Chaggie AU where Vaggie is a member of a holy order devoted to slaying monsters. As part of her becoming a holy knight, she must commune with an Angel to be granted their divine power... only something goes wrong with the ritual, and the being that appears before her is none other than the Princess of Hell.
Lute: “Gay?! She’s supposed to be HOLY!”
Adam: “Yeah, hot.”
Lute: “…let. Me. See. That. SuMMOnINg sCRiPTuRE.”
Adam: “Sure thing dude. Here.”
Lute: “This isn’t a holy rite, this is… WRITINGS OF SAPPHO!”
Adam: "Heh, heathen and homoerotic. WLWhoops?"
-
Charlie: “You should really be more careful next time!"
Vaggie: "Uh."
Charlie: "Lot’s of other demons would be thrilled to get yanked into the mortal world without a circle of binding to hold them- especially by someone as cute as you-
Vaggie: "Excuse me?"
Charlie: "And when I say thrilled, I mean in the blood and guts and screaming kinda way, NOT just in the 'can feel hellfire in my cheeks' kinda way. Safe summoning is important!!”
Vaggie: “Why’re you drawing the circle in yourself, then. With your… claws.”
Charlie: “Because you didn’t?” (dusts fire off her hands) “Anyway you should be good now, ask me anything!”
Vaggie: “You’re seriously not taking advantage of being summoned but not bound?"
Charlie: "I'm taking advantage of the view!"
Charlie: (beat)
Charlie: "Of the, mortal world, I am enjoying the pretty scenery."
Vaggie: "It's dark."
Charlie: "I'm enjoying the beautiful knight. Night. Night without a 'K'. Not knight like YOU'RE a knight, not that you aren't beautiful-"
Vaggie: "I'm. What."
Charlie: "The one who should be talking now! Not me. I think I've done enough talking for now. I think I'm good on having said stuff recently. I think I should be quiet for a bit."
Vaggie: (gay) (not immune to adorable ladies) "WHY are you here. You're not, what I expected."
Charlie: “I'm not the usual demon- As hell princess I get first dibs on all summons! After dad anyway.”
Vaggie: (of COURSE she's a princess) “Why answer this one.”
Charlie: “You’re missing an eye? It looks painful?"
Vaggie: "...so?
Charlie: "?? I thought maybe you wanted help with that.”
Vaggie: "It's a penance. You can't help with it."
Charlie: "oh."
Vaggie: “...That’s it? You're not here for anything else?”
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “You um. You look very cool in that armor.” (cringes) “Awesome.” (cringes more)
Vaggie: “Are you a siren or a succubus or something.”
Charlie: “What!? No! No I’m just, I just think girls are hot! Cool! You look great!! …girls all look great, and you’re a girl, and you…”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “Do you need any demons slayed?”
Charlie: “Ahaa, no.”
Vaggie: “Holy quests completed?”
Charlie: “No?”
Vaggie: “Are you gonna eat me.”
Charlie: “N-not on the first date- I- OH YOU MEAN ACTUALLY-? No no no! I don’t, I’m, I don’t eat souls. Or people.”
Vaggie: “So what’s the catch here. The price.”
Charlie: “Nothing. I just wanted to help.”
Charlie: “Okay and maaaaybe have a nice conversation for once. Kinda short on them in hell.”
Vaggie: “… is there ANYTHING I can help you with?”
Charlie: “Well I just broke up with-”
Vaggie: “I’ll kill them.”
Charlie: “-and I could really use a date for the ball, I mean! No killing needed!! Dad isn’t going again, mom’s um, busy. And it’ll be a lot less awkward if I already have a dance partner, you know?”
Vaggie: “You want me to find you a dance partner.”
Charlie: “Oh no I, I was hoping- do YOU dance?”
Vaggie: "Me."
Charlie: "If you want to?"
Vaggie: “You’re asking me to go to hell.”
Charlie: “Shit. Right, dumb idea. It’s my home but, yeah. It’s not like anyone enjoys being here.”
Vaggie: (fuck she's cute) (fuck she's SAD)
Vaggie: “No one does? What about you?”
Charlie: “I… just wish the people would be nicer. A place is the people who live there, right?”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “I’ll come.”
Charlie: “You wha?”
Vaggie: “I’ll come to the dance.”
Charlie: "But- hell! Why-"
Vaggie: "Hell’s a better place than I thought."
Charlie: "You've never even BEEN here!"
Vaggie: "I've met you."
Charlie: ".... I'm not... the usual demon."
Vaggie: "I'll take my chances. I'll need to borrow a dress though. All I have up here is, armor."
Charlie: "I can, I can change that. A dress. N- no problem."
Vaggie: "It's a deal then." (holds out hand) "A dance for a dress?"
Charlie: (takes her hand and shakes it eagerly while bowing) "ITS A DATE!"
Vaggie: (chuckles) "Yeah, I guess that's a better word for it."
Charlie: "And I PROMISE when we dance I WON'T trample your toes with my hooves!"
Vaggie: "... should I just keep the sabatons on?"
Charlie: "I promise to find you a dress that goes good with your armored shoes so your toes don't get trampled on."
Vaggie: "We're gonna be quite the pair, aren't we."
Charlie: "Heheh~"
-
Lute: "WHAT HAPPENED WHY WAS THERE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE INSTEAD OF HOLY LIGHT WHY WERE YOU COMMUNING WITH A FIEND SO LONG IS IT DEAD DID YOU KILL IT???"
Vaggie: "Does taking her heart count?"
Adam: "Whoooo VaGEEE! Totally FUCKED that demon huh!!"
Vaggie: "Mm, not totally sir."
Vaggie: (smiling) (softly to herself) "Not on the first date."
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If anyone wants to know why the kingdom hearts fandom has a lot of bad takes and everything in that regard just know it's all kh2's fault
Kh2 is the reason why everyone thinks the disney worlds are filler, why people think Sora "fell off" after kh2, why people think the series is just cool anime stuff but with disney characters, and why people think Kairi still has relevance all cause she has a keyblade (/hj about the Kairi point but also not really)
The games that came after kh2 aren't held in as high of a regard cause everyone expected the future games to be like kh2 when they're very clearly not. Most of the kh3 criticism I saw basically boiled down to "this should have happened like it did in kh2"
Every game after kh2 is doomed to be compared to kh2 like how every final fantasy game after ff7 is doomed to be compared to ff7 cause of how it popped off the way it did
Imo kh2 more or less essentially ruined everyone's perception of what kh is and is also one of the biggest examples of showing the dissonance between what the fans want to see vs the story Nomura wants to tell and that dissonance gets stronger with each game
Kh2 was the turning point in the series that basically told everyone that the story wasn't going the way they think it would go and it completely went over everyone's heads and I think that needs to be talked about
Anyway moral of the story is stop skipping kh cutscenes. That's why y'all confused and why y'all don't know things. If I see any kh4 criticism that sounds like "it should be like kh2" I'll bitchslap you to the moon I've had enough of the comparisons
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