#...!!!! THAT IS A . HOT FROG !!! LOOK AT HIM GOO!!!

[jack-the-nibbler]

Delectable Specimen

Sneaking through the lair of an infamous mad scientist probably isn’t the best idea. Particularly if a few of his concoctions can make you too tasty to resist. It’s a frightening punishment...but will it be as terrifying the second time?

Fandom: Skylanders

Words: 2,551

When you took this mission, you hadn’t expected anything to go too terribly wrong. 

It looked simple enough. You and your Skylander companion just had to infiltrate Dr. Krankcase’s lair and sabotage his machinery to prevent another enchanted woods from being bulldozed and used to build more evil wooden minions. You hadn’t expected a sudden cloud of smog to send the airship you were on reeling, accidentally sending you tumbling off to the ground below.

Against common sense, you’d decided to trudge ahead instead of waiting for Camo to find you. Without a weapon or Skylander, you were forced to hide and run past any Chompies or Evilikin that patrolled the area. A lot of wandering later, you stumbled upon an imposing mill. Again, against your better judgment, you chose to slip inside through a side door.

You were immediately smacked with the oppressive smell of the workshop. Vats and containers of bubbling goo were everywhere, smelling like a foul mixture of rancid milk, vomit, and decade-old cheese. You fanned away the fumes, cautiously walking in. Maybe there was a safe place you could stay until your Skylander showed up.

That proved to be your biggest mistake. As you carefully weaved around open, caustic cauldrons, there was a distant tapping. It sounded closer the further you walked. Was some Evilikin waiting to get the drop on you? The clicking suddenly sped up, like someone tapping their foot. It finally brought your attention to a figure on ledge above, illuminated by a glass container of glowing goo.

Perched right above you was the very inventor you’d been sent to take down, Dr. Krankcase. His green, frog-like face was twisted into a sharp-toothed smirk, a tall, red top hat adding to his surprisingly imposing stature. Your eyes were drawn to his most defining feature: five mechanical, wooden spider legs that made up his lower half. That, and the goo gun he had aimed right at you.

“I had a hunch we’d get some uninvited guests, but a genuine Portal Master? Now that’s a real prize!” He exclaimed. “Just come with me, and you won’t get hurt!” Fat chance at that-you ran for it, prompting him to open fire. Green goo splattered around your feet, trying to trap or slow you. Cringing, you shook the gunk off before diving under a table, just out of sight.

Krankcase jumped down, immediately going on the hunt. Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him inspect the area. Mercifully, he didn’t check under the table. You crawled out, still trembling from how close that had been. You had to find somewhere better to hide. But as you moved to stand, you bumped the slightly rickety table. A small, haphazardly placed cauldron wobbled on its stand before tipping.

You cried out as the pot fell on you, splashing you with minty-green colored goo. It thankfully wasn’t very hot, but you had to get this stuff off. Unfortunately, the noise had been more than enough to alert Dr. Krankcase to your location. There was nowhere to run as he came charging back at breakneck speed.

“There you are!” Krankcase exclaimed, only to freeze when he saw you covered in goo. “Wait, what did you do?!” He ran at you, closing the distance in seconds. Your stomach dropped, ignoring how his expression had swiftly gone from malicious to panicked.

“Stay away from me!” You yelled, backing away from him. But your two legs had no hope of outrunning his five mechanical ones, and within moments the mad doctor had you in his grasp. You tried to struggle away, but he kept grabbing you and trying to clean you off with a ragged towel.

“Stop fighting! Don’t you get it??” he said. “I just cooked up that batch today! It’s a brand new, untested mix! Not even I have any idea what effects it’ll have!”

Your blood ran cold at that. If he didn’t know what that concoction was capable of, then what would happen to you? What kind of toxins were seeping into your body? Were you going to turn into some kind of horrible mutant? You stared up at Krankcase with wide eyes…was your sight failing, or was he always that tall? Actually, his hands grasped more of your body.

“W-Wait, are you getting bigger?” you asked. The doctor looked over you, nervously chewing his thumb for a moment.

“On the contrary, my dear…you appear to be getting smaller.” he said. As you processed this, you shrank down to the size of a mouse. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so vulnerable. The doctor placed you on the table, needing a moment to collect himself.

You curled up on the wooden surface, covering your face. It would be one thing if you’d just been accidentally shrunken down. But you were completely at the mercy of a Doom Raider, one of the most notorious villains in Skylands. Yes, he was admittedly more polite than the others, but there were still countless things he could do to you. All you could do was hope that Camo would find you before the doctor decided to do something worse than hold you captive.

Meanwhile Dr. Krankcase was just as frazzled as you were. Not only was a Skylander likely charging through his workshop, but he was stuck with their shrunken Portal Master. Though the way he saw it, you deserved it for breaking into his workshop and threatening to wreck his whole operation, not to mention tipping over a vat of his precious goo. Perhaps he could just keep you in a jar or box for now. You’d be a good bargaining chip against the Skylanders…

That’s when a small, peculiar smell hit him. It was fresh and sweet; a sharp contrast to the caustic chemicals and reeking mixes he constantly worked with. Was that a side effect of the goo? He had to admit, it made you smell rather…appetizing. A smirk slowly crept onto his face. Slight change of plans, he thought, leaning down to take another whiff of you.

You were so busy sulking that you barely noticed Krankcase leaning in closer. He started sniffing you, blasting you with his warm breath. It felt weird, but oddly kind of nice. The warmth suddenly intensified, before something wet and slimy laved up your back. When you looked back, his pink tongue slipped up along your front, drenching you in drool.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” you yelled. Dr. Krankcase only chuckled, giving you another slimy lick.

“Just giving you a taste, for curiosity’s sake,” he said. “I think I know just what to do with you.” That hungry glint in his eyes, paired with that toothy smirk and a lick of his lips had dread pooling in your stomach. He was just trying to scare you, wasn’t he? But he was reaching for you now, the same way you’d grab for a snack. “Now just hold still. This won’t hurt a bit!”

You screamed and tried to run, but there was nowhere to go. He grabbed you with zero effort, lifting you to a dangerous height from your perspective. He was going to eat you! You kicked and slammed your fist against his leather glove; efforts that were barely noticed.

“No, no, you can’t do this! The Skylanders will come beat you to a pulp and save me!” you cried.

“Oh, I’m aware. I just figured this is the best place I could keep you! Not to mention a fitting way to punish a meddling Portal Master!” he exclaimed. He gave you a few more licks before dangling you above his mouth. “Now then, down the hatch!”

You screamed as he dropped you, a part of you fearing that you’d take a deadly fall to the floor. Instead you landed on his soft tongue, barely managing not to slide towards his throat. This relief was short-lived; you were already wet with saliva, and Krankcase’s tongue was already wrapping around you, making sure you were nice and coated for the trip down.

You whimpered, softly begging him not to swallow, but you knew it was pointless. These villains were all the same, after all. Those few minutes of being tasted felt like hours; being swallowed was almost welcome. But as he tilted his head back, you scrambled to get a grip on something, anything. You didn’t want to be a mad scientist’s snack!

“K-Krankcase, please have mercy just this once!” But he merely chuckled, a flick of his tongue sending you into his throat. In a last ditch effort to be spit out, you managed to grab onto his uvula. Krankcase coughed, and for a moment there was a bit of hope. The tab of flesh was slippery, though; all it took was a single, strong gulp to send you to his belly.

It was difficult to struggle, given how the gullet muscles hugged you. The soft, slick surface had no trouble pushing you deeper into his body. After what felt like an eternity of being squeezed downwards, you slid down into the fleshy pouch of his stomach. The pink walls had a light green glow, keeping you from being in complete darkness.A sigh of satisfaction came from above.

“Nice try, Portal Master, you almost had me! If it’s any consolation, you were absolutely delicious.” Krankcase patted his gut and cackled. You gritted your teeth, kicking a nearby wall. There wasn’t much impact, given how slippery the stomach lining was, but you didn’t care. You just kept kicking and struggling with all your might, hoping to make your captor sick. This earned you another laugh from above. “Woah, easy down there! That tickles!” he said.

There was a slight pressure from outside, and it took you a moment to realize that he was rubbing his belly. You really were just a snack to Krankcase, weren’t you? Just a pesky intruder reduced to a tasty morsel. To make matters worse, Camo had no idea where you were. You could be partially or even completely digested by the time the plant dragon showed up. How would he react to Krankcase gloating about your slimy fate? Completely defeated, you laid along the curve of his stomach and wept.

Dr. Krankcase gave a small burp, licking the last of your taste from his lips. He’d admittedly never given much thought to eating people-that was something a couple of his fellow Doom Raiders preferred-but it was more fun than he’d thought! He’d have to do this again sometime! Just as he was about to get back to work, Krankcase faintly heard you crying. Serves you right…but why did he feel just a little bad? He tried to ignore it, but you just kept sobbing in anticipation of a gruesome end.

“Hey…come on, don’t cry,” he said. “You’ll be fine, I promise. I know I’m a pretty bad guy, but I’m not that cruel.” You brought yourself to look up, wiping tears and slime from your face. You really didn’t want to believe him. What if he was trying to give you false hope? He did sound genuine, though. You had no choice but to settle in, feeling him pat his stomach. “There we go. Now sit tight and let the doctor do his work.” With that, he scuttled off back into the depths of the mill.

It was humiliating, really, having to sit in a villain’s gut while he got to work plotting more destruction. At least it wasn’t dark in there. Plus there was the hope that maybe he wasn’t lying about you being safe. At the moment all you could really do was get comfortable and wait. Admittedly not too hard given how cushy his gut was…even with the smell of pickles.

Ultimately Krankcase would keep his word. You were trapped in his gut for quite some time, but not a bit of you melted. The eventual fight with Camo did throw you around, but the soft lining of the doctor’s gut kept you from taking much damage. Soon, with him and his machinery damaged, Krankcase had no choice but to reluctantly cough you up.

You shivered in Camo’s hold, the dragon’s red eyes wide in shock-and some disgust from the slime you were covered in. He decided against cracking any jokes at your expense, given how shaken you were. Instead he wiped you off as best he could before swallowing you down. You settled into his leafy-feeling stomach, soothed by the familiarity. There was certain to be a spell that could return you to normal size at the academy, but this experience would stick with you…

~

A couple years had passed, and your imprisonment in the mad doctor’s belly had mostly become a distant memory. Since then, a few of the apprehended villains had been given a chance to reform and go on to train the next generation of Skylanders. Dr. Krankcase had been one of them, which admittedly made you a little nervous. Even after his rehabilitation ended, there was still a degree of awkwardness between you both.

It was well into the night by now. You probably should have been getting ready for bed, but you just sat at your desk with a book. Minutes ticked by as you did your best to fight off the slowly growing drowsiness. Suddenly, the familiar clicking of wooden spider legs made you perk up. Krankcase slowly opened the door, smiling as he let himself in.

“Ah, there you are. Guess I’m not the only one who can’t afford to sleep around here.” he said, crawling up to your side. “I hope you’ve been alright, Portal Master.” That brought a small smile to your face.

“I’m doing just fine, Doc.” you said. There was a nervousness in his stance that you couldn’t exactly place. Like he was steeling himself to deliver some bad news.

“Hey…you remember that little incident, right?” he asked. Ah yes…you could never truly forget, especially whenever he looked even a little peckish.

“Yeah, that was terrifying.” you said. He’d already apologized for it a while back, and you really didn’t hold it against him too much. It made you wonder why he was bringing it up again, so nervously too. Unless…he’d heard about how some of the Skylanders tended to swallow you to protect you, or even just for the hell of it. You looked up at him, and the anxious grin he wore said everything.

“Yeah, about that…I did have the recipe written down, and managed to concoct a growth mix to go with it. Both perfectly harmless, I assure you.” Krankcase said, rolling a vial over to you. You picked up the vial, looking at the minty green goo contained inside. It was perfectly clear what he wanted. You remembered the fear…but also how soft and warm it was inside. And it’s not like you weren’t used to being swallowed. Maybe…it wouldn’t be so bad now? The doctor’s legs fidgeted as he took a breath.

“So…you wanna try it again?”

Krankcase would end up claiming your bed that night. After all, you didn’t exactly need it when you were tucked into the warm, slimy folds of his softly gurgling gut. You slept soundly that night, fully trusting him to keep you safe now.

#male pred #reader prey #pov vore #vore writing #soft vore #safe vore #nonfatal vore #unwilling prey #fearplay #this was so much fucking longer than intended #but yeah I couldn't help myself haha #Imma just...go lay down now... #unwilling to willing ig #Vorelanders

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Pedantic, chapter five - a Malevolent AU

Arthur Lester is the best IT architect in the world, and the reason Carcosa, Inc. has its fingers in every pie. Government, medical, everyone in the world uses its systems. Arthur is also going blind and nearly gives up… until a deeply annoying cybersecurity programmer prods him into trying something new.

Chapter Five: Arthur ran.

AO3

----------

Doe was surprisingly easy to talk to.

Arthur found himself doing it at random times. “I can’t believe he signed me up for the fitness package! What the fuck!”

That asshole. Wanting you healthy. How dare he.

“That should be a question mark, you prick,” said Arthur.

Pedantic.

“No, that’s you,” Arthur huffed, clinging to the side of the pool.

“Now, Mister Lester,” beamed the physical therapist from hell, “you’re not done laps yet!”

“I’m sending godsdamned Kayne poison frogs for Christmas!” Arthur cried, and continued swimming while John laughed at him.

#

Yeah, can’t compare to my dinner, John said in response to the stunning lobster tail, corn succotash, and heirloom brown rice creation Arthur was eating. This was followed by what looked like mushy o-shaped noodles in a glutinous red goo, vaguely in the shape of a can.

Arthur choked and had to take a moment to reply. “Fuck, Doe, you’re paid better than that.”

Fuck, Lester, I like this stuff. Go fuck yourself.

Instead, Arthur took a picture of himself, mouth open, forkful of lobster poised and ready to chomp.

There was silence for a long moment.

Arthur chewed. Swallowed. “Choke on your pasta, Doe?”

Did you mean to send me that?

Arthur blinked. He squinted at his screen. “Uh. Why?”

It was hot.

Wow, okay. He could not see that. “Why?” Arthur said again, baffled.

The way you’re looking at the camera, intense and hungry and challenging. Your mouth, lips already reddened from eating. I can’t see what you’re about to eat, either—since I assume that’s what was going on—so it’s just… inviting.

“Oh.” Arthur had no idea how to respond to that. “I’ve never sent that kind of picture before.”

Well, you did a bang-up job for your first one.

Arthur’s face continued feeling hot as he finished his dinner and never came up with a good reply.

#

John sent four cat pictures in a row, and they told a story.

Photo one: Guy the cat peeks over the top of the counter. Photo two: Guy the cat is blurred in motion as she leaps for the countertop. Photo three: Guy looks moderately startled as the papers she landed on slide due to her inertia. Photo four: One paw and the tail of Guy the cat are visible as she falls over the other side of the counter, having pulled everything that was on it down with her.

So that’s how my day is going, said John.

Arthur laughed and laughed. Maybe he just hadn’t socialized enough in a while, but this little misadventure—including its disastrous end—was the funniest thing he could think of right now. “She all right? You all right?” he asked finally.

Yeah, yeah. She pulled my sandwich down, but free turkey for her, I guess.

That had not been conveyed in the photos. Arthur laughed again.

Aw, shut up, said John. Let’s get to phase two already.

“Sure,” said Arthur, disappointed they already had to get to work.

#

Arthur extended his stay. He was beginning to enjoy swimming laps—the control of it, the regularity, the focus required—and John was doing amazing work translating his design into reality.

It wasn’t the same as coding himself. It wasn’t; but it was still good, and he didn’t feel the terrible, itchy mental stuttering he did when not creating.

This could work. This… could really work. And the program they were creating…

This would save lives. This would enable wise decisions for the future—and for countries with greedy insurance, the TOS prevented this information being shared.

It’s not like all the details weren't already out there, anyway. All of it was publicly accessible. Anyone could have done what he and John were doing… if they knew how.

This personal database—connected to a highly secure and personal virtual server—would use every single record of every single known ancestor, including photographs with identifiable medical clues, to help predict what an individual might go through, genetically—and if he was right, it would be 98% accurate.

The results were fully owned by the individual. Not easily accessible by insurance, doctors, employers, or anyone else. It would, he hoped, help prepare people like him. He also knew it could be misused in the wrong hands. So… it would stay in his.

John’s. Technically. But his.

Nobody had to use it who didn’t want to, and any employer or insurance who tried would be open to such lawsuits they’d never try again.

It was good. It was useful. It felt right.

I think we’re ready.

Arthur took a deep breath. The sunset had turned the Hudson’s black sparkles slightly red, a portentous color, and he felt ready. “Do it.”

A link appeared in his feed.

He went through the process. Signed up. Had Cassilda read both the long-form TOS (listening so carefully for all legal wording—this was fucking specific), and ensuring the shortened TOS summary was clear and missed no pertinent details and provided no “out” for the unscrupulous.

John sent numerous texts explaining exactly how he’d secured all data.

So far, so good. Arthur finished signup and provided his personal information.

Within minutes, Arthur saw what he knew. Then, he saw what he didn’t know.

Tie-in information from unnamed DNA relatives. Information about how these unknown relatives had responded to space travel. Information how relatives he didn’t know he had responded to living under the sea or in the desert or high in mountains and rarefied air. Incredible.

Well?

“It fucking worked. Okay, hold on.” He logged in as administrator to see how it looked from the other side. Beautifully anonymized. Wow. “Did we do it?” whispered Arthur as the sun finally set. “Really?”

Tested successfully on systems as old as Play 1.3 and as new as 14 beta. I also signed up several times with slightly different info, but the same ancestry, and got the same results.

John have to have multiple identities to pull that off. Multiple social security numbers. Arthur was reminded the man was genuinely dangerous. “That’s incredible.” He poked around.

All the other “users” were anonymized, too. As a simple admin, he couldn’t see it.

What had John put into the system? If Arthur went into the back end now, Doe would see it. He could wait. Yes. “Share features?”

The proper warnings came up when I tried to share with you.

“Which you obviously didn’t go through with.”

Nope.

“You owe me something personal.”

A beat.

My connections are family. High up in the company.

Ooh! “Come on, Doe. Give me more than that.”

Fine. Kayne is my uncle.

Arthur spit out his drink. “WHAT?”

I promise you I hate him more than you.

“He’s your uncle?”

Step uncle. The worst.

Somehow, this made Arthur consider the fact that Kayne had family, which made him a human being, which made him (somehow) a sexual being, and Arthur groaned.

You okay? The text that just came through was weird.

Cassilda sent his groan? “What was it?”

Ooooaaaauuaaauaaah.

The program didn’t do any better reading it back.

Arthur laughed. “Oh, what the hell?”

He’s worth that response, believe me.

“So he’s why you have the job.”

No. He’s just a connection.

And Arthur lost his mind. “Am I really smart to trust you?” slipped out.

Yes.

The breaths between replies seemed too long. “Why?”

Because I’m on your side. I meant everything I said.

“I want to believe you.” He didn’t say the weight in his chest was terrible. He wanted John as a friend. He didn’t want the bad thing to be real. He feared what he might have entrusted, if John might betray him. A million fears.

How can I prove it to you?

“Tell me where you were until a year ago.”

Nowhere.

“Come on, Doe.”

Nowhere. I mean it. I was nobody, doing nothing. All of this has been a surprise to everyone.

“That makes no sense. You’re too knowledgeable. You didn’t just… absorb decades of information in a month.”

No, I already had the information. I mean… nobody knew it mattered that I did. I was found, like you.

“But I was found because I entered a contest.”

No, you were found because they were looking.

“What did you do that they found you?”

I was looking for more information. I ended up breaking into Carcosa’s systems because I wanted the data.

Oh, bullshit. "That didn’t happen.”

It did.

Bullshit! “Do you really think I don’t have monitoring set up? I’d have known.”

I circumvented it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck... “How?” Arthur demanded.

John told him.

Told him exactly how he exploited an issue Arthur hadn’t known existed, tweaked loopholes he'd never considered, dug up coding wormholes that just felt unfair, and Arthur knew it was the truth.

He felt… sick. No: he felt humiliated. “And you still wanted to help me after that?” he said, sounding angry, suddenly furious that the anger didn’t get translated. "I'm that easy to get around, all my hard work, all my fucking life's work, just like pushing open a door for you, is it?"

Don't be stupid. It wasn't easy. And yes, of course I want to help you. Your mind is

“Is what?” Nothing. “Is what?”

Beautiful.

Arthur wiped his eyes. Confused didn’t cover it. “You don’t know my mind. You don’t know me.”

I do. I speak your language. This program is my love letter to you, in your tongue.

Stunned.

Arthur was stunned.

Spooked.

Arthur was spooked.

Arthur did not know what to say.

Panicked.

Arthur freaked out.

Arthur.

“Cassdila, block…” Could he do it? Could he? No. Fuck. “No. Cassilda, silence all notifications from John Doe.”

Done, Arthur.

He couldn't stay still. Couldn't stay in sight of the home of the man who'd... done whatever this was, unraveled his supposedly brilliant code like a knot in yarn and then made him a 'love letter.' Arthur checked out that night and bought his own ticket home, and even after they’d given him the drug so he would sleep through the dangerously interdimensional travel, he still felt like he was running.

--------

CHAPTER SIX

Notes:

Guy was my spouse’s Siamese when we married, and yeah, she was a really special kitty.

#john x arthur #arthur x john #malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent fic #malevolent fanfic #john doe malevolent #arthur lester #kayne malevolent #malevolent au #pedantic fic

[suoyou]

[wip] 凤凰涅槃; phoenix rising

incomplete wip. 9034 words, rated t.

wangxian court intrigue + wuxia + wingfic au, in which wwx is the lost phoenix and lwj is royal scholar. this is actually a collection of scattered scenes through the first act of the fic!

dwell too long in the fire and even the phoenix will burn.

Wei Wuxian holds a rotting mango in his hand. 

Pungent, slippery as an oiled wok and twice as dangerous, it’s just a few days too old for optimal flavor—but he does not plan to eat it. No, he’s going to throw it. 

A well-aimed piece of fruit and the right audience and a stomach just empty enough that the metallic edge of hunger has begun to bite makes for a good show. Wei Wuxian teeters like a gargoyle on the upturn of a roof, all his weight balanced in a crouch, waiting for the fishmonger to pass by beneath him. The market teems with citizens who have come early to buy the freshest kills and produce that the morning has to offer, the smell of frying jianbing wafts in thick curls up to Wei Wuxian’s perch. His belly rumbles. His last meal had been during sunrise the day before. 

“Fresh fish!” shouts the fishmonger. His mule’s head bobs dark and feisty as it tugs his cart along. Behind them, their wagon is crammed with quivering tubs full of water and writhing fish. “Fresh from the docks this morning! Fresh caught! Carp and eel and shrimp! Killed and scaled and gutted if you ask! Fresh fish!”

Wei Wuxian rocks up onto the knobs of his knees. The tiled roof digs into his skin--what are you doing here, flightless bird? His weapon of choice bleeds a thin, honeyed line of juice from his wrist to his elbow. He takes aim. 

A little commotion in a crowded market goes a long way. One spooked mule, one fishmonger, and a wagon full of uncovered tubs of live catches? What could go wrong? The sun hammers on his back, asking him what he’s waiting for. The mule’s flanks are exposed around its saddle and harness. Wei Wuxian screws one eye shut and sticks the tip of his tongue between his lips as he raises his mango, and--

“I’ll bet my daughter!”

A disturbance rises above the cheerful twang of the market below. It comes from the gambler’s stall, tucked away by the liquor stand. What a smart, slimy placement. 

“Is this man crazy?”

“What kind of father are you?”

“How disgusting, to gamble with your daughter’s life!”

Wei Wuxian frowns. Below him, the fishmonger passes, and the crowd molds around his wagon like ants around a snail. A pustule of a man hunches over the gambler’s stall with a girl of no more than nine or ten in his grip as he snarls in the proprietor’s face. His clothes are stained and dirty, and his eyes are yellow with jaundice. Anger flares hot as a kicked hornet’s nest in Wei Wuxian’s belly, muting the hunger, when the drunkard yanks on his daughter so hard that she trips into the table. 

Without thinking, Wei Wuxian shouts, “Hey, you, ugly dog at the gambler’s table!”

Dozens of heads turn to stare. 

Wei Wuxian lobs the mango with all his might. 

It whistles over the street like a lumpy, bulbous pigeon, dripping as it goes. The man is too drunk, or too hungover to move out of the way--he simply watches, jaw slack, not seeming to realize that he’s in the way until it splatters him square in the face and explodes in a shower of golden muck. He howls, clawing at his skin, and in the process lets his daughter go. She falls because she’d been unbalanced, hard into the street on her elbows. Some of the mango carnage had splattered onto her. Orange-brown bits drip off her chin like fat, gummy tears. 

The drunkard points a trembling, furious finger at Wei Wuxian. “You--!” 

“Me? What about me? Worry about yourself first. Worry about your daughter!”

A small crowd has gathered to watch the spectacle--this man, covered in sticky mango goo and attracting flies, and this vagrant shaking with laughter on the roof. He is so close to the edge, yet balances in place without any unsteadiness, with the surety of someone who is always in high places. 

“You are a coward, staying on the roof! Get down here and fight me with your fists, like a man!” shouts the drunk. His daughter tugs on his sleeve behind him as the crowd thickens.

“A-die, A-die, let’s go--”

“Let go of me, you useless girl.” He shakes her off. “Good for nothing, waste of space. Not even good enough for gambling money.”

Wei Wuxian frowns. A hushed gasp races through the bodies below as he stands and tips from his perch on the roof, tumbling once before alighting in the street. His shoes stick to the pavement from the tack of juice. The man barely makes it up to his chin, and his skin is splotchy from alcoholism; his clothes are patches which means he had family members whose kindness he did not deserve at home. 

“What,” says Wei Wuxian, tucking his hands behind his back. He’s not above mango-throwing, but he’s not going to fight a man in front of his young daughter. Now that’s just bad manners. “You really want to fight me? Just take my advice, sir. Go home. Take your daughter and your money and buy some food, and go home. Don’t make me throw another mango at you. That was going to be my lunch.”

“I’m not scared of men like you. Arrogant and scornful, just looking for a fight! I ought to break your--”

Wei Wuxian intercepts the man’s fist before it can connect with his face.

He fights like a commoner would, crude and unpolished, with his thumb tucked inside his fingers. Rookie mistake. His eyes bulge like a frog stepped on as he tries to force his way through Wei Wuxian’s grip, face turning the color of puce as he fails comically. Wei Wuxian digs his nails into the back of the man’s hand, trembling with the effort of holding him in place, and then he shoves him back. 

The man goes sprawling in the street, and the crowd shuffles back, as if to avoid a particularly filthy swine. 

“A-die,” says his daughter, trying to help him up, but he swats at her. “A-die.”

“Go.”

Not without spitting at Wei Wuxian’s feet. He simply laughs, because it’s such a silly, juvenile thing, and then, like an infection clearing, the citizens around him scatter back into the day. 

Wei Wuxian claps his hands together, then wipes his palms on the seat of his robes. “You really ought not to entertain patrons who have clearly started to lose their control,” he says to the proprietor of the gambling stall. They wipe down the edges of their table with a dusty rag where the carnage of fruit clings. “Soon he will trade his whole family away for nothing but a nugget of gold.”

The proprietor scoffs. “And who are you?”

“Someone nice enough to clean his mess up. Sorry for this, by the way,” says Wei Wuxian. He starts straightening sacks full of supplies--coin bags, a set of rings, vases clinking fluted and musical against each other. They must run a games stall elsewhere in the city; Wei Wuxian has seen these prizes before. 

“Who asked you to be a vigilante, anyway.” The proprietor shakes his head. “You look for trouble, boy.”

“The only thing sweeter than trouble is justice,” says Wei Wuxian, laughing at the distaste the proprietor levels at him. He chases a few escaped scrolls that have tumbled from their sack.  “Ah, don’t be like that. I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to interfere with business, okay? I just don’t like to see--”

One of the scrolls has unfurled enough for Wei Wuxian to catch a glimpse of the ink painting. Beneath the glimmer of midday sun the paper is so buttery that Wei Wuxian expects for his fingers to come away slick when he picks it up, letting the scroll’s weight pull the painting the rest of the way open. 

The brushwork is unfamiliar. Mountains studded with frosted clouds, a lake, a tiny figure of a man at the silver waterline. A spray of peonies cradles the scene in its petals, done with a brush so fine that the artist could have drawn it with a single human hair. Wei Wuxian doesn’t recognize it--not the art. He hadn’t opened it for the art. 

A red seal dots the corner of the painting like a button of blood. Wei Wuxian would recognize it anywhere--anyone should recognize it anywhere. Being in possession of something with a seal like this, without explanation, could earn an axe to the neck. 

“Sir,” he asks, staring at the painting, “how did you come across a painting done by the imperial family?”

The proprietor’s eyes widen, and they make a wild lunge for it. Wei Wuxian is taller, though, and jerks it out of reach, rolling the scroll back up so the paper won’t tear. “Give it back!”

“Aha! What is it? Tell me. How did you come across a treasure like this?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Hmm. So if I simply walk away with it, you will also simply shrug, and let me be on my way?” Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows when the proprietor glowers. “Ah, so it mustn’t be nothing. Not with a look like that. Do tell.”

“It’s none of your business.”

Wei Wuxian chews on his lip, smiles. His stomach rumbles, already two cartwheels ahead, but he needs to slow down and think. “Can I pawn it from you?”

“I’d like to see you try, boy. Give it here!”

Wei Wuxian sighs. “I would not try. I would give it back to you, if you asked nicely, but oh--oh, the danger of another person knowing that you have a painting with an imperial stamp on it, with no way to explain how. Unless you’d like to tell me. But you’ve made it clear as day that you’re not interested in letting me know, so you’ll just have to let a stranger go, knowing he carries this secret, not knowing who he is, not knowing what he’ll do.” He holds the scroll out now. “But of course, I cannot take what’s mine. Shame. Here you are.”

The proprietor had listened to him speak with a vague, mounting fear in his eyes, and when Wei Wuxian shakes the scroll at them, they shrink back as if he’s shaking a dismembered arm at them.

“What, don’t want it now? Didn’t you want me to hand it over?”

“What are you playing at,” the proprietor asks. “Are you a palace spy? What do you want?”

Laughter leaps from Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “Me, a palace spy? Oh, no, no, no. I’m afraid not. Palace spies have much more important things to do than to sniff out thieving proprietors. Tell you what. I take this off your hands and you don’t have to worry about your neck, or your family’s necks, and in return, I won’t tell them where I found it. Hm?”

“You plan to give it back to the imperial family?”

“Of course,” says Wei Wuxian. “All things return to where they belong in the end.”

So as it goes, Wei Wuxian is one mango poorer, but one imperial painting richer, and he cannot tell if he is better off for it. He tucks the scroll into his knapsack and the key that hangs around his neck back into his collars and scans the market for weak spots, opportunities to win more food than he has money for. The rotten mango had been stupid luck, and luck is a finite resource which Wei Wuxian does not have much of to begin with, so he’s going to have to work for the rest of his food today. 

A surreptitious scrap of pink peeks out from behind the liquor stall and Wei Wuxian only catches a glimpse of the girl before she tucks herself behind the wooden beams again. Oh--the drunk’s daughter. She’s alone now. Irritation bubbles in the pit of Wei Wuxian’s stomach when he pictures the man shaking her off, lumbering towards another gambling stall that will entertain his time, and he has half a mind to--

“Fresh meat buns! Made this morning. Pork and chicken and mushroom!”

Wei Wuxian catches up to the bun cart, falling into step with the vendor. “Shifu, how much for one?”

“One bronze piece for three.”

“Can I get five for one bronze piece?”

“Are you deaf or just stupid? No. Get lost.”

“Please, shifu,” Wei Wuxian says, he gestures behind himself in the direction he’d seen the little girl, “my daughter, she hasn’t eaten in days, and we’re here to see the doctor and he turned her away on account of the fact that we have no money, and she’ll only get sicker if she doesn’t have any food in her system, our family is still waiting at home, please have mercy--”

“Heavens! Good heavens, fine, here! Take these misshapen ones, they’re an eyesore, anyway.”

“Thank you!” Wei Wuxian fishes the bronze piece out of his money pouch, fingertips poking through the holes in the bottom like eyes, and collects his spoils. “Thank you, Shifu!”

“Get outta my sight.”

Wei Wuxian holds his armful of buns to his chest, and their heat warms him through his clothes down to his bones. It’s a relatively cool day, even for autumn. When he turns around again, the girl scrunches herself back into the safety of the shadows, and he chuckles to himself. The liquorist eyes Wei Wuxin warily when he approaches, but he simply seats himself on the other end of the stall and opens his carrying cloth full of lopsided buns. Ugly, unwhole, but still good for hunger. Still good. 

“Could I interest you in a bottle of rice wine?” 

“Ah, no, it’s fine,” Wei Wuxian flaps his hand. “I am not wont for liquor, but perhaps some company to share these buns with. I have far too many to finish on my own. But I don’t know who’d want these ugly buns. Certainly not you, Shifu, I’m sure?”

The girl peeks out from behind the stall, and Wei Wuxian smiles. “Want one?”

She scampers to sit down in front of him, reaching out with sooty hands for a bun at the top of the bile. The skin of it is pearly in the noon sun, giving under touch, the way only fresh steamed buns are. Then she hesitates, looking into Wei Wuxian’s face as if expecting to be struck.

“Go ahead,” he says, holds the bun out. “Eat.”

She snatches it and crams half of it into her mouth, and Wei Wuxian chuckles again. He knows hunger like this, and takes his own portion to tear into. The sweet smell of pork and mushroom and oil floats up into his eyes, and for a moment the meat sears on his tongue before it settles into a taste. 

“Is it good?” he asks.

She nods. 

So it’s good.

“Where have you been? Wei Wuxian, I ought to cut you off at the kneecaps! A-Jie’s been worried sick, you were supposed to be back over a shichen ago.”

“I ran into a friend, Jiang Cheng. Lighten up, will you? Here, I got buns.”

“Keep your stupid buns. Where’s the fish you were going to get?”

Wei Wuxian scratches at the back of his neck. “Ha. Well, about that.”

“Seriously? I can’t believe you. If it weren’t your birthday, I really would cut you off at the legs.”

“But it is, so instead, you need to be nice!” Wei Wuxian crows triumphantly. 

Jiang Cheng sighs, a gust of hot summer wind that picks up stinging sands. A wisp of his hair flits with his breath. He’s wearing his nice clothes, no doubt because A-Jie made him, with a polished belt tucked around his waist like the coil of a sleeping snake. It’s a formality that they hardly ever bother with anymore, not in such a provincial town as this, leading a life as threadbare as theirs. The shine of the buckle comes off of him in bright flashes. 

“Whatever. Come on, A-jie made noodles. Where’d you get buns?”

“Oh, so you do want one. Here, I know you like chicken.”

“Don’t tell me you managed to snatch all of these,” Jiang Cheng asks, but he takes the one Wei Wuxian offers anyway. “Who likes chicken,” he mutters, mostly to himself.

“I just harnessed a talent that you have never quite mastered, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says. “Charm.”

“I ought to smack you.”

“There was a hungry kid. I didn’t want her to go hungry.”

Jiang Cheng is quiet. “We all are, why go help a stranger?”

“Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to help us back then?”

At this, a grunt. Which, coming from Jiang Cheng, is as enthusiastic a yes he’ll give, so Wei Wuxian smiles to himself and slings his sack of food over his shoulder. He’s down to two now, and he figures he’ll just give both of them to A-Jie who deserves much more than two pork buns, but it’s the best he has. One day he’ll get her expensive candied mangoes and hawthorn berries that the baker makes in the market in the next city over--the one that glitters.

“A-Cheng, A-Xian! You’re back!”

“Found him scaling the wall back into the hutong,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “Punk.”

Jiang Yanli, too, is wearing her nicest set of robes today, with a hair ornament that Wei Wuxian hasn’t seen her with since the new year. Her face clears of worry when she sees them, and she reaches up, straightens a lock of Wei Wuxian’s hair where it’s caught over his ear. “A-Xian, you’re not--you know that you shouldn’t--” 

“Scale walls, climb to great heights, jump off roofs, I know, I know,” Wei Wuxian says, vividly recalling that he has done all of the above and then some today. “Sorry to make you worry, A-Jie, I’m fine! I got you buns. You can have them both.”

“But what about the fish? A-xian, we were going to make one for dinner for you.”

“Ah, fish or no fish, it’s no matter. Noodles are good enough. As long as I can live a long life, luck will always come back around.” 

“What if your whole life is plagued with bad luck?” asks Jiang Cheng as they duck back into their hut of clay and brick. The curtains are open, a rare moment of Jiang Yanli letting daylight peek inside, and it lights up their matchbox home in a wash of sunset. Bowls of steaming noodles are set out on the rickety slice of table, with the biggest in front of the seat where Wei Wuxian always sits. His heart swells. He’ll be forcing mouthfuls of noodles into his siblings’ bowls when they sit down, he’s sure, but for now his heart is the pulse of afternoon sun in the window. 

“Then my next life,” says Wei Wuxian. “My next one won’t be nearly as bad.”

The Lost Phoenix is lost. I think that’s the point. No one will ever find them. You will die looking for them.

Wei Wuxian is built from broken things. 

He sees rubble and thinks, that is a home. He sees blood and thinks, that is a heart. He sees himself reflected in the slow meanders of swamp-green lakes lazy with dragonflies and skeeters and tries to remember, that is a human, that is a human, that is a human.

“You may not be human, but that is what makes you worth loving,” is what A-Jie says. 

“You? A human? With an appetite like that? It’s like trying to feed a void with you,” is what Jiang Cheng says, which is basically the same thing. 

Wei Wuxian is built from broken things, but the uglier, eyesore-pork-bun truth is that he is born from destruction. He is born from the fire of things, and the ashes of himself; his body waits for the wither. 

The Lost Phoenix is dead. His ashes were scattered in mountain, sea, and sky.

The Lost Phoenix is alive! Everyone knows that leaving behind but a single ember can spark a wildfire. Fire has wings.

No human, ghost, or demon has ever seen the Lost Phoenix. If they had, wouldn’t we have heard by now? They are only a legend.

There are scars on his back to prove what he once was and never will be again, and Jiang Yanli tells him, The world was not ready for you. The world, perhaps, will not be ready for the Lost Phoenix to return for as long as we still walk upon it, A-Xian, but maybe when one day when everyone is gone, when A-Cheng and I are gone, you’ll--

He always cuts her off there. Usually he can’t see her face, because she’ll be sitting behind him and rubbing oil into the muscles that can never seem to loosen around his shoulder blades, the ones that line the edges of the scars like mottled mountain peaks. Just two of them, in straight lines as long as a hand, glaring at each other over the expanse of his back, the winding groove of his spine. Phantom pains. Human or not, the body will miss limbs when they are gone. 

Tonight, Jiang Yanli does not tell him the world isn’t ready for him. It hurts to listen to her say it, because it’s not a pain that Wei Wuxian can beat away with his fists or even his words. There’s a quiet noise of the bottle being unstoppered, then the cloying scent of liniment oil wreathing around him as he sits with his back bared to her, hair swept over his shoulder. 

“A-jie,” he says. 

“Hmm?” Her hands are small and warm against his back, and he hisses in pain when her finger catches on a tight knot immediately. “Sorry, Xianxian.”

“It’s okay. Uhm, I have a stupid question.”

“I’m sure it isn’t. Ask.”

“Which birthday did we celebrate tonight?” he asks quietly. 

The inside of their hut is a dark, uneven indigo now, the fires of the village filtering in through their window. Jiang Cheng has gone to bathe, so the only answering noise above the sound of a city settling in evening is Jiang Yanli’s soft laughter. 

“Your thirty-first, A-xian.”

“How many years have passed in this life?”

Her hands disappear as she dabs more liniment oil onto her fingers. “Since your reincarnation?”

“Yeah.”

“Thirteen.” 

“Thirteen,” Wei Wuxian repeats. “Thirteen.” He rolls it over his tongue, trying to figure out how it tastes. Bitter, a little. like medicine. Maybe it’s the liniment. Jiang Yanli runs her thumb down the edge of one of the scars, massaging out a few particularly gnarly knots there. 

“Is there something wrong?” she asks. 

“Not wrong, exactly.” Wei Wuxian pushes his fingers into his folded robes in his lap, pretends the fabric is sand and silt at the bottom of a lake. He almost expects handfuls of snails when he pulls them back out. “It’s just that, with every passing year, I think maybe this is it--this is the year I’ll remember. This is the year I’ll remember the things about my life before this one. Remember when I tried to teach you and Jiang Cheng how to catch fish with your hands, in the river, A-Jie? You said you could see them beneath the surface, but when you’d reach in to grab it, it was like the fish were never even there.” 

“I remember,” says Jiang Yanli. She is quiet, waits for him to go on. 

“Trying to recall my first life is like that. I know it happened. I can see it right there, flickering under the water, but. But each year comes and goes, and not only do I not remember anything, it feels like more and more of what I thought I could remember slips away,” says Wei Wuxian. “I was excited in the eighth year of this life. Then I was excited in the twelfth. Thirteen is no good, is it, A-Jie? I’ve run out of lucky numbers to count on.”

“Would it make you happy to remember, Xianxian?”

“I think so. When I think about it--it’s funny, you know. Maybe you know. I can’t recall memories from it, exactly, but when I think about my first life, I think I remember being happy. Like when you roll over and the sun is already up. You can feel the warmth on you even if you don’t see the light.” Then Wei Wuxian snorts. “That doesn’t make any sense. Sorry, ignore me, A-jie.”

“It makes sense. Of course it makes sense. Is that all you remember, a feeling?”

They’ve been over this before. A hazy, murky image of something from Before, dredged up from packed soil. Jiang Cheng will always say, “Who knows? Why do you think I would remember?” waspish, and Jiang Yanli would always give him a soft, “Perhaps it was, A-xian.”

“I remember,” he says, “that we were in a noble family, once.”

This is an easy one. She always says yes to this one. “We were.”

“I remember that the palace walls were lined with bronze, not gold like a lot of the common folk think.”

“Yes, they are.”

“The accident.” The one that has turned him into this. 

“I wish you did not,” says Jiang Yanli.

“I don’t--not really. I just remember the pain. My body does, anyway.”

“Muscle has memory,” she says. “But because you are who you are, so does your blood and bones.”

Wei Wuxian fiddles with the gap-toothed key that swings from his neck. It thunks hollowly against his bare chest without the robes to hold it in place, and he tugs the deerskin rope that loops around his neck so that the knot tying it together comes down, down, down, through the hole in the key, up, up, back up again, a miniature comet’s orbit. 

“You were a princess,” he says, quiet again.

“Princess is a strong word.”

“But you were.”

“In my own way.”

And then, the most solid memory he has—a figure in white, with hair that fell to their waist, holding a smudge of pink in their hand. Solid, but blurred, like Wei Wuxian is trying to see them through a sheeting waterfall. The lines of their body were straight and crisp, except for the pink. The pink was always soft, parting the mud of his memory. 

He doesn’t mention this one, usually. Wei Wuxian holds it close to his heart where it has roots. Year after year, no matter the rains, nothing has flowered. Seasons have passed. 

“A person,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. 

Jiang Yanli’s hands slow. “Who?”

“I don’t know,” says Wei Wuxian. “Just a person. Their back is to me, so I can’t see their face, but it’s too blurry for me to see them, even if they’d been right in front of me. And they were just standing there--just standing. Nothing else. I don’t even really know if they’re real, but it’s the best memory I have.” He digs his nail into an indent in the key’s teeth. “Do you think they were real, A-Jie?”

“As real as the Lost Phoenix is.”

Wei Wuxian laughs weakly. “The Lost Phoenix is as good as myth.”

A myth meant to scare people.

A cautionary tale.

“The Lost Phoenix needs to stop squirming, or I will poke the sensitive parts of his scar, and I know he hates it when I do,” Jiang Yanli says. 

A story about a monster.

“Maybe it’s better to forget some things, A-Jie.”

“A-Cheng and I only want you to be happy, Xianxian. Whatever that means to you. Whether that means remembering or forgetting.”

“I want to remember, because your happiness is my happiness,” Wei Wuxian insists, turning around. Jiang Yanli lifts her hand away as he rearranges his legs in a half-lotus, one foot stretched out onto the floor. “I want to remember because I know this life isn’t one you and Jiang Cheng would have chosen if you both had a choice. You can’t say I’m wrong about that. No noble family member would choose to live in a rundown hutong if they had a choice.”

“A-Xian--”

“I know you won’t tell me what happened before my reincarnation,” says Wei Wuxian. “I know you want to forget. But if anything ever happens that means we can go back to it--you have to say so, okay? You both are the only family I have left. Let me do something for the people who have somehow kept me alive for thirty-one years. I can’t remember eighteen of them. As if I started reading in the middle of the story. There are things I know without knowing how I know them.”

Whether it be a story, a tale, legend, or myth, one thing was certain: the Lost Phoenix is the last known survivor of the Phoenix Rising, once the most revered noble family of the imperial city, the warrior family that protected the throne. 

Forged from the Sacred Fires of Scarlet Mountain, the Phoenix Rising once was so formidable that simply meeting one of them in their true form was a sign of luck and good fortune. They were, as their family name suggested, bewinged humans who lived and died and rose again from their own ashes. They were skilled in combat, nimble in war, with the ability of flight. They harnessed Taoist magic that was only spoken of in books. 

A secular world did not have room for magic.

“Our A-xian,” says Jiang Yanli, shaking her head, “always hurts himself trying to make us happy before he remembers he has a heart, too.”

“Ah, what good is a heart if I can’t deal it out in pieces for my didi and my jie?” says Wei Wuxian. “It’s not like anyone else has any use for it.”

“That’s not true,” Jiang Yanli murmurs. 

“Hm? What’s that?”

“Nothing, Xianxian.”

“You have my promise, A-Jie,” says Wei Wuxian. “It’s us three until the end. Never apart. If I can bring you and Jiang Cheng back to the glory days before this life, then I’ll do whatever it takes.”

She’s quiet, then dabs a light gauze over his skin to absorb the excess liniment oil. Both of them know it won’t be possible--even if they were a lower noble family, there wasn’t a ticket back into the royal city unless you saved the emperor from death or something equally as momentous. Save the empire, or something. Wei Wuxian dreams big, but he’s realistic. 

“Thank you, Xianxian,” she says, finally. 

“It smells like old people in here,” Jiang Cheng announces, as absurdly loud as new year firecrackers when he comes back inside. He smells of freshwater and sand, and he tracks an inky line of water where his wet shoes stamp footprints into the floors. “I know you’re another year older now, but you’re really getting started early.”

“If I’m so old, then you better talk to me with respect, punk,” Wei Wuxian says. Jiang Cheng may be loud, may be messy, but he chases away the strange, yearning sadness that tugs like a deep saltwater current on Wei Wuxian every time his birthday comes and goes. He loves his stupid, loud brother for it. “Hey! Where’s my kowtow? Where’s my ‘ge,’ then? Where’s my ‘Wei qianbei,’ huh? I’m so old, Jiang Cheng, pay your respects!”

“Screw you, Wei Wuxian. I’d sooner call you Old Man Wei. You’d have to rip out my tongue first.”

“Okay, come here then, my hands are free.”

“Gross! What’s wrong with you?”

And so night falls on another day, another year, and Wei Wuxian feels a little empty and a lot full, like a planet is breathing inside him. Jiang Yanli tugs on Jiang Cheng’s hair, makes him sit down so she can wrestle the tangles out of his drying frizz, and Wei Wuxian holds the lantern for light.

It’s enough. 

So what happened to them, the Phoenix Rising? Why have they disappeared?

Because they had power. Because they were loved, feared, and respected, all things an emperor should be.  

In the beginning, it was an honor to be the emperor that controlled the Phoenix Rising, for it took an equally distinguished ruler to command such a family, and for generations, the Phoenix Rising served the throne with grace. For generations, the empire was a glowing, golden city upon which the sun glittered, and the common folk called it the City of Gods. 

But at the end of a weak dynasty, the throne was seized by a bloodthirsty family that feared the Phoenix Rising and the power they held. People, monsters, kings, or gods? Did the citizens respect the throne? Or did the loyalty of their hearts lie with the strange, winged family that had for centuries been revered as the beacon of luck and fortune?

 Humans fear what they do not understand. Humans seek to destroy what they fear. 

And so the Phoenix Rising paid the steepest price.

“Did he mention it to you at all yesterday?”

“No! He never brought it up. That punk. I’m gonna wring his sorry little neck.”

“A-Cheng.” A rustle of wind through paper. Then, “We need to ask him where he found this. He could’ve been caught. He could’ve been killed.”

Wei Wuxian wakes to his siblings whispering. Whispers always come through dreams like shouts, and he’s having a very strange dream about walking through wire, except instead of coals at his feet, there is ash, and in the ash there are hundreds and hundreds of keys glinting red as squirting cherries. His feet are burnt and blistering, but he can’t run, can’t turn back, can only walk forward. 

There are no secrets in a single-room shack. No matter how quietly Jiang Yanli whispers, Jiang Cheng speaks loud enough to wake the whole town. 

“Nicked it, probably,” says Jiang Cheng now. A grudging respect colors his voice. “That’s probably why he took so long to get back yesterday.”

The bamboo sleep mat crackles beneath him as Wei Wuxian rolls over, then sits up. For a moment the world is a spinning top. Jiang Yanli turns, lowering something, and smiles when she sees him awake. Jiang Cheng, of course, is already swinging. 

“You dumbass! Where did you get this? If someone comes looking for it and finds it with us, do you know how dead we are?”

Then Wei Wuxian sees it--the painting that he’d charmed out of the hands of the gambling proprietor at lunch yesterday. Jiang Yanli holds it like a broken bird in her lap, and Wei Wuxian ducks when Jiang Cheng aims another swat at him. Mostly half-hearted, but he leaps to his feet and skips out of reach. 

“I was going to surprise you!” he says. “I didn’t even have a chance to tell you what I was planning. You don’t know how much money this could bring in the black market, Jiang Cheng, an imperial painting? Just think about it. I can just disguise myself, go at night--cover my face, you know--and we could stop living here. We could live in a real house, and we wouldn’t have to all share one sleeping mat.”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli gets to her feet, too. Always graceful in a stark contrast to her two brothers, the lantern from which two wild tassels would dance in the wind. She lifts the painting up high so that she can point to the red seal in the corner. “Do you recognize this?”

“The imperial seal, right? Sure. Everyone does.”

“I’m going to puke blood,” says Jiang Cheng. 

Jiang Yanli ignores him. “You’re not wrong, A-Xian. But this is an imperial seal of a concubine.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Of the emperor?”

“Yes. Judging from the seal design, not just any concubine--she must be a consort, at least.” Jiang Yanli holds the paper closer to her face, trying to discern the characters. “Mo,” she mutters, unsure. 

“So we could sell it for even more money,” Wei Wuxian concludes.

“No, we are not going to sell it for money,” says Jiang Cheng. His face has darkened. 

“Are you crazy?” Wei Wuxian asks. “You said it yourself, if someone finds us in possession, it’ll be our heads. The faster we get rid of it, the less likely anyone is to know it ever passed through our hands at all.”

“Yeah, well, you probably should have considered that before you nicked it, genius,” Jiang Cheng snaps. “It doesn’t matter. Now that we have it, we’re going to use it.”

“Use it how, if not for money, then?” Wei Wuxian struggles to keep his voice low. Jiang Cheng is not making any gods damned sense--isn’t he the one who constantly talks about leaving this hutong under the guise of hating how cramped it is, when really, he and Wei Wuxian agree that they should move closer to the imperial city where there would be better houses and perhaps a respectable man for their sister to marry if she so wanted? 

“We’re going to use this to return to the imperial city.” 

A silence falls like a tree toppled in storm between them. 

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli begins. 

“We are?” asks Wei Wuxian. “How would that even work?”

“You’re the best at telling lies.”

“Well, yes, I’m glad you have seen the light.”

“Think about it,” says Jiang Cheng. “An emperor's consort. It means she must have been in favor with the sitting emperor, Jin Huangshang. A painting with her seal on it. How would a painting by a favored concubine of the emperor end up out here?”

“Wound up in a gambling stall, no less,” Wei Wuxian says. Now that Jiang Cheng puts it that way--it’s more than a little strange. “Fine, say that we could use it as our golden ticket back into the imperial city. We’ll be lucky if the consort is dead. She won’t be around to ask any questions if there are holes in our story. What if she’s alive? What if she’s not a consort? What if she was hated, what then?”

“A-Xian,” says Jiang Yanli, setting her hand on his shoulder, and the touch is firmer than he’s used to. “Stop. You too, A-Cheng. Returning would be dangerous for us.”

“Dangerous how?” asks Wei Wuxian. There it is--that gap of the first eighteen years of his life rearing its mangled head. Sometimes it’s like trying to read a page of text with half the words blacked out, the ones left behind still beautiful, but without meaning. “A-Jie, I thought we were…”

“We were a lower noble family then, Xianxian. But it does not mean that the court is a safe place for any of us.”

“Jie!” says Jiang Cheng. 

“No, A-Cheng. We’re not going back. It’s not just for A-Xian’s safety, it’s for all of us.”

“Would we really be in that much danger?” asks Wei Wuxian. “If no one knows I’m the Lost Phoenix but the three of us, nothing would happen.”

Right?

“Jiejie,” says Jiang Cheng, his voice quieter than Wei Wuxian has ever heard it, “the Crown Prince has never married.”

Jiang Yanli’s face, for a dizzying heartbeat, is stricken. Something like pain and longing flashes through her eyes quick as the swing of an axe in cloudy morning, but then it’s gone, and she sighs. 

“What does the Crown Prince have anything to do with A-Jie?” asks Wei Wuxian. 

“That isn’t any of our business. Not even yours, A-Cheng,” she says. Wei Wuxian has never seen his sister like this, drawn up tall with her chin held high, and for a moment he sees the princess that she must once have been. Jiang Cheng, who is easily a head taller than her and twice as broad, crumples under the weight of her gaze. “We left because we wanted to. We’ve lived by this choice and we will continue to live by it. Now, both of you listen--A-Xian will do as he planned, sell this painting for whatever sum that traders will offer, and we won’t speak of it again. Understand?”

The tension swells like a fever between them. 

Wei Wuxian should be happy that his sister is on his side for this--when is it that she ever picks sides whenever he and Jiang Cheng argue? Any other time, he’d be hooting with laughter, rubbing it in Jiang Cheng’s face, but there is a deeply strange, melancholy expression on his brother’s face that does not suit him at all. 

“Fine,” says Jiang Cheng. He takes the scroll from Jiang Yanli, rolling it up with care, then shoves it into Wei Wuxian’s chest with considerably less care. “Get this shit out of my sight. I’m going out.”

Wei Wuxian watches helplessly as Jiang Cheng moves around their hut with jerky movements, jaw set with the pulse of anger. He gathers his knapsack and what meager rations of buns left over from the day before, no doubt stale and hard by now, and loops it around his shoulder. 

Then he’s gone, without another word. 

Wei Wuxian gnaws on the soft inside of his cheek. “A-Jie--”

“Don’t think too much about what A-Cheng said, Xianxian,” says Jiang Yanli. “He won’t show it, but he worries. You needn’t take what he said to heart.”

Jiang Yanli will say no more, no matter how hard he presses. He’ll press anyone until they give, but not her. She ducks her head when Wei Wuxian turns to her with his confused, hurt silence, as if she is waiting for his anger. He’d never be angry with her. 

“I don’t understand, A-Jie.”

“A-Cheng and I simply have different ideas of what it means to keep our family safe. He thinks it means returning. I think it means to stay.”

“But why would we be in danger?” he asks. “Does this have something to do with the Crown Prince? Did he know who I was? I guess so, or else why would Jiang Cheng bring him up? Did you know him? Could he help us?”

“No, he couldn’t.”

Wei Wuxian sets his mouth in a line. “Well, I should be off too,” he says. The sun has already started to burn back the clouds; he needs to find tonight’s dinner for the three of them. Maybe he should go after Jiang Cheng, press him for more details. Their sister, despite what anyone might think, gives far less easily than either of them. 

“Be careful, Xianxian,” she says. “Oh, are you taking the painting with you?”

“There’s no way I’m going to leave it here in case anyone finds it and you’re here by yourself. Worst case scenario, I throw it away, and we can pretend none of this ever happened.” He takes Jiang Yanli’s hands in his, squeezes them ruefully. “I’m sorry, A-Jie. I just thought it would help. I didn’t want you to argue with Jiang Cheng.”

“It’s okay.” She tucks his stray hairs over his ear. “Go. Come back safe, A-xian.”

He waves at her once when he steps out, and once more when he makes it to the end of the hutong and she becomes little more than a quilted patch of terrycloth in the distance, as he does every morning when he leaves. Jiang Cheng can’t have gone far in the time that he’s gone, unless he took off at a sprint, so Wei Wuxian lets the scented chill of autumn fill his lungs.

The Crown Prince. What a strange person to bring up. Wei Wuxian rifles through what he remembers hearing in taverns and pubs, filtered through the thick veil of alcohol. The Jin family sits upon the throne now, after staging a coup against the Wens and seizing power just over a decade ago. The Crown Prince would have to be a Jin prince. The Jin Emperor was said to be quite the philanderer and had more than enough sons from too many concubines to choose from. The Crown Prince must be quite a favorite, for an emperor with so many sons would not pay any mind to choosing the Empress’s sons if he so liked one from his concubine better. 

And this Crown Prince, according to Jiang Cheng, has never married. 

The look on Jiang Yanli’s face--frozen, bruised, a bird shot from the sky before it begins to plummet--was not one Wei Wuxian expected to see when she heard this news. If they’d known this prince, then he must have been around even before Wei Wuxian’s reincarnation. Jiang Yanli must have spoken of him. 

But all his memories can offer him are vague smudges of color and a person with pink like a fire in their hands. 

It’s too early for the fishmongers just yet, but the market brims with life as it always does. Wei Wuxian narrowly dodges a cart full of fresh flowers, a toothless grandfather with a bamboo hat pulling it along weakly. One of the wheels is crooked, wood squeaking against the stone pavement. 

“Shifu, your wheel,” says Wei Wuxian, plucking the canteen of oil tucked low against the cart. It dribbles out in a black splash. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?”

“Thank you, young man,” says the grandfather, and Wei Wuxian waits for him to turn his back to the street before plucking a lotus from the back of his cart and tucking it into his knapsack. For A-Jie, as penance for upsetting her so early in the morning. 

Jiang Cheng is not hard to find. He is poor at concealing himself, both in body and in voice, and he really is very bad at haggling. Wei Wuxian sidles up to him at a fruit stall, arguing with the vendor over a particularly ugly dragonfruit that looks more like a leathery handful of meat left too long in the sun than any respectable fruit. 

 “Now I think,” says Wei Wuxian, plucking it out of Jiang Cheng’s hand and ignoring his indignant scoff, “shifu, if you let this fruit sit out in your display, it would ruin the look of all the rest of your fruits. ‘Ah, look at this lovely display of dragonfruit. But what do we have here? A misfit! A miscreant! A monstrosity, really!’ And then you lose business. So really, we’re doing you a favor.”

“A favor?” says the vendor with disbelief. “What gall.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, then tosses the fruit back and forth between his hands and gives a quick jerk of his chin. “What do you say? Half off?”

“I can’t believe you weaseled him into giving it to us for less than half off,” says Jiang Cheng five minutes later. “You could talk your way out of your own--”

Wei Wuxian tosses his dragonfruit from hand to hand. “My own what?” Jiang Cheng’s knapsack hangs flat and sad against his back, crumpled like a dead leaf, so Wei Wuxian holds it open and drops the fruit inside. 

“Nothing. Never mind. What are you doing out here with that--thing?”

“Do you think I was going to leave it with A-Jie? No way. Imagine if she were alone and someone found her with it.”

Jiang purses his lips, nods. He tucks his thumb into the strap of his knapsack, a deadknot slung over his shoulder. “Have you thought about any stories?”

“What stories?”

“About what we’d say, if we brought it back to the imperial city.”

Jiang Cheng resolutely does not meet Wei Wuxian’s stare. 

“You want to go?”

“I just think that if we have a plan, A-Jie might be more willing to go. To be honest with you, if it were just to the two of us, it wouldn’t matter as much. We could sell the stupid painting, use the money. We could eke out an existence. It would fucking suck, but we could, and I wouldn’t feel guilty about it.”

“Ah, Jiang Cheng. You’re finally talking sense!” Wei Wuxian claps him on the back. When Jiang Cheng doesn’t shake his hand off, his smile falters. He must actually be worried. “Okay. We have to consider multiple scenarios, then, if we want this to be foolproof. We don’t want to make up a story where the concubine is alive when she’s dead. Or vice versa. So the first order of business is to figure that out.”

Jiang Cheng nods. “And what kind of favor she’s in with the emperor. The better, the easier for us.”

So, like peddlers, they spin their stories. 

+

The night blooms blue and foggy, the moon dropping light in handfuls of glass through the forest, and Wei Wuxian straightens to see that he is not alone. 

Someone else is in the mist with him. It’s thick enough that he cannot see their feet, so they could be floating. A man--just a bit taller than Wei Wuxian himself. His sword is drawn, lowered, as if he’d been pointing it before Wei Wuxian sensed him and stopped. The folded steel blade flashes. 

Blood sheets heavily down Wei Wuxian’s leg where the muscle has torn around the arrowhead, and haze sloshes in his skull. His brain is an upended bowl of goldfish. He grasps for words, for his thoughts, but they slip through his fingers. The stranger stares at him a bit in shock, a bit in horror, mostly in surprise. He opens his mouth. He closes it. He is wearing so much white he could be glowing, a star abandoned by its galaxy, and Wei Wuxian is the only one to find him. 

They stare at each other in the gloom. 

Wei Wuxian’s scattered goldfish thoughts say, Pink.

“Are you here to kill me?” asks Wei Wuxian. His words come out slurred even to his own ears. He needs to find Jiang Cheng. They need to get back to A-Jie. He needs to get out of here. 

“No.” The stranger steps towards him. “We mistook you for a prey animal. Are you badly hurt?”

“This? No, no. I’m fine. I need to go.”

“Your leg is injured.”

“It’s fine. I need to get back to--my wards,” Wei Wuxian says, catching himself before he says anything too revealing, pats himself on the back for staying in line even as his thoughts unravel. He picks his favorite story and sticks with it, hopes to any god that is listening it won’t get any of them killed. “My wards. They were with me. I was looking for Jin Bixia.”

The stranger has come so close that Wei Wuxian can make out every stitch of his robe. “What business do you have with the emperor?”

“I have a painting,” he mumbles around the haze. It’s a dark one, now. “My mother’s painting.”

Then darkness kisses his eyelids, and the night pulls him under. 

+

The scroll unfurls with the quiet hush of paper that has gone undisturbed too long. Even mounted on fine silk, the edges of the hemp and mulberry fibers have begun to wither, time nibbling as cruel and hungry as moths. The paper stretches on forever, nearly as tall as him fully unfurled. The cherrywood stick clacks upon the floor. 

Wei Wuxian’s mouth goes dry. He stares with seeing, then without comprehending, then without believing. 

The ink color has faded, like the paper, with age. Once the red might have leapt off the page, the greens so bright that spring grew from the painting itself, but all of it has flattened. It’s a simple composition. Where Mo Fu Ren had let her human subject be lost among the trees and sweeping landscapes, this painting is only one person, draped in textured golds and silk brocade embroidered with dragons. 

Simple, perhaps, but done by the hand of someone who held them beloved. 

His fingers shake when he reaches out. They hang back, and he pulls away, afraid that touching it might make the entire painting dissolve in his hands. 

Smiling serenely back at him is his own face, thirteen years younger, thirteen years less hungry—but it is him. His eyes are downcast, with a rabbit cradled in the crook of his elbow and a bird perched upon his shoulder. Without a doubt it is him. Even if he could not recognize his own face, the characters that march in little terracotta soldiers down the paper leave no room for guessing. 

The black ink is fresh, as if someone has run a brush through the strokes every year so that they can never fade. 

Wei Wuxian, they say. 

This can’t be right. He must be misreading. He blinks hard. 

His thoughts trip over each other’s ankles. They come in a clamoring flood, each wanting to be heard first, pored over first. Wei Wuxian. Had there been another before him? It is not a common name. It is not a name that would show up twice in the royal city if every noble family had the names of their descendants planned out for generations, no matter if the Phoenix Rising had been slaughtered by order of the emperor. Why is there a painting of him rolled up and locked away in the private study of Hanguang Gexia, second head of the scholar house to Emperor Jin? 

Did they once know each other?

How could it be that a key that Jiang Yanli gave him would unlock this desk?

There are corpses sleeping under their feet. This earth has been burnt and salted. 

An old ache starts in his spine. 

We were a lower noble family then, Xianxian.

Fire without coals. 

There was a person. Just a person.

Do not exhume these bodies. 

We left because we wanted to.

Something terrible must have happened to him. 

#fic wip #incomplete #wx

[danwhobrowses]

WWE Wrestlemania 37 Day 2 - Review

And we are back! Wrestlemania hit hard with Day 1, good shit and big moments fitting of the show

So let's see if Day 2 can match up to it, lots of big matches on the card, we'll see how it goes.

See the Night 1 Review Here

Spoilers for Night 2 and References to Night 1 included, you have been Warned

Pre-Show Like the last Night, no matches on the Pre-Show, just drivel and promos. So the same criticisms really, Lawler saying 'Wrestlerainia' doesn't make it any better than when Cole said it, his attempts at jokes were awful even when they were his material. When they recapped Night 1 though they should've shown footage of Ford celebrating with Bianca rather than just say it - a Picture says a Thousand Words. Standard Promo Package lies apply too, 'Rhea Ripley has brutalized everyone she's come through' ...except Io Shirai and Raquel Gonzalez, similar went down for the second half of HOF because Great Khali is only there to pander to India - also what did the Mayor of Knox County ever do for WWE? Sonya also popped up again, strangely to talk about the Nigerian Drum Fight - which Booker T talked about the most, if I wanted to watch a bunch of old dudes talk over Sonya Deville I'd be drinking bleach. She also stuck for Sami vs KO, and barely talked in that too.

Also the promo they had about Kofimania was rough to watch, considering how it ended and how Kofi fared on Night 1, all this to promote a cheesy Cricket commercial about him not touching the ground...

The 24/7 title even got a continuation of ads, but it was more a 'to be concluded on Youtube' - honestly the belt has run its course, Truth has ran out of jokes and it's been reduced to an Old Spice ad crossover.

Main Card Starting once more with 'America the Beautiful', replacing the boob window with a bright yellow hat. It was fine, as a Brit 'America the Beautiful' does nothing for me.

They then did the same intro package as night 1 just with some different clips, skippable. And the shoddy camera switching is still there.

Hogan and Titus came out again this time in pirate outfits, there was noticeable boos in Hogan's bits with cheesy pirate puns. In the end the host concept was wasted on them. Reminder that names in Bold are those I predicted to win.

Randy Orton def. The Fiend [w/Alexa Bliss] (Pinfall via RKO) Orton opened night 2 in white tights and a fairy long-winded entrance, the melted Fiend then walked through a corridor of fire LEDs as CGI burned away into his original Fiend look...but Alexa's Firefly Funhouse music hit. Cutesy Bliss approached a giant Jack in a Box commentary act like just 'appeared'. The Fiend arose from the box in a combat vest, posed then dove right at Orton. Red lights cover the match throughout, Uranage and a neck snap started the match as the Fiend continued to do his spooky thing, it looks like he was gonna set up the punt but Randy rolls out of the ring. Randy hits the back body slam on the Announcer's Desk but it's no sold into the Mandible Claw, rope break and apron DDT from Orton only staggers the Fiend but rebounding his neck off the ropes grounds him momentarily. Orton tries to methodically beat down the Fiend but the monster hits back hard, a missed Senton and a senton follows some head kicks and another apron DDT, he sets up for an RKO but the Fiend gets the Mandible Claw (which commentary no sold even though he has won titles with that move), he sets up Sister Abigail but the ring posts pyro like Kane and before Fiend is Bliss with new makeup, dripping in black goo she extends her hand to the Fiend from the jack in the box, RKO and...3!? Post match Fiend and Alexa stare down, the electricity shorts out and both members disappear.

That's it? That's what we got? The Fiend was burned alive and survived but 1 RKO does it? The Fiend no sold so much in his career and one RKO felled him. The fuck man, this was as bad as the last time these two went at mania, you'd think like the brilliant Firefly Funhouse Match last year we'd get some course correction. But nope, Fiend's story is just being taken over by Alexa and this daft-ass black goo stuff, I don't get the motivation either. Fiend helped Alexa straddle Orton for a 3 count at Fastlane, talked all big for months about how the Fiend was going to obliterate Orton and it lasted about 8 minutes, the entrances lasted longer! Last year the Fiend was great with a cinematic match, but WWE have somehow managed to systematically destroy one of their most inventive characters time and time again, not a good start.

Backstage once again Bayley gets buried by the Hosts and this time Eric Bischoff as she tried to push Ding Dong Hello and got jealous of them talking up Bianca vs Sasha from last night.

WWE Women's Tag Championship - Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax (c) def. Natalya & Tamina (Ref Stoppage Submission by Baszler on Natalya via Kirufuda Clutch) Not a promising sign to follow the opener with this match, the challengers entered quickly with Natalya having a slightly altered attire. Jax and Baszler came in with red, black and gold. Natalya and Baszler start the match with some mat wrestling, Natalya almost gets the Sharpshooter so Shayna tags Nia in, Nia shoves Natalya and demands that Tamina - her old tag partner - be tagged in. Both trade headbutts, Tamina almost lifts Nia but fails, she tags in Natalya for the double back body drop and drops the blind tagged Shayna onto her partner. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but is schoolboy'd for 2, Natalya retaliates with a German Suplex, whipping Shayna into a Clothesline, then launch pad into a superkick. As Shayna strikes back an advantage she stiffs Natalya in the mouth with a knee (legitimately, there was a picture of a welt before) Nia brawls with Tamina outside, hitting a powerslam outside of the ring. Another knee strike floors Natalya for 2 as Shayna works on the leg, kneebar and then an ankle stomp, Nia follows up with a Legdrop over the injured leg, another kneebar and then combos of swing/knee strike and irish whip/powerslam. Nia runs into the turnbuckle as Natalya floors Nia with multiple lariat attempts, Nia though hits back with a Chokeslam/Powerbomb thing they called a Spinebuster but the pin is broken by Tamina. Tamina gets the hot tag against Shayna, Baszler tries to weaken the leg, then the Kirufuda clutch but Tamina powers into a Samoan Drop. She goes up for a Superfly Splash but Shayna kicks her, Nia looks to do an Avalanche Samoan Drop but Natalya pulls Tamina away, she lariats Baszler but Nia hits the crossbody on both opponents for 2, favouring the knee after. Talking trash to Tamina she gets hit with a slam, Nia's repositioning couldn't be missed by the wide shot as Tamina goes for the Superfly Splash, but nobody home. Natalya's tagged and she goes for Baszler in the corner, Baszler counters and blind tags as Nia lifts Natalya up, but she wriggles out, floors Baszler again and sets the Sharpshooter on the now not legal Nia. Baszler cinches in the Kirufuda clutch and the match is over.

The fact that this was more eventful than the opener speaks volumes. It was a match, I don't think there's many people who feel like Nia and Shayna deserve this spot. Shayna was great in NXT but she's not doing herself any favours stiffing her opponents, Nia's rubbing off in a bad way. I had the challengers to win because I'm bored of them still being champions - only briefly giving it to Asuka and Charlotte so Charlotte can add that to her list - they should've either dropped to NXT or let the Riott Squad win, there was nothing in this match to invest in.

Rey Mysterio is used to promote 2K22. A surprise since we thought WWE and 2K's partnership was done, I am a huge fan of Rey so it was nice to see, much nicer if he was actually on Wrestlemania and getting a push...

Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn [w/Logan Paul] (Pinfall via Stunner) JBL is the guest commentator for this...for some reason. Sami struts to the ring in dark green trying to pull off a Che Guevara look, a mini tantrum at the ramp before heading to the ring and grabbing the mic to introduce Logan Paul, who walks to the ring as Sami dances super embarrassingly in the ring. Owens then charges into the ring with vigor to get the crowd amped up. The bell rings, Sami tries the Helluva Kick and gets hit with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. KO punishes Sami in the start, dropping Sami gut-first on the ropes, corner clothesline and Cannonball as the camera awkwardly keeps cutting to Logan Paul. Sami gets a suplex on the apron to get back some momentum as he demands for Owens to be counted out, Owens rolls in at 8 but Sami continues to club at KO's head. Cole calls a Michinoku Driver a Blue Thunder Bomb but this time gets called out on it, pinfall is 2 and Sami gets into the ref's face. Attempted Superplex leads to a fistfight in the corner, Owens headbutts him off and Frog Splashes for 2, tries the Pop-Up powerbomb, Sami leapfrogs, Sami tries the Michinoku Driver but Owens reverses it into a meaty Pumphandle Neckbreaker for 2. He goes for the Package Piledriver but Sami hits the corner exploder, tries for the Helluva Kick but misses, KO tries the Stunner but it's reversed into a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2 as well. Two Exploders and a Brainbuster for 2 frustrates Sami further, brawling in the corner, he tries for a Superplex but gets hit with an Avalanche twisting Fisherman's Suplex. KO hits Sami with some corner clotheslines but as he runs to bounce off the other corner he runs into a Helluva Kick, Sami catching his collapsed friend as he sets it up again, 2 Superkicks from Owens and a Stunner finishes Sami off as Logan Paul applauds. Post-Match Logan checks on Sami and congratulates Owens, which Sami takes umbrage with. Logan shoves Sami as he storms off, Logan holds KO's arm in the air to boos, cheers start to rumble as Paul is hit with a stunner to a pop.

KO and Sami rarely disappoints, I don't think they really got to get out of second gear but it was still a good match. The Logan Paul stuff though was stupid and unnecessary, sure we got him to eat a Stunner but the ends don't justify the means. Also why was JBL there?

Backstage Riddle scooters across to Great Khali, stoner comedy doesn't land as Khali no sells it, RVD shows up to wish Riddle luck. Segment was meh.

US Championship - Sheamus def. Riddle (c) (Pinfall via Brogue Kick TITLE CHANGE!) Sheamus arrives blinding white but no special gear, Riddle scooters down in an Evil Knievel jacket, hologram doves with pirate hats and eyepatches adding to the cheese. Sheamus uses his power to start, but Riddle comes back with some chops, Sheamus hits back in each of his attempts; knee to the gut, then driving Riddle's sleeper in the corner, then a reversal swinging slam. Irish Curse gets 2, Riddle tries a Tarantula Armbreaker but Sheamus hits his Beats of Bodhran, he goes up high but Riddle reverses with a Spanish Fly Belly to Belly on the top turnbuckle. Riddle rallies with strikes, hits a Pele Kick and a Senton, to slight Goldberg Riddle hits the Jackhammer on the second time of trying but only gets 2. He tries the Bro Derek but Sheamus rolls back, Riddle kicks Sheamus away but in his slingshot lands into a Brogue Kick, 1, 2, No. Alabama Slam, 1, 2, No. He tries a White Noise on the Apron but gets pushed into the Ring Post and then German's on the Apron. An Apron PK and Moonsault keeps Sheamus down enough for Riddle to hit the Twisting Moonsault, he locks in the Reverse armbar but it's reversed into a deadlift powerbomb, Riddle then latches the sleeper for the rope break. Sheamus tries again for a Top Rope White Noise, Riddle tries to Sunset Bomb but fails, Riddle tries the Spanish Fly Belly to belly again but Sheamus grabs him. A stumble means that the two hop off the Turnbuckle for a normal White Noise, Sheamus goes up with a Knee Drop but it only hits 2. Sheamus calls for the Brogue, gets rolled up but catches the Knee strike, Riddle dodges the lariat, goes for a Springboard Moonsault but lands into the Brogue, 1, 2, 3. Post match Riddle is bleeding from the mouth, he angrily stares at the gleeful Sheamus who leaves with the title.

A good title match and much deserved from Sheamus, who has delivered in many matches on the later stages of of the Wrestlemania year, shame he was on the wrong brand to complete the set, he only needs the IC title to win everything. Riddle doesn't do it for me in this gimmick (which as I gather is mostly himself stoned) but credit where it's due, he put a good performance and that was a strong finish.

An odd package followed where Triple H handed Bad Bunny a golden briefcase with a skull microphone, which he opened atop his truck. The briefcase says Tour 2022 to promote his future tour.

Nigerian Drum Fight for the IC Title - Apollo Crews def. Big E (c) (Pinfall via Dabba Kato Chokeslam TITLE CHANGE!) The promo really hurt my ears to hear Apollo's accent devolve into this foreign heel gimmick. Wale though performs to enter Big E, more questionable camera cuts to E and the Fireworks. E's jacket represented Feeding Tampa Bay as a nice nod to the food bank, Apollo came out in Nigerian colors with his scarf and Spear. Commentary's line saying 'this isn't about percussion' falls kinda flat when there's drums around the ring.

Both men roll out to grab Kendo sticks, trading blows which E gets the power advantage over. E grabs the giant cymbal but Apollo knees it away, hits E with some more Kendo Shots back into the ring. You can hear the WAFT of Apollo's missed shot as E knocks him away and then does the out-of-ring spear. E sets up the lower steps near the apron but gets hit with a DVD on the apron, pinfall gets 2. Crews grabs the top half of the steps, lays E on the one he sets up and throws the other steps at it, but E rolls away just in time. On the apron Apollo hits a big boot, but on the second attempt falls into an Uranage onto the flat steps (which Cole called an Uranage Suplex for some reason...), after some trash talking E gets a table set up in the ring near a corner. Apollo kicks back and flurries E with a Kendo Stick, he rolls E onto the table to go for the frog splash, but E rolls away sending Apollo crashing through the table. E hits the Big Ending, but Dabba Kato/Babatunde in a military jacket breaks the pin, a sorta Samoan Spike and a Chokeslam leads to him dragging Apollo onto E for the win. Apollo gets a lot of unnecessary pyro and shakes his new comrade's hand.

Bit short that, the gimmick didn't really come into play. I mean, I'm glad Apollo gets a chance to hold another title and E can look towards the top of the card but I don't think this was really the way to do it. It didn't need to be a 'Nigerian Drum Fight', could've just been a No DQ, Dabba Kato gets his third repackaging since Greatest Royal Rumble probably as Apollo's 'General' which is kinda no different to what AJ and Omos are doing just with more foreign heel-isms. But yeah, bit disappointing on the means of it but the outcome was right, just...kinda stop faking a thick accent it's getting you nowhere acting like you're on the set of Black Panther.

Again we look back at Night 1, this time with minor clips of Ford congratulating his wife, but should've been a segment on its own rather than a flash-through recap. Stone Cold Mania 38 Texas promo and the HOF promo they did on this Pre-Show happens again which is unnecessary but the hologram of a ghost ship was cool, the HOFers come out and Kane gets the entrance, he does his pyro and that's it - that's how you do it, Hogan.

Raw Women's Championship - Rhea Ripley def. Asuka (c) (Pinfall via Riptide TITLE CHANGE!) THIS IS MY BRUTALITY! performed live as Rhea wastes no time coming out, leather biker outfit this time, no Vegeta costume. Silly camera cuts to Rhea and the Singer AGAIN though, stop it WWE it's distracting. Asuka dances down the ring in a bit of a Jason mask, but the camera keeps cutting to Rhea which is off-putting. Also commentary on 'she has never seen Rhea Ripley up close and personal', they were in a tag match together a week and a half ago and in Survivor Series 2019 she faced her in Team NXT as part of Team RAW, seriously WWE...

Asuka starts hot with her athleticism, dropkicks, rebounds and rollups met with more shoddy camera cuts, Rhea leaves the ring to take a moment as Asuka taunts her, she baits Asuka out of the ring as she rolls in but her leg is caught, pop-up knee strike returns Rhea to the ring but she misses the hip attack, gifting Rhea the slamming facebuster for 2. Rhea wears the champion down and taunts her with leg scissors and hits a couple of clotheslines, Asuka reverses the third into an ankle lock but Rhea rolls into a Release German Suplex. Rhea grinds away at Asuka's back and sets up for a super German but Asuka elbows her away and lands the Missile Dropkick, Release German, Hip Attack, a strike combo, another Hip Attack but it only gets 2. Asuka goes up top but is dropkicked to the outside, Asuka tries a PK on the apron but is caught into an Electric Chair position and dropped chin-first onto the apron. Trying to roll Asuka back into the ring, the champion returns to hit a DDT from the apron to the outside, after breaking the count Asuka only gets 2, stomps at Rhea but her running knee gets caught, Rhea stomps at Asuka and sets up the Texas Cloverleaf, Asuka rolls out and into the Armbar but Rhea swings Asuka into the bottom turnbuckle. Deadlift suplex back into the ring for 2, Asuka reverses a waistlock into two armbar variations and then an Asuka Lock, Rhea rolls back for 2 and the hold to break but gets gutted with kicks to the chest, Rhea demands more so Asuka runs to the ropes, Rhea catches her, Riptide, 3!

That finish came out of nowhere, which was not a good thing. We were having quite an enjoyable match which ended around the 15 minute mark, it wasn't short but the narrative wasn't quite there yet. I'm happy for Rhea, who I predicted to win but like Sasha/Bianca it came with the heavy heart. Like Sasha, Asuka has often been slighted especially at Wrestlemania, she deserves her moment too, especially Asuka who carried the Women for most of the Empty Arena era.

WWE recapped the opener which was a bad idea, Hogan and Titus thanked all the viewers at home and the fans but were interrupted by Bayley who demanded and got her pyro, then out came the Bella Twins. Bayley got a good zing by calling them Elmo but then Nikki slapped the mic away from her when she says 'John Cena isn't here tonight', Bellas said 'Ding Dong, Goodbye' and beat down Bayley. This was shite really, Bayley had been buried across 2 nights and her 'comeuppance' is the Bella Twins, not the woman beginning with B I was hoping for, and the John Cena comment was heavily forced, fans know they broke up ages ago Nikki has a kid with her husband who is not John Cena, fans aren't stupid WWE.

WWE then promoted 'Wrestlemania Backlash' for May 16th, a whole month away. They say it'll be a whole new season for WWE so I'm wondering if it's just a storyline reset...y'know how Wrestlemania is supposed to be, slapping Wrestlemania on other show names doesn't make it Wrestlemania-tier guys.

Universal Championship - Roman Reigns (c) [w/Paul Heyman & Jey Uso] def. Daniel Bryan and Edge (Pinfall on Edge and Bryan via Con-Chair-To) To the Main Event, one of the few storylines in Mania's card that was consistently good in build. Bryan comes out first, camera angles flashing during the YES! chants. Huge pops and smoke rage for Metalingus and Edge enters in white and Red (bookending with Orton), fireworks camera shots though. For once, Roman Reigns enters the Main Event without a chorus of deafening boos, but he takes his time to come out, in his red wreath flanked by Jey Uso and Heyman, cameras cutting to each opponent's faces a bit too much, especially to Bryan. Bad call not to bring in Justin Roberts to announce Edge either. Roman makes sure to hoist the belt while facing both his opponents before the bell.

Reigns starts by suckering Bryan and then going after Edge. He throws Bryan out of the ring where Jey superkicks him and sends him into the steps thanks to Triple Threat rules. Edge eats a superkick from Uso too when he's thrown out as Roman cleans up the announcer's table, as Edge is grabbed by Uso, Reigns is hit by Bryan's suicide dive but eats an Uso superkick, this gives Edge time to throw Uso into the steps, pinballing Reigns against the barricade and apron until bouncing off of the ring post. Edge then sets his sights on Uso, hitting a DDT on the steps to take him out of the equation, medical team swarm Uso as Heyman halfheartedly looks concerned. Edge chases Heyman away and enters the ring with Bryan - a moment which would've been sold better if the camera didn't cut to a close up of Roman alive and well on the outside. Bryan gets the Yes Kicks in the corner but his Super Rana is reversed into a sunset flip, Edge-o-matic but it's only 2. Roman comes back on the apron both men attempting to suplex the other, Bryan slides under Roman and cuts Roman's legs from under him - jawbreaking Edge on the ropes - he hits the Missile Dropkick on Edge, kips up and hits the uppercut, after dodging the lariat he tries to suicide dive Roman but he's caught by the champion and hit with a belly to belly suplex. Edge brings Roman to the ring but gets hit with a clothesline, Roman sets up the Superman Punch but Edge turns it into an Edgecution. He sets up the Spear but Roman knocks him down, Roman sets the Spear but it is reversed in a Sunset Flip, both men collide with spears to take each other out. During a wide shot Bryan goes up top, he lands a diving headbutt on Edge, then on Roman, he pins Roman but only gets 2. Yes Kicks to both men, Roman dodges one and pushes him towards Edge, but Bryan ducks the Lariat and hits the Buisaku Knee, Roman tries the Superman Punch but is kicked in the gut, Buzzsaw Kick! 1, 2, No! Bryan stomps on Roman's head and sets up the Yes Lock, but Edge breaks the hold, so Bryan puts Edge in the Yes Lock and Roman breaks the hold, clubbing at Bryan and powerbombing him onto Edge. After dumping Bryan, Roman pauses before setting up half the steps near the Announcer's Table, he's incited by the 'Roman Sucks' chant and powerbombs Bryan through the Announcer's table, but is then blindsided with a Spear! Edge goes to bring in a chair but Roman keeps his foot on it, he pulls the chair away and tries the Guillotine but Edge locks in the Crossface, as Roman powers out Edge grabs a part of the chair leg that fell off and uses that in his Crossface - a humorous face from Reigns as I pause the vid as well XD - he's about to tap but Bryan grabs the hand, and locks in the Yes Lock! Annoyed that his win is stolen, Edge demands he break the hold, but Bryan refuses, leading to a headbutt fight and Bryan pounding at Edge. Bryan then stomps at Edge's head and looks for the Buisaku Knee, but gets hit by a Spear! Roman tries a Spear but Edge hits one of his own! 1, 2, Bryan pulls the ref out of the ring. Furious, Edge introduces more chairs, hitting Bryan and Edge one after the other. He sets up Con-Chair-To to both men, hits it on Bryan but Jey Uso returns to attack, eats a Spear and a load of Chair Shots, Reigns hits the spear on Edge, hits the Con-Chair-To, drags Edge over Bryan and pins both for the win.

The show closes with pyro and Fireworks as Roman talks trash on his opponents and holds the title aloft, ending Wrestlemania 37.

It was a very good back and forth match, Roman of course relying heavily on Jey's interferences and the animosity between Edge and Bryan to come out on top. Keeping the Spear and the Con-Chair-To for last was the right move and the latter was definitely impactful enough to ensure that Bryan could sleep for a few minutes, especially with his and Edge's history of neck injuries. I bet on Roman because of his past record, how after finally turning heel he gets the right heat and because in Triple Threats involving a Heel Champion and 2 Faces, you either bet on the third man or the heel champion, since the story was that Roman could lose without being pinned I chose the latter, the heel often finds the escape. All three men had great chemistry together and I hope for more, SD's world title scene having an absolute slew of competitors waiting to challenge the head of the table.

Conclusion Overall another good night of wrestling...just not better. There were some super baffling and poor moments in the first half of the show and 3 title changes in a row (as well as 2 live performances in a row) was probably not the best card layout Night 2 could've done. Overall it was still a good show though and as a whole Wrestlemania 37 was a success, if not without its glaring flaws. But it goes to show that a 2-Day Wrestlemania continues to flourish as a new season of WWE kicks off.

#wwe #wwe smackdown #wwe raw #smackdown #raw #wwe wrestlemania #wrestlemania #wrestlemania 37 #wwe wrestlemania 37 #wrestlemania 37 night 2 #bray wyatt #the fiend #alexa bliss #randy orton #nia jax #shayna baszler #tamina snuka #natalya #sami zayn #kevin owens #logan paul #matt riddle #sheamus wwe #apollo crews #big e #big e langston #dabba kato #asuka wwe #KANA #rhea ripley

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Onsra- Chapter  14: Pretty Flowers and Ugly Truths

pairing: vampire!jungkook x female reader

genre: horror, angst, drama, romance

word count: 1.4k

warnings for this chapter: jungoo is a brat again lol

Onsra: ML

Tag List: @xxonyxpearlxx @jjungkook99

les goo hooo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After breakfast, you find Seokjin doing the dishes in the kitchen. You come up next to him and grab a clean dish, taking a dish towel and drying it. Jin smiles at you and hands you another plate, "Thanks for the help, y/n!" You nod silently and the two of you continue to clean the aftermath of breakfast, when Jin suddenly speaks up.

"Look, this house isn't very homey. I'm sorry."

"No, it's beautiful actually."

"Thank you. I try my best." He chuckles and hands you the last cup. "Why don't you go for a walk? The weather is really nice, and the woods aren't so scary in the daytime." You set the glass down after drying it and look at Jin questioningly, "Is it safe out there? I mean, with the other vampires..."

He nods in understanding, but waves off your concern with a flick of his hand, "Vampires don't go out in the sun unless they really have to. For us, it's a bit uncomfy. But, for the ones we're hiding you from, it's excruciating. Besides, we're miles away from where they typically are. You don't have to take a long walk, I just know being cooped up here all day can get to people."

You smile at him and gesture to your outfit, "I'd love to go on a walk. Hopefully I don't run into some handsome gentleman on the way. I don't think he'd be too impressed with me!" Jin laughs and shakes his head, "I'll try to find some other clothes for you girls, but for the time being, I don't think you'll find anyone worth going after in those woods." 

~

You asked Yuri and Ga-In if they wanted to come along, but Ga-In declined, saying she had no pants to be trudging through woods and she promised Taehyung she would help him name his new frog friend. Yuri said she'd rather find a book to read and try to get her mind straight.

So here you are; dirty sneakers and floppy pajamas that catch on branches, making your way through the forest. You found a small trail that kept the old mansion in sight, so you decided to just walk it for a while.

As you continue through the wooded area, you hear birds chirping and you smile to yourself when the soft wind caresses your cheeks gently. Then, you see a tiny white flower on the side of the trail, and you bend down to look at it.

"You're so pretty. Where is the rest of your family?" You quietly ask the lonely little plant. It seems to have just decided to grow in its own spot, away from its kind. You reach out to gently touch a little pedal when you hear footsteps behind you and a deep voice speak up, making you jump.

"Talking to random plants, huh? Why am I surprised?" You stand and turn around to see Jungkook standing there smirking at you.

"Why, yes. Yes, I was."

He just chuckles sarcastically, "You're even crazier than I thought. What are you even doing out here, besides talking to flowers and trying to get killed?"

You raise your brows at that, "Seokjin said it was safe in the daytime." Jungkook nods and gestures at your attire, "All dressed up and pretty I see." He sneers and you try not to blush. You look down at your dirty shirt and sigh, annoyed that he's having this affect on you. Why can't he just stop?

"Why are you talking to me? I thought you hated me."

"I do hate you."

"So, again. Why won't you leave me alone?" You ask in exasperation. Jungkook shrugs and you purse your lips in annoyance. "Well, if you'll excuse me. I'll be going now." You dust off the butt of your floppy pants and move to get past him. Jungkook steps in your way and you glare up at him, "Seriously? Get out of my way."

You push him and walk past, but he grabs your wrist sharply and you hiss in pain, "Ow! Let go of me." When you try to pull away he just holds on tighter, making tears spring to your eyes, "You're actually hurting me, please stop." Jungkook pulls you back to your spot roughly, making you trip and yelp when your wrist gets pinched again.

"What the hell is your problem??" You yank your hand out of his grasp and pull it to your chest, cradling the now red skin. Jungkook stares at you and he doesn't look like he's teasing anymore.

"You're my problem." 

You scoff and shake your head, "What did I even do?? Please inform me and maybe I'll understand!"

You almost shout in surprise when Jungkook's hand clamps over your mouth, his cold fingers pressing into you. He looks around then back at you before hissing angrily, "Stop being so loud! You really are stupid, aren't you?" You mumble something and he takes his hand away slowly before you try to repeat it. You whisper grumpily, "I'm not stupid. Stop calling me that."

"Well, you sure aren't very bright." You pout and he just shakes his head in disbelief, "You're such a child."

"Am not."

"See?"

You grit your teeth and glare at him with all you have. Jungkook just looks at you in disgust, then gestures his arms out to the forest, "You think you can just walk around here, willy nilly. You think some vampire is gonna care if there's sun once they spot a victim? We're standing in the shade you know. Idiot." You look around and realize that he's right, the sun doesn't come through the trees very much. Seokjin probably meant for you to stay in the sun and not too far from the mansion. You bite your lip, then wipe at your eyes. You still have remnants of tears from when he hurt your wrist, which is still something he had no right to do.

"Stop crying."

"Don't tell me what to do, jerk." Now the tears are back, full force. You hate that you're like this, but whenever someone makes you extremely angry, you always end up crying. It's so stupid.

You start walking passed Jungkook, holding your hurt wrist and sniffling. He lets you go, but follows a few paces behind you. "Why are you so sensitive?"

"Leave me alone, Jungkook. You hurt me."

"Oh boo hoo, you got your feelings hurt."

"Why are you being such an ass?"

"Why are you so stupid?"

"Just shut up!" You scream and turn to face him, not caring a devil's inch if anyone hears you. Jungkook stops in his tracks when you start to go off. 

"Why can't you just shut up and leave me alone?! You're nothing but a bully! No, you're worse than a bully. All you do is follow me around and poke and prod at me when I've done nothing wrong! Do you have nothing better to do than this? Go kill a deer and drink its blood or something! Or no, maybe a human, you disgusting monster!" 

You can't control the words flying out of your mouth, all you can see is a blind white-hot fury. When you're finished screaming at him, you turn and run as fast as you can back to the house so he doesn't try to retaliate. Jungkook just stands there, fuming. His fists are clenched so tight that his nails are digging into his palm as he watches you run until you stumble up the stairs leading to the door and throw yourself inside.

~

"I hate him! I can't stand him!" You shout with tears streaming down your face when Jin asks you what happened after he saw you barrel into the house, clutching your wrist and crying. Seokjin goes into motherly-mode the second he sees your wrist is hurt, leading you into the kitchen to sit at the table while he wets a rag with cold water.

"Y/n, what on earth? How did this happen?" Jin gently holds your red wrist and you take in a sharp breath when he puts the cold rag on it.

"Jungkook happened."

You growl and blink back more tears. How hard did he freaking squeeze you? It hurts like crazy. Jin's hand freezes as he moves the rag around the swollen area, "What do you mean? Jungkook did this to you?"

You nod and the vampire hangs his head. Then he lifts it and you see something in his eyes has changed; you can't tell if he's angry, scared, sad, or all three.

"I'm sorry, y/n." He whispers and can't quite look you in the eyes.

"Why are you sorry? Jin you didn't do anything to me." You look at him worriedly and he shakes his head as he carefully puts a pain relief patch on your swollen wrist, "I haven't been entirely honest with you about Jungkook."

Huh?

"If you mean telling me he's an asshole, I've kind of figured that out already." You chuckle tearfully and point at your wrist. Jin doesn't laugh though as he continues to shake his head. Then, he sets the rag down and drags his hands down his face. "Jungkook wasn't always like this." He finally whispers, breaking the silence.

"Jungkook has no excuse for treating you like this. But y/n, please try not to fight with him, for your own good."

"Jin, what are you saying?"

"The vampire...when it bit him...he's not the same-"

"I- I thought you said nothing changed about your personalities. How come Jungkook is different from the rest of you?"  

"Because, y/n. The vampire had him for too long." Jin's voice breaks and he covers his face with his hands.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I mean, he isn't Jungkook anymore. None of his old self is left. If you make him mad enough-"

Your blood runs cold and your heart pounds in your chest at is next words.

"-he'll kill you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: °-°

#bts #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts angst #bts x reader #bts jungkook #bts x you #bts fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fluff scenario #bts angst imagine #bts angst scenario #jungkook fluff #bts jeon jungguk #bts fluff imagines #bts ot7 #bts jungkook angst #bts jungkook imagines #jungkook smut #jk🤧 #bts vampire au #vampire jungkook #bts vampire smut #har har #jeon jungkook #jungkook #onsra

[ghostxraven]

MANDALORIAN TIME

1. grogu? is that like space frodo or what i don’t like it it sounds like a hippopotamus trying to imitate a frog

2. ahSOKA,,, she,,, i was kinda salty abt her tho? like she just kinda showed up then left right after it was kinda lame (and like obviously her wife isn’t gonna be there but come oN i want her wife to be there that’s part of what i’m badly rewriting) also she just didn’t seem right i can understand her,, caution? but she seemed too closed off i miss clone wars ahsoka

3. idk the episode just seemed a little anticlimactic the vibes were wrong to me :( it wasn’t as fun i think and star wars should be fun

anyway stay tuned for a fic never :) (i looked at ao3 to see how the vibes were in the mandalorian section or whatever and it is,,, odd to say the least)

hi pen!!!

1. ok i said this when jordan sent a message but i think it’s 👉👈 kinda cute......he’s a baby yoda frog infant n grogu sounds kinda like goo goo hes Babey. BUT i do understand why ppl wouldn’t like it idk if they should have given him a name at all

2. oh SHE was so fuckin cool i loved her.......obviously ive never seen clone wars so i couldn’t say if she was out of character I trust u tho if u say she was......i thought she was cool n hot n like the jedi have all been killed so caution makes sense 2 me BUT ik she was in rebels and so if she was out of character from that..... :( (i wanna see her wife!! bring us the wife)

3. the planet design wasn’t my favorite but overall i thought the old samurai movie vibes were p neat. i did think that ahsoka being like “ok u found me after a few episodes of trying to get this information AND NOW go to this other planet” was like.....kinda lame but i can overlook it. i liked when they talked about the baby coming from the coruscant jedi temple that was cool

i am EXCITED to see a fic i haven’t checked out the mandalorian tag on ao3 so i??? have no idea what that’s like and im not sure i want to know. i’ve read like one the mandalorian fic and it was Cute but idk if i could guess what the overall vibes would be. weird is ig what i’d say and ur confirming that suspicion so 👁👁

#ty as always for the ask pen! #pi's personal #star wars #treasured mutuals #query on top #the mandalorian spoilers #mandalorian discussion group #pen tag 🖋

[aion-rsa]

The Mandalorian Spiders Explained: Krykna and Star Wars Movie Connections

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The Star Wars: The Mandalorian article contains spoilers.

What seemed like a clear reference to the classic sci-fi horror movie Alien at first turns out to be a major blast from the past easter egg. This week’s episode of The Mandalorian, “The Passenger,” takes us deep into a deadly spider nest where Baby Yoda clearly bites off more than he can chew, all while reintroducing a piece of Star Wars history that goes all the way back to Ralph McQuarrie’s original concept art for the Original Trilogy!

Midway through the episode, Mando and Baby Yoda wander into the nest while searching for the “Frog Lady,” the passenger they’ve promised to transport to the moon of Trask, the only habitable place where the Frog Lady’s unfertilized eggs can survive. But after the trio crash lands on the ice planet Maldo Kreis, Frog Lady worries that the harsh cold will destroy her offspring before they reach their destination, so she takes them to a hot spring inside of a cave that actually doubles as a spider nest.

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

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When Mando and Baby Yoda finally find Frog Lady, the eggs surrounding the hot spring immediately catch the Child’s eye. After all, he really loves eating eggs that don’t belong to him, as the Frog Lady’s poor unhatched eggs learn the hard way. As Baby Yoda approaches one of the spider eggs, it’s hard not to think of John Hurt’s Kane in Alien. The membranous, fleshy spider egg even seems to split open just like the facehugger’s own shell in the Ridley Scott movie. But fortunately, nothing grabs hold of our beloved Force baby’s face, and instead it’s the Child who takes a big, juicy bite out of the goo-covered spider fetus.

Unsurprisingly, this immediately pisses off the rest of the spiders in the nest, who begin swarming the cave and hatching out of the other eggs. Leading the charge is a massive spider queen, who, like the Frog Lady, will do whatever it takes to protect her creepy-crawly children. As soon as this massive spider shows up, Mando, Baby Yoda, and Frog Lady decide to run for their lives — a nice change of pace to how things usually go on the show and an obvious juxtaposition to the start of the episode when Mando easily schooled those Baby Yoda-stealing bounty hunter bozos.

Despite putting up a pretty admirable fight against the swarm, Mando, Baby Yoda, and Frog Lady are eventually cornered inside the Razor Crest’s cockpit, doomed to be eaten by the carnivorous arachnids at some point. Luckily, that’s when New Republic pilots Carson Teva (Paul Sun-Hyung Lee) and Trapper Wolf (The Mandalorian exec producer Dave Filoni) show up with their trusty A280 Blaster Rifles to save the day, taking out the spider queen and what’s left of her brood.

As you’d expect, the presence of giant spiders in the episode has sent some arachnophobes reeling. But those fans who managed to make it through this Star Wars take on a creature feature likely noticed the big spider-themed references in the episode. For one thing, these spiders are very reminiscent of the krykna creatures from Star Wars Rebels, the animated series created and helmed by Filoni himself.

Native to Atollon, the location of a hidden Rebel base in the early days of the Galactic Civil War, the krykna are dangerous carnivorous predators who initially pose a big threat to the Rebels operating on the planet. Not only do the krykna have armor-like skin that’s resistant to laser bolts but they feed off of the negative energy exuded by their prey. When the krykna sense fear, it makes them more prone to attack. Eventually, though, Jedi hero Kanan Jarrus learns to bond with these creatures through the Force, allowing for both groups to share a somewhat peaceful coexistence on the planet (with the help of krykna-repelling beacons, of course).

Interestingly enough, both the krykna and the spiders in The Mandalorian are inspired by a piece of McQuarrie art for The Empire Strikes Back that depicts a giant spider laying eggs on Dagobah as a young Luke Skywalker looks on in awe. The creature in the piece, which never actually appeared in the movie, became known as the “knobby white spider.”

The Knobby white spider was a large landspeeder-sized arachnid-like organism native to the swamp world of Dagobah. pic.twitter.com/Fy8SvZWXkF

— guerrestellari (@guerrestellari) November 13, 2016

While the spider did eventually appear in Legends continuity in the novel Darksaber by Kevin J. Anderson, the knobby white spider is now better known for the offshoots it inspired in the Disney canon. It remains to be seen if Disney will eventually connect the dots between the knobby white spider and the creatures in “The Passenger.” If Filoni’s obvious love of deep-cut Star Wars lore is any indication, I bet they’ll make it official soon enough.

The post The Mandalorian Spiders Explained: Krykna and Star Wars Movie Connections appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/32mkbiK

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[sublime-samantha]

Just a Day in the Office

a/n: I know that i have been dead for the past million trillion years. My first ever fic was overwhelming liked by the Hamilton fandom community. but this is not a Hamilton based pic. this is a fic about  the office… the only blog, that i know of, that does The Office based fics is @theofficeimagines  Anywho,, i hope you enjoy it, whether you follow me or you dont: i hope you enjoy

Pairing: Jim Halpert (The Office U.S) x reader

Prompt(s): “Is that what your parents tell you?” “No, they usually tell me I’m a mistake.” AND “Have you considered space?”

Warning(s): I just typed this up and posted it, no joke, so grammar or spelling errors, unedited 

 a/n 2.0: Y’ALL I LOVE JIM AND PAM TOGETHER WITH AWLL MY HEART, THEY ARE JUST THE CUTES, I WANT ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS EVER TO BE LIKE THEIRS, BUT Y’ALL, JOHN KRASINSKI IS CUTE AS HELL, Y’ALL so imma write the anyway. Oh, ps, the lowercase is toat’s intentional

Background info: if ya care to read dis: You are a salesperson at Dunder Mifflin and sit where the big post is by Stanley and Phyllis.

worlds: about 1,283 - pretty short

it was 8:56 am. four minutes till work officially starts. you and Jim decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. you tell yourself its to change it up a bit, get a bit of exercise, but who are you kidding? you just took the stairs to more time to talk to each other before you have to go sell paper and printers for the next several hours. 

you giggle and smile shyly up at Jim as he opens the office door for you, he smiles at the back of your head and tells you with a chuckle, “okay, yeah, laugh it up sweetheart. i’m not the only one to ever trip while going up the stairs. in fact didn’t you so the exact same thing on halloween?”

you gasped, “Jimmothy, i thought we agreed to never speak of that, besides that you your fault, you were so eager to get in my pants that you wouldn’t let my go for like 30 seconds so i could walk up the stairs.”

Jim hummed,”whatever makes you sleep at night.”

you smiled at Erin as you passed her at the reception desk.

“hey girly.” you smiled and winked at your friend and co-worker Pam as you passed her while walking Jim to his desk. 

“Hey (y/n/n)” Jim responded. Pam glanced at Jim and then you with a half smile.

“woah, Pam, your voice… do like some water or something?” you asked looking at her with a smile.

she hid a laugh and fake cleared her throat, “no i think it was just a frog in my throat.” her phone rang and she smiled at you with that twinkle in her eye and picked up her phone.

you took that as an opportunity to lean down and press a kiss to Jim’s forehead, which was now accessible with him being seated in his swivel chair.

“oh, by the way, remember when you broke our blood oath-”

“-there was no blood, but go on”

“our oath that neither of us would bring up my tripping up the stairs incident, i’m going to steal all of your biggest clients.”

“oh really, cause of i remember correctly, i am better than you,” Jim teased back with a smirk. doing that short pause between each word Jim type of way.

“is that what your parents tell you?”

“nah, they usually tell me i’m a mistake.”

“your patents tell you that too? good cause mine say the same thing about you.

“anywho, imma go back to my desk, but not before i ask my main man Dwight K. Schrute how his weekend was!” you said and put your hand on Dwight’s shoulder, that he immediately shook off.

“(y/n) i do not need to be bothered by unnecessary questions about my free time, that is my business and my business alone. besides, i have bigger things to deal with.” ah, you could just hear Michael say, ‘that’s what she said’..

“and what’s that Dwight?” Jim asked shifting his gaze from you to the beet farmer in question.

“i have a man who wants to buy beets from my beet farm, not that you need to know that”

you and Jim smiled at each other, though your’s was slightly bashful- it always amazes you how Jim can make you so shy and melt into a puddle of goo with just one look, even after years of being together.

you walked to your desk deciding it was time to get started on your work.

11:45, your first out of two breaks, this one and lunch at 1:00. 

you picked up your mug and and went to the break room get another up of coffee.

“Drink anymore of that and you’ll be up all night, causing me to be up all night because when you can’t sleep all you talk about how proud of your sister you are, i get it, your proud that she’s married and had a kid, but i don’t need to hear that at 3:20 in the morning,” Jim said as he walked in, sat his empty mug by the coffee maker, and leant against the counter beside you with his arms crossed.

“okay mister, that was only a couple of times, and i am proud of her, it’s like she’s a little adult.”

“’little adult’?”

“Yes, she is only 21 and she has a husband and a kid, but only 21, so little.”

“M’kay, whatever you say. now hurry up, you take centuries to make your coffee.” 

unbeknownst to you, Jim looked around making sure no one was around and jogged to close the blinds to the main work area. he strolled back to you and wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and let out a puff of air.

although this was overwhelmingly adorable, it was out of character of Jim at the work place.

“have you considered space?” you teased

Jim let out a small puff of air out of his nose as a laugh / response to your teasing, “actually, i don’t think i have, do you think there’s a dictionary somewhere i could look up that definition?”

“yeah, actually, i bet Oscar has one you could use, it would be under the ‘s’ as in space.” you turned your head slightly to put your nose is his hair to hide your smile.

“i suppose we should get back to work..” Jim trailed off.

you sighed, all you wanted to do was be at your house and cuddled up in bed and maybe have some hot chocolate with Jim, perhaps watch some “Parks and Recreation” but that will just have to wait for several more hours.

he slowly unwound his arms from around your waist, you turned to him and grabbed his mug filling it with the fresh coffee and then your mug. you both walked back to your desks, Jim kissing the top of your head head once you had sat down on your chair. 

ahh, 5:00, quittin’ time, second best time of the day. everyone around you started packing up, you grabbed your purse and started putting the small pile of paperwork you had to finish tonight.

you stood up and walked over to Jim, he was putting on his coat and grabbing his brief case, he pushed in his chair and held out his hand for you to grab.

“so how was the rest of your wok day?”

“well, i got Dwight annoyed to the point he went to Michael to complain about me again then Michael told him to go to Toby, who wouldn’t let him file a complaint, then he came back just made of rage… so i’d say it was a successful day.”

you smiled, “well, lets get goin’, bye, Michael!”

“bye bye, catch ya tomorrow, Jim, (y/n)”

you rode down in the elevator and walked out into the parking lot and to your car.

“okay, so who’s gonna be driving back home?” Jim asked.

“rock, paper, scissors?”

“okie dokie, let’s go,” 

“rock, paper, scissors, shoot.” 

“damn, i didn’t wanna drive,” you said while slumping your shoulders

“ahh, too bad, maybe you should practice your skills, cause clearly, as stated before, perhaps i’m better than you, just perhaps.”

you both got in the car and you put the car in the ignition and backed out and started the drive back to your house.

you parked the car out in the drive way.

you both walked hand-in-hand up to the front door. as you got in the house you took off your coats.

“so what do you wanna do you want to do for dinner?” you asked/

“pizza?” 

“sounds like a plan.”

#the office #jim halpert #the office imagine #jim halpert imagine #michael scott #imagine #idk mate #andy bernard #nard dog #the office us #the office one shot #jim halpert x reader

[birdsthatsingaftermidnight]

Unexpectedly Soluble

This was in response to a friend’s prompt, which became the title.

I’ve messed around expanding the world a little, and Doctor Bob became the main character after a while.  When I wrote this I expected it to be Fernanda.

Unexpectedly Soluble It wasn't a mad scientist laboratory, with twisty glass and beakers of mysterious goo; it was a big, airy space with white tiled walls lit by excessive amounts of lamps by night and by excessively large skylights by day. It had everything a laboratory should have – complicated machines that go whirrrr (sometimes even without being kicked first), scores of test tubes, lots of warning signs, pipettes and syringes, things that go clink, several mechanicals (and thus an amount of steam large enough to make complicated hairstyles go limp), and one extremely big and entirely extraneous sink. The sink was an antique; a cast iron thing with taps that had propeller like tops to turn them on and off and a huge rubber plug minus its chain. It wasn’t plumbed in or anything useful, it was just there, perched in the middle of a long stretch of cabinets. Fernanda said it was a conversation piece; everyone else said it was a pain in the arse. Fernanda was the local lab Genius though so they didn’t get a say in the matter. Sometimes she tried to grow plants in it. Currently it was empty. On thinking about it, many were grateful that sinks were the limits of her eccentricities. Rumour had it that there was a Genius over in Mecklenburg who kept poisonous tree frogs. There were two scientists in the lab. They weren’t doing anything complicated with condensers or bunsen burners, in fact Bob was failing to build a house of cards whilst Sergei very carefully cut a minute slice of the Thing off and dropped it into a test tube. A mechanical was watching with what Sergei thought was obvious concern. Given their total lack of facial expression, this wasn’t helping. Bob leaned over his shoulder. She’d put her goggles on, actually over her eyes, and that wasn’t helping either. “What?” Sergei growled. “Don’t let me distract you.” She was wearing her best wide-eyed innocent expression. “Bugger off.” Bob shared a look with the mechanical. It whirred at her and cocked its head to one side, their version of a shrug and a don’t-ask-me. “Are you really sure you want to do that?” She asked just as Sergei was about to add an aqueous solution. Her tone indicated her total belief that he did not want to do that. The mechanical vented a plume of steam and took a step back. Sergei put the pipette down and turned to glare at his colleague. “We’ve tried everything else. We’re heated it up; we’ve cooled it down. We’ve spun it around, irradiated it, magnetised it, hit it with a hammer, tried to pass electricity through it,” they both took a moment to remember that particular event before he went on, “and I even shouted at it. The only thing we haven’t done is add it to water and give it a shake.” “Doctor Plum said not to get it wet.” They both looked around as the mechanicals vented yet more steam. “Given that the lab assistants are powered by really hot water I think it’s already damp. Nothing’s going to happen. It’s completely inert.” “Damp and wet are different things.” Bob paused then giggled, no doubt thinking of something rude. He added the water whilst she was distracted. Bob closed her eyes, waiting for the bang. Nothing happened. She opened them again. “Huh.” “Yeah.” They both stared at the test tube. Clear water. It bubbled a little bit then settled again. Bubble. Settle. Bubble… settle. “So it’s soluble?” Bob suggested. “Apparently. Here,” Sergei thrust the test tube at her and wandered off to consult his notes. By virtue of the steaminess these were of necessity in another room. Bob shook her Solution-of-Thing. It bubbled again. “Doctor Wills!” She jumped. The voice was cranky. The mechanicals stood up straight and saluted and Bob cringed as she turned around. “Er… hello Doctor Plum. How are you?” She hoped the answer would be something like ‘deliriously happy, inclined to throw you a party and here, have a glass of milk’. His scowl didn’t make this seem likely. “Doctor Wills, is that… is that water?” He sounded outraged at the mere suggestion. She held up the test tube and examined it. A couple of bubbles went bloop as she considered the possibilities. “Yes,” she said after a moment. “Mostly.” “And what, Doctor Wills, are you doing with that water?” He folded his arms and tapped his foot in a perfect stereotype of impatience. Rumour had it that he was a hyper-real mechanical programmed with people behaviour that he didn’t quite get. Bob didn’t believe it though. Mechanicals were warm because of the boilers and funky and full of quiet personality. Doctor Plum was thin and weird and was so cold that he would do for when refrigeration broke down. She realised that, as she was running through reasons for building a Plum-mechanical, the real thing was waiting for an answer. Honesty seemed the best policy. “Sergei asked me to hold it.” Plum looked resigned as he sighed. “And where is Doctor Crankshaft?” “Oh, hello Plum.” Sergei had wandered back in. He was as scared of Doctor Plum as anyone, but he hid it behind winding him up. Plum was offended by the lack of honorific and drew himself up. “Doctor Crankshaft, please tell me that you did not get the… specimen… wet?” The water was bubbling again and taking longer to settle down. Bob found this very interesting. “Not all of it.” He scowled again. “You accidentally splashed it perhaps? Because I know, Doctor, that you did not deliberately add water?” Bob grinned. “He squeezed the top of that pipette with total deliberation, sir.” They both looked at her. Doctor Plum seemed to be condemning her frivolous tone; Sergei was certainly annoyed at her butting in only to casually drop him in it. “Then, sir,” she continued solemnly, “We shook it.” Bob had anticipated a fabulous polemic – possibly a personal scolding along the theme of knowing it was a bad idea to let Tešau into a lab environment (speciest slurs were her favourite since it meant she could respond in kind) – but instead Doctor Plum went pale. “Sh-shook it?” “Like this!” Bob exclaimed brightly and woggled the test tube. “See? Ooh! Look!” Sergei leaned over to see while Plum hastily gestured the mechanicals to stand in front of him. They did, nervously steaming. “Doctor Wills,” he began as he backed towards the door, “Any damage to the lab will come out of your…” He didn’t get to finish. There was a popping sensation and the world went yellow-white before calming down to a sort of creamy colour. It felt like being wrapped in a soggy duvet and it was getting hard to breathe. Then there was clanking and hot, damp air, and when sight and consciousness returned they were outside, having been dragged there by the mechanicals. Bob was still being cradled by one of them and since she was quite comfortable and warm she didn’t ask to be put down. Instead, she looked up at the something very frothy coming out of the broken skylights and pouring through the door. She was covered in goo, the consistency of which reminded her of collapsed meringues. It was going to take ages to get clean again. She wondered if it tasted nice then stopped herself before she licked a hand, wondering just in time if it was toxic. “Where’s Sergei?” Sergei was open jawed, looking at the mess. “Buh…” Doctor Plum was trying to clean himself up with a little hanky. “Doctor Crankshaft, you were told, in no uncertain terms, not to add water.” “Ahm… Th… Buh…” “And furthermore, you were instructed very clearly not to allow Bubastet Wills to come anywhere near it.” “Hey!” He ignored Bob’s indignation. “With all this in mind, I…” “Oh wow!” Bob craned her neck to look over the shoulder of the mechanical and smiled. Hopefully this meant she and Sergei were off the hook. “Repeatable experiments! My favourite! It did that when I added water too. Good for you, Serj! Hallo Abraham. I thought you were going to ask him not to do that?” Doctor Plum sighed, defeated. “Hello Fernanda. I did ask him not to do that, but as you see,” He waved a hand, “Doctor Wills happened.” “Sergei put the water in,” Bob muttered, grumpily sure that she was going to get all the blame just because she’d shaken it. “Awesome! Tešau science for the win!” Fernanda grinned, entirely happy. “Hey Florence,” She patted one of the mechanicals who whirred happily, “Would you mind rescuing my sink? Look!” She held up a chain from which swung a rubber disk, “I got a mint plug!”

#Doctor Bob #Geniuses #story

[thetourguidebarbie]

15 min drabble, Klaroline as the lily and James Potter, bonus if Kol, Enzo, and Marcel make up the Marauders (but all Slytherin, obvi)

Caroline was in a mood.

Was it too much to ask for just one day where Klaus Mikaelson and his group of sycophants didn’t ruin literally everything?

She’d woken up that morning with a bright smile. It was nice and sunny outside and she was looking forward to a lazy Sunday with some reading and pick-up Quidditch. She’d given her owl a quick scritch on its head (Tyler preferred to perch in his cage by her window rather than in the owlrey), taken a quick shower while belting out Daphne Greengrass’s latest number one hit, and pulled on her favorite sundress. She was even humming as she walked down the stone steps to the common room.

That’s when everything went wrong. 

Her entire calf was suddenly dipped in a sticky swamp-like substance, complete with a very brightly-colored (and therefore possibly poisonous???) frog, and she’d screamed, jerking away. When she glanced down she felt an angry heat build in her cheeks, her teeth clenching. Not only was her leg caked in gelatinous dirt-filled goo, the hem of her dress splattered with brown stains, and she was not pleased. She knew exactly who had done this, could practically see the smug, smirky dimpled smile in her mind’s eye, and she vowed for the fifty-sixth time to make his life miserable.

It had taken her a good half an hour to make it vanish, and by the time she had cleaned up, re-showered, and re-dressed she was livid, her fingernails biting into her palms as she stalked down the halls looking for the only person who could make her want to punch him in the face and then tempt her into losing her normally perfect control and actually going through with it.

It had happened once and had been immensely satisfying. The forty points from Slytherin had been completely worth it, and Professor Abbott had awarded them all back at the next class period anyway.

She finally spied him by the tapestry of the talking teacups on the fifth floor (one of his and his idiot friends frequent hangouts), and he looked up with a smirk as she stormed over. He was in his muggle clothes, his henley hanging off of him in a way that should be illegal, and that just made her more angry. His friends were all looking at her with the same look of trepidation and fear. She had no sympathy. Maybe they shouldn’t hang out with such an asshole if they didn’t want to get in trouble.

“Mikaelson!” she yelled.

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

She pulled out her wand, though she didn’t cast anything (yet), instead standing nose to nose with him, her eyes narrowed, his breath hot on her lips. “Did you set off a portable swamp in the Slytherin common room?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” he said easily, a wicked glint in his eye, and she bared her teeth, whirling around to face Marcel, Enzo and Kol, who were all edging away from them. 

“You can go,” she snarled, and they didn’t wait around for her to change her mind, hurrying off towards the library. She turned back to Klaus, breathing hard. “What the hell was that for?”

“The swamp? Were I to have set it off, which I did not, it would have been a harmless prank, sweetheart.”

She laid her hands on his chest, her wand still in her grip and spitting out small sparks dangerously close to his cheek. “It wasn’t harmless.”

“Caroline, sweetheart...” he said cajolingly, his hands landing on her hips, squeezing lightly, and she huffed, glaring at him. 

"Seriously, Klaus! I could take points for this. Should, actually.”

“And will you?” he asked, smirking, and she huffed, looking anywhere but at his mouth, so close and sweet and tempting...

"It got all over the hem of my favorite dress,” she said exasperatedly. “You know that the goo from the portable swamp doesn’t come out!"

“Guess you’ll just have to cut it shorter, then,” he said, his fingers fiddling with her curls as the other drifted down to rest on her lower back, and she groaned, pushing him away.

“Wrong answer, buddy. Twenty points from Slytherin, twelve galleons for a new dress, and your tongue on me behind that tapestry as an enthusiastic apology in the next thirty seconds.”

“If the lady insists.”

Send me a drabble or multi-chapter fic I’ve done and I’ll write you a fifteen minute mini-sequel, or a tiny prompt for a fifteen minute drabble!

#klaroline #klaroline drabble #klaroline drabbles #mydrabbles #my fanfiction #otp: annoyingly perfect #anon #ask #answer

[flighty37-blog]

Well I’ve Had Just Enough Time

Summary: Something goes terribly wrong. Who would’ve thought it? Dan and Phil. Some specter is after all the males in Dan’s life, and he’s next. Something has to be done. Phil dies of unusual (to his nature) circumstances. Dan’s father and brother, (Adrian)disappear, Martyn, (Phil’s brother) is committed. And Dan is running scared. Horror/drama/supernatural. **

Major and minor character deaths, mentions of slitting wrists. Dying. Death. Bleeding out.

Disclaimer I wrote  this before the London Bridge Tragedy, and I apologise if, some people think I’m disrespecting it. I am not. I love London, and one day, I hope to see it in its full glory. In real Life HD.

So it ends:

This was it. The last straw. The end of it all.

The empire of awkwardness had thoroughly crumbled. The era had ended. It was over. It was finished. Things were spiraling. A pale hand drew the lapel of the coat closer to his neck. The scarf was doing nothing against the biting wind. The air was thick with fog. Welcome to London. The boots scraped against the cobblestones. So what if the city roads were mostly asphalt, but the cobblestones remained from a different time.

A different place.

His breath excreted hot air that spun about his head in icy puffs. Let the wind blow. Let whatever deities that were around, if there were any, take him now. Please.

“Go on! Take Me! Do IT!” He screamed into the night air, his arms now outstretched and he looked up at the unforgiving sky; it hid the stars and the moon. It hid everything except for the twinkling lights in the houses. Houses that were full of happiness, of joy.

There was no joy in the maisonette.

There was nothing but anger and sorrow. Anger over something stupid. Sorrow over something that could have been repaired if they weren’t so hot headed, so stubborn. So full of regret now.

But it could never be repaired, Phil was dead. He had cut his wrists and he’d bled out. Phil was gone. Dan had carried his limp, lifeless body downstairs and had called the ambulance, and the funeral home. They had taken his body away hours ago. They had asked him about arrangements for the funeral.

But no. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to cleanse himself from any sins, from every sin. Which is hard to do when you’re an atheist. Agnostic, he corrected himself.

Whatever he believed in, he alternately disbelieved in. That’s how it worked didn’t it?

“Take me you idiots. Take me! I deserve to go. The writers always kill Phil off first, and then I do myself in. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Isn’t he supposed to come back as a vampire? Isn’t he supposed to melt into goo when Harry Styles exits his body?

Isn’t that the way Fuckin’ Fanfiction Works?! Assholes!”

He’d looked behind him, just in case Phil had become the first undead in history. It’d be just like Phil to become an undead, it’d be in his nature. He bowed his head against the wind that was furiously blowing. The trees were bowing, and swaying. They were mourning a life that was gone too soon. What had happened that Phil would just take his life?

Phil. The one full of energy. The one full of light. The one whose eyes sparkled when he ate ice cream, when he got chased by a squirrel. Whenever he would entertain Dan.

“Fuck Life!” Dan said, as he steered himself towards London Bridge. He knew it’d be busy. But he didn’t care.

Let him get hit by a damned car. Let all the fanfictions come true.  He’d get hit by a car, eaten by a wolf. Be decapitated somehow. He’d jump off the bridge if none of the above happened. He steadily walked on the pedestrian’s side of the bridge. Head still bowed, mouth open breathing out the breath he still had left. Kicking small pebbles out  of the way.

“Fuck You!!!!” Dan yelled against the torturous wind. It wasn’t like it couldn’t snow at any time. But snow wasn’t in the forecast. “Neither was Phil dying. Phil’s suicide wasn’t in the cards. He was only thirty….” Dan’s voice trailed off.

He had debated on whether he should inform the rest of the family about Phil’s passing and he pulled out his phone. He’d call his second mother.

‘“Cath?” His voice shook.

“Daniel?” Her voice was in the concerned range now. Then it would escalate to anger, and then sadness.

“I have some bad news,” Dan gulped.

“What is it? Is it Phil?” Catherine asked.

“Yeah. I mean, yes. Mrs. Lester, it is my regret to inform you that, Philip Michael Lester committed suicide by slitting his wrists earlier this morning. I’ve called the local funeral home, and his body is there for the moment. Mummy, I need you,” Dan completely broke down.

He’d never called Catherine ‘Mummy’, not even in jest. The anguished cry that fell upon his ears made Dan pull away from the receiver.

“He’s not!” Catherine said….Denial. “He can’t be.” Uncertainty. “No he isn’t! God please don’t let it be.” Bargaining.

“Mum?” Dan’s voice broke through to her.

“I’m coming. Call Martyn,” Catherine said decidedly.

“I don’t think I can. Cornelia’s the only one at their flat. Martyn’s been taken to the local mental institution. She said he was going absolutely, stark raving, mad. It hit him all of a sudden, and then Phil….” Dan gulped again.

“Phil….He wasn’t acting like himself. He’d been, he was doing...God I don’t remember. It’s all a blur. And I think I have it now. This, this, this overwhelming desire to, do something bad. Something I know that will hurt me and others around me. I don’t want to be like this Mum,” Dan said again.

“Where are you?” Catherine asked.

“London’s Bridge,” Dan said.

“The London’s Bridge?” Catherine’s voice wobbled, but she wanted to make sure of his location. She couldn’t lose him too. It was her duty as his surrogate mother, to keep him safe.

“Yeah,” Dan said, his voice getting slower and thicker.

“Don’t do anything rash. I’ll ring your mother,” Catherine said.

“But….I don’t….I tried ringing her. She’s not answering. Neither is my father. Neither is Adrian. But Adrian never answers his phone….” Dan’s voice trailed off once again.

“Go to somewhere warm. Go to a pub,” Catherine pleaded.

“I can’t. It won’t let me,” Dan said.

“What won’t let you?” Catherine asked.

“He won’t let me. He’s followed me. He’s controlling my movements, where I go.... He’s not a ‘he’ in the normal sense of things….He….It’s….I’m….” He swung a leg over the rampart of the bridge. Then the other leg followed suit until he was seated and overlooking the Thames River.

“I have to go Catherine. He’s calling me. Tell my mother, tell Dad, tell Nigel, tell everyone that I love, goodbye for me. I’ll leave my phone on the bridge part….” His voice was gone. Caught up in the wind.

The water looked so inviting, its liquid swirling a bit, steam rising from frothy pools.

“I’ll go and join Phil. He needs me. I’m his friend….” Dan was dazed. He was slurring his words.

“Daniel? Daniel?!” Catherine’s voice only slightly penetrated Dan’s hazy brain.

“No, it’s too late. They’re both calling to me. I’ve got….I’m going….I love you all!” Dan was just about to jump when something grabbed the back of his arm, lurching him off of the bridge.

It was a policeman. “Young man, what are you doing on this bridge? You know it’s illegal to be up here,” the policeman kindly said.

“You don’t understand officer. I have to. He’s told me I have to. I’ve got to join Phil, and my….and the others. He’s said so,” Dan babbled.

“Come along,” the officer frog marched him to the waiting car. But Dan wriggled out of the grip, and made a beeline for the bridge again.

“No!” Dan shouted. He looked beyond the officer, and saw ‘Him’.

“Come Daniel….Join us….I have Phil….He’s waiting for you….” The specter said. “

What’s your name?” Dan breathed in and out irregular breaths. He put his hand over his heart.

“I am the one you summoned for your video. The one called ‘Him’....or Geoffery if you would prefer to put a mortal name on myself,” ‘Geoffery’ answered.

“Jeffery, you know with a ‘J’,” Dan managed. He didn’t notice the police officer scratching his head, and calling for backup.

“Jump Daniel. It’s not so far. All you’ve feared will be laid to rest once you’ve given up the mortal coil,” The specter said in a soft lilting, melodic tone.

“Philip listened. He’s waiting for you,” The tone became scathing, almost angry.

The bony finger pointed at the bridge. The tattered cape blowing in the breeze. But this breeze around him was hot, and smelled of sulfur. Dan wrinkled his nose at the smell. He regained his spot on the bridge, the cold wind blowing the back of his head, his hair blowing, and then he saw Phil’s face in the water.

“Hi Dan, it’s okay. Don’t fight it anymore. I’m lonely without you….” Phil’s voice and face faded away.  

“Phil! No!” Dan scrambled down the side of the bridge, hanging by one hand above the river, the river became frothier, it swirled in zigzag patterns, and there was a slight whirlpool in a corner somehow.

The wind picked up and began a howling so fierce, it brought even more fear to him.  

Just then a hand reached out and pulled him onto the bridge again. This time he was in a kneeling position and someone had ensconced themselves around him, caressing his head, talking soothingly to him.

“Daniel….Sweet sweet  child,” she said. “I’m here,” she continued.

“C-Catherine?” His teeth were chattering now. He was so cold, so empty. Nothing meant anything anymore.

“It’s me. Your mother is waiting….Something’s happening to the men, and she’s beside herself. We’ll save you Love,” Catherine promised.

“Nobody can save me. Jeffery, he wants me. Phil….Phil’s all alone. Phil’s cold. Phil’s never cold! Martyn….Martyn left Cornelia….What’s happening? Make it stop Catherine….Make it stop...Please?” He pleaded. His vision was so clouded,  he couldn’t see straight.

“I’ll bring you to your mum’s,” Catherine said.

“Where’s Adrian? Where’s my dad?” Dan was trying to come to his senses.

“Susan doesn’t know. She went out for a bit of milk, and when she came back your father and he, they were gone. No note. Nothing,” Catherine helped the young man to his feet.

“Jeffery’s got them. They’re not coming back either….Phil, Phil was raging and then he went into the bathroom, not the loo….The bathroom. He found a razor. He-He-He cut his wrists, he bled out before I could get the door open. The door wasn’t even locked. Something was keeping him in. I couldn’t get to him Catherine. I tried! And when I could get to him….He was gone! The light was gone!” He trembled as they walked to the waiting taxi.

His knees buckling underneath him. “I’m going soon too. I won’t be here any longer. He’s taking us all. You and Mum, you’ll be all alone. I’m s-sorry,” Dan gulped. His breathing became sharp,and his chest constricted.

“I-I can’t help it. He’ll be here. Soon. He’ll catch up with me….With us….He wants revenge. He wants what’s owed to him. And he knows how to get it. He wants me,” Dan leaned against her. Using his whole body, pushing against her. Needing her. But trying to protect her at the same time.

“If….IF…..Someone’s got to tell our audiences,” Dan finally spoke lucidly. At least for a moment.

“Please save your strength.  We’ll be at your mother’s house soon as we can. Try and sleep Sweetie,” Catherine soothed.

“How did you get here so fast? The Isle of Man is so far,” Dan slurred.

“I was already in the city,” Catherine said.

“But how?” Dan was demanding. He was also tired, and he glanced out the window. The reflection was distorted. And then ‘His’ face appeared, and then Phil’s face flashed before him. Then Martyn’s face, then his dad’s face, then it was Adrian. Then it began to loop.

He quickly shut his eyes.

“What you’ve been through….” Catherine started.

“He wants me. He won’t stop no matter how hard we try. I need you and Mum to go online and tell our audience. Tell them we went the best way we knew how, to end the torment. To sacrifice ourselves so that our loved ones can live,” Dan said, as he blinked his eyes, trying to adjust his sight.

He felt as if, he was going blind now. Grief, terror, filling every fiber of his being. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could, whilst urging the driver to drive faster, to get them to their destination quicker.

“I’m going as fast as I can. Traffic’s a bit of a trial,” the man bit off the expletive before it could be aired out. He was in the presence of a lady after all.

“Thank you. That’s all I ask,” Catherine turned her attention back to Dan.

“Daniel?” It was so strange to say his full name. He’d been ‘Dan’ for so long, but he’d grown up as well. He wasn’t eighteen anymore. Though he’d always be eighteen in her eyes. That was the age she’d adopted him after all.

“Yes?” He responded, he only responded to Daniel now.

“Daniel, we’re almost there. You rest against me, and I’ll wake you when we’re there,” Catherine soothed.

“Alright, and I’m sorry for calling you Mummy,” Dan said.

“You were, are, in panic mode. You’re grieving. I understand, and I’m glad you at least got through to me. Though your mother is worried sick. She said she never received any phone calls from you,” Catherine continued.

‘Tha’s b’cause He blocked them,” Dan’s voice was slurring again, as he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

“Shhh….” She patted his head, and shifted so he would be more comfortable.

They made it to Reading in record time, and a lot of money out of pocket. Catherine didn’t mind. Though she was on a frugal budget. Getting Daniel to safety was her top priority; not only as a friend but as his adoptive mother. Susan didn’t mind ‘sharing custody’ of Daniel.

She quite enjoyed the friendly rivalry of hers and Catherine’s ‘mothering techniques ’. Though Catherine was more ‘home centered’, Susan was business centered, letting her children ‘fend for themselves’ more often than not. Not being there all the time. But she wasn’t cold or heartless. She was warm and inviting in her own way.

Not exactly standoffish, but she was reserved. Catherine cracked the jokes, Catherine made the small talk. But Susan would keep up her end of the conversations, filling in the gaps wherever necessary. Susan was a mother, just a different kind of mother. But when her boys were hurting, if they ever needed anything, she was always there to lend a motherly hand.

She met them at the door, as Catherine stumbled, half supporting, half walking with Daniel, Susan took Daniel’s other side and she supported them both the rest of the way inside the house. Her eyes were red rimmed, and Catherine went to make a pot of tea whilst Susan settled Daniel horizontally on the sofa bed. She’d covered him in a duvet, and put a load of pillows behind his head.

“You’re trembling Son,” Susan said.

“Because he’s coming. Like the Nothing in that television show,” Dan said, and his teeth continued chattering, though there was a roaring fire going on in the fireplace and he was covered in a warm duvet.

“Phil’s gone Mum,” Dan felt the tears roll down his cheeks, the ache was so real.

The weight on his chest made it hard for him to breathe correctly.

“He’s gone Mum, and I couldn’t save him!” Dan struggled to sit up.

But Susan gently and firmly pushed him back down again. “Save your strength,” Susan accidentally repeated what Catherine had told him earlier in the taxi.

“Sometimes you and Cath are so similar it’s a wonder you’re not bosom buddies as well,” Dan tried to joke, but ended up coughing instead.

“How do you know we’re not best friends?” Susan tried to joke back, to calm her eldest.

“Because you’re not. You’re always so busy. You’re always going on and on about the realtor business,” Dan retorted, his pulse slowing down finally as the fight or flight instinct drained away.

“We’re mothers. Sometimes mothers think alike. Strange but true. Sometimes mothers have a hidden psychic connection, and even if we don’t know about each other, we’re still the same. We’re put on this earth to love and protect our children. Like Catherine and I are trying to do now. Trying to save you,” Susan said, in an unusually long speech.

Catherine chose at this time to return with a tray of tea. Silently obeying the unspoken request to sit up, Dan sat upright and Catherine served him some tea and savoury biscuits.

His hand shook so much on the way to his mouth, that both mothers took a hold of his wrist and guided the biscuit to his mouth.

“Shall I steady the teacup?” Susan asked. Dan nodded, as tears spilled down his cheeks again. Suddenly his whole body stiffened, and like before at the bridge, he looked beyond the women.

“Did you miss me Daniel? I missed you. I see you’ve gotten back up. They won’t last long. They’re roadblocks to be sure, but I’ll be back to get you. You’re mine Daniel. Just like Philip; like Adrian, like your father, like Martyn, like Nigel….All mine. You’re next. You’re my trophy sacrifice. The reason they’re gone is because of you. It’s all your fault. Your time on earth is short. Say goodbye to the earth. Nothing can stop me,” the voice cackled and the specter was gone again.

The savoury biscuit dropped the teacup spilled across his knee, and Susan took the cup and saucer from him. Catherine took the biscuit. He was slumped against the sofa again. He was shaking again; shaking his head, and his lips were trembling.

“He came again. Didn’t you see him? Can’t you see that you can’t protect me?! I’m not getting out of here, unless I go with him. You two had better make yourselves scarce,” Dan weakly spoke.

Just then the phone rang. It was Cornelia. She was hysterical. Unusual for her. She was usually stoic, soft spoken.

“Catherine?” Her voice was shaking.

“Nikki?” Catherine put the phone on speaker so that Cornelia’s voice was heard by all.

“He’s come for me Catherine. Martyn’s come for me. He’s swinging a knife, and he’s going to kill me!” She shouted, and it sounded as if she were running for her life.

“Get out of the flat somehow. Come to us Nikki. We’re at Susan’s place. It’s a safe place,” Catherine pleaded.

“We’ll help you Cornelia,” Susan put in.

“I-I”m afraid. It’s not Martyn. It’s his body. It’s his face. It’s not Martyn. It’s evil. It’s giving me chills,” Cornelia said, as a squeaking noise sounded. Almost sounding as if a window were opening.

“I’m jumping down the fire escape. If I can outrun him, I’ll be there in half an hour….” Cornelia’s voice cut off, and the line went dead.

“Don’t you see? I have to get back to the bridge!” Dan stood and wobbled towards the door.

Two pairs of arms took him back to the sofa, and back under the duvet he went.

“I’m useless here. I’m better off dead! Don’t you Understand?!”

The fire whooshed, and it was soon out. A plume of smoke flew down the chimney morphing into a transparent specter with sharp nails, a face that was only an outline. Both women jumped.

“Did I Frighten You? Good. I’m Here For The Boy,” ‘He’ spoke.

Both women stood their ground, and formed a united barrier between the sofa and the horrible thing before them. “Then you’ll have to go through us first,” Catherine challenged.

“A mother’s love is unrivaled. Therefore the two of us can and will, defeat you,” Susan answered, as a feeling of anger overtook her, and she balled her hand into a threatening fist.

“You’ll have to do more than that to get me to back down. I’m ultimate power, more than you two weak humans are able to comprehend,” ‘Jeffery’ said.  

“Leave my mums alone!” Dan was sat up again. He swung his legs over the side of the sofa, and with the most strength, as he could muster, he stood in front of the two most important people in his life.

“Take me. Spare them. Don’t take Martyn. I consent. Let Martyn be. Let Dad come back, let Adrian come back….Let...Let the others come back. Let Phil come back….” Dan’s voice wavered. But he was resolute.

“Tempting as your offer is, I don’t think I’ll let Philip come back. He’s mine fair and square. He’d chosen to take his own life,” ‘Jeffery’ answered, a couple of wispy fingers touching the outline of his chin.

“Not if he’d been in his right mind he wouldn’t have chosen that route. He’s Roman Catholic, and they believe that suicide is wrong. Me? I’m Agnostic. I’m a better choice. A better candidate,” Dan fired back.

“Pathetic,” ‘Jeffery’ scoffed.

“I’m offering my life for theirs. For each life you’ve taken,” Dan responded.

He was shaking with renewed energy and anger.

“I’m ready. I’ve been ready my whole life. I don’t have a soul. It’s a dark, barren wasteland in there. I’m sad. I’m dreary. Even though I’ve re-branded. It’s not enough. If I’m the sole human you need, to complete this….Whatever it is….Take Me You Asshole!”

“Not everything can be solved by a pathetic meat sack demanding something from me. I’m as old as time itself. I take what I want, when I want it. This standoff is a waste of my time….” ‘Jeffery’ smirked.

With a flick of the ancient’s wrist, Dan felt red hot liquid shoot through his entire being. He fell to his knees, and he gasped for the very last breath of air he could manage. As the enraged, and shocked mothers looked on, he crawled, haltingly towards the specter. The being seemed to be sucking the life essence out of him. The women were powerless, and had to stand to the wayside, as every last ounce of life was drained out of him. Dan’s body deflated, and he sagged into a lifeless mound.

“Tell them….I loved….Them….I….Love You!” Were his final words.

Then it was over. Finished. Had it really happened? Had things happened the way they’d just seen? So many questions. So little answers. A knock on the door sounded, and the  fleshy mound disappeared into the floor. Sucked dry by the specter as it disappeared into the nothingness. Susan took a deep breath. Whatever was on the other side, it couldn’t be good.

Catherine went with her. Perhaps it would turn out to be good news? Side by side they walked to the door. Determined to fight some more if need be.

“If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed roses...Sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song, ….Lord make  me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother  she’ll know I’m safe with you, when she stands under my colours; and no life ain’t always what you think it ought to be… Ain’t even grey but she buries her baby….” A song was heard through the streets.

“I recognise this song. It’s American. But it’s fitting,” Catherine said, as she put a hand on the knob, Susan put hers on top and the door was flung open.

Cornelia was on the other side. She was breathless and had a bit of blood on her shirt.

“Cornelia, Darling,” Susan breathed out.

“Nikki!” Catherine buried her almost daughter into a hug.

“He’s gone,” Cornelia breathed out.

“Gone? How?” Susan asked.

“He just...He became slimy goop and disappeared into the ground,” Cornelia answered.

Then she continued, “Where’s Dan?”

The two women looked at the ground, then back up at the redhead, as they ushered her inside. They made her a cup of still piping hot tea.

“You’re hurt my Darling,” Catherine indicated the blood.

“Not mine,” Cornelia answered, as she shakily took a sip of the tea.

“His?” Susan ventured, as Cornelia slowly nodded, and focused on the far wall behind the two concerned women.

“They’re all gone. Aren’t they?” She whispered.

“I’m afraid so,” Susan said. “Then we’ve got to tell the world,” Cornelia decided.

“We’ve got to make sure that the Phans know. Soon it’ll spread word of mouth, internet to internet connection. This isn’t happy news,” Catherine decided.

“No it isn’t,” Cornelia pursed her lips and headed for Twitter first.

This would be the beginning of a whole new line of work. A work that two young men had started as a hobby; and three women would carry on. Though it wouldn’t be the exact same. They would make an effort, in memory of two nerds, who had dared to share their lives with the world.

Epilogue 2 years later:

“Well that’s about it. As far as I know we’ll be broadcasting on YouNow Thursdays and Tuesdays. Just as usual. We’re here for questions and answers, and of course Catherine and Susan will be doing their recipe-off. You know the one where they compete about who has the best recipe for the same meal,” Cornelia smiled into the camera.

She would do these ones alone, and then Tuesday she would trek to Susan’s house and they would go through recipes, and then on Thursday, they would FaceTime with Catherine and then would come the ultimate ‘Bake Off’ on YouNow, as the recipes were tested.

“For all of you loyal viewers out there we’ve got a poll on Twitter that you can cast your votes at. Goodbye My Little Swedish Meatballs!” Cornelia waved and blew a kiss at the camera.

She shut it off, and using Dan’s and Phil’s instructions, edited the video, then uploaded it. She took a small walk around the new flat. She couldn’t bear to be in hers and Martyn’s old flat, so she’d rented out a smaller flat. She took down a picture from the mantle and kissed it. She still loved him.

Just then a small bark caught her attention and a tiny Maltese yipped at her again.

“Come along Martie, I suspect you’re hungry,” Cornelia cradled the small dog in her arms and padded to the kitchen.

Things hadn’t gotten any easier. Bearable? Yes. Easier? No. She still missed him, missed them. But life still went on.

The End.

#Dan and Phil Martyn & Cornelia fic

[lizziebathory42]

Stardew Valley Stories

A one-shot ficlet. Sebastian/Fem. Farmer. Sebastian, Abby and Sam convince the Farmer to wear a GoPro while in the mines.

Sebastian opened his bleary eyes slowly. The glowing display of his clock told him it was late afternoon. He threw off the blankets, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He’d been up late finishing a project and still felt fuzzy. Yawning hugely, he made his way up the stairs, heading for the kitchen and some brain clearing caffeine.

“Sebby!” His mother called from her counter. He winced. He hated the childish nickname but had given up on asking his stubborn mother to call him his preferred Seb or the more mature, Sebastian. He turned to walk into the foyer, the smells of cut wood and sap drifting up to meet him.

“The Farmer dropped this off for you this morning,” She said, gesturing to a small cloth sack sitting on her countertop. Sebastian frowned, taking the bag and glancing inside. It was the GoPro he’d lent her. He grinned suddenly.

“Thanks mom!” He leaned over the counter and kissed her cheek, “Would you like a coffee?” Robin shook her head, lifting her almost full mug from behind her cash register.

“No thanks sweetie.” She replied. Sebastian didn’t see her eyes narrow as he entered the hallway, or the worried look she gave his retreating back as he took his coffee and bag into the basement. Robin was concerned by how much time the Farmer seemed to be spending with her son. She knew her son was sensitive, perhaps a bit sheltered and worried the city slicker who’d moved into the abandoned farm would break his heart when she inevitably left Stardew Valley.

Sebastian, blissfully unaware of the worry happening on his behalf upstairs, sat down at his computer. He took a long draught of his coffee, set the mug aside and opened the rough bag. Inside he found the small, square camera, the mounting plate he’d screwed onto the Farmer’s mining helmet and a note tied to what felt like a rock. He pulled the knot apart, smoothing the note out. She had tied it to a Yeti Tear.

He held the small, smooth white stone in his hand while he read the short note. He liked the way the stone glittered, like rainbows were caught in the crystalline material. It amazed him how it stayed cool, almost cold, no matter how hot it was outside. The writing of the note was crabbed and spidery, as if the writer was in a great hurry to get their thoughts down. There was a mysterious green smudge on one corner of the crumpled paper.

S,

I tried to clean the gunk off your camera, sorry.

                               -F

Sebastian looked closer at the camera. Sure enough, in the crevices he could detect crusty remains of something. He shrugged, the device was designed to get dirty. It was just like the Farmer to be concerned about returning it in less than pristine condition. He chuckled softly to himself as he connected the device to his computer and imported the video file.

He’d gotten to know the pretty farmer over the past few months. She would often come to visit him after doing business with his mother, bringing him fresh carp sashimi and sitting with him as he ate. They would talk about comic books and computer games for hours. Sebastian didn’t take it too seriously. The rumours around town were that the Farmer brought everyone gifts. It didn’t mean anything special. They were just friends anyway. He appreciated how she would leave him alone if he told her he was working. She was one of his few friends who seemed to respect his job.

A small window popped up on his computer screen, indicating the video had been completely loaded.  It was one hundred minutes long. He double clicked and opened the video, making the small window full-screen so he could watch comfortably.

The video began pointed into the Farmer’s face, her brow furrowed in concentration. The view was a blur of stones, then the inside of the rickety elevator. Sebastian had only ever seen it from the outside, when he’d wandered into the entrance of the mine out of curiosity. Now he watched as the Farmer pried the doors open, stepped in and pressed one of the glowing buttons. This one was labelled 70, the small black number standing out against the shining yellow button.

The elevator made an awful racket, clanking and chuffing as it descended, but Sebastian was pretty sure he could hear the Farmer humming the Flower Dance. He thought about how last year she’d asked him to dance and he’d turned her down, not knowing the newcomer well enough. Oh how things had changed!

It was only last Friday when she had been sitting with Abigail as he and Sam had their weekly pool match.

“Oh,” Abigail had cried suddenly, “I wish I could get that deep in the mines! I would love to see what it looks like down there and all the delicious minerals you’d find!” The Farmer had only chuckled, shaking her head.

“It’s very dangerous that deep, Abby.” She said, “You’ll need a lot more sword practice before you go.” Abigail had pouted and flicked her purple hair over one shoulder. Sebastian loved his friend, but she was still as bratty as when they had been little kids catching frogs together.

“Maybe you could, like, film it or something.” Sam suggested from across the pool table. The Farmer lifted one shoulder in a half shrug, still smiling.

“I don’t have a camera,” She admitted, “and I don’t think I could film and mine at the same time.” She had shifted in her seat, looking uncomfortable. Sebastian felt bad for his two friends putting her on the spot. Before he could change the subject, Sam was continuing.

“Seb has a camera you can mount to your head or chest.” Sam blushed pink on the last word. The Farmer hid a smile. Sebastian knew his friend had a crush on the Farmer, he wondered if she knew it too. “It’s waterproof and really small, so it shouldn’t get in your way.” She turned her large, soft eyes on Sebastian then. They were shining with curiosity.

“That sounds neat! I wouldn’t mind filming,” she said, “but if Seb doesn’t want to lend it out I’d understand.” Sebastian had shrugged, keeping his face carefully neutral.

“I don’t mind.” He said, casually lining up a shot. “I can bring it over tomorrow, show you how to set it up.” He didn’t want to admit it, but he too was curious to see the deep innards of the mines and wanted to watch the Farmer in action.

He was getting his wish now. The first level she stepped out in had been fairly tame. The angle of the camera allowed him to only really see her hands, giving the film a first-person shooter video game feel. He watched as she smashed rock after rock with her steel pickaxe. No wonder she was hard with muscle! She picked up a silvery ore and a plain looking blue rock, tucking them behind her, into her backpack. She smashed another rock, splintering it in half with one strike. The pieces fell down a dark hole. She climbed down without hesitation.

In that dark moment, Sebastian could hear her still humming softly. Then she emerged into the light. For a moment, he thought he was seeing things. There were small, bouncing black rocks approaching. There was a sharp noise and suddenly the Farmer was holding a glittering black sword. She dispatched the odd creatures with a few swipes, stooping to pick up the coal one dropped.

Large, transparent blue gelatinous blobs attacked next. The Farmer was looking down, so Sebastian saw when one hit her leg, searing through the overalls with a blurp and a puff of smoke. He saw the raw, burned looking skin where it hit her leg through the hole in the fabric. She was still fending off the last blob when he heard a loud screech. She turned quickly, her sword flashing. He saw the bat, as large as a housecat, cleaved in two by the obsidian blade.

“Augh!” She cried turning to swipe at the remaining blob. It burst into liquid goo. Sebastian’s stomach roiled when she reached into the goo to pull out a weathered looking scroll tied with a yellow ribbon. Sebastian felt like he was going to be sick. This wasn’t like a video game. This was his friend and in real life. She could be hurt or worse while down there. Still, he couldn’t look away or stop the video.

She cleared the rest of the level, smashing rocks and fighting two more slimes before finding another hole to climb down.

With each passing minute Sebastian felt his anxiety for the Farmer rising. Logically, he knew she had to have made it out, but it didn’t stop him from squeezing the stone in his hand so tight he felt its cold point pierce his skin. He watched as she broke apart skeletons, like those he admired at the Spirit’s Eve Festival, who tore bones from their own bodies to fling them at her. He saw her chase a ghost, cleaving it over and over until it disappeared with a poof, leaving a glittering gold rock which she quickly snatched.

In another moment, she notice something tucked in a corner, smashed a path to it and picked it up. It was a frozen tear, like the one he held in his hand. It might even be the same one, he thought, suddenly feeling as cold as the stone in his hand.

His heart stopped when she was attacked by no less than six blobs at once. Her humming had ceased, replaced by grunts of effort and hisses of pain. She managed to render all six into steaming puddles before she collapsed. Sebastian’s heart, which suddenly beat again, was in his throat, choking him.

He watched, unable to look away as she pulled a container of blackberries out and ate the whole thing. She gave him a good look at her wounds as she examined them herself, patching what she could with duck-tape. Her legs were burned raw, a large gash had been opened in her side from a skeleton’s bone boomerang.

Sebastian checked the time remaining on the video. An hour left. He took a sip of his coffee, his hand shaking. His drink had gone cold, but he didn’t care. He needed something, his mouth suddenly having gone dry. He was given a brief respite when the next level held nothing but an entrance to the elevator and a ladder leading down.

The next hour passed slowly. Sebastian watched, agonized, as the Farmer fought nightmarish creatures, dodging glowing green projectiles or darts of flame which bounced off walls to come at you again. She was fearless, breaking rocks apart to gather the gold ore even as shadow creatures approached from the periphery. Occasionally she would stop to eat and tend her wounds.

Sebastian thought of how he’d invited her to join their fantasy game in this very room. How childish it must have seemed to her, to pretend to fight monsters. Sure she had looked like she was having fun, but she was probably just humouring them. Humouring him. His game was nothing like the messy, painful chaos he was witnessing.

In the end, he didn’t see her leave the mines, the video simply stopped with her breaking stone after stone. He stared at the final, frozen frame, the Farmer’s pickaxe a silver blur. The small stone in his hand felt heavy, as if his knowledge of the blood spilt to get it made it weightier. More significant, more precious. He got up suddenly, his paralysis over.

He needed to find the Farmer. Now. He needed to make sure she was okay.

Sebastian’s legs felt wooden as he walked up the stairs. As if drawn by his need, the Farmer was there, chatting casually with Maru in the lab. Her smile swiftly changed to concern when she saw Sebastian’s face. She excused herself from Maru, taking Sebastian’s arm and leading him outside. She said nothing, only glanced at him with worry in her eyes.

He couldn’t stop staring at her. She was okay. He couldn’t see any evidence of her being hurt. She didn’t even limp. He lightly touched her side, where he’d seen a bone split her flesh. He could feel a bandage under her thin t-shirt. For a moment, he’d wondered if she was even real. How could someone be so thoughtful, kind and beautiful as well as a savage warrior? She stopped at the shore of the lake and turned him to face her.

“You watched the video?” She asked, rubbing his arms lightly. Sebastian realized he was shivering. He nodded, not trusting his voice. “I’m sorry if it scared you.” She said, sliding her arms around him in a comforting embrace. He shook his head, clearing his throat.

“It-It didn’t-“ He cleared his throat again, very conscious of the small, hard body of the Farmer pressed against his own. “It didn’t scare me, not like that.” She looked up at him quizzically.

“I mean,” he began, “I wasn’t scared of the monsters and stuff. It was just…” he paused, his hands making small circles on her back. He hadn’t realized he was holding her until now.

It occurred to him in a flash. He cared for the Farmer. Really, really cared. It was more than a little terrifying. He might be in love with this wild creature.

“It was brutal watching you get hurt,“ He swallowed hard, “and keep going. You’re a real tank.” He joked weakly. She winked broadly at him.

“I sure am, Sebbo.”

He held her tightly, conscious of her hidden wounds.

“I don’t think we should show Sam and Abby then,” she continued, “I don’t want to be blamed for nightmares.” Sebastian nodded. He wanted to ask her to never go into the mines again, wanted to keep holding her safe in his arms forever. He knew she had to, she needed the ore and stone for her farm. He knew he was being foolish but he couldn’t stop from asking her to be extra careful in the mines.

“Sure sweetheart,” she said, giving him a little squeeze, “I’ll be extra careful for you.” Sebastian didn’t want to examine the way his heart leapt in his chest at the endearment so he contented himself with holding her as long as she would let him.

#stardew valley #stardew sebastian #stardew #fanfiction #stardew valley fanfiction

[decepticoncoward]

((Just filling out this headcanon meme for fun and so I can get to know Fulcrum a bit before playing him))

Frog: Does your muse make any strange noises? Or do they do anything relatively strange with their mouth unknowingly?

Fulcrum’s explosive charge was removed so he’s got a little bit less under his plating than most mechs. As a result he sounds a bit... hollow, if you give his stomach a tap or if you listen to him while he walks.

He’ll also chew his fingers when he panics or when he gets nervous. The more scared he is, the more he does it.

Antler: Does your muse hunt? What do they hunt if they do? How often do they go hunting? Are they for or against it? Where do they go hunting?

Nope. Since Fulcrum was just a techie in charge of cyberforming, ran when the Autobots attacked, and jumped when the DJD showed up, Fulcrum’s never had the opportunity to actually shoot a gun or any weapon. Well, he’s never shot a real gun. He’s got a little practice in with Shoot Shoot Bang Bang(tm). But, really, Fulcrum has little to no experience using weapons, besides himself that is, but arguably he doesn’t even have experience with that.

So, no, Fulcrum doesn’t hunt. I don’t think he’d be too into it either. He’s fed up with the “thugs” that used the war as an excuse to be cruel, so he wouldn’t enjoy it just for the violence. He doesn’t need to hunt to survive, they scavenge. He does think other races are inferior, especially organic ones, but I can’t see him hunting them for sport either; he’d be too disgusted with all their fluids.

Seaweed: Does your muse like the water? Can your muse swim? What temperature does your muse like the water to be?

He’s never been in a large body of water. Before the Scavengers, the only place he’s been that would have a large body of water is on one of the planets he cyberformed, but he stepped in one once, and it was too slimy with gross organic goo for his taste. He does, however, love showers, hot showers especially. It’s relaxing, and it helps ground himself if he gets too nervous or stressed or caught up in disturbing thoughts. That’s not a ritual he partakes in very often, though.

Hornet: How patient is your muse? Are they easily perturbed? What sets them off the easiest?

Fulcrum’s a very patient mech. He’s not shy letting you know if you’ve annoyed him or that he’s angry, but he’s not someone that’s easily gonna lose their cool. He’s also curious and is more likely to find a situation exciting rather than disturbing. I mean, this is the mech who looked at an abandoned ship covered in skin and brains and thought “This is great!” Plus, after living with the Scavengers for a while and all the nonsense they get up to, he’s learned to accept the situation no matter how ridiculous and just go with it. Though, like I said, he’s not shy in letting you know his thoughts, so, although he may easily roll with the punches, he may be yelling the whole time about what a ridiculous situation the whole thing is. 

However, people who don’t listen or purposely ignore what’s being said get under his chassis. Betrayal really sets him off.

Popsicle: What does your muse do to cool down in the heat? Does your muse overheat often?

Actually, it’s usually the opposite for Fulcrum: he runs cold. But on the rare occasion that he is hot, he’d just grab a fan and spread out across the couch.

Rhino: Is your muse wanted for something? What item do they value most? What is the bounty on your muse's head? (If they have one.)

Is he wanted for something? The obvious answer is yes, the DJD want to punish him for his cowardice, but, now that the DJD are dead, they’re not a problem anymore. But Fulcum doesn’t know they’re dead, so, to him, it’s still a concern. Fort Max, the new Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord, most likely still remembers him too, but I doubt he’d go out of his way to track the Scavengers down.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not wanted anymore. After living with the Scavengers, he’s collected quite a few more bounties. He’s wanted by the Galactic Council after breaking Misfire out as well as a handful of other bars, buildings, countries, planets, and even solar systems.

As for what item he values most, well, he didn’t have any possessions when the Scavengers found him. He didn’t need them anymore as a K-Class. Sure he had possessions before, but who knows what’s happened to them since. And, as far as he’s concerned, his life is running on borrowed time that’s about to expire anyway. Escaping the DJD the first time was nothing short of a miracle, but he’s got not delusions about escaping them twice. Because of that, he doesn’t hold onto anything too dearly; it’s all temporary. He’s still a little sentimental at spark, though. He managed to grab a component of his explosive charge from Spinster. Sometimes he looks at it to remember what he’s survived, and remember where he is now. It’s comforting to think that he went from throwing his life away to atone for his cowardice to traveling the galaxy having the time of his short life with a group of mechs who have shown him more respect, loyalty, and love than he deserved. And, sometimes, when he’s feeling particularly down about his future, he’ll hold it and hope that, since he survived all that-- Styx, being K-Class, the DJD-- maybe, just maybe, he can survive again. Because, as much as he’s accepted his fate, he doesn’t want to die. Oh, he also has a DDR trophy made by the Scavengers.

Sandpaper: What does your muse's skin feel like? How about their hair? Is one part of their body a rougher texture than the other? Does your muse have any callouses?

Fulcrum doesn’t have skin or hair, but overall he’s his chassis is pretty smooth. He’s got a few dings and dents in him now, but he doesn’t bother to fix the little things. This is because, one, as I mentioned before, he views his life as temporary anyway, and, two, he likes having them there. It reminds him of all his adventures with the Scavengers. He’ll gladly talk about each one to anyone who asks.

Fire: What is your muse's temper like?

Like I said before, he doesn’t lose his cool very easily. He’s not polite or subtle; if he’s upset, you’ll know, but he doesn’t blow up (in more ways than one, haha ayyyyy).

Stomach: What is your muse's health like? Are they missing any organs? Do they have extras of some organs? Any strange features your muse may possess that nobody knows of?

Well, obviously he’s missing his explosive charge since Spinster removed it. He doesn’t have any strange features besides that. In fact, he barely has the bare necessities. After all, K-Class mechs don’t have long average lifespans. They’re not expected to need much more than a pair of legs to jump on and a working transformation cog. I also know interfacing equipment is something that comes up a lot in fanon. This Fulcrum doesn’t have any. They were removed, and his spark chamber was sealed shut. I’m taking this headcanon straight from this lovely fic over here. To summarize what it says, becoming K-Class was a punishment for Fulcrum; he shouldn’t be living it up before the jump. Along that same line, his fuel intake moderation chip has also been permanently enabled (meaning he can’t get drunk). Other than that, he’s got average health. He’s pretty weak in terms of strength and helpless in terms of firepower because, again, he’s K-Class, they’re not gonna equip him with much, but he’s not falling apart or anything like that.

#ooc #headcanon #meme

[curiouskarenscapers2017]

Volume Two – September 2004

Ni Hao! (Chinese for hello remember)

Ok, so after about three tries we got it right and the teething problems are over, we are at press!

Thanks for all the compliments and please, if there is anything specific you want me to check out lemme know, it will make my life more interesting here!

I got the photo’s downloaded and we’re A for away. Will let you know about those.

Anyway, where were we, oh yes. We lost the two Canadian girls and got a South African, Penelope (Pen for short, because the locals had a problem saying the name) and the Canadian Kimberley (Kim for short, just easier) a day later instead. Poor Penelope’s luggage never left SA and two days later she got them delivered to the school by Cathy Pacific! They were put in a new apartment just down the road from us. Pen was having a very hard time about it. They were shoved into teaching the next day with no training whatsoever.!! Hectic, now where did I hear that before……oh yes, it happened to me too!! Anyway, the weekend they had time to breath after a terrible and disastrous two days teaching. They would be fine. I told them they must just calm down over the weekend, do an orientation stint then while it’s quiet and brace themselves for Monday. It will be better and it does get better. My week was a total nightmare hours wise. 13 hrs a day, 71 hours a weak, 306 hrs a month! But obviously I’m not being paid for the hours spent at the office only teaching hours are billed. It’s cruel!!! The initial 3months are used for training then after that you can go home if you don’t have class. For the first 3 months you have to stay at the office weekdays from 1pm – 9pm and Saturdays from 10am – 4pm. This is fine if you are not doing a kindergarten class that starts at 9am and you have to be there at 8am to prepare! So all in all my 1st three months will be 8am -9pm. Cool!!!!!

Anyway, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!! I finally went to the night market the other night. What an experience!!!! It was a maze of narrow rows between hundreds if little stalls that ranged from food to gadgets and of course the cell phone stores in between!!! My word! The food, the smells and some of the smells…..eeeeeuuuuwww. But overall the food look appetizing and very oily, everything is fried…fried dumplings, fried, noodles, fried meat etc. etc. ect. But what a vibe, Tuesday nights and Friday nights the night markets lives on, with people flowing like blood through it’s veins. Awesome. Better than Leki in Lagos. But different in a way as well. I liked Leki for the unusual stuff, with the odd little Chinese store in between, here most of it is shiny, glittery and it looks like Taiwan is stuck in the eighties!! So I’ll do the expected and start buying cool glittery hair clips and baubles for my hair, seeing as I don’t have much of a choice in the heat, I’m tying it up…can you guys believe it!!

Some beautiful hair stuff. Stunning Jade jewelry. Small trinkets for about NTS300 = R60 to NTS3000 = R 600. Stunning bangles of jade as well. You get a light white jade with a hint of green and then others are dark green. All little religious symbols and things you find at our Chinese stores back home as well as some different ones. This market is just interesting with all it’s stuff and smells. The gadgets are the best, the lighters are awesome, everything flashes!! Lot’s of CD’s DVD’s and VCD’s. All quite cheap. Didn’t look too closely as I was swept away by the stream. Boy what a stream!!! It’s like the game with the frog that has to jump across the road and avoid being hit by a the cars, level advanced!!!! I actually at one stage had to fall back in the stream the way I came and pop out a quiet pooled area on the opposite side and make my way upstream along the side I wanted to get to in the first place!!!! Anyway, it was a great experience and I saw lots of stuff for everybody. The girls will love the hair gadgets and clips and the brother will love the guys shirts here, very with it and clubby!!! The interesting food caught my eye as I was bustled by. Ducks head an neck fried to a crisp, Chicken feet fried to a crisp!!

Saturday I did my time at the school, had to teach 2 classes and then started on this volume. The girls are moving today which means I am moving into the big room with the en suite bathroom, going to miss them and the dogs!! Will go visit as Teri is leaving in 5 sleeps and poor Abby will be alone at home with the kids!

I had a weird traditional food on the Saturday that taste like raw dough…my favourite….but has a spicy or sweet centre that looks like fried onions. Weird, but ok. Won’t buy too many of those. They also look like the green goo we used to buy when we were kids that didn’t stick to your hands, it just kind of went through your fingers but left your hands clean. These balls were like that, they stuck to the plastic they were in but didn’t come apart or leave goo behind…very interesting food. Wonder if it will stick to a car window at a high speed………

Anyway, I moved and have never in my life sweated so much as when I was cleaning out our flat when the girls left. My word, it was soooo hot on Saturday, I went to bed in the quiet apartment and Sunday spent time going through all the left behinds to see what is useable and what’s not. A whole new way of life for me!!!! You don’t want to end up buying something expensive and you can’t take it with! So use what’s left behind and save on costs. The en suite shower is quite an experience, in  there being no shower!!! The is a wall mounted tap set and the shower head and away you go, next to the loo in the middle of the bathroom, no curtain, no indent just a slight downward angle and two draining holes…..quite cool actually. Maybe it would be a good idea for the resort…a fiberglass bathroom floor, raised and sealed along the edges and everything in it. Easy cleaning for the crew, you don’t need a bath for the resort and it’s hygienic! Viola, all these ideas!!! I tell you!

  So I finally get the dreaded cold I was bracing myself with Vitamin tablets against!!! Got it after Sunday’s cleaning and felt it more on Monday, Tuesday evening I had it full blast with a day from hell the next! Like I said, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger….right?….just incase you don’t hear from me again after this edition…….I love you all!!!! I mean it!!! Naaah not this “onkruid”.

Judy (the owner) was shaking her head in disbelief at the most amazing and well timed, managed, organized way my passport and visa was done compared to EVERYONE ELSE. For some weird reason, I’m the only one with no problems getting a 60day visa, secondly for some unknown reason my visa is the only one, now that they did leave it too late to get the ARC in time, able to be renewed until Oct 21 at the local police station without having to leave the country!! Strange but true, I’ve been telling everybody I’m easy and nobody believes me!!! I’m being looked after big time……as usual. Anyway, I have a three empty rooms, and I know who’s all living in them at the moment while there is space….once again!!!!

So, this is a sign for them maybe to…..I don’t know….hurry the process up a bit with the ARC!!! I’ll stay on them. Just a reminder if I haven’t mentioned it before, the ARC is the Alien Residency Certificate, basically allows me to stay here and work.

(Verimark add scenario)This new rice diet I have tried really works for me! I can’t believe the results! I was a lonely fat teenager all my life and the Chowfan rice diet has change all that!! I can look at people and say….yes, it’s me!!! …No really it’s me, me? Karen, remember? No really it IS! Look, see it’s me…..yes!! Over here, it’s me, I’m here!!!…..okay, maybe not THAT thin yet, but the loss of 10kg’s in my first month and a half, says something for the Chinese people’s cooking. There are very few obese people here, except for the foreigners who eat things like, fried dumplings, fried calamari, fried rice, tipenyaki and all the 7eleven can offer, because of their money that is. But once again, money is the root of fat, the less money the thinner you are….so I have come to the equation – no money = thinner! Eureeeeekkkkaaaa! I better hide my money away from myself after payday! But where….where?????

In my huge room I now have, I have cordoned off a section for exercising. I got some foam tiles you buy in a pack of 6/8 and you connect them to form a mat. I do my sit up/push ups etc all on this little piece of lime green foam. Good to have an exercise routine, I have been missing it! Made a list of what I need for the flat, so that I can go get it this weekend after payday Friday!!! Wonder what we’ll be getting?!!!?

Saw Teri off on Wednesday night at work…can’t believe she’ll be at home tomorrow sometime. Weird to think she’ll see boetie before I do! And I probably won’t see him for nearly a year! Never happened before!! I’ll have to organize…and what about the family, what about my friends and the cats…….aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyway, I’ll survive!

Found out a few minutes ago that we don’t have to sit here for the whole 13 hours a day, so we won’t!! Not that my classes are scheduled in such a way that it will benefit me though. But the small gaps in between might help getting away a bit! We’ll see how that goes.

Well I it finally happened again and this time I gave in to my deepest maternal instinct! The first time, someone found a few weeks old stray puppy and I refused point blank, emotionally, space wise and this place is no place for a dog. No grass, no fresh air, no…..wait, I want those things!!!! Anyway, so yesterday evening Abby and Teri was taking out their trash when they found a 3 week old orphaned kitten. She asked me today whether I would please take care of it, I didn’t want to, I said I don’t know, really I did, I was soo strong!!!!! Then I remembered last night when I got home, to my huge empty flat with no life in it at all…….! And then it happened…that little niggly feeling deep down inside, what will happen to this little orphaned kitten? Who will help it? Here? no one!

With typhoon season in full swing, it will probably drown in the trash or get swept away down a drain or…what if the stray dogs eat it??? What then??? It got to this stage and obviously needed help to have a full happy life further, it was meant to be found by them and be taken care of by me! It will have a wonderful life!!! It might just become the flat cat! I’ll see him tonight (Thursday 9/9)

We’re making plans to do the Carrefour journey this weekend to get all the necessary living items. Like bedding!!! I have been sleeping on a fitted sheet and a pillow! Amazing how it turned out that we got here in Summer, Winter would have been a bit funny with no bedding!!! Anyway, it’s not and I don’t have to! Carrefour is actually just around the corner, well sort of, maybe about 5km’s away. Can’t wait.

Ok, so off we went on Saturday after school at about 5pm. What a place!! About three stories high with everything your heart desires! From toiletries to food to bikes to hi-tech stuff……I was like a kid in the proverbial candy store!!! And every time I saw something I saw something else at the same time and bumped into myself a few times until we both pulled in the same direction!!! Stunning!!! Got stuff for the flat, like a wine opener!!!!!! Got bedding at long last, now my bed looks like a bed not a temporary couch I spent a month and a half on. Also the temperature is slowly declining at night and in the wee morning hours, so the new fluffy thick duvet with my different types of blue colouring looks homely and cozy!! You have never bought so blind as here. 1 picture with a full bed set on it. 4 pillows, 1 duvet, 1 fitted sheet and when you open it you have 1 pillow case and a duvet cover. Then you buy another to see whether you could get it as close as possible to the colour and then you find a fitted sheet with 1 pillow case in another….so at the end of the day you have a semi matching set consisting of a denim blue duvet cover with a check pattern and a light blue broad border that isn’t on the picture, a bright blue fitted sheet with circles on it and matching pillow cases and an old night frill around the bed frame that was left in the flat of a different blue….viola!!!!!

  Anyway, I sleep well and it feels more like home!! Back at the store! I was still shopping away. Myself, Jane and Melissa(the new Canadian girl that is sharing with me). She was a legal secretary for 8years and decided to do something different, got married the day before she got here! Hectic!!!

So we stopped at the cats/pet section and I got Draco/ Shao Long (Little dragon) a sandbox, very fancy, we should get one for the cats back home!! Some  Friskies for cats and Purina for kittens. Jane (one of the Chinese teachers here) was my shopping planner/co-ordinator. She eventually took my list and off she went! People were checking us out because we were probably the loudest shoppers in the mall, well definitely the most excited ones!!! So, we got all the basics and some nice things, checked out the bikes and saw a stunning red Coca Cola bike, but it was a bit of a girls bike….but really cool looking! I eventually left it for now as I wanted to check out the bike place where all the other teachers go for bikes. A toaster, a vacuum cleaner and a few other essentials came to a very reasonable price! We would never pay that in SA for all the things we bought! The coolest part was between the different levels where they had a walking escalator not a stairs one. The best part is that the trolley’s are magnetized and sticks to the escalator!!! You can’t move it!!!! Even with a full trolley, it didn’t budge up and down the escalator…cool!!!! I even approached it at a running speed….amazing! I will definitely go back there. We called the taxi and at about 7o’clock we left Carrefour!! I want to go try out all my stuff at home! Can’t wait!

So that evening the other girls came over, Pen and Kim and we (or rather Melissa) made stir fry, we watched a movie and they left with plans for going exploring tomorrow morning to find the everything store!

Well what a variety of everything stores this place has. Just when you thought this is definitely the everything store you walk into one that has more everything than the first one! I was so sure I got it until we actually got it! We walked a mile….but we were in good spirits and it went quickly. Our first stop was a video/DVD store where we enquired as to how much to rent etc. etc. Worked out to NTS1000 for 80 DVD’s That is a good deal compared to our Blockbuster deals. R200 for 80 DVD’s!! We’ll remember that and we filed down the road again. Next stop was the Pizza shop. Stunning little yellow shop with inside seating and two tables outside. We opted for inside as the aircon does make a difference in a place like this. A small pizza and iced tea worked out to about just over R10 something. Very good as well, I took a membership card as we left and immediately got it stamped!! We’ll be back!! Next stop was a big pharmacy on the corner of a main intersection. They even have a counter as to when the lights will change, this one started at 80sec and counted down. Cool really. Anyway, the pharmacy had quite a bit of paraphernalia and interesting weird stuff. A huge baby section was located upstairs. It’s quite a big deal having children here and they definitely cater for it! Didn’t find what we wanted, which was for me to get nail glue! Everything else is false around here except nails……….

Then we went across the road and found a huge book/stationery store. Cool, books below and stationery above. I left the girls to wonder around in their as I continued my quest for the everything store……just past the book store I found it, I’m sure of it!! A crammed supermarket type shop with everything in it. Looks like a typical Indian shop, you can’t move in the isles. Lots of food and further down lots of household stuff, like cutlery dustbin bags for cheap and then a huge section with beer….interesting! Got two little dustbins for the bathrooms, lots of bags for them and the big dustbin in the kitchen and was off to find the girls and let them know! Got back to the bookstore and they had disappeared into the myriad of shops in Changhua, swallowed by the black hole of consumer marketing and products on demand! So what to do…do I go on shopping or do I go find them….hmmmm…sat on the corner like a foreigner for a few minutes, nothing, walked up a while and side ways, nothing….Oh well, they’re all together so I’ll go exploring down this way………found some shoe shops and a huge everything shop with red writing further down the road. Cool and they had a little bit of nail glue! Must remember this place! Got some sparkly stuff for my hair and felt like a kid again. One with neon orange flower bits with a clear bauble behind it, two with two pink squares on either side with a mother of pearl shine and one with clear squares and a red elastic. Cool!!!!

Walked out and back down the street and as I came to the corner again they were crossing the road. I told them about the shop and they wanted to go see it. I waited at Mac Donald’s with Kim and had a Lemon Coke. We started our journey back nearly 4 hours later. Stopped at the Yellow store, a huge yellow electronics store called BC. Lots of gadgets in here!!!! Translators, camera’s MPR3 players to die for, CD players, TV’s you name it. Laptops are the same to a tad cheaper that home. HP Presario’s at about NT35 000 which works out to about R7 000 to more. I was hoping for much cheaper but they too import them. Then we checked out the Hi Fi section and we all had our favourites. I got a small Philips Hi Fi with a sound to die for and all the extras including a USB port to connect your laptop to it to play MP3’s. Also plays MP3, CD’s RWCD etc etc etc etc. Boetie, will love this!! Nee, dis myne!!! Stunning little thing for under a R1000. They had to order one. Got two fluorescent lamps for the bathroom and kitchen and we were off again. Got closer to home and found a huge fresh market. Walked in and they had all sorts in there! ALL SORTS. We took a quick route past the live chickens being slaughtered and checked out the seafood and other meats. Interesting but also very fresh and good pricing. Calamari to die for doll, squid, octopus, shrimps, clams bubbling away in their cold water crates, eels and al sorts of fish. I wonder if they have butter fish, we had it in Paternoster as part of our sea food platter, I could make a huge seafood platter with these things!!! At the end they had pastries and it smelled stunning! We left and suddenly walked into “The Everything store”. From pots and pans to electrical things in one huge corrugated iron room. Got a lamp for next to my bed, a squeegee to clean the floors with and Melissa also got some stuff. We were nearly home and passed so many eating places on the way. We made an arrangement that once a month we will try out one of the eating places, maybe twice a month as there are so many!!!! Got home, the girls left and I did my hair and nails and went to bed….a good shopping day!!!

The week started with a bang and I was back into my 13hour shifts. Although I had no class on the Monday until the afternoon! Then later I found out they went to the Confucian temple! I wanted to go tooooooo! Abby got the brochure and we’ll go soon. The week flew by and the guys from BC phoned me to come fetch the HiFi. I organized with Jane, my new Chinese best friend, and after work on Wednesday we got on her scooter and went to go fetch it! Great, it was there and they had it waiting. The box was not too big but just uncomfortably sized. At least it had handle holes on the sides. So we started planning how we were going to get the box, me and her on the scooter, so Jane suggested I ride and she’ll hold the box, I advised against that option as she knows her bike better and will be able to counter weight etc etc . So she got on, I got on with the box resting on my left knee and leaning to the right and we were off. The poor scooter! Thank goodness it didn’t rain. We dodged a few cars, had to organize space for us to squeeze through and we got home. I obviously immediately started assembling the thing well into the evening and borrowed CD’s from Melissa to check whether the 5CD changer option worked well! It did, and what sound!!! I’m happy, I have a real room now, bed and Hifi what more do you want! Now, I’ll need to get CD’s!!!! Leki market used to have them at R25 a CD in Nigeria, get this, here, none of them are over NT35 which is R7….I’ll stay here…please send your lists through to me!!!

Anyway, Friday arrived and I had to go to the new school. Asked Judy for her scooter and she said no……..what?…no? What do you mean no? If I have enough time they want us to either walk or ride our own bikes because of the safety hazard on scooters. FINE!!! I’ll take my bike!! I started cycling in about 30C heat and in jeans! It was great! I had such a cool cycle. With the bicycle you go past things slower and you can actually see shops….more shops….cool places to come visit! I made it to the school in just under 20min. Shows you what the scooter does to you, it makes you lazy!! I had a good workout while window shopping. Today they had a world Peace moment from 2:00 to 2:30 and no cars drove around….best time to get where you want to! On my way back from the school, I saw many army trucks and a road block….so much for world peace!!!

I had the weirdest epiphany while cycling back to the school. I suddenly realized fully I was in Taiwan. A country I have only heard about in my entire 34 years. The other side of the world. If I start digging now I’ll come out in Jo’burg somewhere….I’m sure of it. It was so cool, I looked around me saw the emerald green rice paddies in the fields between the buildings, suddenly was aware of all the Asian people around, the writing and the odours from the shops and small votive temples along side the road! Wow, I’m really here! Cool!!! I’ll let everybody know……oh wait, they already do, I’ve been here for two months on the 24th already. Ok then.

There is a Moon Festival party on the 24th in our complex and we are all going! I’ll take pictures! This Saturday is Kim’s birthday party at the Flamingo and we’ll go flea marketing or something on Sunday.

Well, the party at Flamingo’s turned out to be quite the party so we cancelled Sunday! It was great. We were all sitting there and even the Chinese teachers joined in! Melissa and I bought a small little cake at the night market on the Friday. It’s a bout a A5 size compared to a A4 sized cake….if you get the picture. We whipped it out, got the stale sparklers going….my idea of course and sang while the sparklers were going haywire and nearly burning the pub down….so typical!!!

Anyway, we sang for Kim and Sara. Sara is one of the front desk ladies that help us in all our teachings and materials for teachings etc etc etc. It was her 22 birthday to……….WHAT!!! 22….wow, when was that? 19………sad hey? I’m ok…I’m ok. So there we were, Sunny the owner is quite the cool Chinese guy and the place just got fuller and fuller. And guess what, all foreign people, they were coming out of the woodwork!!! Even more SAfricans emerged. From Cape Town nogal! It was great seeing normal faces where ever you looked. Weird! We had a ball and left at about 2:30. In bed by 3:00am and sound asleep. Sunday we woke up after 10 and remembered we organized to go to the morning market near Abby’s place. Nothing happened and I went to the roof to go read my book and relax in the sun. We had a craving for KFC and I went to go fetch it down the road. All the tour buses were parked outside the temples and people were in the streets with their uniforms on waving little flags. Interesting, obviously celebrating the moon festival period. At about 5pm Abby arrived and we all just sat and chatted and watched 2 CSI Miami’s in a row and she left. The one day weekend went so quickly….why?????

So the rest of the week went by. And I had to go get an extension on my Visa….after all that!!! Lucky….once again for me, I could do it at the local police station 2min from the school. I came to school early on Tuesday, got everything organized and was off. Got there and this huge fancy Police Station looks more like a hotel foyer than a police station in our country! So I ask the guy at the front desk what I should do and he gave me a form and I filled it out. Now, they are not supposed to know that I am working. I am only extending my Visa for the sake of holidaying a bit more. I had to go to a room around the corner and spoke to a very straight forward Chinese lady. I had to get the friend that I was staying with to come in and then it changed to I should get this other form filled in by the friend. So off I go again and in between my lessons, Mr Woo (Judy’s husband) got everything filled in for me. And at about 13:30 off I go again. Then the back office people were on lunch and they’ll be back at 2:00. Ok then, back to school and only at about 4:00 could I go through again and they close at 5pm. So off I went again! This time there was a guy that could help me. Very funny guy…don’t know his name. After a barrage of questions, he said to me “OK, I give you two months.” I couldn’t believe my ears. From a normal 2 month visa I’m getting nearly 5 months wear out of it!. Coollll!!! Anyway, as we were talking he said that I must just get a work permit before I start working here….I was like, what was that? Noooooooo, I’m off to Sun Moon Lake and my friends want me to stay for the Moon Festival etc etc. He just smiled and handed me my passport with my extended two month visa. He knows, I know it. I think they get so many people doing the same thing and the next week or two you face him again with a work permit!!!! Teeheeeee.

So there I was, free from any stress of having to leave the country to get a renewal, although a trip to Hong Kong or Thailand would have been great round about now!

Friday arrived and we were all so paste with working so many hours that we were a bit lethargic when we spoke about the Moon festival party at our apartments. We said we’ll see what they have going when we get home. Got home and it was one big Karaoke event with families sitting around their tables and eating and braaiing. So more of a thanksgiving party kind of thing. We decided to give it a miss and have our own. The girls and Ryno pitched in and we christened our rusted braai that has never been used and after a tremendous Smokey Robinson effect in our flat we ate at about 1am. We all just chatted , listened to music and never got around to the 10 VCD’s on the table Abby brought. I got some fish and meat at Yumawo and some mayonnaise for the potato salad Abby was going to make. Got wine and was ready to party. Kim, Abby, Neps, Melissa, Ryno, myself and the Draco(the cat). He had a ball with all the attention and we realized that he had grown double his size since he was found, just skin and bones. He was eventually passed out hanging over the couch arm behind the wine bottles. Would have been a cool photo!!

Found Ming Chia Mei on Thursday, Abby took me to show me where it was. What a shop. Like a huge double story Clicks! Everything you want regarding cosmetics, clothes, shoes, snacky types of foods and kitchen stuff. To die for doll and everything is on sale! They have absolutely all types of things here and even things I recognize from home although the names are different. Once again the logo’s stay the same! Thank goodness. Taking the rest of the girls there on Saturday after school.

It’s Joyce’s birthday on Tuesday and everyone is invited to a coffee shop around the corner called Vogue. They have a strange way of celebrating their birthdays. Just a tea with the friends late afternoonish and then that’s it! No presents, no party till dawn, no nothing, just a card and a cake to die for! I must say, they rival the Germans with pastries here! Their cakes are quite a big thing here for special occasions. The night at Flaming when we whipped out our A5 sized cake they maneuvered in a cake that makes ours look like a cup cake! The box alone is impressive with gold writing on a cream background and the famous, nasty translations of a once stunning birthday wish or something. I’ll enclose some of the translations here……you will kill yourself laughing if you get over the confusion part……WHAT? Can you say that? Is there such a sentence pattern?

It’s the thought that counts! So, tomorrow, Sunday 26/9 we are off to the Moon Carnival at Sun Moon Lake, about an hour or two from Changhua. Can’t wait, camera ready, batteries new….ready, pose, shoot!!

Just as well I did take the extra batteries and my original memory card because I filled it all! I still had photo’s on the cards from the beginning of my trip. I got it downloaded at a little Fuji camera shop. So now we can start seeing what’s going on. Well, what a jol this weekend was.

We got up at about 7am, got a taxi to the train station, Kim, Neps and me. We met up with three new people we didn’t know but that were friends of Abby’s and Nicolene. We explored the train station for the first time and boy, am I going to travel now!!! It’s like a gateway to anywhere! NTS 27 = R5 for a trip to Taichung. Coool!!! Anyway, we had 3 min to get to the platform and we got on the train and was off.

Reminded me of the last time I rode on a train. London underground and this was so similar. We got to Taichung station at about 9 and started looking for a bus to Sun Moon Lake.

A guy approached us with a taxi kombi and quoted us a price on taking us there. After about half an hour and exploring different options as well we decided to take him up on his offer. So all 8 of us got into the taxi and off we went. I called him James, the driver. Just so that I could say “Home James” He immediately handed us brochures of Sun Moon Lake. I think he was very well organized for a bunch of foreigners. It was excellent. We eventually paid NTS 250 there and NTS 250 back and boy for our NTS 500, which is about R100 we got a full on guided tour, stops and chauffeuring around the lake that we would never have gotten on a bus! He was looking after us from 9am to 6pm when we got back home! AND he dropped us off in Changhua that we didn’t have to get a train back. It was the best deal out, we’ll definitely use him again, good driver too. He definitely planned it well, had all his connections along the way where we stopped and shopped….clever.

So we arrived at a small town called JiJi.

This little town has a unique tourist attraction which is a animal freak show. Albino snakes and weird animals. We didn’t go in, had other things to do, like shop around.

They were having a festival outside the small JiJi Train station. The small train that uses their railway is called Chi Chi. It’s like a banana express or the Cherry express etc. We were finally ushered into a shop that we didn’t really want to go into with lots of snacks and biscuits etc. We eventually walked out of there with about three paper bags each….empty nogal. I think these Chinese people must think there is something seriously wrong with us foreigners. It is probably like them walking into Checkers in SA and asking for 3 plastic carry bags and being ecstatic about it because they will use it as gift bags for presents back home. That’s us in JiJi. We freaked out about the stunning brown paper bags with a picture and Chinese writing on. I actually felt a tad embarrassed as we were trying to pay for the bags and they refused point blank to take our money for it. So I bought a yogurt to justify getting three stunning paper bags!

Next stop Sun Moon Lake. Our driver serenaded us a bit more and the next minute the blue green water of Sun Moon Lake stretched out before us and a holiday atmosphere was evident. People all over and stalls and colours and food smells! Stunning! Reminded me a lot of Hartebeespoort dam. The water was just clean and green blue because it was clear not full of algae! There was an International swimming contest on as well from one end of the lake to the other!

Quite a distance but on a day like this, what a pleasure! We drove around the lake and I just wanted to get out and start exploring but we kept on driving to the top of a hill where the magnificent Wen Wu Temple sat overlooking the lake! What an impressive site! We got out and started doing the tourist thing. I explored the flea market as we usually do, quite organized so that I don’t miss anything. I came upon a little stall with a honey drink. And obviously had to try it. It is called honey vinegar and it smelled a bit like vinegar but when you taste it, it has the most amazingly refreshing honey taste. I bought two glasses on ice and eventually had to buy the bottle to take it home and make it there! We then got to a stall that had a soup made of 8 different mushrooms in a huge pot. We stopped and had our breakfast there. It was a clear soup with all these mushrooms in and some herbs. Stunning! I never new there were so many different looking mushrooms…..you could eat! From weird little button type mushrooms attached to long stems to the weird huge ones cut up into pieces. I was sure I was going to be quite happy the rest of the day! The tastes were mixed and nothing like our bland Denni’s mushrooms, fresh crisp and spicy tastes and tastes I’ve never tasted before! Devine!

Anyway, we made our way into the temple and had to stop at the curio shop first. The most beautiful Chinese material tops and shoes. Most way to small but they are starting to cater for the fuller figure!

Well, what a temple! If you think the Roman Catholic Cathedrals are ornate and decadent, you must see this! The most amazing wood crafted window panes, the gold filigree in the walls and the statues in the little prayer rooms were amazing craftsmanship! Here was a little shop in the temple about the third floor with the most stunning woodwork I have ever seen, except for ma’s and tannie Elizabeth’s work of course! I took some photo’s. We went right to the top of the roof where it looks out over the different levels of the temple roofs and the lake in the back ground, what an experience, this is what life is all about!!

  After that we went to the Peacock and Butterfly park. The peacocks were a tad dodgy an looked like they have been harvested! Shame, they looked OK but a bit worse for wear, not like ours with at least the full plumage. The white ones were a bit dirty but the idea was cool.

The Butterfly park was closed…..since 1999 when they had their bad earthquake. It destroyed many of the buildings, including the butterfly park. We then went back down the hill to the town and where all the people were milling around the swimming contest. Got there and the contest had finished so we decided to go on a boat trip on to the lake. So for about R40 we got a boat of our own and we organized some drinks for our what was going to be a booze cruise. We designed a new shandy called the Taiwan Shandy, which was using Taiwan Beer and Nestea Lemon tea. Stunning, please try it! We just started and we stopped at a little drifting island in the lake.

The whole island which was probably the size of half a rugby field was entirely made out of drifting platforms of plants and flowers with a solid piece of island in the middle with a monument. Beautiful, it nearly looked like it could be Avalon.

At this stage there was a storm brewing and the mists were all over the place and the mountains, making it look just like a Scottish lake. Too beautiful! Their monuments are so well organized and soo much effort had been put into them with quality material and workmanship. The platforms were of a sturdy wood and the tourist information was on pieces of glass framed by the wood. They sandblasted the island shape and information on these pieces of glass along the path as you circle it. Every piece of glass had some information on a plant on the island with pictures of it. Stunning! We were there for about 15 min and was back on the boat off to a town on the opposite side of the lake. This town was the starting point in the swimming race. A long wooden jetty with a pagoda at the end greeted us. As well as a huge blow up bridge with two dolphin shapes bobbing merrily on top of it, probably the starting point of the race.

What a cool little town this was. The colourful poncho’s were lining the streets. This was more a historical village that showed us a bit more of the original inhabitants of the lake. The Shao and Han people. They are called aboriginal as well and their art reminded me a lot of African art. The figurines, the straw hair the shapes. Very interesting. They had some extraordinary arts and craft here and we’ll have to come back! Not enough money this time round.

We had a very interesting lunch snack at about 5. They make a thin dough lining in a circle shape, fill it with veggies like spring onions and some other greenery and lots of mushrooms, fold it closed into a little ball and deep fry it.

Stunning!! This was so nice, except for the oil it was quite healthy.

It started to rain and the foreigners walked back to our boat. The boat actually looked more like a typical taxi with a dragon on the side breathing fire! Cool!! We got back to shore and got into our taxi and off we went…..Home James!

But James had a another stop to make first. We stopped at a heritage village shop. Nobody wanted to get out of the combi, we were so tired and just wanted to go home. But we did and after all we were definitely getting our money’s worth! SO we got out and the next minute we were all being dressed up in traditional wear! We looked sooooo cool! Bright reds and blues and silver beading on the tops, jingling away merrily as we started posing for photo’s against a traditional painted background outside. Seeeee, everything happens for a reason, we had a ball after all and that’s not all……..then we were treated to green tea! This was turning into a typical Tupperware party. All the girls( all 8 of us) around a table and an old white haired Chinese gentleman pouring us tea from a little stove in front of him on one side of the table. Then they brought out the merchandise……honey, royal honey to drink, royal honey to use on your skin which has amazing rejuvenating abilities. Made by the queen be only, it’s not sticky or sweet like normal bee honey. We were all sold and bought some royal honey to stay young forever! Then we could buy a royal honey drink mix, but I declined saying I had my honey drink already thank you….next time. We got a little tour of some famous peoples pictures that were taken years ago of Chang Gai Shue, a famous person in the history of Taiwan. The Taipei airport is named after him. I will find out more about him.

Then we saw a weird little packaged item in the counter and asked about it. It turned out to be a deer fetus and there were 5 of them! They believe that if you grind it into a powder and drink it you will have longevity and health. At NT$15 000 = R3 000 per fetus! Interesting. What next? How do they get deer fetus if they don’t have to kill the mother? So much for the continuation of that species!

Anyway, we loved the experience and once again told James Home! This time we ended up in Changhua and walked home at a leisurely pace. I quickly went into a Fuji film shop and transferred my two filed up memory cards onto disk for NT$50. Excellent, now I can start all over again!

I couldn’t believe it was the end of the month already. Nearly payday, then we can travel again!

The 28th September is a holiday, no ways……an actual real holiday that people don’t go to work…weird!! So Tuesday came and the Moon Festival was celebrated. It was full moon on Monday night and Tuesday. They celebrate it here by having braais( BBQ’s) with their family, very much like a bit of a Thanksgiving, like I said. We slept late for the first time in a while! Did as little as possible and went shopping at Yumawo (our Woollies) for some braai things. We’ll have a braai of our own. We ate at about 7pm and everybody went to bed early! The Fire crackers have not stopped since. They started about a week before and carried on for about 2 days after. The poor dogs around here! There is no control over fireworks here and we saw kids lighting massive sounding crackers!! I don’t even want to know about it….thanx! So the crackers were going full blast until way past midnight on the Tuesday night. Chasing the bad spirits away! I’m sure it worked well………..other than polluting an already heavy polluted environment and air. The sky was thick with things burning from incense to fireworks to their little stoves on the door step burning paper to ward off evil over this time!

Anyway, savouring my day of doing nothing for a second I listened to my music on my Hi Fi, with Draco (the cat remember) trying to suckle my ear and fell fast asleep!

Well until we meet again………miss you all…….wish you were here!

Tsai Chien! (Goodbye in Chinese remember…there will be a test in the future and you could win a Chinese gift…….made in Taiwan, teehehheee)

  Taiwan Times Vol 2 Volume Two – September 2004 Ni Hao! (Chinese for hello remember) Ok, so after about three tries we got it right and the teething problems are over, we are at press!

[immortalave-blog]

Lost Girls an Wild things (a ten page story)

I resented them. I hated them. I wished they’d never found us. They came, they saw our way of life and they tried to put a “Dr..ees..sss.ee” on it.

                                                                               ----------------------------

“The tribe of Sleeperentis overatus was an all-girl, No cooties, area. It’s a place where young girls can escape the troubles of stinky brothers, evil teddy bears, and broccoli.” Sinsin, the newest member of our tribe, followed me eagerly through the all you can eat candy buffet. “It’s a place of innovation and excitement. There is never a dull moment here, but if you find yourself not entertained, you can visit on of the many workshops located around the tribe grounds. For example, Sinestra teaches a workshop on finger painting every 30 seconds.” I pointed at Sinestra, who was laying back on a rock and snoring. A snot bubble grew and shrunk with her breath. “She looks like she’s on break right now, so it might be a while before the next class.”

We continued around the toadstool paint mixers and the braiding circles. I continued, “Sleeperentis Overatus is the place we come to in order to learn how earthworms feel when they are squished under our toes, how many crayons we can eat without being sick, and how to burn baby ants.” We passed the racecar tracks and the marble routes. We passed through the squishy frog pits and then we reached the edge of the highest hill.

I motioned to the view, “We are located on the outside edges of the Treehouse kingdom. On the opposite side from the tribe, “No girls allowed”. That’s where the boys are, and as shown by their group name, they are very uncreative. Our Kingdom is self-governed, self-sufficient, and self-….. I don’t remember what the third one was… But anyway,” I turned Sinsin to face the entirety of the tribe.  

“As you can see our kingdom is made mostly out of what nature provided us with, and what we found around us. Blankets, stuffed animals, toothbrushes, pillows, and towels, were all put together for the betterment of our society. We built our mansions from the ground up, and we were all proud of it.” We took the soda pop slides down the big hill, which concluded our tour.

“My name is Cinder. I am one of the tribe council members her in Sleperentis Overatus. I have a degree is counting dust-bunnies, and I’m the tribe’s explosive/technical tantrums expert. Which makes me a leader in social justice throughout the community. I also have a strong inclination toward technical devices. Such as The Barbie cell phone, anamorpherators, and the G.I. Joe Jet plane. Ohh and don’t even try to build Legos better than me. I can tell you now, you can’t. I strongly believe everything a girl does should be messy, and if you aren’t covered in mud or finger paint, you’re doing it wrong. I have been in charge of this council for 15 min, and it has felt like years. The changes I have made have been beneficial to all. Especially me. What? Would you not create a drainage system out of Legos, fizzle sticks, and giant sponges that also double as a trampoline? I know I would, and I did. There is a story behind my name, but I’ll get into it later.

               If you have any problems at all, contact Morgana. She’s the eldest, and she will know what to do.” I paused and looked at my watch, “Ohh popsicles, I’m late” I said aloud, and ran to the Council center. It was an important meeting place because I was running it.

-- ---- ---- -------------- --

“What’s a Dress?” Toranu asked. She was sitting on one of the cut up logs surrounding the elevated sandbox that functions as our round table.

               “It is something that binds you,” I said as I stared into her eyes. ”It covers your skin, but not like armor. Its material is weak, and could easily be shredded by a winged worm, much less a Hanectin. It’s like they aren’t even accounting for them. They are stupid, primitive beings.”

               “Is it true they wear armor on their feet?” Saratoni asked. She was sitting cross-legged, as always, on the log she occupied… show off.

               “It is true,” I continued,” Their feet do not have the strength that ours do. They fear the hot ground. Sheltering their feet from their true calloused potential. Their worst offense is that these shoeeesss are for fashion more than they are for utility. But that’s just the beginning. Have you all heard their worst offense?” The council leaned forward. Their eyes wide. They leaned forward in anticip…

“That’s enough Cinder.” Morgana stood.  ”There is no need to scare them.” She stood up and got onto the table. She did it with such grace and efficiency. Whereas when I had done it, I had stumbled and almost fallen. Her robes, made by silkworms and spiders shimmered in the afternoon light. My robes were made of an old potato sack and dental floss. They were covered in mud still wet from the Soda pop falls. Her hair was long and clean, whereas mine was short and choppy. Basically, she made me feel inferior just with her presence, and that’s why I respected her so much.

I took the seat she had left to silence me. I felt useless, all the attention that I had worked hard for was stolen away by Morgana. It didn’t help she was had been my BFF forever.

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Grizzledomor: (A.K.A: Bearded Dad) Known for Their facial hair, Often tells jokes that are only amusing to each other. Commonly known as “Dad Jokes”. They are not usually violent and spend most of their time with Hearthrops.

Hearthrops: (A.K.A. “the mom card”) these creatures are very much caring….until they are not, they despise messy spaces, and often clean them. They spend all day “Nagging” their partners.

Disclaimer: Any and all combinations of Grizzledomors and Hearthrops can exist. All is socially, economically, and politically acceptable.

                                               ------------------------------------------------

               “Why’d you do that? I had their interest. I could change their minds. I had them.”

               “You had them in fear Cinder,” Morgana said. “That is not how you lead a tribe. Not through fear, through hope.”

“You’re wrong. They believed me.” I crossed my arms in my patented professional tantrum position.

“You are not pulling that malarkey on me,” I kept my pouty face at a prime. “You will never learn. How are you going to run this tribe? You are not ready” She said the last quip firmly.

“You BUTTERSCOTCH!” I screamed, and I stormed away. I went straight to my bed and grumbled until I pouted myself out, and I fell asleep

------------------------

The next day the council met, but Morgana wasn’t there. It was weird because she was always 15 min early or 15 min late. This time she was neither. I went to her Victorian treehouse mansion. It took me 30 seconds, but when I returned with no Morgana, the council was asleep. When they awoke, they panicked.

               “This is an outrage,” Hilenestra said. “That was the last straw, we are all scared.”

               “I understand, but we cannot rush into action. We need to figure out where she is “

               “But the tribe, Sleeperentis Overatus, Must prevail,” I said. “But without morgana who will take charge?”

               “Does anyone have any ideas?” Toranu said.

The council hushed, waited for anyone to speak. No one did. Then all eyes turned towards me.

               “What if we sent someone after her?” I said, “Find out where she went.”

               “That’s not a bad idea,” said Saratoni “Is anyone willing to go?”

               After a moment of silence, council members decided in the ancient traditional way. Their fingers snapped to touch the tip of their noses being careful not to smudge their war paint.

               I was the last, but only by a millisecond.

               “Wait but I’m not qualif…”

               “Hush,” Saratoni said. “You are plenty qualified for this mission. If you require assistance you may take one other with you, but that is it. We cannot spare anyone else.” Everyone, except for me, stomped their feet and the session was adjourned.

               What had I gotten myself into?

-----------------------------

               No one was brave enough to come with me, and I didn’t blame them. So instead, I took my teddy bear named Kenai with me. He was good company and seriously loved eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Which I packed in my backpack, along with juice boxes, some nerds candy rope, a hellomacdula for disguise, and my cocooned caterpillar Peeps. He was still in his cage so I put him in the bottom of my backpack for safe keeping. I was far from ready, but it was time to go. The Tribe was waiting for me at the tribe gates.

               “You’ll do great,” Sinsin whispered and winked at me. Hannara was on her left. She was the officially official war paint artist. She grabbed some toothpaste from her bag; she mixed it with mud, berries, melted crayon, and glitter glue. She then took two fingers, scooped up some of the goo and put it on my face. I will not lie. It hurt, but I didn’t want to look as scared as I was. So I took a breath, my eyes watered from the toothpaste, turned towards the door, I inhaled some glitter glue, and headed out of the camp. I started walking, and after 2 seconds, my thoughts got the best of me.

               Earlier I was talking about my name. My name is Cinder. It was given to me by Morgana when I was first accepted into Sleperentis Overatus. It’s a strange name, isn’t it? But I like it because it’s just as unique as I am. I think. It’s so weird to think about the tribe without Morgana. She had been a pivotal point in the development of the tribe, and of me. I used to not be able to control my explosive tantrums at all. Honestly, they kept me from a lot of things. Especially other people. But Morgana had taught me to control my power, and harness it for good. She and I used to practice, all the time. So that’s where I think I got my name. I was the Cinders left after an uncontrolled fire.

“Cinder? As in Cinderella?” a low grumbling voice echoed on the branches.

               Ohh no, I thought

               “Are you a girl? Or an Ember?” It grumbled, “Because IIIIII am hungry, and if you’re a girl I can eat you, but if you aren’t then I cannot.

                What is it? I thought.

               “C’mon, you know me. I can see that you know me. Come out and play”

                               “Ohh no,” I said.

                               “Ohh yesss”

                               Before the Gossishnuzzle finished its last “S”. I was running.

No, don’t talk to me. You don’t get to know me because my secrets are mine. You will not change them.                

               Vines seemed to grow up from the forest. They snagged onto my bare feet and I fell face first on a gray cement square.

-----------------------

Gossishnuzzle: A.K.A: Rumor Weed. This nasty little vermin will disguise itself as your friend until you tell it something it can use. Rumor Weeds once started, are difficult to stop. They tell everyone half-truths about you. That are usually quite embarrassing.

-----------------------

                My veins were throbbing with the weight of my movements.

               If I stay here, they’ll come and save me. Stay in one spot when you realize you’re lost.

               Wait…what? No. No one will save you, you’re on your own

               I should run….Run.

               I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t. I turned over onto my back and looked at my foot. It was wrapped in vines. Lime green colored and smelled of dandelion, and somewhat disgusting looking.

               “That’s not very nice,” It said. The vines molded and grew until it made a shape that resembled, well me except it looked older. Kinda like Morgana’s age. Which was weird. It also wore one of those “Dresssss” Things. Its grip was tightening.

               “Do you like it?” The Rumor Weed asked.

               “It’s so yellow,” I said.

               “Yes, it is,” The Rumor Weed loosened its grip on my leg as it showed off its pale yellow dress. “It was dyed with Mustard, and soaked in dandelion juice.

               “No, it wasn’t,” I said.

               “Yes, it was.” The Rumor weed crossed her arms in my professional patented pouty stance and stuck up her nose.

               Sockertoph, do I look like that? I thought. How Childish.

               “It would be sticky and gross if that had happened to it,” I snapped at it. It stuck its nose higher.

               “How would you know? Huh? You are a technical dress dying, expert.”

               “You’re right.” I said,” but I do have common sense, and have eaten my fair share of both mustard and dandelion flowers. So I would say I know enough to say that your dress was not dyed with that.”

               With this, the rumor weed turned towards me. She balled her hands into fists and flung them down by her side. Her shoulder then rushed up to her ears, and she took a big gulp in and held her breath. Her vines loosened.

               “I bet you can’t hold your breath longer than I can stick out my tongue.” I teased. She accepted the bait, and the vines loosened even more. I stuck out my tongue. With a little squirming, and since the rumor weed wasn’t breathing I was able to kick my foot free. She didn’t try to stop me. She was too focused on winning. To focused on being better than me. So I stood up and gathered my things. She hadn’t moved the whole time. I turned towards her. Pointed at the tongue, that was now dry, but still sticking out of my mouth. I then turned and walked away.

                                                               ------------------------------------------

               Soon after my encounter with the Rumor Weed/Gossishnuzzle, I put my tongue back in my mouth. It was super dry so I grabbed a Juice pouch from my backpack, and after first giving some to Kenai, I drank it.

               Respect the pouch, Respect it. I thought.

               Then I blew up the pouch with the air in my lungs and saved it for later. You never know when you’ll need a good explosive. I was tired, and I was almost to where I thought Morgana would have gone. Why did I think this? You may ask yourself this, but let me tell you it’s for me to know and you to find ou….Just kidding I’ll tell you. The Candy Land trail, it was the game that Morgana and I Used to play between Pitshals, and Flabbernuggets. If she had gone anywhere, it would be the candy castle.

                                               --------------------------------------------------------------

               After I took an impromptu nap, I started on my quest again. I decided I was wasting too much time trying to feed Kenai grilled cheese sandwiches. He was hungry. I was sure, but he was mad at me because I made him miss his tea party date with Stratoni’s Pegasus.

               Bears am I right.

               After some wandering I found the trail, I had been looking for. It was the shortcut that would lead me directly to the palace, but I had to hurry because it was getting late. I walked up to the fork in the road and heard a grunt. Leaning against the arrow sign was a girl a little older than me. Her face was entirely covered in make-up, her hair was just as black as her clothes, and her boots squeaked when she moved them.

               “Don’t bother” It said.

               “Why not?” I snapped, “Why do you think you can tell me what to do?”

               “I don’t care,” she said, “At least I’m not as bad as parents, am I right?”

               “Parents?” I inquired.

               “You don’t have parents? You’re lucky. All they do is yell, nag, yell, and I got sick of it. I’m my own independent woman, and they’re sitting like….”

(I censored the next few things this girl said. She used some language I am unfamiliar with, but I doubt is appropriate for young readers, you’re welcome.)

I left the, what I later found out was a Teenangster, with herself as she seemed to be self-destructing, and took the “Gloppy trail” This was the short cut the Candy Castle.

                                                               --------------------------------------------------------

               It was starting to get dark, and I didn’t have a plan.

               Ohh numbnuts, I thought. You didn’t pack anything for sleeping. So I kept walking. Kept walking. Kept walking, until I yawned one too many times. Then I found my salvation. I saw an old cottage that seemed to be made of pillows. They looked nice, and warm, and comfy. So naturally, I knocked on the bedsheet door.

               An Old lady opened it. “Caroline? Caroline? Is that you?”

               “No, I’m Cinder.”

               “Ohh thank goodness, Caroline. The McDonalds have been calling for hours saying that you just left the…..without a word…blah blah blah…”

               The lady seemed to grumble on and on for hours. While she did this, I noticed something very peculiar.

               I interrupted her, “Are you blind?” I said.

               “Why yes, yes I am.” The old lady replied.

               “Why are you blind?” I asked.

               “Well,” she said. “I’ll tell you that when you’re older.” She then motioned for me to come inside.

               “But wait,” I stopped her by grabbing her hands, “I am older, I’m older than I was when you said,” I mimicked her voice as best I could, which in my opinion, it was spot on, “’I’ll tell you when you’re older’ so tell me now.”

“Alrighty, but first let’s get you inside. You must be getting cold”

                               -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

               After some warm soup and a bathroom break, we sat down next to the fire. We were sipping hot chocolate, but it was too hot to drink so I set mine down and waited.

               “Now will you tell me?”

               “Alright fine Caroline,” I edged closer. “What do you see when you look at me?”

               I was taken aback, “Ummm…” I struggled for words, “An older lady with blue tie dye dress, a scarf that doesn’t match, and sneakers with socks that also don’t match. Who likes sunhats, and is blind.”

               “Now isn’t that interesting. Did you notice what you didn’t mention?” she paused,” No? What about my spunky attitude, my slight drawl when I say words with the letter W, what about what’s not on the surface?”

               With this foreign idea in my mind, I sipped some hot cocoa, and then promptly realized it was far too hot. The old lady stood up and made her way to the wall mirror.

               “C’mere Caroline.”

               I obeyed. Tell me what you see when you look in this mirror.

               “My hair is…longer than it used to be, and a lot less choppy. I stand up straighter and seem to look kind of like Morgana… MORGANA.”

               Ohh my geez how could I forget

I knew what this lady was now, A Hearthrop. How could I have been so foolish? I moved slowly towards my backpack that lay on the side of the door.

               “You want to know what I see.”

               “You can’t see. You’re blind.” After that remark, I kept my mouth shut. I was almost at my backpack.

               “I see a young lady who is growing up too fast and is going to lose her childhood. She’s scared of growing up, and she needs to know. She doesn’t have to…”

               I snatched my back and ran through the bed sheet door. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore, and then I kept going. It was until I stopped that I realized I had been crying.

               Potato, Potato, you idiot potato. What were you thinking?

               Don’t cry anymore.

               Don’t let her know she got to you.

               You’re stronger than this.

I collapsed against a wall, my spine slid down the rough hard candy texture until my but collided with the soft candy sand ground.

               She got to you, I thought.

                                               ----------------------------------------------

               Candy castle. I stood up and looked at the wall behind me. It expanded into a giant fortress. I, regardless of my other qualifications, was not an expert at infiltrating candy castles. So instead, I made my way around to the front door and knocked. A Grizzledomor answered the door.

               “Hello? Who are you?”

               “I….I… is M-oo-o-rrogan---…”

               “Morgan!” He shouted at the castle behind him. “Are you babysitting today?”

               “No?” I heard from the inside of the castle. “Why?”

               “There’s someone here to see you?”

               “That’s odd, why would someone be here….” Her face fell as she saw me.

               “Caroline, your mom has been looking everywhere for you, what in the world. She’s worried sick.” I stood there stunned. “Well c’mon in” she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house, she then motioned for her father to call my mother. She took me up the stairs and into her bedroom. Her hair was now a different color than it used to be, and her face was painted in a way that made her seem unfamiliar. It was make-up, I knew about that. Teenagers wore it to be unique.

               “Listen, Caroline...”

               “That’s not my name. My name is Cinder.”

               She grimaced, “Cinder”.

               I cut her off, “Why did you leave?”

               “What do you mean?” She replied.

               “You left the tribe, almost a day ago. Without saying goodbye.”

               “Caro-…Cinder. You knew I was leaving early from our birthday party. I had horseback riding lessons in the morning. Don’t you remember?”

               “Our birthday party?”

               “Yeah, we celebrated mine late and yours early because both our birthdays is on a school day. I turned 13 last week, and you will actually be 13 right about…now.”

                                               -----------------------------------------------------------------------

               “Well? Cinder?” Megan asked, “Do you feel any different?”

               I looked up at the mirror on Megan’s wall. I stood up and walked towards it. It wasn’t until I got closer that I noticed and stopped, and turned towards her and inquired.

                                                                               “Who’s Cinder?”

 ~

[ecotone99]

I think something is following me and my dog...

“Come on, Zippy!” I grabbed the leash off the hook and presented it to my chihuahua—he spun and leaped in excitement. The hot part of summer was beginning, so his walks had been pushed back a few hours. It hardly mattered, in Missouri the heat was so wet and heavy that it lingered long into the night. An hour after the sunset probably only made a couple degrees difference.

It felt slightly better than earlier, but still sticky. My clothes clung to my skin as soon as they hit open air. I decided on the shorter route, and got going.

It was still bright enough to see the earthworms, dried and shriveled, stuck to the cement. Every now and then a frog darted across our path, sending Zippy into a barking frenzy. I just shushed him and pulled him along.

I was lost in la la land when Zippy started barking again. “Zippy!” I exclaimed, exasperated. I looked up for the source. I didn’t see anything, except for in my periphery, a dark shadow zooming between a house. I thought nothing of it—deer were everywhere this season.

A block later I saw something again, weaving between the houses. I heard a very slight whirring sound, high pitched like those groan tubes from when I was a kid. As soon as I looked it stopped. Zippy was trembling now. I walked faster, trying to put it out of my mind.

We were almost home without incident when a very large shadow emerged from my right. I turned my whole body. I didn’t see or hear—wait. Across the street, the shadow behind that car. I think it’s moving.

It could be me shaking. I turn to keep going but look back at the last second. A giant, yellow eye is staring at me. It’s the only feature I can make out—it had to be the size of a car tire. It blinked and I snapped out of it, running as fast as I could, Zippy in my arms. Behind me the whirring sound grew deafening. I glanced back and a giant blob like creature was spinning towards me, shrieking.

I bounded up my steps, thanking god I hadn’t locked my door, and slammed it behind me. I latched every bolt behind me and set Zippy down.

I put my hands on my knees, panting. I closed my eyes, and began sobbing. What the hell was that? What did it want?

I didn’t have time to ponder. Zippy started barking again. I screamed. I glanced sideways at the window, urine streaming down my leg. I saw nothing. Zippy kept barking. I went to step toward him, but I couldn’t move.

I forced myself to look down. A black goo was making its way up my leg. Now that I saw it, it felt like cement. It was coming from under the door. Slowly, the eye came back into view. And the shrieking resumed. And it hasn’t stopped. Please, someone...anyone. Make it stop.

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