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frenchphobic · 3 years

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long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken

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planetjisungie · 4 years

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détester- l.dh

characters; slytherin! haechan x gryffindor! reader ft. gryffindor! mark (its just a given at this point) and slytherin! jisung

summary; enemies to lovers, you and donghyuck had always just hated eachother. you dont know when it started, or why it started but it was starting to get annoying.

an; i WILL finish my hogwarts series tonight we only have chenle left but now we have more fluff than actual crack because simon says is playing

congratulations you have reached gryffindor level you lucky prick

only the finest gryffindor

you are the embodiment of courage, literally if there was a ditch and someone fell down while everyone was too scared to help them, youd dive in before they could even say ‘dumbledore’

and you just so happen to be the younger sister of mark lee

the infamous mark lee,, that is

lucky prick part 2

but one thing made you seem not so lucky

your sworn enemy, lee donghyuck

or haechan as he liked to be called because apparently all evil villains needed a fake name

thats what you said anyway, he just liked the name haechan for its meaning

but he was also the emodiment of a slytherin, ambitious, cunning, resourceful and he was a pretty damn good leader

hence him being the captain of the quidditch team (no we are not going down the jisung route)

you didnt actually know when you started hating him, in your first year he had just decided to tie your poor, poor cat like a pig for roasting (he was in his second year already)

mr snuggles was traumatized

after that day it was small things to annoy you

like when he put hair dye in your conditioner bottle, resulting in your hair turning out a seafoam green colour

which you actually didnt mind so the joke was really on him, you pulled that shit off

or when he put spiders in your school shoes

that was unpleasant

and he also put a cockroach in your pocket, scaring your poor best friend who was terrified of the creatures

jisung was shaking, he hates cockroaches

to this day you still didnt know why he was a slytherin, but you guessed it was because he was a pureblood, very ambitious and resourceful but not so scary

but today was no exception

you walked towards the gryffindor table, robe billowing behind you as if you were walking in a movie

you were a lee sibling, you were both good at literally everything and deserved all the praise on earth

you fucking go girl, i stan

jisung sat at your table, the gryffindors appeared not to mind, especially as he was actually super nice

"y/n haechan told me to give you this"

ah there it was

the small hufflepuff girl handed you the letter before scurrying off back to her table

"y/n im scared"

jisung was already frightened of what that letter would hold

and you were a good friend, who knew no good would come from that letter

so you shoved it in your pocket, letting it crumple up before turning back to your breakfast

rip donghyuck

that was a fat L for our boy

he just wanted your attention

at first at least, he just wanted to be noticed by you so he pulled the cat stunt, making sure he didn’t actually harm the creature because he is still a decent human being and the grey furry animal did nothing to him

but now he had taken things too far

and he realised that after the stunt he pulled which resulted in you

yes, you, the brave, courageous gryffindor, crying

yeah he fucked up

he casted an illusion spell that infiltrated your sleep, creating nightmares with your deepest fears

and he regretted that

prank gone wrong *nearly killed her* (not clickbait)

you were still pissed at him for that

but that letter in your pocket was no ordinary letter

it was a confession letter, because he; yes him, the infamous slytherin, was too scared to talk to you about it in person

yet you literally just crushed his heart

which he kinda deserved to be fair

but jisung sent you a grateful smile and you went back to your conversation of which cereal brand was better

the answer is obviously lucky charms or frosted shreddies pengers mate

so our baby slytherin needed to find another way to get his feelings across because he was failing

and brother mark was: not happy

mark was a friend of haechan but despite his complaints every goddamn time that he needed to stop his stupid jokes that weren’t actually jokes, he didnt listen

maybe he shouldve listened

mark knows best

apart from jenos fic, mark was a real bitch but this is mark 2.0

mark really doesnt know best

anyways moving on

its time for innovative hyuck™️

so its back to the drawing room, sitting next to yuta (his head boy) to discuss the next plan of action

cutie yuta felt that haechan opening up to him about his feelings was the biggest achievement during his time at hogwarts

so right, the next plan

it was to leave flowers on your bed and then when you turned around to see who put them there (hypothetically) he would be there and he could make his outstanding apology

but of course, this isnt some fanfiction where everything goes right

who do you take me for?

so later that day he gathered his flowers, tying them in a cute dark green ribbon

staying with the slytherin theme

and he put them on your bed

they were some seriously nice flowers

you noticed them as soon as you walked in and your heart swelled

unfortunately that wasnt the only thing that swelled

you were allergic to pollen, and your eyes had puffed up slightly, itching a little and you had some sniffles

that was another L for hyuck

and he ran, he fucking booked it out of his little hiding spot back to his common room aka the dungeon

"YUTA I FAILED"

"how the fuck do you fail giving someone flowers hyuck?"

"shes fucking allergic"

so you never found out who gave you flowers

but

but you did keep them, despite your obvious physical irritation to them

they were pretty :(((

so you pressed them into a random notebook you found, because seriously you couldnt just chuck them out

unfortunately for hyuck, he was not so slick to mark who narrowed his eyes on the boy

he knew something was up

what kind of torture device was flowers ?? this was too soft

and so he found out that the same boy who had been making your life a little

how should i say

s p i c y

had a fat crush on you and was just a pouty baby who wanted your love and attention

cute

mark didnt know whether to support this?? like ?? he knew that underneath your front of disliking the long legged boy, you had some feelings, maybe small but they were there

you wouldve called it fondness

because

i promise youre not a sadist or masochist

but you would see him in class

he was very focused and had a beautiful smile

and laugh

he may come across a little... stand offish and arrogant at first but hes actually a kind soul

from how he made a mess in the grand hall but when he thought everyone was gone, he stayed behind to help clean it, having fun conversations with the staff (elves? who tf cleans the great hall??)

that goddamn melodious laughter constantly ringing in your head

shawtys like a melody in my head

but moving on

you noticed the pranks he pull decreased

and that was because he was spending time with yuta and mark, planning the perfect, foolproof (unfortunately not jeno this time) way to confess

and he sent you small smiles ?? what ??

this is so unlike the hyuck you knew

like he did a 180

i did a full 180 baby crazy

i said this was gonna be less crackish but when regular comes on and you hear jaehyuns queso line you cant not feel qUirKy

(bbq- bb—s mY DIAMONDS I DONT NEED NO LIGHT TO SHINE- jungwoo)

okay so the next plan

you loved quidditch too, mainly because your brother was the captain for the gryffindor team

so the plan was for you to attend the slytherin v gryffindor match and

mark somewhat willingly agreed to have a friendly match so that hyuck could show off his skills

this was an awful plan

because it was raining the day of the match

so you and jisung huddled together for warmth, shivering as you watched the match

and hyuck couldnt feel worse, he felt like you were now going to be sick because of him

damn, you really couldnt catch a break

the groan of pure frustration yuta let out was amusing at least

he was just as invested in this as haechan at this point

like he was germinating a seed??? he was fathering this relationship

so with another L, haechan felt super super bad

and this baby cooked for you

he got his best friend jaemin to teach him how to make chicken soup

because you were actually not a herbivore

(thats the category i put vegans and vegetarians in)

omnivore tings

so he carried his little pot of soup, his fingers kind of burning as it was piping hot

he legit walked right past a suffering jisung in the slytherin dorm, the pot of soup still in hand not even sparing a thought about taking pity on the poor kid and giving him some

so he walked to your dorm, being let in by mark who was being big bro™️ and looking after your sick ass

you looked dead

pale skin, eyes closed, lips tinted blue, your body was shivering but you felt fucking boiling

peak peak times

but haechan still thought you looked gorgeous

mark vacated the dorms, leaving to his lessons so hyuck could look after you

this wasnt a plan ?? but hyuck rolled with it

setting his lil pot down he sat in a seat next to you, staring at your asleep awake form with closed eyes

his eyes held so much love and adoration for you, you really are lucky

he took off his robe, just sitting there in his shirt, trousers and green tie and watching you sleep

you were actually awake, just vibing and breathing to stay alive

and he had a lot on his chest

"i know ive been a massive prick to you and im really sorry. i know you’re asleep right now but im too much of a coward to say this to your face. i really only just wanted your attention because i seem to have feelings for you and i am sincerely sorry for going about it the wrong way"

your ears were {}

wide open

boy were you listening and taking this all in

oh shit

realizashun xx

so you fluttered your eyes open gently, watching his face morph into an expression of pure terror from his previous one of literal love

*whipping noise*

"youre awake!" he squeaked out, eyes darting around the room to look at anything but you

which you couldnt help but smile at

shifting to the side in your bed slightly, you lifted the covers, lazily patting the now open space

"c’mere"

your voice was kind of croaky and hoarse

that made hyuck feel guilty

baby it wasn’t your fault

but he complied, kicking off his leather school shoes and sliding besides you, staying as far away from you as possible

not to offend you, his heart was just going a million miles a second and there was no way you wouldn’t be able to hear it

this boy was like blushy sausage face part 2

arrogant hyuck has left the chat

you pouted seeing him shuffle away from you, shuffling to move yourself closer instead

power move, he either had to cuddle with you or fall off the bed

"can we just forget what i said earlier?"

that made you frown

the fuck?

hell no

"hyuck wait-"

"no dont bring it up its embarrassing"

whiny baby is back

"hyuck i-"

"nope nope nope nope"

"LET ME SPEAK FOR FUCKS SAKE"

he had no choice but to listen

your voice sounded strained already and he didnt want to make you feel worse

"i have feelings for you too you big baby"

double take

you what now?

haechans mouth just kinda froze open

so you shut his jaw gently

cant let him get jaw ache

"wait what?"

his soul has returned

he felt elated, completely happy, dare i say like he was high on a drug and said drug was not THC it was your TLC (LMAO GET IT IM PROUD OF THAT)

and so thats how mark returned to your dorm room to see you and hyuck cuddled in your bed, your head laying on his chest as his chin rested on your head, nuzzling into your hair (which was still half seafoam green might i add)

hyuck wasnt awake to celebrate, so yumark had their own small celebration, counting this as their success

you only found out he had put the flowers on your bed about two months after you started dating

a month after that you read the letter he gave you

#nct #nct dream #mark #mark lee #jisung #jisung park #nct hogwarts au #no eun this time 😔#fucking finally this one took longer than an hour to write #haechan #donghyuck #hyuck #gryffindor reader

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

Amiright?

Summery- 2.1k. Colin x Y/N. A fun night out brings up some questions. So this was written for @official-and-unstable-satan gif challenge. If you wanna participate, head on over and join in, more then happy to nominate you if you desire. I did break the rules a bit with that opening gif, but it does appear before the final gif. Im not much of one to follow the rules, sorry peeps. I roll my own way.

You and Colin had a easy relationship. It was never really all that serious, you two never even made it “official”. The two just melded one day into this more then best friends with benefits, you were his unofficial girlfriend, a term you thought yourself to be. You unfortunately would freeze up at the idea of official girlfriend, i mean... thats to serious, isnt it?

He looked out for you, and you looked out for him. Long days at work, he would surprise you with your favorite take out spread on the coffee table, and then you would sit between his legs, his arms wrapped around you while you both played the newest video game. He would make it out like you totally kicked his ass, stealing kisses and nibbles when he wanted to distract you and usually before the night was done, the video controllers were forgotten for a quickie on the couch, often times the video games music was your new sexy time theme song.

Then other times, he would drag you out of the apartment. His grin boyish as he insisted you change from your work outfit, unbuttoning your blouse and running a hand over the lacy cups of your bra. “Fuck I love this number on you, when we come back, I should peel you right out of this with my teeth.” Your breath hitched, you would like that very much. Placing a kiss to your lips, he smirked “but not right now. I have something else in mind. Something sporty lil minx.”

“Where are we going?” You question, digging through your closet. “Im not sure of how to dress!”

“Anything babe! Comfy clothes!” He went into the closet you currently were a bit lost in, and reached over you to grab your sweat pants and a tshirt. You look at them with an arched brow and snort while taking them. “You high classing me up Stud?”

He winked as he pulled on his old beat up grey zip up. “You know it sexy, aint no one got nothing on you.”

Laughing, the two of you stumble out the door and his arm wrapped around you your waist, holding you in against his side, you followed him along, chatting a bit about your day since he wasnt spilling what the two of you were doing.

But soon enough you two came up to the local gymnasium and he dug out a key from his pocket, unlocking the doors and slipping in. As the two of you walked in, a few lights sprung on and you wiggled out of his hold and sprang forward to do a cartwheel, landing half hazardly back on your feet. “Ta-Da!” giggling as you reach up to pull your hair back into a ponytail, snapping the band you kept around your wrist around. Colin grabbed a nearby basketball and lazily dribbled it as he sauntered towards you across the court. “How did you get the key to this place?”

“I know a guy who knows a guy, who needed a gig played this weekend. Figured we needed a night out baby, and what better then playing Horse?” Another dribble and you put your hands to your hips watching him, you were always down for the thrill of the challenge. Competitive little minx that you are. And he was right, you two had been holed up in the apartment for a tad to long.

“Well lets make it interesting Colin.” you state, holding your hands out for the ball. “Every missed shot, we get to pick something to loose.” He cocked a brow and raked his eyes over you. “Game on babygirl.“ He tossed you the ball ,and smirked, watching as you picked your spot. Off to the left side of the court, along the edge, you dribble a few times and then with a small jump, flick of your wrist, you sent the ball flying, and hell you made this shot a hundred times growing up. That ball gave a sweet sweet swish snap, and Colin rolled his eyes. “easy, I got this.” Jogging for the ball, he swooped it up and zig zagging over to you, showing off, you step from where you stood while he went to make his shot.

“Its harder then it looks” you claim, and he winks.

“Im winning this baby, your gonna look awful good running around all bare ass naked in here while I claim my trophey.” And sure enough he to made the shot.

“Oh you think your gonna get that far? Whats your trophey?”

“Why your panties of course.”

Oh fuck, game on boy, you thought and grabbing the ball, you chose your next spot, further away, towards the middle of the court. When you went to make your shot, he snapped your ass with his palm, making you squeek and shoot it way off, not even hitting the back board. “COLIN!” His laughter echoing as he tugged on your shirt. “Off it comes!”

“That was cheating you bastard” you stick your tongue out as you jerk it over your head and toss it over his shoulder. He grasped your chin and drew your teasing tongue into his mouth, wrangling a moan from you before releasing you.

"Fighting dirty is encouraged babygirl, I thought you knew that" you narrowed your eyes at him as he jogged for the ball, the bouncing echoing while he assessed where he wanted to shoot from. Once he picked, you sauntered in front of him, leaving enough space so he could shoot, but you knew what could distract him. Since they distracted him 20 times a day without even trying. His hand was always snaking up your shirt to play with your breasts.

Just as he was about to shoot, your hands shot up and giving a luscious lip parting, moan, plumping the swells together, his eyes immediately fell from the hoop to where they were spilling over the top, and sure enough his shot went WAY WAY off the mark. A drop of your hands and the wiggle of the brows, you snicker.

“Loose the shirt hot stuff!” You tug on his hoodie, and pull down the zipper for him, leaning up to catch his lips in a kiss, fully meant to draw his focus from the game. Tiny nips, flick of the tongue trailing over his full bottom lip and then pulling away before he can get the satisfaction of tasting your kiss. A frustrated groan fell from his chest, and he shrugged off the shirt.

The back and forth was fierce. Colin got the satisfaction of getting the next few shots, and much to your disdain at this, you shed off your belt, pants and one sock. He did let you keep on one sock, how sweet of him. While you were following along behind him, hooking your hand into his belt loops and tugging on him from behind as he takes a random jumping shot, falling back into you.

“Ha, you missed baby, Pants, they are finally mine!”

He doesnt even hesitate to unzip them and tug them off, a smirk playing off his mouth.

So his next statement threw you off axis, put a pause to your laughter, tilted your whole world off kilter. You dont know why it would scare you so much.

“My girlfriend is free to take my pants off whenever she pleases.” With a toss he shot them in the pile of clothing you accumulated.

But you couldnt see that, he called you his girlfriend, girlfriend. You werent anything, never have been.

“What? Im not your girlfriend.”

He just looked at you a bit weird and picked up the ball. “Of course you are Y/N, we practically live together now, Im just waiting for my lease to end on my apartment.”

“Oh no buddy.” Your hands go to your hips with a shake of the head “We never said we were anything.” Pointing between the two of you, good mood gone as his face turned serious listening to you.

“Then what has this all been? You cant tell me nothing Y/N, its been like a year” You already had turned on your heels. You werent running away, no, not at all. You werent terrified that he might have cared about you more then in a friendly way, although you both know thats the biggest mother fucking lie you told yourself in that moment when he was saying your name, trying to get an answer.

Your gathering your clothes when he grasps your arm. “Will you just stop for a moment Y/N and talk to me?”

“I cant, I got to work tomorrow.” You lamely make an excuse, fuck work.

“You know, I knew I god damn knew you would pull this shit Y/N the minute I said it was anything. You know why? Your so damned scared of actually wanting something, you wont say it. Think its gonna blow all up in your face, amiright?” His words running together as you wrench your arm out and you glare at him.

“Im not the one who just assumed anything asshole.” Your temper flaring to hide anything other then what you really want to say. And you leave Colin standing there in shock, in the middle of the gymnasium, the lights glaring over him and you resolve not to look back as you slam out the door, but you hear him, a string of cusses following you outside in his anger and your name, your name calling you back, to not run away. But run away you did.

He didnt come back that night, not to your apartment, you heard the slamming of his door across the hallway and you curled up in bed feeling completely miserable about what had happened, how you reacted and maybe he was right, you had some kind of commitment issue after years of self esteem issues. Ones he always talked you through.

“Babes your so damn smart, what would I do without you?!” Helping him put together a lyric for his music, the words would just come to you.

“Come on, its not that bad, let me read.” Sneaking a peek over your shoulder at a short writing piece you were indulging yourself in.

“Kicking ass and taking names” High fiving you after a particularly difficult boss in the video game.

“Baby you eat today? How about a grilled cheese?” on those days you just couldnt get your shit together and remember to feed yourself. A water bottle being tossed at you.

“God damn your so beautiful” Early morning wake ups, his arm locking you in close, and not allowing you to leave him for a few moments. A kiss to your shoulder and light nibble to your neck before you really had to start the day.

It hurt he wasnt there now, the bed felt hollowed and you buried your face in the pillow. Why did you do this to yourself? He tried to text a few times, but you bypassed them, not having an answer for him. He would want one, Curtis didnt just let things go. ‘what are you never going to talk to me again?’ was his last one. Then the phone went silent.

The night turned into days, and it turned into the longest three damn days you could recall. Then the third night as you were nursing a beer, secretly listening for the door across the hall, there was a knock, a soft rapt that made you spring up out of your seat. Setting the bottle aside, you unlocked your door and peered out. Opening the door wider, there was Colin, not in his usual band tees, and jeans, or that stupid zip up you missed, no he was dressed up, tie and everything.

“Hi Y/n” he smiled, fidgeting a bit, he seemed so out of his norm. You shyly look down, picking at your rather unfancy attire.

“Hi Colin, you look good”

“Do I? I wouldnt know” He teased and reached out to lift your face with a tilt of his fingers under your chin. “But theres an important woman whom deserves it.” Your brows come together, clearly unsure of what he meant. “Y/N, I didnt mean to scare you off, I should have done this right, not just assume you wanted the same thing I did. Im hoping you do, but if you dont... then I will respect that. Will you date me, be my girlfriend?”

Seeing him now, those uncalled for fears still lingered, but you wanted this. You wanted him, and the past few days showed just how much he actually meant to you, maybe you both were taking each other for granted.

“Yes Colin, I cant believe you still want to after I was such an asshole”

“Nah, you werent an asshole.” He stepped in closer, and kissed your forehead. “Okay, maybe a teeny bit, but I was a big dick for not talk to you about it, so that makes us pretty even right?”

You laugh listening to him and tug on his tie, dragging him into the apartment. Fuck you missed this.

@what-is-your-plan-today im just gonna tag you in everything till your like “STOP” lmao

#colin x reader #chris evans #god he was such a baby here

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sweetlittleboytoy · 4 years

Text

A BNHA Mafia Au written by me and other people in my discord!

(This was my first real post so uh i hope you like??🥺🥺)

You run to the closest structure as the rain starts beat down on you harder. You safely make it under an awning and shiver....

Damn the rain and damn your lack of foresight. The clouds had been threatening to drench anyone who dares leave their home all day but since it had been mostly all bark, no bite you had decided to play chicken with them anyways. Oh well, worse things have happened. You look around, seeing the people passing with umbrellas. Footsteps closing in on you draw your attention and you turn your head. Another person, another victim of the rain.

You look up to see a man with red hair, shaking his head to rid himself of the water that had poured on him.

“What a day to forget an umbrella huh?' The man said suddenly, not really looking at you.

You nod for a moment, only to realize that he still wasn't looking at you, and you didn't want to seem rude,”Yeah, didn't think it would come down this hard.' You said back to him.

He finally looked at you, his red eyes almost sparkling in amusement, 'Funny thing is, I actually have an umbrella in my car!' he laughed.

“I mean I could invite you to tag along and get it! But I figured that'd probably be a... really really weird thing to say to a strangers...´ he continued and scratched the back of his neck.

You laugh too, nodding along to what he was saying 'yeah maybe, and we'd get drenched on the way there anyways.' you looked off towards the street again, smiling to yourself. He was cute. Real cute. And... just your type. Bumbling, excited and kinda quirky. Like your own personal sun on this rainy day.

“.Mmmh true. Well what were you doing? I mean... before it started raining?'"You look at the red haired stranger nervously,was the truth even an option here?”I was just exploring,”you say softly.He looks at you and absentminded,you shrink under his gaze.He smiles at you,”in the rain?”he says teasingly “and odd time to explore dont ya think”

Your face seems to flush in embarrassment, "Well, I guess you could say I'm new to this part of town... So I just thought I would take a good look around to familiarize myself." you admitted as you watched a car pass by, splashing a couple of puddles.

You leaned forward and looked up at the sky. "New to the area? I could show you around, ya know!" You could hear the excitement in his voice as a smile crossed your face again. You turned and looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear, "You don't have to do that."

“Well what if I insist then? I mean, I couldn't possibly leave a lady like you in trouble! I take my title of hero very seriously you see.' As he said the last part he put his hand on his chest and gave you a small bow. You giggle at his actions, feeling a little more at ease. 'Hero huh?' you ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“That's what the kids at work call me, I'm a physical therapist with a main focus on working with kids. I don't work too far from here so I know my way around."

He stood tall and you're sure he puffed his chest out a little extra, proud of his work surely. Your heart melted a little at his bright smile. And as he smiled the rain started to calm to a soft dribble. You looked away and held out your hand to feel how bad the rain was. 'Well... what's my heroes name then? I can't let a stranger help me...'"

“It’s Eijirou Kirishima!”

He smirks and jokingly bows again,poking out his arm.”Away we go milady”.You take his arm,looking at him happily.”i never got your name”he says”i wouldn’t want you to continue to think of me as a stranger.”

You pause at the question,another worrying answer.You decide to trust him,”it’s y/n,my last names a little weird though”You say nervously.

“Nothing i couldn’t pronounce i bet”he teases.

“it’s uh..l/n”you say quietly.

“Wait like,the criminal?”He says in a joking manner.

You nod.”Family member,”you say to him softly.He shrugs and continues to walk with you”No biggie,i won’t judge you on that.My names Eijirou!Eijirou Kirishima” He says proudly.

“oh wait i already said that”he realizes. You laughed at his small mistake, "It's alright, now I won't forget your name." you walked arm and arm with Eijirou, letting him lead you around the new area.

"Thanks... by the way." You said suddenly, your voice shy now as you two walked together. "By not judging me for my family ties." You kept your gaze away from him as you took in the scenery, mentally taking in what was around you to remember for later.

Eijirou let out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, "You can't just judge someone by their family members, it's not fair." He said, putting his arm down and looking down at you.

"You seem like a really nice person Y/N, I couldn't think poorly of you."

"You let out a weak chuckle at his genuine comment. Its ironic how someone you just met sounded like he knew you so well. What he said made youre heart twist almost painfully. He didn't know you, you reminded yourself. You just met.

'Thank you but... Uhm I'm sorry Kirishima but... do you know where the next ward begins? I'll know where to go from there. Thank you for helping me, by the way.' You look up at him finally, smiling as to try to hide your true feelings. As you speak you also grab his left hand in both of yours, an attempt to have him not worry too much about why you seem so nervous.

Unbenknownst to him the border between this ward and the next is where you're hoping to findbyour brother. You knew there had been some problems expanding your familys teritory to span more wards, apparently you were creeping your way into som big shots place. You never approved of the stuff but when your brother were missing suddenly in the morning you pretty much knew where he'd be. “Yea of course y/n” he says to you.You can still hear worry present in his voice,but you can’t focus on that now.

“Give me your phone?”he asks softly,”i wanna make sure you get home safe.Bad stuff happens around here”

Ya don’t say?You think to yourself.

You hand him your phone and he adds in his contact,”I’ll text you in an hour,so i hope you answer” he says to you”

You nod and walk tothe direction he pointed in,and wave him goodbye,walking through the darkly coloured gate. You let out a breath, not that you really wanted to leave Eijirou's side, but more because you were alone. You looked down at your phone and almost had a burst of excitement, a giddy feeling, he had given you his number.

You really couldn't believe it, you cleared your throat and straightened up, unable to shake away this feeling, it was the happiest you had been in a while. You pushed forward and headed away from Eijirou and to look for your brother. The street you had been pointed to follow indeed took you to the next ward. Obviousy you wouldnt find your brother out on the open street. He may be bold but he wasnt stupid. Or... not that stupid. So you turned on a street, in on a backstreet that seemed promising. Dark and damp from the recent pour, and most importantly empty of people.

If your memory served your right then the new exapnsion should be somewhere here. Your brother had said they were making plans to make a hit on a warehouse owned by the other mafia so thats where you were headed. Doubts flooded your mind. Maybe you should just send Eijirou a text, meet him and have a nice rest of the day.

You realized that was too late when a gun shot echoed through the empty street. “What the fuck did i tell you would happen if i caught you here again?”You hear a voice yell.

You hide behind a wall,staying out of the view enough but still being able to see them.

A man with spiky blonde hair throws someone on the ground.

“Then you shouldn’t have-“

A gunshot thudded through the alleyway,and a scream of pain shot through.

You recognised it,your brother.

You saw blood spill onto the wall,an a shudder went through you.

“I spared you once,on account of your damn sister.Stop fucking testing me you shit.” The blonde says looking at your brother. Your throat felt like it had a knot form on it and panic start to kick in. You didn't know what to do soyou moved before you thought. Peeking around the corner you first saw your brother finally. He was on his knees, blood pooling around his right knee ashe clutched it. He was panting, struggling to form words through the pain.

Above him the blonde stood. A gun pointed towards your brothers head. He cocked the gun while tilting his head, letting you see his face better. His red eyes were focused on your sibling. "Got nothing to say, huh? Fucking thought so. C'mon, not even a last message I can deliver to your sister?"

Your breath caught in your throat as your brother started to speak again. "G... go fuck yourself, dont even think about talking to her you-you bastard!"The blonde smirks.

“I was hoping you’d say that”

You felt your legs about to move,and before you did a hand wrapped around you and pulled you back.Another hand covered your mouth,keeping you from audibly screaming.

You were pulled back through the gate,and you automatically turned at kicked your kidnapper.

“Y/n!Stop it’s just me!!”You hear.

Opening your eyes you see your best friend,Shoto Todoroki.

“Oh my god Toki,don’t sneak up on me like that.”You said hugging him.

Your eyes open wide at your memory,”My brother!We have to help him!”You say to him.

Shoto shakes his head,”i have that side already in motion,your brother will be okay i promise”He says to you.

You forgot that Shoto was a double side member.But you didn’t forget that he cared enough about you to leave his family.He cares so much about you and your brother he decided to take the task of double siding both dangerous gangs.Just for you two.

“He’s all i have toki ,”You whimper and cry into his shoulder.He pets the back of your head softly,”I know n/n,hell be okay”.

He puts his jacket on you,making you yet again aware of the pouring rain.

“Let’s get you home for now.Hell be there soon.”You follow him, hugging his jacket around your shoulders. He’s set a quick pace away from the alley—he can’t be seen with you, especially not by Bakugo, but you’re not entirely sure where he’s taking you.

You’re not sure how far away you’ve gotten when Todoroki turns a corner and the two of you enter a shop. Behind the counter sits a girl you recognize, Momo, one of your brother’s most trusted friends.

The two exchange a nod, and then Todoroki’s leaving with little more than a “Your brother will meet you at home” to say goodbye.

You almost want to keep him here, you never see him anymore, but you know someone’s more likely to notice his disappearance the longer he’s gone.

Momo draws your attention as she moves from her place behind the counter, productions two identical umbrellas from her arm as she does. She gives you a little smile, handing one to you. “C’mon. I’ll walk you home.”You take the umbrella from Momo and smile back at her, you were running into all sorts of friends around here. You walked next to Momo as you headed back home through back alleyways, your umbrellas open now since it had begun raining again.

You felt your phone vibrate and pulled it out of your pocket, slowing your walking speed to see that Eijirou had texted you, just like he promised.

You responded to him and let him know you were walking with a friend and you were on your way home now.

"Momo... do you think my brother is okay?" You asked nervously, shoving your phone back into your pocket. "Toki told me he was going to be okay... but that situation was rough."You nod slowly,attempting to process what she told you.

Your phone buzzes again.

“i meant to tell you y/n,your pretty cute when your hairs wet”

You smile to yourself,a bit more at ease and trying to ignore the present situation.

—

At home though,things were quiet.Too quiet.

The second you closed you door and Momo left you felt eyes on you.Yet you made no motions to give way of this knowledge.

You moved to the kitchen and pretended to start a meal,sneakily hiding an ice pick in your sleeve.

Your quirk was unknown to most people,aside from Shoto and your brother,every though you were quirkless.

Having a mental quirk type,helped a lot more than a physical one.

You felt the eyes move,still they thought they were out of your view,but you could feel their upcoming attempt to attack.

They jumped at you,and immediately you threw the ice pick toward them,it stabbing deep into their arm.

The flash of green hair moved into your vision,and you armed yourself with the gun your brother gifted you.He looks at you with an evil smirk

“We meet again my dear.”You wrinkle your nose at the term of endearment, but you don’t comment on it, keeping still with the barrel of the gun aimed at him.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he reaches towards the ice pick. You realize then, with disappointment, that it hadn’t really imbedded itself in his arm—it had grazed him, drawing blood, but ultimately found home in the wall behind him.

Pity. You wouldn’t miss next time.

Izuku tosses the pick to the floor towards you. It’s not aggressive, it’s almost friendly, but you don’t bother to pick it up.

He sighs, adjusting the jacket of the suit he’s wearing. “I’m not feeling very welcome, darling.”

“Might be because you’re not,” you reply smoothly. “My brother will be back any minute. Do yourself a favor and scram before he does.”Izuku looks at you,he looks like a snake going after a mouse.And you’re his prey.

You see the green emission of his quirk slowly seep through the room,and you prepare to itself for his attack.

The door slams open,and you both turn to the door,and he’s there.

The blonde from the alleyway,Bakugo Katsuki.The leader of the opposing mafia,Fiero.

“I see you started without me again,Deku,”he growls annoyed.

Izuku smiles to him and bows,”Hello,*Kacchan*,”he says to the blonde,”i was only starting to talk,nothing more”He says,bringing the green light back into himself.

“You better fucking have been.”

He walks to the couch and plops down,he takes a necklace out of his pocket and tosses it to you.As you catch it,you realize,it’s your brothers.

Tears in your eyes you looked at him”is he...is he dead?”Your heart thumped loudly.

Izuku walks beside Katsuki,kneeling on the floor beside him.Katsuki puts his hand into his green hair,slowly petting him.

“He’s alive,for now.”

For now?you think.

You put the necklace beside the matching one you wore,”Where is he?”

“With the half n half bastard.Rouging him up more”He says to you with a villainous smile.

#fanfiction #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha kirishima #katsuki x izuku #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #deku #mha izuku #midoriya izuku #todoroki shōto #shoto torodoki #todoroki x reader #first story post

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theycallmemoosey · 5 years

Text

30 Years

Dan x plus size!Reader

A/N: Another fic in two days of my last one? Holy shit that must be a new record. I combined two requests into one (one was a plus size reader and the other was the plot) because I could not think of a plot for the plus size request and I thought that the second request was so goddamn funny that I just had to combine the two. I also just have to mention that I am plus size so this was a story very close to home (I have tried to share a twin sized bed with someone and honest to god was the most uncomfortable thing - especially because I’m so big). Thank you to the two anonymous peeps who sent in the requests. Enjoy!! Moose :)

--------------------------------------

“Do I look ok?” You asked, pulling at your dress as you stared into the mirror of your wardrobe, conscious of the way it stuck to your curves.

“Perfect” Dan said as he walked up to your worried form, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder. He looked up to the mirror and locked eyes with you, smiling, “You always look perfect, Y/N”

You frowned, “This is as far as I go. The dress is crossing the line alone, so there is no way I’m wearing heels. I’m sorry, I’m not. I’m wearing converse”

“Finished?” Dan laughed, letting you go to allow you to get your shoes that were carelessly thrown in a corner of the room, “It will be fine, love. Just a few hours of talking to your family and then we’ll head back to the hotel and crash”

“About that…”

“What? What have you done?” Dan asked, grabbing a jacket draped over the ass chair.

“Well…my mum asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her the next day and…I may or may not have agreed to stay at my parent’s house”

“Y/N!” He whined, beginning to button his jacket up.

“I’m sorry!”

“I just wanted to spend the night with you watching shit TV, eating a shit ton of sweets, chocolate and popcorn and-“

“I know, I know…I’m sorry. I wanted that too! I just…couldn’t tell her no. We can still watch Netflix at my parents’ house together?”

Dan frowned and sighed, “It’s a good thing I love you”

You smiled and kissed him, heading out to grab your bag from the hallway, “If we want to get to the dinner on time, we need to leave in the next 15 minutes. We can pick up lunch on the way”

“Ok. I’ll just go and say bye to Phil and then we’ll get going”

—————————

“I don’t think I can go in” you voice was laced with panic as you sat in the car with Dan, looking straight ahead at the door to the hall where your parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary.

“Why?”

“I don’t feel comfortable. I haven’t seen half the people in there since I was 8. And I have put on quite a bit of weight since then. OK, a lot of weight…”

“And? Why does that matter?”

You looked at Dan, your eyes showing fear and he sighed, “You look absolutely beautiful. So what if you’re not stick thin? I don’t care. And neither should anyone in there”

“One comment about my weight from anyone, and I mean even my Aunt, we’re leaving”

“Understood” Dan chuckled, getting out the car quickly to help you out.

As the two of you walked towards the door, your Aunt had spotted you through the window and rushed to greet you first.

“Y/N!” She screamed, crushing you in the tightest hug you’ve ever had, “It has been so long! My have you grown! Put on a few extra pounds too!”

You looked over to Dan with a knowing and unamused look, scowling as he laughed breathily.

“Thanks” you cleared your throat, trying not to snap at her comment, “How have you been?”

“Fantastic, thank you. I’ve joined the local rock choir”

“That’s-that’s great” you smiled , knowing how badly her voice sounds.

“Now, who’s this you’ve bought along with you today? I’ve not seen you before” she smirked at Dan, making both of you uncomfortable.

“Dan, pleasure to meet you” he offered his hand but she embraced him in a tight hug, his expression matching yours.

“Please, come in, join the party!” She motioned towards the house, dragging Dan by his hand as you stifled a laugh behind him. When the three of you had entered again, your uncle called your aunt over to talk to other members of the family. She groaned and turned back to Dan, squeezing his hand.

“I hope to be seeing more of you, Daniel” she winked before leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m so sorry” you laughed, holding onto his arm as he laughed along with you.

“You see her often?”

“Nope”

“Thank fuck”

You chuckled, watching your aunt make questionable faces towards the two of you, “Come on, let’s go find my mum and dad”

—————————

“I would like to propose a toast” your dad announced as he stood up from his chair, the rest of the room quieting down, “To my wife. I have loved every minute of these 30 years being your husband. We have had the most beautiful daughter, who has clearly inherited all your good looks. All I can wish for is another perfect 30 years with you. To 30 years more!”

“30 years more!” The room repeated, the sound of clinking glasses filling the room. You smiled when your dad leant down to kiss your mum, the two of them smiling lovingly at each other.

“Think that will be us in 30 years?” A voice whispered in your ear, careful that your grandmother was sat right next to you who was more than desperate for you to marry and have children.

You turned your head to look at him, a smug smile on his face, “You’d want that?”

“More than anything”

“Is that a proposal?”

Dan opened his mouth in a speechless shock at his realisation which made you laugh, “I’m kidding”

Dan laughed nervously, leaning back and scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah I knew that”

“Mmhm, sure you did”

“Ladies and gentlemen” the band’s singer announced, “May everyone come to the dance floor for the lovely couple’s 30th first dance!”

Dan took your hand and led you to the edge of the dance floor, standing behind you with his hand on your waist as the two of you watched your parents lovingly dance together.

“I love you so much” Dan whispered into your ear, kissing behind it quickly and squeezing your waist, “I love you so much that I want to show you off to the world”

“Hmm? What?” You asked, only just focusing on what he was saying rather than watch your parents dance to the band’s slow song.

“Come on, hun” he said, moving around in front of you to drag you to the centre of the floor to meet your parents. You resisted and pulled your hand back, your eyes wide with fear.

“No. No way. I’m not dancing in front of all these people!” You shouted in a hushed tone, not wanting to draw attention to the two of you.

“Is this because you’re insecure?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you and trying to pull you onto the floor.

“Dan, I am not dancing with you when no one else is”

“Your parents are”

“Everyone will see me!”

“That’s the point” he smiled widely, starting to sway with you wrapped in your arms. You started to smile with him, giving into his cheeky attitude.

Dan had finally dragged you to the centre, smiling when you wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him gently, “Say, you’re pretty good at dancing, Mr.Howell. I’m very impressed”

“Despite what you may think, I have some hidden talents”

You saw the rest of the crowd look at you from the edge of the dance floor and you began to feel trapped. You cleared your throat and looked towards Dan’s feet, creating some distance between the two of you.

“Hey, woah…what are you doing?”

“Nothing” you said, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Stop. Stop feeling like this. You are the most beautiful woman in the room tonight-no-World. I want everyone to look at how beautiful you are and know how god damn lucky I am to call you mine”

“You don’t have to pity me like that, Dan”

“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t deserve to have you, yet here I am with this goddess of a human. Yes, you have a few curves but oh my god does that make me love you more. I have fallen in love with your curves more than I’ve fallen in love with you”

“Oh, charming Daniel” you chuckled, trying to hide your blush.

“I’m kidding. But I hope you know what I mean”

“I do” you smiled, “I love you too”

Dan pulled you in tighter and kissed you, not letting you pull back or move away from him which made the two of you laugh.

“I want to go home” you mumbled in Dan’s ear when he finally let you go.

“As soon as your parents want to go home, we’ll escape”

“I can’t wait to just relax and watch Netflix and eat crap food and-“

“All in good time, just keep dancing”

—————————

“Y/N?” Your mum placed her hands on your shoulders, waking you up from the short nap you were having on your on Dan’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry we kept you so long. We’re going to take off now so we can finally let you in to the house. You remember the way home from here?”

“We have sat nav. We’ll find it” you smiled, still sleepy, Dan placing his hand on yours.

“You two go now, we’re just going to thank the staff and band and we’ll be right behind you”

“We’ll see you in 30” Dan said, helping you up from your chair in your sleepy slumber, “You ok to drive, hun?”

“Find me some sweets and I’ll be good to go”

“I saved some from earlier, they’re in the car”

“This is why I love you”

Dan laughed as he led you towards the car, his fingers laced in yours. The drive was in a comfortable silence, Dan’s hands placed on your thigh, his thumb stroking it gently.

“Got a movie in mind for tonight?” He asked, breaking the silence.

You glanced over towards Dan momentarily, smiling at his childish grin, “What makes you think I want to watch a movie? What if I want to watch Friends?”

“No”

“Oh, come on! I love friends!”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve watched all the series 5 times with me alone, which says it all! I refuse to watch it again”

“Fine. We’ll just watch whatever is trending I guess”

“Don’t be mad”

“I’m not. Just…so tired” you yawned, drumming the steering wheel to keep yourself awake.

“Just a few more minutes” he grabbed your hand and kissed it gently.

The rest of the drive home was simple but you felt yourself falling asleep at the wheel and you couldn’t wait to just go to bed. Dan tried his best to keep you awake, and to some extent he was successful, as you both ended up at your parents house alive. It wasn’t long after that your parents arrived at home, apologising for their late arrival.

“I’m sure you two are exhausted so just head up to your old room, Y/N” your mother pointed up to the stairs, focusing on hanging all the coats on the rack.

“Don’t misbehave now” your dad joked, still slightly tipsy from the large amount of alcohol he had at the party, making you and Dan cringe and laugh in an awkward manner.

“If you need anything, just help yourself. You know where everything is, Y/N”

“Goodnight guys. Get dad in bed safely” your whispered to your mum as you kissed her goodnight.

“Sleep well you two” your mother said as you and Dan carried your bags to your old room.

You sighed as you climbed the stairs, listening to your dad slur out drunk comments to your mum which made her laugh.

“I swear if we’re even half as happy as your parents when we’re old and grey, then we’ve won at life” Dan whispered behind you as you finally reached your old bedroom door.

“I was kinda hoping we’ll be double as happy” you smiled, walking in to the teenage bedroom. The sight made the two of you stop in your tracks and stare open mouthed at your room.

“Oh my-“ you began, stopping when you heard Dan burst into a fit of laughter behind you, “This is far from funny, Daniel”

“It looks like a 12 year olds room!”

“Well they clearly haven’t changed it since I moved out” you sighed, throwing your bag onto the floor in frustration.

“And when did you move out?”

“When I was 18”

“HOLY SHIT!” Dan laughed, backing away from you as you tried to slap his arm.

“I think we have a slightly bigger issue than the atrocity that is this room”

“What?” Dan continued to giggle, wiping away the tears from his eyes. You pointed towards the twin sized bed.

“That. It is, in no way shape or form, going to fit both of us”

“Oh…” Dan finally stopped laughing, “Oh well. Guess you’ll just have to sleep on top of me then”

You deadpanned towards him, “Ok what you said before wasn’t that funny but THAT certainly wasn’t”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny”

“Dan, we both won’t fit. I am too big to sleep either next to you in that bed or on top of you. I will literally crush you. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to find my boyfriend is dead from suffocation because his fat ass girlfriend cut off his air supply from squashing him to death!”

Dan stared at you sadly for a minute, making you feel awkward as ever.

“Do you really feel that bad about yourself?” He asked after a minute, “You really think of yourself as that fat that you can’t sleep in the same bed as me? You think you’ll suffocate me?”

“I always think that” You said solemnly, looking at the floor.

“Even at home?”

“Even at home”

Dan sighed sadly and stepped forward, carefully taking you into his arms. With his arms wrapped around you, you rested your head on his chest and started to cry quietly.

“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I would not change any part of you if I could. Every single inch of you is perfect. Never, ever change”

You looked up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks, “You really really think that?”

“Yes, love” he kissed your forehead, “I always have done. From the moment I met you until the moment I die, I will always think that you’re the most beautiful thing on this earth”

“I don’t deserve you. You’re so kind and pretty and-“

“I’m not pretty. I am nothing compared to you”

“You are pretty. With your perfect curls and your perfect eyes and your perfect body”

“I’ll gain all the weight if that would make you feel better”

“Oh god, please don’t. Like, yes, eat pizza with me but keep this” you laughed, motioning towards his body, “I love this”

“And I love this” he motioned towards yours, kissing your hand and making his way up your arm to your lips, “Come on, get changed and let’s watch Friends”

“Really?” You asked excitedly.

“Yes, really” he smiled down at you, grabbing your bag and flinging it on the tiny bed, “Now hurry up and get that beautiful body changed”

“This isn’t going to work” you laughed quietly, once you were changed, as you tried to squeeze into your old bed, aware your mum was trying to get your dad to sleep, “Dan this is literally impossible. I am not going to fit in next to your 7ft fat ass!”

“I’m 6’3, Y/N”

“Still a giant”

You sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling Dan wrap his arm around your torso as you shuffled in next to him. Luckily, both your asses fit next to each other but you had to wrap your legs around each other.

“This is cozy” Dan mumbled into your hair, kissing your head gently.

“Shut up and get your laptop out” you said, trying to get into a comfortable position.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence in a not so comfortable position, watching the six people you had admired since your teenage years with the love of your life. As the night went on, you managed to find a comfortable position with your head on Dan’s chest and your body curled into his. His arm was tightly wrapped around your body, and he kissed your forehead when he noticed that you had fallen asleep. Carefully and slowly, he placed the laptop on the desk next to your bed and shuffled down, trying to not wake you up as he tried to also fall asleep in a comfortable position. Despite the fact that neither of you really fit in the same bed and you both felt beyond uncomfortable, the two of you fell asleep peacefully wrapped in each others arms. When Dan woke up the next morning, he smiled at your beautiful face laying on his chest, your breathing slow and steady. He could only wish that he would wake up like this everyday next to you for the next 30 years.

#dan x reader #dan howell #dan howell imagine #dan howell x reader #danisnotonfire #danisnotinteresting #danandphilgames #danandphil imagine #danandphil #dan and Phil #Phil lester #amazingphil #reader insert #theycallmemoosey

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 6 years

Text

Qi Flows for Her

Chapter Three

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes | Word Count: 5296 Warnings: Swearing and angst

Celine sniffled softly as she unpacked her clothes. Crying never solved anything, just drained her more and gave her a headache.

She shouldn't be here. Charles should have sent someone else. It should have been Kitty or Storm. Hell, any of them would have been better than her. How was she ever to build relations between the two factions when the majority of her new teammates looked at her with suspicion?

And then her foolish pride had gotten the better of her. She never should have told the Black Widow her name. The agitation would only grow now. Steve and Bucky would look at her with distrust. Peter would fear her. No one would be comfortable in her presence.

Yet, here she stood, suitcase open, unpacking. Feared or not, she had a job to do. She could not go home until Charles allowed it. She was stuck here in her metal cage, and she was starving.

How ironic.

All those people, all that lifeforce, and she couldn't even touch it. The cramps had not been this intense in years. So much energy wasted. Had she been able to plant her shield and ground her force, the truck would have smashed into it and stopped. Instead, it had plowed straight into her, knocking loose the hold she'd had on her chi, allowing it to dissipate back into the universe instead of drawing it into her body. Add in the energy used to heal her broken ribs and shattered hip, it felt as if she hadn't fed in weeks.

Clamping a hand to her stomach, she bent nearly double in pain. If she wasn't able to leave to hunt, if all she could do was feed off the negative, she would have to be much more careful. Damaging her body would cause her chi to deteriorate so much faster.

They better learn to trust me quickly… Celine sighed, if they didn't, she could get very sick, very fast. Living on negative emotions was like eating a diet of fast food. It sustained her, but it sure wasn't good for her.

Already she missed the heightened state of the school. The sexual tension which ran rampant. Even the thought of it made her salivate. The school was like a smorg of delightful treats. She was always well fed off the rowdy state of the hormonal teenagers.

Here, it was too quiet. What close energy was available was tense, her doing she knew, volatile and fluctuating, but with so few bodies around, and all teammates, she couldn't even take a tentative sip. The hunger filled her with such despair, to the point she’d almost given in to the tears when a knock at the door thrust her back into the real world.

Celine swiped at her face and went to open it, revealing a rather angry looking Barnes. “Sergeant?”

“I already told you it's Bucky.” He frowned, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“Something you need?” Had they sent him to get rid of her?

A large, warm hand cupped her cheek. “Dollface, are you okay?”

Shocked, she jerked against his hand. “I'm fine,” Celine whispered, walking away before the tears fell for a whole new reason, but she left the door open.

“No, you ain’t,” he stated, taking the open door as the invitation to enter it was. “Don't let what Nat said get you down. She's overprotective.”

“It is Natasha for whom you should worry. You should all fear for your lives. Is that not the sensible thing to do when faced with the bogeyman?”

He snorted in derision. “Celine, I was the bogeyman for 60 years. You don't scare me.”

She slammed her hand down on the back of the sofa. “Why? Why don't I scare you? I scare everyone once they know, once they figure out I'm Styx. I know Natasha told you. She was itching to the moment I told her.”

“So why tell her?”

“She made me angry!” Celine cried. “It is like being the new kid at school all over again! Pecking order! Pecking order! Who fits where? Who is the most powerful? Who's dick is biggest!” She threw her hands up in anger and winced when her back spasmed. “I want no part of it!” Tears of both pain and anger burned her eyes, and she thrust her palms against them, forcing herself to calm down. “This is why I work alone.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she crossed her arms over her stomach and stared at the carpet. “Forgive me. I am not usually so… reactive.”

“You have every right to be.”

Steve's voice coming from the open doorway made her wince. Now both had been witness to her meltdown. “It does not justify purposely instigating something with Ms. Romanoff. I usually have better control than this.” Celine shook her head. “I should phone Charles. Make other arrangements.”

“No!” They said together.

She darted a glance up and would have taken a step back if not for the sofa behind her. They stood before her, very close, completely silent in their approach. It startled her. Not many could sneak up on her in such a way.

“You wanna get outta here, Celine?” Steve asked.

“I thought I was under house arrest?”

“Who's to say we can't go out with you? That constitutes supervision.” Bucky grinned smugly at Steve.

“Really?” she whispered, shocked by their kindness. Guilt mixed with a touch of pity flared in both their auras. Perhaps she'd sounded a little desperate.

“Ya, doll. We never did get to eat, and there's a great pizza place not far.” Steve nodded toward the door.

“I would love that!” Perhaps she could convince them to walk with her, maybe slip into a club where she could feed.

“Just out and back though. Early start tomorrow.”

Steve's words set her heart plummeting. Still, it was out, and she'd make it work. “Great! A small outing in the city is better than nothing when you're new,” she agreed.

Both looked at her lips then quickly away, and she toned down her allure. They just made it so easy. They were edible, and she didn't mean only their energy.

***

The pizza was, indeed delicious, and she’d relished every bite. Though it filled the void, it did nothing to abate her hunger. While laughing softly at what Steve and Bucky had to say, she paid close attention to the patrons in the restaurant.

It was quite busy, and they were quite famous, but nobody paid them any mind. Both men did an adequate job of hiding their identities. Steve had tossed on a ball cap and black-framed glasses, and a pulse had driven to life in her center for he looked nerd sexy all of a sudden. Celine didn’t really have a preference when it came to sex appeal, but she had to admit, Steve made nerdy look hot.

Bucky, too, had thrown on a ball cap, tucking his hair up beneath it. It left the sleek cut of his jaw on display. The nice long arch of his throat with the stubble of his well past five o’clock shadow had her wondering what it would be like to kiss him there. Lick him there. Bite down and nibble under his jaw where his pulse hammered and the chi flowed strongly.

She was so intent on the two soldiers who were regaling her with tales of the war and their time as Howling Commandos, she almost missed her opportunity. When the large man, thick with muscle, stood to his feet and headed for the bathroom, Celine stood up as well.

“Little girl’s room?” she asked casually.

“Oh, uh, back there.” Steve motioned, a touch flustered.

She patted his shoulder and sauntered away, continuing to think him utterly adorable in his moments of shyness. Once she made it to the hallway, she reached out with her senses to ascertain whether the men’s room was empty of all but the big man. Finding it clear, she snuck inside and turned the lock with a quiet click.

“Uh, lady? Wrong room,” said the man struggling to tuck and zip.

“I don’t think so,” Celine purred, unleashing her allure on him. Her skin gleamed, her eyes glowed, and her hair took on a distinct wave as she glided across the floor toward him. “You want me.”

His eyes had already grown dark with lust. “Yah, look at you.” His aura spiked with pinks and reds, blues and greens.

“Do you lust for me?” she crooned, sitting on the edge of the sink and hiking her dress up her thighs.

“Ya, fuck yeah.” He half walked, half stumbled toward her.

Celine drew him between her legs and fogged his mind further, holding him still as she slipped inside his vision. “Show me what you want,” she whispered and stroked her hand gently down his chest.

She watched the desire play out in his mind. One which consisted of him dropping his pants and fucking her hard and wild against the sink. Feeding it, she laced more lust, more moans, more heat into his vision. As he approached his peak, his body still and unmoving before her while his mind did all the work, Celine opened her eyes. His aura was the perfect colour as she urged his release closer.

“That’s it, that’s right, baby. You’re such a good fuck. So hot and hard. What a nice dick you have.”

He groaned, and his hips jerked in the real world as she began to feed. It was pleasurable for her partner. Even as their energy was siphoned away, when done so in lust with their mind active elsewhere, it felt euphoric. It was not so when she was working and fed on fear.

Still, his taste was everything she’d hoped for, and she sipped gently, taking only what she needed to abate her hunger and no more, knowing it would still leave him weak and a little lethargic.

She rested her hand against his cock, hard and throbbing in his jeans, and rubbed him gently through his pants. It wasn’t something she usually did, but he was so tasty he deserved a little something extra. “You going to come, baby?”

“Fuck…” he groaned.

Celine sipped slowly, squeezed him firmly, and felt him swell and erupt beneath her palm. She drank in his final explosion of energy which came with his release, revelling in the sweet ambrosia. “Oh, baby. You’re so good to me,” she moaned, feeling a hundred percent better.

While he panted and quaked against the counter, she slipped off the sink, tweaked his memory of her slightly, and walked to the door. “Thanks, baby. Don’t forget to clean yourself up,” she called as she checked for people in the hall. Finding no one, she turned the lock, peeked through and darted out to head back toward her table.

She smiled brightly as she slid in beside Bucky. “Dessert?”

Steve eyed her questioningly before leaning closer. “You look better. Have a little pick-me-up while you were back there?”

“A lady never tells,” she grinned, tapping the side of her nose.

“If you were hungry, Celine after what happened in the garage you could have told us.” Bucky’s eyes and voice were full of accusation. “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us the truth.”

Celine looked down at her hands. “I…” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I lost a great deal of strength when I was unable to ground against the pickup. I lost my connection to my chi.”

“You mean how it blew up like fireworks instead of how you pulled it back in during the demo?” Steve asked.

She arched a brow and gave a wry smile. “How observant of you.”

“It’s what I do.” Steve shrugged as he pulled out his wallet and tossed bills on the table. “Let’s take a walk. I think you’ve got some explaining to do.”

As they stood to leave, she noticed the man she’d fed on saunter back out to his table. There was a goofy smirk on his face, and he flopped down beside his friends where he chugged most of a glass of water. Good. He’d be fine, likely boast about his prowess and the woman who’d jumped his bones in the bathroom.

She walked out quickly, not needing her two teammates to hear the sordid details of his apparent tryst. They were clearly highly intelligent and observant men. She’d need to be careful in the future.

“So,” Steve said, placing his hand on her back. “Explain this to us.”

Celine did her best to ignore the heat which washed over her with his touch. It stoked a flame to life, one fed by the hum of the sexual energy she’d absorbed. Wetness grew between her legs and dampened her underwear. She hadn’t even grown warm with the man in the bathroom, but Steve’s casual touch lit her on fire.

Then, Bucky’s fingers closed around her elbow.

The second point of contact nearly made her moan. Not good, not good. She’d never been so attracted to anyone as she was these two. These two soldiers, a step out of time, being the gentlemen they were raised to be, performing this intrinsic dance of touch and guide which wasn’t present in today’s society turned her on something fierce. If she didn’t get out from under their caress soon, she was going to do something highly inappropriate.

Gently removing her elbow from Bucky’s grasp, she stepped away from Steve and turned to face them. “You are both quite tactile.”

“Is that a problem, doll face?” Bucky asked.

They looked at her like hunting wolves. Like starving wolves, and she was a fat, juicy lamb. She wasn’t even trying, her appeal nearly non-existent, yet they looked like they could lick their lips at any moment.

Celine looked away. “Sometimes.”

“Hands to ourselves. Got it,” Steve said with a nod, motioning for her to continue down the sidewalk.

She flinched at the hurt in his aura. It hadn’t come through in his voice, but she could still feel it. With a sigh, she held out her hands, one to each. When they only raised a brow, appearing even more like brothers, she shook her hands impatiently. “Just give!”

Both large hands engulfed hers, and she jerked them into the alley.

“I will explain this only once and do not need an audience. Feeding heightens my senses. You two oversized soldiers radiate energy like the sun. Touching you afterward feels like this.” Channelling her chi into her hands, Celine gave them both a jolt. While it contained none of the desire she was suffering from and little of the sexual residue she’d fed on, it would feel like holding a live wire to someone unused to it.

“Fuck!” Bucky hissed, gloved hand landing on the wall beside him.

“Damn, Celine.” Steve’s hand tightened.

Celine yanked hers away and stepped swiftly backward. “At those times, it’s best you do not touch me.”

“Roger that,” they said together, looking a little shell-shocked.

She walked out of the alley with the two men to either side of her, close but no longer touching her. It was a relief and a disappointment. She liked the comfort of their touch. Physical touch was something sorely lacking in her repertoire.

Charles had always been casual about touching her hand or arm, but it wasn’t as if he was a hugger. Rogue couldn’t touch anyone without being completely covered, and Logan was so not touchy-feely. The rest… preferred she didn’t try. But both Steve and Bucky had been very casual about the whole thing, touching her back or arm. Bucky had even touched her face.

“Celine?”

“Yeah, right.” She jerked her thoughts back to the present as they walked along the busy street and crossed at the light to walk through the streetlamp lit paths of Central Park where the pedestrians thinned out at this late hour. “I wasn’t able to ground my power earlier. Chi is life energy. It’s everywhere though I can only absorb it from other people. When my shield went up, I wasn’t fast enough to get it grounded, tied into the strength of the earth. The truck was a much bigger projectile than say a bullet. A flick of the wrist and I can stop a bullet with ease. Had I got my shield grounded, it would have been as solid as a wall. The truck would have stopped as if it had hit one. Instead, it was not quite complete, and it came through the shield and hit me.”

“You said you… lost your connection with your chi?”

She glanced at Bucky. “Yes. I redirect energy. So I pull it from within to use it out here,” she made a vague motion indicating the outer world, “then, draw it back inside. Because I was momentarily stunned I… let go… I guess would be the best explanation, of my energy. Like holding a tiger by the tail. You release it, it’s going to run away.”

“I see.”

Looking up at Steve, she smiled. He was nodding, a look of intrigue on his face.

“Once I came to, my body healed itself using my reserves. Had I managed to hold onto my chi, I would not have needed to feed, but…” She shrugged and trailed off.

“So you lied when you said you were fine in the garage.” Harsh eyes glared at her, and another accusation fell from Bucky’s lips.

Stopping, she looked between the two of them when they turned to glare at her. “Physically I was mostly fine.”

“What’s mostly mean?” Steve demanded.

“I had some bruises left.”

“And before you did your healing trick?” Bucky snarled softly.

Celine frowned. “That, Sergeant, is none of your business.”

“As Captain of this team it sure as shit is mine!” Steve barked.

“As the outcast of this team, I’m perfectly fine with keeping it to myself!” Celine shouted.

Both jerked like she’s slapped them. “Now wait one damn minute!”

“No, you wait!” she snapped, pointing at Bucky. “I have taken care of my own shit since I was five years old! I don’t need two overgrown nannies getting all up in my business. I got hurt, I healed, I fed. End of story.”

“We’re not trying to get up in anything,” Steve said. “We’re your teammates, we’d like to be your friends, but you’re sure not making this easy, doll.”

Stunned, Celine stepped back. “You… you don’t know me. You can’t… you can’t… I don’t have friends. Two substitute father figures and a sister, yes, but I don’t have friends. You can’t be my friends. I can’t have friends!”

Panic filled her, overwhelming and breath-stealing, and Celine ran into the dark night. Ran for the comfort of shadows and silence. Ran beneath the silver light of the moon she was named for. It’s beams coated her in cool light, seeming to try to appease the raging pain inside her.

Her nature changed with her brokenness, hair twisting into coils deepening into a black which rivalled the night sky. She ran until she reached the edge of a large lake, finally stopping at the water line. Barefoot, having lost her shoes in her mad flee, Celine walked into the water and let the cold soothe the fire in her blood.

Pain, anger, despair, all raged inside her. The past which haunted her became her present, forcing her to relive old, painful memories, and she lifted her hands, buried her fingers in her hair and wailed. Just screamed to the sky. The inhuman sound filled the air and rang through the silence. It was as beautiful and haunting as she was.

It killed her, her inability to be anything but alluring.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “Why, Charles? Why me?” Falling to her knees, she plunged her hands into the water.

***

She was fast, they’d give her that, but she was also glowing like a candle between the trees.

He had no idea what he’d said to scare her, but Steve wasn’t about to let the woman go. In an instant, she’d gone from angry to perplexed to terrified. It killed him to know it was his words which had sent her fleeing like a deer.

Knowing they were approaching the lake, they split a few feet apart, determined to stop Celine from escaping down the shoreline. They were so well versed in the others moves, he and Bucky slowed at the same time without bothering to check with the other, walking silently from the trees as a very different looking Celine walked into the water.

Stunned, Steve could only stare in amazement.

Vision had said Styx was the name of a goddess from Greek mythology. He could see how Celine had acquired her name.

The lush, straight hair which usually fell down her back had become thick, black curls. They seemed to shimmer with sparkles of light. The night sky and stars above were reflected in those locks. Her skin had grown milk pale, the same silver as the moonlight. When her hands lifted, he noticed her nails were long and dark, as black as her hair. It was a startling contrast to the unpainted ones he’d remembered seeing at dinner. But it was hearing her scream, the sound a howl of a wounded creature, so hauntingly beautiful, like a wolf baying to the moon, which ripped open his heart.

Glancing at Bucky, he was certain his face reflected the same look of anguish and determination. Steve was quick to stride forward, managing to catch her whispered words. They broke his heart all over again. When Buck had said she was broken, he hadn’t really believed it. How could a woman who was so damn beautiful be broken? But he should have known. One wounded soul could always recognize another and looks mean little to what was buried on the inside.

Her collapse into the water sent him lurching forward. “Celine, baby, no.”

She looked up, and he fell into her eyes. “Wow…” Fully gold, they were what he imagined a goddess’s eyes would look like.

“Don’t!” She jerked her face away. “Don’t look at me!” Her cheeks were wet with tears.

Steve ignored the way she curled in on herself and lifted her up, half dragging, half carrying her from the water. Once on the shore, he cupped her face. “Why wouldn’t I look at you? You’re beautiful, Celine.”

“I know!” she wailed, the sound heartbreaking a second time. She jerked away only to run smack into Bucky.

He grabbed her by the elbows. “Easy, doll… face… whoa,” he murmured, stroking her hair back behind her ear.

“Please, don’t…” she begged, voice full of despair. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt us?” Steve asked, stepping closer, caging her between the two of them.

“It’s in my nature…” she whispered. “I hurt you, or you hurt me. It’s my curse. Like my face.”

Placing his hands on her waist, Steve leaned into her back. A shudder wracked her spine, and a whimper left her throat. “You’re not going to hurt us, Celine, and we would never hurt you. Ain’t that right, Buck?”

Bucky shook his head and lifted her arms up to wrap around his neck. “Never,” he agreed, leaning forward to press her further into Steve, holding the broken woman between them. “You don’t scare us, darlin’. You’re not big enough,” he chuckled softly.

“I could kill you both in an instant, and there is nothing you could do to stop me,” she whispered.

“Would you?” Steve asked, sliding a hand around her waist to hold her tighter.

“No.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Bucky asked.

She looked up, and Steve watched the awe wash over his best friend’s face. “That is the problem,” she whispered. Then, her bright candle glow went out.

Steve startled and stepped back, shocked at his forwardness. Bucky, too, looked stunned when she pulled away.

Celine’s smile was sad, her posture small and full of guilt. She was back to the beauty she’d been from the first, but the goddess who’d fallen to her knees in the lake was gone. “Thank you, for wanting to be my friend, but I… I can’t. It’s best if we are, simply, teammates. Forgive me my outburst. I promise to be much more professional come morning.”

“What… what just…?” Bucky scrubbed a hand over his mouth.

She wouldn’t look at them and twisted her fingers together. “It’s my nature.”

Steve couldn’t read auras, but he didn’t need to, to see the pain wash over Celine. “Celine.” She finally lifted her head, and his heart shattered. He’d never seen such brokenness, such absolute desolation in someone’s eyes before.

“I’m tired, Cap. Lost and filthy. Can we just forget this happened?” Her amber eyes pleaded for understanding.

He would give it… for now. “Sure, Celine.” He reached for her, watched her recoil, and felt pain pierce what was left of his heart. “You’re gonna wreck your feet, doll. You want me to forget this, then let me help you.”

She bit her lip, eyes downcast again, but gave a slow nod.

Not giving her a chance to change her mind, Steve slung her up in his arms. The stiffness of her body hurt him as much as the earlier rejection. A glance at Bucky showed he appeared just as devastated. “We’re gonna go in the back way.” He doubted she’d be impressed if anyone else saw her like this.

“Thank you,” she whispered, relaxing enough to rest her head on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, more pain ripping into his heart, and breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled like exotic spices. With a silent sigh, he nodded to Bucky and headed for the tower.

***

Celine sat on the floor of her shower and let the water run over her. She'd nearly done it again.

Friends…

She couldn't have friends. Friends turned on each other. Friends stabbed each other in the back. Friends eventually became enemies. In the end, enemies tried to kill you.

She hugged her knees and fought desperately against the memories trying to surface. Ones of laughter and camaraderie. Of happiness. Of first stolen kisses and fleeting touches. Of betrayal. Of accusations, anger, and pain. She couldn't let them surface. They were her past. This was her future. The two could not mingle. She couldn't, wouldn’t let history repeat itself. She'd caused too much pain the first time.

“Celine…”

The voice whispered in her mind. “Go away, Charles. You and I aren't currently speaking.”

“Went that well did it, darling?”

“You're a right git!”

“Celine, language,” he chastised gently.

“Why am I here, Charles? The truth! They don't want me, and I sure as shit don't belong.”

“You have spent too much time with Logan.”

“Charles, no games.” She was too tired for games.

A soft sigh fluttered in her brain. “There are things you must learn. The Avengers can teach them to you.”

“What things!?”

“If I told you that, how would you ever learn them for yourself?”

“That's a game, Professor!” she snapped.

“You cannot tell me they all don't want you?”

She cringed. “Yes, all. After tonight… all.” Steve and Bucky hadn't said a word, just deposited her before her door and walked away.

“Celine? Show me!” he demanded.

“Why should I?” She sounded like the petulant, pouting teenager she’d once been and knew it.

“Celine Ena!”

“Fine! You're so damn pushy!” She gave a heavy sigh and showed him her shame. His silence had her cringing.

“Ghealach beag,” he said quietly.

Love and comfort filled her mind. “Charles…” She sobbed into her hands. He hadn't called her little moon in years.

“You are too hard on yourself, Celine. The mistakes of your past are not ones you will make now. You know better. You're stronger.”

“I almost…” She shook her head, voice choked.

“No, you did not. You simply became Styx before them.”

“And they fell! I don't want to hurt them. Charles!” The cry was all despair and desperation.

“Give the Captain and the Sergeant more credit, Celine. They are not boys.”

“I won't take the chance! If I turned them against each other…”

“Celine,” he sighed.

Celine scrubbed at her face. “No. No, I'll do the job, Charles. I'll work with them, be part of the team, but I won't be more than that. I can't!” she cried, getting to her feet and turning off the water.

“Enfant obstiné,” he muttered.

“First the Gaelic and now French? You really are miffed at me.” And she wasn't a stubborn child.

“Yes, you are. Do not block them out, Celine.” His presence faded with the final warning.

“What do you know?” she huffed, both in indignation and frustration. He wasn't telling her something, clearly, but until Charles chose to speak, she would know nothing.

“Learn from the Avengers…” She almost snorted before catching sight of herself in the mirror. Her colour was off. “Fuck!” she hissed vehemently, reached for her reserves and sighed when she touched them.

She wasn't hungry yet, but she wasn't as replete as she had been after her snack at the pizza place. Another waste of energy, all that grief at the lake. This was why she preferred to be alone. Other people disconcerted her too much. Other people required effort and feelings.

She was out of her element. Floundering. If she didn't get it together and soon, this was all going to go up in flames around her.

Wrapping her hair in a towel, she went to get ready for bed, determined to block all the Avengers from her mind. Once she disconnected from them, she would be able to breathe.

***

Bucky sat brooding on the couch in Steve's room nursing a glass of whiskey which would do very little to him. It was a habit more than anything, but the fiery burn down his throat was a reminder of his past life. Drinking was not something HYDRA had allowed him, so he did it now as a symbolic fuck you.

Steve was sitting across from him, nursing his own glass, and brooding just as deeply.

“What the fuck just happened?” Bucky finally asked, unable to remain silent any longer.

“I don't know.” Steve sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “I scared her bad, Buck.”

“Don't think it was you, Steve, so much as something you touched on by accident.” He downed the rest of his glass, hissing at the burn in his throat. “She doesn't have friends. Maybe she did once. Maybe it went bad. Real bad if that's her reaction.”

“She didn't want us to look at her, either. For all Nat's talk about Styx, what I saw tonight was a woman who feared what she was.” Steve downed his own glass. “Maybe even hated it. When she was mad earlier, she'd said, I am a person, no matter how much my mutation has taken from me.”

Bucky grunted. “What the fuck happened in her past? Who the hell hurt her so badly?”

“I don't know, Buck. I don't know.”

“Taking care of my own shit since I was five years old.” He rested his elbows on his knees and bent over them. “Five, Jesus!” He couldn't even imagine what kind of life she'd had.

“It's my curse, like my face. What the hell is she that she’s so damn scared of herself? What is it she thinks she'll do?” Steve wondered.

As if on cue his phone rang. He frowned at the secure line but picked it up. “Rogers.”

“Captain.”

“Professor.” His eyes snapped to Bucky's as both of them sat up straight.

“I was hoping to speak with you for a moment about Celine.”

Wary, Steve said, “Alright.”

“I do hope she hasn't caused a commotion. She can be a bit… high strung.”

Steve felt himself bristle at the insinuation. “She's been nothing but professional,” he snapped.

“Excellent.” A sound of amusement filled Charles’ voice. “Her power is quite impressive. It tends to scare people.”

“Celine doesn't scare us.” Again he found the professor's words upsetting. Was this the kind of put down negative thinking she was subject to? Coming from someone, she'd labelled her surrogate father?

“Are you certain, Captain? I could always call her home. Replace her with another X-Men more … suitable?”

“Celine suits us fine. We want her as part of the Avengers. End of story.”

A chuckle was heard on the other end of the line. “Very well, Captain. Good night.”

He hung up, and Steve had the overwhelming desire to chuck his phone at the wall. But then, Maria would give him shit for breaking another one. “Fuck!” he swore instead, earning a raised brow from Bucky.

“This is some screwed up. I don't give a flyin’ fart what she said. I'm going to find a way through, Stevie. She needs friends.”

“She needs a real family.” Steve agreed. “We've got to stop looking at her like she's the enemy.”

“Starting tomorrow, we chip away at that wall of hers,” Bucky stated, getting to his feet.

“Yeah. I'm with you, pal.”

“Till the end of the line, punk,” Bucky said, heading for his own rooms.

Next Chapter

#qi flows for her #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #captain america #the winter soldier #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #the winter soldier fanfiction #Avengers #The Avengers #avengers au #avengers fanfiction #X-men #x-men au #x-men fanfiction #crossover

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yumenikkira · 3 years

Text

not a dream - surgery 08/09/21

i want to briefly write about my experience before the details leave my memory. im writing this on august 11th, 2 days later.

the morning on august 9th 2021, i woke up at 7:30 am and was driven to the hospital by my mother, with my sister accompanying me. i checked in with the staff in the hospital and we all waited together for about half an hour.

when my name was called, i went by myself to walk into the preoperative area, and said goodbye to my family. i walked with the nurse down the very long room.

i passed by a number of elderly people on their beds. it was a sort of uneasy feeling. each of these beds were surrounded with a long green curtain that could be drawn to isolate and hide the room. if i had to guess a number, i think there were only about 4 or 5 of these secluded rooms.

she lead me to my area, and asked me some questions. she had a unique name but im struggling to remember it... luss? she gave me clothes to change into, and closed the curtain so that i could change in private. i set all of my clothes into a plastic bag they supplied me. i wore long white compression socks, with brown cushioned socks on top. (apparently i put these socks on upside down) and a green open smock which closes in the back with ties.

after i was changed, more people came in to ask me questions. there were a lot of people coming in and out. the anesthesiologist was a kind, very old man named dr. rudolph. he just asked me medical questions. i believe another nurse, dana, asked me questions as well.

dr. buchanan, my surgeon, came into the room as well. i saw him earlier in an orange mask, (his company branding is orange) but at some point he had changed into a more surgical green mask. he had an assistant with him, a med student who was shadowing him. i undressed in front of dr. buchanan so that he could make markings on my chest.

it was a few minutes of him drawing on me with sharpie, and the three of us talked about unrelated things for a bit. it felt very casual and relaxed. i was not nervous at all yet. i asked dr if his other patients were usually nervous, and he said he had someone crying just the other day. i was feeling confident i wasnt going to cry. i asked him if he’d seen the movie repo. the dr hadnt, but the assistant did. it might be morbid to bring up that movie right before surgery, but it was on my mind.

after he was done, the dr left the room again. luss(?) and dana came back into the room. i lied back on the bed. i was talking to them about their nails, they both had nicely done nails. i told them i did gel nails for my family at home. dana said she had her nails done because she was going to see her granddaughter.

it was time to hook me up with the iv. im very nervous about needles, so i was looking away. dana talked to me while luss took care of the iv so i could take my mind off of it. the iv went into my hand, because thats a better position for the surgery. it hurt for a moment, but it quickly stopped bothering me. i thought it would have been more painful.

at this point, preperations were all in order. it was time to wheel me to the operating room. the two nurses brought up the bars on either side of the gurney bed and began to wheel me off towards another area behind swinging doors. at this point, i got really nervous, and i felt tears starting to form in my eyes, even though i was trying not to cry.

they wheeled me down a hallway, then into the operating room. i was on my back staring at the ceiling, so as i entered the operating room i saw very stark white, and knew exactly where i was. it felt eerie, and i was really scared. i never had surgery before.

things began to move very fast once i entered this room. they had me move myself off of the gurney onto the operating table. there were probably 6 or 7 people in the room moving around and preparing things, some of them asking me questions or moving me around preparing me. dr buchanan noticed i was crying. me took my hand and squeezed it while everything was getting ready. i thought about how this whole thing would be so much easier if i had a thing for getting cut open or something. LOL

dr buchanan told me people often dont remember being in the operating room at all, because the anesthesia causes memory loss. in my case, i remember it quite vividly. he gave me a code word to remember. the word was “butterfly”. ill tell him this when i see him again.

they placed an oxygen mask on me, which they said was oxygen and “something to help me relax”. evidently, that was the anesthesia. i was looking up at the surgeon and the anesthesiologist, attempting to talk to them a bit as i breathed through the mask. i felt myself getting slighty drowsy, but i wasnt feeling it very much. basically i was thinking, like, “this anesthesia aint shit”, but the next thing i knew i woke up back in the preoperative area, back on the gurney bed.

i think at this point it was about 6pm. id been in the operating room for the entire day. everything was very blurry and hazy. to be fair, i didnt have my glasses, so thats probably why, lol. i felt myself waking up, but it was still hard for me to speak. my speech was slurred. however, i still tried my best to talk to everyone as they came by. i remember seeing the surgeon, and he said everything went well and my new chest looks great.

a lot of the conversation i had at this point was very hazy. i think i must have put my clothes back on at some point? i believe it was luss as the last person there taking care of me. she helped me into a wheelchair and said my mom was on the way to pick me up. at this point, it seemed that mostly everyone had left, and just a few people were hanging around behind the desk in this area. she wheeled me out of the preop room and over next to the desk to wait for my mom. my phone was dead, so i just sat there and waited. i wasnt really in pain or anything, just bored. i was also bummed out because i wanted to take a post op selfie in the hospital. i should have taken more pictures beforehand, but i wasnt really thinking about it at the time.

eventually, my mom was there, and the nurse wheeled me out to the pickup area. another different nurse(?) there, a man, showed my mom how to drain my drains on either side. my chest in bandaged and under a surgical bra, with little drain bulbs on either side.

they helped me hoist myself into the car from my wheelchair. surprisingly, i felt really good. i still feel good, even now. my pain is very minimal, and im able to get up and walk around easily. im hoping the remainder of my recovery will be just as seemless.

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widowtracer-week · 6 years

Text

Gift for Overlookingtheworld

secret santa for @overlookingtheworld (hey ! i really really hope you’ll like it, i tried to follow your wishlist the best i could, so i hope it didnt get too explicit. anyway, i hope that you enjoy it and that you’ll spend a beautiful christmas eve/day, also i’m sorry if there are any mistakes english isnt my first language. merry christmas !)

Her feet were barely touching the ground as she zipped through the night, panting, leaving nothing but a blue trail behind her. Blood was dripping down her chin, she brushed the back of her hand against her cheek as she turned around, making sure he wasn’t following her. “Fuck”, she tripped, landing on the thick layer of snow covering the streets in this cold December night.

She knew she should’ve stayed home, she knew it, and still. Somehow she’d thought it was a good idea. After all, it was Christmas Eve, they wouldn’t expect her there. She’d planned everything : all she had to do is to find a way into Talon’s lair, sneak into Sombra’s quarters and look for any kind of information she could gather without alerting the hacker. Well, the last part was probably the trickiest one but she figured since they wouldn’t be here anyway, it would give her some time to find a way to get at least something. And maybe she could even take a look at their quarters, that’d be enough information already. All she had to do was to be careful, and avoid their cameras and sensors, but she already had an idea of their whereabouts, so she wasn’t that worried about getting caught. Plus, it’s not like she had better stuff to do tonight.

She loved everything about Christmas : the pine tree filling the living room with its very distinct smell, the lights and baubles hanging down its branches, the whole town being slowly covered in snow, the music, the food, everything. But mostly, she loved how it could bring so many people together. As if life had been paused. And god knew she needed it, more than anyone else - breakdown after breakdown, she felt like nothing could prevent her from falling apart once again, if it wasn’t for Christmas. They had everything planned out, they’d spend the evening together at their quarters, Angela and Fareeha would cook for them, and she’d decorate the tree with Hana and Lucio. Then they’d sit in the living room and open their presents, celebrate together, enjoy this one night where they could simply rest, without having to worry about tomorrow.

And maybe she could even sneak out for a moment, just to meet with her. Nobody would notice. They’d have just this moment together.

She didnt ask for much, and still, even this one night she couldnt have.

Talon attacked their headquarters a few days ago, and they werent ready to withstand another push. They didnt last long, and although Talon didnt manage to pass through their forces, they managed to damage them deeply enough for them to draw back. Many had been injured and, obviously, Christmas Eve had been cancelled, most of them needing more than a few days of rest to get back on feet.

Yet, Lena hadn’t been touched a single time. How come ? Just to think about it made her hate herself even more, and that was probably the reason why she decided to invade Talon’s lair, all on her own, on December 24th. That day, something had kept her from fighting alongside her friends, and that something was the reason why they lost.

Her hands were buried in the snow, she was sitting there, on the ground, staring at the bloody stains she left after falling. All she could see was a pair of eyes, golden, piercing through the night, through her mind, she shook her head. She couldnt let her distract her again.

Sneaking into their headquarters wasnt easy, but it wasn’t something Lena “Tracer” Oxton couldn’t do. Once she had found her way into what seemed to be Sombra’s quarters, she’d started looking around for whatever she could find that’d help her and her friends put an end to Talon, once and for all. Obviously, she didnt find anything, which she should’ve expected, knowing the hacker. It was hard for her to admit that the sole reason of her presence here tonight was the fact that she felt guilty for what happened to her team, and she somehow thought that coming to this place and trying to take down the whole Talon organization on her own would be a good idea, and maybe it would work.

But god knows it was the stupidest idea she’d ever had.

She realized that the moment she heard his voice. “You’re gonna regret this.” She turned around, seeing nothing but a tall shadow standing in the doorway, and before the thought of running away hit her mind, he pulled his shotguns out and shot her in the shoulder.

And thats how she ended up here, lying on the cold ground, panting, tears slowly streaming down her face as she was trying to recollect herself. She never should’ve gone there on her own, she didnt even know what she was expecting from this. When her friends will learn what she tried to do tonight, they’ll most definitely be the ones to kill her, if Gabriel didn’t already finish the job until then. Thats why she stood up, stumbling around for a second before she started to run again, until she got a sight of the right building, which made her let out a relieved sigh. She slowed down, knowing he wouldn’t have followed her that far anyway, and she entered the building, climbing the stairs until she got to the 6th floor. Lena opened the door, a mixture of sweat, blood and melted snow dripping down her face as she entered her apartment. She took a second to close the door, locking it, before she let herself fall against the dark wood, slowly gliding to the ground, grunting from the pain.

“Qu’est ce que-…”

Lena jumped, flicking her head in the direction of the voice. She was there. Standing in front of the patio door, her long, dark hair framing the face she was so scared to see again. She was used to those golden eyes, piercing through her every single time she looked at her - this time, it was different. There was nothing piercing to her gaze, actually, it almost showed something like… concern.

“Chérie what happened to you ?” It looked like she didnt dare to move.

“Fuck off… I dont want you here.” she mumbled, lowering her glance, knowing that those golden eyes would make her change her mind if they just as much as stared at her the right way. Silence filled the room, heavy on her shoulders.

“Those are some very rude words coming out of such a sweet mouth.” She barely heard her approaching, Amélie was just like a cat ; she moved gracefully, her footsteps were light on the wooden ground, her tall silhouette was ripping through the banality of her corridor.

“Please, just- just get out, alright ? I’m not in the mood to play.” she sighed, grimacing as she tried to stand up. She could feel her heart race both in her chest and her open shoulder, it almost hurt, and she could feel how the world around her started to get dizzy.

“Je ne suis pas là pour jouer ce soir, chérie” she heard, before her vision started to become blurry, her eyes slowly shutting down, and her head hitting the door once again. The last thing she saw was the silhouette she loved so much growing closer to her, kneeling down next to her bruised self, and only her eyes were glowing that night.

////////

Amélie and her had this little… game, they loved to play. Nobody knew about it, and nobody would ever know about it, for it was their little secret. Something they shared for quite a while now, and although it was so wrong for them to do that, it was one of the very few moments were everything just… felt right. Talon’s elite sniper was also Talon’s eyes, going from town to town, watching them, following them, when they think nothing can get to them. She spent enough time watching every Overwatch agent, one after the other, through their every day life, and mostly, following them to their places, taking notes of everything that could be important and help them to bring this sickening organization down, once and for all. She did it with Angela, Lucio, Hana, 76, even Reinhardt (it was probably one of the most boring moments in her life, the old man just sat down on his couch and watched those stupid games only elderly people watched on their TV, and most of the time he’d just fall asleep during the first ad break). Then, she started watching Lena. Something about her pattern intrigued the french agent, every day was different, unlike everyone else, she couldnt put a finger on her habits, for she didnt have any. At least, that was what she thought. In reality, Lena had noticed from the very beginning that she was being watched, and used the Widow’s confidence to get around her and find her hiding spots. Until one day, where she confronted her. They fought, and fought, and fought, yet, bullets barely touched their moving bodies, as if they were dancing past each other. And then, it became an habit. Their meetings, their fights. Somehow, both of them needed that, as if they were enjoying every second of it, which they were. None of them knew exactly what brought them together, maybe they were just clinging onto old memories, maybe they were trying to forget them, but still, they met, every other night, on that same roof top, and fought. Some people get to know each other over some coffee, and them ? They fought, danced through the night, and left each other with the biggest smile spread onto their faces. One day, though, a too-well placed shot hit Lena right in the leg, leaving her vulnerable to the enemy sniper. She knew it was just a matter of time before she’d take advantage of the situation to get rid of one of Overwatch’s most efficient troublemaker. After all, the Amélie she once knew was no longer here, replaced by this emotionless silhouette she couldn’t help but admire. Her cold gaze was piercing right through her as she saw her raise the murderous weapon, scope in, Lena closed her eyes and thought to herself, maybe she’ll wake up, maybe none of this ever happened and she was still fighting the demons inside her head, pushing her to think that somewhere inside the Widow’s body, there was still a heart. She heard the shot, her ears were buzzing loudly and she collapsed, pain taking over her body, or at least that was what she thought. As she opened her eyes, she saw her come closer, holding out her hand.

To this day she still didnt know why Amélie didnt kill her, why she decided to save her instead, bringing her back to her place and taking care of the wound she had left on her leg. After that, she came by every other day, after midnight, to check on her ; changing her bandaid, bringing her some food, taking care of her, everything the old Amélie would do. Lena did all the talking, trying to find out what she was doing here, why she didnt shoot, what pushed her to do the right thing, but she never got any answer out of the woman, instead, she’d just nod, and say a few words in french Lena didnt manage to grasp. After her condition improved, Amélie’s visits slowly decreased in number, but she still passed by once in a while, just to listen to the girl while she talked about her day. Somehow, with everything that had happened between them, Lena felt like she could trust her. After all, she could’ve killed her that day, and still, she didnt. She wouldnt call it a bond, or maybe she did - there was definitely something odd about them but she figured, as long as it went like this, she‘d enjoy every single moment.

On the battlefield, she usually heard a distinct shot, which wouldn’t touch anybody - instead, it was like a signal, and she took advantage of the mess created by the fight to sneak around the enemy frontlines, to find her way to the snipers spot. Nobody knew about the little game both of them liked to play, they teased each other without giving too much of themselves away, and it was fine like that. It lasted a while, until a few days ago ; they were on their rooftop, again, Lena was sitting on the very edge of the building, staring at the orange sky, and the sun disappearing behind the stone jungle in front of her. Amélie was resting against the wall, behind her. They did this a lot, they didnt talk, they just stared at the sky, and it was already enough. “I’ll never get tired of this, y’know” she whispered. At this exact moment, Overwatch’s headquarters were being attacked by Talon’s members, and Lena wasn’t there to defend it.

It was the last time they saw each other ever since.

////////

“Chérie, tu devrais faire plus attention à toi” was the first thing she heard when she woke up. She felt the soft mattress of her bed under her body, and even softer fingers brushing against her forehead, making her shiver. Her skull still hurt, and so did her shoulder, but she noticed how she couldnt move that well, and felt the bandages on her skin. Frowning, she opened her eyes, meeting with this golden gaze she feared so much. If she didnt know any better, she’d probably think it was concern that shined in her eyes.

“What are you still doing here ? I told you to leave.” she mumbled, trying to sit up but her entire body started to scream at her in pain, and Amélie softly pushed her back into the many pillows displayed on her bed.

“What were you thinking ?” there wasn’t a hint of anger in her voice, instead, it felt like she was genuinely concerned.

“I dont know. I had to do something.” Lena sighed, closing her eyes again, not wanting to get another glance of the Widow’s face.

“No you didn’t. You were just being stupid.” She had always loved the accent she had when she was speaking, it made every word sound much softer, which made her even more dangerous than she already was. But this time, it was different.

“I know what you’re thinking, Lena. You wouldn’t have made a difference, believe me.”

She opened her eyes again, shaken by the sudden anger that filled her mind after those words hit her ears.

“Are you fucking kidding me ?! What is wrong with you ? Of course i would’ve made a difference, we lost because of me !”

Amélie shook her head, leaning back, her hands resting on her lap.

“You are being stupid, ma chérie. Don’t underestimate Talon, they would’ve hurt you if you’d been there. You should thank me.”

Suddenly, silence filled the room. It felt like it lasted an eternity, before she finally gathered the strength to sit up, grimacing from the pain, before she looked her straight in the eyes.

“You knew. You knew, didn’t you ?”

Again, silence. They stared at each other, both of them were waiting for the other to break the silence.

She finally nodded.

“You… Why did you do that ? I… I could’ve been there, i could’ve helped them..!” Slowly the realization hit her, she didnt know if it was the pain, or the fact that she had been tricked by the one person she really trusted, but tears started to stream down her face, dripping down her chin, wetting her sheets.

“It is not what it looks like. You don’t understand.”

Lena shook her head, brushing her hands against her cheeks.

“Then what is it ?! What is it, tell me !”

Another silence.

“TELL ME!”

Amélie stood up, without a word, and left the room, closing the bedroom door behind her.

She couldnt believe it.

“I trusted you !” she tried to shout, but her voice barely filled the room, and she was left there, wondering. How stupid could she be ? Seconds passed, it felt like hours, she stayed there, sitting on her bed, her mind suddenly as empty as her bedroom, she barely reacted when the door opened again. Amélie walked in, holding the door open.

“Please. Just come.”

She knew she shouldn’t follow her, she knew she shouldn’t trust her, but her bruised body still managed to get out of bed, slowly walking forward, using the wall as a support. The tall woman reached out and grabbed her hand, helping her as much as she could, gently holding her so she wouldn’t lose her balance. As she walked into the living room, Lena’s eyes started watering. She didnt recognize her apartment anymore ; next to the tv was a small pine tree, bloody red baubles hanging down its branches, decorated with tinsels and little light bubbles. She could barely hear the soft music in the background, there was a box sitting on the small table in front of the couch, wrapped in a beautiful red paper, snowflakes shining on it. She just stood there, in awe, unable to say anything.

“Come.” she heard, and Amélie pulled on her hand, bringing her to the couch, making her sit down before taking a place next to her. Her cold hands were still wrapped around hers, and she was glancing at her someway she never did before.

“Yes, i knew. I didn’t want you to get hurt so i kept you with me.“

Before she managed to say something, Amélie continued.

“I know this… Christmas party was important to you. I’m sorry.” She knew she wasn’t really sorry about what happened to her friends, after all, they had always been enemies, she probably celebrated their victory later on that day. But still, something about her was so different tonight, she couldn’t help but think that all of this was sincere.

“You have every right to be mad at me. I understand. But keep in mind that i did it to protect you.”

She finally gathered the courage to answer.

“Why would you even do that ?”

Amélie stared at her for what felt like an eternity, before she grew closer to the girl, her grip slightly tightening on her hands as their lips met in what seemed to be the most cruel, and beautiful kiss she could ever dream of. She hated how much she enjoyed it, how every inch of anger had immediately been replaced by nothing but this soothing feeling tightening her chest. Her cheeks were burning as their lips finally parted, she tried to remain calm but her heavy breath betrayed her.

“You can’t do that…” she whispered, but Amélie’s fingers met with her cheeks, brushing softly against her skin before she slowly pulled her back into another kiss, much softer this time. As they parted again, Lena tried to say something but she cut her off.

“S’il te plait. Fais moi confiance.”

She didn’t know what she just said, but she suddenly stopped caring, and as leaned forward to kiss her again, it was almost as if she couldn’t feel the pain in her shoulder anymore, as if she finally found the bandaid she needed.

“Let me make it up to you.” she felt her cold breath against her lips as she spoke, hypnotized, she tried to be mad but she wasn’t, she couldn’t. Instead, she felt how her heart was racing inside her chest, almost as if it was trying to free itself from its ribcage, trying to meet with hers. She nodded, leaning into another kiss, before Amélie pulled back, wearing a very subtle smile.

“Here.”

Lena frowned, reaching for the gift she was handing her, wondering.

“I… I dont know, wh-“

“Just open it.”

She waited a second, hesitating, before carefully ripping the paper off, revealing a simple white box. She opened it, and her eyes started watering again.

“You…”

////////

She remembered it. It was years ago, they were sitting there, at a table inside of Gérard’s little castle, Amélie was looking through some magazines while talking to Lena about french fashion. “We french ladies know how to dress. We have the best ‘couturiers’ in the world, believe me.” They used to hang out a lot, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. She loved spending time with Amélie, simply hearing her brag about french fashion was enough to make her happy. She leaned over to look at the magazine she was holding, suddenly shouting. “Oh my god !” She pointed at a jacket, aviator style, made of brown leather and wool, eyes shining in excitement. “That’s the jacket I’ve always wanted !” Amélie just laughed. “See ? French fashion is the best. Maybe you’ll get it for Christmas, who knows ?”

A few months later, Amélie shot her husband right in the head.

They never made it to Christmas.

////////

She took the jacket out of the box, her fingers gliding across the soft leather. She remembered.

“Joyeux Noël, chérie.”

“Je t’aime”

#secret santa 2017 #widowtracer secret santa 2017 #widowtracer #fanfic #overlookingtheworld #submission

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smokewizard992-blog · 7 years

Text

Its not done but this is my longest story so far please excuse any grammical errors.

Title: Kurokus revelation Another bright and sunny day in the leaf. kuroku returning from a short and simple misson he took to alive his usual boredom. "Now that im home i wonder what to do now" said kuroku as his coat fluttered in the wind. He stops with a face of uneasy wonder as he places his hand on his chest "the ticks are uneasy" kuroku pondered "something isnt right i probably forgot to clean something in the cafinic.." kuroku said with an uneasy grin. And in an instand several explosions can be heard through out the village. "WHAT THE HELL!" said kuroku as he unwravels the hive. "For once things wont be boring!" Said kuroku confidently as he takes off to go meet the challenge. Moving quickly through the village he notices several large centipede creatures thrashing around the village. One of these large beasts turns its attention twards kuroku and lunges towards him kuroku jumps landing on a near by building. "Have a taste of this then!" With a few flicks of his finger tips the hive takes off into the sky above the centipede. A series whirling and click of gears from the hive is heard as several compartments open in the hive revealing ticks fit to burst. The ticks quickly detach and begin to plummet twards the beast eventually exploding in rapid succession "special move: aburame light show" said kuroku with a large toothy grin on his face as the smoke cleared revealing the beast in multiple pieces but kurokus victory is short lived when he senses another presence close to him but before he can turn and retaliate he takes a hard right hook to the cheek sending him across the rooftop. Kuroku now bleeding from the corner of his mouth he looks up and becomes stricken with suprise "i...its you! Theres no way my ticks blew you to pieces!!!" A deep voice radiates the air "you didnt honestly think those little flys of yours would be enough did you?" Chapter 2: Brains vrs brawn "Ok first off meat head they arent flys they are ticks" said kuroku in a irritated groan as he slowly stands up to his foe "Akui kosodoro this time ill make sure i do more than just give u a parting gift on your face" kuroku muttered wiping blood from his lip. Loud cracks echo through the strangely still air as akui cracks his knuckles. "Speakin of which i need to return the favor bug boy" with out a seconds hesitation akui charges across the roof top chakra collecting in his drawn back fist to deliver a more powerful blow as he lashes out his blow once again connects to kurokus face but before he flys off kuroku bursts into a puff of smoke revealing a log "A Substitution?!" Said akui with a shocked tone of voice. Akui quickly notices a patch of paper on the log showing a crude drawing of kuroku giving the finger saying "catch me if u can boxer breifs" the log then opening two side doors revealing 4 ticks. Akui quickly launches back knowing what those bugs mean. Narrowly escaping the blast akui is forced off the roof top and onto the city streets. "Where did that snail slip off too" said akui angrily quickly throwing up hand signs for a jutsu. Boar,dragon,rat his eyes intensify and chakra forms infront of them in an almost binocular fashion and through his eyes all the scources of concentrated chakra are highlighted in his vision. Akui knotices theres chakra strings all over the street attached to random objects and sputtering off into what seemed to be random dicrections. "Tsk youll have to do better than that" akui then focuses even harder revealing the chakra in each string one in particular glowing brighter than the rest "there u are!" Said akui as he runs following the string leading him to a pottery shop. "This again...WHY DONT U COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!" Akui shouted into the building. frothing with anger akui hesitantly walks into the shop following the string up to a gourd in the back of the shop "ive seen this trick of yours hide by disguising yourself as the gourd your puppet rolls up into while that damn doll attacks from the shadows well not this time i have you now!" Akui said excitedly as he smashes the gourd with his fist busting off the top half only to reveal theres no kuroku but more ticks ready to blow akui quickly backing up in a panic he knocks over some other pots which have even more ticks inside "SHI-" akui intterupted as the entire shop bursts into a torrent of smoke and flame. Across the street kuroku hops out from behind a tree "first off i dont fight like a man i fight like a shinobi. Second off. Special move: Basket Bomb" said kuroku as he adjusts his shades and reels the hive back into its gourd shape. (End of chapter 2) Chapter 3: we all know pain As kuroku wraps up everything from he previous encounter which included making sure the shop keep and any civilians were unharmed. A roaring voice echoes throughout the village "ALL MIGHTY PUSH" says the voice as the village begins to shake and rumble and a large crater begins forming during this a large gust of wind and dust blows up sending kuroku flying. Hitting his head upon his landing rendering him unconscious. Moments of kurokus life past by in an instant and yet he experiences every moment like they just happend. Most of these moments included hinata in every moment she appeared kuroku felt a warm joyous feeling overwhelm him but as they went on that feeling faded and shifted into a red hot jealousy because he realized hinata wasnt looking at him but rather naruto instead the memories became blurry as they went by faster faster eventually kuroku saw his own face with a scowl and furrowed brow he opens his mouth and says "its not ment to be". Suddenly kuroku jerks awake realising hes buried under a pile of rubble blood running from the top of his head to his chin on the right side of his face. a small chip in the left lense of his shades. His throat dry his body sore. "I have to find her" kuroku grumbled as he began to shift and move to get out from under the rubble. Upon finally digging out his upper torso he saw something that crushed him not physically but this hurt more than any broken bone down at the bottom of the crater he saw her.. hinata standing in front of what kuroku first thought was the fourth hokage but looking more closely it was naruto trying to protect the village and she was protecting him. Kuroku couldnt hear most of what hinata was saying but the message to kuroku was vividly clear. Kuroku heard these words as if he was right next to them "i love you naruto" and just as kuroku heard these words he felt his body become 100 times heavier and his heart drop into 1000 pieces his ticks became restless as one lonely tear fell down his cheek kuroku didn't fully understand how he felt . he was hurting but there was something else a tiny something a small glimmer of somthing deep down past all the pain....it was peace kuroku felt at peace with what he saw and then he realized why kuroku felt happy so long as hinata was happy and if konohas hyperactive knuckle head ninja was the one who made her happy. Kuroku began to try and pull himself outt of the rubble but he was to exhausted to continue eventually collapsing once more. (End of chapter 3) Chapter 4: recovery Kuroku opens his eyes to realize he was napping in the woods and needed to get back to the village so he stands up and begins walking kuroku eventually reaches behind him to grab something and starts to panic "HEY WHERES MY uhhhh..." he said forgetfully he begins patting all over himself for he couldnt shake the feeling of something thats very symbolic of his character is missing as he pats his coat pocket and finds his shades "ah here they are" kuroku said as the feeling mostly dissapated kuroku eventually stops and kneels at a small creek and leans over to see his reflection and he quickly knotices the one black tuft of hair that sticks up no matter what he does "in my dream it was red...i may do that it looked pretty good" kuroku said to his reflection "that way youll look far cooler when your older" he said with a playful childlike chuckle. Kuroku eventually looks up and sees a man in white cloth staring down at him from atop the hill. Kuroku being the agravatable child he is began to march up to the man to tell him its rude to stare but as he got to the top the man turned and walked away only to reveal to kuroku that theres a small log cabin at the top of the hill but hes sure that he shoulda been able to see the cabin from where he was but ever determined kuroku marched on into the cabin only for him to see rows upon rows of large doll like items of all shapes and sizes kuroku is filled with wonderment he sees the man at a small work desk at the other side of the cabin so kuroku wanders up "what are these things.." kuroku said curiously "Puppets" said the man in a kind but stern voice "i build them to keep from being home sick" said the man again kuroku astonished his mind began to scribble all the possible aplications for these tools "TEACH ME HOW" shouted kuroku as a grin makes its way across the mans face as everything fades away once more with a quick glimpse of kuroku learning building and training eventually completeing the hive as once more he wakes up only in a room he did not recognise on a bed that wasnt his as he felt around he knoticed his legs are in braces and he bumps into a book accidentally "HEY watch it will ya im trying to study here" said a voice as the page gets turned kuroku quickly looks up quickly being a loose term since hes very sore and he knotices hanabi hyuga reading her book at his bedside as she looks up and realizes that hes awake and she stands up and runs out the door kuroku is very confused but remains calm as neji and shino walk in "about time u woke up natsu has been working tirelessly treating you and taking care of hanabi" said neji in his usual stern voice "im actually astonished this isnt a result of more of your breeding projects" said shino as a way to mock kuroku "honestly it kinda is" kurokus face suddenly went strawberry red as natsu walked in and and lit up "oh im so releived your awake" said natsu gently. "Y-your a woman?!" Said kuroku with embarrased suprise in his voice "does my name not give it away?" Said natsu "to be honest its not at all what i imagined" a flash of a pink haired pyromaniac appeared in kurokus head. Natsu looks down and says "sorry i didnt meet your expectations kuro-san " kuroku quickly retorts 'NO no u exeeded them greatly ! Uhh how long was i out anyways? Natsu looks up "about a week." She says reluctantly "A WEEK?!" said kuroku with a shock "that means at somepoint youve......" his face turning even more red natsu walks up and starts removing the braces "it wasnt bad" said natsu very quietly kuroku looks to be on the verge of a heart attack as he falls out of bed from celebrating (End of chapter 4)

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leanstooneside · 6 years

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ORIGINAL PRANKSTA

lamp because he must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst though his nose is not so big after I

series even if the first term of a succeeding one each imagining himself to be first last only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor alone in a series

it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of children off her the one they called budgers or something like a nigger with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the last time

listener's and the narrator's

me his name who tell me who the german Emperor is it

mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it

Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has shes as much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing I was sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is now

I was there a squad of them falling over one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfied till they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck it was on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitive about everything

shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his complexion and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I halfturned and stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santisima he did look a big fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with the sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it

it was all his fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas day if you please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her face swelled up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing about the place in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May moon shes beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the jews temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in your

money she can out of him no fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water 1 woman is not enough for them

he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the City Arms hotel when he used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she had too much old chat in her about politics and earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear them I suppose she was pious because no man would look at her twice I hope Ill never be like her a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces but she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to old women like that and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of nothing but not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much better for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean but I

I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street west and another time it was my muddy boots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my

my things with the blinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that with a big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case

me or dreaming am I in it who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American that had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and then they come and tell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I

Im him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person my child on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone them Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incense off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of his fathers I wonder is he

himself to be the first to enter whereas he is always the last term

theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked back and I went there for tea 2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like

part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was lo times worse himself anyhow begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it

I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the present of Byron's poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch him with my veil and gloves on going out I kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might imagine he was and make a declaration to her with his plabbery kind of a manner like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out too much the night before talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to be always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me and did you wash possible the women are always egging on to that putting it on thick when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking a bit putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the kind he is what spoils him

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battystumutchildren-blog · 7 years

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YULALA: -She's out and about today and was actually gravitating towards a local spot that's been getting a lot of attention lately from those in her "friend circle" (although in reality not very many people are still actually in her friend circle). Her many trappings and jewelry jangle as she walks. She's got her ears buds in, and seems to walk slightly strangely or off kilter as she sways to the beat of whatever she's listening too, and even hums.-

MAVRIK: -Mavrik was in agony. He had kept himself hidden in shadowy corners of this space station, hiding among trash bags and dumpsters, until his nose and the cuts on his face from the broken glass smashed over his head had stopped bleeding their weird rainbow of colors. Now it was all mostly dirty looking scabs, asides from the cracks in his horn which were still oozing. Oh well, it was close enough to the base that maybe no one would notice...-

MAVRIK: -His bruised and battered rib cage made it hard to breathe, and the headache and waves of dizziness caused by his horn fracture wasnt helping to improve his thinking ability. Which was bad, because he needed to figure out a way off this damn station and to get back to lauctis without drawing any attention to himself. And currently using one hand to cover up his exposed glowing eye and looking beat to hell and back was not the best way to go about being inconspicuous.-

MAVRIK: -He was behind some other restaurant, leaning against the wall and just taking deep breaths to try and tune out the throbbing in his skull when he smells it. A weird, familiar musk that he only knows in the deepest part of his cognitive memory. There is a instinctual tug in his stomach, and Mavrik knows what it is hes detecting before his brain can even muster the sheer near impossible odds that there is another mimic here.-

MAVRIK: -Either way though he isn't wasting too much time trying to sort out just how or why another member of his species is here. He needs help, and he can only hope that whoever it is they are willing to give it...-

-As Yulala continues walking she might feel like something is following her, perhaps she might even smell him too. But after a few minutes of tracking her down, and confirming with his nose what she is, Mavrik will grab Yulala by the wrist and forcefully yank her out of view of the public eye and into a corridor where he promptly covers her mouth with a hand and speaks into her ear through gritted teeth.-

MAVRIK: (Dont scream, please dont scream, I need help Im alone and need to get out of here, please help me.)

YULALA: -Music may be a relief to her, but apart of the reason she likes it so much is that it swallows all her sensory information and directs it to one place. She has minimal hope of noticing him before the assailant snatches her. For the first few seconds, all she can think about is how terrified and horrified she is. Nothing like this has ever happened to her, and she never imagined she'd be caught so off guard when it did. However, he might be surprised by how strong she is, when she lashes against him like a viper, threatening to knock him back into the wall of the alley and tear herself out of his grip. Not screaming, but a shrieky animalisitc snarl that he ought to be familiar with.-

YULALA: Get aaaaaawaaaaay from me!

MAVRIK: -When she sharply moves to throw him off her Mavrik chokes on the wince he makes from her knocking into his battered body. He lets go of her wrist in favor of wrapping both his arms around his sides and leaning forward as he tries to outlast the sharp radiating pain.- (Fuck!!)

MAVRIK: Pl-Please Im not trying to do anything, I need your help someone attacked me and I think they know we need to get out of here! -He hisses and then looks up at her pleadingly, both eyes open, one seemingly troll like with an indigo iris, and the other bare and neon. A look Yulala might find very familiar.-

YULALA: -Yulala could smell the blood the whole time....Among other confusing...(and exciting?) scents and colors coming off him in waves. It's making both her eyes and nose very confused. She hisses again, but it's slower, like she's thinking it over for a second, although she's still bolt straight and clearly about to attack him again to make her escape. But then she gets a good look at him, and sees the ugly hurt aura of colors that's radiating from his wounds, and that cools her hostility into instantaneous pity. She's not stupid though, she's still guarded. And angry.-

YULALA: Why did you pull me aaawaaaaay like that? It reaaallly scaaaarred me!!

YULALA: ...but you cleaaarly need aaaa hospital....I could caaalll you a caaab? Is thaat what you need?

YULALA: You....-She does notice his neon eye. It stuns her. She's never seen another eye that looked like hers before, except...In a mirror.-

MAVRIK: NO! -He hisses again, but then regrets it and tries to be as seemingly non-aggressive as possible through his body language.- No hospitals!! Are you crazy???

MAVRIK: And I pulled you in here so no one would see us! I can't believe you are walking around like that, look at your eyes what are you thinking!?? -He wheezes and points a finger at her face.- Sunglasses or contacts or something you cant go bare eyed thats so fucking dangerous! I know most of the worlds and stations near here are musclebeast shit backwards without culling laws but for fucks sake...

YULALA: -At first she's confused....and then incredibly offended....and then confused some more.- Aaa.....Aaare you from aaaa plaaaanet with culling laaaws? -She clumsily lets her voice fall into a not-as-agressive tone, a little startled by all these sudden developments.-

YULALA: I...I know you might be scaaaared, but it's saaaaaafe, I promise. My faaamily haaas lived here for aaaaaaaa long time aaaand most of them are offspec.

YULALA: I could...go with you...If you're reaaaaaallly aaaafraaaaid! -She doesn't really want to, despite the offer. Something about him just....unnerves her. His sudden presence in her life is scary and she wants him gone as fast as possible. But she can't abandon a hurt, confused person.-

MAVRIK: -Yes, pity him he is indeed hurt and confused. But mostly confused at her. Mavrik looks at her like Yulala has two heads.- Wh-?? Yes! I came from a damn planet with culling laws, the odds of existing on one of those flimsy "Beforean" minded hell holes is so rare they keep too close of a track on their caverns. -Or so hes been told.-

MAVRIK: I'm from a colony world controlled by Alternian government, or I was. I had to defect to lauctis which is where I'm trying to get to but at this point I'm willing to go anywhere, seriously ANYWHERE.

MAVRIK: -He reaches out and takes her arm again.- But you said your family right?? "Family??" There are more? Please take me to them, take me with you I promise I'm no threat rogue, I lost my group sweeps ago I've been on my own since I just want to meet them, to see others like us again!!!(edited)

YULALA: -None of the trains of thought her racing mind was pursuing seem to be related in any way to this strange troll's babbling. She feels herself kind of withdrawing inward as he talks, noticing the way the splatter of his blood shines. Just like hers. She backs off from him more although the alleyway is cramped and there's not much space to work with. She's just overhwelmed with way he's assaulting her sights and senses. For instance the prisma of his aura of misery and loathing is so bright in comparison to other people she's met that it almost burns to be too close to it. And he can see her fear rising, probably assume that at any moment she wants to bolt without replying to any of his increasingly alarming statements.-

YULALA: ...

MAVRIK: -He can see her fear, plain as day, even if it comes muddled through the one contact lens. Shit he didnt want to scare her off, but why was she even so frightened?? He was like her! He was one of them! Even with his confusion though Mavrik lets her back up again and holds his hands out in front of himself fingers splayed in a peaceful gesture, and he tries to appear as non threatening as he can despite his heart thudding in his chest and all his senses going crazy.- Please, please just...

MAVRIK: Just get me to lauctis. Thats all I need, and I can explain myself more but we cant stay here. Neither of us.

YULALA: -There's a tense silence....and then she speaks up again.- Whaaaats the point of getting aaaanywhere if your injuries get infected aaaand you die? You don't trust the hospitaaal on Laaauctis either, I guess?

YULALA: You're confused. Aaabout aaa lot. I don't know whaaat you think we haaave in common, but we don't.

MAVRIK: No! I have medical supplies I can't treat myself there- Wh-??? -He frowns at her. He's the confused one?? She's the one trying to get him to go to a hospital where he could easily be exposed and found out! It's like she doesn't even know the first rules of mimic survival!-

MAVRIK: -Then his frown turns more squinty, like he's inspecting her. And then again Mavrik is suddenly invading her personal space again, taking hold of her arms and sniffing at her collar bone, her shoulder.- Holy shit I thought I was seeing things because of a concussion but it's not here. You don't have it. -There is a sudden twisting in his gut, and the strong urge to correct her lack of internal parasite.-

MAVRIK: -Lets go of her wrists and jumps back.- What are you??

YULALA: -It's safe to say that everything he's said thus far has her taken aback, but he doesn't need to see her aura to know how it makes her feel, her eyes squint with surprised hurt as though he slapped her. Its not the first time she's heard those words. All she can do is give him a flabbergasted blurt back.-...No. What aaarre you?

YULALA: -She fiercely yanks herself away from him again.- Stop it! I didn't saaay you could touch me!

MAVRIK: I'm like you! If you need to put a word to it trolls have called us "mihmiks" for centuries. -Says the name with so much distaste and malice it might as well be acid on his tongue.-

MAVRIK: You are parasite free something is wrong with you, where is the rest of your group?? Where are their parasites?

YULALA: Mihmiks. -Her stomach is twisting around inside her painfully. She doesn't understand all of what he's saying- still- but somehow...she knows what he's saying is true. And it's the worst thing that's happened to her....So far. There's another layer on top of the colors both she and Mavrik can see- an even fainter and more subtle aura of intuition that's for her alone. This person is going to set off an unavoidable chain of events....It's hard not to get lost in that train of thought- it's already trying to unfocus her from the situation and yank her away from reality.-

YULALA: I don't know whaaat you mean by paraaasites....I don't know why you'd waaant to ....haaaave paraaaasites. I waaaas raised by my daaad. An indigoblood! On a ship. With lots of other offspec trolls.

MAVRIK: -Stares at Yulala like shes gone and grown a third head. Seriously this lady keeps getting stranger and stranger.- .... The lack of parasite is no longer the strangest thing, you were raised by trolls???

MAVRIK: The murderous species that would literally rather have you, me and everyone else like us dead raised you???

MAVRIK: -He cant even compute that.-

MAVRIK: Did they not know what you are!? Well I guess obviously so because why would a troll keep someone that feeds off their kind alive it doesnt make sense!

YULALA: You- we- You're saying Mihmiks feed on trolls? -HORRIFIED.-

YULALA: Ugh! I caaaan't deaaal with aaalll this. I don't waaannna deaaaal with aaaaaaall this!

YULALA: Look, just put a hoodie on, sneak onto a traaansportaaaalizer paaad. I don't caaaare where aaas long aaas it's faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar aaaway from me! -

YULALA: -With that she turns and starts to run.-

MAVRIK: Not really trolls themselves, its an option if you can manage it but mostly its the eggs and grubs. You havent lived until you-- WAIT STOP!! -He tries to sprint forward after her but before he even reaches the end of the ally way he has to stop, he cant run, he cant keep up. Mavrik just places a hand against the wall to support his weight and pathetically wheezes...-

MAVRIK: -She can run while she can, this wont be the last time they will see each other...-

#in which mihmiks: part one #mavrik #yulala odatyl #ip log #parasite plot

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