#Felix is awake because he’s having a crisis of the heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alder-reid · 3 years

Text

Part II.

Thomas.

They let him out of the room only after he was quiet for a few consecutive hours and malleable with the devastation he was soaking in.

He was led to a small room at the back of the Peacekeeper station, occupied only by two chairs and a table between them. There was a single, long fluorescent light overhead, coloring the room with a clinical, harsh white glow. He was given orders, something he was getting used to. Stay calm. Stay put. Drink this.

His attention only returned when Felix walked into the room. Alder had always respected him. Felix had every trait he envied-- even keeled, principled, certain in his decisions. Alder often wondered if he even had it in him to stay as calm as Felix did in the face of crisis, and often thought to himself he’d make a far better Games mentor than Alder could ever be. He was practical right down to his close-cropped haircut, and something about his graying hair and lines around his eyes inclined Alder to trust his experience.

Today, however, not even Felix’s usual steady presence was calming the storm raging in him. “Why aren’t we going after him?” he demanded immediately, standing so suddenly the water in his glass sloshed over the sides and onto his hands.

“Alder--”

“They took him!”

“They took several--” “So we have to get them back!”

“I know you’re ang--”

“Hell yes I’m angry!”

A terse moment of silence stretched between them, only broken by the dull thud of Alder’s heart in his ears and his quick breaths filling the space between them.

Felix then sat, slowly, gesturing for Alder to do the same. When it became evident Alder wouldn’t do that, he continued with a sigh.

“I’m sorry about what happened to Maverick. We all are. We have every reason to believe that he’s alive, but it’s because he has information and they can keep him hostage. For you. It’s to walk you into a trap.” Felix sternly peered over his nose at him.

Alder stared back, mouth open to rebuke this, but he was right, wasn’t he? Suddenly, he felt stupid. He was reacting exactly how they wanted him to, and hell, he was still pissed enough about it that he wasn’t even sure he cared that he was playing into their hands.

“Great, so we can use that to our advantage. What the fuck are we going to do about it?” he snapped back finally, unsatisfied with Felix’s sympathies and logic.

“Sit,” Felix insisted again.

“I’m not going to fucking--”

“-- Please sit, and we’ll talk.”

With a huff, Alder dropped down into the chair to appease him. Only because he prioritized knowing how they were getting Maverick back more than proving a point by standing.

“Like I said, he was certainly taken alive. Someone like Maverick they’d be far too careful to let die, at least not in such a… pedestrian way.”

Alders stomach clenched into tight knots, knowing fully the preferred method for that avenue would be public execution. He had to close his eyes for a moment at the roll of nausea accompanying an intrusive vision of Maverick on the steps of the Tower, just like last summer.

“But,” Felix said, trying to catch Alder’s gaze again. “But it means we have time. It means that we can continue with our mission, and doubtless he’s in the Capitol as we move through the plans here. We have intel on where high profile rebels are being held. His best chance is our success here, in Two, in the next days and weeks.”

Alder blinked in disbelief. “You’re suggesting we leave him there,” he realized in horror, eyes wide. “You’re suggesting we let them all stay there.”

“Yes,” he replied patiently, though with no joy. “I am. Anything else is suicide. To us and to the cause. We’re so close.”

“How can you can fucking live with this?” Alder spat back. “They’ll torture them. Kill some of them. You know that.”

Felix’s expression fell almost imperceptibly, just enough for a glimmer of sadness to glint behind his eyes before returning to normal. “We have all made sacrifices. I’m sorry. Maverick knew this was a possibility when he joined, just as you did. You need to accept that we can’t help him. He wouldn’t want you to.”

“You’re wrong,” Alder snarled. He stood very suddenly, slamming the glass down on the table beside him. It landed on its edge, tipping and spilling its contents before tumbling to the ground and shattering at their feet. Cold water soaked into his shoes. “You don’t know a single fucking thing about Maverick, and you’re wrong.”

“Maybe. However, I’m the commander, so it’s my decision, and my risk to assume” said Felix, unperturbed. “It’s not a bloodless process. But this is how we win. This is how we end all of this. This is how you get justice for what happened to your family, for what happened to you, Alder.”

The evenness in his voice, his cool logic only grated more at Alder’s nerves. He wanted Felix to scream back at him, give him the fight he wanted. “Fuck you. Whatever,” he muttered, tearing open the door and storming down the hallway, leaving Felix alone with a shattered glass and wet tile floor.

***

Felix must have permitted his release, because from there he was allowed to freely move about the Peacekeeper station with the rest of the rebels. Maybe he thought some routine would soothe him. Maybe he thought if he socialized, he might feel better. Maybe the idea was that limiting his privileges would only piss him off more.

Whatever the reasoning, when they rationed dinner in what looked like a staff kitchen, he took a spot alone in the corner of the room.

Without Maverick there, he felt like a ghost. All he could think about was where he was now, what they might be doing to him. Whether he was still alive for any of that to matter at all.

There were other ghosts in the room too, picking at their meals, isolated from the conversations around them. To the rest of the group they were invisible, but to Alder it was as if they were spotlighted. Their expressions shared the pain of loss and unknown that was scooping out his insides until there was seemingly nothing left, except it dug and dug and dug for more.

Appetite something near nonexistent, he wordlessly gave his tray of food to the nearest table and left.

Thoughts of Maverick tortured, captive, hurt kept gnawing at him as he was given a bedroll and free range to claim his corner during first watch. As ridiculous as it was, he missed Trouble horribly as he lay there in the dark, trying to grapple with the fact that his worst nightmare had manifested. He had, in fact, ruined Maverick’s life too. Trouble felt like the only being in this world that might not judge him for all of the missteps that had allowed this to happen, if only for being too stupid to know. He suspected if Trouble could count his sins, he’d leave him too. He closed his eyes and tried to find sleep. His body and mind were exhausted, but the pain in his chest and the vision of Maverick on the Tower steps behind a firing squad of Peacekeepers kept him awake. When the time came for his shift for watch, he was relieved.

Ten days dragged on to the cadence of fighting, meals, watch shifts, terrible sleep. The Captiol tried to bomb out the building twice, but it did little more than shake it-- it seemed that it was fortified against that very kind of attack, and infiltration had never been considered. As the days marched on, Alder became more and more restless, itching for forward momentum. He spent his free time trying to force his mind to invent solutions, ways he could get to wherever Maverick was and break him out. They all seemed to dead end at Felix’s words: You need to accept that we can’t help him. He wouldn’t want you to.”

Strategy meetings occurred daily, continued to wander into territories he felt conflicted about. They needed to take this hospital through violent force, yes. But it was crucial to breaking a central Capitol communication network and saving their own injured. Or there might be casualties in a residential area if the timing worked out wrong, but it would separate Capitol and Thirteen forces to double their chances of success. It was a game of weakening the Capitol by cutting off the lines that fed them, clothed them, defended them one by one by one, and in Two it was more important than anywhere else, meaning there was less room for moral questioning. He told himself, over and over again, what Maverick had said to him on the bathroom floor when he confessed about what had happened to Olympia’s mother. We live in a bad world and you’re trying to make it better. Success wouldn’t come without some destruction and death, not when the Capitol dealt in guns and soldiers. They’d only keep killing more children in the Games if they didn’t stop them, quitting now wasn’t bloodless either.

So he tried to not question. Not hesitate. Follow commands. He helped take the streets, the hospital. He tried to not remember the terrified look in the eyes of doctors, nurses, civilians as they stared at him, wide eyed and hands high as he stepped into rooms over the bodies of the innocent. Alder wasn’t used to being looked at with so much fear, it made him want to drop the weapon and rip his mask off and scream It’s only me, it’s just me, I won’t hurt anyone, I could never.

But that wasn’t really true, was it?

He’d been summoned the morning after the hospital’s capture for another strategy talk. He’d expected it to be the routine debrief but when he entered the room it was occupied with the appointed heads of each squad rather than his peers. Immediately suspicious, he hovered in the doorway as if preparing to run, eyes flitting face to face, eventually landing on Felix. “What is this?” he asked. “A promotion.” Felix gestured to the empty seat at the table. “Join us.”

#part ii. thomas #126 #self para #ft. maverick #at-home #ah126

4 notes · View notes

chaeryybomb · 4 years

Text

stray kids as anime boys: bang chan [part 1] [part 2]

✎ᝰ┆bang chan as the sports captain

(feat. stray kids && some of the 97liners)

listen

this is the only role I am 100% convince chan will be in an anime

u can't change my mind ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ

S O let's get into it

what sports captain is he??

the question should be what sports captain is he not

d-does that make sense?? HDHS U GET WHAT I MEAN

look chan is build™ with muscles (and brains) he's gonna use those muscles

for s p o r t s

"chan u can't join all the sports club"

“watch me felix”

ya boi tried out for every sports club available in school and he got into to every one of them

THANKFULLY felix made him reject some(most) of them bc chan already doesn't sleep enough

everyone say thank u felix

so chan is in the volleyball and basketball club

and he's the volleyball captain!!!

chan is the secret weapon lemme tell u that

his spikes?? they can BREAK A WALL

so if u see chan practicing spikes pls be careful

avoid him

avoid the gym in general

unless ur asking for a concussion SKSKS

no joke there's a dent in one of the gym's wall bc he spiked too hard

his excuse was "bambam ur supposed to block it!"

"I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE CHRISTOPHER!!!"

so how does that apply to u dear reader

well, ur not a huge sports fan

u rather stay at home and watch netflix than go under that cursed fireball u call a sun

but yk who is a huge sports fan???

ur best friends chaeyeon and lisa!

well technically bc chaeyeon is dating jaehyun who's also on the volleyball team

and lisa swears she doesn't but obviously she's there to look at jungkook

"y/n! there's a game after school today, and you're coming with us to watch it"

"just admit u wanna look at jungkook and go"

"WITH WHAT PROOF????"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES LALISA"

"HHHHHHH CHAEYEON, Y/N IS BULLYING ME AGAIN"

Σ(°ロ°) "WHAT DO U MEAN AGAIN??? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO PUT CHILLI PEPPERS IN MY SANDWICH HUHH LISA WHOOOO—"

mama chaeyeon saves the day, "alright children no more fighting"

"SHE STARTED IT FIRST!"

"FIGHT ME LISA" (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ

in the spongebob narrative voice 2 hours later

u find urself in sandwiched between chaeyeon and lisa, sitting on one of the gym's bleachers

chan and the boys are down there warming up

and u can't help but drift ur gaze to a certain (crispy)blond hair boy, who's stretching at the moment

maybe u were starting too long, but lisa nudges ur elbow with a sly smirk

"ohohoho y/n, what do u see??"

u shove her elbow away and glare at her, "ur about to see my fists in a minute"

the entire game ur gaze was set on chan and u don't even know why

jokes on u reader, it was the anime magic kicking in

up until the second half of the game, u had the sudden need to go to the bathroom and who are u to deny ur bladder dhhshd

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you tell lisa and stood up to squeeze ur way out of the bleachers

ur earbuds almost burst due to all the screaming dhshhd

but hey! u successfully made it to the end

＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／

u make ur way towards the exit when u hear lisa and chaeyeon scream your name

and suddenly the world went black

y/n?? y/n??? oh my god she fuckin dead

maybe u regain conscious for a few seconds bc the last thing u remembered was a pair of feet running and the scent of someone's sweat mixed with cologne

yk the typical anime shit dhsjdjs

when u wake up, ur laying down a bed and ur in a room where u don't recognise

"holy shit y/n, you're awake! lisa go get the nurse!" chaeyeon exclaims from beside you and you hear the door close

you squint your eyes, trying to adjust from the bright light

chaeyeon's face comes into view and she has a worried expression on

"w-what happened?? where am I??" you ask she helps you sit up on the bed

"you're in the nurse's office!"

"why,,, am I in the nurse's office?" you furrow your eyebrows at chaeyeon

"well you see—"

the door slams open to reveal lisa and the nurse

"oh good, y/n you're awake," the nurse smiles at you

she walks toward you and gently grabs your chin with her gloved hand to examine your face

"fortunately nothing is broken but that's gonna leave a bruise on your forehead for a while, you took quite a hit."

"a hit???" u furrow ur eyebrows even deeper if you could sjdjsk

"yeah! you got hit by a volleyball!! you should've seen what happened, the ball went flying like WOOOSH at you and BAM u were knocked out!!" lisa explains with many hand gestures

"it was a good thing that chan boy carried you here, you were out cold," the nurse adds.

wait

Σ(゜゜) c-chan???

CHAN CARRIED YOU HERE???

u don't even notice your face starts to heat up until the nurse looks at you with concern again

she places her hand against ur forehead and says, "oh my, you're heating up, I think you got a fever coming—"

"no! no, I'm completely fine!" you reassure the nurse

you bring your hands up to your cheeks and rub it harshly and slap it a few times in hopes the redness will go away

HAH SIKE UR BLOOD SAYS NO

the nurse let's you stay in the office for awhile, thank god school was already over

lisa and chaeyeon, like the best friends they were, stayed with u and walked u back home

the next morning when u wake up—

━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

HOLY SHIT THE NURSE WAS NOT KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID IT WAS GONNA LEAVE A BRUISE

THERE'S A HUGE ASS BUMP ON THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK ARE U GONNA COVER THAT UP

U ARE THIS )( CLOSE IN CUTTING UR BANGS AT 7 IN THE MORNING JUST TO COVER UR FOREHEAD* U WOULD'VE IF UR BRAT OF A BROTHER DIDN'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR

"y/n hurry up you're gonna make us late!!"

"SHUT UP HYUNJIN I'M HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS AT THE MOMENT"

"YOU CAN HAVE IT IN THE CAR"

in all honesty u should be thanking hyunjin for saving u from the future regrets

otw out of the bathroom u curse at hyunjin, who sticks his tongue out in return, and grab one of ur beanies from ur dresser and slip it on

"why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in the middle of summer??"

"it's called fashion hyunjin, look it up"

(hyunjin, snorting) "please, we all know I'm the fashionable one in this family"

so yes, u walk into school with a beanie on ur head, in the middle of summer

it definitely caught weird looks from people because again, why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in this heat???

it's equivalent to having a "I'm stupid" sign taped on ur forehead

u walk into class, already tired from everything and everyone and first period hasn't even started yet!

what a mood

chaeyeon looks at you weirdly and opens her mouth to ask but you stop her

"don't. a lot of people already asked," you groaned, pointing at the black beanie on your head, specifically the spot where u got hit at

chaeyeon looks at you with sympathy and pats your head

when lunch rolls on, lisa basically slams into ur classroom

"why are u wearing a beanie??"

"because I can and it's a free country!!!" u snap at her

"geez fine," lisa puts her hands up

(lisa, mumbling under her breath) "someone woke up from the wrong side of bed today"

"HEY I HEARD THA—"

"OKAAAAY let's go I wanna get pizza bread before it's gone," chaeyeon interrupts aka stopping another fight from happening by hooking her arms through yours and lisa’s* (¬､¬) hnnggg u win today jung chaeyeon

u turn to walk out of the door when u stop in your footsteps

to see the PERSON WHO CAUSE UR FOREHEAD BUMP BRENDA

YES U NAMED IT BRENDA IN THE CAR

IF SHE'S GONNA STAY ON UR FOREHEAD FOR A WHILE

AT LEAST SHE SHOULD HAVE A NAME

AND SHE'S NOT EVEN PAYING RENT

y/n's forehead:

brenda the bump: it's a free real estate

anyways

the three of u stop and stare at chan

like hullo, why u here???

chan coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. "um, can I speak with y/n?"

chaeyeon and lisa exchange a look and shrugs, "yeah sure," they say and pushes u out of the door

and u stumbled into his arms

again, the anime shit™ working its magic

u immediately push urself off chan and clasp ur hands behind ur back while chan takes a few steps back

"so,,," you start

"oh right! uh, I'm sorry for yesterday, hitting u with the ball and everything"

"oh! it's fine, it really is!" you assure him

"no, it's not! lemme treat you to lunch, it's the least I can do," chan says

"nononono you really don't have to!" you shake ur head at him

"please!" he begs, "I hurt you and I should do something for you"

"n—"

"JUST SAY YES" lisa yells from across the hall

you whip ur head towards her direction and flip her the bird

chaeyeon mouths an apology and drags lisa away, but her laughter rings through the empty hallway

you turn back to chan who's looking at you with pleading eyes

"pleaseee" (´･ᴗ･`)

GOD HE'S ADORABLE

"fine!"

"YAY"

"but!" u wag ur finger at him, "ur only allowed to buy me chocolate milk"

"yes!!" he cheers and drags u off to the school's convenience store to buy you a bottle of chocolate milk

u thought he was gonna get u the cheap one but nO

HE GETS U THE EXPENSIVE ONE

THE ONE THAT COSTS LIKE 3 DOLLARS

FIRST OF ALL, CHOCOLATE MILK SHOULD NOT BE THAT EXPENSIVE

FUCK CAPITALISM

secondly, if u thought this was a one time thing

hAH READER YOU ARE SO SO SO WRONG

it soon becomes a regular thing and every morning, there is a chocolate milk on ur desk with a cute stick it note saying "good morning ♡´･ᴗ･`♡"

GAH UR HEART

and everyday after school, chan walks up to u and ask "hey y/n! did u get the chocolate milk?"

and he will pout if u show him the untouched bottle of milk

so u make sure that u drink it during lunch where he can see u drinking it

and it makes his insides all mushy and squishy

and that escalates to him waiting by ur locker every morning!!

he waits for u by ur locker and when u walk in

he fucking beams at you

the sun who??? u only know a bang chan

he hands u the chocolate milk and greets u

"good morning, y/n!"

and ur hearts does it usual schedule bang-chan-caused-flips

AND THAT ESCALATES TO U GOING TO HIS GAMES

"I thought u hated these things??"

"well I do but chan asked me to come so—"

(lisa, wiggling her eyebrows) "oh chan huh"

"hdshhdshutup"

so here u are again, sandwiched in between lisa and chaeyeon

o wow ur feeling a sense of deja vu

chan spots u in the crowd and runs over to u

"try not to get hit by any balls this time," he grins as he ruffles ur hair

"friendly reminder, I got hit by a ball from you," u retort and smack his hand away

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP ANYMORE"

"I CROSSED MY FINGERS BITCH"

the coach whistles for chan to get into place and u grab onto his arm, shocking both of u

o wow u got bold moves there reader

"uh, good luck out there," u smile at him

chan's heart doubles over in LOVE and smiles back at you "thanks!"

he runs back to the team, who are all looking at him with a sly look

"so when are u gonna ask y/n out?"

"i'll purposely aim the ball at ur head mingyu"

tbh u don't even know much about volleyball and all u see are balls being hit back and forth

im writing the match based on what I've seen my school's team done and it may be inaccurate pls correct me

sometimes u involuntary wince when u see chan spikes and the ball bounces off the floor bc the other team failed to block it

u pity the floor

it's the last match and both teams are tied

chaeyeon is gripping onto ur arm for dear life bc out of the three of you, she's the only who understands the most about volleyball

both teams are fairly powerful

they have a really strong setter aka lee hyunjae

boy may not look like it but he's strong!!!

the coach whistles and jaehyun serves the ball

jacob from the other team returns the ball and it goes flying across the net

in a blink of an eye, chan yells "mine!" and he spikes the ball with force* hyunjae rushes to block it but misses by a milimetre and the ball bounces off the floor

the entire gymnasium erupts into cheers

and u are pulled up from ur seat by a screaming chaeyeon

they won???

OH MY GOD THEY WON DJSJDJ

chaeyeon runs down to congratulate her boyfriend and u follow in suit

but u run straight into chan's arms to hug him

"congrats!" u squeal as he lifts u off the ground and spins u around

when he sets u down, the both of u finally realizes the position ur in and back away from each other awkwardly

"ahaha,,, congratulations!!" u tell him

chan grins at u "what can I say, ur my lucky charm"

ur cheeks start to heat up again and chan laughs

the rest of the team comes over to drag chan to the changing room, leaving u alone with lisa and chaeyeon

once the boys disappear behind the doors, the two girls turn around to look at u

"what was that???" lisa asks, referring to the hug between u and chan, as she whacks ur arm

she tryna whack the answer out of u HDHS

"STOP HITTING ME WOMAN THAT HURTS!!!"

"NOT UNTIL U TELL ME WHAT WAS THAT BETWEEN U AND BANG CHAN, Y/N"

"it was a hug! nothing more!" u say, more like ur trying to convince it was nothing more

"that was not just a hug," lisa mimics ur voice "that was one of those couples hug chaeyeon and jaehyun does!"

(chaeyeon, pipping up from the side) "she's right!"

"he totally likes you!" lisa smirks at u

"no he does not!"

"uh yes, he does! jaehyun says so!" chaeyeon says in a matter-of-fact tone

"and you—" lisa points her index finger at u "—like him too!"

"WITH WHAT PROOF???"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES HWANG Y/N"

before u can continue bicker and PROVE THAT U DO NOT LIKE BANG CHAN

jaehyun comes into view and says "hey y/n, chan is waiting for u outside, he has something to tell u"

[ part 2 ]

101 notes · View notes

maatryoshkaa · 5 years

Text

Bad Boy | Seo Changbin

Summary: Trouble comes in the form of neck tattoos, lip rings, and Seo Changbin, the school bad boy who, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stay away from.

Genre: fluff, high school!au, bad boy!changbin, perfect student!reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Pairing: seo changbin x reader

Features: done with changbin!bang chan, voyeurist!minho, 3rd wheel!jisung, baby!jeongin, woojin, felix, hyunjin

Warnings: mild swearing

Requested: 1: “I’ll keep you warm, hold me closer”; 4: “I was wondering how long you two were going to make out before you realized you weren’t alone”; 18: “Stay the night”.

Okay writing this gave me a f a t crisis because writing Binnie as a bad boy made me laugh -- so rather than your typical hardass, stone-cold mafia bad boy, Binnie in this is more of a delinquent, cocky sort of kid, you know? If y’all want that stone-cold bad boy tho, feel free to request and I’ll give it another shot ahaha sorry about that! <3 enjoyy

Friday, 2:49 PM

“Seo Changbin, if I see you sleeping in my class one more time--”

The boy sat up and stretched, a lazy, crooked smile spreading across his lips. His dark eyes were barely open, but the sleep circles that ringed them made his stare even more intense.

“Sorry, Ma’am, your voice is just...so soothing.”

You watched as the biology teacher glowered and continued her lesson, your gaze straying to the male who had spoken with so little care. Everyone knew about Seo Changbin, the school bad boy, and his notorious friends. Everyone either wanted to fight them, sleep with them, or just plain stayed away from them.

You were the third. You were just in high school to get your degree, stuff some knowledge in your brain if you were lucky, and stay out of trouble’s lane. But for you, trouble came in the form of neck tattoos and lip rings cuffed around a sly smile for Seo Changbin, and you took the feeling he gave you every time you saw him as a sign to have as little to do with him as possible.

Perhaps the universe had other plans in mind, however, when you found yourself in the middle of a biology test -- science never really was Changbin’s forte, was it? -- and felt a cool hand behind you graze your arm, making you turn around.

“What’s the answer to #4?” He asked, barely making an effort to whisper.

“I-I can’t tell you...this is a test--?”

Changbin cocked his head to the side, tongue running over his lip ring in mock thought. “Hm. Pretty please?”

You opened your mouth incredulously to reply. “I--”

“y/n l/n, Seo Changbin, I do not tolerate cheating on tests. Detention for the both of you, after school!”

And that was how it began.

5:29 PM, later

Your patience was wearing thin as you scribbled out your homework. Changbin had been making paper airplanes of various sizes out of his textbook pages and throwing them onto your desk from across the room, each one with small notes like “sorry :p”, “still mad?”, and “but seriously, what was the answer the #4?”.

You were this close to flipping a desk over his dark, acorn-shaped head when the clock finally struck 5:30 PM and detention was over. Practically leaping to your feet and packing up, you began searching for the keys to your car, beginning to panic when they were nowhere to be found. Changbin slung his own black duffel bag over his shoulders as he watched you. You felt him come up beside you.

“C’mon, I’ll give you a ride.”

You glared at him. “What makes you think I’m going to let you?”

“Just think of it as a heartfelt apology.” The corner of Changbin’s lips twitched. “Loosen up a little, sweetheart.”

The rest of his friends were already in the empty school parking lot, sitting on the roof of a navy car. You recognized some of them--the oldest one was Chan, the unspoken leader of the group; the tall one sitting on the hood was Hyunjin. The blond one with freckles was the transfer student, Felix, who the freshmen were all over, and then there was Minho, infamous for having slept with one half of the school, and leaving the other half pining.

Changbin gave a short wave in greeting before leading you to his motorcycle. You gulped, feeling your palms begin to sweat at the thought of riding it, your stomach somersaulting. As if noticing, the dark-haired boy helped you on, hands firm and surprisingly soothing before taking his own place in front of you. The engine hummed to life, the sudden jerking motion making you yelp--and soon, you didn’t know if the butterflies in your stomach were from the motorcycle, or being pressed so close to Seo Changbin.

The brisk spring wind sent shivers down your spine as he swerved around a corner and picked up the speed, neighborhood lights and darkening sky becoming a blur. You shivered and shrank back into your jacket. Noticing, Changbin looked over his shoulder at you.

“I’ll keep you warm. Hold me closer.”

You could feel your face heat up at his words. Tentatively, you tightened your grip around his waist before you felt him impatiently slip your hands beneath his leather jacket. Your palms were now pressed against his warm stomach, fingers gripping his thin t-shirt for dear life. Something about the smoother motion of the motorcycle as it sped up on the freeway, and the sudden warmth washing over you lulled you into a light state of sleep, unable to stop your drooping head from resting on his shoulder.

Changbin turned slightly at the feeling, heart clenching at your soft, sleeping face before forcing himself to turn back around and speed, eyes narrowed and ears red, to your house.

6:02 PM

Changbin shook you awake before helping you off his Harley Davidson with a strange gentleness that contrasted his earlier, cockier attitude. Something in the air had changed with the twilight sky, and you thanked him, tripping over your words. You ran inside, quickly shutting the door before peeking out from the curtains at your driveway.

The dark-haired boy stood in the driveway a little longer, staring after the door you had slammed with an unfathomable expression before hopping back on his motorcycle and driving away.

But boy, oh boy are the two of you whipped.

It was like the feeling you’d always had about Seo Changbin had been amplified tenfold. But if it was your gut trying to warn you away from him, why were your hands so sweaty, your face so red and hot, your heartbeat pounding in your ears?

Changbin had always known he felt different about you -- the straight-A, model student with an intriguing personality. Something about you made him want to get to know you better, but he always stopped himself, knowing what kind of reputation hung over him. He knew you were too good for him -- after all, girls like you deserved to be loved, held, respected -- and not by some delinquent. So why was it that even after all the girls Woojin tried introducing him to, all the half-hearted hookups Minho had suggested, his eyes still lingered only on you? It was as if, rather than washing away his feelings for you, each one-night-stand had just made him more and more sure that he only wanted you.

Monday, 9:27 AM

“Let’s take up your homework, shall we? I want all of you to form groups and share your Romeo and Juliet analyses with each other. You will then present the main points of your combined ideas to the class; now go on.”

The language arts teacher fixed her eyes on the two dark figures at the back of the class, who’d made no effort to move at her instructions. “Seo Changbin, Han Jisung. Partner up with y/n.”

You fumbled through the contents of your bag for your report as the two boys took the seats beside you, Changbin watching you with muted amusement.

“Lost something again?”

“Shut up, Seo Changbin, I spent hours on that report--”

You could see Jisung smirk in his peripheral vision, your ears beginning to burn.

“Something been on your mind lately? You seem distracted by something.” He flicked his gaze over at Changbin, who had begun to help you look. “Or someone--”

“I said, shut up--”

The teacher clapped her hands. “Time’s up. y/n’s group, why don’t you go first?”

“Well, that’s my cue to go to the bathroom,” Jisung deadpanned before disappearing out the door, leaving you staring at Changbin in increasing dread. This was the boy who wasn’t awake for half his classes, let alone did his homework. How on earth were you going to--

“Our analysis topic focuses on Romeo’s character arc in the first two Acts,” Changbin answered, standing up. “Specifically, his sentiments when he falls in love with Juliet. He thinks he’s been in love before, but this conception shatters the night he meets her.

“The descriptions of his feelings change from infatuation to true love the moment he sees Juliet at the masquerade,” Changbin continued as you looked up at him in disbelief. “Romeo deems himself unfit to be in the presence of a beauty as great as Juliet’s. Compared to her, he is a pilgrim; a mundane, wretched man,” his gaze caught yours, intense as ever, “Whereas she...may well be a saint, too good for this world, the very light that teaches the torches how brightly to burn. Hence, we conclude that those...those are Romeo’s current emotions.”

He held your stunned gaze as the teacher thanked him, before raising a slit eyebrow at you. You finally remembered--the one subject “bad boy” Seo Changbin excelled at -- writing, and language arts.

You shook your head and looked down, trying to stomach the familiar sinking feeling in your gut. Oh, man, now you were sure. So you’ve had the longest crush on the school’s bad boy, Seo Changbin.

Weeks later, Sunday 3:37 PM

Maybe it was the teachers trying to save the delinquent’s falling grades and apathetic attitude, or maybe even the universe was getting tired of you two pining for each other, but you found yourself partnered in more and more projects with him. What had started out as quiet tutoring sessions in the library quickly snowballed into late-night phone calls from Changbin sheepishly asking you to help him cram for a test. And nobody could quite say when exactly the excuse of talking to each other just to study dissolved, and random, casual texts between you two became what you looked forward to each evening. Still, something deep down nagged at you to stay away, to not expect much -- after all, you two were friends at most; Changbin’s free pass to better grades at the very least.

But you found yourself caring more and more about the bad boy who had a way with words, this so-called bad boy who fell asleep by last period but seemed to be genuinely trying when you explained how cell division worked to him for the umpteenth time.

And the rest of the school would have been blind not to notice how Seo Changbin changed in front of you, how his usual dark, brooding expression would soften, cheeks filling with a light dust of colour whenever he saw you. How he’d stand a little straighter, clear his throat, a genuine smile replacing his usual crooked smirk.

Maybe that was why when you saw him trudging down the sidewalk today, on your way to the grocery store, you stopped dead in your tracks.

Changbin had his head down and hands shoved in his pockets, eyes dark as a tempest. When you squinted, you saw harsh scrapes on his jaw, dried blood on a split bottom lip.

“Changbin, what the hell happened to you?”

He froze, hooded eyes widening like a deer in headlights’ as you ran to him, hands gingerly stroking the wounds. He hadn’t intended for you to see him like this. He never wanted you to see him like this. Beginning to panic, you frantically dug into your bag, looking for bandages, anything, before you felt his hand grasp your wrist. His knuckles were worse, rimmed with red and purple bruises.

“I’m fine. What are you gonna do, put a Band-Aid on my lip?” He chuckled.

“I--you--who did this to you?” You stammered, still in shock. You knew him and his friend group had a reputation for getting in fights, but you hadn’t ever seen Changbin like this--you’d assumed it was just another rumour. Swallowing hard, you fixed him with a wary look. “What happened?”

At this, Changbin looked away. He knew if he kept it from you, you would assume the worst -- but if he told you what had really happened, would that be any better?

As if on cue, a navy car pulled up beside you, its window rolling down to reveal Chan behind the wheel, and Woojin in the front seat.

“Oy, Changbin!” Chan narrowed his eyes at the younger boy’s injuries. “The hell, again? Hop in, we’re sending everyone home. And bring y/n, too -- maybe she’ll keep you out of trouble for once.”

Most of their friends were already in the car, leaving you between Felix and a younger, red-haired boy named Jeongin, who sipped a carton of banana milk and looked you up and down unabashedly before Felix kicked him.

Needless to say, the atmosphere was tense.

Chan pulled up to each boy’s house one by one, before reaching his own. “You can drive yourself back fine, Bin? See you later, aight?”

He flashed you a look that said something like, take care of him. Sorry. before leaving the two of you in the front seat, Changbin behind the wheel. Sighing, you turned to him, his eyes a thousand shades of guilt and apologetic under your gaze. “Tell me what happened.”

Something about how soft and low your voice was made the lump in his throat give way. “I...someone...I got mad at someone.”

You took a deep breath, looking down at his bruised knuckles before running your fingers over the swelling, feeling Changbin shiver at your touch.

“These douchebags were talking shit about you,” he continued, voice dropping to a mumble. “So I kind of...got mad, okay?”

Watching his pained face, you could only imagine what they could have said -- you were no stranger to your classmates’ offhand comments, which had multiplied ever since you began getting closer to Seo Changbin. From teacher’s pet, to attention whore who’s trying to sleep with the school bad boy and the rest of his popular friends -- you’d practically heard it all.

“You don’t have to get mad at that.”

“How could I not, when I care so much about you?”

You looked up, taken aback. For a moment, he looked almost angry, his expression was so intense. Changbin’s face was filled with every emotion at once, black eyes glowing under the rays of the golden hour.

His fingers tightened their grip around yours, eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips as if waiting for permission. “You can tell me to stop,” he whispered, before finally closing the distance between the two of you to press his bruised lips to yours.

It was like the years of confusion, mixed feelings and misinterpreted signs finally cleared away, leaving you breathless and wanting more, wondering how in the world you had ignored your feelings for Seo Changbin for this long. You suddenly found yourself wondering how anyone could think that this boy was nothing better than a burn-out delinquent who only cared about himself -- this boy, who felt and loved so strongly he wouldn’t hesitate to fight those who looked down on the people he cared about.

You pulled away only when you remembered the cut on his lip. “Doesn’t it hurt?” You asked, voice soft and catching in your throat at the look he gave you, forehead pressed against yours, like you were the only thing he wanted in the world.

“No,” he murmured, “you always seem to make all the pain disappear.” And he leaned in to connect your lips again, the kiss catching fire as he buried his fingers in your hair, the cool rings on his fingers brushing the shell of your ear and sending shivers down your spine. Changbin found himself relishing every soft sound you made as his tongue explored your mouth, your fingers running over the dark tattoos that curled around his collarbones -- when you heard the rustle of paper unwrapping behind you, and jumped.

Lee Minho was sprawled lazily in the backseat, a half-unwrapped Subway sandwich in his hands. “I was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realized you weren’t alone.”

Seeing your fire-red, speechless expressions, he continued, “What? Carry on, it looked like it was getting good. If I’m not mistaken, it was around the part when Changbin was about to cu--alright, alright, I’m going, I’m going, stop hitting me Bin--”

Nevertheless, Minho managed to flash you a catlike wink and finger guns before promptly hopping out and running towards Chan’s house like he was being chased by an axe murderer.

Sighing and sitting back down, mood more than slightly ruined, Changbin looked at you before the two of you began laughing uncontrollably.

8:02 PM

You ended up making Changbin drive to his house so you could properly treat his wounds. You two sat in the living room, a tall panel of windows letting in the sun’s waning golden light. First-aid kit busted open --

“Seo Changbin, I’m not even going to question why you have a First-Aid Kit on hand--”

“Live fast, die hard, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, not while I’m around, sweetheart.”

-- you pressed an ice pack to his bruised jaw, disinfecting the scrapes on his knuckles and chin before carefully bandaging them. Changbin kept shooting little lovestruck smirks at you, only smiling more wickedly after you told him to shut up and hold still or so help me, Seo Changbin.

“How in the world am I going to get home?” You wondered aloud after putting the First Aid kit away, staring at Changbin’s bruised knuckles. “I so don’t trust you to work your motorcycle in that condition.”

He smiled, pulling you down on the couch next to him. He was quiet for several moments, studying your expectant expression, before replying bluntly,

“Stay the night.”

You blinked, sure you’d heard wrong, and yet your heartbeat had jumped to your throat. “What?”

“You live nearly an hour’s walk away. Just stay here, tonight. With me.”

You could feel your face heating up, and Changbin smirked. “What are you thinking of? I’m exhausted, you’re exhausted. Let’s watch a movie, order take out, and fall asleep on the couch or something. You know, like a proper date.”

You felt your face flush again at the word date -- and that was exactly what you did, finding eventual peace in each other’s arms as the sunset winked at you from behind the darkening horizon.

Sunday, 9:02 AM

You woke up with your face pressed against Changbin’s chest, the thick blanket he’d fetched last night wrapped snugly around the two of you. The smell of last night’s Chinese food, still mildly pleasant, lingered in the air as you sat up slowly. You rubbed the lines his thin t-shirt had pressed against your cheek as you peered down at Changbin’s sleeping face. Even asleep, the sight of him stirred something in your chest and brought a smile to your lips. The thin morning sunlight filtering in and gracing his features made him seem little less than an angel, black hair falling over his long lashes, lips soft under the glinting cuff of his lip ring.

“What are you thinking?” Changbin’s voice roused you from your thoughts as he opened one eye and grinned sleepily at you.

“About how you’re not the bad boy they call you at all,” you replied, stroking the fading bruises on his chin. “You’re kind of even softer than that Romeo guy, you know.”

Changbin looked offended. “At least I didn’t spout a sonnet professing my undying love for you. But the sentiment was there, you know.”

“No,” you mused, “you kind of skipped that step and went straight for the kiss scene.”

“Well, if Minho had heard the confession I had in store for you, I wouldn’t have heard the end of it for years.”

You groaned at the memory. “Well, what did you have saved for me?”

“Oh, you know. That you’re perfect, beautiful, and make my heart stop, and that I know I don’t deserve you. But that I’m selfish enough to want you, anyways.”

Changbin pulled you and the blanket back down on top of him, making you cry out in surprise. Pressing a lazy kiss to your forehead, you felt him smile against your skin as you two fell back asleep -- just a misunderstood bad boy and the feisty model student, soaking up each other’s warmth on a Sunday morning.

2K notes · View notes

softlunars · 5 years

Text

cross one’s heart.

60 things ; things you said with clenched fists. — lee felix ; stray kids

gang au — gang leader!felix x reader

requested: [yes!]

you were well aware of the dark world you were thrust into — being involved with the leader of one of the most influential gangs in seoul. it never bothered you much; your fiancé had ordered protection to surround you at all hours of the day. nothing life-threatening has happened to you yet, hence you had no worries about the security of your life.

you met felix in high school. he was the resident “troublemaker.” the stench of cigarette smoke followed him everywhere - jokes would often circulate around the school about how “you could find him by following the smell of smoke. he reeks of it - wherever the smoke is, felix is.”

bruises were constantly blooming across his skin, as if he mindlessly jumped into fights every minute he was awake. he was quiet, mysterious - a carbon copy of the cliches you encountered in teen fiction books. felix lee was the embodiment of rebellion. the complete opposite of you.

if you were put on a graph, with the extremities of the graph labeled “high school prodigy” and “high school nightmare” respectively, you and felix would have millions of miles separating you two. this simple fact is the reasoning behind everyone’s shock when you two became a couple in the final year of high school.

the rebel and class president. what a cliche.

initially, you were oblivious to the criminal activity your then-boyfriend participated in. felix hid it well - you had to give him credit for that. on days he came home late, new bruises forming on his cheekbones, a dozen flowers would be your first sight. the bright arrangements distracted you - albeit momentarily - from the black eye reappearing, the cut above his eyebrow that released drops of blood; all the damage felix’s activities gave him as recompense. this didn’t last long, as you watched your boyfriend arrive home limping; as you watched him cradle his left arm close to his chest; as you watched the cuts on his face multiply in numbers.

felix knew he couldn’t keep his secret forever. it was only a matter of time until you would force it out of him. he was right. he knew he was right. one night, when he arrived home, blood staining his shirt around his stomach, you couldn’t keep yourself under rein.

he watched as you blew up, listened as your voice became hoarse from screaming, grimaced as tears began to fall from your eyes. he hated seeing you like this. seeing you so frustrated, so upset, so scared. it ate felix up that night. only when you started walking away, did he open his pandora’s box for you to see.

you were scared beyond belief when you listened to the horrors of your boyfriend’s “second life.” the worst circumstances started invading your thoughts as he continued to reveal everything to you. he could die. he could lose his life in the middle of an alleyway, and you wouldn’t know until some random stranger came to inform you at four in the morning. you were scared. not for yourself, but for felix.

when you expressed this to him, his eyes widened in shock. he had expected you to leave him on the spot, abandon him for the sake of your own safety. that would’ve been easier for the man to digest. hearing you tell him you were scared for him, scared something would happen to him, clutched his heart so tight he thought it would explode. you were staying. the last thing felix ever expected you to do.

you witnessed your boyfriend, who later became your fiance, rise through the ranks of his gang. you witnessed him become the leader of a substantial amount of people. you witnessed some evil acts - which hadn’t left your memories - that he committed.

you witnessed all of that and more. yet you still decided to stay.

this inevitably caused arguments. an abundance of them. felix would come home from another tiring day, his stature slouched, and you would begin to fret over him. of course, he’d let you, but when you began to pry, ask him why he looked so defeated - felix would erupt.

he hated the fact that he involved you in this - this mess of a thing he called his life. there was a reason he tried so desperately to keep his two realms separate. felix never wanted to see you hurt. he never wanted to be forced to bargain for your life. he never wanted to come home to an upturned house and a note asking for ransom - or it would be your life to pay. he never wanted any of that.

he watched his friends go through those moments. the stress that followed them until they set their loved one free. the dark circles that deepened under their eyes because they refused to sleep until their loved one came back. the aggressive temper they adopted. on rare occasions, he watched his friends break down, lose touch with reality, when they learned they were too late.

if anything happened to you, felix knew he would turn out worse than his friends had. he knew he’d lose his life, if it meant you kept yours. he knew all of this and so much more. the only thing that made sense in his mind was to keep you as far away from his criminal life as possible. when you finally figured out the reason behind felix’s late nights, the injuries that seemed to appear out of nowhere, why he’d bring flowers home every time he arrived later than usual - he almost lost his mind.

your safety wasn’t a guarantee anymore. your life wasn’t a guarantee anymore.

after that, felix wouldn’t let you leave the house without some sort of protection — a guard, pepper spray, some sort of weapon he taught you to handle. anything. the thought of losing you that became a reality made him paranoid beyond reasonable bounds. felix was already responsible for the hundreds of members under his gang. if losing the men that cycled in and out of his affiliation pained his heart, losing you would crush it.

this particular day, felix’s greatest fear almost sprung to life.

you ventured outside of the house, wishing only to take a walk around the streets of seoul. your fiancé already left for the day, parting from you with a promise to come back safely. you were left alone — something that usually never bothered you much. today, though, you felt like you were being choked by the looming silence at home. even your attempts to make some noise — playing music, singing loudly off key, everything — proved useless in lessening your restlessness.

hence, you took it upon yourself to relieve yourself from your stir-craziness. you grabbed a small knife, one that could easily be concealed, and a handgun to hide in the band of your jeans. this became a reflex, as felix constantly made you arm yourself before going somewhere. “you need protection, angel. especially when i, or any of my men, can’t be by your side.”

when you stepped into the blazing summer heat, swiftly finding your way to the nearest shopping district, you expected the day to pass smoothly without any bumps.

in retrospect, you should’ve watched your surroundings more closely. the crowded place you found yourself in was “under control” of a gang with a vengeance aimed at felix’s.

it was no secret that the notorious gang leader had a soft spot for you; every gang in seoul took quick notice of this as soon as he rose to take the title of gang leader. you were bookmarked. even when you were unaware of the gang activity surrounding you, rival gangs took it upon themselves to figure out who you were. felix knew this would happen as soon as he ascended to the “throne.” which only solidified his attempts at keeping his two worlds as far apart from each other as he could.

the universe worked against you today, as you found yourself trying to reach home quicker. while you were browsing a small pop-up shop, some men that you’d never been acquainted with had approached you. you knew something was up as they began to circle around you.

you were able to make an escape by shooting a blank into the air. the distance from your house seemed farther than it ever had before as you sprinted away.

by the time you slammed the door of your home behind you, you could barely catch your breath. this was the first actual time members of a rival gang approached you with intentions to hold you hostage. you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t shaken you up.

soon after you arrived home, the click of the front door echoed in your ears as felix walked into your shared space. someone alerted him of the crisis you were briefly part of, which sent the man into a frenzy, leading him to get home as soon as he could. fuck, he knew this was going to happen. he fucking knew.

felix approached you, and he felt his heart twist at your shaking form. “you’re okay, angel?”

you moved your head to stare blankly at your fiancé. “yeah — they got close, kinda. i got outta there though.” the empty laugh that followed your voice made anger and sadness rise up his throat.

“i told you, you would’ve been safer if you left.” he wasn’t lying; felix tried to convince you, on several occasions, to leave him before you got tangled up in his “fucked up life.” you never listened.

“stop saying that. i stayed ‘cause i love you, ‘lix.” your gaze hardened as you continued to look at him. his constant remarks about how you’d be safer without him, frankly, pissed you off. you stayed by his side for a reason.

“am i wrong though, (y/n)? you almost got kidnapped, for crying out loud! who knows how that could’ve ended?” felix’s voice began to gain volume. these arguments always worked him up quickly, and now that something almost happened to you, he couldn’t stop his anger from bubbling out.

“but it didn’t happen, ‘lix! i’m alive! i’m here, i’m breathing, i’m okay!”

“what if it wasn’t okay, (y/n)? what if you got fucking kidnapped and tied up? what if you got tortured because i couldn’t cough up some goddamn money? what if you fucking died before i got to you? what about that?!”

your glance dropped down to see your fiancé’s fists clenched, his fingernails digging into his palms. you reached over to grab one of his fists, putting both of your hands over it as you tried to gather your thoughts.

“that all… that all could’ve happened, sweetheart. anything could’ve happened. but it didn’t. nothing happened.”

“i know you’re scared that, one day, i’m gonna end up being held against you as some sort of ransom. and… i know it can happen. but we’ve been together for how long now, ‘lixie? three years. nothing’s happened.”

you watched as felix’s eyelids fluttered shut, as he exhaled a breath that he — you guessed — wasn’t aware he was holding. when his eyes opened again, meeting your gaze, his demeanor shifted. the man’s shoulders slouched, and his head slightly dropped down. his hands were still in the shape of fists, but his strength was slowly dissipating, leaving his hands to open up limply.

“i’m just scared… i don’t want anything to happen to you.” tears began to sting at your eyes as you took in felix’s broken tone. you lifted the hand you held up to your lips, placing a gentle kiss on the top of it.

“i’ll keep learning how to protect myself. and i won’t let anything happen to me, okay, ‘lixie? i swear, cross my heart.” his eyes moved to look at his hand cradled in yours.

“cross your heart?”

“cross my heart.”

236 notes · View notes

jinnielovebot · 6 years

Text

stray kids first impressions!

tagged by: @hyyunjinn @lovelyyhyunjin (hyunjin stan squad comin in hot 😩)

tagging: @hyunjinh @christopher-bang @seungchanie @felixeslee @felixsfreckles @bangchant @chuuyo @hyunsungg @scene-stealers @straykids1 (im tryna tag new ppl rn pls lmk if u dont want me to LMAO also idk whos done it so far)

the mv drops in like 4 hours im wheezing

the date you found stray kids: oct. 6

how: i saw articles of jyp’s upcoming boy group/survival show and me, a hoe for survival shows had to know what was going on,,,,,,,and then the hellevator mv showed up in my youtube notifications and i was curious abt it so i clicked it and all hell broke loose from there

first overall impression: pls,,,no hate in my inbox i beg im gonna b real honest n genuine when i say this LFMAO: i didnt like hellevator when i was first listening to it, i kinda liked the beginning part of seungmins voice but once it did like a 180 and went to changbins rap i was immediately turned off by it and i honestly thought “ugh so its another bad boy group why do so many groups try so hard to be edgy nowadays” and i wasnt exactly a fan of the vocals or hardcore rap but i kept listening to it hoping it would get better and it did and once i got to the chorus i started warming up to it AND THEN hyunjins rap is when i hit the fkcing FLOOR and then i ended up falling in love with the song soon after lMFAOSO :’’’’))))

tldr; i thought they were trying too hard to b edgy but then realized they r a bunch of cute dumplings that i wanna boop on the daily :///

individual impressions ––

chan: "his hair looks fried” - LISTEN OKAY in the mv his hair looked like a pile of hay NO OFFENSE AHDKAS LMFAO but when i heard that he was a trainee of 7 years i was like holy shit?? my respect for u?? is thru the roof??? to be really honest when i found out he was one of the aussie members and he was the leader of the group i felt kinda iffy because i didnt think he would be fit for that role but i was COMPLETELY wrong after i watched the first few clips of him and honestly i could just feel that he was leader material and w0w i have so much respect for him and also funny story when i first got into them i thought chan and chris were two different poeple i hate myself

woojin: "omfg his neck is thicc af” - LMFASODASDA god i hate myself for that being the first thing i thought of when i saw him AJSDKA OKAY BUT LIKE i forgot which video it was but i just saw him at an angle that made his neck look SUPER THICC and i was like this guy probably has gr9 vocals nd i was RIGHT LMAO i thought he was super cute when he was playing the guitar and singing n oml i love him

minho: “rapper?? singer?? which one is he” - i felt like i was super behind on getting to know him bc i didnt see him too too much in the hellevator mv?? BUT i srsly went heart eyes when i saw him in those cute af circle glasses when he was packing his bundles n not to mention id heard a lot of people rave about his bundles which i thought was SO FKING CUTE and idk when i looked at him he kinda had this like shy smile/look and i thought it was just so precious watching him ;;;

changbin: "why is he so angry in his rapping” - changbin stans pls dont come @ me,,,,,when i first listened to hellevator i started to not really like the song or him after hearing his part because i thought it sounded overly angry and aggressive but after listening to 3racha i honestly started to fall in love with his style more nd more and even know hes probably my fave in 3racha and my luv 4 him grew even more when i saw how cute he was when he smiled and tried to b dark

hyunjin: “IM SORRY BUT WHO ARE U I NEED TO KNOW” - this bih COPPED me of my sanity when i heard his voice in hellevator like it just snapped me awake and made me suddenly 10000% more interested bc i felt like his voice just sounded so idk how to put it but it was like super determined and strong willed sounding kinda like an “watch me prove you wrong” kind of tone WHICH ISNT A BAD THING IDEFK HOW TO EXPLAIN OMG like it just went SUPER well with the flow of the song and i just absolutely fell in love with his voice n then i saw his face and i was like how do u rap like that u have such a cute baby face wtf and then i fking scoured all the possible info on sk to find out who he was and that was when i became a fool™ for him :///

jisung: “wait hes rapping now i thought he was the vocal what” - SIMILAR TO CHANGBIN i wasnt like overly fond of him during the first few parts of hellevator because i thought his vocals were just eh and unnatural sounding until later i realized it was autotunes fault and again like changbin i thought his rap was overly aggressive but it wasnt until 3racha that i started to really really appreciate him and fall in love with his voice not to mention i was SNATCHED by his high note in the hellevator practice perf in front of jyp

felix: “he looks like he has tangerine hair– WHAT THE FK IS THAT VOICE” - o boi even before i started getting into them i’d heard a lot of people rave about how there was an aussie kid w freckles in this group and when i first heard him in hellevator i was definitely impressed with his flow/voice in the song ASKDA and then after that all the moments of him memeing on everything and also his stage charisma just mde me go HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM AKSDH he was the first threat to my bias list bc he jus felt like so RELATABLE LMAO and also for the longest time i thought he was the maknae LOOLL

seungmin: “this voice is already a 10″ - goodness where do i start w kim fking seungmin,,,the moment i saw his face i just went heart eyes because he looked like a living marshmallow and his voice?? im dead. seungmins voice has just this warm sounding tone that makes him so easy and pleasing to listen to like IDK WHAT IT IS but i thought the way he sang was just so cute and genuine that i couldnt help but swoon over him ;;;;;; he was and currently still is threatening hyunjins spot on my bias list ASJKDKJAK i actually had a bias crisis around the time that sk went on the busking mission because i would watch hyunjin fancams,,,,,,,,but only pay attention to seungmin,,,,,,,,,,,,,i literally replayed seungmins part in school life like 600 times,,,aHEM anyways

jeongin: “his eyes are so pointy” - the first thing that attracted me to him were his eyes bc they were just super unique looking?? idk im whack lmao but after watching the episode clips i was just WHIPPED for him bc he looked so soft n smol ;;; AND the part that Snatched me the hardest was when he was singing trot in the practice room and i startedTEARING UP because he was so cute and oh my god i love him

we dead binches after the mv drops good luck my dudes 😔✊

#tagged #tag game #holy this took so long #i feel like i just wrote an essay

6 notes · View notes

janyolski · 6 years

Text

Fic: The One With The Dog Mom And Hot Vet

Summary: AU. Cosima is a crazy loving dog mom and Delphine is a crazy hot veterinarian. Cosima is also super gay.

In this chapter, some of Delphine's own personal issues surface after the kiss. Cosima is just as upset. Mrs. S., Sarah, Kira, and Felix are having breakfast when they hear about what happened. Kira dislikes Marmite very much. TW: Panic Attacks

Chapter 10: The One Where Kira Hates Marmite

Delphine tries not to floor her gas pedal to zoom right to her apartment but she finds it difficult. She keeps reminding herself that she doesn’t want to get into any kind of accident in the middle of a quiet and sleeping neighborhood because she can’t control this ongoing panic attack. She starts feeling nauseous, like she needs to vomit, but she wills herself to stay awake, alert, and to keep driving under the neighborhood speed limit. Her heart and mind are racing a mile a minute and her breathing comes out quick ragged.

Cosima had kissed her.

She had kissed back… but only for a moment, only before she realized what was happening.

It was simply because of all the wine, right?

Yes. The wine. And maybe the dim lighting in Siobhan’s house. And maybe all the teasing and jokes.

Teasing?

Then the realization dawns upon her; the blushing, the shyness, Sarah and Felix constantly looking her way then giving Cosima a look. Sarah said someone was excited to see her beside Kira and it was her, but she was referring to Cosima wasn’t she?

Cosima was the one excited to see her.

Wait, maybe she’s just overthinking. It’s just the panic.

But, if it were true…

Frankly, she was excited to see Cosima, too.

Another wave of nausea hits her at that thought. In the midst of the onslaught of emotions, part of the doctor’s brain dissociates and starts wondering where all of this was coming from. That part of her starts to detachedly go through every single possibility.

Shock? Hmm. But why the intensity of this reaction?

First time to kiss a woman? Sure. But, she’s French and this was nothing shocking, even after growing up in a conservative household. She did go to University after all.

Homophobia? Oh hell, no. No, no, no. She was not at all disgusted by the pass Cosima made at her. If anything, she even welcomed--

Delphine’s expression contorts to deer-caught-in-headlights to absolute horror to a shell-shocked eureka look. She went through this in her mind earlier but it only really sunk in now.

She welcomed the kiss. She enjoyed the kiss. She even reciprocated that kiss.

And that’s what really has her sweating cold and breathing hard in her car; the possibility that she was almost 30 years old and has lived all her life clueless that she was attracted to women also. Something inside of her snaps and it all makes sense - the way her heart broke at 5 years old when the girl she considered her best friend brushed her off, the way she looked at her peers at 12 years old, the way she kept looking at her roommate’s body at 19 in Uni, the way she made love to men yet still feel unsatisfied somehow afterwards, and the way she’d been so drawn to Cosima the whole night.

Almost 30 years old - 28, to be exact - and the possibility that Delphine Cormier might at least be bisexual never dawned on her despite the signs until a girl she likes actually kissed her.

Likes.

Yikes.

Delphine realizes she’s gone past two houses from her apartment and puts her car in reverse. She parks in her driveway, pulls up her car’s handbrake and shuts off her engine. She stays in her car, however, hands still on the steering wheel and eyes staring blankly ahead of her.

She likes Cosima.

Well, not like-like, but attracted to her?

Undeniably so.

The doctor tries to even out her breathing, a trick she’s learned to do as a pre-teen, whenever her father gave her panic attacks from whatever emotionally-scarring statement he’d say at the dinner tale that night. She breathes in as much air as she can through her nose and rolls the movement to her stomach, making it feel like she’s filling her midsection with air, too and not just her lungs, the exhales slowly through her mouth. Her breath comes out a chilly puff. The weather has started to get colder, Delphine notes. She’s been to busy to notice it.

Like she’s been too blind to notice an important part about herself; her sexuality.

The doctor has had many friends of different dispositions on the spectrum of sexuality, and she thinks they’ll probably laugh at her and how she’s only figured out now and how she’s dealing with a panic attack from the discovery. But she thinks her father wasn’t her father and she wasn’t them - she grew up in a conservative household with a father who wanted her to be nothing more than a housewife because he believes it’s the best life for her. She grew up watching only men and women fall in love for each other and wasn’t even aware that women loving other women and men loving other men existed until she ran away. She has formative years and her father’s shadow to shake off and it seems like in some part of her she hasn’t.

Maybe she never will.

So, Delphine finally gets out of her car. Her keys jangle in her hand as it trembles. She struggles to open the door and when she finally gets into her apartment, she locks it, and begins shedding off every piece of clothing on her as she makes her way to the bed. First, her scarf, then her coat, then her button-up blouse and the tank top underneath to keep her warm, then she bends down to push off her jeans only to realize she still had her shoes on; so, she pulls off each shoe, lets them drop on the floor, and proceeds to push down her jeans again. She reaches the side of her bed in nothing but her underwear and crawls under her sheets. She buries herself under the layers of blankets and the thick comforter and curls up in a fetal position on her side. Her mind goes to Cosima and she realizes that in all of her panic and her mid-life identity crisis, she forgot how she left Cosima at her front door, probably bewildered and feeling so rejected by her reaction.

Oh no.

She considers calling the pet owner and reaches for her phone, only to realize she doesn’t have the woman’s number, yet.

Ugh. Stupid.

She thinks of driving back to Cosima’s house but her body feels heavy - she’s not in a condition to drive.

So what else is there to do?

Nothing. Sleep, maybe.

Delphine closes her eyes but an hour passes and sleep doesn’t come. Her thoughts are on loop; Cosima, the kiss, their conversations on the couch, how much fun she had, how she’s attracted to Cosima, how she was attracted to all those girls before but just didn’t realize it, her conservative father, her abusive aunt, her quiet mother, the brothers and sisters who were strangers to her, her childhood.

Delphine turns around and feels around her bed for the remote to the tv across her bed. Her hand then goes to her nightstand and finds it there. A blue light illuminates her surroundings as she turns on the television. She flips through all the channels and stops at National Geographic. A herd of lions are lazing in the African Savannah. The doctor settles in, pushing her blankets up to her chin.

Maybe in the morning she’ll make things right.

But for now, there’s a long sleepless night ahead.

Pancho looks out of the window and at the bright shining light in the sky. He looks at his human sprawled on her bed, still snoozing. He tilts his head. This isn’t right, he thinks. Cosima always wakes up early even after a late night to feed her pup and check if he needs to do his business outside. He has his litter box but still, Macho Pancho likes marking his territory outside too, you know.

So, Pancho decides to take matters into his own paws. The puppy walks over to the side of his playpen nearest Cosima’s bed. He stands on his hind legs and holds himself up against his pen with his front paws. He wags his tail and gets ready to give this his best shot. Pancho barks out at his human, telling her to get the hell out of bed and get started with her day. The barks get louder and louder until Cosima jolts up with a snort, awoken by her pup’s valiant efforts. Pancho sees his human move and wags his tail in excitement, probably also as a pat to himself on the back for a job well done.

Cosima rolls over to lie down on her stomach. Rolling papers were scattered on her bed along with the ziplocks of different strains of cannabis and an ashtray. She’d smoked herself up to sleep last night, upset from what happened between her and Delphine.

Pancho’s tail stops wagging as he sees his human lay still on the bed again. The puppy feels frustrated and starts a round of barking once again. The noise gets louder and louder til Cosima’s ears start to feel assaulted. The pet owner stirs awake, realizes it’s Pancho’s impatient barking, and struggles to pry her eyelids open. The bright early morning sunshine blinds her and she holds her hand out in front of her eyes to shield them. She opens her mouth to let Pancho know that she’s awake and she’s coming, but her throat is dry from the joints last night and she lets out a cough instead.

Pancho thankfully quiets down at the sound, anyway.

For a minute Cosima thinks it’s awesome one can never get hangovers from pot because this morning would definitely be a hundred times worse with a hangover. She crawls out of bed like a zombie and her ashtray topples over from the rustling of her sheets and all the cannabis ash spills onto her sheets. Cosima face palms and growls out curse words. Her puppy just tilts his head, now waiting patiently for his owner.

Cosima manages out a few scratchy words as she finally gets up.

“Okay, baby boy.... Coming… Water first.”

She decides she’ll clean the ash and change her sheets later. She groggedly heads to her kitchen, gets a glass and fills it with water. She doesn’t realize how thirsty she is until her first gulp, so she drinks another glass. It’s then that last night’s events catch up with her brain again and she puts the glass down in the sink with a heavy clack. She then moves to grab an over-sized and cozy sweater and put it on over her sleep shirt and doesn’t bother putting on a bra. She also doesn’t even check to see if she broke the glass or anything.

Cosima grabs Pancho’s leash and the puppy jumps in excitement. But, he sees his owner’s demeanor and recognizes that she’s not having a good day, so being the best boy that he is, he tones down his excitement to tail-wagging. His owner smiles at him.

“Okay, baby boy. Let’s go get your pee on.”

Cosima attaches the leash to his collar and opens the playpen to let Pancho out. She sniffs her sweater and realizes it smells like weed, probably from her solo sesh last night.

Well, what’s new?

She shrugs and grabs her phone. She’s going to call Sarah or Felix because she knows they’re dying for an update. She also needs someone to talk to really bad, and for all their crazy, Sarah and Felix were good listeners when Cosima needs them to be. Or, well… they try. But that’s good enough for the pet owner.

Cosima follows Pancho to the door and opens it for the both of them.

“What do you want for breakfast, huh, Monkey?”

Sarah slowly makes her way down the stairs, carrying her daughter who was wrapped snug around her mother. Kira sleepily nuzzles Sarah’s neck and whispers “waffles… maple syrup” so quietly, her mother almost missed it. Sarah chuckles.

“Waffles, eh? Don’t want any Marmite and toast?”

The suggestion almost seemed to zap the child awake. She leans back and scrunches her face in disgust, tongue sticking out.

“Ew, mum.”

Sarah laughs. She knew full well that her daughter hated Marmite. Yep, Kira definitely grew up in Canada and not Brixton.

“Okay. Waffles with maple syrup it is, love.”

Kira nods and feels assured enough to rest her little head on mummy’s shoulder again. Sarah places a kiss on the side of her daughter’s head then just loving buries her face in the soft curly hair. She has absolutely no idea but Kira still smells like a newly-bathed baby even at 9 years old.

The mother and daughter get to the kitchen and they find Siobhan sipping her tea with toast, waffles, bacon, eggs, milk, and orange juice ready with plates, utensils, and glasses, perfectly laid out on the table, waiting for the residents of the house to enjoy them. It was a truly beautiful sight. S doesn’t usually go all out like this unless they’re having a family meal. Sarah raises both eyebrows and nods in appreciation.

“Wow, mum.”

Kira takes a peep and immediately lightens up with a grin, all traces of sleepiness vanishing away.

Siobhan simply raises an eyebrow and tilts her head, as if to say, do you expect any less from me? The matriarch gestures to the food and the seats. Sarah sets Kira into a chair and plops herself down beside

“Dig in. Felix is coming down in a few minutes. He made a coffee run since he’s the only one in this house who drinks that for breakfast.”

And right on cue, their favorite male comes in the front door carrying a venti-sized cup of coffee and wearing sunglasses.

“Well, hello, women of my life. Ooh, that smells delish.”

He takes his coat off and hangs it on one of the hooks beside the stairs. He strides to the dining table and immediately sits himself beside his mother.

“Dig in, love.”

Felix sets his coffee and removes his sunglasses. He grabs a piece of toast and takes a big crunchy bite. His sister finishes dousing Kira’s waffles in syrup to the extreme delight of his niece.

He turns to his mother, but pretends to sneak a look at his niece who definitely catches it.

“Mum, where’s the Marmite?”

Kira immediately reacts and goes “blech.”

The adults laugh at their favorite monkey. Kira’s repulsion to Marmite was no secret and they frequently tease her about it.

Just then, Felix’s phone rings and vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out with a little struggle because of how tight his pants are. He specifically wore them because he knew the hot barista at the coffee shop works mornings and he wanted to work the pants’ charm. He sees Cosima’s name as the caller ID and immediately waves it in Sarah’s face.

“It’s Cos!”

Sarah’s eyes widen in excitement. Siobhan leans forward, a little bit, also definitely interested to hear what Cosima has to say.

“Answer it, dumdum!”

Felix swipes at the green phone icon and the call duration starts counting the seconds. He puts it on speaker phone so the other can hear it, too. Cosima’s voice comes through the speaker.

“Hello…?”

Sarah leans forward and speaks.

“Cos, you’re on speaker phone. We’re all here. Kira, too. What’s up?”

“Hey, monkey.”

Kira giggles from behind the huge chunk of waffles she’s currently holding up to her mouth with a fork.

“Hey, Aunt Cosima.”

Cosima addresses Sarah this time.

“Sarah, I called your phone two times. You weren’t picking up.”

“Oh, shite, sorry, Cos. I must’ve left it in the room when I picked Kira up.”

“It’s fine.”

Felix decides he can’t wait any longer. Besides, it’s his phone, too, so he goes and asks the question they all have in their minds directly.

“So, you headed home with the willowy French blonde… How’d it go?”

Cosima sighed.

“We kissed-”

Felix stretched her hand out to his sister in lightning speed with his palms facing upward, mouthing “five dollars”. Sarah scrunched her face up and threw her hands in the air at her brother.

“- then she jerked away from me and said ‘sorry’ and basically ran to her car in disgust and fast and furious’ed away from my apartment.”

Felix deflated like a helium balloon. Sarah immediately turned to the phone with looks of worry. Mrs. S. eyebrows knit together, deep concern evident on her face. Even Kira’s waffle froze in mid-air and she had to let the fork down.

Cosima sounded hurt and insecure. Felix looked at Sarah as if to day, keep your $5 because this isn’t worth celebrating. Mrs. S. leaned forward to make sure the woman on the other end of the line hears what she has to say.

“I’m sorry that happened, love. I thought it was going so well. We all did. We saw the signs and she definitely seemed to like you, too.”

“I thought she was into it, too… I guess I was wrong.”

“Do you want to come over for breakfast? Felix can make a coffee run for you.”

Felix nods at his mom and cuts in.

“I wouldn’t mind. The barista is cute.”

They hear Cosima sigh. Any other day she would have laughed at Felix’s thing for baristas and bartenders.

“Maybe another day. I have a paper to work on.”

Sarah cuts in.

“Okay, Cos. Call me any time. I’ll keep my phone close this time.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Cosima hangs up and they hear the beep signalling the line is cut.

Sarah looks at Siobhan then Felix.

“Okay, am I the only one who thinks blondie led her on?”

Felix tilts his head.

“It’s possible....”

Siobhan, knowing her kids well, is certain that Sarah is going to inevitably bring herself to hate Delphine. Sarah may be a pain in the ass but, like her, gets very protective of her family. In Sarah’s mind, Delphine can turn into a sick sadistic bitch or twisted into that straight girl who played with her sister’s feelings, even if it was just one night and an outright rejection right after the first kiss. How it escalates to that in Sarah’s mind is a mystery to her, but definitely something she may have been guilty of, too, so Siobhan understands her daughter still. However, the matriarch has seen her daughter’s protective streak when this happened with Cosima’s ex. Emi broke Cosima’ heart so badly and made Sarah hellbent on revenge. It got ugly, to say the least.

Siobhan decides to nip it in the bud, before it escalates.

“I think there’s more to it than that, Sarah. Let’s not jump to conclusions. Delphine was clearly into her. For all we know, it could've been personal and not at all about Cosima.”

Sarah looks down and clenches her jaw. Her mom was right.

Kira suddenly pipes up, surprising the three adults.

“I think Dr. Delphine likes Auntie Cosima very much.”

Felix smiles at his niece. A very smart and insightful kid, this one, he thinks.

“Yeah, monkey?”

Kira nods.

“I think she just doesn’t know she likes girls. But, that’s okay. Auntie Cosima’s nice. It’ll be okay. You’ll see.”

The three adults look at each other then to Kira. Somehow, the child’s words felt true and it put them all at ease.

“Mum, can I have another waffle?”

The three adults laughed. Sarah nodded, forking a waffle and setting it on Kira’s plate.

“Here you go. You’re smart, monkey, you know that?”

Sarah kisses the top of her daughter’s head and Kira giggles. Mrs. S. and Felix smile at the two.

“I know I am!”

10 notes · View notes

dfroza · 4 years

Text

stating his defense

against false accusations.

A case we see with Paul in Today’s chapter of the ancient book of Acts:

[Paul’s Trial before Felix]

Five days later, Ananias the high priest arrived in Caesarea, accompanied by some Jewish elders and Tertullus, their prosecuting attorney. They were brought before the governor to present formal charges against Paul. After Paul was summoned, Tertullus accused him, saying, “Your Excellency Felix, under the shadow of your wise leadership we Jews have experienced a long period of peace. Because of your wise foresight, many reforms are coming to pass in our nation because of you, Most Honorable Felix. We deeply appreciate this and thank you very much.

“So that I won’t weary you with a lengthy presentation, I beg you to hear our brief summary, with your customary graciousness. For we have found this man to be a contagious plague, a seditious man who continually stirs up riots among the Jews all over the world. He has become a ringleader of the sect known as the Nazarenes. He has even attempted to desecrate our temple, which is why we had him arrested. We sought to judge him according to our law, but Commander Lysias came with great force, snatched him away from our hands, and sent him here to you. He has ordered his accusers to come to you so that you could interrogate him and ascertain for yourself that all these charges we are bringing against him are true.”

All the Jews present joined in the verbal attack, saying, “Yes, it’s true!”

[Paul’s Defense before Felix]

The governor motioned that it was Paul’s turn to speak, so he began to answer the accusations.

“Because I know that you have been a judge over this nation for many years, I gladly respond in my defense. You can easily verify that about twelve days ago, I went to Jerusalem to worship. No one found me arguing with anyone or causing trouble among the people in the synagogues or in the temple or anywhere in the city. They are completely unable to prove these accusations they make against me.

“But I do confess this to you: I worship the God of our Jewish ancestors as a follower of the Way, which they call a sect. For I believe everything that is written in the Law and the Prophets. And my hope is in God, the same hope that even my accusers have embraced, the hope of a resurrection from the dead of both the righteous and the unrighteous. That’s why I seek with all my heart to have a clean conscience toward God and toward others.

“After being away from Jerusalem for several years, I returned to bring to my people gifts for the poor. I was in the temple, ritually purified and presenting my offering to God, when they seized me. I had no noisy crowd around me, and I wasn’t causing trouble or making any kind of disturbance whatsoever. It was a group of Jews from western Turkey who were being unruly; they are the ones who should be here now to bring their charges if they have anything against me. Or at least these men standing before you should clearly state what crime they found me guilty of when I stood before the Jewish supreme council, unless it’s the one thing I passionately spoke out when I stood among them. I am on trial today only because of my belief in the resurrection of the dead.”

Felix, who was well acquainted with the facts about the Way, concluded the hearing with these words: “I will decide your case after Commander Lysias arrives.” He then ordered the captain to keep Paul in protective custody, but to give him a measure of freedom, he allowed any of his friends to visit him and help take care of his needs.

[Paul Speaks to Felix and Drusilla]

Several days later, Felix came back with his wife, Drusilla, who was Jewish. They sent for Paul and listened as he shared with them about faith in Jesus, the Anointed One. As Paul spoke about true righteousness, self-control, and the coming judgment, Felix became terrified and said, “Leave me for now. I’ll send for you later when it’s more convenient.”

He expected to receive a bribe from Paul for his release, so for that reason he would send for Paul from time to time to converse with him.

Two years later, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. Before he left office he decided to leave Paul in prison as a political favor to the Jews.

The Book of Acts, Chapter 24 (The Passion Translation)

to be followed up by reading from Today’s Psalms and Proverbs for january 20:

[Psalm 20]

For the worship leader. A song of David.

May the Eternal’s answer find you, come to rescue you,

when you desperately cling to the end of your rope.

May the name of the True God of Jacob be your shelter.

May He extend hope and help to you from His holy sanctuary

and support you from His sacred city of Zion.

May He remember all that you have offered Him;

may your burnt sacrifices serve as a prelude to His mercy.

[pause]

May He grant the dreams of your heart

and see your plans through to the end.

When you win, we will not be silent! We will shout

and raise high our banners in the great name of our God!

May the Eternal say yes to all your requests.

I don’t fear; I’m confident that help will come to the one anointed by the Eternal:

heaven will respond to his plea;

His mighty right hand will win the battle.

Many put their hope in chariots, others in horses,

but we place our trust in the name of the Eternal One, our True God.

Soon our enemies will collapse and fall, never to return home;

all the while, we will rise and stand firm.

Eternal One, grant victory to our king!

Answer our plea for help.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 20 (The Voice)

and a few of these lines from The Message:

That clinches it—help’s coming,

an answer’s on the way,

everything’s going to work out.

See those people polishing their chariots,

and those others grooming their horses?

But we’re making garlands for God our God.

The chariots will rust,

those horses pull up lame—

and we’ll be on our feet, standing tall.

Make the king a winner, God;

the day we call, give us your answer.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 20:6-9 (The Message)

[Psalm 31]

A David Psalm

I run to you, God; I run for dear life.

Don’t let me down!

Take me seriously this time!

Get down on my level and listen,

and please—no procrastination!

Your granite cave a hiding place,

your high cliff aerie a place of safety.

You’re my cave to hide in,

my cliff to climb.

Be my safe leader,

be my true mountain guide.

Free me from hidden traps;

I want to hide in you.

I’ve put my life in your hands.

You won’t drop me,

you’ll never let me down.

I hate all this silly religion,

but you, God, I trust.

I’m leaping and singing in the circle of your love;

you saw my pain,

you disarmed my tormentors,

You didn’t leave me in their clutches

but gave me room to breathe.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 31:1-8 (The Message)

and the same lines mirrored in The Passion Translation:

How Great Is Your Goodness

For the Pure and Shining One

A song of poetic praise, by King David

I trust you, Lord, to be my hiding place.

Don’t let me down.

Don’t let my enemies bring me to shame.

Come and rescue me, for you are the only God

who always does what is right.

Rescue me quickly when I cry out to you.

At the sound of my prayer may your ear be turned to me.

Be my strong shelter and hiding place on high.

Pull me into victory and breakthrough.

For you are my high fortress, where I’m kept safe.

You are to me a stronghold of salvation.

When you deliver me out of this peril,

it will bring glory to your name.

As you guide me forth I’ll be kept safe

from the hidden snares of the enemy—

the secret traps that lie before me—

for you have become my rock of strength.

Into your hands I now entrust my spirit.

O Lord, the God of faithfulness,

you have rescued and redeemed me.

I despise these deceptive illusions,

all this pretense and nonsense,

for I worship only you.

In mercy you have seen my troubles and you have cared for me;

even during this crisis in my soul I will be radiant with joy,

filled with praise for your love and mercy.

You have kept me from being conquered by my enemy;

you broke open the way to bring me to freedom,

into a beautiful, broad place.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 31:1-8 (The Passion Translation)

[Proverbs 20]

Too much wine begins to mock you,

too much strong drink leads to noisy fights,

and whoever is misled by either is not wise.

A king’s wrath strikes fear like a lion’s roar;

those who provoke him to anger sentence themselves to death.

Honor is due those who refuse to fight at the drop of a hat,

but every fool jumps at an opportunity to quarrel.

A slacker procrastinates when it is time to plow;

so when it’s time for harvest, there are no crops in the field.

The real motives come from deep within a person—as from deep waters—

but a discerning person is able to draw them up and expose them.

Most people claim to be loyal,

but can anyone find a trustworthy person?

The right-living act with integrity;

the children who follow their example are happy.

When a king sits on his throne as judge,

he ferrets out all evil and scatters it with his royal stare.

Who can say, “I have cleaned my heart”?

or who can proclaim, “I am purified from sin”?

False weights and differing measures are alike:

both are disgusting to the Eternal.

Youth reveal their true natures by their actions

whether they do what is pure and right or not.

Ears to listen, eyes to see—

the Eternal designed them both.

Do not fall in love with sleep, or you will awake a poor person.

Stay awake, get to work, and you will have more than enough food.

“Bad quality for a bad price,” bargains the buyer;

but then he runs off with his prize in tow, bragging, “What a steal!”

Gold and rubies abound,

but lips that utter knowledge are a rare jewel.

If someone guarantees a stranger’s debt, hold his garment as collateral;

if that stranger is a foreigner, hold the creditor responsible.

At first the bread of lies tastes sweet

until guilt reduces it to gravel in the mouth.

Plans are finalized on the basis of good counsel,

so only go to war when you have wise instructions.

A gossip will reveal your secrets!

So avoid the company of people who talk openly and foolishly.

If someone pronounces a curse on his parents,

the lamp of his life will be snuffed out as complete darkness creeps in.

An inheritance acquired hastily at first

will end up not being blessed after all.

Do not say, “I will get even for this evil.”

Wait for the Eternal; He will defend you.

He despises dishonesty in business;

false weights and deceptive scales are wrong.

Every one of our steps is directed by Him;

so how can we attempt to figure out our own way?

Those who rashly dedicate something to God are trapped;

only afterward do they realize what they’ve promised.

A wise king weeds out the wrongdoers,

then drives over them with his threshing wheel of justice.

The lamp of the Eternal illuminates the human spirit,

searching our most intimate thoughts.

Loyal love and faithfulness safeguard the king;

his throne is perpetuated through loyal love.

The best asset of youth is the strength of the body,

but the beauty of age is gray hair.

Severe punishment scrubs away evil,

and tough blows scour the innermost parts.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 20 (The Voice)

my personal reading from the Scriptures for january 20 of 2020 (Psalm 20 and Proverbs 20) along with Psalm 31 for the 31st day of Winter

accompanied by the pairing of a chapter from each Testament with Today being Acts 24 and Zechariah 11

0 notes

stonersolana · 7 years

Text

Baby Butterfly - (miracusims)

hey Bully!! Papa!Louis!! @bullysquadess @miracusims

Louis -

“Ten more minutes, Mari. Okay? There should be ice cream there,” he grinned and made a slow turn into the neighbourhood. “But remember our deal.”

“Sandwiches first, then ice cream,” Mari smiled and started giggling when Louis tickled her tummy with one hand.

Her black hair fell into her face as she wiggled, her face flushing pink as she squealed. “Papa! Papa, stop!”

Louis pulled up to the large Gothic house and parked behind his parents car, turning off the engine. He unbuckled his daughter and held her on his lap, facing him. She wiggled around impatiently, her rounded bottom lip sticking out.

“When we go in, please stay by my side, okay? I know everything is new, but I would really like it if you stayed next to me until I can find your cousins, okay? Then I’ll let you go play,” Louis said, holding onto her little chubby hands. Three years of being her father had gone by so fast and he can honestly say he has not gotten any less protective of her. She was just so small and curious and he always remembered how she used to fit safely into the circle of his arms.

She had the Agreste eyes, that’s how he was sure she was his. He never even asked for a test. Now, she was three and meeting the whole family for the first time and even though he trusted everyone in that house, some part of him would always worry. Mari always had a habit of getting herself into trouble, just like he used to. He could never tell if he was proud of that or worried.

“I promise, Papa.”

That promise was immediately broken minutes after they walked through the doors. His sister Emma nearly pounced on him, locking him into a hug like a vice. After years on the team, her body was pure muscle and could easily crush him. God, how he had missed her.

“Hey, little brother! It’s been so long. You live in the same damn city now, where the fuck have you been? Everyone’s been worried about -” Emma started but she cut her sentence off when she noticed the little girl at her brother’s pant leg, looking down at the floor. “Oh, hello! I’m your Auntie Emma. Your cousin must be around here somewhere. Lotte? Baby, have you seen Nova?”

Louis placed a hand on Mari’s head, letting her know he was there. Lotte walked over after hearing her wife’s voice. “They’re probably playing with Plagg and Tikki in the garden. I can go check - oh, who’s this little cutie? Louis, is this your daughter? Hello, Mariposa. I’m Auntie Lotte,” she smiled and held out her hand to shake. Mari wrinkled her dark brows at the woman’s hand then walked away without saying a word, head bowed. Louis reached out for his daughter but narrowly missed her because Hugo showed up to see him. He clapped a hand on his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug he hadn’t been ready for.

“Finally, you cut your hair! You were starting to look like dad during his midlife crisis, no offence. Where’s your daughter?”

“Well, she was just here. She walked away. If I could just go get her -”

“Louis, she’ll be fine. We’re all family here. Let her be. Trust me, it’s really difficult to let your kid go for the first time. But this place is super safe. Now, let’s go see Bri. She’s missed you a lot,” Emma smiled and led him away. That’s how the first few hours went: Louis trying to sneak away to keep an eye on Mari and someone steering him away to catch up. It was driving him a little crazy.

Piper -

She gently rubbed her eye, careful not to smudge her makeup. Her little brother had invited her to his anniversary party and she couldn’t be happier, she just wished he could’ve picked a better date. Just when she thought she was on this hacker’s tail, he slipped through her fingers again last night. This game of cat and mouse had been going on for a year and it was wearing her thin. But she had to put on a happy (and well-rested) face for her brother and his partners. It wasn’t about her today.

She wandered the house, sipping a triple espresso and just hoping to stay awake for the party when she spotted a little girl with curly black hair and ocean green eyes. Was she a new child of Emma and Lotte’s? She hadn’t seen her before now but she sure was cute in her little purple dress with a large butterfly on the front. The little thing looked lost so Piper went up to her and squatted down to her level.

“Hiya. I’m Piper. You look a little lost. Do you need help finding your mommy,” she asked gently. The little girl looked at her and slowly smiled.

“My name is Mari. I don’t know where my papa is. I went to look for the garden so I could meet my cousins but I don’t know where it is,” she said. Piper stood up and held out her hand until Mari took it, wrapping her hand around two of Piper’s fingers. Piper thought she had to be Emma’s. She had the Agreste eyes and was obviously named after the matriarch of the family.

“I’ll take you to the garden, okay, Mari? Maybe your papa is waiting for you there,” Piper smiled gently and walked with her, saying hi to people as they walked. The house was large but they made it to the garden without any problems. Until one problem showed himself.

Louis.

He looked better than she remembered. He had stubble and his hair was cut short and swept to the side, as if he had actually tried to look decent today. Her chest squeezed painfully at seeing him again but he didn’t seem to be looking at her, not until she spoke.

“Louis.”

“Piper.”

“Papa!”

Mari dropped Piper’s fingers and ran over to the man Piper had grown up with. Then she saw the resemblance: same eyes, same forehead. Louis scooped the little girl up and placed her on his hip in a move so natural, he must have done it a thousand times.

“Papa,” Piper asked, still unable to believe it. Louis’s cheeks slowly turned from pink to red, looking from the little girl in his arms to the woman he hadn’t seen in five years.

“Piper, this is my daughter, Mari.”

#miraculous ladybug #louper #mlnextgen #fixed it some #the other one was rushed af

125 notes · View notes