#yes. why

[striving-artist]

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.

#my life #why yes #this is obvious in my writing #thank you for asking

[lilacandladybugs]

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

#this is a silly goofy mood post pls no being weird or taking it too seriously ok? ok :) #yes yes ur engaged congrats but also why would u get me excited about a rock #when no rock #eslyea #geology #rocks

[suiheisen]

gritty both capturing the zeitgeist as usual AND educating me on the availability of free flow butter at american cinemas

#i am intrigued……….. #is it to spritz more butter on your popcorn???? #does the popcorn come unbuttered? #or is it extra flavouring on top of that #is it at all cinemas? or just some?? #is it just pure melted liquid butter??? #anyway #i just watched oppenheimer but honestly all i can think of is that tiktok comment: ‘why einstein gotta be such a cutie patootie’ #yes i’m drained but also…. #albert ​einstein in his babygirl era #long post #gritty #barbie #barbenheimer #philadelphia flyers

[the-dragon-girl-27]

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

you are greeted by...... her

#fairy vs walrus #walrus vs fairy #walrus #why is this so well textured its fucking shitpost art #like why cant i pull this off in my normal art it had to be the walrus fairy #meme art #things that would give people outside of tumblr a heart attack #maybe #has the fairy vs walrus debate breached containment yet #also that generic girl i drew ended up looking a lot like how i look irl (yes i look like an npc) #also that door is unreasonably large but i needed you to be able to see the walrus in all her glory #i wanted it to be bigger so you could see her wings #fairy walrus #dragon draws creatures

[sexhaver]

more than any other calvin and hobbes strip this one stays lodged in my consciousness

#yes i got yelled at as a kid a lot why do you ask

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[skellydun]

I don't think I'm meant to be employed. It really cuts into my goofy silly haha time. and it makes it nearly impossible to have any wow life is beautiful let me take it in time.

#guess what our employee appreciation gift was. a chair. 100+ dollars on a camping chair for each HQ employee? why not just... #i was just like gee. glad u appreciate me. u ever heard of how companies can shower u with free swag but it doesnt distract from the #horrible culture??? #like yes dont give us that 100 dollars but give me an ugly chair with our company logo that i had to lug up a hill. #im just tired of this aspect of HR i think. need me some new scenery

[possessable]

Hello i'm a normal person here's some stuff i drew to illustrate different traits different "person getting controlled" tropes can have

edit: obligatory possession shorthand code link because people seem to be using this like the possession code but just. without the code part

edit: DO NOT BE HORNY ON MY POST 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#if you see tumblr flagging this its literally not mature i dont know why it got flagged #i like how you can see the artstyle in this change because i drew the first couple a year ago and then picked it up again intermittently #this aws just an excuse to draw a bunch of tiny possessed guys. ''what am i supposed to do with a possession hyperfixation its not like you #can draw possession fanart'' Yes You Can If you really Believe In yourslef #This isn't even all the traits i can think of there's four more but they seem kind of boring to draw and are mostly self explanatory #Less Unique my Ass #ThePossessionHyperfixationIsNeverEnding

[ando666detonao]

don't you ever read a piece of fanfiction so good you just

#yes im-abanana im looking at you #now i might be wrong on my predictions but #if you take DD's words at face value and make them go through a therapy session w stickler im going to lose it beyond repair #expect fanart of the saga.this is less of a warning and more like a threat #OHSHIT I JUST CHECKED NOTIFS AND SHE STARTED FOLLOWING ME SOME MINS AGO WHAT WHY HOW omg hiiiii

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[bearhaviour]

Yearning

#satosugu #jjk #gojo satoru #geto suguru #digital art #bear art #why yes I did make myself cry

[klaunee]

I drew this over a year ago but I guess now is the time to post it.

#hazbin hotel #fanart #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #why did this blow up #thanks i guess #yes the joke is that he's asexual #he's had ENOUGH! of the conversation #genuinely scared at these numbers #oh you've had sex? yeah we'll i've had enough #WHY DID THIS BREAK 1K #WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE #3k notes is insane. insane! i love you all <3

[fulcrvm]

illya is so dramatic oh my god i love him

#yes im still on season 1 of mfu im very slow at watching tv shows #the man from uncle #mfu #illya kuryakin #napoleon solo #napollya #from season 1 episode 20 #which was honestly hilarious im glad there was an illya centric episode it was fun #rex speaks #WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY NOTES WHO ARE YOU GUYS

[aloekat]

his ass is NOT grant o’brien!!!!

#dropout #game changer #zac oyama #aloe.etc #yes i know its because grant has covid but its still its funny they kept the bit going #100 #200 #hey why did this blow up so fast #300 #400 #GUYS CALM DOWN ITS NOT THAT FUNNY #500 #you guys are on fire #600 #700 #what the fuck chat #800 #900 #1k #MY FIRST POST TO HIT 1K!! TYSM DROPOUT FANS!!! #2k #3k #4k #5k

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite