#who really am I tho?

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[ryllen]

overblot grim with Yuu who accidentally get carried on his back

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #twst grim #twst mc #fanart #overblot #overblot grim #i still give him his magic gem bcs it looks more endearing like it's really the grim we used to know #i was imagining yuu who is riding overblot grim on his back but maybe accidentally because grim suddenly changed form while yuu was #holding him on the back because it'd be too OP otherwise #the most horrendous body part of overblot grim is actually the human-like hands seriously fshd #ride him ride him like a motorcycle #is the game gonna end soon tho? #like i think the japanese version has reached malleus story already #then after that it'll be grim #and then what? maybe only continuing on more events? #i am so lat e to join in seriously fshd #after what? their third anniversary? wait FOURTH they have four birthday attires already #i kinda think that the hands are part of vil just because the hands look beautiful fsdshd

[sukerokus]

#mignon #mignonedit #.gif #2 edits in one day who am i #but no more now LOL i done #i had to do this scene tho it brok my heart :"( #n idk y i love the voice acting sm they did such an amazing job #made it really emotional #the soundtrack too tbh #.all

[pineapple-frenzy]

Ahaha I missed zutara week again this year :'> I was way busier this week than I thought I would be. Thank god my prof moved the deadline cause ain't no way can I finish an animation by tonight ajskaidlsk anyways, since the deadline got moved I decided to take a break from it and draw some zk :>> happy zutara week!!

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #zutara week 2023 #my art #i drew them in my softer style cause i am soft for them :'>> #i think they always look a bit older and more mature in this style even tho i only really change the brushes i use when i draw in this styl #it's just different brushes but the look and feel to it is different from how i draw now with different brushes i think #or maybe i'm just tripping and my art looks the same regardless of what brushes i use aidlajdlajsk #anyways yeah happy zk week!! sorry for missing it again this year :'>> #thank you to my classmate who talked to our prof for an extension akdjlakdkak #i couldn't have drawn this today and would have been cramming right now :'>> #i'm gonna rb some old zk art later to make up for missing this year's zk week djaldjlaksk

[scribbling-dragon]

missing ranchers forever and ever and ever (a redraw of THIS from a year ago)

[click for better quality! + closeups under the cut]

#i haaaate drawing shirts. i hate them i hate their stupid sleeves #and their stupid collars. it doesnt make sense and its stupid and difficult #its why i never give tango any. i cant do it more than once #anyway. RANCHERS! in honour of the wip currently sat at 10k that made me sad abt double life again (it's fluff. why am i sad) #juno.art #double life smp #dlsmp #jimmy solidarity #tango tek #tango tek fanart #jimmy solidarity fanart #double life fanart #life series #trafficblr #traffic series #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #tangotek #life series fanart #also yeah i kept tango's colours the same as his secret life ones. he just looks really nice with the pinks etc #(dedicating this to my mother too. who looked and went “aw what a lovely bf and gf” #and then stared at me awkwardly when i said neither of them were the gf. she did like the drawing tho

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it #jin guangyao #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking #i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom #and with this book #almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy #even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs #but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun #(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously) #but he is just. /clenches my fists!!! #THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!! #who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war? #who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist #an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist #whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate #the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life? #who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose #to interpret that obsession? #no one!!! that's who!! #ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact

[turtleblogatlast]

Man I wish we got more of the turtle tots especially their “slightly older turtle tots” designs, because they are so cute

#rottmnt #yes I say this because I was rewatching a scene of them to tell if my deleted post was actually wrong lmao rip my dignity #tho tbh I don’t think what I said was entirely incorrect if you interpret the footage differently but I def forgot some parts rip #but tbh it would have been more of a theory to play with than fact like I’d misinterpreted/misremembered so to the trash that post goes #(ty again to the person who pointed out that I may have misunderstood lol I really do appreciate it) #anyway YEAH I love the turtle tots they’re so cute and small all of them #squishy little cheeks #the scrunklies #i am way too tired to be allowed access to the internet right now but I wanna emphasize how cute they are #their little faces…not a thought behind those eyes

[irradiatedrosegarden]

sometimes you just gotta lick the homies

#(and blatantly admit your dishonesty to them. yknow. normal friendship things) #friendship is a really strong word tho. at least for these guys #purposely gonna be vague about their relationship for now but i will say that they both consider killing the other on multiple occasions :) #and also they slow dance and kiss but that's unrelated #oh oh oh i should say for those who don't know - daisy (my courier) is a trans woman and uses she/her pronouns #she's got a bit of a beard here but that's bc the only sharp things in the sierra madre are knives #and lies #but those aren't great for shaving #:) #new vegas #dead money #fallout new vegas #fnv #dean domino #daisy correa #courier six #irradiated art #i loveeeeeeeee dead money so much i am kissing the entire dlc on the mouth #dead money <33333333 #forced cooperation between a group whose only motive to help the others (at least initially) is that if they don't they die <3333333 #a fuckn casino heist <333 !!!!! hello. insane dlc concept. insane execution (/pos). i love it to bits it makes me so sad and so so so hyped

[reineydraws]

mishanks lotr au wip inspired by the march of the fellowship by divinesleep_24 on ao3 :) it's slow burn zolu + established mishanks! this piece is based on screenshots from the aragorn/arwen wedding ✨️✨️

#one piece #one piece fanart #fic recs #akataka #mishanks #opla #opla fanart #bc i actually think shanks kinda looks like mr gadiot in this lol go me 🎉 we'll see if that lasts 😂 #dracule mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #i never do this style. semi-realism + painting??? who am i??????? #im really happy with how shanks's gaze looks. there's like. a light there. #i struggled a lot with mihawk's eyes tho 😭😭😭 #we'll see if i continue working on this. it's fun tho!!! #idk if u can tell but this is a mishanks blog now hashtag sorry not sorry

[crybaby-bkg]

Bakugou finds himself trying to live up to an expectation he never thought he would have to—being some kind of sex god. He’s not really sure how this rumor started, or from who, seeing as most of his experiences were with close friends that he knew didn’t run their mouths about his sex life. But after so much ‘news’ being spread about his uncanny abilities in the bed, he finds himself trying to live up to its expectations.

Which makes sex with you…entirely too awkward. It’s not that he doesn’t wanna do it, or that he’s not attracted to you (couldn’t be farther from the truth, actually). It’s the fact that he’s sure you’ve heard the rumors, read the stories from tabloids and shitty Reddit posts. You must have, with the way you smile all sultry up at him and rub a hand down his bicep and grin all prettily at him.

It’s why he cusses extremely loud in the otherwise quiet room when he’s above you, and slips. He’s still not sure how it happened; you were laying beneath him and he was on his knees in between your legs, resting his weight on his hands beside your head. He knows it couldn’t have been a strength thing, with his arms giving out, but he’s embarrassed nonetheless.

Especially when the slip makes his head knock against yours.

You groan loudly, rubbing your head as Bakugou cusses again, pulling his body weight from on top of you as he sits on his knees. He’s irritated now, at his stupidity, at the weight of being better than he knew he actually was weighing on him so heavily, that it’s fucked up your first time together. He opens his mouth to apologize, ask if you want him to drop you off back at home, but he stops himself when he sees your wide grin and hears your quiet laughter.

“Me almost knocking you unconscious with my head is funny to you?” He asks accusingly, but he can’t help the small smile tugging his lips when his words only make you laugh louder. You nod at him, giggling all the while you pull him down on top of you again. He gives a little resistance before he falls onto you until his nose brushes yours.

“Yes, actually.” You chuckle, soft eyes searching his. “It’s nice to see that Dynamight is actually human, and still occasionally fucks up.” You whisper, smile diminishing but genuine all the while. It makes Bakugou soften, a huff escaping his nose as he mashes his lips against yours until you feel teeth and giggle again.

“I never fuck up,” he grunts against your mouth, smiling when he feels your smile against his own.

“Tell that to the knot on my forehead.” You snark back before he’s pulling you in again.

Realistic sex with him includes the time you both laughed when you released too much air while in doggy position and it made a funny sound. And when he accidentally stumbled while carrying you and you bit his lip too hard to be sexy. And when he collapsed from exhaustion on top of you after trying to initiate, instead finding comfort in pulling out of you so you two could just cuddle instead.

#I am so sleepy goodnigj #I love him sm tho #I thought about this a few days ago #and was like wow I love realistic seggs mainly bc you don’t see it often in fiction #which is TOTALLY fine by me lmfao but I like it #he has so much pressure to be perfect and inhuman and godly in a sense #that it’s just nice to see he’s really just some dude who’s working on himself and trying to better for those around him #and for his own peace of mind #okay gn fr #I had a touya Drabble I wanted to write but I can’t open my eyes fully #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[ryllen]

this PSA is brought to u, by first year farmer ・゚ *✧

#fsds just kidding i love how welcoming robin was too; even offering table with her family during the stardew valley eve #but no red carpet can be more welcoming than local grandma who smells like flowers and cookies and take u as her grandchild from day 1 #i thought linus was sketchy at first but then i almost cry because he is the only one drag me back home when i am dying in mine alone #with no one knowing or care where am i #sdv #stardew valley #sdv evelyn #sdv farmer #stardew evelyn #stardew farmer #stardew valley evelyn #stardew valley farmer #fanart #surely it was sketchy at first the way ur money and things are gone #but after knowing linus u get to trust him that he was sincere helping u #it really was like this homeless man cares for me more than anyone in this village #*tho reasonable bcs he's the only one actively foraging for things to live & coincidentally u are one of the thing he found #but i can imagine by the way i was playing; first few months arriving at the valley farmer just keep spending time sitting beside linus #contemplating about life #like second homeless person in the valley #if there's a popularity poll for stardew villagers; evelyn should be top number 1 no discussion #for someone who started stardew valley without any interest of the bachelor/rettes this is how i feel

[gnecrognomicon]

Cannot get the idea out of my head of an AU where, instead of being thrown in jail after the duel, through some convoluted series of events Elhokar manages to get Kaladin strung up in a highstorm. This is PURELY for the comedic potential of him going outside after the highstorm to see Kaladin, sitting outside totally unharmed, eating stew, looking at him like 😐

#who am i kidding tho. he would be grandstanding #stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #elhokar kholin #words of radiance #adolin goes ''wow. starting to think theres something really weird about this dude''

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOOH BABY THIS ONE WAS A LONG TIME COMING. NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE!!

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A DAY LIKE ANY OTHER. A DAY OF ADVENTURE WITH YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS. OH HOW TIGHTLY YOU HOLD THEM TO YOUR CHEST, AND OH HOW TERRIFYING IT IS TO WATCH THEM GET EVISCERATED BY SOMETHING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. MAYBE IF YOU JUST LISTENED A BIT MORE, IF YOU LET THE SMART ONE LEAD THE CHARGE, THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED. ONCE AGAIN YOUR IMPULSIVENESS LEADS TO DISASTER. HEAR ME NOW, YOUNG TIDESTRIDER, YOUR STUPIDITY WILL BRING THE DEMISE OF EVERYTHING YOU WERE BORN AND FORGED TO PROTECT. HOW COULD THE PROPHECY HAVE CHOSEN SOMEONE SO USELESS? I BET YOU WISH YOU CHOSE THE RIGHT LEVER. FAILURE.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwi riptide #cw gore #cw blood #cw eyestrain #THE NIGHTMARE ARC WAS CRAAAZY IVE BEEN WORKIN ON THIS SHIT SINCE THAT EP CAME OUT OHHH MY GOOOODD #ITS DONE ITS DONE I DONT CAAAARE I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE JUST TAAAAKE IT #IT WAs meant to just be a buncha silly doodles and. well. then i saw all the beautiful colors in the world #and i just really wanted to draw jay getting fucked up by a lazer #IGNOREEEE THE DIFFERING ARTSTYLES THIS HAS LITERALLY BEEN COOKING FOR MONTHS AND I AM TALENTED IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS #I LOVE COLORS!!! if you look clooosesly youll notice that gillions eyes are bright green everytime #the dream stuff is all reddish and the waking world stuff is blue #I ALSO LOve drawing tears and that weird thick blood pouring from the wounds in his chest #i also LOVE drawing Dead Eyes (eyes of some1 who is dead) poor chip lmaooo everyone point n laugh at this guy who got Power Word: killed #he care so much for gillion tho... when he was breaking jay out he was like 'we gotta save gill' BUT #THAT WAS DREAM CHIP. THATS HOW GILLION SEES CHIP.. gillion knows these two love n care for him so much AUUUUUU #MORE IDEAS: i like to think gillion knows what price looks like bc chip has shown him Via his funny magic Disguise Self Bandana #also kinda unrelated but still in this episode. ive never seen gryffon act so homosexual. admitting he goes to like. 'male service' or wate #like that was all in gills dream. does gill just see gryffon as a fruit or somethin. does he Know? #okayokay i think i got most o the worms out of my BRAIN. i just love blood and terror and horror and fear so mmuuuuch #and i hope u love it too. have a good day if you can help it

[blueteller]

THERE HE IS

THE FIRST GLIMPSE OF OUR POPE

✨CLOPEH SEKKA~! ✨

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #clopeh #clopeh sekka #tcf manhwa #i kinda adore this crazy bastard #i mean he started off as a generic villain #and he's still not a good guy really #but he's so hilarious you can't help but love him #poor cale tho #rip cale's slacker life #this dude will single handedly make sure cale never gets a break from fame ever again hahahahaha-! #....btw am i the only one who noticed that the sword is a 3d model asset lol