#//I just feel bad for making people wait though because I promise I'm not ignoring anyone!!

[kingspuppet]

I still have some Valentine’s ask stuff to send out, so I’m gonna try to make some more progress with that tonight! (I once again apologize for the wait 💔) I also have some IM’s I need to respond to as well (that I’m also behind on so I’m sorry about that too). So I’m gonna try to do what I can tonight in between gaming a bit so I don’t completely burn my brain out!!

Either way, thanks everyone for being so patient with me. 💙

#; OOC || Bri ♟️ #//I will never not be super slow with getting around to things. #//But I'm trying my best and that's all that matters! #//Or that's what I'll tell myself to try and feel better asdfghjklkjhghjkl #//I just feel bad for making people wait though because I promise I'm not ignoring anyone!! #//I'm just terribly slow at getting around to things and then forgetting things and then having to remember them again. 🫠 #//I should really try writing down reminders more it'd probably work wonders

[weird-is-life]

im so excited you've got some time to write!

i'd love to see spencer and reader having to cancel a holiday because of a case he's back late from, and him making up for it by planning a staycation? If that makes sense?

Hii lovely, ty for the request🥰!! Loved writing this. Warnings: fluff, kisses, use of pet names, (0.7k)

You've been so excited about the vacation with Spencer, and so has Spencer. You couldn't wait to get to the beach, and not have to worry about anything important. It would be just you and Spencer spending the much deserved time off alone together.

But as usually the criminals have other plans and the case Spencer works on goes on for longer than expected so you have no other choice, but to cancel the vacation.

Spencer apologises like crazy over the phone, he knows how excited you were about the vacation. But he can't leave the case, the team is already short on people, JJ home with sick boys, and Dave helping his daughter, and you understand .

That's why you aren't mad at Spencer, you know there's nothing he can do, and you knew what you were signing up for when you started dating him.

And even though Spencer knows you understand he still feels pretty bad. He rakes his mind for a solution, for something to make up for the cancellation as the team heads home, and it doesn't take him long to figure it out.

Emily gives the whole team four free days because the team's been working nonstop and everybody deserves some break. It gives Spencer the perfect opportunity to spend the time with you.

When Spencer comes home you greet him right at the door. You basically throw yourself around his neck, and kiss him all over his blushing face.

"I missed you, honey, "he tells you with affection. Spencer closes the door behind him, and at the same time he manages to give you a kiss, too.

"I missed you, Spencer. How was the flight home? Did you manage to get some sleep?" you question, while you play with the hair at the back of Spencer's head lovingly, and as you scan his face for any hint of tiredness.

You conclude he doesn't look tired just very handsome as always.

Spencer basically ignores both of your questions, and says, "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" you smile at him, eyebrows up in question.

"Yes, c'mon." Spencer pulls you after him towards the living room so he can cuddle you on the couch (he really meant it when he said he'd missed you), and at the same time tell you all about the surprise.

"What's the big surprise? Come on Spencer, just tell me," you beg him while you make yourself comfortable with your legs over his thighs, hugging him tightly from the side.

"Okay, okay, sweetheart, " Spencer chuckles at you impatience, "so I know that you were very excited about the vacation, and I'm so sorry that we had to cancel it-"

"It's okay, Spence, I understand-"

"But it's not okay, yeah? I promised you vacation so you should get the vacation, sweetheart," Spencer smiles softly at you, "Emily gave us the Friday and the Weekend free so I was thinking...."

"Yeah?" you suddenly get very interested, giddy smile on your face.

"That maybe we could still get out of here for a few days. David's got this house by the lake just an hour from here, and he's happy to let us stay there if-if you would want to. The lake is cold, but there's a hot tub there, a-and it's very close to this small town. We could visit some coffee shops, too. So what do you say? Would that be okay?" Spencer unsurely asks you, and you find his uncertainty ridiculous.

You suddenly kiss him, happy as one can be. "Spence, of course I want to. That would be more than okay."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely Spencer. How did you think of this? This is maybe even better than the beach," you ask happily. Your excitement about the vacation back.

"Emily suggested it so we have her, and Dave, to thank for it. And really? Better than the beach? You're such a liar, you were too excited about the cocktails on the beach," Spencer teases you, and rightfully so. You really do think the beach is better, even though you love this new idea.

"Yeah, you're right, "you giggle, " but I love your new plan too Spencer. The only thing I care about is that I get to spend some time with you whether it's on the beach or by the lake, I don't mind where."

"Me too, baby," Spencer leans in to kiss you again, happy that you're happy.

He can't wait to spend the next few days with you. Just you and him, and no stress. The only thing he plans to do is to make you cuddle in the bed with him as long as you let him, before you'll want to actually explore the small town or try out the hot tub. Either way he knows he'll be content.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid

[smytherines]

I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.

Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.

One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!

The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.

In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.

But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.

In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.

Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.

I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"

Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."

It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.

And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.

Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.

I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).

I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.

So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #saf #tcb #its about spies

[refiwrites]

Can you do arguements with loak, neteyam, and rotxo please

since im sick rn and feeling terrible and in need of content of our avatar boys, i give you this

Arguments (Neteyam, Lo'ak, and Rotxo)

GIFs used for Neteyam and Lo'ak are not mine, credits to the rightful owners! Whilst the GIF used for Rotxo is mine.

N e t e y a m

Thinking abt it now, I think there would be little to no arguments w this man 💀 I mean he is the perfect child, is he not? Well, you do have arguments but often times it wouldn't be that deep? I have a feeling he's too understanding that everytime you begin something, he's already defused it lmao

You would be the one initiating arguments tbh

For Neteyam, I think most of your arguments would stem from you just trying to watch out/care for him. The pressure of being the future Olo'eyktan often gets to him that he forgets to take care of himself and you'd be there reminding him to breathe.

"No, stop your sweet-talking!" you were really being serious, yet your other half wasn't.

"My love, I have to do this, it is for us. For our future, no?" Neteyam says, walking over to you and placing his hands on your shoulders, that damned playful smile on his face.

The thought made your insides run wild. "The future can wait, you can stay here for now. And tell me, when was the last time you ate?"

Neteyam blinks back, thinking.

"That's what I thought, you aren't getting out of here until I say so."

"Wait— fine."

L o ' a k

Well, we all know Lo'ak is reckless, always doing things without thinking.

You know he means well with his actions, but sometimes you just wished he would think things through!

As much as you didn't like to be another one of the people scolding him, you couldn't help it when he literally walked in one day in your tent, gashes and bruises littering his face and arm.

"What were you thinking?" You said, you knew Lo'ak probably had this phrase said to him for the hundredth time.

He stayed silent.

"You're stupid, did you know that?" You hiss, sitting him down and you began to take his armor and face paint off.

"Too many times." He replied, which you felt bad. So you sighed, carefully cupping his face and making him look at you.

"As much as I'd like to argue with you right now, I still have to patch you up. But please, Lo'ak, the next time you do something... Think it through."

"Yeah.. Sorry.."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

R o t x o

Can we take a few minutes just to appreciate the gif because hello LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS

Hm since we don't know much alot abt Rotxo this will be difficult.

But we know that he knows his limitations for making fun of someone, and that he's very truly a genuine, caring person.

I feel like he loves to joke around and stuff w everybody including you but I also feel like he made a joke one time abt you that you really didn't like or you just weren't in the mood and you kinda took it personally.

You didn't talk to him for like- what- two days max? Cause how can you resist him really when he's trying to catch your attention the whole day while his face looks like this 🥺 reincarnated? HELP

"(Y/N)... (Y/N)."

Wanting to shove his face in the sand already, you resist, plucking the berries from the bush and placing them in your bowl.

You just about remember why the two of you were acting like this in the first place.

It was from a joke that Rotxo made.

Now you didn’t exactly remember what the very joke was but you knew you were pissed off that day, and the way his joke pertained to you made something in you snap as he was laughing.

Now that led to here, with you ignoring him. Honestly you didn't know how you lasted a almost a day and a half without talking to him since the two of you were inseperable from the moment he met you and your siblings.

You didn't realize you were frozen in place as his voice spoke up again.

"(Y/N)..?"

"What?!" You finally answered, snapping your head back to look at him.

He visibly swallowed, eyes squinting at your sudden reply. He moves forward though, moving beside you and kneeling next to you.

"I'm sorry."

"Took you long enough."

"Eh? But you were ignoring m—"

"Okay, okay I forgive you." You said. As soon as your words registered in Rotxo's head, you saw the way his whole face lit up, his nose scrunching in the process, almost melting your heart.

"Really?" He asked again, smiling.

"Yes, would you like me to change my mind?"

"No! No definitely not!" He quickly said, gesturing as if that was going to prevent you from doing so.

But you didn't change your mind.

You couldn't, not when he pulls out an armband he made for you, as a sign of peace.

#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan x reader #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan x reader #lo'ak x reader #neteyam x reader #rotxo #lo'ak sully #neteyam sully #neteyam imagines #neteyam #lo'ak #lo'ak imagines #rotxo x reader #avatar rotxo #rotxo imagines #avatar the way of water x reader #avatar the way of water one shots #avatar the way of water imagines #avatar way of water #avatar way of water x reader #pandora avatar #pandora #avatar the way of water #atwow rotxo #atwow x reader #x reader #refiwrites #imagines #fanfiction

[sevenboarproductions]

[IDOLiSH7] [Part 6] Chapter 6: Promise

6.6.1. - Self-hatred

Ousaka Sougo: …..

Yotsuba Tamaki: You’ve been stuck for a while now. Is it hard to do this when there’s people around after all?

Ousaka Sougo: Ah… No!  It's nothing like that.

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’s okay, don't force yourself. …Well, I'll go home now.

Ousaka Sougo: Wait… wait!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sou-chan?

Ousaka Sougo: Earlier, you said you were just lonely and sulking…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah….

Ousaka Sougo: …Well, how should I say it… If there is a place you want to go to, I’ll wave and send you off, but…

Ousaka Sougo:  Just disappearing because you feel lonely… If that's the reason, wouldn't that be weird? 

Yotsuba Tamaki: …..

Ousaka Sougo: …..Sorry…. My wording was bad. Wait… Wait, please. What I'm trying to say is…

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….Yeah…..

Ousaka Sougo: No…. I’m sorry… It's nothing.

Ousaka Sougo: Do your best, Tamaki-kun. I'll be cheering you on.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….What's with this half-assed attitude…

Ousaka Sougo: It’s not half-assed though!?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Then what were you trying to tell me? Say it.

Ousaka Sougo: I can’t say it… I don’t know whether we have a bond or if it’s a shackle, like with my father.

Ousaka Sougo: I don't want to be like my father who didn’t give me any freedom and tried to force me to succeed him as head of the family.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Me, too… I’m like that, too. I never wanna tell you anything my old man would say.

Yotsuba Tamaki: But I feel like I am about to do it… That’s why it can’t stay like this.

Ousaka Sougo: …What kind of thing are you about to say to me?

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Ousaka Sougo: Tamaki-kun…

Yotsuba Tamaki:  What about you, Sou-chan? What did you mean by not wanting to be like your dad?

Ousaka Sougo: …….

Yotsuba Tamaki: Tell me. I won't get angry, so…

Ousaka Sougo: …You’ll be disgusted by me. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: I mean, it’s the same for me… I feel sick because of myself.

Ousaka Sougo: …….

Ousaka Sougo: But I still want to hear it.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Well, then you have to tell me afterwards, too, Sou-chan.

Ousaka Sougo: I will….

Yotsuba Tamaki: When you get so absorbed in composing, I feel like I’m being left behind… It’s not like I want you to stop making songs…right?

Yotsuba Tamaki: But at those times… I end up wanting to scream like my old man. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: “Don’t ignore me.” “How much do you think I’ve done for you?”...Is what I thought.

Ousaka Sougo: ……

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m the worst, seriously… I’m sure it’s because I don't have my own dream, so I just got lonely and frustrated.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …That’s why, so I can be a proper person, I wanna find my dream….

Ousaka Sougo: ….That’s…. There’s no reason for you to get angry… After all, it’s because of you that I’m writing songs.

Ousaka Sougo: I didn't mean to ignore you, but I didn’t notice it made you feel lonely. I’m sorry for….

Yotsuba Tamaki: That’s not something you have to say sorry for! I didn't say that because I wanna make you apologize.

Ousaka Sougo: …..

Yotsuba Tamaki: And you? What did you not wanna tell me?

Ousaka Sougo: …I’m sure you’ll be sick of me.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I won’t be. …I think. But you promised, so tell me.

Ousaka Sougo: …..

Ousaka Sougo: If there is something you want to do, Tamaki-kun, whether it’s a hiatus or free time, then I want to let you do what you want, but…

Ousaka Sougo: If it’s for such a vague reason, I don’t want you to go so far away. I need you.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Ousaka Sougo: I told you I would support you but... Don't go far away and leave me behind like that…

Yotsuba Tamaki: You’re the one leaving me behind though, Sou-chan. But it’s fine… I seriously want to support you.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I saw your family’s car parked in front of the dorm. You looked happy when you were talking to them.

Ousaka Sougo: Ah…

Yotsuba Tamaki: It happens with that sort of thing, too. I wanted to be happy for you. Normally, I should be. Without getting angry.

Ousaka Sougo: …….If you were angry, you should’ve told me…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I could never. Because I like you, Sou-chan. I don’t want to make you sad.

Ousaka Sougo: I don’t want to make you sad, either. If you’re lonely, tell me you’re lonely. ….Studying overseas…

Ousaka Sougo: ……No…. I won’t stop you if it’s something you want to do.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….Right….

(door opens)

Oogami Banri: Are you okay?

Ousaka Sougo: Banri-san….

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ban-chan….

Oogami Banri: I didn't mean to interrupt you, but both of you looked kind of troubled, so...

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ban-chan, I told Sou-chan about it.

Oogami Banri: Ah… I see.

Ousaka Sougo: Banri-san, you knew about this?

Oogami Banri: We talked a bit about it a while ago.

Ousaka Sougo: …….So you talked to Banri-san before telling me about it.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Well, I just…!

Oogami Banri: He didn't want to burden you, Sougo-kun. Tamaki--kun was unsure, too. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah. That’s what it was.

Ousaka Sougo: ….Okay….

Oogami Banri: …….The rain is still pretty strong, how about we stay inside a little longer?

Oogami Banri: Would you tell me what kind of talk you had? If it's alright with you, of course.

--

Utsugi Shirou: Haa….

Isumi Haruka: ……. You feeling down?

Utsugi Shirou: I’m not feeling down….

Isumi Haruka: You totally are. Don’t be sad. You did well, Utsugi Shirou.

Utsugi Shirou: Okay…

Utsugi Shirou: Well, no. Getting comforted by an idol I’m responsible for after I’ve made another one of them mad is the worst.

Utsugi Shirou: I will do better.

Isumi Haruka: Haha… Don’t worry about that. I mean, if it makes you sad, doesn’t that just mean you’re being serious?

Isumi Haruka: If it’s that… How do I say it? It makes us happy.

Utsugi Shirou: Ah… You’re a good kid, Isumi-san…

Isumi Haruka: I’m not, though! But what happened with Torao? It’s the first time I’ve seen him like that.

Utsugi Shirou: ….Right. He always seemed kind of indifferent about himself and his work…

Utsugi Shirou: I thought he was the most stable and confident out of all the ŹOOḼ members. 

Isumi Haruka: He always just goes “Well, yeah…” with that attitude, like he still has a lot of pride.

Isumi Haruka: But really, he was just being full of himself.

Natsume Minami: That’s incorrect.

Isumi Haruka: Minami…

Utsugi Shirou: Natsume-san. Is Midou-san….

Natsume Minami: Inumaru-san is with him. It seems he slowly managed to calm down.

Utsugi Shirou: I see, so Inumaru-san is doing it…. Even though this is supposed to be my job…I am very sorry. 

Isumi Haruka: It’s fine. Minami, what did you mean by “that’s incorrect”?

Natsume Minami: About Midou-san being full of himself to the point of overflowing with confidence.

Natsume Minami: Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself. A person who can believe in themself does not need another person to make them feel valued.

Natsume Minami: If you don’t have the strength to believe in yourself, you need to rely on other people’s praise to give you self-esteem.

Natsume Minami: But in the end, you won’t get rid of your true insecurity. That’s why, even though Midou-san might outwardly seem like he is overflowing with confidence, he is weak on the inside.

Isumi Haruka: …That sounds super awful… but it really hits home.

Natsume Minami: I used to be like that, too. Even now, I still act a little like that…

Natsume Minami: But that started to get ridiculous, so I decided to live the way I want to.

Natsume Minami: Midou-san told me that, too, but… in the past there were moments where he seemed a lot like Sakura-san to me.

Isumi Haruka: …Like how they’re both showy? 

Natsume Minami: Fufu…. Basically, yes. People with a lot of confidence tend to be passionate, after all.

Natsume Minami: But both Sakura-san and Midou-san, even though they were confident, were hard to grasp, kind of like the wind.

Natsume Minami: That’s why I thought they were similar. But in reality, it was the opposite.

Natsume Minami: Sakura-san’s gentleness… It was like the softness of reeds. Completely, stubbornly rooted in the ground. Midou-san in comparison…

Natsume Minami: He is like a paper balloon. Pretty, polished, empty. Even if you were to strike at him, he wouldn’t rip.

Natsume Minami: He won’t break and disappoint anyone. But he won’t be able to fly, either.

Natsume Minami: If it’s for ŹOOḼ… if it’s for us, he’ll do his best, but since this time it’s about himself…

Utsugi Shirou: …He’s holding himself back?

Natsume Minami: I think he was afraid.

Utsugi Shirou: Of stunts? 

Natsume Minami: No. He was scared of doing what other people don’t want him to do. Of following through with his own wish.

~ to be continued ~

6.6.2. - Gentle binding spell

Utsugi Shirou: …It’s a complicated matter, isn’t it… Of course, I do want to try to understand it, though.

Utsugi Shirou: I just think that, if I was in Midou-san’s place, born into the world like that, I would be filled with unshakeable confidence…

Natsume Minami: Even though you seem to be overflowing with confidence already, Utsugi-san.

Utsugi Shirou: That’s not true at all. I’m unsure about things all the time, and I get scared as well. Like whether I’m hurting you…

Natsume Minami: Is this lip service?

Utsugi Shirou: I’m serious, though.

Natsume Minami: It’s because it seems like you have never experienced failure before, Utsugi-san.

Utsugi Shirou: But aren’t you and Midou-san like that, too?

Isumi Haruka: Why aren’t you including me and Touma?

Utsugi Shirou: It’s not that I didn’t include you… naming everyone individually just would have taken more time.

Isumi Haruka: Be honest. Me and Touma look like we’ve failed before.

Utsugi Shirou: No need to be sulking. I just think you two are the type of person who does what needs to be done when it comes down to it.

Isumi Haruka: I’m not sulking! …Aah, wait, we’re talking about Torao right now.

Utsugi Shirou: That’s right.

Isumi Haruka: What could we do to encourage him? Though Torao said it himself… That optimism is something you’re born with.

Utsugi Shirou: Being too perfect… is what makes him afraid of failing, right?

Isumi Haruka: I don’t think someone who’s scared of failure could’ve performed at RedFes, though. Did he tell you something like that…?

Utsugi Shirou: Well, more than seeming afraid, it looked like he was sorry.

Utsugi Shirou: He said he isn’t going to cause people trouble by doing what he wants, when it’s something nobody even asked him to do.

Isumi Haruka: ….He said something that sad? Did maybe we make him hold back?

Natsume Minami: ……I think the cause is something that happened before he met us.

Isumi Haruka: Like having to restrain himself at home? Because he’s from a rich family and it’s strict?

Natsume Minami: …..

Natsume Minami: Midou-san was indeed born into a prestigious family, but he does get along with them well.

Natsume Minami: It’s obvious from the way he acts that he respects his parents and his siblings.

Natsume Minami: Unlike his brothers who received a strict upbringing, he was the carefree third born son who was allowed to live an easy life.

Natsume Minami: In other words, unlike the oldest, there were probably no expectations directed at him.

Isumi Haruka: ….

Natsume Minami: But Midou-san loves his family. His beloved family that gently told him it’s fine to just be comfortable and have fun…

Natsume Minami: “You don’t have to try so hard. It’s impossible for you anyway.” These are the things they continued to tell him.

Natsume Minami: When he was made fun of by someone he hates, he’d tell them, “shut up, watch and learn”, and he could rise to the occasion but…

Natsume Minami: Since his trusted family kept lovingly telling him, “There’s no way you can do it, so just don’t, alright?”…

Natsume Minami: He eventually started to feel like a foolish criminal for telling someone what he wanted to do.

Utsugi Shirou: ……..

Utsugi Shirou: …..I will try to talk to him again.

Natsume Minami: ….We should probably leave it at this for today… There’s also shooting to be done, so it’s better to try again on another day…

Utsugi Shirou: But…

Isumi Haruka: Minami. What was it? The thing Torao wanted to do.

Natsume Minami: …..

Natsume Minami: He wanted to try doing the action scenes himself, like a hero.

Isumi Haruka: ….That’s it?

Natsume Minami: Yes.

Isumi Haruka: Haha… That’s cute, though. He should try it. Since it’s Torao, I think he can do it.

Natsume Minami: I think so, too. Since Midou-san is athletic, and his movements are quite striking, too.

Natsume Minami: However, we have a proper stuntman on set right now.

Natsume Minami: Aside from the possibility of injury, there is also a huge risk to it because Midou-san is an idol. Isn’t that right, Utsugi-san?

Utsugi Shirou: …That’s right.

Natsume Minami: Lives, movie shoots, TV appearances, magazine shoots, MV shoots…

Natsume Minami: Midou-san is a performer who is required to be active.

Natsume Minami: If you consider our future schedule, you don’t want him to do this, do you?

Utsugi Shirou: ……

Utsugi Shirou: Well… To be honest, you’re right.

Isumi Haruka: …….Lame…..

Utsugi Shirou: However, I understand that right now is a critical moment.

Isumi Haruka: A critical moment? For what?

Utsugi Shirou: For the trust between everyone in ŹOOḼ and me.

Isumi Haruka: Oh— Are you gonna show us your cool side now?

Natsume Minami: Should we get our expectations up?

Utsugi Shirou: You’re really laying on the pressure…

Natsume Minami: Fufu… Sorry about that.

Isumi Haruka: I wanna believe in you, too. In our manager.

Isumi Haruka: I want to believe that you won’t abandon us, that you’ll come to save us.

Utsugi Shirou: …….

Utsugi Shirou: Let me be clear, I’m not scared of being fired.

Utsugi Shirou: But if I make a wrong decision here, there is a chance your precious work as ŹOOḼ will be lost.

Utsugi Shirou: That’s why I’m hesitating.

Isumi Haruka: It’s fine if we lose that. Ryou-san said it too, after all. We’re a group that only lasts for three years.

Utsugi Shirou: …….

Isumi Haruka: If I know you’re serious, then even if we lose everything, I’ll do everything I can to take you along.

Utsugi Shirou: Where to?

Isumi Haruka: To a live better than RedFes. You said you wanted to see it.

Utsugi Shirou: Haha… Are you going to show me your cool side, too?

Isumi Haruka: Of course.

Natsume Minami: That depends on you, though.

Utsugi Shirou: You’re really laying on the pressure…

--

Midou Torao: …Haa…

Inumaru Touma: Are you alright, Tora…

Midou Torao: ….I want to erase you guys’ memory of this…

Inumaru Touma: Got it. It’s gone already. I remember nothing.

Midou Torao: …Damn…

Inumaru Touma: But I do remember what you want to do, Tora. Let’s ask Utsugi-san about it.

Midou Torao: …..It’s fine….

Inumaru Touma: Why.

Midou Torao: It’s fine. I was wrong. Right now, it’s… It doesn’t matter. It’s annoying.

Inumaru Touma: Don’t lie.

Midou Torao: It’s the truth. Just talking about it makes me tired already… if I actually do it, I’ll be even more tired.

Inumaru Touma: Tora…

Midou Torao: It’s fine, really. Sorry for worrying you.

Midou Torao: Thank you.

Inumaru Touma: …….

Midou Torao: Ah… it’s Bella.

Inumaru Touma: Bella? That big dog? She’s got good manners. Doesn’t even bark.

Midou Torao: Staying silent an entire lifetime.

Inumaru Touma: Eh?

Midou Torao: Amazing! Look at it, she jumped over a fence that high!

Inumaru Touma: Wow! Bella-chan is working real hard!

Midou Torao: Stop calling her Bella-chan.

Inumaru Touma: If she can jump over that fence, that means she could always run away, you know?

Midou Torao: Well, yeah.

Inumaru Touma: Even though she’s so smart and agile, she behaves so well…

Midou Torao: Stupid and cowardly…

Inumaru Touma: I’m sure she loves people.

Midou Torao: ………

Inumaru Touma: She’s super kind and patient. She wants to be useful to her trainer, so she does her best.

Inumaru Touma: She’s great. Right, Tora?

Inumaru Touma: Tora…?

Midou Torao: ….Nothing. Something… got caught in my eye.

Midou Torao: That’s all…

~ to be continued ~

6.6.3. - Bonds and freedom

Oogami Banri: …So that’s how it was…

Oogami Banri: Since you started attacking each other and kept denying what the other said, you weren’t able to have a proper discussion anymore…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ban-chan… I think we two really don’t fit together after all.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I don’t hate Sou-chan, and I wanna be nice to him, but nothing’s working out right…

Ousaka Sougo: …I think so, too… No matter how much I like Tamaki-kun, on a fundamental level, things are not going well… 

Ousaka Sougo: We’re polar opposites. Even if we try to be nice, even if we try to show consideration, we end up misunderstanding each other…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Right. Even when I and Sou-chan try to handle it together, I end up showing my worst side…

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Maybe it’s impossible….

Oogami Banri: I don’t think so.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Why?

Oogami Banri: Because I’ve been watching you two.

MEZZO’’: …..

Oogami Banri: I really understand that you two want to avoid acting like your bad fathers.

Oogami Banri: The things that once hurt you seem like deadly weapons to you.

Oogami Banri: But like that, Tamaki-kun couldn’t spend as much time together with Sougo-kun as before.

Oogami Banri: “Now that he started composing, I wonder if I don’t matter to him anymore”. I think it’s normal to get lonely and frustrated like that.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Maybe, yeah….

Ousaka Sougo: …I was thinking that, too… that it’s true that Tamaki-kun did a lot for me, too…

Ousaka Sougo: And that I am sorry for having been so obsessed with composing that song that I didn’t have time, that I didn’t notice.

Ousaka Sougo: “If changing my behavior could make him rethink going on hiatus…… That would make me much happier…”

Yotsuba Tamaki: Eh….?

Ousaka Sougo: ….Something like that… I can’t say something that is just convenient for me like that.

Oogami Banri: Sougo-kun, it’s fine for you to say that, too. Saying you want Tamaki-kun to stay, doesn’t mean you are denying him his future.

Oogami Banri: It would be a huge problem if you locked him in a cage and stole his freedom. But if you are just expressing and trying to get your feelings across to him, then please do.

Ousaka Sougo: …Is that so…? But…. 

Ousaka Sougo: Denying Tamaki-kun the future he has been thinking about and telling him to stay here, forcing him like that…

Ousaka Sougo: That is exactly like what my father did to me.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …It’s not. When you told me that earlier, you looked super pale, too, like you were saying something bad.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I was happy you said you needed me.

Ousaka Sougo: …..

Ousaka Sougo: If that’s the case… And it doesn’t burden you… 

Ousaka Sougo: Please… I don’t want you to go anywhere… I want to continue working with you, Tamaki-kun.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …..

Ousaka Sougo: …I… I’m sorry… I went ahead and asked for that much, I shouldn’t…

Oogami Banri: It’s fine, Sougo-kun. You, too, Tamaki-kun.

Oogami Banri: “Don’t ignore me” and “I want you to stay here” are both feelings that you cannot one-sidedly force on someone, but they are natural.

Oogami Banri: So please don’t just assume that what you’re feeling is something bad.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Really…?

Oogami Banri: Yes. It makes sense that you two ended up thinking like that, though.

Oogami Banri: You were trying to protect each other from the things that hurt you in the past.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….That’s right… maybe….

Ousaka Sougo: ….. …..Is it fine to think of it as a bond? Not as a restriction or a kind of control…

Oogami Banri: I think so. It’s exactly because you are connected by that bond that you end up caught up in things like that.

Oogami Banri: But didn’t you get this far by not giving up and not letting go of each other’s hand despite that?

Oogami Banri: I think that’s amazing. Both of you have always worked this hard.

Ousaka Sougo: Banri-san…

Oogami Banri: Speaking of which, regarding Tamaki-kun’s future, I have something to talk to you about.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Something to talk to us about?

Oogami Banri: Yes. After getting advice I did some assessment of Tamaki’s personality as well, or rather, I reconsidered and analyzed your work up until now.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Analyzed? You thought about it that much?

Oogami Banri: I did. Of course I did. You’re an important idol and I have responsibility for taking care of you, too.

Oogami Banri: I decided that I would definitely make you happy this time around.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ban-chan…

Oogami Banri: Tamaki-kun, even though you’re good at dancing and you like it, you aren’t that ambitious about it, right?

Oogami Banri: In the sense that you don’t really want to stand at the top, or try to learn high difficulty skills.

Oogami Banri: I don’t think that you don’t have ambition at all, but you’re not the type of person to bother with self-improvement on your own…. Does that sound right?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah, I’m not that type. Getting trophies would be nice and all, but I’m not hungry enough for that to work hard for getting it.

Yotsuba Tamaki: When I have to, I work hard, but if possible… I want to be praised without working hard.

Ousaka Sougo: That’s true… Tamaki-kun may be a prodigy, but he is easily bored and doesn’t seem to have that much patience…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I prefer to be spoiled. If I think about it, instead of working hard for myself, I think I prefer to work hard for others…?

Oogami Banri: Instead of being told “You’re amazing!”, you’d rather be told “Thank you”, then?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah! Being told I’m amazing makes me happy, too, but I’d rather be praised by my managers and group members than by a total stranger.

Oogami Banri: In that case, studying overseas apart from your friends, getting lessons from a famous teacher and becoming a top dancer…

Oogami Banri: …It might be different from what you actually want to do, Tamaki-kun.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Well, maybe….

Yotsuba Tamaki: I thought that if I wanted to have something to get absorbed in like Sou-chan, maybe that could be dancing for me, but…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I think if I were to feel down, I don’t think I could think something like “I’m not gonna fail!” like Mikki…

Ousaka Sougo: What do you think then…?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I end up thinking “It’s fine, whatever…”

Yotsuba Tamaki: If it’s for you guys or for Aya, I’ll do my best, but if it’s for myself, I think it would end up like that instead. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sou-chan, how do you keep going while you’re making songs?

Ousaka Sougo: In my case, while my thoughts are filled with all these famous songs, this sort of thing doesn’t get through to me at all…

Ousaka Sougo: Somehow, finding something that fits... Whether I want this, or don’t want that, or that, it’s like putting a thread through the eye of a needle…

Yotsuba Tamaki: For who?

Ousaka Sougo: For myself, I guess. For myself and for the sake of the music I love. I guess it’s wrong to say “for the sake of” though…

Oogami Banri: Haha… Interesting. So you’re both on opposite sides in that regard, too.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I guess…

Ousaka Sougo: I suppose…

Oogami Banri: Tamaki-kun, if you really want to, I won’t stop you from studying abroad and I’ll support you wholeheartedly. After all, going out of your comfort zone is important, too.

Oogami Banri: But dealing with strict lessons in an unfamiliar environment isn’t a run-of-the-mill task, so…

Oogami Banri: I thought it might be even more painful for you if you end up feeling even lonelier, trying to overcome those lonely feelings on your own.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….But… I wanna change.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I don’t wanna stay like this. I don’t wanna get anxious and scared when I compare myself to Sou-chan and the others.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I wanna have something I want to do, too.

Oogami Banri: Yeah. I understand that. You’ve kept agonizing over finding what you want to do all this time, huh.

Oogami Banri: I think finding the thing you truly want to do is very hard.

Oogami Banri: There might be people who find it fast, but there’s also people who only finally find it after lots of experiences.

Oogami Banri: I was like that, too. So, thinking about Tamaki-kun’s skills and personality that way, I have a proposal…

Oogami Banri: Why don’t you try creating choreographies?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Choreographies…? For our dances…?

Oogami Banri: Yes. You haven’t done it lately, but haven’t you done dance arrangements a lot before? 

Oogami Banri: You seem like the type who gets choreography ideas while dancing to a song.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….

Oogami Banri: Tamaki-kun, you have a flexible way of thinking. You’re bold enough to execute spontaneous ideas right away and have the toughness to not get discouraged by criticism.

Oogami Banri: You also know the others’ traits well, and I think you’d want to make them look good, without making them overdo it.

Oogami Banri: The others know you’re good at dancing, too, Tamaki-kun, so I think it will be easy for them to accept the choreography proposal from you.

Oogami Banri: First, you could try doing MEZZO’’’s choreography… and then one day, IDOLiSH7’s choreography. How do you feel about trying that, Tamaki-kun?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Amazing… I want to…! I want to do that…!

Ousaka Sougo: I also… I also think it fits Tamaki-kun perfectly!

Ousaka Sougo: You have a good grasp of Mitsuki-san’s and Nagi-kun’s dance styles, too and you’re good at imitating them. You know everyone’s dancing the best!

Yotsuba Tamaki: You think so!?

Ousaka Sougo: Yes! I think so!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ah… But I might be bad at stuff like formations…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I can look at them individually, but I sometimes forget to pay attention to the whole picture…

Oogami Banri: I’ll help you with that.

Yotsuba Tamaki: You will, Ban-chan!?

Oogami Banri: Yeah. I’ve dabbled in it a bit before. And I’m the opposite of you, so I’m better at looking at things from a wider angle. 

Oogami Banri: After hearing your ideas, Tamaki-kun, I will arrange the formation. Once you get used to that way of doing it… 

Oogami Banri: Eventually, we can shift things so you can get advice from a pro choreographer. 

Oogami Banri: If you were to work with a pro from the beginning, you might end up feeling intimidated, so instead we will start with an easier environment to work in; with me.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Are you sure? Even though you’re so busy…

Oogami Banri: What are you saying? I’m doing it for you cute kids, after all. I’m literally here to give you a hand.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m so happy! I’m super looking forward to it!!

Oogami Banri: I’m glad.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Thank you…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Until you said it, I didn’t notice this was an option. I didn’t think it was fine for me to do that…

Oogami Banri: I should’ve suggested it earlier. I figured you were busy with school and work.

Oogami Banri: But you know, Tamaki-kun. There’s nothing you can’t do.

Oogami Banri: If you really want to go on hiatus, I won’t stop you, Tamaki-kun.

Oogami Banri: It’s not because I don’t need you. But because I want to protect your heart, your talent and your future.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Ye…Yeah…

Oogami Banri: You guys’ place is right here. We will protect you for sure.

Oogami Banri: It’s fine to come back empty-handed even after aimlessly going somewhere. We will always welcome you back with a smile.

Ousaka Sougo: …Yes…

Oogami Banri: Even regarding choreography, you can just try it. If it doesn’t work for you, it’s fine to choose something else.

Oogami Banri: If one ability doesn’t flourish for you, it’s fine to take up things you’re interested in here and there. Don’t judge yourself.

Oogami Banri: You guys are free. And you have a safe space to return to. I will be that place. 

Oogami Banri: I will give you both freedom and bonds. I won’t take away your freedom, but I won’t let you feel helpless, either.

Oogami Banri: I promise that. …I’m sorry for saying this so late.

Yotsuba Tamaki: (crying) …Thank you… Ban-chan, Sou-chan, thank you…

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Thank you… for understanding me better than I did…. for taking care of me…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thank you for telling me not to go….

Ousaka Sougo: …I was able to say it because it’s you. Back then, I couldn’t tell my uncle to not go when he left…

Ousaka Sougo: I thought that I shouldn’t object to something that someone has already decided…

Ousaka Sougo: But you always told me to put things into words, so I worked up the courage…

Ousaka Sougo: …I’m glad I told you… Sorry for not having noticed… Sorry for having been unable to say it confidently before…

Ousaka Sougo: We have a bond. Let’s sing about that loudly. Since I’ll dance to your choreography too, Tamaki-kun.

Ousaka Sougo: Even if we’re bad at it, let's help each other.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Yes… I’ll do my best, too…. I’ll study lots about choreography.

Yotsuba Tamaki: This is the first time I thought I’m looking forward to studying this much!

Ousaka Sougo: Haha… I’m looking forward to it, too.

Oogami Banri: I’m glad for you two… 

Oogami Banri: I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful song about MEZZO’’’s bonds.

~ to be continued ~

6.6.4. - Thank you

Yotsuba Tamaki: Uhm….

Yotsuba Tamaki: New song announcement!!

(clapping)

Nikaidou Yamato: Oh! Congratulations on finishing it, Sou!

Rokuya Nagi: Let’s listen to it already!

Ousaka Sougo: Thank you very much. Well then, I’d like everyone to listen to it while watching the choreography.

Nanase Riku: The choreography’s done already, too? Nice!

Izumi Mitsuki: That’s MEZZO’’ for you! They're working fast!

Izumi Iori: What’s wrong, Yotsuba-san? Smiling with such an expression…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Hehe… Nothing, nothing!

Ousaka Sougo: Well then, please listen. Aah, I’m nervous…

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’ll be fine! Probably!

Ousaka Sougo: Right…

Oogami Banri: Well then, I’ll turn on the music.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sure! Let’s go, Sou-chan. One, two…

MEZZO’’: This is MEZZO’’’s “Kizuna”!

Izumi Mitsuki: Aah… That’s nice, really nice!

Rokuya Nagi: It’s a wonderful song! It makes my heart flutter!

Nanase Riku: The dancing is cool, too! Sougo-san, give me some fanservice!

Nikaidou Yamato: Tama, Tama! Give onii-san some, too!

Izumi Iori: Disregarding that for a moment, why is Yotsuba-san grinning like that?

Rokuya Nagi: He’s totally acting like a shy boy! Hi~, you’re doing great!

Izumi Mitsuki: Nice harmony! Nice!

Nikaidou Yamato: Yeah, yeah! 

Nanase Riku: Wow wow wow~!

Ousaka Sougo: Haa… Haa… Thank you very much!

(clapping)

Izumi Mitsuki: “Kizuna”’s so good! I never thought I’d hear a song like this from MEZZO’’!

Nanase Riku: It was really good! So good I’d wanna sing it with IDOLiSH7, too!

Izumi Iori: From a lyric perspective, wouldn't there barely be any space for us to enter?

Rokuya Nagi: Fantastic! We had a great time! OH… Tamaki…?

Nikaidou Yamato: Tama, what happened? You’ve been grinning for a while now.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I said I’m not! Well then, here’s a question!

Nanase Riku: A question? So suddenly?

Yotsuba Tamaki: There’s a difference between the MEZZO’’ you just saw and the usual!

Yotsuba Tamaki: What could it be!?

Ousaka Sougo: Haha…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sou-chan, if you laugh, they’ll know what it is!

Ousaka Sougo: Sorry, sorry.

Izumi Mitsuki: A difference? That’s why Tamaki was acting embarrassed?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m not embarrassed! Hey, hurry. Figure it out already!

Nanase Riku: What could the difference be… The reason why MEZZO’’ is embarrassed…

Ousaka Sougo: No, uhm, it’s not that MEZZO’’ is embarrassed…

Izumi Iori: Can you notice it just by looking?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Those who get it will get it!

Izumi Iori: Then I’ve got it.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Really!?

Nikaidou Yamato: Ah… Onii-san gets it, too.

Izumi Mitsuki: I think I get it, too…

Rokuya Nagi: I get it, too. Particularly in the chorus…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Shhh! Nagicchi, shhhh!

Nanase Riku: Everyone got it!?! Aren’t you guys amazing!?

Nikaidou Yamato: I guess.

Izumi Mitsuki: Because of Tamaki’s reaction.

Nanase Riku: What is it with Tamaki’s reaction!? I just know Tamaki is super embarrassed…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Hehe…

Nanase Riku: I’m lost on this one.

Yotsuba Tamaki: As if! Well, there’s no helping it, wanna hear the right answer?

Nanase Riku: I do!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yama-san, did you really get it?

Nikaidou Yamato: I think I did. Especially in the chorus…

Yotsuba Tamaki: No, no, no! Don’t say it!  Aaah, it’s super embarrassing…! Uwooooh!

Izumi Iori: Please do not roll on the floor when you’re squirming like that.

Izumi Mitsuki: Then tell us the right answer, Sougo! Please! 

Ousaka Sougo: Can I say it?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah…

Nanase Riku: He said “Yeah” in a super quiet voice! Tamaki’s being shy! 

Yotsuba Tamaki: Uwoooh, it’s embarrassing! 

Ousaka Sougo: Tamaki-kun is the one who did the choreography of “Kizuna”.

Nanase Riku: Eeeh! Amazing…!

Nikaidou Yamato: I was right! I did think it was that!

Izumi Mitsuki: Especially the chorus! It’s a lot like him!

Rokuya Nagi: Yes! It’s cute! 1, 2, 3, hey!!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Uwoooh! My face feels warm…!

Nanase Riku: It’s not something to be embarrassed about! It’s amazing, Tamaki! Do an IDOLiSH7 song next time!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Really?

Nanase Riku: Really! Right, everyone?!

Nikaidou Yamato: I wanna see it, I wanna see it! Isn’t that fine? Just try it, Tama!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sou-chan, did you hear that? He said I should just try it!

Ousaka Sougo: Yeah, I’m glad. I figured everyone would like it. 

Izumi Mitsuki: The song is really good, too! Sougo did his best, as well. It’s like “Kizuna” is the culmination of MEZZO’’’s hard work!

Ousaka Sougo: Thank you very much… I’m happy to hear that…

Izumi Iori: Yotsuba-san did good work, too. This is going to be a newsworthy topic. Assuming you’ll announce it publicly, right?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Eeeh? That’s embarrassing! But everyone might praise me… But it’s embarrassing…

Izumi Iori: I figured someone who walks around naked in the dorm doesn’t know shame, but Yotsuba-san is acting surprisingly cute, isn’t he?

Ousaka Sougo: He was shy the entire way here, too.

Oogami Banri: Good work, Tamaki-kun! Everyone praised your choreography!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yes! Ah, Ban-chan also helped me!

Oogami Banri: Just for the finishing touches. Most of it was Tamaki-kun’s idea. Especially stuff like this…

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’s fine, it’s fine!

Izumi Mitsuki: Let us hear it! You did something great, so boast about it to us!

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Damn, I might cry…

Nikaidou Yamato: Don’t cry, don’t cry! You did well, Tama! Onii-san will praise you lots!

Yotsuba Tamaki: …You’re making me cry…!

Nanase Riku: You worked so hard that you end up crying. I didn’t know you’re good at choreography too, Tamaki!

Nanase Riku: Please show us more from now on!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yes…. I…considered studying abroad…

Nikaidou Yamato & Izumi Mitsuki: Eeh…!?

Rokuya Nagi: Really…?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …But I won’t…

Izumi Mitsuki: …Don’t scare us like that!

Izumi Iori: …My heart just jumped…

Yotsuba Tamaki: …But, well… thanks everyone…. I’m glad to be a part of MEZZO’’ and IDOLiSH7….

Yotsuba Tamaki: Aaah…. I’m happy~!

Ousaka Sougo: I’m glad for you, Tamaki-kun…

Yotsuba Tamaki: We’ll dance again so watch…!

Ousaka Sougo: …Let’s dance once more!

Izumi Mitsuki: Alright! Let’s get pumped up!

Nanase Riku & Nikaidou Yamato & Rokuya Nagi: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Izumi Mitsuki: Coming up, the long-awaited new song! Composed by Ousaka Sougo!

Izumi Mitsuki: With a choreography done by Yotsuba Tamaki!

Izumi Mitsuki: MEZZO’’’s “Kizuna”!

Nanase Riku & Nikaidou Yamato & Rokuya Nagi: Y~ay!!

Ousaka Sougo: Thanks for having us!

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thanks for having us! We are… One, two…

MEZZO’’: MEZZO’’!

--

MC:  Presenting “Kizuna”, the special feature drama based on the youth novel!

MC: Starring in the drama are MEZZO’’ who will sing the theme song “Kizuna” today!

Audience: Kyaaaaah…!

Ousaka Sougo: Thanks for having us.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thanks for having us!

MC: Ousaka-san, did you have any problems composing the theme song?

Ousaka Sougo: I suppose…. I worried a lot about how to express the theme of “bonds”.

Ousaka Sougo: Through the bond of the brothers in the drama, I felt like I could gain a new look at MEZZO’’’s bond again, too.

MC: Thank you. Yotsuba-kun, you’ve begun to take on choreography with this song…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yes.

MC: What made you try that?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Because Sou-chan has talent. I wanted to become a man worthy of my partner.

Audience: Kyaaaaah…!

Ousaka Sougo: I’m honored. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m glad I found something I can do.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I think stuff like worrying about the future came to me naturally because it was linked to the role I play. 

MC: Thank you very much. Ah, MEZZO’’’s bonds are a wonderful thing.

Ousaka Sougo: Yes.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thank you.

MC: Let’s hear it then! Here’s MEZZO’’ with “Kizuna”!

Audience: Kyaaaaah…!

~ to be continued ~

--

TL note:

Hello, Mod Riku here! This. Took a while. Don't mind it!!

Anyway. Kizuna, the show's name, is written in kanji. The song's name is written in katakana. Mod Haruka and I had a lot of fun with the ŹOOĻ scenes!

#idolish7 spoilers #idolish7 translation #idolish7 translations #idolish7 #idolish7 part 6 #[main]

[streamsofstardust]

lovers 101 | j.t.k

jake kiszka x reader

word count: 8,071 (told y'all this was a big one)

content warnings: masturbating (m&f), drinking, choking, fingering, teasing/edging (up to interpretation), penetrative sex, lots of dirty talk, gross history stuff because education is important but brutal, more lingerie bc it's still hot, jake is literally feral idk what to tell you [let me know if i missed anything!]

summary: both you and jake are sick of the game. so what do you do with all the built up sexual tension?

a/n: oop I'm back. very sorry for the long wait. a bunch of people reached out asking where chapter three was and i promise i didn't forget about it. i've spent the last month adjusting to a new job and a new schedule but i promise i won't wait that long for the next chapter, especially now that it's really picking up. anyway, enjoy!

chapter 3- his favorite secret

When you met up with Lily at the car, you were visibly flustered. Lily smirked and opened her mouth, presumably to ask what went down between you and Professor Kiszka - Jake - after she left. You put a hand up to stop her before she could utter a single word, causing her to chuckle.

You were more or less dead silent the entire drive back home, save for a few nods and brief words of acknowledgement to your best friend, who was effortlessly filling the air with random stories. It was one hell of an effort to focus on what she said, though. Every thought in your brain was occupied by Jake. His hands on your body, his chest pressed against your own. His breath in your ear. How it was so easy for him to pull those little sounds out of you. He had you, hook line and sinker, and if you had your wits about you, you might have had the sense to feel slightly embarrassed by it all. But, alas, you didn’t. 

The moment you entered your apartment you grabbed the bottle of bourbon your parents had gifted you a while back, taking a few long swigs and not bothering to properly pour a glass. Lily laughed loudly at your behavior.

“Was it that bad?” You shook your head in response, waiting for the lingering burn to subside before giving a verbal answer.

“Not bad, Lil. He’s just… god. He’s the fucking devil.”

“And you want to fuck him.” You hung your head. “I really do.”

“You want to fuck the devil.”

You sighed dramatically. “I want to fuck the devil.”

Lily grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, handing you one and moving the bourbon back to its place on the bar cart. She looked at you with raised brows and an expression that read so, what happened? You took a deep breath and filled her in.

– –

Back on campus, Jake was sitting in his office, the assignments he had been grading long forgotten in a pile on the floor. After your encounter post-lecture, Jake had nearly sprinted to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He was achingly hard, but he knew he couldn’t do a damn thing about it while he was still at work. He had half a mind to cancel his next two classes so he could go home early and grant himself a much needed release.

So that’s exactly what he did. 

His right hand grabbed the gearshift the entire drive back to his house, his knuckles completely white. He couldn’t recall the last time a woman had had this much of an influence on his body, his mind. You were consuming him and he couldn’t ignore the primal urges telling him to make you his in every way. He was determined to have a taste of you, and soon. Besides, he had no doubt that you wanted the same thing. 

– – 

After telling Lily your brief story, you waited with bated breath for her reaction; she had been uncharacteristically quiet. She was sitting across from you on your bed, resting her chin on her palms as her fingers softly tapped on her face.

“So he cornered you.”

“I mean, we were leaning on his desk, I wouldn’t say he-”

“And you put his thumb in your mouth??”

“Yeah, that was, um… impulsive.”

“And he choked you?!?!” The shock at that question didn’t shock you, it was kind of valid.

You flushed at the reminder, though, swearing you could still feel Jake’s hand on your throat. You smirked and shuddered, quickly imagining those warm, sturdy hands elsewhere. You were snapped out of your fantasy - quite literally - by the sound of Lily’s fingers clicking in front of your face. Smiling sheepishly, you muttered quietly, “Sorry, got a bit lost in my head for a moment.” Lily scoffed playfully.

– –

As a thank you for taking care of her last weekend, Lily offered to make dinner for the two of you. And, rather than order take out and put the food on your dinner plates - which she often counted as her “making dinner” - she actually cooked a meal. You appreciated it, of course, and decided to jump into the shower while she prepared the food. Unfortunately for you, the down time gave you ample opportunity to think about what had happened earlier in the day between you and Jake.

You wondered if he had been holding himself back in that moment. If, had you given the okay, he would have gone even further. You were granted a glimpse into who Jake was outside of the lecture hall, when he was a man other than the brilliant and sophisticated Professor Kiszka. You were given a sneak peak at who he became behind closed doors, and now you couldn’t stop yourself from letting your imagination go wild. 

You adjusted the water temperature to a perfect heat, one that instantly relaxed the muscles you didn’t notice had been horribly tense. You washed your hair, taking in the scent of vanilla and rose, before washing off your body, and, subsequently, Jake’s touch. The very thought of that made you frown. How long would it be before you felt the warmth of his body on yours? How long would you have to wait before you could kiss him? His soft, plump lips took center stage in your mind. You began thinking about how they’d feel on your own, how they’d feel training along your throat, leaving small purple bruises in their wake. You thought about those very lips moving along every inch of your skin, marking parts of you that were kept hidden to the rest of the world.

Subconsciously, you began sliding your hands down your body, lower and lower until you graced the skin of your upper thighs. You gently massaged the skin, taking the time to work yourself up before getting to what you really wanted. Lily was cooking, after all, so you had plenty of time. One of your hands moved up to massage one of your breasts, a soft sigh escaping your lips at the feeling. Once more you found yourself imagining your hands were replaced by Jake’s.

Jake.

His name fit him so perfectly. It excluded power, yet spoke to how… regular, he really was. It was sexy, knowing him on a first name basis. You weren’t just another student anymore. Now there was a budding rapport, one that you hoped would result in you finding your way into his bed. Or hell, bent over the desk in his private office. The thought of that instantly brought your attention to your previously forgotten task. 

You no longer cared to move slowly, choosing instead to make use of the intense pressure pouring out of your shower head. One day you’d thank Lily for replacing the one that was originally there with a detachable version.

Switching the setting to a higher, more direct jet, you immediately placed the head over your core. The pressure paired with the heat of the waster was incredible, and you sank deep into the pleasure. Yeah, you’d definitely be thanking Lily.

You shut your eyes and rested your head against the cold tile, enjoying every minute of your self satisfaction. You could feel your release coming on strong, and god was it needed. You had left Jake’s classroom shortly after his rather bold statement, not opening any doors for something more to happen. So yeah, you needed some relaxation in the form of what you hoped would be a very satisfactory orgasm.

The build up was intense, your legs already struggling to keep you standing. But, as if the gods had decided to play a cruel joke on you, loud knocking on the bathroom door pulled you from that glorious ledge.

“You’ve been in there forever! Stop using up all the hot water and get your ass out here. I just slaved over this meal and if you let it get cold I’m making you walk to class.” God damn it Lily.

Just as quickly as your orgasm had bloomed, it dissipated, taking your content mood with it. You were close, so achingly close that not falling over that edge was almost painful.

Maybe you wouldn’t be thanking Lily after all.

– – 

Just twenty minutes away at his own house, Jake was in a situation almost identical to yours, save for the roommate with terrible timing.

As Jake stepped into the shower, his thoughts were racing, every single one of them focused on you. He hadn’t been able to get you off his mind all week, and the day you dressed up to resemble him? Well, he was impressed with his ability to not fuck you in front of the entire class. Every part of him was screaming to make you his.

There was no question that he thought you were gorgeous. But your beauty wasn’t the only part of you he was enchanted by. He liked your wit, how you challenged him with that sassy, seductive attitude. Even when he caught you off guard, you managed to stay at his level, even one upping him from time to time. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman had made him so flustered. He enjoyed the back and forth, the game of cat and mouse, immensely.

And above everything else, he adored how determined you were to get what you wanted. He especially liked that that was him.

He thought about what you might have done after you two parted ways. Did you run to your friend and squeal like a schoolgirl? He huffed a laugh at that. No, he certainly didn’t see you doing that.

Did you think about his words? How his hands felt on your skin? How close he was to you? Did you think about his hand wrapped around your throat? He was dying to know.

Jake hadn’t stopped thinking about any of that. You were so god damn close, the scent emanating off of you - vanilla and rose - so undeniably you, and he loved it. He thought about how he could feel your pulse racing, your heart begging to leap out of your chest.

He thought about how he believed he really had you in that moment. But, ever the feisty little thing, you couldn’t let him have the win. When you sucked his thumb into your mouth his knees almost buckled. The way your tongue felt on his skin sent him reeling. And the way you looked up at him with those big innocent eyes… No, he knew those were bullshit. You were far from innocent. An absolute fucking minx.

He wanted to feel your lips on his. He nearly kissed you in that room, and he was sure you expected him to do just that. He couldn’t make it that easy for you, though. He wanted to see you on your knees, hear you beg. Telling him how badly you craved him. His touch, his kiss, his cock. Fuck, he desperately needed to hear that.

He found himself reaching for his cock, hard and leaking already. He leaned his head down, dribbling his own spit onto himself before beginning to stroke his dick at a slow pace. He did his best to imagine your hands wrapped around him, but the callouses that covered his hands from years of playing guitar made that horribly difficult.

It was almost embarrassing for Jake. The way he was getting so close so quickly. He wanted to feel your lips around him, to watch tears pool in your eyes and run down your face as he fucked your throat.

Fuck. He needed you more than anything.

The thought of him slipping into your soaking wet cunt was what sent him speeding towards the edge. The whimpers and breathy moans that you’d release at the feeling of him stretching you out. Sounds that would turn into full blown screams of his name as he fucked you senseless. All Jake wanted was to watch you fall apart under him over and over and over until you could barely move, too fucked out to think about anything other than him.

The nail in the coffin for him was thinking about spilling him cum inside of you, only pulling out enough to watch it start to pour out before fucking it back into you.

With just a few more strokes, Jake released a loud groan and found his release, placing his palm against the cold time to steady himself.

In his post orgasm haze, Jake made a decision. No more games. No more subtly fucking with each other. He needed you, and soon.

– –

By the time your next class with Jake came along, you were ansty. Obviously you two were on the same page, there was no doubt about that. The question was, what would his next move be? You wanted him to have control over the situation, settling for lingering glances, sexy outfits, and trying to distract him during his lectures. You had fun with it, if you were honest, but after seeing the lust in his eyes, you crave more.

You were trying to listen to the story Lily was telling you about a guy in her english literature class that she insisted she was going to marry. The sound of a paper being put on your desk immediately grabbed your attention and you could smell Jake’s cologne as he walked past your desk. You picked up the paper - your last written exam - and went to put it away without a second thought. As you moved to do so, you noticed a large C- at the top in red ink, and your eyes nearly fell out of your head. 

C-??? You could have sworn you nailed that exam. Your attention then shifted to the note written directly under the grade:

See me after class.

~ Jake

Well, at least you’d have an excuse to spend some time with him.

At the end of class, you told Lily to head out without you. You both had about an hour to spare before your next class, so with a wag of her eyebrows and a rather suggestive gesture from her hands, she left the room. You waited for everyone to leave before addressing him.

“Um, you wanted to see me?” You asked, trying to conceal your nervous state.

Jake put down his pen and lifted his head to face you. “Yeah, I did. What happened there?” He pointed at the paper in your hand before crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I could’ve sworn I stressed the importance of taking detailed notes in my class.” 

Oh. He really did only want to discuss your grade.

“You did, and I do! I honestly thought I did really well on it. Kinda shocked at the grade I got.” You dropped your head in shame and couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Stupid college girl was so distracted trying to seduce her professor that she screwed herself academically. Good job.

“You need to review more, then. I know it’s a lot of material and it can be a bit daunting, but you’re smart. You can do better than this.” His voice was soft, but you still couldn’t stop yourself from feeling like he was scolding you. You didn’t like that he sounded disappointed in you.

“Is there extra credit or something else I can do?” You asked, trying to be hopeful. “Or can I retake the exam?” A C- on your belt made you angry; you couldn’t leave it like that and move on.

You still hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes, knowing you couldn’t handle it if he looked as disappointed as you imagined. But then, you had no choice. 

“I don’t really do extra credit.” You felt the warmth of his hand on your skin as his forefinger lifted your head up by your chin, forcing you to look at him. Those brown eyes would be the death of you. “But I can help you study after class if you’d like.”

You looked at him in shock. “You’d really do that?” Yeah, you definitely sounded a bit too excited at his offer, something that certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Jake. He flashed that gorgeous smile and chuckled, nodding his head before responding.

“Yes, I’d be happy to.”

The soft side of Jake was new to you and you really liked it. You couldn’t ignore the swarm of butterflies making a home in your stomach.

“Meet me in my office tonight around 6. My last class gets out around 5:50, so I’ll meet you there. Okay?”

You smiled brightly and nodded. “That’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

You turned to leave, but were stopped by a hand wrapping around your wrist, one that pulled you back into his chest. Your breath caught in your throat, your pulse racing. You had placed a hand against his chest to stop yourself from slamming into him. He was so fucking warm, all you wanted to do was move your hand along his body, feeling the taught muscles of his torso and his arms. You were losing focus quickly, feeling yourself getting worked up simply by the close proximity and minimal physical contact.

“You better show up and be on time.” He paused, moving your hair away from your ear and leaning in to speak directly into it, his hot breath causing you to shiver. You felt the hand on your wrist move up your arm, his grip still just as firm. His other hand found its place on your hip, and he spoke again, this time much closer than he had before.

“I’d hate to have to punish you, sweetheart.”

– –

The second you were able to, you rushed home to get ready before your meeting with Jake. You recurled some of the strands of hair that had loosened throughout the day, applied a bit more makeup, and changed into a completely different outfit. It was rather cold in the morning, so you had originally gone with a pair of dark wash jeans, a baggy sweater, and booties, but of course, that wasn’t good enough for your one on one with Jake.

You decided to change into a short, plaid wool skirt, sheer black tights, a plain black bodysuit, and thigh high boots. If he looked at you with suspicion, you’d do your best to pass it off as you needing to look good to grab drinks with Lily once you left. Obviously you knew the truth, though, and while you certainly believed Jake intended on helping you study, you were determined to get a little something extra.

As you made your way back to campus, you felt your hands getting clammy. You probably had no reason to be as nervous as you were, but you really couldn’t help it. Not to mention you were still on edge about the reason for this meeting: your shitty and very much unexpected exam grade.

Checking your watch for the time, you saw you made it to Jake’s office with eight minutes to spare. You waited outside his door after seeing he still wasn’t back from his last class. Not a problem, you were in no rush. A few minutes later he appeared, looking as incredible as he did earlier in the day. It amazed you that his good looks were so effortless.

Picking his head up from his phone, he saw you standing outside his office, and a crooked smile developed on his face. “Early for our meeting? Good girl.” The last two words rasped out of his mouth while he was just barely a foot away from you and you could’ve sworn he said them to get a rise out of you. Heat flooded your body and pooled in your core at the simple praise. You supposed he did, in fact, get a reaction, but not one that he could blatantly observe. 

Unfortunately for you, Jake was great at reading body language, and given that the two of you had spent so much time trying to get the tiniest reaction out of the other, he’d gotten rather familiar with some of your tells. So you didn’t need to be super obvious about his praise turning you on, you didn’t need to tell him at all. He could see it in the way your eyes widened, the way your cheeks flushed, and the way a hushed gasp left your lips. It was almost too easy for him.

He led you into his office, gesturing for you to take a seat in front of his desk. You didn’t miss the way his eyes roamed over your body, taking in your appearance and swiping his bottom lip with his tongue. There was an unmistakable hunger in his eyes that made you squirm in your seat and you prayed to the gods above that he’d finally do something about all the fucking tension.

Once he sat down at his desk, you figured it was time to actually be productive. Shaking yourself out of your daze, you reached into your bag to pull out your exam, unintentionally giving him a clear view of your cleavage. The sight had his right hand twitching from its place on the wood, nearly moving to palm himself in his pants. He had a job to do, and while he had plenty of other things - all of them involving you and his desk - he needed to put that on hold, at least for a moment. 

Jake admittedly had been thinking of ways to combine helping you with… helping himself, while on the way to his office. He knew it was highly unprofessional but he couldn’t think of something that didn’t involve at least some part of him touching you. Rather than internally scold himself, he decided to give in to those thoughts. 

When he saw you place the paper on his desk in front of you, he put his hand out and shook it slightly. “No, you won’t need that right now. I already have the material you need to review.” You furrowed your brow in confusion. You had been expecting to just go through the exam, but Jake seemed to have other ideas and you had no reason to object. 

He took out a stack of papers from his bag and placed them in front of himself before pushing his chair back as if to stand up. “Come here.” He instructed. His voice was deep and sturdy and you found yourself moving over to him without a sliver of hesitation. You watched as he patted his lap, “Sit down, sweetheart.”

You looked at him in shock, not sure if he was being serious. You looked around the room, unable to keep your eyes focused on him, but you were quickly brought back as he wrapped his hand around your wrist and pulled you closer.

“Jake, I- I don’t know if that’s-”

“I said sit. Do not make me tell you again.”

You nodded your head and moved to sit on his lap, careful to not put your weight fully on him, but he immediately gripped your hips and pulled you down so you were completely seated. You tried your hardest to stay completely still, having absolutely no idea what he was planning. Jake started pointing at the notes, one of his hands remaining planted on your waist. It was truly a daunting task to pay attention to anything other than your current position. He was supposed to be helpful, not a bigger distraction.

“You’re going to review what I’ve written here. Read each paragraph 5 times, slowly to make sure you’re really absorbing it, before moving on to the next one. I’ll stop to quiz you periodically when I see fit.” Okay?

His instruction seemed simple enough, reading wasn’t difficult and his method was typically how you studied on your own so this was familiar territory. That said, you didn’t…

“Jake, why do I have to sit on your lap while I’m reading?” That’s the one part that just wasn’t clicking for you. Not that you particularly minded where you sat, but still. You figured there had to be some ulterior motive. 

Jake quirked a smile at you, slowly moving his hands over your hips. It was relaxing, but made you feel dizzy. If he kept touching you while you studied there was no way you’d be able to focus on anything.

“Because, sweetheart, I’m going to be your motivation.” He spoke the words as if his intentions should have been obvious to you. Should they have been? Motivation? He must have noticed the look of sheer confusion on your face because he spoke once more.

“You’re going to read and do your best to memorize all of what’s in front of you. If you can manage to do that, you’ll be rewarded. If you can’t, you’ll be punished. Understand?”

“Vaguely…” He had a mischievous look on his perfect face and you knew better than to disregard it. You had your hopes as to what he could’ve meant, but you never knew with him. Especially since he’d yet to actually do anything to or with you. You really hoped that would change tonight.

He smirked at you, loving that you hadn’t fully caught on to his motives yet. “Just read.” You turned to face the papers and began reading, waiting with bated breath to see what Jake would end up doing. 

Okay, Razin’s Rebellion. You could’ve sworn you remembered that one from his lectures, but you read the passage he wrote, which appeared to be a collection of important aspects, rather than a complete breakdown of the event. 

~ After massacring all who opposed him and giving the rich bazaars of the city over to pillage, Stepan Razin converted Astrakhan into a Cossack republic, dividing the population into thousands, hundreds, and tens, with their proper officers, all of whom were appointed by a general assembly, whose first act was to proclaim Razin their sovereign.

~ The tsar sent troops to suppress the revolt. As Paul Avrich notes in Russian Rebels, 1600–1800, "The brutality of the repressions by far exceeded the atrocities committed by the insurgents." The tsar's troops mutilated the rebels' bodies and displayed them in public to serve as a warning to potential dissenters.

~ Razin and his brother were captured at Kagalnik Fortress in 1671 by Cossack elders and turned over to Tsarist officials in Moscow. On June 16, following the reading of the verdict against him, Razin was quartered on the Red Square, where he was ultimately beheaded.

You read over the notes two more times, doing your best to memorize it word for word, before you noticed Jake’s hands had begun moving. Both of his hands had left their spot on your waist, slowly traveling over the tops of your thighs. Your breath hitched and you dropped the pen you’d been holding to keep your place. You leaned back into Jake’s touch, sighing at the feeling of him touching you in places he hadn’t before. But, just as quickly as his actions had started, they stopped, pulling a whine from you. 

Pushing you forward and away from his body, he addressed you. “Don’t whine. I told you to read, and you stopped. Keep going.” He couldn’t be serious.

“I was focusing just fine until you started touching me.” You sassed.

He grabbed your chin and jerked it to face him. “Did you not like it? Because it sure sounded like you were enjoying yourself.”

“Of course I liked it, so why did you stop?” You were frustrated. You didn’t want the games, you just wanted him.

“Because you stopped reading. I told you, do what you’re told and you’ll be rewarded. You want me to keep touching you? I’ll be happy to, as long as you keep reading.” You stared at him incredulously. “You stop, I stop.” 

If looks could kill Jake would be dead right now, but he laughed at your attempt to look intimidating. Patting your cheek patronizingly he spoke, “better get back to reading, huh?”

You scowled at him and turned back to continue reading, picking up from where you left off. You still had to read this section 2 more times, and lord knows what he was going to do next. Once Jake realized you had continued, his hands did as well, dragging lower down your thighs before moving back up. His hands began moving inward every time they came back up, each inch closer making your pulse race erratically. 

God you missed his touch. You hadn’t realized how badly you craved it until his hands were back on you, and even through your tights you could feel how strong they were. It took a huge amount of willpower you didn’t know you possessed to not pick up his hand and put it around your throat. There would be time for that later, you assumed.

You made your way to the next set of bullets about the French Invasion of Russia. 

~ The French invasion of Russia, also known as the Russian campaign, the Second Polish War, the Army of Twenty nations, and the Patriotic War of 1812 was launched by Napoleon Bonaparte to force the Russian Empire back into the continental blockade of the United Kingdom.

~ Within six weeks, Napoleon lost half of his men because of the extreme weather conditions, disease and hunger, winning just the Battle of Smolensk. The Russian Army continued to retreat, under its new Commander in Chief Mikhail Kutuzov, employing attrition warfare against Napoleon.

~ Although several retreating French corps united with the main army, when the Berezina was reached, Napoleon only had about 49,000 troops and 40,000 stragglers of little military value. On 5 December, Napoleon left the army at Smorgonie in a sledge and returned to Paris. Within a few days, 20,000 more perished from the bitter cold and louse-borne diseases. As many as 380,000 died in the campaign, and Napoleon’s reputation of invincibility was shattered.

As you read, all you could focus on was the way Jake’s hands moved. You wanted him to strip you down, bend you over his desk and fuck you into oblivion. Maybe if you played your cards right, he would. 

While you were in the middle of reviewing the second bullet for the second time, Jake pulled the paper away from you. You frowned at him, “Hey! I was reading that.”

He watched the pout form on your face, feeling warmth throughout his body at the sight. You were down right sexy on any given day, but god you were fucking cute. He wanted to kiss that pout so badly, to finally feel your lips on his, but he was determined to stick to his original plan. 

“Good I’m glad, seeing as that’s what you were instructed to do.” You looked away and rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure what it was about him that made you feel so bratty but you couldn’t stop yourself or your attitude. You chalked it up to the pent up sexual frustration that nagged at you like a swarm of mosquito in your ear.

Jake’s hands moved back to their place on your thick thighs, moving at a quicker pace than before and getting closer and closer to where you really wanted them to be. “Question 1- Where and when was Stepan Razin captured and what occurred after his capture?” 

You opened your mouth to answer, but right as you went to speak, Jake’s fingers slipped under your skirt. Your breathing picked up and you completely forgot what you were going to tell him.

His fingers made no attempt to stop, but he looked at you expectantly. “Come on sweet girl, you know the answer.” You swallowed harshly but nodded, calming yourself down to speak again.

“Kagalnik Fort-fortress in 1671. H-he was quartered and beheaded.” You were impressed with yourself that you could even get that out. He nodded in approval, his fingers ever so slightly brushed over the lace of your panties. He groaned under his breath at the feeling. You were so fucking warm, all he wanted was to rip the thin fabric right off your body, but he composed himself. 

“And where was he beheaded?” His fingers moved with a feather light touch that had you itching for more. He was so god damn close, but he wouldn’t stop teasing. It was driving you crazy.

You took a deep breath, “the Red Square.”

He smiled again, “good girl.” Before you could even consider responding to him, you felt the pads of his middle and ring fingers press firmly against your core through the lace. 

Fuck yes.

He gently circled his fingers over you, your head falling back onto his shoulder. Jake took advantage of the open access to your neck, immediately peppering dragged out, wet kisses against your skin. It felt incredible, the pairing of the two sensations. You found yourself softly moaning and grinding into his hands, searching shamelessly for more. 

“Keep reading. Remember, I’ll continue if you do.”

You quickly nodded and brought your attention to the paper Jake had put back in front of you. As you read the second set of bullets 3 more times, you struggled immensely. Jake hadn’t stopped touching you and it was a challenge to keep your eyes open and your head up. You desperately needed more, needed to feel his fingers inside you. 

The time passed by without you realizing, but by the time Jake moved the paper away from you to ask you the next set of questions, your stomach dropped. You couldn’t recall a single thing you read… and you had enough sense to know that was bad for you.

“Question 3- How many of Napoleon’s men died in the campaign against Russia?”

Shit. So, so stupid of you to not focus enough. No, no, that was entirely his fault. He knew what he was doing. He was setting you up because he wanted to see you squirm. God he really was the devil.

“Um… uh…” With your hesitation came the retraction of his fingers. You reached out to grab him to keep him still, but his free hand easily wrapped around both of your wrists and kept them away. “No, Jake, please. Please don’t stop. Please!”

“You want my fingers? Answer the fucking question.”

You fought the urge to groan and roll your eyes. Obviously you would’ve answered the question if you knew the fucking answer. You figured that saying that out loud would only screw you over more, though.

“I- shit, Jake, I don’t know. I don’t remember. 75,000?? I don’t know, I just- please, please don’t stop.”

With that, he removed his hand completely from beneath your skirt, and at that point you let the frustrated whine pour from your lips. 

“I warned you, sweetheart. Stand up.” Not having the energy to fight, you did as you were told, standing in front of him with your back turned towards the desk, your eyes staring up at him through thick lashes. 

He stared back at you, his gaze intense but mischievous. And then for whatever reason, it softened. You watched as he clenched his jaw and stared down at your lips, your bottom lip being bitten ever so slightly by your top teeth. Jake’s thumb came up to pull your bottom lip out, smoothing over it with the pad of his finger and smiling ever so slightly. His brows furrowed, and it seemed as though he was fighting with himself in his head. He took a deep breath and looked into your eyes before shifting his stare back to your lips. 

Was he going to kiss you? Is that what he was debating? You fully thought he was about to punish you even more for not being able to answer his question, but maybe that soft side of Jake was making another appearance.

“Jake?”

He looked back up at you, seeing the confusion written on your face. He wanted you so much more than he could describe, in every way possible. Yet there was still a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him it was a huge risk, and in all honesty, he knew that it was. He also knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle being around you as much as he had been if he forced himself to keep things professional. He wasn’t even sure he could actually be successful in doing that.

“I probably should’ve said this a while ago, and I know it’s shitty of me that I didn’t. I wasn’t thinking and that’s my fault. I just feel like before I do anything else, before we do anything else, I need to be completely transparent.”

He’d never been this serious with you, and you weren’t sure how to feel about it. You replayed his words in your head a few times, suddenly filled with anxiety and nausea. You stepped away from him and put your hands up between the two of you.

“Jake… please do not tell me you’re married.” You were probably shaking like a chihuahua. You refused to be a home wrecker. God a married man screwing around with his student?? That would be awful, so terribly awful. You’d feel like shit. Granted you’ve never seen him wear a wedding band, though he does wear a lot of r-

“Married?? What?? No, I’m not married.Why would you- oh. Okay, I could have phrased that way better than I did, I’m sorry sweetheart.” He moved closer to you and took your hands in his, both of you looking down at where you were connected. 

“You have no fucking idea how badly I want you, how often I think about you. How many times I’ve had to stop myself from tossing you over my desk in that classroom and fucking the daylights out of you in front of every other student.” You shuddered at his confession. You had a feeling that was likely the case, but hearing the confirmation was exhilarating. 

“But you have to understand how much is at risk if someone finds out about this.” You weren’t sure this was even a thing yet, but you elected to not interrupt him. “I could lose my job, you could get expelled. Someone could twist it and say that I took advantage of you. I don’t want any of that to happen to either of us.”

“Jake, if you don't want to risk it, I understand. I wouldn't blame you at all.” It would suck, sure, but you didn't want to completely fuck over his - or your - entire life.

He pulled you into him, not a single inch separating your bodies. He moved your hair over your shoulder, taking a brief pause to play with one of the curls. Taking advantage of the now fully unobstructed expanse of your throat, he bent down to trail kisses along the skin. His lips felt like electricity on your body and you couldn't get enough of it, lopping your fingers around the belt loops of his pants to keep him close. Your eyes fluttered shut and your mouth ran dry, soft sighs tumbling out from between your own lips. Lips that were begging to be on his.

“Oh angel. Haven't I shown you just how much I want you? Haven't I been horrendously obvious?” You smiled as he continued kissing your throat, moving up to nip at your earlobe.

You pushed him away, just briefly, to look into his eyes. “You might have to show a bit more Jake. I’m not sure I fully got the message.”

Excitement flashed in his eyes and without another thought, his lips crashed against yours. You both sighed and relaxed into the kiss, as if you were both on edge just waiting for this very moment. Truth be told, you both were. Your hands wrapped around his neck while his moved to pick you up from under your ass. 

Mumbling against your lips, he commanded, “jump” and you did just that. Jake cleared off his desk, shoving the papers and books to the floor without hesitation, and sat you on top of the polished wood.

You didn't have it in you to take things slow, so without breaking the kiss you grabbed his shirt from where it buttoned up and tugged as hard as you could, sending the buttons flying across the room. He groaned in response and you finally moved to feel his bare chest. So warm, just like you remembered. 

Jake unzipped your skirt and slid it off your body with ease. He then moved down, breaking the kiss to your dismay, and unclasped your bodysuit, immediately ridding it from your body as well. At that point you were left in your tights, your boots, and a brand new black lace lingerie set that you may or may not have purchased with a certain professor in mind.

He tossed his head back and moaned. “You're going to be the fucking death of me.” The way your breasts were practically pouring out of the bra sent him reeling. On a different day when he didn't feel like a feral animal he’d take more time to appreciate every inch of you. But today was certainly not one of those days, and Jake borderline ripped the fabric from your body. He needed to see you exposed in front of him, and god, what a sight you were.

His lips attached to one of your breasts, sucking and biting so perfectly. One of his hands came down to massage the other, while his free hand moved down to finally touch you without the barrier of clothing. Two of his fingers slipped between your folds and you both moaned loudly. 

“Shit, you're fucking soaked. Who made you this wet baby? Tell me.” His fingers felt incredible, but you needed so much more. As if he could read your mind, Jake inserted those fingers into your dripping heat and curled them with expert precision. 

You threw your head back and moaned, words being nearly impossible to form. “Y-you, Jake. Fuck, don’t stop.” You didn’t have it in you to be embarrassed by how quickly you were reaching your climax. You’d been so worked up from the tension alone that by the time Jake was actually touching you, you were putty in his hands, and he knew it too.

“Won’t stop baby. Wanna see you cum all over my fingers. Come on sweetheart, give it to me.” His voice was like the finest silk, and your body immediately responded to his command, shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

Once you had calmed down enough, you moved to kneel in front of Jake, your hands already reaching for his belt, but he stopped you and shook his head. You looked up at him in confusion.

“Believe me, I’d love to shove my cock into that gorgeous mouth and watch you choke on it, but I need to fuck you right now.” Your body shook at his filthy words, wanting nothing more than to hear him continue speaking. It wouldn’t be shocking at all if he could get you off with just his words alone. Maybe you’d try to test that out one day.

You nodded and brought your hands back to his belt, quickly undoing it, along with the button and zipper of his pants. He chuckled at your eagerness but pushed his pants down and spun you around to bend you over his desk. His hands caressed your body with a softness that would surely juxtapose his next actions. Jake spread you open and glided his fingers through your pussy a few more times before spreading the wetness that had accumulated on his fingers over his cock. He was throbbing and needed to be inside you so badly, he thought if he didn’t fuck you he’d explode.

Not wasting anymore time, Jake sheathed himself fully inside of you, collapsing onto your back and taking deep breaths for a moment before collecting himself, pushing up, and beginning to fuck into you mercilessly. The sounds coming from both of your mouths, as well as skin slapping harshly against skin, were bouncing off the walls. All you knew was him, all you could think about was him. Just Jake and how fucking incredible he felt. The stretch was delicious and you welcomed the minor sting of pain, one that quickly dissolved into sheer pleasure.

“Jesus Christ, you feel so fucking amazing wrapped around me.” He moaned out. He grabbed your hair and pulled you back, the new angle making you scream. He licked a stripe up your neck and bit your ear lobe before biting it gently. “God, you’re taking my cock so fucking well sweetheart. Such a good girl for me.” 

Your eyes rolled back into your head at his words, pussy clenching around him. He groaned in your ear. “Don’t do that sweetheart, don’t fucking- fuck- I’m gonna cum if you keep that up.”

Clenching again, you smirked, knowing he couldn’t see it due to your current position. You heard him scoff in response, a sound that was cut off by his own whiny moan. 

“Yeah? Is that what you want? You want me to cum? Such a desperate little slut. Come on baby, beg for my fucking cum.” 

Jake’s pace picked up, his thrusts pushing you harder into the desk you were leaning on. You felt your second orgasm coming and knew it wouldn’t take much before you reached that peak again. You opened your mouth to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear, but you were cut off by the feeling of his fingers reaching around to rub quick circles over your clit. The only sounds coming out of you were screams of his name and an assortment of curses as you came around him. 

He felt animalistic, a low growl booming from his chest at the sound of his name falling off your perfect lips. It was the greatest thing Jake had ever heard in his life and he knew he’d be doing whatever he could after this to hear that beautiful noise over and over. 

“Come on Jake, pl-please. Need it so badly, want you to cum. Please, Jake. Please!” You’d beg as much as he wanted, but you could tell he was close, his dick twitching inside of you and his thrusts losing their rhythm. 

“Shit, yeah. Gonna cum. So good, so fucking good.” You felt Jake move to pull out and you reached back to grab his wrist, turning to face him and shaking your head.

“Inside.” His head dropped at the simple demand. You really would be the death of him.

“Fucking hell, yeah, yeah okay. Fuck okay.” His voice came out as a raspy whisper, even he was too fucked out to properly speak. “Gonna fill this tight little pussy with my cum.”

With just a few more thrusts, you felt him spill inside you, both of you moaning at the feeling. Jake slumped over you once he was done riding out his orgasm, both of you completely spent and out of breath. After a minute, he lifted himself up, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder and pulling out. You stood up, moving to walk over to where your clothing had been thrown, but faltering as your legs buckled under you. 

Jake reached out to grab your arm and hold you steady, chuckling a bit. You scowled at him, poking his chest. “Don’t laugh at me, this is your fault.”

His laugh only got louder at your accusation. “You’re right. I’m sorry for fucking you senseless and making it hard for you to walk. It’ll never happen again.”

This time you stared at him, masking your worry with a raised brow as if to question if he meant those words. He raised his hands in the air.

“That was a joke, I promise.” 

“It better be.”

“Trust me, I’m not done with you. Now get dressed, we’re going back to my place.”

You rushed to put your clothing back on as he did the same. “Round two?” You asked, hoping the answer would be yes. Sure, you could barely move, but you couldn’t get enough of him.

He smirked, reaching for your hand and pulling you towards the door. “And three, if you can handle it.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @allieboop @obetrolncocktails @greta-flanveet @kdarling1 @doodle417 @mollie-gvf @hoeforstevienicks @joshkiszkas @gardenofgreta @gretasmokerising @lunaindigoraven @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @jakewhorecore @teddiie @sammiejane22 @gretavanbitches @jordierama @skankforjakekiszka @fantazmagorical96 @gretavangroove @heartsbomb @gvfrry @myownparadise96 @richjaaasss @mywaykiszka @cyliegvf

#jake kiszka #jake kizka gvf #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #gvf #greta van fleet #gretavanfleet #jake kiszka gvf fic #my fics #gvf fic #greta van fleet fic

[kitkatopinions]

Fuming cause I’m so fucking annoyed that queer rwby fans are going to just eat up Bmblbee when it becomes cannon ignoring the several years it took, the harmful stereotypes that came before it, and try to put it on par with shows like SU or ToH while RT/Crwby didn’t struggle or have to drag their feet for nearly as long as they did

Yeah, not to rain on anyone's parade because I'm honestly in the camp of 'people (especially queer people) being excited about a queer ship being canon is one hundred percent valid and understandable even if the company and/or show is bad and bigoted and even if the meta surrounding the ship paints a bad picture and even if I personally dislike the ship,' but like.... It's so weird.

I don't have ANYTHING against people that like Blake and Yang as a ship, are excited when they see content surrounding it, will celebrate if they get together, or post gifs of every 'bees moment' that makes it on screen. As someone who has freaked out over characters I ship standing close to each other or looking at each other too long and is currently still hoping that Merlin might come back some day and might confirm Merlin and Arthur as a ship more than a decade after the show ended, I truly truly get it. But at the same time, some of the bees fans... Are really pissing me off. Because some of them are not just excited about the fact that their ship will likely get confirmed in a month, they're also praising RWBY and RT for being 'progressive' when they're behind the curve of queer representation with no censoring (unlike things like Adventure Time, which took about ten years to confirm Marceline and Bubblegum I think.) Not only are people like 'omg bees kiss this season maybe?' they're also sitting there yelling at other queer people for saying they're unsatisfied with RWBY's lackluster attempt. Not only are people hyping themselves up over a ship they've waited years for, but they're also completely dismissing and forgetting RT's huge and recent controversy including massive homophobia and transphobia to do so, and getting angry when other people say that the company and the show (partially created by and written by Miles Luna a former RT higher up with a history of misogyny and sexualizing and fetishizing a bi-woman) might be intending to use Blake and Yang as a ship to get in the fans good graces again and try to smooth things over.

Also, people were pre-emptively celebrating the definitely-gonna-happen confirmation that Blake and Yang were queer before the end of volume five, and before the start of volume six, and before the end of volume six, and before the start of volume seven, and before the end of volume seven, and before the start of volume eight, and before the end of volume eight, and now again before the start of volume nine. And I think it's going to happen in volume nine, I really do (though tbh the trailers and the plugging have made me a bit more hesitant because it seems like they're again being like 'look guys they've both got their eyes closed in seemingly the same plaaaaace isn't that making you think they might kissssss,') I think they'd be stupid to not confirm it, it seems like the only logical thing. But I thought the same thing about the bees reunion in volume eight and then fans freaked the heck out claiming that a cheek-caress was canon confirmation and now we're back to people sending hate anons being like "We're all gonna laugh at you bees doubters when they kiss in volume nine." It feels like Disney introducing their seventh first gay character except with less confirmation. Idk, it's a lot.

But yeah, the thing is, some bumblebee fans just have to realize that nobody (especially not queer people) has to like or be excited for their ship, nobody has to (or tbh should be) congratulating the writers for doing the bare minimum of including at least one actually confirmed queer main character after ten years of no queer main character, and after having promised queer characters since volume two, which was filled to the brim with heteronormativity, and after Arryn Zech called Blake straight as late as 2019, and after the RWBY Arrowfell writers had Yang refer to Blake as like a sister to her less than a year ago, and after a massive controversy involving massive queerphobia, and tbh tons more. We don't have to respect the company or the show for their 'slowburn' when they were trying to sell pride-month shirts with all four main characters despite the fact that at the time not a single one of them had any line of dialogue confirming they were queer, and they still don't.

Blake and Yang will likely be confirmed as queer in the next season this year, and despite the fact that many critics of the show have been actively pushing for that, we're likely going to get told 'I told you so' and have a bunch of people gloating at us and calling us (the majority of us living real queer people,) homophobes for not jumping and down with joy that this web cartoon from a bigoted company with sketchy at best content finally did the bare minimum after ten years with no censorship. And meanwhile Miles fucking Luna with his Ruby-Rose-At-Sixteen body pillow and his 'funny' story about getting turned on by watching his ex make out with another girl and his former position as head of animation in the same company that treated the voice actress of one of four queer side characters horribly for years and years... He'll probably get praised to the skies for being such a trailblazing cool progressive guy despite the fact that he and the other writers are the ones who took ten years in the fucking first place, when Yang could've been confirmed as interested in girls since episode two of this show. It's annoying, to be honest. It gets my goat.

#rwde #anti bumblby #anti bumbleby #anti bees #anti bumblebee #anti rooster teeth

[daydreamodyssey]

This ended up being longer than I planned, so I'm sorry beforehand. It was about a whatever video of a girl using heightism, saying something stupid but possibly insidious, and me reflecting on our culture toward smallness, particularly with men and how it deals with gender.

(There's a fun present for those who read the whole thing, I promise!)

I saw a tiktok of a girl candidly and cheerfully saying she'd never date a short guy (5'8 or below, she was 5'2) because of a Napoleon complex.

Standard stuff, though still crossing into prejudice.

But then she goes off, in a chipper mood, about deleting them. That really stuck with me.

Best scenario, she just means deleting them off dating sites. Which is still crass and wouldn't fly if she said something similar about other attributes.

Worst scenario, which wouldn't be the first time I heard it, she means literally and physically delete them. She was talking to a guy out on the streets too, so this isn't done terminally online jerk. A lot of women saying they want men dead isn't cute or funny.

I hope people understand that having a preference or having a bad history with whatever group are different than this rhetoric. Even if that person can control something, as opposed to the near permanence of height, it shouldn't mean this group is inherently bad. The issue is the personality, not how long your limbs are or what genes you have. It's a really weird bioessentialism that says if you look different than your gender norm, you are a suspect and a creep in waiting.

There's also this other connection with many men smaller than (the US) average being men of color, which can have a racist and nativist tone. And since height can be affected by the environment, along with making many short people less likely to have high paying jobs and roles, there's probably a classist element, too. A lot of trans men are also short if you want to include transphobia, who already get barely any acknowledgement about how they're treated.

With a lot of women saying "it's in our genes or brains," and one I saw saying for short men to Stay In The Gym, there is this unspoken rule that men MUST be large and dominant or they're not seriously men. With the whole obsession over genetics and strong men, there is a dangerous overlap with trad and fascist ideals, especially with how radical right wing propaganda works (in the 30s/40s and now with the Chad Trad shit).

I don't think a lot of people, men or women, consciously think about this stuff. They could just be shallow assholes. But smallness is almost always seen as infantilism or criminality with no nuance in humanizing, let alone respect as lovers and workers. Maybe there's some taboo part of our private brain that still latches onto "big = strong against predators and rivals" and we don't want to admit and question it like with women and how we judge their looks.

When people say Napoleon complex, it's always vague, like it can mean anything from being aggressive to just being confident to someone taller. It doesn't mean anything and it just causes a Catch 22; you either accept your place on the arbitrary social ladder or you're insecure and in the spotlight. You can't win because you're not supposed to win.

For every short jerk, there's also a tall jerk. A tall jerk who has popularity, fans, girls, money, and literally more weight to throw around. Am I surprised there's a preference? No. I can still be upset about it because I'm human and I'm naturally going to be mad at things that feel unfair and need leverage. And I'm going to be upset when it feels ignored or derided because people don't want to admit they have biases that are more socially acceptable. I'm going to be upset that I and others who are around my height or even shorter have to push limits every day just be treated equally. I can't imagine having dwarfism and seeing these videos or hearing others on the street.

I hear pretty much everything from "short men are rapists for wanting women to be attracted to them" to eugenics and wanting us just dead. There's definitely other traits that compound the toll on a person (weight for myself) that can be greater or lesser, but it's definitely consistent and I've been seeing it rise over the years after some acceptance in the mid '10s.

We need to have honest conversations and reflections about our relationship with size and what it means to be a man. If you want to abolish the patriarchy but still insult a guy because he doesn't look as big and strong and dominant as other men, then you're playing the same side as the men in power or manosphere chuds. The amount of radfems I see hating short men is honestly funny. Like there's no tall misogynists or abusers out there.

If short men, or just A short man messed you up, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But it wasn't like he was infected with the Small Virus, he might've been just a jerk, the same way tall people might be jerks. Just understand that you're overlooking many people because of a bad experience and how dangerously close that mentality is when applying to other people, or toward yourself.

If you read long enough, I congratulate you, and I offer you this one hell of a title I saw in a flea market the other day.

#heightism #short men #social justice #toxic masculinity

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

I’m a literature lesbian so of course, I’m relating ivy by Taylor to Henry POV.

How's one to know?

Henry could have never imagined he would ever have a relationship with Alex.

I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones

In a faith forgotten land

I believe than that’s a metaphor for cemetery, but given than Alex and Henry didn’t see each other in cemeteries, we can find other meaning.

It can mean somewhere away from the palace. The spirit (Henry’s spirit) never meet his bones, because meanwhile he wants to do things, his body isn’t allowed to actually do them (in the palace). In a faith forgotten land where his spirit meets his bones is somewhere far from the responsibilities, like the White House, or the lake house, or a random hotel or anywhere.

“Faith forgotten” faith regarding god and the belief than god hated them for being gay. After all, the royal family is religious. English isn’t my first language so when I used to listen to the song I heard “fate” instead of “faith” which fits a lot more. Henry’s fate of marrying a woman and be closeted forever. Fate forgotten land, somewhere where he can forget about that and just be with Alex.

In from the snow

Their first kiss in the gardens, in December, in the snow.

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow

Tarnished but so grand

After sleeping together in February (for the first time)

Tarnished because Alex insisted they were “friends with blowjobs”. Alex ignored his own feelings and made Henry believe than those were his real feelings.

“Tarnished but so grand.” His feelings might have been different to Henry’s, but he had Alex’s body against his, and his lips on his, and that was enough.

And the old widow goes to the stone every day

But I don't, I just sit here and wait

Grieving for the living

“The old widow goes to the stone every day” I see as people who were hurt just like him (because let’s be honest, Alex saying than their relationship was purely sexual and platonic definitely hurt him) trying to get better, to go to the stone every day, to heal.

Henry just sat there and waited, didn’t try to get over his feelings, to heal, to pull away. He just grieved for the living.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Alex took care of Henry, he saw Henry with his depression and he didn’t run away, he stayed.

“Freezing hand” Alex was also hurting (his mental health, as we see in the book, was bad) and they helped each other. Alex took Henry’s pain into his freezing hand, and because of that, Henry warmed him (when you grab hands with other person, you pass body heat).

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Several meanings.

1- Henry believing than Alex would eventually pull away and leave him because he will find someone better, someone who would love him the way he deserved to be loved, someone who deserved to be loved by him.

2- Henry’s fate of marrying a woman in the future, against his wishes.

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

So much here.

1-Henry longing for Alex, Alex putting roots in his dreamland (should I tell you than when we’re apart…), seeing him in dreams. In daydreams,in hopes.

2-When Ivy grows on a house, there’s a certain point where the Ivy damages the house. It can damage the bricks and foundations (and walls). Henry loving Alex, loving him and hoping and yearning after him, even though it hurts. It hurts him because he thought there would never be a change of boing loved back or even if he was, than they could never be together (for his status). I also mentioned than Ivy damages the walls. I wish there weren’t a wall. I already made another post about the several walls Henry referred too, but i feel like this one could mean the walls Henry had up. Walls he used to protect himself, the truth of him being behind those walls, unseen, yet Alex breaking down those walls. Making Henry be able to let himself be vulnerable around him.

I wish to know

The fatal flaw that makes you long to be

Magnificently cursed

Curse: “a prayer or invocation for harm or injury to come upon one.” I feel like this could be Alex in Kensington, saying than they could find a way to be together, than they could do it. Alex stayed there, he flew an ocean just to tell Henry that. In Kensington (but before the morning after) Henry didn’t understand why he did that. Couldn’t he see it would all end up wrong? Henry wasn’t made to be loved. Henry was made to follow the rules written ahead of him, to continue the bloodline. He was meant to smile at cameras and be miserable, not to be in love and be loved back.

He was a prince, it could never work. Alex was only hurting himself by believing that.

Aside from his position, there was his whole self. Why would Alex love him? What was there of him to love? Henry had depression, he had bad days, days where he couldn’t even shower but it just was too much. Henry was an overthinker, someone who could only talk through paper, words only came out of him when written down, he didn’t know how to talk. He didn’t know how to communicate his feelings without writing them down. And Alex, Alex who talked a lot, Alex who’s brain always had a story he wanted Henry to know, how could Alex want to be with someone like him? Being with Henry could only hurt him. Henry couldn’t let that happen. Alex was the sun, Henry was a black hole. He couldn’t let himself drown out Alex’s light with his darkness.

He's in the room

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

He wants what's only yours

Change “he” with “she” and this could perfectly talk about Henry’s fake dates with women.

(To be more specific, the woman he went in a fake date in January after kissing Alex in new year’s).

Clover blooms in the fields

Clover is associated with luck. The fields could be their relationship, their surroundings.

Ellen won, they were out and accepted (even if they were outed), they were moving to New York, Henry’s shelters, June’s book, Philip trying, Catherine healing.

Spring breaks loose, the time is near

What would he do if he found us out?

Crescent moon, coast is clear

“What would he do if he founds us out?” That one is obvious.

“Coast is clear” checking to see if there’s someone around, because people can’t know.

Spring breaks loose, but so does fear

They started their “friends with benefits” thing in February, by March (spring) they were together. Paris happened, the e-mails happened, the karaoke happened, all in spring (not only March, just spring). Were they dating? Was Henry just hoping? Henry was scared, scared of misunderstanding Alex’s signals and scared of being caught.

He's gonna burn this house to the ground

That’s following “what would he do if he found us out”. The description of the ambience surrounding them was to let the reader/listener have an idea of what was happening. It also mixed the description of the world surrounding them at that moment (crescent moon, springs breaks loose) with their own feelings (coast is clear, but so does fear.)

“He’s gonna burn this house to the ground” House. “My house of stone, your ivy grows” This could perfectly mean Henry or their relationship. If they were found out the house would be burnt down. Being found out by Richards made their house be burnt down (the e-mails leaked). Being found out by Mary (and like, the whole world, but we’re talking about Mary rn) burnt Henry’s house down. Being found out by Richard’s hurt them both, but Mary only hurt Henry. She only had the power to hurt Henry, after manipulating him for so long. She only burnt him down.

How's one to know?

Henry from last year could have never imagined that happening. Henry from last year never imagined he would be dating/hooking up with Alex.

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

On begged and borrowed time

This one is pretty obvious, but

“Live and die” Henry’s alone moments with Alex killed him yet they made him feel alive. Henry thought Alex didn’t love him, than those moments meant the world to Henry and nothing to Alex, they killed him, yet Alex’s touch on his skin brought him back to life each time.

So tell me to run

Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

asdfghjkljljlkgjl

I have so many Henry feelings regarding this line omg.

“Run”

Run has different meanings here.

1-Run as in run away from Alex (lake house).

2-Run as in run away with Alex (brownstone).

In the first, he ran away from him and his feelings, believing it was for the better.

“Watch what we’ll become” With their statuses and the secrecy and all than Henry was, it would never have ended well anyway. It was better if Henry just left beforehand, trying to save Alex from entering the mess than was Henry’s life.

In the second, run away with him to New York, to live together. He ran away from the palace, from the abuse.

“Watch what we’ll become” (again, but now regarding the second meaning of run) if Henry didn’t ran away, and stayed in the palace, even if they were out, it might have been too complicated too. Henry would be stuck with a royal life he didn’t want, and by addition,Alex would also be stuck with a royal life he didn’t want. Only by running away Henry could find freedom.

“Dare” this could also be Kensington Alex and Henry. Alex daring to continue their relationship, even if Henry was scared and convinced it could never be. “You’re brave, I could use some of that” Henry ran, and Alex dared to follow, and even if Henry told him to leave that night (watch what we’ll become) he would have dared to sit and watch it happen.

And drink my husband's wine

This could be Henry being scared than Alex being with him made him began to live a (royal) life he didn’t want. “Drink my husband’s wine” Live my family’s life.

So yeah, it's a fire

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark

And you started it

You started it

Alex’s emotions being related to fire (I made a whole post about the symbolism of fire and water in Alex and Henry’s relationship)

A blaze in the dark. A light in the dark. Their relationship/Alex being a light in Henry’s life.

So yeah, it's a war

It's the goddamn fight of my life

And you started it

You started it

This one is pretty obvious too

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white & royal blue #red white royal blue #alex and henry #henry and alex #rwrb alex #henry my love #prince henry of wales #henry mountchristen windsor #ivy taylor swift #evermore #rwrb henry

[lutawolf]

Hello Luta.

Ill try to be polite and keep my rant short but i cant promise anything.

First of all, im from Mexico so english is not my main language so please bear with me and my grammar wrong doings.

So let me give you a bit of context, i first encountered BDSM when i was a 16 yo (Im 20 yo now dw), it was through some fanfic and at that time i didnt really understood what was happening and i started searching a bit about it but i really didn't talk about it, it was like my big secret that i knew about this. Fast forward when i was around 18 i dont know how one night i ended up on BDSM advice reddit and i was so excited to tell my friends about my new discovery but they ignored me lol. So yeah after that i pretty much stopped searching and kept it on lock until KP. I remember that i was thrilled with Kinn and porsche relationship, i loved it and i told one of my friends that i wanted that type of dynamic but then Vegaspete happened and i was gone, the face on pete when Vegas was touching him before the kiss, yeah I want to be him so bad. So i dont even know how i ended up on your Tumblr but i read all your explanations one night and i was shaking in excitement, everything was so fucking clear. So yeah I started to search way more about it and finally understood what Subspace was and oh the way im craving to be able to experience it. So i kept searching and reading and got to the point where i can admit yeah im on the submissive side. Im sorry this is getting long i promise im almost finish. So im also watching LITA and let me tell you my personality is basically Sky BUT seeing rain this last episode was like seeing myself on my last relationship minus the part when Payu was so good and caring for him. When payu was telling him that he needed to focus on School, i wanted to cry because I need someone to tell me that and when i saw rain waiting for Payu for hours only to tell him that he did well, i understood him perfectly. So after seeing the episode i ran to your Tumblr and all of the things i was thinking about their dynamic were right and I came across your post about being a non sexual Dom with your friends and it also clicked for me the way i would always be a bit bratty with my friends but always always waiting for compliments and waiting for them to tell me what to do. So yeah i dont even know why i wanted to tell you all of this right now, i guess it's more of a thank you for making me see lots of things about myself. I dont think im ready to search for the BDSM here in Mexico, i find it pretty scary but at least now i know what is going on with me.

This was morea rant than a question, so im very sorry, just wanted to share.

Thank you so much for your analysis, they helped me a lot to understand and accept myself.

Hey Hey takhun!!!

For English being a second language, you did absolutely beautifully. I understood every bit of this and I appreciate you taking the time to write it in English. It clearly showcases how much of a caring individual you are and I adore you for it.

If you are more comfortable writing in Spanish then please feel free to just know it will take me a bit to translate it. I can read it a lot better than I can speak it though🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ My husband and my kids are all basically fluent, I don't know what's wrong with me. My brain literally goes BIRD BIRD BIRD SQUIRELL when I try to speak it. We went to Mexico this year and everyone talking to me and here is my family answering for me. All that to say I have mad respect for my bilingual peeps.

I remember you reading my stuff. I got notifications. I can always tell when people are really feeling it because suddenly all my D/s posts start getting likes. Trust me , I love it. Headspace is something but don't rush it, it takes the right person to not crash and burn. When you have the right person though, it's like you've hit another dimension.

I'm thrilled that you thought to run to my blog. That makes it worth staying up late to write the review. I really do appreciate the share. If I've helped even one person then it means the world to me. Thank you 💜💜💜

[laceratedlamiaceae]

wait, what made izzy sympathetic and relatable in season 1?

(in regards to this post)

So obviously relatability is incredibly subjective but on top of his general aesthetic and mannerisms, I really relate to the way he's tied his entire identity to his job (I've thankfully gotten over that but seeing him brings me right back to when I was a 'good student' and nothing else). I also see way too much of myself in his fear of expressing vulnerability (I'm working on a post about that right now but I don't think it's that hard to see in him). Most of all, "being surrounded by happy people with meaningful relationships while you're sitting there miserable and alone and deep down you wish you could have what they have but that's too hard to admit so you suppress it and tell yourself that they're all pathetic and you're actually cool for not feeling anything at all" perfectly describes both (my interpretation of) Izzy in season 1 and me in high school. There's also this post I wrote, if you want more.

On the topic of Izzy being sympathetic, I don't understand how you can look at his face here and not feel at least a little bit bad for him.

He's trying so hard the entire season to maintain/go back to the way he had been living, and even though it was an objectively terrible way to live, change is hard and scary even when it's for the best. The only person in his life that he cares about (as far as we know) is completely ignoring him in favor of someone else--someone he believes is weak, pathetic, cowardly, and just generally terrible. (he's wrong, but having been deeply entrenched in toxic masculinity I can easily sympathize with the reasons he feels that way). There are also just a lot of little moments that really make me feel for him, like the way he reacts in episode 4 when Ed says "I need you here," or the way he says "He promised me" in episode 6, or his sad rambling to Spanish Jackie in episode 7. He's also constantly being embarrassed because pretty much everything he does backfires horribly, and it's hard to look at someone so sad and pathetic and not feel bad for them, even if most of the things he tries to do are wrong (it also helps that I understand and relate to the reasons he does all those things).

That's why I find him sympathetic, at least. Other people have probably written better, more in-depth explanations but this is what I've got.

#ofmd #izzy hands #ofmd meta #(kind of) #asks

[kitsunesfandomtime]

His escape from hell - Ch 1

Characters: Yoichi Shigaraki, Second One for all User, Third One for all user

Warnings: Hallucination, truama response, and Yoichi just a bit frazzled.

Summary: Sequel to Treasure Vault. Yoichi has escaped the vault with the help of these rebel forces but he is still suffering the truama and effects of the vault. He refuses to let that stop him, one way or another even if no one on his side. He has a goal he wishes to achieve.

Yoichi had escaped his prison and it was supposed to be the start of a new life. The beginning of his story of finally becoming a hero despite what his brother says.

He was more than happy to tell the rebels everything they wished to hear. They fed him, they clothed him in something other than slacks and even were kind enough to give him a doctor. When he wasn't a mess it was only natural that he wanted to help they were even saying he could join the fight if he trained.

They were a group that was angry at the lack of government action against All for One instead claiming he doesn't exist. Just random groups that weren't at all related to each other all because the leader was hiding in the shadows or possibly too afraid to admit someone that can gather so much power in one person existed.

So Yoichi learned that the government would rather cover up and hide All-for-One existence. They were trying to bury his brother but as a result, it allowed people to get hurt in the crossfire constantly. It left a bad taste in his mouth unsure if he should be more repulsed at the government for their indifference or his brother for not backing down.

He could understand how a rebel group unaffiliated with either could form. Though they didn't tell him everything as it seemed, they had different intentions when they broke into the base. There was still distrust and they hadn't even told him their names. It was a chance to connect with them.

So why...?

"Ah...." his voice seemed to crack when they asked for his brother's name. A strong feeling of dread hit him as if suddenly everything had become real.

That these men he called heroes were in fact after his brother's life for all the terrible crimes he had picked. They looked at him puzzled at his reaction but his hero seemed kind enough to move on.

"How about your brothers main location...?"

Another thing but this time one he doesn't know. A strong sense of helplessness at the fact he has no idea how to help. That if he could have given at least something maybe they wouldn't feel like he was a waste.

The one who extended his hand to him stared intently waiting for him to tell them just as eagerly as he had his name. The weapon at his side gleamed reminding Yoichi of one thing he tended to ignore.

These men likely wanted his brother dead.

They told him how many atrocities his brother had committed and how the government did nothing. How their goal was to stop any more victims from being made by this power-hungry man.

They were honest. They didn't claim the title of heroes even if saved Yoichi out of the goodness of their hearts they exposed the blood on their hands.

"I'm sorry," Yoichi can't provide them with anything despite how much they were risking to help him. He was useless to them. Nothing more than a liability just like his brother always acted like he was, "I don't know."

The man besides his savior let out a loud frustrated groan. Yoichi honestly agreed feeling frustration and annoyance at himself as well.

"Are you SERIOUS? Nothing? Nada?" His hands dramatically gesture toward Yoichi as he looks at the head of the rebel command, "What are we suppose to tell the others? They will definitely be recognizing him and they are going to throw a fuss."

The white-haired male can't deny that. Even though Yoichi was grateful to be saved he hasn't done anything.

"I promise I can help! I will fight for your cause I am against my brother," Yoichi was quick to interject wanting to make it clear that he wasn't useless and can still contribute.

He couldn't bring himself to say his own brother's name. As if saying it would make this reality more real that his brother was right about joining those that 'wish him dead'.

Even though his brother was the reason he went this far! If his brother just stopped no one would be here in this situation!

"I really don't know anything else," Yoichi's voice was firm yet uneasy unlike when talking to his brother he didn't know how they might take this.

He wasn't on his brother's side maybe at first had thought it was good. But he now knows it was a lie that he refused to be a part of still he expected more contempt. More harsh words and interrogation.

Unconsciously he looks over at the man who reached out his hand to him. He wasn't much of a talker though he had been quite clear that Yoichi wasn't to be harmed. Saying he's as much of a victim as anyone else under AFO.

"Come on we need something. The other guys aren't going to believe you are on our side if don't say anything," the ponytailed man sighs as though it was clear he was losing faith.

His hero finally spoke up in that calm and stern tone, "He was locked in a vault for who knows how long. You can't expect him to say anything after that even if he did hate the man."

"I don't hate him!" It was a knee-jerk response. Standing on his feet as his hands slam on the table, "He's an asshole, and a villain that he needs to be stopped but I don't hate him!"

Liar.

His body was shaking as the two stared at him like he was insane. Yoichi then realized how he must sound, not hating the man that literally locked him away from the world while destroying his sanity.

"I-I'm sorry. It just... This is a lot," Yoichi moves his hand through his hair feeling like an idiot.

"...Are you guys going to use me as a hostage? Make deals with him?" Yoichi mutters softly feeling uneasy.

The two glanced at each other then his 'hero' gets up and walks over to his side to place a hand on his shoulder. Their expressions were of concern almost worried even which he hoped didn't mean they had been considering it.

"You should go rest we won't ask you about your brother anymore. We really appreciate you talking to us and don't worry we know you are genuine," the interrogator seemed to have softened his stance looking at him with something akin to pity.

...Even though Yoichi wished it why did it feel like he shouldn't be treated so kindly? Able to feel himself about to shout about how they can't just trust him when they don't know him. "You-"

"Go rest, Shigaraki-san. You need it if you want to get better," his hero stopped him with a firm voice as if somehow able to know exactly what he was about to say. Cutting him off before could end up making the conversation worst.

There was no arguing with them. Slowly he leaves the room but he couldn't help but stop just outside the door. Leaning against it after closing as he felt like he needed to hear them.

"He really got fucked up by his brother huh?" It's the second in command, "Like yikes talk about stockholm, family or not I would be running for the hills. Man was basically skin and boneswhen we saw him! Even if we done some terrible stuff even I couldn't bring myself to shoot someone on death's door even if was the plan."

Yoichi feels his heart drop learning that the original intention was to kill wasn't a surprise. Still remembering the weapon pointed out his face staring down the barrel as his 'hero' had been moments from pulling the trigger.

And yet it never came. Instead, that weapon lowered and held a hand out to him despite knowing exactly who he was. In their eyes, it likely really was just childish and nativity to be unwilling to hate his brother despite everything he has done. Especially since his brother has done so many things that crossed the line. His big brother was bad but it because...

"We don't know their relationship prior to him being trapped but we know his name and he is sincere. We will just have to convince the others he deserves to be here and help him out," his hero was kind. "If he wants to help, he is allowed too."

Yoichi takes a sharp breath as his chest tightens knowing he is being a burden unable to trust them it is only natural no one would.

He needs to make himself useful. He needs to make sure to eat and get stronger with the stockpile quirk he should get strong. He just needs to train.

...He can't listen to any more of this.

With this in mind, Yoichi straightened himself up feeling a surge of determination. Returning to his room he was going to rest and make sure that he was ready in the morning to eat and possibly train.

And then kill me?

That voice keeps plaguing him!

Despite leaving that vault he could still hear the whispers of his brother always in the corner of his eyes. Watching and looking at him with pity or amusement.

"You're not there," Yoichi whispers mostly to himself as he returns to the room his heroes were so kind as to give him. Least anyone sees him talk to these hallucinations that have not left him since entering this rebel camp.

He walks toward his room as he suddenly feels like everything was too loud. His hands moved over his ears as he wanted to turn back and ask why they weren't pressing harder. Why aren't they using him like he expected? Why are they being NICE!?

Seriously, do you believe they actually care about you? It's called buttering you up

Hiding in the room at first sight he slams the door to finally look at the assailant out of his mind. "Shut up! You aren't here, did you steal some telepathy quirk!?"

God he hopes not. He didn't want that to be real. He doesn't want it to be because of him that everyone here dies... But the figure that looks like his brother just hums.

The whole place felt different. Dark, gloomy yet so very very real just like that vault as if was still trapped there.

"Who knows," his brother feels... too real. Yet also not at the same time slowly looking around with a lazy smile. It felt... Like this was a version of his brother from long ago his presence wasn't as terrifying. So familiar-

"Get out of my head!" Yoichi shouts and like that suddenly he was back in his room feeling his chest aching while his vision was blurred. Feeling almost shaky knowing the doctor told him his condition was bad.

He takes a heavy breath as he stumbles to his bed barely able to resist throwing himself upon it. Tears in his eyes as he slowly realized he had lost his mind every part of his body ached and hurt. Wondering if it was even ok to relax knowing so many others might die.

He has to ignore that voice.

His brother wasn't there. He was going to make sure his hero didn't regret taking him in.

He was going to escape this hell of his brothers making one way or another. He will become a hero.

#yoly's fanfics #all for one bnha #all for one mha #yoichi shigaraki #Second One for all user #third one for all user #his escape from hell

[was-it-really-worth-it]

Game 214 - Long Gone Days by Camila Gormaz

I picked up this game through the itch.io Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality. I chose to donate 10 dollars, and I found about 153 games in the bundle that I was actually interested in. So, the consideration for this game will be if it was worth the 7 cents (rounded up) that I paid for it and the hours that I played it for. The bundle has since ended, but I still encourage you to make a donation to the organizations listed here.

What did I think it was at first? This was supposed to be one of the gems in the Racial Justice and Equality bundle. I do like a really good RPG, so I'm excited to check it out!

How was the character creator? None, you play as a fixed squad of characters. You can change their equipment, but you only control Rourke's dialogue.

How was the game? Honestly, there are some really great elements in Long Gone Days! The pixel art and anime-style character drawings are both really slick and make the game feel polished. The soundtrack was great as well!

You play as Rourke, a soldier trained in a top secret facility. Pretty quickly, the world is revealed to not quite be what it seems, and Rourke and his friends have to escape from the army and find their way to safety.

It's a pretty typical RPG, but the modern setting is nice and different. I also enjoyed the fact that the language barrier Rourke has with most people was a challenge throughout the game and required him to ally with a variety of people.

The combat and skills in the game are very simple (though I'm not sure how we're knocking people unconscious by shooting them with our guns?)

The highlight of the game is the plot - a few of the twists really surprised me and kept me engaged.

What did I not love? I've already shared my distaste for a demo in a bundle, so I'll just link it here and we can ignore that point.

My biggest complaint is that the pacing here is very slow. The plot events all feel very urgent, but Rourke is quite a slow walker and it takes a while to figure out where you're going. There are also a lot of side quests, but it's hard to make yourself focus on them when people are in danger of dying. There also aren't a lot of signposting-type directions for where you need to go - I actually stopped playing because I reached a point where i had no clue where to go next.

Combat uses a morale system instead of mana, but it felt like it discouraged you from using your abilities. Your characters would get sad from using their special moves which feels bad - I almost never used them because I liked my friends and wanted them to be happy. Except my medic - he was always grumpy.

At 4 hours and 7 cents, was it really worth it? I think Long Gone Days has a lot of promise! Wait for the final release, though - I hope they fix some of my issues.

#long gone days #itch.io racial justice bundle #camila gormaz #c reviews #gaming

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Twenty Nine

Piscis Promittens

Pairing: Haikyuu!! x Fem!Reader

previous | next | 2099

After running through the woods, you eventually find Kuroo setting up his fishing equipment next to Tsukishima's memorial. Astute as ever, he hears you running up behind him and turns around to face you.

"Care to join while you're here?" he asks as he holds out a second fishing rod.

"Thought you'd never ask," you smile as you slowly walk up to him. "You sure it's alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I feel a lot better now thanks to Kenma. He's a really good friend," he smiles softly. "Ya know, if I'm the next one to go, look out for Kenma for me, will ya?"

"Geez, don't talk like that," you shake your head as you reach into his makeshift tackle box. "As long as I'm around, there's no way I'm letting anything happen to you."

Kuroo nods quietly. You only find it a bit off-putting because it clashes with his outgoing personality. You wish he'd make some silly joke to lighten the mood, but when he doesn't, chains of anxiety and stress wrap around your body until you feel as though you might pass out. You've already lost one person, you can't even fathom the idea of losing anyone else.

"Wipe the tears from your eyes, Y/N," he shakes his head. "I'm just thankful I've made it this far."

You pause just as you impale the bait on the hook. That's when Kuroo's eyes glance to the side as he watches all positivity drain from your body.

"He loved you, ya know," he tells you. "Every time we came out here you're all he'd talk about."

At his words, you're not really sure of what to say. I mean, what are you supposed to say to that after he was probably murdered by one of your friends? Kuroo watches how you continue to ignore his gaze as you throw your link into the lake and stare out waiting for a bite.

"Did you ever feel the same?" he then asks nosily as he pierces a worm with his hook.

"I don't know," you admit sadly with a sigh. "I know that it hurts he's gone and I miss him with all my heart, but I don't know how I truly felt. How can I when we live in this fucked up mess?"

"Can't always blame everything on the 'fucked up' world we're living in. It is our reality now, after all," he explains.

"Yeah, thanks for that, mom," you smile softly as you nudge him in the side. Kuroo chuckles as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you in close to him.

"I know what I said before about me dying sounds super fucking morbid, but I swear on my life, Y/N, that as long as I'm around, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

"Then you better not plan on going anywhere either 'cause if you did, that'd be the worst thing I could think of," you admit.

Kuroo nods in agreement. "I don't plan on leaving any time soon. Besides, we've got to get to the bottom of this whole Tsukishima business."

"Speaking of that," you chime in, "Atsumu said something interesting to me just before I came down here..."

"Something incriminating?" he asks a bit too hopefully.

"No, nothing like that. But he said that we can't rule anybody out," you begin to explain.

"Well, of course not. Everybody who was there is a suspect at this point," he states the obvious as he casts his line.

"I know, but that's not what I mean. He made a point that we can't be certain of Lev, Alisa, Yachi, or even Kenma's whereabouts at the scene of the crime," you spell out. 

"Kenma wouldn't-"

"But can you prove that with one hundred percent certainty? He could have followed us!" you interrupt.

"Y/N, you don't understand. Kenma isn't like that at all," he shakes his head.

"Well from my perspective, I don't think any of us would do it but it seems as though we're all dead set on it being a murder so it's got to be someone!" you remind him.

"It really gets on my nerves how smart you are," he shakes his head once more as he smiles over at you.

"I'm only being logical like everybody else. It's nothing special. I just don't get all angry and try to fight people like someone else..."

"I'd apologize, only I wouldn't want to say sorry just for him to turn around and admit it was him sometime down the road," he tells you as something tugs on the end of his line. You watch as he reels in an odd-looking fish you've never seen before.

"What the hell is that?" you laugh at its strange pink color as though you could see straight through it.

"Tsukki and I called it a promitto," he smiles to himself. "It's Latin for promise. We came up with it 'cause the fish gives us the nutrition we need to see another day, like a promise we can keep on living."

"I've never seen one like it before," you say as you watch the fish wriggle against the hook.

"Don't you know?" he smirks as he looks over at you. "That's because all promises are different."

"Kinda like snowflakes," you laugh.

"Exactly like that."

Just then, you feel a tug on your line. You begin to reel in your fish until finally, it pops out of the water, wriggling just like Kuroo's. It looks somewhat similar to the other, but a bit bigger and more transparent looking."

"Good catch," he chuckles as he watches you struggle to finish reeling it in. "I think you win. I'm gonna toss mine back in. Don't want them all going extinct, do we? Then there'd be no promittos left."

previous | next | 2099

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[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY EIGHTY-SIX

Valentine's Day is coming up. Another year celebrating this holiday single. Kinda in limbo this time around. Not feeling any particular way about it. Lots of times though, single friends will hit me up wondering what I'm doing. I tend to keep myself busy.

I think it's a part of being human to want to be with someone special on February 14th. Nothing wrong with it! But sometimes, I notice people may not know what to do with themselves if the loneliness and sadness reaches a point where it's overwhelming. Not passing judgment, "takes one to know one."

I get it. Definitely been there before! You feel there is nothing in life and you also feel there is nothing in life to look forward to. Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness linger around you like a vulture waiting to feed. You desperately cry out to the Universe for a sign that you're not forgotten, then you're met with silence and still with no sign to be seen, or heard, or felt. And so, in the midst of breaking down and feeling worthless and unwanted, you have to somehow summon up the strength to comfort yourself alone. Believe me, I get it.

That being said, I wanted to share a list of things to get into if this holiday is gonna be rough or has the potential to be.

1.) Who says you have to celebrate at all? Ignore it, or blow it off purposely doing something else or even nothing. Not a federal holiday where everything gets closed down, life can continue on as normal on this day. It will be what you make it.

2.) If you really want a Valentine, it is not limited to dates and significant others. Your kids, friends, relatives, pets, and coworkers can all serve as examples. If you feel there isn't anyone or everyone is busy, gift a random Valentine to someone you know could use some kindness. A good deed like that will make you feel fulfilled.

3.) Since we're discussing different ways to go about Valentine's, consider starting a new tradition in your household. Do whatever ya like, include whoever ya want.

4.) Hobbies! Sharpening skills! Get started on something new or restart something you've been neglecting. The sense of accomplishment will help.

5.) Shows and movies, and might I suggest two key factors: (1.) Binge, especially if it's something you love or something you need to catch up on. (2.) "Laughter is medicine for the soul," as they say. Watch comedy!

6.) Make a plan for manifestation. Just because you're currently single, doesn't mean you can't plan for the future. Lots of people decide what kind of home or outfit they want before actually getting one. Same process here. Work on getting a clear vision of the type of relationship you want to have if you feel making a plan for the future won't make you feel bad or worse.

7.) If all else fails and you can't find a Valentine, I know a place where you can look and it's always guaranteed that you'll find one there. The mirror! Last time I checked, you're a person too. Pamper yourself! Spoil yourself! I'm single and I just dropped $45 on some ginormous chocolate-covered strawberries. FTW!

8.) Music is life baby! I can't even begin to describe all the ways music has gotten me through some very hard times. Make yourself a playlist to listen to. Any kind of playlist you want! You can listen in while relaxing, cleaning, bathing, studying, etc.

9.) Dive into your spirituality or your religion. I don't care what you believe in. It will be the most comforting and most uplifting distraction from loneliness ever. You won't feel so alone anymore, promise.

10.) Cook! Blowing off the holiday, trying to celebrate it, I couldn't care less. Cooking can soothe stress and build self-esteem in many individuals. Plus, cooking a healthy meal in itself can be good for your mental health as foods like chicken, fish, and eggs have lean proteins to help with general functioning of the brain and nervous system. In addition, foods like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables can offer some mood-boosting doses of serotonin and dopamine.

11.) Exercise: the most underused and underestimated anti-depressant ever! While the exact link between exercise and depression is actually still being investigated, the physical activity will ease the symptoms and have you feeling better in no time. And I think I remember being told a while back that exercise tends to hit reward receptors in the brain. Makes sense because that's how it feels. It feels good and ya wanna keep going!

12.) Exploring areas of town that are new to you will replace the lonely feelings with curiosity and a sense of adventure. Look up the history of the property you're on and take photos!

13.) Offer to pick up a work shift or babysit for a couple that wants to go out. If you don't wanna celebrate, all well and fine, but you can still take advantage of the opportunity to make some extra cash.

14.) Utilize coping skills. Maybe it isn't just a matter of not finding a date or being single. Maybe at the heart of it all is trauma or social anxiety disorder. Life isn't always easy for those of us dealing with those types of things. Coping skills and reaching out will help tremendously.

I conclude with memes that have tips about how to release happy chemicals in the brain to give people more ideas of how to go about their Valentine's Day more positively and productively despite being single.

Best of luck to all of us out there. And may those of us who have never been loved right find happiness someday. 💗

More thoughts later.

#Valentines Day #Single on Valentines Day #Love is everywhere because it's within you

[itsalwayswellattheworldsend]

Let's Talk about the Lady

The Lady is initially presented as this perfect, beautiful paragon, and Ralph very much believes that. The Lady downplays her own perfection, talking about how she's done bad things (and she seems to be pretty humble). Richard proposes that she was very wise and intentionally set things up for Ralph, knowing that they would not be together forever.

My current opinion is that the Lady and Ralph have a LOT in common, and not in a good way. Ralph is immature and unreliable, having made promises, broken them, run away from home, ignored all the good advice people gave him, and then he ran off with a beautiful woman he had just met.

The Lady may be beautiful and wise, but she's not much better. I think that (like Ralph) she has a good heart, but doesn't think things through. I mean, she abandoned the Kingdom of the Tower without setting up any kind of replacement, which resulted in the kingdom's total collapse. She agreed to marry the Knight of the Sun just so he'd stop bugging her, though I think she probably planned to escape when she had the opportunity. After Ralph saved her from the men of the Burg, she went into the city in disguise (and later told Ralph how exciting and dangerous it was). She spent decades promising the Fellowship of the Dry Tree that she would join up with them again, but had not real intentions of doing that.

The Lady ultimately died because she overestimated her own intelligence, or underestimated the Knight of the Sun's. She could have sent Silverfax to Hampton, or taken him with them when they fled, but she decided to do a trick to lead the Knight of the Sun off-course, and that failed and she was killed for it.

One thing that sticks out to me as that the Knight of the Sun didn't use some secret trick or ploy. It's not like the Lady had this great plan but tragically forgot to account for something, or was surprised by a twist of fate. She tried to trick him and it didn't work. I don't know if I'm doing a good job of explaining it... he didn't win because he did anything special, he won because the Lady made a mistake, and I think that means something.

I don't know what Morris' view of the Lady is. As with many things in this story, we get conflicting evidence of things. I think the narrative mostly sees the Lady as she saw herself (kind, beautiful, wise, complicated), but I think there's also evidence to suggest that my view is valid.

I think that the Lady probably would have gotten bored with Ralph eventually (as Richard sort of theorized). Like Ralph, she was unreliable and kind of foolish. We're told that she had a lot of men wait for her at the Castle of Abundance. I don't think she knew she and Ralph weren't going to last, I don't think she planned for Ralph to someday go find Dorothea. I think she did what she wanted in the moment, without always thinking about consequences.

Personally, I speculate that this sort of immaturity came back to her after drinking from the Well. She was young again and felt invincible, and was suddenly something more than all the people around her.

The Lady is not perfect... but I also don't think she's intended to be perfect. Much of what we see of her is colored by Ralph's infatuation, but there's plenty of evidence (even given by the Lady herself) that she's not all that special. She's a weird heroine for the time-period, seemingly perfect at first glance, but when you get to know her she's been married twice before (at least), destroyed a nation, hangs out with some really rough people (the Fellowship of the Dry Tree is not a bunch of Robin Hoods, and their leader is pretty bloodthirsty; remember that Dorothea showed up to ask a few questions and was thrown in a dungeon to await execution), and just all-around seem too concerned with any of the complicated things going on.

I don't think she was stupid, I just think she was careless.

I think she and Ralph are a lot alike, which makes them a good match to some degree, but I feel like most people agree that relationships are best with complementary personalities, not when the people get along because they have all the same flaws. In that way, she was right: Dorothea is a better match for Ralph than she was.

#the well at the world's end #william morris #the well - miscellaneous