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shelbgrey · 1 year

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Love Story(Jackson Avery X reader)

Paring: Jackson x Sloan!Reader

Summary: Jackson's mother is paying him and Seattle grace a visit. Y/n also has to meet her boyfriend's mother dispite her fears of Catherine's disapproval.

Warrings: none. Catherine talks trash a bit but that's all

Greys MasterList

You really don't know what someone else is going through till you walk in their shoes. Y/n was a simple person. She didn’t really care to become a top tear or known person in the surgical world, she just wanted to help people. That's what made her different from the other residents and her friends. She was also different from her older brother Mark. While he worked hard to make himself big in the plastics world she planted her roots in the OBGYN world. She liked helping babies. They were pure and innocent in her eyes, she also wanted to help mothers. It was a coping mechanism for her because she didn't have a mom to call her own…like ever, Mark raised her and so did Derek’s mother.

(1st pov)

Me and Jackson were both still young in both the medical and mentally when we both met. We were also expected to be sworn enemies the moment his hospital merged with mine. When he first joined my friends looked down upon him and his friends. To Mer and the others the Mercy westerns were invaders in orange scrubs. They weren't to me….well Charels Percy and the Reed girl maybe.

The day Jackson got paired up with me was quite impressed. Not with his looks or the fact he was an Avery but because of his skill set. I also felt bad about the presser that was clearly on his shoulders. He stood there carrying the Avery name expecting the best. I grew a soft spot and I started showing the respect he deserved.

Since this is our story I might add the first thing I noticed about him was his eyes. He had beautiful eyes. And his smile…when he smiled i couldn't help but smile too, he had that effect on me and everyone else seemed to notice the effect we had on each other…everyone except us at the time. At the time not too many people didn’t want to believe it and even tried to sabotage it at times.

Mark and Derek were the first to accept it, them being my brother and best friend why wouldn't they. The two were also the first to see me have my little freak out about a certain woman coming to visit the hospital. The night Jackson told me his mother was coming to the hospital I didn't sleep the rest of the night, I just couldn't. I thought about the disappointment on her face when she was the type of girl Jackson chose to be with. I was smart and pretty, yes, but I didn't come from a wealthy family like Jackson did and I didn't have a last name everyone knew. I also wasn’t obsessed with winning a Harper Avrey award like most doctors my age. I kept asking myself ‘what if she hates me?’ I didn't dare ask Jackson that because I knew he’d just tell me what I wanted to hear despite his fear of his overbearing mothers arrival.

The day of Catherine Fox’s arrival I was quieter than usual. Jackson noticed first as I got ready. He even questioned why I was doing my hair and make-up differently. My hair was usually in a pony-tail but today it was down and slightly curled. When we got to the hospital Jackson kissed me good-bey once the elevator opened and we parted ways.

As the day went on I successfully avoided her. But I also hadn’t seen Jackson all day, which probably meant Catherine found him and is dragging him around despite his pleas of being left alone. I was quietly doing charts at a nurses station when Mark came up to me with a confused face.

“What did you do to your hair?” he asked. I sighed and started nibbling on my pencil, a nervous habit I had since the 2nd grade.

“Jackson’s mother is here” Mark rolled his eyes.

“So I've seen, she was quick to say Jackson was wasting his time in plastics” Mark sighed. I knew Catherine’s snide commits about the Plastics industry might have gotten to him a bit. Some people miss the fact that my brother does more than just face lifts and boob jobs.

“I haven’t run into her yet…” I said carefully not wanting to jinx myself. It's not that i didn;t want to met my boyfriends mother, I just kept imaging the worst when she meets me.

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“You want to scrub in on a surgery? Mark said you needed something to do” Derek said coming up to me and handed me a chart with a smile. Derek and I are thick as thieves. Don't tell Mark but me and him have always been a bit closer.

The patient would be needing a OBGYN on stand by(meaning me) and a neurosurgeon both. The mother had been in a car crash and had suffered a brain bleed while being 7 months pregnant.

“Sure I’m not busy” Derek smiled and we both headed towards OR3. We scrubbed in and I tied my Ravenclaw scrub cap on while Derek grabbed his furry boat one.

Not long into the surgery the women I've been trying to avoid joined our little surgery with Bailey. Me and Derek shared a quick glance as Cathrine put on a pair of gloves. “I heard about this poor girl and I had to see if you needed a hand.”

Derek being the head surgeon of this surgery he looked up then nodded. “Sure, why not”

Cathrine nodded and put a mask on. She unknowingly chose her spot next to me. I froze up slightly as I watched the fetal monitor for the unborn baby.

(3rd pov)

Since filled the OR except for Derek’s occasionally mumbling and the beeping of the heart monitor. Breaking the silence Bailey looked among the other doctors and spoke. “Does anyone know about her husband?”

y/n looked up from the fetal monitor and spoke. “We're trying to contacted him now, we haven't had an answer for over an hour”

The doctors later found out the woman was divorced and the father of the unborn child couldn't care less. With Derek being the family man he was, it didn't set right. y/n looked at the sonogram of the baby sadly knowing what it's like not to have a dad around.

Bailey sighed. “I couldn't imagine being left by the one person i thought loved me”

Catherine was next to chime in. “it's a shame but sadly not all relationships last forever” she glanced around again and continued. “Are you married, Dr. Shepherd?”

Derek glanced up. “Yes I am” he smiled through his mask at the thought of Meredith.

Somehow the conversation shifted back to Catherine and she brought up Jackson and his girl. She was unknown to the mother and had no idea y/n was standing next to her. All she was to Catherine was a resident surgeon in a ravenclaw scrub cap.

“I'm not saying love is a waste of time but I have yet to meet this girl my son seems to be so infatuated with…” Catherine said, making Derek and Bailey both look at y/n.

“Dr. Sloan is a good surgeon…Avery and her make a good coupe” Bokie smiled through her mask as she handed Derek another tool. y/n smiled softly at the older women but not ready to introduce herself to her possible future mother-in-law.

Catherine raised her eyebrows, surprised at the last name the girl shared with another certain plastic surgeon. “Oh she's a sloan” she didn’t mean to sound the way she did, we’ll give the benefit of a doubt but she sounds annoyed and possibly disappointed.

“Can only imagine what she’s like,” Catherine continued. Derek and Bailey shared glances as y/n kept silent. While Catherine believed Jackson had more potential than just plastics her mind geared towards the thoughts and feeling that y/n was a distraction for Jackson and someone who convinced him to go into plastics. The last one may be true but she only supported jackson on what HE wanted to do.

Derek knew y/n wouldn’t speak up and he wasn't gonna stand by while a woman who he did respect tarnished his best friend's names. “y/n is en excellent surgeon and trust me your son and her are meant to be”

Catherine scoffed at that. “All due respect dr. shepherd i think jackson is a bit too naive and i believe that she maybe a distraction”

Distraction…is that all she saw her as? y/n thought for a moment and all the old insecurities came flooding back into her mind. y/n looked back at the fetal monitor gulping nervously. She started tapping her foot as the anxiety started to get to her.

“love blinds us” she said like she was speaking from experience.

Derek sighed in frustration and y/n quickly shook her head to shut him up. He took a glance at their patient then back at y/n. “How’s the baby doing doc?” he repreced from saying her name but it was safe to say he was talking to her.

She looked up and adjusted her ravenclaw scrub cap. “B-baby’s heart is getting stronger by the minute.” she stuttered.

As they continued Jackson walked into the gallery to see what his girl was doing. He smiled happily at her as she continued to watch the baby’s heartbeat. I didn’t seem like much but he was always proud and would point out the talented OBGYN he got to call his girlfriend. Him being up there was unknown to both her and his mother. What was unknown to him was the comments his mother was throwing to the girl she didn’t even know was there.

Jackson then frowned when he saw his mother down there too. She had pestered him most of the morning and he feared she was doing the same to y/n before he could even introduce her to Catherin.

Derek just shook his head as he listened to Cathrine harmless but also off hand commits about Jackson and the relationship that probably won't last. Her words not anyone else's.

After the successful surgery was over y/n delivered the baby and took the little girl to the nursery while Derek and bailey closed up. y/n smiled softly as she cleaned and dressed the new life and put her in the nursery with the rest of the babies. After she was one she watched the baby through the nursery window for precaution.

“Hey baby” Jackson whispered and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She sighed and rested the back of her head on his shoulder while rubbing the muscular arms that were around her.

“How’s the baby?” he asked, looking over her shoulder through the window. y/n smiled and pointed out the baby. “Pretty strong for a 7th month old…she’s right there” she chuckled.

Jackson smiled and kissed the side of her head. “Did my mother play nice?” he asked. Her mood quickly changed and it didn’t go unnoticed by Jackson. Jackon sighed and turned her around to face him.

“What did she say?” he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t meet his eyes and looked everywhere except for him. “N/n?”

“She didn’t even know i was in there…but i guess she already a had a pretty good idea of who i was” she knew if she told him anything more he’d only get more pissed and the last thing she wanted to do was break Jackson’s relationship with his mother.

Jackson took a deep breath and looked down. “I'm sorry-” y/n started but Jackson cut her off with a soft kiss. He held her face in his hands and kissed the part of her forehead that was still coerced by her scrub cap.

“I don't care what my mother thinks, I love you and that's what matters” he spoke softly.

From afar Cathrine was walking alone till she stopped suddenly at the sight of her son with a girl. Not just any girl, it was the girl with the ravenclaw scrub cap that was with her in surgery. She quickly hid behind the corner and peaked behind it just as Jackson gave her a kiss goodbye.

She sighed realizing the things she said in front of her. She watched her son leave and y/n started to walk towards her direction and that's when Catherine hid around the corner letting y/n pass. As y/n stood at the nurses station filling out a chart for the baby girl Cathrine approached her.

“Hello y/n” she said softly. y/n gulped and awkwardly smiled.

“Oh hey Dr. Avery, how are you?” Catherine shook her head with apologetic look.

“Dear call me Cathrine and I want to apologize for my actions” she put her hand on y/n’s shoulder and smiled. “Why don't we start over hm? Clean slate”

y/n nodded and smiled. “Sure, i’d love that”

Catherine nodded. “If it's alright with you i’d like to take you and Jackson out to dinner tonight…I'd like to get to know you better” y/n nodded with a smile still slightly afraid of her disapproval. She nodded and told her she’d pass the message to Jackson.

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Later that night y/n stood outside under the entrance arch sheltering herself from the rain. The sound calmed her as she leaned against the was waiting for jackson.

“Hey beautiful” Jackson smiled and leaned against the wall next to her watching the rain fall. y/n smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“You nervous?” he asked, referring to the dinner they were supposed to attend with his mother.

“Kinda, are you?” she asked. Jackson gave her a serious expression. “I'm not, no matter what she think won't change anything between us”

She smiled lovingly at him then looked back at the rain until Jackson tugged her arm pulling her towards the rain. She giggled. “What are you doing?”

He pulled her into the partly empty parking lot and twirled her around in the rain. “We're dancing it out, come on” he laughed. She laughed and danced along with him as the rain fell around them.

She danced with him a little longer till she bumped into his chest, shivering. Jackson chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Okay, come on, you're shivering” he pulled her into his car and turned up the heat. Silence fell until they looked at each other. Both in their Navy scrubs soaking wet. They burst out laughing savoring the moment.

“Well let's go get some dinner” he said, letting his laughter die down. y/n’s eyes widened.

“Jacks, I can't meet your mother like this! I smell like rain and hospital” y/n slightly laughed.

Jackson kept one hand on the wheel and sniffed the inside of his elbow. He looked at his girlfriend and shrugged. “I do too”

y/n sighed and rolled her eyes with a smile. “Trying to prove a point or something? I want to at least look decent”

Jackson shrugged and placed her hand on her knee. “Well, we're doctors, she'll understand,” he said simply. He simply didn’t care about their appearance at this point. Yes he does want his mother to like y/n but then angina he doesn't need her approved. Hell love y/n no matter what anyone else says. But he also wanted his mother to see exactly who she is. The kind and laidback girl he fell in love with and them going to dinner in the condition they were in showed that.

#jackson avery x reader #Jackson avery imagines #Jackson avery #jessie willcox smith #greys anatomy #derek shepherd imagines #Greys anatomy imagines #Greys #Miranda Bailey #Bailey x reader #Catherine fox #derek shepherd #Catherine avery x reader #Mark Sloan #Mark Sloan x reader #Mark sloan imagines

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seriousbrat · 1 month

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what do you think lily's flaws were likely to have been? I hear so many people complain about her being a "Mary Sue" and I feel like it's true that the narrative doesn't really give us problems with her character in the way that it does for James/the other marauders.

Love this question!! I actually think we do see some of Lily's flaws in the narrative, they're just not quite as obvious (or grievous) as Sev's or James's.

In her conversations with Sev in the Prince's Tale, we see that she's willing to overlook pretty unforgivable behaviour because of her friendship with/loyalty towards Sev. He's friends with Mulciber and Avery, he calls the attack on Mary 'a laugh'. In the post-SWM conversation, she displays awareness that Sev calls other people 'mudblood'. Sure, she's not okay with it, but she still tolerates it; it's not until this actively affects her that she decides to end the friendship. I read this as a mixture of naïveté but also just willing blindness. She knows better deep down, but chooses to ignore it because of her love for Sev.

Another thing Lily-haters tend to harp on is her defending James, Sev's bully, to him in this conversation. And I do somewhat agree (although I think it's ridiculous to hold this as worse than everything Sev does to her) but I think it's another sign of her willingness to overlook certain behaviours that she shouldn't. She wants to believe that there's good in everyone because that's easier than facing reality. I don't read this line as 'you should forgive James for everything', I read it more as 'why can't everyone get along because that would be easier than dealing with conflict'. In some ways she's right, because there is good in both Sev and James-- it's somehow both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. This blind trust is what gets her killed, it's what causes her so much pain in SWM, but it's also what saves her son in the end.

Another thing I think we see in SWM is her temper. Like I've said I think Harry gets his anger issues from Lily rather than from James, and I think she's impulsive, reckless, quick to anger. She leads with her heart. It would have been more rational to get a teacher but she dives into the confrontation personally. She insults both James and Sev pretty viciously in this scene (totally deserved, but still). Her giant squid rant is not some well thought out moral indictment of James's character or actions but an emotional response, a personal attack borne of anger. It's very similar to Harry's numerous all caps rages throughout OotP in which he takes out his anger on the people around him.

When thinking about Lily I think it's fair to extrapolate from Harry's character, because they're meant to be similar. Thematically, DH is largely about Harry realising that he's much more like Lily than he realised. Dumbledore says he was counting on Hermione to slow Harry down: Harry represents the intuitive approach, Hermione the logical. Too much reliance on intuition can't save the day, but neither can too much reliance on logic. It's about balance. Sev is the Hermione to Lily-- his learned ability to put aside his emotional needs and impulses for the greater good is ultimately how Lily protects her son through him.

#lily evans #that got long sorry but it always does when i talk about lily lol #or about anything. ive got to have my little essays #also i'm not saying harry's behaviour isn't understandable!!! it totally is im a harry defender 4life #but it is a flaw that he has.#i honestly see lily as more reckless than james weirdly enough. like i think james deep down is fairly pragmatic and thoughtful #he just represses this part of himself as a teen because he doesn't value it #this is the difference btwn him and sirius. sirius didn't think about the consequences of the prank. james immediately grasped them.#'the risk would have made it fun for james' not adult james. not james who faced voldemort to buy his wife and child time to escape #but sirius is so stuck in the past that he glorifies teenage james rather than learning the same lessons #again i think this is understandable given what sirius has been through. but ultimately irresponsible #meta #lily

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 25 days

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tig characters/couples as ts songs - rebecca and tolerate it

not only is this my favorite taylor song ever, but it's also a song rebecca would relate to. i've been wanting to make this post ever since i first read this series because i immediately thought of this song when i first met rebecca in the books. its been a while since i first read the books, but i'm currently rereading them so...

too lazy to proof read (as always)

"i notice everything you do or don't do you"

rebecca spent her entire life looking after emily from the sidelines, watching her, trying to be like her etc. she knows everything there is to know about emily, but emily doesn't know her the way she does her. not only did she never even make an effort to, but she also convinced her that, out of the two of them, she was more worth knowing. rebecca's parents grew up dotting on emily while rebecca was forced to watch them pretend her away. emily is who rebecca wishes she was.

"you're so much older and wiser and i use my best colors for your potraits... and watch you tolerate it"

emily tended to convince rebecca that she knew best, and that her needs were more important that hers. rebecca couldn't date thea because she wanted to please her sister, but what about her? although the older part doesn't apply, the way emily acted around rebecca (based on the interactions rebecca told avery about and stuff) makes me think of the way an older sister/brother might make their younger siblings feel lesser than or like their opinions don't matter. emily wasn't older, but she acted like she was, and made rebecca seem childlike (at least to me) (i can imagine her telling rebecca things like 'are you stupid, listen to me, i know what's best for you, people won't like you if you do this). emily's a master manipulator and it honestly wouldn't surprise me. rebecca clearly felt the need to prove herself to her sister. she made rebecca feel so insignificant and unworthy that not even her hair was hers. rebecca referred to it as 'out hair' when talking to avery because she can't ever have something for herself.

rebecca tended to ignore all the red flags because emily is her sister. thus, using her best colors for her portrait. emily would give her all of this advice and tell her she knew best, making rebecca sort of look up to her in a twisted, sick way. emily was so above rebecca in bec's head. not even emily's manipulations and hurtful comments and actions could change that.

rebecca felt the need to impress emily because of all of this, but emily didn't care. she was number 1, and rebecca always came second to her, no matter what. nothing rebecca did or said ever impressed her.

"i take your indiscretions all in good fun"

like i said, rebecca would ignore all of her bullshit and wrong doings because emily convinced her she was lesser than her. when you love someone so much, you tend to ignore the red flags because you don't want to admit to yourself that this person is actually no good, and you should leave them behind (like how people in abusive relationships sometimes have a hard time leaving their partner). rebecca couldn't imagine a life without emily in it.

everyone around her thought so highly of her, so why shouldn't she? if everyone else could forgive her so easily, why shouldn't she? emily's her sister, and admitting that she doesn't really see you as one and just sees you as an extension of herself is hard to admit to yourself. admitting that means accepting that you never meant anything to your own sister.

"while you were out there building other worlds where was i"

this is sort of the turning point for her. after emily's death, it became easier for her to accept that emily was a horrible person and hurt everyone around her (this is due to her seeing the destruction she caused in gray and jamie). emily got to live whilst she had to stand on the sidelines watching because "emily has a heart disease, she deserves it" or because "emily probably doesn't have long to live, but you do, so this is her time to shine". emily's death and her parents' reaction to it was sort of like a catalyst. her love for emily sort of turned into hatred, making her feel guilty because no one should hate their sister. she realized that she also deserved to live and that not everything emily says, goes. emily ruined her childhood, and her death is what made her realize this.

"i made you my temple, my mural, my sky, now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life"

i mentioned this before but rebecca grew up looking up to emily. she thought she was amazing and accomplished and everything someone should thrive to be. emily didn't think of rebecca the same way. she was conceited, stuck up and had this superiority complex. whilst emily meant everything to rebecca, rebecca meant next to nothing to emily.

"always taking up too much space or time"

this could be seen two ways. taking up too much space in her parents' lives or emily's. her parents were always dotting on emily, and completely ignored rebecca. she couldn't ask for anything without feeling like she didn't deserve the attention. this also applies to emily in the sense that emily had all of these things going on in her life, and she didn't really want to spend time with rebecca. she just liked to get her to do everything she wanted her to (she liked knowing she could manipulate the people around her to do what she wanted them to) rebecca needed her sister in her life, but emily didn't need hers.

"what would you do if i.... took this dagger in me and removed it"

rebecca finally starts to realize that emily is just a sick manipulator who doesn't deserve a second thought. she wants to get her out of her thoughts. she wants to forget about her and rip the dagger (that is emily) out of her mind. even now, after her death, emily is still managing to control her. the thing about being stabbed is that, by removing that dagger, you are basically harming yourself by letting yourself bleed out. that is why doctors recommend you to not remove the dagger when you get stabbed in order for you to not die of blood loss. the same applies to emily. by removing emily from her thoughts, she's removing her from her life. that isn't something you'd want to do to your sister even after her death and destruction. by forcing herself to let go of her sister, she's causing herself more pain because letting her go, even after all of the pain she caused her, is unfathomable to her. she can't live without her no matter how sick that is. rebecca has never really been her own person (she's always been an extension of emily), so, without emily, who is she? removing the dagger (emily) is removing a crucial part of herself. rebecca has always been emily 2.0 and not rebecca. the current rebecca is a creation of emily's.

this one was honestly super fun to make. i loved putting myself in her shoes and writing this. it's also made me hate emily even more.. hope you guys liked this (i'm really proud of this one).

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #rebecca laughlin #emily laughlin

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pickledpascal · 6 months

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New Perspective

Chapter Eleven: The Great War

Warnings: Misgendering, transphobia, crying, feeling like you're not enough, sex jokes except they're not funny.

Word Count: 4.4k

New Perspective Masterlist

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Thanksgiving day.

Jensen had gotten up early to make Avery breakfast. Similar to the first time they ever slept in the same room together. A full-circle moment. He made brown sugar ham, something he usually had on a holiday morning when everything else in the fridge was meant for dinner. When Avery came down, she was dressed in one of Jensen's button-ups but her underwear was still showing with her hair a mess. Jensen liked the look on her. She breathed in the smell and let out a shaky breath. She looked as if she was a kicked puppy.

Immediately, Jensen panicked. Did he do something wrong? He turned off the stove and went up to Avery, holding her in his arms. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I-I haven't had brown sugar ham in a while." Avery mumbled into Jensen's shoulder. The last time, it was on Easter. Years ago. "My dad made it a lot. Haven't had it since." Most things that reminded Avery of her father died when she came out. Others were fine, harmless. Like waffles.

Jensen cupped Avery's cheek, seeing the gentleness of sorrow in her eyes. "Do you want me to make something else?"

"No." She whispered, glancing over to the stove. "No, I want to have some. I want to see if it's as good as I remember it." Jensen let Avery go as he transferred the ham into a large bowl. "Plus, maybe it'll remind me of you instead."

Jensen smiled softly at Avery and watched as she took a few slices. She took a bite from one. He eagerly awaited her response. Avery looked contemplative. Would she allow herself to enjoy such a simple food? Her lips broke into a small smile. A step in the right direction.

"Usually, I pride myself on not letting my dad still control my life. But there's still… some things." Avery admitted softly, glancing down at her plate. "I don't even know why." She was desperate to let Jensen know but she wasn't sure how to explain her life before her transition.

It was horrible.

Sure, from the outside Avery's family might have looked normal. A middle-class nuclear family with three boys, a dog, and a decently sized house in the suburbs of a major city but there was so much more beneath that.

Jensen sat next to Avery and carefully took her hand. He'd listen to her, no matter what. Avery knew that and yet there was still something holding her back. Tears welled at the corners of her eyes.

"I haven't always… been so happy." Avery said softly. "I haven't always had my friends. I haven't always had people who loved me for me. I was… just another sob story of a trans person." She laughed bitterly. "My mom–she yearned for a girl and yet she didn't love me when I told her I was one. Even before I came out, my dad couldn't look at me the same way he did my brothers. I was never enough. They never beat me but they didn't love me. College was my escape. But I had no one. Until I found Mercer… and then Jay and then Elena and then Sammy." Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she made no move to wipe them away. She just let them flow.

"And there was you." Avery finally looked at Jensen and squeezed his hand. "Before I came out, I related so much to Dean and I couldn't quite point out why. Until I realized we wanted so desperately to be loved by our dads. To be enough for them. Parents who don't deserve us." She finally held up a hand to wipe her eyes only for Jensen to do it for her.

Jensen moved Avery's glasses so they sat atop her head as he wiped her cheeks. "Your dad sounds like an asshat. So does your mom." Avery let out a breathy laugh at that. "I mean it. They're missing out on such a beautiful, successful, smart girl." He pressed a kiss to her nose, where the majority of her freckles were. "So fuck them for not seeing you."

Avery chuckled softly at the contact and leaned into Jensen's warm hands. "Yeah." She looked into Jensen's eyes. The muted color of green they were was swamp-like. A deep green that would have made a nice paint color in a Victorian home. "It's… a bit cringe. But when I look at you, when I realize I have you, I feel like everything I've gone through is nothing if it means I get to have you. If I get to be with you in the way that I want."

Jensen pressed his lips against Avery's. He wasn't sure how else to react, what could he say in response to that? A thanks wouldn't be enough. It never would have been. He was glad Avery was in his life too. He would have been going through the motions, dead on the inside. Now, Jensen felt alive. His chest was full of emotion. Love. And everything that came with it. The overwhelming feeling of sympathy for his partner.

The need to keep her safe while also knowing he can't always do that. Avery has a whole life ahead of her, one that Jensen can't predict. She'll get hurt, she'll fall down, but Jensen would be the one to help pick herself up and try to lead her down a path that's less full of thorns.

"If I could…" Avery pulled away from Jensen's lips as she took in his face like it was the first time again. "If I could tell my younger self something, I think I'd tell her to trust herself. I get you."

Jensen smiled warmly. "I think I'd tell myself that love will hit me like a train. And I'll just be along for the ride."

A lop-sided smile appeared on Avery's lips. Love filled her chest. It weighed her down yet she didn't think of it that way. It was a fluttery feeling. She couldn't quite describe it in a fully articulate way. Just that it felt good. It was fulfilling and made her feel whole.

After breakfast, Jensen and Avery got ready for the evening. Jensen dressed himself in a navy blue sweater that Avery got him as a housewarming gift and a pair of black slacks with shoes that matched his sweater nicely. His hair was left the same as usual, away from his face with a few strands that made it their job not to stay where he wanted them to be. After Halloween, Jensen had Avery repaint his nails after they began to chip, so his nails were still painted black. That was sure to cause a stir within his extended family but he didn't care much. Jensen only saw them for holidays.

Avery wore a gray turtleneck underneath a brown plaid dress that ended just above her knees, a pair of gray socks, and heels that had a buckle on the side. Jensen realized that was the first time he'd ever seen her wear heels. She didn't need to wear them in the first place, she was almost as tall as Jensen without them. With the heels, she was an inch or so taller—the height of the heel was only three inches.

"Do you mind if I take your leather jacket?" Avery asked as she fastened the buckles of her heels. Jensen shook his head as he adjusted the watch on his wrist. Avery grabbed the leather jacket that lay at the end of the bed and put it on. It went with her outfit nicely.

Jensen looked lovingly at Avery. She looked amazing in his clothes. "Do you ever think about how I'd look in your clothes?"

Avery looked Jensen up and down. "Every day. Why?"

"Just a question." He said honestly.

Avery sat at the end of the bed as Jensen grabbed another jacket from his closet. A brown leather jacket. Avery played with the end of her dress and then adjusted her socks, they slipped down slightly. Too much for her liking. She was nervous. Jensen's parents are what mattered but Avery didn't like the prospect of being the neighborhood's gossip. She likely was going to be after tonight.

"Sweetheart," Jensen breathed, cupping Avery's chin. "You know that if anything happens—anything—you can talk to me and we'll leave. We can grab some of my mom's pie and eat on Baby's hood."

Avery's eyes lit up at the mention of the car. "We're taking the Impala?" She had always liked cars but she blamed Supernatural for her obsession with them.

"If you want." Jensen knew she'd want to if her Mustang was anything to go by.

"Yeah. That sounds nice." Avery smiled softly as she stood up.

As they made their way into the garage, Avery's mouth dropped open. She had seen quite a few replicas of Baby but there was nothing like the real thing. The black glossy coat of paint was the perfect color for a 1967 Impala that she couldn't imagine one in a different color.

"That almost rivals the way you first looked at me." Jensen joked softly. "C'mon, sweetheart." The driver’s door creaked as he opened it. Like it always did on the show.

Avery got in the passenger door and sighed contentedly. The bench seat felt like she assumed it would, comforting in a strange way. Like the second home the brothers intended it to be. Then there was the overwhelming smell of Jensen in the car. Like apple wood chips smoking for hours. Masculine but there was a sense of fruit. A fruit Avery would happily gorge herself on.

"How many girls have you had in here?" Avery teased softly.

Jensen started the ignition with a loud roar. It shook Avery to her core. "Just one."

Avery chuckled bashfully as she pulled her seatbelt over her body. She glanced at the back seat from the rearview mirror, scenes of Dean giving girls the time of their life back there came to the forefront of her mind. She let out a cough to clear her mind. It didn't work well.

When they arrived at the Ackles house, Avery's mood changed completely. There were at least six or seven different cars in the driveway and on the side of the road. For a moment, Avery wondered if they could just get their food to go. She glanced at Jensen who was staring at her.

Now or never.

Avery stepped out of the car. Jensen followed suit. "Should we have brought something?" She whispered as they made their way to the door.

"Nah, my mom would have a lot of leftovers and, well, after Thanksgiving, they don't need that much food." Jensen pressed a kiss to Avery's temple and knocked on the door. He had a key but he liked to let his mom know when he was there.

Donna greeted the pair with a smile and hugged them tightly. "I'm glad we didn't scare you away."

Avery was still debating if that was true. "Of course not." She laughed dryly.

"Come on, darlin', the family is dying to meet you." Donna waved them inside. Avery felt an alarm go off in her head. Why?

Jensen stopped his mother. "Momma, who's been talking about Avery?" He didn't want to talk about this in front of other people. It'd only give them more to talk about. And if there was something a Southern family loved, it was gossip.

"Everyone, why?" Donna was blissfully unaware.

"Was it Auntie Mary?" Jensen pressed. Avery wasn't sure who Auntie Mary was but she assumed it was the biggest transphobe in their family.

Donna pursed her lips in thought. "I believe so."

Jensen sighed. "Auntie Mary doesn't like people like Avery." Bingo. Avery was right.

Donna's eyebrows furrowed. She frowned. "If she says anything, I'll have Alan have a word with her. Does that sound okay?"

Jensen looked at Avery for an answer. "If it's no trouble." She eventually said.

"It won't be. Sometimes I don't even know why we invite Aunt Mary to these things." Donna quickly said as they ventured into the house. She said it so casually as if it was common knowledge.

Avery glanced at Jensen who just pursed his lips. Elena was the only person Avery knew of that had a Southern family dynamic but, even then, Avery had never been a part of that dynamic. She never visited for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any other holiday. The only time she'd see Elena's parents was when they visited Columbia.

When Avery saw Mackenzie, she was greeted with a hug. "Hey! You look amazing! Much better than yesterday if you ask me." She teased softly as she nudged Avery's arm.

"Yeah." Was Avery's dry response as she looked around. She wasn't sure how else to. The house was buzzing with activity. All kinds of people she had never met before. Young children, middle-aged adults, and elders. All related somehow. Parents, children, grandchildren.

"Don't feel so intimidated, sweetie." Mackenzie whispered, wrapping an arm around Avery's shoulder to bring her close. "Just stay close to me."

Avery nodded with a half-smile. She appreciated Mackenzie but she had a nagging feeling something would go wrong. She was right most of the time.

"Can I leave you with her?" Jensen asked softly. He spotted a few friends from across the kitchen.

Avery waved him off. "I'll be fine." She hoped she would be. Her plan was to stay by the kitchen so she could stay by Donna and Mackenzie.

"Are you sure?" Jensen looked into Avery's eyes. He could see the nervousness in them.

Avery nodded. "Yep."

"I repel half our family anyway. The rebel girl, remember?" Mackenzie winked.

Jensen shook his head and brought Mackenzie into a half-hug, pressing a kiss to her temple. It messed up her hair a bit. "Thanks, kiddo." He walked off.

Avery smiled softly at the interaction. Jensen was an affectionate guy. Her brothers were nowhere near the level of affectionate he was. Partly because they had assumed Avery was a boy most of her life and boys weren't supposed to hug each other. Or that's what their parents taught them. The one brother Avery still had contact with didn't hug her. She wondered if there was a reason for it but she didn't feel like she was missing out. Just happy Jensen could express affection for his family.

"You have brothers?" Mackenzie asked after seeing the look in Avery's eyes.

She nodded. "Two. Like you. I'm the youngest too." Avery admitted with a light smile.

"What're their names?" Mackenzie wanted to get to know Avery, especially if she'd stay with Jensen for a while.

"Uh, Jacob and Joseph. I really only talk to Jacob, though." Avery hummed softly. She didn't feel weird talking about them compared to the rest of her life.

Mackenzie tilted her head as she took a sip of wine. It had been sitting on the counter next to her. "Oh, why?"

"Joseph moved to the middle of nowhere in Utah and we kinda," Avery pursed her lips. "Lost contact, I guess. Never talk. Jacob texts me every so often." She explained. Her relationship with her brothers was relatively cut and dry compared to her parents. Sure, she didn't exactly like Joseph but he could have changed. She doubted it. Like her father, Joseph was stuck in his ways.

Mackenzie hummed as she took in the information. She knew she was lucky her family didn't have any sort of falling out when they could have. There were a few times they were close. "You see him?" Mackenzie asked.

"Sometimes." Avery scratched at her head, looking at the swirls in the marble countertops. "Maybe once a year he'll visit me for a weekend. Usually during Winter Break." A smile broke onto her face. "He'll take me to a horrendously overpriced place for dinner and then we'll hate it so we'll get Wendy's frosties and dip our fries in them."

Mackenzie smiled at the way Avery talked about her brother. She was fond of him, in her own way. "That's nice." Jensen would do something similar with her. Instead of Wendy's, they'd go to a diner and get a piece of pie. She'd get a slice of apple and he'd get coconut cream.

A commotion started which made Avery turn. It was coming from the front door. Her eyes went blank. Jared and Genevieve just walked in. She didn't expect them to be there. But then again, Avery wasn't sure how much Jensen told his parents. She immediately looked away, not wanting Jared to see her.

"Not a big Jared fan?" Mackenzie whispered. Avery shook her head. "Me neither." She watched the couple get surrounded with 'hi's and 'how are you's.

"You must be Jensen's girlfriend!" An older lady pointed out. Avery could see the skeptical look in her eyes. "Bless his heart. You look so real."

Avery wasn't sure if she should laugh. This must be Auntie Mary. She had inadvertently affirmed her gender while also complimenting her. It was almost as if passing was the point. Well, for Avery. She felt mostly offended for Jensen.

"Auntie Mary, don't you want to ask momma about her sweet potatoes? I think she'll finally give you the recipe this year." Mackenzie tried to get Mary to go away.

Mary frowned and shook her head. "Donna ain't giving that up." She turned to Avery again and looked her up and down. It seemed like she couldn't find what she was searching for. "Now I don't like being the town gossip," Avery doubted that. "But me and the girls have been wondering, do you still have a—"

"Yes." Avery answered.

"Dinner's ready!" Donna called right on time.

Avery smiled at Mary while Mackenzie laughed behind her. Avery grabbed a plate and utensils and then helped herself to each tray of food. Turkey, sweet potato mash with marshmallows, roasted potatoes, and a splash of gravy. There were a few tables set up so she sat at the end of the second one. Feeling like she needed one, Avery poured a glass of red wine for herself.

"You handled Auntie Mary well." Jensen whispered in her ear as he sat next to her. His plate looked the same, except he had a healthy helping of green bean casserole. Avery hated green beans.

Avery took a sip from her glass and sighed. "Can we still go during dessert?" The idea of eating pie under the stars on the Impala's hood sounded amazing.

"Yeah, we can." Jensen smiled softly.

"How'd seeing your friends go?" Avery didn't want to bring up Jared but Jensen was bound to see him eventually.

Jensen shrugged as he snuck a bite of turkey. Usually, his mom or dad would say grace before they could dig in but he didn't care. "Jason's the same as usual. Just having a good time. Cons are the most excitement he gets." He chuckled softly.

"Jason Manns?" Avery tilted her head.

"Yep." Jensen hummed. He knew fans knew Jason but they'd likely never be able to pick him out in a crowd.

Avery mumbled in thought, "He was the first person to introduce me to your singing."

"He was?" Jensen asked, glancing at Jason who was in the middle of grabbing some food. He had been friends with him for years. Longer than Jared.

"Yeah, y'know, his covers with friends album." Avery explained with a glint of excitement in her eyes. "Really want your peaches wanna shake your tree." She half-sung.

"Or would it be considered eggplant?" Jared chimed in, taking his seat next to Avery.

Her face went blank whereas Jensen narrowed his eyes at the man. "Let's just all get along, huh?" Gen cut in as she sat next to Jared.

"Maybe control your husband then, Gen." Jensen hissed. He wouldn't have minded his parents inviting Jared if they made a rule that he couldn't be an asshole. Though, knowing him, he'd find a way.

Avery pursed her lips, feeling the uneasiness overtake her again. Fuck saying grace, she needed something in her stomach or else she felt she would throw up. It seemed the people around her didn't care much that she started eating anyway. Her brain needed something to keep her busy besides thinking about the behemoth of a man who sat next to her.

With a hand on her thigh, Jensen caught her attention. "You alright?"

Avery glanced at Jared and then back at him. "I will be." She could get through a night with Jared's backhanded comments. She'd probably laugh about how awful they were the next day.

Jensen forked a green bean and brought it to his mouth. Jared laughed, likely thinking of another horrendous joke. Something about the shape and the fact that it was submerged in a white substance.

The rest of dinner mainly consisted of Avery and Jensen talking about whatever, trying their best to ignore Jared next to them who would occasionally snicker at things not intended to be funny. Avery wondered what it was like for Gen to be married to a child while having three actual children. Sure, Avery could be childish sometimes but she knew how to read a room. An attribute it seemed Jared was missing.

There was a bit of gossip at the other end of the room but Avery didn't listen too in-depth of what it was about. She did see a few stares in her direction.

However she did catch, "I can't believe Jensen's dating a transvestite."

Avery suppressed a dry laugh at that. Of course an older person would call her such an outdated slur. She stood up from the table and washed her plate, soon joined by Jensen. "I'm sorry." He whispered after a while.

"For what? None of this is your fault." Avery smiled. It wasn't.

"But I invited you." Jensen felt an immense amount of guilt all the sudden. He wanted to protect Avery from people like the ones in his family.

Avery shook her head and took Jensen's hand. "I agreed to go." She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Time to go?" Donna made her way into the kitchen. Jensen and Avery nodded. "I had a feeling." She frowned as she opened the fridge and took out a Tupperware with two perfectly sliced pieces of sweet potato pie and a few plastic forks inside. She was prepared. "I'm sorry about tonight."

Avery took the container and hugged Donna. "You're okay, Ms. Ackles. Maybe next time, me and Jensen'll do Thanksgiving and then you'll be able to meet my family." She said softly. She had a feeling Donna would love Elena, Mercer, and Jay. Jay might take some getting used to but Avery knew it'd work out in the end.

Donna's eyes lit up. She looked at Jensen who looked just as surprised as she was. He hadn't thought about hosting Thanksgiving in a while or with Avery. But she was an incredible cook. He wondered what her version of Thanksgiving would look like.

"Bye, Ms. Ackles." Avery waved.

Donna nodded before she hugged Jensen goodbye. "She's a keeper." She whispered so only he could hear.

"I know, momma." Jensen smiled. He was glad his parents could see it too. "Bye."

Avery and Jensen left for the Impala. They drove for a little while until Jensen pulled onto a dirt road that led to a park. It was night so the stars were shining brightly and there were fireflies still around even though it was in the middle of fall. Jensen parked in the middle of the clearing and cut the engine. He pushed himself onto the hood of the Impala and watched Avery do the same, setting the Tupperware in between them before she looked up at the stars.

"Huh. Pisces is visible tonight." Avery pointed out, taking the lid off the Tupperware.

Jensen looked up at the night sky with furrowed eyebrows. "Where?" To be fair, he wasn't into constellations much anyway. Let alone astrology.

"There." Avery took Jensen's hand and mapped out the constellation among the stars. "It's like the Big Dipper, just with a long tail." She hummed as she took a bite from the pie. She usually ate pumpkin pie in the fall but sweet potato was good too.

Jensen could finally see it and nodded. "Yeah." He took a bite from his piece and watched Avery. She was far calmer than earlier. As if she was in her natural habitat.

In many ways, night was Avery's natural habitat. It was when she got a lot of homework done, food just tasted better, and she was in a better mood. She had made jokes that it was because she was secretly a devotee of Selene. Jensen had to look that up in order to realize Selene was the goddess of the moon. Supernatural wasn't into Greek Mythology as much as it liked using urban folktales.

"We should do this more often." Avery hummed softly as she glanced up at the moon.

Jensen smiled. "Drive to the middle of nowhere and eat pie?"

"Yeah." Avery had a wistful look in her eyes that Jensen couldn't argue with.

"Alright."

The scene reminded Avery of her brother but it had a different weight to it. A different kind of love that she hadn't felt before. Not to this magnitude.

A streak of light went across the night sky. "A meteor." Avery pointed out, glancing at Jensen who was staring at her. Not the sky.

"If I wished to kiss you, do you think it'll come true?" Jensen asked with a sly smile.

Avery laughed. A little too hard that she almost fell off the Impala's hood. "I hate that."

Jensen kept her from falling with an arm around her waist. "You love me." He whispered into her ear.

"I do." Avery chuckled, coming down from her laughing fit. "But I hate that you said that."

Jensen rolled his eyes and kissed her. Avery didn't pull away. The metal below them was uncomfortable but neither of them moved to leave the hood. Avery brushed a hand through Jensen's hair to set it on the back of his neck. Jensen kept his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. His lips tasted like the pie they just had. She wanted more. So they kissed until they had to break for breath.

When Jensen opened his eyes again, Avery's eyes stared back at him with the twinkles of stars reflected in them. The normal blue shade of them looked like the night sky. The shade of space Jensen imagined it'd be.

They had a million kisses at that point yet Avery knew she'd think about that one for the rest of her life.

----

taglist: @nancymcl

taglist open here !!!

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hathorneheiress · 8 months

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Wedding day pt.4

Libby stood staring at herself in the gold rimmed floor length mirror. She never thought this day would ever come. All her life she wanted to find someone to spend her life with, but most of all, to love her.

Her mother told her all she deserved was a man who would abuse her, and everyone she would find, was just that. She lied to herself that it was meant to be. That having an abusive husband was all she was going to get.

But then Avery inherited a massive fortune and she found herself whisked away to a mansion like in the story books. She also found herself falling in love with a young man named Nash Hawthorne.

She remembered him slow smiling her. Flirting with her. At first it annoyed her. He didn't even know who she was. But as he continued to be with her. Listen to her. She began to slowly fall in love with him.

He never raised his voice at her. Never made her feel like she would never be enough for him. For the first time in like forever, she felt safe. She felt loved for who she truly. Gothstyle, blue hair, and quirky personality and all.

Nash loved her weird style as much as he loved her.

She had dyed her hair that bright, electric blue she had first had when she first met Nash.

Applying dark purple, almost black, lipstick to her lips, she thought of her husband-to-be. His soft hazel eyes, beautiful smile, strong muscles, and gentle personality. Everything she was told she would never have for a husband, yet here she was, marrying that sort of a man.

Containing the butterflies in her stomach, she placed the lacy black veil over her hair.

The door to her bedroom opened, and a young woman stepped in. Libby barely had any friends, besides Avery and the Hawthornes, except for Ivy Darcy. She and Libby used to work together in the nursing homes before Libby had moved to Texas and didn't have to work anymore.

You would have thought that living of your sister's billions of dollars would have been awesome, and it was, but there were times Libby wished to go back and scrub floors and help the old. It was more because she felt like she had a purpose and gave her something to do.

Ivy was a small woman with dirty blond hair and sparking light brown eyes. Attired in a dark purple chiffon dress that reached down to the floor, it boasted a high slit in the front of the dress with a low-cut v neckline. It was simple, yet very gothic and Libby at the same time.

"You ready to meet your prince charming?" she asked.

Libby nodded, to excited to speak. "You think he'll like it?" pointing to her outfit.

"I don't know, but from what you have told me about him, then I think he will."

"Has he left?" Libby asked, looking out the window.

"He has. Avery asked me to come and get you. She and Max are waiting downstairs." Ivy and Max were her bridesmaids with Avery appointed Maid of Honor.

Gathering the skirts of her gown, she proceeded to head downstairs. They would take a vehicle to the church. And standing at the alter, waiting for her, would be the man of her dreams. Her prince charming. Her Nash Westbrook Hawthorne.

#the brothers hawthorne #the inheritance games #nash hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #xander hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #wedding #libby grambs

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kiarakarlisse · 3 months

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Soon after Carter left I immediately went upstairs to check on Nick. He was beat up pretty bad and I needed to know if he needed medical attention. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to end things and move on with my life. I just wanted one last moment with him before it was all over.

Noelle: Babe are you okay?

Nick: Yeah Elle, I’m just ready to go home.

Noelle: Okay we can do that. I’m so sorry he showed up. I had no idea he’d do that.

Noelle: Or that he even knew where we were.

Nick: I don’t really want to talk about it Elle. I’m just tired and need a drink.

I want to make sure we’re okay because I can’t loose him again. He’s my person. And I don’t know if I could last if we ended it. We were just supposed to be a fling and have a bit of fun. But I fell in love with him again. I can’t even really say again because it’s always been him.

Noelle: Are we okay?

Nick: Yes Noelle. We’re okay. I’m just thinking

Noelle: Okay. I love you. You know that right?

Nick: I know Elle, but you loved him too. So I get it. I think we should take some time apart.

Noelle: If that’s what you want.

Nick: Yeah I think it’s for the best. Just for a little while.

After our flight back from granite falls and taking Noelle home I went home and made my self a much needed drink. Bourbon. This whole thing wasn’t supposed to go like this. I just wanted my girl back but did I really have to go and ruin her relationship. I never got over her my Elle. She’s the love of my life. I had to take my chances at trying to get her back even if it meant being on the side lines. I just wish the situation could have been handled better. I got my ass handed to me and I can’t say my ego isn’t wounded. But I deserved it. I was taking something that wasn’t mine. But Noelle Avery Bergman has always been mine.

This entire situation has me so on edge I had to take out my Cubans. I normally save these for special occasions but just thinking how things could have been different. If we hadn’t ended things before. I never told her this but I was ready to marry her and make her Mrs. Nicholas Hayes. I was ready to take that step even though we were so young. But I knew she wanted her career and wanted to go to the Academy Arts Dance school in Paris. But I would have followed her anywhere. I think she was just scared and so I let her end us in hopes she’d come back to me. Maybe I’m too late. Maybe this little fling was it. Why must she consume my thoughts??

#kiarakarlisse #simblr #ts4 simblr #sims 4 #sims 4 cc #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 simblr #storytelling #noelles diary

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booksandchainmail · 1 year

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Pale 6.4

Avery was awake. Saying Verona was working on it might have hurt her, karmically.

lol

On the reverse side were their names. Beneath each were keywords, key traits, and random thoughts that each of them had had about themselves.

oh I want to read this. Maybe an extra material?

Lucy characteristics:

sense of justice injustice

conscious

protective

frustrated

clearheaded when upset

I like all of these for her! I think the justice/injustice thing makes sense: not so much seeking out right as correcting wrong. Not that people get what's deserved, but that they don't get away with what's not. And on the "clearheaded when upset" thing: even when dealing with Paul and let loose her emotions, she stayed really focused and coherent in a way I don't think the other two could/would have.

“The coolest moments I’ve seen with you and the practice is when you shine through. It’s great when you… I don’t know the term. Illustrate yourself? Exaggerate yourself? Even when you’re not actually using the practice, you’ll do this thing where you seem to decide ‘oh, it’s on’. A lot of people who aren’t used to it would run away screaming or get stuck. I go quiet with all that. And you just tackled it."

yesss. I feel like this meshes well with the setting an arena thing Guilherme taught her: making people meet her on her terms and ground.

I mean… I think I definitely don’t want a weapon. I don’t regret using it for awakening, but like… if I used it for awakening, and then I used it in the Paul thing, and I choose it as my path for the future…? Is that me? I don’t want that to be me.

she brought this up early on! After the confrontation with John, wondering if she should look for a familiar who was comfortable with combat so she wouldn't have to be. Which is part of why I've been focused more on her as the face of the group than as a fighter.

This whole thing was asking her to do a lot of introspection. At the same time, she was opening herself up for the analysis of her friends.

the mortifying ordeal of being known

“The kind that runs six days a week, eight to five, with study sessions in the evenings and on Sundays. If you aren’t part of a study group the teachers will give you very disappointed talks and call your parents until you focus appropriately on your studies.”

what the fuck. possibly more disturbing than the fucked up practice bits

“A forswore B, and then A got expelled,” Melody said. “And friends of A and B were up in arms, fighting over who was right. This feels like that.”

wonder if either of these guys will show up

“It’d suck to avoid all friendships for the whole summer just because things are hairy,” Avery said.

and Corbin and Melody are Dabblers, which probably means their family isn't that powerful, so I'm inclined to be well disposed toards them

“My dad says I can’t get a familiar until I’m older,” Melody said, scratching Snowdrop. “I have to turn sixteen, then live with it for two years before I seal it with the ritual.”

honestly pretty reasonable

I was personally involved in one case where an Apsasû, a divine servant and protector of humanity, took it on herself to shelter a group of humans. She kept them in what you could describe as a Garden of Eden, curing all that ailed. Faith, physiology, and mind twisted and knotted despite or because of her efforts.

... this reminds me of the Doe that Avery talked to

Lucy’s notes consisted largely of ‘yikes’ ‘frigging yikes’ ‘huge yikes’ ‘yikes and yikes’… and ended with the ‘oh no’ line. Subhumans? Wow and yikes.

I am going to let Lucy's notes speak for me here

It felt weird, just taking for granted that he’d said he wanted to apologize.

I guess the not-lying thing could end up helping with the uncertainty that's normally an issue with microaggressions?

“If you were to draw a picture of yourself, no context, in the utmost quality, meant to hang in a gallery, what would you be doing?”

(for me it would be reading)

Theft, some violent crime. He dealt with some criminal groups as a youth, only a few years older than you are now.

huh.

It would be ugly to forgive Charles but not Alexander, simply because I know Alexander’s victim but Charles’s were anonymous.

I'm with Lucy on this one, I don't agree with this but I'm having hard time articulating it. Two elements: Charles was actively working on making amends, while we haven't seen any signs that Alexander even regrets his actions. The other: the difference between societal forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness. I'd argue that everybody deserves the chance at a fresh start and new approach to life, but don't have the right to that second chance coming from the same group the offenses were committed to. I think it's hard, as someone who was friends/colleagues with both men, to forgive Alexander without taking his side over Charles. Meanwhile Charles's victims aren't being further harmed by some guy they've never met looking past Charles's actions.

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

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pisceanvixen · 1 year

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Anger, healing, & everything in between

I've always told myself and others that healing isn't linear. There's no one correct way to heal from past traumas and abuse. In a sense, it tends to come in stages...much like the workings of grief. It's kind of like you're grieving the person you were before you started healing yourself. And that comes with everything. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.

The one thing I do understand the most about healing is that you're actually growing into the new you. You're forever changing and growing into the person that you're meant to be. However, that also means letting go of past tendencies and people who make your growth stagnant.

In this third pregnancy, I've learned to finally let go of those who didn't suit me or my well being. I've stopped communicating with individuals who only really provided me with a one way friendship. I stayed friends with people because they were exes (in attempt to keep the peace, but who am I kidding? Ex-girlfriends absolutely despise me & their jealousy speaks volumes), girlfriends of close friends, or just friends with my husband. But my connections with those people shouldn't feel like a weight, right? I explained to Avery how I felt and how uncomfortable and disrespectful these people have been to me. He understood and he didn't question it. And I've never had to question his loyalty and respect for me. So, we both just simply deleted these people off of our Instagram or explained to some that we will no longer be communicating with them.

Then this leads me to anger. Now, that I'm pregnant again...weed has not been in my life. I've been having to deal with an immense amount of new and returning feelings. During my pregnancy with my daughter, I felt a mixture of sadness, excitement, and happiness. The sadness was mainly because I was pregnant during 2020. The events of COVID and constant social injustices made me feel so much more then I already felt. My mother always told me that I care too deeply, mainly because I'm a highly sensitive being (to which my daughter is as well). So, I feel the sadness and anger of others so intently and deeply, that it genuinely hurts me too. However, I always felt such kindness being pregnant at that time. As hard as it was to believe there was any good in humanity, I saw it. I felt it, too.

But with this pregnancy, I feel nothing but rage, contempt, and anger. I was starting to worry because I felt that all this anger was so unhealthy and stressful, especially for the baby. However, I learned. that anger was apart of the healing process. I spent so much time being sad and feeling like I deserved what happened to me. I felt like I blamed myself for a lot of things that weren't even in my line of control. And now, I'm angry. I'm angry that I was mistreated. I am angry because I deserved better. I am angry because I wish I could go back in time and hug the old me; tell my old self that it wasn't my fault. That it was okay to feel sad, but not okay to harm myself in ways that I did.

Anger is your friend. It protects you because it knows you deserve better then what you received. It's helping you realize that what happened to you wasn't okay and it was never right. People think that anger isn't a part of healing... but it is. It's not a lifestyle, but a mere stepping stone into the next stage of your life. It's a part of your grief...to the person you once were. And once I've let my anger take its course, I realized that I can finally start to repair the damages and unlearn the unhealthy habits I've taken place in before.

Don't get me wrong though, just because I'm healing doesn't mean I won't kick your ass if necessary. I just want people to know that's obviously my last resort to disrespect.

And please, if you're reading this then understand that anger is a human feeling. You're not any less of an adult because you get upset over someone disrespecting you. You're not childish just because you yelled at a man for disrespecting your boundaries at a bar. I'm not inciting violence, I'm saying that you should allow yourself to feel those feelings fully and wholeheartedly so that you can finally move on. Pent up anger that's just been pushed aside or hidden under the shitty advice of "oh don't be so angry" or "move on" comments will just lead to worse consequences for yourself.

Be human. Feel your damn feelings and grow into the best possible version of yourself.

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 2 years

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Marlene was sweating like a pig as she approached Dorcas. She looked beautiful as always. Nobody was around her. She was looking around kind of lost. Searching for someone to talk to.

If Marlene wasn't a bloody idiot, perhaps she could do this easily. But she liked Dorcas so much that she didn't want to ruin this opportunity.

Please, make this work Marlene. She told herself.

Dorcas' eyes met hers seconds before Marlene got near her. And she smiled. Marlene froze and her heart skipped a beat.

"Hi... You..."

Marlene was an idiot, Jesus Christ.

"McKinnon..."

How could someone be this beautiful?

"You look nice" Marlene said without thinking.

Dorcas' eyes set her eyes on Marlene for a second. Those perfect brown eyes of her.

"I like your sweater" Marlene pointed to the lilac fluffy sweater she was wearing.

"Thanks..."

"I mean it is a good color. You don't see much this color..." Marlene interrupted nervously "And it must be warm and soft..."

"I mean it is..."

"I used to have a blue one when I was younger. Very similar to this one..." Marlene continued quickly. Dorcas smiled amused "I used it everyday and all the time... It started to smell pretty badly... You know like sweat and old... I didn't want to get it off. I wonder why people didn't want to spend time with me..."

Dorcas chuckled.

"I mean I smelled" Marlene chuckled as well "Or maybe it was the fact that I have a weird personality. I seem angry and terrifying but I am actually pretty nice..."

Marlene noticed Dorcas bet her lip which made her hot and adorable at the same time.

"I don't know why I am saying all of these things... I am talking too much bullshit, aren't I?"

"Yeah..." Dorcas nodded.

"How embarrassing. I am sorry" Marlene chuckled. She could feel her cheeks on fire.

"Don't worry. It is adorable watching you struggle"

Now Marlene was sure that she was blushing. She swallowed. She didn't know why Dorcas made her do and say stupid things.

"What I meant was that you look great. Like nice and pretty and all" And Marlene choked with her saliva in the most stupid way ever.

Dorcas giggled and Marlene figured there was no more beautiful sound than that. God, she was so into this girl.

"Well, you look pretty too. McKinnon" Dorcas said nervously, biting her lip. Then her hand moved towards Marlene's hair. Marlene froze again "You hair looks nice today"

Marlene smiled blushing profoundly. She was thinking of something clever to say. Maybe ask Dorcas to dance or go for a drink. So they could chat more. Or maybe Marlene could make herself look even more ridiculous.

But Marlene couldn't say anything because they were interrupted.

"Dorcas!"

Dorcas' usual friends were calling her. Marlene wasn't sure if they were her friends because she hang out with them but she didn't have fun. And she never talked about them. Marlene tended to talk about her friends. Though they didn't have to know that.

Mulciber, Alecto, Amycus, and Avery...

Marlene wished Dorcas would stay with her. She deserved better.

"Gotta go, McKinnon"

Dorcas smiled apologetically.

"See you around..."

Before Marlene could do something else, Dorcas kissed her cheek before going to her group of friends. Dorcas Meadows kissed her cheek!

"Shit..." Marlene whispered when Dorcas was gone, thinking of all the things she could've done better.

Marlene liked Dorcas so much. But she didn't know what to bloody do. She wished she didn't act like a twat around her. And that was the problem.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene

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truckreincarnation · 4 months

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Confession Pt. 2 || Theophania || Trial 4.5 || Re: Avery, Manami

No! No, goddammit! There Avery was, thwarting her plans. She'd hurt them once again, not unlike only a few short hours prior. That brief moment of peace shared between them in Avery's room. That look of anguish on their face. There it was again, with their words only acting as more and more knives to the chest with each one.

Avery had refused to promise her one thing. They'd said they would protect her no matter what. Should've figured that also meant from herself.

Theophania's hope was that everyone would be too angry to find the holes in her story, but Avery intercepted before anyone but Bian could say a word. She clenched her jaw so tightly it hurt, her teeth grinding together.

Why would you have used the thing you know I love to murder someone on purpose?

Those words stung more than anything. She wondered how Avery would react if she said yes. If they would yell at her, scream at her, just like she deserved. It would be easy.

But she just couldn't do that. She couldn't lie to them. And she certainly couldn't cause them pain, even if it meant she'd get her due punishment. Losing Avery was the least she could do to repent, but watching that look of pain on their face... She didn't know whether it was the selfishness of wanting to keep them, or the fact she just loved them too much to see them in pain. Either way, they told her to finally be honest.

She opened her mouth to respond, but then Manami chimed in.

Do you hate us that much?

How could she even answer that? All of the words she'd pushed down started bubbling to the surface. All the things she'd hidden, tried to get over. Now was hardly the time to hash it all out, but like the bomb that went off at the Gate, she was threatening to explode.

"...I hate you... That's right, I hate you!" The words tumbled out, somewhere between a snarl and a sob. Tears pooled in her eyes. "I hate all of you people so damn much! I hate that you were so quick to abandon Meili in favor of her unrepentant killer! I hate that you all pick and choose your morals based on how much you like a person! I hate how untrustworthy you all, how I've sacrificed my own power because I thought it was better! Because I thought I had to! Become a healer to boost everyone else's strength, you can rely on them to protect you! Except I can't because you've all proven time and time again that I can't trust any of you to do that right thing or have my back! So now I'm weak and pathetic and vulnerable and scared. I promised myself I wouldn't help any of you anymore! I would put myself first! So why...s-so why...I hate you all so much, so why did I still try to save Frank anyway?"

She couldn't control the wretched sobs that escaped her. The way her body shook and shivered from the exertion of it all. Ever since this trial began, she'd been holding everything back. The pain, the guilt, the emotion. It was all too much. But everything needed to come out.

"...And I hate that the one thing I can rely on you all to do, to yell, and scream, and insult, and accuse...you didn't do. I h-hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate...th-that you won't just punish me already, like I deserve. Because I'm a filthy killer."

She had truly never felt more repulsive. She hid her face in her hands as she continued to cry. She hadn't given any answers, not really. Avery wanted the truth. She had to pull it together long enough to. She had to. She had to. If she couldn't do this one thing for the one remaining person she cared about left, then what worth was she?

"...Purify..." Success. She only had one charge of this. She wanted to save it for Avery later, before her execution, so she could Purify their pain away. So they wouldn't have to struggle when she marched to her death.

The overwhelming emotional distress faded away into a distant hum, enough that she could pull herself together. She tugged her hands away from her face, tear streaks and makeup smears covering it.

"...I built the bomb and placed it by the Gate. Then I backed up as much as I was able while still being able to see it, and I used the slingshot to sling the knockout bomb at the larger one. That's what detonated it." She stared down solemnly at her feet. "...No one else was supposed to be there. I studied days in advance, memorizing the patrol patterns of Cap, but I didn't calculate anyone else coming out there into my plans. I didn't even see or hear Frank and Luz. If I had...I never would have detonated that bomb. Putting myself at risk...that's one thing, but I wouldn't do that to anyone else. I should've studied the barrier first. I should've done a test, like Avery said. But I was reckless and desperate. I hate this place. I thought...I thought if there was a big enough explosion..." She couldn't even finish. It didn't matter. There was no point making excuses. "...I only saw Frank after the explosion, and it was only because he was moving. I didn't even know Luz was with him. My head was in a haze, but I thought...this was my fault, he shouldn't die because of it, so I sent my Phoenix Blossom over to him, but...he refused it. For Luz. I didn't know... I didn't know..."

At least, if she'd been conscious a little longer, if she'd just seen Luz there...maybe she could've at least saved one of the victims of her negligence.

#Theophania #ch4 #trial4 #submission

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disenchantedif · 3 years

Note

Love this concept!! The characters all seem cool, so I was wondering if you could spare 2-3 facts about each of them to help us ti get to know them better!!

Luci Rivera

They wish you knew how many regrets they have about the way things happened.

Some days they can't stand to look in the mirror.

They flinch when anyone tries to touch their wings after an accident left a barren spot with no feathers close to their skin.

Penelope Eliades

She knows he never deserved her, but thinking about him still hurts.

She has accidentally cut her own clothing with her claws before, and her teeth are strong and sharp enough to hack through metal.

Her family thinks she's returning home after she gets her degree, but they could never force her to go back. She wants to see the world.

Cameron Fletcher

They never meant for you to get hurt when they fulfilled the prophecies. They thought they were doing the right thing.

They regret being cocky back in boarding school.

The media and the government combined makes them wish they were never the Chosen One, makes them wish they could run away.

Viktor Orlov

He wishes you knew how important you are to him. You were the only thing that got him through the rougher days of your youths.

Secretly hates Luci for abandoning the both of you. He thought he could trust them.

Wishes his sisters wouldn’t try and put glitter or confetti bombs everywhere.

Harlow Mitchell

They can't make it through the night without waking up crying.

They have a deep fear of needles and have panic attacks at the sight of them.

Secretly wish they were just human. No pre-cognitive powers, no being a banshee, no- they just wish they were human.

Ami Singh

They're sick knowing what their father has done.

They don't understand how their mother can still love him while knowing everything; they don't.

They want to be a journalist, but their parents tried to force them into a political science major before everything.

Theo Parker

They want to knock Cameron and Luci down a few pegs; they both deserve it after all that happened at boarding school.

They hate studying but do it out of spite to stay at the top of their class.

They secretly really enjoy being able to make you laugh and smile. You should do it more often, after all.

Charlie Ortiz

They're a theater major but are actually really good at math and science. They're considering a double major.

Their parents are the most supportive people you'll ever meet.

When they first saw you in the bookstore they quit paying attention and accidentally dropped a huge textbook on their foot. It was bruised for a week.

Avery Monroe

They just want to go back home.

They just want revenge.

Why did they have to kill the only person they had left? Why did they force them to go to those lengths?

???

Where are they?

Who are they?

They just want to know your name. Maybe you could tell them theirs.

#disenchantedif #luci rivera #penny eliades #cameron fletcher #viktor orlov #harlow mitchell #theo parker #charlie ortiz #avery monroe #??? (the wraith)#amri singh

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wolfeyedwitch · 3 years

Text

And Still Part 7

No. 17 - FIELD CARE 101

“Please don’t move!” | hemorrhage | dread

Content warning: discussions of murder (abstract), miscommunications galore, and Sidekick having a panic attack. Also, Sidekick is now named Devin.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“I won’t help you kill anyone! I won’t let you kill another hero!”

---------------------------------------------------

How could she look so calm after suggesting that?! And she had said it like it was a, a gift, like her helping him to kill someone was something to be celebrated!

Devin would freely admit that Hero was not a good person, and should be in jail. That’s what he had wanted to do when he had broken into Hero’s computer in the first place and found out what Hero had been doing.

But for Avery to offer to ‘help you take Hero down’ was something else entirely. Even as awful as Hero was, they didn’t deserve to be killed!

This was a mistake. All of this was a horrible mistake. Devin should never have let his guard down around Avery. She had said she wasn’t going to hurt him because he was a child, but that meant absolutely nothing about the rest of Heroes League. She was even craftier than he had originally thought, to get him to relax like that, even knowing she was a villain! Dread rose like bile in the back of his throat.

He had to get out of there. Fuck his ribs, fuck all of his injuries, he needed to run. Get as far away from this woman as possible.

But she apparently read his intentions before he was able to act on them. “Blue, sit on him. Shadow, Earl, guard the entrance. Everyone else, spread out.”

And suddenly Devin’s nascent escape plan died under the weight of an enormous wolf climbing into his lap and laying down. At least Blue didn’t seem to be trying to hurt him? The wolf was avoiding all the worst bruises.

That didn’t change the fact that the wolf probably weighed as much as he did. With it in his lap, he wasn’t going anywhere.

The wolf shoved its nose under Devin’s hand with a small whine.

“She wants you to pet her,” Avery said quietly. “She knows you’re upset, and she wants to help. So do I.”

Devin relented on petting Blue, but held firm on opposing Avery. “Your idea of helping me is offering to help me kill someone. Excuse me if I don’t want your help!”

Avery frowned. “I never said that.”

“No, you just offered to ‘help me take him down,’” Devin said venomously. “And with your history—”

“That is not what I meant!” Avery said, showing some of the same anger she had when Devin first said it was Hero who had hurt him. She groaned and pushed the heels of her palms into her eye sockets.

Devin took the brief moment of inattention to see if he could get Blue off his lap. The wolf gave him a look that clearly said, yeah, not happening, but nice try.

Avery audibly puffed out a breath and lowered her hands. “What I meant was that I could help you gather evidence on them. If nothing else, I could help photograph that mess,” she said, gesturing towards Devin’s tapestry of scars and bruises. “Then you could take that information back to Heroes League and they can handle it. Or the police. Whatever. I don’t care, as long as Hero can’t hurt any more children.”

Devin shook his head, not sure whether it was an attempt to clear it or a negation of her statement. “But your history with Heroes League…”

“Is a complete and utter disaster, I know,” Avery said. “That doesn’t mean I’m just going to kill someone!”

“Why not?!” Devin shot back. “You’ve done it before!”

He wasn’t actually sure if this was true or not; no one was. But it felt right to say it, to accuse her of everything possible.

Avery leaned back as if he had slapped her. She opened her mouth, then closed it, waiting a few more moments. “You mean Lyn,” she said finally.

Lynnura had been the hero most closely involved in the investigation of Avery—and then she vanished. Of course Heroes League thought Avery was behind the disappearance of one of their best heroes.

“You were her main opponent,” Devin said. “She was spending all her time researching you before she disappeared.”

Devin hadn’t been apprenticed to Hero then, but even he had heard the rumors. Lynnura was the only member of Heroes League unaccounted for, and was still regularly discussed.

Inexplicably, Avery’s eyes began to shine with tears. “Devin, I didn’t kill Lyn,” she said, pausing to sniffle. “I loved her.”

@heathenville @nonbinary-disaster

#whumptober 2021 #no. 17 #dread #OC #whump writing #my writing #panic attack tw #and still #sidekick whumpee #villain caretaker #villain x heroine #evil hero #bad hero #misunderstandings #like. there's a lot of them still #it doesn't help that Avery's backstory is basically unknown to any but her #and she sucks at talking with humans #also Devin should probably stop making assumptions #pet the wolf and let the nice villain lady help you Devin #how many of you saw the villain x heroine thing coming?#i wanna know to check how my foreshadowing skills are doing #I have to figure out how to continue this story because it is soooo far away from what I had planned #yes I sat down and planned out what prompts I would use for my stories #but this is definitely not how I planned it #I like it! I think it's good!#and I'm not going to fight the muse when she blesses me with story ideas #I'm just gonna write that shit down #I just now have to figure out how this story is gonna keep going

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imkylotrash · 3 years

Text

Just Turn Around

Pairing: Riven x reader

Requests: could u write a riven x reader inspired by the song scared to- Avery lynch. Anonymous. And Could you do a Riven x reader thats kind of angsty, like he keeps choosing Beatrix until the reader kinda leaves him, you can decide the ending!! Anonymous

A/N I’m so sorry for this one. I made myself cry.

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody

You’re looking at the gates to Alfea knowing that when you step onto school ground you’ll have to face him again. The one person you’re terrified to see because he knows you like the back of his hand. Because he looked at you and saw you for who you are and still decided to leave. Because he thought you weren’t enough breaking you in the process.

“Where were you tonight?” you ask already knowing the answer. He shakes off his jacket purposely keeping his head down. He’s not proud to admit it but you’re selfish enough to make him say it. You want to hear the words that’ll tear you apart.

“I want to you say it, Riven. The least you can do is be honest.” You’re not together, you don’t owe each other anything but you want to be his. You want him to look at you and tell you that there’s no one else but you. That when he’s not with you the world seems a little greyer. But that’s not what he says.

“I was with Beatrix,” he mumbles. He might as well have just reached into your chest and crushed your heart with his bare hands. You know he loves you but you’re not the person he needs. There’s a clear line between loving someone and needing them. You know this because you’re not the one he needs and it’s painfully clear every time he chooses her. She’s like a disease that slowly spread taking him from you before you even had the chance to show him just how good life could be.

You’re not sure if you have the strength to walk in there and face him after everything that happened. You let him tear you down and bury you six feet under ground. He took your soul and ripped it apart until you were a mere shadow. All the other students pass you happy and laughing enjoying the last of summer before school starts and you can’t help but envy them for the ignorant bliss. You want to take part in their happiness but it’s as if your feet have taken root right here. You clench your fists to keep them from shaking.

“We’re not together!” he yells half out the door.

“I know!” you scream back at him, “I can’t do this anymore.” It takes the fight out of both of you. The realisation that this can’t go on. It’ll hurt you both but you know he’ll be fine. It’s you who’ll completely fall apart.

“Wha-what are you talking about?” he says with tears in his eyes. He takes a step closer to you and away from the door. One more step and he’s right in front of you close enough for you to smell his cologne. He engulfs you in a hug refusing to let go and it’s all it takes for you to lose your resolve. He stays that night holding you in his arms like he used to. It’s a cruel reminder of what the two of you used to have but you know he’ll go back to her in the morning. He can’t help himself. He wants you both but he’ll choose her if it came down to it.

“I love you,” you whisper when he falls asleep. He doesn’t hear you but it gives you a comfort to know that you’ve said it at least once.

You brace yourself knowing that you can’t break when you see him again. He’ll probably be with her but you refuse to cry over him again. You’re stronger than that. But the thought of facing him scares you more than you’d like to confess. You don’t want to think of his lips pressed against your skin or the long nights watching the stars. You don’t want to remember the way he would kiss you in the morning before heading to class or the morning he stopped doing that. His goodbye is etched inside your brain and that’s more than enough memories for you. Finally, you take a step towards the gates knowing you can’t keep standing here. You pass the gates taking a deep breath before looking around. He’s at the other end of the courtyard but he looks up immediately like he sensed you looking. You lock eyes and all you can see is the way he looked at you when he left you for the last time.

“I can’t keep doing this to you. You deserve better,” he says one night sitting on the bed. You know what he means but you refuse to give up on him. You reach out for his hand but he pulls away from your touch. That’s when you know that he won’t be back this time. He’s choosing her and leaving you behind.

“That’s not up for you to decide,” you say with a stern voice.

“You can’t honestly say that this is enough for you,” he argues looking at you like you’ve gone entirely mad. And maybe you have but you decided a long time ago that if you would take what you could get because being with Riven hurt less than being without him. If you had to choose, you took the option with the least pain.

“You don’t get to make decisions for me, Riven! If you want to leave that’s fine. But then that’s on you.” If he doesn’t want you, he has to own that. He doesn’t get to play the hero who pretends to care about you when he’s really just looking for an out. Pity spreads across his face when he notices your tears.

“I never meant to hurt you.” He reaches out for you but this time you’re the one pulling away. If he’s going to go then you can’t give him anymore of you. Frankly, you’re not even sure if you have anything left to give.

“Can you please just go?” you whisper closing your eyes. You don’t want to see him leave but the masochist in you forces you to open your eyes to see his back as he walks out. He doesn’t look back but he doesn’t have to. His eyes said goodbye to you a long time ago.

You blink and somehow it breaks the bond between the two of you. He turns around leaving you all over again. You tell yourself that it’s fine, you didn’t want to see his face anyway. You tell yourself that everything is fine and that you don’t miss him. It’s just that your heart knows you’re lying.

#riven imagine #riven blurb #riven x reader #riven gif #riven #winx riven #fate the winx saga #fate the winx club #fate winx club #winx saga #winx club #fate winx #fate #fate: the winx saga

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