#which obviously i was like 14-20 years old like how would i know my parents are financially harming me then and like super denial | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haunted-xander · 5 months

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Hsr age headcanons except I also explain my reasonings bc I read everyones lore to get it more accurate.

(Also, a few things to note that will be relevant to my explainations: Some of these I'm not 100% certain of the age groups I put them in here, so some might not be as specific. Blade will be considered his age prior to being mara-struck for the sake of this post. Imbibitor Lunae is a stand in for Dan Feng.)

Let's begin, shall we?

Child (6-12)

Hook: I believe she's around 7-8. She's very obviously a kid, but I don't think she's like, a toddler or anything. She's smart enought to pull the clever little tricks she does, and has enough awareness to understand some harder topics (like Fersman's declining health and the reality of her birth parent's deaths).

Clara: I originally figured she was around 14 or so, but since one of her stories claim she's of similar age to Hook, and one of Hook's stories has her note Clara is a few years older than her, I think I'd put her around 11-12. Maaaaaybe 10, but that feels a bit too young for her.

Early to mid teens (13-17)

Arlan: Probably around 17 or so. We know he's younger than Asta, who met him when he was a kid and offered him a job for her family, and she also mentions that she took him in during her companion mission. Herta also says in her voice line about him that he's probably one of the "exceptionally gifted" kids Asta gave money to.

Lynx: She's much younger than Gepard and Serval, obviously, but she's also probably around the same age as Pela (who is confirmed to be 16) given how close they are and how they interact. Her companion mission also largely revolves around her trying to escape her older siblings protectiveness, which I feel is relatable to a lot of teens lol.

Late teen (18-19)

Silver Wolf: Tbh I don't have any solid justification for this, mostly just vibes. She's definitely younger than Kafka, but other than that I don't really have much to go off of. Probably 19, but I could see her maybe being early 20s too.

Guinaifen: I'm not completely sure about this one tbh. She's definitely a teenager, she says she's close to but not yet an adult to Bailu after we chase her and the Heliobus possessing her. She's also very close friends with Sushang, (who is confirmed to be around 16-17) so it makes sense for Gui to be a similar age too. The thing that's tripping me up is that one of her stories says she spent all her teenage years on the planet she lived on prior to coming to the Luofu, which would make her 19 at minimum. It could also just be exaggerating, or not counting 18 & 19 as teen years (that one seems unlikely though).

Young adult (20+)

Trailblazer: Well, obviously, Trailblazer is actually like a few months old at most seeing as we start the game by being "born" but, ya know. They're treated as an adult by everyone around them, not to mention they're clearly meant to be around the same age as March and Dan Heng, who are also depicted as adults (Dan Heng has been seen drinking in official art, for example). I think maybe like, around 20-22 would fit.

March: There's what I mentioned previously of course (being close in age to Trailblazer and Dan Heng), but the whole "girls like me/my age all like this and this" thing is a very typical mindset of late teens & very young adults. The way she talks about taking pictures of food in one of her stories also sound very much like how a young adult would explain it lolol. Like Trailblazer, probably around 20-22. Tbh I'm not sure how to explain my reasoning when basing it off of her behaviour without it sounding like I'm saying all girls her age do this, I'm not 😅 but it is common enough I feel like it adds to her feeling that age, ya know?

Asta: As mentioned with Arlan, we know she's notably older than him. I would say her position on the space station means she has a decent amount of life experience for her to do it so well, but this is Hoyoverse and anyone can do anything regardless of age, so that doesn't really work lol. That said, she clearly has had the position for a long time, so even if she wasn't an adult when she started, she definitely should be now. Probably around 23-24.

Bronya: She's been in the Silvermane Guards for long enough to be well-known and trusted for her skills, and with how easily she took up the position of Supreme Guardian, she has a lot of public faith and trust as well. She needs to have been serving for a good amount of years, to get all that. That said, I do think she started young, so I'd put her at around early-to-mid 20s. probably around 23-24 like Asta.

Seele: Canonicly around the same age as Bronya, so probably about 23-24 again.

Luka: Not much concrete to go off of, but he's probably around the same age as Seele given their interactions. He's also obviously an adult, or Hook would've dropped the 'honourary' part and just make him a proper Mole lolol. Around 23-24 again.

Topaz: In her voice line about Bronya she says they're around the same age. March also notes that she's pretty young for an executive, and her character stories explain that she started working for the IPC at a VERY young age. Probably around 23-24 yet again.

Adult (30+)

Sampo: He's a notorious scammer who's being doing his work in Belobog for a long enough time to become notorious, so him being in his 30s seems likely. I don't have any other reasoning besides that, really. probably around mid 30s, like 35-36 or something.

Himeko: She had already finished college when she found the express, so she was already an adult then. It's been many years since then, so she's definitely not some young 20-something year old lolol. probably mid-to-late 30s, like 37-38 or the like.

Gepard: Mid-to-late 30s. He's younger than Serval, so he's below 40 (not that I really thought he was middle-aged anyway) and he's probably older than Bronya, as in one of her stories he comforts her after the first death to happen under her leadership, clearly having already gotten used to it. Also, apparently he has a bachelor's degree? (According to the fandom wiki's trivia section). Anyway. Around 37-38 probably.

Luocha: I couldn't really find anything that indicates anything in particular, so I'm just gonna say he's mid 30s based off of vibes alone. Like 35-36 or something.

Kafka: Her age is only ever stated as "unknown" and, like Luocha, I couldn't find anything that indicates anything in particular. So I'm just gonna say she's mid-to-late 30s like Himeko and call it a day. 37-38.

Argenti: His character stories show a variety of different scenes throughout his journey as a Kmight of Beauty, so he has experienced a great deal. Mid 30s, probably. Like 35-36. I don't have much else to go off of.

Middle aged and beyond (40+)

Herta: We know she's like, really old. Like really really old. I don't know exactly HOW old, but old. I think she's still within a human lifespan though, so maybe like 70-80 or something. Physically speaking though, she herself states that her current puppet body looks "70% like I did as a child" so. Yeah. Baby grandma.

Natasha: She raised Seele and was the main caretaker at the orphanage she grew up in, so she ain't exactly young (despite what hyvs aversion to portraying older people properly will tell you). Probably late 40s to early 50s. 49-50 maybe.

Serval: Canonicaly the same age as Cocolia, who raised Bronya for most of her life. Bronya also recognizes Serval as Cocolia's old friend from when she was a child. Mid-to-late 40 probably. 45-46 maybe.

Blade: Yingxing is refered to as 'middle-aged' in-game at around the time it all went down, and he's shown with visible aging and with grayed hair (that is, assuming Blade's current black hair is his natural haircolor?). Probably late 40s, like 48-49 or something.

Canon age

Pela: 16, as stated by Lynx in her & Lynx's companion mission. People have pointed out that this is a plot hole due to other information we have about Pela, but 1) the only thing that goes against this is the claim she was a founding member of Serval's band, which I can 100% believe is either a mistranslation or a case of a writer not cross-referencing properly. (also, I don't remember where this is ever claimed in-game, so if anyone can point me to it I'd appreciate it.) And 2) her being a teen makes more sense with how she's written, imo, so I don't really care if it's actually a plot hole.

Sushang: One of her stories says she's "around 16 to 17 years old". Obviously, this isn't her REAL age since she's a Xianzhou native, but it is the age she is equivalent to for a short-life species.

Welt: 80+. He arrived in the hsr universe at the time of APHO, which takes place in 2025. Since Welt was born in 1947, this would make him 78. While we don't know exactly how long he's been here, he seems to have been here a quite a while, so, 80+ it is.

Long-life species

(equivalent to) Child (6-12)

Bailu: She's been described as a child many, many times, including by herself (multiple times). Although she's probably older than she looks, as both she and several others remark that she has trouble growing bigger for some unknown reason. I'd say maybe around 10-11.

(equivalent to) Early to mid teen (13-17)

Qingque: She reads to me like a 14 year old being forced to take up a summer job by her parents because 'you need to get experience so you can get a job easier when you're older!'. Actually I think that's literally what's going on except summer jobs don't exist on the Luofu so now she has a full-time job at 14 years old. Yeah I don't actually have anything else to go off of other than the level of control her parents have over her life.

Yanqing: His character stories say he is 1) not yet of age (so below 18) and 2) a teenager. Very simple. Not sure why people are arguing about his age so much when it literally says right there in the game that he is a teenage boy. Probably 15.

Huohuo: Honestly not much to go off of. Probably around 14, based solely on vibes.

(equivalent to) Young adult (20+)

Dan Heng: Depicted as a young adult of similar age to Trailblazer and March, as mentioned previously. Pretty simple. That said, I do want to note that one of Blade's stories describe him as a teen. But, based on the way it's written, this seems to be Blade's first encounter with him, so it's probably not accurate to Dan Heng's current age.

Tingyun: Her stories describe her as pretty young, but the way she carried herself and the sort of businesses she did makes me think she was at least 20. Like 20-21 probably.

Fu Xuan: Once again, not much concrete to go off of. Her stories give me the impression she joined the divination comission rather young, and I think she's been the master diviner for quite a while now. Maybe early 20s, like 22-23 or something.

(equivalent to) Adult (30+)

Dan Feng: We don't really know how old Dan Feng was when everything went down other than that he was older than Dan Heng is currently. I'd put him in mid 30s, solely on vibes. I mean, he got engaged and quite literally made a child, so I'd say 30 fits. Ignoring the fact neither of those things have much to do with his age at all. 34-35 maybe.

Hanya: Honestly I have no clue and her stories just confused me. She has the vibes of a 30-something year old so I put her here. My view on her age will probably change once Xueyi is out if only bc I might be able to figure Xueyi's age out better and Hanya would then be somewhere under that.

(equivalent to) Middle aged and beyond (40+)

Jing Yuan: Listen. He's seen shit. He has lived a long ass time. And it's canon he basically raised Yanqing, he's a dad ya'll. probably early-to-mid 40s, like 44-45 maybe. I don't know.

Yukong: She's old. Like actually old. Technically much younger than Jing Yuan, but since foxians lifespans are shorter than other long-life species, she's equivalent to a lot older than he is. She's 249 and foxians live up to 300. She's OLD. I'd say she's like 70 or something.

Jingliu: Also old. She's like, 2000 years old or something, she's a grandma. Probably equivalent to up to 80-something. Except she looks 30 bc Mara. And also long-life species don't actually age past a certain point, so she physically is not capable of looking above 30.

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cher-rei · 2 months

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afterglow- pt.7 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter is privileged with working alongside the liverpool fc marketing and public relations team, while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 4.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 8]

notes: it's the way that I've hinted at another fic in this chapter and then another one in chapter 8... I love interconnecting my series' ughhh

spamjam._. added to their story!

"here's one for you," jude spoke from his position on the hotel suite couch to gain your attention as you unpacked your things. "bro went from liking her posts to flying her over just for some moral support."

you rolled your eyes as he read out the tweets which he had been enjoying for the past ten minutes now. the way that twitter was rioting over the situation was utterly amusing— from your post on Instagram to jude stating that you were sharing a hotel room. they were having a blast by coming up with theories as to how this even came about.

yes, jude only happened to follow you on instragram at the beginning of the year but that was not the reason you knew each other at all. if it were then this situation would be very awkward. as he would say, "luckily for you, you had the privilege of knowing me before I became the equivalent to ryan gosling."

you wouldn't exactly call it a privilege but whatever made him sleep at night. funny enough, you two met at a football match when you were still in high school. it was strange to see a 17-year-old actively engage in conversation with some random 14-year-old just because he said she was screaming too much.

that wasn't the last of your accidental meetings, however, the next was a few weeks later when your parents invited some friends over from birmingham— and lo and behold who just happened to be the son of those friends.

so here you were at 20 and 23, closer than ever but keeping it as low-key as possible.

you proceeded to listen to jude comment on each tweet, each one funnier than the last. "I swear some of these people have got to be fbi trained." he shook his head and you hummed in response, nearly jumping up when jude yelled out in shock.

"listen to this one," he turned from his position on the couch to look at you in front of the bed. "in early 2023, jude followed jamie back on Instagram and 6 months later she got her job as liverpool's p.r manager. hours later after the announcement the entire squad followed her back, the first of them being trent. jamie and trent have been seen together a lot from then on and she's even tagged him in multiple of her Instagram stories. now what do we know about trent? he plays for england. who else plays for england? jude. where is jamie right now? in barcelona with jude."

you were left dumbfounded, jude staring at you with his eyes wide and obviously impressed. "well that's one way to connect the dots I guess." you shrugged your shoulders, "they're not wrong but they're not quite right either."

a scoff left jude's mouth and he got up from the couch to look out the ceiling-to-floor window looking out at the city. "trent's not the middleman here though. like dude you and I aren't dating so there's no need."

he was right, there was no need for a middleman. it was just pure coincidence but obviously people wouldn't think of it like that. "and I thank the lord for that every single day."

he pulled a face, "stop being dramatic. I'm not that bad and you know it."

you hummed out in debate, getting your things so you could go and shower. "I mean judging by your lack of female interaction--"

before you could finish a pillow was hurled straight at you causing you to yelp out, getting ready to days for the bathroom before he could throw another.

"I talk to woman!" he yelled out after you and you laughed a little louder than intended which prompted him to get another pillow.

"female reporters don't count jude!"

you slammed the bathroom door shut just as he threw the pillow again, a loud thud echoing through the room before it dropped to the floor along with jude's hands. he huffed out in frustration, complaining for a good few minutes before he came to a conclusion that made you double over in laughter.

"just for that, I'll be keeping my eye out for interns from now on! if I marry a reporter one day I'll make sure not to invite you just out spite!"

your first morning in barcelona consisted of nothing but peace. the view you woke up to was breathtaking, definitely the most beautiful sunrise you had ever seen. you took your time getting ready before breakfast and made sure to put together the best outfit you could manage seeing as it was rare that you got to wear summer attire.

jude shot you the most confused look to date when he saw your top. he hit you with the "woman stopped wearing corsets decades ago so I'm a bit confused as to why you're torturing yourself right now."

it took a bit to explain to him that you weren't suffering at all, but he still didn't understand and left it at that so the two of you could head to a restaurant for breakfast. every step you took your eye was caught by something more beautiful than the last, your heart strings tugging in the summer heat.

"I've made up my mind. I'm coming to visit you every three months."

jude didn't oppose the idea and instead encouraged it, saying that he needed a bit more company. everything was recorded, you had your phone out and your camera for double the footage, talking to the camera as you carried on with your day.

"do you really have to film everything?" jude asked from across your table at the outdoor seating area of the restaurant as you waited for your breakfast.

you made a sound at the back of your throat and continued to go through the footage you had so far. "unlike you, I have a social media presence and people enjoy the content that I put out okay?"

"uh huh." his eyes wandered over you silently until he was told to check your instagram story, and of course he reposted it being the absolutely amazing friend he was and not because he was in any way forced to do it...

spamjam._. added to their story!

"I don't think anyone understands how crazy it is to hear jude speak in spanish so casually." you turned your camera to look at jude opposite you, adorning an expression of offence.

you suppressed a smile. "this is the same boy who asked me if 'lethargic' was an actual word or if I made it up by the way."

that hit a nerve for him and he put down his fork, and pointed a finger at you while explaining the pointlessness of the word and just how stupid it was. "who uses the word lethargic jamie?" he raised his hands waiting for an answer.

your laugh could be heard behind the camera, obvious judgement in your tone as you teased him. "people who have a vocabulary level that exceeds year 6."

jude shot you an 'oh really look' clearly not buying your reasoning. "just say that you're tired," he grew a bit more defensive and you tried to speak over him but he continued on. "it's never that deep."

you laughed again, telling him that he literally just proved your point. you could feel the stares that you were getting from people passing by— just trying to enjoy their peaceful thursday morning without two idiots arguing about words.

the banter went on for a bit, the camera now set on the edge of the table so that both you and jude were in the frame, tension heightened as you debated. he shrugged his shoulders eventually, "lethargic is not that big of a word either. it's just unnecessary--"

your eyebrows raised, "--oh really?"

he nodded in confirmation, as to say that it was obvious and that he wasn't an idiot. so you did the only correct thing at the moment which brought a wave of nostalgia to wash over jude who couldn't help but laugh.

"spell lethargic then."

he hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were being serious. "go on then, prove me wrong." you urged him, and obviously, he took up the challenge because jude bellingham was not a quitter.

"L I--"

you cut him off with a proud smile, "wrong!"

"L A--"

"wrong!"

by now jude was dumbfounded, immediately reaching out for his cellphone to google the absurd word only to find out that it was spelt with an E. you hummed happily as he complained once again, saying that spelling it with an E didn't make any sense.

"jude victor william bellingham," you began with a smile and he shook his head. "one of real madrid and england's star players at the age of 20 yet he can't spell 'lethargic'."

the rest of the day played out smoothly— sightseeing, shopping till jude's entire backseat was covered in bags, a trip to the beach and using jude as your personal photographer and videographer. now that was what you called a vacation.

the last stop the two of you were going to make would be a small picnic to wrap up the evening seeing as jude would be at practice all-day tomorrow before the match later that evening. either way you wouldn't be alone because jobe would be flying down the morning, so you were more than excited to pick him up at the airport.

your picnic blanket was set down on the grass at a park, and once again the scenery had you gawking. the sunset was to die for, the atmosphere was chirpy yet peaceful and in all honesty if this was your last moment alive you wouldn't have any regrets.

you let out a content sigh, "if this is what being a wag is like then I might have to hit up victoria beckham for some pointers."

jude let out a laugh from beside you, watching silently as you pointed your vlog camera to the sky— moving it from side to side as you took in the scenery.

"I mean you have some good candidates, and you're already in the industry so it's just up to you." he nudged you on the shoulder. "make the move jamie."

a sigh escaped your lips at the fact that he was right. everything was played out in your favour and you needed to use it to your advantage. "I'll dm colwill when we get back to the hotel."

jude doubled over in laughter at your comment but you kept your attention on your camera, settling it down in front of the both of you. "he's younger than you."

you shrugged your shoulders to dismiss his note. "age is just a number or something."

that made you both smile but for two completely different reasons. jude found it funny whereas you were washed with an unfamiliar feeling, your mind flashing back to yours and trent's midnight mcdonald's run when he said the exact same thing.

that remembrance made you keep a mental note to call him later, just to see how things were holding up on that side.

the conversation picked up again when you shut off your camera. and of course, it took the emotional route at the hour of vulnerability. it hopped from family to work to comfortability in your respective situations in a matter of seconds.

it was nice for jude to have this time to talk about stuff like this, you knew he appreciated moments like this where he could express himself more freely without a language barrier or slight anxiety.

when he first left for madrid you remembered the five-hour conversation you had over the phone because he couldn't fall asleep, too unsure and unfamiliar with his surroundings to be able to settle in. with that, you made sure to check up on him daily before bed.

time zones didn't stop you and never would, especially with someone you considered family. jude and jobe were easily younger brothers to you— jude being the irritating younger brother who acted as if he were older than you and jobe being the sweet younger brother that needed constant affection.

you cared for them both dearly, making time to see each other whenever you could when you schedules were free.

"so you found the apartment?" jude asked and popped a grape into his mouth while he listened to you talk about your move out of your sister's house.

maya and noah were moving to london at the beginning of next year, which just so happened to be two months from now. which honestly was a great idea and you were super excited for them, but it was the househunting the was an issue for you because you were so picky.

you weren't too worried about the rent, the main issue was the interior so you took it upon yourself to do some drastic redecorating when you found one. and in four months it was ready, the only thing it was missing was you.

you nodded happily, "I can move in whenever I'm ready."

your answer made jude smile. be knew just how excited you were to finally move into a place of your own because all you'd been doing was saving up. "which is..."

"which is before christmas. and I have a little surprise on the way as well," you retorted in excitement but jude's thoughts immediately went to pregnancy and you could see it on his face, judging by how quickly his eyes dropped to your stomache.

the sun had fully set now, the air beginning to chill but not in a way that had you shivering, but in a way that made you feel relieved. basking in the atmosphere took your mind elsewhere, a glimmer of something in the back of your mind flashing.

your stomach dropped at the memory. one of the many that you've recently.

"we have to go to spain." the glee in your voice bounced off the walls of the bedroom, back to the bed where you and your boyfriend were lying.

he chuckled at your antics and the way that your grip tightened on his torso, his fingers lightly tracing your shoulder. "we'll go anywhere you like baby." he kissed the top of your head.

you looked up at him with doe eyes. "really?"

michael flashed an adoring smile, the same one that showed just how smitten he was for you. you felt a chill run down your spine at the touch of his fingers on your cheeks. "I'd do anything for you."

your throat stung at the memory, something that weighed so heavily on your chest. moments where you two promised to build a family together resurfaced, where you promised to always be there for each other, but this time accompanied by a bitter taste.

you'd accomplished so much these past few months and he wasn't there to witness it like he said he would. there weren't any flowers or handwritten cards with a hug that made you melt. you could still hear his voice sometimes and the way he would speak to you so gently.

at your graduation you could barely enjoy the moment because while being onstage you saw his face in the crowd, an unreadable expression and the words "I'm so proud of you, love" floating aimlessly through the air.

everything he ever said to you was now floating aimlessly through the air.

judebellingham

jobebellingham and 4 245 223 others liked this post

judebellingham had to go back to the hotel like thrice for her to get changed [tagged: spamjam._.]

see all comments below

jobebellingham please never take selfies again

→ spamjam._. agreed

→ judebellingham you're both walking to the stadium I don't care

vinijr ❤️🔥 [liked by judebellingham]

spamjam._.

liked by liverpoolfc and 2 345 234 others

spamjam._. 🌼

see all comments below

jobebellingham it's like you couldn't have waited for me before doing all this 😃

→ spamjam._. we're going to be together all week bro chill 🙄

liverpoolfc jamie come back, the kids miss you 🥲

→ spamjam._. they're lying

trentarnold66 you owe me a mcdonalds run when you get back [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. yes sir 🫡

Ibrahimakonate 🙊❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

curtisjr my gf says you're beautiful 🙄

→ spamjam._. gf?? curtis call me right now istg!!

levicolwill okay supermodel🙄❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. check your dm's

"there's my favourite boy!"

you had your arms spread for a hug as you watched jobe walk up to you with a sheepish smile. you could tell that he was a slight bit embarrassed, but gave in anyway and dropped his bags to embrace you.

he had grown a freakishly large amount since the last time you saw him— towering over you would be an understatement and it took every bit of you not to feel overwhelmed, but how could you when he was so freaken cute??

a shy chuckle came from jobe as you continued to hug him, your arms tightly wrapped around in torso. "you can carry on when we get back to the hotel, people have places to be."

that wasn't good enough of an excuse for you. "they can let me have my moment."

when you got back to the hotel, jude wasn't there as suspected but all your bags were already packed for tomorrow morning's early flight back to madrid. the rest of the day was spent just relaxing in the hotel room and catching up as usual because you didn't want to waste your energy and fall asleep half way into the first half of the match.

"I can't believe I'm about to watch barça and madrid play," jobe commented as he scrolled through his twitter feed.

you two were settled comfortably on the couch set with snacks and the t.v playing as background noise. when you didn't reply he looked up from his phone, only to see you glued to your own with a lopsided smile.

it was unlike you to ignore him, even if it were by accident so it raised some suspicion. he kicked your thigh in an attempt to gain your attention but it didn't work, your fingers typing away at the keyboard for whatever reason. he didn't want to be one of those brothers and take your phone right out of hand and see what had you so interested— that was jude's job.

so instead he resorted to kicking you over and over until you eventually got irritated and yelped out in pain. "jobe my leg," you groaned and began to rub your thigh that he'd been taking hits at.

when you looked at him again his expression had changed, his lips slightly parted in shock. you asked him what the issue was and all he could manage was a scoff of disbelief. there'd only been one other instance where he'd seen you act like this before, and he tried to forget it at most.

"who are you talking to?"

jobe wasn't one to pry and you knew that, and when he did it was out of genuine concern. you cleared your throat awkwardly. "just a friend."

his eyes narrowed at your answer, knowing he caught you. "you don't have friends." in no way did he mean to offend you by saying that, because it was true and as clear as day. he knew you too well, maybe you could hide things from jude for a bit but with jobe it was different because everything came out unintentionally.

a sigh of defeat escaped your mouth and you set your phone down on your lap. "this is a situation my friend is in right now. you're not going to ask any questions okay?"

jobe nodded his head eagerly and sat upright so he could pay more attention. and just like that, you found yourself lost in the explanation and you were sure you nearly namedropped at least thrice but jobe remained attentive and gave his word when needed.

"I mean if they aren't dating then there should be nothing wrong with you--"

you gave jobe a look and he immediately retracted his last word.

"your friend. your friend, not you," he corrected sheepishly and you nodded.

he thought the idea was dumb. you could've just said that you were talking about yourself and he wouldn't have bugged you... that much. "your friend isn't overstepping any boundaries by the sound of it. so she should just go with the flow--"

you couldn't believe that you were taking relationship advice from an 18-year-old right now. this was your lowest. "--whatever happens, happens."

whatever happens, happens.

his advice genuinely seemed to shift some gears in your mind, and you wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a bear hug. so that's exactly what you did. "have I ever told you how much I love you?"

the question made him stifle a laugh, the boy tightening his grip around your shoulders as you lay on top of him. "I want to say yes but no."

you slapped his arm jokingly. "you're my favourite brother too. but don't tell jude."

"how can I not??"

#footballer imagine #fanfic #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold fluff #footballer x you #liverpool fc #trent alexander arnold x reader #football imagine #liverpool x reader #trent alexander arnold fanfic #afterglow trent alexander arnold #jude bellingham #jobe bellingham #cherrei rambles #cherrei writes #writers on tumblr #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold

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fleshdyke · 6 days

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its honestly starting to feel like im never going to get hired. the job market in ontario is absolutely abysmal already and it's just extra bad in my area bc i live in the depths of the suburbs and there's exactly one place (a tims) within 3 kilometres of here that will hire random teenagers (so not family owned/specific required experience). and most of my neighborhood is around 14-20 years old so obviously all the kids of families who moved here when they were young/not yet born are looking for jobs and there is ONE tims for every single teenager in the neighborhood to apply to. there's only 3 more places within 6 km, and obviously no one wants to walk six fucking kilometres to work bc most of us can't drive and none of us have our own cars, everyone's parents are working, and no one has any way to get to work anywhere other than that one tims. and all the teenagers have school to go to so we're not available for the week, my school bus doesn't get me home until an hour after school ends and unless i get a job at that one tims i need at least an hour to walk to work, and no one wants to hire someone whose working hours are 5-11 and weekends. and the worst fucking part is that for a teenager im crazy overqualified and no one wants to fucking hire me. i have nearly 5 years of continuous volunteer experience (WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC), did a paper route for like four years, have several clubs and extracurriculars on my resume, and ive gotten two interviews. TWO. and one of them was only because my brother's girlfriend already works there (but that didn't even get me the job). like any minimum wage job that's hiring teenagers should be goint CRAZY trying to hire me bc what 17 year old has 5 years of volunteer experience???? and i get NOTHING. and like idk how to say this without sounding mean or whatever which is not what im trying to do at all but like half the ppl in my classes who have jobs i know for a fact dont have any experience in anything and are shitty workers and yet they get hired at exactly the same places i apply to!!! when im objectively a way more desirable employee!!! like im not saying i deserve the job more than them or anything but like i just genuinely do not understand why i'm not being hired. i was always told my whole life that extracurriculars and volunteering would look great on a resume and make everyone want to hire me but it's not fucking true. and i'm exhausting every option available to me. like genuinely i don't know if i'm EVER going to get a job at this rate. i dont really have a point here im just rambling but things are looking absolutely fucking bleak for teenagers rn.

#rambles #vent

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djnusagi · 3 months

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It is 2003. I am 4 years old. Every day I'm dropped off at the daycare center in the community college my dad attends. All my friends there are girls. We play dress up with a big milk crate full of clothes. I want to wear one of the dresses. I am told it's not allowed because I'm a boy. It is 2005. I am 6 years old. I make friends with a girl in my class. She is my best friend and we are together every day. One day she says she can't be my friend anymore because I am a boy and boys are gross and I'm weird. I don't want to be friends with any of the boys. They all bully me and hit me and pin me to the ground. But that's ok because that's just how boys play. I have no friends anymore. It is 2006. I am 7 years old. I stare at a woman in an advertisement in one of my mom's magazine. She is beautiful. I want to grow up to look like her. I realize I will not grow up to look like her and will instead grow up to look like my father. The thought fills me with fear. I go up to my room and cry. I draw a picture of myself as a girl. I go to sleep praying that I will wake up as a girl named Sarah, and that my life as a boy will slowly fade from my mind. I try to kill myself through strangulation in the school bathroom. I obviously fail but my attempt on my life is discovered anyway. My parents are furious that I would be so selfish. It is 2009. I am 10 years old. I have one friend. He hits me and calls me a faggot but he is nicer than any other boys at school. I am over at his house. His mother speaks on the phone about a gay man they knew who got something called a "sex change". I do not know what this means but it piques my interest. I desperately want to know more, but I know that it's taboo and wrong.

It is 2011. I am 12 years old. I discover what "transgender" means. I spend hours on the computer, looking at websites about Male to Female Transsexuals. I treat the transsexual roadmap like a bible. I want to transition right away. I tell my school counselor. She is supportive, but implores me to consider simply being a gay male crossdresser like her son. I do not want that. I want to be a girl. I tell my parents. They tell me I have been brainwashed. That I will never be allowed to transition and that if they catch me looking at websites about the matter I will be punished. It is 2012. I am 13 years old. A year of constant begging and pleading has convinced my parents to take me to a gender specialist. I think I will finally get puberty blockers, or maybe even estrogen. I am interrogated for hours by an adult about my sexuality, sexual desires, and whether or not I like women's clothing. I like boys and girls, which I tell her, but I do not have much in the way of sexual desires, because I am 13. She takes this as deceit. At one point she touches between my legs and rubs my genitals through my pants. I do not want this. But I will endure it for the privilege of being allowed to transition. In the end she tells me there is no way I can be trans, because I am attracted to girls and interested in anime, which is a "male interest". It is 2013. I am 14 years old. Every day I roleplay in chatrooms with strangers. I do not want them to be sexual but they quickly take on a sexual nature at the insistence of my rp partners. I have been doing this for a year now. This is the only place I can be a girl. I exchange skype info with a few of these people and begin chatting regularly. A man in his late 20s asks me to be his girlfriend. I accept. At least he sees me as a girl. It is 2014. I am 15 years old. I have begun growing scraggly hair all over my neck. I have been in a daze for weeks. I cannot focus. I feel detached from my body. I am like a zombie. My dad takes me into the bathroom and shows me how to shave. He pats me on the back and tells me I am a man now. I go into my bedroom and cry. Later on my parents discover the roleplaying and my boyfriend. My ipod and my laptop are confiscated and the door is taken off my bedroom. I am placed under strict monitoring and supervision. I try to kill myself. I wake up alive in a hospital bed. I am taken to a large building where I sleep on a cot and am watched by doctors. I don't remember a lot from this time period. I went home and watched evangelion for the first time.

It is 2016. I am 17 years old. The door is put back on my bedroom. I am given back my iPod and am allowed to take my laptop into my bedroom by myself. I stay inside every day watching pirated anime because it lets me forget about reality. It is 2018. I am 19 years old. I get my first smartphone and immediately download grindr. I hook up with strange men who hide me from their wives. Being fucked by them is the closest I get to feeling like a girl. I find out about a student at my community college who sells a variety of sedative pills. It is 2019. I am 20 years old. I am spending all my money on xanax, percocets, oxycotin and similar pills. I take them more and more often and in higher doses over time. I start coming to class high. I fall asleep in the hallways from time to time. This is the only way I can numb the constant ambient pain caused by my unaddressed gender dysphoria. It is 2020. I am 21 years old. The whole world is locked down. I am forced to stop taking pills and replace it with copious amounts of weed, which is now legal. I am no longer in school. I am high all the time. I can't sleep at night. I want to be a girl so badly. It is 2021. I am 22 years old. I will start school again in September. I have started hormone replacement therapy, but I know it is too late for me. My body is mangled beyond repair by years of drugs. I have taken to excessive caloric restrictions in order to lose weight. The hormones don't do much, but they help me sleep better. I am sober now. It is 2024. I am about to turn 25 in a month. I see an article headlined: "my trans kid experienced a joyful, anxiety-free girlhod - all thanks to puberty blockers". I want to cry but the tears won't come. I know that should have been me. But it wasn't. I will never be a girl. I will never be a woman. I will never be happy.

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snooziep · 10 months

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

Tagged by @her-pegship <3

1. Were you named after anyone? no, neither my sister nor i - not many women in my family but my parents just went with names they like. my mum had a family middle name (king - not double-barrelled with her surname, just middle name king so it stayed with her when she married) which she hated so didn’t give to us. i get why, but i do think it would have been kinda cool.

2. When was the last time you cried? listening to “my favorite murder” last night - it was a survivor story and those always get me. in fact it really doesn’t take much to make me cry - happy stuff, sad stuff, memes, donkeys, tv, sunsets, books, people being nice, gifs of ducks......

3. Do you have kids? no. i have kids in my life (niece and nephew and god-daughter etc) so best of both worlds - all the fun and not much responsibility

4. Do you use sarcasm? of COURSE not

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? height. not sure why! i am quite tall I guess and have been since i was quite young so maybe it became a thing in my head in those formative years. and it has no bearing on my opinion of them. it just somehow registers in my head whether they are taller or shorter than me. this has been exacerbated by zoom. i have colleagues i didn’t meet in the flesh for a couple of years and when i met them it was always “huh taller/shorter than i imagined”

6. What’s your eye colour? blue/grey/bloodshot

7. Scary movies or happy endings? a bit of both? scary then happy at the end? although i do love a good wtf ending. i read a lot stephen king in my teens so i like that “yeah happy ending.... wait... what? nnooOOOOOOO!”

8. Any special talents? I sing, and I have a knack for finding/tracking obscure facts and trivia. this is @her-pegship’s answer and oooh that’s me too!!

9. Where were you born? Nottingham, UK

10. What are your hobbies? jigsaws, tv/cinema/reading, singing in a choir, propagating succulents, fact forum on facebook (started on myspace - yes i am that old!)

11. Have any pets? i had rats for a while. loved them dearly but even they were too much responsibility haha. so for now it is plant babies.

12. What sports do/have you played? you wouldn’t know it if you met me now, but i played volleyball right through my 20s and i danced (ballet and tap) from 8 to around 30. but now it’s a big fat NO

13. How tall are you? 5 foot 8 (173cm)

14. Favorite subject at school? physics and chemistry

15. Dream job? i have worked in the civil service for 30 years and aim to retire in 2025 but i think i will get a little shop job. i did that in my 6th form and loved in - in a paper shop selling fags and sweets (and newspapers). that’ll suit me. tidying the shelves, chitchatting to folks. folding up my tabard at the end of my shift and heading home with weary feet but an relaxed brain.

tagging some folks but happy to hear from anyone (and obviously dont feel obliged!!!) @imsfire2 @letsby @ladyk23 @katsdisturbed @obishenshenobi @fishyandclintbarton @arms-and-arrows @dannybagpipesarecalling @sarabeth72 @keyrousse @iriel3000 @redsector-a @cakeisnotpie @taketheshot21 @hijirikaww

#meeeee #not done one of these in ages #personal stuff

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lucreziaq2001 · 4 months

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•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Mentions of unwanted teen pregnancy, the pregnant girl being scared to tell her parents about it, her boyfriend suggesting for her to have an abortion, with her refusing to, them choosing to get married, the girl being pretty insecure about her boyfriend's love for her, her sister being dead and her brother being in Vietnam to serve in the war.

•Sorry if JJ and Derek seem out of character here, but that's how I needed to make teenage them for this story.

•I obviously made up JJ's brother Ronald, who in 1968, was 20 years old and serving in the Vietnam War. I also slightly changed the spelling of her sister's name, because it was easier for me to write it like this. Her sister still committed suicide at the age of 17 like in "Criminal minds", though, when Jennifer was 11 and their brother was 14.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @rynwritesreid, @reidmeister, @justalesbianwithsomegayshit, @thatonewritersstuff, @marril96, @c-m-stuff, @criminal-addict.

Between their two hearts

Chapter 4: From teenage sweethearts to a family

When in the afternoon of January 22, 1968, Jennifer asked him to go see her and for it to be just the two of them at the meeting, at first Derek wasn't worried.

His girlfriend had always been a discreet and even a bit shy person, so it wasn't strange for her to want to see him in a place where they would have been alone.

So as a place to meet her in, Derek chose his car, the gift that his mother had given him the previous Christmas, which was currently parked outside the school both he and Jennifer attended.

When his girlfriend arrived and sat in the car next to him, without saying a word for almost a minute, however, the boy began to worry.

Many different ideas began to run through his mind about what Jennifer was about to tell him, but in the end, she said the last thing he would have ever expected to hear at only 17 years old.

"Almost all my clothes are starting not to fit anymore and I'm always nauseous" she told him, unable to look into his eyes "So two days ago, I went to the doctor and he told me that I'm pregnant".

"Maybe he was wrong and you're like this just because you've been eating too much lately" Derek responded with a chuckle.

A part of him was hoping for a mistake the doctor had made, while the other, the more rational one, knew that wasn't the case.

Jennifer was four months pregnant and starting to show.

She was expecting, there was no doubt about that.

"Derek, I'm scared" Jennifer confessed to him with tears in her eyes "My parents will kill me when they find out. With Rosalynn dead and Ronald in Vietnam, they certainly don't need me to give them more things to worry about".

"We only had sex once!" Derek exclaimed, as if to say that he never expected this to happen after just one intercourse.

"I know, and you told me this wouldn't have happened" the girl reproached him.

"That's because I was as careful as I could!" her boyfriend reiterated, since he had already said those words to her quite a few times before.

"What can I do now?" Jennifer asked him a few seconds later, finally looking up at him.

"Well, you could get an abortion" Derek suggested, after thinking for a couple of minutes "That way, no one will ever know anything".

He wasn't really sure he wanted Jennifer to abort their son or daughter, but at that moment, that seemed like the best solution to their problem.

"No! You know it's forbidden, and I would never do that to our baby!" the girl exclaimed, sounding pretty much horrified.

"Then maybe we should get married" Derek suggested, thinking that that would have been the right thing to do.

"Really? We've only been together for six months" his girlfriend asked, obviously not feeling 100% sure of that choice.

"Yes, but we get along very well" the boy replied.

That was definitely the truth, and for him, obviously second to their baby's arrival on the world, it was a more than good enough reason to marry his girlfriend.

"And what will you do about university next year?" Jennifer then questioned, also because she didn't really feel ready to leave her parents' house to move to the city where Derek wanted to attend college.

"I won't get in anyway!" he retorted "I don't think the college I want to go to would admit a black person yet".

"Getting married," Jennifer sighed with a daydreaming smile on her face "Do you really think we should do that?".

"Of course" Derek confirmed "That's what all couples do, after all".

"But do you really love me? Or would you marry me just for the baby?" the girl then asked him, expressing one of the insecurities he was actually used to by that time.

"Of course I do, Jennifer" her boyfriend replied, taking her hand and squeezing it, then placing his other hand on her belly "I love you so much".

Yes, they were only 17 years old, but they really loved each other and for their little boy or girl, they were definitely ready to go from being teenage sweethearts to becoming a family.

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parasite-core · 1 month

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253 characterization questions - Mau

This will probably be the last one I do for a while since this was an exercise to flesh out my most recent Pathfinder PCs

Part One: The Basics 1. What is your name? Mau Ornelos-Servos

2. Do you have any nicknames? If you do, who gave it to you and why? I do not. Not unless you include Donyoku calling me ‘kitty cat’, which I pointedly do not.

3. How old are you now? 26

4. When were you born? I do not know the exact day, I was too young when my parents died to remember.

5. Where do you call home now? Sandpoint, a charming little town I settled down in a number of years ago.

6. To what social class do you belong? Working class

7. What is your eye color? Yellow

8. What is your hair color? Dark brown

9. Do you have any distinguishing facial features? I’ve recently gained some claw scars on my face from…a rather unfortunate incident involving a haunted house and hallucinations caused by its haunts.

10. Do you have any birthmarks? Where are they? I do not.

11. Do you have any scars? How did you get them? See facial features above.

12. Do you have any tattoos or other markings? How and why did you get them? It is difficult to have a tattoo when you are covered in fur, unless you want me to get one in my ear or on my paw pads. Which I would not do because that sounds excruciating.

13. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? I am…rather ironically…allergic to cats. Actual cats, not catfolk.

14. Are you right or left handed? I was right handed, but have had to learn to maneuver my left hand equally well, as I have to use my cane in my right hand.

15. What does your voice sound like? Tired. I have been through too much lately and I can’t be bothered to pretend I’m not exhausted.

16. How do you dress most of the time? An orange coat with a nice yellow pattern on it. And a light armor underneath, given our recent ventures. I also need glasses.

17. How do you dress up? Well, in the dream casino I generally have a nice suit and a top hat. Which I think is rather fitting of me, so if I have to be dressed formally in the future I will likely take inspiration from that.

18. How do you dress down? A simple tunic without my coat.

19. What do you wear when you go to sleep? A simple dressing gown.

20. Do you wear any jewelry? Not really. I’ve taken to wearing some protective magical trinkets, but if I were not adventuring I don’t believe I would wear any of it. Jewelry mostly just gets in the way when I’m working on formulae.

21. What words and/or phrases do you use frequently? Do I use any particular words frequently? If I do I have not taken note of it. Except I get a certain pride in calling my mutagenic concoctions ‘Mewtagens”.

22. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Well obviously my body language isn’t quite the same as humanfolks’. My ears and tail are more of an indicator of my mood than facial expressions, which could be difficult for someone not well versed in Catfolk body language.

23. Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they and how do you plan to get rid of them? I suppose getting caught up counting random things would be considered a ‘bad habit’. I don’t see a problem with it—except that sometimes it takes my focus away from more important matters.

24. Do you have a lifelong dream or aspiration? I just want to live a nice quiet life while studying alchemy and working on some concoctions.

25. Do you own a car (or other form of transportation)? Why or why not? Describe it. I have a horse. Her name is Morrigan II. I cannot wait to introduce her to Morrigan the original, she’s going to hate it.

26. What is your current state of mind? Honestly? Stressed to the Hells and back. I have nearly died something like six times in the last week. That is almost one near-death-experience daily. It’s not good for my heart.

Part Two: Family 27. How close are you to your family? I love my family. I keep in contact with my mothers. I haven’t really seen Morri, Laila, or Keir since leaving home, but seeing as I may be going home soon I might at least see Laila.

28. Do you have a spouse or significant other? Describe them. I do not.

29. Have you started your own family? Describe them if you do. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? I have not. I am a bit of a recluse. I like my alone time. I’m more interested in working on my alchemy than in having a relationship or starting a family. That…sounds exhausting.

30. Who was your Father and what was he like? I don’t remember, he died when I was very young, and my brother Cailin didn’t like talking about our parents.

31. Who was your Mother and what was she like? My biological mother is the same as my father. But I was eventually adopted by my mother and ma. My mother is a graceful and smart woman. It was from her book collection that I first learned a bit about alchemy and herbalism. My mother was also former nobility. She absconded with some of her family’s fortune, to marry the woman she loved in a small village away from Korvosa, and she uses her wealth to help children in need as I and my siblings once were.

My ma is graceful in an entirely different way—she is a swordswoman and former adventurer. She taught myself and my siblings all we know about swordplay. She insisted that we needed to be able to keep ourselves safe once we left the nest.

32. Who are you closest to in your family? My mother and Morri. Mother has always been very supportive of my alchemical pursuits, and provided me with everything I needed to learn. Morri is one of my younger sisters. We can butt heads over things, but ultimately she’s someone I trust more than anyone else. Not that I would ever tell her as much. She knows.

33. Is there someone in your family you wish you were closer to? I wish I’d had the chance to be close to my biological brother. He was good to me when we were children, but we were separated when he was adopted and I was not. I was bitter towards him for a while as a child. But now I just wish he could see how much I’ve made of myself despite my physical ailments.

34. What was your parent’s marriage like? My mother and ma have what I’d consider a fairytale romance. An unhappy noble got swept off her feet by a charming traveler, and knowing that their romance would never be accepted by the nobility, they stole the part of the fortune they were owed and then disappeared into the night to live a simple life in a small village while also helping those less fortunate than themselves.

35. Did they remain married? If not, how did that affect you? When did they split? Yes, they are still married. I cannot imagine them ever splitting.

36. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? My biological brother was named Cailin. When I was a child and my leg first started giving me trouble, he was always there to support and protect me. Until he wasn’t. I haven’t seen him again since he was adopted. I have no idea where he might live or how I could ever track him down.

My adopted siblings are Morrigan, Laila, and Keir.

Morrigan is an aasimar who my parents adopted to protect her from the zealous priests and clerics of various temples, who would raise an aasimar as some sort of paragon of virtue and celestial values. Instead, she got to grow up to be a sword fighter with a penchant for healing and smiting in equal measure.

Laila is a drow who was abandoned on the surface by her people. She’s never said why she was left to fend for herself outside of the drows’ cavern homes, but it must have been bad. Laila is only my younger sister by technicality. Drows age so much slower than us, she was a teenager when I first came to live with my new family, and she is still a teenager now while myself, Keir, and Morri have grown up. She’s maybe a little wiser than your average teen, but for the most part she’s just like any other teenager.

Keir is a Stryx with a malformed wing, who was left for dead by his tribe as a result. Keir and I have something of a rivalry, maybe because we were the only boys in a house otherwise full of women. He and I always strive to outdo one another. But we also always have the other’s back if anyone else tries to screw with us. That goes for the girls, too. We had more than a few spats in which Keir and I worked together on principal against Morri and Laila.

37. What is the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? Laila hid my cane once when she was mad at me for some stupid little thing I don’t even remember. Morri pranked me with a cold water bucket over my bedroom door. My fur was soaked through. I got her back though. I put a sneezing powder I cooked up in her makeup powder. She was sneezing non-stop for the rest of the day. It was priceless.

38. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to one of your siblings? Nothing worse than pranks I knew they could handle. Like the sneezing powder story above.

39. When’s the last time you saw a member of your family? Where are they now? When I left Turtleback Ferry somewhere around five years ago. I still write to my mothers, and I get news about them and occasionally my siblings. Keir and Morri also left home to travel. I’m not entirely sure where they might be presently. Laila was still at home last I checked.

40. Did you meet any other family members? (Aunts Uncles, etc) Describe them. My mother is estranged from her family (stealing part of their fortune and all that), and ma doesn’t have any living relatives.

Part Three: Friends and Relationships with Others 41. In general, how do you treat other people that you have just met? I am generally cordial and try to give others the benefit of the doubt, although I am perhaps more suspicious of people’s motives than I like to let on.

42. Does your treatment of people change depending on how well you know them and if so how? It is inevitable that different facets of your personality will shine through with those you are close to. It becomes easier to admit fear to them, you trust them with more than a surface level understanding of your life. That is merely natural.

43. Who is the most important person in your life and why? It is hard to choose. My mothers made an enormous difference in my life. I would not be the man I am today or living the life I have without both of them. However I would hardly say I am not close to my siblings as well. Morri is perhaps the person I confide in the most. Keir and I have a sort of playful rivalry. And Laila is a fountain of wisdom despite her apparent young age.

44. Who is the person you respect the most and why? That would definitely be my mother. While I love my mother and ma equally, it is my mother who really shaped my worldview. It is also she who had the idea to begin adopting children in need, whom the system and society would otherwise fail. She has a deep sense of kindness, and a want to give back to the world for the privilege she has been fortunately enough to have. I think it’s a little bit to spite her family as well. Nobles are not known for their generosity, except perhaps on a superficial level.

45. Who are your friends? Describe them. For some time the only person I could have called a friend in Sandpoint was Ameiko Kaijitsu. She is one of the local tavern owners. A strong willed and good-hearted woman, who can make a brew that will knock most people on their asses.

However, I have recently made friends with a quite diverse group. Krysa, Tabot, and Nanel. Krysa is a ratfolk wizard, with a command over magic that is both delightful and terrifying. They are not what one usually expects when they hear ‘wizard’. While they are knowledgeable, they are also a force of chaos, bitingly blunt when they want to be, and rather promiscuous. Tabot is a rabbitfolk, and a paladin of Aroden. You did not read that incorrectly. They are somehow a holy warrior of a god who has been dead for a century. While I am skeptical that Aroden is somehow not dead after a hundred years of Iomedae claiming his domain, I also cannot deny that he has power from somewhere. He has saved my life on multiple occasions with this power, it is very real. But who or what he is drawing on—be it really a dead god revived, or some other force—I cannot say. Then there is Nanel. He is the only one I was passingly familiar with, as he was also a resident of Sandpoint. Nanel is…complicated. He had clearly lived a hard life. And he has a…being…sharing his body, who claims to care for him and protect him. I am very wary of this Donyoku. He is a parasitic creature, and any protection he offers Nanel is as self-serving as it is benevolent. I do not trust that Donyoku will not try to turn Nanel against us if our wants and needs ever clash with his. On the other hand, Donyoku has on at least one occasion saved my life, just as much as Krysa, Tabot, and Nanel have in other instances. I feel…conflicted about him. I do not trust his motives. But I can see why Nanel is so charmed by him.

46. Do you have a best friend? Describe them. I cannot say at the moment that I have any one person I would call my ‘best’ friend. Growing up that may have gone to Morri or Keir. Now that I am out on my own and have not seen them in a number of years? I am a very solitary person by nature.

47. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Well I turned to Krysa, Tabot, and Nanel when my home was burned and I needed help tracking down the culprets. My what a labyrinth of events, villains, and motives that choice uncovered. If I needed help again…it would depend on the context. My three companions have very unique skill sets, so I may turn to one in one situation, but another in a completely different event.

48. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who and why? All three of our merry band have protected me in some manner. Be it slaying a beast that had me fighting for my life, or using holy magic to cure a fatal disease, I am still here because of the acts of all three of them (I suppose, credit where credit is due, all four of them.)

49. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? My family certainly would, although they would never know if something happened to me or I just quit reaching out for some reason. That is…a very sad thought. I would hope that the others in our little menagerie would also miss me, at least a little. I would certainly miss any of them if they were slain or walked out of my life forever.

50. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? See, that is difficult. Because the person who has hurt me the most is whoever sent Nualia and the goblins to burn down my home. But I have no idea who that might be. It is…frustrating. I know that someone is either out for my life or trying to warn me away from being involved in the mysteries in Sandpoint. But I could not begin to fathom who it might be.

51. Do you tend to argue with people or avoid conflict? I do not typically find conflict productive. Finding a middle ground is more to the benefit of all involved than gnashing your teeth at each other and trying to be the one who is objectively ‘right’.

52. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Oh, no, not at all. That sounds horrible. I do not want everyone looking to me to make decisions. I prefer to do my work in peace (alone) and let what comes of it be how I help others. Leading the pack would be a waste of my talents elsewhere.

53. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No. Absolutely not. Going to the Swallowtail Festival was more because it was unavoidable than out of a love for crowds and loud celebrations. I prefer the comfort of quiet and a nice alchemy lab to work on my concoctions.

54. Do you care what others think of you? Not particularly. People may make whatever judgement calls they wish. I know who I am and where I stand in the world. Whether others see it or not is of little concern to me.

55. What habit do others have that annoys you the most? Being needlessly loud and argumentative. Passing judgement on others without all the facts, and stubbornly sticking with such judgements even if new evidence comes to light that conflicts with the initial judgement. Doing needless harm to those who do not deserve it.

56. What is the most important quality you look for in a friend? Loyalty, I should think. If you have no loyalty to those you claim to care for, then what good is that care?

57. What do you most value in your friends? Each of my recent friends bring something different to the table. I respect Krysa’s power and intelligence. I think Tabot is a bit young and naïve, but his idealism and decisiveness can be his strongest attribute just as much as it can be a flaw. Nanel is clearly very loyal to those he cares for, and as I said above I find loyalty to be one of the most important traits you can have amongst friends.

Part Four: Growing Up (Childhood) 58. Where were you born? Riddleport, I would assume. At the very least, that is where the orphanage my brother and I were left in was.

59. Where did you grow up? Riddleport during my young life, then Turtleback Ferry during my late childhood and teenage years.

60. How would you describe your childhood in general? It was a mixed bag. In the orphanage I was scared and bitter after my brother was adopted and I was left alone. I was as mad at my brother as I was these people who rejected me for being ‘defective’. Wrongfully, perhaps, but I was young and all I could see was that my only family and only friend had left me alone to fend for myself when I could barely hold my weight on one of my legs.

However, after my mothers adopted me, everything changed. I lived in a new, much smaller village. My mothers did everything to help me succeed despite my bad leg. They helped me learn to walk with a cane, they taught me how to brew a tea that helps with pain and inflammation. They were the first people to really show me kindness since my brother was taken. Not just kindness. Belief in me. Belief that I could succeed despite the things that tried to hold me back. Belief that I could be whatever I set my mind to, so long as I had the right tools. I don’t think even my brother believed in me, or had hope for my future. He protected me. He shielded me. But he never indicated that I could be anything more than a fragile creature who needed to be cared for.

61. What is your earliest memory? It's not a specific memory. I just remember pain. So much of my young life was pain because of my leg. And as a child I wouldn’t have known how to cope with it the way I do now.

62. What is your fondest childhood memory? I will give you two: one from the orphanage and one from afterwards. Since both parts of my childhood were so disparate. My best early memory was of my brother and I going to the docks to watch the ships. We didn’t like the water, of course. But my brother had aspirations of getting out of Riddle Port, and being something more than some unwanted child. I remember dreaming about running away on a ship with him, to some distant corner of Golarian. My other fondest memory is of the day my mothers started showing me how to properly use a cane. I had been suspicious of my new family when I was first taken in—I believed that no one could possibly want me without an ulterior motive. I was very much waiting for the other shoe to drop in the first weeks living with them. This was when they showed me that there was a tool that could help me, so that I could walk without leaning on someone else. So I could have the freedom to do and go where I wanted, with fewer limitations. It was a revelation, and a complete overturning of what I thought my life would be. I will forever be grateful to them for that.

63. What is your worst childhood memory? My brother being adopted when I was not. That was…crushing. I believed that the entire world was against me. No one could possibly care about me. I was just this defective thing with no future who was wasting everyone’s time, food, and air. I refused to die, out of stubbornness and spite more than anything.

64. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? At first I believed I’d be lucky to even live to adulthood, much less actually manage to make something of myself. Then the world opened up to me. For a short time there were a hundred different things I thought I wanted to be, just because I now could. Eventually, however, I found my passion for alchemy. And that never faded.

65. As a child, what were your favorite activities? When I was very young, I was just happy to be included in any game my brother and the other children played. Later, I found my own ways to amuse myself, now that I could do what I wanted. I explored the town and the wilderness just outside of it with Keir—never going too far, because there was always a threat of giant or ogre attack the farther you got from town. I also played at swordfighting with Morri. At first using sticks, and later our ma’s training sabers. I also read with Laila, sharing in fantastical journeys to strange and distant lands.

66. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I could be suspicious and willful. I had a lot of anger when I was young. But I’ve also always been endlessly curious. And as the bitterness fell away, it was replaced with joy, gratitude, and a bit of a mischievous streak I had never been able to indulge in before.

67. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? I was decidedly unpopular when I was in the orphanage. No one wanted to play with someone who couldn’t keep up during the games, or who constantly needed a shoulder to lean on. In Turtleback Ferry, I was a bit of an oddity, as the other kids had never seen a catfolk before. But I was an oddity in a good way, if there is such a thing. I was the kind of strange and different that made the other kids curious and excited to play together as opposed to how I was treated before.

68. As a child, what was your favorite toy? I liked toys that didn’t require a lot of movement to use. Stuffed dolls, wooden toy soldiers, and art supplies were my go-to, as opposed to things that required a game, and other children, and a lot of running around to use.

69. As a child, what was your favorite game to play? I didn’t like games very much when I was young. I would join in if my brother offered, because I desperately wanted to be included. But trying to keep up with the others kids was painful, and having to lean on my brother for support was humiliating. When I was a bit older, I still didn’t participate in many games that involved a lot of running. And Hide-and-seek is difficult when you have to hide a cane as well as yourself. But I got really good at prank wars between me and my siblings. And games that didn’t require too much strenuous movement were always wonderful to be introduced to.

Part Five: Growing Up (Teen/Young Adult) 70. How much schooling have you had? Once I was taken in, my mother insisted on handling my education. I was far behind, as there was hardly a consistent schooling program for foundlings, and even if there had been, I would likely have cut classes with my brother. That’s not to say I didn’t like learning—quite the contrary. But I wanted more than anything to fit in, and since my brother was more the sort to skip classes or entire school days to do something more fun, I would tag along behind him any time he offered to take me too.

My mother’s schooling focused on a mix of relevant life skills—including my first introduction to alchemy, when my mother was teaching me how certain herbs and tinctures could be used to help with my pain. My ma, on the other hand, focused on my physical education. She insisted that it was important in the world we live in to know how to defend one’s self. She taught us a variety of common weapons. Morri and I both took to sabers and similar blades.

71. Did you enjoy school? I enjoyed learning. Before I was adopted, though, school often meant sitting around in an uncomfortably crowded room, with lots of little distracting noises, being told to sit still and pay constant attention for hours at end. Even if I hadn’t frequently followed my brother skipping classes, I don’t believe I would have learned much in that environment.

72. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? My mothers, as discussed previously.

73. While growing up, did you have any role models other than your parents? Describe them. When I was young, I looked up to my brother. I thought he was the coolest and most amazing person in the world. That was shattered when he was taken and I was left behind.

74. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? As stated above, I adored my brother and always followed his example for the time we were together. Once I was adopted, I was a model child for my mothers. Except when I wasn’t. Keir and I had a few spats, usually over stupid things like who won a game or if one of us was a cheater, or over a toy we both wanted to play with. Morri and I generally got along, but we tried to one up the other’s pranks, doing some damage to the house or yard on a few occasions where we didn’t think things through (for example one time Morri accidentally released a rat into the house because she was trying to sneak it under my pillow. On another I accidentally ruined the wood floor by Morii’s door when I tried to splash a dye I’d made on her by dropping a bucket on her head).

75. How old were you when you went on your first date? Describe the date. I haven’t. I’ve never been interested. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been surrounded by humans and other non-beastfolk humanoids. Or maybe I would just rather not be bothered when I could be working on my alchemy instead.

76. What is your favorite memory from your teen years? The first time I made an alchemical concoction completely on my own, not following a recipe in a book or getting help from someone else. I was so proud of it. It was a fairly simple curative.

77. What is your worst memory from your teen years? Nothing sticks out as particularly horrible, after the much harder time I had when I was younger. The worst that happened to me were the usual teenage drama. Getting in trouble for doing something stupid, sneaking out and getting caught, the difficulties of having a social life as the novelty of my being a catfolk had long since worn off, and I was not particularly adept at the upkeep necessary to have close friends.

78. When and with whom was your first kiss? Never and no one.

79. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Correct.

80. Describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. The most obvious are my mothers, who taught me that I had the freedom to go out into the world and do as much as anyone else, so long as I had the support and tools to get me there. Keir also taught me, indirectly, that I should never accept less than others or make myself smaller just because I have a disability. Watching Morri taught me to be wary of those who might try to use me for their own gain, and to be my most authentic self even if it brushes against what others believe I ‘should’ be.

Part Six: Past Influences 81. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? The most life-changing event would, of course, be me being adopted. It completely changed the trajectory of my life.

82. Who has had the most influence on you? My mother.

83. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I’m rather proud of the creation of my Mewtagens.

84. What is your greatest regret? It's irrational. But I regret never looking for Cailin. Back when I was still in Riddleport, I didn’t have the physical or mental fortitude to go looking for a needle in a haystack. Assuming he was even still in Riddleport. And once I moved to Turtleback Ferry? I might have had the ability then, but he could have been anywhere in the world at that point.

85. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I would like to believe no actions I’ve ever taken was *evil*. The meanest thing I’ve done were probably some of my more vindictive pranks—that’s not to say my siblings didn’t give as much as they took though. It was never out of cruelty. Sometimes it was just for a laugh, to see how they would react. Sometimes it was because they’d gotten me, so I *had* to get them back.

86. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? No.

87. When was the time you were the most frightened? Probably that first night after my brother left. I had never been without him. I felt lost, or like I was trying to wade in the ocean with weights strapped to my legs.

88. What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? Morri covered my fur in honey once when I was sleeping (I think it was payback for the dye if I remember right). It wouldn’t wash out, so we had to shave it. Being furless for a while was humiliating. I’m pretty sure I got her back, but I don’t rightfully remember what I did anymore.

89. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I would have been less angry about my brother being taken. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t plan for someone to take a shine to him but reject me. For all I know he argued with them in favor of my coming, and got shot down. But at the time it had felt like the biggest betrayal of my life.

90. What is your best memory? Besides the good memories I have already recounted above, there was also when my ma gifted me my cane-sword. It was when I was planning on leaving home, following in Keir and Morri’s footsteps, to make my own way in life. Ma gave me the sword-cane, so I would always have a means to defend myself close at hand. It was her way of protecting me, even though I would be far from her. As always, providing me the tools I need to do things myself.

91. What is your worst memory? Besides Cailin being taken from the orphanage, probably when Keir left home. He was the eldest, and the first to want to find his place in the world. I…kind of backslid when he told us he was leaving. I couldn’t help but feel like it was Cailin all over again. That my brother was going to disappear into the aether, and I would never see him again, and my family would be a little smaller once again. I have since come to the realization that I can choose to keep in contact with my mothers, and through them my siblings. I will see Keir again, as I will see Morii and Laila as well.

92. When and where were you the happiest? Maybe not every moment after I was adopted, but certainly as a whole they were the best years of my life so far.

Part Seven: Beliefs and Opinions 93. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? I have chosen to be optimistic, although my initial instinct is often suspicion. I choose to push aside the suspicion and give people the benefit of the doubt, until they prove they don’t deserve it.

94. What is your greatest fear? I mean…dying, of course. Isn’t that the greatest fear of all living mortals? It is unavoidable, and keeps us moving forward and striving for greatness in the short time we have. But being judged in the Boneyard, not knowing where Pharasma will send you until she makes her decision…it’s a scary prospect. No one really knows how their deeds will weigh at the end of their lives, and the price of not balancing out the bad with the good is an eternity in Abbadon, Hell, or the Abyss—or worse, being fed to Groetus.

95. Have you told any one your fear before? Why would I? As I said, it is a natural fear. Why state the obvious, when it is the more base fear of all mortal-kind?

96. Who would be the one person you’d never tell your fear? I don’t know, someone trying to kill me?

97. What are your religious views? I am a follower of Shelyn, the goddess of art and beauty. The goddess of creativity. And what makes a good alchemist if not creativity? Shelyn’s domains are vital to the continued progress and works of wonder mortal-kind can produce.

98. What are your political views? I hate politics. They’re more often than not just puppet shows with the nobility pulling the strings. No guard in Korvosa would bat an eye if a hired killer were sent after my mother for “disgracing” her family name and “taking part of their fortune” (which was the portion that was rightfully hers anyways).

99. What are your views on sex? Other people seem to like it. It seems…kind of messy and like too much needless effort. There are other things I’d rather be doing with my time, and someone flirting with me while I am doing those things will only make me shut the entire things down even faster.

100. Are you able to kill? I’ve had to. Goblins attacked the town, hurting and killing people. Ghouls were committing ritualistic murders at the behest of a madwoman.

101. Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Self-defense, obviously. It shouldn’t be the goal of self-defense, but sometimes what happens happens. There’s a grey area where trying to prevent others from being hurt might or might not be acceptable, depending on how much evidence you have that the person in question is going to be hurting or killing others. If it’s merely a suspicion with nothing to back it up, it’s time to reevaluate rather than immediately spilling blood.

102. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Well, murder is pretty high up there. I think betraying a family member or close friend is up there too, though. Harming or killing someone who trusted you—someone who showed you their back because they trusted you to watch it, only for you to stab them in the back instead—is one of the greatest cruelties I can imagine.

103. Do you believe in the existence of soul males and/or true love? Not really? But I’m probably not the best person to ask about that.

104. What do you believe makes a successful life? I think each person’s success in life of failure is entirely up to their own perception. For me, that means having a quiet life creating things that can help people. For someone else, that might be training and becoming the best in their field. For someone else it may be the accrual of money. Or living up to the ideals of your god. People are variable. I might not agree with what someone believes success to be, but that does not mean they are not successful by some measure.

105. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? (Meaning do you hide your true self from others and in what way?) I am typically honest. Being deceptive and dancing around subjects really does nothing in the long run. Either people will find out what you are trying to hide, or you never confide in them and keep dancing around the subject or flat out lying forever. And I feel no need to hide who I am. I am exactly what you see.

106. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Obviously I try not to, but everyone does. I mean look at the fact that we killed all of the goblins in Thistletop. Was it vital in protecting the town from raids—or worse a demonic ‘goblin god’? Yes, absolutely. Was it a little hypocritical to go into their home and kill their people in retaliation for them doing it to us first? Arguably, yes. I don’t think we made the wrong choice. People were going to die either way, and they were going to awaken something horrible in the name of the Mother of Monsters. I think, hypocritical it may be, but it was a necessary action none-the-less.

107. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why? Well harming innocents is fairly high up on that list. Also abandoning or betraying people who care about me or are relying on me. The first is self-explanatory. The second, I think is also fairly obvious, given what I said earlier about betrayal being one of the cruelest things you can do to a person.

108. Who or what, if anything, would you die for? (or go to extremes for?) Well I have very nearly died for the people of Sandpoint and our weird little group about…six times now? Whether I particularly want to die fighting for them is an entirely different question. Preferably, only those trying to do harm would be the ones dying.

109. What is your best feature, in your opinion? My intellect.

110. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any types that people should never do? Why or why not? I do not personally use any drugs, although I know how many are made from my readings. The closest would be the various teas and tonics I make to help with my leg pain. As for which drugs people should or should not use…that is none of my business and I also couldn’t care less. If someone wants to take a drug that will make them hallucinate, or give them a dopamine high, or whatever, that is their choice. My decision to not take drugs is in no way an indicator of what other people should do. I do drink alcohol occasionally. I have a very high tolerance, as Ameiko can confirm from her latest concoction. However I usually prefer something with less of a kick. Honey mead is my personal poison, so to speak.

111. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Me, in a fully stocked alchemical lab, and no one bothering me for at least three days so I can just focus entirely on my work.

112. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being abandoned.

Part Eight: Likes and Dislikes 113. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? I enjoy reading (both scientific volumes and works of fiction), working on various alchemical experiments, and sketching in my journal or writing down ideas for new creations.

114. What is your most treasured possession? My cane-sword.

115. What is your favorite color? Why? As my dress may suggest, I am fond of warm colors. Orange, red, and yellow. I don’t have a particular reason, except I find them pleasant to look at.

116. What is your least favorite color? Why? You know the swampy brown-grey you inevitably get if you mix a bunch of random paints together with no regard for what the end result will look like? I don’t think there is a single pigment uglier.

117. What is your favorite food? Why? Fish in general. Tuna, mahi-mahi, swordfish, trout, salmon…oh, Ameiko’s curried salmon in particular.

118. What is your least favorite food? Why? I am not overly fond of strong citrus-y flavors. Or cilantro. It tastes like shoving a bar of soap in your mouth.

119. What is your favorite sound? Why? The small subtle noises of alchemy at work. The small crackling of an open flame. The bubbling of boiling liquid. The small clink of glass. It’s meditative to me, to be surrounded in silence only broken by these little things.

120. What is your least favorite sound? Why? Anything loud. Loud music, loud yelling, thunderstorms, doesn’t matter. I find them overwhelming.

121. What is your favorite smell/scent? Why? If you’ve ever been to the Rusty Dragon, you know that Ameiko’s cooking is objectively the best smell (and taste) in the world.

122. What is your least favorite smell/scent? Why? I mean the obvious things, spoiled milk, anything rotten or moldy, that kind of thing. But as above, I don’t like citrus-y smells. They are overpowering and sting my nose.

123. What, if anything, do you like to read? All sorts of things. Everything, if I had the time. History, fiction, scientific research, the works.

124. What is your idea of good entertainment? Krysa striking fear into people who deserve it, despite their tiny stature, is always amusing to watch. But as far as actual ‘entertainment’ made for such a purpose? A theatre production.

125. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? (answering for Golarian’s equivalent, Starday) The same way I spend every night, if given the choice. Curled up with an interesting book drinking some turmeric tea. With a nice warm fire going if it’s the colder months.

126. What makes you laugh? Things that are funny. Our little band have had a few amusing exploits. Before it turned out she was a serial killer, the way that Tabot handled Sheyliss when she was hitting on him was astounding. The way I couldn’t even tell if he knew she was coming on to him, and he just kept going about Aroden, and you could see the desire in her gaze just completely die.

127. What makes you laugh out loud, hysterically? I don’t tend to laugh that hard, to be honest. I’m not saying nothing could provoke me into raucous laughter. I’m just saying it would take something particularly and uniquely hilarious.

128. What makes you cry? Tragic stories.

129. What makes you cry, hysterically? I haven’t cried that hard since I was a child. The first few days after my brother was taken, I cried and cried. Eventually I ran out of tears, and that’s when the bitterness began to set in.

130. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Using alchemy—or any science really—as a means to exploit or harm others, as opposed to using that knowledge for the betterment of society.

131. What would you do if you couldn’t sleep and had to find something to amuse yourself? Stay up late reading. Which is a dangerous game—that ‘one more page’ cycle will get you and you’ll stay up intil the sun is rising and mister awaits that day.

132. How do you deal with stress? Sequester myself. Breath. Think about alchemical formulas. Breath some more.

133. Are you spontaneous or do you always need to have a plan? I strongly prefer planning ahead. There is a time and a place for the spontaneous, of course. But a good plan, or even just a framework, can make all the difference.

134. What are your pet peeves? I feel as though I already answered something to this effect? People being loud to the point of rudeness, and people with no loyalty for the people they surround themselves with.

135. Where do you go when you’re angry or depressed? Well I used to go to my alchemy lab in my home. When I had one.

136. What do you do when you’re bored? There’s generally something amusing to do if you look. Or there’s always taking a cat-nap.

137. What type of music do you like? Favorite bands or musicians? Hm. We don’t really have much in the way of bards in Sandpoint now that you mention it. I have a song, I don’t quite remember where I heard it. Maybe it was some of the sailors on the docks when my brother and I would go there. It certainly has that kind of beat that sea chanties tend to.

138-141 were too modern to be answered by Mau in any meaningful way.

142. What is your favorite stage play? Why? There is a play about a young prince meeting the ghost of his father, who bids him to avenge his death at the hands of the prince’s uncle. It’s a tragedy, as the prince spirals and causes the deaths of virtually the entire cast—himself, his love interest, and his uncle included. It’s by a rather famous playwright I believe. The elven playwright Siliram Whakespeare, I think?

143. What is your least favorite stage play? Why? It would have to be The Trials of Larazod. I only read the script once in a book of Chelish operas, but it was absolutely horrific. And to my understanding, they don’t use special effects for the majority of it. People fighting their way through summoned devils, carnivorous worms, and being dumped in acid hardly make a play. More like a torture relay.

144. What is your favorite book? Why? Oh, I have read so many books. On so many subjects and so many genres, trying to choose one favorite is impossible, as many are so far apart in subject manner and style that comparing them is virtually impossible.

145. What is your least favorite book? Why? The same can be said about my least favorite book. I have read such a variety of books, I’ve inevitable come across some rather horrifically written examples in virtually every genre.

146-148 are about television and are not relevant to Mau’s lived experience.

149. What annoys you more than anything else? Loud noises. Especially at night or when I’m trying to work.

150. What time of day is your favorite? Why? Dusk. That quiet time, when it’s not quite time to sleep, but that time is nearing and everything is quiet.

151. What time of day is your least favorite? Why? Why would I have a least favorite time of day?

152. What kind of weather is your favorite? Why? A nice warm spring day. Not too hot, not too cold. Flowers and herbs beginning to return from the long winter.

153. What kind of weather is your least favorite? Why? Rain or snow. Anything that will end with me having sopping wet fur.

154. What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? Have you ever seen the way you can light up a room using colored liquids in glass containers, set out on a windowsill—or anywhere that will have direct sunlight. The colors are splashed across the room like an aurora.

155. What is the most awful thing you have ever seen? We’ve seen some pretty horrible things. A disembodied monster head with bat wings, that can infect others by ripping out a part of who you are, making them almost certainly destined to become a new one of those creatures. A woman fighting against Lamashtu’s influence severing her own demonic arm. A young woman who allowed herself to be turned into a ghoul in revenge against a simple heartbreak.

156. What is your favorite drink? Why? Honey mead. Because it is sweet and pleasant.

157. What is your least favorite drink? Why? I can’t say I’ve run into terribly many drinks I wouldn’t drink again. Most people are bowled over by Ameiko’s concoctions, but I have partaken in them a few times. To be fair, I put much less pleasant stuff down my throat when testing my alchemical formulae.

158. What is your favorite animal? Why? I am fond of reptiles, particularly snakes. Have you ever seen the alchemical symbol for immortality? It is a serpent biting its own tail.

159. What is your least favorite animal? Why? Opossums. I do not like the way they play dead and then hop back up.

160. What sorts of things embarrass you? Being the center of attention for anything I was not prepared for ahead of time.

Part Nine: Self Image 161. Describe a normal day for you. Before I lost my home, a normal day was waking up, eating a nice little breakfast, working on my alchemy, maybe going for a walk. If someone had a potion or tonic they had requested, I would work on that and deliver it to them on said walk. After lunch I would usually read or work on notes for new formulae ideas. Then I might see about creating some more concoctions. Then dinner, sometimes at the Rusty Dragon, and then a little more reading of a more leisurely nature before bed. Since my house burned down and I lost virtually all of my worldly possessions, I have had to find other ways to spend my time. During the day, my companions and I have frequently been chasing down clues about those who orchestrated the attack on Sandpoint, or recently helping Sheriff Hemlock with catching a serial killer. There a lot more travel and excitement currently. Not always a good kind of excitement.

162. How do you feel when your routine is disrupted? Disgruntled and stressed. I like to be able to follow my routine. This last month being nothing but my routine being utterly shattered has…not helped my mood any.

163. What is your greatest strength as a person? I am intelligent and have a strong sense of self.

164. What is your greatest weakness? Other than my obvious physical maladies? Socializing, making convincing arguments (or lying), anything that requires a strong grasp on intersocial relationships.

165. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I learned a long time ago that wishing a part of yourself away will only lead to resentment and misery. I am fine as I am.

166. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Very introverted.

167. Are you generally organized or messy? I am impeccably organized. How could one work with dangerous chemicals and not be? That would be a safety hazard.

168. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at. Alchemy, swordplay, and trivia

169. Name three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Socializing, providing comfort, anything vaguely romantic in nature

170. What are your reasons for being an adventurer or heroic? Are your real reasons different than the ones you tell other people in public? If so, detail both reasons. I am no hero. I am just a person who was at the wrong place at the right time. I am merely doing as much as I can with the skills I have. And trying not to die. Honestly, I just want to find out who ordered Nualia to burn down my house, and why. I’ll probably continue this path to the end, simply because some very dangerous things seem to be brewing. If it should come to pass, I think it would hardly be safe wherever I may go, much less for my family. I don’t want any of them getting hurt.

171. What three words best describe your personality? Intelligent, focused, and meticulous

172. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Why wouldn’t they simply use the same three words? They are an apt description.

173. What about you is heroic? As I said above, I would not consider myself heroic. So by that same logic, I do not find anything about myself heroic. I am merely doing what any good person with my skillset would.

174. Are you a better lead or follower? Why? Follower. I severely dislike being the center of attention. I severely dislike conflict management. I have no interest in people obeying my commands or whatever.

175. What is your responsibility to the world? Why? To the world? I do not owe the world as a whole anything. I will not even meet the majority of people in the world, much less do anything that affects them. To those I come in contact with? I owe them the benefit of the doubt, and helping in whatever way I can if they are in need and my skills can be of assistance.

176. What do you like about yourself? That I am intelligent and diligent.

177. What don’t you like about yourself? I try not to fixate on things I’ve historically disliked about myself. I am all of who I am, and fixating on hating some part of myself is foolish.

178. What do you find most relaxing? (not stress relief, but something that actually calms you down.) Working on a personal project, or having a nice cup of tea

179. What talent would you most like to have? Glass blowing would be useful, to make my own potion bottles instead of buying from the Glassworks.

Part Ten: Occupation & Finance 180. What is your occupation? (If you don’t have one, where does your money come from?) I am a local alchemist. People commission me to make particular tinctures, curatives, or other useful potions. A potion of bull’s strength, for example, is excellent for someone building a home or otherwise lugging around heavy materials.

181. Do you like your job? I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. I am happiest when I lose myself for hours working on my formulae.

182. What is your boss/employer like? He is me.

183. What are your co-workers like? I don’t have any, and thank goodness for that. I would not enjoy working constantly in the presence of others.

184. Do you get along with your co-workers? See above.

185. Which co-workers don’t you get along with and why? See above.

186. What is something you had to learn that you hated? People say knowledge is power. Knowledge is so much more than power. It is the key to understanding the world we live in. There is no knowledge that is useless. And so, I have always enjoyed learning anything and everything.

187. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why? I spend money on alchemical supplies and food, mostly. Sometimes books if I see something that really catches my interest.

188. If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money, what would you do with it? Rebuild my house, obviously.

Part Eleven: Drug & Alcohol 189. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If yes, why? Do you want to quit? I drink on occasion, but nothing more than that. Why? Because I enjoy unwinding occasionally, but prefer to mostly keep my head on me. A little alcohol is enough of a buzz for me in moderation.

190. How old were you when you had your first drink? Did you like it? Why or why not? I tried some beer in my teenage years. I did not like it.

191. How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like? I’ve never actually been drunk. It sounded unpleasant, so I always minded how much I drank.

192. Do you drink on a regular basis? Not like every day or anything, but a few times a week, sure.

193. What kind of alcohol do you prefer? Honey mead is my favorite. Certain wines are good. And I’m not above a shot of whiskey.

194. Have you ever tried any kind of “mood altering” substance? Which ones? Describe the experience. Not personally. I know how to make some of these “mood altering” substances. But I’ve never had much interest myself.

Part Twelve: Sex & Intimacy 195-210: we are skipping this section as it’s not relevant to him.

Part Thirteen: Morality

211. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? How horribly I thought of my brother when he first left. That bitterness was unfair to him, or even just the memory of him.

212. What one act in your past are you most proud of? I traveled from Turtleback Ferry to Korvosa, and then from Korvosa to Sandpoint, on my own. It was hardly an easy journey.

213. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won? Many more in the past month than in the rest of my life. I had a few spats with Kier, and Morri and I had a few swordfights (and one legitimate fight where she thoroughly trounced me). In the last month, though? We fought goblins, demons, ghouls, wild beasts, you name it. I came out barely surviving on more than a few occasions.

214. What do you feel most strongly about? People ought to do their best to actively make others’ lives better, not worse. Those who harm others, especially for petty reasons, deserve the scorn of those who surround them.

215. What do you pretend to feel strongly about, just to impress people? Do you think me a child? That sort of thing is sure to backfire. A false façade will inevitably fall away, and everyone will know the person in question to be too insecure to own up to their true beliefs.

216. What trait do you find most admirable and how often do you find it? Kindness is key. If everyone did their level best to show kindness, then many of the world’s problems would not exist. Alas, too many people are under the impression that they have to screw others over before they get cheated in turn.

217. Is there anything you think should not be incorporated into the media or arts? (i.e., sex, violence, etc). What and why or why not? Who am I to tell an artist what they can and cannot do with their artistic vision? Art can explore any subject, and sometimes those subjects might be dark or uncomfortable. It is up to the viewer to look away if the imagery upsets them.

218. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why or why not? I believe the future is hopeful, because it must be. If I did not see the potential for hope in dark times, then there would be nothing more to strive towards.

219. Do you think redemption is possible? Why or why not? I certainly do. Sometimes when people are hurt, they lash out. Sometimes, when life is hard, people try to find an easy solution, even if it will hurt others. These people are not ‘evil’, merely hurt or desperate. Give them the tools they need to make their life better without doing more harm, and many would choose a good life.

220. Is there something you think is absolutely unforgivable? What is it? I think everything depends on context. Something may sound unforgivable with few details, but when you learn the situation surrounding the events, it might shine a different light on things.

221. Is it okay for men to cry? I should hope so, I wouldn’t claim to have never cried before.

222. Is it okay for you to cry? Yes, while I won’t claim I frequently do, I would not be ashamed if events transpired that caused me to.

223. What do you think is wrong with most people, overall? Many people think only of themselves. If they extended beyond the selfish, and truly saw that other people are equal to them and deserve the same treatment, there are so many woes that could be avoided or eliminated.

224. What is the worst thing you could ever do to someone you hated? I do not know. Hate is infrequent, to me. Anger, sure. But hate? It would take a lot for me to hate somebody.

225. Do you have feelings that disturb you? What and why? Not particularly. Having a variety of emotions is healthy—even the more negative ones.

226. On what occasions do you lie? When it is necessary. If choosing not to do so would bring more harm than good, I believe lying would be the correct choice.

227. Do you think it is okay to lie? See my answer above. I think it’s situational. Sometimes a lie is necessary. I don’t make a habit of lying—as I said before I prefer not to hide any of myself—but I also will not feel guilty if a lie was necessary for the greater good.

Part Fourteen: Supernatural Awareness

228-234 are not relevant to Mau’s life, as he has no supernatural abilities and never went through a specific training regimen, except training with his ma.

Part Fifteen: Goals and Future 235. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? At the moment, I just want to find out why my house was burned down, and who was behind it. After that, my goals are humble. I want a new home, a peaceful life, and a place to make my concoctions.

236. Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully back in Sandpoint, returned to my normal routine.

237. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Peacefully, and not at someone else’s hand. I’d like to live until old age and die naturally, ideally.

238. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Visit my mothers if I was close enough, or write them a letter to say goodbye. Pack away as much of my stuff as I can, so I know it’ll have been organized and handled gently. Then…I don’t know. Sit on the beach and watch the sunset, I suppose.

239. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? I don’t want to be famous. Not even for my alchemy. I’d rather the people I knew personally remember me. And remember me the way they thought of me in life.

Part Sixteen: Misc. 240. If you could, what advice would you, the hero, give to the villain? Or If you could, why would you, the villain want the hero to be at your side or part of your team? The problem here is, I don’t even know who the villain of my story is. Someone wanted to hurt me, or scare me off, by burning down my home. But who and why are unknown to me, so I don’t have the information necessary to even imagine what I would say to them.

241. What was the worst injury you’ve ever received? How did it happen? A monk punched my chest and shattered a few ribs. A firepelt cougar mauled me. A bunch of Norgorber worshippers nearly eviscerated me. I’ve been getting a concerningly large number of severe injuries this last month.

242. How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish? I can’t say I’m terribly ticklish. I think the fur helps to pad it out enough that no particular touch tickles.

243. What would you wish for if you ever found a genie? Jokingly, a new house. In reality? I don’t know. It seems frivolous to use a wish to get something I could get on my own without a genie. The wish would need to be something big. Something impossible to do without it. Like…something like seeing Cailin again.

244. If your house burned down, what one thing would you want to save? That’s not funny. I didn’t manage to save anything.

245. Describe yourself sitting in your favorite spot. My lab, the window open and letting in some nice warm sunlight. I’d be sitting on a stool, working on whatever project had my interest that day.

246. How do you go to sleep and how do you wake up? (position, routine, etc) I tend to sleep early and wake early. Some alchemical herbs are easiest to gather in the first rays of sunlight. Also it means I can work on making my daily preparations in peace.

247. What is a dream (during sleep) that you have often? I didn’t typically get recurring dreams, but lately I’ve been having a very strange one. I share this dream with my companions. We are all four pulled into the heavens by a giant spider. When we reach the spider, we are within a small room leaving out into a golden casino. We are all dressed in fine clothing, befitting the surroundings. No matter where we choose to go, the four of us always end up at a card table. There is a man there. One whose face we are unable to look at. Something just keeps my eyes looking down. Twice he has played a card game with us, and used it as a means to explore our personalities. First, we played poker. Second, we played Werewolf. I do not know what will be third, but I know there will be a third dream. The man said it would be the ‘third and final time’.

248. What is a day dream that you have often? I daydream about being back home sometimes. Especially recently, when things have been so difficult.

249. If you were to die and come back as any person or thing, what or who would you want to be? I don’t know. I suppose life would be easier as a human. No one stares at humans like they are a curiosity. Humans can just blend into the crowd and go about their daily lives with no one even taking notice of them.

250. What is your motto? I don’t have a particular motto. I suppose if I had one it would have to be something like ‘everyone deserves their first chance, and anyone can earn their second’. Although I supposed that more of a mantra than a motto.

251. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? I chose Sandpoint because it perfectly met my needs. I see little reason to go elsewhere permanently. The grass only looks greener from afar.

252. What time period do you wish you could have lived in? Why? (This is not a chance to change history.) What appeals to you about this era? Any point in history? I don’t know. I am fascinated by Ancient Thassalon. But to be honest from what I know about it, historically, I do not believe I would have lived a terribly good life if I’d been born in their time. See the problem with going back to the past is that progress, by nature, goes forward. So any historical place I could visit would be in some way lesser to the time I have been born. Just as this time will likely be inferior to some future day.

253. If you could go back to any point in history and change something, what would it be? Hm. It would be grandiose to go back and warn the Thassalonians about Starfall, or go to the days before Aroden and become the one to pull the Starstone from the sea and be granted its gift of godhood. But the ways in which that could twist and destroy reality as I know it, and put something unpredictable in its place…I would prefer to focus on making the future better rather than the past.

#Mau Ornelos-Servos #pathfinder #my ocs #oc questions

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girltomboy · 4 months

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70 horrible questions answer game

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I'm on good terms with my mom rn, but my dad and I are estranged. I haven't seen him in like 4 years and he doesn't really answer my messages anymore. My overall relationship with my family in general is usually fine but sometimes strained because of... well, generational trauma. I'm not particularly close with anyone in my family, not in a family way at least

2. Who did you last say "I love you" to?

My partner

3. Do you regret anything?

I don't, I rarely feel regret per se, I don't wish anything had happened differently simply because I think it's a waste of time. I mean, I probably have minor/petty gripes with how certain things went for me, but I don't dwell

4. Are you insecure?

I used to be very insecure, but I've grown a lot in my mid 20s. I'm way past that phase of my life, obviously I recognize I still have to work on myself regarding certain aspects, but I'm also aware and proud of my progress

5. What is your relationship status?

Sorry but saying "I'm taken" makes me feel like a high school student, whereas "partnered" makes me feel 50. There has to be a middle ground in the English language

6. How do you want to die?

I dunno, old age probably.

7. What did you last eat?

A clementine

8. Played any sports?

I used to play volleyball in middle + high school, and after that there hasn't been a single opportunity for me to play an organized sport as an adult. I miss playing team sports, but idk how to go about that now :(

9. Do you bite your nails?

My nails have always been rock hard, and trying to bite them is really hard and a bit painful for my teeth, so that's a habit I've thankfully just never been able to pick up. But I do eat the skin around them, for my daily protein intake

10. When was your last physical fight?

Probably middle school, feels a little sad to think that one day I had my last physical fight and didn't know I wasn't gonna do that anymore

11. Do you like someone?

Well, my boyfriend and I are my favorite people

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

No, I don't think I've ever made it that long. I think I did stay up 24 hours though, probably in college, but barely

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Not really a specific person, maybe some upper management at my job but I think that pertains more to capitalism in general rather than an individual

14. Do you miss someone?

I miss A LOT of people all the time! My boyfriend, my grandma, my late grandma, my best friend, my college friends, my college professors, my high school teachers, my high school classmates, my middle school classmates, my primary school teachers- I could sit here and write paragraphs about all of them individually.

15. Have any pets?

Not where I currently live, but my grandma and I share joint custody with a dog of 9 years <3

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I have a headache, I'm thirsty, and I can't wait to go to bed. But I'm relaxed and feeling satisfied after a super productive gaming night

17. Ever made out in the bathroom?

Which bathroom? I've definitely made out with my bf in my bathroom lol but not any other bathrooms as far as I can remember right now

18. Are you scared of spiders?

Not really, but I do squash them sometimes

19. Would you go back in time if given the chance?

Temporarily yes, but I wouldn't want to teleport back in time and relive years or decades all over again. Maybe hang out in the past for a few days and then go back to my current life, because I'm sure I'd want to come back eventually

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My hallway, saying goodbye to my bf

21. What are your plans for this weekend?

Just like every weekend: absolutely nothing :) sleep in (but not too much), make breakfast (or lunch), clean around my apartment, play video games, get stoned, read, just stuff I usually do at home. The options are endless

22. Do you want to have kids? How many?

No, I don't want any. In another life perhaps, I'd want a daughter

23. Do you have piercings? How many?

No 😭 I'm such a coward, I was seriously considering getting a nose piercing, but I chickened out & gave up on the idea when I googled what it looks like without the actual piercing in, and realized the hole is too visible and it's just permanently there forever! Even if it closes. So now I feel like a septum is the only viable option for me, but it's gonna take at least another year until I gather the courage to even start considering it lol, in conclusion: zero

24. What were your best subjects?

In high school I was a linguistics nerd and absurdly good at geography. I also had fun in P.E.

25. Do you miss anyone from your past?

See answer number 14 😭 I probably miss my late grandma the most out of everyone who isn't in my life anymore. Cause I feel like we didn't spend enough time together even though she raised me for years, and she just knew nothing about me as a young adult, as the woman she raised.

26. What are you craving right now?

A room temperature glass of water and some crisp seedless grapes

27. Have you ever broken someone's heart?

No idea if it was ever that serious, I did "reject"? Some people in my life lol but I don't know if they suffered over it and resent me or if it was a shrug and move on type of situation

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

I had some iffy moments when I was in a long-distance relationship with an American girl as a teenager, like really questionable and odd. But I think I was too naive to make a big deal out of them, or I didn't have the words to speak up

29. Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Unfortunately I think yes, same girl from the previous answer. I'll never know though.

30. What's irritating you right now?

Right now as in right now now nothing lol but right now as in nowadays I think I'm put off by insecurity and excessive self pity. Like wallowing and stuff. Not to say I never do that, but the place I'm in currently just doesn't have enough space for that. It denotes too much self absorption and not enough self awareness and thinking beyond yourself. Though when I encounter people who struggle with that I'm sympathetic and patient, it's just something I used to see in myself a lot and now that I've moved past that phase I see it more clearly

31. Does somebody love you?

A lot of people do in many different ways

32. What is your favorite color?

It changes often, but right now I'm drawn to browns and nudes.

33. Do you have trust issues?

I think I was born with them, but I've been working on myself and improving. I think a certain level of skepticism is necessary and healthy, though

34. Who/what was your last dream about?

Last night I had a really weird chain of dreams, like my yard at home looked different, it was as if I was actually living in my neighbor's home and had their yard. And then there was this chain-link fence that separated my yard from the neighbors', and in the dream it freaked me out a little that they could just see us through the fence, but some voice reassured me that they were nice and harmless. Then I started being more confident walking around my yard, and there was so much green, like trees and climbing plants all over the fence, and grass, and so much shade. Then it was like I was living elsewhere, and like my parents house had this long winding staircase that went up into some kind of tower, where I have a faint idea that there were human remnants? Or something like that. And it was kinda freaking me out, and I think something about the couch in my grandma's room. And my bf was there too, maybe we were talking on a bench in the forest about all this. I've been trying to piece back together a clear image of this dream, but not very successfully.

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

It's probably my boyfriend, although that hasn't happened in a long time. I wanna say it's been too long for it to be my boyfriend, maybe it was my work friend? I remember getting emotional when she was telling me about this other coworker's personal problems one time when we went out for wine, like I had no idea she had stuff weighing her down.

36. Do you give out second chances too easily?

Second yes, probably too easily. Third, maybe not. It really depends, but usually not. Second chances I do give out shamelessly

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Oh, it's definitely easier to forgive. You forgive someone for them or for yourself, it's a choice to make. You have no choice in forgetting

38. Is this year the best year of your life?

It's only been a week of it, can I give it some more time? 😭 So far, not really, but it's an unfair assessment to make rn. It still has time to become that! Hopefully it can become the best year of my life so far, not of my entire life, I'm not even 30 yet.

39. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

22 years old

40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Outside in the world, on the street, no. Not even at the beach. I did use to walk in my yard with no clothes on when I was little. It was my way of unwinding after kindergarten. I used to pee standing up 😭

51. <- the questions actually go from 40 to 51 and then continue like that?? 😭 I only just noticed omg Favorite food?

This is sending me lmaooo UM I've been craving my grandma's meatballs and sauce for days now (I was on a walk and literally smelled it in the air randomly) probably not my #1 favorite food ever, but it's a food I'm never not in the mood for.

52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I never know what people mean when they say that. Does it mean for a reason, as in part of a big plan? Like the biblical Plan that god has for us? I don't believe people are given their own cross to carry from birth to death

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night.

I did go to bed last night eventually, and before sleeping I put on moisturizer, said goodnight to my bf and put on an asmr video from this girl I found on youtube who actually understands asmr (there are very very few asmr creators that really understand it)

54. Is cheating ever okay?

I think being the victim of cheating is what ultimately fucks up an overwhelming lot of people, so I can't give it any justification

55. Are you mean?

Probably sometimes, I never try to be though

56. How many people have you fist fought?

A regular bunch, maybe less than 5 in total, if we're not counting fist fighting the same person several times

57. Do you believe in true love?

Sure I do, if I'm capable of it then someone else has to be too, right?

58. Favorite weather?

Whatever the hell there's in the air during spring months, crisp air, warm breeze, sunlight fresh like the skin after a scab falls off.

59. Do you like the snow?

I grew up with heavy winters and shoveling/sweeping the snow off the sidewalk and in our yard, and I've experienced too much of its cold powers to "like" it. But I can't deny there's something magical about it. As I grow older I fear it less, it's a bit incredible that this is happening to me.

60. Do you wanna get married?

Not legally, but I wouldn't be opposed to a symbolic, unofficial ceremony. Just some vows and rings and a pretty place, and some close friends. Maybe the official part can happen when I'm older, like a formality like writing your will or something.

61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I mean if we're dating sure, my bf and I call each other baby all the time. Huge no for strangers though lol

62. What makes you happy?

And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

63. Would you change your name?

I like my name, and am attached to it, having been assigned it by my mother, grown up with it and everything. I've always had this modest list in the back of my head of names I wished I'd been given. Never wrote it down or anything, but it's there and not stagnant lol. But I don't think I'd ever change it for real

64. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

My bf is easy to kiss, I'd be having a great time

65. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I have been in this situation many times, but not with best friends. It probably depends on our dynamic, but if I like them back then I'd seize the opportunity to confess as well. I'm open to love, friends to lovers is how I got into my relationship

66. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Most of my male friends, yeah. Most of my friends, actually. I don't tend to hold myself back if I know the people I'm with don't either.

67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

These opposite sex questions are sendingg meee 😭😭😭 my bf before he went to take a bath

68. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My friends on discord probably, or my boyfriend. I actually can't wait to reunite with my work friend and have some talks with her, just about stuff.

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

Sure yeah, I know anyone can connect with anyone, but I think for every person there's a few people that they connect with on a different level. Like I think some people can really see inside you, and the other way round.

70. Is there anyone you would die for?

I honestly don't think anyone's life is more precious than mine (or the other way round). I think that would be too painful

#this set of high school curious cat ask fm ass questions 💀#like where are TEN of them? lmaooo #i love tumblr ask games

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blue-eyed-bloodstains · 1 year

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1. Do you ever go back and look through all the surveys you’ve taken? Are there any answers that make you cringe, or that you’d answer differently next time around? not really, and probably wouldn’t make me cringe cause I’m always straight up honest so...

2. What is something most everyday people don’t know or wouldn’t be able to guess about you? I went through DFS (Child Protective Services in NJ) at 12 years old and had to live with a next door neighbor for 6 months due to bad domestic violence between my parents while I was there and they were both arrested...

3. If you could have someone make you breakfast every morning, what kinds of things would you want them to make? Biscuits and gravy, bacon, hash browns smothered and covered, coffee

4. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? hmm aside from home? I haven’t really been anywhere abandoned or haunted...I’d love to go!

5. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? kinda I mean I don’t do anything really, used to do baskets and egg hunts and egg coloring obviously as a kid but now it’s just another day. I try to still get chocolate though lol. I celebrate pretty much any main holiday, just don’t go all out...more just try to deal and get through the family get togethers during em...holidays are pretty much ruined for me from years of them being drama and hell, and now that I can’t even drink it’s even worse..

6. If you’re on the internet, what are you most likely to be doing? Tumblr, FB, Youtube, googling something I need to look up, music

7. When was the last time you experienced a pleasant surprise? can’t remember right now cause it’s been hell breaking loose for months now...

8. What were your favorite parts of the previous week? Do you have any plans for this week? nothing really, it’s been shit...and yep I’ve got a major appointment at the cancer institute regarding setting up a major surgery on the 23rd so yeah...

9. What was the last thing you deleted? snapshots

10. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? black, earth tones, blue especially jeans...I can’t stand anything yellow so I never wear it

11. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? past few days being violently sick cause of a bad chronic illness I have...chest was on fire, stomach burning, gagging real bad, neuropathy in my feet going insane, heart pounding out of my damn chest...

12. Do you have any unusual habits or preferences when it comes to food? not much I’m really not picky with food

13. Tell a fact about the last person you spoke to? she’s a manipulative, abusive, controlling, violent, vindictive bitch.

14. What is something you tend to carry with you everywhere? phone

15. What was the last thing you completed? surveys obviously

16. Do you take pictures often? What are the main subjects of your photography? not often really but...selfies, my cat, fiance

17. Post a picture of one of your favorite memories and tell the story behind it? nope not going there right now.

18. If you’re reading a book, how close are you to finishing it? Do you have any idea what you’ll read next? I need to get back into reading so bad...I’m either gonna be rereading the Harry Potter books now that I finally got the full box set again (lost em years ago in a hurricane, fiance got em for me Xmas), or Tom Felton’s book which is basically the same thing lol it’s his autobiography about growing up playing Draco among other things

19. Is there anything you’ve been more optimistic about lately? NOPE.

20. What does the sky look like right now? it’s real sunny, not sure if there’s any clouds I’ll see it in about an hour when my food gets delivered

21. What was the last thing you snacked on? chicken noodle soup and chips from Panera

22. Do you prefer fruits or vegetables? both

23. When was the last time you had to ask for help? What about the last time someone asked you? the beginning of the month when my card expired so while waiting to get a new one, I had my fiance let me use his. as for someone asking me? hmm...not sure right now

24. Where was the last place you went? How long will it be until you leave the house again? Wawa for smokes, which I lucked out given my license expired and they didn’t card me..I’m leaving on the 23rd for an appt

25. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed inside? How about outside? haha seriously? I’m ALWAYS FUCKING INSIDE...longest outside? I’d say Camp Redcloud back in 5th grade..I think it was like near a week, give or take, it was a school trip

26. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? fiance, barely given his job always sending him away... :(

27. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? mental illness or medical illness and what it does to you that no one ever gets cause it’s not them.

28. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? I have ID on in the background and yeah it’s repeats right now. it’s all crime shows and docs.

29. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? casual and comfy. I’m a tomboy so gimme a pair of jeans and a tee and I’m good. oh and a hoodie too for sure.

30. How has your day been so far? don’t....

#survey #bored #random #about me

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insertpoetryhere · 1 year

Note

Hot take on Celty?

There was another ask for this as well but I have finally managed to verbalize these thoughts and I’m gonna go with the top one.

I’ve taken a shot in preparation to make sure this can match the energy of the Izaya ask (which I answered while shitfaced).

I tried so incredibly hard to like Celty, but the thing that has always stopped me is her relationship with Shinra. Obviously, immortal being/young adult ships are always a little dicey but I am totally willing to handwave it if they meet when they’re adults. When they met, Celty had the mind and body of an adult woman and Shinra was FOUR YEARS OLD. She then practically raised him, she was basically his live in nanny. And 20 years later they’re in a relationship.

Shinra is entirely dependent on her, as he probably always has been since she was his only consistent adult figure in his life from the ages 4-20 (note: for those who don’t know, 20 is the age of adulthood in Japan). And until he himself was an adult, he really don’t have much of a choice but to rely on her.

And (with a similar argument that I use to say why the yakuza targeting Izaya specifically rubs me the wrong way) Shinra doesn’t have parents who are consistently there or any other real support system until much later in life.

Now this could have been an interesting dynamic to deconstruct, which would have at least made me able to appreciate a well-done storyline. But it’s not. Because we aren’t really supposed to think that any of this is Celty’s fault. Whenever the relationship takes a turn for the unhealthy, it’s always Shinra’s fault. And before I continue, Shinra’s actions are his own. He does do things that make the relationship unhealthy and manipulate people around him, and those actions are on him. But maybe we should side eye the person who raised him. You know… his wife.

And this dynamic taints the scenes these two are in that are supposed to be funny. Because I can’t laugh when it’s them and the relationship makes my head hurt when I think about how fucked up it is. And she’s out here smacking him with the handlebar of her motor cycle or trapping him in a stupid shadow ball and all I’m thinking while I watch is “omg baby LEAVE HER”.

And the worst part is that I don’t even think Celty meant to groom him. Because her entire thing is hand waving consequences and overlooking the aspects of people that she finds inconvenient. Because Shizuo is a “good person” even though his job is to illegally kick the shit out of poor people who owe his boss money and he has severe anger issues that he really isn’t working to fix and that he always diverts blame onto outside factors. Izaya is a terrible person though, because he is heavily involved with the Yakuza, doesn’t really value people as people, and is extremely manipulative. All three of those things are fine when Shinra does it though, since Celty likes her ward/husband. And she met both of these men AS CHILDREN and apparently judged them accordingly right away since she never seems to mention any changes taking place or anything like that. She looked at a 12-14 year old Izaya, saw some signs of severe issues, and hand waved this boy as a “bad person” before he had managed to really do anything to earn that title.

I get that it’s about twisted love or whatever, and all of the flaws are to be like “oh Celty is just as human as the rest of them”… but did we really have to go THAT FAR? A lot of these issues would be lessened in my mind if the show would just… treat Celty as wrong on the occasion. But they don’t really challenge her worldview or call her out on predatory behaviors. And the fandom never discusses the issues with her and Shinra’s relationship outside of the context of “it’s always Shinra’s fault all the time”.

#I’m not super confident that I got the little details right since it’s been forever #and I’m sure the tequila has influenced some of this #but my core issue is one that has been in my head rent free since 2012 #poetry’s asks

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box-of-chaooos · 2 years

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So moomin age, this has been on my mind for ages now. How old are the moomins? We’re talking moomin snufkin sniff little my snorkmaiden kinda thing. Mama and papa are very obviously like 30s almost 40s age range.

Well start with moomin

See here snufkin looks to be rather short looking but he looks taller than moomin even though If you took snufkins hat if he’s be the same size. In the show moomin is show like a child speaking like one playing like one but surely he’s not. He’s not 10-12 years he’s got to be at least 15 if his parents let him go to different islands at night, he would surely not have a knife of his own either. Now moomin mama and moomin papa are pretty lenient moomins allowed to do most things he asks but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been told no before. The show makes him seem way younger than he probably is but moomin valley is a better way to go off. Moomin Is taller than snufkin in moomin valley and he is more mature and seems more his age so to me moomin is around 15-16 years old the 90s version just makes him seem more childlike.

Little my, well lead into little my for now since this plays part with snufkins age. So, little my is a mymble and she has a lot of siblings. Little my is short we know this she’s very short but has a big personality and for someone so short looking she sure does have a mature sounding voice.

If you look at the mymble and mymble jr they’re not short at all but mymble is still mys sister mymble jr is probably in her 20s early 20s to be exact and she is tall as her mother who is a good 30 years.

Mymble here isn’t to short either standing she would also be pretty tall. So mymbles don’t stay short. Mymble definitely doesn’t have that many children from having one baby at a time. She probably has a litter meaning small babies but they’ll grow bigger at a certain age. So my guess is if mymble jr mymble and the mymble are all passed 18 and not short than my is probably 17.

Snufkin, I told you my would play into snufkins part. Little my his snufkins older half sister. Snufkin acts very mature but you have to think he lives on his own and raised himself he would’ve taught himself that there’s no time to play around and have fun if you want to survive like this than you have to keep it up at all times. He doesn’t convey much Emotions at times either and has this rather sleepy glare all the time. Snufkin would end up shorter than moomin

Moomin papa is fully grown and is taller than snufkin. I think the reason snufkins going to be shorter which might not help people Figure his age out would be just that but he is a mumrik born from a mymble. Mymbles have growth spurts from being small children at a certain age but as a mumrik snufkin doesn’t get that growth spurt mymble genes make him short but because his isn’t a mymble he will remain short. So he’s going to be short and act very mature but he is younger than little my so he is around 15-16 just like moomin maybe 14 I’m sure he knows his age but just doesn’t share it.

Sniff is fairly easy, he’s mature sometimes and has a good sense of money and value to things he also lives on his own so he’s probably 16 or 17

Snorkmaiden, now snorkmaiden is very mature and knows a lot in romantic relationships and such she cooks dinner for snork often too so she’s not young. I’d say snorkmaiden is 16 on the dot a young sweet 16 who wants love and romance in her life.

So rounding it all off

Moomin is 15

Little my is 17

Snufkin is 14

Sniff is 17

Snorkmaiden is 16

Poor snuf ended up short and youngest soured snufkin 😂

#moomins #moomin valley #moomin troll #mumrik #snufmumriken #snorkmaiden #the snork #little my #mymble #mymble jr #the mymble #moominmama #moominpapa #sniff #90s moomins #headcannons #age headcanons #short snufkin #lmao small snuf with his big boyfriend moomie

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kusagrasskusa · 3 years

Text

Michael Myers X Murderer! Reader - Headcannons - "Death Card"

Also, thank you (Wattpad Person) for requesting this :) I know your the last request I got, so I prolly should have done someone else's request first, but your's was just easiest to find. (Also, I have it bad for Michael so )

Have fun reading this! I'm writing this on my laptop instead of computer so sorry if the formatting turns out worse than usual :/

Also...someone made fun of me for putting, "eight," and, "11," in the same sentence. I guess not many people know this, but anything under ten is supposed to be written out unless their fractions or decimals.

By the way, these basically aren't headcannons lol. It's just me wanting to write out a story but not being good enough to so I just write it down in simpler terms.

Enjoy~

Not only is Y/N just another famous murder who casually takes the lives of people, but she's amazing at hiding

..........until-

Y/N was an abusive home after her parents died when she was a toddler. Her aunt and uncle neglected her but karma came back at them when their car fell off a bridge, causing the pair to drown. The downside for the young Y/N was that she was put into a foster institution. And we all know by now that foster care are full of fights, drugs, weed, alcohol, and shitty employees.

As a young girl entering such a bad place, she was always a target. You know that sense of fear, worthlessness, and loneliness fucked with her head to where she felt lashing out felt great.

She would be unable to stop herself as she plunged a sharp object in and out of this prick that held her down for so long. But once she heard voices from other kids, she ran.

The story made headlines as the next big attack from yet another child. That's right, next. There was someone who inspired her to do what she did.

Of course, she always had that memory in the back of her head. That boy's violent actions filled her with immeasurable awe when she saw the news. However, she always had something more important to think about.

With so much dissatisfaction with her past, she could only fill herself up with adding things on to her in the present, and more in the future.

Y/N would steal Poker cards from people and always use the Ace of Spades to mark her kills by sliding the card into a wound. After all, betting games were the highlight of her day in the foster institution. She was always so good at it that it became her pride.

All these headlines and stories about how evil she is became such a big deal in her head. Such an overwhelming feeling of adrenaline every time she heard the name people would call her.

"The Death Card," is another name for Ace of Spades in most English countries. It was the perfect fit for Y/N.

(Ya'll, I feel like a fucking genius for coming up with that lol)

She was so good at hiding, truly. Kill someone in Kentucky, then move to Missouri. Killing someone there and move to Georgia, and so on.

Only in her hometown was she caught.

Michael was the one who started it all for her, as their same age and hometown made her feel connected to him, and finally where he got caught would be the same place she did.

14 years of hiding and killing led her to meeting him

Michael spent these 14 years sitting in complete silence. No talking, no humming, no singing, nothing. It's like he was always in his own world of thought, too busy in his imagination to interact with the real world.

Of course, there was times when he did pay attention to what's around him.

The news was the only thing he'd really pay close attention to. After all, what if something happens to Haddonfield while's he's stuck in there, and that causes plenty of people he once knew to move away?

But per usual, there was nothing about it

But there was something that caught his attention even by a little

"After 14 years, the notorious Death Card or Card of Death has finally been caught," says the Haddonfield Police Department. "While we're unsure of her motives thus far, we have been able to learn of who she is. Y/N L/N made the headlines once in 1980 at the age of eight as one of America's biggest crime cases with children as the culprit, having brutally stabbed a 15 year old boy. This happened just two years after the Michael Myers case, when a six year old boy stabbed his older sister in 1978. All else the HPD are saying is that her frantic behavior may lead her to a mental institution rather than letting her make legal decisions in court."

Michael paid attention to all the details of the report. For this report to be made about Haddonfield, chances are they'll be meeting each other soon.

The Death Card was a violent killer Michael heard of plenty of times however he never paid close attention to.

(Holy shit these are just headcannons so why am I writing long paragraphs)

He had to say, hearing about her violent stabbings were the highlight of his week. Even if he never felt strong about hearing other people having fun with their lives like she was, he couldn't help but almost feel pushed to do what she is. Living freely and ending those who cross his path...

Saying he was jealous or inspired would be a stretch though

He would spend his days painting paper mache masks while thinking of doing what she was for sure but he hated how she would show off by using those cards as if she didn't have a goal in mind, which was annoying to him. If you have nothing to live for, then kill yourself was his mindset.

Michael watched as Y/N stepped into court. He know hundreds- no thousands- of people watched as this woman of pure evil stepped into the courtroom. Her H/C hair flowed as she walked passed everyone, glaring at them with her cold E/C eyes.

A look of slight intrigue replaced his normal dull expression as he watched the girl stand up before the judge, smiling sassily at the cameras as to tell them to fuck off. Michael can recognize that look of intrusion on her face as she was practically interrogated. Clearly, she hated it there.

He watched contently as all the mystery surrounding the Card of Death was revealed to everyone in this world. Days went by of this court case before finally, she pled insanity. After all, she was known to have some underlying mental conditions as she remained so calm when talking about the varies of ways she would kill.

It's easy to see that many felt bad for the girl. Such trauma growing up led to the creation of this unfortunate human. But Michael? He didn't feel bad at all.

He never was sad or truly sympathetic however...he did feel pity. Somewhere in his soulless eyes held pity for this sad, sad girl he was soon to meet. Not exactly sympathy, but simply pity. And with that came respect.

The day that Y/N stepped foot into those doors was the day the two would meet for the very first times. Over 63 counts of first degree murder in 14 years led to the meeting of these two serial killers. At the time, they were both only 20.

Tables were scattered across the room with people talking or simply sitting alone by themselves on them. There was TV in a few different places around the room and board games in a couple of shelves. In the back of the large room was windows that showed the outside that felt so out of reach forever.

As the metal doors slammed behind her, she felt eyes on her immediately. Y/N slowly scanned the room as she gulped back the intense fear gathering in her stomach. Her lips parted open as she began to breath heavily and press her back on those metal doors.

She was so trapped and scared when she first entered that foster institution. She couldn't help but think of karma when her aunt would hurt her so badly for those five years before she died. But 63 murders are so much worse, so what could karma do to her to balance her evil deeds with punishment?

Laughter and giggled filled her ears as she shut her eyes tightly and covered her face with her arms. Her vision was going blurry; she was having a panic attack. Tears fell from her eyes as she whimpered quietly to herself.

She may be the Card of Death however she never had to be in a large group of people in so long.

Her body jerked as she was suddenly pulled away from those metal doors. She cried out when she saw a large man, around 6'7 (204cm), pull her away.

In just a few seconds, she was pulled to a metal table and forced to sit as the large man stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.

Her body tensed unimaginably as they remained still for a few seconds, quiet aside from the occasional sobs of Y/N.

Then suddenly, the pressure on her shoulders disappeared. She heard nothing until the sound of creaking from the seat in front of her interrupted.

Y/N felt eyes on her. They were so intense over her.

A minute passed before her own eyes fluttered open, meeting the man's eyes in front of her.

A shiver ran down her spine when she came face to face with stone cold blue eyes that seemed to hold nothing within them. No light, no soul, and no sympathy. Not only that, but a orange mask made of paper mache covered the rest of his face as well.

The man tilted his head before lifting his hand onto the table, sliding something over to her. Y/N looked down at what he gave her.

"Don't speak. Write."

Michael had given her a paper with these words. His handwriting was hard to read considering he nearly never wrote anything so it took a moment before Y/N got the message. When she did, she looked back up at the man and nodded just a little so it was barely recognizable.

Obviously this conversation was to be secretive so she knew to barely show signs of interactions. The camera couldn't pick up on such a small nod to what evidence is there of them even interacting?

Michael slid the paper back to him and brought a pencil to the paper after erasing the original text. When he slid it back to her, it read, "Don't let anyone know what we say Y/N. They watch everything." When Y/N looked back up at him, she saw him dart his eyes from something behind her to something on the wall between them. She turned her head slightly to the side, noticing a camera on the wall. So she understood.

Michael had dropped on the pencil on the table, meaning it was her turn to reply. She erased the previous text before writing down, "Who are you? How do you know me?" When she slid it back, Michael took the pencil in his hand again.

"Michael Myers. I was a well known case two years before you. We heard a lot about you on TV."

"As in the boy who killed his sister at the age of six?"

"Yes. You know me?"

Y/N's eyes widened slightly as she frantically wrote down a reply. Without even noticing, the knot in her stomach had completely disappeared without a trace.

"I remember seeing your case. I thought about everyday."

Michael didn't reply immediately after reading. Instead, he waited a few minutes and stared down at the table. A look of confusion remained on Y/N's features as she impatiently waited. Then suddenly, Michael erased what was on the paper and simply drew a masked person looking somewhat like himself with a knife in his hand. He drew dead stick figures around it with blood splattering everywhere.

Michael knew that this picture would cover up all the eraser marks and writings that were still slightly visible. So when the guard that walked up behind Y/N without her knowing popped up, he didn't see any text.

Of course, this did lead to the paper being taken away. Then minutes after that, both of the pair was taken away.

If there's one thing as scary as analyzing The Shape and caring for him, it's that person who cares and analyzes him finding him interacting with someone else for the first time.

Whenever Y/N got sat down in her cell, she knew what was about to happen. She was sat down in her bed as a man she'd never seen before sat down in the chair that came with her little desk in her cell with a guard next to him.

Have you ever spoken to Michael? Are you related to him? How do you know him? How does he know you? Have you ever met his family? Why did he interact to you? Why was he drawing things for you? Does he like you? Does he hate you? Did he write to you? Did you hear him talk?

So many questions were asked by this Dr Loomis in such short amount of time. "No, no, I don't, no, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, no, no," and mostly these were your responses. No matter how many times Loomis asked, you dully replied.

You simply said he sat you down and you began to draw together, both filling in a piece of the drawing together.

And eventually, you got out.

Another day went by of "talking" to Michael.

And another.

The talks were nice and casual. What goes on in the asylum? What goes on in the outside? Who should I avoid? What's the reputation of the HPD?

Do you want to escape?

But it was only a matter of time before finally the two were friends.

Y/N was kinda just in her cell one night in bed. Then she just gasped and widened her eyes. Wait, are we friends? We're friends, right!

Michael already knew of their friendship like two weeks before she did. It felt so...wrong for him. He had always been alone and silent. How could someone like her even be so likeable to him? He didn't really understand it but he knew he hated it.

One day, the two were writing to each other per usual. Michael unintentionally added a pun in one of his comments, causing Y/N to giggle. Michael cocked his head to the side in confusion, strangely feeling heat rise his face and his heart speed up. It was air conditioned so he suspected he may have gotten sick.

Whenever the two had to go back to their cells, that feeling suddenly disappeared. Then it hit him. Oh fuck-

Hell, only a week later did Y/N feel herself experiencing the same symptoms. Michael notices that Y/N would shake and fidget a lot when they interacted, making him wonder of she was cold. As a friend, it was only right for him to sit next to her and hold her close to keep her warm, right? Y/N's face went red and damn that was embarrassing. But of course, that didn't mean Y/N wouldn't hug him back.

Eventually the two were basically cuddling. The two hugging each other warmly as Y/N rested her head on his chest, struggling to stay awake as they got more comfortable by the second.

But of course, Dr Loomis caught eye of that.

The doctor had been looking deep into al the interactions these two evil beings have had. They act so casual, so normal with each other, surely more than just drawing is happening between them, right?

The doctor had pulled them into his office separately to interrogate them. While Y/N bluntly answered his questions to make him just shut up as quickly as possible, she couldn't help but think to herself. She knows that she and Michael are mentally ill, but he should definitely be fixed by now. He's smart and creative and can casually talk to people, so it's like the only thing keeping him here is that the doctors are so ill-equipped that they can't make the necessary breakthrough to save him.

Of course, just a month later, another incident happened like this. Y/N was having a bad migraine so Michael got her to just sit down and wait for him during lunch. He brought over two trays of food for them and was sure to trade with Y/N so she can eat the things she likes and he could have the things she dislikes.

Another time, a bipolar guy ran into Michael and shoved him as if it was his fault. Michael shoved him back instinctively, causing a fight to disperse between the two. As security guards took notice, Y/N was quick to push Michael away softly and ball a fist to punch the fuck out of that guy- like a, "YO WHATCHU SAY ABOUT MY MAN?" type shit. Y/N did this to seem like she was hitting back and that Michael hadn't done anything wrong.

And when each other's birthday's rolled around, they had their own celebration. Y/N was given her own paper mache mask as a gift and a small cupcake from the cafe. Michael was given stolen art supplies that were taken from other guests and also a cupcake.

Y/N slowly stopped having panic attacks, but she definitely had her moments. Of course, Michael sat with her through it.

Dr Loomis recorded all this shit so he can gather data on Michael. Then the question hit him: How would Michael react if Y/N was gone for a few days? Does he truly care about her or is he just using her?

If you think Michael hated Loomis before, wait til he pieced together the disappearance of girlfriend and the extensive eyesight on him from security guards. For the hell he raised about it, he had to get sterilized and put into a cell without being able to get out for a few days.

Y/N remained bored in her cell for days. So what better could she do than annoy the guard watching her? She would just talk nonstop for what felt like hours and hours. The dude watching her was just getting more pissed off by the second.

"Would you shut up? Crazy bitch," he hissed, hitting the cell door. Y/N giggled cockily, shaking her head. Even if she deserved to be yelled at for continuing to talk, the Card of Death refused to back down. But when the guard went inside her cell and locked the door behind him, she got a bit worried.

Y/N got off her bed and threatened him cockily, to which he responded with physical force.

Of course, Smith's Groove is ill-equipped so even with proof of being hit and tazed, Y/N couldn't do anything to get the guard fired. But Michael?

A full month without seeing each other was like a slow suicide. But when they finally got to see each other again, the two was sure to write so much about their time alone as if they were teenage friends discussing their fun weekends. However, things turned dark whenever Y/N brought up the guard.

Michael didn't show any emotions at all, no matter what happens. But Y/N learned to guess how he's feeling depending on how long he takes to respond. Slowed blinking as if he was in thought, and slower reading as got analyze her writing closer were typically bad signs.

About a year had passed since they met at this time. A year to plan to escape. By now, the two were both 21 and fully prepared to leave once and for all.

Whenever that security guard had walked passed Michael's cell one night, Michael had knocked on the door to signal him. Michael slipped a paper through the doorslot, as he was given paper since he doesn't talk, saying he found a dead mouse in his cell. The guard just huffed and let himself inside. Michael pointed to where the mouse supposedly was; and that was a mistake for the guard.

Right as that guard went to look, Michael got behind and covered his mouth before stabbing him in the neck with a paint brush that's but carved into a small blade. Within moments, the guard dropped dead onto the floor.

Taking the keys from the guard, Michael was able to let out nearly every single prisoner to this hell out of their cells. Including Y/N.

The world sister was the only thing left of the pair as it was engraved into the door of Michael's cell. And just like that, the two were gone.

How they got there so fast doesn't matter but eventually Y/N and Michael found an abandoned house to station at until the search around the area disappeared and they could move around quicker.

"I can't fucking believe it," Y/N cheered as she felt tears run down her face from happiness. She swayed across the room, taking in the smell of dust and air. Even something dirty felt so new to her that couldn't help but love it at the moment.

Michael would watch her as he sat down in an old wooden chair, cocking his head. His body was in complete shock as the realization of all that's happened in the past years came crashing down on him. This was the real world? This is what dust smells like? This is what shattered glass and broken wood looks like? This is what trees look like up close? This is what things look like without glass tinting the color?

This is what it feels like to celebrate with someone you love? Michael reminded himself that the girl in front of him changed his life so much. His urge to harm all around him was always so strong, but the thought of her being hurt felt a bad taste in his mouth.

He stood up from the chair, walking towards the ecstatic girl as she cried happily to herself and picked up random things to remind herself of what they feel like and all she takes for granted. She turned her head to him, smiling, "Michael, look, I found a-"

Y/N gasped as Michael gripped his mask and slowly moved it. Y/N watched in awe as for the first time, she saw her only friend in this world's real face. That pale skin and soulless eyes that she grew familiar with became so new to her again.

"Michael..." she whispered, stepping closer to him. Her face heated up as she felt the weight his eyes staring down at her. She lightly bit her lip, a shiver going down her spine.

He took a few steps closer as well, making the two remain inches away from each other. Now at this point, Y/N is questioning if Michael is gonna kill her or is gonna kiss her as he awkwardly put his hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away. She leaned her head into his hand, keeping eye contact with him the whole time.

In just a matter of moments, the two came together in a soft kiss. The moment was quiet as the two did their best to remain calm and together as this moment that was little way's overdue continued.

When the two pulled away, Y/N was quick to wrap her arms around him. Now she wasn't going to cry about it, but damn was that contact she needed so badly. The Death Card and The Shape were basically Yin and Yang with how one is emotional and the other in emotionless but their need for pain and each other is what kept it healthy.

Just imagine how much suffering families went through since the two got out.

#michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #michael myers x reader #michael myers #horror movies x reader #horror movies #slashers #slashers x y/n #slashers x you #slashers x reader #halloween #reader insert #x reader #killer reader #movie villains #aaaaaah #request #i love u #thanks for the request!

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thatoneitaliangirl · 3 years

Note

Oh my gosh could you write a childe x reader thing 🥺🥺 I wanna just have some sweet angst with a happy outcome somehow 😔

I may have gone a bit overboard- At this point, I feel I'm literally incapable of writing anything under 1,000 words. So sorry this took so long, I had to take a break from writing to work out some things with school. A bunch of nonsense and stuff lol. You didn't specify gender, so I wrote the reader as female, only cause that's what I'm used to working with. I apologize if that's not what you wanted. I can always whip up something for ya with your preferred pronouns! But I'm not sure if I'll make it this long . . . I honestly don't know how I even did this, like this is a feat I feel. Anyways, I hope Childe isn't too OOC in this. I'm not the best when it comes to writing angst, so I hope you like it! And just as a little explanation beforehand, I read up that Childe joined the Fatui when he was about 14, became a Harbinger at 18, and is considered a young adult. So in this fic, it's assumed that he and you are at least 20 years old just so the timeline adds up and stuff. Also, despite how long this is, Childe isn't in it as much as you probably wanted- I have a tendency to write more about the reader than the characters. It's something I'm trying to break, but I was just so proud of this. I hope you like it! Anyways, happy reading!!! ^^

Childe x Reader Angst

Plot- Reader and Childe have been together for years when Reader finds out that Childe killed her sister when she was young.

Word count- 8,864 (I'm so sorry)

Warnings- Mentions of death, sadness, bad writing, possible suicide at the end(But just mentioned as a fear), swearing, and cringe 'funny' moments cause why not.

The wind blows through your hair as you sit atop a ledge overlooking Liyue Harbor. Today is your younger sister's birthday, and for the past six years, it's been nothing but a reminder of your failure. You were supposed to take care of her. After your parents passed away, you were all she had left, and she, you. But you were just a kid yourself, hardly capable of raising a child.

You bite your lip and look over at all the families walking about, having fun. It brings a smile to your face knowing at least some people can be happy on this day. She wouldn't have wanted doom and gloom to be her only remembrance. The sun in the sky is warm, beaming down on your skin. You've fought many battles for the Adventurers Guild during your time living in town, and are proud to say you've survived. Even escaped a few sparring matches with Childe relatively unscathed.

You win every time, but it's no surprise given he lets you win. That's one of the many things you love about him. He tries to put you first in most situations as much as he can with his job. And it's the little things like letting you win a fake fight that makes you feel like you're floating.

Your relationship is practically plastered on every notice board in town with how affectionate you are to each other. Not a soul in Liyue can look at you and not know you are the Harbinger's lover. But you're okay with that.

Taking in a calm breath, you hop down and glide your way to the docks below.

"Good morning, _____! Nice weather, isn't it?" You smile at the young girl as she approaches you. You've known her for a while now, and have come to consider yourself friends. She seems a bit nervous though.

"It certainly is. Are you okay, Chen?" Her smile drops and she grips onto her arms.

"Can I ask a favor of you? It's rude of me, but I'm desperate!"

"It's fine, what's the matter?" The young girl sighs.

"My brother borrowed a loan from Northland Bank last month and the payments were due two days ago. He told me he was going to pay it back . . . He hasn't been home since. I just thought that . . ."

"You want me to ask Tar?" Her eyes snap up to yours.

"Will you? Please? I'm just so worried about him! I told him not to take that loan, but he never listens to me." You put your hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"It's okay. It's no problem at all! I was just headed there anyway. I'll see about your brother for you." Young Chen sighs in relief and reaches in her pocket.

"Here, I want you to take this as payment." You shake your head and push her hand away.

"No, I could never!"

"I insist! My mother gave this to me when I was a kid," She opens your hand and places a small coin in before closing your hand around it.

"She told me travelers would give these coins to people who did favors for them and that they grant wishes! Though I'm sure that's just a children's story; I was never able to get it to work." You give the coin a look, hesitant, before slipping it into your pocket.

"Alright, I'll accept. Thank you!" You wave goodbye to Chen and head towards the bank. Childe spends most of his days there, what he does, you have no idea. It's a mystery. The most you get out of him is 'business' which, yeah, obviously you do business. But it's understandable. The Fatui are a questionable lot, and not many people in Liyue trust them.

The Qixing keep a close eye on them as well, though you're sure even they hardly know what goes down under the 'bank' façade. Sometimes Childe comes home with cuts and bruises, claiming they're from training with his comrades, and while you don't buy that one bit, you play along. No need to add to his stress. If he thought you needed to know, he would tell you. No doubt about it.

Walking up the many flights of stairs, you nod to Vlad who lets you in.

Lucky for you, the first face your eyes land on is the exact one you came looking for.

"Tar!" He immediately looks over in your direction, smiles, and dismisses the Fatui agent he was talking to.

"Well, if it isn't the most beautiful woman in all Teyvat. Come to steal my heart?" He pulls you into a hug and kisses your cheek.

"No need, I already have it," You pull away, giving him a smile.

"I actually came here to see you."

"I'd hope so! Who else would you want to see?" Rolling your eyes, you grab him by his hand and lead him to his office.

"I have a favor to ask of you," The joking atmosphere surrounding you turns heavy as you hold his hands in yours.

"As you know, today is . . . Very important to me. I was wondering if you could get off early tonight? If not, it's okay though. I don't want to trouble you or anything." Childe chuckles and pats your head.

"I know what today is. I already requested an early leave this morning, but they haven't gotten back to me yet. If we're that backed up, I'm not sure I'll be able to," Your face falls a bit, but you smile. He made the effort to try and get off early without you even asking.

He places his hand onto your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek.

"But I promise to make it up to you. If I don't get back too late, we can go up to Mt. Tianheng and watch the lights at night. I know you like to do that when you're upset." The kind smile on his face is only magnified by the gentle look in his eyes. He's always been soft with you, even before you got together.

It was always an odd sight for people to see the two of you interact before you were a couple. He always regards people with the same jokester attitude, especially those he has to keep an eye on. But when he's with you, he may joke around, but is always much more concerned for your wellbeing.

"Thank you, Tar. I really appreciate it." He smirks and laughs.

"You appreciate it, huh? How much?" You roll your eyes again and give him a kiss on the lips. Childe smiles into it and tries to make it deeper, but you pull away with his lips chasing after you.

"Easy there, tiger. Save it for later, huh?"

"So, there's a later?" You lightly smack his chest and pull away from him as he laughs.

"Get back to work, Tar." You turn to leave but stop in the doorway.

"Oh, before I forget, I ran into Chen earlier," The look in Childe's eyes shifts slightly, but you barely notice.

"She mentioned that her brother stopped by here about two days ago, and was wondering if you knew where he went after? He hasn't been home since and she's very worried."

He ponders for a moment before his eyes light up in realization.

"Now that you mention it, he did say he was headed towards Lingju Pass. Don't know what for though." He shrugs.

"Okay, thank you! I'll be sure to pass it on." You exchange words of love before you leave.

After speaking with Chen, you decided to head towards the countryside. Your conversation with her went about as well as you expected. She seemed distressed and unsure of the information you gave her, but any criticisms were held as she thanked you and left. You hope that she'll be okay and that her brother comes back. Archons know, you understand what it's like to lose a sibling.

You take in a deep breath.

The air in Liyue is unlike any other. Once you leave the city and all the warm bodies, it's nothing but gentle breezes and the smell of earth. And the occasional Hilichurl, but you can easily take out a few to preserve the peace.

Walking along a random path in the sand, you reflect.

When you and your sister were young, you would often take walks like these while your parents were arguing. Despite only being a few years older than her, you actively chose to take on a more nurturing role. But after your parents died, you realized just how hard it was to provide for the two of you.

You knew how to use a bow to hunt, but not well, and even though you had your mother's catalyst, you didn't have a vision. Sometimes just showing it off and pretending you had a vision was enough to scare off petty thieves and weak Hilichurls, but it was only a matter of time before that wouldn't be enough.

Unfortunately, that time came all too soon.

The two of you had found an abandoned campsite and you decided to rest for the night. Your sister and you were headed to Mondstadt in search of a distant relative who you believed could help you. But during the night, your sister got thirsty and you were all out of water in your canteen. So you heading out to find a lake close by to fetch some, only to return to see a dark figure escaping into the night and your sister, laying in the tent, unmoving.

You were only a few hours walk to the city.

Sometimes you wonder if you had kept going that night, maybe whoever it was would have never even crossed your path. Your cries for help were heard by knights close by and they gathered your sister. Everyone in the city was welcoming and understanding, and the church gave her a wonderful service.

But nothing could mend the hole in your heart. Thankfully, the family member was able to take you in and trained you to become a knight. But that's not what you wanted. You wanted to find the person who killed your sister. And after completing your training, you left for Liyue and gained your Cryo vision along the way.

You summon your catalyst and flip through the pages. It's strange how magic works and how everything interacts with your vision. Before you, this weapon served your pyro vision-wielding mother. After you gained your vision, all the spells changed to fit the cold rather than the heat. You sigh and close the book. Sifting through it is just going to make you more sentimental. The sky above begins to turn shades of orange and pink as the sun goes down, so you decide to head home.

"I know you did something!" A loud voice yells, not too far from you.

"Chen?" You whisper to yourself and make your way around to see her at the edge of town, yelling at a Fatui agent.

"Calm down, miss Chen. We don't know what you are referring to." She balls her hands into fists, her face twisted in anger.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Lingju Pass? He hasn't set foot there since our father died. How dare you make up such lies!" You decide to make your way over to try and calm her down. She's obviously upset, and you know that Fatui agents aren't well versed in the ways of 'feelings.' In fact, most of the ones you've met have all been quite stoic and unconcerned.

"Are you calling the Fatui liars, miss Chen?" You stop, Childe stepping out in front of the other agent.

What is Childe doing out here?

"You Fatui lie about everything! Everyone in Liyue despises your presence here, and this just proves to me how low you people actually are. What did you do to my brother?!" She reaches up to hit Childe, and you run up to her and grab her by her arms. You know she can't hurt him, but if she tries she could get into some serious trouble.

"Chen, listen to me, you have to calm down." She looks up at you with tears streaming down her face but shakes off your grip.

"No! I refuse! He knows something about my brother, I know he does!" She looks at you with pleading eyes.

"Please, _____, tell him. Tell him to tell me where my brother is!" Chen sobs. Tears start to form in your eyes.

"Chen, I'm sorry, but Tartaglia doesn't know," You look up at Childe and are taken aback by the look in his eyes. His eyes are dead, angry, violent as he stares at Chen. He waves his hand, and two Fatui agents come from behind and drag Chen away.

"Let go of me!" She struggles as they hold her arms and pull her through the dirt path. Chen glairs at Childe, digging her feet into the ground to slow them down.

"You're a monster, Harbinger! A monster!" You continue to stare after her as she's dragged away. What just happened? You've known Chen and her brother since you moved here. What could have happened to make this poor girl act like this? You jump when Childe places his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." He wipes the tears from your cheeks and smiles his normal, dashing smile. Nothing like the look he was giving Chen just a moment ago.

"Sometimes those awful rumors spreading about the Fatui make people act irrationally." You look him in the eyes as he holds your face. His eyes are soft and caring now, just how he always looks at you.

"Do you know what happened to her brother?" You ask softly. His eyes darken a bit, but his smile never faults.

"_____, my love, are you questioning me now too? Come on, you know none of that stuff is true, right? I work at a bank, not much else to it." He answers, his voice joking, but there's this undertone you can't quite place and have never heard before. You force a smile and hug him close.

"Your right, I'm sorry for asking. I'm just so concerned for Chen and her brother. Do you know where they're taking her?" He hugs you back, tight, and kisses your forehead.

"I think you should just leave it be for now. Go home and get some rest. I should be getting off work soon, and we can do what I promised. How's that sound?"

"Good." You lean up and give him a kiss. His voice drops low as he whispers in your ear.

"I love you, _____. Don't ever forget that."

And he leaves before you can reply. A chill goes down your spine as you watch him leave, and it's not from your vision. You've never seen Childe like that before, even when he interacts with the Traveler. It made you freeze in place, made your blood run cold, and had your heart beating faster with fear all at the same time. That was Harbinger Childe, not your Tartaglia. You rub your hands along your upper arms to calm yourself. You never want to experience that again.

Taking a deep breath, you reach into your pocket to grab your handkerchief, but pull out the coin Chen had given you instead. All it does is remind you that once again you failed to protect someone you cared about. Poor Chen is scared and afraid, and you're positive that Childe's reaction did not help her any.

But as you hold up the coin, you notice a faint glow emanating from around the outer edge which turns the intricate patterns into Liyuian Characters.

'Let the truth be revealed.'

What does this mean? You remember Chen telling you the story of the coin, but it was just that. You've never heard of any coins gifted by travelers before, and it definitely wasn't a common folk tale.

You shove it back into your pocket and rush home.

The sun is almost fully down, and the stars begin to light your way as you walk hastily down the path. Once your house is in sight, you pick up the pace and run inside.

The glow from the coin is brighter now, illuminating your darkening house. How does one even make a wish on a coin?

"I want to see the truth, but I don't know how," The glow of the coin shifts and changes colors in your hands, giving off an almost mystical wave of magic you've never felt before. Whoever made this coin had to have been powerful. You take a deep breath and look at the coin with determination.

"Show me the truth!" The glow envelopes you and when you open your eyes, you're shocked at what lays before you. The dark figure that haunts your dreams at night looms over your dead sister, red-stained blade in hand and a mask over his face.

You step closer, the classic mask of the fatui on the hooded mans' face making his eyes glow white in the darkness. His stature is much smaller than yours, and his outline seems to be that of a boy. At the time it would have been easy for you to confuse him with a man, being he would have been taller than you. But now that you're an adult, you can clearly see his youth. He smirks and laughs down at your little sister's body while whipping the knife on his sleeve.

"You should never have crossed the Fatui." Your heart drops as the young boy removes his mask revealing ocean blue eyes. The eyes of your lover that you adore on the face of the person that you've despised for years. A woman appears next to him, the same woman you've seen him speak to on many occasions but have never spoken to yourself.

"Good work, Tartaglia. You've proven yourself useful to the Tsaritsa after all. But your job here is not done," Childe looks up at the taller woman, his face determined.

"The other daughter has left to fetch water. Unfortunately, there are too many knights around on patrol to take her. Dispose of the body, and return at once." Childe bows to the woman and she smiles wickedly.

"Yes, Signora. Anything for the Tsaritsa." She leaves, and Childe begins to wrap up the young girl's body in a blanket. He stops suddenly, lifting his head up as young _____ approaches from over the hill. Childe smirks, fixing his mask and hood back on properly.

"Until next time, _____." He says and begins to run.

You gasp as the light invades your sight again and you're returned to the present. Your heart is beating a mile a minute and your breathing begins to pick up. The realization is overwhelming, and the shock is preventing you from crying.

Tartaglia was the one this whole time? It can't be, it just can't! You love him, and he loves you, he says so all the time. Has he lied to you this whole time? Has he just been keeping you close to screw with you before breaking your heart and killing you? That coin has to be lying. There's no way your Tar would ever do something like that, especially to you! He tells you everything. There are no secrets between the two of you.

Right?

The clock on the wall says that it's seven-o-clock, usually when Childe gets off of work. You don't want to be here; you can't be here. How can you face him after seeing that, even if it was a lie? You quickly run up to your shared bedroom and grab your adventuring bag, filling it with few essentials.

Where will you even go? There's nowhere in Liyue where Childe can't find you. Even across Teyvat, the Fatui have eyes and ears. You just need some time to reflect, get your barrings, and confront him. If you'll confront him. This has to be some kind of joke, or lie placed by some unknown power to question your love for him. There's no way he could have-

"What are you doing, _____?" You gasp, started by Childe suddenly behind you, blocking the exit to your room.

"Tar, you scared me!" You say shakily, holding your bag close to your chest. He smiles his usual caring smile at you, but all you can see is the smirk he held while staring down at your little sister.

"Sorry, my love. I got off of work early like I said I would. Is that why you have your bag?" His ocean blue eyes dart down to your bag and back up to you again. You subconsciously grip the bag tighter, Childe noticing.

"N-No. I accepted a commission last minute." The lie slips out like acid on your tongue.

You've never lied to him before, and it feels wrong. But you have to get out of here. Every alarm bell in your body is screaming at you to run as fast as you can away from the man you love.

His brow furrows a bit with concern and he takes a step closer to you, but you take one back.

"This isn't about what happened today, is it?" He sighs and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, it's just I don't like it when people falsely accuse me of things. I kinda slipped into Harbinger mode for a sec there." He laughs, again trying to come closer to you, you step back.

"Are they false though?" The question falls from your lips before you realize it, and Childe's eyes widen in surprise.

"_____, you can't be serious? You know I would never lie to you-"

"How do I know that, Childe?" You've never called him Childe, and it shows from the shock on his face when you do.

"What are you going on about? I could never-"

"Get away from me!" You yell at the Harbinger, tears finally falling from your eyes. There's no way you could be near him like this, knowing that he could have . . .

"Why? I love you, I won't hurt you." You try to steady your breathing as he slowly inches closer, treating you as of your a wild animal he wants to tame.

"You don't love me." You shake your head, gripping your backpack with white knuckles.

"What?" The question comes out as a whisper from the man's mouth in disbelief, hoping he didn't hear you properly.

"You don't love me!" You say one again, louder, confirming what he has hoped wasn't true.

"_____," Childe tries to come closer, but you shove past him and run to the front door. Before you can grab the handle, Childe grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around.

"Please, _____," His eyes are glassy with unshed tears as he gazes into your own.

"Tell me what I did to make you think this way?" You sob, hands pushing on his chest to break free but failing. You can barely breathe as the sobs rack through your body.

"You-" Trying to get the words out only makes you cry harder as the realization hits you. All the rumors are true. The Fatui are evil, conniving, and uncaring. They kill, pillage, experiment, torture, and don't care about who they have to step on to get their way. And your boyfriend, the love of your life, the man you wanted to marry and start a family of your own with, is one of them.

"You killed my little sister!" Your hands ball into fists and punch his chest as hard as you can, but in your state, you have barely any power.

"My baby sister is dead because of you! How could you?" You managed to get out through your tears, finally breaking down in the arms of the man you've despised for years.

Childe stares at you, unbelieving. He pulls you into a tight hug, crying on your shoulder, continuously apologizing. Never in your life have you seen Childe cry. Even when talking about how much he misses his family or his country, the farthest he gets is a sentimental smile and longing. Never have you thought you'd see him cry either. It's almost enough to make you forget that he's practically admitted to the murder.

He killed your only sister. How do you know he's sincere with his tears as he holds you close and begs you not to go? You've seen him lie before, never to you, but if he kept this secret for so long, what else has he been hiding? But none of that matters right now. The man you've been searching for years for, who you wanted to kill with your own bare hands, is the same person holding you so tenderly now.

How could you forget the countless nights you've woken up from nightmares of that boy coming to kill you and finish what he stared, only for Tartaglia to wake you up and hold you close, promising that he'd protect you? Every year when you mourn your sister and confide in him about how you were going to find that monster no matter what it took, did he fear you'd ever find out and kill him?

Is that why he kept you close for so long, to make sure you'd be too weak for him with love to ever even try? How can you love someone who killed your sister? It's easy to just assume you'd hate him, but for some odd reason, a little voice in the back of your mind is telling you to trust him and love him like you always had.

Another voice is telling you to end his life with no mercy and finally bring your sister to the peace she deserves.

Gathering up your strength, you manage to push him off of you.

"_____, no," He's in a state you've never seen before, face wet with tears, nose running, eyes puffy. But, he doesn't try to pull you back in.

You swiftly grab your bag and leave the house and Childe behind.

-------------

"_____," Your cousin John calls your name, pinching the bridge of his nose. He watches as you continuously use your vision to destroy training dummies.

"You continue this and the knights aren't going to have anything left to train with." You stop temporarily to glare at him.

"I'm training."

"So it seems." He watches as you continue your 'training.'

"You know, this doesn't seem healthy. I'm no doctor or anything, but, maybe you should, like, not?" You sigh irritated and cross your arms.

"Not what, John?" He gestures to the broken wood pieces scattered around the courtyard. You roll your eyes.

"I'm doing no worse than the average rookie knight!" John nods, leaning up against the wall.

"Yeah, yeah, except no. Why? Thank you for asking, cause your not a rookie and you're upset, at what? I don't know because you refuse to tell me. All I know is that my cousin is back after being gone for three years and the-," John looks around before stepping closer and lowering his voice.

"The Fatui in town have been eying us up everywhere we go. What the hell happened while you were in Liyue?" You bite your lip and message your wrists. The tips of your fingers have begun to turn purple from the cold, but you hardly seem affected. John pats you on the back and leads you inside the knight's headquarters.

"Look, I know we were never very close, and when you lived with us, we barely spoke, but I'm here now. We're not kids anymore, _____." The two of you sit down in the library. The three years you lived with your uncle and cousin were your worst. They treated you nice, but you were grieving and took it out on them and many training dummies. It seems you've done the same again.

"I'm sorry, it's just . . ." What happened with Childe months ago is still fresh on your mind. You haven't seen him since you left that night, and you aren't sure if you want to. You're conflicted. You thought coming back to Mondstadt would help you clear your mind and help you decide what to do, but you can't, and it's frustrating.

Despite how hard you've tried . . . You still love Tartaglia with all of your heart. But you can't forget what he did. You could never forgive him either. You've held hatred for this man for six years now, and every waking moment has been used to devise a plan to find him and kill him. But you can't kill him; not when you still hold these feelings.

If this was his goal, then he succeeded. You know he knows you're in Mondstadt. As John said, the Fatui have had their eyes on you since you showed up. You wouldn't be surprised if they all have you listed as a threat. After all, being one of their high-ranking officer's vengeful lover with intent and reason to kill would put anyone on a list.

But, with that said, he hasn't tried to contact you. No letters, no passing of words, hell, no carrier pigeons. He's extra enough to do that. And this has caused you to feel even more upset. Cause you still love the man, and there's some hope still there that he meant what he said and he does love you and the fact he hasn't done anything is killing you.

"_____, you good?" You snap out of your daze and nod.

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

"You seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Please, what's going on with you?" You decide it's best to tell your cousin the truth.

You explain to him the situation. How you fell in love, what life was like for you the three years you were gone, the coin, and finding out the killer's identity. John looks at you in shock.

"Wow, that's a lot. And this is why you came back?"

"Yeah, I know. I should have come back sooner to at least visit, but," John cuts you off and waves his hands.

"No, you're fine. I mean, it would have been nice to see you, but that's irrelevant right now. You found out your boyfriend, a Fatui Harbinger, was the one that killed your sister, and you're here? Doing what? Destroying Favonius property?" You agree hesitantly.

"I mean, when you put it like that, it sounds odd."

"No, _____, odd is an understatement. Why are you here? You should be getting answers, slapping people, storming Snezhnaya! Actually, don't do that last one, that could get us in a lot of trouble."

"True," You agree.

"Honestly, I don't know what to do. Do I confront him? I mean, if he did kill her, which I'm about 90% sure at this point that he did, do I get revenge? I've wanted to for years, but I know that I could never kill him." John takes your hand in his and speaks with sincerity.

"You love him, I get that, but you can't let that get in the way of things."

"No, I mean, I literally couldn't kill him. He's a beast in battle, and could probably end me without even blinking. I've seen him take on multiple ruin guards in seconds, like, he's on a whole nother level." You sigh and put your head in your hands.

"But even despite that, I do still love him. At this point, I feel the best thing to do is to just move on. Go my own way and let him go his."

"And what about your sister, huh? Just gonna forget about her?" You look at him questioningly.

"Look, you need to at least get closure. Obviously, he doesn't want you dead, because you would have been so by now. I can't even tell you how many times the Fatui could have nabbed you, gagged you, and sacked you since you've been back."

"Gee, thanks John, that really makes me feel better about the situation." He rolls his eyes.

"Talk to the man, _____. There will always be a home here waiting for you to come back to." Maybe your cousin is right? If Childe did want you dead, you know damn well he has the power to have made it happen. But how would you even react when you see him? The only way to find out is to get it over with.

With newfound enthusiasm, you jump up from your position and slam your hands on the table.

"Alright, I'm gonna go! I'm gonna talk with Tartaglia and I'm gonna punch him at least once!"

"That's the spirit!" A series of loud shooshes sound around the library and you slowly sit back down.

"Sorry!"

You and your cousin John devise a plan over the next few days. You're still unsure about this whole thing, but with encouragement from John, you gain the confidence you need to push through.

In the end, you decide the best thing to do is to sneak out of Mondstadt without any Fatui seeing you. It's still dangerous to speak with him, and the two of you decide the safest thing is to get him unprepared and off guard. If he's not expecting you, he has no time to plan. Not that he needs a plan to kill you, he could just do it. But still-

As the sun seeps down past the hills and flatlands of Mondstadt, John and you make your way out of headquarters and down to the main part of town.

"You know what sounds so amazing right now? A tall mug of cider from Angel's Share!" John exclaims and grabs your arm. The two of you practically run towards the tavern, gaining looks from the other citizens.

"Cool it, John," You whisper yell to him as you head inside.

"You wanna actually look suspicious?" He laughs, sitting down at a table in the back.

"Sorry if I'm not good at being convincing. Dad always said acting would be my downfall."

"When would you ever have to act to be a knight?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"Right now?" Okay, he has a point. Merely minutes after you sit down, two Fatui agents walk in after, taking a table far enough away, but close enough to keep you in their sights.

"Don't worry, _____," Your cousin says, noticing your worried expression.

We'll get you out of here."

John waves his hand and gains the attention of Master Diluc as he's walking around the tavern.

"We'd like two Valberry Whiskey's please!" Your cousin asks loudly and winks. Diluc rolls his eyes and heads towards the back of the tavern, getting the 'drinks.'

It was a miracle and a half that John was able to convince Master Diluc to help you. But John said he owed him a favor. For what, you have no idea. Not even a second later, a young bard runs over to your table and slams his hands down.

"What did you just order?"

"Uh," You look to your cousin for guidance. The drink was simply a code, not an actual order.

"Valberry Whiskey?" The young bard looks at you in amazement. He's clearly drunk, but the sheer excitement in his eyes seems to sober him up enough to eagerly rush to the bar counter.

"A new drink! And Diluc didn't tell me?!" His shouts of joy gain the attention of the entire bar.

"A new drink?!"

"One not on the menu?"

"Master Diluc!"

Your cousin and you share a look as the crowd goes wild, rushing towards the front bar and to the back looking for Diluc to inquire about this new drink. The few Fatui agents that had followed you in stand up from their seat to get a better view of you and John. John grabs your arm and pulls you into the crowd, the Fatui agents desperately searching for your whereabouts.

"This way, _____." He pulls you farther and farther away from the Fatui till you feel another hand grab you and pull you out of the back entrance to the tavern.

"Hey, watch your hands, buddy!"

"Would you rather still be in there then, _____?" You smile nervously up at Diluc, who's handing you a bag and cloak.

"Things didn't exactly go as planned, huh?" The redhead smirks and crosses his arms.

"I knew that bard would be in here tonight. Drunk off his ass, he wouldn't be able to resist the call of a new drink item." You laugh, pulling the hood over your head.

"Thank you, Diluc." He gives you a rare smile and nods. You begin to walk off but stop, looking back at the tavern owner.

"Hey Diluc, what was the favor for?" Diluc sighs and pinches between his eyes.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

__________________

The journey back to Liyue is a tiring one. It seems a lot closer than it actually is on the map, but heading to the main harbor is always a task. Thankfully, you're able to make your rations last the whole trip, and as you enter the harbor in the wee hours of the night, you smile at the familiar buildings. You may have only been gone for a few months, but this was your home for the last three years.

Your home with Tartaglia . . . You pull your hood farther down your head and try to remain in the shadows. Despite the time of night, the area is still bustling with people. Merchants making deals, ships delivering goods, the whole nine yards.

You flatten yourself against a wall as a few Fatui agents walk past. The place is absolutely crawling with Fatui, even more so than usual. Could it have something to do with you? You doubt it. Harbinger or not, Tartaglia could get in serious trouble for using Fatui resources in such a way.

You carefully slide through cracks and crevises, branches and bushes, trying to stay out of any Fatui sights. Eventually, you find yourself on the outskirts of the city, not far from your shared home. It surprisingly takes a lot from you to not run straight for it. You miss your house. You miss your bed. You miss Tartaglia.

But now is not the time to get sentimental!

You still need to confront him about what he did. And depending on his answer, one of you may not make it through the night. You keep yourself stealthy as you enter the house from the back. He's not home, which is good. But the place is in disarray. Furniture turned upside down, plates smashed against walls, everything caked in dust. It's hard to believe he's been living here if he even has been.

If that's the case, you may have to go looking for him. You look around the house at the disaster. He may have been trying to look for something; maybe a clue to what you had planned or something to use against you.

With that in mind, you run up the stairs to the master bedroom and open the closet. You fear the worst but are surprised to find your sister's belongings still in place.

Surely he would have found them in here.

The bedroom isn't as bad as the bottom floor, though still a mess. The bed is unmade, with a small pile of your clothes on your side of the bed, and his clothes on the floor. All of your things, besides the clothes, are still neatly in their places. Pictures of you and him together that were once on the walls are now on his nightstand, face up and smudged with fingerprints.

"What the hell happened here?" The sound of the front door opening startles you. Could that be Childe? There's no way he's living like this!

Footsteps move across the floor, into the kitchen, into the living room, and slowly up the stairs. Whoever it is, your about to face them.

The door opens slowly, almost torturously so. Soon, the sunken and sullen face of your lover is in your view, and even faster, your on the floor with a knife made of hydro to your throat. Your hood continues to obscure your identity as Childe pins you down.

"Bold of you to break into the home of a Fatui Harbinger! What did you expect?" With the pressure from the knife digging deeper and deeper into your skin, you freeze the hand wrapped around his holding the knife, and kick your leg out. Childe falls over, dropping his weapon which shatters on impact. Before you can get your bearings, he's lunging at you again. He grabs you from behind and holds you in a chokehold.

"Your fast, but you'll never be fast enough!" You gasp for air, holding onto his arm as it's wrapped around your neck. He's trying to kill you, you know he is. All the times you've sparred with him, you knew he was holding back, but he's definitely not this time. Even so, his hold on you is weak. Weak for him, at least.

You rear your elbow into his stomach as hard as you can knocking him back and you summon your catalyst. As he said, he's faster than you, but before he can get back, you place a wall of ice between him and yourself. It's not enough to hold him back for long, but enough to catch your breath. He laughs as he can hear you choking, attempting to regain your oxygen.

"You think this little wall will stop me?" He attacks the wall with his fist, making a section crumble. Your breathing is fast, but you can't seem to gain enough breath to speak. As he crumbles your wall piece by piece, you pull back your hood and lean on the bedroom wall behind you. Finally, he lands the finishing blow and the ice dissipates in a gust of cryo magic. The crazed look of bloodlust vanishes from his face the instant he sees you, hand on your throat, and your breath heavy.

"___-," He can hardly finish his whisper as he lets out a shaky breath. With the tense atmosphere suddenly calm, you're able to regain your breath and look up at the man. His skin a pale and his eyes are dull. He has large dark circles under his eyes and he looks a bit thinner than normal.

"_____," He manages to get out, still shocked you're actually here.

"Are you okay?" You shake your head.

"You haven't seen me in months and that's the first thing you say to me?" He rubs the back of his neck and looks down, ashamed.

"I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry if I hurt you." You can hardly believe what you're seeing. He seems broken, utterly defeated. If he hadn't fought you just now, you'd assume he'd fall over with the breeze.

Looking at him now, it's hard to believe he's the same man that killed your sister.

"We need to talk." He nods, refusing to meet your eyes.

"You need to tell me the truth, Tar," He takes in a shuddering breath at your words.

"All these years, I've been beside you. I've stood up for you, I've loved you. I told you all my darkest secrets and nightmares. Not once did I ever lie to you."

Tears come to his eyes just as they do yours. He bites his lip to prevent the tears from falling. You step closer to him, dropping your cloak, and put your hands up to his face. He flinches away from you but relaxes when your palms cup his cheeks and he finally looks you in the eyes.

"Over the past few months, I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you. And no matter what scenario I came up with, I could never tell if I was doing the right thing. But, even though I carry some semblance of anger, I know that what I feel for you is real. And with that, I still hold hope that you feel the same and it wasn't all just a lie."

He grabs your hands, the tears now falling one by one down his pale cheeks.

"I swear to all the Archons that I love you! I never lied about that!" You hesitate for a moment, blinking away your own tears.

"And though I don't want to, I believe you," You rub your thumbs across his face, clearing some of the tears.

"But I need you to tell me everything." Tartaglia closes his eyes. He never dreamed in a million years he'd have to tell you this story. He'd hoped that you'd live in blissful ignorance for the rest of your life with him. But the gods had another plan for him and you, and he prays that at least one of them will let him keep you. Even if that's a selfish request.

"I joined the Fatui when I was young. I was constantly trying to prove myself to Signora and the Tsaritsa that I was willing to do anything they asked me. I still am," He looks at you with regretful and sorrowful eyes as he recalls the past.

"Your parents had fled Snezhnaya when you were born, because of a debt they racked up with the Fatui. When they were found in Fontaine, it was revealed that they were working for a group of rebels intent on infiltrating Snezhnaya. It was my job to take you and your sister to use as leverage on your parents. But, your sister fought back," You release his face and look away, finding it harder to keep eye contact with him.

"I wasn't as skilled as I am now, and I panicked. But La Signora said I did a good job. I didn't know that your parents had already been killed by the rebels, and neither did the Fatui. Not until after we had left you. At that point, there was no reason to continue after you. But you were never forgotten about. And when you came to Liyue, I was instructed to keep an eye on you," Childe lifts his arms up and places his hands on your shoulders.

"But I never expected to fall in love with you." You look into his ocean blue eyes and are overcome by the warmth they hold for you.

"The day I met you, I could feel it, and I tried so hard to forget about it, but you were just so . . . Amazing, and beautiful, and kind. I never expected that from you. You never once judged me or ridiculed me, even though you knew who I was. I thanked the Archons every day that you came into my life, and I prayed that you'd never find out what I'd done."

A sob breaks through as he wipes the tears running down his face. All the years you harbored hatred for this man, you never once thought about what he could have been going through. It's true that this doesn't excuse his actions, but to know that he truly regrets what he did brings you some kind of closure. In the end, revenge would have never made you feel better. Your sister wouldn't have wanted that.

You love Tartaglia with all your heart, and in this world, it's better to forgive than to let it eat away at you any longer.

"Tartaglia," His name comes out as a whisper with your breath, but he hears you loud and clear. The fear of rejection in his eyes tells you everything you need to know as you carefully speak to him.

"I forgive you." He cries, pulling you to his chest and you hug him back. Unfortunately for him, you weren't finished.

"But, I need some time to think about this. I love you; I never stopped loving you, and I always will," You pull back and smile at him before gently kissing his chapped lips.

"I'm going back to Mondstadt, but I'll be back. You just need to give me some time." He smiles as best he can and nods enthusiastically.

"I'd give you all the time in the world if I could." He moves to kiss you again, but you put a finger up to his lips to stop him.

"Save it for later, Tar." He laughs, looking back up at you with bright eyes.

"So, there's a later?"

(A little something extra. It doesn't quite fit to be an ending, but more like an epilogue just tying things together I guess lol.)

___________________

You sigh as you sling your bag over your shoulder. It's been a good few months back in Mondstadt after your reconciliation with Childe, and you've decided it's time to go home. You've kept in regular contact with him since you've been here, writing letters to each other like new lovers. You found the whole thing quite cute, despite the circumstances. He's been regarding you with caution, taking things one step at a time, and never pushing you past any limits you set. You're grateful for that.

"You sure you wanna go back? You can always stay a bit longer, just to give yourself a bit more time to think it over." John says, arms crossed and head down. You two have grown closer over your time spent here. It's a shame to think you were so caught up in your misery to be blind to the best friend you could have had. And it's tough to say goodbye, now that you've grown attached.

"I'm sure. You don't have to miss me too much, ya know? I'll be back to visit, and I'll write every week!" John huffs.

"You better, or I'm coming over there and kicking that Fatui's ass for keeping you away! I don't care how many ruin guards he can take on!" You laugh and pull him into a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you." He hugs you back, holding you tight.

"Yeah, I know." You roll your eyes and wave goodbye to the family you didn't realize you had.

Once back in Liyue, you get settled into your home with Childe. Thankfully, he cleaned up the mess he made while you were gone. He had said he was so distraught at the thought of you leaving him, he trashed the place in anger. Not anger from you, but anger at himself. He was afraid you'd think he was a monster, that he was heartless, and that you'd never want to see him again.

He was relieved when he heard you were in Mondstadt. There, he could keep an eye on you. One of the things he was afraid of was you doing something to yourself due to the pain of it all . . . If you did that, he wouldn't know how to cope. And when he received word that you had disappeared from Mond, well, he thought that fear had come true. But in the end, things worked out. You could never forget what he did, nor do you want to. It's something you have to live with, just like he does, and it's up to you to put it aside.

You know there are many things he's done that he's not proud of. Many things of which he promises to tell you when he's ready. And you'll be there to listen as he spills his heart out to you.

You take in a breath of air as you enter the harbor, smelling the salty water of the ocean and the wonderful herbs being brought in from traveling merchants. You'll never get over these smells.

"_____!" You look over your shoulder, surprised as Chen runs over to you. You haven't seen her since the incident outside of town.

"Chen! Are you okay?" She smiles and hugs you.

"I'm doing great! My brother and I have been selling a lot more of our goods since he's been back, and business has been booming!"

"Your brother?" You tilt your head.

"Yes!" She nods enthusiastically.

"He did go to Lingju Pass as Childe had said. It turns out, he had a buyer out there but didn't want to tell me in case the deal went south. I overreacted. . ." She puts her head down in shame.

"All the rumors about the Fatui got to my head, and I assumed the worst. But Childe went out and found my brother for me. Can you please tell him I said thank you? Also that I'm sorry. I really owe him one."

You pat her on the head, relieved.

"Of course, Chen." She reaches into her pocket and pulls something out.

"For payment-"

"No!" You shove her hand away.

"Gotta go! I'm late to see Tar!" You sprint off, leaving a confused Chen in your wake.

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