#I AM HOLDING ONTO THESE WORDS

[chrisbangs]

231003 ♡ Happy Birthday Bang Chan!

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #cb97net #createskz #*gfx #*m #long post #all the stars in the sky couldnt compare to how much i love you... thank you forever and for always... #i will be by your side till the sun sets okay? #together always... im happy here with you #you changed my life and made me into a warmer person... #i think im so lucky that the universe led me to you... im so grateful that you exist here with me... #my everything... you are always my brightest sun and i hope to continue to be your moon #how many times can i say thank you till my tongue grows numb it still wouldnt be enough... to say thank you to you #because of you i am here still today... because of your kind words i was able to hold onto who i was that night #im never truly alone because you're always a part of my heart and who i am now.. you exist inside my very heart #you are so truly and deeply a soulmate to me... #i love you... so much..

[lord-squiggletits]

When Optimus in Chaos Theory said "Hatred may sustain you, but it diminishes me. I am lessened by it." that was so fucking deep of him

#squiggposting #idw op love #unironically no memes btw #just... not only well written dialogue. not only well written optimus #but words that speak to me as a person #'i am lessened by it'...so true #he doesnt deny that he feels hatred (he says before that that he doesnt know) #but instead frames it as. even if he feels hatred he doesnt like feeling it #he may feel hatred but he doesnt want to hold onto it. he doesnt like the person it turns him into #once again idw optimus is out there being so intensely relatable and profound #he's so incredibly mortal and flawed #he's of great virtue but at the cost of great doubt and suffering #he is not perfect and unfeeling but rather he feels hatred and tries to overcome it

[beanghostprincess]

Seeing Sanji kick Luffy for the mere implication of Usopp leaving the crew is peak boyfriend behavior and if you told me they were actively dating back then I would believe you.

And I am a sucker for secret relationships, okay? It's one of my favorite tropes. But they're not dating in secret because they feel ashamed or embarrassed or whatever. They just want to keep it to themselves for a while as something only theirs, which is good too.

But of course, when Water 7 happens and Sanji is clearly way more affected by Luffy's words implying Usopp could leave than anybody else... If you see it in this concept of these two dating in secret... It just hits harder. Because Sanji can't explicitly say "Don't you dare say that to my boyfriend ever again" but what he can do is kick Luffy for it.

I talk about this a lot, actually, but I don't care. I've been thinking about it more lately. Water 7 happening but nobody knows they're dating. Nobody. Not even Nami, as surprising as it sounds. And when Usopp and Luffy fight... Usopp doesn't have anyone but Sanji doesn't either because he can't tell anyone why Usopp leaving would hurt him more.

I can imagine Sanji making a whole deal out of it and somebody going "We're all worried for him" and Sanji saying "It's not the same" but regretting it immediately because now everybody wonders what the hell he meant by that.

#i just absolutely love angst sometimes #when usopp comes back to them i am so sure sanji doesn't let go of him #he takes him by the hand and pulls him into the kitchen and closes it with lock and key and he spends all week cuddling with him #no words actually just sanji holding onto usopp like a koala with tears in his eyes and going 'don't leave again or i'll kick your ass' #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #water 7

[cherrysnax]

havin the weirdest crisis of my life

#this is like. did related so im gonna sound completely uh #what’s the word. odd and shit for a sec okay? okay #so I’ve been here. hi im cheri silver yknow me for about 20 years total but jay used to front for years when we were in middle school #im not the. original host I guess but I’ve been around since #we were in the early single digits and never left #so im the host right? I existed to go thru the Trauma #but. it’s been my life for so long. my parents don’t know Her #they’ve only known me #but like. we’re finally starting to let go of that trauma #errr not let go but make peace with it. and we’ve been holding onto it for so long. I’ve been holding on to it for so long #but.. who am I without it? like yes that’s my trauma but also. is my purpose over?? is that why we haven’t been able to draw? #I’ve been the host for 20 years this is my life #my friends my gf my life my hobbies it’s mine not anyone else’s #I let others take the wheel when I can’t (or they forcibly do it for me) and jays been gone for like 3 years he only came back because I’ve #been being traumatized everyday recently. but like. will I have to go too?? #reintergration is not really our goal. never has been but like #if we do. will I be here or will She come back? we’ve had false alarms before but it’s mostly been decided that it’s my front my life #maybe im just triggered all the time and that’s why I feel extra out of it #less myself #New Traumas are happening to us everyday #but yeah. I dont talk abt this aspect of my life much but it’s so scary to think about #I’ll talk to Chevy when they get off of work tomorrow abt it if it’s still like. freaking me out #I am me. we are a bunch of niggas but I am me. #did niggas when the identity disorder makes them dissociate smh #😫

[mashbrainrot]

.

#i am going to NEED people to stop applying real world morality to a sitcom from the 70s/80s #it is fine to say you would be uncomfortable if something happened to you in real life #but then projecting that onto the characters of that world and saying they were/should be equally harmed is just. its not a thing. #i personally am uncomfortable with hawkeye being sedated out of his manic state. #if someone did that to me id cut them out of my life #i dont then say hawkeye should have cut trapper and henry out of his life for it #things in the mash world simply do not hold the same weight. #this is a show where people siphon off blood from a sleeping man #where people steal watches to gamble them away #where destroying prized personal property happens nearly every episode #do you watch tom and jerry and worry about animal cruelty? #it is possible to sit with your own discomfort without saying that it is felt by the characters in the show #either that or be consistent and apply your real world morality to all of them and write them all off as terrible people #to be clear i am talking about the moments where it is clearly shifting into comedy #i understand there is a lot of drama and mash shifts tone a lot. its useful to be able to differentiate between what tone it is aiming for #its also fair to say the tone they were aiming for was not achieved for you personally! key word there is personally

[plushie-rater]

Can we send requests of our own plushies for you to rate? :)

Thanks so much for asking first of all. I’ve been thinking about this a whole lot (even before I drew the first plushie here) and I think I’ve finally decided that at least for now, I won’t be taking submissions for plushie ratings. Without getting too serious, the main reason is that I’m afraid that it will stop feeling as fun as it does now. I also really enjoy how happy people seem to be when they see a surprise rating that they weren’t expecting, which would happen much less often if I was spending time drawing submissions, too. I really hope that everyone understands

#I love seeing all your plushies regardless and you’re always free to show me them through asks or dms #I wasn’t able to draw for a few years without it feeling very stressful and I think the anxiety of drawing for others made it much worse #im sort of taking baby steps while I get used to drawing again and this blog has been a huge help #everyone ive interacted with so far has been very kind and I have almost 100 followers already! which is super cool #if you’ve already submitted a plushie or were planning to im very sorry. I hope you understand #I really love drawing and am so happy that it feels fun again after so long #I’ll hold onto my current few submissions in case this ever changes someday #sorry for getting all serious gvutfd5fuq #I love you guys a ton! thank you for all the follows and reblogs and kind words #i see all of them even in tags and appreciate all of you so very much #not plushie #mouse answers #mouse speaks #mouse rambles

[amaraudermind]

YOU'RE SOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT EZRA YOU'RE SO RIGHT IT'S LIKE YOU LOOKED INTO MY HEAD AND WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN

he's so in tune with the force I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

NO YOU'RE RIGHT HE IS

And it's like. Being in tune with the force is one thing, right? Lots of Jedi are, lots of force users in general are, even!

But like. Okay so Hera mentioned in the pilot that Ezra opening the Holocron being a level of test, right? And it sounded like she and Kanan had discussed before something about him opening the Holocron meaning Kanan would train him.

But that's such a horrible test! In clone wars they specified that you could only open a Jedi Holocron as a Jedi. You had to be so dialed in specifically on the light side of the force.

So walk with me here. Ezra Bridger. He not only has a strong connection to the force. He not only instinctively calls on it without knowing a thing about it. He effortlessly tunes into the light side of the force, like it's as natural as breathing.

"but Void" I hear from the crowd "Ezra also tunes into the dark side of the force"

Indeed. Yes. Correct.

No but just stick with my crazed rambling for a sec okay? Because the dark side is supposed to be the easy path, the one that's so simple to fall into, it calls to force users, I mean, we see that the dark side is exactly that time and again.

I bring this up because. It's not for Ezra. The first time he grasps for the dark side he's in a panic, and it hurts him. It does get them away from the grand inquisitor but it almost doesn't. And the next time? It's after encouragement from Maul, and even then he's having to actively pursue it. He has to try to use the dark side.

And, because I think of this oh so much, when Maul needs him to open the Jedi Holocron--after he's been using the dark side and frequently, mind you--Ezra still can.

And like I have so many more incoherent thoughts about him and his force connection there's just so much he has taken up my entire brain<3

#void answers #star wars #ezra bridger #seriously words cannot encompass the amount of emotions i feel about him #why and how and what #how are you the way that you are ezra bridger #literally i have seen never seen a single other character as confounding as ezra #there are REASONS everyone latches onto this kid #i just feel like when he's actively using the dark side and clearly changed a lot #like. okay sabine says it's still ezra 'sometimes' when we see him using the dark side. #and i don't know. this part i know is more of a stretch but it feels like ezra is less called to the dark side #and more is convinced that it's the way to protect his family in a logical sense. like he has logic'd his way into thinking he NEEDS #the dark side of the force. and therefore it makes sense for him to continue using it wven though it's not natural to him. #it's still him 'sometimes' because he's having to put effort into using the dark side. when he's not trying he's...bouncing back. #and once he found a reasonable argument to NOT use the dark side. to see that it wasn't helping. it was pretty easy to step back again. #i don't know i might have just literally lost my mind from thinking about him too much i am in the middle of yet another watchthrough #we'll see how well my thought processes hold up against seeing it all transpire again #anyway

[gingerbreadmonsters]

actually fuck me

#unless i can wrap this up in literally the next thousand words its genuinely going to be longer than resist and elongate #i was holding onto the slim hope that it wouldn't happen and i would just be able to pass this off as a blip #nope #it is not to be #context: r&e is the middle part of my vega and warden series and is the longest thing i've ever written #its about 18.6k which i realise is not all that long in the grand scheme of fics #but its bloody long for ME #that series is smth of an outlier for me bc its SO much longer than anything else #its just under 40k altogether #which is more than x2 the length of my next longest series (peaches and cream is abt 18k) #dear god in heaven i am so fucked

[polaroidcats]

just got home from my grandma's and I've been feeling so low energy all week and like everything, especially caregiving, is too much and but today was pretty good. and my absolute highlight, that I need to share with tumblr is that she's convinced I have at least one, maybe several secret boyfriends who I'm hiding from her and keeping in my bed. Like, she got really mad at me for saying I don't have a boyfriend so eventually I just went along with it, so now I have an imaginary boyfriend named Walter. Apparently. He lives in my bed, and the only person who's ever seen him is my grandma.

#relationship announcement!! #ramblings #dementia #i really need to hold onto these fun moments yesteday i was at such a low point #the constant guilt i feel for not doing more for her and the constant overwhelmedness (is that a word?) i feel at the situation #i have to remind myself that i've been doing this caregiving thing next to uni and now uni and work for almost 4 years now #it's okay to feel tired and overwhelmed by it #but still the guilt of not being able to do more for her is so strong #even though i am doing what i can #whoops didnt mean to get all emo in the tag ramblings #i swear today was a good day it hasnt been this good in a while

[keykid-database]

Thinking about how Ephemer told player their hearts will always be connected before they parted ways in the game central station, and not long after player made the choice to make ephemer think they were a darkness vessel

#khux #post s #ephemer #ephemera #khux player #ive been rewatching end game cutscenes for a fic recently and just #im been feeling the epheplayer lately #like ephemer said that to player and then player turns around and does THAT #like ephemer must have felt so hurt and betreyed but also angry and upset that darkness did that to his friend #and was player holding onto those words in their final moments? when they made that choice? when they were in that sealed off world alone? #i am having emotions over this

[aceofwonders]

ok imma just pop off about one of my dnd ocs...

the way that maizakeen is heading for a break down has me Screaming

she had the Horrors (voices of the dead/dark thoughts and strange magic) dropped on her at age fucking twelve....she overcompensated with intense optimism and kindness to beat it all back (also training relentlessly to control her magic so she could help herself and others)

she grew up so privileged and sheltered that is was working, life was good in her little bubble.... and then it shattered when her grandfather died and further more when she went out into the world

session after session she is seeing how bleak the greater world is and it is fracturing her hold on her literal inner demons ever so slowly

#ultimately she is gonna fight to hold onto that optimism #but bb girl is gonna break down and go a little nuts first #lets see if i can break it down #first quest was dealing with a hag stealing and killing children 🙃 #then a run in with violent rebels and lots of death (one death she blames herself for) #also hearing how the government is corrupt from the rebels pov #then last session getting faced with a woman who was struggling to pay for her own home #learnt about a robin hood like figure who was stealing from the rich to give to the poor #seeing the rich react to this so angrily #idk how to phrase it exactly #but maisie is feeling some type of way #about All of That #she has been pressing it all down and keeping it inside #randvi has even spoken to maisie about that and told her it's ok to let it all out #maisie was like yeah that's good advice at the time but like #maisie fears doing that because of her resident ghosties #she fears what they will do and who she could hurt #but bb girl is gonna snap eventually and probably soon #and i for one an ready for the Drama of it all #sorry i dumped a million words but i am losing it over my spooky girl #ch: maizakeen morgrave #nancy's d&d adventure #campaign: annihalon

[moonlitkissing]

oh, I'd have to lean in close to let you hear my whines while you compliment me, while you reveal how you'd undress me... I'm so so red, a half glazed look of lust. Tempted to bury my face in your neck (what if someone hears? My heart is aflutter, I love the praise knowing I'm your good boy but we're being so naughty!!! aaaaa)

and then you corner me at the movies? my breath catches, you feel me jolt at your touch. Melting into your touch. An exhale, then panting as I needily grind myself into your touch. Humping you desperately... of course, I feel you stop when our movie's starting. Too soon, I whisper :((((( You notice me being extra clingy as we walk into the movie. I notice myself leaky with precum as the night wears on.

Aww, my poor boy, did i fluster you too much? It's okay, sweetheart, they won't hear me unless you want them to (I'll make sure of that)

Such a good boy, even when you're so needy, clinging onto me and staying with me the entire movie - and good boys get rewards (after the movie)

#she speaks #my asks #flustered anon #you don't understand i NEED this date #need you clinging onto me holding my hand playing with my fingers hiding your face in my neck when i get a little too loud with my words #... i am very normal about this concept

[violet-evers]

There are few memories I treasure of us...

When I ran and jumped into your arms saying Happy Birthday, excited for everything I had planned... Excited to see you Happy and Smile

When we were shopping and while spinning in the mirror bending down to kiss your forehead. It was this look, that maybe I still don't understand but it was something raw, in your eyes... It touched my heart

Our first and last moments together. I never saw you the same after that birthday. And I never saw you again after that day.

Our hearts intertwined in time n places that weren't meant to be. I enjoyed the moments of being happy but am sad we dragged it out for so long, just to feel something we hoped was real.

I'm sorry.

But I'm happy we're done, that we're finally on our own. So that we can find our own ways to belong.

I will always love you,

My Moon and Stars, no matter who or where you are, you will always hold a place in my heart 🖤

-From Me to You

#dear diary #diary #spilled thoughts #spilled words #love #spilled poetry #poem #relationship #my moon and stars #i love you #always #i will always love you #im glad we fell apart #it led me to where i am #im sorry #I'm sorry if i ever caused you pain #and the only thing i could hold onto was you #and im sorry i put that pressure on you #im okay #to say goodbye #to admit i still love you #but i dont want to be with you anymore #i love and i hope for something more #for me and for you #some days and memories will always be for me and you #finally happy

[tripthelight-fanfic]

Just wanted to put this out there to all my multichapter fic writing mutuals in case this info isn’t known

If your WIP/completed work is over 70k…

Congratulations, you’ve written a novel.

Most publishers define “novel-length” as anywhere between 50,000-110,000 words but the average minimum I’ve seen is 70k and I feel like I can think of like 10 fics off the top of my head that blow those numbers out of the water

So even if the notes aren’t flowing in and even if you feel like giving up writing

Just look at what you’ve accomplished

You wrote a fucking book

#do you know how hard it is to write a book #I feel such a need to gas up #ESPECIALLY THIS FANBASE BC YALL WRITE LIKE YOURE ACTIVELY DYING #and what I’m REALLY trying to say is hey gang slap some new names in there and GO GET THAT BREAD!!!!! #like people are so quick to dismiss fanfiction when in reality these are entire LITERARY UNIVERSES being built #and honestly this goes for any fanbase #yes this is bc I just looked at the word count for vigilance holy fUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN 600K+??? #and I am so incapable of holding onto a singular plot for long enough to flesh it out like this #so I have such endless respect for ppl who can

[thebirdandhersong]

Have been flip-flopping between full-out sudden and heart-wrenching sadness (the Sadie Sink sobbing her heart out in All Too Well kind of sad. Alas) and general cloudy sadness hovering at the back of my mind (I feel rather like my own personal Groke in those moments) these past few weeks and today had many moments of light in it. Lots of sunshine, tea, reading with Muffin (we're reading 1 Psalm a night together and praying together before bed--it is the Best), listening to music that isn't sad/grumpy (Jess Ray, Arcadian Wild, Paul Zach, Sara Groves), laughing with Froglet... it was easier to see the light and receive it. Things are looking up :)

#SORRY THERE ARE SO MANY LONG TAG RANTS THESE DAYS ABOUT SADNESS there is just a big presence of sad in my head and heart at present #i am fighting Hard against it! i am going to get better! i am not going to dwell in it forever! #my goodness i didn't know any sort of heartbreak could be this dramatic but there are definitely things that need processing/ #talking over when one finds oneself sobbing at church halfway through the service while everyone is singing Abide With Me #the takeaway here for me at least is that i keep holding onto this very tightly #and often forget that well i can and should let go of it and give it to God instead #WHY are the lessons that i learn lessons that i keep having to learn!! man!! one would THINK that after everything i'd know by now #that Sufferin on one's lonesome is unhelpful and damaging and also affects one's physical health #and that really i shouldn't be trying to hold it together myself. anyway i was and still am vastly comforted by the words in that hymn #and by the assurance that He walks through valleys with me as well as hills and nice sunny meadows #i hope that i come out of this a) not resenting mr knight the way i've been sorely tempted to (and have in some moments) #b) not Hopeless and Hard at Heart #c) understanding God and His character better having learned how to come close to Him in times of trouble #in any case. i am rambling again. BEDTIME :D #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21 #thinking of julian of norwich again and reminding myself Constantly that the all-shall-be-wellness of it all is not insignificant

[lunargrapejuice]

if i don’t write something for kaveh soon im going to burst but every time i try to write my brain is just like ‘uh no thanks.’

#i am very upset #😡😭 #I’m holding onto so many kaveh thoughts that I can’t even put into words #HELP #luna talking into the void