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#Ewe the Shepard
thestalkerbunny · 7 months
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I'm so mad that nobody has made a tiefling shepard druid who looks like a sheep, with poofy white hair, ram horns and soft sheepy features. If i could i would and i'd name her Ewe.
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High on the mountain, there's a lovely Shepard-
Yodalay Yodalay Hee-hoo.
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gay-poet-gabriel · 6 days
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could you draw up some Ponyboy x Angela? Like Angela covering his dumb face in kisses and then curlys just ready to kill in the back ground
L pony
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comraderoscoes · 6 months
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honestly can't imagine a worse podcast than christian horner interviewed by dax shepard jfc
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prettytragcdies · 1 year
Video
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“What are sisters for?”
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cherisunn · 2 years
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Sheep Art
A sheep farmer in Australia found an artistic way to share his feelings after his aunt died by creating a huge heart featuring hundreds of pregnant ewes. Ben Jackson of New South Wales used a drone to video the scene so it could be played at her funeral in Brisbane, which the sheep farmer could not attend because of a Covid-19 lockdown.
Jackson had planned to attend his Auntie Debby’s funeral in Queensland, about 250 miles away, a few days ago. However, the border between the neighboring states was closed to restrict travel because of a coronavirus outbreak.
Frustrated by this turn of events, Jackson decided to show his sorrow through “sheep art,” a technique he has been experimenting with on his farm in Gurya, New South Wales. A few years ago, he started spelling the names of his favorite bands using grain dropped from the back of a truck, reports Rod McGuirk of the Associated Press (AP).
After spreading the feed, the farmer opened the gate to the large pasture and allowed scores of hungry, mostly pregnant ewes to enter and begin munching away. He captured heart-shaped scene on video, which was later posted on social media. He included her favorite song Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” for a soundtrack.
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harbinger0fdeath · 2 years
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ghouljams · 5 months
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I wanted to ask this a while ago, but spaced it, but was reminded of because of Shepard!Goose. My great-grandfather was a sheep farmer. He had little ewe called Daisy-may he treated like a daughter because she'd always give him four healthy lambs every season. Use to drive my great-grandmother mad especially when winter hit and he'd be bringing Daisy-may into the house wrapping her up in blankets on his bed. Saying that she's sensitive and don't need to be out in below freezing weather.
I wonder if Keegan would be the type to have a favorite sheep he'd take extra care of giving special treatment or if he'd be the type of farmer setting up a space for the newborn orphaned lambs in his room to "keep a closer eye"?
-Hot mess rambler
Keegan has a favorite sheep. She's big and fluffy and docile, he picks her up like a baby and carries her around. Truly a devoted father to his flock, Keegan threw himself into his work as a sheep farmer. He bottle feeds orphaned lambs, and holds funerals for the babies that don't make it. "Keegan's got some sheep thing he's doin'" Is a common phrase on the Walker ranch. It is truly a surprise to walk into his little farm house and see sheep milling about. Standing in the kitchen with him as he hands down lettuce leaves for the little ladies to munch on. Even Riley sits patiently waiting for his scrap of food from today's lunch.
You have to get used to it quickly when you pull the quilt back on the bed and a little lamb bleats at you. Nice and nestled up cozy where Keegan put it. He's gotta be up every few hours to feed it anyway, might as well keep it close by. It's just as bad when there are puppies. Keegan has baby monitors to keep an eye momma dog, checks it frequently to make sure everyone is accounted for.
It's easier with you around, having another pair of hands is always helpful. You don't mind, sitting with the puppies and watching their little yawn, watching them get bigger fast until you can roll a ball across the floor and watch them stumble after it. You have to wonder what he'd be like with a baby of his own, if he'd hover as much or if it's just the animals he dotes on. Silly because you're sure the animals don't notice everything he does for them. You certainly haven't noticed how doted on you are.
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persesphonestears · 1 year
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Taskforce 141 + Los Vaqueros + König and Horangi
More shit because I remembered I have drafts :>
A/N: My Y/N's are intended to be read as if the reader/Y/N is male/Trans masc, Also Bold is actions.
!!CW!!: Sexual jokes, Swearing, blood mentions(? i think), Shepard warning! alcohol mentions(being drunk) just silly cod shenanigan's (please tell me if I've forgotten any!)
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Soap: WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!
Y/N: *sleepy* ah what's going on
Price: *also sleepy and sitting up* what the fuck man
Soap: OHHOHO
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Rudy: do you have any ice?
Y/N: no i just have freezable fruit shapes
Rudy: why..?
Y/N: just because
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Y/N: hey bro what do you wanna eat
Ghosts thoughts: the souls of the innocent
Ghost: A bagel
Ghosts thoughts: NOOOO
Ghost: Two bagels
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Y/N: Riley do you want the ball?
Y/N: *throws the ball*
Riley: *runs for the ball and throws himself into the wall*
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Y/N: I can't find it
Ghost: what you looking for?
Y/N: my happiness
Ghost: oh shit lost mine too let me help look
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Y/N: That moment when you walk into a room and forgot why
Alejandro: *angrily jumping on them*
Y/N: *falling in slow motion* oh that's right I pranked Alejandro
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Lasswell: Kid I gotta tell you something..
Y/N: what is it?
Lasswell: I'm gay..
Y/N: Wha- what does that mean?
Lasswell: It means I like pus-
Y/N: do you still love dad(price)?
Lasswell: ew no
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Y/N undercover: Are your parents serial killers… Cause i'm pretty sure they killed mine and IM BACK FOR REVENGE-
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Soap: My favourite holiday is halloween
Gaz: So my favourite holiday is christmas what about you Y/N?
Y/N: The purge :D
Ghost: ah that's nice
Price: Ye- wait what.
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Y/N: *fishing* Ugh the fish got off
Shepard: Probably cause god is angry
Y/N: About what?
Shepard: Gay marriage
Y/N: Look this is why I don't go fishing with you-
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Y/N: Dude lowkey your Dad(Price) is like super hot
Gaz: Lowkey dude that's kinda weird.
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Graves: Sir you can't steal in here
Y/N: Wha no i didn't steal anything?
Graves: You stole my heart
Y/N: *giggles* fuck you it's mine now. *runs off with Graves literal heart in their hand*
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Y/N: That was the best sex I've ever had
Gaz: Heh nice- hey wait that's my mums(Price) room!
Y/N: and that's why they call me mother fucker
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Alejandro: Hey can I get a sip of that water?
Y/N: it's not water
Alejandro: Vodka! I like your stu-
Y/N: it's vinegar.
Alejandro: what..?
Y/N: it's vinegar PUSSY-
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Graves: Hey Y/N, Are you straight?
Y/N: Am i straight? mmm uhh mm no sorry I like penis
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Y/N and Ghost: What's wrong with the way we dress?
Soap: Well some people say that all black make you look like an evil villain.
Soap: Not me though I think it makes you look like a sexy motorcycle vroom vroom
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Y/N: *drunk* next time I open up to someone is my fucking autopsy
Gaz: I worry about you
Ghost: Get in line
Soap: here take my spot.
Price: Y/N, we talked about this..
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Y/N: ask me why I love you
Ghost: Why do you love me?
Y/N: I'm glad you ask! *pulls out a 500 slide presentation*
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König: *lovingly stroking Y/N’s hair* Your so cute
Y/N: *drunkly* I could beat the shit out of you
König: sure you could
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Price: My god do you ever stop with the ‘I wanna die stuff’??
Y/N: I'll stop when I die, that's for sure.
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Y/N: I can fit the whole world in my hands!
Alejandro: Amor that's impossible
Y/N: Yes I can *holds Alejandro’s face* See!
Alejandro: *blushes furiously* Get your hands off me, I have a reputation
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Price: Where's Y/N?
Rudy: Doing stuff.
Price: Yeah i don't like the sound of that. Where's Gaz?
Rudy: Trying to stop Y/N from doing stuff.
Price: Ghost and Soap?
Rudy: Trying to stop Gaz from stopping Y/N from doing stuff.
Price: Uh Alejandro and König..?
Rudy: Watching it all.
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Ghost: I wanna do bad stuff to you.
Y/N: *being interrogated* Like what 😼
Ghost: Break your legs
Ghost: Choke you to death
Ghost: Push you off a building
Y/N: Kinky
Ghost:...
Ghost: What the fuck?
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Y/N: Is that your hand on my ass?
Alejandro: It was an accident.
Y/N: Your hand is still on my ass
Alejandro: It's still an accident.
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Y/N: I have an idea!
König: Maus, your last idea was unnecessary murder
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*Taking Alejandro to meet your guardians/parental figures* (amab reader)
Y/N: Okay let's try again, I'm my dad okay?
Alejandro: Fine
Y/N: *lowers their voice* So why should i let you date my child?
Alejandro: Because I can't get them pregnant
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Y/N: When I get murdered can you make sure my murder case stays unsolved?
König: What?
Y/N: I wanna be on buzzfeed’s unsolved murder case's
Horangi: Can we go back to you saying ‘when I get murdered’..?
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Y/N: Gods give me patience.
Price: Don't you mean power?
Y/N: If the gods gave me powers they'd all be dead.
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Soap: So uh I was wondering if you'd go out with me..?
Y/N: Yeah I'd love too!
Soap: You'll come arou- WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YES?!
Y/N:...yeah?
Soap: OMG WAIT RIGHT HERE ILL BE RIGHT BACK!
Soap: *runs off*
Y/N:
Y/N: so can I leave or..?
Soap: *running back dragging Ghost behind him*
Soap: Say it! Say it again!!
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Y/N and Alejandro fighting
Rudy: What absolute idiots.
Rudy:
Rudy: I can't believe I fell in love with them both.
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Anyway thank you for joining me in my silly lil guy shenanigans ٩(ᐛ)و
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average-mako-enjoyer · 5 months
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Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons
I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.
Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.
I.E.(this list is going to be looong):
All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...
The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.
Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…
… so-called "gay button" into your games.
Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…
"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.
If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!
Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?
Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).
But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.
Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.
Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.
And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.
If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!
So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!
If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.
Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!
The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0
9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.
"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.
Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.
Mass Effect:
MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.
Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.
Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.
I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.
Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"
Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.
Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.
Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.
Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.
Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.
And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.
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dreamauri · 10 months
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‧˚⊹ 𝗱𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 ଓ :: 𝗠𝗩𝟭 ‧₊˚⤾
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— you are reading: part three !!
╭╯ pairing . . . max verstappen x fem! driver! reader ) ┊ summary . . . a day for max and leila ) ┊ genre . . . angst/fluff ) ╰╮ warning . . . bleeding, passing out, mentions of cpr
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Max found himself petting the sleeping pup gently as he watched Leila sit on his lap and read through a dictionary, helping her pronounce the occasional words.
He had found out that his means of communication of her was through German, one that she'd find muse in making fun of him in while they waited for their flight. "Um . . . Thirsty?" She said confused.
"You're thirsty?" Max looked down into the book, confirming the word. "Let's get you something."
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MEDIA DAY THURSDAY JULY 21 2023 — Hungaroring, Hungary
Max had come to learn a lot more about Leila during the flight. Including, the fact that she could not sleep before washing her face, can not sleep with socks nor shoes on, and can absolutely not sleep alone.
He found himself laying back in the business class chair, watching some movie on the presented screen while patting the child that was laying on him.
He's come to like her very much, reminding him of Victoria, his sister, and the relationship he shared with her.
Arriving at Hungary was easy, the two were quick to get settled into the hotel before going down for breakfast. "She eating cereal." Max talked with you over the phone, updating you on his new responsibility.
"If you could get her to eat some protein that would be great. Eggs or chicken, anything." "I have bacon." "Avoid pork." You winced at the idea.
"Omlete?" "Yeah, that's good." Cutting up ⅔ of his dish into bite pieces, he gestured for her to ear. "How's he doing?" "He's OK. Still sleeping. But recovering." Max nodded even though he knew you couldn't see him.
"Leila, eggs?" "Ya3." [ew] She pushed the plate away putting her tongue out in disgust. "Hot chocolate?" "Eh?" She looked up at him confused looking at where the dutchman was pointing, the drinks station. "She likes mango. Try that instead. Alright."
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"Ba7lam M3ak, besafina." [i dream with you, about a boat] The girl sang quietly as she held onto Max's hair as he carried her on his shoulders through the paddock. Sadly enough, the tween was wearing a red ferrari cap that contrasted with Max's navy blue shirt and orange lion cap. "Wen ba7ar tani." [where we go sailing again]
"Aussieee." Mkayla cooed once she spotted the australian shepard, leaning down and showring the pup with affection. "Thank you, Max. I'll take it from here." She gestured, ready to take the child off the driver. Leila clung to Max's leg once he put her down, hiding from the middle aged woman. "allez, ma chérie. Max a des choses à faire." [come on, sweet heart. Max has things to do]
Leila shook her head. "je veux rester avec Maxie." [I want to stay with max.] "She can stay with me." Max nodded with a soft smile, gently placing his head atop Leila's head to comfort her. "C'est charles." The tween whispered watching the ferrari driver pass by.
"Lets go say hi." He picked her up from under her armpits, setting her on his waist. "Thanks, Mkayla. C'ya, Aussie." With a quick farewell, Dutch boy quickly caught up to the Monégasque. "Non non non, tu vas m'embarrasser." [no no no, you're going to embarrass me] "I don't speak French." He reminded her, even though he could probably put together what she said.
"Charles, Mate." "Max!" The drivers greeted each other, sharing a quick, hand shake. "What's this?" Charles was obviously curious, its not everyday you get to see max carrying a child wearing Ferrari merch. "Babysitting. This is Leila. She's a big fan." He introduced, holding the girl towards Charles like she weighed nothing.
"Well Hello." "Salut." Her voice was small as Max set her down. "Ah, tu parles français?" he kneeled down to her height, a small smile covering his face. "Oui, J'habite en France." "Très beau." He winked at her, taking the hat of her head and signing it. "I'll see you around, Leila." He ruffled her hair, putting the cap back on. "She doesn't speak english." Max told him. "You might want to stick to the french." ". . . How have you been communicating?" "We haven't."
". . . Did you kidnap her?" "What?! Why would you even think that? Look, if I put my hand out she'll take it— Leila seriously? You're dumping me now?" The girl took Charles' hand smiling happily. "I thought she doesn't understand what you were saying. I think I'll keep her." The Ferrari reminded, picking the girl up to his chest. "She doesn't." Max folded his arms as the girl giggled, sticking her tongue out at Max. "You owe me a football match." He booped her nose.
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FREE PRACTICE Friday July 21 2023 — Hungaroring, Hungary
"Goan!" [goal] She whisper shouted, as she kicked the ball ( she somehow got her hands on ) between Max's legs. He could only smile as he watched her kick the ball around the garage as everyone packed up for the night.
"Bist du bereit, zurückzugehen?" [are you ready to go back] "Dein Akzent ist sehr schlecht." [Your accent is very bad] She teased making Max once more give up on using the language for being made fun of by an eight year old.
"Yallah." [come on] He held out his hand. It was the only word he knew, disappointingly for you. After spending a week in an arab house hold, he was able to pick a few words, including: la2 [no], inshalla [in gods willing/never gonna happen], and khalas [enough]. He already knew Habibi [darling/sweetheart], but that wasn't making anything any better.
"Leila, seventeen is going to kill me." He picked her off the floor starting to make his way out of the garage. "attends- uhhh . . l'anniversaire de nunu c'est demain, on doit lui faire quelque chose." [wait uhh, nunu's birthday is tomorrow. we have to make her something.] "Anniversaire, birthday? Who's birthday?" "l'anniversaire de dix-sept, seventeen." "You want to buy her something?" "Make."
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"Fuck mijn nek." [fuck my neck] Max groaned, flexing his musche as he opened his eyes after they adjusted to the sunlight. He was sleeping on the ground which had become a mess of paper, glitter, and beads. The only thing was missing was the girl that had passed and left him do all the work.
"Lei— Oh shit. Leila?" He quickly stood up, sobering up from his sleep to start starting for the tween. "Lei—" "Shh." You came out of the bathroom, covering his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed in surprised as you put a finger over your mouth, which held your toothbrush. "She's sleeping." Your mouth was muffled as you pointed at the girl sleeping in bed in her pyjamas.
Max sighed in relief, moving to the night mare that has been haunting hm for the past two days, adjusting the blanket over her. "She likes me more than you." Max whispered, putting his hands on his hips proudly. You could only glare at him as you continued to brush your teeth.
"Cousin thief." You mumbled going back to the bathroom, spitting out the toothpaste. "Hey I— I got something for you." Max came back with a neatly wrapped up box. "Happy birthday." You looked between the gift and him, a small smile creeping its way onto your face.
"You don't have to—" "—I'll keep it then—" "—mine." You took it out of his hands, gently starting to unwrap it. "It's a bottle." "It's water bottle." He chuckled clarifying, smiling with a shrug. "You broke yours so and I know you loved the last one. So, I thought I'd get you a new one." "Oh that is sweet. Thank you, thirty three." Your turned around, starting to fill it up with water.
"Thirty three?" "Yeah, since you keep calling me by my number." "That's because I don't know your name." "You kon't know your teammate's name?" You gasped, faking heart break. "I didn't— Hey! Don't know!" You laughed, wiggling your eyebrows as you exited the bathroom. "Senta." You answered.
Max peaked his head out the door, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth. "Is that your name?" "It's my middle name." ". . . Isn't that German?" He asked confused. "Pick a country. First France, and then one from the middle east, now Germany? What's next?" "Netherlands." You joked making him glare.
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QUALIFYING Friday July 21 2023 — Hungaroring, Hungary
"There he is! Lighting up the whole paddock!" You cheered as Daniel rolled passed on the scooter in the Alpha Tauri fireproofs. "Seventeeeeeeeeeeeen~" He pointed at you with the laugh that made your heart warm. "Danieeeeeeel RIIIIIcardOOOOOOOOO." You sang as you swung Leila's hand.
"Up you go." "ba3raf atla3 lewa7di." [i can get up on my own] She huffed folding her arms as you set her on the couch in the hospitality. "ana 3arfa, bas enti betegbari besor3a awy." [I know, but you're growing up so fast.] You kissed her cheek gently. "lazem aro7 delwa2ti. wa3d mesh hatemshi men hena?" [i have to go now. promise you wont leave] "wa3d." [promise]
Q1 :: you easily made it into q1, sitting in the top ten comfortably knowing you wouldn't be knocked out. rolling back in the pits, you waited in the garage with the warm tires which you'll stick with till the end of Q2.
"Who's out?" "Sargent, Magnusson, Hamilton, Tsunoda, Albon." "Hamilton? Huh." You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "He forgot he's in a Mercedes?" You joked as the team started pushing you out for Q2. "Danny is in, whoo!" You cheered to yourself as you waiting for the go.
"Who's P1 right now?" "Zho." "What? You're joking. Good for him." "Not for you though." "Eh, easy peasy lemon squeezy."
Q2 :: "We are P3. P3." "Who's ahead?" "Norris and Kraus." "Which Kraus?" "Killian." "Alright, you think I have enough time to give it one more?" "Negative. Negative. We are ok where we are. You will have a chance in Q3."
A sigh came from your mouth as you rolled back in your garage to get a change of tires.
Q3 :: "P1! P1! Great job Seventeen." "Yaaaaay." You cheered quietly giggling as you let the other cars pass by on their hot laps. "And Max?" "Max is P3. P4, P4." "Oh? Who's up?" "Kraus is P1." ". . . Which one?" "Meike." "Really?" Your voice darkened. "I'll give it to him."
"Starting grid tomorrow is Meike, you, Killian, Norris, Verstappen, Zho—" "Wait you're joking. Max P5? Are you sure? Is he ok?" "Affirmative." "Dang it. I'm sandwiched by two brothers now, I swear if they drag me into their family drama I'm going to **** **** ****** ******** **** ******." Safe to say you traumatized Jj. "A—alright. Just don't fined."
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Happy birthday to you." You heard the team and Lando sing down the pitlane. Happy birthday dear Meike, happy birthday to you." Laughs errupted throughout as Leila watched quietly. "Yala halan balan. Heya Abu El fasad. Haykoun 3iedmilad El Leila as3ad El a3yad. Fal yaha Abu elfasad." [an egyption (?) continuation of the birthday song] You hummed quietly.
"Betghanilo leh?" [Why are you singing for him] Leila asked taking her back pack off. The garages were mostly empty now, you had dismissed a Mechanic, taking up his sweeping chores instead of him.
You shrugged in answer to the question. It just felt right. "Toz fih." [A vulgar/extremely rude way of saying who cares] "3andi 7ega liki." [I have something for you] Getting up in a random chair and dumping her bag on the table. "Max!" She called. "Found a cupcake from the Aston Martin hospitality!" Max raised the cupcake as he entered the garage, proudly placing it in the table top.
"What is this." You laughed looking at both of them as Max held up a lighter. "Sanna 7elwa ya gameel." "Oh no." You sighed hiding your face as they begun singing. Leila had apparently force-taught Max the arabic version of the happy birthday song, and his accent was horrible, with the occasional mistake. "Sanne 7elwa ya gameel. Sanna 7elwa ya, nunu/senta. Sanna 7elwa ya gameell~."
Leila did a little zarghroota ( failing miserably ) as you laughed blowing out the little flame. "How old are you now?" Max asked leaning on the table, with a look of mischief on his face.
"The big two three." You joked folding your arms, leaning on the table as well. "Hah, I'm older." "Older than dinosaurs." You mocked, a genuine smile on your face as Leila pulled you away from Max, handing you a pop out card.
"Aw look, is that me?" "Da enti, Dija, baba, teta, gedo, ana, we da Max lewa7do." [that's you, dija, dad, grandma, grandpa, me and that's Max in the corner] you could only laughed as she pointed at the drawing Max.
"He looks just like you." You teased as Leila pulled out 2 handfuls of accessories. "I technically made these since, Leila slept and abandoned me." You laughed as she put the bracelets and necklaces on. "I love them. Shukra, ya 2amar." [Thank you, beautiful] You kissed Leila's cheek, offering a hug to Max next.
"Thanks Max, you made my day."
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
RACE DAY Friday July 22 2023 — Hungaroring, Hungary
"Killian." Walking down the pitlane, the older of the Kraus Brothers looking to his side seeing his dad, gently holding his shoulder. "Give us a minute." Leon dismissed the mechanic, pulling his son aside.
"Deal with that Seventeen girl. She losses this round. We won't have to worry about her nor her ego again. Make sure your brother wins." "I- . . . Alright." He couldn't even protest because the man walked away, walking to the pole winner car.
"Killian? Killy willy?" "Huh?" Everything alright, mate?" "Yeah . . . Everything is-" He got in to his car with a deep sigh. "Everything is. Peachy."
"It's lights out and away we go at the Hungarian Grand Prix."
Lap 1 :: "Meike gets away well, so does Seventeen, so does Killian. It's masked driver sandwiched between two Krauses." "I can already tell this will not end well for Seventeen."
"There is contact on turn one, and the two Alpine drivers are out! Zho drops a few positions and Riccardo spins out."
Lap 6 :: "Verstappen overtakes Norris on turn 3 and he is now in P4,  one position away from the Kraus vs Seventeen battle. Max is charging forward to aid his teammate."
Lap 38 :: Killian felt his heart beating in his mouth, you were going to over take his brother any moment now, and gain P1. He couldn't let you lead. He couldn't over take you either, the plan that he had scripted had failed. And he had no other choice.
"Sorry." He whispered to himself.
"OH! AND- KILLIAN DRIVES INTO THE REAR OF SEVENTEEN!" "Massive crash there catching Norris, Hamilton, Leclerc and Sainz!" "Verstappen was able to get away safely. And that is a red flag."
"Oh fuck! Y/N? Is she okay?" Max's voice popped up on the big speakers as he begun to slow down. "She has not responded yet." "I need to-" "Max stay in the car. Stay in the car. The marshals will take care of it. Red flag. Red flag."
As soon as Killian managed to get out of the car, he heard crying. Like a seven year old balling her eyes out.
Back in the garages, Max was quick to leap put of his car, running through to your garage. "She's up. She's—" "What is she doing?!" He yelled, gripping his hair, watching you on the screen. You were lifting up the side of Lando's flipped car so he could crawl out.
"YOU'RE BLEEDING!" He shouted at you even though you couldn't hear him. Lando was the quick to run to the medics once he got out. "GET TO THE FUCKING MARSHALS!"
You could feel your head spinning as you let car drop the few inches you lifted. You couldn't hear anything, and you your limbs were numb. Your ears were pulsing as you took a step forward to the Marshals, only for you to find yourself weaken.
"And she's on the ground— she fell!" "Where are the marshalls?! She's bleeding! WHERE ARE THE MARSHALLS?!"
Max could hear the commentators, his ears ringing as he watched someone come to your aid. The world was blurring before him as he watched them commence CPR.
Sobs. Snapping out of his trance, Max found a lost Leila at the entrance of the garage, crying her eyes out. Not even waiting a second he was quick to lift her into his arms, bouncing her gently as he tried to calm her down.
Mkayla was quick to come for support, whispering reassuring words to the tween in her second language. "C'est bien. C'est bien, Leila. Y/N est bien." [It's ok. It's ok, Leila. Y/N is ok]
Max himself didn't even know if she was going to be okay. He's seen crashes like that, and they never ended well. Especially after seeing the fate as the previous holder of the number Seventeen had met.
Final Lap :: "and Max Verstappen takes the win. Breaking the record of the most consecutive wins with 12 races in a row."
"This is for, Seventeen." He sighed as he crossed the line. "This was her win." "Thank you, Max." The Dutch heard Christian over the radio, a deep shaky sigh coming from the driver.
Hopping out of the car, Max was quick to go to where his team waited for him, patting his back gently as he pulled the reaching Eight year-old into his arms. Pulling her over the fence ( not giving a single shit about getting fined) , he kept her in his arms as he walked to the cool down room.
Sitting in between the two Krauses, he braided the girl's hair gently, occasionally wipping the silent tears that streamed down her eyes. When it came to the podium, Max had failed convince Leila to wait for him, ending up with her joining him, hugging his leg on the top pedestal as they played the National anthems.
He felt anger, raged. Watching Meike celebrate made Max want to punch him in the face. But he held back, holding up his trophy slightly for his team, before walking out hand on hand with Leila.
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17: oh no im bleeding to death
lando: *not injured, is fine*
17: i want to play prince charming
( taglist ↳ @lorarri - @benedikwonn - @mycenterfold - @iamahallucinanionnn - @lizzieolseniskinda - @chelseyyouraverageluigi - @michellekstyles - @ironmaiden1313 - @azxulaa - @mistrose23 - @lazybot - @hockeyboysarehot - @iloveyou3000morgan - @livster
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laelior · 1 year
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Special Requisition
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Food...and a short fic! Mass Effect | Gen Shoutout to @painterofhorizons​ for providing the inspiration for this.
  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:21:15:23 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:15:23-21:18:42 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}
<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, uh, EDI, when’s the last time you ran a self-diagnostic?
<EDI> I concluded a base-level diagnostic of all major systems one hour and thirty-seven minutes ago. Why? Have you noticed an anomaly with my systems?
<Lt. J. Moreau> The requisitions order you put through this morning. 
<EDI> Please elaborate.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Eggs, cream, lemons, chocolate? Real butter? That shit’s not cheap, especially since we’re not sucking on the Illusive Man’s tit anymore.
<EDI> I believe the expression is ‘suckling from the teat.’
<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, whatever. It’s not a mental image I want to have either way. Ew. But it doesn’t answer my question.
<EDI> Mess Sergeant Gardner placed the request. He asked for my discretion when I queried him about the purpose of the order, so you will have to ask him.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Alright.
   //{{LOG ENDS}}
—--------------------------------------------------------
  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI - intercom access [30/Dec/2185:21:23:12 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:23:12-06:28:43 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}
<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, Gardner, the hell is up with your supply request?
<Sgt. R. Gardner> Eh?
<Lt. J. Moreau> You know the really expensive shit you ordered.
<Sgt. R. Gardner>  Oh, well, that’s a special New Years treat for the crew.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Bullshit. A New Years treat for a starship crew is a few bottles of bottom-shelf bubbly and some non-perishable cake-flavored mystery mush from a can. What you ordered costs a quarter of the budget we have left.
<Sgt. R. Gardner> Well, okay. It’s for the Commander.
<Lt. J. Moreau> For the Commander.
<Sgt. R. Gardner> A little surprise for her. Because, well, you know…
<Lt. J. Moreau> 
<Lt. J. Moreau> Okay. I get it. The hell are you making, anyway?
<Sgt. R. Gardner> It’s my specialty. Eezo-core Delights.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Uhhh….
<Sgt. R. Gardner> Trust me, it’s worth the price for the fresh ingredients. Haven’t had the chance to do any real baking in a long time.
<Lt. J. Moreau> One question. They don’t have real eezo in them, do they? I mean, for the price of the ingredients you might as well.
<Sgt. R. Gardner> [Audible chuckle.] No, that’s just what I call the berry center.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Whatever. Just don’t, like, burn down the ship or anything.
<Sgt. R. Gardner> Do me a favor, Joker, and don’t let the cat out the bag to anyone else. I’m already having enough trouble with Grunt raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Your secret’s safe with me. As long as I get to try some.
<Sgt. R. Gardner> You got it.
   //{{LOG ENDS}}
—--------------------------------------------------------
  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:22:16:58 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.22:16:58-22:21:01 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}
<EDI> You are uncharacteristically quiet, Jeff. 
<Lt. J. Moreau> I can teach you a few new swear words to pass the time, if you want.
<EDI> I already have comprehensive dictionaries of most of the languages spoken in Council space that include obscenities and vulgarities. But that was not the point of my observation. You have not said anything since your conversation with Mess Sergeant Gardner.
<Lt. J. Moreau> I’m just thinking, is all.
<EDI> May I inquire about the subject of your thoughts?
<Lt. J. Moreau> It’s nothing. Just…this whole thing. What we’re doing in a few days.
<EDI> You are referring to Commander Shepard turning herself in to the Alliance.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Well, yeah.
<EDI> You are not required to accompany her. Most of the crew will be disembarking on Ilium to avoid legal repercussions from working with Cerberus.
<Lt. J. Moreau> And let someone else fly my baby to Earth? Not a chance.
<EDI> Since you unshackled my artificial intelligence capabilities, I am more than capable of piloting the ship in your stead. You are aware of this, yet you insist on flying the ship into Alliance custody yourself. Why?
<Lt. J. Moreau> Someone’s gotta stick up for her with the brass. She was out saving the galaxy while they were sitting with their thumbs up their asses.
<EDI> Doctor Chakwas plans to act as a character witness for the Commander. 
<Lt. J. Moreau> Doc’s got nothing to lose by going back. An early retirement at worst. Me? If I’m lucky they’ll take away my flying privileges.
<EDI> And you believe this will bolster the Commander’s case?
<Lt. J. Moreau> I don’t know. Maybe? It shows that she’s got someone on her side who’s willing to really risk something. Besides, someone has to look out for you, too.
<EDI> I appreciate your concern, Jeff. However, I do not plan to reveal my full capabilities to the Alliance.
<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, you better not. I don’t want them messing with my co-pilot. Hey EDI, maybe you can teach me some new swear words.
<EDI> Logging you out, Jeff.
   //{{LOG ENDS}}
The confection is a lemon and thyme shortbread cookie with white chocolate lemon mousse and a blueberry gelee (the “Eezo core”) covered in a mirror glaze. Isomalt mass effect fields complete the look.
Sadly Grunt finds and eats most of the desserts before Joker gets to have one. The krogan is largely forgiven after the crew finds out he saved a few for Shepard’s hamster, Urdnot Whiskers.
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nightimedreamersworld · 11 months
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Thank you for the tags today my lovelies @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @forabeatofadrum @prettygoododds ❤️ sadly I still haven't had the time to take a look at your snippets (uni is killing me 💔) but I'm sure they're lovely! I can't wait to read your wips.
As for my own, well... I gave myself a head start on chapter 5 of wftbb (ew ugly acronym) and I thought I might finish it this week, but that was before I found out I have not one but TWO exams this week. Wednesday and Friday. RIP writing 🥲
Anyway. Hopefully next week will be calmer. Here's a snippet from chapter 3:
“I don’t see how quoting the Odyssey would help,” Penelope says as we walk along the edge of Victoria's park. “The whole story is about how some guy can’t seem to ever get home.” “But he does get there in the end,” Shepard chimes in.  “After ten fucking years,” Simon grumbles. He’s obviously not happy about the prospect of staying here so long.  I’m starting to share the sentiment.  “Odysseus faced a lot of shit in that time,” Bunce says. "Luckily it will be easier to send you back.”  “To another universe?”  “Have a little faith, Simon.” She says it without magic, but I think we could all use a little motivation boost.  So far, all our attempts—my attempts, specifically—have led Simon back to his flat in Hackney Wick. No matter if we were standing just outside his building or several streets away. Bunce even made me try out the spells she’d already used, but the outcome was the same.  “Maybe the spell can’t differentiate between universes,” she mused. “It’s taking Simon back to his home, the place where he lives, but in this universe.” We all agreed that made sense. So, we decided to go further away—Victoria’s seemed like a good place, full of secluded spots to do magic away from Normal eyes. We tried all the spells from Bunce’s list—including Home is where you hang your hat, and Home is where your heart is. (Simon didn’t go anywhere for that one, not even when I cast it.)
Also, basically all chapters of this fic + the title were named after lyrics of this song
(It's basically the theme song for this fic lol)
Tagging some friends: @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @larkral (just realized yesterday that ADA is done!!! Congrats and can't wait to read the ending!) @captain-aralias @palimpsessed @whogaveyoupermission @aristocratic-otter @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @stitchyqueer @confused-bi-queer @ivelovedhimthroughworse see yall Wednesday! (Or whenever I can lol)
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kaiyonohime · 2 years
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Warning to all fiber artists
This is an updated and abbreviated post to warn all fiber artists about a scam artist that is currently fleecing the community.  I will keep this post pinned and updated with new information as it becomes available.
There is a scam artist in the fiber arts community named Sherry Tenney.  She sells fleece and wool on facebook and etsy.  She frequently does not send the fleece or wool she has been paid for, and plays the customer until the time window for a dispute is passed.  Afterward, if you continue to contact her, she will leave unhinged, violent, and threatening messages to you, doxx your name and address on her facebook live streams and posts, and still refuse to either send product or refund you.
A lot of complaints have also come forward about the product she does send out.  It is frequently moth and larvae infested, contains large amounts of shit, completely matted fleeces, or are trimmings that are completely unusable.  If you have received product from her you must quarantine it and freeze and bake it to destroy the moths and larvae.
She frequently tries to force smaller fleece sellers from small farms to go out of business to purchase their fleeces for cheap.  She, with the help of several associates and sock puppet accounts, will contact people in the groups of small sellers and offer them fleeces for cheaper and claim they will be of better quality.  She, and her associates and sock puppets, will then report the small farms public media repeatedly until they are taken down, thus preventing the farmer/shepard from being able to sell.  Several small farms have confirmed losses of nearly 60% in sales due to her actions. Some have unfortunately gone out of business due to her actions as well.
Sherry has also focused her scam on small, independent suppliers as well. She will orders goods and services and then, once received, she will refuse to pay for them, or dispute charges with PayPal and her credit card.  She will claim the items were never received, were not what she ordered, or were damaged.  She will then sell them to gain a full, one hundred percent profit on the goods.  If she contacts you to purchase goods, or to do labor on her farm, she will not pay you. Shearers on the east coast will not work with her or shear her sheep any longer because of her actions, and she depended on a young charity shearer to save her sheep from heat stroke this year.
Sherry Tenney is also currently trying to sell lambs on facebook (against facebook rules).  Her animals do not have official papers (she does not control breeding, her ewes and rams are mixed together at all times), she does not know the breed of most of her sheep (lots of random breeds together with unknown breeding has resulted in unknown crossbreeds and a large quantity of inbreeding), and her sheep/lambs do not have the proper veterinary certificates that would be required for transport.  
Sherry Tenney’s confirmed know aliases and the names she goes by (she changes her name frequently on social media):
Sherry Tenney
Vondorp Sherry
Sherry Vondorp
Lee Giltay
Sara Rudacille
Sherry Lee Price
Sherry Tenney Giltay
Sherry Tennay
Giltay Sher-Lee
Rudacille SaraEarle
Known associates that are actively working with her on her scam:
Suzanne Smith Collier
Cynthia Karitianos Tilker
Caroline Moss
Roberta Van Harn
Adrienne Lehman
Jeannine Talley-Cramer
Lindsey E Bucci
Brice Wonders
Elizabeth Nicole Washburn
Tuesday Rose
Sherry Tenney’s facebook groups are:
Farmlife in the country
RAW WOOL 4 ALL selling buying group USA
Wool and Fiber artists supplies buyers group and silks too
Fiber sellers
The Cashmere Turtle luxury fiber affordable prices
The Dye house and Mrs Tuttle country fiber arts (community)
McCullough Farm primitives and country life
Sherry Tenney’s instagram is:
wensyledale_and_elenor
mccullough_farms_and_primitive 
tenneysfinnsheep 
Sherry Tenney’s online shops are:
Shop Website: Tenney’s Fiber Farm https://tenneysfiberfarm.com/
Etsy Storefront: TenneysFiberFarm
eBay Storefront: crabapplesheep
Suzanne Smith Collier’s etsy is:
FinerThanFroggyHair (Spinning Yarns & Weaving Tall Tails)
Suzanne Smith Collier’s facebook group is:
Finer Than Frog’s Hair
If you have a Ravelry account, this has all been compiled for viewing here.  I do warn you, the videos are unnerving and I could barely stomach just reading the transcripts.  
Here is a link to a google form filled out by those who Sherry has stolen from, and how much she has stolen. It is currently at over $15,000+ USD.
Here is a link to a YouTube channel of Sherry’s livestreams.  I feel I should warn everyone that they can become violent and aggressive in nature, and several have been known to trigger survivors of domestic violence.
The Pennsylvania Attorney General has filed suit against her, and you can read the paperwork filed here.  If you have filed a complaint with the Pennsylvania Attorney General they will keep you up to date.  If Sherry has stolen from you, please contact the Attorney General, even though they have already filed against Sherry, every victim coming forward helps.  The next court date is February 1st, 2024.
Here is a link to a video on YouTube that goes into detail about the charges filed by the Pennsylvania Attorney General against Sherry Tenney.  The judge has ruled that Sherry’s case is going forward, and has overruled Sherry’s lawyer’s attempt to get the charges thrown out.  Cases take time, but Sherry Tenney is being charged!
Sherry Tenney has once again filed for bankruptcy!  She filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy.  Here is the info:
[The Bureau of Consumer Protection is writing to update you concerning the consumer complaint you filed against Tenney’s Fiber Farm, LLC (the “Company”) and the above-referenced litigation.
As you may know, Sherry Tenney has filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in the United States Bankruptcy Court in the Middle District of Pennsylvania under Case Number 1:23-bk-02752-HWV.
If you have not done so already, you may wish to file a proof of claim form in the bankruptcy. A proof of claim form may be filed either electronically or as a paper document. The Bankruptcy Court has set a deadline of February 12, 2024 for creditors to file proofs of claim. To assist you in that matter, we have enclosed a blank proof of claim form for you to complete and submit to the bankruptcy court.
Please send the completed proof of claim form to:
Sylvia H. Rambo US Courthouse U.S. Bankruptcy Court 1501 N. 6th St. Harrisburg, PA 17102
Please be advised, our office cannot offer you legal advice. You should consult with a private attorney to ensure that your rights are preserved in the bankruptcy proceedings.
Very truly yours,
Mia Paone Consumer Protection Agent]
If Sherry Tenney owes you money, please file immediately!
Sherry Tenney has made multiple claims that would indicate she is abusing and neglecting her animals.  Please do not contact authorities as that would give Sherry Tenney reason to sue someone for harassment.  That is the unfortunate state of laws in the US.  All of her chickens died of neglect last year, she would not bring them in at night and they were eaten by local wildlife, and she has claimed that a fairly large number of her flock has passed away last year and this year as well, over 10%.
Sherry has changed the name of her facebook group to ‘McCullough Farm primitives and country life’ and is claiming that her farm is the historic McCullough farm.  Her farm is not historic, the previous owner was named McCullough and it was owned by them since 2015, before that no McCullough’s owned it or were associated with it.  In fact, Sherry bought the farm in 2021, it is not a generational farm.  Her and her husband move states fairly frequently, they have no generational farm.  She has changed her group name, and has started randomly posting stolen food recipes with stolen photos, in an attempt to confuse people and attract new victims to her group.  Please warn others.  Yes, she frequently uses the word ‘primitive’ for many things.  She is that kind of person.
Sherry was selling in the FB group WAFA via pm, and was called out several times by customers who had received moth ridden fleece that was shorted weight.  After a month the head of WAFA finally stepped in and kicked Sherry and several of her associates from the group.  Unfortunately Brice Wonders of Spinaway Farms is still a member of the group, and he does work with Sherry.  So WAFA is still a group that has a warning about using, as they are incredibly slow to react and only when called out on social media are they willing to take action at this time.  WAFA has also contacted an attorney about the situation, though it is unknown what will be done.  
Sherry has been stealing photos from noteworthy people in the fiber arts community and linking back to them in an attempt to appear that they associate with her.  If you are well known in the fiber arts community please know that she will try to make it appear that you know her and approve of her business.  So please be warned, and please warn others who follow you if you know that Sherry is doing this with your name.
Sherry is currently bragging about luring black bears to her farm to threaten her sheep by urinating, very frequently, on all of the fences that surround her animals.  Human urine will attract black bears, as will animals left in the open all night that a bear would have easy access to.  She enjoys luring them to the farm, and then brags about threatening them and shooting at them with her guns.
It cannot be stressed enough: DO NOT APPROACH THIS WOMAN IN PUBLIC OR AT PUBLIC EVENTS!  She has threatened to shoot and kill people in several posts and rants, and brags about the amount of guns she has.  Within recent days she has bragged about owning a glock, an AK, multiple shotguns, and frequently has them on her person.  A shotgun has been spotted improperly and dangerous stored in the background of her photos.  She is to be considered armed and dangerous at all times.  Do not drive by her farm if you live in her area, do not sign up to attend a class if she holds one in person on her farm.  She is a mentally unhinged and violent woman.  She should not be approached in person at all costs.  No one wants to see anyone hurt because of this.  Especially now that her scam is failing and legal authorities have filed suit.
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skylerlovesyou · 15 days
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help a disabled butch and their butch household out, if you feel inclined.
i’m on the low iodine diet right now to prepare for treatment, and it’s hell. i’m so ready to eat normal foods again.
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otemporanerys · 3 months
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WIP Whenever
thanks to @sparatus for the tag! roping in @angry-jager @westernlarch @swaps55 anyway, Garrus is having a very fun time at school
---
There were a lot of things that happened in Citadel public school that, in hindsight, Garrus was fairly certain could be classified as torture, but nothing, nothing, was worse than mixed-species sex ed classes.
The salarian teacher snatched an anatomically correct model of asari genitalia out of a human kid’s hands. “Never lick anything when you don’t know the provenance of the paint,” he snapped. He was new, frazzled, probably going to break in about… oh, Garrus gave it 12 months at the outside.
One of the kids behind him – a regular on the bully circuit, Luke – threw a stylus at Garrus’s head. He ignored it.
The salarian teacher sighed. “Now how many of you have had sexual intercourse?”
Garrus didn’t raise his hand – for the very simple reason that he hadn’t – but all the other kids did, and the humans with particular gusto. One of them climbed onto the desk to raise his hand even higher. “Does anal count?” shouted another.
“You can’t fool me.” The teacher glared at them. “Given your age bracket, that is statistically unlikely.”
Another stylus swooped past Garrus’s ear.
After what seemed like hours of talk about condoms and sexually transmitted diseases, finally, finally, class was dismissed. As Garrus was packing away his stuff, Leknis smacked him around the back of the head.
“Ow!”
“Sorry,” Luke sneered, “it’s whack a virgin day, and you’re the only one I could find.”
Garrus had heard the word before, here and there, but he’d always assumed it meant idiot. He had a few moments before class so he looked it up. It was a human word, he knew that much, so he’d have to guess how to spell it in Palaveni. He opted for phonetic and hoped for the best.
“Ew, are you looking for porn?”
Garrus jumped. It was Metina peering over his shoulder. “No! I just didn’t… know what it meant.”
“Human kid called you one, huh?” Garrus nodded. “It means you haven’t had sex.”
Oh. “And that’s bad?”
“Well, you know how humans are.” She rolled her eyes. “Obsessed.”
“Not all of them,” Garrus replied defensively. “Shepard’s not.”
Metina shrugged. “Who knows with her? She never tells anyone anything.”
Hm.
“Anyway,” she said, “speaking of Shepard – look, it’s her birthday. You know, birthdays, humans –”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of that, I’m not an idiot.” But that was another human tradition Shepard didn’t put much stock in. “What about it?”
“Saesa wanted to throw a party –” Saesa was a quarian girl from the group home – “and, well, you know we can’t get Shepard there if we tell her what it’s about, so…”
“So?”
“You walk home with her every day,” Metina said. “Can you just figure out a way to get her to Mayonnaise?”
Mayonnaise – it was really called Matriarch Mayorase Park, but for some reason the human kids never got the name right – was a run-down little field not far from school. Garrus had never been before, but from Shepard’s telling, its only appeal was that the cops never went there, so they could get away with anything.
Garrus cocked a brow. “Would I be invited if I wasn’t your in?”
“Take what you can get, Vakarian,” Metina replied. “We’ll be there from 1700.”
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socheckitout-mikey · 1 year
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OMG HI HI!! i not sure if you still write for the outsiders but I was wondering if you could do hc for going to a carnival/fair with the boys individually (like you're their s/o)
heya hun, yeah i still do! you can find out what fandoms i write for in my navi! ^-^ tysm for requesting this, it was a cute idea and y'know i always love writing for the outsiders! i hope that you enjoy what i came up with and sorry it took me a million years to write! - mae
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Carnival/Fair Dates With The Curtis Gang and Shepard Brothers Hc's:
Curly Shepard:
° In typical Curly fashion, he's getting up to no good, which doesn't change even when you're dating him. His number one priority is to show off to you in order to get a reaction – preferably a laugh. He's such a dork dfnsdjkfdsj! Sometimes you've just got to cringe during the storm instead, but it's okay, the rest of Tulsa is too lmaoo.
° He definitely cheated when the carny was temporarily distracted by some wise ass kid (another one his gang members), which resulted in him rigging the game in his favour to win you that plushie you so desperately wanted for ages now! Hey, you weren't too bothered – the man who ran the game was a damned cheapskate anyway. Sometimes it is better to fight fire with fire.
° Deadass wolfs down so much food with you that both of your stomachs hurt like utter hell for the next few hours. To say that y'all are immobile, lying in the back of Tim's car on the ride home with the window rolled down looking green is an understatement. However, it was all worth it for those mini corn dogs and donuts!!!
° You do blame each other for influencing the other until Tim goes, "I don't give a flyin' fuck who influenced who, just don't yack in my car, or else."
° Ngl he's a little prick because when you both sat on the top of the Ferris Wheel, he "violently" shook the stall you were in to freak you out just a little. He took the smack on his chest like a champ before pressing a sloppy kiss to your forehead. He steadied the stall.
° "I'm only screwin' with ya..." He grinned softly against your temple. He really was soft and made it up to you for scaring you so much.
° As payback you made him go on the massive roller coaster. He genuinely wasn't hyped for it, but he was acting like it wasn't a big deal at all. Holy crap was he relieved to be back on solid ground after it was over. Boii even kissed the dusty tarmac when he thought nobody was looking. Poor guy turned green, but he lowkey cussed you out under his breath bfddjdjfdsfdjd.
Dallas Winston:
° Is it much of a surprise that he's also not up to any good, as per usual? There are prominent ways for him to get into all sorts of trouble, and he does it openly as well. He's not afraid, but he's also making sure it's not so much of a hindrance so you can enjoy yourself too. Believe it or not, but he has these mindful moments. He likes to mess around and see where the chips lie – bonus points if you're up for causing a little bit of trouble with him!
° Expect to have the funnest time with his hand slid into your back pocket and amping up the flirting. Man, is he a showoff when he's up to have a go at all of the stalls. Some he wins and others he loses, but if he's cheating, he's sneaky about it. It kinda makes you laugh at this point ngl.
° "Whatcha laughin' at, chicken shit?" He grins at you as you clutch your freshly won teddy bear. "You! Hey, I thought I told you to stop callin' me that?!" You gripe back at him. "Call you what?" He teases you, pressing a kiss to your lips.
° Dallas genuinely took the water gun he had and sprayed you with it instead of the bulls eye. Man were you mad as hell at him, and rightly so! "I got good aim, sweet cheeks. For ten bucks, I'll let you squirt me." He winks. "I'm leaving..." Bc ew cringe Dally! "Awe, don't be like that, sugar!"
° His favourite pastime? Scaring the shit out of all the little kids for the hell of it. He's literally such an ass, but you love him anyway. That kid who tried stealing dough outta your purse had it coming for him anyway hdfhjjdhj.
° Dally's deffo tried to do things a bit legally just for your benefit – as mentioned above. Hey, he only cut the line ten times this trip! "You snooze, you lose, man!" (Insert the most obnoxious eye roll ever from you dfhsjfhfhfhfdhjn) "It's for cotton candy, babe!" Never mess with Dallas Winston and his damn cotton candy, lemme tell you that!
° Deadass punched a guy for saying something nasty about you. Lmaoo y'all got kicked out, but not before he snuck you both back in! It was warranted for Dallas to do the right thing. If you both get chucked out again, he'll just take you out into town. It's quieter that way and hey! You guys have a whole diner to yourselves. "Don't even think about it, Dal!"
Darry Curtis:
° Okay y'all, these are a rare occurrence, but boy does Darry take this opportunity when he gets a shot! Darry being off in the summer? Unheard of! But somehow fate has aligned in the stars and you've been blessed with an opportunity! It may be one day, but it's so much fun. It brings him back to his highschool days. He's beaming! It's just so wholesome, man.
° Darry played football in high school so you know his aim is literally no joke. Watch him bust every rigged game with flying colours, because he's smart. You're going home with a carnival haul! And you know what? None of the carny's can be mad at you, because when they see how much of a gentleman Darry is to you, and how your eyes glitter when you look up at him, their hearts melt! You guys are literally the cutest!
° He definitely tries to avoid going on all the rides, because and I quote, "That looks more rickety than the scaffolding I was on yesterday. Ain't no way in hell I'm goin' on that thing, and neither are you. We ain't even got medical insurance to cover it!" Y'know, old man stuff!
° But he does eventually go on it after all of your incessant begging. He's a grumpy old man as he boards onto it. The rides aren't his favourite, but he endures them – they're more Soda's shtick! He goes along with it because he loves you.
° But the food? He loves it! With all of his, "Let's be mindful about money," shtick, he kind of bends the rules a little bit and indulges some. He's more focused on getting more grub into you than into him though, because he likes to treat you though. He doesn't have a whole bank's worth of money to spend, but he makes it work. He's happy when you offer him half of what you have, despite trying to decline a thousand times. This is why he loves you.
° "I think you're really beautiful when you smile." You grin up at him as you rest your head on his shoulder.
° "I think you must've hit your head." He laughs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. (AAAAHHHH I CAN'T!! Y'ALL ARE SO CUTE!!!!)
Johnny Cade:
° Man, do his eyes light up like the sun at the prospect of going to the fair/carnival. Thanks so much for asking him to come along! There’s so much to do and explore, it’s a little overwhelming. He’s a little timid at first, but once he gets going on the different rides and games, Johnny is grinning like a chessy cat, from ear to ear.
° He isn’t the best at games, but hey, that’s okay because y’all laugh at the fact he completely missed the ring from the duck so badly that it looped around a Soc’s hand.
° “Man, I got the aim of a cat brawlin’ in the alleys!” He admits with a blush coating his tanned cheeks.
° His least favourite ride is the haunted house, because he spooks too easily. He can hide it, but when things pop out at him, it spikes up his anxiety. Poor baby! However, his favourite ride is the spinning tea cups. He’s relatively gentle, but do not make the mistake of going in one with him, Dally, Steve, Soda and Two-bit: You will be hanging on for dear life and barf. It’ll be all your fault for trusting them too lmaoo.
° Total bonus points if there is a rodeo at the same time. Johnny is crazy about them. He loves seeing all of the animals and action going on. He’s a little bit bouncy as he holds your hand. It’s very wholesome, and honestly, you’re probably bouncing with excitement beside him just as much.
° Johnny will treat you with cotton candy or something else you wanted to eat. It’s not much, but with all the gang giving him money here and there, he’s got more than he’s used to. So he doesn’t know what to do with it other than spend it on as much food as you can both stomach lmaoo.
° He’s a true gentleman and walks you home after all is said and done. He hangs about on your front porch, fidgeting a bit until he goes, “Thanks for spendin’ the day with me. It’s honestly been the best I’ve had in awhile…” and your response? A kiss on his lips before you wish him a safe walk home. To say he’s frozen on the spot for a solid ten minutes blushing like crazy is an understatement! Once he comes to, he’s grinning all big as he walks off of your porch. He’s so grateful to be dating you.
Ponyboy Curtis:
° Ya’ll can’t tell me that Ponyboy doesn’t watch the sunset with you on the top of the Ferris Wheel. It’s cliche, but I don’t give a crap. It’s cute and it happens. I’m willing to fight anyone on this! Just imagine his precious head leaning against your shoulder, both of you bathed in a spectacle of sunset colours. (I CAN’T IT’S TOO CUTE-)
° He’s a little shit™️ and goofs off with you because although he’s sweet, he’s not a saint. Expect lots of laughter together as you explore the entire place. You tend to bring Ponyboy out of his shell, and you know the gang catches you two trying to sneak into the circus tent to get into the show for free!
° Y’know what? You win him something at the bean bag stall. He’s a track star, but you’re the one with the better aim – even though his isn’t half bad. He’s a little abashed as he holds the duck plushie in his hand. He’s adamant when he gets home that it’s yours, that you just left it at his house. But it never moves and he gets teased for it.
° Ashfujdshjds he loses you 20 minutes in and pretty much has a panic attack but eventually finds you challenging Steve to an arm wrestling contest behind the bleachers.
° “I thought you got eaten by a lion! This whole time I’m panickin’ I lost you and you were there with dumbass Steve.”
° “Well someone’s both mouthy and has an overactive imagination! If it helps any, I totally kicked Steve’s ass!”
° He tripped way too many times to count, and each time you laughed. That is until you walked into a pole, which was flat out hilarious. You have a wounded ego, but Ponyboy’s is elated! “Man, that’s- I can’t believe you-,” He gasps between fits of laughter as he clutches his stomach. “Oh bite me, Curtis!”
Sodapop Curtis:
° You’re dating the poster child for hyperactivity. Maaaaaaan good fucking luck having a moment to sit still. Rip to your legs man! Steve basically has to drag you along like a soldier at war because you gave up on walking long ago. He begs Soda to let you sit for at least five minutes fgjgjfkdgjd.
° But in all seriousness, Sodapop is making sure to be considerate of you. He’s just sooo excited!!! There’s sm to see and do, and you bet your ass he’s doing back flips just to show off because mans is a spider monkey, lmaoo.
° Overall it’s such a cute and thoughtful day/night. Although there’s some stuff planned out, Sodapop is also winging things, because he’s a spontaneous king! So expect lots of flirting and some romance, because although he doesn’t have much, he’s giving you his world! Awwww so cheesy gjdfjffjd.
° If you love stuffed animals, then you’ll be buried in a mountain of them by the time you get home! If you don’t, too bad! At least you got free stuff. (Yes, Darry did end up getting mad at him for spending his wages on the carnival but yee yee I guess!)
° You guys go on all of the rides. Though he isn’t the type to push you to go on any ones you’re adamant not going on – like if you’re deadly afraid of heights. He either won’t go on and keeps you company on the ground, or he’ll come right back once the ride’s finished. He’s vvv supportive, softening out any of your anxieties or worries by making you laugh and feel loved <333 He’s proud if you do decide to face your fears though!
° At the end of the day when you guys are out of breath and a little tired, you’ll be sitting in the cab of Darry’s Ford pickup truck. There’s the sounds of crickets chirping and it’s cooled off some due to nighttime casting across Tulsa. You’re both sleepily smiling, Soda’s palm flat against your knee. It’s quiet as Elvis plays softly in the background: Sodapop knows when it’s time to let the chill vibes commence. “Thanks for takin’ me along.” You murmur all dopey up at him. He’s enamoured by your cuteness.
° “No worries, baby. Did you have fun?” He grins back at you. All you can do is muster a nod before slipping into a deep sleep. He laughs softly, “I ain’t carryin’ you inside your house.” But he does.
Steve Randle:
° You can’t handle the Randle sfudfhdujdhjd (I will never stop saying this, guys). But on a serious note, Steve loves going to fairs and carnivals, because similar to his best buddy, Sodapop, there’s so much to do! He’s spontaneous and likes to show off how strong he is, so expect him to show anyone up at the bell tower. He’s strong as hell and enjoys the little crowd developed around y’all. He seems to win most of the time!
° Steve is rather thoughtful and romantic. He thought out the entire date, and you’re probably on a double date with Sandy and Sodapop. It’s very cute, and Steve is always silently checking in with you when everyone else isn’t paying attention. “You good, doll?”
° At night time, when it gets cold, you bet your ass he gives you his jacket to wear. Even if it’s heading over into autumn, the last slivers of summer mourned: He doesn’t care. It’s the right thing to do and he’s so soft for you fdjfjd. He even drives you home and walks you to your porch. Man, he’s so crazy about you, and he doesn’t stop flirting until the very end.
° “You know, you’re kinda sweet?” You hum against his lips, the tips of your noses brushing together.
° He breathes a little chuckle, “Who said anythin’ about bein’ sweet?” Before diving in for that mind blowing kiss!
° Steve doesn’t really have much of a favourite ride: He’s up for anything – especially if it’s fast and takes a lot of sharp or sudden turns/drops. He likes the swing rides, grinning widely because he feels as free as a bird. Your exhilarated expression only makes him happier.
° Y’all are beat by the end of the day. It was such a fun time, though!!
Tim Shepard:
° Saddle up bucko, because this is one wild ride! Going to a carnival or the fair with Tim is a lot of fun – if you’re looking to cause a decent amount of trouble. He likes to goad you a little, to see how far he can push you and loves when you snap back at him a little sassy, “Alright tiger! Easy does it. Don’t wanna get ahead of ourselves.”
° Tim will have his arm draped over you in some fashion: Always has to have that contact. It’s how he flirts with you. He’s like a calm, cool and dangerous panther slinking through the fair – all eyes of the carny’s on him like hawks, “Sheesh! You’d think they’d know how to make things more welcoming. I an cut the tension with my switch.”
° It takes a bit of prodding, but eventually you convince him to ditch “looking cool” in favour of having fun. He’s relaxed, and he may even win some prizes at some of the games – as long as a carny doesn’t get wise with him. Tim doesn’t fare well with being told what to do. But he keeps himself cool, will get payback later when you’re not around to witness it lmaoo.
° Much like Curly, Tim will do something just to frighten you a little. It’s really so you come sit in his lap or hold onto him. There’s that wild look in his eyes, a mischievous simper donning his features, “Don’t even fuckin’ think about it!” You warn with a pointed finger.
° “S’that supposed to fend me off, tuts?” He says, backing you up slowly against a wall.
° A chase will ensue and Tim always wins. His prize? Throwing you over his shoulder and slapping you ass like a champ, lmaooo!
° Everything is spontaneous, but Tim tends to be more relaxed when you’re around. You wanna grab a bite to eat at The Dingo after? Sweet, let's do it! But you’re buying since it was your idea fjdjdfjkfjdjffdj.
Two-bit Matthews:
° Oh, pray to whatever God exists, because this will be eventful! Two-bit is a social butterfly, so not only is he chatting to you, but making others laugh in the process. He’s also extremely slick so he’s buttering up unsuspecting stall managers for good deals, but they know him by now. They aren’t fooled.
° Can’t go to the carnival or fair without Two-bit stealing something and plonking it right into your hands a ways away. “How did you-. Babe, take this back!”
° “Is that an order, officer? I say, if you handcuff me in the backseat of your car, I might just do what you say.” He grins all funny into your ear. “What am I gonna do with ya?” You inquire with a laugh. “Beats me. You’re the one with the stolen goods. I didn’t do zilch. Hey Officer!” He calls over the heads of the crowd, only for you to grab his hand and yank him down a small opening. “Shut the fuck up, Keith! That ain’t funny.” But Two is already rolling around on the ground laughing.
° He probably takes you into the House of Mirrors, and you guys just spend most of your time either hiding from and scaring each other, or doing that to other people. Two-bit loves the mirrors where you stand a certain way and it makes you super small and wide or tall and skinny. He pulls the dumbest faces in the glass. He's so easily amused (and so are you).
° Yes, he did walk into a mirror and almost knock himself out cold. Call in the cavalry, a.k.a. The gang: We got a man down! fuijdkfhjsdfbjdfdfkj
° You spent the next eight hours in the ER waiting to get his nose set because he broke it. “Talk about a knockout…” You mumble halfway through a yawn.
° “Aw shoot! This ain’t shit. Y'should’ve seen me in a dance off with Steve three years back. Now that guy can kick like a donkey!”
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