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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

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Holy crap. Look at Kate Herron's shirt. When the Loki director pops up on Zoom, she's donning the most glorious image anyone will see since we laid eyes on Alligator Loki: A Teletubby wearing the Loki horns. Are the Teletubbies Loki variants? Sure, why not!

"I got it on Instagram," Herron says. "There's an amazing comic book artist and he designed it. He made it into a T-shirt for me because I saw it and was like, 'That's incredible. Can I get it for the press junket?'"

Herron, no big deal, just pulled off an MCU miracle. Entering a mammoth franchise with, notably, some of Sex Education's best episodes under her belt, the director deftly brought a plot involving multiverses and Richard E. Grant in a cape and superhero mumbo-jumbo to brilliant, beautiful life. Following Loki's tear-jerking, mind-bending finale, the series has been dubbed by critics and fan's alike as one of Marvel's best efforts—which is no small feat. Of course, we needed to ask Herron how she stuck the landing. Following the most epic finale you, me, or any Teletubby can remember, Herron talked to Esquire about the Miss Minutes jump scare, filming the finale's introduction of He Who Remains, and why she won't return for Season Two of Loki.

ESQ: How are you doing?

KH: I'm good. I think I feel very relieved that I don't have to sit on the secret of He Who Remains anymore, It was a very big secret to hold, but for an important reason, right? Because it's such a good character to be launching. So yeah, I feel good.

ESQ: Loking back at your old interviews, you have such a good poker face when you're avoiding spoilers, but you're also incredible at giving aggregator crumbs.

KH: I play a lot of board games, so you need to be quite good at strategy and poker faces so people can't always read your hand. So I think weirdly board games have prepared me more for working with Marvel than anything else.

ESQ: I have to start with the Miss Minutes jump scare. What went into the decision to make her a memeable, creepy apparition in that moment?

KH: I love horror, and my executive, Kevin Wright, knew that. Me and him were talking about Episode Six and I remember that he was like, "Oh, maybe you could do something creepy of Miss Minutes." And I immediately was like, "We have to do a jump scare!" Because I haven't got to do a good jump scare in anything yet and I really wanted to, because a lot of my friends are horror directors. I was like, "I can't let them down." So I was really excited to have a shot at doing a jump scare. And Miss Minutes, it was really fun testing it because we'd kind of bring different people into the edit, me and Emma McCleave, the editor, and we'd just play it for them, watch them, and check that they were jumping when we cut it.

ESQ: One thing that I think is getting missed in all the craziness is that we see a peak moment of the love story between Loki and Sylvie. Where does the finale leave the companionship that they found in each other?

KH: When I started the show, that was always in the DNA of it—that Loki was going to meet a version of himself and they were going to fall in love. And that's honestly what drew me into the story, because I directed Sex Education. I love stories about self-love and finding your identity and your people. Loki is such a broken character when we join him, and seeing him go on this amazing journey with all this growth and finding the good points of himself in seeing her—I think that was very beautiful. It's also paying respect to the fact that Sylvie's in a very different place to him. She hasn't had the Mobius therapy session. She even says, in Episode Five, "I don't know how to do this. I don't have friends." You really feel for her because she has been on the run and her whole life has been this mission.

It's almost funny because these characters are thousands of years old, but it's almost teenage the way they both talk about their feelings for each other. I think everyone can relate to that, right? In any new relationship, there's always that kind of awkwardness and like, "Oh God, am I too keen? The important thing was the hope—like when Sylvie and him kiss, I think it is genuine and it is coming from a place of these feelings they have for each other. Obviously she does push them through that door, but for me it was a goodbye and it was with heart. But it's kind of a goodbye in the sense of like, I care about you, but I'm going to do my mission because that's where I'm at.

ESQ: I would pay for you to direct the Sex Education episode where Otis falls through a portal into the multiverse, into the main MCU.

KH: He really looks like a Loki as well, which is so funny. I always thought that. I was like Asa does look like a Loki. It didn't come to pass or anything, but it would be interesting to do a Sex Ed-Marvel crossover. I wonder who all the different characters would be within the MCU, but it would be quite funny.

ESQ: You're right, he could pull off a teenage Loki.

KH: Yeah, like a teen or a very young ’20s, maybe. But it was just funny because I was like, "Oh yeah, he looks a bit like Tom." I wonder how they could do it. I'm sure they'll find a way to do a crossover anyway.

ESQ: Can you just take me back to filming with Jonathan Majors? And you capturing him in such a compelling, quirky, scary way—I'm sure your direction was such a big part of that.

KH: I was just so excited because Jonathan is an actor that everyone was so excited about. He's like a chameleon in everything he does and he's so talented. I just feel as a director so lucky to have worked on this because I feel like I've got to work with some of the best actors out there. And when you're with Jonathan, you know you're in the presence of just someone really magnificent. For me as a director, it's giving him the space to play and feel safe. Because we filmed it all in a week, but it was a lot to film in a week. So I think it was really about creating a space where he could have fun and find this character because he's going to be playing him for a long time.

ESQ: What went into the decision to introduce us to the good guy first?

KH: I remember in the script, he comes up the elevator and it was so casual. I was like, "Oh man, that's so fun." And then Jonathan, when he plays it, he's relaxed. And I the thing he used to talk about a lot was that this is a character who's been on his own for a long time. Because at the beginning, we introduced him in a space in the universe that feels like this very busy, loud place, but actually, when we see the Citadel, he's surrounded by the Timeline and he's very isolated. Even in his costume with [designer] Christine Wada, for the idea of his outfit, he's a character who's existed for multiple millennia. So it's like, OK, let's pull from lots of different places so you can't necessarily pin down which time or which place he might be from. Also the fact that his clothes look comfy. They were like pajamas because he's living at home. He loved the idea of the office [being] the only finished part of the citadel and that the rest of the citadel was like this Sunset Boulevard kind of dusty, dilapidated space. And just again showed that he probably just keeps himself to his office. All those elements definitely fed into Jonathan's performance in terms of balancing the extrovert, but also the introvert of someone that would be living by themselves and only talking to a cartoon clock.

ESQ: It really is incredible how you pull a nail-biting finale with this battle of wits and dialogue.

KH: It was really exciting because I feel like Episode Five was a lot of fun because we got to play into all the joy of the different versions of Loki, but also just the fact that it was our big usual Marvel third act, right? Like it was where our big spectacle was as they were fighting this big monster. But I love that our finale bookends, right? We began with a conversation and we ended with one.

ESQ: I also loved that there was no end-credits scene—I think it makes the ending that much more impactful. Was there ever an end credit scene on the table, or any kind of a stinger?

KH: I think no, because weirdly, we never went after the kind of mid-credit sequences. I think we always just were thinking just of the story and where we knew we wanted it to end. For example, Episode Four, originally Loki was deleted and then we went straight to him waking up. And it was only in the edit I was like, “I think it'd be really cool actually. We should move that scene to mid-credits because then we'll really feel like Loki has died." Because if I watched that moment and then it went to the credits, I'd be like, "What?!" And then when we were talking about the best way to talk about Season Two, we were like, "Okay, well, let's do that like a little mid-credits at the end because that is exciting to confirm it in that way." I'd say we found both of those in the edit just because we wanted to kind of do it right and have a fun nod to something that Marvel does so well.

ESQ: Is there anything you can tell about the future of the story you've told here—or even where you personally would like to go with the studio or otherwise going forward?

KH: Yeah, so I'm just on for Season One. So I'm so proud of the story we told. I mean, it was amazing getting to set up the TVA and take Loki on this whole new journey. And I mean, I think we've left so much groundwork for his character, and as people see in the comics, there's so much more to be delved into. And I just am excited honestly to just see where all the characters go. Like, who is B-15? What did she see in those memories and where did Ravonna go and where is Loki? I think for me, we've set up these questions and I look forward to seeing them being answered as a fan in the next season.

ESQ: Absolutely. Well, can we please work on the Asa Butterfield Loki?

KH: I will call him and I'll be like, "You want to do some crazy Marvel crossover?"

#Kate Herron #loki #season 1 #director #interview

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crowdvscritic · 3 years

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round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

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6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports.

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

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7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver!

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.

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ryttu3k · 3 years

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Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

#vampire the masquerade #vtm shadows of new york #ry plays sony

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justasparkwritings · 3 years

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Merry & Bright: I Sincerely Tried

Previous: All the Love and Joy

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The stockings were no longer hung by the chimney with care, but tossed around the living room, contents splayed on the carpet. The twinkling lights were barely visible in the daylight, and Nat King Cole was on his second rendition of The Christmas Song. The pretty paper once containing the presents you had meticulously selected was disregarded, wadded up or folded to be recycled before dinner. The ribbons and bows sat in an empty box, to be reused next year. You sat on the floor, engrossed in playing with the new toys, laughing, tickling, smiling like this had been all you wanted for Christmas.

Seokjin sat on the couch, eyes transfixed by the sight in front of him. Sipping on his tea, he tried to smile through the surge of emotions he was feeling, the combination of sugar high and emotional distress. He promised you he wouldn’t do this; swore he would be strong until the kids were tucked in their beds for the night. He guaranteed he could keep it together. You knew he was lying, despite Instagram edits of his previous successful attempts at righting his emotions. But this? You knew when you found out you were pregnant the first time that Seokjin would be a blubbering mess for the rest of his life.

Glancing up at him, you notice the gloss in his eyes. An untrained eye wouldn’t be able to distinguish the glare from his spectacles from tears about to spill, but you knew better, you always did. Standing up from your place on the floor, you moved slowly towards the kitchen.

“Honey, can you help me clean up some of the breakfast mess?” You called, grabbing your children’s dirty plates and moving languidly towards the kitchen. Seokjin cleared his throat and followed, not stopping to make a dad joke about the Christmas mess his children had made.

Delicately placing the plates in the sink, you began to fill it with hot soapy water, leaving them to soak for a while. As the sink filled, you turned to your husband.

“This has to be the record,” You said, eyes forgiving as you took in the alligator tears sliding down his cheeks.

“I tried, I swear, I did,” He said, shaking his head.

“It’s okay, baby, you can cry,” You pushed yourself off the counter and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You do every year,”

“I wanted this one to be different! I don’t want them going ‘oh why is Appa crying? Is he okay?’ I’m a grown man, I should be able to control these tears!”

“Darling, it happens every year,” You smiled at him.

“I sincerely tried to hold it back, I was going to wait until they went to sleep,” Seokjin set his glasses on the counter, his hands grasping at his sleeves to try his tears.

“I know that was the goal, Seokjin, but you can’t control your emotions like that,” You reminded him.

“I’m ruining Christmas,” He said.

“It’s not your fault that Christmas makes you cry,”

“I just… They’re growing up so fast,”

“Oh honey, they’re three and five,”

“Yeah, old enough to remember that their father ruins Christmas every year because he’s crying over them,”

“Baby, you are crying for a totally valid reason, you know I cry on their birthdays,” You offered.

“You at least wait until they’re in bed!” Jin countered.

“No, I don’t, this year I cried during cake!” You jogged his memory.

“They thought you hated your cake,” He laughed, shoulders bouncing up and down.

“It was so funny, they didn’t believe me when I said it was my favorite!”

“It wasn’t your favorite,” He couldn’t stop laughing.

“I don’t need to spoil their dreams, I can pretend it’s my favorite until they get older,” You said, your own laughs settling.

“And then you have to tell them you’ve been lying their entire lives?” His eyes were wide.

“You’re the one that says the Little Mermaid is your favorite!” You argued.

“Low blow,” He said, feigning offense.

“But daddy, I love him!” You whined.

“How dare you,” He was trying to blue steel you, but it wasn’t working.

“I love that you cry on Christmas,” You said, moving back to stand within his grasp, a hand moving to cup his face, thumb tracing shapes on his fair skin.

“You remember our first Christmas as a couple?” Seokjin asked, resting his cheek in your palm.

“I try to forget it,” Your scrunched nose went perfectly with the horrors of that first year together.

“When I was twelve hours ahead, and couldn’t get a hold of you for two days?” Jin reminisced.

“My heart was shattered, I thought you didn’t love me anymore,” You added.

“But my phone was broken, and my texts from my computer weren’t getting to you,” He continued.

“None of the guys were around because they’d gone to see their families, and your brother was in and out with the restaurant,” Your prolonged list of sorrows kept getting worse.

“It was hell, no one to kiss under the mistletoe,” Seokjin said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Do you remember our first married Christmas?” You inquired.

“Mmm, I missed my flight, and I didn’t arrive to your aunts house until the 26th,” Jin closed his eyes at the blunder.

“I cried then too,” You said.

“We cried together, remember?” He probed.

“Oh my god, we just sobbed on Facetime,” You rested your forehead against his chest, shaking it slowly.

“Everyone kept saying merry Christmas and happy holidays,” Seokjin said.

“We were trying so hard,” You laughed.

“But we were so miserable,” He joined you in mocking the memory.

“And now, look at us,” You were still smiling, eyes bright as you watched him.

“Two kids, a house, a marriage,” Seokjin said, tightening his grip on you.

“Mm,”

“Mama?” Your eldest yelled from the living room. “I’m hungry.”

“Well, who is in charge of snacks?”

“Appa,” They said.

“Hm, who do you need to ask?” You said, glancing past them to eye your three-year-old.

“Appa, can we have a snack please?” They asked, arms reaching up for Seokjin to lift them.

“I think a snack is a good idea, what should we have?” He wondered.

“Whatever makes you stop being sad,” Your eldest responded.

“Oh, honey, Appa isn’t sad,” Seokjin said, placing a kiss to your eldest’s forehead.

“Then why were you crying?” They questioned.

“I was just so happy, watching you two play with mama,” He said.

“Oh, happy tears, like mama on my birthday?” They asked, eyes wide, pouty lips parted.

“Just like that,” Seokjin held your child close, a faint smile on his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you!” Your child giggled before placing a kiss on Jin’s cheek and wiggling out of his arms. “Mama, Appa loves me!”

“I love you too honey,” You replied, your youngest resting on your hip, thumb in their mouth.

“Oppa’s making a cha-cha- something board with cheese,” They said sitting on their stool at the counter.

“Oo, yum,” You said, smiling warmly at your little family.

Seokjin moved around the kitchen, gathering fruits and veggies to make the little charcuterie board for your children, setting string cheese and a simpler cracker on the board. He skillfully cut salami and more elegant cheese for the ‘adult’ board he was making for you and him, complete with a flute of prosecco for each of you. He smiled while listening to you and your children chatting, your youngest trying to keep pace with your eldest. His heart swelled at the banter, and in a moment of emotional reprieve, Seokjin was glad that Christmas always made him cry.

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towerofgodscreamblogwink · 3 years

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reading 329-337 but wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

so we’re slowly finishing s2, and so we have: khun being still dead and pretty, karaka getting daddy issues this time from jinsung, witch from touhou, jinsung dies (not) but sure is unable to get upper hand, evan wins everything, siu continues ok boomer agenda, and we have now an airship worshipping evan and his team apperantly because i can’t read

insert that “i came here to ask questions and kick ass, and im out of questions” edit

wouldn’t you like to know wheather boy

everyone wants khun... well fair enough *gives khun* just remember to feed it often and bring him bam, they’re a set

he admitted he’s an alligator

it all comes to a FULL CIRCLE

me most of the time when someone is talking to me

i love her

god he looks wonderful with horns

oop two slayers’ here

i fucking can’t

i’m crying

evan is mvp

this is slighty gay

w h a t

oh fUCK yOU

stop making me cry already??

like if all that shit wasn’t enough we get “i would die than never see rak and khun again” like c a n y o u

this is consistent character writing

oh fuck me

wait why is *karaka* helping him actually

i know white made a promise to hwaryun but i don’t remember if they shown karaka’s reasons

it’s the second time he stabs himself (harms himself) in order to get power/be able to win/stand a chance

oh i don’t like this pattern

also i might posting this one separately as well

important, bam says bullshit

👁👄👁

looking respectively

also no im still cryin

bro

wait the red horn is bigger

KARAKA SAVES THE DAY

that guy: and i oop

awwwww fucK you

you’re dead boy

siu just saved himself from my massive ass beating by not having the fucking audicity to fucking draw casually napping khun while everybody is having a breakdown

bro

me when i remember that one awkward situation from few years ago

oh god no the memories

i didn’t know why it fucking made me laugh so hard but now i realize it’s because this manhwa literally just went “um chile anyways so”

👁👄👁

👁👄👁❗❗

I’VE FUCKING READ “AIRSHIP TO WORSHIP EVAN AND HIS TEAM”

also I NEED to mention this

so basically siu pushes his ok boomer agenda and i support this

#tog #tower of god #the fuck what #i don't fucking remember who was in it #ok bam for sure #evankhell #eeeee...#...#jinsung #.#endorsi #isu #karaka #i had to go back #nesreads #nes reads

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ashesarrows · 3 years

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The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two by Catherynne M. Valente- FULL REVIEW

This review is the complete version of its counterpart on GoodReads.

This book really disappointed me. The roughest thing is that it’s right in the middle of the series, so you have to read it if you want to continue. There are bright spots (Ell! Saturday!), and I can sense the incredible book Valente was trying to write, but overall, this was a flop. Would’ve been a DNF if I hadn’t promised myself I’d finish the series.

So, firstly: I’m a longtime fan of Fairyland, and I commonly list the first book and Valente herself as my favorite book and author. I had no negative preconceptions about the book going in. In fact, I know I have an irrational fear of series, and at first I thought my struggles with this book could be chalked up to that.

But I loved the second book. It was entertaining, a good follow-up, and a unique new story to explore. When I picked up the third book and only got a chapter in before forgetting about it, I had a lot of excuses—I was burned out. I didn’t like the Blue Wind, and I didn’t want to read about her. I was busy with school.

As it turns out, having picked the book up three years later and finished it this time, none of that was true. This time, I was yearning for more of Fairyland, I quite liked the Blue Wind, and I had ample time to read in.

It just wasn’t a good book.

I talk about planning/pantsing a lot, and that’s once again relevant. I’ll excerpt from my review of another book:

There are two types of NaNoWriMo writers: the planners, & the pantsers. Planners have an outline ready before they write, and pantsers go "by the seat of their pants"—very few, or even no, plans. Both have pros/cons; here I'll focus on a common pitfall for pantsers.

Almost every Western narrative… follows something akin to the 3-act structure. There is a main conflict which builds to a climax and is then resolved (think Star Wars’s Death Star.) For any good narrative, you need MOTIVATION-GOAL-CONFLICT—and occasionally stakes[.]

This book does not have a conflict.

So where do you find 300+ pages of writing? Just have something happen & see what comes next as a response!

The problem is that this makes an unworkable first draft. Things Happening =/= Satisfying Plot Arc. In editing, you have to take everything you've written and organize it into a plot shape, often cutting things that don't fit. (Planning is the opposite; tons of work upfront/you usually end up UNDERwriting.)

...The most common method of writing on Wattpad is pantsing. 99% of the time, writers write & then post chapters on a set schedule. Can't edit plot structure when you upload one chapter a week.

Now, I knew that Valente was a pantser before I read this book, and that she originally uploaded Fairyland one chapter a week. I was very impressed when I first found out; I don’t recall sensing any of these pitfalls in the two previous books. It is hard to write a book with no editing—it is damn well near impossible. Whether I liked this book or not, the first two are a triumph just for that. Valente has been writing this entire series with both hands tied behind her back and her eyes taped shut, and I have to commend her. Even my feelings of frustration are almost overshadowed by how impressed I am that it took three books for her to fail.

Valente herself acknowledged editing concerns in multiple / interviews. From the latter link:

I remember being at a convention right after it really hit, and somebody in the audience asked, “Well, you realize you can’t go back and change anything, because you’ve already posted it online.” And I said, “Oh, shit.” It had never occurred to me that that was gonna be a problem. I kept a couple weeks ahead of the posting schedule, but again, much like writing The Labyrinth in ten days instead of thirty, I just ran ahead with something without knowing that I couldn’t do it and it worked out incredibly well.

Did it? I feel differently, and this review aims to explain why.

This book lacks plot. Valente is attempting a 3-act structure, which relies heavily on a central conflict. There has to be some big mission; some big goal. First book example: September has to beat the Marquess (goal and conflict) OR ELSE everyone in Fairyland suffers (stakes/motivation). Every moment of the book ties back to this larger goal.

The central conflict of this book appears about halfway through. You know the moon, and the yeti, and splitting things? This comes up over a hundred pages in. September, and the audience, has no idea about any of that for a hundred or so pages, and so for that amount of time, the book is unconscionably boring.

The beginning of the book sees September afraid she’s too old to go back to Fairyland, which is a great central conflict idea for the one chapter in which it exists. Aha! A book about growing up and the associated trials and tribulations. That’s a fantastic theme, and yet I forgot about it entirely until the end, where it briefly awakens again, after an entire book of Not That At All. More on this later.

For now, the book takes September back to Fairyland, which should be wonderful, but Fairyland seems to have become all exposition and no action. A whole chapter of The Blue Wind lecturing September, for example. This is a character we don’t know, have no reason to be attached to, and are being actively hindered by as she relentlessly slows the plot down. And then September gets talked at by an alligator or something, and then another something something… I don’t remember any of this, because it was not relevant.

This isn’t like Fairyland #1, where September might need to befriend someone to gain access to magic which would help her on her quest. In fact, for this first half of the book, September doesn’t even have agency! Someone hands her a MacGuffin (I refuse to recall its name) in the form of a box, and she Must carry it to some city or other on the moon. Why? Who knows. She just must. And she does. And you’re thinking to yourself, why isn’t September making her own ship and leading revels? We know, as an audience, that she’s more than capable. What on Earth has got her seeming so meek? She even sasses characters, but somehow always ends up doing as they ask.

The book also takes all this time to reach any characters we know and love. The readers want Ell and Saturday! We do not care about a horde of lecturing adults with no connection to a central plot or September! Looking back, I can see how Valente may have been hoping to pull off something similar to Alice in Wonderland, but in Alice nobody speaks for a full page. This is just one example:

direct link

I’m hard pressed to even call this exposition, because it tells us nothing about the world we’re in. It’s just a sermon Valente wants us to hear. And worse, because I’ve read the last two books, I know she can pull this off. It doesn’t have to be this way. Many people said many things in Fairyland #1, and it worked because there was a plot that the speeches were part of.

(If you just look at the quotes page for this book, you can see how many there are—and how repetitive they get. X is a Y, okay, alright…)

But this sort of thing reached its peak when it almost ruined Saturday. Don’t worry, he’s generally well-written, but when September meets him and he starts lecturing? It’s just awful to read. Suddenly it’s not Saturday talking but Valente speaking through his mouth, giving those sermons again, and it just makes you want to scream.

This made me recall an old writing rule—“never remind me of the author’s existence.” I want to feel as though real people are really saying these things, and when all of them speak identically, it’s really difficult to believe that. I won’t deny Saturday his right to say poignant things, obviously, but in this case due to the volume of lectures, and the proximity of his to the others, and the obvious preachiness of all of them, it really got in the way of my even enjoying the scenes with Saturday. And come on; that is unforgivable.

But there is a plot. There is an, ahem… other MacGuffin. A paw? A yeti’s paw. Something about time. Look, at this point I just wanted to finish the book. The original MacGuffin had become a new one, which would lead them to the third, and all this because at 100 pages in someone said “hey there’s this yeti we really hate around here,” and September went “sounds awful I’ll go hunt him right now.” And of course she can, because she has been DOING NOTHING FOR THE LAST HUNDRED PAGES. What is she going to do, something else? There IS nothing else to do in Fairyland apparently. Again, what this book does to the world & inhabitants of Fairyland is near criminal.

So the plot starts here, and it’s not great—September takes it up because there’s nothing else to do, and of course her friends come along, but (at least to me) it seems obvious that Valente invented the moon’s political situation and the Yeti just to come up with SOMETHING for this book. It never felt convincing that this had really been happening behind the scenes in the other books. On top of that, since we get very little context (despite the lectures!), it feels less like a vital quest and more like September (again) doing something because someone else told her to. We really don’t get any other perspective on the issue until the very end.

But talking about the end will require a spoiler tag, so I’ll avoid it for now. Let’s take a break to talk about how confusing the book was overall. I often didn’t know where the characters were heading or why, or what role a new character played, or even if they were there or not.

After seeing a GR query about this particular issue, I went back and researched it. The character Candlestick allegedly leaves the party on page 189:

Candlestick had not come with them after all, turning up her peacock tail and refusing to speak further with any of the lot of them.

But then shows up in not one but two lines in the next chapter anyway:

The Tyguerrotype, the thirteen bouncing Glasshobs, the quivering houses—and September and Saturday, A-Through-L and Candlestick—had a little thickness, but no more than a thick sheet of paper. (201)

“Did we see what?” called Candlestick. (204)

I understand why Valente wouldn’t want to make major plot edits to the books after posting them, but why didn’t an editor read through this even once? It would have been easy to fix—delete one line, or even just a word. It seems clear through surrounding context, looking back, that Valente intended to leave Candlestick out of these chapters, so why didn’t anyone confirm that for readers?

It’s just not fair to your audience to leave things like this in. It’s not professional. It makes me look down on the publisher, to be quite honest, because they apparently couldn’t take the few months necessary to re-read the draft and offer Valente edits on these bare minimum issues.

So you can understand why I wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time. Especially in the beginning, when multiple characters existed just to lecture, it was hard to get attached to any one addition to the party because I could expect them to be gone without incident or importance within two chapters.

For example, the Periwig (whose name I refuse to look up) who works with Ell in the library says she has cursed him to stop him from flaming around the books. Yes, Ell is having uncontrollable flaming issues now. As a reader pummeled by random lectures, watching September ferry around MacGuffins, this just felt like an “oh shit we have to come up with a NEW conflict for these characters” ploy, without much thought or logic. And I had no idea what the curse was for over fifty pages, until on page 173 there’s a specific reference to Ell getting smaller after he shoots flame. I’m sure there were more earlier on, but I missed them, and who can blame me after a hundred pages of content that was not relevant to the story.

This plot point is never satisfyingly wrapped up, either. Why did the Periwig think this was a good idea? Could she have undone it? Why did nobody address her about it? And why was it solved the way it was? Nothing made sense.

What’s really frustrating is what could have been. Near the end of the book, I turned to the back cover just to avoid continuing to read, and I looked once again in total bafflement at the two starred reviews of the book pictured there. Booklist’s back cover quote reads as follows:

As usual, Valente enlightens readers with pearly gleams of wisdom about honesty, identity, free will, and growing up. September often worries who she should be and what path she should follow, but the lovely truth, tenderly told, is that it's all up to her.

And, despite having read roughly two hundred pages of this book, it was only once I saw this quote that I understood what Valente was trying to do.

This is a great idea. And there are ELEMENTS of it here, and even elements I quite like. Occasionally, the lectures September hears do in fact correspond to some aspect of this theme (“you become what you are called” is one example of a line I could tell meant something, but needed to be expanded to accomplish anything.) It’s hard, as a reader, to differentiate between lectures addressing a vital theme in the story and lectures that are just talking.

Returning to Ell’s curse, it turns out that [SPOILER] Ell was just flaming for what is essentially dragon puberty, which is a GREAT opportunity to build on this theme! Somehow, though, we don’t get that.. I would have loved to see Ell have to deal with, essentially, a sexual awakening, and that did not happen, and it feels like the cure scene is random and therefore wasted. [END SPOILER]

It doesn’t help that Valente also wastes a scene with FANTASTIC potential where September literally destroys her fate by giving it no prior context, no weight in the plot, no relevance to the conflict, and fifteen tons worth of expositional lecturing to drown in. I want to love these scenes; some of these scenes utilize my favorite tropes! I just can’t get around all the ways Valente is leaving her story out to dry.

Then there’s the clothing September wears, her new designation, Aroostook the car, the attempted blossoming romance between September and Saturday: so many elements which could have made that theme great. It’s like a broken puzzle.

This brings us to the Yeti. I’m just going to go full spoiler, because I’m mad.

[SPOILER]

The Yeti is a reverse twist villain?? Can we stop with this? It’s not interesting & not an engaging surprise & also feels like going “ha ha I fooled you.”

From the moment September set off to beat him, I was wondering—are we really doing this? Based on one random person’s complaint? September has made it very clear that she doesn’t understand the politics of the world she’s inhabiting, and yet: this. Unlike in the first book, where the Marquess’s evil is confirmed by every person she comes across and September ends up fighting her out of personal connection, this just seems like meddling. September has no skin in the game; it’s almost a white savior trope—especially when the history of the Moon parallels colonization!

And then The Gang sees future-Saturday helping the yeti, and instead of thinking “maybe we got this wrong based on one person’s lecture” they think “ah FUCK maybe Saturday is going to be evil” and manufacture totally unnecessary conflict.

But it’s not even that they misunderstood, or that their source was biased; the end result is that the Yeti was seen as evil because he DIDN’T CARE THAT HE WAS. He gives this “none of their business” answer that is fundamentally unsatisfying (and makes no sense—had he explained, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BOTHERED HIM) because at the end of the day, it means none of September’s actions in Fairyland were necessary. She just showed up and left. Nobody, not even the story, needed her. I guess September and Saturday have now kissed (twice!) which is great for them but not something that makes the whole book worthwhile.

[END SPOILER]

And on top of this, there are typos. I already covered the issue with Candlestick, so here are the others quickly:

“All of us,” September said gently, and held out her hands. “I know what you said, Miss Candlestick, but however you count it, our fates are stuck together and stitched up good.” She paused for a moment, looking down at her flowing black silks and her own small hands. “Closer than shadows, she finished.” (170)

“If you’re not to tired after your cannonades.” (179)

The full moon rose passed the high barn windows, spilling in like milk. (248)

(First sentence ought to have put the end quotation mark after the word “shadows,” but accidentally places it after September’s dialogue tag. The second sentence should use “too” instead of “to”. The final sentence needs to either say that the moon “rose past the high barn windows” or “passed the high barn windows”, likely the former.)

What gets me is that this last sentence is on the last page. Even if Valente and her editors never flipped through most of the book, surely someone would’ve noticed this? It just drives home how little anyone cared. About Fairyland, of all things!

And then Valente, who DID NOT EDIT THIS BOOK, has the audacity to include lines like these.

September reached inside and took out the red book. It was heavy. A girl’s face graced the cover, finely embossed, but it was turned away, gazing at some unseen thing. Perhaps it was her own face, perhaps not. A miniature version of herself, after all. Was it an answer? Was it everything already written? “You can’t argue with something that’s written down,” she said, stroking the red locks of hair on the cover. “If the heart of my fate is a book, there’s nothing for it. Once it’s written, it’s done. All those ancient books always say ‘so it is written’ and that means it’s finished and tidied and you can’t say a thing against it.” Oh, but September, it isn’t so. I ought to know, better than anyone. I have been objective and even-tempered until now, but I cannot let that stand, I simply cannot. Listen, my girl. Just this once I will whisper from far off, like a sigh, like a wind, like a little breeze. So it is written—but so, too, it is crossed out. You can write over it again. You can make notes in the margins. You can cut out the whole page. You can, and you must, edit and rewrite and reshape and pull out the wrong parts like bones and find just the thing and you can forever, forever, write more and more and more, thicker and longer and clearer. Living is a paragraph, constantly rewritten. It is Grown-Up Magic. Children are heartless; their parents hold them still, squirming and shouting, until a heart can get going in their little lawless wilderness. Teenagers crash their hearts into every hard and thrilling thing to see what will give and what will hold. And Grown-Ups, when they are very good, when they are very lucky, and very brave, and their wishes are sharp as scissors, when they are in the fullness of their strength, use their hearts to start their story over again.

(page 184).

Like... all of that, and then she didn’t edit September’s story? I’m appalled.

At this point, you might well say I’m being far too harsh. I understand that. These next five paragraphs are for you.

For the first few months of (re)reading this book, I genuinely felt like I must be a bad reader, or my attention span was gone, or I just didn’t like Valente or her work enough. Looking at all the incredible reviews here, I felt jealous—and frustrated. Why couldn’t I just enjoy this book the way everyone else did?

Obviously, I never want to dislike a book, but this was one that I almost feel betrayed me. I know there’s a significant amount of entitlement there; Valente doesn’t owe me any stories, let alone good ones.

At the same time, I made every effort. I owned all the books, was working hard to read a series despite my long-time struggles with them, and, well, I LOVE Valente! I constantly talk about her work! And even someone like me—someone who’s usually a pretty fast reader, loves the series/author in question, and was determined to finish this book—struggled throughout.

So I’m frustrated that the book made me feel like an idiot. I’m frustrated that, for the apparent crime of being devoted to Valente’s work, I was put through this. This book would be one star if not for the world of Fairyland and the returning cast—if this had not been a Fairyland book, I would not have finished reading it. For that first half, I was bribing myself (with better books) to read one or two pages at a time. Really.

Like I said, it didn’t have to be this way. I know damn well that Valente can do better than this. If Valente had been given the opportunity to edit this draft into a polished book, she could have done it. It’s only because of these restraints that she chose—and she is a grown woman who may choose what she likes—that the book came out this way. It’s genuinely hard to review, because I understand why she wrote the book this way, and I understand why she did not later edit the majority of the text, and I also have the perspective of a disappointed reader. It’s hard to balance all of that.

So two stars it is. I’m a little sad it took so long to review this book, because I was REALLY pumped to review it when I first finished, but I hope that on the contrary letting it sit has allowed me to be more objective and less emotionally upset by it.

I hope to pick up the fourth book soon, but with the combination of it being unrelated to the main cast and the letdown that this book was, it’ll be a while before I feel up to it. Don’t worry, though, because I will come back to update you as to whether the series overall is worth continuing. I have every hope that it will be.

#full review #goodreads #The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two

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lu-undy · 4 years

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Chapter 24 - SBT

Here it is!

"So, you're takin' me to the bloke you know?" The naked guard on the seat covered his dignity with his hands but Mundy had of course the decency to keep his eyes on the road.

"Not just yet. We need to bring those 'gators back home and get rid of this truck. Otherwise, they'll find us."

"Ah, right… Any chance they have some clothes where the alligators go?" The poor man asked.

"Will ask." Mundy answered.

"Thanks."

The truck roared through the desert.

"Hm, we need to get out of the roads. Look in the glovebox, is there a map?"

The man did as he was told.

"Yep, there is…"

"Spread it on your lap." Mundy said. "Cover yerself with it. I'll switch on the light inside to read it. It's the middle of the night now and we'd better drive as stealthily as we can with this beast of a truck."

"Alright, it's all set."

Mundy flipped a switch and slowed down.

"We're here… Where's the reserve from here…? Oh, I see, we need to cut like this." Mundy turned the steering wheel and the heavy truck took its time to entirely run out of the asphalt.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Taking a shortcut. If we stay on the road, we'll meet with Duchemin's reinforcements and all this goes to the bin."

"Alright…!" The poor naked man held onto the truck door as Mundy let his foot dive more on the gas pedal.

"The asphalt's good for the tyres but honestly, the desert is flat and hard. I drive through it a lot. I know what I'm doing."

"Right, good to know."

Mundy continued to drive, casting a glance at the map from time to time.

"By the way, name's Eric, you?"

Mundy chuckled.

"So all it takes is to get your arse naked, eh? I'm M."

Eric laughed.

"Well, what can I say…? We had to get to know each other quite well and fast, didn't we?"

"Yeah, guess you're right." Mundy answered.

"M, uh… If you know how dangerous Duchemin is, why go after him? You and your mate will die."

"He isn't my mate. I don't know him."

"Ha, funny, he said the same thing."

Mundy looked at the man next to him.

"D'you have any idea who he is?" He asked Eric.

"Not more than you. The bloke knows how to torture people, I can tell you that much. I can also tell you that he'll end up like you if both of you don't stop this nonsense. You can't go after Duchemin, no one can, not even the police!"

"They can't cause they need reasons and papers."

"You don't?" Eric asked.

"I don't need papers."

"So you have reasons? Ah, I guess the animals."

"They're not the main thing. But yeah. Ah, look, that's it, Johnson's place."

"Yeah, I recognise this area. That's where we took the alligators from." Eric said.

Mundy parked the truck as best as he could.

"Right, you stay here. I'll go wake him up and I'll ask for something to put on for you."

"Okay." Eric answered.

Mundy hopped off the truck and went to the big black wrought-iron gate. He ran the bell again and again until the butler with his pyjamas and dressing gown opened the house's front door. He shouted from there.

"Who is it and what is it? I will call the police if you don't stop on the spot!"

"Calm down, Johnny, wasn't it? It's me, M. I have Johnson's alligators. You guys need to get them out of the truck now!"

"What?! Now?!"

"Unless you want the house to be a sieve with bullet holes, yeah, right now!"

"Alright, alright, I'll wake Mister Johnson up."

"And Johnny?"

"Yes?"

"Get me a shirt and a pair of trousers."

"What?" The butler, who was half asleep, frowned.

"Chop, chop!" Mundy clapped his hands and it was enough to pull Johnny out of Morpheus's arms.

A few minutes later, Johnson was out in a dressing gown too. He had phoned the people who work at his reserve and they were on their way.

"Goddamn it, M, couldn't you wait for the mornin'?" He asked.

"D'you sleep with your cigar?" Mundy asked back, seeing how the old man chewed on it.

Johnson growled for an answer.

"Here are the clothes you asked for." Johnny joined them in front of the truck with a pile of folded clothes. Mundy took them and knocked on the truck door, on the passenger's side. The window rolled down and Johnson and his butler saw a naked arm sink down and grab the clothes that Mundy held.

"What the…" Johnson's cigar fell from his lips.

"He helped." Mundy simply said and the first few zookeepers arrived.

While they got busy with the alligators, Mundy explained roughly the situation.

“I need to give you your alligators but I suspect some of them aren't yours."

"What d'you mean?" Johnson asked.

"There are more than the number of alligators you have."

As soon as Mundy finished his sentence, one of Johnson's zookeepers came to them.

"We've found half a dozen alligators more than what we expected, and they're a different species. We put them in a different enclosure."

"I might know who they belong to." Mundy said. "You're sure they're alligators? Are they not crocodiles?"

"You're right they're actually crocs. Who owns them?"

"The West reserve, the reptile one. I mean, it used to be only reptiles, now they're much bigger." Mundy answered, thinking about Matt's missing crocs. "Can you keep them until tomorrow? I'll contact them and they'll take them back."

The zookeeper looked at Johnson.

"Yeah, we'll keep them. But not for long, eh?" The old man said.

"They should be gone quickly, don't worry." Mundy reassured him.

"Also, we're done, the truck is empty."

"Great. Now, debt's erased." Mundy said.

"Debt's goddamn erased." Johnson extended his hand for Mundy to shake it.

"You have a phone I can use, Johnson?" Mundy asked.

The old man gestured Johnny who showed Mundy inside. He grabbed the phone at the entrance and dialed the number he still knew by heart.

"C'mon… C'mon… Ugh… Eddy? Eddy, yeah, I'll need a few things. Yeah, it can't wait, listen here…"

-- Next morning --

Mundy woke up later than usual. Well, he had found his bed as the first rays of light of the day emerged from the East.

"Good Lord…"

He opened his van's backdoor, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and sighed in relief when he realised that yes, he had had the courage to drive to the lake.

After a quick bath to wash him from his previous adventure, Mundy was back at the diner for his breakfast.

"Hey there! How can I help?"

It was the same waitress.

"Some coffee and uh… What salads do you have here?"

"We got one with just veggies, one with chicken - basically a Ceasar salad - and we have one with seafood."

"Can I get the Ceasar, please?"

"Sure. I'll be a minute."

Mundy looked through the window. He put his hands in his pockets when he felt something there.

"What's that…? Ah, yeah…"

It was a paper he had left on his dashboard.

"Ah."

It wasn't any odd advert, nah. He remembered it now. The waiter at the Queen Victoria had given it to him. The coupon for the next show from that French singer.

"Hm."

He should have thrown it away. He wouldn't go anyway. Nah. Putting up the awfully tight black suit, tying his hair again, all that jazz just to listen to that bloke? Nah…

"Here we are, coffee and Caesar salad!"

"Ah, thanks."

"Enjoy!"

Mundy nodded and took a good gulp of his coffee. Yes it was past lunchtime now, but he couldn't possibly start a day without some good old black caffeine. He started digging in his salad.

The dinner at the Queen Victoria wasn't that bad. Well, it wasn't a dinner per se, but rather a dessert, and God, whatever that fancy chocolate thing was, it was awfully good…! Not only that, but the atmosphere, the voice of that bloke… He had felt something. Mundy had felt something.

And it wasn't distress, despair or solitude. It was something hot, something that sparked and tickled his insides. He had… liked it? The song had touched him, it had moved him, it had moved his insides, his feelings, the air he breathed had a different scent.

Damn music and her charms.

Mundy had thought that he had started his journey, healing from the loss of his parents. Accepting that job from Johnson and then later on discovering the identity of the man who had his parents killed… The punch he felt in his gut when he learnt that the man who did that ten years ago was just there, next door…! That had kicked the last bit of life in him. And if it was the last thing he did, so be it. He would find that man and end him. He would end him not like a man, but like some garbage. Mundy himself would set aside his empathy and humanity and become no more than death itself. There is no reason why that man should receive mercy when he had given none to Mundy's parents and no doubt, countless others too.

The Aussie sighed. With his thoughts rolling in his head, he had lost track of where that whole internal monologue had started… Ah! Yes! The ad for that concert. The coupon gave him half price on any dessert of his choice. In truth, he couldn't care less about the food. The last time he had eaten anything that had some taste, was that last dinner with his parents. Mac'n'cheese. It was as simple as that. Pasta, cream and cheese. Only his mother knew how to make it right. On all other occasions he had to eat it, it was always bland and tasteless.

He frowned and as he looked down at his plate, Mundy found it empty. Hm.

The last time he had eaten something that could compare to food, was in truth at the Queen Victoria, that chocolate cake, ten years after his mother's mac'n'cheese. He could do with a dessert right now. He wanted something sweet.

Mundy stood up from his seat and went to the counter. He was about to pay what he owed but then looked at the young girl in front of him. Her badge read Victoria. Ha, everything leads to the word "Victoria" now, huh?

"Can I, uh, can I get a muffin please, to take away?" He asked.

"Sure! Which one?"

"Chocolate, please."

"Here we go!" She put one in a brown paper bag and handed it to him. "Have a nice day!"

"Yeah, to you too."

He spun on his heels and left the diner to go straight to his van.

"Man found burnt in the old hangar! Who wants the latest edition! Ladies and gents! C'mon! Man found burnt in an old hangar! Police's puzzled once again!" The man who simply tried to sell his newspapers shouted loudly on the pavement as Mundy passed him. The Aussie winced at the sudden burst of noise in his ears.

He hopped on his van in the parking lot and started to drive on his way to Matt's reserve.

As he let the van drive him, he thought back about the events of the previous day. That mysterious French bloke was something. What was he actually? The man could shoot a gun without any problems, he could take a few blows too. And he wasn't afraid to torture Eric, that poor guard. Whatever that man was, he was dangerous, Mundy concluded in his head. But not that dangerous. After all, he had been caught by those mercenaries that Duchemin employed…

When Mundy emerged from his daydream, the van stopped, and he found himself in front of the reserve. He hopped off the van and went to the secretary.

"Hey there, could you call Matt for me, please?" He asked the blond lady.

"Sure, your name?"

"M."

"Alright." She took a walkie-talkie. "Matt, there's a gentleman for you here, his name is M."

There was a second of silence before the walkie-talkie answered.

"Comin' right now."

The blond secretary put the device down and looked up at Mundy.

"You may take a seat, he shouldn't be too long."

"Thanks."

And Mundy took the same seat he had been on a few weeks before now, waiting for his friend. He thought about Matt for a second when he remembered Phil. Ha! He should tell him that he found the alligators and he could stop being on the alert for them.

"M?"

The door had opened and the young man burst in, dressed in khakis.

"Hey, there."

"How're you doin'?" Matt asked.

"Good. Uh, I've got some news for you, can we sit somewhere?" Mundy asked.

"Sure, follow me."

Matt led the way to a break room.

"Take a seat, want anything to drink?"

Mundy sat on one of the sofas.

"Just water, please. I've just had a coffee."

"Alright." Matt went to the water machine. "So, what's up?"

"I might have found your crocodiles, by accident."

"What?!" Matt came with two glasses in his hand and gave one to Mundy before taking a seat next to him.

"I have about half a dozen, they're crocodiles alright. I just don't know if they're yours." Mundy said.

"Mate, that's fantastic! Where are they? Where did you find them? Can I see them?" Matt's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm.

"Oh, wow hold on, uh… Where they are is at Johnson's. I found his 'gators mixed with crocs so I just delivered everythin' there. Where I found them, you don't really need to know that, and if you can see them? O'course, just go there and I hope those are yours, otherwise I have half a dozen crocs in my hands and I don't have the space in my van, heh."

"Man, that's amazing! It's like when I was a kid! You disappear and poof! When you reappear, you've got the beasts!"

Mundy drank his water.

"Don't get over-excited, mate. They might not be yours."

"I'm almost sure they are. See, every other day I phone the other reserves and no one received any crocs since they disappeared. If anything, animals got stolen more and more as of late, and it's the expensive ones too! It tends to be endangered species, those with priceless fur and the likes…"

"I know. I'm workin' on it." Mundy answered.

Matt smiled.

"It's so good to have you back, M, really."

The Aussie softened and let his lips purse in a smile.

"Yeah, feels good to be back too." He admitted. "Oh, by the way, has anybody else come here and asked about my alligators?"

"No, no one, why?"

"Oh, doesn't matter." Mundy stood up. "Right, I got some animals to find. Thanks for the water. Call Eddy at the hunting shop and let him know for the crocs, ok?"

"Will do!" Matt answered and accompanied his guest back to his van. "Thanks again, mate, really. Those crocs were a family, mom, dad and a few kids who have grown up now. Really glad to have them back."

Mundy had hopped in his van.

"Glad I could help. Good luck with your work, mate."

"Thanks, M, see ya!" Matt waved at the van that grew smaller and smaller as it went away.

Mundy now needed to think. Eric had told him that the rest of the beasts were in the old sugar factory in the North part of town. He needed to check that, ah, and he needed to know what species there were and how many… Maybe one truck would be too much, or not enough.

Speaking of the truck, Mundy hoped that Eddy had dealt with it. He had insisted long enough on the phone with him.

"Burn it, blow it up, do whatever you want with it, no one needs to find it." He had said to a half asleep version of Eddy who still managed to be as talkative somehow, only slower…

But how could Mundy go there without too much trouble. Maybe he didn't need to go to the sugar factory, maybe he could just ask.

The van turned to the dirty neighbourhood. Maurice might know a few things. Also, if he was to talk with him, maybe he could ask about that French bloke…?

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy #SBT

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1358456 · 6 years

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Gold Version Joy Run

Something that I wanted to do. Just like Yellow version, I will not restrict myself whatsoever. Which means... bring on the shenanigans.

Also, very important for me! This is the VERY FIRST TIME I actually do a full Gold version run with all the glitches at my disposal! So this is a new experience!

Let’s dance.

Right off the bat, a little f*ckery. Hey there, Silver boy. My croc is bigger than yours. ... What? Temporarily named as “Leviathan” since... well, let’s just say that the early Korean version of a certain scripture translated “Leviathan” as an alligator/crocodile. ... Gators don’t breathe flames from the mouth.

Critical Pokemon captured! Huhuhahahaha! Oh, Hoppip gets THREE moves at level 5, and one of them is Splash?! Ohohoho!

Once again, Silver boy, my croc is bigger than yours.

Splash in the third slot, eh?

Sorcery! Huhuhahahaha! Nickname: Apocalypse.

Here’s a little... side-product. ... Now that is a hell of a Rattata. No Rattata in existence can possibly have almost 400 HP at level 100, let alone level 69.

Or have that much Def, Sp. Atk, and Sp. Def. ... Or that low of an Atk. ... Dude. This guy can take hits and nothing else.

Turns out, you don’t even need a Graveler to whip Whitney’s ass. Geodude is fine. “Whits Bane”. As in, “Whitney’s Bane”. ... This was its literally only purpose.

So... this guy here... was a Quilava. Its data got corrupted during the demon magic bullsh*t, and it became an unstable Rattata. Which, when “stabilized”, became a level 1 Jigglypuff with Pokerus. ... Yep. I just force-spawned Pokerus. Because why not.

They are... parasites. Tiny little life forms stuck on the Pokemon. ... That’s nasty, dude.

The sorcery continues! Rock Smash in 3rd slot. Nickname: Leviathan. The true one. Behold the leviathan, monster of the sea! Its strong scales are its pride!

... Apparently this run’s ID gives me Smog and Fire Spin. Because those two moves were on all five Pokemon that I used this glitch to hatch. ... Which means this Lugia here is 2/5.

Nidorino! ... A Normal type Nidorino. ... ?????

“You could never catch a legendary Pokemon anyway.” ... You were literally just whipped by two of them. You blind f*ck.

Turns out, Morty is insanely easy if you... you know. Mewtwo doesn’t get Psychic until level 66, but... it gets Confusion at level 1.

Chuck’s Poliwrath was blasted so hard, its sprite died. RIP. Also proof that this was the result of shenanigans. Not only do I have a Lugia that’s level 24 (when the lowest you can get is 40 in Silver), but... Aeroblast. Aeroblast is only available in Silver version, since Lugia gets it at level 1, and then learns a new move every 11x level (11, 22, 33, 44, etc). So at level 40, it has Aeroblast, Safeguard, Gust, and Recover. In the wild, a level 44 one would’ve erased Aeroblast for Hydro Pump. So in Gold version, the level 70 Lugia does not have Aeroblast. In Crystal, the level... 60? Lugia does not have Aeroblast. And there is no such thing as a move re-learner in GSC. ... Similarly, Gold is the only version where you can get Sacred Fire. ... Which means, poor Crystal version. Doesn’t get sh*t.

Speaking of Sacred Fire... Shenanigans! Whirlpool in the 3rd slot. Nickname: Phoenix. 3/5.

Somehow, this doesn’t feel fair. Lance in the Pokemon League. Getting one-shotted. Hmm...

Well, that’s the Pokemon League down. EASY! But this time, I’m going all the way. Kanto!

Hey, this is the guy that kills your game. Talk to that thing and then open the Coin Case and then your game gets f*cked. Something like that.

Hmm... Kanto, huh? Then I get access to Grimer, and therefore Acid Armor... Hmm...

Huhuhuhahaha! Acid Armor in 3rd slot. Nickname: Doomguard. Apparently you can’t use numbers, so... I couldn’t name it as “135″. Boo. Ehn. It’s not shiny, so... 4/5.

“This Gym is great! Only girls are allowed here!” ... Yeah, maybe that line is better deleted in HGSS. ... The HGSS line makes no damn sense. Just deleting this guy would’ve been better.

... Were you... having a date right in front of someone else’s house? ... What is wrong with you?

Oh you poor, sad little man. Living in a cave, since Cinnabar Island burned down. Volcano eruption. Well, at least in HGSS, you modified the sh*t out of the cave floor in Seafoam Islands. In here, you’re literally just a dude sitting in a cave all by yourself.

Janine. You sad f*ck. What is this? Level 36?! The weakest Kanto leader by far. Even weaker than a Johto leader. That’s just... pitiful.

Oh, I remember this. The trainer house? Oh, I spent a lot of time here back in actual Gold version, trying to get Metronome to get Transform so I could Transform into the Smeargle with Sketch, so that the Mewtwo would get Sacred Fire. And I succeeded... twice, since I accidentally deleted Thunderbolt, so I had to do this glitch again, but for Thunderbolt.

Johto Leaders must be pretty pathetic because I beat them? You f*ck. Here you are, sitting all by yourself in a Gym clearly made of Lego, and you’re calling the Johto Leaders pathetic?

Well, now that I annihilated this f*ck with Mewtwo (for a specific reason), I now have access to Mt. Silver, and thus, my 5th and last addition to my team. Oh, SNEASEL!!!

Final shenanigans. Beat Up in 3rd slot. Nickname: Temporus. 5/5. It ain’t a Dragon, but hey. Time thingy. And so my team is ready. Level 59 Mew, 56 Mewtwo, 55 Lugia, 55 Ho-oh, 55 Celebi. Time to take on Red with his level 70+ team.

Oh yeah. GSC Mt. Silver requires Flash. ... Flash is for sissies?!

... Wow. Can’t see sh*t except for an item that’s... ... How would you even see that?!

So... Flash is necessary. Cool. Adding in a level 5 Togepi with Flash. The team is ready.

Mt. Silver. So... here is a “hidden” path that leads to a cave with literally nothing in it. ... Like, what the f*ck was the point of this?

And another hidden path to another hidden cave with literally nothing in it. ... WHY?! Were there supposed to be some cool hidden sh*t here that got canned at the last moment?!

... So, that’s how pitiful Pikachu is. Level 81, got outrun by a level 59 Mew (base 90 vs. base 100), and one-shotted by Earthquake. ... See, this is why I can the Pikachu as soon as possible in Yellow version for a Mew. Pikachu ain’t my starter. MEW is my starter!

And ANNIHILATED! You poor sap. I have a bunch of Pokemon 20 levels lower, and yet... EASY. Why? Because Legendaries have much higher stats than other Pokemon. And in RGBY GSC, every stat gets “EVed”. ... PKRS also helps out greatly. In short, all my Pokemon are better by far. ... Which is why I restrict myself to non-Legendaries only in other normal runs. It just ain’t fair otherwise.

Now that I finished the game, I guess I’ll go to the one thing I always found super cool and very f*cking meaningless. Edit the time to be Monday, and make a beeline for Mt. Moon!

... F*ck. I forgot about this encounter. Way to ruin it, dude. It’s a huge step down from facing Red to facing you. Boo. ... Also, now you f*cking notice? You weak pathetic f*ck. Dude, you don’t need love to raise Pokemon. You’ve been using violence, and you’ve been mislead that you need love and affection. ... Dude, you need knowledge. Violence can only come properly afterwards. ... This is a reference to the elder’s questions in Crystal and HGSS Dragon’s Den. “What do you need to raise Pokemon? Love, violence, or knowledge?”

The Clefairy dance in Mt. Moon Square! Only on Mondays at night. This is still in HGSS, I think. The Clefairy dance and... leaves you a Moon Stone before running off, which means the Moon Stone is the only evolution stone you can get infinite amount of times. The others, you get like... two. Fire/Water/Leaf/Thunder Stones require you to be in Kanto for some f*cked up reason!

Now then, Gold version joy run is over. Lots of shenanigans happened. And here is my final team:

Caught Snorlax with a duplicated Master Ball, removed the Leftovers, duplicated that 5 times so all 5 of my Pokemon can have one. Constant HP regeneration for Pokemon with PKRS boosted stat experience, and with base HP stats of 100, 100, 106, 106, 106? That’s pretty freaking cheap, man.

Psychic: Level 40, but... who has the time for that? Duplicated TM 29: Psychic 4 times, so... yay. Shadow Ball: TM 30, again duplicated. Earthquake: TM 26, duplicated. Ice Punch, TM 33. Purchased in Goldenrod! Yay for not having to use the duplication glitch!

... And PP maxed for the PP 10 or lower moves using the duplicated PP Ups.

I ain’t waiting for level 66 for Mewtwo to get Psychic. Duplicated TM!

Psychic, Earthquake, and Shadow Ball. ... Just like Mew. And Ho-oh. DUPLICATION! But look. When there’s one...

There’s the other. With a symmetrical moveset.

... Celebi doesn’t learn Psychic by itself. ... TM. Also doesn’t get Giga Drain by itself. ... TM (duplicated). Shadow Ball? Also TM. And since Celebi’s movepool is as shallow as Keldeo’s, I let it keep Leech Seed. And with Leech Seed and Leftovers, Celebi here was able to easily annihilate Red’s Snorlax despite its Amnesia. EASY!

And there you have it! An easy-ass annihilation of Gold version. ... All you have to do f*ck up the game. At one point, the Dex said that I owned 39 Pokemon. But the Dex only showed me the “owned” icons for 19. Which means, I apparently owned 20 Pokemon that I never saw. ... Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Poor game. But at least “POOKYPOOKY” didn’t appear this time.

#gsrun

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igglybuffliveblogs · 7 years

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