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#yeah okay and where should i fucking take it??
cheriladycl01 · 2 days
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They do be comfy tho! - Lando Norris x Pregnant! Reader
Plot: You try hide your pregnancy through Lando's large array of hoodies.
Credit to 4and55 for the GIF
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You sat in the bathroom crying your eyes out. You'd been feeling sick recently and didn't think the plane journey all the way to Las Vegas would be a good idea.
So you stayed behind while Lando went racing, you were now looking at the positive test in your hand.
You knew exactly when it was, it was. It was after his first race win in Brazil... you guys weren't as careful as you should have been.
"Fuck" you cried leaning your head against the wall of the bathroom, tears streaming down your face. It wasn't that you didn't want kids, or that you didn't want them with Lando it's just that you both agreed now wasn't the best time where he was in the height of his career.
You didn't know what to do, the only person you could think to call was Oscar's girlfriend Lily who you'd become best friends with ever since you met her at her first race appearance.
You waited while the phone rung, and rung until the line opened.
"Lily?" you sob into the phone but it's silent.
"Lily please, i need you!" you cry a little more.
"Y/N?" a male voice you knew too well answered. It was Oscar.
"Oscar?" you ask.
"Yeah, it's me Lily's just in the bathroom i didn't want it to go to a missed call!" he says before you here Lily ask who it is.
"Please Oscar, just hand me over to her" you say, Oscar could tell you were crying and he wanted to know what was wrong more than anything. He handed over the phone to his girlfriend with a worried look who answers right away.
"Y/N?" she asks with concern in your voice.
"Can you be alone right now, like without Oscar?" you say with labored breaths.
"Yeah, he's just leaving to get ready for FP3, weren't you babe!" she smiles giving him a look that tells him to leave.
Oscar, stops outside the door with a small panic.
What does he tell Lando?
Does he tell Lando?
He really had no idea what to say. Did he tell Lando that his girlfriend just got a call from Lando's girlfriend and he answered and she wa sobbing.
Would this make Lando spiral and have a bad race.
"Y/N please tell me what's happened!" Lily says back in Oscar's driver room.
"I'm pregnant" you sob and Lily's eyes widen.
"Congrats?" Lily says awkwardly and you just sob harder.
"Okay okay I'm sorry! I don't know what to say. How can i help!" she asks.
"I don't know, I think i just needed to tell someone!" you sniffle.
You continue to talk to Lily until she needs to leave to go watch Oscar and you agree you should probably watch Lando.
You walk past your shared room with Lando in your Monaco flat seeing one of his hoodies laying over the chair. You grab it and pull it over.
You spend the rest of the weekends watching shitty romcom's until you get a text from Lando.
Lando: I'm coming home, now
And that sent you into a full on spiral. Did Oscar or Lily talk and tell him, was hen angry at you...
Until he got home you were a nervous wreck having a ball of anxiety in your stomach.
"Baby?" Lando calls as he goes through the front door looking around for you. You were sat on the sofa, curled up in his lavender hoodie from his Quadrant range.
He walks in seeing you sat there, tears in your eyes as your trying not to look at him.
"Baby, look at me tell me why Oscar told me you called Lily in floods of tears... what's happened!" he asks, kneeling down in front of you trying to catch your gaze but you refused to look.
"Baby come on" he sighs. You take his hand, before standing up and walking him to the bathroom and showing him the test.
"Is this what I think it is?" he asks looking between the stick and you. You just nod, no words coming to your mouth.
"Baby, this is amazing! I know timing isn't great but i'll be here for you and them! I promise!" he says pulling you into a tight hug. He spent the whole evening talking to you about everything.
"You aren't leaving me?" you asked with a small sniffle.
"Baby, of course not... is that why you called Lily crying?" he asks with a frown and you nod.
"I was just worried, I know Mclaren have a really good car this year and that you and Oscar are a good team and we are still really young!" you admit and he nods.
"We are, but it's not anything we can't handle together..." he says pulling you in for a kiss, holding your hips before they snake up your body to get to the back of your neck.
"I love you so so much" he sighs leaning his forehead against yours, his eyes open watching you eyes.
"I love you too!" you sigh, all that built up anxiety just leaving and releasing from you.
"I don't think we should tell anyone but family" you say looking down and he frowns, not sure what you mean.
"Your going to stop coming to my races?" he asked, obviously he knew towards the end of your pregnancy you wouldn't be able to do the flight but right now you'd be safe and healthy to fly.
"No of course not! As long as we are on a jet I should be fine, why wouldn't eye?" you ask tilting your head in confusion.
"Well, baby ..." he gulps and you nearly start to laugh wondering where he's going with this.
"In a pregnancy you are growing a whole other human inside of you, so you'll ... you know get bigger?" he says as if its more of a question to you than anything.
"Yes, I'll have a bump" you giggle, placing his hand on your currently flat stomach.
"But you don't want to tell anyone? People will start to find out when they see it honey!" he laughs, rubbing your hips and stomach.
“I’ll just cover up with your hoodies” you say showing Jake how you look now.
“Mmmm my hoodies can only go so far” he laughs.
And that was the truth, you struggled in the heat in the hotter countries and ended up getting too big for even Lando’s hoodies.
Someone on twitter had got a picture of you, at an angle where Landos hand gripping your made the loose hoodie grab around your growing stomach and people started to go wild.
So you guys went to Instagram of course.
landonorris
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landonorris: Yes Y/N is pregnant! We are both very happy and she’s currently 7 months along and we are expecting in July and cannot wait to meet our little girl!
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y/user: I love you so much. I wouldn’t want to experience this journey with anyone else! 🧡🫶🏼
mclaren: Papaya Baby incoming 🧡🦁 Congrats Lando!
oscarpiastri: congrats man!
lilyzniemer: she’s such a pretty mumma
-> y/user: stop it!!!! 🫶🏼🧡
Taglist:
@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v
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hearts4chriss · 15 hours
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𝑹𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉!𝑫𝒐𝒎 𝑩𝑭!𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 + 𝑺𝒖𝒃!𝑷𝒐𝒄 𝑮𝑭
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𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡!𝐃𝐨𝐦 𝐁𝐅!𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐒𝐮𝐛!𝐏𝐨𝐜 𝐆𝐅
There’s no doubt this man is ROUGHHH when having sex.
He’s overprotective of you especially when you guys are out and you’re wearing something short and tight.
he hates when you tease, which normally results in him fucking ur brains out.
His favourite thing to do to you when you’ve either, pissed him off, teased him or didn’t do what he asked is edge you.
He gets off watching you beg to cum as he pounding into you with no mercy.
“N-no Chris! Please l-let me cum!”. You’d cry out, already shaking from the previous times he’s edged you.
“Shouldn’t have been acting like a little slut today and you would’ve cum 4 times already”. He groans deep in ur ear continuing to ruin you.
Definitely fucks you in the bathroom at the party and leaves you with cum dripping down your leg.
Leaves you shaking every time, he won’t stop until he feels you either learned ur lesson or he made you feel good.
Loves the sound ur ass makes when he’s fucking you from behind, he’s always touching it, Grabbing it, slapping it all of the above that man loves your ass
Will leave you marked up in hickeys all over ur thighs, tits, inner thighs, as a reminder of whose girl you are incase you forget.
Definitely chokes you while your in missionary / fucking you from behind.
Pulls ur hair but neverrrr where he hurts you
Made sure to establish a safe word
Degrading is his favourite thing, he loves it.
“Fuck- such a little slut, keep making those noises for me yeah?”.
“God ur pathetic, about to cum already?”.
Don’t even get started on dumification.
“Such a dumb whore, fucked out on my cock”.
“Aww look at you, all fucked out from how good I’m making you feel”.
“Wow, I thought you couldn’t get any louder, god you whore”. He’d say this while also trying not to moan because as much he’d never admit it, he loved how you wrapped around him perfectly.
he’d always be quick to remind you who you belong to Like THATS HIS GIRL ( he’s also hella jealous so he’d take you laughing at one of matts jokes, than he’d walk in and thinks your flirting. )
“Your mine right? Or should I call Matt? Seemed to be all over him”.
“can. He. Fuck. Better. Than. Me?”. He’d say all this while thrusting harder in between each word.
“Yeah keep moaning my name baby, let all the neighbours know whose girl you are”.
BIG BREEDING KINK LOVES CUMMING INSIDE YOU
“fuck ma- gonna stuff you with my cum- you’d like that wouldn’t you?”.
“gonna fill your pretty pussy up- shit-“.
The sight of your juices mixed with his could get him off any day
Has a hidden photo album of pictures of you post sex and videos of you screaming his name. Don’t even get me started on the my eyes only.
Loves cockwarming, typically after aftercare he always wants to be close to you.
Despite how rough he is during sex, that man ALWAYS takes care of you after.
Right after you both finish after hell, how many rounds? He’s quick to check on you and sometimes worried he went too far.
“hey baby, you okay? Was it too much?”.
“shh i got you, gonna take care of you now ok?”.
“You did so good for me pretty girl”.
He immediately run you a warm bath with your favourite bath bombs.
He’d clean you up first because he can wait, he’d rather have you feel better than him.
You’re super sensitive after sex so he always takes his time, staring on ur inner thighs first.
“Let me know when it’s too much ok?”.
Despite you secretly loving the rough sex, and you both established that, he would always reassure you.
“Your so pretty yk that?”. He would whisper while helping you in the bath.
“my girl, how’d i get so lucky”.
“Oh and ur definitely not a whore or s-“.
“Chris, baby, I’m okay don’t worry about it”. You’d giggle tiredly playing with the soap.
“I know but ur covered in hickeys like everywhere”. He’d scratch his head.
“Chris please ur back has seen better days”.
He’d go change the sheets to fresh clean ones fresh in the dryer.
Typically you’d want to sleep after so he played those calm noises you like and a glass of water.
right after you dried off with the help of him as you could still barley process what happened, you’d sleep in a shirt of his and a pair of panties.
You’d fall asleep once immediately in the warmth of his arms.
“There you go, sleep well baby”.
tag list ☆
@mattsleftnipple03 @sturniolopowers s @gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog @blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chris-deactivated2024040 @nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @vicsguitarr @ast3ro1dzz @sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva @braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @imaslut4kehlani @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @gamermattsgf @lilyloveschris @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @ineedchriscock @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @nickgetsmewetter @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris
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drenosa · 1 day
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One rare lazy day in Vacuo
Yang: *Bored out of her skull, reading a "Teen" magazine*
Weiss: *Enjoying her simple healthy breakfast salad*
Ruby: *Enjoying her not-so-healthy breakfast cereal*
Blake: *Catching up on her "literature"*
Yang: *Perks up on reading a topic* "Just how gay are you and your partner? Take this simple test and find out!"
Weiss: Please no, I just want to finish breakfast.
Yang: *Ignoring her, turning to Blake* Wanna take this test with me, Blakey?
Blake: *Closing her book, raising a skeptical eyebrow* You do know we have no need for such a test, right?
Yang: We don't?
Blake: We don't. And I can prove it. *Puts away her book and stands up* Stand up.
Yang: *Already standing, curious* Okay...
Blake: *Walks over, standing close to Yang, their height difference evident as she looks up at the blonde* Now, on your knees.
Yang: *Wide-eyed in shock* Uhm, wha-what?!
Blake: *Touches Yang's jawline* On. Your. Knees.
Yang: *Knees buckle, thudding on the floor* Okay...
Blake: *Now looking down at the blonde, eyes bright in delight and with a wicked grin* And that, my dear girl, that is how gay you are. Understood?
Yang: *In need of clean underwear* Yes, ma'am.
~~~~~~~~~~
Weiss: *In despair as she holds her hands in her head* I just want one, ONE, simple morning without my breakfast being ruined.
Ruby: *Still shoveling her cereal* Meh, I'm over it.
Weiss: Ugh... I should go join JNPER (Jaune, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Ren). Surely they're... normal compared to whatever these two are doing all day.
Ruby: Probably best if you didn't.
Weiss: Pray tell, why?
Ruby: Oscar, and by extension Ozpin, is mostly busy with Theodore and other high-ranking huntsfolk for whatever business is most pressing but the rest... *Slightly cringes as she weighs whether or not she should tell*
Weiss: Ruby. Tell. Me!
Ruby: *Sighs, shrugs and spills the proverbial beans* They're probably banging right about now.
Weiss: ...
Ruby: Yeah... after our return from the Ever After there was this whole thing where Ren and Nora wanted- Needed more like- to reconnect and reconcile with Jaune. Emerald was just desperate looking for a place to belong. Anyway, long story short, they're likely banging right now.
Weiss: *Thudding her head on the table* My fucking friend group is a Gods damned mess!
Ruby: I'm still traumatized from walking in on them, but you don't hear me complain. Nora's way more flexible than you'd expect.
Weiss: *Whinging into the table surface* UUUUUGH...
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thetransguard · 6 hours
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okay i knew it was coming but its kind of killing me how obtuse people are being towards toshiro (im not fucking calling him shuro and honestly yall should stop with that too). should he have told laios how he really felt about him, sure, yeah, but im going to go off on a limb here and suggest maybe! maybe! he's been raised in an environment where it's actually like legitimately unheard of and taboo to be very open and straight forward about his feelings. the entire party has been calling him by a name that literally isnt even his own because he is so used to quashing down his own reactions to others. like i think other poc diaspora dunmeshi fans might agree with me here but he just reads like someone whos not bothered enough to correct every microaggression thrown his way. because that shit is exhausting. and after like five hours of laios bugging him about stories of his homeland why would he have a good opinion of him. genuinely. im not saying laios is entirely at fault but neither is toshiro. i love laios too but it is Very Weird that toshiro gets the brunt of their friendship's falling out (ill circle back to this)
also to preface this i am a farcille shipper so im. not pushing for falin/toshiro. but people acting like his affection for falin is somehow not relevant or he has no devotion to falin at all is CRAZY. immediately after being teleported out he threw himself back into that dungeon and didnt eat or sleep properly to rescue her. we literally watch him collapse from it. after multiple episodes emphasizing the importance of nutrition and caring for yourself and your take away from a man willing to toss that away is that he just. doesn't care for falin? why is he in the dungeon then? answer. quickly. granted he's not as onboard with the whole black magic thing but his concerns are literally valid and before we see falin chimera he seems to have been talked down from reporting them all for it. its the proof of his concerns of the use of black magic that he decides to go up and report them at all. his bond with falin isn't nearly as strong as marcille's bond but its also not nothing. ignoring that or minimising his own sacrifices is such a nasty bad faith disservice to his character.
speaking of bonds. toshiro doesn't hate laios. guys. his last act this episode was to give laios and the rest of the party (yes, even black magic user marcille) a way out of the hole that they'd already dug for themselves. fleeing to the east and leaving falin to the elves isnt the best case scenario but it is one that lets the majority of the party survive whatever's coming. its the realistic play. is this the act of a man who hates his former colleagues? is he wishing harm and further misfortune on them? his actions speak for themselves. you guys are being way too hard on toshiro and its really fucking telling. this goes for white viewers especially
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calumfmu · 1 day
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steve finding out reader is expecting twins and being utterly panicked, like he needs to go see robin and eddie to talk him down because he is freaking out
Ahhhhhh I love this!!! (you know the TikTok sound 'oh my goodness I love this questiionnnnn, I think-' yeah thats me right now). 857 words cw: swearing, loser!Steve trying to get his groove back,
An ice pack was pressed to his head, Robin's chipped nail polish covered fingers holding it in place. She was mumbling something, freaking out as she stumbled over her panic, 'maybe we should call 911'.
Eddie was laughing, cold beer in one hand as he took in the sight before him. Robin taking deep breaths to calm herself down, interchangeably pressing the ice to herself and Steve, while he groaned every time it was taken away from him. A dark bruise was forming on his forehead from where he passed out in your living room.
"Isn't this the shit you've always been talking about?" Eddie asked, taking a swig of his drink.
Steve closed his eyes, a deep breath leaving him. Robin yelped, shaking his shoulder.
"Stay awake, Steve!" She hurried, squatting in front of him. Steve peeked open an eye, rolling it at her.
"I'm fine, Robin," he said, wincing at the pressure he was feeling. "Yes and no, yes because I love her and I want a soccer team-"
"Damn army at that."
"Eddie. Please," He continued, taking the pack from Robin's fingers. "I'm just going to be fucking terrible at it."
"Steve, those damn kids love you," she supplied, taking his wrist in her hand, presumably to check his vitals. "You run your own babysitting service practically, and you're amazing at it, hey, you might get your ass kicked every now and then, but they're all alive."
"Not helping," he winced, snatching his wrist from her. Eddie leaned forward in his chair, handing a lit cigarette towards the younger man. Steve would normally complain about him smoking indoors, but for right now, it was everything he needed.
"She's right, Steve," he said, watching as Steve took a long drag, shoulders relaxing at the hit. "Those kids will swear up and down that you're the best god damn thing to happen to them, whether you like it or not. You're made for this."
Steve shook his head, coughing as the hit went down the wrong pipe. "No, no, no. Man, I couldn't even get into college, and here I am, working at a movie store, with twins! Twins! Two babies! On their way!"
Eddie laughed at his urgency, reclining as he looked up at the ceiling of the Harrington home. He took a look around, humming as he found it spacious.
"I think a crib will fit perfectly right there," he pointed towards a corner, closing one eye as he envisioned it. Steve whined, sinking into the couch even further.
"My dad's going to kill me," he muttered, putting the palms of his hands over his eyes. He was never a religious man, but in this moment, he felt God in his presence. "Fuck, what if I'm like my dad? I'm going to be so shit at this, she's gonna leave me. Oh my God, I'm going to be a single dad."
"Steve!" Robin grabbed his shoulders, shaking them as he lolled his head to look at her. "Snap out of it, okay?"
Steve nodded, his bottom lip jutting out as he moped. His eyes were wide, watering slightly as he envisioned the next few months, no years, decades of his life changing.
"You're going to be the best god damn dad out there, alright? You may be a Harrington, but you're not gonna be like him," Robin held eye contact, sincere as she pressed a hand to his chest. "She loves you. You love her. The two of you are like a match made in heaven."
Eddie hummed in agreement, turning so his feet hung off the side of the lounge chair. "Or hell, if you want to look at it like that."
Robin cut him a look, gaze firm.
"Okay fine, you're made for each other, alright? There couldn't be a better duo than the two of you, and you'd need to be completely senseless to not see that," he reached out, fingers spread as he expected the cigarette back. "Trust me when I say, I think you're going to be perfect at this. You may think it's the wrong timing, but I mean, it happened for a reason."
Steve nodded, looking in between the two of them. He began to feel hopeful, figuring his two friends wouldn't lead him astray when it came to this.
"What if I am bad at it though? Even if I try?" His voice was small, fear etched into it. Robin placed a hand on his knee, squeezing lightly.
"No one's good at it, especially for the first time. What matters is trying and just being there," she said, patting at him. "Now get the hell up. Give her a call, apologize for being terrible and leaving her at her house, and make it work, Harrington."
Steve looked towards Eddie, who smiled and nodded as he agreed. Slowly standing up, he felt less shaky in his movements, redeveloping the muscle he felt he had lost earlier.
Eddie gave a toothy grin as Steve crossed the room, giddy in his steps as he made his way towards the house phone. "Just wrap it up next time, Harrington."
"Eddie!"
Masterlist! Inbox and requests are open! <3
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melbatron5000 · 3 days
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Maggie, Maggie
#1 Do not take my theories to Neil! None of them, nohow!
#2 Big fat spoiler, which I suppose I should have said on my previous theories, but hey. Big fat spoiler!
Here we go, I think I know something new.
I've seen a few blogs where people have suggested that Maggie is Jesus 2.0. I didn't think so at first, but now I do. Maggie is Jesus 2.0, and Crowley and Aziraphale damn well know it. Here's my evidence:
See this post about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale are hiding something. Hiding someONE? Yeah, I think so. Who the hell would they be hiding? Who would an angel and demon who averted Armageddon be hiding, especially if they are expecting a second go 'round? The BIG one, as Crowley says? Fucking Jesus, that's who. Okay. Now we're cooking with gas.
Maggie is clothing-coded as both a demon and an angel. Y'know, much like Adam is described in Good Omens the novel. "Part demon, part angel, all human."
Maggie is a bit of a goodie two-shoes. "Never was that sort of teenager, never wanted to drink, no judgment." Oh, yeah? A little better than other people, are you? Not in a hoity-toity way, just, a little better than others. A little.
Loved that record store since she was a baby, huh? How did she remember it since she was a baby? Much like Adam remembered the other two babies he was in the hospital with, as described in Good Omens the novel. "You never forget your first friends."
Maggie calls Aziraphale an angel. Not as if she knows, but as if she subconsciously knows. If she is Jesus 2.0, I don't think she's come into her powers yet.
Aziraphale expects her to be able to sense the archangels when they come to ask about Gabriel and the 25 Lazarii miracle. And the whole time he's asking her about the record, he's looking out the window very nervously, repeatedly. I've seen a few people note that a car horn sounds and he looks at it anxiously, and that does happen, but he is anxiously looking out the window the whole time. What is he watching for? In case someone notices him talking to Jesus, maybe? And when she doesn't understand what he's talking about with the archangels, he shrugs it off and refuses to explain, as if he has suddenly remembered that of course she won't be able to sense them, not yet, anyway.
The ball: Not only does she want to stay behind and help without knowing what's going on (very brave and generous), she invites the demons in by mistake, AND Aziraphale can't miracle her to go with Crowely and forget all about this. He tries in a bit of a panic, then gives up, as if he's remembering that oh yeah, he won't be able to miracle her, she's freaking Jesus.
That's why "miracles don't work like that." It's not that Aziraphale can't miracle people to fall in love, it's that he can't miracle Jesus. At all.
That light in her record store. You know, the one that looks EXACTLY LIKE ADAM'S LIGHT in the first season? (Thank you @youryurigoddess for pointing out that you had these screen shots!)
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The main reason Crowley and Aziraphale are so nervous about Gabriel showing up is because they are scared he is spying on them and will notice Jesus. The audience assumes Gabriel is scary enough on his own, and pay no attention to the fact that A/C are trying to keep him clear of noticing ANYTHING out of the ordinary.
Nina is Mary Magdeline.
The question that I do have is: What did Maggie do that had the same power as a 25 Lazarii miracle?? Because my entire theory revolves around Crowley and Aziraphale knowing -- or suspecting? Or searching for and being closer than even they know? -- that Maggie is Jesus, or will be; Saraqael being in on it; and them hiding whatever the BIG miracle was actually for and the audience assuming they are hiding the Gabriel miracle -- which they are not, although they are ALSO hiding the Gabriel miracle.
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komihoyinsblog · 2 days
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Sometimes I think Hiruzen got some kind of weird divine message at the moment of Kakashi's birth. Something like:
Hiruzen, smoking in his office: eh, my life is hard
A voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like Danzo: hey, this is the birth of the one to whom you (and the next few generations) will pass on all the problem children
Hiruzen, interested: and when can I start doing that?
Voice: in six years
Hiruzen, unhappy: eh, that's a long time to wait, but it'll do
Hiruzen, handing Kakashi to Minato at the age of five: I'm giving you a year to make him a good babysitter
Minato, shocked: excuse me?
Hiruzen, disgruntled: damn it, Minato needs a team of students to make him a good hokage, but he's also needed on the battlefield, what to do
Hiruzen, looking at Kakashi: boy, you're 6 years old now, it's time to become a chunin, the clock is ticking, someone needs to watch the kids while Minato is on the battlefield
Hiruzen: hmm, time to end the war and pass the hat to Minato, he needs to spend more time on the battlefield, but then he'll be distracted by his team.... But those kids aren't little kids either, they should be on their own by now. That's right!
Hiruzen, looking at Kakashi: Boy, how old are you now? 10? It's time to become a jonin and take charge of the team, I'm tired of pretending you don't, you'll be in charge instead of Minato
Hiruzen, looking at Itachi, Tenzo, and Shisui(about the last one, that's my personal headcanon, sorry, I'm weak for him): I have genius and powerful kids in the anbu, I need to choose which team to send them to
Hiruzen, looking at the team where Kakashi is: right here, after all, who can handle genius kids better than a genius teenager
Hiruzen, after the massacre of the Uchiha clan: well that's too bad, we need to somehow eliminate Kakashi from the anbu so he'll have Sasuke and Naruto on his team 5 years from now
Hiruzen, 2 years later, when Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai came to him: well finally, I've been waiting for you guys
Hiruzen, three years later: Kakashi, here's your team, these are the two most troubled kids in the village and the girl not from the clan
Kakashi: Fucking hell
(I have a headcanon that Team 7 sometimes left their kids with Kakashi)
Sakura: we're going on vacation for the weekend
Kakashi: yeah, okay, have a great trip
Sasuke: you stay with the kids
Kakashi: firstly, I'm a hokage, not a babysitter, and secondly, what kids?
Sakura: firstly, I'm the head of the hospital
Sasuke: secondly, Naruto and Hinata are coming too
Kakashi: you're all crazy
Lol, Kakashi will babysit Boruto and Sarada's kids and no one will be surprised, everyone's used to it.
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neo404 · 2 days
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I want nickxgoth reader right neow neow now😡😡🤞🏻💕😁😘
The festival.
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Summary: Nick wants to go with you to the festival you have been telling him about, so you give him a makeover to go with him.
Note: once again, I am NOT goth but I try my best, I hope you enjoy this.
Tw: cursing
"They play music and we dance, you get to meet tons of new people. Some people sell things, and some sell food too. It's cool, I met Lourie and Aether there." I talk to Nick while doing my hair on his bathroom.
"Oh cool. I like Lourie and Aether." He smiles while looking at my throw the mirror.
"I know, they like you too."
"Even when I didn't come back from the graves with the coolest outfits and music taste like you?" I smile and turn around.
"Yes, Nick. Even when you didn't come back from death, even if you are not a vampire, even if you like pop music and dress with all the color. They like you, and I like you more." I grab his face and kiss his cheek. "You understand? I like you. I love you. You are my boyfriend and nothing is going to change that."
"Okay." He nods but I can see in his eyes that he isn’t feeling better.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, it’s just that I wanted to spend time with you, but I know how important this is to you so I won’t ask you to stay but at the same time... I kind of want to go with you." he mumbles the last part, but I still hear him.
"Really?" I smile widely and he nods softly.
"Well, I was thinking it would be cool to do something you really like and..."
"Yes! It's an amazing idea." I kiss him on the lips. "You'll love it. I know you will."
"I trust you... Also, maybe we could like dress me up so I blend in? it’s just an idea." I gasp and kiss him again.
"Yes, you are brilliant. I didn’t think of that, come here." I grab his hand and drag him to his bed and make him sit down. "Look, I brought tons of clothes because I know myself and I knew I was going to change 5 times before liking my outfit, so I have tons of options you can choose from." I talk while taking out some items from my bag pack.
"Okay. I don't want to wear anything with band logos or anything, I'll die if someone asks me if I am a fan or something like that." I laugh while Nick looks through the things I took out. "I like this, and this... maybe this."
"Oh, I love that shirt. You'll look amazing, darling. Go change." Nick blushes a bit and goes to his bathroom to change.
"Where are your boots?!"
"Under my bed! How do I put these chains one?" I laugh quietly.
"Leave then there, I'll help you." He doesn't answer, I take out his boots from under his bed and sit waiting for him to come out.
"Okay! I-I think you also have to do my hair." he opens the door and walks out; I gulp and feel my cheeks heat up. "I look like a dork." he laughs and walks to me, standing between my legs and resting his hands on my shoulders, I can only shake my head. "You good?"
"No... I mean yeah, you just, fuck. You look amazing." He laughs again and I put my hands on his hips. "You look so good."
"Do I?" I gulp and nod. Nick sits on my lap. "I’m glad, I really like the pants, I think I should dress like this more often, what do you think?" I can’t stop staring at him.
"Yes, I would love that. Yes, please do." I hide my face on the crook of his neck and start leaving kisses all over it.
"Stop, you have to do my hair." I kiss bite his neck. "What are you doing? we have to go soon."
"You look too good; I’m making sure people know you are taken." I look at him in the eyes and smile.
"You are so dumb, let’s go." He stands up and drags me to the bathroom.
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taglist: @freshloveforthefit @shywolfapricotfan @sturnphilia @matty-bear @thenickgirl @stvrniolvsp @paige05 @soursturniolo @miloisdone1 @teenagetrash00 @lovely-calypso @heyitsmemia
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fanofstuff02 · 13 hours
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Ii… Know I said I’ll post the next chapter of Adamsapple x Chaggie yesterday but I remembered one idea I had and worked on it. I’m sorry :< I’ll post it I promise.
The thing I worked on on the other hand… It’s an one shot inspired from this ask on @rius-cave ‘s account (read it from here) where an anon suggested the idea of Lucifer and Adam fighting so bad that Adam ends up in Angel’s room crying.
Enjoy! (Also would you mind if I tagged you @things-arent-what-they-seem66 and @talesfromawannabejournalist ?)
Angel was getting ready to sleep when he heard a slight knock on his door, like the person behind it was doubting their decision to come here.
“I don’t know who you are but you better have a good fucking reason to be here this late.” He said to the door.
“Angel? Can I come in?” Someone spoke with a shaky voice.
Adam.
He opened the door, only to be met with a devastated sight of his friend. He looked like someone stole something from him. Heck, he must’ve been seriously off, he wasn’t even hiding his third eye on his forehead.
“Woah, what happened big guy?”
I was wondering if I could stay here tonight.?”
“Sure, but why?” Angel said, letting him in.
“Lucifer can’t come here unless you allow him to right?” He leaned against a wall, taking his head in his hands.
“Yeah, I guess..” So he did something…
“Let’s get you a beanbag..” He muttered to himself, walked to his closet but stopped when he heard a sob coming behind him.
The sinner, curled up in a ball with his wings wrapped around him, was crying silently. He sat down beside him quickly and began rubbing circles to his back.
“Hey… It’s okay. You don’t have to hide yourself. Let it out.”
“I-I can’t cry..” He was shaking. Fucking shaking.
“What?! Of course you can, everyone can!”
“Not me! I’m the man, not the pussy!” His wings revealed him, he was trying desperately to end the tears with wiping them violently. “I can’t let feelings-“
“Hey.” He held his wrists and hugged him. “I told you to let it out.”
That did it. He didn’t care anymore. He cried loudly to his chest. His tears were colder than anyone could ever have.
They stayed in the same position for a while, Angel awkwardly patting his back as he thought of what to do. Sure, he could try to comfort him, but it’d probably make him feel worse. Maybe this’d be enough for the sinner?
Who the fuck was he kidding? He needed someone to do it properly. And he knew just who it was. He whistled quietly, and took his pet in his hands. Adam let go of the hug and looked at who came.
“As much as I’d like to make you feel better, I suck at it Ad. But, I have someone else. Would you like to hug Nuggets?” He held him to Adam, and the upset demon took him. He licked his face softly, getting a chuckle and a hiccup from him. He hugged him tightly. He seemed a bit calmer but there were still lots of tears coming out of his eyes. Angel put a hand on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me what happened, but if you want to, I’m here.”
———
Lucifer walked down at the hallway, going to Angel Dust’s room. He was looking for a certain demon, and Charlie suggested he should go and check Angel Dust’s room. The spider and him had some sort of a friendship after all.
He needed to apologize. No, more than apologize, he probably needed to get him his favorite meal, take him to a rock concert and shit like that. He could do those later, but first he needed to see if he was okay and talk the things he said out.
There he was, standing at the doorstep. He knocked it softly, hoping he wasn’t waking the pornstar up.
A tired Angel opened the door, but his attitude completely changed when he saw the King of Hell. He was looking at him with ice-cold eyes, and they also held a little bit… Anger?
“What can I do for you Your Highness?” He said simply, wanting the King to go away. Adam didn’t need him at this moment.
“Uhh, Is Adam here?” He said, trying to look inside the room. But Angel just spawned two extra arms to block the view, standing infront of the short guy.
“Yes he is. But he is sleeping. I suggest you to come at the morning. It’s the middle of the night right now.”
“I see, but can I please at least see hi-“
“No. No you can’t.”
“But you just told me he was-?”
“Yes, he is. He fell asleep while crying because of you. And I doubt that he wants the person, who made him pour his fucking heart to me, near him even if he is sleeping. So why don't you just leave him alone, like everyone else did. After all,” He placed his finger on Lucifer’s chest, near his heart. That's what he deserves, right Your Highness?”
“Come on Angel, I didn’t mean it! I wasn’t thinking when I-”
“That’s always what they say.” He hmphed. “If you seriously want the better of him, then go the fuck away. And come back, when you see him more than a toy or a pet you can play around and threw away when you get bored. Good night, Lucifer.” He shut the door in his face.
Lucifer backed away, looking at the door shocked.
Adam, who hated crying and showing ‘girly’ emotions, poured his heart out to another demon, because of what he said?
This wasn’t right. Right, they were having an argument, and sure, maybe it got a little out of hand, but… But it couldn’t hurt Adam that much.
Right?
Angel leaned against the door. God, he wasn’t going to deny he was quite surprised how he could find the courage to do this, but he knew Lucifer wouldn’t dare hurt Charlie’s clients.
Well, he is the wrong one after all. He peeked at his bed, where the demon he wanted to see was. Fat Nuggets was lying and probably sleeping near him, like he wanted to be there just in case he’d wake up crying again. Sometimes Angel could swore he was a literal angel.
He groaned, he needed a few things or atleast a glass of water, but he also didn’t wanted to leave Adam alone.
It’ll be quick. Just five minutes. He got up and opened the door, checking for Lucifer. When he couldn’t see him, he rushed to the kitchen.
Lucifer waited for him to dissapear from the curtain he was hiding in, and sneaked to his room. He hoped the magic wouldn’t work since Angel wasn’t in his room.
It didn’t.
Oh but how much Lucifer would want it to do.
Adam was there, in Angel’s bed, sleeping with the pig-pet near him. Looking horrible. His cheeks were puffy red, and still wet. His hair was messed up, his other eye wasn’t hidden like it mostly was, one of his horns looked like it had a missing piece, and so many few more details formed the broken man infront of him. But worst of all, even though he was sleeping, he looked more like he just passed out.
He was hurt.
He was hurt because of him.
He did this.
He absentmindedly tried to placed a hand on his, but his hand stopped when he heard someone behind.
“Ahem. I believe I told you to, GO. THE. FUCK. AWAY.” Angel Dust whisper-yelled, as Lucifer refused to let go of Adam’s side.
“I can’t leave him like thi-“
“Oh but you said you should, right? THEN DO IT! I am not allowing you here!”
The king felt the command grip his throat. He walked out of the room and stood at the entrance. The sinner was now straight up angry, and he didn’t seemed to care Lucifer was superior to him.
“Angel, I-” He faced a door again, the spider didn’t even had something to say to him.
He sat down at the entrance. If he had to wait for the morning then he’d do it.
He needed to clean up his own mess.
————
This was supposed to be a little one shot help-
Should I make a sequel?
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exopelagic · 1 month
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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regular-lord-reckoner · 9 months
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today has been a really long and incredibly stressful day and my dad's okay now, but my mom had to take him to the ER tonight because he's been having some issues and needed to get checked out and he also fell today so they went and did that
as soon as they get back and were trying to get into the house i guess the last of my dad's energy just gave out and he just kinda sunk down to his knees and then slowly slid onto the floor and neither of us could get him up
we tried to help him grab onto his wheelchair and work with him but he just couldn't do it and neither of us were strong enough to lift him without making things worse
our family friend is out of town and my mom tried calling another friend but nobody was able to come so we had EMS come out and thankfully two guys were able to lift him into his chair and help us get him into bed and settled
he's finally resting after a long, long fucking day and my mom's going to take off work tomorrow so she can be with him
i am...beyond exhausted so i am also going to go to sleep and hope to god tomorrow's a better day
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aw-bean-s · 1 year
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My friend came back from uni for a bit so we had lunch and she's been struggling a bit w body image and I was trying to be a supportive friend without telling her how many crisis I've had over her being hot
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running-in-the-dark · 10 months
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The appointment with my psychiatrist went really well! He prescribed me something I can take before situations that I'm the most scared of (like getting fillings done at the dentist). I hope it'll help.
We also decided to reduce the dose of the antidepressant that I take to help me fall asleep to half of the lowest available dose (that doesn't do anything for depression but should still help me sleep, he said). My next appointment is in three months and we'll discuss the sleep issues properly then (which I'm totally fine with, I was already very overwhelmed by everything today 😬)
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okay so that homeschooling poll got me thinking about what my teachers did and also what my friends have told me about their experience with said teachers and goddamn. what the fuck
#listing them off like. this one openly talked about abusing their own son as if it was okay and put a kid in detention when questioned#and this one definetly wanted to be a teacher just for the power trip#this one is actually okay AND paid enough!! thats rare we got lucky with this one#this one clearly has some very blatant deep seated issues that he is taking out on kids#this one is blatantly drunk on the job and decided to fight a flock of geese because she had an argument with another teacher and didnt wan#to be in the room next to him even though it was raining outside and there was angry geese on the field#this one also wanted to be a teacher for the power trip#this one is good but she isnt getting paid enough for what she does and thats sad#this one was friend of a friend to my mom when she was 17 and didnt like her and hates me because of it#this one said autistic people should die in a class where everyone knew about the autistic boy and also me who less people knew was autisti#this one knows nothing about autism but was assigned as an ''autism guide''#this one is my stepdads friend with anxiety who should probably quit actually this job is not doing him any good#like his sister was a student and she got beaten up (note his sister is friends with my sibling so I found out about this real quick)#but yeah the school is so fucked up#also the computer science teacher whos been bullying my cousin for being both fat and queer#if i see that man im going to maul him to death
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bloggirl8842 · 7 months
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My psych says I don’t like my mom or my ex because they make me vulnerable but I think it’s because they are/were both serial boundary violators. Well serial boundary violators sounds serious but I mean they are just good kind people who would not leave me alone when i ask(ed)
#i mean so am i so i dont exactly blame them but like. my mom doesnt knock used to hold me down and epilate my body doesnt take no for an#answer ever on anything unless youre MEAN to her and i dont mean anything serious i mean she asked me to go to the store with her to pick#out paint for her walls i said no she asked again i said no she asked again i said no so she went on her own and facetimed me so id help her#pick. my ex had a similar thing where if i was like hey lets not talk tomorrow im burnt out hed be like okay and then the next day early#morning he’d send a good morning text and then several more throughout the day and then we’d call at the end of the night#people do who not let you fucking breathe. i hate it. if i saw my mom less often id probably like her but her so much as sitting next to me#on the couch will have me tense and pissed. she also takes glee in hating things i like and its not a conscious or serious thing but its#really weird. ive done the same for her since i was little i dont know who did it first. like ok we’re moving our new place had wallpaper in#my room i wanted to keep it she wanted to remove it she agreed to keep it and then made plans to remove it bc she was going to get rid of it#at some point later on anyway for the house’s value or something. they removed it recently and she showed me a vid of the place and when she#gets to my room shes like hehehe its goneee like girl what the fuck is going on with you. she wouldnt let me change the decoration of my#room as a child it had to be the way she liked it. even my body had to be the way she liked it dude the epilation thing shed laugh as i#cried (in a shirt and underwear man) bc i was finally hairless. my ex was nowhere near that bad but again ZERO breathing room and whenever#id try to take some hed be like ‘’i just worry that if you take this space you’ll come back and break up with me’’ uh. yeah with that#attitude the breakup’s coming either way. he’s a good guy though just 24 and a man (both sad afflictions) he’ll shape up. or not. idk im no#t invested#he did listen to a lot of what i said just not the basic things of ‘’leave me the fuck alone sometimes’m#im annoyed that my therapist framed this as a me issue but shes right when it comes to me having trouble w vulnerability and i should just#clarify my pov here so she can change her assessment#my ex leaves me alone now. he does a great job at it i thiiink hes moved on which im happy about#i dont know if id ever want to be friends again though idk if either of us can do that#i cant. rn#i understand why he wanted so much from me though. i get it
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Literally cant care about anything other than majima haruka bonding
#Yakuza loveblog#ohhh together ... this is less of a kiryu sickfic and more like harukas little city adventure#kiryu got sick because he was just not taking care of himself and keeled over like a victorian lady and haruka was like okay . im#cooking dinner tonight ojisan if i catch you out of bed i will be very angry with you !!!#sorry for using ojisan and uncle kaz interchangably theyre both just so fucking cute ... uncle kaz lets fuck hookers#haruka where is the methy . in my nose ojisan. uncle kaz get it twisted gamble you will win you understand you will break even#you wont lose. you wont go into debt. you will win. millions. get it twisted gamble and thats it.#majima ends up having to drive her home because he doesnt want her out on her own anymore .. which is funny because haruka yelled at him#because he joked about coming over to visit kiryu while hes sick and she was like NO !!! and he was like sheesh okay okay ...#and then shes like oh turn left here yeah this is where we're staying .. . you can come in if you want :) (she trusts him now)#i think harukas jacket also got ripped up and covered in blood so majima bought her that stylish puffer jacket she has in yk2#little girls WILL wear black singlets by the way just trust me on this kiryu also wore one when he was younger 'source?' just trust me#its like a staple of the wardrobe you need a black singlet and a jacket to wear over it plus its super cute and sensible#i like to make people straight up stab and hurt other people in front of haruka she doesnt care shes already desensitised#because she follows kiryu around every day and hes always caving skulls and making people spit out bloody teeth so seeing majima splatter#blood everywhere was nothing to her shes always getting splashed with blood every single day she doesnt mind#shes very brave to keep wearing white after that but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do#hmm wonder if i should have a proper writing tag so i can consolidate all this shit ...#well it would mostly be for keeping track of what ive already posted because i can never remember and i keep writing the same thing#over and over again ... i only have one brain you see ..#majima comes into kiryus house immediately makes a beeline for his bedroom and sees him all sweaty and feverish in bed too weak to move#and she starts panting like a dog and kiryu looks at her with fear in his eyes#guy whos about to get his shit rocked like crazy and knows it#sorry haruka look away !!! <- thats the header i have for this fic look away from the rest of the document !!!!
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