#wwx is still 23. The world against him.

[add1ctedt0you]

What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*

Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.

An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).

But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:

Jin ling

Himself

First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.

jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.

That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.

'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!

So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).

I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.

So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.

#Spriteofmushrooms #I also think jc will be sect leader until his last day. #It's fundamental to his character imo #I am a sucker for characters bonded by duties #Also probably I find yunmeng reconciliations so unsatisfying because I disagree with their interpretations of both characters #wwx is always described as this healthy person who accepts his past and moves on.. Denial isn't acceptance. #wwx is still 23. The world against him. #jc is almost 40. Years of leadership and endurance have shaped him. #Character shaped by their trauma and on a self-discovery/healing journey is my favorite trope to write. I like to leave things open-ended #Because healing it's awful. it's made of up and down. And it requires a lot of time #Tbc I still read fics about them. Now only sugar_shoal fics. They are my favorite! Their wwx is my favorite wwx! #Uh I got off track. sorry. :-/

[rynne]

It’s very meaningful to me that MDZS is a story that says we still have agency after trauma.

Almost every single character has endured terrible, traumatic things. Some were mistreated as children, some have been tortured, some lost their homes and/or families during the war, almost all of them had to fight...except for a few of the juniors, the cast of MDZS have lived through a lot of very bad things.

And MXTX shows us so many different ways to respond to those terrible things -- as well as what kind of responses bring more lasting peace and happiness.

The antagonists are the people who hold onto the resentment and negativity of what happened to them. XY’s disproportionate revenge against the Changs and Baixue Temple, JGY’s decision that his rise to power justifies anything he might do in pursuit of that power, JC’s pursuit of anyone who “could be” WWX, all of the clans destroying the Wen even after the war...these people decided to return pain with worse pain. They’ve been hurt, so all they want to do is lash out.

And this lashing out ultimately hurts them more. XY’s cruelty drove the one person he cared for to suicide. JGY’s methods of gaining power came back to haunt him as Wangxian uncover his deeds. JC turns into an angry, bitter person whose own nephew describes him as “cold, severe, and gloomy for years and years on end. Not a single lenient or merciful word left Jiang Cheng’s mouth if he could help it, nor was he ever willing to offer charity and kindness“ (FYY, chapter 23); he is ultimately forced to realize the way he wronged WWX. The cultivation world, after having murdered the Wen remnants and disrespected their bodies, are confronted with a group of corpses willing to help WWX save their lives.

On the other hand, the people experiencing peace and happiness at the end of the story are those who decided to let go of their hatreds and resentments, no matter how justified the reason for that hatred. Mianmian was nearly strung up as bait for the Xuanwu at the hands of the Wen, facing torture and death in the process, but she is still able to argue in favor of the Wen remnants, and she ends the story happy as a rogue cultivator with a family of her own. Jin Ling was raised to hate WWX, but overcame that hatred and found friendship and family as he actually got to know WWX and the people who came with him. LWJ’s home was destroyed by the Wen, his father murdered, yet he is still able to raise Wen Yuan with loving care into an extraordinary young man. WWX, who also lost his home and loved ones to the Wens, still decided to save them, and further decided to save the clans even after they killed him, and he ends the story with a blissfully happy marriage and stable home.

MDZS doesn’t say that moving past resentment is easy. Jin Ling, conflicted after finding the mentor figure he cared for is the man he was raised to hate, stabs WWX and still has to find his own way forward. WWX, after returning from the Burial Mounds, enacts brutal revenge as Wen Chao, Wen Zhuliu, and Wang Lingjiao, as well as the rest of the Wen army. It is a struggle to move on after being hurt.

MDZS doesn’t say moving past resentment is easy, but it does say that it’s worth it. For the characters who find a way to move forward, to let their kindness define them more than their trauma, to decide that their whole lives don’t have to be about experiencing and dealing out pain...these characters find peace.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #because I'm tired of people using trauma as an excuse #the story doesn't excuse characters who hurt other people because they themselves are in pain #the story says that letting go of resentment is the right thing to do

[red-black-aesthetic-bout]

Wei Wuxian/Yiling Laozu: character info post

- he’s a gay necromancer - hes a funny necromancer who gets resurrected & immediately changes out of plain & unnassuming robes into his extremely recognisable red & black ensemble. despite the fact that hes trying to hide who he is lest the world want him dead again... - He's red, he's black, he's mentally unwell, he plays the dizi, and he's a necromancer. Professional cool sick creature. Also dies at like 23 and comes back 13 years later, as all badass people do. Also he's canonically gay and his husband is blue and white - Gay necromancer dies, comes back from the dead, is married and has a son - local man invents demonic cultivation to win a war, offends everyone in power for going against the status quo for still using it after the war, dies about it and then is brought back to life years later as part of another person's revenge scheme - He is the grandmaster of demonic cultivation and the ultimate doomed by the narrative guy

mod notes: I'm using drama visuals for both characters in this prelim poll because mixing mediums would be unfair imo and I had a very specific outfit in mind for wwx. however, nominations were made for both cql and mdzs, so this poll is not limited to the drama. if you like a character's design in the donghua, audio drama, etc. feel free to vote anyway. if they win. it'll be a win for all versions of canon

vote HERE for untamed/mdzs characters in preliminaries

#wei wuxian #the untamed #mdzs #cql #wwx #character info post

[vrishchikawrites]

Reverse transmigration wangxian where LWJ who cultivates to immortality found an old summoning array where mxy fails to summon wwx but the whole thing with JGY still got revealed. LWJ in his grief summons WWX in our modern world, and the rest is up to you :) Maybe get WWX some therapy and loving family and how different modern days people are

This one is a bit angsty and has vague descriptions of sex. Modern AU.

“The Tragedy of Wei Wuxian - The Man Behind the Legend”

Lan Wangji caresses the title of the book with a thumb, eyes tracing a name he has always held close to heart but hasn’t heard for a long time.

“We all know of Wei Ying, courtesy Wuxian as Yiling Laozu. He’s one of the first to cultivate successfully with ‘resentful’ energy. His theories and papers helped us develop a greater understanding of yin energy, Qi deviation, and resentful spirits. He was a visionary, a man ahead of his time, someone who thought outside the box and looked for solutions instead of sticking to the norm. He’s also the first known person to donate his Golden Core.”

Wangji looks away for a moment, remembering Wen Ning’s snarling face and Jiang Wanyin’s rage, denial, and guilt.

“But we don’t talk about what brought that great visionary down. Society, as it did with many great thinkers, turned against him. In his youth, Wei Wuxian was one of the most accomplished cultivators of his generation. No one knows exactly what happened for him to develop the so-called ‘Ghostly Path’. His loss of the Golden Core may have been a factor, but the actual circumstances are shrouded in mystery.

What follows after the War of the Five Great Clans, known as the Sunshot Campaign, is nothing short of a tragedy. Wei Wuxian saw injustice happening and decided to fight against it. Society tore him up for it. At that time, all actions against him were justified and considered righteous. Those actions don’t stand up to scrutiny under the modern lens. Like all great and radical thinkers, Wei Wuxian ideals made him the enemy and that led to this tragic death, along with the murder of innocent war prisoners he sought to protect. There are unconfirmed reports of there being a child among the Wens.”

Wangji’s eyes flicker over to a picture frame sitting on his desk, an image of Sizhui and Jingyi smiling up at him through the glossy image. They’re well, he knows. Last he heard from them, they were in South Korea and having a great time.

Sizhui must not know of this book or he would’ve called immediately, always so concerned about his a’die.

“It was later revealed that hunger for power and political maneuvering led to his death. When we study the historical records, it is obvious that the man was pushed into the corner and was forced to retaliate. Unfortunately, no one cared about his fate-”

“I did,” Wangji whispered to himself, thinking back on silver eyes in an indistinct face. He loved - still loves Wei Ying - but the physical aspects of him have long since faded from his memory. He sometimes remembers Wei Ying’s laugh. Sometimes, he dreams of his smile. He doesn’t recall what Wei Ying sounded like, only remembering his tone when he said ‘Lan Zhan.’

And yet, Lan Wangji hasn’t forgotten love.

He reads the book in silence, going through all 375 pages of it without pausing to eat or sleep. It tells the story of Wei Ying in stark, blunt terms. There are a few facts missing or erroneous. He wasn’t the adopted child of the Jiangs. There was certainly no unrequited love between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli.

There’s very little mention of him. According to this book, Lan Wangji is a mere footnote in Wei Wuxian’s life; a childhood acquaintance, a disapproving comrade, and later a man who unraveled the truth because he pursued justice.

“He was just 23 years old when he died,” Wangji lingers over that statement, “23-year-olds are barely adults. They hold the promise of a bright future. They have so much potential inside of them. At 23, some people graduate from college, some take up their first serious job. At 23, young people fall in love and maybe form a life-long bond. Wei Wuxian became a key player in a big conflict at 17, he donated his core at 17. At 17, we still have children in high school. Our seventeen-year-olds aren’t even allowed to drink or drive. Our seventeen-year-olds are still protected and sheltered by their parents.

That is perhaps the biggest tragedy of Wei Wuxian’s life. He was only allowed to live a carefree life for seven years, from the day he was taken off the streets to the day the YunmengJiang Sect was attacked. After that and until his death, his life was marked by war, strife, betrayal, and persecution.

A visionary, a hero, a brilliant mind, dead by what most would consider suicide.” Wangji’s breath hitches and he takes a moment to collect himself, the sentence ringing in his head.

“He deserved better.”

---

He deserved better, Wangji thinks as he walks sedately towards his library.

There had been a glimmer of hope, all those years ago when Mo Xuanyu attempted to resurrect Wei Ying, but when he failed to do so, Wangji felt something shatter in him.

Whatever Wei Ying had done had completely destroyed his soul. His precious, noble soul. One that was formed for justice and kindness.

He deserved better.

He knows what he must do.

---

An immortal’s Golden Core has immeasurable power. It is the result of several hundred years of Cultivation and diligence. Wangji is more powerful than most, having survived through war, strife, grief, and loss.

An immortal’s Golden Core can also be an ingredient.

‘Draw the talismans shown below in the blood of your heart. Pin them in eight directions, north, northwest, west, southwest, south, southeast, east, and northeast. Sit in the exact center of this circle and sacrifice half of your cultivation to the being you wish to summon.’’

Wangji’s heart and hands are steady as he draws the talismans from blood drawn directly from the artery. He pins them in all eight directions and sits down in the middle, his hands moving elegantly to summon his Qi. He breathes in and breathes out, sinking into meditation with habitual ease.

It will work.

It has to.

The room floods with Resentful Energy.

---

He deserves better.

Wangji feels torn apart in ways he has never experienced before. The ritual summoning carves something out of his chest and drags it away. His mouth floods with blood and his body weakens alarmingly.

But it doesn’t matter.

Wei Ying.

---

Wei Ying is more beautiful than Wangji remembers. He is bloodsoaked, covered in cuts and bruises, saturated with Resentful Energy, but he’s alive.

And he’s beautiful.

Wangji stumbles to his feet, shakily walking into the bathroom to fetch some warm water. He walks back, his arms feeling the weight of the bucket like they have never carried such weight before. With every step that he takes towards Wei Ying, his heartbeat spikes up a little. He doesn’t know if he chose the right time. He doesn’t know if Wei Ying’s spirit had shattered before his death and dying had just been the aftermath.

Maybe Wei Ying’s body is here and not his soul.

Wangji cannot bear thinking about it.

With weak, shaking hands and the taste of blood lingering in his mouth, he slowly reaches forward. Layer by layer, he removes Wei Ying’s clothes, his fingertips tingling because his beloved’s body is warm.

He deserves better.

With aching tenderness, he wipes Wei Ying clean, removes all blood, grime, and mud from his body.

Wei Ying doesn’t stir.

---

There’s a gentle touch against his cheek. It is strange enough to wake him up because few people dare touch Lan Wangji. Slender fingers tap once, twice, almost playfully and Wangji knows who it is even before he opens his eyes.

Like a sun emerging from the horizon, Wei Ying appears before him, his smile bright and questioning.

“Wei Ying,” He breathes and Wei Ying nods, eyes a sparkling silver. There is so much beauty in that face that he can’t help but reach forward. Ignoring Wei Ying’s surprise, he cups his face and leans forward pressing his forehead against his beloved’s.

Wei Ying is still for a long moment, but he moves eventually, setting hands on Wangji’s shoulder. He doesn’t push him away, just huffing in soft amusement.

“Wei Ying,” He whispers, closing his stinging eyes, “Forgive Wangji for his selfishness.” He says, “I summoned you.” I summoned you without asking, knowing you wouldn’t desire it.

Wei Ying huffs again and that’s when it strikes him.

He pulls back and looks at his beloved in concern, scanning his eyes, face, neck, and chest quickly, his heart racing.

Why wasn’t Wei Ying speaking?

---

“You’re right in suspecting that his spirit sustained some sort of injury even before he was… killed.” Lan Jingyi says softly, pulling away from the sleeping Wei Ying, “There’s nothing physically wrong with him, Hanguang-jun, please don’t worry! His spirit just needs a little bit of time to recover.”

Wangji nods gratefully as he watches Sizhui lean over Wei Ying, his expression full of wonder and desperate happiness. As Sizhui’s cultivation grew, he started remembering more things from his childhood. They have never spoken on the matter of Wei Ying, but Wangji knows his son remembers more than he did when he was a child.

“Now, please let me check you.”

He levels a sharp look at the younger man but Lan Jingyi is no longer the adoring and naive student Wangji taught all those years ago. He’s a strong, accomplished cultivator and an avid researcher.

Lan Jingyi ignores him cheerfully and checks his core, stepping into Wangji's personal space without a care.

He narrows his eyes at the steely glint in the boy's eyes.

"I know you love him, Hanguang-jun," Lan Jingyi says, "And love is worth a life." They're immortals, life has little meaning for people who have lived for centuries, "But I wonder if the Wei Wuxian that you so adore will be happy about you risking your life for him."

Wangji's eyes flicker towards Wei Ying, who looks exhausted even in his sleep. "He deserved better."

Lan Jingyi is silent for a moment before he speaks, "Sizhui and I read the book on our flight back. Everything was horrible, I'm not surprised that his spirit sustained so much damage. But it is almost entirely intact now. It shows how much he wants to live, Hanguang-jun."

It's a relief.

---

Wei Ying can't speak but his presence is still loud. He rests for a few weeks to recover from his injuries. During that time, Wangji spends most of his days moving from Wei Ying's bedside to the library and back again.

His beloved has an insatiable hunger for knowledge. He wants to know everything about the modern world.

Every morning, Wangji is confronted with a bright face with sparkling eyes waving a book or a scroll in his direction.

Wangji hasn't experienced such liveliness in centuries. The very air of his home glows with Wei Ying's vitality. Wei Ying's body recovers quickly and soon the man is out of bed and following Wangji around.

His heart feels too big for his chest.

By all appearances, Wei Ying is perfectly content. He walks around Cloud Recesses, visits Caiyi Town, and is happy to watch the sunset with Wangji every evening.

That had been Wangji's wish when he performed that summoning.

He wanted Wei Ying to have another chance to live free and happy.

Looking at him now, Wangji wants to reach out, cup that cheerful face, and pepper kisses all over it. He wants to kiss those fluttering eyelids, smooth cheeks, sharp jawline-

That soft, smiling mouth.

Wangji is an immortal. He has endless patience. He can wait for Wei Ying to come to him.

He must wait.

---

The modern world fascinates Wei Ying. His beloved looks at everything from tall buildings to food stalls with wide, stunned eyes. Cloud Recesses and Caiyi Town are still relatively untouched by the passage of time, but Wei Ying has free access to the internet and has learned how to use it within two months of his arrival.

Wangji doesn't restrain him.

He just watches as Wei Ying, his brilliant and enthusiastic love, learns to thrive in his new world.

His voice has still not returned but that doesn't seem to bother Wei Ying. He is delighted to learn that there's a way to communicate nonetheless.

He starts learning sign language and Lan Wangji, with patient and steady hands, practices with him.

---

Lan Sizhui follows Wei Ying around with quiet affection and aching tenderness. He's much older than Wei Ying now, but he remains their son in spirit. He treats Wei Ying like a senior, with respect and adoration.

His Wei Ying notices, of course. At first, he finds the situation quite strange but Wei Ying isn't stupid.

'Lan Zhan,' He asks, 'Who is Sizhui?'

Wangji brings his fingers up and replies, 'He's your a-Yuan. I went looking for you but found him instead.'

Wei Ying's eyes widen and he spins around, running out of the room to seek Sizhui.

Wangji follows sedately and when he finds his love and his son, they're embracing while crying tears of joy.

---

'Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!'

Wangji huffs under his breath and carefully sets his brush down, tucking the scroll away before turning to meet bright silver eyes.

Wei Ying leans forward with an eager expression, 'Do you know where Suibian is?'

Wangji nods, 'In storage. I was able to retrieve it from the Jin Clan.'

'Can I have it?'

Wangji rises smoothly to his feet and leads Wei Ying to storage where both Suibian and Chenqing.

Wei Ying only glances at Chenqing for a moment before reaching for Suibian with a desperate expression.

Suibian, a blade that has remained sealed since Jiang Wanyin unsheathed it once, easily reveals itself again.

Wei Ying spins around eagerly and looks at him with pleading eyes.

As Wangji is able to deny Wei Ying nothing, he reaches for Bichen and they immediately head for the training grounds.

It has been a long time since Wangji has really used Bichen to its full capacity. With half of his core pulsing within Wei Ying, they're almost evenly matched.

Wangji has not fought in ages but Wei Ying is still a Cultivator. The spar is fast-paced and thrilling. Wangji acquaints himself with Wei Ying as his love becomes reacquainted with his sword.

Wei Wuxian had been one of the best swordsmen of his generation. He has lost none of his elegance and skill. Wangji presses him and Wei Ying laughs soundlessly, twirling around him in white GusuLan robes, bright and joyful.

He breaks Wangji's heart and mends it at the same time.

---

Wangji has missed Wei Ying for hundreds of years.

He can't resist the urge to touch. He keeps it chaste and respectful but his hands have a mind of their own in Wei Ying's vicinity.

When they're out and about, Wangji guides Wei Ying with a hand on his back. It becomes natural to grasp his love's elbow if he wants Wei Ying's attention.

His touches can easily be dismissed as gestures of friendship by most. But Wei Ying knows him.

'er-gege,' Wei Ying's smile is sweet, 'Wei Ying is cold.'

Wangji's eyes flicker over to the lit fire briefly before landing on his love, 'Are you feeling well?' He asks in concern, reaching forward to place the back of his hand on Wei Ying's forehead.

His beloved laughs and nods, leaning into the touch with a sly smile, 'I'm well, just cold.'

Wangji feels a stir in his chest at the intent look in Wei Ying's eyes. Hesitantly, he cups Wei Ying's cheek in silent question.

Wei Ying nuzzles his palm, his eyelids fluttering close gently.

Desperation and elation flood him and Wangji sucks in a sharp breath. He moves in a blur, lifting Wei Ying off his seat and placing him on his lap.

Wei Ying gasps and giggles, his tall, strong body seeming to almost shrink as he cuddles close. Wangji wraps both arms around his love and squeezes him tight, rocking them gently as he is assaulted with painful love.

"Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying," He chants in Wei Ying's hair, holding him so close, it feels like there's no part of him not touching his love.

When Wei Ying turns to him with a smile in his eyes, Wangji doesn't hesitate to lean forward, bringing their lips together in a long-awaited kiss.

He presses Wei Ying back against the crook of his elbow and tastes his silent laugh on his tongue.

Wangji has never felt so blissful and complete.

---

Jingyi convinces Wei Ying to go to therapy.

Eager to learn and curious, Wei Ying agrees.

He returns from every session with a thoughtful expression.

Months pass but his voice is still lost.

---

They make love and Wei Ying mouths the words he wants to speak. He smiles, sobs, laughs, and pouts as Wangji takes him apart bit by bit.

Wangji has never known such pleasure. He loses himself, drowning in Wei Ying's scent and finding heaven in his body.

He enjoys feeling smooth skin. He sinks his fingers into Wei Ying's silken hair. He tastes the sharp edge of his jaw. He bites. He drives in and takes ownership of Wei Ying's pleasure.

He presses his mischievous sprite into their bed and doesn't hold back, centuries of love pouring out of him.

---

A combination of therapy and Wei Ying's natural approach to life makes his recovery quick. Within a year, he's well-adjusted and happy.

He laughs at almost everything. The first time they fly, the first time they visit an amusement park, the first time they go to an aquarium.

He laughs and Wangji starts noticing the color of his voice returning to it.

Wangji is grateful for what he has. He's grateful that Wei Ying is back, safe, and happy. He is grateful that Wei Ying is unharmed.

But he cannot lie to himself. He misses Wei Ying's voice.

---

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,"

Wangji almost misses it, as engrossed as he is. He presses in deep and feels a shiver of pleasure race down his spine. Wei Ying's fingers curl around Wangji's nape and his lips caress his ear.

"Lan Zhan,"

He stills.

Wangji takes a deep, bracing breath and pulls back a little, balancing on his arms to peer down at his lover.

Wei Ying is a vision. His cheeks flushed, his eyes wide and dark with passion, his lips bitten red from Wangji's kisses. His long hair is scattered and wild, a tangle of glossy strands across Wangji's pillow.

"Lan Zhan,"

Wei Ying's lips move and a voice accompanies that movement. It is slightly hoarse, somewhat weak, but it is still the voice he barely remembers.

Heat flares in him and he sinks deeper, pulling a sharp gasp from Wei Ying.

He spends the entire night filling their room with that precious voice.

---

Wei Ying doesn't ask questions. He doesn't ask why Wangji did what he did. He doesn't ask how he did it. His beloved has always been perspective and he understood Wangji's desperation from the moment he woke.

He reads the book that triggered it all and laughs, "Aiya, they make me out to be some sort of martyr for justice." He says fondly, for he is very fond of the modern world.

Sizhui is sitting at his feet, eyes closed in bliss as Wei Ying gently combs his hair, styling it into an intricate braid.

"They're not wrong, though." Jingyi can never sit straight and he has forgotten all of his Lan teachings over the years. He has his legs thrown over the arm of his chair and his head is dangling over another arm, his hair sweeping the floor as he nods.

Ridiculous.

"I never asked to be glorified in such a way." Wei Ying protests with a chuckle.

"Baba should be grateful no one knows about his resurrection." Sizhui pipes up, "At least, you don't have to deal with modern stans."

Wangji arches a brow at the word and Wei Ying laughs, already more accustomed to the Internet language than Wangji is. "Oh, heaven forbid!"

"But listen, you and Hanguang-jun have the greatest love story ever, you could write a book about it, Wei-quanbei!"

Wei Ying tilts his head to the side and Wangji urges him to consider it with a subtle nod. Wei Ying is happy but he's never content to be idle. The modern world doesn't need cultivation, but perhaps it can benefit from their stories.

---

‘Once you summon successfully, you belong to this being for all eternity as payment for the one wish they may grant. Half of your core will live within them. If they die, you die. If they live, you live. If they hurt, you hurt. If they become corrupt, you become corrupt.

You will sacrifice immortality, but not the eternal bond. Every time you are reincarnated into this world, you will be tethered to the being.

Beware.

Wangji tucks the scroll away, sealing it so that it is never discovered again.

He has no regrets.

#short prompts #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan suzhui #lan jingyi #modern au #canon divergence

[potteresque-ire]

Can you talk more about the usage of the word "wife" to talk about men in the BL context? I've noticed it in BJYX (particularly with GG), in the (English translations) of MDZS, and then it came up in your recent posts about Danmei-101 (which were super helpful btw) with articles connecting the "little fresh meat" type to fans calling an actor "wife." My initial reaction as a westerner is like "this is very problematic," but I think I'm missing a lot of language/cultural context. Any thoughts?

Hello! First of all, for those who’re interested, here’s a link to the referred posts. Under the cut is arguably the 4th post of the series. As usual, I apologise for the length!

(Topics: seme and uke; more about “leftover women”; roster of feminisation terms; Daji, Bao Si & the origin of BJYX; roster of beautiful, ancient Chinese men; Chairman Mao (not part of the roster) ...)

[TW: feminisation of men]

In the traditional BL characterisation, the M/M (double male) lead pairing is essentially a cis-het relationship in disguise, in which one of the M leads is viewed as the “wife” by the creator and audience. This lead often possesses some of the features of the traditional, stereotypical female, but retaining his male appearance. 

In BL terms, the “wife” is the “uke”. “Seme” and “uke” are the respective roles taken by the two male leads, and designated by the creator of the material. Literally, “seme” (攻め) means the dominant, the attacking / aggressive partner in the relationship and “uke” (受け), the passive / recipient (of actions) partner who tends to follow the seme’s lead. The terms themselves do not have any sexual / gender context.  However, as male and female are viewed as aggressive and passive by their traditional social roles, and the attacker and recipient by their traditional sexual roles respectively, BL fandoms have long assigned uke, the passive, sexual “bottom”, as the “woman”, the “wife”. 

Danmei has kept this “semi” and uke” tradition from BL, taking the kanji of the Japanese terms for designation ~ 攻 (”attack” is therefore the “husband”, and 受 (”receive”), the “wife”. The designations are often specified in the introduction / summary of Danmei works as warning / enticement. For MDZS, for example, MXTX wrote:

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 × 邪魅狂狷風騷 受

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 = noble, coolly beautiful and boring seme (referring to LWJ)  邪魅狂狷風騷 受 = devilishly charming, wild, and flirty uke (referring to WWX) 

The traditional, stereotypical female traits given to the “uke”, the “wife” in Danmei and their associated fanworks range from their personality to behaviour to even biological functions. Those who have read the sex scenes in MDZS may be aware of their lack of mention of lube, while WWX was written as getting (very) wet from fluids from his colon (腸道) ~ implying that his colon, much like a vagina, was supplying the necessarily lubrication for sex. This is obviously biologically inaccurate; however, Danmei is exempt from having to be realistic by its original Tanbi definition. The genre’s primary audience is cishet females, and sex scenes such as this one aren’t aiming for realism. Rather, the primary goal of these sex scenes is to generate fantasy, and the purpose of the biologically female functions in one of the leads (WWX) is to ease the readers into imagining themselves as the one engaging in the sex.

Indeed, these practices of assigning as males and female the M/M sexual top and bottom, of emphasising of who is the top and who is the bottom, have been falling out of favour in Western slash fandoms ~ I joined fandom about 15 years ago, and top and bottom designations in slash pairings (and fights about them) were much more common than it is now.  The generally more open, more progressive environments in which Western fandomers are immersed in probably have something to do with it: they transfer their RL knowledge, their views on biology, on different social into their fandom works and discourses. 

I’d venture to say this: in the English-speaking fandoms, fandom values and mainstream values are converging. “Cancel culture” reflects an attempt to enforce RL values in the fictional worlds in fandom. Fandom culture is slowly, but surely, leaving its subculture status and becoming part of mainstream culture. 

I’d hesitate to call c-Danmei fandoms backward compared to Western slash for this reason. There’s little hope for Danmei to converge with China’s mainstream culture in the short term ~ the necessity of replacing Danmei with Dangai in visual media already reflects that. Danmei is and will likely remain subculture in the foreseeable future, and subcultures, at heart, are protests against the mainstream. Unless China and the West define “mainstream” very similarly (and they don’t), it is difficult to compare the “progressiveness”—and its dark side, the “problematic-ness”—of the protests, which are shaped by what they’re protesting against. The “shaper” in this scenario, the mainstream values and culture, are also far more forceful under China’s authoritarian government than they are in the free(-er) world. 

Danmei, therefore, necessarily takes on a different form in China than BL or slash outside China. As a creative pursuit, it serves to fulfil psychological needs that are reflective of its surrounding culture and sociopolitical environment. The genre’s “problematic” / out of place aspects in the eyes of Western fandoms are therefore, like all other aspects of the genre, tailor-made by its millions of fans to be comforting / cathartic for the unique culture and sociopolitical background it and they find themselves in. 

I briefly detoured to talk about the Chinese government’s campaign to pressure young, educated Chinese women into matrimony and motherhood in the post for this reason, as it is an example of how, despite Western fandoms’ progressiveness, they may be inadequate, distant for c-Danmei fans. Again, this article is a short and a ... morbidly-entertaining read on what has been said about China’s “leftover women” (剩女) — women who are unmarried and over 27-years-old). I talked about it, because “Women should enter marriage and parenthood in their late 20s” may no longer a mainstream value in many Western societies, but where it still is, it exerts a strong influence on how women view romance, and by extension, how they interact with romantic fiction, including Danmei.

In China, this influence is made even stronger by the fact that Chinese tradition  places a strong emphasis on education and holds a conservative attitude towards romance and sex. Dating while studying therefore remains discouraged in many Chinese families. University-educated Chinese women therefore have an extremely short time frame — between graduation (~23 years old) and their 27th birthday — to find “the right one” and get married, before they are labelled as “leftovers” and deemed undesirable. (Saving) face being an important aspect in Chinese culture introduces yet another layer of pressure: traditionally, women who don’t get married by the age agreed by social norms have been viewed as failures of upbringing, in that the unmarried women’s parents not having taught/trained their daughters well. Filial, unmarried women therefore try to get married “on time” just to avoid bringing shame to their family.

The outcome is this: despite the strong women characters we may see in Chinese visual media, many young Chinese women nowadays do not expect themselves to be able to marry for love. Below, I offer a “book jacket summary” of a popular internet novel in China, which shows how the associated despair also affects cis-het fictional romance. Book reviews praise this novel for being “boring”: the man and woman leads are both common working class people, the “you-and-I”’s; the mundaneness of them trying build their careers and their love life is lit by one shining light: he loves her and she loves him. 

Written in her POV, this summary reflects, perhaps, the disquiet felt by many contemporary Chinese women university graduates:

曾經以為，自己這輩子都等不到了—— 世界這麼大，我又走得這麼慢，要是遇不到良人要怎麼辦？早過了「全球三十幾億男人，中國七億男人，天涯何處無芳草」的猖狂歲月，越來越清楚，循規蹈矩的生活中，我們能熟悉進而深交的異性實在太有限了，有限到我都做好了「接受他人的牽線，找個適合的男人慢慢煨熟，再平淡無奇地進入婚姻」的準備，卻在生命意外的拐彎處迎來自己的另一半。

I once thought, my wait will never come to fruition for the rest of my life — the world is so big, I’m so slow in treading it, what if I’ll never meet the one? I’ve long passed the wild days of thinking “3 billion men exist on Earth, 0.7 of which are Chinese. There is plenty more fish in the sea.” I’m seeing, with increasing clarity, that in our disciplined lives, the number of opposite-sex we can get to know, and get to know well, is so limited. It’s so limited that I’m prepared to accept someone’s matchmaking, find a suitable man and slowly, slowly, warm up to him, and then, to enter marriage with without excitement, without wonder. But then, an accidental turn in my life welcomes in my other half.

— Oath of Love (餘生，請多指教) (Yes, this is the novel Gg’d upcoming drama is based on.) 

Heteronormativity is, of course, very real in China. However, that hasn’t exempted Chinese women, even its large cis-het population, from having their freedom to pursue their true love taken away from them. Even for cis-het relationships, being able to marry for love has become a fantasy —a fantasy scorned by the state. Remember this quote from Article O3 in the original post? 

耽改故事大多远离现实，有些年轻受众却将其与生活混为一谈，产生不以结婚和繁衍为目的才是真爱之类的偏颇认知。

Most Dangai stories are far removed from reality; some young audience nonetheless mix them up with real life, develop biased understanding such as “only love that doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations is true love”. 

I didn’t focus on it in the previous posts, in an effort to keep the discussion on topic. But why did the op-ed piece pick this as an example of fantasy-that-shouldn’t-be-mixed-up-with-real-life, in the middle of a discussion about perceived femininity of men that actually has little to do with matrimony and reproduction? 

Because the whole point behind the state’s “leftover women” campaign is precisely to get women to treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations, not beautiful sceneries that happen along the way. And they’re the state’s destination as more children = higher birth rate that leads to higher future productivity. The article is therefore calling out Danmei for challenging this “mainstream value”.

Therefore, while the statement True love doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations may be trite for many of us while it may be a point few, if any, English-speaking fandoms may pay attention to, to the mainstream culture Danmei lives in, to the mainstream values dictated by the state, it is borderline subversive.

As much as Danmei may appear “tame” for its emphasis on beauty and romance, for it to have stood for so long, so firmly against China’s (very) forceful mainstream culture, the genre is also fundamentally rebellious.  Remember: Danmei has little hope of converging with China’s mainstream unless it “sells its soul” and removes its homoerotic elements. 

With rebelliousness, too, comes a bit of tongue-in-cheek.

And so, when c-Danmei fans, most of whom being cishet women who interact with the genre by its traditional BL definition, call one of the leads 老婆 (wife), it can and often take on a different flavour. As said before, it can be less about feminizing the lead than about identifying with the lead. The nickname 老婆 (wife) can be less about being disrespectful and more about humorously expressing an aspiration—the aspiration to have a husband who truly loves them, who they do want to get married and have babies with but out of freedom and not obligation.

Admittedly, I had been confused, and bothered by these “can-be”s myself. Just because there are alternate reasons for the feminisation to happen doesn’t mean the feminisation itself is excusable. But why the feminisation of M/M leads doesn’t sound as awful to me in Chinese as in English? How can calling a self-identified man 老婆 (wife) get away with not sounding being predominantly disrespectful to my ears, when I would’ve frowned at the same thing said in my vicinity in English?

I had an old hypothesis: when I was little, it was common to hear people calling acquaintances in Chinese by their unflattering traits:  “Deaf-Eared Chan” (Mr Chan, who’s deaf), “Fat Old Woman Lan” (Ah-Lan, who’s an overweight woman) etc—and the acquaintances were perfectly at ease with such identifications, even introducing themselves to strangers that way. Comparatively speaking then, 老婆 (wife) is harmless, even endearing. 

老婆, which literally means “old old-lady” (implying wife = the woman one gets old with), first became popularised as a colloquial, casual way of calling “wife” in Hong Kong and its Cantonese dialect, despite the term itself being about 1,500 years old. As older generations of Chinese were usually very shy about talking about their love lives, those who couldn’t help themselves and regularly spoke of their 老婆 tended to be those who loved their wives in my memory. 老婆, as a term, probably became endearing to me that way. 

Maybe this is why the feminisation of M/M leads didn’t sound so bad to me?

This hypothesis was inadequate, however. This custom of identifying people by their (unflattering) traits has been diminishing in Hong Kong and China, for similar reasons it has been considered inappropriate in the West.

Also, 老婆 (wife) is not the only term used for / associated with feminisation. I’ve tried to limit the discussion to Danmei, the fictional genre; now, I’ll jump to its associated RPS genre, and specifically, the YiZhan fandoms. The purpose of this jump: with real people involved, feminisation’s effect is potentially more harmful, more acute. Easier to feel. 

YiZhan fans predominantly entered the fandoms through The Untamed, and they’ve also transferred Danmei’s  “seme”/“uke” customs into YiZhan. There are, therefore, three c-YiZhan fandoms:

博君一肖 (BJYX): seme Dd, uke Gg 戰山為王 (ZSWW): seme Gg, uke Dd 連瑣反應 (LSFY): riba Gg and Dd. Riba = “reversible”, and unlike “seme” and “uke”, is a frequently-used term in the Japanese gay community. 

BJYX is by far the largest of the three, likely due to Gg having played WWX, the “uke” in MDZS / TU. I’ll therefore focus on this fandom, ie. Gg is the “uke”, the “wife”.

For Gg alone, I’ve seen him being also referred to by YiZhan fans as (and this is far from a complete list):

* 姐姐 (sister) * 嫂子 (wife of elder brother; Dd being the elder brother implied) * 妃妃 (based on the very first YiZhan CP name, 太妃糖 Toffee Candy, a portmanteau of sorts from Dd being the 太子 “prince” of his management company and Gg being the prince’s wife, 太子妃. 糖 = “candy”. 太妃 sounds like toffee in English and has been used as the latter’s Chinese translation.) * 美人 (beauty, as in 肖美人 “Beauty Xiao”) * Daji 妲己 (as in 肖妲己, “Daji Xiao”). 

The last one needs historical context, which will also become important for explaining the new hypothesis I have.

Daji was a consort who lived three thousand years ago, whose beauty was blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. Gg (and men sharing similar traits, who are exceptionally rare) has been compared to Daji 妲己 for his alternatively innocent, alternatively seductive beauty ~ the kind of beauty that, in Chinese historical texts and folk lores, lead to the fall of kingdoms when possessed by the king’s beloved woman. This kind of “I-get-to-ruin-her-virginity”, “she’s a slut in MY bedroom” beauty is, of course, a stereotypical fantasy for many (cis-het) men, which included the authors of these historical texts and folklores. However, it also contained some truth: the purity / innocence, the image of a virgin, was required for an ancient woman to be chosen as a consort; the seduction, meanwhile, helped her to become the top consort, and monopolise the attention of kings and emperors who often had hundreds of wives ~ wives who often put each other in danger to eliminate competition. 

Nowadays, women of tremendous beauty are still referred to by the Chinese idiom 傾國傾城, literally, ”falling countries, falling cities”. The beauty is also implied to be natural, expressed in a can’t-help-itself way, perhaps reflecting the fact that the ancient beauties on which this idiom has been used couldn’t possibly have plastic surgeries, and most of them didn’t meet a good end ~ that they had to pay a price for their beauty, and often, with their lowly status as women, as consorts, they didn’t get to choose whether they wanted to pay this price or not. This adjective is considered to be very flattering. Gg’s famous smile from the Thailand Fanmeet has been described, praised as 傾城一笑: “a smile that topples a city”.

I’m explaining Daji and 傾國傾城 because the Chinese idiom 博君一笑 “doing anything to get a smile from you”, from which the ship’s name BJYX 博君一肖  was derived (笑 and 肖 are both pronounced “xiao”), is connected to yet another of such dynasty-falling beauty, Bao Si 褒姒. Like Daji before her, Bao Si was blamed for the end of the Zhou Dynasty in 771 BC. 

The legend went like this: Bao Si was melancholic, and to get her to smile, her king lit warning beacons and got his nobles to rush in from the nearby vassal states with their armies to come and rescue him, despite not being in actual danger. The nobles, in their haste, looked so frantic and dishevelled that Bao Si found it funny and smiled. Longing to see more of the smile of his favourite woman, the king would fool his nobles again and again, until his nobles no longer heeded the warning beacons when an actual rebellion came. 

What the king did has been described as 博紅顏一笑, with 紅顏 (”red/flushed face”) meaning a beautiful woman, referring to Bao Si. Replace 紅顏 with the respectful “you”, 君, we get 博君一笑. If one searches the origin of the phrase 博 [fill_in_the_blank]一笑 online, Bao Si’s story shows up.

The “anything” in ”doing anything to get a smile from you” in 博君一笑, therefore, is not any favour, but something as momentous as giving away one’s own kingdom. c-turtles have remarked, to their amusement and admittedly mine, that “king”, in Chinese, is written as 王, which is Dd’s surname, and very occasionally, they jokingly compare him to the hopeless kings who’d give away everything for their love. Much like 傾國傾城 has become a flattering idiom despite the negative reputations of Daji and Bao Si for their “men-ruining ways”, 博君一笑 has become a flattering phrase, emphasising on the devotion and love rather than the ... stupidity behind the smile-inducing acts. 

(Bao Si’s story, BTW, was a lie made up by historians who also lived later but also thousands of years ago, to absolve the uselessness of the king. Warning beacons didn’t exist at her time.)  

Gg is arguably feminized even in his CP’s name. Gg’s feminisation is everywhere. 

And here comes my confession time ~ I’ve been amused by most of the feminisation terms above. 肖妲己 (”Daji Xiao”) captures my imagination, and I remain quite partial to the CP name BJYX. Somehow, there’s something ... somewhat forgivable when the feminisation is based on Gg’s beauty, especially in the context of the historical Danmei / Dangai setting of MDZS/TU ~ something that, while doesn’t cancel, dampens the “problematic-ness” of the gender mis-identification.

What, exactly, is this something?

Here’s my new hypothesis, and hopefully I’ll manage to explain it well ~

The hypothesis is this: the unisex beauty standard for historical Chinese men and women, which is also breathtakingly similar to the modern beauty standard for Chinese women, makes feminisation in the context of Danmei (especially historical Danmei) flattering, and easier to accept.

What defined beauty in historical Chinese men? If I am to create a classically beautiful Chinese man for my new historical Danmei, how would I describe him based on what I’ve read, my cultural knowledge?

Here’s a list:

* Skin fair and smooth as white jade * Thin, even frail; narrow/slanted shoulders; tall * Dark irises and bright, starry eyes * Not too dense, neat eyebrows that are shaped like swords ~ pointed slightly upwards from the center towards the sides of the face * Depending on the dynasty, nice makeup.

Imagine these traits. How “macho” are they? How much do they fit the ideal Chinese masculine beauty advertised by Chinese government, which looks like below?

Propaganda poster, 1969. The caption says “Defeat Imperialist US! Defeat Social Imperialism!” The book’s name is “Quotations from Mao Zedong”. (Source)

Where did that list of traits I’ve written com from? Fair like jade, frail ... why are they so far from the ... “macho”ness of the men in the poster? 

What has Chinese history said about its beautiful men? 

Wei Jie (衛玠 286-312 BCE), one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men (古代四大美男) recorded in Chinese history famously passed away when fans of his beauty gathered and formed a wall around him, blocking his way. History recorded Wei as being frail with chronic illness, and was only 27 years old when he died. Arguably the first historical account of “crazy fans killing their idol”, this incident left the idiom 看殺衛玠 ~ “Wei Jie being watched to death.” ~ a not very “macho” way to die at all.

潘安 (Pan An; 247-300 BCE), another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, also had hoards of fangirls, who threw fruits and flowers at him whenever he ventured outside. The Chinese idiom 擲果盈車 “thrown fruit filling a cart” was based on Pan and ... his fandom, and denotes such scenarios of men being so beautiful that women openly displayed their affections for them. 

Meanwhile, when Pan went out with his equally beautiful male friend, 夏侯湛 Xiahou Zhan, folks around them called them 連璧 ~ two connected pieces of perfect jade. Chinese Jade is white, smooth, faintly glowing in light, so delicate that it gives the impression of being somewhat transparent.

Aren’t Wei Jie and Pan An reminiscent of modern day Chinese idols, the “effeminate” “Little Fresh Meat”s (小鲜肉) so panned by Article O3? Their stories, BTW, also elucidated the historical reference in LWJ’s description of being jade-like in MDZS, and in WWX and LWJ being thrown pippas along the Gusu river bank. 

Danmei, therefore, didn’t create a trend of androgynous beauty in men as much as it has borrowed the ancient, traditional definition of masculine Chinese beauty ~ the beauty that was more feminine than masculine by modern standards.  

[Perhaps, CPs should be renamed 連璧 (”two connected pieces of perfect jade”) as a reminder of the aesthetics’ historical roots.]

Someone may exclaim now: But. But!! Yet another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, 高長恭 (Gao Changgong, 541-573 BCE), far better known by his title, 蘭陵王 (”the Prince of Lanling”), was a famous general. He had to be “macho”, right?

... As it turns out, not at all. Historical texts have described Gao as “貌柔心壮，音容兼美” (”soft in looks and strong at heart, beautiful face and voice”), “白美類婦人” (”fair and beautiful as a woman”), “貌若婦人” (”face like a woman”). Legends have it that The Prince of Lanling’s beauty was so soft, so lacking in authority that he had to wear a savage mask to get his soldiers to listen to his command (and win) on the battlefield (《樂府雜錄》: 以其顏貌無威，每入陣即著面具，後乃百戰百勝).

This should be emphasised: Gao’s explicitly feminine descriptions were recorded in historical texts as arguments *for* his beauty. Authors of these texts, therefore, didn’t view the feminisation as insult. In fact, they used the feminisation to drive the point home, to convince their readers that men like the Prince of Lanling were truly, absolutely good looking.

Being beautiful like a women was therefore high praise for men in, at least, significant periods in Chinese history ~ periods long and important enough for these records to survive until today. Beauty, and so it goes, had once been largely free of distinctions between the masculine and feminine.

One more example of an image of an ancient Chinese male beauty being similar to its female counterpart, because the history nerd in me finds this fun. 

何晏 (He Yan, ?-249 BCE) lived in the Wei Jin era (between 2nd to 4th century), during which makeup was really en vogue. Known for his beauty, he was also famous for his love of grooming himself. The emperor, convinced that He Yan’s very fair skin was from the powder he was wearing, gave He Yan some very hot foods to eat in the middle of the summer. He Yan began to sweat, had to wipe himself with his sleeves and in the process, revealed to the emperor that his fair beauty was 100% natural ~ his skin glowed even more with the cosmetics removed (《世說新語·容止第十四》: 何平叔美姿儀，面至白。魏明帝疑其傅粉，正夏月，與熱湯餅。既啖，大汗出，以朱衣自拭，色轉皎然). His kick-cosmetics’-ass fairness won him the nickname 傅粉何郎 (”powder-wearing Mr He”).

Not only would He Yan very likely be mistaken as a woman if this scene is transferred to a modern setting, but this scene can very well fit inside a Danmei story of the 21st century and is very, very likely to get axed by the Chinese censorship board for its visualisation. 

[Important observation from this anecdote: the emperor was totally into this trend too.]

The adjectives and phrases used above to describe these beautiful ancient Chinese men ~ 貌柔, 音容兼美, 白美, 美姿儀, 皎然 ~ have all become pretty much reserved for describing beauty in women nowadays. Beauty standards in ancient China were, as mentioned before, had gone through significantly long periods in which they were largely genderless. The character for beauty 美 (also in Danmei, 耽美) used to have little to no gender association. Free of gender associations as well were the names of many flowers. The characters for orchid (蘭) and lotus (蓮), for example, were commonly found in men’s names as late as the Republican era (early 20th century), but are now almost exclusively found in women’s names. Both orchid and lotus have historically been used to indicate 君子 (junzi, roughly, “gentlemen”), which have always been men. MDZS also has an example of a man named after a flower: Jin Ling’s courtesy name, given to him by WWX,  was 如蘭 (”like an orchid”). 

A related question may be this: why does ancient China associate beauty with fairness, with softness, with frailty? Likely, because Confucianist philosophy and customs put a heavy emphasis on scholarship ~ and scholars have mostly consisted of soft-spoken, not muscular, not working-under-the-sun type of men. More importantly, Confucianist scholars also occupied powerful government positions. Being, and looking like a Confucianist scholar was therefore associated with status. Indeed, it’s very difficult to look like jade when one was a farmer or a soldier, for example, who constantly had to toil under the sun, whose skin was constantly being dried and roughened by the elements. Having what are viewed as “macho” beauty traits as in the poster above ~ tanned skin, bulging muscles, bony structures (which also take away the jade’s smoothness) ~ were associated with hard labour, poverty and famine.

Along that line, 手無縛雞之力 (“hands without the strength to restrain a chicken”) has long been a phrase used to describe ancient scholars and students, and without scorn or derision. Love stories of old, which often centred around scholars were, accordingly, largely devoid of the plot lines of husbands physically protecting the wives, performing the equivalent of climbing up castle walls and fighting dragons etc. Instead, the faithful husbands wrote poems, combed their wife’s hair, traced their wife’s eyebrows with cosmetics (畫眉)...all activities that didn’t require much physical strength, and many of which are considered “feminine” nowadays.

Were there periods in Chinese history in which more ... sporty men and women were appreciated? Yes. the Tang dynasty, for example, and the Yuan and Qing dynasties. The Tang dynasty, as a very powerful, very open era in Chinese history, was known for its relations to the West (via the Silk Road). The Yuan and Qing dynasties, meanwhile, were established by Mongolians and Manchus respectively, who, as non-Han people, had not been under the influence of Confucian culture and grew up on horsebacks, rather than in schools.

The idea that beautiful Chinese men should have “macho” attributes was, therefore, largely a consequence of non-Han-Chinese influence, especially after early 20th century. That was when the characters for beauty (美), orchid (蘭), lotus (蓮) etc began their ... feminisation. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which started its reign of the country starting 1949, also has foreign roots, being a derivative of the Soviets, and its portrayal of ideal men has been based on the party’s ideology, painting them as members of the People’s Liberation Army (Chinese army) and its two major proletariat classes, farmers and industrial workers ~ all occupations that are “macho” in their aesthetics, but held at very poor esteem in ancient Chinese societies. All occupations that, to this day, may be hailed as noble by Chinese women, but not really deemed attractive by them.

Beauty, being an instinct, is perhaps much more resistant to propaganda.

If anything, the three terms Article O3 used to describe “effeminate” men ~ 奶油小生 “cream young men” (popularised in 1980s) , 花美男 “flowery beautiful men” (early 2000s), 小鲜肉 “little fresh meat” (coined in 2014 and still popular now) ~ only informs me how incredibly consistent the modern Chinese women’s view of ideal male beauty has been. It’s the same beauty the Chinese Communist Party has called feminine. It’s the same beauty found in Danmei. It’s the same beauty that, when witnessed in men in ancient China, was so revered that historians recorded it for their descendants to remember. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any women who appreciate the "macho” type ~ it’s just that, the appreciation for the non-macho type has never really gone out of fashion, never really changed. The only thing that is really changing is the name of the type, the name’s positive or negative connotations.

(Personally, I’m far more uncomfortable with the name “Little fresh meat” (小鲜肉) than 老婆 (wife). I find it much more insulting.)

Anyway, what I’d like to say is this: feminisation in Danmei ~ a genre that, by definition, is hyper-focused on aesthetics ~ may not be as "problematic” in Chinese as it is in English, because the Chinese tradition didn’t make that much of a differentiation between masculine and feminine beauty. Once again, this isn’t to say such mis-gendering isn’t disrespectful; it’s just that, perhaps, it is less disrespectful because Chinese still retains a cultural memory in which equating a beautiful man to a beautiful woman was the utmost flattery. 

I must put a disclaimer here: I cannot vouch for this being true for the general Chinese population. This is something that is buried deep enough inside me that it took a lot of thought for me to tease out, to articulate. More importantly, while I grow up in a Chinese-speaking environment, I’ve never lived inside China. My history knowledge, while isn’t shabby, hasn’t been filtered through the state education system.

I’d also like to point out as well, along this line of thought, that in *certain* (definitely not all) aspects, Chinese society isn’t as sexist as the West. While historically, China has periods of extreme sexism against women, with the final dynasties of Ming and Qing being examples, I must (reluctantly) acknowledge Chairman Mao for significantly lifting the status of women during his rule. Here’s a famous quote of his from 1955:

婦女能頂半邊天 Women can lift half the skies

The first marriage code, passed in 1950, outlawed forced marriages, polygamy, and ensured equal rights between husband and wife.  For the first time in centuries, women were encouraged to go outside of their homes and work. Men resisted at first, wanting to keep their wives at home; women who did work were judged poorly for their performance and given less than 50% of men’s wage, which further fuelled the men’s resistance. Mao said the above quote after a commune in Guizhou introduced the “same-work-same-wage” system to increase its productivity, and he asked for the same system to to be replicated across the country. (Source)

When Chairman Mao wanted something, it happened. Today, Chinese women’s contribution to the country’s GDP remains among the highest in the world.  They make up more than half of the country’s top-scoring students. They’re the dominant gender in universities, in the ranks of local employees of international corporations in the Shanghai and Beijing central business districts—among the most sought after jobs in the country. While the inequality between men and women in the workplace is no where near wiped out — stories about women having to sleep with higher-ups to climb the career ladder, or even get their PhDs are not unheard of, and the central rulership of the Chinese Communist Party has been famously short of women — the leap in women’s rights has been significant over the past century, perhaps because of how little rights there had been before ~ at the start of the 20th century, most Chinese women from relatively well-to-do families still practised foot-binding, in which their feet were literally crushed during childhood in the name of beauty, of status symbol. They couldn’t even walk properly.

Perhaps, the contemporary Chinese women’s economic contribution makes the sexism they encounter in their lives, from the lack of reproductive rights to the “leftover women” label, even harder to swallow. It makes their fantasies fly to even higher, more defiant heights. The popularity of Dangai right now is pretty much driven by women, as acknowledged by Article O3. Young women, especially, female fans who people have dismissed as “immature”, “crazy”, are responsible for the threat the Chinese government is feeling now by the genre.

This is no small feat. While the Chinese government complains about the “effeminate” men from Danmei / Dangai, its propaganda has been heavily reliant on stars who have risen to popularity to these genres. The film Dd is currently shooting, Chinese Peacekeeping Force (維和部隊), also stars Huang Jingyu (黄景瑜), and Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) ~ the three actors having shot to fame from The Untamed (Dangai), Addicted (Danmei), and Word of Honour (Dangai) respectively.  Zhang, in particular, played the “uke” role in Word of Honour and has also been called 老婆 (wife) by his fans. The quote in Article O3, “Ten years as a tough man known by none; one day as a beauty known by all” was also implicitly referring to him.

Perhaps, the government will eventually realise that millennia-old standards of beauty are difficult to bend, and by extension, what is considered appropriate gender expression of Chinese men and women. 

In the metas I’ve posted, therefore, I’ve hesitated in using terms such as homophobia, sexism, and ageism etc, opting instead to make long-winded explanations that essentially amount to these terms (thank you everyone who’s reading for your patience!). Because while the consequence is similar—certain fraction of the populations are subjected to systemic discrimination, abuse, given less rights, treated as inferior etc—these words, in English, also come with their own context, their own assumptions that may not apply to the situation. It reminds me of what Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina,

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Discrimination in each country, each culture is humiliating, unhappy in its own way. Both sexism and homophobia are rampant in China, but as their roots are different from those of the West, the ways they manifest are different, and so must the paths to their dissolution. I’ve also hesitated on calling out individual behaviours or confronting individuals for this reason. i-Danmei fandoms are where i-fans and c-fans meet, where English-speaking doesn’t guarantee a non-Chinese sociopolitical background (there may be students from China, for example; I’m also ... not entirely Western), and I find it difficult to articulate appropriate, convincing arguments without knowing individual backgrounds.

Frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing. Because I do hope feminisation will soon fade into extinction, especially in i-Danmei fandoms that, if they continue to prosper on international platforms, may eventually split from c-Danmei fandoms along the cultural (not language) line due to the vast differences in environmental constraints. My hope is especially true when real people are involved, and c-fandoms, I’d like to note, are not unaware of the issues surrounding feminisation ~ it has already been explicitly forbidden in BJYX’s supertopic on Weibo. 

At the same time, I’ve spent so many words above to try to explain why beauty can *sometimes* lurk behind such feminisations. Please allow me to end this post with one example of feminisation that I deeply dislike—and I’ve seen it used by fans on Gg as well—is 綠茶 (”green tea”), from 綠茶婊 (”green tea whore”) that means women who look pure / innocent but are, deep down, promiscuous / lustful. In some ways, its meaning isn’t so different from Daji 妲己, the consort blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. However, to me at least, the flattery in the feminisation is gone, perhaps because of the character “whore” (婊), because the term originated in 2013 from a notorious sex party rather than from a legendary beauty so maligned that The Investiture of the Gods (封神演義), the seminal Chinese fiction written ~2,600 years after Daji’s death, re-imagined her as a malevolent fox spirit (狐狸精) that many still remembers her as today.

Ah, to be caught between two cultures. :)

#tell-me-everything #pie metas #yizhan #bjyx

[baoshan-sanren]

Chapter 24

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Lan QiRen’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23

Tomorrow comes too soon, and for Wei Ying, it comes with insistent and painful flicks to his ear.

He groans, his ribs aching, his head still throbbing lightly, warning him that the amount of sleep he had gotten is nowhere within the acceptable parameters. The next flick to his ear is particularly vicious, and he tries to swat it away, his face still buried in the blankets. His toes feel cramped. Shifting them does nothing but make his ankles ache. Is he still wearing boots? Why?

A vicious slap lands on his ear, propelling him upright.

“What--“

Nie HuaiSang is sitting up in bed, his arm strapped to his chest, the other hand half-raised, as if he intends to slap him again.

“A-Sang!”

Somewhere on the other side of the bed, Jiang Cheng groans in complaint. Wei Ying can see nothing of him but one purple shoulder and a tuft of hair. HuaiSang is still pale, but it looks as if he had taken care to arrange his sleeping robes, and comb his fingers through his hair before viciously slapping Wei Ying awake.

“How do you feel?” Wei Ying asks carefully.

“How do I feel?” A-Sang says incredulously, “How do I feel?”

Uh-oh, Wei Ying thinks.

“I feel like an arrow went through my shoulder,” he hisses, “I am in pain. I feel miserable, and hungry, and extremely fucking angry. How am I supposed to get dressed?”

“How-- what?”

“How am I supposed to get dressed with this thing on my arm?” A-Sang growls.

Jiang Cheng groans in complaint again. HuaiSang snatches a pillow, and whacks him three times in quick succession.

Jiang Chen is upright almost as quickly as Wei Ying had been, his hair an unholy mess, his expression murderous.

The moment he sees HuaiSang, his expression softens, and he opens his mouth.

“Do not ask him how he feels,” Wei Ying says quickly, and gets a pillow to his face for his efforts.

“Get up!” A-Sang snaps, “Both of you. I want breakfast. I want roast duck and wild herb salad, stir-fried spinach with dried shrimp, steamed lotus root with rice, steamed buns, and I better not see any of that minced pumpkin abomination in my buns either. I want them stuffed with mutton. And where is my tea? Is this the Emperor’s palace or a QiShan winehouse? Move!”

Wei Ying scrambles off the bed. He is still within the reach of the pillow, and does not think his head would tolerate another hit. Jiang Cheng is a little slower, tangling in his own robes, and the pillow catches him on the ear.

“I want Wen Qing to give me something for pain. I want all the Imperial seamstresses in this room in less than an hour, and they best be ready to work. You--“ he points the pillow at Wei Ying, “owe me an entire closet of robes. We will settle on the number, and then I will increase it, and you will not say a single word in complaint. Understood?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying says quickly.

“And you--!” he points the pillow at Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng is finally awake, and now fully cognizant of the situation.

“Tea!” he exclaims, “Worthless servants! Where is the tea?”

And then he escapes, leaving Wei Ying all alone with furious HuaiSang who looks as if he wants to be clutching a sword instead of the pillow.

“I want a palace,” A-Sang snarls, “of my own. And thirty servants, in addition to the five I have now.”

“Done,” Wei Ying says quickly.

A-Sang’s eyes narrow, “I want a title for A-Jue.”

“Fine.”

“And a three-day banquet thrown in my honor every year, until I am old and blind.”

“Done.”

HuaiSang grunts, and puts the pillow down.

Wei Ying waits a few moments, then shuffles a little closer.

“Can I sit down now? Or do you want to hit me again?”

“You may sit,” A-Sang says graciously, “I might hit you again anyway.”

Wei Ying feels that is an acceptable risk to take, and settles down on the step below the bed, where Jiang Cheng had spent the majority of the night.

“I assume you did not catch the assassin,” HuaiSang huffs, readjusting his robes.

“No. The arrow came from the East watchtower, but the assassin was gone by the time A-Cheng got there. He left two arrows behind. Perhaps he is not as skilled as we thought.”

“I should say,” HuaiSang says scornfully, “He has done a terrible job of trying to kill you.”

Wei Ying’s throat tightens. He will have waking nightmares of that arrow shifting a little more to the right, and he will deserve each one.

HuaiSang waves a hand in front of his face, “Stop that. I am not in the mood for your self-pity right now. Do we have any new information? At all?”

Aside from the fact that someone had tried to kill him in the view of every Sect in the cultivation world? Absolutely nothing. This had definitely not been an average assassination attempt. But the way in which it differs does not offer any clues.

“They were Lan Sect arrows,” Wei Ying says.

“Hm. I am not surprised. Anything else?”

“Lan QiRen,” Wei Ying says, “showed me a note that was waiting for them at the Peach Blossom Pavilion the night they arrived. The note said that the Young Masters are in danger, and that they should leave the Immortal Mountain.”

“Interesting. Do you have the note?”

Wei Ying has been keeping it in his sleeve, and he hands it over.

HuaiSang hesitates a moment, his fingers brushing over the dry blood prints Wei Ying had left on the paper. But he does not say anything about them, unfolding the note, and frowning at the characters.

“This was written by a child,” he says, his tone surprised.

“Or someone who has never really learned how to write,” Wei Ying counters.

“If we assume it is the same person,” A-Sang muses, “it is someone who is young, uneducated, but has a fair amount of spiritual power for their age. Probably someone who lacks confidence in that power as well. If this is a disciple, they have not been one for long.”

“It could be more than one person,” Wei Ying says.

“It does not matter,” A-Sang sniffs, folding up the note, “Assassinations are my domain. Mine and A-Cheng’s. You just go do-- whatever you need to be doing.”

He tucks the note in his own sleeve, and Wei Ying knows he will likely never see it again.

“You should not even be here right now,” HuaiSang says, frowning, “Was the archery competition postponed?”

“It was canceled,” Wei Ying says, “It seemed in poor taste, considering.”

“Hm,” HuaiSang says, “You should go to YiLing today, then.”

“What? Why?”

They have been planning Wei Ying’s Great Escape to YiLing for months now. How to hide his absence from the court. How to get by the main gate. How to disguise himself properly. How to enter the Immortal Mountain again without raising an alarm. It has become a frequent subject of their drunk planning, their schemes and ideas often spiraling into fantastical nonsense the more alcohol they consumed.

Yet, Wei Ying never truly believed that these ploys would ever come to fruition.

“Because,” HuaiSang says patiently, “We need to ascertain how closely the assassin is positioned to the throne. Obviously close enough that they had access to the palaces and the Imperial servants, but not close enough to have caught wind of your competition scheme. This is a perfect opportunity. Although, it will not be the great escape we planned.”

His face scrunches up in displeasure. As the mastermind of the Great Escape, he has taken pride in planning out the minutiae, and Wei Ying knows it must irk him to have to make adjustments.

“Some people will need to know. I will need YanLi’s assistance. Is A-Lin back yet? No, never mind,” he says, before Wei Ying can even open him mouth, “I think I can do without him. But the Lan Sect will definitely need to be informed. Actually, take Lan WangJi with you, and see if you can convince Lan XiChen can tag along, as a-- chaperone of some sort.”

“Wait a moment--“ Wei Ying splutters, but A-Sang is no longer paying attention to him.

“We must be able to trust the Nie Sect, at the very least. I need to speak to my brother first; only he can decide if Nie ZongHui can be trusted with the details of the plan. What time is it? Is it still mid-morning? I hate doing things on a tight schedule, you know. This is how mistakes are made. Where is my damn tea? Did A-Cheng get lost on the way to the kitchens?”

Wei Ying opens his mouth, and A-Sang waves a hand in front of his face again.

“We should have sent a message to QiShan sooner,” he snaps, “I despise making decisions based on flimsy and insufficient information. Well? You need be ready to leave by sundown. Go, speak to the Lan Sect, then come back. Did I not just say that we do not have a lot of time? Move!”

Before Wei Ying has a chance to respond, Wen Qing is sweeping into the room, and A-Sang is slumping dramatically against the blankets.

“Wen Qing,” he whines breathlessly, “I am in agony. Absolute agony. I cannot live with this pain. The room is spinning. Is it getting darker? Oh. Oh! I think I will faint again.”

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #ficlet #m #wwx emperor au #you can pry my sworn brothers puppy pile headacanon out of my cold lifeless hands #ily guys #thank you for all the nice messages and tags and comments

[xiyao-feels]

I was about to be like I'm not sure why people think LXC didn't know about JGY doing awful stuff for JGS and then I was like oooooh yeah right, people think LXC didn't know he was killing the people in ep 23. Looking forward to finishing current project so that I can go explain my reasoning for that one, but as a short version check the visual presentation of the people we see JGY killing vs the people we see Zixun killing a couple scenes down.

But putting that aside for now, I'm kind of confused what people think LXC thinks about the whole Xue Yang situation.

Like... he's got to know that XY is actually guilty, which means he knows that JGY is working to free and shift the blame from and protect from all consequence a man who up and killed a clan! And in CQL, worked with the Wen, entirely willingly!, and killed a bunch of NMJ's men, as well. Even if we say he doesn't know about the Tingshan He—and I think you could argue he would know at least some of what happened, but it's not like the text says either way to my knowledge—there's also the Jin clan's campaign of pressure against Chang Ping to withdraw his testimony, which JGY is at least complicit with and quite probably involved in or directing. And then XY goes and kills SL's temple and blinds SL, so it's not like that's harmless!

I always think this bit in ch 30 is pretty telling, for what it doesn't say as much as what it does:

This time, with his experience of wiping out a sect, he made sure to not leave any evidence. Although everybody knew that he was the one who did it, what would be the use of that? There wasn’t any evidence. And, with Jin GuangShan’s deliberate protection and the death of the violent ChiFeng-Zun, nobody could do anything about him.

Wei WuXian found this a bit strange. Although Lan WangJi looked as if he didn’t care about anything, from Wei WuXian’s past experiences with him, he absolutely couldn’t stand wrongdoings, possibly even more than Nie HuaiSang’s brother. Back then, the LanlingJin Sect had some dishonest ways of doing things, and Lan WangJi never bothered to be subtle about them. Even until now, he always refused to go to their sect’s Discussion Conferences. If two cruel massacres happened, the news would’ve probably spread over the entire cultivational world and Lan WangJi definitely wouldn’t have turned a blind eye to them. Why did he not go and give Xue Yang what he deserved?

Just as he was about to ask, he remembered the scars that the discipline whip gave him.

One lash of the discipline whip would already be quite severe. If Lan WangJi made some sort of a grave mistake and received so many lashes, he had probably been grounded for a few years. It was likely that he was either going through his punishment or waiting for his wounds to heal during the years when the incidents happened. No wonder he said had only “heard” about what happened.

WWX finds it strange that LWJ didn't do anything—but LXC was there! JGY ends up hiding behind him at the initial confrontation about XY! And WWX doesn't find that strange, at all. For that matter—LWJ heard about it? Who did he hear about it from? I'm not actually saying it has to be LXC, but it or some of it certainly could be...

I'm not saying LXC knows all the details, but with the exception of killing NMJ I don't think JGY is exactly like—actively concealing them. It's more like—well, what would be the point? JGY still has to do this shit, and they both know that; it would just distress LXC uselessly, and JGY definitely prefers not to distress er-ge.

And then JGY becomes zongzhu, and because he doesn't actually go around wiping out clans for fun and profit when he's making the decisions, all this shit stops. (Unless the profit is like. His life. And maybe the success of the watchtower project if you buy that—but it's nothing like JGS.) And instead you get a giant and wonderful infrastructure project—exactly as LXC would have predicted! He was working with JGY on thr watchtower proposals well before JGS' death, we see it at the stairs incident.

...and then they both live to be two hundred and fifty and retire together and live happily ever after...if only :'(

#I may regret this post later #I don't have specific reason to believe that but I am definitely tiredposting so #prequel to weakness is very good here #read that and my friends and I were all going !!!!!! !!!!!!! !!!!!!! at each other

[wangxianfics]

Hi! Do you know of post-canon fics where WWX almost dies and LWJ is scared shitless? Happy ending is a must. Thanks!!!

Hi nonny, yes we do know of some!

TW for “Hurt!Injured!WWX” and “Near Death Experience” :

this storm that should not be by TheDameJudiWench (6+K, General)

(Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Hurt & Comfort, Drowning, Empathy, Family Dynamics, Yunmeng Shuangjie Reconciliation)

When Wei Wuxian is trapped during a night hunt, Sizhui goes to Lotus Pier for help.

Or, a story about the homes we make for ourselves.

Detailed comment here

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (66+K, Explicit)

(Canon Divergence - Qiongqi Path, Hurt & Comfort, Respiratory Illness, Golden Core Split, Hurt!WWX, Injury, Surgery, Angst With a Happy Ending)

Wei Wuxian travels to Lanling for his nephew’s one-month celebration alone, without Wen Ning.

Lan Wangji lives with the consequences.

Detailed comment here

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (23+K, Explicit)

(Post-Canon, Hurt & Comfort, Nightmares, Literal Sleeping Together, Pining)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

@attilarrific​

Detailed comment here

keeping rabbits by museaway (3+K, Teen)

(Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Soul-Shifting Spell, Bunny!WWX, Animal Transformation, Emotional Hurt & Comfort, Brief Outdoor Sex, POV WWX)

Bored stiff during a trip home to the Cloud Recesses, Wei WuXian’s plans for a day of drinking are ruined when he gets his soul stuck in a rabbit. Unable to reverse the spell, he can only wait to be found, relieved when it's Lan Zhan who discovers his unconscious body hours later, only Wei WuXian isn't prepared for his reaction. 

Detailed comment here

some good mistakes by Lise (18+K, Teen)

(Post-Canon, Road Trips, POV JC, Awkward Conversations, JC&LWJ, Worried!JC, Worried!LWJ, Frenemy-In-Law,  Hurt!WWX, Rescue Missions, Reconciliation)

Wei Wuxian has been wandering alone for six months when he suddenly stops writing. This is deeply concerning to at least a few people. Jiang Cheng is not among them.

No, really, he's not.

(Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.)

Detailed comment here

were we are good and loved by Lise (6+K, Teen)

(Post-Canon, POV LWJ, Lan Bros, Hurt!WWX, Worried!LWJ)

Wei Wuxian is missing. Lan Wangji is trying very hard not to consider worst case scenarios, and struggling to deal with one of the few surviving people he really, really, doesn't like.

A companion piece/alternate POV of some good mistakes from Lan Wangji's point-of-view.

Detailed comment here

Accidents Will Happen by mrsronweasley (46K, Explicit)

(Post-Canon, Mpreg, Established Relationship, Hurt!WWX)

Wei Wuxian downs the cup of tea. "All right. Now, I'm fine." He isn't, though. The tea is a mild kind, the sort that Lan Zhan prefers before bed, but even so it makes his taste buds revolt. It's only through sheer force of will that he doesn't vomit a second time.

Fucking hell, who cursed him, and how soon can he kill them?

or

Wei Wuxian finds himself in a whole new situation.

Detailed comment here 

home is where the heart is by Maifai (7+K, Teen, WIP 3/?)

(Post-Canon, Hurt & Comfort, Angst, POV LWJ, POV Alternating, Pining)

Wei WuXian is still traveling, and Lan Zhan is still tending to the needs of the cultivation world. They miss each other, but neither is so selfish as to ask for the other one's presence. Despite this, Wei WuXian has started visiting with Lan Zhan more over the years, at least until recently. He hasn't been to Gusu in nearly a year.

It's not until a rogue cultivator nearly kills him that he finds his way back at Cloud Recesses.

Bad Blood by WangXianPatriarch (5+K, Teen)

(Post-Canon, Guilt, Blood And Injury, Animal Death, Injured!WWX)

A group of cultivators with a strong grudge against Wei WuXian from the past teams up to track him down and attack him. To protect his dear ones and especially Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian flees The Cloud Recesses to handle it on his own.

@wangxianpatriarch 

Beside him when he wakes by kaminikaku (8+K, Teen)

(Mid-Canon, Emotional Hurt & Comfort, Injured!WWX, Collapse, Cuddling)

Lan WangJi was not beside him when Wei WuXian fell into the Burial Grounds the first time, nor the second time when Jiang Cheng led the charge against him, and the stygian tiger seal brought him down. This time, on the dark steps of Koi Tower when Jin Ling strikes Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi is there to catch him as he falls. This time he will not wake alone. 

walk the path alone by Misila (12+K, Teen)

(Mid-Canon, Canon Divergence, Heavy Angst, Injured!WWX, Family Dynamics)

In which Jiang Yanli isn’t fast enough to push Wei Wuxian away during the Nightless Day, and Jiang Cheng brings their brother back home— or tries to.

Also, consider checking out hurt!wwx and injured!wwx tags on our blog or on ao3!

#Anonymous #ask #neardeathexperience #hurt!wwx #injured!wwx #worried!lwj #scared!lwj #angst #heavyangst #angstwithahappyending #masterpost

[porcupine-girl]

Untamed Fic Rec List

Look, most of these are reasonably popular fics already, so if you’ve been in this fandom for a couple months you’ve likely read them. Which is not how I normally do rec lists, but I’m new enough to Untamed that I’m still reading through all the fics by authors I know from other fandoms plus ones that have been personally recced to me, so I haven’t made it into the deep dive of underappreciated fics that I normally like to rec.

It doesn’t help that one of these recs is 445K, so for like two weeks straight it was basically all I was reading.

BUT if, like me, you are rather new to this fandom and its fics, here are some good ones:

The Same Moon Shines Series by sami

This is the 445K behemoth, made up of 23 works, and is technically made up of three interrelated series. The first fic, which establishes the whole universe/multiverse, is 139K on its own. Basically, decades into the canon future, WWX invents time travel.

He goes back to being born, but is reborn with all his memories intact. And he fixes, like, fucking everything and it’s so, so fucking satisfying. Everything’s not perfect though - for example, he like lowkey (highkey?) traumatizes LXC by showing him his previous life via empathy and that has some consequences eventually. Featuring ace poly JC/LXC/WQ triad.

Then in a cracky subseries, appropriately called “ridiculous future bullshit”, we assume that the main six from this universe (WWX, LWJ, JC, WQ, LXC, JYL, & Lan Sizhui) all achieve immortality and find out what they’re up to in the modern day, where they’re revered in the Five Nations (this does a great job of staying in the canon world instead of ours) but of course white Western assholes do things like try and make a disney movie called Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch where they marry LWJ off to a girl.

And then in a third subseries, which so far has only one WIP fic, we go back to the canon universe, find out that JC and LWJ were stuck there watching WWX disappear in his time machine array (so WWX actually split off into another universe, he didn’t rewind his own), and so they get into the array having no idea what it will do but wanting to chase down the asshole they love. And so a third universe is born, where they are both born with their memories but WWX is not. I absolutely love seeing how different their priorities are from WWX’s in terms of what they want to change in their new life.

(Also: This is technically a MDZS fic that usually goes with novel canon over show canon if there’s a discrepancy, so if like me you haven’t read the whole novel you might need to look up some plot points now and then.)

The Vermillion Ribbon by @unforth

AU where Wei WuXian was taken in by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s parents instead of the Jiangs. LWJ (who is the POV character) is a super DUPER dick to him at first, like even moreso than in canon, but the speed with which he regrets his choices is breathtaking and extremely satisfying.

LWJ is a VERY unreliable narrator. He has absolutely no idea what is going on with himself or anyone else at any point in time. Eventually he at least becomes self-aware of this fact, and can at least go wait am I missing something? I think I’m missing several somethings but fuck if I know what. Wei WuXian not understanding this about him leads to some miscommunication, because WWX doesn’t get that LWJ needs absolutely everything spelled out to him in single-syllable words with crayon drawings and y’know, WWX isn’t going to be straightforward anytime he can pretend he’s TOTALLY FINE :D :D :D instead.

LWJ’s friendship with NHS is magical, and NHS in general gets 810% more opportunity to scheme and plot pre-time-of-NMJ’s-canonical-death than in canon and is honestly living his best life. It’s also valuable for LWJ to have a scheming friend because, aside from realizing he misjudged WWX, this is how he starts to figure out that he’s a dumbass who has no idea what is going on ever. But he can count on NHS to always be ten steps ahead, so it’s okay.

(ETA: I’m sorry, I made unforth feel like maybe LWJ was too dense, and no, he’s very much not stupid in general. Like, honestly the fact that he becomes so self-aware of the things he’s bad at, and does things like trust NHS to always understand the stuff he’s missing, makes him come off as very intelligent. It’s just in the specific realm of understanding anything that people say or do that isn’t 100% honest and straightforward that he is just entirely hopeless in a rather relatable way, and like I said, WWX’s go-to is hiding any and all pain so that is a bad combo.)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou

This diverges from canon when WWX is on his way to Jin Ling’s one month celebration, but doesn’t bring Wen Ning along. So when Jin Zixun attacks it goes very poorly for him, poorly enough that Jin Zixuan thinks he’s dead and it’s reported back at Carp Tower as such. Sending LWJ into a dissociative state. He manages to break through to reality just long enough to find out that Jin Zixuan took WWX’s body back to the burial mounds and left it with Wen Qing, and to get on his sword and go directly there. Thankfully, it turns out that WWX is not dead, but only just barely so.

So LWJ stays there, because now that he spent some amount of time (he isn’t really sure if it was like five minutes or two hours, because dissociation) thinking WWX was dead he now knows that he should never, ever be anywhere but with WWX.

Honestly, it almost feels like a spoiler to say WWX doesn’t die, but there’s no major character death warning while there IS one for graphic violence so it’s not a chose not to warn either, so that’s technically not a spoiler. But things are touch-and-go for him for a very, very long time. And the romance is a slow burn with pining galore. And you get to see LWJ teaching A-Yuan to play the guqin, so like imagine being WWX and you wake up from almost dying to see that going on in your cave.

Velle: to will, to wish by @aerlalaith

This one is actually canon-compliant, and as it’s both quite a bit shorter and more straightforward, plot-wise, than the others, my writeup will be short but that doesn’t mean I loved it any less. Basically, it’s the process of LWJ deciding to adopt A-Yuan in the aftermath of WWX’s death. It starts just after he’s been beaten for turning against the other cultivators, and at first it’s mostly his grief and both physical and emotional pain. A-Yuan starts slipping in to visit him. and LWJ isn’t sure if he’s really okay with that at first.

Of course he becomes very okay with it, but the Lan elders and Lan Qiren and all aren’t just going to be like “ok sure you can barely walk you should def adopt a four-year-old of unclear origins who may or may not have something to do with your demonic dead boyfriend and the evil people he helped, that’s cool,” so it’s not that simple.

There’s a followup fic where, years later, LWJ chooses the courtesy name Sizhui and Xichen gives him shit for it.

save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae / @fozmeadows

Continuing on my grand tour of Untamed fics by my fave writers from other fandoms, I get to enjoy having overlapped with foz on a third straight fandom which is just fabulous. I totally thought I wasn’t gonna read AUs and then this asshole comes along and writes AUs, which is not playing fair.

I especially love this because it’s modern day but much like ridiculous future bullshit it’s modern day in (more or less) a canonish world, not our world. So like, they fly on swords, but not long distances because it’s easier to take a train or drive rather than use up all that spiritual energy.

Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan miss the old ways, though, and they think the best ancient tradition to bring back is arranged marriage! Because that will go over well with today’s youth. They try to make LWJ marry Mianmian but he’s like “um I’m gay” and LQ throws a hissy fit about that so Jin Zixuan (who is LWJ’s bestie and is fucking hilarious) hatches a plot for LWJ to cause LQ to stroke out by bringing WWX to Lan Xichen’s birthday party as his fake date.

But when LWJ and WWX meet up to talk this over, LWJ is instantly fucked because WWX has a small child with him and it turns out that this small child is the orphan he adopted. He doesn’t notice he’s fucked until a few days later, though, when WWX comes over for “kissing practice” and they fuck and he calls Jin Zixuan all “I think I caught a feel, what do?” and JZX is like idk, you’re a moron, don’t ask me to clean up your moron messes. And the next day LWJ buys a car seat.

Lan Wangji heard about Jack 110% Zimmermann and said “challenge accepted,” is what I’m saying here. And now I’ve written as much about this 33k fic as I did about the 445k, so I’ll shut up before I just recount the entire plot.

#the untamed #fic recs #wangxian #if I haven't recced your fic I probably haven't read it yet #literally this is most of the fics I've managed to read so far #when I say the same moon shines took up all of my reading time for 2-3 weeks I am being entirely serious #and then vermillion ribbon is 220+k so it took a week or two too #so like i've got ao3 emails waiting in my inbox for fics by tippy and moosefeels and through_shadows_falling and a few others #I promise I will get to them!

[extraordinarilyextreme]

finally watched Guardian (2018) and i need to talk

Warning: contains MASSIVE SPOILERS, probably too much music/song analysis, my poor translations from Chinese to English, and some references to the original novel (disclaimer: my novel-reading was mostly jumping around because i have a problem where I’m not fluent enough to read the original Chinese novel and I don’t usually like English translations)

1. the freakin opening theme: We Won’t Be Falling by Chen Xueran... (also I see you Tina Guo on the cello thank you queen)

the amount of chills i get every time an episode starts,,, fantastic! marvelous! the lyrics are very VERY apt to the story of Guardian, esp this drama adaptation

(“We are the one/We will be holding on/For the promise we held for life/For the people we love are leaving” ... “And the story will keep on going”)

1.1. the promise? may i direct you to novel chapter 75? 

Shen Wei: “Sometimes I think if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on.”

they promise to keep the peace, to protect both Haixing and Dixing; and in the show, it’s a promise they keep with their lives

2. Zhu Yilong plays THREE characters and is able to differentiate them perfectly with particular microexpressions

-Ye Zun (literally, “Respect the Night”; “Lord/Master of the Night” would be a better title) sets off my fight-or-flight instincts even though i think his name tries a little too hard to be edgy; the way he sneers, the smiles that don’t reach his eyes, also that infamous tongue flick when Zhao Yunlan sees through the act... i think it’s both great and sad that Yunlan could differentiate the twins because, why, Shen Wei would never be so openly flirtatious (and wear a deep-cut shirt like that lol)... the delivery of “Xiao Yunlan” disturbed me so much—wonderful, stellar acting

-Black Cloaked Envoy: does his best to bend the rules where he can for the Dixingren because he’s just so fundamentally GOOD; he’s empathetic despite how stern and strict he seems to be, and how much he claims to enforce the clearly-cut laws... he’s an absolute babie ten thousand years ago (Yunlan, doesn’t it hurt your conscience to flirt with such a babie?)

-Shen Wei: in the novel, his name (both surname and first name) are given to him by Kun Lun’s incarnations—there’s a lot of power in naming something, in naming someone; he’s good-natured and gentle, always polite... he pushes up the glasses [that he doesn’t need] a lot, perhaps because he’s used to pushing up his mask as the Envoy

2.1. i find it very striking that Shen Wei dies without his glasses; he doesn’t die as the Envoy, he doesn’t die as the Professor; he dies as a person, as the person who loves Yunlan the most and has loved Yunlan for ten thousand years

2.2. the other notable moments we see Shen Wei without his glasses are where he apologizes to Yunlan [and Yunlan apologizes at the same time because they’re pining idiots] for not noticing the camera in his office, where he sets aside all his pride as Envoy and Professor and kneels in the rain for the man he loves (lwj kneeling after visiting the Burial Mounds, yea?), and of course after he slices up an orange [cuz food = love] only to find Yunlan asleep and drapes his jacket over the silly silly man... anyway, Yunlan is indeed the only person Shen Wei is comfortable enough to reveal everything to, all defenses and masks (literal and figurative) lowered

2.3. that last instance (ep 26) is when Shen Wei pulls out his necklace and reminisces as he gazes fondly at Yunlan; the song that plays during this is 《乱心曲》or “Chaotic Heart Song”... may I direct you to novel chapter 65 where Yunlan finds all the paintings and pictures his Xiao Wei has kept from the centuries?

“邓林之阴初见昆仑君，惊鸿一瞥，乱我心曲。” which translates to “In the shade of the woods I first saw Kunlun-jun; a glimpse of his grace wrought chaos in my heart’s song”

2.4. but also let’s not forget the [in]famous cut wrist scene of ep 23, where our dear Shen Wei, without glasses, as a person who loves Yunlan—not the aloof Envoy or the well-spoken Professor—is reduced to two words: “Worth it.” Yunlan is worth everything to him; this goes without question, without a second thought. Kun Lun (Yunlan) told him not to regret whatever decisions he’ll make, and Ye Zun scolds and laughs at his brother for giving up his life for a human/Haixingren, but of course Shen Wei doesn’t regret dying to protect Yunlan, dying to protect Haixing. (also, peep the behind-the-scenes where Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s hand for a moment as he blocks the attack from Ye Zun)

2.5. on this same train of thought, Da Qing brings up a line from ten thousand years ago where Shen Wei claimed he would never kill unless it was for the world... and, well, he kills for Yunlan doesn’t he?

3. Bai Yu plays our charismatic Chief Zhao Yunlan/Kun Lun and hoo boy does he do an excellent job; the found family vibes of the SIU are spectacular and the way he flirts with tries to recruit Professor Shen is endearing and touching

3.1. there’s another piece from the OST called 《一点真心》, translated to “A Little Sincerity” though I would use “A Bit of a Sincere Heart” because it too references the novel

Kun Lun’s confession to Xiao Wei: “我富有天下名山大川，想起来也没什么稀奇的，不过就是一堆烂石头野河水，浑身上下，大概也就只有这几分真心能上秤卖上两斤，你要？拿去。” [I’m rich with famed mountains and endless rivers under heaven, but none of it feels rare when I think about it. It’s all just a pile of broken stones and uncultivated streams. From head to toe, there is probably only this bit of my sincere heart that is worth anything weighed on a scale. You want it? Take it.]

Zhao Yunlan’s confession to Shen Wei: “我别的东���也有，只是你可能大多都看不上，只有这一点真心……你要是不接着，那就算了吧。” [I have other things, only you probably would not think much of them. There’s only this bit of my sincere heart... If you don’t want to catch it, then forget it.)

And Shen Wei’s reply to Yunlan’s confession is of course “我接住了。” [I’ve caught it.]

3.2. the novel is a happy ending because Xiao Guo’s important role actually plays a part (i literally don’t understand why the show couldn’t do that after they built up so many expectations about his good character/merit/inability to be corrupted but ANYWAY)... Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, the little Ghost King has a soul and wow isn’t that just beautiful after everything he did to become worthy/deserving of Kun Lun’s attention and love

4. the Zhang Ruonnan and Wang Yike (death-touch Dixingren) case in ep 3 is an obvious parallel to the “brotherly” relationship of WeiLan... Shen Wei’s line of “Many tragedies were destined from the start” references the show of course but also the paradoxical precognition that marks the drama version of WeiLan; in both of their “first meetings”, one of them was always already in love with the other—Yunlan, as Kun Lun, knew he would have to return to his own time at some point and thus doom this impressionable young Envoy to ten thousand years of waiting and Shen Wei (honestly in a Code Geass Lelouch kinda style) knew he would have to die to defeat his brother

4.1. the importance of “touch” in this case alludes to novel WeiLan, where of course Shen Wei watched over all of Kun Lun’s incarnations but wasn’t allowed to get close to him because hungry ghosts would inevitably devour the essence of the people around them; similarly Yike was terrified of touching Ruonnan all this time... but Ruonnan accepted her (just like how novel Kun Lun lets this intriguing little Ghost King trail after him)

4.2. speaking of Shen Wei’s grand plans and the idea of “knowing”, Yunlan reminds him that “You are not a weapon/blade, you are a person.” and wow once again, only Yunlan can pull the humanity from Shen Wei, who has carefully crafted his disguise and personality to fit what people expect of the Envoy and the Professor... but alas, Shen Wei fulfills his promise by in fact making himself a weapon; he poisons himself to become a bomb that will take down his brother

4.3. as many qualms and complaints as I have with Chinese censorship, much in the case of WangXian, i think i prefer the drama version of WeiLan to the novel version; the plot of the Guardian novel is a lot better in my opinion (with references to mythology and legends, as opposed to, what, aliens?? mutants from X-Men? quirks in My Hero Academia??) and yea the relationship of Kun Lun with Xiao Wei is built up a lot better and makes more sense than the time-travel of Yunlan masquerading as Kun Lun with Shen Wei... but there’s an unadulterated, unconditional kind of love that runs through the drama, whereas the novel had some darker (though probably more realistic) vibes of near-possessiveness and ulterior motives... Kun Lun/Yunlan in the novel can be, well, cruel, which is not necessarily out of character; it’s just seems a little wrong to me that you could threaten your partner in a relationship (if you keep things from me again, i really will turn against you + had i known xyz would happen, i really should have killed you)... plus i’m always a sucker for love without an “i love you”, a love that’s conveyed entirely through actions and gazes

5. Yunlan asks Zhou Weiwei (the mirror case) where her jacket was bought because he “wants to get one for [his] girlfriend” and lo and behold, what similarly-styled and colored coat does our Shen Wei show up in a few episodes later? (also the fact that Shen Wei dies wearing this jade-ish-blue-ish coat)

6. boyfriend jacket during the Moutain-River Awl case... boyfriend jacket!!!! Shen Wei claims he doesn’t need it and well he still wears it anyway because Yunlan’s love is unstoppable

6.1. the way Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s elbow before running down the hill

6.2. Shen Wei being so freaking fine-tuned to Yunlan’s discomfort/pain as always that he drinks wine for him (and passes out immediately—heroics/bde of yllz! wwx and the alcohol tolerance of our dear lwj)

6.2.1. when Minister Gao brings up Yunlan’s dad and the Chief’s hands tighten... and of course nothing can go by Shen Wei, so he changes the topic of the conversation; also the way he leans forward as if to shield Yunlan

6.2.2. Yunlan is similarly Aware of his boyfriend’s boundaries; cue him politely excusing themselves from the dinner with Vice-Minister Guo when Shen Wei (of all people!) fumbles with his chopsticks

6.2.3. Yunlan also blocks Shen Wei from Minister Gao’s sight (subconsciously?) after that wedding showdown... even though he’s unhappy that Shen Wei has kept the identity of the Envoy from him, he trusts the other man enough to recognize there must be a reason; thus he doesn’t want other people to pry into the possibility that Shen Wei is a Dixingren

6.3. also, also that Shen Wei lets Yunlan have his way and use him as a pillow in the car once again (he also adjusts the actual pillow beneath Yunlan’s head to make it more comfortable)

6.3.1 the other Shen-Wei-is-Yunlan’s-pillow scene is when the professor picks up the poor hurting Chief off the road and in the taxi ride home... apparently this was an improvised scene from Bai Yu who just wanted to mess with Long-ge and our great Zhu Yilong just stayed in character and ran with it

6.3.2. the other notable improvised scene is the cute “Black Cloaked gege~ please be careful~ there’s someone is waiting for you at home~” [sorry that i don’t remember the exact line] but once again our great leading actors just stay perfectly in character

6.4. after Shen Wei wakes up from a night of being drunk (lol) Yunlan has left a note for him “I’ve gone back first, stay in touch. -Zhao” and what’s that on the corner of the note? why it’s a winky face

7. when Yunlan grabs the fake Zhang Danni’s wrist to confirm his suspicions, Shen Wei narrows his eyes... (lol is our Black Cloaked gege jealous)

8. when Yunlan claims he can swallow the painkillers dry, Shen Wei clenches his jaw in his anger at this idiot of a man for not taking better care of himself... you’ll find that a lot of Shen Wei’s anger is directed toward his husband being a self-sacrificial fool

8.1. after Yunlan uses the Hallows again and his nose begins to bleed, Zhu Yilong in all his acting glory has Shen Wei furious to the point that his lips tremble (cue Shen Wei angrily shoving a handkerchief into his husband’s face) [i really want to know if they ever broke character during this scene due to their proximity lol]

8.1.1. Shen Wei all but invades Yunlan’s personal space (he really does stand there between Yunlan’s legs guys) and he’s so careful even though he’s angry as he tries to stop the nosebleed; he’s aware the force might tip Yunlan backwards, so he immediately rests his hands on Yunlan’s thighs/knees to steady him

9. Yunlan has claimed that he doesn’t do things for the sake of gaining anything in return and yet every time he’s wanted things from dear Shen Wei... “take off your mask and smile for me”, “join the SID”... the sexual tension is Unreal during these scenes lol, you can see Shen Wei swallow visibly in anticipation + babie Shen Wei of ten thousand years prior all but chokes on his words when he promises to do ANYTHING Kun Lun wants him to do (honey where is your mind GOING???)

9.1. Bai Yu does have a bruise on his knee after the scene where Yunlan asks Shen Wei for something... dunno if it’s the actor’s bruise or the character’s bruise, but if it’s the character’s bruise—how did he get it? what exactly did WeiLan do that evening lol

9.2. also peep the fact that Yunlan almost always has a lollipop in his mouth when talking to Shen Wei... oral fixation much? (also the whole sequence where he tries to explain how to eat a lollipop to babie Shen Wei, wow the amount of homoerotic tension)

9.3. babie Shen Wei’s ears and cheeks are SO RED when Yunlan snatches the mask off his face

10. Yunlan’s hairstyle changes after Shen Wei joins the SIU (joins his family), much like how a bride would change her hairstyle after marriage in China ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (random note but CQL WangXian does this too when lwj puts his hair down/styled over the front of his shoulders when wwx wakes up 16 years later)

11. the first time we see Shen Wei spit up blood, there’s an echo of “Xiao Wei” faintly and Shen Wei mutters to himself “Xiao Lan” before looking up and saying louder “Zhao Yunlan” (nicknames/pet names/names only your family or lover can call you... this trope is good)

11.1. i also think a lot about how in the novel Kun Lun muses before he dies that it’s a shame he won’t see this Little Beauty [Xiao Wei] grow up to be a Great Beauty 

12. Shen Wei’s funny little eyebrow raise when Yunlan accidentally reveals he broke into the professor’s apartment once ( “riiiiiiiiight i definitely believe you”)

12.1. though the ep 23 scene is angsty, the fact Yunlan says “It’s the middle of the night, were you hungry?” seems to imply their relationship is a lot closer than just neighbors... they’re probably used to sharing an apartment/room at this point :)

13. when Yunlan is hurt, Zhu Hong looks to him but he only has eyes for Shen Wei

13.1. after Yunlan is blinded, Zhu Hong is the one cradling him but he calls for Shen Wei first and reaches for his hand; Shen Wei of course responds immediately “it’s me”

13.1.1. both times after Yunlan gets his eyesight back, the first thing he sees is the person who loves him the most

14. Shen Wei warms up the congee in the morning with his magic after he watches over Yunlan when his stomach pain acts up (domestic use of magic? yes please)

15. the bomb defusing scene in the hospital (video game -> reality case) really is framed like a wedding proposal... also the way that Shen Wei smirks lol he’s so proud of his husband

16. after his Envoy identity is revealed, Shen Wei all but abuses his Black Cloaked Envoy voice to stop his stupid husband from doing stupid things that will hurt himself and every time Yunlan is properly sh00k by it

16.1. we really go from Chief Zhao remarking in the Mountain-River Awl case that he’s used to ordering people around, not receiving orders to married bickering with Shen Wei to then agreeing to everything Shen Wei tells him to do

17. the fact that “Shen Wei, ah, Shen Wei... You are such a good person, how could I bear to let you go?” is an actual line from the censored DRAMA astounds me, nevermind that Shen Wei just made breakfast for his man and Yunlan is basically pouting up at him from the bed

17.1. the way Yunlan’s dad warns him to stay away from Shen Wei and Yunlan responds with something like “he’s sincerely good to me, I want to be with him”... “be with him”???? [inhales deeply] yea this is definitely a “brotherly relationship”

18. Yunlan’s “WOW” after the Envoy kills the monsters in the cave of the Mountain-River Awl case is hilarious and i dont understand how such a noise is physically possible,,, it sounds like a growl?????

18.1. Zhu Yilong was asked to mimic it during an interview (which he did not do and only half-heartedly gave a “wow”) and then Bai Yu did it again

19. also i inevitably got attached to the side ship of Lao Chu and Xiao Guo... they have so much skinship for a censored “brotherly relationship” lmao

the amount of face-touching and hand-holding that they do is unreal... they’re more canon than WeiLan in the drama adaptation methinks 

20. 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time” sounds like Yunlan’s reply to Shen Wei’s《只是太在意》or “Just Cared Too Much”

20.1. the lyrics of both these songs really cements this idea that both of WeiLan believe the other to be too good... Kun Lun was a god in the novel, and Xiao Wei was just a soulless little Ghost King... and then we have the incorrigible Chief Zhao pining after the beautiful and kind Professor Shen... i just have a lot of feelings about them becoming better people for each other, that their love really does make each other stronger

21. my favorite two pieces from the OST are Shen Wei’s theme (arranged by Kun Luo) and Kun Lun’s theme (arranged by Chen Xueran)

head’s up: it’s been like four years since i last even glanced at music theory so a lot of this might just make no sense to an actual professional

-Shen Wei: written in 4/4 time, Ab Major, melody is primarily carried by piano + strings; the piano almost sticks exclusively to triplets whereas the strings are in steady whole, quarter, and eighth notes—which creates in interesting impressionistic effect, kind of like hazy smoke or the ripples across the surface of a lake; every single measure uses decrescendo, so the first triplet is always the loudest and the three that follow get progressively softer (mimicking an echo)... the piece ends on the seventh note of the scale, which is usually a pretty awkward place to end and yet it doesn’t feel wrong it all; the piece uses a ritardando in the last three measures, and we simply drift off with that last G... i think it’s a beautifully written piece that perfectly portrays such a complex character as Shen Wei, someone who loved with everything he had, and was just so overwhelmingly good... and then he simply disappears as if the dream has ended. it makes me think of how he guarded over Kun Lun/Zhao Yunlan for thousands of years in the novel, never ever ever daring to meet him... and yet the other man always felt like he was waiting for someone

-Kun Lun: written in 3/4 time, a minor, there’s no real complex shift in the melody although there’s brief modulation into E major (dominant/fifth note); it’s a fairly somber piece, especially when the strings join in... it’s a steady waltz, and it finishes with the scale (second to last major is g, last major is a), like a circle coming back around [like their love story perhaps?]... there’s a finality to it, a completeness, a wholeness, which makes sense in the drama-verse because the moment Yunlan takes up the name of Kun Lun is when his love story with Shen Wei all fits together. the piece feels a little lonely in its minor key and all, a little sad, indeed as if you were standing at the top of a mountain surrounded by clouds and mist... the constant meter also reminds me of like the steady drip of water, the perpetual and inevitable passage of the days and time

-i don’t really understand how because the keys of the two pieces don’t fit together easily, but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to play the pieces back to back; the melodies of both seem to call upon each other despite the differences in key and time signature, so it actually feels right. a circle without a beginning or an ending, wouldn’t you want your love to be so infinite?

-when yunlan finds shen wei in their bubble outside of time, when shen wei is about to leave him, shen wei is wearing the outfit of their first meeting. and the lyrics go “Across time, I am in the same place”... surely, they will find each other again.

#guardian #cdrama ramblings #zhenhun #镇魂 guardian

[llycaons]

more on 23 that I forgot and I don’t want to bog down in the 24 lb:

how goddamn gaudy the scorching sun palace is. the walls are so bright they look like the red version of a green screen. wen ruohan was tacky as hell for this. not that anyone else is humble in the seat of their power, but the lans had taste, refinement. the jiangs had natural beauty. the nies had strength and simplicity. who else. oh right, the jins. actually koi tower was also tastelessly ornate. they had ponds, I guess. all that gold and white, though

another thing - that lovely little sequence in which lwj starts questioning his strict black and white worldview and his brother gently nudges him through it. I don’t think lxc wanted or expected lwj to outright rebel against his clan, but I think he wanted lwj to broaden his mind a little and accept shades of gray in reality/in people, not just relying on all-or-nothing thinking to make judgements. I think it’s such an interesting choice to make the clan leader of the lans himself so lax about the rules

lwj’s life up until the sunshot campaign has been so far away from gritty reality, his social life has been so isolated, and he’s been so sheltered/privileged that his knowledge of the world and of other people is almost...theoretical? of course, having his home burnt down and his clan attacked broke through a lot of that, but his worldview was still fairly black and white during the war, even going against lqr’s orders to do what he knew was right. and it’s not like “wen soldiers are Bad everyone else is an ally and therefore Good” had failed him up until he reunited with wwx and faced the aftermath of the war

anyway since this is lxc, he knows how important wwx is to lwj, and he wants to help mend that relationship. lwj going “I thought he was good but he’s bad actually???” and lxc going “well, that’s people sometimes” is his way of helping lwj along

#I was going to edit my other post but it's so long already #I guess we're doing mutiple posts as I think of them #cql rewatch

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 23 - watching notes

I can't believe it took me so long to watch the next episode. Somehow with all this staying at home, I still don't have time

I'm still scared and horny for wwx

"I've been dead once. We, of course came from hell"

This is news to me!

Did he die on burial mounts??? Or is it a figurative death?

Both kinds fit, though. He seems really distant right now. Like he really isn't completely present among the living

The ... hell?

He says "stygian tiger amulet" like I'm supposed to know what he's talking about but I have no idea!

Everyone is so completely out of their depth that they are literally just spectators at this point

Who just killed ...?

Okay, I stand corrected. Everyone is too shocked to move, except for lwj, who is not going to let anything stop him from catching his boyfriend :D

Wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf???

What's Meng Yao's deal???

I love Lan Xichen with all my heart, but when he looked into the distance and said "The sun is finally setting down" all I could think was "Thanks Legolas!" Because that was really very legolas of him

Nie Mingjue ... don't die 😥

Ooh, so Meng Yao was a spy!

This whole story of how Meng Yao saved Lan Xichen's life and then wrote letters to him, as a spy, in secrecy is a shipper's dream!

I just noticed something about the netflix subtitles. I'm pretty sure they just let Jiang Yanli call wwx "Wei Wuxian, when she said A-Xian and wwx call her "Yanli" when I'm pretty sure I heard "shijie"

Three days. I'm glad they're making it very clear just how much if a toll his new way of cultivating is taking on his body

Have we seen the Jin clan leader before at all? I don't think so

It breaks and warms my heart at the same moment how afraid wwx is of Shijie's judgement. Honestly, he seemed the most like himself around her and this is one more instant where, for a brief moment, he looks like a little boy again.

"Why do you keep mentioning second young master Lan all the time?" Because she KNOWS! :D

He came every day and played his guqin!

And there he is! 😭😭😭

His expression when he sees that wwx is awake. I'm melting!

That whole scene if lwj playing for wwx ... 💖💖💖

At least we isn't trying to actively push lwj away anymore

I just remembered that we did meet the Jin clan leader before. All the way back in cloud recess

So much is happening right now, it's hard to follow, so I'm just going to try and make sense of it by writing it down: the Jin clan leader arrived late and now wants to tell everyone what to do: mainly , round up an kill the remaining wen clan, even those that are defenseless or didn't do anything. Also, he wants to question anyone who suspicious, which I take means wwx at this point. Ah yes, and also, he will take in Meng Yao and legitimize him as his son.

Now, that's a transformation! 😳

I gotta ask: what's up with the hat?

And he even gets reintroduced. Oh man! Someone else I have to remember two names for! 😭

Jin Guangyao ...

How much of his rise to that position was planned? How much could he plan, really?

But him and Lan Xicheng still give me all the feels! That callback to their first meeting, when Lan Xicheng wouldn't let him bow to him because he considers them equals! 😭

Holy shit! that's a lot of blood!!!!

I have a whole lot of feelings about this conversation between wwx and lwj. From how beautifully it was shot (but let'sface it, any shot of these two is drop-dead gorgeous!), to the brilliant progression of the score that got progressively sadder to ... basically everything they said. Lwj's primary concern seems to be to protect wwx from the repercussions of demonic cultivation, while wwx does not seem to spare much thought to his own wellbeing at all. He is obviously not fine and he mostly ignores it.

It is remarkable, imo, that his primary concern seems to be the moral dilemma he finds himself in. Just the fact that he is able to tackle it at all is astonishing! Not only does he not automatically transfer his thirst for revenge against Wen Ruhoan and his son to the rest of the Wen clan, he seems to be the most concerned with sparing the innocent who just happened to be born in the wrong clan.

He's such a fascinating character!

I had to Google "absterge", btw. I'm not a native English speaker, but it's rare these days that I haven't even heard a word before. So apparently it's similar to "cleanse".

I will definitely have to rewatch that tortoise episode btw. I think I remember that something happened inside that shell, but I do not know when in earth wwx should have had time to start forging the tiger amulet there

The angst!!! 😭😭😭

Waitwaiwaitwait! Isn't this also the cliff wwx will eventually fall from??? 😳

All the angst!!!

Hey, Jin soldiers? You're barely better than the people you fought right now 😒

He was about to shoot a mother running with her child in her arms ....

I have a feeling that the pledge that Nie Mingjue, Jan Xichen and Jin Guangyao make is another example of a scene where I don't understand the full context because I'm so unfamiliar with the culture

Jiang Cheng being flanked by Jiang Yanli and wei Wuxian in his first official appearance as sect leader gives me so many feelings 🥺

Every interaction between nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao is soooooo uncomfortable at this point

Why does this banquet give me red wedding vibes ... something terrible is about to happen, I can feel it

With all of these etiquette rules being on display, I'm wondering, how much they lend from various chinese traditions and how much is just made up to suit this particular fantasy world. I'm ashamed to say I honestly don't know :/

Ohhh, the marriage is back on. Great... not

Granted, Jin Zixuan isn't a complete idiot anymore

Oh God, Wei Wuxian. What are you going to do? 🙈

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony 💖

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #the untamed episode 23 #wei wuxian #wwx #lan wangji #lwj #lan xichen #Jiang Cheng #jiang wanyin #jiang yanli #jin guangyao #meng yao

[vrishchikawrites]

Its a prompt! (And dont worry about it, absolutely love reading your writing XD) Okay so dimension travel, so we all agree in a world where WWX was raised in another sect (like Lan/Nie) That he would be absolutely adored by them and everyone, healthy relationships( even Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian wouldn't be on a bad term much because no WWX JYL interaction) so! Canon!WWX from post ssc timeline gets transmigrated/summoned to one of these worlds where hes raised by either Lan or Nie so 1/2

They're a bit confused seeing WWX in black clothes, and seeing his gaunt/tired appearance and him being so on guard around them (since he's usually open and loved) that they ask him why is it so? Does he not know Lan Xichen/Nie Mingjue back from whicher place he came from, and Wei Wuxian goes 'Ive met them/we're not close' they ask 'sorry if its a bit personal but who were you raised by?' and WWX replies the Jiangs and cue everyone horrified cuz Jiangs areopen in their heavy dislike of WWX2/2

'It's my fault.' Nie Huaisang thinks as he frantically collects all the materials needed, 'It is my fault, I need to fix this.'

His er-ge was gone. His brother, Da-ge's pride and joy, the shining star of the Nie Clan.

Gone. Just like that.

One minute they're on an easy nighthunt and the next, Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to take an attack straight to his chest.

He knows his brother is gone. His body may be alive, but just barely. He's drowning in his own blood and there's nothing Nie Huaisang can do. There's no cognition in his eyes, that bright silver gaze is dull and blank.

He has to do something.

The ritual may not work. It came with so many warnings that Nie Huaisang lost the patience to read them all the way through. If something goes wrong, it goes wrong.

"Huaisang! What are you doing?!" Da-ge's voice is loud but Nie Huaisang doesn't pay any attention to it. The room is sealed and it would take da-ge some time to break through it.

"Nie Huaisang!"

Good, Lan Xichen is here. He'll take care of da-ge if something goes wrong.

"Huaisang!" There's a loud crash but he doesn't pay any attention to it, "Stop! Don't do something stupid."

"I need to save him. It is my fault, I need to save him!"

"Huaisang!"

There's a bright red flash and it drowns out everything.

---

Miraculously, he survives.

His fledgling Golden Core has shattered and melted into nothing, but he has survived.

And he has done it.

"Does your stupidity known no bounds?" Da-ge demands as Lan Wangji kneels by er-ge's bed and feeds him potent spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian is alive. His cognition is intact and his Golden Core is stable but he's soaked in Resentful Energy.

"You destroyed your Golden Core, Huaisang! There's no recovering from it!"

"Wouldn't you do the same?" He demands, turning around to look at his oldest brother. He ignores Lan Xichen's alarmed voice and focuses on Nie Mingjue, "Is his life worth less than my Golden Core?"

Da-ge locks his jaw but doesn't reply. Of course, Wei Wuxian's life is worth more than a Golden Core.

"Huaisang," Lan Xichen sighs, "a-Xian wouldn't have wanted this."

"Look at Wangji-xiong and tell me that again." He says bluntly. He is tired and drained but no one can convince him that reviving er-ge wasn't the right choice.

Xichen-ge doesn't reply because no one can look at the devastated expression on Lan Wangji's face and say it wasn't worth it.

Huaisang doesn't feel the absence of the core as keenly as someone else might. He had only developed it during the Sunshot Campaign, after all.

He isn't like er-ge or Wangji-xiong, with their powerful cores and potent spiritual energy. The loss would've been devastating to them but is only an afterthought to him.

---

They realize something is off when Wei Wuxian opens his eyes and looks at them with distant wariness instead of familiar affection. He looks around and is instantly on guard, "Where... Why am I here?"

He looks directly at Wangji-xiong, "Lan Zhan? What are you... Have you brought me here?" He demanded, his expression shifting to something hostile, "Are we in Gusu?"

"Wei-gongzi," Xichen-ge calls for his attention, "I know you're very confused but please don't be alarmed. We're in your home at the Unclean Realm, not in Gusu."

Er-ge narrows his eyes and Huaisang recognizes that expression, even though it has never been directed towards them. A look of cool calculation as er-ge tries to decipher their motives. "My home?" He asks.

Wangji-xiong knows er-ge almost as well as they do. He reaches forward, "Wei Ying, let us explain, please."

It appears that this Wei Wuxian is just as vulnerable to Wangji-xiong as his brother had been because he softens immediately. His body is still tense but he seems to be willing to listen.

"You died in this world, saving Huaisang's life." Da-ge begins gruffly. Huaisang winces at the bluntness but er-ge seems to appreciate it, his sharp gaze focusing on their elder brother, "Yes, this world," Da-ge confirms, "Our didi decided he wouldn't tolerate it and decided to use one of our forbidden rituals to revive you. He didn't read things clearly. The ritual dragged your soul from another world and placed you in his body."

Er-ge's expression is skeptical, "Our didi..."

Wangji-xiong sucks in a sharp breath, "Wei Ying," His brother's gaze moves to his 'best friend', "You are Wei Wuxian, 23 years old, the Head Disciple of QingheNie Sect, the adopted younger brother of Nie Mingjue and older brother to Nie Huaisang. You were adopted by the former Nie-zongzhu when you were six years old."

Er-ge stares at Wangji-xiong in stunned disbelief but there's no denial in his expression.

No wonder, Wangji-xiong never lies. That must be true in his world as well.

"a-Xian," Er-ge winces and looks at Xichen-ge, "You need to rest and recover. Your Golden Core is stab-"

Er-ge gasps and immediately sits up, placing his hand on his chest. He closes his eyes and almost violently summons his spiritual energy.

"Wei Ying!" Wangji-xiong calls out in alarm but his brother doesn't pay any attention, his focus entirely inward.

"I have my Golden Core back..." Er-ge breathes, astonished but his skin goes white and he loses consciousness.

They exchange stunned glances before scrambling forward to check on him.

---

No one can deny Wei Wuxian has changed. It takes a month for his body to recover but his heart is still unsteady. He puts on every appearance of being alright, but Huaisang has grown up with this man. He knows something is off.

It is only when er-ge decides he needs to start training again that things start to become clear. Er-ge has trained all of his life to fight with a Dao. His movements are powerful and aggressive, designed to overwhelm the enemy.

Er-ge's mind, however, is accustomed to the traditional Jian. He seems to expect his movements to be lighter, faster. More agile and less powerful.

The dissonance makes him clumsy and he loses his first fight against Lan Wangji in a long time.

"Wei Ying?" Wangji-xiong frowns, "Your movements."

Da-ge has his concerned scowl on and he grabs Baxia, stepping into the training field, "With me, Wuxian."

This fight is faster and more brutal. Huaisang almost wants to protest but he can see er-ge adjust and adapt quickly.

His eyes gain a razor-sharp focus and his battle instincts come to the fore. "Good," Xichen-ge observes, "He's accepting his body."

Indeed, he is. Against da-ge's overwhelming force, there's nothing er-ge can do but react instinctively. They engage in several bouts and keep at it for over a shichen.

By the end of it, er-ge is exhausted but faintly triumphant.

"Lan Zhan, again!"

"Wei Ying, you need rest." Wangji-xiong says with a shake of his head, "Don't strain yourself."

"Why were you fighting like you wanted to wield a Jian, didi?" Da-ge asks sternly, "You were hesitant and weak in some strikes."

Er-ge grimaces and Xichen-ge steps forward. It has been over a month and though er-ge has seen how much they all care for him, he remains wary.

"a-Xian," Xichen-ge begins gently, "You weren't a part of the Nie Clan in the past, were you?"

Da-ge's scowl deepens at the thought of er-ge belonging to anyone else but them. They had suspected something like this, of course. But they had hoped that er-ge would've still been a part of the Nie Sect if not the Clan.

Er-ge remains wary but sighs, "No."

"Not the Lans," Xichen-ge observes astutely, "Not the Jins either. Were you a rogue cultivator? Or from a smaller sect?"

Er-ge studies him before shaking his head, "I was the Head Disciple of the Jiangs."

"What?" Wangji-xiong asks, his voice uncharacteristically sharp, "Jiangs?"

Da-ge looks furious and Xichen-ge seems pained. No wonder, given how... problematic the Jiang situation is. That family is entirely unsuitable for someone as loving and giving as his er-ge!

Jiang Wanyin is a complex mix of pride and insecurity. He lags behind all sect heirs, though Huaisang is fairly certain their batch of cultivators is particularly skilled. Er-ge and Wangji-xiong are exceptional in every way and Jin Zixuan is barely a few steps behind.

In the face of such competition, skilled but ordinary cultivators can't help but be overshadowed.

Jiang Fengmian, according to da-ge, is a meek little imitation of his former self. The man that pursued er-ge's mother had been strong and wise. He had the skill, political acumen, and grace to be an admirable Sect Leader.

His marriage to Yu Ziyuan ruined him.

And Yu Ziyuan is a nightmare. The one time she met Wei Wuxian, she had left such an impression that da-ge had cut all ties with the Jiang Sect until its Madam apologized to the Nie Sect Head Disciple.

That hadn't gone down well and the relationship between them is still sour.

"Do you want to return to them?" He blurts out, unable to help himself. If Jiangs are this Wei Wuxian's family then maybe-

"No."

They still because that's a very firm no. It is a complete and utter rejection of the very thought of it.

"No."

---

Getting the whole story out of er-ge is like pulling teeth but between Wangji-xiong's pleas, Xichen-ge's gentle questions, da-ge impassioned demands, and his own begging, they manage.

This Wei Wuxian doesn't love them yet but he sees their love for him clearly. That softens his heart and they get to hear every painful, excruciating aspect of his past life.

Wangji-xiong looks furious, da-ge paces, Xichen-ge is pale, but all of that doesn't matter.

He recognizes the look on er-ge's face. He has never seen it on him before, but he recognizes it.

Er-ge expects them to reject him. To abandon him for his 'sins'.

"Well, I don't have a Golden Core. Can you teach me Demonic Cultivation?"

"Huaisang!" Is yelled from almost every direction but he only has eyes for his older brother.

He sees those tired silver eyes study him for a moment before they soften completely, turning into the color of liquid moonlight. "You brat," Er-ge murmurs affectionately, "The thought of you wielding that power is nothing short of terrifying."

"But er-ge! Can you leave me defenseless, just like that? Don't you feel sorry for me-"

"Huaisang!" Da-ge snaps, "Stop trying to manipulate your brother!"

"Really, a-Sang, it isn't right for you to-"

Er-ge laughs. It's familiar, loud, and openly joyous. Silver eyes sparkle as he looks at them, "Don't worry, da-ge, he's a hundred years too early to manipulate me."

Wangji-xiong huffs, "Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan," Er-ge teases, "How is that you manage to reprimand me by only saying my name? Shall I try it too? Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!"

"And they're flirting again." He murmurs under his breath, drawing an amused look from Xichen-ge.

"Perhaps we really need to start betrothal negotiations," Xichen-ge says and da-ge scoffs.

"Not going to happen unless you're willing to part with your brother. Mine is my heir. He's not marrying into the Lans."

"Da-ge, be reasonable-"

Huaisang tunes them out and waves his fan in front of his face, his mind whirling.

He doesn't care about er-ge's marriage negotiations. He has bigger fish to fry.

Really, those Jins and Jiangs are getting too bold.

#short prompts #nie!wwx #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #lan wangji #lan xichen #nie mingjue #anti jiang cheng #anti jiang sect

[baoshan-sanren]

Chapter 28

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Lan QiRen’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week oh god it’s only gonna get worse

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27

There is a certain type of charm to YiLing that XiChen has never noticed before.

Yes, it is overwhelmingly chaotic, and yes, one can easily become lost in its winding alleys and dead end streets. Still, XiChen thinks that most of the clamor and commotion is solely due to the festival, and that the town itself must be perfectly pleasant when not overflowing with visitors from every corner of the Empire.

Although they lose sight of the Emperor and WangJi within the first hour, Nie MingJue does not appear to be worried. XiChen knows he has placed Sect members he trusts in every street in YiLing, all of them on alert for any sign of danger. Nie MingJue trusts his disciples, and XiChen trusts Nie MingJue, but he thinks he will spend the evening worrying, regardless of precautions taken.

He is wrong. Navigating the streets of YiLing with Nie MingJue is a wholly unique experience.

The man is in disguise, the same as the Emperor, but unlike the Emperor, Nie MingJue cannot conceal those attributes which have so often made him a subject of wild gossip. Even dressed in simple gray and green robes, his saber concealed in a plain leather scabbard, the General of the Emperor’s army is clearly no ordinary cultivator.

His sheer presence is conspicuous. Although the streets are crowded, no one dares stumble across his path. Those that come too close, scurry away when they meet his gaze. More than one person who would have grimaced at the sight of a Lan Sect member thinks better of it, a single glance from Nie MingJue enough to change their mind. Ordinarily, when XiChen is alone in any market, in any town, he must arm himself for the inevitable. He has learned, over the years, that there is a skill to existing in public places; how to avoid confrontations, how to remain polite in the face of deliberate insolence, and how to keep smiling even when the gesture feels painful on his face.

Nie MingJue’s commanding presence eliminates the need for any of those skills, and XiChen finds the lack of trepidation exhilarating. Yes, YiLing appears to be a charming town, but he has to wonder how much of that charm is solely due to his present company.

Towards XiChen, Nie MingJue is all attentive ease and courtesy. XiChen only has to express a fleeting interest in something for Nie MingJue to consider it a command. The man is capable of reciting the entire history of YiLing, all the way back to its humble beginnings. He is familiar with every street and every shortcut, educated in each type of architecture, informed about the local laws and customs, and even capable of adding small anecdotes for XiChen’s amusement, when the subject matter threatens to drift into tedium. In short, Nie MingJue is proving himself to be an excellent guide and companion, and XiChen is finding himself less and less capable of restraint.

He should not have to conceal the sheer amount of enjoyment he derives from the man’s company, but he is very well aware that this enjoyment is bound to be short-lived. Nie MingJue is the General of the Emperor’s army. He is a leader of a large and powerful Sect. The Emperor’s favor alone would have made him unreachable to someone like XiChen, but there are a thousand other factors, equally as substantial, which make any connection between them an impossibility. XiChen is going to be a Sect Leader as well, a responsibility he cannot, and will not relinquish. He cannot form an attachment to a man who is fated to be a little more than a stranger in the future, not without sacrificing his eventual well-being for a brief few moments of happiness in the present.

Yet, no matter how determined XiChen is to feel only fond friendship, he finds himself failing at every turn. Each time Nie MngJue offers his hand, XiChen takes it without thinking. Each time the man steers him through the crowd, or out of the way of a reckless carriage, XiChen shudders at the warm palm pressing against the small of his back. His face heats when Nie MingJue looks pleased, and his own answering smile cannot be reined in, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how he scolds himself for being overly familiar.  

It is an odd combination, this blissful elation and the ever-growing anguish. XiChen had never thought himself capable of such joy under a cloud of eventual heartache. Two more days, and the gifting ceremony will be upon them. Once this last obligation has been met, uncle will insist on returning to Cloud Recesses immediately, regardless of circumstance. Even if another Imperial summons were to arrive in the following months, uncle will insist on answering the invitation unaccompanied. It is entirely possible that a year or more will pass before XiChen finds himself in Nie MingJue’s company again.

“XiChen?”

They had paused at an old canal bridge, hopelessly clogged, two palanquins facing each other and neither willing to give way. On each side of the bridge, a row of weeping willows form a canopy over the water, their delicate leaves filtering the fading sunlight. The shadows they create are dancing across every available surface, the effect dizzying and dreamlike, giving the impression that nothing in the world is still or stable, but forever moving, changing, and fluctuating with the winds.

Instead of practicing restraint, XiChen had let his heartache overwhelm the happiness.  

Nie MingJue’s fingers brush his elbow, a light touch that would have gone unnoticed, had it been carried out by anyone else.

“Are you tired? Should we find a place to rest for a while?”

XiChen is not tired, but the noise and bustle of YiLing is suddenly too much to bear. In two days he must head back to Cloud Recesses. Five days have already passed. Those five days feel as long as five lifetimes, each one etching a million moments into XiChen’s memories, moments he will both cherish and detest. The two days feel as short as heartbeats, inevitable and fleeting, and never to be repeated.    

He wants to be the one to reach for Nie MingJue’s hand before the man offers. He wants to be the one to brush his fingers against Nie MingJue’s elbow.

He does not.

Instead, he smiles, a gesture as comfortable as an old set of robes, worn often, and threadbare with use.

“I am perfectly well. These weeping willows are lovely. Do you know how old they are?”

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #nielan #ficlet #m #wwx emperor au #take this small offering #because it's all i'm capable of right now #i'm supposed to off on the weekend #but we have a dph survey in progress #because the universe is not being kind to me at the moment #god i can't wait to go back to staying up all night #like a normal insomniac #ily guys #thank you for all the nice messages and tags and comments

[baoshan-sanren]

Bonus - Songxiao

part of the wwx Emperor AU set post Chapter 35 (morning of Day 6) - technically not a chapter since this fic is unlikely to have any other explicit elements, and my current plan is to keep the rating to teen once posted to AO3

that said, this is smut (if my clumsy effort can be called smut)

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35 | Chapter 36 | Chapter 37

It is discomforting, to say the least, waking in his old bedchamber.

Xiao XingChen’s memory of the years spent in the Immortal Mountain lacks all those particulars which he now finds essential. He can recall the color of the drapes, the shine of sunlight glinting off the gold trim, the red and gold pattern of the rugs. But he does not know the distance from the bed to the window, or from the window to the washbasin. He does not know where exactly the tables and the chests are placed, or how tall they are, or when he may stumble into one by mistake.

It is not new to him, being blind in an unfamiliar place. But being blind in a familiar one, a place that still provides the same echoes of footsteps on the marble floors, the same scents, the same texture of silk sheets, it is discomforting in a way he cannot describe. His inability to see is never so restrictive than in the Immortal Mountain City, a home he had only ever known by sight.

It is no trifling, frivolous life, the one he leads side by side with Song Lan. More often than not, it is exhausting, fraught with danger and uncertainty, always lacking those comforts which he had grown accustomed to in his childhood. But at this moment, he would trade all the silks in the Iron Palm Palace for a night under the stars, wrapped in Song Lan’s cloak.

Wei Ying is right. Xiao XingChen would have never returned to the Immortal Mountain just for the Emperor’s birthday. Had the trail they were following simply passed through YiLing and continued on, Xiao XingChen and Song Lan would have done the same, neither one mentioning the mountain rearing in the distance.

The price he had paid to protect the throne was given willingly, and out there in the world, with Song Lan by his side, he often forgets that life had once been different. He does not miss the blue of the mountain creek, when he can smell its earthy scent and hear the murmur of its ripples. He does not miss the green of the grass, when he can feel each blade under the palm of his hand. Out there, he is whole, even with parts of him missing.

Here, in the Immortal Mountain, he can never be whole again.

He hears the silky slide of Song Lan’s hair on the pillow before he feels him move. Fingers brush against his cheek, lightly, a soft tickle that always makes him smile. It is hard to smile this morning. It is always hard to smile when his childhood is clogged in his throat, in his nose, when he can feel the texture of it underneath his spine.

Song Lan knows this without having to be told. He knows the guilt XingChen carries for having abandoned his nephew to a life that he, himself, despises. Song Lan knows that renaming the Emperor’s palace does not erase the blood that had smeared its stone arches or marble floors. He knows that the voices echoing in the banquet hall will always be screams to XingChen’s ears.

There are very few people left who remember YanLing DaoRen; none who had seen his madness first hand and still live to tell the tale. There is only XingChen. And the scars those years had left on his soul are still bleeding and raw, despite having decades to heal.

He can hear Song Lan shift, feels a hot breath caress his neck before lips press to the sensitive spot under his jaw. He shudders, exhaling deeply. Even after all the years they have been together, Song Lan’s mouth on his skin never fails to thrill him, each touch as exquisite as the very first one had been. A hand trails over his hip, every callus as familiar as his own.

He smiles now. It is impossible not to smile. Song Lan’s nose is brushing his jaw, his cheek, feather-light touch of eyelashes tickling his temple.  

“I can hear you thinking,” Song Lan whispers in his hair, the hand curving over XingChen’s inner thigh, strong and possessive, the warmth of the grip spreading though XingChen’s skin, coiling in the pit of his stomach.

His breath stutters, the sound loud and new in-between the familiar curtains, reverberating against the familiar walls. They have always shared a bedchamber, those rare times XingChen would allow them to stay in the Immortal Mountain long enough to spend the night. But rarely ever had they done anything other than sleep. It feels awkward here; the shadow of the First Prince he had once been always there, hovering over his shoulder, pressing against his temples, demanding to be acknowledged.

Song Lan’s lips trail over his ear, tongue tracing the curve, teeth scraping against the delicate shell. His hand, well-versed in the layers of XingChen’s sleep robes, does not fumble when searching for flesh. Throat seized with tremors, XingChen wants to speak, but neither his mind nor his mouth has settled on the words he wants to say. A part of him does not want to give in to pleasure here. This palace, these walls, they will never be free of malice. There is an illogical fear that the darkness steeped into its very foundations will somehow seep into the joy he shares with Song Lan, taint it, twist it to its own ends.

Another part of him is already sliding his thighs open, muscles quivering with anticipation, aching to replace the unpleasant memories with something sweet and pure.

When a hand wraps around him firmly, his hips shamelessly arch into the grip. He turns his head to drown a series of whimpers against Song Lan’s mouth. There is always a lazy, languorous quality to Song Lan’s kisses, no matter how large their need, how frantic their bodies. Song Lan kisses as if he has centuries at his disposal, an eternity of pleasure to offer. XingChen has learned to yield to his tongue, to the slow, intoxicating rhythm, regardless of his desperation.

This time, Song Lan pulls away slightly, his breath fever-hot against XingChen’s lips.

“Is this good?” he asks softly, as if XingChen’s need is not obvious, hot and throbbing in his hand, already grown tight and slick to the point of pain.

The part of XingChen that hesitates to give the walls around them any sign of their bliss, to keep their joy forever separate from this place saturated with blood and pain, has shrank small and insignificant, a mere whisper in the back of his mind.

But Song Lan can hear it still. There are no secrets XingChen can keep from the other half of his soul. No grief that Song Lan has not drank from his skin, no tears he has not tasted.

“Yes,” he stutters, hand wrapping around a tense shoulder, fingers digging into the muscle, “It is-- perfect. Do not stop.”

Song Lan smiles against his skin, and pushes the covers aside. The air in the bedchamber is cool, biting, a sharp contrast to XingChen’s overheated skin. His sleep robes are disheveled, gaping open, starkly revealing the most vulnerable parts of him. XingChen cannot see himself, and he has never been ashamed of his own body, aroused and pliant under Song Lan’s hands. But here and now, he feels fragile and exposed, the way he never does when they make love under the stars.  

He cannot see himself, but he hears Song Lan’s breath falter at the sight.

“XingChen,” he says, voice hushed and heavy, fingers lightly catching on the edge of the robe, pulling it open further.

Cold air washes over XingChen’s shoulder, his chest and stomach, a series of goosebumps traveling across his skin. It is always overwhelming, the tinge of awe in Song Lan’s voice, the reverence of his touch. XingChen had spent his childhood being wrapped in the most expensive silks, handled with gentle touches, being spoken to with the utmost respect. But he has never felt so throughly worshiped than he does under Song Lan’s hands, under his devoted gaze.

Song Lan’s tongue is searing on his chest, the teeth catching on delicate flesh, gentle but ruthless in their pursuit. XingChen’s body jerks with every scrape, the sensation unbearable, always too much and never enough. Each time, his fingers will tangle painfully in the silky texture of Song Lan’s hair, both to push him away, and to press him harder to his chest. Each time, he can do neither, equally helpless under the insistent graze of the teeth, the lazy soothing of the tongue. It is exquisite torture, this, and XingChen never knows how long he will have to bear it.

A single word would be enough to stop it, yet XingChen has never spoken it out loud. He has never been able to see any marks that Song Lan leaves on his skin. He had given up his sight long before Song Lan would overcome his stubborn veneration, before he would admit his love for the man he had sworn to serve and protect. But he cherishes each mark he can feel, even when they ache.

The bedchamber is no longer silent now, XingChen desperately gasping for breath, the restless flutter of need pulsing in his ears and throat, underneath his breastbone, in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes, this is all it takes; Song Lan’s mouth on his chest, fingers firmly wrapped around his length, the rhythm steady and relentless. XingChen has rarely asked for more; under Song Lan’s mouth and hands he has always felt loved, adored, desperately needed. That alone has always been enough.

Still, when Song Lan’s mouth slides down his stomach, his muscles tense in anticipation. He smooths the layers of hair he has tangled, his fingers shaky and weak.

“It will not take much,” he says ruefully, his voice hoarse.

Song Lan huffs a laugh against his hip bone, the vibration soft and delighted.

The first swipe of his tongue is almost too much. XingChen hears himself cry out, a sound too loud and frenzied for the somber chambers of the First Prince. But he is no longer aware of the space around  him, or the walls that had so tormented him in the past. Another swipe follows the first, then another, and another, each excruciatingly hot, each providing lightest possible pressure, both cruelly unsatisfying and utterly overwhelming. The tongue dips lower, slick and insistent, and XingChen frantically shifts his trembling thighs, far beyond hesitation or shame. He does not know what Song Lan wants, but all of XingCheng is there for the taking. It always strikes him as the verge of madness, this shameless state where he is no longer himself. Or perhaps, it is the only place where he may be the purest version of himself, with no fears, and no burdens; a selfish, unblemished state, where he only wants to be loved.

The voice that comes from that place is raw, all the veneer stripped away to reveal the need beneath, “Please-- I want-- please.”

Song Lan does not ask what he wants; XingChen is hardly capable of speech. His hands are clenched in the silk sheets so tightly that his fingers are cramping. Each one of his muscles is taut to the point of pain. He is there, at the very edge, but the edge is hairsbreadth one moment, and miles wide the next. This can last for hours too sometimes, an endless lingering at the verge of an abyss, the pleasure drawn out past the point of endurance, until XingChen is sobbing and writhing, begging for release.

This time, Song Lan takes him all at once, mouth slick and hot. He is no longer teasing, but firm and determined. XingChen jerks his hips twice, feeling the narrow space of Song Lan’s throat trying to accommodate him, the tight pressure of his lips at the base, and shakes apart without warning.

It always feels like falling. A few moments of perfect weightlessness, perfect emptiness, pleasure and joy so tightly entwined that they seem one bright whole, blinding and blissful. Long before he can think, long before his shudders subside, Song Lan pulls him close into the safety of his arms. There is a place XingChen intimately knows, a soft dip of muscle between Song Lan’s shoulder and collar bone, where his head nestles perfectly each time.

Once, long ago, home had been a mountain, a city, a palace. Now, home is a single stretch of warm skin under his cheek, a hand on his shoulder blade, soft brush of lips against his forehead.

“Good?” Song Lan asks, and XingChen smiles, his hand sliding underneath Song Lan’s robes.

“Not quite yet,” he says archly, and Song Lan huffs a laugh into his hair.

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #songxiao #ficlet #m #wwx emperor au #i can't believe i have to use the tag #lemon #in the year of our lord 2020 #but there we are #nish writes smut badly #as an apology for not having done any other writing #imma toss this at you guys and run away #ily chickens