The Slashers as Cats
As you may be able to tell, I have cats…
Jason Voorhees
A stray when you found him. Mangy, dirty, in serious need of TLC–once you clean him up, his fur is still a bit rough, but he’s an adorable scrapper. He has scars on his face and ears from past fights.
He’s a total lap cat. Incredibly loyal, he’ll follow you around all day, just wanting to be near you. You’re the only human he likes. Just you…you’re the only good one. If he visits anyone else’s room, it’s a ‘stop what you’re doing, you’re witnessing a miracle’ moment.
Feeding and Grooming. Brings you dead animals because he thinks you can’t hunt for yourself. What if you starve? He’d also groom you. If you pull away, he’ll paw-slap you. Just accept his love!
Essentially Jason in his final form. He’s a very good boy. In fact, he’s your best boy. No one’s as well behaved as him. (He’s the lowest maintenance cat.)
Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface)
Sixth Sense levels of ESP. Knows if you’re upset, and will always magically show up when you need him. Whenever you’re crying, he’ll scratch at your door, then hop up onto your bed. He’ll curl up against you and purr.
Purrs for no apparent reason. Look at him? Purr. Trip over him? Purr. Simply exist? Puuurrrrrrr. (He loves you that much.)
Looks scary, is actually scared. Rather skittish around other humans, hides under your bed when afraid. Still, everyone is afraid of him. Parents fear for their small children because he’s large enough to cause serious damage.
Rejected. Thomas grew up in a pet store, watching all the other kittens get adopted–all but him. That is, until you came into his life. Thomas understands what it’s like to be rejected and alone. He always shows his appreciation by being there whenever you need him most.
Michael Myers
Don’t touch me foul human! (Severe levels of moodiness.) Swipe, swipe, swipe-ty, swipe! He’ll give a warning meow before you even reach for him. Seriously…he’s insane. Everyone fears him–except for you. (Because you’re the first human he met in the family–the one who adopted him. Or rather, he chose you.)
Stalks around like a majestic puma. He cannot be tamed, and supreme sass fills his every action. Michael cares about his fur, because he’s flipping gorgeous and he knows it. Messing up his fur legitimately bothers him.
Secretly a very emotional cat. Holds legitimate grudges (for a day or so). If you pet another cat in front of him, he will absolutely pout over it. Don’t try to pet him…he needs time.
Looks scary, is scary. You know he loves you because you’re the only one that can pick him up. Also, your room is the only one he’ll sleep in.
Essentially Michael with permanently attached claws. All those times he slaps your hands away? Imagine if he had his knife at the ready. That’s feline Michael in a nutshell.
Brahms Heelshire
In need of a makeover. Matted fur, doesn’t even try to groom himself. Brahms requires a strict grooming regiment alongside anti-hairball food.
A shameless attention whore. He will follow delivery people to their car.
Alarm clock cat. He’s scary accurate. He’ll wake you up at the exact same time each morning. In fact, he has an entire morning routine. Ignore it and he will attack your feet.
He’s a rescue. As is sometimes common with rescues, Brahms has had some past trauma. Simply put, he’s a bit of a fixer-upper. Separation anxiety is the main focus with him. Having been abandoned and re-homed more than is fair, Brahms will constantly fear being ripped away from your side.
Freddy Krueger
Teacher of bad habits. Scratching at the door to get out? Check. Taking a prolonged moment to do a full body stretch–just so the human has to wait longer? Check. Starting fights? Check.
Inspires concern amongst your friends. “(Y/N), are you okay?” *Looks down at your arm which is covered in scratches* It’s just Freddy. This will lead to a lecture on the merits of a nice dog.
Gifted at scaring you when least expected. Walking by a hedge at the side of your house? *Bursts from the foliage* Cue your scream as he darts past you, chasing his prey. Walking upstairs? *Tears up the stairs, nearly toppling you in the process* He has incredible camouflaging skills. You’re always startled by him.
BONUS:
How they act on catnip…
Jason Voorhees: Obsessively scratches the scratch pad. Must get all the catnip from each nook and cranny. Sneezes a lot, but is otherwise undeterred. He will attack plants for being too ‘plant-y’.
Michael Myers: Terrifyingly fast, his swipes are a blur. An ambush predator, the true terror begins when he disappears. Oh God, what have you done? Where did he go? No! Don’t go into the living room, you fool! He’s just waiting to attack. There will be no warning. One moment, you’re safe, the next… *Latches on with razor-sharp claws* Nom-nom-nom, surrender to your doom!
Thomas Hewitt: Rollie-pollie, rollie-pollie. Rolls to one side…and then back to the other. His eyes are squinted to emphasize his state of zen. Wait, is that a squeaky mouse? *Turns head, freezes with belly up* OMG IT IS SQUEAKY MOUSE!!! He’ll tear across the room, running into things and wiping out on the scratch pad.
Brahms Heelshire: Pounce. Pounce, pounce. Leap in fear! *Sprints away* His eyes are 110% dilated, whiskers on end, tail puffed to maximum fluff-i-tude. He will aggressively bat at any and all objects. A shadow? ATTACK!
Freddy Krueger: Death to all humans! Mwaahaha! When he’s on catnip, the whole house knows it. Chairs? Couches? Do you want to lose a foot? Your best course of action is to barricade yourself in your room. If you hear scratches at your door, ignore it–you’re better than that. Don’t fall for his tricks.
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