#(can also be emotionally repressed i accept all kinds in this house)

[bengiyo]

Be My Favorite Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

Last week, this show put me on my back foot when it asked me to be kind. So much of last week was about people choosing to be kinder to one another and that choice paying forward for the recipient. Kawi is building a genuine friendship with Pear. Pisaeng went to a gay club for the first time and saw Max. Max read the baby gay for being self-centered, but then softened it with good advice. Kwan encouraged Not to give Kawi just a little bit of encouragement after asking him to sign the book she had already panned. They subverted the rooftop confession by having Kawi gently turn Pisaeng down. Kawi actually sang and now is part of a band. I’m actually invested in this show now. Was not expecting that.

Hey, Kawi’s smiles are starting to look genuine.

It’s sad that this is probably the first time Kawi ever expressed his worries about his dad.

I know we better save Kawi’s dad’s life. Kob Songsit is one of the most reliable BL dads.

I like that Max is a prickly queer. You gotta establish boundaries with baby gays because they can glomp on way too hard.

Oh. I see. Pisaeng’s family isn’t just rich, they’re “comfortable.” Curious how Max will feel about Pisaeng having a complicated relationship with his mom, or the reveal that anyone with that level of wealth is involved in crimes.

Pear’s house was used in Dark Blue Kiss and Bakery Boys I’m pretty sure.

I am having a lot of feelings about this scene with Pear asking her dad to help Kawi’s. I’m sick, and one of my friends reached out to his doctor parents to get me into care. I don’t think I’d be alive without their help.

Oh, Kawi. Now is the time to be strong and tank the embarrassment. It isn’t bad that Pear knew what you wanted to ask. It’s actually good that Pisaeng told her. She was there as an advocate with you. The mission is your dad’s health, not your ego.

Okay, I do like this show finally acknowledging that all these arguments people have are so loud that other people definitely know what they’re saying. I love Max.

Max is speaking my thoughts. I will let him write the rest of this post.

“I will not apologize for doing what I thought was best to help you with a serious problem. However you feel about it, I will accept it,” is really something I think we could use more of in the West. I feel like we as Americans are obsessed with ‘winning the conversation’ as a concept, and I think it makes us inherently combative.

This Kawi reveal about the source of his anger is giving, “I’m angry at myself.”

Not sure where I sit on Pear and Not as a pairing.

I get how repressed Kawi is and everything, but don’t kiss a man who has confessed to you while you’re drunk. There’s no turning back now. And then he falls asleep! This messy spaghetti ass boy!

Pisaeng going from an emotionally-complicated queer encounter directly into a closeted conversation with his mom as he has to figure out in the morning how to explain Kawi’s presence is giving me intense emotional flashbacks.

Okay, this show broke me. Pisaeng is not stupid. Pisaeng has always known who he is. His mother manipulated him deep into the closet when he was 15, and he knows it. His mom is using his own community against him. Some of you may be shocked that his mom has gay people turning on each other, but there is a long history of the police infiltrating gay spaces and threatening people convictions to turn them into informants. This is the sickest thing I think we’ve seen in a long time from GMMTV. I am deeply appalled. I will have to blog about this because this is so evil. The weaponization of our own community into surveilling and reporting on each other makes me so angry. That she is also publicly progressive enough that a person like Max admires her also infuriates me.

Nevermind. Fuck Not. Why is he speculating about Kawi’s sexuality to Pear? This is not how you flirt.

Ah, we’re back to the time travel portion of the plot. I’m curious what Pisaeng does with this knowledge.

I like Pisaeng. Despite everything going on, he’s still focused on the important thing: Kawi’s dad.

I do think it was important for Kawi to speak directly to Pear’s dad about getting help for his father, and not letting it just be a favor Pear begged for.

I’m so glad Kawi went to Pear as well to apologize for running out on her. She’s incredibly understanding and I hope she finds happiness and fulfillment.

I often talk a lot about the relationship with gay boys and their moms, but I also have strong feeling about boys and their fathers. Kawi admitting that he feels no need to improve himself if his dad won’t get to see it hits me to my core. I love my dad. He and I get along great. I need to call him later today once I watch Strange New Worlds. I get this.

I don’t mind Pisaeng letting Kawi know he’s willing to wait for him to sort his feelings.

I am going to have to write a separate post at some point this weekend. I am not in the read headspace now to talk about the rage flowing through my veins right now at a businesswoman with political ambitions gaslighting her own son into staying in the closet, and then using her own queer employees to surveil him. For those of you new to marginalized spaces, enforcement organizations have infiltrated our spaces forever and turned our own people against us. This was especially easy queer spaces because white men were threatened with losing access to whiteness. I cannot overstate how evil this is and how unexpected it is for me to have a GMMTV show NOT from Golf going directly into this.

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[gingerlurk]

Lovers' Crest | Chapter 8: The Heist

Din Djarin x f!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: The plan really isn’t all that complicated. It’s just wildly dangerous and leaves plenty to chance…

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, slow burn, non-canon (the Razor Crest never gets destroyed, it also gets upgraded with a cabin), canon-typical violence, eventual smut/filth, post season 3, canon-typical violence, dry humping if you squint, loads of action, cliffhanger.

A/N: Thank you for reading!

--

Torre is ninety percent sure she is in love with that tin can buzzkill, though it perplexes him why. He’s also completely certain that it is reciprocated and knows the two of them haven’t admitted it to each other. If even to themselves.

The argument was an interesting listen. She’s just as emotionally repressed now as back then, unwilling or unable to accept any kind of esteem that isn’t coated in caveats and conditions. She also can’t stand having her intentions misunderstood.

He’s ninety percent sure, but he’s decided to shoot his shot anyway.

Start with touch, he thinks to himself, but go easy. It’s her primary love language, which is why she resists it so often. But she’s caught up in the job, letting him brush a hand on an elbow or pressing shoulders as they work. His hope is that it reaches into her subconscious and connects to what they used to have. It’s still in there; he can feel it. It’s why he’s letting go of the past, for her and what you two had.

‘You know, hon,’ he sighs, leaning his head on the wall by the panel she’s working at. ‘I was already watching you in that cantina, sitting in that booth with the weird green kid?’

‘Torre,’ she grits through the phase driver in her teeth. ‘Tryin’ t’concentrate.’

‘Oh please, you could do that in your sleep.’ He gets more comfortable. ‘I don’t think I’d actually recognised you at that point, but you still drew me in. Something you carry, dove. Something in you. I was honest to gods working up to go over to talk to you, before I even knew it was you…’ 

Torre touches her elbow, mutters her name. ‘What are the odds, huh? The same bar? The same day? After all this time? It must have been meant to be.’

A crackle from the panel and the lock cycles. She just gathers her tools and moves.

‘Another down, four to go,’ she says, waits for the hatch to slide and slips through. He ducks in behind her, crowding her subtly, and it hushes closed again. She doesn’t pause, just strides ahead.

Have patience, Torre tells himself. Pick your moment. He follows.

--

Din stews in anger, worry and regret.

Anger at Torre, as he’d watched him on the system vision move about you and take every excuse to touch you. Worry about the inbound smallcraft, detected on the scope moments after you’d dropped into the shield deck where comms were cut. Whatever that ship was, it wasn’t part of the plan.

And regret, a potent and searing regret that set in almost the second you’d turned away from him and marched off into the throws of the heist. It had doused him hard. Why had he done that? Accused you like that? Said all that after, to agree to partner with you, he’d made you share maybe your worst memory. Bare yourself to him. And it hadn’t even been to persuade him to let you work with him. He was already going to say yes. But he just wanted to know.

So he’d asked you. And you’d told him. And then he’d gone and used it to hurt you.

He wants to settle into mentally lashing himself but has to push it aside for now. Because this inbound craft is setting alarm bells to screaming in his mind and hot panic to washing through his body. He thinks he knows that beacon.

And he can’t fucking warn you because the treasury had obliterated comms with some kind of scramble set up around where the shields were housed. He’s not even sure you’ve noticed. Torre hadn’t told either of you that you’d lose channels on the shield deck, and Din had foolishly missed it, too clouded by rage and jealousy and… hurt.

It was R5 who’d spotted it. Too late to do anything about it though, and Din had thumped the console so hard the nervous droid had bleeped and whirred up a frenzy.

Now, he glares at the readings cascading around him, and decides.

He pulls up the ship holo on his vambrace. It’s not the live one, but he can still plot a direct line. Fuck any patrols he runs into. He has to get to you. Din lays down a litany of orders at the still chattering droid as he whirls from his chair and storms out of the cockpit.

--

You near your final door, ducking into a small alcove to await a passing patrol. By your own inner orientation, you’re roughly below and one corridor over from the first lock you’d passed. It’s taken forever but you’d met no company at all.

You’re almost impressed with Torre on this one. Then a hand lands on the small of your back and the impatience returns. You want this over. Want back on the Crest so you can apologise to Mando and tell him exactly how you feel, about everything.

The slap of several dozen boots echoes by. Quiet again, you move to the panel and get to work. Despite Torre’s claim you could do it sleeping, the procedure to circumvent the security is fiddly as shit.

Once you lightsaw into the doorplate, you have to find the surge protector unit – designed to accept any excess electrical load – and set your decoder keys to build your cypher. You have to watch both carefully at the same time, because once the surge opens, it is a matter of seconds to reroute the power flow and slip the interlocking latches over your fabricated code.

Then you wrench the lot free and it’s Torre’s job to jam a reseal protocol into the opening. It gives you three seconds to get through, before its locked tight again.

But you’d gotten quicker at it with the mandatory practice and it’s not taking long. You’re running the keys steadily, caught up in the sensation of mechanical parts moving to your will, when you hear an unexpected sound that makes your blood run cold.

Boots. Heavy, rapid boots thundering down a corridor to your right. Straight toward you. Torre hears it and swears.

He turns to you. ‘Shit, another patrol?’ his eyes are wild, uncontrolled. A different side of him. ‘We have to move!’

You don’t answer, trying to focus on getting this damn door open so you can escape whatever is about to barrel into your stowaway party.

‘Hurry up!’ he barks. It does not help. You drop your phase driver and swear.

‘Shut up,’ you say. But the sound of boots smacking the deck is getting closer and Torre is panicking next to you. He pulls a detonator from a pocket and readies it.

‘What the hells are you—’ you start right as he says, ‘Time’s up,’ and moves to toss it at the rear archway. With one hand still decoding the lock, you reach to grab it off him. But you’re too clumsy and, just as the lock gives way and the door clips open for its programmed few seconds, the bomb skitters to the side, beeps increasing.

Despite all that, you don’t duck through the door. Because in that moment the thundering footsteps round the corner – and it’s not a guard. You twist from your escape route and stare, hearing the lock engage again behind you and Torre cursing from the other side. 

‘Fuck! Shit!’ Calling your name. But you’re lunging into the vicinity of the explosion.

‘Mando!’ you shout. ‘Look o—’ He’s barrelling into you, arms raised to your head, just as the hallway erupts.

Deafening and painful reverb knocks you senseless as you tumble in every conceivable direction. Battered from every side, you try to just tuck yourself inwards and wait for the blackness to wipe you out.

It all stops suddenly and through the ringing cacophony, you assess where you are at.

You’re flat on your back, legs akimbo and elbows tucked in, hands pressed into the hard surface above you. Through blurry vision, it looks to you like part of the ceiling has caved in. You take a second to wonder why you aren’t being crushed to death when a deep throb in your cunt snaps you into focus.

Mando is on top of you, arms braced by your head and whole body straining to hold up the debris across his back. Your hands are flat against his cuirass, legs spread around his hips, and your now pulsing centre is pressed directly into his groin.

His helmet is by your ear and you are assailed by harsh pants and grunts pouring into you. He shifts some and the applied pressure sparkles on your clit.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You blink hard and shake yourself, trying to focus on the direness of the situation and not on how good this feels. Trying to not writhe and press yourself into him. Mando grunts your name and you die a little.

He says it again and then, ‘Can you-- can you move?’

‘Uh-’ you wiggle a little, oh fuck it’s unbearable. You flex your feet and find a small bit of purchase. ‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘Can you slide out and push this off me? I- I can’t shift without it toppling further.’ He can’t possibly have a clue what he’s doing to you, because as he adjusts the bearing of his arms, he presses himself harder into the apex of your thighs. You can’t stop yourself and cry out, even whine a little. ‘Shit, are you hurt?’  

‘A- ah, no, no, I don’t think so. It’s just, j-just so tight,’ you all but whimper.

‘I’m gonna try to lift some, then you move, okay?’ He’s making small movements again and you’re absolutely spare. ‘On three, okay?’

‘Okay, okay,’ you’re pressing your head into the solid floor and trying to will yourself out of this exquisite feeling. The man’s suffering, for gods’ sake. This is so wrong. 

‘One, two… three!’ He bears down on you for one second and you grit your teeth as hard as you can as an unbidden but forceful orgasm rushes through you. You try to make your ‘Hhhnnnh,’ sound like the effort of moving. 

As he lifts himself, you push and shimmy across the floor, wriggling up and up Mando’s body and feeling every single inch where you make contact sizzle with lust.

‘Good, you’re doing good,’ Mando is saying between heavy breaths and fuck you wish he’d stop. ‘Almost there.’ 

Sliding free, you pivot onto your knees and crouch low to get a shoulder under the panelling that had trapped the two of you.

‘On three again,’ you pant, sounding unnatural and husky to your own ears. You count in and heave upwards, your pleasure-frazzled body making a clumsy effort. But between the two of you, there’s enough give to let Mando scramble out. He gets free just as you drop the heavy weight. He orients himself and sits, facing away from you, to heave deep breaths.

He lays a hand on the floor and looks over his shoulder, ‘You okay?’

You, resting on your knees and heels, huff out a near crazed laugh. 

‘Yeah,’ you say, unable to keep the panting from your response. ‘Thanks.’

You both take a moment to let your breathing even out, which bounces around the demolished corridor in a way you find intoxicating. You’re just closing your eyes to let it sink into you when reality floods back in.

‘Shit!’ you say, leaping to your feet. You lunge at the doorway Torre had vanished through. He’s gone, nothing on the other side but a silent passageway. ‘That fucker.’ 

Mando steps up behind you. ‘He’s the least of our problems,’ he mutters, right in your ear again. 

You will yourself to calm down, turning to him. ‘What’s--?’

‘Another ship is docking, probably boarding by now,’ he says, moving to the side of the door and checking your handiwork. ‘How long will this last?’

‘Well,’ you say, motioning at the timer on your bracer. ‘It’s supposed to hold until we’re off this ship, but…’ you trail off, feeling lost and self-conscious as the plan falls apart. 

But Mando is moving into action, he punches at his own wrist and the entire ship winks into existence across his forearm. You stare at it.

‘How did you…?’ you ask.

‘Downloaded it off Torre’s terminal while he was distracted,’ he says. The while flirting brazenly with you part goes unspoken.

You just mutter a small ‘nice,’ and move in to look at the map.

‘Here,’ you point. ‘We can circle back on this path and get to the vault.’ Mando’s head snaps up at you.

‘What?’ he hisses. ‘No, we are getting off this ship now.’ He swipes a hand across the map so it whizzes to the Crest, then marks it as a waypoint. He starts to move off but you grab his elbow. Electricity crackles against your palm and when he spins back to you, he’s so close again you can hear his breathing.

‘We’re so close,’ you say, unsure why you can’t let go of this mission. ‘This new ship doesn’t change the fact you have to get that beskar back. Does it?’ He stands rigid in front of you.

Confused by Mando’s indecision, you just try to look imploring. He takes you in. You know it’s completely impossible, but you feel like his face is softening. Into a tenderness. And a hunger. Like he’s drinking you down, taking all of you. It draws you back to what it felt like when you were underneath him. 

It becomes too much, so you drop your gaze. ‘Please,’ you whisper. ‘We have to try, right?’

He seems to give in, lifts the ship map again. You realise you’re still gripping his elbow and let go so he can reset the waypoint.

‘This way, then,’ he says, moving with you.

Sprinting down the corridor, you can see the vault door wide open, jolting back and forth against an armoured guard’s crumpled body. You and Mando skid to a halt at the entrance and see Torre on his knees, shoving credits and precious metals into a satchel. He looks up.

‘Hey!’ he straightens, has the gall to look relieved. ‘You made it! Sweet. Hey, Mando.’

You move to lay into him but Mando shoves past you and, with a yelp from Torre, lifts your ex-heist partner by the lapels and shoves him into a row of lockboxes. Torre paws at his arms and kicks weakly before finding some composure. 

‘Hey now, hey!’ he tries for purchase against the shelves, lifts himself some to avoid choking. ‘We can still finish this together – I have the code for the escape pods, remember?’

You step up beside the two of them, start nudging at the pockets you can reach on Torre.

‘I’m sure we can handle that ourselves,’ you say, enjoying yourself for a moment.

‘No! No, no, no,’ he pants. ‘Same deal- same deal at before, locked- to me, only me. Look!’ eyes to the side, ‘there’s your prize! I’ve got it all ready to go. Look!’ His knuckles are white against Mando’s armour and his eyes are rolling back.

But you and Mando look and see a satchel sitting open, the beskar bars stacked neatly inside.

You sneer. ‘You were gonna take it, weren’t y—’ You’re cut off by Mando dropping him to the ground. ‘What’re you?’ But you notice the urgent beeping of R5 coming from his vambrace. Mando checks it and twists to grab the satchel, throwing it over a shoulder.

‘Time to go,’ he commands.

You don’t question it, just follow, sensing Torre get to his feet, grab the loot and stumble after you.

With the timing thrown out and your path interrupted by Torre’s stupidity, there’s no choice but to confront a patrol to get to your escape.

As the three of you charge a squad of ten, you can’t help dropping a sarcastic ‘so much for fast and quiet,’ into Torre’s ear. He returns a shrug and smile, misreading your state.

‘Fun though?’ he says as he expertly grapples a stunned fighter and locks their airway before shoving them aside.

You roll your eyes, ducking into a forward tumble on the floor to twist up another solider at the knees with your feet, pushing the stumbling figure into Torre to execute the same move.

A rough hand on your shoulder yanks you up and you start for a second. But it lets go with a yelp. You turn to see Mando slamming the grabber into the wall so hard it leaves a dent there. He lifts the limp body and hurls it into two others.

You move to his back, pressing shoulder blades to cover his six while he douses the two stumbling figures with a gout of flame. A guard moves in to assault you with the sparking tip of his weapon and you reach your arms up, gripping Mando’s shoulders and lifting your feet. He braces you easily so you can plant one foot hard into the on-comer’s chest as the other toes at the weapon to force it into his face. His forward momentum and absolute surprise at the move lets the electric current catch him fully. He jolts and crumples. 

Just as the body hits the deck, Torre ducks in and grabs the baton, taking it up and – with a flourish – landing it home in the centre mass of another assailant.

Mando shoves you around. Confused for a second, it evaporates as you hear the familiar sound of blaster fire glancing off beskar. You grab his arm to look around and see the three final squad members hunched in the edges of an archway, weapons free.

Mando backs you up, up, until you have cover.

‘Stay down for a sec, okay?’ he says. He waits for your nod. Then he turns back to the onslaught, tugging detonators off his belt. You spot a downed foe feet from you and risk a hasty scramble to take up its blaster, trying to lay down cover fire.

You notice Torre on the other side of your arch, doing the same thing. He glances at you with a ‘what’s his play?’ look but you just focus back on the stalking shape of Mando. He takes a ruthless amount of firepower before leaping forward, hurling the hot little devices into the feet of the enemy.

An ear-splitting bang fills the hall with smoke. You huddle for a second before a hand is at your shoulder, offering you an arm up. You take it and get to your feet, a quip on the tip of your tongue before you see it’s Torre holding your hand.

‘Nice,’ he huffs. ‘Quite the team, aren’t we?’

You tug your hand back just as Mando emerges from the smoke to step flush with the two of you. 

‘We’re running out of time,’ he says.

‘Let’s go then,’ you say, laying a hand on his elbow as you move past. Mando reciprocates with a palm between your shoulders, where you’d leaned your weight into him mere moments before. He may as well be consuming your entire body.

You will the feeling aside for later and dash pass the three incinerated bodies.

It’s a few minutes of running and pivoting, following Mando’s barked commands of ‘left!’, ‘ahead!’, ‘third corridor!’ before you sense that you’re finally nearing the escape vessels.

‘Straight on, then right!’ he shouts.

Nearly out of here.

But you round the bend to find company waiting. Yet another troop stood staunch and ready.

Torre turns, ‘Shit! Where’s he gone!’

You look around and feel a flash of panic as you don’t see Mando. He’s no longer with you. He was here a second ago! Confused and distressed, you whip back to take in the eight menacing bodies of armour – half with blasters trained on you, the other half readying shock batons. With no choice, you raise your arms. Maybe you can buy some time t--

The Mandalorian strides around the corner at the opposite end of the passageway, taking them at the rear in the span of a heartbeat. All eight guards zero in on him like filings to a magnet. They’re barking orders and unleashing a hellish assault as Mando whips up a tempest.

And it’s like they’ve completely forgotten about you.

Before you can move, Torre grabs your arm and drags you to an escape hatch. The doors of each one are stood wide thanks to his programming. You wrench out of his grasp and shoot daggers at him, ‘What are you d--?'

‘Come with me!’ Torre holds out a hand with one foot inside the pod. Booty slung across his shoulder and blue eyes sparkling with his plea. In the flickering light he looks just like the boy you knew.

You look with panic to Mando, who is holding one guard in an elbow hold while another pummels his back and shoulders. He grunts and hurls the first, now limp, body into the others. He twists around to find where you are, spotting the scene of you standing next to Torre with his arm stretched toward you.

‘He’ll be fine, just come! Come now!’

It’s enough. The split second of distraction the sight brings is enough to let an attacker jam a shock prod into Mando’s side. He convulses and drops to a knee. A second jab with the rod and he slumps. 

‘No!’ You sprint toward the skirmish, faintly hearing the hiss and click of the pod latch behind you. You slow only to tug a blaster out of a felled guard’s hand.

Mando is on his hands and knees and you use the clear path to land shots on two of them. As one body begins to drop you drive into it with all your force, scattering the three remaining who trip and stumble out of the way.

Scrambling to the disoriented form of your partner, you get an arm under his and heave him toward another hatch standing open, kicking the satchel of beskar ahead of you. The weight and strain pulls the muscles of your hip and sides, which all start screaming in protest. You’re about to collapse when that thing you fear grows inside you and pushes against the strain. 

You let it, feeling the inhuman power drag you forwards.

Mando is through the door and shoved into a seat and the beskar is hurled in behind. All you have to do is throw yourself in there too and somehow get the latch closed—

A hard, metal arm hooks around your throat and drags you backwards. You try to grip the door jam but whatever created that furnace inside you has snuffed out and you flail in vain as you’re pulled from the pod.

In that one desperate second, you make a choice.

You grip the guard’s forearm and tighten it against your neck, throwing him off balance just enough to lift both feet in the air and slam a heel into the control panel, launching the pod. Through the stars that erupt across your vision, you briefly glimpse your Mandalorian sit up and lunge for the door, but it’s already falling away from the side of the ship.

A searing pain screams out of your shoulder, against your neck, and everything goes black.

--

He doesn’t even reach the door before the little emergency vessel lurches into an unstable spin and Din has to stagger back into the control seat, needing to push all thought of you aside. Not for long though.

Gripping the controls he strains against the torque, dangling precariously to the side for a second as the pod sways against the ignition thrusters. After a brief, stomach-churning struggle, he manages to nudge the thrust into stable motion. 

He jams on the comms, the image of you being yanked away flooding back in.

‘R5, do you copy!’ he yells. The beep of binary comes back instantly.

‘I’m sending a vessel code. Find me and set its coordinates to the new rendezvous I’m transmitting now, then meet me there.’

Affirmative nonsense chirps back and Din feels the small craft’s momentum change from aimless plummeting to following a clear trajectory.

He collapses back and tries to settle his ragged breathing. His pounding heart. Nothing to do now but wait.

Din crashes into the tiny villa with ferocious intent, but he’s too late. The data table lies empty, the input panel smashed to smithers. Torre has already been here, and he’s made damn sure to cover his tracks. Din glances to the side and sees your final discarded meal, cold and congealing like so much desperation.

He gives himself one second to slam a fist into the wall. Then he notches the scanner on his visor and takes in the surroundings, stalking back into the street. The town is too busy to make out any genuine set of tracks. He could try to—

Wait. What is he doing anyway? He doesn’t want to find Torre. He needs to find you.

But that treasury, after an incursion like their heist, would have changed course by now. Its security protocols are taking it far out of Din’s reach. He could track it down eventually, but what would happen to you while he does that? What’s happening to you right now? He fights despair, feels it rising to drown him. With every passing second, he is less and less able to stop it.

He kicks himself. Just do something. Go get Grogu, that’s the first step. Do that and then figure out the next…

He thinks of his son. A wild, desperate idea comes to him and he sprints in the direction of the Crest.

--

Prev | Next

******

Yeah so I stole Din's moves from the show, but I figure they worked for him then, so why wouldn't he use them again?

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfic

[marley-manson]

☕️ beejhawk don't work as a pairing post war

Thank you! lol agreed, at least for me personally, the way I view the characters and their relationship.

The rest of this is under a cut to spare my beejhawk followers the negativity

For me they're a perfect weird messy sad fling, but I can't see them living happily ever after, and I don't particularly want to.

I don't think Hawkeye would be happy with BJ longterm. BJ's issues that cause problems between them don't strike me as a war-zone thing, or a gay repression thing. They strike me as a BJ thing. The classic passive aggressive lashing out in Wheelers and Dealers, the hypocritical disparaging of Hawkeye's emotional reponses in episodes like Rally Round the Flagg and Back Pay, the needling in No Laughing Matter or Dear Uncle Abdul, the resentment in Heroes or Joker is Wild, these all strike me not as flaws that manifested during the war or the result of repression, but rather signs of insecurity. I see BJ as someone who lashes out at others to make himself feel better and sometimes superior, both textually through the pranks ("taking your frustrations out on other people. You know, good, clean American fun") and less overtly through his condescension and like, negging lol.

And since we're in BJ/Hawkeye headcanon territory here anyway I'll go a step further and add that I also find it easy to imagine BJ as kind of ironically seeing a relationship between him and Hawkeye the way a lot of the fandom sees it, but yk, wrongly: positioning himself as Hawkeye's saviour, the rational, solid, long-suffering support propping the irrational, insecure, damaged Hawkeye up and saving him from himself. He'd frame it like that to help himself deny all the ways he's fucked up and traumatized himself, and, like in the show, he'd fail to actually be the kind of emotionally open partner who can engage with Hawkeye on his own terms, rather than projecting his own misapprehensions onto Hawkeye.

(I also don't think he'd cope too well with being with a fellow surgeon. I can't see BJ easily throwing off the heteronormativity even after coming out, and having a partner who works as much as he does would drive him up the wall. Which could be a very interesting layer if he goes to Maine while Hawkeye's still on sabbatical and has time to play house, until Hawkeye gets his drive back and wants to return to surgery...)

And I just don't see Hawkeye as emotionally attached enough to put up with these issues for long when he has other options. Over the course of the show we see him getting a little more distanced from BJ and relying on others for support and emotional connection instead of him, like Mulcahy in Letters or Margaret in Stars and Stripes or Charles in Sons and Bowlers. He tries to support BJ in Bombshells but leaves when BJ waves him off and the emotional distance between them there is palpable. Hawkeye accepts that their close friendship is functionally over now that the war is over which is why he wants BJ to say goodbye in GFA. He'll miss him and he's glad he was there with him in Hell, but he'll move on. He's the kind of guy who makes friends and forms relationships very easily, I can't imagine him pining for BJ and waiting for him.

If BJ did go to Maine and sweep Hawkeye off his feet with a declaration of love shortly after the war, and honestly I could see that lol, I think they'd last a few months at best.

That's just how I see their dynamic, ofc. I enjoy emphasizing the flaws. But the usual alternative, that BJ really is a great supportive partner and they slowly but steadily recover from the trauma of war together and live happily ever after, bores me to tears lol. It's possible, maybe BJ does get his shit together with the war behind him and having embraced his true sexuality, and maybe they fall into that season 5-ish happy partners vibe. But man that's just not for me, I find their chemistry and dynamic unspeakably boring without the relationship-breaking strife.

send me controversial or unpopular opinions and I’ll tell you if I agree or disagree 🐸 ☕️

#marley on mash #ship hb #ask meme #took the opportunity to get into some of my headcanons this time bc i've written lots about their canon issues

[ethereal-lost-dreamer]

About my The Owl House OC (and other relevant details)

Sounds crazy, right? Everything about this AU stemmed from a particular desire to provide Luz with emotional support, someone she could see herself with, other than her friends from the Boiling Islands or even Camila. So, to clarify the AU, I think it would be appropriate to introduce Christopher himself, as he is the biggest change there is from canon. So, here some probably obvious questions that I will already answer and which I believe will be able to further clarify the alternative plot.

Who is he, in more detail?

In addition to what has already been mentioned, as Luz's father and Camilla's husband, Christopher is also a considerably popular figure, being the astronomer of Gravesfield. Being a person of German origins, though not particularly interested in remembering his past stay in his former homeland. An intellectual and introspective man, although being the greatest source that originated Luz's eccentricity; the reason for this? Without revealing too many details, he hopes that Luz's childhood and growth as a person will in no way resemble what he had decades ago. Before the event of going to the Boiling Islands with Luz, see him in the Human Realm as an example of a father and husband: constantly dedicated and present emotionally and physically, both for Luz and Camila; Christopher's priorities are based precisely and solely on them, on providing total well-being for the life they have, on preserving the peaceful environment and keeping them always away from any animosities, frustrations or misfortunes of life; emotional support? Unconditional trust for any occasion? Never, ever thinking only of himself? These are some of the moods as a father and husband that are always present in Christopher's nature, among other traits that clarify how much Christopher never sees himself as a property, someone with whom they should think a lot about, but dedicate himself at every moment to preserving the absolute well-being of his family. Can it be considered worrying how little value he places on himself? Maybe, but he doesn't see it, he doesn't care about it, because his happiness is found in Luz and Camila, in always seeing them happy, satisfied and at peace, without exception.

What is his role in the plot?

I confess that I originally conceived of Christopher as an emotional support, however I still appreciate thinking of him in that way. How to summarize it? The voice of reason, the thought of common sense or the selfless companion? See him playing each role mentioned in the course of the plot. Since long before he even embarked with Luz for the Demon Realm, Christopher has been everyone's safe haven: for Luz, a figure of total and constant support, taking pride in always seeing her being who she truly is; for Camila, the affection that exudes how reliable and dedicated he is, always seeing her as an eternal admiration, someone who was always worth being by his side; to Eda, King, Amity, Willow, Gus, Lilith, Hooty and everyone else, a mature friend, someone easy to get along with as he is pleasant, calm and kind but equally capable of rolling up his sleeves to defend them with his bare hands. While he doesn't consider himself particularly valuable nor does he view himself with admiration, that's exactly how he views everyone else. That is, he plays an emotional role for everyone in the plot, while also charting his own path as an individual being, tainted by decades-long repression and the quest to let go of any past memories. He is, above all, a good friend.

Other additional details.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Height: 6' 1" (185 cm).

Age: 45 years old.

Sexuality: Straight ally.

Species: Human.

MBTI: INFJ-T.

Nationality: German.

What made him go to the Demon Realm: Despite being very much against his will, Christopher gave in and accepted the idea of ​​Luz going to the camp, making himself available to take her, taking advantage of also having to go to a weeks conference accompanied by other astronomers. Then, events unfold similarly to canon, with Christopher still hesitant with the decision, but, like Luz, distracted by Owlbert's withdrawal, with both accompanying the palisman, being the beginning of the journey.

Final considerations? I definitely feel interested in bringing more content related to him and perhaps the rest of my OC's, but Christopher will certainly be a priority for , for that reason I chose not to reveal absolutely everything about him in this post, only the basics to present him as a character. I really like to think that, in the beginning, I created it with the one and only overarching purpose of just making everyone's lives better in the canon; there have been changes, new additions of information, others altered, but that certainly remains the main reason for having introduced him in The Owl House.

#about my oc #oc #original character #oc stuff #oc lore #the owl house oc #toh oc #christopher noceda #oc creator

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Cassandra Delphia “Cassie Dare” Henderson 1983 Bio - Killer Queen

Full Name: Cassandra Delphia "Cassie Dare" Henderson

Quote:

Age: Fifteen/Sixteen Years Old

Birthday: November 10, 1967

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Current place of residence: 2886 Piney Wood Drive, Hawkins, Indiana

Relations: Dustin Henderson (Younger Brother), Claudia Henderson (Mother), Pan Henderson (Father)

Appearance: Long light auburn-brown hair, Hazel eyes, Five foot four

Personality: Cassie Dare uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism, she covers her pain with jokes and fake smiles and pushes people away when she needs them the most. She's incredibly smart but tends to act dumber than she was to get people to underestimate her. She was fiercely protective of those she loves, especially her little brother and becomes violent when they're threatened. She already regularly threatens violence but usually, she's all bark and no bite until she's provoked or someone she cares about--especially her little brother, Dustin Henderson and to a slightly less extent, Steve Harrington--are threatened, then she becomes relentlessly violent. She has a problem with authority as she gets bored easily and hates sitting still yet is innately curious. She is hyperactive and impulsive, this being the reason why she hasn't fully shut down emotionally due to repressed trauma. She also hints that she may have picked up her rebellious behavior from her father.

She is an ambivert and seems like an introvert unless she trusts who she's with and she shows extroverted characteristics.

She shares many traits with her little brother, Dustin such as nerdiness, geekiness, a love for Dungeons and Dragons, bluntness, dramaticism, loudness, empathy, intellect, rudeness, language, acceptance, loyalty, snarkiness, sarcasm, and bravery.

Cassie Dare can be a bit overzealous in what she's interested in.

Unlike Nancy, she chooses to remain moral even if the consequences are negative towards her and it gets her in trouble. When she's about to get in trouble with someone else she always sacrifices herself and denies anyone else had anything to do with it.

While she is fine with her current popularity status which is not considered either popular or unpopular and won't miss a chance to snap at Nancy over hers, Cassie Dare shows shades of a "mean girl" such as how she points out Nancy's insecurities and fears and makes passive-aggressive comments towards Carol. When she feels that people aren't seeing their obvious faults and it continues or they cross a line she won't hesitate to call them out without mercy.

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Personality Type: INFP (The Dreamer; Mediator)

Relationship with Steve Harrington - She views Steve Harrington as a hero as despite them having been friends since they were babies when she and her father moved back to Hawkins when she was six, she views Steve as her hero as he saved her from bullying when they were younger and have been inseparable since, however when she knows he goes over the line, she calls him out on it. Steve doesn't really realize just how much Cassie Dare cares for him until it's too late.

She is oblivious to Steve's feelings for her due to her insecurities and honestly believes that she is too broken for him and Steve believes that she is too good for him as she is empathetic and genuinely kind even when she has nothing to gain and though it baffles him she is at most reluctant to engage into the cruelty of the teen social behavior that is brought upon her by those like Tommy H. and Carol.

He views her just as highly as she views him, even after her memory loss and trauma, as she is his Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Disorders: ADHD (But in the eighties it wasn't known as ADHD until 1987. It was known as Hyperkinetic reaction of childhood. And I hate that. It sounds like they're blaming your childhood which is an infuriating common misconception of ADHD), PTSD

Tropes:

Manic Pixie Dream Girl - Cassie Dare is this to Steve Harrington, where his life is full of selfishness, neglect, sex, intoxication, cruelty, infidelity, and loneliness, Cassie Dare is empathetic, loyal, kind, and compassionate while still rebellious and adventurous.

Birds of a Feather - She and Steve are very alike while they are also very different. Both of them have somewhat neglectful parents, Steve's are never around and Cassie Dare's mother is at most emotionally distant and she has a stronger bond with her father who lives in Indianapolis. Both Steve and Cassie Dare had defense mechanisms that pushes others away.

Opposite Attract - Cassie Dare is also very different to Steve as she is nowhere near as wealthy as he is. She is not popular and she is a geek while he is a jock. She chooses to be kind to others while Steve has the King Steve façade.

Friends: Dustin Henderson (Little brother), Pan Henderson (Father), Jonathan Byers, Will Byers, Joyce Byers (Honorary mother), Lucas Sinclair (on-and-off), Nancy Wheeler (on-and-off), Mike Wheeler, Barbra Holland, Steve Harrington (Best Friend/Crush); Eddie Munson (Good Close friend/Club member)

Enemies: Carol, Tommy H., Nicole, Anyone who dares mess with her little brother.

Skills: Sherlock Scan, Hyperfixation, Intellect, Basic Sword fighting, Basic gymnastics, D&D knowledge, Martial arts, Combatant, Staff Proficiency, Empathy, Apathy; Skilled Detective, Skilled Marksman, Intuition, Basic Swordsmanship, Archery, Gun Proficiency

DnD Class: (Multi-Classed; her personality is layered and unpredictable and the Party have different opinions on her class)

Bard (The Party generally agree she mostly matches the Bard in which her general personality as she often outwits and/or messes with people by talking/charming/tricking them and there's her obvious love of music and has always been highly skilled at reading a room, there's her famous mischeivoiusness and she has a philosophical way of thinking and like Dustin she can be consider diplomatic in terms of a relationship as her personality type is called the "mediator" though she's often too brutal to be truly considered to be either "diplomatic" or "a mediator")

Or Fighter (This is how she becomes at first sight of anyone she cares about is threatened; she is increadbly brave and well-adverse in using weapons as Pan felt it was crucial for her to know how to defend herself and others. She isn't afriid to fight, she's intellignet in multiple ways, adaptable, and fearless. She does have the ability to be stragetic, however her emotion does impair her judgement in the moment and when she's protecting someone she cares about, her emotion overrule and she acts out but when protecting someone from a situation, she does possess a levelhead and thinks strategically.)

Or Rogue (She is considered this more than a fighter class in general, because this is how she got her reputation and it's another the Party agrees fits her well. Her acts of rebellion are generally done with stealth and she always hides her accomplices with deception, she is very sneaky and stealthy, able to move like a ninja. She has a tendency to isolate herself as she feels no one in Hawkins truly understands her like she does, she is known for being unashamed and unafraid of how society views her, and has always seen the rules of others' as "guidelines" rather than something to actually take seriously.)

Or Cleric (The Party also feel she fits for a "Cleric" due to her level of protectiveness and selflessness, as she unwaveringly does what she feels is the best call for everybody in the party which is what she always does to keep her friends from getting into trouble, her protectiveness and loyalty are a few of her most prominent traits.)

Guardian. (While not the same kind of class as the others, this is the class the Party best feels fits Cassie and she has preferred to herself as this herself. As she doesn't just make decisions best for the Party but she actively fights to protect them.)

Abilities:

Precognition - Cassie Dare can see the future to some extent, mostly she can only see possibilities but she knows one will absolutely be true. Her techniques of this vary between old-fashioned visions or visual hallucinations, whether seeing something that foreshadows the future or straight-up hallucinations of bizarre things that actively speak to her, giving her the feeling of losing her mind.

Limits - If she actively uses her powers too much it can make her nosebleed, make her cry blood, give her headaches, make her dizzy, blur her vision, or render her unconscious.

Equipment: Camera, Guitar, Bentley car

Inspiration: Max Caulfield from Life is Strange (Not so much anymore),Phoebe Halliwell from Charmed, Samantha Kingston from Before I Fall; Kent McFuller from Before I Fall; Harper from Set It Up; Lucy Pevensie from Narnia

Theme Song(s): Mad World (Tears for Fears), Cherry Bomb (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts), Killer Queen (Queen)

Favorite Songs: Killer Queen (Queen); Carry On, Wayward Son (Kansas); Mad World (Tears for Fears), Sweet Jane (Originally written the Velvet Underground but her preferred one is the cover by Cowboy Junkies); Cherry Bomb (The Runaways); 9 to 5 (Dolly Parton), Don’t Fear the Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult)

Favorite Bands and Singers: The Police; the Velvet Underground; Cowboy Junkies; ABBA; The Smiths; Queen (Shared with her father's favorite band); Kansas; The Runaways; Dolly Parton; Blue Oyster Cult; Tears for Fears; Foreigner; Yes; Joan Jett

Etymology:

Cassandra - Seer who could see the future but was never believed in Greek Mythology

Delphia - One who can predict future

Cassie - Shining over man; Purity; Unheeded prophetess; Who fills men with love; Shine upon mankind

Dare - A rebellious name; (Also the name of a moral with the sight in the Percy Jackson series)

Nicknames/Aliases: Angel (By Pan Henderson), Cass (By friends), Cassie Dare, Cassie, C.D.

Face Claim: 

As a child: Georgie Henley

As a teen/adult: Zoey Deutch

*Hyperkinetic reaction of childhood is what they called ADHD before they first started calling it ADHD. And I don't like that. It wasn't called ADHD until 1987 and wasn't recognized as a mental disorder until sometime in the sixties despite being known since 1798.*

*Also, never say that ADHD is just an excuse because it's not. If you don't have ADHD, you can't possibly understand what it's like. People without ADJD act like it's just a minor inconvenience in life but it's not just a learning disorder, it's connected to everything in life and if you let it, it can run your life.*

*Seriously, this is one of the most common disorders in the world and it's still mostly known for its stereotypes.*

*An active power means you can see the results like in Charmed. Telekinesis and freezing time is active but precognition is passive.*

#the eccedentiast #Killer Queen #Steve Harrington x Original Female Character #Steve Harrington x Henderson!Original Character #Steve Harrington x Henderson!OFC #Steve Harrington x Henderson!OC #Steve Harrington x Henderson!Sister #Zoey Deutch #Cassie Henderson #Pan Henderson #David Tennant Characters #David Tennant Plays OC's Father #Steve Harrington #Dustin Henderson #Nancy Wheeler #Jonathan Byers #Georgie Henley #Stranger Things #Stranger Things Rewrite #Cassie Dare Henderson #Cassandra Henderson #Eddie Munson #Dustin Henderson's Older Sister #Dustin Henderson Has an Older Sister

[lol-misantlery]

Yuletide 2022

Hello! I am misantlery on ao3. I accept treats!

Under the read more are specific details about what I want for Mad Men, Don’t Worry Darling RPF, Star Wars RPF, Peacemaker, House of the Dragon, and Cloak & Dagger.

General Likes

PINING, awkwardness, people being inexplicably fond of each other, breaking up/making up fic, people being emotionally repressed, denial, FORCED INTIMACY (pretending to be dating, bed sharing, huddling for warmth, trapped in elevator/closet/room together), amnesia fic, first times, hurt/comfort, trust issues, hooker aus, robot aus, canon-divergent aus, happily ever afters.

I am good with g-rated or nc-17 rated fic, but if you’re comfortable writing porn here are some things I am into:

character driven porn, hangups and sexy shame, pining while fucking, tender railing, rough sex, a 'stop trying to make love to me while I'm trying to fuck you' vibe, frottage, oral (blowjobs, cunnilingus, and rimming), comeplay, overstimulation, first times, bad decision sex, sexual experimentation, fun/goofy/‘bad’ sex, intimacy issues, dubcon of the sex pollen/something made them do it variety.

Do Not Wants

rape/non con, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mundane aus, soulmate marks aus, 24/7 BDSM, non canonical major character death, harm to animals, unhappy endings, mpreg, issuefic [fic focused on sexuality/identity issues], harm to children.

If you want to know some more about what i’m into for each fandom/want some prompts, then keep reading but don’t stress about following each prompt to the letter or anything. They’re here for inspiration!

Mad Men: Bob Benson, Pete Campbell

This is probably my forever yuletide fandom! The show’s been over for a while now, but I still have an enormous soft spot for the love story of Bob and Pete, and would read any number of variations on it. I don’t mind if you ignore certain parts of canon (s7) or go canon divergent, you can also follow canon if want (Bob shows up in Wichita??) GO WILD. Shipping Bob/Pete began as a joke for me, but I do ship it for real. I like that Bob is all *_________* about Pete and Pete is simultaneously disgusted and intrigued. He might not be gay, but he’s definitely into someone who’s into him. Also, if you just want to write about Bob I’d be really interested in his past and what the whole “manservant” deal was. We pretty much know nothing about him and I’d be interested in some backstory, but I’m not exactly looking for Bob/OMC PWP. In case it seemed that way! btw, here is a supercut of all Bob/Pete scenes (pw: kneetouching). Enjoy! Prompts: Fake dating: The CEO of a big company is secretly gay and Pete thinks pretending to be gay will form a bond of solidarity that will give him an edge, but the CEO mistakes this for interest and Pete scrambles to come up with an excuse to get out of doing anything gay and he comes up with, “I have a lover! You may have met him…” They go to a gay bar lolz and awkwardness ensue. Pete molds Bob into the Perfect Ad Man and falls for him in the process. Basically “My Fair Lady” with a hillbilly and sodomy. Groundhog day fic: Pete has to go through the same day again and again, tries to get help from Ken, Peggy, etc, and then comes to the realization that only Bob believes him. Bob is a conman who starts out trying to seduce Pete as part of a long con, but ends up falling in love. What if Bob is a spy who mistakes Pete for his contact because Pete compliments his tie? what kind of spy and mistaken identity shenanigans could ensue? What if Bob and Pete + the Purge??? (Please see my previous letters for why I am strangely compelled by adding the Purge to assorted canons.) I feel like Bob would do well. He’s got secrets. Maybe one of those secrets is a facility with weaponry. Also, sodomy wasn’t legal in New York until the 1980s. What if someone in the office awkwardly asks Bob what he’s going to do during the Purge and Pete is appalled, because how uncouth! Everyone knows you don’t ask people what they’re going to do during the Purge! And then Bob makes some veiled comment about how he always spends his Purges banging dudes, and Pete is horribly Intrigued because sex stuff is never a Purge thing he’d thought of. I love California Pete and the stupid little sweater he has over his shoulders and just his whole vibe in general. I would love to see Bob meet California Pete and struggle to figure out the right tack to take with this version of him. Would Pete going in for a hug blow Bob’s entire mind??? The more ridiculous you can go with this the better! I love sex pollen! Maybe Pete tries to sell a perfume that turns out to have sexy properties and Bob tries to help and hilarity, porn and sexy shame ensue. Or you could take this in another direction! Maybe it happens after Bob humiliates Pete with the Chevy execs. I love the desperation of having to go to your enemy for mercy. This would be awesome with either one of them being the sex pollenee.

Don’t Worry Darling RPF: Olivia Wilde, Florence Pugh

This is the kind of low stakes celebrity drama I love. Beautiful people at fancy film festivals using their stylists to vague about each other! If you're not familiar with this, here is a good rundown. I love that Olivia really goes all in on how of COURSE Florence is the best!1! There's no drama here! while Florence barely holds back her dislike. I'd love to see that antagonistic dynamic explored and maybe have it translated into hatesex, if you are so inclined! While I'm flexible about the reason for their antagonism (perceived or real unprofessionalism, perceive or real jealousy) I don't want a lot of focus on how Olivia's current or past SOs feel about it.

Some possible fic ideas, if you want them:

• They mostly avoided doing any kind of promo together, but what if DWD gets a sequel and they have to work together again? Maybe this time the movie goes full canon Alice/Bunny. Or maybe that MCU movie Olivia is directing is about Yelena!

• An argument leaves them left behind on set when the crew leaves in disgust. A low stakes stranded scenario that nevertheless leads to huddling for warmth and talking/fucking/sorting out their problems.

• AU where having fired Shia, Olivia is forced to take the role herself, leading to her directing a sex scene with Florence that gets out of hand

• I'm also here for angry sex/hatesex at the Venice Film Festival or on set or backstage at an awards show.

• Black Widow AU

• Or for something different: this tweet.

Don't you get it? There IS no Don't Worry Darling. All of this is the movie. The trailer, the feuds, the relationship, the custody papers, the press, spitting on Chris Pine, kissing Nick Kroll, all of this is the movie.

Performance art! Go wild with it!

Star Wars RPF: Any (Oscar Isaac, Pedro Pascal, Domhnall Gleeson) You definitely don't have to include all three of them in the fic. I love the way Oscar plays off both of them separately and would be happy with fic exploring his friendship with either of them! If you do go for shipfic, I would prefer to handwave past or current SOs altogether. Oscar Isaac + Domhnall Gleeson I love them together and I love them separately. They're endlessly enjoyable to watch together both in-character and in interviews and I found the Ex Machina press tour delightful. I love the dynamic we see in interviews— needling each other, escalating to make the other laugh, relentless banter. It's great. In terms of fic, I'm happy with Ex Machina era fic or something set during the multiple Star Wars or current day, future fic— whatever works for you! I'll also be happy to get something shippy or genfic about them getting stoned and deep discussing the ethics of robotfucking or philosophizing about method acting and character bleed. I love them and I'll be happy to get anything with these two. Some prompts: • 5+1 fic. Maybe something like '5 projects they didn't star in and one they did.' Or the opposite! • I'd really love for them to make another movie together so feel free to go full wish fulfillment here. I'm down for anything— more Star Wars? Sounds good to me! A romcom? Amazing! An awards darling? I love it! • Speaking of awards darlings, I shamelessly love awards season, so something set during it would be A+. Are they promoting a movie together? Are they competing in the same category? #giveoscaranoscar? • I recently saw a picture of Oscar and Domhnall's dad Brendan Gleeson and it reminded of Oscar saying Domhnall's never invited him to Dublin, so maybe something where he visits and they catch up. IDK, I'm picturing some Before trilogy-type vibes and maybe some making out. • I'd also be down for something set during a disastrous nightmare shoot— the film's over budget, over time, they're half-stranded in a remote location, and there's only one bed?? I love forced proximity tropes so feel free to stack as many of them as you want. • I love media fic in RPF: fake interviews, fake tweets, fake long distance texting. • I love reunions and the potential there with repeat costars. I'd love fic about them coming together after the months/years apart between projects. • Consider: Oscar in a skirt. • I'm happy with whatever vibe you want to write. Humor, angst, straight up PWP. It's all good. Oscar Isaac + Pedro Pascal Oscar and Pedro - what can I even say about these two? I love their almost 2 decade friendship, their incredibly comfortable and easy banter, and the way they constantly give each other shit. 2022 has brought an absolute wealth of interviews and social media posts highlighting their love for each other and I have greedily consumed each one in delight. I just want more of these two space sisters in their space pod. I am very much in favor of you going full Oscar/Pedro romance but I’ll be happy with whatever you write! I had their current DILF selves in mind for most of my prompts but if you want to explore the beginnings of their relationship or any part of its development over the years I would definitely love that! Some ideas! • Holidays Oscar and Pedro spend together over the years • Any kind of slice of life with their usual banter: filming Triple Frontier, supporting each other’s projects, just hanging out, whatever! • Forced proximity tropes and media fic are also very welcome here too! • This! 

Pedro thinks Oscar looks like Sam the Eagle – Muppet AU??? Is there a world where Oscar has simply always been a muppet? Does Oscar wake up to find himself made of felt and a body that’s 80% eyebrows? Or is it Pedro that wakes up to find Oscar passed the muppet curse onto him? Surprise me! • Space AU! • Also this!  -Pedro and Oscar disagreeing on who would win a fight between Mando and Moon Knight made me instantly think of that “Could you take them?/Yeah/Oh you mean in a fight” Lil Nas X post. There’s clearly only one way to resolve this, and that’s with boning. -Pedro won’t reveal his secret nickname for Oscar even wearing a lie detector because some things must stay sacred. Is it sexy? Embarrassing? Disgustingly romantic? • Consider again: Oscar in a skirt • Additional things for your consideration: here, here, and here.  Oscar says he’s slutty, slutty Pedro’s ride or die and he’s never been led astray by another actor and John Boyega calls bullshit! I’d love anything exploring this. What's up with Oscar suddenly changing his tune and calling himself the most devoted when previously he’s said Pedro is completely obsessed with him? If you feel like bringing John into the mix and have John and Pedro compete over who most gets to have Oscar as their ride or die I would not complain. If that competition involves threesomes and/or railing, I would super super not complain!

Peacemaker: Adrian Chase, Christopher Smith

I watched the show earlier this year and instantly fell in love with it. I love everything about it, from the credits to the team-as-family vibes, to every single one of the characters. I'm only requesting Peacemaker and Vigilante this time, but feel free to bring in the other characters as well! Especially Eagly. :DDDD I love the lighthearted, fun tone of the show and would love something along those lines. BFF ships are some of my favorites and far and away, Peacemaker and Vigilante are my favorite BFF ship, even if Peacemaker doesn't acknowledge that they're BFFs. One of my favorite canon moments for them- and I recognize this is a little fucked up- is the moment when Peacemaker can't shoot the butterfly children and Vigilante steps up and does it for him. In that moment, it's so clear how willing Vigilante is to do anything for him, and it's just as clear that Chris needs him, even if he has difficulty saying so. Some prompts: • This canon lends itself really well to bonkers casefic/mission fic as well as tropey stuff. Maybe they have to save the world by going undercover at a sex club! Or at a couples' cruise! I love fake dating/pretending to be married and I think it'd be hilarious with these two, especially if you include the team's reactions. • For more tropey stuff, they touch an alien artifact and get— sex pollened! bodyswapped! soulbonded! • "Well, how else am I gonna experience motherhood?" He's right and he should say it! I love Vigilante, feel free to knock him up. Mpreg DNW does not apply in this specific prompt. • If you're into media fic, I feel like Peacemaker would make some A++ AITA reddit posts and I would love to read them! Or are there twitter rumors about him on twitter like there are about Aquaman? Is this a Mistaken For A Couple By The Internet situation with Vigilante? • Okay, so I'm curious about their threesomes. /o\ Was Amber Calcaterra the first, or just one in a series of many? How did the two of them seduce Amber? How did this thing even get started? Inquiring minds want to know!

House of the Dragon: Rhaenyra Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen

After GoT and its ending, I nearly didn't give this a shot. But then I did. Goddamn it, HBO, you got me.

I love the characters, I love the drama, and I love my shiny new incest ship. Daemon/Rhaenyra grabbed me from the moment he hung that Valyrian steel necklace on her neck and even if that moment and its small piece of light UST hadn't been enough, the time he snuck her out for a wild night on the town and they ended up nearly banging in a brothel while he whispered to her about a woman's pleasure being just as important as a man's would've cinched it. I love the energy they have from the beginning that they're the only ones who really understand each other, that they're always in on things together, and they're kind of pulling one over on everyone else. I would love really anything with them having a lot of sexual tension and teasing and build-up until it explodes. *___* If you'd like a prompt, here are a few! - I would fucking love an epistolary fic when he's in Pentos and she's in Driftmark and they're both trying to pretend everything is fine and they're not pining for one another a ridiculous amount but also not above trying to make each other jealous by talking about how great their spouses are. - I don't know exactly how you'd make a whole fic out of it, but I loved the moment when Daemon and Rhaenyra were dancing at her rehearsal dinner- their push/pull dynamic on full display, Daemon simultaneously reluctant and intimidated, Rhaenyra openly challenging him, a thin veil of lucky circumstances letting them steal a few secret seconds. More like that, please! - Actually, on that subject of that scene, the crowd closed in so close that we never saw if they kissed or not. Show me which you headcanon and why! - So about that brothel scene. So enticing. So hot. And so abruptly cut off. >:( I really thought when I watched it that Daemon was going to go down on Rhaenyra in the middle of that brothel- possibly with her encouraging him by pushing him to his knees. The show may have denied me, but I'd love to get fic like this! - Rhaenyra pegging Daemon, please? :D? That's it. That's the prompt. - As mentioned above, I don't like noncon, but I love characters who are in this together PRETENDING it's noncon for a hostile audience. Feel free to shove Daemon and Rhaenyra into any situation where Some Bad Guys Make Them Do It- except that, unknown to those bad guys, they're not making them do anything they don't want to do. - I ship Daemon/Rhaenyra primarily, but I am not at all opposed to dipping into their relationships with others and blurring them together. I would love Daemon/Rhaenyra/Laena or Daemon/Rhaenyra/Harwin or, if you're feeling really adventurous, Daemon/Rhaenyra/Laena/Harwin. While I would like it if there was some element of teasing and performance- like Daemon seducing Harwin for Rhaenyra's entertainment- I would REALLY love it if there was still equal interest, i.e Rhaenyra and Laena wanting each other for their own sake.

Cloak and Dagger: Tandy Bowen and Tyrone Johnson I’ll forever be sad this show only got 2 seasons. :( Ty and Tandy are perfect and I love everything about them. I just cannot get enough of the ways they complement and complete each other. I love how they are absolutely 100% ride or die for each other. I love how they spend so much of the first season unable to even touch without blowing shit up but once they get a handle on it, they’re holding hands and exchanging casual touches basically any chance they get. I loved them literally fighting each others personal demons in the finale and the numerous ways they’ll express their love for each other without actually saying the words. The fact that they were finally going to get together and kiss in a prospective season 3 and we missed out on that when they got cancelled that will haunt me. I want to know what they’re up to after the season finale, but I do really love the two seasons we got. Waffles forever! *__* Prompts: • When we last see them, Ty and Tandy are on the bus, hitting the road. What’s their next move? • They powerswapped at least once in the comics. What does that look like for Ty and Tandy in the show? Darkforce daggers? What does Ty’s cloak do now? • Casefic/missionfic! • I really like the worldbuilding they did with the Divine Pairing and the Loa. If you’re interested in exploring the metaphysical trippiness of Ty and Tandy exploring more of the Dark Dimension I would love that! • The love confession and the kisses we never got to see! • I love Evita and her journey too, so if you want to include her go right ahead! • The S2 episode where Tandy experienced multiple different first meetings with Ty really fed my love of canon divergence AUs. I’d love more like that, where the details might change, but their bond is inevitable. • I love time loops, hurt/comfort, road trips, bedsharing, and mutual pining!

#yuletide

[thedeviljudges]

For today’s ‘i really, really love kang yohan’ post, we’re gonna be develing into a little bit of emotional intelligence and the fact that Yohan both possesses it while simultaneously doesn’t, lmao.

Yohan is portrayed as a hunter and a shark. He’s said this himself in his own words. He’s read up on dynamics of humans and instincts and basis himself off of a monster for a couple of different reasons, but the main one being the fact that people believed him to be as such instead of coming down to his level as a child to understand him.

This by far, means Yohan was emotionally neglected (physically too, but that’s, in some ways, addressed in my other meta post) by parental figures in his life except for the nanny, possibly, on occasion, and isaac - but even then, we know it must’ve only been to a certain extent. On top of that, yohan’s only true witness to emotions is through those people in the house, and needless to say, one of them was off the walls abusive.

It’s why we get scenes like the choking one because when Yohan is angry, guess how he’s learned to express that? It’s physical, but it ties in emotionally. Yohan lashes out the only way he knows how, but this is also an indicator that he’s lied about being a monster. Why? Because people with extreme reactions to emotionally charged questions (like your associate judge accusing you of killing your brother, for example) can often mean that it’s more than just a sensitive topic; it actually matters to that person. At this point, gaon does not know isaac’s story, but we later learn yohan’s version of the fire, and it’s slowly revealed through Elijah, specifically, just how much family is a tough topic for Yohan.

And fortunately, gaon sees right through yohan’s bullshit when he calls him out about how he should be a victim, not a monster. Which opens up the door to us understanding why Yohan does what he does and says what he says even more because it’s revealed through that conversation that these are specific words Yohan has heard before. So not only has he been emotionally stunted as a child by way of abuse, he’s had so many people in his life look at him as a callous monster. And when that happens, don’t you start to believe it? Don’t you lose a little bit of your humanity and become the very thing people say you are?

However, this is also yohan’s strength in the world he lives in, especially with the intent to seek revenge for Isaac. He can put his emotions aside and think clearly, even in situations that should rile him up. You can actually see him get… amused when someone tries to put him in a corner. Yohan doesn’t rely on emotions because it’s logic, rational and strategy that gets him every single checkmate. It’s what’s got him to the point he’s at now. It’s how he’s able to push gaon into seeing reason because if you look at things from the perspective of philosophy and science (by way of human nature), it becomes easier to see a path and a plan so very clearly to whatever outcome you’re wanting.

The issue that comes into play circles back around with family. Because Yohan did not grow up in a healthy environment, he doesn’t know what family actually means and what dynamic it should look like. The past several years he’s spent with Elijah, he’s lived it logically because it means keeping her safe without taking into consideration the fact that Elijah is not like himself and did not grow up in the same environment he did. Only, Yohan also has a habit of not telling anyone his plans, and that’s where the miscommunication starts. How is Elijah to know why Yohan keeps her away from the world? It’s revealed she’s been kidnapped twice, but does Elijah truly understand yohan’s perspective? No, she’s a teenager, and gaon was right about it not being fair to keep her locked away.

But I digress. Here you have a man with a plan with repressed emotions and then enter one kim gaon, and he’s asked for trouble. One of the reasons Yohan, I believe, has kept gaon around is because he defies the typical. He challenges Yohan, not in an act of dominance, but out of another way of thinking, and that’s a big difference. Things might go over gaon’s head, and he’s not always right, but he’s looking at all perspectives, even if they’re wrong. Multiple times Yohan has been surprised by gaon’s way of thinking. That’s intriguing and it’s different.

Which lead to situations where gaon’s confronting Yohan about himself, holding up a mirror and asking him if that’s truly who he is or if it’s someone he’s trying to be, if he’s listening to what other people have told him or if he’s actually listening to himself. Which is kind of ironic with Yohan only being able to trust himself, but he can’t even do that, can he? He lies to himself in order not to face what he truly feels. And that’s because it’s filled with pain, and Yohan doesn’t have time for that.

But there is also a reason why a lot of his progress takes place in his house and away from the world because a home is meant for vulnerability and while Yohan and Elijah haven’t had that in a while, Yohan didn’t take into account gaon’s ability to see things differently. Yohan saw gaon’s mind for his plan and for the overarching plot to oust the rich, but what he did not consider is how that would translate into his personal life. Which is hilarious because Yohan is the one that brought gaon into his home in the first place and ultimately ended up with a surprise of a man who’s clearly moved in because Yohan never tells him he has to leave.

So, that’s where things begin to unravel. Gaon tests Yohan’s patience and emotions in ways he hasn’t been tested. Again, gaon’s held up the mirror and asked him to consider looking deeper for the actual truth instead of the façade Yohan lets himself believe is real. Gaon is also one of the only other people in yohan’s life that has actually considered yohan’s feelings and, in turn, elijah’s. gaon is also a man of righteousness and it makes sense that he’s not afraid to share parts of himself if it means it’s doing something good.

We see this particularly with Elijah, telling her about his parents, not reprimanding her over her murder plot, lmao. gaon grew up in an emotionally healthy, and most likely, happy household where he could express himself without feeling like a burden. He has patience and kindness imbedded into his being.

So with that dynamic of being in a home where people are not on display in front of the world, with gaon’s ability to emotionally connect with people, and finding out the looming secrets of the kang household, it becomes rife with opportunity to peel back those layers and expose them for what they are and talk about it and instead of hiding it away in the shadows. Gaon gives them all space to have those emotions, and while he prods and he asks questions, it’s generally in the form of a gentle reminder that other perspectives exists than the ones that are within those four walls. Gaon doesn’t get angry necessarily, and he apologizes when he’s wrong. His straightforwardness and heart-on-his-sleeve demeanor actually works in his favor, albeit a bit misguided at times.

And with all of this, it’s how Yohan slowly begins to open up. Gaon might be accusatory from his distrust of Yohan, but it’s from a place of curiosity and determination to understand, ultimately, rather than a motive of punishment. I think gaon connecting with Elijah is also the icing on the cake and driving motivator that yohan made a good choice in keeping gaon around because Yohan notices the change in his niece and how much happier she is. Gaon’s directly pointed fingers at Yohan and he’s spied on him, but he’s also confronted Yohan about what he’s done head on without taking justice into his own hands. So with those two things combined (helping elijah and wanting understanding), and even yohan’s determination to get gaon on his side, means that level of trust has slowly, but surely, grown into something much more than Yohan ever thought it could be.

Because again, Yohan did not think about the intricacies of living with other people at home and how well you get to know them by merely existing under the same roof. Gaon learns little things about Yohan and doesn’t use them to his advantage or as a slight – maybe in the beginning with the spying, if we want to give him any credit at all for that. Gaon sees a problem and tries to fix it – just like he sees a problem with the world and with corruption and uses the justice system to fix it.

With all of that understanding and poking and prodding, gaon learns how much Yohan cares for Isaac and for Elijah and validates those emotions while still giving Yohan a slap on the wrist for how he’s expressed that care. He learns of yohan’s abuse and confirmed and supported the idea of being a victim and how that’s okay, that Yohan needs to learn to accept it for himself in order to truly heal. He’s berated Yohan for not showing more kindness to Elijah, the only family he has left and just how important that bond is, after discovering what Elijah means to Yohan.

And that’s given Yohan agency with his own emotions. He’s cried over the memory of his father abusing him and wishing he could’ve stopped it. He’s admitted that he hates when gaon looks at him like he’s a monster, and he definitely hates it when gaon makes assumptions and dives in head first without actually thinking things through. But that is also an advantage of Yohan: understanding someone emotionally because it means that Yohan has learned so much about gaon and the way he thinks that when in episode 9 he tells gaon about how he reminds him of Isaac with his assumptions, it comes from a place of discussion rather than anger. He’s realized the way to get through to gaon is through talking and physically showing gaon how he thinks (the prison reveal). Granted, he’s been doing this with gaon since the beginning, but it’s become even more pertinent now.

The thing is, Yohan has recognized gaon’s kindness at this point. He’s witnessed it in his misguided understanding of the justice system. But what’s truly interesting is that Yohan understands gaon’s kindness, but he still doesn’t understand the world’s. Yohan has a very different perspective of what kindness looks like because it’s not actual kindness but motivation and ulterior motives. Kindness to Yohan is power play – it’s people using others by any means necessary to get a leg up. It’s self-serving for their own benefit and not for others.

Which is also how that first seed of trust is planted with gaon – when he saved the little girl and the bus driver. And how more seeds are trusted by way of gaon doing what gaon does best – provoking Yohan with different thoughts, especially when it comes to family.

But this also applies to yohan’s understanding and hypocrisy when it comes to Elijah and kindness. At this point and by episode 9, Yohan has accepted gaon’s kindness. He’s let it in, lets Elijah indulge in it because he’s noticed that their home is happier – by way of making gaon come back because Elijah missed him. Yohan believes Elijah naïve for trusting others who show her any ounce of kindness, but the thing is, Yohan has come to trust gaon. He’s witnessed the kindness and the understanding, and yet it’s much easier to continue believing that it’s actually a cruel and ugly thing, especially in the wake of Elijah getting hurt, and that’s his default method of coping. Kindness got Elijah hurt and in trouble. It’s what makes you weak.

And if there is one thing we know about Yohan is that he’s anything but weak, but it’s another lie. Kindness did not get Yohan anywhere in life. Kindness got his brother murdered and his family taken away from him.

But the saving grace from that way of thinking? Gaon, yet again, telling Yohan why he’s wrong. Gaon tells Yohan every human needs someone to rely on as long as they’re human, and I think that was certainly a pain point of remembrance in how Yohan had no one but Isaac and then no one after. only this time, a point is made by way of Elijah because she only has Yohan now and she, unlike what Yohan convinces himself he doesn’t need, actually wants to experience human nature – that innate thing kang Yohan has so desperately read about and studied without taking into consideration that the carnal desires of humanity don’t always outweigh the good found within.

And isn’t that just a little bit ironic how someone so capable of understanding the human psyche cannot simply recognize kindness when it’s so freely given? If he weren’t the skeptic and the hypocrite, maybe he’d see what’s right before his eyes, and maybe he’d see just how far he’s come in allowing someone to see parts of himself he’d always been led to believe didn’t matter.

Kang Yohan is a complex character, but he has so much room for growth, and it’s exciting witnessing that in baby steps – and that’s all because he couldn’t tell his doe-eyed associate judge no. sucks for Yohan, I guess; getting himself into a mess he cannot get himself out of, an issue of his own doing and one we very clearly have seen he doesn’t want to rectify, lmao.

also one more thing..... that dinner scene in ep 9 is also a true testament of what can be done with just a little provocation because there you have yohan realizeing what a happy home can look like if he just tries to be more vulnerable and that it actually, in fact, does matter.

#x #* #kang yohan #the devil judge #look who write 2.3k about yohan bc im a dumbass and just spit out thoughts #this is not in order at all this is me rambling like the dumb b that i am #god i love yohan so much wow i hope this makes sense bc yikes #this is what happens when u have a lot of thoughts and there's so many components s #even after all this i know ive missed some but lmaooo here is this #does any of this make sense i hope it makes sense bc i dont feel like it's fleshed out how i wanted it #nor is it in order but uh yeah food for thought yall!!!!!!!!

[tenthgrove]

Yandere La Squadra- Formaggio, Melone, and Ghiaccio

Warning: It goes without saying that these headcanons are darker than my usual stuff, so if you are uncomfortable with ideas such as abduction and forced relationships, beware I go into them here. Extreme violent abuse and non-con (beyond low-level touching) are not present, however, since I don’t write for these themes.

Formaggio

Formaggio falls for someone he meets by chance, most likely somewhere like a bar, bowling alley or cinema. Regardless, after a couple of random encounters in which he gets to briefly chat with you, Formaggio starts to seek you out on purpose. It isn’t long before he starts to develop a crush.

However, despite Formaggio’s attempts to come off as friendly you soon start to take him for a creep. You begin to consciously avoid him, going as far as to stop going to the places he tends to find you.

After a brief period of feeling spurned, Formaggio comes to realise that his initial hopes for a normal relationship were never very viable anyway. Say you’d accepted his early advances and gone on a few dates? How long until you start to question his friends and work life? No, the only way this is going to work is if he takes the more drastic route and abducts you.

Formaggio gets your living details with the help of those in the squad more suited to that kind of task. He doesn’t tell them why he needs to know all this. After a short period of stalking you in his car to memorise your routine, he forms his plan. He knows convincing you to come with him will be hard, but he doesn’t want to hurt you either. It seems he’ll have to rely on trickery to make you follow him blind.

Late one evening while you’re home alone, Formaggio sets fire to your neighbour’s house. As you run out the front door, panicked and confused, you don’t question the friendly voice promising to drive you to safety. You climb right into Formaggio’s car. By the time it dawns on you what’s really going on a few minutes later, it’s already far too late.

Formaggio eventually wants to have as close to a normal relationship with you as possible, but until you can be trusted not to run from him you’re going to be (loosely) chained to his bed. Look, he fixed his TV and even *cleaned up* for you! Would a shitty boyfriend do all that?

Tries to bribe you into forgiving him with food. Even if you give him the silent treatment, he’ll plonk himself down next to you and throw an arm around your shoulder, occasionally stuffing snacks into your mouth to feel like he’s treating you.

If you misbehave lightly, he’ll make a show of not being bothered by it, thinking his forgiveness will convince you he’s not that bad after all. However, if you’re really uncompliant, Formaggio will shrink you down until you apologise, always showering you with affection once you’ve swallowed your pride and told him what he wants to hear.

Secretly, Formaggio is excited by the possibility of you trying to escape and having to be dragged back. Once or twice, he might ‘accidentally’ leave the key to your chain on the nightstand, letting you have a few blissful hours of freedom before he takes you back. He’ll only punish you lightly, however, since he did set you up for this after all.

All-in-all, Formaggio can’t wait for the day you return his affections, and will woo you over in whatever corny ways he can think of.

 Melone

Melone is the sort of yandere to make the conscious decision to seek out a darling before he even has anyone in mind. With all his eccentric beliefs in astronomy and other personality pseudosciences, it’s only natural Melone would believe his special someone is out there just waiting for him to find them.

After having investigated several dozen candidates who he for one reason or another rejected, he finally lays eyes on you while stalking someone you know. It’s love at first sight, and as he lays in bed at night perusing all your social media profiles, he can’t find a single thing that doesn’t compound his earlier suspicions. He’s finally found you. His soulmate.

You are granted a few blessed final weeks of normalcy before Melone acts. This time is used to set up the room that will accommodate you. It is furnished with a lavish double bed, a large collection of clothes (Melone insists that regularly changing your clothes, even if you aren’t moving around much, will provide a sense of routine that will help with your mental health), a safe filled with various medicines to mediate your mood, and several forms of restraints that are various extents of restrictive, to be switched between depending on your behaviour.

What the room doesn’t have are windows- they’ve been completely bricked up. Your room is also padded wall to wall with sound-absorbent foam. Nothing from the outside world comes in, nothing goes out. Until you love him, your entire life will consist of Melone and this room.

When the time comes to take you, Melone will break into your house and drug you in your sleep, so that you’re completely unaware of what’s happening until you’re safely in your new home. He will sit at your bedside non-stop until you wake up, adamant to be the first thing you see when your new life begins.

The first few months of living with Melone are essentially a covert form of behavioural training. When you are nice to your new boyfriend, your life gets better. When you shun him, you stay at the current level of restrictions on your freedom. It is simple psychology that this will inevitably lead you to accept him more.

If, say, you were to misbehave extremely, such as by consistently trying to run away or physically attack him, then the ultimate punishment would be forcing you to create a junior that then becomes your guard. Although Melone will take every precaution to make sure no harm comes to you from your new child, he knows you will not enjoy the process, or the presence of the freakish being that calls you its parent.

Eventually, once you have a consistent track record of many months of good behaviour, Melone intends to let you live practically as freely as you did when you met him, even letting you leave the house regularly for hours at a time without supervision. However, even when you have no use for the room he initially kept you in and are no longer forced to be there, he won’t get rid of it. He enjoys looking back on those tender first months of having you. You won’t ever make him put you back there, will you?

  Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio holds his affections close to his heart, and for that reason, he will most likely fall in love with a childhood friend, or someone else he has a prior fondness for. Perhaps after a number of years out of contact, you suddenly move into his vicinity without knowing it. Ghiaccio sees you through the window of a café and is instantly struck with all the feelings he repressed from his youth.

In the coming weeks, Ghiaccio is filled with an intense paranoia. He wants to have you, to at very least be able to let you know he’s there, but he’s terrified of you getting hurt. Wait, do his enemies already know about you? That aside, will someone as weak as you *ever* be safe in a city like this? Ghiaccio knows he would never forgive himself if anything happened to you. That means he can’t sit still until he makes sure he does something about it.

Even still, your abduction is an impulse. That’s not to say he didn’t consider the idea before, even going as far as to make some casual preparations like getting new locks for the front door and spare room. However, he never had a concrete plan. All that convinced him to take you was a sleepless night. After several hours of tossing and turning, head filled with terrified thoughts of something bad happening to you, he decided he needed you *now*.

Ghiaccio doesn’t have much of a plan, but being so much stronger than you he doesn’t really need one. He bursts through the door of your house and drags you to his car, frantic explanations of what’s going on doing little to calm your terror. Freezing over your lips and wrists with ice, he puts you in the trunk and drives you home.

Ghiaccio tries his best to be patient and accommodating with you. He lets your room be your private space and doesn’t force physical contact on you, though he’ll occasionally plead with you to let him hold you when he’s feeling stressed. He dreams of the day you’ll stop being scared of him and he can have you whenever he wants.

Spends a lot of time trying to justify his actions. But even if you run away, he can’t bring himself to hurt you. Instead, he’ll bind you to a chair in his basement and rant for what feels like hours about how this is all for your own good, and you just don’t see that. He ends up practically begging for you to just stay with him without a fight.

The process of wooing you over is a lot of trial and error, inviting you to do activities with him he recalls you liking and encouraging you to be emotionally open with him. Eventually, through the sheer force of time, his efforts become successful and you start to reciprocate his affections.

However, given Ghiaccio’s paranoia it’s unlikely you’ll ever be able to go anywhere further than the corner shop without his supervision. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he’s just terrified of something happening to you. That said, he feels bad about restricting your freedom and will work hard to give you a good life.

#la squadra #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #yandere cw

[mutable-star-child]

Astro notes from my personal birth chart ♊️ 🌞 ♋️ 🌝 Gemini asc ♊️

🌻 Having personal planets spread out in 5 different signs can make for a bit of an identity crisis hahah I have sooo many different interests and people find me to be one confusing ass person , it’s taken me years to find this as a blessing in disguise as I can relate to these 5 signs and with a wide variety of people quite easily.

🌻My Mars in Pisces ♓️ in the 11th house does in fact make me stick up for the underdog , i am not attracted to feet at all , and when I am in a sexual relationship I prefer to be friends with my lover. The detachedness from the 11th house with the watery energy in my Mars is a fucking contridiction . I find myself needing emotional intimacy with a partner but then when I’m in the act I can be in another world , I usually get pulled back with kissing 😽

🌻my Venus in Aries ♈️ in the 12th house is another paradox. I’m definitely more toned down than other Venus in Aries placements. I love the chase , but then one day you may get a shy side of me . It’s this hot and cold kind of energy which probably confuses the shit out of people , but at the end of the day I go by how I feel . Once in a committed relationship I’m IN IT , I have zero desire for anyone else . I think of this placement and energy as in this lifetime I’m to learn SELF LOVE ❤️ Aries Venus are astrologically sometimes perceived as selfish and the 12th house Venus needs to learn to give themselves the love they’re constantly over giving to others .

🌻 My mercury in Taurus ♉️ in the 12th house is my chart ruler and the ruler of my sun . For a Gemini I find myself to be quite reserved and I give credit to this baby , I know when to keep my mouth shut . Upon meeting new people or starting a new job , I sit back , and I watch , and I feel things out. It takes me a little bit to read the energies of the people around me to really open up and be my goofy self. I like to read things slowly and methodically, it takes time but once it’s learned , it’s in there for good. I get compliments on my voice allll the time and man do I love expensive journals and pens hahah nothing but the best.

🌻 Gemini ♊️ sun , conjunct the ascendant from the 12th house . When I was younger , I was extremely shy and didn’t know why people would look at me or stare at me and it made me feel self conscious as fuck . Ta da ! I feel this placement makes me confusing because well ... Gemini are the twins 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️and it’s conjunct my Gemini ascendant. I feel like a Gemini , then I also feel like a Leo rising and have a lot of Leo rising traits , but my sun feels like a Pisces some days too and I have the traits of a 12th house sun , buttt on other days I feel like a first house sun and carry a lot of 1st house sun traits 🤷🏻‍♀️

🌻 My biological father is a Pisces sun (12th house) and my mother is a 1st house sun , I therefore carry both of their energies in this 1 placement .

🌻 my step dad is a Pisces Venus and my mother is a 1st house Venus , I’m a Aries Venus in the 12th house I carry both of their energies in this placement as well.

🌻Gemini sun with a cancer moon makes for one very emotional Gemini lol , it’s funny tho because when I was younger I didn’t know people thought that I was cold and detached , but deep down my ass felt everything . It took me awhile to learn to work with these two energies.

🌻Gemini rising with an Aquarius mid heaven , people think I’m cool and aloof if they don’t know me , but once they talk to me they’re always so surprised at how “bubbly” I am .

�� Cancer moon conjunct Jupiter in Cancer . When I’m happy it expands out to everyone and everything ... but just how everything in this life is dualistic , if my moon square Mars ( Pisces / repressed anger) gets triggered ... watch the fuck out . When I was younger I wouldn’t even know I was mad until one day I would just explode and that’s how it felt , like an explosion of angry emotions that wouldn’t stop until everything was out . I’ve been working my ass off with working with my emotions. Just because you have certain placements or energies or aspects doesn’t mean you can’t learn to deal with them in a healthy manner.

🌻I’ve noticed that I have a lot of air moon friends , I find that I learn from them and question how they deal with their emotions , I find them fascinating that they can detach and analyze them or mind map them . I teach them how to feel the emotion and they teach me how to not get so damn lost in my emotions .

🌻 Moon in the 2nd house ; classic eats to emotionally feel better , another thing I’ve been working on . Instead of going for chocolate let’s dig around and see why we feel like this and not try to bandaid it .

🌻Jupiter conjunct Chiron , I’m half Caucasian and half aboriginal . I didn’t get to grow up with my aboriginal side of the family and on my Caucasian side I’m the only one who’s of a different ethnicity . I felt between worlds in a way growing up , I never knew where I fit in and never felt like I could fit in anywhere . It was this walking in the middle feeling .

🌻Pluto in Scorpio conjunct Black Moon Lilith in the 6th house . I remember being a kid and like some parents hating me .. for no reason . I also remember adults sexualizing me before I even knew what it was or was having sex . This aspect opposite my mercury in Taurus in the 12th house makes me extremely into psychology and esoteric studies . I find dating to be difficult at times because I can read douche bags like an open book . Hahah Lilith and Pluto in the 6th Opposite my mercury I find myself in a lot of sexual innuendos 🙄 . People sexualize me at everyday boring things , work , running errands , the *gym . When I was young and didn’t know how to deal with my emotional state this combo was deadly , depression, anxiety , suicidal thoughts . The Plutonian energies were so intense .

🌻 Uranus retrograde in the 8th house . Ummm yeah I know I’m weird , but have no fucking clue why lol 😂. This placement makes you painfully aware of being differen, on a plus it also makes you your own therapist. I went from drug party girl running away from her traumas to power engineer , owning her own house and doesn’t smoke , drink , or do drugs . Another psychology lovers placement and astrology lover 🥰. Also weird shit happens around me . Lights go on or off , things move . Alarm systems at work don’t go off when I enter the building. I also have Neptune retrograde on my 8/9th house cusp when have seen spirits and heard them . I would be lying if I said I didn’t love weird shit .

🌻Uranus in the 8th , I have been around death since I was about 8 years old having attended my first funeral service . I have had traumatic experiences with the passing of people close to me and I have known so many people who have passed away . I’m 30 and have had about 10 people I’ve known pass away . It’s something that I’ve always known . It’s a hard part about life but each time I go through a deep soul transformation where I question life and death and transcend something .

🌻Uranus in the 8th .. did someone say bdsm ?

🌻Neptune in the 8th , blurring of boundaries when i was younger. Like I legit didn’t even know what fucking boundaries were . Again something I’ve worked on and I’m happy to say , my boundaries are firm as fuckk .

🌻mercury (12th) trine Neptune and Uranus(8th) . Umm yes I do receive messages from spirit . It comes so naturally to me that I forget others don’t share this gift or have to work hard . I can go into a deep meditation easily and hypnotherapy . I also have vivid dreams and lucid dream . I am working on my dreams and astral projection.

🌻Saturn retrograde , yup bio daddy was not around and I am now reparenting myself as an adult 😁.

🌻Saturn in the 9th conjunct the Mc , I take this placement as the other reason why people think I’m cold before knowing me haha . I’ve wanted to travel for soo long , wanting to back pack and just go and be free but have not managed to yet , I always feel like I have something to do here or something comes up , I’ve just let go now and realize I’ll travel when the time is right and Saturn permits it hahah.

🌻 Saturn in the 9th , when I was younger religion made me feel uncomfortable af , I remember going to church and wondering why god was a man and why there wasn’t a girl god , and I also couldn’t understand why he was white ... it made no sense to me . Then where was my native god ? Why wouldn’t he just make everyone the same then ? Jupiter conjunct Chiron in the 3rd 😁 as I got older and traumatic death experiences happened , I then became a full blown atheist and pushed away the spirits I had seen from my mind and went on to party 🤘🏼👍🏼 ... until I had a transcendental spiritual awakening in 2017 . Which now I believe in consciousness and energy. Ahhh life

🌻 Aquarius north node conjunct asteroid Lilith conjunct the MC , people have scapegoated my ass since I had became a teenager haha. I had a very big issue with authority figures when I was younger whether it was with teachers , my parents , bosses, cops , you name it . I would rebel just to rebel . I’ve toned my shit down and have accepted that I’m quirky and different and a bit of a loner , I love it that way to be honest . I find that older men loveee me or hate me . Or both . Hahah I’m a very independent woman and do NOT like to rely on men for anything in my relationships. This placement makes me fucking determined to achieve my goals . It’s also the big fuck you placement to anyone that’s ever wronged me or told me I couldn’t do something . It gives me fuel and a will that I’m going to die trying before I ever fail . People laughed at me when I told them i was wanting to become a power engineer and well when I thought I was going to fail I just brought up their snickers comments and here I am today a power engineer 😈😉

🌻Lilith conjunct the MC , ahhh yes , I’m known for my looks and physique but jackpot to the rare ones that compliment my brains 🧠 🤓

🌻Lilith conjunct the MC, women feel threatened by just looking at me , which means I work really hard to bring a calming warm energy , I’m not fake but I do compliment women and pull them up and support them when I can . I have zero desire for drama or to take other women’s men .

🌻asteroid Lilith trine ascendant and sun , yeah I always wondered why people thought I was hitting on them when I wasn’t even interested lol but add a friendly bubbly Gemini ascendant with this aspect and you give off sexy vibes with out even noticing it . Fucking annoying to be honest hahah

🌻 IC in Leo , sun conjunct ascendant ... people say I wear my heart on my sleeve and what you see is what you get hahah

🌻IC in Leo , I shine when I’m with my family I feel the most comfortable around them and I love when they compliment me lol more than like anyone else .

🌻 If you were wondering why my chart seemed off I have 4 signs intercepted : Taurus / scorpio , Virgo / Pisces . My mercury , Mars , Pluto are all intercepted and my 12/6th houses are MASSIVE lol and my 11/5th are as well . Itty bitty 2/8th , 3/9th houses .

Let me know if you have any of these placements and can resonate 🥰

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #birth chart

[platypuskenny]

Can I get more f that Kenny’s physiology with his alter egos? I’m rlly interested in that

(assuming this means psychology, as a follow up to this post)

i’ve put it off cuz i’ve been busy with other stuff but i‘m really glad i got this ask cuz i love kenny and I love thinking about them in the context of their two alter egos!

CW: discussion of child abuse and neglect, including inexplicit discussion of child sexuality. also a lot of discussion of The Whole Kenny Death Thing. also spoilers for the stick of truth if you haven’t played it!

kenny’s been treated a lot more seriously in recent seasons, with a shift in character to be a lot more mature as well, and it’s a development that makes a lot of sense in the context of “the characters have undergone A Lot and it’s really shaped their personalities because they’re at a stage when their brain is still very soft and malleable and susceptible to trauma.”

the addition of karen in “the poor kid” seems to have shaken up the depiction of the mccormicks a lot. in earlier seasons, kenny was more passive about his home situation, or at least went out of his way to ignore them, (like in “best friends forever” when he plays on his PSP and leaves the house while his parents fight). there are early scenes where he does have some responsibility to his family (i.e. trying to win a can of food for them in “starvin marvin”) but usually he’s just depicted as a kid trying to live through a tough situation. though his “willing to do anything for money even if it’s deeply upsetting, depraved, or outright deadly” character trait from “fat camp” kind of tracks with this understanding that he prioritizes financial security over his personal well-being. 

however, ever since karen was added to the show, kenny’s been depicted as a much more responsible and often even tragic figure. his parents are too caught up in their own shit to address their children’s emotional needs, and kevin sadly gets caught up in their violence as well in “the poor kid” (he’s also vaguely implied to be developmentally disabled in the few scenes he speaks up but that’s mostly speculation). because of this, kenny ends up being karen’s main caretaker - holding her close when she’s distressed at losing her parents, buying her a doll, etc. 

kenny’s situation is a textbook example of parentification. he ends up taking care of karen, at least emotionally, because his parents and brother are unable to do so. he also becomes the breadwinner in “the city part of town” as soon as he gets the chance. this is a really unhealthy scenario that a lot of children in poverty, especially older siblings, see themselves in. it can result in the child not knowing their true place in a family that takes them for granted, and thus not considering their own needs and/or feeling shame if they need help because they’re so used to putting everybody before them. i think this tracks with kenny being “the quiet one” and rarely asking for anything. 

that’s not even getting into the constant death and the fact he spent so much of his life not even understanding why he was doomed to constantly die in horrible painful ways, and for nobody else to remember that he even died to begin with. (kind of symbolic of the neglected child, huh?) 

this brings us to mysterion and princess kenny. in both the superhero game and the fantasy game, you’ll notice kenny is the one who tends to get the most involved, with the only exception being possibly cartman, who could be the topic of a whole other essay on identity issues. mysterion is the one superhero with a real power who exists outside of their superhero game (besides the kewn, whose superhero persona is entirely self-motivated anyway), and princess kenny gets so defensive of her identity that she betrays her friends in both the trilogy and the game. kenny also talks about lady mccormick in the third person in the first black friday episode, and i don’t know if any other characters speak about their personas in that way. so kenny intentionally places more distance between his personas and himself than the other kids do with their personas. 

therefore, i see mysterion and princess kenny as how kenny copes with his deeply repressed psychological issues. it’s a way to compartmentalize his feelings towards his constant suffering and the burden his family inadvertently placed on him by developing these two identities. one embraces his role as caretaker to the degree of becoming a superhero, and the other rejects it in favor of being entirely doted upon. (some people have read the prominence of roles as signs of a dissociative disorder, and i can see that with this context, but i don’t know if it’s really a perfect fit for any specific disorder, especially when there’s little information on kenny’s consciousness when it comes to these personas.)

mysterion is more obviously a tool for kenny to express his discontent with his town. in his first appearance, he states, “i could no longer sit by and watch as my city became a cesspool of crime,” which tracks with his earlier characterization as reluctantly accepting his family’s poverty despite constantly suffering. (plus i’m pretty sure several of kenny’s deaths were the result of crimes.) he refuses to be unmasked because he “would stop being a symbol,” and only does so in order to quell the unrest that his mystery has provoked. that "symbol" wording suggests that mysterion is an extreme version of kenny's self-sacrificing lifestyle to the point where he defines himself as a symbol of justice and hope, not a person. kenny himself is also pretty quiet and secretive, but more because nobody cares about him and he’s kind of afraid of getting killed any second. mysterion’s secret persona is something bold, powerful, and masculine. he is physically adept in a way we don’t see kenny behave, and much more reasonable and cautious about what’s best for him and humanity. (a good visual of this to contrast with kenny is the “mysterion re-rising” animation in the fractured but whole, where he consciously rejects the chance to go to the heaven full of naked women that kenny loves because he has to return to battle.)

mysterion is also a way for kenny to reclaim his "curse” and use it for good. as mysterion, he uses death (albeit reluctantly) to get out of tough situations and save his friends. in video games like fractured but whole and phone destroyer, mysterion’s ability to exist as a ghost and revive himself is a gameplay mechanic. this self-sacrificial personality trait has shown up in earlier seasons, and he kills himself for the good of the community/world/etc in “cartman’s mom is still a dirty slut,” the movie, and “jewbilee.” but he’s not nearly as interested in world issues unless he’s under pressure to care. (for example: he does join the workers’ strike in “bike parade,” but he’s not very passionate about it and doesn’t even care about the issue until his dad takes him to a union meeting.) kenny’s good with solving short-term issues while mysterion worries about the deeper, long-term problems with the town. 

this brings us to mysterion and the mccormicks. when we see mysterion’s interactions with karen, we see how mysterion represents kenny’s responsibilities towards her. mysterion is able to offer karen elaborate, heartfelt emotional support, and guarantee that he’ll always be there for her. he also beats up a girl who bullies her and threatens anybody else who thinks about hurting her - more on that aggressive instinct down below. while mysterion’s identity is known to his friends and the rest of the town, it’s not known to karen, who sees him as a guardian angel. presumably, this is so mysterion can remain a symbol of hope to her, just like he is to the town, and so karen feels like there’s people in the world who care about her besides her brother. however, this does backfire in the fractured but whole DLC where she laments how her brother doesn’t seem to spend time with her, which embarrasses mysterion as he promises to tell him to be there for her more often. this implies that kenny gets so wrapped up in being mysterion that he forgets that he has a duty to karen as kenny as well, further indicating that mysterion is a way to cope with the tragic responsibility of caring for a sibling not much younger than he is.

during the superhero trilogy, kenny also uses mysterion to question his parents about their cult meetings, something that shook him so badly when he learned about it that he broke character. mysterion also told his parents to be nicer to the kids, not beat each other up, pay their kids allowances, and not smoke. it seems that mysterion is able to approach kenny’s parents about serious issues while kenny himself mostly stays out of their business - possibly out of fear? (kenny’s more confrontational in later seasons, though - flipping off his dad in “bike parade,” for example.)

on a similar note, mysterion is way more openly angry and violent than kenny is, especially when it comes to the death curse, which he openly complains about in a way kenny himself never did. compare kenny complaining about stan ignoring his deaths in “cherokee hair tampons,” which only gets further ignored, and mysterion complaining about it in graphic detail in “coon vs coon and friends,” even killing himself in front of his friends, and understandably scaring the shit out of them. mysterion also gets really protective of karen, violently so, as seen with the girl he beats up in “the poor kid” and his distrust when the vampires befriend her in the “from dusk til casa bonita” DLC. such a mysterion is way more passionate and loud about justice and direct action while kenny is more resigned, and most of his good deeds are unknown to the public. if kenny has embraced this caretaker role, it makes sense that he vents his repressed anger through mysterion, especially if you take it in the context of dissociation - kenny can’t handle dwelling on his shitty life all the time, so mysterion holds that anger and finds a way to cope with it by trying to fix everything around them, including kenny’s home life. 

princess kenny is very opposite mysterion in many ways. most obviously, she’s a girl. kenny’s relationship with gender is something i think about a lot in light of PK. “tweek vs craig” depicted him as the only boy in home ec, and he was thrilled because it was the safe alternative to the deadly shop class. i think that, regardless of your headcanon for kenny’s gender (i personally see them as feminine nonbinary - i’m mostly using “he” pronouns in this essay strictly for recognition’s sake and because i’m mostly talking about the show’s depiction of kenny), he sees femininity as safe and comforting, but nevertheless very powerful. (remember that his mother, while not super feminine, is a very outspoken and aggressive woman who calls stuart out on his shit constantly.) and what’s a better combination of femininity and power than a magical girl? 

also one thing i want to note real quick is that karen still refers to kenny as her sister in the stick of truth despite not being super involved in their game which i personally choose to read as Trans Rights Subtext

this is how we get lady mccormick / princess kenny, who is largely a passive character during the black friday trilogy, sitting upon her throne and cutely commenting on the surroundings while stan translates for her. then when sony takes her in, she becomes the star of her own show, a magical japanese princess who doesn’t take shit from cartman or his army and gets whatever she wants because she’s a cute little girl and now she gets to be protected and doted upon! also she speaks japanese and is not muffled in the slightest despite wearing her parka....symbolism? and really interestingly is that when she supposedly dies, she brushes herself off and immediately revives, declaring that she’s okay. in kenny’s feminine fantasy, she doesn’t suffer when she dies, and revives without any mess at all. princess kenny is always gonna be okay!

PK is also very flirty and overly sexual. it’s no secret that kenny is very interested in and knowledgeable of sex. he also absolutely worships women’s bodies, as seen with his views of heaven and that whole plot of “major boobage.” i don’t even read this as lust, because he’s ten, but sheer fascination with sex. maybe it plays into that whole “growing up too fast” concept where he tries to indulge in the “fun” parts of adulthood to make up for the exhaustion of caregiving, but this has been a thing since before kenny was depicted as a real caregiver so IDK. 

anyway, i think PK is also a way for kenny to experiment with flirting and sex, particularly with other boys. she uses her coyness and, in the games, her bare chest to entice boys. her cuteness also attracts grown men in “titties and dragons” which goes largely unremarked upon, which is a bit uncomfortable but still works with the idea that she’s the most “lovable” form of kenny. she also apparently thinks the new kid is “cute.” iit’s really funny to me how kenny is depicted as interested in strictly girls while princess kenny only focuses on boys, which could support the idea that PK is a separate entity from kenny, or that kenny just needs to figure himself out. either way, i imagine kenny finds some thrill in getting men to pay attention to them when their male friends often treat her as superfluous, and even then it often involves objectifying herself (this also tracks with their behavior in “fat camp”). it’s kind of sad if you think about it.

in the climax of the stick of truth, princess kenny has her own in-depth backstory, where she was an orc/elf rejected by both the elves and humans. i think this reflects kenny’s feeling of being “othered” as non-human (since this game chronologically comes after the superhero trilogy) and just generally not feeling welcome among their friends unless they need her. there may also be some parallels between her friends denying her the right to be a princess and kenny’s friends refusing to believe in his immortality. when she rebels against her friends choosing the stick over friendship, it’s another way for kenny to cope with their mixed-to-negative feelings about their friends. so while PK is a figure to be doted on, she’s still probably more gutsy than the kenny we usually know. 

however, PK is not entirely selfish or apathetic about the world around her. in the opening of “a song of ass and fire,” her inner monologue explains her choice to deflect to the PS4 side as the side she believes “is best for all.” she also laments that everybody, including her parents, will be fighting on black friday. it seems that PK dreads the mere idea of war, which contradicts mysterion’s tendency to use violence as a means to protect others. PK still uses her adorableness to help her team, and only asks that they accept her, which really isn’t much. it’s just when she, you know, becomes a nazi zombie and puts the world in danger because she’s so pissed about not being accepted for who she is. 

in my original post, i used the freudian personality theory to explain these three personas, which i regret because i fucking hate freud and he’s heavily responsible for modern consumerism and planned obsolescence. but the basic concepts of the id, ego, and superego do kind of illustrate what i’m getting at with these guys. i assigned princess kenny as the id, because she’s more about self-gratification and getting what she thinks she deserves as well as a tendency towards sexual gratification, and mysterion as the superego (hehe get it super) because of his strong inclination towards morality. however, this isn’t that black-and-white, as princess kenny has some moral considerations and mysterion has violent impulses (the “aggressive instinct”) that are more easily attributed to the id. nevertheless, it seems that kenny is still the balance between these exaggerated personas, and when he expresses attitudes similar to theirs, they are far more downplayed due to the necessities of his situation as a caretaker and an underappreciated friend. kind of makes you wonder if/how the attitudes of mysterion and princess kenny will manifest in him when he’s older.

#kenny mccormick #princess kenny #mysterion #south park #LONG POST #kenny #answers #my-nostalgia-is-horror #analysis

[mirrinbelde-shitposts]

Hiii!! Can you please tell me more about my big 3?

Libra Sun in 9th house

Virgo Moon in 8th house

Capricorn Rising

I also have a libra stellium (sun, mercury, mars, jupiter)

Thank you! Hope you have a nice day 🤍

Hey! I wish you a very nice day too! Here you go ^^ 

  Capricorn Rising

You may appear a little cold and reserved at first; Capricorn is a sign known for keeping their cards close to their chest. A calm sort of presence; could be intimidating for some people. You could have resting bitch face, which would make you unapproachable. You may have an interesting bone structure, which makes you stand out. A harsher kind of beauty. You command everyone’s respect without having to do anything. 

  Libra Sun 9H

Libra is all about socializing and artistic sense. I’d say you’re quite sociable and very liked by everyone. You have a harmonious energy and want to be around people (and they want to be around you!). The 9H, which is the house of Sagittarius, further adds to this idea. Libra can be quite superficial, so the Jupiter influence may make you more philosophical and give you a “bigger picture” mindset. It also lends you that fiery optimism which is so characteristic of Sagittarius. I just think you’re so magnetic and attract people, almost like moths to a flame. The Venusian and Jupiterian energy would also make you quite artistic; you probably have good taste in just about everything. 

  Virgo Moon 8H

You are probably not good at voicing your emotions. This does not at all mean that you can’t feel; you can, and you probably do so deeply; but expressing emotions is probably a weakness of yours. You may put too much pressure in yourself; if you fail, you may feel like you’re undeserving of love and affection. You should understand that noone is perfect, not even you, and accept that failure is a part of life. Also, what you feel is natural; do not attempt to repress those emotions of yours. With the Moon placed in the 8th house, you may feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level; however, Virgo does not make that task an easy one. If, however, you can overcome your trouble with emotions, your partner may find in you a deeply loyal SO. You may be fascinated by the inner wokings of the mind and everything to do with death, taboo topics and the spiritual world.

  Bottom Line

Your Ascendant can make it a little difficult for people to approach you. Your expression and the way you commdand respect could be intimidating for some people. However, once that wall goes down, people will see how nice, sociable and artsy you are. Deep down, though, you seek to connect emotionally with someone, which may be tough, given your problems with emotions. ⬛

#astrology #astro notes #astrology notes #astro observations #astrology observations #big 3 #ask #my stuff

[hellsbellschime]

I was wondering if you could do an analysis on Sansas and Daenerys interactions in 8x02?

Totes, because I think it’s an extremely interesting character interplay that needed more development and that was either actually rife with subtext and just written really poorly or it was just dumb. But while I wish there had been more development for literally everything in season 8, I think that the dynamic between Dany and Sansa needed far more room to breathe and grow given that their incredibly brief relationship is one of the main catalysts for the climax of the story. 

Jaime’s whole “trial” scene is one that I really wish we had been able to see the lead up to, because while the drama of starting off the episode with it is certainly compelling, I’d honestly really like to know how everyone even got to that point in the first place. Like, Dany is furious that Cersei has betrayed her and lied to her about her intentions... except how exactly does that square up to someone who came to a truce with their enemy and then immediately arrests them and puts them on trial when they actually follow through on their end of the bargain?

However, looking beyond that there is not just Dany vs. Sansa, it’s kind of Dany vs. Team Stark. Dany lays out all of the reasons why Jaime deserves to be punished and Sansa actually completely agrees with her and says she completely understands how she feels, but then Brienne speaks in Jaime’s defense and Sansa immediately agrees that Jaime should stay. Now as viewers we understand what Sansa is doing here, but I think that Dany does not. I think that this may be a sort of crucial moment for what happens later, because someone who is unfamiliar with Sansa but sees that she is popular among the Northerners might come to the easiest conclusion, which is that Sansa is easily manipulated, weak willed, or likes to agree with people and thus everyone kind of likes her even though she’s the type of person who shouldn’t really be seen as important or authoritative. 

But when Dany kind of ropes Jon into it I think it’s even more interesting, and once again could be an implication that she doesn’t understand people who put the interests of others before themselves. Because way back when Melisandre told Dany to invite Jon to Dragonstone, Tyrion tries to sell her on it by explaining that the Lannisters have treated the Starks even worse than they theoretically treated her, so they have even more reason to want to see their downfall. So I think she inquires about Jon’s thoughts expecting her to agree with him, because quite frankly it’s just not in her wheel house to put the needs of others before her own. But he winds up agreeing to let him stay, and she feels peer pressured into acquiescing when she really doesn’t want to. That really puts her on the back foot and makes her extremely uncomfortable because it’s something she never does, and it’s basically taking her whole fantasy of conquering Westeros and destroying her enemies and basically forces her to give it up for the sake of maintaining her own mystique. 

So she’s super pissed and Jorah talks her down, and while once again the show cuts away from shit that we actually need to see, it’s fair to assume that he said something along the lines of Sansa is Regina George and you’re currently Janis Ian, so you need to go talk to her and charm her into liking you and the rest of the Northerners will fall in line. So, Dany follows his advice and tries to actually talk to Sansa and to get her to see her as the Enlightened Despot she imagines herself to be. 

Frankly, the conversation between Sansa and Dany is extremely weird and vapid on the surface, but I think it makes sense within a certain context. Namely, that Sansa and Dany both have very clear preconceived notions about each other, however Sansa’s assumptions are generally correct while Dany’s assumptions are completely incorrect. 

Obviously at this point, Sansa isn’t being fooled by charm, and Dany unfortunately reveals herself to Sansa in completely unintentional ways that she doesn’t realize are actually really hurting Sansa’s perception of her. Dany is here to conquer Westeros and force the North into submission, and maybe I’m overestimating Sansa’s political genius here, but what I find extremely interesting is that Dany asks Sansa why they’re at odds with each other but she doesn’t answer. She waits for Dany to answer, and Dany’s answer frankly gives Sansa an enormous political and manipulative advantage by letting her know that she assumes Sansa would not like an invader with dragons and an army the size of a city because she’s jealous that Dany has her brother’s attention. 

And yes, of course, Sansa loves Jon and is likely extremely concerned, but I just cannot believe that Sansa is being genuine in this conversation. This is the woman who had to convince Jon to accept the inevitability of their baby brother dying because focusing on saving him was an existential threat to their family and the North. I cannot believe that she would have more issues with the potential safety and manipulation of her brother who was a king, Lord Commander, and survived with wildlings beyond the wall than she would over Rickon. Not to mention, the notion that at this very moment when the North is on the brink of destruction and everyone is facing down the apocalypse, but somehow Sansa is concerned about the person that Jon may or may not be smashing, is an incredibly condescending and childish assumption to make about her. 

However, Dany does seem to make that assumption. Dany’s whole impression of Sansa seems to initially be that she’s just a catty and frivolous girl, and she seems to think that assuring Sansa that her super cute new crush is the one who really has her wrapped around his finger is enough to reassure her that everything’s fine and that that’s enough for Sansa to accept Dany as queen. 

But then Sansa quickly flips the script and asks about Northern independence, which I honestly think was a mistake on her part. Dany initially saw Sansa just like Cersei and Joffrey and Tyrion and the Tyrells and every other person saw her, as just a superficial idiot who can be easily managed and bent to someone else’s will. I understand why Sansa would never want to play that game again, but it also left her in an enormously advantageous position, and letting Dany know that she was actually very politically minded was not the right move at that moment. But of course, because this is the season of constantly interrupted interesting conversations, as soon as the discussion turns political it’s interrupted. 

Now, what I think is very interesting about Dany is her desire to essentially acquire special people. She wants Tyrion, the “most brilliant man in the kingdoms”, to be her hand. She knows he’s exceptional, and she wants to basically own him. And she goes through the same thing with Jon. She perceives her feelings towards him as love, but I think she really knows nothing about him and just thinks that he’s extraordinary enough to be worthy of her and therefore they must be in love with each other. Dany sees herself as a person unlike any other, with no equal in existence or history, so when people fawn all over her or give her unquestioned loyalty it’s nothing more than what she expects, but when literally anyone seems to care about or respect someone more than they do her, she doesn’t understand it and often sees it as some kind of a betrayal. 

So when Theon shows up to fight for the Starks, she doesn’t necessarily seem mad, but she is clearly baffled, especially because she has already categorized Sansa as someone not special. If she thought Sansa were special or important enough to warrant her attention, Jorah wouldn’t have had to tell her to go try to be friends. But when Theon arrives and asks Sansa to fight for her, she doesn’t get it because in her mind Sansa is not worthy of that kind of devotion because she’s too ordinary, and the fact that someone is prioritizing Sansa over her right in front of her face really puts her off. And what seemingly makes this interchange dangerous is that Dany’s reaction to seeing this doesn’t seem to be a desire to actually understand where it stems from, but seems to result in the immediate conclusion that Sansa herself must be stopped (which is an idea that Dany toyed with in the season premiere as well, but I think it only solidified that idea for her further).

But I think that Sansa and Theon’s interaction here is obviously fascinating as well, both in relation to Dany and in general. Honestly, that kind of raw emotion and vulnerability is something that people in GoT rarely display around one another, and I can’t even think of another instance of Dany actually witnessing two people who genuinely love each other emotionally connect in that way. That’s not generally a way that she feels about a lot of people, and in her world, she is always the center of attention. So even if there are people in her orbit who love each other, she never really sees that. I actually think Emilia’s expression captures that perfectly as well, she both seems put off but unsure of how to react and borderline unsure of WTF it is that she’s actually seeing, because again, it’s pretty abnormal to see people be that emotionally open in public anyway and because it’s something that Dany is completely unaccustomed to seeing when it’s not directed towards her. 

And of course, for Sansa and Theon as a pair, it’s extremely heartwarming and emotional to see how deeply they care for one another, and it’s even more touching to realize how powerfully they have had to repress their own emotions for so long and that they have now gotten to the point where they’re so completely unashamed and completely lacking in self consciousness that they’re willing to be that raw no matter who’s looking. 

Overall, despite the massive flaws of season 8, I do have to say that the scenes between Dany and Sansa are some of my favorite and I wish we had gotten so much more out of them. I actually think the performance chemistry between Emilia and Sophie is better than nearly every other character that Dany was introduced to late in the game, and I think it was a huge mistake to not explore that more and to not fully clarify that these two literal queens are not bickering over a boy’s attention. 

#Anonymous #sansa stark #anti daenerys targaryen #dark!daenerys #got #got meta #sansa stark meta #daenerys targaryen meta #meta

[lionlibretto]

7:56 PM - December 27, 2021 - Safe and Sound

Feeling negative emotions right now as I’m drawing, so that’s why I came on to write. What am I feeling exactly? Anxiety  Why am I feeling anxious? It feels like he’s not talking to me the same way as he did before. Is he not talking to me the same way as he did before, or am I just no longer used to how we talked before? Have I become accustomed to being around emotionally available people these past few weeks, and have I forgotten how normal it was for him to talk to me in the way that he is right now?  He’s not doing anything wrong, but it doesn’t feel the same. However, it’s not going to be the same. There is a lot of baggage to unpack. A lot.  I offered a suggestion that could potentially bring us together, and thus far he’s not as interested as I am in it. I think that’s why I’m anxious - he’s not as into it as I am. That’s the trigger. It’s as if the interest that he once had in spending time with me, regardless of whether he was in a relationship with me or not, has vanished. However I need to remember a couple of things:

It’s not always about me. There is a possibility that it is. There is a possibility that he’s repressing resentment. That is possible and I cannot deny that.  However, it can also be:

He’s afraid of getting hurt further. 

He’s shutting down as a result of his own trauma and resorting to being alone. 

He may be stuffing down the feelings that he had of me before, because he is avoidant of the pain of feeling hurt. Stuffing it down and pretending it doesn’t exist is easier. (note: he has proven to be avoidant in the past). 

He is afraid of being vulnerable.

He is afraid of commitment. 

Theres a number of things it can be. 

Whats bothering me right now?

He didn’t acknowledge my boundary. I did not receive a reframe or an “I understand and accept this boundary” at all. That’s a red flag. His lack of motivation in pursuing the option of gaming to promote discussion with me, plus his lack of acknowledgement of my boundary, kind of tells me that he’s half in the house and half out of the house - that is also displayed by him saying that he’s willing to talk - but only “to an extent”.  What I need to ask myself?  Am I okay with this? Is it fair for me to put energy into someone that has a leg out of the house? I did this to Riley, and it wasn’t fair to her. This may not be fair to me. I think I may need to get some confirmation on his desire to truly resolve things with me. Resolution doesn’t come when someone is only half invested. I cannot settle for half invested, especially when I’m putting my emotions and time on the line in attempting to resolve things.   

#rand

[rambling-addict]

Ok, so I’ve just been on 4 consecutive night shifts. I slept the whole day, and now it’s almost 1 in the morning. And I’m still awake. My mind is so alive right now, and probably a bit on a haywire from all the sleep... and I’ve started rambling again...

Anyway, all I’m thinking about in my head is how I can connect all my favourite characters in shows lol

[Beware: Major rambling ahead.]

So far, in some other botched up universe, I can definitely see Heda Lexa as the offspring of Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo.

Seriously... a tough, badass warrior like a Dothraki, with braids as a traditional way to show off victories. Lexa’s ‘love is weakness’ shit, and the ruthlessness, and the ‘blood must have blood’ violence are all like the fearsome Khal Drogo. Also those intense and vibrant gaze... The war paint/ body paint thing is also a cool coincidence.

And then you have the grace and beauty of Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen... and also her intelligence, wit, and charm. While there is ruthlessness and a cold, detached demeanor to Lexa, she also has a certain softness and urge to be level-headed and fair... and she has internal struggles with regards to following her head or heart. And they chose their heads at one point — Daenerys choosing to leave the illusion of a perfect life with Drogo and their baby, in the House of Undying; then Lexa choosing her people, even with the cost of betraying the girl she loves.

Not only that... they’re all total badass leaders and rulers in their own ways. You just wanna follow them.

Also, there is the parallel of a Drogo/Lexa (dark-haired, unruly and ruthless ‘savage’/ ‘grounder’) being soft and falling in love with Daenerys/Clarke (fiery and strong-willed blonde from a different world/ background with different beliefs). They’ve fallen so deep that they were even willing to change their ways and traditions. Drogo was willing to bring his whole khalasar and cross the narrow sea for Daenerys, something that has never been done. And Lexa changed the tradition of ‘blood must have blood’.

But the brunette-blonde combo though...

Moving on... yup, not done rambling

I just finished watching Motherland: Fort Salem and fuckin’ hell, I’m obsessed... and just so gay for Amalia.

Anyway, I think Raelle Collar can be Lexa and Clarke’s offspring in another messed up and made up universe. I know they can’t possibly make a baby (I work in the medical field, ok)... but there’s also God!Lexa lol... so take it as it is. Boom, powerful witch Raelle. I don’t know how to connect their worlds, ok. Lay off me.

The frizzy/ almost-always-messy blond hair and blue eyes like Clarke... and of course, the never-ending love for awesome braids like Lexa...

But also Raelle’s got the same emotionally repressed personality like Lexa, almost afraid of showing emotions. Then, there’s the stubbornness and some insecurities like Clarke. And there’s also the strong burst of emotions (Raelle yelling in a scene made me think of Lexa’s outburst) and some disregard to authority (stubborn Clarke), quite uncanny...

Raelle is a healer, like Clarke. And she is a badass fighter, too... just needs a bit more focus and acceptance of her actual potential. Other than that, so much B.D.E. And fine stud vibes like Lexa... c’mon, you guys are totally thinking it.

And let’s not forget the blonde-brunette combo! Raelle and Scylla... the chemistry is just off the charts. We, mortals, can’t see it here from earth. Lol

Kind of same story, too... Both Lexa and Scylla opened up to Clarke/ Raelle and they find themselves falling fast for their supposed ‘enemy’/ ‘mark’. And both Clarke and Raelle trusted the one they love, and got ultimately betrayed by them. And still, at the end, their love was far greater than their hurt. And the betrayal was something Lexa/ Scylla truly regret, but couldn’t change.

And that’s all I got for now. This is my headcanon, atm...might want to add into it later on. But seriously, I wanted to add Warrior Nun’s Avatrice so bad! Still thinking on it lol

Though, on second thought.. I can totally see Abigail Bellweather having some sort of rivalry with Lilith... and Beatrice, though she’s also a rich elite, doesn’t care for it all. Beatrice might get friendly with Scylla, seeing as they both have parental issues and both are also emotionally-stunted. And Tally would probably get along well with Camila and Ava. Mary and Raelle, the brooding duo, would just watch on the sidelines, watching chaos ensue. Lol.

And it’s half an hour later now... I know I’ve talked too much again... lol. Whatever.

#wlw #clexa #raylla #avatrice #game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #khal drogo #drogo x daenerys #clarke griffin #heda lexa #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #motherland fort salem #warrior nun #just me rambling #stop me #ignore me #still can’t sleep #did you read all that? #probably not #now i’m talking to myself #just rambling thoughts

[tthael]

I apologize if you’ve already written about this before, but one thing I’ve been wondering about your Indelicate version of Eddie is in regard to his occasional tendency toward more (for lack of a better/less serious-sounding term) “aggresive” actions (e.g., throwing the lotion bottle, throwing the water, etc.) directed toward Richie. I know it was hinted at that the urges to aggress may sometimes be/have been the result of repressed or misconstrued attraction, but I’m wondering if some of it is also a result of Eddie’s injury and the related feelings of a lack of control over his own body? Like hypothetically, if Eddie were never injured or if we fast-forward to him completely healed, do you think that moments like that would still happen? Or am I just really reading too much into the fic and making up this aspect of it? Hope that makes sense - I just love your characterization of Eddie and I want to make sure I’m understanding as much as I can!

I actually haven’t written about this before, and I think that it’s a good thing that I take the time to meditate on it now, because I don’t want the idea that throwing things at your romantic partner is, like, a good thing.

So a lot of my thoughts on Eddie’s aggression derive from two specific aspects of his portrayal. The first (chronologically in Eddie’s timeline) is the portrayal of Eddie as high-strung, snappy, and verbally combative in IT Chapter One (2017).  Within the last year and a half I saw a post that pointed out that some of Eddie’s aggression--especially in interacting with Richie--probably derives from the high-stress situations of a) being hunted by an alien clown demon and b) being abused at home. I had a college professor discussing a history and trauma class point out that, “Traumatized people don’t always behave well.” There are the usual caveats that explanations are not excuses; however, I think that the constant knowledge that he has to return to Sonia’s house and the persistent alarms telling him when he has to take medication, so that even when he’s apart from her he can’t get away from her interference, means that Eddie’s under high pressure. And then you get to the point where all of the children in Derry are being hunted by an actual monster, and it’s a wonder that Eddie behaves as well as he does, because I certainly wouldn’t.

I usually like to incorporate some of book!Eddie’s dreamy introspection into his internal narrative in Indelicate, and I think that some of his pressures are relaxing now that he’s a) no longer living in a house with Sonia, b) acting specifically in ways that maximize his own agency (going where he wants with whom he wants, eating what he wants, actively rejecting much of her influence). However, he’s still got a lot on his plate, and some habits die hard. This is why I have moments of Eddie waiting with the perfect snappy comeback on his tongue, and then stopping himself because he knows it’s something he doesn’t mean. He doesn’t actually want Richie to never talk again, he loves it when Richie talks, and he’s struggling towards sincerity. I personally have a lot of difficulty letting go of the put-down jokes in favor of being sincere with the people I love, so I thought I’d give Eddie several moments of consciously choosing to be honest and kind with Richie.

The second influence on Eddie’s relationship to physically “lashing out” is his introductory scene from IT (1986), where he’s leaving home and Myra is chasing after him demanding explanations and wailing about how terrified she is. I know that there are lots of analyses of this scene and thoughts on Myra versus Sonia, and I’m not interested in those right now; however, what caught my eye was that Eddie sees Myra’s distress and his first thought is something along the lines of “you might as well hit her”--not that he wants to hit her and he has nothing to lose, but that his causing her emotional distress is as bad as physically abusing his wife. (I can’t recall at the moment whether Eddie’s section comes before or after Bev’s introduction, but I want to say that it’s before, and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that Bev and Eddie’s very different home lives are contrasted.)

So I thought, that as a boy child without a father, raised and abused by his single mother--and considering his issues with (as I write it) suppressed gay feelings, and the sort of “glass closet” I write him with--Eddie’s concepts of masculinity are probably pretty toxic. I think that in order to maintain control over Eddie, Sonia probably got very emotionally manipulative when he resisted her at all, especially as he got older and taller and physically stronger than her, and that she probably cried out things like “Eddie, you’re hurting me, how can you hurt your mother like this?” and made Eddie feel like the abuser (which is, I’m given to understand, a frequent tactic of abusers: reversing the roles to make the victim feel apologetic and guilty). I’m specifically thinking of the way that Gillian Flynn writes manipulative white women who weaponize white women’s fragility--Adora in Sharp Objects, since that’s actually the only Gillian Flynn book I’ve read so far. I think that Eddie would be very conscious of what he perceives as his capacity to be an aggressor, and it would be one more way that Sonia could keep him docile.

Later, with Myra--and I’m writing Myra more sympathetically in Indelicate than I did in Things That Happen After Eddie Lives, so I’m not interested in getting into the “is Myra abusive?” conversation right now, because I’ve written her both ways--I think that Eddie likely had a sort of learned helplessness about his own agency with Sonia that he then transferred onto his relationship with Myra. In Indelicate, I write him with a lot of reluctance to volunteer any information towards her, or his emotional state, or to make any of his wishes known (frequently she shoots them down as too extravagant, the way that I talked about Eddie’s relationship to money and luxury and Myra refusing a larger bed).

I write Eddie as largely unaware of his attraction to men until his near-death-experience, but only because he did not allow himself to connect the dots between what he thought of as physical symptoms (tunnel vision on hot man in coffee shop = optic nerve impairment, see doctor); but I think that Eddie was profoundly aware of his unhappiness in his marriage and just tried to reason with himself that everyone felt like that, and everyone was miserable and suppressing their own wants and needs, because that’s just what marriage is, and any other approach to his marriage would make him abusive, so Eddie and Myra’s marriage was emotionally volatile and extremely stressful.

Which is to say that Indelicate Eddie is a powder keg when Richie gets to him.

Again, I don’t think that throwing things at your romantic partner is an acceptable mode of interaction and I don’t want any readers to get the idea that that’s the underlying message of Indelicate, because it’s not. The scene with the moisturizer is derived from something that happened to me years ago (I was Richie, the guy I had a crush on was Eddie) involving a wayward Frisbee; the scene where Eddie tries and fails to throw a drink at Richie is derived from an anecdote of the early days of my parents’ marriage (my mother was Eddie), one that my father’s coworkers and boss loved to talk about and his best friend still brings up when they hang out.

However, Eddie’s relationship to physicality is also deeply informed by a tumblr post I saw over a year ago that talked about how Eddie grew up being told that he was fragile and delicate and sickly, and how Richie did not give a shit about any of that and was more than willing to just grapple him. For this fic, I decided to lean into that idea: that Eddie longs to be treated as though he’s solid and healthy and strong, and he finds a lot of relief in Richie <i>not</i> treating him gently. But because Eddie is actually physically injured in Indelicate, Richie is being careful not to break him while also dealing with Eddie’s very real (and largely unvoiced) desire for physical contact. It’s not an accident that at the end of the chapter in which Richie and Eddie have a shouting match that Richie wrestles Eddie to the floor and pins him and blows a raspberry on his belly--which is incredibly juvenile at the same time that it’s a display of Richie’s physical capabilities and Eddie finds that bizarrely attractive.

So, on top of Eddie’s desire for physical contact, his extreme stressors, and his lifetime of maladaptive coping mechanisms--the other thing that I consider when I write his dynamic with Richie is that Richie is not physically intimidated by Eddie at all. This is not because Richie is stronger than Eddie (he is) or larger than Eddie (he is). This is because there was a time in which Richie and Eddie found it perfectly acceptable to grapple each other as a form of interactions, because Richie and Eddie have known each other since they were seven years old. I even like to think that at one point, Eddie was the taller of the two, because Richie hit a really ridiculous growth spurt somewhere around the start of puberty and Eddie was something of a “late-bloomer,” and Eddie silently seethed about it through their entire adolescence.

So when Richie and Eddie lash out at each other--largely Eddie, because I think Richie, with his fear of the werewolf and of losing control and hurting someone--they’re building on sort of a lifetime of informal physicality. Stitchy does something similar in their Richie/Eddie fic where elements of roleplay always appear in their romance, because they were kids who played pretend games together, and when you have a bond like that with someone, it does permanently shape what sort of interaction you do and do not find acceptable. I also included a flashback into childhood where Richie gets angry with Eddie and very deliberately and methodically pushes him down on the ground and Eddie cries, not because Richie physically hurt him (he didn’t), but because it wasn’t in good fun there, that was Richie deciding to throw him around because he knew it would upset him.

So there’s a lot going into Eddie’s physically aggressive responses in Indelicate--the toxic masculinity that dictates the way that men are allowed to express anger and the ways in which they are allowed to touch each other; the profound stress that Eddie has endured for his whole lifetime without getting many better coping mechanisms; the feeling of lack of control of his physical body; a regression to childhood habits; and a deep sense of relief that Richie (being big, strong, and a man) is not vulnerable to him in the way that Sonia convinced him she (and later Myra) were.

I hmm’d and haww’d over a scene in the most recent chapter in which Eddie strikes Richie with an open hand (it’s a little slap on the chest, and I wanted it to come across very like the sort of corrective smack to the back of the head that I can imagine any of the Losers issuing to Richie back in 1989 when he shoots off at the mouth), because that’s not something I’d be comfortable doing to a romantic partner myself. Richie thinks nothing of it and turns it into a dirty joke, but I do need to get more into Eddie’s decision to touch Richie in kind ways in direct refusal of that “you construct intricate rituals that allow you to touch other men” facet of toxic masculinity.

I know it’s a ridiculously long answer, but it’s a serious issue and I wanted to give it the greatest possible consideration instead of writing something flip. Because both the incidents you named (ones I didn’t even realize formed a pattern, to be honest) are drawn from real life, I can’t say that they’re moments that are influenced by Eddie’s physical disability, but I do think they’re more influenced by his emotional state. I also think that as some of his stressors come off his plate and he gets more comfortable having an adult relationship with Richie, he’s going to stop throwing things at him. I even had Eddie stop after throwing the water, not just because it was ridiculous but because he realized how out of line he was in that moment. Recognizing when you’re out of control in an argument is, I find, an important part of self-improvement; and learning to walk away or to reset is a valuable skill.

Thank you so much for reading!

#anon #my fic #indelicate #indelicate spoilers #now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate #nwigsmsi

[montystarotchild]

Aries

I want to start off by pointing out that your cards had a lot of Mars energy present. Which I recognize as a build up of energy within you. For many of you this energy is expressed through anger or rage. This full moon clarity is coming to you. You are being called to loosen your grip on life Aries. This may feel like free falling to you, unknown and scary but a very necessary part of the process. There is so much energy surrounding letting go of the past within this reading, ‘The Great Severing’, ‘releasing the past’, ‘Let God in’. Where God is anger cannot lie. And when I speak of God I mean your God, whoever that is for you. You are connecting with Source through your heart space and introducing more healing into your life. All of this connection and beautiful energy will soothe your anger and pain like a cooling balm. The things that pain you will almost have a numbing effect compared to the greatness of life. It’s time to breathe out Aries. The sacred union coming in is Spirit entering your heart and uplifting your spirit to a peaceful level. This is a turning point for you Aries, a karmic point of finally allowing Spirit to take over and allow you to gain independence in a completely different way. This is your life, a gift given. Use that Mars energy to enliven your passion for the Divine. Embrace this change and lean on Spirit when you feel low on the desire keep moving forward. There may also be some Gemini energy that can help you stay mutable in these healing times.

Taurus

Wow Taurus, this full moon is inviting you to surrender to the Divine and release the negativity. All of the thoughts that you have about yourself, if they aren’t building you up, it’s time to remove them. Nothing will come of putting yourself down before you’ve truly been able to begin something. For someone specific, if you’ve been wanting to express yourself through singing but have doubts this is your sign to go for it! Either way your voice is of importance at this time Taurus. You have a beautiful voice and it deserves to be heard. It’s time to shift your perspective and realize that you have and always will be enough. Just as you are. You have the also have the eleventh house, ‘I connect’. What do the connections in your life look like? This full moon may be revealing the ones that are healthy and thriving vs the ones that are draining and negative. Discernment on who is for you will be important while you are in this surrendering phase. Some of you may also be feeling as if you are at a fork in the road in regards to your career life and overall purpose. I’m feeling this energy between stagnancy in everyday routine and having so many options as the “next steps”, but choosing not to move instead. But I am seeing a breakthrough in this energy. You can connect to your sacred feminine in order to release and accept the Universe’s help in guidance. Be soft with yourself Taurus. Try not to push yourself beyond your own limitations. Also try not to think your way to a solution. This is all about allowing. Be of service to yourself so that you may spread that beautiful energy to your close mutuals. Pisces and Gemini energy may be important to you as well.

Gemini

In true Gemini nature I am seeing that you may have been struggling with certain oppositions in your life. I feel like Geminis are making decisions at all times in life. You have the gift of seeing the potential in all things which can also sometimes be difficult for you. This full moon is bringing clarity and harmony in opposition and you are able to see the bigger picture. No longer feeling pulled in two different directions you are able to direct your creative energy more directly and confidently. You are holding yourself accountable for going after all of the things you want creatively. This full moon is helping you understand more and more that your life is the canvas and your dreams are the tools needed to create a masterpiece. You are creating more from your heart space, nurturing yourself from the inside out. There may be changes that come up for you. So much so that it may leave you asking why and trying to rationalize your emotions. Listen to your intuition when it tells you that you don’t have to have a label for every emotion or over analyze them for “more clarity”. Your clarity is in the here and now. Move into your heart and feel your feelings. It’s time for you to receive the Divine’s message of safety. You are safe Gemini. This full moon you may be focusing more on the practice of meditation to connect with your heart space. This will strengthen your patience for and understanding of self. Also, focusing on the here and now can assist you in noticing the beauty that is all around you right now. Find comfort in this and know that what you focus on grows. Choose nurturing and peace this full moon.

Cancer

Wow Cancerians, this is going to be a very healing moon for you. You start the reading with releasing the past and ‘I’m sorry’. There are past pains that are being uprooted, observed and then healed. There is a breakthrough where someone will be righting past wrongs. You are slowing down and taking inventory of yourself and the innovations within you. Some changes, either in heart or mind, may appear sporadically and catch you by surprise. You may have had difficulties in the past allowing your light to continue to shine through tough circumstances, almost like turning yourself into a different person. This is an opportunity for healing if you allow the Divine to work through you. With the fifth house here, you are co-creating with Spirit in order to shine your authentic light through. The fifth house is also where you get to express your artistic vision and unique creativity. Where you can have fun through creative expression. Looking to see the 5H ruler and the planets gathered there can show you the best way to express yourself creatively (Gemini = writing, Aries = something physical like drumming etc.). This full moon is allowing you to release the chaos and conflict of everyday life and to find some tolerance and balance emotionally. I think it’s time to take on the mysterious nature of Scorpio and give yourself some Hermit time. Secluding yourself can limit your chaos and conflict intake and this full moon could be the perfect timing. We all go through cycles but this time you have to decide that you want to grow through these cycles. The Sun is shining on this reading Cancer, signifying self-confidence, growth and an abundance of creativity. I truly hope you enjoy this time!

Leo

Ok Leos, I see that you are doing a lot of inner child work this full moon. You may be facing abandonment wounds, the struggle of being silenced as a child and other heavy memories. But there is the strong message of you are not alone and to dive deep into these feelings. There is a new beginning opening up for you but as always you must first release. All of the things that you believe make you who you are may need some questioning. This full moon you are facing a rebirth. Your intuition is calling you to nurture yourself and make space for the joy that you are calling in. You know that you are in the process of planting new seeds but you have to check the soil that you are working with. You also know that no matter the condition, you are not irreparable. You are ending the never-ending stories that you tend to keep on repeat. You are tapping into your inner wisdom so much so that you know the narrative can always change, and look how far that has gotten you thus far! This is the time where the truth will not be spared. Not to yourself or others. This may look like more boundaries, limitations in accessing your energy and taking only the responsibilities that belong to you. You are eager for this rebirth and anything that stands in the way of that, even your own mind, can be cleared out in a healthy manner. Remember that an important part of this process is the gratitude for just how far you have come and gratitude for your inner knowing that greater is coming. Sing your song of gratitude to the sky Leos, the heavens are listening with proud ears. Again, you are not alone in this.

Virgo

This full moon is going to be very empowering for you Virgo. You are tapping into your inner wisdom much easier with the moon being in your sign. You even had the full moon card come out in your reading, talk about aligning lol. This full moon is calling you to honor yourself Virgo. All of the things that you’ve always said you wanted to do, what happened? Of course in the midst of COVID, we are in a different world but your dreams are still very real. Your repressed desires are being revealed in the light of this full moon, calling to you. But first you must take a look at what you have already been investing your time into. Like I said in one of the other readings, what you feed grows. You can be a very committed individual. But it may sometimes feel as if you find it difficult to commit to certain things. The only thing stopping you from taking off is you and I say this with the most love possible. I myself have held back from many opportunities, making any and every excuse. But it’s time for you to go the distance Virgo. There is a new beginning being introduced between February 27th and March 13th with the new moon in Pisces, your sister sign. During this time your energy is peaking and Spirit is asking you to step up and into what you really want to do. Listen to your heart. And if you begin to hear your mind instead, telling you that you must do it this way and if not it’s useless or pointless or if you feel yourself restricting remember that it’s ok to be daring sometimes. People have the audacity to do all kinds of things so why can’t you have the audacity to go after your own dreams? You are not alone in this. Scorpio energy may be important during this time or you could be channeling this energy for yourself in order to take charge emotionally.

Libra

Wow Libra, this full moon is allowing you to look at your deepest, darkest truths and to be able to honor them. If you have been feeling a sense of heaviness around you look to see where you may be carrying too much. Most times, when we are able to fully look at ourselves and evaluate our emotions and thought patterns, we can see that a lot of what we’re carrying isn’t even originally ours. Spending most of our time with family or significant others we can sometimes just adapt to what they believe is true. Especially if that means we can keep the peace. But I’m seeing that this may actually be causing the conflict that you were trying to avoid in the first place. And the only reason that this is important is because we are all supposed to be living in our authentic truth. When we don’t, no matter how hard we try, things still seem to feel inharmonious. But all of this has a purpose Libra. This severing that is happening within your life is a removal of the things that just don’t fit anymore. And you are recognizing that during this full moon. You know that it’s pointless to allow your fear to hold you back just because you know you have to face yourself on the way out. I can see that this is a big decision for you, a marking of events that sends you on a brand new trajectory. You have ‘Round and Round’ and the 6th house which is the house of routine and health. You may find yourself shifting your routine around to incorporate more of what you love to do throughout your days. You are in between energies right now so it’s most important that you focus on the journey and not so much the outcome of it all. Patience as you transform will be important as well. Some of you may be dealing with the inheritance of property or money during this full moon. Some of you may also be getting more into esotericism or occultism. You may also find more understanding of your shadow self here.

Scorpio

What a surrendering time for you Scorpios! Surrendering to joy, surrendering to the totality of life and surrendering to the acceptance that you are accountable for all of your gifts and talents. As you are in this space with the Divine you are gaining a new level of autonomy. Your perspective is so unique and pure. You can picture yourself within the world but also the bigger picture of it all. While others still look at this time within as imprisoning, you are looking at all of the sweetness of life, finding pleasure wherever you are personally interested in being. Your sensuality is oozing out of this reading Scorpio. You are feeling very much so in your natural element during this time even with the full moon being in Virgo, a very critical but nurturing moon. This energy is moving you into action. You are bringing your full energetic potential to all that you work hard towards. And when I say hard I mean going after the things you really want, not just working yourself into the ground. There’s a difference, there’s a balance. Your inner wisdom will be loud and clear at this time especially for you. Your discernment will aide you in knowing what isn’t for you. You are such a giving individual and not everyone is meant to bask in that energy for too long. Some people can get very comfortable with your gifts. But I am seeing that you are embracing this change naturally. As you are expressing your courage by sharing your gifts with mutuals, I can see your determination growing in order to maintain and grow these authentic connections. You will naturally know who to share with and how much to share. Do not second guess the knowledge that comes from within. It’s your voice of truth and will never steer you wrong.

Sagittarius

This full moon in Virgo is brining you a new level of self-awareness. While things may seem chaotic all around you, you will be able to feel grounded and at peace with who and where you are. You are a multifaceted being with a unique vision. There is a focus on all things tenth house related, so social status, structures, public image and achievements. I’m seeing two sides to this reading, on one end you are truly finding your step in times of relaxation but you are also going after you want in a healthy manner. This full moon is allowing you to tap into your emotions and find where you feel most safe within yourself. Again this is important because the rest of the reading points to dissonance within the relationships around you. That’s ok because it’s not everyone I’m seeing. There are relationships that you naturally relate to and with. Through it all it is important for you to focus on your breath. Breathing is necessary in order to balance your emotional being. If you feel yourself beginning to react to your surroundings, breathe. This will be a great time to lean into your creative urges. Feed yourself what you have been believing others can offer you. Allow yourself to shine in the privacy of your own company. An audience of 1, the only one who matters in that moment. I see with all of this creativity comes structure as well. You are growing your work ethic and becoming more meticulous with your decisions. You love what you do and you want to make sure you give things the attention that you feel it deserves. This will help ground your energy.

Capricorn

This full moon is brining you an inner awareness Capricorn. You are finding clarity in the relationships around you and understanding that there is nothing you can control outside of yourself. This full moon is exposing the karmic relationships within your life that were here solely to deliver a message. You are releasing the past and choosing to heal the parts of you that you may have neglected when in these karmic relationships. It’s important to point out that friendships, not matter how long, can also be karmic as well. There is communication coming in for you as well. You are gaining new information or a new level of knowledge in regards to manifesting. You are learning that everything present within your life now is based off of your prayers and manifestations come true. Now that could be either a good or neutral thing for you. You are learning also to tap into your artistry more, mastering the thing you love. You focusing on this thing you love even through your day to day brings you a very centering energy. You are able to ground yourself in this energy and find peace. As all of these things occur inwardly and intimately there is still chaos or conflict around you. From now until around March 21, you will be able to make beneficial decisions for your own sense of peace. Even outside of this timeframe, you will feel more called to take action against all that you feel is an obstacle to your joy and happiness. Because at this point you know that that is all there is to life. I’m seeing that you are over asking “why?” and moving more into faith. Just like with your dreams and manifestations, you realize that there is a method to living. There must be something that you are able to fully devote your energy to at this time. Nothing is nothing. And everything happens for a reason. I heard “your faith is feeding your fate”. There is a level of trust that I feel here for Spirit which I’m guessing is how you are going to feel at the end of all of this clearing out. This is a great release for you Capricorns, it’s brining in some much deserved energy and peace.

Aquarius

Like the true nature of an Air sign, your mind is getting a big refresh this full moon. You are finding a transformation in the way that you speak and think Aquarius. You may have been daydreaming recently about what it would feel like if you could show up as your authentic self in any situation. You could have felt inspired by someone else living and speaking in their truth that it triggered your inspiration for self. This full moon is allowing you to dive deeper into your gifts and to explore the lessons of life all around you. This may even come up as conflict or heated situations with close loved ones. There may be habits of codependency that are revealed to you just as you try to focus more on being your authentic self. You may find that people are dependent upon a person who doesn’t really exist, it is the idea of you. With this full moon though you are stepping into your true innovative energy, almost transforming before your own eyes. This is the person “you have always dreamed of becoming” but are realizing that it’s just you. You’ve been waiting on you this whole time. We all come here with a purpose and destiny, every decision you have made may not look like it but that’s how fate works. In the end it all makes sense. During this full moon look back at all that you have accomplished. If it helps try writing down some major or minor accomplishments that meant the most to you. Reflect on how it felt in that moment vs after when you received that accomplishment. I see that you will be in a cycle of breakthroughs and releasing between now and around the end of May with the next lunar eclipse. You will be receiving help from your spiritual team but it may not be the time where they look the most obvious. As you continue to align with your highest truth do not be afraid to be led by your intuition. This is especially for times when you have to make a decision but see no signs of help from Spirit. It’s within.

Pisces

This full moon is in Virgo and that is your sister sign within the astrological signs. You are being called to release this full moon and you will physically feel this pull. Your body will be sending you messages of the things that you are either still attached to or is still attached to you. This will be a very detoxifying time for you Pisces. There was a lot of earth energy within your reading, meaning that you will be very grounded in all of this energy. Ironically you started off with ‘the Sun’ and ‘You’ll survive this’. That’s a beautiful start to have! It’s ensuring that no matter what it looks like on the outside of your vessel, you are doing your best and there isn’t anything that you can’t survive. As you express yourself authentically there will be new beginnings and solutions to old issues that arise. I do see that as you progress spiritually you are still learning how to be human. You are finding your balance between the spiritual and the physical, growing your connection with Spirit but still aligning with what you achieve in the 3D. You are learning how to be in the world but not of it. There is a regeneration around all that you have thought that you wanted in the past. There is no judgement to this, we all evolve and our decisions change as we change. There may be resistance or struggle around this. You are learning that there is very little effort that is needed towards this regeneration because it is a natural occurrence. There is so much energy of releasing Pisces and that is such beautiful energy for you! This clearing out will not leave you empty or hollow. Gratitude will take it’s place. You are grateful for all of the nurturing that you now have available to yourself. You are grateful that you finally decided to clear out all that was keeping you stagnant and obsessed with conflict. You are using all of this beautiful energy for acts of service for others. There is also an air of mystery surrounding you during this time. You are sharing only what you want with others and gaining autonomy over your own privacy. Such beautiful energy to grow in Pisces, I believe in you loves. Oh and happy birthday to all the beautiful Pisces! 🎉

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