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baeklination · 1 year

Text

Lacking Ver. 1

Date: 230312

Warnings: SMUT🔞, general fucking, anal, degradation-ish (giving, no harsh language or name-calling), gen. expl.lang.

Pairing: Baekhyun x F. Reader

NOTE: I don't know why in the world this Baek popped up first when it was finally time to get back, but he did. It was more difficult than I had first anticipated, even saying/writing what would prolly be considered mild for you who take part with gusto. But since my Baek isn't a full sub I think it kinda fits. Rest assured, this is not a "new style", I'm gonna write in my more common one next time.

WC: 1,2k

Masterlist

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"He in?"

Ji-Hoon offers a faint nod to let you know what you, of course, already know. Completely closing the blinds to his office to prevent his subordinates from seeing him means he's in a foul mood - and Baekhyun being in a foul mood can only mean one thing.

The latch slides into place with a smooth, metallic click when you close the door behind.

"What happened..?"

"I think you know."

Twirling a paper clip between his fingers he looks out the window, sighs, then rests his head in his chair. For a second he's about to say something, but instead flicks the clip away, having it land on the carpeted floor and swivels the chair away from you.

You know it too, if only as a fading memory; letting an account you thought was a done deal slip through your hands without noticing the point at which it happens.

"Sook already told you Mimora likes to fuck around, you know he wasn't expecting anything from it."

"From me, you mean."

"It. It would've been half a miracle if they signed, you know that. Everyone knows that. "

"Your subtle way of saying I told you so…"

"Well, I strongly advised against it, remember?"

"Mm… You told me so."

"B… Don't get hung up on this. You've got a great portfolio."

"Says the woman with the best portfolio…"

Moving from his desk to the couch - an automatic ask for you to sit next to him - he sullenly shakes his head, but he puts more energy into his kiss when you join him; the slip of his wet mouth makes his lips seem all the more plush.

"I wasn't good enough…", he whispers, looking for a certain reaction he sometimes needs when he thinks he's failed. Brushing his thumb on your cheek, he lets it naturally caress your back as you lean forward to take off your shoes. Waiting.

Sliding your hand over the hardening part between his legs then pressing, you put your mouth to his ear:

"You didn't impress them. "

Baekhyun exhales shakily, bucking into your palm:

"I bet I couldn't impress you either…"

Tugging at the lobe of his ear you flick open the button to his trousers and pull the zipper down. Just as you're about to put your hand down, he gently takes your wrist.

"No… You won't like it. Think I'm too small."

"Don't be ridiculous." With your hand between his pants and boxers you stroke him up and down. He's full in your hand, but you pretend the opposite, offering a look of awkward disappointment while Baekhyun's bottom lip quivers in anticipation of belittlement - and the chance to make good. "Oh… Maybe-"

"No, keep working it", he pleads, keeping your hand in place when you start to move away. "I can make you feel good. Let me try."

Somewhat trembling with adrenaline he undoes the bow on your wrap dress and slides his hands onto the skin of your waist, wetting your lips with his, trying to contain his breathing.

"Let me show you", he whispers, nodding as if to reassure himself.

Acting as if seeing his cock - upright and raring to go - is nothing to you, is a lie in every way, but you manage.

"Honey… Okay, just…" Knitting your brows, you turn and stand on all fours. "Do it from behind."

Baekhyun plays overly eager to a T, kicking off his trousers, pulling your underwear no farther than mid-thigh before putting his cock to your hole. Pressing, easily pushing himself past your wet entrance, finding a grip on your hips, sliding out, then pressing further in.

Your mouth opens, you bite your lip - censoring sounds of pleasure is made all the harder by his painfully slow bucking where he lets himself feel every part of your tight hug, from head to shaft, moaning airily.

"Are you in all the way?"

"Ah….. Yeah, all the way…" Baekhyun's hips slowly push back-and-forth against your cheeks.

"Oh…"

Snapping his hips, groaning, he asks if it's better without really wanting you to say it is.

"Do you want to try on top?"

"On top? Okay, I can do that", he says like a good boy and lets you turn.

"Maybe you should pump, get a little harder?", you suggest, looking down.

"You could do it for me?"

"No."

Baekhyun's chest tightens from your cut-down, his eyelids flutter when he firmly closes his fist around the shaft. This is reality meets play because you delight in feeling his knuckles brushing against your stomach when he leans over, steadily pumping, getting even more ready.

"Ahh… It's gonna be good for you…", he whispers eagerly, wetly, while aligning himself.

When he lets his cock slide in again you try acting blasé, closing your fist behind his head when really you want to grab his ass, lift your pelvis to meet his thrusts, get stuck in the messiest kiss… How many times can a person think "fuck me"?

It's not just you who keeps a careful balance. Here, holding you by the nape of your neck, vigorously pounding, Baekhyun lets slip an almost inaudible, true "oh, shit" with the rest of his labored breath hitting the couch beneath you.

"I wanna come in you."

"I don't think you're strong enough, baby."

"Uh…no, I can…"

"Hm? You gonna come in me like a man-"

"Yes."

"-spray me full with your small cock-"

"A-hh, yes…"

Straining from exertion and excitement, Baekhyun's words ride roughly on the waves of his exhales:

"Do you like it?...Ah-hh, do you like it..?"

Burying his length deep, slamming his broad hips against yours; yes, you fucking love it, so you pet him over his damp hair, lavishing him with encouraging words.

"You're doing good, baby. Try to come now-"

"Ohh."

"That's it, right there. Keep going, baby, show me a good man…"

His hand is to slippery to keep your hair in his fingers when he tries for a better grip.

"I'm coming…….ugh" Saliva lands on your ear, his sweaty groin rubs, presses, in a perverted frenzy. "Ugh…….chh………uh, now….ahh, ahh, a-hh!"

There's no hiding what's going on inside Baekhyun's office once he lets go of his persona and freely rides his ecstasy, wailing with his sweet, exhausted voice as he finally releases his cum into you.

Huffing, with his heart beating hard against your chest he half jokingly asks:

"What do you want in return?"

"Hm… Anal..?"

Baekhyun's stomach pushes against yours when he chuckles.

"I can't imagine squeezing myself in…", he muses, gently kissing you on the mouth. "I'd die."

"No, you won't."

With a jerk he looks at you.

"You mean it?"

"Mm, I mean it."

With half a smile he pulls out and starts pressing against your other hole. The way Baekhyun reacts to overstimulation is a stimulation in and of itself; knitting his brows, letting his mouth hang open while he stops breathing. The head of his cock, smeared with his own cum, goes in smoothly and he breathes again, kisses you again.

"Shit…" Moving his pelvis one millimeter at a time, choking, relaxing with a chuckle, is how he eventually gets all the way in. "Ah, shit…"

And then he's not interested in talking. Amidst generous, humming kisses he bends your leg to your side and starts rolling like a pendulum.

•

#baekhyun #baekhyun smut #note of sub #belittling

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flamingcraniumb · 2 years

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I've been writing like a maniac and I hope I can get the support of my friends. I know I've spoke out about the grooming I endured as a teenager and other atrocities. I sat down the other night, spent 2 days and a night writing out the entire story. Let me tell you something, write out your pain and hurt because young you didn't have the entire story. I was being emotionally abused by my "friends" in school, who caused the entire school to ostracize me. I realize these conversations are uncomfortable but if we're not talking about it then it's still happening. I was a traumatized kid by the time I arrived at my hs which made me more susceptible to the abuse. Let's protect our future kids from this. I wrote in the format of a letter to Melodee, since she insists on gaslighting me:

Melodee,

I know this is so very long! I just don't want to leave anything out. I'd hate for you to get your hopes up about having a chance at "destroying" me by using the decisions I made when I was a kid against me. All the while I was in a tornado of people, all throwing weapons at me. I mean its "cute" when bullies think the same empty, basic tactics they used on you the first time they tried to destroy your life might work again but you've used the, "my friend catfished me" out of context twice now. It's reassuring to see you both still lack the abilities to dangerously create false stories. I almost laughed at how you're trying to present this image of yourselves as people who are caring, kind, thoughtful!

So I'm just genuinely curious if you can come up with anything else that doesn't sound like another one of your cliche, predictable deflections SO yawn. Now that I've once again claimed the same mistake you keep trying to use against me in an attempt to excuse your terrible behavior. A single mistake you used to cover up the countless bullying and betrayal you forced me to endure. What desperate attempt will you use to discredit my voice? I don't think I have anything else you can use. I guess you'll have to learn how to be more creative or maybe you can find one of my other traumatic experiences to use to discredit me again. I'm fully aware I won't recieve any honesty. My healing isn't reliant on your ability to be honest about the cruel acts you carry out.

Why do you think I'm here Melodee? Putting myself back in a stressful situation with shitty people like you, who will hurt anyone just to cover their tracks, especially when I never want to talk to any of you ever again. Its my responsibility to protect/warn others. So if the pain you caused me can account for anything, than I hope it can bring awareness to emotional abuse in teenagers and how dangerous ostracizing can be. Its also my right to finally reclaim my voice after you guys tried to take it from me, it just took me awhile to build my confidence back up after all that.

So why would I step out of my comfort zone to dredge up the past? Its like that quote you posted, about how you could forgive someone for mistakes they'd made in the past if you knew they were doing the work to fix themselves? Well you can't fix people who won't admit they have a problem. So no, I don't forgive you for all the ridiculous shit you've put me through or your recent pathetic attempt to continue victim shaming me. The fact that you've not only contributed to the major problem of why victims don't come out about abuse, but many other incidents where you've willing suppressed women just for the approval of the toxic male. You've even gotten children involved in your drama. You're an enemy of us women and children, especially us abused.

I don't forgive Nayt, he's incapable of taking an honest look at himself, which I'd be terrified of myself too. Or maybe he's just not strong enough to do the work because it would take an extremely strong man to admit his faults and repair them. Instead he hides behind counter cultural movements, always shifting between personas. I'm goth, I'm a redneck, now I'm a hippy. When really hes just an an abuser who will use anything to justify why he put his hands on me.

I don't forgive Kaelia. She presents herself as someone who doesn't let anyone push them around. Well, I don't know who would be able to push her around when shes already the one doing all the pushing. I don't have faith any of you have any humanity left or if you even ever had any.

I dont need "friends" who will sit in the next room while someone is being hurt or potentially killed. I dont need "friends" who cause me to feel like I have to remember every word I've ever said, so its not manipulated to be used against me. Thanks to you guys, I'm actually able to recognize a lot of red flags sooner. Knowledge from abuse comes at a very high price.

Thankful I didn't supress myself enough for you to control me. You call me weak yet you could never endure the life I've lived and still stay honest. You couldn't even survive your own trauma enough to avoid becoming hateful bullies. Instead you chose to be weak and petty, using the same mistakes I made when you and Kaelia were bullying me. While I was still trying to recover from my traumatic childhood.

So here we go! I've taken your gags out of my mouth to finally tell everyone the true story of how two girls, who were supposed to be my friends, tormented me through high school, decided to smear my name, risked my life, allowed a pedophile to get away and ostracized me from my peers all for the amusement of petty drama.

I just starting writing out everything from the moment you and Kaelia darkened my door, to the moment when I was finally rid of you. I realised I'd never wrote out everything you guys put me through. Then I saw the timeline coming together, the pieces connected and I have to say I was shocked! It seemed so obvious, how hadnt I seen it before?! Coming out about Gunny and Nayt were completely linked. I could finally see the severity of what all of you did to me.

So I'm sure everyone would love to know the extremely evil and sinister act I committed that led you ladies to go to such extremes as, riling up our entire school to assault me after you convinced them to disregard when I was groomed by a teacher, sit in the next room while knowingly risking my life, romantically pursue the dv guy who just tried to kill your friend, marry the dv guy! Ok drum roll: so apparently when you're a stupid kid and do stupid kid things like create stupid bfs for your friends who are lonely, you could accidentally create these really thoughtful boys who write them poetry and remember all their favorite interests. You realize you've majorly messed up and that you didn't think this all the way through. You come forward on your own with guilt to admit what you've done. Never belittling their hurt and taking responsibility, even when you knew how hypocritical it is they're holding this over your head despite the excessive amount of toxic incidents they put you through. Some of which were: Kaelia starts dating a guy I had just asked out and was still hurt over him saying no. When you try to tell her this is hurtful to you, she assures you she isnt actually interested in him! She's merely just using him in hopes to get closer to his brother, who she finds more aesthically pleasing. So she drags you to sit with them at lunch, glaring at you if you look too miserable about how poorly you're being treated. I mean I could keep listing stories but its the same theme of me being too broken from my past toxic relationships that I couldn't see this was emotional abuse. I couldn't see that when she would start fights with me over my wanting to occasionally have lunch with other friends, that it was controlling, not loving.

So after admitting my guilt, you actually "accepted" my apology and it didn't take very long for you to be chummy towards me again. Which of course, I know abusers don't actually understand how the concept of apologies and forgiveness work because that part of their brain is already filled up with gaslighting and deflection tactics. It just reminds me how you guys would store every tiny mistake up to be used against me, whenever it was convenient for you to get away with how terrible you were treating me. Which I guess that's still a thing you do.. We even agreed on taking it slow LOL cause this was still in the days you wanted me to believe your nice guy act. Kaelia on the other hand wants and even demands you know you have upset her, this could go on for very long periods of time, over any little thing she chose to be upset about. So she would still hang with the group, dramatically she'd whisper into one of our friends ear that she might be close to forgiving me soon but I knew she just wanted to keep me hanging on for her. It really didn't bother me anymore because I felt I had been as honest as I could be with my mistake and I would constantly try to go out of my way to show I cared for her. I now realize it wasn't a test of whether I really cared for her. She just wanted me to suffer and it didn't really matter what I'd done. Now that I'm older and writing this all out, I see Kaelia was just another narcissist and you her flying monkey, until you decided to pick her brother as your new owner.

So Im stressed about my family falling apart and Kaelias bullying, so finally I said fuck it! I attempted to move on with my Life. I actually started developing friendships with others BUT youre not allowed to leave the narc. Kaelia is now a stalker, she seems to be going out of her way to just stand around hallways and glare at me. Literally following me around everywhere and being passive aggressive. I still hadn't healed from a lot of what I'd been through in foster care and didn't realize the severity of what you two were putting me through.

Wont you ever find peace away from these messed up individuals? Well the bullying and stress from home didn't let up, I attempted to take my Life. So as you know and I guess many others who I don't know but seem to know about my personal business that I went to an Institution. I knew I wasn't perfect and I made mistakes but I also knew in my heart that I would figure out how to navigate this Life. I just kept thinking, am I working against the Universe to keep attracting these abusive people? So when I got out, I really tried to piece my Life back together. I really focused on my grades, I didn't act like a class clown and my Mom enrolled me in ROTC. Hoping it would teach me skills that might help living with my adhd easier. NOT because I was some bad kid who was constantly acting out.

So many narratives people made up and ran with. I've never been good at or enjoyed keeping up with gossip but I could hear people say we went all the way to court where Gunny lost his job. I guess that narrative sounds a lot better than the truth, that my entire school chose an adults safety over a child's. Even though, just a little over in West Plains they couldn't believe how disgustingly the school was behaving. Funny noone ever asked me details about anything OH YEAH its kind of hard to have a voice when two bullies are going around telling everyone you're liar and who knows what else. I do one stupid thing that any kid could have done and they felt the need to discredit my entire reputation. I realize now I should have listened to my Mom when she told me you guys would hurt me. "Right as always Mom." I hate that you were also able to drag her into your sick games.

When I was at that age, I had no idea how to handle all the stress that was coming at me. Gunny like many other groomers saw his opportunity and took it. Same with abusers like you and Kaelia. You all kicked me while I was down. You and Kaelia had already been kicking me for awhile but this time you decided you really wanted to ruin my life. And you did, for awhile. I sometimes wonder if I would have really stood a chance too, because there was so much evidence against Gunny but noone could see past your lies. I dropped off because I couldn't endure it anymore. Just like I'd done other times in my life when people shunned me for coming out against my abuse. Then I carried around the guilt that this man was free to hurt others. You guys definitely have a long list of moral lines you don't mind crossing to get that petty revenge.

After Sophmore year ended and I had my Mother by my side, it seemed to finally calm down. I'd finally made a good hearted friend KC, who is incapable of even musing over the idea of hurting someone. It also renewed my Moms faith that I'd be able to have a life without abusers one day. But you know the expression sweeping a problem under a rug, really is quite suiting because I couldn't act normal after the hell you guys put me through. Plus the years of abusers before you guys got your hands on me, it just couldnt stay sweeped away. Then KC had to move to Springfield, we stayed close but now I was back in that school without the one person I could trust. Do you remember that day Kaelia got everyone riled up to assault me outside the cafeteria? KC surprised me, actually sticking up for me and she stood so strong for someone she loved. Thank goodness for people like ML and KC, cause I really don't think you guys would have let me get out of there alive.

Oh sweet perfect Segway to the next chapter. So girl thinks she falls for a boy, boy doesn't know how to communicate so boy starts belitting girl because maybe that'll work out for him...Different boy, Nayt who is Kaelias brother, tells girl that she deserves better than how this other boy treats her. So she just leaves because she'd kept staying too long before with people trying to make her feel small and she desperately wanted an authentic partnership. Well Nayt begins love bombing her for awhile and she thinks maybe she might have finally found someone healthy. These never seem to last long with narcissists and he quickly becomes extremely controlling, trying to keep her locked up in their shared room. Getting jealous when she wants to go sledding with her gfs, even though she tries to invite him. When she comes back he hasnt calmed down. *Refer back to my post coming out about that night.

Don't worry folks, she survives another attack from an abuser. The next day she tries to come for the rest of her stuff and her cat. Nayt is refusing and watches with amusement as her mother checks if the authorities can help them get their cat back, before Nayt follows through on his threats to murder their cat. She had a hard time getting her cat back because he wasn't chipped and Nayt being a cliche narc just wanted to drag out the tormenting as long as he could. So it would seem Kaelia wasn't the only abusive lover in the family.

You think you can paint this pretty illusion of a commune filled with nurturing love while you lure innocent people to a man with severe anger/control/obsession issues so he can play out his powerful/all knowing cult leader fantasies. I mean I don't actually worry that you'll convince people to move in with you. Youre still hanging out with the same drama obsessed people you were hanging out with 10 years ago, using the same knives to keep stabbing each other in the backs. I sit back and just wait for you to get bored.

I mean I already know you just can't help yourselves, you have to come out occasionally to see if you can wreak havoc in someone's life. No one hears from you for a few years, then you pop up as soon as you hear a potential situation you can manipulate.

Oh, maybe you’ll even go as far as trying to get someone's kid taken away from them just because what?! Nayt has some weird obsession with an ex of mine?! While you desperately have to please him! So why not cause heartbreak in a families Life. Did the situation have anything to do with you? Nope, you just have to be involved in petty arguments. Did you also have the audacity to reach out to me, who was almost killed by Nayt, to see if I would lie about the child's father being physically abusive? Of course, cause maybe you never learned empathy or you've been so damaged by heartless people you've succumbed to being just as heartless.

BUT just in case I was having doubts about how far you'll go to uproot peoples lives for your sick amusement, you admit that the child's mother, whose side you're on, has anger and drinking issues. Going into detail about how she gets so angry she frequently goes into a rages, breaking furniture. I mean come on girl, its like you weren't even trying to hide how shitty you were being. I have to assume you must have thought I'd also let my pain turn me into a monster like you.

WRONG, you were already going down on your first strike: I'm a survivor of a domestic violence attack from the guy you romantically pursued barely 2 weeks after I came to you for comfort. I even akwardly forced myself to stick by your side in hopes that would hear my plea because I thought he was going to physically hurt or try to kill you the way he had me. I don't know whether you really disbelieved me but I do know you're just a terrible friend, which is where your 2nd strike comes in: if you had actually been a friend to me in the first years we met, then you would have known a big part of my Life was and still is defined by being a foster kid. Who was taken away from my biological Mom and my brother. That I had to leave because my Mother was too broken from the damage in her Life to make good decisions and dated men that physically abused us. I grew up without my brother, the security of having a loved one reassure me when Life was hard. A huge healthy dose of all the trauma that would instill insecurities, leading me right into the clutches of abusers like you trying to convince me their toxic love wasn't toxic.

I was really thrown that you thought I'd help you take an innocent child away from a Father that not only loves his daughter but is extremely involved in her development. Especially whenever you carried pain from your own Fathers absence AND you've even been in abusive relationships. Still yet you perpetuate the vicious cycle of little girls not having positive men involved in their Life. For what? The satisfaction of pleasing your alpha male? I mean geeze Melodee you now have this long ass list of ways you're suppressing women.

During the time you ran off with Nayt, I hadn't quite figured out setting my boundaries or knowing the signs that a friendship is toxic but I was trying. So when I started talking to Kaelia again, I remember her being hurt that you just cut off contact with everyone, because she thought her flying monkey would have at least reached out to her first narc love. We even talked about that night Nayt strangled me because I'm sure you're aware she was there and did nothing to stop it. My young, naive self still trauma bonding thought maybe I could regain her respect again if she was finally admitting what happened that night. Wow, it feels so long ago and foreign how poorly I allowed you two to treat me. .

What if I had taken the path you did and succumbed to my hatred? Guess I spent so many years focusing on not becoming jaded that I didn't even think about being filled with doubt and insecurities instead, that were setting me up to develop unhealthy relationships. Its not an easy path but I stuck with it, broke my trauma bonding and finally found genuinely kind people who always remind me how beautiful I am. Reminding me that I didn't deserve all the hurt I endured. Who lift me back up where I belong. My heart is now strong and impenetrable to bullies belitting my experiences.

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