#you can take the girl out of her emo phase but you can't take the emo phase out of the girl

[kagejima]

IM NOT DEAD

YOU CANT GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY LMAO

It has been a WHILE since I was on Tumblr wowowow

Anyway, I'm eating nothing but cup noodles, pickles and the occasional London fog latte to sustain me. It's... rough. BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE MY WEIGHTED STUFFED SHARK NAMED KIRISHIMA WITH ME.

I haven't slept much, can you tell?

Also, you want this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRTAeoLw/

OKAY ILY BYE

🍠

Oh baby, make sure to eat something more nutritious than that sometimes :(((

ALSO SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP OVER NANAMI AND GOJO, 16 YEAR OLD ME WOULD'VE WRITTEN IN MY DIARY ABOUT THEM EVERY DAY. I WOULD'VE WORN EVERY ONE OF MY BAND TEES ON DRESS DOWN FRIDAYS AND HOPED THEY'D TALK TO ME FHDASJKFSD

#you can take the girl out of her emo phase but you can't take the emo phase out of the girl #🎤: 🍠 anon is recording vocals #🎧: rae's artists

[chromatic-corrosion]

Character/Show information found on Gooseworx's tumblr (part 1)

I went into Gooseworx's tumblr and made a list of all the info found on there so far.

Note: This will update as more and more posts are made.

Caine named himself before deciding that it's an acronym that stands for Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity (he thinks it makes him sound professional)

Caine does not have an age. He is an AI.

Apparently, Caine is likely the best singer out of everyone in the circus.

Caine would own a circus peanut shotgun.

Caine can't grasp the concept of irony.

Caine is not affected by "this statement is false"

If Caine could remove his clothes, he'd have nothing underneath.

Caine would only bite his eyes or tongue if he thought it's funny. Otherwise, they clip through his teeth

Caine is short.

Caine does not understand verbal pranks (example: 'Joe Mama', 'Updog' etc). Even after having them explained, he'd still take them literally.

Bubble speaks in reverse once in episode 3.

Bubble is a much simpler AI created by Caine

Apparently, Bubble is the biggest slut.

Bubble is Caine's little hype man

Bubble likes being popped.

Bubble is a boy

Out of everyone, Bubble is the most likely to wear drag.

The moon is an AI "like Bubble".

The sun can talk too.

Pomni's hat is a part of her body

Pomni does not like being touched

Pomni's first design looked liked a frog

Pomni's reaction to herself in the mirror isn't a positive reaction

Apparently, Pomni's hair is black.

Pomni is good at accounting.

Ragatha gives the best hugs

Ragatha has been in the circus the second longest.

Ragatha is older than Pomni.

Ragatha likes horses.

Ragatha can play the Cello.

Ragatha can see through her button eye.

There's a particular character who hasn't been revealed yet who's practically a Gooseworx self-insert. (He's the mean one...Jax?)

Nobody likes Jax

Jax doesn't have a tail.

Jax's colour is periwinkle.

Jax deserves to be trapped in the circus the most

There's nothing heroic about Jax.

Jax is morally the worst character in the show.

Jax is the youngest member in the circus.

Jax didn't enter the circus at the age of 14.

Jax mistreats Gangle the most because shew the easiest to mistreat.

Jax is afraid of corn because it reminds him of something called 'the farm'.

Jax is a troubled individual.

If you gave Jax an unholy amount of praise, he'd be confused and frightened.

Jax mainly bullies the girls because he has issues he hasn't worked out with himself yet.

Jax most likely went through an emo phase

Gangle like to draw, specifically anime.

Gangle only has comedy and tragedy masks.

Gangle's favourite animal is Azumanga Daioh.

Gangle has a body pillow with a character on it.

Gangle watched One Piece, and her favourite character was Chopper.

Kinger is not British.

Kinger is the tallest and oldest

There is an episode that heavily features Kinger.

Kinger and Zooble eat like a chao

Kinger saw the gastral giveaway in a vision after eating two spoons of gravel.

Kinger knows how to play chess.

Zooble almost gets no screen time in the first two episodes

Zooble's appearance is based on ZoLo blocks

Zooble has a 'zooble box' of parts in their room.

Zooble does not like hugs

Zooble has been in the circus the second shortest.

Zooble is very grouchy and irritable.

Zooble is half a year older than Jax.

Zooble is alright with any pronouns

Zooble would smoke weed if possible.

Zooble is the worst at giving hugs

Zooble is constantly trying out different parts.

Zooble is the most likely to punt Jax into the abyss at any given moment

Zooble can play the drums.

Zooble most likely went through an emo phase.

Zooble was a tattoo artist at one point.

Zooble was a stoner

Zooble most likely dyed their hair in the real world.

How each member of the cast would react if you called them 'adorable'.

Nobody in the circus is truly sane

Heres the casts ages.

Pomni - 25

Jax - 22

Ragatha - 30

Zooble - 22

Gangle - 26

Kinger - 48

The performers can feel pain

Every character has a reason for the way they act.

The cast doesn't have bones, but they do have a visible skeleton when they're being electrocuted.

The black queen chess pieces name is Queenie

Queenie being a black chess piece and Kinger being a white chess piece has no relevancy to their relationship. It's only a design choice.

Queenie and Kinger aren't siblings.

The abstracted and lost eyes only look similar due to limited creativity in creature design.

Abstraction can't be undone.

The abstracted all look the same

A gloink king exists. It looks exactly like a normal gloink and dies immediately after mating.

There's "technically" a worm in episode 2.

There are "many" characters in the show that we don't know of.

The typical episode length will be 21-25 minutes.

There won't be any romance on the show. Stop asking.

Some episodes are a '1' on the horror scale, some are a '6'.

Apparently, a character we haven't met yet is getting the next episode for them.

As of november 6th, Gooseworx says, "The plan is eight episodes total, one season"

Note that some of this info may have changed since posting (or may have been revealed in the pilot), some may change during the course of the show, and some may be joke answers. Please let me know if there's anything I missed!

#I DIDNT SLEEP TO MAKE THIS. :-) #the amazing digital circus #tadc #digital circus #TADC Caine #Caine #TADC Kinger #Kinger #TADC Pomni #Pomni #TADC Gangle #Gangle #TADC Jax #Jax #TADC Ragatha #Ragatha #TADC Zooble #Zooble #TADC Bubble #text #amazing digital circus #seasalt speaks #long post

[thechaoticdruid]

°•IF THE BG3 COMPANIONS BABYSAT YOUR KIDS!•°

Lae'zel

Congratulations your children are spending an afternoon at boot camp!

You can rest assured they will be treated fairly at least.

No favoritism going on here.

Anyone who misbehaves shall be sent to solidarity confinement and left there until....Idk

If they want a snack they WILL have to fight one another in a duel to the death.

Or at least until one of them falls down and cries.

To the winner go the cookies.

Or more accurately maybe some giant space hamster jerky.

Karlach

This is assuming her engine has been fixed, naturally.

The kids absolutely love Auntie K.

Legit can carry them all on her shoulders at once.

She gives the best hugs too and is always so nice and warm.

She is up to play any games with them! Especially ones where she pretends to be a monster and chases them around.

Very protective of the little ones.

Brings them new stuffies each time she visits.

You MUST remind her constantly to watch her language around the little ones!

Gale

Arrives via magic portal.

Brings Tara to help him.

Takes it very personally if one of the children don't like him.

Tries to impress them via magic and creates a magical illusion to entertain the kiddos.

Attempts to teach them everything he knows about the weave.

Takes it very hard if the children fall asleep during his lecture.

Must be consoled by Tara.

If any take an interest in the weave they immediately become his favorite.

You'll probably end up coming home to your home appliances floating or having some kind of enchantment on them.

Halsin

Yes he turns into a bear and lets them ride on his back.

Most time is spent outside enjoying nature and all of its beauty.

Will carry the littlest one on his shoulders at all times.

Always brings healthy snacks, mostly fruit like apple slices.

Proceeds to take them to a nearby pond to feed the ducks.

Widdles them little animal figures to play with.

No TV or video games. The thought of technology taking over their lives makes him sick.

We play outside or we don't play at all.

Doesn't mind them grabbing at his ears, if they can even reach them that is!

He has to remind one of them multiple times that he unfortunately cannot turn into a dragon.

Sad sad truth.

Shadowheart

Makes cute little flower crowns with them.

Helps the little ones feel better if any of them are afraid of the dark.

Is very good at comforting them.

Possibly might be one of the older one's first goth girl crush.

Badmouths Lae'zel in front of them shamelessly.

Always puts on a tim Burton movie or something for them to watch.

Definitely the reason for any of their emo phases.

They think she's really cool though.

Wyll

Always the first to volunteer to babysit.

Man has the patience of a saint and can handle even the most unruly of children.

Always talks them up and is very careful to never put them down.

Tells them all kinds of exciting stories of his time as the Blade.

Makes sure to adjust them to be suitable for the kiddos.

Leaves out the scary parts.

If any of them are mean to one another and can't get along he's the type to make them each say something nice about the other as a punishment.

Let's them play with toy swords and teaches them a thing or two about using them.

Never raises his voice at them. Is super calm and collected.

Loves them all to pieces!

Also may or may not take them out to get ice cream if they're good.

Astarion

Assuming this is Spawnstarion we're talking about because the vampire Ascendant would just laugh in your face if you asked him then slam the door on you.

Our sweet little spawn will also likely laugh and think you're joking at first.

"You seriously want a vampire to watch over your children?"

Assuming you pay him and be sure to give him big sweet puppy dog eyes he may consider it.

This man is a very not my child not my problem kind of guy.

Gets annoyed with all the children asking tedious vampire questions and responds with very sarcastic answers.

Does not approve of them wanting to touch his ears.

Agrees to let them see his fangs in hopes to scare them (the mischievous little shit).

The children instead think they're cool, which confuses him. He really isn't sure how to feel about it.

Threatens to eat them if they get on his nerves.

Spends most of the time on the sofa, boredly reading a magazine or watching television.

Miraculously takes a shine to one of the younger girls who call him pretty and compliments his clothes and hair.

This is also given the girl is a little mischief gremlin who pulls pranks on her older siblings.

He lets her paint his nails purple or red while she gossips about her mother/father's new partner or her siblings.

Unapologetically shows her favoritism and lets her sit on his lap and watch TV with him.

Will not bat an eye if the other children run a muck and destroy shit.

Legit just keeps watching TV. Probably some drama filled 'reality' show.

He actually finds the chaos caused by the children quite amusing.

One of the children somehow ends up on the roof.

Once the parents are home and it's time to leave. The youngest girl gives him a hug.

His eyes get all big and round and almost threaten to tear up.

Astarion is not asked to babysit again.

Sorry some of them are so short, I mostly write for Astarion so I'm not very confident at doing the other characters.

Hope you like it though!

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion #lae'zel x reader #lae'zel of k'liir #shadowheart #shadowheart x reader #wyll ravengard #wyll x reader #gale dekarios #Gale x reader #karlach x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 headcanons #baldur's gate 3 headcanons #halsin x reader

[formosusiniquis]

any cosmo girl would have known

“Oh she did it for sure.”

“Steve!”

“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”

“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”

“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.

“I know it's an awful show.”

Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.

“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”

“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”

“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”

“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”

“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”

“You said you liked it!”

“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”

“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”

“You weren't into that? Look at who-”

“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”

“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.

“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”

Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”

“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”

“And press play,” Eddie shouts.

“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”

“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”

“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.

“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.

“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”

“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”

His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.

“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.

“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.

“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.

No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.

#steddie #established steddie #fruity four #my fic #steve harrington #platonic stobin #this is not a modern au these are some middle aged adults now #it is 2001 and my dudes have to carefully schedule their hangouts #anyway i think steve the hair harrington would also make the elle woods solve #theyre the same flavor of autistic if were dipping into some personal hcs but thats not important #what is important is steve has the oh he did it accidentally predicts the bad guy of every movie ever nd skill #love that for him #unimportant to the narrative but lucy is definitely the steddie bio kid this is a transmasc eddie fic secretly #so anyway enjoy this barely edited ficlet i churned out in an hour

[lesbianbanana]

The second generation of Olympians are either closer to Hades or Poseidon in terms of domains (and myths). Let me explain.

Athena: Athena's closer to Poseidon. For all the grudges she seems to have against him, she was raised in his domain. It was in his domain that she found and lost her best friend, Pallas. For every argument they ever had, they fought on the same side in the Trojan War. They also share a number of epithets, mainly about horses. (Hippia, Hippios, etc). She's often like the sea in the myths she appears in, unpredictable and unforgiving. Sometimes, she aids, other times, she destroys those whose hubris gets the better of them.

Ares: Hades. Not just for the obvious "war kills a lot of people" reason, but because out of all of their siblings, Ares and Hades are the most villianized for their domains. Ares is constantly pushed to the side, hated on, revered in fear, the least liked out of his siblings, as is Hades, even though in reality they're pretty chill. (Ares is the ONLY male Olympian who hasn't raped anyone).

Hephaestus: Poseidon. Like Athena, he was raised under the sea by Thetis. He's the god of volcanoes, which are explosive and disruptive, just like the sea can be, but also dormant and peaceful, just like the sea.

Apollo: heres where it gets tricky, because Apollo is chaotic and everywhere all at once. In terms of friendship, he's definitely closer with Poseidon, having been sent down as a mortal in punishment with him. He even refused to fight Poseidon during the Trojan War when everyone else was whooping each other's asses. Apollo's rebellious, just like the sea. But Apollo is also associated with funerals and burials, being the god that protects the souls of the dead until Hermes takes them to the underworld, and also he's noted for causing sudden death, of children mostly. So there's definitely a darker, more Hades-like side to Apollo. In the myths, he's closer to Poseidon. In domains? Hades.

Artemis: Hades. Aside from the fact that she went through an emo phase during her Diana era, and got associated with a bunch of witchy underworld goddesses, most of her myths include murder. Like Apollo, she's credited for sudden deaths. Girl could care less lol.

Hermes: Hades. Hermes is the guide of the dead, enough said. He really has no connection with Poseidon. He's one of the few even allowed in Hades' domain. He's the boundary between life and death. Ancient Greeks put him on their gravestones.

Dionysus: Hades. He's equated with the Egyptian god Osiris (which, okay, crazy). he's also been directly said to be the same god as Hades. He'sa a god associated with rebirths, "twice born". Sometimes, he's a son of Hades. In Orphic myths, he's Zagreus. He's just so chthonic, you can't help but not associate him with Hades.

#little mind blurt #hades #poseidon #olympians #the olympians #Olympus #Athena #apollo #ares #hephaestus #artemis #Hermes #dionysus #zeus

[purple-scrunchie]

More Heathers Headcanons bc they're rotting my brain

Heather Chandler:

absolutely dogshit at croquet. Only plays to knock other people out

mostly Heather

*slaps roof * this blondie can fit so much anger

has a deep respect for Duke but sees too much of herself in her (and therefore as a threat) and doesn't know how to deal with that healthily

Has an older stepsister she's only met twice

They write each other letters and they're quite close

refuses to let herself or any other Heather date the football team (she says "we don't date the help")

secretly likes her friends but doesn't know how to go about telling them she loves and appreciates them as people

her love language is getting people matching earrings for their birthdays

Heather Duke:

ex dance kid (iykyk)

wrote emo poetry in 7th grade (she burned it all last year though)

queen of malicious compliance

knows a shit ton of card tricks

is not allowed to shuffle the deck on poker night

she knows what she did

queen of telling scary stories (has made Heather, Heather, and Veronica sob like little babies before)

had a photography phase too

still has loads and loads of undeveloped film left over in her closet from this

her dad used to take her fishing and she secretly still loves it

Heather McNamara:

hates swimming

hates water in general

This girl only drinks milk it's a problem

Has literally everything you could ever need in her bag

once mistook her mace for her sunscreen

never again

ex theater kid (she was really good but then got busy with cheer, which took priority because her parents said so)

used to want to be an actress

now she wants to be an equine vet so she can get paid to be a horse girl all day

Not stupid at all, just has a selective attention span

broke her arm when she got thrown off a horse in 3rd grade

Veronica Sawyer:

has all 3 Heathers in her contacts as 'Heather'

she knows what's from who based on the messages

her bag is so damn disorganized she's basically Mary Poppins

we're talking everything from extra snacks to industrial-grade superglue

wanted to get a tattoo but her parents said no

she got JD to do it for her anyway (it's a really shitty rendition of her childhood cat, JFK)

lives off peanut butter & jelly sandwiches

still falls for the toothpaste in Oreos prank

bit her nails until Heather got her that nasty anti-biting polish for her birthday last year

Jason Dean:

red sox supporter

owns a tattoo gun

owns a real gun too

and a signed baseball bat (too bad he can't read the signature)

should not own any of these items

best friends with the movie theater clerk

uses this to see so many movies for free

the definition of "I know a place"

likes to walk around in the woods

just fuck around and throw rocks and shit

He told Veronica that if he ever goes missing that's the first place she should check

#scrunchie's ramblings #heathers headcanons #heathers #heathers 1988 #heathers the musical #heather chandler #heather duke #heather mcnamara #veronica sawyer #jason dean #my blorbos

[restinslices]

LKBS AS FIRST TIME DADS

tried to make these as differently as possible

Bi-Han

His baby is planned so he's not as nervous as other people 

Bi-Han is ridiculously confident. He's helped with his younger brothers and he knows the basics of what a baby needs so honestly, he's pretty sure he's got this in the bag

He did not have it in the bag

Here's the thing; his younger brothers didn't depend on Bi-Han to survive. They had their parents. Plus, Bi-Han spends too much time thinking about his child as an adult warrior and completely skips over them being a child

This baby is depending on him and his partner at all times and they're a baby 

I'm gonna make them all girl dads because listen-

I think patience would be something he'd both struggle and be good at

He's patient when it comes to small mistakes, like knocking something over but he can be a bit impatient when it comes to developing certain skills and when they make bigger mistakes 

Y'all know how Kratos is hard on Atreus but it's because he cares and want him to be prepared for when he's gone? That's Bi-Han

He'd also struggle with saying things in a child friendly manner. I don't mean swearing, I mean he has to pause and think “how do I say this without hurting their feelings?”

He naturally has a harsh sounding tone so he has to try his best to not sound mean. He can't double down 

Since I mentioned speaking, he is not using a baby voice 

People get excited with their first kid and are like “oh my gosh look at my little baby!” and speak all high pitch but he's not doing that at all. He's using his normal voice and adult words with a newborn

Some people have nicknames for things. For example, when my nephew was younger we'd ask if he wanted “nom noms”. Bi-Han doesn't see the point in doing that. He's asking his toddler “do you want food?”

I can understand if people would think he'd be this super grump dad that hates all types of noise but in my head Bi-Han understands that kids make noise and cry. Does it annoy him? Yes. Is he screaming for them to quiet down? No. His world was never gonna stay quiet once he decided to start a family 

Speaking of yelling, I don't think he does it often. Bi-Han is the type to pull his kid to the side and quietly threaten them. Like when your mom would pull you to the side and say if you kept acting up in the store she was gonna whoop you in the bathroom 

He also has “the stare”

Shit gets shut down quickly 

The definition of “wait until I tell your dad”

He'd train his daughter like he'd train anyone else. He's not going easy on her. If anything, he'd be harder on her because she has more to prove 

There's so much he doesn't know how to deal with since this is his first child and honestly, that emo phase probably kicked his ass more than he'd like to admit

The bang, the extensions, the checkered wristbands, the studded belts-

It's embarrassing for him to mention how genuinely concerned he was. He had no idea what was going on and telling her to train harder didn't take the hair dye out her head 

Speaking of which, I think Bi-Han’s biggest mistake as a parent would be trying to mold his child into becoming a mini him. It's not because he thinks he's 10/10. It’s because he's a solid Grandmaster. 

“Back in my day we learned obedience” type shit 

The type to say “I hate when my dad did this” then proceeds to do it to his child 

He'd need help when it comes to emotional awareness and seeing his child as their own individual 

He may accidentally snub them of childhood moments they deserve. It's not with malicious intent, it's more of a “our enemies don't sleep so we won't either”

Imagine if him and his kid ended up having the same distant relationship him and his dad had-

Tragic but definitely possible 

Kuai Liang 

Probably also had a planned baby 

He may only want one child because he's worried he'll end up having another him and Bi-Han

Which is why I think it'd be funny if he had twins-

Follow me camera 

He's expecting one baby. That's it. That's all. 

So when it's revealed he's having twins, he's shocked and afraid 

Bi-Han’s betrayal did a number on him. He doesn't really know why Bi-Han was so angry. He knew about his frustration but he didn't know it'd go this deep and he'd let their father die. He's worried he'll upset one of them and history will repeat itself 

Him dying isn't the problem. The family breaking up is what he's worried about 

Because of this I think he'd accidentally become a helicopter parent

He's overly affectionate to his children. Affection is fine but he smothers them and watches everything they do 

He tries so hard to keep the family together, but it does the opposite. Now his kids are desperate for space. Both from him and each other 

Before we get to that sadness though, Kuai Liang is a great dad 

He trains them and if one has his powers and the other doesn't, he makes sure to not show favoritism 

Idk if he'd be corny enough to buy his twins matching shit. If he doesn't, Tomas will and he won't stop him 

Anything they give him, he's 100% keeping 

He uses a hair tie they painted pink instead of his usual one 

He frames all of the pictures they draw for him 

He attends all their little tea parties and let's them harass him about how much sugar is in his tea 

He doesn't spoil them but he doesn't not spoil them 

He doesn't give them everything they want but he'll get them stuff if it makes him think of them 

Like a doctor's toy he randomly saw 

He tries to be very active in their life when he's not busy 

He has safety plans in case his clan is attacked. They're at war and he doubts the Lin Kuei will spare his children 

I think all the brothers would let their kids know about their job and their responsibilities. No point on keeping it secret. They'll have to do it one day too 

Some parents get really sad when their kids grow up but I don't think he'd get sad. Idk, I just think he'd see it more as an accomplishment. Not everyone makes it far and he's always worried about their safety 

Remember when I said his kids would want space? 

This would probably happen in their teen years and he'd be so confused because wdym he still managed to fuck up?

I think how he'd feel would be a mix of “well they're kids” and “damn, I blew it” 

Overall I think he'd put way too much pressure on himself when it came to becoming a parent and this stresses him out more. At some point though he'd have to learn to let them be them and learn that honestly there's not much he can do

He does his part by being a loving father. He can't make them stay together or make them stay loyal. That's just the goal 

Besides that I think Kuai Liang would honestly be a pretty solid dad. He genuinely loves and cares for the people around him and it'd show with his children. He'd do all the dumb shit some dads are too embarrassed to do with their children. 

He's just a bit smothering 

A lot a bit-

Tomas Vrbada

He actually wants multiple kids 

He doesn't want a whole football team but wants his own little family 

His kid is probably planned too and I think he's possibly the most excited 

I can really see Tomas being a good dad and I think starting his own family that's just his would mean a lot to him 

Yeah he has Kuai Liang and their new clan and for a while he had the Lin Kuei but it's not the same. He wants his family that's only his and is related to him by blood 

So with that being said he's already reading books and watching videos before the baby is even here 

He still feels unprepared when she actually gets here 

First of all girl dad Tomas has no shame. Put the makeup on him. Dress him up in the dumbest shit imaginable. Have him do a duet with you. He's doing it all 

Overall he wants to give this child a way better life than he had 

His family was killed so the bar is in hell but moving on-

I think Tomas could accidentally spoil his child. Can y'all see it? I can see it 

My sources or reasoning? I just think he's the most likely out of the 3. He goes from “I'll give them a better life” to “and I'll buy this and this and this-”

Don't get it misconstrued though, he's still training them to be a warrior. War is everywhere and he got some shitty ass luck 

Imma be real… Tomas might be a leash parent-

I can see him getting tired of this kid running off and he gives up and buys it 

I can see him teaching his kid to do all that smoke shit and they accidentally fly up in the air 

This is another reason for the leash 

I can see Tomas feeling like an outsider with the Lin Kuei so he tries his best to make his child feel confident 

And that confidence can easily turn to arrogance 

He's complimenting their abilities at every turn and I think balance can be something that slips his mind. He's thinking “man I wish I got more compliments and felt more seen growing up” and takes it to an extreme 

So his child is now kinda a cocky asshole, which is something you may expect from Bi-Han’s kid but his would grow up being a bit insecure in a “I can never please him” way. Tomas’ kid is arrogant because “my dad is always pleaded with me”

It's hard to get right 

He's present in everything. Not in a smothering way though, he's just there 

If he has to miss any important milestones or events, he definitely tries to make up for it 

Like if he missed a dance performance, when he comes back he'll ask them to redo it in front of him 

He wants to be present for everything, even if it's small. Idk. I think he'd just really value these moments he'll never get back. He'll have more kids but he'll never see this particular kid dance ballet again 

He adjusts nicely to parenthood I think. It's a challenge but he's confident enough to take any failure he does on the chin and move on 

And if I said he takes the emo or scene phase really well, what are y'all gonna do?

Some kids do coke. Listening to BVB seems like the better choice 

Definition of a spine made of jelly 

Puppy dog eyes work with him. I don't make the rules 

I do, but moving on-

The spoiling part would kick his ass so bad. He'd have to get that shit under control at some point because it's like, no shit your child becomes defiant and spoiled. You give them everything 

They'd have a positive relationship overall. I think spoiling would be the main problem 

My thoughts are unorganized as fuck and I'd like to apologize because now I'm going back in time to say he'd take his child hunting as soon as he could 

His family hunted together and it was usually a nice fun bonding activity so he does it with his child 

I mention this for the first child because his judgment of what's appropriate at a certain age is so off

She's 4 and he's “saddle up. Let's go hunt this large unnamed animal!”

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy's-!

His child is kicked by whatever they were hunting 

Has to be reminded several times that his baby is not a buff grown man like he is that can take some damage. They cannot just thug it out Tomas 

Besides the multiple injuries and spoiling though, he'd be an alright dad with his own little family 

Probably plans on having another one once his kid is like,,, 2 because he's insane 

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han sub zero #bi han #kuai liang scorpion #tomas vrbada smoke #kuai liang #kuai liang mk1 #tomas vrbada #bi han headcanons #kuai liang headcanons #tomas vrbada headcanons #subzero Headcannons #Scorpion headcannons #Smoke headcannosn

[goldfishontheceiling]

some random reboot headcanons because I just finished season 1 but you can clearly tell who my favorites are

Lauren/Scary Girl is so transfem demigirl to me and I can't explain why

Lauren showed Damien smile HD and/or cupcakes and now he's traumatized

Damien got into science from those grow your own crystal kits

I feel like he has a favorite word

Lauren got Damien a cactus and he named it after the shade of green it was

Raj taught Bowie how to ice skate

Raj has absolutely no storage space on his phone so Bowie's always the one taking photos

Wayne will tease Raj about literally anything but if he notices Raj getting upset he immediately stops

They play wrestle CONSTANTLY (and Bowie has to watch and make sure nobody breaks anything)

Wayne LOVES pies

He actually gets pie for his birthday more then he does cake

Bowie wears perfume (sometimes)

He eventually starts understanding Wayne and Raj's hockey lingo after hanging around them so much

He most definitely took Raj clothes shopping atleast once

Bowie got Raj a fidget slug and he fucking loves it and takes it everywhere

Wayne and Raj started collecting fidget toys after that

Axel keeps having this recurring dream where she cooks and eats her neighbor's cat (this started as an inside joke but I kinda see it)

She cuts her bangs herself

Chase livestreamed himself reading fanfictions about himself with Ripper and Zee (it ended with Chase curled up on the floor crying, Zee trying to comfort him, and Ripper going on a rant about why Andrew Tate isn't an alfalfa male)

Chase has been banned from multiple public places including but not limited to: Disneyland, Disneyworld, every Walmart in Canada, most Targets, about 5 McDonald's, and two malls

Chase has low empathy, while Emma has high empathy, which leads to a lot of disagreements

This mf is like the JayStation of Total Drama of course he makes 3am challenges and dark web videos (and of course has gotten canceled)

His parents most definitely said that "boys will be boys" bullshit

Zee most definitely likes the emperors new groove

Actually, he likes a lot of movies, but he sometimes forgets that he's watching them halfway through

Zee's a skater, and really well liked at the skate park he goes to

Everyone assumes he hates water because of how much he drinks soda, but he doesn't and says that soda is just "more his vibe"

Zee's absosexual and agender with all pronouns

When I tell you Emma has Chase blocked on EVERYTHING I mean EVERYTHING

She has slight anger issues (and trust issues)

Emma really likes sunsets

Ripper has dandruff and I can't explain what makes me think that I just do

He's also dyslexic because I said so

Priya's parents were friends with Sierra and were super jealous when she got on the show, which led to them falling out

Sierra actually recognized Priya for this reason, and got into contact with her after s1 ended

Sierra is basically Priya' crazy aunt

Priya ran away after s2 because she didn't want to face her parents after losing, and she moves in with either Millie or Sierra

Millie makes video essays where she just infodumps

Nichelle is so cupiromantic idk why

MK has been wearing that same beanie since they were 9

They had an emo phase in middle school

Also non-binary they/she/he MK is so real

Julia and MK have so much Twitter beef

Julia sold her crystals after s1 (Damien bought all of them)

If you recognize her in public she will RUN

Blaineley is her wine aunt and you can't tell me otherwise

and some random charts

#total drama reboot #td reboot #td 2023 #total drama 2023 #total drama #anyway my favorites are bowie wayne raj zee scary girl and for some reason chase #i mean the multiple things he did to emma are wrong but he's just silly #anyway #gotta love me some headcanons #<- for blog organization #idk what else to tag

[leastdatablebracket]

SEMI-FINALS, MATCH 2

Propaganda under the cut!

Peter King

Propaganda

Oh I could go ON AND ON but here’s a list: He’s a stalker, he showed up late to a date HE REQUESTED, he killed either your landlord, roommate, or coworker (depending on route) and stuck them in a freezer, lied to the police about it, followed by a car ride either consisting of traumadumping about his family (valid tbh) or him talking about how much he wants to fuck your brains out, then you finding a bloody knife in his glove compartment, asking about it, and him smashing your head into the window to shut you up while he takes you to his house. He is The Worse Datable, as well as The Only Datable because well…he killed the others…and kidnapped you….

FUCK THIS DUDE!!! Country Human looking-ass bitch, I want him dead and obliterated

Many violence, Yandere behavior, cut your leg off in a semi-canon series of illustrations, smashed your head into the passenger side window of his creepy van, chloroformed you in your own house, brought you flowers that were probably tainted with his own blood, given context from another route. Generally a terrible person. Also just very strange to look at :/

He knows what he did….😒

He broke into Y/N’s house and chloroformed them. Generally a really creepy and perverted guy. TK is better :/

Send that man to Worst Datable Hell! Put him in the trash file (he’s a pseudo-sentient AI, similar to Monika, so this threat is valid)! He sometimes looks like a kicked puppy when talking to you, but with your small contributions, we can make him look even more like a kicked puppy! Vote Peter King for Worst Datable Datable Character today! Bonus: Funny canon facts about him! - He can’t swim - He’s allergic to peanuts - He has to wear glasses, but usually wears contacts - He had an emo/goth phase in high school - He’s a YouTuber; he does product reviews - He has very strong mother issues (understandably) - He will respond to and greatly enjoy the nickname “Cockbite” (there are many other names he enjoys, but this one’s the funniest to me)

Cullen Rutherford

Propaganda

stupid racist cop creep whose fans cry about how hes "changed" and "you can't judge him he was addicted to magic drugs" nah he still chose to be a racist cop and abuse his power over innocent people and i hate him. the writers making him romanceable in da:i after how blatantly horrible he was in da:o and da:2 is baffling but i guess they had to appeal to the part of their audience who watch those "mafia boyfriend" videos on tiktok or whatever

He's creepy in origins, though still 100% willing to kill the female mage pc he's crushing on, as well as all the other mages trapped in the circle with him. He's the second-in-command in an even worse circle in 2, listening to and defending the increasingly obviously insane meredith until literally the end. He's one of the people still pushing for the circle system by inquisition, and yes he's going through withdrawals and working through the traumas of previous games. And to be brutally honest his was the first romance i took and while i don't remember much from it, its not worth all the girls going absolutely nuts over knockoff terrible alistair.

He's basically a cop who thinks being born a certain way can revoke personhood and by Inquisition still thinks mages are monsters to be controlled, not people. He gets a fairy tale cutesy romance that focuses on his personal struggles with addiction while showing absolutely no regard to the atrocities he committed and still thinks were justified. He can be romanced BY A MAGE and his actions and beliefs are just glossed over. He believes mages are 'not people like you (Hawke) and me', but if the Warden was a female mage he canonically had a crush on her and would deliberately hang around her despite the fact that he was her *jailer*. If that Warden romanced Leliana, there is war table dialogue in which he pesters Leliana for news of his 'former' crush despite her repeated statement that she doesn't want to talk to him about her. All this shitty behavior and lack of introspection gets swept under the rug by the game, not even giving the PC the chance to really challenge his beliefs. Like damn even Fenris could apologize when he lashed out due to past trauma with mages, and if anyone has a reason to hate mages it's Fenris. If you want an ex Templar hottie Alistair is RIGHT THERE. Tbh I know Cullen is a popular romance and I'm not here to tell anyone what they can or can't do or like in a video game, I'm just saying I think he is deeply undateable

Spends the first two games as an antagonist, fervently devoted to the cause of subjugating mages, then a bunch of "character development" happens off screen and the games treat him like he's completely reformed. However he's actions make it clear he still sees mages as dangerous and lesser. Not to mention if you romance him with an elf he doesn't pay your culture more than lip service respect like most of the devout characters 

He was a total villain in the first two games who was violently prejudiced against mages and uses one single bad experience as an excuse for it (a bad experience that is pretty much exactly what he in his job subjected graduating apprentices to, mind you, but this is never brought up). Now he says he's changed, but his words and actions say otherwise. He still distrusts mages, sympathises with the rebel Templars trying to kill them, and he never owns up to the terrible stuff he did and helped others do in the past two games. He totally knew what Meredith was doing and says he doesn't, and he still tries to defend her intentions. And you have no option to call him out on it. If you romance him as a mage, he angsts about how he might have seen you as subhuman in the past but NOW you're one of the good ones, and when you ask him if he'll kill you if you get possessed, he dodges the question. And the PC is written as being almost sad that she's a mage? Like 'can you love me despite what I am??' Also if Leliana romanced a female mage PC in the first game who is still alive, he asks her creepy questions about their relationship. Fitting considering his original purpose was to be creepy to the female mage Warden. 

I hate him and want to cause chaos. Plus his VA is an asshole.

Cop

I think you covered almost everything but don't forget that beautiful moment in DA2 - Act 2 where you find out some templars had a petition to lobotomize all mages and Meredith, THE HARDCORE TEMPLAR LEADER, rejects it, but Cullen says they got a point. Despite the fact that we just found out that those templars were using lobotomy (or the threat of) to rape people and get away with it. And then Cullen in DA:I is whining that anything that happened it's not his fault because Meredith kept the worse away form him so he didn't know, but also that anyway Meredith had a point and did what she had to do. Meredith does not go mad until Act 3, before she was of sound mind and Culllen was her second in command BECAUSE he hated mages as much as (or even more) than her. What the FUCK did she even hide from you, Cullen. Oh, but he changed! Because the writers make A VICTIM OF THE TEMPLARS say so. And anyway he only says so BECAUSE HE READS MINDS not because Cullen did anything to show it. Also the narrative wants to sympathise with Cullen for his drug problems while Cullen is openly attacking the only other character with the same problem for...having the same problem. And he's the antagonist, so there were OTHER things Cullen could be mad about. But he is mad about the drug problem. Also I'm not an expert on writing characters with addictions but he is an addict only when it's time to have a cut scene where you pity him. Otherwise it has zero impacts on everything else.

#semi finals

[moonpetrichors-blog]

RFA + Saeran On Halloween

Tags: Headcanons, Halloween, Halloween Costumes

Warnings: None

Characters: Zen, Yoosung, Jumin, Seven, Saeran, Jaehee

What the RFA + Saeran would wear on Halloween.

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [02/12/22] ❞

Zen

Remember when Zen had a phase where he kept calling himself a Greek god?

He even edited his face over the statue of one.

Not to mention, he poses as Aphrodite on the April Fool's cover (mans better watch out for her 😭).

So, it comes to no one's surprise that Zen would dress up as an ancient God.

Of course he loves to show himself off, so he'll wear a sort of silky, white cloth draped around his body, paired with gold sandals.

He'll tie back his hair with a golden hairpiece.

Leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. His abs are on full display and he takes a bunch of photos lol

For some reason I can see Zen using body glitter?? If he was rocking up to a Halloween party, then all those lights are gonna be competing with Zen since he's the most shimmery one there.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Yoosung

Chat Noir.

I'M SORRY HE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE ADRIEN AGRESTE

I took over a year off and cut you bitches some slack 🤯

TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND, SHES BAAAAACK 😍🤞

No but fr Yoosung would dress up in a cat costume for Halloween

Maybe not necessarily Chat Noir, but he would have the fake ears and all

His outfit would consist of one that is dark (Yoosung emo era)

Omg but can you imagine if he put on makeup for his costume

Yoosung with smudged eyeliner?? SIGN ME UP

I think it'd be so funny if Yoosung and Saeran were friends and (timelines aside), he'd point to him and be like "hey I look like you lol"

Ugh imagine bromance between them two. Like Yoosung can't do his own eyeliner for the life of him so Saeran does it for him instead 😭

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Jumin

See, I don't think Jumin would dress up for/celebrate Halloween at all, but for the sake of these headcanons he will because I said so

He's dressed as a vampire.

But, not just any vampire!

He's a vampire dressed as a brooding dark lord in the Victorian era, living alone with his cat in some high, high castle. (I'm a sucker for some Victorian vampires)

In this high castle of his (*cough* penthouse), he swishes his red wine domineeringly

I think Zen would tease him for his costume because if you thought Yoosung looked emo, Jumin takes the cake. And he's wearing eyeliner!

Does an evil spin on his wheely chair while petting Elizabeth whenever anyone disturbs him

He looks ✨expensive✨

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Seven

There were many ideas I had for Seven's costume.

An astronaut, honey butter chip packet, nun.

I think he'd make a cool zombie though

No I didn't decide this because of the zombie song (maybe)

He 100% goes trick or treating, except he just goes around scaring little kids,

While also stealing their candy in the process.

Like, he just sneaks up behind them right after they've left a house, and roars a Frankenstein-esque roar.

Forget the clowns of 2016, Seven is the one getting written about in news stations

Immediately gets a stomach ache after he eats the hundreds of candy he collected (stole, rather)

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Saeran

Okay, listen.

I know this might be a little bit biased,

BUT WHO CAN SAY NO TO A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SAERAN?

Like oh my god he is literally so gorgeous in this costume

His hair is gelled up and styled to one side, and he's wearing a sleek black suit

He's also wearing the iconic white mask

His pants have chains on them because just yes

Saeran wearing suits isn't an uncommon theme, and while Suit Saeran isn't exactly one of the best versions of himself, I think it'd still be cool if he incorporated chains in his POTO costume.

Okay maybe I'm really biased

Side headcanon, Saeran is an avid musical fan.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

Jaehee

Like Jumin, I can't see Jaehee dressing up for Halloween

Poor girl is always working she doesn't really get time to celebrate fun holidays like these

On the off-chance she can, she would be a witch

Basic dark colours with some purple accents to her outfit

You know the type of gloves and stockings that Misa Amane wears?

Yeah. Imagine Jaehee wearing lacey and gothic-style clothes incorporated into a witch costume.

I'm really just making everyone dress alternative in some form lmao

If homegirl had a broomstick she'd probably imagine smacking it over Jumin's head. Repeatedly

#↳˳☁️;; ❝ headcanons ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: #zen #hyun ryu #yoosung #yoosung kim #mystic messenger #707 #saeyoung #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #jaehee #mm jaehee #jaehee kang #jumin #jumin han #saeran #saeran choi #mysme #mysme jaehee #mysme saeran #mysme luciel #mysme jumin #mysme zen #halloween #spooky season #this is kinda late #woopsie #headcanons #mystic messenger headcanons

[cryptic-bonez]

Jules posting again because I have massive brainrot of this creature. (Bonus Mica posting!!)

This time it's Headcanons and dynamics I think fit the characters. My girl Mica is underappreciated me thinks, so I'm gonna fix that.

Reminder that these are HEADCANONS! They aren't actually canon to the characters themselves, and this is just information about the character's personality and background that I think fits them. If anyone wants to add theirs, feel free, because I love reading peoples headcanons and comparing notes! :3

Fair warning, the last two of Jules' headcanons are a bit heavier, so trigger warning for SH and dysphoria mentions! There are also Hemophobia and Emetophobia mentions as well

Jules headcanons;

✧ T4T, or just an overall preference for a Trans/Genderqueer partner, pansexual possibly

✧ Has a pronounced accent when he's angry, excited, singing or acting. Like he definitely has one, but it comes out more when he's being expressive if that makes sense

✧ Definitely looks back at his old clothes from his emo phase and almost cringes because of how bad the style he used to dress in. He just fixes everything up with other absolutely ruined clothes and makes them better.

✧ Cleaned and donated his binders for sure! I feel like he'd deep clean them and everything, gives em away to other trans teens/young adults in need

✧ Studed gauges, spiky earrings, just.. out there and absurd jewlery that somehow goes so well with his outfits

✧ Was definitely a cowboy almost every year for Halloween growing up.

✧ Active protester against waste dumping! Very vocal about it too! Even makes awareness posts online and such! Made a GoFundMe to help protect land, especially indigenous land or ranches!!

✧ When he dances, it's not just generic or free style dancing. He's like.. expressing his emotions and soul with it, letting his body move without thinking about it. Like Goth dancing would be, but more expressive and fluid and just overall freeing if that makes sense

✧ Still finds glitter everywhere because he's probably spilled some as a child when doing arts and crafts. They're a very artistic person, me thinks.

✧ Definitely had his nipples tattooed on instead. You can't tell me they wouldn't find a really weird, goth or just overall funky design for a tattoo to replace their nipples after post op healing. Something like a skull, or a cowboy hat.

✧ Loves any kind of animal. Doesn't have a preference. Probably somehow tamed a bearded dragon when they were younger?? And they just. They just had it as a pet for a while. His parents never found out for a while either?? Until he just brought it out like "hey look! This is my new pet!". They also screamed the first time the bearded dragon shot blood at him from it's eyes. (Yes they can do that. Yes it's weird. And yes it's also cool)

✧ Plans on getting tattoos on his surgery scars. Animal skulls or something like that, a mix of alternative/goth and western.

✧ Probably had an unhealthy way of coping with dysphoria. Binded a lot more than he should, stuff like that.

✧ more than likely has a few scars from sh when struggling with self image and dysphoria. He's been clean for years now, and he most likely got tattoos over the scars because they accept that part of them, and they aren't ashamed of it

some Mica headcanons because my girl is swag and deserves some recognition!!

✦ Genderfluid, any pronouns. Doesn't even care if you call her an "it" (probably takes it as a compliment)

✦ Used to be irrationally scared of horses until she met Jules

✦ Hates house parties, only goes for the drinks, food and if Jules is going.

✦ Neurodivergent! Probably has a sleeping disorder too

✦ Has a scorpion belly button piercing. And a scorpion tattoo as well. They're her favorite arachnid

✦ Prefers reptiles or arachnids as a pet, but would totally foster black cats. Most likely pagan/wiccan

✦ didn't talk to Jules for a week because he showed her the bearded dragon defense mechanism. She fainted.

✦ Hemophobia + emetophobia (the fear of blood & vomit)

✦ either has the nicest nicknames or the most rancid god awful nicknames for her friends.

✦ Drives a hearse! Decorates it for festive stuff. Also named it (She'd name it something like Salaman or Pamantha just because it'd be funny)

✦ Mild scoliosis and chronic back pain probably. Has to wear a back brace for it

✦ Enjoys costume design! Makes her own clothes from scratch

✦ Supports small businesses/creators/artists. She has a lot of skincare products from indigenous businesses to support them.

✦ Very vocal about protesting against waste dumping and using land for things that'll harm nature in general! Goes to protests with Jules. Even has social media platforms to help spread information and stop waste disposal on indigenous lands

✦ Supportive of Jules getting into his culture! Very interested in learning about customs and traditions. Also goes to festivities to be his emotional support friend

✦ Was a theater kid in middle and high school, started her alternative phase in 6th grade(she boasts about this to Julien sometimes just because)

character dynamics; Julien + Mica

Hates the theater kid stereotype but unknowingly plays into it + Also hates the theater kid stereotype but doesn't play into it.

absolutely terrified of spiders + loves spiders

neurodivergent + neurodivergent = chaos

Hates porcelain dolls + has a porcelain doll collection

Bone collector + specimen collector

yallternative + alternative/goth

Accident prone + "What did you do this time?!"

Stupid + also stupid

Grew up on a ranch + grew up on a farm

loves horseback riding + prefers to watch instead

bites to be affectionate + bullies to be affectionate

#jules jourdain #dc pride #circuit breaker #mica #jules jourdain the man that you are #headcanon #character dynamics #two best friends #they are neat me thinks #the brainrot is real #a.l. kaplan #the man that you are

[mountaincryptid]

initial thoughts on benidorm 2024 participants. under the cut 'cause it's gonna be looong

Almacór

his genre i don't listen to often, but sometimes a song can hit me regardless. not many expectations here tho

Angy Fernández

first of all, she had an emo phase in 2008-10, so we STAN

(sidenote: ever since i got the new phone i basically gave up on trying to take screenshot without that volume sign it's so hard :(()

I also listened to her most recent song (Dualidad) and based on that the potential of me liking her song is HIGH

Dellacruz

could be some good pop. mildly excited for him.

Jorge González

based on the songs i've heard and the vibes i'm getting from him is we're either gonna get a standard basic latin pop song or a bland ballad (every benidorm needs to have a conventionally attractive man with a bland ballad, maybe he's the one)

Lérica

their most popular songs are collabs and i don't like to base my opinion on artists only on those, but i'm vibing. i found some songs that are just by them and i like them less. oops. there's still some hope i like their song tho.

Mantra

their music feels like that type of pop that's pleasant enough to play in the background but it just doesn't do much for anyone. (anyone maybe being just me, idk.)

María Peláé

unfortunately i don't really vibe with flamenco, so unless the lyrics hit me just right she's not gonna be one of my favs i'm afraid. sorry.

Marlena

first of all, their name was inspired by one of my fav Måneskin songs (Torna a casa), so congrats on good taste girls.

unfortunately, their music doesn't do much for me

Miss Caffeina

when an artist has a big discography i like to check out both their most popular and the newest stuff (if they're not one and the same). unfortunately, i liked their most popular song (from 2016) more than i liked any of their most recent ones. based on that, i don't have a lot of hope i'll love their song, but who knows - anything can still happen

Nebulossa

An Una Voce Per San Marino reject at Benidorm is too iconic tbh

I hope she's not out of tune at Benidorm and I love the 80's vibe. I'm already predicting it to be eurofans' guilty pleasure and/or the meme of the season.

Noan

okay with 5 artists left i think he's the one i'm rooting for the most at this point 🤞🏻 i like his general sound. is it slightly worrying that my favourite song of his (zero) is a cover? yes. (the way i went from 'oh hell yeah' when hearing the guitar to 'oh no i've heard this before'...) but i'm hoping and praying he's gonna deliver a true gem for benidorm.

Quique Niza

the intro on rtve's website says he has background in musical theatre and honestly that's already at least +10 points of adoration in my book. he only has one single out (under Quique Gonzalez) and it's pretty average. still, he's still a bit of an enigma musically, so i'm not losing hope we're gonna get something captivating from him.

Roger Padrós

oh some linguistic diversity finally. we're probably gonna get some mellow pop song or ballad in catalan from him. it's most likely not going to be a fave unless the lyrics hit just right.

Sofía Coll

i'm not feeling the vibe, sorry.

st. Pedro

i can't explain it logically but his song could be a huge hit for me. or a huge miss. not sure what direction his song is gonna take, but in general i like his vibes.

also, this is very important, he has a christmas album !! thank you for feeding me i'm a christmas music aficionado

Yoly Saa

hmmmm.... i feel like it's also gonna be the case of hit or miss based largely on whether or not the lyrics hit just right.

#eurovision #benidorm fest

[gaykarstaagforever]

I watched (500) Days of Summer, which I never saw. In 2009 I was at least the generational target for this, in that I'm around the same age as JGL and Zooey Deschanel. I think I missed it because at the time I was too edgelord for what were marketed as romantic comedies. Plus it gave off serious Zach Braff indie hipster energy and I was out of that phase and annoyed by it by like 2005.

I remember discourse on here about it more recently than that. Which makes sense, because it is a pretty good movie I think everyone in their mid-20s (especially men) can immediately relate to. Sad that those men probably won't see it like I didn't, because they are too X for movies without blue sky beams.

The cast is good and it is well-constructed, with only a couple awkward things. Narration wasn't necessary even if I know why it was there (evidence of main character Tom's view of himself as the star of the world). And the movie doesn't need to keep stopping to explain what it is trying to say (at least, not to me, because I am super-smart and never entirely miss the point of a movie). But I like the non-linear progression and the unexpected surrealist moments, like the dance number with the animated birds, and the parody French New Wave movie.

The ENTIRE MOVIE is peering into and out through Tom's perspective of reality, and he is a kid pretending to be an adult who can't feel anything without it consuming him. What he thinks he knows is just media tropes he has consumed and egotistically forgotten didn't come from reflecting on his own experiences. He considers himself the player character in a video game where anything he does with other people is only a success when he "wins" something. He takes relationship advice from his little sister as if she were Yoda, because she is precocious and eager and he is too immature to know the difference between that and actual insight.

And none of this is bad or makes him a bad person. This is simply a complex definition of being young. Tom is young, and doesn't know how young he is, and is annoying and emotionally manipulative because of that. And aren't we, weren't we, all? Growing up is growing through that and learning to laugh at the emo baby goon you were.

Now, my question is, does the movie know that? I'm not sure. Sometimes it seems to appreciate how Tom is the cause of and solution to all of his problems. Other times it seems as if trapped itself in Tom's pissy sexist immaturity, blaming Summer and society and the media for why pretty girls are impenetrable mysteries who don't ever get how intense male creepiness is what devotion IS, dammit!

It was like the screenplay was written by a guy who was almost over a divorce. But not quite. And while that may be an emotionally honest tone, it muddles what I think they were hoping to show. Not that Tom isn't in his way a victim, as we all are, of the times and places in which we live, and of the whims of other people. But the degree to which that matters seems far more irrelevant here, where it is clear that the great bulk of Tom's issues are him being a desperate selfish man-baby who thinks of women as trophies and toys to satisfy his need for play.

A movie from Summer's perspective would be very different. She is young and selfish too, but also demonstrates a healthy self-acceptance. She knows who she is, more or less, and knows what she is about, more or less. ...Until she doesn't. But that isn't flightiness or mysterious feminine wiles. That's a person doing life. We are ALL like that. Summer seems to understand that about herself, at least better than Tom does about anyone.

But again, the fact that the movie has named her Summer, and Tom meets Autumn at the end and appears poised to go off not treating another woman as an actual person, tells me the movie itself is, at least in part, as not self-aware as Tom. And that is a little frustrating.

If you are yourself a young man, or an old man who never grew up, and haven't figured it out yet, women are humans with human feelings. They are only mysterious because you aren't paying attention to them and are holding them to a standard where you expect them to be the solution to your emotional problems. And that is YOU, not them. And how can you expect to ever love or be loved by them, when you aren't regarding them as people? Because love is between two people. If one of them isn't a person to the other one, whatever there is will never be love.

I don't think Tom learns that, and neither does the movie, even when it shows his expectations vs his reality at Summer's engagement party.

...Which, okay. Yes. Summer should have told him that was what it was. But this is all from Tom's perspective. Maybe she tried and he wasn't paying attention, as usual, too caught up in his own doggedly persistent obsession with being coupled to her.

(500) Days of Summer is at least an accurate portrayal of what it is like to be a young dummy in love. It is valuable in that, and has some wisdom to impart about the foibles of that. I just wish it was as smart as it hopes to be. Because the world is cruel and imperfect, and Summer used Tom in a way he clearly couldn't handle, and she should probably not have done that. But what Tom is doing to her is way worse, and what he is doing to HIMSELF is, while inevitable, his biggest problem of all.

An interesting movie, at any rate. Worth exploring.

#500 days of summer #joseph gordon levitt #zooey deschanel #movie review #rom com #is it? #2009

[disastress-i-guess]

Shit post about a stupid dream under cut.

In my dream the saiki family were celebrating Christmas. Kurumi and Kuniharu were in an argument which lead to thier Christmas tree being set on fire and Kusuo puts it out. Kurumi says she's mad at kuniharu for not doing anything special for her on Christmas (oh and being the one who set the tree on fire that too I guess) and then it cuts to a scene of the saiki family over a story book which told the above story. Kurumis all ' oh I'd never do that's and Kusuos like ' yes you would' because lo and behold the story actually happened :O. And the reason they're reading the story instead of living it is because of Kusuos powers. Then the dream morphs into my own family doing some kind of celebration and my lil bro misbehaving so they kick him out. And I'm like did you seriously leave a 3 year old to fend for himself? And my parents are like oh were not worried we have a tracker on him and we check where he's at and he's in some kind of apartment complex looking for his cousins except his cousins are at our house ( y'know the one we kicked him out of) for the celebration. Anyways he gets to the apartment complex and just phases through the walls and tries to help people out? At this point the dream morphs back into saiki K and it's baby Kusuo and kurumis looking at him through some camera being all proud over her baby helping people except the helping is really just scaring people. Then it morphs back into my family and the wierd phasing through walls thing is explained through my baby bro having shapeshifting powers. Except people can still recognise him ( y'know like in that one really popular post about the button) so my dad gets thrown in jail for leaving a three year old by himself. Then the dream turns into Dolly Parton bringing her shitty boyfriend to some kind of family dinner. They're playing some sort of word game in the middle of the woods and he's pissed that he's losing cuz he's shitty like I said. Anyways he gets mad about losing and sets the dining table on fire and they're in the middle of the woods so the fire spreads. The dream then morphs into a bunch of people who look like stereotypical native Americans ( like in Pocahontas and other old movies y'know just general bad rep) and one of those native Americans looks like lilo from lilo and stitch. Everyone's running around trying to escape the fire and this girl who looks like lilo but taller ( in this context she's lilos older sister in those ways you just know shit in dreams) ( she looks like half an inch taller than lilo ) sacrifices herself to the fire and the fire stops. So now everyone's looking for Dolly Partons shitty boyfriend who set the fire and they turn to him and he's a little emo kid in a hoodie. And again in the way you just know shit in dreams you know that this kid is responsible for the fire ( but by accident unlike shit bf) but he was brought here in these woods by taller lilo. So everyone's decides to leave the kid alone because they can't punish him but the kid has nowhere to go and he doesn't know the way out of these woods. So the people are at this crossroad where they have to decide whether to take in this kid and help him like taller lilo would have wanted them to or to abandon him in the woods because he caused the death of taller lilo. And then I woke up.

#so anyways lots of dinners and celbrations and fires #posting this here vecause saiki k is still somewhat involved #but not tagging it

[remythelad]

I'm in love with a girl who is transphobic. We grew up in the same cult and we're never truely lost touch and we've been playing video games everyday and everytime she laughs I melt. I know it's love and yet she's still in the cult. She was homeschooled, she was never really allowed on the internet and now that we're both grown I can see how I was lucky to have friends and a support system to help me realize I liked women and that I'm trans. I'm now an Atheist and she doesn't know. While playing a game online the other day with a few people including her she said I love you kind of joking because I gave her a gift in game and someone said how lesbian of you to her because I'm not out yet and she didn't say anything homophobic and a part of me uses that as proof that she's alright. I don't know for sure that she's transphobic or homophobic, I've met others in the cult who are a lot more lax they just don't want to leave the community they grew up in because they personally aren't LGBT+. I just feel so like myself when I'm with her. Everything but my name. It's freeing to grow up with someone because the last time she saw me in person I was in my emo phase and she doesn't make me feel like I need to be anxious around her.

I just love her so much and I can't feel any anger at her for being transphobic because she never had a chance to grow or change. I just want to be that chance for her but I'm too afraid that If I come out she won't feel the same. Will she hate me because I know she loves me, but I'm too afraid to put love to the test. I'm still scared that her love for me is on the condition that I'm the cis girl she thought she grew up with.

I feel like sometimes I get passed the existential crisis that comes with losing religion and I can get passed being ready to cut off my family. I feel like I'm not being trans enough for allowing myself to be misgendered by her. I just have so much empathy for people who grow up like me. I know her, I know how damaging the cult was but I keep letting her damage me.

IDK maybe it's super stupid to take shit from people just because they grew up in a cult but I just can't lose her

[takenbyheartstrings]

YOUR GIRL.

summary: When Haz proposes a deal to Tom; one he can't refuse. To sleep with a girl to benefit his family, his brother. Except for the fact that you don't trust people. You'd never trust anyone the same, until him. and then it all comes crashing down.

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader (university au!)

warnings: SMUT!! fluff, ANGST, mentions of cheating, manipulation.

word count: 11k (2k is smut!!)

authors note: finally got this out!! tysm for your patience! had to repost cause tumblrs tags are messed 😭😭

Your life would’ve been better if Tom Holland hadn’t been in it.

That was the honest truth… but he was, and there was nothing you could do about that. He had infiltrated your life like a fucking parasite. It wasn’t even by his own mind; it was by someone else’s. How fucking stupid could you be? Thinking that someone like Tom could actually fucking love you.

How pathetic.

Eight months ago, your stomach churned as Jean rummaged through your clothes. She’s throwing things around, making your room look like a mess. You want to roll your eyes and scold her, but you have to go against your own thoughts. You promised her you would go to this stupid game.

Soccer.

One of the world’s most uninteresting sports… to you at least. You were never a big sport fan. Never big on the games. Never big on the spirit. Your wardrobe consisted of different articles of clothing. Some that would make you look like a presumed emo, and some that would make you look like a clown – take your pick.

You never liked school spirit, never had any sort of desire to do anything but sit in your room and watch your favourite movies, cry over sad songs, and eat ice-cream. Just like a girl in a rom com, except, you weren’t giddy or made of sunshine… you’d been through too much to be the way you used to be.

You also made a vow to yourself to never date a guy until you get out of school. Your last relationship ended badly. Ended with you beginning to not like other people, ended with you only wearing black and going into a deep dark phase in your life where you wouldn’t leave your room for weeks at a time. It was horrible. Relationships are horrible.

The way you can out your trust and love into one person, connect on a deeper level than you can with anyone else. Who’s ‘I love you’s hold more meaning than anything in this world. Hold more weight. You hold a deeper connection with them through sex and secrets and being together all the time. You want to be with them constantly. Feel the love that they give you because your friends and family just aren’t enough anymore. The connection you hold with another human being is so, so, so important.

…and one minute later they can turn their back on you and stab it. Break any connection the two of you had. Break all the trust and meaning that a relationship should hold. Break everything. Turn your whole world upside down because you think you know someone and then you don’t. You just simply don’t. Because your relationship had been a lie. Because the whole time as he whispered ‘I love you’ in your ear. Had his fucking cock inside of you. Held you close after you came and cleaned you up. It was tender and honest.

…and all a fucking lie.

He was sleeping with other girls the whole entire time.

You tried to forget it, but clearly nothing worked because that’s what that four-year relationship did to you. After you walked in on him with someone else. After you saw his dick inside her fucking vagina… God, now, you could only laugh at it.

You had gotten better. You started getting out more. Started living life. Jean was a massive part of that. Helping you come out of your shell. Your first year of Uni was a bust because of some fucking cockhead, but it’s been four years and you’re almost done your studies. Ready to get the absolute fuck out of here.

But you promised her. You promised Jean you would go to the game.

You kept your promises… unlike, some people.

“Jean, can’t I just wear what I’m already wearing?” You question your best friend.

She runs a hand through her ginger locks, “No offense, but you look homeless.”

Your mouth is agape, “Take that back!”

“Sorry… Sorry… It’s just Haz is really sweet and I, I dunno…” She trails off again, “Fine, we can leave then.”

You sigh, reluctantly picking up a skirt and stockings, a tank top to follow and you grab a cardigan, and yes, it’s all black, but it’s better than going naked or embarrassing your best friend, even though it’s kinda shitty that she’d assume you’d embarrass her because you’re wearing sweats and a big t-shirt with Biggie on it. But hey, she’s under stress, she’s got a boy to impress.

You quickly change, sliding on a few rings and a necklace, putting on some makeup and walking out of the bathroom and put on your favourite pair of shoes, “Better?”

She smiles softly, “It’s perfect, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

*

Tom’s breath hitches against the air as the team warms up quickly before the game. He was a little tired, but he knew once the other team came onto the field, he’d feel a little bit better about himself, and he’d also get that familiar rush of adrenaline.

But for now, it was just push ups and laps.

Tom was known to sleep around. He was indeed a man whore. Not that it was a bad thing. Just a lot of girls knew. He was usually respectable. He was usually nice about it. It was more like the girls were assholes to him.

He always kind of dreamed about a life like a rom com. Finding the one. Finding the perfect girl. Tom believed in soulmates. Even though it sounds fuckin’ stupid… How is he going to find her when he’s sleeping around with girls?

That’s the thing.

They always start out as dates.

Tom has probably been on one hundred and forty-seven thousand dates in the past year… maybe that’s exaggerating a little, but that’s what it felt like.

They didn’t pay attention to him, only his body, what he had on display. He was a star soccer player, he had to be. It was a part of his scholarship, but it’s not like that fuckin’ helped. People saw this version of Tom that wasn’t Tom at all.

He was constantly hoping for someone to love and someone to treat right. He needed love. Tom always felt this disconnect from these girls he was sleeping with, sure, it he was connected with them… but he didn’t have connection. It was all Tom could ever want.

Tom’s heart pounded as he thought about what it would be like to have someone cheering him on in the stands. Walking to class with him. Holding his hand. Kissing his forehead or his lips. Lulling him to sleep as they talk for the rest of the night. Memorising his coffee order. Clinging onto his torso in their sleep, his arm around her, pulling her close. Never letting her go. Watching movies together on the couch. Texting. Calling. Facetiming. Going fucking grocery shopping for god sakes. He just wanted someone to love.

… Someone to love him.

He shook his head as he try to continue practicing. But he couldn’t get the thought of someone loving him out of his head. What’s new? He never really could. Late nights were spent living in a fantasy.

The Proposal? He’d thought about that actually happening to him. Ten Things I Hate About You? He’d probably die. How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days? He would die. If he could sing, he’d probably think of La La Land, despite it not being a romantic comedy, something more of a romantic tragedy of right person, wrong time. He cried himself to sleep that night.

That was the thing, Tom was living in an absolute fucking fantasy. A fantasy he couldn’t escape.

He sighed standing up as Haz met his eyes, walking over, talking off his gloves, “Mate,” Harrison starts, “My girl, Jean is bringing someone today. Real closed off, never talks to anyone… y/n? I think her name is?”

Tom’s head goes off like a little lightbulb, you were in his film studies class, “Right, yeah, no, yeah, I know who she is. Always sits in the back of the room.”

Haz nods, “I’ve got an idea.”

Tom knew exactly where he was going with this, “Mate, I’m not gonna sleep with her.” He was sick of it.

“Why not?” He asks his friend.

“Because she’s a human being. I’m sure she’s nice and all, but she’s not really my type either. She’s like this goth chick.” He feels bad about what he’s saying, had you heard it, you’d probably be a tad bit upset. But it was true. That’s what you made yourself out to be. That’s how you felt.

Harrison rolls his eyes, “…and? You never know she might be a fucking freak in the sheets.”

“Don’t talk about her like that, man, she’s your girls friend.” Tom sighs, spraying some water into his mouth, trying to catch his breath quickly.

Haz only shrugs, “Look, mate, I heard she hasn’t even gone out in a year. Make it worth her while. I dunno, what? I’ll give you money.”

“Mate!” Tom’s face churns, “You should not be trying to make me a prostitute?”

Tom goes to walk into the locker room to put his stuff away and get somewhat prepared for the game, as he walks, Harrison calls out to him, “What if I helped you help your brother?”

Tom’s brother, Harry, hadn’t gotten into Uni. Accepted in, but denied scholarships. Tom’s family wasn’t the wealthiest, but Haz’s family was. You were just another girl, right? Another girl he could only sleep with to help his brother get into school. This was like the trolley problem. Use somebody to help your sibling get into school, or let your sibling suffer and leave the girl alone… It’s not like you would find out… right? He’d just have to sleep with you. That was easy, he did it all the time.

Tom turned around carefully, “Mate, that’s… that’s too much.”

Haz shakes his head, “Would barely make a dent.”

Tom sighs, “Why are you doin’ this, mate?”

Haz lets out a small laugh, “It’s just a bit of fun, don’t worry,”

Tom didn’t know why Harrison was actually doing this. Why did he need some sort of ulterior motive to help him out with his brother? It sounded stupid. It was stupid. But Tom shook his head. You were cute, you were pretty. He’d never talked to you before, so he could assume that you were nice.

Tom was silent for a short moment, his stomach spinning in circles, he honestly felt like he could feel sick, but the words slipped out of his mouth anyway, “Fine… I’ll do it.”

Harrison smirks, “Great, now, I’ll only do this for you if you have sex with her. S…e…x.” He spells out and Tom nods understanding, “Intercourse. Coitus-”

“I’ve got it Haz, let’s just focus on the game, yeah?” Tom feels disappointed in himself, he could pull out of the deal. But he thinks about his brother. He thinks about what he was doing for his brother.

*

You and Jean are walking to the game, your shoes hitting the floor, you’re slightly cold and your cardigan is there to protect you. From a distance you can see the football field. You grew up around all of it. Yet, somehow, it just never slithered its way into your life. Your dad would always scream at the TV with your other dad, and it would always make you smile. That they were so happy together. They were the only two people who gave you some slither of hope for love.

You were getting closer and closer to the field before you stopped in your tracks, “Maybe I should go back, I know I promised, but I’m starting to rethink this.”

“C’mon, y/n!” Jean grumbles, “You might meet someone here! Haz has got friends. Cute friends.”

Your jaw drops a little, “So that’s what this was about? Getting me out to meet someone?”

She shakes her head but also nods, “I mean, kind of? But I also wanted you to meet Haz! You’re my best friend.”

“Doesn’t excuse your fucking behaviour. Love is bullshit.” You crossed your arms over your chest, pulling your cardigan closer to your body.

“Your dads wouldn’t say that, now, would they?” She questions you.

You roll your eyes, “Whatever, I’m gonna sit there and watch the game, I’m not talking to anyone but you and Haz.”

She huffs, “Fine,”

The walk down gives you more anger in your step and it’s thick. What kind of friend was she to do that to you? It wasn’t fair that she was pulling you here without your knowledge that you’d be meeting someone. You knew you’d just get fucking broken again. You hadn’t been on a date in years. There was a reason for that. Seems like she just forgot everything you told her about your Ex. It was frustrating. It frustrated you.

You finally got to the field and Jean pulled you by the gate where she met who you could assume Harrison’s lips with a chaste kiss. Your arms were still crossed over your chest as she pulled away and flashed you a quick smile. Your deep red lip curled into a smile of its own. Your white teeth glistening underneath the light of the field.

“This is y/n and this is Haz.” Jean smile between the two of you and you give a short wave.

“Heard plenty about you.” Haz smiles bashfully sticking out a hand, but you’re not quick to take it. Hesitant, actually. But you did in the end.

“I could say the same.” You give a tight-lipped smile.

“Well, the game’s about to start, so I better head off.” Haz smile shortly, pressing another kiss to Jean’s lip.

“Wasn’t that bad, was it?” Jean turned to you a questioning look on her face as your smile fell and you deadpanned, not an inch of happiness showed.

“Absolute hell.”

The game was boring as you suspected. People got up and cheered around you, but you stayed seated. Not understanding what was going on, nor even wanting to understand what was going on. You wished you had brought your current read, or some earphones to block out all the screaming. You had a playlist calling your name. One with lots of sad music. Not because you were sad, but that’s because what you listened to. It was something you had always done. You would be happy and put on the most tragic song. It was weird but oddly comforting. SYML always was and so were many other bands. Not to say you didn’t listen to happy music or rap music. But what took up most of your brain was the sad mellow tune of the piano and how beautiful it sounded accompanied by the voice singing next to it.

When it was over, Jean insisted that you wait with her for Haz. You only agreed to because it was in the middle of the soccer field, and even if you hated horror movies, you had seen them and you knew it was best not to leave her alone… for your own piece of mind. What you didn’t expect was for Haz to call her over to the locker room and leave you alone. A figure doing laps around the football field.

Tom caught your eyes as you stood leaning against the metal fence, you were watching him peculiar, curious, questioning. Probably wondering why, he was still running around rather than taking a shower in the locker room. He started making his way over to you and before you could even blink, he was standing right in front of you. His curls were wet from sweat, and even being drenched, he didn’t really smell. The grass was slightly wet, and you gave a light glare.

“What’re you still doing here?” Tom questions you.

You’re confused as to why he’s talking to you. Honestly, any guy like Tom at this school would rather be caught dead than talking to you. It was different when you were with Jean, because everyone was friends with Jean… just not with you. Maybe it’s because you dressed the way you dressed and it would be weird to see you without that deep red lip of yours and although you didn’t really wear eyeshadow, that liner on your waterline remained. It was a deep red lip, waterline, and mascara. That’s all you would wear on your face… what was the point? You weren’t looking for anyone and nobody was looking for you. Especially not the best player on the soccer team.

“Waiting for my friend… why are you still running around?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“Didn’t know we were playing twenty questions,” He quips.

You scoff, “You wish we were… answer my question.”

“Helps me calm down after a long game… Dunno why, don’t ask. Plus, I’m also waiting for a friend.” Tom smiles sarcastically, “Who’s your friend?”

“So, we’re playing twenty questions.” You chuckle, “Jean…who’s your friend?”

“Harrison Osterfield.”

“So, Jean’s boyfriend?” You scoff, “You’re Thomas Holland.”

“You’re Y/n L/n.” He retorted, “…and you are much prettier up close.”

It surprised you that he knew your name, let alone complemented you on your appearance. You had to be honest, you were fighting off the urge to smile, but you couldn’t so instead it came out as a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

You shake your head, “Nothing… I just never… forget it.” You spot Jean and Haz walking out of the locker room, “We’ll there she is…”

Haz presses Jean against the concrete wall that leads inside and puts his lips on hers. She laughs against him as he lifts her, holding her in between his legs.

“…and now I have to walk back by myself.” You smile soft before beginning to walk away.

“You don’t have to…” Tom calls out to you.

You whip your body around, still walking, but this time your steps are backwards, “And that’s supposed to mean, what?”

He looks down at his boots, “I could drive you.”

You scoff, “I’m good.”

“Cmon, it’s dark and you’re a woman who’s all alone on a college campus.”

“See, that would be really flattering if I couldn’t defend myself.”

“Never said that… but why would you want to risk it?”

There it was… he made a point. A good point actually. Yes, you carried around pepper spray, but why would you want to use it. If there was a safer way to get home, why wouldn’t you take it? Your dorm was only ten minutes away by drive. Thirty minutes by walk… it was clearly better, you had decided you would, even if you only knew Tom for five minutes he seemed like a promising person. You’d never heard a bad word about him. He’d made a nice impression on you.

You pretended to ponder for a moment, seriously considering your options, “Fine. Take me home, Holland.”

He smiles looking over at the locker room, Haz and Jean had disappeared… shit friends.

“Come with me to the locker room. All the boys are gone and I’ve just gotta get into a fresh pair of clothes.”

“Not gonna shower?”

“Unless you wanna see my dick.”

You raise your eyebrows and cross your arms over your chest, “You never know.”

Tom’s forgotten all about Harrisons little offer, he was genuinely enjoying talking to you. He’d heard things about you. Not all good things. Not all bad. Talking to you personally was different, you were nicer than the rumours had said.

Tom let out a genuine laugh, his stomach hurting a little bit, “…That’s a good one.”

Letting out a sarcastic smile, you sigh, “Thanks. Just hurry up and get changed so we can leave, starting to get a little bit suspicious of you now.”

Tom lifted his shirt over his shoulders and head, his biceps bulged as he did so and although he was turned, the muscles in his back clenched, he could probably feel your eyes on him and as much as you tried to redirect them, they kept floating back, they kept floating and grazing over the shoulder blades that were pulled and tense. How they were knife-cutting sharp. He left his soccer shorts on, which was probably for the best.

Tom smiles at you as he picks up his duffle bag, “Shall we get going then?”

“Please.” You sigh and the two of you leave the locker room, “

The work to his car is short, and quiet, and slightly awkward as neither of you know what to say. You try to break the ice, “So how far away is your dorm?” You question him.

“We’re in dorm block four, how about you?”

“Three.” You smile softly, “Two minutes away from each other.” Your phone dings and you get a message from Jean. You immediately groan, close your eyes, and take a second to breathe.

“What’s wrong?” Tom questions, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Jean just sent me the sock emoji.” You throw your head back, “She’s kicked me out! She’s shagging Harrison!”

“Did not need that mental image.” Tom’s face squeezes in disgust, the idea of, well, it wasn’t really a bet? But it also was… although, Haz got nothing out of it except for pure enjoyment. Whatever it was, it came back into his head, “You could come back to our dorm… if you want.” He plays it off as if his plan wasn’t in motion already, it wasn’t, but now it was.

You weigh your options once more, stay with Tom or walk around the streets of London at ten thirty at night, “Sure… just don’t murder me or whatever.”

He chuckles, “Planned on it, not so sure anymore.”

You roll your eyes, passing your dorm block, wishing you were going there instead of having to spend more time with Tom, “Very funny.”

*

You and Tom sat in his room, it was littered with posters and pop vinyls of marvel movies and rom coms. Spider-Man sat on the back of his door and a La La Land one sat next to it. The Spider-Man poster had you screaming inside, but you couldn’t let him know that… the La La Land poster, however, it caught you off guard.

He was one of those people. He was one of those people who believed in love. Who believed in romance? He was a hopeless romantic, it was so fucking obvious. The two of you were sat on his little twin sized bed. He was playing some music softly in the background, munching on some popcorn, and the only light that was in the room had been provided by the lamp on his nightstand.

Tom sighs offering you some popcorn and you reluctantly take some, “What’s your favourite song?”

“Back to twenty questions?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Maybe.” Tom shrugs, “So… what is it?”

“We Have It All… Pim Stones.” It comes out breathy.

Tom furrows his brows, “Isn’t that a sad song?”

“Well, yeah… I’ve always been into sad music. I dunno why, I always used to gravitate towards it when I was younger. I love the guitar and piano, and I dunno…” You trail off, quickly crossing your arms over your chest, “What’s yours?”

He scoffs, “Easily Tear in My Heart-” You cut him off quickly.

“Twenty One Pilots.” You give a nod of respect, “Why that song?”

He chuckles, “It’s so… I dunno, it’s a love song, it highlights how love can be pain, but it also tells you that love is beautiful and meaningful.”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, yeah,”

Tom’s hand rests on your thigh, and you freeze up slightly, “Favourite movie?”

You smile, “Don’t have one.”

“Favourite genre?”

“Don’t have one.” You lied – you were a fucking film student, of course, you had a favourite genre of movie.

“What makes you different?” He questions, “Why don’t you have a favourite movie or genre of film or why are you so kept to yourself? You’re a lovely person.”

You heave a dry chuckle, “…You’ll need to know me better before you find out, Holland.”

Your faces are dangerously close, his breath hot as his next words slip, “I’d like to know you better.”

Your lips are on his, well, his lips are on yours and you let it happen. You even kiss back for a moment, but you quickly pull away… you kissed him like every other girl before him and you shake your head in disgust? Of yourself? Or of him? You weren’t sure, but you stood up and Tom jumps.

“I’m sorry.” Tom pouts, “I-I…”

Your laugh is poisonous, “You should be…” Your face softens, “Why’d you do that?”

Tom wants to tell you the truth, but he hides it… It’d make him seem like an asshole and he was actually starting to like you. Regardless, of your walls, which were clearly built, he enjoyed your company. He was talking to you. He saw you as more than what Harrison made you out to be and he was falling hard for you already. He’s only known you for three hours and he’s already falling for you.

He's a hopeless romantic… it’s in his blood.

“I dunno, it just felt like the moment… It, I dunno, I should’ve asked.” He sighs, clearly actually sorry.

You sigh, sitting down back on his bed, you didn’t know what to say or do. You knew what his reputation was like, but he didn’t seem to match the description at all. You thought about it for a moment… kissing him again. When you tried to shake it out of your head, it came back like a parasite. Maybe he was right… maybe it was the moment.

You take his chin and turn his face to yours, “It’s okay… I actually didn’t mind.”

*

You and Tom didn’t do anything.

You didn’t kiss again; you didn’t sleep together. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

You actually opened up to him a little, telling him about your favourite songs and your favourite bands. Your favourite movies and he freaked when he found out your favourite genre of film was superhero movies. You gave off this dark exterior and it blew his mind when he found out you went to the theatre alone on the opening weekends of Marvel films and cheered along with the crowd. He quote-on-quote said: “So you’re not all thorns,” Which made you blush a little bit, but he was right… you weren’t.

It had been four days since and you and Tom were together like, all the time. It was weird having someone else in your life other than Jean. But it was okay. Like you were a little bit happier. Tom gave off this energy and even if the two of you had to stop so he could talk to someone, he made it up to you by talking a little bit more in the next conversation. He was this happy, go-lucky, person and it made your heart warm, it made it flutter.

You were nervous about it. You were fucking terrified. The kiss hadn’t left your mind. Not at all. You thought back to it all the time. You felt wanted in a way. The kiss was soft and plump and tender. You found yourself thinking about it every single time you saw Tom.

This is bad.

Is it, though? You questioned yourself. Is this bad? Or is this what I need? To give myself to someone who wants me. Start something with someone who wants more than sex. You could see that from the way Tom treated you. You’d known him for no longer than five fucking days and he’s treated you the best you’ve felt in a long time.

In these five days, you’d drifted to sitting next to him in your film class. The two of you would snicker and laugh together quietly while the professor explained stuff you would usually listen to in your seat up the back. You didn’t know how he was doing this. Making you feel good, making you happy. God, it was so stupid.

You were so stupid to believe him.

But we’re not up to that part of the story yet. Right now, we’re up to the part where the two people are in love. Nothing can come in their way. It’s a honeymoon. It’s the bubble where they are invincible. Where the girl is falling so effortlessly for the guy, whilst he hides some damning secret that is bound to destroy them both, turn them both inside out and make everything real. Popping the bubble.

“Tom, how fucking fast are you!” You call as he pulls your hand, running.

Currently, it is six forty-five and Tom is pulling you to the quad. As you get closer and closer, you can see there’s a big screen and people getting set up with blankets as the sunset falls behind you both, you realise what’s going on.

Jean had told you about the movies under the stars the University was going to hold. Said she’d take you, but she was going with Harrison. Yet, when you got there, you couldn’t see either of them. They’re probably off fucking somewhere else. You hadn’t seen much of Jean lately. She was spending so much time with Haz and you, well, you were spending nearly all your time with Tom. You didn’t like not seeing her. But she had a boyfriend now.

Tom smiled as he watched you realise what was happening, “Now, hear me out… we don’t have to. We can totally go out to a diner and eat shit until we can’t move, but I thought this would be fun.”

“Depends on the movie,” you say, quirking an eyebrow.

Tom blushes whilst he looks to the ground, and finally lets you meet his gaze, “La La Land.”

You roll your eyes, “Now I’m gonna feel bad if I say no! I wasn’t but imagine I hadn’t asked.” You let your smile burst as Tom pulls you close.

This was his favourite movie. You’d be a fucking idiot to say no. How could you, though? The way he looks at the ground when he blushes. The way his smile can light up a room, and the way he pulled you to this so spontaneously. The two of you were on the way to that Diner he was talking about, before he pulled your hand and started running in the other direction.

He was a hopeless romantic. He was holding your hand and running to the other end of campus. It was like a scene from a movie.

Tom’s mind was yelling at him. It was yelling at him to stop thinking about you. Stop pulling you closer. If you knew how your friendship started, you’d flip your shit. You’d never speak to him again. Never trust him again. You’d opened yourself up little by little over the past few days. You were telling him more and more about yourself. It wasn’t much. It was favourite foods and sodas. What you enjoyed doing. But he was getting to know you.

Something a lot of people might not be able to do.

He had no idea why you were letting yourself get to know him – hell, neither did you. There was something so compelling about Tom. That pulled you in. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, it was like he felt something electric, when your lips touched his. There were sparks, like actual sparks. Tom had never felt this way before. But he was actually falling for you now.

So, the way it started wouldn’t ever matter, right? Because he was actually falling for you?

Harrison practically put him into a corner. Sleep with someone you don’t know or fail your brother? How is someone supposed to do that? Abandon their younger brother. The choice was pretty obvious, but now that he was starting to know you. To know who you are. He felt fucking horrible. What was even worse is that he wanted to sleep with you, but he didn’t want to tell Harrison if the two of you had. But if you got into a relationship, Haz would find out anyway. So, he was fucking doomed.

He wanted to pull out of this so bad… but he kept thinking about his brother. How his education was important too. Just as important as you. The girl whose head was lying on his lap as they watched his favourite movie of all time and hummed the words. Even though he found out you hated musicals.

How his fingers toyed with your hair and his eyes lingered on your face. He’d seen the movie probably over five-hundred times, so he didn’t care if he wasn’t watching. He just wanted to spend time with you. This was all he wanted.

*

“Harrison, I want out of this.” Tom said as he walked into his dorm. The two of you had split no longer than seven minutes ago.

Harrison was thankfully, sitting alone, if Jean was here, he’d have no idea how to explain himself.

“What do you mean?” Haz asks him, acting confused, but they both know he knows exactly what Tom is talking about.

“My brother is fine… We’ll find some way to get him the education he deserves, I can’t do this to y/n. I can’t let her suffer or sleep with her and have it not come from my heart. Because it does, it comes from my heart and if she finds out about you threatening me to keep this going… I… I… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Haz lets out a dry chuckle, smoke evaporating around him, the apartment smells like grape as Harrison throws his vape onto the couch, “Dude, you are seriously willing to let your brother go like that for some girl you met like five fucking days ago?”

That caught Tom off guard, “No. Like I said. There are other ways.”

“Tom you’ve tried every single way. He got accepted into Uni and nobody can pay for it… Nobody but me, and I asked you plain and simple to do something. So just fucking do it.”

Tom shakes his head, “She’s not easy, Haz. She’s not just willing to let me get in her fucking pants. I’ve been getting to know her and she’s amazing. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“She’s never gonna find out, mate, chill.”

Tom felt a pang in his heart as he hears the way Haz talks about you… But he’s got a point about his brother. They literally have tried everything to help him get proper education. He wants to be a lawyer, do great things. He needs to go to Law school, get his degree. He can’t do that if nobody can pay for his fucking tuition. It made Tom’s heart and stomach churn in disgust, that Haz was threatening him like this. Holding him to a wall.

Tom was quiet for a second before speaking again and making his way to his room, “…Fine. I’ll do what you want.”

Tom slammed the door before he could hear Harrison speak anymore.

What was he going to do?

*

The next weeks were hard for Tom, but he’d usually forget about the whole thing with Haz. Sometimes he’d remember, whenever you made some dirty joke, he felt a pang in his heart. Whenever a sex scene came up in a movie and you’d cover his eyes as a joke. He felt his heart burn for you. He felt himself yearn for more than what the two of you had. But he felt like shit. He wasn’t trying to do this so that he could only sleep with you. But he knew that if you knew about all this shit, that wouldn’t matter. None of it would matter. He wanted to distance himself away from you. Push you away so that you wouldn’t be hurt. But he couldn’t there was so much about you that was changing because of him.

The two of you had known each other for five months. Five months and so much about you had changed.

Your hair was out of your face, and you wore a smile daily now. The deep red lip stayed the same, but you’d pair it with a cute shade of eyeshadow. Black wasn’t really in your closet anymore and when it was, it was your converse and a pair of jeans. Maybe a tank top or a t-shirt. You started to love the summer around you, you started to tolerate the musicals Tom would force you to watch. You slept over at Tom’s dorm all the time, and the two of you would go for walks around campus, just because. You were finally returning back to the old you. The happier version of you. The version who made a room light up just by walking inside.

Tom had noticed it a while ago.

But he saw it the first day you wore a blue tank top and a white pair of jeans.

Your clothes reflected the way you felt.

Before you felt like this empty, broken void, and now you feel like the sun. Tom had given you some sense of happiness and purpose. For a while you felt like you were just drowning in water for so long, not being able to lift your head up and take a breath. Not being able to breathe. You felt so suffocated by the world around you. Not having anyone to put real trust into. You felt yourself opening up more than you ever felt possible. It was new and scary, and you were worried. Worried about what this meant for you. But it was Tom. Someone you had spoken to every single day for five months. Someone who texted you random pictures of memes or pictures of you sitting at your table in the library when he came to pick you up and drive you to your dorm. Someone who walked you to about almost every single class you had. Someone who tends to carry your things. Someone who opens the car door for you. Or the door in general. Any door actually… Someone who made you laugh so hard your stomach was in cramps. Someone who made you smile so hard your face hurt and your stomach flutters every single time he walks into a room. Or looks at you. Or does anything actually.

You had fallen for him.

“Tom.” You started, carefully playing with the rings around your fingers as you sat up, pulling your head off of his shoulders, “Can I tell you something?”

Tom nods, putting his hands over yours, quickly peeling them off to turn down the movie a little bit, so he could hear you properly. So, you could talk, “Anything.” He confirms.

You bite your lip, and you can already feel your eyes starting to water, tickling the brinks, “My ex-boyfriend. He uhm, we broke up, like, ages ago… but he cheated almost the whole time we were together and I- I became closed off. I used to be the same as you, love everything to do with love. I used to celebrate valentine’s day and have him home for Christmas. It’s funny, actually… we were together for so long, it’s actually how I met Jean… She didn’t know, and I don’t blame her. When I walked in on them together, she spat on him and slapped him and comforted me while I cried. I know she was the other woman. But she was only one of I dunno how many,” A dry chuckle escaped your lips and you felt Tom’s hand tighten around yours, “I know it was fucked up to trust the girl my boyfriend slept with, but it turned out really well… and I guess this is leading to me trying to express that I don’t feel love a lot. But I feel love when I’m with you…” You trailed off softly, your voice going quiet as you looked down at your hands. Toms hand goes slightly limp.

He moves closer to you, cupping your face, “I feel love when I’m with you too.” He whispers. His breath now hot against your face, “…Can I kiss you?” He asks you softly.

You only know how to nod, speechless. His lips finally on yours again, like they were not too long ago. They’re softer and sweeter and taste like the popcorn he was eating, like, ten minutes ago. His hands run down the side of your body as he pins you on his bed. Your kisses were becoming shorter as he started to pull his lips away, kissing your neck. Soft little moans coming from your mouth. His lips burnt your skin carefully, they peppered your neck like candy. Sweet.

You hummed another moan as Tom’s hands slide under your shirt, pulling it over your head, kisses on your chest, “Is this okay, love?” he asks you softly as you look down at him, your eyes shining.

You nod a small smile, “Yeah, ‘s good.”

He presses another kiss to your chest, moving lower and lower, his leg is in-between your thighs. As the two of you kiss, your bodies are grinding together, his leg pressing against your pussy as you feel it grow wet. Moaning against his body. You feel like you’ve gone to another universe already and it’s barely been a moment. His lips are back on yours as your chests are pressed against one another, moving ferociously. Toms hands slide behind your back, unclasping your back as your boobs fall free. Tom peppers kisses to each one, softly suckling on your right, moving his tongue around your tit, your nipples get hard and sensitive with each one. Pressing soft chaste kisses. He moans against your tit as he sucks on it, and a soft escapes yours.

His fingers toy with the waistband of your shorts, “This, okay, can I?”

You nod, “Yeah, you can… please.” You plead softly.

Tom pulls down your shorts and places soft kisses on your inner thigh, playing with the inner skin. You can feel the anticipation making your stomach burn, “Tommy, please.” Your back arches.

Your pussy drips wet as Toms tongue runs along the lips of you, not daring to insert into you just yet, but teasing you in all the right ways. His fingers split your lips apart, his mouth moving over your clit. Tongue circling it slowly as his thumb grazes your hole with so much anticipation.

You groan softly, running a hand through his curls, “Oh, god, Thomas.” You whisper, “Oh god.”

He continues lapping your pussy, kitten licking your clit. Feeling your pussy pulse as he does so, your hand pulling and grabbing on his curls with such delight, and it kills him to know that he can make you feel this way. Make you feel so good with just his tongue. Feeling how sweet your juices are and fantasying about how fucking delicious your orgasm will taste when you reach your final peak. How his tongue delves inside of you just amazes you.

Finally trusting someone amazed you. How you were giving yourself so freely to Tom. How good he made you feel. How he made you feel more than just a nobody. How he was giving you more than just a fuck. How he was giving you passion. The way he moved his tongue around your clit. Circling it slowly. Kitten licking. It made you feel good. He thought you were fucking stunning. He thought your moans were beautiful. He thought everything about you was so fucking hot. So fucking desirable that he just had to taste you. The truth was you’d never had someone eat you out like this. You’d never been the centre of attention. But now you were. You were here in Tom’s arms, and I’d be dammed if anyone thought he’d let you go. How his tongue kept on your pussy at such an incredible pace. How his hand cupped your tit squeezing your nipples and massaging the skin around them.

How afterwards he moved up and kissed your lips and made you taste yourself mixed with his tongue. How when he kissed you it wasn’t rough, how his bare skinned face grazed your chin. How his kisses were placed all over your neck and your chest, marking you. Making you his.

Tom’s mind wasn’t on the deal. If it was, he’d stop. He’d stop the whole fucking thing. He’d break up with you before the relationship could even start. Because it makes him sick to the stomach – but right now he places kisses on yours, making you feel loved. Making his heart flutter and his skin warm. His stomach beaming and doing back flips as he kiss you all over.

Slowly Tom peels off his shirt and pants and your eyes go wide, you want to scream at the past version of you that cockblocked all of this. That made this impossible. His cock was fucking long and every object of your desire. You needed him inside of you and you needed it now.

“Let me grab a condom.” Tom speaks as he goes to get up, but you grab his arm.

“I’m on birth control, I’m clean, well, I mean, I haven’t had sex in god knows how long but my birth control helps regulate my period and I really want to feel you inside me… but obviously, you can wear one if you want, I don’t know what I was thinking.” You start to ramble shrinking back into your shy demeanour.

Tom smiles and shakes his head, “No… It’s okay. I’d like that, a lot actually… I’m clean as well, by the way.” He flushes and presses another kiss to your lips before pushing you down slightly, your legs make their way onto his shoulders as Tom props himself upright, “I’m gonna go in now, okay?”

You nod ready to feel his cock inside of you and when you do, it’s like you’ve been sent up above. Tom’s body moving against yours, feeling the slap of his balls against your ass, the sound it makes turns you on and his cock pressing up against your gspot makes you moan louder than you ever have before. You start to touch your clit as Tom’s body continues to press in and out of you in slow and steady motions. You need more. You need more.

“Tom please harder, faster please… please.” You beg, feeling all of him against you, his pelvis moves forward as he thrusts his hips into you. Pounding you with such grace and the only sound in the room is the sound of your moans, Tom’s grunts, the squelch of your cunt and the slaps of his balls.

Tom watches as your body moves like fluid underneath him, his cock penetrating you as he watches your tits bounce and the way your face contorts when those beautiful sounds come out of your mouth. How your hand reaches and touches your clit, how your slick cunt lets him move in and out of you so smooth the two of you fit like two puzzle pieces together. The two of you moving in one motion that it’s almost so hard to tell where you start and where he begins. He groans as he moves faster by your command, feeling himself slam into you at animalistic pace. The hunger the both of you share is so much. It’s too much. Feeling each other was all Tom had ever wanted. Despite the deal. From the moment he saw you he felt something in his stomach, butterflies. His stomach feel warm with the need to put his hands on yours and feel you. Place his lips onto yours and spin you around as if you were in a movie. You were angry and mad and only wore the colour black and Tom was happy and wore the colour pink a little too often. It was some crazy juxtaposition that made him go insane… how could a girl like you fall for a guy like him? Someone so in tune with her own emotions. This realist fell for someone with their head in the clouds.

… and it’s crazy how fast that can come crashing down.

“Tom!” You groan pushing yourself to be closer to him, feeling everything that he was made of. Every single piece of his body was now in tune with yours. Your heads were nowhere near each other, but you felt like you could feel his forehead on yours. The two of you connecting so deeply. On another level that you thought was possible.

How could you fall for a guy like him? How could you let him do this to you? Make you take down your guard… you were so naïve.

“Y/n holy fuck!” He groans his head falling back as he feels your slick cunt on his throbbing cock, how his tip hits you in every perfect way and his length filling you so much that it makes you want to cry. Your cunt so tight, Tom has no idea how the fuck you’re taking all of him, but you are, and it only makes him fall for you more.

The two of you were so naïve to what was to come in the future. Only focusing on the now. Only focusing on each other’s moans, each other’s pleasure. The way your bodies felt against each other. How sweat trickled down your foreheads and how Tom’s collarbone was glowing with the shine of it all. How his toned abs were flexing as he moves into you along with his arms. How your nipples and tits were so perfect as your body bounced with his cock. How the sweat that fell on your forehead made your hair stick to your face in the most desirable way. How your moans would break, how Tom could make you feel this good.

So, fucking naïve.

“Tom please, I’m gonna cum.” You groan, your head falling back anymore if it could and his body pressing with yours, “Cum with me, please.” You beg, “Please Tommy, please.”

“Anything for you, Darling.” He speaks in strain as he begins to move with haste. The two of you moving faster and faster until you both reach that very specific warmth in your stomach that starts at the bottom and makes it’s way up as you feel Tom’s cock twitch inside your body and Tom feels your cunt clench around his cock. The two of you slowing down as you finally reached your peak and Tom riding you off your orgasm, falling in slick, his cum and your orgasm making it so much easier for Tom to move in and out of you as you smile, Tom’s body falling next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips, “I’d love to stay in bed, but I gotta pee and clean myself up.”

“Bathroom’s over there, Darling.” He smiles pressing another kiss to your lips as you grab one of his shirts and pyjama pants from his draw – you did that a lot before. Wore his clothes to bed. But it held so much more meaning now that you were finally his. That the two of you were together. It hadn’t been said but it was definitely implied.

Tom cleaned himself up with a tissue before sliding his boxers on along with a jumper. Hearing a knock on his door and the shower begin to start. He opened his door to be met with the eyes of Haz, who’s gaze flickered in between your bra and clothes that sat on a pile on the floor and Tom’s eyes. Tom immediately knew what he had just done… and his stomach churned. He felt like he wanted to throw up even if this deal wasn’t his intention at all. It was starting to realised what had just happen. This hadn’t been on his mind. This wasn’t his intention. This wasn’t his intention. This wasn’t his intention.

Fucking naïve.

“Good job mate.” He speaks, “Finally fucked her. Now you get what you want. Now you finally can get your brother into school and tell her to sod off.”

“Haz, that’s not what I want at all.” Tom says, “I don’t want her to sod off.” He mocks his friend with distaste, “Is that how you think Jean would like you to speak about her friend.”

“C’mon mate, it’s not like you actually liked her. When I proposed this whole ordeal, you told me she was just some sad goth chick, and she wasn’t your type. Man, you can finally get someone worth your time.”

“What’s he talking about Tom?” Your voice echoes in the room, no matter how soft it is. Your hair is wet and you’re still wearing his clothes. He didn’t even notice you pinch his favourite pair of socks.

Fucking naïve.

Your face fell and so did Toms, “It’s not what he’s making it out to be,” Tom says.

“He slept with you so that he could get his brother into school. We made a deal.” Haz says a smirk playing on his face.

“W-What? So, what?” Your face turned angry, your voice getting darker, tinged with sadness, and hurt and the tears that tickle your eyes were enough to say it all to Tom, “So I was just some stupid fucking deal? What have the last few months meant to you Tom? I opened up to you… I just slept with you! I just fucking slept with you.”

The laugh that escapes your mouth is nothing but dry as you start to pull your things off the floor, “I’m getting the fuck out of here.” You shove past Tom.

Not before turning back and raising your voice, “and don’t ever contact me again! I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear your stupid fucking voice. You have ruined my life, Thomas Holland.” You groan, “Again. I fucking hate you. You used me. You made me some ploy in a game. I’m fucking done…” Tears roll down your face, “The second I trust someone they hurt me.”

“Y/n.” Tears stream down Tom’s face, “Please. That deal means nothing to me. I fell for you. I fell for you so hard and I… I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. You’re my best friend. You’re my only real friend… Let me explain, please?”

You shake your head, “Fuck you, Tom.” You walk out the door and slam it behind you. You slide down it. You sit on the floor and cry for a single minute, your head in your hands, your arms on your knees, your tears are silent… and on the other side, Tom sits at the door in the same position as you. Except for the fact that his tears aren’t silent. That you can hear them through the door.

*

You walk into your dorm room and immediately make eye contact with Jean, “He used me… He used me, Jean. I loved him…and he used me.” You fall into her lap.

“Oh y/n,” She strokes your hair, holding you closer, “I’m sorry.”

But that doesn’t stop her stomach filling with sunshine and warmth.

We haven’t talked much about Janette Lauren Adams in this story because she wasn’t the main character of this story. She wasn’t the one dictating what happened. She wasn’t the one we were focusing on because it simply wasn’t her story. It was about you and Tom…

But wasn’t she?

There are many things you don’t know about Jean. There are many things you haven’t told Jean and she could say the same. Except for the fact that Jean is a liar. Jean is someone who despises you. Jean is someone who hates you. Yet, she puts on the face that she loves you, even though she vexes you. She wants to see you hurt the way she did when you walked in on her sleeping with your boyfriend. She was more hurt than you could ever imagine. She believed this man loved her and all you ever did was talk about you.

Granted, Jean only let you talk about yourself because she had no idea that she had made your ex-boyfriend fall so deeply in love with her. He hadn’t slept with other girls the whole time; he was only with Jean. But you were so venerable. So hurt and yet you knew nothing about the way she felt.

I know it makes no fucking sense. You were already hurt, so why would Jean want to hurt you further?

Because you believed that she was nothing but a fling. That she was only used to make him feel good. She wasn’t. HE was in love with her. HE cherished their relationship.

So, she wanted to hurt you. Making up some bullshit excuse that she needed to get you out into the dating pool again, to which she would pretend to date Harrison. Who was also unknowingly being used by her and made him make Tom an offer he couldn’t refuse to sneak his way into your fucking panties. Granted, it went so much further than Jean could’ve ever imagined… and that made her want to smile. Neither of you fucking knew that she was toying with both of you.

But you knew Jean inside and out (or so you thought), but you knew when she was lying. She had a tell. Her right eyebrow would lift, it was some quirk that gave her away so often. You sit up slowly. Keeping an eye on how her eyebrow is lifted ever so slightly. She’d often use her sass when she lied. It made her more charismatic. Yet, she was doing a terrible job.

“What do you know, Jean?” You question your friend.

“What do you mean ‘What do I know’?” She laughs, she’s nervous, “Y/n, Tom used you. It doesn’t mean I’m the enemy.”

“I never said you were the enemy. I said you knew something.” You’re now standing, “What do you know?”

“Y/n, I knew nothing.”

“Knew?”

“Know… I know nothing.” She repeats.

You give a dry chuckle, “What the fuck do you know, Jean!” You raise your voice, and she shrinks a little.

“Everything!” She admits, “I knew everything.” Her shriek turns into anger, “I knew because it was my fucking idea.” She stands.

You have to prevent your jaw from dropping, “What the fuck?” You push her onto the couch, before she begins to speak again, “I don’t wanna hear your shitty fuckin’ monologue. I don’t wanna hear from you… I trusted you. God, you didn’t even try to feel sorry for a single second. You couldn’t contain how much you loved to hurt me.”

*

The next few weeks were spent crying in your car. You could stand the thought of walking into the dorm you shared with Jean. You saw Tom during the week, and he would always try to talk to you, albeit he probably knew about Jean’s idea, you didn’t care. You didn’t give a fuck.

You were sitting in the spot you used to sit with Tom before everything went to shit. You didn’t know why you were under this massive tree. It was pouring rain and the tree could only do such a good job at protecting you from it. Just like you in a way. You were protecting yourself for so long, but it doesn’t always work like that. There’s always a crack in the surface, something always slips in.

You resorted back to the old you. Your comfortable black hoodie which you never should’ve let go of. You still wore Tom’s shirt to bed, though. You could just never understand why he did what he did… But you also could.

His brother.

Now, it wasn’t his brother’s fault. He’d told you all about how hard it was to watch him fail at getting into a good school, they weren’t able to pay. The more you thought about it, the more you knew that Tom probably was conflicted. It was probably meant to be a one-night stand… you hoped.

Regardless, you were sat under this tree, with your hood up and tiny droplets of water crowded your sketch book, but they weren’t from the sky. You heard footsteps approaching, but you didn’t bother to look up, until you heard his voice.

“Y/n.” Tom speaks, his voice is timid and careful and dreaded with pain.

You look up and your eyes are bloodshot, and so are his. You don’t know if he’s been crying or if he’s just tired – but the bags underneath his eyes are speaking volumes. They’re shaded in purple and blue tones. You’d seen him around, but he usually looked better than this. Maybe you hadn’t looked close enough.

The regret in Tom’s eyes was unmissable. Unparalleled. You knew he genuinely felt sorry. You knew he regretted everything. You saw that the night you left him – the night you slept with him. The night he made you feel better than anyone had ever could…

So why did it have to lead to something so bad?

“Tom if you’ve come here to explain-” You sigh, wiping tears from your face and running a hand through your hair. But before you could finish your sentence, he interrupts you.

“I have. I need you to know what actually happened and so you’re not influenced by that fucking schmuck Harrison.” Tom speaks, “

“Thought you were his friend.”

“Haven’t been. Not since the beginning of this stupid deal. I didn’t want any part of it,”

This piques your curiosity, “Fine…” You speak, “Explain yourself, I guess.”

Tom takes a seat next to you underneath the oak tree, his knee accidentally hits yours and you move it away slowly, “Sorry…” He apologises.

“Explain.” You cut short and Tom sighs.

“Right, so…” He starts off awkwardly and you can only look at him, but he can’t even seem to meet your eyes, “Yeah, what Haz said was true. But I didn’t know you at the time, I thought you were just some girl I could fuck, get my brother into school, and move on. I know, it sounds so fucked. It is. I fucked up. But I said no. Initially Haz just wanted me to sleep with you and he brought in my brother… and I agreed. I know it’s fucked up,” He says for what feels like the ten thousandth time, “But you have to understand… Harry… he got into every single school he applied for, but every single scholarship he wanted they denied. Fucked if I know why. It’s stupid. But we’re not rich and Haz is… and I tried to pull out of this fucked up thing, but he held my brother over my head.”

Hearing Tom’s explanation made you feel bad. He was trying to help his brother. That part hadn’t sunk into your head… and you understood why. Upon his explanation you understood why. Maybe that’s what made you start crying. He fucked up to help his brother. He fucked with your trust to help his brother get into school because Harrison Osterfield had backed him into a fucking corner.

It didn’t excuse anything he did. But… it made it make sense.

“…and I thought everything would be okay when you found out.” He sighs, “Because I fell in love with you. I did. I still love you. I love everything about you. When I first met you, I thought you were just a girl… but now I know you’re the girl. You’re the girl my heart belongs to. You’re the girl who makes me float in the sky, who fills my daydreams. You’re the girl I want to wake up next to every… single… day.” He exasperates, “You’re the girl I want by my side. You’re the only girl, y/n.”

You couldn’t listen to him so you stood up and walked into the rain, you tried to walk away from him but Tom grabbed your wrist and turned you toward him.

“Please.” He cries, trickling down his face, “Say something… please.”

There were many truths in this conversation, many things lain out on the table. Many things that confused you. Made you feel bad for Tom, but also terrible for yourself. Made you feel as though you didn’t know everything… made you feel like you should’ve listened to Tom the first time he begged. Maybe the heart break could’ve been avoided. Because you loved him. You loved him so much and your heart was aching. Beating out of your chest, made you need him. Your skin was craving everything that he had given you, because his touch on your wrist was electric.

“Tom… I understand.” You spoke, “…and I’ll never forget what you did to me. I need you to know that.”

His thumb runs over your chin, “I’m not expecting you to. I’m not asking you to. I understand my mistakes.”

You nod, “I know, Tommy,” You speak softly, “I know… and I’m willing to forgive you. I’m willing to because I love you. You’re the man I want. You’re the man… and I don’t trust people… I don’t know how long it’ll take to trust you again. But I want to. I want to trust you again.”

“And you can take all the time you need. As long as I can have you in my life.” His breath shudders against the rain.

And your lips fall on his, you press your lips to yours, feeling his hand trail down your wet clothes, pulling you closer, your waist being tugged by him and by everything that he gave you. How good he made you feel. No matter how much he hurt you, the love he gave you had never disappointed, and it never would. His lips were soft, and the kiss was passionate as rain plummeted over the both of you, tainting your burning skin cold.

The two of you pull away, breath hot and heavy, he speaks, “You’re my girl.”

You nod, with a giggle, “I’m your girl.”

-

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