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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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skialdi · 9 months

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“Which sibling tried to kill Luffy?”

#asl brothers #portgas d ace #sabo #monkey d luffy #uta #asl + uta #uta one piece #one piece #one piece fanart #;; my art #skialdi art #digital art #anime art #fanart #long time no background #I love these four and this drawing is endlessly amusing to me #please enjoy them being a meme and bullying ace #when we all know what the true answer is

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egophiliac · 10 months

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still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #sebek: wow we're so lucky to see lilia-sama at his fighting prime. so commanding! so powerful!#lilia: (straight up stuffs a frog in his mouth without breaking eye contact)#seriously though i did not think it was possible for me to enjoy lilia even more. and yet.#'dragon eggs need love in order to hatch'#ten year old me: gasp. i knew it.#the IMPLICATIONS though!#forget true love's kiss we have true love's baby dragon over here #also twst. twst please. i do feel i need to call you out a little bit on malleus' age #i don't really have a problem with it i was just. surprised.#i mean i GUESS the description of dragon ages was vague enough that malleus being under 200 doesn't inherently contradict it #it could've been clearer okay :(#that said it is true that the younger malleus is the more hilarious his whole world-weary immortal schtick is #'ah...you are all as infants in comparison to me. ' - malleus (age 19)#also lilia being a foundling does explain him not knowing his real birthday. so i will forgive (1) birth-related shenanigan.#auuuugh the parallels between lilia and silver #brb i need to go roll around on the ground and mutter to myself for a while

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heymacy · 1 month

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

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chilumitos · 6 months

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𝆬 𓈒 ⴰ 🧁 my baby 𓈒 ۫ ೀ

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tornado1992 · 2 months

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Do you guys think that Sonic has scars?

Not like Tails’, definitely not like those. Tails’ scars are from ripping fur, burning flesh, badly healed broken bones, deep cuts, and stuff he doesn’t even remember, from before he even met Sonic and started fighting Eggman. So many scars. He’s covered in them, his fur hides them, so he’s lucky that his tails are the fluffiest part of him, that’s where he has the most scars, hes not exactly ashamed of his scars, they show what he’s survived, they show that he came through all that. But still, most of them are a painful reminder that he had to survive, not live, survive.

Now Sonic… Sonic has very few scars, almost none of them from fights or Eggman encounters, his dumb bots couldn’t ever dream of hurting him, he was way too fast for that, way too strong. So they’re not from those fights, no, they’re from something completely different.

All the baby fox fangs marks in his hands, all the deep scratches from tiny little claws in his chest and the back of his arms, all the little cuts close to his face, all of them.

Sonic is proud of those scars.

He’s proud of those scars, because each and every of those scars are a reminder that he baby fox that caused them survived, because every time Sonic bled because of that kid, it was worth it.

Because he tried to bathe him when he was more blood and mud than fur. Because he forced him to take medicine when he was sick. Because he hugged him every time he had a nightmare and wouldn’t wake up even if it meant he would instinctively try to hurt him in the process. Because he held him and didn’t let go even when he felt tiny claws digging and ripping in his skin.

Those scars meant his little brother still wanted to survive. Those scars meant Sonic did everything to make sure he would live.

He’s proud of those scars.

#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic and tails #unbreakable bond #they are cosmic truth #they’re brothers your honor #those aren’t war scars those are honor scars #Sonic showing off the tiny claw marks with the same pride as if it was a huge beast what cause them #maybe even more #Tails does feel bad because they are a reminder that he hurt Sonic even if he wasn’t doing it on purpose #but Sonic doesn’t mind and even shows them of because they’re a reminder of how much he loves him #kinda mushy but it’s the true #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #please tell me this counts as wholesome I’m the angst trenches and I can’t get out

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freckleslikestars · 11 months

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Claudia Black as Aeryn Sun in every episode of FARSCAPE

#farscape #aeryn sun #farscape gifs #claudia black #claudia black gifs #aeryn sun gifs #my gifs #when I say making this gifset nearly killed both me and my laptop #a true labour of love #im planning to do one for crichton too #but i need to give my eyes a rest first #please dear god don't let this gifset flop #this took a grand total of 19 and a half hours #nine hours spent selecting and capturing footage #and ten and a half hours actually making the gifs #but i'd do anything for the love of my life #i was contemplating doing an x files one of these for scully and mulder but scully's would be 2 1/2 times longer #and like...i don't have the time or energy for that #but i will do a crichton one at some point

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shitpostingkats · 3 months

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The world ends with you gave the depressed 2000s tweens so many gifts, and one of the greatest is introducing the player to a cast of fun, well rounded, and deeply human feeling background characters, only for the very premise of the game to be that all of these people are dead, leaving the player to grapple with the fridge horror and possibly fill in the blanks with their own ideas.

#ALL of the shibuya reapers are DEAD. They had PARTNERS and ENTRY FEES #and the player is fully free to DECIDE what they think those were #*wearing shirt that says ‘PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY REAPER HCS’*#we need to make discussing our reaper headcanons a fandom pastime #ANY story we make up could be true and I love all of them #twewy #the world ends with you #ntwewy #neo twewy #neo the world ends with you

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whaliiwatching · 3 months

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memes in defiance of valentine’s day

(blood & artistic nudity under readmore)

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #hot bloody transmasc peter under cut #not doing anything risqué tho sorry lol #hobie brown’s spider getup includes four inch platforms thats why hes tall only when hes masked #otherwise theyre 5’8 which is still tall but not compared to their GIANT PARTNER whom they LOVE #did you know theyre so in love did you did you #that last no-color sketch is actually transfem peter but i dont think too many people will pick up on that #oh well. i do my work regardless of praise #(not true please love me)#these were a lot of fun and i do have more to post hehe #tw blood

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loregoddess · 2 months

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hi, have a silly thing that I was possessed to suddenly make, don't take it too seriously

#you can't tell my Cyrus wouldn't love hugs but give really awkward hugs--I know this to be true in my heart #octopath traveler #octopath traveler 2 #octopath ii #why this suddenly came to me I'm not sure it just did and I was like ''yeah that's a thing I should make''#graphic design is not my passion please accept this as it is #oracle of lore #I've been in an big Octopath mood lately

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butterflysonnets · 3 months

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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

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chrisbangs · 8 months

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Bang Chan Social Path (feat. LiSA) M/V

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #skz #createskz #bystay #*gifs #*m #flashing tw #choking tw #just to be safe i suppose !#this is hideous but <3 please accept it..#his shots were so bad lol.. anyway i dont need to be that person but yeah... as always lol #i love this song so much..#love when skz make songs that make me wanna die.. true

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prince-kallisto · 2 days

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This has been on my mind for SUCH a long time, but I can’t hold back anymore:

185 cm tall, exceeding the height requirement. The “air of nonchalance” actually referred to the Phantom Bride’s “perfect prince” being slim in the Japanese version

I know Crowley has skincare routines with all of his personal grooming and massages he talks about 🙏his skin is best quality for being like 700 years old 👆 I’m sure his eyes are very handsome, AND HIS SMILE IS SO CHARMING AUGHHH 💖💖💖🐦‍⬛

😤Rook describes a crow’s feathers as being iridescent…this is shimmering, right?! Crowley’s hair is slightly iridescent in my eyes 🗣️ And I’m sure you all know my opinion about the last part as well NAJXJD

“A preposterously prepossessing (attractive/appealing) gentleman,,,” Crowley canonically describes himself as handsome 😤👆

Crowley is…the perfect prince 🐦‍⬛

(Actually, Crowley- why did you meet all these qualifications for the ghost *marriage* event 🤨 are you perhaps a prince or some form of royalty- *gets King’s Roared* /hj 😭)

#PLEASE IM SEIROUS SOME ONE LISTEN TO ME SNCNSJXJDHD 😭🤣🤣🤣#I know these standards were not the point of the event #it’s about true love for who the person is 😌 B UT ALSO CROWLEY IS THE PERFDCT PRINCE…TO ME #it’s the fact that HE LAUGHS ABOUT IT IN THE END ABT HOW ITS JUST A FANTASY #CROWLEY IM SHAKINGN YOU AUGHHH #twisted wonderland #twst #dire crowley #twst dire crowley #twst phantom bride #kallistopost

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egophiliac · 8 months

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so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection: