#<- these fuckers

[mistakes-have-been-made]

When I say "I need them to be thrown at a wall" I mean in the most violent way possible, like I need that thing to be incinerate. I NEED to have them be stomped on. I need to kiss them like there's no tomorrow but at the same time I need to fucking upper cut that bitch. I need to romance them but also throw that asshole into therapy. When I say I hate them, I love them but I hate them even more. I need to bite that thing like a chew toy. Do you see, do you see how much I need them to be real?

#got a lil silly #this is directed to SO many characters #specifically the ones w the name John #which one? i dunno #well i do but #john juniper #john ward #jonathan sims #<- these fuckers #i NEED them #im going to explode #do i tag the fandoms???? idk #don't want to clog the fandom tags #anyways biting them <3 #EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT JOHN WATSON OMG IM SUCH AN IDIOT 💀💀 #I MEANT TO PUT HIM IN THERE BUT I FORGOT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF #FORGIVE ME PLS WATSON (any adaptation rlly bc all john watsons r so silly) FANS :( #john watson #<- what a guy

[victusinveritas]

#biblically accurate angel #be more afraid #monster fucker #comic

[staffs-secret-blog]

Next april fools we're only showing people you've blocked on the dashboard

#original post #have fun with the discourse and pornbots fuckers

[saveskum]

The lovely shapes and colors of our companion's eyes.

#bg3 astarion #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 gale #bg3 karlach #bg3 #my gifs #getting these fuckers not to wriggle was hell but it was also worth it #the attention to detail on these faces are insane #you can pick our character traits just by looking at wrinkles or spots #luv it

[sparkburst]

It’s been 5 years since I got this card from a hibachi chef

#idk where I put it so I guess I’m a dumb fucker forever

[dogsmouth]

enough about the eroticism of cannibalism what about the eroticism of parasitism. this is our body because i live in you.

#txt #i know there are venom fuckers on here

[corvigae]

I keep having to tear down extremely predatory/misleading Scien.tology flyers in my school's art building. This is the third fucking time I've ripped the fuckers up and I'm getting Real Fucking Tired of it.

#they're masquerading as a mental helth help line it's disgusting #the ONLY clue that it's a fucking cult is the tiny print that says 'copyright hubbard dianetics' #personal grumblings #i'm fucking graduating i don't give a fuck abt appearing nice or accepting #i see those fuckers i shred then

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

#not whump #more real life ramblings let’s gooooo #EDIT genuinely why is THIS the post that took off #I have muted notifications for this thing mate I didn’t even double check my spelling #and you fuckers ran with it #good for you but also why

[the-birth-of-art]

#gävle goat #gävlebocken #gavle goat #tis the season to burn this fucker to the ground

[ozzgin]

Yandere! House Monster x Reader

Listen, I woke up in cold sweat at 4am with a vision: you and your stereotypically unavailable gamer boyfriend have moved into a new house. You find out very soon it's not as empty as you had assumed, but your worries fall on deaf ears. The tentacle monster lurking in dark corners just wants to make sure you're not lonely.

[Second Part]

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance (mildly NSFW)

You didn't notice anything strange at first. Maybe it was considering its prey. You'd found a cheap, old house available for rent, and your boyfriend couldn't refuse the extra space for his mancave.

Oh, you poor thing. It watched your lonely evenings, your empty bed at night, your futile attempts to spend more time with your beloved partner. It had originally planned to devour your souls and await the next foolish mortals to enter its realm, but seeing your pitiful state prompted a change of heart. Metaphorical heart, of course.

It started gradually: testing the waters, or what you'd call a courting attempt. Doors opening by themselves, disembodied eyes lovingly gazing at you from the nearby walls. Dark tendrils making their way out of the shadows, just to announce its presence.

"I think this place might be cursed", you told your boyfriend one evening. "I've been stalked by amorphous silhouettes of blight and terror, and they whisper ancient blasphemies to me at night." He let out a worried shout and slapped the desk. "That's cool, babe. I'm kind of losing right now, though, so perhaps give me a minute?"

One night you were awakened from your slumber by a warm touch sliding across your body. You smiled into your pillow as the cheeky hands made their way down, fondling your curves and hungrily searching for your sensitive areas. You let out a soft moan, enjoying the moment, until you heard your boyfriend yell from the other room. Your eyes shot open.

The hands lewdly groping your privates were, in fact, tentacles. Your first reaction was to gasp, but you were quickly silenced by another slippery appendage pressing against your lips. Shh, shh. Allow the creature to do its thing, dear. Surely enough, within minutes you were a drooling mess, holding onto the sheets for dear life.

"You've been in a good mood lately", you boyfriend remarks, idly scrolling on his phone and crunching on his breakfast cereal. You ponder if you should tell him you've been fucked relentlessly by a monstrous creature inhabiting your new home. You glance at the counter and smirk, remembering how you just had to wipe your wet mess from it a few hours ago. "Keep it that way, hun, I could get used to not being pestered every hour", the man jokes with a laugh.

Does it count as cheating if your affair partner isn't really human? Although, you have to wonder if you're still dating to begin with. From the corner of your eye, you can discern faint movement above the young man, a shadow looming menacingly. The eldritch monster would not hesitate to tear your poor boyfriend apart if he tried to mess with its belonging.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere monster #yandere monster x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #monster x reader #monster x human #monster boyfriend #tentacle monster #monster smut #terato #teratophillia #monster fucker

[angrydino42-and-avathecannibal]

*me working in the insides of a machine* shush, I need to focus, this is very intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intricate.

#objectum #objectum sexuality #techum #technophilia #computer love #machine fucker #mechanophilia #robot fucker #robosexual #robophilia #robot lover #the eroticism of the machine

[macleod]

#trump #politics #I don't usually do this style of news but here we are #use this image anytime someone brings up that fuckers name #mine

[nikxation]

PSA, there's a really nasty Discord scam going around rn. If one of your friends DMs you, starting off with a simple "hello" "how are you", may even joke around a little, and then starts asking you to look at a game/project they're working on, don't click the link, don't download anything. If you can reach that friend through non-Discord means, reach out and let them know they got hacked.

One of my friends said the link takes them to a very convincing video game page that has in-game screenshots and stuff, and then gives you an option to download a playtest zip file or something. That download exploits a weakness Discord apparently has for password protected zip files and steals your Discord log-in and changes your account info to the scammer's account info. Two of my friends lost their accounts. Be careful.

#discord #discord messaging #psa #my rambles #important #i got the message and called the fucker out and got immediately blocked #it's legit... please be careful y'all...

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)

but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.

i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.

but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white

#reblog this you fuckers. im tired of you people saying you care about us. about my sisters and then ignore us like we never existed #gonna have to put abuncha these tags here again too otherwise literally nobody will see. i got abuncha new followers for that post #yall better Do Something other than performative bullshit for once #whatever. whatever. #predstrogen #photomatt #transgender #trans rights #black trans lives matter #black trans women #carhammerexplosionmatt

[rs-hawk]

Your Siren Boyfriend eventually tricking you into the water after weeks of just chatting to you on the docks. He never sings or tries to convince you to come in. He sits in the water, his arms propping him up on the low dock so you two can talk. His eyes dark as a trench, and you can’t help but worry about all the light on the surface hurting him. Even at night, it’s still brighter than where he’s from.

The night you bring him sunglasses is when he knows you’re going to be his mate. He feigns confusion and asks how to put them on. You giggle and lean forward, setting them on his face. He takes that moment to grab your wrists, yanking you into the salt water. You barely manage to catch a breath before hitting the water, not that it matters because as soon as he kisses you, you suddenly can breathe.

You want to be angry at him, but he looks so happy. He starts clicking and chirping, something he hasn’t done in a few weeks since he realized you can’t understand him. It must be like when you gets excited and revert to your mother tongue.

His shark teeth gently nip at you neck as he tugs at your clothes, encouraging you to slip out of your swimsuit. You know that you shouldn’t. This isn’t right. But you can’t help yourself. The feeling of your Siren slipping inside of you makes you whimper. He pushes you against the shifting sand of the ocean floor, slamming into you roughly. You can’t help the moans and sounds that escape your mouth. Thank God you can breathe under water now because there’s no way you could have contained yourself.

When he’s done, he eases back, burying his face between your trembling legs. His fat tongue encourages you to finish, and you do rather quickly. Once he’s satisfied, his kisses make their way back up to your lips.

“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

#fantasy romance #monster lover #smut #monster fuqqer #monster fudger #monster fluff #monster fucker #monster romance #monster boyfriend #monster bf #fantasy smut #writers on tumblr #writing #author #queer writers #female writers #monster kink #monster k!nk

[eclipseshotel]

#just let me love you #let’s talk about this #yautja #monster fucker