#1. don't fast longer than 24 hours

[sports-on-sundays]

boulevard of broken dreams / LN4 / Part 1

Summary: Lando x female!reader - Not many people know how true loneliness feels. Not many people know how true love feels.

Warnings: lots of description, angst, mention of self-harm, loneliness, pain, mention of death of a family member, dreams ruined, emotional pain, getting drunk to ease pain, change from 2nd person to 3rd when it felt right, panicking, jumping to worst case scenario, nausea, screaming, confusion, questioning will to live, blood, kind of violent dramatic descriptions. PLEASE do not read if you seriously struggle with some things like this! I would hate to cause anyone to feel more pain!!

Requested?: Mate nah.

Author's Note: I just wanted to write a thing. Listened to sad piano music and Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day writing it. I hope you enjoy. Personally, I'm really proud of this one. Let's hope I got all the warnings in hah! Link to part 2

Sunshine, moonlight, daylight, night light, night life. On, off, under, over, around, on, and off again.

In the middle of your heart, if someone could dig deep down and pick through you, examine you, dissect you, they would find the softest little bleeding bit. But they would only find that after knocking down wall after all of slimy, tough, terribly dark black walls. No one would be able to find the strength to knock all those walls down. And even if they could, you'd never let them.

One can only be vulnerable if there is someone there to have their back.

All the vulnerability is pushed to that one little section of your heart; the most delicate place on earth.

All the pain.

It's impossible.

This road.

This road is made of brick and it's slippery. It's constantly raining. And you're constantly shivering. No one gave you an umbrella, because there's no one on this road to do so. Night after night, this rain beats on you. Your skin degrades away as if you were dead. For daytime does not exist on this road. You forget how sunlight looks. You constantly walk. Never wanting to sleep because the only place is the road. And you hate this road.

Yet it is your home, and any different would terrify you.

The friends on this road are the shadows. Shadows in the night caress your arms and kiss your cheeks, whispering of false realities, forgotten memories, and broken dreams.

On this boulevard of broken dreams.

There's no conscience of the pain any longer. You're so used to it, you're numb. And that's the way it should be. All you need is to survive.

You always ask yourself why. But if you're asking the question, why would you also know the answer?

There is no one on this road who knows the answer, and there never will be. If anyone knew the answer, then they wouldn't be on this road.

Stairways to heaven and highways to hell.

You're on the fast track to absolutely no where.

No one knows this road exists. You're one of the unseen. Most people live on the other side. They don't know this exists. Many of them are good people. They would help. If they could possibly stand it.

If they only knew. There's no way for you to call for help. All you hear is your voice echoing back at you as the dark starless sky closes in on you.

Like a snow globe. Never get in or out. Constant precipitation.

You're always shivering but you never get sick. At least not anymore.

Immunity.

Yes, and no one should be this immune.

No one should be this immune to this road.

Yet here you are.

On the boulevard of broken dreams.

9-5. 5-9. 24 hours non-stop.

Sunday is no different than Monday or Friday or Saturday or any other day of the week.

Money, money, money. Lots of people love it. Lots of people hate it.

Work, work, work. Get in the money to survive another day. Can't feel a thing because otherwise- how do you get through?

You get up, get dressed, get out the door, go to work, come home, get drunk, go to bed, and repeat it all over again.

Forever.

It's amazing how fast hope can be shattered with the cruel bitterness of this unfair world.

"Mama! I'm going to be a superhero!"

"Mama, I'm gonna be a football player."

"Mama! Mama! I've got it! I'm going to be a race car driver!"

And that time, you meant it.

Well, maybe you didn't, because it never came to pass. And your parents knew it. There was no way. Your family couldn't survive without government money.

But how can you explain that to a little kid? A little kid who had been told all her life that if you follow your dreams, they'll come true?

When you hold on to those dreams so hard, it's even more difficult to let them go. When you realized reality, you were ruined.

You were resigned to the fact that because of your position in society, broken heart, especially after your father passed away at a young age, and no chance to do what you dreamed of forever, that 9-5 in pain for the rest of your life was the path you were on.

The fast track to no where.

There's a girl in the corner, in the shadow, that no one would ever notice. High life superstars, and she's missing her heroes. Drunk, drunk, drunk.

She's missing them.

But one of them doesn't miss her.

Despite the crowd, despite the fun, the throng, the laughter, the music, the everything perfect after a good race, Lando sees.

He sees the girl in the corner that no one else ever notices.

"Do you need help?" in the gentlest of tones. He bends down, looking the broken, shell of a person, right through everything and into her eyes. Like he doesn't see the eye bags, the messed up hair, the cuts on her arms, the vacancy. Like he sees beyond the walls. Like he just wants to see the true person who has to be in there. Somewhere.

"Yeah," she murmurs. Her words slur, making it terribly difficult for the buzzed Formula One driver to understand her words. "Can you... get me another drink?"

You wake up the next morning, and as soon as you realize you don't remember what happened last night and you're in an unfamiliar bed and room, you feel your stomach drop. Your head feels like it's about to explode with the extreme ache in it. Nausea wells up and you swallow, filling yourself overflow with utter panic. The rate of your breath picks up, and as your chest rises and falls quicker and quicker, even if you wanted to call for some sort of help (if anyone would even come), you can't. You can hardly breathe, your vision becoming swirling and confusing as you gasp, feeling as if you're going to suffocate. You heartbeat pounds in your head faster and faster, and you realize that if anything happened right now, you'd have no way to save yourself. This sinks more extreme anxiety, and even more when you think of what could have already happened when you were drunk last night. What if you're stuck here, confused and panicking, with some creep who did unspeakable things to you last night-

The door to the room slowly swings open, and you cover your face in your heads, unable to set your eyes on whoever is there, just trying to breathe- stay alive- yet you're not even sure you want to keep living at this point.

"Hey, hey, hey," a soft speaking male voice says. You feel him come closer, and slip on the bed next to you. "Hey, I'm not here to hurt you," he practically whispers. "I brought you to my home, but only because... you were a wreck last night. Listen to me..." He speaks soothingly, but you still don't look up. "Listen. I think you might be having a panic attack, or something adjacent. And I'm here to help you, not hurt you. Okay?"

You nod, staring down. Just one hot tear slowly rolls down your cheek.

"Can I take your hand?"

You hesitate, before nodding. You feel the thin, strong, smooth hand slip into yours. "Breathe with me, okay?" he says softly, then starts taking in slow, deep breaths. With every inhale, he gently squeezes your hand, and with every exhale, gently releases it.

You go on like this, and once you've sighed, confident enough of your safety, you let go of the man's hand and look up at him.

For a second, you stare.

And then it clicks.

And your jaw drops.

"Are you... you..." you stutter in disbelief.

"Yeah, I'm Lando," he smiles.

You stare in shock at the man. "As in, like, the McLaren..."

"Yeah," he grins softly. "And I'll be right back, okay?"

"Lando-!" you squeal with a terrible, exhausted voice crack. Your emotions are so messed up right now.

He comes back and gives you a plate of food, sitting down next to you. You ignore the food for a moment and fix your eyes on him.

"Why am I here?" you ask softly.

"You needed help and I decided to give it."

Your heart pounds in your chest. You exhale slowly. "O- Okay.." These words from him are so strange to you. So unfamiliar. "I..." Suddenly, expected emotions well up within you. Uncommonly. You throw your arms around him and murmur, "Thank you... you're the... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me in years... And it's you. I must be in a dream... You're one of the reasons I'm still here... I love Formula One... I love... I love you..."

He hugs you back, before gently prodding, "Why don't you try to eat a bit."

You nod and turn to the little breakfast he's made. It's a bit bland, but you're glad for that. You're not feeling nearly at your best.

But at the same time, you're sitting next to Lando Norris.

Bittersweet and confusing.

"Thank you..." you murmur again.

"Of course you can say no," Lando starts. "But can I know your name? What's your story?"

You sigh. What hurt can it do to tell him? "Y/n. And I don't have much of a story."

"Really? Seems to me you'd have a pretty interesting one."

You shrug. "Just another broken life. There are plenty of those out there, Lando Norris."

"Clearly every broken life is important. Consider yourself."

You sigh. "Your story is the opposite of mine. Grew up rich, followed your dreams, perfect life."

There's a certain softness in his eyes. "What were your dreams?"

"Same as yours..." you murmur, your voice cracking. You hesitate, before finishing, "All I wanted was to be a race car driver. Nothing else more than that. And I would've done anything for it. If I could have."

Lando stares. You eat. There's a strange silence, before he says, "Did you kart?"

"For some years. It lasted about one and a half. Then my father passed away, and everything changed. Even more."

He stares down. "I'm sorry..." But then he looks up, his intense eyes meeting yours. He looks even better in real life. "Y/n, your story makes me so sad. I'm so sorry... I... I'd do anything I could to help you fulfill your dream, at least somewhat."

You look surprised. "Why? You have the perfect life. Why do you care? Besides, we both know full well it's too late for me."

He blinks and seems to ignore your last comment, likely because it's true and he doesn't want to admit it. "Because I have the perfect life. You deserve to be in Formula One just as much as me. Yet, we're... Well, in opposite places."

"Right..." You can hardly believe these words.

"You seem like such a... Well, something stole your innocence too soon. There's so much longing and brokenness and love in your eyes but you're just... A shell of the beautiful woman that's inside of you."

You blink. "Why do you say that?"

He murmurs after more hesitation, "Last night when you were drunk, you know what you did? Well you cried and you told me your struggles, yes. But before I was about to leave the room and let you sleep, you looked at right me and you said something like, 'I'm so lonely. Where did my life go? I can't stand this much longer. Sometimes I wish I just had someone- a friend, a neighbor, a boyfriend, a sibling- sometimes I wish I just had someone there for me.'"

You stare, now unblinking, unsure what to feel. It is true, isn't it?

Lando looks you straight in the eyes. Past everything. Into your most delicate, secret spot.

You fight back from letting yourself choke up.

"Y/n, if no one else will do it, I'd ought to be that person there for you. And I'd love to."

Moist and foggy, so nothing is visible. There are echoes of life in the outside world, but not on this road.

For the first time in years, your tired feet have stopped. Perhaps done. Had it with this. They're bloody and twisted from the years of this pain.

Where has the numbness gone?

The rain pours down

on this road

and you can't tell

if those are teardrops

or raindrops

streaming down your cheeks.

Suddenly, you see a light. A light that has found the end of the road that you've been searching for for years.

Don't lose it. Don't lose it.

You could use some company.

As the light nears, it hurts. You double over and fall down in the puddles of the road, screaming in pain. You're so used to the darkness. For years it's all you've known. The light hurts. It's terrifying.

The light comes closer and closer, faster and faster, and panic fills you, realizing there's no escape. Your eyes burn and you sob for it to let you go.

You hate this road. So why do you cry, begging to stay?

You tremble as the light approaches, covering your skin.

But when it reaches you, the expected terror is not what you experience. Instead, it's a feeling unfamiliar to you. Something that only the shadows would taunt you with. But this is it. The real one.

Tranquility.

Suddenly the beating of the rain stops.

You look up.

An umbrella.

And shining eyes.

You heart breaks once again, but this time you mind a bit less.

It's scary, but just what you wanted.

This light, this man, this sunshine.

This sunshine takes your hand and pulls you up. This sunshine leads you off this road. This boulevard of broken dreams.

This sunshine has come in and knocked down the walls.

Seen what's hidden. Stepped away and stepped into your misery. To help you.

A smile so bright.

And for the first time in forever.

You step off this road and you see the stars.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagines #f1 one shot #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #formula1 #f1 x reader #lando #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando imagines #lando imagine #lando fanfic #lando fluff #mclaren #lando norris fanfic #mclaren formula 1 #mclaren racing #ln4 #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader #ln4 fic #f1 angst #lando angst #lando norris angst

[pro-mammonologist]

I've got some headcanons!

Even though Mammon's far from a virgin by the time he and MC get together, he doesn't last very long the first few times they have sex because he's so excited to be with them.

As a dom, I think Mammon would lean more towards being fun and caring than a Hard Strict Daddy Dom™️. He can be firm, but he doesn't want to come across as harsh, and the idea of giving them an Actual Punishment leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He's got a long history of being punished. He also won't be very comfortable with degrading MC. He'll call them stuff like "my slut," but anything relating to their worth or intelligence is a hard limit for him.

Degradation is a hard limit for him as a sub, too. He'll let MC tie him up if they want, under the condition that they don't leave the room until after he's been untied. He's into impact play (specifically caning), electrostimulation, and wax/temperature play. Probably (definitely) more but that's what my mind is fixated on rn lol

He's 100000% got a praise kink (big shocker, I know). If he's subbing, he needs plenty of praise throughout aftercare. If he's domming, he still needs some praise - but that's got more to do with reassuring him that he did well and didn't hurt them, and can wait until the post-scene discussion

He loves giving and receiving overstimulation. He's greedy for his own pleasure as well as MC's. He likes to be edged - well, he likes the payoff - and could be talked into short-term chastity, but I couldn't see him being alright with anything longer than 24 hours (especially if there's a chastity device involved).

He *could*, in theory, edge MC. But he caves almost as soon as they start begging.

I have sooooo many more headcanons about Mammon as both a dom and a sub (and I'm more than happy to share) but I need to go to bed lol

Also, I love your blog! I'm so glad there's someone else who loves Mammon so much!

-- 🐦‍⬛ anon [this is my first time submitting an ask - is this nickname taken?]

I am going to address all of these individually.

1. Yes. Accurate. And I feel like the demons have low expectations for humans sexual prowess since humans have a lower tolerance for everything and also the fact that since they are western demons, they likely have interacted with the western hemisphere the most and anyone who has take a history class can tell you it’s been puritan af up until the 60s.

Also to add on to that. He’s not as embarrassed by the fact that he’s cumming fast but due to the fact he’s cumming insanely fucking hard to the point he can’t do as many rounds.

2. He’s a cocky ass bastard when he doms. He can try to be hard but he’s the kind to immediately melt after Mc does something too cute. He’s mostly cocky and teasy and praisey. And also he’s nervous about degradation too. The only way he’d do it is if you gave him very detailed and precise instructions or if he was like in a random context “damn you’re a real slut for some bacon” and then he gets scared that he offended you but you’re like “I’m a slut for you mammon.” And then he’s just shook to his core.

3. Yeah for real, he’ll be your slut and that’s about it. Mammon won’t do anything to Mc he wouldn’t want done to him. Bondage kinda pisses him off in my opinion like— he’d be for it but then he’d be like 😡😡😡 “let me out I’m losing it” and not in a cute pathetic way but in a damn whys he look so pissed?

Electro. Yes. Wax. Yes. Temperature. Yes. But I gotta know why you think he likes caning I cannot see him liking pain toys that much. I can see the sensational side of his masochism but like something real hard??? Nah he’s a baby. I just can’t see it.

4. Yeah there’s no discussion there. I think people are weird if they don’t have a praise kink. For mammon he goes nuts for it tho.

5. Yes, he’s the greediest most eager bastard out there and I can see him always down for it too. If he’s not down for it, then he really really really needs to rest or relax and maybe sex shouldn’t have been on the table period. Mammon wouldn’t edge for long, he likes the idea, but the actual wait kills him. And yea, chastity might kill him too and he’d have some hard ass limits. I feel like he wouldn’t like a device at all. Shit I can’t even see him going past 24 minutes, let alone a whole day with a device. He likes pressure and pain but he doesn’t like having his greed suppressed that badly. Of course, who knows, if Mc begs he’d do anything.

6. Yeah…. He’d cave so hard. He’d push and push and push himself to edge Mc but fail after making them hold back 2 times.

Mammon also is (in my mind) the most shy about his kinks because he’d face bullying whether he’d dom or sub sooo. Him getting to admit everything would be so hard.

Also no, it’s not taken.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #mammon x mc #mammon #currently under mammons bed #mammon smut #obey me mammon x reader #obey me nightbringer #obey me headcanons

[bigwishes]

Hey I am in dire need for some help!

I'm a 6'4 handsome jock, big beefy muscles, a deep baritone voice and got every guy on the team begging to suck my 8.5-incher.

I know this al sounds amazing and fuck yeah it is.. but the last few days I felt weak, not like I was sick or anything, but like my strength started leaving me. I heard a lot about your wishes where people drain their bullies or the jocks of their school. I'm an upstanding person, I have helped go up against bullying even from my teammates, I've helped my younger brother in the gym when he didn't know what he needed to do, even coach thinks I have everything he needs to become state champion this year.

So please save me from loosing all my hard worked size, I don't even know who is doing this to me.

Oh no you're losing muscle?!?!?! well we can't have that. The truth is mate I know exactly what is going on and who is doing it to you. A new student at the college gym always wanted to work out but his parent's never let him, worried it might stunt his growth. He desperately wanted to catch up and asked if I could put everyone in the gym's gains on him for the next week. Nobody noticed but you've got a keen eye and seem to notice what's going on so I tell you what I'll stop this guys wish, tell him to wish for something new and as a reward for being so perceptive I'll make you the new focus of the wish. Get you your gains back from the past few days and give you the gains of everyone who goes to the gym for the next week.

Day 1 was dope as fuck, your muscle felt pumped again, you were no longer tired after lifting and you felt incredibly solid after a workout. You were happy to be yourself again, working towards you goals. As much as you had prided yourself on hard work and being natural you were low key excited for a little magical boost, just a couple pounds of muscle from magic surely would still make you natural, after all the gains being sent your way are still gains worked for, just not gains worked for by you.

Day 2 was even better, whole fuck you were pumped all the time, you probably didn't even need to go to the gym but you wanted to, you loved the gym and didn't want to take the week off because you were getting free gains. After all it was like working double time getting swole, you were excited for the state championships in a few months and to go home and see your brother and show off your gains. The Christmas dinner keeps running in your head of him asking you how you got massive and you just saying diet and exercise. the thought of entering a bodybuilding comp crossed your mind, you were getting huge and its not like you could test positive for roids, and you'd never be tempted by them either.

Day 3 was different, you woke up at 12:01am on the dot and felt an insane pump, it wasn't slow and every lasting like how day 2 was this was fast, like a flood of blood throughout your whole body, like you were being pumped up like a balloon,

You struggled on your bed feeling more and more mass being added to your frame. The growth finally subsided and you passed out.

You struggled driving your car to the campas gym, the seat was uncomfortable and your thighs and swollen up so big you gym shorts felt like they were cutting off the circulation to your legs, maybe you should take the rest of the week off....or maybe ask for the growth to stop now....

Day 4 was a struggle, you had another growth surge in the middle of the night and it really set in just how much mass hundreds of people using the 24 hour gym daily can make. You would be fine to be like this, it'd be awesome and absolute easy win at state championships followed by sponsorships, you could drop out and be paid by supplement companies to simply pose with their products, but you couldn't get bigger than this, anymore size and you wouldn't even be able to get in your car anymore, no, you had to text the genie and ask for it to end early.

Day 5 was hell, you had a growth spurt in the middle of the gym changing room, bringing a whole new meaning to the words "Changing Room" not a single person in there noticed, like the magic was just making everyone thing you were always this big. Your coach had commented on how genetically gifted you were, apparently you had been made to do a random roid test several times and always come back clean, something you had no memory of. Going through old social media posts you saw you were much bigger in high school then you actually were, like the past was changing to accommodate for all this new found size.

Still after today you knew you didn't want anymore, even your best friend stood next to you as your posed your hulking frame in the mirror.

"bro, there is such a thing as too large, slim down for a few months or you'll be off the team for being too slow"

He was right, the new size was impacting your ability to play, one strong and fast you were now just strong, a brick wall no one could get by sure but what was the point it you couldn't chase a guy down or move your arms properly to catch the ball.

Day 6 was spent messaging the genie all day different combinations of "I wish to be smaller" or "please stop the growth now" any phrase you could think of to try to get the genie's attention to stop the growth. What your young mind thought would be cool t first turned into your biggest nightmare, you had outgrown your car and you couldn't even sell it for a new one as last time you got out of it you completely caved in the drivers side by simply shutting the door. You spent an hour walking to the gym, the only thing to clear your mind was lifting weights. During a rest your daily does of growth kicked in, your pecs and traps were swelling so close to your neck you could barely turn your head anymore.

Day 7, the final day of growth. You had become a fucking monster. Lost your place on the team from barely being able to move. You were staving all the time and spent most of your day now shovelling food down your throat as simply waling down the dorm room stairs caused you to burn a whole day's work of calories for any normal guy. You were anxiously awaiting today's growth and spent the whole day locked in your room. Everything around you was destroyed, unable to handle all the strength you had busted most things you touched and your furniture had all collapsed. Cheap college budget furniture could barely hold your weight how you were before all this but now it was just scrap wood and metal on the floor, you couldn't even bend down to pick it up. The whole day passed you buy and you saw the time 11:30pm...any moment now your final growth would happen and then you could figure out how to reverse it, or live with it. You tried to think positively, how awesome it would be to be an absolute monster, how much action you'd get. A deluded lie you told yourself, the truth was after what you did to your care you were terrified to go on a date or out for a hook up, every time you thought about it you could only think about accidently breaking the guys spine, but you'll finally get to figure all this out in just a few minutes, after tonight no more growth, just learning to live with the size. A message appear on your phone, from the genie, maybe he had finally seen your messages, maybe he'll shrink you back to how you were a few days ago, maybe you'd get punished for turning away the gift and turned into a twink....but being a twink would be better than this.

"hey bro, hope you are enjoying all the mass from the guys in the gym, today is gonna be a bit different. I explained what was going on to the original wish maker and he felt shitty and made a new wish, he wanted the nicest guy in the gym to triple in size and well I have decided you're nicest guy! you've been great carrying your team and just being a nice guy in the gym so I dunno how big you are now mate but I hope you always dreamed to be massive. If you've gotten too big from this tell me now and Ill stop the wish but after 11:59pm thats it, it goes through and nothing I can do about it"

You laughed loudly, this was your chance, to get the body from a few days ago, be a massive goliath but not be too big. Thank god. 11:45, still heaps of time. You excitedly went to message back but your phone slipped out you massive hands. Instinctively you went to catch it before it landed on the floor *CRUNCH...you opened your hand to see bits of crushed aluminium and glass slip out your fingers and on to the floor. You stopped, in shock you simply got off your bed and walked to the bathroom mirror. No one had gotten shell shock from breaking their phone before but you just stood in your bathroom, barely big enough for you to fit in and stared at yourself in the mirror. You thought you had become a monster, no, you were a freak, a massive freak of nature but in just a few more minutes, then, then you'd truly become a monster and there was no way for you to stop it now.

---------------------------------------------

Morphs in the story done by the incredibly Max Morphs check out their blog and show them some love.

Here:https://www.tumblr.com/maxmorphs

#male transformation #muscle transformation #muscle #male tf #reality change #tf story #muscle morph

[mentallyillfromdd]

It's You And Me (We Wont Be Unhappy)

Joel has never felt worse than in that moment.

Jimmy. Stupid, stupid, Jimmy.

Joel is wide-eyed. Okay, he may be laughing. But he’s upset.

He’s laughing with Grian now. He’s clutching his stomach as it cramps with his laughter.

It doesn’t settle into Joel that Jimmy is dead until the lightning strikes the ground where Jimmy landed- burning away at his hair and clothes just a little as thunder claps along with it.

Grian’s face says it all. Their laughter dies down and Grian stares at Joel. Joel will shortly follow. They both know that.

Joel screams. He yells at the world. At Jimmy. At the fact that he was going to sacrifice himself so Jimmy wouldn’t be the first to die- but Jimmy, being Jimmy, still died anyway.

Joel is manic. He has an hour left, one of his closest friends just died, and he will follow in an hour. Joel doesn't check his clock. An hour? Two hours? It doesn’t matter to him. It never did. He was going to give his time so Jimmy would live. But Jimmy is dead.

He’s manic. His thoughts run faster than he could and he is a fast runner. 

Joel doesn’t know when he started crying, or when those cries turned into sobs he hiccuped out, or when Grian started looking at him like Joel was a shattered vase.

Joel was next.

Joel would die in three hours and 24 minutes. The seconds ticked by so fast he didn't bother counting them.

He stares off the bridge, furiously wiping his tears.

"He did it again, Joel!" Grian pulled him up as arrows shot at the two, "We gotta regroup."

"I was gonna sacrifice myself for him, Grian! I was going to sacrifice myself so he wouldn't be the first off but he's bloody gone and tripped off the stupid bridge!" Joel held onto Grian like his life depended on it.

3 hours, 23 minutes.

The funeral was- a mess. They held a funeral grave and all for Jimmy. Full of jokes and carrots and telling Jimmy how stupid he was. Honestly, it wasn't much of a funeral besides the grave in Jimmy's secret bunker.

A pile of carrots and diamonds laid on the dirt they placed under the giant headstone of different rocks they cobbled together.

"He's a bad boy in the sky now." Grian was the first to rip himself away from the grave.

"I- don't put him in the sky he'll probably fall out of it."

3 hours, 21 minutes

Joel wanted The Family dead. They tried to kill Jimmy. He wanted all three of them gone.

He got separated from his bad boy and crouched quietly on top of the (now very moldy) bread. Tango poked around him below him. He could hear the blaze quietly muttering to himself as he dug up to come face-to-face with Joel.

Tango squeaked and booked it. However, he was stuck on an island in the sky with almost no escape. If he jumped off he'd land in some water Martyn and Scott placed blue glass panes in. The water below was a death trap.

A death trap Joel fell right into. He tripped off the island while trying to attack Tango. His luck was tested as he landed on the glass and died.

2 hours, 14 minutes

Okay, he wanted the family dead, but a Three v. One chase was impossible for him to win. Scar, Cleo, and Scott all chased him across the entire stupid server. He yelled at them. This was totally unprovoked! 

Martyns surprise attack on the Coral Isles was really what did him in, he could've maybe survived a little longer if a fourth person didn't help out.

Scott's sword piercing through his abdomen stung even when he respawned.

1 hour, 30 minutes.

#fanfic #writing #trafficblr #smallishbeans #the bad boys #traffic smp #joel is a little shit i love writing him i need to write him more often #hes not that big of a shit here #or in my other fic with him but still

[guiltyidealist]

Body count.

Hidden but insidious little piece of fatphobia:

you cannot find a single fucking page on INCREASING your appetite. On coping, struggling with a LOW appetite. Having a lowered appetite. On managing your health when your appetite is low. On how to get yourself to eat and NOURISH MORE. more efficiently, more FREQUENTLY.

By which I don't mean "how to gain weight" but by which I mean how to MAINTAIN A WEIGHT that's healthy for you. or more specifically, how to nourish SUSTAINABLY. over the LONG-term. How make sure you nourish and KEEP nourishing CONSISTENTLY. How to maintain your health in spite of an appetite that is too low.

Hell. even just what it means for your appetite to be low, how to TELL if your appetite is LOWER than is HEALTHY for you. the consequences and problems people face when they have a low appetite. the RISKS and DANGERS of a low appetite.

Because every fucking search result is

how to gain weight (muscle)

how to eat more foods that don't make you gain weight (fat) as fast as other foods

Tragedy Strikes: the Misfortune of Fat & How to Protect Your Precious Soul from Falling Victim to This Cruel Fate😢

how to lose weight (fat) (new fad diet for starvation and you will have a net loss of 0 lbs or less by the time 5 years elapses)

how not to lose weight (muscle)

how to eat less how to fucking starve how to deprive yourself the little things and be miserable and fucking die

if I eat too fast I'll feel nauseous. As a result, I graze over longer stretches throughout the day (er I did, before meds changes slaughtered my appetite).

People were always fucking like "ah! I hear that's better for you anyway😊"

by which they fucking mean "To my understanding, that eating pattern facilitates weight loss a bit more than normal patterns do, therefore it is superior because weight and supremacy are inverse correlates😊"

Nowadays I don't eat that way because my appetite is really fucking low. Today I managed a bowl of oyster crackers, an applesauce, some carrots, a piece of cornbread, a few pepperonis, and a scoop of cookie bake.

Plus x2 cans of Mountain Dew (my usual daily caffeine intake is maybe 1 glass of Coke), because I have to pass this final semester at the expense of my body.

Fuck I did not even realize how jack shit I ate today until I listed that out. With that combination it's really not a wonder that my whole digestive tract has been fucked for like 3 weeks straight now. On top of that I'm not getting ample nourishment, neither in nutrient nor caloric terms.

Low appetite is a problem.

and nobody cares. Nobody cares! Nobody fucking cares. You know why? Because this problem results in weight loss. See high appetite on the other hand, that causes weight gain, so you understand all energies must be allocated toward solving that problem🙂.

Noooo low appetite is a gift! A blessing!!! A privilege!!!!! God I wish that were me!!!!!!!!

How to lower your appetite!! 3 Vitamins that will lower your appetite!! Lower your appetite with these 15 yummy recipes!

6 easy ways to shame yourself for having wants and needs! How to stave off hunger and ignore your body's signaling of needs! How to replace the sound of your body calling you to action with blaring fad diet commercials. How to convert your body's begging for its life into an incessant and intrusive need to self-sabotage instead.

How to dissociate from your body and fixate upon doing the opposite of what it needs to stay alive. How to fret over whether or not you moved enough in the last 24 hours. How to take the energy out of every day to meticulously COUNT every single piece of material you dArE put in your body. How to count your body. How to develop one or more of the MOST DEADLY mental illnesses. How to wind up having the sole variety of mental illness that fucking kills you whether you wanted to die or not

How to tally the body count

#rant #vent #sorry #the entire. everything after the '' low appetite is a fucking problem'' text is /s #disordered eating tw #ed tw #suicide tw #starvation tw #eating tw #low appetite #fatphobia #weight-shaming #diet culture #eating disorders #ocd #Adderall #adhd #fixation #obsession

[myloskelett]

Any tips for last more than 24 hour fast?

A couple things:

1) drink a shit-ton of water (at least 64 oz)

2) fasts are easier after higher calorie days

3) stay soooo busy, fill your schedule with anything you can to keep you busy

4) This depends on your own personal rules, but you can drink certain zero cal drinks (herbal tea, zero sugar vitamin water, etc)

5) I always imagine a scenario where at the end of my fast i tell someone "yeah I haven't eaten anything in two/three days" (ofc I would never actually tell anyone that)

6) VERY IMPORTANT: Start your fast earlier in the day (like 1pm is my personal favorite), it makes 24 hours seem like nothing and makes it feel like you can go longer

7) I have no advice for feeling faint because I've never passed out before or gotten dangerously close to passing out before... all I can say is don't do any high intensity workouts, instead opt for things like walking or biking:)

okay that's all I can think of, comment anything I missed or anything you do differently!

Edited: Also ofc, th!n$po can be helpful, personally it's not my most helpful tool but it works for a lot of people

#anor3c1a #ed not ed sheeran #an@rexi@ #anorexla #@n0r3xia #@nor3×14 #tw ana diary #@na tips #@na motivation #ana bllog

[nation-of-bros]

A real man must be muscular and have a full, firm belly. Nutritious and caloric foods are needed for fat, but for muscles? Is the gym or some other athletic activity preferable? I assume that you are also working on building up your muscles: what activities are you subjecting your body to to become a bear rather than a boar?

I have to admit, I'm a lazy nerd, and I have to try harder to drag myself to the local gym and integrate it better into my everyday life, at least 2 to 3 times a week for 1.5 hours each, plus the longer walk there as additional exercise. But in my opinion you shouldn't overdo it by devoting yourself solely to bodybuilding; life is more than just that. For me it's more about healthy exercise and lasting growth.

I once posted a video of a bodybuilder who didn't do anything for a few years and basically lost ALL of his muscle mass. Before that, he was in the gym practically every day. Given this, I'm wondering about the usefulness of this bodybuilding: was it really due to doing nothing, or is there other reasons; artificial, unsustainable growth, poor nutrition, wrong mindset? That's why it is more impressive when men are naturally muscular and strong without having to go to the gym for several hours almost every day. This is the ideal situation that we should strive for. So we also have to recognize the other factors that cause this.

Therefore, I pay a lot of attention to my diet. For example, I have been avoiding pork for almost 15 years because it is absolutely harmful since the body cannot recognize it as foreign and hence incorporates it 1:1 as low-quality protein/fat where it was in the pig. So you literally become a fattening pig yourself. Pork gelatin is also used in many other products (like pudding…). In short, any stuff from pigs ruins the body shape and cause health issues, especially gout but also promotes weak connective tissue (sagging skin on the face in old age) and varicose veins.

I generally only buy unprocessed stuff like potatoes, vegetables and meat that you can tell is meat. Even when I cook pasta, I add vegetables to it. On the other hand, I don't eat fast food at all (I can't remember the last time I was in McDonalds…); and when I'm in the mood for something sweet, I only eat chocolate or homemade cookies or rolls with honey from the local beekeeper, or Nutella, my only real nutritional sin, which also makes you quickly fat if you eat too much of it. :D

For 10 years I have only eaten once a day or at an interval of 8 hours (a little something in advance and then a few hours later the real main menu). I fast, so to speak, almost permanently. As a result, my body learned to utilize food better and get more out of it. That's why eating one large meal a day that fills you up for 24 hours can actually cause you to gain weight. :p

Then I recently discovered that beer contains a lot of female hormones. I've never been a regular beer drinker, but apart from a cold beer in a restaurant, I won't be consuming much of it in the future, even though I really enjoy drinking beer and love it. >_<

I also like to drink a glass of wine with a meal, or a good cognac later. But basically I avoid drinking too much alcohol so as not to get drunk because I don't like that state. And I have never smoked in my life and don't want to either.

Furthermore, I think that in addition to muscle training and nutrition, there is a third pillar, namely your mindset, which also has a direct organizing influence on the matter. That's why every day as I jerk off (and I have to cum several times), I imagine myself becoming hairier, stockier and stronger and try to let these positive feelings influence my body through my thoughts. I try to project the image in my head of myself into reality, for example my arms becoming more muscular, with the positive feelings I experience, especially confidence, certainty, and goodwill. Maybe a form of special meditation? :D

#reply #me

[chubbysissyamy]

Update on my bucket list

So far I could not do any of the things I have there. No problem so far, as it is still a long time until next year. Only one thing really bothers me: wearing female underwear at least once a week. So I think, I have to set some rules for this one:

If I don't make all in one month, I can take the lost time into the next month, but not to the one after.

To start slowly I can wear it for minimum 12 hours a day if it fits better. This rules expires on June 30th. From July on every month will add at least 2 hours. (July 14, August 16, September 18, October 20, November 22, December 24)

If I wear it longer, it only counts the minimum time. So it is 12 or 24, nothing else.

Time substracts from the current month first, then from the last one.

If there is still time left in the third month, this will happen: For every 10 hours left, I will do somesthing from my need to do list, for every 20 from the might list, for every 30 I will buy something and for every 40 hours left I will try to do something from my won't happen list. This will be chosen random and is cumulative. Also the time will put in half on July 1st.

Full hourst spent next to someone else while wearing female underwear doubles the counted time. 1 hour spend = 2 hours substracted

If it's more than 48 hours, I will not be allowed to cum for one month.

For excampe Febuary:

I did not wear any underwear at all in January. This means I add 120 hours to 96 hours in Febuary.

Now I have to wear female underwear for either 12 or 24 hours a week, where this time will first be substracted from the 96 in Febuary. The more the better.

If I wear nothing at all, the 96 hours will go to march and the 120 will be used for punishments.

If I have, for excample, 40 hours left at the end of the month, this would mean: - No cumming in March - 1 random thing from my won't happen list - 1 thing I must buy - 2 things from my might list - 4 things from my need to do list

I really hope this will push me to become a good sissy or this might get pretty worse very fast.

#chubby sissy #cross dressing #sissy crossdresser #sexy crossdressers #crossdressing

[ckmstudies]

I posted 2,518 times in 2022

That's 2,518 more posts than 2021!

127 posts created (5%)

2,391 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gushuwa

@frenchiepal

@wecandoit

@notetaeker

@a-students-lifebuoy

I tagged 2,402 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#queue up - 2,082 posts

#study - 109 posts

#mine - 107 posts

#study motivation - 106 posts

#studyblr - 106 posts

#heydilli - 106 posts

#study inspiration - 104 posts

#college - 104 posts

#studying - 100 posts

#student - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#now all i have left to do is write my psych paper and make the final presentation then film myself giving the presentation and turn it in

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

47/100

I know that if I start studying for Latin earlier in the week I would do better but we just move so fast that by the time I've learned something we've moved on. Today our quiz was on a video she emailed us on Wednesday night. I'm pretty sure I made a B but there's just no time to study for something like that that quickly.

Looking forward to the weekend but not looking forward to exams next week.

273 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#4

Day 16/100

Made it to the coffee shop! I got a cold brew and a yogurt parfait and then got in over two hours of accounting work! After the coffee shop, I went and ran errands, watched two episodes of Russian Doll and two episodes of Criminal Minds, and ended the day by going to my college's football game. Sadly we lost by three but I enjoyed watching the game and getting to hang out with my friends :)

277 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#3

24/100

I don't know if it's because I had two coffees today or if it's because I'm sick but I have been so dizzy all day. I hope I'm over this sickness soon. The good news is that my throat no longer hurts!!

Today I had social psychology and advanced accounting. In accounting I got my exam from last week back and ended up making a 102! It was the 2nd highest score in the class so I'm pretty darn happy about that. Tomorrow I have a Latin exam and so I went to a Latin study session and then obsessively wrote every possible way to write a noun or a verb over and over again for two hours in the hopes of having it memorized by tomorrow. Luckily going to the study session means I'll get five bonus points on the exam which gives me some wiggle room to make mistakes.

Here's another shot of my school's library. I love taking pictures of the library especially since my room and desk are a mess and I don't have the motivation to clean it lol. Maybe later this week I'll get it cleaned up. Hope everyone is having a good week so far!!

345 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#2

51/100

Back in the library! I could not focus or stay awake while trying to study for my developmental psych exam tomorrow. So I called it quits after about an hour and decided I’d go to bed early and wake up early tomorrow. But we’ll see if that actually happens haha.

It’s officially cold. Last week we had highs of 85°F/29°C and now it’s 33°F/0°C and that’s just too drastically different. To the library tonight I wore sweat pants over my leggings as well as a tee shirt, a sweat shirt, and a jacket. If I had a hat I’d put that on too but alas. At least I’ll get to wear a sweater tomorrow!

Good luck to everyone this upcoming week :)

551 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

08/100

Another productive day! I went to the gym this morning for a light workout, went to both my classes, studied in the campus library for almost two hours, and then went to dinner with friends. I'm currently watching an episode of "The Sandman" and then it'll be back to studying. So overall, a very pleasant day!

826 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #A very studious year lol

[lordrandreaming]

Abt my Elden Ring playthrough:

I can confidently say after 18ish hours in ER, i am level 39 and am quickly making my way around, snagging all the Sites of Grace i see. The game is a BLAST to play, its utterly refreshing!I just wish i had ps+, i don't have the money for that right now, so I'm doing the game without human help, I'm still using npc summons ofc! (Thx Roiger, you were a great distraction for Margit..)

Just like i did DS3 my first run! Barely to no human help. Sure i won't get invaded by people, or be able to invade.. But know, if i was invading, i would fucking get you. 

But im offline! And seek to stay offline. 

I really wanted Elden Ring when i learned abt Maliketh, at first i thought he was a half beastman like from Bloodborne, but i learned his was a big ole wolf, i was set.. And then i learned more about Varre, instead of thinking he was calling me bitchless, he just stated i couldn't level up basically. I want to smash both of them. And i will. 

I love fighting Artorias, so flighty isn't going to be a problem. Im honestly very excited to fight Maliketh! I plan on finishing Gurranq's quest before i fight him, so he's all there and i get a special dialogue!

I honestly really love Elden Ring, it's just so fun. It's like discovering DS3 for the first time all over again, and that... Well, that was 6 years ago. About to be 7.. It makes me nostalgic. Im level 350 and have been in NG+7 way before Ashes of Ariandel was even announced. Sure, i played through as a Sorcerer and a Miracle build, but i prefer playing with my op as shit quality build! Which, started off as a strength build.

Elden Ring reminds me of first ending up in the world of Dark Souls, it's beautiful mystery, the crippling depravity, how everyone has lost hope.. Hollows everywhere, having my shield up basically 24/7 when i first explored. I'll never forget the sense wonder and magic i felt the first time through. After DS3, no DLC yet, i moved onto Bloodborne, which is second place in my favorites of the Soulsgames, it sits with DS2. My number 1 faves though, have to be DS, DS3, and now, Elden Ring.

I LOVE Bloodborne. I platinumed it, and honestly think it's easier than Dark Souls, on account of how fast you move, the guns, and when you get hit you get the chance to recover lost health. It was a different feel, its so unique to itself! The lore is very intruiging and fucked up, like any Souls game, the character's are sparce but still around, and oh my god.. Don't get me started on the general macabre beauty of it all! I crawled all the chalice's, i got all the endings, i did it all with BB and DS3.

DS itself.. Oh my fucking god. I only have the original Prepare to Die version, as i been had it long before the remaster was announced. My save wouldn't be on there, and i already progressed *so much*.. I didn't think it worth 40$ for visual upgrades that i didn't like. Not to mention, it helped me cut off a toxic friendship, so im definantly not getting it.

Anyways, the original DS journey is such a gorgeous and tragic one, and us, the Chosen Undead go on some wackass pilgrimage all the way to Gwyn's tomb, the Kiln of the First Flame. After all I've seen, enemies I've felled, i knew the right choice would be the Dark Lord Ending. Because, linking the first flame gives us DS3. The world collapsed in on itself at the very end, the.. Kiln no longer exists. I like the ending where everything stops, but it all just starts again anyway.

Artorias was the first true Character i fell in love with. His lore makes me cry every time, he's my fucking babygirl.. I adore him so much, and the Original DS. I remember seeing it around when i was 10-11 years old. I didn't know what the fuck it was, but heard it was really hard. (At this time i rage quitted.. Alot.) So i steered clear of it, until years later and i got addicted to the series.

Dark Souls, Soulsborne in general, just mean alot to me. It helps me cope with the harshest fuckin reality. I don't care if people think im lost in my head in a non-existent fantasy land of depression, difficulty, and darkness. But.. Here's the thing. Even admist all the chaos, all the hoplessness, the hollowing, there's still this unbridled determination, that someone is coming along to fix things, or do something that no one else has done. And we, the Chosen, do just that. NPC's can't believe we are still kicking, after we die however many times yet still we make progress. We overcome the challenges no one else has been able to, and everything is new to the pain and suffering.

It's an incredible journey that im glad i was finally able to complete. The Nameless Song always makes me so nostalgic, reminding me of a time i don't have anymore, and never will have again.

DS2, on the other hand, well. I haven't completed it yet! But it's super fun. It's not a Miyazaki masterpiece, but it's still a Souls game. The sense of direction isn't very clear, so i have to look up where to go next, but regardless, im enjoying my journey through Drangleic. It's defiantly different! But it's not bad like some people want you to.

I used to hate it really, and i regret it. For it's a great game, and a good Souls game. I used to say: It's a good game, but not a good *Souls* game. But.. I see things differently now. I've grown up, and see the beauty of it's world. The diverging routes are many, and they run deep. From 16 years old, until now, i didn't appreciate the game for what it was worth. And I apologize, DS2 for treating you like trash. I see now, why people still defend it's greatness to the teeth. But it will never hold a candle to the brilliance of the original DS. 

Bloodborne, is a whole new can of fucked to open up and explore, exposing it's raw sins and secrets to our hunter. It's extremely unique, and overall very fun to play. Almost maxed out my game into NG+7, I've been at the end of my NG+6 playthrough for a very long time, because i like just. Getting to be around, DS3 let's you stay and not move on to the next NG, but.. All the other's don't let you do that. So, i go wherever i want, without anyone gatekeeping me because, well, i already murdered everyone.

When i first began BB, i didn't know what to expect. With Souls games, i pick up bits and pieces of lore, not gameplay, before i jump in. I like going in blind- with some help from the Internet if i need it. Bloodborne has a seamless path, easily leading you everywhere and nowhere at once! I highly recommend playing it. Though if you use a shield 100% of your playthrough in any DS.. Good luck buddy!

The Old Hunter's DLC is BRILLIANT. The fights (not you living failures.. Still fun though.) are incredible! Especially Lady Maria.. Catch me being Bisexual in BB. She can step on me, beat the crap out of me, and i would thank her.. I've actually streamed my NG+6 Maria fight and talked about lore! I'll link it in the comments so whoever cares can go watch me play! Maybe I'll stream Elden Ring at some point.. But anyway!

Old Hunter's is absolutely worth the money and time.

Onto DS3.. My first Souls game. I got it when it released in the US, and had NO idea what i was gettin into. And yeah, i raged at Gundyr and took a week long break before i came crawling back to not get my ass beat, but to first try Gundyr with a new character! Gilligan was his name. He still exists! But.. Not with his original save. I killed Emma and made a big regretti, so i deleted him and started over with my now 350 character, Tyberious.

Before i delve into DS3, i just want to say, all my main DS character's, and even my Bloodborne and ER character's are all the same one soul. They are all different, lead different lives, did different things, but they are all connected. Starting with Selvirous (DS), to Ivaan (DS2), to Tyberious (DS3), to Octavious Xavier Targrei (BB), and now, Daedra (ER). All the same soul, only Daedra has an inkling these past lives, dreaming and remembering fragments from each. 

So. DS3, the first taste of Souls i got. The bosses are amazing, some more or less than others. My favorite fight will always be the Abyss Watchers, and my favorite covenant will always be the Watchdogs of Farron. I have a necklace with the covenant symbol on it, and have worn it for 6 years. I have NEVER taken it off, and i never will. I will die with this necklace.

Anywho.. My DS3 journey was amazing. Visually stunning, jaw dropping experience i will never forget, and DS3 will always have a special place with my heart. It helped me cope with the lost sense i felt, and the great grieving i was in for a very long time. It's not 'Just a Game'. It's a experience that teaches you, you don't just play it, you learn from it.

I already loved Medieval media, had a collection of swords (which.. I don't have anymore. Tragic story, yada yada.) And a friend showed me the Japanese Ocerios cutscene. From then on, i wanted the game. And yeah, loaded up and got my ass kicked. I didn't understand ANYTHING. So.. A week later. I come back, with a new character.

Off i went to begin my journey, and it only took me 125 hours, at level 105-110 to beat the Soul of Cinder. I felt accomplished. I went outside on a lovely summer day, and sat. I felt accomplished.. For ten minutes. I wanted more.. So i started my NG+ playthrough, and had just as much, if not MORE fun!

Especially since i hit so hard. I did years of Co-op and invading, hosted many fight clubs and joined many more. I won't lie, i dearly miss those days. I don't have that anymore, i don't pay for Xbox Live or PS+. Im strictly offline anymore, and im saddened i don't get to see phantoms of people running around, having the risk of being invaded 30 million times, and no human co-op summons.

But.. I'll get through it. I don't need Online experience to fully enjoy the game. I just miss companionship. I'm confident in myself though, and am certain i can beat the game with NPC summons.

Back to DS3- When Ashes first came out, i finished it in the same night. Freide, a Three Phase boss was NOT expected by anyone. After downing her and Ariandel, me and my three phantoms started waving and bowing, and then the health bar came back.

It was fun! But sweetly short. 

Around the time The Ringed City came out, i.. Was just robbed. Long story short, the people i was with took in a family friend's kid, who was a known drug addict and.. Yeah. While no one was home, he just took everything I had. Specifically Mine. I was lost.. For a while. I was heartbroken, and cried alot.

But no worries! My sorrows were fixed, and i replaced some of what i lost. But.. All my old consoles and games were gone, all my progress lost. But.. At least i had DS3 again, and my save was safe. But.. I had to start Bloodborne all over again. It didn't save to the cloud, but no worries. Clearly, i made up for the lost progress. (I was at the end of the game too..)

Onto the Ringed City. What a beautiful sendoff for the Souls series specifically.. It's a brilliant end to Dark Souls, and provides many answers to our many questions. But.. We come up with our own. And gods, I can't tell you how many times i fought Midir. IN MAXED OUT NEW GAME! I had a problem. He's difficult, but I'm determined.

I remember all the times i helped my low level friend's, being 300+, it was so funny to see invaders panic at how hard i hit. I helped with all the bosses, all the time.. And i don't do it anymore. But.. I hope to one day play with my friend, who bought me Elden Ring. Until then, i sit beside him and help him out how i can.

So.. 720+ hours spent in DS3. I say that time was well spent. Hours of fun, suffering, anger, and reward. All worth it in the end.. And in the beginning of Elden Ring.

I will admit, i was screaming and yelling out of how much i loved it. It's GORGEOUS. Absolute BEAUTY. The day-night and weather cycle greatly remind me and my buddy ole pal of The Witcher 3. Which, we both think the update was unnecessary, they just wanted to upshow ER and they are already making a remaster.. Just make the fuckin remaster, and leave the original alone. It was a dumb decision.. Anyway.

Elden Ring sends me over the moon every time i play it. I can't explain in words how much i love it, the looks, the feel, the fighting, everything is just beyond amazing, and i couldn't be happier to have it. 

I can't wait to play more, progress further, and one day complete the game however long it may take me. 

Thanks for reading. Im sorry I'm not writing as much. Real life is kicking my ass, but I'm still around, massing more prompts to one day finish. I'll be posting again.. One day.

#mori speaks #dark souls🔥 #dark souls 2 #dark souls 3 #bloodborne #elden ring #god man i love these games

[wanttobepr3tty]

Saturday, 18th Feb

1. Breakfast

Skipped

2. Lunch

Banana egg pancakes, Jeera khari, Milk tea

Calories: 290 -ish

3. Dinner

Skipped

Total calories consumed: 290

Calories burnt 🔥: 150

Net calories: 140

This is what I had before starting my fast (~11 hours in as I write this). I'm kinda sad that I can't do longer than 24 hours without my mom being upset. I hate to see her upset 😭 I love her sm and don't want to see her sad... She already knows that I used to starve and she did not take it so well. So I'll stick with one meals a day, fast until the next day. I went out for a lil walk because staying at home felt suffocating and even bought some diet pepsi (couldn't find diet cola) and have been sipping it occasionally to shut my stomach up. I still prefer sparkling water over this but I feel more "satisfied" with this-

I'm too scared to weigh myself today 🥲 so uhm maybe until the end of the month

Recently a lot of people have been t- (yk) so I'm worried 😟

#Nina eats 🧋🦫 #4norex1a #anor3x14 #tw ed sheeran #th1nsp1r4t10n #ed not sheeran #anor3xic #anarexsick #ed not sheeren #ed not ed sheeran

[thebangtancloud]

🚫Requests Closed🚫

📍Requesting Guidelines📍

Hello lovely readers!

Here's an easy reader-friendly post to help you and me work together more efficiently!

1. First and foremost, I will be accepting requests only for BTS Reactions

This is just for a few months - after which you can request any kind of story that you'd like. I don't have much free time in my schedule as most of my day goes in studying. BTS reactions are relatively shorter compared to the other stories that I write, so for the next few months, I'll be working majorly on those only.

2. You can request any kind of reaction except for explicit smut.

I'm even open to writing AU's but keep in mind that they make take slightly longer to complete.

3. How you'd know I've accepted your request:

After sending in your request, I'll add it to the BTS Reactions Masterlist under the 'Requests that I'm working on' section so that you'll know that I have acknowledged your request and will begin to work on it. If you do not find your request on the masterlist 24 hours after you've sent it in, it could be possible that there was an issue and I couldn't see it at all. In such cases, feel free to send in your request again.

4. What if I don't accept your request?

If I do not feel comfortable writing about your request (in cases where smut is involved or it's about a topic I have little to no information about) I'll reply to your ask and let you know about it. If you'd like to make changes to your request or simply request something else, don't hesitate to tell me. I don't bite ;)

5. Patience is the name of the game.

Last but not the least, please be a little patient after sending in your request. I tend to take a lot of time to come up with different scenarios so that my works don't appear repetitive, and most of the time, I don't have enough time to sit and write. I'll try my best to complete your request as fast as I can, but I wouldn't want to rush through it and either spoil the quality of the work I do or simply lose interest in it. So if your request is taking longer than expected, I'd ask you to kindly bear with this stressed student who has three mountains of books at her desk lmao.

6. Getting impatient?

Want to know how far I've come with your request? Here's an emoji key that you'll find next to your request on the masterlist to help you know:

📍- Ready to Post

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It's always a pleasure writing content that my readers want to read, so keeping these points in mind, I hope you have a fantastic time on my blog!

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#the bangtan cloud

[storydlcom]

Today, Instagram is one of the most widely used social networking platforms, and the Instagram story is the best feature of most social networks, especially Instagram, which is only valid for 24 hours when we share our daily events and stories with our friends and followers. But what does it mean when one of our friends has always seen our stories and suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories? Stay with us until the end of the article to examine this issue in detail. Read more Should I View My Ex’s Instagram Story During No Contact? He suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories Trying to check why He suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories is difficult because social interactions are combined with the complexities of human relationships. Some people use stories only to share their day with their friends, and some people use stories to find out their partner's level of interest. When he suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories, it meant me. He misses me and wants to break up. Has he suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories because he is no longer interested in me, or has he made changes in his use of social networks? For example, he rarely visits his Instagram. When we understand the reason for his behavior and why He suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories, we can solve the problem much better. If the relationship is cooling, we can strengthen it before breaking up. Reasons Why He Might Stop Watching Your Stories 1. Change in Social Media Habits is a common reason someone might stop watching your Instagram stories. In today's fast-paced digital world, it's not uncommon for people to periodically reevaluate and change how they interact with social media. This change can be caused by various factors, such as a busy schedule, less desire to visit Instagram, or a change in interests. It's important to remember that such changes often have more to do with the person's relationship with social media than with you. 2. Emotional reasons and interest may be one of the reasons why he suddenly stops watching your stories. He may have seen a behavior from you or decided to distance himself from you to reduce the feeling of love and affection. But this issue is critical, and you should be careful not to jump to conclusions. Talk to him and hear his reasons before making judgments and conclusions. 3. Technical changes and Instagram algorithms may be why someone suddenly stops watching your stories. Instagram's algorithm is known for its dynamic nature, constantly evolving to show more of your favorite content. He may see his favorite content on Instagram during his online time and your stories in his story feed. They don't appear well, which leads to a decrease in visits. In addition, technical glitches can sometimes cause problems in recording or displaying stories accurately. And according to the Instagram algorithm, if he has not interacted with your stories for a while, Instagram will show him your stories with a lower priority. How to React When He Stops Watching 1. It's natural to feel confused, disappointed, or even rejected when someone doesn't watch your Instagram stories if that person is essential to you. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to process them. However, maintaining perspective is just as important. Remember that social media interactions are only one aspect of a relationship and do not always accurately reflect a person's feelings. Engaging in self-care activities, talking with friends, or diverting your focus to other interests can be effective coping strategies. 2. Deciding whether to handle this matter directly depends on your relationship with the person. If you're in a warm and open relationship, a casual, non-confrontational conversation might clarify things. However, if the relationship is more relaxed or if discussing it might lead to unnecessary tension, it's best to let it go. Ultimately, the decision should be based on your level

of friendship and the nature of your relationship, keeping in mind that social media behavior is not always a definitive indicator of someone's feelings or intentions. My Ex Watches My Instagram Stories" (What Does It Mean?) How Instagram Story Views Work Instagram Stories is a feature that allows users to see who has viewed their story. This list is more than just a count. It is often used as a measure of interest and participation. Viewers are listed in a specific order, first influenced by whoever saw the story first. Over time, Instagram's algorithm will adjust this order based on your interactions with your followers. If you interact with specific followers often, they will appear at the top of your viewership list. This feature provides insights into who actively engages with your content, making it an invaluable tool for understanding your audience. The Psychology Behind Viewing Stories The psychology behind seeing Instagram stories is rooted in human curiosity and social interaction. Watching someone's story is a way to stay connected and up-to-date on their life, especially in a world where face-to-face communication may not always be preferred. It is a form of social monitoring that provides a glimpse into a person's daily activities, interests, and emotions. Conclusion In this article, we investigated why He suddenly stopped watching my Instagram stories, which had various reasons, including technical problems, Instagram algorithms, a decrease in interest or a change in the habit of using Instagram. In addition, you were told how to react and what to do if you faced this incident. We hope this article has answered your question; if you know a reason or a solution, please share it with us in the comments. Read more: When a guy likes your Instagram story Why would a guy hide his story from me When a girl likes your Instagram story

[whimsydee]

Later (fiction) ~ 1/3

Published in EFLUvio (EFL University Newsletter), April 2017.

I have been lucky enough to have two of my pieces published in the April 2017 EFLUvio newsletter. Here is the short story, written in 2012, that finally saw the light of day!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 1

Eighteen minutes past 12. We've been stuck at the same spot, in the middle of nowhere, for ages now. The shutter on the opposite side, where a young girl sleeps with her bundle of clothes under her head, is just a few centimetres open. Apart from the sliver of moonlight that snakes in through the crack, all is dark in my compartment. This is a ladies-only bogey, and the train is less populated than usual. While I like the silence and the cleanliness in here, the still air suffocates me.

I let out a frustrated sigh and turn over to face the wall. But it's no use. I can't get comfortable tonight, not in a middle berth anyway. Middle berths aren't meant for you to get comfortable in. The person with the middle berth is the unfortunate one. If you're an Upper Berther, you have you own space, and silence, and freedom to be yourself. The Lower Berth gives you a different kind of freedom, the freedom to come and go, which is as important as the freedom to just be yourself. But I, I am a cursed Middle Berther, always bumping my head against the top berth when I sit up and always having to apologise to the person below me if I want to get down. No, I am not an unlucky person in general, but the past 24 hours have not been my best. And now it's eighteen minutes past midnight, and the train has been static for longer than I can tell, and I have no idea when we will move again.

Darkness scares some people, but it just irritates me. I like daylight, noise, sunshine, life. For as long as I can remember, I've equated daylight with life and night with endings. I'm waiting, therefore, for this train to break out of the darkness and meet the new day – at Bangalore Cantonement Station, please, not in the middle of some dark and dusty landscape en route from Mumbai. I check my watch again. 12:22, just great. I'm going to suffocate myself with the thoughts in my own brain if I don't make an effort to seek out some kind of distraction. I bump my head against the upper berth and curse loudly, but I don't care if it wakes anyone up; I just have to get down and stretch my legs. With bated breath, I climb down the ladder, sit by the young girl's feet, root around for my sneakers and stand up. The train lunges forward with a sudden groan and I lose balance and fall heavily back onto the lower berth. A sudden exclamation from the girl tells me she was shaken awake, and I berate myself silently. Before I can make any real apology, she speaks.

“You are not sleeping?”

I've been expecting this young girl, who looks no more than sixteen, to have a small feminine voice, but her voice is low, husky, filled with substance. It's the kind of voice you can expect a powerful singer to have.

“Sorry, please lie down again. I was just leaving,” I manage to mumble. She does not reply, but leans towards the shutter and closes it. The sliver of light disappears, but light from other compartments will lead the way for me. As I slide out of our compartment apologetically, she says, “Toilet?”

I stop in my tracks, feeling guilty. “No, I was just going to stand at the door for a bit.”

She looks at me curiously. I back away before she can say anything more. The train is swaying gently once again; we're moving at last, though it's slow, and I feel my way to the end of the passage. The door next to the last seat is half-open, stuck fast. I grasp at the handle gratefully, hooking my arm around the iron railing next to it to prevent myself from falling. The door smells of rusty iron and rain, but this is just what I was looking for. I let out a long breath and lean my body against the railing, looking out of the door. I can finally breathe.

From where I'm standing, I can see the moon high in the sky, right opposite me. Sometimes it disappears behind trees or clouds. I always try to guess which direction we're moving in, using the glow in the eastern sky as a reference. We are moving due south – oh, now we're turning towards the west – now back again to the south. The landscape is bare and dry, with the hard, cold shadows of the winter night etched into them. No matter; it will soon be June again, and the rains will be here. Just six months more.

Six months more and I will see you again.

Part 2 here

#published #fiction #creative writing #short story

[little-yla]

: : the right person ☆

————————————————————————

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing exc for a bit of cursing

word count: 963

a/n: my first time writing so please dont judge😭😭💔 if u liked this story, feel free to request more!! 🫂🫂 ( jeonghan is such a green flag )

this is part 1, part 2 is coming soon

You were paired up with Jeonghan for a math project, you didn't know much about him except for the fact that he was popular amongst the girls in school. He showed absolutely no interest in the girls, they thought he was into men because of that reason. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, you had no interest in him. You never saw what he had, you thought he was just a regular boy. Not until you were paired up together. That feeling ended quickly as soon as you interacted with him more. You finally understood everyone, but you had to clear your mind.

"Y/n, pair up with Jeonghan." your teacher says. You gasp as you saw your classmates glancing at you, they looked like they were about to chase you like a dog. You slowly walk to his table to have a chat about the project, being scared because of all the stares but you then get to his table. "You scared, huh?" Jeonghan asked, he could tell by your awkward face. You answered, "Well, you could say that, I guess." while giggling a little. He laughed at you, but he understood why. He gave you his number to ask for help, even for things other than the project.

You both discuss the project, and you catch yourself smiling the whole time while chatting with him. Were you developing feelings for him? But then the bell rings, it is time for you to go home. As soon as you got home, you had the urge to text him, but you noticed that he had texted you first.

jeonghan: hey, do u wanna meet up at the cafe near the town's library tmr?? so we can work and have little chats, it was fun

y/n: oh yeah suree, what time?

jeonghan: does 2pm sound good 2 u?

y/n: yep

jeonghan: alright c u tmr <33

Did he just give you a heart? Your heart was pounding so fast texting him, you figured it was because he was the first ever boy from school you texted. Well, you were wrong about that.

The next day, you woke up at 11:24 am. Your alarm was ringing so loud, but you quickly woke up as you remembered about the important meet-up. You greeted your cat, Toro, and got some milk from the fridge. You had some breakfast and took a shower, thinking about him every single second. Opening the closet was a bad choice, you did not think about what outfit you would wear, and you panicked so hard. It was 12:48 pm, you had 1 hour and 12 more minutes left, you couldn't possibly finish that fast. You chose to wear a cute dress with the cardigan your mom bought, and did your makeup a little faster than usual.

You drove to the cafe and saw him waiting for you, he waved as you saw him. "When did you arrive?" you asked, he had arrived at 1:30 pm. You apologized for being a little late. He replied, "It's fine, I wouldn't mind waiting longer for you." He surely was a sweetheart, a literal woman's dream. After discussing the project and finishing it, you guys decided to spend more time together. Were you really hanging out with the most popular boy?

You went to play games with him and found out he also played Valorant. He was happy he could find someone with the same interests as him. You found out he liked Bossa Nova and never dated once. "If you never dated anyone, then why don't you try dating someone that likes you?" you asked. He replied, "Well I'm waiting to find the right person for me, someone that likes me for me, not my looks." That got you interested in him, you wanted to find out more about him. After a long time of hanging out, you both went home.

jeonghan: heyy, i had fun w u today :)) lets hang out more

y/n: I AGREEEE, we should also vc and play valorant if u can

jeonghan: agreed, wanna hang out after school next week?

y/n: tuesday?

jeonghan: tuesday.

Wow, was he trying to test you? You had bad experiences with boys before meeting him, and you were hoping he wasn't like them. All I can say is that, I like him. You caught feelings for him, shocking. You had the urge to text him and call him. It felt too risky, you didn't want to seem obsessed. And again, he likes someone who likes him for him, not someone who craves looks.

A notification pops up, who is it from?

jeonghan: hey, wanna vc?? sorry if im asking u so late at night :(

y/n: nahh nw, lets call?

jeonghan: YAY

Your ringtone starts playing, seeing his name on the phone made your heart beat 10 times faster. Why was it easier to talk to him in real life? I can't even talk to him over the phone. You picked up the phone and heard his deep voice. "Sorry about my voice, I'm really tired right now." Jeonghan claimed. You replied, "Then why did you want to call me? You should go rest." He didn't want to rest, he wanted to call you and hear your voice.

You spent a few hours talking to eachother and playing games, hearing him curse for the first time. "Ohh, we're fucked. WAIT, I'M SORRY," Jeonghan panics, "You didn't hear that." You didn't mind, you revealed that you also cursed a lot. He was relieved, I'm guessing he has a curse buddy. Afterwards, you both decided to stop video calling and texted eachother instead.

jeonghan: thank u for today☹️☹️ i enjoyed it a lot

y/n: heyy dont worry ab it, u made today fun 😆☝

jeonghan: lets do this more, i dont need to stop my cursing for once

y/n: YKW ME TOO, everyone around me js hates the idea of cursing

jeonghan: well i get why, anyway see uuuu tmrr. sleep well and goodnight

y/n: gooodd night <33

#svt fluff #svt #jeonghan #jeonghan fluff #seventeen #yoon jeonghan #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan x you #jeonghan x you #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x y/n

[mellow-worlds]

I feel good with my ed. I don't want to kms anymore. I feel pretty good honestly. I feel alright. I think my progress with losing weight is going alright. I keep saying ed. I made a wager with myself that I can officially call myself anorexic when my lovely intermittent fasting app says I've had 80 fasts in total. My goal is to get to an underweight bmi which somehow is around 10kgs for me. I don't think I ever lost so much weight in any of my past runs. It'll be fine, though. I'm happy to try. I'll do it. 80 fasts in total should equal around three months. Time flies. So far I have around 30 fasts. Some are longer than 24 hours, so that's important to keep in mind. I'm kind of proud of myself. Kind of. I'm happy I'm below the redacted number of kgs now. I'm still so fat but I feel like it's a little more acceptable now.

I keep thinking about how lovely it'll be when my friends notice. It'll be so lovely to be underweight. It'll be so lovely to know that they're talking about my weight behind my back. It'll be so lovely to know that they'll see just how skinny I can be. Let's find out how skinny that would actually be. Can't wait. Can't wait. I'm a little hungry, but not enough to actually feel like eating. Idk. I could easily eat something and like 2 months ago I surely would've. But now? Haha, not with me. I'm a whole new person now. I have priorities now. My head hurts a little. I don't think it's because I'm not eating that much, because today I had 2 sandwiches and 1 GIANT piece of cheesecake. Kind of regret it. I should start eating healthier things. It's fine. I can do this. It's still not the calorie requirements for an adult person, right? So that means I'm fine. It shoudl mean I'm fine. I should be a little more careful though. I should buy some healthier foods tomorrow. I'll do that. Grocery shopping when ed is so exciting. I really love it. I should really find some things to eat. Here's some ideas: juice, apples, berries, yogurt, oatmeal, fruit bars, those bread things with cream cheese, tomatoes, carrots, cucumber, paprika, milk bread. I should make my own sandwiches that are healthier than the canteen ones. But I like eating at uni. Hmmm. I'll figure something out. I'll be fine. I jsut really, really like food :) eating food is nice. But disgusting, kind of. Buying food I really like is actually kind of dangerous, but I'll just be careful and mostly buy the really healthy things like carrots and apples. I can always eat as many things of that as I want to.

I'm not really happy about being below redacted kgs now, I'm more just glad. It's kind of a relief. It makes me feel optimistic about the future. And I really want to keep going. I'm just so glad. It's kind of unbelievable. I've got to say, my urge to weigh myself is super strong, but I really should wait at least a couple of days in between weigh ins because I just couldn't handle gaining weight and real progress is only noticeable after some time. I should go work out. I said I would before my shower tonight. Still have uni stuff to do but it's fine. I'll work out, shower, and go to bed. That'll be nice. I won't exercise for long and it's a little frustrating to knwo that I'll never be a true anorexic because I don't excessively exercise, which only counts if you do it for like 3 hours a day, and I ain't got the time or will to do that. I'm just happy doing my crappy home workouts. It's something. I'm happy I'm starting to get back to exercising. It'll be lovely. Well, being thin will. And I kind of like to run. And like... P.... is so fit.... and strong...... and it's so attractive and I don't want to be a shapeless lump next to him. I also really should be careful about muslce loss, not that I actrually eat that little haha, but still. Exercising is just super important to 1. build muscle and 2. burn calories. Burning calories is the best hahahahahha what are you even talking about. It feels like I'm starting to lose it again. Nah, it's fine. My ed just makes me a little happy. Not really. But at least it's something in my life. I can always rely on it. It's always there for me and always will give me something to think about. Checking my intermittent fasting app to see how long I've been not eating really makes me kinda happy. Well, not happy. But it's like :3 every time more time passed than I anticipated. And speaking of which, it's been six hours. Most people would get hangry just about now. Not me B) staying cool and hungry. But skinny. Eventually. It just means I'm doing great.