#y'all know how i feel about mike but with what has been shown to us explicitly it just makes no fucking sense and i'm tired of it

[bylertruther-moved]

it’s always been extremely weird and insulting to me when people make lucas so homophobic in their headcanons or fics... like, what in the world ever gave you the idea that he would be a bigot? please, tell me what the show has ever said or done that has given you that idea. lucas, like dustin, is another character that gets bullied specifically for something that is entirely out of his control: his race. he’s one of the few black characters on the show. he’s been repeatedly bullied, harassed, and attacked for being black. why the hell do you think he would look at will, his best friend, and bully him for something that’s also entirely out of his control, aka his sexuality? what makes you think that lucas would hate will when he’s known will for almost just as long as mike has? lucas is will’s second friend ever and considering how standoffish mike can be to newcomers and the anecdotes joyce told in season two, it wouldn’t even be a reach to say that will likely recruited lucas to their party. lucas and will love each other, support each other, and have remained the best of friends throughout the entire series, their friendship never once faltering. lucas has been shown to be kind, perceptive, and caring time and time again. why do you think that he of all people would become an aggressor? a bully? why do you think that he of all people is most likely to attack someone for the simple crime of being who they are? i know why, but just... why?

#lucas sinclair #i think of lucas who just wanted to find will lucas who didn't want to leave max out lucas who ALSO biked across town in the rain to #apologize to will and then ALSO apologized AGAIN explicitly because he wanted will to know that he regretted what he did and that will's #efforts weren't bad or uncool i think of lucas who is BEGGING his friends to PLEASE support him as he's always supported them #lucas who begs his friends to PLEASE come to his game lucas who sees that max is struggling and wants to help her in any way he can #but that never once pushes her or forces her or makes her feel bad lucas lucas lucas who has so much love and heart #and care to give to all of his loved ones because he just wants them to be safe and happy and loved #because he's black you think that he'd be a terrible person? because he's black you're willing to erase all of that and paint him as a bully #???????? what the fuck is wrong with some people in this fandom bro every time i read that it takes me right the fuck out #like are you even watching the show . i know the answer is no clearly not but like . what the FUCK #u bitches DISGUST me sometimes i swear bro #being a poc certainly does not exclude u from being homophobic but like. dustin and lucas are more likely to sympathize with #will than mike. canonically speaking. let's be fucking real. lucas got bullied for his race dustin got bullied for his disability #and will got bullied for being gay. all of these are things that you cannot help. things that you're born with. things that you can't change #what did mike get bullied for? oh. right. being a fucking nerd. big whoop. #y'all know how i feel about mike but with what has been shown to us explicitly it just makes no fucking sense and i'm tired of it #keep lucas's name out of your mouth if you're gonna disrespect him like that!!!!!!!!! #my posts #my thoughts #lucas

[nikolai-vincent]

Y'all I have a big list of Byler things and I need help to make sure that everything I've stated is actually true and not my mind making things up💀🤣🤭 so prepare for a long list and I'll cut it down so it doesn't take years if you wanna scroll by it lmao

Mike tried calling Will all the time while he was in Cali (& could be the reason for weird airport interaction) Mike can't use a telephone to talk to El bc of of government listening in, so Dustin's words are about Mike calling Will but not being able to reach him.

It wasn't love at first sight, the offical season 1 trailer with the scene where they first find El, Mike's first thought is "That's not Will." And also this is Mike's plan to get rid of her from the night they found her, even though he is supposedly already in love with her since he said he loved her the moment he saw her?🤨

His monologue didn't help/wasn't fully true, El didn't have a single flashback of her and Mike throughout their whole relationship except for when they found her in the woods. They've been dating for roughly 9 months before breaking up for 3, then getting together again and currently at 6 months (so 1 year and 3 months of officially dating, having known each other fully for 3 years, although not fully because she was gone for a whole year) and yet she didn't have a single other memory besides the night they saved her?

Mike and El didn't speak that much for 2 full days while they were stuck in the van?? Even after Mike's love confession, all El was apparently talking about was how she feels like she lost the battle with Vecna and how Brenner had put it into her head and stuff.

Mike has a sort of superhero idealization for El. He's mentioned multiple times that she's a superhero, she's a machine that can help find Will, and it's shown throughout the seasons how much Mike loves superheroes. In my opinion, that's not a super great thing to compare your girlfriend to, especially after she has shown to want to be more than that, but feels like that's all she's good for now.

They never see eye to eye/always disregard the others feelings/attempt to be understanding. All of their arguments I've seen, they both try to be understanding at first, but then they shut each other down and speak for the other person when they're doubting each others thoughts (one scene perfectly showing this is their fight in El's room in season 4).

Mike and El knew each other for roughly a week (at 12 years old) before getting together and then immediately getting separated for a whole year, only to become reunited and jumping immediately into a relationship at 13 and ignoring their friends to only kiss each other for 6 months and not deepen their bond emotionally?? Then they break up like it's nothing and Mike doesn't know what she likes when he tries to buy her a gift to apologize (only after Lucas says something) (then getting into a fight with Will for the first time and apologizing as soon as possible on his own choice).

Mike has issues saying I love you (tried saying it once in s3 and couldn't even say the word "love", instead going for "blank makes you crazy" which El didn't understand. Only time he says it was in a high stress situation and he blurted it out to everyone except her, with a look of shock and confusion. S4 he doesn't say it at all, writing "from, Mike" all the time, to which he is confronted by her and only is able to say "I care for you... so much." And "I say it." ("It" being I love you) (which is a lie) That fight in El's room would've been the perfect time for him to tell her he loves her after he sees her crying to him about it, he could have perfectly said something like, "El, of course I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it, I'm just not used to feeling this way, but thank you for talking to me about it, I'll try to work on it." Or something to comfort her. In the end he is only able to say it in a high stress situation (AGAIN) and only after having a whole speech from Will, and needing Will to tell him not to stop and to say whatever it was he couldn't before. (Which, Will didn't know that Mike couldn't say I love you to her) Mike was given false hope that El needed him and felt better for being different because of him, which was a lie and those feelings were from Will himself, his speech was a veiled love confession.

Mike subtly (or unintentionally) compared both of his relationships with Will and El by saying that meeting Will "was the best thing he's ever done" but meeting El was "Not fate. Not destiny. Just simple, dumb luck." (He chose to befriend Will, by actively going up to him and asking, whereas he didn't choose to meet El, it was an accident).

Mike struggles to switch his focus between El and Will, we've seen throughout all of the seasons how Mike acts with Will and how he acts with El, and I'll be honest, they're pretty similar. He's soft, sweet, and casual with Will, and he's nice, gentle, and kind with El (just in general, relationship stuff aside). But then you put them in the same room and Mike doesn't know how to act properly with either of them, and we honestly don't see the real interactions with these three until season 3. I've noticed a lot that when Mike and El are in a relationship, they ignored everyone and just made out, but after they broke up, the whole group was together and had no issues with doing so (I guess the flayed helped with that, though lol).

Will is the only person that Mike will immediately try to apologize to if he did something wrong, whereas anyone else he blames others and doesn't apologize until someone tells him to (examples: Dustin told Mike to apologize to Lucas in season 1 after they fought, Mike was blaming Lucas and didn't want to apologize even though Mike was the one that started the fight. He didn't apologize to El in season 3 for the way he was acting, instead choosing to lie and needing help from Lucas on what to get for El as an apology (again, Mike knows nothing about El by this point still), and yet later on after he has a fight with Will, he bikes to Will's house to apologize, he blames himself, calls himself an asshole (with Lucas following, not leading). Seasone 4, the second fight that Mike and Will have is in the skating rink, Mike calls Will a douche and says he sabotaged the whole day by moping, rolling his eyes, and not talking but later on he goes to Will and immediately starts apologizing and says he was being a self pitying idiot, and telling Will that he wasn't being a douche and Will didn't deserve to be called that).

Mike and Will are very different compared to their friendships with Dustin, Lucas, or Max. (With proof being from Mike himself, saying "Max and Dustin and Lucas.. they're-they're great.. they're great, it's just-it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you. And maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I feel like I lost you or something." (Something along those lines lol)

The Duffers have compared Mike and El's relationship to Elliot and E.T, a friendship between a kid and an alien.

El was upset with Mike during the cabin cleaning scene (giving him a side eye and sighing heavily before going to her room) after Mike's supposed love confession.

Mike agreed (by nodding) when Will was talking in the desert about how it's scary to open up to people you care about the most bc of them possibly not liking the truth (Will was comforting Mike about El during this, sort of) (Why would El not like the truth if the truth was that Mike loves her?? Sus).

Mike showed a big difference in priority when it came to searching for Will vs El. In season 1 after Will went missing, Mike (+ the party) was told by the police to stay home and not interfere in the investigation. Mike disobeys and goes out (+ the party) to search for Will in the dark and rain. After meeting El, they use her as a weapon to continue searching for Will. After finding Will's "body" in the quarry, Mike switches on El and is mean and blames her for not telling the truth about Will. El then shows Mike through the walkie-talkie that Will is alive and Mike believes her (even after seeing Will's body, he has hope again that Will could be alive), he's nice to El again after this. Vs, when El goes missing at the end of S1 and going into S2, Mike believes she's dead (although not seeing a body), and doesn't go searching for her. He sees her through the window on the same night she disappeared, but he never goes out to look for her. The only thing he does for the whole year is try to talk to her through a walkie-talkie, but he never leaves his house to try and find her (even though he's seen proof of her being alive) while she's gone, Mike's priority is fully focused on Will and his possession. In season 3, Hopper threatens Mike to stay away from El (similarly to what he said about staying home and not looking for Will in season 1) and he immediately agrees and doesn't try to see her.

Mike has a lot of familial/platonic parallels with El's father figures than he does romantic, he's always paralleled with Brenner (with proof in season 4, the "what did you do?" / "what have you done?" scene at the rink) which is so bad and sad, and some scenes similarly with her and Hopper.

Gotta say it, Mike has looked at Will's lips multiple times (at least 4, off the top of my head) (which is 4 times more than he has with any of his other friends probably) and he barely does it with El. If it was a mistake during filming, they would've shot it again, bc they were obvious but they stayed in.

And just with the way Mike looks at Will compared to his other friends or even El, that boy looks more in love than the one canonically in love.💀

In both season 1 and season 2 (besides their first kiss and the snowball (which weren't planned originally, I believe)) Mike has never been the one leaning in or attempting to kiss El, he just stands and stares confused as she does all the work.

Mike has Will's art all over his basement from when they were children (and some in his room, I think?) But he throws away and crumples all of the letters he receives from his long distance girlfriend? Sus.

The difference in Mike's reactions to being broken up with romantically vs platonically in season 3. His face shows a sort of disgust and almost guilty when El breaks up with him, and his face is full of guilt and sadness when Will tells him he wanted to stay with him forever.

Mike was fruity af during his apology to Will in S4 Ep4 just saying.

Canonically Mike only smiles in pictures when Will is in them as well. (Photos in tags bc I'm at the limit😔)

It's been confirmed that Mike is clueless about Will's feelings for him, so I'm wondering why he was so affected by the 6 months away with only a couple phone calls that lead to him not even wanting to hug Will at the airport (even though he saw how happy and excited Will was to see him again) when he hugged Will perfectly fine at the end of S3 (even though they never actually resolved their first fight in the rain?) Hm. Sus.

Mike has Smalltown Boy on his (OFFICIAL) spotify playlist?? A song about "the need for gay men to flee small-town intolerance and pursue reinvention in the big city. " ???

Just a cute thing about Mike and Will beings friends since the first day of kindergarten (when they were 5 years old) and having the longest friendship out of everyone in the party.

Kind of iffy about this one but the song Tarzan Boy was playing at the roller rink (a song about being free and doing what you want) when Will, Mike, and El were at the table. (Probably not a lot of significance but still a thing).

From an outsiders perspective, Mike and El were not happy when they were skating at the rink together, from Will's perspective, they were super happy and laughing together while Will was left behind. This is shown when Angela walks into the rink with her friends, we see Mike and El from her pov and their faces are very stoic while they hold hands.

That's all I have for now, I've had these written in my notes for like 2 years lmao but please, if you've even gotten this far, let me know if anything looks inaccurate and I'll fix it:) and also feel free to add anything you've noticed as well! I'd love to see it.

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler analysis #<sort of

[nowmemoriees]

HOPPER'S LETTER × BYLER

- season 3 finale analysis

Now that y'all are bringing up Hopper's letter again, it's time to reinforce byler coding affirmations here.

We know there are some parts of this letter that are related to Mike's feelings, and part of this has already been pointed out before season 4. But this new season made this make much more sense.

- "Feelings.... Jesus, the truth is, for so long I've forgotten what those even were."

- "Lately, I guess I've been feeling.. distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something."

Season 4 perfectly demonstrates this is about Mike's feelings about Will. First of all, at the end of season 3, Eleven said "I love you" to him, so how could Mike think she was pulling away from him?.

But then we remember he had a fight with Will, a fight he could never apologize for, a fight that messed up all of those years they've spent together.

"Listen, the truth is the last.... year, has been weird. Max, and Lucas and Dustin, they're great. It's just, it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you".

That's why Mike says "the last year." because they haven't seen each other for 6 months, but Mike already felt he was losing Will even before that. When he was dating El.

Season 4 starts and Mike finds out (through another letter 👀) that Will may like someone else and is painting for someone else. Mike tried to call Will so many times, but Will never picked up the calls, so Mike thought he had already lost Will.

"I feel like I lost you or something."

Then we keep listening to Hopper's letter.

- "I miss playing board games every night"

The focus is now on the abandoned cabin. In season 3, Mike and Will's fight was because of this. Missing playing board games. Of course is something deeper than that. -Missing doing the things you love with the one you love, as it used to be.-

In season 4, we saw that Mike joined a DnD club. He was doing what he loved again, but not with the one he loved. Lucas and Dustin were great, but it was not the same without Will.

And Will also says something about this.

"We could play DnD and Nintendo for the rest of our lives". He still wants to spend the rest of his life playing with Mike. Nothing has changed.

We are shown the abandoned cabin as the letter voiceover keeps going. It looks exactly how we see it again in season 4... with Mike and Will in there, having their last heart-to-heart until the catastrophe starts again.

- "I know you're getting older, growing...

...changing" (and the focus is on Mike again)

"I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's whats scares me....

Here we have the demonstration that Mike was thinking about Will. He was looking at HIS house. Otherwise, he could have gone through hopper's cabin. but he didn't.

... I don't want things to change."

- "So I think that's why I came in here. To try to maybe.. stop that change. To turn back the clock, to make things go back at how they were."

And this is the confirmation. This scene perfectly parallels the scene in season 1 where Mike thought Will was d3ad.

In both scenes Mike believed he lost Will.

So, Hopper's letter hinted Mike's feelings towards Will and it explains Mike's behavior in season 4. But people still believe that Mike could not be bi/gay because that idea came out from no where? sureee....

#stranger things #byler #st4 #mike wheeler #byler is endgame #theories analysis

[starsarefire824]

(Not directed at you, just venting)

The backflips people will do to be biphobic are astonishing. Like my siblings in christ, it doesn't matter if Mike is gay, bi, pan or some other version of queer - why are we tearing each other down? I'm bi myself and if Mike is bi, great, if he's not, also great. I literally couldn't care less but to be *-phobic* about it is just wild to me. Like y'all will do so much to deny the existence of bi people.

People need to go touch grass. 🙄

I totally agree with you. I sort of flop between my feelings on Mike’s sexuality depending on my vibe on a specific day. Sure, I like to write him as bi—but that usually is a choice I make because I see a lot of my teenage self in him so it’s easy to tap into—-and it allows for (in my personal opinion) some interesting dynamics to be built between multiple characters.

But that’s just it—-isn’t it??? It’s a headcanon. Any take on Mike’s sexuality other than being straight up until this point, as it is written by the Duffer Brothers, is that he is a straight boy dating El.

Any other variance of that is pure speculation/analysis/hopes for season 5. Season 4 gave us some hints, there has been subtle things in past seasons. There have been a lot of choices made by his character that didn’t make sense until post season 4. And it becomes way more complicated when really taking into account his actions towards Will. But either way, Mike has not come out. Mike has not stated with words how he feels/ given any indication of his sexuality. So therefore, any headcanon by a fan of Stranger Things is valid.

I actually like Mike as gay. I, as a bi person, would fucking love if he was gay. It would be perfectly legitimate by what we’ve been shown, and his relationship with El could be explained away perfectly if season five wraps it up in a well written ending.

But so can bi Mike. Bisexuality is also a valid conclusion for Mike. He won’t be lesser than or not queer enough if he ends up being bi.. He won’t love Will Byers any less if he is bi. He won’t be less sexually attracted to Will if he is bi. He won’t be less of a person if he happened to be in love El and Will at the same time in his life. Or god forbid, be sexually attracted to a female. He is still valid as a character if he is bisexual.

And no……he won’t be “better rep” if he is gay.

While I’m at it, even if Mike chose El in the end (which we won’t know until season 5 because we, in fact, are not in the writers’ room) while still harboring attraction and romantic feelings for men, doesn’t make him ANY LESS FUCKING BI. Or any less fucking QUEER. And im so tired of talking about it.

#mike wheeler #bi mike wheeler #gay mike wheeler #straight fucking mike wheeler #you valid baby no matter what #byler #stranger things #anon ask

[organic-guacamole]

Episode 207 spoilers below

I say this a lot but this episode was insane and is now my favourite.

WE GOT EJ

gotta love how dedicated he is to his extracurricular activities. water polo, class treasurer, AV club president-

I'm not a portwell shipper, but they have an amazing friendship dynamic, like can I get a bestie like EJ please?

Ricky lowkey looks like he's been crying all night-

can someone check up on this boy? please? Mike where are you buddy, your son needs help.

"It doesn't mean anything"

"It means so much to me"

omg soulmate things😍😍😍

uhhh since when are Ricky and EJ so close??? they're literally talking and laughing together what? when?

I'm not complaining, it's just surprising.

please sebby, I would love deh so much I can't even explain it.

also didn't they say that Ms Jenn has never seen deh?

*gasp* what if she's just pretending that they don't have the rights to it so they don't have to talk about her not seeing such a CLASSIC

hmmmmm ~thats suspicious, that's weird~

(what is happening to me rn-)

look at Kourtney goooo

designing costumes, being in the musical and being an assistant manager? I wish I could multitask like that

an elephant.

the way I already know something's gonna happen with Howie.... like their relationship can't move that fast, if the writers don't have plans to mess with them a bit.

OK GO WITH ME FOR A SEC: PICTURE SEB AND CARLOS, WITH SWITCHED PERSONALITIES.

anyways

why is Carlos so funny? who gave him the right to make me laugh so hard over a one liner that doesn't even make sense.

oo he has abs *Debby Ryan face*

PLEASE NOT THE BUTT PADS

hi yes, are you still trying to tell me EJ isn't bi after this episode?

WHY IS CASWEN SO CLOSE TODAY? THAT LOOK, I SAW THAT LOOK WHAT IS HAPPENING 😭

GINI INTERACTIONS TOO? WHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE PLEASE SEND HELP???

@sunshine-julie-molina might need help too after that *waits patiently for them to scream at me in dms*

what the heck.

North high is a literal castle???

Get a room redlyn, y'all have been there for like 5 seconds omg

ah yes. sebby the silent voice of reason

um who's this dude? I don't like how he's looking at Gina-

keep walking sir

calm your man tits, you're not that hot 🙄

EXCUSE ME

CAN I GET YOUR SNAP?

BOY YOU CAN CATCH THESE HANDS

EJ BABY

"hey babe"

alright I'm gonna say it

i don't like how in this society men will only leave a girl alone when they have their partner right next to them. so screw you random north high jock. respect women and then we can talk.

right so... moving along

why is the back of EJ's shirt just yellow. idk why but I wasn't expecting that.

when your favourite trope is fake dating and this happens: 🤡

ANTOINE MY BOYYYY!!!!

oh look Ms Jenn's here too

aww Seb's "friendship" thing caught on a bit

what the heck?? I knew we hated Zach BUT HOW DARE HE

my new favourite thing: Antoine using English words without knowing what they mean.

"Fugly"

You go sebby, bop to the top🥰

please they had the right idea, dance-offs are stupid.

...

oh ok guess we're doing this now.

kill the beast? more like, kill the Lily *wheEze*

(please send help, I'm so sleep deprived rn)

in 10 years....

"mommy, how was I made?"

"it all started when we danced in your dad's office..."

but actually

WHY DO I FEEL SO WEIRD WATCHING THIS-

and here I thought Mike and Ms Jenn's flirting was bad.

Lily + Ricky = Licky

this is the only reason why they'd be terrible together /j

right so lily doesn't care about the rose song, but she memorized the lyrics? something tells me she stays up at night watching it and writing out one liners to bring people down.

yes "Diane", his accent is amazing but back off, he's mine😃🔪

TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS-

BETWEEN THIS, THE SHAWN MENDES LINE, AND THE HARRY STYLES THING-

they can't leave poor ricky alone omg😭😭

jealous big red is something I never knew I needed to see.

don't worry EJ, I like the mob song. just not whatever remix thing this was /hj

wow I wonder who the north high beast is😐

hehe Antoine looks so short next to Carlos and idk why

SEB IS SO CUTE WHEN HES TRYING TO BE TOUGH AHHH

Ashlyn's high note>>>>>>>>

how is it that every time I think that Ashlyn has shown her full talent, she continues to amaze me every single time.

Also, Ashlyn sang wondering, which was an alteration to the script? why wasn't that mentioned?

EJS FACE AT THAT LINE OMG

we only keep you around for sports analogies omg EJ, keep up

ZACH TOOK THE MASK?!?!?!?!??!😱😱😱😱😱😱

I'm so shocked /s

Alexa, set my alarm sound as EJ caswell saying "good morning east high"

seblos when the elephant sound came from the beast 🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏼‍♂️

Did Kourtney never ask what school the guy she's dating goes to? like how would she not know?

Nini's reputation era

wait I mean Nina

y'all realize that she's actually done with Ricky rn? like totally cutting him out.

literally changing the name she's had for so long because it's the name Ricky gave to her-

anyways I can't really blame her, but can she at least try to understand Ricky a bit?

they both have totally different plans for the future so they need to ✨communicate✨

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #hsmtmts spoilers #caswen #seblos #antoine protection squad #nini salazar roberts #gina porter #kourtney greene #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #ms jenn #guac's episode text blocks :)

[sijsaddictivelemurcorner]

One of my longest reviews so far, holy dang. Also, I'm going to be doing some little collage thumbnails for each episode so this is gonna be more fun to do than the review itself, lol. I wasn't able to gather much images, especially from Netflix for some reason sadly so there wasn't much images to use for this thumbnail (and for the topics the review covers). But there's going to be better collage thumbnails, don't y'all worry! xd

S1;E8 (Viva Mort) Review

Viva Mort is the eighth episode of the first season of All Hail King Julien.

This episode reiterates the influence King Julien still has from his uncle, despite his actions and how he tried to kill his own nephew (Episode 1, King Me and 5, Revenge of the Uncle King), the relationship between him and Maurice, and the continued rebellious, anarchy phase Becca and Abner ambitiously grew interested in (through the actions of King Julien himself). So there's going to be a lot to unpack in this review.

To start off, we must focus on the first scenario; King Julien's mindset and his actions towards his friend, Maurice. For him to still see his friend as an inferior individual regardless of their long-term friendship is not surprising at all, given how he treated him beforehand through constantly slapping the blame onto his friend or making him do what he should be doing at any chance he can get.  King Julien does like being friends with Maurice with all his heart, but his treatment is just something we all know Maurice is too used to enough. It begs the question; How has he not gotten sick over him entirely? Is their friendship that strong, or well, that tolerant?

The two seem to play at one another a lot while also being aware they aren't doing harm to one another, hence why Maurice was laughing at Julien when he was overreacting, mostly as a way to 'get even'. It would make sense he wouldn't feel sorry since Julien mocked him multiple times, to barely feeling bad for making his friend look bad. Sometimes to gets me reasonably mad. Sometimes it perplexed me. It's the kind of situation that leaves me baffled all the time.

The same questions could go for his abides to the kingly rules despite his goals were to go against it - (i.e. bypassing his uncle's laws on fun and other restrictions), but whenever he gets the chance, of course he'd go back to respecting the rules he was rallying against. It's almost funny yet irritating at the same time. He also was shown to still show appreciation for his father, which is yet again head hurting to hear considering... you know.

But to not drag this on, let's go on the final cover up for this episode; The radical influence of Becca and Abner.

We already knew about their inspiration to go against the king and the government began through King Julien's 'impersonation' as Banana Guy Mike, whom they seem to idolize as they brought him up at least three times in a form of remembrance, wanting to continue a legacy that shouldn't have been created in the first place.

But it leaves me out some questions; Were they against the government before? Considering they're southern stereotypes, it's not surprising they would be the "rebellious southern people who rebel against the man" trope, but this time, the trope feels useless here, in my opinion. 

Why are they complaining about something King Julien doesn't give a darn about? They can eat whatever they want, they can go wherever they want- there are no specific rules stating they can't go here or there. I mean, it's the jungle! Barely anything is off limits in the jungle, with the main areas literally being in the foosa's territory.  Unless I didn't look through their character enough, I feel like their rebellion is a waste of time and won't really achieve nothing since it was ALREADY PROVEN IN THE FIRST EPISODE THAT A LEADERLESS KINGDOM WILL CAUSE CHAOS AND EASIER FOOSA ATTACKS. 

Either they're not rhetorically bright or maybe they're just that dedicated to this kind of commitment. While I still think what they're doing is a waste, it's interesting seeing their approaches and ideas. Plus, they do make a pretty great - and funny - team! It's so weird that they're already thinking of overthrowing the kingdom despite King Julien is still a recently crowned king. 

Overall, this episode was quite the ride to look over and observe closely, while still having some ugly laughs over some scenes that I shouldn't have laughed so hard at but that's my sense of humor, you know? I would say Viva Mort is one of my favorite episodes from Season 1.

There's just something about it that kept me in my bed most of the time. 10/10 episode as usual, heuha.

also mort has really good art skills okay

#ahkj #ahkj king julien #madagascar #episode review

[thanatosbananatos]

What in the heckin' heck is Hanji's backstory? -- A Meta

At this rate, Yams is never going to tell us.

I guess it may not be all that important to the story, but then again, knowing his writing style, he really enjoys leaving mysteries, and it won't surprise me in the slightest if this series ends with a lot of the mysteries being unsolved.  Hanji's backstory will likely be one of them.

As a disclaimer, I use she/her pronouns for Hanji, but Isayama specifically has stated that Hanji's gender is irrelevant, so please feel free to use whatever pronouns you'd like. If Hanji was real, I don't think she'd care, either...

Anyway, I want to start this meta laying out the facts we already know about Hanji BEFORE the year 845.

--Hanji had joined the Corps for ??? reason, and had a thirst to kill the Titans mercilessly, just like Eren at the start of the story.  She was “fueled by insecurity and hate.”  However, she kicked a Titan's head and was fascinated by how light it was, which began her obsession with the Titans from a scientific standpoint.

--Hanji does not bathe regularly and doesn't care about hygiene.  Apparently Levi has to knock her out to get her to bathe.

--Hanji doesn't care about gender.  Or at least, Isayama said it doesn't matter to the story.  In a very early interview, he stated that Hanji was female but had moments of masculinity, which means she's gender-fluid or nonbinary.

--Hanji was in the Corps before Levi, Isabel, and Farlan joined.

--Hanji has known Erwin, Mike, and others for a little while--it's a quick little thing, but in episode one of season one, Hanji is shown to be in the same squad as Erwin when Shardis was the Commander.

--Hanji has anger issues.  Isayama has stated that she is the scariest character when angered, and is also a different person with and without her glasses/goggles.

Aaaaand that's it.

Thanks, Yams.

Well, if the Wings of Counterattack game is to be believed, Hanji was also a super cute kid who was always kind of androgynous and messy-haired and had bad vision. Super cute.  I love.

But that's really it.  Hanji didn't even get a character song, despite Romi Park having the singing voice of a fallen angel that's going to drag me straight into hell where there are hot jazz musicians and Satan serves us all whiskey on the rocks.  Did y'all know she released a jazz/pop album?  It's fire and you can't stop me from thinking about Hanji being able to sing like that.

...I'm getting off track.

ANYWAY.

Compared to many other recurring characters in the series, Hanji has a very limited amount of backstory.  She's never even drawn as younger, even in the panel we get of her kicking the Titan's head--if you recall, it's just a dark scribble with a scary-looking grin.

That being said, Isayama has indeed been dropping bread crumbs here and there with clues throughout the series that can lead us to a conclusion about Hanji's past.

Where was Hanji born and raised?

I think it's fair to say that Hanji was not raised with wealth.

It's hard to draw conclusions about her exact family, but considering her being totally chill with not bathing for weeks and being a little bit of a...gremlin, she probably grew up somewhere in Maria, or in the slums of someplace in Rose. However, I tend to lean more toward Maria.  

For me, it's not really an issue of just her hygiene--it's also her social skills.  Again, we know ZILCH about her parents/guardians, so they could have been weirdos, but I think also that Hanji just didn't have the proper upbringing to gain boundaries like normal people.  She gets up in people's faces, she can be very physical/grabby, and she can be argumentative and stubborn to a fault.  I think it's fair to sometimes call her actions childish, though some of them also are symptoms of something like ADHD.

I want to argue, however, that she is just eccentric.  I think it's part of who she is and was raised to be--or perhaps it's from a lack of attention.  

She also just doesn't care about a lot of things that people raised in high-status upbringings would care about.  She literally throws on her uniform jacket over her pajamas when called out to see Pastor Nick's death scene.  Showering/bathing every day is not a priority,but it's also not something that bothers her.  For instance, I'm incredibly busy, but I shower every day because anxiety dictates it to be so, but I also just enjoy being clean.  Hanji is super busy and could make time to shower/bathe more than she doesn't, but she doesn't see it as a priority and never once is it mentioned that she pays any mind to it.  

Regarding her gender, I wonder if she was an only child.  It's possible that there were expectations put on her to be more of a “lady,” but she was much more concerned with studying and learning.  

That's just speculation, of course.  Some people just are the way that they are.

However, I think she was an only child for a couple of other reasons, too.

First, I think that economically, if she did grow up in Maria, one child was all that her parents could afford. There are also just not a lot of people in the walled world with siblings; it's just not very convenient to add to an already-starving population, I suppose.  

But also, I think her love for studying might be connected to this.  I know that, as a kid growing up with older brothers MUCH older than me and not a lot of friends, I loved to read to the point that I owned my own encyclopedias and actually read them. A lot of kids who grow up lonely/isolated tend to do the same.  

Especially if she was already such an extroverted kid, I think she'd need the stimulation.

Why did Hanji hate the Titans?

It's possible to think about this from a couple of different angles, but there's one that I prefer over the other.

First, we could consider that Hanji perhaps lost someone she cared about to the Titans.  Maybe her parents joined the military and were killed.  Maybe her sibling, or aunt or uncle, or grandparents.  

Second, we could consider that she valued freedom and independence, and that she considered the Titans to be something that stood in the way of that.

Personally, I think the second one is more likely.  Of course, it's possible that both happened!  We really don't know.  

However, I lean toward the second option because of Hanji's personality, and the little we know about her when she joined the Corps.  She was a bit unhinged (as all interesting characters are), and she was very violent.  This tends to be a characteristic of people who are forced to keep everything in for a long amount of time.

In psychology, there are two categories of people:  externalizers and internalizers.  For instance, if a child endures trauma, and their reaction is to lash out violently (physically or verbally), or to become selfish and attention-seeking, that is considered externalizing.  On the other hand, if the child endures the trauma and then keeps it locked up, considers the abuser to be the “real” victim, learns self-blame, etc., then that is internalizing.  

For instance, Erwin is probably an internalizer, when we take into account his father's death and the trauma he endured because of it.  Armin is also an internalizer.

Hanji, however, is probably an externalizer.  She shows a lot of the signs of someone who has perhaps undergone something traumatic/repeated traumatic events and has lashed out as a sign of “dealing with it.”  It's a sign of emotional immaturity, so it makes sense that that's what Hanji was doing as a young'n.  She's also quite empathetic, which could add fuel to any flames, and she's also proven to be a skilled manipulator.

What was the trauma?  I think it was the feeling of isolation.

One thing that really is evident to me is how goddamned EXTROVERTED Hanji is.  If we have the scale E to I, Hanji is probably one of the farthest if not THE farthest over on the E side of ALL of the characters in this story.  She likes to talk, she verbalizes everything, she enjoys people, and she clearly gains energy from social situations.

I have a feeling that Hanji has always been a bright kid, and that perhaps she was understimulated as a result of growing up not only in a poor community, but being surrounded by this big-ass walls and constantly being told, “No, you can't go outside.  You'll be eaten alive by Titans.”

She would very naturally turn into this teenager/young adult with a thirst for absolutely destroying the things that kept her locked up in the first place.

Again, I think either situation is likely, but I have the feeling that it goes deeper than just getting revenge for someone's death. Something tells me that Hanji has been looking for answers to deep questions for a long time.

So, Hanji joins the military.  Then what?

Well, from the hints that Yams has dropped, Hanji met Erwin, Mike, Nile, and perhaps others at some point.  I don't think that Hanji was in the same class as them, save for maybe Moblit, but I think she probably knew them. This part is a bit hazy, considering that we don't know what age Erwin and company were when they joined the military.  Mike is canonically older than them all, pushing 40 years old (like a fine wine) at around 850.  Erwin is supposedly in his late 30's, and I believe even Levi is older than Hanji, which would put her around 30 at in the year 850.  

Now, if we think about when Levi entered the Survey Corps, which I believe was in the year 846...

Hanji was not a new recruit that year, and she already seemed to have a pretty close friendship with Moblit.  She was also more emotionally mature.

In other words, Hanji had probably already kicked the head of that Titan by the time Maria fell.

That means, it had to have been before Shiganshina/Maria fell that she had a change of heart.  

During all of this, Mike and Erwin were also in the Corps, and they probably witnessed this change.

However, despite it being explicitly mentioned in the manga, this is the hardest part to flesh out about Hanji's backstory.

We at least know the details of her becoming a Squad Leader specifically focused on the science of Titans, thanks to the OVA for Ilse's Journal.  It was thanks to her curiosity, emotional maturity, and a bit of dumb luck that it happened.  

But before this, we don't know much else about her time in the military, and it's hard to discern anything without knowing details about the others, too.  

I know that there are snippets of details in smartpasses (is that what they're called?) that reveal that she, Mike, and Erwin were friends, etc., but that really doesn't give us much to go on. Much of it, unfortunately, remains a mystery.

However, there is one last thing I want to point out:

In the first episode of season two, after Hanji lets Nick down instead of yeeting him off of the wall, she mentions “I haven't felt this way since I first went outside of the walls.  Talk about scary.”

There are many people who interpret this line as her fear of the Titans, but I think it's fear of her own anger.  She was ready to brutally kill someone who could have otherwise provided valuable information, just because of her pure rage.  

I think this moment, along with a couple of others (kicking down the table and saying “it was a roach,” for instance), drive home some of the assumptions from earlier in this meta.  Consider the torture scene and her actions compared to Levi's.  Levi grew up in an environment where violence was used as a form of communication.  You don't see him saying a lot as he punches Sannes over and over.  He doesn't stick around to talk to the men once they're returned to their jail cells.  

Hanji is, however, a bit too eager to rip the nails and teeth out of this guy (partially as revenge for Pastor Nick's death, I'm certain).  She rips into them verbally as well, as they sit defeated in their jail cell.  Her anger is a terrifying force.

So what's the point?

Well, there's not really one.

I just would like to know more about one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

Is it important to the story?  Well, not necessarily.

But what if this backstory is more than I wrote here?  What if it's something quite wild or disturbing?  What if it digs further into the fundamentals of humanity?  Was she abused?  Was she bullied?  Is she just psychologically disturbed?  

Like I said, we may never know, and at this point (2019/09), the series seems to be coming to an end.

I personally think it's really too bad.  The story is a character-driven one, so to leave so much mystery around Hanji's past is very curious.  Hanji tends to get shoved to the side a lot (though not as much as some other MCs), so it’s pretty frustrating to see that even the creator isn’t divulging more information...

Then again, I guess it does make writing fics easier, right...?

#hanji zoe #hange zoe #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #meta #snk meta #aot meta #attack on titan meta #shingeki no kyojin meta #my meta #please treat her right for once #i'm so tired of how hanji gets treated lol #hanji defense squad

[yaboylevi]

hey vivi how are you? hopefully you’re doing good ! question in your personal opinion do you think that we stopped seeing eren’s caring side towards levi bc of what happened in RtS arc? do u think like in a way he resents? or feels betrayed by levi’s actions? i mean eren trusted levi kinda blindly i would say so maybe he felt a little deceived by levi ? anyways i’m just curious on ur thoughts on this, have a good day! :D

Okay hi, so…I got this question once in the past already and I decided to not reply for various reasons. I didn’t really feel like replying to this either, as you could guess by how long it took me to actually reply (I actually typed a full answer 3 times in these 2 months but deleted all of them aahh). But I have a question for y'all I would really love hearing an answer to: Is this a common interpretation/headcanon in the ereri fandom recently?

So, anyway… if they were real people experiencing such a development, based on MY feelings and how I’d react, I would say yes, it would be normal for Eren to have developed a sort of resentment once things calmed down a little and he thought back on how absolutely unfairly Levi treated him back then: he agreed to give Eren the serum only to take back the offer at the last moment; he basically told him to shut down his own feelings, dismissing them, when Levi himself couldn’t do the same; he lost his patience and punched him in the face with such strength that he made Eren lose half of his teeth. I understand why it happened: Levi is not emotionally mature at times, imo, and it was a charged development with important lives at stakes and they were all mentally and physically drained. But he didn’t even apologize.

Granted, no one apologized. However, Eren and Mikasa were made to feel responsible for everything that went down by a number of people (Hange, Floch, the other military in Paradis), and were punished for it. I don’t feel Levi held them responsible because I think at one point he realized he acted worse than them and also understood why they all behaved that way.

Either way, Levi never apologized, even though we could argue that Levi telling them to never regret their choice (as if they even had a say in the matter…) and ruffling their hair was a sort of double apology (i.e: I forgive you and I hope you can forgive me). If it was real life, it wouldn’t be enough, in my opinion.

So long story short, I would feel betrayed alright, if I were Eren. Because Eren has always believed Levi was the better man, someone he could count on to be fair and mature. Levi was none of those things during their altercation on the rooftop.

But if I were to look at the whole situation through the lenses of what is ACTUALLY portrayed in canon, I feel the answer to your questions is no, as it isn’t given the proper depth, for 3 reasons:

1. It seems like there were no grudges left amongst all of them. Especially in chapter 108, they all behave naturally, as they used to do before the timeskip, before the Shiganshina fiasco happened (Isayama would’ve shown it to us if it wasn’t the case). I feel there is tension only between Eren and Armin. Also, there aren’t many instances where the 104th need to rely on Levi’s mentorship as before because they aren’t at war, and international matters are in Hange’s hands so they all rely on Hange when searching for an opinion. But I would like to believe that, when Eren couldn’t see eye to eye with his friends, he consulted with Levi, because they often talked about “feelings” rather than “actions” (so it doesn’t matter if they’re at war or not in their case), they have very similar opinions and went through similar experiences in the past. But so far there’s nothing that supports this in the manga. There’s just that tiny panel of Levi saying that they’ll talk later, but I feel it was forgotten/unimportant. Anyway, no grudges mean they have all forgiven one another because they all understood the others’ actions in Serumbowl…or Isayama simply didn’t care about exploring such conflict amongst them because he had other, more important things he needed to tackle in the story, so he made all of them forgive each other off-screen, with no repercussion whatsoever on their relationships.

2. Eren and Levi barely interact during and post-timeskip, and what we see of their relationship is a shadow and/or a copy-paste of what has already happened in the past (Levi kicking Eren, Levi thinking back only to their first encounter as if everything that happened later on had no weight, Levi acting as Eren’s bodyguard, Levi thinking of Eren as hope). Nothing new, whereas Eren’s relationship with other characters has changed quite a bit.

If we consider it from Eren’s point of view, he stopped opening up to his friends after talking with Yelena, but before that, he was quite open about his opinions with both his friends and Hange and Levi. Levi, though, during these moments, felt distant, opinionless, almost like a background character. And it’s true, Eren kept secrets from his friends and comrades, but he was justified, considering the military’s and Hange’s treatment of Eren himself when it came to his titan’s powers. He always spoke his mind in every other instance. We don’t see Eren and Levi talking, because…I don’t know. But I don’t see resentment from Eren, nor from Levi. And Levi, oh, he should have a lot to talk about. Not only with Eren. With Mikasa, too, about their shared family. With Hange, about Erwin. But he’s just…there.

So the fact that two characters who used to share so much screen time together, who shared such a relationship where one of them used to guide the other, and the other used to open up to the mentor in private in the past, and who both used to play into the same themes of the story, now share close to no screentime, conversations, and themes, makes me think that it is either just to show Levi’s distance to their cause as a whole and Eren’s frustration with everyone in general, OR Isayama simply has no intention of keeping their relationship relevant anymore. And this last point brings me to number 3.

3. Isayama has dropped a significant amount of relationships or characters throughout the series, and sometimes it was very disappointing (Annie, Bertolt, Historia, Ymir, Mike come to mind). I didn’t think it could happen with the series’ most popular character and the protagonist, as they had consistent importance together throughout the whole series until the change of POV in the Marley arc (so for 80 chapters), but it may have as well happened for real.

With Levi dead or out of commission most probably until the end of the story - and so he will never meet with Eren again to have one of their usual talks - and with Eren in the middle of probably the last fight of the story where he will almost certainly die, I can see closure for Eren only in regards to his friends of the 104th. That’s also where the main focus of this whole arc has been. No closure for Levi re:most of his “bonds”. And again, in Eren’s memories in ch120, we see a shot of Levi from the Female Titan Arc, even though Eren and Levi had other relevant conversations down the road. Couple this with Levi’s flashback of an Eren from their first meeting in volume 2 (?), and I get the feeling Isayama has no intention of making them relevant to each other ever again. He decided to 1. make Levi’s character about revenge - and I’m curious to see what he will do with Levi, because he has already punished him for it so I’m waiting for a conclusion - and to emotionally separate him from the main cast, and 2. to make Eren a solo player who may have absorbed Levi’s teachings in (maybe) the wrong way, but his mentor won’t ever be there to confront him about it, because it’s not important as long as Armin, or someone else among the 104th, will act as Eren’s moral compass.

And it is kind of disappointing. It feels like wasted potential and abandoned character development. But I’m also biased about it.

–

tl;dr:

1. Eren has stopped talking to everyone in his group of friends after talking with Yelena. Levi is the one who feels the most distant in such group prior to that.

2. The fact that Eren hasn’t opened up to Levi about certain things could be: a. because we still haven’t been shown this (but I gave up on it, as new important memories were highlighted in ch120 and Levi’s not part of them); b. Eren doesn’t believe Levi has answers for him anymore or that his opinion is valid, as following the Serumbowl fiasco (but there is nothing that supports this in canon); c. Isayama just doesn’t feel their relationship is important to the story anymore.

3. My personal opinion is that Isayama just decided to take a different route with them singularly, in particular axing Levi’s character, and they will never be relevant to each other ever again.

#shingeki asks #don't know if I want to hear other ppl's opinions about it #but go on if you want to engage with this 'salty' analysis #it's not really salty #I'm just very disappointed and disillusioned #Anonymous #eren yeager #levi ackerman #oh and anon I'm good! busy as usual tho lol #hope you have a good day #snk spoilers

[har-rison-s]

STRANGER THINGS 3

Here will be my thoughts and wonders on the new season of Stranger Things. I have watched it all, so beware: SPOILERS AHEAD.

I will probably add more to this as time goes on and when I watch it again, but that's just the usual me :)

So.

The start - honestly, I thought it was a random lesbian couple kissing. Mike's hair is really long.

The thing about Mileven is I think they became a couple because everyone just assumed they would. The two could have stayed friends or at least have a slow burn. I really wanted to see the moment they became a couple. Call me blind but I need that speaking-out-your-emotions moment between them.

Anywhose, I can't with these teenage boys. They're so tall! They're so grown! Their noses are so big! Their voices are different! Wow. I just... I can't believe they've grown so much. I'm proud :> and I actually feel like a mother or a sister. It's like... Almost like Harry Potter, but not quite, I watched them grow up. And it's silly, because I don't even know them, but uh... Yeah. That is, that is truly something. They're growing.

I expected Hopper not to be completely okay with Mike and El, that was funny, but predicted. 

Looked like, to me, that Joyce isn't worried about Will as much as she was in the first two seasons. Yeah, he's not missing, but like, what about season 2, then? She said herself “when he's away from me, it's like i can't function anymore”. Where was that in season 3??? She didn't even ask him where he was, where he was going, at what time he should be home. I know it's summer, but like, Joyce, I love you, but where's your stress? :D

Max and Lucas. “i spend quality time with my girlfriend” “i've dumped him like 5 times” Their relationship wasn't at all visible this season. Where was it? Where was the worry? After each serious 'happening' they didn't have a moment of running to each other “are you okay?” or hugging or crying in each other's arms. If they were broken up, when was that? If they're not, then... well, where's the relationship?

I understand that may be because Mileven is made the big deal out of this season, which I don't particularly like. Like... I don't know. It seems like they're the most important to the show, but I don't think it is. 

And okay.... Will is the only one that doesn't have a girlfriend/partner. But what was that “it's not my fault you don't like girls” (or something like that) about? What the hell, Mike?

Or, better yet, was that the directors' or writers' attempt at telling the audience that Will is gay? Couldn't have found a better way? That whole... thing has flaws, I don't know. If he's gay, cool, I'm happy, but you could have found a better way to introduce that.

Actually, when I started watching ST, I honestly thought Will could be with Eleven. Like, that they would share feelings for each other and maybe never speak of them because they don't understand them, but uh I guess my sorta ship won't sail. I'm not mad, it's just what I thought. 

I was really afraid they'd make Robin Steve's love interest, which I wouldn't have liked. I didn't like Robin at first, but I found she's a lot like me, so I dropped the dislike. But uh, yeah, that bathroom scene was nice. AND, Steve didn't mention a threesome or turning her straight, which would be totally stupid and likely of another show to do. But it just proves more that Steve is a total sweetheart. I love.

Also, did anyone else find Robin's actress looking A LOT, A FUCKING LOT, like Lucy Boynton? In the trailer I thought it really was Lucy.

I actually feared that Dustin's girlfriend would have turned out made-up, cause that would be really stupid and they'd make him look like a stupid character, which he is not. And I love that. Would love to see Suzie more. 

Billy Hargrove. Boy, oh, boy. Listen, I really like him. In looks and in him, the character that he is. Yes, he's a big cliche, but well... What can I do?

It's very strange that there was no fighting between Max and Billy, only when he was trying to get out of the sauna. As if the whole relationship they had in season 2 didn't exist. But, then again, I can assume Billy isn't starting any fights or drama with her because Max intimidated him in the end of season 2. That's my only guess.

I didn't really cry when he died, I just felt sad cause... his character could have evolved, he could have become a better person if they hadn't killed him off. Or, he could have survived and realised his wrongs and that he needs to change, and then hopefully, in season 4, he would be a changed man and we would see him with a girl fooling around in a meadow or on top of a hill. (maybe that could be me)

I really liked that they showed Billy's childhood and the reason why he was violent and why he had anger issues. Actually, it looks like almost everyone in the show has anger issues. Hm.

Russians. Man, they're everywhere. From 2015, I've disliked that Americans make Russians villains. Not because I would like Russians or anything like that, they fucking evaded my country and countless others and kept them to themselves for almost a decade. To say I hate Russians would be an understatement. But it's just become a big cliche to put Russians in the villain role. I'd love to see them for once playing some secret good guys.

Since, thanks to my calculations, it is the year 1985 in Hawkins in season 3, it means it's a year until Chernobyl. Hear me out. I know, I'm a big fanatic of Chernobyl and its show, but it would just make a big plot to somehow involve Chernobyl. Before I checked the timeline, I thought it was 1986 in season 3. But, no. I just wanted a somehow mention or even a plotline with Chernobyl in ST. I just wish for it. There's no need, but that would be really cool. Chernobyl + Upside Down + Demagorgon? Yeah man.

Joyce is a bad-ass.

“I dump your ass” man was I laughing.

Max and Eleven spending time together was so cool! My girls!! I like Max a bit more than El, but that doesn't mean I don't like their friendship. I love it, I love them. I love how Max was caring for her and they were doing girl stuff together. I love that.

The scene where Mike tells El that he tried to buy her something nice, but only had 3.50 in his wallet - wow. That's a nice representation of us teens struggling in the modern society :D

Why didn't we see Max grieving her brother after his death? Yes, she cried when she saw him die, but afterwards... Idk, man. Was it because he was abusive and was never a brother to her? Could be. Was it because they never had a sibling bond? Probably. But it would have been nice to see a funeral for Billy AND Hopper, at least one scene. Nop. No funeral. Just like Nat's.

I wanted Max to tribute her brother in some way. Not sit in her room, maybe his, maybe going through his stuff or something. I don't know, but something should have been done.

Alexei! Smirnoff! Man. I liked him, I really did. I'm so sad he was shot. But it's weird that no one noticed a bleeding man in the middle of a fair. 

Murray could have talked in Russian better, but I guess if he's not fluent, well, then... Please learn the pronounciations better if next season's going to be with Russians, as well.

Honestly, at the very end, I expected to see other subjects (like El, Kali) shown in some way. I actually expected them to be in season 3. But where are they? Did y'all just forget about them? That they could be alive, living their lives, somewhere? That was missing.

I honestly want them to keep Steve single. That would be okay for me.

Hop dying. Man... that was really hard. I mean, I cried during the half of the last episode, of course. But Joyce lost him. His coworkers lost him. Eleven lost him. Poor baby. 

I was so broken when they were all saying goodbye and crying. Not just tears. FULL ON CRYING. BITCH ME TOO.

That's all I think. At least for now. 

#stranger things #st3 #season 3 #stranger things spoilers #stranger things season 3 #season 3 spoilers #mileven #jim hopper #billy hargrove #will byers

[delicateisfearless-blog]

Stranger Things Review |Season One

So I have just finished the first season of stranger things and I loved it. I had considered watching it in the past, but I thought it would be not as good or just another Riverdale (no shade! But they do drag some things out!!) But I think because the show has like eight episodes that's why it wasn't all over the place. Like the way it was written and the way it was shown to us was just perfect. I felt that we did see all the important characters equally, other shows have a hard time doing that but I really think this show did pretty well at keeping us with everyone each episode.

I would love to talk about every part of this first season but that would take days if I did that and I really need to start on season two. So I'll try to make this review as short and sweet as possible.

The Mother Who Believed

Joyce was one of the characters that truly stuck out this first season. Not only is she the first one to believe all the stuff that is happening, but she believed--or she knew that Will was alive. She isn't selfish in finding her son, she wants him back but she still told El to let her know if she couldn't handle being there long. Despite the fact her life is far from perfect she is a good mother who loves her boys and that's clear.

The females written this season (Joyce, El, and Nancy) were all strong women and I loved that. They had vulnerable moments for sure but that doesn't take away anything. Strong women can show emotion, they can be vulnerable. Joyce wasn't the woman who wanted to be saved, she figured out Lonnie and got him out of there.

Joyce is played by Winona Ryder who I first remember seeing in Bettlejuice as Lydia. (If y'all haven't seen that movie your tasteless af. I don't make the rules y'all!) I think if somebody else had taken on Joyce, then the character wouldn't have been brought to life as much as Winona plays her. Winona honestly had me bawling my eyes out in so many scenes, her talent is just saw raw, real and beautiful.

Even when she was in the most dire of situations she still refused to cower in fear. She didn't care. She had one job to do and that was to bring Will home. And at the end that's what exactly happens, I was crying when he came back and she had me in absolute tears---I'm crying writing this.

The Sister That Lost

Nancy was my favorite character this entire season. I knew before I actually watched that she would be, it was this vibe I got with her. The character isn't by any means perfect---she's this teenaged girl who just wants the guy and to matter. She's a teenager so she is intended to not always make the most calculated decisions, but still she was a major badass this season.

I think Nancy is a little naive in the beginning and even Barb sees that. But I think after she takes the next step with Steve The Shamer (sorry I'm still salty he and his friends pulled that sh*t!), Barb going missing, and the argument with Jonathan makes her realize that she is in fact being naive with chasing after somebody with horrible taste in friends.

There's this scene in the finale where she is smiling at the boys all being reunited. She's smiling but you see it fall and in that moment I just knew she thought Barb, and how she couldn't be reunited with her because she was gone. Her one true friend was dead and she had lost.

What I loved most about Nancy is that she wasn't scared. When it came down to it she went along with Jonathan---it was even her idea to go through with it--she wanted to get rid of it. I do think apart of her wanted to do it to protect Mike, but it was clear the main reasoning was justice for Barb.

The Superhero

El is introduced as this girl with these magnificent powers. She doesn't really know much about the world or what a lot of things mean. She starts learning stuff through Mike by starting off with friend. She doesn't really talk much but we do learn a lot about her as the episodes go on.

We see the brilliant and talent Millie Bobby Brown give off a spectacular performance as we see flashbacks to what she went through and just why she's trying to leave it all behind. I think Winona Ryder was the powerful actress this season, but Millie isn't far behind. When Mike pushes her away from him you see just how hurt she is and that she doesn't really understand. Her portrayal of El was just heartbreaking. She took on this role of this tragic girl who has had to deal with some horrible monsters and gave her hope, and then she lost that hope because she knew she had to take away the monster that was hurting her friends.

The Heartbroken Man

Jim Hopper is a character I wasn't sure what to think of at first. He came off as arrogant but we soon learn that he's this man that is completely lost and heartbroken in the world. As the season progresses we see more of Hopper and we learn that he has lost his daughter Sarah due to cancer.

In his flashbacks we see what appears to be a strong man who is positive. But when we see him by himself he is this broken man crying on hospital stairs because she's sick. I think what drives him to want to save Will is his daughter, it's as if he has this second chance to save somebody's child from dying.

I really fell in love with the character by the end of the season. He was great, a true asset to the series. Without him I don't think they would have had that chance to get Will back. He and Joyce really made a great team and I loved watching them work together.

Oh you should know that David Harbour going to be in the new Hellboy and Blackwidow. I have no idea if Hellboy is out yet but if you like the actor wait for them, I know so many people have waited for Blackwidow movie for years and the fact he's in it might add to the excitement.

The Photographer

Jonathan is a character that I was looking out for. I knew a spoiler and I was scared to watch the scene because I was afraid I would cringe. It's the scene where Steve breaks his camera, it was a well acted scene between the two males who are clearly after Nancy's heart. I think what Jonathan did was um a stranger thing to do--get it?

But he's weird. He's a weirdo, but I don't want to call anyone out here. (Riverdale.) This is how you write a weird socially awkward character. You have them act like this (not the camera thing, that's got nothing to do with being socially awkward.) But there are scenes where we see Jonathan putting up signs and you can just tell this is how he is. You don't need him to proclaim it outloud as him "being weird" you just know he is.

I actually really liked the Jonathan character once we got past the photos. He is this guy who helps around the house, cooks and tries to bring in extra cash. You see just how much family means to him---we see just how different his home life is compared to Nancy's. Nancy's family for sure isn't suffering but they aren't really all that close, but we see that Jonathan had a bond with his brother where they would listen to music together. I think the only thing in common is that there's complication between parents.

And as the season progressed I found myself loving him and Nancy over Nancy and Steve. I am looking forward to what's next for them in season two seeing as it was hinted in the finale something will arise between them at some point.

The Self-Sabotaging Jerk

Steve Harrington. I didn't really like him this season. I thought that he was pretty awful to Nancy this season. I'm not saying he didn't have his "good guy" moments. But he laughed when his friends cracked jokes and mocked her for taking the next step with him and then the slutshaming thing just really didn't set well with me either.

In the finale when he is cuddled up next to Nancy I felt nothing. I didn't feel happy they were together, it just felt like him slutshaming her was overlooked. I know she most likely forgave him by this point but I still didn't feel happy by it. But people said he will grow on me eventually. So I'm not saying I'll never like him, I just feel disappointed in him is all.

I think his problem is that he self sabotages good things in his life. I think he does this by wanting to be in with the right crowd and feel accepted into that life. But I think most likely based on some of the scenes that almost losing Nancy and getting punched he realized that he can't be that person anymore.

I did feel bad for him in the scene where his friends are being horrible to him. I think that's the most I felt bad for him, I didn't care about his selfish worries after Barb went missing. But I am open to seeing what they do with the character and how they'll get me to fall in love with him.

Boys On A Mission

The Party consists of the boys: Mike, Will, Dustin, and Lucas. And now El seems to be a member but seeing as I've discussed her already I'll leave her out of this one. So Mike is very loud in personality and I think that's what people love about the character. I didn't expect to like the character as much as I did, but the thing about this show is you don't hate the main characters, or I couldn't at least. They are all complicated and as the series goes you kind of see that. I did think Mike was a little selfish and didn't consider how his friends (mainly Lucas) was dealing with everything. But I still love the character and the actor did such a good job with the character.

I did kind of feel like Lucas and Dustin weren't really going to be that significant at first which is crazy because they do in fact appear a lot. I think what made me believe that is because Mike did become really involved with El, so I could understand why Lucas was jealous at first. But the fact that Mike became obsessed with El didn't take away Dustin or Lucas, they were still there. Annoyed but still there.

I do think Lucas was harsh with her but I understand that he was scared to trust letting anyone else into the party. Dustin has a very follow the leader type personality but that won't stop him from telling his friends like it is or calling them out on their sh*t.

Will is very interesting. He is bullied for being more I guess feminine and called fairy. Although he is possibly on the feminine side (we didn't really see much of him. He was barely in the season seeing as he was in the Upside Down) but that doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. I think the fact that showing this character be called these names and in his brother's room listening to music to block it out was one of the saddest things. Whether or not the character is gay doesn't matter, it's great if he is it's fine if he isn't. I think this character is a example to what is against toxic masculinity, guys thinks it's weak to cry or do more feminine stuff.

I think the lengths the party would go for one another is beautiful and what true friendship looks like. And I can't wait to see what's in store for these buds in season 2!

And with that...

So I think I covered all the important characters. Maybe I should have said something on Karen Wheeler... So right quick I had seen people talking about her before as not being the best mother. But she actually was a pretty good mother, she spent the entire season trying to get her children to open up to her and she worried about them nonstop. So Karen was a pretty good mother and I actually really liked her. My favorite mom on the show is still Joyce, but Karen is a close second.

And with that I just want to say that this season was one of the best I've ever seen of any show in this type of genre. Thank you and have a beautiful time and I hope to be on season 3 in a few days :)))))

#Stranger Things #Joyce Byers #Jim Hopper #Mike Wheeler #Eleven #Jane Ives #Dustin Henderson #Lucas Sinclair #Nancy Wheeler #Jonathan Byers #Karen Wheeler #Will Byers #Steve Harrington

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Meet and Greet

Yes, this is an MBJ fic and don't be mad. It's all in good fun. We fans. Not the crazy ones, just...

Anyway. Mike wouldn't be mad, he has a sense of humor. Happy Birthday @ange-sensuel my fellow scorpio queen. I love you, you're beautiful, and my mind got to working, so this is what came out.

Smut Ahead

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

"Fuuck..," Michael dragged through flared nostrils watching the petite and masterfully built brown woman work voodoo magic between his thighs. She was down on her knees sitting on a pillow, sucking her little heart out along with his soul. Her silver dress draped over the hotel bed along with her fur. Without him having to ask, she'd kept the heels on.

When he'd initially invited the stranger to his room, it was out of intrigue. She was a beautiful, clean, classy woman with long hair, long elegant legs and neck, a beautiful face, and big titties. He didn't think she'd be so nasty or focused on his pleasure, yet here she was.. making a mess of his dick and he couldn't take it. He could barely even speak. God if this woman looks me in the eyes she gone fuckin get it, he thought unsure of whether he wished for it or against it. She was fuckin him all up.

Angel's eyelashes fluttered and she gazed feverishly with bloodshot eyes up into Mike's own hooded eyes, her throat full of heated raw dick that was sensitive to the touch. Thick ropes of white saliva spilt from the corners of her full ruby red lips, collecting at his base as she moved her head back and forth swiftly. She could feel his tight fist gripping her long blown out strands into a makeshift ponytail.

"You fuckin nasty, suck that shit," he strained, sweat forming on his brow. The look is his eyes said, suffer bitch. His mouth was wide, an O before his big lips began to purse and pout. He was locked the fuck in, nodding, making tense eye contact.

Angel could feel his strong lust, palpable. It only made her hungrier to possess the man she'd dreamt about since she was a child watching Hardball. This meeting was a decade in the making. Meeting Michael was everything she'd dreamed it would be. When she'd approached him at the New Orleans meet and greet, he was taken by her flamboyance. Distracted. Her mild peacocking had worked. He was extremely friendly, playful, and flirtatious. In a short, fitted satin rouched silver dress coupled with a luxurious fur and tulle bolero that read old Hollywood glam, she was in her element. Photographers mistook her for a celebrity asking her name, but no one recognized it. Michael was no different, he'd asked her identity not recognizing her from any magazine or red carpet. Despite that, she sent him all the signals she knew how to show him she was interested and he'd picked up on every one, ultimately asking if she wanted to go with him back to his hotel. She was years past ready.

But he sure wasn't.

The wet and echoing gluck, gluck, gluck, was only interrupted by her harsh gasp as she attempted to cram minutes of breathing into a brief second. The glossy strong dick coated and dripping with her thick spit was calling out to her. She let the pool of excess spit collecting in her mouth drool heavily onto his length, sliding down his balls and to his hairless asscrack. The large cloth hotel chair Michael sat on was wet, stained with her spit. She grasped his dick firmly in her small hand, her index, thumb and pinky nails painted salmon pink with small silver and crystal appliques at the base. Her middle fingernails were marbled pink and grey. Her matching bra and panties were pink lace. She could tell he was enjoying that colorful view along with her silver stacked finger rings. She hadn't done it for him at all, but she knew he loved and appreciated it. It was just who she was naturally. Panting, she gobbled his length hungrily with a desperate moan. She felt insatiable.

Her perfume kept hitting him, the smell alive in the air. Light and natural notes, sweet but mildly floral. She had elegant taste to the most minute of details. Out of all the girls he'd had sex with since he'd been poppin in Hollywood, she smelled the best and her head was top tier. She dared him to look away from her pretty, messy face, but he knew better. If there was anything he was good at to the same degree as acting, it was sex and though Angel was great, he knew he was better. He refused to be shown up in either field.

But in that moment, as he was squeezing her head and simultaneously digging his thick fingers into the arm of the chair, it was a struggle to last like he was used to doing. Her aggression was about to explode him. He lifted his hips feeding himself to her as she devoured all he had.

Angel watched his control slip, his face contorting and his breathing getting louder as he gradually lost control over his body. She felt herself getting wetter just knowing that the control had shifted to her. She wanted him to cum hard and in her mouth and when he did, it was with a heavy sigh as though he were releasing a ghost. The taste of him was pleasant, something she was already adapting to having had no previous experience. Indeed, she was a virgin, but an eager and hungry one. She'd plotted for years to lose her virginity to this man.

As she cherished the oxygen hitting her lungs, she watched him breathe, spent, his head thrown back against the seat cushion. He had a fresh close cut, almost bald and he was the thickest she'd seen him since Black Panther. God bless his trainer, Corey, she thought. In a blink, he was up.

He'd leaped from the chair, recovered, and lifted Angel to her feet then into his arms. She weighed next to nothing. Perfect to manhandle. He dropped her onto into the bed and yanked her ankle flipping her quickly onto her stomach. Immediately she arched and he took a step back to admire the view. If he was half hard before after nutting.. he was fully hard now. She wiggled her ass in the air, her middle on full display.

"Do you want this ass? Come get it. Come on, Kari," she encouraged playfully.

"Damn, the government huh," he joked, his thick hands coming down hard to slap both of her cheeks before spreading them. He turned to pull a condom out, lubricated.

"Eat this pussy," Angel said a bit more directly. "I wanna feel what those lips do."

Before she could finish her sentence, his mouth was on her, his lips soft like two plush pillows. She felt those pussy pillows pinch and suck on each part of her flower, teasing and testing the sensitivity. She moaned softly as she ascended to heaven feeling his warm, long, wet tongue flatten and drag purposefully.. slowly, up her slit. The juice from his mouth mingled with her wetness as he drooled his excess saliva back onto her core. She could feel the sensation of it dripping. Long, quick laps followed, his flat tongue licking wet stripes before using the tip to strike her with precision.

He ate her cat from the back, wet noises filling the air. It sounded like a pitbull lapping water from a dish and it was what he resembled. Angel's dish overflowed with her water. Mike could feel it in his mustache though he'd shaved his beard.

"That muhfucka wet," he whispered to no one in particular, licking his lips. Her taste was still there. He let his heavy bottom lip hang as he kneeled on the bed and pushed Angel forward, scooting closer. "You gone throw it back?" He pushed Angel's back down again and her arch was immaculate. With the perfect angle he slid in and she made a noise that was a hissing groan on transition to a purr.

"When the last time you got some good dick," he asked gliding in and out, working her open like a blossom. "You the first," she laughed breathlessly before biting her lip, her small hands gripping the cover. She felt the power of his strokes knocking her forward. It was no wonder he had so many women, he had good díque and knew how to use it.

"Uh, fffffuck," she gasped, panting. It was a new and intense feeling for her but she was determined to show out and make this moment something truly special. She planted her hands firmly and threw her ass back, matching a surprised Mike stroke for stroke. She was close to coming and then she did, her rhythm breaking then ceasing. His heavy hands came down again on both of her asscheeks and he reached forward to collect her hair, pulling it to make her arch again, her head back and close enough for him to bend and whisper into her ear.

"Use my government again," he grunted hammering her into the mattress.

"Bakari," she moaned. "Now say my name."

"FUCK... Angel with the good pussy," he smiled. That was exactly how he planned to save her into his phone. Next time he was in New Orleans, he knew who to call for some good box.

Showered and redressed, Angel stepped to the door. "Anytime you want a true local to show you the city the correct way, call me, we can link."

"Where you think you going Angel with the good pussy," he smiled, the look in his eye saying to stay put. He was on his way to shower, but he had to stop to stop her from walking out. "Y'all swear I'm some fuckboy or fuck nigga.. Nooo," he shook his head dramatically before whispering, "No." Angel stepped away from the door with a smile and humored huff causing her shoulders to bounce.

"Stay put. I'm a take a shower and you can show me the city. I wanna see some crocodiles," he said quickly.

"Boy, that's Florida. Alligators are native to Louisiana. I'll take you to the swamp to see some."

"That's why you the tour guide," he pointed. "I'll be right back," he confirmed before disappearing into the bathroom.

Angel checked her phone for messages before hitting up her group chat. "Met Bakari." That was all the juice she was giving away until her little adventure ended. She could see her mentions blowing up already in the chat. Her friends knew she was in love and plotting. She was clever, driven, supermodel beautiful, and full of love to give. He didn't deserve her, but she'd chosen him and after her positive experience she was glad she had. She could hear the water running from the shower and she cut the television on to a random channel to pass the time. Angel looked around and grinned, kicking her feet, tickled. She planned to be the best tour guide in all Louisiana.

The End.. or is it the beginning? 🧐💕💕

Lmbo jk it's a one shot. Happy Birthday again baby love.

@hold-me-like-a-heart-beat  @simplyyamberr @whoramilaje  @bitemyxxx  @bonita-juanita

@eriknutinthispoosy  @blackpinup22 @thadelightfulone  @yaachtynoboat711 @youreadthatright

@inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @bidibidibombaclaat  @priya212 @romanceoftheeveryday  @muse-of-mbaku @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade  @kreolemami @myboyfriendgiriboy  @loosewindmill  @wakanda-inspired  @madbadsiren  @theunsweetenedtruth @panthergoddessbast  @allhailnjadaka @amethyst1993  @thehomierobbstark @purplehairgawdess  @supersizeme @blackpantherismyish  @drsunshine97  @thiccdaddy-mbaku  @wawakanda-btch  @killmongersprncss @imaginewhoever  @niggarachi15 @hidden-treasures21  @pupyluv247  @phoenixxx1225 @violet-ines  @indigoxsummers  @janelledarling @imasmille   @sweetsexysavagery @mermaidchansons  @destinio1  @ash-moneyy @ljstraightnochaser @forbeautyandlife @iamrheaspeaks @elle-luring @yoyolovesbucky @ilovebubblesz  @awkardlyabstract @beautifulqueenflaws  @slimmiyagi @sidneebleu@vikkidc @chaneajoyyy

#that's an mbj imagine smh #original

[aviationfiction]

XXII

Dante St. James

Exhilarating.

Intoxicating.

Addictive.

I’ve never felt anything as silky, velvety, and luscious against my skin until she meshed her supple lips into mine to create an unparalleled harmony between our mouths. The feel of her nails digging into the flesh of my neck enticed me; nearly beyond control, and I was left at her mercy as her flawless frame pinned itself to my own. Not to be outdone, I locked her into my arms and changed our positions so she was the one pinned against the elevator’s stainless steel walls instead of me. I’d poured every aspect of myself into that kiss; my tongue being the enforcer of my emotions and affections for the woman I was sharing it with. My hands relentlessly caressed, brushed over, and lightly grasped every accessible part of her, including the plumpness behind her that I so often find my staring at no matter what she’s wearing.

Time halted.

The world suddenly felt like a playground for only two souls and we’d lost ourselves into one another without care or concern of our location and it’s surroundings. In my blatant staring at Autumn as she enjoyed herself mostly with Mike and all of his antics, I realized that I undoubtedly have never set my eyes on anything or anyone more beautiful than she is. I thought I’d been a fool to believe that when I saw her for the second time as she formally greeted me at BlueStar. I’ve been to multiple countries, set my sights on mountains whether they were desert rocky or snow covered, seen the blues of the oceans, and most of all, walked amongst people from all of the world while taking in their similarities, differences, unique capabilities, and intriguing cultural backgrounds and yet this one woman superseded all of it. The essence of her soul is the embodiment of what it means to be genuine and her nurturing nature has not only entranced me, but has also been caring for my mind, body, and spirit since we’ve gravitated towards one another. She’s within my thoughts when I open my eyes every morning, implemented into my plans and schedule no matter how light or strenuous it is, and who I prefer to be around whenever time permits it…and even when it doesn’t.

I’ve seen a ton of films, read some of the greatest novels, and studied the works of the worlds greatest poets and writers. I’m not a discriminatory reader nor do I use my gender to limit my interests. I’ve taken in many different aspects of what romance is. Most importantly, I’ve had my attempts with it. Though unsuccessful, I’ve quietly sought for the undeniable heart to heart, mind to mind, and soul to soul tie to another human being who is perfectly suited for myself. In yearning for the emotional, I’ve tested out the physical aspects of it and though the climaxes came, the emptiness that followed took a blow to my gut time after time. In all of the kisses I’ve had over my nearly thirty years of living, none of them stimulated every aspect of myself in the manner that the one I had in the wee hours of this morning did. I nearly felt embarrassed as the chills followed by goosebumps, warmth followed by arousal, and the sparks followed by an endless need engulfed me and engraved the moment and her into my mind forever. A man my age was already supposed to have experienced all of that and tons more and yet here I am, nearly feeling like my purity is still in tact, and yet so pleased to know good things actually do come to those who wait.

“Yo!” I glance to the right of myself to give Mike the attention that he’d most likely been egging for for a couple of seconds and the look of confusion and agitation on his face matched the expression he’d given me just fifteen minutes ago.

“What’s up with you? You keep zoning out. This was a no for me as soon as we stepped inside. Fred’s not feeling it. Are you on board with that? Is it a no for you as well?”

He extended his arms outward to signify the space we were standing in and I turned in a complete circle to scan it’s perimeters once more and shook my head. Nothing about it drew any interest from me. Though I’m sure we could hire a contracting company for major renovations, consult with upscale interior design teams, and use our own expertise to turn this property into exactly what we’re looking for, I still don’t think it’d be enough. The square footage is odd. We pride our properties on intimacy and what we’re standing in is a social killer. Vegas is all about the glitz and glam; the grand nightclubs specifically constructed to make everyone feel like they’re someone of importance once they step past those velvet ropes. We’ve never cared for that style of ambiance and I’d rather we not start.

“Yeah, I’m on board with that decision. This is a no.”

“Cool. Let’s get out of here. I’m starving.”

“What’s new?” Mike raised an eyebrow as I took a jab at his endless hunger and he smirked.

“We’re going to find out over lunch. Nothing new is going on over here on my end, but I’m positive that you can’t say the same brother.” He glanced over at Fred for a co-sign and received exactly what he was looking when he chuckled and nodded his head as confirmation for the both of them plotting to intrude on what they’ve been curious about since this morning.

“Whatever. Lets keep it light. I’m taking Autumn out to lunch.”

“You can keep it light. I’m eating a full damn meal. You can starve until you eat with your woman if you want.”

The light chuckles between the both of them filled my ears until we were at the very front of the vacant establishment thanking it’s owner for allowing us to do a walk through on such a short notice. Though we’d make appointments with the others, we were given information about this property while viewing a spot over on West Flamingo Road. Once we gave him a call, he immediately agreed to drop what he was in the middle of handling and meet us here. Though it’s not what we we’re looking for, I respect his ethic.

“Grand Lux Cafe?”

“Fine with me.” I’d always preferred the international brand off of the Cheesecake Factory over it’s originator in the first place. The dishes were a decent spin on the best European cafes and French bistros. Whenever I’m over in Jersey at Mike’s house, we’d shoot over to the one right by Garden State Plaza and grab a meal that suited whatever the time of the day it was. He goes there so much that nearly all of the waitresses knows who he is. I’m sure his endless filtration plays a part in it as well.

“I do have a taste for those crispy Thai shrimp and chicken spring rolls. I’m with it.”

Though we could have left the car parked and walked down to the restaurant, the Vegas heat had already drained a ton of energy out of our bodies since our two hours of being out in it, so we drove. If it were up to me, I’d be in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt while maneuvering around in this dreadful weather, but I dressed up in simplistic khaki pants, a Polo golf style of shirt, and Stan Smith’s collaboration with Adidas for my footwear. It’s not the business attire I’m used to for meetings but I could have shown up in a Hawaiian style button up shirt, shorts, and a pair of sandals for all these sharks could care. Money talks much louder than anything I could ever put on my back.

“Are we going to need drinks? Between you zoning out and that flustered expression on your face, I think alcohol might be needed.”

“Man, shut up.”

“So what happened after y'all left last night?” Fredrick cut straight to it just like I knew he would. He hadn’t even picked up his menu yet.

“Damn. Can we get the drinks first? Can we order the food?”

“I already know what I want. I want a Heineken and the Pastrami Burger. If I’m not too full, I’ll get the beignets for dessert. As a matter of fact, we can get them and share those shits.”

“Okay Mr. Prepared. I’m going with the Baked Rigatoni. Mai Tai for me. Jon B, what you getting?” A smirked danced along my lips and I couldn’t help but to laugh at yet another one of his cheap jabs at my complexion. He’s about the only person that I let get away with that.

“Crab cakes. Side of fries I guess. Mai Tai for me as well.”

“Good. That shit has four rums in it and you need all four of them to take you off of the edge of whatever you and Autumn were doing in that bed.”

“Sleeping? That’s what we did in that bed, Mike.”

“Aye man. You don’t have to be modest or lie to me. It’s just me, your best friend, shit, your brother. Y'all are two grown and single people. There’s nothing wrong with the pokey pokey.” Drips of water trickled down the sides of Fredrick’s mouth area as he failed to contain his budding laughter at Mike’s ridiculousness. “From the way you were staring at her last night, I figured you were bound to go for it. You looked like your damn head was about to explode.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the what?” His question to further Mike’s antics was followed with loud laughter.

“The pokey pokey.” Before I could knock down his assumption yet again, the waitress returned to the table for our order and my talkative best friend’s flirtation. What makes it amusing is he’s never serious about it. About ninety percent of the time he’s just playing around for either a reaction or a giggle out of whichever woman is wearing her uniform skirt too short or the pants too tight. It’s been his thing to do since we were teenagers and it’s not changing any time soon. I look forward to the day when he’s married and he has to resist doing it so that his wife won’t chew his head off. I’d pay to see that sight.

“Alright, the food and drinks are ordered. Now we small talk until it’s time to eat. Dante, the floor is yours. Well, the table. What happened?”

“The driver took us back to the hotel and were just talking the whole time. Autumn had a bit more to drink than I did so she was tipsy. Not drunk. She was walking and talking just fine, no slurred speech, and literally everything she said made sense. I’ve or rather we’ve been working in the nightclub business long enough to know when a person is wasted.”

“Yeah, she was sipping those zombies moderately until Fredrick started talking to her. I saw her gulp down the last drink she had. What did you or she say?” Mike turned his head to look at him and he shook his own nonchalantly.

“We were just having a casual conversation. Trivial. It’s really not important. Dante, continue.”

“So, we walked through the lobby talking, I called for the elevator, and as soon as it came, I stepped on first. She was apprehensive; I’m assuming now that I think about it. She was standing in-between the doors for a couple of seconds, just staring at me, and I took it upon myself to grab her waist and pull her inside so the doors would close. By now, she’s standing directly in front of me and I asked her if she had a good time. She never answered that and instead mentioned that I have a high tolerance for alcohol and I admitted that I hadn’t had that much to drink. From there, I randomly started talking about the club itself and she wasn’t listening to me. I could tell because her eyes were lowered and staring at exactly what she was going to go for next; my lips. I don’t know, Fred, I felt like this jolt of astonishment, relief, lust, and need all at once. It was the wildest feeling I’ve ever experienced and I don’t know if I should feel embarrassed or crazy for saying that.” I expected a few giggles and even those witless glances between the two of them but instead they sat there in silence accessing what happened between Autumn and I just as much as I was. Fredrick slightly slouched himself down and dropped his head back in as subtle shock while Mike took a sip of his water and awaited the rest of the details.

“A peck?”

“No. It was intense and potent. My hands were exploring every aspect of her curves as I pinned her to the wall of that elevator.”

“Tongue?” Mike’s eyes widened.

“Yes, man. Feeling. Grabbing.” I gulped down the knot in my throat. “Gripping.”

“Oh shit.” Fred mustered up a small smirk and he nodded his head in pride at the last verb I’d mentioned. I still can’t believe I did that myself. My hands went from resting on the small of her back to sliding down over the thick flesh below it. My subtle aggression was the cause of her moaning against my mouth and that only further enticed me to want and need more from her. My mind had gone beyond the moment. My eyes were tightly shut closed as she savored my mouth and yet I was fantasizing about my own nibbling at the most sacred part of her flesh. That embellished black dress that was such a sight to see suddenly become nothing more than a layer of inconvenience keeping me from what I yearned and damn near ached for.

“We were so caught up in the kiss that we hadn’t realized the elevator was called back downstairs to the lobby. We left this older couple mortified. Though we pulled apart and attempted to regain our composure in record time, they were so disgusted that they wouldn’t even get on. They just waited for the next one.” They’d finally had something to laugh at and wasted no time in doing so at the expense of Autumn and my embarrassment.

“Sounds like some teenager shit man. That’s hilarious.”

“It felt like it. Shit, it felt like my mom walked in on me or something along those lines.” I couldn’t help but to chuckle about it. Maybe it was the liquor but Autumn thought it was hilarious and had I not grabbed her waist and locked her at my side, she would have continued that kiss with no regard for their presence.

“And how did she end up in your bed?”

“I invited her to come up and watch a movie since she said she wasn’t tired. We just did it in the bedroom instead of sitting out in that common area. About ten minutes into the movie, she started falling asleep so I took her boots off and pulled the covers up over her. After turning off the TV, I got back in the bed, she kissed me goodnight, and we went to sleep. Nothing sexual happened.”

“A goodnight kiss as well? Well that’s a nice touch on things. She’s pretty bold. That must have been something that she’s been wanting to do for a while and finally just decided to give in. That wasn’t liquor or some random and impulsive act. If it was, she would have been embarrassed as hell after doing it and there wouldn’t have been a movie night in your bed or a goodnight kiss. She would have left you on that elevator and went about her business.” Fredrick’s statement was what I already believed. I’d been thinking about it while readying myself earlier and making sure not to awaken her as she peacefully laid there entangled in the sheets. I could feel the tension between us as we stood there on the peak for a while talking and eventually just basking in one another’s presence on the hue of the stars. I figured it’d be unspoken for and ignored much like it’s been for a little while now because I’ve been hesitant to address that elephant in the room and I’ve doubted that she’s ready to due to all of the circumstances in her life. The concept of the right time held so much conflict and complexity until that kiss. Now I’m left to wonder what’s next.

“And that opens up the floor for the what’s next question. What’s next?”

We took a pause when our waitress approached the table with the drinks and I gulped down just about half of the Mai Tai as I used as much mental capacity as I could to figure out an answer to that question. What’s next can’t be what I want because what I want contains plenty of greed.

“I don’t know. That’s a question that I don’t know how to answer.”

“Well, what do you want? Start there. You obviously want her. That’s been obvious since damn near the beginning. So right now, at this moment, in what manner do you want her?” Leave it to Mike to continue to push for depth with difficult questions to answer.

“I don’t know. There’s a part of me that feels like what I want is understandable and justified while there’s another part of me that feels like I need to take a step back and allow her to make that decision and to take whatever time that she needs to do so. I don’t want her to feel like I’m forcing her hand or disregarding what she just went through with her ex-husband. I don’t know what she’s ready for and I’d rather not make her burdens any heavier than they already are. The last thing she needs is pressure. Maybe she’s not ready to date or be in a relationship. If that’s the case, I can’t fault her for that no matter what disappointment that may inflict upon me. I don’t know. This shit’s confusing. Maybe we can just go with the flow and see how things go. Don’t people do that when they’re trying to figure things out?”

“So you want to coast in a sense? You’d like to have something with her with no strings attached right now. There’s no commitment or title just yet, but there’s an understanding that there’s an attraction and you’re just seeing where things go.”

“That also means that we can be involved with other people. I don’t like the way that sounds.” Fredrick snickered once I shot down his analysis while Mike raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

“Possessive already? Damn. Okay, so you want an understanding and agreement that you two are exclusively seeing one another, but there’s no title on it. It’s just an understanding. That sounds better?” I took a couple of seconds to assess Mike’s version of Autumn and I’s next step and eventually shook my head.

“I don’t like the way that sounds, honestly.”

“Man, you want the commitment then. You want a relationship. You want titles; boyfriend and girlfriend. You want to be able to claim her and introduce her to people with the appropriate title and you want to be able to feel like she actually belongs to you instead of the situation you two have being up in the air because there’s nothing official about it.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Is it? I’d like to think it’s what’s right but how can I say that when I’ve yet to actually court her? I may be skipping over the actual process. Am I not supposed to allow her to feel me out over the course of a couple of dates and then make her decision? Maybe. I already feel like she’s felt me out and the time frame of dates is trivial. I can take her on a date every single day with her as my woman and court her just as much as I would if she wasn’t. None of that stops once the relationship is real. I want she and I to have a life outside of spending time together when we’re out of town due to my work obligations. I want to be able to be in New Jersey spending time with her just as much as I want her to be spending time in New York City with me. Every trip we take doesn’t have to be about business. She and Stacey are right when they say that I need a vacation, but I have no interest in traveling to some part of the world and doing so alone. That’s not a vacation; it’s isolation and I’ve had more than enough of that before Autumn made her mark. I’d also rather not feel like I can’t speak to her, see her, touch her, and show her affection unless we’re hundreds to thousands of miles away from those familiar with us by the way of relation or friendship. I may be a private person but I’m not secretive.

“No.” Their response was in unison.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Shit, just hearing that come out of your mouth is super wild to me. I’ve been knowing you forever and I’ve never heard you sound this serious or invested about anyone. If that’s what you want, tell her that. If honesty has been an importance between the two of you thus far, then keep it that way and tell her what you feel and what you’d like. People get into relationships and still have to build. Neither one of y'all are running to a chapel any time soon nor are kids on your minds, so I don’t see what the big deal is.” Fredrick made it sound so simple, like he does with just about anything. He’s so smooth that he’d make you think jumping into a lion pit is as simple as taking a walk through a park. He rarely ever sweats over anything. The last time I seen the man stress out was over some fling of his mentioning a pregnancy and that eventually turned out to be negative result. Other than that, he’s as cool as a breeze and of course he’d believe that I’m supposed to have the same outlook on life.

“But I feel like I’m asking her for too much.”

“I don’t get it. You’re asking her for a commitment. Once you’re committed to someone, there’s a title on that. The way I see it, the only way that’s a big deal to her is if she wants to explore her options. Are you saying it’s too much because you believe that’s a possibility?” I could feel my stomach beginning to churn and suddenly every sip of the alcohol felt like a shot of fire tickling down my throat. I don’t have the answer to that question either. If I’m going by these couple of months we’ve spent together, I’d only be assuming that she’s not dating anyone or even considering it because she’s never spoken with me about that. If I look at it that way, I’m going to have to include myself into the equation of her lack of consideration. Maybe she does have options or is leaving the opportunity open for someone to step in but doesn’t want to let me know that. Women tend to be discreet with their dating lives and whatever is going on within their bedrooms because of male expectations and sexist fictitious laws crafted by men to keep them on leashes while we indulge in anything of our choosing. Autumn and I share a lot but I’m not Heather or Rachel. Women will always feel like those type of conversations are better suited for a female friend of theirs.

“I don’t know. Maybe. She’s newly single. Well, technically, her ex-husband’s been out of the picture for two years, but she’s newly single in terms of not being legally tied to anyone else and aside from all that she’s gone through in the midst of those two years, I know she was waiting until she and that guy were completely done and no longer tied to one another to move on with her life.” To soothe my throat, I took a sip of water and placed the glass along side the cocktail. “That’s honorable and I respect her for that. Now that she’s gotten that out of the way, whose to say that she wants to be tied to someone else so soon, you know? Maybe she is interested in seeing what’s out there.”

“Or maybe she’s not and she wants you. It’s been two years. That’s a long ass time man. I don’t care if she was still married and I mean that in non fucked up way. The man got involved with someone else, got engaged, and that woman is pregnant with his child. That happened within two years. No offense to her and the decision that she made but she didn’t owe him that. Yeah, there was a marriage license in tact but Autumn has been single for two years. I didn’t know there’s supposed to be some trial period or some type of wait period to date after divorcing someone. What kind of shit is that? Shit, if anything, he’s lucky. She could have went up in front of a judge during the divorce proceedings and hung his ass out to dry by claiming marital abandonment.” Mike’s lawyer talk earned a snicker out of Fred and he nodded his head in agreement with all that he’d said. “Talk to her and tell her what you feel. You’re never going to know until you do. Don’t be a bitch about this.”

“Shut up. I plan to. Today. I told the both of you that I’m taking her out to lunch. I also snagged tickets to the Boyz II Men residency so I’m going to take her to see that tonight. She’s extremely into R&B and soul music dating back all the way to the fifties so I know she’ll like that.”

“Boyz II Men concert with your girl? Cute shit man.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Mike.”

“My momma tells me to always speak things into existence. Say it, claim it, believe it, then go and get it. Follow the rules pink boy. I’m speaking it into existence for you.”

“You might have to go ahead and get it for him too because I have a feeling he’s going to shrink up today.” Fredrick’s joke sparked up Mike’s annoyingly snide snicker and the both of them eyed me just to see if I would crack under the pressure. Though they’re sitting here encouraging me, that wouldn’t stop them from having a grand ol’ laugh at my expense if I do shrink up in front of Autumn this afternoon. I can admit, as Stacey as said, I’m absolutely a shark in the boardroom. I can handle business without breaking a sweat but romance? I’m an amateur. I’ve remained stagnant in that area because I’ve yet to encounter someone who mentally and emotionally impacted me to the point of wanting more, until now. Autumn is that and I’m ready to explore what it means to have a meaningful relationship. I’m never going to know if I don’t experience it first hand.

“I have it under control.”

“And don’t get drunk and end up in some Vegas chapel either. I know you’re turning thirty and she’s fine as hell but slow your roll. Y'all got time.”

“You’re going to have to chill with all of that she’s fine as hell shit.”

“She’s not your lady yet. Until she is, I’m letting these compliments blast off brother. I’ll stop when you make me stop. Good luck.”

Fredrick raised his glass in ode to me and we all shared a laugh as we eventually tapped out glasses to commemorate the positive outcome that we all seem to be hoping for. I wasn’t expecting our conversation to result in the depth that it did but to say that I appreciate the both of them would be an understatement. That was one of those big brothers and little brother moments that we occasionally share but this time it was about a topic that the both of them love just as much as any man would. I’d finally given them something outside of work and my dreadful family to be informative about and all that they said was useful. I’d been stuck in my head trying to figure it all out on my own since waking up this morning but they aided in putting it all into perspective. The only person missing is Stacey, who is an expert at getting into everyone’s head whether you want her to or not. She would have been able to assess the entire situation effortlessly, but we’ll save that for another day. When I return to New York, she’ll either show up at my apartment or the office to nag the hell out of me for the details that I know for a fact that Mike has already given her. If all goes well between Autumn and I, she’ll erupt into a ridiculously over exaggerated celebration and damn near marry me off and if it doesn’t, she’ll be there to pick me up no matter if I’m hurting or not. They’re my family and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t understand and cherish that.

“Oh and can you stay downstairs in her suite if y'all plan to celebrate with the pokey pokey? We’d rather be spared of those details.”

“Shut the fuck up Mike.”

My sweaty palms worsened during our walk through the hotel’s lobby and my ears drowned out just about everything happening around me, including yet another one of Mike’s rants about the high temperature outdoors. I considered going upstairs to our suite to truly figure out all that I would say to the woman who shook up my world in the wee hours of this morning but if I did go up there, I wouldn’t have come back down for a while and it would have resulted in me standing her up. No matter how many times I rubbed my hands down the sides of my pants and Fredrick squeezed my shoulders, I don’t think I’ll ever be as completely ready for this moment as I usually am for everything else. That’s the unpredictability of someone having partial control of your emotions. No matter what the outcome may be, I’ve already felt and learned so much. The difficult part is I’m already drawn her and the feelings that she evokes within me. Early on I feared it. Now I want nothing more than to immerse myself into her world.

“Get it together man.” I mumbled the words to myself as my knuckles tapped against the door to her suite. The taps were so minimal, I knew for a fact that she didn’t hear them. I did that for the sake of gathering my myself and finally knocked like any normal person would.

“I kind of thought you’d be back a little later. I know you all had a decent number of properties to look at.” She opened up the door with that statement already coming out of her mouth and my eyes immediately panned down to the mauve strapless romper and how it’s silhouette hugged every aspect of her curves that it could possibly cover. The floral design made it playful and yet the open back and the matching choker she wore on her neck gave it the spice that represents a part of her that tempts me like no other. Her hair being pulled back into a tight low ponytail left her breathtaking face to effortlessly outshine every other part of her and the natural make up pulled it all in for what she displays everyday: perfection.

“We saw all of them. We hated all except one which is why it went so quickly. There were some that were literal turn offs upon entry and there were others that we took our times walking through, but ultimately one of them garnered equal interest from all three of us.” I closed the door behind myself and slowly followed behind her as she headed in the direction of the master bedroom. My eyes couldn’t pull away from the sight if someone paid me their life savings to do so.

“What did you like about it?”

“It’s just about the same size as Baraya. Slightly smaller but it’s the atmosphere that we care about most. If we were interested in opening up one of those grand nightclubs like Drais, Hakkasan or Omnia, we would have done it a long time ago. We just want a place where people can actually come together and have a good meal and a good time at as well. Some choose to do either or. It doesn’t matter. It just needs to have the right vibe and that one property was near it but it needs some work.”

“Is the property worth the investment?”

“We’re still looking at the logistics but no final decisions are being made just yet. We’re going to wait it out and see if we come across anything else we favor.”

“That sounds fair enough. There’s no point in immediately investing into any property after seeing it for the first time. Take some time, look at others, check out the paper work, and come back to see it a second time as well. Is it on the strip?”

“Yeah, what you’re saying is right and it is on the strip.”

I stood in the doorway of the bedroom as she walked to and from the bathroom accessorizing herself. Her last trip inside of it resulted in her coating her lips with a nude lipstick.

“Which ones? Sandals or the Converses?” She held them up for me to see and I quickly pointed at the heeled sandals as their long laces dangled in front of her. The Converses would have been just as nice, but the heels were quietly for my viewing pleasure. They add another hundred levels to her already off the meters sex appeal.

“Did you eat anything?”

“I had a fruit parfait but in a bowl though with almonds in it. It was really good. I had it like an hour ago.” My follow up response flat lined as I watched her concentrate on carefully lasting up the sandals to her liking. There seemed to be a method to the madness that I didn’t quite understand because she was far more precise and exact than I expected her to be. When she finished and compared her second attempt, they were aligned as she needed them to be.

“We’re going to Due Forni Pizza & Wine for lunch.”

“Sounds good. It’s by here?”

“No. It’s actually like twenty five minutes away. We still have the Jeep, so I figured it’d be a nice little ride. What do you think? I can pick a place closer if you want.”

“No. I’d love to go on the ride. There’s more to Vegas than just the strip, so I’m glad you chose a place away from here.” She stood to her feet, grabbed her purse off of the bed, placed it’s strap on her shoulder, and she glanced in my direction. “Okay, I’m ready. Luckily you came here just in time for me to be ready. I didn’t have you waiting like yesterday.”

“I don’t mind waiting.”

“Yeah, right. You say that now.” Her giggle was light.

“Sexy. Very sexy.” I used my finger to point from the top of her head to the very tips of her toes and she sighed and full on laughed while shaking her head.

“You seem to think that everything I wear is sexy.”

“That’s accurate.”

“No it’s not but I can’t speak for you. All I can do is thank you. You look good yourself. I love it when you’re all suited up and yet I really love it when you’re casual. I can’t choose. That just means you look great at all times.”

“I appreciate that.”

She double checked her purse for the room key and I led the both of us our of her suite and down the hall to the elevator. Once the doors shut and confined us within the small space, I peered over at the overwhelming sight who was standing to the left of me tapping away at the screen of her phone. She has the height and figure of a runway model and yet she has this subtle thickness to her shape that truly takes form in her hips and thighs. Her legs are beyond comparison; making her stride graceful. Her facial beauty is so unique and striking; unlike anything or anyone I’ve ever seen before. She often makes fun of her forehead but it suits her so much. She has the eyes of a feline and their green color weakens me whenever I dare to stare into them. Her lips, the sight and feel of them; a dream.

God showed off with her.

“Are you going to use the valet?” My lip slowly eased from in between my teeth as she looked up at me and I quickly nodded my head.

“Yes. We have to wait in the front just like yesterday.”

Our wait wasn’t as long as I expected it to be. We stood along side one another no longer than ten minutes until the valet pulled up directly in front of the entrance. I helped Autumn into the passenger side of the car and put her seat belt on myself before getting in on the drivers side. She chose to use the Bluetooth to stream a nineties and early two thousands Hip-Hop playlist from Spotify and we were off just seconds after. Initially, we were in silence. She tapped her fingers against her lap in a nervous manner and I couldn’t fault her because I too felt the same as my hands gripped the steering wheel and my mind switch from thought to thought over and over again. Nas was our ice breaker. I took his verses of “If I Ruled The World” while she took Lauryn’s silky and infectious hook. Our heads bopped in unison while her rocking body made competition for the road. Song after song, I found myself stealing glances at her. I was paying less attention to the records and more so to her as she rapped along to literally every song. Lil Kim’s records excited her more than any of the others. I thought she’d morphed into Kim herself during her verse on Player’s Anthem. Her ponytail blew with the warm wind coming from the lowered windows and she used her hands to put emphasis on every word that came out of her mouth.

“Might have to change your name from Peaches to Lil’ Peaches.”

“Shut up! I love Kim. I was actually able to hang out with her a couple of times because she was good friends with Shane. Don’t ask me how my brother became such a good friend of hers because I truly don’t know. That man knew every damn body. He was loved.”

“Your brother had an interesting mind. It’s not surprising that so many people gravitated towards him. His book is a great read for young adults. It’s truly a guide to take you through the twenties. I appreciate that about it.” Her smile wasn’t solemn. Instead, it was one of pride and she nodded her head to confirm all that I’d said as accuracy.

“Absolutely. I remember when he was writing it. He started writing that book before he even hit his twenties. He’d hang all over New York City and have conversations with anyone he encountered to gain their perspectives on life. He was a life enthusiast and it showed in his free spirited nature. A liberal to the core too. That’s why he and Issac clashed so much. I loved everything about him.”

“I can tell he was special to you just as I know you were as special to him. He dedicated his book to you.”

“He wrote the book for me. That’s what he told me, so I’m going to have to believe it. He said to me my beautiful baby doll, this book is a guide for you to live your young adulthood to the fullest and I wrote it so you’ll know that no matter what you choose to do, I love you and it’ll be alright. I think I’m at the chapters about failure. Well, maybe I’m a little past it and getting to the part of picking back up and trekking on.”

“That’s one of the best parts.” Her eyes locked on me and she slightly dropped her head to the right.

“Of the book or life?”

“Both. Life because you’ve learned so much and you’re applying that to better yourself. There are people who don’t do that and end up creating a toxic cycle of screwing up but not you. You don’t carry yourself that way.”

“That’s true. I think for me, I don’t want anything more than to have an onslaught of joy in everything that I conquer. That’s it. Nothing will ever be perfect and I don’t want it to be because it’s not realistic and that’s boring. I like challenges. Overall, I want the joy though. Not happiness, joy. Happiness is based upon temporary pleasures and even some permanent ones, but joy is all about the sense of self. It’s true acceptance. You know, I’d say I need both.”

“Having both is a healthy balance.”

“What makes you happy?

“Currently?”

“Yes.” As I made a left into the parking lot of the restaurant I quickly glanced over at her and turned my attention back to the road. She was staring out of the window. As I awaited an answer, she turned to look at me but never opened her mouth to say anything. Instead, she unbuckled her seatbelt and awaited my next move.

“You’re not going to answer me?”

“Do I need to?” Her eyes widened a bit and she chuckled as she opened the door and hopped out of the truck. A huffed slipped past my lips as I accepted her avoidance to allow me into her head and I took the keys out of the ignition, opened the door, and stepped out. As I walked around the front of it, I used the keypad to lock the doors and Autumn playfully brushed her shoulder against my arm to garner my attention.

“It’s right here.”

“Excuse me?” I pushed the keys down into my pocket and watched as she gained a bit of a lead.

“What currently makes me happy. It’s right here.”

My smirked was nearly identical to her own and she playfully shook her head as I reached for the handle of the door and we stepped inside one after the other. The hostess seated us at a back corner booth at Autumn’s request and we settled on lemonade instead of indulging in the assortments of alcohol the bar was stocked with. She’d had enough last night and as our designated driver, I couldn’t do it.

“You know what you want?”

“Yeah. I’m getting the Spinaci pizza. It sounds so good; garlic spinach, ricotta cheese, mushrooms, peppers, and caramelized onions. You should get the Brasato pizza. Then we’ll share.” She pointed at what she was referencing to on my menu and I chuckled at her suggestion while reading over it’s ingredients.

“That actually does sound good. I’ll get it, even though it’s you who really wants it.”

“I do not. I just want to taste it.” Her eyes impishly rolled to the back of her head as I side eyed her and she nudged me in the midst of our laughter. “I’m sharing mine with you, so we’re even.”

“Yeah, okay Peaches. It’s okay to be greedy. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Whatever.” She nudged me again and her cinnamon and berry scent intoxicated me far more than any glass of wine could. When the waitress returned to the table with the drinks and took our order, silence invaded our space as she took a sip of her lemonade and scanned her eyes over our surroundings. I didn’t know whether to just come out with it or wait until her stomach was full to do so. Yet again I was left to figure out timing and this time there was no one to give me advice or a push to just go for it. It’s either now or I continue to sit around contemplating, hoping, and wishing, but never seeing results.

“Autumn.”

“Hm?” She didn’t look at me. She continued to stare at the painting to the left of herself.

“Why’d you kiss me last night?” We were close enough for me to feel her body tense up and shrink down in embarrassment. That wasn’t my intention and the sigh that came out of her mouth nearly made me cringe.

“I asked the question because I want to know if it meant to you what it meant to me.”

“I kissed you because I’d been wanting to do so for quite some time and I suppose my liquid courage knocked all of the fear out of me for just that moment and I went for it. I know it could have been in better taste but I wasn’t necessarily thinking about all of that.” She finally twisted her body so that her eyes and complete attention would be focused on me and I leaned on the table while nodding at what she explained.

“The taste was fine.” My tongue ran across my bottom lip as my nerves continued to rattle me. “You know, since the first time we’ve met I really couldn’t get you off of my mind. I thought of you after I braced you from falling, but it was non-stop after I’d seen you for a second time and truly took in all of you without you saying much of anything to me. I was baffled by your beauty but most of all, I was intrigued by your aura. Fredrick recognized you. He’d given me a bit of information that I could have found out if I Google’d you and your ties to your ex-husband but that wasn’t enough for me. It didn’t even touch the surface of what I wanted to know and still need to know. I want to say it was a mere coincidence that Isaac asked you to be my temporary flight attendant but that’d be cliche. I have faith so there had to be something more to that. That doesn’t just happen. From day one, you’ve been nothing but honest with me and you opened up and allowed me into your mind.”

“And you did the same.”

“Because you made me comfortable enough to do so. I don’t talk to many people nor do I care to share much about myself beyond who I am as a professional. Your honesty unknowingly to you was a push for me to be honest with myself and you’ve opened up the floodgates for a lot of demons that I’ve been avoiding to acknowledge. You’re making me look into myself and look for means to repair so much of the damage so that I can have that joy and happiness that you’re currently seeking.” Her infectious smile brightened up the room as it does anywhere we are and she rubbed my back in appreciation and encouragement for what I’d just revealed.

“You deserve joy and happiness. You’re too good of a man to allow those demons to get the best of you and control your destiny. It’s not worth it. You have too much life to live and too much good to come to let the past withhold you from enjoying it.”

“As do you. The thing is, right here and right now, I feel that. When I told you that I don’t think I give you enough credit last night, its because I hadn’t said any of this to you. It’s been hard to withhold this because I didn’t know when would be the right time to let you know. I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries initially and eventually it came to me not wanting to overwhelm you since I already had knowledge about what you’ve gone through. I’ve bit my tongue and even silenced myself before I went too far with my words a couple of times but that kiss gave me further ammunition to put my feelings out there. It’s beyond me liking you. I’ve liked you since we met. I want you.”

“Dante…”

“Let me finish. I don’t want you to feel pressured about any of this nor am I asking you to make a decision about me right now; not if you don’t want to. I just know that I want you and I’ve thought about what that entails and I can’t help but to want you with the appropriate title and position in your life. Maybe you just want to date me to feel me out a bit or maybe you don’t want to commit to anyone right now, which is understandable and I’d respect that but I’d like a chance. We can take it slowly in the midst of that. It’s not about me proving that I’m better than anyone or that I’m the perfect guy for you. I’d just like a chance to be along side you as your man while we live our best lives. That’s if…if you’ll have me.”

My heart thrashed against my chest after having sped up in pace word after word. Everything flew out of my mouth as quickly as it came to mind and none of it was what I rehearsed mentally throughout the course of the day. My emotions did the talking and allowed me to get it all out there to not only prove myself but to also alleviate the pressure I’d been experiencing for months. I’ve never done or said anything like that before and to live on this edge is exhilarating and frightening beyond what I could have ever imagined. No matter what she chooses, there’s no going back now and I’d never choose to do so. I’m all in. The question is, is she?

Her mouth fell agape as her nails lightly pressed into my back. The emotion in her eyes triggered the all too familiar fluttering in the pit of my stomach as I awaited what could make or break this moment.

“I’ll have you.”

I searched her eyes for any sign of hesitation but only found admiration for me. She’d chosen to soothe me by rubbing her hand against the nape of my neck just as she’d done last night but I needed more. As my arms locked around her petite frame, she leaned her head back to allow mind to align with the front of it and my lips meshed into hers in a burning hunger. It’d been such a challenge to refrain from relieving that agonizing desire for quite some time now and early this morning only served as a tortuous teaser. I had the urge to kiss her as soon as I opened my eyes and turned over to look at her. I fought it while readying myself to leave and also forced myself to refrain from awakening her for one as we were preparing to walk out of the door. In between my thoughts of this moment and how I’d go about it, her lips were embedded into my every thought and I could only fantasize about the moment when I’d be able to feel them against mine once again. The difference between the kiss we shared hours ago and now is the seal of our commitment to one another and the security in knowing that this is my reality now and I can share this kind of intimacy with her whenever I want.

“This is okay? You don’t mind public displays of affection?” Our lips met again after she’d gotten her question out and I quickly shook my head in the midst of the peck.

“No.” Her hand locked around the nape of my neck with subtle aggression and the moment only intensified when the both of her lips wrapped around my bottom one. I couldn’t help but to grab her thigh and draw her closer to my frame as she marked her territory by running her tongue across it and sucking it into her mouth. Yet again, the world seem to center around us and nothing else mattered; barely even the waitress who placed the two pizzas down on the table for us to consume.

“I’m so speechless right now. I can’t believe you said any of that.” The flustered smile on her face turned into a bit of a blush and my fingers lightly ran across her cheek in yet another gesture of my admiration for her beauty and essence.

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t think I was your type. I nearly wanted to kick myself in Paris when I finally began to admit to myself that I had feelings for you. Even this morning, I woke up and I was literally panicking because I thought that I’d truly crossed the line; so much to the point that I called my brother and quit.” My eyes widened as she revealed the last bit of information and she chuckled while nodding her head to confirm it as the truth.

“I called him back and fixed that long before you came to my room, but the first thing I could think of was to call him and create a barrier between myself and the potential embarrassment that would have happened if I wasn’t what you wanted.”

“You forgot that I was just as much into that kiss as you were?”

“This morning? Absolutely. All I kept thinking was that my drunken self pounced on you.”

“Well, you did…but I like it.” Our laughter rang out in the small corner that we were sitting in and she nudged me with her shoulder while shaking her head.

“Our first kiss could have been better though, don’t you think?”

“Nah, I liked that one.” Her shoulders dropped as she huffed and a smirk formed on her face as she reached to grab a piece of my pizza. The warmth of her body meshed with my own as she leaned into me and I leaned in to give it a try just as she had.

“I’ve been trying to show you that you’re my type ever since we met. Though I wasn’t verbal with it, in all the time that we’ve been spending together, there has been nothing more that I’ve been looking forward to other than that. I had my fears too baby. I thought I was out of your league initially. I didn’t think I’d be interesting enough for you.”

“I don’t know how. I was intrigued by you from the beginning.”

“I guess we were both so caught up in our fears, insecurities, and hesitance that we didn’t take the time out to actually pay attention to the signs that we were giving one another nor did we act on them…until now. The kiss aside, I’d been thinking of ways to ask you out on a date and I planned to do so after you returned to the east coast from Heather’s wedding festivities. I couldn’t wait much longer than that. Also, I didn’t want some guy out here to swoop in and ruin my chances because then I would have had to fight.”

“Oh, please!” She could barely chew on the bite she’d taken as she snickered. Immediately after she swallowed it down, her lips pecked mine.

“Can I be honest with you about something?”

“Anything.”

“When my ex and I got involved with one another we kept it to ourselves for the most part. Heather sort of knew about us but I was very limited with the information I gave her because it was a risky situation and I think me being young and so caught up into it, I enjoyed the thrill and adrenaline rush of being with him though it had the potential to be problematic. My family didn’t find out about Andreas and I until everything leaked out into the media and it was an ugly situation. There was a lot of fighting involved between my family and I and his mother had such a distaste for me. I chose a side and it was Andreas’. Once he took the Miami Heat coaching contract, I decided to leave UCLA and go to Miami with him because we agreed that we were going to get married. The only person who met him was Shane and it stayed that way. Even when I decided to take a breather two years ago, he never showed up to be with me during the mourning of my brother’s death or when I had the stroke. He was wrapped up in the NBA season and didn’t want to take a leave of absence. By the time he decided that he was going to come, I told him not to and the next thing you know, divorce papers were being served to me on a gloomy Friday morning.” She took a sip of her lemonade while allowing me to take in all that she’d said and I did my best to quickly understand what she was getting at.

“So no one other than Shane met him?”

“Right and that left a bad taste in all of their mouths. I skipped Isaac’s wedding because they didn’t want him there. They warned me not to bring him and I opted out of being apart of it and attending for the sake of my husband. That started a lot of tension between my brother and I and that tension is still very much between us currently. I fear what his reaction to us will be because you’re his client and he respects you for all that you are as a man but most of all as a professional. I’m nothing but the little sister who he believes is irresponsible, erratic, and childish. He’s disappointed in me because I left school and married young but overall, I think he truly resents me for choosing Andreas over him and he’s yet to let up on it. Now I’m with you. It’s tough.”

“Did you apologize to him for it? I’m not saying that you have to regret the decision you made but sometimes an apology works.”

“I do regret not going, honestly. I believe that could have been a moment for my family and I to make amends for all of the drama but instead, I reacted in a spiteful manner because I believed they were doing the same thing to me. I should have been there to support him but I refused. Hell, that was the first time I told Shane no. Now, I’ve yet to apologize to Isaac because we fight and his insults only make me want to insult him without a filter. He’s verbally vicious when he wants to be and he’s a pompous asshole the majority of the time. We clash a lot so I avoid him for the most part. So when it comes to you and I, that’s why I avoid displaying our personal connection in front of him. I can only imagine his reaction to it and if that man makes some type of assumption that I’m screwing you for what you have or that I’m involving myself with you in order to be spiteful towards him, my reaction’s not going to be one of my better moments.” Though the background situations differ, I can absolutely understand her strained relationship with her brother because I have one with my own and we’ve had the riff between the two of us ever since we were kids. In him being my older brother, I did crave for him to take me under his wing and be an influential figure in my life when I was past the toddler years but the more Matthew figured out where I came from, what happened between our father and his mother, and why his family dynamic changed, the more he pushed me away and lashed out in manners that I’d yet to understand. Richard eventually pitted he and I against one another and of course he favored Matthew because he owed it to him to do so; as did my mother. Despite all of that, I don’t think I truly took a disliking to my brother until they shipped me off to London for boarding school. It was at that point that I felt like an orphan. I still feel like one.

“You want me to talk to him?”

“No, of course not.”

“Autumn, I don’t want to hide. I want this to be as real and as normal as possible. I don’t want to creep around with you because we have no reason to do so. There’s nothing dishonorable happening here. We’re two people who took an interest in one another and developed a bond that has now turned into a relationship. What I do for a living and what you currently do for a living has nothing to do with that. You don’t ask me for anything but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going look out for you and look after you.”

“You don’t have to do all of that.”

“But I will because it’s what I want to do. I don’t want to have to hide that either. I want to meet your family because that’s where you currently reside and if I should want to come to pick you up, I’d hate for them to be surprised or confused. I don’t think you want that either. Why take them through that all over again? If you discuss it with your family, I believe that all will go well because it’ll be a much better approach than the one you took before and they’ll take it seriously. If you want me there for it, I’m in. You’ll meet my family too.” As she pulled her lip in between her teeth, she nervously nodded. “I don’t want to hide baby.”

“You want me to meet your family?”

“If I could avoid and hide you from the dysfunction that is my shitty family forever, I would. I can’t though. Richard has eyes and ears all over the place. So yes, in some type of manner, I’d like you to meet my family.”

“They can’t be that bad.” If she only knew what she was talking about. I’d like to believe that too but they’re fucking horrible as far as I’m concerned. No one deserves a set of parents like mine. They may have made sure I had luxuries and an expensive education but I would have easily traded that in for their love and moral support throughout my childhood. I wanted a soccer mom and one of those overbearing fathers who coached from the sidelines during their kid’s games. Though I had damn near perfect grades, I still wanted someone scolding the hell out of me and threatening to take away my favorite toys and game systems if my report card didn’t come in looking good. I wanted my mother to teach me how to treat a woman while my father schooled me on safe sex. I want to be assured that I was loved and cherished enough to turn to them for anything but I wasn’t. Aside from my uncle being there for me when he could, I raised myself.  

Autumn picked up and bit into another piece of the pizza that I was barely eating and lightly moaned in satisfaction. She hadn’t even touched hers.

“So my pizza is better than yours greedy?” She nearly choked on the piece she was chewing as she cackled against my shoulder. Though I hadn’t touched much, I could admit the braised short rib, calabrian peppers, red onions, and chinchurri were quite a taste.

“It’s so good and you’re not even eating it.”

“What are going to do with yours? You’ve yet to touch it.”

“Midnight snack, of course. I’ll save you some of yours.” I could actually picture her sneaking a piece of pizza and laying around on the couch watching some show of hers. She receives more pleasure from dough, marinara sauce, and cheese than I’ve ever seen anyone else have.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Enjoy it. You taste my pizza, I taste your lips. Deal?” Before she could take another bite, she gleamed in happiness and quickly leaned in.

“Deal.”

As her lips covered mine, she slowly ran her tongue across the slit of my own and I swiftly opened my mouth and permitted her warm tongue it’s entry. She granted me the best of both worlds within that moment.

I want this feeling forever.

A roar of laughter filled the twenty third floor of the Venetian without regard for the resting residents or the hour of the early morning. I inhaled the sweet scent of my woman’s body as my arm remained locked around her shoulders. Her right hand tightly intertwined with mine while her left held a frozen margarita she’d gotten as we randomly walked along the strip. It turned into a spontaneous outing after having an incredible time sitting front row and watching Boyz II Men literally serenade her song after song. Though she wasn’t the only woman within reach, she quickly became the target of Nathan Morris’ vocal affection and it didn’t stop at the direct singing. Even though they were supposed to be giving out roses to random women in the audience during their famous hit “I’ll Make Love To You”, both Nathan and Shawn seemed to return to Autumn multiple times which resulted in her having a damn bouquet worth of red roses to swoon over while singing along to the song as I fought the urge to stick a leg out and trip the both of them while they made their way back to the stage.

It was the dress. Actually, no, it was the entire package with the dress simply being the subtle enhancer. She looked like some mythical goddess of the sea as she confidently stood along side me all night long in an apricot colored mid-thigh length dress that was interestingly and intricately crafted like a coral reef all over. It’s deep v-neck opening and backless additions furthered the appeal and what damn near blew my mind were the matching platform sandals that covered her feet. I’d never seen anything like it on anyone before and she informed me that the Alexander McQueen pieces were just more old garb that had been collecting dust in her Miami closet for a couple of years. She was supposed to wear it to Adrienne Bosh’s birthday party but ultimately opted out of attending. Thankfully she didn’t, because it would have been a sight that I would have never gotten to see and my God, it’s one that no one should ever have to miss. It’s was what had the members of the nineties R&B group damn near drooling and also what caused her to be showered with dozens of compliments as we walked along the strip joking about the most trivial topics. Lastly, aside from my emotions being on an never ending and elated high, her choice in attire for our night out together played it’s part in my unabashed antics in being all over her. What I’d grimace and turn the other way over whenever I’d see couples out in public doing it, felt so natural and fulfilling to me tonight. Stacey would always tell me that when it’s real, you’ll know and I would quickly dismiss she and all of her soap opera dramatics, but I owe her now. I might not tell her how right she’s been because the gloating would be unbearable, but I’ll figure out a way to give her some form of credit.

“I put down my Boyz II Men roses when we got the drinks and I forgot them. I’m shitty.” After inserting her key card into the door, she waited for the green light to appear and opened it up for our entry.

“You had those old men trembling in their Depends.” As she walked towards her bedroom, once again we were joining one another in laughter. While she tossed her bag on the bed, I finished off what was left of my drink and disposed of the plastic cup. Autumn bought the drinks with earnings from her random luck at a penny slot machine she decided to play with while I took a phone call from Richard. She spent less than five dollars and walked out of that casino with five hundred dollars in her purse. Her win was far more hilarious than exciting to the both of us. She wasn’t even eager to win and it was clear that she didn’t know what she was doing since she’s never gambled before. Her curiosity got the best of her for the few minutes my attention wasn’t completely hers and the cards or should I say slots aligned for her.

“The show was so good though. Thank you for taking me. I love me some Boyz II Men.”

“You’re welcome Peaches. I figured you’d like it since you’re an old soul and all.” Her platform sandals were next on her agenda. While sitting on the edge of the bed, she unbuckled them one by one and carefully removed them from her feet.

“You say that like Boyz II Men aren’t during your time. You’re hitting thirty in a month old man. Speaking of, what do you want for your birthday?”

“Nothing.” As she stood up, her eyes playfully rolled to the back of her head.

“I figured you’d be difficult. I’ve been trying to think of a good gift for a few weeks now and I have ideas but I’m not sure which route I’m going to take. Give me a hint of something you’d like.”

“I like you.”When she huffed, her eyes repeated the gesture once more and a smirked danced along her perfect lips. As I stood in the door way, she inched closer until we were face to face and used her pointer finger to poke my chest.

“You have me and I’m not all that. Be serious.”

“You are all that and I’m being serious.” My chuckle forced her to cut her eyes. “But uh…maybe you, food made by you, in some place chosen by you? That sounds nice.”

“Me?” My eyes widened as an expression of curiosity arose on her face and I quickly threw my hands up in an honest defense.

“Not like that. Not like that. I mean you as in your presence, not you as in something else. You as in you.” The nervousness that arose within the pit of my stomach and eventually made it’s way to my face was an amusing sight for her to witness and she didn’t hold back from giggling while slightly holding her head to the side.

“I’ll take that into consideration. You staying down here tonight?”

“I can?” I hadn’t expected that invitation. Did I want it? Sure.

“Yes. I have an extra bedroom. Make yourself comfortable. We have a flight to take in a couple of hours.” I took a step back and my mouth fell agape as, I too, joined her in amusement.

“I can’t sleep in here with you?”

“Nope. You said that we’re taking things slowly. Remember?”

“I did say that but I didn’t mean this slow. We slept in the same bed upstairs.”

“I didn’t know there were guidelines. You said slow.” The teasing within her tone and the sultriness of her stance were on the verge of driving me up a wall and yet I could do nothing but stand there and allow her to have that power because I liked it.

“Platonic sleeping is slow.”

“Platonic sleeping? Ha! That’s a new one. Sweet dreams.” The kiss she planted on my lips worsened the fire already burning within me while the sight and sound of her bedroom door closing served as the extinguisher to put me out.

“Goodnight! You got that teasing shit from that show at Crazy Horse. I’m never taking you there again.” Like she’d been doing since we left out for our night out on the town, she cackled loudly enough for me to hear and I could still hear it as I made my way across her suite to the second bedroom.

I’m alright with slow.

I’m alright with whatever she needs from me.

But damn Autumn.

According to the pitch blackness surrounding the bedroom and the eerie silence that was cause for my eyes panning back and forth, I hadn’t been sleeping long. I removed my clothes a half an hour after lounging on the bed and answering e-mails that I’d received from A&M. Richard already informed me about the mandatory meeting happening within a day and the company luncheon that is to follow directly after but it didn’t stop the five reminder e-mails from coming my way. We’re hosting intern seminars and I’m scheduled to speak at three out of five of them. Matthew’s doing two. The only reason he summoned he and I to speak and then to observe is because our latest batch of interns is compiled of far more women than men. His knack for enticing interns is unmatched. After a week in the New York office, I’m off to the London office for a couple of days and then it’s back to New York for the MoMA Party in the Garden. This year’s event is being underwritten by Cartier. In the midst of trying to mentally access and properly pan out what had been added to my schedule, I nodded off to sleep.

Three hours. I only slept for two hours and it seems like I’m not the only one to have done so. I could hear Autumn’s footsteps pacing the floors as I laid in silence for the past couple of minutes. I mentally followed along with her every move until she surprisingly opened up the door to where I was resting. I could see her poking her head inside but it was clear that she didn’t know I was awake and it made me smile. Her next move was to step inside and quietly close the door behind herself. Her tip toeing nearly made me burst into laughter and flutters filled my core as she climbed into the bed on the left side.

“Slow huh?” She flinched at the sound of my choice and my laughter followed as she dipped down until her head hit the pillows.

“Why are you awake?”

“I just woke up. Why are you awake?”

“I never went to sleep. Couldn’t sleep.” As she slightly turned, I reached for her arm and pulled her to the middle of the bed and slid over until I was there with her. I left it up to her to pick a position and she chose to throw a leg over mine and mesh into my side until her head was resting between my neck and shoulder. We shared a peck once I turned my head and my arm rested over her back.

“Sweet dreams.” While my hand caressed her back, I listened to the sound of her breathing until it slowed to signify her slumber.

I didn’t have the urge to sleep.

No dream could be better than my current reality.

There’s no way possible.

#j. cole fanfic #j cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction #j cole fanfiction #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #rihanna fanfic #rihanna fanfiction

[monkeesimagines]

Carlisle Wheeling, Chapter 9

The party was set up aroung the backyard swimming pool, and a light shined on the bandstand that had been placed for the night.  Mike shooed away the band and took over the microphone.  “Hey, y'all, thanks for coming.  As you know, this is Y/N’s and my tenth anniversary."  He had to wait for the cheers and applause to die down.  "Thank you.  Hey, how ‘bout another, special round for Y/N?”

You blushed as the crowd cheered and applauded in your honor.  You muttered a few words of thanks as the noise died down.

Davy, the cheeky one, piped up, “She deserves it, having had to put up with you all these years.”

There was some scattered laughter.

Mike gave Davy a sardonic smile.  “I don’t know- Limey the Lip might have a point, for once."  More laughter.

"Years ago,” Mike continued, “when we were first married, and before that, when we were dating, Y/N used to sit and listen whenever I wrote a new song.  And then The Monkees started, and… well, usually I just never had time to run one by her before putting it on the record.

"So this is a song I wrote last night, and it’s still kinda rough.”

“That’s okay, Mike,” Micky said.  He had that big, goofy grin that meant he was about to crack a wise one.  “I brought earplugs if I need them.”

People were laughing even before he had finished.  Then Peter commented, “I hope you brought enough for everybody."  More laughter.  Everybody knew none of the guys meant anything serious by their teasing.

"Anyway,” Mike said, “I wrote a little song here about her- about us, about our life together- and it goes something like this:”

In a long and involved conversation with myself, I saw precious things come into view. And I pored through the files taken off my mental shelf, And dusted off some memories of you.

I thought about the time When our affair was green, How the phoenix of our love First flapped its silver wings, All the urgency and passion Of each new day as it happened, And how it all mellowed as it grew.

I remembered the times that our laughter would explode, And how you would turn to hide your smile. And the hours of silence while a perfumed candle glowed, And both our thoughts meandered off for miles.

I remembered the time I said I really had to go, I remembered the tears That filled your eyes. Then I touched your hand and told you That it really was a lie, And though you never knew it, dear, I cried.

It’s amazing how time can so softly change your ways And make you look at things that can’t be seen, How the years that roll by can start you listening, Not just to what they say, but what they mean.

So forgive me, my dear, If I seem preoccupied, And the razor edge of youth-filled love Is gone, But we’re both a little older, Our relationship has grown, Not just in how it’s shaped, but how it’s shown.

So forgive me, my dear, If I seem preoccupied, And the razor edge of youth-filled love Is gone, But we’re both a little older, Our relationship has grown, Not just in how it’s shaped, but how it’s shown.

After his song finished, the crowd was silent for a moment.  Many of them had tears in their eyes.  You had tears streaming down your face, because you recognized all the moments in the song that he had mentioned.

Someone started clapping slowly, and everyone else joined in.  The applause was louder and longer than for anything else that night- including the hired band’s act.  Everyone there was married or had been married or had been involved in some relationship that had lasted long enough that they all understood what Mike’s song had meant.

Mike was beaming, at the crowd, and at you.  He said “thank you” a half dozen times, and then he laid his guitar aside and held his hand out to you.  You looked at him quizzically for a moment, and then you realized what he wanted, and you backed away, shaking your head, embarrassed.  “Come on up here, babe,” he insisted, beckoning.  You finally took his hand, and he helped you up on the stage.  With your hand clasped in his, the two of you faced the crowd.  You followed Mike’s lead, raising your hands in the air and taking your bows.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of lights and music as Mike danced with you, waltzing to songs that were way too fast for a waltz.  But Mike had always danced to the beat of his own drum, and with his arms around you, you danced with him, laughing as you tried to decide whether to follow the music’s beat or your husband’s feet.

And soon you began to wish the guests would leave, so you and Mike could be alone…

Mike looked at you closely as he twirled you around.  You were wearing the form-flattering black dress he’d bought you that day, and light makeup, just enough to bring out the shape of your lips, the glow in your cheeks, the light in your eyes-

He looked again.  No, he wasn’t mistaken.  The sparkle was back.  And looking into your eyes, he saw that you were as beautiful now as you were the day he married you.  No, actually, you were more beautiful, because you were more mature now.

Mike felt that wonderful warm glow in his heart, and it spread through the rest of his body, filling every cell from head to toe, making him feel warm even as goosebumps rose on his arms.  He smiled at you, his eyes hooded, and he became impatient for the guests to leave so he could get you upstairs…

#Mike Nesmith Fanfic #mike nesmith #submission

[lesbianmikewheeler]

talk at length about y'all's plans to move TSTC forward with ST2 on the horizon! :p

okay this is going to get a little winded but bear with me. so i have never been more confident of TSTC as i have been after viewing that trailer. i’m just going to bring up the points that i feel like are most prevalent, and will expand upon them with the emergence of new material and/or arising questions. 

SO. the promo. here’s what we got going on.

THE NEW MONSTER

IT’S A GODDAMN HUGE ASS SPIDER. which is interesting comparing it to last season’s lead monster, the flower-headed demogorgan. according to the theory that the demogorgan represents compulsory heterosexuality and homophobia (because it’d be stupid if the monster on a horror show didn’t MEAN anything so obviously thats what the demogorgan means), it’s interesting to see the s2 monster being incorporated as a HUGE ASS SPIDER that seems to be haunting will specifically. lily @bellsamy has suggested (possibly as a joke but i choose to believe in her integrity) that this monster and the s1 monster may be man and wife and that the spider (wife) may be seeking vengeance on the children on behalf of her mate, furthering the metaphor of the evil constraints and violence enacted on today’s youth by compulsory heterosexuality. 

beyond that, the traditionally feminine-coded nature of both beasts (flowers for the demogorgan, the monstrously female code of spiders) is an interesting spin on how their nature itself is horrific for the children and their gender identity. the flower-headed demogorgan straight up destroys eleven kills barb and poisons will, the most gnc and queer-coded characters on the show, and nancy and jonathan (lesbians) spend the majority of the showing attempting to ‘kill’ this manifestation of toxic femininity to no avail. meanwhile, the younger girls of the show (mike, lucas, dustin) are shown to be helpless in the face of its power. by reincarnating the force as an even larger and more destructive SPIDER, which already has existing implications in poison, shadow, and to a degree the feminine wiles, its influence over the tiny lesbeans will, mike and eleven is already shown to be tremendous, with its effects on the teenagers yet to be seen.

THE DISTRESSED GIRL

there’s been a lot of debate over who this very upset person in the rapidly moving cut is

with general consensus being that its either mike or eleven. i’m pretty sure it’s mike, but honestly the fact that i can’t tell them apart is just more hard TSTC evidence. whats more futch lesbian than it being impossible to distinguish one half of the couple from the other

GHOSTBUSTERS

so we’ve got the core three in their ghostbusters getup throughout the promo and can i just say?

after 2016 was literally the year of turning ghostbusters into lesbian icons? i do not think this is a coincidence. this is straight up deliberate. or should i say, lesbian up deliberate.

THE WORLD IS TURNING UPSIDE DOWN

that’s the new tagline and it sounds queer to me folks

AND FINALLY, INITIAL PROMO SHOT

they’re literally telling us all we need to know right there

so! while you may feel tempted to thank the duffer brothers for this monumental shift in television history, they deserve no praise. instead, reach out to me, win @alisounbechdel, sam @thestateonmtv, finn wolfhard, millie bobby brown, gaten matarazzo, charlie heaton, winona ryder, and the rest of the stranger things cast with thanks, praise, and questions about what will no doubt be a lifechanging experience on Halloween 2017.

#thestarryskiesofpalaven #asks #TSTC #okay to reblog in fact im begging you to reblog this