#I MEANT TO PUT HIM IN THERE BUT I FORGOT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF

[mistakes-have-been-made]

When I say "I need them to be thrown at a wall" I mean in the most violent way possible, like I need that thing to be incinerate. I NEED to have them be stomped on. I need to kiss them like there's no tomorrow but at the same time I need to fucking upper cut that bitch. I need to romance them but also throw that asshole into therapy. When I say I hate them, I love them but I hate them even more. I need to bite that thing like a chew toy. Do you see, do you see how much I need them to be real?

#got a lil silly #this is directed to SO many characters #specifically the ones w the name John #which one? i dunno #well i do but #john juniper #john ward #jonathan sims #<- these fuckers #i NEED them #im going to explode #do i tag the fandoms???? idk #don't want to clog the fandom tags #anyways biting them <3 #EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT JOHN WATSON OMG IM SUCH AN IDIOT 💀💀 #I MEANT TO PUT HIM IN THERE BUT I FORGOT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF #FORGIVE ME PLS WATSON (any adaptation rlly bc all john watsons r so silly) FANS :( #john watson #<- what a guy

[emgavi]

I can't lose her (Gavi x reader)

Part 2 of Losing you slowly, hope it gives some of you closure from the last part.:)) 1,944 words

All you could hear around you was the busy life of the airport as you sat by your terminal for your flight. You were going to do this, you couldn’t believe it. Part of you was excited to go to New York City, but another part was thinking about what Gavi is doing now. By now you think he read your letter at your, well now his apartment. 

“Flight 309 to New York will be boarding in 5 minutes” 

Hearing the announcement I get my suitcase and head to the already forming long line near the entrance. Just as you stopped rolling your bag, you heard a voice call out behind you that sounded like your name. 

“y/n!” 

I turned around looking to the side of the people behind me to see… no… what is he doing here? There I see Gavi running towards me. Stunned at seeing him here especially since you didn’t know he would know you would be here at this time. 

“Gavi? What are you doing here?” i asked , puzzled as he came towards me.

Panting from running in, “i - i - I needed to see you. Y/n mi amor, i’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart i never meant to hurt you and not show up last night. I was texting you but I forgot to press send, that’s my fault completely. Everything. Please forgive m-”

You cut him off, feeling yourself start to grow angry again hearing him make more excuses, “Stop, Gavi, stop with the excuses, that’s all you ever give me. How hard is it to show respect in this relationship? I love you Gavi, i really do , which is why it is so hard to say goodbye even after all you’ve done.”

He looked at you with pleading eyes ‘i’ll be better, i’ll fix myself, please mi amor don’t leave me, I don’t want to lose you” he begged, reaching out to hold your hands but you pulled away before he could. Making him frown at your movements to distance yourself.

``Please Gavi, even if you did, how could I have full confidence that you won’t do it again?”

Gavi opened then closed his mouth, having an internal battle as you said that. Shaking his head , that’s when you notice tears fall from his eyes. You started to feel bad and wanted to comfort him but you were still upset so all you did was rubbed his shoulder.

“This is probably for the best, I bet you heard about my promotion, headquarters gavi, this is big and i’m sorry it had to end this way but I need to go.”

Gavi was about the response but then the announcer beat him to it, 

“Flight 309 to New York Gate will be closing soon”

He didn’t even realize that the rest of the people that once surrounded him were gone and in the plane, leaving only y/n and him outside. 

“I’ve got to go Gavi” you said as you started to back away.

Panicking again, he grabbed your hand softly, “por favor y/n, I don’t want you to leave like this, i - i don’t want to lose you, por favor give me another chance, what do i have to do to prove to you ??? i will do it , anything you say, please y/n” he said more tears falling from his face.

Struggling on the inside seeing him fall apart in front of you,  It makes you give in to the need to hold him. You go and hug him, and once you do his arms hold you tight like you might disappear while he puts his face to your hair, cherishing the moment you are willingly giving him. One he fears will be the last.

You both stand there for a few seconds before you start to pull away, “i have to do this Gavi, there’s no other opportunity like it…… I’ve gotta go. “

You turn quickly and make your way to the gate but before you’re far you hear Gavi speak something behind you

“I love you”

Closing your eyes, fighting to stay strong, you didn’t turn back to him instead kept walking but in your head you said it back, “

I love you too”. 

T H R E E   M O N T H S   L A T E R .

In Barcelona Gavi was a wreck. He was basically on auto pilot and everybody could see how much the break up affected him, even the barcelona fc staff. He tried to send you text messages every once and a while to let you know he was still there, but you never replied. He so desperately wished he could go see you and fix things.

Pedri looked at his poor friend who was kicking poorly at an attempt to practice penalty kicks.

Xavi, his coach was also looking alongside him, sighing “ that kid really can’t get over it’ .

Pedri turned his head to his coach, “no…he won’t stop talking about her” 

His coach nodded, growing concern lingered in him as he watched his rising young star start to struggle both in the game and life. “Does she still talk to him?” Pedri shook his head. 

He thought for a while then called Gavi over. As Gavi walked over to his coach he asked, ‘si coach?” 

“I’ve been watching you, and you haven’t been looking like yourself out there” Xavi started 

Gavi looked down in disappointment as he heard those words 

His coach continued, “I remember being your age, all the dumb decsions I made that i regret to this day…I’ll only do this once but…. He hesitated 

“I can arrange for you some time where you can leave to go fix your problems, however when you return you’ll have to sit on the bench for at least 3 games. Do you accept it?”

Gavi looked at him surprised , he certainly did not expect to hear that from his coach and so did pedri, nodding his head quickly, “si claro que si, gracias , muchas gracias!” Gavi said going to give him a hug. 

“One condition, you better be in playing form when you return” he told the boy. 

Shaking his head as he headed to the exit of the field, already knowing where he’d been wanting to go for three months, he shouted out, “gracias!” before finally leaving the field. Running over to his car to go straight to his apartment and pack.

In NYC…

It’s been 3 months since you’ve left barcelona… since you left Gavi. In that time you were enjoying yourself in your new city minus the heavy workload and some rude employers. You were finally living one of your goals.

You hadn’t talked to Gavi during that whole time but he did try to contact you. Calling or leaving you texts saying he hoped that you were having a good day. It was clear that he still didn’t want to let you go and from your talks with Aurora, Gavi wasn’t giving up. 

It was the winter time here in NYC which meant your apartment was way colder than it was in barcelona at this time. Still early in the morning on your day off you decided to make some hot chocolate to warm you up a bit. Turning up the music you took your hot chocolate and sat on your comfy lounge chair. 

Right when you were in a comfortable position taking one sip from the mug, a loud knock to your door rang out. Annoyed, you sighed and placed your mug down to open the door. 

Who in the world is out at this hour in almost blizzard conditions??? You thought as you walked up. As you opened the door and saw who was there, your eyes went wide.

“H-hola , can i come i- in?”  

There standing in front of your footstep was Gavi. Shivering from the lack of layers needed for NY weather. Quickly feeling the cold air enter your house you ushered him inside. Which he was very happy about entering a warm room. 

“Gracias,” he said, warming up his hands. You saw that he had a suitcase with him, raising your eyebrows.

“How did you know where I lived?” you asked if the only person you ever told in barcelona was Auror,,, oh, i'm going to talk to her after this.

“I think you already know judging your face right now’ he said 

“Why are you here? Why come all this way?” 

“To be with you” he said promptly and you gave him a confused look. 

“You said before you left that you needed to leave for this opportunity, so you are here, then i am here” he said plainly, even more confused you asked him 

“But what about barcelona gavi, your dream??, don’t you still want to play football? I can’t let you throw that away ``I told him sternly, this was crazy.

““You were about to risk your career for me so I’m risking mine for you because I love you and your more important and I should’ve shown you that all of those times but I was selfish, and incredibly stupid. I want to fix the mess I made and be here with you.” he said getting closer to you.

You were stunned at this, all the anger at him disappearing and started to feel your love creep in again for the brown eyed boy. You knew how much football meant to him, and he was choosing you over that, “Gavi i …i don’t know what to say” 

“Say you’ll let me stay with you, i’ll even sleep on the couch” he said

Still not getting over the fact that he seriously left barcelona during it’s season, “this is a sweet gesture to show me but i can’t let you throw away your chance to play Gavi, have you ever considered his completely, aren't you in season right now?” 

He smiled at you rambling over the concern for this career. He grabbed your hands which you let him, ‘you are worth everything, i was a wreck without you y/n , when you left I didn’t know what to do with myself, if this is enough to prove to you that I love you and im serious that i’ll change then i’m right where i should be.”

Taken aback from his words, and him staring deep into your eyes was the moment you felt yourself lean into him, he did the same. Stopping inches before your lips met, you looked up at his eyes, “one more chance’ you whispered on his lips 

He smiled wide “I promise you won’t regret it” then he leaned forward and met your lips. Holding you tightly, hands at your waist while yours around his neck, he kissed you as if trying to show you how much he missed and loved you. 

When you pulled away you asked, “wait but what are you going to say to Barcelona when you don’t show up for practice?” 

He gave you a smirk and pulled you closer “don’t worry mi amor, I got xavi to cover for me, turns out there’s a really good rehab specialist here in New York that barcelona likes to send their injured players sometimes, i got at least 1 month”

You looked at him surprised at the actually well calculated plan, “well then, with that taken care of, I guess it’s time for….New York adventures with y/n and Gavi!” you said excitedly 

He laughed then looked at you with a glow in his eyes, “te amo y/n”

Te amo tambien Gavi”  leaning up to kiss him. 

#pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi blurb #football fanfic #spain football x reader #football imagines

[beestriker015]

Spider-Gwen x male s/o headcanons

Before getting together, Gwen had a huge crush on s/o, who she sits next to in her science class.

She was attracted to his bashful and sweet personality, and would blush every time he’d greet her before class began.

Gwen really wanted to confess to s/o, but one thing made her hesitant to do so : the fact that she’s Ghost Spider.

“If we were in a relationship, he’d be put in danger, and if anything happened to him, I’d never forgive myself. Besides, what if he didn’t like me being Ghost Spider? What if he broke up with me over that? I just….I wish things weren’t so complicated.”

She says in her mind and psychs herself out every time she gets the courage to ask s/o out.

Eventually though, the young heroine’s feelings for s/o overtake the worries in her teenage brain and leads her to confessing to him after school.

“S/o, I…really like you and uhhh…god I’m so bad at this. Would you like to go out with me this weekend?”

She asks him awkwardly with a glint of hope in her eyes as she waits for his answer.

“To be honest, I really like you too Gwen, I’d love to go out with you.”

Her crush responds with a smile and slight blush on his face.

At that moment, Gwen felt like she was on cloud nine.

“G-great! I know just the place we can go. I’ll pick you up at your house around 7 this Saturday.”

“It’s a date. I’ll be looking forward to it. See you later Gwen.”

He walks away, leaving Gwen by herself, who smiles like an idiot and fist bumps the air in excitement of going on a date with her crush.

“I can’t believe it, I’m going on a date with s/o! Woo!”

Just then, the reality of her being a hero sets in, which she completely forgot about for a moment.

“Ok Gwen, take a deep breath. You’re just going on a date with him, if it becomes something serious, then you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it. Until then, just be happy you’re gonna be going out with the guy you’ve been crushing on for a while.”

She quietly tells herself before grabbing her school bag and heading home.

When Saturday finally came around, Gwen got dressed for her date after a little encouragement from her friends MJ and Peter, and makes her way to s/o’s house to pick him up.

“Hey Gwen, you look b-beautiful.”

“S-so do you. U-umm, sorry! I m-meant to say that you look v-very…h-handsome.”

They both blush and stutter before Gwen cleared her throat and spoke up.

“A-are you ready to go?”

“Y-yeah, let’s go.”

With that, the two walked off and began their date.

Needless to say, their date went pretty well, with Gwen taking s/o to her favorite restaurant and having an amazing time together.

Of course s/o being the gentleman that he is, insisted on paying for the whole bill despite Gwen’s objections.

After eating, Gwen took s/o to her favorite spot in Central Park and just talked and laughed for what felt like hours.

“I had an awesome time with you Gwen.”

S/o tells her with a smile.

“I did too s/o.”

After a moment of silence, s/o speaks up.

“I was wondering if you would want to be my…girlfriend?”

“Yes! I’d love to be your girlfriend s/o!”

She exclaims in delight before hugging him tightly, thus beginning a wonderful relationship.

As a couple, Gwen and s/o go together like bread and butter.

They are a very lovey dovey couple, always holding hands and quoting things to each other that no one else understands.

(As happy as their friends are that the two got together, they wish the couple would just tone it down a little.)

When s/o first met his girlfriend’s dad, he was a little intimidated by him, but was relieved when Mr. Stacy told him he approved of him dating his daughter after seeing how happy he makes her.

The first one to say I love you was s/o, but Gwen immediately said it back to him with zero hesitation.

Seeing that her relationship is getting serious, Gwen decided to tell s/o that she is Ghost Spider, and does so in an interesting way.

S/o was shocked to see Ghost Spider hanging outside his window asking to come in, to which he reluctantly complied.

“G-ghost Spider?! What are you doing here at my house?!”

“What? Isn’t it normal for a girl to come see her boyfriend?”

“B-boyfriend?! What do you-”

Realization sets in as he looks at the heroine in surprise.

“G-Gwen?!”

She takes off her mask and waves at her boyfriend with an awkward smile.

“Hi babe. I…have some explaining to do.”

After explaining everything to s/o, and expecting him to be mad with her and possibly break up with her, Gwen was surprised when he pulled her into a kiss.

“Wow, I never would’ve guessed my awesome girlfriend was a superhero, that’s so cool!”

His response only made Gwen fall in love with him even more.

Now knowing that his girlfriend is a superhero, s/o is nothing but supportive, but that doesn’t stop him from worrying about her.

“Please be careful out there Gwen, I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, but-”

He’s quickly shut up by his girlfriend giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“I promise you I’ll be fine babe. No need to worry.”

She tells s/o and hugs him briefly before suiting up and swinging away to deal with whatever crime is being committed.

Whenever Gwen gets injured from stopping criminals, s/o always has the first aid kit ready and takes care of her to the best of his abilities, not going unappreciated by his girlfriend.

“Thanks for patching me up babe.”

“No problem Gwen, if the situation was reversed, I know you’d do the same for me.”

“I love you s/o.”

He smiles and gently kisses her on the lips.

“I love you too Gwen.”

After finishing having her injuries tended to by her caring boyfriend, Gwen decides to repay him by taking him on a web-slinging tour of the city with him in her arms, both of them happy to have the other in their lives.

#marvel #marvel x reader #spider gwen #spider gwen x reader #gwen stacy #gwen stacy x reader #ghost spider #ghost spider x reader #marvel headcanons #male reader #spider gwen x male reader #gwen stacy x male reader #marvel x male reader

[bloogers-boogers]

sometimes when scrolling past kyman analysises i get a little worried that people genuinely don't think kyle has the right to be upset with cartman, because he does! And that (+them caring for eachother regardless of anything) is why i like their dynamic:

because even if or when eric changes despite kyle having very much the right to atleast not forgive him.

having cartman become the person kyle always wanted him to be (maybe still being a dick but atleast a more ethical dick) and still holding onto those feelings of resentment is complicated for him, his own morals and both of their progresses!!

Having someone you love/hate grow as a person is complicated!! I think it makes for amazing angst and character development!!

(i hope this makes sense? Sorry for ranting, i've just been thinking about it a lot and am hella curious what u think of it all, or if im being out of line)

YESS YES YESSS THIS YOU GET IT, YOU SEE IT 😩😩

it's not something someone can easily forgive or probably won't ever. Like all the shit Kyle had to endure? Yeah.. but mostly for a character as strong and hotheaded as Kyle. I feel everyone has it easy to forgive Cartman (Stan, Kenny) but Kyle? Fuck even Butters would even struggle. Like you said, resentment. I can see Kyle having to force "growing up" from that bc either his friends persistent on accepting Cartman's changes or because he does feel it's right to do. But those feelings of resentment remain inside.

I think there would be parts of Kyle who'd be overwhelmed by those changes on Cartman, not knowing how to react probably even denial and also fear. And maybe for Kyle, being vulnerable and for Cartman of all people has his alarms going crazy. But there's also this Kyle who's proud for what Cartman archived? Bc in some way he witness that change, he contribute to it. Something he fight for. Something he wanted for Cartman and now that he's seeing actual progress it frightens him which takes away all the hits he was willing to take just to be able to see that happened for granted.

It's a "I endure hell to see you grow" type of cycle. Hope that it'd be better. For them to leave all of it aside and actually be friends. Even if that meant being hurt, humiliated in the process. Sacrifices he was willing to take. And it did but now Kyle remains resentful for it. For all of it.

I like to reflect on Kyle somehow. I went through a lot of emotional abuse for a long period of my life from someone close and I couldn't just back away from. I had to live with them around. There were times that it was great being around them, it was fun, comfortable and then, again a reminder of why I couldn't stand them. Because of all the hurt they gave me. And I just couldn't no matter how many apologies I received from the same person they meant nothing after a long period of abuse. Claims of wanting to "change" but never actually attempting to make that happen. I was hopeful things would be better but it never did, it worsen and I became more bitter about it than apologetic. I forgave but never forgot. And now that they're out from my life I can't ever forgive. Ofcourse this has nothing to do with Cartman and Kyle (it's a show after all) but it's what I use to put myself in Kyle's shoes. And if it weren't for it being fictional I honestly wouldn't be shipping them. But it is fictional and something about their relationship it's different from the rest of the other characters. It's different in the show. They work. I'm not saying Kyle's a victim cause he's fucking not.

They're both in a cycle they created. Kyle ain't no little angel early seasons show a whole other side of him that he outgrew from (not entirely). Kyle can fight back. And Cartman wasn't always some messed up kid just a dumb one. I'm not justifying his actions he's a dick. But I personally see them both in the wrong in the situation they're in.

Besides, their relationship feels more like the show puts them as "rivals". They can hangout, stand each other, be on equal ground, fight, tease, go against each other, get along. Hate is a strong word to use but I can't see them hating each other. Mostly bc we seen Stan telling Kyle to not go along with Cartman's shit if he doesn't want to deal with it, and he does that when he isn't feeling like it! (Tsss is a good example of that) also that episode where Kyle was rejected from the basketball team, Cartman stops his shit the moment he realizes Kyle isn't fighting back. Kyle is complying not standing his ground. It's no longer fun for him. Their relationship feels playful in a sense. That's toxic but that's what they grew use to and it's hard to break a toxic cycle like whatever shit they have going on.

If you hate someone you wouldn't care for what they do outside of you, you wouldn't save their life, you wouldn't be able to fight with them on one side and be friends on the other, you wouldn't rely of the other when things hit the fan/go wrong. These two are something else.

Pretty much their actions say otherwise.

Hahshaha dude I can talk about them all day, this thing is long but this is just me talking in the perspective I see Kyle on. Cartman is a whole other story😭😭

But yes, I get you anon! and don't apologize for the ranting! I love them<3

#asks♡

[ask-mangle-the-sad-one]

it didn’t go as planned

so u know my revenge I was talking about well it didn’t go as planned

“hi I’m back and u went way too deep so I’m tossing u into the sea!”-mangle. “I don’t know what you are talking about” -toy Chica. “U have never been Pritty like look in a mirror and if I’m a “pile of parts” then you must be the stupidest chicken I’ve ever met and I’m sorry that ur ugly but “it’s not my fault that you have such a fat beak” and whoever herd of a chicken who has a cupcake that is the supedest thing I’ve ever heard of.”-mangle. ”NOW YOU LITLE-“-toy Chica. “But I’ll forgive you, I will never forget it, but I do forgive you, I am just trying my best to shake you in the same way that you shook me, so I’m forgive’ing you”-mangle “oh so are we messing with each other’s feelings now are we?well you have no idea how many things I’ve heard from your mouth… and from Freddy’s.” “OH NOW DONT BRING HIM INTO THIS! YOU DIRTY LITTLE RAT! I WILL SHOVE YOU IN A RAT TRAP MYSELF IF YOU GET THIS PERSONAL!”-mangle. At this point the older animatronics walk out and kinda just stand there in the doorway “see they keep saying our names”-withered Bonnie “Bonnie look at what’s happening how r u not able to put 2 and 2 together they r our replacement’s! Come on this doesn’t concern us” they then go back to parts and service “ oh just u wait you’ll see what I have to say”-toy Chica by now toy Freddy and toy Bonnie walk in “what’s the matter, just tell me”-toy Freddy “oh! Well I’m just gonna say it now! I’ve been up later than you all think I also have herd words meant to stay between 2 animatronic’s and by now Bonnie is the only one of us who doesn’t know so why don’t I let him know! Bonnie here’s the news after I told mangle that she was a pile of parts she was crying about it in kids cove and here’s the juicy part Freddy went to confert  her  and I forgot everything else *mangle and toy Freddy both look terrified* except this one bit he said “you’re a beautiful pile of parts, and let’s keep it between us but *she starts whispering* I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you myself.” And do ya know what mangle said back!? *at this point mangle is crying in toy Freddy’s arms* she said “oh well let’s keep it between us but I’ve had a crush on you since I can’t even remember” “HEY THAT IS SOMETHING YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO SHARE! And wile I admit I knew it before this I just want you to know exactly how much you’ve hurt her!”-mangle’s endo head “ oh! But now everyone knows it and I win again!” *thru shaky breaths*”oh y-yeah? W-well I um YOU LOVE BONNIE!”-mangle “WHAT!?!?”-literally everybody “HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT YOU DIRTY RAT!?!”-toy Chica “wait you actually do?!?!”-mangle “why didn’t you tell me?”-toy Bonnie “EVERYONE STOP!!! Listen we all need a break from each other so why don’t you 2 talk over on the stage and me and mangle will talk in kids cove.”-toy Freddy “fine”-toy Chica mangle and toy Freddy then head over to kids cove and when they get there mangle collapses on the floor “I feel like somebody tossed me in a washing machine for an hour”-mangle “I’m sorry but ha-ha-ha it’s just what you just said I’m sorry about that. Anyway I guess they know.”-toy Freddy “yep *she pops her lips*”-mangle “um do you want to just sit together then?”-toy Freddy “m-hm”-mangle “sounds like Bonnie and Chica are getting along well”-toy Freddy they then just sit down together *im going to direct your attention to toy Bonnie and Chica* they walk over and sit down on the edge of the stage “so how long?”-toy Bonnie “a year” -toy Chica “wow!…well I might as well tell you *sigh* I love you to”-toy Bonnie *toy Chica Is shocked* “wow… u want to *she trails off*”-toy Chica “why not, we can try, see if it works.”toy Bonnie *toy Chica and toy Bonnie suddenly start laughing* “come on let’s go talk to Freddy and mangle”-toy Chica *toy Chica knock’s on the door frame of kids cove* “hellllooo! The then walk in “listen mangle… I’m sorry I called you a pile of parts, can you forgive me?”-toy Chica “of course”-mangle *and then the clock struck 12 and they went to try to get the night guard*

Um… I’m not explaining this yet

#mangle rp #it’s a long story #my revenge didn’t go as planned

[nervouscloudtheorist]

April 21st 2024

Dear Diary,

I don't know why people didn't tell me this but SUNDAY IS TURNIP DAY?

I was wandering around this morning because again, I woke up early and since I have the Night Owl ordinance going on there is absolutely nothing to do. I really need to rethink my choices because I really don't think I fully understood my choices with the Ordinances. I will need to reread the ordinances when I get a moment.

Anyways, while running around I ran into a boar named Joan and she was selling Turnips. I'm not sure how I didn't see her last Sunday but I didn't. Joan explained to me how people use turnips in something called a Stalk Market. Every day the re-tail shop will buy turnips for a random price, sometimes the price will go up and up all week and sometimes it will go up and down. She also went and made sure that I knew that the turnips are sensitive to time paradoxes.

I'm not sure what she meant by time paradoxes and now I am invested. What does this mean, how can I accomplish this? What is the purpose and mostly HOW DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT IT. I have so many questions honestly. This is going to require many late nights of research. I might even have to put off my beetle hunting for this. Just kidding, I need the money for all the public works projects I intend on doing sometime soon...I promise. I bought 90 turnips...for research.

Back to the town though, I totally forgot that the Nooking Junction got upgraded!! I have been so sick I just forgot I never even mentioned it to you. Now I have a bigger selection, unfortunately I still didn't have anything I needed to buy. No clothes either.

I also met someone named Shrunk. He seems to be an Axolotl which raises more concerns because I'm pretty sure he needs water but I'm not sure honestly so I should really keep that opinion to myself. Shrunk told me that he talked to Isabelle about setting up a shop on Main street and was told by her that he would still need to talk to me. I can't help but raise my eyebrow a little bit at this because while I know that I haven't been a Mayor long but I can't help but feel that Isabelle does a lot of my job.

I heard him out and he asked me to collect signatures for him so that he could build a comedy club, which in my past experience, is not a shop. I'm not sure if he knows the difference between a shop and a venue but honestly this town needs more things to do and I am not going to correct him on it. I have to collect 6 signatures and you know my go to had to be Clay.

Unfortunately, Clay was not available and I had to settle for Ribbot to be the first signature. I then decided to have Clay be the last signature but I am having trouble locating him. Maybe he went on a vacation? It's a little rude not to let me know but it's okay I forgive him.

Anyways it's time for the beetle hunt! Maybe I'll find Clay tomorrow.

Wish me luck!!

- Finn

#animal crossing #journals #new leaf #creative writing #animal crossing new leaf #writing #journaling #video games #nintendo

[sourbinnie]

https://www.tumblr.com/sourbinnie/718866072094261248/hi-how-are-you-can-you-make-a-part-two-about-the

Hello? I have an idea can you do like this? Look i read the second part you did and that was great but I want something like this that how they talk to them self and saying their feelings especially CHANGBIN that part of changbin that says them holding her hand rubbing their arm and ... Like that you know what i mean? And if this is hard you can imagine y/n's bandmates is lesserafim i think that's cool? thanks for accepting requests and writing them in the best way ‌.

title -> corazon frio (el angel que yo te envio) genre -> angst it is + no happy ending pair -> ot8!skz + gn!reader a/n: thank you for sending this request! i hope i did it justice ¡! and for this scenario let's pretend i never said that (y/n) had 7 band members and it's le ssera lmao :> also if you're not familiar, this is part of my 9th member series, can be found in my masterlist here

lingering your touch as i pass by the jyp building. the street lights shining through reflecting on the car, i am so lost in a dream that never happened. one where i stayed in chan's arms hoping he would calm me down and i wouldn't make such an abrupt and cruel decision without talking to him first. was i happy? i didn't really know. i held on to my bandmates so much, tried my best to fit in and hoped i did the group justice. but i craved that satisfaction of making him proud, of him taking care of me when it all seemed to be losing sense and i hoped that he knew that i wouldn't forget him and all that he did for me. maybe he already forgot me and it was for the best right? one doesn't wanna haunt the memories of their old loved ones.

✉ ✉ ✉

it hurt to think that you hurt someone else without intention. i thought leaving would be the most sane choice and that i wouldn't be occupying a place that someone else deserved to shine. i knew minho would hate me for the rest of eternity, i couldn't even think of him without crying. the teasing, the jokes, the atmosphere he fixed for me just to feel comfortable. even now when i joked with zuha and yunjin, i still was brought back to the times minho taunted me but it always ended with a long warm hug. i thought of times where i have felt so afraid of coming out on stage and he was always there, right beside me. to put on a show with him, meant that i was standing besides one of the most talented people i've ever met and he still was a delight to watch.

✉ ✉ ✉

i walked endlessly through the corridors as i tried to escape what torn me the most. the look in changbin's eyes as he observed my performance and all i could think of was how many times i went to him for the smallest of things. whether it was being completely nervous or anxious for an award show or because i missed my family too much and i needed to be hugged. my cloudy vision didn't do me justice as my band members looked at me curiously and i just had to mutter an "i'm fine" and continue on. but as soon as i got to the dorms, i had to close the bedroom door and choke back on my tears as i couldn't stand the cold & distance that there was now between me and who used to be my best friend.

✉ ✉ ✉

staring at the ceiling pretending he was right beside me. the delusion and the disappointment in me when i looked again and hyunjin wasn't there was unmeasurable. i wanted to intertwine fingers, feel him staring back at me and not feel utterly broken in the process. i cried so much when i knew i had to leave him because i know how he is, how worried he gets. seeing him again and not feel the warmth but just a blank stare, like a stranger that i've never met was a stab to the heart. i don't expect him to forgive me and i don't expect to be met with his arms open at any point again in my life. i had to stop myself from remembering too much about him before i lost my mind and did something insane like call him in the middle of the night.

✉ ✉ ✉

oh jisung, my partner in crime. i will never forget our antics and how much you helped me feel like i was a part of the team (until i wasn't). i remember you like the stars, every talent of yours shined brighter and gave more light. i can't stop thinking about that time i saw you and wanted to run right to you, celebrate that one of my best friends was in the same area as me. then i remembered you're not my best friend anymore and i had to let go of the feelings that i held onto so tightly because how can you go through everything with someone and then just let them go? tightness built in my throat thinking about it. hope you're doing lyrics that aren't too sad like you always do but i think i know the answer for that right now.

✉ ✉ ✉

the morning light felt cold even in the middle of spring. i couldn't figure out what happened, as i was a mess but as i looked around me and hoped to see felix, i knew all the answers. felix, how much i didn't treasure you when i had you. i was scared, confused and lonely that i took the decision and i didn't think of him. of how much we battled together and how when we were eliminated we held onto each other like the world would disappear. i don't expect him to be happy, sad or mad, i expect he would do his best and he would still smile for the picture even if it wasn't the same. i remember coming back with him and minho, the way we couldn't be separated. he had taught me so much and i gave him so little, in return i get to see him glow and he gets to see me pretending to be alright.

✉ ✉ ✉

as we were taken to our music video shoot, i decided to take my old phone. it was a mistake (or was it?) as i confused with the new one but there it was, my background. a picture that i took with seungmin when we were touring in europe, it shined so brightly like the sun and yet it pained me so harshly like the darkest of rooms. eunchae noticed me staring and grabbed my hand as i sighed, laying on her shoulder. seungmin wasn't the most expressive but the night he came to me crying because he didn't want to be alone was scarring on me like one of the most painful memories i've ever experienced. leaving him was like leaving my brother and now it was clear that we weren't family anymore and it twisted the dagger in my heart.

✉ ✉ ✉

looking at our maknae i could only think of how much she reminded me of jeongin when we first started. he had that hopeful look on his eyes and i knew he wanted to prove himself, to show off that he could do it on his own. that still didn't stop him from cuddling up to me at night and reaching for my embrace in the winter. i hugged him so tight sometimes like he would slip away at any moment not knowing that was gonna happen at some point. i knew they would take care of him, i didn't doubt their habilities but sometimes thinking about him twisted something inside of me. the need to be there for him at all points just washed over me but right now i had eunchae and i would take care of her just as much as i did with innie.

✉ ✉ ✉

at the end of the day, i was reunited with my band members as we talked about life, family and other lovey things. that's when i was hit with a question that sakura made that took me by surprise and left everyone else quiet.

"are you scared of something (y/n)?" was so simple yet so effective in me that i nodded, liquid building up in my eyes as i smiled. i felt chaewon pat me in the back and say that i didn't have to answer if i didn't want to but i shook my head.

"of being forgotten." i said as i played with my hands to distract me from the sudden memories. 

i suddenly felt so cold yet i still hoped in the bottom of my heart, that my ex band members would be blessed with a warm and lovely night. 

#sourbinnie #skz drabbles #skz imagines #skz imagine #skz 9th member #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids 9th member #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz #stray kids

[the-savage-garden]

Nitpicking ACOWAR Ch 9

The reason this gets long is mostly because I was copy-pasting from the book that irritated me lol. Like, finding out what all of Feyre's bs "plans" were was the worst, everything was such a mess. It becomes clear how there was so much writing that was pointless, like SJM was putting off things to do a "reveal" and meanders with her writing.

Chapter 9

-Ianthe is sticking around instead of going to her temple “a few miles away.” I didn’t realize they used miles in this world, interesting.

-Ianthe is still trying to get closer to Tamlin for some reason, I still don’t understand the politics of this world. She still thinks she has a chance after what happened with the whipping. I’m so lost.

-Feyre is still working on keeping the sentries on her side. I wonder when she goes back to the Night Court would the sentries feel betrayed by her?

-”...while the healer quietly patched him up.” Is the healer magical or not? I don’t even know how healing works in this world to be able to tell.

-”Then apologized that I hadn’t been able to prevent it…I meant every word…” Feyre, you’re the reason it happened in the first place, the hell is wrong with you?

-”If I had asked them, they would have handed me their own knives to slit their throats.” I REALLY hate Feyre.

-Everyone’s going to the wall this time. I don’t know why it matters though.

-Jurian is winking at Feyre again. I’ve decided I hate him too.

-I also hate Alis. I hate everyone in this book honestly.

-[“I know the feeling,” was all I said.] That is not the same Feyre, you were barely in the Night Court, Alis hasn’t been home in Summer for around 50 years. How is Night Court your “home” already?

-”Even her tree-bark skin seemed to blanch.” If Alis has tree-bark skin how could it blanch? This doesn’t make sense to me.

-”She knew which court I meant. And did not look afraid.” But it’s the Night Court! They literally have an evil reputation, why would Alis not be afraid of them? I don’t understand her character.

-The sentries won’t look at Tamlin, you’d think he’d notice. I remember when he used to be more observant from the 1st book, I miss that guy.

-”...a courtesy I knew none of the others had extended.” Maybe because the nameless sentry was punished for a crime you framed him committing?

-”...appearing eager to mend the rift the whipping had torn between us.” But you’re trying to “mend” it with Ianthe, who the sentries all hate now. What does this accomplish at this point?

-Feyre shares a tent with Ianthe, supposedly to spare Lucien from dealing with her.

-”Lying beside Ianthe without slitting her throat…” I forgot how murderous Feyre has become now. It makes me sad.

-”I repeated their names silently, over and over into the darkness.” I see someone was inspired by Game Of Thrones (except it was a kill list, I know).

-Feyre also names her sisters which I’m surprised by. They haven’t exactly gotten along, it just seems… too soon to get to that yet. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

-”My goal was bigger than revenge. My purpose greater than personal retribution” Haha, funny joke Feyre. Wait, you’re serious? You’ve literally done nothing to Hybern this whole time you’ve been here, and you’ve been focusing on having your revenge on Spring instead. Ugh.

-”I wasn’t sure I’d been born with the ability to forgive. Not for terrors inflicted on those I loved.” I’m a little confused with Feyre’s character, I don’t remember this ever being brought up before.

-”For myself, I didn’t care—not nearly as much.” I guess this makes sense, Feyre did decide to hunt for her family so this at least tracks (I know it was because of a promise to her mother but I’d like to think Feyre did it because she cared even if she never thought it).

-”Could not stomach the idea of letting these people get away with what they’d done.” Who are “these people”? I get it with Ianthe but everyone else wanted to save Feyre from the Night Court because they believed she was in danger. Also no one you care about is dead, just injured, or in the case of your sisters are now immortal. So what exactly have they done to you?

-[“Hybern is not our enemy,” she said a tad breathlessly.] But they are Ianthe, what are you even talking about? I don’t get this character’s motivation at all. The Hybern royals think Ianthe is below them, shouldn’t she be worried about them?

-Also what’s the point of having Feyre “subtly” threaten Ianthe? Shouldn’t this tip off Ianthe that something’s wrong? These intimidating tactics make no sense to me.

-”Lucien and Tamlin showed the twins where the crack in the wall lay.” I’m still baffled that this is a plot point. It’s just… this is the best that SJM could come up with?

-”And as they had done with the first two, they spent hours surveying it, the surrounding land.” See what I mean? Why do they need to survey the wall for hours? I know the magic wall is going to go down but what’s the point of lingering on this part so much? Something else should be going on.

-”We’d played our little power games, established I could bite if I wished, but we’d tolerate each other.” I’m so lost. Hybern is framed to be the antagonists of the series but then they don’t do anything to Feyre. Is it because of the deal that Tamlin made that Hybern can’t harm anyone in Spring? I already can’t remember and I’m not going back.

-The weird twins discuss which hole is better. (I realized a funny joke about this.)

-For some reason we’re focusing on the fact that Feyre is eating an apple during this. Why?

-“Yes, but we’d have more access to the High Lord’s supplies.” I thought the deal with Hybern was leaving Spring alone while they go through? Why are supplies included? Why is this now being brought up when it should’ve been brought up earlier?

-”...and I had no idea whatsoever where Lucien or the sentries were.” That’s a rookie mistake on your part Feyre. How are you the one pulling the strings again? It feels like Feyre should be more out of her element than the book portrays it.

-”Good. Easier for me as I shoved the apple slice into my mouth…” What comedy bit am I about to read here? I’m dying inside.

-Why are the twins even listening to Feyre at all? I don’t get them at all.

-”I shrugged, cutting another piece of apple.” Note to self, don’t write someone eating while they’re talking, it’s annoying. And gross. And serves no purpose, unless I want to write someone being a piece of shit. In movies it’s usually done to make it obvious a character is an asshole.

-[“You two talk louder than you realize.” Shared accusatory glares between them.] The twins know that Feyre has mind powers, why are they being paranoid of each other?

-“Unless you want to risk the other courts having time to rally and intercepting you before you can cross to the strait, I’d pick this one.” That doesn’t even make any sense. These are all dumb writing choices.

-“But what do I know? You two have squatted on a little island for five hundred years. Clearly you know more about Prythian and moving armies than me.” I feel like SJM is basing this moment from a movie or something again. This quote is giving me deja vu.

-“This is not about armies, so I will trust you to keep that mouth shut until we have use for you.” Well, duh, they’re taking down the wall, not marching an army to the human lands because that would be pointless since humans are super weak against Fae.

-Feyre gets information out of Brannagh that I’ve already figured out. Why are the twins treated like they’re stupid? If it’s because “Fae are arrogant” I’m going to lose it.

-”It is for bringing down this hideous wall and reclaiming what we were.”  What does “reclaiming what you were” mean exactly?

-Does Feyre seriously get all the information she needs in one chapter? This brings me back to ACOMAF where we got one chapter of backstories. Ugh.

-”...Vallahan, Montesere, and Rask.” Got other places named.

-”Two hundred thousand. Mother save us” I don’t think SJM knows how troop numbers work.

-The twins should know that Feyre used to be human right? I just… I’m losing it.

-“The king had not yet found the Cauldron, despite years of searching. It served his purposes to let her be an experiment for how we might break these people. And served as good motivation for our allies on the continent to join us, knowing what would await them.” I hate this explanation.

-”I finished off my apple and chucked the core into the woods. They watched it fly like two hounds tracking a pheasant.” WHY? Why is this here?

-“So they’re all going to converge here? I’m supposed to play hostess to so many soldiers?” This is a stupid question.

-“Our own force will take care of Prythian before uniting with the others. Our commanders are preparing for it as we speak.” That’s obvious. Did Feyre seriously think that they’re going to have all of the arm forces in one place?

-Something about the stupid Cauldron. Hybern is using it to break the wall.

-“Probably. Though this mortal mind did manage to solve Amarantha’s riddle—and destroy her.” That’s not the brag you think it is Feyre, the answer was literally love. It wasn’t even a good riddle. I thought it was supposed to be stupid as an insult to Feyre honestly. And Tamlin was the one that destroyed her, not Feyre.

-“Why do you think Hybern let her live for so long in these lands? Better to have someone else do his dirty work.” What?

-”Not at me—but at who had given me those bruises. Who had picked Ianthe over them—and Hybern over their honor and people.” I wonder who caused that to happen.

-I’m sure I’m supposed to be happy that Feyre is leaving Spring but I’m not ready. I don’t want to read about the Night Court again.

-”The one I’d brought with me on every trip out to the wall, just in case.” In case of what? Leaving early? Feyre’s plans suck.

-”I had numbers, I had a purpose, I had a specific location, and the names of foreign territories.” The most obvious things are the answers? This is the info that Feyre was looking for? The only thing Feyre really needed was the location but it’s the place where Tamlin and Feyre went through in the 1st book so it feels that Feyre should’ve known already.

-”But more than that, I had a people who had lost faith in their High Priestess. I had sentries who were beginning to rebel against their High Lord. And as a result of those things, I had Hybern royals doubting the strength of their allies here. I’d primed this court to fall. Not from outside forces—but its own internal warring.” I want everyone to know I fucking hate this. This was the best plan Feyre could come up with to deal with Hybern? Spring isn’t even a true ally to Hybern, if the King thought that then he’s an idiot.

-”And to maintain that illusion of strength, Tamlin and Ianthe would lie about it—where I’d gone. And perhaps a day or two after that, one of these sentries would reveal the news, a carefully sprung trap that I’d coiled into his mind like one of my snares.” I hate this manipulative Feyre.

-”...the markings consistent with what Dagdan and Brannagh had already revealed to be their style.” When the twins attacked those humans? Did Feyre intend for that to happen?

-”I’d planted images in his head… How I ran for my life when Tamlin and Ianthe refused to intervene, to risk their alliance with Hybern.” I’m somehow supposed to see Feyre as a good person in all of this? That she does terrible things to do the right thing? But then she manipulates minds and creates false memories into people? I’m supposed to root for that?

-”And when the sentry revealed the truth, no longer able to stomach keeping quiet…” What the fuck Feyre? Does Feyre not realized how fucked up this is? She’s worse than Hybern! Hybern is at least honest with their shit.

-”There would be no further alliance. For there would be no sentry or denizen of this court who would stand with Tamlin or Ianthe after this. After me.” Alliance? You mean the deal that Tamlin made with Hybern to save you? And me? Feyre is so selfish, I know she was before, but this… Ugh.

-”A few seconds extra had me snatching Tamlin’s bandolier of knives…Illyrian fighting knives.” Why is Feyre stealing them? This doesn’t make sense. They were given to Tamlin (I think) and that doesn’t give Feyre the right to take them.

-”Keep going. They were distracted, horrible as it was.” Ah, yes, let’s leave your friend Lucien behind huh?

-”Keep going, keep going, keep going.” Don’t remind me of Finding Nemo, book. Ugh.

-[“I thought you’d seek me out after the Rite,” Ianthe purred.] So, Ianthe likes to have control over men by forcing herself on them. But I’m completely lost with how she words this.

-“I was obligated to perform the Rite,” Lucien snapped. “That night wasn’t the product of desire, believe me.” But everyone gives Tamlin a hard time from the 1st book because of the Rite. Neither Tamlin nor Lucien gets a choice on who they sleep with during the Rite. I just… have many questions for this that won’t get answered.

-”I’d primed everything to fall; I’d long since stopped feeling any sort of guilt or doubt about my plan.” I gotta reiterate how awful Feyre is.

-”I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I’d found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin’s presence.” Jealousy? Why would Ianthe be jealous? She just wants control, doesn’t she? I also hate the way touching is used as a catalyst for this because Lucien and Feyre are supposedly friends, this shouldn’t mean much, at least to me.

-[“Do not touch me,” he growled. And then I was moving.] Oh, so now you suddenly care about your friend Feyre?

-”I masked the sound of my footfalls…” With magic or…?

-Ianthe restrains Lucien with some blue stone from Hybern that can magically nullify powers. In the 2nd book Rhys had also been chained up with the same stone. I just realized this but did SJM borrow the sea-stone thing from One Piece? I didn’t realize how much of an anime fan SJM was.

-”She slid a hand over the broad panes of his chest, his stomach.” I don’t like how this whole thing is framed. This is supposed to be horrifying, not sexy.

-”And Lucien’s eyes shot to me as I stepped between the trees, fear and humiliation reddening his golden skin.” The way this is written confuses me for some reason? Also we’ve got golden to describe skin again.

-”Her hand slid lower, not for his own pleasure, but simply to throw it in my face that she could—” Why is this directed at Feyre for? I thought Ianthe just likes having power over others but then why throw this into Feyre’s face. I don’t get Ianthe, this writing sucks.

-”A mask over a face of decay. That’s what it was like to go inside that beautiful head and find such hideous thoughts inside it.” I hate the way this is written.

-”Lucien’s skin drained of color as Ianthe obeyed me, her face queerly vacant, pliant.” I know Feyre is saving Lucien but I don’t like how she’s mind-controlling Ianthe.

-“Smash your hand with the rock as hard as you can until I tell you to stop.” This reminds me a lot of that villain from Jessica Jones, how is Feyre the good guy again?

-“You will not remember what happened here. You will tell the others that you fell.” Huh, that’s what an abuser usually says.

-“You are allowed to see a healer to set the bones. But not to erase the scarring…” Why bring up scarring like that?

-”I’ve debated it every single day since I learned you sold out my sisters to Hybern.” So, Feyre wanted to kill Ianthe because of what happened to her sisters. I get it but I dunno, all of this feels odd to me.

-Is Feyre not going to ask if Lucien is okay? Or do anything to reassure him? No? Okay.

-And now the weird twins show up.

#anti sjm #anti acowar

[aroace-polyshow]

Ha llegado el tiempo más esperada del país! La hora de la miseria en la cueva del homosexual :D

I feel overly annoying and confident so I decided to make you an analysis on why Eight by Sleeping at Last would make a beautiful hw song. I always imagined it a good Nene com, but since it doesn't quite match the music box event, maybe it'll serve you as inspiration for another one? Also Google isn't showing me the lyrics so I'm going to write them myself with extra emotionality✨, sorry about that.

Putting the lines colour coded for the characters and blue if I have no idea.

I remember the minute

it was like a switch was flipped

I was just a kid

Nene upon realising she forgot her words, completely alone in a hall full of people staring at her.

Who grew up strong enough to pick this armor on

And suddenly it fit

A LOT OF THINGS. Could be Tsukasa giving into his role of a people pleaser to make Saki and everyone around him happier at his expense, could be Emu giving up her "childish" behaviour after the Wonder Stage was closed off, could be Rui accepting that he is a monster and coming to live as a loner.

And god that was so long ago, long ago, long ago...

Nene and Rui. Do I even need to clarify?

I was weak and perfectly naive

And I grew up too quick

All of them honestly. What happened with Hollow Wonderland and having to give up their childhood to soon?

Now you won't see all that I have to lose

And all I've lost in the fight to protect it

Emukasa, constantly giving up, constantly fighting, yet so completely lost in the dark.

I won't let you in, I swore never again

I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

Ruinene but actually all of them more or less, especially the fear of rejection part.

I want to break these bones 'til they're better

I want to break them right and feel alive

Ruikasa coded, to me. Rui who needs to be fixed just like the robots he fixes. Tsukasa who'd run his blood dry if it meant Saki could go out of the hospital.

You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong

My healing needed more than time

EMU. EMU WHO NEVER GOT TIME TO GRIEVE HER GRANDPA, EMU WHO NEVER HAD ENOUGH TIME TO HEAL OVER THE WONDER STAGE AND NOW SHE DOES BUT IT'S STILL SO SO LONELY AND WEIRD FOR HER TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS.

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things

I see the familiar

Something about Nene writing songs that capture the feelings of all those who were never let themselves cry. Something about Emu recognising Mafuyu's smile as something horrid because she's seen it before. Something about Tsukasa's lyrics always sounding like bedtime lullabies that he never got to hear. Something about Rui seeing the loneliness both of them hoard, a dim light in their eyes too familiar to forget.

I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too

Now I'm a broken mirror

Could be anyone honestly this fits too well.

But I can't let you see all that I have to lose

All I've lost in the fight to protect it

I can't let you in, I swore never again

I can't afford to let myself be blindsided

All of them once again but can I just say HOW MUCH THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGES FROM THE FIRST ONE?? THEY'RE BEGINNING TO BE VULNERABLE YET THEY STILL RECOIL AT THE TOUCH, THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE YET THEY FEAR PRESENCE MORE THAN ANYTHING. IS THIS ANYTHING. DOES ANYONE HEAR ME?

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart

And all I want is to trust you

COULD BE RUI BUT COULD ALSO BE EMUNENE. JUST IMAGINE A VERY SAD EMU IN SMILE OF A DREAMER, CLOSE TO CRYING AS SHE HIDES AWAY, AND NENE COMING IN TO CARE FOR HER. IMAGINE THE TRUST. IMAGINE IT'S FAULTS.

Show me how to lay my sword down

For long enough to let you through

TSUKASA WITH THE SWORD OF THE KNIGHT PROTECTING THOSE HE LOVES AT HIS OWN EXPENSE. RUI WITH THE SWORD HE WAS GIVING A BIRTH — HE WAS BORN A WEAPON AND A MONSTER. ONCE AGAIN: TRUST. THE KIND OF "PLEASE SHOOT ME AND HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS AS I DIE BECAUSE I CAN'T SAVE MYSELF AND I WON'T FORGIVE MYSELF IF I HURT YOU" TRUST. THE RUIKASA TRUST.

Here I am, pry me open

What do you want to know?

I'm just a kid

RUIEMU RUIEMU I CAN'T EXPLAIN BUT JUST— TWO KIDS WHO'S CHILDHOOD WAS RIPPED AWAY FOR BEING OSTRACIZED FOR SOMETHING THAT WASN'T THEIR FAULT.

Who grew up scared enough

To hold the door shut

And bury my innocence

NENEKASA. I know Tsukasa doesn't have anxiety nor anything close to it, but holding the door shut could be a way to show him staying at home while his parents spend their time with his dying sister. Alone in his room. Scared of monsters under his bed no one else will ever get to see because no one has walked into the house in more time he can measure.

But here's a map, here's a shovel

Here's my Achilles' heel

SOBBING HEAD IN HANDS STOMPING ON THE FLOOR BLOOD AND GUTS ALL OVER THE PLACE AS I SMASH MY SKULL INTO LITTLE PIECES THEY MAKE ME SO ILL

I'm all in, palms out

I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin

The found family. The found FAMILY DUDE I CAN'T

I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough

To let you IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

They have healed thanks to each other and now they're ready to take on the world.

I'LL SHAKE THE GROUND WITH AAAALL MY MIGHT

AND I WILL PULL MY WHOLE HEART UP TO THE SURFACE

NENE. NENE.

For the innocent, for the vulnerable

And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose.

For the innocent goes to Emu for having to bury her own self in the backyard with tears in her eyes and mud under her nails. The vulnerable goes to Rui because he never got to be vulnerable with anyone but the one's he Rui-ned (never making that pun again). Because he was a born monster and monster don't have any feelings, so what's the point? And the "front lines with a purpose" part goes to Tsukasa because... Wow he finally found why he likes theatre so much, didn't he?

And I'll give all I have:

I'll give my BLOOD, I'll give my SWEAT

AND AN OCEAN OF TEARS WILL SPILL FOR WHAT IS BROKEN

ALL OF THEM SINGING IT TOGETHER PLEASE. THEY HAVE SACRIFICED SO MUCH AND GOT SO LITTLE, NOW THEY'RE WILLING TO TRY AGAIN AND SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR EACH OTHER.

I'm shattered porcelain

Glued back together again

INVINCIBLE like we've never been

What's that thing about filling your cracks with gold? What's that thing about fireflies shining in the dark of night? Yeah that thing.

ksdhjffd HI HELLO WELCOME. THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD rotating this in my brain oh my god. i have some little notes on some lines that also mean a lot to me for other characters btw

“But I can't let you see all that I have to lose/ All I've lost in the fight to protect it “

^ this one feels also ruicore. as in protecting nene. nene is all he really has left to lose. yk.

“I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart/And all I want is to trust you/Show me how to lay my sword down/For long enough to let you through”

^ tsukasa fucking tenma who needs to be taught vulnerability is A Thing he’s allowed to do

“And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose.” <- i have nothing to add for this one it’s so tsukasa but i just need to let you know how much i LOVE THIS LINE. also your rui-ned pun was awful i hope you do it again /silly

anyway. ourdfghfsggfdhjjksagjhfgfdfhdf oh this is good. this is very very good. this is so rumdfjhgsjms,admfghafngfsd. i need to be put down thank you for sending this de tu cueva homosexual /silly

#asks #hollow ☆ wonderland #long post

[winterswhite]

gotta ask, what do you think about the tetonaru dynamic

AH I ALMOST FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS. I was really tired and unwell when I got it and I wanted to write a proper answer so yknow. Hi, now that I can write one:

I absolutely adore the tetonaru dynamic! I got into enstars some time before Beasts first dropped, and back then I hadn't really thought about their dynamic a whole lot (especially bc... I was new to enstars lmao), but when that story first came out I started thinking about how interesting it was to put those two together, as the trans girl (at the time, a question mark) on a journey to self-love and the boy who wants nothing more than to become a man among men. Two people who are seemingly complete opposites in every way, especially in their desires and ideals, coming together at the end of the school year and exploring what it means to be who they are. Seeing Tetora in a skirt and wig I was... definitely shocked? And had no idea what to think of what the story would be like, but I did find it interesting. (continued under cut)

Then eventually, because I couldn't speak Japanese at the time to read it for myself, a translation of the story came out and it quickly became one of my favorite stories ever. I absolutely adore the way it was written and every single development that happened, both between the characters and in the story itself. Like I said before, at the time I wasn't sure whether Arashi was a trans girl or was just a... weird portrayal of an 'effeminate' boy, but this story really cemented that she is a trans girl, and it's the story I use as evidence of it all the time. Seeing Tetora learn about her and realize his mistakes? That was peak! It was also the start of a beautiful dynamic between the two of them, and it's one that I can't imagine going without now.

I just love the way their relationship started out so rough, with Tetora only having a surface-level knowledge of her and using that to praise her, not knowing that he was hurting her instead. In turn, Arashi thought he was annoying, and after being hurt by his words, decided to play a mean-spirited prank on him in return. Tetora may have looked up to her, but it was a misguided admiration, and Arashi wanted nothing more than for him to leave her alone. It's a very good representation of their characters in general - Tetora is quick to get attached to people he feels like he can look up to, and Arashi has struggled consistently with acting unfairly towards others based on her own personal annoyance etc. But then, things happened, and their relationship changed; they both had realizations about themselves and each other.

Madara told Tetora that Arashi is trans, and he realized how much he had been hurting her by calling her manly without even intending to, and he regretted his actions so much that he cried - something we never ever see him do otherwise - when apologizing to her. Even though he says he doesn't fully understand the way she feels, the way it is to be trans, he's still willing to respect and support her. He still sees her as the woman she is, and later refers to her as such when talking to Midori in the epilogue.

Arashi, on the other hand, thinks she may have put him in real danger by having him dress up as a girl, and then realizes how mean her prank was. When he apologizes so sincerely, even prostrating on the ground in dogeza, she realizes that he really meant no harm and was just being earnest. She gets upset at herself for being so mean, but forgives him for what he did, and it's a lesson in... not assuming the worst from others? Which is also really important imo, especially for Arashi, who always has. She even thinks she's just as bad as the people who have always hurt her for doing what she did.

The way their friendship has developed since that story is so special to me. Tetora saying he wants to embrace the more 'girly' parts of himself and that those can be manly strengths too is so important! And in the same way, he talks about wanting to turn his perceived weaknesses into strengths. Arashi, on the other hand, learned to love and accept both herself and others more, and again, not to assume malice where it may just be ignorance.

They both help each other improve as people and just... have become so important to each other? And that's so important to me. Watching them become such good friends, Tetora really respecting and treating Arashi like a girl and Arashi being respectful of Tetora's own wishes (he's one of the few people her age or younger that she doesn't use -chan for! Because he's expressed discomfort with it!), and the two of them hanging out together to do all sorts of things is just so cute and sweet to me. The fact that they became roommates in !! era was a dream come true for me. They both learn so much together and from each other, and their friendship is so cute.

I love seeing them do cute things together, seeing Arashi get Tetora modeling work, seeing Arashi teach Tetora about fashion and skincare (things he hadn't paid much attention to before, but now he's become so good at? He helped design the outfits for Nekketsu☆Ryusei Ninpouchou, he made suggestions for Kanata's second personalized outfit, Midori has commented on how fashionable he's gotten and several characters have commented on the condition of his skin and his use of perfumes), seeing them go shopping for accessories together (Tetora's recent 4* story destroyed me, hence the translation), seeing both of them think about and admire each other's growth... it's just been such good development for them, both as individuals and together.

Their friendship is just... so special to me. It's a story of forgiveness, of acceptance, of self-love, of respect for yourself and others, of realizing your mistakes and bettering yourself from them, of watching each other grow, and it's just plain cute. TetoNaru are just so so special to me. I don't think I even did it justice in all the words I've written here lmao. I apologize for the rant but I really care about them so much >.<

#an rambles: enstars! #tetora nagumo #arashi narukami #ask #anonymous

[merscylilith]

Away | " being lost in everything despite him always here "

Ran Haitani!Bonten x f!reader

slight angst, with comfort

masterlist

Note : forgive the grammars (unfortunately, this is my last fic for now as i took a very long rest).

POV : This is the pov of Y/n, which is everything in here not explained as details from the event that happened in any specific day, it just a happy and sad memoriable according to Y/n-self will be told by herself in this story.

" it's bad that i wanted to distance myself ?"

Summary : Easy to say that you would always stay here whenever i need you but did you ever thinking that you will be always need me ?

" Are you excited, babe ?", Ran holding your hand tightly while his right hand holding your luggage. Yes, of course , you are excited but overthinking seems approached you more further than yesterday.

What if there are so many sexy girls ? And they have ideal body type ? They try to seduce him ? Oh, you forgot that your boyfriend, Ran Haitani is one of the Bonten that manage the company that own most of strip club across Japan along side with his brother.

He probably have seen naked girls and boys almost everyday, the sentence in your mind disturbed you more than you wanted it to be.

Dont wanna ruined this vacation, instead you should be grateful because Ran dropped his mission just to have some time with you, he could be killed by Sanzu for not following the rules, no one in the Bonten's executives really about Sanzu's threat anyway. Ran looks so excited, he was so busy arranging all the stuff, make some double check, or anything that he think that you probably need.

Yet, he did these all for you. Last month, you have been kept talking about how much you wanna go to beach, island or likes everything the photos that your friend had posted in social media when she was in Hawaii. Ran noticed every movement of yours, he can read your mind eaaily, so why not, make your dream come to reality.

" Babe, is there something bothering you ?", you tilted your head to your side, but your eyes looks to the other way, avoiding the eyes contact, doesnt want him suspecting anything about you being down, again.

One thing you love about Ran, he didnt give you any pressure to take the same step as him, he will give you some space if you asked for it, at the certain points, you even doubt if he really Ran Haitani that have displays in the news or any social media platform, said him to be the dangerous person along with his executives, Ran Haitani is the whole different person when with you.

" Hawaii is the famous island for travelling, no wonder Rindou keep talking thag he wanted to go there once he get a family, but bet him, we both go to Hawaii before him ", he is such a goofy talker, always being competitve with his brother in any way he could think of, " Poor younger Haitani, we should have bring him, you know, he would be lonely in wirks place, withou his lovely brother ", you chuckled as you response to him, enjoying the view from above, did i mentioned that you both in Ran's private jet ?

When he said wanted to spending time alone with you, he did really meant it.

But, lately, the thinking of me wanted to end all of this were conquer my thoughts.

Nothing wrong with Ran Haitani, he is a sweet talker, put you first before him and his brother, you could see the sparkling of love his eyes. As Ran keep making a joke towards you, you laughed, but inside you were in the different war. Hearing Ran talking, joking ,nagging, you could live wuth all that.

The insecurity in you didnt helped you to appreciate his.

You are really impressed with how Ran exactly know your ideal, he did book a nice view of the cottage, and how you love being in the middle of nice breeze.

You felt the light tapped on your shoulder as you enjoy the breeze on the speed boat that Ran booked and once you tilted your head to the back, " CLICK ", he snapped your face. He laughed crazyly looking at your ungly expression, " never thought my pretty woman can looks this ugly ", frowned at ugly, you took the water bottle then, splashed it his face, " revenge ", you lift your side right lips.

Then the war between you two happened. How i wish this could last long .

Feeling sad was craving to your emotions, why you have to be this overthinking about him, he is so nice , yet, i make it worse.

The strong arms lingering around your waist, Ran hugged you from the back, the warmth of his body, make you relaxed a bit.

Oh God, im not sure what makes me wanted to run away from all of these.

There's nothing wrong happened between both us, our love is smooth too, " you know, you could tell me everything, dont keep it all to yourself, i love you the most, babe ", if being cheated on is the hard feeling, then, hold your tears from falling down because of your stupid encounter of insecure is the childish hard feeling you ever had.

" i love you, Ran ", turned your body, and hugging him back.

The traditional music, the drum and the joy from the local and traveller lighting up the beautiful night.

It same goes to you and Ran, the both having a dinner at the near restaraunt that Ran had made a reservation 2 days before.

The dinner just filled with the sound of spoons and plates, which is not normal of you Ran's thinking, you are the one always being excited whenever having a fancy dinner with him, and now, nothing but your scurnched face cant properly cut the meat

Ran stop his acts, and touch your hand, " I dont know what happened to you, but if there anything i can do, just please tell me, i nees to communicate with me ", is it my fault to feel insecure whenever i stand beside you, it's like i didnt deserved anything, i really wanted to say that to his face. You really wanted to say that off to his face, it seems rude.

" what will you do if one day you leave me- ", " stop there, babe, no one leave no one , never thinking about it, if you doubt my love just beacuse im criminal, just dont, i love you as you are, we have been going through all these before ", that make me deel worse, i feel lile Ran gonna be tired of my overthinking.

Not easy for me to stop feel insecure just because Ran said that.

I cant blame Ran too, he try his best to make a good day for me, but fuck this mind, non stop repeating " you have to leave him ", over and over again.

The dinner went smooth, we both share our days.

" Rannn, look at that ", your shimmering eyes got Ran stunned, how beautifil his love can be. It's not lile you never seen ya fireworks, but the colour and the design of fireworks totally different than the others you ever seen. Share the kisses under the cold breeze, make you forgot how you wanted to run away for this relationship, you afraid to get hurt.

Nobody wanted to get hurt.

And here you are, clenched your fist as you heard the girls behind you talking about Ran, how good his body, how handsome he looks, he must be rich and yet come to the worst, they assume you as a gold digger, " she must after his money ", " not even pretty ", " what the fuck with that body, flat ass ", the words women around you two getting into Ran's nerves, what makes their appearance can top tier of someone's he love.

Ran clicked his tongue, then threw a glass wine exactly on the girls behind me, everyone on the scenes shocked at the situations.

Im not expecting this.

" Mind to repeat your words ? ", the look om Ran, terrified, i havent seen Ran get mad or being dangerous, not around me, he good at controlling his emotions and tolerate with my brat ass, this is something new.

" Let's go, babe. We have a good pay everything to have a good time to all ourselves, some girls need to control their shit. Doesnt matter how ideal her body type, but still looks like a shit if they try to seduce someone boyfriend",

His words is the validation that i need.

Is there really something wrong with me ?

Commitment issue?

Now, having a awkwardness filling the atmosphere, no, it's only my feeling. Since the accident happened just now, Ran tried his best to comfort me with all he's got. Why cant i just appreciate all this ?

I am toxic myself. I dont deserved Ran Haitani.

All things happened, 3 days ago.

The vacation got me berserk. I distance myself from Ran, his text messaging, his call, i ignore everything that related to him. Even his brother contacting me to not go in silent, have some symphaty for his beloved brother.

You took your phone, and the screen displaying , 101 messages, 58 missed calls.

Get up from the bed, your throat feels so dry as you keep spacing out and thinking, of course, you got all the job done. Your performances in works still impressing, it just you didnt feel yourself anymore.

As you feed your cat, you heard the ring bell of your door. It must be Ran and you are right.

His hold full with flowers and your favourite meals,

" i know you havent properly eat since that day ".

How sweet this man can be.

I doubt myself. I doubt my commitment feeling to him, i shouldnt have. Being insecure over something that i know i shouldn't have, nothing easy, i know , the most important in this case, there's no point at all if im being stressed over something that dont have effort to overcome it.

Ran hold my cat and purring him just lile usual whenever he came over, sometime my amxiety getting worse, like what if he like my cat more than me. He realized your gaze om his hold, so, he have to let the cat go, the intention he came here in the first place is you.

Dragging my hand and take a seat on my couch like im his pet. Not complaint tho, i like it , he put on the drama that we both have been excited about since last month. You wanna know what's weird about this guy?

He like to gossip.

Just like what he did right now, he's bad mouthing Sanzu for not being competent when doing job, Koko theatrened them if they being late to work or Kakucho that being to nice to their business partnert, they should have rob the client in a lit of money but Kaku doesnt wanted that.

Being his listener, all you could do is laughing, he's being for real? Never thought Ran Haitani being a nosy person.

His talk getting more deeper, not deeper about his gossip but the consciousness of him try to dig back of "the problem" but he managed did that in smooth flows.

" Some people might love their life but decided to ended up their life, certain hated their life but still wanted to keep going on, the future in our hand but fate always win. Nothing wrong with feeling wrong, it just part of life, it's ok if you dont wanna struggle solving your problem, you can ran away as far as you can, it just a life, a puzzle, no one can really know what's going on next ".

" Ran Haitani, thank you for being here", You put the flowers that he used to bring whenver he try to convince you.

" Mom, is dad a hero ? ", you looked at your daughter, the image of Ran literally on her.

" Yes, he saved mommy from bad people ", the truth is, Ran's dead was cause by he saved an older woman from getting shot which happened when you in 5 months pregnant.

Just like Ran said, " not everything is going as we planned ", you are very thankful to his brother for being there to take place of Ran.

Rindou really love your daughter, " she just like Ran ", maybe Ran reborn into your daughter, he jokes.

The stone with Ran's name on it, was decorated beautifully, with a heavy heart, yoi have left the area once again.

Happy Birthday, Haitani Ran.

[ Dont worry, i've got two ending here ;)) ]

As Ran keep talking, instead of focusing on his words, i more into the way his lips move. " Cant resist them, huh ,baby ? After 3 days you didnt taste them ", yeah, no shit, you missed those lip.

Without wasting anytime, Ran kiss your lip , long and deep but the love he put intobit make you more addicted.

" i love you, y/n ", " i love you too, Ran. You stupid dumbass forget to bought my red velvet cake "

A few years,

The arguement between you two never been serious, it just a child arguement. That's how the cuddle session get into messy play, " HEY, never threw a foo- ", the popcorn that Ran just threw stuck on your strands hair, " you looks like a monster lady that never get a candy ", your daughter laughing at her own jokes, Ran pick her up, and threw her into the air, the chuckle from them both, really triggered you.

" Oh, nevermind, as someone threw a food away today, no dinner for today ", that sentence stopping them both in a second, you in the other hand, already stomping your feet to the bedroom, and you increasing your steps as you heard the siund of feet running to catch you.

Ran managed to catch you and brought you and your daughter into the soft mattress, " mommy, dont cry ", seeing his pouty daughter make him wanma tease you more, " yeah, mommy, no crying ", the laughed left your mouth, and hold the father-daughter tightly.

" im not crying, just feel sad you both tease mommy non-stop today", Ran felt bad for the way he acted today with mocking you all day, " im sorry, baby ", the dinner waa long forgotten, the three of you decided to order some food and watching the seriee that probably rated 15+, actually it is the daughter suggestion.

Looking back at how you not confident enought to build such a family like these make you wanna cry alone at the corner of bed. Never thought this the happiest moment of your life, Ran knew what's going on inside your head, so, he was caressing your top head, " everything is fine as we both wish, darling, i love you ", he looking at your eyes, the pure love indeed there.

And that's how you know, you always can moved on from your insecure as a helped from Ran.

Once again, this is my last fic for now as i took a very long rest :((

masterlist

#tokyo revengers #kantou manji gang #tokrev #bonten #ran haitani angst #ran haitani fluff #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani #ran x you #ran x y/n #ran x reader #ran imagines #ran headcanons #ran hcs #ran haitani fanfic #ran haitani imagine

[awalkthroughstellis]

Memory Lane

Warnings: Spoilers for Luke’s SR card “Radiant Sunlight”, Trigger Warning for mentions of health complications, mentions of violent crime and death

Summary: A stroll down memory lane leads to age old photos in need of repair. It’s amazing how old photographs can help make brand new memories.

I hummed along with the radio as I carefully used the feather duster on the delicate antiques lining the shelf. While a boring job for some, it was perfect for me. An antique store had its challenges but overall was a calm environment and didn’t require too much strenuous labour. It was almost impossible to overwork myself here.

The bell above the door rang, alerting me of a customer. Setting the duster aside, I headed over to greet them. A man dressed in a blue uniform was standing by the counter, a large black bag handing off his shoulder.

I put on my best smile. “Welcome to Time’s Antiquities, how can I help you?”

The man smiled back as he unzipped his bag. “I have a package delivery for…” Pulling a parcel from the bag, he read the label. “Robin Yishmir?”

For me? I haven’t ordered anything. If dating a detective has taught me one thing, it’s to never open packages I wasn’t expecting. That said, the delivery man was handling it without issue so the chances of something dangerous hiding inside were slim, but not impossible.

“That’s me.” I said, trying to hide my suspicion.

He produced a clipboard and a pen. “If you could just sign here, Miss.”

Accepting the pen from him, I signed on the line and bid the man farewell. Once he was out of the store window’s sight, I turned to the package and read the label. The sender’s address was one I knew by heart - it was my parents’ address.

An envelope was taped to the side of the package. Carefully peeling it off, I stuck my finger under the flap and lifted it, pulling the letter within free.

‘Your mother found some of your belongings while she was cleaning the attic. We figured they were better off with you. - Dad’

Short and to the point - that was Dad’s letter, alright. With a smile and a shake of my head, I set the package aside for later and got back to work.

Later that evening, after the shop closed for the night, I retired to the apartment on the third floor. Changing into my comfortable pajamas and settling on the couch with a blanket draped over my lap, I turned on the TV and continued the next episode of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’. It was a documentary series about, well, unsolved mysteries.

The door opened and I sat up, looking over the back of the couch. “Welcome home.”

Luke’s face flushed pink. We’ve been living together for a while now, but he still wasn’t used to my greeting. “Y-Yeah…”

I giggled and turned my focus back to the television, letting him take his shoes and jacket off in peace.

The detective suddenly sat down beside me, holding out a familiar package. “I found this on the counter in the shop.”

“Oh! I forgot about that. Thank you.” Pausing the show, I crossed my legs and set the box in my lap, tearing the brown paper it was wrapped in.

Inside the box were my high-school year books. I wasn’t sure about all schools, but mine made yearbooks for each grade regardless if they were freshmen or seniors. Four years, four books.

“I haven’t gone through these in forever.” I said, overwhelmed with nostalgia as I opened the book from first year. “Everyone looks younger then I remember.”

Luke pointed to a photo of a young girl. “Is that you?”

My cheeks started to burn. “Yeah.”

“You were adorable.”

I looked at him and raised a brow. “Were?’ I’m not adorable now?”

His coral eyes went wide in horror. “Th-That’s not what I meant! You are incredibly adorable!”

Unable to help myself, I burst out laughing and let my weight fall against his side. “I’m just teasing.”

The relief that crossed his face was somehow both playful and genuine. “You always catch me off guard when you do that.”

Laughing again, I pecked his cheek. “Forgive me?”

He pretend to think about it. “I guess… If you show me every single photo of you in these books.”

It was easy enough of a request to grant. Luke and I flipped through the yearbooks, and with each photo, an old memory came flying back to me. We spent over an hour on the couch, talking about my old friends and laughing a ridiculous stories about my classmates. I didn’t meet Luke until after high school, so flipping through these books was a way for him to get to know a part of my life that shaped me into who I am now.

Finished with the sophomore book, Luke picked up the senior. “Last one.”

A sad smile touched my lips. “I’m only in there once, and it’s not very pleasant, so…”

For someone who could be incredibly observant, he had his moments where he wasn’t. This was one of those times. “Aw, come on. I bet you look-” He opened the cover, words dying in his throat as his eyes went wide. “…Great.”

The first photograph in the book was of me in my hospital bed, surrounded by balloons, flowers and my classmates. The inside of the cover was covered in get well messages from my friends.

“I remember that day.” I said, breathing a small laugh as my head fell to rest on his shoulder. “My heart was having a lot of complications that summer and it carried on through the school year. I had a few surgeries and eventually, it was discovered that the company who made my pacemaker was a scam.”

“I remember that.” Luke said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “One of the seniors at the Bureau was looking into it. One of his family members also had a pacemaker from that company.”

“By the time mine got changed to a whole new brand, senior year was already over. The hospital staff threw me a graduation party in the cafeteria.” I paused, realizing something. “I’m making this sound much more depressing then it actually was.”

Luke closed the book and placed it on top of the others. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t have any graduation pictures either.”

This was news to me. “You don’t? Why not?”

He leaned back against the couch, bringing me with him. “I got busy with the Bureau and just didn’t have time. I bet Rosa has all our yearbooks from before I left Stellis. I’ll borrow them next time I see her.”

My grin stretched so wide it hurt. “Does that mean I get to see pictures of little Luke?”

His face fell, but I knew he was just joking. “You’re gonna make fun of me, aren’t you?”

“Me? Make fun of you? I could never.”

We burst into a fit of laughter, our faces drawing closer as if pulled together by magnets. Quick kisses were exchanged between giggles, this little moment soon disturbed by the TV unpausing itself.

“Oh! This episode is mind boggling.” I said, snuggling further into Luke’s side. “This guy supposedly fell through a roof, but it makes no sense how he landed were he did. I have a few theories, but even those have holes in them. Are you okay to watch this? I can change it if you’d like.”

Considering all the crime cases he dealt with on a regular basis, I tried to watch these things on my own. It’s not healthy for someone to be surrounded by this stuff all the time.

Luke shook his head. “This is fine, and now I’m curious as to what your theories are.”

~~~~~~~~~~

I glanced from Luke to the clock, and from the clock back to Luke. An elderly man walked into the shop this morning with an entire photo album he was hoping to get restored after it suffered severe water damage. The photographs were very old and although it wasn’t going to be easy, Luke gave his word that he would try.

It’s been eight hours and he’s still at it. I helped where I could but I wasn’t as good with my hands as he was. What I could do, though, was take care of him while he took care of the work.

“Luke,” I called his name as I came up behind him, leaning over and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “Don’t you think it’s time for a break? Your eyes and wrists must be sore.”

Stubbornly, he shook his head. “I’m okay. I’d rather get this done and back to the old man as soon as possible.”

The man hadn’t said it, but while we were going through the photos and organizing them from most to least damaged, Luke and I realized the album was a timeline of a love that ended too soon. The woman we suspected to be the old man’s wife stopped appearing in photos after what looked like a birthday party, and from then on, it was just a young man by himself, growing older and older with each picture.

“Okay.” I said, standing up straight. “I’m gonna go make you something to eat while you work.”

He flashed me a grateful smile before turning his focus back to the pictures. Heading upstairs, I put together a thick sandwich of sliced ham, turkey, cheese, mayonnaise and lettuce, also grabbing a bottle of water before returning to the shop. When I got back I found Luke slumped in his chair, looking a little lost.

Concerned, I set the plate and water on the edge of the desk, pulling a stool up beside him and taking his hand. “What’s the matter?”

“I was just thinking how painful these memories must be for the old man. Wouldn’t it be easier for him to just let this album go?”

I completely understood where he was coming from. I was one of the few people who knew of Luke’s condition, who knew his life was at risk to expire sooner then a normal young man his age should. Thinking of a life without him was torture, but being left with nothing of him would drive me insane.

Lowering my gaze, I gently played with his fingers. “I’m sure it’s very painful for him, but perhaps not having anything to look back on is even more painful in his eyes. Some people are worth knowing for a short while opposed to never knowing them at all.”

The hand I was holding wiggled free, moving to wipe a stray tear away. Guilt was evident on Luke’s face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Sniffling, I leaned my cheek into his palm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just got emotional, that’s all.” Looking for a way to change the subject, I glanced at the photos he was working on. “Those are some interesting statues in the background.”

“They’re from a local amusement park - quite a few of these photos seemed to have been taken there. I’ll have to go visit and get some pictures to fix the background on these. Do you want to come?”

Just like that, my watery eyes were dry. “I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Even though our purpose for visiting the amusement park was for pictures of the scenery, I couldn’t resist looking at it as a date. As such, I couldn’t help but dress a little on the girlie side today. I wore a cute but casual white dress that stopped a little above the knee, a red rose pattern decorating one side of the skirt and a pair of wedges, since I balanced in them better then heels. I curled my black-brown hair into soft beach waves and wore a little bit of makeup, enough to pull the look together but not overwhelm my skin.

“Your face is red, do you want to stop for something to drink?” I asked, looking up at the man walking next to me.

Luke shook his head, hand gently squeezing mine. “No, I’m fine. You just… You look incredible.”

A blush of my own attacked my cheeks. “Thank you.”

The park was busy but not overcrowded. The rides were going, people on the rides were screaming, kids were running around and laughing, having the time of their young lives.

Eventually, we came upon something I recognized. “Are those the statues from the photos?”

Luke nodded and guided me over. “They represent the twelve signs of the zodiac.”

I stared walking around the statues, listing them off as I went. “Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, where’s- ah! There’s Virgo.”

Virgo’s statue was that of a woman dressed in a robe with a wreath of flowers around her head. Her hands was outstretched, cradling a small bird in her palms. This is my sign. Luke is a Sagittarius.

“Robin.”

I turned my head in the direction of my name, only to be met with a camera shutter. Luke grinned as he put the lens down, looking at whatever he has captured on the screen.

Once again, I blushed. “You’re not supposed to be taking pictures of me…”

He winked. “What kind of photographer would I be if I let a moment like that pass by?”

A crime investigator for the National Security Bureau, a private detective, an antique store owner and a photographer as a hobby… what couldn’t this man do?

We spent hours in the park, collecting the replacement background images Luke needed and going on some of the more relaxed rides. By sunset my feet were starting to get sore, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Still, he noticed and practically forced me to sit on a nearby bench while he ran to grab ice cream.

Luke smiled as he returned, handing me a small paper cup with a plastic spoon sticking out of the dessert. “One scoop cookie dough, one scoop cookies and cream.”

I gasped dramatically, picking up the spoon and digging in. “My favourite. How ever did you know?”

Putting on a proud face, he sat beside me. “My investigators’ instinct is never wrong.”

Giggling, I stuck the spoon in my mouth. The bite of cookie dough was sweet without being too rich, and the chunks of softened cookies brought it to a whole new level. The cookies and cream was just as delicious. Luke also had two scoops, one chocolate and one strawberry.

“There’s something about amusement park ice cream that just hits different.” I said, finishing the last of it.

Luke took the empty cup from me and tossed it in the trash can on the other side of the bench. “The ice cream here has always been really good. The family that owns the shop has had the recipe for generations. I remember Rosa’s dad tried to get the employees to share the recipe, but they wouldn’t budge.”

I laughed, then noticing something stuck to the corner of his lips. “You have ice cream on your face.”

Lifting my hand, I used my thumb to wipe the chocolate off his skin, then licked it off my finger.

Luke went bright red from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears. “R-Robin…”

I looked at him oddly. “What? We kiss all the time.”

“Well, yes but…” With a sudden shake of his head, he jumped to his feet. “Never mind. Are you ready to walk again? We should get going before we’re late.”

“Late? Late for what?”

His only response was to smile and hold out his hand.

The walk only lasted a few minutes. Luke stopped us next to an elegant fountain surrounded by wooden benches and bountiful flower beds. We were the only ones around, strange for an amusement park. However, the sun was almost completely set so most of the visitors must have gone home already.

“This place is pretty.” I said, gently touching the petal of an orchid. “Do you need photos here?”

“Nope. We’re here for something else.”

I was about to ask what for, but a loud popping sound cut me off. My head turned up, watching firework after firework explode in the sky. Orange, red, silver and yellow, one unique shape after the next was made, shining next to the stars like man made constellations.

“Oh, wow.” I breathed, turning my back to Luke so I could see them without having to twist my neck.

Sensing him come up behind me, I let my weight fall against his chest. Luke’s arms wrapped around my waist, chin resting on the top of my head. His embrace was warm and safe, just as he himself was.

Before I met Luke, I didn’t really get to enjoy things like this. My heart condition has been pretty severe since birth, and while my adoptive parents encouraged me to try and live a normal life, I was too scared. There was always a fear in the back of my mind, a fear that my heart would give out in public and I’d cause a scene.

But with Luke, I didn’t feel that fear. He made me feel brave, and strong and protected. He accepted me in a way I didn’t think any lover could, was patient with me in the times anyone else would have walked away. Our conditions sucked, but they brought us together.

Wanting to see him, I turned in his hold. Luke’s head cocked to the side. “What’s the matter? Are you tried?”

Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck and shoulders. “Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

The flashes of light from the fireworks revealed the red in his cheeks. “I love you, too.”

This wasn’t the first time we’ve exchanged those words, but it made butterflies dance in my chest all the same. Thanks to the extra height of my wedges, Luke didn’t have to work very hard to reach my lips. My eyes fluttered shut as I kissed him back, mind taking a mental picture of this moment so that I never forgot it.

#tears of themis #x oc #tot luke #luke pearce

[tiny-yam]

I’m going to offer unsolicited advice about your osdd 1-b post so don’t read on if you don’t want that.

*･゜ﾟ･*🪻 🪶🤲🏼🫧🌦️🪷🐚🕊️🪺🌻 *･゜ﾟ･*

If your partner is faking it, it sounds like a pretty manipulative thing to do. That’s not to say that they’re a bad person or that they’re doing it on purpose.

If you do suspect you’re being gaslit/coerced focus on how it’s made you feel, and ask yourself about other times you’ve felt this way. Go through who, what, why, where, and when you’ve felt this way in the past. It puts things in perspective before you decide to take action. It’s important to forgive and work with people where they’re at in a relationship, however, you need to find a balance that’s most comfortable and optimal for you between your partners intentionally and outcomes.

I stayed in a shitty relationship for six years because my partner and I were young and figuring things out, and they (mostly) never meant to hurt me. But at the end of the day what they were doing was negatively impacting my life, even if they didn’t mean to. I had to live with the effects of their actions no matter what their intention was. And they would only change so much, and so slowly. I had to accept that this was the person I was binding my life to—not their intentions and words—and decide from there what I would do.

Best of luck and I hope this gets old to your partner soon and they go back to normal 💛 hope you have a good day and get to do something you enjoy

Oh my goodness you are so sweet, anon - this is wonderful advice (I'm gonna post this so others can see)! 🥺💛 I was actually talking about myself in this post - I have a new and "punitive" (if you will, in schema mode terms) alter that seems to be stuck in a trauma from when I was around 5yo. When I think back now and kind of assess things, I theorize that the split happened a few days ago when I accidentally (somehow; I honestly forgot) found out my boyfriend had bought me an engagement ring. We've been together for a little over 4 years and have discussed this in depth & beyond, so it wasn't an out-of-the-blue surprise to *me,* but it must have triggered something very deep that I didn't even know was festering. I've been seeing my trauma therapist for about 6 years now (it's only been 2 years since finding out about my system though), I've been on and off different meds since I was twelve (you name it, I've tried it)... and I *cannot* bridle the oppositional and antagonistic behavior of this alter even with my arsenal of coping methods/skills and personal knowledge of psychology and how childhood trauma works. My boyfriend knows very, very little - near to nothing - about OSDD/DID/MPD despite me quite literally begging him to learn at least the very basics, otherwise the disorder looks too messy, as if nothing can be done to help. I take full responsibility every time that alter says something out of line, because it's *still technically me* that said it. I don't blame my boyfriend for not knowing what to do about the behavioral pattern, either, because... how would he know? Even *I* don't know. And that breaks my heart, knowing that a part of me can just pop out and take over whenever, without my consent, and just... shatter everything Good in my life. I assume this 5yo part of me doesn't want marriage because I was left alone with strange men at that age. That's all I really need to say.

I made this post earlier out of frustration, after I switched back, because I remembered that there are people out there that *think* they want multiple personalities. Even if you don't have a "mean" alter, it isn't cool or fun or quirky or whatever it is people think. It wreaks havoc on every aspect of my life, even in tiny ways. Thank you again, anon, you're a good soul 💛🙏🏻🌱

#osdd 1b

[soir-rouges-esprit]

xxv.f: Destroyer, then watched as he sneezed, burped, and hiccupped all at the same time ... I played with him and put the collar around him, which he seemed not to mind much … time passes and dinner had been made, The Imp brings me a plate, sits next to me and turns on some random internet video over her TV “SCP-096 Documentary” and we begin to eat the Thai scallop sauté mixed with soft white rice and steamed broccoli covered in light dabs of soy sauce. “So … are you … ok?” Loaded question really “It's not supposed to be … ” well, I mean … I'm alive and still kickin ain't I? I'd say that's pretty good, wouldn't you? “*sigh* Stop … dodging the question. Come on … please?” *sigh* yeah … I'm ok, for the most part … just adjusting to a lot, trying to figure out more or less where I stand. “Where you stand? I hope you know, we're good … I care for you and I know you care for me, so you don't have to think, at least for me … that you're on the rocks or not important … I think about you more or less every day, at least once … so you know.” I had no doubts on us, or about you … and … Thank you, you mean a lot to me as well … especially now more than ever, you're important in ways I'd never be able to express to you Imp, not easily at least, especially with … my past transgressions and idiotic mistakes towards you, sorry again for it all btw, never meant to hurt you, just wanted to protect myself and others. *a smile and eyes as big as an Olympic swimming pool grew on her face* “Heheee! … Well … I … I-i don't really know what to say. I never expected … didn't think it possible for you to apologize to me … at least not the Red I used to know … and I get it you know, I'm sure you'd understand more than anyone what it's like to be treated as a monster or a threat … especially when in reality … you're just trying to love. I understand why you did what you did, I'd probably do the same if I was in the same situation, and had similar fears. It's ok, I forgive you.” Thank you … truly. I still feel responsible, however, a debt that must be repaid. “You weren't at fault … do you remember what you told me years ago at the lake? When we all gathered around for The Jesters' birthday party?” Um … I don't, no, what was it? “Never save those truths from the heart for a rainy day, lest you'll drown in regret … speak to everyone worth a damn” “like they're You” … anything other than that … is a shitty mask, keeping you from seeing what's really going on in the moment. “Yep! You got it … I thought about that for years, especially during college, there were plenty of times I just … would put on a mask or persona, and just kind of pretend I was something or someone I wasn't … every time I recognized that, I remembered that. I tried to just, stop and switch back to what I wanted to say/do and just move on … it helped a lot … thank you.” Thank you for telling me, what was your greater point to all that though? I don't follow sorry. “It's not your fault what you did … I think you maybe put on a mask because you didn't honestly remember how to deal with inner group conflict … and in the end … it ended up hurting me yes, but not because you were purposely doing so, or at least, not in a way that I know you were trying to … you as you said, were just trying to protect. You just forgot/maybe got caught up in the whole situation and made a few rash decisions. I mean … am I right?” You're absolutely right … I hadn't even honestly thought of it like that before, partially because I feel more or less like I'm not immune, but more so … less prone to those types of situations, it's hard to accept honestly, the realization that I slipped … part of that “adjusting” I was talking about … need to learn how I ticked … need to reestablish the order of operations and become … Old … again … haha, if that crazy nonsense even makes sense ... [To Be Continued]

#creative writing #writing #original story #the imp

[chaosandbeauty97]

No words and action that can help me to bring you back to me. This might be just a wind that will pass to your face and fly that pass by your ears but at least please let hear me out.

I made this all up but then here I am beside you but not with you. That's completely different but anyways. I genuienly want to thank you and your family for letting me stay here, go here every now and then for 7 years. Thanks for letting me taste good home cooked food. Thank you for welcoming me open arms before. This home has been my home. It witness my struggles, our struggles, and our Love.  Your room has been my safe place for a long time when I feel like running away from ours. You were upset before because pag nandito ako puro tulog lang ako.. kasi dito lang ako payapa, nandito ka, nakikita kita, nararamdaman kita. You know that feeling? Hindi kailangan ng anong salita to feel that you are in the state of equilibrium after being in the crumbling cave walls. Just to see you and feel you are more than enough for me. 

I can no longer run here, I can no longer hide, I can no longer shelter here when the things are rough.. when the things are consuming me. . same with you are no longer my safe space not because I don't want too but because you've already moved on.  Now, I am not the person na gusto mo na samahan sa battles. I am not that woman anymore. 

Now, can you close your eyes?  Take time to forgive yourself for loving me. Forgive yourself for tolerating me that leads you to this mess. Forgive yourself for doing a right thing at that moment. Forgive yourself for things that you feel heavy.

Take time to heal. Take time to feel. Take time to get angry. Take time to feel regret. Take time to feel fear.

I hope someday you can forgive me too. Forgive me for not acknowledging you. Forgive me for bringing so much pain. Forgive me for throwing words that were not meant to be said. Forgive me for days and months that I ignored you and you felt nothing. Forgive me. Forgive me for everything I did.

And I forgave you for leaving me, I forgave you that you stop loving me. I forgave you when you abandoned me. I forgave you that were the reason why I can't fall asleep. I forgave you with everything that you feel is not right because you left me. I forgave you for falling in love with other woman. I forgave you for not choosing me.

And for me I can only forgive myself if treat you right. 

I wish the next time I write a letter and read for your is during our wedding. Maybe someday I will already write a Vow not a forgiveness for my wrong doings nor a begging letter for you to come back.

As of now, I'll still write letters for you and keep it for myself.. but you can always read it online.

Pagod na din ako umiyak, masktan, malungkot, mag-isip pero wala akong magagawa this is all the consequence I will pay. If this is God's will and universe will to put KARMA in my face and to punish me go lang. If it takes another 7 years, Go.

I'll always love, want and need you from the moon and back. No matter what you say it will never go away.

One of the reason why we failed to save this relationship because we forgot to ask above a guidance, a blessing to continue, a blessing to start over again. We forgot to pray and give thanks for having each other. I realized that because when you left me I questioned him every night... every why I have in my mind.

Next time we try again if he allows. Let's pray to him our worries. Let's pray to him our fears. Let's pray to him our regrets. Let's pray to him our love. 

Ang dami na nating nakikita sa social media na iba't ibang opinyon on how we should love, how we should live, how we should control our life. We failed to look for the real guidance.

I pray for you. I pray for us. 

Thank you for hearing me out. I love you.

Tapos na ko sa Eat part, nasa Pray na ko and for Love I hope it leads me to you opening the doors for me again.

[mackenzielovee]

Hi bestie, your writing is just 👩‍🍳💋. If possible to do a y/n with Rafe where they fight and reader sleeps in the guest room. When Rafe realizes y/n is not in their bedroom goes and sleeps in the guest room with them.

a/n: hey baby! thank you so much for requesting this. it was fun to write. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: swearing, smut (fingering, kissing), mentions of drug use/abuse

Word Count: 2.4k+

my writing

apologies - rafe cameron

You stop pacing Rafe's bedroom to check your phone once again. The time keeps ticking by, and Rafe keeps not calling you back. He was supposed to be home hours ago; the two of you had plans to go out to the dock and eat dinner, hanging out and watching the sky. He had told you to be at his house at eight. It's now nearing midnight, and you haven't heard a peep. You pick up your phone to dial him again just as his door knob turns and Rafe slowly peaks his head in the room.

When he brings his eyes up to yours, he smiles quickly and sweetly, knowing he's in trouble but trying to soften to you up. You throw your phone back down on his bed and turn around, setting your hands on your hips and taking a deep breath. At least he's fine.

"Hey, baby," Rafe speaks, his voice sickeningly sweet.

You turn back around and watch as he carefully enters the room and closes the door, putting his back up against it. It's like he's trying to take up as little room as possible.

"Well, now that I know you're alive, I'm just gonna go home," you sigh, picking up your phone once again from the bed. Rafe takes a step forward, then another, then sets his hands on your arms to try and stop you from moving.

"No, baby, please don't leave," he says. Your eyes flicker up to his, and you instantly notice how bloodshot they are. You take another deep breath and close your eyes, ready to ask him the question you know you don't want the answer to.

"Rafe," you start, your voice calm, "Please tell me you are not high right now."

"I'm not high right now," Rafe says too fast. You look up at him again and can tell instantly that he's lying.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Rafe?" you raise your voice, squirming from his grip, "You're almost four hours late, you come back high, and then you lie about it?"

"Don't fucking yell at me, all right?" Rafe says, even though he raises his voice at you in return.

You roll your eyes and start grabbing your stuff, shoving it into your bag. You just want to go home and not deal with all of this right now.

"Where are you gonna go?" he asks you, his voice thick and accusing.

"Home," you mutter. Rafe scoffs, earning your attention.

"It's midnight and raining out. Just fucking sleep here and we'll work it out in the morning."

You roll your eyes at him and continue stuffing shit into the bag. Rafe comes over and grabs onto your wrists, stopping you from packing.

"Baby," he says, his voice softer, "Just chill for a second so I can explain, okay?"

You shrug and nod, telling him silently to go ahead and try to explain himself. He swallows before he speaks, so you know this will be good.

"Okay, well, I was out, y'know, with Topper and Kelce, right? We were at the Club. And Barry came by and started saying some shit to me and it just turned into a mess, okay? I had to handle shit with my sister and her dumbass friends and Topper's all pissed off because she's with John B now-"

"Rafe," you stop him, "I'm missing the part where you forgot to call for four hours and then got high."

He stares down at you, looking almost blindsided by the fact that you're asking him that, then nods his head.

"Okay, yeah," he says, more to himself than to you, "I uh, I lost my phone for a bit."

"You lost your phone for a bit?" you repeat, "Like, it died?"

Rafe considers that for a moment, then ultimately shakes his head.

"No, I just lost it at the Club."

You laugh and nod your head, finally understanding, "Oh, so you were too coked out to keep track of your shit? Nice, Rafe. I'm really glad you felt the need to get high out of your mind before you spend the night with me. That makes me feel really good."

You side-step him and continue to collect your things while Rafe throws his hands up in the air out of frustration.

"Jesus, that's not what it's about," he groans, "Barry showing up just threw me off and it fucking stressed me out-"

"You don't have to do coke every time you get stressed out, Rafe!" you turn and scream at him. He moves his head back and stares at you, clearly hurt by your outburst.

"Okay, look, I apologized-"

"You didn't, actually," you interrupt him, watching as Rafe replays this whole interaction over in his head and realizes he, in fact, has not actually apologized.

"All right. I am so sorry that I wasn't home on time and that I didn't call. Some shit just came up and I had to handle it but it was shitty of me not to call. If the tables were turned, I'd be mad, too. So, I'm sorry, baby."

Your shoulders fall as you start to melt under his term of endearment for you. Even after being together for so long, him calling you 'baby' still makes butterflies go crazy in your stomach.

"I accept your apology," you say quietly, watching his eyes shoot up to yours and a grin erupt on his face, "But I'm still gonna go home. You wasted my night, Rafe. I just want to be by myself."

His eyes fall to the floor again as he speaks, "It's pouring. Please just stay. I'll drive you home in the morning."

You stare at the boy, the man, you love so much and give in. Him worrying about you is always enough to make your heart melt, no matter how mad you can get at him.

"Fine," you mumble, dropping your bag onto the floor of Rafe's bedroom.

Rafe comes over and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close and holding you tightly. He pretends to not get upset when you don't return his hug. You're still mad, annoyed, and frustrated.

"I'm gonna go shower," you tell him as you pull away.

He wants to ask if he can join you, but he knows you're not in the mood for him to be playing around. So, he lets go of you and watches as you walk over to his bathroom door and close the door behind you.

You take a long shower. The warm water feels so good on your stressed muscles and Rafe being in the other room and not with you is comforting as well. Of course, you love him, but you also love your space and need to not be around him sometimes.

When you come out of the bathroom, only wrapped in a towel, you find Rafe fast asleep on his side of the bed. You try not to be upset with him because you know he had a stressful day and hr's exhausted, but you're also mad because of everything plus the fact that he's high and pretty much just passed out on you.

You pick up one of Rafe's shirts from the floor and then slide a pair of his boxers on, then grab your phone and head for the door. There's a guest room down the hall from Rafe's bedroom that you are going to sleep in, because you want to be alone and you really don't want to listen to Rafe snore all night after he's already irritated the shit out of you.

Your bare feet scurry across the hardwood floor and over to the guest room door, quietly pushing it open and slipping inside. You pull the covers back on the bed and crawl inside, relieved to be cuddling into a bed even if it isn't your own. The sleep is already trying to take over your body, so you don't even have time to browse your phone. It's time for sleep.

Almost the second your head hits the pillow, you're out. All of that worrying about where Rafe had been and if he had been okay had really worn you out.

You're waken up from your sleep when you hear the guest bedroom door creak open. Everything in the Cameron house is ancient, so everything creaks and cracks. You turn around in the bed and face the door, seeing your boyfriend's face squished in the doorway. He smiles softly when he sees you, but you can still see the sleep lining his eyes.

"Rafe," you grumble, pulling the sheets over your head.

"Baby," he says back, a playfulness in his voice.

He comes into the room and closes the door softly behind him. You feel him try to pull the sheets up from your grip, so you pull them tighter.

"Scoot over, baby," he whispers, so you sigh but obey.

Rafe breaks the sheets from your grasp and dives into the bed beside you, quick to wrap one of his arms around you and pull you close.

"I was worried when I woke up and you were gone," he admits to you, staring at the ceiling, "Why are you sleeping in here?"

You sigh, not really wanting to talk. You just want your sleep. Clearly, Rafe has other plans.

"You were already asleep when I got out of the shower," you say, attitude present in your voice.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he says quickly, "I just crashed."

You want to make a comment about how, of course he crashed, because he was high when he got home. Instead, you move your head down to his chest, making him relax.

"It's okay," you barely whisper.

Rafe sighs, knowing it's not, "I'm going to do better."

You don't respond. You can feel yourself starting to get emotional at his promises, because he's made them before.

"I mean it, baby," he tells you when you don't answer, "I really fucked up tonight. I know that. I never, ever meant to skip out on a date with you or make you angry with me. I made a really bad judgment call and it will never happen again."

You bury your face into his chest, finally allowing yourself to completely breathe him in for the first time tonight. Although Rafe screws up a lot, one thing he does well is apologize. He's said absolutely everything that you have wanted to hear since he ran late tonight.

"Promise me," you say against him, feeling your tears start to come up again.

"I promise you."

You look up at him in the darkness, then crawl up against his body to leave a kiss on his lips. It's gentle and sweet, leaving Rafe wanting more when you pull away.

"I forgive you," you tell him, bringing a hand up to play with his hair. He closes his eyes under your touch, grateful to have such an amazing woman by his side.

"I love you so much, baby," he whispers.

"I love you, too," you reply, then sit up in the bed.

You crawl on top of your boyfriend, feeling him sit up so you can have a better seat on his lap. You straddle him and bring your lips down his cheeks and to his neck, knowing you're getting to him when he moves his head to the side to give you more space to work with.

"Mmm," he hums, his hands falling all the way back to shamelessly grab your ass.

"Just because we missed our date doesn't mean we have to skip out on the best part," you whisper in his ear, purposely trying to drive him crazy. It works, because he lets out a moan at your words.

"Holy shit, that's right, baby," he nods, leaning forward and kissing you. He bites your bottom lip and pulls it back before he let's go, knowing you love when he does that.

"You're gonna take care of me, right?" you ask him, keeping your voice low.

He brings one hand around from your ass and starts to rub you through his own boxers you have on, smirking when he realizes why the fabric feels so familiar.

"Don't I always?" he asks, "You were so mad at me earlier, and still put my fucking boxers on, huh?"

You grin but bury your head in his neck so he can't tell. Rafe's smirk just widens when you don't respond, so he slowly and carefully brings his hands up to the top of the boxers, then bringing his hands down to your core. You know he's going slow on purpose to tease you, and it's working. He always drives you crazy.

"Rafe," you finally whine, wanting him to do something other than graze your center.

"Hmm, baby? You want more?"

He smirks when he can feel you get even wetter as he speaks. He knows exactly what turns you on.

"Yes, please," you nod, doing your best to not sound impatient.

"So polite, baby," he grins, bringing his lips to your cheek and down to your neck as he pushes his fingers in you.

You moan as two fingers enter you, feeling Rafe start to move them in and out immediately. His grin only widens as he watches you, even being able to see you with your mouth open through the darkness.

"Keep going," you tell him, moaning once again at how good he feels.

He starts to go faster, then brings his other hand up to your mouth and sticks two of those fingers in your mouth.

"I want to hear you," he says quietly, "I know how loud you can get. But I don't want to get us in trouble. Okay, princess?"

You nod, sucking on his fingers in your mouth. He moans and moves his fingers in and out of you even faster. He feels you clench around him, so he knows you're ready. He looks up into your eyes and then pushes his fingers back further into your mouth.

"Come for me, baby, I've got you."

You nod and clench again, then come only a minute later. He smirks as he removes two separate sets of his fingers from your body, bringing the ones that been buried inside your core up to his lips.

"Jesus," you groan, watching him as he licks his fingers clean through the darkness.

"You better not be exhausted, I'm not done with you yet," he warns you.

You smile and lean forward, kissing him roughly and moving your hips against his. He moans in your mouth, not being able to contain himself.

"Shit," he swears when you pull away, "I'm gonna fuck up more often."

#drew starkey #rafe imagine #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe x y/n #rafe fanfiction #rafe outer banks #rafe fic #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe #outerbanks rafe #outer banks netflix #outerbanks netflix #outerbanks #outer banks #obx fanfiction #fanfic