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hellojenpenworld · 1 year

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January 2023 Reading Wrap-Up (Part 1)

So.... I had a lot of reading done in January. I was on an ebook reading kick and just couldn't stop reading., so most of my reads were ebooks with a few audiobooks thrown in. It was a great feeling. It was really fantastic.

Because I read so much this last month, I'm splitting my wrap-up in 3 parts. Here is my first set of January reads. 😁

Be warned: spoilers are ahead.

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"Tempest" by Miranda Bridges and Kyra Snow, book 4 in the Elemental Mates series.

Zoey is having a bad day. Kidnapped, sold, abandoned on an unfamiliar planet, almost sacrificed and then running into a hot, grumpy alien. Kai thought he would never have a mate after his died, but here he is reacting to a human.

This was a fun and fast-paced story. I liked that Kai was fighting his feelings and doing his best to reassure Zoey that she wasn't just going to be a breeder for his people and how their relationship grew.

I do kind of wish that they hadn't found Kai's mother on the same planet that Zoey was abandoned on, but that was a minor issue overall. I loved how Zoey interacted with Kai and all the names she gave him when he refused to give her his actual name. I loved all the twists and turns the story took as well.

I can't wait for the next story as it looks like it will be a lot of fun and drama as well. I can't wait to see what will happen next.

4.5/5 stars - January 5th to January 5th

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"Zephyr" by Miranda Bridges and Kyra Snow, Book 5 of the Elemental Mates series.

This was one of my favorite of the series.

Daxis has issues with being touched or touching others, but when he accidentally comes in contact with the human, Dawn, he is horrified to find that she is his mate. Dawn is attracted to Daxis but isn't sure why he seems to hate her despite them being mates.

I just really loved this story. Daxis has a lot of baggage from his past and it affects his relationship with Dawn. Surprisingly, Dawn was much strong that I anticipated her being and she shows it a lot throughout. Her growth was well done.

I also really enjoyed seeing more of Adam, Hazel's brother from book one, and how life has changed for him.

5/5 stars - January 5th to January 6th

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"Terra" by Miranda Bridges, Book 6 of the Elemental Mates series.

This book was interesting because Ivy, the human, is unaware of the other humans already rescued and everything else that has been going on.

Ivy is found to be "defective" due to her scars and is supposed to be food for what she calls a "Fire Wolf". However, the wolf bonds with her instead. Maxim needs the wolf to help find the Master and discovers that Ivy is also his mate.

I liked this story and thought it was pretty cute overall. I liked the new characters and the mystery behind the Master. I also found the wolf to be really cool as well.

I did wish it was a bit longer to flesh out the romance a bit more, but overall was a quick and cute read.

3.5/5 stars - January 7th to January 7th

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"Amethyst" by Miranda Bridges, Book 7 in the Elemental Mates series.

I couldn't stop reading this book (unless I was forced to due to work).

We follow Ash (aka, the Master) on his quest to take down his uncle when he runs into his mate, Cora. Cora has been away from Earth for so long that she had to find a job as a stripper just to get by.

I loved this one! Ash finding Cora and their romance was so sweet. I also liked seeing all the previous characters returns and how everything came together in the end.

The romance was rushed,. but not as much as the previous book, and I loved that Cora took the lead the first time.

Overall, this was one of my favorite of the series and I would re-read this series again.

4.5/5 stars - January 7th to January 8th

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"A Walk Along the Beach" by Debbie Macomber, Book 2 in the Oceanside series.

What a read!

After loosing their mother, Willa took it upon herself to care for her younger sister, Harper, and their father while her brother, Lucas, was in the military. Three years after Harper beat cancer, Willa has her bakery and lives with Harper in a small apartment. Harper encourages Willa to start dating freelance photographer, Sean, and everything is looking good. But all is thrown into chaos when Harper's cancer returns.

For the most part, this was good. Characters were interesting and I even cried at points (had to really focus when I was driving and listening to this audiobook at the same time). A lot of things kept me guessing and didn't go as expected.

However, I did feel like Willa forgave Sean a bit too easily at the end and that she should have blown up at him more than once. I know that it is just my personal opinion, but I think it was too easy for Sean to get back into her good graces after everything.

Overall, it was a good book.

3.5/5 stars - December 30th, 2022 - January 8th

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"Artek" by Honey Phillips, Book 1 in the Seven Brides for Seven Alien Brothers series.

A very cute read.

Artek and his military brothers settled on a ranch after a senseless war in order to start a new life. Now, 2 years later, Artek is ready for companionship and has his eyes on Nelly, the shopkeeper's daughter. Nelly takes the chance on a change and marries Artek, since she has also been attracted to him for a while as well.

This wasn't the strongest story in my opinion. Artek and Nelly didn't have a ton of conflict and what they did have was resolved so quickly that it didn't do much to the overall story plot.

This felt more like a book set up to introduced all the other characters more than a book about growing a relationship between Artek and Nelly. Nelly and Artek spet very little time communicating to each other, which made it hard to accept that they fell in love. Most interactions were off-page.

Overall, it was cute story with Nelly learning about the ranch and meeting the other brothers (who are all different alien species) and everything. It did make me interested in the other brothers, which I feel was this book's ultimate goal.

3.5/5 stars - January 9th to January 10th

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"Benjar" by Honey Phillips, Book 2 in the Seven Brides for Seven Alien Brothers series.

This was, again, a cute read, but just not very strong in the story.

Benjar kidnaps Ruby to be his bride, which is not what she anticipated when dreaming of an adventure. Now they are stuck together during a snowstorm and may find exactly what they need in each other.

Overall, the story was cute. I really enjoyed as Benjar was attracted to Ruby but thought that she wasn't right for him because she didn't meet his requirements he had planned out. I also liked how they thought of their other brothers, who didn't come to kidnap girls, and kidnapped them brides also.

My problem came with the romance part. I felt like it was way too fast with no idea of how much time was passing, so it all felt like it was same day.

I did enjoy it overall, and I was still interested in continuing the series.

3.5/5 stars - January 10th to January 11th

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"Callum" by Honey Phillips, Book 3 of the Seven Brides for Seven Alien Brothers series.

This is the book where the series picked up for me.

Pearl find her sister, Ruby from book 2, kidnapped and goes after her only to be caught in an avalanche. She is rescued by Callum, one of the aliens who purchased the nearby ranch and who Pearl has been attracted to. The two are stuck together until the snowstorm lets up causing the unspoken attraction between them to come into the forefront.

I loved this! There wasn't anything between these two other than glances until they were forced to spend time together. I loved watching the relationship grown and become more.

Callum and Pearl were both hurt in the past, which they have made peace with alone, but I loved how they found additional peace with each other. We also start to get hints of things going on outside of this small community and that really interested me to know what else was going to happen.

It gave me hope that this series would just continue to improve and be really great.

5/5 stars - January 11th to January 11th

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"Drakkar" by Honey Phillips, Book 4 in the Seven Brides for Seven Alien Brothers series.

Drakkar's story was very sweet.

Drakkar knows that his kind do not mate for life. They come together briefly for procreation and then go back off on their own again. They prefer solitude. Despite this, Drakkar leaves his home planet and joins his military brethren on a new world restoring a decrepit ranch. His is surprised when a vulnerable human, Kitty, awakens his protective instincts. Kitty has made many mistakes in her life, but knows that despite how she came to be her daughter isn't one of them. When things get a bit intense with her daughter's father, Drakkar rescues them and takes them to his cave in the mountains. Kitty isn't sure she can trust him, but that doesn't stop her from falling for him.

I really enjoyed this story because Drakkar was so vulnerable with Kitty and her daughter. Their interactions were sweet.

Like that others in this series, the romance did go a bit fast, but that didn't distract me too much from the story. I really liked it.

4.5/5 stars - January 11th to January 12th

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"Endark" by Honey Phillips, Book 5 of the Seven Brides for Seven Alien Brothers series.

This was one of my favorite in the series so far!

Endark is slowly going crazy and the only thing that he can do is get a mate. A mate will calm the rage within him due to his alien nature, at least he hopes it will and he isn't too far gone. He knows that humans fear his kind so he has no choice but to kidnap his mate. Becky is doing everything she can to support herself and her younger brother. Getting kidnapped wasn't part of the plan. Now she finds herself trapped with an alien that both terrifies and excites her.

I just really loved this story.

Endark really had to work to win Becky's trust because of the mistrust humans have towards his alien race. I also liked that he respected her to wait for her despite his need to claim her as his mate to save himself.

I also liked how Becky's brother was there and was an added complication that Endark didn't expect, but accepted, and how Endark won over both of them.

Overall, I really enjoyed this one and wanted to go right into the next (which doesn't come out until later in February). Very sweet.

4/5 stars - January 12th to January 13th

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So that is part one of all the books read in January. I'll post part two soon. There will probably be 3 parts to this, but that is just how many books I read in this month.

Thanks for sticking around and Happy Reading!

#book reviews #book wrap up #january wrap up #reading thoughts

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books-are-my-life-stuff · 10 months

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Oshi no Ko is one of the two series that I regularly followed this season. A lot of my close friends love this series, praise it for how great and suspenseful it is, and it also provided great criticism of the idol and acting industry. Not the first series to do that of course, but it still did an amazing job at it according to them.

But I've decided to hold off from reading the manga and just watch the anime to see if it's interesting enough to make me pick up the manga.

(This is a review post from an anime-only watcher, please note that these thoughts are formed based on the anime only and not the manga. This is also just me articulating my thoughts about Oshi no Ko, so please take it with a grain of salt.)

If you ask what show I generally recommend between the two shows I watched this season, I would recommend Oshi no Ko first and foremost because the other series I watched was just a personal favorite of mine, not a series that's "objectively good".

So, does that mean Oshi no Ko is objectively a good series? So far, I think so. I have only watched the anime, and Season 1 of Oshi no Ko feels more like a setup season than anything, but I think it was pretty good. Be alarmed that it has a lot of sensitive topics to deal with such as teenage pregnancy, cyberbullying, suicide, and stuff like that, and I have a feeling that there will be more sensitive topics to come in the future. So, this is recommended for people who can handle such topics with a clear head.

It's worth noting that the first episode has more than an hour in length, so get comfy before start jumping in. It's also more of a setup to the plotline. I think the series succeeded in making me care for Ai in such a short amount of time. I'm a fan of how they handled the whole "character is dead but their existence is so relevant to the plot that they will still haunt the narrative long after their death" thing. The way how Ai still haunts the plot and the entire narrative even though she's no longer in the story anymore is pretty good.

Maybe because I am still kinda annoyed at how Tantei wa Mou, Shindeiru handled such a plotline (I only watched the anime), where the series just kept on lingering on flashbacks about the dead main heroine, and in the end, she ended up being brought back but in another character's body and didn't actually die. What intrigued me about watching that series in the first place was how they handled a main character who died and kept haunting the narrative, and how other characters coped with that. But yeah, Tantei was Mou Shindeiru didn't do that part very well and the main heroine who actually had died somehow is not dead, and that feels like a cop-out. Glad Oshi no Ko isn't like that and handled that aspect pretty well.

But if I have to admit something, I don't feel too invested in Oshi no Ko even after I finished watching the anime. Is it because Ai is no longer there? I'm not sure. The characters are all great but I don't have as strong feelings about them. For the record, Akane is my most favorite character (other than Ai) and I think her arc was pretty great, but after that's done she never appears again until the last episode and my strong feelings about her slowly fade away. Kana is also pretty good and while I do like her character arc, I also feel just "okay" about her. Mem-cho doesn't get to appear much as I hoped, we get to know a bit of her but then she gets sidelined. Ruby unfortunately doesn't get many moments to shine until late in the story (and even then the focus of the later half is still Kana) compared to her big brother. Aqua is a strange character, I like him but that's about it.

I'm also not too crazy about the romance subplot happening between Aqua & Kana, and Aqua & Akane. I'm rooting for Akane and all, but the romance aspects still feel kind of forced. It's my major gripe of the series so far, to be honest. I am never a fan of the love triangle/harem plot. I can excuse it if it's good/reasonable enough for me, but so far the love triangle between Aqua and Kana + Akane has been very forced. Aqua is too focused on the revenge plot to even think about such a relationship. Akane and Kana being set to perform together in one stage play (possibly alongside Aqua too) just adds fuel to the fire. I probably can overlook how forced it is if it's not one of the primary focuses of the show, but it IS, sometimes it's kind of shoved to my face, so...yeah.

I feel like I'm more into the series when it's focusing on industry criticism (the Ai arc, Kana acting arc, and the Reality Dating Show arc) than the idol arc happening near the end.

I still think the first season hasn't even covered the best parts of the series--it feels more like a setup season than anything. I heard the upcoming arc in season 2 is going to be great, so looking forward to that. All that said, the anime, unfortunately, doesn't convince me enough to pick up the source material, but some of my friends tell me to read the manga so...I guess I'll try.

So, Oshi no Ko is great. Maybe it's a show that you'll enjoy too just like most people did. I'm just not too hooked on it as much as my friends are...not yet, at least. Maybe when season 2 is released and finally adapts some great moments like how people anticipate it, that's probably when I can get excited and invested in it. I still recommend you to watch this show more than the other show that I watched this season. Just be mindful that this series will frequently handle sensitive topics, so you better approach with a clear head.

#personal #oshi no ko #just me rambling to myself #hope season 2 is gonna be great! i have high hopes for the series and I'm hoping I can get as excited as everyone else for OnK #series ramblings

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mo0124 · 1 year

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~february 2023 reading wrap-up~ hello loves!! this month i procrastinated so much on school and work, and instead i read sooo much. so here is a brief recap of what i read!

Total Books: 24 | Re-Reads: 2 | Average Rating: 4.06 ★ | Overall 2023 Reading Goal: 40/50

note: if you read further,, there will be some minor spoilers. also if you decide to pick any of them up make sure to check the trigger warnings. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#1 - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun, Vol. 2 by Aidalro Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Physical this manga series is continuing in such a fun and interesting way. there is a development in the romance and found family,, and I LOVE the found family in this series. #2 - Fade by Tanya Saracho Rating: 3★ | Format Read: E-Book this play was okay, there is some interesting commentary on the characters LatinX identities and those parts were engaging. i felt like the ending was predictable. my rating might change if i saw this staged. #3 - Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War, Vol. 3 by Aka Akasaka Rating: 4.5★ | Format Read: Physical it's been sooo long since i continued this story, and i'm so glad i picked it back-up. great deepening of romance and friendships. definitely need to continue this series.

#4 - The Tradition by Jericho Brown Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Physical this poetry collection is absolutely beautiful. and exploration of race, love, queerness, rape, and so much more. my favorite poems were: Trojan, As a Human being, and Bullet Points

#5 - Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer Rating: 4.5★ | Format Read: Physical wonderful non-fiction discussion of indigenous wisdom and scientific information. there were a few mentions of pretty traditional roles (that she believes in for herself) that i didn't love. but overall it was beautiful written and had a lot of wisdom.

#6 - Uncomfortable Conversations With A Black Man by Emmanuel Ocho Rating: 4.5★ | Format Read: Audio this is a very palatable non-fiction about racism that black people face in america. for white people who haven't done any anti-racism work, i highly recommend.

#7 - The Son Of Neptune by Rick Riordan Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Audio i love this book, i love the new camp and this trio. hazel and frank have my whole heart.

#8 - Gruesome Playground Injuries by Rajiv Joseph Rating: 1.5★ | Format Read: E-Book i did not like this play at all but i had to read it for class so i finished it. it is a glamorization of abusive relationships that are built on an idealization of self-harm. the only reason it wasn't a 1-star was because there is the use of a cool narrative tool of jumping around in time through traumatic events that connect the characters. but besides that it made me physically ill because it made me so upset.

#9 - Electric Arches by Eve L. Ewing Rating: 4★ | Format Read: Physical this is a beautiful collection of poetry, prose, and visual art that explores black womanhood. i wish it was longer. my favorite quote was: "i wanted a map not to know where things are but to know where i am." #10 - Tristan Strong Punches A Hole In The Sky by Kwame Mbalia Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Audio i have had this middle-grade on my tbr for sooo long and i kept procrastinating,, and why did i keep myself from this gem for so long?? love the characters, the world-building, and the important topics discussed.

#11 - I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Audio amazing non-fiction that focuses on the intersectionality of black womanhood. it is wonderful to hear her experiences and she needs to write more because it is so good.

#12 - Stage Management Theory As A Guide To Practice: Cultivating a Creative Approach by Lisa Porter and Narda E. Alcorn Rating: 3.5★ | Format Read: E-Book i had to read this for class, but it was interesting. full of a lot of great theory about stage management/organizing people. i wish there was more pracitcal advice.

#13 - The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna Rating: 4.5★ | Format Read: Audio this book was so wonderful. it is as if the book "Nothing To See Here" had a cozy baby. and the romance?? i was crushing on the love interest sooo much.

#14 - Tristan Strong Destroys the World by Kwame Mbalia Rating: 3.5★ | Format Read: Audio i didn't love the addition of the new technology in this book, and all the gods are the worst in this book. the antagonist in this book was cool though and the ending was interesting. opptimistic for the last book, but this was kind of a let down compared to the last one (for me).

#15 - Wash Day Dairies by Jamila Rowser Rating: 4★ | Format Read: E-Book this is such a cute graphic novel about love, friendship, family, and health.

#16 - The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan Rating: 4.5★ | Format Read: Audio re-read for me, i love this book but it is probably my least favorite in the heroes of olympus... obviously, i love *and hate* the ending, percabeth, and the group dynamics... but they use the word "schizophrenic" to describe the gods in this novel and that feels icky.

#17 - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun, Vol. 3 by Aidarlo Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Physical and the series is still good... this volume has lots of great backstory and a good cliff-hanger.

#18- Don't Cry For Me: A Novel by Daniel Black Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Audio this is a retelling of a man's life through letters to his son, an exploration of black manhood, familial trauma, homophobia, and relationships. i have to re-read it physically so i can annotate it.

#19 - How The Word Is Passed by Clint Smith Rating: 5★ | Format Read: Physical a must-read non-fiction about different locations across the united states and their history of slavery and racial segregation and how that history is hidden and changed.

#20 - Off-Headset: Essay on Stage Management Work, Life, and Career by Christopher Sadler and Rafael Jaen Rating: 3★ | Format Read: E-Book another read for class, and it was okay. since it's by a bunch of different authors the quality varies and some parts are very repetitive.

#21 - Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron Rating: 2.5★ | Format Read: Audio when i explained this plot to my roommate she said it sounded like shrek 2 fan-ficiton... anyways, even though it was published in 2020 it felt very early 2010's with the main characters "not like other girls" energy. i liked having a sapphic character, and i wanted to love her romances but it is so much of insta-love. cool villian, but the magic system is not at all what i was expecting.

#22 - What A Match by Mimi Grace Rating: 3★ | Format Read: E-Book i have the biggest crushes on characters in this book. the plot is a little all over the place, but if you just want a fun romance reed i recommend it.

#23 - Consumed: The Need For Collective Change: Colonialism, Climate Change, and Consumerism by Aja Barber Rating: 4★ | Format Read: E-Book overall lots of wonderful information about fashion consumption, it is a little disorganized but provides good intersectional discussion. i wish it would have discussed the use of prison labor and the problems with that, but that might need to be an entirely separate book.

#24 - Nick and Charlie by Alice Oseman Rating: 3★ | Format Read: E-Book sadly, this is my least favorite story in the osemanverse that I have read... nick and charlie felt extremely out of character, and i hate this miscommunication trope and that is what this is. i do still love the writing and the ending was cute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ if you read this far thank you so much <3 share what you have read recently ~mo

#2023 reading list #books #book recommendations #wrap up #heroes of olympus #nonfiction #alice oseman #toilet bound hanako kun #kaguya sama love is war #theatre #scripts #poetry #manga

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chaos-event-horizon · 1 year

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📚 ✅ for the ask game? :D

📚 What was the first fanfic you read?

Rian: Sadly, one that probably no longer exists. When I was in elementary and middle school I was BIG in the Quizilla fanfic scene. Like WAY before they began enforcing the rule about not using quiz format for fanfics. Pretty sure I actually started there instead of FFN. To my knowledge... All the fics I would have read back then are gone.

✅ What is a fanfic you’d recommend to a friend?

Rian: LMAO if they ever find me again, I might end up dead for bringing up old fanfics... But that would be the Two-Sided Heart series by one Igor Lollipop, also known as Twilight-of-the-moon. Or... Used to be, anyway. The only part of the series still live is the first story, and despite searching for them, I haven't spoken to Igor in years. It's a KH fanfic, the first one I'd ever gotten emotionally invested in, and Igor Lollipop was the first author I'd ever been brave enough to message. I loved the characterization, and the plot. I loved the way Igor pulled in little facts and things from the lesser known games. I loved the fight scenes, and the drama, and even the romance. Reading that fic honestly got my younger self through a lot of things that nearly killed me. Hell, that fic is the reason I made an FFN account, and my username, Fatal Crest, came about because my favorite keyblade had been the first thing I thought of while making it. I will always recommend that series to anyone who has half a heart to spare. And I hope I get to talk to Igor again someday and truly thank them. I was just some lonely little girl back then, but... Somehow I'm still listed under their "favorite authors" tab, after all these years. An older "kid" taking the time to talk to me and share that story meant the world to me. If you like Kingdom Hearts and feel nostalgic for the Old Ways... Give it a look.

#the internet is a graveyard full of memorial stones dedicated to both the living and the dead.

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onewomancitadel · 11 days

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I read a book series someone I admire on here was talking about because I wanted to be included and it was - shock horror gasp - YA which I was willing to have an open mind for, because I love fairies, yes it was Folk of the Air, and you have to imagine my surprise at reading a review calling it 'slow-paced'.

Forgive me for making this comparison but it was like eating fairy floss. All spun sugar, all the time, bright pink. It's breathlessly paced to the point there is no room for introspection, in typical YA fashion - all edge and no point. I was also surprised to see a review calling it unpredictable - the foreshadowing is basic and so are the political set-ups. That's not necessarily a bad thing at all, although it does feel a little bit like the author is trying Very Hard to make you understand what's going on where the protagonist can't see it, so that her flaws are more evident.

Formula is not necessarily bad. This is not the angle in which I knock YA, though formula can be taken too far (like in romance novels) - although you'd not find a more voracious reader than someone loyal to romance novels, and perhaps now YA too. It is the nature of that formula which is offputting, and you need to be able to talk about what makes that adherence to formula different from others. All narrative is repetition.

Sometimes what sticks out most prominently is a slavish dedication to formula, like a compromise on part of the author - running to get to the destination and then when you're there all the tension is sapped out to get to the next point. I am not exactly sure why I am here, except that I am being led there.

But most interesting to me is that I think this might speak to adherents to the YA genre vs. those like me who are not voracious readers of the YA genre. There are times where you might call it slow-paced because it ruminates a little longer on faerie lore than another book series may do so. The political intrigue is aspirational, trying to marry faerie chaos with structural order. It's very evident that Folk of the Air is trying hard, and I wouldn't denigrate it for such aspirations. Yet it seems like my point still stands: you are working against the genre when you are trying to do this. It must compromise itself for simplistic YA ends. It just has to. That's the nature of it. It doesn't elevate the genre; it highlights its inherent contradictions.

This is nothing to say of the cast or the overall plot. I didn't enjoy Jude, not even a little bit, and I could feel the clear influence of the the acceptable YA archetype - cutthroat, deadly girl who can still be feminine with a knife to your throat - and Cardan had that clear glimmer of getting absolution because he is the Love Interest, not because he is a redeemed naughty baddie. I'm always fascinated with the idea that it's bad when we empathise with baddies but it's totally okay when the designated Love Interest gets off scot-free in these stories. I am actually pretty disappointed that Cardan is cruel, but never is he truly villainous; all sins forgiven as a consequence.

I got the sense with Jude that the author was simply trying too hard to write somebody aspirational with a few designated Flaws, and never wanted to write somebody humanistic. Perhaps that's why I ended up liking her sister - whom I found out the fandom hates, LOL! - and thought the teased romance with the Ghost was the most interesting thing she did outside the murderfather Madoc.

But this is also what I mean about lack of pedagogy in YA - what does it mean to write fiction specifically aimed at twelve year old, thirteen year old girls? Is it supposed to be didactic? Is it pure fantasy? Should Jude be someone these girls can see themselves in, or is Jude something else? It is condescending to me to presuppose that twelve year old girls cannot see themselves in all storytelling, that there is some particular affliction of young girls which requires patronising storytelling. This is not the same as representation - I am talking about psychological reflection and moral learning in storytelling, and a seventeen year old girl, after all, does not represent a twelve, thirteen year old girl. But then you simply have to accept it seems like a lot of grown women read YA, and the question is why. I'm not about to call them immature - but there is some sort of reliable simplicity they seek. (But I also think YA is a common genre which marries plot-level stakes with romance, when the romance genre as we know it is almost always only concerned with the romance).

But then you might be inclined to call them immature if you have ever been condescended to as to be told that all storytelling abnegates hopeful resolution, and as such YA is the last resort for warm humanity. How dire! I have never felt so cold as reading YA.

I did enjoy some of the faerie escapism, I enjoyed the glimmers of interesting ideas which don't fit into the traditional paradigm, I enjoyed when the faerie stuff got to be silly before it had to be YA structured. It is not without some redeeming qualities.

But like eating a packet of fairy floss, I am left with a dry mouth, sticky fingers, and an empty stomach.

#stirring the pot

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hellcatinnc · 27 days

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The Demon Prince of Momochi House Anime Review

Includes Spoilers

So this is a show that I really wasn't sure if I would like but a friend of mind told me about it so I jumped right into the season. Before long it was one I look forward to every week and couldn't get enough of it. I loved so man characters in the show and damn was this a anime full of hot guys. Anyways that being said I wanted to break down parts I love about this show or I should say the people that make it what I love.

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Aoi & Himari this couple I wasn't sure about when it first started because Aoi would turn into the Nue which would probably be the coolest thing about him if it wasn't for he seemed sweeter as Aoi.

That being said the more I saw Aoi and how he was with Himari it wasn't hard to really love him. They also seemed to feed off each other when she needed spirit or feel needed he was there and when he struggled with his own powers she was there to hold his hand. After awhile you really get to see these two were made for each other however it took awhile to get there. I mean don't get me wrong she was in love with him way before he knew his own feelings.

The iconic kisses between them were pretty hot in their own way. Like even when he was just trying to take evil out of her the way he kissed was not that of a kid. The chemistry was there and once they both realized it and were willing to put everything aside they made the cutest couple. Now I'm glad by the end of the series they were together and he told her he loved her I was so damn happy when he said it. I think all the fans all knew this boy was freakin head over heals in love with Himari even his friends knew just took him a bit longer.

I mean you can't tell me this boy when he would hold her body against him from behind or kiss her on the face that he didn't know what he was doing. I think Aoi is a innocent boy then when the notion strikes him he is a naughty boy but acts like he is still innocent. lol. Anyways I honestly do prefer Aoi as human and not as Nu and I really look forward to seeing these two have a great romance. Also the way they tied it up with her parents and him made it sound like they were truly fated to meet and be together and I loved that. Also the fact she went to the demon world to bring him back really showed how far she would go for him. I really love Himari without this sweet but spunky girl this show would not be the same.

Ise & Yukari there are so great to Aoi and will cover his back through anything. Ise was the first hottie on the show I noticed but the longer I looked at Yukari that man is beautiful like literally beautiful. I love that you get to know a bit of their back story along the way with Yukari being human and Ise being like this fire shikigami they really worked well off each other and were like family with Aoi I mean they were around him as a kid so its no surprise.

Ise is a tsundere no doubt about it, a very hot tsundere at that but it doesn't take long before he eventually warms up to Himari as well. He lost someone in his past and honestly it was sad because he is a very loyal man and you even see it when he is willing to sacrifice himself even for Aoi at one point. I hope to see more of his story and maybe a love interest later for this one.

Yukari is such a beautiful man its hard to believe he was human once. However I just wish he didn't always look so sad. I want to see this best boy get a happy ending in some way as well. He will stand by Aoi just as much if not more than Ise.

Mr. Nachi would have probably fell off my radar but damn it I have a thing for teachers. He was like a diamond in the rough then he takes those glasses off and damn he got hot as hell. Ok seriously a bad guy thats hot who knew that would happen haha like its not in most anime's I swear. Like you can't expect us ladies to hate them if they are so attractive. I even looked forward to seeing him on my screen even though he was a ass, and hurt Aoi plus will probably be a thorn in their side yet again.

Kasha is by far the hottest man on this show. From his bright red hair to those gold eyes Ahhh!! He is so dreamy. Yeah he is naughty and I say that because he just likes being a nuisance to Nue more than anything. I mean even in the last couple episodes he actually helped Himari get to Aoi. However he does most things for himself so I'm sure somehow that will come back on them. He is the bad boy you need to hate but then you look at him and your like "Bring me to the dark side baby!" Ok so maybe an exaggeration but thats my outlook.

Shuten Douji the gatekeeper of hakka well damn even this man is hot. He talks about eating her and I can't help but see this man and how hot he is drawn and my mind does not stay out of the gutter. He had a sexy voice to match it, but I wish there was more screen time of him maybe later hopefully.

Anyways I can honestly say from the awesome soundtrack to each episode I can't imagine not being pulled into this show. I know it got me and I plan to pick up the manga cause there is no way I can wait to see if we will get a season 2. If your looking for a very genuine but definitely unique anime this is it. There is other creatures the Nue fights as well as cool creatures like a giant cat and more. Even the story of orphan girl Himari which is what leads her to the house that was her families keeps you on edge to know as much as she does. I love all these characters but Aoi was the one that grew on me from the start to the end because I didn't expect to like him and now I love him too. If you like magic, supernatural like shoujo with romance this is it.

#demon prince of momochi house #the demon prince of momochi house #shoujo #shoujo anime #anime #ise #yukari #Takamura Nachi #Shuten Douji #himari momochi #Momochi-san Chi no Ayakashi Ouji #百千さん家のあやかし王子 #kasha #nue #Aoi Nanamori #reviews #anime review #review

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staringdownabarrel · 3 months

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Here's my thoughts on the Conclave of Shadows trilogy by Raymond E. Feist.

I thought it was interesting how this trilogy mirrored the original Riftwar trilogy in some ways. In terms of basic trilogy structure, both the Conclave of Shadows and the Riftwar trilogy are two-part trilogies, but different variations of it. In the Riftwar trilogy, Magician was the nearly standalone first part and then Silverthorn and A Darkness at Sethanon were the interlinked second part of the trilogy. Here in the Conclave of Shadows, Talon of the Silver Hawk and King of Foxes were the interlinked first part of the trilogy and then Exile's Return was the nearly standalone epilogue to the trilogy.

It's more than just that, though. Talon's story arc in the first two books was a pretty straight example of the hero's journey. This is the first time Feist's done a straight example of that since Magician: both Pug and Tomas had their own concurrent hero's journeys in that book. I guess you could make an argument for Shadow of a Dark Queen having this element as well, but I'm not going to make it because I'm not really convinced it sticks the landing.

For the most part, this trilogy is a lot faster paced than Feist's previous trilogies. This is something I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, yes, it does mean that a lot of the problems I had with Feist's early books (especially stuff like the fucking godawful romance arcs) aren't a factor here because they don't really have the room for them. Just because of that, these books are also forced to stick to the more swashbuckly elements that I think Feist does particularly well.

On the other hand, this approach does have certain drawbacks. For one, while there aren't as many early pastoral scenes here as there are in his earlier books, this also means that sometimes the characters don't feel quite as fleshed out. The other thing here is that while these books are set over the course of something like 7-10 years all up, you don't really get the sense that this much time has passed the same way you did in the original Magician.

So the thing here is that there's definitely books that Feist has written where I think this kind of pacing would have been amazing. I wish Silverthorn had have had this kind of pacing early on, for example. But the flipside is that I'm not really convinced that this trilogy is the best possible place for it.

An adjacent thing here is that I think while the faster pacing and lower page count of these books does mean you can basically knock the trilogy over in a weekend if you really wanted to, you could also do that with some of his longer books anyway. While some of them do have quite a large page count, they're also pretty easy to read regardless of your actual reading level. So regardless of the merits of this approach, I don't think it's helping with the accessibility at all.

The one thing I really did like in this trilogy is that it is, in some respects, one of the most overtly political things Feist has written since the Empire trilogy that he cowrote with Janny Wurts. This is something I had a fair bit to say about when I was writing out my thoughts on the first book, Talon of the Silver Hawk. I feel like Feist could have gone a lot harder with this element than he actually did, but by the same token I'm not really sure if he could have done that without turning off a large chunk of his audience at the time. As much as there's a lot of conservatism about anything race related today in 2024, especially when it comes to Indigenous issues, there was a lot more of that in 2002, when this book first came out.

The other part of this is I think the first book in this trilogy generally handled the politics about as well as you could hope Feist would while also balancing that with the more action-adventurey elements of the story, but then the next two books dropped the ball pretty badly. This is really my biggest disappointment with the series.

This is unfortunate because the series really could have gone really hard on the Indigenous-imperial relations. It's also part of the first real look at the Eastern Kingdoms this book offers. I think if it had have gone harder on this angle, it'd probably go from being one of Feist's better trilogies to being a really good example of the genre in general.

But anyway, this is the seventh of the ten trilogies that make up the Riftwar cycle. This means I'm well and truly into the final stretch of this series now.

#conclave of shadows #riftwar #raymond e. feist #books #rant

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shwazzberryswriting · 2 years

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Moving On

Pairing: Winwin x Original Female Character|Reader Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Romance, Light Angst, Fluff, Slice of Life, Fake Dating Rom Com

Summary: What started out as a simple favor soon turns into a wild weekend

Word count: 21.4k+ (someone take this fic away from me and post it!)

Rating: Mature for Sexual Content, Drinking, Cannabis Consumption (implied), College/University Party Warnings: Fake Dating/Trickery/Lying, Explicit Sexual Content; Smut, Kissing, Drunk Kissing, Nipple Play, Praising, Penis in Vagina Sex, Unprotected Sex (always cover up IRL 💚), Oral (F receiving), Heavy Petting, Creampie, Pussy/Cock Stroking, Slightest Bit of Accidental Dry Humping and Body Groping *Part 11 of my “The NCT Frat House Series”* Author’s Note: Hello, thank you thank you thank you X 3000 for your patience to my readers!!!!! From where this fic started to what it is now...I don't even know how it turned into what it did, but please enjoy!!!! I am so excited to post this fic! ALSO: Victon's Heo Chan has a supporting role in this fic!!

SMUT IN EPILOGUE: I honestly didn't plan for any smut but when I wrote the epilogue I went with the flow

Apologies in advance for any mistakes or shortcomings, this fic was WIP for so long so I'm pretty sure there are things I missed or got wrong! As I do with all of my longer fics, I broke the story up. This one is split up into 3 Chapters and an Epilogue! Please let me know if any of the links aren't working Chapter 1 (Below) | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue ---

Chapter 1

Shiny red and green streamers were lined along in criss-cross patterns in the links of the metal fence to the used car lot, Hearts’ Automotive, making it festive with Christmas spirit. The decorations were unseasonably out of style, but Rhea still hummed “Jingle Bell Rock” as she window shopped. Approaching the main building as her eyes scanned the cars in the lot, she fleetingly daydreamed of jumping into the old red Mazda Miata convertible to drive up to the mountains for some solace.

“Thinking of getting a new car?” she heard a low, gravelly voice ask.

As if appearing from thin air, a man in a short sleeve button up shirt was fixing his spinach colored tie at the collar with one hand while the other dabbed a dull grey handkerchief against his temple. Sweat beads glided down his shiny red face as he held a hand for her to shake.

“We’re having a Spring Blow-Out Sale,” the salesman said as he stuffed his handkerchief into his pants pocket. “You look like an adventurous girl. Why not take your girlfriends on a hike in this 2012 Subaru Outback?”

He pulled out the same grey handkerchief as he stood beside the red Outback that sat next to the Miata Rhea had been admiring. Her stomach curdled as the salesman began wiping the front hood of the car with his handkerchief. She’d barely been able to speak before he moved to the blue Ford Focus behind him.

“I’m wa-”

“-Or daily visits to the mall with your gal pals!” He kicked the front passenger side tire with his stained leather shoes. “You know this baby has good gas mileage. You’ll save on gas as you make your frequent shopping trips.”

“I’m waiting for-” she began before the man interrupted her again.

“-Oh, so you’re waiting for your dad! Of course!” The salesman’s neck collar was yellowing, damp with sweat. “While we wait for the old man to arrive, why don’t you tell me what sort of car dear old dad wants for you?”

Glancing at the way the salesman was subtly shifting his weight from one leg to the other, she had a feeling he would continue to hover. If Sid ever showed up, she was going to kill him. Frustrated that her brother could never show up on time, Rhea looked around for a way out.

“Babe!” Rhea called out immediately as she saw a familiar face exit the front doors of the dealership building, right behind the sweat-ridden salesman. His thick eyebrows and full pink lips always stood out to her, making his handsome face give off a boyish innocence that contrasted with his broad shoulders and tall stature. It was difficult to mistake him with just any stranger. “Sicheng! Babe!”

She rushed past the salesman, and walked under the shade of the building. Grabbing the hand of her diner waiter, she leaned over to whisper a quick, “Please help me get rid of this guy,” before pecking a kiss on his cheek. He jumped a little, but looked over at the salesman before turning to look at Rhea.

“Can you tell this gentleman we’re not buying a car?” she asked clearly when their eyes locked. Pressing her lips together, she prayed that the man who’d served her onion rings for years would play along. The thin line between his eyebrows uncreased, and he squared his shoulders as he looked at the wide eyed salesman.

“Good afternoon, sir, I’m-”

“-We’re not interested,” Sicheng said immediately. He gripped onto her hand firmly, leading them past the salesman.

“Thanks,” she said softly as she let go of his hand.

He glanced over their backs before throwing his arm over her shoulders. She felt the sun’s rays blaring onto her scalp, her dark curls absorbing the heat as his jawline tightened. She’d never considered what Sicheng’s body would feel like, but with her body pressed against his side her mind blanked, shocked at how firm his arm felt draped over her shoulders.

“That dude’s still staring,” he said.

She felt a hard thump in her chest, similar to the time she caught her falling bookbag and Tolstoy’s “War and Peace” slammed against her cleavage so hard she almost fainted. Face hot like a sun soaked leather covered car seat, she was speechless as they walked out of the lot. She had to stop thinking about how long it had been since a man had held her for longer than a couple seconds.

“Thanks,” she said once they were walking away from the lot, crossing the street. They stopped together at the bus stop. “You have no idea how much you helped me out.”

He nodded, sitting down on the green painted metal bench meant for bus riders. She worried that he wanted to be rid of her as he remained quiet, glancing down at his watch as his eyes were nearly shut tight, squinting from the sun’s rays hitting his face. After all, if he’d come up to her to ask her to help him, she would have…she didn’t know what she would have done.

Feeling like an idiot for having put him in an impossible situation, she licked her lips, trying to find the right words to apologize. Before she could even clear her throat, he threw his hand up to shade his eyes, giving her a half grin as the left side of his lips curved upwards.

“Rhea,” he said, “you always tip 25% and your usual order is coffee and onion rings.”

“Is that how you remember your regulars?” she asked, sitting beside him. The tension in her chest loosened when he smiled. “Our tips and orders?”

“More or less.”

“It’s weird to see you outside of Nectar,” she said, referring to the diner that Sicheng worked at. She couldn’t recall the first time she met him, but they’d only ever existed together at Nectar before. And strictly as waiter and patron. “So um, are you here to buy a car?”

“No,” he replied, holding up a white paper bag in his hand. “One of my friends works here, so he gives us discounts on car parts.”

“What kind of car do you have?”

“This is for one of my other friends. His front headlight is dead, and I offered to help pick up the replacement.”

“You can fix cars?” she asked, sitting up straight. Her chest felt light knowing that she could keep talking to him about cars. “My brother’s a car enthusiast, too.”

“I know a little here and there,” he said with a shrug. Her eyes fell to his hand falling down to his side as he set the bag down. “Why were you visiting Hearts’ Auto?”

“I need a car,” she replied. Looking up, her eyes followed his gaze. “HEART’S AUTOMOTIVE” was written in bold acid tripping neon green letters against a matte black billboard at the top of the main building to the used car lot. “My brother was supposed to meet me here to help me buy a car. He didn’t show up.”

“Who’s your brother? Does he eat at Nectar?”

“He went to Berkeley,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “He would never step into Nectar or anything affiliated with our university. I don’t know if you know my brother, Sid? I think he said he had a friend connected to Heart’s.”

“Wait, Sid,” Sicheng said, resting his hands behind him on the bench, “Sid has the blue 2004 Toyota Celica, right?”

“You know about his Celica?” she replied, picking up her legs to cross in front of her. “Did you know he sacrificed his summer break saving up for it?”

“He told me about how he worked as a waiter at your aunt’s restaurant.”

“Please,” she said with a head shake, “I was there. I don’t need to hear that story again. So you’ve seen his precious Celica?”

“Yuta and Kun helped him fix the alignment on his front axles. Kun works at Heart’s. Have you met Kun or Yuta?”

“They sound familiar,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. Was Yuta the soccer jock a former roommate tried hooking up with a couple years ago? “I don’t really hang out with Sid and his car enthusiast friends. When did you meet my brother?”

“He brought the Celica to our house last summer.”

“Wait a minute,” she said, holding up a hand in the air, “my brother's visited the NCT frat house?”

She laughed when he nodded, another half a grin growing on his face. His boyish smile was charming, she realized, because the apples of his cheeks popped out and turned the slightest shade of pink. Clearing her throat, she stifled her laughs before speaking again.

“So much for never going where I go,” she said with a snort.

“You’ve been to my place?” he asked with raised eyebrows. He sat up straight.

“I’ve been to a few parties,” she said, feeling her cheeks grow warm. Rhea knew she wasn’t a social butterfly, but she had enough friends to get invitations to the NCT Frat parties. “I’m sorry if I was stepping into your territory.”

“How come I’ve never seen you?” he asked, his half grin returning, though his eyes were moving to the ground. Her hands fisted into her jeans when he glanced up at her. Sicheng's overbite was noticeable when he gave a full on smile, adding to its charm. “It would have been wild to play Beer Pong against my best tipper.”

“I’m your best tipper?” she asked, surprised. Most of her orders were under $10 given that she went to Nectar to snack on onion rings while she studied. “Do you have a chart of your customers’ tips?”

The top of his ears turned red, and she felt her cheeks grow hot once more with a bright smile refusing to disappear. She covered her smile by throwing her hands over her mouth. She wanted to ask him half a dozen questions, mostly wondering why he suddenly seemed so shy, but she realized she was afraid of stuttering if she were to open her mouth.

“Winwin?” a woman in a red hoodie was waving her hand as she looked at Sicheng. She stood right before them on the bench.

He sat up straight and threw his arm over Rhea’s shoulders, his fingers gripping onto her arm. His body felt rigid as she uncrossed her legs to straighten herself up. Their eyes met for a second, and she knew he was asking her to play along with him.

“Wen! Hey!” he said loudly, the cheerful tone almost as fake as their relationship. “Rhea, this is Wen. She’s friends with Kun’s girlfriend. Wen, this is Rhea, my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend!” Wen’s eyebrows raised and her mouth hung open for a solid five seconds before she shut her mouth. Squaring her shoulders, she glanced at Rhea with her lips pressed together before looking back at Sicheng. “That was kind of rude of you not to tell me.”

“Why?” he asked, pulling Rhea closer to him. Between the sun and his body, Rhea’s body was too hot for comfort. Her neck was starting to sweat. “I found out through Yuta that you began dating Mike-”

“-It’s nice to meet you, Wen,” Rhea said, holding her hand out to Wen. “I’m Rhea. Sicheng was so sweet to come with me to pick up a lightbulb for my car.”

“Rhea?” Wen said with a soft tone, shaking her hand with a gentle grasp. Eyes squinting for a moment, she scanned Rhea’s face. “Didn’t you model at the university fall fashion show with that gold showstopper gown?”

“Oh - no,” she said, feeling her face grow hot, sweat suddenly forming at her temples. Not only was she lying to a stranger about Sicheng being her boyfriend, but her five seconds of viral fame with her real exboyfriend was haunting her months later. “No, like, my-um...Chan, you know Heo Chan? He was modeling for his friend and like, it was a joke. It was during his rehearsals and Hanse posted it on Instagram but I didn’t model during the actual show.”

“Wow, Winwin,” Wen said as her eyes shifted to Sicheng, “your rebound is a model? What the fuck was I to you?”

Before Rhea could register whether or not Wen was insulting her, Sicheng scoffed, and squeezed her arm gently.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, squaring his shoulders. “You broke up with me. Three weeks after we broke up you went out on a date with Mike. The guy you swore was too stupid to know how to tell time.”

“It was just a date,” Wen replied. She squared her shoulders again. “I actually have a date with my new boyfriend tonight! Care to join?”

“Why not?” Sicheng spoke up, tilting his chin up. “Text me the restaurant and time, and we’ll be there."

“Fine,” Wen said, picking up her phone. “I hope you like GT Steakhouse.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Sicheng said with a scoff, a sharp, low “tsk” sliced through the air.

She’d never seen Sicheng be anything but polite or tired, so she felt numb watching him be so expressive. It was like a black and white picture turned into a fully colored feature length movie. The dull features of a simple, pleasant sight transforming into a colorful piece of art, full of wonder and much more depth than a mere snapshot could ever grasp.

“We need to go,” Rhea said as the giant white and blue public bus came into view. “Don’t forget the bag, Sicheng.”

“Thanks, Rhea,” he said as his ears turned bright red. He met her gaze and she read the fear in his eyes as sweat glided down the side of his face.

Making sure she wasn’t still watching then, Rhea glanced at Wen furiously tapping her thumbs onto the screen of her phone, her tendrils falling over her forehead as a gentle breeze passed. Her eyebrows were creased together and her pink stained lips were curved into a frown. They didn’t exchange farewells as Sicheng let go of Rhea so she could get onto the bus before him. Once they were seated at the only unoccupied pair of seats at the front, Sicheng ran his hands over his eyes and he threw his back against his seat.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said, shaking his head as he threw his hand down. “I’ll tell her you broke up with me so she wins. Dinner’s canceled.”

Eyes downcast, staring at his lap, Sicheng’s eyelashes curved upwards beautifully as Rhea looked at him. She was used to the contemplative frown paired with the thick, long eyelashes. At Nectar though, she’d never cared to think of the context behind such a sad expression.

“What did she win?”

He met her gaze, the frown remaining. She gave him a smile, hoping he knew she meant him no harm. Showing teeth was too expressive, so she kept her mouth shut.

“She’s the one who moved on first and moved on better,” he replied. “It’s stupid right?”

She shook her head, clasping her hands together. Trying to get a car was her big girl moment. Chan had driven her to work and picked her up when they had dated. It took 2 months of waking up early and arriving home late to wear her down enough to ask Sid to help her find a car. Instead of a new car, she’d gotten herself a frat boy as her fake boyfriend.

“Heo Chan got the shoot manager position at Vogue Japan,” she said, turning to look at his face. His blank stare made her smile. “Chan’s my exboyfriend. Anyway, he spent months applying and interviewing for that job. He told me that he’d let me know if he got it. I found out from my brother congratulating him on Instagram. So…”

Her smile disappeared as she recalled how her stomach tightened into a rock when she realized Chan had moved on from her. Sure, they hadn’t spoken since the day they broke up, but they’d agreed that they’d be too busy to communicate. Then again, he had promised that even if they were broken up, he would tell her if he got the job he’d been wanting for months. She bit back her tears, regretting the thought of Chan.

“Why was your ex calling you ‘Winwin?’” she asked, turning her body in toward his. She stopped when she realized their knees were about to touch, her fingers digging into the strap of her purse as her heartbeat quickened. She’d never been so shy about being near him before.

“It’s a nickname,” he replied. “A lot of people call me Winwin, but Sicheng’s my real name. Call me whatever you want. I think my name today is Loselose.”

His voice was faint, his eyes unfocused as he looked at the ground. She gave a small chuckle, getting him to look up at her. A smile broke out as his round cheeks rose high and he gave a small guffaw.

Sicheng had helped her escape the relentless salesman. If he had to admit defeat to his ex it meant she hadn’t returned the favor. At what other point in her life would she and Sicheng have to pretend to be a couple in which she’d be doing him the favor? And if she was to be completely honest, she’d had a lot of fun playing his girlfriend in front of Wen. She liked the more complex version of Sicheng.

“Let’s go on the double date,” she said, tapping her knee against his for a second. Their eyes met, his mouth hanging open. “You’re moving on so much better, because I’ve been the perfect girlfriend.” She tapped his chin with a finger, and laughed when he closed his mouth. “Let her know that your rebound model girlfriend has made you so much happier.”

Her stop was approaching, so she stood, and he followed her. They got off together as he stared around, seeming to take in his surroundings. She walked toward the street light that led to the pearl pink painted apartment complex across the street. It was behind a park where she took her morning runs. At that moment, the park was occupied by a handful of kids climbing on the slide and monkey bars with their caretakers watching nearby.

“Did you get off at the wrong stop?” she asked as Sicheng walked beside her.

“No,” he said immediately, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. He looked at the ground for a moment. “We’re going to need to get our story straight. When did we meet? How long have we been going out? What are your likes or dislikes? Because what if I order us shrimp and you’re allergic?”

“Have you done this before?”

“What makes you say that?”

He’d stopped walking, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. She heard the paper bag crinkle in his pocket.

“You’re telling me we have to get our story straight,” she replied. “I didn’t even think to do that, but it makes complete sense. I mean, when did we start dating?”

He shrugged, glancing around the street.

“Is there a place where we can get coffee or tea?” he asked. “We should drink as we hatch this plot.”

White grains scattered across the small round table as Sicheng tore open the pink packet of sugar. They had the last table outside with an umbrella, which Rhea appreciated. Her scalp itched when it became too hot, and her focus couldn’t wander since she and Sicheng were in the middle of an unplanned scheme. His rough handling of a packet of sugar was tempting her patience as her mind wanted to roll into the gutter.

“How long have you been broken up?” Rhea asked, forcing her eyes to look up to his face. He was completely focused on mixing his coffee concoction. “Chan and I broke up almost 4 months ago, so when would be a good window for us to have started dating?”

“Wen and I broke up 3 months ago,” he replied, mixing his drink with a wooden stirring stick. After sipping his coffee, he set the mug down. “You and I have been dating for just over a month.”

“You said it so casually even I believed it.”

The apples of his cheeks flushed as he guffawed, reminding her of the last time she’d seen him before Heart’s Auto. His face had been red like a maraschino cherry when he had given her a hot basket of onion rings. She’d noticed because a few sweat beads from his face had landed onto her notebook, staining her doodles. The marigold chain on the outside corner of her notebook had wrinkled into squiggly lines with Sicheng’s sweat.

“I asked you out the last time I visited Nectar,” she said. “You gave me the onion rings for free, so I felt compelled to ask you out.”

“Oh shit, it was because I ruined that drawing you’d been working on.” She smiled, teeth showing, appreciative that he’d remembered that day too. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m your girlfriend now, I think we’ve gone past you having to apologize for that.”

He grinned and she returned the smile. As they drank silently together, Rhea noticed how Sicheng squared his shoulders as he sat up straight, putting his mug down before he looked at her. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“I can get a couple of friends to play along with the ruse,” he said. “Wen’s going to ask why I haven’t shared my girlfriend with our friends.”

She nodded. Unlike him, she had never been good at remaining friends with exes and the mutual friends that had come with the relationship. Why keep company around who all were extensions of the person who broke her heart?

After the split with Chan, all their mutual friends constantly updated her on how sad Chan was, as if the sad feelings would be enough to convince them to get back together. Eventually, it was easier to work more, study harder, and start research on what would make for a good car to purchase for the first time than try to balance out a safe distance between her friends and Chan.

“You still talk to each other’s friends?” she asked as her index finger slid onto the table, collecting tiny grains of sugar under her finger. She was creating a line, pointing toward him.

“We were friends before we began dating. We only dated for like, 6 months, but we’ve known each other for a couple years.”

“Why did you break up?”

“She wanted to go to Coachella and I wanted to roadtrip to Austin for our first trip together. There was more to it, but…we were such good friends. We didn’t make a good couple, though.” He cleared his throat, causing Rhea to stop her finger on the table, her eyes drifting up to meet his gaze. “What about your history? Why’d you break up with your ex?”

“We were talking about getting an apartment together because my lease was ending,” she replied, her eyes returning to her finger. She pushed the grains of sugar under her finger off the ledge of the table, swerving left, before placing her hands into her lap. “But Chan was worried about the potential job in Japan. And then I want to stay here because I still don’t know what grad schools I should apply to next year. So like, yeah, we were both realizing that life wasn’t going to be us forever.”

“How long did you date?” he asked.

“A little under a year and a half,” she replied. Afraid that he’d start grilling her about the finer details of her breakup, she asked, “So if we’re dating, are you the type to hold hands? If you want Wen to be jealous we can hold hands. I don’t mind cheek kissing, hand kissing is actually really sweet,” - she paused as she noticed the tips of his ears turning red - “but we can just call each other babe or something.”

“No,” he said, sitting up straight. “Um, yeah, we can hold hands. If things get awkward, just kiss me on the cheek and I’ll know that means you want to leave. With you and Chan, was it a bad breakup? Who was the one to call it off?”

“He broke up with me. I knew it was coming, but,” she paused, feeling her throat dry up as she finally picked up her cup of coffee and took a large gulp of her milk and sugar heavy coffee. “So like, before we leave to get ready for dinner with Wen, we’ve been dating for a little over a month right?”

“Yes.”

“Are we the type of couple that calls each other babe?”

“No,” he replied, firm and clear. “I don’t like pet names. Should I pick you up for the date?”

“How about I come to your place and we leave together from there? I'm familiar with how to get to your house, but not with how to find GT Steakhouse.”

They exchanged phone numbers, and she made sure to save Sicheng’s number with a heart emoji to get herself into the role of his girlfriend. Walking home, she decided that she was going to play the role of a girlfriend who was head over heels infatuated with Sicheng. It was clear that his breakup with Wen had been tense. As long as the dinner ended on a good note for him, Rhea would consider it a favor returned in full.

Chapter 2

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alrightsnaps · 2 years

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unpopular opinion but personally i think getting rid of the study scene, the wedding nught speech and him sucking the venom out of her boobs were good choices because i was explaining tvwlm to my friends who have only seen s1 and they were like ummm idk if i want another dubius consent scene or forced (?) sex in regards to the study scene and wedding night and they said the bee scene would come across cringe on screen even though i tried to tell them it wasnt that bad. ik book readers are dying rn, but i think we have to remember there are some things casual audiences just cannot get on board with and they make up a majority of the views and second of all, some things just dont translate to screen well or hold up very well in general 20 years later. also my friends are super hyped for the melodrama the engagement to edwina is going to bring, and i think most casual fans will probably eat that shit up because people thrive for the drama when watching a PERIOD DRAMA !!!

I think I've said it again but just to make things clear: I'm sure general audiences will love Kate and Anthony. How could they not? Every time I see them on screen together I get fucking goosebumps so I expect their love story this season to captivate viewers. Plus drama selling and all that.

That being said...

If it were just about the library scene (the first one, not the one in Aubrey Hall during the storm), the bee incident and the wedding speech, I wouldn't even mind. I expected changes to be made forthe adaptation. But the way they've altered Edwina's character, erased Kate's backstory of trauma and the Anthony/Edwina wedding? No. I simply can't get on board with that.

But my biggest issue with season 2 is just how little Kate and Anthony we'll get as a couple. Like, okay so you want to include all that Edwina/Anthony/Kate bullshit for the sake of drama– fine. I hate it but I could get past it if they at least dedicated more time to the resolution and Kate and Anthony getting together and being a couple for longer that one scene.

I mean, no wedding scene for them? No wedding night at all? Seriously?? I can't help but feel robbed. Slowburn is great and all but I'd much rather see Kate and Anthony done justice in the end than watch 7 1/2 episodes of them being apart. That's the only Kathony season we'll get. We'll see the two of them suffer for not being able to be together all season only for their wedding (and probably wedding night) to happen off screen. They didn't just make changes they know will upset fans for the most beloved book in the series, they also barely gave their protagonists the screen time they deserve together on top of that. No married Kathony, no domesticity, nothing.

I'm also very cautious about the less sex scenes part that many fans have brushed off because "romance is more important". Season 1 was pretty innovative in celebrating the female gaze in that aspect, in a television landscape where there is constant gratuitous female nudity that objectifies and degrades women. Sex is a pretty important part of romance and I wanted my favourite couple to get at the very least one (1) sex scene. Right now by the spoilers I've read I'm not sure they've even given us that...

#bridgerton asks #bridgerton spoilers #kathony

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coreychick · 3 years

Text

CHAPTER 15: The Scars

Part of the In the Dark Series: 18+ Smut & Story /Romance and Adventure

Din X Fem Reader Insert

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Just a reminder, I do not post warnings, so if you have triggers, this may not be a story for you.

A/N: I know it's been a while, but guess what, I'm posting two chapters this week! Woot woot! Also, we are reaching the pinnacle of our mysterious backstory in the next few chapters (all will be revealed), so the next few chapters are going to be slow coming as I work hard to get them just right. But please rest assured, I have this story plotted out all the way to the end- and we will get there! Thanks for reading.

A Long Time Ago

Mopping floors wasn’t the worst chore. Doing the laundry wasn’t the worst chore. Even scrubbing the dishes after dinner service for nearly eighty orphans wasn’t the worst chore. But having to sit through another one of Biala Den’s lectures on why running away was foolish and dangerous- well that was nearly impossible to withstand. Not because she’d drone on and on while you had to sit quietly and listen- though Maker knows that wasn’t fun- but because she was such a nice lady and she genuinely seemed worried over you. You hated the idea of feeling like a burden- to anyone, or that it might get her in trouble too. Knowing that she had fretted over your well being for even a short while, put a nasty lump in your gut. Honestly, you had thought you were doing her a favor this last time you had left. Just one less kid to worry about.

Sitting quietly through the lecture though, was a necessary evil. She prattled on and on about the trouble you’d caused and you found yourself staring out the window, trying to remember why it was that you came back in the first place. Biala Den thought you came back each time when you’d run out of food or could no longer withstand the elements, but that’s not really true at all. Sure, there were a few times when sourcing food was more difficult and your supplies were low, but you’d never been starving- always able to find edible vegetation in between bouts of protein. And, Bestine had one of the best climates in the galaxy. Though there was occasional bad weather, you had grown pretty adept at constructing fortified shelters in the wild.

You’d never admitted as much, content to let her think she had you all figured out, but the truth was, you’d come back when the loneliness became too much. Sometimes it would only take a few weeks and other times you could go for months on end, telling yourself that you didn’t need anything from anybody to survive, but eventually, a yearning for contact with other people would drag you back into civilization.

You’d continued to stare out the window, wondering if perhaps the connection you’d been craving couldn’t possibly be worth enduring that lecture for much longer.

Maybe I should get a dog. That’s it! A dog will be my friend, probably more loyal than any kid here anyway.

“ Have you heard a word I’ve said?”

“Huh, what?!” you said, as she snapped a finger near your ear, pulling you from your thoughts.

“You’re not a bad kid, I wish I could understand what you’re thinking.” she sighed, frustrated.

“Extra chores for the next two weeks, think you can handle that?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” you said.

She usually made you swear to never ever run away again, but this time, she seemed defeated, like she already knew it was temporary, and it wouldn’t be long before you ran again. It panged your heart a little to hear the defeat in her voice. It’s nice to have someone believe in you, especially when you can’t believe in yourself; and it’s not like you didn't try- try to make it work, try to look past the insecurities and overwhelming feelings that you just didn’t belong. There’s got to be something else out there, somewhere everything will make sense.

“I’ll try to make an effort this time, I promise.”

She nodded her head, though it was clear your words provided little reassurance for her.

“You know where your bunk is, we didn’t even clear it away this time.” she said, rising from behind her desk. “You may take a few moments to get settled, then head to dinner. You’ll be on dishes tonight, after.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” you repeat, before heading out the door and down to the hall to the girl’s ward.

There was the familiar clunking sound of your heels echoing off of the hallway walls as you entered the girl’s dormitory. You headed back to your old bunk, cringing when you saw that your former bunkmate was sitting on your bed. Folly Langra. She’d been about your height, same age too. She had fiery red hair that perfectly reflected her scorching temper- a temper you often found yourself on the receiving end of.

You gritted your teeth and took the last few steps toward the bunk. She was casually propped up on the bottom bunk- your bunk- with one knee resting over the other, bouncing her foot up and down as she flipped through a book. She didn’t bother to face you, but greeted you with her usual callousness.

“I’d really hoped you wouldn’t be back this time.”

That makes two of us.

You didn’t bother acknowledging her snide remark- never did in fact, and sometimes you think that made her hate you even more. She made no move to vacate the bottom bunk, and you didn’t make a fuss, because it only seemed fair that you forfeited your claim on it the last time you walked out the door- so instead, you just tossed your fresh set of clothes up on the top bunk and climbed up onto the thin mattress. The second you laid your head back, you felt a kick that radiated up from the underside of the mattress.

“Oops” she said, “foot slipped.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to recall why exactly it was that you came back. There wasn't a lot that could be worth enduring Folly’s wrath for. In fact, she was the driving force on your most recent departure. She’d always been nasty to you, quick to jump on any opportunity to humiliate you in front of others or spew venomous words, but this last time, she became downright volatile.

A year ago, you had unknowingly started your period. Folly had caught sight of the small stain on the back of your pants and happily announced it to the entire orphanage at meal time. She relished every giggle and finger that pointed in your direction. You hadn’t given her the satisfaction of a reaction, choosing instead to silently excuse yourself from the table without eating and retreat back to your bunk. You were quite proud that you never let a tear slip in front of her, though inside, the mortification was deep. Thankfully, the snickers and teasing had died off pretty quickly. The older kids are so quick to move on to the next victim- always seeking the next distraction from their hopeless lives, the reality of their situation, the people they’d loved and lost, or whatever it was that they’d rather forget about.

It hadn’t been more than a week later, when you were down in the laundry, doing chores. You had spied Folly sneaking in with a white bundle in her arms. You stayed tucked around a corner and out of sight, happy to avoid any interaction with her. That’s when you noticed she seemed to be trying to conceal something. Curiosity got the best of you. You quietly stepped out and behind her as she began to fill a wash basin with piping hot water. A squeaky floorboard gave away your presence, causing her to spin around in surprise. She was frozen in place, speechless for maybe the first time since you’d known her. You looked down at the crumpled bundle of sheets in her arms and spotted a large blood stain. So she had bled through onto her own sheets and was trying to hide the evidence? Of course she was. As a bully herself, she knew well what others might say. You looked from the blood stain and back up to meet her eyes with your own. She looked at you and then squeezed them shut, her face clenched in preparation for you to rain down some verbal onslaught in revenge- after all, she had embarrassed you in front of the whole orphanage for the very same thing. But that wasn’t your way.

“Don’t use hot water- it’ll set the stain. Soak it in cold water first, then wash.” is all you said, before leaving the room.

It was your hope, that after extending that olive branch, Folly would see fit to leave you be from then on. But your hope was in vain. Folly seemed almost more angry after that day. Angry that she was reduced to your level. Angry that you didn't retaliate. Angry that you had something to hold over her head? Who knows. Maybe she wasn’t really angry with you at all. More likely, she was just angry at the world, angry at her Mother for leaving her in this situation. Most kids here who had emotional problems were just trying to deal. You were just an outlet for those frustrations for her- which is why you rarely fought back. That girl was hurting inside.

Now, in another attempt to find a companion, you had returned to the orphanage knowing full well that you’d have to deal with her once again.

Later that day at lunch, the cutest boy in the orphanage, Tuck Holdkerr had plopped his tray of food down right across from you. Tuck was a year older and had come to the orphanage after his Grandfather, who had raised him, passed away. He mostly stuck to himself, though you’d say he was one of the most popular kids at the orphanage. Everybody seemed to like him- including Folly. Most of the older girls could be heard giggling and whispering his name into each other's ears. But they were smart enough not to interfere. Nobody got in Folly’s way if there was something she wanted- and she wanted Tuck. If he knew it, he either pretended not to, or didn’t care. Maybe he was just that cool, but he really didn’t pay attention to any of the girls and the way they fawned over him. He was like that. Liked by everybody and either oblivious to it, or just indifferent.

It was a surprise then, when he sat down across from you - a kid who wasn’t liked by anybody. Honestly, you’d be surprised if he even knew your name. You’d looked around to see if maybe the other tables were all full- but no, there were empty spaces and other places he could have sat.

“Hey,” he’d said, with a broad smile on his face. He had beautiful clean white teeth and soulful eyes. You couldn't blame all the other girls for pining over him.

“Hey.” you’d said back, cautiously.

He’d picked up his fork and had started with his vegetables first- an interesting choice since every other kid always went for the protein first- you included. He’d caught your curious gaze.

“I figure it’s better to save the best for last, you know? I’d rather have the best food be the last thing I taste.”

Not sure what to say, you stayed quiet and poked your fork around your plate. It was weird. Normally you’d pick an empty spot, eat your meal in peace and move on. Occasionally, other kids would sit near you, but they rarely ever engaged in conversation with the ‘weirdo’.

“You’re the runaway, right?”

His question made you uncomfortable. For all intents, The Bestine Orphanage wasn't a bad place. The caretakers were kind, they actually educated the kids, and you could always count on three hots and a cot. Yeah, you’d come to be known as "the runaway"- something the other kids didn’t quite understand. Folly would often use it as evidence for determining that you were a ‘freak’.

“She lives out in the woods, no better than a rabid animal.” she’d say.

You sighed a little, hoping Tuck wasn’t about to deliver a similar barb.

“Yeah, I guess that’s me.”

“Is it true you live out in the forest?”

You shrugged your shoulders in response.

“That’s so cool!” he said, surprising you.

“You hunt for your food too?”

You looked around one more time, to see if anybody else was listening, to see if this was a trick of some kind, but everybody else seemed to be lost in their own conversations.

Is this really happening? Is he talking to me? He’s not weirded out by me?

“Gotta eat.” you’d said in response.

He’d swallowed down his last bite of vegetable mash as his fork speared it’s first piece of meat- fish. There was always fish to eat on Bestine.

“That’s so cool, what kind of animals?”

Wow, so this is what it’s like to have an actual conversation- with someone other than the caretakers that is- or Folly, if you could even consider those conversations.

“Fish- of course, squirrels, rabbits.... fowl. I haven't managed any big game yet. Need weapons for that.”

“Do you think you could teach me?”

“Teach you what?”

“How to hunt small game.”

“Why?” you’d asked, surprised.

“Because, you seem….free.” he said, catching you off guard.

Free? You supposed freedom was one of the best parts of living off of the land, but with that freedom, came loneliness. A steep price to pay.

“You think I’m free? ”

“Yeah, you come and go as you please, don’t have to answer to anybody- when you’re not here, I mean. What happened this time? Did they catch you again?”

“Something like that.” Not exactly.

“Man, I can’t wait to get out of here. One more birthday and I’m gone.”

This intrigued you.

“Where will you go?”

“I used to work on my Grandfather’s fishing boat, was his right hand up until he died. I could have kept it going on my own, but the authorities came in and said I was too young- took my boat away. But I’m nearly old enough now, nobody will mess with me once I get my boat back. I can’t wait to be out on the water again, doing my thing, won’t have to answer to anybody but myself, you know?”

You’d nodded your head, understanding. How nice it must be to know where you want to go, who you are and what you want to be.

“Yeah, I get it.”

“So, will you teach me? How to hunt small game, I mean? I know how to fish- better than anybody maybe- but I don’t know jack shit about hunting outside of the water.”

“Mr. Holdkerr! Mind your language, young man.” Ms. Biala Den said, having just walked by and overheard his last few words. He cringed and said, “yes ma’am, apologies.” She had a disapproving look on her face that quickly melted into a smile. He was like that, just had a way of charming people. Unfortunately, Ms. Biala Den had scolded him loud enough to catch the attention of a few onlookers. A foreboding prickle ran down your spine and you felt the heat of glaring eyes from across the room. Sure enough, you had caught the attention of one Folly Langra. If she’d had laser beam eyes, she’d have been drilling a hole right through your skull at that very moment, for talking to the object of her desire.

“So? Whattaya say? It’ll be fun.”

“Fun?” He wanted to hang out? To have fun?

You hesitated, knowing full well the type of misery Folly would put you through if you actually went through with this. But this was why you had come back, In hopes of making a connection.

He must have sensed your apprehension, because that’s when he hit you with the real clencher.

“Yeah, the kind of stuff friends do.”

Friends . You silently mouthed the word friends . How badly you wanted a friend.

You looked back at Folly, she sat at a table across the room, her arms folded across her chest as she tapped her fingers in wait.

A friend would be worth it.

You turned back to Tuck, his handsome face waiting to see what you’d say.

“Ok, I’ll show you how to hunt.”

“Yes!” he exclaimed, pounding his fist onto the table excitedly. You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction, maybe the first smile you could remember having there in a long, long time. A small blossom of hope took root in your gut then, nourished by the thrilling prospect of actually having a friend.

Folly had abruptly stood up from her table, turned to leave, dumping her food in the trash- tray and all.

Here we go. I’ll pay for this later.

You woke up fresh and recharged from a good night’s rest the next morning, despite sleeping above Folly’s bunk. You had anticipated dealing with her sharp tongue or repetitive kicks under your bunk all night- some type of retaliation for talking to Tuck- but she had been surprisingly quiet. Offputtingly so.

You had stayed up late the night before, running scenarios through your head, of what it might be like to spend time with Tuck. You imagined what things you might talk about, the things you’d teach him about hunting and the fun you’d have. You’d also thought about Folly and what hell she might put you through if she found out. Perhaps you could explain to her that the two of you were nothing more than friends? Yeah, like that will work.

You hopped down from the top bunk, your bare feet hitting the wood floor and noticed that her bunk was empty. You grabbed your toiletries from the bottom drawer of the shared dresser and made your way down the hall towards the freshers. When you passed by May, a girl four bunks down from yours, she let out a loud gasp- her steepled hands flying up to shield her face in shock. The expression she wore was both jarring and tinged with pity- for you.

“What!? What is it?” you’d said, patting around your face.

“Your hair.” is all she could muster.

You reached up and immediately felt a massive clump of solidified goo on the side of your head. You began tugging on it only to find that it had anchored itself into your hair, not far from the roots. You began to pull at it, the rubbery substance stretched out into sticky strings. When you looked at your hand, you could see fragments of bright pink suggam- a type of sweet treat, sort of like a cross between taffy and gum- notorious for it’s difficult to chew texture. It also had a reputation of getting stuck in the hair of younglings, to the point where the hair would have to be cut.

You rushed to the fresher, collecting stares and mumblings as you ran by. When you got to the sink and looked into the sole mirror hanging on the wall, you could see that it was much worse than you had even anticipated. There was a large wad of suggam, fully encapsulating a mass of your hair. The amount of it was large- it would have to be several mouthfuls of the substance. What’s worse is that it had hardened in several areas as you slept, cementing itself into the hair. You began in vain, to run your hair under the faucet, dousing it with warm water, hoping it would reconstitute the substance enough to loosen and break away. The water did nothing. You used soap and tried pulling, but it was like rubber concrete, fully embedded. Tears began to fall as hair began to break and fall away at your attempts.

Finally, after some time trying and failing to make any progress, your hands fell to your sides. You gathered all the composure you could muster. The tears receded as your emotions ran numb, resigning yourself to what you knew had to be done. You turned to the small cabinet against the wall, where various toiletries and medical supplies were stored. You opened the third drawer and pulled out a large set of shears. As you exited the fresher, you could see a group of kids had gathered in wait to witness your reaction. Folly stood nearby smiling as she leaned against the wall, her arms crossed as she blew out a large bright pink bubble.

You halted in your tracks and looked deep into her eyes as the bubble popped. Pure venom stared back at you.

“Yikes” she said, “Looks like somebody wasn’t very careful.”

Silently, you approached her, turning your palm to reveal the shears in your hand. Folly straightened her stance upon sighting the potential weapon you yielded- a brief moment of fear passed over her face. You came to a stop directly in front of her, her nervousness beginning to show through her confident façade. You harshly grabbed her wrist, facing her palm upward. She nearly jumped out of her skin when you slammed the handle of the shears into her palm and pushed her fingers closed around it.

“Do it.” you commanded- and you weren’t really sure if you were commanding her to cut your hair or end it all right then and there- didn’t matter.

“What?!”

“Do it.” you repeated.

“Eww, no. I’m not touching that greasy head of yours.”

Again, you snatched her wrist, this time removing the shears from her hand. You stared directly into her eyes as you pulled an entangled length of your hair taut, and began to cut the hair away, an inch from the scalp. You heard gasps in the background and Folly’s face appeared disgusted. When the handful of hair came loose in your grip, you smiled and held it out in front of her face like a trophy. You even smiled a little, like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. The feeling was exhilarating, to not care, to not bow down and give her the reaction you knew she had wanted. You let the strand fall to the floor, Folly taking a step back, not wanting it to touch her precious foot. You began sawing away at another length, and another, dropping them all in front of her. Frustrated that her little prank didn’t have the desired effect, she ground her teeth.

“You’re such a freak, you know that?! Maker, I can’t wait until I get out of here. It won’t be long and then I’ll be sitting on a throne while you're stuck rotting away here, or in the dirt where you belong.”

It was pretty common for orphaned kids to have extraordinary imaginations. Many had invented previous lives of grandeur, dreams of better lives or exotic existences. Bradley Dex had always claimed that his father was a rebel spy infiltrating the Empire. Zanda Fox said that her mother was a great scientist who identified the process of refining liquid metal fuel. Hera Lee said that she was orphaned after her parents died fighting in the Clone Wars- though you thought that one might actually be true. And Folly Langra, well she had long ago conjured up a story that she was actually a Princess from a forgotten system, placed here in hiding, until she was old enough to reclaim her rightful throne. The details of her story would morph over the years, changing, depending on who was asking or how much they probed- but most kids here knew the truth- that she never knew her father and her mother abandoned her and took off with her smuggler boyfriend- the most recent in a revolving door of men. A four year old simply didn’t fit into that lady's equation.

Despite most knowing the truth, nobody dared to ever confront her about it, including you. If kids wanted to create valid reasons for being abandoned, why take that from them? It was so much better than the truth, including your own.

I might be here because I killed my parents.

But in that moment, you were high on the power of confronting her, letting her know that she couldn’t break you. And in that moment, the words came out before you could stop them.

“You’re not a princess. Nobody is coming for you. Your mother left you, because she didn’t want you.”

The crowd of kids that had gathered around, broke out in cheers, clapping and hollering out. Hurt spliced through her features, her eyes welling with tears about to spill. She turned and strode away defeated. Kids gathered round, some clapping you on the back, others praising you for what they had “always wanted to do”. It felt like you might actually have friends after all, or at least the potential to find some. But the momentary celebration was quickly stamped out by guilt. Though Folly had deserved to be confronted, she didn’t deserve to be abandoned by her mother- no kid did, and throwing that in her face felt like a low blow. You didn’t like hurting people- didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Shears still in hand, you brushed past the shoulders of cheering kids and escaped to a private corner, to cut off the rest of your hair.

That night, you were one of the last to enter the eating hall for supper. You collected your tray and made your way over to the tables. The tables were lined up side by side in two rows and as it happened, Folly sat at the one on the left and Tuck sat at the one on the right. You were nervous for him to see you like this. After this morning’s incident- one he was sure to have heard through the rapid rumor mill that was an orphanage- you didn’t know if his offer to be your friend would still stand. Your words to Folly had been cruel and who would want a cruel friend? On top of that, you had sheared off the rest of your hair. After removing all of the damaged hair and every last remnant of the suggam, you had decided to do the rest of your hair as well, in an effort to at least keep it uniform. You worried now that the ending result only solidified Folly’s claims. As if she were thinking that very thought at that very moment, she uttered a single word upon sight of you.

“Freak.” she said, with bitter hatred.

“She’s not a freak.”

Tuck’s words had taken you completely by surprise. Your eyes began to water at the words of support- words that sounded sincere. He looked at you with a smile on his face and hope began to bloom. He still wanted to be your friend.

You smiled back and he returned the gesture and patted the seat next to him. This is why you had come back, this is what you were hoping for. You set down your tray and took the seat next to Tuck. You could feel his eyes on you, taking in your new appearance. You shyly looked up at him, knowing that he was getting a close up view of the hack job that was left on top of your head. You silently asked him with your eyes, how bad is it?

“You still look beautiful to me.”

Your lips fell open just a little as you processed his words.

He thinks I’m beautiful?

Whether he was just saying it to be a friend or whether he actually thought it, didn’t matter. Your cheeks flushed a little at the unexpected compliment.

“Thanks.” you said.

Hearing Tuck’s words crushed Folly. All her aggressions toward you had backfired. She stormed off, and you hoped that maybe this would be the end of it all.

Over the next few weeks, Folly had left you alone. No barbs, no pranks, no acknowledgement of any kind. She was content to go on as if you didn’t exist at all, and that was fine by you. You had a friend, someone who ‘got’ you, someone who was interested in you, someone who cared. When you weren’t doing your daily lessons or working off your extra chores, you were spending time with Tuck. You walked the grounds and showed him how you’d build traps and weave snares out of locally sourced materials. He taught you everything he knew about fishing and the two of you experimented with ways to make fishing poles and hooks. Gradually, you began to feel butterflies in your stomach whenever he was around. You were starting to feel a different way about your friend and wondered if he might be feeling that way too. Sometimes he gazed upon your face longer than seemed necessary. You often wondered what he was thinking in those moments, but didn’t have the guts to ask.

It had to be the middle of the night. The window filtered silvery rays of light from the twin moons lingering outside. The girl's ward was completely silent, save for a few hushed snores. A gentle hand shook your shoulder, rousing you from a peaceful sleep. When you blinked your eyes open, it was the object of all your recent dreams standing beside your bed.

“Tuck? What are you doing here? You're gonna get us in trouble if somebody sees you,” you whispered.

Biala Den might have had a soft spot for the charming young man, but getting caught in the girl’s ward, after hours, is something that would not be tolerated.

“I have a birthday surprise for you, there’s something you gotta see.” he whispered back, excitedly.

“It’s not my birthday until next week.”

“Early present.”

You leaned over the bunk to peer down at Folly. She was on her side, facing the wall, snoozing away. You bit your lip in hesitation, knowing that it would be extra chores for months if the two of you got caught sneaking out after hours.

“C’mon, I promise it will be worth it.” he said with a smile- a smile you couldn’t resist.

As quietly as you could, you climbed down from the top bunk. You took one last look to make sure that Folly was still out and turned to follow Tuck out of the door. Excitement coursed through your body, the butterflies in your stomach doing complete flips when Tuck took your hand in his, to lead you down the hall. The two of you were barefoot, which made it much easier to sneak down the hall past all of the caretaker’s quarters. You stuck to the shadows, padding along against the wall until you finally reached a back door through the kitchen, which led out to the grassy area behind the main dwelling. Even when you reached the safety of the yard, his hand remained locked tightly around yours.

“Ok, are you gonna tell me where we are going now?”

“You’ll see.”

You followed close behind as he led you across the dewy grass- your bare feet sliding across the wet surface, tickling with every step. You trusted Tuck, following him without hesitation. A hundred yards away, near the cliff’s edge, was a large water tank on thirty foot stilted legs. There was a ladder that went up to the top with a small platform and railing.

Tuck headed straight for the ladder and began to climb up.

“C’mon.” he said, half way up.

You smiled up at him and began to climb the rungs one by one.

Bestine was a planet mostly covered by water. It was made up of a series of forested islands that sprung up from the sea to form rugged island spires. The orphanage was situated near the edge of one, bordered by a cliff’s edge that dropped hundreds of feet below into crashing waves. You could hear their gentle call as they crashed against the cliff's edge hundreds of feet below.

The sea air left a slippery film of condensation on every surface at this time of the night.

“Careful!” Tuck shouted down, when your foot slipped on a rung. Luckily, you had a fierce grip with your hand, so you recovered quickly. After forty rungs were climbed, Tuck helped you up the last step until you were safely standing on the platform at the base of the water tower. You followed him around the curved edge to the backside, that looked out over the ocean. He took a seat at the edge of the platform, leaning his chest against the lowest bar of the railing, dangling his feet over the edge. You followed his example, taking up the same position near his side.

“Look.” he said, indicating the sky with his hand.

You watched in awe as dozens of radiating pinpricks of light streaked across the night sky.

“A meteor shower!?” you exclaimed, completely wonderstruck.

“Yeah, I knew you’d want to see it. You talked about the stars the same way my Grandpa would talk about the ocean.”

You smiled at his words. Tuck was a good person. He actually listened when you talked. He had once asked you what you’d do for fun when you were alone out in the woods. There wasn’t a lot of down time when you were working just to survive, but there were occasions when you’d make up little games to occupy your thoughts. Sometimes you’d lay on your little pallet in the woods, under a break in the canopy above and see how many stars you could count. They’d always intrigued you and you’d dreamed of maybe one day leaving Bestine behind to travel among the stars.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

The two of you stayed up on that platform, watching the meteors fall for some time. You rested your chin on your stacked hands on the railing and enjoyed nature’s show in the company of a friend. My best friend. Time passed and eventually, the falling stars became fewer and further between.

“Let’s run away.” Tuck said, breaking the silence.

“What!?”

“Let’s go, just you and me. We can do it together. We’ll live on our own. We can survive in the forest until I can get us a boat- then we’ll really be free.” He said with complete confidence.

You thought of the orphanage and how Tuck was really the only thing keeping you there. You knew how to survive and this time, you wouldn’t have to do it alone. You’d have a friend- maybe more at some point. Either way, he would be with you. Saying goodbye to that place one last time would be the easiest thing in the world if he was by your side.

“You sure that’s what you want?”

He looked at you like you were the sweetest, most naïve thing in the world, like something obvious was flying right over your head- like one of the dozens of meteors in the sky. He leaned in and surprised you with a kiss on the lips. His lips were soft, yet firmly pressed up against your own. He tilted his head slightly, placing a hand on your shoulder, letting his lips linger against yours for a long moment. Your heart was pounding in your chest. It was your first kiss ever and it felt like the best moment in your entire life. When he pulled away, there was a look on his face, like he felt the same way too.

“What do you say, you and me against the world? We could leave right now. I have all of our traps and equipment saved in a pack beyond the tree line. We can leave right now.”

You saw the hope in his eyes and your heart echoed a similar response.

“We should get our shoes first.” you said, thinking they’d be the only thing you’d want to retrieve from your bunk.

Your answer lit up his eyes. “Let’s go now.” he said, leaping up in eagerness. You followed him back around the platform, your brain running a million lightyears through your head, trying to process what was happening.

I'm leaving this place with my best friend.

Your foot slipped out when you tried to keep up with his hurried steps- the metal surface of the platform having gotten ten times slicker in the time that had passed since you’d first climbed up.

You started to warn Tuck to be careful, but he had already begun his descent down the ladder.

“Tuck, be carefu-” , your warning was lost beneath his strangled cry as his foot slipped out from the fifth rung. You reached a hand out over the rail, but he was already falling to the ground below. You screamed out when his back and skull made impact with the lower rungs on the way down. You turned away, your eyes squeezed shut, to avoid seeing his imminent landing. When you worked up the courage to look back over the rail, his body lay motionless on a bed of sea misted grass.

You climbed down the wet ladder with an iron grip, as fast as you could. You reached his body just as a set of flashlight beams illuminated the scene. Miss Biala Den stood across the field, Folly at her side.

“Can I see him?...Please?” you asked for the hundredth time that week.

“No, I’m afraid not. The headmaster won’t allow it.”

You sighed deeply, completely frustrated at the situation.

“At least tell me, is he getting any better?”

Miss Den grabbed you by the shoulder, pulling you into her private chambers.

When she closed the door and latched it, you breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she was finally going to talk to you, give you some kernel of information.

“Please, tell me. Did the bacta tank work?”

The heartbroken look on her face told you everything you needed to know. It hadn’t.

“I’m so sorry child. We left him in the tank for three solid days. I’m afraid that there have been no changes or improvements.”

“How can that be?”

“I know. But his injuries, I’m afraid they were just too severe.. His spinal cord was severed….”

“What does that mean?”

“We’re keeping him comfortable. He’s in a medically induced coma, for the time being.”

“Until when? Until what time? What are you saying?”

She took a deep breath. “ If he wakes, I’m afraid... he’ll be completely paralyzed.” She sighed deeply. “He’ll never walk again. I’m so sorry- I know he was your friend.”

Her words angered you.

“IS!....he Is my friend.” you said, storming out.

You lay in your bunk that night, tossing and turning. There had to be something more that you could do. Against Biala Den’s fierce opposition, you had already donated all of your sponsor funds to pay for a bacta tank. Turns out that your sponsor had sent way more money than you had been aware of and it had been compiling over the years. She had begged you to save it for a future that you couldn’t imagine at the moment. There’s little that she could do about it though as the sponsor’s instructions specifically expressed that the credits were to be used however you saw fit.

“Take it all, just get him that tank.” you had demanded. And now it seemed to have been for nothing.

You slid out of your covers and dropped to the floor. The ward was quiet as you snuck to the infirmary at the opposite end of the building. You pushed open the door to where they were keeping him. Your eyes watered when you saw all the scary tubes and wires running from his body to machines in the corner. One ran from his throat to a machine that pumped oxygen. He couldn’t even breathe on his own.

You sidled around the bed coming to stand at his side. You picked up his hand, holding it in your own.

“I’m sorry.” you said, tears rolling down your cheeks.

But there had to be something more that could be done. And then you knew. Knew with every fiber in your being that you could heal him. You didn’t know why or how, just knew that you could. You closed your eyes and imagined every warm feeling you had for this boy. Pictured that friendship and love like an illuminated ball of energy that resided in your gut. You pulled it out until it splintered into a thousand strands of light, like an invisible meteor shower raining out from your body. You directed every bit of that energy out and into him until all the lights in the room began to fade into total darkness.

You woke up three days later. Folly Langra stood beside your bed- the very bed that Tuck lay in the last time you saw him.

“What happened? Where’s Tuck? You began, in a panic.

“Gone.” she said.

“Gone? What do you mean, gone? Where is he? Is he ok?”

“Dead. Thanks to you.”

“No, that can’t be…” you said. “He was going to be ok, I know he was!”

“You killed him, didn’t you? I saw you sneak in here that night.”

“That night? What do you mean? How long have I been here?”

“Three nights ago, I saw you sneak in here, and after that, he was dead. You killed him.”

You shook your head ‘no’ in denial. That simply couldn’t be right. Tuck couldn’t be dead. Your chest began to ache, your heart pounding erratically. You stumbled out of bed, reaching for a trash can to hurl into. When the dry heaves subsided, you made your way to the sink to rinse your mouth and splash some water on your face. You stared at the reflection in the mirror above the sink, not recognizing the person that stared back.

“What did you do to him? What kind of monster are you?” Folly asked.

You stopped in front of her, pulling the i.v. out of your arm.

“I don’t know.” you said honestly.

She looked at you with fear in her eyes.

“This time,”- she said in a pleading tone- “don’t come back.”

You nodded and walked out the door for good.

PRESENT

“My scars,” he says, “every single one I’ve ever gotten- even the ones I got as a kid….they’re all…gone.”

I healed all of his scars?

Sure, the thought sounds all warm and fuzzy at first, but upon actually processing the words, your stomach instantly turns over. You leap up from your comfortable position laying on the floor bed, and race over to the fresher, tripping over Din’s armor and stubbing more toes in the dark along the way. When you make it to the little room, you toss up your last meal into the evac tube.

A moment later and the lights flicker on, and Din’s there holding out a glass of water. You happily take it, swishing the cool water around in your mouth several times before spitting it out into the sink. You repeat the process until there’s no water left and then refill the glass to drink from. Your brow beads with sweat as you lean against the sink.

“You O.K.?” he asks, his now modulated voice sounding worried.

You nod your head, opening your eyes to see that he has redressed in his clothes. He’s not wearing his armor, save for his helmet.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m O.K. now.” you reassure him.

“What was that about? “

How to answer? No big deal, I was just hurled back to a moment where I thought I killed my only friend and then it made me think of you and what might have happened if I had lost control again and killed you too.

You stall answering, by taking another deep pull on the glass of water.

“Could you be....Could we have?....” He hesitates, not able to form words to his thoughts.

It dawns on you what he’s suggesting.

“Oh no,” you shake your head” nothing like that.”

“How do you know?” he asks- and you swear you detected a grain of disappointment in his tone.

“It’s too early for that, and besides...I take precautions, get a shot once a year.”

“I see. What then?” he says, placing a bare hand to your forehead.

“I’m fine, really. It’s just, when you said your scars were all gone. I….it scared me.”

“You wanna go back to bed?”

“Not sure I can sleep now.”

“We don’t have to sleep. We can just lay there.”

“O.K.” you say reluctantly.

You climb back into the little floor bed, pulling the blanket up to your arms. Din once again turns out the lights and you hear the distinct sound of his helmet coming back off. He crawls into the bed beside you, unfortunately, fully clothed this time.

“Tell me.” he says after a few moments.

“I think...maybe I healed you.”

He’s silent for a moment before speaking again.

“Did you know you could do that?”

“Yes...and no.” you say, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands. “It’s complicated.”

“Explain it to me.”

You supposed you owed him the whole story. If you really had healed him, he deserves to know everything you did- which wasn’t much. But what if there are other side effects? Things you never considered when you did it? You tell him the whole story, the way your instinct had told you that you could heal that boy and how it had gone terribly wrong.

“For years, I’ve lived with guilt. His death was on my hands. But when I went back to retrieve my records, I learned things. Things I never knew.”

“What did you learn?”

You swallowed hard.

“According to the records, Tuck didn’t die, not the way I thought anyway. The record said that he walked out of there. Walked . As soon as news got out that there was a ‘miracle boy’ at the orphanage, he was quickly adopted. I never knew, I went my whole life thinking I killed him that night.”

“She told you that to get rid of you.”

You nodded. “likely so.”

Din pressed his chest up against your back, curling an arm over your chest. He listened so carefully, content to let you try and make sense of it all out loud.

“When I found you out there, dragged your body back...When you were out, not responding….I thought…” -your voice cracks on the words for a second. Din begins to pet your hair away from your face- “You were dead. I was so scared to try again, but...you were dead, so I had nothing left to lose. I had to try.”

“You saved me.”

“At what cost? I don’t know what I’ve done to you, and when you said all of your scars had disappeared, I realized that I have no idea what I was actually doing to you.”

“You got rid of my back pain too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for getting rid of my pain?” he says with a lighter tone to his voice.

“No. Not sorry for that part. But I’m sorry about the scars. You’re a warrior. Aren’t scars important? A badge of honor for every victory over the enemy?”

“Nobody but you would ever see them anyway.”

Nobody but me. You sigh.

“ I’ve never felt better, so don’t fret over the scars.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t know what I actually did to you.”

“We’re gonna find out together.” By finding a Jedi.

A few moments pass and you slowly relax into Din’s arms. When his breathing becomes slow and steady and just before you slip into sleep with him, you ask in a whispered breath, “Do you ever regret saving me?”

“Never. It’s what we do...save each other.”

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / All Chapters

A/N: comments, likes and reblogs always appreciated.

I have seen a lot of debate about what is a “true” reader insert vs. OC. The way I write In the Dark, it’s like this- I want the reader to be able to picture themselves in my story, so I try hard to be vague regarding the reader’s physical appearance (Skin color, eye color, weight etc.) I want you to see yourself in this world, but I want you to see yourselves as playing the role of this character. Obviously we don’t live in the Star Wars universe, so it’s near impossible to make this 100% immersive without having to imagine things out of the norm anyway. You have to remember, to immerse yourself, you need to be open to imagination. I want you to think of yourselves as ‘this character’. Therefore, she does have a backstory. It’s a necessary key to solving the mystery that I’ve been laying down since the beginning. Whether or not that’s a “true insert” or OC or a hybrid of both, I dunno- call it whatever you want.

Taglist: @mandosmistress, @eyeswidecovered, @michi-reads@cassiopeia, @thisshipwillsail316, @hillelsandwich, @spideysimpossiblegirl, @gallowsjoker, @javierpinme, @luxmundee, @literallydontlook, @icanbeyourjedi, @middlemichi

#din djarin x female oc #din djarin fanfic #mandalorian x reader insert #mandalorian fanfiction

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b0rista · 3 years

Text

— 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓! ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: only slightly suggestive, but mostly reader friendly. language!

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: literally, moblit needs more attention 🥺 i wish he had more of a character arc in the series, he really was interesting and likable like pls my CHILD

moblit berner x fem! reader.

❝︎ for all that you're yet to become, i love you. ❞︎

of course, moblit is still hange's main assistant. he's her second in command/her messenger, as always. you're her assistant in a more scientific sense. you provide aide during experiments, providing useful input while also putting your intellect to the test.

hange adores you with every fiber of her being. not only does she have a science buddy, but somebody who genuinely understands her field and all of the seven hour long stories that come with it! certainly, you aren't as overzealous as her, but you're able to actually converse with her over your shared projects. there aren't a lot of scientists— they need you, you were handed your position fairly quickly.

moblit's crush on you began,, immediately. quietly, he was relieved that he no longer had to suffer hange's hopeless antics alone. sure, he felt baD for you, but yay, a friend! and a pretty one, too.

there was a single moment where it was your very first day underneath her command, and right as you walked in, hange was literally braiding strands of titan hair she'd pulled from an experiment. from across the room, moblit locked eyes with you, and just mouthed,, "run away."

the two of you didn't start dating until a long while; work was miserable, and it took up far too much brain power for either of you to even think about romance.

then again, there were those moments,, you were extra concentrated, and moblit was staring at you. even when you didn't try, you were absolutely stunning.

^ cue hange asking him what the hell he's staring at, causing him to fLincH and start sweating profusely.

now, two people are screaming at their relentless commander whenever she does something heinously moronic. the iconic "HANGE-SAN" is now doubled, and it's just as great, tysm.

sometimes, when hange is getting a little too rambunctious, you literally have to bury your face in moblit's shoulder to spare yourself from having to waTch that bullshit. it's funny, he has one arm shielding your face while the other one swings around in hand gestures of pure distress.

"haNGE-SAN, YOU'RE SCARING Y/N-"

he claims that he stays late at the office because hange left him with extra work, but really, he just wants to be able to walk you home.

you arrived post sawney & bean, so he's the one that has to fill you in on that whole arc. it's,, funny.

"wait, wait. she cried whenever she had to preform physical experiments on them?"

"yeah."

thank you, y/n, for being sane. ❤️

as always, i'll leave the how you got together part up to you, because this post is meant to be centering more towards the relationship itself, but i imagine that it was both simple & really cute! moblit's a cutie, it was probably along the lines of an accidental confession.

the two of you tried keeping your relationship secret, for obvious reasons. it was a joint decision, settled for the sake of your safety. your boss is scary, mmk.

that being said, sneaking around is inevitable. i don't see moblit flat out enjoying having to sneak around, but it's definitely a little exciting, and it makes working at the office a bit more fun than he'd ever imagine.

when you're alone, and working, he likes to wrap his arms around you from behind, burying his face into the crook of your neck while you concentrate on whatever it is you're working on.

"as important as i'm sure this work is, maybe we should-"

"sorry, love. i can't leave until i'm finished."

cue a small nuzzle into your neck, "understood."

one night, you had to pull an all nighter at the workplace. despite you giving him the okay to head on home, moblit stayed with you, and the two of you crashed on the sofa. the following morning, hange practically fAinted at the sight of you, passed out on moblit's chest while his hand lay comfortably beneath your shirt, resting on the bare small of your back.

she screamed, which led to you screaming, which led to moblit bursting up, which led to the two of you bonking heads.

yeah, she hounded y'all for days.

"how long has this been a thing?"

"why didn't you TELL me?"

"do you not trust me?"

"if anything happened on that couch, i suggest you clean it up before levi arrives-"

"h A Ng E - sA N"

one time, the two of you had gotten a tad bit distracted and started making out on your desk. hange walked in, said something stuPid, and you literally biT your poor boyfriend's bottom lip. you felt awfuL, and promised to make it up to him later 😉

because you're only a scientist, it isn't often that you're out in the field. however, because there are times where you're needed outside of the walls, you're an occasional guest during missions/expeditions.

the first time you were requested somewhere while moblit and hange were sent elsewhere, he didn't like it at all.

had you held combative experience, he wouldn't be so worried. but, in all honesty, there aren't many people in the world that he genuinely trusts to keep you safe.

when you came back in one piece, he bombarded you with questions. did you get hurt? were you scared, did they keep you safe? were you ever, ever placed in harm's way?

mans was worried 🥺

whenever you join hange during live titan experiments, it's literally funny.

"be caRefuL-"

"y/n,,"

"Y/N-"

one time, you shot him a glare so devilishly stern, he fucking guLped. srry babe, do ur thing. you look sexy standing ontop of that titan's abdomen!

whenever you're angry, even when it isn't at him, he's literally so fucking terrified. like, he's scared.

however!! it became a thing where whenever you're frustrated, he knows to sit you down and tend to your joints. if your hair is up, he'll take it down, letting your scalp breathe. he'll rub your shoulders, all while quietly reassuring you. it's simple, but effective, and incredibly intimate.

he's already decided on the names of your future children. do you know this? fuck no, and you never will.

you move in together fairly quickly! because you want time together away from work, it was decided that you would move into moblit's place. not only do the two of you get ready together in the mornings, but you unwind together after hours. the two of you sleep on the sofa more than you do the bed— you're exhausted, and just fucking flop onto one another the moment you get home.

he's an amazing boyfriend, and your relationship is fun. 🥺

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot headcanons #aot scenario #shingeki no kyojin #moblit #moblit berner #moblit x reader #moblit berner x reader #hange zoe

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kaldurcalm · 3 years

Text

I've been meaning to do a black girls in webtoons reclist and I'm a little nervous about it because I'm white, but I haven't seen any comparable lists yet so. Here I go.

Note: this is based on the characters.

I haven't checked to see whether the authors are black or not because although that approach is well-meaning and has its own purpose (boosting black women who make comics), it can also lead to gatekeeping and invasive behavior on the part of fans.

The creators on the webtoons platform often use psuedonyms, so I usually don't go looking for more information than they provide.

My focus here is black girls and women who are treated well by the narrative, because I've seen from other posters that those are the kinds of stories that they would like to read.

With that in mind! I'm just going to go with the first one I see on my subscription list:

This is a superhero comic with a black female lead. She's the one who gets the gang together, and she comes from a society that has some interesting eyewear. (It's kind of a cultural thing.)

All of this is explained in the comic as a part of an ongoing plotline, and everyone's powers feel fresh and interesting.

Note: I do actually know that one of the creators is a black man! It's a team of people who seem pretty neat.

This one is probably suitable for most ages, but there's superhero violence and associated trauma sometimes. They get into social injustice as an ongoing theme for the entire comic, and the characters collectively decided to crash at the place of the richest guy on the team.

He is not thrilled about this.

I love this disaster trans girl.

Mal is a fan of a band called the Crawmamas, and her bff accidentally lands her a job as their social media manager. She is, unfortunately, head over heels for the dirty rat man guitarist.

This comic is going to have themes that are considered adult, like drinking and smoking and sexytimes.

Mal's mom doesn't approve of her wrist tattoo, but she's supportive of "her baby girl" and the other characters either don't know or are supportive (so far).

(I can't vouch for how the narrative will handle things in the future, but she's touring with a tits out type of rock band some of the crew members are gay. I'm not worried about the way the story will handle it.

Even if almost every single character is a disaster human. Help them.)

It's the story of Shahrazad! I read The Shadow Spinner when I was a kid, but not the original story, so I've never seen it like this before.

If you're not familiar: the main character is forcibly married to the rule of her kingdom.

Or, well, she volunteers for the forced marriage process so that she can get revenge on him for killing her best friend.

Along the way, she unveils a curse, and sets about trying to unravel it.

There's violence in this story, but I don't think it's super graphic. It's only a feel-good story if you're into clever, booksmart women who learn to fight injustice in their own ways.

(If you don't like the idea of her catching feelings for the caliph, this story might not be for you.)

If I were to narrow this list down to just soft love stories, this comic would be included. (Gonna be honest: I almost didn't read the whole thing because of the art style, but I'm so glad I did.)

Yani is a short, chubby black girl, and Cage is the tallest, biggest guy in highschool.

... unfortunately this means that she's scared of him at first.

The feeling isn't mutual at all: he saw on stage in a school play and immediately became 100% more interested in Shakespeare.

When their teacher sets him up to tutor her (it's not a romantic thing), he's stoked and she finds out that mostly? He's just shy.

This comic talks about sex in an informative way in the later chapters, and Yani's friends help her overcome a phobia that she's embarrassed to tell people about.

Overall, it's really sweet and wholesome. And it's pretty much completed, so no surprises here!

This is one of my favorite comics of all time, I think.

Ray is a college-age lady who's struggling to figure out her career path--as a seer in a world where you can bake magic into food.

She likes to go to her favorite bakery once a week to have a slice of romance. (Not sure if the romance is in the jam, the bread, or both, but it looks really pretty.)

She seems to have a crush on the lady who owns the bakery (who is also a black woman and happens to be a happily married lesbian), and she helps her love interest overcome his fear of (broomstick) flying (which is similar to driving in this universe-- you have to get a license.)

This one should be safe for all ages, I think! It's one of the softest, sweetest comics I've ever read.

So the actual main character in this comic is basically black gay batman in a purple devil suit, but I'm recommending it because it has two women of color as main characters in the first two seasons.

If you want a smooth recap of the entire thing, read the latest update. Here's the short version:

Honoria Crabb is a hard-nosed cop, until she sees that the entire city is corrupt and and the police force isn't what she'd hoped it would be. She's basically tying the story together right now--you might see what I mean if you click the last link.

Theresa Ferrier is a famous detective, the line of Sherlock Holmes. I say this not because of her personality, but because has a best-selling series about her adventures and has a comparable reputation in this universe.

She's also bald, uses a cane, and is married to the love of her life--Margeurite, a famous painter with a rare brain disease. (Margeurite can't see very well, uses a wheelchair, and is usually carrying her beloved bulldog. )

Theresa basically comes out of retirement to help fund her wife's treatment, and by the end of the second season she retreats so that she can devote herself to her care.

It doesn't even feel like the author is sidelining her or anything--she's influenced the other characters a great deal, and she just wants to care for her wife and be happy.

Overall, you'll like this comic if you like detective stories and masked vigilantes. There's violence and blood, and associated trauma.

I love this comic so much, and I'm a person who tries to stay away from zombies as much as possible.

...let me just show you the main cast:

Spoiler: there's healthy polyamory at the end.

...not with all of them. Two of them in this picture are involved, though, and one of them is black.

(The coach is also black. He gets bitten by the first zombie they see, so the girls have to take care of him. They do a decent job of it.)

I'm not sure how much more I can say without spoiling it because I get too excited. Ya got your jock black girl and your soft cute black girl on the same highschool basketball team, though, so that's why it made this list.

This comic is hilarious and it feels like a slice of life in spite of the fact that it's set during a zombie apocalypse. 10/10 would recommend.

(I also highly recommend the author's other work, which is more graphic and uses more colors in its palette, but that one centers a gay couple. There's some great black ladies in it but they're not the focal point, so I'm just going to mention it as an aside.

You can find it by clicking on the comic description and scrolling to the bottom.)

So the main character starts out a bike messenger. The best damn bike messenger in town.

This is how she becomes a bike messenger for the gods.

It's all very dramatic, and the new job comes with a teleporting magic vending machine for helpful bike parts that help her navigate the godly realm.

Her best friend is another black lady, who works with books and is a badass in her own right, and Dare herself is definitely not straight.

This comic is completed and everything ends well! Dare gets a satisfying love life with another woman and the world is no longer ending.

This comic is sweet, so I'm going to include it, but I don't think it's ever going to be finished.

Ola and her family are illegal immigrants. This comic is a slice of life about her trying to navigate highschool without exposing her family.

The overall tone is pretty light, but I'd you have any experience with that then if might make you nervous.

I don't want to pick favorites, but this one's my favorite.

In a world where you can modify your body the same way we can currently mod videogames, our main character notices another girl who takes the subway because she doesn't use any mods at all.

It's because she has a chronic illness, so she uses technology that others consider outdated (that seems futuristic to us) to help her navigate the world.

She's not in pain all the time, but she has to be careful. Certain types of technology in their world can affect her very badly, so she has to avoid them the same way you'd avoid allergens.

The main character changes her look frequently, but she's always shown as black and, towards the end of the comic, she shares a conversation she had with her mother as a child about the importance of her natural features.

This is an interracial relationship, and the love interest is a white hispanic. She has two dads, and the main character has a mom, a dad, and her mom and dad's partner.

...I'm not super clear on their relationship as it is in the comic but the creator confirmed that they're in a polycule.

This is the kind of comic that makes you feel like you light up inside as you read it. It should be safe for most ages, I think the most adult things in it are job opportunities and kissing. (I'm going off memory, here. I'm doin my best.)

The author also has another comic about a college age magic user who bulldozes her way into an apprenticeship because she's determined to not let her magical form of dyslexia get in the way of her life plans.

(She can't read the spell books at all, so makes herself seeing eye familiar out of what looks like a floppy stuffed animal and a ritual.

The ritual itself isn't clear yet.)

The main character isn't black herself, so I'm not including it as its own entry, but her mentor is black. She's a sweet lady with an adopted son, anxiety, and an understanding girlfriend.

This one doesn't have a final ending because the author came up against a pretty heavy duty mental block, but it did end on a series finale and although it's bittersweet, I think it's pretty good.

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