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coolaboutlucy · 4 months

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𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 | 𝙚. 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢𝙨

pairing: nepo baby!business owner!ellie williams x afab!business owner!reader

tags: smut, fingering (r receiving), pet names/name calling?? (dirty girl, pretty, good girl, baby), slight praise??, god why is tagging so hard, mild language, unethical business practices??, thoughts are green, ellie lowk an asshole, but both reader and ellie are pretty harsh to eachother, maybe that’s it, bare with me if i forget something pls. 😭🙏

a/n: i wrote this directly on tumblr bc i did NAWT feel like pulling up google docs today saur the format might be a lil off. i was watching this show on netflix called ‘locked up’, and like an episode from season two is what inspired this!!! 😜 the show is good honestly it just drags on sometimes!!! ive actually never actually written smut any times before this (believe it or not hehe) anyways, let’s get into it!!!

P.S - DEDICATED TO @sweetysaccharine YAWP YAWP!!!! <333 HOPE U ENJOY POOKIEEEE

P.P.S - don’t look at the typos or i will find you (IM JOKING)

rumors traveled fast, and sometimes it wasn’t always good. for one, they could be infuriating. a company you’d been toe to toe with for.. quite some time had gotten a new ceo. some young girl. articles appeared online about some kinda nepotism scandal. the photo on the top of the article displayed a photo of the previous ceo — joel miller, and the new owner, ellie. they looked happy. but why were they accused of something as harmful as nepotism? long story short, joel turned his brother down for the position (even though he was the better option) so ellie could have it. favoritism of sorts. but god was she infuriating! her stupid, flashy displays of wealth (that probably didn’t even belong to her) made you so mad! and also, her arrogance and her constant need to compete with you was very infuriating aswell. you had influence, she had money. wouldn’t these things be considered as a double kill in some perfect world? yes. would you ever even consider working with someone like her? absolutely not. you couldn’t even stand being in the same vicinity as her whenever you two ended up at the same social events.

imagine that terrible, ugly feeling of anger that coursed hot through your veins once finding out she’d brought possibly one of the biggest clients you could’ve ever had. it was one thing for her to shove it in your face that she was wealthy but this? she’d completely overstepped. storming your way through the companies large building, you find yourself at her offices door knocking like a madwoman. “open the goddamn door, williams!” you yell as you attempt to open the door on your own. she doesn’t say anything, but you’re just almost certain she’s smirking or something. she opens the door with this.. look. it was weird. a perfect mixture of condescending, arrogance, and ‘i know what i did and i don’t regret it’. “are you insane?” “mm.. yeah. i guess so.” you laugh, dumbfounded by her. “how bout you come into my office for a seat and a drink?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “let’s handle this civilly, shall we? knowing you, i have the feeling that this could get real ugly.” she pushed open the door with that same condescending/arrogant smile. of course, reluctantly, you walk inside. maybe this could be resolved civilly.

the sound of some smooth music played. it sounded like micheal buble or something. she walks around her desk to pour you a glass of bourbon. she hands it to and you just hold it. “it’s not poisoned, see?” she says before taking a sip. you take a sip and of it before putting the glass on her desk. “so, i realized that.. i have something you want.” the something being that client. “why else would i be here? that was a really petty move and you know that.” she chuckled. “yknow, i could just.. refer them back to you.” initially, you’re in disbelief. ellie? being generous? no way. she must’ve completely lost it. “but! it comes with a price.” of course it does. nothing was free, not in this economy. you kept your expectations low for this very reason. you raise an eyebrow at her. “we could work together. become business partners.”

she turns her music up a little. she dances her way over to you, circling you a bit. “no chance, ellie. how could i ever work with someone like you?” she chuckled again. “why wouldn’t you work with ‘someone like me’? you have something that i want aswell.” “what?” “power. influence. however you may wanna word it. i admire that.” it had to be some sick joke. why would she wanna work with you? “shouldn’t all your daddys money be more than enough to keep you in a position of power?” you quarry, then crossing your arms. a part of you didn’t believe that she’d been the one asking you for help.

“just think about it. me, giving you money. you, drawing power hungry clients in with that pretty face of yours. we’d work together like yin and yang.” she proposed before taking another sip of the drink in her glass. that was her giving a go at an analogy. was it good? she didn’t know. did she care? not at all. “you bullshitting me, williams?” “not at all. all you gotta do.. is say ‘yes’. cmon.” she offers her hand, those pretty slender fingers and that tattoo that peeking from underneath that black button up shirt were just so.. enticing. you were in your head, just thinking. was this a good idea? could i trust her? she probably has bad intentions. but she was so tempting. this had to be one of the seven deadly sins or something.

she snaps infront of your face. “where’d you go?” she asks. “nowhere.” you respond quickly. “so, you taking the offer or not? or.. will i have to convince you?” she takes a step closer to you. temptation taints your brain.

you’re not in control of your thoughts anymore. ellie was.

her hand seeks solace on your waist. “shouldn’t finding business like this be considered illegal?” you whisper to her. “im not a law abiding woman. and quite frankly, i don’t give two shits.” maybe it wouldn’t be illegal if nobody knew. but all you thought about was her. how she smells. how she’s looking at you. how her hands feel on your body. you can’t stop yourself. your lips crash down onto hers. your fingers tangle in her auburn hair as the both of you kiss passionately. she brings you to her desk, knocking stuff over as she sat you on her desk.

glass shattered, pictures were knocked out of their frames, and her computer mouse was.. somewhere. your back arches into her touch as you let out a soft moan into her mouth. she takes the opportunity to slide her tongue into your mouth. in the competition of dominance between your tongues, she reigns supreme. her hands slide up your body and end up on your oxford button up shirt. she doesn’t unbutton it, she rips that shit open. “i’ll get you a new one.” she mumbled as the buttons from the shirt scatter across the room.

“you’d better. or else id have to come back here and get it by force.” “oh please, you’ll be back here for more reasons than a goddamn shirt.” she said as she peppers kisses down to your jawline, then your neck. “don’t leave any marks.” “but why?” “oh, i dunno, cause i don’t want anyone asking me who i had sex with?” “who gives a shit? your workers get paid to look the other way, don’t they?”

well, she makes a good point. and you can’t argue with a point as valid as that. she sinks her teeth into a sweet spot of your neck, making you moan out as she runs her tongue along the new mark. she sticks her tongue out again to run it all the way down to one of your boobs. the sensation makes you shiver. “wore this pretty bra for me, didntcha? you were just expecting this. you must’ve wanted me to touch you like this, didn’t you? dirty girl. must’ve been waiting for me to bend you over this table.” she rambled all while stripping you of your bra, then leaving soft kisses and licks across the valley of your breasts.

she takes her time, making you wait for it. she knew what she was doing to you, and she was going to make you wait. “ellie, you’re going soo slow! you know what i want.” you whine as she leaves kisses and bites all over your exposed skin. “tell me what you want or you’ll get nothing. tell me where you want me.” she whispered. “i want your fingers.” “where?” “you know where.” “tell me or you get nothing.” you hesitate for a moment before saying feebly. “in.. in my pussy..” “that’s a good girl.”

she smiles as she pushes her hands into your slacks. she could feel your wetness. “i got you this worked up, huh? who knew little miss perfect could get this wet over me, a ‘nepo baby’?” she teased with a cocky smile. she slowly slides your slacks and underwear all the way down to your ankles before she applies a delicious amount of pressure to your clit. you gasp, your hand wrapping around her wrist. “oh, you like that do you, huh? you want more? fucking beg for it. cmon.” she applies more pressure to your clit, rubbing small and soft circles as her fingers ghost your sopping entrance. “oh— please ellie, i need more. give me more.” “gonna take more than that, baby.” you whine when she suddenly takes all that pressure away from you.

you let out another whine as you attempt to rut against her hand. her free hand slaps your thigh as she shakes her head in disapproval. “none of that. keep still. you get nothing until you beg like a good girl.” “please, please. ill do anything. just please touch me.” she chuckles at you. she found it cute how you were so desperate to chase that pleasure. “god, you’re so desperate. you need it so.. goddamn bad, don’t you?” she lets out a grunt in the middle of her sentence as she suddenly plunged into your pussy.

as she moves her fingers, she groans at how wet her you were. first she starts with middle finger, then adding her ring finger. her long fingers are hitting that sweet spot in you. she was making you see stars. “listen to yourself. look at ‘er, she’s crying for me.” she coos as she speeds her pace. you moan out. “watch me, baby.” you slowly look down at her fingers plunging in and out of you. sounds of wet squelching fill your ears. you bite your lip and you toss your head back as you let out a moan. you grind yourself down onto her fingers, chasing that wonderful and blissful orgasm.

you felt a pressure building up in your stomach. your eyes were fluttering open and shut. everytime you looked away, she stopped. you made sure to not look away. once that pressure in your stomach felt like it was gonna release, your moans became more broken. “ellie! ellie— oh fuck! ellie! im gonna cum! don’t stop, please don’t stop!” you say between moans as you bring your hand back down to hold her wrist in place.

“oh yeah? gonna cum? let go for me. make a mess on my fingers. cmon. i know you can do it.” she said as she kept her pace at that same one that was making you see stars. she’d been rambling something to you, talking you through it as she watched you cum all over her fingers. she helps you ride out your orgasm, a slight tremble in your legs becoming more apparent.

“what do we say?” “thank you.” she smiled as she pulled her fingers out. the sudden loss makes you whine. she sucks her fingers clean and you watch as her tongue runs across the length of her fingers. “still being a tease, williams?” you ask as you look at her while she does it. “mm.. well no, i dont think so. just savouring how good you taste.” when she was finally satisfied, she drops her hands. “so, you finally ready to stop being so stubborn and take the deal?” “not a chance if it means we get to have sex like this.” you respond with a chuckle. “maybe you need to be fucked again, hm?” she ask with a smile.

needless to say, you’d went another time, and on the third you fucked ellie. eventually you come to some sort of agreement after you’d been laid on her leather sofa, naked and feeling like you were floating. the only question you had now is what the hell had you gotten into. “will this turn into a scandal?” you ask. “.. probably not if we keep this under wraps.” she responds as she puts her head in the crook of your neck, pressing soft kisses to it. “plus, yknow i can just pay the media off right? they won’t say anything. not a peep.” she reassured as she smiled softly.

#wlfabby #tlou #the last of us #the last of us 2 #the last of us part two #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie x you #tlou x reader #the last of us x reader #ellie x afab!reader #ellie smut #tlou x reader smut

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roach-works · 1 year

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I’m always a bit nervous to talk about being Jewish on the internet. In part, I’m afraid of getting outright antisemitic harassment, and in part it’s because a lot of positive discussion of Judaism ends up getting hijacked by oblivious goyim who turn the discussion sour, no matter how well-meaning they might be.

So, it makes me really happy to see you writing openly and unabashedly about being jewish. Whether you’re writing from a place of celebration, social-media-exasperation, sorrow, joy, education, frustration, or any of them at once, it’s always good to see people talking openly. I’m starting to think that I could follow your example, and be a bit less anxious.

I know I’m just a tumblr stranger, but I want say thank you. Even the little things help! :)

aw, thanks for the sweet ask! being jewish was definitely the least and most 'minor' piece of my identity until uhhhh yknow. nazis started being real again. but i remember slamming into this weird realization a couple years ago that i had put a lot of effort into learning to respectfully depict black people, because i wanted to be a thoughtful and conscientious ally, and because i firmly believed that fantasy and science fiction should belong to everyone... but i had never even once thought of drawing a man that looked like my family.

like, i thought i was white. and then i thought, i'm white and jewish. and then i thought, what if i drew this podcast character as jewish? what if i drew him as if he looked like my uncle or my dad or my brother? and then i felt, immediately, reflexively: absolute terror.

generational trauma, growing up in the shadow of the holocaust, living and working in the midwest, you just... you hide that part of yourself. you survive. you don't get loud and proud and angry. you live like a mouse, in the corners, in what space you gnaw out for yourself.

i still don't wear a star of david. so many of my coworkers wear crosses but so many of my coworkers have guns. i think of wearing a gold star around the people who i've already cheerfully told i was gay, and my hands sweat. i think everyone who goes outside with that kind of target on their chest is phenomenally brave.

there is a bone deep terror in me of my own jewishness, of when i'll have to pay for it, of what the bill will be, of what i might do or say that's a little too loud or clumsy or obvious or true, and thus sign my own warrant. jews are so brave and so strong to keep living through all this but like have you seen the midrash? have you seen how many generations of our sages left behind the distilled wisdom of a lifetime and it boiled down to be secret, be safe.

jewish representation is so fucking fraught! the theif, the banker, the pedophile, the goblin, the bones in the oven. we don't often get to tell our own stories, or wear our own faces. and even when we have the opportunity, it's terrifying. we flinch. how jewish is superman, really? our hero, our ubermench, the most famous converso. we joke around, we make coded allusions, we minimize.

it's hard to walk into the spotlight and smile when you don't know if you're in a theater or a prison yard, you know?

so. i don't know. i don't know! sorry to explode on you! i'm going to a christmas party at a bar tomorrow. i live in indiana and work a blue collar job with guys who think trump was a whole lot of fun but invited me specifically and promised to buy me a pint. there'll be ax throwing and free drinks and i'm probably going to have to explain hannukah for the fifty millionth time. second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse.

the sages write: be secret, be safe. survive. but even with all that weight, you've got to be brave, you know? i think you know. you can't live your life in the dark. you can't make art from the fetal position.

even the mouse deserves a day out.

#maus #jewish blogging #nightblogging #roach's kawaii life

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narcatsisst · 3 months

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a rant about how fucking ANNOYING my ex was when it came to my npd (even though HE HAD BPD HIMSELF) ok so first off, he was the one to help me realize i probably had bpd. and it was NICE because i was figuring things out abuot myself and i felt like i could talk to him and i was being really open. but after a bit i started feeling weird with the label, and i was noticing that i had a lot of symptoms that didnt match up with bpd, so i started researching other pds, which led me to NPD. but i had a lot of internalized ableism around the idea. so i pushed it inside myself and bottled it up, until i saw something frmo someone with NPD that i related to so deeply that i couldnt push it down anymore so i started doing more research on npd and looked at experiences from people with npd. and it made sense! it made so much sense and looking through tumblr seeing stuff from ppl with npd that were proud of their npd and were open about it and were so similar to me made me happy. so i decided to tell my boyfriend, because he was, yknow, my BOYFRIEND, and i felt i could trust him. i tell hiim that i think i might have it. at the time i was like 99% sure. and the first thing he says is i probably dont because im "too nice" and that hes SCARED. of my fucking personality disorder. which doesnt help my internalized ableism at fucking ALL. but i put it off im like whatever okay hes an anxious person its fine. but no, it just keeps going. he starts to talk about how he thinks his terribly abusive mother has npd. about how he has so much trauma over the term and how his mother is such a terrible narcissist abuser and how he still believes in narc abuse to an extent. and im like, what the fuck? listening to the things hes saying his mom doesnt even seem like a narcissist. she just seems like a regular fucking abuser. but no, of course, tell this to your boyfriend that confided in you about a terribly stigmatized disorder he thinks he might have, because of course thats good (sarcasm). and then he tells me that whenever i talk about npd i trigger him and i shouldnt talk about it so much. i shouldnt talk about my fucking PERSONALITY DISORDER. the disorder that makes up my whole personality, the one that affects the way that i think and view the world and others. but no, of course, youre allowed to talk about your bpd as much as you want, but i cant talk about my npd. (sarcasm again). if you cant handle me talking about it, imagine what its like to fucking LIVE IT. to have a disorder that everywhere i go there comes up shit about how every pwnpd is a terrible abuser and they dont deserve respect, and then i confide in my fucking BOYFRIEND about it, because i TRUST him, and i just get more stigma thrown back at my fucking face. this one is just kind of annoying and not like objectively bad, but i show them this meme one time thats like "what to do to all narcissists: tell them theyre always right" and they respond like "uhm ackshually.... its harmful to feed into their ego and tell them theyre right when they arent" LIKE I FUCKING KNOW YOU IDIOT!!! i know im not always going to be right! i know that!!!! and then they talk about how they arent comfortable when i ask for supply because they dont want to fucking "feed my ego" like what the fuck!!!! what the fuck is wrong with you!!!! and they would get fucking upset when i headcanoned a character to have npd. like what the FUCK is wrong with you. ughh!!!!!! god. they make me so angry!!!!

#goofball rambles #rant post #rant #cluster b safe #npd safe #actually cluster b #actually npd #actually narcissistic #npd vent

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sollucets · 1 month

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get to know me tag

as tagged by @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, and @troubled-mind! thank u everyone 💜🥰

do you make your bed? literally never!

what's your favourite number? 52. i picked it as a child and i don't remember why, but it pleases me still

what is your job? i'm a humble lil grocery store employee

if you could go back to school, would you? if i could quit my job and go to school and still have my same money, then yes, i should think so, but that's super not happening! it might be nice to have a second degree. i think history would be fun

can you parallel park? yes i can! i used to have to do it every day to park in front of my last house. >:c

a job you had that would surprise people? i think all of my jobs have been either rather generic or right on the nose for what people would expect of me so probably not. i was a nighttime gas station attendant for a fair bit of college, which could be a surprise i guess? everyone always goes ":0 but werent you scared????" and like, no, not most of the time, but sometimes you do it scared yknow

do you think aliens are real? yes, but real in a way that there are many real things i can't see and don't understand (protons, gender, etc)

can you drive a manual car? i could do that once and probably still can, but it's been a long long time since i practiced

what's your guilty pleasure? as far as media goes, i do my very best not to have things like this. if i feel bad about liking it i generally do not like it for very long. i would say the closest is being into kpop, but it's not like i keep that a secret, i just dont really want to engage with kpop fandom, so i dont often post or talk about it publicly. a real guilty pleasure is that i like cherry pepsi too much

tattoos? i have one; he's on my left forearm & he's an abstract little spaceman with a fern for a head. i call him my cosmonaut. i have plans for more but i never have the time or money lately

favorite color? we know this one already surely. 💜

favorite type of music? ohh, i don't like to discriminate hehe. my very favoritest songs usually have fun harmony or funky rhythms, though, and it's best if i can sing along

do you like puzzles? sure! i used to have a book of fairy puzzles when i was a kid that i love dearly even now

any phobias? i am afraid of all bugs, but i can be a grownup about most kinds of them. i Cannot be a grownup about moths or centipedes, which i am terrified of (using those words will cause this post to be filtered for me on tumblr). i try not to kill them if i can avoid it, since it isnt their fault i'm like this, but i,,, i really can't, i'm useless if i see one. when id find centipedes in my room at my last house i wouldnt be able to sleep.

favorite childhood sport? i did tennis all of middle and high school, explicitly because of ryoma echizen prince of tennis lol. i was on varsity! i also figure skated as a kid. both are still fun when i get the chance

do you talk to yourself? oh yes all the time. i keep odd hours so i used to accidentally wake my roommate cause i just kind of absentmindedly chatter abt everything

what movies do you adore? i am not really a movie person if i'm perfectly honest; i don't watch them often as an adult. from my childhood my favorite movies were kenneth branagh much ado about nothing, the princess bride, pokemon 2000, and return of the king

coffee or tea? neither, i dont like most hot drinks. apple cider is ok now and again but i usually drink it cold, and im horribly picky about hot chocolate

first thing you wanted to be growing up? i changed this answer all the time as a kid and i have records of me doing so in my old notebooks lol! answers i know about include "pilot", "author", "dragon", and "eowyn"

this one seems like it might be a little personal so im shy to tag people hehe. go ahead and put me down if you want to do it though; i will be happy to know :)

#rowan lore

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br1ghtestlight · 2 months

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random late night thoughts on my famous jimmy junior concept (specifically w/ tinimmy)

jimmy jr moved away in his sophmore year of high school because his mom got him accepted into a really good and well respected performing arts school in california. mom moved to california to live with him while he auditioned and studied and dad stayed behind with andy and ollie (they both missed their mom and jimmy jr SOO MUCH but they'd get to visit during the summer and spring/winter breaks)

tina and jimmy jr continued on again off again dating thru 8th 9th and 10th grades but they were always friends so tina took it super hard when jimmy jr moved away </3 she dated a few guys after him but honestly despite being a hopeless romantic she never felt much of a spark. i think she just missed him too much & never got over her first love. she vowed off dating until after high school

she definitely cried everyday for WEEKS when he actually moved away and stopped hanging out with her friend group w/ tammy and jocelyn. she still kept in contact with zeke but he had a pretty busy life at that point too yknow how it is

jimmy jr would call and text with tina and their friend group sometimes but he got really busy w/ school and life so they eventually fell out of contact. the type of middle school friend you only keep up with through their occasional facebook status updates

jimmy jr got his big break and became a famous teenage heartthrob type when he was around 17 years old and he did NOOOT take it well at all lol he got a huge ego and made so many terrible decisions <3 bless his heart <3 maybe he even thought he was too good for seymour's bay or his friends back home even though i think secretly he missed them. basically stopped talking to his family around this time. super weird for everybody who knew him in seymour's bay that he was now famous and totally idolized but he became something of a local legend to their town like "the birthplace of jimmy pesto jr omg" which was probably good for tourism

jimmy pesto's also got more randos visiting his restaurant because they wanted to see where jimmy jr grew up and harass his family basically lmao which jimmy pesto HATED especially since he became estranged from jimmy jr

it probably settled down after a few years when everybody realized jimmy pesto doesnt talk to his son and also he's an asshole

tina was always very proud of jimmy jr even as his friend because she knew how important dancing and attention/fame had always been to jimmy jr and his passion for it (she'd known him since kindergarten obviously!!!!) so she was always cheering him on like yay ^_^ she might attend an event he was doing locally but ngl he did stay clear of seymour's bay feeling like he had unfinished business there he didnt want to think about. tina was genuinely just happy for him & mostly over her feelings for him

she DID buy all his merch even the cheesy shirtless posters that were definitely made for 12 year old girls to kiss at night. she's LOYAL OKAY!!!!!!

because jimmy jr never came around to seymour's bay and avoided the area he kind of got a reputation with the locals that he thought he was "too good to acknowledge where he came from" so their opinion of him is slightly negative tbh. which isnt UNTRUE but it was less about the town himself and more about the people he left behind

jimmy jr found it really hard to make genuine friendships at his new school bcuz everybody was always trying to compete with each other and eventually he just stopped trying so he's been very socially isolated for a long time which DIDNT help his mental health. he never had another close friend like tina or zeke it was mostly just random party buddies and one night stands but nobody he could be himself around :(

jimmy pesto's relationship with jimmy jr in this fic is much too complicated to describe in a tumblr post lol but its very. uhh. they both want the best for each other and jimmy pesto truly isn't a horrible dad. andy and ollie adore their big brother though and they'll always ask him about his fancy life in hollywood when they go to visit

when jimmy jr first became famous there was some slight attention from younger fans directed @ andy and ollie who were like ooooh they're like jimmy jr but our age and single/not famous?? boyfriend maybe? a few stalkers but that pretty much died immediately when they realized andy and ollie are actual literal Freaks <- they never realized this is also true of jimmy jr though!!!!

he is bisexual. he never told anybody he's bisexual and nobody knows he's bisexual but he is bisexual of course. there is no universe where that kid is straight sorry

#much to say about their relationship but im saving it for maybe someday if i ever write this fic.....#also jimmy pesto and jimmy jr are a whole ass mess in this fanfic especially but there's good intentions?? somewhere deep down?#until he moves back to seymour's bay andy and ollie are like legit the only good thing this kid has in his life so he BETTER cherish them #like goddamn they put up w/ so much of his bullshit. for basically their whole lives #but they love him #bob's burgers #txt

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jonahfagnus · 6 months

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i dont think you ever posted about your "jon sees elias as jonah when he takes the archivist job" au but please start with that immediately 👀👀👀👀👀👀

so i dont think theres very much that i didnt say in the tags of the post i made about it (unless tumblr ate those for some reason)

but basically. yeah after jon takes the archivist position he starts seeing elias as jonah (at elias' age, not as like. a corpse in the panopticon). obviously he immediately realises that its jonah bcs, yknow, the guys paintings are everywhere.

i imagine jon's train of thought is something like this:

did my boss get possessed by jonah magnus -> no thats dumb ghosts arent real -> im having a psychotic episode -> surely id be seeing other symptoms -> what the FUCK is happening

so a huge amount of jon's desire to find the truth about the supernatural ends up focused on jonah. initially he's just doing research into the actual guy jonah magnus himself but that doesnt really get him anywhere because its not like jonah was like "dear diary im an eye avatar and im going to start putting my eyes into other people so i can be immortal" so he starts doing research into elias instead. which also turns out to be quite difficult just doing normal research.

luckily, jon and elias are decently friendly with each other (at least in early s1, which this would still be). so surely its not weird to try and make sure your relationship with your boss is positive. thats just common sense thats just cultivating a welcoming workplace environment or whatever. and ofc elias is like

bcs this is objectively great! jons leaning into the eye hes considering breaching elias' privacy to learn more about him and ofc hes flattered that jon is so focused on him in particular. so he allows jon to break into his office and look through his things and he pretends he isnt watching the entire time, and he casually mentions some flaws in his home security to try and spur jon into breaking into his house (which he doesnt. yet.)

they're sort of not-quite-dating - tim might joke about jon going on dates with elias and jon gets very flustered and denies it and elias is a little over affectionate in public just to see how jon reacts, but neither of them have any idea that jon's doing all of this just so he can figure out why his boss is (apparently) the founder of the institute.

then prentiss happens. then they find gertrude's body.

i dont think jon gets as paranoid as he does in canon - hes been less of an asshole since all of his focus has gone into researching elias and trying to figure out what the fuck happened. so while i think he does do some research into the archival crew, its mainly research into gertrude herself, and continuing his research into elias. now with added stalking!

and of course elias still doesnt care about the stalking because hes still 1. very happy jon is taking to the eye so well and 2. flattered that jon is so focused on him to the point of stalking him. in my heart i know elias considers stalking to be a form of flirting

s2 goes generally the same but i want jon to find out about the not-them just a little sooner so i can make him go "holy shit! elias got not-them'd! what the fuck!" of course this is completely incorrect if you know anything about how the not-them works but jon. doesnt.

jon, of course, breaks the table. then he finds out that sasha got not-them'd. then he finds out leitner is alive. then he finds out leitner is dead.

who else does he have to go to? he shows up at elias' home, maybe just minutes after elias finishes cleaning up, because a man has been killed in his office and he didnt do it.

because i am a soft elias truther s3 isnt just manipulation and horrible things happening for jon. horrible things still do happen (elias very much doesnt discourage him from talking to jude perry, or mike crew, for example) and elias is still a bastard but its probably not any significant amount more horrible than canon s3 was.

jon probably spends amounts of time talking to elias about what leitner told him (which is hilarious to elias) and elias (against his better judgement) doesnt tell jon that leitner was lying, but instead asks him questions that may or may not lead him to figuring out the entities. he's curious as to what's going to happen, and he's sure jon likes him enough that showing just a little of what he knows wont tarnish their relationship

i dont have many thoughts beyond that - the confrontation probably goes differently, for example, and maybe jon permanently moves in with elias. i cant decide how much of a corruption arc i should give jon (obviously he ends up much more content with the eye than in canon bcs the eye is sexy but i cant decide if hes pro apocalypse or not) but when jon finds out that elias is jonah hes like "oh i know" and jonah is like what the fuck do you mean

#the reason elias never realises that jon sees him as jonah is bcs. i decided he doesnt LOL #he just never reads jons mind when jons thinking about why his boss is jonah magnus #also gertrude definitely had the same thing. jon finds that out but its unhelpful to his own research aside from 'something is wrong with #the archivist position' but he already knew that #👁️ | jon sees elias as jonah au

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stevethehairington · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty to the lovely @thefreakandthehair and @hexiewrites for the tags!! this looks like a fun one!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 117 so far and still counting!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 662,484!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently stranger things and i've been toying around with the idea of jumping back into writing for good omens! just gotta get the worms to worm, yknow?

but i have also historically written for: skam; marvel; love simon/simon vs; it; shameless; supernatural; (and once for hp and once for trust but i will likely not ever write for either of those again sooo how much do they really count? lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. good for my boy (steddie) 2. can't hide the way you make us glow (steddie) 3. i want to hold your hand (steddie) 4. sloe gin fizzy, do it till you're dizzy (steddie) 5. the world will follow after (steddie)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? YES!!! i DO!!! i am INCREDIBLY behind on replying to comments, i got busy and didn't have the chance to reply to any and then they started to pile up and now there is an overwhelming amount in my inbox (currently around 450 sdkljfds) so i just gotta. carve out some time to start tackling all of them. but i am firmly of the belief that if you took the time to leave me a comment i will take the time to respond!! it... just might be a hot minute before that response comes... but it will!! that is a guarantee!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? haha if you know me you know that writing angst is not something i do all that often. i am a Certified Soft Bitch, and when i do write angst i always try to end it on a happy note because my blorbos deserve that happiness. but i suppose there are a few fics i've written that have... less than happy, perhaps more ambiguous endings. i think there are probably two that i can think of that could potentially fit the bill here...

keep me on a rope, which is my unrequited stommy fic. it IS a happy ending for steddie, but certainly not for tommy lol, so i suppose that counts!

and then i'll throw in beneath the stars too, which is the very first good omens fic i ever wrote (directly inspired by samson by regina spektor!) in which in the early days of their acquaintanceship, aziraphale shows crowley kindness, crowley makes a move and kisses aziraphale, and aziraphale pushes him away and is vehement about the fact that they can't. though, this one kind of ends with aziraphale having an italicize ohment (literally), sooo i guess it's not all that angsty of an ending?

if we wanna bring tumblr drabbles into the mix tho... i definitely have some angsty ones that do not end happily...

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? happiest ending!!! oh boy!!! try, like, every fic i've ever written basically?? dakljfsd as previously established, i am a Certified Soft Bitch, so pretty much all of my fics end with my blorbos happily in love and living/on their way to living their best lives. i really don't know if i can pick one that is the "happiest". i suppose if i absolutely had to pick, i'd maybe say let me know your future plans, which i wrote for the stucky big bang way back when. it's PURE romcom and it ends in a happy wedding so!!

8. Do you get hate on fics? i have not! which, considering how many fandoms i've written for and how crazy some of those fandoms can get, i am INCREDIBLY grateful for. i've got good egg readers and i am very very thankful for it. i think the worst comment i've ever gotten on a fic was one where someone like criticized robin in my fic and called her a bad friend, but that was because they THOROUGHLY misinterpreted her actions in the fic and like seriously misunderstood that she wasn't actually genuinely being an asshole. but yeah, i wouldn't really classify that as hate, that was just lacking reading comprehension lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do! i feel like it's been a hot minute since i have published any lol, but, historically, i have! and i certainly will (eventually) write and publish more! as for "what kind", gay. i write gay porn. dskljfs. all of the smut i have ever written has been gay and very likely all of it ever will be lksjfs. i also don't think my smut writing ever gets, like, super wild or anything. i'm fully one of those people that likes my smut to be very feelings heavy and like there's gotta be that emotional connection, that seals the DEAL for me, so yeah i tend to write it that way too. fun fact though, the first fic of mine that ever hit 1k kudos was a smut fic! lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope! i am very much NOT a crossover fan. don't like to read 'em, don't like to write 'em. i just think there's too much going on in them and i don't like to mix and match my fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware of! and hopefully it never will happen either!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? honestly? i cannot remember. sdkfjlsd i feel like i maybe had a request to translate a fic a looooong time ago, but i genuinely do not remember.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? none that have ever been posted! i've started co-writing fics before, but those have never been finished rip. i would really love to actually co-write something and finish it eventually though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? ohhhhhhhhhhh MAN. that's a TOUGH question. i've loved so many ships over the years, and they've all been incredibly dear to me. obviously, my favorite at any given time is going to be whatever is my current favorite, whatever is actively snagging my attention and digging it's claws into me (so atm, steddie or ineffable husbands). BUT. since we are talking favorite of all time... i think i gotta go with stucky here. there is just something SO beautiful about that one and there is SO much to work with there, the possibilities are truly endless.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? well i've got a MILLION wips i want to finish in my wips folder that will likely never get touched again skljgfsg but. oh man. i think i gotta say if you love me, if you hate me, which breaks my hEART to say. but skfljdf it's been five years since i posted it and i STILL have not ever gone back to finish it, despite desperately wanting to (because gOD DAMMIT IT HAUNTS ME, IT FUCKING H A U N T S ME!!! THAT IS THE ONLY FIC I'VE E V E R POSTED THAT I HAVE LEFT UNFINISHED AND I HATE THAT SO MUCH!!! I WANT IT TO BE COMPLETE!!!). i always say that i would love to go back and finish it one day, and that sentiment still stands!!! i really would!!! but man, i havent thought about skam in a writing-sense in, obviously, years. and i truly don't know if i ever will be able to get back in that mindset. like i always say though, never say never...

16. What are your writing strengths? writing strengths ooh hmm... well. i personally spend a lot of time on making sure i get my characterizations right when i'm writing any character - that is one of thee most important parts of fic writing to me, because a poorly characterized character is one of the QUICKEST ways to take me out of a fic. so i take that shit seriously. and i like to think that i understand the characters well enough that i am successful in this, that i do do a good job of it, that you can read any one of my fics and go YEAH he WOULD say that. i've gotten compliments about my characterizations on lots of my fics before too (which is genuinely the highest compliment to receive, it makes me so happy to hear), so i like to think that my judgement of my own skill here is not wildly off base lol.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? hmmmm. well, i tend to get super in my head about everything when i've been staring at a doc for too long. i start to like,,, forget how to write well lol. i feel like when that happens i start to like get repetitive and super basic in my writing, which is, obviously, not what i want lol. also, endings. i have so much trouble writing endings. also i struggle SO HARD with just like. writing a random scene that doesn't have like. all this buildup and background. like i cannot for the life of me just start writing in the middle of a scene adflskd. i have to have some sort of setup, which makes it very difficult when i cannot figure out what that setup should be lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? don't really have many thoughts on it tbh. i don't do it. mostly because i don't really include any other languages in my fics lol. but i suppose if i ever did and it wasn't like a well known phrase or something that the fandom would know without a translation, then i'd definitely include a translation somewhere. there is nothing i dislike more than when a fic throws in a significant amount of another language (aka not just one or two tiny phrases here andnthere) and doesn't include a translation. like i'm not out here trying to switch between tabs just so i can understand your fic. so yeah if i ever did include other languages, i would definitely be sure to include translations too.

19. First fandom you wrote for? first fandom i wrote for and published my written work for was skam!!! skam my beloved, you will always be special to me. i diiiiid dabble in fic writing before skam, but none of that was ever finished or posted and it never will be and i will not be saying what fandom it was for skfljgdfg (if you know me though you probably know the answer sdfkjsd). but yeah!! skam was baby's first fic writing fandom!!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? omgggg this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child... i CANT skdjfsl. can i cheat and list a couple favorites? sdkfjdsf. im gonna cheat and list a couple favorites. OKAY. so some of my favorites i've written include:

let me know your future plans - my fic for the 2018 stucky au big bang! this is the first bang i ever did, and it is the longest fic i have ever written! i'm honestly incredibly proud of myself for having done it; bangs are hard sldslkfs. writing a fic over that long of a time period and sticking with it until the end is hard, but i did it! i stuck with it and i finished it and wrote the whole thing i wanted to write and honestly it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my writing career. also, i fucking love a good romcom and that fic is pure romcom so. yEAH.

good for my boy - my wayne pov steddie fic! i'm ALSO super proud of this one because writing from wayne's pov was something so different for me and it was a challenge to make sure i got the balance of getting his voice right without crossing the line and making it sound like a caricature of him, and i think i did a pretty good job of getting him right!

under my umbrella - another steddie fic! this one was just something that came to me totally randomly and i just remember how easily the whole thing spilled out. it was SO incredibly fun to write and it combines some of my favorite things (steddie and RAIN kafjsd) and i just love this one a lot.

keep me on a rope - my unrequited stommy, steddie fic!! i LOVE L O V E LOVE writing tommy pov, and i LOVE L O V E LOVE writing tommy lore and this fic let me do both and it was just SO fun to write and to explore that fucked up little guy and i'm so so pleased with how it turned out. and also the response it got? THRILLING. having people tell me that me and my fic got them thinking about tommy as more than just some random side character that shows up in a couple episodes and disappears and that it got them appreciating that character? THEE BEST!!!! LITERALLY!!! spreading the tommy agenda to as many people as i can is my goal in life and this fic FULLY helped me open some eyes sdkfljsd.

imagine being loved by me - you know WHAT im gonna add this one to the list too because i think it is the best smut i have ever written. this was my first and only (so far anyways) foray into good omens smut lol and i'm actually suuuuper proud of how it turned out. like feels a little weird calling something i wrote hot but,,,,, i kinda went off with how hot it turned out adlkfjdslkf. at least to me it did anyways skjflsd.

that's the end of it now!! so i will tag: @withacapitalp @toburnup @2btheanswertothequestion @flowercrowngods @cheatghost @steddielations @henderdads @harmonictechnicality @sidekick-hero @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @steddieasitgoes @aidaronan @phoeniceae @pizzaqueen @fastcardotmp3 @wynnyfryd @maxineholtzmann @maxinemaxmayfield and anyone else that wants to do it!! (also if you've already been tagged feel free to ignore! i did not look at anyone else's tag list before doing mine lol)

#tag game #about me #my writing

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dumplingequivalent · 4 months

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hey I think I know why old people are insincere assholes the essay

Yknow when you're trying to connect to someone from an older generation, and they gloss over your attempts at genuine connection?

Like when a family member got you a gift that really meant something to you, but when you try to express your genuine gratitude, it seems like they don't really give a shit?

Or maybe you open up and share something personal with an older coworker or family friend along with some advice on a concern that you've been actively worrying about for them, but they don't acknowledge it or even act like they heard you at all?

Something clicked for me today, and now I think it's bigger than Poppop's Just An Asshole Sometimes.

I think there's been a huge shift in western culture around authenticity and genuine expression in the past two decades or so - the way we as a society and culture view it, express it, present it, and respond to it - that's causing minor intergenerational conflicts in our personal lives, but more importantly, major conflicts in our shared public spaces.

Hear me out.

1. Authenticity Then VS Now

2. Authenticity Becomes A Privilege And No One Tells The Boomers

3. Boomer-Meta and Why It Matters

1. Authenticity Then Vs Now

If you're on tumblr you probably understand nuance -

- so I think the concept of "authenticity" meaning something different to Boomers than it does to Millennials or Gen Z isn't baffling to you. it probably feels really familiar.

If you went to a US school in the 2000's, you probably remember the DARE program and anti-smoking and anti-drug ads on TV. And if you don't, you probably already have an idea of what I'm talking about. Things made by adults that felt embarrassingly out of touch to the children they were designed for.

As we all know, these all flopped immediately yet lasted the whole decade. (flopped except for the anti-smoking ads which I'll come back to) In retrospect, these marketing attempts says a lot more about the generation of adults responsible for them.

Things like the DARE program were, pretty transparently, designed to resemble what boomers remembered was "cool and interesting" from their own childhoods. My favorite example is Yello Dino and his video on "Tricky People" that's a painfully obvious homage to Fonzie from Happy Days crossed with Barney that's just as painful to watch.

youtube

Watch from 8:03-15:30 or so to see Yello Dino appear and sing a stranger danger song with the Local Kids™.

It's easy to look at this kind of thing and the DARE program and say "of course kids didn't fall for any of this, it's so poorly made; blatantly trying to sell an idea;" etc. But I think the core issue is authenticity.

Remember the anti-smoking ads? Those worked in the end because they featured people who looked like people we knew in person, with real problems from actions they really regretted. And that stuck.

But the Boomer "How Do You Do Fellow Kids" bullshit was never grounded in reality.

The approach they were trying to replicate only worked back in the boomers childhoods because everyone was seen as being genuine by default.

People in real life told the truth unless proven otherwise. Comedians on TV said things to make the audience present laugh. Singers appeared on TV so you could see them as well as hear them. People in ads were selling you a product.

Actors acted like their characters to portray that character "genuinely".

Why would they lie? Their job is to be that character. If they say they like Big Coffee Brand™, you might laugh as it's obviously an ad,

but you also then believed that to be true.

No, really. The section on Fonzie's wiki page bout Henry Winkler's involvement in social issues, titled "Civic Involvement," reads like a social commentary in a dystopian horror. There's little to no distinction between the character and the actor. Henry Winkler is Fonzie, and Fonzie is Henry Winkler.

So if you wanna be like Fonzie, you wanna be like Henry Winkler. You wanna smoke and drink and say what Henry Winkler does, because that's what Fonzie does.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Now, flash forward to the 2000's.

The police officers doing DARE were (mostly) never thrilled to be there. The anti-weed ads were so exaggerated that they seemed cartoony. Hell, some of them were cartoons, just unfunny ones. And most importantly, we were taught from a very young age that everyone is always lying.

"Never reveal personal information about yourself to strangers or online to protect yourself" turns into "Everyone is lying to you to get something from you" really, really fast.

People in real life aren't to be believed until they can prove what they say is true. Comedians on TV say things to keep themselves relevant and in the rumor mill. Singers appear on TV to sell concert tickets and promote albums. Ads use social issues that affect real people as marketing. Actors are people who are pretty and pretend to be other people in a way that's never convincing, but sometimes if they're feeling generous they'll let you know what they really think and feel.

So, why would anyone tell the truth?

Why should you?

2) Authenticity Becomes A Privilege And No One Tells Boomers

(Thank you for reading this far and I promise I'm don't with the edgy "everything sucks" poetry now)

So now we've all grown up into jaded adults who've been taught to not trust but to strive to "be your unique self" and that creates some weird social dichotomies.

If you want to be truly happy, you must accept yourself and do what you want to do.

....but then you risk being seen as a cringey fuck that gets laughed at on Facebook by your highschool classmates and all of your previous bosses.

All jokes aside, modern society prioritizes a readied public face now more than ever, and that's really exemplified in the Internet celebrity experience. Taking a mild stance on anything generates tabloids attention, and doing something the public frowns upon can ruin a person's career permanently. you're on tumblr, this isn't news to you. you get what I mean.

This consequently makes moments of genuine emotion and expression from these celebrities inherently risky - and thus, a much more rare occurrence. Moments of streamers getting scared by spiders or cockroaches blow up constantly because, I mean yeah sure it's funny, but it's also really REALLY difficult to stage a believable reaction to something like that. And that carnal reaction draws out the desire for connection in all of us. That moment of unfiltered response feels special - a brief glimpse behind the curtain.

And celebrities online know it too. Apology videos, let's plays, streaming - all of this media has a built in sense of authenticity that is vital to making it work. Authenticity is a premium social currency in this space, and that bleeds into our everyday lives as well.

If the most badass and brave thing your idols can do is to be sincere, then eventually, you'll probably feel that way too. It makes sense - sincerity is vulnerable. Choosing to be deliberately honest and emotional when you have no expectation to be is a powerful thing. At least, to most of us it is.

While this is all happening, there's an entire generation of people who are still experiencing the world like when happy days was airing.

Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Rachel Ray.......whatever other bullshit they put on TV, all of it begins to make more sense when you focus on their target audience - the middle aged and elderly.

Yes, really. Think of who you know in real life who absolutely loved The Big Bang Theory.

I mean, come on. This image makes me sad, dude.

Humor me for a moment. let's just run with my theory and say middle-aged and older people are all walking around as if everyone is always telling the truth to them.

Is it really that surprising that Dr. Oz was/is?? as successful as he was? As it turns out, believing everything to be true until proven otherwise is incredibly dangerous when applied to medical practice!

While we were growing up, the middle aged and elderly were spending their time being constantly self-absorbed and, just, unapologetically themselves. Which doesn't sound bad in theory, but it's really not as straightforward as it sounds.

3. Boomer-Meta And Why It Matters

So boomers are gullible. the sky is blue. why should you care

The point to all this is that authenticity is very important to modern society, and the difference of what authenticity means and how it's expressed matter drastically when understanding each other is vital.

Boomers were raised to always be genuine. If one believes themself to always be truthful, that lends to forming a bias in their own favor. And breaking the mentality down further, "I always say what I mean and I mean what I say" implies that what was said is what is true. And further, someone changing their "story" is an indicator of deception.

I've met plenty of older generation people who act like sharing their opinion is a gift in and of itself i.e. unwarranted comments on cooking or food, interjected advice about the conversation subject. Similarly, questions about the validity of a statement seem to often be taken as questioning ones morals.

This personal bias is very apparent in interpersonal situations. An attempt to be more genuine with someone who thinks this way would come across as staged and more insincere, and conversely, speaking with a clear bias appears superficial and ignorant.

But the real conflict is how this affects our news and politics. A core misunderstanding of what sincerity is and what it looks like, from either side, is dooms any conversation before it ever begins.

The lack of literacy in each other's values adds so much unnecessary conflict into already divisive matters. The stagnation in the legal progress of important social issues is probably worsened with so many of the US lawmakers being elderly themselves.

I don't have a great way to end this thing, but thanks for reading my weird essay.

The slow realization that a misunderstanding could be at the center of most major political conflict in the US consumed me for like 12 hours today and I appreciate you taking time to read my ramblings.

#i wrote a fucking essay and for what #ugh #i hope this was worth...anything to someone #i have NO idea how to tag this bro #long #generational conflict #baby boomers #millennials #gen z #zillenial #idk #Youtube

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scottykarve · 2 months

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About a month ago, I took a trip to Australia and met up with Ted while he was in the ward. I, against the instruction of the staff, recorded our interaction, but the audio was completely garbled. Gibberish to anyone but Ted and I, probably. Don’t use a spy pen from a happy meal if you plan to actually hear it back. Luckily, with my supreme memory assisted by what little I could hear, I was able to write out this thing. I guess transcribing audio logs is all tumblr’s good for? I wasn’t going to post it, but Ted was right, someone can probably make use of anything. So here, if this connects any dots, use it.

[Clicking sound, audio starts. Bitcrushed throughout, with intermittent loud plasticky sounds.]

Ted: Uh.

Me: Hi. Scott, um, karvingwood. Scott Kulver. I decoded the shit on the blog.

Ted: Right, right.. You- you’re American, though. How did you-?

Me: It was an expensive flight. Can I ask you some questions?

Ted: [pause, slightly incredulous huff] Slow down, I think I have some questions first? How did you find me? Why did you find me?

Me: Oh, easy, I asked the Star person on your tumblr. I needed to talk to you, so if I could just?- [the ‘wub wub’ sound paper makes when you flap it]

Ted: Fine, get on with it.

Me: Thanks. So, firstly- [pause, reading from notes I had] … Um, in ‘January’, the video doesn’t glitch when [hesitation] the Tall Guy’s around. What’s up with that?

Ted: I cou-

Me: Talk into the pen please.

Ted: Is that a mic-? ..eh, okay. I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t edit the video. Mmmaybe it had something to do with Virus? That was the first time I’d filmed meeting Him with the mask on. Maybe it interfered, or He just chose not to corrupt it.. Who knows.

Me: Okay, cool. Speaking of Virus, what is it like wearing, uh, him?

Ted: Like a buff in a video game. Invincibility or immunity or something. I don’t get tired, I don’t need to eat, I can be in His presence without feeling sick. It catches up when I take it off, but..

Me: When orr where did you get it?

[six seconds of silence]

Me: Oookay. New line of questions. When did you start seeing Ezra?

Ted: I was 18, so, uh.. God, must’ve been 2022? Early in the year. Kit recommended I ask to see her when I was getting diagnosed with depression. Said she was a great listener, stopped listening when they turned 20, for some reason, so they stopped going. Always felt like there might’ve been more to it. I wasn’t having the same issues, so I just.. kept seeing her.

Me: Kit.. I like the Murphys. Nice ride over.

Ted: Wh- you met them?

Me: Oh, yeah, Kit drove me here. Might see Freyja tonight. We saw a cat on the way, cute black one with just the biggest moon eyes. Reminded me of your little lady. Anyways,-

[quiet huff/sigh noise from Ted]

Me: -speaking of Ezra, [gesturing at arm] what’s the symbol been doing for you?

Ted: Fuck all, as far as I’m concerned. He shows up more frequently than I remember, but that’s probably just because the.. Yknow. Things keep on dropping. He’s like a vulture, just… showing up when something dies to take it.

Me: Mm. And your arm, how is it? Healing up?

Ted: It’s.. fine, I guess. The nurses replaced the bandages to make sure it can heal properly.

Me: Sick, good. That’d be a sweetass scar, but yknow. So the staff’s been treating you fine, I take it.

Ted: There’s a group of nurses I really don’t vibe with, but they keep their distance if I’m not alone.

Me: Makes sense. So, um, on the subject of bodies. [voice lowers] How did you start with the sacrifices?

Ted: [sound of chair scooting back] Jesus christ, say that any louder?

Me: Sorry.

Ted: [voice also lowers] …Look, I’m not going to give you advice on culty killing sprees or anything. The first one was an accident. Kind of. A bird. Swung at it, killed it, and when I found it in my suitcase of all places.. I offered it up, and He sure as shit showed up to take it.

Me: Mm. Has He showed up at all while you’ve been here?

Ted: Yeah, a few times. A few patients, uh.. [lowering voice again] A few nurses have died since I’ve been here. Not my work, I swear to god, but He’s taking them like they’re more sacrifices. Lucky me. There, um.. Three of them. Clearly not natural causes, either. One’s head was caved in, one had their throat slit, and.. And one was bleeding from the face. Something isn’t right here but if I can keep my head down I can get the fuck outta here. Last thing I need is to end up like them.

Me: I’d break you out if I could. [soft laugh]. Well, thanks for, um, your honesty. [chair scooting back sound] It was nice to meet you, Ted! [sound of notebook closing] I’m sure we’ll be-

[clicking sound, audio end]

#teds a great listener #would love to go back under less hospitalized conditions

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kaninchen-reblogs · 7 months

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It kinda sucks but it’s also kinda funny that the whole “identify as an attack helicopter” transphobic joke (if you can call it a joke) is a thing.

Cuz like, sure yeah identify how you want. It’s one of those “they’re so close to getting it” situations. The transphobes who use that “joke” are probably tryna make some kind of statement about how ridiculous some gender identities can be but it’s like… gender is fake lol. Societal gender is just as much of a construct as a helicopter.

And the other thing that sucks is that I feel like that whole “joke” ended up, like…. traumatizing even the weirdest and queerest parts of the community, I guess? Like, I know several trans people who find computers and robots and mechas to be gender. There is a thriving community here on tumblr that loves computers and mechas and other physical constructs and think it’s cool and gender and hot (and the new armored core game coming out definitely helped).

And I know my friends and a good chunk of that community would probably find rotary-wing aircraft to be gender, but they can’t — the shame, the trauma, the avoidance of stereotypes. You can see robots and mechas and find them sexy in a queer trans sort of way, but if you think the same of helicopters, you are cringe, a sinner, a stereotype, a dirty tranny who makes the rest of the community look bad. If that “joke” didn’t exist, I know damn well there’d be posts like “helicopters have cute snouts and have delicate inner workings and are high maintenance and that’s just so valid of them” bouncing around with 100k notes with people of all identities being like “omg yeah same that’s so me lol”

Idk maybe this stopped being a kinda-shitposty observation of the trans robot/mecha community and started being an observation about how stereotypes are harmful not just because they dehumanize the marginalized, but don’t allow those marginalized people to explore their humanity in ways that end up aligning with said stereotype. I mean, god, even just admitting that you’re sexually promiscuous (one of the most baseline stereotypes of queer people) gets you demonized by other queer people and you’ll get bullied to the point of locking up your social media or deactivating it within a week.

So yknow what fuck it, this is a positivity post now for weird stereotypical genderqueers. Have a neon sparkledog fursona OC. Point at random objects and call them “gender”. Have a bajillion microidentities. Feel a kinship with helicopters. The people who do attack helicopter jokes aren’t gonna respect us anyways, so we might as well have fun and be happy.

#this is both a serious post and a shitpost #because zero-sum binaries are also a construct and sometimes both things can be true #anyways I’m gonna go make my fursona even more flamboyant and gay and sparkly

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whiteboardartstudios · 10 months

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Redesigned my 2 Collector ocs! One of them isn't much of a Collector anymore, but I think they still count!

+Closeups!

(wow tumblr really ate the image quality huh)

So the one on the left is Half Moon, she/they pronouns, and the one on the right is Soleil, they/them pronouns.

So the general story is that Soleil is a young Collector traveling through the cosmos on their own, when they landed on a random planet with a single abandoned puppet. They tried to un-puppet her at first, thinking that some other Collector might have come around and Collected her already, but they soon realized that she's an actual puppet. To be honest, they were a bit disappointed, because hey traveling through space can be really lonely yknow!

Still, it's not everyday you can have a friend to talk to while you rest. So Soleil decided to stay with the puppet for a while, and they just talked about their adventures. A lot.

Then at some point some funky moon magic happened and Half Moon came to lifeTM and now Soleil has a friend to follow them on their adventures! Whoooooo!

So yea that's the general backstory, due to the funky moon magicTM Half Moon has some magic and she can use it to like fly and stuff, basically most of the Collector powers on a lesser degree minus the Collecting. Soleil is more outgoing and mischievous, while Half Moon is reserved and 90% of Soleil's impulse control (she's not very successful at it)

However, Soleil is also pretty unconfrontational, if someone bullies them they will just cower in the shadows and hope nobody notices them. Therefore, Half Moon does her absolute best to protect them from harm! She might not be able to fight the other celestial creatures floating around in space but she can sure make a spectacle with a bunch of light effects and explosions and that'll hopefully be enough to attract Soleil's siblings to come to the rescue (because yes I gave them a functional family. I think their siblings would be super duper busy with all the Collecting and Archiving and stuff but they'd try to make time for Soleil when they can).

Soleil has this funky little sun mask that orbits around their head like a planet around a sun, because why not (their name literally means "sun" in French lol I'm so good at naming things wow the most creative ever /j)

It's been a while since I last drew these two so I'm pretty happy with the redesigns ngl :) I like their vibes way better now :)

#owl house #???#owl house collector #collector oc #my art #character design #whiteboardartstudios #whoooo finally posting art content again #it's been a while #lol #anyways #byee ig

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skadream · 23 days

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happy ummm 8th month on t? (9th if i were actually on t continuously but i ran out for a month that one time) i used to do monthly t updates on tiktok but i dont rlly feel like doing that rn so i'll yap about it here (its actually wild how little stuff i have about my transition on my tumblr generally speaking? as if this isnt the website that transed my gender in the first place)

it really is hard to notice such gradual changes from month to month, especially if its just me lookin at myself, compared to seeing a doctor in person which, i am getting rx'd T thru telehealth currently as my nearest planned parenthood or even a neighboring one does not actually do gender affirming care which is. insane and whack. esp when i do live in a pretty populated county maybe second or third to nyc and albany area. and i have to call in to a pp THREE HOURS BY TRANSIT from me. but like, its been working for now ok!

mentally and emotionally ive been very up and down overall but i think thats largely due to my medication changes rather than hormones. ALTHOUGH. when i ran out for a month in november and my period came back... dude it was so horrible like genuinely the worst period of my life. its one of those things where i didnt realize just how dysphoric something could make me feel until i had a taste of being able to alleviate said dysphoria. so mentally speaking testosterone is probably pulling the mental train even more than the wellbutrin lol. and im trying not to account too much for circumstance/environment cuz like OBVIOUSLY if things were going smoothly for me there a lot of my emotional issues would be at least somewhat relieved, but im working with what i got.

physically, since starting t in july i have lost weight. at first i was very scared it was my medication, and i think a part of it was at least a little, like two of my meds can cause some weight loss, but i am no longer losing weight in a concerning way but just yknow the regular amount of daily fluctuation. so i do think a lot of my weight loss was due to hormones just shifting around my fat and all that, or something idk lol. everyones so diff with hormones, i know some trans guys gain weight on t and not necessarily from muscle training, i know girls on e who have lost weight without any changes to diet or exercise, it really depends so as always, this is just my experience etc etc

i do have more facial hair but its still quite patchy, i think i might start filling in my stache tho. with my shitty goatee, its not my fav so i shave it off when im not just sitting inside all day, but also idk it makes my chin feel less. round. or smth. i do always think of my one friend telling me ill look like the lead singer of a nü metal band and honestly maybe i should start giving that energy more anyway! embrace goatee lifestyle!

oh yeah my voice dropped in like the first two months and has gotten deeper since, and on timtom i talked a lot about wanting to maintain the vocal range i had pre-t? i dont think thats fully possible like i think the highest notes i used to reach are just inaccessible to me, but i think if i did some like vocal singing warmups i can get back up to reach those higher notes. in retrospect the way ive sung my whole life has actually prob been destructive on my voice, partly from lack of proper training and partly intentionally trying to sound deeper and more gravelly, but now that i can access deeper sounds more naturally i really do wanna work on singing in a better way where i can reach some of those notes.

overall yea im liking whats happening so far, i do wish it was happening faster but i understand that some people dont get the progress ive gotten for like, YEARS, and new progressions will be happening to me for years after today. if you think about "real" puberty, it is a gradual shift its not like you suddenly grow a chest as soon as you Bleed or whatever its different for literally every person and since im the only one in my family that i know of who has done this, im kind of a guinea pig. but like im okay with that! anyway yeah really recommrnd testosterone if u want it i like it :)

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