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#why did i even bother-
remremmm · 8 months
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h-he— he DID A FACECAM!? WHAT IN TARNATIONS IS GOING ON HERE- i really though he was going to sit this one out yet he proved me wrong- damn-
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magnusbae · 7 months
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Obsessed with how Obi-Wan calls Anakin right after having a conference call with the other Jedi Masters because the moment Anakin said he'll do as 'instructed' Obi-Wan knew with absolute confidence that the little shit will most certainly not do as instructed
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egophiliac · 1 year
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more masquerade stuff! things really went from 0 to 1000 in, like, thirty seconds.
(sorry if none of these make sense outside of my head)
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cordeliawhohung · 1 month
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anyway violent reminder that i'm going to be blocking anyone who doesn't even bother to say anything about my works but "part 2?"
because honestly, why would i put in effort to feed an insatiable beast? if you read a 100k+ word story and all you have to say about it is asking when the next part is coming out, or part 2? or demanding what i need to put in the next part, then you don't even fucking deserve to read the story anymore. i'm done being nice about it and i'm not sorry either. some of you guys literally make me want to stop posting my shit like grow up and learn to actually interact with people.
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idk-bruh-20 · 1 year
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Irondad fic ideas #102
When Flash first overhears Peter talking about the "Stark Internship," he rolls his eyes and thinks, "Of course he'd go with that excuse at Midtown School of Science and Technology."
Whatever. Flash knows the truth. He's seen the car that Parker gets picked up in, seen the body guard / chauffeur and the absolutely insane amount of discrete safety tech he always has on. Flash is convinced that the whole orphan thing is just a cover story and Peter secretly has parents at least as rich and influential as Flash's own.
Maybe they're politicians or the mob or something, and that's why all the secrecy. Honestly, Flash is doing him a favor by bullying him all the time for being an unimportant orphan. It's the perfect cover. Maybe he'll even drop the ridiculous Stark Industries lie and come up with a more believable backstory soon.
Then, one day Flash and Peter end up in a kidnapping situation.
The kidnappers take Flash's watch, but they leave some of Peter's tech since it's better hidden. As soon as they're alone, Flash expects Peter to hit that panic button and get them the hell out of there.
Only... he doesn't? Did Peter learn nothing from K&R training? Flash reaches over and hits the secret panic button 3 times immediately, no hesitation. Peter is shocked. Flash is like, "Oh come on, I obviously know your secret."
He's kind of curious and excited now to see who Peter's secret parents are, once the cops get them out of there.
He is not at all prepared when Iron Man bursts through the door.
He's even less prepared when Tony Stark steps out of the suit and totally freaks out at Peter, hugging him and checking for injuries.
... maybe he's finally met Peter's secret parent after all.
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Sick of "Robin wouldn't date her best friend's ex". Get ready for "haha Steve i'm fucking your ex"
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lordzuuko · 1 year
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“Return my cross or else I’ll kiss you senseless.” “Guess I won’t be returning it then.”
I had to get it out of my system or else I will not know peace. XD Trigun Stampede has taken over my life and Vashwood just slapped me in the face. Print  
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jamietwat · 4 months
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Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead
And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all
Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best
Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”
And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”
And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with
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muzzleroars · 8 months
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Lucifer, as he once was
As a seraph, Lucifer was always consumed by the fire of divine love, yet his devotion ran so deep even his insides were devoured in flames. He was God's first creation, and so became His assistant in forming the primordial chaos which later evolved into his role as Prince of Angels. However, Lucifer was soon rejected from Heaven for his rebellion against God's rule - the narrative would see him twisted into a prideful and arrogant traitor, yet in truth Lucifer had only refused to accept Hell as a part of an all-good creation due to its inherent cruelty. For calling God's Goodness into question, Lucifer became the first resident of the very prison he opposed and resides there still, in one form or another.
Some additional notes under the read-more
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mammalsofaction · 2 months
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HUMAN PERRY AU BACKSTORY
I've been having a lot of thoughts lately about Human Perry headcanons as I read a bunch of fic and rewatch phineas and ferb. You know you're hitting the nail on the head when scenes from a fic you might never write dog your every waking step and haunts your dreams so, I thought putting it on paper will help.
A lot of fics like to suggest that Perry's full name is Peregrine, which is understandable, but ever since I've rewatched 2D and found out their first name for him was actually Bartholomew my life was never the same. So Perry's actual name is Bartholomew. But nobody actually calls him that least of all himself.
FAMILY RELATIONS
-I really like winding headcanons that Perry is Ferb's biological mom's BROTHER, which honestly makes so much sense as to why both he and Ferb have green hair. Here are some add-ons that may get depressing;
Ferb's mom was Eve, or Evelyn. Her codename was E, for Echidna...because egg-laying mammals native to Australia. They were both orphans, and attached to the hip. They were each other's partner in crime.
-They were scouted for OWCA one day, bc the agency liked picking up kids with potential as young as possible. So Perry and Eve were trained for the agency since the start (which is why Perry is such a good agent at what seems to be a young age)
MY HEADCANONS FOR OWCA
-Owca is a largely independent authoritarian enterprise with branches all over the world. They aren't the only ones, obviously.
-OWCA also prefers training agents as early as they could. Sometimes that entails scouting talent. Sometimes that means taking in kids of employed agents. Either way, this means OWCA has elementary and high schools that are more akin to militant training camps. It's not cruel. The kids are well cared for and well fed, but OWCA prioritized competency, obedience and discipline.
On every level of OWCA recruitment, training and employment, there is a fedora, and band to mark whichever level you are on the totem pole.
1) Middle school kids are given a bandless fedora.
2) High school kids (soon to be graduates) are given a white band
3) Fresh graduates, training into full employment, are Yellow Bands. Here you start being assigned to full branches, and trained by field work professionals. Think OWCA Files.
4) It's fairly easy to graduate from Yellow Band into a Purple Band. Purple Bands are largely refereed to as Junior Agents, but that's not quite accurate. Purple Bands are the highest reporting authority in any division that ISN'T FIELD WORK. The OWCA Tech, Clerks, RnD and Science Divisions all have Purple Bands to signify they are fully employed, or Superior Officer. Pinky has a Purple Band.
5) It's VERY DIFFICULT to graduate from a Purple Band to a Black Band, not least because there IS NO PREDETERMINED TEST. Black Band agents are Superior Agents, only one level below Division General. There's no telling what could turn you from a Purple to a Black, because the agent has to prove unwavering obedience and faith to the agency in dire circumstances. It's saying "I am willing to do anything for the Greater Good."  Often it entails a death of some sort. OWCA often says Black is the band soaked in blood. Black Band agents have licenses to kill. It's why Black Band Agents are few and precious far in between.
6) After a black band, and you live long enough to retire, you can choose a bunch of things. Most agents choose to become Division Generals or Branch Managers: think Major Monogram. They're basically glorified "Guy in the Chair". Some agents choose to become educators, in which case they are given White Fedoras. White fedoras arent exclusive to black bands though; there are plenty purple band white fedoras. In fact most educators are purple band white fedoras.
-Perry's Black Band Event was Eve's death
-At the time of Eve's death, she had already been married to Lawrence. Ferb was barely a year old, maybe 10 months old?
-Lawrence was told it was a car accident: drunk driver. Truthfully it was a mission gone wrong, involving an underground child trafficking ring, and she stayed behind to give them all the chance to escape. She didn't have the chance to escape when security explosives around the building detonated, and she got caught in the crossfire. Perry had to leave her behind.
-This is why Perry refused to get a partner btw, aka his Lone Wolf tendencies come from.
-In the aftermath, OWCA agents approached the family to give them their condolences, and offer to take Ferb into the fold. For the first time since Eve's death, Perry practically lost it. He didn't hurt anyone, he's much too professional, but he knew Eve didn't want Ferb to get wrapped up in OWCA, and for good fucking reason. Due to their training, neither he nor Eve had much of a childhood, and he refused to subject Ferb to the same kind of life experience.
OWCA was NOT happy. Things were tetchy for a while, at least until Perry was approached by Major Monogram. Francis had a wife, and a son, and he understood where Perry was coming from. He suggested taking a permanent residence in Danville, which was his branch division. It was more stability than Perry ever had working in England, where he and Eve was originally stationed, and it was easy enough to come up with a work-related story to convince Lawrence, who was more than ready enough to leave the house where he and Eve originally lived.
-It was after moving did Lawrence meet and fall in love with Linda.
Edit; I've decided to change Ferb's bio mom's name bc I found something that fits better to me :) She's Eve now
End Backstory.
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atlantis-area · 6 months
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TAEMIN (Guilty 1st win, 231111)
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this may be controversial but maybe the "astarion and halsin are SO sexually traumatised that you should literally cut your own dick off before thinking abt them romantically you disgusting freaks" goon squad should consider the ramifications of essentially insisting assault survivors be permanently excluded from any kind of sex and romance bc they are too broken and stupid to be trusted to know their own desires and boundaries or have the capacity to want to explore/push them.
you know real survivors (not pixel men but real ppl like me!) can read that shit? do you think pushing the lie that encountering one (1) Genital Wielded With Intent will invariably cause us to crumble to a miserably weepy heap of dust and blow away in the breeze is appreciated or helpful? or implying the people that love or desire us are selfish at best and outright predators at worst?
i'm begging ppl to just be 2% normal about abuse survivors PLEASE. the characters aren't real but the attitude you drag from fandom back into the real world are.
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buttfrovski · 4 months
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my mom said this morning
"everybody knows you're tweek. you can't hide it. we all know."
and then went back to work in silence and i've been freaking the fuck out all day. what the fuck do u mean? u can't leave me hanging like this-
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laineystein · 4 months
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My safta never trusted goyim. To the point that she straight up did not like them. And when she left Russia to live with us in America she practically did it kicking and screaming because she didn’t want to continue living in a place surrounded by so many goyim. She’d make comments and my brothers and I would all snicker because she’d say ridiculous things about how all of the goyim hated us and how they’d all sell us out if they could. It all seemed so extreme.
I’m not laughing anymore.
My safta was absolutely right. She’d seen the violence that comes from the indifference of goyim and she was merely warning us.
You all hate us and I trust none of you.
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gayemeralds · 1 year
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every day fighting for my life because i absolutely hate any concept of shadow training sonic and helping him with his chaos abilities. sonic chaos controlled with a fake emerald after watching him once or twice while hurtling through space at terminal velocity right before the capsule would explode. he was able to establish a super form in sonic two and has been collecting these emeralds in special zones since sonic one. he’s not the guy who fell from space after using his super form in sa2. sa1 when the emeralds and master emerald were acting strange knuckles wanted to ask for sonic’s advice over the matter. i simply do not think sonic needs shadow’s help.
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2hoothoots · 11 months
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
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[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
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[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
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[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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