agentbrainspit

[agentbrainspit]

[agentbrainspit]

New anxiety

Living in NYC I have had the opportunity to be around people from all over the globe. It was awesome! Then I moved to a smaller city where the people were predominantly white. Thats also fine, I love everyone. But over the years I started to see and experience some things that have now led to a new type of anxiety for me.

-I feel uncomfortable in a room with a lone white man with a hard face.

-I feel uncomfortable being in a car with a lone white man.

-I feel uncomfortable going on a date with a white man who wants to take me back to his place.

I want you to know that this 13456789% has nothing to do with race. It does however have everything to do to with the fact that something negative has happened to me in these situations involving white men.

My Uber driver started to veer off of the map directions to my destination when he noticed I was drunk, and tried to sweet talk me. I made the mistake of sitting in the front seat. Luckily I noticed we were going the wrong way and had to combat that right away.

I went on a date that I thought was going well, until he was violent with me when we were behind closed doors.

I couldn't enjoy myself at a gathering with friends bc the lone white male kept shooting disgusting looks at me and saying awful things under his breath. The energy radiating off of him made me feel like I couldn't breathe. My anxiety was very visible and apparent to everyone else in the room.

There have been a few other instances where my brown skin was an issue for some white men and I had to try my best to block out all the vile things that were said to me. Or even the opposite, where they liked my skin but too much, and asked disgusting things of me then berated me when I didn't do what was asked, making me feel like a piece of meat.

Now of course, I know that in every community there will be someone that can say or do hurtful things, but never in my life have I had THIS much negative experience with a group of people. I've seen and heard these men say and do awful things to others, and I might have even saved someone from being date raped. That was a scary experience and I hope this never happens to anyone.

Never have I before had this kind of anxiety, but now I become highly uncomfortable being around a lone white male, not because of what society tells me I should feel, but because of how these men and their actions make me feel. I know not every white man is like this, but I have had way too many experiences in a short amount of time that really made me start to think otherwise. This is something I need to work on, but what I really want, is for men in general to not be gross, to anyone. Period.

Please, I ask you all to stay alert when you are out alone, protect your circle if you are out with friends, and also keep an eye out for others who may be alone because you just never know. Be safe out there. <3

#anxiety #agentbrainspit #writing #life #mental health #white men

[agentbrainspit]

Always. 

14 Ways to Stimulate Personal Growth

1. KNOW YOURSELF Self-knowledge is not just about knowing your likes and dislikes. it’s about knowing who you truly are as a person.

2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE I’m talking about inner beauty. of course. People that have a story to tell, gifts to share and lessons to teach.

3. RID YOURSELF OF PEOPLE WHO BRING YOU DOWN

4. ‘THREE GOOD THINGS’ PRACTICE Each day. write down three good things that happened throughout your day, or three things you are thankful for.

5. AVOID COMPARING YOURSELF TO WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

6. WRITE Whether it’s a public blog or a private journal, writing is a therapeutic outlet for your thoughts.

Keep reading

[agentbrainspit]

Mental Health Convos

HEY! So, this past year or so, with the rise and fall, as rise again of this pandemic we’re in, I started to check in with friends on their mental health. I don’t know about you, but I know that mine for sure has been a bit rocky. Anxieties are high and my demeanor towards the outside world has changed a bit. But thats ok! We are learning, and unlearning, how to combat those feelings, and more importantly how to express those feelings. Sometimes just getting it out can be really helpful, but we may struggle a bit with getting the words out. We stumbled upon a topic during all this healing: CONVERSATIONS WE AREN’T HAVING. 

You know that saying ‘if I knew then what I know now”..? yea, we have all said that at least once. But what does that mean for you? What is a conversation you wish you had years ago, and how would it affect your life today? It could be about anything, your body, traumas, behavior, or even those of others. Its important to have hard conversations, even though they are in fact really hard to have. It promotes communication, bonding, healing, and even closure for some people. There is also an added level of understanding that can help you grow in to a wiser, more successful and stress free human. 

We decided to start the discussion, and are in the works of launching a podcast. So with this, I ask you, 

What is a conversation you wish you had long ago, and how with it have affected your life today? 

#art #podcast #mental health #discussion #agentbrainspit #conversations

[agentbrainspit]

THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!!!! Almost done tho.. I think I need new markers. oops! 

#art #draw #plants #aliens #markers

[agentbrainspit]

Hey all! Its been ages since ive been on here but im back and ready to pump this page full of wild and whacky stuff. Woohoo! 

#draw #art #doodle #abstract #agentbrainspit

[agentbrainspit]

New Orleans ❤

[agentbrainspit]

Just got a #Wacom tablet earlier and I’m IN LOVE!! Re-drawing and old sketch I did. Still have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but holy crap is this thing fun! 😍 #draw #sketchbook #art #digital #wacomtablet #doodle #creepy https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxl7p9Oh2Zq/?igshid=19f5dew9j14s8

#wacom #draw #sketchbook #art #digital #wacomtablet #doodle #creepy

[agentbrainspit]

Oh hey, my lucky day. Look who it be. 😎🔥. @jeremymraymer #art #mural #pittsburgh #raymer #love https://www.instagram.com/p/BxO7AK-Bvbk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hgpiydnzpp2i

#art #mural #pittsburgh #raymer #love

[agentbrainspit]

Look at my new friend!! His name is Steeve. Thank you so much @_flying.fox_ at @ravenwood_collective for this fun lil dude!!! I love him ❤️. You’re the best, and Happy Birthday!!! 🎂❤️❤️❤️❤️🤘🏼 #ravenwoodcollective #beetlejuice #flash #tattoo #shrunkenhead #timburton #treatyoself #art https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwn9ofqBpl4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=isqu916cbzl5

#ravenwoodcollective #beetlejuice #flash #tattoo #shrunkenhead #timburton #treatyoself #art

[agentbrainspit]

I got this tattoo a couple weeks ago, but I’ve been having a hard time posting it. In October, someone I cared about passed away way too soon. He had a heart condition. I drew up this heart for him, and since he enjoyed my work, I figured what a beautiful way to honor him by getting his piece tattooed, that way I can carry him with me forever. Thank you sooo Soo soooo much @_flying.fox_ for inking this up for me, and celebrating our friend with us. It looks amazing and I cried forever when I got home. I know he loves it. 😍 You’re a gem. Truly. ❤️. I love you Shwinky. Right right. ❤️. #tattoo #ravenwoodcollective @ravenwood_collective #lawrenceville #pittsburgh #heart #art #memorialtattoo https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvey13PhAAY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12b231v5fwid3

#tattoo #ravenwoodcollective #lawrenceville #pittsburgh #heart #art #memorialtattoo

[agentbrainspit]

April. “April comes like an idiot, babbling and stewing flowers.”- Edna St. Vincent Millay. I love this lil spread. This is the first yr making my own bullet planner and for real for real, it’s great! Grounding as heck! #april #bujo #bulletjournal #calendar #diy #stabilo #rain https://www.instagram.com/p/BvUnN2OhkG-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15rr3fh6olpst

#april #bujo #bulletjournal #calendar #diy #stabilo #rain

[agentbrainspit]

Gonna attempt to work on this today. I’m intimidated, not gonna lie. But life is a challenge. So let’s do this!! #dollhouse #greenhouse #miniature #tiny #diy https://www.instagram.com/p/BvKT8BKBTmU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1umnzbag1592z

#dollhouse #greenhouse #miniature #tiny #diy

[agentbrainspit]

Forgive my goon face. Appreciate my shirt. #raisebetterwhitepeople Got this dope shirt from @lesliemac23 I got some looks, but they didn’t say a thing to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ One guy had a malfunction. Bloop! #support #local #getyourshittogether #battlevest #effyourbeautystandards #human #loveyourfellowhuman #lesliemac https://www.instagram.com/p/BuMgS98B4D3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10fjachfmt9uq

#raisebetterwhitepeople #support #local #getyourshittogether #battlevest #effyourbeautystandards #human #loveyourfellowhuman #lesliemac

[agentbrainspit]

Got some new fly kicks. Excited! #sneakers #lightupshoes #bright #lights #kids #rave #party #funky #kicks #lit #comefindmeinthedark https://www.instagram.com/p/BuK-hA8hGTK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5tv68jri2ayt

#sneakers #lightupshoes #bright #lights #kids #rave #party #funky #kicks #lit #comefindmeinthedark

[agentbrainspit]

Working on my planner for this month. Kinda fun and surprisingly relaxing. #weekly #bujo #planner #february #pink #bulletjournal #art #flowers #tracker https://www.instagram.com/p/BtXI9d6Bq3Q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11pfh0jtnyesb

#weekly #bujo #planner #february #pink #bulletjournal #art #flowers #tracker

[agentbrainspit]

A little doodle in my planner. 🌹 #doodles #flowers #february #bujo #weekly #calendar #planner #prismacolor #red #love #valentines #draw #sketch #colorpop https://www.instagram.com/p/BtU5cTBBrs-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=krkyjdftyi1

#doodles #flowers #february #bujo #weekly #calendar #planner #prismacolor #red #love #valentines #draw #sketch #colorpop