#yes sam hates dean the one who he tried everything in his power to save from the mark | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mittensmorgul · 3 years

Note

Mittens, I know that some people are rejoicing over Castiel's vision in 12x19, but personally, I started crying when I realized that Cas gave up so much for love and faith in his family, and got teased with that vision of the future - a paradise he wanted for them, for himself - but never approximated that in the end. It's just so heartbreaking and I feel like I'm mourning him all over again and it just really sucks. Idk.

Hi hi!

The vision also hurts my heart, deeply, but maybe for slightly different reasons...

I have been suffering throughout the last few seasons over Cas's overall arc, and this vision, in that moment in 12.19, when Cas was literally (in text! from Dean's mouth!) desperate for a win, is just excruciating to me. And I'll tell you why.

in the mixtape scene, this was Cas's lament to Dean. He wanted to come back with a win FOR DEAN, and FOR HIMSELF. He wanted Dean to think of him as the "hero" or the "savior."

I will pause to ask here: since when has Dean ever wanted that? Ever since Cas gripped him tight and saved him from Hell, Cas has struggled to step out from that role of Protector. Shield.

This was the Big Mistake he made in s6, right? Everything that went wrong was framed around the fact that he was trying to "protect" Dean. This is why he bought into Crowley's plan, why he left Dean in the dark even after he got dragged back into the fight, and why everything ultimately ended with Cas's literal death. Like... the narrative judged him. In 6.20, all he was left with was Dean's disappointment, and a drive to prove that he was actually right (he was not actually right...).

Even in 12.19, he was "playing them" all along. He came back under the pretense of wanting to "rejoin the team" and work together with Sam and Dean again, but really he was only there to steal the Colt on behalf of Heaven. Cas was prepared to do whatever it took to keep Sam and Dean safe from Dagon, but also "safe" from having to kill an innocent woman to prevent the birth of the nephilim she carried.

Like in s6, Cas was desperate for that win. He was desperate to "earn" his place with the Winchesters, the family he chose. He even told Kelvin before they went in to confront Dagon that he wasn't doing this to redeem his "reputation" in Heaven, he only cared about "redeeming his reputation" with DEAN.

He has no idea that Dean does not give one flying fig about Cas's ability to "protect him," he just wants Cas to Be There With Him.

And later on, this is literally the lesson Cas attempts to impart to Jack. When Jack laments the loss of his power, and believes himself "useless," It's CAS who most effectively talks to him about the fact that nobody cares about his powers, that they don't care about what he can do FOR them. They just care about HIM. Like... even in 15.18. This is the conversation he has with Jack by the Impala while Sam and Dean are talking to Charlie:

Jack: I feel... strange. I don't know if that's because of what happened to me, if it means something, or if I just feel strange because... it's over. The plan. My destiny. I was ready to die and, I wanted to, for Sam, for Dean, for the world. I wanted to make things right, and now... I don't know why I'm even here.

Castiel: Jack. You never needed absolution from Sam, or Dean, or from me. We don't care about you because you're useful or you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you're you.

So like... for YEARS I've felt like this was what Dean needed to actually say TO CAS. That he doesn't want Cas to try to protect him. He doesn't need Cas to be his shield. He doesn't need Cas to be "powerful" or his savior. He just needs Cas.

So this vision... this "manipulation" that Jack showed Cas in that very moment in 12.19, that Cas believed was "paradise" at the time, was what Cas needed to hear in that moment. That he could be "powerful," with his wings healed and made "useful" again.

Dean thanking him.

Not Dean being happy that they're all safe, that they managed to finally "get a win," but specifically thanking HIM for actually winning.

He wanted to believe he could be useful again.

And to me that was a tragic, depressing lesson that he still never managed to understand for himself by the end of the series.

If Dean ever knew what the vision Cas had considered "paradise" in that moment of betrayal of his loved ones, I personally think Dean would've been horrified. I mean, he didn't even KNOW what the vision entailed, and was pre-horrified by his personal belief about how Cas had been manipulated into running away and leaving them all in the dark immediately after they'd all just gotten back on the same page again and recommitted to working together again.

So like... This is still DEEPLY in Cas's disturbing mindset of being 100% ready to sacrifice himself to "spare" Sam and especially Dean from having to do the hard things. This was nearly an identical mindset to when he'd said yes to Lucifer in the Cage in s11 because he believed he could spare Sam from having to do that himself. Like... he truly believed he was making Good Choices in these instances, and it ended up both times causing problems he'd never even considered. S11 had Lucifer using him and nearly killing Sam and Dean, and then going on a rampage that would last multiple seasons more which directly led to Jack in the first place. And then in the attempt to bring about Jack's birth, Cas cut off all communication with the Winchesters (theoretically to protect them) and therefore they had no way to warn him that Lucifer was still on the loose and closing in on reclaiming Jack himself. It literally ended up costing them Mary (pulled through the rift with Lucifer), Crowley sacrificed himself to stop it, and Lucifer killed Cas, all because Cas ran away and tried to fix everything on his own. He desperately wanted to be the winner, here.

So to me, I can't see him getting his wings back and being truly powerful and being "Dean's savior" and him basically thinking that Dean's acknowledgement of that salvation and Dean's gratitude was his idea of "paradise?" Yeah... it turns my stomach.

Dean... would hate it.

Dean's idea of paradise... is actual free will. Of them CHOOSING EACH OTHER, choosing family and standing shoulder to shoulder as a united front against the threats that come their way, instead of yet again making the same mistake of believing that they're sacrificing themselves to spare their loved ones from having to stand up and fight at all.

It NEVER works out that way. Never has. Never would.

I mean, this is why Cas made the deal with the Empty, trading away his own happiness for Jack, believing that Dean's happiness was in having JACK in the family. The tragic blind spot was his inability to see that Dean's happiness ALSO INVOLVED HAVING CAS THERE.

And the ultimate tragedy is that Dean never got a chance to actually say that to Cas.

Because if Cas had actually known that, he would never have made the choices he did.

Which is another reason I absolutely can't credit the end of 15.19 and Jack NOT bringing Cas back, knowing that he'd done it once before, and knowing WHY Cas sacrificed himself. Jack knew the conditions of Cas's deal, and I cannot believe that any version of JACK would have allowed that sacrifice to stand for HIM. Because it was the antithesis of everything Cas himself had ever taught to Jack.

Heck... I hope that makes sense...

basically, this should've been a jumping off point for Cas to ACTUALLY understand he was just as wanted, just as needed, just as cared for, and yes even LOVED, for who he was, and not the sacrifices he could make to protect Dean (and Sam, and Jack... but ultimately for Dean).

The fact he KNEW the moment he made that deal with the Empty that the knowledge of the details of that deal would be a "burden" to Dean, that it would be upsetting to Dean to know that Cas had literally traded away his own potential for true happiness because he thought that would be what Dean would prefer... he KNEW Dean would be upset about that. He knew Dean would NOT have wanted that, and swore Jack to secrecy about it. Like... he knew he had done the wrong thing here, or he wouldn't have hidden it from Dean.

So I have a really hard time thinking of this vision of Paradise (which is already a loaded word in itself in canon, and was literally what Dean spat out as an angry insult at Cas in 4.22 before his first true "tearing up the pages" and making it up as they go moment) as anything but a glaring warning sign.

And then oh look, Cas was literally killed for it four episodes later.

Then when he came back, he went right back to believing in his "purpose," wondering WHY he was brought back. Dean's "we needed you" wasn't really clear enough for Cas to understand that they didn't need him to "protect" them or to be "useful" to them. Dean just NEEDED him. Full stop.

It's a tragedy, folks.

#spn 12.19 #spn 12.23 #spn 11.10 #spn 14.08 #castiel winchester #heck it hurts so much he never actually got the chance to understand the lessons he taught to jack #and that once jack took on the god power apparently he forgot all those lessons too....#basically chuck won right? right #spn 15.18

281 notes · View notes

sinnabonka · 3 years

Text

15x19: So bad, that it’s actually good

Yesterday I had the experience of my life. I couldn’t watch the show (hi, everyone stuck in UTC+ shithole), but I couldn’t sleep either, so I ended up at 3 AM reading my people livestreaming it on Tumblr. This was one hell of a roller coaster, given the absurdity of the plot and the weakest writing in this season.

(I don’t mean the excellent and ironical and powerful message to the fandom, we’ll get there)

I was aware beforehand what I was getting, so no major disappointment regarding not seeing Cas back this week. Also, it kinda was my call, that he’ll be back in the final final.

The Ultimate Happy End, the biggest win of Dean Winchester. Chuck’s book ended, and Cas is not in Chuck’s book.

Was it bad? Yes, it was. Did I enjoy it? Hell yeah, I did.

Everyone on Tumblr already gave their two cents of hatred regarding the writing, the montage, the solemn aim of this episode (spoiler alert: to please the general audience and bronlies), and I will give mine, too. Watcha say?

It was so bad.

I didn’t believe it was the same show as the rest of Season 15. It was like rereading the fanfic my stupid 13 y.o. self wrote after like half a season and no skill or whatever. Full OOC, everyone. Learn what not to do.

I am so happy I didn’t watch ep 18 and 19 in one night. Could you imagine? That would be like getting kicked in the balls after a pretty good blowjob or something. Idk, but I can imagine.

It was lazy, it was just connecting two dots in the shortest way possible, although, leaving dozens of gaps! How, in the name of God, did they manage it?

Why Chuck could bring Lucifer back, but Jack didn’t pull Cas out of the empty before evaporating?

Why Sam has no fucks to give about Eileen?

How did Michael miss the whole thing of Jack gaining powers, don’t angels, like, have a nose for such things?

What battle is he talking about? It’s was a single stab!

It’s all just so easy, so short sighted. God is bad, let’s defeat God. Lucifer is bad, too, let him do bad, again. Michael is petty, and with Adam gone he’s back to his tropes being daddy’s boy, let him not being appreciated one more time and lets kill him off, too. I mean, my speculations on this ep were stronger.

Let’s make our characters retell the villain what was happening off screen. Let’s put some direct call backs to the previous episode, but make it feel like a grain of sand in the eye. Let’s give Dean a miracle, just for Miracle to be yanked away from his hands a moment later (parallels to Cas, anyone?).

Let’s pretend there’s no Eileen, there’s no Cas, let’s pretend they don’t matter! Let’s pretend “Just us” is a happy end. Let’s have two bros driving in sunset, because after all those years and all their losses, that’s the only thing that matters. “To everyone we’ve lost along the way”, my ass.

(Totally following my call in here, though, I hate being right)

It was everything I’ve hated about the show back in 2013 when I left. And it was everything this show is not now, which I am so thankful for, and why I am back.

All those sloppy plot decisions, episodes with no logic, awkward and ridiculous montage, “only bro” dynamics, bending and totally ignoring the rules of the universe. The episodes with Lucifer, too, for crying out loud.

Forced happiness, fake smiles, a lingering touch, close up at the beer bottles. It’s just them, the Winchesters, and the whole world can go fuck itself, as long as they get to drive their Impala to the end of the world and back.

This is something Chuck would love to be their ending. You see what I’m doing here? This episode - it’s Chuck’s book, it’s the bad ending Becky’s been talking about: all action and no Cas. In other words, not good.

So, what’s good about it then?

In this episode we hear “the old Supernatural” talking through the words of Chuck and “the new Supernatural” answering, with Dean’s and Sam’s help:

Chuck: “What did you do?”

Dean: “We won.”

Chuck: “So this is how it ends?”

We won. The Author (TM) is defeated.

Chuck: “For the fist time I have no idea what happens next. Is this where you kill me? Dying of hand of Sam and Dean Winchesters. It’s kinda glorious?”

Chuck - the old Supernatural - wants the story to end this way. With killing God, with this bittersweet aftertaste, because Cas says all those beautiful words, but Dean still feeds off his anger and kills. Typical Chuck, right?

But, no! Not this time!

Dean: “See, that’s not who I am. That’s not who we are.”

Chuck: “What kind of ending is this?”

Sam: “His power. You sure it won’t come back?”

Jack: “It’s not his power anymore.”

It’s not their call! Writers tried to control the narrative so hard, but just kept circling around, killing one of the brothers just to bring him back. This time, there’s another ending.

Dean: “It’s the ending where you grow old. You get sick. And you just die”

Sam: “And no one cares. And no one remembers you. You’re just forgotten.”

Because that, my people, is the destiny of Supernatural if it ends this way. It’s the ending of “Supernatural” by Chuck Shurley. If it is the story of two brothers hunting evil for fifteen years and finding themselves back in the place they begun in, what’s the point? Yes, we love the characters, but the story is empty.

Everyone is going to forget about it before the final credits end. And the writers are well aware of it.

Quoting myself, If we keep taking the same route - we end up in the same place. How many seasons ended with Winchesters together, just the two of them? You’ll find one, that’s for sure. There’s no novelty in that ending.

(And Bobo didn’t provoke The Ultimate Shitstorm of 11/5/2020 for nothing!)

The episode 20 will be something Supernatural will be well remembered by. It will be a game changer!

I’ve written here about the change of the philosophy of the show (point 6). I’ll be a bit of a Chuck myself and put my own quote here once again:

The message the show wants to give the world has changed. From “it’s all about the journey, about saving people, killing things, no one ever gets what they deserve”, the philosophy has changed drastically toward the “good things do happen, you deserve to be saved, to be loved”.

And this, my people, is what we are getting in the next episode. Because Chuck’s story was about killing your brother, killing your son, one apocalypse after another, Lucifer, Michael, all that shit.

But Dean’s and Sam’s is not. And in their book, there’s Cas, there’s Eileen, and everyone they didn’t lost along the way.

So, brothers driving in sunset? Not the end, but the beginning of their own story.

“Supernatural” indeed ended tonight. But our story didn’t.

1K notes · View notes

sortasirius · 3 years

Text

“Inherit the Earth” and the Fakeout

Absolutely genius. Amazing, iconic, legendary, something only our showrunner Andrew Dabb can pull off.

"But Lilly, the episode was so bad! It was just the brothers, they didn’t look for Cas and Eileen!”

YES. THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT. THIS WAS A FAKE ENDING, THE END OF THE SEASON, NOT OF THE SERIES.

Let’s get into it.

An empty world. No one left but Sam, Dean, and Jack.

So Dean ran, he somehow managed to pick himself up off the floor of the dungeon and meet up with Sam and Jack. That jacket was this silent reminder. Remember what I’ve been saying, Cas has occupied the negative space all season, this is no exception.

Dean can’t look either of them in the face, he’s doing that thing, where his eyes move everywhere BUT where he should look.

“I couldn’t save anybody.”

Sam couldn’t save the world and Dean couldn’t save the one person that means the world to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Dean?”

I think it’s there, in that pause where Dean tries to push down the emotions, continue the fight, not think about the memories he left in the bunker, that Jack realizes what must have happened. Jack is the only one that knows about the deal, he has to know what Cas not being there must mean.

“He saved me. Billie was coming after us. Cas summoned the Empty. It took her...and took him. Cas is gone.”

This may shock you, but I am GLAD they didn’t talk about Cas, especially with what happens at the end of the episode. Cas is allowed to just take up unsaid space. It’s obvious he’s missing with the way they blocked things, obvious he’s missing here. This whole “oh well they don’t care about Cas because they didn’t talk about him”? Malarkey.

“Jack I’m sorry.”

Guilt. Regret. Pain. Dean will carry this with him for the rest of his life. Not only that he lost Cas, but that Sam lost Cas, that Jack lost Cas.

That SHOT, with the distance between Jack and Sam where Cas is SUPPOSED TO BE, and then a zoom out to...THE WORLD.

Okay, as usual, Bucklemming has the subtlety of a sledgehammer lmao.

Jack crying??? Praying to Cas???? Bruh?????

Also it’s just straight-up frightening for everything around my boy to die he is my baby son.

Also not to point out the incredibly obvious, but Dean starts drinking immediately, and continues drinking throughout the whole episode. Grief arc 2.0 babey.

“We can what, Dean? There’s no one left to save! Everybody’s gone!”

“You can’t just give up.”

“What other choice do we have!”

Idk why, but for Sam, who’s the constant, the one who’s always had hope, through everything, through all these years, when he finally says this, when he finally loses his hope? It hits the hardest. Sam is the leader, so not only is he grieving the loss of Eileen, he is a general grieving the loss of his soldiers, his friends, the world that he feels the duty to save.

When they go to meet Chuck, I just can’t get that image of Dean, leaning against the car, handprint still on his jacket, staring at the ground out of my head. It takes him a few seconds to catch up to Sam, like he’s pulled out of thoughts like deep dark water. Remember friends, it doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Chuck wearing BLACK? FEAR.

“That’s right, the whole Cain and Abel thing. Us dead, whatever. I’ll kill Sam, Sam’ll kill me, we’ll kill each other. Okay, you pick. But first? You gotta put everything back the way it was. The people, the birds...Cas. You gotta bring him back.”

Willing to kill his brother. Willing to die. Tears in his eyes, begging God to bring Cas back.

And Chuck? Chuck doesn’t care about their surrender, he knows he’s already got them beaten. He cares about their pain, he cares about them suffering, because to him? That’s the entertainment. He’s not entertained by their found family, by their happiness, by their joy. He wants them to suffer, all of them.

“Eternal shame. Suffering. And loneliness.”

And he leaves them with just that. No hope, no family, just the three of them, broken, alone. Jack locked in his bedroom, Sam trying desperately to make life “normal” again. And Dean. Dean who drank so much he passed out on the floor.

He doesn’t feel terrific, he feels like shit, because not only is he dealing with the shame of an empty planet, he’s dealing with the guilt of being back in the place where the Empty took Cas.

This whole thing with the dog was just absolutely heartwrenching shit and if I didn’t hate Chuck before, him snapping Miracle right in front of an already fragile Dean would seal that deal.

I just want everyone to know that this is a Jake Abel stan account.

“Daddy’s boy” is a big insult for my boy Dean to use considering his own past with his trash abusive father but I’ll allow it.

I do think it’s interesting, ending of his arc aside, that Michael is willing to help them now. What changed? Sure, he ended up trying to help Chuck, running back to his father, but why get back in the game? I wonder if it has anything to do with the loss of Adam. It’s an interesting parallel, a man loses his angel while an angel loses his human.

Everything is so DARK in the Bunker now too, even the lighting is loud.

When I tell you I lost my shit when I saw Cas was calling Dean, when I heard Misha’s voice?? I knew it didn’t make any sense but I didn’t care, I would’ve been one step behind Dean as he sprinted towards the door.

Fuck you, Eugenie.

I mean it’s torture not only to Dean, who looks beyond fucking crushed when it’s damn Lucifer at the door, but for us too. Who the FUCK wanted Lucifer back? And to tease Cas??? Garbage.

I mean...fam. Listen, we know who’s writing this episode, this whole Betty thing is just like blatantly unnecessary but again, Eugenie loves Lucifer, gotta distract her with a shiny toy lmao.

It was cool to see Michael and Lucifer onscreen together. It was a cool dynamic that we rarely got to see.

The whole episode is just twist after twist. Listen, it’s their last episode so I guess they needed to fit in a season worth of twists in one episode.

Bye Lucifer. We know Eugenie can’t bring him back. Blessings to all.

This scene with Adam is the FOURTH scene where Dean is drinking...big yikes to my guy’s liver.

Here’s the thing about Michael. He’s a mirror for Dean in season 5. Loyal to an absent father. He has never changed, but Dean has. Dean is able to acknowledge now, the trauma that his father put him through, he was able to move past the need for pleasing him at any cost. Michael and Chuck? Are John and Dean, if Dean had never been allowed to grow. And Chuck proves, like John did, that he would always put his wants (in John’s case “the mission”) over his children.

Also not to beat a dead horse but Michael’s death was also peak Eugenie.

Sam getting to punch Chuck in the face? Thank you, he deserves that.

Obviously I don’t love any scene of my boys getting brutally beaten. But what I love, what I will always love about them, is what Chuck hates about them: they won’t ever give up. They know they won’t win against him, they don’t even land any hits, but that’s not what matters. What matters is their controller doesn’t control them anymore, that they really are free. No matter how hard they get hit, the get back up. It is their choice to stand up to him, no matter the cost.

The moment where Sam and Dean are supporting each other, covered in blood, and they look God in the face, and they laugh. That is why I will love them unconditionally for the rest of my life. That is who they are, they will never cow to the villain, whether that’s Azazel or Alastair or Zachariah or Lucifer or Amara or Death or Metatron or Cain or God. They will always choose to stand up.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because. You lose.”

Chills. What a line.

And Chuck is left, small, human, no longer a villain, no longer anything.

Gotta be real, woulda been nice to, idk, not see all this essential plot in a flashback, but I know I can only ask so much of Bucklemming.

For Dean to walk away from killing Chuck, right after he’s called him “the ultimate killer” is quite simply the most beautifully heartwrenching thing I could ever ask for. Because that’s who Dean was under Chuck, that’s who Chuck wanted him to be.

And he would have before:

But he’s heard some things since then, heard some things about how others see him. Not as the killer, not as a monster, not as angry and broken or his daddy’s blunt instrument:

I’m not saying that Dean doesn’t kill Chuck for Cas. He doesn’t kill Chuck because he doesn’t think he has to anymore, he doesn’t kill Chuck because he listened to Cas, he took Cas’ words to heart. He made the choice not to be the killer.

“See that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are.”

And Chuck is angry, because he thought, after everything, even after losing, that he would still know Dean well enough to know that he would kill him. But Chuck has never really known Dean, he has never understood where he’s really come from. Cas understood, Sam and Jack understand, but Chuck never did, and writing off Dean as angry and broken is his biggest mistake, because that’s never been Dean.

“It’s not his power anymore.”

And it’s not just his physical power, it’s his power over the story, over the boys that’s the real power taken from him.

For Jack to be the one to bring everyone back, for him to be the hero of the story? That’s poetic right there. Now, I will say, I don’t think this story ends with him as God, because for him, the child, to take on this burden, it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me for his arc, but we shall see next week. It felt pretty tied up, but there’s one major loose end: and that’s Jack seeing Cas again.

“Just you and me, going wherever the story takes us. Just us.”

“Finally free.”

This doesn’t feel triumphant to me, it doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like they’ve settled, like this is the best they’re going to get, so they might as well make the best of it, at least they have each other.

For Cas and Jack to be carved into the table? I cry.

And for the montage, very similar to “Swan Song” to be set to “Runnin on Empty”? Sorry but that’s just too sus to be ignored.

They packaged this episode as an ending, because for many, it might be. The season’s story, the season about fighting Chuck is over. So, you might be asking (or, well, screaming, judging by my replies lol), what’s left? And that’s a good question, Chuck has been defeated, so what is left? What’s left is what’s really mattered all season: the relationships that have been crafted over the years. Dean and Sam’s unhappiness at the end of the episode, where “just you and me” sounded more of a grudging acceptance than anything else, is one of the clues that has to be looked at. Why didn’t Sam find Eileen, why didn’t Jack bring back Cas? Those two characters specifically are the ones we need to watch out for. As I’ve said over and over again, peace, contentment, satisfaction, those don’t come from Sam and Dean on the open road together anymore. They have a family, more of a family than they did when they started hunting together all those years ago, and that family is what holds them together. They need each other, of course, but each other isn’t enough anymore. Sam needs Eileen, Dean needs Cas. That is where they will find their peace.

This episode, as many written by Bucklemming was sloppy, rushed, packed full of shit, and had little gems that we can talk about forever, but that was the end of the season, and next week? Andrew Dabb brings us home, where Dean and Sam will finally be able to choose what they want for themselves, and that, my friends, is Eileen and Cas.

#supernatural #spn #spoilers #my meta #spn 15x19 #destiel #saileen

783 notes · View notes

googledocsdyke · 3 years

Note

Do you have any thoughts/recommended texts for Cas analysis? I genuinely love the dean gender studies and I just wanna know what people might apply to Cas.

yes absolutely!! while dean studies is my first love i also deeply love cas analysis (casnalysis?) and wanna strive to do more of it. here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

1. gender, sexuality, heavenly embodiment

this is much more theological and less psychological than dean’s whole Deal because there’s so much fascinating stuff around how the angels in general experience express and conceptualise gender (@autisticandroids has a good post about angel gender & lily sunder has some regrets) but for cas in particular there’s this fascinating kind of collective fandom agreement (which i DO also agree with) that cas’ own gender kind of is gay man, that he actively chose gay manhood, but also that he’s kind of..... lacking the Insane Genderishness that dean exhibits at all times, even though he actively chose to engage in male gendering and became so comfortable housed Within Jimmy that he, as some post i saw the other day that i can’t find anymore said, “became his own body” when jimmy died.

like on the one hand there’s an almost-canonical transness to the whole process but it also never feels fully written-into because 1) the supernatural writers for all their insanity are sometimes very boring and *most* of the time only feel interested in narratively expressing angels As Their Vessels anyways and just like leaving convenient spaces around these questions (boldest thing they ever did was hot girl cas which i WISH i had the range to unpack) 2) there’s a vague inevitabilist shrug to the whole thing since they obviously weren’t gonna recast misha collins (though they HAVE tried to get rid of him) and 3) something amorphous about cas’ entire..... personhood? makes him Empty Of Gender as a contrast to dean’s Full Of Gender (i believe it was @deanwinchestergender who said this) and like is it just the juxtaposition to dean/jensen’s whole insane Deal? or something else?

like he actively chooses the terms of his own embodiment and yet narratively it feels like a shrug. and we’re all like “well obviously even though he’s a celestial being he was always a gay man” and like WHY. i love it idk idk much to think about! and yeah just in general the theological questions of possession and cas genuinely Becoming a man as he iterates himself consciously towards humanity it almost feels like. by doing the most boring things possible with his gender they made it interesting? idk if that makes sense.

2. discipline, free will, metanarratives

cas is like a tool (“i am not a hammer, as you say”) held in constant discipline and surveillance by the system that enmeshes him and it’s really, really fascinating to watch the way the angels hold each other to conformity. especially pre-god they kind of produce each other as foucauldian disciplinary subjects (which i posted about here) in perpetual visibility through angel radio, generating their own and each other’s conformity rather than being directly ruled through like a single centralised source of power. only the spectre of a god. and obviously cas’ whole thing is that he has ALWAYS disobeyed and the narrative affords him this psychological interiority never given to the foucauldian subject, an internal will and desire for freedom in a way that fits more with the liberal subject (super roughly and not with the same pro-capitalist implications but he has this internal drive for self-liberation.

and that’s also where the metanarrative comes in ofc! i think it was @dykecas who said that cas is a real person written by people who hate him, and there’s this crack in the narrative (mirroring the crack in his chassis) where cas gets in, over and over, despite all the order imposed by the show’s authorfathergod. like we’ve all seen the analysis about how it was Never supposed to be this way they DID try to fire misha collins in 2012 and yet this gay man literally cannot be stopped! i think actually his appearance in scoobynatural is a neat little distillation of this — he drops into this animated world originally with a singular purpose (Save Sam And Dean) the same way he dropped into lazarus rising with a single 3-episode arc (Save Dean). huge hammer behaviour. his “utility” diminishes within the narrative (he finds that he can’t fly in the scooby doo universe) and so he is no longer a tool/means to an end that salvation moves Through. and in the process (and huge creds to @lesbianyuugi for this) he does something ENTIRELY unrelated to his original cas-as-tool aim, and learns, like, the meaning of laughter from shaggy and scooby. WHICH brings me onto the third point

3. love, queer kinship, family-making

HE’S GAY AND HE’S A DAD! i feel like a lot of tumblr throws around the term “found family” in a very flat and tropey way (which is fine it’s cute and fun no matter what!) but like . GOD there’s so much specific stuff going on here. like the way that cas (unintentionally) obliterates the midwestern white christian nuclear family (made incarnate in the novaks) which like could be uniformly portrayed as an act of deep malice and villainy but instead grows to serve as a surrogate (if imperfect/complex, but DEEPLY loving) father figure for the gay daughter who has now escaped that nuclear family/seen it destroyed depending on how you read it? like he remasters the entire concept of fatherhood and it’s a very interesting (if DEEPLY) unintentional subversion of the homewrecking non-nuclear gay trope. cas is so good because his character arc doesn’t say “look, gay people can be normal and have perfect settled families just like you” it says “gay people DON’T have normal settled families actually and they are full of love anyways! or Because of the abnormalcy itself!)

to cite ziz lesbianyuugi again he DOES queer fatherhood in his parenting of jack particularly because it really is one of the ONLY parent-child relationships in the show that breaks the incessant cycle of abuse and control and cold indifference perpetuated by the authorfathergod (a cycle reified in 15x20 lol). like god’s treatment of cas and his siblings mirrors john’s treatment of sam and dean (particularly dean) mirrors victor’s treatment of krissy and her crew mirrors dean’s later treatment of jack. there is a CONSTANT reiteration of the story of authorfathergod (often a father tightly entwined in biological kinship) treating a child as a mechanism or a tool or a means to an end. and cas looks at ALL that he has suffered and all that he is ever known and chooses constantly to reject it with every piece of love he expresses for his child. and not to sound like the kind of academic people make fun of on twitter but there is an INHERENT queerness to that. gay love will pierce through [the veil of death/the thick silence of abuse/the mechanism of godly control/hegemonic american masculinity] and save the day

anyways here are some very haphazard recs on everything above for further reading:

angels in america (tony kushner)

histrionics of the pulpit: trans tonalities of religious enthusiasm

the public universal friend: religious enthusiasm in revolutionary america

discipline and punish (michel foucault)

friendship as a way of life (michel foucault)

the genesis of blame (recommended by @pietacastiel who has GREAT theology content in general

all about love (bell hooks)

the chapter “when hated characters talk back” in anti-fandom: dislike and hate in the digital age (is actually explicitly about cas)

also cannot recommend enough following the ppl i tagged above!! most of the unlinked stuff is available through http://libgen.li/ and bookshop is a good alternative to amazon if ur american and want physical copies

#thank you so much for this ask it was a delight to answer #spn #casnalysis #making a tag officially #gendernatural #long post

495 notes · View notes

postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 3 years

Note

So I watched 10.09 recently, and it has that part where Dean tells a story about him basically being almost roofied as a teen, but somehow it ends up framed as the funny joke and yet another proof that John "did what he could", and I kind of hate this? And it's the same episode in which MoC!Dean killed guys that kidnapped and tried to rape Claire, and you'd think writers would've addressed the parallels and acknowledge that Dean could've been triggered by this situation. 1/2

2/2 But in the end, it's never addressed, and the whole situation is framed as the proof that Dean is evil now. And I'm not even sure what I am trying to say, but with that being the show's approach back in s10, I'm not surprised about the finale anymore. Guess we should've known?

That’s an excellent angle to look at the issue because the Mark of Cain arc is a clear example of how people with different experiences will see the same thing in wildly different ways. There’s this phase of season 10 where everyone is like “oh no Dean is Getting Worse” and when you look at what Dean is doing... you actually go “...good for him”.

Let’s give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It’s not “the writers” in this case, it’s Dabb. Plenty of other writers don’t fall into this John apologism thing. Just look at how the episode before Lebanon, written by Buckner and Ross Leming, says that sometimes John would temporarily kick Dean out because he was “pissed at him” despite Dean always taking his side to mantain the peace. It almost seems like a statement to sprinkle some salt given what Dabb does in Lebanon, you know? Maybe not, but there is a tension between “John was shitty” writers and “John did his best” writers.

In hindsight, we gave Dabb too much of the benefit of the doubt. We were like, weeell, that’s supposed to be way the characters perceive the truth, which is distorted by the trauma... But now it’s obvious that he truly believed in the John-did-his-best version. He brought him back and got Mary back with him. No matter what happened to the finale, the network didn’t print those pictures of John and Mary to hang on Sam’s wall. He never took Dean’s abuse seriously and it shows.

The “anedocte” of Dean getting drugged and “saved” by John from being raped is obviously there to parallel him with Claire. Which works! It’s so weird because it’s like. You are soooo close to getting the point. Younger Dean was assaulted just like this teenage girl is assaulted and Dean saves her... but apparently John yelling at those people is a good way of dealing with the issue, while murdering child traffickers is an overraction thus bad.

That’s the problem, isn’t it? That Dean’s murder spree is framed as an overreaction. Sam is like “tell me you had to do this! tell me it was you or them!” - the answer to which (by the narrative) is obviously no, it wasn’t self defense, he just killed them because he could. He just murdered those men for no reason except he felt like being murdery. And the audience is supposed to be like “oh no! Dean is murdery for no reason except for murderiness! That’s bad!”.

But it’s a power fantasy, isn’t it? Going on a murder spree on rapists and traffickers. I bet any people who’s been violated like that has fantasized of doing the exact thing Dean does here. Killing them all.

Dean had the physical strength and skill to kill them all, why shouldn’t he kill them? (I mean, in real life I’m against private justice because I’m a fan of the state of law, but the Supernatural universe obviously works on different principles than the state of law. Again, it’s a fictional narrative that plays out as a fantasy for the audience, so.)

So what was Dabb’s intention? I’m afraid it’s the worst one. “John Winchester’s not going to win any Number One Dad awards, you know? But, you know, damn if he wasn’t there when we needed him”. What the fuck, Dabb? It’s been established since season 1 that John WASN’T there when they needed him. Which... I’m afraid... leads us to the Cas-Claire plot in the episode. Cas has fucked off with Jimmy’s body leaving Claire on her own. Parallels how John wasn’t going to win wny Number One Dad awards. But! Cas is there when Claire Really Needs Him i.e. when she’s about to be raped by older men. Parallels how John was there when Dean Really Needed Him i.e. when he was about to be raped by older men.

I think the point is to say, Cas kinda sucked because he took Claire’s dad away but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Claire because he gets there in time to prevent her from being raped. Just like (ew) John kinda sucked as a father because hunting and stuff, but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Dean because he got there in time to prevent him from being raped.

It’s pretty yucky. Literally NOBODY wanted a parallel between Cas and John. But he made one. And he made one to absolve Cas from the guilt he carried for what he did to Claire (Claire’s mother is a mother so who fucking cares about her. She’s basically a Blurry Wife(TM), she’s only a tool for Claire’s arc, Cas apparently only cares about the harm he did the child, not the wife, for some reason.) and to absolve Cas from his guilt it absolves John too. Don’t worry, being a parent is hard. You often screw up. But you can *looks at smudged writing on hand* prevent the kid from being raped by predatory adults and everything’s fine now.

It’s not really important if the child suffered hunger or whatever, the only important thing is that they don’t get raped, because that’s bad, everything else is just a little detail.

All Dabb got with that scene was to paint Sam as extremely unsympathetic because he’s no longer a child, he’s a full adult now and still thinks of that episode at the CBGB as a funny story. That’s not a good look. It almost makes you think that the writer himself saw it as a funny story. Lol teenage boy biting more than he can chew. But then why the Claire parallel? The Claire scene onviously is not supposed to be anything but horrific. I'll give Dabb the benefit of the doubt on this specific thing.

It’s weird, yes, because Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon where he establishes that John was a bad husband/father even before tragedy hit the family. But apparently that’s the “not going to win any Number One Dad awards” part, I suppose? I guess he intended to write John as this flawed, ~complex~ figure who was imperfect but still brave and whatever blah blah did his best blah blah. I’m all for flawed complicated characters but a horrible father is a horrible father. A rose by any other name... parental abuse is still parental abuse even if the poor guy was complicated and traumatized and did what he thought he had to do to prepare his sons for a violent world.

Also, the story frames Dean’s escapade as a teenager being stupid. “You know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around looked at me and said, Son, you don’t like me? That’s fine. It’s not my job to be liked.” “It’s my job to raise you right.” This seems straight from a novel about teenagers doing something stupid that they’re too young to realize that their parents are right to be against them doing. But this isn’t just... a parent walking into a bar to stop their child to drink alcohol. Dean literally describes feeling sick from something that was inside the alcohol.

Sure, it makes sense that he’d lash out to John because of the shame and shock. But the scene is... off. Are we supposed to see this as a typical teenage mistake? Are we supposed to read it as something as horrific as what happened to Claire, literally sold into rape? Or, worse, are we supposed to see what happened to Claire as a teenage mistake, ah silly teenager, blindly trusting shady people, no wonder you end up in a situation where you’d get raped if a father figure didn’t sweep in and save you. I hope that wasn’t the intent.

To get back to Dean’s Mark-of-Cain violence, the writers clearly didn’t intend it to come from the Darkness up to a certain point. It was supposed to an arc about your own inner darkness (consider the Charlie episode, a couple episodes later). Then they came up with the idea of The(TM) Darkness, the suppressed cosmic feminine. While it caused a bit of dissonance in the subtext, it doesn’t really change Dean’s narrative, because his inner darkness is the trauma, and his trauma is inherebtly tied to the “feminine” i.e. the parts of him that don’t fit seamlessly into the scheme of toxic masculinity values. That the violence that comes from the Mark of Cain comes from Dean himself and that’s it, or is connected to the Darkness, it doesn’t change what it means for Dean. Dean and Amara have parallel histories, the feminine principle locked away, the trauma the anger stems from.

In 10x09 we’re still in the Before The (TM) Darkness era, before the suppressed cosmic feminine. The Mark of Cain arc is still about... well, Cain. But the shift is the signal that someone looked at Dean’s arc and said... you know what? “Lucifer gave me this curse so now I’m demonic and murdery” is meh. “Toxic masculinity suppresses the feminine and it creates trauma which rage and violence comes from” is more interesting. I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a good idea, and surely the idea came from seeing how Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding.

Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding in a certain way, in fact, because of a pretty simple reason. There’s a fundamental tension in Dean’s MoC arc. We want him to go murdery, but it’s also our main character, so we don’t want him to do really horrible things because he still needs to be relatable. The audience cannot hate him, so he must NOT do something entirely unforgivable. He still needs to be somewhat relatable, even when demonic or demonic-adjacent.

So he goes on a murder spree... but it’s rapists and child traffickers. He’s demon, but he kills a misogynistic dude that wanted his wife dead for cheating on him. He’s a demon, but beats up dudes that harass women. He does a slaughter, but they’re nazi. He’s off the deep end, but works a case of kidnapped and abused young women...

Speaking of which. 10x23, written by Jeremy Carver. Dean works a case where a girl was killed while dressed scantily and Dean makes some slut-shaming remarks, and we’re supposed to think “whoa Dean, that’s bad”. But later he confronts the girl’s father and what does he say?

I’m just doing my job, Mr. McKinley.

By suggesting my daughter was a slut?

I’ll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.

You shut your face right now.

And you know what? I don’t blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her.

Back then the episode was super controversial and everyone hated the case because of the apparent slut-shaming but I loved it! Because it’s not about the girl. It’s about Dean. Dean doesn’t think that a girl gets killed because she dresses in a miniskirt so it’s her fault. Dean is projecting on himself and he’s not actually victim blaming the girl, he’s victim blaming himself. And when he absolves the girl by putting the blame on the father... well, subtextually he’s absolving himself by putting the blame on his father. On the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervaded his own home. He’s textually not ready to absolve himself, of course, he summons Death to ask him to kill him later, but subtextually he’s on the right path.

Rose McKinley basically did the same mistake Dean did at the CBGB when he trusted some older people who offered him drinks and the same mistake Claire did when she trusted a man who sold her for money because he offered him a place and stability. She trusted the wrong people (in this case, vampires, which adds the whole subtext of vampires and sexuality) who took advantage of her. Except Rose had no one to save her. (Her friend, Crystal, gets rescued by Dean, even if he causes the other hunter Rudy to die in the process.)

Carver’s writing is pretty brutal. The girl made that mistake because was abused at home, so she was desperate for validation and that desperation drove her into the wrong hands. (Rose even has a brother who blames himself for bringing her sister to her future murderers, destructive sibling relationship check.) It doesn’t actually even matter if Dean guessed right about Rose’s family situation, because what matters is what it tells us about Dean. He basically relates to a dead abused girl. Actually all through the season Dean is paralleled to “skanks” “sluts” and sex workers. Obviously this happens kinda all through the show, the whole “the business is based on absent fathers” thing happened much earlier in the story, so it’s not new. But s10 draws a picture of female suffering - abuse, manipulation and death. Season 10 was difficult to go through. In hindsight, it was probably on purpose because it was supposed to be darkest hour of the feminine. Summed with some good old fashioned misogyny, but hey.

The Carver era was wonky but Carver wanted to free the feminine. (I believe that Mary’s comeback, while written by Dabb because of the showrunner shift, was planned before the showrunner shift.) We thought the Dabb era wanted the same, with Mary choosing life and Amara being independent and so on, but it evidently wasn’t the case. Not a single woman arrives at end of the story. It’s hardly ~Bucklemming or ~the network or ~covid because it starts before the very end.

I’m not saying that dead sluts are more feminist than living women, but if the women die or disappear anyway (and they did) I’d rather have an exploration of trauma than nothing. And I definitely prefer a dead slut narrative that calls out parental abuse than a narrative where women live but abuse gets the you-did-your-best treatment.

Whoops! I digressed! But feel free to ask for any clarification or send me any observation or thought.

#anon #my spn thoughts #season 10 #spn 10x09 #spn 10x23 #dean and john #parental abuse #john winchester's a+ parenting #mark of cain #demon dean #spn #i love talking about season 10 uh

257 notes · View notes

sourwolf-sterek32 · 3 years

Text

Welcome to the End

Summary: Y/N Winchester was a hunter like her brothers, following in their fathers footsteps. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

During a case in Georgia, you meet the Dixon brothers and after saving Daryl’s life against a Chupacabra, the two of you become close. But, when the zombie apocalypse starts, life as you know it changes forever.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Winchester!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language, descriptions of blood, injury and violence.

Chapter 16-

You and Daryl were locked inside that small room for at least a few days.

Dwight gave you dog food covered bread as food, but that was it and you were getting pretty sick of it.

It was cold inside the room and you quickly realised that body warmth was the only way to get you both to stop shivering. The two of you spend those few days cuddled together in the dark, just waiting to see what was going to happen next.

You didn't sleep, you kept guard whenever Daryl slept and talked to him about anything and everything when he was awake to get you to forget about your father and brothers.

But, you must have fallen asleep eventually because the next thing you knew, you awoke with a gasp, your forehead laced with cold sweat as you breathed heavily. Images of your father bashing in Abrahams head filling your dreams.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed your bare shoulder causing you to jump in panic.

"S'just me. Ya okay? What's wrong?" Daryl's gruff voice questioned as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side.

That was all it took before tears silently trickled down your cheeks. You weren't even sure why you were crying. You barely knew Abraham, you didn't have the right to feel sad about his death especially since it was your father that caused it and your brothers were on his side.

Daryl didn't say anything for a while as he let you cry into him, his free hand rubbing soft circles over your shoulder.

"I'm sorry." You whispered, wiping your teary eyes as you curled into Daryl's side, partly because it was freezing inside the cell, but also needed the comfort as Daryl's grip tightened around your body.

"Ain't nothin' to apologise for. We'll work it out, we always do."

You nodded in response when suddenly music began blasting through the room, causing you both to jump as your ears began to ring from the loud noise.

Your super hearing highly sensitive to loud noises as you tried to cover your ears with your hands, but there was no point. The music was too loud as Daryl's hand suddenly grabbed your arm, silently comforting you as you tried to ignore the ridiculously happy song.

You thought the song would finish and it would go back to be being silent, but it kept playing on repeat.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you learnt that the song lasted for a minute and 45 seconds roughly. Although the song always lasted the same amount of time, the gaps between the song varied. Sometimes it would only be a few seconds before the song would start up again, but sometimes it would be over an hour.

There wasn't any pattern to it, it was just random, but you were grateful whenever there was a long gap between songs, giving you and Daryl time to actually talk and sleep because you were pretty sure he was the only thing keeping you sane right now.

"I have never hated music so much in my entire life and that's saying something for someone who's dealt with Dean's music for hours non-stop in the Impala" You commented, hating how tired your voice sounded.

You rested your head back against the wall behind you, your thigh resting against Daryl's as reassurance that he was still beside you since neither of you could see anything in the dark room.

"Dean's music wasn't that bad." Daryl responded, his voice sounding as exhausted as you felt.

"It was bad if you're driving across the county for a hunt and have nothing else to listen to." You chuckled softly remembering all those long drives, sitting in the back of the Impala with Cas, sometimes swapping seats with Sam in the front when he got sick of Dean. You missed those old days.

Eventually Dwight threw clothes to you and Daryl, matching dirty white pants and jumpers, his had the letter 'A' spray painted on the front and yours was an 'W' which seemed to fit fairly well.

Dwight had taken the two of you out the cell a couple of times, showing you the walker fence and threatening to hang you both on there as walkers if you didn't agree to work for Negan, but like hell either of you were gonna agree to that.

You finally had your chance to escape when one of Negan's other soldiers forgot to lock your cell door after throwing you bread and dog food which was why right now the two of you were silently walking down the hallway of the Sanctuary trying to find a way out.

Daryl lead the way while you followed close behind, sticking close to the wall for protection and staying in the shadows.

You came across a t-section causing Daryl to quickly stop as he looked left and right before glancing over at you with a questioning look.

Before you had a chance to answer, you heard the faint sound footsteps in the distance.

Quickly, you grabbed Daryl's hand and pulled him in the opposite direction. You knew he couldn't hear the footsteps, but he didn't say anything, trusting your instincts as he let you lead him down the hallway.

It didn't take long before you reached another t-section as Daryl stuck his head around the corner trying to see if the coast was clear when suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed both your shoulders.

Acting on pure instinct you spun around, letting go of Daryl's hand as you went to punch whoever it was before you realised that it was a woman.

You haltered your movement slightly and quickly noticed that Daryl had done the same. She was wearing a spotted black dress and by the look of her nearly done hair and makeup it was clear that she must be one of Negan's wives.

"Go back while you can. Whatever he's done to you, there's more. There's always more. You won't get away and when you're bad, it'll be worse." The woman whispered and you knew it was a warning.

Why would she try and warn you? Why would she try and help you?

You didn't get much time to dwell over it because the next thing you knew, Daryl grabbed your hand and lead you down the hallway, not listening to the woman.

A minute later you spotted a door at the end of the hallway. Bright light shone through the small glass square in the centre of the door, indicating that it lead outside and without saying a word the two of you quickly rushed towards the door. Before opening it you looked through the glass, realising that it lead to some courtyard type area, but it seemed to be empty of people and your eyes instantly landed on the row of motorcycles to the left.

Daryl must have seen the motorcycles as well because the next thing you knew, he opened the door and ran to the bikes.

You watched as Daryl looked over each bike, probably trying to find a key or one that was easy to hotwire when suddenly a door to the right slammed open.

A couple men began marching out, their eyes trained on the two of you.

In an instant, you grabbed Daryl's shoulder and pulling him in the opposite direction before more men walked out from around the corner of the building. All of them surrounding you in seconds and you quickly realised that this had been set up.

This was a trap and you both fell for it.

The two of you quickly got back to back, ready to try and fight your way out of this. Two against 10, you didn't have a chance, if your powers were working even slightly, you' be able to take them, but you were still too weak.

Suddenly the big guy from earlier stepped forward and pulled out Rick's Colt and aimed it towards the two of you.

You barely even had a moment to process that fact that he had Ricks gun before Negan's signature whistle filled the air and you froze.

You and Daryl both turned around spotting your father walking towards you, his bat slung over his shoulder as he stared at the two of you with a shit eating grin.

"Are we pissing our pants yet?" Your father questioned as one of his men stepped to the side letting him inside the circle they had created around the two of you as he stopped directly in front of you.

"Who are you?" He asked, pointing his bat towards the big guy.

"Negan." The guy answered and you frowned in confusion.

"Who are you?" Negan asked, pointing towards a different guy.

"Negan."

"Who are you?" He asked with a grin and all the men around you answered with 'Negan'. "See that? I am everywhere. And this was your shot to prove to me that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you failed. Which sucks, because your lives were about to get so much cooler. Am I right?"

"Damn right." All the men around you responded.

You were slowly starting to realise just how much power and control your father had over his people. No, it wasn't your father, deep down you knew that. But, it didn't help that whoever this Negan person was, that he was in your fathers body.

"Now, Dwight gave you some options." Negan began to say, focusing his attention on you and Daryl. "I don't think you get it yet. So, I'm gonna break it down for you. You get three choices. One, you wind up on the spike and you work for me as a dead man. Two, you get out of your cell, you work for points, but you're gonna wish you were dead. Or three, you work for me, you get yourself a brand-new pair of shoes, and you live like a king! Choice seems pretty obvious. You should know, there is no door number four. This is it. This is the only way."

Daryl didn't say anything as he glared at Negan from underneath his hair and you could feel your body starting to shake in fear of what Negan was going to do because you knew that Daryl would never say yes to him.

"Screw it." Negan responded and before you even realised what was going on he suddenly raise his bat and swung it at Daryl's head.

"NO!" You screamed, your hands shooting up, getting ready to stop the bat from connecting with Daryl's face, but to your shock Negan stopped the bat only inches away from Daryl's head as you stared at the two of them with wide eyes.

"Wow! You don't scare easy." Negan observed as he lowered the bat and took a step away. "I love that. But Lucille... well, it kind of pissed her off. She finds it to be disrespectful. Lucky for you, she's not feeling too thirsty today. But I am. So I'm gonna go get me a drink!" Negan announced as he began to walk away.

Your eyes locked with Daryl's panicked blue ones for a second before you turned your attention back to the group of men who were slowly walking closer to you and you knew you were screwed.

Daryl didn't hesitate as he punched the man closest to you before he turned to the next and punched him too and you quickly joined in. Throwing punches and kicking the men away, despite the pain it caused your injured hand.

You stuck by Daryl's side as you fought back until one of the men landed a nasty punch to Daryl's stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he fell to his knees trying to suck air back into his lungs.

The Saviours quickly took advantage of his vulnerability, kicking and punching him even more and that's when your eyes started to glow purple.

"Stop!" You screamed, raising your hands as you used your powers.

In a split second all the Saviours were floating in the air before you threw them into the side of the building, killing them all instantly.

You could feel blood starting to drip from your nose and the all too familiar ringing in your ears started as you dropped to the ground beside Daryl.

Your head started to spin from using in your powers and the last thing you saw was Negan walking towards you before your world turned black.

The first thing you were aware of when you started to wake up again was soft chatting in the background.

Slowly you opened your eyes, but frowned as you stared up a ceiling that definitely didn't belong to the cell you and Daryl were in.

Your head was thumping in pain as you tried to figure out what happened before it suddenly came flooding back.

You had used your powers. Shit, you must have passed out.

You quickly tried to sit up before you realised that your hand was tied to something.

Glancing down at your injured hand, you noticed that it was no longer injured. It was perfectly fine which just caused you to frown even more.

How long were you unconscious for?

You could see a heavy set of handcuffs clamped around your wrist and you followed the thick chain and realised that it was hooked to the wooden bedframe, but you didn't miss the angelic sigils carved into the metal which meant you couldn't break it.

How'd they know how to do that?

"Look who's finally awake." Your fathers voice called out.

Despite the cuffs, you managed to sit yourself up, realising that you were on someone's bed before you spotted your father standing on the other side of the room, but your eyes quickly flashed over to Carl who was standing beside him.

"Carl?" You questioned in disbelief as the boy stared at you in relief now that you were awake before you looked back at Negan. "What the hell is he doing here? Where's Daryl? If you hurt him, I swear to God-"

"Relax. Your redneck boyfriend is fine. I was just about to take Carl back to Alexandria, being the good person I am." Negan responded and you looked back over at Carl, your eyes scanning the boys body for any signs of injuries, but you did notice that his bandage had been removed from his eye and you immediately knew Negan was responsible for that because Carl never took it off.

"How'd you know to put sigils on the cuffs? How do you know what I am?" You questioned sceptically.

"Honestly? A man named Chuck warned me that someone with powers would show up one day and try destroy everything I have built. I thought he was bullshitting me until I met you and saw for myself what you're capable of."

Chuck had told him? But, you killed Chuck. How was that possible?

"Where is this Chuck guy now?" You asked cautiously because if Chuck was here and alive well... you were in trouble.

"Fucked if I know. I met him at the start of all of this and then he just disappeared."

"Does the name John Winchester mean anything to you?" You suddenly asked and you watched as Negan's body suddenly tensed up as he stared at you with an unreadable expression.

He recognised the name, but he didn't say anything.

"That is your name. Your name is John Winchester and you used to hunt the supernatural. Your wife's name was Mary and-"

"My name is Negan and my wife's name was Lucille." He corrected, staring at you in amusement.

It was clear that he didn't believe what you were saying in the slightest, but if there was a chance that your father was still in there somewhere, you were going to try.

"No. You married a woman named, Mary. And had two boys, Dean and Sam. Mary died when Sam was only a few months old and then you met an angel named Lucille and the two of you had a little girl who had some of her mothers angelic powers." You explained, staring at Negan trying to find anything in his expression that indicated towards him remembering, but there was nothing.

"Whatever mind games you're trying to play, it's not going to work."

"It's the truth. How do you think you knew about the supernatural in the first place? Your wife had long blonde hair, your first car was a '67 Chevy Impala and you have this tattoo on your chest." You continued, pulling down the collar of your jumper to expose your anti-possession tattoo that you had on your chest and Negan's eyes widened in shock and you knew all of what you said must be true. "Look, that Chuck guy you spoke to? That's God. And I think he has done something to you and you honestly believe that you're Negan, but you're not. Your name is John Winchester and you'd never do this. You'd never kill innocent people and rule over communities through fear. The real you would never do that."

Negan didn't say anything for a moment as he stared at you, almost seeming lost for words which you figured rarely happened for him.

Your eyes flashed over to Carl who's jaw was slightly open as he stared at you in shock and you realised that Carl and the others back home didn't know about Negan being your father.

"That's batshit crazy. Why are you persistent about this?" Negan questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because my name is Y/N Winchester and I'm your daughter."

Negan didn't say anything for a second before his face broke out into a grin as he began to laugh.

"You must have hit your head when you passed out. Don't worry, I'll send the doc up here to check on you. But, I should get going, give this kid back to his father." Negan stated turning back to Carl as he grabbed the boys shoulder and lead him out the door leaving you sitting on the bed even more confused than you were earlier.

Was this one of Chucks sick plans? Did he do this or was this something else entirely?

You honestly had no idea, but the one thing you did know was that you needed to get the hell out of here. If Negan was leaving to go to Alexandria, then this was your chance to get Daryl and escape. Except there was a small problem... you were still handcuffed to the bed and there was no way you could break the cuffs with the sigils on them.

You stared down at the cuffs on your hand for a while before your eyes landed on the wooden bedframe. You might not be able to get the handcuff off your wrist, but you could break the wooden post instead.

Without a further thought you quickly grabbed the end of the handcuff and despite your powers being affected you were still stronger than most people. You yanked the handcuff once and grinned hearing the wooden post crack. You yanked on the cuffs a few more times before the wooden bed post snapped clean off.

You slid the end of the cuff off the wooden post, tossing the wood onto he bed before you stood up. The now empty cuff dangled from your wrist, but you figured that was a problem for later. Rick could cut it with his axe or something, right now you needed to get out here.

You grabbed the dangling cuff with your cuffed hand, to silencing the chains from clanking together before you walked out the bedroom.

It didn't take long before you reached the door to Daryl's cell as you twisted the lock and pulled the door open to find Daryl sitting in the corner of the room.

He glanced up at the door, probably expecting to find Dwight, but his eyes widened when he saw you standing there.

"Fancy a prison break, Dixon? C'mon, let's get out of here." You quickly said, glancing down the hallway to make sure nobody was coming and a second later Daryl was on his feet as he rushed over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

"Thought ya were dead." He whispered into your neck as you hugged him back and smiled softly.

"Can't get rid of me that easily. Are you okay? Those pricks got a few good swings in before I killed them."

You pulled away from Daryl, your hands still on his shoulders as you scanned his body for injuries, noticing the already fading bruises over his face.

"Y/N, that was three days ago." Daryl said and you froze.

You were unconscious for three days? Well, that was news to you. Usually you'd just pass out for a few minutes if you over used your powers, but three days was new.

"No wonder my arm is sore, been in these cuffs for three damn days." You responded, holding your left hand up as Daryl frowned at the chains realising that your wrist was no longer injured. "I still heal quickly, just not as quick as usual."

You grabbed Daryl's hand with your free one and with that two of you began running down the hallway.

You barely made it around the corner before you could hear footsteps heading in your direction. Daryl quickly opened the nearest door and pulled you inside, closing the door behind himself as you held your ear to the door listening for the footsteps.

Daryl began to go through the room, finding an old flannel shirt and peanut butter. You watched as Daryl yanked off the dirty jumper and threw on the flannel while eating the peanut butter, offering you some, but you shook your head.

"They're gone, let's go." You instructed.

Daryl nodded in agreement as the two of you quietly snuck out the room.

You continued to jog down the dark hallway and before long you reached the door that lead to the small courtyard outside and you just hoped like hell that those motorcycles were still parked out there.

You quickly opened the door, rushing outside and you sighed with relief spotting the eight motorcycles lined up to the left and Daryl immediately made his way towards them while you stood watch.

"This one has the key. C'mon."

You began to make your way over to him before you heard footsteps again.

"Someone's coming." You whispered, glancing over at Daryl.

He quickly stopped what he was doing, picking up a lead pipe from the ground beside him just as Joey walked around the corner, about to bite into his sandwich before his eyes landed on the two of you and he froze.

"Whoa. Whoa. It's cool, I swear." Joey quickly said, raising his hands as he dropped his sandwich. His eyes flashing between the two of you in panic.

"Buddy, you guys can walk right through that back gate there and I won't say anything to anybody. I'm suppose to be there now, but listen... I'm-I'm just trying to get by just like you, please." Joey pleaded.

You weren't entirely sure what to do, but it didn't seem to matter because Daryl handled it by killing the man with a pipe. You just stood back watching, not entirely sure killing Joey was necessary, but you weren't about to stop him.

"Daryl?" A familiar voice called out and your eyes shot towards the voice to find Jesus rushing around the corner, staring at Daryl who just finished bashing Joey's head in with the pipe.

You opened your mouth about to ask why Jesus was here or how he even got here in the first place, but before you could even get a word out more footsteps filled the air and you quickly turned.

Daryl must have sensed something was wrong because he was by your side in an instant as you stared at the door to the building.

"What's wrong?" Jesus questioned, reaching your side as he followed your line of sight, staring at the door in confusion.

A second later, the door was kicked open by one of Negan's men, but your attention was purely focused on the man who walked out behind him.

Dean.

MASTERLIST

Next Chapter

-Gifs used are not mine. Credit to rightful owners.

#Daryl Dixon #Daryl Dixon x Reader #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #Destiel #supernatural #spn

119 notes · View notes

mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 3 years

Text

Don’t Say Goodbye

Word Count: 1,819

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (brief), John Winchester (brief), Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: it’s not good u dont have to read plz dont

Masterlist

“Dad, please. All I’m saying is that… Hey! Listen to me!” you ran in front of John, blocking him from the door.

“Move, now,” he glared, clenching his jaw.

“Do you even care about us?” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“(Y/N), get out of the way. Now,” he said.

“It’s Dean’s birthday. It’s Dean’s 13th birthday and you’re leaving. Again. Have you ever been here for one of his birthdays?” you raised your voice.

“You know, we don’t have a mother. We don’t even have you to call our dad. Yeah, leave again. Don’t even bother coming back at this point,” John kept quiet, only shoving past you as he slammed the door shut behind you.

You let out a sharp exhale, sitting down as you rubbed your head.

Why did it have to be like this? Sam and Dean were out at some library, Sam’s choice. You planned to surprise them when they got home, but apparently, John had another hunt to get to.

You let out a huff as you grabbed your jacket, going to the library to meet them.

---

“(Y/N),” Sam was resting on your back, while you held him tightly.

“Yeah, Dean?” you asked.

“Is Dad coming home soon?” you looked next to you, looking at your younger brother.

“Dad’s gonna be home when he can. But for now, we can have some fun! What do you want to do? Sam’s passed out so it’s just me and you for the night, kiddo,” you ruffled his hair as he pushed away from you.

“That’s so embarrassing, (Y/N)!” he exclaimed.

You laughed softly, holding his hand as the two of you made your way to the apartment.

---

“Did you eat breakfast?” you asked Dean.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Sammy, you too?” you turned to your younger brother.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Okay, let’s go,” you nodded, opening the door for the two of them.

“Did you eat breakfast, (Y/N),” Dean mocked your question.

“I’ll eat after I drop you two off at school,” Sam walked to the car, sitting in the backseat peacefully.

“How come you got to drop out of school? It’s not fair,” Dean grunted.

“Because I’m older than you,” you replied.

“That’s not a fair answer,” he said.

“Get in the car, Dean,” you rolled your eyes.

“What do you even do all day?” he scoffed.

“Car. Now,” you were used to Dean always questioning you, Sam being the only one who listened.

He muttered something to himself, sitting in the passage seat as he looked out the window.

---

“No,” you ran behind John.

“It's not your choice, (Y/N),” he said.

He agreed it was time for Dean’s first hunt.

“No, Dad. It's not safe,” you said.

“He's 15, (Y/N), it is time,” John argued.

“So what? We made a deal, Dad. Sam and Dean will not hunt until they’re old enough to make decisions this big,” you yelled at John.

“I need an extra hand,” John yelled.

“Then I’ll go with you! They can stay with Bobby, but under no circumstances are you going to make them hunt!” you yelled.

John made you hunt when you were as old as 8 years old. You hated hunting more than anything. But if you had to do it to keep your brother's safe, then you would.

“We’re leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready,” you nodded, running back to the motel room and started to gather some clothes.

---

“(Y/N), your eye!” Sam exclaimed, looking up at you.

“I’m fine, Sammy. It doesn't even hurt,” you said, closing the door behind you.

John was already gone.

You could feel your vision blur slightly but kept strong as you sat on the bed.

“Here,” Sam handed you an ice pack.

“Thanks, kid…. wait, where’s Dean?” you asked, realizing he wasn't there.

“He went out somewhere,” Sam said.

“What?! He left you here? Alone?!” you exclaimed, standing up.

“I-It’s okay, I’m a big kid,” Sam replied.

“You’re not a big kid, you’re 12. Get in the car. Do you know where the party is?” you said.

Your body and eye ached out in pain, as you bit your lip, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah. It’s….”

---

“You just embarrassed me in front of all those people!” Dean yelled, as you slammed the hotel door.

“You left Sam home alone!” you yelled at him.

“(Y/N), really, I’m fine,” Sam intervened.

“No, it’s not fine! Sam… just go in the bathroom!” you yelled.

Sam nodded softly, sitting in the bathroom as he closed the door.

“I don’t know why it’s a big deal! It’s one party!” Dean yelled, frustrated.

“It doesn't matter! You left him, by himself! He is 12, Dean! He is a child! A child in a hotel room by himself in the middle of the night!” you yelled.

“That’s not fair! Why should I have to sacrifice my life for him?!” Dean yelled.

“Because that's what being an older sibling is, Dean! You sacrifice your life for the sake of your brother! What if something happened to him, Dean?! What if he got hurt? What if a creature went after him?!” you screamed.

“Nothing happened! He was fine! You're so dumb and paranoid all the time! Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen!” you felt a pang in your chest as Dean spoke. You were taking away his life, his freedom. Just like John did to you.

“Go to bed,” you said softly.

“That's all you have to say now? Really?” Dean scoffed.

You opened the bathroom door, as Sam stood up.

“Both of you go to bed, it's late,” you said.

Sam nodded, walking to his bed.

You closed the door behind you, sitting on the ground as you held your head in your hands, ignoring the powerful burning sensation in your eye.

---

It would be easier to imagine that to be the worst argument that happened between you and Dean, but it wasn't the truth. Things only got worse after that, the two of you arguing about everything. The relationship between you two was now broken, and there wasn't any fixing it.

Sam left for Stanford. You were happy he got out. As time went on, you couldn't control if Sam and Dean hunted, you couldn't help them, they didn't need you anymore. John made it clear he didn't need you anymore.

He would send you on hunts by yourself, or with some random hunter, while he would go on hunts with Sam and Dean. Having a weak relationship with Dean also meant a worse one with Sam.

You and Dean had another fight. He was mad Sam left, he was mad that Sam abandoned the two of you. You were happy, you were proud.

Dad died. He sold his soul to save Dean. You should've done it first. You tried to talk to Dean, tell him it wasn't his fault. He only got mad at you. Another fight. You soon realized that it wasn't just the relationship between you and Dean that was broken, it was you.

Dean sold his soul to save Sam. He has a year left. He never talked about it, he never talked to you. After he died, you did the only thing you could. You sold your soul to bring him back. Unfortunately for you, you didn't know about Castiel, and how he was bringing Dean back. You were tricked. There was still a timer on your soul, a three-year timer, and there was no way out of it.

It was now your last month. Dean just came back from Purgatory, and you spent the last year looking for him. Your hallucinations had already started. You could feel your chest aching painfully as you took deep breaths. You had to tell them, but not just yet. In a little.

Time flew too fast. It was your last two days. Now or never.

“Sam’s not here right now,” Dean barely acknowledged you as you walked into the room.

“I know, I needed to talk to you,” you took a deep breath.

He turned around, facing you as he put his book down, crossing his arms.

“Is it important? I have other things to do,” he said.

You felt your face drop as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“N-No, we can talk later,” you said.

No, we can't. There won't be a later

He sighed, walking out of the room. You tried to speak, you tried to stop him, but you couldn't. You ran to your room, locking the door as you buried your face in your pillow, crying softly.

---

Your eyes were red as you walked to Dean, tears in your eyes. You had to tell him, you had to say something.

“I’m busy,” he said, turning his back to you.

“Just put the fucking book down,” he raised an eyebrow, turning to you before eyes widening, putting the book down.

“(Y/N)-” he started.

“I’ve spent the last three years trying to figure out how to say this. Just listen. I’m sorry, Dean, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry we didn't fix things between us, I’m sorry for ruining your life or whatever. But I care about you, and I love you because you're my younger brother. And that's never going to change. I only wanted the best for you and Sam, that's why I made your life a living hell and I’m sorry,” you stopped, as you took a shaky breath, looking down. Your heart was beating painfully fast, and your vision was blurred.

“Why are you saying that?” he tensed slightly, looking at you.

“Please, take care of yourself and take care of Sammy,” you bit your lip, holding in your cries.

You turned your back to him, closing your eyes.

“Stop it. Why are you saying goodbye? (Y/N),” Dean put his hands on your shoulders, turning you around to face him.

“What did you do?” he asked.

You stayed quiet, taking deep breaths.

“What did you do, (Y/N)?” he raised his voice.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, sniffling.

“I-I need you, you can’t… don’t… don’t say goodbye, (Y/N), please,” you could feel your heart breaking as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Dean,” you started.

“(Y/N), you’re the best person I-I have. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bitch, but just listen. You sacrificed everything for us. You took care of us, you kept us safe. I never understood it before, but I get it now. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you let out a soft cry as you squeezed him tightly.

“I-I have to g-go now. I don’t want to be here when it happens,” you whispered.

“No, I want to stay with you. Please,” he begged.

The two of you held onto each other tightly, crying. There was nothing more you could ask for.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #supernatural family #SPN #spn fic #SPN FANDOM #spn angst #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister reader #dean winchester x platonic!reader

269 notes · View notes

tintentrinkerin · 3 years

Text

adelphopoiesis

Author: tintentrinkerin

Title: adelphopoiesis

Requested by: @schaefchenherde

Header by: @wincestismyheart

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Sam

Warnings: Blood and Gore, Sam Drinks Dean’s Demon Blood, Anal Sex, Not Canon Compliant

Content: Chasing your baby brother around the bunker with a hammer is fun, right? But what if you tickle his thing for blood?

Read here or on AO3

Dean’s most effective weapon is not the hammer he destroyed the door with. The hammer that’s stuck in the wall now beside Sam’s head. It’s not his physical strength, radiating like utter heat from his body, showing in the tension of his neck, the firm grimace of his mouth, his pretty mouth. It’s not the First Blade. A blade powerful enough to kill anything and anyone, but Dean himself.

Sam’s only weapon is a lousy knife. A demon knife, that will barely leave a scratch on a Knight of Hell.

“It’s all you”, Dean says, leaning in the knife, leaning into Sam’s half hearted attack.

The way Dean looks at his brother, it’s tearing Sam apart in so many ways. Ways he thought he’d buried under guilt and hunts and lore and his shame. Sam gives in and takes the knife away, he will regret it so bitterly, he knows. Of course he knows. He can’t even lay a single finger on Dean. The demon in front of him wears the face of his brother but there is nothing left of his soft side for Sam. His voice, how he calls Sam, how he says Sammy, the hair, the determined look, the tongue against his teeth. Like he’s a predator and Sam’s the prey.

Dean’s eyes turn black.

It’s a whooshing sound and it darts Sam’s ears the moment he thought he’d surrender and then, the First Blade, fast as an arrow lands in Dean’s hand. There is not a blink for Sam to react before Dean looks at him with a triumphant smirk. The knife glides through Dean’s smooth skin of his throat like it’s warm butter. Blood spills.

Blood

Spills

Blood is Dean's most effective weapon.

Its smell is so familiar, so luring. So intimate and so…powerful. Sam turns and runs. He needs to go. He needs to get away.

“Oh Sammy, baby brother, don’t run away!”, Dean mocks.

Shit, he’s right behind Sam and Sam’s judgement clouds already. He isn’t even fast. It feels like running through molasses. The air feels thick and strong, pressing Sam down, and the smell of iron and lust and Dean, oh my God, it’s Dean’s blood! - He needs to get away! Sam manages to worm through the destroyed door to the electrical room, but he catches several splinters. Some even bite his face and he gets stuck with the cast of his elbow. Spraining the right elbow, why, Sam, why did that happen? Everything’s against him.

Memories of Ruby appear in his head. Of the smell, the taste, her body, the sex. The grunting and the mind blowing orgasm, the banging against walls everywhere they went. The power, the trip. His increasing power, a stimulant better than any human known drug. It resonates all within him with the odor of Dean’s musk and his blood. He can smell its potential, its strong taste. Sam even imagines how it would make him feel. Running away never felt so hard like right now. He remembers the withdrawal and the pain behind his eyes blinds him as he trips in the hallway and tumbles against a wall. Stinging pain in his arm, in his head and his legs feel heavy. It’s like he has Dean’s breath in his neck all this time. Even though he can’t hear him come close at all. It sounds like Dean is far away, in another world.

“Come on, Sammy, I know you want a sip of it. Makes you all giddy, doesn't it? I can smell you. All of you.”

Sam yells something, but he can’t even make out what he says.

“Keep runnin’ if you must, but you know I gotta find you sooner or later. It’s my home, too!”

The alarm is blaring again and Sam has no idea how far he can run. There won’t be any walls that might hold Dean back. He’s regaining strength, the human blood wears off. Even that Sam can smell. How much stronger Dean gets with every minute.

“I taste delicious, Sammy. Just fuckin’ delicious.”

Oh, yes, Sam bets he does, that’s exactly why he needs to keep running. The smell gets even more intense now and Sam wonders how much Dean can cut himself up with the First Blade. He should’ve given the damn thing to Crowley when he had the chance to do so.

“Stay away”, he croaks.

There’s another hallway, one leading deep into the intestines of the Forbidden Bunker, how Dean and him called it jokingly, when they discovered it. An area full of locked doors made of the weirdest materials. Only one chance is left for Sam, when he finds that one door he unlocked in these months without Dean. He had learned a lot about witchcraft since Dean left this note on his bed, when he left Sam for Crowley and a life as a demon. When the only way to save himself from Dean was to hide himself in a panic room again, hallucinate again, he would have to do it. He rather sees Lucifer again, Mary, Bobby, all the victims they couldn’t save than to fall for Dean’s lure. Drink his own brother’s blood. This was perverted, disgusting, twisted. Even for them. The monster hunters, the monster fuckers, the monsters themselves.

“The longer you run, the harder I bleed, brother!”

Sam tries every door on the way, but none opens. Sam’s eyes sting from the smell. What the hell is Dean doing? Covering the walls in blood? That would be insane. Even Dean would faint at one point. It must be impossible to drain a body so much before it dies. Dean isn’t possessing a body, he still has his own, whatever that means for him and his physis then. Sam trips again, he falls, on his right arm of course. He tears up from the pain that fills his chest, his arm, his shoulder. He can’t survive that long if doesn’t find a hide-out.

It seems to be near, because Sam still can read the signs on the doors and when he finds room 616, he pushes the door open with a long and agonizing cry and slams it shut. It’s the door he unlocked already, a room, bleak as an empty tomb. Cold and pitchblack, there’s no electrical light, just candles, but Sam won’t be able to find them. He can just hide in here, pressed against a wall, praying to Castiel, to Hannah. He even cries for Crowley inside, someone needs to help him.

Footsteps.

The smell of blood. The First Blade scraping on the tiles, Sam knows it’s that.

“Gotcha! I really thought you’d be a bit cleverer than that. Where’s the fun when you cage yourself like a mouse?”

The door bursts open, way too easily. None of the sigils and runes seem to be an obstacle for Dean. And when light shines in the room and Sam can see not only Dean’s silhouette but also his face, he knows. Dean is covered in his own blood. His face, his slit throat, still pumping blood in long and rhythmic spurts from the wound. His arms are drenched in blood and now, with a biting smile, Dean looks at Sam and the Blade carves an S in Dean’s arm.

“Come here, Sammy. Come to your big bro and lemme get you something real good

The stench is so intense now that Sam first vomits in violent jerks and then faints. The last thing he sees before the world turns completely black is Dean’s triumphant, sweet smile and his eyes. His normal green eyes.

When Sam awakes again, he is tied up. Bound to a chair. They’re in the dungeon again, how did Sam come here? His head aches like it’s been run over by a stampede of bulls and his mouth tastes like vomit and blood. He tenses immediately as he’s present enough to realize his situation. Dean has tied him up here, and now he’s sitting on the desk in one corner, right beside the blood donor box that Sam got from the hospital. His legs swing and he hums a strange melody.

“Oh, look who’s up.”

Dean jumps on his feet. Sam can see the First Blade, the damn Blade, resting on the table. Then Dean takes the syringes of human blood and starts spilling them.

“You won’t need them anymore, Sammy. I think I won our little chase.”

“Dean, don’t do that… please. I can still…”

Dean hisses. His eyes turn black.

“You can still what, brother dearest? I already told you. I am what I am now, I am free. I’m finally free. Of humanity. I’m strong now. Efficient. Deadly.”

Sam winces when he moves in the ties. The ropes cut in his flesh and Dean removed the sling on his arm. His elbow hurts so much, it’s taking his words away.

“You were deadly before already. The Mark made you powerful.”

“But guess what, I’m even better now. Dean Winchester 2.0 - I’m all in for my upgrade. You see it as a bad thing, but what I see is … potential. Chances. Oh Sammy, I can conquer the world. Hell. Heaven. You really want the boring Dean back, huh?”

Sam shakes his head but that makes him feel dizzy, he stops.

“I want my brother back. The brother I loved.”

Dean’s black eyes target Sam like he’s prey again and he hates being looked at like this. It makes him feel less human, less Dean’s brother.

“I am your brother. Nothing ever changed that. But I told you to stay away from me, I told you not to look for me. But you did. You plotted against me, with Crowley, with Cas. You tied me up in this chair, you tortured me with human blood. Against my will. For someone who’s all over the place with autonomy and respecting boundaries you violated mine just perfectly.”

Sam squirms. The problem is that Dean is right. But Sam did it for the greater cause, didn’t he? Dean becoming human again was the best for everyone!

“You make me sound like the bad guy here, that’s not fair”, Sam mutters.

Dean laughs and it’s a deep, rough laugh that makes Sam’s skin crawl. This is so much Dean, even darker than usual. And it shakes Sam to the core.

“Good, bad… Who cares. Human categories, bullshit. Nothing’s fair, Sam.”

“I need something to drink”, Sam says faintly now.

He won’t make Dean untie him, that’s for sure, but maybe Cas will come to the rescue soon, he can maybe delay things. Also he needs to get rid of the taste of old blood in his mouth. Dean doesn’t reek of his blood that bad anymore, Sam is very much aware of the pink line across Dean’s throat. A scar. The blade will cause scars. Or at least the weapon delays even Dean’s healing.

Dean smiles.

“Sure. But why waste water on you when I kill you anyway?”

Sam’s heart sinks.

“Will you?”

Dean shrugs as if he doesn’t give a shit at all.

“Thinking about it. But you’re my brother, as you keep on reminding me. Maybe I should give you a chance to redeem yourself in my eyes and let you live?”

“And how would you do that?”, Sam asks, winding in his ties.

Dean goes away. Doesn’t say another word. Sam is stunned and damn, holy shit, he’s afraid. Dean will kill him. But what is it with the possibility of letting him live?

The smell of iron. Like a perfume, soft and silky. No. No no no.

“Dean? Dean!”, Sam cries and fights the restraints harder.

He did it again. He slit his fucking throat, Sam knows it. And this time, he won’t be able to run, he won’t be able to fight back. He’s tied up, he’s in pain, he’s weak. It’s not like with the other hunters who wanted to force him to drink demon blood. He could fight them off, but now?

Emaciated. Sick. Depressed. A broken arm. Hungry. Tied up. The addiction is pulsating through his veins, giving him the chills. It’s hot and cold at the same time. Like crackling in the air, the heavy scent of blood and Dean, he can only say no.

Dean won’t take a no, why should he? He’s a Knight of Hell. Sam is human. His brother is back, his throat cut deep enough to see the structures of muscles, veins, nerves, his trachea, the pulsing blood. Sam vomits all over his shirt, but there’s not much left except bitter, yellow gall.

“You’re sick, huh?”, Dean coos in a voice like he did when Sam was younger. It’s meant for comfort but now it just feels like mockery and Sam wonders how he deserves to see his brother slit his throat, twice, just to seduce Sam to drink it. It's so fucked up. It’s low, even for lean, mean Dean. Human Dean would’ve never provoked Sam’s demon blood addiction.

Sam nuzzles against the hand that’s stroking his face, his eyes squeezed shut. His lips tremble.

“Let me make you feel better, don’t pull away, Sammy…”

Sam cries out and some ugly big tears fall down his face. Is it so easy to break? He’s gone through so much pain already, through torture, rape, withdrawal. He was betrayed by everyone he loved, especially Dean. Dean’s hand is warm, but his skin feels like marble when Sam leans in, rubs his face in the palm of Dean’s hand. Is this still his brother? Is there any humanity left?

But what would that change? They’re here now. In a bunker soaked with demon blood, Sam is tied up, Dean reigns.

“Hush, hush”, Dean purrs, both of his hands holding Sam’s bobbing head. “It’s gonna be alright… Sammy, just give in. There will be no more pain, just us. You and me, against the world. Like it used to be.”

Sam opens his eyes but all he sees is blurry and red, it stinks of iron and vomit and Dean’s black eyes…

“I wanna see your normal eyes”, is all Sam can say right now.

A smirk.

“Anything for you, Sammy.”

And Dean’s eyes flash back to green and Sam can have the illusion of his brother just for a moment longer. Thick dark blood is pulsing out of Dean’s cut on his throat.

“It looks disgusting, Dee.”

Dean only laughs.

“It’s not supposed to be beautiful.”

Dean cups his hand before the dripping wound, collects a tiny lake of blood in his hand and then, gently presses his blood covered hand against Sam’s lips.

The world turns upside down. Sam feels the spinning, the spinning, the spinning!

The taste makes him want to barf, violently, but the old creature, the blood sucking monster was waiting patiently beneath the surface. Patient but greedy. Now it’s unleashed it bursts out and the first drops, he swallows. His lips limp and curled in utter disgust, but now, oh now, there’s a jolt running through his body, he sits straight up, first ties grinding, the ropes won’t last. The shackles won’t last.

“Come on, sweet baby boy, you want more…” Dean sings, eyes black as the night.

And slowly, very slowly and enjoying, Sam’s lips brush Dean’s hand, collect the blood, a tongue, pink, hot sneaks out, licks the offered hand.

The ropes break. The pain in Sam’s arm fades. It’s a movement even Dean didn’t see coming when Sam bursts out of all restraints he put on him and grips Dean’s hand tight, as tight as possible and sucks three of Dean’s fingers dry.

The Knight of Hell rejoices, pulls Sam close, closer than they’ve been for a very long time.

“That’s it, Sammy, yes, that’s it, let me take care of you… such a greedy boy…”

Dean’s voice is distant to Sam, distorted and hollow, he remembers their youth, the motel rooms, the flickering lights, the old tv, how Dean smelled of whiskey and beer. John’s passed out in an armchair, stained in blood, piss and vomit.

He remembers Dean’s care. The kisses at night, the stealthy handjobs in the shower, how Dean ‘taught’ him how people do it.

Make love.

Sam was twelve. Dean was sixteen. And he was a grower.

A slut.

All of this drenched in velvety red tint.

The ritual.

“Let me take care of you, Sammy…”

“I love you, Dee.”

“Never tell anyone.”

And Sam never had told anyone (but Lucifer knew - he knew everything) and deep down, buried in his mind, these feelings were in peaceful slumber, violently dragged across the floor now, kicking and crying,

A W A K E

Sam is awake.

He remembers the awkward, painful, dry fuck in the back of the Impala after they killed the Wendigo, so long ago, and how they never ever said a word.

Spit is shitty lube.

So is blood.

It roars. The monster roars in Sam’s chest. It’s in agony, it’s in joy, it’s free!

And Sam is just a puppet, always been nothing more than a puppet. He watches himself suck Dean’s fingers, then sticking his own fingers in the wound, stir it, stir Dean’s insides. The gurgling, the retching. Dean’s satisfied moans, his hands all over Sam’s now healed body.

“Yes, Sammy, let it all out, come on… Let it all out.”

Sam only hisses. This blood, Dean’s blood, the blood of a demon, of a Knight. It’s so much more potent than Ruby’s or any other demon’s he’s ever drank and tasted. Dean is delicious. Demon tend to taste like rotting meat, titan arum aroma.

But Dean tastes of all the good things. Dahlia, petrichor, amber. His musk makes Sam’s blood boil and his pants bulge.

“Sammy.”

“Dean”, is the first thing New Sam says.

What Monster Sam says. His voice sounds low, rough, barely in control. His body is shaking, too much force is withhold now.

“Brother.”

The wound on Dean’s throat is closing up again already, the healing ability is really incredible. Sam will bite it open very, very soon, but first…

Dean doesn’t protest, he doesn’t fight back at all when Sam slams him down to the ground like he weighs nothing. There’s the crunchy sound of maybe, bones breaking, or just getting sprained, but even that, Dean will heal in no time. Dean lies on his stomach, attempts to get up.

“Sammy-”

“Sammy is not here right now.”

There’s no surprise, no scare in Dean’s voice. Sam stomps his bare foot in Dean’s back and Dean stays, doesn’t even breathe. The adrenaline rush in Sam’s ears makes him deaf for most other things and seeing demon Dean down on his stomach, defeated so easily, it’s almost an insult. Sam crouches down, one foot still on Dean’s back, pressing him down.

“You surrender?”, Sam asks, eyebrows raise.

“I didn’t mean to fight you at all.”

Dean chuckles, his voice raspy

Sam drags Dean on all fours, rips apart his shirt (the pretty red shirt, ruined with blood anyway) and Jeans and when he holds Dean’s hips, bends over and bites Dean’s neck, Dean hisses “Come on, Sammy, that’s it.”

That’s it.

Sam tears apart skin, Dean’s blood gushes in Sam’s mouth, warm and silky, smooth and delicious.

“Is that what you wanted?”, Sam says in a breathless moment, before he starts sucking the wound dry, the bleeding will stop soon, way too soon for Sam to be satisfied.

Dean growls deeply, pushes against Sam. Pleading. Sam pushes two fingers inside Dean, but feels very quickly, Dean doesn’t need it. He doesn’t want it. He needs Sam. He rips off his jeans, down to his knees and when that’s not giving him enough space, he just tears it to shreds completely. Dean’s ass is perfect. Round, juicy, firm. When he gives it a slap - a hard one - he enjoys the noise Dean makes. And then he thrusts completely inside, without hesitation. No foreplay. No gentle feeling ahead and preparing Dean’s wonderfully tight and delicious ass. He feels amazing, hot, tight, smooth. Dean hands grip Sam’s wrists tight while he fucks into him, raw, without anything to soothe the pain, make it easier, make Dean nice, slick and wet. But he doesn’t complain at all.

“That’s it”, Dean chants, in his low, low “Let’s finish this game” voice. That’s it, over and over.

This is no sex Sam would ever have if he was in his right mind. Covered in his own vomit, Dean’s blood, on the cold floor. Not that he has fucked any guy after he fled off to Stanford anyway. Dean is all he knows. He only knows what Dean taught him about fucking ass.

Dean starts getting slippery with his own blood, Sam’s blood infused spit and finally, cum. Sam loses the feeling of time and space, all he can do is fuck Dean until one of them passes out, and if Dean passed out, Sam would continue anyway.

The adrenaline rush plummets too early for Sam’s taste, the haze clears up and he’s getting aware of his ripped off clothes, the shreds of Dean’s. The fluids, the smell, the feeling. Crust everywhere. Dean is still on his knees, head sunken on the floor, his arms stretched out, breathing heavily. There’s no sign that he’s in pain. But Dean’s a demon, right? He will be fine.

Sam drags him up, and the cocky smile, the perfect hair, it’s all gone. Dean looks like he’s had the same otherworldly experience. It’s a sight that makes Sam chuckle.

“What are you laughing at?”, Dean asks, coming on his feet, gently swaying, but finally his wounds are closing up.

“You threatened to rip my throat out. With your teeth.”

“Not there yet, Sammy. Not yet.”

The situation is unreal, Sam feels unreal. He knows he will never be the same. Something’s broken inside him, crumbled - yet ready to expand again, into unknown territory.

He doesn’t remember the coercion, Dean’s betrayal - or was it Dean’s way of deliberating Sam?

Sam, leaning on the table, watches Dean come close and he leans in, a hand in Sam’s hair, gently pulling. Their kiss isn’t gentle, nothing will be gentle for a while. Teeth clash, the table scrapes along the floor and the throbbing of Dean’s pulse makes Sam rise up again. Dean bites Sam’s neck, sharp pain - and Dean drinks. The feeling is satisfying and roughening Sam up at the same time. He pulls his Knight close, closer, grabs him and bends him over the table, both still bleeding, Dean high from Sam’s blood.

“For a Knight of Hell, you’re very pliant”, Sam growls in Dean’s ear.

Dean chuckles.

“I just bend the knee to my King.”

Sam frowns.

“What do you mean?”

Dean hikes up and drags Sam to the mirror in the Dungeon.

“Take a look”, Dean hums, rich and satisfied in tone, “acknowledge who you are.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. First, Sam’s mossy eyes just look glassy, clear, beaming with desire for Dean.

Then he draws in his breath with a sharp hiss.

“You got your daddy’s eyes, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes turned yellow.

#wincest #dean x sam #samdean #deansam #demon!dean #sin is sinning #tw:blood #tw:gore #tw:addiction #kink:blood #bottom!dean #powerful!sam #demon blood!sam #yellow eyes!sam #boyking!sam #tw:smut #tw:violence #tw:knives

53 notes · View notes

hawkland · 3 years

Text

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out.

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas recs #fandom that ate my life hello #destiel fic recs #my destiel recs

28 notes · View notes

deantransgressions2 · 3 years

Text

13x02 the rising son

21 transgressions. enjoy.

#1: dean criticized sam for wanting to protect jack, and then devalued jack’s entire existence to an “it”.

sam: “look… losing mom and cas, that’s a lot to process, dean, especially on no sleep. and the kid...”

dean: “the “kid”? come on, man, you know how this plays out. kook, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t so bad or that things will get fixed, that’s when people that we care about get hurt. and then we end up doing what we should’ve done in the first place, which is end the problem. so this time, let’s start with the obvious. soon as i find a way to take care of… it.”

time tag: 3:17

#2: after sam failed again to make dean see jack as a child, he tried to make dean see jack as an asset. dean refused to listen or consider any of sam’s insights, and admitted that he is giving up on family, which is something he claims he would never ever ever ever ever do.

sam: “dean, “the problem” might be our only shot at saving mom.”

dean: “mom’s gone. there’s no fixing that.”

time tag: 3:44

#3: jack was happily watching scooby doo and bothering nobody, so of course dean walked over and scolded him, then turned the tv off. apparently watching tv is illegal now yall!!

time tag: 9:03

#4: told jack to take the couch and threw a bible at him. luckily, sam isn’t a child murderer and made sure jack felt welcome. sam = good dad. but, dean winchester is already worse of a father than john was. you hate to see it.

time tag: 9:11

#5: dean criticized jack for eating the exact same way he does. mocking a 3 day old child just for the sake of it, just to make himself feel better. he is pathetic. idk why jack and sam put up with him these next 3 seasons.

dean: “you can slow down, you know. that’s stuff’s not gonna disappear.”

sam: “ever seen you eat, dean?”

time tag: 10:02

#6: yells at jack for copying his movements. he’s 3 days old...3 days old. 3.

time tag: 11:35

#7: sam has been rooting for jack to not be evil. he is focusing on WHO jack is not what he is. dean, however, is counting on jack being evil so he can murder him. the confirmation bias is real here. any instance of jack showing humanity dean just tunes it out. this conversation should remind you of dean’s view of sam in s4/5

donatello: “yes, well, not so much anymore. but, uh…look at you. the waves of power… so intense.”

dean: “maybe less human than we thought.”

donatello: “fascinating. you know, i’ve met your father. your power’s nothing like his. not dark, not toxic.”

sam: “that so?”

dean: “not yet.”

time tag: whole time but 15:58

#8: he was a dick to the tattoo artist for no reason expect that he loves to take his anger out on others.

time tag: 16:44

#9: when in doubt blame sam! when in doubt accuse sam! when in doubt manipulate sam! wooohooo!!!

sam: “so you heard donatello. no evil vibes from jack.”

dean: “proves nothing, except that you’re way too attached to this kid. you need to see this for what it is, okay?”

time tag: 16:54

#10: lessons from our sexist macho man icon:

jack: “it hurt.”

dean: “okay, see, sometimes, things hurt, so you just man up and deal with it.”

time tag: 17:21

#11: some more of dean refusing to listen to other’s correct observations of jack, because there is no changing his mind that jack is evil. he doesn’t need proof that jack is evil, because he doesn’t want it. he wants to murder jack regardless of who he is. dean only cares about WHAT jack is. sigh. 2x03 i miss you.

time tag: 18:43

#12: dean claimed that since cas loved jack, jack is therefore responsible for his murder. even though it was literally lucifer that murdered cas, not jack. so, using dean’s logic: sam and john killed mary, sam killed jess, dean killed john, sam killed dean, sam and dean and bobby killed jo and ellen, dean killed sam, dean and sam killed cas multiple times, sam and dean killed kevin....etc etc. do you see how fucking stupid dean is being rn?

sam: “okay, look, yeah, jack is on lucifer’s family tree. but we don’t know if that dna is stronger than Kelly’s, or his connection with cas.”

dean: “oh, you mean the connection that got cas killed?”

sam: “i’m just saying, jack doesn’t have to be evil. we can teach him not to be.”

time tag: 18:53

#13: dean called jack ‘the devil’ which made jack so upset he ran away. this is a transgression obviously towards jack, but also towards sam. dean said that a 3 day old child (who literally hasn’t done anything wrong) is the devil. he said it in front of his brother who was tortured by the ACTUAL devil (and michael) for centuries. it’s insensitive and fucked up beyond belief for dean to use his brother’s abuser to try and manipulate him to conform to his beliefs on jack.

NOT TO MENTION that dean is the only member of team free will with absolutely no supernatural abilities at all. he does not understand jack. he does not understand lucifer. dean is the LAST person who should have a say in if jack is good or evil.

time tag: 19:25

#14: this is a abuse apology. many victims of abuse are manipulated to apologize for them and sympathize with them. this is a prime example of that:

sam: “dean doesn’t hate you. it… look, sometimes the wires in dan’s head get crossed and...and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and...and fear.”

jack: “why would he be afraid?”

sam: “because dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone.”

time tag: 20:45

#15: did the writers include this scene to emphasize that dean is john (but worse)....because that’s exactly what it did.

bartender: “i hated my old man. I ran away myself. see, my mom would never stick up for me. but…you know kids. no matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. well, that’s how it was with me, just…”

dean: “you know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.”

i’m not sure what dean is referring to here because based on what the bartender is saying, sam would relate more to her story than dean but ok! sure! pity party time needs no logic

time tag: 22:17

#16: sam had to seperate jack and dean in order to protect jack. sam felt that jack was safer with a man that had no soul (donatello), over his own brother. and he was right!

time tag: 23:11

#17: dean made fun of sam and jack by calling jack sam’s “new pal” as a way to not only degrade jack, but also ridicule sam.

time tag: 27:08

#18: dean is angry that sam isn’t blindly following along with his plans for jack’s death. and everything sam tried to say to get dean out of his child murdering mindset goes in one ear and out the other.

sam: “point is…if you and i are gonna do this, keep jack on the right side of things, then...then we have to be on the same page.”

dean: “okay. well, that’s the problem, though, sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. like, at all.”

sam: “all right. you know what? i know what’s going on here.”

dean: “oh. okay. well, please, tell me, what’s going on here?”

sam: “you thinking mom is gone and cas is gone, and that jack can’t be saved. dean, after everything we’ve gone through… we just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. everything’s upside-down. i get it. but we’ve been down before. i mean, rock bottom. and we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. and jack w-wants to do the right thing. jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.”

you know who else was scared of their father figure? dean. and sam. and now jack. dean stans can hate john all they want but the truth is dean is far worse. they both deserve a special place in hell together

time tag: 27:19

#19: the mental gymnastics it takes to come to this conclusion about jack. to ignore any and all proof that jack isn’t evil. it’s shocking how strongly dean holds onto hate and his need to kill.

sam: “dean, wait a second. the kid came through for us today. jack saved us.” dean: “no. no, whatever that was, that was a reflex. it was a sneeze. maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us. goodnight.”

time tag: 39:32

#20: dean drove jack to self harm. dean then proceeded to angrily tell him off and call him names for doing so.

dean: “okay. what the hell? give me that. you...don’t be an idiot. look, a, this is not gonna do anything to you, okay? and b, you… what the hell?”

time tag: 40:35

#21: this is psychological abuse. this is child abuse. this scene is as bad as the panic room of s4. disgusting. and some people actually ship this man with this child’s father (castiel). get help.

dean: “you know, my brother thinks you can be saved.” jack: “you don’t believe that.” dean: “no, i don’t.”

jack: “so… if you’re right?”

dean: “if i’m right… and it comes to killing you… i’ll be the one to do it.”

time tag: 41:07

#13x02 the rising son #this episode took me like 2 hours to do oh my GOD #heavy #spn #dean negative #dean critical #jack kline #<3 #tw verbal abuse #emotional manipulation/abuse #tw self harm #pity party tag!#controlling #gaslighting #hypocrisy #sexism #belittling #anti dean winchester

42 notes · View notes

curlynerd · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday Dean

Dean yawned as he padded down the bunker hallway in socked feet. He wished that was a sign of impending sleep, but unfortunately insomnia plagued him tonight. He hoped a glass of milk and a small snack would help him along.

But the kitchen light was on, and he could hear someone moving around in there. He frowned. Sam went to bed hours ago. Cas too, since he needed his beauty rest now that he was human. Jack was almost certainly engrossed in his newest Minecraft addiction.

So Dean tensed. He thought about going back to his room for a gun, but he knew it was almost certainly one of the other men, probably also searching for a midnight snack. Still, he crept as quietly as he could and peered around the corner, just to be safe.

It was only Cas, standing with his back turned to Dean, an unholy mess on the counter in front of him, hunched over watching something on his phone.

Dean relaxed and smiled. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?” he said as he swaggered into the kitchen. Cas jumped, sending a canister of spices toppling over and spilling on the counter and across his apron. Correction, Dean’s apron. Dean’s grin widened.

“Dean!” Cas whirled around and clutched the counter behind him with his arms spread as wide as possible, like he could block the entire thing with his body. Dean raised an eyebrow. Suspicious. “What are you doing up?”

“A guy can’t grab a bite from his own kitchen?” Dean advanced on him, and Cas pressed up against the counter. Definitely trying to hide something. “Whatcha got going on over here, Julia Child?” Dean tried to lean around Cas, who tilted right there alongside him, but Dean could see flour, butter, brown sugar, and a big bag of apples.

“I’m just making a snack,” Cas huffed. His irritated sulk did nothing to cover up the unmistakable suspicion of his body language, nor the panicked flicker in his bright blue eyes.

“Mighty involved snack for two in the morning,” Dean remarked, undaunted. He kept dancing around Cas until Cas had no choice but to either let him see or shove him away. Cas chose the former, though he rolled his eyes spectacularly. There was a large lump of...well something. It was limp and soggy and had large, visible lumps of butter dotted throughout the flour mess. “Baking?”

Cas folded his arms. His black sleeping shirt was a mess of flour. His dark hair was dusted with white too. Dean bit his lip to fight down his own grin at how tragic and adorable he looked. “I can’t tell you.”

Well that caught Dean’s attention. “Why not?” he challenged, staring Cas down.

Cas squinted at him and turned his lips down in his own very serious version of a pout. “It’ll ruin the surprise.”

Dean blinked. “Surprise? What--” And then he remembered what tomorrow was. “This for my birthday?”

Cas let out a beleaguered sigh. “You weren’t supposed to find out until morning.”

Warmth spread through Dean’s chest. Cas was baking something for him? He tried to squash down the tickling joy and chuckled. “Cas, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but that’s the worst attempt at a cake I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s going to be pie,” Cas said, his deep voice even heavier than usual with petulant remorse.

“Pie?” Now Dean was interested. He looked down at the pastry blob on the counter. “That’s never going to bake right.”

“Yes. Thank you. I was able to deduce that myself.” Cas turned back to his disaster. “I was trying to find a video to help fix it.”

Dean clapped him on the shoulder. “I think you might have to scrap it and start over.”

Cas shook his head. “Nonsense. I just need to cut in more flour. The YouTube video says so.”

“You gonna trust some mommy blogger over me?”

“Absolutely.”

Ten minutes of bickering and one triumphant “I told you so” from Cas later, and their mostly correct-looking pastry dough was chilling in the fridge. Somehow Dean also wound up with flour all over his chest and pajama bottoms. Cas tried to give him his apron back, but Dean insisted he keep it on. Any opinions on how silly and domestic Cas looked in an apron were wisely kept to himself.

Dean clapped his hands together. A tiny puff cloud of flour ghosted around them. “Alright. Step one done. What next? The apples?” He patted Cas’ shoulder and grinned at the white handprint he left behind. “You peel, I’ll start measuring out the other ingredients.” Dean flashed his most innocent smile, feeling pretty smug that he’d pawned off the least desirable task on Cas. Cas eyed him for only a second, suspicious, before he went to work.

Dean first focused on wiping up the mess of cinnamon Cas had made when Dean came in and startled him. Once that was done he chanced a glance to Cas, who was mangling the hell out of his apple with the paring knife. Dean tisked at him. “Man, what’re you doing? You’re gonna peel off your own skin!” Dean reached over and yanked the knife from Cas’ hand. “Who the hell taught you how to use a blade?”

Cas handed the apple to Dean. “I was created with that knowledge,” he remarked dryly.

“Well we all know Chuck sucked at teaching anything.” Cas rolled his eyes, but Dean caught the tiny smile on his lips at Dean’s antics. Dean grinned as he held the apple and knife in front of him with a flourish. “Like this, man. Don’t slice off half the apple with the peel.” Dean demonstrated while Cas leaned in close to observe him. Dean could feel the warmth of his body practically touching him, distractingly close and smelling like his soap and the cinnamon all over his apron. Dean almost nicked himself. He cleared his throat and hastily shoved his supplies back into Cas’ hands. “You try.”

He only watched for about ten seconds before Dean was back to scolding Cas. “No that’s even worse! Your thumb is too close. Here--” And without thinking about it, Dean shuffled in closer and curled his hand around Cas’ to carefully arrange his grip. “Like this.”

Castiel went very, very still. “Of...Of course, Dean,” he said, but his voice was tense and even deeper than normal, like he was doing everything in his power to keep it steady and sure. Dean looked up at his face, but Cas’ eyes were locked on their hands.

Dean yanked his hand away like it was electrocuted. He tried to cover his tracks by clearing his throat and rubbing them over his thighs. “Anyway. Uh. Yeah. Hold it like that.”

Something quiet and sad flickered across Cas’ eyes, making Dean’s racing heart drop into his stomach. Dean forced a smile until Cas turned back to his peeling.

The silence in the kitchen was heavy. Memories of Cas’ confession weighed down the air, pressing against Dean and keeping him from saying anything more. His own fears choked him. Fears that Cas didn’t mean what he’d said, not in the way Dean wanted him to. And especially not now that he was human, with a human’s feelings, and a human’s experience and all of the mess and confusion and resentment that came with it.

Besides, Cas didn’t deserve someone broken like Dean. And Dean didn’t deserve someone amazing like Cas.

Because at the very least, Cas deserved someone who could look him in the eye when reminded of the fact that he loved him.

Dean scrubbed at his hair and bit back a sigh.

“If you’re just standing around, you can at least slice these,” Cas said, his voice steady and calm again, slicing through the awkward silence and Dean’s pitiful thoughts with the same ease as he cut through the apple peels now that Dean had shown him how. He held out a naked apple for Dean.

Dean immediately grabbed at the lifeline he was given. “You gonna make me cut my own apples for my own birthday pie, Cas?”

Cas’ gaze was unimpressed. “Yes.” He pressed the apple into Dean’s hand and turned back to his own task. Dean made a face at his serious profile, but did as he was told.

The silence surrounding them shifted gradually, moving from awkward to comfortable as they settled into something familiar, working side-by-side, not needing to say a word to fill the quiet between them.

After the third apple, thinly sliced and placed into a big mixing bowl, Dean chanced a glance at Cas. At this angle he could see wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, a clear sign of his humanity. Underneath them the skin was dark and heavy. He was obviously tired. But his eyes were still as bright as the day Dean met him, now shining with a quiet light of contentment.

Dean didn’t understand it

How could someone look so happy just standing next to him? How could Cas, a former angel, find peace and purpose in doing something so humble?

Yet here he was, baking Dean a pie in the middle of the freaking night. Using his own two hands to make a nice surprise for his birthday. Dean couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something like this for him. Maybe never. Even Mary’s pies were store bought.

Dean smiled as warm sunshine settled in his chest. Perhaps it didn’t matter if Dean understood it all, because Cas was happy where he was no matter what Dean thought.

Cas must have sensed a shift in his posture, because he glanced over to him. “What?” He tilted his head at Dean. Dean shook his head a little and didn’t answer, only let his smile grow as he turned back to the apples. In the corner of his eye, he could see Cas still staring at him, but Cas didn’t press for more, and after a moment he returned to his peeling. When Dean glanced at him again, he was smiling too.

They worked in easy silence until the apples were all peeled and sliced. They bickered again as they made the filling, Cas insisting they follow the recipe to the letter while Dean insisted that no, it needed at least twice as much cinnamon. Dean won that round by playing the birthday card. As he rolled out the pie crust, Cas made a few passive aggressive comments about how following the recipe saved the pastry. And when Dean countered by looking him dead in the eye and adding even more cinnamon to the filling, Cas gifted him with a rare laugh that made Dean’s chest swell with smug pride and golden warmth.

They fell back into easy silence while Cas carefully lined their pie tin with pastry. Dean spooned the filling into the tin, packing in as much as he could. While Cas carefully laid the top crust over it and finished things off, Dean helped himself to the leftover slices of crunchy, spicy, sweetened apples.

“Damn Cas, I think I’ve outdone myself this time,” he said with an impertinent wink as Cas slid the pie into the preheated oven and set their kitchen timer. He held out a bite for Cas. “Try it. It’s awesome.”

“Dean, you’re not supposed to eat raw flour.”

Dean rolled his eyes and held up the fork even higher. “Quit being a baby, baby.”

Cas’ eyes narrowed, but he rose to Dean’s baiting. He wrapped his long fingers around Dean’s hand and maneuvered the bite of apple into his mouth. Dean’s heart skipped a beat as he watched his lips move, watched his tongue flick out to catch a speck of brown sugar. Dean’s pulse jumped into his throat.

“Very good,” Cas said with the patient duty of one who was humoring him. “But it will taste much better when it’s baked.” His hand was still wrapped around Dean’s wrist, but Dean hardly noticed. All he could pay attention to was the soft pink color of Cas’ lips as he smiled gently. The dark circles under his eyes, indicating he should have gone to bed hours ago, but he didn’t. He stayed up half the night to bake Dean a pie. To do something kind. Just for him. No expectation in return, just the desire to give Dean a happy surprise on his birthday.

Dean’s eyes fell back to Cas’ lips. He knew they’d taste like cinnamon.

So Dean didn’t think. He didn’t let his doubts take hold. He didn’t allow his own self-destructive fears stop him. He just acted.

Dean leaned in and kissed Castiel.

The kiss was gentle at first, little more than a soft brush of warm lips. He felt rather than heard Cas’ stunned gasp against his mouth, and Dean kissed him again. Dean half expected Cas to push him back. To demand an explanation. To tell him he was wrong about what Cas wanted or how he felt.

He also half expected Cas to dive in head first. No plan, not knowing what he was doing, only trusting blindly, the way Cas so often did. Satisfaction rumbled in Dean's chest when Cas picked the latter.

The fork they were holding clattered to the floor as Cas threw his arms around Dean with reckless determination. Dean’s bubbling laugh interrupted their kiss, but only for a moment. He gripped Cas at his waist, using the tie strings of his apron to pull him forward until their bodies were pressed together.

Cas’ lips were cinnamon sweet, his mouth warm and inviting as Dean slipped his tongue inside with a soft sigh. Dean let his hands wander, up Cas’ back, down his thick arms, carding through his hair, and soon Cas did the same. They kissed until the kitchen timer started shrieking at them, reluctantly pulling them apart. Cas’ hair was wild, the flour almost completely brushed out of it by now. His lips were wet and kiss-bruised, their lovely pale pink now dark. Dean knew he wasn’t much better himself. The front of his pajamas were now stained with cinnamon from Cas’ apron. He was almost certain there were floury handprints on his ass.

He beamed at Cas and reached for the oven mitts. “Time for the big reveal.”

The pie was burnt at the edges, imperfect and too full, with filling bubbling out of the slits and leaving sticky syrup all over the top crust. But Dean grinned at it like it was the most beautiful pie he’d ever seen. “Hey, when’s the next state fair?” he joked as he set it on the metal counter to cool and turned the oven off.

Cas was staring at him with awe and disbelief and so, so much love. It twisted in Dean’s chest, warm and comforting and terrifying in equal measure, and for once Dean didn’t force himself to push those feelings back down. Cas loved him. Wholly, unconditionally, knowing everything that Dean had done, everything Dean had been through. He loved him through all of that, without any expectations beyond what Dean was capable of giving him.

And at forty-two, Dean was too damn old to keep pretending he didn’t love Cas the same way Cas so clearly loved him.

He stepped in close. Cas raised his hands like he wanted to reach out and touch Dean again, but he hesitated, so Dean settled his hands on Cas’ waist and waited for Cas to rest his hands on the small of his back. “Thanks,” he said quietly. He watched the light in Cas’ eyes soften into something sweet and fond. “For the pie,” he added, the giddiness in his heart making it difficult to stay quiet. He cleared his throat. “I mean, it’s great. It’s…” But Dean didn’t have the words to describe how much it all meant to him. How much Cas meant to him. So he leaned in and kissed Cas again, slow and tender. He smiled when he pulled back, and the grin on Cas’ face made it clear he understood everything Dean couldn’t say.

Dean dragged Cas back to his bedroom, where they continued to miss out on some much needed sleep. Some things were worth a little sleep deprivation. But when Dean woke up on the morning of his birthday with Cas resting his head on his chest, looking soft and peaceful and warm, he decided this was the best part of it all.

The pie didn't make it past noon. Not with Dean insisting that it was his birthday and he could eat whatever he wanted for breakfast. And brunch. And lunch.

Sam complained that he didn't save a slice for Eileen, but that was alright. When she showed up that night for pizza and games, she came bearing a tray of rice krispie treats dotted with birthday candles. She didn't even make it all the way down the stairs before Dean wrapped her in a gleeful bear hug.

#Happy Birthday Dean Winchester #destiel #deancas #my fanfic #katie writes things #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic

32 notes · View notes

apocalypseornaw · 3 years

Text

Always be Yours- 17

Word Count: 5,481

Story Summary: follows Dean and the reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: Cas calls for help on a case. Dean starts showing more effects from the mark and not just his unwillingness to be away from the first blade.

Warnings: cursing, fighting,death

Back to back hunts had never been a favorite thing for you. Yeah you liked staying busy and when things needed to be killed you were the first to pull your boots on and say let’s hit the road but dammit you’d just gotten back to the bunker not even two hours before Dean was leaning across the bed shaking you gently “Sweetheart, wake up” you flinched awake already in a protective stance before your brain caught up with your surroundings. You glared up at him “Dean I love you but why the hell aren’t you asleep? We got in like two hours ago” he shrugged “Not tired besides we got work unless you want to sit a case out?” you yawned as you were climbing out the bed and pulling your boots onto your feet “Not a chance, besides I can catch a cat nap on the way to wherever we’re headed” He shot you a wink “That’s my girl” then turned to walk out the room. You called behind him “Where are you going?” “To wake Sammy up!” he replied, never breaking stride.

You met up with Sam in the kitchen. He handed you a cup of coffee so you both went in search of Dean who had somehow gotten your gun out of your go bag without you noticing and was giving a once over to it and another bag of weapons as you and Sam walked into the library.

“Ok baby, we are bright eyed and bushy tailed. What’s up?” He glanced up from the bag in front of him “I called Cas. He said there’s something going down in Missouri” “What kind of something?” Sam asked and Dean shrugged “Said he couldn’t talk about it over the phone” “Why?” you questioned offering the cup of coffee to Dean who took a swig then handed it back “Because he is a weird guy ok? He’s a weird, dorky little guy” “With an army of angels behind him” you reminded sitting down on the table next to Sam. Dean nodded “And even though I hate to say it, if we’re gonna take a shot at Metatron, those angels might be useful”

You noticed Dean wrapping the first blade up and silently bumped Sam’s hand. He followed your line of vision and gave voice to the question in your head “Do you think we’ll need the first blade? Why don’t we just leave it here?” Dean’s eyes flicked towards you before he said “We talked about this and we decided..” you cut in before either of them could say anything else “No in all fairness there was no we..not you and Sam we..not me and you we..You decided”

Sam touched your hand gently and you let out a breath finishing the coffee and sitting the cup down harder than you should’ve when Dean reasoned “I Decided that a hockey stick that can kill anything might come in handy, so both of you sue me” “How many times have we been around this block?” Sam asked and Dean gave him a questioning look so you spoke up again “Magic that powerful comes at a price and we have no idea what that price may be”

Dean softened just slightly at the worry in your voice “I’m fine Y/N. I’m fan-friggin-tastic” “And we’re glad, honestly. I’m not saying to bury the thing, just save it until we really need it” you nodded in agreement with Sam and added “We only need it for the big boss fights. It’s not needed all the time is it?”

“Just leave it, please” Sam pleaded so Dean met your eyes as he laid the wrapped blade down on the table “No problem, see?” “Thank you” Sam told him so he nodded and held your gun out to you “Let’s get going”

------

Halfway to the scene Dean pulled over at a truck stop for all of you to change into your fed suits. When he pulled to a stop at the scene he glanced back at you “You good sweetheart?” you leaned across the seat and left a quick kiss on his cheek “I’m good”

You followed him and Sam across the parking lot to the deputy that was standing just outside the yellow police tape. She glanced up the moment she saw the three of you “Agents Spears, Aguilera and Carter? FBI?” “That’s us” you replied and she nodded “Your partner said you’d be along” then held the tape up. You thanked her and walked under first leaving the boys to follow you.

You spotted Cas the moment you stepped into the diner and he nodded. “Thank you for coming” Sam glanced around before asking “Agents Spears and Aguilera?” you bit back a smile considering you’d at least gotten the moniker of Carter. Cas shrugged “I’ve noticed your alias are usually the names of popular musicians” “You did good Cas” you assured him and he nodded back towards the scene “Come here. Take a look at this”

The body on the stretcher was clearly an angel kill. Cas explained that all the bodies were the same burnt out husks. “So this is what? A mass smiting?” you guessed and Cas shook his head “I don’t know what this was. I’ve never seen anything like it” that definitely didn’t help your feelings that you’d come across something to do with angels that was leaving Cas clueless?

He stepped away from the stretcher so the three of you followed him “Six humans died here..” he squatted down and pulled the sheet away from a body on the floor “And one angel” you leaned over to look as Sam asked if the dead angel was one of Cas’. Cas confirmed that the angel was in fact one of his. “I knew he wanted a war but this is abhorrent, even for him” you knew the he in question was Metatron but considering he’d done everything from kicking the angels out of heaven to making Gadreel into his own personal murder weapon you wouldn’t put anything past the little weasel. “Well I know with a squadron of angels three hunters may not seem like much but however we can help you, we will” you offered and he half smiled “Thank you Y/N and the three of you? That is plenty”

------

You followed behind the guys into Cas’ command center. A brunette angel smiled when she saw Cas “Commander” “Yeah still creepy” Dean muttered so you nudged his arm with a shake of your head. Cas stopped in front of her “Dean, Y/N, Sam this is Hannah” she smiled “The Winchesters, I’ve heard so much about you. You as well Y/N” “Coming from Cas, I’m guessing it was good?” you asked with a smile.

Another angel took the box of evidence from the crime scene and walked away. Before you could question where he was headed Hannah told Cas that Josiah missed roll call that morning. “Roll call?” you asked and Cas sighed “They like to hear me say their names” “Yeah can’t blame em you do have an amazing voice” you responded with a grin that earned you a sideways look from Dean. Hannah spoke again getting all of your attention back on her “No one’s seen Josiah since Ezra was murdered..we think” Sam cut her off by questioning “You think Josiah was the killer and is the mole?”

She nodded “Well, who else” she turned back to Cas to add “We searched the ground but he’s vanished” “Not without wings. He’s an angel but he’s still got to travel like a human” Dean said and Hannah crossed her arms over her chest watching Dean with an attitude that simply rubbed you wrong so you cut him off “Which means he had to walk, drive, leave some sort of a trail”

Sam was already setting his laptop up “All right, what was his vessel’s name?” “Sean Flynn from Omaha” it didn’t take long for Sam to find out someone had just used the vessel’s credit card at a gas-n-sip in Colorado” Dean smiled at Hannah “And that’s how we do things in the pros”

The angel who took the box of evidence called out “Commander?” and when Cas looked at him he motioned back to his computer screen “I have something”

------

You stood next to Cas while the angel played the clip off a cellphone. It showed the angel from Cas’ ranks saying he was doing this for Cas then sat off the equivalent of an angelic suicide bomb which resulted in the carnage all of you had seen earlier.

Dean pointed at the screen “What the hell was that?” Cas was clearly distraught “I don’t know..I didn’t..I would never ask an angel to sacrifice himself to kill innocents..I’m gonna be sick” you instinctively reached a hand out to gently rub his arm “Cas why would he do it?” you asked softly. Hannah held up a finger “Hold on..” then told the other angel to roll the tape back.

Turns out there was another angel in that shop, one of Metatron’s and that was who the angel from Cas’ rank was apparently after. “So this was some kind of hit?” Sam questioned and Cas shrugged “I don’t know” “Stop saying you don’t know” Dean fumed and that made you look at him in question “You can’t think Cas is ok with something like this” He looked from you to Cas “He tries to be a good guy. He tries. But this? This is a frickin cult” “Dean” you spoke harder than before but he shook his head “Last time you had this kind of juice Cas you did kill angels and humans and you did nothing but lie to all of us the whole damn time!”

You’d moved to stand next to Sam and was noticing the looks being passed between Hannah and the other angel. Looks, you didn’t like being pointed at Dean. You slid between him and Cas “Ok fellas, let’s take this somewhere else” they glared at each other over your head but followed you and Sam into Cas’ office.

------

You stood between them while Sam said “Dean, stow the baggage” then you spoke up “We got a damn case, let’s work it shall we?”

Dean waved as if to say go ahead so you turned to Cas “Did you know the angel in that video?” he nodded “Yes his name was Oren. He was a new recruit. He worked in community outreach” “And what does that mean?” you questioned and Cas clarified “Some of my troops are stationed at a local hospital. They help where they can. Minor miracles it’s nothing that would cause attention” now that sounded like the Cas you knew.

“So what was he doing in that video, with the stabbing?” Sam asked. “That was enochian on his chest, what did it mean?” you questioned glancing back at Cas who nodded “The runes..I think they were meant to focus energy. When he stabbed himself it unleashed all that power” so just like you thought. An angelic suicide bomb.

“So what about the girl? What happened to her?” Sam asked and Cas shrugged “If she was the target, If the blast was focused on her then more likely than not she was atomized” “Shit” you breathed before Cas asked “Well what do we do now?”

Dean shook his head “You don’t do Jack..Me, Sam and Y/N will head to the hospital. See if we can find someone who knew this walking nuke” “Hold on. These are my people. I can help” Cas argued and Dean replied “That’s sort of the problem. I mean the manson girls aren’t gonna give us straight answers with Charlie in the room. Just hang back”

“So I should just sit here?” Cas asked and Dean nodded “Pretty much” “Then I’ll follow Josiah’s trail to Colorado” Cas reasoned and Dean nodded “Fine then Sam’s going with you” “Because you don’t trust me?” Cas questioned and Dean shook his head “To help. Now do I need to send Y/N too?”

You scoffed “I think they can handle it. They’re a grown hunter and angel. Now if you want me gone I can make myself scarce” “Don’t be like that. I’m just trying to handle all this” Dean replied so you shook your head “Fine Sam and Cas head to Colorado. Me and you will hit the hospital but none of us are doing shit sitting around here” you cut your eyes down at Dean’s right arm where you knew that mark was before turning to walk out not saying a word to either three of the men.

------

“What was that about?” Dean asked once he joined you in baby. You shrugged not even looking in his direction when he pulled out onto the road “Oh you mean the part where you apparently think you’re the only person who’s capable of doing this damn job anymore?”

“Wait,what?” he seemed genuinely confused so you let out a harsh breath “After you killed Abaddon I heard what you told Sam about keeping me out of her crosshairs and about not wanting the blade far away from you. I get that you’re juiced up from the mark and the blade, I get you want to protect me and christ I love you for that but Dean I’m a hunter too. Sam’s a hunter and Cas is a frickin angel we’re all capable. I just need to know if you’re capable of towing the line when it’s needed because when you got into it with Cas back there those angels didn’t like it and I really don’t want to be in a position where they decide you’re a threat because I’m going to fight at your side whether you like it or not, so is Sam” he nodded and reached for your hand so you met him halfway lacing your fingers together “Sure you’re not just sick of me?” he asked and although his tone was joking you could sense something else just under the surface so you squeezed his hand gently “Takes a lot more to get rid of me Winchester, now let’s get the doc Cas pointed us in the direction of and see what she knows”

------

The plan was for you to hang out front with Hannah and the other angels. Simply put, you were more diplomatic than Dean besides you didn’t really want to interrogate an angel again considering Ezra had been such a bust. Instead you chose to wander the halls between the main area of the control center. You told yourself it was just a precaution in case Metatron may have yet another mole, not to keep an eye on Dean.

You heard the sound of what was clearly the table flipping and ran to the door of the interrogation room ripping it open to show Dean had the angel “Flagstaff” flat on her back with an angel blade to her throat. You ran over and grabbed his arm to stop him from doing anything that would cost all of you as she begged “Please, dont” he cut his eyes at you so you asked her “Oren, friends?” “Constantine and Tessa” “Tessa, the reaper?” Dean questioned obviously having recognized the name. You vaguely remembered her then it struck you that she’d been there when Dean struck the deal with Death for Sam’s soul.

“You know her?” Flagstaff asked as you pulled Dean backwards then helped her to her feet “We’ve met her a time or two” her eyes never left yours as she said “Thank you” you didn’t try to lie so you simply said “I didn’t stop him for you” “But you stopped him” she replied then quickly scurried out. You turned to look at Dean who was standing a step or two away from you “So now you’re literally my humanity and plan to pop up wherever you think my judgement is failing?” you shook your head before saying “Dean, I love you. I’d do anything for you and Sam but the moment you decide you don’t want me here just let me know because I refuse to see you make a decision that will end up with you dead. I’ve lost too much already” you started to walk out but he grabbed your arm before you could “Thank you Y/N” “For what?” you asked with a sigh.

He motioned to the chair that was still on the floor “For reminding me to pull back when needed” you nodded then walked out the room with plans to try to track Tessa down.

------

Flagstaff pointed you towards the hospital in search of Tessa. When you and Dean got there she was missing and so was an ambulance. You hacked the GPS and used it to track her to a meeting hall.

Luckily Dean managed to restrain her with the enochian cuffs before she could pull off her planned hit so the two of you took her back to Cas’ command center to interrogate her unfortunately Constantine had already pulled off his hit.

You walked in beside Dean who was guiding Tessa and felt your stomach knot in worry at seeing Flagstaff talking to Hannah and the other angel who wasn’t the biggest fan of Dean’s. “Tessa? What are you two doing?” Hannah asked, clearly pointing the question at you. “Well Tessa you want to tell her or should I?” when she didn’t reply you pulled the collar of her shirt down far enough Hannah could see the carvings on her.

“Oh god” Hannah breathed to which Tessa replied “There’s no god. There’s only Castiel” “And you’ve lost your public speaking privileges” you said then nodded at Dean to take her to the interrogation room.

------

Hannah, Flagstaff and the other angel followed you and Dean. “He wounded her” Hannah accused so after Dean had pushed Tessa into the interrogation room you spun around to face the brunette angel “He defused her, ya know so she couldn’t be an angelic bomb?” “And now? What will he do to her?” the male angel asked you. “Get answers” you replied and Flagstaff scoffed “You uphold him torturing her?” Dean stood at your back stoic despite the fact that all of you were talking about him as if he wasn’t even standing there “We need to know if there’s other bombers out there. Aren’t all angels your siblings? If we can get answers out of one to stop multiple deaths isn’t that worth it?”

She shook her head “And to think I considered you different” “That was your mistake sugar not mine” you told her but Hannah spoke up “I won’t allow it. I know what Tessa was planning. It's horrible but there’s only one person who can punish her” Dean rolled his eyes “Let me guess, Yea big, trench coat, sensible shoes?”

“Both of you need to understand Castiel is the only thing holding us together. A month ago, half the angels in this place were trying to kill the other half. Castiel has given us a purpose but more than that he’s given us a way to live in peace. We have rules, order” you clocked angels walking up behind you and Dean and angels walking up behind Hannah as she spoke. “If I let you take matters into your own hands, What’s to stop one of us from doing the same? He can talk to her, he should talk to her but he leaves the blade outside and you stay with my people Y/N as a sort of collateral”

“You asking or telling?” Dean questioned. The male angel spoke up “We’re not asking” You saw Dean’s jaw clench slightly so you eased the angel blade out of his hand then held it out to Hannah “Here’s the blade and I’ll stay” she smiled “Thank you Y/N” you cut your eyes at Flagstaff before repeating the words you’d said to her earlier “I didn’t do it for you”

------

You were sitting in Cas’ office when Flagstaff came in and drug you to your feet with an angel blade to your throat. “What the hell? Put me down you winged bitch” you struggled against her but two more angels were backing her up “Seems your Winchester isn’t as fond of your life as you thought” “What?” you asked and the blonde angel who’d walked in explained “He killed Tessa”

“DEAN!” you screamed as they drug you out into the main area and heard him scream your name followed by the sounds of a fight. A blonde angel backhanded you and you went down hard. You glared up at her but when Flagstaff said “Calm him and we won’t kill either of you until the commander decides” the fight left out of you. You couldn’t risk them killing Dean or him fighting even harder because he heard you.

------

You were nearly carried into the hall and dropped at Dean’s feet. He was being tied to a chair and you could see the rage in his eyes when he saw your split lip and swollen jaw. They’d taped his mouth but you could see the question in his eyes. You nodded weakly “I’m fine” and sat down slowly on the floor next to him as the angels finished tying him up then looked at you. Hannah shook her head “Leave her”

Once you were alone you glanced up at Dean “Did you kill Tessa?” he shook his head so you nodded again then laid your head over on his leg. Neither of you could do anything until Cas got there. Not even Dean could fight over two dozen angels and walk out the winner.

------

You weren’t sure how long passed until the door opened again. It was Hannah followed by Cas. “They put up a fight” she explained when Cas saw the both of you. “Get out” Cas fumed.

Sam was already to yours and Dean’s side. He looked down at you as he took the tape off Dean’s mouth “Y/N are you ok?” you nodded “Jaw’s gonna be sore but I’ve had a lot worse” you climbed to your feet to stand next to Sam as he untied Dean.

“Should’ve seen the other guys” Dean joked. “They said you killed Tessa?” Cas questioned and you were curious as well to just what had happened considering you hadn’t actually spoken to Dean. He looked at you when he answered Cas “She knifed herself” “Yeah? Why would she do that Dean?” Sam asked and given what you’d been dealing with from the effects of the mark, you couldn’t blame Sam’s skepticism but you spoke up to say “Sam they had me. Dean knew if he killed her, they had me in a room alone with half a dozen angels and no weapon”

“He had the first blade Y/N” Sam said and you felt your heart fall to your feet. “What?” you asked softly. Dean didn’t meet your eyes as he spoke to Sam “They told ya about that huh?” “We had a deal!” Sam reminded him but Dean scoffed “It was a stupid deal” “One that if you would’ve stuck to it Tessa would still be alive. Without her we ain’t go jack. Not to mention what if Hannah would’ve decided not to wait for Cas and took out you killing one of theirs on Y/N! Ever think about that?” Sam was angry you could feel it rolling off of him and for once you had no intention of stepping between the brothers.

You knew something had been off but you’d told yourself Dean had hidden another angel blade or the demon knife but no he’d smuggled the first blade not stopping to think of the consequences.

“You think I don’t know all of that? You think I wanted to lose our lead? Do you really think I wanted Y/N in any sort of danger?” Dean threw back but Sam retorted “I don’t know Dean did you?” “Stop it! Both of you” Cas warned and you purposely stepped closer to him.

The door opened to show Hannah. She looked around then said “Commander, I’m sorry but you have a call..from Metatron”

------

You walked closer to Sam than Dean as the three of you followed Cas into the main control room. Metatron’s face was on the screen “Castiel! I bet you’re not happy to see me” “Is anyone ever you little weasel?” you snapped at him without thinking. “Y/N! I see Dean’s b-grade eighties action movie wit is rubbing off on you”

You glanced at Dean before Sam asked “What do you want Metatron?” He smiled at all of you from the screen “Just to tell Ass-tiel. There that I’m still alive. His bomber failed” “My bomber?” Cas asked and Metatron nodded “The crazy guy. Big knife? Kablooey? I’m fine thanks for asking but Gadreel is wounded and Tyrus.. Well R.I.P. His followers are not your biggest fans by the way. They’ve all come over to my team”

“I didn’t send anyone to kill you” Cas insisted and you knew him well enough to know he was telling the truth but Metatron scrunched “Oh, stop lying Castiel” “Who are you to lecture me on lying? Your deception led to the fall” Cas retorted. “I did what I had to do” Metatron reasoned leaning up to add “I have always done what I have to do, for god and the angels”

“Sure, you’re mother Teresa with neck beard” Dean replied but Metatron was undeterred “What I did was neither good nor bad. It was necessary a small hardship to make us all stronger, to make us a family again.” “Except for the angels you had Gadreel kill?” Sam asked and Metatron rolled his eyes slightly “Ok, yes. Maybe I got a little carried away at first, but those days are over. A near death experience makes you re-evaluate. So one time only, I’m offering amnesty. Every angel, no matter their sin, may join me and return to heaven. I will be their god and they can be my heavenly host”

“Why would we follow you?” Hannah asked. Metatron started to laugh “Look around. You’ve seen earth. You’ve had a taste of free will. I got to ask you, do you like it? And the way you’ve flocked off to follow Castiel tells me you need to follow someone. It’s in your dna” you slowly looked around at the other angels and it horrified you to see Metatron’s words were having the desired effect on them.

“But Cas, he’s not what you think he is” he continued “He sends out angels to die. Have you told them about your stolen grace, Castiel? How it’s fading away and when it burns out so will you?” When no one gave any response he nodded “So, no then. I’m not the best but I’m the best you’ve got. You want to stay with Castiel, fine, but he’s playing you because at the end of the day the only thing he cares about is himself and the Hardy boys and Nancy drew there. You’ve got a choice to make. Make the right one” he ended the video call and you could hear a slight murmur go through the crowd of angels who were staring at you, Sam and Dean.

“He’s lying” Cas spoke and Hannah was the first to ask “About the grace?” Cas cut his eyes at her “It’s complicated” “So he wasn’t lying” Flagstaff questioned. “He was about everything else. He..” Cas trailed off when he realized every angel’s eyes were on him. “You believe me, don’t you?”

Hannah stepped closer to him “I want to believe you but I..” she looked back at the crowd then corrected her words to say “We need proof” “Name it” Cas replied. She glanced at Dean “Punish him. He murdered Tessa. He broke our rules” “Y’all can all go to hell” you snarled stepping over next to Dean before Flagstaff added “She was collateral so she should die as well”

“Wait a second” Sam tried but five angels had already grabbed Dean and three had grabbed you. Hannah looked at Cas “You gave us order and we gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over two humans” She held the angel blade out to him. “This is justice” You watched in horror as Cas took the blade from her hand. “Cas” his name was barely a whisper from your lips as he looked from you to Dean.

“No. I can’t” you felt a tension run through the angels before Hannah said “Goodbye, Castiel” the angels released all of you and followed her out. You stepped closer to Sam as all of you watched them leave.

------

You sat silently next to Cas in the backseat of the impala. No one spoke a single word on the drive back to the bunker.

You let everyone go before you down the stairs then slowly followed them. You heard Sam ask “Dean, are we gonna talk about this or what?” “About what?” Dean asked throwing his bag down on the table in the map room before turning to face Sam “Yeah I lied but you were being an infant” you raised an eyebrow “Wow” then followed Cas into the library. You heard Sam say “No Y/N’s right even for you that apology sucked”

You sat your bag down on the table then walked back into the map room about the time Dean said “That blade’s the only thing that can kill Metatron and I am the only one who can use it. So from here on out, I’m calling the shots. Capisce?” Neither of them had noticed you so you remained silent through Dean saying “Look, until I jam that blade through that douchebag’s heart, we are not a team. This is a dictatorship. Now you don’t have to like it but that’s how it’s gonna be” “Nice to know” you finally spoke and they both looked surprised to see you standing there. You shook your head then grabbed your bag from the library and headed down the hall.

You threw the bag into the room you used to sleep in before you and Dean started sharing one room then sat heavily on the bed. Why were you even staying? Hell at this point did he even want you here anymore? From the looks of it you were simply becoming more and more of a liability to him.

------

You stood to head back to the library with plans of simply thanking Cas but froze when you spotted Gadreel. “GUYS!” Sam was the first behind you then you heard Dean and Cas come running up. “I’m not here to fight” Gadreel promised with both hands up to show he was unarmed.

You stepped back closer to Sam as Gadreel took a few steps towards Dean and Cas “I thought about what you said. You’re right Metatron..he’s..something needs to be done” you wanted to believe he was in earnest, you truly did. “And we should trust you why?” you asked glancing back at Sam. “Because I can give him to you. Y/N I know where Metatron is.I know everything. I know the bombers. They were his agents not yours Castiel” he glanced around at the four of you before saying “You don’t trust me, fine. I understand. I’ve made mistakes but haven’t all of you. At least give me a chance”

Dean cut his eyes at you then Sam. You gave a slight nod, so did Sam. Dean walked over to Gadreel and held his left hand out seemingly to shake. You knew something was wrong the moment Dean offered his left hand “DEAN NO” you screamed but in the blink of an eye Dean had already slashed Gadreel’s chest open with the first blade.

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278 @brilovesdeanwinchester

#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader #always be yours

43 notes · View notes

shirtlesssammy · 3 years

Text

1x02: Wendigo

Then:

No Chick Flick Moments

Now:

In Blackwater Ridge, Colorado, three dudes enjoy the wilderness by gaming inside their tent. Something stalks their campsite from the shadows but the unattended fire that’s dangerously close to their flammable homes must be keeping it at bay, right? Erm, well, one dude heads out to the little boy’s room (a nearby tree) and gets snatched.

Another one pops his head out the tent door and gets snatched as well. The third dude kills his light and watches the shadow of a very fast creature circle his tent until it slashes the side and snatches him as well.

Palo Alto, California

Sam’s visiting Jessica’s grave. It really didn’t affect me the first time I watched this. It’s devastating to watch now though. Knowing Sam now --knowing how he doesn’t let people in, knowing how he didn’t even really let Jess in but loved her and wanted this world he could never have with her. Knowing that it’s fifteen years later and he’s had no one to really be with (Amelia was a construct of his damaged brain when forced to face the supernatural without Dean or Cas. I will not be taking questions at this time.) (But I guess he gets a blurry wife so ALLS GOOD FOR SAMMY.) He tells Jessica, “I should have protected you. I should have told you the truth.” Gah. Nothing could have saved her, and he has to go another fifteen years before he realizes this for good.

Psych! He was actually dreaming, but I hold firm with my thoughts on the dream scene.

Dean asks if Sam is okay.

Sam says yes and clears his throat. Classic! Then Dean asks if Sam wants to drive for a while. GAH. Like, Dean’s looking out for his little bro in the only way he knows right now --letting him drive.

They discuss leaving Palo Alto, and Dean points out that if they’re going to find the thing that killed Jess, they have to find their dad. He’s sending them to Colorado. Specifically to a National Forest in Lost Creek, Colorado.

They get to the warden’s station and introduce themselves as Environmental Study majors from UC-Boulder. “Recycle, man.” Bbys. The ranger sees right through their bullshit though. He asks if they’re friends with “that Hailey girl.” Dean sees his chance to learn more and leans into it. Hayley apparently has a brother that’s on Blackwater Ridge. He isn’t technically missing but she knows something is up.

Dean gets the brother’s camping permit. And now I need to process the next couple of lines. Sam asks if Dean wants a hook up with Hailey. Like, fuck you Sam for not knowing your brother at all, but also I guess you’re forgiven because your brother does do everything in his power to project that kind of energy. However, Dean is working the case and wants to know what they’re dealing with on this mountain.

Dean and Sam head over to Hailey’s to ask her about her brother, Tommy. They say they’re rangers.

Hailey gets on Dean’s good side by complementing his car. Hailey tells the brothers that she feels something is wrong because Tommy checks in every day via his cell and satellite phone. Hailey’s heading out first thing in the morning to try and find him.

Later at a bar, Sam “NERD” Winchester pulls out his extensive research on the area. People disappear on the ridge every 23 years. There was one survivor in 1959. They go to interview him. He tries to stick to the grizzly bear story, but eventually admits that they won’t believe him since no one else ever did. He said it moved fast and came into their cabin. It took his parents and left him with a horrible scar.

The next morning, Sam and Dean meet up with Hayley, her brother Ben, and the guide, Roy. The guide is skeptical but Dean just wants to help find her brother.

Cut to Tommy tied up in a cave. He wakes just in time to watch one of his friends get chomped to pieces by the monster.

Dean and Roy try to out alpha each other. Roy finds a bear trap and saves Dean from a nasty injury. I’m over here wondering wtf that’s doing in the middle of a national forest.

Hayley calls Dean out on their lack of provisions and wants to know who they are. He comes clean and tells her that they’re brothers looking for their father. But also, uh, Dean wearing jeans and boots is way more practical than SHORTS when hiking. Who wants to fuck around with ticks and poison ivy? All these years we thought Dean was just posturing about shorts when he was actually being a practical son of a bitch.

They reach the ridge and hear absolutely nothing. Roy decides he’s going to wander off alone. Solid choice, dude. The rest stick together. Soon they hear Roy call for Hailey. They run to him. They find her brother’s destroyed campsite. They find tracks of where the bodies were dragged and Tommy’s destroyed phone.

They explore the campsite, which is torn to absolute bits. Dean tracks the struggle to just outside of the campsite, where the trail quickly grows cold. Everyone gets lured further into the woods by desperate cries for help but it gets them nowhere. When they return to the destroyed camp, Sam pulls out their dad’s journal and they use it to pinpoint the monster: it’s a wendigo.

They hunker down for the night at the camp, and Dean protects them with Anasazi symbols drawn in the dirt. Soooooooooo in one breath you’re telling me that wendigo are found around the upper midwest / Canada, and in the next you’re telling me that the Anasazi (Southwestern/Western US) created widely-established protections against the wendigo? STARES DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA. The timelines! The geographic areas! Sigh...Supernatural ain’t ever had that good of a track record.

Dean tries to unpack Sam’s gourd. Sam doesn’t want to waste time hunting a wendigo when he can find their dad and hunt for what killed Jess instead. Dean holds out John Winchester’s journal like it’s a friggin’ (gags a little) bible and delivers the now-iconic line: “I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business.”

Sam wants to know why John doesn’t just call his boys and give them an update - “It makes no sense.” OMG RIGHT, SAM? #JohnWinchester’sA+Parenting

Dean tells Sam that helping other people and other families is what helps him make it through each day. We cry in Dean’s face a little, even when he immediately attempts to mask his empathy in his very next (also iconic) line: “Let me tell you what else helps. Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can.”

Pleas for help start to echo through the woods again. Roy fires indiscriminately into the trees and races after his prey, sight unseen. Hands grab him by the head and haul him up into the trees. Everyone else makes it through the night safely and Roy’s demise reminds us that toxic masculinity KILLS.

The next morning, Sam’s moodily staring at their dad’s journal while Dean chats with Haley about the hunt.

For LOOK AT THIS BEAN Science:

We get info-dumped a truly mixed bag of lore, attributing wendigo tales to the Cree people (right region, at least!) and saying that wendigo are created by cannibalistic acts gone into overdrive. The implication here is that cannibalism equals power but alas, it also turns one into a monster. Wendigo like to squirrel away humans like nuts, so Haley’s brother might be alive and trapped for later snacking. And they can kill it! Kill it with fire.

Cut to Dean striding through the woods with a molotov cocktail in hand. THAT’S MY BOY. They follow an easy trail of bloody claw marks along the trees. Too late, Sam realizes it was TOO EASY. Roy’s body drops from the canopy and the group splinters as they flee. Dean and Haley get nabbed, leaving Sam and Ben to find their missing siblings. Ben finally gets some lines, alerting Sam to Dean’s breadcrumb trail of peanut M&Ms.

They head into a defunct mine. (Speak friend and enter?) Growls echo through the darkened tunnels, but Sam and Ben discover the body storage by accident when they fall through floor boards into a lower level. They discover Haley and Dean trussed up and free them. Tommy’s there too! And still alive!

Dean finds some flare guns and they make their way out of the tunnels. Dean tries to lure the wendigo away from the siblings and Sam. All his attempts are for naught, because the wendigo tries to attack Sam, and the three siblings. It’s okay, though! Dean fires a flare gun right into its gut and it burns into embers.

Later at the ranger’s station, they spin tales to the cops about a grizzly.

Haley thanks Dean with a gentle kiss, and Dean watches the siblings leave with a fond and wistful expression. JENSEN ACKLES YOUR FACE IS A MENACE!

The Winchesters hit the road, Sam behind the wheel of the Impala. Time to hunt some evil sons of bitches and play some classic rock!

Oh sweetheart, I don’t do quotes:

Recycle, man

Nobody likes a skeptic

I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business

Man, I hate camping

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 1x02 #wendigo #supernatural season 1

38 notes · View notes

sourwolf-sterek32 · 3 years

Text

Welcome to the End

Summary: Y/N Winchester was a hunter like her brothers, following in their fathers footsteps. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Winchester!Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Language, mentions of a panic attack (not in much description)

Chapter 12-

"Hey, Jesus." You shouted from across Hilltop.

You watched as the man turned around from where he was helping load supplies for your group into the back of the RV.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Everything's fine. More than fine actually. But, I wanted to ask you something... you're outside these walls a lot right?"

You could see the confusion flickering over his face as he tried to figure out why you were asking such a random question, but he nodded in response.

"I think I spend more time out there than in here if I'm being honest. Why?" He asked curiously.

You didn't say anything for a moment as you glanced over your shoulder and smiled softly watching as Daryl helped Carl with one of the heavier crates of food.

"This is a long shot... but... have you ever come across a black '67 Chevy Impala on the road? It's an old vintage car... two men would be with it-"

"Sam and Dean?" He asked and you froze, your eyes widening in shock.

Jesus had met your brothers? That meant they were alive... your brothers weren't dead.

"Yes! Where did you meet them? How long ago?" You quickly questioned, unable to keep your emotions in check as tears started to rise in your eyes.

"It was about six months ago. I bumped into them on the road, about five miles from here. I didn't talk to them long though, but they didn't say much either. They just told me they were looking for their sister... wait. You're the sister they were looking for, aren't you?" He asked, although by the look on his face he already knew the answer as you nodded.

"They're alive." You whispered, unable to stop the silent tear from trickling down your cheek.

All this time you thought your brothers were most likely dead, but they weren't. They were still alive and they were looking for you.

"Hey, angel. Ya ready to go?" Daryl's voice called out.

You glanced over your shoulder to find him walking towards you and you could pinpoint the exact moment Daryl saw your teary eyes. He suddenly stopped where he was for a moment, his body tensing before he quickly jogged the remaining distance to you.

"What happened? Ya okay?" He asked worriedly, his hands grabbing your shoulders as he stared at you before he glanced over your shoulder towards Jesus and his eyes narrowed.

"The hell did ya-" Daryl started to question angrily before you cut him off.

"No. he didn't do anything wrong." You quickly said, jumping to Jesus' defence who had raised his hands slightly to show that he wasn't a threat.

"He met my brothers. Sam and Dean are alive." You explained causing Daryl to freeze as he quickly looked back down at you. "He met them six months ago... they survived the herd."

"Holy shit." Daryl whispered in disbelief before you turned back to Jesus.

"Did they say where they were going next or give you an indication or something?"

"No. Like I said, they didn't say much to me. But, they spoke about going back to some bunker, if that means anything?" Jesus explained hesitantly, clearly having no idea what your brothers had been talking about.

The bunker? Why the hell did you not think of that? Of course they'd go back to the bunker!

"They went home... I have to go find them." You stated, glancing over at Daryl who's mouth opened, but quickly closed again as he seemed to rethink what he was about to say before Rick walked over to the group of you.

"What's going on?" He asked, frowning slightly at the tears in your eyes.

"Sam and Dean are alive. Jesus bumped into them a few months ago and said they were going back to the bunker."

Rick seemed to be in shock as his jaw dropped. It may have been a few years since Rick had last seen your brothers, but they were good friends.

"When are ya leavin'?" Daryl asked, breaking the silence as he looked over at you with an unreadable expression.

"If I can borrow a car, then right now." You responded, but you didn't like the way Daryl frowned slightly as he looked down at the ground. "You don't think I should?"

"Didn't say that."

"Then what you trying to say?"

"Ya ain't goin' alone. It's over a thousand miles away... travellin' that far... it ain't safe." He muttered, lifting his head slightly to look at you, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

"And? Nothing is safe these days and I am going alone. I'm not risking the lives of other people, especially not yours. Plus, Rick needs you here. We may have ended the Saviours, but there's always another threat around the corner." You stated, but Daryl shook his head.

"Ya ain't going alone. What if something goes wrong?"

"I can handle myself, Daryl. You of all people should know that." You responded, anger starting to rise in your voice as you stared at your boyfriend.

You understood why he was worried, any normal person would be worried. But, this wasn't his call. You could take care of yourself and didn't need a baby sitter with you.

"What if ya brothers ain't there? What if ya go all that way for nothing 'n somethin' goes wrong?" He questioned and you just chuckled in disbelief.

"You're kidding me, right? This is Sam and Dean we're talking about! I'm not arguing about this with you and I am going to the bunker."

"No."

"Well, bad luck because you don't get a say in this." You snapped, glaring at him before you glanced over at Rick.

Rick didn't say anything as he raised his hands in a slight surrender, not wanting to get in the middle of this.

"Jesus, do you have a spare car I could borrow?"

You watched as Jesus glanced between you and Daryl for a moment before he hesitantly nodded.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll have one ready." He answered before jogging off towards Barrington House.

"Y/N-" Daryl started to say before you cut him off.

"Don't." You warned, turning back towards him. "If there's even a slight chance that I could find my brothers, I'm taking it."

Daryl didn't say anything as he glared at you, clearly wanting to argue more. But, to your shock he just shook his head and walked off without a word, without even a simple goodbye.

"He just cares about you. He doesn't want you to get hurt." Rick said, trying to make the situation better.

You knew Daryl's heart was in the right place, but you could take care of yourself. You might not have your powers, but you were a damn good hunter before your powers and you didn't need them. You could fight and take care of yourself just fine without them.

"I know." You sighed, running your fingers through your hair before the sound of a car engine filled the air.

You turned around just in time to find Jesus pulling up behind you in some small red hatchback. Well, that was quick.

"Full tank, plus two fuel cans and a backpack of supplies. You're all set." Jesus announced, climbing out the car as you stared at him in shock, not expecting all of that.

"Wow, thank you." You responded causing Jesus to smile before you turned back to Rick, but he wasn't there.

You frowned before scanning the area and realised he was talking to the others and a moment later everyone was walking towards you.

Oh, Rick must have told them.

You hugged and said your goodbyes to all your friends. They all wished you the best, hoping that you could get your brothers and bring them back to Alexandria.

"Take care of yourself out there, okay? Bring your brothers home." Rick said, holding his arms out and you nodded before hugging him.

"I will."

You pulled away and glanced around Hilltop trying to find Daryl, but he was nowhere to be seen and you sighed.

"I'll talk to him. he just wants what's best for you, Y/N. He loves you." Rick said as if he could read your thoughts.

You nodded, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Daryl wasn't even going to say goodbye.

You drove for eight hours before the old hatchback decided that it had enough and you came to a stuttering stop in the middle of the road.

You turned the key in the ignition hoping that it might just magically start working, but it did absolutely nothing.

"Typical." You muttered to yourself.

You glanced out the window of the car, the moonlight giving you enough vision to see the woods along the side of the road. Scanning the roads for a moment, you made sure there were no walkers around before you got out the car.

You stretched as you stood beside the car, looking up at the stars before you grabbed the backpack of rations Jesus had packed and threw it over your shoulders.

Without further thought, you continued the rest of the journey on foot.

You couldn't stop thinking about Daryl though, hating how the two of you left things... well, how he left things.

He was the one that got angry and stormed off without even saying goodbye, not you.

He never had an issue with you going off by yourself on hunts before all of this, although there wasn't anything he could do about it even if he wanted to. But, why was he was he so worked up about this?

Actually, come to think of it, he had bene a lot more protective over you since you found each other again in this new world. You hadn't really taken much notice and just figured it was because you hadn't seen each other since before, but now that you were actually thinking about, it could be because of your powers.

He had only ever known you with your powers.

He never met you before you learnt about your powers or your angelic side, but now you didn't have them... well, you did, but they were a mess and he knew it.

He probably thought you were weak and couldn't take care of yourself now. He probably thought you weren't anything without your powers, but boy was he wrong.

You were going to get your brothers and get them to Alexandria and prove him wrong.

You weren't sure how long you and been walking for, but the sun was now high in the sky and you could finally see the bunker in the distance.

You had come across a fair amount of walkers on your journey, but nothing your angel blade couldn't handle.

Without even realising it, you had jogged the remaining distance until you were standing in front of the garage breathing heavily after the small sprint.

You went to grab the spare key for the padlock before you realised that it was gone, so you just ripped the padlock off the latch with ease. Relieved that although most of your powers were screwed up, you still had your strength.

You tossed the now broken lock off to the side and grabbed the bottom of the roller door before lifting it up.

"Holy shit." You gasped once you had opened it fully.

The Impala was parked in the middle of the garage.

They were here. Your brothers had made it back to the bunker.

You stared at the Impala for a moment, running your fingers down the side of it before you jogged over to the door that lead into the main part of the bunker.

Everything was dark inside, so you pulled out a flashlight from the backpack Jesus gave you as you scanned the main room in confusion. It was completely empty.

"Sam? Dean?" You shouted as you slowly walked down the stairs. "Anyone?"

You wandered over to the main table, running your fingers over the top to find it covered in a thick layer of dust. Sam wouldn't let the bunker get this dirty, not even in the apocalypse.

"Boys?!" You yelled, running down the hallway.

You kicked open their bedroom doors, but they were nowhere to be seen.

No. They had to be here. The Impala was here... they had be to here.

You checked the kitchen, the library, the dungeon, even Cas and Jacks room, but it was completely empty. They weren't here and by the looks of it, they hadn't been here for quite some time.

"No." You whispered to yourself as you shook your head in denial.

They had to be here... Dean would never leave the Impala behind and that meant only one thing, but you refused to believe it. Your brothers couldn't be dead.

Slowly, you walked back into the main room of the bunker, collapsing into one of the chairs and breaking down, unable to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks.

They were gone. You thought they were dead before and then Jesus had given you hope... but, they were still gone and this time you know there was no coming back. Your brothers were gone.

:"Fuck you, Chuck!" You screamed, slamming your fist down against the table as you cried.

Your breaths came out short and fast and you knew you were on the brink of a panic attack, but you didn't care. Your brothers were gone. Nothing else fucking mattered.

The next few minutes went by in haze. You weren't entirely sure what happened, but when you snapped out of it you found yourself sitting on the floor amongst the now broken furniture, taking note of the holes on the walls beside you.

You glanced down at your hands to find your knuckles covered in blood and you quickly realised what had happened. You destroyed the bunker, but it didn't matter. The bunker wasn't anything without your brothers.

They were gone.

After what felt like a lifetime you finally managed to get yourself moving. You loaded the Impala with as many weapons and supplies you could.

It was now dark outside again and you realised that you much had spent more time in the bunker than you realised.

Once you were satisfied that you had everything, you climbed into the front seat and just sat there, staring at the steering wheel.

Dean had only ever let you drive the Impala once.

It was after dad died. You and the boys went on a simple case to some small town, but you weren't able to save a mans life. The man was a father to two boys and a little girl and it hit too close to home, too soon.

You still remembered that case like it was yesterday. You told your brothers that you were fine, but they knew you weren't. They knew that you were thinking of dad and after the case Dean threw you the keys to the Impala without a word and the three of your drove back to Bobby's.

You glanced at the revision mirror staring at the empty back seat where Cas and Jack and you could feel tears starting to rise in your eyes again.

"Stop being such a wimp. The boys wouldn't want you to be like this." You said to yourself before taking a deep breath and turning the key in the ignition bringing the old girl to life.

You smiled softly listening to her purr before shifting the gear into reverse and turning the headlights on.

There was a lone walker stumbling down the road further as you reversed out the driveway before climbing out and closing the bunker door.

You weren't sure why you closed it. But you didn't want anyone to go inside, it was your families and you didn't want anyone dead or alive to go in there.

You climbed back into the Impala and took off down the road, driving around the walker, not wanting to damage or dirty the car because you knew Dean would hate that.

By the time you reached Alexandria the sun was slowly rising in the sky behind you as you waved at Abraham who was on the watch platform.

it took the man a moment before he realised it was you and he gave you a giant wave before motioning at whoever was on the ground by the gate to open it for you.

You pulled the Impala over as soon as you drove through the gate. Putting the car in park, you just sat there staring at the steering wheel again.

You had failed.

You should have gone to the bunker sooner, why didn't you even think of that? All you did was try and kill yourself before Daryl showed up and you stopped looking for them. You should have kept looking.

Your brothers were gone. They were dead because of you. Hell, if you still had your powers you could have killed that whole herd of walkers and you would still be with them and Cas would still be alive too, but you didn't. You failed them.

You could feel tears starting to rise in your eyes again, but you forced them away.

You had cried enough over the past two days, you weren't going to cry here where everyone could see you.

Taking a deep shaky breath, you forced yourself to get out the car, but the second you stepped out you heard the familiar roar of Daryl's motorcycle.

You stood beside the Impala as Daryl rode past. He glanced over at you with an almost pissed off expression which quickly softened when he looked inside the car and realised that your brothers weren't with you. But, Daryl didn't stop or try and talk to you.

Instead he pulled up in front of the gate, dismounting the bike before pulling open the gate. He shouted something about 'going out' but he didn't bother explaining anything further.

"Daryl!" You shouted, which seemed to catch his attention as he stopped right beside the bike about to climb back on as his eyes locked with yours.

"Ya brothers?" He asked, but you just shook your head. "Told ya not to go." He responded harshly before he climbed back on the motorcycle, revving the engine and taking off through the gate.

You stood there for a moment trying to process what Daryl had just said.

What the fuck was his problem? You just found out that your brothers were dead and that was how he responded? What the hell? And where the hell was going in such a hurry?

MASTERLIST

Next Chapter

-Gifs used are not mine. Credit to rightful owners.

A/N-

I don't even have a good excuse for this late update, sorry guys. Life has just been so hectic at the moment and I am so fucking sick of work, I wish I could just quit and move into a cabin in the woods for the rest of my life... a girl can only dream.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who are still reading this fic, I know crossovers aren't everyones favourite, but it means so much to me that you are still here and thank you to everyone who comments, you guys make me so happy when I read them :)

The next chapter should be up on the weekend, I promise! But, in the mean time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx

#Daryl Dixon #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #Destiel #supernatural #SPN

113 notes · View notes

mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 4 years

Text

Tell Him I Love Him

Word Count: 1,559

Characters:Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, some random demon, Reader, Jack (mentioned), Castiel (mentioned), Lucifer (brief)

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Platonic!Reader; Dean Winchester x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: uhm, hi

Masterlist

You groaned, fluttering your eyes open. You pushed your head up, looking around. You were tied to some chair, and you were in a room, with shelves of books.

You didn't remember what happened, you remember someone broke into your house.

“Oh, good, she’s awake,” you heard a voice say.

You looked around, trying to find the body which the voice belonged to.

“W-Who are you?” you asked.

Two men walked to you, coming out of the shadows.

You immediately tensed up.

“Where’s Abaddon?” Sam asked.

“W-Who’s Abaddon? Whoever you are, please, I’ll give you whatever you want. Just don’t hurt me,” you said shakily.

“Cut the crap. Where’s Abaddon? We know you serve here,” Dean said.

“I don't know who Abaddon is. Please, just let me go,” you said.

Your heart was racing, you were scared.

“We're not playing! Tell us where she is!” Dean yelled at you, grabbing your chair harshly.

“I-I don't know,” you cried.

He looked back to Sam, as he handed him a pitcher filled with water.

“W-What is that?” you asked nervously, trying to back away from him.

“Oh, you know what it is,” Dean replied, rolling his eyes.

“P-Please! I-I don't! Please, don't hurt me! M-My family will come looking for me, they’ll pay whatever you want if they’re alive! Just please don't throw that acid on me!” you cried, begging them.

Before he poured it on you, Sam stopped him, whispering something to him.

Dean dumped it on you, as you jumped, closing your eyes, but nothing happened.

Tears fell from your face, as they looked at you, confused.

“What do you mean if they’re alive?” Dean asked.

“I-I don’t…. you broke into my house! I don't know i-if you hurt them, o-or….” you stuttered.

“Shit!” Sam exclaimed.

“Wait. You’re not a demon?” Dean asked.

“N-No. Demons aren't real,” you sobbed.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry!” he yelled, quickly untying you.

You backed away from them as they put their hands up.

“We're sorry. This was a misunderstanding,” Sam said.

“You kidnapped me,” you said shakily.

“We thought you were someone else,” he said.

“Y-You broke into my house,” you said.

“No, we didn't. Someone else did. God, we’re so sorry. We’ll take you home. I’m Sam, this is my brother Dean,” Sam said, motioning between the two of them.

You stood quietly, looking at them.

“What’s your name?” Dean asked.

“(Y/N),” you replied softly.

“Okay, (Y/N). We’ll take you home,” Dean nodded.

You hesitated. They were still two strangers that kidnapped you, but they thought you were a demon? They must've been crazy.

You slowly nodded your head, agreeing.

----

You got out of the Impala, with Sam and Dean.

“We’re sorry, again,” Sam apologized.

“It's okay. But you guys….. maybe you should stay for a minute. Uhm, my mom’s a neurologist. She can give you an MRI,” you suggested.

Dean looked confused, while Sam laughed softly.

“Uhm, her mom’s a brain doctor, and she wants us to get a brain scan,” Sam explained to Dean.

“Oh… no, we’re not crazy,” Dean said.

“Uhm, okay,” you took a deep breath, as you opened your front door.

“Do you mind if we come in for a minute?” Sam asked, motioning something to Dean.

“Y-Yeah, sure,” you replied, as they walked in.

“Mom?” you called.

“Oh, baby! I was so worried!” your mom exclaimed, running to you.

“I’m okay,” she hugged you tightly, you felt her jump a bit, as she saw Sam and Dean.

“Oh, Mom, this is Sam and Dean,” you explained.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Sam smiled, shaking your mom’s hand.

You heard Dean mutter something quietly, as your mom flinched.

“Mom? Are you okay?” you asked.

“That’s not your mom!” Sam exclaimed, trying to pull you away as your mom grabbed you.

“Sweetie, tell these two strange men to leave,” your mom said, sounding different.

“Uh,” you started.

“Look! Look at her eyes!” Dean threw holy water on her.

She screamed out in pain, as her eyes turned black.

“M-Mom,” you stuttered.

She wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you with her.

“I gotta say, I thought you Winchesters were smarter,” your mom smirked.

“Mom, what are you doing? L-Let go of me,” you said shakily.

“ Let the kid go,” Dean said.

“Drop the holy water and the gun,” your mom said.

“Mom, stop,” you said.

“Shut up, idiot!” your mom yelled at you.

Your eyes watered.

She pulled you with her, holding a knife to your stomach.

“M-Mom, don’t… please,” you cried.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas,” Sam started.

You heard your mom groan in pain, holding onto you tighter.

“omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te... cessa decipere humanas creaturas,” Sam continued.

You heard her scream, as black smoke came out of her mouth.

----

You paced around your house, thinking to yourself, trying to normalize the situation.

“No demon can enter your house now. Are you okay?” Dean asked you.

“No. My mom j-just died, a-and demons are real, a-and….” you started hyperventilating.

“Okay, kid, just take a breath and calm down,” Dean put his hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll feel better once you explain everything to me,” you crossed your arms.

“There’s no easy way to say this, but yes, demons are real. So are werewolves and vampires, the whole nine,” Dean began to explain, only making you worry more.

“But, there are people out there like me and Dean who fight them and kill them. We’re called hunters,” Sam cut him off.

“How do you become a hunter?” you asked.

“Well, sometimes, things happen to people’s families, or someone they care about. A demon killed our mother when we were younger,” Sam explained.

“I want to hunt,” you said.

“What? Okay, kid, no,” Dean said, giving you a look.

“Why not? I sure as hell am not going back to my old life,” you crossed your arms.

“It’s not safe,” Dean said.

“Then I’ll learn. Or you two can teach me,” you said.

“Why would we do that?” Dean asked.

“You owe me for kidnapping me,” you shrugged.

“We saved your life,” Dean said.

“Who said I wanted you to?” you clenched your jaw.

They both went silent for a minute before Dean spoke.

“It’s not gonna be easy. You’ll have to train hard, every day. Say goodbye to everything and everyone you know, you’ll never see them again. Once you come with us, there’s no turning back,” Dean said.

“I know. I want to do this,” you nodded your head.

Dean gave Sam a look before they both agreed.

“Wheels up in 15. Be ready,”

----

“(Y/N) this isn't some demon, or some werewolf or whatever, it’s Michael. A powerful archangel from another world. We can't kill him,” Dean exclaimed.

“And? I’m still gonna fight, Dean. You’re not stopping me,” you crossed your arms.

“What if you get hurt?” he crossed his arms.

“Then I get hurt! You’re fighting, Sam’s fighting, Cas is fighting! A literal one-year-old is fighting! Don’t tell me I can't fight!” you yelled at Dean.

“I don't care. If you get hurt, you’re gone,” Dean yelled back.

“I’m fighting, whether you like it or not!” you yelled.

Dean quickly put a handcuff on your left arm, pulling you to your room.

“Dean! What the hell, stop!” you yelled.

“No. I'm not letting you get hurt,” he yelled, handcuffing you to your bedpost.

“Dean! I hate you!” you yelled at him.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighed.

He started leaving your room before he paused.

“It’s because I care about you, (Y/N),” he said softly.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

He paused before walking out of your room, closing the door behind him.

----

You broke away from the handcuffs, Dean should’ve made sure you didn't have a bobby pin on you.

“Sammy!” you heard Dean yell.

You ran to the war room, seeing Sam, Jack, and Lucifer glow, about to disappear.

“Stop!” you yelled, running and grabbing onto Sam.

“(Y/N) no!” Dean yelled.

----

You felt Lucifer's blade go through your stomach, as you fell to the ground. At least you saved Jack.

“(Y/N)! No, hold on!” Sam yelled, running to you.

“I-It’s okay, Sammy,” you said, as a tear fell from your eye.

“No, it’s not. Please don’t die on us, (Y/N),” he cried, holding you in his arms.

“I love you guys,” you smiled.

“We love you too,” he said, trying to help you.

You paused, realizing the last thing you said to Dean. You didn't mean it. You were just mad.

“ Dean! I-I said I hated him,” you cried.

“I-It’s okay, he knows you were mad,” Sam said.

“N-No. T-The last thing I said to him, w-was that I hate him,” your voice wavered.

“Tell him I love him,” you cried.

“You’ll tell him yourself. Come on, (Y/N), not like this,” Sam’s voice wavered.

You limped to look for Dean, as your vision was blurry.

“(Y/N), thank god you’re okay… (Y/N)?” Dean’s face dropped as you walked to him in the bunker.

You tried to speak, but nothing came out. Nothing but blood.

“Kid,” Dean ran to you.

But it was too late. You were gone.

(Posted at 5:40 PM on June 22, 2020)

152 notes · View notes