#where to buy burlap

[baifapackaging]

How to DIY Nature Jute Gift Bags

Recently, DIY jute bags are especially popular! Come and DIY a jute bag for your friend as a gift bag! Anyone would be very happy to receive such a very heartfelt gift!

Tools for DIY jute bags

Jute bag

Acrylic paint

Acrylic blending liquid

2B pencil

Felt pens

Masking tape

Several brushes 

Steps for DIY jute burlap bags

Firstly, wipe the surface of the sack with a wet paper towel to wipe off the floating hairs.

Secondly, use a de-baller to sand the surface of the jute bag to make it smoother.

Thirdly, if you need to brush the white background, it is recommended to brush a thin layer first, and then a thick layer after drying, until the gaps in the sacking are filled with white pigment. After brushing the white background, the bag will become very solid, it is recommended to take sandpaper to sand it down.

Then, you can use a 2B pencil to make a base for complicated drawings, but you should be a little lighter or you will leave pencil marks.

Determine the location and use acrylic paint to color directly. Add a small amount of acrylic paints and liquid, moderate degrees of concentration, use more paints, multiple color, dry again, generally 1-2 times darker, lighter 2-3 times can not see the original color of the jute bag can be. The wrong painting does not matter, after drying with a hair dryer to cover the desired color on it. The first time you can use the method of spot painting, the burlap bag has a textured area filled with color. The second time and then flat brush evenly.

When you need to control the pattern area, you can paste more layers of masking tape to fix it. Lettering part can choose to print, cut, paste double-sided tape to fix the position, and then brush the color. Do not panic if the color is painted out of bounds, just wait for it to dry and then slowly correct it.

Finally, dry with a hair dryer and you can use it.

In Summary

You can read our this article to learn more about the hessian bag, Natural Jute Gift Bag. And you can visit our website to choose a hessian bag to DIY your own jute gift bag. 

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[somanyratsinthewalls]

Bad Decisions (+18)

Bad Decisions (Sanji x f Reader)

Summary: Your hunger and your impulsivity both get the best of you and you end up in a compromising position. You ask Sanji for help, but it might be even more important to him than it is to you.

Pairing: Sanji x afab!reader

WC: 3500+ oops

TWs: vaginal sex, pet names, oral sex, fingering, crying, begging, virginity loss, it's porn with a brief plot idk man

You were starving. You and the crew had just finished a rough fight on a random island and brought back several chests and bags of treasure back to the ship. For over an hour after your return, you sat on the wooden floor of the deck with Nami going through bags full of gold, silver, and rare jewels. 

“Once we find somewhere to turn all this into berries we can buy the CUTEST new outfits!” Nami shouted with her back to you, head buried in a treasure chest.

“Nami your closet can barely close and you still have stuff with the tags on it, what the hell do you need new clothes for?” You quipped back while rummaging through a burlap sack.

“I’m a pirate, I can do whatever I want y/n.”

You rolled your eyes and continued going through the bag. Your hand felt something… fleshy? Like the soft, tender skin of a banana. You grabbed it and pulled it out to see a strange pink, oblong fruit. Your immediate thought was that this was a devil fruit, but it didn’t bear the signature swirled texture. 

“Nami... come look at this…”

A door was suddenly flung open from the galley. 

“Hello my beautiful girls! I’ve prepared you an aperitif to keep you satiated before dinner is ready! My sweet y/n here-“

Sanji stopped in his tracks after his sudden intrusion.

“Where the hell did you get that? Put it down!” Sanji swiftly placed the tray he was carrying on a barrel and snatched the strange produce out of your hand. 

You were confused as to why Sanji suddenly looked so concerned. 

“Sanji what the fuck is your problem? I found that fair and square!” You snapped at him, your piracy-addled brain wanting to keep it for yourself since it was clearly of value at this point. He held it behind his back as you approached him.

“Mon amour you don’t understand, this is a very dangerous berry and should not be consumed under any circumstance.” Sanji stepped forward, eyes dark with concern.

“Ok weirdo keep your purple banana, I’m here for the diamonds.” Nami said as she carried several of the bags downstairs on the Sunny to the storeroom, leaving you and Sanji in a stalemate on the deck. 

“I’m putting this away.” he said as he walked back into the galley. You followed him quickly, not even letting the door close behind him before threw it open behind you and snipped at him.

“Ok give it up cook, what’s your deal with this thing? Why is it dangerous? It’s not a devil fruit, right?” 

“You don’t understand. These are very rare fruits that are native to the South Blue. I’ve only heard tales from patrons at the Baratie of what this can do to you. It’s the worlds most powerful aphrodisiac.” Sanji’s hands were shaking as he placed the fruit on the kitchen island. 

You snorted trying to keep your laughter in but it fought its way to the front. “Hahaha oh stop it! Those are old wives tales, Sanji. If it’s not a devil fruit, it’s harmless. You’re afraid of it, why? Afraid that it will make you what? Too horny? Come on, be serious!”

“I’m as serious as a heart attack, love. You have NO idea what this can do to someone. And there’s only one way to reverse the affects.” He met your gaze with his last sentence. You expected him to wink or pull something perverted, but his blue eyes showed nothing but worry. You sighed and backed off, realizing that the fruit probably wasn’t worth any money. You returned to the deck and going through the bags Nami left behind.

—-

After another half hour of treasure picking, you heard the growl of your stomach and was painfully reminded of how hungry you were. You silently cursed the curly-browed chef that dinner was taking so long. You made your way to the galley to see how the cooking process was going. 

You walked in to find an empty kitchen. Sanji was probably out having a cigarette. He stopped smoking in the kitchen as much after Robin found a pile of ash in her scrambled eggs one morning. Sanji felt so bad that he cried and groveled for three days. 

You remembered where Sanji stashed that fruit in the ice box. 

Curiously you lifted the lid of the ice box and grabbed the strange berry. As you rolled it in your hand inspecting it, your stomach panged again. Long term thinking had NEVER been your strong suit, hence why you ended up on a dangerous pirate crew with little experience at sea. 

Impulsively, you popped the fruit in your mouth. 

And god, fuck, it was the most magical taste you’ve ever experienced. It was like dark chocolate, raspberries, lavender, all the most tender, delicate flavors rolled into one. You audibly groaned as you tongued it around your mouth. You didn’t want the experience to end but you had to swallow. Right as the fruit hit your stomach the door to the deck opened and there was your blonde lovecook. He looked at you, then at the empty fruit stem in your hand. 

“Tell me you didn’t…” he stood there, mouth agape. 

“So what if I did? I was hungry and you’re dragging ass with dinner. Those stories aren’t even real, I’ll be fine.” You confidently strode towards him trying to move around his tall, slender frame when he grabbed the sides of your arms and forced you to look at him. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS?”

“Get off me!” You were young but you were strong and you shook off his grasp with ease. “I’ll be fine. Stop worrying about me. I can handle myself.” And you ducked past him and walked out onto the deck and back down to your room. You would be fine, right? He had no evidence other than stories from dirty old men on the Baratie. You spent awhile in your room reading before the crew was called for dinner. It was a beautiful spread. Luffy was dominating the serving platters while you sat next to Robin and joked about something gross Franky had done earlier in the day with a large bottle of cola. 

Halfway through the meal you started to feel warm. You ignored it, blaming the summer heat. But the warmth grew, spread to your cheeks and deep in your tummy. Your skin felt like you had a fresh sunburn. Robin rubbed your arm accidentally while laughing at a joke and you jolted forward, your skin being so sensitive and hot. 

“Are you okay y/n?” Robin asked looking into your eyes, visibly concerned.

“I’m fine I think… I think I’m just tired… maybe I need to go to bed.”

You looked across the wooden dining table and Sanji was staring directly at you. He had clearly been watching you the whole time, eyes filled with concern for your physical state. You ignored his glare and excused yourself back down to your room. This feeling was unlike anything you’ve ever felt in your life. It was like static electricity going straight through your veins. You went straight to the bathroom and splashed cold water on your face repeatedly. After a big sigh you buried your face in a towel. Looking up into the mirror you notice something. Your nipples were completely erect. 

You couldn’t possibly believe that this fruit did what Sanji said it did… but you realized you were growing increasingly wet between your legs. 

“You’re kidding…” You audibly curse to yourself. 

You went back to your bed and grabbed your book to start reading and calm yourself down. You stared at the pages, your brain unable to focus on any of the words, only able to focus on the electric feeling in your body. 

Your body was no longer just hot, it was BURNING. You were wearing a large grey t shirt and light pink panties. You look down and see that you’ve soaked them completely through. Frustrated, you throw your book on the table and lay fully on your back. You want to resolve the issue quickly without problems so you reach your hand down into your underwear and start to circle your clit with your right hand. 

It wasn’t enough. 

You insert your pointer and middle finger inside of yourself the way you always do when you need to release. It wasn’t working. You were hurting. It simply wasn’t enough. You kept trying. You were panting and sweating, your hair plastered to your forehead and grunting in frustration as you struggled to reach a peak. Your skin was so sensitive but you simply couldn’t get there. You were starting to feel sick…. The hot, sweating feeling becoming too much for your brain. An idea suddenly hit you-

“There’s only one way to reverse the effects.” Sanji. He knew. He knew how to fix this. You sprinted out of bed, still in a t shirt and panties and grabbed your baby den den mushi and called the Sunny’s landline, knowing it was in the kitchen and Sanji would be there washing dishes. It rang. You waited. Sweat beads dripping down your forehead, pain radiating through your lower half, you kept waiting for a response. 

“Y/n? Mon amour? Are you okay?” Sanji’s concerned, deep voice came through on the line.

“No I’m not. You were right I was wrong, okay? I need you to get down here now.”

He breathed heavily on the other end, having an idea as to what you were going through. He didn't respond.

“Sanji. You told me you knew how to fix this. Please…” your voice was trembling and broken. 

As soon as he heard the desperation in your begging he knew it was serious. He had an obligation to his crew mate. 

“I’ll be there right now.” And he hung up.

Barely a few moments later you heard rapid knocks on your door and the knob turning. Sanji was fully unprepared for the sight he saw when he entered your room.

There you were. Laid out on your bed, but thighs clamped together so desperately trying to get any sort of friction on your aching clit. Sweat from your neck had stained your large, old t shirt. Your breathing was so heavy he could see your breasts rise and fall tiredly, clearly not wearing a bra. 

“I told you not to do this…”

“Okay! I know! I get it! I should have listened to you! But right now Sanji I-… I need your help.. please…” 

He had imagined it so many times… you spread out in bed, begging and pleading for him. Was he dreaming again? He fisted his cock late at night so often thinking about this exact situation. But as a gentleman he was hesitant. Would you be begging for him like this had you not ingested that fruit? Would it be right to touch you like this? You weren’t drunk, you weren’t on drugs, but is it right? His brain was going a thousand nautical miles a minute until you spoke again.

“Sanji…”

You looked at him as you sat up on your elbows. You let your legs fall apart as far as they would go so he could see the massive soaked spot on your panties. 

“Sanji please… it hurts so much…” 

Hurts. You said it hurts. You were in pain. He could see the tears threatening to fall from your lashes. He has never seen you like this a day in his life, even 2 years ago when you first joined the crew and you were new to piracy. He had seen you take blade slices and Chopper sewed them up with no anesthesia and you barely winced. He could barely imagine the pain and frustration that was causing you to have this reaction now. He vowed to never leave a woman in distress, and you certainly were. 

“Let me go get Chopper, he will know what to do.”

“NO!” You shout at him. “Don’t you dare tell anyone on this ship what happened. You said you could help me and I need it.” You were pleading with him. He saw the look in your eyes. So much desperation. So much lust. How could he leave you writhing in all this pain?

Screw it. 

Sanji quickly slips off his shirt jacket and it falls to the floor. He strides toward you loosening his tie. He sits down next to you on the bed. He was more than a little hesitant but he couldn’t resist anymore.

“I need you to understand... that if I help you with this… we won’t ever be the same… I need you to tell me that’s okay.” 

You grabbed his hand. It was so soft and delicate in yours. Slender fingers slotting in between yours. You looked up into his all-blue eyes, you could see the worry. He looked at you like a porcelain doll that he might break if he takes it off the shelf to play with. But you could tell deep down, he wanted to play.

“It’s okay. I need your help Sanji. Please help me.” You breathed out, the feelings getting so much more intense. Your pussy was clenching around nothing after just feeling his hand in yours… your pulse was so high… You needed release soon or you thought you might have a heart attack.

“Fine. But if anything feels wrong you’ll tell me to stop, love, right?”

You nodded your head aggressively and lifted your torso off the bed and removed your shirt. Tossing it aside you then shimmied off your panties, leaving your body fully naked on the bed for him. He had never seen something so beautiful… pert, full breasts heaving on your chest, a sheen of sweat covering your skin. A puddle was forming on the sheets between your legs…. He knew this wasn’t normal. The wetness your pussy was experiencing was nothing human at this point, dripping far more than was normal for any biological person. It was clearly aching.

Sanji got to his knees at the base of the bed, fully taking his tie off now and undoing several buttons of his dress shirt. “Ok love, I’m going to fix all of this.”

He grabbed the backs of your knees and yanked your sweat covered body to the edge of the bed so that he was face to face with your hot, dripping sex. 

“Merde…”

Sanji knew this was his dream. Sure the All Blue was number one but this was the best thing he’s ever seen or smelled. He leans forward towards your bare pussy to deeply inhale your scent. You cover your face, embarrassed at his lewd, perverted actions.

“Sanji please…” you were whining and writhing, waiting for him to touch you. 

He firmly grabs your hip with one hand and holds you down while he spreads your lips with two fingers from the other hand. No longer able to resist your sopping cunt, he dives in immediately and latches onto your throbbing clit. 

You scream out underneath his touch, your skin so painfully sensitive that it feels a thousand times more pleasurable with his mouth. You moan loudly as he laps and sucks at your most sensitive area. With the affects of the fruit and the pleasure Sanji is giving to you, your brain short circuits. You instinctively fist his blonde locks and pull him deeper into your cunt. You needed release and you needed it now. 

Sanji was in Heaven, your sweet sounds and the taste of your rapturous pussy he could barely think straight. Things were going beyond well… especially for someone who has never done this before. Sanji has never touched a woman, let alone had sex. This was a show. He snuck some of Robin’s erotic novels months ago and tried to understand  how to please a woman should the opportunity arise. Sanji’s hands were shaking on your thighs, trying to make sure everything was perfect for you. He remembered reading that having fingers inside a woman feels good when done right. He inserts two fingers and crooks them upwards, pulling slightly while his lips were wrapped around your clit and you shouted out in pleasure.

“Sanji! Oh my god! That’s it, please! It’s perfect, right there! Don’t you dare stop, please!”

Hearing you simultaneously praise and beg him made his head swim. He never thought he’d be able to pleasure a woman like this. He ruts his crotch into the side of the bed as he slurps down all of your sinful juices, trying to suppress his own sexual desires. 

You felt the tension and in your belly start to reach its peak and you aggressively grabbed Sanji’s head.

“Im… cumming!” You shrieked as you released all over his face. You laid back and heaved and felt relieved.. but only for a moment… 

He pulled off of your cunt, goatee soaked in your release. He greedily licks his lips, smirk forming at the corners.  

“My love… it was the best meal I’ve ever eaten in my life… and as someone with a refined palate, I simply can’t say what an honor it’s been.” He tries to compose himself and put his tie back into place as he stands up from the bed. You grab his wrist. 

“Sanji… I need more… all of it… please…” 

He couldn’t believe that he was hearing. Was this it? He needed you almost as bad as you needed him at this point. 

“My darling… do you mean that?” He asks hesitantly

“Of course I do. It still hurts, Sanji. I can’t get rid of this unless I feel all of you inside of me… please…”

Sanji rips off his clothes at lightening speed, stumbling over his trousers in the process. Thick cock slapping his stomach as he pulls down his briefs. He climbs back onto the bed and hovers over you. Remembering the books he read, he grabs an extra pillow and shoves it under your ass, grabbing an experimental squeeze as he does it. You giggle.

“M-my love… I’ve… I’ve never done this before.”

You look up at him, shocked and bewildered. A virgin? Maybe it was because of the mysterious fruit’s effects, but this man had just given you the most earth shattering orgasm you’ve ever had. How can this really be his first time?

“Oh Sanji I’m sorry I just can’t help it, if you don’t want to-“ He cut you off with a sloppy, passionate kiss on your lips. It was messy, it was frantic, it was needy and so, so good. He pulls back panting and says to you, 

“I want to. My love, I want to more than you know, please let me help you.” 

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding and reached up to cup his face with one hand and pull him into a kiss. With your other hand you reached down and guided his throbbing, virgin cock into yourself. 

Sanji groans against your lips, you suck a breath in, finally feeling the fullness your body has been violently craving for what felt like an eternity. He leans back from your kiss, seemingly trying to catch his breath and compose himself. He knew it would be good, but the feeling was far more than he’d ever imagined. Your insides were so warm, so wet and open for him, fitting him inside you so perfectly like the last piece to a puzzle. He was broken out of his trance by a desperate whine from underneath him.

“Sanji… baby please… I need more, fuck me now please?” You bucked your hips upwards into him deeper, trying to fuck yourself on his cock desperately trying to fix the painful ache in your lower half. 

He pulled out of you slowly, still hesitant as to what to do, this being the first time he’s ever made love to a woman, let alone someone he felt so passionately about. He leans forward and fully pushes his sensitive cock back inside of you and you let out a high pitched whine. He repeats his actions as he finds a comfortable rhythm. 

“Oh Sanji thank you so much, thank you so much, it feels so good baby, just like that…” You punctuated his thrusts with explicit compliments and loud moans. Growing confident, he leans back and places his hands on the back of your thighs and pushes them up to your chest. He speeds up his hips and you feel his thick cock reach the perfect spot at this new angle. 

“Sanji! There!” You were screaming at this point. Sanji had half a mind to cover your mouth, knowing every other person on the Sunny could hear you calling out his name in pleasure… but the other half? The thought of everyone knowing that HE was the one giving you such intense pleasure that you can’t help but shriek his name throughout the ship? That was the half that was winning. 

You feel like you’re about to explode. It was right there, you could feel it. Tears begin streaming down your face as your love cook destroys your sloppy pussy with vigor. 

“My love you’re so close, I can barely pull myself out… Please cum for me? Mon amour, I need to see it again. I need to feel you cum on me, please? You’re so beautiful when you cum, you’re perfect, darling, please?” Sanji was shamelessly begging you to release on his cock. He desperately drilled his hips into you, pushing your further up into a pretzel. 

“Yes Sanji I’m right there, fuck baby I’m cumming, SHIT-“ you screamed. The orgasm ripped through your entire body, unlike you’ve ever felt. It was an almost painful, intense pleasure. Sanji continued to plow into you, so incredibly close to his own peak, trying to talk you through it but your ears were ringing. 

“So perfect baby, such a perfect, gorgeous pussy. My perfect little pussy, so good for me…I love you so mu- oh my darling, I’m going to cum, please let me fill you!”

Your brain short circuited, so broken by your orgasm, body almost numb. “Yes of course, I want all of it Sanji please! I want your cum inside of me.”

And with that, he did. He moaned your name loudly as he slumps forward meeting your forehead with his. He lets your legs fall comfortably, but stays on top and inside of you. Nothing but heavy breathing and the sound of waves hitting the side of the ship could be heard. After a few minutes he pulls back and he looks into your eyes, seeing the relief, that you’re finally rid of your pain, he smiles. You smile back. You both start laughing. 

“Sanji, thank you.” You finally breath out after catching the giggles, not even believing what just happened. 

“It truly was my pleasure, darling. Just… just promise me you won’t do anything that stupid again?”

“After how incredible that was? I can make absolutely no promises.” You laugh. “Hey remember when you said you loved me?”

Sanji buried his face in your neck with a groan, clearly embarrassed and hiding his shame. It wasn’t a lie, he just knew you didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to throw himself into the ocean outside the window just to get away from confronting this. He pulled out of the crook of your neck to look at your face. 

“Y/n I-“

“Shhh…” you press your finger to his kiss-bitten lips. “Stay here tonight. We can talk tomorrow.” You assure him while stroking his cheek. Sanji sighs in relief, kissing you gently and laying his head on the pillow next to yours. With nothing left to say you both drift off to sleep, limbs tangled together on your mattress. You can talk about this in the morning.

xx

#one piece smut #one piece #one piece netflix #one piece live action #one piece fanfiction #one piece fandom #one piece fanart #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #black leg sanji #sanji #one piece sanji #sanji vinsmoke #sanji smut #one piece anime #one piece manga

[lilacmingi]

POLYJUICE POTION

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works

Pairing: Ravenclaw!Hongjoong x Ravenclaw!fem reader

Word count: 2,800

Note: These Hogwarts imagines are from my Wattpad from 2022, so keep in mind that there will not be any continuations or extra parts. Imagines for the other members will be posted in the following weeks!

"Man, I didn't study." San dropped his head onto the dining hall table with a soft thump.

"Again." Hongjoong added, causing the Slytherin to pout in response.

You chuckled, watching the two.

"You never study, San." Hongjoong pointed out.

"He's right." You added.

"I do sometimes." San argued.

"Not this time."

San frowned. "What am I gonna do? I have a herbology test in fifteen minutes and my grades are horrible."

"Cram, I guess." Hongjoong shrugged.

"You know, some people do better when they cram last minute." You supplied, trying to cheer your close friend up a little.

"I'm doomed either way." The Slytherin dropped his head in defeat.

"Don't be like that." Hongjoong told him.

"Hongjoong is right. If you think about it, a little studying is better than no studying at all."

"She has a point." Your fellow Ravenclaw agreed.

"Well, I'd love to stay here and see where this goes, but I have a transfiguration class to get to. Good luck, San."

"Yeah." He grumbled discouragingly.

"See you after potions, Hongjoong." You waved, walking off to class.

You were actually hoping to talk to San without Hongjoong around, but seeing as your poor Slytherin friend was in a predicament, and not alone, you chose to wait and chat later.

Once you left the dining hall, San continued to mope, muttering to himself about how he was going to totally fail.

"Wait. I got it!" San lifted his head, his eyes brightening as an idea popped into his mind. "You have a free period, right Hongjoong?"

"Yes."

"Could you do me a favor?"

"That depends."

"Can you use a Polyjuice potion and take my herbology test for me?"

Hongjoong's eyes widened at the absurd idea.

"You want me to pretend to be you?"

San nodded vigorously with hopeful eyes.

"No way." The Ravenclaw shook his head.

"Please?"

"No. Do you know how hard it'll be to get it done in time?"

"I have everything." He quickly supplied.

Hongjoong narrowed his eyes in speculation.

San clasped his hands together, his bottom lip stuck out in a pout as he begged the older wizard. "Hongjoong, please. Just this once and I'll never ever ask again."

"What do I get in return?" He quirked a brow, his arms crossed expectantly over his chest.

"I'll buy you whatever you want from Honeydukes."

"Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want."

"Alright. Deal."

San and Hongjoong left the dining hall and made their way down the long corridors of the school, the younger Hogwarts student practically vibrating with excitement. He—Hongjoong was totally going to ace this test for him. He swears he'll study next time, promising himself to make an attempt to do better with his academic work.

"Just let me go into my dormitory and get the stuff. I'll be out before you can say Honeydukes."

Hongjoong hated how chipper San was about this situation. He just gets to hide out while Hongjoong does the dirty work. It hardly seems fair. At least he would be getting sweets out of this deal. Hongjoong smiled at the thought, practically tasting the Cauldron Cake and Fizzing Whizbees.

San returned with a small burlap bag clutched in his hand and a small cauldron hidden under his robes, gesturing for the two to make their way to the bathrooms. Maneuvering around the many students lingering in the hallway, San and Hongjoong snuck off to the boys restrooms to prepare the potion.

"You know once finals roll around you can't cheat, right? They charm the writing quills and parchment." Hongjoong mentioned as he dropped in a small cluster of knotgrass, watching it melt into the thick liquid inside the cauldron.

"I know, I know." San muttered, playing with a loose string on his robes.

The oldest stirred the substance that began to slowly bubble and thicken, tossing in the last few ingredients.

"Ugh. That smells awful." San commented as he pinched his nose.

"You're not the one that has to drink it." Hongjoong pointed out bitterly. "Now come here."

San moved closer to the Ravenclaw who grabbed a strand of his hair, yanking it from his head.

"Ouch!" He whimpered, rubbing his scalp.

"Payback." Hongjoong commented, dropping the wisp into the roiling substance.

Plucking one measly hair from San's head wasn't nearly the amount of payback he deserved for putting Hongjoong in this situation, but it was enough for the moment. Hongjoong would decide if his younger friend needed further punishment after this situation plays out. If all goes well, then all San lost was a strand of hair.

"You're doing me a huge favor." San told his friend, noticing the bitter expression etched on his face. "I promise I'll study more."

"You'd better." Muttered Hongjoong as he stared at the icky substance in the ladle, his stomach churning in response. "Remember, you owe me." He reminded the Slytherin.

"Of course." San nodded.

And with that, Hongjoong downed the mixture, cringing immediately at the taste. He then started coughing, feeling the potion take effect.

After a few agonizing moments, he stumbled over to the bathroom mirror to see if the concoction worked the way it was supposed to. Polyjuice potions can sometimes go awry if you don't pay attention to what you're putting in it.

"Heyyy, you look handsome." San grinned at Hongjoong's reflection, which now showed an exact replica of the dark-haired and dimpled wizard.

Hongjoong glared at San through the mirror, clearly unamused by his antics. His cheeky grin fell from his face. It was only then that he realized how much time was left for Hongjoong to get to class.

"You have to hurry. You've got less than five minutes." He shoved a small satchel into the Ravenclaw's chest. "Here's all my stuff."

"Yeah, yeah." Hongjoong waved San off, hurrying out of the bathroom.

The Ravenclaw disguised as a Slytherin grumbled to himself, suddenly regretting doing this "favor" for his friend.

It's completely foolish.

Why did he let himself be swayed by sweets?

Stepping into San's herbology class, Hongjoong moved towards a seat near the back of the room. This wasn't his first time using a Polyjuice potion. He had done so for practice in potions class a year prior, but he had never used it for real life circumstances such as this one. What if someone tried to talk to him? He would have to pretend to be San. What would San even say? Probably something stupid.

Please don't let anyone try and talk to me.

He wished you were there. You'd help calm him down and tell him everything would be okay. No. You would have turned the whole idea down in an instant. If San had brought up this half-baked idea moments earlier while you were still in the dining hall, you would have shut him down.

"No way is Hongjoong going to do that. San, you're my friend, but you've gotta tough this one out. Plus, it's just one test."

That's what he imagined you would say.

"Alright class, get your quills and parchment ready. The quiz is about to start."

Letting out a long, drawn-out sigh, Hongjoong retrieved the items from San's satchel and began the test.

An hour and a half later, class had ended, the rather stressed Ravenclaw feeling like he could breathe a sigh of relief. The test wasn't all that difficult. He was a year above San, so he remembered some of the material from when he had taken herbology his sixth year. At the very least, he got San a high B, which was probably much better than the forgetful Slytherin could have done.

Hongjoong stepped out of the classroom, planning to make a beeline for the bathrooms before the potion wore off. He zipped past students, weaving his way through the flurry of witches and wizards. When the sign for the boys' bathroom was in his line of sight, he picked up his pace, wanting to get there quickly. Until...

"San!"

You had just gotten out of your potions class that let out a little early for the day. Spotting a familiar head of dark hair hurrying down the hall, you called out to him, finally having found the opportunity to speak to San alone.

"There you are." You ran over to him.

"Hey, Y/n." He greeted with a smile, seeming a little off.

"How'd your test go?"

"I think I did alright." He responded.

"That's good to hear. Cramming works sometimes." You gave him a light slap on the back. "Listen, I really wanted to talk to you earlier, but Hongjoong was around so I couldn't. Do you have time?"

This caught his attention.

Something you couldn't say around him? Was there something you and San knew that he didn't?

"Of course. What is it?"

He could see you were a bit nervous, maybe even a little hesitant, but waited for you to speak.

"I'm finally gonna confess to him."

"San's" eyes widened upon hearing that as it clicked into place instantly.

"To Hongjoong?" He questioned, just to make things a bit clearer.

"Yes, to Hongjoong. Why do you seem so surprised? You know I've been crushing on him for two years."

"Two—" He paused, clearing his throat in an attempt to gather himself. "Y-Yeah. Of course."

Your face fell a bit in realization.

"Oh. You're not surprised... you think it's a bad idea. Don't you?"

"No!" He spoke up abruptly, being a bit louder than he intended. "I mean... I think you should go for it."

"Really?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

You chuckled. "You're a bit enthusiastic about it. It's almost like you know he'll say yes or something." Your expression was then replaced with horror. "You didn't say anything to him, did you?"

"No. I didn't. I just have a feeling that he probably feels the same as you. I'm a guy. We know these things about each other."

He cringed internally at that last part, but it seemed like something San would say, so he went with it.

"Ah." You nodded, taking in deep breath. "Okay. Well, if you see Hongjoong, could you tell him to meet me at the Marble Staircase Tower on the top floor, you know, the one that overlooks the Quad?"

"Yes! I'll be sure to tell him."

"Thank you. I'm so nervous."

"You'll do f—" Hongjoong had reached a hand out to place on you shoulder, pausing when he saw his polished pinkie.

The potion was beginning to wear off. He needed to get out of there fast.

Noticing the expression on "San's" face, you spoke up, asking if he was alright.

"I'm fine! Good luck with Hongjoong. I have to go."

You didn't have time to reply as San hurried off, bumping into people as he headed down the corridor.

"Choi San!" Hongjoong shouted, storming into the bathroom.

The wizard in question jumped in response to his name being called so loudly. Stepping out from a stall, he was met with Hongjoong, who seemed to have already returned to normal.

"Ah. You're done. How did it—" He couldn't even finish his sentence for Hongjoong blowing up.

"Y/n has had a crush on me for two years and you didn't say anything?" He exploded.

San's eyes became wide before he tilted his head in confusion.

"How did you know?"

"She stopped me in the hallway to tell me she was finally going to confess. She thought I was you."

San's mouth formed an O shape as he realized the cat had been let out of the bag.

"I can't believe you didn't say anything." Hongjoong went on.

"I promised her I wouldn't. How would you feel if someone told your crush you liked them and they didn't feel the same?"

"San, that's the issue. I like her."

The Slytherin's eyes widened in surprise.

"How was I supposed to know?"

Hongjoong sighed, realizing he had no reason to be upset. "You weren't, because I never said anything."

"Well, she said she was going to confess to you. Did she tell you anything else?" San asked.

"She wants me to meet her at the Marble Staircase Tower."

The Slytherin's jaw dropped.

"Then, what are you doing standing here? You have to go meet her." He rushed.

"But... what would I say?"

"Just act casual. Think about it as if you don't know why she wants to meet with you."

"But I do know why she wants to meet with me."

"Pretend you don't." With one, final shove, San pushed Hongjoong out of the bathroom. "Now, go get your girl, loverboy!"

"San!" He whisper yelled.

"Go! Go!"

Hongjoong sighed and started down the corridor, heading in the direction of the Marble Staircase Tower, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.

By the time he arrived at the bottom of the tower steps, he was out of breath, but his determination overpowered his exhaustion as he continued on. He hurried up the stairs, sometimes skipping one in an attempt to reach the top faster.

The opening for the highest floor came into view and as Hongjoong reached the top, he spotted you waiting for him, fiddling anxiously with the sleeves of your robe. His heart fluttered nervously as he approached you.

"Y/n?"

You turned, your face lighting up at the sight of him. He wouldn't have noticed this had he not known your feelings for him.

"Hongjoong. You made it."

"Of course I did. What did you want to see me for?"

He could see the way your shoulders raised as you took in a deep breath in preparation for what you were about to say.

"There's something important I want to say to you before I chicken out." Your eyes met his, as if to get confirmation to continue.

"Yes. Anything. Tell me anything." He nodded, his round eyes watching you with anticipation, waiting to hear your confession fall from your pretty lips.

"Hongjoong, I've had a crush on you for two years. I know this is abrupt and you probably don't feel th—"

"I like you too." He cut you off.

"Wh-" You paused. "What?"

"I have a confession too. It wasn't San you talked to in the hallway."

Your expression dropped immediately.

"San asked me to take his test for him and I agreed."

"Polyjuice potion." You muttered under your breath as everything clicked into place.

"Right."

"So, I practically confessed to you right there." It was a question, but it came out as more of a statement.

Hongjoong nodded wordlessly, confirming your fears. But wait... he said he liked you too, did he not? You were too busy being surprised that Hongjoong used a Polyjuice potion to pose as San that you completely glossed over his confession.

"You said you liked me too?" You asked.

"I do. A lot."

He bravely took a step forward, his eyes briefly flicking down to your lips. The feeling of his palm brushing against your cheek as he cupped it made you realize what was about to happen, and you most certainly weren't against it. You watched with bated breath as Hongjoong inched closer to you, the space between your faces diminishing until you could feel his lips ghost against your own. You didn't wait for him to initiate the kiss, instead you leaned forward, being the one to close the sliver of space that was between your mouths.

Hongjoong's eyes fluttered closed at the contact, his hand that cupped your cheek moved to the back of your neck to pull you in closer, needing more of you.

Your body felt like it was on fire, as if someone had cast an incendio spell on you. Your fellow Ravenclaw was feeling very similar, his body rushing with warmth as he held your bodies flush against each other. Your fingers clung to the collar of his robe, tugging in an almost desperate manner as you pressed your mouth closer to his, a blissful sigh escaping you. It didn't take long for things to get heated, the both of you kissing each other with such ferocity that you wondered if anyone could hear you.

As much as he didn't want to, Hongjoong pulled away, both of you huffing breathlessly. You glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes, your brain still foggy from such an intense kiss.

"I hate to put a stop to this, but we've got a transfiguration class in seven minutes." He mentioned hoarsely.

You groaned in disappointment, dropping your head onto his shoulder. "I totally forgot."

"We can always continue in the Ravenclaw common room after classes are over."

You lifted your head at that and Hongjoong could see a glam in your eye that made him chuckle.

"We should go." He mentioned, smoothing your hair out. "Don't want to be late."

Seonghwa ⟡ Yunho ⟡ Yeosang ⟡ San ⟡ Mingi ⟡ Wooyoung ⟡ Jongho

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

🏷 @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143 @lizzymizzy-blogg @minhanbyeol @dinossaurz

#hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x you #hongjoong x y/n #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong x you #kim hongjoong x y/n #ateez imagines #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong oneshot #ateez scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop oneshots #kpop scenarios #hogwarts au #ateez hogwarts au

[ordinaryschmuck]

David Zaslav is on the phone as he enters his office.

David: It's nothing personal, it's just business. But don't worry, once another buyer offers eighty million, you'll have your property back. Okay? Okay. Goodbye, Mom. Love you.

He hangs up and notices a package left on his desk.

David: Huh. That's peculiar.

He walks over and sees that it's addressed to him. With a shrug, he opens it up.

*WHACK*!

And gets hits in the face with a springy boxing glove.

***

A burlap sack is ripped off David's head. He looks around and sees he's in a form of a warehouse, with the only light being the shining above him. In the shadows, he hears a crunch of somekind.

???: Eh, *tsk-tsk* What's up, Doc?

Out from the shadows comes Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam, and even Foghorn Leghorn. They do NOT look happy.

David: Who...Who ARE you? WHAT are you?

Sam: OOOOOOOOOOOH!

He pulls out his guns.

Sam: Now I KNOW y'all didn't just say that you--

Bugs waves a hand in front of Sam.

Bugs: It's okay, Sammy Boy. Can't blame da poor, dumb, foolish suckah. (To David) Do ya know who Mickey Mouse is, Doc?

David: Is...that who you are?

Daffy: Doeth he look like a MOUTHE, you buffoon?!

Bugs: Daf. (To David) Mickey's the mascot of Disney, YOUR competitor. Fer bettah or woise, he represents da company. And to dis day is the backbone dat made Disney what it is. As for me and my compatriots, dat's who WE are for Warner Brudders.

David: I-I'm the CEO of Warner Brothers DISCOVERY.

Foghorn: Which is, I say, which is the result of merging with WARNER BROTHERS, ya dumb pig! No offense, Pork.

Porky: N-N-No-No-No offense taken.

Bugs: (To David) Ya see, Doc, we're da Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Foghorn Leghorn, and Yosemite Sam. Ya see, while Walter was makin' the mouse dat would rule the world wid a goofy cartoon mouse that entertained the kiddies, we's was making some CLASS. Cartoons dat dee adults AND kids could appreciate, wid witty dialogue and cartoonish slapstick. Me and Daf, here? We made bank off a short where we discussed who got shot by Elmer Fudd, where da joke was ALWAYS Daffy getting hit.

Daffy: Took a lot of shotth to make that comedy gold. LIterally.

Bugs: And it worked. Wid a poifect simple premise dat people always remember, wid people going "Wabbit Season, Duck Season" to dis day. Dat's who we are, Doc...And ya messed it all up.

Sam: Ya messed with the WRONG pardners, Davie!

David: H-How? How did I mess with you?!

Bugs: Hey, don't feel too bad. Warner Brudders' have been messing wid us for years, but we always took it on the chin. Dey want us to do TWO basketball movies? Dey want us to get rid of Pepe Le Pew? Why not. He stunk anyway and we wanted him out for years. Dey want our iconic image for an animated sitcom? We did it. 'Cause we're da Looney Tunes. We can sell ANYTHING.

Porky: I-I-I actually l-l-li-lo-li-lo--Really enjoyed the sitcom.

Bugs: Okay, it can be argued dat da sitcom is criminally underrated, but dat's besides the point. What I'm getting at is dat we're willing ta sell anything just as long as we get some of dat green ourselves. But ya made a mistake, Doc. Ya see, you went after one of our own.

He makes a "come here" gesture, and both Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner come out from the shadows as well, with Road Runner comforting the Coyote.

Bugs: Pepe Le Pew is one thing. We understand that his sense of humor doesn't fit well wid dis day and age. But Wile? Oh brudder, why did ya have to mess wid him?

David: What did I do to him?!

Bugs: Coyote Vs. ACME. Ringin' any bells?

David: That...movie no one wants to buy?

Bugs: A movie ya overselled for a quick buck. A movie dat people worked night and day on. A movie written by James Gunn, yer golden boy who you have fixin' yer DC franchise.

Foghorn: Which is, I say, which is a whole DIFFERENT can a worms.

Bugs, ignoring him: A movie dat stars our very own Wile E. Coyote. A character who's toons and silly antics are timeless and, I'll admit, makes bank better than me. Wit no dialogue, just expressions and goofy signs, him and da Road Runner are characters where the possibility is limited by da power of imagination. And a movie where he sues ACME over their failed gadgets? Well, I'd watch that. Wouldn't you, boys?

The others all murmur in agreement.

David: Well, it might not make a profit--

Bug: Space Jam 2 made TWICE of what yer trying ta sell Wile's movie for. Ya would think that a man desperate to make money would release a film featuring their most iconic brand to get him MORE money. But, no, that's what a GOOD business man would do.

David: Please! I-It wasn't anything personal! I didn't even WATCH the movie!

The Tunes all stare at him.

Bugs: ...Ya didn't WATCH it?

David: N-No?

Bugs: You were willing to sell, shelve, and even DELETE a movie from existence because ya don't think it won't make a profit. Except ya nevah THOUGHT ta watch it yerself and make yer judgment?

David: ...Running a business is REALLY hard--

Bugs: You MAROON. You marooniest maroon that's ever marooned. I can't even comprehend how not only did you get yer job but how ya STILL have a job despite all da STOOPID decisions you've made in--How long has he been in charge?

Porky: A-A-A--Nearly t-two years, boss.

Bugs: TWO YEARS. Ya've been in charge for TWO YEARS and managed to cost da studio so much money that ya could compare it to da GREAT DEPRESSION! If Disney loses dat money, dey can make it back wid anothah Marvel movie or a live action remake of Moana! WE ain't Disney, Doc! We need every dime we get and we're losin' it because a YOU!

David: ...

Bugs: Honestly, we was initially thinkin' a beatin' the snot out a yous and leaking da movie to da public. But now? Woof. NOW I know yer as dumb as an animal. And an animal needs to be treated as an animal.

He pulls out a dog whistle and gives it a blow. Within seconds, a small, brown tornado bursts through a wall in the warehouse and zooms over to the group, stopping its spin to reveal The Tasmanian Devil.

Bugs: Have ya heard of the Tasmanian Devil, David? Who am I kidding, of COURSE ya haven't. Well, let's just say that he'd be happy to meet you.

Taz looks at David, licks his lips, and starts jumping for joy as he heads over to him.

David: No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO--

***

David stands before a press conference, clothes torn up and his body bandaged.

David: I am now announcing that I'm stepping down as CEO of Warner Brothers Discovery...And as my last act, I will release Coyote Vs. ACME to the public.

Reporter: And are you going to release Batgirl too?

David: Well, no, that movie's unreleasable--

A batarang lands in front of him.

David: ...Batgirl and Coyote Vs. ACME. Both coming soon...to a theater or streaming service near you.

#david zaslav #the looney tunes #looney tunes #bugs bunny #daffy duck #porky pig #yosemite sam #foghorn leghorn #wile e coyote #road runner #coyote vs acme #fuck david zaslav #sorry this is long #i had to get this off my chest

[my-soupy-brain]

Got some new clothes in an online shopping haul and I need Ted to hype me up while I try stuff on

Ted is the ultimate hype boyfriend. There's literally nothing you could wear that he won't celebrate. It could be a burlap sack, for goodness sake, and he'll tell ya how damn beautiful you look, darlin'. Let's gooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader (f)

Warnings: So kind and cute it hurts, but let's get some smut in there too

---

You've never done a haul before. It's the hottest thing online -- buy a bunch of clothes from a website or two, and try them on.

You were nervous though.

Your body had changed, admittedly. Ted's biscuits didn't help, but you'll be damned if you ever turn them down.

So dressing for some plumper areas of your body felt...

"Whatcha got there, sugar?" Ted chimes, seeing you unload the box on the bed, chewing on an apple while help leans against the doorframe.

"I did one of those online shopping haul things? From a couple of websites I wanted to try. And I'm about to dive right in," you say with a sigh.

"Oooh! Fashion show. You'll look gorgeous in whatever ya wear, y'know," Ted says, moving to sit on the bed, picking up the individually wrapped clothes and trying to imagine what's inside.

"Oh Ted, you don't... no, it's OK," you start to offer, trying to avoid the embarrassment of him seeing you in these new garments. Especially ones that might not look so great.

He can see the doubt on your face.

"Now, I'll leave if ya want me to, but I'll gladly be your front-row audience and cheering section, too," he says, dragging you between his legs so he can wrap his arms around you and touch you.

Despite how your body may have changed over the last couple of months, Ted never showed any signs of being anything but enamored with you.

You smile. "OK, here goes!"

...

Your first outfit is a fairly body-forming long-sleeve fuzzy dress, perfect for winter around the corner. You paired it with a belt you ordered and some black boots.

As soon as you open the door, Ted's eyes are big, his mouth dropped open.

"Oh, sugar, lemme see that," he says, his voice low and sultry. His hands run down the sides of the dress, the fabric so soft it makes him smile.

"You're like a cozy, sexy goddess," Ted chimes, grinning at you. You do a small twirl and Ted nods, looking you up and down.

"I mean..." he nods again. "Yeah, keep that. Keep that one for sure."

You blush wildly and look down, Ted bringing you back to stand in front of him, his hands grabbing your hips.

"Shows off all those perfect damn curves," he murmurs, his drawl heavy and voice a bit lower. "I love seein' what I can grab onto. Sexiest thing in the dang world."

You shudder a little and blush again, and Ted looks up and sees your face.

"Let's see what else you've got hidin' back there, sugar," and he lightly spanks your butt as you turn to walk away and you giggle.

The next outfit is a red mockneck sweater, with a heart-shaped cutout over the cleavage, tucked into some baggy black, soft pants that can be dressed up or down. You pair it with some heels.

Ted whistles as soon as he sees it.

"Well, they placed that heart right, I'll say that much," Ted says, his eyes going to your chest. You raise an eyebrow playfully.

"C'mon, now! I mean 'cause that's where that beautiful heart of yours is!"

You laugh. "That all?"

"No, also because where those beautiful curves are that make my heart pound," he chides, bringing you back in front of him, holding your hand while he looks you up and down.

"Oh, I like those pants! They're like dressy jammies!" Ted smiles up at you, and you grin.

Boys.

You stand in the mirror and look at yourself from every angle, Ted leaning back on the bed and watching you.

"Sugar, you couldn't look better even if you had a professional stylist," he says with confidence. You eyeball him through the mirror.

"Now, now. We know that's not true."

Ted shrugs. "Sure it is. You're perfect just like y'are. No need to mess with perfection."

You blush and smile, blowing him a kiss through the mirror, which he playfully catches.

The next few outfits go by in a whirlwind. Ted claps, touches, marvels, cheers.

"Look at you!" "Golly, darlin', you're makin' my heart race!" "That color is gorgeous with your eyes." "But so is that color! Oh, you can wear the rainbow, sugar!"

Ted will be damned if you don't feel like the most beautiful thing in the world every second you can.

...

You're in the bathroom for a little while.

"Y'got anything else in there, darlin'?" Ted calls from the other room. You smile as you fix the straps of the next item.

When the door opens, Ted is texting Beard a silly meme and smiling at his phone. You clear your throat.

"Last one."

Ted puts his phone down and when his eyes look up, his heart almost stops beating.

You're standing there in a purple, satin and lace short nightgown and matching robe. You're in bare feet, for once, your hair down and a smile on your face.

"Thoughts?" you ask, biting your lip nervously.

"Come here."

"Wait, good or bad?" you ask.

"Come here."

You step closer, and Ted pulls you over his lap, his hands roaming up your body over the satin, his breathing shallow, and a moan slips out of his throat.

"You like this color?"

Ted leans his lips forward and kisses your collarbone, his mustache brushing your skin, his big hands roaming the curves of your ass, your back, your hips...

"I take that as a yes?"

He grunts and groans, his lips moving up your neck to your ear.

He's breathing hard and fast, his breath hot against you, and you can't help but give into wherever this is going.

"What color is it?" Ted asked, making you laugh. "I didn't even notice."

You chuckle, and he giggles with you, his hands still traveling every curve. Even the new ones.

"You're delicious," he murmurs to your neck, nibbling your ear.

"So...is this a keeper?" you ask, your breath changing and desire coursing your veins.

"You're a keeper," Ted says against your skin, his fingers now in your hair as he looks at you, his eyes dark with lust. "But yeah, this is a keeper, but it won't be on long."

He quickly rolls you to the bed, to your back, his lips trailing from your lips to your jaw, neck, chest, breasts, hips, and thighs. When his hands ghost under the short hem of the nightgown, he moans when he realizes there's no barrier.

With little notice, he moves to the floor on his knees, hooking his arms around your thighs and tugging you toward the edge of the bed as you squeak in surprise.

His nose bumps against your clit and he groans again, his tongue meeting you, kissing you, tasting you...

"Ted!" you cry out, your hands gripping the sheets of the bed, and one moving to his hair. His eyes make contact with yours, dark and focused, his mouth dipping down, his tongue dipping in again and again.

"Taste so good, could eat ya all day," Ted murmurs, with that sexy drawl and low baritone.

When he slides his first two fingers in you, you gasp and he smiles. His thumb plays against your clit, making your breath grow shorter and sharper.

"I don't think I need to warm ya up, sugar," he says with a sly grin. "I think all that fun teasin' earlier got ya started. But I wanna make you feel good like a goddess deserves..."

When he curls his fingertips your hips bump up, your body arching as the pleasure rolls through your nerves, up your thighs and to your stomach.

"Oh, God..."

"Yeah, baby...you're so beautiful..."

He almost gets you to climax before you beg him to come back to you.

"Need you...need..." you murmur, your brain short-circuiting. "Please..."

Ted smiles and crawls up to you, unbuckling his belt with one hand, your greedy hands pulling his shirt off while he pulls down his pants and boxer briefs.

A big, warm hand holds your thigh and he leans down to take a nipple into his mouth, and you can feel his cock teasing your center. You wiggle your hips and Ted smiles.

"Almost there, doll," he whispers, kissing his way back to your lips.

He wets the tip against you and pushes in, and you wrap your legs high around him, his hands back on your thighs.

"You're so soft, so delicious," he murmurs, his lips against yours for a moment, whispering. "You're perfect."

Your fingernails drag down his back and up his hair, down his chest and chest hair, and back up to cup his face.

He makes love soft but deep. It's a rainy Sunday evening, nowhere to be, nothing to do. So he takes his time.

"God, Ted," you murmur. "I'm...I'm..."

Ted nods against you, the tendril over his forehead bouncing.

"Yeah, sugar, me too... let it happen, baby," he comforts, and you arch your back and the angle moves, his hands quickly running down your breasts and waist and hips.

"I'm so damn lucky," he says, looking down at you, your head thrown back in pleasure.

When he hovers over you again, you bring your lips to his, and the roll of his tongue against yours, his breath shared with you...that does it...

"Oh God, oh God!" you pant, your body shaking as the climax comes through you, your breathing tight in your stomach as the pleasure mounts.

"Yeah, yeah, I feel you, darlin'. Keep goin'. Keep goin'. Almost there..."

Your fingernails clutch his back and the stinging pain is pleasurable, sending his hips moving faster in and out of you, and then...

You wrap your legs around him as he clutches you and fills you, moaning your name in your ear, both of your bodies shaking. When the movement stops, you breathe together, your bodies a little slick with sweat. He kisses your neck and cheek sweetly, and you kiss his lips the same.

"I love you," you offer, gazing into his eyes, making him smile. He cups your face. "I love you, too. So much."

When he moves away from you, he returns with a washcloth to clean you up, and you smile at the warm softness of his touch. He crawls into bed and curls you into his chest.

"So are you keepin' this one?" Ted asks, and you look down at the wrinkles and the small drips of his sweat on the satin.

"I think I have to," you laugh. "It's a good thing we both like it."

Ted chuckles, the low sound against your ear where you lay on his chest.

"Oh yeah, I can say that one's a success."

"Maybe I'll do another haul...of just these..."

Ted closes his eyes and moans a little.

"We can test 'em all."

"Well, it needs your stamp of approval for sure," you offer, kissing him as his hand runs down your back again.

"Sugar, anything you wear has my stamp of approval."

---

WOOOOO! Monday Smutday? Why not. I love how Ted would be such a cheerleader. He honestly would find no flaws in anything you try on. But lingerie haul? He's a perfect test subject. Hahaaa! Thanks for the prompt, friend!

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fluff #ted lasso x you #ted lasso smut

[hms-no-fun]

Why is it that Jane threatening to buy the post office as a teenager is indicative of her becoming a fascist as an adult? Couldn’t it just be that she’s upset at her delayed package and makes a threat she has no actual intention of following through on?

why is a child billionaire threatening to buy a public service with the explicit intention of privatizing it (something that is very much within her power to do) indicative of the possibility that she might grow up to be a fascist? man, i dunno. i guess you'd have to make the argument that one's class position dictates their ideology and morality, and that as such rich people are conditioned from an early age to view all of society as a series of products to be purchased and resources to be pillaged.

is it destiny? certainly not. there are so many different ways jane could grow up. the epilogues show us one very particular vision of jane's future wherein that rich kid grew up into a rich fascist. neither i nor the epilogues think that this is the *only* vision for her future, and you know, the text invites you to write the jane you want to see in the world. my contention is that the epilogues' vision of jane is imminently plausible, and sheds some really interesting light on a side of her character that we saw in fits and starts in homestuck proper. of course i don't like how she's written with jake in the epilogues, personally. i think a lot of that stuff is mean-spirited in the bad way. but come on. have you read homestuck? jane sucks! all the alphas suck, that's what makes them great. the betas suck too but they're like vanilla suck. the alphas are neapolitan suck. they're a beautiful codependent disaster. i love them. i hate them. i think it's good when characters suck, actually.

oh and the trolls are a damp burlap sack of wet rocks shoveled off an old gravel road in an april hail storm in the rural midwest. that's neither here nor there i just didn't want to leave them out of the ice cream analogy

wait what was your question? oh right, fascist jane. yeah man i'm right there with you. totally. oh yeah, no, for sure. right. right. the breast milk was too much. right! yeah i agree. oh my god you're so right. yeah. oh absolutely. uhuh. oh i know. yeah. that was really problematic, yeah. oh i hated that part. uhuh. right. oh my god i know!

i hope you're filling in the blanks between those sentences because that's the closest you're gonna get to a conversation where i agree with you about jane crocker

#homestuck #jane crocker #homestuck epilogues #i'm feeling bitchy today #sarahposts #idk why #sorry if you're not an asshole anon #i didn't mean to hurt your feelings #please forgive me for my bad takes #i am literally just a goat #my girlfriend molly made that bear meme btw

[legend-of-thyme]

Today is @ikaishere 's birthday (at least in my time zone, and I know I'm barely squeaking it in here) and tomorrow is mine. I borrowed the modern AU boys to write some sibling fluff and GrooZeLink. Hope you had a great birthday!!!

---------

“What do you guys think? The feather earrings or the swords?” Sky turns his head side to side critically eyeing his reflection in the mirror.

“Personally I think you should worry more about finding some pants first,” drawls Wars from where he’s sprawled over bed without even looking up from his phone. “Sun and Groose might not mind your ratty old pajama shorts, but the restaurant will probably have some objections”. 

Sky flops backwards into a pile of laundry with a groan earning himself an indignant squeak from Wind. 

“Sky!” he complains, snatching up one of his hands before he can run it through his hair. “You’re going to ruin my masterpiece” 

“Sorry, sorry,” he replies, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. “At least my nails will look nice even if I have to go dressed in a burlap sack”. Wind beams and he can’t help but smile. The kid did a good job on the nails, even forgoing his usual favorite neon oranges for a softer shade of blue coated in white crackle.

Warrior’s eye roll is nearly audible. “Don’t be dramatic. Didn’t you buy a skirt for tonight just last week?”

“That was before I knew we were going indoor skydiving between the escape room and dinner! I have to bring a change of clothes and if I put it in my bag it will get all horrible and wrinkly.”

Wind pokes through one of the discarded piles of shirts, picking things up to examine them before tossing them to the side. “Just wear your date jeans. It’s your birthday. Shouldn’t you just wear what you like?”

Sky pouts. Wind is right of course, but it’s the principle of the thing. He has plenty of clothes that hit the sweet spot of being comfortable while also making him feel confident and attractive, but he’s hoping for more tonight. Something to really wow his partners. There’s a warmth that curls through his chest whenever Groose gives him a slow once over and a low whistle, or when Sun reaches out to trace the pattern of his shirt or play with a bit of lace or tassel that he would bottle and keep forever if he could. And maybe War’s is right and he is being a little dramatic, but that warmth is going to be his birthday present to himself if he has to turn his closet inside out to get it. 

A balled up sock hits him in the head, breaking him from his thoughts. He looks around in time to seek Wars drop his phone on the bedside table and swing to his feet. 

“Do you trust me?,” he asks, smiling.

“A terrifying question,” Wind mutters under his breath and Sky can’t help snorting a laugh into his fist as Warriors sticks his tongue out at their youngest brother, dignity forgotten. 

“I would trust Wild at this point if it gets me to my date on time”.

“All right then,” Wars cracks his knuckles with a grin. “Grab your date jeans. We’ll pair them with Sun’s old band shirt she did that diy fringe on”.

“The ‘without music life would B♭’ one? Are you sure?” Sky frowns as Wind begins searching. 

“Very. The stupid pun makes you smile and it shows a little skin,” Wars nods and circles him slowly as he pulls on the clothes. “The purple silk scarf would make a cute belt and if you promise not to scuff them I’ll lend you my jacquard docs”. He nods, satisfied. “It’s going to get cold tonight so you should top it off with Groose’s old leather jacket you stole when he wanted to get rid of it”. 

Sky spins slowly, getting a feel for the outfit and letting Wars examine his work before turning to the mirror. It’s comfortable and easy to move in and the shoes and belt make it feel special enough for a date outfit. Wind clambers up onto the bed behind him and swiftly does up the clasp to a necklace before jumping down to hug onto his side. He reaches up and smiles softly as he feels the familiar iris brooch.

“There,” Wars returns his smile and ruffles Wind’s hair. “Now you look perfect”.

-------------

“Sky!” Sun calls, rushing across the parking lot to pull him down for a kiss before leaning her head on his shoulder and tangling her fingers in the beaded tassels of his shirt. “We were starting to worry you’d fallen asleep or something.”

He sticks his tongue out at her and hugs her tighter, admiring the way she looks with his old fuzzy green sweater hanging off one shoulder. “And miss my perfect birthday date? Never. I bet Legend we could beat the escape room’s record time”. 

Butterflies erupt in his stomach even as he teases her, reminding him of the early days of his crush.

“Well, well, well,” Groose saunters more slowly across the lot, hands shoved in his pockets. “I never thought I’d see the day, but I think you wear that jacket better than I ever did”. He pulls Sky in to kiss him, once on the lips and once on the forehead, before holding him at arms length and whistling slowly. “I like the different earrings”. 

The different– Sky’s hands fly to his ears and, sure enough, he’s still wearing one feather earring and one sword. “Yeah,” he says, doing his best to sound casual and knowing he’s failing, “I wanted to try something new”.

Groose smiles down at him knowingly as Sun bursts into laughter. He can feel his cheeks reddening and desperately searches for a change in subject. “What about you?” he asks Groose, gesturing at his too tight plaid shirt. “You look like you’re about to burst out of that thing? Where did you even get–”

He cuts himself off and looks at the shirt again. “Wait. That’s my shirt.” He looks between them, baffled as Sun begins to grin and Groose looks sheepish and almost nervous. “Are you both wearing my clothes?”

“We thought it might be fun to match,” Groose admits, embarrassed. “You’re wearing our things”.

“It was Groose’s idea,” Sun nods enthusiastically. “And I told Wars to text us what you picked out. Did you really change your outfit six times?”

Warmth blazes through Sky’s chest as he looks at his partners. It’s such a fun idea and the sort of thing he would normally suggest. The sort of thing other people had teased him for in the past. They put so much effort into today and they did it all for him. His mouth opens and closes and he finds himself at a loss for what to say. What words could possibly be enough?

Sky swallows the lump in his throat and beams at them as hard as he can. “I really love you guys, you know?”.

#ika's modern au #lu sky #lu wind #lu warriors #lu sun #lu groose #groozelink #you always seem to have so much fashion fun #drawing isn't really my thing #but i thought id try writing some

[ladykissingfish]

*at the hardware store*

Deidara: Okay; we’ve got the bleach, the rope, the duct tape, the burlap sack, the cement blocks … are we missing anything?

Itachi: We need to get something “normal” too. All of these things together look highly suspicious.

Deidara: Already thought of that, Uchiha, hm. I told Hidan to go get something else.

Hidan: I’m back, fuckers. Let’s get out of here.

Deidara: Hidan … really?

Hidan: What?!

Itachi: Do you feel that a giant teddy bear holding an “I Love You” heart conveys a normal situation here?

Hidan: It’s on sale, leftover from Valentine’s Day, you dicks. 

Deidara: There’s Valentine’s stuff in a hardware store, hm?

Hidan: Yeah; a whole section. All the chocolate is 75% off. But if this ain’t good enough, then —

Itachi: *sprints away*

Deidara and Hidan: shit

*the next day*

Kakuzu: What do you mean you didn’t buy the equipment for the job?! I gave you brats $200! Where did it go?!

Deidara: Well, um …

*Kisame walks through the room, carrying soiled-looking sheets*

Hidan: What the fuck? Did you shit the bed or something??

Kisame: No. I woke up this morning to Itachi going crazy in our bed with chocolates. He had three bags in the bed, and then I look under it and there’s at least a dozen more. It’s smeared all over these sheets, the floor, his hair, just, everywhere. Where in the world did he get so much of it from?!

Kakuzu: *looks at Deidara and Hidan*

Deidara, whispering to Hidan: Can Kakuzu run fast?

Hidan: No, but his tentacles reach far. We’d better —

Deidara: *sprints out of room*

Hidan, as Kakuzu’s tentacles shoot out and grab his arms: … shit.

#brotp #hidan x deidara x itachi #🤍💛🍡 #naruto #the akatsuki #discount Valentine’s candy hits different #kakuzu #kisame hoshigaki #some Kisaita #kisame x itachi #itachi uchiha #deidara #hidan

[justzawe]

I’ve never seen a dumber fanbase. That picture looks nothing like where she is. She’s 100% in London. I can’t believe that people show you receipts and you still have the audacity to be so stupid. You google imaged Tokyo glass ceiling buildings and found this picture that looks nothing like the picture of her. But the London train station is exactly like that picture. Seriously buy some glasses. You are all sooooo stupid. And you prove yourself wrong every time. I can’t believe this fanbase. You should wear a burlap sack or a tinfoil hat.

Remember when trolls were creative and had a glint of whimsy? This bitch is just idiotic. Boooooooo

[disparition]

Still Life 1

I am at a cafe that I first started coming to in the late 90’s. Over half of my life ago. Dana Street Roasting Company in Mountain View, California. It has been decades since I could call myself a regular. I don’t know who anyone here is except for Nick, the owner, and no one here knows who I am - not even Nick, though maybe he once did, a little bit. When I started coming here, when I actually was a regular, the place was called Jumpin Java. Nick still owned it then, the name change came about when he bought a roaster and started selling beans. In the old days, everyone who worked here was a punk who had moved from Austin Texas or somewhere close by, the was a group of five or six of them. The main figure among them was a guy named Aaron who managed the place. He wore tattoos from Wilson’s Illuminatus! Trilogy, constantly played loud industrial music in the cafe, and led the Texas punks. If you were sitting outside and he came out and hung with you for five minutes while taking a smoke break it felt like a great privelege, like being chosen for something. Like most people I knew in Mountain View, he has long since left, first for Arizona, and now I believe he lives in Washington. It was a lively place, for a small boring town like Mountain View, often hard to get a seat unless you knew someone who’s table you could join, and there was a little stage with live jazz and folk bands playing from Thursdays to Sundays, three tables outside for smokers, and also a whole alley where people hung out. There were two other main cafes in Mountain View in those days - Red Rocks and Cuppa Joe’s - which also had decent crowds and live music on the weekends. Also two corporate cafes further up Castro Street, a Starbucks and a Peet’s, but I’m not counting those. Also a branch of a local bagel chain, a fake French bakery, two good pho places, a ramen place, several Indian restaurants with good lunch buffet deals - one of which, Sue’s, also featured a gallery of art by the owner. Also several good dim sum places, a handful of American style Chinese food places, a couple of bars I was too young to have much interest in, a large Chinese grocery store, an excellent taqueria called Los Charros (for the food, but also there was a bartender working there with a famous mustache), a hippy ice cream shop, a small Hong Kong style bakery with great pork rolls, and a number of acupuncture and herbal medecine shops. If you were to sit at a table outside the cafe and look towards Castro street, you’d see an herb shop, an attorney’s office, a small real estate office, and then on the corner there’s Easy Food Company, a Chinese convenience store that sold a wide range of imported goods from snack foods to liqueurs to statues, where I used to buy Parliament Lights for $2.50 a pack.

This town has been through many drastic changes. The above description applies to when I was in my late teens and early twenties. When I came to the downtown area as a young child, it was different, like it came from a different era. Appliance stores that looked like they were from the 50’s, wooden boardwalks on the sidewalks, a weird fake “old west” vibe. But I didn’t spend much time here as a child so I don’t know much more about it beyond that superficial impression.

Now it is over two decades later since the time I describe in the first paragraph. The three tables are still here outside the cafe, and I’m sitting at one of them. But the inside is a jumble of upside down chairs, plastic milk crates, burlap sacks of coffee beans and burlap sacks of burlap sacks. There is nowhere to sit, no music playing, no schedule of upcoming live bands, and nowhere for any bands to play or set up anyway. But the outside part of the cafe is unchanged, and when I look towards Castro street I see the herb shop, the attorney’s office, the real estate place, and Easy Food Company, which still sells a wide range of imported Chinese goods from snack foods to liqueurs to statues and they probably still sell Parliament Lights too, though I’ve long since quit and I doubt they are $2.50 a pack.

Beyond Easy Food, Castro Street itself, is where the most drastic change has occurred. The most obvious change of course is due to the pandemic. Once busy with cars, the street has been blocked off up at California Ave all the way down to the train station, which means about five blocks of it are pedestrian only, and the restaurants and cafes have spilled out into the street. This happened back in 2020, and a number of neighborhing towns did the same. Some of those, like Palo Alto, have reversed course and opened their downtown areas back up to traffic. But in Mountain View this seems to be a more permanent situation, and personally I think it’s a drastic improvement. On evenings and weekends Castro street fills up with families eating at the many restaurants that now have tables in the middle of the street and there are musicians performing on street corners. But if you come here on a weekday morning there are few people around and the lack of cars provides a peaceful atmosphere.

The other massive change is due to the growth of the tech industry, but this is a change that has occurred in waves, again and again, over the course of my life. The phrase “Silicon Valley” is often used in the media and discourse as a shorthand term for the computer/internet/technology business regardless of location, but also Silicon Valley is a physical place, it’s the Santa Clara Valley, and Mountain View is very much in the heart of it. The growth of this industry brings influxes of people - people from all over, but mainly from other parts of the US, from China, and from India and other South Asian countries. My own family came from Massachusetts in the early 80’s. This was of course several decades before Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc. came into being. The main tech companies in those days were Sun, Hewlett-Packard, Apple still a fledgling but very quickly growing. In those days it felt more concentrated down in San Jose, Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, towns where you’d see these huge corporate “office parks”. By the time I left for college there was another “tech boom” with a different suite of companies, this time around the internet. The age of Yahoo, Hotmail, Geocities, the personal web page, the AltaVista search. I wasn’t in the Bay Area at the time, and what I heard was that it changed a lot and then changed back. It was a bubble that burst. But it was to be one of several. There was another, later growth of the industry around a new set of internet companies - the ones we are dealing with now. Google in particular probably had more of an effect on Mountain View than most, when they set up a massive campus here. Now as I write this, any random person I see on the street in this town or a neighboring town has a good chance of either being an employee of one of those massive tech companies, or of being someone who was recently laid off by one of them.

In terms of this town, and my place in it, the change is both bad and good. The inequality gap has grown wider, and personally there is no way I could afford to live here now, unless my fortunes were to drastically change. I only come to this area a few times a year, when visiting my wife’s family, who are the only people I still know in this part of the Bay. All of the wonderful types of food that I describe in the first paragraph are here, and more, if not the exact same places. Los Charros is now called La Espuala, but the menu is the same, even if the guy with the mustache no longer works there. There are many good Indian restaurants, though they no longer offer cheap lunch buffets. Red Rocks, one of the other independent cafes, is also still around and even has an open mic night once a week, and more places to sit than Dana Street - but their coffee just isn’t as good. Some of the places are the same - one of the pho places that I used to go to on lunch breaks when I was a telemarketer is still here, and still looks the same. A lot of the other places are essentially just more expensive or “prestige branded” versions of the places that were here before, and there are a lot more of them, and even if I can’t afford to live here I can at least, sometimes, afford eating here, and in fact after I finish writing here I’m going to go to the Hong Kong bakery to get a pork roll.

During the time while I was writing this, someone came and joined me at the table to do some work on a laptop. After some time they mentioned that they “used to come here a long time ago” and I thought it was so odd that I was writing about the exact same subject, and wondered if this was someone I used to know. But further conversation revealed that by “a long time ago” they meant 2012, while I was thinking of the previous century.

If you’ve read all this, for whatever reason: this isn’t a story or a polemic. There’s no point to it. Just writing for the sake of writing, background without a foreground.

#mountain view #california #still life #background #writing #bay area

[lexa-griffins]

Lexa helps dilf Clarke take Madi trick or treating around the neighborhood

Madi is slowly approaching the age where trick or treating stops being "cool" and to be honest Clarke is dreading it. She's her little girl, her baby and Clarke is not ready for her to get older.

For now though Madi is excited to buy a costume and decorate the house for halloween. Niylah was a big Halloween nerd and Madi inherited that love for the holiday from her. Scary movies and trick or treating were always a big thing even when Madi was tiny and Clarke has made sure to keep that tradition alive. And now that Lexa is in their lives, Clarke would like to include her in this little tradition.

At first, Clarke feels almost silly asking Lexa if she wants to join them. They've been dating for a little over a year now and yes Clarke does already have a ring in mind to propose but Lexa is still young, she might want to go to a party or out with friends, not stroll around the neighborhood with Clarke and her kid. She should've known better because the moment she asks, Lexa lights up and immediately agrees.

Madi is also excited for Lexa to come too and then join them for the traditional horror movie where they eat all the candy she got (living in a good neighborhood means Madi gets the good full sized candy so its a damn feast). Her friends will join her, and they think Lexa is really cool. She's Madi's pretty, starbucks buying step mom and, if anything, she's made Madi seem even cooler. Clarke and Lexa are the designated adults for the evening as they walk behind the group of pre teens, all way too excited about their scary costumes (Lexa found an book about old halloween costumes from the 20s and 30s and Madi looks bone chilling in what might be the simplest yet scariest costume Clarke had gotten her. Niylah would be so proud).

Lexa hasnt really enjoyed halloween since she was a kid, by Madi's age she had already stopped tricking or treating and did nothing for halloween despite adoring the holiday. And seeing Madi and her friends giggle and have fun, seeing the younger kids' adorable costumes as they go around with her parents is a treat for her (and giving her some baby fever, dont tell Clarke, they havent really talked about kids yet).

"Im sorry if this isn't all that exciting."

"Dont be sorry love, its such a nice night anf I enjoy seeing the costumes and the decorations the neighbors put out. And I didnt want you to get stuck watching the kids alone."

"Actually. Gracie's dad was supposed to accompany them but I volunteered. Madi's getting to that age where things are becoming lame - cringe, I think that's what she calls them - and I just want to enjoy these moments with her before she becomes a teenager and even me breathing embarrasses her."

"You're a good mom, Clarke. And Madi loves you, she would never be embarrassed of you."

"Easy for you to say, you're the cool step-mom! I'm just boring ol' mom"

Lexa will giggle and kiss her cheek, "you'll never be boring to me love"

Every few houses Madi will run to them and give them some candy to eat, even if its just because she doesn't like them, reaching into her bag which is a burlap sac and producing the candy with a smile

"coconut for mom and dark chocolate for Lexa"

before being called over and giving them a "gotta go!" and running ahead with the rest of the group, stopping for a minute when she sees a younger kid in tears as they walk down the driveway of the house she was just in, the candy Madi got and the kid didnt now over. Its her favorite. And yet she'll kneel down in from of the little kid, no older than five, and offer them the candy.

Its sweet and somewhat heart breaking to see the way Clarke stares at her little girl, the pride she has in her and the good person she is becoming and at the same time the slight sadness of a mother watching her daughter grow into a woman.

Once home, Madi will run to ger her pajamas on, the skelwton onesie her grandparents got her before she gets comfy on the couch, head on Lexa's lap and her legs thrown over her mom's. She'll jump and scream at the tv and laugh when Lexa or Clarke do the same, sometimes entertaining herself with unwrapping a piece of candy when she knows she doesn't want to see what's happening on the screen.

Lexa as long since decided she loves Clarke and Madi and that they are her family now. But moments like these where she is included in the simple celebrations and traditions truly just cememts it for her they are her forever 🥹

#letter opened #au: dilf!clarke #🥹🤲 oh my loves #such a simple thing but something that just says 'hey youre family' :'))))))

[scifrey]

NINE-TENTHS

Part Six

I get all of the gear flicked on, checking water levels and pulling the wands out of the sanitizer, then grind the first pot for the perc. As the espresso machine chugs its way to wakefulness, I peer into garbage cans and inspect tables. The till is all counted out neatly, with a post-it note reminding me to buy a roll of quarters stuck to the crisp purple stack of tens. 

Obviously Min-soo closed last night, ‘cause she always kills it.

In the dark kitchen, I crank the industrial oven up as high as it will go to pre-warm, scoop dough from the huge bowl Min-soo made last night onto trays, and climb the ladder to dump a burlap sack of fresh beans into the massive stainless steel bean roaster in pride of place in the corner of the kitchen. 

In my back pocket, my phone starts playing a punk version of You're the Cream in My Coffee. Shit. That's my alarm to start the second batch of scones. Dammit. I don't have time to let the oven preheat properly. I shove the tray in.

Then it’s back out to the front, where he is sitting primly in his corner, eyes on his newspaper. 

Yeah, I'm a basic bitch and prefer coffee that's more sugar and froth than bean juice, but there’s something so good about fresh-brewed black coffee first thing in the morning. That's art in its own right, my loves. I interrupt the drip machine to pour myself a mug, and I take one selfish minute to revel in a perfect sip.

But what is usually a soft symphony of my mornings is instead a self-inflicted agony. The plink of coffee into the carafe, the hiss of the espresso machine, the hum and clunk of the bean-roster in action, all punctuated by the crisp rustle of his newspaper? Agony.

A year ago, I would use this quiet time to work on my thesis. Before that, it would have been an essay, or a lab, or something else I’d procrastinated. Now, I have nothing to work on. Nothing to do but this. Nowhere to go but here. No career, no demand, no drive, just… 

Me. 

And him. 

And the stretching, hissing, clunking, dripping silence. 

 "Ugh, get your ass in gear, you embarrassment," I mutter to myself.

"Beg pardon?" he asks, voice raised politely.

Shit. 

"I said, uh, the espresso machine is warmed up. Caffe tobio?" 

"Please." He crosses his legs. There's a flash of turquoise at his ankle. I only catch it for a second, but it looks like he's wearing socks with cartoon dragons on them. Huh, okay… that’s more playful than I expected him to be. 

"Coming right up."

"I appreciate it. And you are well?" he says, which is the longest string of words I've ever heard out of him. Shame.

"Yeah." I turn to the machine, tapping out a careful twenty-seven seconds with the toe of my chucks, timing as the espresso fills the demitasse. So I'm completely in my head, and totally not expecting it when his voice comes from somewhere much too close, just over my left shoulder. 

"Oversleeping could be the sympto—" 

"Gah!" I shout, and Christ no, the wand in my hand goes flying up, up, sprinkling boiling-hot grounds like freaking pixie dust. 

He ducks and snaps the newspaper over his head as they rain down. The sharp clatter of the wand hitting the tile makes us both wince. We stare across the counter at one another, eyes wide, with what I assume are matching shocked expressions.

"Are you—" he starts again and I hold out a hand to stop him. 

"I'm fine." 

"I've never known you to—" 

"Shit, you're chatty today," Maybe that came out cattier than it should have. He flinches, stung. A glob of espresso grounds plops off his shoulder and splats on the tile floor. "Sorry, sorry! That came out wrong. I'm not… I'm not having a good morning." 

"My apologies," he murmurs mournfully, and aw, no. 

"I'll make you another one," I say quickly. "On the house. Just… sit, and I'll—" 

"Perhaps I should go." He lowers his paper and flicks grounds off the toe of his shoe. Oh, shit, are they expensive? Am I going to have to pay for, I dunno, shoe dry cleaning? 

"No, please." That lurch in my stomach again, and it's only because a morning that has started terribly (and has only gotten worse) would really become awful if he wasn’t sitting in the sunlight, glimmering and reading.

It would be just wrong.

"If you are ill, you ought to be taking care of yourself first. Don't you have a colleague who could cover—" 

"I got a new alarm clock, I didn't wake up, it’s fine, it doesn’t matter."

"It does to me." He crunches the ruined paper in his hands, flexing and twisting. "In fact, I, er, perhaps it is time I confessed that… I smell something burning." 

"You smell burning?" I swig another mouthful of coffee from the mug I'd left by the till, and take a deep breath to calm myself. Wait. "I smell it, too." 

His eyes flick to the door behind me, slit pupils dilating. "The kitchen." 

"The scones!" I squawk and spin on the spot. I slip in spilled espresso, toppling sideways. Before I can hit the ground, he lunges across the countertop, catching my arm in a grip that's stronger than I think he realizes. It also prickles. 

Trying to get my stupid feet under me, I catch the barest flash of red scale and black, long-tipped nails. Then his hand is back to perfectly pale peach, fussily manicured, and human. 

I shrug him off and push through the door. I shouldn't have gasped, that was a stupid thing to do when the air is heavy with smoke. But I do, and jerk to a stop, folding double, coughing. He runs into me. I nearly topple. That prickling grip pulls me upright again. 

"What can I do to—" he starts, but the fire alarm cuts him off.

"I forgot to turn down the goddamn oven!" 

"I'll get it." He reaches out with his free hand. It's covered in deep red scales, his fingertips ending in delicately curved claws. 

Holy crap.

He's dexterous, able to work the knob, then swing down the oven door. Black smoke, oily with burning fats, cascades into our faces. I cover my mouth and nose with the edge of my Henley, eyes burning. 

"Oven mitts!" I warn. 

"Not necessary!" He's got the tray balanced in his claws. "Where should I—?" 

And that's when the fire suppression system kicks in. 

It lets out a sharp, high whistle that startles him so badly the claws of the hand holding my arm spasm. They go right through my shirt and into flesh. 

I holler. 

Five things happen at once. 

First, he drops the tray of scones. It clatters off the tile, sending burnt pucks of dough into the air. One smacks into my leg, and two pelt him as we dance away. 

Second, he yanks his claws out of my arm, blood on the tips, and freaking hell, it stings. 

Third, white foam pours from the pipes that ring the kitchen ceiling, coating every surface in a bitter-tasting cloud. Including us.

Fourth, the guy makes a sort of gurgling belch noise, then a sharp bony click accompanied by a spark that looks exactly like the kind you get from a lighter. 

Fifth, he spits fire. 

Right into the corner. Where the giant custom bean roaster is. The drum is perforated, and the beans inside it immediately go up in flames. They're so hot they burn blue. The steel drum starts to goddamn melt.

"Coc y gath," he gasps in horror, dithering on the spot.

"Holy shit," I say, clamping my hand down over the punctures in my arm.

"I'm terribly sorry!" he shouts over the sound of the alarm and the hiss of the foam deflating around us. "I didn't mean to—I was startled!" 

The urgency of the situation suddenly hits home, fire crawling up the wall toward the ceiling, and I scream: "Put it out!" 

"What do you want me to do? Suck it back up?" he shouts back, all his cool calm evaporating in the heat of the inferno. "I'm a dragon, not a fire extinguisher!" 

Well. 

Fuck this meet-cute straight to hell, then.

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#Coffee Sho pRomance #RomCom #Queer RomCom #Friends To Lovers #sunshine and grumpy #Secret Royalty #Fantasy #Contemporary Fantasy #Dragons #Dragon Romance #Mutual Pining #Two Halves Of A Whole Idiot #Meet Ugly #Meet Cute #Meet Awkward #Romantasy #romantasy books #romantasy booktok #romantasy reads #lgbtqa+ #queer romance #gay romance books #boys love #bi romance books #queer romance books #bisexual pride #wattpad #wattpad romance #wattpad reads #tbr

[pandorasboxofhorrors]

2023-#4: Response to “The Thing in the Fog”

My last written bit for 2023 was going to be a neat sci-fi continuing the Mekon’s story (see 2020-#4: Eight Ball to Corner Pocket and 2021: #3-A Relaxing Interlude). However, the best plans of mice and men usually end with human skeletons and fat mice. I heard from another Tumblr user responding to this year’s true Halloween tale, 2023: #2-The Thing in the Fog. This Tumblr user shared a strange and spooky story, best told in his words:

“The online posting you referenced involving Burlap Man’s disappearance was not accurate. I know this because I wrote it thirty years ago. Here is a more accurate account of what really happened.

“If you happen to have been in Chicago in the summer of 1995 and you frequented the Lakeview neighborhood, you might have stumbled across an urban legend. This urban legend was real and was a horror beyond imagination, as Lovecraft put it. I had retired in 1991 after a hectic career as a newspaper reporter. It was the bad economy of the early 1990s, and that I was past retirement age, which sent me into retirement. I had worked as a newspaper reporter in many cities - and for an extended time in Chicago. I seemed to be cursed to regularly be assigned stories that led to the occult, cryptids, or worse. These stories led me to the things people do not want to know about. In the early 1970s, I was called back from vacation to work on a news story involving murders with the victim’s blood drained. You can probably guess where that went.

“I had a good run as a reporter in Chicago, but that ended after a story about an underground storage company. I sort of stumbled upon “something” in the lower levels of a very deep facility. I barely escaped with my life. Unfortunately, some government bigwigs were involved with the storage company, and I found myself out of a job because lizard-brained bigwigs wanted the story silenced. After I retired, I returned to Chicago and tried to avoid anything off kilter. Luckily I had some money, from investments in a robotics tech company I investigated in the 1970s. I was physically in good shape, and I really did not look my age. I sure looked like I was in my 50’s - but certainly not 73. I should mention that I was born in 1922, so I guess I am sort of 101 now. There has been no diminishment and very little aging. I have had to lie about my age for years. The only explanation I have is I once walked into a magic circle of a “youth drainer” and interrupted her spell. It’s either that or my vitamin brand is right.

“Anyways, the only problem was that I was restless. So I took retail jobs in eclectic shops in Lakeview. I worked with some odd people with blue hair and random body piercings. It was interesting, and I did not fit in since I was older. I used to walk down Clark Street after work and often buy a cigar. I eventually ended up working for the cigar store for the social interaction, since it was either that or chess with Ron, an old coworker. It kept me occupied, and after a few months I heard about something that caught my interest.

“I heard about this Burlap Man, and he was known to be lurking in the area at night. He was described as being just as you described him, almost seven feet tall and four feet wide. He wore stitched burlap sacks over his entire body and head, but you could see his beard. Some people said when they saw him at night he was so terrifying that they were paralyzed in fright. So I prolonged my walks after work, and after about a week I saw him in a dark alley. I could not believe what I was looking at since it very much appeared like something from a previous story I worked on decades ago.

“Twenty years previously, I worked on a news story about a man permanently asleep being studied at a Chicago university. This man was intentionally dream deprived, and this somehow allowed him to physically manifest a deadly Cajun boogeyman out of his own nightmares that dwelled in the sewers of Chicago. I returned to this same university and learned that they were performing a similar sleep study, with another dream deprived permanently asleep man. The difference this time was that the sleeper was not Cajun: the dreamer was just dreaming up a real life boogeyman. This new boogeyman was a lot smarter than Pere Malfait, its Cajun counterpart.

“This dreamt up boogeyman understood its existence, and it knew it needed to be free of its dreamer and have an independent existence. To that aim, it found victims late at night, removed them back to its lair with the broken shopping cart, and devoured them to make its body more of matter of this world. My online account was accurate in that I followed him back to his lair, but it sure was not a SUV. When he took off the burlap sack he was not a muscular man underneath; his body was only partially formed. About a third of his body was composed of black shadow, the rest was forming new flesh from what he consumed. There was a beard, but no eyes. He saw me and I soon found myself unable to walk, frozen in place. This boogeyman exhibited psionic ability. He could induce paralyzing fear or make people ignore him, which he did to the police when you encountered him. I am not new to facing such horrors, and I took out a small crossbow I have had ready for decades which was blessed to slay rakshashas, and I have given it a lot of use. I figured that the dreamer had summoned up the boogeyman, and his weakness was known to be light and fire. Two burning crossbow bolts to the chest did not harm him, and he was very close to me by then. I fired a last bolt at a shadow section of his arm that was not solid matter, and he immediately let out a terrible moan and was dispelled like a ghost, with its shadowy ectoplasm melting away into nothing, the formed fleshy parts of his body hitting the ground. I made sure the fire left nothing.

“When this was over I posted that bit online you saw so it would be known that Burlap Man was gone in case anyone else was hunting him. I did not expect to still be here thirty years later. I am sending this to you now since we live in a time when outlandish things are commonplace, and no one will ever believe ever this. But I do recommend to any readers: never underestimate what can lurk in the shadows, if you can imagine it, it probably exists somewhere, or will exist someday, or exists right now and is watching you.”

CK, October 2023

#halloween #fiction #the night stalker #carl kolchak #kolchak the night stalker

[liaromancewriter]

Underneath the Tree

Premise: Cassie is in the mood to spread some Christmas cheer and her loved ones are happy to help.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine). Feat. Sienna Trinh, OH Gang, Max Valentine (OC) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Warnings: Brief references to minor character deaths and grief Words: 2.8K

A/N: This is for the Nonny who requested a Christmas in July fic. It’s a story that I originally wanted to write last December, but couldn’t find the inspiration to start. Now I did. It’s set during the Book 2 timeline and events referenced in this pic fic.

Cassie Valentine could feel frustration rising as she scanned the selection of trees in the farm outside of Boston proper. They had been here for almost an hour now and she had rejected most of the offerings. Too skinny, too tall, too short, too je ne sais quoi.

This was the Roomies’ first Christmas tree and nothing short of perfection would do. Aurora had borrowed decorations from her aunt; Kyra had sent a box of candy canes; Elijah’s parents had couriered over customized Christmas ornaments, one for each of them.

Now all they needed was a tree to match the vision in her head. She didn’t remember it being this hard before when she and Jack would buy one for their apartment.

“I swear to god, scout,” Max grumbled after she completed another circle of the section that they were in. “If you don’t pick a tree in the next five minutes, I’m leaving you here to make your own way back.”

Cassie shot her twin brother an arched look and then sniffed before turning her back on him and hunching her shoulders.

“Nice try,” he scoffed. “That didn’t work when we were kids, and it doesn’t work now. Just ‘cause you can’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not here.”

Giving him the cold shoulder, she continued to ignore him and walked over to check out a group of six-feet tall Douglas firs in the far corner.

“You know there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas tree, right?” he continued talking in a whiny tone, determined to annoy her as only a brother could. “They all look the same and are just going to end up in a wood recycling shed at the end of the season, blown to smithereens.”

Cassie’s shocked gasp was as loud as it was dramatic. She swiveled to face him with accusation in her eyes and placed her hands on either side of the nearest tree as if covering a child’s ears.

“Don’t listen to the mean man,” she crooned to the tree. “You’re going to tree heaven where you can play with your friends and eat all the mulch you want.”

Recognizing how ridiculous she looked and sounded, Cassie burst out laughing, hugging the tree. Grinning, Max shook his ahead before he too was bent over with laughter.

“You’re such a jerk,” she said, swallowing her laughter when they started to attract weird looks from the other tree shoppers.

He just smiled, unoffended. “It’s frigging cold, sis. Can you please, pretty please with a cherry on top, pick a tree already so we can get out of here?”

Cassie made a face but didn’t argue. She stared at the tree she’d been hugging, tapping her gloved index finger against her lips, green eyes narrowing in consideration. The longer she looked at it the more she could visualize it in the corner of the living room in their apartment.

“This one,” she said definitively. “Final answer.”

Max went to get the owner and twenty minutes later they had the tree covered in burlap and tied to the top of the SUV. By the time they got back on the highway, Cassie had the volume cranked up and was belting out Christmas songs at the top of her lungs, much to her brother’s dismay.

They got lucky with parking as another vehicle pulled out right in front of her building. They climbed out of the car and Max stepped on to the running board to untie the tree.

“Here, let me help.” Farley walked down the steps, leaving the building entrance propped open. “I’ve been keeping an eye out for you ever since Sienna texted to say you were on your way back.”

With Farley’s help, they managed to get the tree down in no time at all and up the steps of the building. When the elevator doors slid open on their floor, Cassie walked ahead to unlock the apartment door, stepping aside as the men carried the tree inside and set it against the kitchen wall.

“It’s lovely,” said Sienna excitedly, clapping her hands together.

“It’s covered in burlap, Si,” Max snorted, rolling his eyes. “You can’t even tell what it looks like yet.”

Sienna’s brown eyes snapped in annoyance and she very studiously ignored him. Instead, she turned to hand Farley a paper bag and a to-go cup. “Thank you, Farley! You’re the best. If you run out of cookies, I’ll have plenty more later today.”

Farley stammered out a thanks and blushed as he often did when Sienna turned on the charm. Soon, it was just the three of them and Max took the scissors Sienna handed him to cut away the burlap.

“It’s beautiful!” cried Sienna, throwing a defiant, steely-eyed gaze at Max as the full tree came into view.

Cassie agreed and shared a look with Sienna. “And I know just the place for it.”

They directed Max this way and that, changing their minds several times just for the heck of it, both still smarting over his wisecracks earlier. He must have guessed this was their way of getting back at him and wisely kept his mouth shut, doing whatever they asked without complaint until they felt that he’d been punished enough.

“What’d you do to piss off the dolphins, Valentine?” called out Jackie with a smirk. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, a coffee mug in her hand, watching him work.

Before Max could fire back a retort, Elijah wheeled himself into the living room. “Cool tree.”

The doorbell rang then and soon the apartment was full of people and Christmas music was blasting from the Bluetooth speakers on the coffee table. Of the Roomies, Aurora was still missing, but she’d texted to say she was on her way back.

Rafael handed Sienna a tin full of his grandmother’s brigadeiros while Bryce and Keiki set their contribution down on the dining table, a Chocolate Haupia Cream Pie from a Hawaiian bakery they’d discovered in Charlestown. 

Cassie lined a platter with the macarons she’d baked yesterday, grabbed two bottles of red wine from the kitchen counter and carried both items to the table.

Max had parked himself on the couch and was scrolling through his phone when Sienna sat down next to him. He looked over as she put a plate of his favorite cookies on the coffee table in front of him and handed him a mug of hot cocoa with extra whipped cream and marshmallows by way of apology. 

She felt bad about how she had given him a hard time about the tree when he’d been so generous about getting it for them in the first place.

Cassie knew she hadn’t been fair either and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled at both of them before biting into a cookie and closing his eyes as the flavors exploded on his tongue. “Hmm. Consider yourselves paid in full.”

Soon after, everyone gathered around the tree and planned how they would approach the tree trimming. Bryce and Jackie bickered over whether the tinsel went first or last, each convinced the other was wrong, while Cassie negotiated a compromise.

Raf and Elijah riffled through the motley collection of decorations, putting aside what they could use. Aurora walked in a few minutes later, holding a nondescript box in her hands which turned out to be a mish mash of ornaments and tangled fairy lights.

Sienna was back in the kitchen, showing Keiki how to decorate the sugar cookies she’d baked earlier. Max leaned over the kitchen island to steal cookies, laughing when Sienna slapped his hand away with a severe look. He retaliated by dipping his finger in a bowl of whipped cream and smearing it on the tip of her nose and then her cheeks.

Cassie glanced over when she heard Sienna yelp, a vague disquiet spreading as she observed the quiet intimacy between her brother and her bestie; how they leaned towards each other, teasing and laughing, and the ease with which Sienna smashed a hand full of whipped cream all over his face.

She knew they were friends but for the first time she wondered if that was all.

When Aurora called her over to help with untangling the lights, she put the thought away to revisit later.

The mood in the apartment was loud and cheerful as everyone got into decorating the tree with gusto while munching on cookies and snacks, crumbs falling on the floor to be swept away later along with the debris from the tree trimming.

The tree was almost fully decorated with only the tinsel and lights left when they decided to take a break. They descended on the dining table like conquering heroes, helping themselves to thick sandwiches, pasta salad, chocolate-covered fruits and marshmallows, Santa and reindeer shaped cookies, and other tasty offerings.

Cassie speared the last of the chocolate-covered strawberries off Max’s plate, smirking when he protested, and tried to hide her reaction when Sienna gave him one from her plate. But her twin knew her too well and he glanced over, quirking one eyebrow to ask if she was okay. She nodded and turned away when Keiki asked her if she could try the wine, just to see what it tasted like.

Cassie didn’t see the harm, telling a horrified Bryce it was perfectly acceptable in Europe and should be fine here too. Enthusiastic at first about being treated like a grown-up, Keiki quickly turned her nose in disgust at the smell and almost spit out the sip she’d taken before bravely swallowing it down with a shudder.

“So, I guess I don’t have to worry you’re going to raid the liquor cabinet,” teased Bryce as Keiki chugged down water to get rid of the taste.

“You don’t have a liquor cabinet,” the teenager retorted in that snarky way Cassie found endearing and she gave her a one-armed hug.

Half an hour later, they assembled in front of the tree again. Max reached for his messenger bag and took out a small flat box.

“I brought something for all of you,” he said, flipping the box open to reveal two small red bells with golden stamps, each with a trailing, red ribbon. “To hang on the tree, if you’re open to it.”

Sienna and the others look confused, but Cassie met Max’s gaze, tears gathering in her eyes as she recognized the meaning behind the bells.

“Bells, like the ones in It’s a Wonderful Life? According to the movie, every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings,” Raf said, taking one out of the box with a wide smile. “That was…” he stopped, sadness shading his face before he swallowed and continued. “Danny loved that movie. I remember he would watch it every holiday season with his family.”

Max nodded. “A friend of mine lost his father a couple of years ago and he told me about a tradition his family started at Christmas,” he said, taking the second bell out of the box and handing it to Sienna. “The idea is to close your eyes and listen to the ringing of the bells; their melody will remind you of all the good memories you have about the person you lost. I thought that you could hang them as ornaments on the tree, and ring them in remembrance of Danny and Bobby whenever you pass by the tree.”

Sienna continued to stare down at the bell in her hand, tears streaming unheeded down her cheeks. Cassie wrapped one arm around her and hugged her close. Eventually, Sienna pulled out of her embrace and resolutely stepped towards the tree. She looped the ribbon at the top of the bell around a branch and shook it lightly so that the twinkling melody of the bells rang out.

She turned towards Max and gave him a watery smile. “Thank you, Max. This was a very thoughtful gesture.”

He nodded solemnly, placing his hand atop hers and giving it a comforting squeeze.

One by one, the friends moved in, locking arms together and bowing their heads in memory of the friends and patients they had lost this year.

Determined to not let the evening end on a sad note, Cassie hip checked Jackie. “Are those tears in your eyes, Varma? Wow. Who knew Fuck It Varma was so sentimental over Christmas?”

Offended at the implication that she was soft, Jackie’s eyes snapped together as she shoved Cassie away. “Bite me, Valentine.”

“Girl on Girl action. Cool!” quipped Bryce making Aurora laugh and Keiki groan in embarrassment.

Suddenly the chirpy melody of “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” rang out from the speakers and Max sighed dramatically when Cassie jumped in excitement and glanced his way.

“No way, sis.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re on your own.”

She pouted and reached for Sienna’s hand instead, both of them getting into the bouncy rhythm, giggling and laughing the whole time as they crashed into Aurora before pulling her into their impromptu dance routine.

Once again the mood was jovial and merry and they finished decorating the tree with lights and tinsel until all that remained was the star.

They were debating, quite heatedly at times, which of them was tall enough to take on that feat or barring that strong enough to lift one of them when the doorbell rang. Leaving the friends to figure it out, Max went to check who was at door.

“Ethan!” Max stepped aside to let the other man in. “Cassie said you were going to be in Providence today with your dad.”

“I was,” said Ethan, unwrapping the scarf from around his neck before pulling off the thick winter coat as they stood facing each other in the hallway. “I told your sister I’d try to drop by if I could get away early.”

Ethan heard the raised voices and lifted an eyebrow. “Are they having fun or fighting?”

“Honestly, with this lot it seems to be a bit of both,” confessed Max with a grin.

Cassie stopped mid-sentence as soon as Ethan walked into view and then she was rushing towards him to launch herself into his arms, inhaling his unique scent. “Hi, you made it!”

He nodded and leaned down to brush his lips across hers. “You said it was important to you, right?”

“Yes, it was,” she smiled. “Your timing is impeccable as always, Dr. Ramsey. We need a really tall man.” She leaned back in his embrace, running her eyes over his body. “And I would say you qualify.”

Taking his hand, she led him back to the group who, well used to him being in Cassie’s life by now, nodded and called out greetings. Cassie handed him a red and gold star and when he looked at the glittery object in confusion, Sienna took pity on him.

“It goes at the top of the tree,” she pointed to where the ornament went.

Following her direction, Ethan stepped forward, trying not to upset the various ornaments hanging off branches, and raised his arm to place the star at the top of the tree.

“Amazing. He didn’t even have to stretch on his toes,” Bryce mused, clapping Ethan on the back, a bit too hard so that he almost fell into tree. Luckily Max pulled him back in time, otherwise Ethan would have likely faced some very angry residents.

“Let’s light this baby up,” exclaimed Cassie, clapping her hands together when Elijah flipped the switch for the fairy lights.

Everyone gazed up at the beautifully, and whimsically, decorated tree brightening up the apartment with holiday cheer. Phones came out to capture this memory, but otherwise they basked in the glow of the lights and each other’s company. 

Bryce hugged Keiki to his side while Rafael placed one hand on his shoulder in solidarity. Aurora, Elijah and Jackie held hands, connected as one unit.

Cassie leaned back against Ethan and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, kissing the side of her head before resting his chin on top of her sunny, blonde hair.

Sienna looped her arm through Max’s and they exchanged soft smiles. She mouthed ‘thank you’ and he nodded in acknowledgment. She leaned her head against his upper arm and watched the flickering lights as the bells twinkled lightly in the distance.

Cassie looked around the room at everyone she loved contentment such as she hadn’t felt in weeks rose to the surface. Despite everything that had happened this year, they were going to be okay. She was going to be okay. She had friends, she had family. She was blessed.

All Fics & Edits: @potionsprefect @trappedinfanfiction @bex-la-get @mysticalgalaxysstuff @genevievemd @choicesaddict5 @jerzwriter @rookiemartin @schnitzelbutterfingers @vi-writes-stuff @coffeeheartaddict2 @quixoticdreamer16 @dorisz @zahrachoices @lucy-268 @a-crepusculo @jamespotterthefirst @ofmischiefandmedicine @headoverheelsforramsey @takemyopenheart @gryffindordaughterofathena @queencarb @crazy-loca-blog @natureblooms24​

Ethan & Cassie only: @custaroonie @lady-calypso

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics​

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #sienna trinh #bryce lahela #jackie varma #open heart #open heart choices #playchoices #playchoices fanfics #open heart fanfics #open heart fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine #sienna trinh x max valentine #christmas in july

[xiv-wolfram]

Saw this on Twitter and thought it was cool, so I answered them for Wolfram. 😁

1. Favorite Vegetable - Cauliflower. Specifically roasted, fried, or in curries. 😋

2. How many blankets on bed? - One, which he will hog if it's cold.

3. Do they know how to set a table? - He worked at inns, so yes, but also that's really dependant on culture so he would probably adjust depending on where he was and ask questions if he didn't know.

4. If they had to dye their hair another color, what would it be? - Something unnatural - maybe teal or deep purple? But he prefers his natural black hair.

5. Generally how much would they tip at a restaurant? - As long as they didn't do anything majorly wrong? 20% minimum every time.

6. What gas station food do they buy for themselves? - Flaming Hot Cheetos and coconut water.

7. What gas station food do they buy for someone else? - Whatever they ask for? I bet Raubahn likes beef jerky.

8. Least Favorite Smell - Burning flesh, it's kind of a lesser trigger. 😅🥹

9. Is there something distinct about their teeth? - Other than the miracle that they're all still intact? No.

10. What pyramid scheme are they most likely to fall for? - None, he's naturally pretty suspicious of that kind of thing. If someone was begging on the street without needing the money he would definitely fall for that.

11. Favorite Soup - Chili (fight me!) 😈

12. Least Favorite Instrument - Does not exist, he loves music. Favorite is guitar.

13. They buy 5 things at the grocery store. What are they? - Chicken thighs, tomatoes, onions, chilis, garam masala.

14. What temperature so they keep their thermostat at? - IRL would be 69 (winter, laughing as he sets it), 72 (summer). Raubahn turns it up when he's not looking though. 😂

15. In what order do they get dressed? [socks, underwear, pants] - Underwear, shirt, pants, socks, jacket, weapons. ⚔️

16. Favorite Tree - 😏 After that NSFW shoot I have to say Palm trees...

17. Are they good at wrapping presents? - Does putting it in a cute bag count?

18. Do they have any food allergies, or the cilantro gene? - No allergies but he does suffer from the cilantro gene. 😔

19. How do they kiss? [Chaste, too much tongue.] - I guess he's a bit of a lip sucker/nibbler? Often giving forehead, neck, and shoulder kisses as well. Also why is this on the list? 😳

20. How do they handle an awkward moment in front of others? - Cracks a joke, trying to lighten the mood. It is often inappropriate and completely backfires. 😅

21. What is the gross habit they have but no one knows about? - Doesn't sweep up clipped nails. 🤷‍♀️

22. Would they be able to parallel park? - Yes, eventually, but a bit stressful so he avoids it.

23. What is a niche YouTube genre they would enjoy? [asmr, mukbang, etc] - He'd definatley be addicted to recipe videos. Notifications enabled for Epicurious. 👨‍🍳

24. If they were going to make fun of someone, what would it be for? - He's very sarcastic, so just about anything. He likes teasing Raubahn and knows how to make him blush so will often whisper things to him before he has to give a speech. Very amused watching his husband trying to collect his thoughts while addressing a crowd. 🤭

25. Favorite Swear Word - Fuck 👍

26. Least Favorite Book - He doesn't read much. Uh... I guess that old Mhachi tome he read to summon the voidsent that killed his family? 😅🥹

27. An aspect they do not like about their partner but love them anyway for? - Sometimes Rau talks down about himself, which Wolf hates to hear since he disagrees but tries to listen anyway so he can give him some words of affirmation after. 😌

28. Favorite Jewelry - RINGS. He wears multiple on each hand. Good thing he's not a pugilist like his mom was. 🤜

29. Least Favorite Texture/Fabric - That really scratch weaved wool. Also, burlap. 😬

30. If you could describe them only using kinds of fast food what would they be? - I don't know what this means... A burger and fries? 🍔🍟

OP: https://twitter.com/sanquines/status/1593356228100587520?t=0-jPd8c_VISsdXJP4wZxbg&s=19

#ffxiv oc #oc wolfram #ffxiv wol #wolqotd #wolbahn #WolframBlog

[izzy-b-hands]

"I'm gonna stab him," Jim mutters. "What are these for anyway?"

"Frenchie and Ed requested additional notions," Izzy sighs, a woven basket on one arm, already half full of fabric. "For the new crew uniforms and I'm not entirely sure what else. Not my place to ask."

"Why would any of that need to be a secret?"

"It isn't," Izzy replies.

"Then why is he treating it like one?"

"I know you don't want to be here," Izzy says. "If it helps, I don't want to be either. I hate these crowds. Fang's better with them, but do you think he'd let me send him instead?"

Jim smiles. "Wow."

"What?"

"Never thought I'd hear you complain about Ed like that."

They move to the next booth, covered in fabric and a few other crafts.

Including jewelry.

"Wish I knew where the fuck my money was," Jim says, staring down at the earrings. "I take it we're no longer salaried, since my funds disappeared from where I had them hidden."

"Previous to meeting Bonnet," Izzy says, absentmindedly tossing swatches and folded lengths of fabric into their basket. "Everything was kept in one place. You'd get your share of the last raid, and everything unallocated goes into a general fund."

"That's how we're paying for all this," Jim nods. "Cool. I guess."

"It was pointed out that one could see your and Frenchie's money was essentially like your cut of a raid and should be left to you both," Izzy continues. "But that opinion was voted out."

"Fuck," Jim scowls and starts to walk to the next booth. "I'll have to tell Fang thanks for sticking up for us."

"I suppose you will," Izzy calls out with what seems like hesitation. "Go on ahead. I'll meet you further down."

They walk on past yet another sewing and fabric booth, pretending not to think about the teal earring on the previous booth's counter.

They didn't need anything like that anyway. Surviving was the goal, not shopping and trying to match with Olu.

"He's not even here to see it," Jim scolds themself and passes the last merchant stall towards the beach. "You can wait till you find him."

They wander away from the main pathway onto the sand, finally dropping down onto it with a hiss. It's hot, but it almost feels nice on one's legs stretched out over it.

"Literally it's just fabric," Jim mutters after what feels like an hour passes. "How does it take this long?"

They flop back onto the sand and sigh. "I wonder what Ed would do if I ditched him."

"Me?" Izzy's boots push through the sand. "I don't know that he'd care all that much. But if you try to abandon him, right now?"

Izzy sits beside them, a few burlap sacks full of their shopping dropped at his other side. "I wouldn't. Were it me."

Jim waits for the command to get the fuck up amd get moving, but it doesn't come.

"Took a long time to track down the same color of fabric," they comment."It's all mostly black."

"It is, but there's differences in each shade. In the type of fabric. They asked for variety, so I did my best."

It occurs to Jim that this might be a moment Izzy would rather Ed not know about. This softer, tired voice and willingness to rest on the beach, watching the waves crash.

"Here," Izzy searches through one of the bags. "Don't tell Ed."

He motions for them to hold out their hand, and presses something into it.

A necklace, and an earring. Each with a small teal circular charm hanging off of them.

"He definitely didn't say we could buy something like this," Jim says, holding the jewelry as if it might burn them. "Izzy-"

"As if he doesn't use every stop as an excuse to buy new rings," Izzy interrupts. "Honestly, if you wear them and say nothing, he won't notice. He's got other things on his mind."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

The silence lingers for only a moment.

"I don't wanna make this any weirder," Jim continues. "But can you help get the necklace on? I don't want the charm sliding off-"

Izzy takes the necklace gently and moves to kneel behind them.

There's a moment of fear, hidden in the tension of their hand sitting on the handle of their knife.

But Izzy slips the necklace on and secures it without any attempt to garrote them.

"I don't know if you actually have a piercing," Izzy says awkwardly. "So the earring-"

"It's just been a bit since I wore one," Jim interrupts as they force the earring through the slightly grown over piercing in their left ear. "Hurts, but it still fits."

"We should head back," Izzy says, and stands from the sand with a groan. "There might be lunch leftover for us if we're lucky."

"Stew again?"

Izzy nods.

"Great," Jim mutters, and pulls themself up. "Or we could get something actually edible here."

They watch Izzy process it, the wheels nearly audibly turning.

"So long as we finish it before we get back," Izzy says. "That, or we get enough to share."

"May as well."

They make their way back towards the main path, sand shifting beneath their feet.

"And thanks," Jim continues, focusing on the horizon. "For the..."

"Would be hypocritical of me," Izzy shrugs, and gestures to the ring on the knot of his cravat. "To say you shouldn't want something that reminds you of someone else."

Jim lets Izzy get slightly ahead, and studies him.

As soon as they're back, this version of Izzy will almost definitely disappear. But now there's the question itching at the back of their head: is it because he wants it to, because he feels he has to, or because he doesn't know how else to be.

The situation at hand, frankly, sucks. But the experiment of finding out when and where Izzy lets himself relax is weirdly interesting.

That, and what might it take to convince that relaxed, sentimental, secret jewelry purchasing Izzy to help them get Olu back.

#text post #i actually had a specific little argument between jim and izzy that inspired this AND THEN IT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE FIC 😭 #it was a really silly one over the black fabric swatches being different shades of black #izzy arguing like look this one is more greyish while jim is like i know but literally does it even matter when we're grabbing basically #only black fabrics and leather???? which they aren't wrong about but Izzy isn't wrong either akdnfmngg #instead izzy 'sentimental bastard' hands couldn't help himself and we landed here instead (said w/love to Iz lol) #will he be sentimental enough to eventually be swayed into trying to help Jim find and retrieve Olu? #idk for now but probably yes if i end up writing abt that bit lol #long post