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#yeah this one is a little sadder
kanerallels · 2 years
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There's No One Else For Me But You
For Kanera week day six: "love languages". Set in a canon compliant universe
Rating/Warnings: G (some description of the wound that blinded Kanan)
Taglist: @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @heckin-music-dork @auroramagpie @opalknight @firefoxtessa @day-to-day-thots @kaneraweek
Read on AO3!
1. Receiving gifts
Hera was in the middle of rewiring a console when she heard someone moving through the ship. Kanan must be back from his grocery run, she guessed— and sure enough, a few minutes later she heard a light rap on the door of the cockpit.
The door hissed open a moment later, and Hera heard him step into the cockpit. Not looking up from her position underneath the console, she called, “Did you get everything we need?”
“As commanded, Captain Hera,” Kanan responded easily. “You’d be proud of me— I didn’t spend your credits on any of the tacky t-shirts I found. Even the really funny ones.”
Hera snorted out a laugh. “You better not have.”
“Trust me, I know how to follow your orders,” he said. “By the way, I got you something.”
The tool Hera was using slipped between her fingers, and she barely managed to catch it before it hit the ground. “What?”
“Don’t worry, I paid for it myself,” Kanan said, sounding extraordinarily pleased with himself. “I’d better get started unpacking the groceries.”
The door closed behind him, and Hera listened to the sound of his footsteps receding for a moment before sliding out from the console. As she sat up, she caught sight of it— a singular, perfect meiloorun, sitting in her chair.
Feeling a slight smile growing on her face, Hera reached out and picked it up. She’d mentioned to Kanan a few weeks ago that meiloorun was one of her favorite desserts. 
And he’d remembered. Something about that kindled a spark of warmth in her chest. They’d only been working together for a few months at this point, but she could already tell that Kanan was becoming more than just a coworker to her. He was a friend. And Hera was so glad that he’d joined her in the first place.
2. Quality time
The sound of the music from the radio mingled with the swishing of the water as Kanan scrubbed out the pan Zeb had used to make dinner. On his right side, Hera dried plates and stacked them neatly, humming along with the song.
From out in the lounge area, Kanan could hear Zeb and Ezra snarking at each other, Sabine’s wry voice chiming in every now and then as Chopper’s binary laugh rang out harshly. “How’d we end up with dish duty again?” he murmured to Hera.
“As I recall, dear, you volunteered,” Hera pointed out, lifting an eyebrow at him with amusement. “Something about giving Zeb and the kids a break after how well they’ve been doing lately.”
“Oh, right.” Sticking the pan underneath the faucet, Kanan shrugged. “I mean. Ezra has been doing a good job lately, especially today. He’s really getting the hang of this Jedi thing.”
“Thanks in part to his teacher,” Hera pointed out, taking the pan from him and beginning to wipe it down. “You’ve been doing a good job now that you’ve committed to this.”
“Somedays it feels like I don’t know the first thing about what I’m doing,” Kanan confessed. “But today… today was a good day. And he deserves to celebrate that.”
Hera lifted an eyebrow at him. “So do you, Kanan.”
“I’m here with you,” he told her as a new song came on the radio. “That’s good enough for me.”
She turned rather hastily back to her drying, but Kanan spotted her quick smile. “Still a charmer after all these years,” she said lightly. 
“I do my best,” Kanan joked. “Hey— I can finish this up if you want to head out there, make sure Zeb and Ezra don’t blow up the ship.”
“Not a chance,” Hera said calmly, taking the next dish from him. “Keep washing, love.”
“Yes, Captain,” Kanan said obediently, returning to his work with a grin. They kept at their work together— Kanan whistling along with the song, Hera swaying in time to the music so her shoulder would brush Kanan’s every so often. 
He was by Hera’s side. And he couldn’t think of a better place to be.
3. Acts of service
“How are you feeling?” Hera asked as she set the bandages and bacta spray down on Kanan’s bedside table. The beep of the machine next to her kept steady pace with her own pulse as she glanced at Kanan, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, shoulders rigid.
“Better than last week,” he replied. “But still sore. And it’s starting to itch a little.” His hand lifted up towards the white bandages around his face, then dropped. “Probably shouldn’t be scratching, though.”
“Definitely not,” Hera agreed. “That means it’s healing, though, doesn’t it?”
Shrugging, Kanan said, “Healing was never my strong suit.”
Hera felt a twinge of pain at his dull, uninterested voice, but pushed it away. There was no sense in giving up. “Stay still— I’m going to change your bandages now, okay?”
He nodded, and Hera moved next to him, resting a hand on his shoulder as she reached for the bandage, picking off the adhesive tape carefully. She gently started pulling the bandages free, but she could feel the tension in Kanan’s muscle increase as she tugged the last layer away from his face.
The dark burn slashed across his eyes had begun to fade into scar tissue, as had some of the rawness that had been apparent at first. The eyes themselves were opaque, filmed over, and they stared off blankly into the distance.
“How bad does it look?” There was a hint of concern in Kanan’s voice, mingled with the pain Hera knew he was trying so hard to hide.
“Better than last time,” she told him. “The— the wound is healing well. We should probably put some more bacta on it, though.”
As she grabbed the spray and the bandages, Kanan said, “That’s not gonna bring back my eyes.”
The raw emotion— the frustration, the pain and anguish— cut at Hera’s heart. Setting the bandages next to him, she slipped her hand around his. “No,” she said quietly. “It won’t. But it’ll keep you healthy and getting stronger, and that’s more important than anything else right now.”
Kanan nodded, his expression less than convinced. “Okay. I can do that, you know. You shouldn’t— shouldn’t have to see me like this.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Hera said, her tone firm. “Not unless you really want me to.”
His hesitation was long enough that she knew the answer, and began work applying the spray, then carefully rewrapping the bandages around his face. Resting a hand on his shoulder, she said, “I have a meeting to attend in a few minutes— I’ll be back with dinner in a few hours, okay?”
“Okay,” Kanan said, and Hera felt him lean into her touch, just a little. But that was enough to bring her hope, hope that he would get through this. “Hera?” he added.
“Yes?”
“Thank you. For all of it.”
Leaning down, Hera pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead. “Always, dear.”
4. Physical touch
Part of being with Hera Syndulla was knowing that she would work herself to the bone if she thought she could help someone, particularly if it meant staying up all hours of the night. Kanan had a number of techniques for dealing with this. 
Tonight, however, he couldn’t quite make himself fall asleep. So he slipped out of bed and made his way into the lounge area.
Hera was still hard at work at the table— he could hear her fingers tapping against the screen of a datapad, her focus so intense she didn’t even notice him coming in. Sitting down next to her, Kanan maneuvered a cold mug of caf out of elbow range and asked, “Do you ever sleep?”
Her surprise zipped through the air, and she let out a startled laugh. “I thought you were in bed.”
“Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t we talk about staying up so late?”
“I— yes,” Hera admitted, letting out a sigh. “But… there’s just so much to do, after losing Atollon. Especially with you and Sabine and Ezra leaving for Mandalore in a few days. I just— I’m trying to focus on work.” She paused, then added softly, “and not missing you.”
Kanan slid closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Dropping her datapad, Hera leaned her head against his chest with a sigh. “I wouldn’t leave you if I had any other choice,” Kanan told her.
“I know. But I want you going with the kids. Sabine will need you.” Hera was quiet for a long moment, and Kanan listened to her steady breathing. “I’ll still miss you, though.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” Kanan said, dropping a kiss against her forehead. “Try not to defeat the Empire without us, okay?”
She laughed. “No promises, love.” Settling in a more comfortable position, she let her forehead drop against his shoulder. “I’m not stopping for the night,” she mumbled. “I’ll get back to work in a minute.”
“I know,” Kanan assured her, stealthily locating a blanket draped over the back of the couch and tugging it forward to cover them. Hera let out a hum of pleasure and wriggled closer to him.
“I mean it,” she said, sounding mostly asleep. “I’m about to get up.”
“Stay with me,” Kanan whispered, and he could picture the smile curving Hera’s mouth.
“Just this once,” she replied, and it was a few seconds later that he heard her breathing even out as she drifted off.
He stayed like that for the rest of the night, sleeping on and off, holding the woman he loved in his arms. Something told him that this was the last peaceful moment they would have together for a while, and he intended to enjoy it while it lasted. He’d hold onto Hera, as long as he could.
5. Words of affirmation
“Well, you know how I feel.”
“Boy, I must really trust you.”
“I know you do.”
“I wish I could see you.”
“You could always see me.”
“May the Force be with you.”
“You’ve always been there for me. Whenever I needed you.”
“Kanan. I know what to say now. I love you.”
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 3 months
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Jason never got to be 16. makes me sad.
Not to deny that Jason not being able to make it to 16 in his first life is sad, but I mean he did technically end up making it, and he made it to 17 and 18 and 21 and so on and so forth, it just happened "in round two" so to speak.
What I think is sadder though, is that depending on whether he was 15 or 14 years old when this happened:
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There are one of two ways he would've spent his sixteenth year.
Option 1 (if he was 15 at the time of his ressurection):
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(This is 1 year post initial hospitalization)
Or Option 2 (if he was 14 at the time of his ressurection):
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(And this is 2 years post initial hospitalization, 1 year post escape from that facility)
Happy sweet 16th, Jason John Doe #265 :)
Batman Annual (1961-) #25
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pokimoko · 4 months
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Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.
#doctor who#doctor who music#murray gold#segun akinola#musings about music#this is specifically about 10's theme in vale decem. the long song in 11's regen piece. and clara's theme in face the raven / clara's diner#i get psychic damage everytime i simply hear the use of the motifs elsewhere because of the tragic associations those sadder renditions hav#obviously these songs aren't the only examples in doctor who but they are by far the most emotionally devastating ones for me personally#and obviously it isn't just leitmotifs either. basically hearing any piece that played during a sad scene gets to me.#how are you supposed to explain to your coworkers that you're tearing up because of instrumental sound association?#'yeah sorry these violins and humming sounds summoned vivid images of my favourite character dying/leaving and it made me sad'#love that composers can just straight up pavlov bell your emotions by getting you to associate a melody with a sad scene#an addition to this is doctor who instrumentals that make me nostalgic because I associate them with my own past#like 'this is gallifrey: our childhood. our home'. that song was one of my alarms for a good long while back when i was 15ish#so it kinda transports me back to that time in my life whenever i hear it. music really is its own little kind of time travel#i am very much looking forward to the continuing psychological damage murray gold will inflict upon me in the new season#and to have previously uplifting character leitmotifs used against me and forever be contaminated with sad feelings. love to see it#(also: not a instrumental but damn 'the stowaway' has no right being as good as it is. who knew a christmas sea shanty could sound so great#apologies for this probably niche-ish post (is it niche to know ost title's by heart? asking for friend). just feeling things about music
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Yesterday I saw a movie that I think it’s just become my favorite movie and i’m dying to scream about it
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lunarharp · 2 years
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tsuki people, genroku, gatsby
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thecherrygod · 1 year
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... man i just remembered how last night i had a dream by the end of it there was a cat, and in it i said "oh she looks exactly like tigra!! are you also an attention seeking dumbass like her?" and it was so i may have actually dreamt about her
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lcveblind · 2 years
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🌟 GLOWING STAR <3 for the lady
{  𝐎𝐂 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒! || accepting! }
🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?
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There are many things to think about when Edeline goes out on her balcony to gaze up at a night sky. Important things, such as the future of her people, her ability to rule as queen, the relations between them and the nations surrounding them. Sometimes, though, there are nights she thinks about the stories her mother, the Queen, had told her when she was young. 
One such story was about the small traditions past sailors had, and how their love for the great, wide ocean was connected to the starry sky. After all, it was the stars, her mother had told her, that allowed those at sea to find those they love (her mother included, apparently). That’s how the Festival of Stars came to be. 
...A small bit of loneliness usually comes after remembering such a memory, and with it, the wish to gaze at the stars with someone she loved. But eventually those feelings are pocketed away to the back of her mind, and she would head back inside to resume her rest.
A wish was only a wish, after all.
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railraptor · 7 months
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Guess who's hella excited to have a Gun Runner to root for as we head into next year's Triple Crown.
Locked looked pretty good winning the Breeders' Futurity, going wide around both turns and being persistent down the lane....bring on the Breeders' Cup!
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windywhispers · 1 year
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I'm pretty fresh out of the whole quest, but I've pretty much covered/found all of Enkanomiya lore at this point (save for looking into the Vishap Research Lab!), and I just love when stories offer two sides of a plot. I love hearing different point of views of the same events that occurred, and I think that is the big thing at least in Enkanomiya where they push you to listen to both sides: the ones who hated the Sunchildren and those who pitied them. And I think the perfect icing on top was being able to interact with the Sunchildren. They don't offer us much but you can just see what they were thinking about and really just put into perspective, they really were just kids who were manipulated.
It sucks though; I would have loved to have some Jibashiri Sunshade still hanging around so we can get a perspective from them, but of course, because they were saving their own skin, they would have already made it to the surface before their afterimages could be left behind...
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urfavleo777 · 6 months
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Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, oral (m receiving), choking, hair pulling, fluff.
It was an October evening. The sun had long since set, causing all the streetlights to go out. Now, the moonlight shining through the window was the only light you could use to continue reading your favorite book.
Accompanied by the sound of rain, you devoured the pages of The Picture of Dorian Gray. With a sigh, you turned the next page. You were getting close to the end, which made you even more sadder. Your weak spot was your attachment to books and some people.
Specifically to one person.
“Baby?“ Your boyfriend's voice caught your attention. You put the book on the bedside table and bit your lip at the sight of your boyfriend standing in only his lovely pink pajama pants. “Are you still reading?”
“Oh..“ you sighed softly, completely dazed.
"Whoa, you alright?" Colby looked down at you, concerned on his face, "Y/n."
You shake your head slightly, "Yeah." You stand up straight, "You just.." You found a more comfortable position, "Look so beautiful tonight"
“Only tonight?” he laughed brilliantly, moving closer to the bed. Then he lay down and took you in his arms, giving you a tender kiss on your forehead. You immediately forgot about the plot of the book that you were reading eagerly just moments ago.
You gently brushed his hair away and planted a kiss on his bare shoulder, only realizing you'd tickled him when you heard a small, muffled laugh come from the crook of your neck where Colby was resting his head.
During that quiet intimate moment the only sounds that could be heard in the room were your breaths and the sound of your kisses.
“Have I interrupted you in anything?“ he murmured dreamily, after a while.
“No, I was just reading.” You denied it immediately.
"I love you." He muttered as he gently pulled away from him, after some moments, and you cupped his face in your hands after tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “We can continue, if you want.”
“Continue what?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Reading your book.” He replied with embarrassment.
"My sweet, smart boy." You laughed before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you too. And sure, we can continue reading my beloved Dorian Gray.”
“Oh.” He clutched his heart dramatically.
A smile appeared on your face. “Are you jealous because of a fictional character?”
He pretended to feel offended, making you laugh again. Just as he was about to answer, the loud sound of thunder interrupted him. You flinched unexpectedly.
Now he was the one laughing. You huffed in mock outrage.
“My little girl is afraid of thunderstorms?” He gently ran his fingers through your hair’s. “Let me take care of you properly, love.”
You nodded and tried not to smile too wide when you leaned in to kiss him.
You do a whole lot more than just kiss him, though. You open his mouth with your own and lick inside with a confident tongue. You take the breath from his lungs with little effort, leaving him more breathless than he has been all night.
“Wanna suck you off,” you murmured, slurred and muffled against his mouth.
Colby breathed out a laugh, one mixed with amusement and disbelief. “I rarely know this side of you, babe.” He told you, smoothing wide palms up and down your arms.
“Do you want a blowjob or not?”
“Well, yeah, but I—”
“Good,” you hummed with a smile before sinking to your knees in front of him. You unbuttoned his pants and free his half-hard cock from the confines of his pants. You tugged at the hem of his underwear until his heavy balls hang over the plaid fabric. 
Finally you decided to have mercy on him as you flattened your tongue against his dick, deciding to follow the vein from his base to his tip. Colby let out a high-pitched whine followed by a "thank you", but you didn’t really care. Yes, it felt good for him, but this was also for your pleasure. You swirled your tongue around his leaking tip, tasting the salty essen.
“Jesus fucking christ— you’re so pretty, baby— fuck.” He tilted his head back, gripping the sheets. “Fuck, please baby. Don't stop.”
You smiled up at the wrecked man, the man begging for you to continue. You could feel the light pressure of his hand against your head trying to push you closer to his groin.
“Can I kiss you?” He surprised himself as the question had left his mouth.
“Please.” you whined with desperation, making Colby groan as his lips found yours in a frenzy.
Your fingers slowly trailed down, finally wrapping your dainty hand around the sheer girth and length that was Colby’s cock.
Another unashamed whimper fell from between his pretty lips.
“That feels good, baby?” You murmured into his mouth between the smacks that echoed off the walls.
“Fuck, yeah mhm, it does.” He rushed out awkwardly, making you giggle into the kiss.
You took him back into your mouth, but that time without mercy as you relaxed your throat, slowly moving down inch by delicious inch as you tried not to gag, his tip now bullying your uvula like his own personal punching bag.
You fucked his aching cock into your throat, bobbing your head up and down, over and over.
“I need your cock so bad Colby.” You moaned.
“Use me, please. J-just fuck, just use me pretty girl.” Colby whimpered.
“Yes, sir.” You whispered into his ear before placing a gentle kiss there. You turned around, hand grabbing onto his still hard cock, you lower yourself into his lap, pink tip already prodding at your hole as your back became flush with his chest, you lay your head back against his shoulder and burrowed it into his neck, both of you moaning in unison as you sink onto him, slowly.
He was so big it was like he was ripping you in half, but you welcomed the burn. The pleasure and pain of it all made your cunt drip even more, further creating less pain and a whole lot more pleasure.
“Shit, you’re so wet and so fucking warm, baby.” Colby huffed.
You wailed as your legs begin to shake, your cunt clenching around him as your nails digging into his thighs that continue to slap up into the backs of yours.
“Colby– I’m cumming, oh my god!” You sobbed, when the most intense pleasure was coursing through your body, turning you into a twitching mess.
“Fuck, me too baby, wher-” He didn’t even get to finish, before you were begging him to cum inside you. Of course he obliged, eyes rolling back into his head and cock throbbing as his heavy load shot deep inside you.
“Goddammit.” He whispered into your neck.
The intensity of the moment consumed you, as he poured every ounce of himself into you, leaving you both utterly spent and satisfied. You both were breathless and drenched in perspiration, your legs entwined with his.
The storm seemed to be going away, the quiet rumbling was barely audible. All of a sudden the street lights came back up. Colby chuckled and sighed.
“So, you still want to read that book of yours again?”
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forpiratereasons · 7 months
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having reviewed (see: watched obsessively) the first three episodes, there doesn't seem to be any sign of ed's knee brace. there are two explanations for this. the first one is the very boring doylist option, which is that there was some real-life reason taika couldn't or wouldn't wear it (fit, ease of use, restricted movement, etc).
the second reason is much sadder but more interesting one, which is that ed has made a deliberate choice not to wear it. "but his knee will hurt!" yeah it's self-harm. it's self-sabotage. it's self-punishment. that he doesn't deserve to wear it, or that it doesn't matter, that a little extra pain doesn't matter. it also will slow him down, and make him slower and slower on raids, in front of the crew - it makes him an easier target, in other words.
interestingly, ed doesn't wear it in either dream sequence either. in stede's dream, this is maybe meant to signify that ed is healed, that he's in no pain. in ed's dream, this probably means the exact opposite - that he doesn't stop hurting himself even in dreams.
I'm interested to see if the knee brace shows up again as ed begins to heal. but whether the brace shows up again or not, i'm always gonna think of that knee as Fucked to Hell, a thing which can be so personal. plus, others have said this in more depth, but whether a person uses a mobility aid like the brace, or the frequency with which they use it, is not dispositive as to whether they're disabled.
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Eddie's porn stash is a pretty conventional one. An 'if you've seen one stash you've seen them all' type. It basically only consists of skin mags, some of them kinky but most of them vanilla. Normal stuff.
The oddest thing in it is a two-year-old calendar. You know those sexy firefighter calendars? Usually a charity thing? A hit with the housewife crowd? Yeah. Except this calendar decided to branch out and include a bunch of sexy men from a bunch of sexy professions.
So, in this thing, joining the sexy firefighter is a sexy doctor, a sexy construction worker, a sexy police officer (whose month Eddie tore out and burned because fuck cops but don't ever fuck cops), a sexy librarian, and so on. They're all really good-looking, but none of them hold a candle to the paramedic.
It's weird. Paramedics aren't normally part of the traditionally sexy professions. It's messy and sometimes tragic, but lacks the high-paying glamour that doctors and nurses enjoy. Eddie's had his fair share of fantasies, and none of them involved fucking a paramedic.
Until two years ago.
The guy in the calendar simply is that hot.
There's not even anything risqué about his picture. None of the pictures go beyond "this dude is chiseled and shirtless", because veering even slightly past the softest softcore territory would scare off the little housewives or something.
(Eddie is actually pretty fucking sure it'd increase the sales, but hey, what does he know.)
The point is, there's nothing that obscene about the pic. Just a guy kneeling in the back of an ambulance, first aid equipment scattered between his powerful thighs, shirt open to reveal his sculpted torso…
Dark hair spanning across his pecs, over his abs, vanishing down his tight tight tight pants. Hips canting upward, bringing attention to the size of his bulge beneath the zipper. Broad shoulders, ripped arms and large hands, veins protruding across the back. A pretty yet masculine face, with a strong jaw and a straight nose, full lips, a smattering of moles going down his biteable neck. Voluminous, golden brown hair swooped away from his twinkling eyes.
He's got this look in them, this slant to his mouth. Like he knows he's the hottest guy in the calendar.
The one month everyone will go crazy for.
Eddie has become intimately familiar with that look. No joke, in two years it's made him crack his marbles more than anyone else has done in his quarter-century lifetime. When all else fails, November-paramedic has his back. It's basically his longest relationship to date, which sounds a lot sadder out loud (and it sounded fucking sad inside his head, too).
You might wonder why any of that is relevant now, as he sits on the curb outside of The Behemoth with blood trickling from his temple, his band giving their statements to one cop while another hauls away the snarling douchebag that clipped him. How does it play a part in this god-awful night out, you ask?
Well.
"Sir?"
Eddie startles, too caught up in the thudding inside his head, made worse by the buzzing crowd, to notice the man approaching him. He looks up, his gaze gliding past uniformed legs, muscular forearms, a curved neck and honeyed eyes appraising Eddie, and oh.
Oh God.
Eddie's breath sticks in his chest and his tongue becomes a cognate to sandpaper, because it's the paramedic.
It's the paramedic. From the calendar.
He's hallucinating. He has to be. He collapsed on the sidewalk, and now he's having one last weird sex dream before his brain finishes seeping out and he fucking dies.
November-paramedic crouches in front of him. Eddie continues to gape like he's getting ready to catch the peanuts no one is tossing at him.
"My name is Steve. I'm with the ambulance," November-paramedic says. "What's your name?"
Eddie makes a noise incomprehensible to most Earth cultures before his brain registers the meaning of the question and stutters out the answer.
"I- Uh- E-Eddie. It's, it's Eddie."
November-paramedic – Steve – smiles kindly. Heat prickles across Eddie's cheeks and neck. It's not the same as the cocky, sexy smile he's got in the calendar, but still. He's smiling. At Eddie!
"Hi, Eddie." He nods toward Eddie's temple. "That's an impressive cut you got there. May I take a look at it?"
"Yeah? Yeah. Um, g-go ahead."
As Steve sets down his bag and rummages through it, Eddie scours his face to confirm that it really is the guy from the calendar. To his chagrin, it is. There's no mistaking it. Those eyes, like liquid gold. That jawline, a weapon in its own right. Those moles, applied so skillfully it must've been by an artist's hand. That hair, coming straight out of a commercial for luxury shampoo. It's lying flatter than in the calendar, either lacking product or having sweated it out, but it's still glorious.
Steve, having finished washing his hands, tugs on a pair of disposable gloves. The plastic snaps against his wrist, sending a shiver through Eddie. It centers between his legs. Shit, if he pops a boner now…
"I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?" Steve says while pressing a square piece of gauze against the cut. "Do you know what day it is?"
"Eh, Thursday?"
"Do you know where you are?"
"The Behemoth."
Steve nods and, with a lopsided smile, asks, "And are you a patron or did you and your head injury just wander onto the scene?"
Eddie laughs. Loud, merry, and verging on too long. It wasn't even that funny. Steve seems pleased his joke was a success, though. Unless his smile is the uncomfortable kind that one wears when faced with the unhinged. Eddie isn't sure how much blood he's lost.
"No, I, like, my band…" he says, stammering like talking isn't what he does best. Jesus Christ, it's just a hot guy! Eddie has made a fool of himself in front of those plenty of times – no need to get flustered about it. He clears his throat. "We had a gig and, after, at the bar, some guys got into a fight. Got ugly, so we tried to leave, but… alas!" He makes a dramatic sweep of his arm, nearly clocking Steve. Steve expertly ducks away without lessening the pressure on the wound. Eddie soldiers on, not daring to pause lest he lose his steam. Hopefully his burning face is enough of an apology. "Fucker wasn't even aiming for me. He missed his intended target and struck me instead."
"Right. Did you lose consciousness after he hit you?"
"Nope."
"Good. Did you drink tonight?"
"Half a beer, at most."
"Do-"
"Eddie!"
Gareth's nasally voice cuts off Steve's question. The next second, he's materialized beside them with a slightly alarmed expression. "Dude, are you…!"
He trails off, eyes growing into dinner plates. There isn't that much blood, is there?
Steve looks Gareth up and down, a crease between his brows. "Is this your friend?"
"My drummer. Gareth."
Eddie half-expects Steve to demand Gareth leaves so he can do his job in peace, but nope. That kind, calm smile is back. He even gives him one of those little upward-nods 'cool guys' like to do.
"What's up, Gareth? I'm Steve; I'm with the ambulance. Just making sure Eddie won't keel over later tonight."
"Uh huh…" Gareth kneels opposite Steve. He's smiling too, but his is shit eating. Eddie frowns in confusion, because what does Gareth have to be happy about? He was freaking out right after Eddie got hit, but now he's staring at Steve like-
Oh.
He's staring at Steve.
No. Noooooooooo! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Oh why, why has he kept his porn stash in a drawer without a lock all these years?! He can't recollect the reason Gareth opened that particular drawer on that particular day – all Eddie remembers is how Gareth, Jeff, and Marv snickered when he explained the inclusion of the calendar.
That was it, though. They moved on. Sure, there has been the occasional roasting after the fact, but it's not like he hasn't also mocked them for their weird shit. But that's not the point. The point is that Gareth is staring at Steve like he recognizes him.
Gareth's attention flicks toward Eddie. Eddie shakes his head as subtly yet pleadingly as he can. Gareth's grin gobbles down another turd. Eddie makes a valiant effort to explode Gareth's eyeballs with his mind.
"Say…" Gareth turns to Steve. "Have we met?"
"I don't think so. Eddie, do you have a headache?"
"Yeah, man," Eddie says, voice trembling. "Hurts like hell."
"I could've sworn I've seen your face before," Gareth says. "Like, I'm 100% sure."
"Are you dizzy or nauseous?" Steve asks, ignoring Gareth.
"Um, a little dizzy but no nausea?"
"Hmm, okay. Blurred vision or uneven numbness?"
"No."
Steve nods, glancing at his watch. Then, to Eddie’s dismay, he looks at Gareth. "I've never been to this bar before."
"Nono, not here. Somewhere else…"
Steve's lips purse and his brows knit into the most adorable thinking-face Eddie has ever seen. His heart skips a beat, then skips two more as Steve's free hand gently cups Eddie's cheek. The skin catches fire where Steve's gloved fingertips touch it.
"Let me have a look at your pupils…" Steve says, guiding Eddie's face and, holy shit, leaning in close for a better look.
Eddie gulps, half his blood rushing up and the other half down; he squeezes his legs together to prevent the little guy from saying 'hello' to everyone present. His eyes rove over Steve's face. His lips are chapped and the skin on his nose is dry. The nose itself is somewhat crooked. Did he get into a fight between the calendar photoshoot and now, or did they make the nose straighter for the photo? Why would anyone think it necessary to edit a face like this one? Even with its imperfections mere inches away, it's still the handsomest Eddie has seen.
Steve hums. It's a perfectly preserved vinyl. It's a metal festival. It's Eddie's new favorite song.
"Same size but pretty dilated… Keep your eyes open, please." He shines a tiny flashlight into Eddie's eyes before nodding, satisfied. "All right, looks good."
He leans back out of Eddie's space, returning Eddie's ability to breathe, and removes the gauze. His smile tells Eddie that the bleeding has stopped. As great as it is that he won't hemorrhage to death, it also means their encounter is approaching its end.
"You might've seen me at the university campus?" Steve says, fiddling with some plasters; it takes Eddie's horny brain five full seconds to deduce he's talking to Gareth again.
"No-" Gareth freezes, mouth hanging open. His smugness has evaporated. "Actually, I might have? You're a student?"
Steve chuckles as he patches the last of Eddie's cut. "No, but my friends are. None of them own a car, so I end up driving them everywhere. Right, Eddie, I think you're good to recover at home. Unless you feel like you should head to the hospital?"
Great question! Does he? On the one hand: riding in the ambulance with Steve, ensuring a few additional minutes of his lustrous eyes and smooth voice.
On the other hand: hospital bills.
"… no."
"Okay. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?"
Eddie shakes his head. "I live alone."
"Then maybe Gareth could hang around for the next 48 hours?"
"Sure can," Gareth says without hesitating. Eddie's heart swells with affection for him, despite his (failed! Hah!) plot to mortify Eddie to death.
Steve is already packing his medical bag.
"I want you to rest and avoid stressful situations," he tells Eddie. "No alcohol, no recreational drugs, no driving, and no working until you feel completely recovered. You may take tylenol, but not aspirin or ibuprofen. And if your symptoms worsen or you develop new ones – seek medical attention. Got it?"
The last part is sterner, reminding Eddie of every male authority figure he's strived to disobey during his teenage years. He has no such desire this time.
"Got it."
Steve raises his eyebrows as if to say 'have you really?', and Eddie has to wonder if it's he who seems contrariant and/or stupid enough to ignore the medic or if this is something Steve does with every patient. If it's the former, he mustn't seem that contrariant, because Steve's features soften into trust. He stands, brushing dust off his knees.
"Great. You boys take care now. Have a nice night."
"Yeah, you too, man," Eddie calls after him weakly as he retreats to the blinking ambulance. "Thanks…"
He keeps his gaze on the broad expanse of Steve's back, soaking in the rippling of his muscles as he walks and, oh would you look at that, his ass is as nice as the rest of him. Eddie's been wondering for two years now…
"Dude!"
Eddie jerks toward Gareth. Did he say that out loud? Did he drool? Is his boner showing? But no, Gareth isn't disgusted or disturbed – he's excited.
Shit.
He'll never hear the end of this.
"Don't!" he hisses.
Gareth just laughs, eyes twinkling.
"That was-"
"Don't!"
"I can't believe it!"
"Gareth-"
"You are so red right now!"
"For Jesus fucking Christ's fucking sake-"
------------------------------
Dedicated to @rougenancy for always listening to and encouraging my various thoughts, opinions, and ideas (they are constant).
Part 2
AO3
5K notes · View notes
elliebarker · 24 days
Note
yessss cc fic plz there’s not nearly enough
fuɔk me. ( c. clark )
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category: caitlin clark x girlfriend!reader (angst, fluff)
summary: after seeing you talking to another after one of her games, caitlin goes into an obsessive spiral of jealousy, unknowingly sending you down your own rabbit hole.
warnings: way sadder than i intended 
word count: 1.2k
author’s note: i tried capital letters, y’all fw it?
_________________________________________
“I mean, it was electric, truly.”
Caitlin’s voice echoed into the microphone of a random media reporter who was interviewing her. She tried her best to stay focused on the questions whilst the camera clicked and pump-up music blared. Iowa had just won a home game and she knew you were in the crowd. She regained consciousness with the present and began answering the interview questions with basic textbook answers about ‘the Iowa culture’ and how great her shots felt, whilst scouring the stadium for you. You interlocked eyes and waved to her. She waved back and politely wrapped things up with the media girl (hehe) and headed your way. 
In the minutes she had spent with her eyes off of you, an umich girl from the opposing team had walked up to you. She was, in Caitlin’s eyes, getting a little too friendly. Smirking, and smiling too wide. Caitlin backed away, choosing to head to her teammates instead and pose in photos with fans. See… people love me she thought. And we literally bet them and that fucking umich girl had the nerv-
“Caitlin!” you ran, hugging her from behind. “You do so good, omg!” 
“Thanks, babe.” She slipped away from you, cold and isolated. Caitlin spent the night with the girls on her team, which wasn’t irregular for away games, but you were looking forward to getting to spend time with her when she was actually in town. You were slumped in your apartment, staring at yourself in the mirror, picking a pulling at your skin, hair, and hair. Meanwhile, Caitlin was glued to her phone in the corner of the room her teammates were in. Staring at that umich girl’s stats and Instagram. Caitlin knew she was a good player, she knew she was a good girlfriend, she knew you. She knew you wouldn’t do her wrong but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. About finding someone different. She knew she wasn’t there for you all the time, on account of her schedule with basketball that seemed never-ending. She felt like a bad girlfriend. You deserved the world, more than she could ever give you.
Sounds of shoes squeaking and balls dribbling filled her ears as Caitlin entered Iowa’s gym. After nights of stressing, overthinking, and flashes of your interaction with the umich girl appearing in her head, Caitlin was ready to clear her head with some practice. She stretched, dripped the ball a bit, and began shooting. First shot, miss. She went and grabbed the ball. Second shot, miss. Everyone has bad days. The third shot, she could barely focus, overwhelmed with this stinging feeling of inferiority as she missed that basket. “Fuɔk me,” she muttered under her breath. She suddenly turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Kate was standing, now facing her. “Hey Caitlin, can we talk?” 
“Yeah of course, what’s up?”
“I’ve noticed you’ve been kind of off…down, you okay?”
“Um yeah,” she tried to hold her guard up, “yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled, “Need to lock in.” Kate laughed, agreed, and went on with her practice.
Later that day you, being friendly with the Iowa team, reached out to Kate. You texted her, 
You: hi kate!
i haven’t seen caitlin in a bit and just wanted to check in and make sure she’s doing okay
Kate: Hey! Thanks for reaching out, she has been acting a little weird. 
I was going to ask you but I guess you don’t know what’s up either.
You: no, i don’t know
has she talked about me?
at all?
Kate: No, not really. Is everything okay?
You: (…)
You stared at your phone for a solid five minutes attempting to keep your emotions under control.
You: yep! everything's good
just been a hot minute since ive seen her
but thats prob just cause shes so busy lol
Kate: Fair. But if anything does you can always talk to me.’
You: awww thanks kate! that's so sweet.
Days passed and you finally got a day to spend with Caitlin. You had invited her over to your apartment. You had excitedly and worriedly done up your hair and makeup, cleaned and refreshed every inch of your apartment: fresh sheets and fresh flowers, and made sure to wear an outfit you knew she liked. You felt it in your bones that your behavior was suspicious and 100% fueled by insecurity but you told yourself that you were doing this to make Caitlin feel comfortable, let her relax from working so hard. Totally not convincing her to want to stay with you. 
You and Caitlin were in your bed watching a tv-show and you could sense something was off. “Hey baby, can I get you anything?” you ask, trying to make yourself useful. 
“Um, yeah sure,” she replied, “water works.” You scoot yourself off the bed and head to the kitchen. Caitlin watches as you walk away, thinking about how you’re perfect in every way. She pulls out her phone, and her most recent search on instagram, umich bitch, is controlling her thoughts again. 
You come back with a glass of water for Caitlin and see she’s engulfed in her phone. Goddamnit you’ve bored her.
“I’m sorry,” you muster out. The stress of the possible end of your relationship that you conquered up in your head makes you almost fold into tears.
Caitlin sprung up, “Sorry, babe, sorry about what?” she went to hold you. You slithered yourself out of her arms,
“You’re probably sick of me, I need to stop holding onto you.” 
“What?” Caitlin asked, “Okay, first of all, I would never be sick of you. You are the most gorgeous, fearless, kindest, perfect girl I’ve ever seen. I would be crazy to ever let you go. But I know you deserve, you need better than me.” your tears turned to happy ones as you exclaimed,
“Caitlin what? You are the best girlfriend in the whole wide world.” You grabbed her face in your hands as hers found their natural place around your hips.
“I love you,” she whispered before moving her face close to yours and kissing you passionately. Your arms wrapped themselves around her neck as you leaned into the kiss. You slightly pulled away, whispering back, 
“I love you too.” Caitlin then pulled open her phone, to delete the umich player from her search history, but not without catching your nosy eye. “Wait. This was about her?” 
“What?” Caitlin said, trying to sound clueless.
“I spoke to her for five seconds? Wait…you were jealous?” you inquired. 
“No- I- who-” she stuttered, trying to deny it. “Also, I don’t get jealous.”
“You goofball,” you said, pulling her into a deeper kiss, to which Caitlin picked you up and plopped you back onto your bed, pulling you into her chest, and kissing your forehead.
“I don’t get jealous” she re-enstated.
“Mhmmmmm…” you replied, nodding your head, in a non-believeing tone. “Got it. Not jealous.”
“I’m being serious,” she said. You, too lazy to lift your head, nodded and closed your eyes falling into a deep sleep, to which Caitlin would follow you.
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rhys-writes-some-shit · 3 months
Text
"Sing to Me?"
Alastor x Reader (QP)
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Yawning, you trudged out of the bathroom, drying your hair loosely with a towel. You were warm from your shower and the filling meal you'd had a little while earlier. Alastor was probably the best chef you knew, a fact you were extremely proud of. Even if your preferred form of protein was banned from the hotel premises, Alastor was always able to make do with what he had.
Despite it being late at night, you grabbed your laptop (a very rare, not VoxTech one) to work on some paperwork. You'd promised your boss to get these spreadsheets done, and you weren't one to shirk on your promises. Yawning again, you tuned your old-fashioned radio before settling down with your laptop. The radio had been a gift from Alastor. Many late nights had been spent listening to his broadcasts. They'd always been a comfort, even before you'd signed a contract with him.
Some light jazz filtered through the static, one of your favorite songs. Alastor knew you were listening. Smiling lightly, you started typing away.
The music was occasionally interrupted by a bloodcurdling scream or a sharp whimper. Your smile never left, humming along while Alastor had his fun. Part of you was vaguely aware that the radio show was now being broadcast all throughout Hell, that you didn't even need the radio, but you liked it, so it stayed on.
The spreadsheets were simple enough. With the radio in the background, you were able to focus just enough that the job came naturally. In the back of your mind, you started going over the next day’s schedule.
You'd ended up zoning out while you typed, not even noticing how the radio switched to static and then turned off by itself.
A single knock preceded Alastor's entrance, enough to break you from your thoughts. You were quick to notice the faint blood splatter on the sole of Alastor’s shoes, the only evidence of his previous activities.
“My dear, you know how I abhor those vile machines,” Alastor reprimanded, walking and starting to subconsciously organize your room. A chair was pushed in, a painting adjusted so it was even, the bottom drawer of your dresser lightly closed.
“Yeah, yeah.” You grinned to yourself. “I need it to do my job, Al. Besides, do you have any idea how hard it is to find a piece of electronic equipment that's not created by VoxTech?”
“All the more reason to get rid of it.” Alastor walked over to the window and stared out at it. He was a little lost in thought himself, it would seem.
Typing a line, you said, “I liked your broadcast.”
“I'm glad.”
He was quiet. Something was wrong. Your grin died down, pushing your laptop to the side. Alastor’s smile was still there, but dimmer. Sadder.
“Al? You okay?”
“Nothing to concern yourself with, dearest,” Alastor replied, a slight edge in his voice.
You wanted to push. To get him to talk to you. But you knew it wouldn't be worth it. If anything, he'd just get upset or shut down more.
“You know, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if we'd met while we were alive,” You said nonchalantly. “I mean, obviously that would've been impossible in the first place, considering I wasn't even born when you died, but I just wonder about it.”
“What a ridiculous thing to wonder about!” Alastor laughed a little. “As you said, it would have been impossible. And why think about being alive when we have all of death to enjoy?” His tone lightened a bit. “There is so much entertainment to be had! Life was quite dull, comparably.”
You wondered for a moment, trying to figure out where to lead the conversation. “Where did you live, when you were alive? You already know where I lived when I was alive, it's only fair I know where you lived.”
Alastor’s grin softened a bit, still sad, but with a hint of happiness in there. Nostalgia, if you had to guess. “New Orleans, Louisiana. I lived there with my mother. I had a delightful job as a radio host.”
“You're still a radio host,” you teased playfully. “What was it like, back then?”
“Ah, it was… entertaining.” He didn't say anything more, lost in thought as he leaned on his cane. You were vaguely aware that you were the only person who ever saw him like this. Alastor wore his smile like armor, guarding himself with a nonchalant facade, but very rarely, behind closed doors, the guard would fall, just for a little while.
Just as you were about to open your mouth to ask another question, Alastor spoke, “You seem quite tired, my dear. Maybe it is time we part ways for the evening.”
Pressing your lips together, you knew he was right. You really should be getting to bed, but you were worried about Alastor. You hadn't seen him like this before, so it was impossible to guess what he'd do once he was alone.
“You really should learn to hide your emotions better.” Alastor turned suddenly, chucking to himself. “There is nothing to worry about, darling. I am perfectly fine.”
“Yeah, you say that, but for some reason I don't believe you.” Stifling a yawn, you gave Alastor a look.
“Now, now, don't be like that.” Alastor came and sat on the edge of the bed, using his magic to set the laptop on top of the dresser. “What can I do to convince you to sleep?”
Leaning back, you thought for a moment. When the idea hit you, your face flushed with embarrassment for a moment, but you swallowed the anxiety. He did ask, after all.
“Sing to me?”
Alastor laughed, causing you to glare. “Again with the ridiculous ideas!” When your face fell subconsciously, Alastor hesitated.
When he didn't say anything, you accepted the fact that it was a ridiculous request. Assuming he'd leave the room on his own accord, you used your magic to turn out the lights as you slid under the covers of your bed. You never did get all those spreadsheets done like you'd wanted.
“Parlez-moi d’amour.”
Alastor’s slightly-static-filled voice was quiet. His eyes faintly glowed in the dark and you watched him with wide eyes.
“Redites-moi des choses tendres.”
Smiling softly, you sank into the bed, closing your eyes and allowing Alastor’s comforting voice to wash over you.
“Votre beau discours /
“Mon cœur n'est pas las de l'entendre /
“Pourvu que toujours /
“Vous répétiez ces mots suprêmes /
“Je vous aime.”
((The song))
1K notes · View notes
A fluffy/ mild angsty valentines fic with Bucky where reader gets HIM flowers ( because of the whole guys don’t get flowers thing :((( ) maybe there’s some mutual pining and sweet confession? Like she gets the flowers for him because he makes some joke about not having had a valentine for nearly a century and she’s just like “absolutely not will not allow that >:(“ but he thinks it’s just a joke at first :(
Anyway thanks! Love you!
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Bloom.
bucky barnes x female reader
warnings - none
valentines masterlist. inbox. masterlist.
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“Are we almost done?”
Bucky looks so miserable, you can’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, we are. We just need flowers, and then we have everything on the list.”
He grabs the shopping cart and pushes it across the grocery store, determinedly marching in the right direction. You’re practically running to keep up with him.
“Which ones?”
You look at all the flowers, touching some of the petals gently as you decide.
“I’m not sure. What’s your favourite kind of flower, Buck?”
He looks at you with a blank expression.
“I don’t have one.”
“What?”
Now it’s your turn to look blankly at him.
“I’ve never been bought flowers. Why would I have a favourite type?”
You frown at him. The idea of Bucky never receiving flowers makes you much sadder than it should, but you’re trying to play it cool.
“Oh. Well… which of these do you like the look of the most? They’re going to go in the middle of the table in the kitchen, so they need to be bright. Give the room some colour.”
He circles the flower display a few times, looking around carefully. Eventually, he picks up a bouquet of tulips, all pinks and oranges and yellows.
“I like these.”
You smile softly, nodding your head.
“Good choice.”
You’re somewhat distracted as the two of you check out. You put the tulips in the bag carefully, glancing at Bucky every so often. He catches you looking, and can’t help but wonder what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
You’ve been standing outside Bucky’s door for the better part of fifteen minutes.
He knows.
He heard your footsteps, can hear your chest heaving, lungs working overtime. He’s just waiting for you to make your own decision.
Eventually, you do. After thirty minutes, you decide to just do it. You’ve got nothing to lose.
You knock.
Bucky swings open the door as if he’s been waiting for you, standing patiently on the other side.
“Breathe, honey.”
You didn’t even realise you’d been holding your breath. You exhale, never breaking eye contact with the man in front of you.
“Hi, Buck.”
“Hi, you.”
“I got you something.”
“You did?”
You grab the bouquet from where you’ve leant it against the wall, holding it out to him.
He stops in his tracks, brows furrowed in confusion.
“They’re… for me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
You inhale deeply, willing yourself to find some temporary courage.
“Because tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. And no one has ever bought you flowers.”
He’s smiling now, soft and knowing.
“You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met.”
He says it so sincerely, so genuinely, that it makes you want to cry. You hand the flowers to him, grinning as he admires them up close.
“They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
That takes you by surprise.
You and Bucky have always had a careful, consistent friendship. Ever since he first barrelled into your life, you’ve thrown tender smiles his way, nodding your head in acknowledgement every time he passed you in the hallways. He warmed to you, slowly but surely. Your kindness, your generosity, your genuineness - you’ve charmed him delicately, somewhat accidentally.
You’ve also been in love with him since day one.
You never thought to mention it - he’s healing, learning, growing as he goes, and you don’t want to halt his progress. So, you’ve pined from a distance, gently and quietly.
“Buck… will you be my valentine?”
He beams at you, the most luminescent smile you’ve ever seen from him.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’ve been working up the courage to ask you that every year since I met you. Knew you’d beat me to it.”
You laugh, stepping in closer to him. He puts the flowers down carefully, reaching out to cup your face in his hands.
“Can I kiss you, my valentine?”
You nod, already leaning in. He presses his lips to yours, and he swears he feels flowers bloom in his ribcage, bright and alive.
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safination · 2 months
Text
Partners in Death…and Life
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Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself
| Part 1: Radio's Not Dead |Part 3: Not Everything You Hear From The Radio Should be Trusted| Masterlist | ao3 Parings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem!reader, established relationship, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm still trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) Reader is in hell for a reason. Hello, I’m back :D This was supposed to be published yesterday, but I got busy. Anyway, thank you for all the likes so far. It motivated me to really finish this chapter. Also once again, I have everything planned out, it really is just a matter of writing it down. *Updated 28/02/2024 Just added some stuff that I thought made sense*
Flick…
Flick…
Flick…
Lights flicker above you with a slight buzz. You drape an arm over your eyes when the gleam of the bulb blind you.
The hardwood floors chill your skin, but it’s the sensation of casual loose clothing on your back that warrants your exhale in peace. Just a second. You just need a moment on these hard and chilling floors to ground you… just… one … single … moment to…
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
A stray feather pricks into your arm. The vane tickles, but the barb digs your skin. You’ve called this body ‘yours’ far longer than your human one, yet the feathers that grow on your skin still astound you. You twirl it around your fingers, and wave it in the air like a wand—it’s a proper animalistic feather.
Your nose scrunches into a hard scowl, and you jump up, stomping into the kitchen toward that untouched coffee mug on your counter. Grabbing it, you splash the contents down the sink, letting it flush down the drain.
The sponge is rough against your hands as you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub a̵̯͒n̴̤͝d̶̫͌ ̶͚̇y̶̤̎o̷͔̓u̶̢͐ ̸̓͜s̵̪͗c̸͎͂r̷̀ͅṳ̴̎b̸͖̀ ầ̷̩̯͍̙̳̍͗͘ń̵̰̞̰̕d̴͇̻̮̫̝̓̎̈́ ̶̡̬̬̮̺͗͒́̌͑y̴̙̘̻͇̿̉̐͆ǫ̷͉̟̍̅̑̏ŭ̸̖͓ͅ ̴̛̝͇̭̥̌́́̂s̸̠̑̽̏́c̷̥̺̃̾̊r̶̲̯̈́̈̄͆͊u̵̼̝͕̼̇̍̈́͘b̶͍͖͖̐̾͝.
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
You rinse the mug, slamming the cupboard door shut when you drop it next to your own clean one. Fingers run through your feather-hair…hair-feather, or your ‘whatever that grows on your scalp’. Some questions you’ve stopped asking.
An audible grumble… well, uhhhhh…. grumbles from where your stomach is placed in this body, and you munch on your lips to keep the inhumane screech from erupting into the kitchen and breaking all kinds of glassware and little knickknacks that Alastor filled your home with.
(These days, the old trinkets collect dust on your shelves. There haven’t been any new ones in years.)
Chopping Hell’s equivalent of carrots calms you. (It’s honestly the use of some type of razor-sharp object that calms you. You’d prefer a different razor-sharp object, but a sharp knife is a sharp knife, no matter the size.) You chop until there’s enough food to make a proper and decent meal that your stomach will accept.
You crash on the couch, dinner secured on a plate, and flip the television switch. Light flashes into the room when you do.
Ad about some impish business—Not interested.
‘Yeah, I fucked your sister, So what?’ — Boring.
Cooking Venison with Vox— Lame.
Settling on the lifestyle network, you munch on your food. Some poor slimy creature flashes across the screen, and it's her home that will be remodeled because of…something. You’re not sure what that something was. You don’t care enough to find out.
The sounds from the television swap with the silence of your living-room as you take each bite. It’s one of the sadder habits you’ve picked up since purchasing this noisy picture box.
Your eyes wander to that half-filled coat rack, while your ears listen in on the show and that woman did not just say that pink would go with brown. Only your singular coat drapes on the hinge, when this particular design was made to hold two.
A commercial plays for some-thing called the Hazbin Hotel.
Your eyes are stitched to the screen until the final note of the song plays, and a different advertisement takes its spot. You take a sip of your drink.  Just ą̷̖̯͈͂ ̷̡̧͚̤̩͎̙͇̞͓̟͈̤̝͉͉͉̘̉͐̓́̆́̇̍̐̿̈̄͜͜͜͝͝s̶̨̢̛̥̣̻̱̰̬̩̹̥̞̟̳̝͔͓͙̗̗͕̟͇̆̉̿į̴̡̢̠͇̱̤͔̙͎͕͛̑̓̒̀̔͆̓͂̃̚͘͘͠ṗ̶̡̢̨̳͙̦̮͍͓̻͎̲̪̲͕͛̔̐́̐̈́̒̒̉̎͛̆̈́̈́̉̔̑̃̕ͅ.
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
You blink, and you find your keys locking your front door.  Already, your legs are trekking down the garden stones. A flower snarls at you as the gate locks with a click.
Another blink.
 Huh…you’re on the bus.
The sign says it’s headed into the city. Living on the outskirts has always been beneficial for you. Not today, though. Today, the one-hour commute makes your feathers bristle.
You read the barely eligible address scribbled on the note, and pat your hair, smoothing the flared feathers sticking out. It seems…
Hmmmmm.
It seems you did not think this through. H-how…How are you going to get to the hotel?
Tagatha calls you a fossil for using one of those flippy telephones. You considered purchasing those fancy telephones with the lights and screens, and loud robotic voices telling you where to turn left, but learning to use a flip-phone brought enough stress for two lifetimes. You’ll happily stay a fossil.
Turns out, you don’t even need the address.
The Hazbin Hotel sticks out. It’s a humongous building with its name written across what you call the sky in blinding neon lights. Your vision zooms in, and you see that the hotel rests on a giant hill at the other edge of the city. Three large neon-lit arrows point to a crudely attached radio tower. Below it, a wooden ship hangs to the side. Circus light bulbs flicker with electricity.
The Hazbin Hotel is an eyesore – it’s exactly what Alastor prefers.
You reach the dinged-up metal gate on the bottom of the hill and reset your hand on the rusted latch. Trekking through the city took a lot, and you were already here. So, why are your legs frozen to the cement? Why does your heartbeat thump in your ears?
“Excuuussseeeee me.”
A snake towers over you. It’s your first time seeing such a slithery specimen as large as him. His hat rests on his hold, and it blinks at you. His hair … or was that skin … puffs out with two red sets of red eyes.
“Can I help you?” you say, warily. Sinners are in hell for a reason.
“Yessssh,” he says, his tongue slithering out. His flaps stick out, all four eyes staring right into your own. “I’d like to be a guessst at this hotel!”
You glance at the eye-sore that’s called a hotel. “I don’t work here.”
His flaps droop. The snake takes a deep breath, and slides the gate open, slithering in with determination in his … er… snake body.
You follow in silence.
The snake matches your pace. “Will you be a guest at this establishment as well?” he asks you. “Or were you given the same sssssuper secret mission?” Just like before, his tongue slithers out—what a funny little odd man.
Bangs grab your attention. When you focus your vision, you see an inky shadow servant striking a nail into broken wood. “Not at all,” you say slowly. “I’m just here to visit someone.”
His flaps open, and three pairs of eyes and a hat meet yours. “I am the great Sir Pentious!” he says with a proud hand on his puffed-up chest. “Inventor. Architect of destruction. Villain extraordinaire!”
You give him your name “….Doctor.”
“It is only the coward who attacks a battler of health.” His flaps droop as he sinks into himself. “You cannot be my rival, I’m afraid.”
“I guess that makes you brave,” you say, humming. The decorations for the hotel are rather dull. Drawn on the middle of the hill, a giant pentagram is etched on the ground. The flowers dwindle on the cliff edge, and do little to combat the grayness surrounding you. “What a shame to hear—I rather love good rivalries.”
The eyes on Sir Pentious’ hat brighten at the same time his own do as well. “Ssssso do I!”
One of the inky shadow servants waves at you.
You wave back.
Light streams from the glass doors. You blink a few times, adjusting to the sudden change of brightness. Circus-themed stained glass decorate the front entrance. One of the less tacky – but still tacky – designs of this hotel.
Sir Pentious taps the glass with the tips of his finger, clinking with each tap, and his eyes water in excitement. His nose crinkles when he takes a deep breath. You weren’t aware he even owned a nose. Sir Pentious fiddles with the flap of his hat, and bangs on the door.
Your smile strains after a minute of banging.
A young lady with long, white hair creaks the door open. You recognize her from the commercial.
Sir Pentious’ flap open and close with each word as he says, “Why, hello, my dear –”
A punch to the face is his reply.
“Oh dear!” you screech. Sir Pentious drops to the ground, and you kneel next to him, a steady hand on his slimy shoulders. “Have you no manners?”
This insolent girl points her spear and stomps a foot on Sir Pentious. She snarls, and her glare hardens.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Sir Pentious’ tongue slithers out as he holds a peace-sign. “I come in peacccccceeeee”
“What are you doing here?” Her spear inches closer.
“Vaggies,” another voice calls out. A blonde with a red pantsuit and a bowtie pokes her head, eyes in a squint. O-oh! You know this lady from the commercial. The Princess of Hell … Cady … Char …Charlie Morningstar! “What’s the problem?” Charlie’s eyes widen when she spots you and Sir Pentious, an honest smile drawn on her face. “Oh, hello again! And hello to you as well!”
“Can you please tell this insolent girl to get her food off this gentleman,” you spit, tilting your nose into the air. Your feathers sharpen when you bristle. “And your weapon away from my face.”
Vaggie takes her foot off Sir Pentious. She holds the spear close, but it’s away from your face.
Sir Pentious straightens into a stand, and the group prattles on.
No one bothers to help you. A huff escapes, and you brush the dirt off your skirt. Absolutely no manners. Insolent and ill-mannered.  Would Alastor stay in such a place?
You’ve never laid an eye on someone as unique as this Vaggie. Her hair patterns are similar to wings. It’s almost unheard of to see such a prominent ‘x’. Her flared eyelashes resemble a bird. It strikes you silly. Almost everyone in hell resembles a human body with animal characteristics hidden somewhere. This insolent girl doesn’t appear to have any of that – only miniscule feathers made to appear native to Hell.
“Absolutely!” Charlie exclaims to who you think is Angel Dust. (The porn-star, not the drug. Obviously.) Sir Pentious nods with the sweetest smile on his face. There’s a squeak every time he bobs his head. That hat of his looks nervous.  “This place is about second chances and who deserves one more than this…slithery…slippery…special little man.” Charlie takes a peek at you. “Oh, and this feathery…sheddy… and round-eyed woman.”
You do not shed.
You smile at Charlie, and give her your name, “…and I expect it to be used.”
Angel Dust whips to Vaggie. “Aren’t you supposed to protect this place?” he says and turns to you. “How are we even sure we can trust this lady – no offense, toots.”
“None taken,” you say, dryly.
Charlie’s eyes water when she turns to Vaggie, who easily relents with a sigh.
You’re thrust through the apple and circus-themed doors, squinting at the chandelier. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the design—it reminds you of those old rolled films. Charlie leads you and Sir Pentious further down the hall, all but pushing you in. Vaggie and Angel Dust lag a few steps behind.
Charlie waves her arms to go into an enthusiastic point. “So…this is our bar,” she says. Husk drops his drink, a scowl on his face, “and the bartender. This is the curtain, and this is the new wall after Sir Pentious broke the last one. And this is—”
Vaggie calms her down.
The bar clashes with the red wallpaper of the hotel. It’s almost as if someone just dropped it there, and etched it to the very wall. The wood is firm underneath your touch and feels exactly like what wood should feel.
You turn towards the bar and take your seat. Husk focuses on his drink. “Hello,” you say with a gentle voice that should not be mistaken for kindness. “It’s good to see you, old friend.”
Husk chokes and splatter out his drink, but you only smile at him. He coughs and his ears droop low. “Uh…yes,” he starts. “Good to see you as well.”
“There’s no need to be nervous.”
“I’m not.”
 “Good.”
You run your finger across the skeleton wrapped around the bar post. A memory tickles your brain. This is one of the many specimens you owned. It took one whole month to strip the muscle off its tight hold on the bones, and another month just to clean, bleach, and wire together. The heads above the bar sign were a gift to you, and the skeletons were your gift back.
The neural spine pokes your finger as you tap each one. “I see you’ve set up shop here.”
Husk scowls, taking another swig of his drink. “Not much of a choice.”
“And tell me,” you start, “how long have you been here?”
Husk doesn’t answer you.
Charlie calls your name, and waves you over. “Over here,” she says pointing to where Niffty plays with some kind of one-eyes cat, “we have our maid—Niffty!”
Niffty hops on Sir Pentious. “The bad boy is back!” she exclaims, pulling him closer, eyes wide and shaking. A bead of sweat drops from Sir Pentious’ hat. “Never leave me again.”
“We’re about 80% sure she’s harmless….” Charlie prattles on.
“Hello, Niffty.” You smile at her.
She jumps off Sir Pentious, landing with a small ‘humph’, and strides to you with her pointy short legs. She calls out your name.
You squat, meeting her eye. “It’s great to see you again—Is Alastor forcing you here?”
Her eyes shine with an innocent type of glee. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” She claps her hands. “I get to chase all the bugs here.” Nifftly leans closer to you, giggling. “Can I be strapped to your table again? I love it when you slice me open.”
 “Maybe next ti—”
Charlie grabs your arm, hauling you forward. “Oh! Uh, Alastor! Our gracious facility manager! You've met our newest guest Sir Pentious…hehe…,” she tells him. Charlie keeps pulling you, only stopping when you stand before a grand staircase. “These two will be our special wonderful guests!”
Alastor does little to show you what he feels, there’s just that same empty grin.
He bought a new coat, you note. This new one has white streaks on the new collar and less stripes. Guess some things were more important than others.
You slip out of Charlie’s tight grasp. “I think you’re mistaken, my dear,” you say. “I’m not a guest— just a visitor.”
You hold your husband’s gaze and greet him.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
“It’s good to see you,” you say, a smile drawn on your lips. “How are you doing on this wonderful morning?”
Alastor turns to you, drops an item into his grocery basket, and blinks. “I am amazing!” he says. He grabs your hand with his gloved ones and shakes it. His hands are warmer than you expect them to be. “Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite the pleasure.”
You chuckle at him. “Yes, I’m aware of who you are.”
“Oh, how lovely!” He waves his fingers. “ are you on of my many fans?” His smile strains, and there, you see it, on the corner of his cheek. His nose flares and his smile takes the appearance of a snarl. Maybe it was the other way around.
“A bit,” you admit, adjusting your hold on the basket. “How are your stitches, Sir?”
His eyes widen—brown eyes, you note. “The good doctor!”
“I think you mean the good nurse.”
“Oh yes, yes,” he hums and inches the basket away from your gaze. “I’ve been taking my medicine, and replacing my dressing every three days, just like you said.”
“Good—that’s great to hear. No more accidents?”
“None!” He laughs. “And if one does happen, I’ll be sure to present you with an injury that is only hours old.”
A giggle slips through your lips. “That’s even better to hear,” you say. You clear your throat, tightening the hold on your basket. “I’d hate to take even more of your time. I’ll let you go on with your day.”
A firm grip on the basket handles keeps your feet planted on the glossy floor of the general store. “Not so fast, my dear. I think you still owe me,” he says. Your teeth bare into what you hope is a polite smile. “You promised to show me your marvelous embroidery the next time we meet! You’re not the type of lady to go back on your word now, are you?
“You sure do know how to put such ladies into a tight spot.”
Alastor laughs, breathy and light. “I assure you; I don’t mean to. I tend to get very excited about art
“Well, with you holding my integrity hostage, and the addition of such lovely enthusiasm, I find myself having trouble refusing.” You reach into your purse and pull out a clean handkerchief. “Sadly, I wasn’t expecting the general storm to be an art gallery, so this will have to do.”
And there it is again, that same breathy and light laughter. “They really do have everything in here
Alastor takes your handkerchief with steady enthusiasm, studying each stitch carefully. It’s one of your simpler designs—tiny flower bouquets scattered across the fabric. Your eyes are drawn to the contents of his basket: rope, strong acids, latex gloves, rolls of plastic wrap, and other such interesting items.
“You have such beautiful handiwork.”
“You can keep it if you wish,” you tell him. “I have thousands back home, and I’m always weak to such flattering compliments— a real boost to my ego.”
“Splendid!” Alastor slips the handkerchief into his coat. “I love receiving gifts from fans.”
You smile at him to hide your frown. You are not some fan-girl. “Of course.”
Alastor is following you.
The conversation ended several beats of silence ago, but he trails behind your every step. You skip the aisle where they sell produce, stop to grab some eggs, ask the butcher for 50g of chicken liver, and smile back when he smiles back. You sigh and lead Alastor to the end of the general store, and into an aisle.
You snatch a glass bottle of chemicals off the shelf—they really do have everything here. “Going for a hunt soon?” you ask, and read the label.
His smile brightens as he says, “Why yes! There was this wonderful prey that I spotted the other day, and I’m just dying to have his head hanging on my wall.”
You offer him the bottle. “You have a lovely coat. It would be a shame for it to be ruined by stains,” you say. “This always does the trick when dealing with the redder parts of my job.”
He takes the bottle from you.
“Take this as well,” you say and reach into your basket. “It’s the last bottle of 12% hydrogen peroxide in this store, but you need it more than I do. A ratio of fifty-fifty of this and a bit of hair developer in a bucket of water should brighten up your bones. Just let it soak for a day. Oh…and just in case, those two chemicals are safe to mix. You should avoid doing so, but an accident wouldn’t hurt you.”
Alastor offers his basket, and you drop the bottle along with the other hazardous substances. “You sound certain.”
“That is because I am.”
Fate has granted you a humorous shopping companion, and you decide to stop fighting it. Alastor follows you to the bread aisle.
You point to the top shelf. “Can you…?”
He drops the bread into your basket, and stares at you with what you think is curious tenacity.
“My father works as a butcher,” you say, sighing. “He prides himself on catching the venison he sells. We don’t believe in wasting a precious body, so we use it until there is nothing left to give. He came back from his own hunt and wanted to add another antler to his display
Alastor hums. “Won’t you need these then?”
“There’s still a bit leftover sitting in his workshop. I just came to get an extra bottle.”
Alastor continues to follow.  “Do you often aid your father in his work?”
“Not as frequent as when I was a teen, but I still aid him when I have the time to do so,” you say. “It’s how I got to be so normal around a knife —the sharp ones are the best, they cut right through the skin, and with enough force, the bones as well. I keep a little collection of bones at home.”
“Such interesting hobbies you have.”
You pick up two coffee bags and hum. “Thank you.”
His bowtie is crooked. You point to inform him and reach out to straighten it. Alastor jerks away and spins to reach into the shelf behind you. “I rather detest owing favors, and you have done me two,” he says, offering you an entirely different brand of coffee beans. “I suggest you try this one. It’s flavors are far richer.”
You offer your basket and Alastor drops it right in.
You eye his basket once more. “Will that be all you’re purchasing?”
He nods, smiling at you.
You smile back.
Well, isn’t this just lovely? Well-dressed gentlemen really are your favorite.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Charlie whips her head, mouth wide as she stares at you and then at Alastor. Angel Dust has an arm on his hips, his brows furrowed and mouth quirked to the side an awkward but rather cute frown. Sir Pentious’ hat squints at you with what you assume is confusion—you can’t really tell. Sir Pentious’s tongue sticks out of his bewildered and crooked frown. “Oh! How nice,” Charlie says after a beat. “So, you two know each other?”
“Partners,” you say
“Friends,” Alastor says
Your smile strains as you say, “To be called a friend by the Radio Demon is quite the honor.” Alastor wipes his monocle with a proud puff.
Angel Dust whistles, leaning on the railing with the first set of arms crossed, and the second propped on his hip. “Didn’t think Freak would be the type to have friends.”
“Neither did I!” You say with a loud laugh. “Well, that’s what I am – a f̵̼̎r̴͔̃i̶̦̍e̶͕͠ṋ̸̀d̶͚̋.” You smoothen your puffed-up feathers. “Apologies.”
More introductions are done. Charlie insists on giving Sir Pentious his first lesson on apology. It goes about as well as you think.
Charlie winces a bit “….Ooooookay,” she says and inhales to plaster a huge smile. “Why don’t we… uh… take a look at the kitchen!”
Angel Dust takes one look at Charlie’s enthusiasm, winces, and says he’s getting a drink.
Charlie’s death grip on Sir Pentious stays firm as you trudge to the kitchen. She stalls at every painting to explain its history, and introduces every crack on the wall, showing it off with an enthusiastic glee. Even the water-stained wallpaper gets its own special moment during the tour. (Where is that ill-mannered girl when you need her?)
You lag a few steps behind. “Alastor…”, you say as a greeting.
Alastor matches your pace, using his microphone as a cane. With the very tip of his fingers, he plucks a stray feather off your hair with a coy smile that reaches from ear to ear. “I’m sure you’ve been wondering how I’ve been fairing these last few years,” he says, spinning that microphone of his and waving his hand like some kind of street performer.
“Has it really been that long?”
“Yes, I know I’ve been absent for some time,” he starts. “It’s nothing serious; I assure you. It’s nothing I cannot handle as well.”
 “My goodness, and here I thought you were occupied at work.” Your teeth flash when you smile. “But in any case, it’s quite… kind… of you to soothe what little worry this friend might have for you.” Alastor and his microphone laugh at you, but you hum with satisfaction when his eyes narrow into a glare.
Charlie and Sir Pentious wave their hands, calling you from across the hall, and you hasten your steps.
The kitchen intimidates you. So many large and metallic machines. You’re sure it would be a living hell should you ever need to operate such an unorthodox set of appliances.
Copper-red tables fill the space, and similar colored cabinets stick to the wall. Such peculiar stoves they have in this establishment. There seems to be no space for the gas tank, nor a gas burner, just some flat glass with weird markings. You prefer the appliances stashed at your home.
“This…,” Charlie starts, winding her arms to a point, “…is the kitchen!”
Sir Pentious’ flaps extend, his arms rocking with excitement. “Such lovely metallic inventions.” He slithers to counter with a dip that appears to mimic some kind of skin. There’s some type of yellow liquid. “This bubbly torture deviccceeee is my favorite.”
“Uhhhhhh…I love that you love the kitchen appliance,” she says with an honestly gentle smile. “But that’s actually an oil fryer.” Charlie crosses her arm into a big ‘x’. “But no torturing is done here, no siree.”
“What a peculiar shape for an oil fryer to be,” you say, taking a look. Alastor glances over your shoulder to take a peek as well. “And there’s so much metal around—did you run out of paint, perhaps?”
Charlie frowns, her shoulder dropping low. “I’d love to add different colors to the machine, but Vaggie says it would take up too much money and time.”
Her frown lasts a second before she’s smiling again.
 “Oh oh oh! You should take a look around. See if there’s anything you might want to add.” Charlie drags you towards one of the cabinets at the back. “We each have a shelf dedicated to our own snacks, but I always love to leave cookies on the communal snack pantry.”
Charlie prattles on, introducing each section of the cabinet. You watch Alastor warily when he shows his teeth. He wiggles his fingers across the air, reaching towards the shelf where Charlie just mentioned Vaggie storing her personal snacks. You slam the cabinet door before he reaches them.
Soft static fills the kitchen air.
“Go on,” Charlie urges. “Take a look around – I know some species of Sinners have specific dietary needs.” She props a hand on her chin. “Like Angel! He can’t seem to be able to have any milk—I wonder why? But he just keeps drinking it anyway for some reason.”
Does the Princess of Hell not know what Lactose Intolerance is? Maybe because she’s never lived as a human. It’s quite humorous, you suppose. A hell-born trying to guide a human, with little to no insight about humanity. Could this be the reason why she’s so naively optimistic?
Sir Pentious’ smile widens, and so does his flap. “You’re… giving…me permission to poke around?”
“Er…yes?”
You open a random cabinet door, and huh…
On the shelf, towards the back, you have the same set of spices in your own kitchen. One of the bottles here has its label stained and fraying at the edges. Another bottle is nearing empty, and the corner of the cap has been chipped off. There was a time, when your own set of spices was stained with oil, and its label frayed because of the constant picking to the edges.
Yesterday, you threw out a set of unopened bottles of spices, its seal still clinging to the caps and brimming with unused flavor, and replaced it with the same set of sealed spices. It’s a waste of your money to keep throwing out something that you never use, but…but…you find it in your grocery basket every single time.
Alastor closes the cabinet with a gentle click.
Your smile fades, and he holds your gaze.
“You are shedding all over my kitchen floors.” Alastor presents you with a bundle of your feathers bunched up on his palm. His grin mocks you.
You turn away, heading where Charlie and Sir Pentious converse. You do not shed.
Alastor pops out of your shadow, towering over you as he inches closer. “Long day?” he says with a hum, that smile still on his face. “You don’t usually start molting until the mid-summer.”
“Oh yes,” you say with a hum, that frown still on your face. “This day has been quite long. How very generous of you to check up on this friend of yours.”
He holds the feathers he’s collected, examining them with a careful eye. “With this rate, you’ll be able to gift a whole pillow.”
Your frown deepens. “Lovely,” you murmur. “I’ll make sure to do so.”
Alastor twirls his microphone and lands it with a soft thunk. He studies you for a second. “Rosie’s last husband got eaten by a shark,” he says. “Not even a loan shark—just a proper dead shark. She swore vengeance on the creature for taking a bite before she had a chance to.”
“What?” you say, and you can’t help but chuckle. “Is that what happened to him? She would be so vague about it when I ask.”
Alastor draws a line along his face, mimicking a smile with his fingers. “Much better, indeed.”
Charlie insists on showing the view from the top of the Hotel. Her arms cross around your own as she chatters about everyone and everything. It’s refreshing to meet a soul as honest as hers.
The elevator ride is painfully slow. The music strains your ears, and this battered metal death box jerks with every floor.
Sir Pentious and his hat scowl at the ‘absolutely inferior ssssmmelting of this handle, Charlie’ and ‘this piss poor wiring. The endsss are not aligned to the proper sssssafety guidelineeeesss’ or something.
Charlie listens in on every word, nodding to indicate that she hears each and everyone. It makes you smile. Alastor picks at your stray feathers with the tip of his fingers, preening the areas you have difficulty reaching.
Moments too late, the elevator doors open with that heavenly ding.
“The view up here is helltastically a-mazing!” Charlie informs the group. “Alastor, you often hide up here or inside the radio tower. It’s really good, right?”
Alastor switches his hold on the microphone, swinging to catch it. “Quite helltastic indeed!” he says. “ I get to see the whole city underneath my very feet.”
Sir Pentious nods. “I, too, would love to sssseee the city underneath me!”
Alastor swings a door open, gesturing for the group to enter like a gentleman.  Charlie whispers an audible ‘awww’ at the sight and saunters right in. Sir Pentious follows along, slithering behind her.
He shuts the door when you take a step forward, separating you from Charlie and Sir Pentious.
There’s still that never ending smile on his lips as Alastor strides to the other end of the hallway, playing with his microphone. You follow behind in silence. Alastor opens a different door, and this time, you step through.
Alastor closes the door, leaving you and him together, alone, on this flimsy balcony. He beams at you, taking a step forward—
You slap him.
Radio static glitches from his microphone. There, on the corner of his cheek, you see the strain in his smile. His eyes harden into a glare, his nostrils flare, and his smile takes on the appearance of a snarl.
The air around you starts to gray with static. Symbols carve themselves into the space.
You slap him again, staring down at him.
“Is that all you came to do?” Alastor says to you with a low snarl, but the symbols dissolve and his antlers shrink.
You turn towards the view, propping a hand on your chin. “Such harsh words for a friend,” you say with a sarcastic smile. “It’s a wonder why you don’t have more with such a dazzling personality. At any rate, it’ll be impossible to find yourself a wife.”
His eyes twitch, and Alastor strikes the ground with his microphone. “Well, consider it an honor,” he says, inching closer, mimicking your smile. “Not many can say such words to me, much less be able to strike my flesh
“Maybe they should—someone certainly has to.”
Alastor still has a smile—he always has a smile. You watch as his eyes morph into radio dials, and the absolute audacity of that man to look at you like that.
Your feathers sharpen and crack at the sight. “D̷̝̈́o̷̞͊n̷̟̂'̷̗̏ť̵͔ ̴̱̀f̷̳̓u̴͍̓c̷̛͕ḳ̵͝ ̴̲̽w̸̞̑í̵̞t̴̼̐ḥ̷͝ ̵̫͌m̸̻̔e̸̡͘!— you never have, so don’t start. Don’t test me—not today, my deerest,” you say, hissing at him. 
“What is it that you want, exactly?” he says, glancing down at you. “Unless you are a child, I expect you to use your words.”
“You know I’m not just some friend — you do not allow yourself to make such connections. We’re partners,” you tell him, and you don’t know why you remind him when he should already know. Was it in fear that he forgot? “But you left without as much as a word.”
“Was it that I left? Or was it that I left you?” Alastor says with casualty as if to show you such dismissal, and oh…yes, your husband can be a cruel man, indeed. Time and sweet smiles made you forget.
You rub your hands on your face, taking one deep breath. “I want what I deserve—an explanation,” you say. “That’s all I need as your wife.”
It’s his silence that makes you turn away. 
“I see…” Your face falls. “Perhaps, it was a mistake to seek you out. A fool’s errand.”
You study the sinners below. The whole city really can be seen from underneath your very feet. (You ignore the trembling of your fists. You’re a doctor, for fucks sake. Your hands don’t tremble…at least, they never have before.) 
Hesitant, but gentle touches pick at your feathers. Alastor preens you with warm hands. “You are not a fool, my love,” he says. “I would not be yours if such were the case.”
You harden your heart for you cannot let this man see the cracks. “This is not what I wish to hear,” you say, voice steady.
Alastor does not answer you.
“Will you just stay silent every time?”
“Yes.”
Finally, you meet his gaze. You hold it as much as he holds yours. “ There is not a thing in this world that you do not do without reason,” you say slowly. “However,  I’m not sure if your silence is because you cannot or if it’s because you will not explain yourself to me. Which is it?”
There is nothing on his face that you can read, just a small steady smile that tells you nothing. “I will not.”
“I know you, my deerest, and I know that you’ve never once led me astray.” Your grip on the railing tightens painfully. This day has been long. “Then all I need is your word that you will return to me with that smile of yours when you’ve accomplished what you need to do.”
Alastor smiles at you, twirling his microphone. “We can even shake on it.”
You shake your head. “This is not a deal,” you say. “This is your wife demanding that you do so.”
“Then it shall be done,” Alastor says, inching close enough for his warmth to spread.  He turns to you and pokes his cheeks to indicate a smile. "You look much more radiant with one."
You bare your teeth at him, giving a dry smile. “Much better?”
“Indeed.”
You study the sinners below once more, but this time your hands stay steady next to Alastor’s own. Well, Charlie was correct, the view is helltastic. The entertainment district blinds you, but only for a second. And when you sharpen your vision, you can faintly make out acid clouds forming on the outskirts of the city. You should have grabbed an umbrella on your way out.
“I heard you on the radio today,” you say.
He glances at you, his smile widening ever so slightly with smugness. “And you came all this way for me?”
“Well, that is what good friends do for each other.”
Alastor points his nose to the air with a huff.
“I only jest, my deerest,” you say, chuckling at him. “ I came all the way here to see if I’ve been widowed a second time, or just dumped like a common rag.”
“Is that so?”Alastor hums with dissatisfaction. “I’m sure you mentioned something about not noticing such a long disappearance.”
You hold his gaze, inching your hand to cup his cheek. You stop inches above his skin, and your palm hovers enough for Alastor to feel the warmness you hold on your hands. “Don’t pout, my deer,” you tell him, softly, oh so very soft as you caress the air. “Of course, I noticed your absence.” 
You clap your hands together with the brightest and most innocent smile you can muster.
“But if I told you that, my deerest,” you start, “I feared that big head of yours would implode if I fed your ego.”
Alastor laughs, and his real voice bleeds in as he does. “That humor of yours has been my most wonderful companion all these years.”
You smile with satisfaction. “My, my, you make such fine compliments.”
His smile relaxes. “I do, indeed!”
“Just as you say that my humor makes a fine companion,” you say as you laugh, bright and heavy, “that smile of yours has been mine.”
A knock breaks the moment.
The door swings open, slow and hesitant. Charlie pokes her head, and her hair droops to the sideways. Behind her, Sir Pentious waves at you. You wave back.
“Oooooooohhhh….yikes,” Charlie says, shrinking deeper into the door. “Am I interrupting? I could just go an—”
“Not at all my dear,” you say. “Come right in. You have such a lovely view, and things like this are better when shared.”
Charlie swings the door wider, sauntering right in, and grabs your hand, squeezing it. “You could live here as well!” she says. Behind her, Sir Pentious nods with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. “We accept everyone.”
You flicker your gaze to Alastor. “I already have a home,” you find yourself saying. “And this place is far too close to the city. So much honking and blasting aren’t good for my ears.”
Charlie pouts, but she doesn’t press you.
The view is better when shared. Charlie points at every detail and explains everything you see. The sky darkens to a red, and too soon, it’s time to leave.
There’s a warm, but firm, hand resting on your back when you walk out the door, down the hall, and into the elevator. Alastor keeps his hands steady, even when you reach the common room.
Vaggie is the first to greet your group—well, it’s more appropriate to say she greets Charlie, and you just happen to be there. There’s a bag by her feet. “I was able to find the costumes you need for the exercise,” she says. “Even the giant lollipop is here.”
Charlie squeals. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Her excited gaze filters to you. “I have this wonderful game in mind, and then we could fo a bit of some of that good ol’ roleplay.” Angel Dust quirks a smile from the couch. “You should totally sta—”
“I’m afraid not,” Alastor says, drumming his fingers on his microphone. “I think it’s time for our visitor to head home. She’s had quite a long day.”
“Oh, of course. No worries!” Charlie says, giving you a bright smile—a real genuine and honest smile. “Feel free to come by anytime. The Hazbin Hotel’s doors will always be open should you change your mind.”
Vaggie scratches her face. “Before you go, I want to apologize for this afternoon,” she says. “It wasn’t right of me to be so hostile—I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, my dear. I understand,” you say quickly, ignoring the static behind you. “You were protecting something you cared about. I find great value in those who do.”
Vaggie smiles, and maybe she’s not too bad after all. “Thank you.”
From the couch, Angel Dust props his legs and waves at you. “And you’re welcome to open these doors any day.”
Alastor leads you to the door. You wave back at Niffty and Sir Pentious, whose eyes water as he frowns. Alastor’s hand stays firm as you trudge down the hill, past the rusted gate, into the city, and to the correct bust stop.
“You sure know how to find the most interesting groups of people, my deer,” you say. “Charlie and that hotel of hers are wonderful.”
Alastor adjusts his monocle. “Well, you know me. I see potential, and I follow it wherever it leads.”
“Should I be worried?” you say, chuckling. “The last time you saw potential, it ended with us married.”
“Not at all, my love.”
“You should continue to stay at the hotel,” you find yourself saying. “There’s just something about it—I think you’ll pick up quite a lot from your time there.”
His bowtie is crooked. You point to inform him, and reach out to straighten it. Alastor inches closer. The fabric is smooth underneath your touch. There’s stray lint on the shoulder of his coat, and you brush that away. You grab the lapes and adjust its fit, smoothing the fabric beneath your fingers.
“Much better?” he asks.
“Indeed,” you say, softly.
“I will see you soon,” he says, and you hear the unspoken promise and question hidden beneath his words.
“Good.”
Alastor tilts your chin with the tips of fingers. (And oh…oh. His gloves are off, and his hands are warmer than ever) He presses his lips on your cheek.
That blasted bus arrives too soon. You step inside, but turn to your husband and say, “Next time, when you disappear for several years, I expect to be informed and not just left with a vague note,” you say with a huff. “And when you return, I also expect to be the first to be informed.”
“Of course.”
“See to it that you keep your word.”
The bus door closes, and you take your seat. You smile to yourself and lean back on the crusty bus fabric. Patting your pocket, you take out a single gold band, slipping it on your finger.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
That habit of recklessness in moments of excitement was something your father hoped you’d grow out of. Thinking things through never really was one of your many strengths when such an exhilarating opportunity presents itself.
You scold yourself for not double-checking for gloves. Measure twice, cut one, and all that. But no matter, you’ll push through as always, clawing and digging to unearth the treasure left behind.
Your scalpel fits into your palms. Throughout this Earth, no… not just Earth, but Heaven and Hell as well, nothing will ever be as perfect.
You sigh, breathy and exhilarated, and begin.
‘First, do no harm’
But this…this does not harm a single living being.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
If you guys know who Olivia and Stolar are, that's what I imagine when I think about the reader's hair. Also, maybe some of you noticed, but I'm very relaxed when it comes to formatting my writing. Its why I use quite a lot of ellipses and em dashes and utilize italics and spaces. But the one thing I was very strict about was not to use the word, "miss". So there are no "You miss..." and "I miss..." But the words are there and spoken beneath actions and thoughts, hidden and unspoken, but known. My inbox is always open because I'd like to know what your favorite unspoken "I miss you" is/are. I have my own favorite ones as well.
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