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lovings4turn · 1 month

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ᯓ★ 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 (𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒)

— a few days have passed since you last saw lando, yet your feelings are as strong as ever. there’s nothing like another party to finally set the record straight. (3.2k words)

+ aka. part two of don’t delete the kisses (and my longest fic to date on this blog !!)

+ again mentions of drinking and clubbing, largely fluff . lando n reader are only slightly tipsy ! this took far too long to get out but she's finally here - hope you all enjoy !!!

it had been three days since you’d gone to the club, and three days since you’d consequently fled from the club due to your inability to act normally around lando norris.

you hadn’t seen him since then, but you’d texted back and forth from the morning afterwards. you’d felt bad about the whole thing, just leaving without even finding him to say goodbye, and so made up some excuse about getting too overwhelmed and not wanting to ruin his night with your desire to go home.

and because he was an angel, lando didn’t even question you. instead, he instantly accepted your explanation, assuring you it was more than fine as long as you were okay. he could go without a goodbye, if it meant the best for you.

eighty percent of your subsequent conversations were complete nonsense. ever since you had became close all those years ago, lando had taken it upon himself to text you every single thought he ever had, no matter how menial or silly.

embarrassingly, as a result of being down so, completely, horrifically bad for him, you found each and every one endearing. yes, even the god-awful memes he would send you religiously between the hours of two and five am when he couldn’t sleep.

perhaps it was even worse that you’d go on to forward said memes to other friends, pretending that you had found them. you were unable to prevent the laughs that would escape your lips every time your phone buzzed with a notification from lando.

one on hand, you were on top of the world. on the other, you were going insane.

lando had positively taken over your mind, every corner of your head filled with deep brown curls and impish laughter. even the most menial things proved to link back to lando in some way, a tangled red string of association that to anyone else would make zero sense but was obvious to you.

you were icarus, and lando the sun; something to dream of but never to have. you were certain that if you chased him, your wax wings would melt rapidly as you succumbed to your impulses before you crashed onto the harsh ground of reality.

learning to cope with the heavy feeling of yearning was something you could do. suffering with a little heartache to keep lando in your life far outweighed not having lando at all.

being definitive in your decision to bury your feelings didn’t mean it wasn’t a struggle, though.

now more than ever, it seemed impossible to not think about lando, or talk about him, shout his name from the rooftops so the whole world could hear the praises you would sing for him. it appeared to be a pretty clear sign that you were losing any remaining shreds of self control, but what could you do? no matter how many times your head said no, your heart would tell you that it would always be lando, one thousand times over.

a notification lit up your phone screen, and you were convinced it was a sort of cruel taunt from the universe.

landonorris just posted a photo!

it was borderline masochistic, the way in which you tapped the notification instantly and allowed yourself to be led to lando’s latest instagram photo dump. alongside a few selfies, pictures of him from that night in the club were littered throughout, and though he was posing with friends in each photo, your eyes were focused solely on him.

without really thinking, you pinched the screen, zooming in a little further to admire every detail of lando’s face that had been captured by someone’s iphone. the moles that were dotted across his face like they’d been individually placed there, the unruly curls that begged your fingers to find a home in them, and that fucking smile.

realisation hit soon after, and you caught yourself with a groan. here you were, sitting looking at his pictures with a dopey, love-sick grin on your face, acting like a teenage girl with an innocent classroom crush.

“god! might as well write all over a notebook that he rocks my world or something,” you scoffed, mock disgust lacing your words.

oh great, now you were fucking talking to yourself. christ, what had he done to you?

in an act of frustration, you quickly liked lando’s photo before throwing your phone onto your bed, partially hoping it would get lost amongst the pillows so you couldn’t find it again and fawn over more pictures of your supposed best friend.

a distraction was what you needed. and so you stood up and made your way into the kitchen, praying that maybe cooking a nice meal for yourself would sort you out. either that, or you could hit yourself over the head with a frying pan and hope that the concussion would remove any feelings that breached the label of ‘platonic’.

and for two whole hours, your plan had worked.

not only were you able to enjoy the delicious meal you’d made, but also got through a good few episodes of the new tv series you had started watching a week or so ago. the lando shaped hole in your mind had been replaced by witty dialogue and pointless character drama, and you were beginning to think that you had everything under control.

that was until you returned to your bedroom and reached for your phone once more, your lockscreen lighting up to display yet another text thread from lando.

lando: going out tomorrow at 10!!!

lando: be there or be square😈

lando: i need my best dance partner w me

fingers dancing across the keyboard, the text was sent before your brain could even think about the invitation.

y/n: i'll b there🥳

it was official: you were absolutely fucked.

. . .

it was 10:28pm and you were already questioning your decision to come out.

you would say that you had no idea why you’d even agreed to the invitation, but that would be a lie. you knew exactly what had convinced you to get dressed up and leave your house tonight, and that reason was currently grinning at you from his place at the bar, clothed in another stupid button down shirt and sunglasses, of all accessories.

how he had managed to make sunglasses indoors not only acceptable, but attractive to you was just another sign of the power that the man held over you. you’re sure that if you told your friends, they’d never let you live it down. and hell, you wouldn’t even blame them for it.

from the moment you had arrived, lando had commanded your attention. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t intently tuned in to every word he spoke, each movement of his limbs and the expressions on his face. he had you completely hooked, and you were letting it happen, swept along in the riptide of your stupid crush,

whether it was from the pulsating house music, the shot lando had shoved into your hand the moment you’d shown your face, or even just lando himself, you felt electric. sparks of lightning rippled beneath your skin, every last nerve in your body buzzing with anticipation for something that you couldn’t even put your finger on.

butterflies swarmed your stomach, and if someone were to tell you you were looking at lando with stars in your eyes, you would have no doubt that it was true. because as he grinned at you once more, the lively groups of club-goers began to fade away leaving only a vignette of his figure.

you were experiencing every romantic cliche in the fucking book, all thanks to him.

you were unsure as to whether it was a minute or a hour before he was standing in front of you again, the scent of his aftershave almost taunting you as it enveloped you. lando was expertly clasping two vodka cokes in one hand and two shots of tequila in the other, sporting a lopsided smile.

“lando!” you groaned, actions betraying your scolding tone as you reached out to pluck the shot from his hand before grabbing your drink, careful not to cause lando to spill anything.

the last thing you needed right now was to spill a drink on lando’s white shirt. the sight of the material slowly becoming see-through until it offered you a glimpse of his tan, toned skin was more than you would be able to handle.

lando held up the plastic shot glass with a cheeky expression, a silent toast to god knows what, before he tipped the liquid down his throat. his face quickly soured, and he wasted no time in seeing off a large portion of his drink in an attempt to rid himself of the tequila flavour.

“woah, woah, slow down there,” you laughed, gently pushing the cup away from lando’s mouth. “got the whole night ahead of you.”

watercolour eyes dropped to glance at your hand, lando’s stare lingering even after you had pulled your hand back towards your body hastily, as though merely being in the proximity of his body was enough to burn.

you would have thought it odd, if lando hadn’t immediately taken your hand into his larger one and stalked off towards the dance floor, gently tugging you along without a word. your mind told you that lando had simply felt the effects of his drink quicker than expected, and it took him a minute to realise that leading you to the dance floor was the mission he would give himself for the night.

flashbacks of the last time you were out clubbing with lando played in the back of your mind like an old movie, something you would put on in the background for comfort yet wouldn’t pay much attention to.

one dance turned into two, and then three, and before you knew it you had been dancing with lando for the better part of an hour, both of you expertly adapting your moves to match the vibe of whatever song the dj decided to play next.

one of the many perks of attending clubs with formula one drivers was that there was an ever-flowing supply of alcohol. it was something you’d discovered after the first few times you had gone out with lando and his friends: you would finish your drink and before you could blink, someone had shoved a new one into your hand, the cup still marbled with cold condensation.

your current drink had been supplied by max, or maybe even carlos, a far too strong liquor mixed with nowhere near enough soda for your liking. your nose scrunched up at the taste, and lando laughed before gently plucking the cup from you, his fingers brushing against your own for a fleeting moment.

a fire burned in the pit of your stomach, noticing that lando’s lips landed perfectly over the lipgloss mark you’d left moments ago. an indirect kiss.

much like your own moments prior, lando’s face twisted up into a grimace at the taste, and he shook his head furiously.

“that's fucking awful,” he claimed, leaning down a little to shout his complaints into your ear. “whoever bought you that has shit taste.”

“says the man who bought a round of tequila earlier in the night.”

lando chuckled, mumbling a ‘fuck off’ that held more adoration than malice, in your humble opinion. like he had rehearsed it, lando smoothly palmed your drink off onto max before delicately taking hold of one of your wrists, twirling you around just like he had done a few nights ago.

possibly driven by a subconscious want to set right the events of your last night out, you repeated your own actions and spun lando under your arm in response.

lando’s grin was almost blinding, and he pulled you towards him, your hands still clasped by his as he moved your limbs around like the world’s worst puppetmaster.

you were convinced that, had he had enough room around him, he would have spun you both around until you were dizzy, a move he’d pulled many times when you were dancing together in one of your kitchen’s to pass the time it took to cook your meal.

sadly, lando had to settle for flailing arms and uncoordinated shimmies, his priority making you smile rather than trying to look suave amongst the mass of bodies at your every turn.

a few other drivers started to join your circle, handing you both more drinks as they tried to engage in miscellaneous conversation and playfully poked fun at yours and lando’s lack of coordination or apparent shame.

unable to control who stood where, thanks to the power of free will, you had been separated from lando, instead flanked by oscar and george whilst he was wrapped up in a conversation with max fewtrell.

thanks to his position across from you, lando was able to catch your eye, his brow quirked slightly in a silent question meant only for you to decipher. you nodded, a clear response to his wordless communication.

as though it were planned, you and lando began to leave. this was how your last french exit should have been; no longer were you alone and flustered, stumbling into the back of your uber with the desire to bash your head off of a brick wall.

no, this time you had lando’s hand in yours, the pad of his thumb brushing soft circles against the back of your hand as he expertly manoeuvred you both through the crowd, informing you that a car would already be there to take you back to your flat with him in tow.

apologetic texts and goodbyes weren’t necessary this time around, if the loud, obnoxious whooping and whistling from pierre and charles were anything to go by. with their propensity for gossip, you were sure that every inhabitant in the club would be informed of your swift exit with lando within the hour.

the ride home was filled with melodic laughter as lando made it his mission to unload every observation he’d made in the past few hours onto you. he’d taken particular interest in the argument two girls were having when he was waiting at the bar, and left no detail out as he recounted the whole event like some sort of one man show, his only audience you.

the streetlights you passed caused a flickering glow to dance across lando’s features, and the momentary flashes of illumination caused lando to look otherworldly, all shadows and contours framed by deep curls.

lando was so caught up in his story that he was oblivious to your wonderstruck stare, completely unaware of the way you were drinking in every last inch of him, committing each miniscule detail to memory and storing it away for a rainy day.

good, you thought. he’d only take the piss anyways.

the alcohol rendered you both a little unsteady on your feet, and you snorted a laugh as lando stumbled through your front door, catching his shoe on the tiny step that led into your apartment.

whoever lived underneath you would likely be cursing your name right now, as neither you nor lando were too concerned about remaining quiet and light on your feet as you bumbled over to your bedroom. comfort was the only thing on your mind, though you made a mental note to push an apology letter underneath the poor soul’s door the next day.

making himself at home, lando threw himself down onto your bed, the plush mattress eliciting a soft groan from him. his once closed eyes snapped open as you tossed a pair of his joggers at him, a pair he’d left at yours a few months ago (and that you may or may not have ‘forgotten’ to return to him.)

“i’ll get changed in a sec,” lando promised, sinking back into your sheets. “you can too. just, come on, lie down for a bit.”

lando delivered two quick pats to your bed, perhaps hoping it would prompt you to join him faster than you already would have. secretly, you were glad that he thought you needed convincing to lie down with him for a moment.

you pretended to consider it, eyes flitting over to where your makeup remover sat, before you gave in, mumbling an ‘okay’ as you clumsily removed your shoes and clambered onto the bed next to him.

the gap between you both was barely there. if you moved your hand just slightly, your fingers would brush against lando’s side. how easy it would be, just to grant yourself a slice of heaven for once.

lando’s voice brought you out of your trance.

“when you left, last time…”

an unfinished question. lando was clearly attempting to seem nonchalant as he broached the topic that you had both been skirting around since it had happened, his eyes trained onto the thread of your duvet that he had busied his hands with.

in that moment, you didn’t think you could ever lie to him, no matter how humiliating the truth was.

“it got too much. y’hands on me and everything, i got too flustered. i just didn’t want to make a fool out of myself, i guess,” you admitted as an embarrassed smile played on your lips.

a giggle trickled from lando’s mouth, prompting you to roll onto your side and face him with a raised brow.

“what’s so funny?”

“nothin’. just the fact you fancied me so much that you had to run away from me,” lando responded, grinning mischievously.

your response came in the form of a pillow hitting lando square in the face.

“oi!”

the pillow came flying back, but missed your body by roughly a couple of inches, the alcohol clearly impairing his usually decent aim.

“missed me,” you taunted.

unexpectedly lando’s face lit up at your words, and he rolled closer to you, propping himself up onto an elbow so that his face was hovering over yours.

you swallowed thickly at the sudden movement, eyes darting across his face frantically as though his motives would be written into the curve of his smile.

“think there’s a saying about that,” lando mused, a hand trailing up your side so gently that you half believed you were imagining it. “missed me, missed me, now you’ve gotta kiss me, or something.”

and if that wasn’t a sign to press your lips to his, you weren’t sure what was.

you swallowed lando’s sound of surprise as your lips melded with his own, his mouth soft and warm as he more than returned your affections.

clearly not content with the level of control he possessed, lando briefly pulled back and swiped the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip before attaching his lips to your once more, gently sucking the flesh into his mouth and nipping at it with a smirk.

it was slow, and a little sloppy, a blend of tongue and teeth as you desperately tried to taste as much of each other as possible.

your grip on lando’s shirt was vice-like, as though you were scared he would disappear if let out of your hands for even a fleeting second.

“don’t worry, ‘m not going anywhere, pretty girl,” lando teased softly, punctuating his words with another kiss. “y’stuck with me.”

and suddenly, everything had become clear. it was always going to be you and lando, a love that would transcend a lifetime.

tags : @wintfleur @faerieroyal @starriesworlds @itscrzy @ssararuffoni @tbsloneely @onecojg @basicchelsea

#.° ༘🗝️⋆₊ becca’s drabbles #lando norris #ln4 #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fic #lando norris fluff #lando norris drabble #formula one x reader #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n

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meowzfordayz · 4 months

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they're-both-so-helpless

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~600

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

Author’s Note: starting 2024 off w/ Kyojuro❣️ Began writing this while at work… winter makes for slow days when selling ice cream. 😆 Pt 2 coming ~soon aka prob within the next 24 hrs since my shift’s almost over lol.

emphasis-on-helpless, helplessly-in-love

Missing your boyfriend is tough… especially when he isn’t actually your boyfriend.

“He might as well be!” Mitsuri says whenever she’s with you, “I swear you check your phone at least twice as often ever since you became friends.” The tips of your ears warm, eyes glued to the newest Snap of Kyojuro’s cheerful face. “Will you at least show me?” Mitsuri huffs, head tilting to catch a glance, “Aww, he’s so cute!” “But he’s not my boyfriend,” you mutter, quickly snapping a blurry photo of your melting ice cream. Eyes gleaming, Mitsuri hums knowingly, slinging a giddy arm around you without another word. You silently thank her gesture of respecting your privacy—something your other friend, Shinobu, rarely does—hurriedly eating a spoonful of your dessert as he snaps back: You got ice cream without me?! ☹️ I fear I am mortally wounded. 💔 You appease him with a Snap of your own frown, promising him i’ll bring u next time 🥺🍦 pointedly ignoring Mitsuri’s smooching noises when Kyojuro fires back with It’s a date! 😁😋 Sooo maybe nobody respects your privacy.

You’ve never considered yourself shy, but you have resigned yourself to being perpetually friendzoned, a bit too person-next-door in a would-never-date-their-neighbor way rather than a person-next-door who also is-totally-down-to-date-their-handsome-neighbor way. Like puffing out your chest while walking on the sidewalk to convey confidence and get people out of your path, you’ve mastered the art of giving off don’t-fuck-with-me vibes — despite desperately wanting to fuck.

And therein lies the problem-not-actually-a-problem with one Rengoku Kyojuro. Also known as, Mitsuri’s favorite barista. Also known as, immediately flirted with you when Mitsuri finally took you to his cafe for brunch, writing his number on your cup and everything. Also known as, might not have been flirting with you and in fact was just being nice because he has yet to properly-not-jokingly ask you on a real-official-non-platonic date. You’ve survived a blustery autumn of pumpkin spice lattes and too many free muffins, persevered through a surprisingly snug winter of It’s my special recipe hot chocolates and ice skating with the gang (Mitsuri, Shinobu, Kyojuro, and his insufferable friend Tengen), and felt wistfully hopeful as spring came and went, having your voice compared to blossoming flowers and your smile to tender sunshine… only to dream alone, his contagious grin and addictingly cozy hugs lingering even as you woke with the sensation of tears in your eyes.

—

“You should tell him how you feel!” Shinobu sighs, an exasperated, endeared sound as she watches you bemoan your adoration.

“Oh yeah, because he definitely feels the same after a year of literally zero signs!”

“He called your ice cream plans last week a date,” Mitsuri chimes in, rubbing your shoulders as she exchanges a they’re-both-so-helpless look with Shinobu.

“Platonically,” you shoot back, sagging into Mitsuri’s touch, “He’s so gentlemanly and sweet, I never know whether we’re flirting or he’s simply being polite! Friendly! A friend!”

“I repeat,” Shinobu deadpans, “Tell him how you feel.”

You pout, chewing on your upper lip as you mumble, “And if he doesn’t like me?”

“Nonsense!” Mitsuri declares brightly, squeezing you—Owww—a little too hard, “He doesn’t talk to anyone else like he talks to you.”

“I talk to you differently than I talk to Shinobu. Doesn’t mean anything,” you grumble.

“I’m trying to uplift you,” Mitsuri huffs, playfully pulling on your earlobe, “Trust us. Okay? He would absolutely date you if he knew you were interested in dating.”

“Since when have I said I’m not interested?!” you wail in dismay.

“You’ve never said you are interested,” Shinobu quips.

You scowl at her as she tosses a good natured pillow at you, Mitsuri clicking her tongue as you squish the pillow against your sternum, heart aching when your phone lights up Rengoku Kyojuro sent you a Snap • 🔥.

#kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #rengoku x reader #flame hashira #drabble #modern au #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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love-strawberry · 2 years

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heaven sounds great

summary : it was hard moving on but she was trying. it became impossible doing so when steve was trying to climb her window with a bunch of white roses speaking nonsense but she loved white roses. and him.

pairing : steve harrington x reader

warnings : language

author's note : part ii!!!!! thank you to everyone who liked part i, it makes my heart full!! i wanted to end this on an angsty note but i realised that i'd be heartbroken so here you go!! <3 hope you all like it as much i did!!

tagged : @bijleegiregi @sebsmoocow @fezcomybeloved @bethii1 @simplysnips @laufeysonluvr @yourfavoritefangirl @ateliefloresdaprimavera @leticiaps14 @wolfstarsimpxx @thatonegirlwhowrites @itscheybaby @pandoraneverland @siriusblacksl0ver @undeniableadrenaline @screechingmugpaperdean @fall-writes @goldenharrysworld

wish i hated you instead i

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----------

y/n y/l/n had a lot of regrets in her life and having this conversation with robin buckley made the top three.

(the biggest one was steve finding out about her embarassing crush on him, his words, not hers. she regretted it so much that if she could've changed her name and fled off to french countryside, she would've.)

"but, like, why?"

"i have no fucking clue, robin," y/n said dryly as she played with robin's hands. "if i did, i would be with him right now. not with you."

"rude," robin glared playfully. "but, it's clear as the day that harrington likes you. no, you know what? he loves you. i, personally, thinks he's a loser but that loser worships the ground you walk on "

"thank you for trying to cheer me up, robin, i appreciate it. truly," y/n smiled at her. "but, there's a zero chance of steve liking me. i told what happened and how he reacted. it's not gonna happen."

"but—"

"i know what you're gonna say. maybe he reacted that way cause he was overwhelmed, but it's been three weeks," y/n said as she thought about all the times steve had ignored her the past few weeks. "i've called him a million time, he hasn't picked up. he doesn't take shifts at the store as the same time and leaves whenever i come back. it's clear as fuck that he doesn't wanna talk to me.

"i—i really wish that i should've said something more, you know. that it doesn't matter to me that he doesn't like me, cause he's my friend, robin, that should be enough. and i should've fought harder to stay but—it's all over now. he was my best friend and now my best friend who i stupidly have a crush on hates me."

y/n finished her rant, breathing heavily as robin rubbed her arm. she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to curl up in a hole six feet under and die in it.

"hey," robin spoke gently, "it's all okay, alright? it's gonna be fine. you're an amazing woman and you're a badass. if steve doesn't like you, it's his loss. anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

y/n smiled at robin and she moved to hug her. "thank you for cheering me up. you've improved from last summer."

"always, babe," robin shrugged but smiled genuinely, "and yeah, i've been practising. turns out you can't find a proper significant other if you're a cold bitch, so yeah."

y/n laughed genuinely in weeks. it's been three weeks since steve asked her to leave and three weeks since y/n had a good laugh.

she missed him, of course she did. she had now realised that her entire routine was woven around steve.

steve used to pick her up for her morning shift at the store and he usually hung out there until it was time for his shift.

the day after their fight, y/n ran late cause she was waiting for steve to pick her up, not realising that he probably won't be doing that anymore.

her shift seemed to last an entire day considering the one who used to make her laugh like no tomorrow and crack little jokes wasn't around.

she missed him. terribly and achingly. in a way that made her chest constrict.

and as y/n sat in her bedroom, surrounded by little memoirs from steve, with robin blabbering about something, she wondered if this ache would ever go away.

----------

steve was having a pretty decent day. that is, if being sad and heartbroken but not crying about it counts as decent.

if it does, then yes. he was having a decent day.

that was, until robin came stumbling through the door.

"oh, my god," robin gasped as if he was a ghost. he admitted that he wasn't looking that great, his hair was a mess and he had dark circles but he took offence to that.

"hey," steve whined. "i'll cry if you make fun of me, i swear."

"no! no, it's not that," robin said frantically, "i thought your shift was over?!"

"what? no, it's not over for," steve spoke as he checked his watch, "another 45 minutes."

"ugh, fuuuck," robin said as she looked at steve then back at the door. "okay, look. don't be mad at me. i didn't know."

"what—? what'd you—" steve's sentence died out as he looked at the person who had just entered.

"what's wrong?" y/n said as she looked at robin, not realising that steve was around since he was standing behind a rack.

"uhhh," robin said as her eyes kept going back and forth between steve and y/n.

"oh," y/n said quietly, having spotted the mop of hair that she had grown to love.

"i am sorry, y/n/n," robin said. "we can go and come back when his shift is over. i thought it'd be over by now."

"no, it's okay," y/n assured robin. "you should go ahead. i've been meaning to talk to steve for a while, that is if he decides to be adult and not run away this time."

steve glared at y/n, moving around the rack to stand in front of her, y/n glaring right back though her eyes didn't have any hate or venom in it. robin realised that.

"i'll—" robin pointed to the gate though the others gave no indication they heard her, too busy in their staring/glaring contest, "—just go. bye!"

the door closed.

"i understand that it's not gonna be the same between us after that but i would like to know if you're gonna come around or if you're gonna start pretending that you don't know me," y/n said as she stared at him.

"of course it's not gonna be the same," steve looked away first, throwing his hands in the air. "why did you have to tell me that? what couldn't you have liked literally anyone else—?"

"i didn't tell you, you weren't supposed to find out, steve—"

"and," steve raised his voice to continue speaking over her, "if even we do get together, it's just—it's not gonna work out? it's just all make believe, okay? we think it's gonna be sunshine and daisies but it's not. you were my best friend, y/n—"

"were?" y/n questioned, her voice becoming so quite that steve thought he imagined it.

"i—i don't—" steve sighed, choosing to stay silent instead.

"it's okay, steve," y/n smiled sadly at him. "i got what i wanted to know. it's okay, i understand."

y/n turned to leave, her hand on the door when steve called out for her.

"y/n, wait."

she turned back to look at him, hating the way her whole body filled with too much hope. hoping that he'd tell that she won't be losing him. that he'll be there for her, just like he always said he would.

"i'm sorry. i—i really am."

"me too, steve."

y/n looked at him for a moment, praying that he'd say something else but, then walked away.

he didn't ask her to stay. so, she left.

----------

y/n liked to think that she handled that situation with steve maturely.

she didn't cry, she respected his wishes of not remaining friends and she didn't ring him anymore to talk to him.

she handled this situation like an adult and was choosing to move on.

but, moving was easier said than done and the fact the steve was currently climbing up to her window didn't exactly help her in doing so.

"what the fuck?"

"a little help here would be very much appreciated, but you know, take your time. it's not like i'm hanging by a thread here and about to fall to my death."

y/n considered pushing him back just for his sarcasm but realised that she'll probably be the first suspect. so, she helped him, even though somewhat reluctantly.

"what are you doing her?" y/n asked as she pulled him in and closed the window. "at this time?"

"sorry," steve said as he scratched the back of his neck. it was then y/n noticed that he had a bunch of white roses in his hand and felt her features soften.

"what are you doing here, steve?" she asked again, this time more gently.

"i—um, i wanted to give you these," steve said as he shoved the flowers in her hands, retracting his arm at lightning speed.

"oh—" y/n was dumbfounded, as she kept staring at the flowers and back at steve. "thank you? i'm sorry, these flowers are very pretty. i'm just—i'm just so confused."

"yeah, no. you have a right to be confused," steve nodded his head vigorously. "i was driving through the town and i saw these outside the jones' house and thought of you. but then i remembered that we're not on good terms but i just couldn't drive away without getting these. for you. and so i—i decided to pluck them but i forgot that the jones' had a dog and i barely escaped with my life. and i know that i—"

"steve—" y/n tried to speak but he didn't listen.

"—you loved these. so, i got these and i wanted to give these to you but again, we're not on good terms but i was like 'fuck it' and here i am. this was a stupid idea, obviously. you know what, i'll just go, you keep the flowers. it's not like i can stick these back to their bushes and even if a could, i wouldn't. the jones' dog is a menace—"

"steve-"

"—i mean, i love dogs but that bitch? a spawn of devil, i tell you. and you know what, i'll probably shut up now and fall to my death. have you tried climbing up to here? it's so difficult. how're you doing, by the way? you like these flowers—"

"first off, stop saying 'these'," y/n spoke cutting his off. "second, i'm good, steve. how're you? third, i love these flowers. and fourth, i. am. confused."

"first, sorry. second, i'm glad you're fine. i am fine too. third, thank god. fourth, i'm sorry. it's all my fault," steve spoke as he looked at her with apologetic eyes.

"it's okay—i, um, i'm just shocked to see you. i mean, i thought we—" y/n motioned between them, "were over. i mean our friendship. not our relationship cause that's non-existent. i'll shut up now."

"yeah, i am sorry for that-—"

"stop saying sorry."

"sorry."

y/n looked at him before cracking a smile.

"robin is right about you, you know? you are a dumbass."

"hey!" steve looked at her with mock-offense. "rude!"

"sorry not sorry," y/n laughed lights before setting the flowers in her desk and turning back to steve. "so, what brings you here, other than giving me these flowers?"

"uhhh," steve looked anywhere but at her. "i—i wanted to see you."

"see me," y/n scoffed. "i thought you made it quite clear that you didn't wanna see me during our last conversation."

"i deserved that," steve winced. "and that's what i'm sorry about. i thought about it a lot, going over our conversations again and again and you're wrong about one thing."

"what thing?" y/n asked looking at him with suspicion.

"that i don't like you. that's what you're wrong about."

"look, steve," y/n stood up from her bed. "if you're only here to joke about my embarassing crush on you, then please. just go. don't joke, please. not about that."

"i am not—i'm not joking, y/n!' steve said as he pleased with his eyes for see her to believe him, "i swear, i'm not. i would never. i do like you, how could i not? wait, no. i love you. you're this incredible person and i love you. so much."

"then why didn't you say anything?" y/n asked as she picked at her nails.

"because—because we're best friends. best friends do fall in love with eachother at least once. we did too. and i didn't wanna ruin us over something that may not even last forever. i couldn't do that, i couldn't lose you."

"steve," y/n whispered as she took his hands in hers. "don't you think that i knew that? but come on, i've managed to put up with your bullshit for over 15 years. the chances of us lasting forever do look good."

"you're right, of course you are," steve said as he leaned in closer and connected their foreheads. "but i was still afraid of losing you. these last few weeks have been hell without you telling me about random shit."

"you're not afraid anymore?" y/n asked, her voice not more than a whisper due to their close proximity.

"i'm not afraid anymore."

with that, steve leaned in more and kissed her.

it was everything y/n had imagined and more. steve's hand was cradling her jaw while the other rested at her waist, pulling her impossibly close. y/n's hand was cupping his cheek while the other clutched his collar, pulling him even closer to her.

they both parted for air, smiling heavily, panting heavily but hearts full.

"you really wanna do this? it's gonna be some level of make believe but i think it's gonna be heaven," steve asked, his lips brushing over y/n's.

"yeah, heaven sounds great with you."

----------

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anamelessfool · 17 days

Text

Oh look! More Lore! Some thoughts about the relationship between Sister and Papa Nihil. All from my Scenes From the Void AU. I hope this motivates me to finish the next chapter of the major work. Gonna be a doozy!

Sister

1962 and a year into Sister's reign as Mother Imperator. Sister was not the first choice, and every day of her reign so far she is reminded of this. Her personal assistant, Rebecca, is mercifully distracted by her new son whose existence cancelled Rebecca's dream of becoming Mother Imperator. Perhaps Rebecca will put her energy elsewhere, in the end. Papa Emeritus Petruchio is an asshole and is constantly clamoring to return to Italy. He wants to find his replacement there and live out the rest of his days drinking and whoring in a cushy archbishop position and every moment that Sister struggles with her poor grasp of the Italian language he crawls closer to death. The phone has been ringing off the hook daily, pleas from the old headquarters in Milan to return the Seat of the Church to its rightful home at last. Even though the structure has barely recovered from the damage of two world wars.

Rebecca suggests a tour of Italy, to drum up funds for the final repairs, and Sister agrees. Anything to get them off her case. But in Italy who gives a shit about an elderly, stiff opera singer? They need a different angle. A force of personality that would knock down doors and bring the money and acolytes rolling in. Something more modern, more exciting, more subversive, more…Satanic, of course.

“Rock music?” Rebecca suggests. Of course suggesting her own little project and father of her child Brother Zero from the New York City Church. Rebecca and Archbishop Camino of NYC had been gunning for this unknown, this Brother Zero for years and Sister doesn't understand it. He seemed at best unmanageable and at worst dull-witted. He moved to the seat of power with a partner and son. An entire family who had since quit the Church altogether due to this Zero’s proclivities for sleeping around. He was planted here clearly to be underfoot. But all of Rebecca’s praise and machinations and rebranding of the bandy-legged wanderer falls flat in Sister’s eyes. He looks more like a drooping flower than the powerhouse of charisma she needs to save face. Sister knew the church would fracture after the old Mother’s death, and so, fine, she agrees. Rebecca has the funds and Camino the influence and negotiating skills. She needs their favor. And so the Americans pit themselves against the Italians.

With some hapless Zero stuck in the middle.

Nihil

Nance is gone. Primo is gone. But Nihil for a time remains cheerful, upbeat. Dreams require sacrifice, he says. Nance has a dream, he has his own. And they now need to part to pursue it alone.

Or so he tells himself.

Nihil, his name is Nihil now. Rebecca decided that if he was going to be Papa Emeritus he needed to start upping his image. Leaning into sophistication. So Nihil it is. Easy come easy go. He settles into his new path, into his new life with the steely Rebecca and son number two. He didn't realize how needy a baby was, and he has fuzzy but happy memories of Primo at this age. He doesn't realize that his late nights performing in Camino's band meant that he never really spent this much time with Primo compared to Secondo. In fact he spends more time with Secondo than Rebecca does due to Rebecca’s intense hours navigating the power struggles within the Church. He didn't realize how much babies cry, but with enough coaxing and mugging he can get some giggly Sibling to watch the child for a few hours while he wanders the quiet wilderness of the Ministry grounds. Sit on a ledge somewhere and light a joint and let the thick smoke invade his mind. He loved getting high and stupid with Nance. Creating nonsensical poems and having drifting half-baked conversations. Making love for hours and feeling every moment of connection.

Rebecca frowns on any intoxication at all. She is beautiful and intelligent but she is icy. Like an expensive collectible on a shelf. But she believed in him, and of course those little words hold sway over him. And one thing led to another and now he's sneaking around alone getting high in an unfamiliar forest.

A feeling comes over him, a new one that he has never experienced before in his life.

Regret.

Regret so constant, so pervasive that he loses sleep. Feelings used to come and go within him, and despite the hardship of his life he had a general air of happiness and satisfaction. But this regret never leaves. It is his constant companion, and no substance in the world no matter how mind-expanding or euphoric has yet to exorcise the ghost of his regrets from his shoulder. And so he looks on his own new family of one unsmiling infant and one beautiful but cold partner and seethes.

He doesn't understand why he hurts people. He doesn't understand why his own heart hurts when he hurts people, and so therefore he runs to the next person he sees, trying to receive comfort from them. It's easy to get into another's good graces. Be a listening ear, be an enthusiastic supporter. Joke and smile and laugh. It happens every time, and in time (every time) they are passing a joint or a bottle between them. Every time they lean close and drown themselves in touches, in kisses. Every time they strip bare and link bodies and try to forget.

And every time he breaks another heart.

Maybe it really is all or nothing.

But it gets easier for him, as the years go on. His heart is nothing but a fine powder of glass after Nance left with Primo. Nothing but a pile of sand to blow away with the wind. He always knew he was a disappointment, a Nothing from the moment he was born. His own father told him that, and in some respects it was a comfort to fall into that destiny.

When the new Mother Imperator chooses him to be a candidate for Papa Emeritus at last, he doesn't notice the outrage from the Church. His own supposed Mentor to be, the great opera singer Papa Emeritus Petruchio, argues for weeks with Sister behind closed doors. But no big deal. The Void itself has chosen him, his new partner Rebecca is advocating for him (perhaps as a consolation prize for missing out on the Mother Imperator title herself) and in the end no mortal can question the Will of the Void. Not even if that choice is a rock musician, or even worse, another American.

The woman with everything and the man with nothing, of course they are drawn together. It is a law of the universe. Before the Elevation ceremony, before the trial of pain he must endure he takes the new Mother Imperator by the hands. “I believe in you,” he says. She looks taken back, almost angry, but for an instant he sees a moment of soft relief in her eyes. At least one person believes in her. A person who would be her first construct of the Void, who would offer up his own left eye to be sliced by her ritual knife. Who would take the boiling essence of the Void into his body to corrupt his blood and tie his soul to her for all eternity. At least that person believes.

What more does she need?

Domestic Fic about Nance, Camino & Nihil

Domestic Fic about Rebecca, Secondo, Nihil & Terzo

Scenes fromt the Void Ghost/Ministry AU

Divider by @gothdaddyissues

#sister imperator #young nihil #ghost band headcanons #ghost band fic #papa emeritus nihil #ghost scenes from the void

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absolutebl · 2 years

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Hello! I am looking for a few good bl to binge!

As a gay man myself, I really like it to have truly good chemistry...some bls I watch the chemistry is ZERO and then there is not a good plotline to back it up either.

I like cute stuff...I like dark stuff...

I really liked Cherry Magic, Manner of Death, KinnPorsche, Kieta Hatsukoi, Seven Days (my first and favourite bl) , The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese (that one hurt tho).

Any recomendations?

Hello!!! (I feel you on Cornered Mouse) and I am so happy to find another Seven Days stan.

10 GREAT Chemistry BLs to Binge right NOW!

For the gays who can sniff a fake a mile away. I notice a decided lack of Taiwan on your list. Is that intentional? Do you not like their style? You're probubly right to avoid Korea. Still a few show up on my list but let’s start with...

JAPAN

1. Old Fashion Cupcake (2022 - Viki)

It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review.

Seriously GO WATCH IT, thank me later.

2. My Beautiful Man AKA Utsukushii Kare (2021 - GaGa)

You said you didn't mind a little dark, trust me on this one: the weird obsessive stalker angst will absolutely be resolved in the best way possible. You liked Seven Days so you don’t mind some traditional yaoi nonsense. This BL has the single greatest final episode of any I have seen since... honestly I can't remember when. It's brilliant.

One of the most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade, as weird and as messed up as any 2000′s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It used seriously old school problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly uncompromising piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way - Japanese cinema, uncompromising. Full review of me losing my mind.

This show won the Grand Prix “My Best TV Award” at the 16th Galaxy Awards.

TAIWAN

Okay so the problem with the Taiwanese stuff, in general, is not chemistry but story. They are all over the place with story. And they can go very very VERY sappy.

3. We Best Love 1 (No. 1 For You) & 2 (Fighting Mr. 2nd) (2021 - WeTV)

Brilliant acting saved this show from a messy (pretty classically manga) narrative with a lot of angst. You have to buy in to a yaoi aesthetic with this one, accept that things move fast and occasionally confuse, but that everything will be okay. It’s the ultimate pining seme meets the ultimate tsundere uke. WBL successfully manages to combine the best elements of Korean, Thai, and Japanese BL as it exists right now. Couple that to the insane chemistry from the leads, and we have one of the greatest BLs of all time, cooking higher heat to a recipe I doubt anyone else will ever be able to replicate since only Taiwan is this flexible.

Like Seven Days I think the two parts exist together and should be watched as a pair. Unfortunately, to do so legally you need to join WeTV. I am considering doing this just to gank a clean copy of season 2, but... that’s neither here no there. You can watch season 1 for free in most territories, but you’ll need to go grey for 2 and 2 has some of the best acting and best chemistry I have EVER seen in a BL. It’s is brilliant. It’s all the leads though. SamYu are magic, you can see why the internet lost its collective mind over them.

4. Be Loved In House: I Do (2021 Viki)

A cute classy office set BL with a few plot raised eyebrows, but no other concerns. ALL THE TROPES plus a general sweet softness that’s pretty rare from Taiwan, who usually prefer to go hard.

5. DNA Says Love You (2022 GaGa)

An under appreciated gem. It’s a bit challenging to suffer through the paranormal investigators plot line, but at least it HAS a plot? When Amber enters the narrative he is so luminous it’s hard to tear your eyes away and the chemistry is on point with both couples (one LTR, one just starting out). DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The last few eps really are special and life/love affirming - and the ending is big-grin charming. Full review.

6. HIStory 2: Crossing the Line (2018 Viki)

Taiwan’s best example of classic BL with a sports romance foundation using some of the most prototypical (but fortunately least offensive) yaoi tropes. One of my first and still favorites from Taiwan. Kinda like the Seven Days of Taiwanese BL, everything is on point and very yaoi. (You might consider the companion piece too, Right or Wrong. It’s rougher going but very formative for BL + marriage equality.)

7. HIStory 3: Trapped (2019 Viki)

If you don’t mind a bit of a shaky ending, everything else about this show is good. It has great plot, fantastic characters, and really excellent chemistry form both couples. Also FINE arse suits. If you liked KinnPorsche and want more Mafia BL with high heat it’s this one, Long Time No See, and Manner of Death.

Basically this is the definition of enemies to lovers. This is a cop + the mafia man he is chasing but WAIT: they fall in love. Added bonus side couple = assassin and nerd cop ALSO falling in love. It’s great. All the leads are stellar. Its high heat, fun action, and a bit of a mystery drama but pretty about all of it. My only warning is that the main couple doesn’t entirely end up together, it’s implied, but... amorphous ending.

KOREA

8. Semantic Error (2022 Viki)

You might give this one a try. For Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have managed. And it is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. Korea hit it entirely out of the Parks with Semantic Error by doing a university set BL featuring everything we expect from BL just done exactly right. It has Korea's signature quality executed perfectly, and added bonus good story, great pacing, stunning visuals, and fantastic chemistry. You cannot ask for more from a BL, let alone a KBL. Full review.

9. To My Star (2021 Viki)

It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. If you can wade through the dead fish kisses there is massive pay out at the end. There is a second season of PAIN, but it has more great chemistry. Up to you if you wanna wade in, but if you don’t mind messy.... (Full review includes my reservations about season 2.)

10. Some More (2018 GaGa)

My last pick from Korea, this one is a Strongberry short, and it is SO very gay. About a city boy on a bike tour who gets injured and rescued by a taciturn, but (as it turns out) quite gay, farmer. Age gap, country mouse/city mouse, SO CUTE. Just too short.

Some other ones that are a bit more... complex?

These will be chewy and more work to watch, like Cornered Mouse.

Long Time No See (2017 Strongberry GaGa) - One of Strongberry’s few longer pieces and I don’t think this is strictly BL. It’s about assassins on either side of a terf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche you will LOVE this show.

Blueming (2022 iQIyI) - It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, (which is expected for Korea).

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count AKA The BL That Shall Not Be Named) (2019 Viki) - Some of the best BL and best chemistry ever put on screen. Up until they move into together. Seriously, the moment they do, stop watching. Save yourself.

Plus and Minus (2022 Viki) - There is something off bout this show that I can’t put my finger on. I liked it but... the separation is forced and it could have ben a lot shorter. Chemistry is good though. It’s about codependent besties of 20 years finding their way into a romantic relationship. A bit cheesy, with lots of domesticity and occasional dumb drama. (But gay boys and chaos bis? What can ya do?) It’s not groundbreaking but it is a solid sweet unassuming little show of a style that is perhaps a bit more Thai than it is Taiwanese but I’m okay with that.

His the movie (2020 Viki) - His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. This movie is beautiful and the setting is unique and interesting but I'm not wild about the ending. Moody arthouse smackdoodle is going to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. Honestly, I think I mostly liked this because I have a mad crush on Miyazawa Hio (Shun).

The Pornographer series, specifically the first one AKA The Novelist. (2018 Viki maybe) - emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, and explicit. It’s your party you cna watch if you wanna.

Okay, what about Thailand?

You don’t name many from Thailand (Just KP & MoD) which is the juggernaut of BL and this is... telling.

Thailand can excel at chemistry, but since they are pretty married to seme/uke they aren’t very “actually” gay. If you know what I mean? Also there is a common thread, especially with the pulps, where side couples have more and better chemistry than the leads.

That said here are a few Thai BLs with great lead pairs that you might try...

Bad Buddy (2022 YouTube) - I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this one. This was GMMTV’s flagship BL and it started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Romeo masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. Some of the friendship and family dynamics are overworked, but it has great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. Full review.

Dark Blue Kiss (2019 YouTube) - this one is a buy in to get familiar with the characters (I have a how to watch guide here). But PeteKao are worth it. They are an LTR, but it’s on point. This is classic Thai BL with a university setting, great acting and complex characters, one of my favorite friendship groups, friends to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers, multiple angsty af coming outs, including a long stretch of a secret relationship. High production values, good chemistry, BL side couple, not much queer rep, but lots of classic tropes and some great domesticity.

Dear Doctor, I’m Coming For Your Soul (2022 iQIYI) - This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover. Basically it’s the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service. High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just painfully beautiful. Full review.

Love By Chance (2018 YouTube & Viki) - of all the ones I put on this list I dithered over this one the most. The physical chemistry is a little off but the emotional and romantic thread between these two is truly remarkable. And if you think of Ae as Demi, it works. I love these two so much, I might not be sufficiently objective though. (MAME warning) AePete’s meet cute is one of the best ever put on screen. They are just so genuine and soft with each other, it’s hard not to love them from the first moment. Many of the side couples are... difficult, but you can’t fault the leads. They will remain in your heart a really long time. Now there is some abusive ex action, but it’s victoriously dealt with by our tiny crass love muffin hero.

Lovely Writer (2021 YouTube) - Thailand criticizes itself and the BL industry while simultaneously giving us classic seme/uke with great chemistry in a one-two punch of “we love it, but are we supposed to? and must we think this hard, yet enjoy it SO MUCH?“ This show won’t appeal or make sense to those who don’t already have at least some Thai BL watching experience. What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is critical and self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters.

Not Me (2022 YouTube) - GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL OffGun. THIS IS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience in the BL world - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly a lot of BL elements, but in the end that’s not what the show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still an amazing moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review. How good is OffGun’s chemistry, really? I have questions. But you still might like it. (OffGun & The Evolution of Chemistry for a BL Pair)

6 Thai BLs you suffer through ONLY for the chemistry

Seriously not a lot else to recommend these, but they are master classes in pretty boys kissing. Linked to my reviews when possible. These are mostly on YouTube.

Cutie Pie

Love Mechanics (either version)

Love Stage!!! (the THAI VERSION)

Secret Crush On You

Why R U?

TharnType - honestly this is the beginning of it all, so far as chemistry in Thai BL is concerned. If you want to know how KinnPorsche could even exist in this world, blame the success of this BL and MewGulf in particular.

I’m not putting any VBL on this list because the stories are just so incomprehensibly bad, but if you want to try one, do Mr Cinderella.

So far as Pinoy BL is concerned, My Day is AMAZING on chemistry but also bonkers and very difficult to get hold of these days.

More on this subject:

11 BLs with the BEST Chemistry - putting aside heat levels, quality of production, and story

Giving Good Kiss in BL - Defining Chemistry

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL

BL Age Dynamics & CHEMISTRY on screen

HIGH HEAT BL

(source)

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firstagent · 5 months

Note

Since you enjoy questions ranking between seasons, here’s one:

Assume the concept of Digimon never existed. Rank the main cast of each season in order of how cohesive the friend group would be if they met under mundane circumstances (with 1 being the group that would still easily be a tight-knit group of friends and last place being the biggest dumpster fire)

Wavered over this a few times and realized how crucial it was to define the circumstances better. Even if they're mundane, everything changes depending on if they signed up for whatever brought them together (like a club), how long they were stuck together (like camp), and if they had to accomplish anything as a team (like a group assignment). In the end, we're going with the most mundane of the mundane scenarios, and guaranteed to get diverse groups of kids interacting... if 80s movies are any indicator:

Saturday Detention

Just the characters stuck alone in a library for eight hours. Other than pre-existing relationships and friendships, they have never met before. They have no obligation to meet after this. They're supposed to be silent and doing their own busywork, but lol no.

No weed. Probably.

Frontier- If any group could benefit from eight hours of group therapy *without* something trying to kill them every five minutes, it's these guys. Takuya's not going to keep his mouth shut for long, Junpei's going to try (and fail) to flirt with Izumi, and as irritated as Koji is with everyone's antics, everyone's going to open up fast when Koichi pipes in with "hey I think you're my brother." They'll get a lot accomplished and won't forget it afterwards.

Zero Two- Absolute madness for the first hour or so when Daisuke and Takeru get into some stupid argument that Hikari has to mediate. This will get Miyako joining in trying to get them to shut up, with Iori jumping in when he finally gets sick of it. That'll calm everyone down and get them to realize that the way Miyako interacts with Hikari and Daisuke makes her a perfect fit in their group, dragging in Iori by force. Despite sitting in the back trying not to get noticed, Ken will get roped into their antics before the end of the day, and Daisuke will insist on inviting him to all future hangouts.

Adventure: (2020)- Two key reasons this version finishes ahead of the '99 team: this Taichi and Yamato don't argue that much, and Taichi's going to insist on everyone getting involved in whatever stupidity they invent to pass the time. Some will protest. Not just Joe: Koshiro will be awkward about it and Mimi may consider their goofing off beneath her until she can't resist joining the fun. They're not baring their souls or anything, but everyone will enjoy the nonsense too much to want to give it up at the end of the day.

Adventure- There's a clear line of demarcation between Taichi/Hikari/Sora/Koshiro, Yamato/Takeru, Joe, and Mimi. With nothing pressing on them, the streams aren't going to cross as easily. They'll slowly turn around once Hikari and Takeru start playing and Joe or Sora grow receptive to Mimi insisting on socializing with them. Yamato or Sora might accidentally let something meaningful out to somebody and a few new individual bonds will certainly be forged, offering some hope that the entire group of eight becomes a fully fledged squad.

Tamers- What are they supposed to do in detention if they're not writing poignant goodbyes to their frazzled teacher? You'll definitely see Takato, Hirokazu, and Kenta properly welcome Juri into their group longterm, but the others might be more of a struggle. There won't be as much of an impetus to bring in Jianliang, and he'd be content to keep to himself while keeping his sister out of trouble. Ryo might be welcomed in if the boys don't fanboy too hard, and approaches will be made towards Ruki. It's hard to say she'd be too receptive from anyone other than Juri, who's already a bit of an outsider, so it's an awkward fit going forward.

Xros Wars- Taiki and Akari have a good bond. Yuu and Nene have a good bond. But at some point these two pairs will get snippy with each other and start co-mingling. They will barely tolerate Zenjirou, but he's attached to them whether they like it or not. Kiriha's a wild card, since Taiki's going to try to include him once the other five are established. He'll probably cave after a bit, and enough pestering might get him to reveal something deeper that makes them consider staying friends in the future. But without anything meaningful like that, they probably can only stand each other in small groups and limited doses.

Appmon- Haru is perfectly content ignoring everyone except Yuujin and his stack of books. Rei is perfectly content ignoring everyone period. Eri and Astra will attempt to strangle each other at least once in the first two hours. But you'd hope they'd settle down and at least have a conversation where they gain a begrudging respect for each other. And they're both so damn gregarious that they'd at least try to get to know the other kids in the room. Haru and Yuujin are receptive and pleasant to talk to, but not really interested in hanging out afterwards. Wildly, this team shoots up multiple spots if we let in Ai as her instant rapport with Haru, Yuujin, Eri, and Rei would create a lot of meaningful connections in a hurry.

Hunters- First instinct is to put them at the bottom since none of them even come to like each other even with a world-threatening event they need to work together to prevent. But similar to Frontier or 2020, some of them just won't shut up. Tagiru is already friends with Taiki and Yuu and will absolutely try to suss out Ryouma, Ren, and Airu. And since those three may not have known each other prior to the Hunt, it might actually work. Not becoming friends with Tagiru so much, but in coaxing them out of their shell so that they talk to the others. Ryouma and Taiki could absolutely have a conversation contentious enough that they both appreciate the candor. Yuu and Airu will still turn into Yuu and Airu. There's every reason to expect everyone to end the day counting the minutes until they never have to see each other again, but there are enough pockets of potential that they all may get together as an excuse to exploit those nuggets of interest even though they all kind of hate each other.

Savers- Touma's happy to keep to himself and Yoshino's going to feel like she's babysitting Masaru and Ikuto. Those two will be absolutely insufferable breaking every rule they can, and Touma getting annoyed and rising to Yoshino's aid could well lead to a proper fistfight. Once Yoshino doles out the icepacks, there's a glimmer of potential if they can calm down and talk through their baggage, but even if they can come to some sort of understanding and appreciation for each other, they're all very different people at different stages of their life and unlikely for it to be more than a fleeting moment.

Ghost Game- Bottom for Ghost Game? But they made a pretty cool team, I hear you say. But like Appmon, they were forced into it! And judging by how much their friends comment on how weird it is that they hang out, they're probably not doing so under normal circumstances. This scenario brings them together, with one problem: Kiyoshiro's going to be a stickler for the rules and insist that they keep to themselves. And Hiro's just going to go along with that because he's Hiro. Ruli of course will be incensed about not getting to socialize, but again Hiro's not inclined to rock the boat. As a consolation, this may be the most likely team to feature some closet action as she'd absolutely drag Hiro away from Kiyoshiro for a chance to talk. But even if they strike up some sort of manipulative friendship, Kiyo's not a part of any future plans.

Oh, and since I've been thinking about this since the 02 movie...

Honorable Mention: The Movie Triplets- Maybe not quite as potent without their partnership challenges, but try sticking Wallace, Meiko, and Lui in a room together. Lui's got an awful past, Meiko has a deep compassion for broken things, and Wallace can meet them both halfway... plus willingly starts conversations! Eight hours will forge these three into an incredible friend group... or the most uncomfortable three-sided love triangle. Or both. Probably both.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon 02 #digimon tamers #digimon frontier #digimon savers #digimon xros wars #appmon #digimon ghost game

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idungoofed · 1 year

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Peli’s Wedding!

Din Djarin x Fem

Yeah yeah I know I know the crest is gone but it is alive in my head and how is one meant to get ready for a wedding in a teeny tiny N-1 Starfighter huh? HUH? (I am ignoring your screams for literally anywhere else.)

It’s Peli’s wedding! She’s getting married to Mok Shaiz’s Twi’lek majordomo, (As far as I can see he never got given an official name, and I thought it was funnier to work with that than use a name generator) and you’re invited along with Din and Grogu as well as some other familiar characters. Any wedding traditions I have pulled from my own personal experiences, and weaved it into my very limited knowledge of the Star Wars universe it is what it is. This had been super fun to write, and I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff, just so much fluff. Soft!Din, helmet comes off, no use of Y/N, allusions to sex but no actual smut, and some fictional alcohol consumption.

Word count: 3,872

___

“Why do we have to go to this thing again?” Din sighed outside the fresher door, his voice coming out modulated beneath the helmet.

“Stop calling it ‘this thing’! It’s Peli’s wedding/” You say for what felt like the 100th time that day.

“And who’s she getting married to?” Ask’s Din, his tone challenging.

“The Twi’lek guy that used to be Mok Shaiz’s majordomo-“

“You don’t even know his name!” He exclaimed.

You could imagine him outside the door now, finger pointing as he accused you.

He wasn’t wrong, you had no idea what he was called; for some reason that guys name just wouldn’t stick in your head.

But that wasn’t important, you were all going for Peli anyway, and that was that.

It had been a surprise when you got the invite on the holopad, you’d seen Peli since your last visit to Mos Espa but she hadn’t let on she was even dating the Twi’lek, let alone wanting to marry him.

But you weren’t blind, and you saw the spark between them in the aftermath of the Pyke Syndicate showdown and Boba’s rancor destroying half of Mos Espa. They were an unlikely couple with Peli’s fiery nature and no nonsense personality, and his air of grandeur and love of the finer things in life, but you know all too well that opposites attract.

You’d been with Din for just over a year now, after he got you out of a sticky situation with a sore-loser Wookie and a game of sabacc.

Since then you took on the role of baby sitter to his adorable green kid, occasional mechanic, and what you liked to think a giant loveable pain in his arse.

You were a talkative ray of sunshine compared to Dins brooding quietness. (And he realised quickly his menacing, helmed stare had zero effect on quelling your bouts of talkativeness.

He could of gotten rid of you, but he didn’t, because under all his sighing, arm-crossing and unimpressed head tilts at you, he would miss you too much if you were gone. The Crest felt brighter to him with you around, and Din had needed that light when things got dark.

You’d seen Din through some rough times what with losing the kid, getting him back, and then watching the heartbreak of Din giving him up to the Jedi.

You grew closer after that, seeking comfort from the gaping green hole that was left in both your hearts. The simmering attraction between you two seemed to break like a dam, and one night on the Crest, after too many spotchkas and reminiscing of your time with the child, you ended up in a tangle of limbs in Dins small bunk. It was the only good that came of the loss of Grogu- you and Din realising how much more you needed each other now.

Then who showed up in the middle of a war ground in Mos Espa? Grogu. Of course. Saving his father with the force at the last minute once again. Your happy family together and complete.

—

You finished the last few touches of your hair having opting to wear it down for once, and rechecked your make up.

The dress your wore was made of a silky green material that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was the first time you were getting to wear it, having impulsively bought it in a market on Coruscant.

You looked at yourself in the fresher mirror one last time.

“Are you almost done?” Called Din through the door, “We’re going to be late if we don’t-“

His words died in his throat by you pressing the button to open the door.

You stood before him, slightly taller than he was used to with your heels on, and looking more beautiful than he had ever seen you.

Dins silent stare unsettled you, and you started worrying about your appearance, your hand coming up to fiddle with the tendrils of hair around your face.

“What?” You ask, brow crinkling. “Is it too much?”

Din took two slow steps towards you, his body crowding yours. “You look… beautiful.” He said, his hand coming up to cup your face as his other came to the lip of his helmet and pulled it off.

You only caught a glimpse of his handsome face before his lips claimed your own. His hand that was on your face traveled down, landing on your hip, his thumb making small sensual circles.

“You know, we could just go to the evening reception?” He said pulling his lips away. You’d gotten to know the look in his eyes all too well over the past months, and you couldn’t deny it was tempting, but you hadn’t spent the best part of the last hour making yourself up for nothing.

You bring your hands up to his face, and lean in close as if to kiss him, but before your lips connect you pull back. “What? And risk ruining my hair? I don’t think so.”You pat his cheek. “Down boy.” You can’t help the smirk that spreads across your face at the sight of Din rolling his eyes. You duck under his arms out of reach, but not before catching sight of the resigned smile on his face.

You walk over the where Grogu was currently napping, gathering him in your arms and transferring him to his floating crib. He coo’d in his sleep as you fuss over a little ribbon you’d fashioned into a bow tie, and attached to his clothing under his chin.

“Okay, I think we’re ready.” You say when satisfied with the child’s appearance and turn back to Din, his helmet firmly back in place. “Just one thing before we go.”

“What?”

“You really wearing that?” You ask, gesturing to his usual attire of brown flight suit and shiney beskar armour.

Din crosses his arms over his chest, his weight shifting to one leg as his visor stares back at you menacingly.

“Just kidding!” You say as you walk past him and out the shop door, unable to hold in your burst of laughter.

You wouldn’t have him any other way.

It doesn’t take long for you and Din to walk to the wedding venue - Peli’s ship yard. Although it was hard to even recognise the place with all the decorations.

The bulk of the yard had been cleared out, which basically meant any ship parts had been pushed to the sides. Streamers were hung from one side of the yard to the next, while colourful flowers adorned the walls and sat in anything that could be used as a container.

In the middle of the yard two rows of chairs sat facing a small makeshift podium adorned with an floral arch. Two pit droids were currently tugging a chair back and forth in an argument over how many were needed for each row.

There were a number of other guests milling around in the yard already, many you didn’t know, however there were a few you did.

The Frog Lady you and Din had helped get to Trask was standing to one side, her husband next to her as their three froglets played at their feet.

You wave at them and as soon as the now awake Grogu spotted them began to fuss in his crib wanting out.

“Okay kid, you can say hi.” You say, picking him up and setting him on the ground, but in an after thought say, “But try keep clean, don’t forget you’re the flower kid!”

“And no trying to eat them.” Din says to Grogu, wagging his finger which earns him a long-suffering look from the green child.

Making the most of a second alone, Din wraps his arms around your waste and pulls you to his chest. “You really do look stunning today, cyar’ika.”

You place you hands on the cool metal of his chest plate, smiling and look up into his visor. “Thank you, Din, you’re looking particularly shiny today.”

He huffs a laugh out at your silly compliment, shaking his head.

You hear your names called from across the yard. You turn and leave Dins embrace, and spot Boba and Fennec walking over to you.

Boba was in his usual attire of green and red Mandalorian armour, although you could tell it had been polished recently and there were fewer dents that usual. Fennec, was attracting stares from the male - and some female, guests. Looking stunning in a black dress, not too dissimilar to her usual attire, it had a practical style with thigh splits for easy movement and where you could see glimpses of multiple weapons holstered, and a high neck and capped sleeves.

“Boba! Fennec!” You greeted them, pushing Boba’s out-stretched hand out the way and going in for a hug, before moving on to Fennec.

He was another man in your life who you refused to let their cold exterior intimidate you. You saw yourself how he coo’d over his rancour; he was a big softie under that beskar.

As the four of you made small talk the droids started gathering the guests towards the empty chairs ready to begin the ceremony.

You turned to get Grogu, who to all appearances was attempting to lick one of the froglets arms.

“Grogu!” You scold, scooping him up, luckily before Frog Lady saw. “Was eating half of their unborn siblings not enough?” You whisper to him.

Grogu stared up at you, the picture of innocence.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you’re so cute.”

___

The ceremony went off without a hitch, Grogu did his job perfectly, leaving a little trail of petals down the isle. Well almost perfectly - he did stuff a few handfuls in his mouth as he went, much to the amusement of guests.

The word beautiful didn’t do Peli justice, she looked straight up bad ass as she strutted down the isle. She wore a white fitted jumpsuit and topped it off with a matching blazer with black lapels. Her curly hair bounced around her face and was adorned with tiny white flowers.

You almost made it through the first set of vows before you crumbled, the joyous emotions of the day finally getting to you. Luckily you weren’t the only one, a Jawa in the opposite row seemed to be taking it pretty hard.

Din glanced at you, doing a double take when he saw your teary eyes. “Mesh’la are you really crying?” He whispered, not unkindly.

You nodded, grabbing the only thing you could to try mop up your face - Dins cape.

He let out an amused sigh next to you. “Do you have to use that? You’re gonna get it all snotty.”

“I just love love, you know?! Look at them, they’re just so happy together!” You hiccup, eyes on the bride and groom.

Din didn’t take his eyes from your face, bringing his hand up he caught a stray tear on your cheek with a gloved finger. “Yeah, they really are.”

Confetti showers around you as Peli walks back down the isle, hand in hand with her new husband. You still didn’t know his name as Grogu let out a loud gurgle during the vows causing you to miss it again.

Grogu squeals on Dins lap as he tries to catch the paper flecks in his tiny hands.

You hadn’t been able to stem your tears yet, you couldn’t help it - weddings just made you feel all gooey and emotional with love

Din wraps his arm around you. “Did you see Peli slip him the tongue?”

You laugh-sob and dab at your eyes with Din’s cloak still clutched in your hands. “Yeah” You say, sniffing. “It was beautiful.”

You hear a modulated huff of a laugh in your ear as Din lowers his head down to bump gently against yours in a chaste keldabe kiss.

The evening reception started with the bride and grooms first dance. Peli led her Majordomo on to the dance floor and then proceeded to lead in the dance as well. It was typical Peli, but her new husband didn’t seem to mind.

You adored watching them glide across the floor to the music, eyes only for each other. It was beautiful, but turned slightly awkward when they unabashedly started making out, Peli’s hands making their way south to grip her new husbands butt.

The other guests that had been watching started finding their feet or the decorations above very interesting, and you took that as your cue to take Grogu back to his crib.

The music wound down as you stepped away with Din behind you, but before you could go far you heard Peli screech your name.

“Where are you going missy?! I’m about to chuck this thing and I need you front and centre!” She called to you, waving her bridal bouquet in the air.

You turned back around, eyes darting between Peli and Din. It’s not like you didn’t want to join in, you loved wedding traditions, but this one? You loved Din, and knew he loved you - you’d told each other as much when your relationship shifted from friendship to more, and although of course you wanted to be more - Din’s riduur, you didn’t want to feel like you were forcing the idea on to him.

Before you could make your next move, Din stepped in front of you and plucked Grogu from your arms.

He leaned in close to you. “You better not keep the bride waiting.”

You looked up him, your brows knitted together. “You know what this tradition means right?” You ask.

Din simply nods his head and nudges you forward. You didn’t catch what he whispered to Grogu after.

A grin stretches across your face as his words sink in. You jut your chin forward and straighten your shoulders, and with an air of confidence take your place among the small crowd of other female guests.

Peli tosses the bouquet over her head, and you’re jostled by the women around you, getting pushed towards the back of the group. Peli had over-shot, the flowers on course to tumble over your heads. However just as you thought it was going to pass you by, it seemed to hit an invisible wall, stopping it in its tracks, and causing it to tumble down into your waiting hand.

You raise the bouquet over your head victoriously, while the other females groaned in disappointment. Your eyes find Din, and you excitedly skip over to him.

You can hear his husky laugh as you reach him. “That’s my girl.”

“You know some would call that cheating.” You say not in the least bit mad about it, and then ruffle the top of Grogu’s head. “Thanks little guy.”

“So Mando! I guess it’s your turn next!” Taunts Peli good-naturedly from behind you.

Din looks down at you through his visor, and although you couldn’t see it, a smile was forming on his handsome face. “I guess it is.”

___

The party was in full swing, the band from the local cantina playing up-beat numbers that have you wiggling your shoulders and tapping your feet in your chair. The dance floor was starting to fill up with people throwing shapes.

“Okay I’m going in.” You say downing the last of your drink and turning to Din. “Fancy joining me?”

“You know I don’t dance.”

“Oh come on, just one? Please?” You plead, it wasn’t as fun dancing on your own, and Grogu was fast asleep again in his crib.

“No. I’ll watch.” Said Din, and you knew there was no point in begging by the finality of his tone.

“Fine.” You huff and shimmy towards the dance floor. You turn and try once more to change your Mandalorians mind, swinging and catching him with an invisible lasso, but he just crosses his arms and shakes his helmed head, so you shrug and dive into the crowd.

You come back to the table a few times, the first to kick your heels of, and then only in quick visits to gulp at your drink in an attempt to cool down before darting off again.

“Instead of staring at her longingly why don’t you ask her to dance?” Said Boba across the table from Din, which was littered with party poppers and empty glasses.

“I can’t dance.” Replied Din matter of factly.

“I don’t think she cares, Mando, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She’s turned down every male here who’s asked her to dance, she only wants you.”

Din looked from Boba and back to you, as you hold your nose and mime going under water with the Frog Lady and Peli.

He sighs heavily, knowing Boba was right, and pushes himself up from the chair to head towards you. As he does the song changes to a slower number, and he watches as Frog Lady and Peli pair off with their husbands.

You stand there, looking around at the different couples pairing off to dance together, and are unable to stop the pang of jealousy. You turn, deciding you better go back to the table to wait the slow dance out. Although as you do, you almost walk straight into Din.

“Will you dance with me, mesh’la?” He asks, his voice only loud enough for you to hear.

The smile that lights up your face makes Din wish he asked you sooner. He places his hands on your hips as you wrap yours around his neck, resting your head against his chest plate, and start to gently sway to the music.

Din says your name. “I’m sorry I can’t dance.”

You look up to him and follow where his visor is pointed - at the Frog Lady and her husband who were gracefully pirouetting around the dance floor.

You bring your fingers to the side of his helmet, turning his face to yours. “Hey, I don’t care about that, just having you here is enough, I love you Din, a few bad dance moves won’t change that.” You finish with a smirk.

Your Mandalorians shoulders judder under your arms as he lets out a chuckle. “I love you too cyar’ika.” He said, lowering his head to yours.

___

As the evening winds down to an end, you bid goodnight to Boba and Fennec who were finishing off another bottle of spotchka - those two could drink, and wave goodbye to Frog Lady.

The bride and groom had disappeared into Peli’s office a while ago, and you were /not/ about to interrupt them. You didn’t need that image burned into your brain.

You both approached the Crest arm in arm with Grogu still fast asleep in his crib floating in front of you.

“I’m not quite tired just yet, I’m going to look at the stars from the roof.” You say, entering the ship.

“No!” Din busts out, causing you to snatch your hand away from the ladder you were about to climb.

He clears his throat, tripping over his words. “It’s just… I… Grogu wants you to put him to bed!”

You raise an eyebrow, and look over at Grogu. “But he’s not even awake-“

“He told me earlier.” Din says, dashing to the ladder and disappearing through the hatch.

“Ohh-kay.” You say completely bewildered. Told him? How?

When you carry Grogu to the his little hammock he wakes briefly, wining at the disturbance, but he quickly settled back down into the nest of blankets you create for him. All the while you can hear Dins heavy footsteps moving around above you, at one point hearing something skitter across the floor and a resulting, “Dank Farrik!”.

After you hear him climb the second ladder to the ships roof you double check Grogu is asleep, stop by the fresher and then head on up.

Your head breaches the hatch and your eyes widen at the sight before you. Candle’s flicker on the roof, their soft light glinting off the metal exterior and the armour of the man standing before you. His helmet is discarded at his feet next to Peli’s bridal bouquet.

“Din? What’s-“

“Come here, mesh’la.” He says, his voice soft and his hands reaching for you.

You move toward him, picking out a path through the candles, and when you’re in front of him he takes your hands in his. He’d removed his gloves and his hands were soft and warm against your own.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you… ask you something for a while now, I just didn’t know how yet.” He says, voice hushed as he studies your entwined hands.

You blink up at him, waiting for him to reveal where he was going with this.

He breaths your name, and looks up into your eyes. You swallow down a gasp at the raw emotion behind them.

“You’ve been the brightest star in my night sky, if I didn’t have you by my side after Grogu left… I don’t think I would of gotten through the heartbreak.”

You open your mouth but he shakes his head as to say he’s not finished. “You held me together, and didn’t stop or let go even when he came back. You’re a part of our family… and, if you’d like, I’d like if you were a part of our clan too.”

Your eyes are brimming with tears at his confession, your heart so full you feel you’d be able to see it thudding in your chest. “What do you want to ask me, Din?” You say barely above a whisper.

“Will you be my riduur?”

You’re only able to utter a simple “Yes.” before Din’s mouth crashes down to your own. You kiss him back with equal passion, tears spill over as you close your eyes and relinquish yourself to him. There’s so many things you want to say that you instead pour into the kiss. How much you love him too, how long you’ve wanted him to utter them words, and how complete it makes you feel to be officially wanted as a part of their clan.

You break the kiss to catch your breath, and Din’s fingers swipe at the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“Don’t cry, sweet girl.”

“Sorry, I just love-“

“Love.” He finishes for you, chuckling. “I know.”

Din takes leads you to the blanket you hadn’t yet noticed under the candles, and you both settle down on it, lying back with you snuggled under Din’s arm, head resting on his broad chest.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Asks Din.

“You might of mentioned it once or twice.” You answer playfully.

“Hmm, not nearly enough then.” He says, holding you tighter.

You glance over to his other side where his helmet sits next to the flowers, and a thought clicks in your head.

“Peli was totally in on this wasn’t she?” You ask, hearing laughter rumble through Din.

“She might of helped.” He admits.

You both break into laughter, clinging to each other, your future together spread out under a blanket of starlight and Tatooines three moons hanging full in the night sky above.

Thanks for reading!💕

Don’t mind me just tagging some lovelies: @insomniamamma @heythere-mel @whataenginerd @mildlyhopeless

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brightgnosis · 7 months

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I keep hearing from various sources that this Winter's supposed to be a fairly bad one.

I'm ok with losing the Absinthe Wormwood and Mugwort because they're fast growers, if it comes down to it. But the Hyssop was such a slow grower ... I'm wondering if I should just go ahead and dig up the Hyssop, repot it, and bring it in for winter to ensure it keeps- or just leave it and see what comes of it.

Repotting it risks loosing it regardless. But there's still a chance it might keep inground. But I'm still leaning towards repotting it just because it took so dang long for it to even grow the tiny amount that it did and I really don't want to rebuy it next season if I don't really have to because I was able to keep it going, y'know?

Digging almost anything up right before winter, though, is usually such a risky move. Eugh. I'm so conflicted on this one, and I have zero experience with this plant to guide me on it.

ETA: My Husband and I uprooted it and pulled it in tonight, and I'm really glad I did.

I'd checked on everything in the garden before our temps started dropping into the 30's the first time and it was doing ok; about as well as it had been all year- which is to say not great, but at least green. But when we went out today about 90% of it's growth's already died off completely since the temps started doing their switchback* nonsense.

Oklahoma's famous "is it or isn't it" seasonal intermission where it flips back and forth between ~90f and ~30f randomly, and you never know what it's going to be from day to day. Not until it finally decides to get its act together more consistently- which is always a tossup for timing; could be a week of the nonsense, could be 3 months. You literally never know. Just the perks of being in a massive ecological transitional zone.

The plant never got any bigger than my palm throughout the year, despite it supposing to be a semievergreen subshrub that gets quite big- and by this point it should be roughly rivaling my Rosemary in size. But there's only about 4 living stems left on it now, out of the 7 it originally had, and the leaves that are on the remaining ones are shriveled to Antarctica and back. The roots were unhealthy and had significant dieback already, too. Especially compared to some of the healthier plants I dug up alongside it and chucked (because I'm not keeping them).

We'll see if it survives, but it looks kind of grim either way.

ETA 2: For those saying Hyssop "should be hardy to my Zone" ... Yes ... I do know enough to know that it reasonably should be; reasonably speaking, at normal times, in normal seasons, my area shouldn't routinely get cold enough to make it an issue, especially with good Winter protection.

Unfortunately in the last 3 years our Winters have gotten particularly brutal; we've had Ice Storms (a rare phenomenon that only typically occurs about every decade or so, and most frequently in January) occurring twice or more in a season, as early as October. And we're seeing regular temperatures as low as -25f for weeks at a time. We're also getting snow (a phenomenon we don't usually get here that much or for that long, where we mostly just get Sleet- or frozen rain, for those unfamiliar with it- for about a week) more often and in larger quantities than before.

Hyssop is really only cold hardy down to roughly -13f. So even the best Winter protection is not really going to protect Hyssop from those kind of conditions. Especially not in a year when the coming Winter is predicted to be even worse than usual (which includes being even worse than the last 3 pretty bad years that we've already experienced) ... But it's especially not going to protect a palm sized, 1 year old Hyssop plant that's already been struggling all year long to begin with.

Very respectfully and appreciatively: "It should" means absolutely nothing in this circumstance and ultimately doesn't really help me. I'm just going to delete those comments because you're being unhelpful and irrelevant.

#Personal #2023 #My Garden #Garden 2023 #Verderer #Gardening #Green Witch #Green Witchcraft #Oklahoma #Witchy Gardening #Witches Garden #Witch's Garden #Gardenblr #Plantblr

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mbrainspaz · 4 months

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My mom needs to be stopped. I know my gran just tells her everything about my life. I blocked her number about a year ago after she texted me a transphobic rant. She seemed fine with me going no contact so it was crickets until I saw her at my uncle's house over New Years. She ran up to hug me using my name (that she swore she'd never use) and acting like everything was totally fine and normal. After apparently just being totally fine with zero contact for A YEAR? What the hell? I treated this fresh nonsense with the suspicion it deserved but by the second day it was like we were back to normal(ish), sharing funny videos and stories and watching Percy Jackson together. As we were getting ready to leave I hugged her and hesitantly asked, "Is there anything... you wanted to say to me?" She got evasive, shook her head with a fake smile and said, "No." So I said goodbye and drove home with my grandma thinking, WHAT THE F***?! all the way. Ever since then she keeps chiming in from the background on calls with my grandma. Last week she asked if I liked the newest Percy Jackson episode and I... honestly I had no idea how to reply. "Well that was the scene that inspired me to become an urban fantasy writer so yeah, I liked it." Why do you care? She keeps doing it. I'll be telling my gran about something and my mom will just chime in sounding chipper as ever, as if by talking like nothing is wrong she can make the wrongness evaporate. Clearly she still thinks I'm going to hell for being queer. She hasn't had a change of heart and I doubt she ever will. She doesn't know I'm ace because she never asked. She doesn't know what being non-binary means to me because she refused to listen. When I tried to come out she put on blinders and tried to pretend it never happened. She avoided talking to me for 7 months before I blocked her. She still likes all the posts on my art page. No idea what she thinks that's going to accomplish. Like, 'thanks for the crippling insecurities about my creativity I've had to overcome and for never really caring about or supporting any of my dreams—and in fact actively sabotaging some of them—but at least you can click buttons on facebook now.' 'How nice that you're enjoying this so much.' Yeesh. On some level I get it because one of the central toxic properties of my family, courtesy of my dad, was always our ability to pretend like everything was fine and we were all happy. Anything bad that happened—no it didn't. My brother and I have talked about this as adults and we agree it's pretty effed up, but we also don't know how to heal from it. Not while our parents continue to insist on acting like nothing is wrong.

#save me from my family #personal problems #nonbinary #ace #toxic parents #bad parenting #no contact #tw family trauma

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archivalofsins · 2 months

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It will forever be wild to me that everyone else in Milgram had to stand on their own merit, but Kazui and Amane just teamed up for a fucking bit voting wise. Kazui was over there suffering until Purge March came out. Then Amane was just suffering in general. They're both the lowest innocent percentage.

They're just in here, "Yeah, that's good, I guess." We both got fucked over by a majority of the audience just wanting us to get worse at the end of the day so it's whatever. I hope they're both petty enough to go, "Oh, you wanted worse huh let me give you that real quick."

Both of their trials were like objectively the funniest in hindsight. Because it boiled down to a bunch of people for Kazui going what's worse, causing direct and purposeful harm to someone or telling a person the truth. Telling the person the truth, he should've kept lying if he started off that way.

Which is literally what he said when he fucking got here-

Q.18 Do you regret your “murder”?

Kazui: I regret it. I wish I could’ve just kept lying.

Then, he reiterated that throughout his second voice drama. So, anyone who was using that logic to find him guilty was just agreeing with a mindset he already had. Which wouldn't have made him worse it more than likely would have made him go,

"So you've finally saw through all the nonsense. I guess I didn't overestimate Milgram after all."

Since he's paired with Amane because, in contrast to her, he wants a guilty verdict while Amane wants to be found innocent. They both admit to being disappointed with Es and Milgram in their second voice dramas. Because they can't see how a system like this isn't coming to what they believe is the right conclusion.

But Kazui is unlike the other prisoners in the fact that he's not really committed to either verdict. He's literally half in half out. If he's innocent, he's just as willing to sit back and enjoy the ride rather than complain like Yuno does.

Then, with Amane it's literally like okay she's gonna get worse regardless. Milgram isn't going to become a safer environment because this one person is guilty. Definitely didn't make it safer last intermission. So, what do individuals personally want their impact to be?

Is it about the crime like with Kazui? He just did something bad, so it suddenly doesn't matter that he's guarding people in the prison. Or is it about the impact the character can have presently? Amane may attack Shidou, which would not only negatively impact Shidou but Mahiru and anyone else who happens to get injured later as well.

The double standards in reasoning when it came to both of their trials really emphasizes what Yuno, Futa, and Mu implied in their second trial songs. That the audience actually doesn't have any morals, and most people are just doing this for fun because they're bored. When really they should be minding their own business if they don't want to think about it that deeply.

It takes absolutely zero energy to not engage in something that one does not want to engage with. All of trial two can be summed up as either mind your business or keep enabling me. Kazui and Amane's second trials highlight this the most, in my opinion.

Something that won't stop being funny to me.

#gunsli rambles

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darklydeliciousdesires · 7 hours

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Nobody's Girl - Chapter Ten.

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 3,738

Warnings - Adult content throughout, minors DNI!

“Oh, look at this!” Greta announced from her seat upon the rear porch, Emily’s foot in her lap as she and her friend both jointly painted one another’s toenails their usual shade of red. “The menfolk have returned triumphant with a big ole’ corpse!”

“And I see you’re livin’ it up true to long weekend form, sittin’ over there all fried on gin rickeys!” Angelo called back, Greta and Emily snorting with laughter. They were a little merry, feeling that they could shrug off any responsibility they felt bound by morality to uphold, returning to a relieving sight of Filomena listening to records in the lounge while drinking tea, Guiseppe off fishing in the middle distance, and Milania keeping Alessio entertained.

“I’ll get it cut and gutted, fellas.” Robert spoke as they carried it around to the side of the house, where a small outbuilding was located. While he went about dealing with the carcass, the women guessing that the probability of a fresh venison dinner was very high that night, their men went upstairs to wash and change, joining them afterwards with a large whiskey a piece.

“You two had a good day?” Luca asked, jerking his head in the direction of the lounge as he quietened, “and has there been any issues from her in there?”

“Hungover this morning,” Emily mouthed, leaning a little closer to him, “Alessio came and woke me at eight, and she finally got up about forty-five minutes later. She hasn’t been unpleasant or anything, though. Just keeping herself to herself.”

His eyebrows twitched, reaching to rest his hand on her thigh. “Good. I ain’t got no more patience for her shit.” She could understand that, knowing Luca as well as she did. His threshold for nonsense was virtually zero, and she knew too that it had planted a seed of concern, should Filomena be wandering around drunk while she was solely in charge of the kids, since the nanny he paid didn’t live in with them.

Later that evening, once again the woman in question sat at the end of the table only engaging with her children over dinner, knocking back glass after glass of wine, Milania repeatedly looking over at her father with wide eyes.

“Fil, you need to slow it down,” he spoke eventually once the plates had been cleared, leaning forward in his seat. “You put away a bottle to yourself. You want a pickled liver?”

“Says he with a cognac in his hand,” she muttered into her glass, gulping on the Cabernet Sauvignon like she was drawing strength from the deep red liquid.

His mouth tightened, muttering something under his breath that made Emily place a discreet, supportive hand to his thigh beneath the table. “I ain’t the one knockin’ ‘em back like water. You’re making our kids worry, and that ain’t gonna happen on my watch.”

“Fine.” Standing up, she grabbed the almost full second bottle she’d just begun working her way into, a smile of gritted teeth cracking her unimpressed face. “Allow me to move so it’s not on your watch.”

Her sneer had her daughter sighing, Emily wishing she could reach across the table to offer comfort, but knowing she’d likely make things worse if she tried. At least the kid let Greta wrap her up in a hug, advising that maybe it was time for her and her brothers to head up to bed and escorting them.

Her own sons went to go listen to jazz in the front lounge, the guys going to play cards, Greta joining Emily outside once more once she’d got the little ones settled.

They sat enjoying the last of the wine, neither mentioning the black cloud that was Filomena hanging over them and their long weekend away, both separately hoping she actually find a little dignity and knock her behaviour on the head. Instead, they spoke of happier things, like Greta detailing an embarrassing event from a vacation she and her family had taken to Spain a few years back.

“So, I was there, queuing up with the boys again to send ‘em down the water slide, and this woman is behind me. She taps me on the shoulder, and I don’t know much Spanish at all save a few words to get me by, but she said something I recognised about swimsuit. I thought she being complimentary over mine, so thanked her and turned around. This broad taps me again, saying the same thing so I’m like “si señorita, gracias”, and I turn around again. She taps me a third time with these wide eyes, pointing at my ass, which I turned to see was sticking out through a gigantic rip in my swimsuit!”

Emily was in hysterics. “Oh my god!” she cried, “and you’d been walking around like that with your cheeks on show for how long?”

“Couldda been all damned day, dolly! Nobody told me! What in the good god is that, huh? Letting a woman walk around bare assed!”

“I flashed most of fifth avenue last year, when we had that terrible, windy weather just before Christmas. My dress almost went over my head, I was screaming, and Luca? Did my guy help me? Did he hell. He was walking along, shoulders shaking, and I swear I have never heard him laugh like that when he finally turned to me and my beetroot face. He roared!”

“Strange, ain’t it? When the taciturn guys really cut loose with the laughter. He don’t take enough time to see the fun side of life sometimes, your guy, but when he does, hoo, boy!”

“Tell me about it!” she enthused, “we went to go and see that Harold Lloyd movie at the flicks a while back, Safety Last, it was. He couldn’t stop laughing, all the way home, too, and then I thought he was over it. Nope. We were in the middle of having sex and he just snorts and starts up again! I slapped him so damned hard for thinking of a movie when he should have been concentrating on me, and he’s just there, carrying on, apologising, but still laughing!”

“Oh my god! I wouldda made him sleep on the couch!” Greta gasped through her giggles.

“I nearly did! I was furious!”

They continued their laughter, Emily pouring out the last of the wine, hearing the doors open softly, lighting herself a cigarette that Greta had offered. She was hoping to turn around and see Luca, so she could speak the name Harold Lloyd and watch him fall apart, but instead saw the one face she didn’t particularly relish in seeing.

“So,” Filomena spoke, taking a seat at the top of the table, her wine glass replaced for gin, it looked. And smelled. “How many times’a day ar-you layin’ my husband, hmm?”

Oh, god. She was steaming.

“He ain’t your husband anymore, Fil. And it’s rude of you to be asking Emily that,” Greta spoke, drawing her shoulders up as she turned to Emily, giving her a look of support.

“M’just sayin’, it bhetta be ha-lot, y’know. ‘Cuz if ya don’t, he’ll h-only gho lookin’ elsewhere.” She smirked, chuckling into her glass. “He does like the whores, ahfter all.”

Emily could feel her cheeks starting to burn, Greta fixing her with a look, mouthing “stand up for yourself!” before drawing fiercely upon her cigarette.

“You’re embarrassing yourself, Filomena,” she sighed, calming her breathing, knowing that truly, she was the one with the upper hand. She had what the woman wanted, after all. She had him. “Listen, I’d really like us to get along, for the sake of the children. I’m going to be in Luca’s life for the foreseeable. It’s important we at least act civilly towards one another.”

Her words were fair and delivered with quiet cool, Greta smiling proudly. Filomena was only furtherly thunderous.

“You smug lil’ cunt,” she spat, eyeing her with displeasure as she rose to her feet, wobbling, knocking back the rest of her drink. “You ain’t shpecial, y’know. Garbage! That’s s’what y’are!”

Emily raised her eyebrows, smiling. “And yet I’m special enough for your ex-husband to be faithful to. With how vile that mouth of yours is, I can see why he looked anywhere except you for so long.”

Greta winced, unable to stop her nervous giggles at her friend’s sudden swell of bravery, her little show of confidence, those acidic words burning right to Filomena’s core.

It was not taken well.

Her grip tightened upon the empty gin glass, hurling it right at Emily’s face, who ducked with impressive speed, the vessel smashing against the side of the house. “Vile fuckin’ cunt bitch! Gimme m’husband back or I’ll fuckin’ have y’killed!”

She lunged, stumbling, the only thing stopping her being Greta reaching to push her away, Angelo and Luca appearing.

“The fuck is goin’ on?” the latter asked, brows knitting.

“She’s just thrown a glass at Emily, and a barrage of abuse,” Greta spoke, pushing Filomena, her hand retreating when the feral woman scratched her with a yell.

That was it. Now she’d fucked up.

Luca strode for her, grabbing a handful of her dress and hauling her away from the table, turning her around as he pushed her back against the house, a pressed hand to her chest keeping her there.

“Listen to me, and fuckin’ listen good,” he hissed, grasping her jaw and forcing her to give him eye contact. “Sort yourself out, you fuckin’ tragic mess of a woman. Either you get your act together, or those kids, they come and live with me full time. I ain’t trusting a messy fuckin’ drunk to take care of ‘em, and believe me, you ever, ever threaten Emily again, and your ass is out on the streets and your alimony stops dead. You understand me?”

He could do that easily, too. The payments he gave to Filomena were not court ordered, a huge chunk coming out of his illegitimate earnings, so there was truly nothing she could do to stop him from ceasing the four hundred a week she got to take care of herself, the children, or the house still in his name. He knew that the dissolution of his marriage was mostly his fault, but this, this drunken lashing out, it was all her.

“Fuck off.” she slurred, pulling herself free of his grasp as she waved her hand around “Fuck all’a youse!” Off she staggered into the house, Greta saying she’d go fetch a broom to deal with the glass, Emily walking to Luca and pulling him into a hug.

“I'm sorry, honey. That was mostly my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten sassy with her but in my defence, I was pissed off with her mouth,” she spoke, sighing, feeling his arms tighten around her before he let go.

“Ain’t nothin’ you could have said that warranted her throwin’ a fuckin’ glass at your face, EJ. She’s the one in the wrong, not you.”

“I know,” she lamented, rubbing his arms before moving to shift the table back, seeing Greta with a broom and newspaper in her hands emerging from the house. “I could have been a little more mature than taunting the woman that I’m the one you stuck faithful to.”

“That ain’t immature,” he spoke, moving the chair for her, “that’s plain fact, doll.”

“And you did start being very cordial and adultlike in the face of her childishness, my sweet,” Greta spoke, shifting past to begin sweeping the glass, Emily taking the paper from under her arm and bending to carefully begin placing the larger shards onto it. “Telling her that you really wanted for you both to be cordial at the very least for the sake of the children. That’s probably what lit her fuse, to be honest. She knows you’re the bigger woman, as well as the one her husband is doing more damned laying with than a lino company.”

Luca couldn’t help but laugh at that, and when it was just them again back in their bedroom, he made sure to lay her very, very thoroughly.

“When you said you’d take the kids off of her, if she didn’t get herself sorted, how would that happen?” Emily asked, lying with her leg rested over his hips, Luca’s hand drawing idle swirls across her soft skin. “We don’t have the room in the apartment. It’d be difficult with school as well, since Manhattan is an almost an hour’s drive away.”

“Not if we moved to the city,” he replied, turning to look at her. “We need a proper place to live instead of an apartment above a gin joint. I want the kids to spend more time with me, you too, and then there’s the matter of our own kids as well.” He reached for her stomach, stroking it with a smile. “Can’t wait to see this belly all rounded with my baby.”

Her eyes widened a little. He wanted her to have his babies? “Really? You want kids with me?”

Chuckling softly, he leaned to kiss her. “I’m only surprised it hasn’t happened already, cara mia. We ain’t exactly been careful.”

True, they hadn’t. Emily had considered wearing a cap to prevent such, but never gotten around to it, and for Luca, wearing a French Letter was a completely unheard of concept, unless he was with a whore who insisted. There was nobody more surprised than him that he hadn’t contracted a rampant case of the syph because of it, either. “Sounds like you’ve been giving it some serious thought, my man.”

“I have,” he confessed, his smile broadening. “Saw a six-bedroom apartment listed on Fifth Avenue. It’s huge, and exactly what we need. Especially if my current kids come and live with us, too.” He looked a little pensive then, mouth down turning, forehead creasing. “I hope that don’t happen. Not ‘cuz I don’t want my kids with me if that’s the best for ‘em, but because it’d mean their mother turned out to be a no-good drunk. No child should have to suffer what you did.”

Suffer she had because of Bertha, cleaning up her puke, fixing the house up, making sure she ate, checking her in the night to ensure she was still breathing. It had been a huge burden upon Emily in her tender years, and of course, she’d revealed all of it to Luca.

“I hope it doesn’t either, for their sake, and Filomena’s.” She certainly had more charity in her heart there than Luca did, who didn’t much give a damn for his ex-wife's welfare, providing it didn’t end up hurting his children. It was nothing short of rapid, just how much he could freeze towards somebody who had tipped his temper. “But back to the apartment. An apartment on Fifth,” she spoke, her eyes widening. “Wow!”

Seeing that excited face truly was what he lived for. “Like the sound of that, huh?”

“Yes!” she squeaked, biting her lip. “But you’re turning me into such a spoiled princess!”

He tightened his arm around her, kissing the top of her head. “You don’t act like one. Plus, you deserve it. Your life was all kinds of hell before you literally fell into mine.” Another kiss was pressed to her head, Luca saying a silent prayer of gratitude to god for sending him the young woman lying in his arms. Simple, uncomplicated, unpretentious and with the kindest heart he’d ever met. “Manhattan will suit ya, too. I get that you’ll probably miss your loud-mouthed buddy, but the plus side is Greta is literally just around the corner. It’s a ten-minute walk from East seventy-third.”

She hadn’t considered that. Indeed, she would miss seeing Maggie with quite the regularity that she did, but having Greta ten minutes away would definitely make up for that. How on earth was this her life? Thankful was simply not the word. As it happened, she had much more to be thankful for, too, awaking the following morning to a Filomena-free house.

“She left in the early hours with the children, sir,” Catherine explained, looking a little fidgety, like Luca might blaze at her for allowing her departure. “Said that we should come back in our own time when the rest of you return.”

Emily couldn’t stop the laughter that came at seeing Greta begin to gently run a circle behind the housekeeper, arms held aloft in triumph. “The beast retreats!” she exclaimed, looking relieved that they’d get to spend their last day there with a modicum of peace restored.

Once they did arrive back in Brooklyn, things very much shifted up a gear, Luca arranging for a viewing of the apartment on Fifth within days of their return, enjoying every second of seeing Emily walking around it with her mouth hanging open.

“I think your wife is quite impressed, Mr. Changretta,” the realtor noted, nodding his head towards a completely spellbound Emily.

He smiled widely, entertained by her cry of “it goes all the way back here!” at opening a door and continuing through on her wide-eyed tour. “Yeah, I think she is, too.” Wife. Hmm. He didn’t bother to correct Mr. Abraham there, but he did make a mental note about doing something to change that. “We’ll take it. Cash okay?”

Yes. It most definitely was.

With the owners very much invested in a quick sale, it was a mere eight weeks until the former Brooklyn residents made their way to Manhattan, a fleet of trucks parking up outside the building, new furniture being brought in, Luca only staying a short while to pay the men before he kissed his beloved goodbye and headed out to attend to business, Angelo, Donny and Enzo waiting for him downstairs in the Rolls.

That left Emily with the very capable help of Greta and Maggie, who thrived in assisting in telling the moving guys just where to put everything.

“Good job the last folks had taste, dolly,” the former chimed, looking all around at the mostly white painted walls. “Ours was vile when we moved. Pistachio green, I tell ya!”

Emily laughed at her gagging, advising the guys to place her desk down by the window in the next room over, which would become her office to get her bookkeeping endeavours done in. “Well, it wasn’t in some rooms, but we had them redecorated prior to us moving. Let me show you our bedroom, it’s gorgeous!”

Her friends followed her through the excitement, heading all the way to the other end of the hall, Maggie remarking they’d get there quicker on roller skates and to perhaps look into it as Emily swung the double doors open. All of the furniture had been brought in prior to their arrival, everything set up apart from the packing cases containing their clothes and shoes. “Ta-da!”

“Emily! Holy shit, this is swanky!” Maggie chimed, her mouth falling open. Swanky, in truth, was putting it mildly, the women viewing it in wonder as they carefully negotiated their way around. Deep red walls contrasted with beige, and panels of wallpaper depicting floral motifs on black. Well, until they looked closer to see that they had actually been painted on.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she sighed, her hand finding the velvet canopy of the four-poster bed, smoothing the tied back burgundy fabric around the huge, ornate bed. “It’s half art deco chic, half vampire lair. We kind of met in the middle there.”

“No prizes for guessing whose half is whose,” Greta chirped, loving the feeling of the sudden contrast of the beige, soft fur rug upon her feet after stepping to it from the dark stained floorboards. “I want to live on this rug! Angelo can up his game, I want this, too!”

“Darling, you talk like your place isn’t just as opulent,” Emily spoke, picturing Greta’s beautiful abode.

“Can one of you gals just go ahead an adopt me?” Maggie then chirped, pointing up to the gold mouldings upon the ceiling with an open mouth. They shared laughter, moving to the other rooms, the boy’s furnished in various shades of blue, and peach for Milania, as per her request. To her father, not Emily.

“So, the kid still hates you, then?” Maggie asked as they headed to the kitchen, ready to unpack the next most important room.

She paused before taking a screwdriver to the case screws, shaking her head. “She’s so heavily under the influence of her mother, still. I exist in her father’s life, ergo I’m the reason why her parents haven’t gotten back together. At least Filomena seems to be keeping her drinking under control, though. That or she’s hiding it better, but Milania has been keeping her dad abreast and apparently, there’s been no day drinking since they got back from the Catskills.”

Maggie reached for her, giving her shoulder a supportive squeeze. “The not bein’ outta her head thing is somethin’ at least, darl. Milania’ll come round eventually, too.”

Emily could only hope, but in the meantime had much more pressing matters to deal with than her boyfriend’s daughter showing her continued contempt. Once her friends had left, she continued with the unpacking, not having much left to do at all. With a chicken and vegetables roasting in the oven, she poured herself a glass of white wine, walking through her beautiful new home to go and look out at the breathtaking view of Central Park from the lounge windows.

“How the hell did I get this lucky?” she pondered, shaking her head as she unclipped the pearls from her ears, giving the slightly aching lobes a little rub.

“Ya fell over in front of the right wiseguy.”

She all but jumped out of her skin. “Oh god, Luca! I didn’t hear you come in!”

He laughed, unfastening his cufflinks and rolling up his sleeves. “Can’t believe you got all of this done in a day, and I smell dinner cooking, too.” He slid his arms around her from behind, moving her hair to kiss the side of her neck. “Should be me askin’ how the hell I got so lucky.”

“I think we should call it a draw.”

He kissed her neck again, the floral bouquet upon her skin making his senses tingle. “Best deal I’ve agreed on all day, doll.”

Well, there was another one that probably topped it, but it could remain in his pocket for that moment.

#luca changretta fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfiction #luca changretta smut #luca changretta fanfic #luca changretta fic #luca changretta x ofc #peaky blinders fanfic #nobody's girl #luca and emily

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ju-ji · 3 months

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This is not the thought I had when I started writing this post but I think, in retrospect, last twilight was never as magical as I once thought, and furthermore I think that the magic was actually jimmy and sea the whole time. I would maintain that the story started off strong and the blossoming romance was extremely well executed, but there were always flaws in the writing and it was always shown that day had a lot of work to do and. well. wasn’t doing it. I don’t think I was picking up on it because sea made day so unbelievably endearing even as a supposed asshole that I either didn’t notice the red flags or ignored them. You have to understand, I was not a jimmy nor sea nor jimmysea fan before I started watching last twilight. I had not already seen vice versa and wai was so long ago that I don’t even remember having an opinion of him. I had never heard of the first show sea was in. I had not been anticipating this show since the pilot trailer and wasn’t even planning to watch it. I didn’t watch it when it came out. I think I waited like two weeks before I started it. I went into it with no feelings about jimmysea, I had seen criticism of jimmy’s previous performances and I didn’t know anything about sea other than him being jimmy’s branded partner so if anything I was… prepared for them to not do all that well. I wasn’t expecting much I guess. This is the first time I put on my clown makeup. Like I said, sea as day was so endearing to me from pretty early on, maybe not ep 1 but by ep 3 I was like that’s my baby!!! I don’t know why or how but he made me fall in love with day so bad, and nothing day did (until… u know….) ever made me love him less. I really can’t describe what about him I found so lovable especially when he was definitely an asshole and wouldn’t stop with the “u have zero tenderness in your body” nonsense lmao. I think sea just has some je ne sais quoi about him or something that’s like captivating. I did watch vice versa at some point while last twilight was airing and I found talay endearing too. Even though he was more mature or like. didn’t have such a spoiled baby quality to him, so I think it’s just something about sea idk. Hell I’m already endeared to his character in the trainee from bts footage and promo pics alone 😭 ok hopefully point made bc this post is already really long and I have a lot more to say lmao.

*I promise I know how to write proper paragraphs I just am trying to type what I wanna say before my brain moves on to a new thought lmao but let me give a line break for readability*

Let me try to talk about jimmy without waxing poetic. I had pretty low expectations for him bc I had seen ppl criticize his work before so how did I end up loving him so bad!!! The answer is he’s just good at what he does!!! Was he always this good? I didn’t have any qualms about his performance as puen and I can’t remember wai. I think he was also a minor character in enchante but I didn’t watch that. Anyway, if he used to suck he doesn’t anymore!! His growth is especially impressive bc acting isn’t even his main profession!!! I don’t want to harp a lot on why last twilight disappointed me bc I want this to be a jimmysea appreciation post first and foremost but the problem with mhok that jimmy obfuscated was he really didn’t have much to him. He had a tragic backstory that was never fully explored but aside from that it was just day on the brain all day every day how can I serve day how can I help day how can I care for day how can I make day smile like girl stand up 😭 jimmy somehow managed to make mhok (to me but I’m biased) the most compelling character in the show with just his eyes!!! His eyes held SO MUCH EMOTION that it made mhok feel like a much more substantial character than he ended up being. Trying to be short and to the point now bc this is getting out of hand but I want jimmy on my screen forever, he is so special to me!!!

Last point: mhok and day did not have en equal or super healthy relationship so why did it hurt sooo bad when they broke up? Again, it was jimmysea magic masking the flaws. The chemistry was undeniable and they seemed so in love! They were always so happy to be together that you almost didn’t notice how one sided their relationship was becoming. Their comfort in each other was so real and believable bc evidently that’s not acting! It’s clear that jimmy and sea enjoy their paired roles and enjoy working together in general. I’m not thinking of anyone in particular but I don’t think all pairs could sell this natural comfort as effortlessly bc they are not…. this naturally comfortable together lmao. Jimmysea’s innate charms are exponentially amplified when they are together. I firmly believe that if jimmy wasn’t mhok and sea wasn’t day then last twilight would not have been this loved (until it got to where not even jimmysea magic could salvage it 😭)

TLDR it was jimmysea magic that masked last twilight’s flaws so well that we were dumbfounded by that ending

#I got really into this and sorta ran out of steam #I started writing a totally different post but ended up rewriting it entirely once I realized the magic of LT was jimmysea all along #and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t 11:00 when I started it…… it’s 12:15 now 😭😭😭#also I see that I was like jimmy and sea are so special bc they’re just special but I’m hoping you get it #I might elaborate on this after sleeping on it idk #jimmysea #last twilight #also I have a bandaid on my thumb and typed this whole post on my phone so this was incredibly frustrating to write :)))))#anyway. they are so important to me!!!!!

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labyrinthofsphinx · 9 days

Text

Statistical Outliers

Part 7 of drabble. I'm calling it. I'm just writing them long now. Also, this one has Valentino and Angel, just as a heads up. Nothing graphic but a warning. Also a little suggestive because, again, Valentino.

“Welcome to the show everybody! Hope everyone’s been having a marvelous week!”

Vox spun in his chair, greeted to the captive audience behind his televisions. The morning show was a fan favorite, always has been. Honestly, he takes a lot of pride in it. It’s just him for the most part, spouting off whatever relevant nonsense there was for the time. He gave a brief recap of what was going on in the world above, something he had to sneak in from sources that actually went up there. If he got a few details wrong, eh, no big deal. It’s not like anyone can fact check him down here anyways. For the newly introduced to Hell, it was a good way to grab their attention. And that only meant more viewers in the long run.

“Coffee’s done.”

The kid ran over into his monitor room, pulling his attention away from his cyber studio for a moment. The smell of warm coffee jumped up to greet him, and he gladly took it off the kid’s hands. Ah, as perfect as last time.

“Still a crap cup of coffee.” He said. The kid didn’t believe him anymore. He just swayed happily in place as Vox kept taking sips.

He kind of wanted to squeeze the ever loving hell of out him. He settled for roughing up the top of his fur.

“Hey, I just fixed that!” He tried to bat back the invading assault, but Vox had much bigger hands and a much longer reach. There was little he could do.

“Yeah? Complain to someone who cares.”

The programs went on, switching from news, to commercials, to the morning sitcoms. He noticed the kid paying attention to his spy drones’ footage, of his fellow hotel mates dragging themselves out to go look for him again. Alastor noticed the camera. He posed for it, the smiley freak. He flicked the footage away, switching it to the camera just outside.

Velvette was there, pacing. She was deciding how she wanted to start this, Vox knew. Was she going to try for the innocent act? Was she going to storm in raging? She had a hundred different faces for her followers, but Vox fell for exactly zero of them.

Delighted, he took another sip of coffee.

“Don’t say a word.” He told the kid.

Bang! Bang!

“Vox! Open the fucking door, now!” Brattish it is then! Wonder how long she’ll keep it up. “And fix the fucking Wi-Fi! It’s been buggy all day!”

“Be there in a moment, Vel!” He lied. “Still running some new security features into the mainframe. The Wi-Fi will probably be a little spotty for a while!”

“Ugh!” She screamed. “Is my toy in there with you? I couldn’t do my morning post without him!”

Vox rolled his eyes playfully. The kid had to cover a laugh with a hand.

“Yeah, he’s here! Not to worry, I’m taking good care of him until your done with all those projects you’ve got!”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Give him back right fucking now! He’s mine! You gave him to me!”

“And I’m just taking him off your hands until you’re less distracted, Vel! If you have more than enough time for pranks, surely you can finish those clothes for Val, draw up plans for the next season, and throw out a few more ads for our products.” Act like a child, don’t be surprised when you’re treated like one.

His sharks have taken a special interest in the kid, and not in the ‘I want to eat it’ way. It was rare that Vox let someone into his space for long. Even Vel and Val were only momentary intruders. Sure, they saw them in the conference room, but they tended to ignore them since nothing fun ever came from the conference room. The kid couldn’t have been more enchanted by his vicious friends. He didn’t touch the acrylic on Vox’s orders, but he was getting as close as he could and ogling.

“Vee, come on! That’s not fair!” She called out, a little more pained this time.

Ah, already switched from ‘Vox’ to ‘Vee’. The Wi-Fi thing must really be bothering her.

“Can’t be helped! Not to worry, the update is almost done.” He lied again.

He gazed out into the sea of his audience. Many of them had those headphones of his, quite a few of them had the eared version. Some odder cases seemed to be trying to make the standard one look like those special editions, but the ears were wrong and didn’t glow right. He noticed though another new fad popping up. Long shirts and oversized hoodies with homemade designs on them, especially running up the arms. In particular, different tread marks seemed to be of interest. Huh. One look at the kid explained that one.

It wasn’t widespread yet, but he could see the pattern before it emerged. Velvette would pick it up in no time, patent it, and let it sell like hotcakes. Well, best let her get started on it then.

“Darling,” Velvette’s voice was much softer this time. He did always like being called ‘darling’. Something about it just rubbed the right way. “please open the door? The prank was just a stupid-”

The doors opened themselves. The kid gave him a look, a joke hiding behind his lips. Vox quietly shushed him.

“My dear, I’m sorry about the wait. You know how absorbed I get into things.” He said, swinging his chair around as she walked up the catwalk. “The update should be done now. Let me know how it works.”

She checked her phone for a second, then brought herself back to look at him.

“You’re not still mad? Right?”

“I wasn’t mad to begin with! Only concerned. Can’t have my best girl stressing herself out and pulling herself too thin. Next time, if you have an issue, just bring it up. You know I’ve got a fix for everything. Especially ways to de-stress.”

With that, he snapped his fingers. His former technician that had been dangling above the shark tank, paralyzed by a complete excess of volts running his system, was unceremoniously dropped. The kid pulled back in silent horror as the man was quickly ripped to pieces. He looked like he was going to hurl. That’s what you get for mistaking his sharks as friendly dogs, he wanted to tease.

Velvette watched with half interest. Then, from the blue, she jumped up and kissed the side of his face. Her black lipstick left an obvious mark, but she didn’t wipe it away. Must be feeling slightly possessive then, he assumed. She pulled him in for a quick pic, being sure to get the kid in the background looking around the room. She didn’t post it though, instead made it her new screensaver.

She was still for just a moment, then she stole his coffee mug and took a sip.

“Ugh, Vee, you have the worst taste in coffee.”

Velvette was the type to go to a coffee store and make the barista regret ever getting up in the morning. If she was at the bar, she was just as bad to the bartender, especially if the drink didn’t look good enough for Voxtagram. His tastes were a lot more simple. Nothing he drank ever made her happy. She still insisted on trying it though, almost every time. Lipstick stains on his mug and his face, she was finally content enough to head out.

“Cutie pie, come on! We’ve got work to do. Val’s whores aren’t going to dress themselves.” She called the kid over with a flick of her finger. He didn’t immediately follow. Instead, a silent exchange happened between him and Vox.

Yeah, go with her. She’s fine.

And he bounded after her.

When the door closed again, Vox took to his chair. Vel’s lipstick added a sweetness to his drink that wasn’t there before. He always liked how it tasted, but maybe next time not in his coffee. Before him, Hell kept turning. The morning news gave way to the TV specials and his reality shows. ‘Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?’ was showcasing a double feature, two sisters and one guy. He’s not sure if they were going to kill each other first or their so-called man.

Whatever the case, he scrolled through some of his other work in the meantime. A few inventors tossed ideas up to him, hoping to gain favor and get their products endorsed by the biggest tech name in Hell. Most of them were scams, and not even well-hidden ones. He put a special tab on these ones and set them aside. He had a special show for those types, one where he, Velvette, and Valentino sit in hotseats, picking apart people’s designs and ideas. Vox already did all the work behind the scenes. He knew which ones were worth the investment. It made for good television whenever all three of them seemed to agree that an idea was great, and it also was just as good when an idea was so bad that they dropped the presenter into the tank below.

It made everyone feel like they had a shot at getting a contract with the big bosses, if you were willing to bet it all.

And, personally, he always loved watching them squirm, even when he knew he wanted the product.

It wasn’t too long later that he decided that he really ought to check on Alastor’s loser squad. Now that the kid was gone and he didn’t have to see the sad eyes, he brought it back up.

He nearly had a heart attack.

Alastor’s malicious sneer was dangerously close to one of his drones, too close for the camera to survive the onslaught of his dark magic. Symbols and green wisps of evil started to strangle the life out of the little machine. Al’s yellow teeth contorted like a snake and goblin shark hybrid.

“Hello, old pal.”

Vox disconnected the drone. He just completely shut it down, dragged the code from the mainframe. If he even tried hacking in, the whole system would fight to push him out, considering it the same as a virus.

Everything is fine, Vox. You’re fine. Deep breaths.

The kid’s still here. He’s fine. He’s with Velvette.

…but just to be safe.

He found him right by Vel’s side, holding a bunch of clothes in his arms as they climbed down the levels in the elevator. See? He’s fine. Nothing bad’s going to-

Wait. Were they going to Val’s studio?

He spat out his coffee. Vel? What were you doing? You can’t take him in there with all those…well, Val’s people.

It got worse. It got so much worse. Because Angel Dust was there early, already on set and already ready to jump into that sultry little dress Vel made for the movie poster.

Oh, no. No, no! Bad! Very bad!

Vel, do something! Get him out of there! Wha-! No! Don’t just walk away! That dime store whore doesn’t not need your attention as much as the kid does right now!

Vel walked off to dress the girls, leaving the kid holding a great big pile of clothes, in the middle of Val’s set. Angel Dust looked like he had the wind dragged from his sails. Even the makeup could only do so much to cover up too many sleepless nights. He dragged his feet and sat down in his studio chair, a sigh ripping from him.

“You know, I really wish on days like these that I wasn’t trying to stay sober.”

Apparently, those big ears weren’t just for show. Despite everyone else in the room, and the smooth music, and the re-wind of Val and his director’s cut of the film, the kid lit up.

“Angel?”

The spider reacted like someone just shot something hard straight to his brain, like he might be concerned he was going crazy. All eight eyes sprung wide as the kid put the clothes down on a nearby loveseat.

“Drift! Oh my God! You’re alive! Holy shit!” He leapt up, arms open wide to grab him.

Panic leapt into his chest. He didn’t know the specifics of Val’s deal. Did it only apply if Vox handed him over? Did it only mean they had to ‘try’ to find the kid? What did he specifically mean about the return policy? There were too many ‘ifs’. Far too many for Vox to let this go any further.

He tore into the wires, moving as fast as possible. Lightning could move almost as fast as light could. Even following the current, Vox made it in more than enough time to rip right out of the nearby camera and directly in between the two of them.

All around, everything buzzed. The lights flickered. His rush left a small wake of rumbling sound, echoing with the acoustics of this place. He kept a smile plastered to his face, but anyone could tell it was more of a threat.

Angel, surprisingly, jumped straight from shock to rage.

“You motherfucker-!”

“Now, now.” Vox started. “Let’s not do or say anything you might regret.”

“Ah, Angelcakes! I see you’ve met our newest little pet project.” Val sauntered over from his director’s chair, stepping up behind Vox. His four arms dipped down. Two of them grabbed the kid by the shoulders, keeping him snugly in place. The other two played with his face, grabbing his muzzle much too hard and forcing him to look up at him. “He’s just adorable. The perfect little plaything.”

The kid was shaking. He couldn’t struggle from Val’s grasp, and he’s not even sure how much he could breath with Val holding his face like that. Worse, how Val had said that. Even to Vox, it sounded wrong.

Which is so weird, because he knew that Valentino had no interest in kids, ever. Not because he was bothered by it or something, but more so because kids weren’t ‘sexy’.

That didn’t change the fact that, that had creeped the fuck out of Vox.

And if it had creeped Vox out, he can only imagine what Angel’s mind jumped to. Soul contract be damned, Angel looked ready to tear Val’s face off.

“If you touched that kid, I swear to god-”

“Val.” Vox interjected. His new speakers drowned out any other sound in the place, including the rest of Angel’s little rant, just in the nick of time. “A word. Alone.”

Valentino was a little too pleased with himself. He put the kid down slowly before directing Angel back to the set. The whisp of smoke formed a chain for a second, tethered to the spider’s neck.

“Sit right there and don’t move. I’ll be back in a minute.”

While Val was doing that, Vox leaned down to the kid quickly.

“You okay?”

“He can’t do that to Angel.” He argued, coughing as he wrung his hands by the harsh lines now imprinted on his neck.

“He can do whatever he wants to Angel. He owns him.”

“That’s not fair-”

“Fair or not, Angel’s an adult. He made his own decision.” Did he really believe that? Sort of, consent was always questionable with addicts. “But if you don’t want to get him or yourself into worse trouble, don’t move. Don’t go to Angel. Just stay right here until I get back.”

It destroyed him on the inside, Vox could see that. All he wanted to do was run over and check on his friend. But, thankfully, it seemed like he trusted Vox’s judgement enough to heed his warning. He stayed still, tail pulling between his legs as the surrounding employees just seemed to notice what was going on.

Vox gestured for Val to follow him to Angel’s dressing room. It was mostly soundproof, for obvious reasons, which made it ideal for what Vox had in mind. Val strolled in, but not before giving one last look between the two hotel mates. It made Angel’s skin crawl again.

“What is it, Vox? Can’t you see I’ve got things handled?”

Handled? That was what he counted as ‘handled’?

He slammed the door shut behind him, shocking Valentino.

“Oh, Val. What do you think you’re doing?”

Reflexively, the moth backed up a bit. His antenna flicked in alarm. Vox could be scary when he was angry. And when he was truly pissed?

“I was…I was…” The words seemed to die on his tongue for a moment. “I was securing an asset. I want Angel back and you’re getting too attached to that brat and-”

“You want Angel back?” His voice warped as he stepped too close to Val, where he had no room left to back up. “Is that really what you want?”

“Um…yes?” He sounded uncertain now.

Vox’s teeth bared too wide to seem friendly.

“No, Val.” He said, his voice coming back down. “You don’t want that.”

“Yes, I-!”

He grabbed his collar, pulling him down to Vox’s height for the time being.

“No, you don’t. You don’t want to force him back like that. You want to prove him right? That the only reason he is here was because he had to be? No. He should want to come back to you.” His harsh grip turned softer, claws combing through and dancing towards the line of his neck. Val gulped.

“You want him on his hands and knees. You want him begging to be back in your arms.” While his one hand teased, and plucked the first button off Valentino’s shirt, his other hand wrapped around. He dug into the flesh of his back, just by the base of his spine. Val squeaked and dragged himself closer.

“But…but the kid-”

He chuckled.

“Were you worried I forgot about you? You?” Vee tower was his plaything. It was all an extension of him. Like an arm, he could twitch the nerves to pull as he pleased. Holographic screens played across the walls. The whole room beamed with light, before flicking to different scenes.

Valentino posing for a shoot. Valentino with blood on his hands and fresh gun smoke in the air. Valentino stretched out across his lounge, counting his money. Valentino laid out on Vox’s sheets, inviting him over with a lick of the lips.

“You’re a star, Val. My star. You think there’s ever a moment I’m not watching you? You think that there’s another soul in this decrepit place as intoxicating as you?”

Valentino eating his chocolates a little too slow. Valentino ruthlessly tearing apart a rival. Valentino dancing around the room in the morning wearing Vox’s robes.

“There’s no one like you, Val. And there’s no one that can take my gaze off you.”

He pulled down, dragging him into a dip. Instinctively, Val’s legs flew up to wrap around Vox. His whole body shuttered with delight as poison dripped hungerly down his face.

“Oh, you’ve ruined me.” Valentino said, almost groaning. Vox knew he’d be thinking about this and only this for the rest of the day. His arms interlocked around Vox’s neck.

“Not yet. Maybe tonight. But I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about me not keeping my eyes on you.” Vox teased.

The way Val was looking at him now, the minute they started making out no other work would be achievable today. And, if Vox had it his way, Val wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards.

“Now, we really have to do something about yours and Angel’s new deal.”

“Oh, screw that. He can come back when he begs for it.”

That’s exactly what Vox wanted to hear.

…

Composing himself to look somewhat professional was harder than he expected. Val had messed up his jacket in his pursuit for purchase on his back. He’d also messed up his bowtie, something he’d unfortunately neglected to notice until after the kid gave him a funny look.

“Angelcakes, back to shooting.” Val directed with a wave of his cigarette.

Angel’s face dropped in panic.

“Val, the deal. What about our deal? You’re supposed to give the kid back!”

“Correction.” Vox interrupted. “The deal was if I found the kid, and I gave him to Val to give to you, then you’d come back to work, fulltime.” He went over the specifics with Val right before walking back in. He was a stickler for wording. “And I don’t feel like handing him over to anyone.”

He walked up behind the kid and, purposefully, put his hands on his shoulders a little tight.

“I think I’ll keep him.”

The spider’s eyes all focused on Vox, fury rising in his throat.

“You think that I’d just let that happen? Oh, Smiles has been wantin’ an excuse to knock your head off. Just wait till I tell ‘em.”

“Nobody is telling anyone, anything.” Val mentioned.

“Oh yeah?” Angel challenge back.

“Oh, yeah.” Val confirmed. “If you try anything, there won’t be a kid left to rescue, Angelcakes.”

The kid was being so well behaved, mouth zipped tight. Angel could assume from what Val said that Vox had his contract, and the kid’s attitude only played into it. Was it worth the risk of the kid getting his soul ripped apart?

Angel’s face fell.

Yeah, didn’t think so.

Then, surprising Vox, the kid ran over and grabbed Angel in a hug.

“It’s okay.” He swore. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

A few tears slipped out Angel’s face, especially when they had to let go. Vox snapped his fingers, and the kid ran to his side again.

“We’re leaving.” He said. If Vel wanted him back, he could pick him up from Vox’s room again. Val blew him a kiss as they walked back into the lift.

When the doors closed, a weight pulled off his shoulders.

“Thank you.” The kid looked up at him, and odd truthfulness to his words that shook something in the core of Vox’s head.

“…for what?”

“For saving my friend. I’m not…it’s not worth the price he’d have to pay.” He pursed his lips. “And he never would’ve let me go unless you made him. So…thank you.”

Despite himself, a grin pressed to his face.

“I didn’t do it for him. Maybe I’m getting used to the annoying buzzing sound of your voice. It’d be a shame to get rid of it now.”

Oh, fuck me. The kid was happy now. Cuteness aggression was a bitch. He kinda felt like squeezing him until he popped.

“I like your voice too.”

He grabbed his muzzle and playfully closed it.

“Shut up, kid.”

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin hotel fic #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel the vees #the vees #drabble

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marcholasmoth · 3 months

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OSRR: 3461

today was quiet. i talked to leo early on but i was laughing so hard that meredith sent him a message "molly is laughing too hard. go to sleep." it was so funny omg

anyway it was pretty quiet. i like getting to hang out with meredith. she's delightful.

at the end of the day, i ended up staying for another hour and a half to sit and talk to and hang out with jey and leo because i don't get to see them much. it was a great decision. i got to see leo's cats, we all talked about a bunch of things, and i laughed a LOT and im very happy.

when i left, i drove down the road and ended up at a red light. my windows were down because it was nice out (to me), and the car next to me had music playing, so i was nodding and moving along to the music. and then the lady in the passenger seat of the other car says to me, "you can do the macarena to anything, it works! try it!" she was doing the macarena to a song that should not have the macarena done to it. i laughed because that was the LAST thing i expected to hear today 😂 so i said i would and i laughed down the road when the light turned green. and at the NEXT red light, i was a few cars back from the front of the line, and that SUV would be the first in that line, but they slowed down next to me and the lady was dancing more! it was SO FUNNY because she (1) stopped to say something, (2) said something, (3) danced while saying it, and (4) stopped AGAIN to show me that she was dancing! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

literally i laughed halfway down the bridge.

and joel's out for now, and i realize how often he comes home really late. i would like to cuddle with him one of these evenings.

a couple other things, but they're trauma-based.

tw religion, religious trauma, personal trauma, mental and emotional manipulation and abuse

tldr i remembered some ~church~ and "friend" shit that made me angry for my past self and my current self.

as i was driving in cambridge yesterday, i found the mormon church in the area. it's on the road i take to get back to the main thoroughfare to get back to the bridge to get back to the highway. it's right there. i could've lived without finding it. but today as i came up to it i cursed it out and all the people and establishments that fucked me over for so long. i thought about all of the mental gymnastics and hoops i had to jump through to stay and to believe it all.

and then as i was on the highway coming back home, i thought of another experience that i have zero qualms with talking about.

once upon a time, i had a friend at church named lisa. she was funny and smart and no-nonsense and was bisexual, so we understood the lgbt. she also had an account on here and freaked out when she learned that i was in charge of the account. it was nice.

for a while.

lisa and aaron and tyler, the three friends ("friends") i had in that group i had told before that when they hang out if they want to include me that i needed an explicit invitation. i told all of them that. they refused to respect it. but i ignored it.

i texted the group the most, i think. i always texted first. i ignored that, too.

and then one evening when the gathered young adults were playing a game for family home evening, the teams got into an argument and were shouting and yelling really loudly at each other. i didn't want to play but i got up, threw my hands in the air, and yelled as a response, "okay! i'll go next!" just to appease everyone. and i went into the hallway and proceeded to have a panic attack.

while i'm in the middle of breaking down, lisa and tyler and aaron come out to "check on me," which im sure was their intent, but it didn't come across that way.

lisa asked me what was wrong and i said i didn't know. she then said something to the effect of, "this is why we walk on eggshells around you, why we can't talk to you, because we don't know what will set you off since you won't tell us."

it was the meanest thing i can remember her saying to me.

(this was SEVERAL years ago.)

i was just beginning to work through my trauma, much of which stems from constant arguments and screaming matches between my parents throughout my entire childhood.

i didn't know that listening to people yell like that was going to set me off.

if someone is having a panic attack, you don't go up to them during it and say "we can't talk to you because you don't tell us your triggers."

how am i supposed to tell you what's going to set me off when even i don't know what's going to set me off??

it's not okay to blame someone for your actions because they don't know something. it's less okay to do that in the middle of a panic attack. it's even less okay to disguise it as care.

i left that night in tears. i felt terrible. i was exhausted from the attack. but that was the first time i started to think about the mental gymnastics i was doing. i didn't ignore it.

i realized that i always texted first. so i stopped texting first.

i didn't get any more texts.

i stopped offering to do things.

i stopped getting asked to do things, eventually.

and the three of them have been blocked since.

tyler came to visit once, which was nice of him. my only ire towards him is that he went along with lisa's narcissistic tendencies and didn't speak up when she was out of line. narcissistic tendencies don't look good on you.

aaron had been my friend for a long time. not anymore. he didn't stand up for me. he didn't reach out or call or text or try to contact any other way. too mormon for his own good. it's obnoxious. and he's a narcissist, too.

and lisa? i hope she stubs her toe and steps on a sliver of glass. that someone she loves and trusts does something so incomprehensibly unfair and unkind that she knows and feels what it's like to lose an entire group of friends. you don't fucking blame someone for not knowing triggers when they just fucking find out about them. for someone who was getting a phd in criminal justice, you really lacked the empathy and understanding to be a good friend. you fucked that up and you treated me so terribly. and for what? because you and the other two stooges who also were narcissists needed someone to take advantage of?

fuck you.

get fucking bent.

#i'm angry #tw religion #tw religious trauma #molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3400s #sunshine boy

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