incorrectpeterparker
incorrectpeterparker
Incorrect Peter Parker
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incorrectpeterparker · 8 hours ago
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[On a mission]
Bucky: It's so dark in here, does anybody have a light?
Peter: I got this! Lemme just-
Sam: If you stomp your light up sneakers I will tell Stark you were the one who blew up the lab.
Peter: *gently sets his foot down*
Bucky: *confused old man noises*
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incorrectpeterparker · 6 days ago
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*babysitting Morgan*
Peter, high pitched: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
MJ, in a deep voice: Nonsense, Barbie. You are staying home to take care of the kids.
Tony: What are you two doing?
Peter and MJ, in sync: Playing systematic oppression.
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incorrectpeterparker · 6 days ago
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Tony : I have to say kid, I'm a little sorry for you
Peter, talking around a broken jaw: This is a spor's rela'ed i-injury! Tha' makes me coo'!
Tony : Tripping on a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!
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incorrectpeterparker · 8 days ago
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Peter: C'mon Mr. Stark, when have I ever done something irresponsible?
Tony, pulling out his notebook: Would you like me to go chronologically or in alphabetical order?
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incorrectpeterparker · 9 days ago
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[training]
Tony: Alright, kid, I’m gonna be the mugger, sounds good?
Peter: Sure
Tony: Give me all your money
Peter: Bold of you to assume I have any money
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incorrectpeterparker · 13 days ago
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glad my school has great taste and showed black widow😌😌
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incorrectpeterparker · 13 days ago
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Tony: Peter where are you?
Peter: I’m in a Denny’s
Tony: Why did the fuck did you go to a Denny’s at 4am?
Peter: Mr Stark I didn’t go here
Peter: I ended up here
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incorrectpeterparker · 16 days ago
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Harley: [panting] Just Dance is actually attempted murder
Peter: [in the background] I played 11 rounds of it the other day
Harley: Alright Maddie Ziegler nobody fucking asked you
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incorrectpeterparker · 18 days ago
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I JUST WATCHED VENOM:KET THERE BE CARNAGE AND NOTICED THREE REALLY AWESOME THINGS!!!!
1) ITS RATING IS AN INFINTE OUT OF TEN
2) MARVEL FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT
3) VEDDIE IS CANNON!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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incorrectpeterparker · 19 days ago
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omg forgot to say but I SAW VENOM EARLIER AND I REALLY LIKED IT AND IT WAS FUN AND YOU ALL NEED TO GO SEE IT!!!
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incorrectpeterparker · 19 days ago
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MJ: Well I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.
Peter: Kicked out?
MJ: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of their neck.
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incorrectpeterparker · 21 days ago
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Tony: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Omg Mr. Stark I’m gaming!!! I’m busy!
Tony: What game are you playing?
Peter:
Peter:
Peter: The “No Internet” Dinosaur game…
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incorrectpeterparker · 23 days ago
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[Peter's first words in the medbay after waking up from a medically induced coma]
Peter: You call it a near-death experience, I call it a vibe check from God
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incorrectpeterparker · a month ago
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incorrectpeterparker · a month ago
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ALWAYS REMEMBER.
You ARE loved. You ARE amazing. You are NEVER alone.
And we are all here for you, whenever you need someone to talk. Nothing is silly or not important. So never feel like you are worth the bother, cause you are.
YOU ARE LOVED SO MUCH. 🥰
❤ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🤎 🖤 🤍 💖
thank you so so much🥺💛
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