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#yes the game is going to take a while. i'm one person with a lot of problems LOL
northern-passage · 1 year
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i haven't shared a lot of tnp lately because i have been working on a different project, but i do plan to update tnp sometime this year. i know people aren't fond of less frequent updates, and "one update a year" is not exactly what i would like either, but tnp is massive at this point and i'd be lying if i tried to pretend like i could get out monthly/frequent updates. the branching is complex & it's not easy for me to put out smaller bits of content, because my branching just doesn't work that way, and i prefer to do big, chunky updates for all of you to really have something to sink your teeth into. if i could do giant full chapter updates, i would, but then we'd really be sitting around twiddling our thumbs for a while...
i never planned for tnp to take this long or even for it to be this large, but it is what it is! as they say, the time will pass anyway
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keeps-ache · 2 days
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DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D
#just me hi#i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv#cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy#i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :>#i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol#character customization Truly#//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh#these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3#these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33#//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D#yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of#the Fun :DD#been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe#in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times#/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of#trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset.#and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing#that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf#/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude#i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh#they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times#there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs#like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil#funny hfbvs)#//OH i've gtg now lol --#ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D
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yanderestarangel · 7 months
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HEADKANONS | JOHNNY CAGE MK1 WITH S/O
A/N: Yes, he's my favorite, please make requests for me with this man, I need ideas, I need requests- I'm obsessed for him. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.
TW: sfw, smut, fluff, sex, sexual positions, afab reader, pet names, vaginal sex, oral m!re. | f!re |, degradation, daddykink.
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SFW:
Johnny Cage is the typical golden retriever boyfriend, he will want your attention because we know he is an attention slut, not only applies to his fans but also to you, you need to keep in mind that when Johnny wants your attention, He'll get it one way or another, whether it's sending you countless messages, asking you for affection, or even begging you to stay with him, if you're the type to get angry and punish him with silence, he'll be very upset. bad, even becoming physically ill.
He loves being emotionally pampered, a lot of cuddling with him with his head in your lap, while the two of you watch a movie together in the living room of his mansion, while you massage his scalp and the light brown locks of his silky hair, he would be happy. smiling like a fool in love - which he is - even if you pointed it out, he would deny it with some typical joke of his, if you threaten to leave his side or stop making out with him he will pout and complain, a lot.
He also likes tight arms just enjoying the silence between the two of you, chaste kisses on his forehead or cheek are welcome, especially if you wear lipstick or gloss, he will smile sideways and run his fingers through the warm residue on your lips on his skin.
Johnny likes to show you on all his social networks, always taking selfies with you and posting them, stories talking to his fans but always with you by his side, he loves sharing some couple story about the two of you so that everyone can laugh at such a situation that you passed by, like the time he got the location of the award show he was going to wrong and you had to walk a long way to get to the right place, with Johnny carrying you on his back obviously, he wasn't going to make his beautiful S/O walk. If you're the shy type, he'll push you a little, not because he's mean, but because he wants to show you to the world, show the person who makes Johnny Cage happy, but if you still don't want to, he'll respect your decision, Even if it upsets him a little at first, he will still take photos of you and the two of you together, with various filters, from the cute ones to the most cursed ones he finds.
The two of you have a YouTube and Twitch channel together, he already had a channel so now you are a regular guest, after all you date him. Johnny loves just chatting in chat, or reacting to some edits and fanarts that his fans make of him live, he always thanks everyone and is satisfied, from the most amateur to the most professional, everyone is valid and valuable from Cage's perspective , and he also loves the edits with the photo and video of you as a couple, with you and him thanking you for your affection, he leaves the @'s of the editors and designers, encouraging their growth. In the lives it also happens that Johnny plays some games with you, his favorite is the horror genre, he loves seeing your reactions because you feel tense around him and the chat, he sits on a black gaming chair in the center of the camera and you or in the background or on his side - it's your choice - he also gets scared very easily so you can take advantage and poke his shoulder or arm during a tense moment in the gameplay, he'll jump and scream from his chair like a scared kitten while letting out a series of swear words - he may or may not have let his glasses fall to the floor and break one of those times.
Johnny lets you wear his clothes, he's very stylish, if there's something you like, you can wear it, he has enough money to buy a new and identical piece, but obviously there are clothes that he's more zealous and jealous of, he He'll even let you use it if you tell him you'll be careful, if you tear it or get it dirty, he won't do anything other than sigh and get irritated for a few hours, then go buy a piece like the old one and pretend nothing happened.
He also loves that you make him breakfast, he loves his food, his seasoning, the smell of warm food makes Johnny wake up in bed with a satisfied smile, seeing you in his kitchen, preparing everything for him, that's it. it also made his ego rise, but in a good way after all he has you in his life and no Hollywood award compares to having you as his partner, he comes up behind you and while hugging you, giving you a kiss on the head and smelling you, even though he's drowsy, he wants to be there with you, watching you make his breakfast with such care - Cage also whispers in a hoarse and low voice how much he loves you, thanking you for being so helpful to him and that will reward you later however you want -
The two of you play 'just dance' together, Johnny knows practically all the choreographies and makes you dance with him, whether you're good or bad at dancing, what matters to him is that you just have fun with him, and he's great at dancing, knowing move the hips extremely well and being very elastic.
Johnny loves sending you memes, posts, songs, everything he sees and remembers about you he will send you immediately, Johnny is the type who has a gallery full of memes that he never sent because he forgot, he is the type who sends more than +99 reels in less than 10 minutes, so if you two have been chatting don't be surprised if you get distracted and have more than 60 videos in your dm, each with a caption and context from Cage:
"I remembered you."
"LMAO you that day (Y/N)"
"That song is the one you like, isn't it?"
"lol that's so me"
"That food looks delicious, can we make it later?"
"pookie wookie"
"This film appears a lot in my fy, let's see it this weekend"
"Am I bbg in this edit?"
He also uses a lot of emoji and stickers to communicate, with chibi versions of himself often in his chat to show his emotions, he uses emojis to Seriously, then get used to using them.
He also uses a lot of emoji and stickers to communicate, with chibi versions of himself often in his chat to show his emotions, he uses emojis to Seriously, then get used to using them.
The two of you have a typical mean girls night together, with skincare, hair moisturizing, movies together and gossiping together, Johnny doesn't mind if you want to try makeup on him, or paint his nails - as long as it's black and he's not in No acting roles at the moment - he accepts it willingly, and he even likes it when you do eyeliner on him - he looks even more handsome, believe me. -
Loves to pamper you materially! Johnny is the type that if he sees that you are looking too much at a certain product in a store, he will pull you and enter the place, calling the salesperson immediately and buying everything you want, and I guarantee you, he knows exactly when you want something. or when you're lying that you don't want to because you're embarrassed, if you lie and try to say that you didn't want to, Johnny will get serious and immediately take the most expensive products in the store for you, as a form of "punishment" for lying to him. He will be able to take you to the concert of your favorite band or singer when he is off work as a Hollywood star or he will hire the singer/band you want to do a private show at his mansion, nothing is too expensive or impossible for Johnny Cage.
He loves romantic nights with you. Johnny will put on a fancy suit, hire a good buffet for a candlelit dinner with you, something he does practically every weekend, it has become a couple's tradition in your relationship. A good dinner and expensive wine, to end the night with the lights of the Cage mansion partially turned off, with you and Johnny in the large marble area, the only light was from the moon that entered through the large video window, with the song: "You rock my world - Michael Jackson" playing in the background, on the speakers of the luxurious room, with the two of you pressed against each other, just singing while dancing intertwined in a heat of passion and love. - Johnny loves this song because he says it sums up what you did in his life, you rocked his world in a way that he can only thank you internally for being the love of his life, and being the person he can count on always, even though he is sometimes too arrogant and proud to admit it, he always says: "-This song sums up what I feel and have always felt about you honey." -It's his way of saying he loves you, when he can't say it directly.
He hates to show it, but he is extremely insecure, after the separation from his ex-wife - Cris - he always asks you if you still love him or if you will leave him one day, this insecurity causes some jealous attacks when you go out, doesn't it? nothing serious, just Johnny sulking and asking you why you're so different with him - which you weren't - just make this man sure of your relationship, holding his arm or hand when you go out helps a lot, with him smiling stupidly in the corner because you're proud to be dating him, after all who wouldn't be? he is Johnny Cage after all.
He's extremely intelligent, so he'll love rambling about everything about you, movies, art, history, everything. He will talk about several topics at the same time, while his head is in your lap.
NSFW:
Recorded sex: He carries that stupid phone of his 24 hours a day, that is, this also applies to sex, he will fuck you practically making a movie every time, recording in HD all your reactions and how you fit your body to his so well , moans, juices of lust, your face salivating with pleasure, the nicknames, the dirtiest things, all recorded and saved in a folder with a password on his cell phone. He uses the videos to masturbate when he is traveling to direct a film as a director, he becomes needy and needs you by his side, having to settle for the homemade porn videos that the two of you make together, your pussy jumping on his dick in the video, his body, his reactions, as he whimpered, fucking his own dick in his hand, writhing on the hotel bed he was in.
Sex on the phone: Well, when the porn videos you made, he will call you, begging you to masturbate on call with him, either just vocally, or on video call, or exchanging nudes while the two of you did it.
"-Come for me. Show me how much you want my cock, how much you need me to fill you like the submissive whore you are."
Daddykink: Self Explanatory, he loves being called daddy by you, he himself has a habit of calling himself daddy in random situations, with an arrogant air. "-Leave it to Daddy, Baby." "-Oh yes, Daddy Johnny is here to sort it out." And this applies to sex, he will fuck you while you call him Daddy or Daddy Johnny - he loves that shit, it boosts his ego like hell. -
Degradation and praise: He loves to praise you and degrade you at the same time, he also loves to be praised during sex, especially when you do the "missionary" position, while he looked at your face, fucking your pussy with greed and hunger.
"-Do you want to cum, my naughty little slut?"
"-You really want my seed to fill your pussy, don't you? You're such a dirty slut, wanting to be bred by me. You want to mark you as mine, don't you?"
"-You're nothing but a filthy whore, begging for my cock."
"-You're such a good boy/girl, taking my dick in that tight, pretty pussy, like the good slut you are."
His favorite sexual positions with you: 69, Doggy Style, Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Missionary, Scoop Me Up, The Seashell, The Pinball Wizard, Valedictorian, Table Top, The Lazy Man, The Snake, Stand and Deliver.
He also loves giving oral, he would really stay under your legs all day fucking you with his tongue if he could, in every corner of his mansion that he could, his tongue fucks you in the right spots, passing from your clitoris to the your entrance tight, his thick and firm hands keep you in place, holding the soft flesh of your hips, massaging the area in small circles with his thumb while looking into your eyes, while his mouth was too busy working for you. make you cum - maybe... Just maybe he rubs his nose on your clitoris to tease you, he has a big nose... Just maybe. -
Johnny likes blowjobs when he's angry, he likes to come home, have a good whiskey while sitting on the couch, and you between his legs, sucking him greedily, it was a relaxing sight, making Johnny remember the good things about life, you.
"-Yes fuck baby... Keep going... I really need to cum, you're my good boy/girl, sucking my dick so good."
Please squirt on this man! He loves to fuck you and make you squirt, whether with his dick, tongue, fingers or even vibrators - which you have to stimulate your pussy and his dick in some foreplay - Johnny just wants you to cum and get him all wet with your Sweet essence, the first time you squirted on him you were embarrassed, but he wasn't, he seemed to have discovered a new world, smiling like a fool.
"-Mmmm Johnny... I... Please take it off, I-" -You tried to speak between moans, while your pussy squeezed Johnny's cock more than ever, he felt something different, smiling sideways.
"-Fuck I bet that's a fucking squirt, come on, I want to see you squirt on my dick baby, this is going to be so fucking hot, just cum in that tight pussy." -Johnny says, thrusting his dick even more into your pussy, with all the strength and speed he could have in his hips at that moment, fucking you to the core, he gives a strong thrust, hitting his dick on your cervix, making you moan and squirt on his dick, abdomen and groin, dirtying him all over, while he smiled extremely happily.
"-I won't stop fucking you until you do it again baby." -He says smug with a cheesy wink, but he was serious, you were going to do that until he saw you squirt and cum like that again.
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©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
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pb524830 · 17 days
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more than that
pairing: paige bueckers x oc word count: 9.6k c/w: sexual content, language synopsis: paige and laila have been friends (or more) for quite a while. but friends with benefits can become much more than that. a/n: had this little puppy in the archives, and someone sent me an ask saying it's their birthday. figured i haven't put out something of this length in a while! want to preface this by saying i'm aware ivy's don't give athletic scholarships. also that paige is a little insane and a lot stupid. anyway, since it's the off season and we won't get basketball for a while, just trying to keep everyone fed. :)
“Five.”
“No.”
“Okay, ten.”
“Still no.”
“Fifteen?”
“Paige, what makes you think that going any higher is going to make me want to take you up on this bet?”
Paige wrinkles her nose, then shrugs. “Bro, I just have a feeling you’re very, very wrong.” I roll my eyes at her. “When have I ever been wrong?” I ask. It’s a reasonable question, with a very obvious answer. She points at me accusingly. “You got a 98 on your calculus test. You were wrong then.” I scoff. “Well, I’m not wrong this time. Coach Auriemma will one hundred percent not let me onto the bus for an away game.”
Paige pouts. She’s dressed in full Husky gear today, a gray hoodie thrown over a pair of sweats. Her hair is tied back in a bun, but the two front strands dangle in front of her clear, blue eyes. She’s seated next to me in the booth at a local diner, and I have a full view of her side profile; sharp jaw, upturned nose, high cheekbones, perpetual smirk. “It couldn’t hurt to try…” she mumbles, reaching for her milkshake. 
I hold my hands up in defeat. I’m currently visiting Paige, and her, myself, and Azzi came out for a quick bite after practice. “Do whatever you want, Paige,” I sigh. She kicks me under the table. “You’re a bad sport. And if you’re so sure he won’t let you, then take me up on the bet.” Azzi groans and drops her head to her hands. “You two fight more than Paige and I do. Honestly, Paige, you need to quit forcing Laila up to Storrs for visits just so you can annoy her.” 
Paige frowns at Azzi. “I don’t annoy Laila,” she protests, draping an arm around me and pulling me into her side. She smells clean, like soap and shampoo. “Yes, you do,” Azzi and I respond automatically in unison. “Well, I don’t know why you want to act like you’re not annoying. You do annoying stuff,” she tells me indignantly. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Like what?” I demand. 
“Well, first off, you kick in your sleep,” she starts. My eyes widen. “Bitch!” I gasp. “You hog the blanket,” I counter quickly. She snorts. “That’s because you sleep in a ball.” I smack her side, inching out from under her arm. “I do not! I sleep like a normal person,” I protest. She settles her arm back around me and drags me back into her side, smirking at me. “Of course you do, Laila,” she says patronizingly. 
“Anyways,” she says, turning to Azzi. “I’m not forcing Laila to come up here. She’s grown. She chooses to come visit me, even though I apparently ‘annoy’ her.” She jabs a finger into my side, and I push at hers. “Whatever. New Haven’s just boring,” I snipe. “Nah, I think you’re secretly in love with me,” Paige teases. I pull a face at her, but my face still grows warm and my stomach still twists.
The truth is, Paige isn’t too off base. The two of us have known each other forever, since high school. She played basketball for Hopkins, and I played volleyball for Wayzata. We’d met at our school rivalry game, and she’d pretended to hit on me off a team dare. The rest was history. 
“... honestly, she should just transfer at this point,” Paige is saying matter-of-factly. I gape at her. “What, to UConn?” Azzi makes a similar face. “From Yale?” she demands. “From Yale?” Paige mimics her. “Yes, from Yale.” I drop my head to Paige’s shoulder, pulling out my phone. “Peace and love, babes, I’m not transferring out of Yale,” I tell her. She snatches my phone out of my hands. 
“Who you texting?” she teases. “My friends, bro,” I snatch it back from her. She rubs her fingers along my shoulder soothingly, trying to catch a glimpse of my face. “Why your friends got you smiling like that, huh?” 
“Paige, quit looking at my phone,” I mumble absentmindedly, grinning at a TikTok my teammates sent me. “Paige, quit looking at my phone,” she mimics again. Azzi throws a fry at her. 
“Why not? You could come play volleyball here,” Paige complains. I shoot Azzi a look, like, ‘really?’ Azzi sighs. “I’m gonna get more ketchup. You deal with her,” she tells me. Paige glares at her. “I don’t need to be dealt with,” she says indignantly. “Anyway, you should transfer,” she continues, taking my phone away again. I sigh, looking up to meet her clear, blue eyes. “Are we actually having this discussion?” I ask tiredly. She looks appalled. “Yes, bro,” she says, as though it’s obvious. 
“Paigey, why on Earth would I transfer from Yale?” She gives me another ‘duh’ look. “We have volleyball here, too,” she says. I blink. I always forget that Paige is this huge, superstar athlete, and that her sport will be her career. “Okay, but volleyball isn’t my future,” I remind her gently. “It’s just something that’s putting me through school. You know that.” Paige wrinkles her nose. “I always forget about law school.”
I laugh lightly. “I really wish I had that luxury.” Paige turns to look down at me, eyes roving my face, before she tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, her fingers nimble. “I miss you, though.” My heart stutters. Just friends, just friends, just friends.
The truth is, I haven’t been ‘just friends’ with Paige Bueckers in a long time. We met when we were about fourteen years old, and we got close super fast. A little too close. She was my first kiss. Well, we’d done a little more than kiss. But we were young and stupid, and we didn’t realize it was perfectly normal to like other girls. We hadn’t spoken of it since.
That wasn’t to say that I hadn’t thought about it. Of course I had. Every girl or guy I’d ever dated, I’d compared them to her. His hands didn’t feel as good on me as Paige’s did. She didn’t kiss like Paige. He didn’t sound like Paige, she didn’t feel like Paige. It was a vicious cycle. It took me a long time to admit that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t want anyone who wasn’t Paige. 
I inch out from under her arm slowly, ignoring the flash of hurt across her face. Thankfully, Azzi comes back before I have to respond to what Paige said. “Is she done?” she asks me. I groan. “Is she ever?”
_________
“He said yes?” I ask incredulously. “Bro, Coach is my guy, I gotchu!” Paige crows, jumping up and down on the bed. “I don’t have anything to wear, Paige!” I complain. “You can just borrow my clothes,” she suggests. I give her an ‘are you serious?’ look. “You literally leave in an hour, I don’t even have time to do laundry-” Paige cuts me off by grabbing my hand. “Dude, it’s not that deep. We’ll figure it out. Just pack what you have, and we’ll go.”
“I have school,” I protest weakly. Paige shoots me a look. “You were supposed to be here a week anyway. Coming on the road is better than being in an empty apartment for two days, bro.” I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t know, Paigey…”
“Laila, please? You love coming to my games anyway.” I ponder for a moment, twisting my mouth. “I really, really want you there,” she says, softer this time, pulling me in by the waist and looking up at me earnestly. My breath catches. She smirks. “Fine,” I relent.
__________
The bus ride to Villanova is long and bumpy. I find myself falling asleep on Paige within the first thirty minutes of the ride, tucked into her side with an arm thrown around me, all under a blanket. 
Every time I’m with Paige, I try my best to be present, and in the moment. Not just because I only see her once every couple of months, but because if I think about the future, I think about the past. Our past. 
You could say I’m a masochist for crawling back to Storrs whenever Paige calls with an ‘I miss you’ or ‘Can I see you?’ You might say I’m weak. You’d probably be right. But with Paige and I… it’s different. It’s always been different. And if keeping Paige in my life means being in love with her in private, I guess it’s just something I have to put myself through. 
I’m woken up by a soft noise in my ear. It’s Paige. She sighs breathily, frowning in her sleep. I watch her as her breath whistles through her parted lips, lashes fluttering. Her tongue darts out to wet her mouth. Then, she lets out a slight moan. And another, head tilting back.
I squeeze my hand where it’s resting at her thigh. “Paige,” I whisper urgently. “Laila,” she sighs, still asleep. “Paige, wake up,” I say, louder this time. I squeeze at her thigh again. Her eyes flutter open, lips still parted. Her eyes take a second to focus on me, before she rasps out, “Fuck.”
“What?” I ask, concerned. She shakes her head, leg shifting slightly. Suddenly, my hand is inches away from…
“Could you just… move your hand?” she asks groggily. I blink. “Why..?” I wonder aloud, before it dawns on me. My eyes widen. “Are you..?” She bites her lip, eyes trailing to the ceiling. And although I know exactly what’s happening, my hand doesn’t move. Instead, it inches to the waistband of her shorts like it has a mind of its own. 
“Do you need..?
Her eyes snap back to mine, widened, the blues of them darkened by her pupils. “Laila, what?” She asks, voice still hoarse. It doesn’t help the fluttering in my chest. I hesitate. “I just… if you need me to, I can-”
She groans, her hand coming up to trail down her face. “You better be fucking serious right now, Laila.” I bite my lip, watching her jaw clench. “Do you need me to?” I ask softly.
Her response is quick. “Yes. Fuck, yes, before I change my mind.”
“Okay,” I whisper, dipping my hand into her panties and moving closer.
“Shit, you’re wet,” I mumble into her ear, dipping two fingers into her folds. She hisses softly.
My thumb finds her clit and I circle it lightly, watching her eyes flutter shut and her tongue dart out to wet her lips. “Is that good?” I whisper softly, pushing in and out of her. She’s so wet that they slide in and out ridiculously easy. I bite my lip as she nods quietly, brow furrowing. Her lips part as I go deeper, head tipping farther back.
“Shit,” she hisses.
I swallow hard. “Hush,” I mumble, looking around. The truth is, I want to hear her curse, and moan, and whimper, and whatever it is she wants to do. If I could fuck her, like, really fuck her, not on a bus…
I savor the thought, leaning next to her ear to whisper, “Open your eyes.” She obliges, eyes shooting open to rove over my face as I fuck her with my fingers. I bite my lip, pinching her clit hard, once, before plunging in deep. “I’m gonna-” she starts huskily, teeth digging into her bottom lip. I keep her eyes locked with mine, circling her clit hard before I feel her pulse beneath me, breath shuddering out as she finishes.
I work her through her orgasm, lip between my teeth. She doesn’t break eye contact, her blue eyes nearly blown black, eyes trailing between my own and my lips. “I forgot how good you were at that,” she whispers. I breathe out shakily. “You should go clean up,” I tell her, feeling a pit open in my stomach.
“Nah, let me get you first,” she says back, casual as can be. My heart stutters. “What?” I whisper. She leans closer, lips pressed against my ear. “I know how wet getting me off makes you,” she says, voice sultry and soft. “Paige-” I start wearily. She ignores me, reaching under the blanket to ease my fingers out of her. “Suck,” she murmurs. I huff lightly. She raises her eyebrows expectantly, and makes a ‘hurry up’ motion with her finger. I glance around, placing my fingers in my mouth quickly, then nearly groan at how good she tastes. I let my eyes flutter shut as Paige pulls my fingers from my mouth and places my arm under the blanket before she pulls my leg over her lap.
“Paige, you don’t have to-” “I want to,” she interrupts me, locking her eyes with mine. “Just shut the fuck up for a minute, dude.” I laugh breathily as her hand teases the hem of my shorts, fingers ghosting the inside of my thigh. “You think you can make me come in a minute?” I mumble, lips pressed against her ear. I feel her low chuckle more than hear it. “I’ve made you come in less,” she reminds me quietly, fingers sinking into me.
I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut, as she works me with her fingers, her thumb pressing at my clit. “Fuck,” I hiss as her fingers go deeper, curling ever so slightly. “Shhh,” she soothes. “Look at me,” she whispers. “I can’t,” I mumble into her neck, feeling my cheeks warm at the thought of watching her face as she gets me off. Her fingers find a spot that’s especially deep and I whimper into her skin.
“Come on, Laila, you can’t be making that much noise,” she murmurs to me. “Sorry,” I whisper. My eyes roll back when she circles my clit hard, once, twice…Then she starts talking to me.
“So quiet. Such a good girl.” I gasp lightly.
“Are you close?” I hum in response to this.
“You’re doing so good, I promise.”
“Almost there.”
“Yes, that’s good. You’re so good, baby, so fucking good.”
“Look at me, please.”
I pry my head off of her shoulder to take in her face. She bites her lip, eyes trained on my mouth. I part my lips ever so slightly. “I wanna watch you come,” she whispers. It sends me over the edge. I feel my orgasm shudder through me, soft and unassuming, but curling my toes, and my fingers that have somehow moved to the nape of Paige’s neck, sending my eyes rolling back into my head. Paige soothes me through it, patting my back, circling my clit, and it takes me a minute after she’s taken her fingers out of me and stuck them in her own mouth, before pulling me back into her side to realize what we’ve done.
I also realize that this is the first time in almost eight years of knowing each other that Paige has watched me finish. Whenever we… experimented, it was always with the lights off, drunk in the back of a car or in one of our bedrooms. 
She’d certainly never called me ‘baby’ before. 
Hm.
________
That’s when Paige and I truly went from friends to friends with benefits. Probably not the best idea, considering this long standing and apparently never ending crush I have on her. At first, it was just small things. At dinner, she’d put her hand on my thigh, and I’d excused myself to go to the bathroom. I hadn’t expected her to follow, but she’d pinned me against a stall door and kissed me to within an inch of my life. Gasping for breath, I told her we would finish this in the hotel room later that night. She’d made me come on her fingers again before forcing me to my knees to eat her out.
Tonight, we're back at the hotel after an afternoon game, a few of the girls chilling in mine, Azzi, Paige, and Aubrey’s hotel room. The hotel does have a pool, and I’m feeling particularly devious at present. I throw on one of Paige’s old Hopkins tees - it’s loose on me. Paige is six feet tall on a good day. I’m barely pushing five foot four.
I have on what has to be the world’s skimpiest black bikini underneath the shirt, and I shoot Paige a quick text before slipping out of the hotel room and heading up to the rooftop pool. Paige is out on the roof mere minutes after me, clad in black shorts and black sports bra. Shit, she’s hot. I catch the sharp angle of her jawline as she strains around, looking for me. 
“That was fast!” I call. Her eyes land on me, and her hand reaches up to scratch her neck. “Shit, you said you had a surprise. Got me all excited,” she shoots back, sauntering up to me. “So, you gonna keep that on, or…?” she trails off, tugging at my shirt. I stand up, chest pressed to hers, before shoving her back a little, my hand grazing her bare stomach. “Get in first,” I tell her, smirking. She whistles, low under her breath. “Whatever you say,” she murmurs, licking her lips. She backs up, taking a second to slide into the pool with a soft splash. I walk slowly to the edge, easing her shirt off of me and tossing it to the side. “Shit,” she grins. “Have you always been this fine?” She swims to the edge, tugging at my calves to try and pull me in. I take a seat at the edge of the pool, her head between my knees.
She swims closer, spreading my legs further apart so she can rest her hands on my thighs, then inches them back to cup my ass. “You know,” she murmurs. “I didn’t have any dessert tonight.” I sigh, tipping my head back and leaning on my arms. “Oh, yeah?” I mumble. Her fingers pull at the strings of my bikini bottoms, nimbly untying them. She breathes against my bare cunt, and my head lolls back down to look at her.
Her face is pulled into a shit-eating grin as she licks a long stripe against my pussy. I groan out loud. “Fuck, Paige,” I moan, when her tongue dips into me, and her lips suck hard on my clit. “Oh, that’s so good,” I breathe, tilting my head back and letting her work at me. 
“Damn, you look so good like this,” she tells me. “You think so?” I laugh breathily, meeting her eyes again. “Your tits,” she says, slurping loudly. I whimper, biting my lip. “In that top. Shit, you have no idea,” she finishes. She places wet, sloppy, open mouthed kisses all over my cunt, sucking hard at my clit, flicking her tongue at my entrance.
“You’re so fucking good at this,” I moan out, winding my hand into her hair to press her closer.
She laughs into my cunt, and the vibrations coax another mewl out of me. “I know,” she says, voice smug. I moan again, louder this time, before clamping my mouth shut. “I should probably- oh, fuck- be quieter… oh, my God, Paige,” I stutter, throwing a hand over my mouth. Her hands squeeze at my ass, and she looks up at me, eyes earnest, lips glistening with my arousal. “Why the fuck would you be quiet?” she asks, sinking her tongue in deep without breaking eye contact. Fuck. “Someone- someone might hear,” I gasp out. “Shit. I was lowkey counting on that,” she says. Then she smirks.
It sends me over the edge. My thighs quiver around her face, and I moan out, “Paige, fuck. Oh, Paige, yes. Don’t stop, please. Please, Paige, yes, yes, yes…” My back arches as I balance myself on my hands, throwing my head back as my climax crashes through me. Paige quickly ties my bathing suit bottoms back on as I catch my breath, then pulls me into the pool to connect our lips in a bruising kiss.
I smile against her mouth. “Your turn.”
__________
“Fuck, we’re late.”
I hear Paige’s agitated voice early the next morning, then feel her hands on my shoulder shaking me awake. “Laila, wake up,” she says, her tone urgent. I push myself up groggily, watching her shove our clothes into a suitcase. “What..?” I mumble. “We have to be on the bus in five minutes, or I’m gonna get my ass handed to me,” she replies. I groan. “Fuck. Why didn’t they wake us up?” I wonder, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and jogging to the bathroom to wash my face quickly.
I throw my laptop and chargers into my backpack and swing it over my back, tossing Paige the plastic baggie with our toothbrushes. The two of us rush to the bus, barely making it on. I volunteer to put our bags under the bus while Paige grabs us seats. When I climb onto the bus, I see Paige arguing in hushed tones with Azzi. “What’s going on?” I ask.
Azzi is snickering. “Just asking why these headasses didn’t wake us up,” Paige snipes. Azzi laughs even harder, elbowing Aubrey next to her. Aubrey grins up at us, looking like she’s also trying not to laugh. “Y’all had a… long night last night. We didn’t want to wake you,” she laughs. My cheeks warm immediately and Paige gapes. “Motherfuckers,” she mutters, taking my hand and leading me to the back of the bus.
“Use protection!” Azzi calls after us. I have to physically restrain Paige from lunging at her best friend by pushing her into the seat, and climbing over her into the window seat. “Behave,” I instruct. She makes a face at me, diving under the blanket to rest her head on my lap. Her legs dangle over the armrest on the other side, too long to prop up against the seat itself. I uncover her face, pushing the blanket away, and meet her clear blue eyes staring at me. 
“What?” I ask, combing my hand through her hair. I part it down the middle to start a crown braid. She closes her eyes, humming. “Nothing,” she mumbles, sighing contentedly. I return my attention to her hair, braiding it away from her face on both sides, then letting it loose at the ends, securing the twists lightly with the rubber bands. 
I look back at her to see her gazing at me intently, again. “Dude, do you want a picture?” I ask sarcastically. She smirks up at me. “No, I want to fuck you again.” My mouth falls open slightly and I smack her on the forehead. “Quit it,” I command, tone hushed, brows furrowed. She sits up, the blanket falling off slightly, and looks around us, checking to see who’s watching. “I bet the bathroom’s empty,” she sing-songs, tugging at my hand.
I pull my hand away, smacking her again, on her shoulder this time. “You are not fucking me in the bathroom of this bus,” I snap. Paige sighs, leaning back and spreading her legs. For some reason, the way she sits really does something to me. I tear my eyes away and curl up against the seat, focusing on the air above her. “Actually, you’re right,” she starts, placing a hand on my thigh. My eyes shoot to hers, and her hand squeezes, fingers long enough to span my thigh and wrap around partially. “Right about what?”
She shakes her head, licking her lips. “I don’t want to fuck you in that bathroom,” she says, moving closer. She places a feather-light kiss on my jaw, then pulls away ever so slightly. “But I do want to fuck you on my bed,” she murmurs, then lands another kiss on my neck. My breath hitches, my hand landing on her stomach and bunching the fabric of her tee-shirt. “And in my car.” Another kiss.
I bite my lip, trying my best to act like this isn’t affecting me. “And in the shower.” This one lands on the corner of my mouth and my lips part unwittingly. “In the pool again would be nice,” she suggests smugly, squeezing my thigh again. “I’d take my time, too.” My breath whistles out from between my lips, and she plants a kiss on them before pulling away quickly. “How many times you think I could make you come, Laila?” she asks, breath whispering against my lips. “You’re a fucking tease,” I bite back. She grins at me, satisfied, and sits back, legs still spread wide apart. “It’s so funny how bad you want me,” she chuckles, closing her eyes.
For some reason, it hits home. And it reminds me that this is all just a game to her, that I’m pining after her like I have been for nearly eight years now, and that she just sees me as an easy fuck at worst, and a friend at best. The truth lies somewhere in between. This game we’re playing, that for some reason, I thought was a good idea - or knew was a bad idea and didn’t care - it’s dangerous. I can’t let myself get caught up in it.
“Fuck you, Paige,” I spit, then climb over her. “Yo, what-” I hear her confused protests and feel her hands catching at my arms. “Laila!” I hear her call, but I make my way to the front of the bus, plopping down next to Azzi.
“Pretzel?” she asks. If she notices my distraught face, she doesn’t mention it, and I’m suddenly grateful that I’ve known Azzi just as long as I’ve known Paige. I take the bag out of her hand gratefully, and I’m silent the rest of the ride home. 
_________
“You have to fucking talk to me-”
“I really don’t.”
“Laila, it was a joke, I’m sorry.”
“No, this was a mistake. The bus, and-and the hotel room, and the fucking pool. God, I let you fuck me in a pool? That’s so unsanitary, Jesus.”
“Is that really your problem right now?”
“I don’t know what my problem is, Paige,” I spit, whirling on her.
“Maybe,” I hiss, “my problem is that you are not mature enough to be friends with benefits.”
She scoffs. “Oh, I’m not mature, huh? That’s what this is?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” I tell her firmly. “Because now everything is about sex for you, isn’t it?’
“We both know that’s not your problem, Laila.”
“Fuck all the way off.”
“Obviously I want you, too. Otherwise I wouldn’t be following you to bathrooms or fucking you in pools or whatever the fuck else we’ve done. You’re being fucking stupid.”
“Do not call me stupid. And don’t psychoanalyze me.” 
“Why not? Are you afraid I might find something you don’t like?” Paige’s tone is harsh.
“What could you possibly find?”
“That maybe you like fucking me!”
“Fuck off!”
“You like fucking me, and you’re not mature enough to admit it. We both know that’s it. And now you’re running away, because you do that with all your fucking problems.”
“Fine. I like fucking you. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I snarl, throwing a tee-shirt at her.
Paige’s eyes go dark and she stalks towards me, shoving me against a wall by my shoulders. “Was that so fucking hard?” she demands. Then she crashes her lips to mine and I find myself moaning into her mouth, hands burying into her hair while hers roam my body, gripping my ass, spanning my back. I walk her backwards, shoving her onto her bed. “This is the last time I’m letting you do this,” I tell her, but I reach for the hem of my tank top and pull it over my head, anyway. She shrugs off her shirt, too, tossing it to the side, and pulls me onto her to let me straddle her waist.
“You’re all talk,” she mumbles against my lips, letting me push her onto the bed so that she’s lying down, and squeezing my sides when I kiss down her neck, sucking at her collarbones, biting at the skin above her breasts. “Are you going to fuck other bitches while I’m in New Haven?” I demand. “Maybe,” she shrugs. “Why do you care?”
“Don’t,” I snarl, gripping her ponytail tightly and pulling. She moans lewdly. “Fuck, okay. Yeah. I won’t.” I lower my lips to hers again, grinding my hips against her own. “Good,” I murmur. I climb off of her to wrestle out of my shorts and panties, dropping them to the side so that I’m completely naked in front of her.
She sits up on her elbows, drinking me in. “Fuck,” she whispers. I lean down over her, cupping her face and kissing her fiercely. “You’re overdressed, Paigey,” I remark casually. “Do something about it,” she murmurs back. I pull her to her feet and let her strip, too, biting my lip as she reveals her broad shoulders, toned arms, defined stomach, her long legs. I push her back onto the bed, and climb up to grind my wet cunt against her abs. “Shit,” I gasp, as her skin meets my clit. She adjusts our legs so that we can slot against each other, and I whine at the way her wet pussy feels against mine.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” she mumbles. “Oh, God,” I moan, throwing my head back slightly, balancing myself on her stomach. “Feel good?” she asks, thrusting up against me. “Yes,” I mewl, moving my hand to her shoulder, the other tangled in her hair. Her hands move to my ass, squeezing, then trail up and down my torso, squeezing at my side. She takes one of my breasts in one hand and kneads it skillfully, tweaking my nipple. I meet her eyes, their blue irises challenging, and lean forward to take her breast in my mouth. They’re small, but perky, and I maintain eye contact with her as I place sloppy kisses around her nipple, licking at it shamelessly. She smacks my ass, grinding me down further, and I moan purposefully loud against her skin. “Fucking whore,” she says, but her tone is smug, her eyes glazed over with pleasure.
“Shit, you feel so fucking good,” she hisses out when I change the angle that we’re scissoring at. I have a higher vantage point, and I grind my hips down slower, using one hand to lift my hair and the other to squeeze at my breast. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me come,” I whine, knowing she likes it when I’m so vocal. “Look so pretty when you ride me like this,” she murmurs, squeezing harder at my ass. “You like riding me?” She asks, smirking. I cock my head, grinding faster, and her eyes flutter shut. “Do you like it when I ride you?” I counter, innocent as can be. 
“Shit!” she gasps, and I feel her come apart against me, her pussy pulsating and dripping into mine. I grab her face, forcing her to look at me as she climaxes, and the blue of her eyes is nearly enveloped by the black. “Is that a yes, Paigey?” I coo. Her eyes roll back, body still shuddering. I’ve stopped moving my lower body, content with watching her finish. I push her mouth to mine in a punishing kiss. “God, I wanna record you when you come,” I whisper, and she laughs against my mouth.
“You got a filthy mind, Laila,” she teases, her voice raspy with exhaustion. Then her hands are gripping at my waist, and pulling me against her so that my back is pressed to her torso. “Filthy mouth, too,” she murmurs, lips pressing against the skin of my neck. My head lolls back against her shoulder as her hand trails downward down my stomach. “Oh, yes, Paige,” I moan as her fingers sink into me slowly. I spread my legs wider, and she pumps them in and out. “Yes, just like that,” I sigh. Her other hand comes up to squeeze my breast again, fingers moving faster, hand twisting my nipple. “Mmmm, fuck, don’t stop,” I tell her, biting at her earlobe. 
I whine out as she pinches my clit, back arching. “Fuck, you like that?” she murmurs, doing it again. She plunges in deeper, faster, alternating between toying with my clit and fucking up into me with her fingers. “Yeah, you like that,” she answers her own question when I open my mouth and a moan falls out.
“I’m close,” I force out, gripping at her thighs. “You gonna fucking come?” she asks, pinching my clit again, but harsher this time. That does it. I shatter with a scream: “Fuck, Paige!” and she coaxes me through my climax as it crashes through me, fingers circling my clit. I collapse against her, completely spent but completely satisfied. 
I feel her laugh reverberate against my back. “And you were tryna tell me you don’t like fucking me.”
____________
“Who is he?” Paige’s voice sounds loudly through my phone speaker.
“Girl, what? It’s three in the morning, who the fuck are you talking about?”
“This dude in your post. He’s touching all up on you. Who is he?”
“What post, Paige?” I mumble groggily.
“Instagram, bro, keep up.”
“I promise you there is no one groping me on my Instagram, now go to sleep.”
“Hold up,” she tells me. I hear rustling on the other side of the line and I groan.
“Right here. Second slide. Guy’s got his hands on you and shit.”
I wrack my brain, too lazy to go look. “Is he blonde?”
“Yes. I know you got a thing for blondes-”
“Fuck off, Paige.”
“But you are so out of this dude’s league.”
“Thank you, Paige,” I mumble tiredly.
“I’m serious, who is this guy?”
“He’s from my International Turmoil and Conflict Resolution class, Paigey. His name is Luke.”
“Your what?”
“It’s a class for my major. Don’t worry, he asked me out and I turned him down.”
“He what?”
“Dude, keep up,” I whine, burying my head in my pillow.
“Did you fuck him?” she demands.
“What the fuck?” I shoot back, too tired to deal with her bullshit.
“I’m coming down there.”
“Huh?” Then the line clicks. She can’t be serious, right?
It turns out she is very, very serious. I’m awoken the next morning by a loud banging on my apartment door. My teammate Kara peeks her head out of her room and sees me running to open it. “Are you expecting someone?” she asks sleepily. “Not that I know. I got it, though,” I tell her.
I open the door to a very frazzled and tired-looking Paige Bueckers. She holds her car keys in one hand, and her backpack is balanced on one shoulder. Her hair is down, and she’s dressed in a muscle tee and sweats. I blink, then gape. “Can I help you?” I demand.
She shoves into my apartment, dropping her backpack and keys on my counter before taking my face in her hands and swallowing my lips with hers. I gasp lightly, and she slips her tongue into my mouth. “Fuck, I missed you,” she groans. I let her back me towards my room, lips still devouring mine. “Do you always look this sexy in the morning?” she mumbles against my mouth, opening the door to my room. She pushes me onto the bed, towering over me.
I recover from my shock at this point, and place a hand on her stomach to halt her. Her muscles contract under my fingers as she catches her breath. “Paige, what are you doing here?” I pant out. She weaves her hand into my hair, pulling me back by my scalp before smirking at me. “I already told you. I missed you.” I raise an eyebrow. “You drove an hour because you missed me?” I demand. She leans down, ghosting her lips over mine again. It takes everything I have not to pull her to me and kiss her senseless. “I drove an hour to fuck the shit out of you, but you’re holding me up.” I shove her away, huffing. “You cannot just show up-”
“Would you have said no?” she counters reasonably, plopping next to me and pulling me into her. I hesitate. “Well, no, but-” “Exactlyyy,” she crows. I shove her away again, standing up. I tug at the hem of my shirt (her shirt, fuck me), pushing the waves of my hair up out of my face. “You’re wearing my shirt,” she observes, sitting criss-cross. I frown at her. “And?” She grins. “I want it back.”
I feel myself getting really pissed now. “You’re not funny,” I bite. She leans back on her hands, eyes roving up and down my body, her bottom lip tucking itself under her teeth. “A’ight, leave it on then,” she says, her voice low. I run my hands through my hair again and scoff. “Dude, what the fuck?” I snap. She looks taken aback. “You think you can just show up here and-and get in my pants? What’s wrong with you?” I demand, my voice rising.
Paige blinks. “You want me to buy you coffee first, or..?” I groan, covering my face with my hands. “No, Paige, I want you to be fucking normal.” She pulls a face at me. “What do you mean, normal?” 
I pace in front of her, crossing my arms, then uncrossing them. “We were friends before this, Paige. And we did normal friend stuff.”
“This is normal friend stuff.”
“Are you fucking joking?”
“I’m deadass.”
“This is not normal friend stuff. Are you high?”
“I wish.”
“Do not get cute with me right now.”
“I don’t know why you’re acting like you’re not the one who started this.” Paige’s tone is cold.
“Excuse you?”
“Maybe my memory’s a little off, but you’re the one who offered to finger me on the bus, right?”
“Because I thought you could handle it. This is supposed to be friends with benefits. That means we keep being friends. And we watch fucking movies and go to fucking parties, and you treat me like you’ve treated me for the past eight years, Paige. I’m not just some fuck-buddy”
“Well, I’m sorry, Laila. I’m so fucking sorry that I can’t treat you normally, because the second I see you, my brain goes blank. All I can think about is fucking you. I’m sorry that the second I thought someone else had their hands on you, I couldn’t see straight-”
“You don’t own me.”
“You’re still mine.”
We’re chest to chest at this point, breathing hard. Her eyes are locked on mine.
“What are you saying, Paige?” I whisper.
Her eyes dart away. She licks her lips. “Paige?” I push. 
“I’m sorry, Laila,” she whispers, eyes darting back to mine. “I should’ve stayed in Storrs.”
Then she’s walking out of my room, and I’m chasing her into the hallway, watching her grab her bag and her keys and walk out of my apartment door.
I cry so hard that night that my head hurts.
_________
“Laila, you have to come out of there.”
I suppose I should show some appreciation that Azzi and Ice drove all the way from Storrs to see me. “No, I don’t!” I call back. “You have to eat, at least.” Azzi sounds tired. “I have a lifetime supply of hot chips in here.” “That is not real food!” Azzi exclaims. The truth is that my eyes are too puffy and my head hurts too much from crying to leave my room right now. 
“Please, just talk to us?” Azzi pleads. I hesitate. “Okay. Come in.” I hear the door click open, and shift in bed to watch the two of them file in. Ice takes one look at me and immediately takes a seat on the bed, pulling me into her. I feel my eyes well up with tears again. “What happened, baby?” she asks, rubbing my side soothingly.
I sniffle. “Nothing. I just hate,” I hiccup. “Fighting with Paige.” Azzi rolls her eyes. “What did she do this time?” she demands. “She didn’t d-do anything,” I say, voice hiccuping again. “She just, like, came down here… and then there was yelling, and…” I trail off, shaking my head as tears drip down my face. “What are you guys even doing here?” I ask, my voice choked. “You have to have practice or something.”
Azzi plops down on the other side of me. “You are important to us,” she tells me gently. She hesitates. “And Paige isn’t doing too hot either.” I roll my eyes. “Paige will find some other poor girl to lure into bed.” They’re both silent. Azzi opens her mouth and closes it. “Laila,” she starts quietly. “Azzi,” I respond absentmindedly, picking at my nails. “You know that you’re the only girl Paige has slept with more than once, right?” I take a moment to register her words, blinking. “What?”
Azzi nods, squeezing my arm. “She’s not really too experienced in this area.” I snort. “She seems experienced enough to me,” I mumble sarcastically. Azzi shakes her head. “What I mean is, if she’s hurt you, or said something she shouldn’t have, she really didn’t mean to.” I sniffle again. “Well, what she said was basically that she doesn’t value me as a friend anymore and basically just sees me as a booty call.” “Come on, Laila, that’s not true-” Azzi starts.
I stand up, suddenly angry. “No, it is true. And it’s so frustrating because even before we started whatever this is, I still wanted to be around her. All the time! I missed her and her stupid laugh and her stupid fucking jokes. How can she not see that I’ve been in love with her for the past eight fucking years?!” I’m yelling by the end, breathing hard. Then I slap a hand over my mouth. Azzi and Ice’s eyes are wide.
“You’re… in love with Paige?” Azzi asks. “Fuck. No. Yes? Please don’t say anything to her,” I rush out panickedly. Azzi waves me away. “But you are?” I hesitate. “I… yeah. Yeah, I am.” “Oh, thank God,” says Ice. I blink. “What?” Azzi snorts loudly, then starts chuckling. Then the chuckling turns into laughter, and I’m even more confused than before.”Oh, God, you’re both stupid,” she gasps through her giggles. I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at her. “Explain yourself,” I bite out.
Ice is laughing, too, covering her mouth. Azzi finally calms down, wiping at her eyes and giving me a look. “Laila, Paige is head over heels for you,” she forces out, still shaking with mirth. I gape. “Are you high?” I demand. Ice butts in. “No, she’s right. Paige is so down bad for you it’s not even funny.” I scoff, feeling my chest tighten. “If Paige did like me like that, she would’ve done something about it way back in high school.”
Azzi cocks her head. “Didn’t you just say you’ve been in love with her for eight years?” I hesitate. “Yeah…” “And you didn’t do anything about it in high school, did you?” Azzi reasons. I open my mouth, and shut it. “Well, no, but-”
“You’re coming back to Storrs with us,” Azzi says firmly. My mouth drops open again. “What? No, I have school-” “It’s a Saturday,” Ice interrupts. Azzi crosses her arms. “We will carry you out of here,” she tells me wearily. I shut my mouth. “Just let me pack,” I mumble.
______
I’m sitting on Azzi’s couch, waiting for her to get back home. She had promised me that I wouldn’t have to talk to Paige until tomorrow before going to practice. Luckily, Paige doesn’t room with Azzi, so I would have no chance of running into her there. I’m watching New Girl on the TV, clad in one of Paige’s USA Basketball t-shirts (I really need to buy my own clothes), when I hear the door click open. 
“That was quick,” I say to who I think is Azzi, eyes still on the screen. 
“Laila.” I freeze.
I scramble off of the couch, turning around. “Paige,” I breathe out. She looks awful, probably not much better than I look right now. Her eyes are swollen and tinged red, her hair messy and covered by the hood of her sweatshirt. Her cheeks look sunken in. “What are you doing here?” I ask, shuffling my feet before crossing my arms over my chest self-consciously.
She laughs hollowly, her eyes sweeping over me. “Feel like I should ask you that,” she rasps out. “Yeah, um, Azzi brought me up,” I explain. “Paige, are you okay?” I ask. “Me? I’m chilling,” she replies drily. “You didn’t respond to my texts,” I say softly, tracking her with my eyes as she takes a step towards me. I stay planted.
“Was tryna give you your space,” she murmurs, moving even closer. “What’s going on with you, Paigey?” I ask, concern lacing my tone. She’s inches away now. “I wish I could tell you,” she breathes out. “Let me help, please,” I murmur, meeting her eyes. She licks her lips, her chest nearly flush against mine. “Do you have any fucking idea how badly I want to kiss you right now?” she whispers, eyes darting between my mouth and my eyes. My heart stutters. 
She sighs, leaning her forehead against mine and closing her eyes, cradling my face with her hands. “Paige, please, just talk to me,” I beg softly. She shakes her head. “I’m not good with- with feelings, Laila.” There’s a hammering in my chest. “I just know that I want to be around you all the time. And it’s been that way since we’ve known each other.” Her breath is warm against my face, tinged with mint.
“Then in high school, we were, like… you were my first kiss. And I realized that I didn’t want to kiss anyone the way I kissed you.” “Paige-”
“And then on the bus, when you asked… fuck, Laila, I was dreaming about you. It’s always you.”
“Then it was just any excuse to touch you, to feel you, hold you, kiss you. I thought if it was just fucking, it wouldn’t mean anything. And I know it didn’t to you, but it did to me.” 
“Paige-”
“You don’t have to say anything-”
“Paige, I’m in love with you.”
I watch her brow furrow, feel time stop, before her eyes snap open. Blue, clear, watercolor eyes.
“What?” she breathes.
I swallow, hard. “I’m in love with you,” I whisper. 
She shakes her head. “Don’t play with me,” she whispers back, voice cracking.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My eyes sting. “I’m sorry-”
Her mouth crashes to mine, kissing me feverishly. I respond in kind, throwing my arms around her neck, kissing her desperately. “Say it again,” she mumbles against my mouth. “I love you,” I gasp as she backs me into the wall. “Good,” she bites, nipping at my lip, shoving my legs apart with her knee as she continues kissing me hungrily.
She grabs my hips harshly, pushing me down onto her knee. My breath stutters at the sudden friction against my clit. “Not that I’m not enjoying this,” I pant. “But just to be clear…” She bites her lip, grinding me down against her knee, before attaching her lips to my neck. “Oh, God,” I whimper. “Yes, Laila, I’m in love with you, too,” she whispers against my skin. “Okay, good,” I laugh breathily, entwining my fingers in her hair. 
Paige pulls back from me and I whine at the loss of contact between my legs. “How pissed do you think Azzi would be if I fucked you on her couch?” she asks. I raise my eyebrows. “Reasonably, very.”
She grabs my hand. “We’re going to mine, then.”
It doesn’t take long for us to ride the elevator up to Paige’s, but it feels like eons. The second we’re through the door, though, she has her hands on me again, tugging my shirt off. “Quit wearing my clothes,” she chides, tossing the garment to the floor. “You always take them off anyway,” I snipe. She places her hands on my ass, gesturing for me to jump.
I do, and she immediately connects our lips again. “Remember… how I said… I wanted to fuck you in the shower?” she asks between kisses. “Do it,” I pant, kissing her harder. It isn’t long before our clothes are strewn about her room and she’s shoving me into the shower, following close after. I run my hands up and down her torso, smirking up at her. Her body really is perfect, lean and long and toned. “Have you always been this fine?” I ask, mocking the question she asked me in the pool. She kicks my legs apart. “Do you ever shut the fuck up?” she asks. “Why don’t you make me?” I murmur.
She responds by smirking and swiping two fingers down my folds. I gasp, head smacking against the tile of her shower. “Shit.” She slides her fingers in easily, long fingers wrapping around my throat to bring my eyes back to hers. I whimper as she pumps her fingers in and out, thumb teasing at my clit. “Can you take another one?” she asks. I moan softly, biting my lip. I already feel so filled. “Yeah, you can. Take it,” she continues, adding a third.
I fall against her as her third finger stretches me out, gripping at her shoulders and groaning. “Holy, shit, Paige,” I force out, biting hard at her shoulder. “You’re doing so good, baby. Come on. Just a little longer,” she coaxes, pushing me back against the shower wall and cupping my face, drawing my eyes to hers again. “You gonna come? Gonna come on my fingers?” she asks, smirking. I shake my head, trying to hold back. “Come on, baby. Let go for me,” she coos, kissing me softly.
I moan into her mouth as my orgasm washes over me, and she swallows every noise I make hungrily. “So pretty when you come,” she mumbles against my mouth. I pant hard, pulling away from her to lean against the shower wall. “Shit,” I breathe out. 
Her arms circle my waist, pulling me away from the wall and into her as she looks down at me. “Damn, I love you,” she says, grinning. I smile tiredly, reaching up to loop an arm around her neck and bring her lips to mine. “You’re okay, I guess,” I giggle, kissing at the corner of her mouth. Then I press a kiss to her jaw, her neck, her clavicle.
I wrap my lips around her breast and suck hard, tongue flicking at her nipple. Her hands find my shoulders as I drop to my knees. “You don’t have to…” 
I cock my head, licking my lips. “But you’re so pretty when you come,” I say innocently, echoing her words. Then I sink my tongue deep into her cunt.
______
“Come back to bed.”
“In a minute.”
“Please, baby.”
“Don’t get cute. It’s not gonna work.”
“I’m cold, though.”
I throw a blanket at Paige. “There.”
She pouts from where she’s sitting on the bed. “You’re no fun.”
I place my pen between my teeth, typing a question out quickly onto my laptop and leaning down to scribble a note for myself hurriedly on a legal pad. I feel Paige’s hands land on my shoulders, soothing up and down my arms. She presses a kiss to my temple. 
“You work too hard.” I shake my head. “Not hard enough.” The pressure of being in my junior year and about to apply to law school is really getting to me. “I think you need a break, baby,” Paige whispers in my ear. “Just lay down for a minute.” I yawn, scribbling another note to myself on a Post-It. “Okay, just a minute,” I relent.
I let Paige lead me to the bed and guide me to her chest, my ear pressed to her heartbeat. “I love how dedicated you are,” she mumbles, “but sometimes, you work so hard that it worries me.” I hum, feeling my eyes flutter as she inches her hand under my oversized shirt, rubbing soothing circles on my bare back. “Have to go… Harvard Law,” I say in between yawns. “Shhh… don’t put so much pressure on yourself,” she whispers. “You put pressure on yourself,” I mumble back sleepily.
“Nothing is worth your sanity,” she says firmly, stroking my hair with her other hand. I shift so that I can look up at her, smiling tiredly. I meet her blue eyes, fringed with long, blonde lashes. “You’re so pretty,” I smile up at her. I feel her laughter rumbling in her chest. “You’re tired,” she responds.
“No, really,” I mumble, letting my eyes trail over her face. I trace the tip of her nose with my finger absentmindedly. “Thanks, Laila,” she chuckles low under her breath, grinning down at me. My eyes flutter closed and she shakes me awake immediately. “Hey, hey, you gotta do skincare first. Or you’ll give me shit for it tomorrow,” she urges, rolling out from under me. I reach for her absentmindedly, then sit up, yawning again. Paige disappears into her bathroom, then re-emerges with my toiletry bag in hand. “You should just leave your stuff here, bro, I’ll clear a drawer or something,” she remarks as she walks towards the bed. I watch her lithe figure approach. “You’re, like, really tall,” I observe.
Paige raises an eyebrow. “You think so?” She muses. I nod thoughtfully, letting her wet a cotton pad with makeup remover and swipe it on my face, removing the remnants of blush. “I like that about you,” I say matter of factly. She wipes the pad over my mouth and I stick my tongue out at her, bringing my knees to my chest. She takes out the jade roller and begins applying serum to my face with it. I raise my eyebrows, a little impressed.
“Oh yeah? What else do you like about me?” Paige asks slyly. I tilt my head thoughtfully, wincing when she pats cold moisturizer onto my face. “I like your eyes,” I hum, tracking them as they rove over my face. “Your shoulders,” I say, my voice softer now. “My shoulders?” she asks, laughing slightly. I shrug. “You have a nice laugh,” I add. She fights a smile, closing my various containers and placing them back into the bag. 
“Really? ‘Cause Azzi says I laugh like a horse,” she tells me. I pause for a moment. “Actually, a little,” I admit. “Oh, my God. Y’all are so fake,” she protests, smacking me with a pillow. “But it’s so infectious,” I continue indignantly, holding my hands up to defend myself. “Like, when you laugh, I want to laugh,” I say earnestly.
Paige wrinkles her nose. “You’re corny,” she teases, flopping back onto the bed. I scoot around to face her, sitting criss-cross. I grab the pillow from her hand and smack her with it. “I can’t help it,” I tease back. Paige looks down at me, inching her hand under her shirt and resting it on her stomach. “You want to know something?” she asks quietly, her blue gaze piercing.
I nod, shifting closer. “Promise you won’t freak out,” she says. Of course not.” She hesitates. “You know how… back in high school, we would, like, experiment? Or whatever?” I nod, urging her to go on. “I had a crush on you then, too,” she admits sheepishly. I snort out loud. Then I snort again, feeling a chuckle emerge, and then I start laughing. “What is funny?” Paige demands.
I shake my head, waving my hands in front of me in a calm-down motion, still laughing loudly. “No, it’s just…” I sigh with laughter, wiping at my eyes. “That’s funny that you say that because you had me with that stupid pick up line you used,” I force out, quieting my laughter. She raises her eyebrows. “No shot ‘you’re the only ten I see’ worked on you, Laila. That’s crazy,” she says, completely deadpan. I flop down onto the bed next to her, wiping away my tears and calming myself down.
“I probably just thought you were hot,” I admit, turning on my side to face her. She mimics me, turning on her own side. “Didn’t know you had a thing for white girls,” she smirks. I groan, smacking her as she pulls me into her by my waist, her arms wrapping around me and sneaking under my shirt again. “Do not put that on me,” I mumble as she presses her mouth to mine, feeling myself grin stupidly into the kiss.“You should have said something,” Paige whispers. I toy with the hair surrounding her face. “You should have said something,” I accuse. She scoots closer, pressing into me further. “We were so stupid,” she mumbles. I nod, laughing lightly. “I would have been with you in a heartbeat back then,” I tell her quietly. Her eyes flicker between mine, breath hitching. “And now?” she asks. I shake my head, biting back a smile. “I’m still all yours, Paige Bueckers,” I whisper. She kisses me again, softly, insistently. “Corny,” I hear her mumble again, and I laugh against her lips.
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writingwithciara · 2 months
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For The Cameras ~Matt Sturniolo~
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summary: a kiss cam produces unexpected results
word count: 1.9k (not as long as normal but a decent length imo)
pairing: matt sturniolo x reader
note: got a sweet message from @lolasturniolo and i loved the prompt. hope you don’t mind that i made it a sorta friends-to-lovers fic 😊
masterlist
“so who are we taking to the game tonight? we have 1 extra ticket and 3 options.” nick looked at his brothers.
"i vote to bring justin." matt said without looking up from his phone.
"really? i say nate." chris looked around the room.
"so you guys bring me back to boston and i'm not even an option for you?" y/n threw her hands up and shook her head.
"if it helps, i was going to pick you." nick smiled.
"if we each choose a different person, we're just right back where we started." matt set his phone down.
"we could always put their names in a hat and pick randomly." chris suggested.
"or, we think about this. both justin and nate have been to a hockey game and y/n has never been to one. plus, we did drag her all the way here. do we really want to be leaving her alone?"
"well, as good of a point as it is, i'm keeping my vote for justin. we don't spend a lot of time with him and i think it'd be nice to bring him to a game while we're here." matt smiled.
"i'm changing my vote to y/n. she deserves to have some fun on this trip." chris looked at his friend and smiled.
"that's two-to-one." nick looked at matt. "so you're overruled no matter what."
"okay fine. but justin gets to go with us to the next one." matt stood up and went to his room to get ready. chris did the same, leaving nick and y/n in nick's room.
"nick, i don't have anything to wear to represent the team."
"don't worry about it. we can buy you something when we get there. don't forget to dress warm. i'll wait for you to get changed then we can go."
"yes sir." y/n began to dig through her bag for something to wear. she pulled out her favorite ransom shirt and a hoodie she borrowed from chris nearly 3 years ago. after she changed into her favorite pair of jeans, nick came back into the room to change.
once everyone was changed, they met out at the car.
the drive to the arena was short and the car was filled with nothing but silence.
when they arrived, nick went to take y/n to get something to represent the team but matt pulled a boston jersey from the car and handed it to her.
"figured you wouldn't have anything to show your pride in the team so i grabbed an extra jersey."
"wow. you're so thoughtful for someone who didn't even want me to come to the game with you guys."
"i never said i didn't want you to come. i just said we barely spend time with justin and he would've loved it."
"i'm messing with you matt. i don't care that you didn't want me to be here."
"i didn't....whatever." matt walked away with nick. y/n pulled the jersey over her head and looked at chris.
"how do i look?"
"you look..really good." chris smiled and the two of them jogged to catch up to matt and nick.
the group looked at their tickets and went to their seats. matt was between y/n and nick, while chris was on the other side of y/n. he made eye contact with y/n as they sat down and he rolled his eyes.
he didn't hate her, nor did he dislike having her around. in fact, he loved having her around all the time.
to him, she was perfect. and his brothers knew it. they were always trying to push them together but y/n would never show interest in him & had only referred to him as a friend. and so born was his hatred towards her.
as the game went on, y/n cheered at the right moments and matt couldn't help but admire her every feature, hoping he wouldn't get caught.
unfortunately for him, chris and nick were in the bathroom when the kiss cam came around. he was still admiring y/n when the camera pointed at them. she noticed the stupid grin on his face and looked over at him.
"i think you should look at the screen, matt."
"huh?" he snapped out of his daze to glance at the screen. the large words KISS CAM flashed in red and his cheeks darkened. he knew he had been caught. he looked at the camera and shooed them away.
y/n stared at him with both shock and awe on her face. part of her wanted to kiss him but the other part of her didn't want to make him uncomfortable. so she just went back to watching the players skate around.
a few minutes later, the kiss cam returned to them and once again, matt declined. this time though, the fans around them booed. it nearly embarrassed matt but as he looked down at his feet, y/n grabbed his hand, almost immediately calming him down.
"thanks." he leaned closer and whispered in her ear.
"not a problem." she smiled sweetly at him and returned her attention back to the players. her hand didn't move from matt's grip but neither of them seemed to mind.
at the end of the 2nd period, the kiss cam returned. no matter how many times matt asked them to leave, they kept coming back. y/n felt matt's grip tighten on her hand so she placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, hoping it would satisfy everyone.
it did not.
the camera continued to point at the duo and all eyes, even the players, were on them.
"i'm sorry about this." y/n whispered to matt before turning his head and kissing him. the crowd finally cheered and the camera crew went away.
but y/n and matt were too wrapped up in each other to notice.
his hand detached from hers and he placed them on her cheeks. y/n smiled into the kiss.
when they both finally stopped kissing each other, the smile on their faces was permanent.
"i hope that wasn't too embarrassing or awkward for you." y/n smiled and went back o squeezing his hand. matt didn't say anything. his earlier focus on the game was long gone and replaced with y/n.
when the game was finally over, y/n stood up and stretched.
"oh my goodness. that was amazing."
"yeah it really was." nick smiled and began heading out.
"it was good but i think matt really enjoyed it." chris smirked, earning a punch to both of his arms by his brothers and best friend. "ouch."
"anyone have to use the bathroom before we head out?" nick stopped outside the bathroom and looked at everyone.
"yeah. i promise i'll be quick." y/n walked into the bathroom and matt felt his brothers staring at him.
"what?"
"so, that kiss was certainly something, huh?"
"it didn't mean anything. it was just to get the kiss cam people off our backs."
"i don't think that was the only reason you guys kissed." chris raised an eyebrow.
"yeah. it looked pretty intense from an outside point of view."
"what do you mean?"
"you guys kissed for like 10 seconds after the camera crew left. you can't tell me that your feelings for her aren't returned."
"please can we change the topic?"
"what are you dorks talking about now?" y/n asked as she walked out of the bathroom.
"the hockey game." matt quickly covered up before the awkward tension got too high.
"it was so good. and oh my god. jeremy swayman is so hot. wow." y/n swooned and began to walk ahead of the boys.
when they got to the car, chris got in the back, allowing y/n to sit up front with matt. the drive home wasn't as quiet as the first drive but the air felt different. like there was something that needed to be said but nobody wanted to say it.
matt put the car in park and everyone got back.
"well, i'm beat. think im gonna go to bed. good night." chris yawned and headed up to his room. y/n followed nick to his room and flopped down on the bed.
"hey, do you have feelings for matt?"
"why do you ask?"
"that kiss tonight seemed very electric. the chemistry between you two was already really intense and if you don't have feelings for him, you need to let him know. because he's been crushing on you for years and the way you kissed him looked like you might have the same feelings."
"god, nick. of course i like matt. what's not to like? he's incredibly thoughtful and he's so cute. he doesn't judge me for my taste." she shot her best friend a look. "he's just perfect in every aspect of the word and...." she paused and sat up. 'are you sure he likes me?"
"when have i ever lied to you, sweetheart?"
"every day since you learned to talk."
"only when it saved your ass." he looked at her as she walked to the door. "but i promise you that i am not lying about this. matt really does have feelings for you."
"okay. if this is some sort of cruel joke, i will never speak to you again."
"and why would i risk that?"
"good point. wish me luck then." y/n took a deep breath and opened the door.
matt was leaning against the counter and when he heard the bedroom door close, he looked up.
"hey."
"hi." y/n stood awkwardly just outside the bedroom. matt put his phone in his pocket and crossed his arms.
"can i ask you something?"
"of course, matt." y/n's composure returned to normal when she heard the worriedness lining matt's voice.
"why does this have to be weird between us?"
"what do you mean?"
"we kissed and now, the air around us has changed drastically. did you....did you not like it or something?"
"of course i liked it, matt. but it's not how i pictured our first kiss happening."
"really?" he finally looked at her face. "h-how did you picture it happening?"
"this is going to sound really cheesy and cliche. are you sure you want to hear it?"
"oh, absolutely." his interested piqued and he found himself moving closer.
"well, when i pictured kissing you for the first time, i always used to think it would happen after you stood up for me somehow. like a knight in shining armor. and then i would run up to you and kiss you. you would be shocked at first but you would kiss back and you would put so much emotions into it."
"how did the kiss cam kiss measure up to what you pictured?"
"it was incredible, sure. but it didn't meet my expectations." y/n smirked. matt took an extra second to understand what she was hinting at but when he got it, he returned the smirk.
"didn't meet your expectations, huh?" he inched closer. "maybe i should change that. i-if you want me to."
"just kiss me, please."
matt wasted no time at all. he quickly grabbed her face and kissed her. all the feelings they had both been building up for years was being poured out into the kiss.
matt pulled her closer and made sure she felt what he was feeling. and when they pulled away, they both couldn't stop smiling.
"how was that?"
"better than expected, for sure. and something i think i want to keep doing."
"i can totally deal with that." matt smiled before pulling her back in for another kiss.
taglist: @worldlxvlys @lolasturniolo @carolinalikesthings @ciarasturn1 @fearfam69691
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99thpercentile · 6 months
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I get the feeling that I'm in the minority here, but I posit that GLaDOS actually is Caroline, and only "not the same person" in the sense that you'd look at your younger self and be like "that bitch ain't me." I think you actually have to go out of your way to interpret them as two separate people.
evidence:
voiced by the same person (I know the initial reasoning was that Valve didn't want to hire another voice actor for a few lines, but in casting Ellen McLain as Caroline, they incorporated her being the same person into the story).
GLaDOS automatically joins in saying "Yes sir, Mister Johnson" like saying it is permanently ingrained in her. you can interpret this as Caroline taking over, but she says "Why did I just—" immediately afterwards.
when GLaDOS talks about hearing the voice of a conscience, she says "for the first time it's MY voice." I don't think she means that she's hearing the woman she gets her literal voice from. she highlights it as distinctly DIFFERENT from hearing the voices of the cores, and I imagine if Caroline were a foreign entity whispering in her ear, the effect would've been much the same.
the GLaDOS project was originally started because Cave was dying and wanted his consciousness uploaded to a computer. the intent was always for the upload to be the same person. he said if he died first, he wanted Caroline to run the place, to be put in his computer. and that's exactly what happened.
GLaDOS not remembering she's Caroline until old Aperture always made sense to me as the result of a deliberate choice on the part of the scientists. Caroline didn't want to be uploaded, and as soon as they switched GLaDOS on, she tried to kill everyone. it's logical for the scientists to think that if they suppressed her memories, she'd have no reason to try to kill them (but instead, she was just filled with murderous rage and no longer knew why).
the story just doesn't have the same impact otherwise. GLaDOS's reactions to rediscovering old Aperture make more sense if it's her past she's rediscovering, rather than the past of...a human that was shoved into the chassis with her. if it were the second one, I think she would just feel violated, not have any major revelations.
counter-evidence:
"now little Caroline is in here too" lyric from Want You Gone
GLaDOS says she found out "where Caroline lives in [her] brain" and deleted her, like she's a separate entity
but GLaDOS is a habitual liar. she acts like deleting Caroline means she's fully back to her old self and has gotten rid of the part of her that made her want to save Chell's life, but there's...lots of evidence that she still cares about Chell after the fact (letting her go anyway, the companion cube, the turret opera if you think GLaDOS arranged that, talking to the co-op bots about Chell like she's an ex she's still heartbroken over...). I also think GLaDOS would like to imagine her and Caroline as two separate entities, in the same way you might find your younger self embarrassing and want to distance yourself from that person. I think it's notable that both instances where she refers to Caroline as a separate entity are at the end of the game, after Chell has been passed out a while and she's had time to process everything and compartmentalize. her instinct when the revelations are first happening is to refer to Caroline as if she is her.
now I don't like stories where a robot has to become or be seen as more human in some way for them to be sympathetic. but I think Portal 2 is an excellent subversion of this trope, because GLaDOS is a robot that learns she used to be human and then discards that humanity (symbolically if not literally). Caroline may not have wanted to be uploaded, but from the Want You Gone lyrics "one day they woke me up / so I could live forever / it's such a shame the same will never happen to you" I think we can say that GLaDOS definitely prefers being a robot now that she is one.
anyway this post was supposed to be much shorter than this, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
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lunamadhatter99 · 5 months
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All for the cameras
Chapter 1
Finnnick Odair x Fem!reader
So... here's the first chapter of my Finnick series. I hope you'll like it and comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters.
I warn you, it's a slow burn with LOTS of tension. But I think it's going to be worth it in the end. ❤️❤️❤️
Chapter summary: Y/n is the Capitol's Princess. Everybody in the Capitol loves her... unfortunately for her. This first chapter is a little introduction about her role as a "support mentor".
Chapter warnsings: mention of rape, prostitution, and... it's the Hunger Games... what can you expect.
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The Victory Tour is probably the one thing I like about the Hunger Games. The attention of the Capitol isn't directly at me, but at the Victor in question, especially the pervs' attention.
Everyone thinks that being President Snow's protégé is like being Capitol's Princess, well... that's just what the cameras catch, but it really isn't. I am no different from someone living in the districts.
I am a slave like anyone else.
Even though I won't have to deal with the creeps at the Capitol during the tour, I still have a job to do, I can't exactly let out a sigh of relief.
This tour is probably the hardest one I've ever had to experience. Turning a hunter into an actress for the Capitol is no easy job.
Katnis has many skills... many, but pretending to be in love with someone isn't her best. Unfortunately, her life, anyone's life, actually depends on it.
Snow made it clear to me.
I arrive in district 12 with Effie and the rest of the crew, ready to help the two victors make everything as believable as possible.
I decided to go to Peeta first, while Effie and Cinna went to Katniss.
"Yes?" Peeta calls from behind the door.
"It's Y/n," I answer.
He immediately opens the door to let me and his stylist in and pulls me in a big hug.
"I'm happy to see you," he says, almost relieved.
"Well, it's my job, pretty boy," I pull away with a smile, "how do you feel today?"
He takes a moment to answer.
"I'm okay, I guess, nervous too,"
"You'll be fine, trust me. You're a natural." I try to lighten the mood. He does chuckle, but I think it's not to make me feel bad. "Did Haymitch tell you what to expect, or did he offer a drink?"
"A bit of both," he actually chuckles this time, "more of the latter, but yeah."
"Good," I let out a small laugh too, "I guess a good thing about your situation is that maybe you two can help each other out."
"If she stopped treating me like a wounded puppy..." he bitterly says, shrugging.
"Yeah, well, try talk to her. Your situation is already hard as it is, dealing with it on your own... it's suicide."
He nods, so I decide to let his stylist work and go see how Katniss is doing.
"Hey there," I say once I enter the room Katniss is getting ready in.
"Hi," she says.
"How are you?" I ask, sitting on a chair.
"I've been better," she forces a smile in my direction.
"I figured," I send her a sympathetic smile in return.
I look around the studio, the atmosphere is quite cold despite the luxury, we are still in 12 after all. My eyes stop suddenly on the desk, that was pushed a little out of the way to make more room.
"That's..." I start, my throat feels tight all of a sudden, "That's a pretty rose."
I notice Katniss tensing at the observation.
Confirming my suspicion.
Snow's been here.
"Yeah," she flatly says. She turns to look at me, with a look that seems suspicious... or cautious, more likely.
I respond with a sympathetic look. Hopefully, she will understand I'm just as tense as her. She seems to, because she half smiles at me.
"It's showtime," Effie cheers, walking in.
"Break a leg," I say, hugging myself as I watch her heading to the door.
I take a deep breath and decide I need a drink, and the only person who can help me is a certain victor.
I sneak out from the back and walk to Haymitch's house.
"Haymitch?" I call as I knock at his door.
"It's open," I hear his grumpy tone from the inside, so I let myself in and look around for Haymitch.
"Oh!" He calls from the kitchen, "it's the Princess herself! To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Care to help a lady out? I need a drink,"
"Take whatever you want," he offers, taking a sip of his own drink.
I look around at the variety of bottles on display, finding my drink of choice. I take the whole bottle.
"You don't mind if I don't use a glass, do you?" I say, sitting down with him.
"Make yourself at home," he actually chuckles at that, and I soon follow after taking a big sip from the bottle.
This is what I like more about this tour, Haymitch's company. We can just sit in total silence and still be able to give each other comfort. He's one of the very few people who knows the truth behind the Princess facade, and I know about what happened to his family.
"Ready for the tour, princess?" He suddenly asks me.
"It's the only time I get to feel like my own person again, so... yeah, I'm ready," I answer with a bitter smile, "what about you?"
"It's gonna be hard for them," he simply says.
"I know," I deeply sigh, taking another big sip, "they need us... and we need them."
Haymitch just nods.
"Things are about to change," he says, almost solemnly, "better keep those eyes open."
I send him a questioning look to which he answers with a wink. Then, a knock on the door prevents him from elaborating if he even wanted to.
"Guess it's time to go," he announes, clapping his hands.
"Let the show begin," I take one last gulp before following him out and towards the train station with everyone else.
--------------
We're heading to the first stop of this journey, distric 11. I already know this particular stop is gonna be hard for my Victors, especially Katniss. I take notice of her quietness and the tension in her body as Effie keeps in rumbling about all the fabulous things this tour will provide.
"Fabulous food, fabulous wine, the massages, spa treatments." She explains, "I told them nothing but the best for my two victors. It all needs to be..."
"Fabulous?" Haymitch finishes for her with a hint of teasing in his voice, mimicking her demeanour. I try to hide my smile into my cup in tea.
"Exactly." Effie answer, not bothered by him, "Now, the schedule is a bit of a bear. 12 days, 12 districts. But it's mostly parties, celebrations, adoring fans to greet you at every stop along the way, and then wrap it up on the Capitol. All you need to do is give a few speeches, wave at the crowds, and enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it."
Oh shit.
"What did you say?" Katniss, basically, demands.
Here we go.
"Katniss." Peeta calls, trying to calm her or make her drop the subject.
"I said, 'Enjoy it, Katniss, you've earned it.'" Effie repeats.
"By killing people." Katniss scoffs and stands up to leave, ignoring Effie's weak try at scolding her.
There's silence.
"Well, isn't this a good start?" I say, holding my hand out to Haymitch, who catches on and passes me a bottle of whiskey chuckling.
I ignore Effie's glare and pour some alcohol into my tea.
My eyes lock with Peeta's, so I take the opportunity to glance at the direction Katniss went to silently telling him to go check on her. He nods and gets up to follow Katniss.
Haymitch follows him with his eyes, then turns to me.
"Are you plotting something?" He asks.
"Not at all." I simply answer, "they need to stop avoiding each other like the plague when they're not on TV. It's better to pretend to be in love with a friend than a stranger."
He simply looks at me nodding, impressed.
Effie lets out an annoyed puff and walks away.
Once she's out of the carriage, I turn towards Haymitch.
"Anything to say about my eyes?" I ask, hinting at the conversation we had back at his house.
He simply smiles and pours some more alcohol into his glass.
"Just keep 'em open, princess," he says, "wide open, guard up."
I roll my eyes, "Alright, alright. I will. Anything else you wanna share?"
"Did you hear from a certain fisherman?" Haymitch asks, instead of answering my questions.
"I don't know what you're talking about. " I say shrugging, and I take a sip from my cup.
"Mh," he hums, "isn't he the first Victor you helped train?"
"Why all these questions?" I slightly snap.
"No reason. This is the first time we get to properly bond, don't wanna waste it,"
"You want to bond?" I let out an incredulous laugh, "why?"
"I just proclaimed myself your... father figure," he opens his arms to present himself.
"Okay..." I trail off, standing up, "Whatever you say,"
I start to walk off, too, shaking my head slightly laughing.
"Oh, c'mon!" I hear him yell and laugh.
I shake my head while I'm heading to my room to rest a bit before we arrive in district 11.
As I lay on the bed, my mind can't help but wander to said fisherman.
Finnick freaking Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games.
That was my 4th time assisting the mentors in preparing the tributes for the games. At the time, Snow wanted the people to see me more involved in the making of the games since they 'love' me so much. The president saw this as an opportunity, I saw it as a punishment, having to help train tributes, some of them being my age only to see them get killed. Then the 65th Hunger Games came, and so did Finnick. We were the same age, bonding was inevitable, even though he was cautious... which was understandable, but we managed before he had to go into the arena.
When he won, I was the happiest I've ever been. Then when he came back he was changed, again, that's understandable, but he started to push me away... with no explanation.
Then we both turned 16. Then we were forced to be close again.
----------
A knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts, Haymitch's voice warning me we had arrived in district 11, and it was time to go.
We get out of the train, expecting some people celebrating and stuff like that, but nothing of sort. Effie is quick to express her disapproval.
They lead us to a car and let us in, where Effie start to explain the situation to Katniss and Peeta.
"The mayor will make some introductory remarks. And then you just have to say a few words." She says, "it's customary, of course, to give a brief eulogy to the district's fallen Tributes. For 11, that's Thresh and Rue. Here are the speeches."
Effie hands some piece of paper for them to take, I see Katniss' expression falling even more at the mention of Rue, predictable, so Peeta offers to be the one doing the talking. Katniss' grateful face almost breaks my heart, I'm... sort of used to see children die in the games, she wasn't... worst of all, she built a friendship with her.
"You got this." I say to them both, Peeta sends me a kind smile, while Katniss nods and takes a deep breath.
We arrive at the Justice Building, where we all wait for the mayor to call the Victors out.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Katnis Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"
Once they are out, we get to see them through a screen.
"Thank you," Peeta says into the microphone, while Katnis is staring at something, I can imagine it's Rue's family. "We're honoured to be here with you today. And to be with the families of your fallen Tributes."
There's a long pause, Peeta glances at the cards in his hand and... put them down...
"He put down the cards." Effie gasps.
Haymitch tries to shush her, and she slightly snaps, "Why do I bother?"
I lock eyes with Cinna, who's standing next to me, we share a questioning look before looking back at the screen.
"Though they fought and lived with honour and dignity until the end... both Thresh and Rue were so young. But our lives aren't just measured in years. They're measured I the lives of the people we touch around us. For myself, for Katniss, we know that without Rue and without Thresh, we wouldn't be standing here today." He really is a natural. "So in recognition of that, knowing that it in no way can make up for your loss, we'd like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the Tributes, every year, for the rest of out lives."
Oh, oh...
"Oh shit," Haymitch comments, and I bring a hand up to my open mouth shocked.
"Can he do that?" Cinna asks, though, I think he already knows the answer.
"He can't. But he did."
"Why doesn't he just stick to the cards?" Effie sighs.
Peeta than thanks the audience, looks at Katniss, and starts to walk back inside.
Katniss does just a few steps backwards, but she keeps staring at Rue's family.
Then, she gets closer to the microphone.
"Oh..."
"I just wanted to say I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me, but instead, he showed me mercy. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." Then her eyes are back on Rue's family, " I did know Rue. She wasn't just my allay. She was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in a Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young. Too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."
I feel my heart breaking at her words. She's right. She's too fucking right.
Before Katniss could add anything, there's a whistle coming from the crowd.
A very familiar one.
A man does the same salut Katnis did on the arena after Rue's death. Everyone in the crowd soon follows, and the Peacemakers are quick to weapon up and head towards the people, who can't do nothing but clamoring.
They're clearly pointing at the man who started it all.
As Katniss tries to get to him, to stop the Peacemakers, she is sized by two of them and forced back inside.
The man was dragged on the stage, the people are screaming, terrified. Before the doors can close we see one of the guards shoot and kill the man.
"Fuck!" I turn around, Cinna a gently rubs my back. I hear Katniss screaming and trashing around, I look back at them and see Haymitch gathering both Peeta and Katniss to follow him, he nods at mw to do the same and I do.
Once we are out of sight and ears Haymitch just snaps.
"You two have a very simple task." He scolds them, angry.
"I never meant for anyone to get killed," Katnis cries, "he has to know that."
"What are you talking about? Who has to know what?" Haymitch asks.
Snow...
"Snow. He came to see me. He's worried about rebellion in the districts. He thinks that they don't believe our love story," she explains, breathless.
I run my hand through my hair, frustrated.
"So he wants you to make them believe it? Does he thinks it will calm this shit down?" I ask and Katnis nods.
"You know, Katniss, you should told me that before I went put there, and tried to give these people the money." It's Peeta's turn to snap.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. He threatened to kill my family." She explains.
"Well, I have family, too" He replies, almost annoyed at her, "Okay? People that I need to protect."
"What about them? Who protect them?" Haymitch pressures.
I shake my head, still shocked and still infuriated.
"Katniss, what were you thinking?" Haymitch keeps going.
"I was thinking about Rue. Haymitch, please... please, just help me get through this trip. Please just help us get through this." Katniss begs, crying even more.
"This trip? Girl, wake up." He snaps his fingers to emphasise his words, "this trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train. You two are mentors now. That means that every year, they're gonna drag you out, and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year, your private life becomes theirs. From now on, your job is to be a distraction so people forget what the real problems are." He explains perfectly the 'life of a victor', it's so true it's nauseating.
"So what do we do?" Peeta asks, already composed him.
"You're gonna smile," I say, "stick to the cards Effie put effort into. And be the happy, forever in love couple the Capitol thinks you are... you'll get used to it." I say the last part with a heavy heart, knowing they don't deserve it. No one does.
Haymitch brings Katniss is for a hug, trying to reassure her, I squeeze Peeta's arm.
"We'll help you."
Peeta gives me a grateful smile, then they both take a deep breath and we all head back down.
"Eyes open, princess." Haymitch whispers to me, gently patting my back. I, again, look at him confused and just keep on following everyone back to the train.
And sticked to the cards they did.
----------
I feel like I can't breathe, I'm constricted, I can't move.
I look up and see the blue-haired guy on top of me, he's probably enjoying my terrified expression, because he smirks, he shushes me as if he's dealing with a child. He thinks he's being sweet and reassuring, while he's the complete opposite.
I try to push him away, in vain. It's like moving a wall... yet he's not that much bigger...
"Sshh, sweetie... it's okay, I'll take care of you." He says, caging me in even more.
I attempt to move back, but he's faster, he opens my legs with his in one quick motion.
----------
I wake up, shaking and panting. My heart is beating so fast I'm sure it's going to explode. I shake my head.
"Just a nightmare, just a nightmare," I keep repeating to myself like a mantra.
I get up from the bed and head to the bathroom where I wash my face to wake me up more. I look at my reflection and again I repeat that it was just a nightmare.
I get dressed, I figure there's no point in going back to sleep, I don't think I would be able too, so I exit my room and head to the restaurant car where I find Haymitch. Not so surprising.
He looks up as soon as he hears me, his expression almost asleep, but when his eyes meet mine, his expression turns into a worried one.
I sadly smile at him as I sit next to him, the car is still quiet dark except for the dim light coming from a small lamp next to him.
"Who was it this time?" He asks, he's trying to not make it look like it bothers him, but I know he's worried.
"The general's son," I say monotonously.
"Aah," he sighs, "the one with blue hair?"
"Yep."
"The loyal one." He nods to himself.
"The very one, the first too." I sigh, leaning back in the armchair. "The asshole thinks that just because we 'lost it' together means he owns me."
"Was that his first time too?" I know he wants to laugh at him, but he keeps it too himself, this time.
"Yap. His father thought it was 'right about time' so he talked to Snow, who, oh so kindly, accepted. Next thing I know I'm treated like a present. Everytime he achieved something big, his dad paid for my company, every birthday too." I sigh again, more deeply, bouncing my leg anxiously. "When he got a job, I was with him. Every month."
Haymitch takes a deep breath and hands me a bottle, which I gladly accept taking a big swig from it. He then takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly, then lets go.
"He got daddy's job."
"Oh yeah. He couldn't do anything without daddy's power," I scoff out a laugh, Haymitch does too.
We, then, keep silent until it's time for everybody to come I'm and have breakfast and get ready for the final stop.
The Capitol.
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deonsx · 4 months
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If They Become A Girl Dad
Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Atsushi, Akutagawa
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Dazai Osamu
God! I can imagine him in complete joy. Being the father of a girl made him much more exciting than being the father of a boy. The reason is that he always wants to protect his little princess. Father and daughter dress the same and often go shopping for his daughter
He will definitely spoil your daughter and if you try to stop him, you will be the bad cop.. He will be the one who gets her ready for school in the morning, while you will prepare her bag. While braiding your daughter's hair, you laugh when you realize how complex Dazai's mind is, "Honey! Braiding hair, I need help with this!" "Yes, mom and dad can't do it, my hair is tangled, please" While your daughter is complaining about her father, poor dazai is only trying to communicate with him more
"My beautiful daughters, I am lucky to have you... I have a duty to protect you”
Chuuya Nakahara
He shows off his Cooking skills to your daughter and manages to impress your daughter every time. He is a hero in your daughter's eyes, but the problem is that your daughter...is in love with your husband much more than you. "Dad, I love you more than my mother~!" Chuuya laughs and looks at you, "Look, your mother says she loves me more, even though~" Your boyfriend kisses his daughter as if he's teasing you
he takes your daughter out on trips all the time, and to be honest, he is a real trick when it comes to mothering her. he can take care of your child for hours, days, weeks, even when you are not around and working overtime at work. He will try to entertain her with his powers. I can imagine him rocking your daughter to sleep on his lap. He buys your daughter clothes from the most expensive brands and dresses her like Barbie. Your daughter and Chuu look so much alike that there would never even be a possibility of suspicion
“You can't understand how it feels to have two angels belong to me”
Fyodor Dostoyevski
He is definitely a difficult person and the fact that he now has a daughter really makes him a more difficult father figure. His daughter is a complete copy of him, her hair and eyes are purple, I know that Fyodor will not be a very careless father, on the contrary, he really cares about her very much, mostly the fact that he does not have time to care does not make him a careless father. He always has his eyes on his daughter and is busy protecting her.
If you leave them alone, it is possible, although very rare, to witness them playing games with their daughter. Usually, they play the Barbie house game together as a result of her daughter's insistence. Fyodor agrees not to talk because instead of these games, he prefers to teach her new hobbies such as chess, piano and violin. He is a very disciplined father, he is still with his daughter during her high school years. he stays (to keep her away from men) he's a jealous father he just can't say it
"I'm the only man in your life, your father, you won't need anyone else"
Nikolai Gogol
He is a total entertainer, he does his best to entertain his daughter. Your daughter has long white hair and deep blue eyes, a snow-white skin, and it is certain that she inherited all her genes from Nikolay. She starts braiding your daughter's hair at the very beginning of the morning and they spend hours together. Even your daughter's first word is "pa~pa!~" You and Nikolai looked at each other and were shocked. "My dear girl!!!!~~" Your lover is capable of being both a mother and a father to him and you didn't realize this until you had a child
Your child loves to do magic tricks! You don't have to wake up at night because Nikolai gives your child all the sleep back in 1 minute with his talent, you don't even have to get out of bed, he always dresses his daughter like a royal princess when shopping for clothes, he buys the most expensive jewels (even though she is still small, she has a lot of diamonds), her daughter's taste attracted her father and They eat their favorite meals together. Whatever her father wants to eat, she wants it too
"You're not jealous of us spending so much time with my daughter, are you? Remember...I'm yours."
Atsushi Nakajima
He is a really worried father, sometimes he even forgets that he is a father and becomes a child, it is possible that you will feel like you have 2 children because you cannot get out of this cycle in the general period of time... Atsushi really likes to introduce everything to your daughter, he takes her to the agency on the days when you are busy and tired. It mostly saves you from a tiring day. He spends all his time with her in the mornings and your daughter doesn't look like you, she is a complete copy of her father, her eyes are a mixture of sain and purple, she reminds of autumn, her hair shifts from white to blonde and her naughty mistakes are the same as her father's.
He is always protecting you and your daughter. Now he has 2 lives to protect. He cried the first time when he learned that your baby would be a girl. I can imagine him kneeling down on his knees and crying with happiness, thinking about what kind of a daughter he will be. "I-I will be a father! And the father of a girl!!" There was a huge celebration when he shouted this news to the agency, "My father is a tiger!" Your daughter was constantly bragging about her father and trying to convince her friends that he was a tiger
"Oh, did my darling daughter and wife miss me? Because I missed them”
Akutagawa Ryunosuke
He is a father who really has a hard time showing his emotions, but when it comes to his daughter, everything disappears for him. If you see him talking to his daughter, you will feel like you don't know him at all. He likes to play with your little daughter and teach her new words. His first word is "rasomon" He entertains your daughter by showing her his talent. rasomon is at your daughter's disposal. They go on shopping trips with his father but of course his father can't take care of him alone, so he can't help but call you. "I think I still have a lot to learn from you, s/o" Unlike other fathers, Akutagawa is uneasy and is still trying to overcome his inferiority complex left over from Dazai. Of course, everything is better with you painted too white
Even though he had a hard time expressing his feelings when he found out you were going to have a daughter, he gave you a reassuring smile and held your hand "I'm with you" he always reassured you and as you now rocked your daughter in his arms these memories ran through your mind, Akutagawa definitely described his child about Dazai, your daughter strangely doesn't like dazai
"You're the one who helped me erase the darkness in my heart... don't leave me s/o..."
Enjoy!
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astrologydayz · 6 months
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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES3
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MARS CONJUNCT JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show a great deal of sexual chemistry between 2 people! Sometimes a little2 great?? It can shift at times, love. Sex can be a daily thing here! Jupiter encourages Mars competitiveness, and Mars leans on Jupiter4support/wisdom or just their "happy, go lucky" attitude. They can really enjoy being out together, instead of just staying home. Can sometimes end up doing wild/stupid things 2gether, because they don’t know their limits - UNLESS some serious Saturn/Cap is involved ofc. Look at sign/s/&house/s 2 c how this conjunction exactly plays out!
MARS SQUARE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show sexual attraction yes, but it will cause a loooot of friction. Jupiter being very "U know I'm always right", & the Mars person coming with 40 reasons why the Jupiter person is not right. Endless battle of different beliefs, not coming2an agreement. Jupiter "knows best", &Mars won't “put up with it”. Jupiter can "belittle" Mars, with their "preaching" a lot. Can also show different sexual preferences later in the relationship. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2 be better than Mars, &why Mars won't let Jupiter take a win.
MARS OPPOSITE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show chemistry - AT FIRST. The Jupiter person loves to provoke the Mars person - make them go loca/make them feel like there's something wrong with them over the smallest things&Mars acts out by getting mad or aggressive. Can also show that they have different needs, when it comes 2 sexual things after a little while - what they want, need, how they go about it etc. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2test/play games with the Mars person &why Mars can't use their "higher mind" instead of acting out
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Look at your Chiron persona chart 2 c what kind of hurt you've been through/will go through.  Let's say u have SUN CONJUNCT IC IN PISCES in this chart, then that shows us that your father has/father figure/s/ have hurt u VERY deeply, when u were/are at home with them. They would/will hurt u with their "drinking”/"drugs", or "unrealistic expectations" (Pisces). It can also be that your dad wasn't even around/gone a lot, & that's the "scar". It follows u throughout your life, even when it's in your persona chart.
🤍  SUN SQUARE/QUINCUNX MOON in this chart, causes a scar between the way u express your pain through your ego - Sun, and how u really want your pain 2 be seen with your Moon/how u emotionally seek to feel comfortable with showing your pain. They don't work together, before u finally learn how 2 live with whatever self expression you're meant to have. Internal fights with yourself because again, you show your pain one way (through your sun), but that's not the way your moon feels content/safe showing your pain, when it squares your Moon.
SUN TRINE MOON in this chart can have an easy time "healing" their Chiron with the way they express themselves (Sun), and with how they find a balance between pain and healing. They can even help other people, because of their ease, 2 find a way 2 stay sane, while going through pain - (Trine). But as I always say. I don't believe u ever "fully" heal your Chiron, so ofc it's not always good with this aspect either. Chiron is pain, and most people do not heal their Chiron. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
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I’ve already said this on my old blog, but if you’re interested in seeing your husband/Wife - future husband/wife = LOOK AT YOUR GROOM ASTEROID - 5129 PERSONA CHART/BRIEDE ASTEROID - 19029 PERSONA CHART JUNO PERSONA CHART shows the people u truly commit 2 here in life - people who doesn't want 2 marry - their folks shows up here<33 - it also shows u how, & what u need 2 commit<33. Look at ADRASTEA asteroid - 239 PERSONA CHART 2c the traumas u couldn't escape/can’t escape. If you're a WOMAN, & a man has/or men have caused u trauma/sexual trauma, please look at your LILITH PERSONA CHART - 1181).
Look at ABUNDANTIA asteroid - 151) PERSONA CHART 2 c how, &where you receive abundance/where you’re “lucky”. Look at your ANGEL asteroid - 11911) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you're the most "protected"/where people can't fuck with u. It also shows u your "job” here - “contracts” you’ve made, before coming here. Look at your MONY asteroid - 7782) PERSONA CHART 2c where u can make a buck/Where u will, or won't have problems with making/getting money. Look at your JACK LONDON asteroid - 2625) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you'll get the biggest “wtf, is this really happening to me, moments”. Good or bad.
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MARS CONJUNCT/SQUARE/QUINCUNX NEPTUNE can show a person doing drugs💊/getting high🍁/or drinking a lot🥃. Can love getting high/drunk, bc they love getting away from "reality"/loves "being in their own world". Hating being "present" here&now. "Reality sucks sometimes"💋. VENUS OPPOSITE ASC/CONJUNCT DSC typically gets very beautiful romantic partners throughout life, & experiences very loving relationships/marriages. They themselves can also be very loving towards their close partnerships - business relationships even/or just towards their very close ones - like lovers/close friends or family members. Relationships with models/artistic/entertaining/or creative people = something u see very often here2. They don't really like to fight/argue with the ones they hold close, but would rather just be in loving relations. Unless Venus is afflicted, ofc.
JUPITER CONJUNCT NEPTUNE usually has some top dollar insights into what the fuck we're doing here. They get "downloads", without them knowing exactly why they suddenly know something/they just know they're right in their belief/s. They can be really into spirituality, "mystical things", & "things people won't always believe in". Can be quite “protected” from somewhere2. People can also feel "small" next 2 this individual, cuz they're typically seen as this "larger than life" person. "Lucky2be around them".
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THANKS4READING LOVE!!!
APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS🖤.
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howtofightwrite · 1 month
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Is it possible for a character who is 18cm shorter and not as muscled as their opponent to pin said opponent to the ground in a few calculated moves? Both characters are fit and exercise regularly, but the shorter character has trained in various martial arts (with and without weapons) and the taller one is more proficient in sword duelling. My intent is to write a sparring scene where the shorter character humbles the (overconfident) taller one. Any specific martial arts I should look at?
So... being shorter doesn't matter. In fact, in this situation, it is an advantage.
I'm going to point out here that if you're not careful, your character that you want to have a badass moment is going to look like an complete asshole because they are humiliating another character who they actually are better than. If they haven't been trading off humiliations to build tension (safely so no one gets hurt) then you're going to have a lopsided “sparring” session. Or, you will, if you haven't been building up your narrative to support the humbling. (And there is a lot that goes into these scenes to make them work, which, if you're not familiar with how martial arts training works then you'll approach it from the wrong mindset and hit Starke's pet peeve.)
Let's hit the ground running with the high points:
Sparring is not dueling.
Sparring is not play fighting.
Sparring is not so you can humiliate your opponent.
Sparring is not about fighting anyone or anything.
Sparring is a training exercise so that both of you can work on improving specific techniques.
Do people in real life get carried away sparring? Yes, they do. Are they complete competitive idiots about it? Yes, they are. Do they get punished for it? Absolutely, they do. This is especially true where they'll be expected to put their lives on the line. Treating violence like a game is detrimental, and leaves the trainee ill-prepared for dealing with real danger when in the field. Make no mistake, that is exactly the mindset you are describing in this question. Your characters (at least your minor ones, the trainers in this situation if your leads are too young or too dumb to comprehend their reality) should care about stomping this attitude out. And you as the author should to. Why? Because if you don't take the violence in your narrative seriously neither will your audience.
There are rules, as a writer it's imperative you establish the rules (and there no rules means you haven't established them for violence in your setting and therefore won't be able to establish the baseline that can be built upon later) and one of the rules is that you're not going to spar someone with a weapon (wood or otherwise) unless you both have weapons. There's not a lot of value in having one character spar with a weapon and one spar without one unless it's a knife, and the point is learning the dangers of knife fighting. And knives make sense because they are in the same distance range as fists. Swords are in a completely separate distance category. They are mid-range weapons.
You don't practice disarms by sparring, you practice disarms by practicing disarms in a controlled setting where you're repeating the motion over and over. Can you humiliate a person by being good at practice disarms? Yes. You do it by being a complete dick. It also requires the character in question to be better at the moves in question than the other character performing them because they need to be able to confidently, or at least believe they can, counter the other person's growing anger while taking the move a step further or two than they're supposed to. It also means they can get away with it without arousing the suspicions of their instructor (or act with their instructors approval) and no one gets hurt. (We hope.) For a character to do this is a sign of overconfidence, FYI. As is trying to humiliate someone in a sparring session. The characters that are good enough? They don't do it.
In fiction, good sparring scenes serve one real purpose. They establish a baseline of skill in safe setting so the audience becomes comfortable only for that to be disrupted and thrown into chaos when the characters encounter real violence. There's two paths for this. Either the character is a big winner only to be brutally beaten later, or they get dumped on their ass to find that they're actually much better prepared than they thought later when it matters. That's why so many stories with these scenes dump their MC on their ass, especially in any Wuxia or Shounen manga. This is because the authors of these stories understand that sparring has no reflection on how well a person will do when they're allowed out of the training safe space. If your baseline is: my character is awesome. Then it's all downhill from that point on.
Say it with me, Losses Create Tension. If your character is winning all the time, you have no tension and your fight scenes will be boring. The goal when it comes to creating a character who is good at fighting is to make other characters look better. Or, from an antagonistic/mentor point they exist to establish the height our MCs must eventually reach/how much further they have to go in their journey. Kakashi's fight with Zabuza or the first fight between Itachi and Sasuke in Naruto are both great examples of how to do this well.
I'm not saying you can't write a sparring scene like the one you intend. I can't tell you to do anything, what I want to you to start doing is considering the implications of the scene, what it may say about your world and characters that you didn't intend, and it's overall impact on the whole of your narrative. Narrative gratification here is work you'll need to do to build back your tension later. Is it a win your MC can afford?
Now, you can look at any martial art that has a ground fighting component for what you want to do unless you're planning on having the duelist spar with their sword. If you want that, you're going to have to do a lot more work with a smaller pool. This will be doubly true if your characters are of European descent and you want to avoid the East Asian martial art styles.
Type: “how do you knock your opponent off balance?” into Google and you'll find a lot of variations.
The basic concept behind putting someone on the ground isn't strength, it's balance. The key is disrupting your opponent's balance. If you're skilled enough or your opponent's footwork is bad enough, it can be done in a single move. In fact, it can be done a variety of different ways from a variety of different moves from countless different martial arts. The question isn't can it be done, the question is how does your character want to do it? The fact they are short only helps them because their center of gravity will be lower than their opponent's, they don't have to work as hard to maintain their balance, their stance doesn't have to be as deep, and they will have an easier time knocking a taller person over. Most people who've never practiced martial arts have no idea how foundational the footwork is or how important the feet are to staying upright.
I personally like reviewing Silat for studying balance, not necessarily for techniques, but because I find their instruction on the concept easy to grasp/digest. They do the string on the top of the head and the balance triangle, which if you can wrap your mind around that you'll be able to conceptualize fight scenes where the character focuses on knocking an opponent off balance better. 
The above is a more advanced video, but if you have no martial arts background or even a sports background whatsoever then you want to aim for instructional videos that focus on concepts over techniques. The advice is always write what you know and if you don't know learn. Copying techniques onto the page won't create a great fight scene. Understanding the concept, philosophy, and basic body mechanics behind the techniques will get you much further. None of them are stand ins for real experience or doing it yourself. If you really want to be good at it, find a martial art you like, find a school nearby, and invest the time.
All of your characters' martial arts moves (whether they are dueling with a sword or fighting hand to hand) function around the body's center of gravity. Your center of gravity is slightly above your hips and in your core muscles i.e your abdominal muscles. They will be trained so maintaining their balance is second nature. When martial artists talk about overextending, they're talking about putting your weight past your balance point which puts you in danger of losing your balance/falling over or being grabbed, kicked, etc and getting thrown, tripped, or forced into a fall. This can happen when you're throwing a punch, doing a kick, lunging with your sword, or doing any other sort of movement. You end up in a position where your balance between your front and back leg is destabilized, which creates the opening for your opponent to throw you. Or when you fall over on the ice, because that happens too.
Some other martial arts to turn to:
Judo
Jiu Jutsu
Aikido
Baguazhang (Seen in Avatar the Last Airbender as the basis for Air Bending)
Tai Chi Chuan
Northern Shaolin
Taekwondo (if you want to do it via kicks, all kicking martial arts innately focus on balance)
Krav Maga
Ninjutsu
The list goes on.
I also recommend dipping your toes into live action martial arts flicks to start getting yourself accustomed to more complex choreography. This is getting yourself out of the animated space (like in anime) and into the space where you have to watch a live person perform the techniques. Asian cinema has a different choreography style than the US does, because there are different cultural expectations. Overall, the choreography is more intricate and they break the action down a lot more (as opposed to American media where they zoom out to cover for the stunt double.) It's easier to see how the bodies are working and they put a lot more focus on destabilizing balance as part of the fight sequences. Hollywood doesn't get into the weird martial arts shit unless it's an actual martial arts action film. You can also do an Avatar the Last Airbender/Legend of Korra deep dive because the action there is also usually on point, but I'm a proponent of going to the source when you want to learn something. So, you know watch Alchemy of Souls instead.
-Michi
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happiest-hotch · 1 year
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Mother's Day
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Summary: Jack has a very important, surprise gift to give you on a special holiday for your inaugural celebrations together
Paring: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Fluff)
WC: 1.4k
Whenever he can, Aaron leaves work early to get Jack. Thankfully, with Strauss's return, he's not still stuck doing two jobs, so he finishes his work in time to get Jack from school. You also love when he has days like that because it means he'll cook something delicious and homemade, maybe even dessert if Jack has anything to say about it.
Jack gets into the car like any other day, but what he says isn't the typical comment about his day or request for an afternoon activity. "Did you know it's Mother's Day this weekend?" Jack asks.
Aaron's heart clenches in his chest. Mother's Days, birthdays, Christmases, and the anniversary of Haley's death are all especially hard days for Jack, and Aaron tries his best to support his son. "Do you want to talk about mom?" He asks softly as he drives. Since Jack doesn't remember a lot of it, Aaron fills in the blanks and answers the questions.
"No, I might want to talk to her tonight, but I want to get a present," Jack explains.
Aaron frowns a little but accepts it. "We can do that. What do you want to get her?"
Jack's thinking face looks like his dad's, something you were the first to point out to Aaron. "I don't know." He admits. "You always get roses for Y/n so maybe I can get her flowers?"
That really throws Aaron, and it rapidly occurs to him that he and Jack aren't talking about the same person. "You want to get a present for Y/n?" He clarifies.
Jack shifts uncomfortably in his car seat, clearly nervous at his father's reaction. "I'm sorry. Is that wrong?"
Aaron can't shake his head fast enough. "No. No, of course not, buddy." He assures his son, reaching back with one hand to touch the boy's foot for extra reassurance. "I think she'd really like that. What made you think you want to get something for her?" He tries to ask it in a non-judgemental, casual tone.
"Well, in class, we were all talking about what we love about our moms, and a lot of the things that my friends were talking about are things that Y/n does for me." He explains, and Aaron feels his heart clench in the best way that time while he bites down a wide smile. "Mom is still my mom, and I'm not forgetting how she used to do those things for me, but Y/n is there for me too."
Aaron notices what he's emphasizing, and he's immensely proud of Jack for being able to express those feelings, understanding that appreciating his mom and recognizing your role in his life aren't mutually exclusive.
Then he's thinking about you as he absorbs the confession. And how lucky he is to have you. You have been a constant source of support and love, a beacon of hope and stability in the wake of their family tragedy, never anything but good to them. He feels so much joy and a tiny bit of sadness. He knows Haley would have loved you and appreciated how much you care for Jack, but he wishes she was there to see it.
He's choked up as he goes to speak. "Jack, that's very sweet of you, and I think, no, I know, Y/n feels the same way about you. She thinks you're the most amazing kid ever."
Jack smiles softly. "She does? Really?"
Aaron can't nod fast enough. "Yes, she always tells me how great she thinks you are."
"So we can get her a gift for her?" Jack confirms, looking hopeful.
"Absolutely." Aaron agrees, taking a right turn to the mall rather than a left to their home. "Whatever you want."
~
It's been such a long week of work and Saturday mornings are Jack's soccer games, so as soon as your Saturday movie night is over, you're fast asleep next to Aaron.
Like usual, he stirs beside you first on Sunday morning, but when you go to get up with him, he softly whispers for you to go back to sleep and that's very easy to do.
When you next wake up, the sun is creeping through the blinds at a different angle, signaling that you slept in for longer than you usually would.
There's a soft knock at the bedroom door before you can properly wake up and get out of bed, and you softly call out for who you expect to be Jack to come in.
You're right in your guess that it's Jack, who quickly jumps up onto the bed with you, followed by his father who has a breakfast tray with a big vase of flowers on it accompanying a delicious-looking plate of French toast.
"Wow, you've both been busy this morning." You mumble sleepily as you sit up to hug Jack who's jumping into your arms.
"Happy Mother's Day!" He cheers joyfully, and you're taken off guard by the greeting, completely shocked.
Your eyes dart to Aaron's to make sure you heard Jack correctly, and his wide smile confirms you have. He's looking between you both with so much love and tenderness, his heart so full it feels like it's bursting.
Your eyes fill with tears as you realize the enormity of what he's just said. "Thank you, Jack." You squeeze him even tighter in a hug, not wanting him to slip away from this perfect moment.
He pulls back and smiles at you before turning back to his dad. "Can we give it to her?" He asks.
"Sure, bud." Aaron agrees, setting the tray down over the top of your legs. He sits near the foot of the bed while Jack snuggles into your side.
Jack reaches forward to pick up the little box next to the breakfast. "Here." He hands it to you. "Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for caring so much about me."
You kiss his forehead, holding him tighter to his side as you gladly accept his thoughtful and unexpected gift. "You're very welcome. I love you, Jackers."
Whatever he has for you has to be jewelry from the small, flat shape of the box and the designer jewelry stamp. You open it up, and your heart melts more, if it were possible. What's inside is a gorgeous gold bracelet with a flat, circular charm, engraved with the letter J.
Jack touches it as your finger does. "It's a J for Jack."
You nod so you don't start crying too much. You're so overwhelmed by gratitude and happiness that you can't help but let one tear slip out.
"Thank you." You finally get the words out. "It's perfect and I love it so much. I'm going to wear it every day, so you're always with me."
Jack's grinning a proud grin, clearly proud of himself for picking it out. Aaron had told him how much you would love it, but seeing it confirms it for him. "I think it'll look beautiful on you." He tells you adorably.
You chuckle a little. "You're a sweet talker just like your dad, you know?"
Aaron laughs next to you, but Jack's confused at what your compliment means, and his attention is drawn elsewhere. "Daddy and I made French toast for me as well. Oh, and I got you flowers."
It's a gorgeous bunch of flowers, beautiful colors, and lovely smells. "Thank you so much. Both of you." You repeat to them, making sure they're feeling the reciprocated love you're feeling.
"You're welcome," Jack says politely.
Aaron leans over to kiss your forehead. "I love you." He whispers.
You whisper it back before looking back at your breakfast plate. "There's a lot of French toast here, so I might need some help eating it." You say suspiciously, looking between Jack and Aaron.
Jack's eyes light up like he's been waiting for you to offer him some of it, and you can't blame him, it looks and smells like restaurant quality and you know breakfast foods are Aaron's strong suit cooking-wise.
"I am kind of hungry." Jack agrees, smirking at you softly.
"Eat up then, bud." You say, offering him the first spoonful. "We've got lots of fun stuff to do today."
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prettyoatmeal · 6 months
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Shouldn't Have Shared (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Following up my previous post LOL. This is also not proof read, I was listing to a documentary and listening to music in the background of writing. I didn't intend for this to be so long, but I kinda got lost in writing this.
GENRE: Smut
Summary: 'CAUTION! Do not share or this man will appear in your room!' is what the post said. Of course, it was just a hoax.. wasn't it? Sharing it to feed into your obsession for this fictional man from a video game, you're woken up to a pleasant surprise.
Warnings: Unprotected sex, creampie, overly possessive Ghost, primal, mentions of claiming and ruining.
Word Count: 1009
NSFW UNDER CUT
Masterlist here!
***************
Rustle... rustle, rustle...
Stirring in your sleep, you could feel something was.. off. You felt the air tensing around you, becoming hyperaware of your breathing and heartbeat as you began to wake up from your slumber. Opening your eyes and rubbing the sleep from them, you turned away from the wall only to see the shadow of a large man staring right down at you. Your life almost flashed before your eyes.
Feeling your heart stop, you let a loud shriek of terror at the unexpected silhouette. Sitting up quickly, you push yourself to the corner of your bed, your body working on autopilot as you pegged one of your stuffed animals at him.
You could see the little stuffy you threw bouncing off from his chest, hearing him chuckling under his breath.
"Gonna take a lot more than a stuffed lamb to take me out."
You'd recognise that voice from anywhere.
Holy shit.
Turning on the lamp of your bedside table, you finally got a look at the mystery man standing at the edge of your bed. Eyes adjusting to the light, your eyes widened at the realisation.
"Easy, love, no need to be frightened. It's just me. You know who I am, don't you?" Taking another step, he bent over and leaned his palms into the plush edge of your bed, allowing you to get a closer look at him.
Hmm, blond eyelashes. Cute. Full gear... hot. You nodded, swallowing. He was so much bigger in person. Over a screen you couldn't properly picture yourself next to him, but now that he was up close, it was jarring.
"Good, of course you do."
Slowly, he crouched down and picked up the soft toy, throwing it back next to you. Hearing his voice in person, you couldn't help but shudder as you stared in awe. He was so close, so close to you. If this was going to end in any of the ways you've fantasised about, it was going to end with-
"Tell me, sweetheart, did my character on a screen do me justice, or am I even more striking in person?" he smirked, his voice lingering with an arrogance which would make you gag if it were any other man.
He was real... and damned cocky too.
You hadn't said any words yet, and he noticed your silence, his head tilting as he was almost kneeling on your bed at this point.
"Answer me, lovie."
"Yes."
"You're good at listening, aren't you?" He continued, his voice low in just the right way to send a shiver down your spine. "Now tell me something else, you've always wanted more than just pixels on a screen. You've played the game, you've fantasised, you've shared."
Fuck.
"Fuckin' cheeky for sharing that knowing I'd come find ya, and now I'm here to give you what your imagination can't. Would you want that, lovie?"
Fuck.
You swallowed, hard. The air charged with a palpable energy. It felt as if the room was closing in on you two, the erotic tension flooding the air around you as you felt yourself becoming warmer. While you felt your fluster, your fantasies in turn were becoming more and more real by the second.
God, you wanted this. You needed this.
"Yes."
___
"Quit squirming, damn it."
Your eyes were rolled back. His hand was over your mouth, muffling your pathetic whines. You couldn't risk waking up the house, could you?
Your body pinned down against your bed, his clothed chest against your back. Slamming into you at an ungodly speed with sloppy noised, it was everything you'd dreamed about.
"I said," he started, pulling your hips up with his free hand with a grasp tight enough to bruise, angling every thrust which made you lose your mind, "quit squirming."
It was hard to not drool over his palm, the unholy echo of skin slapping together made you pray that no one else would wake up to hear it.
"Ghost-" you managed to moan out his callsign, muffled against his palm.
"Fuck, baby. Keep quiet f' me." he almost whimpered, his face getting lost and buried in your neck as he nipped and kissed at the soft skin. "Can't have- mmh - ye' waking the others up, can you?"
You were barely able to shake your head, this goddamn hunk of a man keeping you under his weight as he rearranged your insides.
"Sweet girl, how long have you thought about this? Touchin' yourself to the thought of me, now coming into y' room like this and using you like you've wanted." His voice came out as a growl, right against your hear and giving you goosebumps.
One night stands were never your thing, but you could for sure keep this going with him. With your walls clenching around him, your went blurry with tears as your eyes threatened to flutter closed.
His filthy words wavered, his voice breaking as he became increasingly desperate himself.
"Finally been given a taste and this wet cunt is just sucking me in."
With his cock hitting that spongey spot inside you, you tensed under him as you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly. Only a few more thrusts and with a muffled cry, you were coming undone, gushing around him. The feeling only made him whine more as you clamped down on him so deliciously, his hips slamming against your ass were now on borderline primal.
"I'll give you what you want, y're all mine, fuck."
With a final grunt against your neck, you felt the warmth of his cum filling you to the brim. Though, he was so deep inside you that there was no where for his release to go but seep out of you. His his heavy breaths mixed with growls, he removed his hand from your mouth and helped to flip you over.
Pulling you almost down to the edge of your bed, you were put into a mating press, barely comprehending it in your post-orgasm haze.
"We're not done yet. Sweet girl, I'm going to ruin you."
***************
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH
I'VE JUST GRADUATED
CHEERS
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atinystraynstay · 1 month
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Guardian Angel - Jeon Wonwoo
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Synopsis: Wonwoo is a mysterious individual. Not that he tried to be, but he always had his guard up. He didn't want to fall casualty to a world that could turn so cold. Can you be the one person that finds the secret passage into his world?
Pairing: College Student!Jeon Wonwoo x fem. reader
Genre: "I'm here for you" girl meets "I'm not good at opening up" boy
Inspired by @aaniag - thanks for tagging me in this post ♡ cannot wait to bring all of these into reality First Encounters Mini Series: #1: #2: #3: #4: Wonwoo #5: Jeonghan #6: #7: #8: Dino
Warnings: mentions alcohol consumption
Word Count: 3.7k
Being friends with Kim Mingyu came with a lot of perks. You always had an invite to the biggest parties on campus, knew someone who could walk you home when you had a bit too much to drink, and a constant study partner who would bring coffee to the study sessions.
On the outside, it is easy to assume you and Mingyu were a couple. And you knew one day, Mingyu would make a woman very happy. I mean, he was the poster child of what it means to be a Golden Retriever Boyfriend.
Yet, you have never been attracted to Mingyu like that. Of course, he treated you like royalty, but in some ways, he was showing you the way you deserved to be treated. Mingyu was always the one to give you dating and relationship advice, which was extremely helpful given he was able to give the male perspective. And vice versa, you were always there to hype up and encourage Mingyu to go after women he found attractive. Despite the confidence he exudes, he was a rather shy individual.
Your friendship with Mingyu was a prized possession in your life, and you never wanted to do something to risk. Even though you had a crush on his best friend, Jeon Wonwoo.
Unlike Mingyu, you knew next to nothing about Wonwoo. You often saw him every now and then when he was out with Mingyu, but the two of you never seemed to exchange words. There was just something about him that lured you in.
And you were hoping tonight would be the opportunity to change that.
For the past few weeks, you have been trying to gather intel on Wonwoo. Most of the time when you hung out with Mingyu, you asked about his best friend. It didn't take long for the giant man to put the puzzle pieces together. Instantly, Mingyu devised a plan to try to get his two favorite people together.
Midterms would be coming to an end on Friday, and he knew everyone would want to come out and celebrate. Rather than going to the bars, Mingyu suggested he hosted a house party filled with his closest friends. Both so everyone could be comfortable and enjoy themselves, but also so Wonwoo might open up more during the party. He wasn't the type of guy who preferred going out on the weekends. Often, his weekends were filled with either studying or playing video games. Mingyu was almost certain that a house party could get his introverted best friend to come out of his room.
After sending different outfit options to Mingyu, and each text was responded with "looks good," you decided on a black jeans and a black, long-sleeved crop top. You wore gold jewelry for the comparison, but also decided to wear your hair down for now. You did keep a white scrunchie around your wrist, in case you or someone else might need it throughout the night.
Your goal was to look presentable, but not too over the top. It was a house party, after all. Tonight would be a great opportuntiy not just to hang out with friends you haven't seen in a while, but also maybe know Wonwoo on a deeper level. While yes, you did like him, you were unsure of where his mind was at. Even Mingyu was clueless on Wonwoo's love life as it was a topic rarely they engaged in. Being friends with Wonwoo could always be the start.
With a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Berry Lemonade held by your hip, your free hand knocked on the door. You could already hear music and chatter coming from inside. Growing out of hopping from frat house to frat house, house parties were becoming more of your comfort zone. Maybe that's what it meant to be an upperclassman?
"Hi Barbie!" "Hi Ken!"
Mingyu quickly retrieved one of the bottles from you, making your load lighter. You could have managed carrying both, but that was Mingyu just being himself. He wrapped his free arm around you to pull you into a hug. "Woah, you're wearing perfume tonight? Must really want to impress someone."
Quickly, you pulled back from the embrace and slapped his chest. Your eyes narrowed on him before he broke out into a fit of laughter. Yeah, Mingyu definitely was not your boyfriend.
"You do look great though, y/n!" "Not half bad yourself, Gyu," you laughed.
The two of you ventured into the kitchen after closing the door. Mingyu's parties never got too crazy. He always knew who was invited, and it was always known nobody else unless an invite was extended by Mingyu himself or you asked if you could bring someone along with you. He just never liked the unpredictability of strangers entering his home. Wonwoo and him also despised the clean-up afterwards too when people didn't respect their home. That was one way to never get invited again.
Upon entering the kitchen, you were greeted with cheers. Both from the guys invested in the game of Flip Cup but also by the ones that noticed you. Seungkwan, Dino, and Hoshi were all grinning at you. Currently, it seemed like Seungcheol and Joshua were going head-to-head in a match with Dokyeom and Jeonghan waiting there turn. Vernon, Minghao, Jun, and Woozi were all spectating. All that was missing was Wonwoo.
Noticing you take a headcount, Mingyu grinned. He's gotten to know you all too well over the course of your friendship. "He's out back on the patio," he whispered into his ear.
He must have been able to escape with the guys distracted, and the bodies that filled the first floor of their college townhouse apartment.
"Y/n! Wanna take a shot?" Hoshi shouted to you. "Hell yeah."
A little liquid courage never hurt. Mingyu chuckled as he got to work preparing your mixed drinks for the two of you. Hoshi was eagerly pouring out shots for the 14 people. He must still think Wonwoo is in the room.
"Hey, where's Wonwoo?" DK finally asked once he finished his turn with flip cup. "Oh, I think he must have slipped outside," Mingyu quickly responded. "I can go check on him after," you offered.
It was not unusual for you to take on almost a 'mother' role. Like Mingyu, you liked being there for people. You liked when people felt uncomfortable around you or that you could help someone out, no matter how big the task might be.
"That's our eomma," Dino shouted.
You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn't wipe the smile off your face. It did really feel good to be seen in positive light.
Mingyu placed your red solo cups in front of you. You smiled at the sight of your mixed drink, knowing that it would help the liquor slid down your throat. You weren't the biggest fan of vodka, but if you had something to chase? You were golden. Plus, you were now able to take your drink and able to slip away to find Wonwoo.
"Alright fuckers, some of us are seniors. Top dogs, but we always have our pack to support us. " Hoshi began. Oh boy.
Promptly, DK started barking which encouraged the rest of the boys to join in. Sometimes you question why you are friends with them, but you knew they were all irreplaceable.
"I just love you guys so much." Uh oh. Looks like Hoshi has already had a bit more to drink than the rest of the group. "Here's the last few months before we become boring."
The shot glasses dropped down to the table before meeting all of your lips. You cringed a bit at the feeling of straight vodka hitting your mouth but quickly swallowed. With your free hand, you were able to rid of the taste with the mixed drink which made you immediately relax. You sighed as you could already feel how warm your stomach felt from the liquor entering your system.
"Go get your boy," Mingyu teased you in a hushed tone. "HEY! Secrets makes frenemies and I want us all to be besties," Hoshi shouted as he caught you and Mingyu talking. "Relax, tiger. I'm just telling her where I think Wonwoo ran off to."
Hoshi seemed to relax before instantly distracted by the next game Jun proposed. Mingyu sighed, knowing he was going to be on Hoshi duty tonight. Again. You patted his shoulder comfortingly before slipping away to the porch.
Keeping your drink above your head, so you wouldn't accidentally spill or drop it on anyone or anything, you navigated through the crowd of people. For someone who liked to keep parties small, there was always a large turn out for Mr. Popular. You offered friendly smiles at familiar faces, as you kept your eyes locked on the back patio.
As the people around you began to dissipate, you saw a figure sitting on the steps of the back porch. It wasn't much of a porch really. Just a set of wooden steps with a deck, but it was like luxury to any college student. It also is why people favorited Mingyu's spot for partying on the weekends.
You were able to easily identify the person outside just based off the broad shoulders. It has been quite a few weeks since you last saw Mingyu, but you liked seeing how long his hair has gotten since then. You always thought he looked better with a bit of length to his haircut.
Gently, you slid the back patio door hoping not to startle him. He did, however, whip his head around to see who was responsible but then immediately relaxed when he saw it was you. While you two were not close yet, he recognized you. Wonwoo also knew just how important you were to Mingyu, so you were never seen as a threat. Quite frankly, he just didn't know how to approach you since the two of you had not had a proper conversation one-on-one.
"Oh hi, y/n," he called out gently. His voice was always calm in his deep tone. It was oe of the things you adored about Wonwoo. His voice was calm to you like the ocean, and you always seemed to cling onto every word he spoke.
"Hey Wonwoo," you said in your usual tone, not wanting to be perceived as a threat. "Mind if I join you?"
His eyes slightly widened as he heard you. Only the guys ever really approached Wonwoo, so it was a bit surprising that someone would want to accompany him.
"Oh um sure."
Wonwoo scooted over from where he was sitting, offering his spot for you. You smiled appreciatively before fully stepping into the patio. You closed the door behind you, both to respect Wonwoo's privacy and to keep the house warm. It was apparent that Wonwoo had wondered out here for a reason, so you wanted to respectful and show through your actions you were someone he could trust. You also were not wanting to hear Mingyu nagging at you for causing the electricity bill to rise in the month of March.
Slowly, you made your way over until you sat down next to him. You set your drink but the edge, so if you accidentally spilled, it could go into the grass rather than the cute boy beside you.
"Enjoying the party?" Wonwoo asked in a soft tone.
It wasn't monotone. It was his usual deep tone. But as he spoke, you noticed that his gaze was seemed to be locked on the moon above the two of you. It was still a bit chilly when the sun was hidden, but you were comfortable. The alcohol definitely aiding.
"Yeah, actually. Much better than being coped up studying," you joked.
"Yeah, I feel you," he sighed. You watched the way he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. It was such a little thing, something he probably doesn't even think about it. Yet, you found it to be the most adorable thing. "You're in the political science program, right?"
Your heart undeniably did a little flip knowing that he remembered that detail to you. Maybe Mingyu has held up his promise and talked to Wonwoo about you, not just saying he had to make you feel more at ease. You nodded your head as you looked over at hi. It was just a habit of yours. You didn't expect him to look over at you, but you wanted to show him that you were present in the moment and ready to listen to whatever he wanted to say. Or even if you two just sat here in silence for a little. There was just something screaming within you that you he needed you tonight.
You just had no idea that he knew anything about you given that you only were on first name basis.
"Yeah," you spoke softly, unable to wipe the gentle smile on your face. "And you're in the computer science program?"
Wonwoo nodded, smiling a bit as well. Wonwoo never was the guy he thought people took interest in. Honestly, every day, he feels just blessed to say he has some of the best friends who want to drag him out of his bedroom. Most people might not even notice his absence. And Wonwoo did that subconsciously, just as a defense mechanism. He has been on the receiving end of bullying and life's unfortunate events. He just found himself isolating more as a way to cope.
"If you don't mind me asking," you began, biting your lip. "Why are you out here by yourself? Is everything ok?" "I think?"
You couldn't help but frown at Wonwoo's response. You were too familiar with the uncertain feeling and knew how troubling it can be. While everyone faces their own difficulties in life, you never liked hearing that other people are struggling.
"I just," he began to open it up.
Now you were the surprised on. Never before would you expect to be Wonwoo's confidant, but you knew it was a job title of upmost importance. You just hoped your surprised expression was not portrayed on your face. If Wonwoo needed someone to vent to, you'd gladly step up.
He glanced at you to see if you were listening. Satisfied to see your eyes on him with a soft gaze, he let out a shaky breath. For the first time in a while, he felt like he was able to confide in someone. He knew the guys were always in his corner, but he ever wished to worry them too much. To some extent, Wonwoo prided himself in his own ability to take care of himself.
It was just that he's been struggling for some time.
"Everything is changing," he chuckled almost out of self-pity. "It's just been hitting me that all of this," he motioned to the party behind him. "Will not be here in a few months. Hell, not even in a few weeks since we all graduate soon. I know I should be in there partying it up, living in the present but I cannot help but think of how we all won't be together like this and it makes me sad."
It was almost like looking into the future as Wonwoo described his inner turmoil. You and Mingyu, and a few of the other guys, were still had another year or two left in college. However, Wonwoo and the other guys would be graduating this upcoming May.
"Do you know where the other guys have decided to go?" You asked in a quite tone. You hope you weren't upsetting him by your questions.
Wonwoo slowly nodded. "Yeah, I think Seungcheol and Jeonghan are moving to the city. Seungkwan has talked about moving in with them once he graduates next year. Joshua and Jun have jobs lined up in their hometowns, so they'll be moving out probably at the end of May. Hoshi? I have no clue. He hasn't even applied to any jobs yet. And Woozi and I have been applying to graduate schools. He's leaning towards business and I think I want to go in a more software engineering route."
"Have you heard back from any schools yet?"
Wonwoo couldn't fight the smile creeping on his face. He knew you cared deeply about Mingyu's friends, but he never thought he would be looped into that circle. He always kept his distance just because it was just convenient, it's what he knew. It also kept him safe in a world filled with chaos and unpredictability.
"Yeah, I actually heard from two schools, so I'm trying to decide. One of the schools is here."
He whispered the last part. It spoke volumes to you. The thought of Wonwoo staying here meant that you might be able to make things work with Wonwoo. That is, if he was opened to the idea of you dating.
"Like part of me wants to run away from here," he explained.
While you weren't quite at the same stage as life, you understood the need. It was part of the reason why you chose to go away for university whereas all your high school classmates chose more local programs. You wanted a change of scenery, a new beginning.
"So much has changed since freshman year. I'm definitely not the same person I was. I've had my challenges like losing my mom a year and a half ago," he explained. "And all those hard times happened while I was here, so I almost have a need to move and leave the pain behind.
His casual mentioning of his mother's passing brought back memories. You remember how all the guys rallied behind Wonwoo. Some of them even skipped final presentations and exams in order to be there for Wonwoo at the funeral. You knew it wasn't in your place to attend the funeral, but you cooked a warm cooked meal for all of them. It was Wonwoo's favorite dish. It at least wanted to do a nice gesture, so Wonwoo knew he wasn't alone. You still remember dropping the dish off with Mingyu with re-heating instructions.
To this day, he has no idea how that dish arrived. He just figured one of the guys ordered DoorDash.
While Mingyu begged you to stay, so you could give it to Wonwoo himself, you didn't want to overstep. You knew grief takes all shapes and forms, os you thought the best thing you could do was give the space for Wonwoo to feel his emotions.
Little did you know he's been harboring those emotions this whole time, almost two years later.
'But then part of me worries about the younger guys. I don't want them to feel abandoned. I don't want the group to fall apart once we all move, and it feels like if I stay here then I can keep us together even while the other guys go off."
"Almost like you are the glue that keeps them all together?" "Yeah, I guess that's the best way to explain it." "But Wonwoo, what keeps you together?"
He furrowed his eyebrows as he fully looked at you. What an odd question. And based on his reaction, you felt the need to elaborate.
"I mean, it's great that you always look out for everyone. You're a real nurturer," you explained.
Wonwoo has never been described in such light before. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep the blush from overtaking his cheeks. He shrugged though as if it was no big deal.
"But what are you doing to take care of yourself? I'm not asking you to make a decision now to either stay or go because going to grad school is a big decision. Congratulations, by the way. That's incredible!"
How could you always see the positive side of things? How hasn't life damaged your spirit like it has for him? How could you see good in him when he often failed to see it in himself?
"I know it's easy to feel like you need to harbor your own emotions because it's easy. But Wonwoo, that shit can break you."
Woah. Who would have thought y/n could swear.
"I'm always going to be here if you need me, you know. I'm not just Mingyu's friend, but I could like to consider us friends too, if that is something you'd like. I'm always here if you need a place to vent, especially if it's away from the guys. I know they can be…" you trailed off.
You didn't want to offend Wonwoo as that was his core group of friends. You were just a side character brought in every now and then.
"A lot," Wonwoo finished for you.
You both shared a laugh as you nodded, confirming to Wonwoo that was the word you were looking for. Silence fell over the two of you for a moment. All that could be heard was the sound of people laughing from within the house and the crickets chirping in the backyard. It was peaceful.
"You know, I've always wanted to say more than hello to you, y/n. Thank you for letting me vent. I wasn't expecting for it all to just spew out like that," he confessed.
Looking at him, you nodded a blush had fully taken over his cheeks but a wide smile remained on his lips. He looked too adorable. The moonlight was highlight his facial features which left you starstruck. He truly was built like a God.
You scooted closer so you could wrap your arms around Wonwoo. He tried his best not to let his body go tense. Wonwoo just wasn't accustomed to someone showing him affection in such a physical way. To be honest, he couldn't remember the last time he actually had a hug.
Slowly, his arms wrapped around you to pull you in closer. You didn't mind his hold on you was a bit tight. He clearly needed it. Your head rested on his shoulder, which allowed you to get a whiff of his cologne. Teakwood and oak. It made your heart fluttered.
But what really sealed the deal was feeling Wonwoo's head rest on top of yours gently.
"Always here for you, Wonwoo." "Promise?" He whispered. "I promise."
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ooctlt · 14 days
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I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.
An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.
yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:
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link to full-res image
a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her
transcript under the readmore:
DEAD END QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?
"Please stop talking to me."
This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.
NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character
gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT
DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?
"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."
This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.
It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out" could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw all the places they visit
ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?
me: "i have to do so much research"
NEAT QUESTION CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?
"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."
This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be LONGER.
Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:
ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?
and this can then spiral onward…
*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.
Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.
BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.
FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.
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har-rison-s · 5 months
Text
fear or endearment | coryo snow x fem!reader
a/n: hello people of tumblr. yes, i'm getting on the train of writing for coryolanus snow (save me). he's just so writeable before the 10th games, i feel. after that i lose any touch with him, honestly, idk. bad man. welp! enjoy this little short blurb i thought of while i was at work yesterday (no connection, tho, just day dreaming). happy reading &lt;3
warnings: none except snow's manipulative, calculating personality; this is pre-10th games snow btw
word count: 1,894
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gif credit goes to owner &lt;3
“you only like me because i bring you free stuff,” she says, her lips wearing a smile that holds the sadness of the half-joke she just made. it’s only an ironic way of saying the truth, and she thinks him a fool not to admit it. her hands get busy with carefully emptying the messenger bag full of food leftovers and pastries that the kitchen in her house deemed as unworthy for her family.
“not true,” coryolanus says with a gentle shake of his too-perfect head, eyes looking at her instead of raking over the gifts she’s brought. they’ll keep him and his family away from hunger for a week at least, if they plan carefully, “i like you regardless of that.”
she shakes her head with more conviction. it’s one thing to lie to himself about it, it’s another to tell the lie to her face. her face that has seen the brutal truth in people, her eyes that can see through any facade. it’s the reason she doesn’t watch television unless she absolutely necessarily has to – the facade built up around the ugly truth makes her sick to her stomach. “oh, yes, and my dream is to become a peacekeeper.” her sharp tongue responds.
coryolanus considers her words and the sarcastic look on her face, the faint grin she wears. he doesn’t like being confused, and yet she makes him feel that way very often. sarcasm is her companion in every conversation, and coryolanus suspects he might be one of the only people in the world she shows her bare soul and heart to, and even then she shows very little. her rebellious nature, though, is what makes him worried for her. sometimes he thinks he ought to follow her in her ways, even though it wouldn’t be easy. it would also be going against everything he’s fought so hard to have, and would continue to fight for.
coryolanus shakes his head in confusion, his cheeks blushing just the faintest tone of pink and curls trembling along with his head movements. she laughs fruitfully at knowing she made him confused, her head hanging back for a moment. she closes her bag, its contents emptied on coryo’s kitchen table, and looks down on them. “i know you wonder why i say things like that,” she looks up at him again, and coryo nods, his lips bit back in a faint smile, “can’t help it. must be some security mechanism in me, to joke or draw irony in serious matters.” she shuffles herself onto the table’s surface, now getting the view of coryo in front of her instead of having to wring her neck around every time to just look at him standing beside her. coryo nods again and smiles wider. “sometimes i want to shut up, but i just can’t seem to. and that tends to get me in trouble quite a lot. you know that well.” 
ah, yes, her rebellious nature that gets in the way of her education and reputation up-keeping. he might just be her only friend at school, because no one wants to associate themselves with such a rebellious girl as her. sejanus has been nice to her, but coryo guesses he lacks the courage to talk to her. coryo makes a grin and takes a step closer to her. her genuine eyes find his again and she searches them for some bit of truth. it’s hard for most people to guess what he’s thinking, but not for her. “i like you for that,” coryolanus tells her, and she furrows her eyebrows because by looking into is eyes she knows it’s the truth that he’s telling.
“hmm,” she just hums in surprise, “i know it upsets you, too. and that you worry about me, and that’s why you get me out of trouble, even if you don’t have to. you and your perfect attendance and grades, perfect attitude.” she counts off, and it almost sounds like she despises him for all these things. coryo shakes his head, eyelids fluttering while looking at her still.
“you of all people know how imperfect i am,” he says, “look where i have to live,” he gestures around the kitchen. but her smile drops, “it’s almost nothing compared to your place.” 
“where we live doesn’t say much about us,” she responds, “so many people at school think i’m this spoiled princess of the capitol living in my great mansion with mother and father.” she rolls her eyes. “only thing perfect about me are my grades, and even they are being pulled down because of my attitude.” she sighs. coryo nods, understanding, and stays close to her. “i’m really a rebellious child whose parents hardly have patience for. it’s not like i try to get into trouble, it just so happens that my opinions don’t go well with everyone else’s. i know i’m not the only one, but i might be the only one with guts to say those opinions.” she shrugs. “you know that associating with me can get you into trouble, too.”
coryo nods. “but it hasn’t this far,” he responds with a kind smile as the two of them look at each other. she wishes she could respond with a smile half as true as his current one, but her character has been beaten down. her eyelids flutter and she looks down at her hands. 
“why do you get me out of trouble, then? why do you worry about me?” she asks quietly. “we both know you shouldn’t.” 
“you don’t believe me when i say it,” coryo says, reminding her of the beginning of their conversation. she looks up at him again, chin raised. he’s wounded by her disbelief. 
“what?” she asks in half a whisper. coryo tilts his head, his facial expression saying that his answer should be obvious. his hand hesitantly reaches out to hers in her lap, gently coating her intertwined palms. she’s almost forgot how to breathe. he’s never touched her hands before. it’s always a hand at the small of her back, on her shoulder, arms around her. never the hands. it almost seems like he was saving them for... something.
“i like you,” coryo says just as quietly, hand over hers and eyes looking at her, this intense emotion suddenly between them in the air, “not just for the free stuff. it’s the depth of your heart and kindness,” one i know i’ll never have, “and your courageous nature.”
she smiles. “you have courage, too, coryo,” she tells him quietly, and finds herself lost in him now that he’s so close to her. his ice-cold heart warms at her using the nickname for him. she intertwines their fingers now, raising the formed knot higher between them, so that it would enter their line of vision. coryo looks at it, and his heart lurches in his chest, making him feel nearly on the point of fainting, “you do,” she says again, “you just need to... channel it in the right direction.” she utters in a the quietest of whispers. 
coryolanus doesn’t dare a make a noise even though his throat is dry and he needs to clear it, but he fears anything louder than a whisper might ruin everything, even his heart feels like it’s hammering too loud in his chest, “like this?” he asks in a faint voice, and she furrows her eyebrows at the weird question, but doesn’t get to doubt it because coryo is pressing his lips to hers, adding even more value to their moment together. 
for a person who is always able to calculate things to come, she is surprised because this she didn’t calculate at any point. but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t waited for him to do this, to take a next step, for at least a few weeks now. her courage faded away any chance she had to do the same, to be the one who takes the first step. 
she grips his hand between them even harder, and her other hand goes to cradle the side of his face, but after the first few kisses their hands untie and she uses both of hers to hold his face, while coryo is too shy to touch her. she pulls away, both of them out of breath, and they look at each other. stunned. thrilled. without words to say about what they just did. 
“yeah, like that,” she finally breathes in response, always having something cheeky up her sleeve, “only...” she takes both of his hands in hers and places them on her waist, where they fit nearly like a magnet. coryo breathes a quiet sigh of relief, it was where he thought of embracing her, but somehow lacked the guts to do so. looking at each other, she nods at him and coryo makes a small smile. “i know you like me now,” she says quietly, and coryo even chuckles, “you wouldn’t be so nervous about me otherwise.” 
he nods, succumbing to the defeat of her cracking him, and stands between her legs that dangle off the side of the table. his hands on her fit right in place, both of them feeling that they’re always meant to be there. “sometimes, uh...” coryo shakes his head, a little nervous to say what he wants to, but she urges him on with her hand on his cheek serving a comforting touch, and he blushes when he looks at her, “sometimes i don’t know if i like you or i’m scared of you.” he admits.
it makes her laugh out loud, as if it was the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard someone say. her head hangs low, and then rests against his chest once her laughter has started to subside. coryo feels embarrassed that he admitted that now, but he wraps his arms around her nonetheless. he knows she means no harm. 
she looks up at him, hands on his chest, and gets real close to his face again, “you better figure it out real soon, coryo,” she tells him, “i don’t want to be with someone who’s scared of me. i want them to be with me because they like me.” she says truthfully and coryo nods. he’s never really been around a girl or woman who’s made him feel like she has. it’s hard to explain, but her rebellious nature, her unpredictability are what scare him, but also what endear her to him. make him like her so much. makes his heart jump out of his chest when she speaks against a professor or simply flees a classroom. 
“i like you,” coryo assures her, “and i’m glad you want to be with me, too.” he says and they smile at each other. she nods at him and leans into his chest into a long embrace neither of them really want to get out of. 
coryolanus is scared of the consequences of her actions, scared for where it will make him end up. but life with her has colour. he doesn’t exactly want to give that up because he might get in trouble. he finds a way out of it with his wit and charm, anyhow. whatever problems she could get him into by being herself he can easily get out of, so maybe taking risks isn’t that deadly of a thing. not for her.
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part 2
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