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catesartworks · 1 year

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Answering Asks about Isekai Maid

I received a lot of asks about Isekai Maid in my inbox, so I will post them here under the cut! They are from November to now, so check and see if yours is down there!

Cw: Discussions of abuse, xenophobia, and assault.

This is gonna be long, so buckle up!

I get what you’re saying, I don’t think that every webtoon author has these same opinions on classism and racism in these stories, certainly not. Everyone is different, not everyone is going to make the same story and their views are based on their personal ideals and upbringing.

I can’t comment knowledgeably on East Asian nobility politics in fiction, or their dynamics and the tropes used in that setting, though I can recognize the tropes being used. When a webtoon takes place in an East Asian court, it’s harder for me to get the greater scope and the cultural context because it is not the culture I was born in, so I have to do research and think about how those translate. It’s part of the fun! I get to learn something new.

But the implications come with the setting they choose. And many authors choose European/western settings and thus carry all of the issues that come with it regardless of intention.

In fact, when it comes to Otome Isekai webtoons and novels that I am criticizing, the majority I’ve read have the settings, character names, costumes, etc. are inspired by European aesthetics and nobility titles, western historical figures, artwork, etc. My “maid slapping” master post is pretty much exclusively western inspired settings.

I’ve read stories that I really love (Beware the Villainess) and ones I really dislike (Abandoned Empress), and they all to an extent use Western Aesthetic with some East Asian Nobility tropes that you mentioned at some points.

For example, the fact that Ian from Beware the Villainess and Ruve from Abandoned Empress become the Emperor when they’re illegitimate children and not born from the Empress wouldn’t happen in Europe, but I accept it nonetheless because it doesn’t really hinder the story and it’s interesting. It’s a different perspective.

I can make concessions on certain things, but not slapping maids, no matter how justified it is in the story. It just doesn’t work in European/western settings, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I think the idea of being ignorance does a disservice to those who DO take the time and effort to do their research. The internet is there, and so are books, reference material, websites that many artists and writers draw from. And there are authors who do amazing amounts of research, and care into the dynamics of the setting they’re in, even when taking liberties.

One such example is Monster Princess and Contract Duchess. It’s one of my favorite webtoons ever, I even own the physical edition. The author took great care in depicting black people and how they are drawn. The politics and power dynamics in that story are also very good and show how corrupt a system can be to children who need help the most. There is an acknowledgement of Leslie being sheltered, and going past her preconceived notions of others, being taken aback by people who do not look like her and embracing the diversity of the world around her.

Which is why is pains me when authors, no matter who, use the aesthetic of European nobility and insert dynamics that romanticize social ills (like classism) that Europe and western countries struggle with historically. If you can do extensive research on historical costume and art, then the cultural information surrounding it was always a click away.

Maids historically in the west have been people who are lower status socioeconomically, and at the mercy of their employers especially in a western setting where they are often immigrants. There are Romance Fantasy comics that acknowledge that the noble is of higher standing than a maid (who are commoners) and has more power than them, would be free to fire them and yet, still indulge in maid slapping (Duchess 50 Tea Recipes, The Lady Needs a Break, Just Leave Me Be).

And when a western inspired story is exported into a western market, it’s going to be looked at from a historical lens by people who grew up in that culture. I’m sorry, but it can’t be avoided. The author’s chose to do this and it is inevitable.

Saint Soo is a woman who was accidentally Isekai’d into Teffrah. She had healing powers and was at odds with the Empress, Christina. Empress Christina, who herself had gone back in time after being killed by the Emperor over his love for Lady Soo, already met Lady Soo and assumed that she would be just like her previous timeline self and try to win the Emperor’s affections.

But Lady Soo, in this timeline, had no memory of the previous timeline and acted differently. She became disillusioned with the emperor and the noble court after witnessing them beating a servant to death for a minor mistake. The Emperor, no longer interested in Lady Soo, went back to the Christina, who was certain that he was a different man in this timeline and deserves a second chance.

She didn’t afford this mindset to Lady Soo, who she saw as ignorant for supporting the abolishment of slavery and supporting the people of Teffrah’s constitution. Lady Soo didn’t do that in the previous timeline, so the Empress thought that she was only doing this to look good for commoners.

She had Lady Soo accused of trying to start a coup because of her involvement with supporting the constitution, and had her executed. This nearly caused a civil war and the emperor later went back to his old ways and began mistreating Christina. She was later imprisoned and executed. Lady Soo was then made a posthumous saint.

Nora Williams is transgender. She was assigned male at birth, so that is why she was wearing boy’s clothes as a child.

There are spells for transportation, time and space, sound, purification, temperature, and mind altering. Each spell has a time limit, but depending on your skill level, it can be extended from seconds, to minutes, to days to years.

The general populace tend to use things like stones and wands because they are most accessible, but with sufficient training one can use their hands to use magic. There are also laws strictly forbidding certain types of magic falling under the “time and space” and “mind altering” types of magic (though there are some grey areas because transportation magic also falls under it).

It’s a combination of a transportation spell and a sound spell. They look for key words like “reincarnator” and words relating to it, such as names of figures in history. What happens if it’s triggered is that Imperial Knights are sent an alert to arrest the person who set the spell off.

There is also a dust that covers the person in question so they are easily identified. It’s not a perfect spell though, it kind of relies on the only people who know about reincarnators being educated in that specific academy, so people who do know about reincarnators who don’t attend the academy won’t be prosecuted (like Linus)

Shellie was a bit of a troublemaker growing up, and hates the Imperial Knights with a passion. This is due to the fact that out of most of her family, she passes as a Teffrah citizen due to her light skin color. When she was a child, Imperial Knights arrested her and her mother and threw them both in prison overnight.

They didn’t believe that her mother, who was darker in skin tone than Shellie, was biologically related to Shellie and assumed she stole her. When it was confirmed that she was Shellie’s biological mother, they gave no apology whatsoever.

Shellie often got into trouble, and had a fiery personality until her parents got laid off from their work. For a long time, Shellie and her siblings had to be the breadwinners of her family, so she read hand me down books and as a result idealized the noble lifestyle to get away from the chaos.

In the original timeline, this resulted in Shellie being a people pleaser who isolated herself and had an unbalanced relationship with Anette. But in this timeline, Bridgette became someone Shellie could vent all her frustrations with, and developed a good relationship with her.

Marina has autism, she is sensitive to certain sounds and noises. Her knowing magic contributes to her using her hearing sensitivity to track when people are using spells, but it can also be painful for her.

Yep. What happened with Nahla (Lord Demeter’s birth mother) was very infamous throughout the Limpette community in Teffrah, and the nobility as well. The maids who were employed by the Demeter household were all let go, and forced to sign agreements not to talk about what happened in that household.

Servants from other households also warned young Limpette women not to accept jobs there, so there was a massive decrease in maid applications as well. While the Demeter household attempted to spin it into “Nahla fell in love with Lord Demeter and killed him” while omitting that she was assaulted and forced to have his child, they also imposed a ban on female servants before the fact that female servants were too afraid to work there came to light.

There are timelines where Marinus was rescued by his family, and Nahla survived, but they wouldn’t go to Limpette. Nahla’s family escaped Limpette because of Teffrah’s brutal occupation and military invasion. They couldn’t go back to Limpette because it’s not safe to live there.

The timeline where Marinus lives with his mother’s family would be because Lady Demeter successfully gave birth to a male heir around the same time that Marinus was born. Marinus couldn’t pass as a Teffrah child, so he and Nahla would be expelled from the household.

Nahla, no matter what timeline, wouldn’t be able to bring herself to raise him (now named Seasalt) because of the trauma surrounding how he was born. He would be raised by his aunt Talia (Marina’s mother), his grandparents, and with his cousins. his relationship with his mother is distant, but she cares about him.

Seasalt would grow up to be haughty, and very charismatic but selfish. Overall a decent person, if a bit overdramatic. He can’t handle money and always has to ask Marina for it since she handles the family's finances. He would also constantly threaten to run away and never return, but always comes back home after a few days because he blows through his savings.

Gregory’s family belongs to a fundamentalist sect of Teffrah nobility. They don’t believe in medical intervention, and are strongly opposed to things that they consider “outside of the laws of the divine will.”

To them, getting sick is just nature weeding out the weak, and if someone is weak enough to die, then they deserve to.

However, it should also be noted that this apparently doesn’t apply to the leader of their sect, or his inner circle and their families, who are allowed to have as much access to medicine as they want or need. They are deemed “socially superior” due to their wealth, and must stay alive to keep the population of Teffrah “pure” from “foreign blood.”

When Gregory fell into a coma from the poison, his parents did ask for permission to give him medical attention, but their request was denied and he died as a result.

She finds them on the ground, puts magic in them, and when they’re done they turn back into rocks.

Thank you for reading! I haven’t read Ascendance of a Bookworm yet, but I’ll check it out!

OG!Delilah would probably be very quiet but ashamed. She doesn’t like getting attention and her reincarnator is an extrovert.

OG!Anette would probably be over the moon at first that Marinus finally loves her, then get very shocked when finding out his true nature and try to run away. She would probably be at odds with her reincarnator, they are very different people and would probably argue a lot.

OG! Phoebe wanted to be more assertive, but she didn’t want what her reincarnator wanted. She is horrified by the way she treats people and can’t stand Dimitri (who she thinks is creepy).

Yes, Caravaggio’s mom is from the same town as Eriadne, though a little in the boonies.

Demons are manifestations of the magic within people that is not properly contained. Nobles who aren’t interested in magic and neglect understanding it, and commoners who lack access to education to harness it are the main victims. Magic can manifest through trauma, and if someone is too scared to die, they have a high chance of becoming a demon or spirit.

Spirits can latch onto demons and do their bidding in exchange for more power, which is what led to the problems at Eriadne’s manor. Her demon stepfather had a whole bunch of evil spirits that followed him around and resorted to eating people/possessing them in order to try and become human again.

#this isekai maid is forming a union

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spoiledsummerdasies · 4 months

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Being a fictive from a controversial source (Lolita)

A post by Delores “Lolita” Haze (NEVER CALL ME LOLITA. I MENTION IT HERE ONLY SO PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM)

This is long, and obviously covers triggering topics, so TW for everything under the cut.

Let me tell you something right off the bat, you can’t control who you split. No one in this system actively wanted to split a character from one of the most controversial and misunderstood books to ever exist. And yet, here I am. 14 years old, only girl in the system. I’m extremely lucky to have formed without exomemories, but I am fully aware of what happened to me in my source, it’s uncomfortable to live with that information, but I have to endure it. I do try and separate myself from my source to an extent, I don’t want to trigger myself you know? But the entire conversation around Lolita interests me. I categorise those who are interested in the Lolita franchise (book and movies) into four categories:

1- people who actually understood the story. They know it’s not a love story, that it’s more akin to a horror if anything. They like the story for its writing style, or the movies for the cinematography or fashion etc. these are the people I like. They don’t romanticise or victim blame.

2-people (usually young) who don’t understand the story. They’re usually young girls with an older man k*nk who romanticise it.

3- people who have zero media literacy and can’t figure out that h*mbert is an unreliable narrator who warped everything to for his sick, victim blamey viewpoint. These are the ones that get all outraged and call anyone who even mentions the story a PDF

4- literal actual PDFs who completely missed the point of the story entirely.

Notice how only 1 of those 4 categories are safe people to interact with?

The publishing industry and the 60s movie absolutely failed the story. The author himself specifically asked for no girls or pretty pictures on the cover of the book for the soul reason of making sure no one went into it with the preconceived notion it was a romance. Just look at what happened once the 60s movie came out, no preconceived notions to a whole heap of them. The red, the sunglasses, the lollipop, the girl.

While I do admittedly like the music in the 60s movie, they butchered the story. And they shed me of my entire Identity. My name is Delores Haze, Dolly or Lo to my friends. Not Lolita. That’s the name my abuser gave me to strip me of my identity. Every single character in the 60s movie calls me Lolita. They age me up to 16 (still a minor btw), they didn’t show any of the abuse (yes I know there were laws in the 60s but still), they framed it as a romance. The director was a creep too, reportedly messing around with the 16 year old actor. I firmly believe that there’d be less controversy around Lolita if the 60s movie never existed.

The 90s movie did better, but it still has its flaws. This is the incarnation of Lolita I’m mainly split from. With the red hair and the (absolutely amazing) wardrobe. It’s ok to admit the fashion is great btw, because it is. I feel like if they filmed it and edited it in a more eerie, almost horror like way they could have gotten the exact message of the book across. At least in this adaptation they show the abuse for what it is. The fighting, slapping and kicking, h*mberts creepy ass desires. And it’s good they used a body double for the more explicit parts to protect the still teenage actor. They kept me 14, still a bit older than the book but at least it’s still very young and gets the message across somewhat the same. What I think let this adaptation down was the cinematography and editing choice. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautifully shot movie. But that romantic, dreamlike, hazy view they use only further romanticised the story to many.

I bring all this up to make a point, it’s easy to romanticise the story because of what the movies did to it. Those with bad media literacy (so like half the planet) and those who haven’t read the book won’t understand the point. They’ll miss the fact this is a cautionary tale on how abusers work. That they’re often the people closest to you, that they’re manipulative, unreliable narrators, that they’ll twist things in their own favour and victim blame to justify their sick actions. I’m the victim, I always was. I’m 12 in the book, 14 in the 90s movie and 16 in the 60s one. All of those ages are minors, a child.

All of that being said: it enrages me that I can barely exist in public as a fictive of Dolly purely because people are media illiterate and don’t understand the story is and always has been akin to a horror that WARNS of the dangers of PDFs not a fucking love story. If I tell someone who I am and where I’m from it’ll either be “you read/watched Lolita? You must be a PDF” or “ew don’t romanticise Lolita!” As if we have any control over who we split. As if I’m not the victim and always was. As if the whole reason I split wasn’t because the host WAS harassed as a teenager. Just being a regular singlet who likes the franchise will get you harassed, but being a FICTIVE? It’s like walking on egg shells every single day I exist in plural spaces or just in public in general. It’s not my fault people can’t understand my source, that the publishing industry and movies failed the book, that PDFs do exactly what the book warns and warp the story to fit their sick fantasies.

I’m sure all fictives from controversial sources can relate to this part: no one ever asks how I’m doing NOW. Now I’m in a system, in a different body, in a safe environment. They stay hung up on the abuse I endured they completely neglect to get to know me for who I am now. They don’t know anything about me, my favourite colour (red), my favourite food (berries), my favourite drink (frozen coke), my hobbies (vintage collecting and fashion). I have a brother and dad in this system, a family that love me and don’t hurt me. Despite the body being trans masc, I don’t actually mind fronting. In fact I’m exited to get top surgery because in the headspace my chest is flat (bc you know, I’m a child). I’m fairly happy now, sure I have my bad days and get triggered sometimes, but I’m safe. I’m healing.

Fictives are not their source. They can be connected to it yes, but they are living a whole different life in a whole new body. They grow and change just like anyone else.

I am Delores Haze, my in sys dad calls me kiddo. My brother calls me Lo-Lo. The system calls me Dolly or Lo. Sometimes is Las, or shortie. But I’m not Lolita. I never will be. I exist in the system to help us survive, I’m not my source despite having a connection to the fashion and aesthetics. Fuck Humbert Humbert, fuck those who don’t understand my source, and fuck those who reduce introjects down to their source. I am not a “nymphette” I am a 14 year old girl.

TLDR: Lolita is not a love story, respect all introjects even if they have a controversial source. Learn media literacy. K word all PDFs.

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hellsbellschime · 2 years

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CSA & The Lolita-fication of ASOIAF

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A Song of Ice and Fire is a complex narrative that tackles a lot of incredibly uncomfortable concepts, and one of the most important and most disturbing in the entire series is the way that many of the adult characters in the story seem to view children. However, regardless of how repugnant it is, the part that these issues play in the story is vital, and the way that some fans tend to react to it is worth exploring.

There are plenty of broadly accepted fan opinions about A Song of Ice and Fire that are surprising, but one of the oddest and most unexpected is the notion that so many of the extremely young characters who are introduced to CSA at shockingly early ages have those experiences because of some commitment to historical accuracy, and that within the context of the story itself, it is actually somewhat normal for tweens and teens to be sought after and initiated to romance and/or procreation sooner rather than later, often by the adults around them.

It would be nice to say that this perspective is a surprising trend, but this point of view is uncomfortably common in pop culture at large, and there are many instances of CSA being normalized in a way that doesn't seem to be actually intended, with the most obvious being Vladimir Nabakov's landmark novel, Lolita.

Lolita is an interesting cultural touchstone in all the wrong ways, as the interpretation of the story as some tale of precocious lust has become so ingrained that the term "Lolita" has completely evolved beyond the story itself. It's not uncommon to see real-life young girls or young girls in fiction referred to as "Lolitas" if they are simply young females who appear to be romantically or intimately involved with significantly older men, accompanied by the implication that they are somehow consenting and proactive agents in this dynamic. And it should go without saying, the fact that a character who is horrifically exploited by the adult male protagonist of a story has become synonymous with a young seductress with a particular interest in older men rather than a young victim of an older man is profoundly disturbing.

But, what makes the story of Lolita interesting, especially within the context of A Song of Ice and Fire, is that the outrageously generous interpretation of these exploitative relationships seems to be driven by the fact that, essentially, the writer doesn't tell the audience that they should be repulsed by what they're reading. Interestingly, the narrators in these instances are often clearly unreliable, but because the author isn't directly and intentionally making their own moral perspective about the situation clear, many readers seem to take that absence of overt moralizing as a direct indication that what is happening isn't necessarily immoral.

Now, of course there are a great deal of audience members for both of these stories who pick up on the outrageous ick factor. Thankfully, a significant number of people don't need to be told by someone else that it's actually not normal for adults to have any kind of non-platonic interest in tweens. However, once again, the broader pop-culture definition of the term "Lolita" obviously indicates that a great deal of, if not the majority, of people who are familiar with the story interpret that story as the tale of a precocious seductress rather than a child victim of prolonged abuse. And unfortunately, the normalization of child exploitation in the A Song of Ice and Fire fandom seems to indicate that a significant portion of the reading public hasn't evolved as much as anyone would hope since the 1955 publication of Lolita.

However, the subtext that George RR Martin seems to very obviously insert into his story is telling, because while many of his point-of-view characters rationalize away either the abuse they've experienced or that they've visited upon others, the underlying message seems painfully clear, and it seems like a lot of members of the audience go out of their way to willfully avoid it.

Firstly, one of the most obvious indications that this is supposed to be interpreted as something bad is simply how egregious it really is. It is repulsive either way, but it would be far easier for an audience to swallow a relationship between, say, a 16 year old and an adult if the intention behind it was for the audience to actually think it was normal. But Martin takes things to what is largely the greatest extreme possible by making most of the characters like Daenerys, Sansa, and Arya tweens when they are prematurely introduced to anything non-platonic. And the actual effect of that extremity is astonishing.

Because, at least from my point of view, George RR Martin often makes these characters so astoundingly young specifically with the intention that no rational person could try to reason or excuse it away. Yes, many of the people involved within these storylines in the text treat it like it's normal, but frankly, no one in the audience should need to be told that an adult having any sort of interest in an eleven or twelve year old is appalling, inappropriate, and repulsive.

On top of that, one of the most obvious indications that this behavior is wrong is simply who engages in it versus who does not. Yes, the world of Planetos is harsh, brutal, and seemingly teeming with terrible people. However, the only characters who seem to engage in this kind of behavior are pretty directly coded as villains, or it is at least implied that they may be antagonists in the overall story. Because yes, from Rhaegar Targaryen to Tyrion Lannister to Khal Drogo, there are some morally ambiguous to downright villainous characters who appear uncomfortably attracted to children. But what seems incredibly relevant is that there are really no characters who are clearly morally good people who are ever attracted to inappropriately young people.

For instance, while Ned Stark may not be the unflappable paragon of virtue that some might see him as, he's about as close to a true hero as A Song of Ice and Fire gets. And it is unquestionably obvious that he as an adult would never have even the slightest hint of attraction to a child. And even beyond that, it's hard to imagine any of the outright protagonists in the story ever being remotely okay with marrying a twelve year old. Ergo, the immorality of this kind of behavior seems to be self-evident simply based on which characters do or do not engage in it. It may be an uncomfortably common problem, but it's not something that anyone who is morally good is portrayed as taking part in. I mean, in A Storm of Swords, even Robb refers to the murdered Lannister children as children despite the fact that he's barely older than they are, so there is an obvious cultural distinction applied to people of that age and it is clearly stated it is not appropriate to treat them like adults in a variety of ways.

But from an even broader storytelling perspective, the effects of exploiting disturbingly young people is very consistent and utterly catastrophic, for the victims, the perpetrators, and the entire world at large. Again, it's actually shocking how internally consistent this trend is, as it's hard to think of any character who is prematurely introduced to sexuality via an adult figure who isn't obviously traumatized by it, and whose trauma doesn't have enormously negative and far-reaching effects on the rest of the world. There are seemingly endless examples of this, and again, it is almost entirely unvarying, any character who is introduced to it too early experiences negative consequences that often have a horrendous effect on others, and anyone involved in CSA experiences negative consequences as well.

It is actually through the exploitative older characters that the moral point of view on this behavior seems to be incredibly, unmissably clear, because a great deal of them quite literally die as a direct result of CSA, oftentimes at the hands of the victim themselves. Viserys sells Daenerys to Drogo when she's far too young because he's desperate for power, and Drogo murders him. Khal Drogo rapes Dany, and he ultimately dies at her hand, regardless of how she believes she feels about him in the end. Tywin Lannister essentially assaults Tyrion by proxy by forcing him to assault Tysha, and Tyrion murders him. Lysa Tully take advantage of Littlefinger, and Littlefinger ultimately kills her.

The angles of all of these character dynamics and deaths are important, because regardless of how direct or indirect the influence is, the connection between the death of abusers as a result of the abused is quite consistent. In some instances there is a pretty direct throughline between the abuse and death, such as Tyrion's murder of Tywin. In others, it's not quite as obvious, but still extremely present.

For instance, had Viserys not sold Daenerys, he never would have met the man who killed him, and had Drogo never bought Daenerys, then the chain of events that led to his death never would have happened. And although Littlefinger's feelings about Lysa's abuse don't appear to be a direct factor in his decision to kill her, her consistent desire to take advantage of him in a multitude of ways undeniably directly led to her death in the end. Clearly, it does not pay to exploit children in the long run.

There are other angles to the price of premature intimacy as well, for instance, the more dubiously consenting relationships between older characters and younger might not be as overtly abusive as some, but it still has a significant long-term effect. So-called relationships between characters like Rhaegar and Lyanna or Viserys Targaryen and Aemma Arryn haven't been directly defined as downright abusive, but again, it's obvious that the younger characters are too young to be sexually initiated, and the consequences for these engagements are disastrous.

Many people like to romanticize whatever happened between Lyanna and Rhaegar, but obviously I think that interpretation is incorrect. I seriously doubt that Lyanna ran away with Rhaegar because she loved him and wanted to marry him, and I think it's far more likely that she was somehow intentionally misled by him.

But, even giving their relationship the benefit of the doubt, it's obvious what the problem is. Lyanna might be older than some of A Song of Ice and Fire's other child victims, but she is too young to be married to anyone, because if she were ready to be wedded and bedded, she would have been. Rhaegar took her away from any adult protection that prevented her from being exploited, seemingly exploited her, and as a result the entire continent devolved into war and House Targaryen's reign in Westeros came to an end.

Viserys and Aemma are another interesting case that shows how the consequences of child exploitation are far-reaching and extreme, and it will be interesting to see how that translates to the screen in House of the Dragon. Although it's not directly stated, it is pretty clearly implied that Aemma's pregnancies at an extremely young age led to her many miscarriages, as well as her premature death.

Aemma's story is an incredibly disturbing one for a lot of reasons. Aemma was about 11 years old when she was married to Viserys, which is yet again an appallingly young age for any girl to be married to anyone. But, her marriage to Viserys truly demonstrated the literal, physical limitations of child brides, as Rhaenyra was ultimately her only surviving issue. It also demonstrated why the theory that A Song of Ice and Fire's children are being married off to adults in the name of historical accuracy is largely incorrect, as those physical limitations apply to girls in the real world as well.

Aemma wound up dying in childbirth at the ripe old age of 23, and Viserys went on to marry Alicent Hightower. And although it is impossible to say what would or would not have happened, the likelihood that Aemma Arryn would have lived far longer and given birth to more than one surviving child had she not begun dealing with pregnancies and miscarriages at the age of 11 or 12 seems pretty high. The likelihood that she could have birthed a living son, or at the very least the likelihood that she could have lived as long as Viserys and left Rhaenyra as the only possible heir to the Iron Throne, would have been considerably higher if she hadn't been married and impregnated at such a repulsively young age. Meaning that in a somewhat direct sense, the exploitation of Aemma Arryn at least partially led to the Dance of the Dragons, which was truly the beginning of the end of the Targaryen dynasty.

Interestingly, this line of consideration can be taken even further, as characters who experience these things before they're ready for it still experience dire consequences, even if they're not being as overtly exploited. There are precocious so-called relationships like the one between Cersei and Jaime that, although it seems to be absent of a dynamic where one party is blatantly taking advantage of the other, still had dire consequences and still seems to demonstrate that under almost no circumstances should young people be sexual before they're ready.

Ironically, despite the fact that Jaime and Cersei have a relatively consensual relationship in the present, it obviously has cataclysmic effects on the entire world around them. And, it's fairly directly stated that they began to experiment with each other far too soon, as Joanna Lannister separates them in order to stop this experimentation in its tracks, and Joanna dies long before Jaime and Cersei even reach double digits in age.

And, while Jaime and Cersei claim to be in love with one another and their attraction seems to be mutual and on a relatively level playing field, they obviously have some very bizarre hangups about intimacy and love. Not to mention, their romantic relationship is quite literally the catalyst for a massive civil war, and it seems to be the bedrock for the impending destruction of their entire bloodline.

Of course, there are instances of precocious characters seemingly having no trauma associated with sexuality, but the Arianne Martells of the world of ice and fire are few and far between. The vast majority of characters who have any manner of experience before they're ready have unfortunately dire consequences as a result.

There is obviously a great deal of narrative satisfaction that comes from these many victims being the cause of their abuser's ultimate downfalls. But what is unfortunate is that there isn't really any hopeful resolution to the survivors' stories. Yes, the people who took advantage of them oftentimes die as a direct result of that, but the damage that is done still has aftereffects that linger and largely spread that trauma to others.

In one of the most obvious examples of this trauma cycle continuing long after an abuser is gone, Daenerys' point of view on her own abuse is profoundly depressing and disturbing. Not only is her marriage to Khal Drogo completely repulsive on its face, but the way that he actually treats her is horrific, and the fact that this all happens to her at such a crucial stage of emotional, physical, and intellectual development is a nightmare.

Khal Drogo's abuse is incredibly overt, and the fact that Dany's only source of potential reprieve is to essentially seduce a man who is engaging in violent CSA against her is absolutely horrifying. But it's even more horrifying that Dany ultimately rationalizes this extreme trauma by convincing herself that she is actually in love with Drogo.

And depressingly, this is an issue that she clearly never really moves on from, at least not yet. She still romanticizes her relationship with Drogo and believes herself to be in love with him. She is attracted to age-inappropriate, exploitative creeps like Daario Naharis. She rationalizes away the untoward behavior of adult men who try to take advantage of her like Ser Jorah. And tragically, her incredibly warped perspective on love, intimacy, and everything in between causes her to make some profoundly disturbing statements and decisions revolving around or related to her early abusive experiences.

For instance, the dubious consent of her intimate interactions with Irri seem to fly completely over her head. She is empathetic to assault victims when she sees them, but her solutions to these crimes are at times downright disturbing. The fact that she suggests marrying victims to their assaulters during the sack of the Lhazareen seems to very pointedly illustrate her drastically distorted view of sex.

And although it's only speculation, I think Dany's extreme abuse is likely the reason why she was so cavalier about the mass murder of anyone ages 12 or older in Astapor. Again, as we see from the more well-adjusted characters in the series, there is a cultural distinction that separates children of that age from anyone older, and again, any reasonable person understands that a 12 year old is a child. But, this choice makes more sense through the eyes of a girl who is barely older than that herself, and who was married off to a full-grown man who also happened to be an abusive rapist at the age of 13. Dany is undeniably responsible for the deaths of many children, but her perception of what children can be subjected to is also deranged because of what was done to her by Viserys and Drogo.

Characters like Tyrion and Littlefinger actually offer even more insight into the long-lasting consequences of childhood exploitation, because they are adults by the time the story begins, but the effects of their experiences seem to be obvious.

Tyrion is an interesting case study, because his behavior and point of view are incredibly unreliable, self-absorbed, and stunted. He experiences a lot of self-pity because Sansa Stark has no romantic interest in him, which is quite frankly insane. Sansa is a hostage of the family who slaughtered her own, she is forcibly married to a man who is twice her age, and Tyrion is both attracted to her and quite frustrated that she's not attracted to him.

A lot of readers seem to pay a bizarre amount of attention to the fact that Sansa finds the canonically hideously ugly Tyrion unnattractive, and that hyper-focus seems to outshine the fact that it would be absurdly inappropriate for a 13 year old to be attracted to a 26 year old under any circumstance, and that it is downright repugnant that a 26 year old is romantically interested in a 13 year old and is legitimately upset and confused about why she continually rejects him.

However, within the broader context of Tyrion's trauma, it at least makes a certain amount of sense. Firstly, his ideas about what is or is not appropriate is extremely off base. And again, George RR Martin seems to go far out of his way to make sure his character's development timelines match up, because Tyrion just so happened to be 13 years old when he met and married Tysha.

Tyrion's brief relationship with Tysha informs a great deal of his point of view regarding all things romance, and while the more obvious examples of this obsession come in the form of issues like his fixation on prostitutes, it seems entirely reasonable that Tyrion's view on sexuality was likely permanently stunted and scarred after Tysha's gang assault and Tyrion's own abuse. It's not hard to imagine why he would have such a childish view about his marriage to Sansa, and horrifically, why he might be attracted to someone Sansa's age, because the only time he experienced any semblance of passionate enjoyment prior to extreme trauma was when he and Tysha were that age.

But, an explanation is not an excuse, and Tyrion's perspective and behavior have a clear negative impact on the people around him. Sansa luckily escaped their marriage mostly unscathed, although again, many readers seem to overlook the fact that Tyrion did essentially assault her on their wedding night despite the fact that the marriage wasn't consummated.

However, Shae seems to be the most obvious and tragic example of how Tyrion's childhood trauma can very severely impact others. Frankly, his feelings and perspective on Shae is completely irrational. Yes, she's at least older than Sansa, but she is literally a paid companion who has zero power in comparison to anyone bearing the surname Lannister. So, the fact that Tyrion literally kills her for her supposed betrayal with absolutely no recognition of the fact that Shae has been used and manipulated by many people including him and that she owes him no loyalty whatsoever is profoundly disturbing.

Unfortunately, Sansa appears to be a veritable creepo magnet, because she escapes the captivity of one predator because another predator wants her even more. Littlefinger has seemingly never been a particularly selfless or caring individual, but his experiences with Lysa and the rest of the Tullys clearly informed nearly every aspect of his being, and it's not hard to feel sympathy for the exploited and discarded child that he was in his formative years.

Littlefinger often seems to reference Catelyn's rejection as the primary driving force behind his desire to acquire as much power and status as possible, but it seems extremely likely that the unstated and obvious driving factor is largely his experiences with Lysa and the rest of House Tully.

Petyr's perspective on Lysa and Cat is fascinating, because although Lysa assaulted Littlefinger when he was too drunk to even realize what exactly was happening, he has at least tried to convince himself that Catelyn was the person who did it, and seems to take a certain point of pride in the notion that he was the one who deflowered both of Hoster Tully's daughters. However, on some level he must be fully aware that that's not true, and that Lysa and Hoster both essentially took horrific advantage of him.

Petyr's first experience with Lysa was undoubtedly a traumatic event that he tried to rewrite within his own mind. It seems likely that on some level he knows Lysa is the one who assaulted him, and it would actually make sense that he would sleep with her later, as it's fairly common for assault victims to attempt to regain some semblance of control over the situation in a similar way. But what happens afterward actually makes things exponentially more horrific.

Littlefinger was likely intimate with Lysa as a means of suppressing the genuine trauma of what she did to him before. But, when their intimacy is revealed, Littlefinger, a teenage boy who spent his formative years with the Tullys in Riverrun, is tossed out like yesterday's trash without a second thought. He is a nearly powerless child, and the people around him who likely felt like family to him either directly abused him, got rid of him to cover up that abuse, or straight-up ignored him once he was gone.

There was probably an aspect of Baelish's personality that was always going to aim high, but his desperation for power and his willingness to horrendously exploit others was likely either created or extremely magnified by this particular experience.

Because, although Littlefinger does have his hand in a lot of different pies, one thing that is odd and doesn't really get the attention that it deserves is that he's a brothel owner. On its face this might not seem that strange, but Petyr Baelish is supposed to be a bit of a monetary genius, and a great deal of his machinations revolve around his ability to be strategic with money.

To put it simply, there are many avenues through which Littlefinger can make more money with less effort. Not to mention, that line of work is an unnecessarily seedy option for someone who is already too lowborn for many of the positions he occupies and aims for, and there are a lot of unnecessary risks that come along with it. For instance, being the one to personally take custody of Jeyne Poole and open her up to horrific abuse is likely something that will massively backfire on him in the long run, even if he doesn't realize it. And more importantly, it's not actually something that he needs to do himself. So, it's actually pretty weird that he leaves himself open in this way, especially since he doesn't have to.

But it's also not difficult to see the throughline from his own experiences to what he does now. He was exploited and mistreated by people far more powerful than he was, and he now exploits and mistreats people that he's far more powerful than.

When it comes to Sansa, Littlefinger's post-traumatic experiences take on an even more meaningful and interesting point of view. Obviously, like Tyrion, his attraction to Sansa is gross, weird, and it's even weirder that he doesn't get how weird it is. However, his obsession with using her to rewrite his own history is extremely interesting and layered as well.

Littlefinger's seemingly impulsive decision to kill Lysa when she catches him putting the moves on Sansa is a bit of a shock, as she has been one of the most useful tools in his toolbelt, and his already precarious position in the Vale is thrown into much greater chaos as a result of Lysa's death. However, from the point of view of childhood trauma Petyr, this must largely feel like a dream come true.

Because sincerely, Littlefinger's opportunity to change his own narrative in this moment is straight-up wish fulfillment. Instead of being the child who is completely rejected by the woman that he loves and used and abused by the woman that he doesn't, now he gets to be the person who actually wins the girl of his teenage dreams, at least in his own mind, and he gets to be the person who kills the villain of his story. From an external perspective, that entire event is complete madness and chaos, but from his own point of view, he is probably living out his teenage hero fantasies in these moments.

Unfortunately, Petyr is no such hero, and while Lysa doesn't deserve much pity for her ultimate comeuppance, there are still an untold number of people who are completely innocent whose innocence was taken or destroyed by Littlefinger. Baelish may have wound up becoming a bad guy either way, but he undeniably became much worse as a result of Lysa taking advantage of him.

Of course, it is entirely possible to be mistreated by people without visiting that abuse onto others, but A Song of Ice and Fire really seems to emphasize the cyclical nature of this abuse, the manner in which it can grow, and the way in which it always has permanent psychological effects on the children who have to suffer through it. Even the people who manage to work through their trauma and decide to be better usually go through some serious growing pains on the way, and those pains often result in yet more trauma being spread to the innocent people around them. Not only is the price of CSA high, but it's one that has to be paid over and over again.

In a sense, the urge to rationalize away this behavior is understandable. The fact that the characters themselves rationalize it makes it considerably easier for the audience to do so as well, and it is largely easier to overlook the issue rather than delve into something that is this horrific, especially since the books don't go out of their way to moralize about it in the way that most media does. I mean, even the creators of Game of Thrones aged up the characters and whitewashed many of A Song of Ice and Fire's key abusers to sidestep this problem, so it comes as little surprise that the readers often do the same.

However, attempting to normalize it seems to be a mistake, and seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of the story being told. Because as should be obvious by now, the subtext revolving around this issue is consistent and clear. CSA has a major impact that ripples throughout the entire society of Planetos, and the fact that some characters can get away with it or rationalize it does not mean that the audience is supposed to perceive it as acceptable. As the actual storytelling demonstrates, it is very obviously meant to be unacceptable. Consistently incorporating actions and behaviors that only bad guys participate in and that often gets them killed is not particularly ambiguous writing, and even if George RR Martin is showing readers that it's wrong rather than telling them that it is, the message is the same.

Sexuality and sexual trauma in the world of ice and fire is complex and layered, which makes it more interesting and harder to deal with. Looking at an abusive person and actually empathizing with the experiences that made them that way is not something that most people are comfortable with, but frankly, it's much better to do that rather than to pretend that these kinds of behaviors or points of view are normal or acceptable in any society, even an imaginary one.

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #my videos #Youtube

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performing-personhood · 8 months

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Sigh

Okay. So, I've got this catch-22 problem when it comes to getting my emotional needs met. And I am having a hell of a time finding anyone else talking about this, so I guess I gotta.

Context and the issue behind the cut. CW: childhood emotional neglect, and adult emotional self-neglect, difficulty with emotional openness

I'm a survivor of emotional neglect from emotionally-immature parents who themselves had unchecked untreated childhood trauma. I'm also a survivor of longterm adolescent emotional abuse from a peer romantic partner. Also also, I was homeschooled for nonreligious political reasons, so I literally had no external support system. Nor healthy relationships or friends at all until I was 15. It's a complex situation whose morphology does not slot neatly into the standard predefined trauma categories.

Basically the TL;DR is that I spent my entire adolescence surrounded by people who never once made an effort to check in with me, assuming that if I was quiet I was fine and that because I was listening I was available to perform emotional labor. People who, probably, assumed I would come to them if I needed something, despite having no evidence of that being a thing I am capable of doing.

As a result I'm a people-pleasing compulsive listener, so I naturally attract people with a desperate innate need for an audience.

The problem with attracting these otherwise-lovely humans is that these people also believe that I will come to them if anything is upsetting me and otherwise if I'm quiet I am most likely fine so there's no reason to check in with me.

In the same way they believe I will come to them with a problem or need, I believe that if they have an interest in how I am doing they will come ask me about it. They're very open about everything else, you see, so I figure there's no subtext at play and they'll come to me when they want to know something. They do it for everything else, why should this be different.

And therein lies the rub.

I was raised to understand that my needs were not as important as other peoples' needs, and that most people would come ask me if they wanted to know how I am doing but otherwise don't really care one way or another. Nobody has ever made much of an effort to disabuse me of this notion. Because it's awfully convenient for them, I think, to have a person around who has no apparent needs or preferences. Which I did by design to make myself acceptable, but as a result, I am now a completely invisible adult.

Here's where the catch-22 problem happens.

The pattern goes like this:

I suffer in silence because I believe my needs are unimportant to others.

My galloping-and-unreigned RSD repels me from asking for my needs to be met because I believe that will be an inconvenience and a bother, and I will be rejected.

I do not display outward signs of distress in order to not inconvenience others, and to protect myself from any potential rejection.

Nobody thinks to check in because I'm not making any outward signs of being in distress.

Wanting someone to check in with me becomes yet another thing I have to ask for.

I'm uncomfortable asking for things because of my belief that my needs are unimportant, that others are too busy for me, and that I'll be rejected even if I do manage to ask because if they do want to know how I am then they will approach me and ask.

I can't explain this problem to anyone, so they might think to ask more often in the future, because it might hurt their feelings to know they've hurt my feelings and I am legitimately petrified of making someone perform nonconsensual emotional labor (lest I become the monsters who made me this way)

Nonetheless, nobody is expressing curiosity about my wellbeing and thus my belief that my needs are unimportant to others is reinforced.

Do you see the problem here.

#adult survivors of childhood emotional neglect #childhood emotional neglect #trauma survivors #abuse survivors #emotional abuse survivors #childhood trauma #childhood trauma survivors #adult children of emotionally immature parents #trauma responses #learned behavior #unhealthy behavior patterns #trying to be better #it is really fucking hard

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vizthedatum · 1 year

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I am actually fine - and I am not lying to you. I am unmasked, and I have always been an emotional person.

CW: all and disorganized emotional processing that makes cohesive sense in my mind (inner monologuing remark: since people freaked out when I was a kid and just wanted to institutionalize me or tell on me or not believe me, I am not going to hide the reality of my human experience any longer. What are you going to do now? Which authority are you going to tattle me to? Some deity? Are you going to silence me when I say something that makes you uncomfortable? Give me some advice that I'm not asking for? Gossip about me instead of confronting the epidemic of domestic violence... and the violence of this existence? Discriminate me from employment (joke's on you - I have so many skillsets that I do not actually need to use my PhD to survive - I am fucking untouchable and all of you know it)? (To be clear - I want actual support in the form of holding what I have to say or for you to walk away acknowledging that you're too fucking weak to handle what I have to say (which is valid btw lol). I am very majorly in treatment for a million things - and I'm not going to magically be 100% better just like that. I will never be but no matter what happens, the best thing you can do is to *trust me*) I dare you to try to tear me down when I'm like this - because I'm the most powerful I have ever been. Help yourself instead. All of you are adults, if you don't want to read what I have to say, then get off the fucking internet or simply ignore it like you ignore all the fucking atrocities of this world. I'm angry, and I don't care if I'm being reasonable anymore. I don't care. I've been discarded so much, that I do not care who leaves me anymore. I played nice. I've been understanding. I've educated people on things they could easily look up. I justified myself when I didn't have to. I have entertained notions of racism, discrimination, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia, etc., etc. I have hidden my emotional responses because people thought I was too much.)

Healing isn't linear (and you have no idea how much I just want to not do it - I just want to dissociate and seem "ok"), and I've cried on and off all morning. I got a lot of closure visiting my family. I miss the love that I thought was love but didn't really fill me anyway.

I wrote a kind of poem that this morning: https://at.tumblr.com/vizth.../i-am-susceptible/xu7bu50ijxxn

River just sent me this song, and now I am also playing it on the repeat (thanks babe):

Has a dread I could've never dreamed of

And it haunts me just to think of what I've done

In the light of everything we've become

I'm finally learning to love myself better than I have before

And I know that means I'm breaking your heart

Insecure and unnecessary disclaimer that doesn't need to be said and will likely not change anyone's mind but I'm going to say it anymore because I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE - I get to be as insecure as I want and I get to be as confident as I want: I don't need you to tell me you understand because I'm going through a hard time or whatever - I know all that already. Don't "aww yeah you're going through it, of course, you're feeling this way" or avoid doing/saying things with/to me or "therapy!" or whatever - it makes me feel even more awful. It's not validation for me to regurgitate what you think you see - because it makes me feel fucking broken in a judgmental way, and it makes me think you're a hypocrite (because you're broken too - this life breaks all of us, just some more than others). I know I'm broken - I have been broken since I was a toddler... and I made it this far. Through rampant abuse, constant SI, several chronic health conditions, more abuse, severe imposter syndrome or something to the point where I really think I don't know what I'm doing and then I forget how to do linear regression wtf.

Do you know what that took to get out (even though I had massive help?)?

Let me tell you what happened - I had several sets of concurrent memories through the timeline of my relationship, and while I knew which one was real... I had to gaslight myself to protect myself in addition to the gaslighting that was already happening to me. Then there was all the external gaslighting because people didn't know and I wasn't ready to really tell them. I fought so hard to maintain some facade of contentment in my relationship, because if I actually verbalized it... I would literally lose my mind and would not be able to do anything. You cannot just leave domestic violence. You have to be ready and many of us are not. And if we leave when we're not ready, it can be SO EASY to go back or get yourself into another situation... especially if you don't have any support. There are very poor infrastructures in place for "survivors" all over the world. What does it even mean to survive anyway...

I was incredibly lucky that I got out when I did. I was so lucky to have some money and a high credit score. I was lucky to have my health. I was lucky to have somehow completed my education. I was lucky to have been on the meds I was on. I was lucky that I had friends who didn't abandon me and basically carried me (and continue carrying me).

Because they would have taken all of it if they could. They ramped up the psychological torture when I came back from MN last November. They were going to take my medication. They were going to have me isolated indefinitely. They were screaming at me for one hour and the next hour, they were sweet. Over and over again. The psychosexual torture fucked me up. They made me question my reality constantly. They complimented me while putting me down - so fucking masterful. They made my living environment nearly inhabitable. It still wasn't as bad as what my mom did or even the overt rape/assault that my previous partners did. It's hard to compare all of it. I was scared out of my mind. I was taking as much weed and klonopin or anything else as I could so I couldn't feel anything... while plotting my escape.

If I didn't cut off my relationship with my parents last April and accepted that their form of "love" wasn't love - then I wouldn't have been able to:

- lower my blood pressure

- lose all my stress weight

- reduce my flares and chronic inflammation of my bladder (I mean I still have all those but it's less)

- finally come out as poly and breathe again

- really start embracing my gender nonconformity and transness

- really get excited about having a baby

- and start getting ready to fucking leave Jon

Only those who have gone through it (or are going through it or have gone through it for years) know exactly how much strength it took (and is taking) to break this fucking cycle, knowing full well that you can fall right back into it if you're not careful.

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amynchan · 2 years

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No matter how much you try to change from your foundations to be a better person, you're gonna run into biases you didn't know you ever had, and you're even gonna run into preconceived notions that you unintentionally got from trying to be a better person.

When this happens, it's ok. You're human, just like the rest of us. Here's what you do:

Recognize that it's a bias or a preconceived notion. The hardest part about this is our longing to be 'good' that forces us into denial and makes the problem worse. So don't do that. Recognize when there's a problem.

Examine it. Why is this bias here? What does it mean for you? What kind of conclusions does this notion help you to reach?

Ask yourself how you can apply little changes to change it. Just little stuff. Trying to turn around big ideas in a matter of a few days is really, really difficult, but trying to ignore it will leave it there forever.

Keep at it. You're gonna fall and stumble a bit, and that's okay. Just keep at it, and you'll do better.

Example under the cut because mine is kinda controversial (and I'm used to that)

So in trying to be a better person, I started resisting what I learned as a kid and leaned into the whole 'people love who they love' bit. Gay rights, trans rights, lesbian rights, you name it. So I spent a very long time trying to deprogram what I'd learned so I could be a better ally. A lot of people have this story.

Where this story starts is when I was reading a gay fanfic (which is honestly now one of my favs and I love it so much. Partially for the reason about to come).

So one of the characters has an ex boyfriend he calls 'spontaneous Kyle.' When I read it, I thought that that was a strange name for a girl, and it took me forever to realize that a gay man had had an unsatisfying relationship with another man. It wasn't even exaggerated abusive (which I'm used to as a narrative device from lots of angles), it was just an uncomfortable relationship that didn't work out. It also wasn't the only one of his previous relationships that didn't work out. There was a dude that was likened to a teddy bear, really sweet, but it just didn't work out because of life stuff.

Here's where my reprograming had gone wrong: I presumed that once gay men broke out of heteronormative trends, the first man they found would be infinitely better because no social restrictions and therefore be True Love. I had a bias, hidden from myself, that gay love is intrinsically better and therefore true and Couldn't Go Wrong barring excessive abuse.

That is where my efforts to become a better ally led me (because romance, though I really want it, isn't something that makes immediate sense to me, so I gotta think it through a lot).

So that was step 1. Recognizing that I had that preconceived notion. It took a whole fanfiction outside of my perspective to see, but now that I could, I was Flabbergasted, and I realized that that had to Change.

So, onto step 2. I had to figure out why I thought gay love was better and what led to that thinking. What I eventually figured out is that in the campaigning for rights, LGBTQ present their case as fiercely as possible, arguing to be natural to themselves against the forced heteronormativity of most society. It's a persuasion tactic, and it's honestly one I don't blame them for using, but as I was passively absorbing the media around it, it went too far in my mind.

So I had to look really hard at it and say 'what do they really want?' And the answer I, a heteroromantic demisexual, finally came to was that they just want the choice of it. They want to meet people, put their hearts on the line, get those hearts broken, and trial and error their way to true love in the same way straight people get to now. Big difference to what I initially thought, which was "get rid of the heteronormativity so we can all find our One True Love immediately," which is what I'd unintendedly absorbed through all of the LGBTQ media and campaigning.

Listen: this is about recognizing and changing biases and preconceived notions. I wouldn't be able to outline this process if I didn't go through it myself.

Step 3 is actually about how to change those biases. Since it'd be really intrusive--not to mention rude af--to ask actual LGBTQ people about their dating history and whether they'd found dissatisfying LGBTQ relationships in the past, I went back to the fanfiction. Whenever I read 'spontaneous Kyle,' I forced him to take shape in my mind. The other boyfriends, too. I forced them to take shape and be paired off with the character so I could force myself to visualize what I'd unintentionally ignored. Same for other fanfictions. If I saw a past partner, I'd force myself to stop and visualize what that had to be like to remind myself that love is love in the way that it is messy, confusing, and not always straightforward.

Step 4 is one I'm still on and will be on until the notion is fully dispelled. The fact that it still sometimes catches me by surprise reminds me that I need to keep working at it until it's just another fact of life.

So I feel like I'm at least aware of and changing that bias, and I know there are others lurking around in my brain just because of how I was raised and how I myself tried to overcome what I saw as shortcomings in my own raising. I'm going to get it wrong, and so are you. However, taking the moment to admit what's going wrong and taking steps to correct it helps you move forward as a person.

Anyways, this is for the people who are like me and usually terrified to admit that they've done wrong in trying to become a better person because they feel like they're about to be horribly punished for trying to do the right thing. Even if you made a mistake, you're allowed to try to do better.

it's safe to try and do better.

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thevalleyisjolly · 3 months

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Yes it can be uncomfortable to watch but man do I like the Time Lord Victorious arc. It directly confronts and brings into light the paradox of the Doctor - that our beloved protagonist, someone who has made a stand time and time again for kindness and forgiveness and love, is not only capable of but willing to commit grievous abuses of power for selfish reasons. That's the point, that the same Doctor who has done so much good in the universe is also the same Doctor who has before and is again willing to use that power in self-serving ways.

Arrogance is a recurring character trait with the Doctor across most of their regenerations. Again and again, they swan into situations, issuing orders and telling people what to do like they're the ultimate authority. The difference is that up until now, it's usually worked out - the bad guys are defeated, at least some people survive, and the Doctor's course of action was proven mostly right (or at least partially justified) in the end.

Time Lord Victorious sets up a situation where it can't work out, where there is meant to be no happy ending. In such a situation, the Doctor's values, which are normally aligned with his personal limitations and which together justify his sense of authority, clash with what he knows he must not do. He values life. He cannot save their lives. He's always been able to save something before. He can never save the people that really matter to him. Why can't he? He knows what is best - he's always known what is best before. If someone knows what is best and they're capable of making it happen, well, why not? These people, these brilliant people, are terrified, they're going to die. He can hear their screams. He's always been able to save something. He can save them. He should save them. Isn't that what the Doctor does?

We see the qualities which usually make the Doctor a hero equally enable his worst aspects. A commanding presence and leadership under pressure makes him a natural figure of authority in a crisis, and equally feeds into his own sense of importance. Compassion for life leads him to show mercy and go to great lengths to help people, and also serves as self-justification for the actions he takes in that process, to the point where the appearance of compassion supercedes actual care for the people involved. His contempt for oppression and bullies inspires him to fight for people's freedom everywhere; it also reaffirms that he is outside anyone's power and can do whatever he likes.

Yes, Time Lord Victorious is uncomfortable to watch. It's one of the Doctor's worse moments, the time when some of their most unappealing aspects surface and the Doctor chooses wrongly. But I think that's also what makes it so important. We are forced to confront the notion that the Doctor is not inherently good. The same qualities which have shined through positively in past good deeds are the same qualities which he now abuses for his own self-centred reasons. Like any other living being, the Doctor is capable of both great good and great bad, and they have to constantly make the choice to do the right thing. Sometimes they succeed. Sometimes they succeed but they do not do so kindly or wholly willingly. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes, as Time Lord Victorious makes viscerally and uncomfortably obvious, they fail very badly indeed.

While I understand characterizations of Time Lord Victorious as the Doctor's "dark" side, I don't think it's meant to function in that sense of "Oh, this is the Doctor's hidden villainy." Rather, I think Time Lord Victorious brings to the forefront the power that the Doctor has always had to commit great deeds, both illustrious and terrible, and then the Doctor's conscious choice in this instance to actively wield this power in the wrong way for the wrong reasons. He was tired of feeling powerless and small and wanted to have things exactly his way, just for once. No more losing people because he was holding himself back. After everything he'd seen, everything he'd been through, he wanted his reward and if nothing in the universe was going to give it to him, he'd make it happen himself.

#doctor who #doctor who meta #look i just think having characters make unforgivable decisions is a great device for exploring who they are #something about seeing someone at their worst being an avenue to understanding them at their best #just a really compelling dive into how they make decisions and how they justify those decisions to others and to themselves

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lazyrezi · 7 months

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I have many thoughts, and I wouldn't exactly say I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say in defence of trauma dumping because it's not a defence, more perhaps an explanation of sorts...? But also this got away from me a little and I am sorry but I can't edit out any of it.

I don't know if I have ever trauma dumped on anyone, BUT I know for a fact that i have said things offhandedly that have made those around me extremely uncomfortable and often that discomfort turned to pity.

Where I was coming from at the time was this very deluded notion that was supported by everything I have ever since on tv and social media in general, and that notion was that everyone is suffering. Everyone has shitty parents. Everyone feels misunderstood. And sure. To a degree, yes. BUT. While it's important to see others suffering to know when to lend a helping hand for those in need or to simply sympathise with your fellow people it is a whole other thing when one uses that very same concept to excuse/normalise abusive behaviour. I am not disregarding the idea completely. Everyone has gone through varying degrees of shit. No one comes out of life unscathed, and that's a very human thought that we must all come to in order to be better. Unfortunately for the longest I have twisted that notion into something that it wasn't supposed to be and it was this; oh, so everyone went through very similar things as I did and worse and they're capable and well adjusted unlike me! Not only does this mean that what I went through was completely normal but also that I was merely incapable by default or some design in my system to better handle it! Other people feel exactly the same as me! Therefore, it is normal to feel this way!!

This is a stupid way of thinking of it, and not only that, but it is also a dangerous trap. Not everyone has gone through the same things. And me thinking that meant that I often made casual comments about my own experience with my parents specifically and how they treated me. And I regretted it every time because I would either get unwanted pity that confused me - or that other person would flat out say that their parents would NEVER do that or that they themselves would NEVER resent them which in turn would make me feel like I was lying about my own experience... which is just beyond stupid, but that's how i felt. It felt like when anyone denied this "universal" experience to be theirs, what they were really saying is that it didn't happen to me either. It couldn't have because my upbringing was normal! Just like theirs! Or it meant that it also happened to them, but they were the ones who handled it better, who, despite it all, never felt unloved. They were simply more grateful, better children to their parents or OR they were somehow deemed to be more worthy of love and support because in my twisted little mind I couldn't comprehend that not everyone had the same experience that I have because that is how i learnt to deal with it. I had to confront after too many occasions where I would slip up, and people around me would turn to me with pity that this wasn't, in fact, normal. And I guess maybe that isn't trauma dumping because they weren't strangers but we weren't that close either; I simply felt comfortable enough around them to talk about these things and because I was very isolated from my peers growing up I had no idea what was normal and what wasn't. Not to mention that everyone in my family normalised what went on. It seems like a common way to deal with stuff like this. Your mother shrugs it off, and your older siblings makes jokes of it, and you know it feels wrong but you don't know how to put it into words and everyone around you is acting like it's fine and then everyone on TV and online is saying that everyone goes through shit and you twist it and twist it until you also believe it is normal. Because if isn't. Well, that could mean many things, but one of them, the wrong conclusion, could just be that you deserved it. If other people aren't treated like that well why were you? Maybe you were too unruly too loud too disruptive. Maybe you were undeserving of love. And that is too bitter a pill to swallow, so you instead normalise it.

I guess I am just saying that one could slip up and say revealing things about one's experiences because one does not have a grasp on how not normal it all was until people deny them the excuse that it is normal. Everyone has shitty parents. Everyone felt unsafe around their father. Everyone was more relieved than betrayed when their father abandoned them. For that matter, everyone's father has abandoned everyone! I know that's a running joke online, and I know it is based on some truth but. Am I the only one who, instead of finding comfort in this knowledge, believed that it was normal to the point that when I see a loving father, I am still to this day thrown. Confused. Envious. I have met many people who have loving normal, wonderful parents who might not be perfect still, but there is love there. Unconditional supportive attentive kind of love. And I think it's important to remember that's normal. That should be the standard.

On another note, the normalisation of any kind of abuse is a very ugly trap. My mother has only just come to terms with the ways she has been abused as a child, and that carried over well into her adult life. She has repeatedly seeked out the same controlling personality to mould her life around. It can get you into dangerous situations if you don't know the difference between what's abuse and what's normal and unfortunately a big part of being around an abuser is that they will make you think their behaviour is warranted and that you somehow were deserving of it. And. The saddest part is that even after you combat these thoughts, come to these very uncomfortable realisations, and assign blame where blame belongs , you still might not be able to call it what it is. I slip back into normalising my childhood so often, mostly because I don't feel like anything that bad happened to me. It could have been worse. Some have it worse. That is such a dangerous slippery slope. If you do not grant yourself sympathy, you might go around talking about your horrible fucked up experiences like it was nothing to people who have also gone through something of the same degree! And then that person who might be dealing with the same struggle (calling it what it is) might fall back on the same crutch that you are clinging to - "oh, it wasn't that bad, really." And I don't think I need to say this, but that kind of thinking really makes one an easy target for further abuse. It is this weird disregard for your own well-being that came from being treated like that in the first place.

Also. This is uncomfortable. But. When a child is abused and they normalise it, not only are they likely to fall into similar unhealthy relationships where they are being abused but... they also might grow up to be the abuser. Maybe that doesn't come from normalisation as much as a victim complex, WHICH SOUNDS MEAN BUT BARE WITH ME. The abused child is absolutely the victim that is no complex. But then it happens too often that when that abused child grows up and they have children of their own they treat them the same way they were treated because they not only believe it to be normal but also are convinced that their pain was somehow bigger. If your father regularly choked you, what's a few slaps on the head and a lot of yelling? If it happened to you every day, what's a few times a week really?

And that's why comparing your pain and experiences to measure up who is the bigger victim is counterproductive. No one benefits from trying to dismiss someone else's pain, and that is why I wanna make it clear. Everyone does go through shit. Absolutely. This isn't a competition that's not my point. My point is how fast spread abuse can get if we continue normalising abusive behaviour, and to stop doing that first, we have to acknowledge that not everyone has been abused.

Ha. I really thought I said something groundbreaking there, but I bet that's just obvious to some. That's, I guess, the point of this post. It's for me to remind myself that it isn't normal. Not everyone was abused. And I guess it's a post for anyone else out there if they struggle with coming to terms with how bad their abuse was, if they want to keep dismissing it because it is easier than dealing with how it changed them, and a reminder to not. Do. That. It doesn't work. It only makes things worse. Call it what it is.

#tw abuse #tw trauma #thoughts #wow i have nothing more to say #i had to get this out i had to write it down put it into words #otherwise i might just start dismissing my own experiences again #and its sad that i have to remind myself that it doesnt benefit anyone else out there #to either trauma dump on them accidentally #or make someone else question their own experiences #when it should be enough that it isnt good for me #ah i guess i did have more to add after all!#personal #ok to rb

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itjustneedsaname · 2 years

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Conspiracy theory that I came up with while brushing my teeth last night lol:

The concept of “cringe” is a PsyOp. The people running Instagram, Facebook, and other social media sites don’t want us to believe that genuine emotional expression is possible or desirable; because that very thing is, in fact, one of the antidotes to the soullessness of contemporary technocapitalism, and we consume more when we are feeling isolated, hopeless, and jaded. In this sense, they have a very real vested interest in conditioning us to physically recoil when we read something earnest or written from the heart. The expectation that we should only share sanitized “highlight reels” and “positive” posts on social media ensures that, eventually, everyone feels alone and alienated. Because a lot of life ISN’T positive. It can be healing just to find another person who makes you go, “You’ve felt that, too??” “You experience this, too?” “That happened to you, too?” This happens most powerfully in discussions about the stuff most people tend to conceal in the shadows of their personal lives. But those conversations can’t happen on the broad scale afforded by social media platforms if they’re automatically labeled “cringe.”

Fear and shame are powerful motivators for the human brain, so individuals’ anxieties about being ostracized are exploited, amplified, and reinforced as more social media users unquestioningly adopt the hegemonic notion that certain forms of expression are inherently “cringe” - and at times openly mock people who share about themselves online earnestly. It seems that, increasingly, the definition of “cringe” has ballooned beyond the initial definition of awkwardly oversharing to encompass anything remotely sincere.

On a subconscious level, this has a potentially deep impact; namely, the lower our level of tolerance for witnessing other people’s feelings, the lower our tolerance for witnessing our own. It is well known in the field of psychology that, unless we acknowledge our own emotions, they can never be addressed. And until they’re addressed, they will live in our bodies and make us sick, numb, and depressed. Again—all ideal states for consumers to be in! If people can be trapped in those states in perpetuity, they will be reliable consumers for life 🤑🤑🤑

Further, some of us are so desensitized at this point that we can casually read entire comment threads or message boards full of people saying the most vile, abusive shit back and forth to each other; but then have a visceral response of discomfort or even disgust when reading ONE heartfelt thing. Think about that!!!

Even if it’s NOT a PsyOp, we are all being conditioned by social media (even more deeply than many of us already are) not only to think of harassment and harmful behavior as commonplace (even ubiquitous!), but to overtly reject and turn away from people’s authentic bids for connection in what is an increasingly disconnected society. The aesthetics of communication on social media seem to oscillate between the two extremes of WWE bravado and Folgers coffee commercials and frankly THAT should repulse us more than someone admitting they’re fuckin’ sad or hurting or feeling any other genuine emotion.

So if you notice yourself feeling weird about people who engage online with sincerity and use it as a space to sort out their experiences and feelings, ask yourself (a) whether there is actually any harm being done by openly discussing grief, loss, heartbreak, struggle, etc. - or whether those are in fact universal experiences with the potential to connect us, relieve some degree of suffering, and/or help other people reframe or make sense of their own pain; and (b) how comfortable you are with your own emotions, and whether you cringe at those, too.

We should all fight as hard as we can to stay connected to each other’s humanity, even if’s uncomfortable and hard to look at. Life isn’t comfortable; it is a literal and metaphorical bloodbath (albeit a sublime one). If you’re comfortable for more than a brief while, you are dead in one sense or another. We desperately need to practice cultivating compassion for ourselves and for others, because it is the bedrock of human connection, which is just about the only thing worth living for.

TL;DR social media users function as an ideal consumer base for advertisers when they feel isolated, jaded, “broken,” and emotionally cut off from other people. We would be wise to consider the possibility that the concept of “cringe” may be a PsyOp designed not only to stifle but to sow explicit aversion to authentic expression and interpersonal connection, thereby enhancing alienation and consequently driving sales.

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vrishchikawrites · 3 years

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Could I have a prompt? 🥺🥺 So WWX is taking bath in the Cold Pond to heal from the wounds by the discipline paddle (which I assume he was punished being clothed in his Black robe or in his Gusu Lan disciple robes or Head disciple Jiangs robes whichever fits). Before going to CR, wwx is whipped by mdm yu and LWJ notices wwx’s raw red scars and many scars across his back kinda overlapping and not yet being healed because maybe MDM yu sealed his core or something. LWJ, or with LXC saw WWX’s many crisscrossing scars and realize they’re still raw and kinda risking for infection because when mdm yu unseals his spiritual energy before going to CR, WWX never thought of healing it. Cue LWJ and LXC gets horrified and ask WWX why he had many scars on his back (or other parts of his body can also be included!) no pressure 💕 I love your writing! ❤️❤️

Anyway, it is set during the period in which WWX studies at CR. Lån Qiren, who is obviously not eyeing Wei Wuxian just in case the boy creates some trouble ends up realizing that he is too non chalant about not eating (because the food there is for rabbits) and WWX is like "Oh, yeah. Nah its fine, I've been worse".

This one has trigger warnings for child abuse, negligence, and issues related to eating habits. Keep that in mind before proceeding. Nothing graphic, but I wanted to warn nonetheless.

I've merged two prompts here.

Please remember that prompts are closed. Also, remember I do not write self-deprication. All prompts that require WWX to have low self-esteem are not going to be written, apologies but the subject is very uncomfortable for me and I don't believe it is canon accurate anyways.

On to the prompt fill.

"That Wei child is entirely too careless."

Lan Qiren closes his eyes and prays for patience. That boy has been a menace ever since he stepped into Cloud Recesses. Brilliant but wily and mischievous with absolutely no regard for rules.

"What has he done?" He asks gruffly, reading over the reports from the kitchen staff. Cloud Recesses always monitors the food intake of their guests to make sure everyone is well-fed and no one is consuming more than their due. It wouldn't do for young cultivators to fall ill in their care, after all.

The primary healer, a matron of some age, had brought the reports instead of the kitchen manager, which was quite unusual, "He forgets meals. Goes without food for days. Survives on small bits of fruit."

Xichen, who has been working on his own reports, raises his head and looks concerned.

Lan Qiren crosses his arms, feeling a growing sense of ire, "He dislikes our meals." He's not the first one to skip meals because he considers them 'bland' and 'boring'. It's likely the child has been sneaking down to Caiyi town to have more extravagant meals.

"I checked with our ward team. When he goes days without eating, he doesn't make any trips to Caiyi town either."

Lan Qiren pauses and studies her. Lan Mingyun nods curtly, "When I first noticed this behavior, I immediately put him on my list." Her list of children with food-related issues, he assumes, "His eating habits are very erratic, erratic enough that I wish to assign one of our senior disciples to keep an eye on him."

"You're that worried?" Lan Xichen asks in surprise while Lan Qiren frowns. It isn't unusual to do so but he wonders if it is really necessary.

"As far as I know, the child lived on the streets for quite a few years," She says and Lan Qiren narrows his eyes, inwardly reprimanding himself. He had forgotten about that aspect of Wei Wuxian's history, "The link between early childhood trauma and behavioural problems are well known to us."

Lan Xichen frowns, "I'll ask Wangji to keep an eye on him."

He glances at his nephew sharply, "Why Wangji?" He demands because surely someone else would be better.

"From what I understand, Wei-gongzi will not welcome an assigned senior. He seems to be someone who brushes injuries or illnesses off. He likes Wangji and will be more willing to accept his company."

While the argument is reasonable, Lan Qiren is loath to involve his precious nephew in this. He's already so bothered by the boy.

But.

He thinks of Wei Wuxian with his sharp eyes and lingering smile and nods.

---

Wangji listens to Xichen patiently even as his fingers curl into fists under his sleeves.

He doesn't like Wei Wuxian. The boy is too disruptive, too bold, too distracting-

Too beautiful.

He doesn't like him, but that doesn't mean he's content to ignore his well-being. When Xichen asks him to keep an eye on Wei Ying's eating habits and general behavior, Wangji agrees.

It will be taxing for him, but he agrees.

What he doesn't anticipate is… everything that follows. When he starts consciously looking for them, the signs are alarming. Wei Ying doesn't just skip meals whenever he gets too distracted, he picks at the food even when he is eating. While Wangji is comforted to know the boy frequently seeks something richly flavored at Caiyi Town, he doesn't do it often enough to compensate.

There are also some concerning behaviors in the Jiang contingent. Upon closer inspection, it is clear that while Wei Ying does break the rules, the other Jiang Sect disciples are often complicit. Including Jiang Wanyin.

They not only let their da-shixiong take the blame for all of their actions, but also encourage it. Wei Ying seems disconcertingly accustomed to it. He makes a scene while being punished but seems alright within an hour.

Jiang Wanyin encourages mischief and reprimands him in turns.

Wangji doesn't understand this.

"Xiongzhang, I am concerned," Xichen looks up from his tea, his attention immediately on Wangji, unwavering and comforting, "Wei Ying," He takes a moment to form his thoughts, "I am uncertain. I believe he is in an unsafe environment."

Xichen sets his tea aside, "How so?"

"I happened upon a conversation," He grimaces because it is eavesdropping even if his intentions are noble, "Jiang Wanyin and Nie Huaisang requested and encouraged him to get alcohol into Cloud Recesses. When he complained about the punishment, Jiang Wanyin said 'at least, it wasn't Zidian'."

His brother sucks in a sharp breath, "Zidian? Madam Yu? Spiritual weapon? A high-grade weapon typically used against enemies?"

Wangji dips his head.

"I'll ask uncle to stop assigning corporal punishments." Lan Xichen says, "They won't have the desired effect in any case and we don't want to damage him permanently. Tomorrow, ask him to practice Cultivation in the Cold Pond as punishment."

Wangji nods, "I'll assign Jiang Wanyin and Nie Huaisang proper punishment as well."

"Wait until we have a better grasp on the situation." Xichen says solemnly, "If we act too quickly, things will escalate and may cause more harm to Wei-gongzi."

Wangji is reluctant because his sense of justice is not satisfied. He remembers how the Jiang disciples encouraged Wei Ying to accept punishment on their behalf. And then to know Jiang Wanyin was also complicit…

"We must approach this cautiously, Wangji."

He nods.

---

Red, irritated, scarred.

Wangji swallows as he sees the state of Wei Ying's back as the Jiang disciple steps into the Cold Pond. There are so many whip scars on his back, so many that have barely begun to heal, that he feels nauseous.

"Wei Ying," He struggles to keep his tone neutral, "Your back." He cannot imagine the agony that Wei Ying would've suffered when he took more punishment on it the other day.

Wei Ying glances at him and grins, "Aiya, Lan Zhan, is that concern I see on your pretty face?" He asks, spinning around eagerly, "Concern for little old me?"

His back is out of sight and the way Wei Wuxian is leaning towards him is meant to distract and fluster.

Wangji… suddenly understands. Wei Ying is naturally playful and mischievous, but he uses his personality for disguise and manipulation as well. Not maliciously, but in a way that harms him.

"Wei Ying," Wangji refuses to be moved. There is a significant shift in his mind. He no longer feels annoyed by the person before him. If anything, he feels furious.

He feels protective.

"Wei Ying, your back."

The Jiang disciple shrugs, "Punishment, you know how it is."

"For what?" He demands, catching Wei Ying's elbow and turning him around. The willingness to touch him stuns Wei Ying momentarily, enough for Wangji to get a good look at the brutal devastation written on Wei Ying's back.

Wei Ying clears his throat and shrugs, "It's more of a preemptive punishment? Madam Yu knew I would cause trouble here, of course." He chuckles.

"Preemptive punishment?" He asks softly, the very notion troubling him.

Wei Ying shrugs again but doesn't attempt to explain when it is clear Wangji isn't willing to indulge him.

"Wei Ying,"

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying starts to move towards the shore, "Don't worry about things that don't concern you. Your head will forever be burdened if you do."

Wangji feels something in him recoil at such a blunt dismissal.

"Doesn't concern me? How can it not concern me?" He wants to ask but is unable to.

Wei Ying has made him very uncomfortable with his forward personality and near constant teasing, but Wangji has seen the genuine offer of friendship underneath it all.

He has always spurned it.

As Wei Ying climbs onto the shore, his wounds red against his naturally pale skin, Wangji makes a decision, "Would you not feel concerned if it were me?" He asks but he already knows the answer.

He already knows this man enough.

"Of course," Wei Ying says and shrugs on his robes, hiding a wince but unable to help his body's reaction to pain, "But you and I are different." He glances over his shoulder at Wangji, "I consider you my friend," He says, "But you don't consider me yours."

His breath stills at the acceptance in Wei Ying's tone.

"And that's alright." The Jiang disciple waves and walks away, "Don't worry too much, Lan Zhan. This one isn't weak. The wounds will heal within a few days."

---

"The facts are these - Wei-gongzi is punished preemptively with Zidian, often enough that there are deep scars on his back," Lan Xichen explains, "I assume it is his Golden Core keeping him from sustaining permanent damage."

Lan Qiren is still bristling at the very thought of preemptive punishment. What a ridiculous notion! Of course, the child doesn't care about rules and upsetting people! He has already been punished enough to excuse everything but outright treason.

How is such a method effective? How does it correct a child's misbehavior?

"The Jiang Sect disciples are accustomed to their da-shixiong being punished in their stead. They actively encourage it. Jiang Wanyin has asked Wei-gongzi to sneak in alcohol. And he refused to come forward when Wei-gongzi was punished." Xichen takes a deep breath, "I believe any lingering issues he may have because of his early days as a street orphan-"

"Are ignored," Lan Qiren concludes grimly, "It is no wonder the child has such strong cultivation. He is facing strife constantly."

"Is there a way to rescue him?" Wangji asks after being grimly silent for the entire meeting, "Get him away from the Jiang Sect?"

Lan Qiren eyes him, "Wangji, the situation is complicated. He's still the Jiang Head Disciple and sects don't just part with their high ranking disciples."

Xichen smiles sympathetically, "We'll find a way to pressure Jiang-zongzhu into taking action. He'll lose face if the other Sects know how his lady is treating their Head Disciple." He shakes his head at Wangji's expression, "Let us think about it. Meanwhile, you just need to be there for your friend, Wangji."

Lan Qiren arches a brow, "Friend? Wangji, I thought you disliked the boy."

Wangji purses his lips, a stubborn light entering his eyes, "Wei Ying is my friend." He insists, resolve lining his every word.

He looks at Xichen, who just looked amused, "According to Wei-gongzi, he considers Wangji a friend and will be very concerned if Wangji was in a similar situation," He huffs, "But Wangji doesn't consider Wei-gongzi his friend, so there's no need for Wangji to worry."

Lan Qiren closes his eyes and rubs his forehead in an uncharacteristic display of frustration, "That boy is a singular menace."

---

Wangji pursues friendship with all the dedication in his being. He learns to cook savory dishes and gives them to Wei Ying every day. Wei Ying, unable and utterly unwilling to deny, eats it all.

He glares the Jiang disciples into submission whenever they attempt to draw Wei Ying into mischief. The Jiang Head Disciple is fully exempt from corporal punishment. Instead, he spends hours in the library either copying rules, rewriting classics, or transcribing Buddhist texts.

All of these activities prove to be much more effective punishments.

Meanwhile, Lan Qiren attends a Discussion Conference and has word with Jiang Fengmian.

The response is a gentle order from the Jiang-zongzhu for Wei Ying. He asks his disciple to remain in Cloud Recesses for Musical Cultivation training. He also mentions it is time for Jiang Wanyin to take up Head Disciple responsibilities and learn true leadership.

Wei Ying eyes the smiling Lan Xichen and impassive Lan Qiren sharply but doesn't say anything.

In two years time, the distance between Wei Ying and the Jiang Sect grows. The distance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan ceases to exist.

Just like that, Wei Wuxian's destiny changes.

#short prompts #wei wuxian #lan wangji #anti jiang sect #anti madam yu #anti jiang wanyin

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