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inkskinned · 9 months

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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heartorbit · 3 months

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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you

#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU #project sekai #emunene #emu otori #nene kusanagi #pjsk #prsk #proseka #wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever #Gyaaaa #Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven #Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me #wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right #i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways #Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day #For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH #WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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same teacher, different lessons

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#sonic the hedgehog #dr. ivo eggman robotnik #miles tails prower #sonic frontiers #SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS #smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life #(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again #I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn #one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in #this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol #because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions #I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop #vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes #thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this #I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work #I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals #but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect #as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on #okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now #okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay #thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u #have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad #long post

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turtleblogatlast · 2 months

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Mentioned this before but as much as I adore the medic Leo headcanon, my favorite type of it is when it’s basically just Leo knowing the most surface level of stuff and carrying around a super basic first-aid kit in his pack. So he knows how to use gauze, and he’s got a ton of Jupiter Jim branded bandaids, and if you really needed it then he can hit you up with some ibuprofen but other than that? Nothing.

But. I love the idea that that changes post-invasion.

They’re pretty sturdy, all of them, so they can take more than one beating and really only need a bandaid for the fun of it. But the invasion hit harder than ice packs and “lots of rest” would help with, and I can bet that a post being beaten to a pulp Leo would have a lot of time on his hands to reflect and, maybe, learn a thing or two as he waits to get better.

It’s nothing excessive, not at first, but he watches veterinary videos, and live surgeries, and other videos in that same realm (because the books are, uh, a bit too jargon-y for him) multiple times over. Just so he knows. Just in case he needs to know.

In his pack, there’s a first-aid kit. With the use of a mini portal for extra space, the kit has grown to include everything from scalpels to butterfly stitches to sutures to even fiberglass patches.

And obviously the Jupiter Jim brand bandaids stay too.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #medic leo #I especially like the idea that his want to learn more medical stuff is also pushed by him actually wanting to be a better hero too #like if they gotta rescue squishy humans then it’s probably good for them to know how to do basic care just in case!#Leo’s portals would come in clutch for easy access to necessary medical tools #I doubt Leo would be AMAZING at it especially not so young and inexperienced and without proper teaching #but idk I like the idea that the bro who wields the only weapon specially made for killing is the one who is the medic #it’s interesting to me!#and tbh I bet all the bros learn basic first aid too #April DEFINITELY knows it #splinter absolutely knows #but yeah I just really like the hc that Leo holds the bandaids and that’s about as much medical knowledge he’s got and LATER he learns more #like the idea that little Leo desperate to figure out how to contribute wanted to be a medic but then he came to the realization #that he and his family were all WAY TOO STURDY and never really got hurt 💀#most of the time his bandaids went to Mikey who wasn’t ever hurt he just likes colorful stickers and at that point that’s all bandaids were

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raiiny-bay · 17 days

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alien emoji

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #myedits #AUverse #bow #dhestyn #kelly #sue #gaston #good news i didn't forget how to make things #this still isn't the band edit i had planned to do but idk it's kind of fun i guess #i used the blender compositor for some of the effects :-)#looking at it now it kind of ended up being an unintentional remake of that one bandAU edit i did forever ago #i never did like that one #the lighting was. not good.#but anyway! look at me posting my other OCs for once!#stella & marky are not in the band but #stella sells merch for them at their shows & marcus very lovingly tells them how much their music sucks #btw they actually are a band in canon. they perform in their high school talent show & everything #they don't get big at all though & they kind of just... give up on it after a while #kel is the only one out of the 5 of em who actually knows anything about making music #so they were doomed from the start really #this AU is literally the exact same as canon but they get mildly famous #probably played at warped tour or something when that was still a thing lol

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amelia-yap · 4 months

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AUEGH

#ruby rose #rwby #obligatory tiny distressed ruby #my art #HELLO I HAVE OFFICALLY FINISHED YET AGAIN ANOTHER ONE OF MY SEMESTERS #and holy shit it was the most awful by far #i felt like absolute shit the entire sem and was behind in literally all of my classes #it was so shit that i actually skipped a class because of the stress of being behind on work. which i had never done before.#i am a criminal now lmao i feel so bad #also a little mad at myself because i know i could've done better. i've been doing the bare minimum and cutting corners #which was very noticeable lol #im gonna actually split my upcoming semester this time my ass and health cannot do this anymore #BUT ANYWAY I FINISHED MY SEMESTER RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #COUGHS OUT BLOOD AND SINKS BACK INTO EARTH'S CORE AND EVAPORATES #IM DONE!!!#also my eyes are really red now for some reason #probably from the lack of sleep or the long hours staring at my bloody laptop idk #probably both #yeah i should go sleep now lol bye #ranting in the tags because i don't know how to talk like a normal person lmao #sorry if you read all this nonsense jkdhkfsdhfkhd #but i should be more active around here again!

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tricoufamily · 2 months

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i wish ts4 packs would stop making such a huge part of the gameplay “this makes this part of the game easier! gain skills 10x faster! never get hungry! make $5000 every minute!” the game is already too easy please i don’t want a magic tree i want a clinically depressed man in a band who lives in the world’s shittiest apartment in gotham city i want him to suffer

#why not focus on realism and impacting your sim in actually meaningful ways #they waste time w this i feel #i’m probably having nostalgia bias but i don’t remember sims 2 or 3 doing this #to this extent #(i haven’t played sims 1 in over a decade so idk lmao)#in past games it’d be like ‘work on a car with your teen and teach them to drive’#and ts4 would be like ‘Buying This Car Will Make Your Family Live Forever’#obviously i like supernatural elements in sims games like hello. but i don’t like how sims 4 does it #it’s too cutesy and childish for one thing but also it’s Always there to make your sims lives easier

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fallenrain40 · 1 month

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"aroace people can still have relationships-" NOT ALL OF THEM CAN. YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT. WHY DO YOU WORD IT AS "aroaces can still be in relationships" AND NOT "some can have relationships, and others cannot."? WHY MUST YOU INSIST THAT WE STILL CAN LOVE IN SOME WAY. WHY DOES IT MATTER. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO LOVE. WHY, WHEN TALKING ABOUT AROACES, DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO IMPLY THAT IT'S OUR OTHER WAYS OF LOVING THAT MAKES US ACCEPTABLE? WHY CAN'T THE FACT WE DON'T LOVE MAKE US GOOD PEOPLE? WHY IS THERE ALWAYS AN EMPHASIS ON THE OTHER WAYS WE LOVE, OR THE AROACES THAT CAN STILL DATE, AND NOT ON OUR LACK OF LOVE? IT FEELS TO ME, LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO PUSH ASIDE THAT ASPECT OF OUR IDENTITY, BECUASE IT'S TOO STRANGE TO YOU. YOU MAY NOT SAY IT OUTLOUD, BUT THERE'S STILL A STIGMA AROUND LOVELESSNESS. IN YOUR MIND, YOU STILL ARE VIEWING LOVELESS PEOPLE AS LESS MORAL OR GOOD, AREN'T YOU? OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD CELEBRATE OUR LOVELESSNESS, NOT SHOVE IT ASIDE BECUASE "THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO LOVE"

#sorry im just mad and probably having a low blood sugar honestly.#i just.#why is the world so unfair?#idk idk im just so annoyed #i KNOW aroace is a spectrum but THAT INCLUDES LOVELESS PEOPLE #STOP. EXCLUDING US.#aroace #loveless #loveless aroace #aplatonic #aplspec #afamilial #aspec #AND FOR YOU PEOPLE IN FANDOMS.#SHIPPING AROACE CHARACTERS.#YOU THINK WE ARE TOO BORING RIGHT. YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYYYY OTHER PLOTLINES BESIDES SHIPPING. WOW YOU ARE JUST #SO INCLUSIVE OF AROACES RIGHT??? WOW SHIPPING AROACES MAKES YOU SOOOOOO INCLUSIVE OF THE AROACES THAT CAN DATE #ITS DEFINITELLYY NOT BECUASE YOU ARE APHOBIC NOOOOO #THATS WHY YOU ARENT MAKING WRITING CHARACTERS THAT ACTUALLY SHOW ATTRACTION AS AROACE.#MHM.#SURE.#YOU COULD WRITE CHARACTERS THAT DO SHOW ATTRACTION IN CANON TO BE ASPEC.#BUT NAHHHH..... LETS JUST TAKE THE ONE AROACE WHO DOESNT SHOW ATTRACTION AND SHIP THEM.#DEFINITELY NOT APHOBIC. AT ALL. NEVER.#/sarcasm

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the-witchhunter · 5 months

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DP x DC Dead Soulmates

This is probably the only soulmate au I'll ever do so enjoy

Soulmate au where your soul mark turns black when your soulmate dies

Danny and Jason are soulmates. The problem? Both of their soul marks are black. Sure, they came back, but not in a typical way, so each thinks the other is dead

So what do we get? Longing. Two guys longing for a love they thought lost to them, thinking tenderly of a future they don't think they could have, even without the added craziness of their lives. Standing on rooftops, smoking in the cold november air, their breath indistinguishable from the smoke, their spent cigarettes flicked off the edge like discount shooting stars, lamenting their fates, probably to each other for the dramatic irony of it all

they both get it. The quiet kind of grief, longing for somebody they never got the chance to know, thinking about how things could have been different, how the should have been different. That understanding is what draws them towards each other

and then? Jason sees Danny's mark, Jason shows his own, they stare at each other, silent for a moment, before arms wrap around the other, lips pressed together, and quiet tears fall like rain to the rooftop beneath their feet

longing, angst, and then happy ending

and you can thank this song for inspiring the mood for this

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #writing prompt #writing #dpxdc #soulmate au #dead on main #i usually don't like soulmate au's so probably the only one I'm ever going to do #they kind of act as shortcuts to get characters together #which tends to skip my favorite parts of romance focused fics #so taste wise they just don't scratch the itch for me usually #but if i can give them years of angst...#idk something about actually having them emotionally process the fact they think they'll never get to meet their other #the person perfectly suited to them #having them suddenly get together seems worth it to me #i also really like this song #Spotify

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artfartt · 4 months

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#sam and max #sam and max fanart #artoftheday #freelance police #snm #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #I can’t stop listening to The Orin Experience help-#this comic is actually based on real life situations #I’m probably the only one but I can’t say ‘Massachusetts’ normally.#I just feel max would do that on purpose because it sounds so alike #idk what else to tag

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puppyeared · 5 months

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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automatonknight · 8 months

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here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows