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hexasart · 3 months

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57, 43, 35, 32, 22, 14, 12, 10, 7, 3, 2 Matthias. Give me ur secrets gayboy

well FUCK OKAY

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

It's a bit of a tossup, honestly. Matthias _wants_ to have friends, wants to make friends, but his anxieties and trauma make it so difficult to get close to or trust people. He's getting better, with time, and if he has someone with him to help ease his agoraphobia, he's more open to new people, but generally right now he's in "Polite but Nervous" territory, and people are Scary.

Suffice to say: He's a little strict, but it's a matter of getting him to relax and not be scared.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

Matthias is a very open book with his emotions or facial expressions. Not because he chooses to be, but because he's incapable of actually hiding or lying. It's something he actually wishes he were better at hiding, because if he's bothered by anything it's immediately apparent. Something something, he'd like to feel he's able to keep his privacy, but he can't.

7. What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

UNfortunately Matthias is very simple. He hears his name and you immediately have his attention. I just gotta shout Matthias. Friends and others can also shout 'Tias'.

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

Oh my god this is tough. Right now, immediately, it isn't really anything. Still figuring out his interests and hobbies, himself, and then actually getting comfortable enough to share? Difficult.

He DOES eventually get really, really excited about historical paintings and texts. Specifically books, restorations, obscure copies and prints of books. NOt that he necessarily collects them (for....obvious Thrall reasons), but that he enjoys studying them, exmanining them, getting to pick them apart and put them back together carefully to make them last for a little longer.

He and Memoir get along great there :>

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

I was about to say I don't know but then I realized after The Chop, whenever Decimal does step into Network and the house messes with him? Matthias does, in fact, find it a little amusing. (Because he can tell Decimal isn't bothered by it) And I can only assume Network, upon realizing it makes Matthias-so-Curious laugh? She's going to amp up the shenanigans tenfold.

14. How do they put out a candle?

Three fingers to snuff the flame. He wears gloves so the heat is gone before it burns. Though, even without gloves he'd still do this.

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Go outside.

Matthias has a rather severe case of agoraphobia, turns out. It's greatly lessened when he's with someone, and with both Decimal and Hugh making a point to pull him out of Network once a week to walk around town, he is getting a better handle on it, and seeing the entirety of Halloweentown as a safe place/home-like.

Going to Requiem was an *extreme* test of his nerves, initially. Because of that fear- but then he entered the city and it just. It was SAFE. It felt like HOME. And his phobia couldn't grip him like it did in the town. But hoo boy getting there was. A time for him.

32. If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

is biting someone a petty crime.

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

Hell that's a tough one. Unsure, honestly. Matthias tries very hard to be a Good Bean.

Prrrrrrrobably choosing to put trust in Decimal, lbr.

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Gifts do not require repayment. There is no ulterior motive or reason. And the gift is yours to keep.

It's a mentality he's working to break, but there's a key point he's gotta hit to do that. But learning that people give without expecting something in return is something that still throws him for a loop. Because Keays always expected something of him.

57. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

Writing! He has some of the muscle memory of being able to write, but between a bad dominant hand and lack of practice for two years, he's actually kind of Bad At It. He's getting better, and learning to use his left hand, but for a time his writing is gonna be illegible.

#poke hex #whirlwindwonderland #matthias oleande

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drummergirl231 · 3 years

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Hey DG! Been following ur blog for a year now, and i love your positive support to this fandom :)

Do you think Apritello in 2012 was in any way abusive/toxic looking back not that the show is over?

I don’t think this myself at all, i just wanted to know your opinion on this claim because i trust your judgement.

Oh wow, thank you so much! Sorry I’m not really active on this blog anymore (though I’m still around and still compulsively check it lol). But I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my past posts! (My apologies for my lack of gifs in this post; my Apritello gifs aren't on this computer.) As for Apriltello being toxic or abusive, I wouldn’t label it as such. They certainly had their moments where each of them said or did the wrong thing, but they’re teenagers who have no idea what they’re doing, romantically or in life in general. But they learn and grow as individuals over the course of the show, and in doing so, they grow closer together.

Let’s start with Donnie. One of the major complaints I’d hear about him was that he once kinda wound up stalking April back in Season 2, which we all agree wasn’t healthy for either of them.

Now, disclaimer/PSA: Ladies, if a guy is following you around without your consent, do not try to rationalize it. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s head in real life. If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, don’t gaslight yourself, or try to justify his behavior, or try to see it from his perspective (which you can’t be sure of anyway). Just get away and stay safe.

With Donnie, he’s a fictional character, so we, the audience, did get to see things from his perspective, and he wasn’t following her with creepy intentions. He wanted to talk to her and patch things up, but he wasn’t totally sure how to approach her, and used that time hopping from rooftop to rooftop trying to figure that out. What he should’ve done is figure that out from home while giving her space. But he’s a teenager who grew up in isolation from the world, not even watching as much TV as his brothers, and he's learning how to socialize for the first time. It doesn’t make his behavior correct, but it makes it easy to forgive so long as he learns and grows from it, which he did. Besides, there was an alien race after April. Keeping an eye on her wasn’t a completely terrible idea. He should’ve just gone about it differently.

Another complaint I’d hear about Donnie was that he still wanted to protect her, even after she’d learned to fight and control her powers, like in her fight with Shinigami, for example. To which I offered the counter-argument: what kind of jerk would Donnie be if he just stood there and didn’t care that the woman he supposedly loves was getting her butt handed to her? The writers needed to show Donnie distressed over April being hurt, but they also needed to have Raph hold him back, because it really was April’s fight. His desire to protect her wasn’t because he thought she was weak or incapable. It was simply because he loves her and hates to see her hurt. A third complaint I’d hear against Donnie was that his feelings persisted a long time. One blogger even referred to Mikey’s crushes on multiple girls as the most “realistic,” out of the turtles’ romances. It may be more relatable to that particular blogger, but it’s not unrealistic to have feelings for one person that persist a long time. I had a huge crush on a guy friend from 5th grade through 10th grade, and that crush resurfaced briefly during my senior year. Some feelings can’t be switched off at will, so what matters is how you handle those feelings while you have them. And while Donnie didn’t always know the best way to handle them, he was a teenager, perfectly entitled to his mistakes, and not toxic or abusive towards April.

Now it’s April’s turn. This teenage girl lost her mom under mysterious circumstances at a young age, then lost her dad (multiple times throughout the series) to an alien race that was ultimately after her so they could terraform the planet. She lived alone a lot of the time, and still had high school, extracurricular activities, and massive secrets to keep. That’s a lot for a minor to deal with. Now add having a big mutant turtle friend awkwardly crushing on you. Would any of us have known how to handle that at that age? Most of us didn’t even know how to handle crushes on fellow humans at that age. For much of the show’s earlier seasons, Donnie’s flirtations and near-confessions came at times when April was up to her eyeballs in chaos she didn’t know how to handle.

She got a lot of crud from fans in particular for kissing Donnie right after he’d told her he understood he was making her uncomfortable and he’d back off, especially because Donnie said after the kiss he understood nothing and he was even more confused than before.

As a fan, I love the kiss. As a grown-up, I gotta say it wasn’t the best decision she could’ve made in that moment. Actions may speak louder than words, but for someone like Donnie, words would’ve been a lot easier to understand. I think what went on in this scene was that April finally realized she did have feelings for Donnie. She wasn’t ready for a relationship with everything going on, but she didn’t want Donnie to give up on her just yet. At the start of the next episode, a still-confuzzled Donnie tried showing off in front of her again (“Check me out, April!”) and she ignored him and walked right on past, further confusing Donnie and irritating the fans. But I think April was trying to overcorrect. Maybe even she thought the kiss was going a little too far, and she was trying to make sure Donnie knew she didn’t want a relationship yet. April’s biggest crime as far as Apritello goes was just not verbally communicating with Donnie. She was young and it was a weird situation and she didn’t know how to handle it.

But after that moment, things did change between them. They really started getting closer as friends, which became a wonderful foundation for them. Donnie started to relax around her a little more, which helped her relax around him, and her feelings were allowed to develop without pressure. They care about each other, protect each other, fight for each other, and respect each other. Things were awkward between them at first, and they did inadvertently hurt each other here and there, but they just needed to grow up a little. I mean personally I don’t think anyone should even date before their prefrontal cortex reaches maturity at age 25, but I don’t think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could ever go on that long. lol

#apritello #long post #tmnt 2012 #tmnt donnie #tmnt april

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dathen · 3 years

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idk what tma discourse ur responding to but for me i personally like allo martin. As an ace person i find the idea of an allo person learning abt asexual identities and discussing boundaries and still being w the person as quite comforting. For a long time I thought that in a way I couldn't be w an allo person bc it couldn't work out, which isn't true.

I like asexual martin as well but my point is, to let people headcannon the character's sexualities? tma is delightfully queer in a vague way and people can explore that queerness in a miriad of ways.

That's just my opinion though! Enjoy your day

If you think I’m looking down on people’s right to hc Martin as allo, you must have not been reading any of my posts. In fact, you really should examine your reaction of seeing someone *celebrating an ace headcanon* when it’s being attacked, and taking it as some sort of attack on your own. I didn’t think this was a distinction I had to make since I haven’t said anything against allosexual Martin or anyone’s right to see him that way, other than saying it’s not canon and not some sort of default we’re bound to.

I also like allo Martin headcanons. I find worth in a LOT of interpretations of Martin, and actively seek out all kinds: ace Martin is wonderful because I get to see a lot of myself reflected in a character I love and who shares a lot of other life experiences with me, plus it allows me to enjoy Jon/Martin without centering an allo perspective. Allo Martin with sex averse Jon is great because it runs against the old aphobic discourse that ace people can’t be in a relationship with allo people, and that it’s “abusing” the allo partner to be in a sex-free relationship. Sex-interested Martin in a polyship with sex-averse Jon and another sex-interested partner is great because polyships are wonderful and that kind of set-up is often wish fulfillment. Lonely, inexperienced Martin is valuable because it allows exploration of a very real type of adult life we never see in media outside of mockery, rather than treating a robust social and sex life as the default. ‘Everyone has a crush on Martin and he’s the most desired man on this block’ headcanons are great because that’s a rare portrayal for fat characters, and everyone SHOULD have a crush on Martin if they have any TASTE--.

(Hell, the latter two are interchangeable for Jon and Martin for me--I love “everyone has a crush on Jon” with him as an asexual, heavily nd-coded character, but ‘Jon is lonely and isolated and his relationship with Martin is a rare exception’ is closer to canon themes and has so much value on its own.)

That’s the thing that’s exhausting about this kind of headcanon policing; people latch onto their favorite and find worth in it, but then insist all other kinds have no worth and can only have bigoted, hateful motivations. Ace Martin must be because you’re trying to desexualize fat people, or think that ace people can only be in relationships with other ace people! Polyship Jonmartin must be because you think Jon’s not good enough by himself! Allo Martin with sex-averse Jon must mean you’re homophobic and against gay sex (this take didn’t come from ace Martin fans, but from aphobic fans attacking the writers of the show as “cowards for desexualizing a gay relationship by making Jon ace”)!

There are pitfalls to writing all of the above, which should be addressed on their own with nuance and research rather than projecting ultimate bad faith and banning the entire category as Wrong. People take their own reasons for not enjoying a dynamic (fandom used to call them “squicks”) and project that onto the author as a bad motivation, and then rampage against it like it’s Problematic and needs to be stamped out.

Being told that Martin IS ALLOSEXUAL and ABSOLUTELY FUCKS and is TOO HOT AND COOL to possibly be sexually inexperienced? That having an ace headcanon for him is demeaning and dehumanizing, fatphobic and homophobic, and we need to “examine our biases” if we inflict it on him? That’s just plain old acephobia on top of obnoxious headcanon policing. Allo Martin is by far the most prevalent headcanon in the fandom--ace Martin is a tiny niche that only recently has gotten any attention, and most ace Martin works are by authors who normally write allo Martin. Anyone who’s even glimpsed into the nsfw side of the fandom should immediately know how popular sexually active allo Martin is there. Fics that explore Jon’s asexuality almost 100% do so with Martin as the allo partner, who is so much more experienced and knowledgeable that he often teaches Jon what asexuality is.*

(*Which is becoming a bit of a squick of my own, because the prevalence of that + Jon learning from Georgie can feel very infantilizing towards Jon, and a lot of it is written as it being impossible for him to have found out on his own because he’s too incapable. But I’m not going to look down on the entire category beyond just encouraging caution and nuance because I know a lot of those stories come from the angle of “I wish I had someone who told me so I’m going to write about that.”)

This is a long post but it applies to a lot more than just the ace/inexperienced Martin interpretation. People need to be willing to just say “this isn’t for me, I don’t like this angle” and just learn to close out of the fic and just go find another one that appeals to them more.

#tma #the magnus archives #discourse #acephobia cw #aphobia cw #koa-bean

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beastsars · 4 years

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hi can u do a hc of legoshi as ur bf? sorry for the trouble 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 btw i love ur writing

i rambled a lot but i came through with more legoshi content. amen. cut for length not content.

—he can be rather awkward with his affections at times, though not always intentional. sometimes he just doesn’t know when is the best time to reach out for your hand. or when his desire to be near is reciprocated. legoshi has just always been mindful of his nature so it’s a difficult habit to break. therefore it’s generally your responsibility to take initiative or at the very least help him get to a point where he’s comfortable slugging his arm casually over your shoulder or waist while in public.

— rather enjoys drawing you close after a long day and snuggling up against whatever surface the two of you collapse against. will absolutely melt into you when you scratch your fingers under the shell of his ears or the sensitive area above his tail. not above letting his leg kick subconsciously at the sensation. he’ll hum this low growling purr at the back of his throat creating a comforting rumble to help you lull off to sleep

— this pup is an absolute sucker for your smile. whether it’s directed at him or just gracing your face in general, he swears the shine of it could light the world. which often ignites his possessive and protective instincts in order to ensure that nothing threatens your happiness or safety. it’s one of the few times he’s grateful for a massive body and fearsome appearance. anyone who dares ill intentions towards you will often think twice about challenging him. nothing makes you feel more at home than his strong grip curling you into a comforting embrace and shrouding you away with his form.

— i’ll fight anyone who doesn’t think this man isn’t a great kisser can fight me out back in the darkest alleys of small garden street. he applies just the right amount of pressure and knows how to utilize his tongue to guard the sharpest points of his teeth. every intimate session will leave you breathless from the merticulous slow molding of his lips. he likes to hold you close, hands wandering with your consents. make him super happy by sitting in his lap, arms around his neck. love love loves when you play with his ears, letting them flicker this way and that. pup has some restraint but if you’re interested in testing it, while just right pitch and catch him scrambling.

— he appears to be obtuse but is rather sensitive to the most subtle changes in your moods. often relying on scent to catch the slightest hint of your tears. even if you tried to brush them away, he can still smell the salty aftertaste. its an oddly tender gesture to have his claws so close to your vulnerable face as he brushes away the wetness, cupping your cheeks and nuzzling his muzzle against yours. he will no doubt hunt down whoever put you in such a state, breaking his typical docile state in order to deter them from ever approaching you again.

— dates are pretty casual. often just relaxing strolls through the city or around the park. neither of you can resist stopping by your favorite cafe where you’re known as regulars. at times you both surprise each other with impromptu dates, where it be a new movie or down to earth bar scene that premiering a favorite band. more often than not, the best dates are from the comfort of the couch after a nice meal. you make small bets on who gets to pick the movie or next binge special before amicable deciding to probably watch both anyway. neither of you really sweat the small details, just enjoying the company of one other is enough.

— this sweet boy has a love language of giving. from buying you your favorite sweets without prompting to showing up unannounced with dinner and a movie. it speaks volumes of his observation skills. he can tell when your gaze lingers too long at a storefront when you think he isn’t paying attention. of course he doesn’t do any of this with the exception of it being reciprocated, but man do you make his heart race when you surprise him for once with something of his tastes. he’ll appear to be shy and embarrassed when you randomly interrupt drama practice just to bring him a snack, remarking how he’s been working so hard. all the other members can’t help but giggle quietly to themselves as legoshi accepts the grocery bag of food sheepishly, his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck. even louis can’t help but snort humorously at the affection.

— please don’t test this puppy’s ability to get jealous, it’s not worth the trouble or the shame he’ll feel if he acts out prematurely just because you wanted a reaction. as mentioned, he can get very protective of what he deems his and will become rather reserved and guarded of your person. he’s not always on high alert, like some alpha incapable of letting anyone near his mate. but if he notices that someone just can’t seem to get the hint, he’ll be noticeable upset. torn between action on his emotions and respecting your ability to respect the relationship on your own. his tail will hang a little lower, ears flat with a dirty look in his eye every time that individual gets near. literally all you have to do is reach over to tangle your fingers together and lean into his side and that tail will perk up in no time.

— somewhere around the fifth or sixth month into your relationship he’ll come to the realization that he’s utterly in love with you. it’ll probably be early in the morning and you’re sliding back in bed after a quick trip to the restroom. you’re wearing the first thing you came across which happens to he his shirt that fits your body just right. and that smile, that damn smile attracts the sun as you rub your eyes sleepily. he thinks he kept it to himself, a quiet thought that he planned to spend the remained of the day meditating on. but then your grin is spreading impossibility wide, eyes losing sleep as you repeat the words back. the thump of his heart is so audible as he gathers you close as you both tumble head first into the next stage of your relationship.

#legoshi x reader #legoshi beaststars #beastars x reader #beastars headcanons #Anonymous

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musashi · 3 years

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sending u this ask as an opportunity for u to talk to me abt fi!! i love ur thoughts n words on things nd i don't send asks as much bc i don't have. good words to talk to u abt stuff but i rlly enjoy just. ur Passion nd stuff. autistic people r the best at talking abt stuff i stand by that we r just Epic. anyways if u wanna, i'd love to hear more about just... how fi sorta. changes, over the game? like the Little Things that show her starting 2 care abt link more, or becoming more "human"!

i love this whole ask. you’re right autistic folks r sexy as hell idk how the divine powers that be fit so much passion into my tiny body but i’m glad they made the attempt.

ANYWAYS FI. i don’t think i’ve ever actually laid this out because for the most part it is incredibly subtle and requires a lot of filling in gaps yourself, and i think that someone who cares less abt her can probably come away from it with an entirely different interpretation. fi’s development of actual feelings are a very sudden a mysterious thing, and i have a LOT of thoughts about them going in a lot of different directions so forgive me if this answer isn’t particularly linear or coherent. i’m not just gonna talk about her slow burn into feeling things, i’m also gonna talk about... why i think it happens.

we don’t get to learn a lot about sword spirits and how they come into being, other than it takes great power to enchant a sword with a spirit/temper a sword with one inside it. hylia obviously created fi and, presumably, demise created ghirahim, and they are pretty much as opposite as two people can be with their only real characteristic in common being precision, intelligence & otherworldly loyalty to their respective masters.

we thus don’t get to learn how much control the creator of a sword spirit has over what kind of spirit comes of it, if their personalities are organic to their experiences or crafted from the moment they awaken. what i mean by this is like... ghirahim could have been a cold, calculating AI like fi when he was first tempered and gained his dramatics over time, we have no idea how long he’s been alive in comparison to her, if his personality is so much more extroverted because he was allowed a life outside his blade whereas fi was isolated in hers for millennia. or if he just came into creation immediately ready to scream and stick his tongue in ppl’s ears.

i swear to god i’m going somewhere with this. ok. anyways.

fi in the beginning of skyward sword is, i think, how most people remember her--data-interested, icy, and detached. there is a reverence in how she addresses link from the start, even before he formally becomes her wielder, but beyond that she is calculating and precise and rarely wastes words. all of this kinda paints a picture of hylia creating fi, to me--breathing life into the spirit and willing her to be effective, be efficient, be loyal, and be sharp. when you have that image in your head, a lot of how fi operates makes sense--she wasn’t created to have emotions, because emotions get in the way of what her purpose is. hylia made a weapon and a servant, not a friend. it sucks to think about, but that is fi’s purpose.

the game is very careful, however, to show you it’s not that simple from the beginning. because hidden in Ice Queen Fi’s introduction is... a surprising amount of personality.

like this shit, where she straightup just dunks gaepora in the trash because his #Lore is out of date. it’s hysterical because you really do not know if she’s just a) an AI who doesn’t understand when she’s being kinda Rude or b) being snarky On Purpose. and that ambiguity in itself crafts this beautiful air of mystery where you, from the get go, don’t entirely know what to expect of fi all the time.

or this, which she says directly after link hesitates to accept the blade:

this scene, which people who have edgier takes on fi constantly use to paint her as intentionally manipulative, where all i see is... her using emotional validation to calm link down enough for him to take in what’s happening. a really important thing about fi is that she’s paradoxically an empath? she can read auras and detect emotion with extreme precision even if she’s incapable of feeling it herself in the beginning. so she knows everything link is experiencing here, understands that it’s holding him back, and takes care to deconstruct the whirlwind of emotion he’s collapsing under and explain to him why he can and should trust her words.

again this is all in her introductory scene. they write her very specifically to be a seemingly flat character with this... rumbling of something more going on under the surface. so much so that the first time you get to a sacred spring and fi, completely randomly, just starts skating across the water’s surface and speaking ancient poeticisms to you, you don’t question it. you’re not like hey, why is sword alexa doing a little dance? you just accept it as something fi is doing, because fi always feels like she’s at her job, and you don’t know how she acts outside of work, but you kinda feel like maybe you want to.

fi’s affinity for music is another way they insert humanity into an AI without making you think too hard about it. singing and dancing are inherently human, artforms are something we associate with the heart and soul. even teaching a robot to paint is, in itself, an art project crafted by a human hand. but you don’t really... consciously think about that, when you watch her do these things. you just kind of accept that she is this otherworldly thing guiding you. you don’t think about the contrast of this programmed assistant performing music alongside you in a sacred ritual. you’re just kind of like, yeah? i can’t JUST play nayru’s wisdom on my harp, i need someone who can sing and god put a vocaloid in my sword???

throughout the game, fi’s dialogue chains when you summon her don’t change in any meaningful way (besides based on what you’re carrying, where you are, etc) but as you near the end, there are a couple things of note. one that sticks out to me is what she says about one of the mid-game minibosses, who is also an artificial intelligence--

a lot of people laugh abt this line and make jokes about fi being hot for the tall handsome robot pirate and they’re valid. but the thing is, like, from the beginning of her mission, fi knew she’d essentially be dying once the world was saved. and early game fi has no hesitations about her part in things regardless, because, as we know, she wasn’t created to feel things like that. she wasn’t created to fear death, to grow attached to life or anyone in it, or to experience sorrow at the idea of saying goodbye. but this is mid-game fi, who still... never says anything she doesn’t deem entirely necessary, but she says this. for no discernible reason, she says this. it’s an unskippable dialogue option, one they WANT you to see and one that is different when you know where she ends up. admiration is already something you wouldn’t really expect of her, but it’s more than that--she’s longing for her own story to mirror it. by the sand sea, fi has started to realize she doesn’t want to go to sleep.

it’s another one of those moments where you’re kinda like, ‘haha, what, fi?' and then move on. another one of those moments where she kinda does something a little unexpected, but not so unexpected you question it too hard. fi excels at those.

before you go off to fight demise, fi stops you to warn you that it is the final battle, and you cannot return. and when you tell her you’re ready, she says this:

as i’ve said, fi doesn’t waste words. almost always, everything she says is for the purpose of efficiency, and rarely does she offer thoughts without fixed probabilities and ultimate endgoals in mind.

this is a sentiment.

it serves no purpose. it is purely an expression of devotion.

and because of EVERYTHING i’ve mentioned thus far, this line both hits you HARD as significant and foreboding in how suddenly tender it is, AND manages to read as in-character for her to say. because the way they write fi’s humanity is so beneath the surface, so easily missable, so hard for me to even lay out with concrete evidence despite the fact that i’m a person who reads a text dump of all her dialogue before bed every night.

but to me, what lays out fi’s inner workings best is actually her actual goodbye, and... not the moment most people would think, tbh? it’s not her tender farewell that speaks her emotions loudest to me, but the moment right before:

these lines, which would read as perfectly in character if it were early game fi, cut you. her complete and utter flippancy, the way she talks about all you’ve been through together as though it were nothing to her, the absolute coldness here after everything. you as a player feel kind of pathetic when she says this, like you were misguided in growing attached to her and thinking of her as a friend. and you KNOW thats the intended effect, because this is what link looks like:

he takes a moment in that last shot to like. swallow sadness and turn away from her, but even as he’s turning his head, he doesn’t take his eyes off her until the last possible moment. she hurts his feelings! why.

because it’s an act, is why. of COURSE fi loves him. of course she’s grown attached to him, of course she’s happy to have known him, of COURSE they’re friends. but fi was NEVER supposed to feel that way, she was never supposed to have the capability to love, and there’s no calculation she can run to set the uncertainties of that at ease within herself. so those lines up above is her trying her best to reset herself to who she was in the beginning, to snap herself back into the role of an emotionless servant to the goddess, to convince herself--not link--that saying goodbye won’t hurt. she’s trying to cope with something she has no idea was in the cards for her, and that’s why she’s seemingly so cruel for a moment.

all of this becomes apparent when she calls him back moments later and tells him how she really feels. there’s major whiplash because fi herself is Going Thru It. but essentially what’s happening in that moment is she thinks she knows what will hurt the least, but she miscalculates and backpedals and realizes even if saying goodbye hurts, it hurts less than pretending she doesn’t want to.

i think a lot of people overlook that line--“the most precious data i have on record.” fi, who contains multitudes within her. who contains knowledge immeasurable, the thoughts and feelings and stories of thousands. of civilizations, of gods, of countless ages passed. everything she holds within her is dwarfed entirely by what she feels for link, beside link. nothing in her encyclopedic knowledge can even compare to her friendship with him in the significance it has to her. like all things, fi has her own way of communicating her meanings, and this is her way of saying she really, truly loves him.

in addition, she very carefully does this after he abandons the sword, so it’s clear that it’s of her own will, not a part of her purpose as his servant. for this whole cutscene, up until she end, she drops the honourific and calls him just Link.

and while i see a lot of people debate if she truly does ‘feel,’ anything, like... she says it right here, she does. whether or not she was able to feel from the beginning or not, she can feel now. she has trouble putting words to those feelings, or explaining to herself and others where on earth they came from... but she feels now. that cannot be disputed.

happiness that she was able to know him. loyalty she wants to transcend lifetimes. sorrow at the idea of them having to part. gratitude that he took the chance, and did so beside her.

let’s talk about gratitude.

in skyward sword, gratitude is a tangible source of magic. it opposes malice, which as of botw is a reoccurring thing in zelda lore. skyward sword has two items--evil crystals and gratitude crystals--that represent malice and gratitude respectively. while the first isn’t entirely relevant, the second is something you’re actively encouraged to more or less harvest by helping people and basking in their thanks toward you. these feelings of gratitude are so canonically powerful in the zelda universe that they can turn monsters into humans entirely, and the outpouring of energy that event causes makes every monster & hostile creature within all of skyloft turn docile at once.

according to batreaux, the monster in question, this is well-established legend, the idea of gratitude granting humanity to the nonhuman. skyward sword literally said the power of love was canon.

the song that plays over the goodbye, of course, is called fi’s gratitude.

this is just one theory i have on the matter, but... whether hylia intended or foresaw fi to be capable of feeling human emotion or not, i do believe it was gratitude that woke her heart up. whether she was meant to love or not, link’s spirit contained within it enough love for the both of them, enough to touch her soul and rouse her from her cold and emotionless state. as always, through everything, they work in perfect tandem--his passionate heart touches hers as it sleeps, her wisdom holds him steady and level-headed.

when fi says “may we meet again in another life,” she says it like a prayer, because it is one--she knows hylia, knows that hylia loved link’s spirit just as she did, and knows that hylia of all people understands what the sword spirit is going through. and fi also knows that hylia immortalizes those she loves with cycles, with reincarnation, eternal life without the pain of never dying. fi doesn’t have a soul that hylia can bring back from death nor a physical body to revive, but she works with what she can--and so long as link’s spirit breathes anew, he finds fi. in a sunlit grove, with light bearing down on her, safe and warm and always loyal, even as the world rages on outside. fidelis, she was named for--“faithful.”

the fandom doesn’t really talk abt it, but fi is an angel. she’s an angel god sent to watch over one human, and when god said your mission is complete fi faced god and walked backwards into hell. her divine mission is long passed, but it stopped being about what she was fated to do long ago.

fi began to watch over link because he was her master. and fi resolved to stay forever because he was link.

#skyward sword #long post #hand of sorrow #wendy rambles #Anonymous #wendy answers

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sloppy-butcher · 4 years

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Whats your hcs for Frank, Evan and Herman?? They are my 3 loves so im curious... (love your work ya poes

how old are you sir? I must ask to see ur ID. a babey can’t be using language like that >:(

anyhow, the 3 boys eh? I’ll gladly write anything for them uwu. I’m going to be doing general relationship hc’s so things will probably get fluffy and maybe a little angsty. i can’t help myself sometimes. I’m going to try include one NSFW hc for each of the 3 stooges, so be prepared. it may be bad. the reader will be left as ambiguous as possible

edit: i write way to much :/ i think i should only do 1 or 2 character requests from now on T_T

hope you enjoy!

General relationship HeadCanons

The Legion (Frank Morrison)

With Frank, there was no real start to your relationship. There was no moment in time, no exact, pinpoint instance when one could say that that is when you two starting everything. It kind of just happened. Maybe it was when Frank first kissed you, it felt like fireworks and the snow in Mount Ormond was no longer cold. Or maybe it was when he first saw you dancing along with Suzie to one of her favorite songs, the twirling of your feet mixed with perfectly timed head slams dazzled him and he wanted nothing more than to have you give him a private dance. In the end, these are all speculations and the truth may never be known.

Around others, he was hesitant to show his emotion. You two could be sitting right next to each other your thighs all but alined when out of nowhere Joey sticks his head in. Frank snaps like a mousetrap, retreating back away from you as if he was embarrassed. You confronted him about this, you told him everything’s okay and that no one would judge him for being human. He refused you and, not to lie, it really hurt. But one day, just as you were walking away you felt his hand snake its way into yours. He hesitated for a moment, afraid you might reject him but of course, you gladly wrapped his hand in yours. You heard Joey wolf-whistle from somewhere behind you and Frank very enthusiastically tossed a middle finger at him. You couldn’t see it, but Frank was blushing under his mask.

Franks, not a romantic guy so don’t expect flowers or gifts or really anything nice. He grew up with virtually nothing so the idea of wooing someone with items of material affection is very foreign to him. He believes that if his presence and physical affection aren’t enough to prove to you that he appreciates you, then nothing will. But you never cared about gifts. All you ever wanted was Frank and he couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought.

!NSFW! Frank was a pretty vanilla guy. He doesn’t have much experience when it comes to the department of extremely intimate affection and therefore knew literally nothing about the pleasures of the flesh. But the keyword here is ‘was’. After meeting you and your guiding hand he blossomed into a very wild and very hungry individual. His favorite position though is when he gets to look at you. And if you call his name he will instantly crumble. Afterward, or during the act you need to reach out and caress him. Touch and explore his body, mainly his face and he’d moan even louder. Your hands are so soft and gentle and when you touch him he floats with elated glee. He feels alive when he’s with you.

The Doctor (Herman Carter)

You would have to be extremely special or out-of-the-ordinary in order to catch the eye of the Doctor. But somehow you managed to do it. Herman was a man unhinged, incapable of empathy and compassion. He never looked at other humans as people with feelings and conscious ideas and thoughts. He only ever saw them and you as test subjects. But something about you was off. You did something that made this machine of a man halt in his pursuit of human torture. What exactly did you do? Well, nothing really. As he approached you, electrical energy between his hands flexing and growing ready to turn your brain to mush, you never screamed, never flinched away and never took your tired eyes off him. The first few times when you welcomed death he didn’t notice and it was only after a significate amount of encounters that finally Herman realized he had never heard your cries of fear and pain.

He would amp up his power when he would find you in trials. He would kill you much more violently than he would the others, make your liquified brain ooze out your ears and make your heart stop and start like a busted old car. Sometimes he would even through away the whole trial upsetting his boss greatly, just to get to you. But no matter what he did, you never offered him what he wanted. You had seen and experienced much worse than him and when death never gives you a release, torture becomes mundane and repetitive. When Herman finally understood that you weren’t afraid of him, he relented, snuffed out his power and walked away. He had his attention now.

Whenever you would visit him during off-time he would follow you as you wandered around the massive mansion known as Léry’s. Sometimes he would lead you, taking you to the rooms which he liked the most (operation rooms). Herman can not talk, the contraption in his mouth has stretched his lips to the point that they can no longer function and his voice box is beyond repair, damaged thanks to his constant flow of electricity that would otherwise kill a man. But he doesn’t need to talk to you. You always seem to know what he wants without hearing a single word.

!NSFW! Sex with Herman is out of the question. The man is pumped with endless volts of electricity and if you were to so much as touch him, your body would recoil and spasm painfully from the contact. If you ever wanted to experience pleasure from or with the man, he would have to try rein back some of that overflowing energy. But the man is too prideful and would never dare try to cull some of his ability. Unfortunately. But maybe after some time, he might learn to listen. There is no time in the Fog, only eternity and humans were never meant to live for that long. Our minds dull and our intentions warp from the time spent existing and maybe even someone as mad and determined as Herman could learn that it’s not so bad to let others into his life.

The closest you could ever get to kissing Herman is probably just planting a soft peck on his cheek. A dangerous move considering the possible consequences of actually touching him with such a sensitive part of you, but a risk you were willing to take. One day, however, in the silence and fog of the mansion Herman would reach out for you. He would lean down to your height and very slowly take your hand. There was no static shook when your skins met. He was telling you that he was calm. He would then guide your hands to his mouthpiece and he would tell you to take it off. Delicately you would peel away the metal from flesh and his mouth would furiously bleed and dretch his teeth with red. When he was free you would quickly meet him and you would hungrily kiss his chapped lips. He would kiss you back, his lips unable to keep up with yours but his tongue is wild and eager. However, after only a minute he would shove you away violently. As you feel the connection between you two break, the space around Herman lits up and crackles with mad energy. You would have to wait for him to calm down again if you wanted to continue your endeavors.

The Trapper (Evan Macmillan)

Despite being one of the most diligent and consistently brutal killers in the realm, when Evan is alone and the only eyes watching him are yours, he is a gentleman. He would speak to you softly, asking about your day already knowing that it was pretty shit. He would hold doors open for you and he would always make sure you were warm, either with a spare blanket or a seat extra close to a fire. He would fuss over you. Your soft skin, so clean and pure, untouched by the horrible and evil ways of the world made him marvel at how human you were. To him, you were what humans were meant to be, good and kind, whereas he was a monster charred and broken, unworthy and incapable of affection and of all those things that were meant to make life wonderful. He wanted to protect you, preserve that softness of you and although he couldn’t do anything to help you when the camera’s all turned back on, during this time he would smother you with whatever cautious and motherly behavior he could muster.

He was drawn to you because of your confident behavior. He found your energy alluring and would always find himself somehow infected by your hope and optimism. You were like a fire, burning everything in your path and he just happened to be close enough to catch alight. In the beginning, Evan would become very annoyed by your seemingly endless ideas of survival but as time went on and you never seemed to dampen like the others he found that his annoyance turned into curiosity. A part of him wanted to know what it was like to be under your light of hope. It yearned to be rescued but a bigger and much louder part of him, a voice oddly resembling his fathers, drowned it out. However, that didn’t stop his feet from walking towards you and it certainly didn’t stop you from staying with him.

In the early stages of your relationship with the mountain of a man, you had to the one initiating affection. You had to be the one to reach out and grab his hand. He would look down at you and you swore you could hear him gasp. And when you would want to hug him, you would either have to wait until he sat down or you would have to climb atop a box. It’s not that he was afraid to reciprocate your feelings, he just felt like he didn’t deserve it. He tried to remain stone-cold and distant hoping that it would detour you and make you give up on him but you weren’t known for ‘giving up’. Eventually, when you refused to leave and he had to accept that you wanted to be with him, all you needed to do for a hug was open your arms wide and beckon him closer with your hands. He would roll his eyes and very stiffly lean down for you. You would eagerly wrap yourself as best you could around his neck and, if you were laughing or in an infectiously good mood, he would engulf you in his own. Sometimes he would even stand up and sweep you off your feet. He would bury himself into your neck, trying his best to smell you through his bone and metal mask.

!NSFW! This has been said many times before but Evan has handles. Those large pieces of metal piercing his shoulders and down his back. It scared you at first when he suggested you hold onto them, they looked so painful and the skin around the puncture wounds were all puffy and red. He reassured you and explained that he doesn’t feel much of anything anymore. When he said that you looked at him confused then, without thinking, you lean forward and gently place a kiss on the wound. He tries to watch you as you trail butterfly kisses over his exposed chest. “Feel better?” You ask pulling away for a moment. He couldn’t respond, his throat welling up with shook, disgust and absolute fascination. You clearly didn’t care about what he looked like, what kind of monster he had become, and it gave him so much more confidence. Hold on to his handlebars, pull and yank them as he thrusts into you, he likes to feel your weight vibrate through the bars into his ribcage. Evan enjoys the feeling of control he gets when he is the one giving you pleasure and also foundation.

BONUS! Drag your tongue along one of the bars. Make sure his eyes never leave you and when you finally lick the whole length of the metal, plant your lips firmly on his mouth. He will kiss back passionately, amazed at how dirty someone so pure and good like you could be.

#dead by daylight #dbd imagines #dbd the legion #dbd frank morrison x reader #dbd the Doctor #dbd herman carter x reader #dbd the trapper #dbd evan macmillan x reader #this is too long #but i love you #ask

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fbdo1986 · 4 years

Note

idk the only fbdo prompt i can think of is cameron falls asleep on the couch so ferris and sloane have a contest to see how much random shit they can put on him before he wakes up. Besides that, the way you wrote cam & sloane’s 1st kiss was very good, how bout writing ferris and cam’s 1st kiss? Unless that’s gonna be in ur new fic of course. Anyway, i’ll be back if i can think of cuter prompts

yo anon… you’re the best!!!! how about i write both???!! it’s hard for me sometimes to write ferris/cam and i have no idea why?? but i’ll do it for you anon! and honestly i’m not too sure if my fic is gonna involve any kissing tbh! i kinda foster ideas as i go

okay! since i am incapable of putting this one in the same timeline of my sloane/cam fic heres one that goes post the fic im working on, which is an interpretation of that fateful day off! (it’s probably a few days after or so)

warning: slight mention of ab*se bc like. cameron’s dad exists

ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG I GOT CARRIED AWAY!

Cameron narrowly escapes to his room, his hands shakily pressing the button to dial up the Bueller residence. He was high of pure adrenaline, and unfortunately, fear. The spiel about how ‘he wouldn’t be pushed around any longer, and seriously doesn’t a teenager deserve to have a life of his own? and how he’s done nothing except nearly exhaust himself to make the man proud and he doesn’t even notice!?’ actually takes old Morris Frye by surprise, and in a good way. He ruffles Cameron’s hair and goes on about how for the longest time he’s been waiting for his son to become a man, and how maybe, he’s proud of Cam. That is, until he realizes Cameron’s mentioned the car. Then all bets are off. It starts with a loud bellowing yell and Cameron can sense it’s only gonna escalate from here. Quickly, Morris is inching his way closer to Cameron and even though Cam is giving an explanation as quickly as words can exit his mouth to try and derail his father, it’s no use for the man who loves his car more than his own family. The man is seeing red, the red of that precious 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California that tumbled to its death from the garage. And Cameron needs to get out of there before he gets any closer.

So he makes it to his bedroom, and the immediate response is Ferris. There’s no one who can save him like the boy who can get out of trouble in any situation. The line rings and he hears the familiar, moody hello of Jeanie Bueller. “Hey, it’s Cameron. Can you put Ferris on, please?” His voice wavers, and Jeanie immediately understands. Cameron won’t lose it, not like how he used to, but these things build up.

“Ferris! It’s Cameron!” Jeanie yells, and Mrs. Bueller asks if everything’s alright. Jeanie keeps silent, letting Ferris spill if he decides to.

Ferris has something inside of him that is fine tuned to discussions of Cameron or Sloane. This shout isn’t typical Jeanie tone, and immediate sirens begin to blare in his ears. From across the house he’s at the phone in the hall, immediately replacing Jeanie at the line. “Hey, what’s up?” He keeps his voice light. Maybe it’s nothing.

“Fer, I need an out. My old man is gonna kill me for this car. I mean it. He’ll find a way to give me hell. If it was his way I’d never come back.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding in. “Please.”

At this point, Ferris has nearly bitten the inside of his cheek raw. He suddenly regrets all the things he’s ever done to put Cameron at risk of being hurt by his old man. Sure, he did think taking the car out was good for Cameron—he always wished Cameron could loosen up and fully enjoy what good things happened to him—but he could’ve never imagined the state it’d be in by the end of the day. He meant it when he said he’d take the heat for this, and he still does. It kills him to know his foolishness could cost Cameron harm. Ever since Ferris Bueller understood just how horrible things get in Cameron’s house he immediately knew he’d always be there for him. It takes a little longer to realize the reverse is true, that he’d be complete and utterly lost without Cameron, and that he needs him to stay sane. He won’t let that show in his words or his tone. He’s gotta be strong right now because that is what Cameron needs.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get you out of there.” He covers the receiver. “Jeanie, can I use your car?” A silent nod of understanding from his sister. Mrs. Bueller is insisting to take care of it, she’s always liked Cameron, but Ferris wants it all under his control. “I’ll be there soon, alright?” He asks Cameron, hoping he doesn’t know that he’s keeping his voice from shaking. At least he can’t see his hands.

A deep breath. “Thank you, Ferris. Seriously. You don’t understand how much I appreciate this.” Cameron always knows that Ferris is and always will be there for him, but he’s always grateful when he steps up for things like this.

Like lightning after Jeanie gives him the keys, Ferris races out of his house and hops into his sister’s car. Ferris is thankful for his driver’s license despite his absence of a car. And he’s thankful for Jeanie at this moment, too. And most importantly, for Cameron. He fights every urge to completely speed over there, since he’d never forgive himself for getting a speeding ticket on the way to his best friend’s house. When he gets to Cameron’s he makes his way to Cameron’s window. He’s willing to risk heat from Morris for sneaking Cameron out, and if the man even thinks he’s getting at Cameron for this he’s sorely mistaken. Has Ferris ever fought anyone? Absolutely not, but Morris Frye deserves to have a taste of his own medicine for once in his life. Ferris raps on the window as quietly as he can, his eyes lighting up immediately when Cameron turns to face him.

Cameron fights a loud, enthusiastic expression of gratitude, but his sentiments remain. “G-d bless Ferris Bueller.” Ferris simply grins. But his eyes widen with concern when he remembers why he’s here. “Wait, Cam. Are you hurt? Did that son of a bitch—” Ferris can’t stop himself from grabbing at Cameron’s arms and getting a bit too close to look at his face.

Cameron chuckles, swatting him away. “I’m fine, Fer. Quit breathing on me. But seriously, I’m alright.” He looks at Ferris, the absolute goof of a best friend right in front of him. Despite his cool exterior, he really does wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s thankful that all those threats that he’d find a new best friend were never serious. Cameron almost embraces him. Almost. He settles for a shared smile.

“Okay, let’s get the hell out of here.” Ferris rocks back onto his heels and Cameron swiftly stands up from his bed. They get out through the window and shut it tight.

The ride to Ferris’s is awkward. Ferris wants nothing more than to crack a joke and relieve this tension, but he doesn’t want to disrespect what’s just happened to Cameron. The radio is on low, playing the current hits. When they reach the Bueller’s Cameron is bombarded with concerned but sweet proddings from Mrs. Bueller and a comforting look from Jeanie. Cameron feels a bit lighter already, but he only feels like he can fully breathe once they’re in Ferris’ room. The Cars are softly playing from Ferris’s stereo while Cameron flops directly onto the bed and Ferris sits next to him.

“Jesus Christ.” Cameron’s voice is muffled against the comforter, and he slowly turns to face up and look at the ceiling. “I hate this. I can’t believe I have to run away to solve my problems.”

“To be fair, you’re not running away. You’re literally 10 miles away from your house. Plus, I helped you escape.” Ferris leans back on his palms and looks at the ceiling too. “Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t done it sooner. I wouldn’t last a day there. I don’t know how you do it. Fuck what Morris says, Cam, you’re the bravest man I know.” He breathes out a sigh and wishes he could say more.

Cameron shifts and turns to Ferris for a moment. “No way, man. That’s you.” They exchange a glance. Despite being friends for seven years, words like these don’t get shared often between them. “Thank you. Again. Not even just for this, Fer.” He looks at Ferris intensely. “My life outside of that house is what it is because of you. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Ferris averts his gaze, but a smile plays on his lips for a moment. He pauses and draws out the phrase, “You, my love, are worth it all.”

Cameron’s face is immediately drowned in heat. He doesn’t know why this is so significant but all he feels is his heartbeat in his throat and he can’t help but sit up, dumbfounded. He looks at Ferris and there’s nothing that can convince him the boy was joking. Ferris, inversely, however, is turning pale.

“What?” That’s all that escapes Cameron’s mouth, but it’s not upset or repulsed. Only curious.

“Look, Cam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it and it just slipped out and you’re just great, okay? That’s it. You’re just great, the problem is how great you are.” The words slip out so fast Cameron is just barely hanging on.

“I’m what?”

“You’re fantastic. You’re everything I could ask in a friend and more and I’ve just been thinking it over for a few days and I’m so sorry I ever jeopardized your safety. I need you and all of this wouldn’t even matter if it wasn’t for you, Cameron.” His eyes, deep with worry and passion all at once meet Cameron’s. And without a second thought Ferris’s hands are cupping his face and he presses a kiss into Cameron’s lips. Cameron’s caught off guard, insanely surprised, but as his heartbeat slows he can hear Ferris’s breath in an exhale and Cameron presses a kiss back into Ferris. Cameron smiles and after a moment Ferris parts from the kiss and looks up at his best friend.

“Didn’t mean shit, Bueller.” Cameron laughs and all of a sudden the light is back in Ferris’s eyes and Ferris can’t think of anything to do but tackle Cameron in a hug. It knocks Cameron’s lanky frame over, but they just lay there and continue to laugh.

#idk why the format of this looks weird while im posting hopefully its fine #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I LITERALLY COULD POST THIS AS A FIC #also ofc this is ferris/cam based but yall know id die for the ot3 and i didnt wanna bring sloane in to complicate the plot #BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!#ferris bueller's day off #cameron frye #my writing #ferris bueller #ferris bueller’s day off fanfiction #ferris bueller’s day off fanfic

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maverick-werewolf · 5 years

Note

(Resending in case your askbox turned into a werewolf and ate it) Going off of the angst anon, how much werewolf angst would you say is the Goldilocks of werewolf angst? Just asking 'cause I've read too many stories where all the main character does is whine ("ohwoeisme").

Oh man, there’s so much for me to say about this. It’s a topic close to my heart, one might say. I know there is no way I’ll get all my thoughts about this out in one post because my brain won’t consolidate all my thoughts at once like this and there’s always more I could add, but I’ll do my best.

I have very particular opinions on the whole “werewolf angst” thing because what the werewolf community talks about as “werewolf angst” is something I greatly enjoy writing.

I think it’s all about reframing what “werewolf angst” is - and figuring out why it can so often come across as just a character “whining.”

Bear with me. I’m going to do some breaking down, here. I promise I’ll get to the point. I’m a professor, I ramble a lot and wave my hands around before I finally make my final statement.

First of all, calling it “angst” isn’t doing it any favors. Referring to it as “angst” makes it sound immature and silly. Baseless. Unimportant. It makes them “whining” about being a werewolf seem ultimately like it’s not a big deal, and they need to focus on more important things.

So what do we mean by angst? People on the internet mean the very modern idea of angst, like teen angst. One informal definition of angst is as follows:

a feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.

The formal definition of angst is:

a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

The root of “angst” comes from fear, and the root of that root comes from “tight, painfully constricted, painful.”

We have made the word “angst” into something base and trivial. It originally wasn’t. However, the werewolf fandom as a whole tends to refer to someone upset about their lycanthropy in this way, and they tend to mean the modern definition (as most people today do).

Personally, I prefer to refer to this as “werewolf anxiety” rather than “werewolf angst.”

Werewolf Anxiety vs Werewolf Angst

There are a few reasons I prefer calling it anxiety.

This - that is, being a werewolf, and not wanting to be a werewolf - is a big deal for the character. This isn’t something people should refer to as “angst,” because that implies a lot of things that, by nature of this issue, should not be true (i.e., all the things I said about it being unimportant/trivial/a passing thing/etc).

And, as we all know, anxiety is a big deal and a very bad thing. It’s not something we want to have. Likewise, being a werewolf is not something these characters want to have. And let’s face it: being a werewolf wouldn’t make you “angsty,” it’d make you anxious.

Think about all that’d come with it. It’s a lot. The not wanting to be discovered, worrying about how people would treat you differently, wondering if people would want to kill you, worrying about people hunting you, wondering about the things you might’ve done… the list goes on and on and on.

This is, of course, assuming the werewolf in question is the kind that transforms against their will and loses control of themselves. That is what I’m referring to throughout this post.

Secondly, let’s think about some of the characters and stories where we see “werewolf angst.” In a good werewolf story, it shouldn’t be something referred to as “angst” simply because, again, by nature, it would not be something trivial.

Worrying about this, or complaining about it (via narration, dialogue, or whatever else) is something they would do because it is a very big deal. Any reasonable character would be worrying and complaining about it, vocally or to themselves. They’d be upset more than “complaining.” Stressing over it horribly. It’s a bad thing, a bad situation, and they don’t like it and wish it was different.

Angsting is something you do over getting zits when you hit puberty. Complaining is something you do when you didn’t get a pickle at the drive thru and can’t go back to ask for one. Werewolf characters shouldn’t “angst” or “complain” because what’s happening to them is a much, much bigger deal than that.

So how do we make it feel that way?

The necessary balance to doing that and making it believable is to make werewolves themselves a big deal: they need to be scary and taken seriously. In a world where werewolves are not remotely terrifying and everyone makes constant jokes about them, then yes, of course the person upset over being a werewolf is going to come across as a whiner.

A werewolf’s problems in a world where the protagonist is genuinely upset about it shouldn’t include “lol, you turn into a dog, bro” and “lol ur biggest problem is chasing the mailman and pissing on fire hydrants” and “omg ur shedding, u smell like wet dog!!”.

Their problems are actually killing and eating people. Killing families. Causing destruction. Death. Devouring flesh. Doing bad, terrible, horrible things that any sane and even remotely good-hearted person would be deeply upset to even imagine that they do, especially if they cannot remember even doing it or who or what they did it to.

Does this mean they should complain about it constantly? No, not at all. Does doing so make them a bit of a one-note character? Yes, absolutely.

A character shouldn’t exist solely to show us what werewolves are like in a setting, they shouldn’t exist just so their lycanthropy can be a one-off mystery plotline or subplot. They’ll never once be an interesting character if they’re created for that purpose, and when that story is over, they’ll just whine and flail constantly.

I won’t name names and upset people, as I know he is a popular character, but there is one character I know of in particular who existed to be “omg, you’re a werewolf!” and when that plotline was over, he served no purpose and had nothing else to offer as a character. None whatsoever.

When he showed up once everyone found out he was a werewolf, he’d just shout and smack and go nuts saying “oh my gosh, how could you even be friends with a werewolf!?” and then try to push everyone away constantly and never let anyone close. He was always mad and upset about something. We never got to see him be a person, just “that guy who is upset about being a werewolf.”

Sure, a character can have phases of that, but they have to get over it (even if it takes multiple books!), or they’re making no character progression at all.

Why was this character upset in the first place? We only saw the werewolf growl at some people and yeet away into some woods. And oh no, people arguably treat him poorly for it (even though we never actually see that). Werewolves in that setting aren’t hunted like animals. They aren’t considered monsters incapable of being human ever again. And if they’re treated all that differently then, again, we never actually see it to feel like his complaining is justified.

So where is the happy medium found?

It’s found in making being a werewolf actually a bad thing that we can clearly see and making that character human and relatable enough to be upset about it - while also having a character of their own beyond “oh no, I’m so sad I’m a werewolf!” That should not be their only character trait. Show us they’re also human. Show us they’re like us, how upsetting this would be if it happened to us.

Make it real.

A werewolf is a person, too. They’re just like the rest of us. Imagine being put into this situation. It’d be terrifying.

Make a character who is a character first and a werewolf second. Make a character, make them a werewolf, and put them into this situation and see how they react. A good person will react naturally without the anxiety and upset going overboard.

They need to have things going on other than being a werewolf. Subplots, other character interactions, moments when the werewolf itself gets to shine. Moments when we build toward that character overcoming the werewolf anxiety. And intermittent in those moments, you can have the character being upset about it vocally, but the anxiety over it should be apparent in their thoughts and actions throughout. Anxiety lingers and flares. This would, too. But like anxiety, they’d also have moments when they overcome it - even if, like anxiety, it comes back to haunt them later.

Just put the reader into the character’s shoes and what people call “werewolf angst” becomes something much bigger, much scarier, much more upsetting, and much more real. It becomes werewolf anxiety. It becomes something they need to conquer, and I know there are a lot of us who can relate to trying to overcome anxieties... be they unreal, supernatural, and incredibly dangerous, or otherwise.

And we want to see the character conquer it somehow, and when they “complain,” they are justly upset and we feel sorry for them, because we see this and we see how terrible it is all the time throughout the story.

That is the difference.

Bottom line…

The moment werewolves and being a werewolf becomes trivial, being upset about it is made trivial, too.

#asks #anonymous #werewolf #werewolves #werewolf angst #writing #werewolf writing #fiction writing #writing tips

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flightsrsk · 4 years

Text

hello hello all !!! my name is riley and this is my actual trash son maverick, aka the flight risk !!! i am so so hyped to get the ball rollin on this, so check out info on my kid under ze cut !!

warning: this got rlly mcfreaking long and i am so sorry fjdklsjs i am incapable of writing a short intro post

unfortunately i will not be able to be around for the official opening bc i’m on vacation w my fam and godparents, but i will try and intermittently read intros and chat to you guys about plots !!!! PLS feel free to bombard me through IMs or through discord if any plot sparks ur interest or u think mav could fit well in one of ur plots!!! :’)

THE BASICS

Name: Maverick Hobbes Braxton

Age: Twenty-one

Gender: Cismale

Pronouns: He/Him

Major & year: Philosophy, Third year

Faceclaim: Alex Fitzalan

Occupation: N/A

THE FLIGHT RISK

Maverick Braxton, as you might see, is an enigma—or rather, has evolved into one, slowly: a transformation that begun with his first breath. In his early years, the stage had been set for him, line by line. Act One: attend prep schools, excel in classes. Act Two: attend Covington, take center stage—you know, all of the things his older brother, Richard had accomplished with ease, just one year prior to all of his expectations. It was simple, really: a blueprint laid out ahead of him, with little to nothing in his way.

The only problem was that Maverick didn’t exactly see the point in choosing that path, that stage, that story. To him, it wasn’t challenging.

That, and the fact that the life laid out in front of him offered him absolutely nothing.

A series of banal expectations, unfair comparisons, and heartbreaking betrayals, and the traditional life of the Braxton child was thrown out the window—at least, in his brain, it was. See, Maverick Braxton, while independent, coy, and arrogant, isn’t stupid. He knows if he pleases his parents just enough, they’ll still distribute his trust fund and still bail him out of legal trouble when he inevitably tiptoes too far down the delicate line between ambition and rebellion. Perhaps it’s a bit selfish, but what does he owe to a family who paid him no attention, who never asked of his well-being, his own ambitions, his personal dreams?

He’s the kind of person to drive down the highway, windows rolled all the way down, cigarette lit—not because he necessarily likes the taste of nicotine, but because he likes the way the smoke creates clouds that obscure reality. He’ll surprise you in class when he interjects with a sarcastic but surprisingly salient point before throwing up his hood and retreating to the back corner for the rest of class. He’s the kind of person to start reading a book, flipping incessantly through the pages, both impatient by the pace of the plot, yet put it down before he reaches the final pages because he doesn’t want to be disappointed by the ending. He’s the kind of artist who rarely finishes a sketch, the writer who is never satisfied by a poem—for fear, of course, by deep-rooted insecurities that nothing that he will ever do will be enough.

A once-broken heart had taken time to mend, even though it seems ice-cold and whole from the outside. It’s why he has commitment issues: he doesn’t want to be burned again. He plays off his flirtatious bit as a personality trait, someone who is bored by the prospect of being tied down—and yet those who share his bed might consider him Covington’s most surprisingly deep pillow-talker.

An enigma, you see—one who doesn’t stick around long enough for anyone to truly understand, truly a Flight Risk.

BIOGRAPHY:

( You can read his full biography here! Still in the process of editing it a bit, but below are some important bullet points! )

Maverick was born the second of three children to the Braxton family—and as per usual with the Braxton children, he was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation.

His father, a playwright, his mother, an actress. His brother, a theatre prodigy—what part did that leave him to play? The assumed expectations were to follow in his mother and brothers’ footsteps and take center stage; he excelled, for a while, but Maverick always felt lost.

Neighbors and family friends would always ask if he had measured up, in each and every shape and form: it was like the entire universe had a scoreboard with their names titling each section, and Maverick was always playing catch-up, never knowing where the finish line was.

For a while, he stuck to the script that was given to him: study, succeed, repeat. He tried to understand the ins and outs of his father’s work, of masterful acting techniques, trying to make a large enough splash to where his family would even notice the work he put into his life. Surprise: it didn’t.

It took him seventeen years to truly understand that his role in life was not exactly the story his parents had laid out for him, but rather, his sibling, instead.

Downcast emotions transformed quickly into cynicism. What used to make him feel sad now fueled a blue fire within Maverick’s chest, one that felt wronged by the system he was placed in: a complete first-world problem, but it was then and there when he decided to take advantage of his situation, given that he had spent his entire life dedicated to a part he wouldn’t play.

Hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work, cashing the unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.

One piece of recognition that Maverick finally earned was an acceptance to Covington—and even that couldn’t be tainted by his brother’s success or his legacy status.

At Covington, Maverick has both lost and found his footing, multiple times. He’s quit acting, quit studying theater, in favor of a topic that stimulates his brain more than reading lines and

PERSONALITY:

Maverick Braxton is certainly a paradox. He’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry.

Despite his apparent inferiority to his sibling, the Braxton family still breeds the cream of the crop. He’s certainly a bit arrogant sometimes, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and wants to be recognized for it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. He thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. After all, his passion in philosophy, his current area of study, makes him certainly interested in how the world works.

Those who happen to get to know Maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. His lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them.

He asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to.

Deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. He passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents ( and the rest of the goddamned universe ) had given him.

Despite his theatre prowess, he isn’t actually a particularly good liar. Those who spend enough time around him can hear his tone of voice incline slightly and see him scratch his brow.

AESTHETICS:

coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in but nothing playing, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, unfinished poems, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, an unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.

HEADCANONS:

Funnily enough, Maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations.

He does have one strong connection to his family, though: his grandmother, on his father’s side. She understands the pressure he undergoes, who saw the pressure Maverick’s father endured to obtain the success he has. She is one of the only reasons that Maverick has not just jetted off to take on his own adventure. He loves her dearly, and wishes that her empathy and wisdom would rub off on the rest of his family.

Maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. He associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.

In the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. Faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. He’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.

His room is spotless –– evidence that he is a bit of a control freak sometimes. It shows that during his adolescence, he reveled in the parts of his life that he could control and perfect.

tw drugs. He more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. He feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.

Maverick is left-handed. He hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. His left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.

Though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. Sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.

Maverick’s favorite philosopher is Albert Camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).

Maverick’s preferred method of transportation is his skateboard. he loved it first because his parents hated it: pushing himself around on a board like that would get him injured—besides, why not just take the car to school, the driver had been paid for anyway? It was his first taste of rebellion. Now at Covington, where skateboarding is far more efficient than walking across campus, it comes in handy when he sees someone he’d rather not stop and chat to.

Maverick could die with a poetry book nestled on his chest—it’s the one thing he got out of the impressive book collection his family owned. There was something daunting and beautiful about the way poems would transform metaphors into something fantastical, like the emotions were clearly there, but the words were skirting the issue. Kind of like how his parents would never really tell him they loved him.

Maverick often has headphones in when he walks to class. not particularly because he’s actually listening to music or a podcast, but rather because he’d just … rather not be bothered to stop and talk to people.

Maverick loves to draw. He’s mostly self-taught, with a bit of mentorship from his high school art teacher. Evidenced by the rest of his fleeting personality, he rarely finishes a sketch or painting. He claims he never has time to finish them, but the number of crumbled-up, half-finished sketches in his trash bin might say otherwise.

PLOTS

** see my wanted plots tag here too! // and my plots page here !!

* FIRST LOVE / OPEN.

It wouldn’t be easy to make Maverick feel like even more of a disappointment than he already had with his parents, his family—but your muse proved this feeling wrong. He loved them, more than he’d ever loved anything before. In the midst of confusion about where he belonged, he felt safe with your muse; he’d do anything for them. Things ended, he felt betrayed ( though the break-up could have easily been due to a fault of his ), and the split made him the one who now struggles fully with commitment. He doesn’t want to have his heart broken again. See: this entire pinterest board.

but also if u give me this ……………… i’ll name my firstborn after u

* BEST FRIEND / OPEN.

Those who go through similar childhood traumas are often able to understand each other –– that was how it worked with Maverick and your muse, at least. They’re thick as thieves — and have likely seen the ups and downs of Maverick’s life in real time.

* CHILDHOOD FRIENDS / OPEN.

Self explanatory—and also probably knows about the pressures the Braxton family imposes on their children.

* EX-FRIENDS / OPEN.

Friends who were close, close no longer. Maverick’s a real piece of work, and an asshole, too—there are myriad possibilities for why Maverick could have pushed them away. He wouldn’t openly admit that he misses being around your muse, but he certainly would feel a bit of guilt given that they’re no longer the closest of friends.

* MOMENT OF WEAKNESS / OPEN.

Your muse, in whatever unfortunate setting, saw a glimpse of Maverick’s soft side that hardly ever makes an appearance. He’s not going to let them tell the world about his vulnerabilities, though. Not a chance.

* DISLIKED / OPEN.

Maverick is sarcastic, cold, and sometimes emotionless. It’s not surprising that not everyone gets along with the middle Braxton. The possibilities are endless—throw in some sexual tension and I’d actually fall at ur feet.

* PREVIOUS ROOMMATES / OPEN.

Your muse, at one point, probably knew Maverick better than everyone else at Covington. They overheard some of his phone calls with his parents, saw his notes for how he was to achieve his life goals, heard him crying in the middle of the night when he thought your muse was asleep. They could be extremely close now, as in one of the few people Maverick opens up to, or could be distant friends who know about one anothers’ struggles. The possibilities are endless, tbh.

+ ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY ……… IF U THINK THERE’S POSSIBILITY FOR SOMETHING COOL W MAV AND UR MUSE. SIGN ME THE F UP. THANKS.

#tw:drugs #tw:smoking #tw:flashing lights #covintro #// PLS HMU WITH PLOTS OK FDJKLSJSD I HATE I AM MISSING OPENING BUT I WANT ALL THE PLOTS

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louu-7 · 4 years

Text

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 8:

I’m sitting here since maybe half an hour, Sarah came once, to see what happened, but I said that she had to go with the others to enjoy and let me deal with it. I have no idea of what is the solution to these issues, I don’t know if I should stay or come back home, and I don’t know if my Dad’s meant what he said or if it just was to hurt me and make me come back.

I didn’t know words could hurt that much, but I guess I’ll experience even worse in the future, it’s called life, and it’s not supposed to be easy… I mean, for some person everything’s perfect, and beautiful, and kind, but, who’s really believing in this kind of life? Because I gave up for a long time now.

I stopped crying, and I realized I was fucking ridiculous, and stronger than that. Well, I thought that I was stronger than that but I’m weak. “Eh, what happened?” Kie’s voice surprise me as I look at her out of the corner of my eye, incapable of fainting a smile. “Nothing, just enjoy the party, that’s... it doesn’t matter.”

“Girl did you see you? You look like a zombie, I’m not joking.” She laughs a little and sits next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“My father, he just wants me to come back, that’s nothing, I’m just ridiculous as fuck right now. I swear I’m not childish I just lost my… my composure.”

“That’s OK, I don’t think you’re a kid, not as much as these guys over there at least, because they’re the craziest kids I know.”

We smile as our eyes sweep the water, with the sun reflection, and the little moves that makes the marsh shine. That’s really relaxing to be here while thinking about my shitty existence. “If you’re not comin’ back home then come with us, you’ll have fun and think about somethin’ else, get up.”

She stands up and takes my hands to encourage me to stand up at my turn, but I raise hesitantly my shoulders. I can’t stop thinking about this situation, I don’t think they can understand how my father can be… scary and just so… cold, even with his own family. “No, I-”

“Thara, you clearly don’t deserve to stay here alone OK, get up and c’mon, let’s have fun!” She smiles at me and I sigh, before standing up under her support. We join the others and I try to keep a smile on my face, even if my eyes are betraying me. “What happen, I though you just were on a call?” John B asks, quit concerned.

“Don’t worry that’s, hum, that’s nothing, just enjoy today. I’m sorry, for the phone, it ruined everything.”

“Nah, it could’ve happen to anyone of you, that’s OK.”

We sit here all and talk while eating a lot of cake, then we put a little bit of music, and the girls are doing an amazing duo when it comes to dance. I never been a good dancer, so I’m just staying here, looking at them both, beaming and smiling to life. Whereas I can’t enjoy, even if I tried.

The stress is just filling me when I starts to think of the conversation I’ll have with my Dad tonight, I’m scared that he completely lock me up, I’m not ready to stop hanging out with these people that I already love for the most part.

The girls are taking me away from my thoughts when they both take one of my hand to make me dance with them. After a while dancing, with the boys running everywhere and screaming the lyrics, and 2:30pm past, we all decide to change and get onto the boat. I send a message to Alyssa where I’m completely beginning her to say to Dad that I came home and that I come back in two hours maximum.

She responds quickly and my heart melt at the second where I read it.

"i do it just bc i love u and i don't want dad to yell at u, but if u wanna hang out b more careful, i'm not onna b able to have ur back everytime. enjoy and b at home in an hour and a half, mom's comin back sooner, love u"

I smile and put back my phone in my back pocket as the boat starts. We continue to have fun and I feel like I finally have a normal life. Pope and John B grab their respective girlfriends and throw them in the water before jumping into it with their clothes on. The smile on my face widen and I sit, looking at them with sparkling eyes and happiness running in my body.

“JJ c’mon bro, the water’s good, Thara, jump!” John B shouts out before Sarah and Kie drown him, laughing at his face when he comes back to the surface. “Guys, come on why aren’t you have a bath it’s John B’s day, let’s enjoy!” Kie looks at JJ and me as I frown and raise my shoulders. “Maybe later, I-”

“No you’re comin’ right now, sorry for you.” John B’s coming and gets back on the boat to grab me, but I stand up and back up, looking at him smiling and determined to put me into the water. “I know it’s your birthday but I’m not in the mood I got some problems and-”

“I don’t care it’s my birthday, just forget your problems.”

“It’s not that easy, if it was I knew it.” I laugh and the border of the boat stop me from back up more. “Aren’t you a little stuck?” He raises his eyebrows and at the moment where I try to run away he catches me and throws me over the boat.

A scream escapes from my mouth and I dive, coming back to the surface as soon as I can and show him my middle finger. “Man it’s the second time, when are you gonna leave me alone?” I laugh and he raises again his shoulders as an answer.

I’m home, my mother’s just came back and I didn’t have the time to shower so lets pray, because if she smells the scent of the salt water on my hair I’m dead. We’re in front of the TV with Alyssa when she comes into the room and looks at me nastily. “I apologized, I’m sorry, no need to look at me-”

“Stop.” I grit my teeth a she continues to stare at me like I was nothing. “Please stop because you have no idea what Dad said to me, I think now I understand how I’m the shame of the family.”

“Whatever he told you, you certainly deserved it young girl. You can’t get out of this house, is it clear?”

“Yes, just leave me alone, your all always on my back and I’m tired of-”

“Don’t speak to me like that Thara, I am not responsible of your acts, you wanna be treated like an adult so be an adult, don’t behave like a capricious five years-old girl.”

I don’t respond and let her talk, I don’t want to be arrogant or disrespectful towards her, but with Dad they’re way to harsh on me lately, for nothing. “I hope you enjoyed your little trip because it’ll be the last one before a long time.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Cooler than everything I did with you at least. I must go, I have things to do. Good night.” I stand up and walk to the stairs under the cold look of my dear mother. “Because you don’t eat tonight?”

“No, the call of Dad put me off the food, enjoy the meal without your ridiculous and naive little girl, you’ll be chilled, just the four of you without me.”

I join my room and sigh as I press my back over the door. I don’t know why but every time I’m arguing my heartbeats are so quick that I can barely breath…

My mind suddenly make me think about the gun that I saw in my Dad’s office the other day. I let myself slide against the door and the fact that to have a gun in my house is certainly not a good thing hit me. Why do he owns a fucking gun? Did he killed people? Is it only to protect us?

And, what are they so close to? What could I mess up? All this questions are invading my mind, and I start to imagine a whole bunch of horrible things they could do. Are they really at the head of a vineyard or is it something else? Like a drug network. Oh my God, no, that’s not possible. Is this like, a quest to find someone? And are they killing people who knows to much or who don’t know anything?

Are Isaac and Alyssa aware of this damn secret? No, Aly would talk to me about it, I’m almost sure of it. But what if Isaac is in, and not Alyssa because they know that I’m closer to her than to Isaac?

The whole thing is saying that they’re fucking scared of me or of what I could do. And it’s obvious, I’m rejected of everything, they all can go outside, so maybe they’re meeting somewhere to talk about drug, or about a dark business like killing people for money, or anything else.

I wince and a feeling of being sick is taking me, as I feel more and more sickened by all this thing. I don’t have any proof, except the gun, and this conversation, but I need to know more about this thing that they’re hiding from me.

It’s later in the evening, I had a shower and finished my book, but I have to admit my stomach hurts so bad, the lack of food in my body’s gonna killing me if I don’t eat anything before sleep, so I decided to go to the kitchen.

The thing is, on my way I heard voices in my Dad’s office, and I’m actually listening to a conversation between my whole family, without me. Everything’s OK. I can’t hear everything but it’s so weird, they’re talking about some gold and places where it could be hiding at the moment. Neither my family’s completely crazy nor I’m off beam. “We’re really close, I think we’re on the right path.”

Be on the right path for what? This “gold”. I can’t believe that shit, there’s no gold on this island, nothing. I sigh, tired of waiting in front of the door since forever, and go to the kitchen to get me some food. The chocolate catch my eyes but I hold myself back and pick a fruit smoothie and some pancakes.

The door’s opening and the voices get louder. They’re pretty good actors though, I’d never though they were hiding something big from me.

“What are you doing here this late?”

“Hi, Dad, how are you since our little call? I hope it felt good to insult me and unleashed your anger at me.”

“Don’t start to get on my nerves and go to sleep.”

“Yeah, because I’m ridiculous, I play the perfect little girl. Or maybe the coward, I don’t remember.”

“Thara please, I got a long day.”

“Oh, me too. At least I have friends to talk to, we’re not all lonely as fuck.” I don’t bat an eye and he loudly sigh as I walk next to him.” Good night, daddy.

Maybe sometimes they’ll understand what I want them to understand, in other word that I want to be treated like Isaac and Alyssa, not like a little capricious girl. I’m not this kind of person but they keep on pretending I am in front of everyone. Anyway I come back to my room and eat my snack before putting myself under my sheets and fall asleep like a baby.

Footsteps don’t stop to resonate since an eternity and even if I managed to fall back asleep three times this night with these sounds and my Dad’s voice, I’m not gonna do it a fourth time. I get up, the floor is freezing my whole body as I slowly walk to my door to open it and glance over the corridor. Nothing. He’s downstairs, fuck…

I walk like a zombie to join the stairs but the front door’s opening make me stop, even step back a little not to be seen. What the hell… Two men are coming in as my Dad’s welcoming them discreetly, they talk a little, whispering, and I can’t hear anything from where I am.

Their loud footsteps make me think they’re joining the living room, or the kitchen, and they start to talk aloud. Who are they? And what the fuck are they talking about at 4pm… I sit on the first step of the stairs and listen with attention their conversation.

The gold again, what’s the point? Is really there some million dollars hiding somewhere on the island? No way, that’s just not possible, not in our world. We’re not in a movie.

“Thara, what are you doing here?”

hii! sorry for the little waiting, i finally saw my family bc lockdown is over in France, i took a lil bit of time for me. this chapter's not good but i worked a lot on the plot lately, a lot of thing's gonna happen soon, at least i hope ^^

i hope everything's good for you, i hope your family's good too and, yeah, love uu thank u to read me, byye!

#outerbanks #pogue #kook #secret #johnb #pope heyward #jj maybank #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #mystery #gold

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the-wardens-torch · 5 years

Photo

HEYYY its that awesome detailed character profile meme that was going around 2-3 months ago! Which is when @theseventhdawn tagged me with it. Sorry for taking forever. Long work weeks and ShB have killed me but its lovely to rekindle those OC feels. As for people to tag who haven’t been tagged already; @luckiselki (whichever of your characters you like!) and @helboar

Pronunciation: fal-uhr-in are-sit-uh.

Nicknames: Just… Fal. His adopted mother was known to call him “Sunny Blue” now and then. Short-lived inside joke names include Local Fal and Lord of the Pants. (I wish I could say that someone once called him Fail-urine Fartcita, but he’s never had a 90s high school sit com bully.)

Height: 5’11

Age: 22

Zodiac: Virgo (Sept 16 - I chose September entirely because its Azeyma’s dedicated month in Eorzean astrology.)

Languages: Common, Seeker Miqo’te Huntspeak (woefully out of practice,) a few words/phrases/songs in other languages (he‘s particularly proud of the Xaelic folk songs he‘s picked up recently. )

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

Hair: Black, straight and waist-length with messy fringe and sideburns. Usually worn in a loose braid or ponytail - he knows a few more complex hair-braiding techniques, but he somehow just can’t manage to do them on his own hair.

Eyes: Bright royal blue; hooded and on the long and narrow side.

Skin tone: A sort of burnt sienna with darker freckles on his cheeks, shoulders and back.

Body type: Especially long and skinny for a Hyur - he weighs less than most Hyurs his height. Has a bit of lean muscle on his arms and legs from doing a lot of traveling and archery practice as a kid.

Accent: South Seas

Dominant hand: Right

Posture: Very loose and casual with friendly, open body language and liberal use of gestures in conversation. Often shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Rarely stands/sits up totally straight. Seems incapable of sitting in a chair and keeping both of his feet on the floor at the same time.

Scars: A very noticeable one over his left eye running from hairline to mid-cheek, a smaller one along his jaw line (usually covered by his sideburns) and a third horizontally crossing his right shoulder.

Tattoos: None

Most noticeable features: Most people are taken aback by how deep his voice is if they hear him at roughly the same time they see him. Other than that, the color of his eyes is rather striking, and he’s kind of an odd dresser… Pointy mage hats, skirts, crop tops, leather jewelry, etc.

CUT BECAUSE I AM SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT CLOGGING UR DASH.

CHILDHOOD.

Place of birth: Cieldalaes islands.

Hometown: A small port town from which he derives his last name.

Manner of birth: Covert.

First words: “song”

Siblings: He has two half-brothers and one half-sister on his mother’s side, all older by at least 5 years… I haven’t named them or given them personalities, and they don’t know about him… yet.

Parents: Mother Roxane Seaborne; Inn manager living in the Cieldalaes whom he has never met. Father Uther Alcyone; Arcanist living in Idyllshire from whom he was estranged until very recently.

Parental involvement: He hasn’t seen his mother since his birth - it broke her heart to give him away, although she gave up her feelings for his father shortly after he was conceived. She feels tremendously guilty for what she did and bemoans her selfishness to this day.

His father (despite knowing about him from his birth) only started to show an interest in him a year or two ago (when he started displaying magical talent.) Fal is trying to salvage a relationship from this but isn’t holding his breath - dad’s interest in him seems to be purely intellectual.

He was mostly raised by one N‘elyrha Kikitu, a Miqo’te Bard - she took good care of him and instilled in him self-assurance and a great passion for stories and song, but they were always traveling, and she tried to raise him tough and independent… Which is probably why he craves affection and intimacy.

ADULT LIFE

Occupation: Freelance musician and leatherworker. He’ll moonlight as an adventurer now and then, (Arcanist/Summoner) but only for a damn good reason.

Current residence: Eidolons free company house, the lavender beds… I forgot his address.

Close friends: Reonora Aestethe, Sunnthota Rymmharrwyn, T’Majaan Tia, likely your character if I weren’t so scared to RP.

Relationship status: Restlessly single.

Financial status: Can afford food, a single room, and the occasional splurge… most of the time.

Driver’s license: He’s inexperienced, but he likes to ride and is getting the hang of it.

Criminal record: Trespassing, vagrancy, loitering, public nudity nuisance - all your basic hobo crimes.

Vices: Casual sex.

SEX & ROMANCE.

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Romantic orientation: Panromantic

Preferred emotional role: submissive | dominant | switch (he adapts well.)

Preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed (there I finally said it.)

Turn ons: Fal’s a sexual character but honestly I’m just not any good at portraying that side of him. Errr… if my tiny bit of writing that includes his sex life is any indication, he’s attracted to awkwardly sincere men and bold, witty women. Apparently he also has a thing for backless clothing.

Turn offs: Condescension, entitlement, dominant/pushy personalities, touching his hair without asking.

Love language: His hands will always be on you/all over you, whether those hands are chastely patting your shoulders or clamped lewdly on your ass. Lots of reassuring pats, hugs, face touches, fingers in your hair, etc. Looking at you silently and smiling. Small, eclectic gifts (single flowers, pieces of brightly colored sea glass, handmade trinkets, feathers, scribbled out lines of old poems, etc.) because he “saw it and thought of you.” Lots of songs sung to you for the same reason.

Relationship tendencies: He tends to think of sex and romance as separate concepts that fulfill different needs. He loves emotional involvement but believes it’s really hard to do and hurts a lot when it goes bad… Sometimes you just need to get railed into the next astral era without any strings attached (I’m sure there’s a shibari or generalized BDSM joke in here somewhere but I don‘t think that’s his thing hahaffff.) If he found a relationship where he could get both from the same person at the same time, it’d be the Best. Thing. Ever.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Hobbies to pass the time: Leatherwork, dropping in at friends’ houses unexpectedly, occasional archery and botany - just to clear his mind and keep his skills sharp. He’s also recently started to read extensively - mostly poetry and literature from around the world (if he can find it translated into common that is.)

Mental illnesses: None.

Physical illnesses: Meat “allergy” - eating flesh of any sort causes him acute gastrointestinal distress. This annoys him greatly and he still tries to eat meat every few years to see if he’s “grown out of it.” He hasn’t.

Fears: Abandonment and loss most of all. He also hates walking on elevated flooring that moves (scaffolding, suspension bridges, etc.) especially if he can see the ground through it.

Self confidence level: Mostly good. He knows that he‘s likeable and good at what he does, and is generally pretty comfortable with himself and his life. He’s totally fearless in social situations and while performing - its pretty hard to intimidate, heckle, shame, demoralize or embarrass him. In combat situations is another story. He hasn’t enjoyed a single fight he’s been in, though he’s reasonably good at throwing his comrades off of his trail with quips and witty remarks - just because he likes being with them and doesn’t want them to worry.

Vulnerabilities: Doesn’t know when to shut up. Emotionally impulsive. Hides/bottles up negative emotions with occasional disastrous results. Can crumple under stress (especially battlefield stress.) Powerful but unrefined and uneducated when it comes to magic.

#character memes #falerin arcita

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youthblamed-a · 5 years

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character sheet

BASICS.

full name. maxim levi ilyichov pronunciation. mak-sim lee-vigh il-yich-ov nickname. goes by his middle name to those outside of his family for most of his youth because he thinks it’s easier for english folk to pronounce. his family ( and anyone else who’s very involved in his life outside of school ) often call him max, and he probably starts going by that as an adult, but he has no real preference for what people call him. may also sometimes use his mother’s maiden name ( blotts ) for the same reason gender. male height. 5′11 age. all of the ages but my threads usually end up being either around 17-19 or like 35 zodiac. cancer ( and it shows ) spoken languages. russian ( first ), english ( second )

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour. brown with copper undertones eye colour. dark brown skin tone. on the paler side, but not notably pale. body type. very slender with decent muscle tone and long, long and limbs, moderate hyperextension in the knees and elbows, naturally flexible spine accent. british ( standard + a touch of east end london ) with a little hint of foreign-ness that is only audible sometimes and you probably wouldn’t be able to identify dominant hand. right posture. very natural, if that makes sense — straight and proud in the spine, but relaxed in the shoulders. he doesn’t use his posture to try to stand out or to blend in with the background, he just allows his body to exist in the space it takes up without too much thought tattoos. a hummingbird ( his patronus ) on the left side of his ribcage, and a small, simple line tattoo of the golden gate bridge on the back of his right shoulder blade most noticeable feature. cliche but his smile is quite radiant. other than that he lets his hair get a little long more often than not

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. st. petersburg, russia ( at the time named leningrad ) hometown. london. manner of birth. natural siblings. one brother older by two years, mikhail, who doesn’t lack kindness, but is much more cerebral and introverted. parents. isabella blotts and alexander ilyichov parental involvement. he went to boarding school like apparently every witch and wizard, but otherwise, his family is pretty close-knit. though he’s close to both parents, levi is closest with his father, since they are both the emotional type, while his mother and older brother share a more intellectual bond. levi knows how lucky he is to have two parents who love and accept him unconditionally, and will often welcome people who aren’t so lucky to come home with him so that they can feel the love

ADULT LIFE.

occupation. i’m still kind of figuring out how medicine fits into the wizarding world, but they must have something roughly equivalent to a family medical practitioner rather than having only the healers for emergencies that we see in the books,,, either way it’s still being figured out but he has some sort of hospital related career and then teaches medicine after that current residence. depends on age but after he finishes school at hogwarts he stays lives in san francisco for the rest of his education before settling in another british city ( at the moment it’s edinburgh ) close friends. still figuring that out lol, but if anyone wants to plot a close friendship, please let me know!! relationship status. single / depends financial status. middle class driver’s license. yes, he gets it at 19 or 20 years old ( + also a license to apparate at 17 ) criminal record. none but trespassing and class b drug possession should probably be on there vices. an occasional-semi frequent smoker even though he’s very aware of how terrible it is for you

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. bisexual, like a kinsey 4 romantic orientation. ^ preferred emotional role. submissive | dominant | switch | unknown preferred sexual role. submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed ( whatever makes his partner happy ) libido. average to high turn ons. mostly emotional intimacy, lots of kissing and a good bit of eye contact where possible, and a tiny bit of having his hair petted/pulled, but he also does enjoy being bitten. he mostly enjoys sex that is loving + intense where he and his partner just get lost in each other ( even if they aren’t necessarily “in love” ) turn off’s. tbh he’s pretty vanilla so a lot of things would freak him out especially if sprung upon him, like anything that involves causing genuine pain with an object that isn’t part of ur body, or anything involving uncertain/ambiguous consent either way. love language. soft touches; small, silent favors that make his partner’s day better with no grand gesture; kisses behind the ear and on the back of the shoulder; devotion that doesn’t need to be spoken or flaunted; always holding hands; plenty of praise, but love that doesn’t need words to be expressed relationship tendencies. always wants to be the caretaker/emotional protector of his relationships; usually the first one to say “I love you”; can sometimes struggle to differentiate between whether he’s feeling something platonic or romantic because he just has a lot of love for a lot of people; also can be very easily manipulated with the promise of love; tends to let the other person dictate the dynamic/speed/seriousness of the relationship - he’ll go with just about anything to please someone else

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. there are So Many but colourway by novo amor and holocene by on iver do a good job of capturing his energy (catch the whole playlists here) hobbies to pass the time. he’s definitely the notebook keeping type, but they aren’t pretty lol, more just a collection of thoughts written very messily ( he might not even know what they say when he reads back on them ) in a mixture of languages, cut outs and photographs tucked between the pages, musical notation that he’ll probably never develop further, and bad ( b a d ) drawings. he also loves to fly, not only for quidditch but just to be in the air/around nature, and he’s alright but not well practiced at playing the piano. also just a total daydreamer. mental illnesses. none physical illness. needs glasses to read idk if that counts left or right brained. probably left fears. being unloved/unloveable, instability/loss of peace self confidence level. for the most part, healthy + realistic. in terms of talents and abilities, he’s aware what he’s good at and what he could work on ( although that doesn’t necessarily move him to do anything about it ) . being incapable doesn’t concern him too much, but rather his insecurities instead center mostly around the fear of being an unlikeable person.

tagged by. @kindheir (thank you sm!) tagging. not sure who’s done this but @pluscharmant @nikolacvnas @wasntallbad @corpsepaintd @hadncchoice @murios ( for max and/or klaus ) @withoutchoice ( i had astoria or ginny in mind but for any of ur blogs!! ) anddddd i’m also tagging myself @prcdiigal

#( if anyone actually reads this tears of joy shall be shed )#( this was actually a lot of fun though )#⋆✧⋆【 a. / headcanons 】singing to the sky just felt right.#⋆✧⋆【 n. / scrapbook 】it would be too tiring to repeat it all.#long post tw

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justday1 · 2 years

Text

YOU….

I am a empty soul without life to enjoy, love to share and words to speak the truth of which i am feeling without you in my existence. I don’t think i officially cope with another soul doing what i was supposed to being doing in the beginning. I still haven’t cope with you not being completely there to laugh with, to cry with, to share stories with, and to even share a hug with. The scars that i left will be the scars that you’ll carry with you till I completely leave ur mind and spirit, the scars that i am completely ashamed and embarrassed of leaving on your broken heart. The questions i ask myself everyday is how can a person who care so much about other people then themselves hurt the person that was trying to pick up every last piece of a broken version of which i called myself. How can a person lie to someone who isn’t afraid to hear the truth. How can a person cheat on someone who just wanted to give you the world and more. How can a person manipulate, mentally and verbally abuse, laugh at them not with them, But most importantly how you sit there and watch them cry and beg you to love them. Just how can you sit there and become the monster/abuser/manipulator/cheater/lair you promised there parents you wouldn’t become while they were with you. The pain I inflicted on you was the pain your father couldn’t hold you tight enough to tell you things were gonna be okay….the pain your mother couldn’t get you out the house enough to take your mind off things, the pain your brother hated to see that even a joke couldn’t make you laugh or smile, the pain your friends tried to make you take a step back from and realize your worth before it was to late….that was the pain that I inflicted on you. The pain that only heartfelt hugs a kiss on the forehead simple but meaningful gestures that said “im here, i love you it’s gonna be okay” from the person you care so deeply about would’ve took the pain away. An all i can blame is me for being so selfish so immature so one sided so careless. Its like dropping a glass plate on a concrete ground from 10 feet and not expecting it to break. You didn’t lose hope, you didn’t give up, and you loved me for better and for worse you tried to be there humanly possible in every way. While me looking and going backwards you tried to hold my hand and go forward and never look back but i was letting go finger by finger still trying to hold on to the past that i was to afraid to throw away. I pushed you away thinking that it was the right thing to do, i pushed you away because i wanted better for you, i pushed you away because I thought i was incapable of loving a human being as beyond perfect as you, i pushed you away because i didn’t want to drag you along my insecurities that i was to in denial to accept, I pushed you away when you needed me to wipe your tears and look you straight in the eyes and tell you “i love you and I’ll always be here”. I pushed away the right person who i met at the wrong time who i will wait till the end of the earth to feel the warmth of your skin and hear the rhythm of your heartbeat from the hugs you gave that made nothing else matter expect you. Your love was remarkable your love was unexplainable your love was the meaning to live your love was true your love was real your love was the true meaning of home. Words can’t even explain the love you show the love you gave to me over the years. The love I received was love that people search every soul on this earth to find the love Albert Einstein wouldn’t be able solve the love that made you confident that love that made you YOU….the love that made you know that there is a God. Thats the love i took for granted that i stomped on and kicked that I threatened to harm myself and or others because i didn’t want to accept that your giving your love elsewhere, the love i lost but tried to fix but by that time it was to late. I’ve searched for love in the wrong places in the wrong people. People that didn’t deserve fake love and commitment from me because i’m still not over the fact that it has always been you….

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simkjrs · 6 years

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msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone”

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is

deku-niisan to the rescue :^)

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability.

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need.

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right?

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief.

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and his anger is Valid

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed”

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok!

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now??

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon,

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

#ask #ask compilation #msa stuff #msa ch5 #feedback #thank you all for the support...#some really good gems in here

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