#(that’s not the only reason but it was definitely one of them lol)

[dee-morris]

Some Random Thoughts on the Nature of Free Will

Thinking about that conversation from the book that got put into The Resurrectionists. Aziraphale is explaining how he and Crowley are good and wicked, respectively, but they have no choice while Elspeth does. Bc humans can't be truly good unless they have the choice to be wicked.

(This is where I usually end up arguing with someone on Twitter lol bc they think Aziraphale is being Mean to Crowley by calling him wicked. It's just a brand name darling, not a judgment call. He literally said in the same breath that he's not TRULY wicked bc he wasn't given a choice.)

So I'm sitting here thinking about free will and the choices the celestials are given, which are not many. And I wonder if one of the reasons they were drawn to the Arrangement was to give them each the choices that humans were born with. One can't be truly good without the opportunity to do wrong, so perhaps being able to work both sides of the equation helped them develop into truly moral beings and not just extensions of their offices. We see in Uz how they're able to work together and bounce off each other to save Job's family, even though the Arrangement didn't properly exist yet.

I've also seen lots of takes and metas that indicate that people view Heaven and Hell as a class system: Heaven is the upper-class privileged majority, while Hell is oppressed, kicked out, downtrodden. I think people forget that the primary difference between the two is aesthetic. Hell has all the same powers as Heaven, and they both intend to burn humanity to the ground in order to prove their gang is best.

No, if we're going to talk about who's got privilege, it's definitely humanity over heaven or hell. We have free will and imagination, which are more miraculous than anything. Sure they've got all these powers and can work miracles and so on, but where's that gotten them? We can actually change things. All they can do is try and influence us to change things, and their success rate isn't high. Two of the most powerful beings in the universe couldn't convince an eleven year old boy to blow things up. That's. Pathetic, actually.

Which brings me back around to the ineffables. Because they actually DO have free will, but I don't think they're used to realizing that they do, which might be why they act a little bone headed sometimes. The show implies and the book comes right out and says that they picked it up from being around humans. And like I said earlier, I think the Arrangement played a big part. They were actually able to choose to do good or evil, a luxury that normally only humans can enjoy.

And the best part of this, for me anyway, is knowing that everything that they are to each other is a conscious choice. Aziraphale didn't want to be a fighter, so he gave his sword away and made the conscious choice to be soft and silly and get into scrapes. And Crowley chooses to come to his rescue because he likes it, not because he is obligated. It's a way for him to choose to do good without getting in trouble. They are each other's outlet to explore humanity in a way that would be impossible if they were on their own.

Aziraphale speaks French badly and flutters his eyelashes and plans elaborate Balls because he loves doing human things and he wants to do them with Crowley. Crowley drives a sleek classic sex machine with bullet hole stickers on the windows and goes on capers and performs daring moves because he loves doing things the human way and he wants to do them with Aziraphale. The way they interact and work together because they WANT to, and not because it's their Great Bloody Destiny or whatever, is so fucking beautiful to me.

#aziraphale #good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale my beloved #good omens meta #crowley good omens #free will #heaven and hell

[misc-obeyme]

cc. your tags on the boudoir post. MAMMON recieving an album of those photos. i'd love to hear your thoughts on his reaction (and everyone else's, if you're feeling particularly inspired?)

Ah, Daisy, my dear, thank you for asking!

I apologize for this late response, but I knew I was gonna be getting wordy with this one. Because I looove the boudoir photos idea in general and OH MAN just thinking about all their reactions is making me crazy lol. I was going to just do my regular sort of response, but this turned into full on headcanons oops.

So just in case anyone missed it, here is the original post!

My thoughts change a little bit depending on whether MC is present when the characters receive the pictures, so I included both! I only did the bros but I might be willing to do the rest upon request!

the brothers react to MC giving them an album of boudoir photos

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: suggestive but that's about it, nothing explicit

Lucifer

When you're with him, Lucifer is calm and courteous, but with a flare of arrogance. Of course you would give him such a special gift. It's only natural that you would trust such intimacies to him.

He asks you if you're trying to tell him something. Has he perhaps been neglecting you, MC? Did you give him this so that he wouldn't be able to help himself? He's onto you.

No matter your reason, he can't look through too many of the pictures before wanting the real thing that's sitting right next to him. Tell him you still have some of that lingerie in your possession. Especially if you happen to have some in his colors.

If you aren't with him, he's going to be a lot less arrogant in general. He will find you later, make no mistake. But he's honestly so touched by your gift that he spends a lot of time looking through the album, simply admiring you.

Mammon

Mammon is freaking out no matter where you are the time. If you're with him, it's definitely a lot worse. Blushing profusely. Opens the album then slams it shut because he can't handle looking at it for very long.

You can't help but giggle at his reaction and then it's all stop laughin' at him MC!! You'll need to take his hands or maybe kiss his cheek, let him know that you genuinely just wanted to give him a nice gift, you aren't trying to tease him or anything.

Ask him if he likes it. You'll get a serious response. Calms down enough to say 'course he likes it. Likes it so much, he suddenly can't keep his hands off you.

If you aren't with him at the time, he buries it under his pillow or otherwise hides it because this is now one of his treasures and nobody gets to see it but him!

Leviathan

Levi is another one who'd be a blushing mess no matter what, but if you're there at the time, he might retreat to his room and not let you in. He needs that barrier between you because if he sees you right now, his heart will explode.

He'll let you back in eventually, but it might be a minute. He needs to calm down. Are you trying to kill him, MC?! Even when he does let you in, he can't look at you directly. He's probably covering his face with his hands.

Reassure him that you gave these photos to him because you trust him with them. They're personal, intimate, and you want him to be close to you. He's going to calm down the more you talk to him. Pull his hands away from his face and when he sees the sincerity in your eyes, it flips a switch. Might even slip into demon form just to wrap his tail around you possessively.

If you're not with him at the time, he's going to need to take care of that raging boner of his right away. He won't be able to focus on anything else until he does. He's so embarrassed, he has to watch several episodes of Ruri Hana to recalibrate.

Satan

He will try to keep his expression unreadable. He's not having any over the top reactions, but as he flips through the photos, he keeps getting redder and redder. You're sitting right next to him, how can he not react? At some point, he has to close the album because he feels like he's looking at something he shouldn't.

Satan is quiet about how flustered he is, but he's having a hard time looking at you. He tries to say something and incomprehensible lines about how beautiful you are fall from his lips. He sounds like a broken record of spoken word poetry or perhaps a very drunk beat poet.

Recovers himself after a minute. As soon as he's composed, you're in his arms. You knew what this would do to him, didn't you, MC? You'll find yourself pressed up against the nearest wall in moments.

If you're not with him, Satan will tuck your album into a stack of his other books. He thinks it's well hidden there - in plain sight. But he's hyper aware of it. Keeps coming back to look at it. Ends up having to put it on the bottom of a stack behind a different stack to make it more difficult to get to.

Asmodeus

Thrilled. Absolutely thrilled in every way. Oh, wow, MC, you look amazing. He's breathless. He's entranced. He's even blushing because he knows what it means that you've given these to him. He's so in love with you, he can't stand it.

Asks you about everything you may be wearing. Comments on the skill of the photographer. Tells you that next time, you should do one together. He has so many ideas. He wants to do one where all you're wearing is jewelry - bright and sparkling, just like your soul.

Covers you in kisses. He's not shy about how this is making him feel, how much he wants you. He just wants to see your beautiful figure here and now in real life, MC! Won't you let him worship you?

If you're not with him, he will find you immediately so he can say all of the things he needs to say in that moment. You can't leave him alone with all these feelings, both physical and emotional. He brings them all to you without hesitating.

Beelzebub

It might take him a minute to understand exactly what he's looking at, mostly because he's never even heard of this. He doesn't know what a boudoir photo shoot is, so you might have to explain it to him. Once he understands, he starts lightly blushing as he looks through them. His expression is serious because he's beginning to see just how special this is.

Honestly surprised that you would give him something so intimate. He's touched. He's going to hug it to himself and look at you with tears in his eyes because he can't believe how lucky he is.

Give him another couple minutes to look through them and then he's having different feelings. He's not sure if he can hold back, MC. Tell him it's okay, that you don't want him to, and you'll find yourself on your back on his bed in zero seconds flat. You're quickly reminded why he's the Avatar of Gluttony.

If you're not with him at the time, he will figure things out on his own, though he'll have a plethora of questions for you later. He keeps it close to him at all times until you answer them because he knows one thing for sure - he doesn't want anyone else seeing these.

Belphegor

Oh, he sees what you're playing at. Trying to fluster him, are you, MC? Trying to rile him up? Are you sure you can handle him when you do that? He's so wound up by the gift he can't act normal about it. He's actually very touched by it, but he's not sure how to deal with the feelings, so he comes on too strong.

You laugh because to you, this is expected. You understand that this is Belphie's way of dealing with his own shyness. You respond by meeting him with just as much intensity. It's all kisses and touching and fumbling in the dark.

It's only later, when both of you are calm, when you're nestled in his arms, that he admits to you how much it means to him. That he tells you how he'll cherish the album you gave him. That he says he's stunned by how gorgeous you are, even more brilliant that the stars in the sky.

If you aren't with him at the time, you'll be dealing with a petulant but horny demon later on. He's going to be annoyed at you for leaving it for him and then not being there when it inevitably turns him on. Just as possessive as his brothers, he hides it in the attic where no one is likely to find it.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#I'm so mad they removed yellow from the Tumblr font color options #now I gotta go into the HTML and do Mammon's manually myself #anyway I love this prompt #and I was inspired to do the brothers #I haven't done headcanons in a while so this was fun #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #misc naughty times #oopsiedaisymae #cc mutuals #misc writes

[warnadudenexttime]

thinking of

its right after svs ok-

and logan is upset that he didnt get to have a mock courtroom moment where he got to play lawyer and show off how smart he is

so he drags Virgil to the mind palace courtroom cause he's the only one who he could see arguing/debating against since my negative thinking- yk and obvs I don’t think he’d wanna see Janus at that time lol

and Logan, he’s like putting HKDSAHK his whole self into it, because he’s into this kinda thing like it’s fun to him! And also he wants to prove himself in a way, like, the only reason I wasn’t called was because clearly I’d be too hard of an opponent!

and Virgil is over like here, playing prosecutor: yeahhh true, your honor, this lawyer is just toooo good- guess he wins! can i go home now-

Logan: Well :( it's not fun if you don’t try- but if you really want to you can leave I suppose.

and Virgil kinda feels bad for Logan considering he got thrown in the back and wasn’t even brought into the discussion in the first place so he stays (totally not because also he doesn’t wanna see Logan sad)

and so *ugh* he triessss

and Virgil ends up getting into it, having fun and arguing with Logan and getting to play up into the lawyer drama. And by the end of it, both of them feel happy esp Logan who is more content about the situation now.

So by the end it’s like-

“Mmm just as I suspected, I would have definitely won. Clearly I would have been too smart of an opponent for him to best."

“Good job, Nerd, tell em’. I’m sure you would have.”

#sanders sides #ashley rambles #virgil sanders #logan sanders #analogical

[foreverppl]

Moodboard for Jinnah Beatty (they/she), lead singer of ethereal goth band Mayday Malady.

@infamous-if

Playlist

#romancing august I think but we’ll see what oriana is saying when the updated demo comes out hehe #some quick facts: #they usually go by their last name #her goal with her style is to be constantly mistaken for a beautiful ghost #lots of long skirts/dresses + layers. gossamer looking fabric etc. only ever wears black or white #on stage she’s also usually wearing a mourning veil bc of course she is #half of her love of music comes from the spectacle of it. like being able to construct a persona and exist in it for a little while #like playing make believe #they make a lot of their own clothes. if they weren’t doing music they’d definitely be doing something in fashion. #she deeply deeply hates being misunderstood or having her words/actions be twisted so she’s like pulling her hair out rn lmao #the band’s songs are pretty high usually so she always secretly finds it funny when fans try to sing along and are off key or something lol #the only tattoo they have is seven’s initials and she doesn’t really plan on getting any others #they’re hesitant abt being a positioned as the leader bc sometimes she has issues with reeling in her emotions #and responding reasonably in the moment. #anyway she can’t relate to the loser mc allegations she’s the coolest mf on the scene tbh #but I am sorta… scared for them. #on account of the horrors that are yet to come #bc truthfully they don’t know any coping mechanisms that aren’t just ‘ignore it until it goes away’ lmao #one of the things she is currently ignoring to the best of their ability is seven #if: infamous #mb #mc: jinnah beatty (infamous)

[tomurakii]

Dude I know I'm deep into my Gale obsession when seeing people's dumbshit takes actually makes me angry. Someone on instagram called him easy and a gold digger??? How do you live with yourself.

#had to turn off my phone and sit with my thoughts for a sec after that one #like what the FUCK do you mean #I just don't understand how people think GALE is the 'sleazy' one. and they're always the Astarion simps lol #like Gale. a fuckboy. GALE. who is so fucking dedicated and loving and poetic and straightforward #compared to Astarion who ACTIVELY. CANONICALLY. USES SEX TO MANIPULATE THE PLAYER. and he has his reasons for that #but between the two you're saying GALE is sleazy??? #or easy? when the only way to trigger his romance is if you initiate in the weave scene and reciprocate his flirting in the shadow curse #like he straight does not come on to you at all. if you heard the narrator say the moment is intimate and them imagined a “romantic walk” or #“kissing him passionately” and thought that was the platonic route then buddy it is definitely you with A Problem not him #anyway #bg3 #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate #baldurs gate

[angelsdean]

seeing a post that gets some things right (interesting complex john thoughts) but other parts dead wrong (bad dean takes) has me like *eye twitch*

#reducing a complicated plot to dean hates all monsters and thinks every monster needs to be killed is um. first of all not even canon #do i need to bring out all the posts abt dean's monster ethics and how he thinks a monster is someone who hurts / kills innocent ppl #and that definition includes humans who do monstrous things too (a theme explored in multiple episodes in s1 !!!!) #but anyways. no he did not think jack should be killed bc he was ~not human~ he thought jack was a Dangerous supernatural being #since ya know. he Was. literally thee most powerful being after god / amara. and they had no idea what he might do. he was not their Baby #or their Kid yet. he was a stranger. a strange new supernatural being that they might have to stop. #s12 finale literally leaves off on a cliffhanger positioning jack to potentially be the new 'Big Bad' #so he's a stranger AND the son of lucifer (they had no idea how that would affect jack yet) AND he seemingly brainwashed cas and kelly #bc remember cas was all about Free Will and Choice and Fuck Heaven / Paradise / Peace #and then suddenly he's going against his core beliefs talking abt paradise on earth and jack needing to fulfill his Destiny like ??? #i'd be sus af too if i were dean #dean had no reason to trust jack right off the bat. 'oh but he should've trusted him bc cas did' ok and cas is dead now so ?? #then there's the soulless jack stuff which is a whole other complicated beast. and dean was not the only one trying to stop jack then eithe #but anyways. no you cannot reduce dean's complex feelings abt jack to simply 'lol dean hates monsters and wants them all dead' #he doesn't. half his family and friends are literally monsters. anyways. #vic.txt

[fluffypotatey]

I wonder if there’s a part of Eurylochus that resents Polites

#because like #out of everyone in the crew that WE know of in epic Polites is the only one that Ody actually listens to and follows through #not saying Ody doesn’t listen to Eurylochus bc he does and E is the second hand man for a reason #but Eurylochus is definitely more prone to violence & doubt compared to Polites which is why Ody even considers P’s option of diplomacy mor #tbh i don’t think E even minded in the past bc P was literally the whole crew’s impulse control and moral compass (in the context of epic) #bc out of everyone P was the only one who still thought to approach the unknown with open arms #sure it’s naive especially in the world they live in #but also they can’t help but be drawn to the option bc above all humans crave connection through community rather than war #(but that’s my own opinion leaking out—this whole post is my opinion lol) #but then Polites dies and now all Eurylochus sees is the fact that Polites was WRONG & yet he watches as Ody continues to live by P’s code #he watches as Ody leaves them to ask a god for help (after Athena abandoned them) #he watches as their consequences of mercy come back to bite them in the form of Poseidon #he watches and i wonder #epic the musical #eurylochus #epic the musical eurylochus

[bisonofyesterday]

I've been reading a lot of conspiracy theories lately for fun and it's wild, sure, a glimpse into the mind of an insane person, but honestly it does kinda get boring after a while once you recognize all of the tropes

It's a real thing that happens and it was a fear for me at first but now? I genuinely don't get how "conspiracy reading for fun" could act as a pipeline to being a conspiracy theorist, like are you stupid?? Were you already susceptible to this brand of thought??? Literally all of these are either odd interpretations of economics, wishful thinking, reboots of antisemitism, or just plain regular bullshit, and like it's really easy to see that, like all of this is dumb, people who believe this are dumb, it's absurd

Fantastic fiction though, these could be good books or games or movies, and like that's what they are and that's their primary audience, people who want to pretend they're the protagonist of a movie, of a grand plot, every bad thing doesn't just happen or are perpetrated some random disturbed people! It's an organized movement at the top of everything responsible for every bad thing ever to keep us in line! It can be a kind of anti-religion in that sense, malevolent gods are better than none

There HAS to be gods at the top of it all, who put ridiculous references to themselves in everything and monolithically control the entire world, because if no one is in control, then that'd be terrifying

#paraphrasing Captain Disillusion and Lemon Demon Spirit Phone here lol #Qanon is definitely the most recent and the most movie of these #especially in its ridiculousness. if there's a deep state. why would the fucking PRESIDENT be our number one bulwark against them??? #it's all insane bullshit lol #i also wanted to talk about how the Moon Landing can act as a gateway drug conspiracy theory but I didn't know how to bring it up 😔 #it's because literally the only way it could work is if everyone involved agreed to keep it a secret #and one of those parties was the Soviet Union who would've had EVERYTHING TO GAIN by leaking that the US had faked the Moon Landing #also its a GOOD THING to recognize tropes actually!! thats how you can recognize bullshit when someone tries to sell it to you #which is becoming more common in the US now than ever for some reason #also also this isn't to say that conspiracies in all forms don't exist. they absolutely can (COINTELPRO comes to mind) #it's very easy for a group of evil people to exist and do secret evil things. this includes everything from the government to the mafia #but those are small scale though. and you're trying to tell me that folks can do that GLOBALLY??? for HUNDREDS of YEARS????????? #the US government can't even agree with itself all the time. and you mean to tell me that there's a united global cabal in control of all??? #have you even SEEN the UN???? lmaooooooo #insert pearl steven universe quote here (you know the one) #bisonspeaks #conspiracy

[sysig]

What are some rare characters you love that you think people don’t draw or write about enough

Do Max and Dex count I love them and I feel like I'm approximately 80% of the Helix fandom rn lol

Doug Peterson and Russ Frushtick from Law Abiding Citizen - the fandom has gotten real quiet over time but I still love them so much ♥ There's a lot you can read into or leave silly with their dynamic, I still wholeheartedly recommend the emerge, transformed series as one of my favourite interpretations of Russ especially 💕

The Editor from Jazzpunk - he's just a silly little guy! It's honestly such a shame that he's only really in the last chapter, I would love to see him explored more, he's the worst ♪

Tatsumi Souichi from Koisuru Boukun - genuinely one of my all-time favourite characters, and The Only Good Tsundere as far as I'm concerned lol. I'm gonna write about him! I've got my fanfic and video essay sitting in my drafts, but like agh!! He's so interesting!!! So beautifully flawed - he's internally consistent which is my Favourite - and watching him grow and change while still being himself over literal years has been a truly unparalleled experience as a reader 💖

Luke Wigglebig and Florette from Pajama Sam: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet - I joked before about being the only person on the internet who ships them but like, I'm pretty sure that's actually true lol. Even just more fanart of them by themselves would make me happy, they're so cute!! Especially Luke, his design is adorable

And then probably a more well-known one but I haven't been following his fandom popularity lately haha, Fai D. Flowrite from Tsubasa - him, Nova, and Watanuki move in and out of being my CLAMP faves, though Fai is probably the most complex of the three of them. And he's a trash man! A garbage fire of a wizard ♥ I love him

#This also made me realize I didn't have a Jazzpunk link in my taglist over on Drabbles lol - fixed now! #And also that I apparently have a fairly wide margin for ''Characters who I want to see more of'' and ''Characters I want to make more of'' #How rare are we talking here 'cause uhhh #If you wanna get into fancharacters/OCs/etc. I have perhaps Too Many of those as well lol #That's literally the only reason Max and Dex are a strikethrough because otherwise 10000% #And y'already know about my big feelings towards many others - I wouldn't have a whole Vargas blog if not lol #I have other OC faves as well :D Cheerybot jumps out to me haha #As well as when smol shares her characters with me <3 #There was this one story that I was told by an artist as context for a commission and I was enthralled but never followed up on - a shame! #I ended up making a little extra art out of inspiration haha ♪ #Anyway lol - these are just the ones that immediately spring to mind since I've drawn them :D #I almost certainly have more who just haven't made it to my paper yet lol #Not enough girls in this list - tossing in Wendy (and Jennifer) from Rule of Rose as well ♥ #I could probably talk about several of these at even further length lol - I already have for some! #There's also specific dynamics I rarely see - my favourite rarepairs are probably Krillin/Vegeta(/Bulma/18) and Thranduil/Bilbo lol #There is too little appreciation for polyships!! So many of my faves have two hands!! #And to be fair Nova is probably rarer than Fai - there's definitely not enough fanfic about her dynamic with Hikaru! #I kept almost including other faves but I was like No Wait this about rare characters lol #I'm delighted to see all of my faves! But I would doubly so to see these get the love they deserve hehe <3 #Can you tell that I really enjoy ahem Interesting Personalities lol #All my faves are disasters I love them <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

I downloaded an app that I think is meant to be used for like, detailed food tracking or something, but I instead really just wanted something with this format (color coded calendar days) so I could put in one single simple entry a day to kind of rate my day overall (based on physical health symptoms).. which..... looking back over it for the new year since when I first started tracking.. 9 "good" days in about 9 months, so roughly one good day a month LOL...

#A neutral/yellow day is if I felt sick or had any symptoms (nausea. joint pains. headahces. etc.) #to a distracting degree for at least an hour or more at any point in the day - YET it was not so severe or so distracting #that i was completely unable to get anything done. An orange day is if I was so sick or felt so bad #that I completed absolutely nothing that day because my primary focus was basically spending the entire day on whatever #was wrong with me or recovering from that. And a green day is a day that - even if maybe i had a few aches or pains - I was never any #noticable or distracting amount of sick - PLUS - i also got a reasonable amount of things done. #If I don't feel very sick yet I also lack the energy or mental wellness to complete daily tasks then it still counts as a yellow day. #So I guess like.. Yellow is if health was ok but focus was bad OR focus was okay but health was distracting. Green is BOTH focus and #health were mostly okay for a majority of the day with no major setbacks. And Orange is zero focus whatsoever because health is too bad. #There are also 5 categories. the worst is a super dark red and then best is a super bright green but I don't like using them #You have to select a bright red (x_x) emoji face to classify your day as dark red. and I dont like the implication of a 'dead' person face #because of my ocd lmao... it makes me afraid it's some habringer of death (if I select it for that day then somehting terrible will happen #the next day or whatever lol) *** *** *** - so I never use that one. I also feel like the MOST extreme categories should be reserved for #super extreme circumstance like.. I would only do a dark red day if I was literally hospitlaized or something. And same with the bright #green days like.. that would imply I guess that i was both suuuuper productive ANd had basically no symptoms at all all day. like a #Very Very Good day. and I just think that's not even possible. no day ever goes by without me feeling at least a little sick or achey at #SOME point lol... A day with NO headahces or issues or etc would be.... wow... mythical occurence.. #I have definitely gotten worse as I got older but even at like 15 or 16 years old I used to take ibuprophen a ton (I dont anymore of course #for stomach reasons lol) and remember having various minor problems here and there I was bothered by a lot #AAANYWAY.. also I count 44 'bad' days ghb... that's losing like.. at least one entire month of time a year.. maybe this is why I have so mu #much trouble getting things done and finishing my projects. BUT thats the point and why I wanted to track that. to like.. see it all laid #out at the end of the year. Maybe I could even compare years. Even though I started late in 2023. It'd be interesting to have a #yearly record of how many good vs. bad vs. neutral days I had in any given year. #(app is called 'Moodflow' on android phones. in case anyone sees this and asks. though I cant vouch for it or any of the features or anythi #ng since.. again. i literally ONLY use the one single feature of rating calendar days. I look at nothing else on there. And I keep my data #off and phone in airplane mode basically at all times so I never get ads on apps. Sometimes i'll mention liking some puzzle game or somethi #and then someone else is like 'yeah i love it but OMG so many ads' and I'm just like.. yeagh.... not for me lol.. but sorry to you. that #sounds annoying certainly..) ANYWAY.. auuugh... a sea of yellow neutrality. better than a sea of orange though. so :'3c

[charliesinfern0]

my type is a character that i would like to see flustered

#ive been trying to figure out a common thread between all of my f/os and like there are definitely similarites #between a few groups of them #but nothing i think that they all have in common #but i think its just that if i would like to see them flustered (by me or one of my ocs specifically) then boom. f/o #and if they have a canon love interest then its even better bc then i get to see how they would act when flustered hehe ^_^ #ive never actually been jealous of any characters (canon or oc) when theyre shipped with my f/os #i mean except with matthew. get gideon away from him he's mine /its not that big a deal but yknow lol #im only jealous of other peoples art skills lol #i see super cute self ship art of my f/o and somebody's oc or s/i and im like #'RAHH THIS IS SO CUTE I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THAT T_T' #like i know i can draw but for some reason its really hard for me to draw or even come up with ideas for self ship art :'( #sigh but im trying!!!! #its just kind of a really weird constant art block and its really frustrating the more i think about it :/

[goldiipond]

at some point when i can gather my thoughts i would like to make an in-depth post (would probably end up being more of an essay honestly) about how tpn treats its characters of color because like. there's definitely a colorism problem with anime/manga in general and i think tpn has some really solid black and brown characters for a medium that is severely lacking in that department but there's also some things it handles poorly and it would be good to explore that i think

#skye's ramblings #idk i think about it a lot like. on one hand you have characters like don who is just. an absolutely wonderful character #never portrayed as overly aggressive and just a really emotional and sensitive person without being infantilized for those traits #the one time he DOES lash out in anger (a very reasonable reaction to the circumstances tht caused it) he's not demonized for it #my favorite character in the whole series after ray if you dont love him yuore wrong #meanwhile krone is an incredibly interesting and well-written character she suffers immensely from being drawn like a fucking caricature #like none of the other characters have this problem and demizu did realize that was shitty and draws her normally now but #it doesn't change the fact that those caricatures are still present in the escape arc and s1 (though the anime is better abt this) #and an especially bad impression considering she's the first significant black character to appear in the series #krone being drawn Like That is definitely the biggest flaw this series has #aside from that lke. phil is really good even if we dont see him much between the first and last arcs #i LOVED ayshe even if she deserved more development (and i wish she didn't have blond hair and blue eyes lol) #zack is a really great character and pepe is the only afro latino character ive ever seen in manga and i love him. also his design fucks #ANYWAY !! ANYWAY. 'i want to make a seperate in-depth post' [writes long tag rant] #saving my thoughts now. but i do have a lot of them

[theygender]

My gf and I have talked about hypothetically opening up our relationship at some point in the future which would make me very happy as a polyamorous person, but I just realized that if that actually happens and I have to go back out on the dating scene I'm gonna have some trouble bc now that I'm more outwardly butch people are gonna expect me to make the first move and I have never made a first move in my entire life

In all of my relationships but two the first move was made by the other person, and I wasn't even the person who made the first move in the other two. In the first one the girl chickened out on her plans to ask me out and then our mutual friend who didn't realize that that had happened outed her by asking me what I said afterwards, and in the second one me and the other person both went to the same friend on the same day to talk about our crushes on each other and then she made us talk about our feelings

I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and the first time she tried to ask me on a date she wanted to take me to the theater so she asked me if I had seen the new beauty & the beast movie and then instead of realizing that she was asking me on a date I said that I'd already seen it and gave her a negative review of the movie. And then when she asked me on a date again a few weeks later I had to ask to make sure it was a date when I got there 😭

...And that reminds me of another event in high school where a girl I liked took me to the mall and we walked around holding hands the entire time and then afterwards I had to get one of our mutual friends to ask her if it was supposed to be a date bc I was too nervous and also stupid 😭 Another girl that year asked me to skip class with her and told me that if I flashed my pretty smile at the teacher I could probably get away with it and I had to show the text to my friend to ask if she was flirting. I'm gonna die out there on my own 😭

#rambling #the friend i showed the message to was the same one i made ask the other girl if it was a date #and he didnt even answer he just raised his eyebrow and stared at me like 'really?' #god im just. remembering how stupid i was in high school now #there were two other crushes that i had who may have potentially liked me back and i may have even been told that by multiple people #but i was so deep in my self hatred and also stupid that i didnt think it was possible for them or anyone else to like me 😭 #they both were friends of mine and they eventually stopped talking to me completely and i couldnt figure out why #and now i hope its not bc they they thought i was leading them on. bc i wasnt. i was just a massive idiot #you have to explicitly tell me that youre interested in me or want to go on a date or whatever or im not gonna get it #and tbh. that didnt even always work #my first major crush in high school was on a girl who told me directly multiple times that she was into me #but i was even DEEPER in my self hatred at that time #(and also only just figuring out how social interaction worked bc she was helping my autistic ass learn) #so i just. assumed it was a joke. bc no one could have possibly been interested in me and definitely not such an amazing person #i guess at least i have a scrap of self confidence now and im brave enough to ask for clarification now #and if i specifically ask someone on a date at least i would know for sure its a date? #and it could either be lame or cute but i could ask for permission to kiss them. it worked for my gf #i cant interpret signals for shit 😭 #i dont even have a valid reason to be thinking about this right now lol its not like i have permission to date anyone else romantically yet #but ive been watching clone high with my gf and abe keeps misinterpreting joan directly saying that she wants him in increasingly dumb ways #and i just keep cringing bc i realized that that was me ahdjsksl.... #only difference is in my case it was never bc i was ignoring them for someone else. it was ALWAYS bc i was an idiot #literally i would be there pining for them and every attempt they made would go right over my head #you have to be morosexual and very persistent to date me 😭 or tell a mutual friend whos very persistent ig lol #i know we are All useless lesbians but i think i deserve a medal or smth #ill hang it on my corkboard next to the souvenir that one of my crushes who i didnt think liked me back got for me in high school #which was a plastic license plate that said 'babygirl' on it bc that was her nickname for me 😅 #god i really hope people didnt think i was leading them on. imagine someone thinking im a player flirting with a bunch of different girls #without ever making things official. when really if i found out for certain any of them were interested in me i would have died of shock 😭 #and if we WERE in fact flirting i wouldnt have realized it. i was just SO scared and SO stupid 😭😭😭

[elizabeth-dicewielder]

Big fan of when stories provide no justification/explanation for why main characters have unique, insanely powerful abilities. The writer(s) really just said “Well of course they can do that, they’re my specialist little character. It makes perfect sense.” And they’re right

#okay i made this in a joke form because i do find it funny #but like i unoronically think this is a good writing technique #like. sometimes people are just uniquely special for no reason #people with perfect pitch #people who can do insanely complicated math in their head #i know someone who can perfectly cut a card deck in half or thirds just by feel #sometimes things just don’t need an explanation! #and having your main character have this special ability for no apparent reason #really makes it clear WHY they’re the main character #like of course they’re the main character. they’re the only one who can do that. who else could the story possibly be about? #and it allows them to be obviously the main character without any kind of prophecy or clear-cut chosen one #there are definitely some cases where this does not work #like it works when the world has magic but only the main character can do a specific kind of magic #but it doesn’t work if they’re the only one in the world who has any magic #like. if you’re not gonna provide any explanation it has to be within reason imo #anyway #i wrote this about echo from dollhouse lol #but obviously it works for a lot of other characters too #nimona is a good example of this

[snekdood]

Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.

#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us #politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still #had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical) #and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so #i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was #*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was #filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously #something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it #im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe #i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin. #shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened #people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit? #idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and #apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least. #the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote #like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians #as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle #it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol. #all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks #my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from #like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs #imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne. #i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is #dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy #theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks #yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks???? #his willing cocks??????? #his fucking ass #and gaia FUCKING tv #all that dumb shit

[marshmellowtea]

Seeing your incorrect quotes make me think this takes place in an au where Lila failed to kill Tanya and Tanya is trying to get Lila and Will to be separate.

haha, it's kind of funny you say that, anon, cuz i actually did have a few au ideas based around that concept! idk if i ever talked about any of them on tumblr (i certainly never wrote them RIP. writing hard 😔) but i know i talked a bit about them on the discord, i should really look into making actual posts about them at some point since the fandom is active again. regardless, i hope you're enjoying the blog, i've been having fun running it again!

#who's lila #who's lila? #marshy gets asks #anonymous #i know i had more than this but for some reason the only au with this concept i can think of atm is the one where tanya and will were #childhood friends so when he gets taken over by lila tanya actually notices that he's changed and is able to escape the murder attempt #that one was definitely just on the discord though like i said i really should make a full post about it at some point lol #and i know i had others involving tanya trying to get lila away from will i just can't think of them rn #but yeah haha i guess it makes sense that's the vibe you'd get #it's certainly a concept i play around with a lot!