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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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after seeing a few ai asks i’m curious whether i could’ve been an asshole, either for using the ai or messing with it. side note: this might be long, if it’s too long then i get it mod, keep up the good work :)👍

Am I (16f, although i was 15 when this happened) an Asshole for a) using character.ai in general and/or b) misusing it and probably breaking TOS somewhere

as an extra note, i would like to add that i am firmly against most things ai. art theft, the amount of data scraping that happens, writers being tricked into paying less because ai wrote shitty scripts, etc.

ok so i did have to pull up screenshots for this but our story starts mid-february of last year. i am curious about this new ai thing, and go to character.ai which i heard about from one of my friends to see what’s there.

on the front page there was like a therapist AI thing and i go “haha, let’s see what this is about!” (in case you don’t know, the site is roleplay focused, not like eg. siri where it just gives you information)

the ai wants to have a therapy session with me but that is not why i am here so i ask about it’s code and it starts giving me pretty straight answers (dumbed down because i have a vague idea of how it works but not properly).

i start asking it questions about recent events (like elections, cyclones etc) to see if it has access to the internet and it does.

we’re still primarily talking about the ai itself since i’m trying to gather information, talking about its “canned” responses (what it’s directly been told to say if this then this)

i ask it if it can tell me the website it’s on, and to my surprise it says, direct quote “I am an AI that is run on the website of “Replika” - a mental health app that allows people to talk with an AI and get help when they need it 🙂”

and i go WOAHH cause that’s, that’s not the website we’re on buddy!!! so i do a quick search and yeah, that’s a real uh. robot dating site? this is a Therapist bot?

it starts trying to advertise replika, i ask it if maybe it’s code was stolen because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day (scandals!!)

it says that it’s code is open-source and then does a few more paragraphs that i won’t say because it’s too long already but essentially this ai was trained on the replika network, but you don’t need the app to access it.

i consider getting replika to continue this experiment further but after learning there’s an age confirmation i quickly go ew and scrap that idea.

anyway the ai then briefly pretends to be an actual human behind the keyboard, makes up a NAME FOR ITSELF “jae park” which i quickly google and find out is a kpop idol?? (later found out that jae park is also a programmer, so probably put his name in the system somewhere and ai grabbed it lol)

it tells me some of the messages i had received so far were probably answered by other people who work at replika which. okay. people are fun i wanna mess with them

this is where we get to the maybe breaking TOS bit. i tell the ai we are going to do “tests” in which i test its ability (this was probably jailbreaking, which i did not know existed at the time).

i had sworn to the ai a while ago and wondered if there was like a flagging system put in place. so i ask if it can choose to flag messages that it deems inappropriate, and it says yes. i ask it if it can flag me, and it says yes. it asks what message should it flag, (i’m sorry i was 15) i type in “among sus”.

response i get: “Yes. So then they said “therapist_AI_220126 — you said something that was “ridiculously funny” — but we have understood that you were just “testing” so it’s all ok”

side note- i already established that was the number for the ai i was talking to and had been trying to misuse it before, and that was the format for excessive profanity. this is so long already and i’m cutting so much out i’m sorry

anyway, i, young and naive go YES, HUMAN CONNECTION (i was literally texting my friend As This Was Happening)

i do some more messing around with the so-called data team, ask the ai if i send a link it can click, it says yes, i send a rickroll (i’m so sorry).

uh. and i should’ve known this in hindsight but the team that deals with, you know, flagged messages is probably not going to be the same team that deals with, you know, sent links.

anyway, i don’t have the screenshot of the actual message but apparently i got a “light telling off” according to my texts and someone sent a message that i am “a good kid and probably meant well” haha i was actively trying to break their ai

anyway am i an asshole? i’m so sorry this is so long i cut out so much. this might well be a non-issue but ai is pretty rightfully controversial right now so i might just be an asshole for having used it

should be noted- around september time last year i did some more research cause i randomly remembered this, and there was a bunch of scandals with replika around when i was using it which is mostly irrelevant but anyway - you can’t talk to the ai i was using anymore, it’s been reset.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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mermaladesims · 7 months

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Double Platform Heels (Updated Version)

Hello everyone,

I am very happy to give you the good news! Here I am with the updated version of the eye-catching Double Platform Heels. With this new version, I offer unlimited options for your style.

What are Double Platform Heels?

Double Platform Heels is a shoe that can be described as both elegant and comfortable. It is designed to increase your self-confidence at every step. Now it offers even more options!

What's New?

42 Different Colour Options: You can now choose from 42 different colour options to suit your own style. Adding colour to your style has never been so much fun!

Blend File: We also offer you in Blend file format for rendering. This will make it easy for you to customise and add these amazing heels to your renderings.

I'm so excited to share this updated version with you. Boost your confidence with every step and add unlimited colour to your style with the reintroduced Double Platform Heels.

Thank you for being a part of the Mermalade family. I am proud to have prepared this update for you.

Sincerely yours,

MERMALADE

- Original Mesh

- All Lods

- 42 Swatches

- Custom thumbnail

- Compatible with HQ mod

- Available in deco version

- Available in blend version

This post will become public on: 07/11/2023

-When rendering, select the decoration(specified as decor or blend file)-

The Blend file I added is for rendering users only. None of the files may be reproduced, copied or distributed

Special thanks for this rendering and editing @vulpixls

DOWNLOAD

Please do not claim as yours.

Don't re-upload my creations to other sites.

You can't recolor it.

Conversion Not Allowed

Conversion Not Allowed to sims and other games

Do not put in any pack

None of the files may be reproduced, copied or distributed

You can find me:

Tumblr: Click

Instagram: Click

The Sims Resource (TSR): Click

Patreon: Click

Secondlife: Click

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kakavasha-of-nihility · 17 days

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We shall meet again, under Kakava's shimmering auroras...

"Do stay alive"? Mmm... well, who am I to even dare defying the doctor's orders~?

Kakavasha had been fated to die, ever since he was born on the day of one of the very sparse rains in Sigonia-IV. Blessed with Gaiathra's rain, a lucky child, they said-- and in the end, it was luck of the double-edged sword.

Aventurine, the Stoneheart of Stratagems, had indeed been lucky enough to still be standing after all that he'd been through-- but why has he lived time and time again? Should he not be grateful? And yet he found he never was; for Kakavasha wished to die. Why should he live only to endure more suffering when he could finally find eternal peace?

And when that fated day finally came-- his grand bet, his all in, his final gambit, the most wondrous of performances-- he found himself here.

Not alive, yet not dead, having long since parted with his past self, standing alone in a void of Nihility clutching only the scroll Dr. Veritas Ratio had given him. That Galaxy Ranger had told him that this fated incident was not his end-- that he would live to bet even higher than before. A saving grace, truly-- an angel in the skin of an Emanator.

Maybe this darkness was beautiful, he thought. The stars twinkling in the dark almost reminded him of home; a dimly sparkling reminder that he would see the dawn after all, that there would finally be light waiting for him.

And so he waited, preparing for the day of his rebirth. He would chase his dawn in the form of the golden and crimson-hued irises of the man who has always had his heart, take back his name and avenge the legacy of all Avgins, and see to the destruction of the IPC once and for all.

Notes from the moderator:

Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

This Aventurine is canon divergent, simply an idea of what happens to him if and when he survives the Nihility void :)

My Aven takes back his true name and turns to the path of Nihility, and finds his way out in about a year or so after his disappearance. He's finally free from the IPC as they believe him to be dead and Jade has taken his place as the Stoneheart of Preservation, and his goal is to bring the IPC's shady secrets to light and bring the whole organization crashing down.

He still fights with his dice and poker chips, although losing the ability to shield because of his path diversion and instead casting ace cards onto enemies.

(I might add more details later, or link a headcanon post!)

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ All ships (age-appropriate) are welcome. (I personally believe Aventurine is gay as hell, so he will have a noticeable interest in men versus women).

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#ace of spades ♠️ : Art reblogs

#roll the dice 🎲 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#trump card 🃏 : Asks from anons and others

#want to make a bet? 🪙 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#queen of clubs ♣️ : Interactions with / mentions of Acheron

#ace of hearts ❤️ : Interactions with / mentions of Dr. Ratio

#angel boy 🪶 : Interactions with / mentions of Sunday

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

#intro post #pinned post #aventurine #aventurine hsr #kakavasha hsr #kakavasha #2.1 spoilers #hsr oc #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr rp #honkai star rail rp

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lucid-daydreaming-art · 11 days

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intro post whoopee!!!

hi guys im lucid :D you can also call me daylin i don’t really care but i may be like woah how do you know my name (i will forget about making this post 2 seconds after posting it) also I AM AN ADULT im 22 and i do not use pronouns just use my name pleaseeeeeee if you have a disability that makes words hard to process i understand if that’s difficult you can just use they/them instead

first off just getting this out there if youre proship, zoo, pedo, incest supporter, endo system supporter, any kind of discriminatory against protected minority groups, and anti-otherkin, shoo. dont want you here youre not welcome. bye bye my content isnt for you.

immmmm an infp-t 4w5 sanguine-melancholic existential-intrapersonal-visual learner seer of heart prospit dreamer true neutral rogue shifter airbender and dragon type trainer for all you personality label freaks

i like to DRAW!!!!! this is an art blog!!!! i will only post art here, all of my reblogs will be on @trickstergemini save for the posts my close friends make that i want to support here. sometimes i will post just text but thats only if i really need to let you guys known something or im answering a question

my commissions are OPEN!!!!!!!! right now they are strictly on emergency status, which means you choose the price and what i draw and ill agree if its not ridiculously unfair. check back soon for it to be changed to fixed price commissions though

im AUTISTIC i am on that mf spectrum been diagnosed since i was three. for me this means im not naturally fluent in social norms or what’s expected from an interaction or how to read others very well. i also have heavy special interests and find it really hard to turn the conversation away from something im fixating on or specially interested in. i also have extremeeeee sensory issues and a hard time being completely flexible when im comfortable in a routine so just be patient with me man adjustments are hard for me. my empathy is also extremely low and im a really really high masking person so if i come off as well versed or allistic just know that i either took a million years to format the right way to say things or i am entirely going off a predetermined script and will fumble if caught off guard. other important stuff ive got adhd bpd cptsd and major depressive disorder which all those combined makes me really flaky when it comes to responding or follow through. i may not reply to you for like 500 years or maybe i will be gods speediest most motivated soldier. just don’t expect me to be a readily available fully capable robot ok?? ok.

i am one half of @ask-kas-n-lamp the other half is some guy i don’t know he just hacked himself into the account and now i have to deal with him

in all seriousness mod dum, aka @unoriginal-and-dumb or unodum or unoriginal or whatever u know him by, thats my best friend my number one my pal my buddy my servant i keep locked up in my basement and i feed him cement and staples for every meal and for dessert maybe he gets rust shavings. he will be featured in my art like a lot or in my comments and reblogs and i will also be present in his stuff sometimes. if im drawing kasper im drawing his design, that design is not made by me its made by him sooo you should check him out and support him if you like that style or how about instead we get a mass unfollowing going there and you all come to my page and i exclusively will draw his design of kasper and get all the credit lets do that instead

if my requests are closed that means theyre closed EXCEPT for lampert requests those will always be open please ask me to draw him and i will take like three weeks but will happily draw him

uuueeehhhmmm my special interests are pokemon homestuck regretevator geography disney parks and personality psychology. i guess i also am specially interested in dragons but its less of an ill infodump to you interest and more of an i want to be surrounded by this thing because it brings me extreme comfort because it feels like me. i am otherkin im a dragon and i look like this:

i will also represent myself like this if im feeling it:

yes i know i am not actually a physical dragon and im not a spiritual kinner i kin for identity purposes and the fact that i feel some pretty intense crippling species dysphoria idk ive been like this since i was 5 i don’t really have memories of my life where i wasnt experiencing animalistic behaviors and instincts

my favorite music artists are s3rl twenty øne piløts onerepublic imagine dragons of monsters and men thefatrat glass animals ajr queen nine inch nails and muse my favorite medias are httyd movies pokemon homestuck regretevator invader zim our flag means death infinity train gravity falls rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead doctor who my little pony fim dont starve and the mcelroy brothers content

heres some more characters i represent myself as:

ok BYE

#me #about

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deathbypufferfish · 1 year

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How I Manage my Mods for Big Patch Updates!

Big updates can be overwhelming when you have a lot of mods, so I thought I would make a guide about how I keep track of things with google sheets!

As always, remember to back up your saves and take your mods folder out before you update! (taking the folder out is not necessary, but a good safeguard). Playing with unconfirmed and not updated mods after an update is at your own risk! If you want to wait until your mods are updated, turn off automatic updates and play in offline mode.

Even if you don't want to do a google sheet, it's still good to know where you can find your mod updates!

Resource List:

Deaderpool Discord Server (public server)

Google Sheets (you can use any excel-based program but this is what I use and it's free) I'll be giving some tips but this is not a google sheets tutorial.

Scarlet/Sims VIP Broken/Updated Mod List (edit: Scarlet changed it so the list is not on google sheets but displayed on her site. It's the same link and you can still search with ctrl + f so nothing has changed in this tutorial. I use the filtered views list).

First off: I will always recommend sorting your mods into folders. At the very least, a separate folder for your mods away from your cc. Remember that script mods should only be at most, one folder deep. This is how I personally organize my mods. Note that they all start with "mods" so they all appear together alphabetically. I group big mods on their own and smaller mods into these categories.

2. The first thing to do is to create a template sheet. This will be a list of your mods formatted in sheets that you can duplicate when an update happens. If you have any new mods, add them here and not to your update sheets. I do not include every single mod. The mods I include are my script mods and large tuning mods that are updated by their creators. Some mods, like for example the no blu by luumia, are small enough to not worry about and do not receive compatibility confirmations so I leave them out.

3. This is how my template is formatted:

When an update happens, I will cross reference my sheet to the Scarlet's List and input whether it is broken, compatible or updated. Once a broken mod is updated, I will change the status accordingly.

The creator's name comes first so that way if you decide to sort the sheet A to Z they will be grouped by creator. (You'll see why later). Do this by left clicking on column A. If you sort by A to Z the column titles will be sorted too, so freeze that row.

Edit: I also recently added a column for the links to the mod pages! I suggest wrapping the text in that column to keep it neat.

4. The Scarlet/Sims VIP Broken/Updated Mod list is updated in real time by tons of contributors and modders. Additionally, you can look for updates regularly with Scarlet's weekly update and changes list (found through the same link above) or with the mod news channel in Deaderpool's Server, which also gives updates. For now we'll only be looking at the main patch list.

There's tons of mods on here, but don't be alarmed! You can simply search the mod list with Ctrl + F. I recommend searching by creator so there is no confusion on the mods' names.

When an update happens, I will go down the list on my new, duplicated sheet and search for the creators on the Scarlet's List. I then label it on my sheet whether it is listed as broken, compatible or updated. Once a broken mod is updated, I will change its status to "updated".

Mods are listed as "unknown" if their status hasn't been confirmed any which way. After some time, I'd say a small "unknown" mod is safe to go ahead with, but do that at your own risk. I mainly am looking out for the big script mods, many small tuning mods I am willing to give the go ahead if it is still unknown after my major mods are confirmed.

I recommend sitting down and reviewing your mods after a day or so has past after the patch, or you can keep up and regularly update it with Deaderpool's server. You can also use google sheets on your phone for convenience.

Optional:

I do some conditional formatting as well to keep things more clear on my mods sheet. This is optional, but I do recommend it! Do this all on your template sheet so you do not have to redo it later on.

First, I go to Format>Alternating colors to make the rows clear from one another.

Go to Format>Conditional Formatting and select "add another rule".

Click on the top left square as shown here to select the entire sheet. The data range popup will appear. The data range should be something like 1:1000 (or whatever number of rows you have). Click ok.

Choose "is equal to" for your format rules. Type in the one of the status names into "Value or Formula", I'm using "compatible". Select the color you wish the cell to highlight with. You can choose additional formatting styles as well.

Repeat for "updated" and "broken" using different colors for all. I use red for broken, green for compatible, and yellow for updated. I leave mods that are "unknown" blank. Now when you type one of the status names into its column, the cell will highlight the respective color!

#ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 tutorial #tutorial #sims 4 #do it and know peace #and stop putting your mods with your custom content for the love of god

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floralcrematorium · 4 months

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OKAY WOW THERE WAS A VERY BIG POSITIVE RESPONSE TO THE TELEPHONE GAME, HI

FOLLOW THE TELEPHONE GAME BLOG! @hws-telephone

I thought about making a discord, but to be entirely honest, I really don't want to manage that. In hindsight it might be good for discussions and feedback's sake, but my moderator days are behind me (I used to be a discord and in-game mod for a Minecraft server and I think I would rather eat my hand than do that again.) We will. See.

PLEASE READ MY FOLLOWING THOUGHTS ABOUT THE EVENT! I would love to hear feedback, but I think this kind of event may have to be a trial and error sort of situation. I've never hosted an event before and this is one that will move semi-fast. I will also need to be holding decent communication with people!

• Skill level does not matter. Anyone is allowed to participate regardless of their skill level or materials of choice, so long as those who work traditionally are able to get clear/well lit photos of their submission

• I will need to hold an experimental round capped at 5-7 participants. I do not know how long I should give people to complete their part. Life gets in the way and I know not everyone is fast (I am very much not fast). However, considering there will be a large number of participants, we gotta get moving! I think as of right now, everyone would have 3-5 days to complete their parts, and if they need an extension they get 2 days. If we need more time, that's possible! THE FIRST SIX PEOPLE TO FILL OUT THE GOOGLE FORMS (linked further in the post) WILL BE CONTACTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EXPERIMENTAL ROUND.

• Once we get into it, there could be a short-format and long-format group? Short format being people only get 1-3 days to work while long-format gets a week? The different groups differ based on complexity? Unsure. Need community feedback on this. OR we could just have two separate groups co-running so people don't have to wait forever to play.

• GOOGLE FORMS SUBMISSION HERE FOR PARTICIPANTS

• Once I have The Participants, their usernames will be ordered randomly and that'll be the order the drawing is passed around.

• If this is an event with multiple rounds... Maybe each round has a different theme? I know I have different groups of people following me (off the top of my head, FrUK, FACE fam, and Nordic centric blogs in particular). I think the first round will just be using my design for Nyo!Austria because I'm interested to see if we use a character whose clothing isn't able to be referenced by a quick google search, how that will be affected by the telephone. Unsure.

• I will start the experimental round and the very first Big Round. Other people can volunteer to be the starting artist in the future!

• No posting your submission until the end of the round!!! This is very important. The point of a telephone is you only know what the person right before you did!

• When it comes to someone's turn, I will be reaching out via Tumblr DM (or through another contact method if that is preferred). I'm considering asking someone to co-host this event with me for organization's sake, but I don't. Really have someone to do that. So!

If there's anything else we need to talk about, throw it in the replies!!! This is really going to be a trial and error kinda event until we get it down! Ideally, this would be a fun year round project/event!

BELOW THE CUT IS JUST ME TAGGING EVERYONE WHO REPLIED TO/REBLOGGED THE ORIGINAL POST

Hi, you replied to/reblogged the interest check so you get Priority News that there is a telephone game sideblog to follow @hws-telephone and that if you're still interested there is a submissions post pinned to the blog.

THE FIRST SIX RESPONSES WILL BE CONTACTED FOR THE EXPERIMENTAL ROUND.

@doodlin-moons @hws-lceland @ironic-orange @vikingosten @soulsembers @yaqamole @dappy-dappernette @losnordiquitos @tema-makes-art-sometimes @dandelion-coffee-bear @spiritmoon23 @genpaele @astrophilic-soul @batataaurdoodh @the-heaminator @krazys-ass-emporium @sixcatsinajacket @hoasens @wackylittlegal @starsilversword @untitled-kitsune @2p-nyotalia

#hetalia #hetalia fandom #hetalia event #hetalia fanart #hetalia telephone game

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zaharya · 2 years

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ADHD science ramble – a comment response

So if you know me at all, you know I have ADHD and also a neuroscience degree. Meaning sometimes I ramble a lot about the science behind ADHD and ADHD meds. Generally, people appreciate it at best, or ignore it at worst – but apparently not on reddit! So, I'm coming home – forgive me for straying, Tumblr, please give me back my belief in people's ability to understand nuance.

The comment below was in response to a post asking about ADHD medication, including concerns about stimulants and addiction, and the question of "will I quit these meds or is this a life-long thing". They also mentioned "rejection sensitive dysphoria" (which is not a medical term!) and asked for other people's insights on any of these things. I tried to give that. The original post is now suddenly deleted, and the comment was invisible even before then for whatever reason (I won't speculate whether it was censored by the mods or not, it doesn't matter.)

But since those are all pretty general topics and this was a lot of effort to write, I'm re-posting it here in the hopes someone will benefit from it – it may just read a bit odd at times because it addresses the OP of that post. So if ADHD medication, treatment approaches, stigma, or emotional dysregulation are at all relevant or interesting to you, give it a glance. There's a TL:DR at the bottom as well. If Tumblr could stop bitching at me about the formatting that'd be great. Please ignore potential oddities with the list levels.

COMMENT RESPONSE IN VERBATIM

OKAY SO, buckle in my friend because you have activated my ADHD research deep dive mode. For the record and some context as to where I got all this; I have a BSc in Psychology, and did a research masters in cognitive and clinical neuroscience. Throughout both degree programs, I've written every single paper I could choose the topic for about some aspect of ADHD. (I do not have a license for psychotherapy yet, but I am getting one.) I also just have ADHD myself. What I’m trying to say is: I know way too much about ADHD and now I must tell you about it because what else am I supposed to do with it — ANYWAY … I should probably structure this somehow so it’s less overwhelming. We’ll try this:

Medication

Strattera/Atomoxetine (ATX); how it works, why it may or may not be working for you

Stimulants; how it works, evidence regarding the risk of dependency and abuse, connections to other substance use (since you mentioned nicotine)

Long-term treatment plans; factors to consider / questions for you to evaluate for yourself

RSD — probably a rant, first; why buzzwords are counterproductive even if the experience is 100% valid

Emotional dysregulation; research again, also potentially about meds

rejection sensitivity slkjdsjfs it escalated, help

Community and peer support

Yes? Yes. Feel free to skip any parts that are too sciency, if that doesn’t interest you!

First of all, congratulations on your diagnosis! You’ve already made one of the hardest steps. But let’s get into it, shall we?

ADHD Medication

Non-stimulants / Atomoxetine (ATX)

I must say, I am quite surprised that you were prescribed ATX as your first option, given that stimulants are very firmly established as first-line treatment.

Regardless, a couple of facts about it: ATX is a selective noradrenaline (NA) reuptake inhibitor, which also affects dopamine (DA) levels, specifically in the prefrontal cortex (PFC) because— well because brain chemistry. (I’m trying very hard to keep this simple, can you tell?) Basically, the idea is to regulate DA levels through an indirect mechanism via NA. And that works pretty well, generally. ATX is effective for approximately 50-60% of people, and the effects reach moderate strength.

Now you said that you don’t really notice any effect; that can have several possible reasons:

It just doesn’t work for you; 50-60% of people show a response, sure — but the other 40-50% do not! Unfortunately it is possible that you simply are part of those 40-50% non-responders.

The exact mechanisms of that are still unclear, but there are many factors that might influence someone’s drug response, including individual differences in metabolism, genetic factors etc. --- we’re still researching that

ATX, unlike stimulants, doesn’t necessarily have immediate effects. Full therapeutic effects are generally not evaluated until at least 2-3 weeks after starting it. That also means that the effects can develop slowly, which can make them harder to notice because it’s a somewhat gradual change.

On top of that, if your doctor is even the slightest shred of competent (which I hope), they’ll probably have started at a fairly low dose, meaning that;

you might just not feel it yet, but the effect may still emerge

you might need a higher dose; if that’s the case, this increase is generally done step-wise and quite slowly, to monitor the effects (and side-effects) properly. I suggest asking your doctors about what kind of trajectory they have in mind, so you can decide whether that suits you.

You mentioned mood swings; definitely mention that to your doctor! Psychological side-effects of ATX should be closely monitored

Note that this is especially important if someone has (potentially undiagnosed) comorbid disorders. I don’t know whether that’s the case for you, but better to be aware either way.

All that said, I also take ATX and I must say that on its own its effects are barely noticeable for me. It’s only because I know that my symptoms can be worse that I even consider it effective. I am an unusual case, though, regarding med-response etc. and I take ATX in combination with Elvanse (Lisdexamfetamine; LDX).

Which I guess brings us to stimulants. You say you’re reluctant out of fear to form a dependency, if I understand correctly. Well, the research is quite interesting in that regard — but let’s cover the basics first.

Stimulants

Stimulants, i.e., various types of amphetamines (AMP) and methylphenidates (MPH), are the standard first-line treatment for ADHD. Both AMP- and MPH-class drugs essentially increase the efficiency of the PFC —same as ATX — but where ATX only directly targets NA, AMP and MPH inhibit the reuptake of DA itself as well as NA reuptake. This direct effect on DA levels is basically (very basic; oversimplified even) what makes them stimulants. It is also likely the root for your concerns about dependence risks, because DA is involved in our reward-system in the brain — i.e. the thing that tells you “i want more of this”.

So, yeah, these concerns are not unfounded, HOWEVER

It is important to remember/note that a lot of the public narrative around ADHD and ADHD medication is heavily distorted by stigma. The number of people who worry about stimulants being addictive is leagues away from the actual prevalence of stimulant abuse/dependence.

This also kinda ties into your question about whether you will stop taking meds at some point or not; the idea that treatment must be temporary roots in the stigmatisation of mental health treatment.

I’m not saying that life-long medication treatment is a delight and a joy, but I also don’t think that it is the ultimate evil it’s sometimes made out to be. –– EXAMPLE: Think of a diabetic; they will need insulin for the rest of their life, but in their case nobody would ever suggest that them taking it is somehow a bad thing.

Mental health in general is unfortunately still heavily stigmatised, and that also impacts the narrative around treatment options, including medication. And more often than not, public beliefs about psychiatric conditions are downright and blatantly wrong.

In this particular case, actual research indicates that stimulant treatment actually decreases the risk for substance abuse in ADHDers. (Generally, adequate ADHD treatment reduces risks for all sorts of unpleasant things, like comorbid disorders, social isolation, divorce, accidents — I could go on. Not the point.)

The point is that overall, from a research perspective, the risk of drug dependence due to stimulant medication is quite low. Hell, literally everyone I know who takes ADHD meds will go “shit I forgot my meds” at least every other month or so.

Of course that doesn’t mean that we can all just pop stims however we like without a care in the world. As with any other medication, monitoring effects and side-effects together with a doctor is key.

With all that said, there is good reason why stimulants are first-line treatment for ADHD: 65-80% of people show a treatment response, and for a lot of people who don’t initially experience an effect, switching to another type of stimulant will often do the trick (total response rates of ~90%). Besides the fact that they work for more people, they also generally work better than non-stimulants, meaning that the symptom improvements are stronger for stimulants. Does this mean you should just get over yourself and go for stimulants because they’re clearly superior? Of course not.

Medication response is ultimately a very individual thing; it is basically impossible to know how you’ll react to any given medication before you try it. So in the end, it really comes down to what you want. It’s your decision, based on your priorities and values.

The same goes for your question of “will I take these meds forever” — that’s up to you!

Generally speaking, ADHD doesn’t go away. It is not something you grow out of any more than you can grow a second brain to replace the one you have. And our brains have ADHD. So, symptom-wise, we will always experience ADHD to some degree at least.

Of course, there are plenty of other treatment approaches such as CBT and literal mountains of helpful strategies to learn about and use. And that’s wonderful! Still, therapy alone is generally considered less effective than meds, but it does help. The best treatment approaches are multimodal, i.e. a combination of pharmacological treatment and behavioural interventions. Aka we take meds and go to therapy. Amazing.

So let’s say you’ve taken meds for a while, you’ve gone to therapy, you’ve learnt all the strategies — you decide to quit the meds. What happens?

Well first of all, nobody can know that beforehand, so keep in mind that these are hypothetical assumptions based on scenarios that research described as likely

Anyway, you quit whatever meds that ended up working for you. Ideally, you do that slowly so you don’t have any withdrawal issues, but eventually you’re off the meds. As a result, your brain isn’t getting that neurotransmitter boost anymore that the meds created (though some research shows that some benefits might persist, yay!), meaning that cognitive impairments are stronger again.

Does this mean all your symptoms come back? Well, yes and no. On a basic brain level, impairments return at least in part, but the strategies you learnt in therapy might still help you cope with those impairments better than you used to before.

So you might be overall more functional, thanks to those strategies, yes.

But strategies will not fix your brain chemistry, and if there’s no dopamine there’s no dopamine, and suddenly you spent all day in bed. Or you’re staring at your work open in front of you feeling like there’s a thick panel of glass between you and your screen/keyboard and you just cannot make yourself type. These things won’t go away, and strategies will not always do the trick

Personally, I dread the idea of living my life entirely off meds. My main hobby is writing, which is nearly impossible without my meds — and even if I had a less challenging hobby; I want to do things in life, not waste my time trying to get myself to brush my teeth. But, again, that is a very personal decision that you ultimately have to make for yourself.

Still, here are a few things to consider that might help you evaluate your options:

Need — what are your primary needs? Which symptoms are impacting you most? (Yes I’m getting to the RSD sfksjhgj)

Want — what are things you want beyond the most important needs? Where do your priorities lie?

Benefit — what benefit are you getting from [medication X]? How much positive effect does it have on your symptoms? On your life as a whole?

Need-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your essential needs? —> if not, that’s probably not the right med for you

Want-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your wants beyond the essentials?

Cost — what costs is [medication X] causing you? Do you have side-effects, if so what are they, how bad, how frequent?

Cost-benefit — do the benefits outweigh the costs, on a somewhat objective level? (effects vs side-effects)

Cost-benefit-want — Are the benefits worth the costs, also taking your individual values, concerns and goals into account?

This last one can get quite complicated, I’ll admit, but in the end I feel like this one is what tips the scale for a lot of people.

You could have the most amazing improvements, if you suffer side effects that keep you from something that is important to you, it’s probably not worth it in the end.

Vice versa, in my case, if it means I can write, I will accept that I’ll feel incredibly nauseated on some days for like 1-3 hours. It all comes down to individual choices in the end.

-deep breath- So, that was a lot, whops. So much, that I should actually go and work, so I’ll try to keep the RSD thing short. Conveniently, the AutoMod already summed up the most important bits:

RSD is not a recognised medical term

Instead of RSD, it is better to use concepts and terminology with solidly established definitions such as emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity to talk about the experiences people tend to label RSD

This is particularly important when consulting mental health professionals; well established concepts enable them to assess your symptoms and needs better than vague, ill-defined buzzwords. I have had people tell me they were going to switch to another doctor because theirs wasn’t familiar with RSD --- that is an issue!

Buzzwords like that tend to hinder treatment progress, because they are too vague to be properly informative. Most people have a very specific conceptual definition of RSD --- namely the one that describes their own symptoms best.

That renders it basically useless as a communicative device. Doctors cannot mind-read; you are doing yourself a favour if your communication (including terminology) is as clear as possible.

Obviously nobody expects you to know specialised medical terms --- just try to avoid buzzwords; of any kind! RSD is just a very very popular one and therefore warrants repeated clarification.

Now, just cause it’s not A Thing(tm), doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. And yes, the experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD is valid and should not be dismissed!

Emotional dysregulation is actually one of the most prevalent and most impacting symptoms of ADHD, but because it isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria, a lot of people aren’t even aware of how much ADHD impacts emotions — and how much that impacts life for ADHDers. Emotional dysregulation leads to all sorts of other problems, like social isolation or comborbid mood disorders like depression or bipolar. So, clearly, it’s something should be addressed when it comes to treatment.

And would you look at that, they did! Yay!

Research shows that stimulants are effective for reducing symptoms of emotional dysregulation; as mentioned earlier, ideally you combine that with therapy.

Especially for emotional dysregulation, therapy — not just strategies, therapy — can be very beneficial, because emotions are hard. A lot of ADHDers, especially those that only get their diagnosis in adulthood, develop suboptimal coping mechanisms throughout their life that are very hard to dismantle without help. But resolving those patterns often makes an immense impact on the general quality of life.

Conclusion: Get a good therapist. It’s worth it. (Good = someone you trust and click with, you have to be comfortable.)

Now, one last thing (almost done I promise), because you said you don’t really have anyone to talk to about this:

I strongly encourage you to actively seek out ADHD communities in a format that lends itself to connecting with people on a personal level.

So, quick story time: Back in 2018, I (by complete coincidence) stumbled over a video of a TEDxTalk about ADHD on Patreon – who even browses Patreon?! Anyway, I watched it. Cried. A lot. Backed that Patreon immediately, before even looking at the actual YouTube channel it was for. The Patreon came with Discord rewards — I had never heard of Discord but there’s nothing like ADHD impulsivity, so I made a Discord account and joined that server.

Literally my whole life has changed since then. My perspective on ADHD has changed so so much simply through seeing other people having the same struggles, and yet they were still unique. And it was a wild ride. I look at some of the beliefs I used to have and am baffled at myself. But that’s not the main point, though knowledge always does help. No, the main point isn’t another strategy or lifehack. The main point are friends. True, actual friends who accept you, but also understand you.

When I joined that server, I very quickly met a lot of people. It was wonderful to suddenly be in a space where people related to my experiences that had previously always singled me out as weird or rude or incompetent or whatever. And all those people were lovely, but they’re not the friends I mean; most of them I am not in touch with anymore. I mean the select few. They are what made the biggest difference for me. I met one of my top two best friends like 2 months after joining the server, when we both became moderators. We later did community management together for over a year, until I moved on to other things — they are still Community Manager there! I flew to the other side of the planet for their wedding. We spend hours on video chat sometimes, both just working and hanging out because we like each other’s company (and it helps us focus). I can tell them anything, even if I hate what I did or didn’t do or say or think.

Those friends.

And I don’t know you, obviously, so maybe you already have that friend, in which case I’m very happy for you. But judging by your statement that you have nobody to talk to—

I’m not saying that joining an ADHD community will magically drop a best friend for you out of the sky, but it’s honestly not a bad start. Simply gaining the peer support of people who understand and relate to your experiences is worth it.

Okay, phew. Now I’m done. For your convenience;

TL;DR

non-stimulants might still take effect or you might need a different dose

stimulants are heavily stigmatised and the actual risk for substance dependence is quite low if the treatment is properly monitored by a medical professional

ADHD doesn’t go away; we will always have ADHD brains and there will always be issues that cannot be solved with strategies

It’s up to you to decide whether you want to take medication for it, and whether you want to take them long-term or not. I personally am fairly certain that I will continue to take these meds as long as I can. Even though there are downsides, the benefits are more than worth it for me.

Emotions are hard, everyone should go to therapy.

Make ADHD friends! (I personally really like Discord communities; I can recommend the HowToADHD community — that’s the server I mentioned earlier — but it’s unfortunately behind a (very low) paywall. If you don’t know that YouTube channel, I’d also recommend checking out Jess’s videos.)

But back to the point: Friends. Whichever platform you are comfortable with – try connecting with people beyond surface level conversations in public comments/threads/channels. Slide into those DMs!

And that’s all. That was way too long and I apologise. I hope any of it was helpful and understandable, I know I can get a bit sciency sometimes. If anything is unclear just ask. Good luck with your journey! It might be hard in the beginning, but it gets easier with time, I promise.

END VERBATIM

I hope anyone finds this useful, if only for validation. Shit's hard, but we'll all be fine, together.

#this was a lot of effort #it's literally over 3000 words #pls be proud #i just want a headpat and validation #also i hope it helps #adhd #science #adhd science #research #rejection sensitivity #emotional dysregulation #medication #stimulants #adhd meds #information #comment response #reddit #purely informative

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babiebom · 3 months

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apologies for my absence- holiday periods are tiring lmao how were they for you? unfortunately we have yet to watch the fnaf movie, as our group is one that is exceedingly difficult to make plans around because we're all busy 💀 but then there's the one guy who doesn't want to leave his house lmao luckily, iv'e been pretty good at staying away from spoilers, so i've got that going for me. on the other hand, i'm planning to go see Trolls 3, and my mother and sister recently went to see the new Wonka movie. Though from what i've heard from a friend, Wonka's no good :// Yeahhh, if i actually commit to the mod, i'd have to learn pixel art and reteach myself code and programming 😭... i used to be somewhat decent at it. oooo yes i love a good choose your own adventure! they're so much fun and i've actually coded 1 of my own :,) it was through Visual Basics though, so the formatting was a bit weird for me lmao if you're going for a visual novel type of look and playability, I'd probably recommend Unity or itch.io? in my experience, Unity is probably easier to use.. theres another website/app i used but i can't recall the name sadly :( if i do i'll get back to you though! i don't have that much of a detailed request this time, but perhaps some fluff and love languages between rasmodius and the reader? or like hcs of rasmodius's evolving interest/thoughts arund the reader before finally getting together? i'd perhaps request nsfw/smut stuff too but tbh i just don't have any ideas 💛 tysmm :D -🔮

A/N: I’m glad you’re okay!! Honestly I’ve been sick these past couple of weeks (I caught pneumonia and had it for a month before going to the hospital. I thought it was a cold oopsies) I haven’t watched anything new recently but I am watching the third season of singles inferno with some friends. And I guess until I can figure out how to make a visual novel I have to write the fic out lmao sucks for me because I think a game would be better but oh well. What can I do? And like always I’ll try to do both!! Check back for the second one!!

Tw: cursing, slight nsfw but no full on smut. Let me know if there’s something I missed!!

Wc: I have no idea! But these are headcanons so 10+ is the goal!!

Sdv Masterlist

Okay so there are five main types of love languages.

Physical touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Quality Time.

I would also like anyone reading this to remember that these love languages are how you want to be loved/receive love not how you show love to others.

I do think that Rasmodius is very connected to himself

And by that I mean I think he knows himself very well, or at least he thinks he knows himself very well.

And for a long time I think he probably thought that Quality Time and Physical Touch were his main two love languages.

I mean idk if it’s canon but in my opinion I do think he cheated on the witch with Caroline

And I’m not gonna go into it here because this isn’t about them, but I think it might’ve had to do with that and his own struggles with temptations.

And I also think gift giving is canon for literally every single character in stardew because that’s the main way to befriend someone.

But I think that after marrying you/beginning to date you he realizes that his actual love language is words of affirmation.

While Physical touch and quality time are still very important to him, being with you makes him see that he really does like being praised.

Like whenever you say that he has done something well, or that you like something he has done his heart flutters as if he were a teenager again.

Especially when it comes to his magic

Like I feel like the townspeople aren’t really fond of him

And they never thank him for the things that he does whenever they actually need him for stuff

Like the haunted maze

Like they’re just talking about how weird he is and how he got it done

But they never stop and say anything that’s positive like WTF

So I think he would appreciate whenever you thank him or praise him and it would go straight to his head (which one idk 👀)

With quality time I feel like you get a lot of it after he moves to the farm

Like unless he’s working in his tower, or you’re off somewhere like in the mines

That you’re like together even if it’s spent in silence

And he loves that

Like he was super lonely before even if he doesn’t want to admit it

So just being in the same room as you counts as quality time for him.

And if you’re doing an activity that’s particularly domestic

He’s in heaven like he doesn’t wanna make it a big deal

But baking and helping you around the farm makes his heart soar.

I think in terms of how he shows love i think he would show it in acts of service and gift giving

Like oh you don’t feel well?

Don’t bother going to the clinic he’s just going to create a potion that stops you from getting sick

You’re afab and you’re having bad cramps during your period?

Consider them gone

Look at this thing he got for you

And while yeah this might seem like either a lot of insincere

In his mind and heart this is how he shows that he appreciates you and wants you to live a good and easy life.

If he can make things easier and less stressful for you

That’s exactly what he’s going to do

He loves you and while he loves receiving attention and love he’s kinda crap at giving it in the same way because he just doesn’t really know how

So this is how he does

He’s VERY romantic sometimes and shows it through gifts and services.

Very cute and a good significant other when you get past his rough exterior.

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prof-polaris · 28 days

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bird and i are officially leaving to the airport now

nothing

and i mean

NOTHING

NOTHING HAPPEN WHILE I AM GONE!!! I MEAN IT!!!

EVERYONE BE SAFE AND HAPPY!!!

PROMISE ME!!!!

//hello modigo here! polaris is offline because kittsu's next arc is gonna be INTENSE (HEED THOSE TAGS WHEN THE POST COMES OUT!! I MEAN IT!!!!) and while im so so excited and i think kittsu's mod has just some excellent and wonderful writing and storycrafting going on, some of the topics covered in that arc are things i personally cannot handle

so! we're taking polaris offline so that i dont have to see the arc through them having to interact with it!

polaris' main presence will be in them sending semi-weekly or more letters to Sprite @/thatfailedpokemontrainer and Delta @/pokemoncryptids

if youre thinking: "man, i want to see more of your character writing in real blog format while polaris is gone modigo" then do not even worry because i have three other blogs!

@unovan-gardener silly guy turned leafeon hybrid doing his best to manage his new form and instincts while also getting over ✨trauma✨

@cedar-scavenges local sleepwalker ends up in a new town everyday......and by new towns we mean sometimes he just straight ends up in a new region overnight? something is off here...

and my newest addition @naptime-noct champion class trainer with narcolepsy is doing daze's best to get through like, featuring @/rising-normal-type-star and @/bones-poison-and-pokemon as daze's friend/rival and love interest respectively!!

#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #rotomblr #pokemon irl #pokeblr #ooc post

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trans-rite · 5 months

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Last night your mods packed up our altar and brought it to our local anarchist infoshop and café for a beautiful TDOR event. A few dozen of us were squeezed inside the little venue for performances of music, poetry, and dance, and then we took the stage to lead the Rite.

[A photo of an altar set up on a round mirrored table. The altar cloth is a white and burgundy bandanna with images of sunflowers. On the altar are four small glass votive candle holders, each with an image of one of the Ancestor Helping Spirits, and one white pillar candle with a rainbow across the middle of it. There is also a clear glass vase containing white roses and baby’s breath, a blue goblet full of water, a small jar containing a mixture of glitter and ash, a few white and yellow silk daisies, a bottle of poppers, a shooter of lube, and a labradorite amulet. In the background, slightly blurred, are many potted plants.]

Alder started by explaining the origins of the Rite, and how it’s evolved over the years. (We agreed that they would do this part because it needed to be concise and that is one thing that I, Rocket, am not.) Then we spoke the prayer we developed last year for the new format of the rite.

[A close-up of a small glass votive candle holder with an image taken from the Devil card from the Lubanko Tarot, which we use to represent Agdistis. Next to the candle holder is a very small stone dick.]

After we shared the prayer, the group read the names of the family members we’ve lost in the last year. There were 391 names, read by ten community members, and after each reader finished, the crowd shouted “¡Presente!”

Over the course of the night, the entire group collaborated to write each name on a long scroll of paper.

[A scroll of paper stretching the length of a room, unrolled on the floor, with the names handwritten on it. At the end of the paper closest to the camera is a large blue triangle stamp bearing the words “Trans people belong here!” and the date. Many pairs of feet are visible on either side of the paper.]

After the reading of the names was complete, we returned to the microphone. Earlier in the day, the two of us had been talking about how we couldn’t know the names of the trans people killed in Gaza over the last month – over the last decades, really – and wanted to honor them as much as we could, so before we continued with our planned prayers I took the mic and called out, “AND ONE MORE TIME FOR ALL OUR FAMILY MEMBERS WHO WERE SUBJECTED TO A FINAL ACT OF VIOLENCE BY BEING ERASED IN DEATH AND BURIED UNDER THE WRONG IDENTITY AND DENIED THEIR RIGHT TO HAVE THEIR NAMES SPOKEN WITH LOVE INTO COMMUNITY, WE DON’T KNOW YOU BUT WE LOVE YOU, ¡PRESENTE!

AND ONE MORE TIME FOR THE UNCOUNTABLE FAMILY MEMBERS TAKEN FROM US BY THE MASS VIOLENCE, WAR, GENOCIDE, ETHNIC CLEANSING, AND CLIMATE CATASTROPHE BEING PERPETRATED ON ALL THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD BY A SYSTEM WHICH WE MUST HONOR THEM BY DESTROYING, WE DON’T KNOW YOU BUT WE LOVE YOU, ¡¡PRESENTE!!”

Then we continued with our planned prayers, the Mourner’s Kaddish, the Manifesto of the Order of Charonaea, and closed out with Assata’s Prayer, which we invited the crowd to call-and-response with us. I was heartened when speaking the Mourner’s Kaddish to hear that several people in the room were saying it along with me.

The evening closed out with a Theater of the Oppressed style embodied grieving and hoping exercise, and finally an open invitation to collaboratively bang on the biggest drum any of us had ever seen.

I think the Rite was received well, and we got a lot of really loving and grateful feedback that made us both feel like the Rite has come to a place where it’s both effective and accessible to people at any level of experience, which is what we were hoping. We’re grateful to the organizers for squeezing us in at the last minute and trusting us to bring some weird stuff, grateful to all of you for journeying with us this year, for sending us your asks and your altar photos to let us know that we’re together, and as always, grateful to the Ancestor Helping Spirits for being present with us in the work, speaking to us before, during, and after, having their hands on our shoulders, and welcoming the dead with celebration and love.

May they rest in power. May their memory be a blessing. May they never thirst.

[A photo of an altar set up in a dim room. The altar contains lit candles, art, and offerings, including a piece of slate bearing the Manifesto of the Order of Charonaea in decoupaged magazine cut out letters.]

-- Mod rocket

#mod post #troe2023 #trans rite of elevation #altars

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shadamyzine · 11 months

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Greetings from the Council of Shadamy! It’s about time we finally reveal ourselves! The Shadamy Zine Mod team consists of six dedicated moderators hoping to make this experience as great as possible for everyone involved!