#Chronic tension

[the-anxiety-man]

I will never do anything as often as I try to relax my body. only for it to stiffen up again without me noticing like some kind of reverse musical statues game

#anxiety #actuallyanxious #forgot the word for relax and almost used untense... fitting #mine #chronic stress #chronic tension

[herespaaa]

Different Types of Massage Services: What works best for you | HereSpa

Stress and muscle tension have become common concerns for many individuals. At HereSpa, we understand the importance of finding the right massage therapy to suit your needs and preferences. With a variety of massage techniques available, we're here to guide you in selecting the best type of massage for your specific goals.

#Massage therapy #Stress relief #Muscle tension #Relaxation massage #Swedish massage #Deep tissue massage #Chronic tension #Knots and tightness #Reflexology massage #Holistic wellness #Sports massage #Performance enhancement #Injury prevention #Recovery massage #Personalized massage

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good Morning, World.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket. #The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home. #Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!' #WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role. #He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against. #Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC. #Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules. #That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together. #And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful. #It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain. #JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.' #and WWX said '[read]' #It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.

[the-moogs]

sorry more rejanis bullshit I just think they’re neat 😩

#and by neat I mean messy and complicated and sorta toxic but hold so much love and tension and history #rejanis #regina george #janis imi'ike #mean girls #I stand by Reginald ‘has chronic back pain and a scar from her life saving surgery’ George

[thesoftestmess]

this might not be canon, but personally i need furina to struggle a whole lot longer and harder with post-prophecy depression and mental illness. She's played the same tiring and painful act for five centuries, was constantly in a life or death scenario and had to hide her true self from the world the entire time and she won't just recover in a few years from that.

There's parts of her that will never ever be compatible with a simple human lifestyle, and parts of her that are irreparably broken. She isn't sure of her personality after everything that happened and the lie she had to live. She slips between personas and her archon temperament comes through like a defensive mechanism at any sign of conflict or trouble.

She's plagued by nightmares. Of the flood, of the trial, of the people closest to her conspiring against her behind her back, and of being found out in a million terrible ways. Of saying the wrong thing, making a wrong decision. Of being found out, of being found out, of being found out.

Lying or keeping a secret feels existential still. Being honest still feels life threatening sometimes. Putting herself first feels like putting both hands on a hot stove.

She doesn't live in the palais anymore, doesn't have to sit through trials anymore, but her heart and soul are still there. In her dreams she's still at the place she spent her entire life's memories at.

Yes, she can make new memories, but it'll take time. More time than she has, maybe, now that she's the closest to being human she'll ever be.

She'll never be human in the way the people around her are.

What sort of human has 500 years worth of memories after all? What human tells personal anecdotes and mixes up their centuries?

What sort of human can feel the absence of their divinity like it's a physical thing? A voice that will never speak to her again, or keep her alive? What human has no family, no childhood?

What human remembers so little, but still remembers death somewhere deep within?

She jerks out of sleep from it sometimes, gasping for air, and spends the rest of the night awake, almost frozen by fear. The flood is over, but it's hard to convince her racing heart that the danger is too.

Humans have entire family trees that go generations back, but Furina was put into this world a solitary creature, her blood heavy with sin ever since she turned human.

She owns a hydro vision now and doesn't know how to yield it, but the ocean still calls out to her some days. Sea creatures flock to her like they can smell she's not human enough.

She learns how to make little hydro companions for herself, so the darkness and emptiness of her apartment feels less ominous when she lies awake at night.

She can't turn her vision into a weapon quite yet, but when it rains the droplets seem to cling to her. She's watched them roll upwards along her arm, watched them gather in her palm like kin. She wonders if sea creatures flock to neuvillette in a similar way, or if his immense power makes them recoil. She wonders if elemental dragons can feel regret. Wonders if he, too, ever feels entirely foreign in that human body he was given. If he, too, lies awake trying to grasp faint memories of a past life.

She's extremely human in the way she's plagued by body pains from not being able to relax just one day in five centuries. The years catch up with her once she gets out of survival mode, and fatigue is a constant companion now. Sleep comes difficultly and getting out of bed was easier when the fate of a whole nation depended on it. On her. She's never lived for just herself before and some days she's not sure she wants to.

She did her duty and earned her retirement and the story turned out well, all things considered. She still has people by her side, some of them.

Still, she feels raw and tired and overwhelmed by the life lying ahead of her. As a human and as someone who will always be Something Else.

#you can have your perfectly competent fully healed hyper independent furina #if i can have my mess of a person multiply-disordered and trying her best furina #like i'm sorry but this babygirl can fit sooooo much ptsd and depression and personality disorder into her #that's a girl with lifelong chronic pain from not being allowed to relax for a day in five centuries #that's a girl who needs a teeth protector at night because she'd grind he #*them into a fine powder from all the tension she still holds #that's someone who gets so low so suddenly and loes all her joy in the matter of minutes #that's someone who wants to catch up on a lifetime of being human but is bone-deep exhausted #and crushed by fatigued #my disability beam went all over her like neuv's water gun #now she's sopping wet and shivering i'm sorry #genshin impact #furina #fari talks fic

[appoxy-is-tired-and-in-pain]

the tension between me and my muscles is too strong to be romantic or sexual

#chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic disability #chronic fatigue #disability #invisible disability #disabled #spain without the s #muscle tension

[queenlucythevaliant]

Want to rant about this post, because it makes me seethe every time I come across it. Nothing against anyone who's reblogged it, just want to give my two cents.

A migraine is NOT the same as a bad headache! Migraine a specific neurological condition which is frequently (though not always) characterized by headache, as well as numerous other symptoms. They're caused by some combination of nerve inflammation and uneven vasoconstriction/dialation in the brain. As such, there's no such thing as a "sinus migraine" or a "tension migraine."

Acupressure and massage *may* help to relieve some measure of migraine pain if you can stand being touched long enough, but it won't help the underlying neurological condition, which is more similar to a slow-motion seizure than any other type of headache. I'm sure pressure helps with tension headaches and maybe other types of headaches, as described, but those are not migraines! Words have meanings, gang.

However, in calling these non-migraine headaches "migraines" and then suggesting that they are easy to treat in this manner, the post suggests that migraines are a much lighter matter than they actually are. This, and discussions like this, cause real migraine to be taken less seriously by the culture at large.

Fundamentally, the thing about the original post that irritates me so much is that basically none of the people on it seem to have any idea what migraine actually is. There's been a move in recent years to try to make people more aware that medical language is very specific and shouldn't be abused (ie OCD isn't just "having a messy room bothers me," it's a specific disorder that, if untreated, can massively harm people's lives), which I think is great. At the same time, there's a growing tendency to pathologize everything, from personality tics to low-grade headaches, often in the strongest terms possible. While I'm not for the policing of language in general, I do feel that it's at best insensitive and at worst actively harmful to use specific medical terms in situations where they simply don't apply.

Most headaches are not migraines. Speaking as though they are leads to a misinformed attitude around migraine which suggests that everybody gets them, they're easy to treat, and they're not that bad actually. This attitude has caused me material difficulty so many times over the last nine years that I couldn't even being to tally it.

#i am so sick to death of seeing that post #chronic illness is hilarious #so far it's been a hard nerve block day folks #WOULD THAT I could just press on the back of my neck instead of getting SKEWERED IN THE HEAD WITH NEEDLES #🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 #'tension migraines' gimme a break #pontifications and creations

[xmcu-fietro]

people with chronic fatigue—how do you manage the fatigue when you have a lot of things to do?

my doctor thinks I may have fibromyalgia but she’s been overall pretty unhelpful/dismissive, and I need a few tips for figuring out how to conserve/boost energy as I finish the semester and prepare for a busy summer. Caffeine doesn't help me because of my ADHD, and sleep rarely helps.

Specifically, is there anything that helps energy while standing up? I don’t have any issues with walking, but when my fatigue/muscle and joint pain/muscle tension flares a lot it makes standing up pretty exhausting, so outside of making myself go to classes when I can I pretty much stay in bed or on the couch as much as possible, but that’s not good for my grades or my mental health.

Any help is appreciated!

#tagging things I think may reach people who know more about this--apologies if this clogs any tags! #fibromyalgia #myalgic encephalomyelitis #chronic fatigue syndrome #me/cfs #chronic fatigue #adhd #actually adhd #chronic illness #joint hypermobility #hypermobility spectrum disorder #physical health #invisible disability #joint pain #muscle tension #fietro's personal posts #accommodations #disability aids #accessibility #out of spoons #spoon theory #spoonie #brain fog

[furiousgoldfish]

I've talked about the 'burnout' and the 'collapse' traumatized people can experience as an adult, as a consequence of an abusive childhood. I realize I've made it seem like a very scary, painful and debilitating thing to happen, and I want to make clarifications about why it happens, and what can you do to mitigate the effects if you're worried it might happen to you.

One part of it, is that living a life while being traumatized, is much more exhausting than living a life as an emotionally healthy person. A big part of our life energy was spent surviving the childhood, and now, a big part of our energy is being spent pushing the trauma down; this is essential for our survival. A part of our mind is always struggling just to keep bad memories suppressed, to keep all of the fear, anger and grief where it can't actively reach us every second of our life, because we couldn't survive if we kept feeling all of our emotions at all times. It enables us to go thru our day-to-day life, and to keep our life ‘looking’ normal, but it does take a lot of energy, it's like suppressing a volcano from erupting, and our energy is exhausted by it.

This, however, means that actively processing trauma, bringing it up and feeling it, however awful and painful it might feel, will eventually free some of your energy up. I remember getting some of my energy back, bit by bit, as I managed to process my experiences and save them as a long-term memories, instead of the repressed ones.

Another part of it is the amount of tension and stress we go thru in our usual day. Being traumatized, a lot of things will act like triggers, and not all of them have to be the huge, dramatic triggers. Sometimes it's just, seeing a stranger on the street looking dangerous, and tensing up. Someone stands too close or asks you an uncomfortable question, and you're anxious, scared, and you spend the night upset and stressed. Being extra worried you won't be able to do something perfectly, and freezing up. Putting large amounts of energy and time into a project because your worth is now depending on it being perfect, you're always bending backwards to get your redemption. Not allowing yourself to take breaks, feeling stressed and guilty when you rest, not being able to find emotional support during hardships, taking on more than you can handle. Stress-worrying about every event where you have to be in contact with the abusers, or anyone else extorting power over you.

These are things that commonly happen to us, and they all result in stress and tension. This causes all of our muscles to tense up, our fight-flight-freeze-fawn response is always on high alert, we spend hours in the anxious state, not knowing how to calm down state, and during all these times, our body is using every bit of available energy for survival, because we're in a survival fright. That is, extremely draining, like fighting for our lives every second of our day. It's no wonder that afterwards all we want is to curl up in the bed, and forget about everything, just trying to find a place where we could get our body to relax a bit, to let us breathe. Constant tension in our muscles will result in chronic pain, which is another draining thing to go thru.

And trying to live a normal life will expose us to more of these, we are unlikely to be able to avoid the triggers while reaching for success in every area of life. We get exposed to people, to situations, to deadlines, stress, expectations, pressure, public image, authoritative figures, criticism, competition, imposter syndrome, fright that we're not as good as everyone else thinks we are. The stress of all this can be too much, even for a normal person. But for us, it's not only the regular amount of stress; the triggers turn stress into pure state of panic and survival fright. We don't only fear we will lose everything we've ever worked for, we fear that we'll be tortured and psychologically destroyed if we don't deliver expectations. We fear we'll be abandoned and left for dead, and that we deserved it.

This is why we need the collapse. Constantly putting ourselves thru all of this, is debilitating for us. Burning out, and isolating ourselves in our room in order to grieve, fear, panic, and cry, it's one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Crying is a powerful way to release stress, and it will release the pressure on our bodies and minds. Experiencing all of the emotions we're pushing down constantly, will hurt a lot, but it will give these feelings a way to exit our body, so we have less to carry around constantly. Isolating will grant us a protection from triggers. No longer exposing ourselves to triggers opens up the possibility of feeling safe, comfortable and self-protected, and that is a foundation we need in order to start building our lives. We cannot build our lives on anxiety-driven situations that make us filled with dread and panic, it has to be a place of comfort and safety.

The collapse isn't something that is absolutely inevitable, it happens because of the way our life is constructed via abuse. Growing up abused, you're programmed very intensely to live your life for others and to respond to the expectations of you. You're expected to reach success on your own time, without any help or support, while being extremely convenient to everyone else, and while being everyone's outlet for their anger, stress, and pain. You're taught to consider this normal, and to tough it out. You're conditioned to consider every single person in your life, but yourself. You know what everyone around you wants from you, how to adjust to their needs, but you are shut down immediately if you have a want or a need of your own. This inevitably leads to a life built on other person's needs. You're building your life based on what you know, and other people's expectations of you, is all you know about yourself.

So your life ends up in overworking yourself insanely in order to reach everyone's expectations, while never being able to examine what would make your life easy to live, comfortable to exist in, or even pleasurable for you yourself. You end up racing for goals that are not yours, that don't even progress your life in any direction that would be good or useful to you. You end up tangled in the obstacles of capitalism, stressing alone about why this isn't easy for you anymore, trying to reach success that would redeem you in the eyes in your abusers, or in your own eyes. You believe you need this redemption, that things would get better, or even just bearable, if you managed to succeed. You being traumatized doesn't even make it to the equation, you do not hold space for your emotions, you do not see yourself as a human being, worth of support and comfort. Anyone would get broken by this. Everyone, no matter how strong, needs comfort and reassurance in the times of stress. Even when things are going well, everyone needs support. Everyone needs acknowledgment and warmth and confirmation that they're doing well.

Living a life that isn’t set up for your well being, and does not provide you with satisfaction and pleasure, is exhausting. You have to keep it up in order not to offend or disappoint anyone (which is your biggest fear), but you're living your life in desperation, trying your best to complete tasks that are not here by your own will. You end up procrastinating and feeling dreadful, because now it feels like you're wasting your life, missing opportunities and ruining the ones you have. You feel empty because there's no support, nobody cares if you do well, but you'll be tortured if you fail. In those circumstances, not one thing you do is by your own will, it's coerced. This entire life is coerced. Every movement you make to appease, to convenience, is a move against your own will. And doing things against your own will, is traumatizing, and exhausting. Your instincts will eventually act up against it. Your willpower to do things will drain. You'll become paralyzed by the executive dysfunction because your body won't want to go thru with it anymore. Even though you're screaming at yourself that you have to, you have to, you have no choice. Your body will fight you. It will seek a collapse.

Collapse means that you're finally, finally taking your own traumatization into consideration. You're forced to acknowledge you own needs and your own limits; you can no longer tear yourself apart for a life that wasn't your choice. What you needed the entire time, was a life that was built on your own terms. A life that took your desires, needs and mental health status into consideration. Because you can build a life, regardless of how traumatized, torn down or terrified you are.

The collapse will slowly teach you that not being able to do things is not the end of the world. It will slowly show you that rest is something you can no longer reject, and it's not making you lazy, or a bad person. It will create a space for you where you do not answer to anyone's expectations. The shame of disappointment and resting will hurt at first, but it will fade as you learn to develop compassion for yourself, because now you have to. You have to see yourself as someone who's been fighting alone all this time, who is now broken but still alive, and so desperately wants to rest and be comforted, and be free of everything that has broken them.  

And the life you build from it, it will not tolerate stress or pain. You will build it based on your own satisfaction. You will make it as safe and protected as possible, because you do not want to risk another collapse. You will abandon all of the activities that broke you in the past; some of these you will no longer be able to do anyway. Even if it's something you liked, but got linked with stress and abuse, it will become a taboo. You'll find things that bring you peace, and do those. You'll discover what eases your anxiety, and do that. You'll find people who find you worthy of support, and choose them. Your life will become yours, built on your own choices, using the knowledge you have about yourself. It will no longer be a never-ending cycle of stress and tension. And you'll be allowed to be tired, and take breaks, and have days where you're just resting in bed. Your body won't have it otherwise.

Now, I promised to tell you how to mitigate the collapse, and by now it must be obvious. It will be easy for me to write it down, but extremely difficult to do it in real life. Start abandoning the activities that bring you an immense amount of stress. Take anything that stresses you as a real-life danger to your mental health, and steer away from it. Decide that your health precedes anyone's expectations, and treat those expectations as destructive. Abandon all societal goalposts that don't bring you joy, dismiss everything they told you that you should be, or have achieved, by a certain age, these are toxic. Abandon the societal definition of success.

Find a place where you're safe to learn about yourself, what you enjoy, what calms you, what brings you peace. Seek out support even if you don't feel you're worthy, even if it doesn't feel like you have it bad enough yet. The only way to mitigate the collapse is to build a life that doesn't lead up to it. Abusive childhood very strongly sets us up for it, and makes sure we don't build self-compassion that is necessary in order to stop living a life that others have decided for us.

Also, don't feel bad if you don't have a choice but to live like that until you collapse. I couldn't stop it. A lot of us aren't at freedom to decide to stop, and we're not even convinced that things are going bad until our bodies decide it for us. I wasn't able to build my life for myself until I ran away from home, that's where I experienced the most severe collapse, when it was finally safe to do so. I don't regret it. The collapse was natural. It made me self-protective where my parents never did. It forced me to acknowledge my limitations where nobody would ever accept that they're real. It's also not an ideal thing to happen, because you can learn to be self-protective in a kind way, you can acknowledge your limitations with the help of support and self-compassion. This is more of an extreme you-don't-have-a-choice kind of way, which isn't pleasant, and happens only when there is no other way.

Don't be afraid of the collapse. If it happens, it's not your fault. You have not built a life that would lead you to a collapse, and you're not 'actively working towards it'. All of us are just trying our best to survive, to go thru as little pain as possible, and you're doing it too. If you happen to collapse, be gentle to yourself, and reject anyone who isn't gentle towards you. You deserve the rest, and you deserve the safety.

#the collapse #cptsd #trauma burnout #child abuse #abusive parents #trauma symptoms #living a life for others that burns you out #living with trauma #living while traumatized #chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #fight flight freeze fawn #survival fright #stress #tension #also you can collapse at any age #its not age restrictive #people collapse far into adulthood #and you can collapse as a child too #getting ptsd felt like collapse to me #and then running away from home was another one

[themogaidragon]

Chronic Daily Headches Pride Flag

Chronic daily headache (CDH): experiencing fifteen or more days with a headache per month. Chronic daily headaches is an umbrella term which consist of different sub-groups, primarily categorized as chronic tension-type headaches and chronic migraine headaches.

The flag is inspired by this chronic migraine flag, this chronic tension type headaches flag and this chronic pain flag.

Flag meanings:

Dark teal: migraine and headaches

Muted teal: all the types of CDH (cluster, hemicrania continua, idiopathic intracranial hypotension, migraine, tension-type, mixture of types, etc)

Greyish teal: other chronic pains and disabilities

Red/Maroon: chronic head pain

Muted purple: sleep problems and fatigue

Lavender: varying levels and types of pain

Purple: chronic pain

[Image ID: A flag with seven horizontal lines of the same size. Their colors are, from top to bottom, dark teal, muted teal, greyish teal, red, muted purple, lavender and dark purple. END ID]

#cdh #chronic pain #chronic daily headaches #chronic migraine #chronic headaches #chronic tension type headaches #chronic tension headaches #hemicrania continua #idiopathic intracranial hypotension #migraine

[fishnchip3011]

everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

#i almost popped a vein trying not to mention rowan in all of this so this post is more. consumable i guess #but rowan to me is soooooo perfect for him to me because rowan's whole thing is empathy and warmth #where it's a strength but also a weakness for him because he's also a chronic people pleaser and a doormat #out of the need he feels to make people feel valued which is a good thing but not when its to the point of self negligence #rowan gives rly good advice but overburdens himself cuz he feels responsible for ppl&doesnt give himself the same treatment he gives others #when he's with sebastian he helps him feel valued and sebastian learns to trust people more and not to immediately assume the worst of ppl #and seb is sooooooo perfect for rowan bc seb is vocal about what he dislikes and when hes not happy w something/one #and is good at setting boundaries whereas rowan is Not. he helps rowan learn how to say no to ppl and be more assertive #& think abt his own feelings more! they both help e/o vocalize their feelings #for rowan its vocalizing his opinions more and valuing himself more & for seb its vocalizing more for the sake of better communication #w other ppl so he can establish better trust & relations w ppl. and stop being so closed off/unapproachable LOL #their differences match up well but it also leads to arguments/tension cuz seb doesnt communicate and resorts to avoidance #and rowan is too pliant sometimes to the point where it hurts not just himself but the ppl around him including seb #also fun fact rowan is the type to cry when he gets really angry/upset & when seb resorts to avoidance instead of reassurance #(which is what rowan wants) rowan sometimes ends up catastrophizing & also bottles up his emotions similarly to seb #they always reconcile in the end tho even if it takes a while </3 they r both learning ok!!!!!!!! #not perfect to the point where they dont argue bc thats Impossible but they suit each other well. they r good for each other qwq #eon babbles #stardew valley #farmer rowan #<- i talk about him in tags. hehehe

[crazycatsiren]

My fellow spoonies, do any of you also get more tension headaches in the winter months, or is it just me?

#disabled #spoonie #cripple punk #chronic illness warrior #tension headaches

[capn-twitchery]

sorry for sappy on main but i wanted to say if you've left nice comments on my art or sent me an ask about my ocs in the last month, thank you so much, it really, really means the world to me!!♥︎

the past 3 or so years have been hell for me creatively for a lot of reasons, & even though it really knocked my confidence--i've been excited to draw & drawn more in the past month than i have in a Really Long Time ;; it's been nice

it's still something of a battle but thank you for helping me with it♥︎

#now if i can manage pain better and get more confidence back that the last few years have eroded. i will be Unstoppable #sorry this is sappy but my brain wants to be negative this weekend but i'm not gonna let it. sit down brain #fredspeaks #3 year summary is that my university experience was made Awful by a lot of health issues #and the stress of trying to work through it all has compounded into chronic muscle tension + pain #which had horrific effects on me mentally + creatively and it all Spirals. agh #i'm doing a bit better now at least!!! getting back on my feet. slowly #but my main point is art means a lot to me and i was scared to draw again for a really long time #so thank you all for helping with that even unknowingly ;; #ok essay concluded

[soupjug]

when i say i have daily headaches i don’t mean that i get a headache once a day, i mean that from the moment i wake up to the moment i fall asleep, i have a headache. i varies in intensity but it never goes away. and i feel like there’s a big difference that the people around aren’t understanding

#so far the response from my parents is that i need better sleep and i don’t eat enough / properly #i agree that i might be deficient in some vitamins and what not #but my lack access to nutritional food is not my fault #my therapist seems to think that it’s my anxiety and that’s how it presents itself #and so she’s referred me to a psychiatrist #but i’m hoping i get to a normal doctor before then to see if it’s anything else #i’ve been giving myself massages to see if it has anything to do with my muscle tension #and it’s far as I can tell it has no correlation #i’m not sure what type of headaches like this because where the pain is and how it feels varies a lot #It’s in my temples my forehead #it’s been in my temples my forehead my brow bone sometimes it goes down to my cheekbones #it’s also been in the back of my head sometimes it feels like it’s almost in the center of my skull #i’m not sure. I do know that coffee can make it worse as well as like sunlight. but beyond that I don’t know #moving to much ig #chronic headaches #mental illness #chronic illness

[soldier-poet-king]

I normally have the sleeps Too Much flavour of mental illness, but the sheer anxiety and stress about the Job Thing means I slept??? Barely at all??? And what sleep I did get was plagued by anxiety nightmares. So today is going swell I am definitely not Having A Time.

#the duality of fran #i live in a state of constant tiredness #but the insomnia tiredness feels different #its a different flavour that I'm not used to coping with #so today is just. hysterics. more than usual on the brink of bad #ppl who regular deal with insomnia are stronger than any us marine #im a needs way more sleep chronically tired person.i cant imagine having LESS sleep than i already get #once again why are the horrors so good at persisting #i also have a constant anxiety stomach ache since this whole thing started #food is the enemy i have to eat but at what cost (constant acid reflux) #AND a tension headache from clenching my jaw #waaaaaaaa #are my permanent eyebags and dark circles sexy enough for u #falltime emo means I'm back on my snk bullshit too #picked up back in the return to shiganshina arc #bc surely i am equipped to deal w erwins death and levis grief in my current state #this will not go badly at all.

[anartificialsatellite]

Sometimes when I have a headache it feels like my brain is stuck to the sides of my skull and if I could just crack my skull open and loosen it up in there and give it a good cleaning so it’s not sticky anymore I could go about my life again.

#I have migraines and chronic other headaches that aren’t really fully migraines but idk what they are #when I got my glasses my headaches improved a lot so maybe it’s tension #but life started getting really stressful over the summer and hasn’t let up since #so I’m back on that pain train and it’s #well it is the way that it is #if I have a headache for too long whether it’s tension or sinus or w/e #it’ll eventually become a migraine #so that’s cool #all roads lead to migraine