youweregoodtomexx

[youweregoodtomexx]

to my ex best friend,

i don’t remember exactly when we stopped being friends, but i remember how much it hurt watching you choose other people over me. there wasn’t an exact moment where our friendship was over, it was more of a gradual drifting apart that turned into us becoming strangers. i’m not going to lie and say that i was fine when i realized we most likely weren’t going to be best friends for forever. it killed me. i spent countless nights wishing i could be better and wondering why i wasn’t good enough.

i’m going to be honest with you; you really hurt me, wether you meant it or not, it took years before i could finally say that i’m okay after everything that happened. a part of me wished we had some sort of fight that ended things, but that’s just not the way the world works, is it? as the texts to hang out became less frequent and the snapchat stories of you with another mutual friend became consistent, i knew our friendship was ending.

what really hurt the most though was when one day over the summer some four years ago the mutual friend invited us both to her house to swim in her pool. an hour before i was supposed to go over, i saw you on her story already at her house. i realized that i wasn’t as important to both of you as i thought i was. when i got there, her mom thought i knew how to get to the back yard through the basement when, in fact, i didn’t. it only added to my embarrassment and realization. i know it might sound petty that i still remember that, but it was really traumatic for me to lose someone who i thought would be in my life for a long, long, time.

however, i am not the person i once was when i was still hurting from you. i am no longer missing you or our friendship because i found my people, just like, i hope, you found yours. i truly wish you the best in life. while we may not be friends anymore, i’ll always remember the good times we had and how you helped shaped my childhood into a great one.

just let me ask you this: was it the typical growing apart that ended our friendship, or was it that you didn’t want to be friends anymore but didn’t have the heart to tell me?

best wishes,

your ex best friend

#ex best friend #ex bestie #friend #friendship #feels #hurt #healing #feelings #toxic #toxic friends #ex freind #ex friends

[youweregoodtomexx]

to him,

i can’t believe i forgot how easy it was talking to you. it was like we never stopped once we started. i realized we don’t need to change anything about our relationship because what we have right now just works. you genuinely care about me and have the best intentions for me as i do you. i feel so thankful that someone like you came into my life and even though we might never have a romantic relationship, that’s ok because we have everything i need right now. maybe things will change in the future but that’s not now. maybe you were put into my life to show me that it’s okay to open up to people again and to trust. or maybe it was just pure luck that all the events that led to us first getting close happened. i don’t think i will ever be able to express how much you mean to me. i love you (in a platonic way of course).

love,

you know who

#him #friend #friendship #to him #tohim #love #i love you #iloveyou #boy #feels #feelings

[youweregoodtomexx]

to the boy i loved,

just know when we started talking two and a half years ago, i didn’t mean to catch feelings for you. i didn’t mean to start fantasizing about what it’d be like to be in a relationship with you. i know that when i told you i had feelings for you it was clear that you didn’t feel the same way, and that broke my heart. maybe i was reading too much into things, but i swear i thought you’d feel something. maybe it was for the best though that we didn’t end up together. something i didn’t realize until after all this died down was that i fell in love with you. i just thought that i had very intense feelings, but i know now that what i felt was love.

i still remember the endless summer nights we’d spend talking about any thing and everything; from our ideal dates to how many kids we wanted to what our favorite color is. we could tell each other anything because we were that close. you even told me things that you didn’t tell your girlfriend at the time. it hurt to see someone i grew so close with start to become distant, so that’s why i tried to keep our conversations going. i knew i should have just left it the first year when we stopped talking but i missed you too much.

it’s funny how we said we’d be friends until after high school, but by the end of sophomore year we were barley talking. it’s also funny how you said losing our friendship is a big fear you have yet you didn’t do much to keep that relationship strong. i put in my work, but you didn’t. i still miss you though. more often than not i find myself still thinking about what it would be like to date you. but i’m done being hung up on you. i’ll always be here for you because that’s the kind of person i am. and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t secretly hoping we’d meet again sometime in the future and it could work out between us, or maybe we’d have a cliché moment where after graduation we’d meet eye to eye, walk towards each other, and just kiss.

this is goodbye for now though. i’ll always remember how much you impacted my life and made me so happy. i truly hope you’ll be happy, whether it’s with me, or another.

love,

the girl who loved you

#youweregoodtome #you were good to me #boyfriend #girlfriend #relationship #relationships #heartbreak #love #i love you #iloveyou #to the boy i loved #totheboyiloved #midnight thoughts #midnightthoughts #sad #crush #crushing #friend #friends #friendship #loosing friends #loosing a friend

[youweregoodtomexx]

You don't need to be perfect to be loved

[youweregoodtomexx]

I am truly thankful for my friends. The people you surround yourself with make a difference in how you precieve the world. I used to have friends who were toxic; they'd always leave me out of all of thier plans, they would lie to me right to my face, they would make fun of me and my other friends, etc. They took a lot out of me and for the longest time I had blamed myself for not being "good enough" for them. I would wonder what I did wrong for them to leave. But the truth is, it's not my fault. And if you're going through the same thing, it's not your fault either. It's been a long process of healing and learning how to love myself again. I'm still not there 100% and it's going to take some more time, but I know I'm going to get there eventually.

#friends #friendship #bestfriend #toxic #toxic relationship #toxic relationships #friendships #friend #self love #self healing #self improvement

[youweregoodtomexx]

I've been hurt so many times in my life by people who I thought were my friends that now I'm scared to open up to people because I don't know if they're going to stay in my life. I'm mad at myself for letting myself be friends with peole who were so toxic and treated me like shit. I should've realized the only reason I was "friends" with them is because they were using me just to get homework ansewers. I feel like I still can't accept the friends that i have now because I'm scared they're going to leave too, and I don't think I'd be able to handle losing another best friend. That's also something else, I have a love hate relationship with the term "best friend". Every person I've called a "best friend" has left, except for the person who I consider my "best friend" currently. I'm scared that they'll find someone better than me and leave. I know I'm not perfect, but at least i'm loyal as hell. I guess I'm just tired of letting people in and seeing the real me when they just leave and take all my secrets with them.

#sad #bestfriend #friend #friendship #loosing friends #loosing a friend

[youweregoodtomexx]

you know i still think about you. i could’ve sworn you were looking at me as we passed each other on our way to fourth period. a part of me still misses you, and i think i always will. you became such a constant in my life, then you just left, or i pushed you away. i don’t know. we were never really good at communicating. i wish we can go back to what we used to be.

#you were good to me #youweregoodtome #sad #him

[youweregoodtomexx]

to my best friend

i just want to say thank you. for everything. i never thought i’d meet someone who i can trust and be fully open to. i’d never thought i’d find a friend who actually cares. too many times have i called someone my “best friend” when they’d always end up leaving me. i can’t put into words how great full i am to have found someone like you. you always support me and help me out. you stayed when everyone else left. i love you so much.

#tomybestfriend #tomybeftfriendpt1 #bestfriend #i love you #to my best friend #to my best friend pt 1 #thankyou #thank you