#I am happy to say it was a solid year of growth!

[divinefeminine-card]

Pick a card: Your life two years from now

Hello everyone, it has been a while isn't it? I thought what should be the topic of my second pac. Then this idea came to my mind, not original but anyways haha. Now, before we head on I need you all to know that growth is different for everyone. Okay? And to be very honest, it is also as much fine if you feel you haven't grown at all, because I promise you have, it is inevitable. We are always growing.

To pick a pile now, choose whatever image attracts you first. Its fine if more than one image attracts you guys. And if nothing really calls you then this pac might not be for you, have a good day, lots of love and light to you :D

Piles:

1-2

3-4

5-6

Readings 🍒

Pile 1

Hello my Pile 1, what I am seeing is you guys, two years from now, would have gotten really experienced in certain areas of life. Like, you know the shit, alright? Combat, you are ready for combat. You are aware and awake. Ready to tackle any obstacle or whatsoever. The next two years are definitely very much significant for you guys in terms of emotional maturity. You guys will definitely learn to listen to your intuition. Let me tell you, it's NOT easy to listen to your intuition and not confuse it with other things but I am seeing you guys will be very much certain in this as well.

Uh-ha! Pile 1, you will definitely be doing some kind of work, job or creating something solid/stable by yourselves. Mark my words. You all will be so skilled omg I am so happy for you!!!! You all will be so meticulous in your craft, so expert! It's awesome!! I am getting the mature-independent vibes!!! It might be something you always had a talent of 👀

Going to get-togethers, parties, having your own standing. You know, you might frequent different parties, get-togethers, meetings. I am definitely seeing you all really standing your ground and own no matter what!! Just being confident in oneself.

Two years from now, you guys would have worked through many of your fears, mostly societal fear I believe. You will be your unapologetic self, love 🥺

If by any chance you are worried about your loved ones safety and security, fret not, they will be safe and secure :)))

I love you guys so much, hope you liked the reading.

Pile 2

Hello my Pile 2, Damn guys, majority of your cards are of Major Arcana!!

Two years from now, I am seeing you guys being more outspoken than ever before. Like, just saying whatever comes to your mind. It's kinda cute to be very honest (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

This is a very recurring typa theme in this pile, you guys will be your most balanced and in tune with yourself version of yours ever!!! I am seeing you and your lives to be very much at peace. Nothing too high, nothing too low. Things are going on calmly and peacefully. You will be connected to both your masculine and feminine side in perfect harmony. So happy. Your life and you, yourself will be so full of happiness and optimism, it would be contagious to the people around you. You will be blooming!!

You guys will be just and good. You will not be the type to be swayed by fake greed and flash. Protecting your peaceful life I am seeing. You will be the type to do your work quietly and retire to your chambers as soon as possible. Your coworkers will be very cooperative as well. You will be supported and looked after.

I see child-like happiness within you guys. You will be blessed and happy. You know that song Colorful World by Kathryn Ostenburg, that's what I am reminded of while doing this reading. I will link it here.

Lots of love and emotional time here. This can be a healing period for you. It might be a bit uncomfortable but trust it's gonna be so so good.

Pile 3

Hello my Pile 3!

Getting on with your reading, I am definitely seeing lots of competition, determination, using your resources, trying to be as quick as possible, preservation of wealth and defence of your own self.

Okay, so two years from now, your life will be quite in a moving state, like things are actively in motion. Situations and things are still building up. Resources are scattered so preservation is also very important. I am sensing that the environment you will be in two years from now will be quite competitive, and very very very opportunistic, selfish as well I think. Everyone wants to be at the top, but not everyone can be at the top here, so the brutal competition is.

Even though you will have secured your own position but I am still seeing the stance of defense and alertness here, ready to strike if anyone dares touch what yours truthfully, rightfully. Despite all of the harsh surroundings though, you still will be down-to-earth and humble at heart ❤️ Love that for you my pile 3. You are self-sufficient and happy in yourself.

Whenever you would feel seriously down, you would look at all the abundance you have, and be like "Oh, I have this, no need to be sad 💅🏻 🤓" haha, it's specific but boy do I feel it will be so true.

At times, the period might seem very bleak but always remember to hold your vision high my lovely pile 3, you all have got this okay?? No matter what, you all have got this! The answers you have been yearning for long will be given to you. Just hold on to the hope. Take these trials as the test of your commitment! You got this my pile 3! I love you 💖

Pile 4

Hello my Pile 4!! I am seeing a very fulfilled and happy life for you guys. Like, when I say fulfilled I mean, you would have the money, the wisdom and the love (both giving and receiving).

You would feel complete in ALL areas of life, my pile 4 I swear. You would not be afraid of being vulnerable either. Instead, I feel it will be something which will give you great strength in tough times. You would feel the success you have achieved after a period of growth. You will feel happy, pile 4, truly happy. You will be juggling different aspects of your life, most likely professional life and family life. It would be a difficult task but, oh aren't you a damn skilled juggler my pile 4?? Things will go up and down but you will skillfully balance them out.

You will definitely be fiercely protective of everything you have cultivated over the years, if something serious were to happen you wouldn't take a second to take the matter in legal hands. You are so cool for that! Never shy away. I am also seeing you might be in the position of leadership, leading people with wisdom and guidance.

Now, seeing the abundance of everything, some snakes might be growing themselves in your yard without your knowledge, in simpler words, someone close to you might not want your best and will try to sabotage you in some way. Look out for them.

Don't try to take too much in your control. If you are feeling so let it be, and if necessary so, let it go, let them go. Don't let pride get in your way. It's fine to sometimes just lower your guard down and be one with everyone. You and your loved ones are safe and sound, waiting for you to return home. Come soon ❤️.

Pile 5

Hello my Pile 5! So, I think it will be, what you can call a very balanced life. You know the ups and downs of life, going on and on and on in cycles.

I think two years from now, you guys will be in your healing era. Healing from the past wounds and preparing for the brighter future. Really proud of you guys. You know, healing is a process, a long one and sometimes a tedious one. So, these past wounds, rewiring your minds might keep you awake at night, thinking what you should or shouldn't have done, even if it seems like I promise it's not the end of the world. After this you all will be in a deep resting healing time. Like, genuine rest, not laying down and having all the lifetime crisis in a single moment.

When this all hard work starts showing their fruits, you will feel it, so my pile 5, two years from now, you guys will be embracing your femininity to its fullest finally, after needing to have kept it hidden. You will let yourself feel the emotions coming through you, to you. You will be secure and stable. You are like a young sprout 🌱, no matter your age, with a lot of potential to grow, and you will, watch my words. Two years from now, you will be comfortable in yourselves. Not taking shit from anybody finally.

You will start planting seeds for your better future. Carefully mending it. Looking forward to it.

I would also like to tell you, I feel you guys will get into a loving relationship or form a deep friendship with someone ;) whichever it will be, it will be healthy with boundaries, okay guys?? Healing is ultimately what you do, but you can never deny the environmental factors. This bond will definitely have a significant impact on you.

Have faith, look at the bigger picture and have fun. That's it! Bye pile 5!

Pile 6

Hello my Pile 6! The energy is quite dynamic must I say. It's all about taking back the control you were stripped off of or never had thought deserved in the first place.

The environment you will be in would be veryyyy competitive. It's like, even when you guys are doing the cheers 🥂 it will be a competition of who can do so the highest. There will be meaningful friendships but still competitive, no sabotaging though. There will be constant support from around.

The times will be quite chaotic. You never know when the rug would be pulled from beneath your feet. Unexpected things happen, one after another, no break or whatsoever. It will be like you are at the top of the world one second and the other at the bottom. Even though expected, it will always bring disturbance to you and your life. Things will seem like they are breaking down one after another. BUT WAIT!

You guys will be fighting (quite literally, academically, legally, physically, mentally (hopefully safely, don't worry)). Like, taking back what was meant to be yours. Working and practicing real hard, like REAL. And you will NOT be quiet about your strength my pile 6 😂 you will be like "I was gonna win. Told you so." It's fun. Anyways.

You will be so experienced during and after all this turmoil. You will finally gain the very much needed stability after all this time. You will reason with your head. Become a mature version of you, the version of desired. It's awesome!!

You pile 6, are definitely one sneaky fella :D you definitely know your way around your field and will get what you desire by hook or crook, good on you haha. You are the type to not attack from the front but rather from the side, neither are wrong though as long as you know you are doing well ;)

So guysss, the reading ends here. This is my second pac. Let me know how you like it, if you please. Any criticism or praise? Bring them on.

Hope you enjoy reading this pac as much as I enjoyed writing it! If anything, just more!

#free tarot reading #pac reading #free readings #tarot reading #oracle reading #divination #pick a pile #astrology #pac tarot #pick an image #Spotify

[fleshdyke]

i think it starts with an apocalypse. by sheer luck and circumstance, you survive. you seem to be the only one.

everything seems barren, eerily still, nothing but grass and trees and water. you survive, but there is nothing here. the only sign that anyone was ever here is pyramids of solid red brick, stacked up in a uniformly triangular shape. they don’t seem to do anything. you are alone.

your first night finds you tormented by the dead. they groan and creak and seem to be desperate to infect you. they are all dead by morning.

there’s only a few resilient species that seem to have survived along with you. they’re your only chance right now. the sheep provide companionship. you learn not to get attached to the pigs.

you build a home for yourself. it’s modest, nothing fancy, but it protects you from the elements. you still have hope. your footsteps echo through the empty house in the mornings. you are alone.

it takes years, but ever so slowly, the second hominid re-emerges. they build villages and farmland and are happy to barter with you. they have their own language. you seem to have forgotten yours.

you find the remains of wild animals you haven’t killed. you learn to be patient, and watchful, and you see the wolves that hunt in the forests. it takes a long time, but you gain the trust of one of them. she never leaves your side again.

you explore a little more. you find ancient temples in the deserts, booby trapped and filled with forgotten riches from millennia ago. you don’t know who built this. whoever it was disappeared a long time ago.

jungles flourish and bring with them tropical fruit and colourful birds and skittish cats that seem to love fish. you take home as many as will follow you. the world isn’t quite so quiet anymore.

the oceans come alive again. it’s no longer an empty, unforgiving void that you just so happen to be lucky enough to float on. schools of fish flicker away into vast kelp forests when you cast your lure into the water. the tropical shallows fill with a myriad of fish and coral in every colour you can think of. you find an old boat, much bigger than anything you could ever construct, laying dormant at the bottom of the sea. the writing on the maps you find there is familiar.

there is a temple in the middle of the ocean. you don’t know who built it, but it’s been reclaimed by the fish. you don’t dare go there anymore.

bees buzz softly through the air. you learn to keep them, and learn to harvest their honey, and your crops grow better than they ever have. your livestock keep you busy. your livestock keep you distracted.

even the lost dimension that connection to was severed so long ago returns to its former glory. you explore forests of mycelium and dunes of sticky sand and basalt spires and with them they bring the lost intelligent hominid. you learn quickly not to touch their temples, no matter how run down they seem to be. they are holy.

and even in the most hostile, barren places, deep underground, the place where only you seem to have ever been, life flourishes. glowing lichen lights your way and bears you fruit. massive caverns and underground freshwater pools are home to unique plants and unseen amphibians.

and even after so much growth, and so much recovery, you are still alone.

you search. you search for months that turn into years that turn into decades. what was once a humble homestead has grown into a fortress. you are safe there. you are alone. on every expedition, you leave markers and statues, anything to say i was here. i am alive. you set up beacons to signal to anyone who might be out there. no one ever responds. you are alone.

you follow forgotten maps to the ends of the earth to find anyone that might have survived alongside you. you cannot give up. you cannot be alone.

you experiment. you’ve found a way to cure infected villagers, to return them home, but have had no such luck with the remains of your own species. you think they’re your own species. they’re the closest thing to you that you’ve seen. you grow desperate.

the humanoids that walk freely between their realm and yours used to frighten you, but you’ve been alone for so long you find yourself talking back to them. you begin to hear greetings in the noises they make. you know they aren’t talking to you. you wish you could talk to them. you don’t try to make eye contact.

you follow every clue you find in forgotten ruins. they always lead to nowhere. you piece together portals to other worlds, and find nothing but hostile hellscapes and misery. you have travelled across the world. you’ve gone from blistering deserts and over unforgiving mountains and through freezing tundras and across oceans to find someone, anyone. there is never a new signal, a new clue. there is never anything to indicate that there are any survivors.

you are alone.

your bones creak. it’s been so long. you don’t want to die. you don’t want to take your species with you.

so what do you think, when you turn to see someone standing in a doorway in your fortress that you spent decades building? someone so unmistakably human, someone you’ve spent your entire life searching for to no avail, someone you’ve been constantly lying to yourself about, convincing yourself they were out there somewhere, all the while knowing they weren’t?

you don’t know if you’re hallucinating, if you’ve finally slipped into madness. if this is just a stroke of bizarre luck, that the other survivor has found you before you could find them. if this is another malevolent entity in a world full of strange magic and power, something that was once human, or is only somewhat, or is just appearing to be, and is simply better than the others at pretending.

only one way to find out.

#i think today i will write a poem about minecraft #mc is a psychological horror game. and i fully believe this #and that makes it one of the best games ever made amen #btw dsmp fans dont interact. i hate you and your racist white guys #rambles #poetry #poems #minecraft #mc #horror #writing #my art #long post #psychological horror #unreality #100 #best

[bigwishes]

Hey I am in dire need for some help!

I'm a 6'4 handsome jock, big beefy muscles, a deep baritone voice and got every guy on the team begging to suck my 8.5-incher.

I know this al sounds amazing and fuck yeah it is.. but the last few days I felt weak, not like I was sick or anything, but like my strength started leaving me. I heard a lot about your wishes where people drain their bullies or the jocks of their school. I'm an upstanding person, I have helped go up against bullying even from my teammates, I've helped my younger brother in the gym when he didn't know what he needed to do, even coach thinks I have everything he needs to become state champion this year.

So please save me from loosing all my hard worked size, I don't even know who is doing this to me.

Oh no you're losing muscle?!?!?! well we can't have that. The truth is mate I know exactly what is going on and who is doing it to you. A new student at the college gym always wanted to work out but his parent's never let him, worried it might stunt his growth. He desperately wanted to catch up and asked if I could put everyone in the gym's gains on him for the next week. Nobody noticed but you've got a keen eye and seem to notice what's going on so I tell you what I'll stop this guys wish, tell him to wish for something new and as a reward for being so perceptive I'll make you the new focus of the wish. Get you your gains back from the past few days and give you the gains of everyone who goes to the gym for the next week.

Day 1 was dope as fuck, your muscle felt pumped again, you were no longer tired after lifting and you felt incredibly solid after a workout. You were happy to be yourself again, working towards you goals. As much as you had prided yourself on hard work and being natural you were low key excited for a little magical boost, just a couple pounds of muscle from magic surely would still make you natural, after all the gains being sent your way are still gains worked for, just not gains worked for by you.

Day 2 was even better, whole fuck you were pumped all the time, you probably didn't even need to go to the gym but you wanted to, you loved the gym and didn't want to take the week off because you were getting free gains. After all it was like working double time getting swole, you were excited for the state championships in a few months and to go home and see your brother and show off your gains. The Christmas dinner keeps running in your head of him asking you how you got massive and you just saying diet and exercise. the thought of entering a bodybuilding comp crossed your mind, you were getting huge and its not like you could test positive for roids, and you'd never be tempted by them either.

Day 3 was different, you woke up at 12:01am on the dot and felt an insane pump, it wasn't slow and every lasting like how day 2 was this was fast, like a flood of blood throughout your whole body, like you were being pumped up like a balloon,

You struggled on your bed feeling more and more mass being added to your frame. The growth finally subsided and you passed out.

You struggled driving your car to the campas gym, the seat was uncomfortable and your thighs and swollen up so big you gym shorts felt like they were cutting off the circulation to your legs, maybe you should take the rest of the week off....or maybe ask for the growth to stop now....

Day 4 was a struggle, you had another growth surge in the middle of the night and it really set in just how much mass hundreds of people using the 24 hour gym daily can make. You would be fine to be like this, it'd be awesome and absolute easy win at state championships followed by sponsorships, you could drop out and be paid by supplement companies to simply pose with their products, but you couldn't get bigger than this, anymore size and you wouldn't even be able to get in your car anymore, no, you had to text the genie and ask for it to end early.

Day 5 was hell, you had a growth spurt in the middle of the gym changing room, bringing a whole new meaning to the words "Changing Room" not a single person in there noticed, like the magic was just making everyone thing you were always this big. Your coach had commented on how genetically gifted you were, apparently you had been made to do a random roid test several times and always come back clean, something you had no memory of. Going through old social media posts you saw you were much bigger in high school then you actually were, like the past was changing to accommodate for all this new found size.

Still after today you knew you didn't want anymore, even your best friend stood next to you as your posed your hulking frame in the mirror.

"bro, there is such a thing as too large, slim down for a few months or you'll be off the team for being too slow"

He was right, the new size was impacting your ability to play, one strong and fast you were now just strong, a brick wall no one could get by sure but what was the point it you couldn't chase a guy down or move your arms properly to catch the ball.

Day 6 was spent messaging the genie all day different combinations of "I wish to be smaller" or "please stop the growth now" any phrase you could think of to try to get the genie's attention to stop the growth. What your young mind thought would be cool t first turned into your biggest nightmare, you had outgrown your car and you couldn't even sell it for a new one as last time you got out of it you completely caved in the drivers side by simply shutting the door. You spent an hour walking to the gym, the only thing to clear your mind was lifting weights. During a rest your daily does of growth kicked in, your pecs and traps were swelling so close to your neck you could barely turn your head anymore.

Day 7, the final day of growth. You had become a fucking monster. Lost your place on the team from barely being able to move. You were staving all the time and spent most of your day now shovelling food down your throat as simply waling down the dorm room stairs caused you to burn a whole day's work of calories for any normal guy. You were anxiously awaiting today's growth and spent the whole day locked in your room. Everything around you was destroyed, unable to handle all the strength you had busted most things you touched and your furniture had all collapsed. Cheap college budget furniture could barely hold your weight how you were before all this but now it was just scrap wood and metal on the floor, you couldn't even bend down to pick it up. The whole day passed you buy and you saw the time 11:30pm...any moment now your final growth would happen and then you could figure out how to reverse it, or live with it. You tried to think positively, how awesome it would be to be an absolute monster, how much action you'd get. A deluded lie you told yourself, the truth was after what you did to your care you were terrified to go on a date or out for a hook up, every time you thought about it you could only think about accidently breaking the guys spine, but you'll finally get to figure all this out in just a few minutes, after tonight no more growth, just learning to live with the size. A message appear on your phone, from the genie, maybe he had finally seen your messages, maybe he'll shrink you back to how you were a few days ago, maybe you'd get punished for turning away the gift and turned into a twink....but being a twink would be better than this.

"hey bro, hope you are enjoying all the mass from the guys in the gym, today is gonna be a bit different. I explained what was going on to the original wish maker and he felt shitty and made a new wish, he wanted the nicest guy in the gym to triple in size and well I have decided you're nicest guy! you've been great carrying your team and just being a nice guy in the gym so I dunno how big you are now mate but I hope you always dreamed to be massive. If you've gotten too big from this tell me now and Ill stop the wish but after 11:59pm thats it, it goes through and nothing I can do about it"

You laughed loudly, this was your chance, to get the body from a few days ago, be a massive goliath but not be too big. Thank god. 11:45, still heaps of time. You excitedly went to message back but your phone slipped out you massive hands. Instinctively you went to catch it before it landed on the floor *CRUNCH...you opened your hand to see bits of crushed aluminium and glass slip out your fingers and on to the floor. You stopped, in shock you simply got off your bed and walked to the bathroom mirror. No one had gotten shell shock from breaking their phone before but you just stood in your bathroom, barely big enough for you to fit in and stared at yourself in the mirror. You thought you had become a monster, no, you were a freak, a massive freak of nature but in just a few more minutes, then, then you'd truly become a monster and there was no way for you to stop it now.

---------------------------------------------

Morphs in the story done by the incredibly Max Morphs check out their blog and show them some love.

Here:https://www.tumblr.com/maxmorphs

#male transformation #muscle transformation #muscle #male tf #reality change #tf story #muscle morph

[crimeronan]

wait say more about how u use tarot to make ur OCs

oh sure!!

you can basically customize whatever spread you want to whatever project you're working on. i also sometimes use tarot for solving plot tangles or inspiring new plot points.

essentially you make a tarot spread like you're asking introspective questions or questions about the future -- but you're asking questions about a character instead.

then you can write down the results and interpret them based on the card's various potential meanings. tarot is all about using vague concepts to clarify your internal thoughts and feelings, it translates REALLY WELL to writing fiction.

i just pulled out my novel planning notebook and am thrilled to report that i have Pages And Pages of tarot spreads & interpretations in here. not just sol ruby devin and nova's original spreads, but also spreads about their relationships to each other, the environment surrounding them, etc

i'm not gonna transcribe my entire reading and interpretation for all four of the main quartet. i Will say that i pulled nova's cards first, said "these are all so well-adjusted and boring," and then rafi said "but what if she's the antagonist," and...... the rest is history.

this is the spread i used:

core self (one card to return to for their personality or archetype)

childhood (what most impacted how they grew up)

parents (relationship with parents)

education (background in school, study, etc)

friendships (either an important friend or generally how this person does friendships)

sex/sexuality (their relationship to sex and romance, if any)

goal (their overarching narrative goal)

fatal flaw (what will be their downfall)

work (career, attitude toward work, etc)

mental health (is it bad)

how far they'll go (what will they do to achieve the goal in #7)

fear (their biggest fears & how they manifest)

strength (a core character strength of theirs)

the core cards for each member of the quartet are

nova - the star

sol - queen of pentacles

ruby - queen of cups

devin - strength

and again, not gonna post the whole spreads, but. if you do something this involved, you'll find that certain bits will stick out Much more than others. i did these spreads in 2019 and would say a solid 80% of the cards are STILL relevant four years later in 2023. even as the project itself has undergone multiple scrapped drafts and revisions and plot changes.

some example highlights would be:

nova is my main antagonist. her spread is littered with stability, growth, reward, responsibility, opportunities, wishes, potential, dreams, whatever. her fatal flaw is the ace of wands, the fire card, a sign of creativity and passion. her parents are represented by the tower, the most chaotic and destructive card in the deck.

so here we have a woman born and groomed into enormous power by incredibly questionable forces, who has been raised not to care about the destruction surrounding her, and who has lived an Extremely Charmed life. uh oh!

sol's childhood is the seven of swords - betrayal, deception, loss. her friendships are the three of swords - disappointment, heartbreak. her strength is the five of swords - conflict, dishonesty, intimidation, lack of reflection. her fear is the magician - resourcefulness, willpower, desire, manifestation.

and. well. that's my antihero bitch. she sucks so bad. god bless

ruby's spread is much kinder by comparison. a calm childhood with happy parents, friendships and sexual relationships that are focused on partnership. her goal is justice. self-explanatory. her mental health is the four of swords - the exhaustion card. her fatal flaw is the two of wands - plans, anticipation, restlessness, lack of contentment.

so here's this woman who loves so much and so deeply and cares so much about so many things..... and has trapped herself inside a life that makes her fundamentally unhappy. because she can't walk away

devin's fear is the five of pentacles, a card that represents loss. often called The Breakup Card. it can also mean a loss of faith. their mental health is the ten of wands - burdens, responsibility, obligation, burnout. their goal is the knight of swords - ambition, battle, assertion, big changes.

so here you have an exhausted chronically ill mess who's standing alone because they're the only person who can do so, fatally loyal to their loved ones & burning with quiet rage n a desire to rip down the entire system.

like i said, you can customize any spread for any character or relationship. you just wanna ask broad questions about what that character or relationship looks like, and then interpret the cards in whatever way is most inspiring to you! i consider tarot a tool for creativity rather than an end-all be-all of fiction plotting.... take what you like, leave what you don't.

#replies #long post #tarot #writing advice #i guess? #original fiction #original fiction quartet

[thinkpink212]

In 2024 I’ll be standing on business. Do what I say I’ll do Aka stay true to my word. Ill be closing doors to anyone who hinders my growth or no longer adds any value to my life. Leaving all grudges & animosity behind, taking in every lesson(s) learned and applying what I’ve learned. I’ll be listening more to my body and intuition. There will be no more holding back or resisting change. I will be saying no more, and not be afraid to take back my yes, if I no longer feel committed or up for it. I’ll no longer be over explaining myself. One strike and people are out, benefit of the doubt & second chances are for one time-offenders, not for ignored and untreated character flaws. I’ll believes people when they tell me who they are, unless their actions tell me something else — regardless, what I see, hear and feel will be applied. I’ll be valuing my time and treating my energy as the most precious thing, as it should be. I’ll take myself out more, solo dates and self care pampers that aren’t a reward because I deserve nice things and a good time regardless of what I’ve done or not. Ill no longer interfere in others lives, unless asked and feeling met with openness, because people will either find their way eventually or stay stuck, and I don’t have time for sinking in others quicksand. I’ll continue to lead by example and be who I deserve for myself. I’ll value my work and the process more, and try to stay in the moment as much as possible. I’ll start dedicating mornings to myself more, and not allow for stress or worry to hinder me. I’ll let things flow naturally to me, and around me. I’ve learned a lot about myself and will learn even more. I’ll try harder to let go of the need to control. I am exactly where I am suppose to be. No amount of projection, opinions or takes will shake me or mine, because my foundation is solid and everyday I build on top of it.

2024 is the year of karma, and ill take the light with the dark because I know it’ll be for my benefit and lead to greater things.

Happy New Year 🥂

#thinkpink thoughts #thinkpink upload #lifestyle

[intotheelliwoods]

Ouughhh the best way I can put those 10 years is really just, little moments. Thats really all it was, 10 years of just peace and everyone could actually relax..? Shredder was gone, aside from maybe fixing/cleaning the city the Krang were gone. The foot outside New York have not bothered regrouping just yet. There was no one to fight, just moments to live

Memories included in those 10 years off the top of my head:

-The time Medium Leo tried to put on one of his socks/leg wraps really fast only for it to rip

-Big and Medium going to the hidden city and shopping around for Medium Leos new look

-At some point or another Medium Leo had to undergo another port surgery due to his growth, and the old port no longer being his size, but he didnt mind much

-Donnie got to build a new arm, Medium Leos current arm is definitely one of his favorite creations

-Casey got to go to the zoo with Cassandra :) Those two sooo spent lots of time getting to know eachother, not really as mother son, but still as family

-Medium Leo being strong enough to pick up Big Leo! Ha that was a day

-Mikey learned to float! With help of Big Leo ofc

Some of this I would love to draw but mannn, my plate of things I need to draw is getting scarily big haha

---

Yeah.. :( With BIg Leo we knew, sorta nothing about him, just a vague idea that was never really plot important so it was not brought up often. We all knew him as just, the strong guy with good advice yeah? Someone you could depend on and who would always be there.

With Medium Leo, you know what happened. Each time he gives solid line of advice, or any line in general, you know exactly where its coming from and you can figure out exactly what happened in his past that made him say that you know? (I know hes had like, no lines after the whole time travel ordeal but give me some time to work on later updates haha!)

This was definitely a big risk for me ough! I didnt even think I would get this far a while back! I am sooo happy theres people still invested in the story after all this! :) Thanks for sticking around waa!

@alltheyearsblog

---

Oh you are so not alone, autodesk was kinda a trip for me too after I swapped computers a while back! I have a weird story with autodesk-

Listen, I got autodesk for free, years ago, and to this day I have no clue how I even managed that! On top of that I have some special imported brushes that I dont even think you can find online anymore????

Because when I switched computers, 1. I could no longer find a free version of autodesk, so I had to just transfer the program file from my old to my new computer, and 2. I could no longer find the free online brush packs! I had to transfer those files too!

But yeah hello! Autodesk be wack but thats why I love it <3

---

Not paying for your therapy bills o7 @justletmereadmycomics

#2 arms left #asks #btw to the one anon who sent me a really massive ramble #no I have not forgotten about you #you just inspired a potential mini comic if I find time <3

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Survival/Wilderness Fic & Hair Brushing/Braiding

Happy New Year everyone! It's me, same as yesterday, no rest for the wicked!

@fellowshipofthefics is back with a new monthly event...so here I am <3

Thank you kindly to @cilil for always indulging me <3

Prompts: Survival/Wilderness Fic & Hair Brushing/Braiding

Pairing: Aiwendil x Curumo

Requester: @cilil, my beloved

Words: 1 100

Warnings: sexual innuendo, tension

At first, Aiwendil didn’t want to say anything—he was so happy and proud that Curumo had agreed to accompany him on a foraging expedition that he was afraid that any criticism he might have expressed regarding the outfit and general demeanour of his friend would only end up dismaying the prideful Maia.

Even worse, Curumo could decide that this whole enterprise was too silly for him and return home to his forge and hardy companions, leaving Aiwendil heartbroken and alone.

Usually, Yavanna’s devoted, soft-spoken Maia would not have thought of himself either as a coward or as a disingenuous creature, but—when it came to Curumo—he had to admit that many of his best resolutions and most solid moral principles were insidiously amended and corrupted by the overwhelming desire to please and impress one so accomplished and masterful in his own right.

As they made their way through an increasingly dense patch of wild underbrush, though, Aiwendil’s soft, compassionate heart was no longer able to bear the muted grunts of discomfort and pain his diligent companion uttered time and again.

“Dearest,” he said very softly, lifting a tender hand to express his benevolence and controlling his face to erase even the last vestige of patronising indulgence. “I should have warned you that it would not be an easy trek—forgive me for being so thoughtless!”

Turning around to Curumo, he caught sight of a multi-coloured array of twigs and leaves, deeply enmeshed in the silken strands of his fellow’s unbound hair. Indeed, Aiwendil could retrace their whole path by analysing the entangled layers of greenery and nought else.

“I’m quite all right,” Curumo declared haughtily, but—in a moment of weakness and vanity—he tried nevertheless to extirpate a particularly pesky branch that was dangling mockingly from a lock falling messily into his dour face. “There is no need to change anything to your habits on my account!”

“I am not,” Aiwendil cried immediately, waving his sensitive, soft hands to and fro. “Nevertheless, allow me to take care of your beautiful hair."

Curumo’s face froze into a mask of unequivocal vexation.

“We’re halfway there, and the weather will hold. Surely, you would not deny me a break? Remember, unlike you, I am not used to strenuous physical exertion,” Aiwendil cooed and started moving again, leading his beloved friend, for whom he harboured the most tender, vulnerable, and laughably hopeful affection, to a sunny clearing within a ring of benevolent old growths.

Uttering a deep sigh of feigned fatigue, he let himself drop to the soft grass and looked up at Curumo expectantly. “Join me, please!”

“If you so say so,” Curumo muttered under his breath—his face was high in colour, and Aiwendil would have loved to know whether it had been his offer or the tiring trek through the foliage that had painted that stern, angular visage such a gorgeous shade of sunset pink.

It was not customary for Maiar of different vocations to touch one another in so intimate a fashion if there was no immediate, pressing need for such an intervention, and they were both painfully aware of that fact when Curumo wordlessly slotted himself between the other’s spread thighs.

His back was straight and tense, and his long-fingered, skilled hands were folded neatly in his lap as he waited for the unspeakable to happen.

Overhead, a few birds chirped their alarm.

“You have such a beautiful voice,” Aiwendil whispered into Curumo’s ear. “Compelling, mighty, enchanting—would it be too impertinent of me to ask for a song? My friends are surprised to find you here, and they would certainly love to hear you sing.”

Unseen—for he still had his back resolutely turned to those soft, pleading eyes—Curumo gave a low grunt of annoyance; he was hardly the kind of being who easily countermanded his dignity by warbling to foolish, feathered creatures.

Before he could make his refusal known, though, warm fingers slid into the hopelessly knotted strands of his hair. With the skill and delicacy of a small critter foraging for berries, Aiwendil had begun the arduous task of freeing Curumo’s head from the manyfold mementoes of their forest walk.

The silence—only disturbed by the demanding chatter of the birds and the muted rustle of discarded greenery—soon became unbearable, so Curumo resigned himself to his unseemly fate of serenading the avian inhabitants of the idyllic meadow while his most cherished friend carded his diligent digits through his messy hair.

Every time Aiwendil’s blunt nails raked across his scalp, Curumo’s harmony faltered a little as he had to bite down a visceral moan of pleasure and illicit greed—Aiwendil, he thought, was far too seductive for his own good.

No doubt, the little fellow thought of himself as being a good, helpful friend even as Curumo battled the least amicably pure thoughts he had ever conceived.

“Will you permit me to braid your hair?” Aiwendil asked, a little breathlessly, when he had finally finished fishing out the last debris. Curumo’s hair ran like a magical waterfall—warm but dry—across his palms, and his heart broke at the mere thought of having to let those smooth locks fall to bony shoulders never to be touched again.

“Braid?” Curumo mused aloud, astonished and discombobulated. He had always admired the intricate hairdos Mairon favoured, and—admitting that Aiwendil probably knew best what lay ahead of them yet—he ultimately agreed.

“I think we’ll take the scenic view,” Aiwendil babbled as he started plaiting with calm, rhythmical efficiency. “It will take a little longer, but at least the path is wide and mostly clear.”

“Thank you,” Curumo croaked throatily. “I think I’d like that. How did you enjoy my performance then?”

He was desperate to distract both of them from the heat flaring in his cheeks and gnawing on his insides.

“I loved it,” Aiwendil admitted with unashamed enthusiasm. “It was beautiful, as everything else about you. There—I am done. If I may say so myself, this is quite a successful tress.”

Fingering the thick braid falling over his shoulder now, Curumo smiled to himself. His hair smelled like verdant plants and wildflowers, and he would relish the scent for as long as he could.

Reconciled and merry, they took up their wandering once more.

“Oh, I just remembered,” Aiwendil then said when they reached a plateau, overlooking the vast valley at their feet. “We’ll soon pass a hot spring…Do you care to take a bath to soothe those sore muscles?”

Curumo pondered an instant. “Will you redo my braid after?” he grinned.

@fellowshipofthefics Here's the first one. 01/01/2024 - I am punctual!

Lots of love from me!

-> 🌟Masterlist 🌟

#og post #FOTFICS January #FOTFICS 2024 #January Trope Roulette #2024 #Fanfiction #writing #IDNMT writes #jrrt #Tolkien fanfiction #Curuwendil #Aiwendil #Curumo #Saruman #Radagast #Survival/Wilderness AU #Hair Brushing/Braiding

[driluth]

happy winter solstice!!

it feels a little silly to admit but sometime within the last year i went back and deleted a lot of my personal text posts so i'm going to repeat some things and in theory try to refrain from deleting this post one day. we shall see.

i feel like this is really the year i grew up, and i'm very proud of myself and happy with the life i've created!! i've got a solid work/life balance, and i'm really grateful to be living with one of my best friends in one of my favorite areas of my city!! i have time to write before work every day and i'm happy with my job. looking forward to not work in retail one day but i am grateful to get my bills paid + this is the year i finally mastered budgeting (amazing that it does indeed make a difference)

i know i keep saying this but i promise, i WILL be posting fic again soon!! i have been working on fic, but typically i've been prioritizing original content lately--i am on the THIRD draft of my novel!! a year ago i was working on my first draft and i'm very proud of how far i've come with it!! also my poetry collection is almost done, which is such an insane concept

idk if it's my saturn return or what but this has been such a year of growth and reflection and getting in touch with myself!! one of my friends kindly reminded me that i don't owe anyone an explanation about my sexuality, but coming to terms with my bisexuality after having identified as a lesbian for so many years was really jarring and intense!! JUST to get my heart broken by a man immediately? be so serious. live laugh love what can you do. i am grateful to have explored that side of myself and it was nice to learn that hey, i can be vulnerable and open and brave. manifesting to one day meet someone who can match my energy 💕

i am really happy to be single atm tho and come home and snuggle with my cat every day!! it is my cozy girl winter and that is that 💕

i have a lot to look forward to next year (my creative projects, travel, diving back into music by relearning how to play piano) and idk. i think if i could go back in time to any age and tell my past self that this would be my life i'd be really happy to hear it, and that concept means everything to me.

wishing you all very happy holidays 💕

#rhys.txt

[ducktracy]

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

i say everything is a hard question… BUT IT’S TRUE! THESE ARE HARD! i like different pieces for different reasons, and favorite doesn’t exactly equate to “best” (which doesn’t matter of course!) BUT. i’d probably wage these guys… and i’ll tell you why below!

this is unequivocally my favorite thing i’ve ever drawn to date for a myriad of reasons! the short of it is: it’s my favorite cartoon of all time, with my favorite cartoon characters of all time, i got to flex my muscles in different mediums, i took my time with it, i’m happy with the little details, it feels believably human, and it’s my love letter to all of my favorite influences. i love it so much that it’s my background on my phone!

i don’t think words will ever be able to accurately describe how much cartoons mean to me. how much being a cartoonist means to me. i especially will never be able to accurately express just how much the work of influences such as Bob Clampett, in this case, have touched me to my core. i do think though that this piece, more so than others, is a particularly effective way at getting those points across. it was definitely made with love, sincerity, and passion, more so than others. it’s a very comforting piece and i think is a very solid representation of me! not that my art is all about me, and i didn’t make this with the intention of appeasing myself in mind, but it is a very “Me” piece, and unapologetically so. i could stand to be much more self indulgent, so it’s nice to have.

this was a redraw of a picture i’d made in my sketchbook in high school! i’d work on it in my AP Literature class over a matter of days, and my friend and i’d talk about setting up our own Krusty Krab restaurant someday HAHA. who knew i’d be doing what i do now!! i love it for that nostalgic connotation alone, but i’m also very happy i got to transform it into what it is. fun perspective! bold lines! my only regret is mistakenly coloring the floor brown instead of green… but i honestly thing it sort of adds to the authenticity? comic halftones took a lot of shortcuts (especially in golden age comics), so i just try to see it through that lens HAHA.

3. i’m a big fan of this for its versatility! i’m happy to have tried something a bit differently than i normally do. it’s stylized and warm, but still true to both the original Rocky and Bullwinkle and to my sensibilities! i’ve gotten a lot of print requests on this one too, which makes me happy

4. i’m very pleased with how bold this is (and for stepping out of my usual menagerie of characters!) i really like how crisp and sharp it feels, but also maintains that sort of warmth and familiarity i’m always striving for. very happy with the poses as well. i know for a fact i was thinking of Frank Tashlin when drawing Max especially!

5. another one i love for nostalgia, as well as loving for representing yet another cartoon very important to me! i’m very fortunate to have drawn many more seasoned Daffys and Porkys since this, but am particularly fond of it seeing as i had drawn this alternative only a YEAR before! it was my first time drawing Daffy! i think it really represents my growth as an artist in such a short amount of time, and i’m eternally grateful that i’ve made even more progress since then. it being a redraw of one of my favorite images of all time helps greatly!

#anonymous #asks #long post

[felizusnavidad]

Ha! A nickname? Cute idea! From now on, I'll end my message with the daisy emoji since that's my middle name and use pops of green in the message.

It absolutely does feel good to be told that! Not to get too side-tracked, but I actually took a break last summer from the boutique because I got a job offer at a startup cosmetics store. I realized pretty quick that that industry wasn't for me lol. It's a great company and I love all the brands as well as products the company carries, though! When I broke the news to my parents, instead of being supportive and saying the things like you said, they just got onto me and was like "Do you even have a job lined up?" and "Why?" Another reason was my mental health was declining, which shocked me, and I now know that one reason was because we had to wear solid black. I love dressing up! Anyways, I swear they just made me feel bad about quitting, but I still did two weeks left because I wanted to (and did) end on good terms with my manager and the company. Irrelevant fun fact: She was actually my manager for this boutique at another location closer to my city in 2022 after I transferred there in March! All of that is a different story lol.

AANNYYWAYSSSS,

I called the manager I used to work with at this boutique in the city we both started in together in 2021, asking if she still needed an assistant manager, and she did, so I went back there in September last year. I love the company and everyone I've worked with from 2021 up to now, but, like I said, it's just boring for me (especially since because I love the arts and creativity) and there's not growth beyond assistant manager. I can become a manager, but there's no telling when that would be. And to be honest, I don't want to wait around any longer to find out. For good. Moving out will change my life and most definitely make me happier. I was on my own in college (I hated where I went!) for 4 years and I LOVED it. I loved and now miss being independent. I am both and introvert and extrovert lol. I want to have holiday parties at my own place!! I'm open to moving to a new city New York or Los Angeles, or even Paris or France (especially considering my bachelor's degree and now master's).

Once again, you're amazing, and thank you so much!! And yes, this will be our year!! I'll keep you posted!!

~🌼

great! so from now on i'll be using a special tag for your asks, so it's easier for you to find my answers (i'm not posting much these days anyway but still i like to keep things organized here 🤭). daisy anon it is! (cute btw!)

see, this is the thing about parents: i feel like they don't really care about your happiness as much as they do about you just doing things right... (not ALL parents, i'm sure some are actually supportive, but i get it cause my mom is the same kind of person lol). it may look like they are trying to force you to do all the things you don't want to do & they think they know exactly what is best for you, when in reality they know shit. i've always felt like the biggest failure because i refused to do exactly what my mom wanted for me (this is the main reason why i moved to the other side of the country lol). it's good that you tried something else tho, at least you know now that it's definitely not for you! but i suggest moving out as quickly as you can, you don't need anyone to tell you what to do, you have to decide for yourself.

like i said before, it's amazing that you want to aim higher. you know exactly what you want from life & you're working very hard to get it. also, i think maybe moving out to a different city would actually help you find a decent job? honestly, living in new york sounds like a dream... (i've never been there but i'm dying to go visit one day). paris on the other hand? one of the most beautiful places on earth. if i were you & i had this opportunity to move there, i wouldn't even have to think twice! like i said before, sometimes you have to take that risk. no one says it's gonna be easy, but damn it might be worth it, you'll never find out if you don't try!

& ngl, your stories are actually very inspiring for me & i started thinking about my life and what i can do to change it & just... simply find my happiness. much to think about.

#i don't know #there is something very therapeutic in it #knowing that we are all struggling with something but we are not alone #& we should constantly inspire each other to do better #idk #does it even make any sense? it does in my head #daisy anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

[rinisbowen]

if you're not too busy, can you give your thoughts on season 4??? been missing your analyses!!

hey anon- i popped into this blog to post something completely unrelated, but seeing this ask i'll just do a semi-brief response to this: (news flash to the me who started this answer- this is no longer brief)

i haven't watched season 4. i've seen clips. i know the spoilers. i don't know that i will actually be watching it, sad as that is for me when there are certain things i wanted to watch develop properly... i might at some point, but it doesn't look to be something i necessarily want to actually properly watch start to finish...

before anyone comes at me for having strong opinions on a season i haven't watched top to bottom- don't. i don't need to have seen every shot to have a very solid understanding. i've seen a lot via socials... i "know what i'm talking about" to the extend i need to here. people are going to have their own subjective opinions, myself included, whether they've seen every second or haven't.

i told my friend on the phone when it came out that after seeing everything it seems like season 4 is more like retcon: the musical: the series...

if anyone has anything Specific they'd like talked about, i'd probably be happy/willing to do so, but admittedly, i'm not super keen on enduring the disrespect that was done to the early two seasons of the series...

also similarly- if anyone wants my thoughts on specific aspects of an alternative season 4... like things i could've envisioned for it pre- like- us getting any content... whether it's end of season 3 compliant or even like- conceptually compliant... i'm down to perhaps talk about that kind of stuff? or a sort of five season thought process... since obviously ending the series in the middle of the school year... pretty odd... especially with how they were acting like oh no this is the End...

my thoughts on this show are largely based in my understanding of the series format and arcs based in season 1 and season 2... season 2 is a very grounded season for all it tries to accomplish with limited degrees of success... i know people dislike it for various reasons, i think i actually like it for some of the reasons some people dislike it. and conversely a lot of people like season 3 for the reasons i dislike it. (and i'm not talking ships here folks- i'm talking stories and i'm talking style)

also for all i'm saying here- and this is definitely not to the degree of a traditional analysis post i would make... i would be willing to get into certain things if i am asked about them specifically.

before anyone comes here to scream at me- the thing i dislike about the season was the way it was done- not certain things being done in general. also i think it's a bit sad that they didn't think the story they were telling in season 4 couldn't stand on its own legs and needed all the associated retcon to make sense... there were ways to pull off a lot of what they wanted to accomplish- while still respecting the series and its roots

i think the conclusion i've come to in large part is that season 4 is not the same show as season 1. this is in a lot of ways, and for a lot of reasons. some out of the writers control. some just- due to changes in climate and in process. i know there's been more effort in the latter two seasons to listen to actors more with what they want, which changes things too. this can be a good thing in some cases and less so in others i tend to think (and this is an opinion i hold beyond this show)... i think there's been some disrespect done to different characters in different ways. i think characters have been somewhat reshaped to fit the narrative the show now wants to follow rather writing a narrative which fits the original characters. (and yes this can be done while having character growth/progression.)

---

one thing i'm very happy with, to end this post on a positive note: kourtney and her story. from all i've seen- she was handled very, very well this season, and it's wonderful to see how far this girl has come. she was only supposed to be a one episode character in season 1 initially before dara auditioned and changed the game, and i think that shows in kourtney's lack of initial depth that first season. she's gotten so much more to do, and i think dara's talents being showcased in the latter two seasons even more has been a wonderful thing. i'm thrilled- and i also love that kourtney got a very solid college arc, i think that was important to do with at least one of the characters, and i'm pleased it was her. she deserves it.

#hsmtmts discourse #hsmtmts s4 #answered #admin #//i want you to block me if you have the urge to comment something rude on this post. it's unnecessary. same for “uh actually” comments #//i'm probably not gonna be on this blog super frequently still- i said i was gonna work on my aus and i tbh have not had the motivation... #//but i still do not need rude commentary and i Am trying to be tactful #//even if i won't see it right away

[dragonballwish]

Sorry I wasn't trying to be hurtful, i'm kind of new to this series and mostly know it from memes and stuff I see online and Krillin is usually presented as a joke character. Like people say even his wife doesn't even like him (though I think the overrepresentation of her cheating on him is super weird) so I was just wondering why some people seem to see it so differently.

First— WELCOME TO DRAGON BALL !!!!!!!

<3 I’m happy to answer anything you’re curious about haha even if it’s insensitive or potentially drama-inducing, and sorry I thought you low key just didn’t like krillin sjjdjff I’ll defend him until I die

Anyways!!

I can guarantee anyone who talks like that is either projecting, haven’t seen the entire show (a LOT of db fans haven’t even seen the whole first half (og db)), or both.

18 LOVES Krillin, first of all. Everyone just thinks she’s hot (she is) and thinks krillin isn’t (they’re wrong he’s so scrimbly <333) and so they’d rather have her cuck krillin with master roshi than to be her true canon self in their relationship- which is actually the most wholesome ship in the canon series!! Like Fr !!!! They are the perfect couple in every way !!!! And they love each other !!! And krillin is not happy being cucked !!!!!!!! And 18 would NEVER !!!!!!!

Krillin being presented as a joke character technically isn’t wrong— Toriyama is pretty much first and foremost a gag-manga creator and so every character has really goofy traits. A lot of haters or just kinda db-fights-only stans tend to hyper focus only on the fights and serious traits— which is why a lot of people who haven’t really gotten into db only really know Goku as a fighting guy when he’s actually a goofball ?

Also like. Krillin doesn’t have a nose I feel like that makes people go ???? But it’s literally just a gag Toriyama made him win fights with lack of sense of smell—

Krillin gets the opposite representation obvi— a lot of people don’t really see him as that strong (which is wrong) and since he’s not as strong as goku and vegeta and other non-human characters, he tends to be sidelined while also still getting opportunity for commentary. Sometimes it’s that krillin is there to fight as first line of defense before goku comes and demolishes an opponent, or other variations of whatever, sometimes it’s that krillin is part of the main plot line but the final villain of the arc is defeated by— yep. Goku. Not that I’m complaining haha

I think because a lot of people haven’t seen krillin as a kid and haven’t experienced just how much growth he’s had from little bastard teen to a guy that is just so thankful to be alive and wants to protect those around him, they tend to oversimplify him to the traits that are shown in Z which is pretty solid in sidelining all the characters that were given way more spotlight in og db. I’m rambling so much oh god

Ignoring all that growth tends to only show traits that are surface-level in my opinion ? Like if you saw krillin hesitating to put his life on the line in Namek saga and thought “a coward?” It’s more along the lines of “this is my last chance at life and oh my god I’m the last line of defense for five year old gohan (my best friend’s toddler son) and bulma (one of my first friends)”. That kinda thing. That was just me saying stuff but literally connotation for all the characters changes when you’ve seen them from the beginning and it also adds kinda a connection with them like I watched this guy from adolescence I love him like my own son. (Low key that’s a lot of gohan stans I am convinced but you didn’t hear it from me)

For a show about aliens, krillin is definitely the most relatable and most human (even without the nose).

Anyways. If you haven’t already,, go watch og db and experience !!! Or read the manga (which cuts out a lot of filler. All of filler. The fights also feel better paced. And the paneling is iconic Fr) and just bask in the glory that is bastard og characters !! Every character feels so different when you see them from the beginning and understand their growth. Almost every sidelined character in Z was once the biggest opponent Goku had ever faced LOL

Anyways this got long sorry for rambling

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #wishpost #wishnonymous #wishanswers #krillin #kid krillin #goku #wishrambles #k18

[dorianepin]

crazy to think that oscar has literally been a rookie for the past 4 years like the last time he was a returning driver to a series was with mfing r-ace. been thinking about how next year is going to become a real yardstick in measuring his growth potential which is honestly just wild because it's been so long since we've seen him actually grow season-to-season within the same team structure & competitive environment......... yes prema f3 to prema f2 is about as consistent as you can get and there are so many more variables in f1 but even so i feel like much of the discussion around him these days is strictly >"well the race pace is a measure of tyre management and track familiarity and nothing more!" but then it's also a question of quantitatively how much of the pace deficit will be annulled through accruing this experience and how much is just the gap in raw race speed beyond predictive measures... and of course when compared against (ARGUABLY) a top-3 driver on the grid i don't even expect this to be observable after simply one year but i guess what's interesting is that he's often been regarded as a "complete package" who attains success through well-rounded race management and i'm like... well that is good in that there is less mental coaching required for him but also limiting in that he's already closer to his maximum potential than someone rougher around the edges might be.

ngl it kills me how pirelli's tyres blowing up in qatar indirectly gave him the best pr ever by leveling the field off so much deg-wise lol... and then that inversely made people way more critical of his performance in austin when i think it was actually a really good weekend by rookie-dnf standards because 1) he was managing to finetune his weaknesses session-by-session despite the physical challenges of the track surfacing and sprint formatting constraints and then 2) he still held on pretty well after the oco contact in the main race.......... the one thing i'll say about op's racecraft is that imo he's been showing some really solid defense lately and he is usually in the right when it comes to racing inchidents it's just a matter of developing awareness of when it's best to engage in this stubbornness and knowing who is most prone to going bowling on the grid lol. lando is so keenly avoidant and purposeful/conservative in his overtakes (mxc red flag restart great example) but this too is something i think will come with time. (in this case specifically because i think oscar is mentally smart and shrewd enough to pick up on the same awareness)

only 3(.5) races left......... i continuously am just so ??? at the fan rating binary because i really do believe that even "bad" weekends like austin have their own personal highs and then the "good" weekends like suzuka need to be equally contextualized but i suppose that is not as fun as (waves vaguely at reddit wank). i just want [] total points and 4 p[] in championship and i will be happy <3 fun that oscar pretty much has p9 locked down at this point... wish the gap were closer to 63 but it's also already mildly embarrassing for him that he's all the way down in p8 lol this year's been rough for him huh.

[lightsinthesky]

“I run the marathons ‘til the very last mile” - Beastie Boys, Intergalactic

On the cusp of six months of sobriety, I am really starting to internalize some things about my ability to endure and, with time, overcome. While I’ve been relatively patient in many aspects of my life to this point, I’m cultivating an all new meaning of the word as it pertains to specific elements about my life as a whole, my goals, my desires, my wishes, my hopes, my dreams… really, all of it.

One of the common themes in these writings is how little I know. And while that can certainly come across as some sense of projected humility or a cop-out with regard to achieving goals, I don’t mean it in either sense. When I say “I don’t know,” it’s specific to a few things. 1. Outcomes. It’s impossible to know any outcome. There are likely and unlikely scenarios, but, at this point, I recognize that truly anything can happen. 2. I’m still learning. And I always will. I’m a “forever student.” There’s no point at which we “get this” and just live free of distress. It’s always in a flux and we have to try our best with what we have to influence that in a positive way. 3. The possibilities are endless. If ten years ago you had told me that this is where I would be and that this is what I would be doing at 33 years old, I’d have called you insane for a number of reasons. The truth is that my life has been wholly unexpected. For better and for worse, but there has been so much experience in all of it. My adaptability has served as a blessing and a curse as I constantly sought change and new beginnings and blah blah blah.

So, today, the only day that truly matters, I am doing… solid. Alright? Fine? Good? I don’t like characterizing the wide array of emotions and thoughts we all experience into a singular adjective. Especially when it can change minute by minute. 

My timeline has been something like this: gift of desperation > willingness > fierce determination > work, work, work > change > stability > more work > more change > emotional discomfort > more growth > continued work. That’s a gross oversimplification. It’s a scribbled line trending forward, but it’s not linear in any sense. Where I am versus where I was is wildly different. Knowing this intellectually provides me with the reinforcement of evidence that it works and I have to keep going. And so I will.

But the truth is very simple: this is a marathon, not a sprint. The finish line is six feet under. We keep doing this until the (hopefully not so) bitter end. And getting caught up thinking along those lines is a death sentence, emotionally speaking. The importance of “one day at a time” is that we can better wield our influence in increments that are manageable. Trying to change the world overnight is impossible. But small steps towards larger goals makes them more likely to come true. 

These are principles, philosophies, and behaviors that exist outside of recovery. Pretty much everyone has awareness of all of this. But actually putting it all into practice can be difficult. We get so lost in the clutter. Pain experienced lies to you that it’s forever. That you’re doomed. Joy and happiness can be taken for granted in the moment. Being bored can create frustration and discontentment. It’s hard to simply exist in some zen state 24/7.

But it brings me back to my constant, my source of strength: love, hope, and trust.

Yes, for me the spiritual element of this program is huge. It’s the cornerstone and what made it all click for me. But it’s ultimately boiled down to a very nebulous, yet sincere trust that everything is in its right place. Trying to determine the meaning and purpose behind all of that is a pointless exercise in existentialism. It’s a presumption that “neat and tidy” is the right order. We all know life, society, and our species do not act in accordance with that. At all.

But our experiences are all relative. And I can’t stress enough how much responsibility to do good I feel that we all have. It doesn’t have to be major, grand gestures. We don’t have to manifest world peace in a day. But helping those in your vicinity is sufficient. While we can get so wrapped up in insecurities and our differences, we are biologically pretty much identical. It’s a fact. So even when we act completely opposite, the fact remains that we are in this together in some sense.

So, back to this whole thing being a marathon, not a sprint… time takes time. It’s annoying as all hell, but it is what it is. I am powerless against its flow. So, sometimes the only option forward is to simply endure. Applying the rest of what I’ve learned to that fact helps to manifest that critical hope and trust that it’s A. all worth it and B. will be OK in the end.

Characterizing all of these emotions and experiences is a bitch. Sometimes, the overwhelming nature of whatever I’m feeling can make it seem as though no progress has been made or that I’m regressing or whatever. But taken and observed from a higher level, removed from the incessant overthinking of my mind and over-feeling of my heart, the persistence in growth is way more obvious. Self-awareness goes a long way. It’s the first critical step towards being able to effectively characterize experiences, identify trends and patterns of behavior and thought, and implementing effective measures to alleviate any discomfort.

And the facts for me? I did it and I’m doing it. All of those old patterns of behavior have effectively been removed. They are lingering impulses that I no longer wish to act upon. Have I done all of this perfectly? Fuck no. But I persist and grow stronger with each experience. It’s all become normalized. And the discomfort of shutting down an impulse is overridden with the sense of virtuous confidence in doing the right thing. Knowing that old behaviors and actions in the name of seeking relief aren’t going to solve a damn thing. I am fully in a place of craving authenticity and authenticity alone.

I wish I were better at being able to distill all of this. It’s not that every single day is some profound step towards enlightenment. The whole thing is a process that lasts a lifetime. But the fact that I’ve grown so damn much in such a short span is pretty wild. There is discomfort even in that. It’s like a warped grieving of the me who lived in pain. Like, I’m glad to see him go, but I feel so much compassion and sadness for all he had to endure to get here, only to be let go.

Simplifying life sounds great. We all more or less strive for it. We want things to be “easy.” But our nature prevents that. And the more thoughtful, curious, and ambitious you are, the worse it all is. 

I’m at the point in the race where I know I’m about to get that runner’s high to carry me forward with greater ease. The heavy lifting has been done for the most part and now it’s about maintenance and a slow, steady progression.

The novelty of all of it hasn’t worn off, so it’s sometimes very unexpected and surprising to recognize it all for what it is. I’m looking forward to the day when these writings become less inward and more outwardly observational. I could really use a break.

But as I say with all of these, onward I go. That’s my promise to myself. It’s the cliche, “I didn’t come this far just to make it this far” kind of sentiment. And I hold strong to that. I’ve already endured a litany of things that would historically have “taken me out.” And I’m fine. Uncomfortable at times, but capable beyond a reasonable doubt.

So through this wild ass journey through space and time, I’m gonna keep jogging/swimming/crawling/walking/whatever - just moving. Sometimes I’ll sprint, sometimes I’ll walk, sometimes I’ll lay down until someone brings me Gatorade. But it will all end at the same finish line. To victory we march…

Love and hope will never leave me… and in their strength, paired with my trust in all that will be, I am ready to continue.

#recovery #Youtube

[fox-trapped]

Shot and developed negatives for the first time in five years and I’m so happy :—) they are not good! And I need so much more practice but I love that I am learning and trying!

I used to work in photo all the time (like 6 solid years of practice) but I had a super misogynistic prof who really put me back in my shell and made me avoid film for 5 years. So this year I promised myself I would say fuck it, even if I get stuck with the same prof I’m just going to try again.

Which is massive growth for me! I am so happy with these poorly lit negatives ^_^

#anyways I love growing as a person!! #fox says #photo #photography #film photography #4x5 film #contemporary photography #black and white photography #4x5 #film negatives #art #art school #foxtrapped art #foxtrapped

[brooklynislandgirl]

11, 20 for the shipping meme

Something Just Like This || Accepting

how long does your muse have to know someone before they decide to ask them out?

I cannot really answer this question and do it justice because quite honestly? I do not think Beth has ever actually asked anyone out on a romantic date in all of her life.She was very sheltered in her upbringing, was given a nightmarish description about what sex and romance was about, and most of the time she's been given a 'proper' escort to many society and charity or political function though the Admiral or has attended these things with her brother. Adding to all of this is her inherent demisexuality and more importantly what is known as quoiromantic nature; she doesn't feel primary sexual attraction to really anyone, and only secondary attraction once she's established a deep emotional connection to the person. Her romantic attraction is wibbly-wobbly in the sense that for her, there are no real distinctions between romantic or platonic forms of love. Which one can understand can be awkward AF. There are several ships on this blog that have taken literal years to form, and I do mean real time, not story wise. Some have been very one-sided because while Beth might feel something, she will never really force herself onto someone else, if she even tells them at all. She also very firmly believes that if she ever uses the L word, then she's pretty much beginning a count down to when the other person will leave her. I think if the date was very upfront and platonic ~coffee with a friend, movie with a relative, some sort of event with a co-worker~ it's a lot easier for her not to get wound up in her deep-rooted insecurities and paranoia. She will more often than not insist on paying for whatever the date it, and likely her favourite things to do with someone else are dancing and surfing. Beth is very sweet, unquestionably loyal, and does her best to appear as bright, friendly, and soft as possible. She is exceptionally agreeable even if it ends up costing her time, energy, or mental/physical well-being. But it might take months or even years for her to realise she wants to date someone, and by then, the person ~if they were interested at all~ have moved on.

~*~

20. what would push you to drop a ship?

Oh geeze. I mean, I'd like to think I am pretty easy going as long as there's mutual respect happening between the other mun and myself. Notice, I say mun…because I don't mind writing toxic or questionable situations. Life happens, not every person you meet is a good one, at least for you, etc. But the bond between muns has to have solid foundations first and foremost before I will consider a ship much less attempt to write one out. Beth is a weird little bunny, after all. Things that could come up though is…

I. Writing nothing BUT nsfw material.

Look, like everyone else, naughty-times can be quite fun. Especially when you and your mutual have a good flow between them. But at the same time, if all I wanted to do was write 'smut', I could do fan-fiction and only have to worry about what makes me happy. I want slice of life! I want conflict and drama! I want serious moments and silly ones! She is a witch after all and in most verses, a nurse. There's life and death happening and she needs to be a part of it.

II. Using her to come at Riley.

Is Beth my gate-keeper for her technically canon sibling? Yes, yes she is. I have spent 8 years or so trying my best to flesh her out as a character, to give her a well-rounded back story, to make her the best character that I can. And in those years, I have been told by at least one person that "Your writing style and mine just aren't compatible" only for that same mun, a couple months down the line to find Riley and praise my writing, my character development and growth. All because he is a pretty man with a big….ego. And they were absolutely shocked when I pointed out that I. Am. The. Same. Mun. And the writing is the same except for the FC and the Pronouns. Now, I get it. Beth is an OC and a lot of people have had bad experiences with them. Not a lot of people want to write with one. Not a lot of people are interested in the amount of work I've put into her, want to ask questions, want to learn her as she and I are learning their interpretation of someone ELSE's OC…oops, I mean canon character. But that's no excuse to treat her like a joke just because her brother is more interesting, more…masculine…and more likely to crush every last feeling you or your muse ever had. Really, those are the two things I'm not willing to at least discuss.

#Mahalo!Jo <333 #She's Talking to Angels {Bethisms} #The Turtle Speaks|Mun Answered Asks