#Anakin's INTENSE only child energy

[x-authorship-x]

"I'll die on the hill that Anakin should have been punted into the creche for a few years"

Yes! I'm so glad you agree, I wish more fics had him interacting with his agemates and being in the creche would have been good for him I think. Perhaps I'm giving him too much credit, and I've only watched those movies once and base the rest of what I know on what I get from fanfics so I could be wrong, but my read of that meeting was that Qui-Gon had intended that? He said he'll train Anakin, but 1. he had a padawan still, and 2. Anakin was 9?? That seems super, super young to be a padawan. I always found it really weird in fics that he had wanted to take Anakin on so young, and then I watched the movie and ended up finding it really weird that the council and Obi-Wan just assumed Qui-Gon meant he'd start training Anakin right then and there and toss out Obi-Wan. Why would he, that makes no sense and he never said he'd take Anakin as a padawan right then like I thought he had from fics. It seemed more to me like it was a promise or vow type thing, like he'd train Anakin when the time came so they didn't have to worry about trying to find someone who would train an unorthodox padawan. And then everyone immediately thought the worst of him so he stupidly doubled down and did not make any attempt to correct their miscommunication. From what little I know about Qui-Gon and his relationship with Obi-Wan there seemed to be a good amount of miscommunication, so this made the most sense to me that he'd be stubborn and double down when arguing with the council rather than explaining what he meant. So when he died Obi-Wan had no idea what he meant and went with what he though Qui-Gon meant and insisted Anakin be placed with him right then and there. Nevermind that he was grieving and Anakin was super baby for a padawan, honestly I'm going to blame the council here for not stepping in and saying Anakin would go to the creche for a few years, then Obi-Wan could have him. Idk I'm not even a huge fan of Qui-Gon and honestly don't know much about him, but in this case this is what seemed most likely to me when I watched it.

Oh anon I totally agree

Tbh my mind went forwards and I was thinking more.... Anakin in the creche could've fixed a lot. Like... Anakin made his own (shit) decisions, I'm definitely not an Anakin-apologist, but I do think that no one is born a certain thing and that childhood has a big knock-on effect. Putting Anakin in the creche would make transitioning from life as a slave easier, for one??? Like let's not immediately call someone else 'master' and let's socialise the kid and let's get an actual childcare specialist - not a traumatized grieving ex-padawan-turned-Knight oh my God everyone needs therapy good intentions don't automatically guarantee good outcomes - involved.

I'm not saying Kelleran Beq looks like the kinda man to rehab hurt children on the daily basis but that's exactly what I'm saying. God I love that man and his Grogu chase scene. Is Grogu in the creche yet or am I too early??? Who cares, I think Grogu would be so good for Anakin because can you imagine being the so called Chosen One but shown up by a baby. You can't fight a baby, not even Anakin (not yet rip) so you gotta just take the ego trimming and cope.

Get Anakin to learn to read and write and acclimatize, let Obi-Wan have time to establish himself as an individual, let everyone take a chill pill, and maybe the whole cast will feel better in three or four years 🙃 also this helps solve Anakin's INTENSE only child energy because Chosen One shit doesn't mean crap in the creche, being a freed slave probably isn't uncommon when you look at how a lot of force sensitive kids end up at the temple (every Jedi comes with a built in troubling backstory as standard), Anakin has friends and peers to cut his teeth on and learn patience with and how to check boundaries with and you just KNOW that those creche kids have so many lessons on Stranger Danger-!

qui-gon the future we couldve had if you choked out a few more words lmao

Also I like to imagine that anakin's first language is Huttese and he only knows enough Basic to understand customers and Watto etc so in my mind the council meeting SHOULDVE derailed when Anakin can't understand a word they're saying and the whole timeline careens towards 'lets get this freed child slave his vaccines and a primary school teacher before deciding the words of destiny, yes?'

Qui-Gon: *finally asks something not related to customer service, basic conversational vocab, or mechanics*

Anakin: ....uhhhhhhh

Qui-Gon, off camera: I was so lost in the euphoria of finding the Chosen One that I temporarily forgot I existed in a world with slavery and other languages haha-

Obi-Wan: *face down in a dune in the BG*

The end :)

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #star wars #qui gon #anakin #Anakin's INTENSE only child energy #obi wan

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

#everyone feel free to use these i crave more time travel fics #the sheer power qui gon would have as a fully communicating force ghost before and during the clone wars is astounding #qui gon with baby obi wan is like inconsolable sobs cause he never saw him this small and then his life was so sad and he couldnt even hug #him on tatooine but now look at his boy!!! so small and huggable!!!! #they absolutely weaponise baby obi against others his wet cat eyes are 1000% stronger now #they drop him in dookus lap like look grandpadawan:) #if you hold the grandpadawan maybe your sith behaviour will calm down :/ #anyway them together is like they throw enough bullshit into the air to blind everyone while they speedrun important changes in the back #after naboo is like everyone offering obi wan condolences and obi responding yeah im going to need them the fucker wont stay down #star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #fic ideas #time travel shenanigans #codywan #anakin skywalker #disaster lineage #count dooku

[rufflesandbows]

The Handmaiden

As Padme's handmaiden and decoy, you expect there to be a few mishaps, a few mix-ups. Especially when you're in the full Queen's garb and makeup. What you don't expect is the newly made Jedi Knight to make that mistake. The accident leaves your head spinning for more reasons than you want.

Anakin Skywalker X Reader Word Count: 1400 Warnings: Mildly dubious consent, mistaken identity, forced kiss/groping/grinding

The Queen was utilizing you an awful lot these days. You sat upon her couch, scrolling through a datapad of her latest emails, dressed in full Naboo royal garb and makeup. All to await a few delegates that Padme hated dealing with. You offered to take her place but it was your job to take her place, not that you wanted to. The task was just as grueling for you. Made so because per Padme’s decree, you had to remain pacifistic while in her place. There were a few on the Senate who didn’t deserve pacifism. Not when they continued to treat you- Padme , as a child.

You all didn’t fight in retaking Naboo from the Trade Federation and their droid army to be treated so disrespectfully. How Padme could stand it was a mystery.

The emails were to try and distract you until the time came to humor Hasana, Torie and Jen-ros. The three were all close ‘friends’, if that was a word that could be used among senate members, and wanted to make Padme a forth and their whipping girl. The agitation was building in you with each passing minute. A small headache starting to form, and it would only get worse when they arrived. 

The bell rang on the door and it surprised you. They shouldn’t be here for another thirty minutes. You were alone in the Queens quarters because the trio complained in the past about all the handmaidens being a distraction from the gossip. You strongly disagreed with Padme being left alone with them, but that got circumvented when you took her place. The others were all gone to lunch with Padme, leaving you to begrudgingly answer it, hoping it was anyone else.

As the sliding doors opened, you were surprised to see Anakin of all people. Though you kept calm, you did feel a heat warming your cheeks at the sight of him. “I’m surprised to see you here. Is everything alright?”

You hated to admit it even to yourself, but he had grown quite handsome in the time apart. For so long you only remembered him as that high-spirited and charitable little boy. Even then his adoration of Padme was clear. You were there when he asked if she was an angel, and you had to stifle your laughter, teasing Padme about it for years. When Obi-wan introduced him as his padawan, well, she got the opportunity to mock you in return as you couldn’t stop mentioning how tall he was and how much he’s changed, clear awe and captivation in your eyes. Though, that had come to a stop recently. And you were perceptive of all your Queen’s changes and attitudes. 

Anakin strode in, glancing around the room. His intense energy made you nervous. “Is anyone else here?”

“No. But a group of delegates will be arriving in about thirty minutes.”

He sighed, “Good. I need you.”

“What-” You barely took in his words out of confusion, barely got your question out before suddenly his lips were covering yours, his hands cupping your neck to hold you against him. Your shock came as an audible moan because he was pressed so tightly against your mouth, clinging feverishly. 

So, this was why Padme had been acting so strangely lately. A secret affair with a newly made Jedi Knight? What was she thinking?! 

As much as it, well, it did feel nice to be kissed with such intense desire, you stumbled back trying to get a breath in to explain you weren’t Padme. Anakin followed you step by step, until your back hit the wall and he locked you against it, his kisses fast and deep. They were delightfully suffocating. His hands dropped to your body, feeling you through the Queen’s dress. Buried under the layers your skin was alight with sensation. His touch, his body pinning you, his kisses wetting your lips and each smack burning hot in your ears because you knew. You had to stop him. None of it was for you. Misunderstanding or not, it would wound Padme if she stumbled on this. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, not for a moment.” Every hushed word brushed your damp lips, every few punctuated with another kiss, as if he was deliberately trying to stop you from talking in reply. You clung to his jedi robes, unable to stop the pleasured whimper that bubbled up your throat when he pressed his thigh between yours, your core aching in response. A hot sigh ghosted down your chin, his words ever more desperate, as if he might cry if you told him to stop. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry, I know you said to take things slow, but I need you so badly.”

Your breath was quick, finding your voice and it sounded so small, “A-Anakin I’m-”

He swallowed your words on his tongue, a thrill hitting you hard as the silk waves languidly ran along your own. Coaxing you to fall deeper into him. Filling your head with a weightless light. Your eyes rolled back and fluttered as he ground against you, drinking you up. Your skin was tingling, your body wanting to press into his relentless attention. You’d be melting on the floor if he wasn’t holding you. 

But this needed to end before he tried to go any further. With numb hands, you pushed on his chest but Anakin was a solid wall, and he only dug in more, bowing down to practically lift you off the floor in his tight embrace. Your hands slipped a little higher, pushing against his shoulders and slowly he started to relent. You managed to push him off enough to barely call out, “Mm-mnot Padme!” 

Finally, it gave him pause. Anakin took back. His eyes blew wide open with horror before throwing himself back from you. He covered his mouth, his face blooming red. “Oh! Oh I’m so sorry!”

You were in no better state, your whole body burning, the queenly voice gone and a nervous giggle lacing your every word, “A misunderstanding is bound to happen. That’s what all the make up is for, after all.” It didn’t seem to calm him any, looking around the room as if he’d been set up and Padme might jump out at any moment. “Really Anakin, it’s nothing to worry about it. A genuine accident.”

Anakin was struggling to catch his breath, unable to look at you he was so mortified, unable to stop moving around and fidgeting as he tried to deal with all that energy he stirred up. “I’m very sorry if I frightened you, or made you uncomfortable-”

“It’s nothing, really! An understandable accident. I won’t hold it against you.” You smiled to him but you couldn’t stop smiling. Either by nerves or all the adrenaline now pumping through your body. With a hand over your stomach, flutters and quick thudding making you a little nauseous, you went to the desk and explained. “There’s a few delegate’s on their way that Padme can’t stand, so I’m sitting in for her. She went to have lunch at a nearby restaurant- uh, here.” You grabbed a spare datapad and typed in the coordinates, handing it to him and hoping he didn’t notice the slight trembling of the pad. 

“Thank you.” He practically whispered, looking it over, all his concentration on the directions. You could see the lump in his throat bob as he swallowed thickly, and you wondered what you might taste like to him, a fresh flush hitting you for thinking such a thing at all. He could only give you the briefest glance and nod before turning to leave.

“Uh- um-” When Anakin looked back, you hesitantly handed him a handkerchief. “You’ve got some of the uh, makeup on you.”

Red and white smeared on his lips and chin, a bit on his cheek. He’d tried to wipe it away earlier, maybe more concerned with how wet the makeout had gotten, but it clung steadily. The blush came back in full bloom as Anakin went to the nearest mirror and thoroughly wiped the evidence away. Bashfully, he came and handed the stained handkerchief back. “You might want to-” 

He motioned to his now clean face and you could only imagine the state your makeup was in. Your face burned as you looked down, “Y-yes. Of course.”

As he walked away, you very nearly said, say hi to Padme for me , and quickly realized that was maybe not the thing to bring up after what just happened. But it was only an accident. It didn’t mean anything. Anakin said nothing as he left. The last you saw of him was getting back in the elevator and rubbing down his blushing red face with both hands. 

So you can stop it here or continue on with the story on A03 The Handmaiden

It's slow burn af, just so you know! I think some will enjoy it as just a little ditty, but if you enjoyed it at all, I'd love to know!

#star wars imagine #star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #my writing

[tideswept]

Trick or treat!!

From this ask game | Hi nonnie! thank you for coming back!

🌙 ᴀɴ�� ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ɪs…! 🫀

Tatooinian Glass Artist Canon Divergence Obikin AU

(ok, that was a mouthful, but you'll understand in a second. Also, shoutout to @grapenehifics for putting the idea of glass into my head.) Glass is extremely important in Tatooinian culture, both for the slaves and the slavers. Sand is one of the few things they're in abundance of, so once upon a time, they thrived as crafters. But when demand for their craft died, so did the workshops, the artists--after all, making glass takes water, and that's not something they can waste.

So most glass is passed from long ago, or made in very tiny quantities. The knowledge is forgotten, and the tools simply don't exist.

Enter Anakin, who, incidentally, is a child of the Force who can blast pure concentrated energy enough to melt sand. It's fun. It's pretty! He gifts his first piece to his mother. Then to the other slaves. Finally, a good use for sand, he thinks proudly every time someone is overjoyed when he slips the glass into their hand.

But the glass bits that Anakin creates aren't simply glass; they're Force-attuned glass. Not in the way kyber is, not that strong, but the potential is there.

And it's in the hands of a small slave boy doing it for fun.

Eventually, Shmi realizes that her son's creations are dangerous. Both ideologically and quite literally. Glass, to the people of Tatooine, means prosperity. It means worth of the sea that surrounds them. It means a life before there were slavers oppressing them.

And not to put a fine point on it, but it doesn't take much engineering to turn Anakin's glass into a weapon.

They can use this to fight back.

Several years later, the Hutts are dead. Tatooine outlaws slavery. Then the Clone Wars start, which doesn't make them happy. They didn't just win their freedom only to be ground under the heel of war.

Their elected leader, Shmi Skywalker, contacts the Order. She has a proposition for them. Something they'd be very interested in looking into.

And she sends a small, perfectly round marble that shines like a supernova in the Force.

General Kenobi and his Padawan are sent to Tatooine to speak with Skywalker. Where did she get this? How is it possible? Shmi is not willing to divulge anything she doesn't have to without negotiating first. If the Order wants to know the secret behind the glass, she has demands.

Obi-Wan reluctantly agrees. The Order has to understand what this is before the Separatists discover it. And upon the deal being sealed, he meets Master Glasssmith Anakin Skywalker--Shmi's gorgeous, snarky, intensely curious (and just plain intense) son, who can create beautiful Force-attuned glass with Force-lightning, stars preserve them.

(is this anything?)

#ask game #obikin

[multistoty]

@arandomnerdsrp358​

Padme couldn’t help smiling as she watched the twins play with the little girl only a few months younger. The stuffed loth cat that Leia adored was curently in the mouth of the little blonde girl at her side. She hoped that they stayed as close as their father’s for years now Padme loved the entire Kenobi family. She had even spent months reading up on the history of the mandalore systems when the nightmares were too much. Luke seemed focused on the blocks that he was holding. His little brow furrow and intense blue eyes were so much like Anakin that made her smile. The cup of cafe in her hands was a bit lukewarm now though it felt good to be in the orbit of close friends without the insanity of their husbands and Ahsoka or attempted murder hanging over them. The twins were energized and a bundle of chaotic energy. Not to say they were any different than the dear little girl that felt like their cousins. The child was so peaceful in a way she had only ever seen with the elder jedi master. Maybe it was some force connection her and the duchess wouldn’t understand. “It’s nice to be at peace for a little bit. Well as peaceful as we can be with the younglings now that they learned to walk and put everything in their mouths. I almost had a heart attack when Luke attempted to play with his dad’s screw driver and unfinished project. We already have to take care of our husbands now that it isn’t a secret anymore.”

[bookish-enneagram]

Anakin Skywalker | Sexual Type Nine | Full Profile

Basic Fear: Of loss and separation; of annihilation

Basic Desire: To maintain their inner stability and peace of mind

Superego Message: "You are good or okay as long as those around you are good or okay."

Focus of Attention: on others, on what is going on in the environment, and on avoiding conflict and achieving harmony.

Passion: Sloth

Anakin lived a life that was entirely for other people. Specifically those close to him; his mother, Obi-Wan, Padme, Chancellor Palpatine, Ashoka, and eventually Luke. Anakin was known for how much he loved and cared for these individuals, and in reality he merged with them and their needs. All Nines need to merge with something on account of their passion, which I will explain. Unlike a Self-Preservation Nine, who merges with physical comforts and routines, or a Social Nine who merges with the group, Anakin merges with specific individuals, like a classic Sexual, or One-to-One Nine.

We will start by acknowledging his greatest fear, and what drove him to the Dark Side; his fear of loss. Anakin had this fear going back to when he was a child. His mother was his whole life and, like any child, it pained him to leave her, telling her he’d come back for her. This sense of loss extended to Obi-Wan, Palpatine, Ashoka, and Padme. We see in the Revenge of the Sith novelization, which I highly recommend, how much he worries about Obi-Wan and Palpatine. With Padme, it’s much more obvious. He was willing to do anything, even monstrous things, to avoid losing her. This was a product of his disintegration to Six.

To start this section out, not all Nines disintegrating to Six will commit mass genocide and kill children. Rather this is a fictional event. However, the causes behind the action are definitely from his disintegration. At the beginning of Revenge of the Sith, he is at Level 4 of type Nine’s Levels of Development. He is accommodating to his friends and the Jedi council and somewhat lacks a will of his own, which we will discuss more later.

When he has the dream about Padme, he starts freaking out and goes into frantic action. The only way he’s okay is if she’s okay. It is unbelievably accurately stated in this excerpt by Don Richard Riso:

“At Level 4, Nines are busy accommodating themselves to the wishes and expectations of others. They put their own agendas on the “back burner” and comply with other people’s demands in order to reduce the possibility of conflicts. When circumstances cause their anxieties to increase, they may well go to Six and engage in lots of “organizational activity.” Like average Sixes, they attempt to stabilize their environment and their relationships in order to make them safer. They may get into intensive periods of work, investing their time and energy in activities they believe will enhance their security, and thus their peace of mind. These actions are guided not by positive intention, however, but by anxiety. They also begin to identify more strongly with protectors, supporters, groups, or ideas that increase their self-confidence and give them a feeling of purpose and direction.”

He works so hard to prevent Padme’s death, so far as joining the Sith, to enhance his security and peace of mind by having the power to keep her alive. It’s all guided by a sense of anxiety fueled by a fear of loss. Now, regarding his self-confidence. I believe what looked like arrogance near the end of the movie was part of his move to Six. He began to identify more with Palpatine and his beliefs and less with the Jedi. This gave him purpose and direction by giving him a sense of justification for all that was being done. As if he was doing the right thing. “The Jedi are evil”, “I’ve brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire”, and “if you’re not with me, you’re my enemy” are some examples of this self-confidence. You could say he even merged with Darth Vader.

Another extremely important thing to mention which I vaguely mentioned earlier is the Passion of the Nine. The Passion is one of the most important things in finding a person or character’s Enneagram type. For Anakin, the Passion is Sloth. This may seem odd, considering he is a human. But Sloth in this regard is an inattention to self, not the animal. Now, this plays out in various ways depending on the subtype, whether Sexual, Social, or Self-Preservation. For Anakin, a Sexual type, his attention is focused on close relationships, as I said earlier. He completely merges with those close to him and they become his focus of attention, not his own wants or needs. He does seem more willful and assertive than a classic Sexual Nine, but that is due to his Eight wing, which conflicts with the Nine in that it gives Nines with an Eight wing more of an instinctual drive, as stated below:

“Nines with an Eight-wing are more sensual and instinctive than the Nines with a One-wing, and tend to operate more on feelings and hunches. They tend to embody more the easygoing demeanor associated with Nines, but also give the impression of being more “physical,” more grounded. This is one of the most difficult subtypes to understand because the component types are in such diametrical opposition to each other.”

Darth Vader. The typing is exactly the same and I will tell you why. Nothing has changed about him. He just has no one, no purpose. He deteriorates to an extremely unhealthy Nine, specifically Level 9, and it takes him finding out about Luke to bring him back. Some lines from Riso about Level 9 Nines below:

“They disintegrate as persons into the most extreme state of dissociation from who they are. As we have seen, their receptive orientation to life has facilitated their flight from self-awareness. Now, they completely flee from themselves. In most cases, neurotic Nines unconsciously abandon themselves as whole persons, reinvesting consciousness into various fragments of themselves, each of which may represent an aspect of the self which has been repressed and denied and undeveloped. Memories, dreamlike trances, and emotional reactions seem to come and go at random. It is as though the very structure of the personality has come “unglued” or broken apart, and only its constituents remain to interact with the environment. To abandon themselves as persons, retreating into complete dissociation and fragmenting their personalities, is a “solution” of sorts, because then it is not really they who live but someone else through whom they can live. We have seen that average Nines tend to live through the other; now we see that they live through the other-self, the fragments of the self which are little more than the disconnected identifications and relationships with significant others from the Nine’s past. The core self has been so traumatized that it is as though in a dream without a dreamer. This can hardly be called living. Furthermore, because one of the subpersonalities can do harm to other people or to itself, this is neither a safe nor truly adaptive way to live. Moreover, Nines who so feared losing or separating from others have not only psychologically done so, they have also separated from and lost themselves.”

As well as:

“Unhealthy Nines with an Eight-wing are capable of violence with little concern about the consequences of their actions. Aggressions and id impulses are strong in people of this subtype, and when they are emotionally unstable, there is little ego strength left to regulate these forces.”

Basically, Vader lost who he was. It isn’t him, he’s broken and dissociated from his true self; the helpful, caring friend, mentor, and husband. His whole outlook changes when he finds out about Luke. He is given purpose again. He tries to have him join him and have them rule the galaxy as father and son. His last act is saving the son that brought him back to the light, and all of this makes him a pretty damn good character all around.

#star wars #darth vader #anakin skywalker #enneagram #enneagram 9

[thebadbatch]

The Bad Batch: Soft Universe

Chapter One - Just like you.

Sudden waves of calm sent drastic waves throughout the Havoc Marauder, the newly dubbed Attack Shuttle that five advanced clones called home along with a smaller clone, a child with pure generation I DNA who also called the ship her home.

The calm waves were well welcomed among those within the ship, they had only just completed a mission that had been given to them by Cid, a rather dangerous mission at that. Yes, they were used to blaster fire, it was in their blood to adjust to it.

They were literally made to contribute their own blue fire to intertwine and drown out the blazing red bullets that threatened many on an unfortunate daily basis. Despite how they were made, every clone needed a break after a while, especially the young clone - or so they had thought anyway.

"That was Amazing!" Omega Squealed, rushing over to the others who had thrown themselves into their assigned seats in the cockpit absolutely drained after their Solid twelve hour mission. "Don't you guys think So too?" She took a Sharp breath in, channelling her energy through her legs as she rushed to each individual member of the batch. "You were all so Cool! And did you see me with my bow? I'm getting so much better at it, aren't I crosshair?" Her large eyes darted toward crosshair who was currently slumped against his chair, a new toothpick against his teeth. 

"I Suppose so." He mumbled, looking away from her energy filled eyes and focusing on the calmer view of the billions of Stars that littered the Space before them. Omega's previous smile Somehow got even bigger at Crosshair 's mumbled praise. 

"You did great, kid!" Wrecker beamed, going toward Omega and patting her back with a lot less force compared to the other members, but due to her Small size she still stumbled a little which caused a laugh to leave her lips. "And it's the end of the mission so you know what that means!" She practically became the beaming twin Suns of Tatooine at this point.

"Mantell Mix!" She Shrieked, bouncing in her Place as Wrecker laughed at her enthusiasm. Suddenly Hunter chimed in, turning around in his chair and rubbing his head, the Previous mission leaving him with a Simple patch of bacta on his arm and an absolute killer headache due to the planet's atmosphere messing with his senses. 

"Is Mantell Mix really the best idea with Omega?" His voice chimed in, "She's already excited enough I don't think Sugar will help." Omega and Wrecker Stared sadly toward their Squads leader, Pouting a little at his disapproval.

"But it's tradition!" Wrecker intersected, a bouncing omega next to him clinging to his side to encourage him to change his mind, they just had to have their Mantell Mix It was the only option. "And it makes the kid happy." Hunter let out a Sigh, rubbing his head a little more and giving them both a rather Persistent gaze.

"Are you sure it's just the kid that makes it happy?" He asked, referencing Wrecker who's eyes always lit up at the sight of the sweet tasting treat, he just crossed his arms in response though.

"The Mantell mix should be fine, She seems to be experiencing an adrenaline rush due to the intensity of the Mission." Tech Paused for a moment, fiddling with the datapad that laid within his grip. "Symptoms may include a rapid heart rate, Sweating, heightened senses and of course the most obvious ones of rapid breathing, decreased ability to feel pain and what's intriguing is there's actually an increase of Strength and performance - hence her bow Skills seemed to improve rather drastically during that mission." Tech paused again to type a little into his datapad browsing through the various load of knowledge before making eye contact with a fidgety Omega, still bouncing on her feet. "Oh and of course, the most prominent symptom in Omega is feeling jittery or nervous and can't Sit Still. It helps the excess energy I presume." Wrecker had of course stopped listening half way through, but was a little Worried about their Omega. It was a very chaotic and tough mission, they had a few close calls which probably made things worse if She didn't have enough adrenaline already rushing through her tiny body, the other clones could handle it though due to their training and they were a lot bigger compared to her, hence the numbed effect on them.

"Yeah yeah." Wrecker rushed, "Can she have the Mantell Mix or not?" 

"In Short- Yes." Tech replied, shutting off his computer and turning back in his seat to set the Marauders Coordinates. A large cheer shattered the Previously Soothing Silence followed by a Soft wince from Hunter, his headache presumably worse. 

 "When are we landing!" She rushed Over to the control panels, desperate to do Something to get them there quicker. 

"Woah there kid," Echo gently lifted her up, Moving her away from the control panel and gently placing her next to Hunter, "We'll be there soon. Why don't you rest up for now?" Once Echo's gentle grip left her, She moved into Hunter's arms in what appeared to be a protest.

"But I'm not tired!" All of the nightmare training they had to endure never prepared them to care for a child, so whenever she protested It was always a shock. Soldiers were made to follow orders but what they kept forgetting was that she isn't a soldier, she's just a child. 

"You will be once the adrenaline leaves your system." Tech warned, "I Suggest you leave to rest now ready for another day of adventuring." She signed and nodded, her excitement already beginning to leave being replaced with a rapid heart rate and a lot of sudden anxiety which caused her to shuffle further into Hunter's arms.

"Yeah, okay." Omega agreed, gently holding onto Hunter's arm as he gave her a small smile, it was late anyway. They'd arrive by morning which meant that they could go Straight to Cids to retrieve their Credits and quite possibly their next mission. Hunter soon stood, softly holding her smaller hand and guiding her to her room aboard their ship. Pulling back the grey curtains, a small room was awakened with stars being shown among the large window. It was a tight fit, but it was worth losing the space so Omega could have her own room. She slowly climbed up the ladder, her eyes always fixating on the orange glow of the fairy lights hanging around the room. She always looked at the soothing tone before searching beneath her blankets to find her clone doll and Lula. Once both toys were securely in her arms, she smiled softly at Hunter, shuffling herself into the blankets and the bigger sleeping bag that lay in the centre of the room so when she laid down against the pillow, she could roam her eyes among the stars. 

"Are you comfortable?" His voice whispered, chuckling gently at her small body bombarded with blankets. 

"Yeah!" She smiled in return, a sleepy haze replacing her previously energetic gaze. Hunter noticed her heart race was starting to drop quite quickly and her breathing had begun to slow itself down, the adrenaline rush Tech had previously mentioned was definitely starting to wear off. "But can you stay for a little while?"

"How come?" He questioned, sitting on the edge of her room with his familiar grin. "You're supposed to be sleeping." She sighed a little, clinging to her clone doll and staring at him with those curious eyes he could just never say no to. 

"But I want to hear more stories about you and the others!" A pout formed on her lips, a pang of guilt filling Hunter for even wanting to leave. "But if you don't want to tell me then that's okay! I'll ask Tech." An instant gasp left his lips as he remembered the last eight times he had woken during the night to find Tech sitting with Omega and rambling about the variety of planets there are, missions, the past and pretty much anything she could think of. She's a curious girl and that always interrupted her sleep Cycle - her racing mind never stopped and Tech was the only one who could keep up and enjoyed doing so. 

"Fine, okay." He chuckled, secretly loving to tell her stories about her brothers. "Did I ever tell you about our missions during the clone Wars?" She shook her head, gazing at him with wide eyes. "We were assigned to help assist Anakin Skywalker and Rex to find Echo."

 "Anakin Skywalker?" She asked, tilting her head at this newly learnt name. 

"He was a Jedi and a great commander, but obviously we were better and cooler." He paused to clear his throat, "Anyway…" Hunter continued to jumble on about how they fought and how each enhanced skills helped them on that mission that surprisingly went amazingly well. 

"Hunter?" A sleepy voice asked toward the end of his story, a little surprised that she interrupted a story - this must be important. "What's my enhanced skill?" She questioned, squeezing Lula close to her chest. In all honesty, he had absolutely no idea What her skill was, only that she had pure first generation DNA from Jango Fett which was pretty fascinating, but a skill like theirs? He was stumped.

"Well you're getting great with your bow now Omega!" He grinned, remembering how much the accuracy of the shots she took had improved rather significantly. Hunter was definately proud, just like the rest of the Bad Batch were.

"No." She whined, sitting up a little. "What's my enhanced skill like everyone else has?" Omega paused for a moment, a worried yet sleepy gaze coating her eyes. "Don't I have one?"

"I'm not sure, kid." His eyes lit up as he smiled, "Why don't we find out soon?" She nodded with a big grin plastered along her face. "Now get some sleep ready for that, Okay?" In return he got a smaller smile and a nod as she snuggled herself back dawn with her two toys, almost instantly falling asleep before a gentle sentence left the bundle of soft blankets.

"Goodnight Hunter." A soft voice whispered before finally falling into a deeper sleep, unknowing to Hunter's next words.

"Goodnight, Ad'ika." Hunter softly drew the curtain to the room filled with a soft orange glow, blocking it out before walking toward the others and sitting back into his chair with a sigh. Staring forward, he allowed the passing planets to fill his mind as to what memories he had made at the ones he and the rest of the batch had  visited. Many of course not among the greatest circumstances but memories nonetheless. Wrecker soon stood and Stretched with an abrupt yawn. 

"I'm getting Pretty tired, who's on first watch anyway?" The brothers gazed around at each other, eyes eventually falling toward Tech for an answer as he had always been the one to memorise their sleep cycles and plan out a well organised chedule on who would take watch and when.

"According to my calculations, Echo will be the first to keep watch followed by me, Wrecker, Crosshair followed by Hunter. Is that satisfactory to you all still?" A mumble of sleepy nods were shared in response as Wrecker smiled and moved toward their shared bunks. 

"I'll be off then!" He spoke, unable to suppress his yawn as he wandered away to prepare for bed.

"Are you all heading off now then? I think it's best to sleep now for the day we'll probably have tomorrow." Echo spoke, replacing himself with Tech in the pilot's seat, ensuring he was comfortable. The others had agreed and shared their various goodnights and moved away to their bunks, settling down and Just like Omega had, they all drifted off to sleep- replenishing their energy for the morning. 

Hours had passed to the stage in the sleep cycle where Crosshair was keeping watch, his feet thrown by the controls which he knew Tech wasn't awake to see so it didn't really matter. He was pretty relaxed chewing against his toothpick, adjusting to himself functioning awake. Crosshair had always struggled to keep the physical effects of steep at bay once he had awoken but don't think for a second that it dampened his skill. What had startled him though were the soft footsteps behind him followed by a very gentle voice that followed.

"Crosshair?" Omega whispered, "Are you awake?" Removing his feet from the control panel, much to sleeping Tech's glee, he turned in the chair to see a rather tense looking Omega Clinging to both her doll and Lula. Great,he'd rather deal with blaster fire then with a kid's problems. Maybe that was a lie, but regardless he wasnt really experienced with kids and he didn't want to mess her up like he felt he was. 

"Yeah, kid." He spoke, voice thinned out and a little tierd. "What do you want?" 

"I don't think I feel great." Her voice mumbled, "My heart feels fast and my mind won't let me sleep." He sighed a little knowing he'd have to take care of the worried child before him, he seemed cold-hearted to everyone around him but he knew his brothers know that that isn't the case. He supposed this was his chance to let his little sister know that too.

"Anything on your mind?" He asked, trying to rid his voice of the sour tune that he had grown accustomed to using. She seemed rather lonely shuffling on her feet, gripping her toys closer to her chest. 

"I think I'm nervous about tomorrow…" Crosshair gave a soft gesture to let her know that it was okay to carry on, he was there. "Hunter promised me that he'd help me try to find my enhanced Skill! I really want one so I can be more like you guys. That way I can be more helpful too!" Omega drew a sharp breath inward, "But what if I don't  have one? What if i'm even less helpful because of it. What if I'm not like my big brothers?" Her smaller Kamonian thick accent began to shake as a bundle more 'what ifs' left her mouth.

"Hey," Crosshair interrupted, a shot of genuine physical pain shooting through his heart at the tears which began to loom over her usually bright and hopeful eyes. "No more What if's. You're always going to be apart of this team with or without an enhanced skill. We may not find it Straight away if you do have one, but even if you don't have one it's nothing to get worked up about." His attempt to soothe her didn't work the way he had wanted it to, but she did seem calmer than before.  "You'll do fine, kid." Something amongst his heart encouraged him to open his arms despite everything in his mind telling him to just make her go back to bed. Before he could gain control of his half-awake mind, his arms had opened and those words left his mouth. "Go back to bed, Ad'ika." Omega had thrown herself into his arms, hugging him tightly with the doll and Lula present. He thought that he should feel embarrased or angry - but if anything he just felt a wave of pride wash over him. She wanted to be like them? Even after everything that had happened? For Sure She had a very compassionate and empathetic heart, but he didn't think that it was as Strong as this.

"I want to stay with you." Her muffled voice mumbled as she gently climbed to sit on his lap clearly in a sleepy and stressed out daze. Crosshair didn't respond to her heart-filling request as he watched Hunter gently approach by them both. Both brothers Shared a understanding nod, eventhough Crosshairs was a little hesitant. He didn't mind holding his little sister for longer, but she needed her sleep. She was overtierd and anxious enough. Hunter lifted Omega Softly from Crosshairs arms as the sniper dusted himself off returning to taking watch until she was back in bed. Luckily, Omega had already fallen asleep against Crosshair, so Hunter putting her back to bed was no problem at all. Once he returned, he stood behind his brother.

"Thanks, you can head back to bed now." Hunter hummed, taking the freed Seat as Crosshair left with a soft mumble and scrowl as per usual. Once he was out of sight, he leant back with a gentle sigh knowing how upset she'd be without an enhanced Skill of her own. Though at this point, he was pretty certain it was stratedgy. Things would become clearer by morning though, he knew Tech may be able to find out before she woke. "All in due time." he mumbled softly, waiting for the planet they were waiting to land on to appear, desperate to get their credits. This wouldn't take too long, they'd find out soon doing anything to make his Ad'ika happy.

#Omega #the bad batch #Tbb #Clone Force 99 #Starwars #Star wars #Fanfiction #Hunter #Tech #Crosshair #Wrecker #Echo #Badbatch #Just like you

[spacegirlinorbit]

Help Me Understand

Part 2

Obi wan x reader

Angst, fluff

Takes place during ROTS. Y/n there to be by Obi wan side as he discovers the truth behind the abrupt turn of events in the war, Anakin becoming darth vadar, and eventually how he will come to fight him.

Angst prompts :“I don’t want space. I want you. ...I need you, please stay with me.” “You don’t have to face him alone, you’re not alone.” 

SIDENOTE: ‘//’ when its one parenthesis's they are talking through the force and when its double ‘’ like normal its being said aloud 

Help me understand part 1

“Well it looks like you took all the fun.” I say more to Obi than Yoda.

“Master y/n.” Yoda responds and I give him a bow. “Master Yoda.”

“Y/n.” Obi wan looks at me with wide eyes and rushes over to pull into a tight hug. I return his hug gratefully. Anyone could see it and anyone could feel it. We have an unformidable bond. That’s all that mattered. We are safe and we have each other.

We part and I give him a somber smile, “I heard Anakin was here.”

Obi wan sighs and looks to Master Yoda whose head goes down casted. We make our way into the temple. I can feel intensely the echoes of screams and blasters and lightsabers going off all around. A massacre.

The masters talk amongst themselves as I bend down and reach out to the force and see the events play out. It’s like a rock in the pit of my stomach. I fear I already know. As I see him come into view cloaked and feeling possessed. This is no Anakin. He has a new awakening inside giving his entity a new identity. Darth Vadar.

“Who could have done this?” Obi questions. I look to Master Yoda and then back to Obi keeping it impassive. Doesn’t he feel it? Doesn’t he know? Is he trying to be ignorantly blind? No. Not Obi wan Kenobi. He knows deep down. He’s just not ready to face it.

Me and Obi work on reversing the code but as Master Yoda claims ‘a long time it will take’ to recalibrate the clones.

‘Cody was with you wasn't he?” I ask quietly not sure if I should bring it up.

“Yes.”

“I made contact with Ashoka. She’s managed to help Rex through the force. I fear for what might become of her if she sees Anakin.”

“Do you think...do you really think he is our enemy?”

“No.” I can’t hesitate. I do my best not to lie either. I need to have hope. You can win wars built on hope.

“How did it come to this? I don’t understand.”

“I can only think of one person. Palpatine.”

“I must know the truth.” He walks out of the room and I quickly follow.

“Master. There is something I must know.” He says and walks over to the channel recording tables.

Yoda warns him, but knowing Obi this is the only way he can bring himself to do it. The recording plays out. It confirms everything and breaks everything as well. Obi is conflicted once again and in pain that is hard to keep under control on the inside as I reach out to blanket him.

Master Yoda says the words no one wants to hear now. “Destroy the sith we must.”

Obi wan claims he can kill the emperor but not Anakin and I can’t help as my heart yearns at the sentiment. Anakin has turned to the dark side. He is sith. He is Darth vader. He is no longer Anakin and it pains me to even think about it. It pains me to see Obi-wan in turmoil about it.

“I don’t know where to look. Do you know?” He turns to me now. I sadly put my head down and shake my head no.

“I didn’t hear that part of the conversation. You will have to go to Padme. She will probably have an easier time telling you.” I say trying to hide my discomfort. I wasn’t jealous of Padme but I didn’t understand how Obi wan was more compelling to be more open with her than with me. Someone who has been by his side more often than not. We did our first mission together. One of many. We have a force connection only we share more powerful than most. I was there when Quin Gon died and he was crying in his room all night. Then he took on the responsibility of Anakin Skywalker.

“You’re right as ever.” He says and gives me a small smile and a squeeze on my shoulder.

“I’ll continue to figure out the code. You go speak with Padme.” I say trying not to grind my teeth with every word that comes out of my mouth. The last thing I want is to be alone. Not when he has finally come home.

“I’ll fetch you when I’m done.” He replies before he leaves with one last stare that could say a million things.

It feels like an eternity since he left but I reach out slightly on the parameters of his force line. Padme is in shock and disbelief. She doesn’t end up telling him where despite how much he pushes in her head but he does sense the child she carries is Anakin’s. Thank the stars I don’t have to keep that a secret anymore. Padme didn’t tell me, but it was easy prying into Anakin’s mind when he asked me to watch over her. That and how she was eating more and the belly was starting to show.

I sense his presence coming closer to me and I meet him out on a small landing dock where no one would detect us.

“You’re just going to have to sit sideways in my lap.” He explains with a bit of cough and the tips of his ears tinge pink. He’s embarrassed. My heart is pounding but I do it anyway.

We go to the senate building and disguise ourselves to a hanger where Padme's ship is being ready for take off. Obi grabs my hand and we sneak onto the ship undetected by Padme and C3PO. Obi wan informed on the way here that she didn’t tell him where Anakin is but has been sensing she is going after him. We hide in a compartment together on the ship. I settle for sitting down and hugging my legs to my chest. Obi takes a Jedi kneeling stance across from me.

‘Did you know about the baby?’ He projects into my mind.

‘Yes. I knew.’ I begrudgingly say.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ He questions.

‘It wasn’t my place to tell. I read Anakin’s mind and found out my suspicions were true.’

‘Ah.’

‘Why did you say that when the war broke out?’ I ask timidly. I wish there was a wall between us. I don’t dare look at him when I ask this question.

‘What do you mean?’ I can feel him start to close off.

‘You called me, “my love”. What did you mean?’

‘...’ he is silent at first but then sighs and rubs his hand down his face. ‘I suppose I can’t hide it any longer. I don’t need to. I meant I love you. Because I do. I have loved you for a long time now. I just knew we couldn’t give in. We were always passing each other too. The missions together became less and communicating became more silent. It wasn’t the Jedi way. Now there is no Jedi.’

‘Oh Obi there is Jedi. There’s you, me, Yoda, and hopefully we can save Anakin.’

‘Yes.’ I can feel the hesitation. He’s on edge but blurts it out bluntly through the force. ‘Do you love me?’

I try not to smile big seeing as my heart will burst but all I feel right now for Obi Wan is love. We are about to enter a battlefield with a friend turned foe and yet none of that matters as much as I feel for Obi Wan Kenobi.

‘Yes.’ I say this time meaning it with my entire heart. Probably the first real truthful yes I’ve said all day. I can feel the love he has kept hidden, flow through me and it’s bliss and would leave me in daze if I didn’t know what we were about to do.

Landing in disguise was probably the hardest and easiest part. Padme didn’t know we were there and anakin’s energy was too high off the charts to focus on multiple things at once. His sole focus was Padme that much we could feel. We waited until she made it off the ship and then as we snuck out of our little compartment I looked to see 3CPO spot us and I gave him a signal of silence and for once he didn't make a sound. I hear Anakin’s voice and look back at obi wan at the entrance exposing his presence.

Everything after that happened so quickly. Padme being choked and falling unconscious. Anakin and Obi Wan start to negotiate but no real negotiation takes place. Obi wan in his mind tells me stay on board, Padme is still breathing, and Anakin could hurt me if i expose myself now. I stay back until I hear them start to duel and leave the scene. I run out to Padme whose unconscious but through the force I can feel she's under a lot of stress she can’t handle and I fear the baby-no babies it seems: twins, will be coming sooner than expected. I get 3CPO’s help to load Padme back into the ship and let her rest. I want to call out to Obi wan but I fear it would distract him.

I reach out to have my force barely touch Obi wan’s as I feel a sudden anguish overwhelm me in my meditation in the force. Obi wan felt nothing but pain as he had to leave his brother, someone who was the closest thing he had to family being left to die. He wasn't looking to make Anakin suffer but as we all know that wasn’t Anakin anymore but Darth Vadar. I send 3CPO to inform Obi wan as he makes his way back to the ship. I can feel he is miserable and tired. 3CPO sets the coordinates as I make the call for a medic droid to be ready once we arrive. Obi Wan pays Padme a visit to Padme. I hear her ask about Anakin as she did when I helped her lay down for rest. She will never be the same again, but at least she has her children.

Obi wan makes his way to the front of the ship, silent. I can feel the indifference of pain within him. I think to myself he must need space right now and make my way back towards Padme. If only I could help relieve some of the pain he’s feeling.

“Come back…” I hear softly called out. I’m almost at Padme’s door when I faintly hear the voice. I turn around and see Obi wan looking at the ground and running his hand down his face as he does when in hard times.

“Did you say something?” I ask, wondering if I heard wrong.

“I don’t want space.”

“Oh.” Was he mind reading me earlier?

“I don’t want space. I want you. ...I need you, please stay with me.”

I feel my heartbreak a little at the crack of his voice. He is doing his best to stay strong, but he just did the impossible and shouldered the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. No one will understand, but I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try or help him one way or another.

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thAT WAS THERAPY FOR ME LMAO i hope u enjoyed reading this late night and perhaps forgotten story i wrote. 

#obi wan #obi wan x reader #angst #sw #Star Wars fanfic

[ljbrary]

Sicktember Day Three: Chicken Pox

uhhhh yes i know im late sue me 

just kidding please dont

aNYway ive already lasted longer than i thought i would doing this so i count this as a win

link to ao3 :)

from this list of prompts

Day Three: Chicken Pox

Title: i’ll watch over you (but who will watch over me?)

Word Count: 1207

...

Obi-Wan Kenobi left the Jedi Temple as a padawan with a master, and came back as a master with a padawan… minus a master. (That small little addendum turned out to be just like the little stones that dig into hands when one falls — it cuts deep enough to draw blood. And, well, perhaps that was a bit of a simplification, but Obi-Wan would rather deal with blood and bruises than the deep ache eating at his heart.)

 After being one himself, Obi-Wan was under no illusions that having a padawan would be easy, per se.

 He just never thought that it would be this hard.

And maybe it wasn’t -- Anakin Skywalker tended to be an exception to many things, and whether it meant he was exceptional or difficult was anyone’s guess -- sometimes it was both.

 And so Anakin Skywalker was difficult -- but he was also exceptional.

 Because he was as kind-hearted as he was wild, and unfortunately Anakin Skywalker had the biggest heart of anyone he knew; he was as bright as a supernova and as intense as the cresting wave of a tsunami; he was determined to be better, whatever that happened to mean, and he was persistent enough to stand up even after falling down countless times.

 And so little nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker was many things, and unfortunately little nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker was sick.

“You can’t keep scratching, Ani,” Obi-Wan chided for the umpteenth time in the last hour. 

 Master Che will have my head, he thought as he once again swatted poor Anakin’s bulkily bandaged hand away from a particularly nasty looking sore on his arm.

 “But it itches, Master,” he croaked, sinking back into the sterile sheets of the Halls of Healing in defeat. He’d been stuck like this for the past week, and Obi-Wan could tell that the sores crisscrossing his arms and face weren’t the only thing itching him; the need to move, to do something and to take action seemed to be just as in need of a scratch as the chicken pox torturing him was.

 Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh, the burning hole in his stomach that had become a permanent resident since Naboo and all that it entailed seemed to sink a little deeper. This was his fault, of course; not much wasn’t these days, it seemed.

 Of course Anakin had not gotten his immunizations. He was a slave for kriff’s sake! How could Obi-Wan have been so stupid as to not take this into account? Of course Anakin would get sick; Obi-Wan should have predicted it, should have prevented it. (It was starting to seem like he wasn’t very skilled in the art of preventing things; especially things that hurt other people.)

 Obi-Wan released the hand wrapped loosely around the wrist Anakin was slowly but surely inching toward his face before his grip tightened and hurt Anakin any more than he already had; Obi-Wan didn’t think he would be able to bear it if that happened. 

 Though, then again, he didn’t think he could bear this either, and well, perhaps bear wasn’t quite the right word, because to bear something one has to acknowledge and accept it, and Obi-Wan couldn’t quite bring himself to do that. The only thing he could bear was the stress of a Padawan and all that it entailed, and the tight knot of stress happened to be a great filler for the burning hole sinking through his stomach.

 “Come, Ani,” Obi-Wan coaxed. “Drink some water; hydration is important if you want to fight this off, young one.”

 Anakin grit his teeth. “I wish I could fight this off, Master,” he lamented, voice scratchy and cracking. “I’d love to take a lightsaber to this.” He cleared his throat. “This is almost as bad as a virus I caught on Tatooine once, but at least that one didn’t itch,” he groaned, shaking his hand out of Obi-Wan’s grip for the umpteenth time as Obi-Wan once again foiled his plans of scratching at a blister.

 Quickly, before Anakin could get another go at giving himself scars from scratching, Obi-Wan snatched the glass of water at his bedside table and brought the sloshing liquid into Anakin’s line of sight.

 Anakin obediently opened his mouth when Obi-Wan brought the cup of water to his lips, liquid dribbling out the sides and dripping onto the sheets, Anakin unable to hold the glass himself due to the unfortunate addition of bandages wrapped around his hands to prevent him from scratching at his blisters; (they hadn’t worked very well, in Obi-Wan’s opinion; Anakin was a very determined and persistent child, after all.)

 Anakin’s energy, although fiery and lively despite his circumstances, was noticeably waning, and soon enough the flickering of his eyes and lack of energy to fight Obi-Wan’s policing of his scratching had him sinking back against the sheets and pillows behind him; until the only thing that told Obi-Wan that Anakin was awake was the loose, bulky grip around his hand.

 He looked so… peaceful, on the verge of sleep, Obi-Wan thought; he looked just like Qui-Gon, all serene and a pacified but with the faint undertone of something heavy that was threaded through the muscles of his face and through his aura in the Force.

 Obi-Wan’s chest constricted, and he suddenly understood Anakin’s need to scratch his sores all that more vividly; understood the need to get the pain to stop, no matter how, no matter what, even if it just meant more pain in the future, because at least it was satiated for the moment, no matter how many times it came back for more.

 Obi-Wan sucked in a sharp breath, shaking his head.

 Qui-Gon was gone, simply and with no strings attached; no amount of scratching at this searing hole would bring him back, no amount of satiating the sharp sting of loss would ever fully seal the wound it left behind; Obi-Wan had crashed to the pavement, pebbles imbedded in his palms and jagged stone to tear at his knees, and no amount of bandages and bacta would ever heal the scars.

 Obi-Wan bit down hard on his lip. Stop this thinking at once! He commanded himself.

 He gazed down at his dozing charge. 

 There are more important things to lend your worry to, he chided himself.

 And yes, maybe Anakin did share some resemblance with Qui-Gon, but Qui-Gon was not here, and Anakin was; and Obi-Wan was no longer the padawan, Anakin was.

 And so Qui-Gon’s memory would always be the scars on his knees and cuts on his palms, but Anakin might just be the bacta to seal the open wounds until they scarred over. And so Obi-Wan might not be forgetting the pain of Qui-Gon’s absence any time soon, but he had a duty to Anakin to make sure this dreadful hole in his chest didn’t eat him any more than it already had.

 Obi-Wan glanced back down at the young features of his student’s face; the Qui-Gon-like features.

 (He ignored the sharp burn at the backs of his eyes, the tightening of his throat.)

 “Sleep well, young one,” Obi-Wan told his sleeping Padawan. “All will be alright, I promise”

 (And oh, if only he could promise that to himself.)

#star wars #star wars prequels #Anakin Skywalker #obiwan kenobi #obiwan and anakin #hurt #low key hurt no comfort #quigon #sick fic #sicktember

[madeofsplinters]

for the symbols ask, would you mind all of them that you havent yet done for vader? you have very good opinions on him and i would like to hear them

Aw, thank you! Although man that is A LOT of Vader headcanons left to do :D But I like writing random stuff about him, soooo... Sad:

Vader still remembers all the Jedi younglings' names.

Angry/Violent:

I mean, what in Darth Vader's life *isn't* angry/violent? Lol. The particular way that he uses the Dark Side produces a really fucked up feedback loop: he's angry and in various forms of pain all the time, which produces an energy he can channel into violence, which produces self-hate and further pain, which produces more energy. Lather, rinse, repeat.

A lot of Palpatine's work with Vader is simply about managing this loop and adjusting as necessary. Giving him enough outlets for his rage that he doesn't just combust where he stands and start breaking things he isn't supposed to; tormenting him enough, and giving him the tools to self-torment, so that it never quite subsides into peace.

This isn't the only way of using the Dark Side, but it's a common one for Sith warriors; both Maul and Kylo Ren use something similar.

Sex:

Disabled people can, too have sex - it just takes a little more creativity. Vader has plenty of creativity, as well as magic super powers. If he doesn't indulge in such things - which, honestly, in canon he probably doesn't - then it's due to psychological factors: a conservative upbringing and ascetic lifestyle, unresolved grief for his wife, self-hate, depression, not wanting to let anyone in that close, etc.

Anyways if I see one more "BuT hIs DiCk DoEsN't WoRk" post here on Tumblr dot com, as if that body part is all that sex boils down to, I may actually scream.

Living Quarters:

When he's meditating in his stupid lava fortress, Vader senses the Dark Side nexus underneath him as if it's a living being, a kind of elemental lava spirit. Sometimes he talks to it in his head. (Is it "really talking" back to him? Is he just carrying out a strange symbolic drama in his own head? Don't ask - if you don't intuitively understand how a spiritual experience can be both these things at once, then you're not on Darth Vader's level.)

His favorite thing about the lava river is that it isn't Palpatine. Vader of all people knows how destructive lava is, but lava is direct and straightforward. It doesn't lie to him. It doesn't play games on purpose just to jerk him around. It just flows on and burns what's in its path, and there are days when Vader finds that both relatable and soothing.

Romantic:

Vader has a weakness for partners who are older than him, brave, smart, outwardly stable (the insides may vary), have a cute accent and strong negotiation and leadership skills, feed him attention in measured amounts, and are convinced they know better than him about everything. Padmé and Tarkin (and Obi-Wan, for that matter) all fit this type...

Friendship:

I mean, Vader doesn't really have friends, though. He is capable of forming really intense attachments to a few specific people, and tolerating others because of their competence, but anything in between those ends of the spectrum? Doesn't really compute. Vader does not chill or hang out or make pleasant conversation, not a lot of room for friends here.

Even as Anakin, he was a little like this. It was harder to tell, because his social circle was a lot bigger then - there were way more people in the "would die for them" circle, and way more who he went out of his way to be nice to, even if they weren't exactly close. But all of these social relationships involve some kind of power relation. Anakin has masters and fellow generals and an apprentice; he has favorite loyal troops and a favorite droid; he has a Supreme Chancellor who is being very nice to him for some reason. These are all people he works with, or who want something from him; he doesn't really have anyone he hangs out with just for the sake of hanging out with them. Padmé is the closest he gets to that, and even with her, he’s acting out a romantic role in the way that he thinks is expected of him so that he’ll deserve her love. (And doing a bad job of it, because Anakin is awkward, but never mind.)

Anakin has a huge heart and many attachments, don't get me wrong. But I don't think he's ever fully grasped the idea of a social connection that doesn't revolve around one of the people involved being useful to the other.

Quirks/Hobbies:

(I already did a “workshop/tinkering” one, so here’s a “flying” one...)

Vader's special experimental prototype TIE fighter is in constant need of repairs because of how recklessly he flies. It's not even that he crashes into things - it's just wear and tear because you're not actually supposed to yank the throttle that hard every damn time you turn the ship, Lord Vader, seriously how are you not passing out from those g-forces.

Vader is genuinely confused why the techs keep complaining. Podracers are used to having to rebuild their entire pod after every race. By that standard, he's doing great.

Childhood:

Tiny little bb Anakin wasn't actually any angrier than normal, at least by the standards of traumatized child slaves. Like, he was about at par. There were plenty of angrier ones. You couldn't have looked at him, in comparison to the other child slaves doing similar jobs in Mos Espa, and said "oh yeah that one in particular is gonna have anger and attachment issues."

He did stand out from the other kids, though, on account of just being a weird little nerd. He built a whole droid and a racing pod by himself and his master didn't even make him do it! He keeps talking about how he's going to be a Jedi and fly all around the galaxy and save the planet and marry a queen, when everybody knows there are at least three good reasons why that's wrong. He thinks random customers who come into his shop are his new friends! Anakin is just... weird. Off in his own little world. The other local slave kids know not to be too mean to him because he will always help you out in a pinch, and he is really good with machines, but other than that, I dunno, would you wanna hang out with Mr. I’m Gonna Be A Special Jedi?

Shmi sees this dynamic happening, but there's not much she can do, except to give Anakin all the love and reassurance that she wishes he was getting from his peers.

Cooking/Food:

Idk the Wookieepedia says that Vader can eat nutrient paste out of a straw in his mask if he wants to, but he doesn't want to because it tastes awful. So my questions here are (a) considering everything else they have to do, how can the suit's recesses possibly fit enough nutrient paste inside them for Vader's needs, and (b) seriously we're how many years in the future and we can't even make a nutrient paste that tastes good? We haven't even hit on "bland"? For the Emperor's chief enforcer, whose personal care budget is virtually unlimited? Yeah no, I'm calling canon error on this one. He can't eat, or it's too much trouble to get food into him with the other life support, so he's tube-fed. That's my headcanon.

Appearance:

Vader is very muscular. (This isn't really a "head"canon? He's literally played by a bodybuilder? But some fans disagree, so, eh.) He was already tall and strong when he was Anakin, but the suit adds height and it adds a LOT of extra weight that he has to be able to carry around with him literally every time he moves.

His recovery process after Revenge of the Sith involved having to learn how to move again, with new prosthetic limbs and horrifying new chronic injuries, basically from the ground up, and having to do it well enough that he could sword-fight Jedi Masters to the death, and he had to put on a ton of muscle in order to do that.

Palpatine was very strict in the nutrition and exercise regimes he imposed for this purpose. I have a sneaking suspicion that steroids were also involved.

#darth vader

[mytardisisparked]

You keep teasing the second Obitine baby (since Korkie is the first obviously), so can we finally meet them? I'm sure the parents are sick of waiting as well!

Hey there! Thanks for keeping up with my fic. Imma be completely honest: each of my one-shots where a future Obitine baby is mentioned were written individually and I really don’t know if they are connected or not lol. They could be! I just haven’t thought much about it because I like to fill a prompt completely unhindered by rules of my own making. Basically, what I’m saying is that if you would like to consider them connected, you absolutely may! But they are open for interpretation and I don’t really have a set timeline or universe in my writing them.

All that being said, I will write Obitine baby fic with naught but the slightest provocation so here ya go 😉:

-------------

Obi-Wan had been pacing for about ten solid minutes when Anakin and Padme finally forced him to sit. Of course, this could not stop him from bouncing his leg or fiddling with the sleeve of his robe, much to Anakin’s amusement; he had never seen his master this nervous before. 

Everything probably would have been better for Obi-Wan if he had been allowed in the room during the birth, but after 6 hours of labor, Satine had finally kicked him out, unable to tolerate even his most gentle witticisms and stifled nervous energy. Obi-Wan, of course, respected his wife’s decision, but that didn’t mean that he was enjoying the lack of information he had about the progress of this process or the simple fact that he could not physically see his wife during the painful ordeal.

His leg tapped out a more intense staccato, drawing an amused smile from Padme’s lips.

“She’s going to be alright, Obi-Wan.” Padme leaned around Anakin to place a warm hand on the Jedi Master’s knee. “Satine’s more than capable of handling this.”

Obi-Wan gave the senator a terse smile. “I have no doubt of her capability, I’m simply nervous about...” he trailed off, unsure of how to express what was really making him so nervous when he could not quite pin down the reason for himself. It wasn’t that something might happen to Satine - he knew his wife would pull through birthing a child with the same passion and resolve with which she did everything else - it was just that...

“You’re nervous about becoming a father?” Anakin gave him a knowing smile.

Obi-Wan sighed and gave him a wry grin back. “Maybe.”

That was, indeed, the root of the matter. Obi-Wan had fathered Korkie, but he had never actually been a father to him until he was already grown and capable of taking care of himself. The prospect of someone’s entire life being hinged on his ability to care for and nurture them was more daunting than Obi-Wan wanted to admit, even to himself.

Anakin patted him on the back. “You’ll be alright, Master. You already have the experience of raising me under your belt and there is no way any child of yours and Satine’s could possibly be as much of a handful as me.”

Obi-Wan grinned fully this time. “Don’t jinx it, my young apprentice. You never met Satine or me when we were children.”

“Oh?” Anakin’s eyes widened in interest. “Are you saying you were a troublemaker?”

Padme laughed. “You say that, Anakin, like he’s not currently a troublemaker.”

“She has a fair point,” Obi-Wan chuckled.

The door to Satine’s room opened and a nurse stepped out. The three hallway-dwellers jumped to their feet.

“Well, Master Kenobi,” the nurse said with a grin, “we have someone in here who would very much like to meet you.” She held the door open and motioned for him to come inside. With one last nervous grin at Anakin and Padme, Obi-Wan walked into the room.

Satine was sitting up on the bed, looking tired and, yet, still glowing like the sun was shining only on her. Hair was pasted to her forehead by sweat and her cheeks were splotchy with red, but she wore a triumphant smile, which she turned on Obi-Wan as he came into view. 

In her arms was, of course, a white bundle.

“Hello, Ben.” Satine smiled even wider. “We have a daughter.”

Obi-Wan stepped forward in awe, finally looking upon their baby. She was so tiny and so, so perfect. Wide, brilliant, blue eyes met his with sparkling clarity, and he instantly fell in love. The baby girl’s tiny arms waved about wildly, reaching for the faces of her parents as Obi-Wan settled in next to Satine on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Gingerly, he ran a finger along his daughter’s cheek, realizing that his finger was tracing the same path a tear took down his own.

“Hello there.” He grinned.

Satine laid her head on his chest, breathing deeply. “She’s perfect, Ben.”

Obi-Wan smiled and pulled Satine closer. “She is indeed.” He kissed his wife’s forehead. “Thank you for this, dear.”

She chuckled. “We both did this, Obi. I can hardly take all the credit.”

“Yes, but you carried her and birthed her, which is far more work than I did.”

Satine laughed fully at that. “Fair enough. We’ll call it a 70-30 split.”

They both laughed and settled back into the comfort of watching their daughter drift off to sleep.

After a while, Obi-Wan sighed. “We should probably make her name official. Anakin and Padme are waiting to meet her and we can’t introduce them without a name.” 

“We are still agreed on naming her Jinn, yes?”

“As long as you still like it.” He smiled.

“Then Jinn Ani Kenobi she shall be.” Satine smiled back.

Obi-Wan raised an amused brow. “Shall we unleash her uncle and aunt?”

She laughed. “Yes, send them in.”

#Tardi has a brand #Obitine #Obi-Wan #Satine #Anakin #Padme #Star Wars #the clone wars #Obitine babies

[padawanlost]

On forced anidala: imo the deleted scenes and the little she says in the movies explain her choices well. She was a young girl, a child, thrown into a world of politics and she loves it, buuut she never had a chance to be herself. She's a "strong powerful woman" yet all she wants is a peaceful life with a husband and children on Naboo. Ofc reckless youthful Anakin will be attractive to her. There's more to it but not enough space to type it here but I wish Padmé had more meta, she's fascinating.

Yes! But also women can be both. They can be accomplished professional AND have romantic aspirations. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of fans struggle with the notion that Padmé can be super responsible and romantically reckless at the same time. they have a hard time understanding why such successful women would want romance, marriage and kids. I blame society but also Hollywood for perpetuating the idea that successful women are all cold and heartless ‘men-haters’.

I also think people forget this was Padmé’s first love and how intense that usually goes.

“A Senator after a Queen, and probably with many more offices ahead of her,” Sola said. She looked back at the playhouse and called for Ryoo and Pooja to ease up. “You speak as if it’s a bad thing,” Padmé remarked. Sola looked at her earnestly. “It’s a great thing,” she said. “If you’re doing it all for the right reasons. “And what is that supposed to mean?” Sola shrugged, as if she wasn’t quite sure. “I think you’ve convinced yourself that you’re indispensable to the Republic,” she said. “That they couldn’t get along at all without you.” “Sis!” “It’s true,” Sola insisted. “You give and give and give and give. Don’t you ever want to take, just a little?” Padmé’s smile showed that Sola’s words had caught her off guard. “Take what?” Sola looked back to Ryoo and Pooja. “Look at them. I see the sparkle in your eyes when you watch my children. I know how much you love them.” “Of course I do!” “Wouldn’t you like to have children of your own?” Sola asked. “A family of your own?” Padmé sat up straight, her eyes going wide. “I …” she started, and stopped, several times. “I’m working right now for something I deeply believe in. For something that’s important.”“And after this is settled, after the Military Creation Act is far behind you, you’ll find something else to deeply believe in, something else that’s really important. Something that concerns the Republic and the government more than it really concerns you.” “How can you say that?” “Because it’s true, and you know it’s true. When are you going to do something just for yourself?” “I am.” “You know what I mean.” Padmé gave a little laugh and a shake of her head, and turned back to Ryoo and Pooja. “Is everyone to be defined by their children?” she asked. “Of course not,” Sola replied. “It’s not that at all. Or not just that. I’m talking about something bigger, Sis. You spend all of your time worrying about the problems of other people, of this planet’s dispute with that planet, or whether this trade guild is acting fairly toward that system. All of your energy is being thrown out there to try to make the lives of everyone else better.” “What’s wrong with that?” “What about your life?” Sola asked in all seriousness. “What about Padmé Amidala? Have you even thought about what might make your life better? Most people who have been in public service as long as you have would have retired by now. I know you get satisfaction in helping other people. That’s pretty obvious. But what about something deeper for you? What about love, Sis? And yes, what about having kids? Have you even thought about it? Have you even wondered what it might be like for you to settle down and concern yourself with those things that will make your own life fuller?” Padmé wanted to retort that her life didn’t need to be any fuller, but she found herself holding back the words. Somehow they seemed hollow to her at that particular moment, watching her nieces romping about the backyard of the house, now jumping all about poor R2-D2, Padmé’s astromech droid. For the first time in many days, Padmé’s thoughts roamed free of her responsibilities, free of the important vote she would have to cast in the Senate in less than a month. Somehow, the words Military Creation Act couldn’t filter through the whimsical song that Ryoo and Pooja were then making up about R2-D2. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

Though Padmé certainly put her professional life ahead her personal one, she still had wants. She still like the idea of love and children, even if she seldom allowed herself to think about it. But, in the end, despite all her big words about duty and responsibilities, she was as romantic and reckless as Anakin. She too put love about work.

[Anakin] wants to serve the Jedi, and he wants to love and be loved. [Padmé] refuse to accept he must be forced to choose. “I have no authority over you,” Obi-Wan continued. “I’m perfectly aware of that. But I would ask you—beg you—to do this one thing. Leave Coruscant. Return to Naboo. Give Anakin the time he needs to recover from his injury … and realize what you and I already know: that going your separate ways is the only possible remedy for this unfortunate situation.” She blinked back stinging tears. You say you understand, Obi-Wan, but you don’t. In every way that counts you don’t know Anakin at all. But I do. I know him. I have seen his true heart. All of it. My love can save him. But she couldn’t tell Obi-Wan that. He’d never believe it. And he would never turn a blind eye now that he knew she and Anakin loved each other. So she had to make him think he’d convinced her to abandon Anakin. The need for such a deception grieved her. She liked Obi-Wan, very much. And she knew he did love Anakin, in the pallid, self-contained way of the Jedi. But Anakin’s love was like the heat of a supernova. In attempting to control it, the Jedi would destroy him. I will die before I let that happen. [Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

As for the ‘forced’ wedding: that was Padmé’s idea. She was the one who manipulated Obi-wan into allowing Anakin to escort her back to Naboo by himself. So, yeah, secretly marrying Anakin was absolutely something Padmé would do:

“Yes,” she whispered, still weeping. “I’ll leave Coruscant. Spend some time with my family. And—perhaps I won’t return. To be honest, I’m not certain I can make a difference anymore. I lost the battle against the formation of the army and now I fear the voices of peace have been drowned out entirely. I do need some time to decide what I’ll do next.” Surprising her, Obi-Wan took her hand. His fingers were cold. “You’re wrong. The Senate will need you now more than ever.” Gently, she pulled free. “Maybe. Obi-Wan … I should be the one to make the break with Anakin. If it comes from you, he’ll be angry, resentful, and I don’t want there to be trouble between you. Besides, if it comes from you he might not believe it, and then I’ll just have to tell him anyway.” He smoothed his beard, thinking. “All right.”“Let Anakin escort me home to Naboo. Saying good-bye is going to be difficult. I’d like our parting to be private. Please, Obi-Wan,” she added, seeing his reluctance. “You owe me that much.” He sighed. “I can make no promises, but … I’ll do my best.” “Thank you.” “Padmé …” He shook his head. “You’re doing the right thing. The only thing that can keep him safe. Anakin will need all his strength, his focus, for what is to come. You don’t see it now but you will, in time.” He left her then. Welcoming the solitude, she stood on her apartment’s veranda and stared across the Coruscant cityscape to the distant, imposing Jedi Temple where Anakin lay cradled in his healing trance. Have no fear, my love. I won’t let them come between us. And if we stand together, not even the Force will tear us apart. [Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

#ask #inkerii #sw meta #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #meta: padme #anakin & padme

[irinapaleolog]

The Rise of Skywalker Does a Terrible Disservice to the Women of Star Wars

Besides Reylo, one of the great marketing tools of the Star Wars sequel trilogy was its emphasis on girl power, as well its subversion of class dynamics. The films showed that women -- even poor, destitute women with no connections to powerful men -- could play the same role in the franchise as every cocky flyboy or adopted son of a moisture farmer. Unfortunately, and despite the press tour assurances from the cast and crew that Rey and her gal pals are here to lead a new generation of fans into the new world of gender equality, The Rise of Skywalker makes sure that none of the women of the franchise gets to live happily ever after nor establish any lasting romantic connection.

Instead, Episode IX leans heavily into the tired trope of the "strong female character" that has to resign from silly notions like love and family to live up to her full potential. Adding insult to injury, the film removes all agency from the women, and instead thrusts them onto a straight-and-narrow path of contrived choices foisted upon them by male characters or by the Force -- which, in J.J. Abrams' movie, acts not as the power that propels life in the universe, but like the mean Catherine de Bourgh of Pride and Prejudice.

Let's start with Leia Organa, whose call for help in The Last Jedi was ignored by the entire galaxy. However, Lando Calrissian, who has been hanging around on Pasaana doing who knows what, just has to say the word for an entire legacy fleet to appear out of nowhere. Then there's the handling of her Jedi training, which she gave up because she felt the Force might corrupt her unborn son -- a narrative choice that comes out of left field but that mirrors the real-world dilemma of women giving up promotions for fear that their careers might get in the way of parenting.

But we could argue that Leia's arc in Episode IX is clunky because Abrams had limited footage of the late Carrie Fisher. But what about the characters portrayed by living actresses?

There's Rose Tico, played by Kelly Marie Tran, who had a major role in The Last Jedi with an interesting arc of her own. Unfortunately, a vocal segment of Star Warsfans loathed the character and harassed the actress until she left social media. Things looked brighter when Abrams announced Tran would rejoin the cast in The Rise of Skywalker and that her role would be even better. She was billed as a general, an essential part of the Resistance; Tran went on a press tour and talked about the great feminine energy of the set. The comes The Rise of Skywalker, where Rose appears three times, speaks four lines, and is sidelined to the "really important job" of tech support, with her connection with Finn never addressed. In The Rise of Skywalker, Rose doesn't get romance, connections, friendship, a job, or a story of her own -- something that should please the most toxic fans.

Then there's Jannah, played by Naomi Ackie, another "strong female character." The twist this time is that, like Finn, she's a former Stormtrooper who mutinied and defied an order to kill a bunch of villagers. For a few seconds, her story is hopeful and fascinating, and teases the line from the trailer that "good people will fight if we lead them," that free will and the power of the individual are concepts that exist in Abrams' Star Wars.

How foolish of the audience to hold such hope. Jannah and Finn explain theyweren't the ones who decided to spare the innocent villagers; it was a feeling. The Force takes care of silly dramatic concepts like agency, choice and heroism. Jannah is not a good person because of her actions, but because the Force willedher to be one. The only funny thing about this depressing predeterministic twist is that it also works as an apt metaphor for the actions of the characters in The Rise of Skywalker, who do things not because they make sense, but because the script -- the Force -- says so. To add another nail to the coffin, The Rise of Skywalker Visual Dictionary hints at Lando being Jannah's father, yet another woman of Star Wars whose story doesn't matter unless she's related to a legacy male character.

Moving on, Keri Russell plays Zorii Bliss, a spice runner from Kijimi who essentially wears Leia's slave outfit, only with thermal underwear. Zorii's only purpose in the story is to provide a tragic background for Poe Dameron, as well as a potential love interest. She's also a glorified MacGuffin holder (twice!), and one of the many characters that Abrams fake-kills to ignite an emotional response from the viewer in a desperate effort to make Poe sympathetic. Zorii's role could have easily been filled by Rose, who was an actual tech whiz with a questionable past and a potential massive beef against Poe. After all, he's directly responsible for her sister's death.

Let's move on to Rey (Daisy Ridley), who is retconned from being a resilient orphan scavenger strong in the Force... to receiving her powers from a male bloodline. Now, to be perfectly clear, there's nothing wrong with overly dramatic space operas where everyone is related to a royal family, but this "reveal" goes against the premise of The Force Awakens and the heart of The Last Jedi, which proposes that anyone can be a hero.

There were no hints at all about this "twist" -- not in the movies, in the animated series or in the ancillary material, which makes it feel like a last-minute decision designed to appease those fans who accused Rey of being an overpowered Mary Sue, overlooking one of the most common Mary Sue tropes: their tendency to be secretly related to important canon characters.

Another Mary Sue trope exploited in The Rise of Skywalker, but that wasn't even touched in the previous two movies, is the female character sacrificing herself for the greater good, only to be saved at the last minute by a man, which is exactly what happens here. This double-whammy of "being powerful because of grandad" and "getting to live because of a man" is particularly egregious, and caters to no one, because of what happens right after Ben Solo sacrifices himself. We'll get to that in a moment.

Then there's the Force vision scene. Rey already had a trippy Force vision in The Last Jedi, a deep dive into an array of feminine symbology that she wasn't afraid to confront, from which she emerged heartbroken but stronger. In The Rise of Skywalker, this moment is undercut and shows Rey terrified of the darker, sexier, powerful version of herself, which is a hard pill to swallow. Rey explicitly says that she has nightmare visions where she and Kylo Ren are the evil Empress and Emperor of the Galaxy, linking the fulfillment of her desires to the galaxy's apocalypse. In Episode IX, romantic love is a flaw that the "strong female character" should overcome, but sex is pure evil.

Her visceral rejection of her dark side is also a 180 turn on her chill acceptance of her darkness in The Last Jedi. In the real world, women are taught from a young age to hide their negative feelings, to smile and live to be pleasant to everyone, to not be loud or angry or intense. That mentality only makes things easier for everyone in the world who is not a woman, and runs contrary to the quickly angered but enthusiastic scavenger of the previous two movies. However, by the end of The Rise of Skywalker, Rey has transformed into this Cool Girl version of Ideal Femininity/Strong Woman Character.

Ben Solo's death right after his redemption and first kiss should have been treated like a tragedy at least by Rey, and at least for one minute... but she does not react at all. The camera cuts from Ben's clothes folding as he disappears to Rey's neutral expression as she flies back to the Resistance. His death, and any emotional reaction that it might have caused in the protagonist, is not mentioned at all, which is baffling, to say the least. After a brief reunion with Finn and Poe, Rey immediately regresses on-screen to a lonely child on a desert planet, sliding down a Tatooine sand dune and negating her evolution for the last two movies, just so Abrams could throw in a homage to himself.

For the sake of argument, let's take Rey's reveal of her villainous ancestry at face value, and let's imagine that Disney had prepared this reveal from The Force Awakens: Her ending is still insulting, because it forces her to pay for the actions of her grandfather, despite having suffered as much as anyone from his evil ways. Palpatine's murderous pursuit of his son's family was what caused Rey to grow up heartbroken and abandoned on Jakku.

Rey longed for family and love her entire life; she jumped at the opportunity to establish a real connection with Han Solo, Maz Kanata, Finn, Leia, Luke and Kylo Ren, and in The Rise of Skywalker she looks longingly at the Pasaana children, clearly wanting a family of her own. Rey marveled at the green of Takodana in The Force Awakens and at the water of Ahch-To in The Last Jedi. Just like Anakin, she hated the desert. So why does the plot force her to go back to Tatooine to take on the Skywalker name, a planet where none of the Skywalkers, Organas or Solos were born; that Anakin and Luke longed to escape; where Shmi Skywalker was enslaved twice and then killed; and where Leia became Jabba's sex doll? Wouldn't it make more sense for her to head to verdant, watery Naboo, where both Palpatine and Padmé came from, the place where the latter wanted to raise her Skywalker twins?

But, no, Rey doesn't get to live where she would be logically happier, or where it makes sense; she goes where the fan service is stronger, and the twin suns of Tatooine were unparalleled -- until now. When an old woman asks Rey her family name, she answers "Skywalker," which doesn't hold up to close examination. Luke Skywalker refused to train her, Leia's name was Organa, Ben and Han were Solos, and she's standing on the Lars' buried homestead. And although it makes sense that she would lie about her true ancestry, denying the Palpatine name still reeks of burying her darker side, which worked really well for the Jedi Order.

Compare this ending of a lonely girl on a barren planet lying to strangers about her family name to the ending of The Return of the Jedi, where Luke, Han, and Leia are surrounded by life and celebration, and everyone is radiant with love and living family. Or compare it to the ending of The Last Jedi, where a Force-sensitive boy is looking up at shooting star. Or even the final scene of Revenge of the Sith, which takes place in the same spot after the fall of the Republic, the death of Padmé and the rise of Darth Vader -- but at least in that little spot there's love, family, life and hope.

Directed and co-written by J.J. Abrams, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stars Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Lupita Nyong’o, Domhnall Gleeson, Kelly Marie Tran, Joonas Suotamo, Billie Lourd, Keri Russell, Anthony Daniels, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams, and Carrie Fisher, with Naomi Ackie and Richard E. Grant.

#the rise of skywalker #reylo

[kinsbin]

Meditator Mediator

Title: Meditator Mediator Word Count: 1550 Pairing: Kelsey/Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi Wan/Anakin/Kai [Platonic Family]

Summary: Meditating with family is hard sometimes. Luckily Qui-Gon knows how to keep everyone in check. He’s proud of his daughter for following him, though. 

A/N: A piece for @soulnottainted​! I loved writing this, family is so good and I appreciate it so much sobs-

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“Relax… focus…”

“Your breathing is the force. You inhale it with every breath that you take. When you exhale, you exhale knowledge back into the world. This is the balance that the force requires. A perfect center to all things, no matter your emotions. You cast them aside in favor of a pure understanding of the universe. Starlight fills your veins and your eyes are suns as you-”

“Suns and stars are the same thing.”

Kelsey couldn’t stop the small bout of laughter that bubbled up in her lips at Kai’s deadpan comment. Obi Wan opened his own eye from his meditative stance and sent a sharp look of disapproval to the unimpressed human. Their only response was a raise of their eyebrow as Kelsey covered her own mouth to stop her snickering. Obi shifted his gaze from the left where Kai was to the right, where he shot Kelsey the same look of momentary disapproval in the process, as if wondering just how she could betray him by laughing at their middle sibling’s statement.

She could only give a light shrug in return, making Obi Wan roll his eyes.

“Look don’t you roll those stupid things at her,” Kai defended with a light prod to their brother’s arm, “I’m stating a fact. Suns are literally just stars that are close enough to the atmosphere of a planet to provide enough heat to support life. If you’re going to compare eyes to something, do better.”

“What would you prefer to compare it to?”

It was Anakin that spoke up next, his voice amused from the corner of the room where the door hung slightly ajar, ruining the calm space Obi Wan had put together for their meditative session:

“You could do something cool. Compare them to a racer.”

“Only you would find that cool, Anakin.” Obi Wan deadpanned back.

“Compare it to a supernova!” Kai suggested eagerly, “Oh - no wait better idea - compare it to a racer jet launching itself INTO a supernova!”

Obi groaned, making the three of the others laugh around him as they all grinned brightly at one another. It was rare to have everyone home at the same time, Kelsey couldn’t help but think with something of amusement lacing the tone of her thoughts, but the laughter that bubbled up was always like this when they were together. Between the group’s horrible habit of snarking at one another, they had somehow learned to excel at comedic improvisation bits as well. The most obvious trait of which showed up only when Kelsey, Kai, and Anakin found it a necessary task to bother Obi Wan at any given opportunity.

As the oldest sibling, of course, he had it coming.

Anakin threw a few more teasing words at Obi Wan that Kelsey did not fully catch, instead watching as Obi Wan took a pillow from the corner of the room and chucked it vehemently in the other’s direction. Anakin cackled as he dodged the pillow, only to have it force-thrown at quicker velocity towards the spot he ran to. Kai cackled somewhere in the corner now, having stood up to move and stretch their body after a mostly useless session of them poking at their siblings already.

Kelsey was the only one who had remained sitting at some point, watching in a meditative pose as her siblings roughhoused with shrieks of frustration at one another. The home was warm with their energy, auras fading in and out of the force with the violent trepidation of fireworks across a night sky. She smiled despite herself, the faces of each of her family members warm in her heart as she pushed them into her memory. So that she could memorize each edge of them with the utmost detail that they could manage. What a wonderful and unique sort of sight, she decided, one that only her family could truly manage.

“Alright the three of you, that’s enough.”

“They started it!” Obi Wan couldn’t help but state as he pointed to Kai, who grinned easily as Qui Gon entered the room with nothing short of a fatherly stare of disappointment at them all. Anakin muttered something under his breath as he rubbed at the back of his neck, a light blush of embarrassment coating his sharp cheekbones as he did so. There was a continued stare to Qui Gon’s gaze as he waited for the group to quietly apologize to one another and to him.

Kelsey smiled when Qui Gon ushered the three out of the room to work on duties around the house (though he likely knew that Anakin would break away to work on some sky racer project and Obi Wan would go to the library with Kai to somehow make an effort to disprove the use of stars and the sun in semantic language across planets) and left the two of them in quiet comfort together.

“I see you were at least meditating properly,” Qui Gon chuffed as he stepped forward a few feet before sitting down at Kelsey’s side. The statement made a giggle curl out from the woman’s lips as she shrugged lightheartedly.

“I was slightly distracted by their antics,” Kelsey admitted, “After all, you saw that show.”

“If there’s anything Kai is good at, it’s riling Obi Wan up.” He agreed with a hearty chuff.

“I mean, Ani doesn’t help. They’re always ganging up on him.”

“So are you when the mood suits you.”

“Why, Master! To think I’m nothing if not supportive of my brother is truly a cruel fate!”

The two stared at one another for a long moment before a laughter echoed between them. It was a pleasant and familiar sound, one that filled them with comfort as the two revelled in their moment together as they always seemed to do. It wasn’t that Kelsey disliked spending time with her siblings, certainly, but there was… a comfort with Qui-Gon Jinn that the others did not have. A strong and brave sort of feeling that left Kelsey wanting to be something better than she was. To always improve.

To make him proud. Not that he wasn’t of her already of course.

“Do you wish to continue with your meditation?” Qui-Gon requested with polite curiosity, “I’d love to join you, if so.”

Kelsey felt her heart light up and she couldn’t help the smile that spread on her lips as she nodded:

“Please do.”

It brought them into the lull of comfortable silence within the few moments of the agreement, both their eyes shut as their breathing even out. Breaths quickened and slowed to match one another as they meditated, feeling the flow of the force push through their bodies carefully in its exploration of the world around them.

The force was like that in strange ways, much like a finicky child still accepting those who asked it questions. Qui-Gon had taught her to treat the force with patience: nothing came out of rushing itself into full power and hurting your own form in the process. The force was a thing to be carefully understood and read with patience. Jedi training was as long as it was because of the understanding the force required against the natural instincts of human nature.

It was always easier to understand it with Qui-Gon, though.

It was as if the force behaved differently with her master around than it did with anyone else. When Anakin or Obi Wan used the force it was intense. A heat of suddenness that would wash over Kelsey’s form and startle her into adapting to it, it left no room for error nor did it leave any space for breathing on occasion. Kai was not as strong to the force as others, certainly, and their force was a little more than a sliver of an insect in a meadow of grass. Barely there but there nonetheless, just difficult to connect with even when they seemed to try their hardest.

Qui-Gon Jinn’s force was perfect to her. It slithered out of his form with an aura of patience as it prodded at her own mind. She allowed it willingly, of course, and offered a strand of her own thoughtful force to it in return. It was like she could feel each end meld and join together in the perfect concoction of closeness. She could feel her breathing ease in with his own and the world around them faded into nothing but the two of them as they searched for the inner peace that would make them stronger Jedi at last.

“Your force is growing stronger,” Qui-Gon couldn’t seem to help but comment through their peaceful time together, “More brave in its exploration outside of you… It’s impressive in such a short amount of time, you should be proud.”

Kelsey smiled despite herself, her eyes still shut in concentration.

“I have a brilliant master to thank for that.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, dearest, you’re stronger than you think. You’ll make a fine Jedi soon.”

The compliment coming from his lips, rumbling out of the base of his chest, made Kelsey blush as she cracked an eye open. Qui-Gon was staring at her with both of his eyes open now, his smile warm as he watched her with a sense of pride. Pride, yes, he was proud of her. The thought of him caring enough about her to be proud almost made an unwanted emotion swell in her chest. Kelsey smiled back at the man with an appreciative nod.

“QUI-GOOOOON, OBI WAN WON’T LET ME READ THE HOLOPAD HE PULLED OUT FROM THE LIBRARY MAKE HIM GIVE IT TO ME.”

“I LET YOU READ IT AND YOU SAID IT WAS BORING.”

“YEAH BUT NOW I WANT TO READ IT! SO GIVE ME IT-”

The obnoxious interruption startled the two into a small chuckle of laughter, their grins bright as Qui-Gon stood up and offered his hand out to help Kelsey up as well. She took it, the two rising and keeping their hands in one another’s for a moment longer as Qui-Gon sighed.

“Now then, let’s see what is so important with your siblings they had to interrupt us.”

Siblings… Yes. That’s what they were. Family. Qui-Gon was family too. Kelsey couldn’t help but smile brighter as she followed after him.

Through better or worse, they were family. Through it all, they were there for one another.

Just as it should be.

#kinley writes #self ship #self insert #platonic self ship #platonic selfship #self ship community #self insert community

[sonderwalker]

haven’t posted any writing in a while but chapter 4 of welcome home is up!

summary: A misunderstanding between a Obi-Wan and Anakin boils over into a fight where feelings are left unsaid... for a little while that is. Obi-Wan is perplexed by what seems to be a sudden change in Anakin's mood. Anakin runs away after the confrontation comes to a head, and Obi-Wan searches to find his apprentice in the cold, rainy night of Coruscant, before someone else does, or something else gets to him first. They have a heart to heart after that.

chapter four is under the cut!

Obi-Wan watched as healers, nurses, and doctors passed by, moving through the halls of healing. With his back against the wall, he watched as time slowly passed, waiting for news about Anakin. He knew that several hours had passed- the ache in his joints from sitting in one position for so long was telling him that more than anything. But he couldn’t bring himself to move. Not until he got more news about Anakin.

He felt his eyelids drooping, but they would snap open after a moment as his anxiety fought with his exhaustion. Master Che came from around a corner and Obi-Wan quickly stood up, eager to hear any news.

“Master.” He said, his voice hushed. Obi-Wan looked at her- while she was a stern and stoic woman, he had never seen her look weary the way she did now. She started at him for a moment before speaking.

“Padawan Skywalker is going to be fine.” She said before he could say anything else. Obi-Wan let out a huge sigh of relief, releasing hours of anxiety that had been building up.  

“But,” She continued. “It will take some time before he is back to feeling like his normal self.”

“How long?” Obi-Wan asked.

“At least a month.” She said and shrugging. “It could be longer.” Obi-Wan opened and closed his mouth again, unsure of how he was going to break to Anakin that he was going to have to spend the next month sitting still and not doing very much. Master Che sighed.

“I know that your Padawan is an active boy. But trust me, he will not have the energy to be moving around like how he did before for at least two weeks.” Obi-Wan frowned and reached a hand up to stroke his beard to hide the concern in his expression.

“Obi-Wan.” Master Che said in a soft voice. “While the chest infection wouldn’t be that much of a problem on its own, it’s the infection on his arm that is worrisome. Do you know anything about when he could have hurt himself?” He crossed his arms, deep in thought about when Anakin could have done something to injure himself.

“Well…” He began. “If I didn’t know about it until now, that means that he was probably doing something that he didn’t want me knowing about.” Obi-Wan muttered. “And my first guess would be that he was working on some project somewhere and didn’t want me to find out about it.”

Master Che nodded. “That makes sense. Had he been more closed off than usual?”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan replied. “His mood got worse as the week went on.”

“Well, I think that tells us what we need to know. He probably was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing- was worried about your reaction and decided to hide the wound instead of getting help.”

“But what about the chest infection?” Obi-Wan asked, trying to push down the guilt that was rising.

“For that, I would assume that he was trying to hide that as well.” Master Che said. She sighed.

“It is obvious that your padawan has learned many things from you, including a lack of self-preservation skills.” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry when he heard her say that. He decided to change the subject.

“When will he wake up?” He asked, anxious to see his apprentice.

“It’s hard to say. We had to sedate him to stop the convulsions. It should wear off in a few hours, but he won’t be in any condition to hold any kind of conversation. Right now, we are more focused on clearing the blood infection than the chest one.” She paused to look at Obi-Wan’s confused expression before continuing.

“The chest infection, while probably a nuisance, is not life threatening. Had Skywalker waited longer before getting help for the blood infection however, it would have been very likely that we would have had to consider amputation.” Obi-Wan gasped softly.

“He is a healthy child. I am sure he will make a full recovery. It will just take time.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“But for now, I would suggest that you focus on getting some rest yourself, Kenobi.” Master Che said. They heard Bant call her name from another room and Master Che walked off, leaving Obi-Wan alone with his thoughts once again.

 Obi-Wan had never seen Anakin be so still in his life. His padawan was always on the move, and never seemed to tire out. Asking more questions than Obi-Wan had answers. Pushing whatever limits he could. But now, as Obi-Wan stood by Anakin’s bedside, he wished that he were dealing with a hyperactive teenager instead of one who looked like he was on death’s doorstep. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent, and his face was pale aside from the fever. Obi-Wan looked at the machines by his bedside: an oxygen monitor, heart monitor, several IVs, and data pads with notes and charts. He looked back down at Anakin- who was now wearing a white tunic and saw the infection in his arm. Obi-Wan winced while looking at the angry, red lines that ran up and down his arm. He looked out the window, at the afternoon sunlight streaming through the window. Speeders passed by, casting temporary shadows against the buildings. He watched them go by, not really focused on what was in front of him.

Yes, he was definitely going to have a serious talk with Anakin once he was well enough.

He heard a cough and jumped. Obi-Wan quickly turned around and saw Anakin trying to sit up while coughing. He quickly rushed over and helped him sit up, and felt his body shake as the coughing continued.

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan said sternly, “How are you feeling?” He watched as Anakin blinked a few times, like as if he were trying get rid of the mind fog from the fever.

“Tired.” He rasped out. He brought a hand up to rub his eyes, and then looked down at the IV that was inserted into his wrist. He frowned, and then looked back up at Obi-Wan, who had now sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Anakin,” he repeated as he watched his apprentice lean back into the pillows, his eyes half open. He lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Obi-Wan sighed.

“I should go get a healer. I’m sure they will want to check in on you and make sure everything is alright.”

“Later.” Anakin whispered, his eyes closing again.

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan sighed.

“Master, I’m tired.” Anakin replied, his voice cracking on the last word. Obi-Wan felt that tug on his heartstrings.

“Fine. Later.” He said.

 “It is now later, Anakin.” Bant said as she approached his bedside. Anakin’s eyes cracked open, and they still looked dazed from the fever.

“You’re lucky Obi-Wan let you rest some more- if I was your master, I would have had the healer check on you as soon as I saw you were awake.” She said as she picked up a nearby data pad and began to read through its contents.

“Oh, I wanted to, believe me.” Obi-Wan reported from her side. A ghost of a smile formed on Anakin’s face, but his eyes still stayed mostly shut.

“Well, his fever has gone down, so that means that the antibiotics are working.” Bant said as she continued to look at the data pad. “Although you’ll have to stay on bedrest for at least another standard week, Anakin.” He hummed in response, his eyes closed again, and she glanced at Obi-Wan who was trying to conceal his worry in the force.

“Don’t worry about it.” She whispered. “I’m sure Master Che told you that he was going to be really out of it for a while. Until his fever breaks, he won’t be very responsive.” Obi-Wan nodded.

“The only concern we have about that is that if he’s too tired to eat on his own we might have to insert a feeding tube.” Bant muttered. She leaned over and gently shook Anakin’s shoulder, who groaned and then coughed.

“Do you feel like eating anything?” She asked him gently. He shook his head.

“Not even some juice? Some tea?” She questioned. Anakin shook his head again. Bant stood up straight and looked at Obi-Wan. She sighed.

“We can try asking him again later, but if he still says no then we would have to consider inserting the tube. Do you know when the last time he ate was?”

“Yesterday, lunch, I think. He ran out before we had dinner.” Obi-Wan replied. She nodded.

“His body isn’t going to be able to fight off these infections unless we are able to get some more nutrients into him.” She commented. Obi-Wan leaned over and shook Anakin shoulder again.

“Anakin.” He said softly. “If you keep refusing food, then the healers will have to insert a feeding tube.”

“And you don’t want that.” Bant added on. “So, it would be better if you could try and eat a little something on your own.” Anakin whined into his pillow, but after a moment he began to sit up, using shaky arms to help push himself up. The two of them leaned forward and helped him sit up.

“Great!” Bant said. “I’ll be back in a moment with a juice pouch.” She said as she walked away. Anakin leaned forward, resting his head on his master’s shoulder and sighed.

“I know you’re tired, Anakin, but I promise you can sleep after this.” Obi-Wan whispered softly as he rested a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. While he knew that Anakin’s fever had gone down, he could still feel the intense heat against his neck that was coming off of him. He felt Anakin nod, and the wave of chills that overtook his body. He heard the door open and Bant walked in, holding a purple juice pouch in one hand.

“You don’t have to finish it, but you have to try and take a few sips.” She said as she handed Anakin the drink. He took it with shaky hands and Obi-Wan was pleasantly surprised when he was able to finish about half of it before handing it back to her and curling up underneath the covers. Bant chuckled slightly.

“It must be weird to see him so quiet.” She remarked. Obi-Wan nodded.

“Quite.” He replied, watching Anakin’s chest rise and fall as he slept.

#star wars fanfic #fanfic #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #writing is hard

[the-fanciful-fangirl]

Night Terrors Chapter 4: Audience

This is also posted on Ao3, see link at bottom of post. 

There was once a time when Anakin Skywalker had tried to explain how the Force felt to his wife. It was on a particularly rare occasion when they both had a few days respite from an otherwise endless war. 

It hadn’t been easy to explain that to Padmé that she felt… warm and safe and firey all at the same time right in his center. Or that he could tell from a buzzing below his feet that the couple downstairs was having their third argument of the night. Or that sometimes he felt a tapping on his right temple that meant Ahsoka was making mischief. 

So, when Darth Vader felt a distinct, phantom sensation, like two small hands were squeezing and pulling his right wrist, his eyes shot open in the white bleakness of his mediation chamber. He had been trying to manage a hours worth of fitful sleep, allowing his lungs to breathe the enriched air his chamber provided. But that pulling feeling always meant the same thing. Veré. 

Scrambling for the controls to lower his helmet, he cursed the infernal machines and Obi-Wan for good measure. He was exiting the pod before his respirator even had time to take over. Now was not the time for his daughter to be kept waiting. 

---

It was not the first time that Veré Naberrie found herself thinking about her mother.   

She asked very rarely about her mother. Her father often thought of his late wife. Sometimes Veré would catch images of her mother bleeding in through the Force. But those flashes of memory were always followed by intense grief and shame. So, she didn’t ask, didn’t press. She might have been young, and she knew intrinsically that her father would never hurt her but he did have a nasty temper when provoked. Veré wasn’t stupid. Her father sometimes did bad things. And she knew that the passing of her mother had been one of those bad things. But she also knew how deeply her father felt. At least that's what she told herself. 

So it had come as no surprise that, upon passing her mother’s official portrait in the Imperial Palace, her father had quickened his pace. Not that he was walking slow to begin with. They passed dozens of rooms and paintings. More than once, Veré had found herself behind and had quickened her pace to catch up with her father’s long strides as he led her through these unfamiliar hallways. 

It had been a year and a half since father and daughter had been reunited and Veré honestly surprised that this visit had not happened sooner.  

Though Vader often kept the specifics of his daily duties from his daughter, Veré was keenly aware that her father answered only to the Emperor. Her father had never quite explained that he didn’t actually like or trust the Emperor but for all the times that he’d urged her to keep her presence in the Force hidden, had prepared her for her eventual meeting with the man, and his general feeling in the Force whenever the man was waiting on the other side of a holocall, Veré had caught on. Her father’s reaction to Galen flippantly referring to the Emperor as Vader’s “boss” had also been fairly enlightening.

Eventually, they had reached the massive black doors of the Emperor’s throne room and Vader had turned back to regard his daughter. She was dressed in a dark, simple dress that looked nothing like the leisure wear she typically sported around their quarters aboard his Star Destroyer. She had also apparently learned to do her own hair into rather well done braids that fell on either side of her head. 

Veré felt very out of place and out of sorts but she nodded to her father nonetheless and stepped to his side as the doors parted. 

The chamber that lay beyond was even more impressive than the doors but it was horribly dark and Veré found herself squinting to see the man that sat on a boxy, silver throne at the center of the room. She took a careful step into the room and immediately felt cold, colder than she had ever felt in space or when her father was very, very cross. This was an entirely different kind of cold, one that felt like it might freeze her solid and then her shatter into a million shards. This cold felt like it was watching her, appraising her, around her and in her and-

A wry laugh came from the throne. 

“My friend, you didn’t tell me the child was shy.” A dark voice intoned. “Not that you told me much at all.” It added without humor.

Veré’s senses reached out to her father and though she could still hear the patterned sound of his breathing, his presence in the Force was wavering. 

“My friend, I thought we had no secrets among one another?” The Emperor said, with a kindness that Veré would never believe was genuine. She hated that her father kept walking forward and hated it more when she followed. When they both kneeled at the bottom of the stairs that led up to this man, who seemed to think their lives were his, another feeling of Veré’s, she thought that the coldness might just swallow her whole. Her whole body clenched when a knobby cane touched her chin and forced her to look up. 

Veré felt the oppressive cold hold her solidly in place as the man studied her face. The very sight of his own visage made her want to turn and run but there was no moving now. As soon as the cane came, it went, and Veré fell back on her hands, gasping a little. She felt her father’s presence in the Force try to nudge her comfortingly. 

The Emperor moved back to sit on his throne while Vader and Veré stayed on their knees. Nothing had ever felt so wrong in her entire life.

“She looks so much like her mother, Vader. Perhaps that’s why she’s turned you so soft.” 

Vader raised his helmet fractionally to look the Emperor in the face.

“Master, I-” 

“No!” 

Veré felt her father be forced back down into the kneeling position. 

“Remember your place Lord Vader, it seems your daughter,” the word was said with more venom than Veré had ever heard,  “has made you forget who you serve. Bring in the boy!” The Emperor turned to the Red Guards dragging a gagged and bound figure between them into the room.  With his focus momentarily elsewhere, Veré was able to stand and scream. 

“Galen!” 

The word had barely ripped from her mouth before Veré felt her father’s arms encircle her and drag her back just in time to miss the streak of lightning that scorched the ground where she had stood. All at once, Galen was thrown to the ground before the throne and Vader and Veré fell back, landing in an unceremonious  pile on the floor. The Guards left without a word. 

“Not one but two children, two apprentices.” The Emperor snarled.  

“Master, they aren-” Vader’s words died on his scarred lips as the Emperor turned away, his whole focus on Galen. His arms raised and a scream tore from Veré’s throat as a fury of blue lightning sprang from the man’s bony fingers and pounded into Galen. The boy’s screams echoed throughout the chamber. 

In a moment of pure fear, Veré pushed herself up from where she had sprawled in her father’s lap, using the Force to escape his too slow grasp and burst forward. She took two long steps before she planted herself and pushed her own hands forward. A burst of Force energy blasted into the Emperor’s side and while the man didn’t fall over as Veré had hoped, he and his barrage of Galen did falter. But the old man was quicker than he looked and the young girl soon found herself on the receiving end of the Emperor’s preferred mode of punishment. 

Her whole body felt like it was vibrating for a split second before all her muscles contracted painfully and she felt a burning she could not describe. But only for a few seconds and then she was falling hard onto the cold floor. So she felt more than saw her father jump up and race forward, his lightsaber, a sacred thing she had only seen him using in the training room aboard their ship, ablaze in his hand. She also felt his own pain as the same lighting pulsed into his already damaged form. But this time it lasted much longer. 

Veré sat up in time to see the Emperor looming over her father, his relentless punishment finally over. She couldn't muster any more energy to move from her place but she looked over at Galen, who was still moaning in pain near the base of the throne. She was so distracted by her friend’s plight that she didn’t notice the Emperor had moved until his cane came down sharply, a mere handbreadth from her fingers. 

She looked apprehensively to where her father lay unmoving on the floor but the cane came and forced her chin, painfully this time, to look up. 

“You will not touch me with the Force again child. Am I understood?” The words felt like they were boring into Veré’s very soul and the words that sprang unbidden to her lips were equally as vile.

“Yes, Master.” 

---

It took Vader the entire length of the living area to realize that the warm hum that usually occupied the first bedroom in the hall, was not there. It had not been there since he and Galen had awoken back in the apartment, the boy locked in his room, and the Dark Lord in his bacta tank.

“You forgot she was gone too?” 

Galen had appeared in the hall. The circles under his eyes were far too dark and even in the dim lights of the night cycle, Vader could see the vine-like bruises that Sidious’ lighting had left.

All manner of his own scars from that day hadn’t faded either. 

“Shouldn’t we remember?” The boy asked hoarsely. “She’s been there like forever.”

Seven weeks and three days. Vader noted to himself. Three whole military campaigns had been waged in that time. 

Galen was looking back at him, a look Vader had never seen on his face.

“How do we stop him? How do we get her back?” He asked both innocently and darkly.

Vader regarded the boy for a moment before speaking and pulling out his lightsaber all at once and faster than Galen had thought possible.

“We train.” 

Vader surged forward. 

Neither of them went back to sleep that night. 

---

Neither as it turned out did Veré Naberrie. Lightyears away, she woke up alone, the phantom feeling of her father’s consuming, protecting presence, vanishing like smoke. 

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Another chapter! Not a super happy one but it was coming whether I wanted it to or not. It was incredibly fun to write even if I had to hurt my lovelies. 

I have this chapter along with the rest of the fic posted on Ao3. Click here for link. Also apparently I forgot to post Chapter 3: New Face here on Tumblr where Galen comes into the picture so if you missed that head to Ao3 by clicking here.

Let me know what you think of this latest chapter!! (I love feedback)

#star wars #fanfiction #darth vader #oc #galen marek #starkiller #original character #nightmare #sheev palpatine #darth sidious #padme amidala #my fanfiction #night terrors au #is it bad that i enjoyed writing this chapter?