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comfortmarvelimagines · 5 years

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When You Can’t Find the Quiet pt 3

thank you guys so much for being patient for this! I will preface this with a warning that there is an implied slur (r word) mentioned in here, but is resolved with much fluff. Other than that, hope you enjoy!

part 1 | part 2

“Y/n”

“Hey, y/n”

“Dude, the bell goes, in five minutes, are you gonna start packing up or what,”

“Y/n!” Peter jabbed you in the arm. “You look dead.”

You ducked your head, uncomfortable with his staring.

“When was the last time you slept? Like, properly slept?”

In lieu of an answer, you turned your attention to shoving your pencil case and notebook into your backpack. The same stationery that had sat unused on your desk as you drifted half into unconsciousness, head buried in your arms, throughout the period. Sleep and functioning and, well, humaning, weren’t really happening today.

“Okay, we can talk about that later when you come to my place so me and May can make sure you actually sleep and eat. We gotta go to decathlon practice now, before MJ roasts us for being late agaaaaaain,” Peter drew out the last syllable as he shoved his chair back under the desk. You stood in imitation, wishing that you could just leave already. Sitting up the back of a class when the teacher couldn’t care less about how engaged you were was one thing, but decathlon meant people were actually expecting you to, you know, do things. Think actual thoughts.

***

It wasn’t a fully Bad Brain Day, not really. The input of school wasn’t painful, per say; more like it was turning into brain static, like your processing filters were on strike. Even thinking was hard, an effort. Talking was an absolute no-go. Even though that wasn’t unusual, it was never easy trying to communicate that communicating was hard to people that didn’t get it. Peter and MJ and Ned got it. Tony got it, after the whole situation of the last Bad Brain Day you’d had at school. The decathlon team, apparently, did not.

“Look who decided to turn up late after promising not to. Next time you’re going alternate, loser.” “Wow, thanks MJ. Nice to see you too.” As Peter and MJ talked, you chucked your bag onto the ground and slouched into a seat. Ned turned to you.

“Hey, y/n!”

You held your hand up in greeting, a half wave. As Ned turned to move on, Abe interjected before he could join in MJ’s roasting of Peter. “Hey, y/n, shouldn’t you say hi to Ned? He was being nice to you,” “They said hi, they waved,” Ned responded.

“What, you haven’t trained your pet idiot to speak yet? That’s pathetic, what a re-” Flash was cut off by a pen colliding with the side of his head. He turned to find MJ standing, fuming, hands planted in fists on the desk as if in lieu of planting them in Flash’s face.

“You don’t say that word, ever, especially not about them. Some things are harder for y/n, like talking, but that doesn’t… Not that it’d matter if they didn’t, but they know what’s going on. They’re their own independent person. We don’t… They…” “We don’t own them,” Ned finished. Peter had since sat down and taken your hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. You tasted salt, and only then realised you were crying.

“Do you wanna leave?” Peter whispered. The nod of your head was almost imperceptible, but you felt frozen. The whole team had disintegrated into a rambling mess of arguments, half wanting to punch Flash and half agreeing with him in a weird way that tried to avoid coming off as blatantly mean. You heard all of it, and it hurt. They were talking about you, not to you, and as much as you hated it you realised that they didn’t really see you. They saw what you couldn’t do, what you didn’t do, but not who you were.

“Okay, lets go,” Peter slung both your backpacks over his shoulder and gently tugged your arm upwards. You allowed him to lead you out, not paying attention to where but following anyway.

“I texted May, she’s leaving work now to pick us up. I’m guessing the subway wouldn’t be a great idea right now.” You shook your head, meaning no. Meaning May shouldn’t have left her shift, meaning you could get the subway, meaning neither of them should drop everything for you. Peter interpreted it as confirmation that you didn’t want to take the subway back to his apartment. That was one of the worst things about days like this; even your best friends didn’t get it right all the time, and it really wasn’t realistic to even try to correct them. You folded over, head on your knees, gravel of the school stairs digging through your jeans, right hand still encased in Peter’s left. It was humiliating.

***

You’d met May several times before, but definitely not to the point where you were expecting her to come running up to you and Peter and envelope you in a hug. She pulled back and held you at arm’s length. “Hey sweetie, Peter told me what happened. Are you okay?”

You tilted your head, a non-committal nod. You weren’t okay, not really. Not when that word that Flash almost said was bouncing around your brain relentlessly. She accepted it regardless. “Alright, let’s go home. The two of you deserve a break, I know Peter’s been studying constantly for finals!”

Peter ducked as she reached out to ruffle his hair. Pulling open the door for you, he climbed into the back seat next to you. “You kids okay with pizza?” May asked.

“Sure, May. You’re still okay with y/n staying over tonight, right?”

“Of course, how could I forget?” She pulled the car out of the school’s parking lot, merging into traffic. Peter pulled out his phone.

“MJ texted me to say she’s sorry Flash was a dick, and to make sure we get you ice cream to make up for it.” He pulled his hand out of your grip to type a message back, and you giggled, reaching up to wipe the last of the tears from your eyes with your sweater sleeves.

You missed the sad smile Peter gave May in the rear-view mirror. The kind that said ‘I got this, I’ll fix it later’. You missed the hesitation in Peter’s eyes when he looked away, wondering if he really could.

***

From then, you managed to push the Bad Thoughts to the back of your mind, smothering them in the Parkers’ easy banter and cheese-drenched pizza. Hours had passed and seeing as neither you nor Peter were wanting to follow a complex plot, it was a night of easy sitcoms followed by a David Attenborough documentary (part of May’s thinly veiled attempt to get the two of you to sleep- it was no secret that insomnia plagued you both more often than either of you’d admit). It was nearing midnight when you moved from the worn couch to Peter’s bunk, you on top, staring at the ceiling, headphones on. Even music couldn’t drown out your obsessive rumination.

“Hey, y/n!” Peter’s voice came out as more of a stage whisper than anything else, loud enough that May could probably still hear through the thin walls if she was awake.

“Mmmn”

“I know you’re awake”

“Obviously, dummy, I responded to you.” You almost surprised yourself; it was the first fully coherent sentence you’d managed all day. Amazing what being in a supportive and calm environment could achieve. “I don’t know, sometimes I talk to you and you actually do make weird noises in your sleep,” Peter paused, shifting the tangent of the conversation. “Anyways, about what happened…”

“It’s fine.” “No, it’s not, and you’re not fine.”

“I just don’t like that word. I’m being a baby over nothing.” “You’re allowed to not like that word. Flash shouldn’t have even thought about using it. You know he’s… Wrong, right?” “No he’s not. Are you forgetting why I am the way I am? It’s practically the definition of… That word.” You blinked, trying to force the hot tears back into your eyes. It wasn’t worth crying over twice in one day, not in front of your friend.

“That’s wrong and you know it. That word does not describe your diagnosis, and your diagnosis doesn’t describe you- I mean- Wait, what, I’m confusing myself, that didn’t make sense, uh…” Peter trailed off, leaving a second of silence.

“I get what you’re trying to say, but it’s still… I guess he’s not exactly far off the mark.” You rubbed your hands together anxiously. “They were agreeing with him, Peter.”

The way your voice cracked at his name was enough to send you into sobs. The awful, silent, curled-in-on-yourself, fist-in-mouth to stop yourself from screaming kind. You barely registered Peter half-helping, half-carrying you down the bunk ladder, sinking onto his bunk, hugging you.

“They don’t matter. They’re not half as smart, and intelligent and brave as you are. You get out of bed every day and...You know what? You kick ass,” he poked your shoulder with each syllable, and you sniggered into his now tear-soaked pyjama shirt.

“No! I’m serious! This world isn’t… The city isn’t made for your brain but you still manage to get to school every day. The school system isn’t built for your wild cool brain, but you still do-” “The school system isn’t made for anyone’s brain. Unless they’re a robot.” “Okay, fair, but you get my point. You know MJ and Ned would kick your ass if they heard you say that about yourself, and they’d kill me for letting you think that. You’re worth so much more than what that word means.”

At some point, the two of you had ended up laying on the bottom bunk, Peter’s chin on your head and your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt (in your defence, it was soft and a much better stim than your default hand-bone-rubbing distressed stim). It was entirely platonic, but that didn’t make it any less needed; if there was one thing Peter was trying to convey, it was that he had your back, and if there was one thing you were trying to respond with it was that you trusted him wholeheartedly.

The last thing you said before sleep took you prisoner was a whispered, “Thanks, Peter.”

And if May Parker was standing behind the door frame and overheard, before sneaking a picture of the two of you curled together like sleepy octopi? Then that was certainly, definitely blackmail material, and not confirmation that in her heart, that she loved her strange adopted children more than anything.

#peter parker #may parker #ned leeds #MJ #michelle jones #flash #flash thompson #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #spiderman #actually autistic #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #avengers imagine #tony stark

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laidbackmarco · 7 years

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Something that still doesn’t feel real to me the sequence of events was dreamlike in every way shape and form. The only reason I can confirm it feels real is because there were other people there to experience it with me(family and friends). I was so excited I had trouble sleeping on the night before and the plane ride wasn’t too long, but I did manage to sleep there(thank goodness there wasn’t any screaming kids). My lack of self awareness meant that I was more more excited then I thought I was. As the plane began its descent back to earth I remember seeing an abundance of green forest that immediately surfaced feelings of nostalgia and the excitement of witnessing something completely new to me. Although I was used to seeing leafy green forest all my life (Pacific Northwest kid) , the Japanese forest that I looked out at was filled with different foliage then I was used to seeing. Something that I thought was so standard and unchanging looked so different in another place. A landscape of rolling hills covered in trees looked different in each of the locations I had been to in my life, a realization that hit me then and there.

The plane touched down and of course my twisted mind had yet another cynical thought “cool we survived a possibly fatal plane ride”.

Side Tangent Inc.

Before I used to wonder why people got so upset when they did a lot of air travel and now that I have gotten older and participated in a lot of plane flights on this trip, I can see why people are angry with the way plane travel is treated. The flow of free travel is slowed by a lot of bureaucratic and unnecessary damn dams. Security is a long slow process because people are afraid of the 1% of the population that deals with terrorism and things like drug and human trafficking, I mean what are we even fighting about now a days really? Then when you get to a country you have to deal with Immigration and customs just so your country, which is an abstract social construct and ideal in the first place, can keep track of where you are going. . . well I guess in a way the government is a business and you are it’s merchandise . . . “where is my taxpayer going off to can’t have my property running away”, all through this and that you don’t get much sleep, sit in uncomfortable chairs, and must stand and wait in so many lines that patience is as thin as the generic cookies you buy at the store. All this time that this is going on you have to deal with lugging these human sized bags around.

After we get past all the hoops and loops I remember standing there and reading where we were and being internally happy to see Chiba-Kun. I had no idea Narita international airport was in Chiba, my favorite fictional character, whose life must be mine in another carnation, Hikigaya said something about this character. You know for cynical people that don’t really take pride in many things we both have a lot of pride for where we live. Tacoma is one of the few invisible border lined areas that I take pride in 253 fam!

The bus ride was not something that I was looking forward too, but it was cool to be able to snap some pictures before we left for our hotel, being able to look outside at all the signage, and of course seeing all the right hand drive cars. Driving on the left side is something me and my friends used to joke around about back in my high school days. It was really fun for me seeing it in singapore and here. Who knew they used Toyota Cressidas for taxi cabs? I had always known them as drift cars, fender mirrors and all.

Washingtonians do bring the rain around with them

After I had dinner with my family, I went to meet with my friends in Shibuya station. Because of my lack of knowledge of the train system and my inability to use the Japanese that was locked in my head somewhere something as simple as getting from one train station to the other became a fun adventure. I said goodbye to my family, asked the hotel staff for basic instructions, and began my journey alone. Gray clouds formed the second I stepped outside it had begun to rain. With the rain came the smell of wet asphalt, the pitter patter of the small drops hitting different surfaces, the soft impacts on the top of my head and my face, and the feeling of calmness reminding me of home which had followed me across the ocean. I took a deep breath and looked all around me to see the locals unfolding their umbrellas, something I hadn’t used in years. Wanting to fit in I walked into the nearest Seven-Eleven which should have been a boring task, but to me I was feeling a mix of emotions that I couldn’t describe. My mind ran as I thought of the times my dad, sister, and I would go into Seven-Eleven to buy slurpees. All the good feelings stayed in my heart after all this time. I purchased my first thing ever in Japan. . . an umbrella.

The Hamamatsucho Station was two blocks from my hotel and was busier than anyplace I had ever been to in my life. As my umbrella was awkwardly folded in, the calm feeling that I was harboring shifted to a slightly panicked I have no idea what is going on here vibe. I sat there awkwardly and watched how the train system was used. Not noticing all the helpful signage, I put 60 yen into the ticket dispenser I made my way to the Yamanote line which was headed to Shibuya. The train was crowded as people were finishing up with work or school, people will leave before more people get on right? Was something I was thinking, but as we pulled into Tamachi Station I found myself in a sandwich between a businessman and a businesswoman. . . I hadn’t rubbed up against this many people in 10 years. The last time being during the one high school dance I went to.

The other train was far more crowded than this

I think the trains are pretty cool though

I got off at the next station, Shinagawa, for a couple of reasons although it’s probably normal for Japanese people to be that close to others, for me a seattleite it is awkward. The second thing was I needed to talk to the Eki In or station attendant about my underpayment. It was one of my first times using Japanese in Japan and it went about just as bad as you expect it to. The broken Japanglish was the best I could manage, but I think between my bad Japanese and English the nice attendant understood and told me to see the attendant at shibuya when I finally get there. A couple stations later and I was at Shibuya Station. Easy enough right? Now to find the Hachiko statue. There are signs which point straight to the statue, but being in my panicked state I failed to calm down and see the signs with the dog symbol and the arrows. So instead I saw a picture of the statue on a wall and stopped the first two young dudes that made eye contact with me. “Sumimasen. . .doko desu Ka” I said pointing to the picture. I was expecting them to tell me and go about their merry day, but instead they walked me right to the statue! Thanks friends I hope we will be able to meet again in some way shape or form.

So there I was at the Hachiko statue, star struck at the abundance of signs, people, and lights at the famous Shibuya crossing. The smell of tobacco, rain, food, and people drifted about as I sat there just taking it all in under my transparent umbrella. There were two things I had realized while standing there like the tourist I was. It was much easier to develop Japanese proficiency as I was sitting there practically eavesdropping on every conversation I overheard. The next thing I thought was wow I am really useless without my smartphone having service and I don’t know how people scheduled meeting each other without cellphones and all the affordances we have today.

I had left an hour early for what was supposed to be a fifteen minute trip and even after all my hiccups and slip ups I sat there thirty minutes early. My mind, like it often does, began to wander. Who else is going to meet me today? Am I going to be able to communicate with my friends? What’s going to happen tonight? While is was there observing and amidsts my thoughts. It took me longer then it should have to recognize the sound of my own name being called, but it was there in the sea of people. A girl was calling my name . . . huh that’s weird I thought I thought my other friend was supposed to be here first.

This is Pretty Personal >////<

What happened next was the most magical 15 minutes of my life, it’s almost too embarrassing to write about. For me (loner, nerd, with low self confidence) talking to and being with a pretty girl alone to have a conversation is not something I even imagined happening, as a matter of fact it could have been my imagination. To that girl it probably meant nothing, but to me and that moment I was wishing for time to pause, or at least slow down. It was the world to me being there in that moment. So many feelings that I thought had died resurfaced. The feeling of liking a girl and being nervous was something I had last felt my senior year of high school four years ago. It had been a millennia since I had cared about my appearance or the way I looked.

Thoughts

Do I smell bad right now? Is my hair goofy? Is my outfit okay looking? Was that funny, stupid, offensive, or all of the above? Is the gift I got good enough? What does she think? Was that weird or awkward? English Essay . . . but I’m not confident in my own english skills. . . I’m not confident in many skills or anything really. . .My ESL instructor told me to have the learner read it. . . and I like the sound of her voice better than mine. Please don’t stand that close I’m not used to that >///<

I had forgotten what it was like to be that self conscious. I still remember many details of those fifteen minutes of my life. . . The awkward use of my bad Japanese, the pauses, the silence, the smiles, her eyes, the way she put lipgloss on, everything is memorable to me. I wished time would go like that indefinitely awkwardness, silence, fidgeting, and rain included.

“I’m sorry now that you’ve come here it starts to rain”

“No I’m happy I kind of like the rain . . . it reminds me of home”

Oh god that was a Weird thing to say wasn’t it dumb me.

Smoking is still common here

So many Lights

Ramen Got Me through college, but it didn’t taste this good

After what was a subjectively weird length of time that was objectively fifteen minutes, my good friend who is a boy showed up and the three of us went off to go get some ramen because why not eat it here in Japan? I was so stunned by all the lights and signs as we made our way through the various streets in Shibuya. Each building had a myriad of floors filled with izakayas, restaurants, and karaoke places. The vibrant sounds that matched all the lights filled the canvas to a scale I hadn’t been able to imagine in my mind. After twisting and turning we settled in a small shop in the heart of the metropolis. I had what my friend was having, a tonkotsu broth based tsukemen, being the bad vegetarian that I was I didn’t mind it when soup broths used meat bones so I avoided eating the meat that was included with the soup. Upon receiving my meal I was surprised to see that there were two bowls. One bowl was filled with noodles, while the other was filled with broth. I also ordered a beer with my noodles which was much larger than anticipated. Another friend of mine met us at the ramen place and then we went of as a group to an Izakaya where I exchanged my gifts with them and we all shared a drink together kanpai! It is hard to understand native speakers when they are going back and forward really fast, but I was enjoying just listening to the conversation as the gears in my head were turning trying to make sense of what little I could comprehend.

Tokyo Tower Is A great view at 2 am

So is this random side street

The last trial I had to complete was getting home after saying until next time with my friends. To be honest I don’t think I was all too drunk, but there were other forces at play, or at least that is how I try to understand it until this day. Perhaps it was a combination of the alcohol, jetlag, the excitement of being in Japan, and being around a girl I was crushing on, but for some reason much of what happened after being lead to the train station was very blurry in my mind. All of that mixed with the panic of being unfamiliar with the trainstation must have overloaded my feeble mind. I remember not having enough change to pay my fare, an older man helping me thanks dude(I had money I should have just used the change machine). Being extremely spaced out and not being to understand that I needed to transfer trains to get back to the Hamamatsucho station. So instead of going around harassing everyone I just exited at an unknown location and began my walk camera in hand. It was a good way to sober up, take time for photos, and burn some of those extra calories gained while drinking. I walked and walked and kept on walking, keeping the train tracks in view as I strided along. I was spacing out and thinking about what an awesome night I had claiming that I want to remember this night for forever and I lost the train track. I kept on walking until I found yet another helpful Conbini (convenience store) and asked the guy where the Hamamatsucho station was. It turns out I was pretty darn close and it was a block away. When I got back to my hotel, my loving mother greeted me with a “did you have fun” and to that I replied “too much” and passed out at around three in the morning.

My Trip To Japan Something that still doesn't feel real to me the sequence of events was dreamlike in every way shape and form.

#awkward #diary #drinking #drunk #izakaya #Japan #journal #lost #love #nerd #Trip

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temeraaires-blog · 7 years

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2 Song Starters

SUPER long post and some a lot of these are nsfw. Feel free to change pronouns/names/do whatever.

Theme Song

I’m just a girl in love.

I can’t be held responsible for my actions.

I have no underlying issues to address.

They say love makes you crazy.

Love Kernels

I can live for days off a single “you really listen to me.”

I’m like a sexy fashion cactus.

But how do I know he loves me?

I guess the only way to prove it is through abstract symbolism.

He gives me love kernels.

If you read between the lines he’s saying “I love you.”

I’m the most important person in his life, next to his friend.

God, I’m thirsty after all that popcorn.

Whatever you got, baby, I’ll take it, baby.

Your house smells like lemon.

I’ll take it.

It’s a stretch but I’ll take that too.

______ is now played by a broom on a stand.

We’ll do our best with what we have.

We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now

We should definitely not have sex right now.

I need time to reflect.

I’m in a really weird place.

There’s no reason to have sex again. But I’ll be ready to go again in ten.

Maybe This Dream

When I was a little girl, I felt like a princess.

I thought my dreams would come true, but then as I grew, the world was all like, "Nope.”

Maybe this dream won’t end in disgrace.

Maybe this dream is in reach.

Maybe this dream won’t be like my vibrator, breaking when I need it most.

Maybe this dream will finally me feel like I deserve a dream.

Greg’s Drinking Song

There’s joy and there’s glory more than you can think.

Yes, this is what happens to me when I drink.

I pee my pants!

Wow, I did not know it was that bad.

Chase down the regret with some gin for good luck.

I puke on my cat.

Poor little ____ did not expect that.

What happens when, I try to have one it just turns into ten.

That wasn’t a woman?

No, it was a bush.

So that’s where that scar comes from!

But he’s breaking his cycle and making a push!

He’s quitting his drinking.

I Could If I Wanted To (Reprise)

Whoop de frickin’ do.

My best friend is sleeping with my ex behind my back.

Who cares? I don’t.

But I could if I wanted---

Ping Pong Girl

Sports!

I could tell she’s the most perfect girl who’s ever existed.

Oh man, look at her pong that ping.

She does it for herself and that puts my fears to rest.

BRO!

She’s so aloof it borders on cold. And that’s what makes me want her.

Nothing’s hotter than a chick who’s good at sports.

She scored a thousand points!

I think I love her.

Ping pong shows she has control of her body, but it doesn’t threaten my masculinity like basketball or hockey.

She’s like Serena or Venus

She’s so indifferent. It makes me want a tangible commitment.

The Math of Love Triangles

What’s a girl to do when she’s stuck between men?

I wasn’t really listening

The center of the triangle is little ol’ me!

So I need to decide which man’s more acute.

Those are good puns, but please pay attention.

We’re starting to suspect you don’t sincerely want to know about triangles.

Is this a triangle?

No that’s a shoe.

No that’s you.

So I’m a triangle?

What? No!

Ooh, are you erect?

That’s really erect!

We’re tired of all your tangents.

You all deserve a kiss.

Lady, we’re all gay. We get nothing out of this.

It Was a Shit Show

I love you, yes.

The thought of staying is so enticing.

Then stay.

When you speak, my knees get weak.

I can’t believe what I’m sacrificing.

But let’s get real. We know the deal.

Darling, let’s not tiptoe.

This thing we had was not just bad. It was a shitshow.

We can’t undo, can’t make amends.

Disfunction is our lingua franca.

We can’t unscrew each other’s friends.

There’s hard to get, then there’s neglect.

To say it’s fate, you’d have to be a bit slow.

Not to be crass, but this sucked ass.

This was a shitshow.

We have chemistry, of course. But that’s a formula for divorce.

Oh what the hell, let’s get a hotel.

Life is short, and we’re not getting any younger.

But after sex what happens next...I mean, in the long run. Not just fatigue and hunger...

And when you say that I should stay, that’s exactly when I should split, though.

Though I won’t forget, I won’t regret.

Though I won’t forget, I won’t regret this beautiful, heart-stopping, breathtaking, life-changing…..

We Tapped That Ass

We tapped that ass all over this house.

Sometimes him. Sometimes me. Though never simultaneously.

But one of us was hitting it, usually.

That bed is really uncomfortable!

Right? It’s like a prison cot!

What? Too cheeky?

A little to the left/right

Wait! No, you’re doing it wrong. I’ll do it myself!

Barkeep! What’s on tap?

How much more tapping could one ass endure?

Thought Bubbles

Well, I don’t mind being alone.

I’m not afraid of what enters my mind when I’m so low.

I’m perfectly capable of taking of advantage of this time.

No, I don’t mind being alone with my thoughts.

That’s a bad thought!

I don’t like that thought!

What happens if I go to hell?

Chill out.

If I can’t hit the gym how will I ever be a good father?

Friendtopia

When my friends and I stick together there’s nothing we can’t do.

I specifically mean we’re going to stage a coup.

Squad goals!

A dystopia around our friendship

There’s a really exclusive sushi place that never lets us in.

Let’s just go home and drink rose.

I put drugs in the water supply.

Aww, I love Hocus Pocus.

Zig-a-zow!

Stuck in the Bathroom

Get me out of here!

Tonight was already super weird and now [you’re/she’s/he’s] stuck in the bathroom.

I have a deceptive amount of muscular strength thanks to my amazing core.

Her little bird arms aren’t going to do anything!

Whoever renovated this house did a terrible job!

I can’t believe it took us that long to come up with the most obvious solution.

Research Me Obsessively

Hey, what are you doing for the next, like, thirteen hours?

Don't do anything healthy. Don't be productive. Give in to your desire.

Find out everything you can about me

You Go First

We used to be there for each other, every second

I really wanna tell you that I'm sorry!

I really wanna tell you that I am the worst!

I just want to say I miss you every day!

This is almost entirely all my fault here. But you gotta admit it's just a tiny bit your fault too.

Sometimes you can be really passive aggressive!

Sometimes you can be really self-involved.

Go ahead and say you're kind of sorry! So I can say "Oh, no, no, no, please!” Just like I rehearsed!

If you open the door, I'll apologize so much more.

[But] You go first!

So Maternal

Parenting ain’t harrowing, demanding or traumatic!

Step aside ladies, give your babies to a Carol Brady level matriarch.

Low expectations - Raise ‘em up!

You know, I guess I just instinctively get how to be a mom and that's what sets me apart from other "mothers."

Damn, I’m so maternal!

Duh!

Duh! What was I thinking?

Can’t believe I couldn’t see it all along.

Don’t know what was going through my mind!

I’m just like -- ugh! God, I’m so stupid.

Looking back on old times. Like that one time. And that other time.

It’s so obvious!

Duh!

Who’s the New Guy?

Who's the new guy? I don't trust him

Do we really need a new guy this far into the season? And by "far into the season" I mean it's almost fall.

He's suspiciously good looking. In ways that normal people are not

Is this someone new we're gonna have to grow to care about?

Why should we root for someone male, straight and white?

We’ll Never Have Problems Again

We’ll never have problems again!

It's only smooth, smooth sailing from now on…

We used to have problems but now they're gone.

Do you remember, back when we had problems?

Man, that was annoying.

But now our love has magically solved [our problems].

And there won't be any more [problems] in our future at all!

Fine. I guess I’ll just Soul Train out of here.

The first test failed but that’s ‘cause it wasn’t true love.

They say obsession biologically lasts four years at most but science doesn't apply to us.

Remember That We Suffered

But before you feel too great...remember that we suffered!

But we sing in a minor key to remember that we suffered!

Being happy is selfish!

You have no idea what pain is!

When I say 'we' you say 'suffered'!

Santa Ana Winds

Hello there, it's me.

I make things weird

That's science for "a pain in your asses"

They just got Santa Ana winded!

I'm a prankster. Tee-hee-hee-hee.

I just wanna see what will happen

You're looking really guilty

That kiss was all your fault!

I just reveal your deepest wishes and fears

So it's you, ________. It's not me who is super weird.

You ruined everything.

Let’s Have Intercourse

Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you

I don't know what happened

For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list

Let's get this over with so I can focus on other tasks

Just pretend I'm seducing you

Let's quickly have intercourse so I can move on with my life

Once we do it, it'll be like “Well, that's what that was like.”

I mean, obviously you want to, too

Just super quickly have intercourse

Sometimes my body wants things that my mind does not

My body wants things that make my mind go, "Uh, body, what?"

We're animals It's unfortunate.

So come on, let's contortion it!

I won't be back to normal till I see what your nipples look like.

Until we stop wasting time talking 'bout it and we super quickly, it'll only take a second, have intercourse.

Good thing I happen to have an old condom In my wallet

You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)

You’re my best friend, and I know I’m not yours.

And that’s okay.

I’m not your best friend.

I’m okay.

Friendship doesn’t have to be a two-way street.

I don’t need a shoulder to cry!

Your best friend is somebody else. But I get it.

I love you like a sister and you love me like a second cousin.

I said it’s okay! Really!

Man Nap

It’s a man nap!

Time to nap like a man!

Life is so tiring when you’re a man.

It’s exhausting being so damn strong.

‘Cause when a man gets older, his testosterone starts getting low.

Tell Me I’m Okay, Patrick

You represent the outside world because you don’t know me.

No pressure, but I seriously need to know.

‘Cause I think I’m fine ______, but I’m only, like, forty-three percent sure.

I’m sorry that I yelled.

Tell me I’m okay.

Period Sex

It’s period sex.

Put down a towel, party till it’s dry.

Are those sheets expensive?

I’ll Venmo you back for your sheets.

I hope you can get those sheets again.

What a Rush to be a Bride

Can you believe you snagged him?

Forever you will have him standing right there by your side.

I’ve been picturing this day since I’ve been a little girl.

Why veer from the classics?

Rebecca’s Reprise

You’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted.

It turns out magic exists.

Everything in the past will just fade away.

I’ll never have problems again.

#⚜ memes ⚜#memes #askbox games #starters #ceg starter #rp starter #rp starters

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choisgirls · 7 years

Text

Valentines: Saeran

A/N: Me: wow I have a lot of coding due tonight also me: wow im gonna write this fic instead

also woW this was long because im saeran trash and im not apologizing for it because i hardcore ship myself with him i just want the poor baby to be okAY OKAY IM DONE RANTING IM GONNA GO NAP FOR A WHILE FOR REAL THIS TIME ~Admin 404

What the hell is Valentine's Day?

A day where you celebrate your love for someone? Shouldn't you be doing that every day? Why would you only do it one day out of the year?

What was he even supposed to do? It's not like he's told you how he feels about you anyway, so how is he supposed to celebrate it? Even if he had told you, what the hell was he supposed to do about it? This holiday was CONFUSING and he did not like it.

The week leading up to the stupid holiday, he was extremely testy. Even Saeyoung tried to avoid him some days because absolutely anything would set him off. He couldn't avoid him forever though, he needed more chips and Saeran was sitting at the table in the kitchen.

'I was a secret agent, I can sneak around my brother and get some chips, right? Yeah! Of course I can!' he thought to himself, as he took a few steps into the room. He didn't even get 3 feet into the kitchen before Saeran snapped, though.

"GOD CAN YOU JUST GO AWAY AND STOP BREATHING SO DAMN LOUD?" he yelled, turning quickly to face his brother. He tried to keep a mask of disgust on his face but Saeyoung could tell that something deeper was bothering him, so he sat down next to him at the table.

"Hey, what's up? Is something wrong?" he asked, watching as his moody brother crossed his arms on the table, hiding all but his eyes behind them. He tried listening carefully as his brother mumbled behind his arms, watching as the other twin started to blush and crease his eyebrows. "I can't understand you from behind your arm there Saeran, can you try again?"

"I SAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND VALENTINE'S DAY!" he raised his head and shouted, his face turning a darker shade of red before slamming it back down against the table, now covering his head with his arms.

"Oh! Well it's just a day to celebrate your love for someone! It could be family love, platonic love, friendship love-" he was cut off by Saeran turning his face up towards him, talking quietly.

"But what about me and MC? What am I supposed to do there? I haven't told them how I feel," he started to hide his face again, "I don't even know if they'd like me back."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME," Saeyoung shouted, standing suddenly which shot his chair behind him and across the room. "YOU SERIOUSLY CAN'T SEE THAT MC LIKES YOU? DUDE ARE YOU BLIND? GET UP, GET UP!! WE'RE GOING TO GO PLAN SOMETHING NICE FOR TOMORROW, LET'S GO," he kept shouting, now dragging his confused and extremely frightened brother by the arm to his computer room.

Saeran crossed his arms in a huff as his brother pulls out a large whiteboard, drawing little faces to represent MC and himself. He tried listening to his weird and crazy plan but he was talking a mile a minute and he couldn't keep up.

"Hey wait... when the fuck did this whiteboard get in here anyway? You just have it sitting off to the side for things like this?" he asked, interrupting his brothers explanation.

"IT ISN'T IMPORTANT! But did you get the plan? We all good to go?" he asked, waving his arms over his head and continuously gesturing to the mess of an explanation he had on the board.

"......I didn't catch a word that you said," Saeran responded, watching as Saeyoung sighed deeply, smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Listen, I don't want some over the top plan. I just want to get it over with. Maybe I shouldn't even do anything, maybe I should just lock myself in my room for the day and hope MC just forgets about it."

"No! You have someone you care about and I'm not gonna let you just pass it up!! You deserve to be happy, Saeran, and I! Will! Make! It! Happen! Defender of justice, 707, at your service!!" he stood at attention and saluted his brother. "We can come up with something easier! But you aren't giving up, you hear me!"

It took hours for the two of them to actually agree on something. Saeyoung kept suggesting over the top ideas and Saeran wasn't comfortable with, and Saeran kept trying to get out of any plan they made, which Saeyoung wouldn't let happen. Once they settled and came up with a plan, they set it into motion!

"So do I just text them now? Shouldn't I wait until tomorrow to text them? It's pretty late what if they're sleeping? Hey what are you- DON'T TAKE MY PHONE WHAT ARE YOU DOING," Saeran shouted, tackling his brother to the ground, trying to retrieve his phone.

"Too late, I texted them for you! Oh! Look! They already replied! 'Okay "Saeran" I'll see you tomorrow afternoon!' Hey what do you think they meant by the quotations around your name?" he asked, groaning when his brother smacked him upside the head.

"It means they knew it wasn't me who texted, you dumbass! Don't tell me you already blew it!" he complained, snatching his phone back. "You sent smiley faces and hearts? Jesus Christ you didn't even ATTEMPT to sound like me!"

"But they agreed to meet you at the park tomorrow! That's all that matters, right? Now go get some sleep! You have to be rested for tomorrow! Go go go!" he pushed his brother all the way to his bedroom before leaving for his own. Saeran sighed before opening his door.

"This is going to be a train wreck, isn't it?" he mumbled to himself before getting into bed.

----

"I'm not wearing that," Saeran huffed at his brother the next morning. "It's stupid. I'm not doing it."

"It's a suit jacket and nice pants! How is it stupid? It's nice and formal looking! Just put it on!" he tried to coax his brother into the jacket while he was fighting to get away.

"No! I'm just gonna wear normal clothes. I told you I don't want to go over the top with anything!" he shouted back, pulling his all black hoodie back onto his shoulder, over his also black t-shirt.

"Don't you think you're wearing too much black? Today's about love and happiness! Not dark and thrown into the abyss," his brother teased. He received a death glare from Saeran in response.

"I'll throw your ass into the abyss," he mumbled to himself. The two of them got to the park 10 minutes early to go over the plan again. "Will you go away you don't need to come with me!" he spat at Saeyoung, trying to push him away.

"I'm just here to help you get through it! I won't be right next to you but I'll be around! I'm a master of disguise, you won't even know I'm here! Crap, MC's here! GOOD LUCK I'LL SEE YOU LATER DON'T FORGET TO COMPLIMENT THEM!" he rushed, running in the other direction and diving behind a fairly large tree. Saeran jumped a little before he turned around to watch you walk up.

"Heya Saeran! Did I just see Saeyoung?" you asked, stopping in front of the disinterested-looking man.

"No, you're seeing things, it's just me. Is that a problem?" he asked, looking at you as he shoved his hands into his pockets to hide that he's nervous.

"No, of course it's not a problem!" you giggled lightly, sending a warm smile towards him. "I like spending time with you!"

He felt his face grow hot, and he had to look away from your smile. Why did you have to be so cute so early on into the day? How the fuck was he going to survive this date? Is it even a date? He's already freaking out internally. 'Don't forget to compliment them!' his brother's voice rang through his head, so he turned back to face you and whispered, "You look nice today."

"Hm?" you turned towards him since you got side tracked watching some dogs and their owners walk by, "What did you say?"

"I SAID YOU LOOK DEAD TODAY," he panicked and almost shouted at you. He smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand and turned completely away from you. You had to stifle a laugh, which makes him look over his shoulder at you. He was a little relieved that you didn't take the insult personally but still felt terrible for saying it in the first place. "Let's just, uh, let's just go," he said, gesturing for you to follow him down the pathway.

He sat down on a bench, overlooking a small lake. The two of you sat in silence for a while, watching ducks swim around and kids trying to feed them. Multiple times in a row, he'd look at you from the corner of his eye, and try to sneakily hold your hand. Every time he got close, however, you kept moving it to brush hair out of your face, or point out a cute animal to him, so he gave up. You broke the silence by asking some random question about ducks. He didn't catch the question because he was so spaced out on how cute he thought you were, and how the silence was never awkward- which he appreciated.

The two of you went on a tangent about the ducks, and he turned towards you, getting ready to say what he had to say. He leaned in closer to you and called your name to catch your attention. When you turned, he didn't realize his face was going to be so close to yours. He turned a bright red but didn't make any movement to back away.

"U-um, MC, there's.... there's something I want to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for a while but I'm not....very good with words. So, MC, I-" he stopped mid-sentence when he saw his brother pop his head out from behind the tree directly behind you. He kept giving him a thumbs up, and making kissy faces towards him. He looked past you with disgust written all over his face.

"Saeran? What's wrong? Is something behind me?" you asked, getting ready to turn around and find what Saeran was looking at, but he quickly grabbed your hand and took you the other way.

"It's nothing let's go this way," he rushed, trying to get you as far away from his idiot brother as he could. The rest of the day was spent with him trying his hardest to tell you how he felt and his idiot brother popping up at the wrong time, making him nervous. It was starting to get dark and he still hasn't told you, and that pissed him off to no end. He had to tell you, he couldn't let today go by without saying it.

He had to clear his mind, so he offered to buy you some ice cream from the cart. After he ordered, he heard his brother's voice, so he looked up at the worker. Saeyoung was wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache, a paper hat covering most of his bright red hair, but not all of it. He immediately received a death glare from Saeran.

"What. Are you. Doing. Get away from here, leave me alone!" he hissed, snatching the ice creams from his twins hands.

"I'm just trying to help!! And make sure that you're okay!!" he tried to defend, struggling to keep his fake mustache on.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" he shouted, causing you to turn and look, watching as he stomped away from the cart, looking aggravated. He threw himself down onto the bench next to you, holding the ice cream cone in front of you. "Here, take this."

"Okay... um, are you alright?" you asked as you grabbed the cone from his hand. He sighed and shook his head, shooting another death glare his way.

"Yes, I'm fine. Might as well tell you the truth. The ice cream guy over there," he said, shoving his thumb in his brothers general direction, glaring at him even more when Saeyoung waves at the two of you, "is Saeyoung in disguise. He won't leave me alone. Wants to make sure that I'm 'okay' and he keeps trying to help. But I don'T NEED HIS HELP," he raised his voice loud enough for his brother to hear the last part.

You tilted your head to the side slightly, looking at Saeran with big, confusion filled eyes, "Help with what? Walking? Eating ice cream?"

He thought you were so adorable. The way you were looking at him, he felt his heart race and practically leap out of his chest. He couldn't stand not telling you anymore, and in a split second, he decided to tell you. Caressing your cheek softly he leaned in closer to your face, whispering, "No, help me with this," before placing the softest kiss you could ever imagine to your lips. He was gentle, so if you wanted to back out of it, you could, but he was so happy when you kissed back instead.

When he pulled away, he was a dark shade of red, but kept his face close to your own. Scratching the back of his head with his other hand, he started to stutter a little bit. "I u-um, well I've been trying to say all day that... I, uh, I'm not good with words- or emotions in general, really. But I do know that I really... really like you MC. And apparently Valentine's day is about celebrating your love for someone else so that's.... what.. I've been trying to do. I get if you don't have feelings for me like that, god, why would you? I'm terrible, I'm so sorry, I-" You cut him off by lacing your fingers together behind his neck, pulling him down into another kiss, which he nervously returned.

Once you pulled away, he just looked down at the ground, completely nervous of what to do now. The two of you could hear Saeyoung laughing to himself though, which caught your guys attention. Saeran sent a death glare towards his brother, who was now standing in front of the two of you, holding his phone out towards you.

"Look, MC! I caught a picture of the two of you, you're welcome!" he boasted, not noticing Saeran getting angry to the point his eye started to twitch.

"You... I told you... to leave. Me. ALONE. GET AWAY FROM ME," Saeran shouted, now chasing after his brother. You watched the two of them run around, only partially listening to the death threats Saeran was shooting towards his brother, and Saeyoung begging for mercy.

The picture on the phone was the perfect picture, capturing every emotion, and how much love the two of you had for each other that neither of you fully realized you had during your first kiss. You smiled to yourself, realizing that today could be the first of many Valentine's Days together with Saeran.

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lydiaabroad · 5 years

Text

Journal #3: Thailand

Sawadika! I have just returned from a weeklong excursion to Thailand. The goal of the trip was to learn about the Thai health system, which we did, but it honestly felt like a vacation. I am sitting now in my bed in Delhi in a bit of a cranky mood. It felt incredible to have freedoms in Thailand that we do not have here. We could stay out late, eat whatever we wanted from the street (I still got food poisoning), it just felt liberating! To go on a bit of a tangent, today I was doing my Hindi homework, excited to reward myself with an oreo. I bought a pack of oreos about two weeks ago and hadn’t opened them yet, saving them for a special occasion. I finished my Hindi work and came into my room for my oreo. I checked the nightstand where I had the packet, no oreos in sight, assumed someone cleaning had moved them, but I could not find the oreos! I wasn’t worried and assumed I had hidden them in some other bag, but then, under the night stand, I found the crumpled up wrapper! With a pile of crumbs! I know this is small and stupid but I am so upset. It will probably be funny tomorrow when I go buy myself a new pack of oreos, but tonight it feels like a tangible reminder of the privacy I lack and the little things that are uncomfortable. I cannot stop wondering who came into my room, saw the unopened oreos on my nightstand, decided to open and eat all of them, and not throw away the evidence!!! AH! So it is going to take a few days to readjust to being back after feeling very independent and liberated in Bangkok.

With this heavy weight off my chest, I can now say that Bangkok is very cool. There are interesting juxtapositions of the high-speed concrete air rail and temples, skyscrapers and street markets. I love the look of the sky rail. Imagine heavy concrete slabs cutting through the air. It is honestly kind of ugly but there is something about the way it asserts itself there, in the thin air, overlapping and casting shadows through the city that I find powerful and beautiful. I am reminded of projections of the future, visions of people travelling in vehicles in the air. It seems to me this vision of the future in a more industrial way exists.

On Tuesday I went to the marble temple. I am not sure if it is the marble temple of Bangkok but it was indeed all made of marble. Upon entering the temple one feels a sense of serenity, possibly the cooling effect of the marble, or the aura of power that simply the construction of the structure demanded, but it was a grounding experience to be in this temple. I wish I knew more about Buddhism. I asked Henry to tell me some facts about Buddhism and he told me the following:

1) All life entails suffering, “unsatisfactoriness,” even when you’re happy it’s temporary

2) Suffering is rooted in desire––humans attach themselves to desire and worldly things, thus misconstrue the nature of reality

3) Cessation of desire is possible through the eight-fold path, which includes right thoughts, speech, livelihood, and a few others. Thanks Henry.

It is definitely interesting to consider some of these ideas when in an elaborate marble temple, but the beauty of the temple did demand a presence of me. The courtyard was lined with cup shaped wind chimes that played various pitches as the breeze came by, creating a soothing jangle and energy in the space. Around the perimeter were various Buddha statues from different regions and in different poses. My favorite Buddha form was the slightly chubby one with a distinct waist and sloping love handles, standing with his right hand extended. This pose is to stop family members from fighting.

The ideologies of Buddhism were strong in my visit. We were sponsored by Mahidol University, met every day with kindness, top doctors and healthcare professionals, and extravagant lunches. I was slightly in awe of the generosity of our speakers for their time to tell us, moderately scraggly college students, about Thailand’s healthcare system. My favorite excursion was to a rural health promoting hospital/district center. The staff gave us mango and sticky rice to snack on while we toured the center and learned about what they do. The coolest thing is that volunteers support a major portion of the center. Local people, generally elderly with more time on their hands, volunteer and are trained to promote health and wellness in their areas. They will go into villages to check in on the sick, bring medications, encourage people to go to the center, etc. In India, the sub-centers also had volunteers, ASHAs, but the ASHAs were elected, always women, they are compensated for delivering medications and such, and there were only a few per center. At the center we visited, there were tons of volunteers (even a waiting list of, men and women, who only receive a travel stipend to volunteer. They said that being a volunteer gives them something to do as they get older, but also provides a way to actively give back to the community. This was very moving to me because most of the on the ground work is done by these volunteers and the system is sustainable solely on peoples’ values of volunteerism.

My favorite day in Thailand we went to a community center (that seemed more oriented towards tourists? It was unclear) where we got to bike ride and tie-dye! I was beyond happy to go for a bike ride. I would say that in the last year I have taken to biking more as a method of clearing my head and taking time to myself. To be on a bike provides that incredible feeling of mobility, quickness, but not too fast! I am able to feel myself moving forward, take in the things I pass, let them go. The speed of travel via bike is perfectly manageable. I like this. Also, rural Thailand, wow! Imagine pink, purple, yellow flowers on the trees. Greenery everywhere. There were paths unlike anything I’ve ever seen, concrete, only about six feet wide, elevated over the rivers and fields, interconnected in all of the countryside. They felt like a big puzzle. I want to know who decided to build them.

In the evening after the bike ride I went out for a fancy dinner at Bangkok restaurant, The Local, with some girls from my program. I hadn’t been feeling particularly connected to anyone in my program so this night felt pivotal. I finally felt like I belonged and had people I could be myself with. Let’s talk about the food, though. Wow. The Local is Michelin “recognized” whatever that means, maybe it had a star, but ooh wee this was Thai food I will not forget. I ordered a fried fish because I thought it would be fun to look the fish in the eyes while I ate it. It was indeed good and fun. The star of the evening was one of the girl’s red curry rib roast. When I took a bite of this dish I had to close my eyes and sit back in my chair. I might have teared up. I have never tasted something so tender and perfectly rich. Truly an incredible experience, if you ever go to Bangkok I recommend going to The Local.

On the walk back to our hotel we passed Bangkok’s red light district, so we figured we would walk through. It was very interesting because there were definitely some touristy people there who were also checking it out, but there were also people definitely on the hunt for an experience. We went into one of the clubs and made some men very uncomfortable. The waitress started screaming at us because she knew we weren’t going to buy any drinks and one man definitely got shaken up by seeing a group of young girls catching him in the act, if you will. Sex work in Thailand is super prevalent. When you go out after sunset there are women standing outside most hotels and massage shops with women in short skirts beckon people in. I will be honest, I was a bit taken aback by all this. It’s really interesting because I was trying to figure out how I felt and couldn’t really. I hold the opinion that if someone is choosing to be a sex worker then that is their business and it’s just another way to make money. For many people it is very empowering to be in charge of your sexuality and finances so palpably. I did find myself wondering though in Bangkok since the sheer number of women was so high if it’s the same. I would love to hear your opinion. I was talking to my friend about it and she told me that I am being too sensitive. I don’t want to misquote her, but she took a class on sex work and learned that most women who are sex workers see it simply as a job. Some people like their job and some don’t. Like I said though, I found myself struggling with the fact that so many women were clearly looking for work. There were multiple massage parlors per block, each with around ten women on the porch consistently throughout the night. Women standing outside hotels, too, seemed to be waiting for work until late in the evening. One night I went to out with people in my program and a woman I saw on the way to the club around 10pm was standing in the same spot at 1am. I kept thinking about economics, supply and demand. The supply of workers seemed very high, and I am assuming there is a constant demand, so if many women are looking for work, then it isn’t possible that they are getting the best profits or having the most control over the prices. Maybe this is a strange and limited way to look at it, but it made me wonder. I have nothing but respect for all the women I saw and met. I hope for the best for them.

I was definitely pretty grossed out by all the men I saw though. Maybe this is conflicting with me wanting sex workers to have good work, because they need the clients, but some of these clients were definitely slimy. There would be groups of older men together who would go up to women and touch them and look them up and down, a lot of men would kind of yank women around or hold them really tightly when walking on the streets at night. This made me really concerned and have some questions about the state of empowerment in certain sex work situations in Thailand. But who am I to say… I would love to know peoples’ thoughts and knowledge. Send me an email!

The next day was our final day of classes in Thailand. Two other students and myself were in charge of leading a “synthesis” discussion of all the material we had covered for the week. I am so proud of how this discussion went. I wanted to pose questions that would spark conversations deeper than simply reviewing the material and instead directed towards discussions of underlying connections and themes we had learned about. My favorite question was at the end of the discussion. I told the class that I had been noticing all week how there are certain things when discussing health in Thailand that we never discussed once while in India they were huge components of public health. My question was, what did we not talk about this week in Thailand and what does that tell us about the determinants of health here? The answers were things like gender, education, poverty, and nutrition. These topics did not come up once in Thailand, and I think that is so fascinating because it shows they are not at all issues anymore, which in turn tells us a lot about Thailand’s socio-economic development. This sounds simple in my explanation, but phew, you should have seen it in context, it was a killer question. I realized preparing for this discussion session that I really enjoy facilitating dialogues and directing conversations. I am really proud of everyone in my class for being so generous with critical and deeply thought out responses, and hey, maybe part of that is because I asked good questions! This felt really good because I have been working really hard in the last six months or so on being a better listener and my question-asking skills. I think taking my sociology methods class on interviewing and trying to get to the root of topics helped me. I feel more confident in how to phrase questions to get a certain level of depth in response. I think another helpful tool has been playing hot seat, a game in which one person sits in the middle and is asked questions for two minutes. This game taught me the importance of listening to people and actually hearing what they say, as well as being brave and curious in how I ask questions. I am very proud of this discussion and happy that my work is paying off. I would love to know how you continue to work on being a good listener and how you think about asking questions. These are areas I am always hoping to improve in.

At the end of this day I was very tired and needed some time to myself so I watched Netflix and then found a yoga class! It was very nice and challenging to go into yoga mode. I am proud of myself for taking time for myself and recognizing my needs. After, I went for a walk and bought a coconut to drink. Then I felt recharged to meet up with friends at Art Box, a street market type of space. It was a fun adventure because none of us had cell service in Thailand but they told me they were there. I wandered around for a bit then realized there was live music, and thought to myself, “If these people are my new friends that I am vibing with, they will be watching the live music.” Sure enough, there they were! We had the pleasure of seeing one of Thailand’s up and coming rappers, D Gerrard. I would not call it rap per-se, but maybe a mix of bedroom pop, funk, rap, and indie music. He was amazing. Check out his Spotify. There was no way we couldn’t dance, so I got everyone up and we danced about, then other people joined in! We met this super cool girl and danced with her, then we danced with D Gerrard himself. It’s funny because American people are definitely slightly ridiculous, emotional, and over the top to other cultures. We were having a great time dancing about but some people were looking at us like, “These girls are wild.” It was a great time.

I unfortunately spent all of Saturday in bed with food poisoning. The pad thai from Art Box was just too good. All in all, Thailand was a very nice trip. I would have loved to see the lying down Buddha statue and the home of an American architect/silk trader who mysteriously disappeared, maybe I will go back some day. This journal entry was a bit rough around the edges. Thank you for your patience and please tell me your thoughts on sex work and question asking/listening!

#journal

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