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First Love/Late Spring

call summary ⋆ ★ Kang Taehyun was your first love. And you're slowly coming to a realization that he may also become your first heartbreak.

pairing *. * Kang Taehyun x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Angst, Fluff

warnings *. Underage Drinking/Smoking, Crude Language, bad grammar because I was lazy to properly check it

call duration⋆ ★ 10.3k...

a/n*. * lmao guess who got the flu and the stomach bug at the same time. I love my life. but this one is a little more fluffier and may have gone a little bit overboard with it...oops but that's alr

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet//@oreoqueen // @woncheecks//@probably-too-obssessed// @matcha-binz

The Mitski Diaries Masterlist

You used to watch the night sky and the morning sunrise through your open window, wishing for something new. The birds chirped at your woes and the crickets stayed quiet for your tears, for the love in your heart couldn’t be contained in its chamber. You prayed and prayed to the ones above for someone to love.

A person to cherish in this small town of yours, a boy who could handle the sticky smell of fish that your family harvested by the seashore, who could adore every one of your insecurities and turn them into something more.

And in return for the cries that were wasted to mother earth herself, she whispered to fate to gift you with Kang Taehyun; your best friend turned boyfriend.

You’ve known Kang Taehyun for your whole life, quite literally because he was born in the room right next to yours, both crying out just intervals apart...or that’s how your moms explained it. You were a cranky child, and he was quiet, but then the roles switched as you both grew older and suddenly you were the meek one while he chattered with anyone and everyone.

That’s why you suppose at the ripe age of ten, you believed that he wouldn’t like you, not when other gorgeous girls were chasing his heart. More confident ones that stood their ground and weren’t cowardly in actions and thoughts. Opposites of yours in nature, perhaps were his types, you would often think about.

But he had proven you wrong in fourth grade at the Valentine’s Day dance, he had gotten on stage during the talent show section, sung his heart out, and then proposed that he liked you into the mic. He then proceeded to jump off from the not-too-tall platform and handed you red roses that were behind his back.

It was safe to say that you shyly accepted the flowers with a bright grin on your face, pulling him into a tight tug that caused a chain reaction of hoots from students around you.

The black hole Of the Window Where you sleep

You’ve been dating Kang Taehyun for eight years, close to nine, and though you haven’t noticed it until now, you’re slowly being sucked into a hole of anguish that you’re not sure you can handle. For as long as you can remember, he’d always been ambitious, too passionate about the outside world. This town you two were born in, has locked him in chains.

Held him back from chasing his dreams that you were guilty of thinking were unnecessary and stupid. Not that you would ever tell him that–of course not. But who could blame you, when all you wanted to do was to stay in the comfort of the ocean waves? You desired to stay, and he wished to go.

But that you would have many more years to think upon that, no? Maybe you could change his mind?

You’ve been staring at Taehyun’s house for a while, hair slowly swaying against the wind that blows by; cooling down your burning skin. You look at it from different angles, observing every tiny detail, every flaw that you could find in the dead of night.

The moon provided a sense of light that was strong and mighty. For years on, you’ve put away the terrifying thought of growing up, where he had to ultimately leave you for his own good. You wouldn’t believe it at first, so you tucked it behind a string of memories, but now it had slowly resurfaced as reality had set its unbreakable path for him. And you’re forced to come to terms with it.

How had time flown so much already?

Closing your eyes, your lips tremble as you sink your back against the tiles of your roof. Stars glittered the space above, watching curiously as a young woman tossed and turned. The same stars that have watched you and Taehyun tumble into the overgrown grass below, hide in bushes to scare the neighborhood kids, and kiss softly near the shimmery sea. You suppose that they would miss him too.

After all, you have only a few more months until graduation.

You and Taehyun had decided to skip school today and run towards the kids' playground, down by a passing of trees that wind up into a swing set and into a large play set that had a multitude of slides and ladders. Your uniform had been ruffled in its attempt to be free from your skirt, your socks were at different lengths, and your hair was a mess, but Taehyun thought that you were the most gorgeous woman alive. He couldn’t get enough of you he thinks, as you’re in arms, stupidly in love with him, with both of your bodies crammed in a tunnel.

He likes to think that time and space has stopped when it’s you and him together, just to make him feel better but taking one look outside, he knows that could never happen as much as he wished on a shooting star. Your parents were going to be worried soon, maybe you two should–

“Tyunnie, we should go before I sleep on you,” You yawn, rubbing your eyes as you try to peel off him, but it was hard at the way that he pressed into you with his nose at your nape. “I would just carry you, if you did actually fall asleep,” He chuckles, placing a kiss on your forehead, before helping you crawl out of the tunnel.

“Nuh uh. You would’ve left me to rot and get eaten by the wolves!”

Taehyun sighs, “You’ve been spending too much time with Ryujin lately. She’s corrupted you, sweetheart.” He goes to clasp your hand with his, and suddenly your heart aches. You trace the pathways with your eyes, relishing the bittersweet moment that wraps around your throat holding you tight.

“No, she hasn’t.” You grasp his hand tighter, afraid that he’s going to disappear, hiding in the silence of your words.

Looking at you, Taehyun notices that you’ve been too quiet, and it hurts him at the way that you look crestfallen, with your stunning lips always downturned. He knows why. But he still asks for your answer, in hopes that you will still talk to him.

“What’s wrong? You usually would’ve talked my head off by now.” He softly jokes, brushing your hair out your face, carefully watching you contort your smile into something near plastic. “Nothing much. I–” You struggle with the way that your tongue ties in your mouth, but Taehyun was the beating of your heart, so he understands the way that your fingers shake against him.

The night breeze Carries

“I...I want peaches.” Your head shoots up at Taehyun, smiling as his eyes recognize the sweet smell that perfumes the area. “Fucking hell...” He grins, pressing his lips to your hands. “Peach trees!” You tug at his arms, as you both run in a whole other direction that your homes were but being a few minutes late to supper wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Trees that held peaches were your favorite trees. Pies that were made with peaches were your favorite pies. Wine that was fermented from peaches was your favorite beverage. Taehyun’s lips coated in the sweet peach nectar, were how you liked to kiss him best.

You loved peaches, he loved peaches. One night he had proposed that he had a dream with you that you two had owned a peach farm. You two were dressed quite funnily, with big straw hats that carried a family of mice, but it was cute. Oh, and Hobak was there too.

Your smile diminishes at the thought, but you won’t let it ruin your mood, not when you still must make more happy memories with Taehyun by your side. “It smells so good!” You whine, trying to gasp for breath that you left behind while on your hunt for the fruit. “Gosh, what am I going to do with you?” He laughs, which funnily disappears into an echo when he tries to reach for the fruit, but grazes with it when he jumps.

You snort at the way that his eyebrows furrow, putting up your hands when he tries to send you an intimidating look. “Get out of the way loser, let the pro do her work!” He rolls his eyes as you try to climb the tree itself, but he’s right behind you making sure you don’t fall off. When you get on onto a shaky branch, his hold on your hips makes you dizzy and dopey but you don’t let up on your mission for the fruit.

Grabbing the nearest one without straining yourself, you hand it to Taehyun who stores it in his pockets. And then you give another one, and then another, and then another, before both of your boyfriend’s pockets and your hands are full.

Turning your head, your eyes flicker to the ground and then you congratulate yourself for pondering a good idea. “Hey Tae, throw your blazer on the ground!” His lips twist but he doesn’t complain, putting his blazer on top of the soft grass just as you asked him to. Crouching against the tree, you gently throw the peaches onto the piece of clothing before you lift your body again, this time holding a mischievous glint in your eyes.

“Catch me, baby!” You squeal, and Taehyun predicts it as he steps forward and swooshes you from the sky, barely even grunting when you land in his arms. He’s gotten used to the weight of your body against him, and it makes him fuzzy when you land a kiss on his nose when he curls his biceps.

“Hate you.”

“Sure, you do.” You gingerly say, looking into his eyes. You seem to be searching for something under the expanse of his iris, but when you don’t find anything, you wrap your hands around his neck, swallowing deeply at his penetrating gaze.

“You better eat a lot of peaches in the states.”

He scoffs, “We don’t even know if I got in or not yet.” You nod and grab the fruit from his trousers, feeding yourself with it. “You definitely did. My gut tells me it and whenever have I ever been wrong?” You know that even if he doesn’t get the letter through the mail, he’s going to leave anyway. You think that’s worse.

“Or that’s your stomach growling, idiot.” He flicks your forehead before he too takes a bite out from the peach in your hand, juices rolling down your hand. It’s sticky but feels nice on your skin.

“You’re not very nice, are you?” You stick your tongue at him but take his lips softly underneath the soft leaves of the peach tree. You two soon engrave the initials of your love in the bark, admiring the tan hiding below the dark brown of the wood.

Something sweet A peach tree

Wild women don't get the blues

You don’t think you’ve ever found Rei Yujin’s and Park Sungho’s teasing this annoying before. It was a stuffy spring day that forced the school to finally turn on their ACs for the sake of not overheating. It was finally break time, and a popsicle was in hand as well in the hold of the other younger two after they had begged you to buy them some. But you were on the verge of shoving the sweet treat up their noses if they didn’t zip their mouths shut soon.

“I heard that Taehyun is leaving soon?” Yujin slightly tugs at your hair as you pull out a book to read to ignore them, a great grin on her face as she nudges her friend. “Oh yeah me too! You’re finally going to be single soon (Y/n)!”

Ouch.

“What’s it with you two if he’s actually leaving? It doesn’t concern you guys at all.”

“No, I guess not...” The girl trails off, leaning back in her chair. You wish that they would leave you alone, though you know that they were just teasing you. But it still hurt. A lot. Fingers tracing the pages of the book, you flip each one without even scanning a word or two; you’re immersed in your own brain as of now.

“Oh Yujin, what if he finds a hot sexy girl? You know the one that we find on TV; Kate Winslet style with her rich, red hair and her beautiful skin and her–”

“Tits? You fucking pervert!” Yujin smacks his head and they're both giggling at each other, while you stopped listening to their words the moment, they mention Taehyun finding another woman. Your feet tap against the ground with an anxious tremor that you wish to stop. You haven’t cried in so long with others around; no, you’re not a crybaby. You’re strong and you deserve to sneak in some soju from your parent’s shed.

“You know what would be funny though. Taehyun forgetting her.” Sungho nods along with her, his head in his palms as he watches your back quiver, you’re finally catching onto their jokes, and you just don’t want to admit it!

But I find that Lately I've been crying like a Tall child

“That would! It would make a great show. Girl and boy who dearly love each other, but he leaves and finds another–shit that rhymed! "He rejoices and turns to you to make sure you’ve heard him. “Hey (Y/n) did you hear that? I rhymed. I fuck–(Y/n)?” Drops slowly splatter onto your book, marking the pages with your heartbreak.

You start to sob with flushed cheeks, unable to hold back. You’re busted up in all the ways possible as if their mere quips were stones that bruised your insides. You don’t know what you would ever do if Taehyun had forgotten you, not when you think of your life, you think of him.

The two kids start to panic at your outburst and start to shoo the other kids (it was just a poor boy, who was playing Mario on his switch) away to save your face. You feel ashamed and pitiful as Yujin tries to dry your tears and sends Sungho away to call your boyfriend, which you desperately try to croak out not to, but they can’t hear you through your blubber of tears. You feel like a kid again, like your joints were aching as they grew shorter and shorter, teeth painfully being replaced with their baby ones.

You’re (Y/n) (L/n) and eighteen years old, simultaneously portraying as a five-year-old crying in grief. In sadness of a wounding change that could alter your life forever.

“We’re so sorry (Y/n). We–we didn’t know, well–” She stumbles before she’s interrupted by the door opening, revealing one worried boyfriend and your...peer that looks like a sheet of paper. “Please leave,” Taehyun demands, and the poor kids squeak at the way that his eyes narrow, running past him in guilt and fear.

Slow steps that hold heaviness that weighed in his heart make your stomach churn as tender hands come to cup your cheek.

“Sweetheart...” He tries, but you move away from his touch, and it breaks him a little. Taehyun grabs your fingers and presses them to his lips and then to his chest, soaking in the way that you cry even harder at the gesture. He’s seen you cry a plentiful of times, but it’s more intimate this time the way that the pain seeps through his veins, slowly suffocating him alive.

He then realizes that he never wants to see you cry. Taehyun starts to sob alongside you, quiet tears leaking from his eyes,

“Do you know how to make a scrapbook?” He starts off slowly, mouth shaking when he feels your fingers wipe away the tears that cascade beautifully down his cheeks. You nod at his question and release a shaky breath to let him continue. “I want to mark our moments together, on pages. Happily, together.” He stares sadly at you, which makes you giggle at the way that his eyes represent boba pearls.

“Did I say something wrong?” He cocks his head, and you say nothing but smile, whispering quietly that all you needed was a good cry session. Taehyun opens his mouth to say something, but the shrill ring of the bell stops him midway. Swiftly wiping your tears and his, he leans in closer by your ear.

“I love you.”

And then he leaves you to be as your classmates come pouring in, aware of the miserable gaze that follows him out.

You don’t know if you can do this anymore. A knife runs deeper into your flesh, each day as you look at the calendar, counting the days off to your heart’s demise. You don’t know why it hurts so much, watching him leave.

But you suppose you’ll love him forever, no? But maybe it hurts to think that he won’t love you but pondering about it longer, it would probably be worse if he still did for the reason, that you won’t be there to experience his heart for a while. A while too long for you to handle. But for Taehyun you’ll do anything for him to be happy.

And so that night, you let him sneak into your room, one hand over your eyes and the other over your shoulders, assisting you over the tree branches. “I don’t understand why you have to cover my eyes,” You pout and he just chuckles, slightly grunting trying to get past a thick branch without tripping.

“Because I want it to be a surprise–come on sweetheart, lift your legs for me for a second.” Your cheeks burn as you do what he says, squeaking when your flip-flops hit the ground.

“If you kill me then I swear I’ll haunt you forever.”

Taehyun snorts before he tightly grabs your hand, pulling you along away from your driveway. “You won’t die...if you hold onto me tight enough.” Your eyebrows furrow at his words, feet dragging against the gravel wondering what he was planning. He was quite unpredictable; you could never guess what he would do.

“What do you mean–holy fuck is that a motorcycle!?”

His hands leave your eyes and reveal a shiny black motorcycle, polished in its glory. Two matching helmets hung from the handlebars, still as they put on a show for you two; it looked absolutely ethereal.

“Where did you get that?” You murmur, stalking forward to swipe your finger against the cool, metal, smiling when Taehyun kisses your cheek before getting on the seat. “Asked old Mr. Hwang for it, and after bribing him with money, I was able to get my hands on this!”

He then gently pulls you behind him and tucks your arms around his fit waist, handing you one of the helmets to put on. “I know how much you wanted this, baby. Go on a ride with me through the dark?”

Butterflies flutter through your stomach with great ferocity, their wings graze your throat. You think you’re going insane at the way that he squeezes your arms, looking at you for an answer. And who are you to deny him?

“Of course. I would love to.” You sweetly twinkle, clicking in the straps of your helmet and reaching your arms forward to do the same with your boyfriend...before you realize something. “Wait Tae, do you even know how to drive this!?”

“Er not really. But I’ll figure it out on the way.” He says with a little too much confidence that it partly scares you, to only receive a heart attack when the engine awakens to life. “Oh god, please don’t let us die!” Throwing your body closer, you close your eyes against his back, mouth pressed together when the wheels start moving.

“Stop being so dramatic. And I promise nothing will happen to you or to me!”

His words bring you little comfort that quickly leaves your soul, the minute that he bends forward, speeding up the vehicle, forcing tears into your eyes from the intense wind that flies by. “Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit!” You cry, hugging him tighter against you, when the bike trembles a little.

“Open your eyes!” He looks back for a second before your hands slap his helmet forward, roughly patting his back when he finds it funny at the way you worry. But honestly, when you told him that you wished to go on a motorcycle ride with him, dead at night, you were particularly sure that you did not want to die while you were at it.

“(Y/n)!” Taehyun whines, making you grumble against him, but you still lift your face from his back and open your eyes just as he says.

“Woah...” The passing sea, just where it got too deep for anyone to visit was glowing green, almost as if some kid had decided to color the deep blue with a green glow stick. Just a few meters away from the coast stood tall trees that illuminated the green. “So pretty–you better not say anything cheesy!” You point towards the side mirrors, having fun at the way that he shakes his head and says, “You got me there.”

You don’t exactly think about where he was taking you to, nor did you really care. But how could you? With Taehyun by your side for the moment, everything feels right, like the earth has finally found its missing puzzle piece that’s been missing for a gazillion of billions of years.

But the place that he drives you to is something that jolts your heart, turning your gaze to his curious expression that expresses something shy of sheepishness; his own look that was only reserved for you to read like a map.

A large billboard stands tall and high, and painted in white letters on either side of the board read, “Welcome to Moaville” and the other “Goodbye, hope you’ll visit us soon again.” Taehyun cuts off the bike and helps you off before he takes the helmet from your hand, which you weakly drop.

“Why are we here?” You ask, but you immediately know why, when he pulls out a small picture-sized book with empty pages and a small polaroid that were both hidden in a satchel that were both masked from sight. You take the camera from his hands, and bring it up to look through the lenses, smiling when you find Taehyun already looking at you.

“Take a picture of me?” He poses, looking a little goofy but endearing, so you nod (you were already planning to anyways) and click the button on top, creating a blinding flash. Almost immediately the film starts to slowly make its way to the top which you pull out and shake.

“Did you make me look good?” He asks, walking to your side to look at the emerging photo. “You always look good,” You whisper, sighing when you were right; he looked almost ghostly in the picture but still handsome as ever.

Fingers placed on your chin; he pulls your face towards him. “You make me feel good.” He rasps and pulls you to sit down on the side where it says goodbye. Taehyun was someone you had to study through the lines, he was subtle in the way that he hinted at his true feelings, so you started to have a knack for observing when it came to him.

Ogling at the board, you imagine that if he had left you now, the sense of surprise would’ve bandaged the wound for now.

You envision him saying ‘goodbye’ and walking into the night, leaving you alone. But what pains more is the ‘I love you’ he cries to you.

You decide that when the day comes, you’re going to shut him off with a kiss because his words break the fragile bones that you hold, the ones that could puncture your heart from the way that it feels like it’s going to explode. Especially when Taehyun himself has gone glazy-eyed staring into the distance.

So please hurry leave me I can't breathe Please don't say you love me 胸がはち切れそうで

“We should start,” You say, taking the bag from beside him and dumping everything out, shocked to see the numerous pictures that slide out. “Where did you get all of these from?” You question, softly counting to yourself.

“I have my ways.”

“Creepy” You laugh, before you abruptly stop, stomach turning in at itself as you pick up a photograph of you and him; a seemingly innocent one, but it held many memories that you hold dear to your heart. “You still have this...” You lean on his shoulder, fingers looping around him while you hold the picture–or rather a newspaper clipping in front of you two.

“I saved it for memories...(Y/n) I have something to tell you.”

Eyes darting towards him, you feel a sense of dread start to eat you slowly up from your feet at the way that they go numb. “Sure. Go ahead.” Perhaps he didn’t expect your consent soon enough or he was lost in his own brain once again, but his ears turned red.

“My dad booked the tickets, I’m leaving next month, exactly on this date.”

You don’t say anything.

“But if my admission letter comes in, then I’ll probably have more time here with you.” He reasons, but he doesn’t sound hopeful, not when you refuse to look at him, but instead stare intently at the tiny faces peering back at you two, hair strewn across your faces, clothes wet. Not much older than ten or eleven.

After hearing the unbearable silence, you choose to comment. “We look so young.”

He softly rumbles, “We do, don’t we.”

“We should go back.” You close your eyes against the metal poles that cut into your head,

“Yeah. Just for a moment.”

“Come on (Y/n)! Don’t be a wuss!”

“I’m not a wuss!” You yell, but you don’t feel so confident in yourself, waves of anxiety rolling through your veins as the water below turns into a whirlpool of dizziness, closing in on itself. The sun burns through your skin and the jagged rocks underneath your bare feet makes you reel with discomfort.

You weren’t meant to discover this spot, nor were children even allowed near it, but a group of friends you desperately wanted to fit in with had cut through the thick woods and found this beauty of a sight.

And so, they were making you jump off the ledge of a very steep cliff, that for sure held fatal boulders that would for sure, rip you in half the moment that you made contact with them. Not that they carried though–the group at least. They whooped and whistled at each passing step you took, mocking the way that you shivered, contradicting the very hot summer heat.

“Guys I don’t think this is a very good idea.” A small voice cuts through the tension as one of the girls, Wonyoung, steps up before she’s shot down with menacing glares. “Do you want to go up with her too?”

It’s sick at the way that the group coos at her, but they don’t have to do much to intimidate her because with a shake of her head, she backs away and gives you a sympathetic smile. You huff softly as you kick at the ground, you should really learn how to stand up for yourself.

“What are you waiting for? Jump!” You’ve dazed too long into space to notice how much closer they’ve gotten to you, too close for you to turn back. “I’m not goi–”

Everyone freezes at the sounds of laughter that echo from the trees, breath stilling in their throats, and you take it as a chance to take a few steps away from the edge, but you’re quickly stopped when one of them harshly grabs your arm, twisting it. “You like Taehyun, don’t you?”

Taehyun? Looking back at the group of kids that also stumble around at the crumbling ground below them, one voice sticks out to you out of the five boys that made their appearance.

Black hair that flopped around and glasses that were pulled down to the very tip of his nose, without no doubt that was Taehyun and his friends. He wasn’t the first one to be aware of you yet–first, it was Beomgyu who waved at you excitedly, which set out a ripple effect.

Greeting them back nervously, your feet slide as the girl grins back at you again, a vicious smile that seemed to pierce.

“You're going to jump, or I’ll make Taehyun take your place instead.” You were bewildered at the way that she said it so assuredly. “No, he won’t. He’s not stupid.” You snort, trying to push her away.

“You don’t know that? One of the boys could accidentally push him in. In fact, isn’t Mark friends with him? Aw is poor (Y/n) going to let her friend take the fall for her.”

You shake your head as tears spring into your eyes, and she finally lets you go so you can spin around and face the sky itself before it dips down into the deep blue.

Your limbs are like jelly, and you almost pass out, but you still hold your ground. By now the group behind, softly chants its words of encouragement and your toes are just over the cliff, but you can’t let Taehyun jump in, he could barely even swim, nevertheless seeing him on the rocks below would just be horrible!

“You’re almost there (Y/n).” She gives you a little nudge, chuckling at the way you try to grasp onto the air for support for the one last time.

Though she’s right, you’re right there...and so you tuck your head and close your eyes, so you won’t see your blood once they contacted with whatever had in store for you.

And you jump.

One word from you and I would Jump off of this Ledge I'm on Baby

“What was that?” Huening Kai asks, perking up at the loud splash that the others definitely had heard too, from the way that their eyes curiously scan the area. “I don’t know–did someone fall in?” Soobin gasps, getting up and watching the group of kids, huddle around near the tip of a rock face, dangerously close with camera out.

“Should we go? Isn’t (Y/n) there?” Taehyun swerves his head up and nods, dragging the rest of the group to march with him as he searches for your features among the sea of people, just along the steep hill, that looked as if any more weight was to be added, then it would break off right under their feet.

But when he doesn’t find you, his nerves electrify, and his hands without even knowing tug one of the members (Beomgyu) by their sleeve, footsteps heavy.

“Where’s (Y/n)?” He says, loudly, pushing past people to get to the very edge where a girl stands, obnoxious sounds of pictures going off, which forces him to gently tug her backward, asking with a nervous fervor where you were.

And when her eyes go blank and looks over to the side, he knows what had happened. “What the hell is wrong with you? Soobin call the ambulance!” Yeonjun who comprehends the gravity of the situation, responds quicker and already has 119 pulled up on his phone, eyes widened while the others join him, providing needed answers.

At the word of the police dropping by, the group disperses quickly, but Taehyun doesn’t let the girl go, pushing her towards one of his friends in the hopes that they wouldn’t let her slip out of their arms.

His hands ruffle through his hair, try to think logically but when he doesn’t see any sign of you, all of his rational reasoning gets thrown out of the window. So, he leaps.

Taehyun didn’t have the chance to hear his friend’s muffled words, but he could guess what they were saying, by the way that they screamed at him. The cold water overloads his senses, driving him out of control as the sharp edges of rock cut at his skin, drawing unknown amounts of blood.

His legs are stiff as he tries to reach back up for the surface, fingers barely even disturbing the top before they drop back to his side. Where were you? Opening his eyes, trying not to pass out from the intense stinging, he finds nothing but pure darkness with a few pieces of algae floating around.

His brain is muddled, and he can’t swim upwards, or even kick when his limbs have suddenly gained at least more than his weight, dragging him down. His nose scrunches at the lack of oxygen, hands slowly starting to stop flailing. Taehyun was starting to get tired...

Only for the sunlight to burn his eyes, the blue sky just overhead instead of the water bubbles that escaped his mouth. He chokes ferociously, but the warm pair of hands wrapped around him keeps his body grounded.

“Are you crazy?”

Taehyun softly smiles at the words, now able to tread water but you still don’t let go of his shoulders, wet hair sticking to your face making you look slightly crazed, but you still look stunning in his eyes. “You’re okay,” He weakly groans, when his wounds on his legs blaze with fire.

“Of course, I’m okay! Are you okay? Jesus! Why would you do that?” He shrugs and observes the large cut across your cheek, raw and red with a layer of skin peeking underneath. Taehyun’s fingers slowly move to your cheeks, heart full at the way that you don’t flinch against his salty touch, staring at him intently.

“I’m okay...the boys are calling the ambulance, and if they ask, say that she pushed you in.” He doesn’t leave any room for comments, pulling you close against him. You breathe heavily at his affection, a big smile that sent sparks through your spine.

“And do you remember when the police came in and they like started had to tackle down Yeji because she tried to run away from them!” You laugh, clutching your stomach, beach chairs pulled up at the edge of a very ‘homely’ cliff.

“I do! And then we still got grounded like forever, even though we didn’t even do anything.” You wince, you remember how bad the isolation was, stuck in your room only able to use made-sign language to talk to him through your bedroom window.

The chair beside you, groans as Taehyun pulls himself off from it, stretching as the early sun wisps around his body, eyes fluttering close against the fresh air. You watch him from behind, smile growing at how captivating he was, with the golden rays showcasing him like an angel. Turning around to face you, he holds out your arm to take and you giggle at the way that he pulls you into his chest. He’s warm.

Feet bare without any shoes, you both track your way to the edge once again, feeling deja vu at the way that your heart starts racing, but you’re not sure if it’s because of how ethereal Taehyun looks next to you or...the rushing water below.

You’ve both grown, so there wasn’t really a chance of drowning as your feet both grazed against the sandy floor, just enough to have your head bobbing over the surface, and rocks below were excavated away after your incident, but you tiedy to immerse yourself in the feelings of first love–with him by your side.

You both now look at the water below and agree to swim back to the sand shore, where you get a hit of nostalgia after you two were rescued, your town’s news reporters stand there with bated breaths and Taehyun has to roughly push past them as he covered you in his wet shirt. Looking at him, you already find him staring at him with gentle eyes that hold so much emotion you feel like you were already tangled sunk deep in the warm sea.

Jerking your head away so he couldn’t see your red blush, you sigh and decide to tell him something you haven’t told him before–though you know he’s suspected it before. “I jumped in because Yeji kept telling me that she would push you instead, so imagine my surprise, when I see you in the water with me.” You pause to catch his lips. “I would do anything for you.”

He grins, and grips your hips, nuzzling into your head and gosh he really reminded you of his cat. “I know you would...me too. I would do anything for you too.”

Your head spins at his words and you pretend that both of you could actually do everything and anything for each other. You wish that he could tell you not to come with him, willingly so you could heed his wishes with a tail tucked behind your back. That you wouldn’t have to feel so much sorrow because you didn’t want to leave and explore the world.

Tell me "don't" So I can Crawl back in

Taehyun clutches your hand tightly.

And you both jump.

You don’t actually smoke a cig as much as you used to. Cigarette sales for you were during freshman and sophomore years of high school when you would hide underneath the school bleachers, perhaps it was stress, or maybe because all the older high schoolers found themselves with you and Taehyun rather than in their own classroom because they claimed that you two were rather cooler than the other freshies.

And a group activity turned into two, because the others would have graduated a year later, you two had found comfort in heavy soju that sent you into a spiral.

But it was never too much that you had let your grades drop, no Taehyun would ever allow that. So, it wasn’t too bad and you two had limited yourself more and more as you both got older, only a few smokes every few months until you completely stopped.

You’ve never liked the smell that it left or the smoky haze, but it still felt nice to feel a little more grown-up, just a bit cooler than you literally were. You wish you were young again though.

And I was so young When I behaved Twenty five

You’re both under the science hallway stairs this time because the bleachers were closely monitored after someone was caught making out, but if you close your eyes, you can feel the tense atmosphere of the whines of your school’s ever losing football team.

Taehyun has his phone out, trying to blink through the reeking vapor. You're both trying to calculate how many days he has until he must leave, how many more opportunities you both have to recreate as many old photos as you both can to put in the scrapbook.

You two have already dressed in tight clothing and have posed shamelessly, climbed to the top of the town’s playground, screaming at the top of your lungs, redoing his first proposal to you, except this time during prom, where he stole the mic again and much more which included Soobin taking a picture of you two dripping wet from last’s adventure–which was a while ago.

Finals had come up, and you two were stuck studying until you passed out.

You and Taehyun passed with flying colors–thank god.

“We have fifteen more days” You croak, finger sliding against his screen. That was a day over two weeks and grad was just in another seven days. “You’re right, time’s been flying fast.” You nod, “Way too fast.”

“We should figure out a way to stop time. Or maybe a time machine.” He says, pulling out his camera. You both get in position, just as in the old picture near your Converse, mouths tugged in the same way, both looking at each other raising finger guns near your faces.

This photograph was probably your favorite one.

“(Y/n) would you be a sweetheart and go get the mail?”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you get up from Taehyun’s bed and stalk to the top of the stairs to see Taehyun’s mom, holding a pair of keys with a soft smile that looks extremely like your boyfriend’s.

“Of course, I was waiting for Taehyun anyway, he’s taking a shower right now!” Your steps thud against each step, and with a childish grin, you grab the keys from her hand and skip out of the door. It was a very nice day today, and you suppose the grass is greener than ever and the birds are chirping as loud as they can be.

A few neighbors are mowing their lawns, waving hello when you walk past them, your own father rolling his eyes when you laugh at him. The mailbox isn’t far, and it doesn’t take you too long for you to insert the key, pulling the little door open to find a bunch of letters and a small package that was able to squeeze past the small space.

Fingers cramming underneath the stack of white paper, you manage to pull everything out in one go, just a few falling out from your grasp, clicking your tongue when they touch the concrete below. You bend your knees to grab one.

“No fucking way.”

Now all the letters are on the ground.

Because you’ve let them go from the shock of seeing Taehyun’s name printed on the backside with San Fransisco, just right below it–Taehyun had gotten accepted.

Your arms don’t feel attached when you robotically pick everything up, Taehyun’s acceptance letter shaking in your hands. Flipping the envelope around, your fingers itch to open it but you quickly tuck it under your arm and walk back to Taehyun’s house in a much duller mood.

You suppose that you’re happy, Taehyun gets to spend more time with you, and he’ll be able to stay longer in this small town. But it still stabs you inside–he’s leaving in any situation, and you can’t do anything about it.

When you get back to his house, you let yourself in through the cracked door and meet his parents by the dining table, placing all but one of the mail down on the countertop, mouth cracking open as you hold his acceptance letter up.

“Taehyun got mail back from California!”

“Seriously?”

“What.”

Two voices overlap with each other, one a little more joyous and higher his mother and father rising from their seat in surprise. The other was weak with a tone you couldn’t exactly recognize. Facing the boy behind you, your hands deliver the letter to him, a smile disappearing at the way that he trembles.

“Tae go ahead and open it, oh god we’re so proud of you.” His mother pinches his cheeks, and his father pats him on his back, but he doesn’t react to any of it, just staring at you instead.

Something’s wrong and you know it.

“Mrs. Kang, did you guys not check the mailbox recently? They usually send acceptance letters quite earlier than now.” You make talk as Taehyun slowly rips open the letter, popping off easily so he can slide his fingers to pull out the paper. “We did...I made Taehyun go down, just a week ago...and you said that you didn’t find anything right, honey?”

“Mhm.”

Looking up at Taehyun, he avoids your eye, reading the paper out loud, for everyone to read, voice shaking in his throat. But he’s unable to make it through the first few lines, when his dad who was eager enough to read faster than Taehyun’s unbearably slow pace, points out probably the biggest heartbreak of your life.

“Taehyun! They’re letting you fly out to them, early!”

Eyes shooting towards Taehyun’s you’re surprised to see them well up with tears, looking down at his feet as he nods. His mother tugging the paper out from his arms, confirms it with great excitement that you couldn’t reciprocate, hugging her son tightly against her, smothering him with kisses.

Taehyun’s face held something close to when he was caught stealing candy when he was younger...he’d known all about the acceptance letter and that he was going to leave you early, not the opposite that he had promised.

Yet now I find I've grown into A tall child

Taking a step back with anger, you want to throw a tantrum, you want to rip the letter in half like a child. You want to cry and whine while holding onto your mom, telling her to make it stop, to not let him go. You greatly wished to clutch onto his leg like a petulant toddler.

But you don’t. Instead, you ask, “When does he have to...go?” Your voice is weak, but the parents don’t take notice and reply with a merry “May sixteenth.” The day after graduation. Taehyun’s hand reaches out to you, but you gently swat it away and tap on his mother’s shoulder with a smile that blubbered when it spoke. “My father had just texted me; I have to go home.”

Mouth twisting at your abruptness, she nods, “All right then! Tell your parents not to make dinner, we’re going to celebrate tonight!” You agree to mention it to them, but you’re not sure you want to see Taehyun that night, so you quickly walk to the front door, saying goodbye.

You’re furious, and you bet that if anyone looked outside their window, they would’ve asked who that big baby is that’s stomping wildly across the road, not looking both sides to realize that there was a car that doesn’t even dare to beep.

“Watch out!”

Your body spins around, as your skirt hits the bumper of the car, but you're safely in the hands of your lying boyfriend, eyes big as saucers when he looks down at you. “(Y/n) how many times did I tell you to check the road before crossing the street!”

“Yet you couldn’t tell me that you were going to leave early!?” You pull away from him and keep on marching down the road, aware of the way that Taehyun follows your footsteps, keeping close by. “I’m so sorry (Y/n), I just didn’t know how to tell you!”

“Oh, fuck off, Taehyun!”

A mother cups the ears of her young son’s ears, sending you two a glare that you couldn’t care about. “(Y/n) Come on, please! Listen to me!” He cries, running ahead to stop you from your tracks, taking in all the kicks that you throw at him, angrily giving up when he scrunches his nose too hard at a very strong particular punch to his stomach.

“Were you going to leave me without telling me?”

He huffs, trying to regain his breath but he shakes his head. “No, of course not, I–”

“Then why didn’t you tell me when you actually found out. Do you think that I was going to care? You’re me leaving anyways!” You’re harsh with your words and he winces.

“Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t mea–”

“No, it’s alright.” He hangs his head shamefully, and he shakily sobs when you come closer. “I couldn’t come to terms with it. I didn’t want to leave you sooner, I just wanted to pretend that you were going to be with me forever, even though...”

“You should stay, but you can’t” You wipe the tears from his face, and you find it ironic that this time, you’re in his place, comforting him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I could never be too mad at you for a long time. You’re probably going to come visit us anyway, so I don’t know why I blew it out of proportion.”

The look he sends you churns your stomach a little, but he pushes you along to your house, smiling through the crack of the door before you close it on him.

“Get pretty for me, baby.”

When it comes to the time for the dinner party that his parents both hosted for him, you two locked yourself in his room that night, admiring the way that the other looked for the last few times.

Graduation had come fast as you and all your other friends and your boyfriend sat at a round table, all wearing the same attire. You’ve come to enjoy the lovely atmosphere and the beautiful memories, you’d shared with each other, which you’re now using against them in a game of “Who’s going to cry first.”

Jay and Gaeul were currently sobbing against each other, Sunghoon was holding a staring contest with a tree, Ningning was cursing as her tears fell, trying to gaslight the others that she wasn’t actually crying...and everyone else was doing something somewhere in the middle.

You, Huening, and Taehyun laugh, teasing the people that you’ve grown up with, holding a bittersweet heart that wishes to never stop beating for them.

“Alright, shall we start our ceremony then? Please welcome the graduates of 20XX!”

One by one, everyone leaves to get their diploma that many have shed tears into, cheering as they run to their family waiting for them in the crowd. You watch with big eyes and chuckle when Jake manages to trip over the steps and flip his econ teacher off, drumming your fingers on your table, patiently sitting to be called, exchanging looks with your boyfriend.

“Kang Taehyun!”

You yell loudly as the boy next to you shushes you when he gets up, but his face is flushed with happiness when he walks across the stage, and you’re unable to tear your eyes from him–he’s quite mesmerizing, to say the least.

And when it comes time for you to walk, he swears that you look like an angel that has graced everyone with your presence, but Jake gags and pushes him away to hug you, congratulating you. You’re severely happy and your cheeks hurt, from the amount of smiling that you’ve done in the past few hours.

A hand creeps up to your shoulder, and suddenly there are a bunch of carnations sitting in your hand, feeling shy when Gaeul points it out and starts teasing you and your boyfriend for being sappy.

And I don't wanna go home yet Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

You don’t want this day to end, you want to stay young forever you think. But you managed to capture the feelings with a click of a camera, tugging Taehyun to kiss, when the flash goes off and everyone screams “cheese”.

Please hurry leave me I can't breathe

The open window didn’t help your lungs, as it struggled to take in air, heartbeat shattering against its cavity in a tremendous matter. Next to you sits Kang Taehyun in his glory, using the scenery as an excuse to look at you. It was midday but the roads weren’t littered with cars, leaving a clear path for the Kang’s family car to roll down easily. The radio chattered with nonsense, but it was turned down over an important conversation Taehyun and his mother were having.

“Please be careful when you get there!”

He scoffs and crosses his arms, “I feel like you’ve told me that over a hundred times. I promise I’ll be safe!” Flinching, when you smack him over the head, telling his mom that he was being incredibly rude and that he should apologize to her–just to make him a little annoyed for your fun. “Oh, I can’t believe how grown up you two are. I just remember when the both of you were able to fit in the palms of our hands.”

That cues Mrs. Kang's emotional tears and her rambles about life, comforted by her husband and the silent chuckles that you leave behind your hands. But you understand how she feels, heart aching and eyes bloodshot even after the relentless sobbing you did last night with Taehyun, lying down in his flower garden. You two were able to finally talk about...what you guys were going to have to be. He said

“Long distance, lovers” had a nice ring, but it left a bitter taste in your mouth. And after much back and forth over what title to pick, you decided that a label wasn’t needed if you knew the other with magnificent love.

You wonder what the boy next to you feels–but you don’t really want to face him yet.

“Taehyun you’re sure, you’ve got everything, from here on we can’t do anything else if you’ve forgotten anything.” His father reminds him as he rolls into the airport parking lot, sighing deeply when he finds you two in awe of the airplanes that fly out, disappearing into the blue sky in mere seconds.

“I’m sure. I made (Y/n) and Mom check it for me too.” He then gets out of the car and helps his dad unpack two large suitcases that he was able to shove his whole life into, clenching his fists when the trunk of the car closes right behind him.

He lets his father carry his suitcase so he can hold you flush against him, smiling blindingly with eyes that get bigger at the glass elevator and even larger at the great doors that lead him inside to where he could check himself in.

“Shit this is huge...” You murmur up to him, clutching the back of his leather jacket, when the cool rush of air filters in once the sliding doors open. His parents are just right behind, watching you two with their own feelings of sadness, smiles unable to reach their eyes when you kiss his knuckles softly as you two walk up to the counter.

“One ticket for Kang Taehyun!” The elderly woman handed him the paper slip, before telling him to hurry it down to get through security check-in because his flight was going to leave soon. Gulping at the ticket in his hand, you find that you suddenly have a distaste for these particular passes.

You’re not sure what’s worse right now, either that time was going too slow because you don’t know how long your feet are going to give up under you, watching him leave or...

Time going too slow was the worst.

You wish that you could hold him back, but your heart seems to beat erratically, too hard for you to even understand as the approaching gates of the security check-in come into place, families and friends saying goodbyes to their loved ones just beyond a glass window.

The whirling crowd of people seems to disappear as you set your sights on your boyfriend, giving his hand a tight squeeze when you feel the tears start to drown your waterline, blinking them away when the threaten to spill over.

He doesn’t say anything, but squeeze your hand two times more, putting every ounce of his comfort in the gesture.

“Oh, Taehyunnie!” His mom throws herself in his arms, finally indulging in her distress, and you feel like you're watching a drama where she rubs his cheeks and holds him close while he rejects his affections with a red face.

You decide to stay back and let them have their family time, watching them wistfully when Taehyun also starts to tear up, nose beginning to twitch. He whispers sweet words of affirmation which they nod to and at last back up, beckoning you to come closer.

Mrs. Kang stares at her husband before she awkwardly coughs, wiping away her fallen tears. “Dear, we should go get some chocolate from the vending machine, I’m just a bit hungry.” And as he opens his mouth to object, she drags him away, winking in your direction, making you and your boyfriend laugh quietly, turning to each other when it gets too hard to ignore the sick feeling in your stomach.

“You better have fun.” You smile, dusting down his shirt, looking him straight in the eye when he nods slowly. “It won’t be the same, without you being by my side...” He starts to choke and stops your fiddling by tugging your arms over his shoulder, pulling you close while he buries his head in the nape of your neck, his fluffy hair tickling your jaw.

You choose not to say anything, just wanting to relish in this tender moment, your lips pressing gently to his temple, closing your eyes when he hugs you tighter.

Breaking apart, he quickly looks at his watch, and kisses you ever so softly, so warmly that his lips melt into yours, his grip on your clawing into your skin, penetrating the deeper levels, just past your nerves that jumble nervously.

“I’m going to miss you a lot.” You think you’ve spent all your tears already, for you don’t cry and Taehyun seems to have the will in him to suck it up, but there’s those lingering sobs that echo in your hearts and ring in your ears, a connection that you both shared. “I promise to call you every day, actually scrap that–facetime you every day and–”

He yelps when your palm covers his mouth, taking it away when he stops his rambling, staring at you with curious eyes. “You don’t have to do all of that. Just promise me that you’ll visit me again, in our town. I don’t care how much ever it’s going to take you, but please... see me once more. Promise me that.” Your pinky shakes as it raises, holding it towards his heart.

“I–okay. I promise you, sweetheart.”

Taehyun is sincere and it breaks your heart a little. Pulling his finger apart from you, his lips find your forehead, attached to your hairline for quite some time before he’s being forced to pull apart, when his father taps on his shoulder, cocking his head towards the growing line. You swallow deeply and hesitantly let go of his t-shirt, letting it drag through the tips of your fingers.

Taehyun exhales and sends you a watery chuckle, “I love–”

But it hurts, so you shut him up with a swift kiss to his lips, just once more. “Me too. Have a safe flight.” And then you weakly push him, quivering when his parents hug you.

Please don't say you love me 胸がはち切れそうで

You think you're going insane, chasing Taehyun through the glass panels, his parents just behind you while you slide your palms over the cloudy barrier, mimicking Taehyun who just does the same, walking at a fast pace. Until...

He’s gone.

Nights you’ve spent awake, you’ve imagined yourself crumbling onto the ground, crying your heart out, but you don’t. You find yourself turning back and following his melancholic parents back to the car, where they’ll drop you at your house, and perhaps, you’ll cry then.

Months go by and you’re still waiting for a call from Taehyun, the time is a little bit over four in the morning, but you think that another day is about to go amiss. He’s gotten a little busier lately, but you suppose that you would do anything for him, even if it meant waking up at ungodly times so he could call you, patiently sitting in your bed for a response that would never come.

One word from you and I would Jump off of this Ledge I'm on Baby

You know that you told him not to worry about keeping up with you every day, that it was unnecessary, but you feel a certain amount of soreness in your muscles and in your bones.

The line rings for a while before it turns silent again and your heart burns, but you put it aside and instead decide to climb out of your window to watch the moon. The times that he’d called you, he seemed joyous and jubilant, with a bright smile that outshone the sun and the galaxies of burning stars. You think that’s he happier there, but that’s okay.

Everything is okay.

Though you wish that he faked his gleeful smiles, telling you “no” that the States sucked and the friends he’d made on the way could never compare with this small town. Just so you can, feel pitiful for him, for yourself, and all the stars that miss him on your rooftop. But you know that he’s ashamed.

Tell me "don't" So I can Crawl back in

As long as he came back to you.

One word from you and I would Jump off of this Ledge I'm on Baby

This is the second wedding you’ve been to, in a span of a few months. And it’s the first one that’s taken you out of the little town and out into the world.

Taehyun hadn’t kept your promise.

You blankly stare back at the wedding invitation in your hands, eyes furiously reading it over and over again, because there was no way that was real. Taehyun wasn’t getting married–who were you kidding? Taehyun wasn’t getting married, no not after just six years...that would be crazy. Extremely insane.

So why hasn’t he visited you so far? So why were you crying? You’re not sure, but your heart aches as you drag your eyes to the woman who is his fiancé. She’s pretty, but you’re sure that she could never compare with you, not eight years of love, since fucking fourth grade. Since that Valentine’s Day dance.

Taehyun’s wedding is going to be February thirteenth, just a day before your anniversary where you spend your day in your room crying over missed love.

You don’t know if you want to go anymore or not, or to even forgive him.

So I can Crawl back in

You wish that he hadn’t sent you this, so you could forever live in the shadows of your delusions that he would come back for you. But you would do anything for him. Even if he asked you to relive the heartbreak of your first love, once more.

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txtmetonight · 1 month

Text

Thank you soo much my love <333

Second Chances?

call summary ⋆ ★ Maybe he's too good for you or maybe your just an asshole

"reader accidentally cheats on member while drunk when he's overseas and he comes back and finds out even though reader tried to hide it from him. but reader truly doesn't want to break up and with a heavy heart tells him to do the same so that they would be even."

caller ID *. * Anonymous

pairing ⋆ ★ OT5 x Fem! Reader

genre *. * Angst, Fluff

warnings ⋆ ★ Cheating, erm toxic behavior, crying, bad grammar bc I was too lazy to check it lol, alcohol

call duration⋆ ★ 4.2k (Headcannons + a little story)

a/n*. * omg sorry this is so late 😭 I work with kids and no one tells you that working with small children gives you the immune system of a Victorian child 💀 and 3 of my classes had assigned me several essays to write. Hopefully this satisfies you bc i changed some of the stuff around so it didn't seem repeated for each member and may have taken your request and just ran with it lololol. Also if you see an uncanny similarities between one of my enhypen headcannons...no you don't zbzbzbz.

Soobin ˚ · • . ° .

✭ The first night that Soobin has ever cried to you, his lips trembled as he tucked his head into the crook of your shoulder, he had asked you not to leave him–to stay with him thick and thin for he couldn’t live a life without you

✭ Pressing soft kisses to his head, you lifted his head to leave a long-lasting kiss on his lips, melting into him before you pulled apart, love swirling on the pads of your fingers as you wiped away his tears

✭ “I will never ever leave you. I promise.”

✭ And you don’t, you really don’t, but now your lips are bruised with guilt that you can’t get rid of as many times as you wash your face, and your eyes are rimmed with tears that can’t seem to stop falling even each time you think that you’re leaked them all

✭ The bathroom mirror reflects a version of yourself that you wished to never see yourself–a lying cheater when your poor hardworking boyfriend was overseas

✭ You really suppose that you didn’t mean to, but you’ve been missing the touch of someone or maybe you were missing the feeling of exhilaration thriving underneath the skin so that’s why...

✭ That’s why you let Hyunjin let you kiss you so soft underneath the club’s lights while your brain fell into a drunken haze that you couldn’t escape

✭ You don’t dare to tell anyone though and for days on end you’re ridiculed with endless guilt and insecurity as you wait for your lover to come back home–which even them brings you more despair

✭ You love Soobin and your heart aches for him and so with much mulling over a despicable thought you had decided that you would hide the sinful kiss and continue with him normally even though your stomach churned in guilty displeasure

✭ And when your boyfriend came back with a flourish of his love, you kiss him hard against his lips trying to erase the pain that stirred deep inside you

“Are you alright babe?” He chuckles, pulling away from you to scan your face, cradling you in his arms. “I... I just missed you a lot” You whisper and pull him back into a kiss again, tears threatening to flood down your cheeks, a promise to yourself that you’d never ever let him find out–even as much as guilt as you felt.

✭ Too bad you weren’t as careful as you thought you were–because, after nights of unrestful slumbers and gut-wrenching pain, you find yourself in the hands of your own karma, hands that choke you slowly when Soobin pulls out a piece of paper that you didn’t even know existed

✭ That sinful night when you committed an act of immorality, it seems so that Hyunjin has slipped his number and rather disgusting words down the pocket of your jeans

“Soobin...” Your head hangs low as you chew on the bottom of your lip, swaying side to side as you watch your boyfriend unfold the slip with a tremble in his hands. “I had fun with you. Hit me up again? XOXO Jinnie.” His eyes are rimmed with red and you your guts swoop and tumble up your throat where they threaten to spill out of your tongue.

“I didn’t mean to,” you cry, walking a step closer to him, but stop when he flinches. “How am I–how am I supposed to trust you.” His words are vile like poison and send you spiraling and before you know it, you’re on you’ve buckled down onto your knees and Soobin’s right by your side in a worry. “(Y/n)–”

“I’m so sorry Soobin! I really–really didn’t mean to, I dunno what happened and all of a sudden, I–no he kissed me and I just–” You’re breaking down and your lover is wiping away your tears and kissing your cheeks. You feel worse than you felt before. You’re not sure why he was doing this but your heart aches for him. It’s about to burst.

“Calm down.” He sighs, pushing back your hair, gently turning your jaw to look at him with pity lacing his eyes. “You’re not going to leave me, are you?” You whimper, eyes widening and jaw going slack when he doesn’t answer. “Soobin?” You’re gasping for air by now and your brain makes you pant when you clutch his hands against you.

“Soobin–you can–you can cheat on me if you want to! I really–please don’t leave me!”

His eyes widen in shock before he shakes his head and pulls you closer to him, letting you curl against his frame while you shake. “(Y/n), sweetheart, I–no. I’m not going to do that.” He reassures but those aren’t the words you’re looking for, searching the expanse of his tearing eyes for them instead. Soobin notices and kisses you softly on the forehead.

“And I’m not going to leave you either.”

Yeonjun ˚ · • . ° .

✭ Yeonjun is truly one of a kind–a man that you couldn’t even start to explain even as much as your tongue twisted and turned with words that tried to describe him

✭ Yeonjun who is your boyfriend, Yeonjun who you love very much that your heart feels like it would explode in adoration, Yeonjun who you’re sure makes out with half of the girls he meets because, he is just so pretty and handsome, and he just can’t help it

✭ Perhaps you are really stupid, too blind in love to notice his tousled hair every other night, or the bright red lips that plaster his neck–a color that you don’t even own!

✭ And maybe you’re tired of it, you really are, but every time you have your body aches to leave him, you always find yourself back at step 1, kissing him fondly as he whispers sweet nonsensical words to you, having you drink it in like ambrosia

✭ You suppose you miss true love once more–and crave it in ways that you couldn’t imagine

✭ So, when you let a childhood friend that you’ve known has liked you for years, back into the space of your living room, just because you were starting to feel the shadows of Yeonjun’s absence on you...

✭ You let him tap his finger on your jaw and pull you in to softly kiss you, raw emotion bursting in your gut when Changbin pulls away, his fingers wiping away the tears that you cast

When Changbin places another kiss right on the corner of your lips, your heart melts and you sob, tucking into his chest for a chance to escape. “(Y/n), I don’t know why you’re still with him, but I promise I can treat you better.” You nod, closing your eyes as crimson paints your mouth, and after much thought, you say what you believe you deserve. “I–I’ll break up with him.”

✭ Yeonjun is more caring than ever when he comes back, and you wonder what happened in the span of a few months

✭ He stays behind more, helps you with the chores and you wake up every morning with his head snuggling the crook of your neck, placing kisses of love that you couldn’t find before

✭ He blamed it on the homesickness because you’re his home and he loves you very much

✭ And you blame it on the guilt and the bullshit

✭ But you can’t help getting the words out of your mouth and it scratches your throat as you stand next to him, in his embrace, where you find a bruise on his neck

✭ But you suppose fate was giving you one more chance when Yeonjun found Changbin’s sweater in your shared room

“(Y/n) whose is this? This definitely isn’t mine.” Yeonjun spits, throwing a bright blue sweater at your feet when you enter the room. Your eyes widen and you shake your head, mouth trembling when you pick it up. “It’s–it’s...” Looking at his furrowed brows you falter and take a step back. “I don’t know.” Yeonjun sneers, ‘Really? Is it not Changbin's? Do you really think I’m that dumb?!”

Tears leak down your cheeks when you realize that this is your chance. But you’re too afraid–you think. Too scared to imagine your life without Yeonjun. And so, you shake your head at his words, saliva slowly sticking your teeth close. “You’re such a fucking–” He bites his lips to stop his words and messes up his hair in frustration.

“Yeonjun...” You cry.

“What!” He barks.

“You can cheat on me back if you want to.”

Yeonjun’s lips quiver into a smile before it diminishes into a tight lip, slowly walking towards you to back you into the wall. “What kind of boyfriend would I be to do that? Cheat on my girlfriend? I’m not you, am I?” He chuckles, pulling back your hair when you look at his feet. “No, you’re not,” You say, softly pushing at his arm. “It’s whatever, sweetheart. I’m such a good boyfriend, not leaving you.”

You nod and clench your fists. “I’m so sorry Junnie. You’re an amazing boyfriend.”

✭ You don’t meet Changbin’s awaiting eyes when you and Yeonjun walk past him, figure trembling when Yeonjun flips him off

Beomgyu ˚ · • . ° .

✭ You and Beomgyu were complicated, but he doesn’t think so

✭ “He liked you” he would say, but he always seemed to ignore you in the eyes of the public, lips always tearing into a sneer when he found you staring at him with a rather pitiful look

✭ But why did he kiss you so softly every night, holding you in his arms when you cried to him about it

✭ You don’t understand him at times–he gives you severe whiplash and you’re not sure if it was intentional or not

✭ He gives and takes, and you’re exhausted when you watch him flirt with another girl in front of you but then drag you to the nearest alley because he missed your lips

✭ You’re not official in the eyes of his friends but you’re official in his heart–and it stabs you in the heart every single time when he acts like he cares

“You’re so pretty” He softly says, kissing the spot right below your ear when you turn around and face him. You have more to say, and he notices so he shuts you up with his lips. “Beomgyu I...” You pull apart and fiddle with his shirt, but he ignores your saddening mood, instead grabbing his phone. His eyes light up when someone texts him and you try to melt into the couch, shying away your gaze to the window. “Hey (Y/n), I have to go. I’ll text you later, kay?” He doesn’t even wait for your response and leaves the door shut in his wake.

✭ When Beomgyu leaves for a while, you come to an area of realization that him leaving you for a few months feels the same when he uses you like a toy–you’re alone in all the ways possible

✭ And you’re moping–which gets your friends confused and annoyed, so they’ve convinced you to go out with them for drinks

✭ Which ultimately ends up with you in the arms of an old friend that you haven’t seen in years, bringing Jaeyun back home with your lips tangled with his and his hands in your hair

✭ Yet you feel some sort of hole in your heart– and it aches and burns when his fingers expanse over your stomach and your neck

✭ When he leaves small kisses against your cheeks and forehead, while you two settles against the couch–the same couch where Beomgyu called you his so lovingly

✭ And it feels so wrong when he cuddles into your side, watching a movie that you supposed you loved when it was actually Beomgyu’s favorite

✭ So, when Jake quietly apologizes and says that he needed to pick up Heeseung because he shit-faced over a few drinks, you feel as though the rock on your chest had been lifted and you can suddenly breathe again

✭ But it’s back again, heavier than ever when you find Beomgyu ringing your doorbell just moments after, with a suitcase in hand and an angry tremor on his lips–which you just find so absurd

“Beomie, what...what are you doing–”

“Who was that?” He sputters, letting himself into your apartment. “No one.” Your mouth is clenched when you close the door behind him, cursing at yourself underneath your breath. “Seriously? No one?” He mocks, crossing his arms over when you don’t respond, but how could you when anger rolls off you and your nails dig into your skin? “I don’t know why you even care!” You yell, throwing a pillow at him in frustration.

“Ow! I–what do you mean I don’t care, of course I care!” You shake your head and grab his suitcase to take it back outside. “You’re always acting like I don’t exist when you’re with your friends but then you come back to me like nothing’s wrong! Are you embarrassed of me or something?”

“No of course not.”

“Then why?!” You stare at him for an answer, but he just looks at the ground, shuffling around with his feet. You sigh and tap your feet against the floor. “Whatever Beomgyu, just get the fuck out of my house.”

“Wait, (Y/n), I’m so sorry, I don’t know why–" His hands clasp around yours, pulling you back into him. "Just leave me alone, find another girl to cheat on with or something, because I'm done with your bullshit." You crack and suddenly you're being hugged, quivering when you start to cry.

"I'm so sorry."

Taehyun ˚ · • . ° .

✭ The first time you’ve ever cried over a movie was actually a Disney movie–Rapunzel at that

✭ And you were just sobbing because Flynn Rider loved Rapunzel and not you...which you quickly found out in a few years was a really stupid thing to cry over and served your mom a lifetime camera roll of videos that exemplified pure embarrassment

✭ But here you are now, almost 15 years later and tearing up over a boy (Jay Park) that you’ve had your eyes on for so long but can’t attain in a relationship

✭ Taehyun is in the same situation too, lost in the eyes of another girl (Yu Karina) whom he can’t help but admire

✭ So, when you sob to Hyuka about it, he immediately consults you to Taehyun and proposes a rather idiotic but genius plan that leaves you and the pink-haired boy nodding along idiotic but a genius plan that left you and the pink-haired boy nodding along

“You two should totally fake date! You know, like making whoever you want jealous. I think it would work out!” Kai’s loud and his words seem to echo inside your head while the boy you’ve met just a few moments ago stares at his friend with a rather interested look on his face.

“That’s not...a bad idea, actually.” He then turns towards you as you shy away into where you were sitting, looking back at Kai for help who does nothing but shrug. So, you sigh and slowly nod your head, growing a grin on Taehyun’s face. “Sure, why not. Wouldn’t hurt to try, I think.”

✭ Everyone was certainly shocked and surprised; eyes widening and several gasps falling from your friend’s lips (except for Kai) when you came out to everyone that you and Taehyun were dating–after some very detailed rules that you both agreed upon

✭ And it was nice you suppose, especially when you find Jay staring at your interlocked hands with Taehyun, or when you pretend to kiss him

✭ Yet sometimes, when Taehyun tucks your hair back and hugs you to his chest, your chest thrums a little in warmth and you long to indulge a little more in him

✭ You think you’re about to go insane–in turmoil, as your stomach aches each time you look at Jay and Taehyun, lips quivering at night at your feelings of love

✭ And oh god, it didn’t help that Taehyun was so nice to you, all gentlemanly-like while he pretended to care, pretended to love you as your own tenderness seemed to fester underneath your beating heart

✭ You were confused and hurt about yourself, so when Taehyun goes off for a while and you’re stuck at home, your fingers scratch at your skin for answers that you craved, bleeding at the tip of your tongue as Jay finally took his chance to kiss you in the back of a parking lot

✭ For a kiss you thought would be joyous, it was stale and gross when you recount it back sadly to Hyuka, cheeks red with shame when you see Jay’s text following up

✭ You weren’t exactly dating Taehyun so you haven’t done anything necessarily wrong, but the remnants of sourness burn your stomach, as though you were caught doing something so immoral

✭ When Taehyun comes back, you wish to cut off your lips so you wouldn’t tell him what had happened–but you quickly find out that your mutual friend had called him the very morning

The air is warm and mellow but inside your throat, it rages a storm of guilt and despise as you stare at Taehyun at the door, swaying softly on the balls of your feet when you both exchange greetings filled with unease. You’re being eaten alive, you presume when you let him in, knees becoming Jello when he sighs.

“You and Jay, huh?” He finally teases but his words don’t have a joking tilt to them, and rather are dull and blunt when it hits you. You’re not sure what to say, because you have millions to spew out to the boy next to you, a whirlwind of emotions that you want to express, but you stay silent and stare at your newly bought red boots next to the front door.

“It would’ve been nice if you told me earlier.”

“I’m sorry.” You softly whisper, not flinching at the way that his fingers rub at your knuckles. “It’s fine...I was going to ask you to ‘break up’ anyways, I didn’t think that it was working.” Your head shoots up at his words when you suddenly dawn on the situation at hand, on why your gut was churning so much when you kissed Jay.

It meant that this whole ordeal with Taehyun was going to disappear like nothing ever happened between you two. You also realize that you’re really fucking dumb when you reach out to grab his wrist, stopping him from getting up. His eyebrows raise and you feel bile in your mouth, swishing around as you try to figure out what to say.

“I–I don’t want you to leave.”

“Huh?”

You quickly shake your head, playing with the tiny rip flannel as you try not to erupt in a multitude of emotions. “I really don’t want you to leave. Just please–I... you can cheat on me if you want to, but please don’t leave me.” Your brain hurts when you think about him kissing another girl, but you’d do anything for him to be by your side, just for a little longer.

Taehyun furrows his brows and lets himself sit back down, taking your hands into his when you look away. “What’s going on?”

And finally, you sob. “I’m just so fucking sorry. I know I promised that I wouldn’t like you or whatever and that Jay was who I liked, but I can’t help it! And I really regret kissing him, and I really regret telling you to kiss another woman, because I’m going to be really fucking jealous–”

You’re shut up when Taehyun kisses you so softly, his hands tucking back a stray piece of hair from your face. “Taehyun...” You sigh, trembling against him when he wipes away a stray tear. “I like you too, pretty girl. But you promise you don’t like Jay anymore...”

Yoru heart clenches and your teeth grin but when he pulls you back into his chest, you nod.

“I promise.”

Kai ˚ · • . ° .

✭ Kai was your first sweetheart–the one that you suppose you’ve loved for your entire life without even knowing

✭ And oh god he’s so sweet, with honey eyes that never left you or a smooth tongue that spewed out countless messages of his love towards you with his tender fingers brushing a strand piece of hair away while you sat in his lap

✭ But as of now, your heart throbs with trouble and agony when you catch his faltering smile and when his plastic lips kiss you tightly, and you think that you’re going to sob–hard

✭ You assume that this was natural, feeling as though you were slowly breaking apart with him, but you find yourself praying over that it wasn’t, that you still love him as much as you did before

✭ But all that ended up doing was leave sour blood in your mouth from the number of times you bit your cheeks, hands tainted with guilt when you stared too long into the distance–just past your lover

✭ Falling out of love was maybe the best but you can’t seem to reason why

✭ Your teeth are starting to fall out and your head hurts as you try to wrap around the explanation–the revelation that’s making you and Kai feel this way

Your eyes hold tears that refuse to fall. Kai doesn’t notice and it hurts even more, but you sit next to him, watching the clock tick. You wonder if a clock was an animated object–would it get tired of its clicking? Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

Your heart doesn’t beat faster anymore next to him, and you think that it got bored. When his fingers rub at your knees, rubbing in a scar, you do nothing but stare at the time. Time used to go fast but it’s dulled now into an inconsistent background noise of humming.

✭ Kai has never liked leaving you alone for so long nor did you, always whining on the phone for him to come back to you

✭ But now you find it almost melancholy when the house is empty and the thoughts of another don’t infiltrate the air–and so you breathe deeply

✭ You take fulfilling breaths that you couldn’t do, lips drawing into a smile when you eat breakfast or talk to your friends or when you start drinking bottles and bottles of Soju that leave you crying over lost love in the middle of the night

✭ It’s bad you know, but it’s the only way you know to cope, feeling alone in a maze that you were supposed to get through with Huening

✭You’ve never in your life thought about the prospect of cheating, not with Kai who was the world’s biggest lover

✭ But you think that you’ve just soiled your lips with the mouth of another, in a haze that you were slowly falling deeper and deeper into, desperately trying to climb yourself out before everything caved into itself

✭ You feel wrong and like throwing your guts back up when you realize what you had just done but you hadn’t drastically pale too much upon the thought even though you should have

✭ Your thoughts don’t run a million miles per hour, rather just a thousand but it’s still bad...

✭ Yet you come to a realization and a questionnaire after a cup tea and some crackers for your upset stomach–Would Kai even care?

✭ It shatters your heart though you know that the both of you are stringing the other on but can’t leave, like you’re addicted to a lasting bitter taste that resides just after a sugary smidge

✭ When he arrives back, you try your best not to slip up, though you really should

✭ An Instagram post spills your secret instead

You’re not crying, surprisingly. You really should be though when Kai sends you a screenshot of you in the background of Yeji’s picture kissing Sunghoon at a small dingy bar. You don’t respond to his text either, but walk solemnly back to your shared house, the smell of decaying love just on the tip of your nose.

And when you open the door, the smell wafts through the hall and the kitchen, where Kai sits at the dining table with a huge frown on his face. “I’m sorry.” That’s the first thing you utter when you walk inside. “You didn’t mean to, did you?” He asks and his words are like tiny daggers that prickle at your skin when you nod, pressing deeper and deeper as he stands up.

“(Y/n) I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I–I think I...” He trails off and tucks his lips under his teeth. Tears begin to well in his eyes and it hurts you to the point you can’t inhale. “I know. Me too” You whisper, pulling and teasing at a hangnail, sighing when you try to throw a watery smile at him.

“If you want to, you can...can cheat on me too. You know, kiss another girl, your choice.”

Kai chuckles. “That’s not healthy and you know that (Y/n). Maybe this was for the best.”

“So, are you just going to leave?” You ask, tonging at your raw cheeks.

He nods slowly and looks at you once more, straight in the eyes so you could flinch away from him. As though you’ve been slapped. “Yeah, I think so. For the best?”

“For the best.” The clock stops ticking.

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txtmetonight · 1 month

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hello! can i request for a angst/fluff or hurt/comfort headcannon for all the txt members?

reader accidentally cheats on member while drunk when he's overseas and he comes back and find out even though reader tried to hide it from him. but reader truly doesn't want to break up and with a heavy heart tells him to do the same so that they would be even.

or whichever direction you think would work best! thank you ☺️

Here you go! I'm sooooo sorry that it's so late omg

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