clintbartonswife

[clintbartonswife]

i loved you like the sun

Pairings: remus lupin/sirius black Summary: remus centric fic on his history, reunification and future with sirius. Whumptober prompt #27 : scars / 'let me see' Whumptober prompt #30 : borrowed clothing Notes: descriptions of malnutrition and body mutilation (hello lycanthropy!), post-POA masterlist   || whumptober2023 || part two (coming soon)

Remus' heart clenched as he traced the ink lines of the marauder's map. If he closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of the parchment in his hands, he could almost hear James' laugh, Peter asking what was so funny as Sirius whispered sweet nothings in his ear -

He broke that line of thought with a scoff, rubbing his hands over his face. He had run out of tears long ago, instead left with a deep well of bitterness. The best part of his life had been shattered in one night. His best friends murdered, childhood stolen and love of his life arrested as their killer.

Remus had never believed he deserved good things. The marauders had taught him otherwise, surrounding him with blind acceptance and joy. Just as he finally started to believe in his worth, it had all come crumbling down. He was left alone, the way he always knew he was going to be.

Nothing lasts forever.

Movement in the grounds caught his eye. That was unusual, especially considering the late hour and school-wide curfew. Frowning, he took a closer look, blood running cold.

Without a second thought, he tugged on his coat and began running.

The whomping willow whipped around in a frenzy, freezing as Remus hit the notch with an immobulus charm. His feet followed the path that he had walked for years, remembering every dip and turn.

His legs weakened as he raced up the steps in the shack, heart threatening to beat out of his chest. He could hear voices faintly through the door, paying them no mind as he crashed into the room.

"Professor Lupin!"

The exclamations from the children flew over his head, eyes set on the crumpled man on the floor.

He was practically wasted away, swamped by black rags that made his pale skin look practically translucent. Even from his place in the doorway Remus could see his veins, entwining with each other like vines under his skin.

Sirius finally turned to him, connecting their eyes. Years of hate, regret, love and pain rushed back through him, overwhelming in their intensity. In that moment, staring into his storm-grey eyes, he knew: Sirius was innocent.

The urge to kiss him was overwhelming, but it was neither the time nor the place. Instead, he spoke.

"Looking a bit ragged, aren't we, Sirius? Finally the skin reflects the madness within."

Sirius' face, which had before looked frightened, lit up with a toothy grin. "You'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, Remus?"

Relief spread through him, stepping forwards and helping Sirius to his feet. He hesitated once more, before pulling him into an embrace.

The smaller man melted in to him, body sharp and frail. Remus' heart swelled, cheek against Sirius' temple as breathed words escaped him, "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you."

If only for a moment, everything was okay.

Of course, nothing in Remus' life could stay normal for long. Snape came storming in, Pettigrew escaped, his secret was revealed and Sirius was sentenced to death. He was left to once again pick up the pieces, hiding his grief from those around him.

------

He retreated; resigning from his position at Hogwarts and running away from society once more.

His cottage was his solace, surrounded by thick woods with a boundary enchanted to contain his movements during the full moon. The building was small but cosy, books lining practically every wall.

He had inherited it from his grandfather on his mother's side, located just outside of Powys in Wales. It was the perfect escape, granted to him at the height of the war.

He sighed, tugging on his jumper as he limped towards the kitchenette, fresh scars throbbing with a vengeance. Some sick part of him was glad for the pain, deigning it a punishment for letting the kids down, for letting Sirius down.

A knock on the door resounded through the cottage, Remus flinching at the sudden noise. His fist clenched around the wand in his pocket, instantly on guard.

The knock sounded again, this time followed by a voice.

"Moony, open the door I'm freezing my balls off out here."

His breath caught in his chest, rushing across the room and swinging the door wide open.

Sirius offered a sheepish smile, eyes tired. "Surprise?"

Remus' blinked. "You're here - how... how are you here?"

"Dumbledore may have mentioned a certain hidden cottage that you owned - hope you don't mind but I have brought company."

Remus finally tore his eyes from Sirius, registering the hippogriff lying on the grass behind him. "Uhh -"

"That's Buckbeak. She's a friend."

"Right. Does she... need anything?"

"Nah she's a tough girl - we're both outlaws. Running from the ministry... y'know. Tough stuff."

Remus felt a smile tugging at his lips, "Sounds very... dashing."

"What can I say. Once a rebel, always a rebel. If Minnie could see me now -"

"She still wouldn't agree to dance with you, that's for sure."

Sirius opened his mouth in mock-horror. "Now that's just low."

"Sorry, sorry." Shaking his head fondly, Remus stepped aside, gesturing for the shorter man to come into the cottage. "Welcome to my home."

He took in his surroundings, expression unreadable as the door closed firmly behind him. After what seemed like an age, a smile cracked across his face.

"It's very you."

Remus let out a laugh, "Oh really?"

"I mean - come on, Moony. It's a bookstore in here! And you got your cobblestone fireplace... it's just like..." Sirius cleared his throat, smile dropping slightly, "Like the home we talked about."

Remus dipped his head, cheeks pinkening. "It's not as big as you wanted... or near London. I tried to make the kitchen the way you wanted, but I -"

"You remember."

"So do you."

"Memories. They were all that kept me going."

Remus reached out slowly, allowing Sirius the time to move away if he wanted to. He didn't. Hand slightly trembling, he entwined their fingers, thumb rubbing over Sirius' cold hand.

The apology sat on the tip of his tongue, though he found himself unable to speak. Sirius seemed to understand, lightly squeezing his hand in response.

"So," he said, attempting to lighten the mood, "I don't know about you, but I'm sick of these robes - got anything I can borrow?"

Snapping out of it, Remus finally met his eyes, "Of course. You can have your pick. I doubt you'd be here for more than a day without stealing all my jumpers anyway."

Sirius grinned, walking deeper into the house, "They look better on me."

"Yes they do." Remus breathed, before raising his voice. "The bedroom's other way!"

"I knew that!"

-----

The two of them fell into a routine, comfortable enough, but the tension of unspoken words still hung heavily in the space between them.

Sirius was slowly getting better, regaining more and more of his old spark every day. There were still times when he would get very quiet, sitting in the corner of the front room and staring out of the window, eyes glazed over with memories. Remus would simply brew him a cup of tea, setting it down on the table beside him and gently coaxing him back to the real world with careful touches and hesitant smiles.

He would return the favour by helping Remus on the days when his joints were agitated, brewing simple drafts to help with the pain.

Some nights, when Sirius woke up in a cold sweat, he would curl up at the end of Remus' bed in his dog form. It didn't take long for this to become the norm, the sofa-bed disassembled and Sirius' few items moved into the spare drawers in the bedroom.

It didn't take long for Sirius to catch him half-dressed, eyes silently tracking the new array of scars that covered his torso.

"Let me see." He had said, voice hoarse.

Remus simply let his arms fall to his sides, closing his eyes as hesitant fingers traced over irritated skin.

The moment was suffocatingly intimate, an echo of nights long gone by. It was over far too soon, Sirius letting out an unhappy noise and retreating, transforming into Padfoot and waiting for Remus to get into bed.

"They're just scars," Remus had murmured, blinking sleepily as he finally tugged his tshirt over his head. "Nothing new."

Padfoot huffed.

-----

Writing letters to Harry seemed to help. Sirius would light up every time he received a response, reading them aloud with glee, feet resting on Remus' lap. If he tried hard enough, as he listened he could imagine that everything was normal. That Harry was writing from his bedroom in Godric's Hollow, asking when Uncle Pads and Moony were next visiting as James and Lily laughed downstairs.

The dream always quickly dissipated, replaced with the ever-present weight in his chest.

"I'm glad he's doing okay," Remus said, "Well... as well as you can be when staying with the Dursley's."

"Right?" Sirius exploded, "Petunia was always walking around as if she owned the Earth."

"Her husband's not any better. Do you remember that summer when we helped Lily move out of her parent's house and he called James a slur?"

"I would've punched him if Lily hadn't got to him first." Sirius paused for a moment, shaking his head as the anger built within him. "Miserable bastards didn't even come to their wedding, why the fuck were they given Harry?"

Remus felt a hot poker of shame shoved down his throat. "They wouldn't - You were his godfather, so I thought.. but I was ruled unable to take care of him."

"Rem -"

Shoulders hunching, he wiggled out from underneath Sirius' legs, retreating to the kitchen. The other man followed him.

"Everyone was either dead or gone. Mary... she wanted to be left alone, and I was too tired to even fight their decision. They - they made valid points."

"Moony -"

"They said I was a danger to him."

"You would never hurt Harry -"

"But I almost did! If you weren't there that night, I could've killed them."

Sirius grabbed Remus by the chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "You are not the wolf. You are Remus. My Remus. One of the most loving, caring people I've ever known. A good man."

His next words were all but punched out of him. "Time changes everything."

Sirius' face hardened. "Not us. Not in any way that matters."

Remus let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, and desperately searched the stormy eyes in front of him. "Do you mean that?"

"Yes."

Remus stepped closer to Sirius, hands coming to rest on his hips and thumbs hooking through his belt hoops. "Are you sure?"

Sirius' next response was breathier, his eyes focusing on Remus' lips with the desperation of a parched man staring into a stream. "Yes."

Permission granted, Remus leant in, lips slotting together like puzzle pieces. It felt like coming home, time apart meaningless as their bodies fell back in to the ease of melding together. Sirius' hands moved up into the taller man's hair, pulling a pleased groan from him as their bodies pressed together.

Sirius broke away from the embrace, resting his forehead against Remus' chest as tears wetted the grey t-shirt. The taller man instantly moved to calm him, stroking through his hair as he murmured reassuring words against the soft flesh of his temple.

"I missed you so much."

The whisper was almost unheard, a mournful admission spoken from the heart. All Remus could do was hold him tighter, as if he could protect him from the horrors of the world, and reassure him over and over again that no matter what happened he would never leave his side again.

The problem with promises of that magnitude is that they are incredibly hard to keep.

#whumptober 2023 #sirius black x remus lupin #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #whump #fanfiction #spot the httyd reference lmao #fluff #domestic wolfstar #padfoot #moony

[clintbartonswife]

i achoo you

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wade Wilson Summary: Peter is sick and Wade is smitten. Whumptober prompt #26 : working to exhaustion / 'you look awful' Notes: i love this pairing so much ill cry. (also, peter is mid 20s) masterlist   || whumptober2023

"I'm totally 100% definitely dying."

Peter stretched out on the couch, sniffling woefully. His phone was pressed against his left cheek, sticky with sweat.

"Is it that even possible?"

"Yes. Yes it is. And I've got two college essays due in this wee-ee- ACHOO"

Matt let out a laugh, "You know spiders cant actually sneeze?"

"Lucky for the-em- ACHOO"

"This is pathetic, even for you."

"Wow, thanks Red. This is the last time I ever call you for advice."

"Yet you'll call me next week over a stubbed toe no doubt."

Peter could practically hear the eye roll in his voice, frowning as shivers once again decided to wrack his body.

"I dont have any other semi-responsible friends that I can talk to, and I - I dont want to bother May -"

"Dont make me feel sorry for you, or I'll really regret sending the backup."

Peter groaned, "Oh god, who?"

"Blasphemy - and he should be arriving any time now. Foggy's just arriving at the office so I've got to go. Drink lots of water, okay?"

Matt hung up before he could answer, a knock at the door occurring seconds later.

"It's op-ehh-eehhh-ACHOO"

"Say it, don't spray it baby boy!"

Peter groaned again, louder this time, and threw his arm across his eyes. "Why you?"

"That's not a nice way to greet someone bringing you soup!"

Peter made a pathetic noise, halfway between a sniffle and a cough, moving his arm so he could sneak a peek at the merc as he made himself at home in the kitchen.

"That's a pathetic excuse for an apology, but I'm willing to accept it due to your pretty face." Wade was humming quietly to himself as he rummaged around in the cupboard, taking out a bowl with flair and transferring the soup in to it in one smooth motion.

"That wa-aa-as -" Peter paused a moment, waiting to see if the sneeze was about to escape him, continuing as the urge dissipated, "was the most elegant thing I've ever seen you do."

"I dont fuck around with my food," He replied, walking towards the couch, "Unless it's in a sexy-I'm-going-to-lick-chocolate-off-your-body-way, which I'm totally down for any time."

"Charming." Peter rolled his eyes, fighting against his tired muscles and moving into an uneasy sitting position.

"Always for you, baby b- wow. Petey pie, you look awful."

Peter let out a hoarse laugh, accepting the soup with a sarcastic smile.

"Not holding back, huh?"

Wade collapsed backwards on to the ratty futon opposite the couch, throwing his feet up on the coffee table. After wiggling in to a comfortable position, he lifted his mask to just under his nose and popped a bright pink unicorn lollipop into his mouth. "So, how did the amazing spider-man come down with the common cold? I thought you were immune to shit like that."

Peter shrugged, gulping down the soup.

Wade looked around the room for a few moments, sucking loudly on the lollipop. "How about this for a theory: you worked your pretty little butt off, on your daily patrols, part time job and now... college?"

Peter paused his eating for a moment, "Bio-chem."

"Smart and sexy, the whole package!"

"How you find me sexy right now, I have no idea."

Wade slurped extra loudly on the lollipop, looking Peter up and down. "Those hello kitty pyjama pants look good on you. Plus I can't get sick."

"Is that so?"

"Scientifically proven, baby boy. My skins so fucked up because my cells are dying and reproducing every second. Ergo, can't get sick."

"That... proven how, exactly?"

"Trial and error." At Peter's questioning look, he smirked, "There's only so many times you can regrow the majority of your body and not realise that something's funky."

"Funky is one word fo-oor-ACHOOO."

Wade jumped up from his seat, running to his bag and pulling out a disney themed box of tissues. "I came prepared!"

"Princesses? Really?"

"Yes, and look there you are!" He replied, pointing at Cinderella.

"Okay... I'm going to need an explanation."

"She's broke, you're broke. Twins!"

Peter rolled his eyes, though accepted the tissues. Wade laughed, "I guess you're just lucky that I'm here, your knight in shining armour, offering to be your sugar daddy."

"Oh god - don't phrase it like that. I've been getting by on my own just fine, tha-ahhh-ahhh-"

"Bless you."

Peter glared at him. "You jinxed me."

Wade pouted, "Want me to kiss it better?"

At this, Peter threw the tissue box, successfully hitting him in between the eyes.

"Ow!"

Peter grumbled something under his breath, placing the empty soup bowl on the table and burying himself once more into the couch.

"I take back the Cinderella comparison. You're much more like Grumpy Peg-Leg Pete."

Wade laughed at the offended noise emanating from the sofa, finishing his lollipop with a satisfied sigh and jumping up from his seat. "Well, if my assistance is no longer needed..."

"Wait."

Wade grinned, holding his hand up to his ear mockingly, "Sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear you."

Peter huffed, sticking his head fully out of his blankets, enunciating his words clearly. "Don't leave... please."

Wade's grin widened, throwing himself on to the end of the couch, grabbing Peter's feet and placing them on his lap. "I knew you needed me Petey Pie."

"How did you know," the boy replied, sarcasm strong in his tone, "I want you, I need you, oh baby, baby."

The merc's smile didn't drop, relaxing into the chair as he began massaging one of the spider's feet. "Jokes on you, your sarcasm just turns me on more."

"You're insatiable."

"For you? Yes. I'm all the big words. Unquenchable, titillated, concupiscent." He gave a look off to the side, "Thanks for the tutoring Prodigy."

"You -" Peter tried to see what he was looking at, writing it off as one of Deadpool's quirks, "whatever. You missed a word though: persistent."

"How else am I going to get you to admit your deep and passionate love for me?"

Peter rolled his eyes, though didn't offer a rebuttal, instead allowing himself to melt into the pillows as Wade's fingers methodically worked out all the tension in his feet. He let out a sigh, arm thrown over his eyes once again as he willed for the grogginess to leave.

"What's troubling you, baby boy?"

"College essay is due in three days and I still haven't started it."

"Oh?"

"'S all about chemical bonding agents and I - aaaACHOO -" He paused, using his webs to grab the tissue box from across the room and blowing his nose with a pathetic lack of energy before continuing. "I just think that if I think too long about one thing I might die."

"And you can't get an extension?"

"No."

"What about if Bea and Arthur ask?"

"You're not going to threaten my professor with your katanas."

Wade sighed dramatically, but let the issue drop. Now bored, he began to tap out the tune of Grace Kelly on Peter's legs, humming quietly under his breath.

In that moment, the weird domesticity of the scene hit the student, peaking out from under his arm to watch Wade. It felt comfortable, safe in a way that he hadn't felt since developing his powers. He felt cared for. Loved.

Eyes flaring slightly, he pushed that thought away.

"Thank you, 'Pool."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For coming to look after me."

"Anything to spend time with you and your tight little ass, Petey!"

He snorted, rolling his eyes fondly at the intentional lewdness, gently kicking his chest with his foot. "I mean it."

Wade pressed both hands to his cheeks, shoulders raising as he let out a squeal. "Oh em gee, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"This is what I get for trying to be serious -"

To Peter's surprise, Wade paused for a moment. When he next spoke, it was with a certain genuineness that he rarely heard from the merc. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. There's nothing to thank."

Breath caught in his chest, Peter allowed himself to sit up, looking at Wade with new eyes. Without even realising it, his hands had moved to lie on the edges of the mask, waiting for an answer.

"Webs -"

He could feel Wade's breath brush along his palms, finally removing the mask as the merc let out a hesitant nod.

Wade's eyes were blue, deep and endlessly curious.

Mask laid to the side, Peter's eyes rushed to drink in every detail of the man's face, fingers moving across the textured surface with barely restrained admiration.

"I think you're my favourite person."

The confession escaped him, surprising even him with the certainty behind the words.

Wade's eyes sparkle when they smile.

"You're going to make me blush, baby boy."

His eyes flickered to his lips.

"Did you mean what you said... about not caring that I'm sick?"

Wade's eyes widened, wordlessly nodding.

"Good."

Their lips clashed together with unbridled passion, Peter pushing away any doubt he held on to and clinging on to Wade's deceptively strong arms for balance.

The merc met him eagerly, gleeful as he buried his hands into the boy's hair, gripping just hard enough to send a shiver down Peter's spine. At his reaction, Wade smiled, nipping at his lower lip in order to pull another delicious response from him.

The spider had to pull away first, cheeks blazing and chest heaving.

Wade moved one hand down from his hair to cup his cheek, thumb caressing the smooth skin as his eyes searched for any sign of regret. "Webs..."

"I think - I think I lo-oo-ACHOO." He quickly turned away, sneezing into his shoulder.

Wade roared with laughter, offering a tissue as Peter's blush deepened.

"I achoo you too."

#whumptober 2023 #marvel #whumptober #peter parker fic #peter parker #wade wilson #peter parker x wade wilson #spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #team red #marvel fluff #fluff #whump and fluff #whump #spiderman whump

[clintbartonswife]

words that shatter

Pairings: remus lupin / sirius black Summary: drunk words are a sober mans truths. Whumptober prompt #19 : psychological Notes: consequences of internalised homophobia/transphobia masterlist   || whumptober2023

Remus froze in place as Sirius' hand cupped his cheek, thumb gently caressing the scar that sliced across his eye and carried on to his jaw.

He was drunk, firewhisky heavy on his breath.

"Sirius -"

They were in the dorm room, celebrations for the quidditch win still raging downstairs. Remus wasn't feeling the best, the full moon only two days away, so had managed to sneak away without much fuss. That was until Sirius had barged into the room, settling himself on the mattress beside him.

"You're so pretty."

Remus' breath caught, hope rushing through him. "What?"

Sirius' eyes were glazed over, drinking in every detail of his scarred face as if it was the last time. They finally rested on his lips, slightly cracked with the cold.

"I wish ..."

Remus' eyes searched the younger boy's face desperately, trying to understand what was happening. He couldn't mess this up. He wouldn't.

"What do you wish, Pads?"

It came out as a whisper, almost as if he was scared that any loud or sudden noise would scare him away - break the fragile serenity of the moment.

"I wish you were a girl."

Remus never knew it could be possible for a heart to break so suddenly. To shatter in response to such careless and harsh words.

He had always had to fight to love himself, his body riddled in scars that fuelled him with shame. There were only two scars amongst those that he cherished, symmetrical and precise on his chest.

No matter how much he ached to be near Sirius, to have him, to love him, he would not sacrifice the self love he had fought so hard to acheive.

"Get out."

The words came out choked but strong, batting Sirius' hand away from his face and pushing him off the bed.

Sirius blinked heavily at the sudden change, "I dont -"

"Get. Out."

"I - I thought you -"

"Well you obviously thought wrong." He swallowed down a sob, slipping further under the bedsheets and turning away from the door. "Just - go back to the party. Leave me alone."

"Moony -"

"I'm sure there's plenty of girls down there for you to kiss."

Silence fell, broken a few moments later by footsteps retreating to the door. Once Remus was finally alone, the tears began to fall.

#whumptober 2023 #whumptober #remus lupin #sirius black x remus lupin #sirius black #trans remus lupin #miscommunication #angst #marauders era #wolfstar

[clintbartonswife]

remote

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader Summary: You’d think that surviving a near-death experience together would have a bonding effect, but I guess you thought wrong.  Whumptober prompt # 5 : debris Whumptober prompt # 10 : stranded  Whumptober prompt #15 : makeshift bandages / suppressed suffering / 'im fine' Notes:  graphic descriptions of injuries, excessive swearing (give them a break, they’re stranded), some suggestive comments/language, enemies to lovers (oop) masterlist   ||   part one

You swore under your breath as you walked, stumbling every now and then as your feet dragged against the uneven floor, cursing every power you could think of. By the time you had reached the shore, you had done everything short of screaming ‘why abandon me with him?’ to the sky. 

Some stubborn part of you wanted to find a way to stay away from Steve, set up your own camp and tell him to fuck off when he came crawling back for help. Realistically, you knew that he had all the supplies with him and that you wouldn’t survive too long with a still-open wound, but the fantasy made you slightly happier.

Your attention focused on the palm trees providing slithers of shade, a few coconuts scattered across the sand.

“Take that, you prick.” you muttered with a grin, “Not so useless, huh.”

Kneeling down, you reached to pick one up, flinching as your arm throbbed. The makeshift bandage had done its’ job admirably, but the fabric had turned heavy, ruddy brown crust clinging to the sides.

“Okay, ew.” Wincing, you started to unravel the bandage, hissing as it pulled at the sore broken skin. 

You thought about going back for help, quickly dismissing it. You didn't want to appear weak. The desperate part of your brain started searching for another way - stomach dropping as it screeched to an all-or-nothing conclusion: cauterisation. 

“Fuck it all to hell.”

Using the fallen branches from the palm trees, you created a pile of kindling, using your survival training - you’d apologise for whining about it to Clint later - to start a flame. As the fire grew, you walked back over to the stream.

Gritting your teeth, you knelt down, splashing some of the clear water on the wound. As the red washed down your arm, you scanned the shore for any sort of metal, quickly finding a piece of the quinjet that had washed ashore from the wreckage.

You now stood over the roaring fire, holding a broken off segment of the quinjet wing in the flames. As the end began to glow a fierce orange, you took a steadying breath.

There was no avoiding the fact that this was going to hurt like a bitch.

“Just do it,” you huffed, trying to hype yourself up with a few jumps. “Just press it on. It’s not that hard. It’s fine!”

You took a few more quick breaths, placing a stick in your mouth and clenching your eyes shut as you pushed the hot part on to the open wound. Your muffled screams and shouts did nothing to abate the pain, spitting out the stick to facilitate for the torrent of swearing that came out of your mouth. 

The smell of cooking flesh made you gag, throwing the metal into the sand and racing back over to the river, submerging your arm in the cool water as quickly as humanly possible. 

“That was so much worse than I could’ve thought” you groaned, spare hand curling into a fist as you willed yourself to stay conscious. Passing out was not going to help your case with Steve. 

You stayed there until the pain dulled, moving to sit in front of the fire to dry off. Knowing that it needs to be covered, you ripped off another line from your t-shirt, wrapping it around the wound once it had sufficiently dried off.

//

The sun began to dip, shadows elongating along the beach, signalling that you needed to get back to Steve before it was too dark to see. You put out the fire, grabbing a few of the coconuts and following the stream back to the clearing. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” He asked, eyes narrowed as you re-entered the clearing.

“Well, don’t jump up to help. For someone pretending to care you didn’t exactly go looking, did you?” 

He scoffed, “Was that some pathetic attempt to get my attention?”

Eyebrows flying upwards, you dropped the coconuts to your feet and threw your arms out. “Newsflash, asshole! We’re stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere! I don’t need to beg for your attention because I’m the only motherfucker unfortunate enough to be stuck here with you!”

“Not so loud -”

“No! I can shout as much as I want because there’s no one here! I’m sorry if you had much rather I drowned in the ocean, but I didn’t. You were the idiot who saved me, so I’m sorry if I’m inconveniencing you by being here, but that is entirely your fault.”

“Shut up!”

You rolled your eyes, huffing angrily as you crossed your arms. “For your information, Captain, I was out finding food. Which is more than I can say for you.”

Steve’s eyebrow twitched at the elongated nickname, shoulders tensing. “I made a fire.”

You clapped, slowly and sarcastically. “Wow. My hero.”

“Don’t sit by it then. Freeze for all I care.”

“If that’s how you wanna play it, fine. Don’t even think of touching my coconuts.”

You closed the gap between the two of you, swiping the pocket knife from the pile and retreating to a corner.

“Last thing on my mind.”

Silence settled over the two of you as the sun finally set, uncomfortable and cold, broken only by the occasional crackle of the fire and the noise of knife on wood.

You were whittling a stick to a point, needing it to crack open the coconut shell. There was something satisfyingly cathartic about the repetitive moments, soothing the anger that had filled you. Without it acting as a distraction, you were suddenly very aware of the hunger and thirst that you were feeling.

Tongue sticking out the side of your mouth slightly, you brought the coconut down onto the sharp point, hissing as the jolted movement caused pain to flash through your arm. Swearing under your breath, you hugged the injured arm to your chest, attempting to hold the coconut in one hand.

You struggled to grip it for a few moments, Steve letting out an aggravated sigh from across the clearing, stomping over. Before you could register what was happening, he grabbed the coconut out of your hands and ripped it open. Some coconut water splashed to the ground, Steve managing to save the majority of it.

“Watching that was pathetic.” He sneered, handing you the two halves.

Your jaw ticked, withholding angry words at his attitude, instead settling for a blunt thank you.

You placed one half on the floor, careful not to spill any further water, bringing the other half up to your lips. Your eyes closed in relief as the cool liquid soothed your throat, swapping it out for the other and repeating your actions.

As you opened your eyes, you saw Steve staring at you thirstily, eyes tracking a droplet of water that had fallen from your lips and was slowly making its way down the curve of your neck. The droplet eventually absorbed into your shirt, Steve ripping his eyes away and focusing intently on the fire.

The back of your neck felt hot as you used the penknife to cut into the flesh of the coconut, eating the meat methodically. After a while, you could feel his eyes return to you.

Desperate to avert the heat of his stare, you grabbed one of the unopened coconuts and threw it at him. He caught it easily, eyebrow raised in question.

“Payment,” you stated, “for opening the other one for me.”

He hummed, leaning back slightly and cracking it open above his mouth to avoid any spilled water. You couldn’t help but stare as he licked his lips clean, diverting your attention back to your own coconut as he straightened his back.

A shiver punched through you - whether it was from the sudden tension or the dropping temperature, you weren’t entirely sure.

“You can...” he trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly, voice harder the next time he spoke. “There’s no point freezing to death. I don’t want to deal with the paperwork if you die on me out here.”

“Gee, thanks.” 

Your sarcastic drawl was hard to miss, but you moved closer, letting out a small sigh of relief at the warmth emanating from the flames.

The silence settled once again, feeling significantly less hostile than just minutes before. You hugged your legs to your chest, resting your chin on your knees.

“Do you think... will they be looking for us?”

You internally winced at the vulnerability in your words, refusing to look up at Steve for comfort. 

“The quinjet sends a honing signal when it takes damage. It’s been... roughly six hours.” He moved, adding another few sticks to the fire. “The rescue team should reach our general area by tomorrow - then they’ll just need to scan the islands.”

You finally looked up, connecting your eyes to his. “So tomorrow we should be home?”

“Tomorrow we should be home.”

You nodded, flashing him a small smile and shuffling slightly closer to the fire.

Now fully bathed in the light of the flames, Steve’s eyes narrowed, locked on to your arm. “Your - the blood is gone.”

You shrugged, “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

He crowded towards you, grabbing your injured arm. “What did you do?”

You tried to pull your arm away from him, “I sorted it out.”

He began to unwrap the makeshift bandage, eyes widening at the sight of the irritated warped skin. “When did you -”

“Steve, seriously.” You finally managed to rip your arm from his hands, “Leave it alone. What’s done is done.”

“Cauterising yourself - if it was that bad you should’ve come to me!”

“So what? So you could berate me some more? Call me an idiot and to get over myself?”

“If you were that hurt -”

“I knew I could fix it and I did. I stopped the bleeding, and I didn’t pass out, did I? I. Sorted. It. Out.”

“Are you insane?”

“No, actually, I’m not. Even despite your many attempts at making sure that I am!” 

“Y/n -”

“God, why do you hate me so much!” You shouted, “I am plenty capable to be part of this team - my records are shining, I can hold my own in a fight -”

“Listen to me -”

“I just cant understand what I have done to make you hate me so goddamn much! Everytime I think you might actually have a heart you turn around and just -”

He surged forwards, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You gasped despite yourself, hands latching on to his forearms in an attempt to ground yourself in the moment. His hands dug into your hair, pulling you impossibly closer.

You kissed until your lungs burned, begging for air.

As you pulled away, you dropped your forehead to rest on his heaving chest, scrambled brain trying to make sense of what just happened.

“I dont -”

He shushed you gently, using his index finger to lift your chin up, reconnecting your eyes. “I don’t think you’re incompetent. Seeing you in the field... it kills me. I - you make me crazy. I struggle to think of anything other than the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh - the curves of your body...”

“Steve -”

“You drive me insane. The only way I could think to handle it was to push you away. I - I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t come to me for help.”

You searched his eyes for any sign of a lie, only finding unwavering truth shining back at you. Slapping his chest, you frowned at him. “If you ever speak to me in that way again -”

“I won’t.”

You held the gaze for a few more moments before your eyes dropped down to his lips. Sensing the unasked question, he moved to reconnect your lips once more.

///

tags:  (lets just try to ignore how long ago the first part was posted lmao)

@joansiefics  @spookyparadisesheep  @vicmc624  @geeksareunique​ @patzammit​

#whump #whumptober #whumptober 2023 #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #x reader #captain america #enemies to lovers #steve rogers whump #steve rogers fic #marvel

[clintbartonswife]

rip off the band-aid

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wade Wilson Summary: wade carries patterned band-aids. peter is in love. Whumptober prompt #7 : alleyway / radio silence Notes: college!peter parker, descriptions of violence and injury, excessive bad language masterlist   || whumptober2023

Peter hissed as a stray bullet grazed his forearm, having successfully dodged the rest of the emptied magazine, the fabric of his suit tearing and allowing some of his blood to creep down his arm.

"Come on!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Okay, now you've annoyed me Mr. Robber. Do you know how hard it is for me to fix this thing?"

The bad guy seemed taken aback by the statement, hesitating as he reloaded. That was all the opportunity Peter needed, leaping forwards to deliver a punch square to his jaw, knocking him on his ass. As he scrambled to regain his footing, Peter webbed him to the spot.

"What the hell man, I've got places I need to be!"

"Shush - you tried to rob an old lady, you don't get to complain at me right now." He began backing out of the alleyway, only feeling slightly guilty at the robber's continued protests. Not too guilty though, he had shot him after all. "Stay there - the police will be here... soon. Like, within the hour definitely."

Extending his arm to release another web, he winced at the hot pain that radiated across his skin, willing his healing factor to kick in. Swinging back to his apartment was gonna suck.

Deciding to avoid that for as long as he could, he began to walk up the side of the building. Once at the top, he looked out over the row of flat roofs, smirking.

"Parkour" he whispered, beginning to run. As he leapt over the roofs, he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of freedom, wind rushing past him with a deafening roar.

He eventually made it to the last building, a large road separating this building from the next. Readying himself to swing, his ears picking up on pitchy singing coming from the building opposite.

"I know that voice..."

Already smiling, he swung up to the building, landing on the edge of the roof. Deadpool was facing away from him, bright pink headphones over his ears.

Under the mask, Peter raised an eyebrow, huffing a laugh as the merc continued his off-key singing, wiggling along to the beat. As he reached the chorus, he began to do the funky chicken, turning around slightly with each jump.

"P-p-p-poker face f-f-fuck her face, ca- OH god, webs!! Dont sneak up on me during my gaga time!"

Peter laughed at this, warm feeling in his chest. He had begun to associate the feeling with Wade. It was dangerous.

"Well maybe if you didnt have your volume up so high, you woulda heard me landing"

The mercenary gasped, placing a hand on his chest. "You don't listen to gaga on anything other than full volume, every monster knows that!"

"How many times do I have to tell you you're not a monster until you believe me?"

"Wh - Oh. You do care. As adorable as that is baby boy, I was using the fan name for all gaga stans."

"oh - right. I knew that."

Deadpool placed his hand on his forehead dramatically, "You make me feel old, Webs. You really do. Good thing you've got daddy issues or this would never work."

"Wade -!"

At this, the older man chuckled, moving closer to the spider. "I mean, really it's lucky that I -" He broke off, crowding closer to Peter. "Your arm -"

"'Tis but a flesh wound, it's really nothing, it's practically already healed-"

His voice gave out as gloves gently parted the rip in his suit, allowing Wade a better look. Peter could do nothing but watch with baited breath as the other man pulled out a small case from one of his many pockets, producing a hello kitty band-aid and carefully placing it on the cut. He then bent down to place a kiss on the area, the warm leather of his red mask against his skin sending chills up Peter's arm.

"There!" Wade grinned, seemingly unaware of the mental spiral he had sent Peter down, "All better!"

"Y- yeah. All better. Thanks, 'pool"

///

It had become a thing.

Wade seemed to have a never ending supply of band-aids in the pockets of his suit which he was always too happy to give out. At the end of patrols Peter usually had at least one band-aid stuck to him, even when it was very clear he didnt need it.

Just last night Wade had sent him home with 6 plasters on his back, themes ranging from paw patrol to spongebob. He hadnt noticed until he was getting changed, meaning that the merc had been putting them on him throughout the night without Peter realising.

He wasn't sure if that gap in his spidersense was something to be happy or concerned about.

He chose not to think about it instead.

Today, he was stood on the edge of the roof, waiting for Wade to come back with Chimichangas.

"Oi! Webhead!" Peter looked down, Wade holding up the takeout like a baby Simba at the base of the building. "Uppies?"

He snorted. "You're not a child, 'Pool."

"Don't make me take the stairs you cruel and beautiful bastard."

Peter rolled his eyes affectionately, making sure he was grounded with his footing before sending a web down to Wade and pulling him up. As he did so, Wade vocalised to the tune of 'When will my life begin' from Tangled.

"You're an idiot." Peter laughed, Wade placing the takeout safely on the edge of the roof before hauling himself up the rest of the way.

"I happen to be an idiot with food, so you might wanna rethink that attitude Petey Pie."

"You would starve me?"

Deadpool cocked his hip out defiantly. In response, Peter took his mask off and pouted.

"Ugh! No fair! You know I cant deny your cute little face of anything!"

Peter laughed, taking his share of the takeout with a cheer of success before sitting down cross-legged on the floor. "Pleasure doing business."

"Cold. Very cold." Wade chastised, though his smile was audible. With a hefty sigh, he joined Peter on the floor, pulling his mask up to his nose. "I grabbed you a fortune cookie on my way - I know you like those."

Peter blushed slightly, trying his best to hide his surprise. "Oh - thank you 'Pool."

He accepted the small package, ripping it open excitedly and letting out a small hiss as the plastic sliced into his finger.

"Nobody panic!" Wade yelled, dropping his burrito on to his lap and producing a plaster from his pocket in record time. "Daddy's got you covered!"

"Wade -"

"Shush." he chided, taking hold of his hand and applying the band-aid gently.

Peter rolled his eyes fondly, "Really? Isn't this a bit on the nose?"

"Branding is important for any self respecting merc-turned-hero. Plus, this way people know that if they hurt you I'll gut them with my katanas!"

"Hey! What have I said about the no killing thing?"

Wade dropped his head like a scolded schoolchild. "To not kill people. Which I will stick to... unless you are gravely injured."

"Is this your way of keeping me around?"

"Is it working?"

Peter just smiled, rubbing his thumb against the deadpool-themed band-aid before breaking open the fortune cookie.

'if we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives'

He swallowed heavily, glancing quickly up at Wade who was currently trying to fit as much as possible of his burrito in his mouth at once.

It would be so easy to say something right now - to, for the lack of a better phrase, rip off the band-aid.

Fear held him back, unable to even think of a world in which he didn't have Wade. Sure, the man made a lot of jokes about dating him, but they were never followed up in any way that would even suggest an inch of seriousness.

Peter refused to mess this up.

So instead he shoved the note down the neck of his suit, unwrapping his food and pushing his thoughts to the back of his head.

///

Over the next few months, Peter found himself thinking back to the fortune he had received. The note itself was pinned to his corkboard in his bedroom, meaning it was the first thing he saw every night as he left to and returned from his patrols.

Wade seemed blissfully unaware of the younger man's mental distress, still happily providing themed plasters for every little cut and scrape that he had gained during his endless hours protecting his city.

Peter made a mental note that the range in themes were steadily declining, the majority of them now boldly covered in deadpool's symbols. A small and slightly insane part of his brain convinced him that this was Wade's way of staking his claim, somehow akin to a wedding ring.

Today, he was on his way back from college, tracing his fingers over the band-aid on his forearm. The cut underneath it had been tiny, his enhanced healing definitely having erased it by now, but he couldn't bring himself to take it off.

"Help!"

Peter froze in his tracks, senses dialled to 11. The hairs on his arms rose as he kicked into gear, running to an empty alleyway and stripping his clothes as quickly as he could to reveal his suit, shoving them in his bag and exchanging them for his mask.

Between swings, he quickly typed out a message to deadpool for backup, the amount of police cars racing towards the area a good indicator of the level of threat he was about to face.

The sound of crumbling buildings heightened as he grew closer, sirens and screams building into a frantic cacophony, reaching its peak just as Peter arrived at the scene.

He took a moment to assess, sticking on to the side of a building as his eyes tracked through the chaos in search of the source. He figured it out pretty quickly.

What can only be described as a green goblin soared through the skies on top of a metal... thing, smashing buildings to pieces with his gloved hands.

With a deep breath, he leapt into action, using the momentum from his swing to hit the goblin square in the jaw.

"Queens is not your personal playground!" he yelled, sticking on to the side of a building as he gauged the situation, "Though I'm sure you'll love it in prison! Maybe we should go there now? Save me the trouble of dragging you there -"

He was cut off as a car was thrown in his direction, Peter preventing it from crashing into the building with some cleverly timed webs.

"Well. That was rude."

"No spider tells me what to do" The goblin spat, "You are all beneath me - imbeciles - and should be treated as such!"

At the end of his sentence, he once again launched a car, Peter dodging and catching it once again. "What do you have against cars, dude?"

The cars kept coming, Peter attempting to find a way to subdue the goblin man whilst still making sure that the cars didn't hit him or anyone still in the surrounding area.

He managed to send another SOS to Wade, nerves setting in as he saw the goblin down a glass of green liquid, the man's veins popping out as he let out a scream.

"You shall all fall at my feet!"

"Yeah... the average New Yorker is not into that. Not to kink shame or anything - I'm sure the people who do like it are really happy with their choices - that's the key! Consent and choices -"

His phone buzzed, distracting him for a moment, just long enough to miss the broken off piece of scaffolding flying towards him. It impacted his side, arm faltering mid swing.

He fell to the ground, swearing at the impact.

It took a few seconds before the pain began to register, blood running down his side like a macabre waterfall. Legs weakening, he retreated to the nearest alleyway, dipping behind a dumpster.

"Spiderman! Come out and face me you coward!"

Peter winced, the wound in his side bleeding more heavily than he was comfortable with, red liquid spilling on to the floor as he shifted his weight in an effort to better take cover behind the dumpster.

He could hear the echoing steps of the goblin approaching, but couldnt seem to find it in his muddled mind to move.

Where was Wade?

The footsteps halted at the entrance of the alleyway. Peter could hear the goblin's breathing, closing his eyes as he accepted his fate.

Instead of the pain he was sure was coming, the footsteps retreated, seemingly chasing after something. A few moments later, a cacophony of noise filled the area, followed by quiet.

"Webs?"

Relief rushed through him, Peter managing a weak shout. Wade rushed towards him, looking around for a few seconds before spotting his scrunched up figure.

Peter choked out a weak laugh, moving his hand to reveal the extent of the damage. "Think I could use some of your plasters around now, 'pool"

The merc was eerily quiet, unmoving as he looked at the injury.

"Fuck - 's that bad, huh?" Peter asked, coughing slightly as he curled back in on himself.

That seemed to break Deadpool from his stupor, the man kneeling at his side in an instant. "Fuck, baby boy - I - I dont know what to do."

Gloved hands hovered over his, before retracting back, Wade beginning to whack himself on the head. "How do I fix this. No - fuck, fuck, shitty fucking fuck!"

Peter frowned, fighting through the haze that had started to descend on him in order to pat Wade's shoulder comfortingly, "It's 'kay, I'm fine! See?" He moved his hand from his shoulder to his cheek and attempted a smile. "I'm okay."

"I don't - I don't know how to fix this, Webs. You need a doctor... I need -" He dug through his pockets, whipping out the bedazzled hello kitty flip-phone. "Matt knows a nurse - she's fixed him up before maybe -"

Peter blinked heavily, a high pitched ringing sound starting to deafen his hearing. Fear began to rise within him, sitting heavily on his chest. It was bad - that much he knew, if only from Wade's reaction.

'if we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives'

He nudged Wade's phone away from his ear, demanding his full attention. "I need you to know something."

"You can tell me when you're all better," Wade insisted, listing off their location to someone on the phone.

Peter frowned. "Wade. Please."

"I'm getting help, okay? Just let me get help -"

"I love you." Wade froze, hand tightening around the phone. At his lack of response, Peter continued. "I have loved you for months now. I love - I love your laugh, your smile... I love your voice. I love -"

He was interrupted by a cough, groaning as pain spread through his entire body, fresh blood splattered on his glove. Wade dropped the phone to the floor, applying pressure to his wound, panic clear in his voice.

"Peter -"

"I love your stupid band-aids. I love how they make me feel like I matter. Like you care -"

"I do care -"

"And if I die -"

"You're not going to die -"

"I need you to know how much you mean to me."

Wade's breath quickened, leaning over to yell 'hurry' into his phone. Peter's head felt light, the pain starting to feel more like weightlessness. Distantly, he noted that this was a bad thing.

Frowning, he pushed Wade's mask off, smiling as his eyes took in every crease and crevice of his face. He lifted his arm with great effort, faintly tracing over his cheekbone, down his jawline and finishing at his lips.

With his face bared, the spider could finally see the pure anguish worn on Wade's face.

"Don't be sad."

"Just - Stay with me Petey, you're going to be okay."

His eyes were so heavy, the lids closing against his will.

"I love you too!" Wade yelled, desperation seeping out of every pore. "Fucking goddamn to hell, I love you. Don't leave me -"

Peter couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, eyes fluttering as unconsciousness pulled him into oblivion.

"Over here! He's - help him!"

#whumptober 2023 #wade wilson #deadpool #peter parker #spiderman whump #spideypool #spideypool whump #spiderman #marvel #patrol partners to lovers #team red

[clintbartonswife]

it takes a village

Pairings: Peter Parker & irondad!Tony Stark Summary: tony gets a message from peter's kidnappers and makes a call. read part one first Whumptober prompt #6 : recording / 'it should've been me' Whumptober prompt #20 : 'you will regret touching them' Notes: brief descriptions of torture masterlist   || whumptober2023

"Sir, you have a message."

Tony wiped the sweat from his forehead, pushing his chair back and looking up to the roof of his lab. "Can it wait? I think I'm close to fixing the lagging issue in Rhodey's leg brace."

"You ignored their last message sir. This time they attached a video."

"FRIDAY, is that a yes or no?"

A few seconds passed as FRIDAY inspected the file, Tony stretching and wincing as his back made a loud cracking noise. DUM-E whirred at him with concern, going back to dusting when he shooed it away.

"No sir. It can't wait."

He sighed, twirling in his chair to face the nearest screen, grabbing his coffee from the table. "Put it up."

The mug fell to the floor, smashing and spilling the coffee all over the floor of the lab.

He was looking at Peter being thrown into a room, body limp and bruised. The angle suggested it was from a CCTV feed, though the resolution was surprisingly high. His heart dropped as the video skipped, showing the kid hammering at the door, yelling and screaming.

Tony couldn't tear his eyes away, tears gathering in his eyes as the video skipped forwards once more. Peter was curled in on himself in the corner of the room, rocking slightly back and forth in an attempt to self-soothe. Text popped up on the screen, stating that instructions would be sent in the next two hours.

As the screen switched to black he ran out of the room, grabbing the flip phone he had vowed to never use, dialling the only number saved on it.

"I need your help."

Tony paced across the tarmac, fiddling with the flip phone in his hands.

"They'll be here." Rhodey reassured, moving to place a hand on his shoulder, "Cap - Steve reached out first. He won't go back on his word."

Tony huffed, "I know it's just - they took the kid. I was so busy I didn't even think to -" He ran his hands across his face. "He's been there for three days already."

"We're going to get him."

Tony couldn't speak, settling instead for a tight nod.

His thoughts were stuck on the image of Peter. He was alone and afraid, curled up in the corner with bruised hands hugged in to his chest.

"How did May -"

"She's with Pepper now, at the tower."

"Pepper?"

Tony let out a self deprecating laugh. "No matter how she feels about me right now, she loves the kid almost as much as I do. May needs someone with her so..."

Rhodey just hummed, stepping back at the noise of an approaching quinjet. "We'll get him back. We just... need to get through this first."

Tony nodded, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to shake off some of the anxiety that threatened to choke him. Any dread that he had been feeling over this reunion was nothing compared to the last 8 hours, and with it came hope.

Hope was a dangerous thing, but goddamn did he need all he could get.

--

Tony cleared his throat, doing his best to appear put-together. It failed, horrifically, but he hoped that they wouldnt be cruel enough to point it out.

The quinjet door opened, revealing almost all of the old team. "Welcome back to the States."

Steve nodded in greeting, bearded jaw clenched and hands protectively crossed over his chest.

They stared at each other for a moment, unspoken words thick in the air. Rhodey broke it, stepping forwards.

"Thank you for coming. I'm sure we all... have a lot to say, but now is not the time."

Steve's eyes darkened with guilt as they passed over Rhodey's leg braces, offering another curt nod in response.

Natasha was the first to step off of the platform, offering Tony a tight smile. "Agreed."

"Just -" Tony's fist clenched by his side, "Please. I can't get him on my own."

"We wouldn't let you, man." Sam replied, "You got coordinates?"

"FRIDAY's working on it right now. So far she's narrowed it to Chicago."

"Then lets go."

Steve turned around, heading straight to the controls of the jet. Tony took a deep breath, looking at Rhodey for reassurance before following, door closing behind them.

--

The awkwardness of the jet was almost suffocating, Tony checking his phone every few seconds for any sort of update. Rhodey had positioned himself protectively in front of him, though not in a way that he was completely blocked from the view of the others.

Steve's body language was tight and guarded, eyes flitting over to Tony every few seconds before diverting to the floor, restraining himself from saying the words he had been sitting on for the past few months.

Tony's phone pinged, the man's face whitening as another video appeared on his screen. "They sent another one."

"Tony... you don't have to-"

He brushed Rhodey's concern off, jaw tightening. "No. I do." He clicked play with shaking hands, spare hand reaching up to cover his mouth in an attempt to withhold his shout of shock.

Peter was tied to a chair, head hung low. A woman was stood by a metal tray, picking up a cattleprod and jamming it into his stomach. A tear fell down his cheek at Peter's yell of pain, the other people in the jet jumping to their feet at the realisation of the nature of the video.

Natasha was the first to approach. "Tony -"

"Don't. I need to -"

The abuse continued, though Peter remained strong, refusing to let out another noise despite the attacks. Despite this, the pain was written clearly across his face, guilt eating at Tony like a disease.

"It should've been me" he whispered, throat tight.

Rhodey placed a comforting hand on his shoulder once again, grounding him and saving him from the anxiety spiral that was threatening to drag him down. He spoke in a low tone, attempting to hide his words from the rest of the group. "Breathe. You can't panic now. He needs you at 100%"

Tony choked out an agreement, placing his phone down on the seat and placing his head in his hands, willing himself to get it together. He had to be strong for Peter.

As his phone pinged again, he froze. Sam approached him carefully, picking up the phone and opening it when there was no argument.

"FRIDAY has a location," he said, "warehouse in Chicago, West Chatham. I'll give Steve the full address."

Natasha stood by Tony, close enough for him to feel her body heat, but keeping distance. "We'll get him. He's going to be okay. I promise."

--

The last twenty minutes of the journey felt like forever, Tony's mind racing with a million different possibilities. None of them were good.

As the quinjet began its descent, Rhodey moved closer to Tony, voice quiet. "You know I want to go in with you ..."

"I know. He - Peter will understand."

"Legs don't work the way they used to," Rhodey smiled, "But I'll get the meds out, ready for him."

"I appreciate it, Platypus. I mean it."

"I know its been a while since you've been alone with them, but they've still got your back. They won't let anything happen to Parker."

Tony nodded, fists clenching and unclenching as he pushed down the anxiety, willing himself to be strong. He wasn't allowed to be Tony Stark right now. His kid needed Ironman.

As he stood, he activated his armour, allowing the metal to give him courage.

"We go in quick and do this cleanly." Steve said, authoritative tone bringing Tony back to the prime of the Avengers. "We're still technically on the run. If we stay too long then -"

"They won't arrest you." Tony interrupted, keeping his eyes set on the door. "I've been negotiating since you went off the radar. I'm close to fixing it. Getting a pardon for your boy as well."

There was silence for a moment, uneasy and uncertain.

"Tony..."

He just waved them off. "Yeah, whatever. We don't have time to waste." Clearing his throat awkwardly, he pressed the release on the door.

--

The alarm blared through the building, Tony not stopping as he fought his way down the corridor, visor scanning for any sign of Peter.

"North east quadrant clear" Natasha announced through coms, "I found a map and am on my way to the control room."

Steve's voice sounded a few moments later. "North west quadrant clear. I'm heading towards you Sam."

"There's a lot of them here - I think they're guarding something."

Tony slammed his fist into the last man's face, kicking open another door and swearing as it turned up empty. "I've got nothing. He's got to be with you, Sam."

"The control room is barred from the inside," Natasha reported, exertion clear in her voice, "Door won't budge. The woman's gotta be in here."

Tony's footsteps faltered, not sure where to go. As if sensing this, Steve spoke.

"We're still making our way through this quadrant, we've got it under control. Go to Nat, Tony."

Pushing down the need to rebel, Tony followed the instructions, each step increasing with determination the closer he got.

"Stand to the side." He said, raising his hand and sending a powerful blast through the door once Natasha was safely out of the way.

Shouts of panic from the other side were ignored as he blasted away the rest of the door, barging in and hitting the first person he saw. Natasha was right behind him, carefully controlled fury powering her every move as she tore through the group of men.

Tony used this distraction to corner the woman, kicking her in the knees and sending her tumbling to the floor. "You will regret touching them" he growled, looking down on her in disgust, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

She laughed, an obnoxious laugh, and attempted to sit up straight. "You know who I am."

He held himself back from hurting her further, the sane part of him knowing that Peter would never forgive him for lashing out in a rage.

Instead, he disengaged his helmet, looking her up and down with disinterest. "I've never seen you before in my life."

At her outraged shout, he stepped back, motioning for Natasha to incapacitate her. "You're going to jail now, where no one will ever know or care who you are. You are nothing."

"You cant - They'll never arrest me! You have nothing -"

"Shut up." Natasha sneered, hitting her once cleanly in the temple, and huffing as she crumpled. Sparing a kind look at Tony, she nodded towards the door. "Go get him - I'll make sure she's tied up and ready for the cops."

He nodded, hoping his gratitude was clear as he raced out of the room. "Cap? Do you have him?"

"We have him - on our way to the jet."

Relief rushed through him, speeding up even more in his desperation to see his kid. He burst out of the building, disengaging the suit as he stumbled up the quinjet ramp, colliding with Sam's chest.

"He's okay - he's okay." Sam reassured, "Take a breath, Tony."

He took a shuddering breath, eyes fluttering closed as he did his best to regulate himself. "Thank you."

"Of course."

Sam stepped aside, letting Tony rush to Peter's side.

"Mr Stark?"

His voice was weak and small, but so so alive.

Tony let out a tearful laugh, cupping Peter's cheek in his hand. "It's me, bud. I'm here."

"Knew you'd come" Peter smiled, blinking weakly, "Knew it."

"Always."

#whumptober 2023 #whumptober #tony stark #iron dad #irondad and spiderson #peter parker #whump #irondad #spiderson #peter parker and tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #rhodey #james rhodes #war machine #sam wilson #falcon #marvel #mcu #marvel mcu

[clintbartonswife]

lone spider

Pairings: Peter Parker & irondad!Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Ned Summary: peter parker, student at Midtown and Stark's favourite intern, is captured. Whumptober prompt #3 : solitary confinement / 'make it stop' Whumptober prompt #4 : cattle prod / shock Notes: indirect mentions of self harm, descriptions of torture masterlist   || whumptober2023 || part two

The silence was suffocating.

Peter had never properly understood what people meant when they said that. Sound was not a tangible force - it was impossible to touch, so how could it possibly suffocate someone?

Now, stuck in this room for what he could only guess was going on a week, he understood.

The absence of sound will quickly become more overwhelming than any concert or panicked crowd. He absently wondered if it was worse due to his heightened senses, ears desperately straining for any sign of life.

Any day now, he kept telling himself, any day now and Mr Stark will come bursting through that door to save him. These thoughts quickly turned to worry for May.

Tonight, the darker thoughts had started to creep in. Does anyone even know I'm missing?

Peter tried to push them down as soon as they came up, but thoughts like those often found a way to stick. To burrow in to the irrational part of his brain and pollute all other thoughts.

"No" he whispered, voice still raw from the second day in the room. He had screamed until his voice gave up, banging on the walls in a panicked frenzy.

Mind racing, he dug his nails into the soft flesh of his forearms in an attempt to quiet it. To gain control.

"He will come." He let out a shaky breath, focusing on the dull pain radiating from his fingertips. "Mr Stark is coming."

In the quietest moments, when even Peter's thoughts went silent, he was transported back to the first week at midtown. Walking in to that school with shaky hands and a chip on his shoulder. The scholarship kid.

He hadn't known anyone, and was far too nervous to go up and talk to anyone. So he sat alone at lunch, hiding in the bathrooms and under the bleachers. Head down and so deeply ashamed of himself.

May had asked how he was settling in, and Peter got good at lying, something he had never had to do before. He felt guilt at first, but with May mourning the death of Uncle Ben he was set in making her as happy as he possibly could.

As his lying got better, his anxiety got worse. Who knew that repression is bad for your mental health! School had become its own kind of hell, a never-ending supply of blank stares and flash-supplied insults.

Ned joining half-way through the first year was a blessing, one that Peter grabbed on to with both hands, offering the new kid the kindness he was so harshly denied.

Ned - god, Ned.

He had never had a brother, no cousins to speak of either, so Peter had always been pretty good at keeping himself entertained. Comics had become his solace, immersing himself in fantasy worlds where he could hang out with friends - people who just got him.

It was sad, he knows.

Meeting Ned was like a light in the dark, someone to share his extensive comics knowledge with, to build Legos until 3 am in the morning while arguing about the star wars prequels. He finally had a brother.

Did he feel the same about you?

The ugly thoughts were back again, sharp words pressing into his weak points.

Ned Leeds came from a happy family, with his two parents, two little sisters and his lola - a lovely old woman who had embraced Peter with open arms and an open heart, minutes before shoving a heaped plate of lumpia in his hands.

Ned had everything that the selfish part of Peter longed for - a sense of community, more than one person caring if he lived or died. That's not to say that May wasn't great, hell, she was the most important person in Peter's life. He'd take a bullet for her without question.

He knew it was selfish of him to want more, but he couldn't stop. He was greedy. Greedy for connection, for love. Desperate for validation, acceptance...

He cringed as he remembered the first time meeting Mr Stark. The billionaire had been sat on the sofa with May, and Peter had just stared at him like a complete dork. When he finally managed to find his voice, he had stuttered and stumbled over his words before telling him that he 'had homework'.

He groaned aloud. "Stupid."

Who tells their idol that they can't go on a once-in-a-lifetime mission due to homework?

Peter had spent the rest of his time since desperately vying for any scrap of validation, working his ass off whenever he was extended the invite to work in Stark's lab. He was always so scared that everything was going to be ripped away from him in a moments notice.

That had spread into his patrols as Spiderman as well, especially after the whole mess when he was 15. He was constantly working to try and fix the damaged trust and expectations of his mentor, working himself into the ground.

He just wanted -

It was silly really, a stupid thing to want from freaking Iron-Man.

He was brought out of his thoughts as his ears twitched, detecting approaching footsteps. Scrambling backwards into the corner of the small room, he dug his fingers even deeper into the flesh of his arm.

"Is this real?" he breathed, eyes glued to the door.

The footsteps halted, a scuffling noise following.

Breathing picking up, Peter's eyes were glued to the door, still not completely sure if his ears were deceiving him. Mr Stark?

A hissing noise began to fill the room, gas thickening the air. Before Peter could come to terms with what was happening, he had breathed in, mind instantly going woozy. He felt his body crumple in on itself, staying conscious purely due to his powers.

Play dead, kid.

He could almost hear Tony's voice - his body following the order without thinking. Eyes closed, his other senses fought to fill in the gaps of his awareness, though were dampened by the gas.

At once, two masked men stepped in to the room.

"Kid's out like a light. Lets make this quick."

"This doesn't feel right. Are they sure -?"

"Just shut up and do what we were told. I'm not taking my chances."

Peter remained limp as they hoisted him on to a chair, tying ropes around his limbs. As the two left the room, he kept his eyes pressed closed as he subtly tested the strength of the rope.

He could break through it. It would probably take more energy than usual - his head still felt heavy, buzzing like an angry wasps nest - but he could do it.

He paused his movements as new footsteps entered the room, halting just in front of him.

Rustling was followed by methodical metallic clangs, Peter's stomach clenching as he realised the person was laying out instruments on a table.

In a millisecond his thoughts had switched from how to look convincingly knocked out to at what point do I have to give away my secret in order to stay alive?

He was brought out of his thoughts as a searing pain tore through his lower abdomen, eyes flying open with shock.

A woman was stood in front of him, eyes shining with malicious glee as she held a cattleprod against his stomach. Her lips upturned into a sneer as she brought the cattleprod back to her side, head tilting slightly.

"Welcome back."

The smell of singed flesh tickled Peter's nose, fresh tears welling as he battled to regulate his breathing. Panicking would only make the situation worse.

"I'm sure you must be wondering why I've brought you here today," she said, voice cold. "I'm afraid to say that it's all Tony Stark's fault."

"No -"

The word was met with another jab with the cattleprod as she looked down on him disapprovingly.

"He has something of mine, so I took something of his." She hissed, digging the device even deeper into his skin, watching with sick satisfaction as the skin started to sizzle.

Despite himself, Peter cried out.

He went to move, pulling against the restraints with the intent to break through them, panic rising as he failed. The rope burned around his wrists, though the pain was nothing compared to the two fresh burns.

"I dont -" he fought for breath, the vulnerability of his situation finally dawning on him. "Mr Stark - he..."

The woman laughed, fake pity in her voice as she leaned down to his level. "Yes, I suppose it must be confusing for you. You're wondering why your precious Mr Stark hasn't come to save you."

"How - how long -?"

The question escaped him before he could think, internally wincing at the desperation strewn throughout.

"Why, you've been here for almost a week." She shook her head sadly, though couldn't seem to hide her satisfied smile. "I'm starting to think his little intern maybe isn't as important as I was told... why don't we ask him."

She stepped aside, revealing a camera pointed directly at him. He looked at her in horror, finally catching up with what was about to happen to him.

"Say hello to your mentor Peter! We wouldn't want him to miss all the fun now, would we?"

Without even giving him a moment to answer, the cattleprod was once again driven into him, this time snagging in between two of his ribs. His whole body tensed as the electricity sunk into his skin, biting his lip to restrain himself from crying out.

His silence seemed to annoy the woman even more, her displeased huff followed by an even stronger surge of electricity. The staff twisted, pulling at the burned skin.

"Speak, boy."

If there was one thing that Peter took pride in, it was the Parker stubbornness. When he got something into his head, he was going to follow through until the bitter end, and this lady? This lady had pissed him off. He may have lost the strength needed to break free, but his mental fortitude was still somewhat in tact.

So, he clenched his jaw and focused on his breathing, remembering the yoga class he had been forced to take by Black Widow before she had run off to join Team Cap.

Sharp prod. Deep breath. Electrical surge. Dear god, make it stop. Hold. Burned skin ripping off the hot metal. Release breath to the count of five.

Time held no meaning anymore, Peter's reality reduced to pain, relief and waiting.

Again.

And again.

And again.

The waiting was the worst - each pause seemed to drag impossibly longer, his body just beginning to relax before being attacked all over again. Still, he held back as much noise as he possibly could.

Finally, the woman stepped away from him, annoyance clear on her face.

"I guess we'll just have to try again tomorrow, wont we?"

Peter couldn't move, slumped uncomfortably in his chair, eyes following the woman as she walked out of the room, the red light of the camera still blinking.

As soon as the door slammed behind her, Peter dipped his head, doing his best to shield his face from the camera as his tears finally fell.

#whumptober 2023 #whumptober #spiderman whump #spiderman #irondad #ned leeds #introspection #tony stark #whump #peter parker #mcu spiderman #mcu

[clintbartonswife]

in the dark of the night i think of you

Pairings: remus lupin/sirius black, james potter/lily evans Summary: remus before the first full moon after the fateful halloween night Whumptober prompt #2 : thermometer / delirium / 'they dont care about you' Notes: mentions of death, war, self-harm and injury. even remus' hallucinations are mean to him. masterlist   || whumptober2023

The night before the full moon was always the worst.

When he was a child he had found it unbearable, coddled by his mother while his father looked on with guilt-laden eyes. They had held him when he cried, always doing their best to prepare him for what was to come.

It was impossible, of course, to prepare a five year old for the pain of their bones reassembling. For the reality of living the rest of their life with a condition that took such a toll, hiding a secret and gaining new scars every month.

He grew to fear the anticipation more than the transformation itself, working himself into a state every time he saw the moon thickening. His parents could do nothing about it, trapped in their helplessness, clinging to each other as his screams tore through the night.

The shame followed the fear.

When Remus was old enough to understand the concept of shame and embarrassment, he could finally name the look on his father's face when talking about his son's 'condition'. That shadowed him through the rest of his life - every new scar just another tally mark of the ever present shame that he brought to his parent's life.

That soon fuelled resentment, Lyall taking up extra hours at work to avoid him, eventually leaving him and his mother with nothing but bad memories. He hadn't even gone to Hope's funeral.

His time at Hogwarts had helped to ease that overwhelming shame, though it still followed him in every avenue of his life. He was taught that he deserved to love and be loved, wholly and without holding back. It had been a tough sell, but by the time he had graduated he finally found it in himself to believe that he had a family that accepted him.

He enjoyed the surety for less than a year.

A cough ripped through him, Remus groaning as another chill racked his body. He tugged the threadbare blanket higher up, curling in on himself in an attempt to retain as much heat as he could.

The cottage he had found was literally crumbling around him, allowing the cold November air to penetrate every corner of the room where he had set up a makeshift bed. As Marlene loved to say, beggars cant be choosers, and he knew he was lucky to find any kind of structure hidden this deep in the woods.

With shaking hands, he took the thermometer from between his lips, squinting to read it in the dim light.

"Shit, 40."

This was just his luck. Hiding out in an abandoned building with a raging fever the day before the full moon.

If this fever killed him, he wondered, how long would his body be left to rot? No one knew where he was - hell, there wasn't anyone left in the world that cared.

"You always were good at the pity party, eh Moony?"

His heart skipped a beat, tears rushing to his eyes at the familiar voice. He didn't dare look up, wanting to hold on to the impossible for just a few seconds longer.

"You know, ignoring us isn't going to change anything."

"Lily -" he breathed, somewhere between a sob and prayer.

"Wow. Okay. I see the favouritism happening right now."

He finally looked up, tears flowing freely. James and Lily stood above him, pity in their eyes and hands entwined.

"How -"

Lily smiled sagely, kneeling by his side, phantom hand placed on his forehead. "You're burning up."

Remus let out a shaky laugh, breath visible in the air. "Right. I'm dying."

"Dramatic!" James sang, flashing a cheeky grin. "You're not dying Moony, you're just finally losing your mind."

His shaky laugh turned to an outright chuckle, the noise even shocking himself. He hadn't laughed properly since -

He got rid of that thought, instead heaving himself in to a sitting position, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. "Yeah - that makes sense."

Lily shook her head fondly, lightly slapping James' chest. "Be nice."

Remus rolled his eyes fondly, "I always hated it when they'd treat me like I'm fragile, especially before the full moon."

"See, my flower? I'm simply treating Rem like I always have. No need to go easy on him just because I'm a ghost and all."

"We're not ghosts, dummy. I think we're part of his subconscious -"

James gasped, "Are we in your head?"

"That's an awful place to be right now -"

"Is that your way of asking us to leave?"

Remus' smile dropped instantly, looking down at the floor in shame. "No - I'd never... and I - I'm sorry I wasn't there. That I didn't... I -"

"You couldn't have known he'd betray us."

Remus' head swirled as he whipped it around, Peter stood near the doorway, waving sheepishly.

"Took your time, Wormy!" James greeted cheerfully, "Did we interrupt your very important death plans?"

"Not exactly... I got lost. Everything was white and I didn't quite understand how to get out."

Remus snorted, that snort turning into a laugh of disbelief, and then dissolving in to wheezing. Tears ran down his cheeks, contrasted by the smile on his lips.

"Remus?"

"Great. We broke him."

"Don't look at me! I just got here!"

The three of them began to argue, the noise weirdly comforting. It reminded him so strongly of sitting in front of the roaring fire, his friends littered around the common room all debating over the best Bertie Bott's flavour. Sirius tracing shapes on the back of his hand -

"They don't care about you."

Remus froze, blood running cold at the harsh voice. Even after all these years, his father could still suck all the air out of a room.

He looked back up. His friends had disappeared, replaced by his father's looming figure.

"Look at you. You ended up just like I said you would. Alone."

"Da that's -"

"I don't want to hear any more of your pathetic excuses."

"Ex -" Remus choked down his tears, refusing to appear weak in front of him. "This wasn't my fault."

Lyall laughed. A mean, bitter laugh. "You don't really believe that though, do you boy. Those aren't even your words!"

He was right. Of course he was right.

Remus' self-hatred ran deep, supplied by a never-ending well that had been hollowed out in his early life. He found that he would seek out punishment in a way to repent - getting in fights over summer, developing unhealthy drinking habits, even volunteering to immerse himself in the werewolf pack at the height of the war.

During fifth year at the apex of his academic stress he had allowed Sirius to practice his stick and poke on his body. The repetitive sharp pain had been soothing, and a small possessive part of him liked the fact that he wore Sirius' art - something that none of the endless stream of girlfriends would ever have. They had made it more bearable to look at his scarred body, seeing evidence of love instead of reasons for shame.

Of course, even that had been robbed from him. The tattoos instead represented his failure - permenantly marked by the man who had taken his life from him.

"Look at me, boy."

Remus' head moved as if he had been slapped, connecting his eyes to his father's.

"Your friends are dead because of you."

He swallowed heavily, hands curling into fists under the blanket, pulling the fabric impossibly closer to his body.

"You dated that deviant and allowed him to blind you from his true intentions. You might as well have delivered them to the Dark Lord yourself."

Remus' mouth opened, but failed to produce any noise.

The thing was, his father was right. He had been warning him all these years to avoid attachment. Remus was cursed, bringing nothing but pain to those around him.

"They died knowing that you had let them down."

He blinked back tears as James, Lily and Peter reappeared behind his father, faces expressionless.

"We thought we were safe." James spat. "We trusted you."

Lily's voice was uncharacteristically cold, "I was in front of Harry - he saw death before he ever understood joy."

"He didn't just kill me... he blew me up." Peter lifted his hand, showing that one finger was missing, "They couldn't even find my body."

Tears finally began to fall as they all began walking towards him, a cacophony of insults and blame being thrown at him in cold and uncaring voices.

" - couldn't save Marlene -"

" - just a monster -"

" - father was right about you -"

" - Dorcas died for you -"

" - disappointment."

A strong gust of icy wind ripped through the shack, Remus wincing at the intensity of it. When he reopened his eyes, he was alone.

His sobs rattled through his entire body, hunching in on himself as his nails dug into the tattoo on his forearm.

For the first time in his life, he wished for the glow of the full moon.

#whumptober 2023 #remus lupin #marauders #lily potter #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #wolfstar #jily #introspective

[clintbartonswife]

these hands that hold

Pairings: Clint Barton / Bucky Barnes Summary: clint has no coordination when it comes to his crush Whumptober prompt #1 : swooning / 'how many fingers am i holding up?' Notes: we're making an attempt at whumptober! i'm in no way promising a fic every day, but hopefully this will get me back into writing :)) if you have any fic ideas that you want me to write, my requests are open as always. HAPPY OCTOBER!! this is slightly more fluffy than the rest will be - i just cant resist fluffy winterhawk masterlist   || whumptober2023

"Another day, another sucky mission waking me up before noon."

"As optimistic as always," Nat drawled, rolling her eyes fondly as Clint pouted, "I made a fresh pot for you."

He kissed her forehead grinning, rushing over to the steaming pot of coffee, "Natasha, this is why I love you."

"Keep that in mind for when I say -"

"Oh god -"

"You're with Bucky today."

Clint's smile dropped instantly. "Nat. You cant do this to me - last time I was in the same room as him I literally tripped over thin air. Thin air, Nat! I can't think straight when I'm around him -"

"Tough shit, sorry. We need two snipers on this one, so suck it up big boy." She slid off her chair, patting his shoulder condescendingly. "Be nice to him, okay?"

"You - he - he's the one that's mean to me!"

She guffawed, walking out the room. "Quinjet in ten!"

Clint let his head drop on to the kitchen counter, hand gripping the handle of the coffee pot impossibly tighter. "Get it together, Barton."

"Talking to yourself again?" An amused voice from the doorway interrupted his pity party, Clint holding back a groan.

"It's too early for this shit" he shot back, lifting his head to glare at Bucky leaning against the doorframe.

"Early for you maybe - y'know normal people don't sleep in until 3pm?"

"Says the fossil."

"Ouch, you really hurt me with that one," Bucky replied, hand over his chest and a smirk on his lips.

Clint stomped down the butterflies that threatened to make him blush, instead levelling the brunet with what he hoped was a convincing death stare.

Rolling his eyes - and damn did he look good when he did that - Bucky pushed off the doorframe, walking over to Clint and picking the pot out of his hand as if it was nothing.

"Hey! Get your own coffee!"

Bucky didnt reply, instead lifting the pot to his lips and taking a large swig, maintaining eye contact as he did so.

"Asshole." Clint frowned, snatching the pot back as soon as he could. "If you think that will stop me from drinking it, you're sorely mistaken. Nothing gets in between me and my caffeine intake - especially when I've been woken up at an ungodly hour."

With that he stormed out of the room heading towards the quinjet hangar, resolutely ignoring Bucky's scoffed 'It's 11am' from behind him.

"Snipers, that's Clint and Bucky, will be stationed on this rooftop here," Steve explained, pointing to a location on the hologram map. "Due to the limited sightlines, this is the best vantage point in the city. Clint will be covering the north-western approach, while Bucky covers the south-east."

"Roger that, Cap." Clint replied, definitely ignoring the way that Bucky's arms flexed as he put his shoulder length hair into a bun. He wasted absolutely no brain power on the way his hair looked especially soft today. None at all.

He especially did not smell his hair when he leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Who knows, if all goes well we might get you home in time for your nap."

His shampoo was coconut scented.

"Very funny - har har. Y'know getting enough sleep is vital to being a functioning human being, so not the insult you thought that was, actually."

Bucky huffed a laugh, standing back up to his full height. Natasha caught his eye from across the quinjet, giving him a sarcastic thumbs up.

He flipped her off in return.

" - essential that we do this quietly, swiftly and with as little damage as possible. That being said, Bruce we need you on comms and on medical standby - we hopefully won't need to call a code green."

Bruce nodded at this, tugging on his sweater nervously. "Im not the most anxious to get back out there after..."

He trailed off, Steve nodding understandingly. "Don't worry, we have multiple back up plans in place. Now, since Thor is off-world and Tony is sitting this one out -"

"He was literally thrown through a wall last week -"

"We'll be a little short on air support. Sam, we're going to need you to cover twice the amount you usually do."

"Redwing will watch over what I can't - if anything goes wrong I'll be there in seconds."

"Natasha and Wanda, you're with me on the ground. We get in, grab the prisoner, and get out. Is everyone clear on their assignment?"

Affirmative words spread around the room, Clint moving over to Natasha to get his bow and arrows.

"Y'know, you should use this time to make your move." she murmured, smirking.

"By what? Making an even bigger fool of myself?"

Natasha hummed, "Possibly. Or you could... I don't know, use that Hawkeye charm and flirt?"

Clint scoffed, ducking away as she tried to ruffle his blond hair. "Bite me."

"Oka-"

He leapt away as far as he could, hands thrown up in self defence, "Kidding! I was kidding!"

Steve huffed a laugh, patting Clint on the shoulder as he passed, "You should know better than that by now."

"Yes Cap..."

Sliding the shield on his back, he signalled for Bruce to open the quinjet doors. "Get in your groups, get to your stations and then call it in on comms - keep it clear from chatter. We do this fast and clean."

Clint swallowed heavily as he felt Bucky move to stand behind him, very aware of how close he was. His breath hitched as he felt Bucky lean closer, "I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing Stevie barking commands - since getting my memory back all I can see is the little punk from Brooklyn."

Clint smiled, head tilting slightly as he looked at Steve. "I find it impossible to imagine him with spindly limbs - surely his head would be too big for his body."

Bucky barked a laugh, earning the attention of the rest of the team. Steve narrowed his eyes, though Clint could see a hint of joy shining through, as if he was hearing a long lost song.

"'S so funny, Buck?"

"You - uhh, nothing Stevie." Bucky tried to muffle his laughter, coughing before throwing on a mask of indifference. "Lets do this."

Steve just nodded, though his eyes flicked between Clint and Bucky for a few moments, calculating. "Move out."

Clint shook himself slightly, clearing his head. Readjusting his arrow sheath, he followed Bucky out of the quinjet, climbing in to the passenger seat of the car.

"You sure you can drive?"

"I was driving before you were born, smart ass."

"Hey, just wondering if you were used to riding something that didn't eat grass and say neigh."

Bucky snorted, "We didn't ride horses."

"Really? There goes that dream." He pouted, followed by a sad 'yeehaw'.

Bucky shot him a weird look, suppressing a smile as he pulled away from the jet, driving towards their lookout point. On their arrival, Bucky reached into the back of the car and pulled out his sniper case.

Clint looked at the building distastefully, the crumbling plaster and boarded up windows doing nothing for its curb appeal.

"D'you think the elevator in this thing is still working?"

"Not for years - we're going to have to take the fire escape."

"Ugh, I hate climbing."

Bucky flashed him an odd look, seemingly swallowing down a question before pulling down the metal ladder. "Hawks first."

"Why thank you"

As they climbed, Clint made a very conscious effort to control his footing, aware that the last time he was alone with Bucky he ended up on his ass.

He was determined not to make a fool of himself this time.

"Okay, I've got to know. What was with that look you gave me when I said I don't like climbing?"

"Wha - well, okay. I just thought it was a bit ironic, coming from the guy who likes being up high all the time."

"Fair enough. I can see where the confusion comes in."

There was a pause. "Why don't you?"

"Like climbing? Um..." he thought about his answer, before deciding to play it safe, defaulting to making light of it. "Too much effort. Much prefer being carried places."

Bucky seemed as if he was going to dig further, Clint thanking his lucky stars that they had run out of fire escape. Scrambling on to the roof, he shrugged his bow off his shoulder, pressing his coms to activate it. "Hawkeye and Barnes in position."

Bucky huffed, shaking his head as he took out his sniper from its case, prepping his scope.

Steve's voiced crackled on, "Copy that. We're two minutes from target. Falcon, sitrep."

"Redwing made a preliminary scan - we count 5 hostiles guarding the front entrance, plus 2 hostiles on every exit. Seems to be more inside, but something is blocking the signal from reaching that far in."

"Electrical interference?" Natasha asked, sounding like she already knew the answer.

"Yep. Seems like its coming from the south-west side of the building."

"I'll see what I can do."

Cap chimed back in, "About to head in - keep this channel clear."

Clint pressed his com once, turning his mic off before settling into position, eyes scanning back and forth across his assigned area. Behind him, Bucky did the same.

Focused silence settled over the two of them, only to be broken after a few minutes.

"I can almost hear you thinking," Clint said, words hanging in the air precariously. "What is it?"

"Your response back there? I'm calling bullshit."

"Okay, wow."

Bucky audibly shrugged. "You asked me, I responded."

"Is now really the best time for thi-?"

Nat's voice interrupted him, com flaring to life once more. "Signal box down. Do you have visual?"

"Affirmative. There's 20 bodies in there - woah what the hell?"

"Sam?"

"We have an enhanced on the field. Looks like they're -"

He was cut off by Wanda, her voice shaking. "Flying? Yeah - Cap they're coming towards you. Heading towards the west exit of the building. Got the jump on me -"

"Copy that. You okay?"

"Fine - just some bruises."

Clint rolled his shoulders in anticipation, pressing his com to leave the line open.

For the next few minutes, Clint allowed himself to fully settle into his position, sniper training allowing him to relax whilst still being fully vigilant. In an instant, he had extracted an arrow from his sheathe and pressed it against his bow.

"I've got eyes-on. Target is moving fast - have a minute window maybe less."

"Take the shot, non lethal if possible."

Clint huffed. Of course it was possible. He could hit an apple from the top of a baby's head at this range.

He swallowed down his need to brag, quickly aiming and firing at the target. His arrow soared through the air, hitting it's mark in the man's shoulder.

"Target hit - he's going down just outside the mini mart. Shot to the shoulder."

"I have no visual," Natasha said, frown audible, "Wanda?"

"Neither."

"I'm on my way," Sam added, "No visual from the surrounding areas."

"Fan out around the surrounding buildings, he's got to be here somewhere."

Sudden movement from behind him broke Clint's focus, Bucky pushing him out of the way as a man descended on them from the sky, knife in hand. He blocked the attack with his metal arm, the sound of clashing metal ringing through the air.

Clint swore under his breath, whipping his bow into it's baton form and charging forwards, landing a solid blow to the target's arm. The knife fell from his grip.

It devolved into a scuffle, Bucky and Clint working in unison to knock the guy down.

In between hits, Bucky managed to re-open his com link. "Target is on us, I repeat target is on our roof."

Clint winced as a particularly harsh hit landed on his jaw, responding by hitting the man's throat. The enhanced fell to the floor with a wheeze, eyes narrowing as his fist closed around the hilt of the previously dropped knife.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as he jumped back up, the silver blade just narrowly missing the soft flesh of Clint's neck. Bucky immediately moved to Clint's aid, pushing him out of the way as the blade returned.

Toppled off balance, he careened into the brick that lined the roof's edge, head smashing against it.

Through hazy eyes, he watched Bucky tackled the target, manipulating him until his knee was on their back.

He was hot when he fought.

Ringing was followed by the return of his limited hearing, faint and muffled, as Bucky yelled something unintelligible over comms. He heard no response, frowning, before realising his hearing aid had fallen out.

His coms were built in - a fancy upgrade from a lab-bound Tony.

Blinking heavily, he tried to refocus his eyes. Whilst two Bucky's had definitely been a part of countless recent dreams, he wasn't exactly fond of the lack of clear sight that went along with the double vision.

The Buckys knelt in front of him, metal wings descending behind him. Sam had arrived. He was saying something, concern painted across every line of his face.

Clint could only blink back dumbly, eyes narrowing as he tried to read his lips. Lips - Bucky's lips. They were very nice lips -

Bucky was clicking in his face now, two slowly merging back into one.

'Hear?'

Bucky was signing. He didn't know Bucky knew how to sign. The hand movements were clunky, but deliberate.

Clint shook his head in response, the sudden movement making his world spin on it's axis.

'One moment.'

Bucky had left his side, looking on the ground for something and standing up with a triumphant 'aha!'. Soon the device was pressed into his hand, guided up towards his ear by Bucky's gloved ones.

Common sense finally catching up to him, Clint placed the hearing aid back into his ear, slumping in relief as his senses returned.

"- ou hear me? Clint? Hey."

"Present"

Bucky held his hand up once more, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Really?"

"Don't be cute, how many fingers?"

"One, two... three."

Bucky rolled his eyes, though Clint could see relief rush through him at the realisation he hadnt lost all his brain cells when he hit the bricks.

"How's your head? Can you stand?"

"We won't know 'til we try, I guess."

He accepted the hand that Bucky offered - the human one - and lifted himself up. The weight of gravity seemed to have tripled, attempting to drag him back down with a vengeance as soon as he was fully upright.

Bucky moved just as quickly, spare hand wrapping around his waist to keep him upright, anchoring him against his body.

Did he just - did Clint really just swoon?

What kind of disney princess shit was happening? He quickly looked around, half expecting to see cartoon birds still circling his head.

"Shit - okay." He was lowered down to the ground again. "Cap we're going to need med-evac for Barton. He can't stand."

The back of Clint's neck flushed red, "I'm fine -"

"I'll believe you when you don't fall over your own feet."

"Ask Nat, I do that all the time!"

She immediately replied, voice flat. "Don't use me as your excuse. We're coming to get you."

Clint groaned.

Bucky knelt down beside him, grabbing Clint's chin and moving him so that he could look into his eyes.

"Your pupils are a bit big - looking pale too -"

"Well you don't look too hot yourself," Clint replied, banishing all impure thoughts from his mind. This eye contact was doing something to him.

Bucky just shook his head, releasing his grip and sitting down, running a hand through his hair. "I - I'm sorry."

Clint's eyes widened, "No - I mean, you look beautiful. Not that you owe anyone to be conventionally attractive - you are though, and strong too! Not that you cant be both attractive and strong - you know, I think I'm - please just cut me off I'm losing my mind over here."

Bucky breathed a laugh, shaking his head slightly. "You're a mess."

"Yeah." Clint's chest clenched. "Yeah I know."

"I was apologising for hurting you." Bucky finally clarified, "I - I'm still not fully aware of my strength I guess."

"You saved me."

"I hurt you." He repeated.

"Okay, fine. You pushed me into a wall -"

"Exactly, I -"

"And away from the mad flying man who was about to plunge a knife into my head."

Bucky just sighed, realising this was one battle he was not going to win, and looked over at Sam. Clint had forgotten the other two were still on the roof, avoiding looking over at them as his cheeks blazed. Yet another captive audience to witness Clint's never-ending embarrassment.

"Don't look at me, man." Sam said, tightening his grip as the enhanced attempted to slip from his grip, "I've got my hands full."

"Useless bird."

"Metal bitch."

The roar of the quinjet interrupted, hovering by the edge of the roof as the platform descended, Bruce rushing out.

"Help me get him up," he demanded, looping Clint's left arm over his shoulder and gesturing for Bucky to do the same on his right.

As the three of them slowly made it back to the quinjet, Steve and Wanda moved to help Sam with the enhanced.

"I'm really fine," Clint complained, "this is all unnecessary."

Natasha glared at him from her spot next to the makeshift medical corner of the quinjet, pointing at the stretcher.

Bucky backed away, dipping out from under Clint's arm as Bruce helped him on to it, immediately beginning his medical checks.

Behind him, Natasha and Bucky talked indistinctly, backs turned to him. How inconsiderate.

Bruce moved back into his line of vision, stealing back his attention. "Any pain in your head?"

"No"

"That's a lie and you damn well know it. You're bleeding."

"Oh that? Yeah I guess it's a bit sore."

"I'm only trying to help Clint. The quicker you're truthful with me the quicker I can stop trying to probe you for answers."

"Right - sorry, doc."

"Any blurred vision? Nausea? Tingling?"

"Vision was blurred but is slightly better now and yeah, but I think it's cos I'm hungry. No tingling"

Bruce frowned, "Your pupils are blown, you have no balance - you have a concussion. Seems to be a mild one, but if you get any tingling or headache you tell me right away."

Clint saluted, "Yes sir."

Bruce rolled his eyes, though his smile remained kind. "Glad you're okay, Barton."

"Likewise!"

"So, doc - how long 'til he can have that promised nap?"

Bruce huffed, "The no sleep thing is a medical myth - you just have to be sure to wake him every 3 hours to check for any new symptoms."

"Bruce, I could kiss you."

"Don't."

The two laughed as Bruce retreated to the cockpit, Bucky replacing him by his side.

"All's good?"

"Like I said, I'm fit as a damn fiddle" Clint grinned, jumping off the stretcher with flair, only to pitch sideways. Bucky's arms wrapped around him once more, keeping him upright.

"Nothing wrong, huh?" he asked, raising his eyebrow unimpressed.

Clint cleared his throat, but made no effort to move. "Okay, so that's not completely true - but it's not life threatening so I'd call that a win."

Bucky laughed, "You know, I'm starting to think you just like my arms around you."

He shrugged coyly. "There are worse places to be."

Not expecting that reply, Bucky took a step back, arms loosening.

Clint immediately panicked. "I'm - that was stupid. I'm sorry."

"These arms..." Bucky trailed off, staring at his hands. "These hands. I've killed people with these hands. More than I can count -"

"You weren't in control -"

"They were still my actions. I did those things with the very arms you think -" he broke off, voice lowering to a whisper. "How can you think being in these arms is safe when you know how much blood they spilt."

Clint reached out, taking both of Bucky's hands into his. "These hands belong to you now, Buck. You're in control of them. You use them to fill out your stupid crossword puzzles - to steal my coffee. You used them today to save my life."

"I hurt you -"

"You saved me. I'd happily take a minor head wound over a stab wound any day."

"You're missing the point -"

"No. You're missing the point. You're a good person Bucky, and I'll say that as many times as it takes to make you believe me."

They stood there for a few more moments, Clint leaning against the stretcher for some support.

"Once more."

"Huh?"

Bucky finally looked up, meeting Clint's eyes. "Say it once more."

He smiled, reaching up and cupping Bucky's cheek in his hand. "You are a good person, Bucky."

"I - you'll need someone to watch over you for the next few hours..."

"It's a date." Clint smiled as Bucky's eyes widened, "You can kiss me now."

Bucky laughed, "You're bold when you're concussed."

"Hey, if I knew that I would've got a concussion earlier."

"Idiot."

Their lips finally met, smiling and warm.

They were going to be okay.

#whumptober 2023 #winterhawk #bucky/clint #bucky barnes #clint barton #whump #fluff #fluffy ending #the avengers #not mcu clint #comic!clint #prompt 1 #hopeful ending

[clintbartonswife]

whumptober 2023

this is really just to try to get back into writing as its been a while since I've done anything! just a heads up: i will be combining one or more prompts into one for some fics

No. 1: these hands that hold (Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes)

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: in the dark of the night i think of you (Remus Lupin)

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: lone spider (Peter Parker & irondad!Tony Stark)

Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

No. 4: lone spider (Peter Parker & irondad!Tony Stark)

Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: remote (steve rogers x reader || p1)

Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: it takes a village (irondad!Tony Stark)

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: rip off the band-aid (wade wilson/peter parker)

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

No. 8: my love is timeless (jaskier / geralt)

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

No. 10: remote (steve rogers x reader || p1)

Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 15: remote (steve rogers x reader || p1)

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 19: words that shatter (remus lupin/sirius black)

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: it takes a village (irondad!Tony Stark)

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 26: i achoo you (wade wilson/peter parker)

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: i loved you like the sun (remus lupin/sirius black)

Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: my love is timeless (jaskier / geralt)

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 30: i loved you like the sun (remus lupin/sirius black)

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

to read some of my other works, please refer to my masterlist!

#whumptober 2023 #masterlist #whumptober masterlist

[clintbartonswife]

In for a penny, in for a pound

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson Warnings: mentions of death, violence, gay pining and dustin being a little shit Summary: Eddie gets stuck in a time loop, the universe is a bitch and no matter how many times he seems to die he can’t get Steve Harrington’s smile out of his head.

  part one here

The girls swung by that afternoon, catching Eddie and Steve in the middle of an intense game of ‘rock, paper, scissors’.

They had dragged the two foldable chairs outside, not wanting to be crammed into the RV for too long. Boredom quickly took over, and they found themselves playing increasingly stupid games to pass the time.

At one point, Eddie had taken it upon himself to all-but drown the former lifeguard with compliments until he looked as if he would faint from the amount of blood that rushed to his cheeks. Steve had eventually thrown a pebble at him, calling him a dickhead in the process.

Eddie had simply held his hands up in surrender, smirking - something he had found himself doing more and more when in Steve’s company - and suggested a game of truth or dare, which was swiftly turned down and replaced with the ‘safe’ option of rock paper scissors.

“What, don’t think you could control yourself, Harrington?”

“Just shut up and play - one, two, three!”

“Wait are we going on three? Or are we-”

“Munson, for fucks sake just go on three.”

“Okay, damn, I was just making sure -”

“ONE -”

They were currently drawing, having won two games each, as the girls arrived.

“We come bearing gifts!” Robin called, breaking through the treeline, “We went by your house and - oh my god, you’re wearing a flower crop top.”

Eddie burst out laughing, falling backwards in his seat at the offended look of Steve’s face. The man in question stood up, hands on his hips. The motion drew his eyeline to his exposed torso, Eddie having to force himself not to follow the trail of hair dipping into his trousers.

“Don’t you laugh Rob, or I swear to all things you hold dear -”

“I wouldn’t dare.” she grinned, holding her hands up in surrender. “It suits you.”

“Right? Does wonders for his figure.”

Nancy followed a few moments later, “Thought you were smarter than to threaten the people that bring you food.”

Steve sat down sheepishly, crossing his arms over his stomach. “How bad is everything out there?”

“Everything has gone to shit,” Nancy stated, “Town hall fell into the cracks, so people are using the school as a home base. A lot of people are just up and leaving -”

“Honestly, you should’ve seen it! Just a constant stream of people leaving, and then even when you’re driving back into town literally every house has people packing their cars. Which like, makes sense after everything.” Robin rambled, unpacking the bags on to the floor as she went, “You know, everyone says Hawkins is cursed by the devil? I always thought it was a bit of an overreaction, but now... I mean Vecna isn’t exactly a big red demon, more of a walking talking prune, but you get what I mean -”

“Wait, they’re saying the devil is behind this?” Eddie asked, “Have they - has my name..?” Nancy’s face was all the answer he needed; the sympathy written clearly across her features. “Right, of course they have. Called me a satanist to boot, huh?”

Robin perked up at that, rocking back and forth on her heels as she spoke. “You know, satanism isn’t actually the worshipping of the devil. The word satan in hebrew actually just means ‘adversary’. It’s the challenging of Christianity and it’s beliefs.” At Nancy’s weird look, she rushed to clarify, “Not that I’m a satanist - I’m just saying - the religion isn’t actually evil at its core. I’d say it has a better approach on certain things...”

She trailed off, clearing her throat and throwing some clothes at Steve, “I got them from your closet.”

Eddie pouted, “But he looks so good in women’s clothes.”

Steve scoffed, flipping him off before walking to the RV, “Cry about it, sweetheart.”

As the door closed behind him, Nancy threw a pile of clothes at Eddie, “I know they’re not exactly your style, but they’re clean.”

“Which is more than I could’ve asked for, thank you.” he bundled them up, holding them on his lap, “Any luck reaching the Byers?”

Nancy sighed, “Still nothing. I’m starting to get really worried - this is all over the news. Even if Joyce was using the phone for work she would’ve called one of us by now - Johnathon would...” she trailed off, clearing her throat, “They would’ve called.”

Robin murmured her agreement, as Eddie frowned. “You don’t think Vecna can reach outside of Hawkins, do you?”

Robin frowned, “I mean - it wouldn’t make sense. He wanted to destroy Hawkins - opening gates anywhere else wouldn’t make sense.”

Nancy rocked back and forth slightly, deeply in thought. “I don’t know... why wait until now to do anything? He had all that time between last summer to act...”

“Last summer..?”

Robin flashed him a strained smile, “Russians were trying to reopen the gate under the mall. Long story - Steve and I got tortured -”

“What?”

Robin ignored him, carrying on. “The mindflayer came back.”

“Mindflayer... like the D&D character?”

“A big angry monster made up of like half the town tried to eat us - successfully ate Billy, and then El closed the gate.”

“All of this happened... last year? How the fuck has this town not burned to ash before now”

Nancy laughed, a hollow laugh of someone who had seen too much, rubbing the back of her neck, “It’s not from lack of trying, that’s for sure.”

Eddie bit his lip anxiously, grip tightening on the clothes in his lap at the insinuation. He had been living his life for years, unaware of the monster army that was doing its best to claw its way into Hawkins. Stressing over exams and sneaking drugs past cops, doing his best not to disappoint his uncle and failing every fucking time.

When he finally had a chance to do something that would make a difference, he fucked that up too, over and over again. 

He was brought back to the present as a warm palm cupped the side of his cheek, a gentle finger pulling his bottom lip away from his teeth. The touch lingered for a hesitant moment, disappearing as Eddie locked eyes with the owner.

“Sorry - you were biting your lip.”

The metallic taste of blood finally registered, Eddie smiling reproachfully at Steve, “Sorry.”

“Dont... apologise.”

Robin cleared her throat, looking between the two of them with a growing smile on her face.

Eddie, deciding he’d rather be anywhere else than here in this exact second, bolted out of his chair. “I - changing - clothes” he stammered, rushing to the RV and slamming the door behind him.

He leant back against the door, taking a deep breath to steady himself and refusing to think about the fact Steve had put his denim vest back on.

This was stupid.

Falling in - no. He wasnt even going to acknowledge it. 

He just needed to create more distance between them. For his own sake.

-

The girls decided to stay for a few hours.

Eddie found himself avoiding Robin’s eyes, not wanting to see how she saw right through him and to the overwhelming emotion that was beginning to build in his chest.

It only took about twenty minutes for her to get bored of being subtle, grabbing Eddie by the arm and marching him away from the RV. 

“Wha - Robin!”

“I’m only taking him over here! I’ll return him in one piece, I promise!”

“That’s so not the issue Buckley!” Steve shouted back, “Boundaries! People have boundaries!”

Robin just waved him off, finally stopping once away from prying eyes. She released her grip, all-but sending him vaulting into the nearest tree.

“You’re gay.”

Eddie blinked, sure he must have heard her wrong.

“What?”

“You’re gay.” She repeated. At his continued lack of response, she slapped a hand over her mouth, muffling an almost inhuman screech. “No - shit. Me gay! I’m gay! We’re - we’re gay. Both of us. Gay.” She finished the panicked explanation with half-hearted jazz hands. “Yay.”

“Uh - right.”

The two stood in silence for a few moments, Robin half-bouncing on the spot in her excitement. Eddie broke the silence with a sarcastic drawl.

“Well done us?”

“Sorry! I just - I dont have any other gay friends,” she explained, “well at least I didnt think I did.”

“Really?” Eddie asked, face blank, “But you’re in band...”

“Wha - how does that affect anything?”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head, “Come on, half of that group is questionable at least.”

“What! Name one!”

“Okay, well Gregory for one. He’s been following after Damon with lovesick eyes from the moment they met.”

“Huh,” Robin huffed teasingly, ”The big bad Eddie Munson, regular gossip. Who would’ve thought?”

“Oh piss off - I’m just perceptive. I mean, the amount of times I’ve seen you stare dreamily at Nancy these past few days alone-” 

Robin slapped him on the arm, scoffing a laugh as Eddie allowed himself to smile, relaxing into the unfamiliar sense of pure acceptance.

“Well, I wouldn’t say you hide it very well either! I could see the sexual tension between you and Steve a mile away.”

Eddie blanched, “What - no -”

“Oh please. If I didn’t know any better I’d say something went on between you last night considering the way you were eyeing him up in that top.”

“Well, it didn’t okay? He’s the straightest man -” Robin scoffed. “- I’ve ever had to share a bed with, and even if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t do anything.”

“What? Why not?” she asked.

“Because as soon as we get in contact with the Byers, I’m going to have to reset all of this and Steve won’t remember anything. Every extra day I’m in this goddamn loop I lose more of myself - I’ll be damned if it takes that away from me too.”

Her face dropped, and for a brief moment Eddie felt guilty that he had allowed himself to explode at her like that. The next moment Robin had wrapped him in a surprisingly strong embrace, patting his back lightly.

“I’m sorry your life sucks so much at the moment.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, allowing himself to melt into her arms. “Thanks Buckley.”

“No problemo.” She allowed him a few more moments, before pulling away and holding him by his shoulders, catching his eyes and giving him a hopeful smile, “Us gays have got to stick together, right?” 

He found a smile on his face despite himself, rolling his eyes fondly, “Yeah. We do.”

“And that means that when you do reset the loop, you have to promise that you’ll be my friend again.” She said it in a joking tone, but Eddie could see the worry behind her eyes, almost as if she didn’t want to push him too far.

“I don’t think I could see you as anything else, Buckley.” He reassured, offering her a smile, “I’ll always be your friend, even if you aren’t always mine.”

Robin shoved him lightly, a pleased blush spreading across her face. “I always thought you were cool, Munson. Scary? Sure. But always cool.”

Eddie laughed, scrunching his nose up at her bashful face, “You’re going to fully inflate my ego, you do realise that?”

She scoffed, linking their arms together and guiding him back towards the RV. “I’m depending on you to not get as big headed as Steve-o, I can only handle so much bigheadedness.”

“Hey!” Steve complained, the two having reached hearing distance, “That better not have been about me Robin!”

She fake-gasped, free hand coming up to her chest, “Why, I would never insult my best friend in such a way!”

Eddie grinned wickedly, raising an eyebrow, “Though the fact that you heard ‘bigheaded’ and immediately thought we were talking about you says something.”

Nancy huffed a laugh, the small action catching Steve’s attention, the man turning to her with an affronted look on his face. 

She simply shrugged, smiling. “He has a point.”

"It’s the hair!” He protested, gesturing wildly to his head.

“Sure thing, Stevie boy.” Robin laughed, patting him on the shoulder as she passed.

“You know,” Steve drawled, voice dry with sarcasm, “I think I preferred it when you were still too anxious about all this upside-down shit to be snarky.”

Nancy rolled her eyes, looking at Eddie with a pointed look, “They’re ridiculous”

“You can say that again,” He agreed, sticking his tongue out at Robin as she moved to complain.

Nancy’s face went slightly more serious then, an unspoken apology shining in her eyes before turning to Steve. “That reminds me, they’ve set up emergency response in the school gym. People have been asking for you... they’re about to add you to the missing peoples board.”

Robin’s expression fell to match the change in mood. “My mom has asked for you, all but said that if you dont spend the night that she’ll put the report in herself.”

Steve faltered slightly, “She... what?”

Eddie could tell he had some reservations, so pushed his own worries to the back of his mind and nudged him lightly. “I told you - people give a shit about you Harrington. You need to let them.”

This caught Steve’s attention, a frown marring his face, “But what about y-”

“I’ll be fine. Honest.”

Nancy crossed her arms, “Are you sure -”

“Believe it or not, I’m not exactly racing to shoot my brains out.” At their spluttered protests, Eddie just shook his head. “Look, I appreciate the sentiment of putting me on suicide watch, but I won’t let all of this be for nothing. Besides, I made a promise to Lucas - I’m not going anywhere until I have a plan to prevent Max from...” He trailed off, a flash of her injuries crossing his mind. 

Steve closed the distance between them, pulling Eddie into a hug. “I’ll just show my face around town for a few hours tomorrow morning and come right back, okay?”

Eddie savoured the feeling of being encompassed in his surprisingly strong arms, patting him on the back after a few moments. He cleared his throat as they parted, offering him a short smile. “No need to rush on back - I’m not going anywhere.”

“We will though.” Robin said, “Rush back, that is. We won’t leave you here any longer than we have to.”

“Honestly, it’s fine.” He accepted her hug as well, smiling into her hair, ”Just - work on contacting the Byers, ok?”

“We will.” Nancy replied, determination pouring off of her in waves. She didn’t approach him for a hug - not that Eddie was surprised, considering he was half convinced she hated him - instead getting close enough to lower her voice, Steve and Robin already near the treeline.

“I know it might not seem like it,” she started, holding eye contact with him, “But we won’t rest until we get you out of this - you just need to trust us too.”

He offered her a small smile, “I know. Thanks Wheeler.”

She nodded, patting his arm as she passed.

-

That night was one of the hardest yet.

Eddie had spent the majority of the evening pacing back and forth, to the point he made himself dizzy with it. The silence of the RV was overwhelming, and he had almost gone mad from it when the buzz of the walkie talkie brought him out of his own thoughts. 

“Eddie?”

He leapt for it, recognising the helplessness in Lucas’ voice.

“I’m here.”

A choked off sob echoed through the static. Eddie’s heart clenched, nails digging into his thigh as he willed himself to stay strong.

“I need - I need you to tell me again.”

“Anything.”

“You - I need to know that this isn’t permanent. That Max is okay - will be okay.”

The weakness in Lucas’ voice was foreign, and it sounded as if he had spent the majority of the day crying. There was a hoarseness to his words, as if he was fighting with himself even to get the words out. 

“Lucas, I promised you before and I’ll promise you again now. I will fix this.”

“I just - can you tell me something that you wouldn't know. Please - I don't want to sound like I’m doubting you -”

“Don't be stupid, Sinclair. I...” He pinched the bridge of his nose, eyebrows furrowing in thought. “You - your favourite song is Want You Back by Jackson 5. Will suggested it to you as a joke when you told him that you and Max had broken up but you actually loved it.”

He took his finger off of the button, letting out a sigh and pressing the walkie to his forehead at the lack of response. After an agonising minute, it crackled back to life.

“Thanks.”

The short answer would have usually worried him, but he could hear the thickness of tears in his voice, so decided not to push it.

“I swear to you Lucas, now that I know what happens, we can fix this. We will fix this. You’ve just got to trust me, okay?”

“Yeah - I know, Eddie.”

“Get some sleep man, you’ll need it - you going to see her again tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Say hi for me?”

That won him a small laugh, Eddie relaxing slightly.

“Go on and get rested, okay?”

“You too. Over and out.”

Silence returned, Eddie let out a deep sigh, placing the walkie on the table and throwing himself on to the pull out bed. He focused on the memory of Steve laying beside him, doing his best to ignore the crushing weight of the group’s expectation as he waited on sleep to claim him.

-

He must have fallen asleep at some point, only waking up as the RV door sprang open. 

“Eddie!”

He practically flew out of bed, disoriented but aware of the urgency. “Wha?”

“Jonathon showed up this morning - they’re all here.”

“Fuck - oh, shit.” He scrambled forwards, rubbing his hands across his eyes. “How?”

“Pizza van - it’s hard to explain, just come out here.”

Squinting at the sudden increase in light, he followed Nancy outside, lighting up at the sight of Mike and Jonathon stood by a group he didn’t recognise. 

“Holy shit Wheeler, I never thought I’d be so glad to see you” he grinned, opening his arms to accept the hug as Mike rushed towards him.

The boy huffed a laugh, stepping back, “How the hell did you find yourself in the middle of this?”

“Honestly? No fucking clue, man.” Eddie looked past him, offering a polite nod to Jonathon, before moving his gaze to the others. “Im guessing that’s Will and El?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled, walking forwards and offering the two a handshake, “Cool, I’ve heard a lot about both of you - Wheeler never shuts up about you.”

“Really?” Will asked, redness creeping up his neck. El just smiled.

“Yeah. Hey, when we’ve fixed the world, you’ll have to come along to one of our sessions - maybe even join a campaign if you’re sticking around.”

Will beamed at this, flush now reaching his face. “I - yeah I’d love that.”

Eddie moved his attention to the man with long hair stood by the van. “Sorry dude I don’t know who you are.”

“No worries my guy, I’m Argyle.”

“He’s my friend.” Jonathon explained, “He got us here - Nancy said something about a time loop?”

Eddie clapped his hands together, distantly registering that Argyle had wandered off, “Well, going right into the deep end, huh.”

Nancy gave him an apologetic look. By her side, El watched him with a look that was not unlike distrust.

“I realise how it sounds -”

Jonathon cut him off then, the withdrawn boy he knew from school seemingly finding new confidence surrounded by those closest to him. Eddie felt pride in how much he seemed to have found himself, having always been friendly with him during the last couple of years at school.

“Nancy believes you. That’s enough for me - for us.” He shot El a look, before stepping forwards, “So what do you need from us.”

Nancy smiled at her boyfriend’s words, moving to hold his hand as she spoke, “We need a plan - a real plan.”

“Was there a way I could contact you? A phone maybe?”

“No,” Johnathon replied, looking guilty, “We were almost always driving. We stopped off at a payphone or two along the way, but I didn’t look at the numbers for them.”

Argyle, who up until this point was inspecting a mushroom he picked, looked up with a small smile, “Oh, you mean any phone?”

Eddie looked at him hopefully, “Yes. Yes, anything I could contact you on.”

“Oh, sure my dude. My sweet angel Eden gave me her digits.”

The group watched in shock as Argyle listed off the numbers.

“Do you think - could you write that down for me?”

“No worries brochacho. Get me a pen and paper and I’ve gotchu.” He looked Eddie up and down, “And can I just say, I’m loving the tatties.”

“Thanks man.”

-

By the time Steve pulled up to the clearing with Robin and Dustin in tow, Eddie had a basic timeline of the Cali group’s journey jotted down on paper, phone number etched at the top.

El hovered nervously by the newcomers, “Lucas?”

“With Erica - their parents wouldnt let them out of their sight.” Steve replied, “Probably for the best - he didn’t look too good.”

Eddie’s heart clenched, clearing his throat as he ruffled Dustin’s hair, smiling over his head at Steve. “Did you help out at the centre?”

“For a bit, yeah.” He nodded, a sly grin creeping on to his lips, “I was mostly watching Robin get flirted with at the PB&J station.”

“I -She - I was not!”

“Oh please, they were nervous rambling almost as much as you were!”

Robin spluttered, face now fully red as she slapped Steve’s arm in protest. The two of them devolved into bickering, Eddie’s attention instead grabbed by Dustin.

The boy was being uncharacteristically quiet, sticking by Eddie’s side despite his friends being just steps away.

“You okay, kid?”

“I -” his voice faltered, “Your uncle was there.”

Eddie faltered, suddenly feeling incredibly unbalanced. 

He had been so focused on escaping the loop that he hadn’t dared even think about his uncle - the one adult in his life that actually gave a shit, had raised him like his own. The two of them had never gone that long without seeing each other since the day Wayne had taken him in. Sure, with him going to school and Wayne working the nightshift the time they had was limited, but they had always made sure to have dinner/breakfast together when they could. 

“Shit. Was he -” He cleared the emotion from his voice, “Is he okay?”

“He looked tired... I wanted go up to him, but -”

Eddie placed his hand on Dustin’s shoulder, using the contact to ground himself as much as comforting the younger boy. “I wouldn’t have asked you to do that, it’s okay.”

“He was putting up your missing poster - people had drawn on the last one.”

“Well they all think I’m a murderer so that doesn’t surprise me much.”

“They what?” Mike had stepped forwards at this, frown firm on his face.

Dustin smacked his hand to his forehead, “I forgot to tell you.”

“Yeah! Yeah you did!”

Eddie huffed a laugh, extending his hands to the sky and giving a sarcastic half bow, “Eddie Munson, mass murderer and satanic cult leader, at your service.”

Mike screeched at that, “That’s ridiculous!”

“Yeah well, lets be honest this whole fucking shit situation is ridiculous.”

“Which is why” Steve interrupted, wiggling out of Robin’s faux-wrestling grip, “We’re going to fix all of this, right?”

Nancy jumped on the opportunity. “Right. We now have Eden’s number, a way to contact the Cali group and a timeline of roughly where they were and when. So all we’ve got to do now is make it work.”

“Eden?” Dustin asked, looking at Will for an explanation.

“Oh, yeah. We went to Suzie’s house.”

“My Suzie?”

“Yeah. She hacked into a government database for you.”

Dustin smiled sappily, “I love her.”

“Gross.”

-

He had been staring at the paper for about an hour while the others began cleaning up Hopper’s cabin, willing his mind to remember the numbers, when a hand fell on the small of his back. Eddie withheld a smile, leaning in to the touch slightly.

“What are you going to do with it?” Steve asked, sitting so close that his knees bumped against Eddie’s.

“They said they got to the house around 2pm. If I can get to a phone in time, I can tell them a way to get back here quicker.”

“The way being..?”

Eddie sighed, burying his head in to his hands, “I haven’t got that far.”

Steve hummed, leaning back against the porch railing. “They said they couldn’t get a flight... what if we booked one for them from an airport right by where they pick up El?”

“Do you think that would work?”

“Yeah. Just book it under Johnathon’s name and tell him where to pick up the tickets. Worse case scenario, you have to delay us going in to the Upside Down for a day.”

Eddie looked at him, “You know, you’re actually smarter than you let on.”

Steve flushed, avoiding eye contact as he looked out into the trees, “And you’re braver than you let us believe.”

“Oh really? How so?”

“The way you’ve taken this all on and haven’t - I dont know - fallen apart.”

“We’ve been over this,” Eddie said, with light humour laced through his words, “I have fallen apart over this whole thing multiple times.”

“And picked yourself back up.”

“As if I had a choice.”

Steve huffed at this, knocking his shoulder against Eddies in lieu of a response. “You’re impossible.”

“As if you’re any less impossible” he huffed, “You know through all of these loops, you still refuse to tell me what your favourite song is?”

A slight flush tinged the tips of his ears, Eddie laughing as he poked them fondly, “It can’t be that bad, surely!”

“No comment.”

“Oh come on Harrington, now you’re just teasing me!” he leaned closer, smirking as the blush spread to his cheeks, “Now I’ve really got to know.”

“I - fine. But not a word to anyone.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

A barely audible mumble was his response, Eddie huffing beside him, “No one could possibly hear that!”

Steve rolled his eyes, though dutifully repeated himself, “Gimme gimme gimme.”

“By ABBA?” Eddie guffawed, bursting into laughter as Steve elbowed him in the side, frowning despite his flushed face. “Oh that’s amazing - truly.”

“Fuck you, man.”

Steve went to get up, stopped by Eddie’s hand in his. “Im sorry - I’m not laughing at you -”

“You are!”

“I’m not! It’s just funny to me that you were guarding that secret so closely this whole time.”

A smile broke through his frown, the man relaxing once more. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Sure you do - well, personally I think its adorable.”

God, Eddie could look at Steve’s smiling face all day and never get bored. As he allowed the moment to linger, he had the sudden sharp realisation that sooner than later, looking at Steve would not the same - the fond smile replaced with a look of near-indifference or pity.

He cursed himself for allowing to fall into... whatever the hell this is. He negated the feeling of self-loathing by recalling Wayne’s favourite saying - ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’. If this was going to hurt like hell, he was going to make it worth it.

“I -” Steve looked as if he was going to say something, stopping himself just as his mouth opened.

He moved away from Eddie slightly as Dustin approached. Before he could mourn the loss of contact, Dustin stood in front of them with his arms crossed.

“I just keep thinking - what if you cut out the first trip to the upside down completely.”

“Okay - back up” Steve replied, “What are you talking about?”

“The gate in Lovers Lake! You said that the only thing you did when you were down there was work out that it was frozen in time, yes?” He didn’t wait for them to reply before continuing, Eddie and Steve exchanging knowing glances, “So why go at all? We would save so much time if instead we made it to the War Zone a day early - and we’d miss Jason and his goons too!”

“One problem, Henderson,” Eddie said, raising an eyebrow at him, “I hardly got everyone to believe me during this loop. Nancy and Robin were only convinced once I showed them the upside down, and how I knew what was going to happen.”

“So, go get a code word from them too.” Dustin stated, as if it were obvious, “It worked for us, it’ll work for them too.”

“I hate to make his big head any bigger, but the kid has a point.” Steve stuck his tongue out at Dustin’s ‘hey!’, before turning to Eddie. “It could work.”

“You’re forgetting that we still have to get El and the Byers back here-” Eddie cut himself off, slapping his forehead, “The kids don’t need to be arrested.”

“Thanks for th-”

“Dustin. Shush.”

“If we go straight from Skull Rock to the trailer park, we can book the plane tickets over the phone and then catch them as they get to your girlfriends house -”

“Meaning they can get here quicker -”

“And we can miss Jason, like I said -”

“So full of himself.”

“I know right - it’s his tone.”

“I’m right here!”

Eddie waved him off, face falling as he remembered the early loops, “We need another way out of the forest. Every time I tried distracting us from Lover’s Lake I ended up getting shot.” He ignored their shouts for explanation, furrowing his brow in concentration. “I suppose... if we go in the other direction and loop round through the forest to the trailer park...”

Steve nodded slowly, “It could work. How long is the flight time?”

“Uhh, roughly 4 hours? 5 at most.” Dustin replied.

“Okay, so if we assume that they’ll get the plane right after getting El which is...” He trailed off, looking over the timetable, “By afternoon the next day, then all we have to do is find some way to pick them up from the airport and get them back in time to go with us into the upside down for the final battle.”

“You know,” Eddie huffed, sarcasm lacing his words, “the easy stuff.”

“Now that El has her powers back she could help take out Vecna. Steve could stay with Lucas and Max to deal with Jason.”

“And miss a chance to kill Vecna? I don’t think so.”

“As much as I love your seeming desire to need to be the hero, I’m telling you right now, Max needs you there. If El can fight Vecna face to face then she has a higher chance of doing some real damage.” Eddie frowned as Steve went to protest. “You didn’t see her, man. She - they need you there.”

Dustin just nodded, a shadow falling across his face as he remembered. 

Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair before giving a reluctant nod. “Okay. Fine.”

The sound of tyres on dirt broke through the ambience of the forest, Eddie scrambling to his feet at the sight of a sleek black car. “Shit - is that the government?”

Steve jumped to his feet beside him, grabbing him by the arm and starting to run, Eddie doing his best to keep up. Dustin’s yell from behind them made Steve stop suddenly, Eddie smacking full force into his back.

“Ow.”

“It’s okay!” Dustin shouted, waving them back over, “They’re on our side!”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Eddie said, eyes wide as he looked at Steve for an explanation, chest heaving from the sudden exercise. “The government?”

The ex-jock just shrugged, “It’s been a weird few years.”

-

They walked back to what seemed to be a family reunion, Hopper hugging WIll as El rested her head on Joyce’s shoulder, Jonathon and Mike following them as they went inside the broken-down cabin.

Eddie called out to stop the others following them, realising that this was the perfect time to gather the last round of intel he needed.

“Okay, I just need one thing from all of you - something that you would never in a million years tell me. Dustin, I already have your one. I also have something for Lucas.”

Everyone looked at him, hesitant to say anything. Eddie couldnt tell if it was because they were hesitant to admit things in front of the group, or if they knew what it meant for him to receive the answers.

Robin sighed dramatically, stepping forwards and breaking the silence. 

“I guess I’ll go first - Shirley McClain.”

Steve huffed a laugh at this, and the two of them shared a look. 

Nancy stepped forwards, “I keep guns under my bed.”

“I actually did know that,” Eddie said, holding his hands up, “But that will work - okay.. Steve?”

“Tommy tried to kiss me after a fight with Carol.”

Eddie blinked, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. Steve’s eyes were set firmly on the floor, hands in his pockets. 

“Uh - right. Okay, I think that’s everyone except Max -”

“Tell her about how we played the game with the coke glass.” El was stood in the doorway, fingers clenched on the doorframe. “She’ll know.”

Eddie nodded, willing himself to remember everything. “Hopefully that works...” He caught Dustin’s eye, cracking a smile, “At least you’ll believe me if this doesn’t.”

The boy grinned, and the innocent expression reminded him just how young he actually was. Not allowing himself to linger on that thought too long, he took one final look at the cheat sheet he had scribbled on, panic beginning to set in as he saw the agent that had dropped the adults off about to get into her car.

“Wait! Excuse me can I just -” he ran over to her, stealing the pistol from her hip holster. “Sorry - I swear you can have it right back, I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

Before she could protest, Eddie strode back over to the group, gun in one hand, and softly grasped Steve’s cheek in his other. 

“Eddie?” His name on Steve’s tongue sounded like a prayer - something that was murmured with a sense of loving something intangible. 

He allowed himself to believe the impossibility of his feelings being returned, murmuring a half-hearted “Fuck it” before leaning in and connecting their lips.

The kiss was soft, Steve making a small surprised noise before melting into it, hands reaching up and grabbing on to Eddie’s hair. He used the grip to pull their bodies closer together, desperate for closeness. It lasted for mere moments before Eddie pulled away, knowing that if he continued he’d never have the strength to let go.

Eddie allowed himself to rest his forehead against Steve’s for a few moments, trying to commit the sound of his breathing to heart. “I’m sorry” he breathed, stepping fully out of his arms.

“Wait -” Steve said, eyes wild.

He forced himself to turn around, hearing Robin and Nancy jump to hold Steve back as Eddie began to run towards the treeline. 

“No - no! Eddie! Ed - dont you dare let me forget!”

He could feel tears begin to run down his face, stopping once he was covered by the trees, pointing the gun at his temple with shaking hands.

The gunshot echoed through the forest.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson being a bamf #eddie munson x steve harrginton #eddie x steve #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #fic #stranger things #fanfiction #fanfic

[clintbartonswife]

Eddie Munson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson Warnings: mentions of death, violence, gay pining and dustin being a little shit Summary: Eddie gets stuck in a time loop, the universe is a bitch and no matter how many times he seems to die he can’t get Steve Harrington’s smile out of his head.

Word count: 18.9k    (part one of three)  ||   part two

-

Eddie was fucked.

Completely and utterly fucked.

No matter the outcome of today, he always would be. 

The people of Hawkins were out for his blood, fucking demobats were clawing their way into the twisted version of his uncle’s trailer, but he just couldn’t get the image of Steve’s smile out of his head.

That was stupid, considering he was pretty sure he was going to die.

“Eddie come on! Let’s go!”

The rational part of his brain, the one part desperately clamouring to any sanity he had left, begged him to run. 

It would be easy, laughably easy in fact, to follow Dustin through the gate and back to relative safety. To bunker down and wait. Follow the plan.

But he knew, as much as he was a coward, that he would do anything for those kids. 

Max was risking her ass to save him, voluntarily walking into the jaws of the beast, guarded only by Lucas and Erica. Not that Eddie thought they weren’t capable - the Sinclair siblings were a force to be reckoned with - but against Vecna? In no way was that a fair fight.

Not to mention Nancy, Robin and Steve were on their way in to the heart of the upside down. Their job was hard enough without the demobats losing interest in his bait.

And Dustin. The idiot brother he never had.

The demobats were almost through the door, and after that it would only be seconds before they swarmed through the gate. Dustin wouldn’t be able to fight them off, and this would’ve all been for nothing.

“Eddie, you’re so close!” Dustin was jumping up and down again, though the excited smile from yesterday had gone, this time replaced with pure fear. “Eddie, lets go!”

Those fuckers weren’t going to take him.

Before he was aware of his body moving, Eddie’s feet returned to the floor of the trailer, determination filling his every pore. Doing his best to ignore Dustin’s pained shouts, he grabbed his makeshift spear, cutting the bedsheet rope with a yell.

Dustin would be better off, he told himself as he ran outside, spear and shield in hand. He’d be alive, and Steve would be there to take care of him. All of them would be happy, and thriving, without having to deal with any of the shit that now came with being associated with him.

In his final moments, as he lay dying in the lap of a kid he saw as a brother, he only wished that Dustin had stayed in relative safety. He didn’t have to see him die like that.

An even more selfish part of him was glad to not be alone.

-

His eyes flew open as a dull pain radiated across the back of his head.

“Ah - fuck -” 

As awareness snapped back to him, he scrambled to his feet, hand reflexively flying to his abdomen. At the lack of blood, he let out a string of curse words, free hand tugging painfully on his hair.

“I’m having a psychotic break,” he said to the trees, manic laughter escaping him as he took in his surroundings, “Or I fell asleep. I - yep. I sat down and fell asleep...”

His eyes locked on to the walkie that lay abandoned on the dirt, scrambling for it.

“Dustin, can you hear me?” He brushed off the sense of deja-vu, panic lighting up his entire body, “Wheeler?”

“Something happened?” Nancy asked, voice tinged with panic, “We’re almost there Eddie-”

The signal cut out, Robin speaking into it moments later “- Dustin is just getting us lost-” She was interrupted, though kept the button held down so that Eddie could hear the rest of the conversation

“I am not!”

Steve spoke next, “I’m telling you, we’re going the wrong way.”

“The compass says this way.” Dustin said, in the tone that suggested everyone else was stupid.

Robin spoke once again, “Just hang in a bit longer, okay?” She lowered her voice to a whisper, “I want to eavesdrop on the young lovebirds.”

“Rob-!”

The signal cut out with the beginning of Nancy’s scolding, Eddie dropping his head into his hands. He tried to shake off the feeling of foreboding, slapping his cheeks to get out of his funk.

“Get it together Munson. You’re not dead yet.”

-

By the time he had stepped foot on to the boat later that day, watching Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington take his top off, he had all but forgotten his weird dream. 

It was just too easy to watch Steve volunteer to jump into the lake, to hold his discarded t-shirt close to his body and do his best to ignore the heat in his cheeks as he watched him dive in with perfect form.

Eddie zoned out staring at the water, chewing his lip anxiously as he waited for Steve.

“Oh Christ!” He flinched as Steve resurfaced, hair still somehow looking good as he swam to the side of the boat.

“I found it.”

“You found it?”

“I found it. Yeah, I-”

Before he registered what was happening, Eddie dropped the shirt and lurched forwards to grab Steve, hauling him back into the boat.

“What the he-” Steve’s complaint was cut off as the tentacle that had been reaching for his leg grabbed Eddie by the wrist, dragging him down into the water.

As he lay on the floor in the upside down, once again being gnawed on by demobats, Eddie’s thoughts wandered back to the dream. Maybe it was some kind of cosmic warning - one that he not only manages to ignore, but somehow trick fate into killing him a day early.

That seemed to be his kind of luck.

He fought off as many of their biting heads as he could, movements slowing as more and more of his body was stripped away. 

“Eddie!”

Distantly, he registered a frantic Steve running towards him, oar held aloft. 

He looked gorgeous.

-

“Fuck -” He sprang to his feet, eyes wild as they took in the familiar shape of skull rock. “Oh Jesus.”

He spent the next few minutes, pacing back and forth, hands tangling in his hair as he tried to understand his current predicament.

He must have been pacing for longer than he was aware, as Dustin’s sudden appearance by his side scared him half to death.

“Jesus H Christ, Dustin!”

“Woah-” Steve jogged over to their side, hand landing protectively on Dustin’s shoulder.

“I - sorry, man. You scared the shit out of me.”

The kid smiled warily, moving out from Steve’s hold and patting Eddie on the back, “It’s alright Eddie. We’re here now.”

He bit back a harsh laugh, “Nah man, it’s not okay.”

“I know -”

“No, you don’t know.” He rubbed his hands across his face, holding back a scream. 

Lucas looked at him weirdly from his place by the entrance to the clearing. “We don’t know what?” 

Eddie threw his arms up in the air, an incredulous smile on his face, “I keep dying!”

The group looked at him as if he had gone insane, and as he let the dark laughter bubble out of him, he thought they might be right.

Dustin was the one to break the uncomfortable silence - of course he was. The kid was too nice for his own good. “Eddie... you what?”

“I have died ...” He took a deep breath, “Twice.”

“You can’t have died -”

“I know! I know it sounds crazy, but I’m telling you. I have.” He was pacing again. “I got eaten alive by those fucking demobats-”

Dustin perked up, “Demobats? Like demogorgan bats?”

“Yeah, you’re the one that named them, dude.”

He grinned, “Sounds like me.”

Lucas frowned, “Wait, bats?”

“In the upside down - they’re there every time.”

“What? Where-?”

Max was the one to scoff, “Oh come on, you cant be seriously agreeing with him right now! He’s suffering a mental break. He’s taken what you told him at the boathouse and got it all twisted up in his mind-” She caught his eye, her tone blunt but kind, “I get how messed up this is Eddie. I do, but to keep dying..?”

Nancy turned to him sympathetically, “You have been through a lot... are you sure it wasn’t just a bad dream?”

Eddie dug his fingers into the flesh of his arm, realising he was fighting a loosing battle. Steve looked at him weirdly, and the expression sent a pain through his chest. 

Freak. 

He thought Eddie was a freak.

He choked down his panic, flattening his expression in to a grimace. “Sure. Sure, I - Yeah.”

He ignored the strained look that Dustin gave him, brushing past the group and sitting heavily next to his walkie, tucking in to the box of cereal Nancy had dropped on the ground.

That loop ended with water clogging up his lungs, flailing about as he once again failed to save Steve from being dragged into the upside down. The last thing he saw was Steve’s soulless eyes staring back at him.

--

After that mess - and because Eddie couldn’t deal with being looked at as if he was crazy again - he decided to keep his discovery to himself. At least until he had more evidence to support his claim.

The discovery in question? He was in a fucking time loop.

At some point his rational brain had kicked in, his mind was racing with different D&D strategies. One of the first things he always preached to the newcomers in Hellfire?

Perception check.

He spent the next few loops simply observing, following the plan as set out by Nancy and making a mental list.

The gate at lovers lake.

The demobats. 

Talking to the kids through the lights.

Hijacking a mobile home. 

Going to the army surplus shop.

Performing the hell out of Master of Puppets.

He did his best to avoid any alone time with Steve, the stubborn crush that he was developing was only distracting him.

Each loop seemed to inevitably end with him dying in Dustin’s arms. 

No matter how hard he made it for the kid to steal back into the upside down, he always found a way.

Once, Eddie had literally gone through the trouble of not only blocking the gate, but making it impossible to get out of the trailer. The clever little shit had instead run down the road to the gate past the forest, jumping through and arriving at Eddie’s side just before he took his last breath.

Eddie didnt know if he was more annoyed or proud.

-

After he had gathered enough information, he started to try and make bigger changes.

At first he tried sticking to his original plan of pulling Steve out of the water before the tentacle could grab him, but after the fifth time of being dragged down by his neck, he changed it up a bit. 

Robin could make it through with little incident, though the looks both Steve and Nancy gave him for suggesting it just wasn’t worth it, especially not when Robin had a panic attack in the woods on the way to the Wheeler house. She made a point of telling everyone how she was ‘going to lose all sense of self and become a big angry rabies monster’ and through her stuttered breathing managed to tell them that ‘the incubation period can be as small as two days, but by then it’d be too late because I’d be dead, Steve. Super, super dead.’

Nancy was talked into diving in the next loop, and whilst she made it through with less injury than Steve, Robin was impaled in her rush to follow her. Steve sobbing when dragging her body out of the lake - “Please Rob. You can’t leave me like this” - was something that Eddie never wanted to hear again.

That sound seemed stuck in his ears for the next few loops.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out that he had to leave the Lovers Lake events just the way they were. Steve was a big boy, and seemed to be the only one that could handle being literally choked out by a demon bat. Only change to be made was to convince Steve to keep his shoes on - the shirt could stay off for... reasons.

Then all he had to do was follow the others into the lake, kick the shit out of some upside down creatures, and get the fuck out of there. Namely, back to Skull Rock, where he could watch Steve get patched up by resident nurse Nancy Wheeler.

Maybe it was wrong of him to say, but he didn’t know anyone could look so attractive when in that much pain. Eddie tried to distract himself from the image of Steve making those same pained moans in his bed by throwing his vest at his chest.

If a possessive part of him found pride in watching Steve walk around in his jacket, then that was nobody’s business but his.

-

He had wondered if there was any way to avoid the first trip to the Upside Down completely, but both times he had tried to redirect the group away from Lover’s Lake, they had run into the police. 

The first time, an angry hick had followed the police on their search, cocking their shotgun and shooting as soon as they saw him. Issue was, as confident as he may have been holding the gun, his aim was shit and instead managed to blast a hole through Lucas’ stomach. In the chaos of that moment, the kids screaming and police running, he had reloaded and sent a shot directly through Eddie’s chest.

The next time, he tried distracting them out the other direction, but Dustin was so determined to prove his magnet-breaking compass theory that he ran off towards the lake on his own, Max chasing after him just in time to push him out of the way as a tentacle reached up through the water. 

The following argument had attracted the attention of the police search party, the same angry hick shooting him in the gut from the tree line. It took longer to bleed out, though he found sick satisfaction in watching the police body tackle the man before his vision blurred too much to see.

Eddie decided that he really didn’t like being shot, and that he could handle the cold darkness of the Upside Down.

-

The walks through the upside down during their initial visit, surprisingly, became Eddie’s main source of comfort.

Sure, there was little difference between the conversations had by the group, to the point where he was beginning to learn them by heart, but the little break between constant terror was incredibly important to his sanity.

He had soon begun using this time to shamelessly flirt with Steve - his crush was too far gone now to be ignored - whilst the girls’ talked amongst themselves up ahead. He figured there was no harm no foul, and Steve was too busy trying to survive an evil monster to put too much energy into being homophobic.

That’s if he ever noticed Eddie was being genuine with his compliments.

As pretty as Steve was, he was apparently incredibly dense when it came to realising he was being flirted with.

“Come on man, Ozzy Ozbourne? Black Sabbath?” At Steve’s blank look, Eddie huffed a laugh. No matter how many times he had tried to explain it, Steve had always met him with a blank look.

“I don’t -”

“It doesnt matter, what I’m trying to say is it’s very metal... what you did.”

Steve gave him a hesitant smile, and god how he loves that smile. “Thanks?”

That loop ended slightly earlier than before, Jason spotting him as he popped out of the RV to use the public toilets just outside the War Zone, levelling the gun at his head and, to the jeering of his jock friends, pulling the trigger.

-

He only tried to include Dustin in his plan once.

He had brought him aside before heading into the upside down for the final assault, and Dustin had believed him after seeing the madness growing in Eddie’s eyes. 

“Have you told me before?”

“Once, yeah. My second loop.”

“Did I...” he trailed off, seeing his answer in Eddie’s expression, “Damn. I’m sorry, man.”

“Don’t be, I would’ve thought you were playing a prank on me if you had said that shit.”

Dustin snorted, though the humour fell from his face as the implication set in, “How long have you been stuck?”

“Sixty two loops. Give or take a few.”

The boy hissed, wincing, “So you’ve -”

“Died viciously over fifty times? Yep.”

“You haven’t... done it yourself though, right?”

Eddie shook his head viciously, “No. Almost every time its been the demobats.” He laughed, lifting his sleeve up to show him his tattoo, “Kinda ironic, isn’t it?”

Dustin shook his head fondly, readjusting his grip on his spear as his expression turned dark, “We’ll need a codeword, something that you can tell me so I believe you.”

“Don’t think we’ll get it this time?”

Eddie’s joke fell short.

“This is the first time you’ve let me help. I haven’t had time to really use my genius yet. I’m just covering our bases.” He shrugged, smirking slightly, “Who knows, if you had told me straight away you might’ve been out of this by now.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, grabbing Dustin by the head and messing his hair up, “Don’t go getting too big for your boots there, Henderson.”

The two of them laughed, and for a few moments it was nice to forget the absolute shitstorm they were about to enter into.

“Farrah Fawcet” The name came out of nowhere, and Eddie looked at Dustin weirdly, waiting for him to elaborate. “The codeword should be Farrah Fawcett.”

“Like... the actress?”

“Yes.”

“Can I ask why?”

Dustin levelled him with a serious look, “I promised to never say.”

Eddie raised in hands in surrender, “Roger that.”

That time, before plugging in the amp, Dustin grabbed his arm. “Promise me you’ll tell me.”

“You won’t remember any of this-”

“So not the point, man. Promise me, and -” he averted his eyes, “don’t kill yourself.”

“As much as I’ve grown acquainted with death recently, I can assure you suicide is still not that high up on my bucket list...” He trailed off, Dustin looking at him expectantly. With a sigh, Eddie nodded, “Fine. I’ll do my best.”

Dustin held his gaze for a few moments, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. “Let’s do this.”

-

As Dustin bled out in his arms, Eddie screamed at the sky and begged the gods to take him instead. He would quite happily die a thousand times over if it meant he never had to see him choke on his own blood again.

Damn the promise, damn the surviving, damn everything.

As soon as he stopped moving, Eddie grabbed his spear, cupping Dustin’s cold cheek with his spare hand and looking into the red sky.

“Sorry, Dustin.”

He then proceeded to shove it through his chest.

-

After that, he ran.

He ran from the group, ran from the lake. Ran until his feet stopped dead in front of a familiar hedge - the Harrington house.

He had visited a few years prior, to deal weed at one of ‘King Steve’s infamous parties. He knew the way to the back gate, breaking open the back door and making his way directly to the front room, the glass shelves of alcohol standing proudly.

He instinctively reached for the bottle of whiskey, popping the top off and chugging the rest of the bottle. Wincing at the sharp taste, his shaking hands grabbed another bottle at random, gritting his teeth before pouring that bottle down his throat.

He stumbled over to the radio, turning it on to fill the suffocating silence of the room, letting out a crazed laugh as the beginning notes of ‘I’m Still Standing’ began to fill the house. 

The universe had a sick sense of humour. 

“Fuck you!” he shouted, throwing the empty whiskey bottle at the wall, smiling as the bottle shattered to pieces. As he worked his way through the booze, the front room became increasingly filled with smashed glass. There was something incredibly cathartic about trashing the place, releasing all the pent up emotions within him.

With only a bottle of wine left, he stumbled his way out to the backyard, losing his footing at the edge of the pool. His head hit the coping around the edge of the pool, body ricocheting into the water. 

Different to the blind panic he felt in Lovers Lake, the pool had an aura of calm. The slightly warm water seemed to guide him gently to the bottom, and Eddie couldn’t find it in himself to fight the pull.

For twenty consecutive loops, he continued to visit the Harrington’s house, drinking himself into a stupor with their fancy liqueurs, and always dying as the pool embraced him in it’s unforgiving arms.

Still, the image of Dustin’s empty face remained.  

--

Finally sick of waking up with a consistent hang over - fucking time loops should get rid of the alcohol’s effects, surely - he stopped running, too tired to keep going.

He must have been massaging his temples for too long, as Steve’s voice echoed through the clearing. “Oh, boom! Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face.”

“Doesn’t make sense...”

Eddie’s heart clenched painfully at the sound of Dustin’s voice, his hands creeping up to dig his nails into his scalp. He couldn’t make himself look up.

“Even with it staring you in the face, you can't admit it. Can't admit you're wrong, you butthead.”

Eddie could feel the practiced words at the base of his throat, but his body felt too heavy, too tired. He instead stayed half-hunched over in the crook of Skull Rock.

“Where is - hey, Eddie?” Dustin’s voice got closer, boots entering his vision as a light hand landed on his shoulder, “Ed?”

A sob ripped it’s way out of his throat, and before he knew it he was pulling Dustin into a crushing hug.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” he said into his shoulder, words muffled.

Dustin, confused, just patted Eddie’s back, murmuring reassurance. “We saw - we didn’t know what to think.”

Peeking up from behind his hair, he saw Steve ushering the rest of them to turn around. Eddie was glad not to have too much of an audience.

Once he had gathered himself, he pulled away from Dustin, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry, man.”

Dustin just shrugged, eyes sad, “It’s okay.”

“Seriously dude,” Steve said, “I think that’s the most logical thing you’ve done this week.”

Max shuffled awkwardly, offering Eddie a small smile. “I think everyone’s kinda feeling like that at the moment.”

Nancy and Robin nodded their agreement, Lucas joining after being elbowed not-so-subtly by Max.

“Right! Right, you - this can’t be easy on you, man.”

Eddie laughed, bordering on maniacal, “Oh you have no idea Sinclair.”

That looped ended like the rest, though Steve had stuck closer to him than normal. He was a protector at heart, after all. 

-

They were walking through the upside down again - Eddie still couldn’t figure out how to avoid this trip - when Robin grabbed his arm, turning so that she could see all around it.

“The hell, Buckley?”

“You went all zoned out -” she explained, grabbing his other arm and repeating the action, “I’m making sure you weren’t bit by one of those bats.”

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment,” he said, pulling his arm back and crossing them protectively across his chest, “I can assure you they didn’t get me.”

“Okay, so what are you zoning out for?”

He bit his guitar pick necklace anxiously, before looking at her with as much sincerity as he could muster, “The inevitability of my death.”

“Uhhh -”

Before she could answer, another one of the ‘earthquakes’ ripped through the upside down, dislodging a tree branch right above Robin’s head. Without thinking, he shoved her out of the way, falling underneath it’s trajectory instead.

He made sure not to zone out in the woods again.

-

Eddie was at a loss. 

He felt trapped, like nothing he ever did actually made a difference. Which, realistically, it didn’t. Every single time he thought he was close to figuring out a way to live past his time in the upside down, he was quickly met with the cruel embrace of death and the day reset once more.

He had had enough.

“Farrah Fawcett.”

He said the name as soon as the group entered the clearing, making steady eye contact with Dustin.

There was a stunned silence, broken by Steve whacking Dustin across the back of his head, “What the hell, man?”

“Wha - I didn’t-” Dustin screeched, looking at Steve before whirling around to Eddie, “How did you -” He swivelled back to Steve again, “I swear I never -” and back to Eddie, “Tell him I never -”

The metal head couldn’t hold his laughter in, “Your face! Priceless, Henderson.”

“What is going on.” Max laughed, slipping the headphones off of her head, “Why does Dustin look like he’s about to have a stroke?”

“I - you - they -”

Lucas snorted, patting Dustin on the back, “You’ll get there buddy.”

Robin, forever curious, had gone over to Steve’s side and begun poking him in the arm, “What is it? What is it? I know you’re dying to tell me what it is Harrington so tell me!”

Steve waved her off, Nancy pulling her back, before he walked towards Eddie with a mixture of defensiveness and curiousness. “Why did you say that?”

“Honestly?” Steve nodded. “I’m stuck in a time loop and Dustin told me that should be our code word.”

“I know you’re all thinking that’s crazy,” Dustin said, after a considerable amount of time had passed, “But I know I never told him that, and it’s definitely something I would use as a code word.”

“Time loop... as in the one at the beginning of the campaign?” Lucas asked, frowning slightly.

“Yes and no,” Eddie replied, somewhat shocked at how effective using the words had been. It was only really Nancy and Robin looking at him like he was insane. Max just looked slightly interested, but Steve? Steve looked as if he was torn between agreeing with him or strangling Dustin.

As Lucas and Dustin started rapid firing questions at him, Steve walked closer, lowering his voice so that only Eddie could hear. “If he did... He didn’t... tell you why he chose that word did he?”

“No, just that he promised to never tell.” Eddie answered, a smirk pulling at his lips, “Why? Is it something really messed up, Harrington?”

“Wha - no -”

He moved closer, fully grinning now. “Because the way you’re acting? It’s highly suspicious.”

“I am not a highly suspicious person -”

“Guys can you stop for one moment and actually think here?” Dustin asked, annoyance clear in his voice, “You can’t just drop this bombshell on us then ignore us asking questions!”

“I’m sorry!” Eddie said, raising his hands in surrender, “Last time you didn’t exactly believe me this easily.”

“Last time -” Max trailed off, “Assuming that I believe you... how long have you been trapped exactly?”

“Uhhhhh...”

Robin’s eyes widened, “More than 50?” He nodded. “More than 100?”

“At this point? Probably, yeah.”

Nancy crossed her arms, “I’m still not convinced.”

Eddie sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, before meeting her eyes, “There’s a gate in Lovers Lake. Vecna opened it when he killed one of the assholes who were chasing me -” He turned to Lucas, “Sorry man, I know you knew him, but the point still stands -” He looked back to Nancy, “The gate leads to demobats, we end up getting stuck in the Upside Down, kids get arrested-”

“Arrested?!”

“Wait what -”

“- and then we end up having to go to a store full of angry hicks to get weapons, Jason’s there buying a gun.”

He took a deep breath, looking at the groups’ wide eyes before continuing, “Then we follow the plan Nancy makes, Dustin and I make a distraction, which may I tell you is fucking awesome, and then I die.”

Nancy’s brow deepened in thought, as Robin anxiously began chewing on her fingernails, “Did you say bats? Like - feral bats? They could have rabies, which is like, my number one fear. Did you know that once the symptoms set in that’s it. You’re dead. Super, super dead.”

“You know what, you have actually told me that before,” Eddie smiled, “Fastest incubation period is... 2 days, right?”

Robin blanched, “You’re kind of scaring me, I’m not gonna lie Munson.”

“This is- how did you start it?” Lucas asked, hands flying to his head, “The implications of this are insane - when does it restart? Is it the same every time?”

“I always wake up here, two days before I die. Never earlier, never later.”

“And it resets when you... die?” Dustin’s voice was quiet, greatly contrasting the excitement of Lucas beside him. 

Eddie nodded.

“Wait, so pretending I believe you for a moment, you’ve never made it past dying during the distraction?” Nancy interrupted, “So you don’t know if any of that plan works in the first place?”

“Uh - no.”

She quirked her eyebrow at him, “You’re telling me in over 100 loops you’ve only ever died the way you did the first time?”

“I didn’t say that. I’ve died in quite a few different ways... just never later than that.”

Nancy just raised her eyebrows at him, Max huffing a laugh beside her.

“You’re stupid.”

“Thank you Max.”

“You’re welcome.”

Steve just continued to look at Eddie as if he were about to break down any second, Robin nudging him. “You’re staring.”

“Well the plan is simple,” Nancy stated, “We go check the lake out, and see if Eddie’s right.”

“So you’re just going to fight the bats... with your hands?” Lucas asked, unimpressed.

“Assuming there are any in the first place,” Nancy shrugged, “We’ve fought worse than bats. Besides, we don’t have time to go get any.”

Eddie just shrugged, “If we go about it as normal, then we don’t die.”

“There you go then.”

Robin raised her hand, “I vote for not going through the gate at all. I hate bats.”

“Not a choice, Rob -”

“But -” 

Steve just gently pushed her hand down, shaking his head. “Worse case scenario, we die for as long as it takes for Eddie to reset the loop.”

Robin’s face dropped, “Wait, what? We’re just going to die?”

“You won’t remember it anyway,” Eddie said, trying to sound optimistic, “So technically you won’t have died at all.”

"But what if this is the one time the loop doesn’t reset - what if - what if you don’t die this time around and we’re all just dead -”

Eddie walked up to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Buckley, I promise you that I’ll die.”

She nodded, patting his hand, “I never thought I’d be thanking someone for saying that -”

“You don’t have to. It’s a skill at this point.”

As Nancy gathered everyone and began the walk to the lake, Dustin pulled Eddie to the back of the group, frown even deeper than earlier.

“How long ago did I tell you that code word?”

“What?”

“Don’t bullshit me Eddie. How long have you tried to do this on your own?”

Eddie avoided Dustin’s eyes, instead fixing his gaze on the back of Steve’s head, “Long enough.”

“Oh that’s such crap - you know I would’ve helped you -”

“Dustin -”

“You don’t have to be alone in this! Maybe I could’ve helped more-”

“Ever stop to think that that might be the problem, Henderson? God. There’s some things that I should protect you from, and this was one of them, okay? Can you just -” He sighed, biting his bottom lip as he tried to steady himself, “Can you just trust me on this, please?”

Dustin went silent at his side, though Eddie forced himself not to look. He knew even just one glance of his pouting face would lead to him accepting the kids’ help.

His thoughts were cut off as Dustin engulfed him in a hug, the sudden movement almost tripping Eddie over. 

“You’re not alone in this.” Dustin said, words muffled by Eddie’s jacket. 

Tears began to fill his eyes, Eddie clearing his throat before returning the hug. “Thanks, man.”

It’s not his fault that he didn’t understand just how alone Eddie was.

-

Soon enough, they were at the edge of Lovers Lake, Steve arguing with the kids about where they should go. Nancy and Robin were discussing something under their breaths to the side, leaving Eddie to wordlessly move in practised motions, pulling the boat out from under the tarp and dragging it to the waterline.

“- but Steve!”

“No. Eddie said you get arrested, so you need to scram.”

“Where are we supposed to go exactly?” Max replied, unimpressed.

Lucas chimed in, agreeing with Max, “We can’t just leave you!”

“Im sure Eddie - hey, Eddie. Where are we supposed to go?”

“Uhh. I don’t know.”

Max crossed her arms, staring at him in disbelief. “You’re telling me you’ve been stuck in this loop for so long and you’ve never once stopped us from being arrested?”

“Well when you say it like that it sounds horrible. It just... wasn’t that important.”

“Not that important?” Dustin screeched, “What do you mean not that important?”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender, raising his voice slightly, “Well I’m sorry, okay! But when you’re marching back to your death because you have no clue what the fuck else to do, stopping you guys from being interrogated for a half hour is hardly that high up on my list!”

“Children, children!” Robin called, placing herself in between Eddie and the kids, “Now is not the time to fight.”

“He left us to the mercy of the law!”

Steve cocked his hip out, looking ever the image of an overworked mother, and sighed. Eddie could only nod in agreement.

“We could have been seriously injured-”

“Oh please. You just sit in the Wheeler’s front room while Max bullies the police officers. Then you talk to us through the lights when we get stuck in the upside down.”

Dustin looked at him, unimpressed. “So you think you’ve got it all figured out.”

“Well, yeah. Yes I have.”

Lucas laughed sarcastically, putting his hand on Dustin’s shoulder as the two of them slow-nodded in sync. “Well, Eddie the Banished, ever think that the reason we get delayed so much is that you’re just going along with how it’s always happened?”

“I agree with my friend here,” Dustin said, “Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of how people would react and just sped through what you know, you may win more time before dying.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, “Fine. In that case, I guess we don’t need to let you have your little ‘I worked it all out, hoorah!’ moment. So yeah, I guess you do get arrested for nothing.”

“Uh - Steve!”

Harrington ignored Dustin’s outcry, grinning instead as he helped the girls in to the boat, sarcasm strong in his voice, “Sorry Henderson - we can’t waste time, remember?”

Max snickered, sticking her tongue out at Lucas as he lightly elbowed her.

Nancy was the one to call order, “We stick to how it’s always happened for this loop. We can’t chance anything going wrong before it gets to the important point, got it Munson?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“That goes for you three as well. Stay safe and don’t be stupid.” When she was met with silence, she raised her eyebrow, “Do you understand?”

“Yes Nancy.”

Patting Steve’s shoulder as he clambered into the boat, Eddie waved sarcastically at the kids as the other man began to push the boat out. 

“Have fun kiddies!” Robin called, arguably having too much fun watching Dustin’s mini meltdown, “Max, you’re in charge!”

-

Steve broke the surface of the water as always, the girls jumping slightly at his arrival.

“Munson was right, the gate -”

“You’re about to be dragged into the gate,” Eddie stated, “We’ll be right behind you.”

“Wha-” His words were cut off as he was dragged under.

Eddie sighed, grabbing Steve’s discarded shoes and stepping to the edge of the boat. Turning to the girls, he raised his eyebrow lazily, “You coming?”

They were sat looking at him as if he was crazy, Nancy throwing her hands into the air, “If you knew that was going to happen why didn’t you stop him?”

“I’ve replayed this far too many times, and this is the only way we all survive it.” He looked down at the water, “Though if we wait much longer Steve’s a-goner. Come on!”

He jumped into the water, two splashes following after him.

Once the bats were killed, Steve settled Eddie with a glare, “No warning? Seriously?”

He shrugged apologetically, already beginning to back towards the woods, “I can give you a warning now though - there’s a whole swarm of them about to arrive, so we need to get to the Wheeler’s house ASAP.”

Robin started to follow him immediately, muttering about rabies under her breath as she went past. Nancy lingered at Steve’s side for a moment before following, Steve being the last one to approach the woods.

“Seriously dude, no warning?”

Eddie gave him a sheepish smile, placing a hand on his back and guiding him towards the trees, “You always handle it fine.”

The half-run to Skull Rock was silent as always, the group too worried about attracting attention from the swarm of bats that were following closely behind. Eddie could hear Steve’s ragged breaths, and moved to put his arm over his shoulders, helping to steady him.

“Really I’m -”

“Steve, I know how bad this hurts. Just let me help you to the rock, okay?”

Harrington just nodded, too focused on staying upright to make a come back.

“Under the rock - and don’t touch the vines.” Eddie ordered, guiding Steve underneath before holding his hands out to help Robin and Nancy - they were fine without his help but he always found it better to help them, if only so Nancy stopped looking at him as if he would have a breakdown any second.

He shushed them all just moments before the bats flew overhead, Robin clutching on to his arm. The four of them sat in silence until the frantic flapping of wings could no longer be heard.

“Oh - okay,” she said, releasing his arm and crouching out from under the rock, “That was close.”

“Oh.. shit.” Eddie was by Steve’s side in a second, gently placing him against the rock before he could fall. As Steve started his ‘I’m fine’ spiel, Eddie silenced him with a look, stepping aside so that Nancy could approach.

She looked at his wound critically, frowning. “You’re not okay. You’re losing blood - come on, sit.”

Steve did as she said, Eddie crouching down beside him to tap his ankle, “I’m going to put your shoes on while she wraps you up okay?”

Steve looked at him hazily “I - yeah. Thanks man.”

“So, good news, I’m pretty sure wooziness is not a sign of rabies,” Robin began,  rambling to fill the tense silence as Nancy ripped the bottom of her jumper, “but if you start having hallucinations or muscle spasms or you start to feel aggressive, like you wanna punch me, just let me know.”

“Robin?”

“Yeah?”

“I kinda wanna punch you.”

Eddie laughed, tying his shoelaces up before stepping away, giving Nancy the proper room she needed.

“Good, sense of humour’s still in tact. That’s a good sign.” As Nancy started to dress Steve’s wounds, Robin turned to Eddie, voice low. “He’s alright, right?”

“Lil ol’ Steve? He’s made of stronger stuff than some demon bats.”

Robin nodded, “Right. Right of course.”

He threw his vest at Steve on instinct, a smile creeping up his lips at Steve’s shocked noise. “For your modesty, dude.”

“Right - thanks.”

Nancy clapped her hands together, as if clearing her head, “Guns. We need guns.”

“We need to go to your house for bikes, Wheeler.”

“And the guns I have in my room.”

“They’re not there, but...” He trailed off, moving his hands in a dismissive gesture, “It’ll be easier to see it. Come on.”

-

As always, as soon as they re-entered the forest, the girls moved ahead, leaving Eddie with Steve at the back of the group.

"You know, I think you’re the only one that could make biting a bat look hot.” Steve raised an eyebrow. “Well, except Ozzy Osbourne.”

“Who?”

“The lead singer of Black Sabbath. He bit a head off a bat onstage - very metal.”

“So..?”

“So, babygirl, I’m saying watching you bite a bat was hot as fuck.”

He watched Steve’s cheeks turn a deep scarlet, and kicked himself for not using that pet name sooner.

“I - 

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Steve’s face turned a darker red, clearing his throat. “Well, thanks.”

They walked for about a minute in silence, before Steve spoke again.

“Do you always flirt with me?”

“After about the fifth time we talked in the woods, yeah.”

“Ah.”

“I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. I just figured, no harm no foul, you know? You don’t remember and it’s not like you’ve called me a slur yet, so -”

“I would never, I-” he cut himself off, eyes darting to Robin before refocusing on Eddie, “I wouldn’t. Say those things, that is.”

“Okay, cool.” Eddie smiled, “And the flirting?”

Steve cleared his throat, looking torn on what to say. Deciding on mercy, Eddie held his hands up, grinning. “I’ll stop, I’ll stop. Changing topic.”

“Thanks.”

Eddie hit his thighs rhythmically, chains jangling, “You know, Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on it in fact.”

“Henderson said that?”

“Oh yeah, shit. Kid worships you dude - like annoyingly so. I guess I can see why now though.” Eddie gestured at all of him, “As much as I dont like caring so much about what that little shrimp thinks, I guess he was right. I just couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good guy.”

Eddie had committed this little speech to memory, and even though Steve never remembered it, he felt like it was important that every version he met got to know just how much Dustin - and by extension himself - admired him.

“Rich parents, popular, chicks love him and not a douche? I thought no way man, that shit like flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine.” Steve laughed at this, an embarrassed humble laugh like always. Eddie leaned into Steve’s space as they walked, smiling teasingly, “Still super jealous as hell, by the way.”

Eddie cut himself off before going into the speech about him running off - there was no need to keep up the pretence this time.

Steve went to rub the back of his neck, wincing as the movement pulled at the cuts on his torso. “He talks about you a lot too, you know.”

“Really?” 

This was new.

“Yeah. I kinda -” He laughed again, though this time it was slightly self-conscious, “I kinda thought you were replacing me. It’s always ‘Eddie said this’ or ‘Eddie did that’... we used to hang out a lot more before he joined that Hell club.”

“Hellfire?”

“Yeah. He thinks the world of you, I can tell. Probably his favourite person.”

“Are you kidding? He adores you, dude.” As Steve looked up hopefully, Eddie continued, smiling. “Talks about you all the time - of course I didn’t understand why he said you were such a badass ‘til now.”

“Hey, I was plenty badass in school.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, following words coming out bluntly, “An asshole more like.” To his credit, Steve did look genuinely ashamed of himself, opening his mouth to apologise. “You would’ve thought that I hated you, but even then I couldn’t find it within myself. Even as you were calling me a freak I still thought you looked hotter than hell.”

“If you think me fighting with an oar was hot, you should’ve seen me with my bat.” Steve flashed a smile, though it quickly fell. “I am sorry, though. I was awful in high school - I - I like to think I’m better now.”

“I mean even the fact that you haven’t joined the mindless herd chasing after me and calling me a murderer is proof that you’re better than you were. Let alone everything else you’ve done.”

“I guess...”

Eddie smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder, “For what it’s worth? I like this you.”

Steve cleared his throat, eyes watering slightly, “Thanks.”

As if waiting for the end of their conversation, the earthquake ripped through the trees, Eddie jumping to steady Steve before he strained his cuts. 

“Second on my list of unfavourite things, earthquakes. I’m unsteady enough as it is!” Robin whined, spreading her arms out as if that would help centre herself. Nancy looked at her for a moment before speeding out of the tree cover, “Nancy! Nancy, where are you going?”

As Steve and Robin turned to him for explanation, he gestured in the direction she ran, “It’s the house. We’re here.”

-

Thankfully for Eddie, Nancy took one look at the diary and managed to figure it all out, explaining it far better than he could’ve. By the time they’d talked to the kids through the lights and made it to the the fucked-up version of his trailer, Eddie was starting to feel something he hadn’t in a while.

Hope.

The feeling was dangerous, but goddamn it it if he wasn’t glad to feel something other than the endless black hole of despair that he had come accustomed to.

Through all of his previous loops he still hadn’t worked out how to break Nancy out of Vecna’s trance. He had collected a list of almost everyone’s favourite songs on his third loop - Steve had refused to answer every single time he’d asked - and had committed it to memory, but he didn’t have the tapes in his trailer. He also knew that it was important for Nancy to see the visions that Vecna gave her.

That still didn’t make it easy to watch as Nancy’s feet began to lift from the floor.

“Eddie! Do something!”

“She snaps o-”

Robin let out a horrified half-scream, “She snaps?”

“Gets out of it! Bad wording I’m sorry!”

Dustin pushed past the both of them, Eddie’s cassette tapes in his arms, “Come on people! Hustle! Hustle!”

As he dropped them on the floor, Robin began sorting through them, “We need Madonna, Bowie, Beatles - music! We need music!”

“That is music!” Eddie yelled, rubbing his hands over his face exasperatedly. He took a steadying breath, tugging on the end of his hair before standing underneath the gate on the ceiling, clearing his throat.

“Eddie what -”

“I swear, if any of you brings this up again, you’re dead.”

“What-”

Max shoved Lucas, “I wanna hear this.”

“Revvin' up your engine, listen to her howlin' roar, metal under tension, beggin' you to touch and go,” Eddie sang as he tapped out a beat with his foot, ignoring the eyes of the others on him, “Highway to the Danger Zone. Ride into the Danger Zone.”

“Tom Cruise,” Robin murmured, smiling slightly.

“Headin' into twilight, spreadin' out her wings tonight, she got you jumpin' off the deck -” he paused as Dustin shoved his acoustic guitar into his hands, throwing the strap over his shoulders before strumming, “ Shovin' into overdrive. Highway to the Danger Zone, I'll take you right into the Danger Zone -”

He stopped singing as Nancy came back to herself, gasping.

“Hey, hey, hey, woah it’s okay. I’m right here. Thank god you’re okay, come on -” Steve said, shoving the rope into her hands, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

As soon as they had tumbled on to the mattress, Max pointed out that they’d be better off waiting in her trailer as her mum was on a night shift, so Steve quickly herded them across the road.

Eddie kicked into action, letting himself in, grabbing the spare blankets from the cupboard and meeting Nancy with them at the door, swaddling her with them and guiding her to the armchair.

“I keep forgetting that you’ve done this before,” Robin said, looking at him weirdly.

Eddie laughed, shrugging, “Might as well be useful.”

Robin gave him a strained smile, before moving to Nancy’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder. The rest of the kids got comfortable on the sofa, Steve sitting in between them.

“Hey Red, I’m going to make us some food if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, sure. You seem to know your way around here better than I do anyway.” She shrugged, too focused on Nancy’s shaken figure.

Steve moved to get up, Eddie holding a hand out to stop him, “You should hear what she has to say. Don’t worry about the food, I’ve got it.”

He looked as if he was going to argue, but Dustin’s hand on his wrist stopped him. The kid was more shaken up than he let on, and Steve seemed to recognise that, settling back into the chair and pressing his shoulder against Dustins’. 

As the sun began to rise, Nancy spoke.

Eddie went about the practiced movements of making a fry up, using most of the food left in the Mayfield’s fridge. He did so as quietly as he could, not wanting to distract too much attention from Nancy as she explained Vecna’s vision. 

He had the speech memorised by now, along with every horrified look that his friends’ faces held as they heard it.

Friends.

It was weird that that’s what they were to him now. Lucas and Dustin had always been in that box in his mind, but Robin? Max? Nancy Wheeler? Steve ‘the King’ Harrington? Never in his life did he think that he would call any of them a friend.

The weirdest thing was that he felt like he knew most of them inside out, but they only knew the little that they’d seen of him as his life fell apart. Any in depth conversation he had with them was wiped away with each loop, only impacting him. The implications were maddening, and with each loop the guilt and grief seemed to multiply as he watched the people he loved suffer again and again.

He was brought out of his trance as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“I think the bacon’s cooked enough there, Eds.”

Steve carefully took the pan out of his hand, taking it off the heat and adding the bacon to the plate. “Max is trying the Byers again, but we need to start talking about making this plan a reality.”

“Right - yeah. Uh -” he shook his head, slapping on what he hoped was a reassuring smile, “I’ll just put this on the table and get ready.”

He picked up the food-piled plate, placing it on the coffee table. “Grubs up. Eat what you can - it’ll be the last opportunity for a while.”

“Meaning?”

“We’re going to steal a trailer and go get guns.” He replied, matter-of-factly, “Oh, and Max I’m gonna need to borrow your halloween mask.”

“The mask... why?”

“For... dramatic flair.”

Dustin rolled his eyes, “Where do we get all these guns?”

”The War Zone, big gun shop just outside of Hawkins. It’s got everything, guns, knifed, grenades-”

“Grenades? How is any of this legal?” Robin asked, shocked.

“Well, lucky for us it is.” Nancy said, stepping into Eddie’s space and catching his eyes, “My plan - you said you don’t know if it works?”

“I’ve never made it that far, no.” He admitted, “But I can tell you that everything up to me dying during the distraction works perfectly.”

His attempt at humour failed again, Dustin frowning.

“We need you to stay alive long enough to see if it works.,” she replied, eyes glinting with determination, “Is there any point after the distraction that you can get to safety?”

“Yes. I get an opportunity.”

Steve interjected, “You’ve never taken it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“It would mean me leaving the three of you to deal with an army of bats.”

Nancy settled her shoulders, “All that matters is that you see if it works. You can always reset the time loop.”

“Woah, woah - I know we believe him and all, but I still don’t really want to die.” Robin said, voice squeaking slightly.

“We won’t die,” Nancy reassured her, “We’ll just have to get out faster than before.”

Steve crossed his arms, “As much as I hate to say it, all we need to do is make sure that Vecna dies. If we’re doing all of this for nothing, at least then Eddie will know for next time and can correct the plan.”

Lucas looked at Steve weirdly, “I’m surprised you’re not telling us to sit this out.”

Steve huffed a laugh, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, you’re all going to stay as far out of danger as you can. Max is already going to be facing up to the lizard guy, you and Erica will just need to make sure she’s as safe as she can be out there, got it?”

“Roger that.” Erica saluted sarcastically.

Max re-entered the room, throwing the Michael Myers mask at his chest, “Let’s get going.”

He held the mask to his chest, “And if anyone needs the toilet, go now. We won’t be stopping on the way.”

-

Steve’s presence over his shoulder was comfortable and familiar, though Eddie had to fight to keep his focus on hotwiring the RV. The other kids had piled in through the window, and he knew it would only be a few moments until the couple outside realised what was happening. 

“Where did you learn how to do this anyway?”

Eddie huffed a laugh, “Well, when other dads were teaching their kids how to fish or play ball, my old man was teaching me to hotwire. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t wind up like he did, but now I’m wanted for murder and hot-wiring a car, so.” He frowned slightly, “Really living up to the Munson name.”

“Eddie,” Robin piped up from her spot next to Steve, “I’m not sure I really love the idea of you driving.”

“Oh, I’m just starting this sucker,” he looked up from the wires, lifting half out of his seat to lean into Steve’s space, “Harrington’s got her, don’t you big boy?”

He pressed the exposed wires together as he watched the blush work it’s way up Steve’s neck, a grin spreading across his face. It only grew as Steve launched himself into the driver’s seat, Lucas screaming for them to go in the back.

As the RV began to move, Robin grabbed on to the back of the seat, looking at Eddie knowingly. He brushed off the sudden wave of nervousness, clearing his throat and focusing on the windshield with sudden intensity.

“They look pissed -”

“Well it’s not every day you lose a house and car in one foul swoop!”

As Steve pulled out of the trailer park, Dustin and Lucas broke out in to applause, Eddie whooping along with them. He lived for this kind of chaos, and he took every win he could get these days.

Erica shook her head disapprovingly, though even she couldn’t hide the smile that was making it’s way across her face. Even Max was laughing, headphones over her ears.

“Remind me to never do that again,” Steve said, voice shaky.

“Are you kidding Harrington?” Eddie grinned, squeezing his shoulders lightly as he leaned over his shoulder, “You were insane!”

“Never thought I’d agree with grand theft auto,” Nancy said, voice light with humour, “But I’ve got to admit, that was quite fun.”

Robin’s mouth dropped open, "Did Nancy Wheeler just say she enjoyed stealing an RV?” She turned to Erica, “Pinch me, I’m dreaming.”

She did so, “You’re not dreaming, the world’s just going to shit.”

“Erica!”

“Just the facts!”

Eddie smiled, slipping into the passenger seat as Robin pulled Nancy into a conversation.

“How are you coping?”

“With the car? Pretty well, considering it’s literally a house.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, kicking his feet up on to the dashboard. “It’s weird, but you kinda suit this-” he gestured at the RV around them.

“You know, it’s funny...” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “Nevermind, it’s silly.”

Eddie smiled, poking him gently in the side with his foot, making sure to miss his wounds, “You can’t just tease me with that, come on.”

“I - I always thought that I’d end up having a big family, we’re talking like five or six kids. A full brood of Harringtons.”

Eddie ignored the weight that settled in his gut, forcing a smile, “Oh yeah? Six?”

“Yeah, and I figured that we’d all pack up into something like this and drive around the country, spending time at places like the Grand Canyon, the Rockies...  maybe Yellowstone.” He began tapping out the beat of the song on the radio on the steering wheel, looking intently at the empty road ahead, “Maybe we’d end up at the East coast for a week. Learn how to surf.”

“Is that... is that something you did with your family?”

Steve laughed, a short bitter noise. “No, no. My parents aren’t the loving type.”

“Damn man, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Guess it’s made me want to be better. For my kids.” 

The weight in Eddie’s gut twisted painfully. As if he needed another reason his stupid crush on Steve wouldn’t work.

“I guess I’ve kind of got my wish, as unconventional as it is,” Steve said aloud, eyes darting to look at the kids in the rear view mirror. “Might not be going to the Rockies - or even have all my kids with me - but I’ll take it.”

Eddie laughed affectionately, “Once all this is done, I’m sure we can find a way to make that wish of yours come true. It might not be a brood of Harringtons, but I’d say a survivors trip might be just as good.”

Steve chanced a look away from the road, eyes soft. “You think?”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s something we can work out. Other kids included.”

Steve lit up at the mention of this, and Eddie had to physically hold himself back from placing a kiss to the smile lines around his eyes.

“Oh, Eds you’d love them. You know Mike already, but El and Will are just the sweetest kids you’ll ever meet. El was the girl with superpowers, a complete badass - oh and Will? You’d love Will. He’s Johnathon’s younger brother and he loves that nerdy game you guys play -”

“D&D?”

“Yeah, he used to host a lot of those games for the kids.”

“A fellow DM, he sounds cool already.”

Steve nodded, the smile never having left his face.

“You really care about these kids.” It was a statement, without judgement.

“Yeah,” Steve said softly, “I do.”

The two of them settled into a comfortable silence, the soft music of the radio filling the space between them. After a while had passed, Steve turned to him.

“Have we... had that conversation before?”

Eddie shifted in his seat, “No. If I’m honest I usually don’t build the courage to sit next to you during this trip.”

Steve hummed thoughtfully, “You seem plenty full of courage to me.”

“You live out a day enough times, the fear pretty much disappears.” he shrugged, biting the ends of his hair self-consciously, “You shoulda seen me the first few loops. I was a wreck dude.”

“I don’t think anyone can see what we’ve seen and be completely okay with it,” Steve countered, “I think you’d actually be more insane if you were calm.”

Before Eddie could answer, Robin was leaning in between them and pointing through the windscreen, “Straight ahead.”

Steve let out a low whistle, “It’s busy.”

"Just get in and out of there as fast as you can,” Eddie said, patting Steve on the back as he left, “You’ll be fine!”

“And no one thinks it’s weird I’m walking in with blood and bandages?”

Robin made a face, patting Steve’s shoulder sympathetically, “Maybe steal some clothes while we’re in there.”

As the majority of the group piled out of the RV, Eddie moved to sit at the table, Lucas and Dustin joining him.

“Are they okay in there?” Lucas asked, leg bouncing with anxiety.

“Who them? They make it out without incident - Jason is in there but Nancy stands up to him, or so I’m told.”

Lucas simply nodded, bringing his knees to his chest. 

“So you haven’t really said...” Dustin shuffled closer to Eddie, “How often do you get to this point?”

“Pretty much all the time,” Eddie shrugged, “I’ve been through some rough patches, drowned a few times. Oh! I’ve also been shot before - not cool.”

“Shot?”

“Yeah, no biggie.”

Lucas looked at him with a straight face, “Dude, being shot is a big deal.”

“Yeah - you know I’d be more inclined to find it a big deal if I didn’t immediately come back to life. If I found everything that killed me a ‘big deal’... well let’s just say I don’t have the emotional energy for that.”

“Shit man.”

“Shit indeed.”

Dustin ran his hands over his face, groaning. “So let me get this straight. You’ve never made it past the second trip to the upside down?”

“That’s what I said, yes.”

“So you don’t know if we actually succeed in what we’re doing?”

“Also right.”

“And the Byers... we never contact them?”

Eddie shook his head, “After this we go straight to a field where we gear up. Nancy saws off a shotgun -”

Lucas’ mouth fell open, “Isn’t that illegal?”

“A felony, yes. Kinda not the point here - what I’m trying to say is we go straight from the middle of nowhere into the upside down. We don’t have time to try the phone again.”

Dustin frowned, “But surely their disappearance off the face of the Earth is related to all this, right?”

He turned to Lucas for support, who shrugged in response, “I’ve already said it feels weird. Joyce would have called us back by now.”

“So, let assume that they’ve been pulled in to something - what if we can get them to Hawkins before we have to fight Vecna?”

“Only one problem there, Henderson.”

“Which is?”

“They’re hours away by plane, and that’s assuming that they can even get last minute tickets. No. There’s got to be another way.”

“Another way to what? You’ve said it yourself, you always die at the same point-”

“That’s not to say that anyone else has to,” Eddie interrupted, biting his guitar pic necklace anxiously, “I’ll - I’ll figure it out.”

“Im not trying to be a dick, Eddie, but you’ve been trying. Nothing’s changed-”

“I know! Okay?” He shocked himself at the volume, the noise reminding him of his father. He immediately lowered his voice, “God, don’t you think I’m aware how many times I’ve failed?”

“i’m sure he didn’t-”

Eddie cut Lucas off, holding his hands up in surrender, “I’m doing my best, okay? I realise that I’ve literally got the fate of Hawkins on my shoulders, and I’m sorry that it isnt up to someone more capable, but goddamnit I am trying!”

A laugh bubbled out of him, Eddie backing out of the mini seating area and sitting on the bench across from them, “There’s only so much I can do.”

The two boys looked almost guilty, Dustin moving to get up just as the Winnebago door slammed open, Steve rushing in. 

“We’ve gotta go - your old friends are here.”

Dustin whirled around to face him instead, “Shit! Lets go, lets go!”

“I’m going, I’m going!”

Erica chimed in, “Not fast enough!”

Eddie avoided eye contact for the rest of the trip, willing himself to be calm for what was coming. Dustin had tried to approach him at one point, veering off to sit with Lucas and Max instead. As Nancy recited the plan once more, the gnawing feeling returned to Eddie’s gut.

He had allowed himself to get carried away with the group’s blind optimism, to think that everything was going to be okay. But here he sat, four hours away from his death, more lost than he was before; because not only would he have to start again, he knew he didn’t have it in him to sit through the same conversations, the same battle plan, the same false hope.

He would be truly alone again.

-

As they arrived at the field, Eddie smiled at Dustin, albeit sadly. 

As everyone split up into smaller groups once more, the two of them began hammering nails into dustbin lids - Eddie’s technique refined with practice.

“You know,” Eddie said, breaking the heavy silence, “Your name is like... one letter off from dustbin.”

The kid snorted, “Ass.” 

His words seemed to break the suffocating cloud that seemed to surround them, Dustin moving his makeshift work station closer.

“How’s she feeling?” Dustin asked, looking up at Eddie as he lifted the shield into the air.

“Light but durable,” he smiled, thrusting it into the air, “Deadly... but reliable.”

Dustin laughed, and Eddie allowed himself to get lost in the familiarity of the moment, banishing his panic from his mind for now.

“Hear me now,” he growled, putting one foot on top of the box and pointing at Dustin, “There will be no more retreating! No surrender!”

The kid laughed, “Wow, you’re really ready for bat-tle... get it? Bat-tle? B-A-T. Cos... the bats?”

“You know, no matter how many times I hear you make that joke, it doesnt get funnier.”

He threw his hands into the air, “Well of course it won’t! You’ve heard it so many times it’s sucked out the funny! I bet the first time you heard it you were in stitches!” 

Eddie made a pained face, Dustin shrieking in outrage the next second. “I’m funny! I have good jokes, okay? Here - uhh... oh! What’s a bat’s favourite holiday?” He grinned at Eddie, not waiting for a response, “Fangs-giving.”

At Eddie’s blank stare, he jumped up and down on the spot a few times, hyping himself up. “Okay, this is a good one: whats the difference between batman and a robber? ... Batman can go into a store without Robin.”

He hadn’t heard that one before, and before he could stop it the left side of his lips were quirking up into a smile. Dustin laughed victoriously, pointing at him. “I knew it! I told you I was funny!”

“You know, for future reference, when you have to tell the other person that you’re funny, that generally means you’re not.”

“Yeah, whatever man, I made you laugh.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, grinning as he moved to tackle Dustin.

“What are you doing?” he yelled, wrestling back. As Eddie pushed him away, Dustin matched his grin, running towards him with a yell, “You son of a bitch!”

As the two grappled, Eddie couldn’t help but feel like this is a big part of what he was fighting for - why he hasn’t just given up -  he wanted to have more time with Dustin, outside of the world going to shit. He wanted to take him to gigs, and look after him like the brother he always wished he had.

Even as the little bastard screeched, “No wedgies! No wedgies!”, Eddie knew, the same as he did in his very first loop, that he would do anything to keep him safe.

“Never change, Dustin Henderson,” he said, holding the boy by his cheeks, “Promise me?”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good. Good.” Eddie shook the emotion from his eyes, letting Dustin go and turning towards Lucas, “Hey Sinclairs! How are the spears going?”

At Lucas’ thumbs up, he turned back to Dustin, “Battle practice time.”

-

The silence in the RV was unsettling, Robin placing a reassuring hand on Eddie’s leg. “We’re getting you out of this.”

“Right, yeah.” He watched as Max, Lucas and Erica got out of the RV, heading into the Creel house.

“They’re gonna be fine.” She reassured him, “Besides, they have a way smaller chance of getting rabies there, so I’d call that a win.”

Eddie laughed in spite of himself, eyes moving to rest on the back of Steve’s head. Nancy was sat in the passenger seat, the two of them looking the picture of suburban fantasy.

If Robin noticed where his attention strayed, she didn’t mention it, moving to sit with Dustin and leaving Eddie in his quiet contemplation. 

As ridiculous as it was to have stomach-churning jealousy while literally staring in the face of death, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of inevitability. It seemed almost destined that Eddie would be stuck in this loop forever, to fail over and over again.

Those thoughts swirled through his mind, distracting him up until Steve pulled into the forest, parking the RV.

“I want to run through the plan one more time.” Nancy said, “Phase one.”

“We meet Erica at the playground.” Robin replied, “She'll signal Max and Lucas when we're ready.”

“Phase Two.”

Steve answered this time, “Max baits Vecna. He'll go after her, which'll put him in his trance.”

“Phase Three?”

“Me and Eddie draw the bats away.”

The metal head ruffled Dustin’s hair approvingly, looking around weirdly as everyone stared at him expectantly. “Oh - right. I leave with Dustin through the gate.”

Nancy nodded. “Four.”

“We head into Vecna's newly bat-free lair, and...” Robin swirled the molotov threateningly, "flambé.”

“You’re going to have to leave through the gate on the road instead - if I’m not distracting the bats away from the trailer park then they’re either going to keep trying to tear it apart, or they’ll be flying right back to the house.”

“We’ve got this,” Steve reassured him, “If we need to use the other gate, we’ll use the other gate.”

“Nobody moves on to the next phase until we've all copied. Nobody deviates from the plan, no matter what. Got it?”

At the chorus of agreement, Steve opened the trailer door.

“Oh and Eddie -” she waited for him to look at her before continuing, “No matter what happens, don’t you dare die before you see if the plan works.”

The run through the trailer park went without fail, and soon he was watching Steve disappear through the gate. Familiar anxiety began to pull at him, but he pushed it away. He couldn’t be distracted.

As Steve looked up at them victoriously, Robin muttered sarcastically under her breath, “Oooh, what does he expect us to do, applaud?”

Eddie snorted, “Nah, I think he’s expecting flowers.”

Everyone piled into the upside down, handing out supplies before leaving the relative safety of the trailer.

“Hey, guys, listen.” Steve said, turning around as he always did, “If things here start to go south, I mean, at all, you get the hell out of here. Draw the attention of the bats, keep ‘em busy for a minute or two, then abort. We’ll take care of Vecna. Don’t try to be cute-” he glanced at Eddie, before focusing back on Dustin, “- or be a hero or something. Okay? You guys are just-”

“Decoys, we know. Don’t worry, you can be the hero Steve.” Dustin then turned to Eddie, as if saying ‘who does this guy think he is’. “Does he give that speech every time?”

“Yep, pretty much.”

“Wow, talk about trust.”

Eddie shrugged, teasingly, “I think it’s cute.”

“Shut up, man.” 

Steve turned back to the girls, Eddie finding his feet taking the steps forwards. He did this every time, always backing out before he said what he actually wanted to. 

“Hey, Steve-?”

Still, this loop was different than the others, he had already had conversations where he didn’t know every practiced answer and response. So, he threw caution to the wind and opened his mouth to speak.

“Come back to us, okay?”

It was as close to the truth as he could say, especially when Robin was eyeing him as if any second he would break out into a walking pride parade. 

Steve seemed to stare into his soul, frowning slightly as he tried to uncover the hidden meaning. Seemingly at a loss, he just nodded, readjusting the strap around his shoulders before walking towards the Creel house.

Him and Dustin watched them go, the kid only turning to him once they were out of the trailer park, “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That -” Dustin gestured at the air around him, “That intensity!”

Eddie just huffed a laugh, pushing past him and back into the trailer. Dustin followed him in, continuing to talk at him while Eddie took two sheets of metal that lay on the floor and began to hammer them into the ceiling, sealing off the vents.

“Don’t just brush me off! There was something happening there! What was it - Eddie!”

“It was nothing, you little twerp. Come on, we’ve got to get ready so they’re not walking into a trap.”

Dustin narrowed his eyes, “You’re telling me what it is later.”

His chest clenched painfully at his innocent words, “Sure, man. Later. But now? We’ve got some construction to do.”

“So, does this actually hold them off?” Dustin asked, drilling a sheet of metal that they had torn from an old trailer on to the walls.

“Pretty much yeah, though the first few times they got in through the vents -”

“Oh, so that’s why you started wrecking the trailer.”

“Yup. I’m trying to do pretty much everything I can to make sure that those bats can’t follow you -” Dustin whacked him in the arm. “Sorry. Follow us through the gate.”

They fell back into the rhythm of working, Dustin letting out a proud whistle as they stood back to admire their work.

“So?”

“Best we’ve done yet,” he grinned, offering Dustin his hand for a high five. 

“Is it time?”

“Oh, yeah Henderson. It’s time.”

-

Playing his guitar in the upside down was truly an experience and a half. 

No matter how many times he had done it, he never got bored of seeing Dustin’s face light up as he played. He had made a promise to himself many many loops ago that if - when he got out of this he would teach Dustin how to play. 

“She’s in. Move to phase three,” Robin said, voice crackling through the radio.

“Copy that, initiating phase three.” Dustin replied, placing the radio down on the roof and plugging in the amp. 

“Hand the radio over Dustin, we don’t want it to get left up here.” He clipped the radio on to his back pocket, reading his fingers on the strings. “You ready?”

“Let’s get metal, baby!” Dustin yelled, turning the volume all the way up and squatting in place. 

As Eddie began plucking the familiar notes, he allowed himself to get fully immersed in the experience, using this moment to get out all his frustrations.

He watched the army of demobats break over the horizon, Dustin gestured a 30 at him. Eddie shook out his shoulders, jumping up and down on the spot slightly as he finished the guitar riff, hyping himself up.

The final note ringing through the air, Eddie dumped the guitar on the ground, grabbing Dustin and lowering him on top of the truck, jumping down after him. 

“In the cage!” He yelled, making sure Dustin was safe before following, slamming the fence shut. “The trailer, come on!”

Dustin did as he was told, slamming the door behind Eddie with a huff. “Dude! Most. Metal. EVER!”

They both broke into laughter, adrenaline still pumping through their veins. As it wore off, Eddie started to corral Dustin towards the gate.

“No, you first.” He said, planting his feet on the ground, “I’m not letting you back out last minute.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, fighting against his common sense as he began to climb up the makeshift rope. “You follow right after me or I swear to god Dustin I will end you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

As soon as Eddie landed, he cleared the way for Dustin, the kid making true to his word and landing on the mattress seconds later.

“We’re in uncharted territory now.” Eddie said, heart thumping out of his chest.

He had made it out.

Dustin grabbed the walkie talkie off of Eddie’s back pocket, pressing down the button and speaking, “Erica? Do you copy?”

Static was their only reply. 

“Shit.”

“Shit.”

“Quick, help me with this and then we’ll - shit -” Eddie dragged the metal sheet he had put aside to directly under the gate, bringing over a chair to climb on, “we can take the RV. Get to the Creel house.”

Dustin hurried over to get the power tools, handing Eddie the drill. “Is this really necessary?”

“Those bats don’t give up ‘til they get into the trailer. Do you really want them spilling out into Hawkins?”

Dustin swore under his breath, pacing back and forth as Eddie drilled the metal sheet into place. “This might not hold them forever, but hopefully it’ll be long enough.”

He all but pulled him down from the chair, urging him to run towards the forest. “Come on - if Erica isn’t answering then somethings really really wrong.”

Eddie agreed, biting his lip as he started up the RV, “Get ready for a bumpy ride!”

“Just go!”

-

By the time Eddie approached the Creel house, he had fully bitten through his lip, mouth filling with the taste of metal. Just as he was coming to a stop, he spotted Erica running into the house.

“Fuck!"

The two of them followed her, doing their best to keep up. 

“Should’a parked - closer” Dustin huffed, slamming the front door open.

Erica rushed past them, tearfully shouting something about a phone.

Eddie pushed on, running even faster towards the staircase, following Dustin as he made a beeline for the attic. 

“Erica, help!”

They broke into the room as Lucas shook Max’s body, repeating her name over and over again. It didn’t take long to add up what had happened - the broken walkman on the floor, a discarded gun and Jason, beaten up on the floor. 

“Max, stay with me - Max! No, no, no, no.”

Dustin ran over to Lucas’ side, hands hovering by him, unsure of what to do, “Max?”

An anguish sob ripped through Lucas as Max’s eyes turned blank, Dustin pulling him into his arms, rocking them back and forth. The sobs echoed through the room, Eddie staring at the scene in shock.

As the clock began to chime, Eddie approached the kids, “We’ve gotta move.”

“Max -” 

A cough from across the room caught Eddie’s attention, Jason looking at him with a hate-filled glare, “You.”

Before he could say anything else, the floor began to open, tentacles ripping the earth apart. Dustin and Lucas sprang to their feet, dragging Max’s body away from it, Eddie swooping in to help move her feet. 

As the crack continued to spread, he covered the three of them with his body, only looking over his shoulder to make sure Jason wouldn’t try to use that moment to hit out at him.

He felt nothing as he looked at Jason’s decimated body.

-

Once what he could only describe as the opening of hell had seemed to come to a stop, Eddie sat back. 

Lucas had not let go of Max’s body, though his whole face lit up with panic as he realised Erica wasn’t with them. “My sister -”

“Was on her way out of the house as we came in. We’ve got to assume that she’s safe until we can get out of here.” Eddie said, tugging his hair as he tired to ground himself. “The walkie! She should still have her walkie-”

Dustin handed it over to Lucas silently, face frozen in shock. He couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from Max’s unmoving face. 

“E-Erica? Erica answer me!”

“I’m oka- almost at - a phone -” 

Lucas let out a relieved sob, Dustin tightening his grip on his shoulder. 

Eddie gently took the walkie out from Lucas’ hand, “Stay by the phone when you get there. We’ll try to get out of the house and come to you.”

“Okay, I’ll be at the payphone left of the house.”

“Roger th-”

His words were cut off, the walkie dropping from his hand in shock. 

“M- Max?” Lucas’ hand gently touched her cheek, almost scared to touch her, “Max?”

She was breathing.

“Help her on to my back.” Eddie demanded, squatting down, “I’ll carry her out. If we can get her to your sister then she has a chance.”

Dustin finally looked away from Max. “Eddie... if they see you.”

“I’m dead, I know.”

“You - you can’t die yet.” Lucas said, voice thick with emotion, “You need to find a way to stop this.”

Eddie grunted as Max’s limp body was placed on his back, “I’ll drive off in the RV - keep the walkie on me if you need to tell me anything.”

“You can go to Hopper’s old cabin” Dustin suggested, “Park the RV outside of it - no one knows it’s there.”

“Let’s just worry about Max first.”

As the three of them made their way out of the house, avoiding the red pulsing cracks that almost completely took out the stairs, Eddie let his mind race with possibilities. 

He began walking to the RV, Lucas and Dustin catching on and rushing ahead to open the door, making sure the backseat was clear so that they could lay Max safely across it. 

“I’ll drop you off with Erica and then go to the place you told me -”

“Take the back roads,” Dustin demanded, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Lucas grabbed him by the shirt, tears still steadily falling from his eyes, “Find a way to save her. She can’t - she needs to - just -” He broke into a sob, “She can’t die, Eddie. Please.”

As his grip weakened, Dustin came to ease Lucas off of him, hugging him from the back. 

“I’m not going anywhere until I know how to save Max. That’s a promise.”

-

Ambulance sirens approached the kids as Eddie pulled away, dipping into the side roads. The urge to reset the loop hit him full force, only held off by the walkie that sit in the passenger seat, still scarily quiet. 

It only sprung to life ten minutes later, just as he was pulling up into the clearing.

“Eddie? Eddie do you copy?”

He almost dove across the RV to grab the walkie, pressing his forehead to the plastic before answering, tears settling in his eyes. “Steve?”

“Yeah, we made it out.”

“The bats?”

“Circled around, like you said they would. It took us longer to get out than we’d hoped but none of us are too worse for wear-”

His voice cut off, replaced with a frantic Nancy, “Max. Is she dead?”

“No, close but no. They should be on their way to the hospital right now.”

“How? What happened?”

“Jason jumped Lucas at the house - I have no clue how he knew they were there. The walkman got crushed in the fight.”

“Shit.”

Eddie nodded, hugging his knees to his chest as he bit his fist, trying his best not to start ripping his hair out, “You were right, Wheeler. Those visions? He was showing you everything that was gonna happen. He’s ripped Hawkins wide open.”

“Then we need to find a way to stop him - where are you right now?”

“Uh - a broken old cabin? Dustin said something about it being Hopper’s?”

“I know where that is - we’ll be there in 30. Over and out.”

Eddie placed the walkie down, leaning back against the wall and staring at the drop of blood that stained the cushion.

He didn’t know what to do with this. The knowledge of the upside down was enough to cope with on his own, but this? How was he supposed to look them all at skull rock, fresh-faced and hopeful, and tell them that the whole town was going to be ripped apart?

He couldn’t. He couldn’t do this again.

As the panic began to rise within him, he finally allowed his tears to fall. 

He was stupid for letting it get this far. He had somehow convinced himself that this would be the last time he’d ever have to go to the upside down, to stare death in the face and say ‘fuck you’. 

He had actually made progress with Steve, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was breathing the clear night air in Hawkins without the impending threat of fighting demobats hanging over him.

Yet, still, it was all for nothing.

Max was fighting for her life, Hawkins had been torn apart, and everything they had fought so hard for was for nought - Vecna still lived.

He would still end up alone, and he was no closer to figuring out how to stop the shitstorm that Vecna caused.

He winced as he re-opened the cut on his lip, wiping his eyes dry as the trailer door swung open.

“Look, my mum’s going to be going insane so I can’t stay long,” Nancy said, stepping into the trailer.

“Mine too,” Robin said, picking at her nails, “We just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”

Steve was the last to enter, concern painting his face as he took in Eddie’s appearance. “Your lip-” Eddie felt his face heat up as his finger brushed his lip, the man seeming to realise what he was doing and whipping his hand away.

“I know you might be wanting to reset the loop,” Nancy said, stepping in front of him, “But I need you to hold out for just a few days. We need to see if we can get in contact with the Byers - if they know something it might be essential to us beating this thing next time.” Eddie grimaced. “Please. Just wait.”

Robin leaned over Nancy’s shoulder, “At least you didn’t die horrifically.”

“Rob -”

“What? It was a compliment.”

He laughed weakly, shaking his head. “I’ll wait.”

Nancy squeezed his arms, “Thank you.”

He just nodded, feeling helpless to do anything else. “Well, I guess you’ll all be leaving then. I’ll just... I’ll just stay here.”

“Keep the walkie on, okay? You need anything, use it.”

He had no intention of doing that. “Sure.”

Steve frowned, moving to follow the girls out, but hesitating by the door. “Maybe I should stay with you tonight.”

“Don’t you have to get back? Won’t your parents-?”

“They’re out of state. They won’t call anyway... it’s not their style.”

Robin looked between the two of them, slowly beginning to smile, “That’s a great idea Steve!” she said, elbowing Nancy. Eddie just glared at her.

“Ow - right. Yeah, that’s... very kind of you.”

Before the two of them could say anything, Robin had grabbed a hold of Nancy’s arm and began to drag her away from the trailer.

“Well. That was weird.” Steve shrugged, closing the RV door and leaning against the wall. 

“Robin’s a weird person.” Eddie nodded, “A good weird though.”

“Yeah - she means well.”

The air seemed to settle around them awkwardly, both of them not quite sure what to say. Eddie’s eyes strayed to the kitchenette, “You know... unless they got to it before we could steal their trailer... I sold the owners a good joint.”

“...Weed? Really?”

“Unless I’ve remembered wrong, you enjoyed taking the occasional trip.” He said, walking over to the cupboard and pulling out the tin marked as ‘coffee grounds’, tipping it upside down and catching the joint and lighter in his hand. He scanned the rest of the cupboard while he did so, registering the bottle of vodka stashed on the top shelf.

Steve laughed then, raising his hands in surrender, “I never said I didn’t, just... is it really the best time to take it? Won’t it make us paranoid or some shit?”

Eddie shrugged, “This is a pretty small joint, not too much THC either so it should be pretty chill. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He pushed off the wall, moving to sit around the table, “If you’re sure you’re alright, then yeah.” 

Eddie grinned, sitting opposite Steve and lighting the joint, offering him the first drag. He watched as he inhaled it, pursing his lips as he exhaled. Even such a simple motion was enchanting, Eddie having to literally shake himself out of it as Steve handed the joint back.

“Is Dustin okay?”

Eddie sighed, massaging his temple with his free hand, taking a long drag. “I think so? He’s seen some shit today... I’ll be glad when he doesn’t have to remember any of it.”

A sad hum made him look up, Steve looking unsure what to say.

“It must be hard... to remember everything when everyone around you forgets.”

Eddie huffed, tension building in the back of his throat as he willed his tears to stay down. “It’s like I’m alone, even when I’m around people.” He eventually said, looking out of the window to avoid Steve’s sympathetic eyes. “I - I feel like every single one of you is my friend, and then the loop resets and I’m just... that guy who’s being hunted for murder.”

A hesitant hand settled over his, the simple gesture making Eddie’s heart flutter.

“I’m sorry.”

That made him turn around. “Sorry? Why would you be sorry? You can’t control it.”

“I know that, but...” he paused, taking another drag and passing it back to Eddie, exhaling the smoke as he spoke, “It can’t have been easy.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered to their hands, “No. No it hasn’t.”

As he took another hit, Steve squeezed his hand slightly, “But hey, you made it out. Furthest you’ve got so far!”

“Out to what? Hawkins on fire and Max in the hospital?”

“Okay, so it’s not the best outcome, but at least you dodged death.”

Eddie snorted a laugh “I’ve delayed it by a few days, but yeah. I’m glad not to have been ripped apart today.”

The tense atmosphere lifted slightly, Steve laughing.

“This is all fucked, isn’t it?”

Eddie began laughing too, nodding. “It’s all just fucked, man.”

Laughter turned into giggles, the spliff being passed between them until it was pretty much burned to a snub. At some point, Eddie had turned his hand around, fingers intertwining with Steve’s as if on instinct. Their hands stayed in the middle of the table, the younger man absentmindedly fiddling with Eddie’s silver rings.

Steve didn’t realise how much the little action was driving him crazy.

They had settled into a comfortable silence, the clinking of the rings being the only disruption. Such a level of calm was something that Eddie wasn’t accustomed to, and he could feel the tiredness sweeping over him. As if reading his mind, Steve yawned.

“I’m beat. Is there anywhere to sleep in this thing?”

Eddie laughed affectionately, “They lived in here, so yeah.”

Steve didn’t let go of his hand, so Eddie leaned back smiling, waiting to see how long it would take for him to realise.

He used this time to analyse his face - the way his lashes contrasted against his skin, the small smile that pulled at his lips as he fiddled with his rings, his hazel eyes that were slightly rimmed with red. 

The dark ring around his neck had begun to bruise, turning a deep purple. He thought that hickeys would be a better way to mark his skin. 

“So? Is there - oh.” Steve released Eddie’s hands, blushing, “Sorry.”

“No worries, babygirl.”

The blush intensified, “Why do you call me that?”

“What, babygirl?” Steve nodded. “Because it makes you blush.”

Steve covered his face, “No it doesn’t.”

Eddie just laughed, shaking his head, “Sure it doesn’t.”

He moved out from the table, moving to the seats at the back of the RV, lifting up two of the pillows and pulling out the sofa bed, bowing theatrically, “For you, my good sir: a bed.”

Steve snorted, “Why thank you.” He went to shuck his shoes off, pausing. “I’m dirty.”

“What?”

“Oh - sorry I thought I said the rest of that... was in my head.” He took a deep breath, gesturing to his torso, “I need to wash or I’ll mess up the bed.” 

“Lucky for you, Dustin told me there was a lake nearby.” Eddie grinned, “So, what do you say, King Harrington? Shall we take an early morning stroll to the lake?”

Steve huffed a laugh, “Let’s just hope it hasn’t been swallowed up by the evil cracks in the earth.”

Eddie nodded, “That would be royally fucked - might make a good jacuzzi though.”

He ushered Steve to the door, the weed seeming to hit the jock harder than he had expected. Eddie held back a laugh as he watched Steve stumble over himself, reaching out to steady him by holding him gently by the hips, helping correct his course.

“‘S been a while since I smoked,” Steve said suddenly, jumping out of the RV with a little flourish, “I haven’t... needed it as much. Recently.”

“Oh?”

“Before - before I dated Nancy, I had friends. Lots of friends - but they weren’t friends, y’know? They wanted... King Steve. Not me.” He kicked the dirt, “She made me realise that... was the first one to see me for me. When she left... now I’ve got Robin, and she makes the emptiness feel less suffocating.”

“Emptiness?”

“Loneliness, I guess. It’s like - my house right? It’s big. Yeah, I used to host parties there, and that made them full, but it still felt like I was alone. When Robin comes over... she sees me. It feels more full with her there than it ever did with those people.”

“The two of you are close -”

“And Platonic, with a capital P!”

Eddie laughed, reaching out to move Steve away from a stray branch. “Okay?”

“She’s my best friend... and sure I would’ve dated her if she wasn’t a le-” he cut himself off, eyes widening as his brain caught up with his mouth. “A - a loser! I meant loser!”

Eddie filed that information away for later, feeling a massive amount of relief that Robin wouldn’t be likely to out him any time soon. “Wow, calling your best friend a loser, that’s not very nice of you Harrington.”

He shrugged, “Well it’s true. Though I guess I’m a loser now too, so it’s fine.”

“I don’t think you’re a loser.”

Steve looked at Eddie, eyes flickering to his lips just long enough for the other man to register it, before moving to something behind him. “Lake!”

Before Eddie could fully register what was happening, Steve was shrugging off his clothes, making a beeline for the water. He laughed, following suit, jumping in next to Steve.

The two of them spent a few moments simply enjoying the feeling of the water, before Eddie turned to the other man, mischief in his eyes. He wound his arm back, propelling a mini wave in Steve’s direction.

“Hey!” He began laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world, running away from Steve as best he could. “You’re so going to regret that Munson!”

They waded into the shallower water, splashing each other as they went.

“This is not what I thought I’d be doing with my night,” Eddie confessed, wiping the wet hair out of his face.

“Neither... ow fuck.” Steve winced, taking off the sodden bandages and throwing them on to the bank.

Eddie began to step closer, bending slightly, “Can I...?”

Steve just nodded, resting his forearms on top of his head to give Eddie a better view. The bites were deep, though most were scabbed over there were a few still slowly oozing blood, most likely reopened during their trip to the upside down that night.

“When we get back to the RV I’ll clean and redress it properly,” Eddie said, giving in to his urges and letting his finger reach out and trace around the wounds, “I’m sure there’ll be a basic medkit in there.”

He jumped slightly at a touch on the back of his arm, standing up straight. 

“I haven’t had a good view of these before,” Steve explained, fingers tracing the Wyvern that decorated the backside of his forearm. “They’re cool.”

“Thanks,” Eddie smiled, “I’ve got 6 of them.” He gently grasped Steve’s wrist, moving his hand so it rested on his right collarbone, just over his spider tattoo, “This was my first one.”

His breath stuttered in his chest as Steve traced the shapes, moving on to the demon right under it. As he moved to the bats, Steve laughed. “Bit ironic.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

“It’s probably my favourite though.”

“Really, why?”

“I dunno. Just nice.”

“Wow, thank you for that amazing explanation.” Eddie drawled, laughing as Steve shoved him. “Do you ever think of getting any?”

“Tattoos?”

“What else?”

“Uh - Yeah, I’ve thought about it - I’m not sure what I’d get though.”

“Anything. Whatever you want.” Eddie grinned, “That’s the beauty of tattoos, no one can tell you what not to get.”

“Have you done any yourself?”

“Stick n pokes?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie nodded, “Only one,” he said, showing his wrist, “It’s a D20″

Steve smiled, grasping his hand gently and turning it so he could see the tattoo more clearly, “Dustin has those - its for D&D, right?”

“Sure is.”

“Do you think you could do one for me?” Steve asked, eyes shining in the sunrise.

“Sure,” he smiled, ignoring the returning gnawing feeling in his gut, warning him not to fall too deep, “I’d love to.”

“When this is all over?”

It felt like a promise, an oath made under the rising sun - that this conversation would be had again without the fear of forgetting. Eddie smiled.

“When this is all over.” 

-

By the time they got back to the RV, the sun had fully risen. 

“Let me redo your bandages and then we can crash for a few hours,” Eddie said, fighting a yawn. Steve simply nodded, perching on the edge of a chair, eyeing the bottle of vodka.

“Is that to drink?”

“I was going to use it to sanitise your cuts, but a little liquid courage couldn’t hurt.” Eddie shrugged, handing him the bottle before continuing to dig through the cupboard, emerging a few minutes later with a victorious shout. “Bandages!”

Steve took a few sips of vodka, handing the bottle back to Eddie with a wince, “Let’s just get this over with.”

Eddie downed a few gulps himself, before gently pouring the vodka over Steve’s torso, wincing sympathetically as his muscles tightened in response. Allowing it to air dry for a few moments, he opened the fresh pack of bandages, unwinding it slightly before kneeling in front of Steve. 

He took a few moments to allow his eyes to run over every scar and cut that decorated his skin, seeing a few lighter scars scattered among the fresh ones. He filed that information away for later, clearing his throat.

“Tell me if it’s too tight.”

Steve just nodded silently as Eddie began to re-wrap his wounds, thumbs brushing his side with each loop. Once he was satisfied, he leaned in to bite the bandage, ripping the extra off and putting it aside.

“You can breathe now” he teased, watching as Steve released the breath he had been holding.

“You’re shaping up to be a proper nurse.” Steve breathed, having not quite caught his breath, “Should buy you a uniform.”

Eddie laughed at that, getting up from the floor and placing his hand on the side of the chair, leaning over the other man slightly. As Steve looked up into his eyes, Eddie smirked, “Just say you want to see me in a sexy nurse’s costume, Harrington.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “Oh, so it’s like that now?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” he replied, grinning as he stood up straight, retreating to the bed at the back of the RV, “There’s got to be some spare clothes somewhere...”

He could feel Steve’s eyes on his back as he rooted through the drawers.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than black skinny jeans.”

“Didn’t know you took much notice of my fashion choices, Harrington.” he replied, fishing out two baggy pairs of trousers. 

“You were pretty hard not to notice.”

“Because I’m a freak?” he asked, words coming out lightly.

“Wha - no. No, you were just...” Steve scrambled to find the right words, catching the trousers as they were thrown at him, “Loud.”

Eddie laughed at that, slipping on the trousers before continuing to search for tops, “I guess that’s true.”

Silence fell over them once more, along with the tension of things unsaid.

It was broken with Eddie throwing a floral crop top at Steve’s head, “For your modesty.”

“You’re kidding,” he deadpanned, holding up the top, “This is the only thing?”

“Well, there’s one more you could try,” Eddie  snorted, holding up a dress, “Might not be a sexy nurse outfit, but I bet you could still rock it.”

Steve frowned slightly, pointing at the blue flannel shirt by Eddie’s foot, “Why can’t I wear that one?”

Eddie simply answered by shoving it over his head, shrugging. Rolling his eyes, Steve slipped the top on, glaring as the other man laughed.

“What?” Eddie asked, batting his eyelashes, “I think you look hot.”

His glaring quickly turned to a glower, “Shut it.”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender, though he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, “Okay, okay. Now are we gonna get some sleep or not?”

“Gonna spoon me, Munson?”

“In your dreams, cupcake."

Steve chortled, “That’s somehow worse than babygirl.”

Eddie grinned evilly in response, flopping on to the bed with an ‘oomf’ and patting the empty space. “Get your tight little ass in here, Stevie. I don’t know how much sleep we’ll be allowed to have.”

“Allowed?” he asked, burrowing under the blanket and looking at Eddie expectantly.

“Do you really think the girls will just leave us alone?” he replied, “They’re probably scared that I’ll do something stupid.”

“Not with me here, you wont.”

Eddie let out a breathy laugh, adjusting to a comfortable position, arms folded behind his head, “I guess I won’t.”

-

He was awoken a few hours later, eyes squinting against the sunlight that poured into the RV.

At some point during their sleep, Steve must have shifted, his head now lying on top of Eddie’s chest. The ends of his hair were still slightly damp, curling up slightly at the bottom. 

Eddie reached out to play with it, gently twisting the strands around his finger. As he did this, he took their position into account, smiling to himself as he registered the jock’s arm thrown across his torso, left leg entwined with his.

Steve Harrington slept like an octopus. 

He held back his laughter, so as not to wake him, instead letting himself enjoy the closeness of their bodies. Some deep part of Eddie was deeply touch-starved, the endless loops giving him limited opportunity for soft touch.

He managed to get a hug every now and then - Dustin would tackle him with a hug on certain loops when it was just too hard to keep pretending to be okay; Lucas, on the rare occasion he was away from Max for long enough, would give him a consoling ‘bro’ hug. 

Robin, weirdly, was the one that seemed unafraid of casual touches. Almost every loop she would pat him on the shoulder or back, the small touches helping tide Eddie over. 

But Steve - god, Steve. 

His touch was dangerous. The more Eddie was given, the more he craved. The man himself was like nicotine, and Eddie was the sucker that got hooked.

There was one loop back in the early days where Steve had pulled him in for a hug. Perhaps it was the look of desperation on his face, or maybe it was genuine concern borne from watching him get suspended in the air by a demobat, but Steve had pulled him into his chest and held him.

Seeing his face the next time the loop reset, unaware of the scary vulnerability of that moment, killed him. 

As much as he knew allowing himself to get this close to Steve - who was definitely a straight man, who was he kidding? - would hurt worse than any time before, he couldn’t seem to pull away. 

He had accepted his fate, to be hopelessly in love with a man who only met him for a few days at a time, before time ripped him away. It was the kind of pain that settled just under his ribcage, constant and aching - a reminder that despite everything, he was still here.

Pushing away those thoughts for now, Eddie tasked himself with memorising every groove of Steve’s sleeping face; to remember every freckle, every scrape.

He could’ve happily have laid like that forever, but the crackling of the radio coming to life ruined the quiet serenity of the morning, Dustin’s voice filtering through the static.

“Eddie. Steve. Do you copy? Over.”

Steve groaned, burying his head further into Eddie’s chest. The feel of warm cotton underneath his face seemed to register in the next few moments, the man scrambling off of Eddie with a rushed apology.

The metalhead simply laughed, sitting up to grab the walkie.

“Yes, little shrimp, we copy.” He continued holding the button, turning it so the speaker faced Steve.

“Yeah, man. We’re here.” At Eddie’s look, he continued, “Oh - uh - over.”

“Did you make it to Hopper’s safe? Over.”

“Yep, all good here.” Eddie said, looking at Steve as if asking the question.

“All good.” Steve parroted, eyes flicking to his lips for a split second. 

“How’s Max? Is she stable? Over”

“The docs said she was legally dead for over a minute - she’s on machines, but she’s alive” Dustin replied, voice tired, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. My mom freaked out when she got here...”

“Hey, don’t apologise for that shit Henderson, do you hear me?” he interrupted, “The whole town broke apart, you needed to be there for your mom. Over.”

He could feel Steve’s eyes on the side of his face as he waited for Dustin to reply, though he didn’t look up, scared that he wouldn’t be able to look away from him.

“I know... Are the two of you okay? Over.”

“Wishing that we’d taken a better stocked RV. You don’t wanna see what we look like right now, man.”

Steve reached over to take the walkie from his hands, “Eddie looks fine - I’ve got the shit end of the deal.” At Eddie’s laughter, Steve shoved him, a smile threatening to ruin his rant, “If anyone’s coming with a goods drop I’d very much appreciate some of my own clothes. Over.”

“Mom doesn’t want to let me out of her sight. I’ll call the Wheeler’s and ask Nancy to bring you some stuff. Over.”

“Okay, you give Mrs Henderson a hug for me, will you? Take care of yourself, we’ll see you soon. Over and out.”

Steve put the walkie down with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. “She’s alive.”

Eddie shook his head, bringing his knees up to his chest and biting on the ends of his hair, “You didn’t see her, man. Her eyes... I held her on my back, and I could feel her joints just - swinging -” He cut himself off, a comforting weight landing on his shoulder. “I don’t know how someone can come back from that.”

“So we find a way to stop it.”

Eddie laughed tearfully, jumping up from his seat on the bed and pacing up and down, “It resets for you. I get that. You didn’t have to see, and you won’t have to see that - ever. But me?” he laughed again, more maniacal this time, and threw his hands in the air, “I’ve seen almost every one of you die. Those are images that will forever be seared into my brain, and when something goes wrong after I’ve tried to change the other bad things? Then it’s my fault.”

“Eddie -”

“I don’t let anyone else be the distraction because I’ll be damned if I have to watch another one of you get ripped apart - I have to let you dive through the gate and watch you get hurt, because if I don’t then someone else dies - there are so many choices that I have to make and none of them leads to a better ending.”

“Eddie -”

“Even when I get out, it’s all for nothing! Vecna’s not dead, Hawkins has cracked open, Max is dying and still I have no idea how to fix any of it!”

“Eddie!” Steve yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him slightly, “It’s okay! You’re okay.”

He broke down into tears then, shaking his head, “No, it’s not okay. I don’t think any of this can ever be okay.”

Steve’s face crumpled, placing his hand on the back of Eddie’s head and gently guiding him into the crook of his neck. He held him as he broke down, murmuring reassurance into his hair.

As Eddie’s sobs turned into quiet tears, Steve spoke, his words carefully measured. “I know there’s nothing I can say to you to make this better - no words could help you cope with all the shit you’ve witnessed - but I think you deserve to hear these: thank you.”

“What?”

“Thank you for not giving up on us. All of these loops... the fact that you’re still fighting to fix everything is amazing.”

Eddie scoffed, pulling his head back and meeting Steve’s eyes, “Not like I have much of a choice.”

“No, man. You do.” As Eddie went to look away, Steve grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look at him. “I’m serious, Eds. You didn’t have to tell any of us what was going on. You didn’t have to keep trying to fix everything, but you did. You kept trying, and that’s more than most would do.”

“You give me too much credit -”

“No. No I don’t.”

“You do.” He freed his chin, not wanting to see the disappointment in Steve’s eyes. “There were about 20 loops near the beginning where I would just... break into your house and drink all the booze.”

Steve looked at him closely, a small frown on his face as he ran the words over in his head. “Yesterday, before we went into Lovers Lake you were talking to Dustin... You saw him die, didn’t you?”

Eddie’s throat tightened, “Yeah.”

“Wouldn’t let anyone else be the distraction” Steve echoed, frown deepening, “Did he -”

“He wouldn’t go back through the gate.” Eddie explained, throat hoarse, “I tried to - he wouldn’t - said he didn’t want me to be alone”

“The bats... they didn’t get you?” Eddie shook his head. “So you...” He didn’t need to answer, Steve’s face dropping at the words unsaid. “Shit, man.”

Eddie finally looked up, forcing a smile and shrugging, “I wasn’t going to wait around.”

“Have you... did I..?”

“Once. Third loop.”

Steve whistled, fingers absentmindedly touching the bruise around his neck. “You know, that’s a really weird feeling... knowing that I died.”

Eddie huffed, weakly smiling. “Welcome to the club.”

He laughed at that, in a way that no one other than Steve Harrington could, impossibly lifting the heavy atmosphere. 

Wiping his face clear of tears, Eddie took a steadying breath. “Right. Let’s see what shitty excuse of a breakfast we can cook up, yeah?”

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #fanfic #slowburn #time loop #eddie munson being a bamf #dustin henderson #found family #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #steddie fanfic

[clintbartonswife]

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Pairings: Steddie, Ronance, best friends!Eddie & Dustin

spoilers for Vol 2 of stranger things under the cut

Summary: what i think happened when the group in the upside down come back to eddie’s cabin.

TW: mentions of blood/death, all that jazz.

---

Eddie could feel the blood oozing down his side, gritting his teeth as he tried to loosen the bat that had wrapped around his neck in a vice grip. It seemed pointless, impossible to fight against the swarm that circled above him.

At least Dustin was safe.

Eddie was never one to make the sacrifice play. Hell, he’d been running from that sort of shit all of his life. Something about this though - the end of the fucking world - seemed to awaken something in him.

For the first time in his life, Eddie had fought. He had wanted to fight. And yeah, maybe it didn’t work out perfectly, but he was sure as hell not going to let Dustin die surrounded by slimy vines and demobats.

“EDDIE!”

No.

Eddie craned his head to the side, just about making out Dustin’s figure approaching from the trailer park. Panic flared up inside of him, the fight within him renewed.

He let out a shout of anguish as the bats on his torso dug deeper into his flesh, a new wave of blood pouring out on to the ground below him. 

“You - can’t -” he ripped his left hand free, grabbing the tail around his neck and sinking his nails in, squeezing with all the energy he had left, “- can’t have - him.”

“EDDIE”

A pulse seemed to go through the air, the bats suddenly going limp, falling out of the sky with a pained whine. 

It was over.

He winced, choking on blood as Dustin came to his side. He couldn’t believe the last thing he was gonna see was a shitty grey sky.

“Oh God!” The younger boy fell to his knees beside him, hovering nervously above him, not quite sure of where to put his hands, “Oh God, Eddie-”

He couldn’t feel his legs. 

“Bad, huh?”

Dustin tried to lift him onto his lap. He should be able to feel that. “No, no, no. You’re gonna be fine - we’ve just gotta get you to a hospital”

“Okay.” Eddie shifted his eyes from the sky on to Dustin. Instinctively he found himself searching his face for injuries, a ghost of relief spreading through him at the lack of blood. 

He didn’t allow himself to focus on the look of horror.

Dustin tried again to lift him on to his lap, the movement making Eddie’s vision blur. “Alright, alright.”

“I think...”

Dustin grunted in frustration, “Come on-”

“I think I just - I think I just need a second, okay?” 

“Okay - hey”

He was lowered back down again, choking on more blood as Dustin kept an arm behind his head. It was more comfortable this way, and Eddie made sure to not let his eyes stray from his face. He would be damned if that wasn’t the last thing he saw.

In spite of himself, he smiled.

“I didn’t run away this time, right?”

Dustin started to cry, the tears falling on to Eddie’s cheek. “No. No, no - you didn’t run.”

“You’re gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?”

Dustin’s grip tightened, the pressure finally enough that he could feel it even despite the numbness that had spreading throughout his body. "You’re gonna do that yourself”

“Nah, man.” He felt a tear slip from his eye, “Say ‘I’m gonna look after them’.”

Eddie saw the moment his words settled in, a new wave of tears falling from Dustin’s eyes as he shook his head in denial.

“Say it.”

“I’m - I’m gonna look after...” He broke off, a sob wracking through his body.

“Good.” Eddie’s lungs seemed to rattle, “Cos I think I’m actually gonna graduate.”

He tried to laugh, ribs protesting. Instead, he focused on Dustin - to see this look on his face was wrong. The kid always smiled. He decided that tears didn’t suit him.

“I think it’s my year, Henderson. I think it’s finally - my year.”

Dustin averted his eyes and smiled, an anguished smile, but a smile nonetheless.

It hit Eddie then, as he struggled to draw another breath, that after all of the shit he had waded through, he was finally at the end. His mind raced with everything he needed to say - to Steve, to the kids, to his uncle. Yet, sitting in front of Dustin, he knew there was only one thing he could say.

“I love you, man.”

Dustin’s face scrunched up, hitting the ground before finally making eye contact with him, voice trembling. “I love you too.”

He could feel his body giving up, could see his hand in Dustin’s. All he could feel was the cold.

As his thoughts began to clear, looking into Dustin’s face, he surprisingly only had one regret about his life. He had never got to tell Steve that he loved him.

“Eddie - Eddie?”

----

Steve knew something was wrong the moment they rounded the corner.

“I’m just saying, maybe he did die but he just disintegrated -”

“Robin -”

“It’s possible! Right? Everything in here is a mess of weird, grey flaky things and tentacles, who’s to say that he wouldn’t become a pile of gunk when he dies?”

“Robin!” Nancy cut her off, squeezing their entwined hands, “Lets theorise after we get out of here, yeah?”

Steve could see Nancy looking at him for support in his peripherals, but his eyes were fixed on the two figures by the caravans, surrounded by dead demobats. His steps faltered, breath hitching.

“...Steve?”

Robin followed his eyeline, “Holy shit-”

Her voice seemed to break him out of his trance, running faster than he ever thought possible until he skidded to a halt at Dustin’s side. The kid was sobbing uncontrollably, leaning over Eddie.

“Henderson - what’s wrong?”

Dustin only crowded nearer to Eddie, back tensing as his sobbing grew louder.

Panic struck through Steve all at once, “Is he hurt? Henderson! Is he hurt?”

The kid finally looked up, “I -”

The girls came up behind him, Nancy slipping an arm around Dustin’s chest, easing him back so that he leaned on her. “Hey - you’re okay.” she kept repeating, “Dustin, you’re okay.”

As soon as Dustin moved, Steve knew that something was very wrong. Eddie was limp, his head falling to the ground with a thump.

“E- Eddie?”

“He didn’t run,” Dustin sobbed, turning around and burying his head in Nancy’s jacket, “He fought - he fought.”

Steve felt his knees give way, landing heavily on the ground next to the metalhead. “He just - he just needs a hospital, right?” Even as he spoke the words he knew he was wrong, that there was no coming back from this. “We just - we just need to get him to a hospital.”

“Steve -” Robin’s voice was gentle, though he knew her well enough to know she was on the brink of tears.

“No.” Steve reached for Eddie, fists balling up into his jacket as he searched his face for any sign of life. “He just needs help - he just needs...”

His words were stopped by a sob, his hands desperately searching across his boyfriend’s chest for a heartbeat, a breath, anything.

Robin was behind him now, hands on his shoulders, holding him up as he fell apart.

“No, no, no, no, no. He’s not - “ Steve’s voice cracked as he finally registered Eddie’s state, blood covering almost every part of him. Shrugging Robin’s hands off, he leaned over his body, cupping Eddie’s face with shaking hands. “You said you wouldn’t be a hero - you promised me.”

Steve tuned everything out, eyes running over every part of his face before coming to rest on his mouth. Blood had spilled from his lips, bite marks on his cheeks. Steve fought tears as he lifted a hand, to rub the blood away. It didn’t belong there. 

Everything about this situation was wrong.

“Goddamnit, Eddie.”

Steve finally felt the last of his adrenaline leave his system, his head coming to rest on Eddie’s unnaturally still chest. As long as he had known Munson, he had never seen him standing still. He was always fidgeting with something; his hair, his chains, his rings. 

It was one of the things he liked the most about him. He looked so full of life. It was also one of the things he had teased him about the most when they were at school, not that Eddie let it get to him. His harsh words were always met with a sly comment, and when alone, a flirty remark.

His mind went back to a few weeks before he graduated, when he bumped into Eddie in the woods. Steve was avoiding his old friends - not that he could even really call them that - and had somehow stumbled across Eddie’s little sanctuary.

‘Stalking me, Harrington?’

‘You wish.’

‘Just admit you’ve got a crush, Harrington.’

‘Oh, fuck off Munson.’

Despite the tension between them, Eddie had seen the look on his face and offered Steve a seat. He hadn’t deserved it.

They had sat there in near-silence, Eddie obnoxiously drumming a beat on the table with his fingers, until Steve spoke.

‘I’ve always wondered, what does that handkerchief in your pocket mean?’

‘What?’

‘The - the handkerchief.’

Eddie had smirked, a confident smirk that made Steve feel more flustered than he’d ever admit.

‘Know what sadomasochism is, Harrington?’

Steve had blushed.

‘I see you do - good King Steve, a kinky big boy. Who would’ve thought?’

Steve’s defences had sprung up immediately, throwing a ‘Whatever, freak.’ at him before fleeing the clearing. He regretted the words as soon as he had said them.

Now, staring at his bloodied face, he cursed himself for all the time that they had lost. If he hadn’t been so full of pride, maybe they could’ve had months together, a year even. But no, all they had was a small collection of stolen moments - rushed confessions and secret kisses.

“-ve. Steve.”

“What?” His voice came out flat, as if any emotion would cause him to lose himself again.

“We need to go. The others...” Nancy trailed off, though he could fill in the gaps.

“We’re not leaving him here-”

“Steve, we cant carry him through with us.”

Something within him snapped. “We’re not leaving him here to be food for the fucking creep that killed him!”

“Steve we cant -”

“Just -” he choked down the sob that was threatening to take over him, looking up at Robin, “You go through - get Dustin back safe. I’ll - I’ll carry him to another gate -”

“Steve -”

“There’s got to be one on - on the other side of the forest -”

“Steve -”

“By where that newspaper boy died -”

“Steve.”

Dustin knelt in front of him, eyes bloodshot and puffy. “I don’t want to leave him here either, but Ed-” he took a shaky breath, “Eddie would not want us to die in here after everything he did.”

“The bats -”

“Are unconscious now,” Nancy interrupted, “We don’t know how long they’ll stay that way.”

As if to prove her point, a bat close to them twitched.

Robin looked at him, a broken but sheepish smile on her face. “I really don’t want to run from a swarm of rabies again, Steve.”

He stared at Eddie for another moment before reluctantly nodding. 

“I’m sorry Eddie” Dustin whispered, slipping his guitar pick necklace off from around his neck. At Steve’s look, he shrugged meekly, “For his uncle.”

“Right -” Steve nodded absently, “that makes sense.”

Dustin squeezed Eddie’s hand one last time before stepping away, tears falling down his cheeks once more.

“Steve...”

He waved Robin off, “Yeah, I know. Just - give me a minute?”

She nodded, offering him a small smile before stepping back, joining Nancy and Dustin by the trailer. 

“Fucking hell, Eddie. We were supposed to make it out of this.” Steve pressed their foreheads together for a brief moment, wincing at the coldness of his skin. “I never got to -” He broke off, taking a deep breath in before telling him the three words he had most wanted to say. “I love you.” 

Steve faltered for a moment, slipping one of his silver rings off his finger and putting it on his before standing up.

“Let’s just get out of here.”

#steddie #ronance #vol 2 spoilers #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #the upside down #demobats #angsty fic #angst #major character death

[clintbartonswife]

aww thank you !!

Birds of a feather

Pairings: Clint Barton x Reader Summary: New to the Avengers, you’re told to stick by Clint’s side during the mission - which is a terrible idea really, considering you both act like children Made for @brooklynbarrnes writing challenge using the prompt: “When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, brain, jaw.” (bolded) Warning: senseless killing- but they’re HYDRA so fuck them, also the names for these shooting patterns are shit but hard to come up with so I apologise in advance masterlist

“Y/N, stick with Clint”

You held back your laughter at Steve’s order, throwing him a semi-sarcastic salute before walking over to Clint side.

“Oh this is gonna be fun” he sniggered, making eye contact with Natasha who was shaking her head, a look of incredulity on her face, “You up for a friendly competition?”

“You betcha Hawkeye” you smirked, checking your thigh holster, “What’s the game?”

“Most creative kills?”

“Oh you’re going down” 

He just shook his head, smile only growing as he ran over ideas in his mind. 

Keep reading

#comment reblog

[clintbartonswife]

Hey sorry to bother, but do you still write/take requests for twd?

yep! requests are still open but I ask you to have some patience with me trying to work through them <3

#requests #ask #requests are open

[clintbartonswife]

thank you !!

i wish you all the best for this coming year <33

(sorry for the late reply)

New Year

As we say bye to 2021

Sending this out to

@bolontiku @sllooney @tilltheendwilliwrite @what-is-your-plan-today @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @talesmaniac89 @heyletsgetlosttogether @twittytelly @jewels2876 @jobean12-blog @jennmurawski13-writes @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @denisemarieangelina @sagechanoafterdark @shotsbyshae @jay-and-dean @roonyxx @navybrat817 @allaboardthereadingrailroad @avengerofyourheart @avengerscompound @angrythingstarlight @beyondspaceandstars @bitsandbobsandstuff @bonkywobble @buckysknifecollection @callmeluna @carryonmywaywardcaptain @clintbartonswife @deanwanddamons @elatedmarvel @fandom-basurero @fangirlovestuff @fictivefrolic @fvckingavengers @give-me-a-moose @heli0s-writes @high-functioning-lokipath @howlingmedic @imaginedreamwrite @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @imagining-supernatural @iwillbeinmynest @just-the-hiddles @katymacsupernatural @littledarlinwrites @loki-hargreeves @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @luci-in-trenchcoats @magellan-88 @marvelgirl7 @mostly-marvel-musings @muchadoaboutbucky @nevertoofarfromivar @notyetneedcoffee @percywinchester27 @plus-size-reader @shield-agent78 @shreddedparchment @shy-violet-soul @sidehowriting @simsadventures @sinner-as-saint @smediumsmeatbae @softbiker @specialagentlokitty @spinsterlocity-writes @stargazingfangirl18 @starlight-loki @starlightcrystalline @supernatural-jackles  @supernaturallymarvelous  @sunflowerxbarnes @sunriserose1023 @the-emo-asgardian @the–sad–hatter @thenerdyhooker @that-damn-girl @thatfangirl42 @theycallmebecca @thinkinghardhardlythinking @tuiccim @vodka-and-some-sass @waywardnerd67 @welldonebeca @whatareyousearchingfordean @whisperlullaby @winchester19-67 @wkemeup @world-of-aus @writingfromkitchenator @writingsoftheloser @why-did-i-write-this @xbuchananbarnes  

And so many others, I know that I’m forgetting someone. Again, I thank all of you & wish you a wonderful 2022!!!!

#personal

[clintbartonswife]

brothers

Pairings: Jaksier x Eskel, past!Geralt x Jaskier Summary: Jaskier and Lambert make their way to Kaer Morhen with a recovering Eskel. Notes: a little bit of geralt bashing, the song Jaskier writes is Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron masterlist     ||     part one      ||      part two

By the time the sun had risen, Eskel was more or less lucid.

Fever still clung to him, but he was aware and awake, able to talk coherently and feed himself the breakfast that Jaskier had thrown together.

“We should leave soon,” Lambert said, rolling up his bedroll, “Winter’s fast approaching and the trail will be covered in snow before the end of the month.”

Jaskier simply nodded, patting Scorpion lightly as he put the last of the rations into the saddlebag, adjusting the lute on his shoulder with a determined glint in his eye. “I’ll do my best to get you both there on time.”

“Didn’t have to do this” Eskel said, voice weak but thankful.

The bard smiled gently at him, “Yes I did.”

“Stubborn little bard.”

“That’s me.” he sang, escorting Scorpion over as Lambert helped Eskel to his feet, “Though I think you’ll find it useful, all things considered.”

-

Jaskier had been humming under his breath for most of the day, walking in between the two witchers’ horses without complaint. 

“You alright down there, little sparrow?”

Jaskier quirked his eyebrow, “Sparrow?”

Eskel looked considerably embarrassed, avoiding Jaskier’s eye as Lambert guffawed. “Because - because you’re always making music.”

Jaskier grinned at this, hitting Lamberts leg with a muttered lighthearted insult, “Well, I’ve certainly had worse nicknames... would you care to hear some songs, then?”

“What about that song you sang the other day?”

Jaskier raised his eyebrows, turning to Eskel with a barely restrained fondness, “You remember that one?”

“Well, you only sang a little bit, but I know I liked it.”

Jaskier ducked his head to hide the slight blush that spread across his cheeks, swinging his lute around to his front and plucking a few strings. Once he was sure that it was fully tuned, he began strumming. 

“Oh, there's a river that winds on forever I'm gonna see where it leads Oh, there's a mountain that no man has mounted I'm gonna stand on the peak”

Eskel let out a small happy noise at the familiar lyrics, and Jaskier felt his smile widen. “Out there's a land that time don't command Wanna be the first to arrive No time for ponderin' why I'm a-wanderin' Not while we're both still alive”

The next lyrics were ones that had been swirling around Jaskier’s mind for a while, a distant conversation of the coast tightening his chest. “To the ends of the earth would you follow me? There's a world that was meant for our eyes to see To the ends of the earth would you follow me? If you won't I must say my goodbyes to thee”

Clearing his head of the bad memories of harsh wishes and broken hearts, Jaskier instead looked ahead of him, to the two witchers riding upon their steeds towards the ever illusive Kaer Morhen.  “Oh, there's an island where all things are silent I'm gonna whistle a tune Oh, there's a desert that size can't be measured I'm gonna count all the dunes”

“What does that even mean?” Lambert asked, shutting up as Eskel levelled him with a harsh glare.

“It’s a metaphor, you illiterate ass.”

“Hey!”

Jaskier just laughed, plucking the tune until they stopped bickering, seamlessly transitioning to the next verse with a wink. “Out there's a world that calls for me, girl Headin' out into the unknown Wayfarin' strangers and all kinds of danger Please don't say I'm going alone”

“See, now that makes sense-”

“Shut up.” “To the ends of the earth would you follow me? There's a world that was meant for our eyes to see To the ends of the earth would you follow me? If you won't I must say my goodbyes to thee”

“And that’s as far as I’ve got” Jaskier shrugged, shouldering his lute once more.

“Well, I liked it” Eskel smiled, “and I look forward to hearing the finished song.”

Lambert huffed a laugh, “ok, but seriously bard, what did you mean by dunes.”

Jaskier snickered as Eskel hit him in the side, the Witcher wobbling slightly from the sudden exertion, “Melitele’s tits, Lamb. It’s a song!”

“Ok, ok, don’t go falling off Scorpion. It’s hard enough work getting you on that horse in the mornings.”

Jaskier watched the exchange fondly, honoured that they felt comfortable enough in his presence to drop the scary Witcher façade, instead just acting like a pair of bickering brothers.

“Now, now, children. Let’s all calm down.”

“I know you’re not calling me a child,” Lambert scoffed, “I was born decades before your parents even met.”

“And yet, an old man still acts more immature than me.” His words were spoken with a smirk, only getting larger as Eskel covered his sudden laughter with a cough.

“Why you-”

Jaskier dodged Lamberts mock attack, melodic laughter escaping him.

“You are a flighty little thing, aren’t you” Lambert snickered, “You should be lucky that I can’t be arsed to get down to kick your teeth in.”

“Eskel would protect me, wouldn’t you darling?” 

The term of endearment escaped him without meaning to, Eskel seeming to choke on air, “Yeah - yeah of course.”

“He’s half awake on that damn horse, he couldn’t fight me if he tried.”

“Just you wait,” Jaskier grinned, walking closer to Eskel’s side, “When he’s fully healed, he’ll beat your arse.”

Eskel’s chest puffed, wiggling his eyebrows at his brother. 

“Oh shut up - come on, the town’s right up there.”

“I can’t wait to sleep on an actual bed again” Jaskier grinned, skipping ahead of the two, “Do you think they’ll be in need of a bard? I could round up enough money for some more of those potions ingredients you need.”

“I’ll go out looking for some of the herbs in the surrounding forest before going to the apothecary. Cheaper that way,” Lambert answered, though the beginnings of a fond smile was pulling at his lips, “You’ll just need to make sure Eskel doesn’t fall down dead while I’m not there.”

“Oh bugger off.”

#the witcher #jaskier #jaskier x eskel #eskel x jaskier #eskel #lambert #fic #the witcher fanfic