#I created them on Monday. it is now Thursday. that’s both such a short amount of time to have gotten this much done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladynestaarcheron · 3 years

Text

Fears All the Way Down - Chapter Six

ao3 - masterpost

Hey, babes! Here are our canon fixes for the week:

1. When Nesta was six, she met with a man who declared more or less immediately that she would forever be hopeless at playing an instrument or singing, but that she had a good ear for music. Bull.

2. Nesta is apparently so desperate for a friend that she gives the House life, but never really hangs out with the priestesses. Um. Okay? Sounds fake, but okay.

3. Both Gwyn and Emerie have never left their homes in Sangravah and Illyria, respectively, except for when the IC brings them to the library. Not exactly a fix, but something we will start to explore.

Enjoy!

---

Since Nesta's accomplished virtually nothing in her life, she expects her ideas of "new things" to try to be easy to come up with. But after an hour of brainstorming in bed that Thursday evening, she only has two things scribbled in the notebook Thalia gave her: Wear yellow and Learn to play the trumpet.

"Don't suppose you have a trumpet in here?" Nesta says to the House.

The House only pulls the curtains shut in answer.

"Bedtime," she agrees, shutting the notebook and placing it on her bedside table. "I think this one-per-day rule is a bit much, don't you? Especially considering these self-defense lessons. Do you think other girls will come?" Nesta doesn't always wait for an answer when talking to the House. It tends to interject as it pleases, generally by opening doors or magicking a cup of tea in front of her. "I think that Emerie girl would like to. From Illyria, I told you about her...oh, thank you," she adds, for the House has placed the novel Nesta started last night by her pillow. "Shall I read aloud, then?"

She does, until she falls asleep.

The next morning, she draws looks from the hood-less girls and slight double-takes from the veiled priestesses; no doubt courtesy of the bright yellow dress the House had pulled out of her wardrobe this morning. She ignores them, not stopping until she reaches Clotho's office. When she knocks, Thalia's voice calls for her to enter.

"Well!" Thalia says, smiling.

"I'm never wearing this color again. It washes me out." Ruins the detox and more regulated eating she's had this past month.

"I think you look lovely," she insists, and Clotho nods. "But that's certainly your prerogative. Is that the worst consequence?"

"Yes, yes," Nesta says impatiently, waving a hand. "It won't kill me to try new things. Lesson learned."

Thalia looks over at Clotho. Perhaps she can tell what the priestess looks like under her hood, or perhaps she talks to her mind-to-mind like Feyre and Rhysand do, but Nesta almost thinks they exchange a glance of some sort. Amused, perhaps?

"Can either of us help you with anything, Nesta?" Thalia asks pleasantly, and gestures for her to sit down.

"Maybe," Nesta says taking a seat. Her cheeks color slightly as she does; why is she bashful about this all of a sudden? Around Thalia and Clotho? "I...well, I've started some self-defense, you know."

"We know." They both did, had both asked her how it was going. "You're still enjoying it, aren't you?"

"I...I am-it's good for me." Enjoy is a strong word.

"You said it helps keep you focused," Thalia says. "Centered."

"Yes. It...makes me feel good." She doesn't normally struggle with her words so much, does she? Does she sound like an idiot to the two of them, or just to her own ears? No, Clotho and Thalia would never say that about her. Never even think it. It's only her who's like this, trapped in her own wretched mind, slave to something dark and horrible and become just as vile-

But no, that isn't true. It's not just her who feels that way. And that's why she's here.

"It makes me feel more in control," Nesta says finally. "Of my life and my body."

Thalia leans back, satisfied. Clotho doesn't move. Nesta wonders if they know, if they can guess at what just went on in her mind. Either way, they both wait for her to continue.

"And I thought," she says, pausing to draw breath, "that maybe some other girls might be interested. With...Cassian."

At this, Clotho does cock her head.

"We meet in the mornings. Not on Tuesdays and not over the weekend," she adds, just so they aren't sitting in silence.

After a few moments that feel ridiculously long, Thalia says, "I think that's a wonderful idea, Nesta."

For a brief, strange moment, something happens. Nesta breathes in as Thalia finishes her sentence-not in relief or any emotion in particular, just to breathe-and as she does so, something inside of her shifts. Un-constricts.

But it's gone just as soon as it arrives, and before Nesta has time to dwell upon it, one of Clotho's notes appears. For a select group of girls, perhaps.

"Yes, I think we have the same few in mind...Of course, Nesta, you're welcome to share this with all of the students, but just between Clotho and myself, I think we'll privately encourage four or five...yes, thank you for bringing this up to us, Nesta," Thalia says, finishing with another warm smile.

Don't go just yet, Nesta, please, Clotho writes as Thalia takes her leave. I wanted to ask you how you were doing.

"I'm well. Thank you."

I'm glad to hear these self-defense lessons have something to do with that...our own lectures and exercises too, I hope?

Nesta raises her head slightly as her cheeks tinge pink. "I-yes. I think so." Clotho waits, unmoving, until Nesta sighs and says, "I do like the lectures."

Wonderful. Which ones?

Nesta answers honestly, "All of them." It's...it's quite something, to learn things. Things she never knew, never imagined, from females who are so passionate about them. "And...I like the jewelery. I like working with my hands."

I'm so very happy to hear you're finding yourself here, Nesta, Clotho's pen writes out. Have you given any thought to a more permanent assignment?

"I...thought you were supposed to."

With your input, of course. We would never want you to do something you were uncomfortable with.

But Gwyn's not comfortable with Merrill, is she? "I don't know. There's not really anything wrong with any of the priestesses, I suppose." It's only when Clotho begins lightly shaking with amusement that Nesta realizes she probably shouldn't have said that. "That is...I like them." She does. Enough.

Well, I'm happy to hear that, too.

Nesta rises, rather abrupt. "I've got to sort books," she says, and doesn't wait for a proper goodbye before leaving.

---

The amount Nesta has improved after only a few short weeks of being in the library floors Cassian. Her weight gain, voluntarily asking him for self-defense lessons, her performance in said lessons, and she still manages to find time to ask if other girls can join. Not even touching upon the fact that she's said she doesn't feel so dependent on alcohol anymore.

It shows incredible strength of character, and it makes Cassian's heart swell so much that he almost doesn't care when he meets an unfamiliar, tipsy young male he realizes must be one of the rebels in Windhaven, glaring at him.

Almost.

"What are you doing outside of your camp, boy?" Boy, he says, because he is one. He's not yet participated in the Rite.

"Visiting family," the boy slurs. "Sir," he adds, mocking.

"Go home," he orders, trying to imitate Nesta when she's at her coldest.

Perhaps it works, because the boy blanches before sneering and turning away.

He has to tell Rhys they're getting more brazen. Normally Cassian wouldn't care at all what any of them say to him-or at least, say he doesn't care-but if these pricks are bringing Nesta into it, all bets are off. He's going to follow up on whoever that was and make sure he doesn't come back to this camp until this situation is under control. Until the threat on the throne, on Nesta's life, is vanquished.

Shaking himself, he pushes into Emerie's shop. "Good morning."

She looks up. "You're back. Hello," she adds.

He gives her a smile. "Who was that?"

Emerie does not return his expression. "My baby cousin, Bellius," she says, bitter. "But never mind him." Just like that, Emerie phases out of her ire and into a cool, detached expression. Just like Nesta, he thinks. Perhaps that was why they liked each other-if they liked each other. "What can I help you with?"

"Perhaps you can help me," he says. "Nesta-Lady Nesta-you met here a few weeks ago?"

"Yes," she says, careful. "I remember."

"Well," he says, unsure of how to introduce the subject. "She's...started taking some self-defense lessons. For exercise. With me."

Emerie looks unconvinced. "For exercise?"

"And she thought you might be interested in joining. And that you have some friends who might be interested, too."

Emerie's face doesn't betray anything. She studies him, and it's been about ten seconds before she says, "Did she?"

"Yes," he says, feeling only slightly like perhaps the two of them training together might not be good for him.

"Hm," she says. After another minute of her own quiet deliberation, she says, slowly, "I will attend one of these lessons...and then I will...consult with my friends."

"All right," Cassian says, thankful that it's over. "Someone will be along to pick you up Monday morning."

He doesn't dawdle too long in saying goodbye. He has a lot to cover before Monday-figure out the best way to introduce self-defense to very traumatized, potentially, females, and now he'll have Emerie, and Nesta. What kind of dynamic will that create?

But he's been a soldier his whole life. Surely he can handle a few young females.

Hopefully.

---

Nesta has taken to carrying around her notebook wherever she goes, just in case she gets an idea of some new thing she can try. A girl named Deridre approaches her and asks her what self-defense is like, and if it's at all like the meditative yoga they do with the priestess Agata, so she writes that down. She goes to one of Daphne's lectures for the first time and learns about resuscitation and scrawls the name of a method to stop choking that seems simple enough to learn. Gwyn sees her writing and says, "You know, your finger nails are shaped so nicely. How come you never paint them?" so she adds that to her list, too.

She finds, actually, that it's quite nice to carry the book around. It's nice to have an excuse to write with such a fine pen. It's been years since she has.

Her sisters visit her over the weekend at her invitation and they are thrilled by her new things.

"I could teach you to paint," Feyre suggests.

Nesta wants to reply that the idea is to attempt things that do not make her want to pitch herself off the veranda, but instead she says, "You already tried that."

"Right," she says, deflating.

"But," she says, oddly disturbed by this response, and grasping for something to say, "maybe we can...sculpt. Or something. One day."

Feyre brightens at this. "Whenever you have time," she says, happily.

"How's self-defense going, Nesta?" Elain asks, would-be casual.

Nesta rolls her eyes. "You've heard we're inviting other girls?"

"Oh, Nesta, I just think it's such a grand idea-"

"Everyone's really excited about it, honestly, they've been trying for something like this for so long-"

"And with the Illyrian girls, Cassian said-"

"We know it's not exactly a unit, but still so impressive-"

"And we hear you're doing really well!"

"Yes! Really well! Maybe I could join you one day, too," Feyre says, hopeful.

"I'd watch. Or, or maybe even try some!"

Nesta takes a sip of water. She forgets how much noise these two make, honestly. "I don't think it's as exciting as you've imagined," she says. "Sure, you can come one day. Maybe not while the other girls...I'm a bit nervous," she confesses, suddenly. "Clotho and Thalia wouldn't let if they thought it was a bad idea, but I don't know..." She looks out onto the rainy city. The House keeps the interior warm for her, but sometimes she thinks she can still feel the cold in her bones anyway. "I mean, I'm the only one who ever leaves the library, and it could go really wrong. Obviously, no one's going to force herself to do this, and they can just no, but-uh," she finishes on a stammer, as she turns back to look at her sisters.

For there are shining silver tears in Elain's eyes, and Feyre's face looks cracked.

What has she said? What horrible thing has she done?

"No, no," Feyre says hurriedly, reading her expression.

"Sorry, Nesta," Elain says, bringing her hands to wipe her eyes. "It's just...it's just so nice to see you like this...about something."

"Oh," Nesta says, eventually.

Her sisters leave in the evening, but the likeness of their faces in her mind do not. Their expressions, their...love.

Is she really so different now, she wonders all weekend. Is she so much better? She doesn't feel particularly much of anything.

If this is better, then what had she been before?

Monday morning rolls around quickly, and she is decked in the uniform the House has supplied her and finished with a light breakfast, waiting at the arena on the roof before the sun has even fully risen.

"Nervous too?" Cassian says from behind her as he neatly lands in.

"I suppose," she says, not turning around.

"How long have you been here?"

"Fifteen minutes."

He chuckles. "Maybe more nervous than I am. Well...shall we begin?"

"No one's here yet."

"So? We can start just the two of us." He shrugs out of his jacket. "Would put us at ease, at least, don't you think?"

Us, he says. Like they are the same. They get nervous by the same things and the same things calm them down and they do it all together.

"Yes," she says, clearly needing it.

The movements come easier than on Thursday. Each time she gets better, and it is, she will admit, a rare sort of feeling. To know that she is improving at something. To feel it in her blood and bones.

Cassian's instructions leave no room for worrying in her mind. When she slips out of his holds, breaks out of his grip, all she can think of are his body and hers, anticipation of his next move and victory when she gets it right, or disgruntlement when she is wrong. They move through the steps in sync, almost like the ballet she used to study, and she is so consumed with it that she does not notice until they are done that they have an audience.

Not a particularly big one. Gwyn, Deirdre, and Azriel has brought Emerie, but an audience nonetheless.

"All right," Cassian says. "So what Nesta and I just did is called the Grunge Hook." He launches through into an explanation of what it means and Nesta blinks as she realizes he must have known they all had arrived. Seen them, heard them.

Her cheeks go cold. She can never notice anything else when he's there. Certainly not as they were; touching, talking...

"So Emerie and Nesta, and, ah, Miss..."

"Gwyn," Gwyn says at the same time Deirdre says, "Deirdre."

"Right," Cassian says. "Well, you two pair up."

Emerie walks over to Nesta and they are ready faster than the other two. Nesta tenses. They have not yet been outside-perhaps this was a mistake-what will Gwyn think of her now? She won't sit next to her for lectures anymore, won't come help her put books away-

But it is only a moment, and then Gwyn turns to Cassian and says, "I guess we should have dressed differently."

"You can wear whatever you're comfortable with," he says. "And you don't have to do anything you don't want to, either."

So Deirdre keeps her hood secured on, but Gwyn shrugs her robe off entirely to reveal simple, like-colored dress. Perhaps she'd like leggings and a skirt like Nesta's, she thinks. If she decides to continue...if other girls decide to join...

Emerie's, surprisingly, not as good at the movements as Nesta is. Surprisingly because Nesta doesn't really think of herself as good at this, just better than before, and because, well, Emerie's Illyrian, and all the Illyrians Nesta knows...

"It's your wings," Azriel says, approaching. "They throw you off balance."

She droops. "So I can't. Because I'm clipped."

Nesta flinches-it's such an ugly word. But what to say?

Azriel answers before she can, his shadows clearing from his face. "Of course not," he says, patient. "Just hold yourself this way," and he shows her how to maneuver her wings.

Emerie seems as though her emotions sway easier than Nesta's, as she appears cheered up by this. "Let's try again," she says to Nesta.

And they do, but it is not like before, with Cassian. It is not as in sync, and she is not as focused. Over on the other side, under Cassian's watch, Gwyn and Deirdre are doing even worse.

When the hour is done, Deirdre hurries back down faster than she has moved throughout the whole lesson, and Gwyn shoots Nesta a small smile, and nods her head once at Azriel, before saying, "Good to see you again," and leaving. Emerie says, "Thanks for thinking of me," and perhaps sounds a bit more genuine, but she turns to ask Azriel to take her back right after, and then she is gone too.

"Brilliant," Nesta says aloud, miserable.

Cassian looks over at her, surprised. "What?"

"Are you kidding me? That was horrible."

Cassian laughs. "Are you kidding me? That was great!"

"Enough," she snaps, skin burning. "I don't need-"

"Woah," he says, raising his hands. "Woah. Seriously, Nesta, what's wrong?"

She clenches her hands into fists. "Stop mocking me."

"I'm not!" he protests, and his stupid eyes are wide and innocent and his stupid voice is confused and concerned when he says, "Come on, why are you upset?" so she has no choice but to answer.

"They hated it and they were bad."

Cassian laughs again. A real laugh this time, with his head tilting back, and the sound echoing in the mountains. Her heart lurches. She ignores it.

"They did not hate it," he says, eyes twinkling. "And they were not bad. They're novices. Not everyone's a born natural like you, with a perfectly paired partner in me," he teases, winking, almost as though good-natured.

"They couldn't get away fast enough." Deirdre didn't even take off her hood. So much for helping other females.

Cassian's grin falters. Shit. Had she said that out loud?

He moves closer to her. "Do you know how many clipped Illyrian females have agreed to come to anything remotely similar to this?"

"You know I don't," she snaps, but he doesn't rise to her bait.

"None," he says, calm. "Emerie is the first. Do you know how long Deirdre's been in here?"

"No," she says. Longer than Gwyn, but not more than that.

"Since before Amarantha took over."

Nesta winces. Over fifty years, at least, then.

"And she came...you convinced her to come."

"I didn't," she says. "Thalia-"

"She told me," he interrupts. "She told me you told her what it was like and she wanted to try it."

Nesta stills at this. "Well...what does it matter if she just tries it once?"

He laughs-again! Why does he laugh so often? "Aren't you doing that? Trying things once? Oh, no, I don't mean it in a bad way, Nes, don't look like that. I'm just saying...okay. So it's not for everyone. Maybe she tries it once and never does it again. But it's still worth a whole fucking lot that she tried. And that's because of you. And how do you know she's not going to try again, anyway? Because she left when the hour was up?"

Nesta reddens slightly.

"Fuck," he says, and this time it doesn't amuse her, his easy swearing. "I-shit. Nesta. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings."

She startles. "I-what?"

"I just mean..." He runs his fingers through his hair. "Look. You did a good thing. Whether or not they continue, you did a good thing. And I think they will, for the record. Emerie might not want to come every day, you know, she might not have time...but I think Gwyn liked it enough."

Nesta feels something inside of her flutter. "She did?"

Cassian nods. "Definitely." He looks at her for another moment, then shakes his head.

"What?" she asks, dreading the answer.

"Nothing," he says. "I just don't understand how you can't possibly be so proud of yourself. Especially today." He shrugs slightly, completely oblivious to what is happening inside of her. That feeling from Clotho's office. What is that?

But it is gone as soon as it arrives, just like last time. He says, "See you tomorrow, Nesta," and leaves. And then she does too.

---

Cassian, Nesta learns over the course of the next few weeks, is right.

Not about her, obviously. But about the females still being interested.

Gwyn's excited about it. "I didn't realize you were so good," she gushes.

Nesta huffs in amusement. "Hardly."

"Well, better than the rest of us!"

"Just a bit more practice," she says. And there is something about the lessons with Cassian...though they don't do as much together, though, anymore. Not with the others there now. She almost wishes that she had not invited everyone for each of the lessons...maybe one morning with him just to herself.

But that's-that's just absurd. He's hardly hers.

Deirdre finds her that Monday, too, and thanks her for convincing her to go. Nesta privately wonders what on earth it was she had said that worked, because the conversation barely stands out in her mind, but she tells Deirdre she's glad to hear she enjoyed it, anyway.

"I think Roslin and Ananke would like it too," she says. "Thalia told them it would be good for them, but they were too nervous. I'll try and convince them...I didn't realize how much fun it would be," she adds with a gentle laugh.

Fun?

"Oh," Nesta says. "Oh...well, good. I mean, good to hear. I hope they...join too."

And Cassian is right about Emerie as well. She does not come on Tuesday, but she does on Wednesday, and tells Nesta she thinks she can keep coming twice a week.

"And your friends?" she asks.

"They're interested," she tells her. "But I think I have to work a little harder at convincing them."

Nesta nods, not wanting to ask what they might have stopping them from coming. Whatever happened to Emerie's wings-whoever had clipped her-perhaps those females have someone like that in their lives.

It is on the second Wednesday that Emerie arrives that Nesta asks her if she'd like to stay a while longer. She'd already asked Azriel the day before if he could possibly take her back after lunch, and he'd agreed.

There was something odd about talking to Azriel, she noticed. Something about those shadows. Something about the way they-looked?-at her. Something...

But Emerie agrees, if a bit shyly, and she asks Gwyn if she'd like to take lunch with the two of them instead of in the priestesses' dining hall, and Nesta has her new thing for the day: hosting people for a meal.

They ogle everything openly, jaws dropping as the House pulls out chairs for them and food appears as Nesta requests it.

"Thank you," she says.

"You're...talking to the House?" Gwyn asks.

"Yes."

"Oh. Thank you," she adds.

"Thank you," Emerie says quickly.

The House likes them too. Nesta can tell. There's a bit more effort being made here today, she thinks, as she notes a fancy bouquet in the middle of the table and finer china than she normally uses. Nesta smiles to herself.

Nesta searches for something she can say, a safe topic that has nothing to do with self-defense, but Gwyn beats her to it. "So, how do you two know each other?" she asks.

"Nesta came to Illyria to scare some rebels who are trying to kill her," Emerie answers casually.

Gwyn jerks her head towards Nesta. "Really?"

"Not quite how I would have phrased it," Nesta says. "But true enough, I suppose."

"Why are they trying to kill you?" Gwyn says, eyes wide.

Wonderful. What a fantastic luncheon this is.

"They don't like me very much."

"They're scared of her," Emerie says. "And they want to overthrow the High Lord and High Lady." She turns to Nesta. "What do you think of that?"

Nesta raises an eyebrow as she cuts into her food. "Of killing my sister and Rhysand? Well, I've certainly thought of it myself, at times."

They both laugh. Nesta blinks. Then she smiles slightly.

"I have to assume I'm against them," she says. "But to be honest, I don't really understand any of the politics here. I'm...not very well-informed."

"Oh, neither am I," Gwyn says, shaking her head. "It's terrible. I mean, I've lived in this court all my life, and I'm so pitifully ignorant. It's ridiculous. I don't know the first thing about Illyria, like. Or even Velaris, really. And I have no excuse. I live in a library, for gods' sakes."

"I don't know of any books I'd recommend for you to learn about Illyria," Emerie says, thoughtful. "Not unless you read Illyrian, that is."

"See, I didn't even know there was an Illyrian until you just said that. Pathetic."

"Can you recommend other books?" Nesta says, latching on the chance to steer the conversation away from the history of the Night Court and into perhaps the only topic she might be able to contribute to.

"Oh, of course," Emerie says, pausing to swallow. "What do you like?"

"Romance," Nesta says, as Gwyn says, "Adventure."

"Ooh, The Knight Society. That's both. You can read that together."

Gwyn grins at Nesta. "Book club," she says. "What's it about?"

Emerie launches into a description of the book-the series, actually-and eventually, Nesta finds herself not looking for things to say, but rather just...talking. Not forced. Not desperate. Just a part of the conversation. Easy, flowing...fun, almost.

Funny, at least. Emerie is clutching her sides laughing as she describes the worst romance novel she ever read and Gwyn giggles, her hands covering her mouth, but Nesta says thoughtfully, "That's not such a horrible idea, though."

"You think-"

"No, no, the premise is atrocious, yes," she says. "But that exact scene...that has potential."

"Potential, right," Emerie says, laughing still.

"No, I mean it," she says, but she lets it go, lets the conversation drift naturally.

She is disappointed when Azriel comes to take Emerie back, but picked up by the fact that they all are. Emerie promises to make time to stay for lunch again, either Monday or Wednesday of next week.

"This was so lovely," Gwyn says to her, wistful, as they walk down to the library together. "So much nicer than in the dining hall.

"Really?" Nesta says before she can stop herself. "Well...I eat lunch every day. You can join...if you'd like."

Gwyn brightens. "I would!"

So after two weeks of lessons with other girls (Roslin and Ananke have joined, and Lorelei and Ilana, too, though the later doesn't participate so much as watch), and more random assignments from Clotho, and new things for Thalia, Nesta finally finds herself with a few hours of quiet after Friday evening's lecture has been canceled.

"Shall we read?" she says to the House.

Lights flicker in answer. Too many for the usual yes or no. This means Nesta has to follow.

"All right," she says, standing. "To the veranda?" she asks. But it's too cold out, so she hopes not.

Instead, the House leads her to a room she hasn't been in since her first stay, upon first exploration. She has had no need.

"Oh," she says at the door, softly.

The knob turns slightly, not fully opening. The House giving her the final decision.

But she doesn't want to hurt its feelings, so she opens the door.

The music room-a conservatory, it can be called-just by the sheer size of it-is grander than she remembers. She had opened the door and not even stepped inside, that first time. Just stood there, frozen, before snapping the door shut and hurrying away.

She takes a slow step in, but almost as though she is being walked by some other being, she takes another, and then another, and before she knows it, she is seated at the piano.

Ballroom grand. Enormous. Sleek and glossy and it would sound just perfect, she knows.

Lights flicker from behind. She turns and lets out a little laugh.

"Thanks," she says, shaking her head at the spotlight, "but I don't think I'm going to be learning the trumpet this evening."

The lights stop, as if the House is acquiescing.

The lights above her now flicker briefly. So will you play the piano, then?

Nesta inhales and exhales deeply. Slowly. Again. And again. The same way Cassian has her do after lessons.

There's really...there's really nothing stopping her. There's no reason not to. If she were to pick up her notebook and write down the reasons why she can't play right now, there wouldn't be any.

So why can't she do it?

She doesn't have an answer. So with another deep breath, Nesta closes her eyes and gently presses her thumb to middle C.

The sound is soft, and then that feeling, from with Thalia and Clotho, and Cassian, hits her again. But as she hits the second note, it does not fade away. It stays this time. So she plays.

#nessian #nessian fic #acosf fic #acotar fic #nesta archeron #whatever the hell am i supposed to tag this asssssss????????#anyway. i'm thrilled to be sharing this!!#cannot WAIT for next chapter also #because nesta had to go on a journey to get to her journey #because she was in such a bad place!!#but here she's like...she's been getting better but not good #and now she can start getting good you know??#so exciting #hope y'all enjoy<3 #oh and btw i don't about you but i'm turning 22 next friday when i post chapter seven #so in case you were looking for a sign to share what you think...this is it #😌#lol #but kind of for real

32 notes · View notes

lacquerware · 3 years

Text

2020 Recap - My Year in Gaming

2020. What a year for video games. I had big plans for last year, but in the end I did very little besides play video games, and I don’t think I’m alone there since we were all stuck at home looking for a way out of reality. I wanted to do a year-end recap as I’ve done sporadically in past years, but this one will be different than the typical “Games of the Year” format because despite all the games I played in 2020, almost none of them came out in 2020, and some of the things that defined my year in gaming weren't even games.

Resident Evil 3 Remake (PS4)

RE3 was one of the only games I played in 2020 that didn’t coincide with the deadly pandemic's spread across the US. RE3 is, of course, a game about the spread of a deadly virus in Anytown, USA. It was an appetizer, I guess.

When the Resident Evil 2 remake dropped in 2019, there were some things I loved about it, and a few things that felt like steps back from the original. I feel much the same about RE3. I had also theorized that a Resident Evil 3 remake would be better off as RE2 DLC than as a separate full-length game, and considering how short RE3 turned out, with some of the best sections of hte original cut entirely (namely, the clock tower), I stand by my theory.

Oh well, at least Jill gets this rad gun, which for the time being is the closest thing to a new Lost Planet we can hope for anytime soon.

Sekiro (PS4)

Sekiro is the first video game I ever Platinumed. This is partly because conquering the base game was such a spartan exercise that going the extra mile to get the Platinum didn’t seem so bad, but it’s also surely a result of the pandemic. I needed a project and a big win. Who didn't?

I wrote at length about why I like Sekiro more than every other modern FromSoft game, and also about the game’s cherry-on-top moment that reminded me of blowing up Hitler’s face in Bionic Commando. Please read them!

Death Stranding (PS4)

Release date notwithstanding, this was obviously the Game of 2020. I wrote about it here, here, and here. This game bears the distinction of being the second one I ever Platinumed. It took 150 hours. Only then did I learn I had a hoverboard.

Streets of Rage 4 (PS4)

This is the only 2020 game I played for more than a few hours. In fact, I cleared the entire game at least five times. I still don’t think it captures the gritty aesthetic of the prior Streets of Rages (nor even tries to), but this is probably the best-feeling bup I've played. Huge bonus points for finally bringing back Adam, but in the end I found it hard not to pick Blaze every time.

Blaster Master Zero 2 (Switch)

What impressed me about this sequel from Inti Creates was that it wasn’t just more of the same, even though that would've been fine. BMZ2 builds on its already excellent predecessor with a catchy new format where players can freely cruise the cosmos and stages take the varied form of planets—some big and sprawling, others short and sweet. Hopping at will from planet to planet without ever knowing what experiences and treasure each one held felt like system jumping in No Man’s Sky and island hopping in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, both of which felt like opening presents.

Dragon Force (Saturn)

Charming, satisfying, and addictive as a bag of chips. Unlike a bag of chips, when it’s over, you can do it all again. And again. And it’ll be different each time! This might be the first strategy game I've truly loved. Better late than never.

The PC Engine Mini

The PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 Mini seems a particularly justifiable mini-console for people outside Japan because so many missed these consoles entirely, the games are hard to obtain, and the lineup includes titles spanning the entire convoluted Turbo/PC Engine ecosystem—the TurboGrafx-CD/CD-ROM², Super CD-ROM², Arcade CD-ROM² and SuperGrafx, in addition to plain, old standard HuCard games. I myself didn’t know the first thing about these systems before. It’s like reliving the nineties again for the first time.

Most of the titles included are simple action games that don't require a command of Japanese, but make no mistake: being able to understand Snatcher and TokiMemo does make me feel like an elite special person worth more than many of you.

(Side note: From a gender representation perspective, the difference between Snatcher and Death Stranding is stark. Virtually every interaction with every woman or girl in Snatcher is decorated with ways to sexually harass her. Guess someone finally had a conversation with our favorite auteur.)

A Gaming PC

I’d threatened to transition to PC gaming for years after beholding the framerate difference between the console and PC versions of DmC in 2012, and last July I finally took the leap, buying an ASUS “Republic of Gamers” (ugh) laptop with an NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2070 Max-Q GPU. It seems like consoles are getting more PC-like all the time, especially with all these half-step iterations that splinter performance and sometimes even the feature set (à la the New 3DS and Switch Lite), so with the impending new generation seemed like a fine time to change course.

In the half-year since, I’ve barely played a single PC game more recent than 2013, but just replaying PS3-era games at high settings has been like rediscovering them for the first time.

I also finally experienced keyboard-and-mouse shooting and understand now why PC gamers think they're better than everyone else. Max Payne is a completely different game with a mouse. Are all shooters like this??

The USPS

Early in the year, I rediscovered my childhood game shop, Starland, which is now an online hub known as eStarland.com with a brick-and-mortar showroom. To my delight, it has become one of the best and most modestly priced sources for import Saturn games in the country, and I scored Shining Force III’s second and third episodes, long missing from my collection, for a mere ten bucks each!

In June, I treated myself to a trio of Saturn imports from eStarland: the tactics-meets-dating-sim mashup Sakura Taisen 2, the nicely presented RTS space opera Quo Vadis 2, and beloved gothic dungeon crawler Baroque. Miraculously, this haul amounted to just around thirty dollars total. Less miraculously, they never arrived. This was the second time I’d had something lost in the mail in my entire life, and also the second time that month. Something was wrong with the USPS, and it wasn’t just COVID pains. We would soon learn Trump had been actively working to sabotage one of the nation’s oldest and most reliable institutions in a plot to compromise the upcoming presidential election.

Frankly it’s a miracle there’s still such a thing as “delivery” at all, and a few missing video games is the last of my worries considering what caused it, but nevertheless this was an experience in my gaming life that could not have happened any other year. I won’t forget it.

*By the way, USPS reimbursed me for the insured value of the missing order, which was fifty bucks. So I actually profited a little off the experience.

Mega Everdrive Pro

I love collecting for the Genesis and Mega Drive, but I will not pay hundreds of dollars for a video game that retailed for about sixty. The publishers never asked for that, and the developers won’t see a (ragna)cent of the money. I'm also far less inclined to start collecting for Sega CD, since the hardware is notoriously breakable, the cases are huge and also breakable, and the library just isn't that good.

Still, I'd been increasingly curious about the add-on as an interesting piece of Sega history, so when I learned Ukranian mad scientist KRIKzz had released a new Mega Everdrive that doubled as a Sega CD FPGA, I finally took the plunge into the world of flash carts. This has proven a great way to play some of the Mega Drive’s big-ticket rarities I will never buy—namely shmups like Advanced Busterhawk Gley Lancer and Eliminate Down—as well as try out prospective additions to the collection. I never would have discovered the phenomenal marvel of engineering and synth composition that is Star Cruiser without this thing, but now that I have, it’s high on the shopping list.

The Mega Everdrive Pro is functionally nearly identical to TerraOnion’s “Mega SD” cartridge, but slightly less expensive, comes in a “normal” cartridge shell instead of the larger Virtua Racing-style one, and supports a single hardworking dude in Ukraine rather than a company with reportedly iffy customer service.

Twitch

Getting a PC also resolved issues that had long prevented me from achieving a real streaming setup, and much of my gaming life in 2020 was about ramping up my streaming efforts. I even made Affiliate in about a month. Streaming has been a great creative outlet and distraction, as well as a way to connect with other people during the COVID depression and structure my gaming time. Find me every Monday through Thursday 8-11pm Eastern at twitch.tv/lacquerware.

Metroid: Other M (Dolphin)

PC ownership also gave me access to the versatile Dolphin emulator, liberating a handful of great Wii exclusives from their disposable battery-powered prison.

One of the Wii games I fired up on Dolphin was Metroid: Other M, a game I’d always wanted to try but had been dissuaded by years of bad publicity and the fact that I never had any goddamn batteries. I know I should temper what I’m about to say by acknowledging that I was playing at 1080p/60fps on a PS4 controller so my experience was automatically a vast improvement over that of all Wii players, but I’m increasingly confident Metroid: Other M was the most fun I’ve ever had playing a Metroid game. I haven’t decided yet if I’m willing to die on this hill, but I will just say that if you like the Metroidvania genre in general and aren’t particularly attached to the Metroid series’ story or its habit of making you wander aimlessly for hours, there’s a very high chance you will enjoy Other M—especially if you play it on Dolphin.

Don't Starve Together (PC)

Don't Starve is the only game my friend Jason plays, so last year I tried to get into it with him. I respect this game's singular devotion to the concept of survival, but make no mistake: every session of Don't Starve ends with you starving to death. Or freezing. Or getting stomped by a giant deity of the forest. The entire game is staving off death until it inevitably comes. Even when death comes, you can revive infinitely (in whatever mode we were playing), which means even death is not an end goal. There is no end goal. You don't even have the leeway to "play" and create your own meaning as you do in similarly zen games like Dead Rising.

Don't Starve is a game for people for whom hard work is the ultimate reward in and of itself. Don't Starve told me something about Jason.

G-Darius (PS1)

In the early fall, Sony announced they were dropping PS3, PSP, and Vita support from the browser and mobile versions of their PSN Store, and since the PS3 version of the store app runs like a solar-powered parking meter in Seattle, I decided this was my last chance to stock up on Japanese PSN gems.

Among my final haul, the PS1 port of G-Darius proved an instant favorite. Take down the usual cast of mechanized fish in a vibrant, chunky, low-poly style that perfectly inhabits the constraints of the original PlayStation hardware. I believe this is the first Darius game that lets you get into giant beam duels with the bosses, which is quite definitely one of the coolest things a video game has ever let you do. The PS1 port is also surprisingly feature-rich, including some easier difficulty levels that present an actually surmountable challenge for non-savants.

This one’s coming to the upcoming Darius Cozmic Revelation collection on Switch alongside DARIUSBURST, a good-ass romp in its own right.

Red Entertainment

In my effort to shine a tiny spotlight on some of the unsung Interesting Games of gaming, I found myself drawn again and again to the work of Red Entertainment. First there were cavechild headbutt simulator Bonk’s Adventure and twin shmups Gates of Thunder and Lords of Thunder on the PC Engine Mini. Then I streamed full playthroughs of the PS2’s best samurai-era, off-brand 3D Castlevania, Blood Will Tell and the Trigun-adjacent stand-‘n-gun, Gungrave: Overdose. Then I was dazzled by Bonk’s Adventure’s futuristic spin-off cute-‘em-up, Air Zonk, which was also sneakily tucked away on my PC Engine Mini in the “TurboGrafx-16” section. It turned out all these games were made by the same miracle developer responsible for Bujingai, the stylish PS2 wushu game starring Gackt and a household name here at the Lacquerware estate. How prolific can one team be???

Month of Cyberpunk

In November, I started toying with the idea of themed months on my Twitch channel with “Cyberpunk month.” It was supposed to be a build-up to Cyberpunk 2077’s highly anticipated November release, but holy shit that didn’t happen, did it? Still, I always find myself gravitating toward this genre in November, I guess because I associate November with gloom (even though this year it was sunny almost every day). A month is a long time to adhere to a single theme, but cyberpunk is such a well-served niche in gaming that I could easily start an all-cyberpunk Twitch channel. The fact that we’re so spoiled with choice makes Cyberpunk 2077’s terrible launch all the more embarrassing. Here are just some of the games I played (and streamed!) in November:

Ghostrunner Shadowrun (Genesis) RUINER Remember Me Transistor Rise of the Dragon (Sega CD) Shadowrun (Mega CD) Cyber Doll (Saturn) Binary Domain Shadowrun Returns Blade Runner (PC) Deus Ex: Human Revolution Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Observer

Shadowrun on the Genesis gets my top pick, but the two most recent Deus Ex games are great alternatives for those looking for something in the vein of 2077 that isn’t infested with termites.

Lost Planet 2

Every year. I played through it twice in 2020.

Dead Rising 4

I slept on this one too long. While it's a far cry from the original game, it's easily the most fun I've had with a Christmas game since Christmas NiGHTS. This is the game a lot of people thought they were getting when they bought the original Dead Rising with their new Xbox 360--goofy, indulgent, and pressure-free.

Devil May Cry 5: Vergil (PS4)

Vergil dropped for last-gen consoles in December and breathed a whole lot of life into a game that was already at the head of its class.

Nioh 2

I’ve only played a few hours of Nioh 2 because I promised my friend I’d co-op it with him and wouldn’t play ahead. But he’s a grad student with two small children. Nevertheless, Nioh 2 is my Game of 2020.

And that's it! Guess I'll spend 2021 playing games that came out last year, and maybe eventually getting vaccinated? Please?

11 notes · View notes

dansnaturepictures · 3 years

Photo

05/04/2021- Hirundines and more along the Titchfield Canal path on Easter Monday

The weather had certainly changed a bit as I woke up to the final day of a brilliant Easter weekend, whilst the sun was no stranger as the day went on in the morning there was a lot of cloud around. It was colder when we got out for our walk at the Titchfield Canal path. This gave way for, in a year I have noticed, photographed and celebrated these more than ever so far anyway, some of the most spectacular and dramatic sky scenes and also very beautiful ones I have seen this year. It was breathtaking to take these scenes in both at home from my window, on the way and during our walk at the Titchfield Canal path.

When at this special location for us I took the first picture in this photoset of a white duck with some Mallards, quite interesting to see. We checked the Barn Owl tree a bird we were trying to see which we have seen here ever year since 2017 along this canal path and this is also the location we saw our first of these now one of my favourite birds in 2008 in a tree they frequent but this was to no avail today although a Stock Dove on the usual tree made a pleasant sight. I went on to take the second, third and fourth pictures in this photoset looking over the fields as the sun appeared for a little bit. We also checked for a bird in truth here and at Lymington-Keyhaven we have been looking for all weekend the Garganey that had been on Posbrook flood, but we couldn’t catch it today either. It was nice to see Gadwalls and Shovelers in good numbers there as well as more nice bronze Black-tailed Godwits and Little Egrets this weekend and when we got to the point you can turn off down the path going beside the flood it was nice to spot a Grey Heron’s head skulking in the long grass.

Before we got down to this bit I was thrilled to spot when looking over the flood from the main path a group of hurundines over the flood mostly Swallows first of all, then we made it three hurundine year ticks in three days when we made out the bluer features of a House Martin flying over which was great to see. Its always a good bird to see for the first time in a year and a very key part of spring for me. The Sand Martins and Swallows arrive a bit earlier and my sightings in a year might usually reflect that but with the Sand Martins and Swallows really coming into Hampshire in the weeks before the latest easing of Covid restrictions allowed us a few coastal trips at a time when the House Martins are now arriving it meant I could joyfully see all three of them at once this Easter weekend and I think as my spring builds and beyond this is something I’ll always remember. On the way back we spotted the sweet brown plumage of Sand Martins in the group too. House Martin is certainly a bird I will not forget in a hurry this year by the nature of where it came as its my milestone 130th bird of the year.

Quite something when you consider a week ago today I was still on 118 birds seen this year, the eleven year ticks I got to start my year list surge in March have been matched in April over one stunning Easter weekend which I am proud of. Not only an unprecedented amount of bird year ticks over an Easter weekend for me but not since the start of the year have I got year ticks four days running which is also notable and displays what a fantastic few days its been. My year list moves up another notch for now I’ve now seen more birds on this date than I had done at this stage in 2017 so my year list is my fourth highest ever for birds seen on this date behind my 2018, 2020 and 2019 lists this feels so amazing and like something to add to the joy of this big run of seeing birds for the first time this year when it was a lot lower than what I had seen in not only the last three year lists but 2016 and 2017 for so long its special to be above them. But of course its only early April so those two year lists grow from here on in and the others further behind so my year list will likely fall behind other years again but to have this moment I really enjoyed.

I went on to take the fifth picture in this photoset of a view and the sixth of a lovely Greenfinch. I then managed the seventh of a Great Tit in a spring time tree with my bridge camera which I enjoyed taking, there was a great symmetry with this and my fellow bridge camera picture of another tit the Blue Tit in a spring time tree on my lunch time Lakeside walk on Thursday just as this Easter weekend was about to begin so this was interesting to have the same type of picture twice. I took some more photos at home in a very relaxing afternoon a time to unwind which I have valued so much this long weekend and my previous two recent ones created by annual leave, but I did take the final three pictures in this photoset of one of the flower beds in the garden and Goldfinches feeding in the back garden and scene out the front on a delightfully sunny late afternoon and evening which I am enjoying so much now.

Wildlife Sightings Summary at the canal path: My first House Martins of the year, two of my favourite birds the Little Egret and Shelduck, Swallows, Sand Martins, Stock Dove, Woodpigeon, Magpie, Greenfinch, Great Tit, Blue Tit, Mallard, Shoveler, Gadwall, Black-tailed Godwit, Grey Heron, Canada Goose and we heard Cetti’s Warbler very well.

Well that brings to an end a fantastic, wild, packed and truly memorable Easter Weekend. Over four days we were able to visit three nature reserves we have really missed, seeing incredible wildlife; birds, butterflies, mammals and flowers and take in some exceptional Hampshire (and maybe bits of Dorset and Wiltshire where Martin Down was concerned on Good Friday) scenery I took so many pictures some of my most ever in such a short space of time I really did take so many it was unbelievable at times I averaged nearly 50 a day produced this weekend. On the wildlife note there was also unbelievable volume in that it was days of lists of birds in particular but other wildlife seen too as long as my arm it was incredible how much I was seeing and I think that was because with restrictions allowing us to get a little further afield for walks I was seeing not only the spring species across the board but also a lot of the winter birds were still around and then there were year round birds that were around and showing bits of nesting behaviour too so there was just so much that I was captivated by seeing. The weather was so brilliant over the weekend too really perfect mostly sunny and pretty warm conditions which I was so thankful for and there was so many top moments at home and very locally too for wildlife and photography. On top of this it was a truly positive and very relaxing time for which I really enjoyed and valued.

It was wonderful to share so much of it with all of you so thank you for all your kind interactions. I wish you all a brilliant and safe rest of April. Its back to Lakeside walks at lunch times which I shall value so much especially going into spring and maybe a bit more usual weekends for me for the next couple of weeks. I am on annual leave 19th-23rd April what would have been our Pemrbokeshire holiday that was postponed due to the pandemic but we are hoping to make it like the June one instead of the postponed (we hope) to this June Anglesey holiday last year a packed week of day trips.

4 notes · View notes

justaghostingon · 4 years

Text

Merfolk are Overrated

Chapter 4: To The Shore

Kodya’s class takes a fieldtrip, and it goes about as well as can be expected when you let three curious mermaids loose in a general store.

Read on ao3 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041904/chapters/62957779

Or below the cut

As the weeks rolled by, a pattern began to emerge. Kodya would wake up early and go out fishing, just like before. Only now three bright-colored heads would rise from the water to greet him as soon as he cut the engine, the Kid at the forefront with some small gift to appease Kodya. He would still set out the nets, like always. But now a mermaid or two would be there to try and help. Occasionally one, usually Red, would get stuck and need to be cut out. Kodya would still eat his lunches out on the water like always, but now those lunches would be shared by three mermaids chattering and snacking themselves. Even Fluffy would mime out an opinion or two. Then after lunch, Kodya would start teaching.

Gyrus was, by far, the best student Kodya had ever seen. It took him almost no time to learn basic math, and soon he was calculating faster and with greater accuracy than Kodya himself could. Kodya had once tried to explain how budgeting worked to illustrate why his nets were so important, and by that evening Gyrus had completely reorganized his budget to the point where he was saving more money than he’d thought was possible. In all honesty, Kodya was pretty sure Gyrus was some kind of super genius, and found he was rapidly running out of things to teach him.

If he’d only known the Kid, Kodya is pretty sure that he would have chalked up Gyrus’ super-intelligence to just a siren thing. But alas, it appeared that great age did not translate to skill with numbers, as both Fluffy and Red were leagues behind. Not that they were terrible, Kodya begrudgingly noted that if they had been to elementary school together they both have had higher grades than he did. But they needed a slower pace, and often Kodya found he had to slow down the lesson to accommodate them.

If teaching them all math had been their only goal, Kodya would have tried giving Fluffy and Red more class hours while sending the Kid off to do homework or something. But neither Fluffy or Red showed any particular interest in putting extra work into improving their own skills. They’d put up a show to support Gyrus of course, but Fluffy’s constant fidgeting and Red’s frustrated growls made it very clear they did not really want to be there. This in turn made Gyrus get distracted trying to explain and keep them interested, meaning he didn’t advance either. Eventually Kodya just got tired of it and told them to go out and help fish every other afternoon, while he focused on more advanced material with Gyrus.

This they happily accepted, only attending class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and leaving Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to the Kid and Kodya. Kodya would never admit it, but these days were his favorite. He’d stay out way longer than he usually did, just to keep whatever conversation the Kid inevitably dragged him into going. He hadn’t enjoyed another person’s company this much since he’d met Nephthys.

Nephthys noticed the change in behavior, commenting about how mopey he got while away from the sea, and giggling that he might have gotten a boyfriend he didn’t tell her about. Kodya was quick to deny this, but more than willing to talk about whatever trouble Red, Fluffy, and the Kid got into, under the pretense of being pesky dolphins of course. Such stories would appease her curiosity, and she rarely went beyond light teasing as she watched Kodya inevitably perk up as the weekend drew to a close and Monday neared.

It was on one such Monday that Kodya finally worked up the courage to ask Gyrus a question that had been weighing on him for a while.

“So how old are you anyways?” Kodya said, eyes on the white board as he wrote out a few problems he’d created based off of his and Nephthys’s shopping lists and an old book about store finance.

“Probably around your age,” Gyrus shrugged, to absorbed in his work on the problems to notice the way Kodya had shut the book to look at him sharply.

“And how old do you think I am?” Kodya pressed.

“I don’t know, 200s right?” Gyrus glanced up at him, and finally seemed to realize something was wrong. “Are you older?” He offered, looking embarrassed, and not at all like a being who was most certainly not a kid.

“I’m 24,” Kodya stated, voice flat. Now what am I going to call you? He mentally despaired.

“24?” Gyrus’ mouth fell open. “But you can’t be! You’re clearly an adult!”

“Of course I’m an adult!” Kodya crossed his arms, “I’ve been an adult for six years!”

“18?” Gyrus’ tail twitched in agitation. “Humans reach maturity so young? How long do you live?”

Kodya shifted uncomfortably at his tone, feeling slightly offended. He wasn’t the weird one here. “We live to be around 80? Some a bit less and some a bit longer, you know, a normal amount.”

“That’s so short,” Gyrus shook his head. “I can’t even…how can you stand it?”

“Hey!” Kodya scowled down at Gyrus, “Most creatures live way shorter life spans, so I’d say you living so long is the weird one here. We do just fine with 80 years thanks.”

Gyrus placed his head in his hands. “Every time I think I’m beginning to understand humans, I find out there’s so much more I don’t know.” He looked very small then, and forlorn. Kodya felt his anger dissipate.

“Look, Kid,” he said, drawing the last word on his tongue to see if Gyrus would notice and protest. He didn’t, and so Kodya plowed on. “You’re doing fine. You’ve learned everything I taught you way quicker than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“Not everything,” Gyrus sighed as he picked up his whiteboard. “I can do the calculations, sure, but I don’t really get all the words. Like this one,” he pointed to a problem, “35 cents for bananas. What are bananas? I know they must be food from how you talk about them, but I have no idea what they look like. And this!” He jabbed a finger at one of the words, “Bug spray! How do you get something as small as a bug to spray anything?”

“Slow down Kid,” Kodya interrupted and Gyrus deflated at the sound of his voice. “I can bring you a banana and bug spray if you want.”

“But even if you did, there would inevitably be something else I can’t picture or misunderstand. I just wish,” he sighed again, pulling his emerald tail close around his body. “I just wish I could see it all for myself.”

His lower lip started to tremble, and Kodya felt his heart clench at the sight. “Maybe you could,” he said, and then instantly wanted to hit himself for promising something so impossible. But Gyrus was looking at him with wide, watery eyes like Kodya just promised him the moon, and Kodya couldn’t bring himself to deny him anything.

----------------

The old shed opened with the loud grating noise of rusted hinges. Kodya winced slightly at the sound, before pushing forward into the crowded space before him. Nephthys had said the inflatable kiddie pool was just in here the last time she’d seen it. But that had been nearly seven years ago, back when she’d tried to teach him how to swim in exchange for teaching her written English. Those lessons had not lasted very long, in part because Kodya was much less gracious as a student than as a teacher, and in part because the drowning incident had still been fresh in his mind.

He shoved aside The fishing rod he’d gotten for his Mom at fifteen, still as clean and unused as the day he’d bought it, and some of her old Navy Seal camping gear. Where was it? It should be with the practical stuff…

Something bright and pink caught his eye, the faded plastic tucked quietly in a corner behind some old storage bins. Kodya waded over towards it and gave it a gentle tug, pulling out of another box labeled POOL in his mother’s loopy handwriting. He pulled the cumbersome plastic out, and stopped.

There was something else in the bin, soft against his hands. Weird. He couldn’t think of anything pool related that was soft, and his mother was usually so organized. He looked down to see a strange fur wrap below. It was plain brown, with faded spots making a star pattern along it. One edge was jagged and sharp, with bits of leather skin poking out below it. Kodya ran a finger down the edge, and wondered if someone had taken a blunt knife to it.

The plastic of the pool rustled against the boxes as Kodya shifted, drawing his attention back towards it. He shut the pool box with a snap. Whatever it was, it didn’t concern him. His mother could sort it out on her own time. He had a mermaid’s day to make.

---------

“I’m back!” Kodya called as two brightly colored heads appeared in the water. “And you’ll never believe what I brought for you today!”

Gyrus beamed at him, and Kodya took a minute to examine that lovely smile and enjoy how it was all for him. “We’ve got something to show you too!” the Kid exclaimed, “Do you want to see it?”

“Sure Kid,” Kodya allowed himself a slight twitch of his lips, wondering what seaglass or shells Gyrus had brought for him today. “But I’ll bet mine’s better.”

Red and the Kid exchanged glances, before Red sighed. “Just so we are clear,” she said, “I do not fully approve of this idea.” So saying, she dove into the water, and in her place rose a single white corner, then another and another, until there was a great white box with a handle sticking out the side.

Kodya blinked. “What is that supposed to be?” He asked, squinting at the sides. Something about the faded pink stickers looked familiar. Was that ice cream?

“It’s a box with wheels!” Gyrus proclaimed, gesturing to the suspiciously familiar object. Kodya raised an eyebrow, and the Kid blushed. “Lift it higher!” Gyrus hissed, and the white box raised above the water, allowing for both the wheels and Fluffy’s head to come into view.

“See?” Gyrus’ purple orbs practically glowed. Beside him Fluffy beamed and even Red looked a bit smug.

“I see,” said Kodya, feeling somewhat baffled. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“That’s the best part!” the Kid’s green tail surfaced to slash the top of the water excitedly. It went straight into Tori’s face and she sputtered, causing one end to dip back into the water. “This box holds water! Without it coming out! If you put me in this I could come with you to shore!”

Well that diminished Kodya’s surprise a bit. He felt a bit hurt. He’d put a lot of thought into his kiddie pool. But he shook it off in favor of squinting at the white cart. It was looking more and more familiar the more he stared.

“Is that,-” he frowned, “- Oli’s ice cream cart?!” Oli’s ice cream was a staple on the beach in the summer months, and he’d recently upgraded to owning a portable cart that he employed Anan to push around and increase business. But Anan had lost it under what he claimed was a sudden storm. Kodya narrowed his eyes. “Did you hypnotize Anan into giving that up?”

“We didn’t hypnotize anyone,” Red sniffed. “This was a gift.”

“We just asked, and he handed it right over!” Gyrus added. “He didn’t even stop to question why we were all in the water!”

Fluffy batted her eyelashes and then threw Kodya a wink, and Kodya had the sneaking suspicion that they had used a different method of coercion instead. But hey, he shrugged. Oli hadn’t held that much of a grudge, and it was high time Anan learned a lesson about not giving in to the whims of every pretty girl that smiled at him.

“So what was it you brought for us?” Gyrus asked innocently, and all three mermaids' attention snapped to him.

“Oh,” Kodya rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I kinda brought something similar, only bigger, and with no wheels.”

“Really?” Gyrus beamed. “That’s great! Now we can all go on land!” All? Kodya opened his mouth to protest. He could hide maybe one mermaid, but three?

“That would set some of my fears to rest,” Red said, sounding appeased. “I did not want to leave Gyrus to wander this strange world without protection.”

Fluffy began bobbing up and down in the water, splashing wildly with the ice cream cart to show her enthusiasm.

I’m not getting out of this, Kodya realized with a sinking dread as all three mermaids celebrated around him. I need a plan.

--------------

The plan was simple. Really. Early in the morning, Kodya would meet the three mermaids at the docks. There was a rainstorm scheduled for Thursday, perfect for both providing cover and keeping the mermaids wet. Kodya would load the three of them into the back of his truck, where they would climb into the kiddy pool. Then Kodya would drive really slowly into town, pull out the white cart, now covered in a blanket to pass as a wheelchair, and wheel each mermaid through the store. Simple.

The first part went off without a hitch. It was indeed raining on Thursday morning, the icky, thick, constant rain that made it very uncomfortable to be outside for long periods of time. When Kodya arrived on the dock, he found it deserted. Perfect.

“Guys?” he hissed as he scanned the dark waves. “It’s time.” Three multicolored heads rose from below the dock to greet him.

“That took too long,” Red grumbled. “I had half thought ye’d grown cold feet.”

“It took longer to fill the pool than I expected,” Kodya sighed. “Now come on.” He extended his arms towards Fluffy, who was closest.

Red batted his hand away. “I’ll go first,” she snapped. “It is my duty as champion of the queen to ensure the safety of the rest of the pod.” Kodya rolled his eyes, but complied, hauling her surprisingly light body up into the air. Sylvia went next, eagerly wrapping strong arms around his neck as he lifted her up into the truck too.

And then at last, it was Gyrus’ turn. Kodya reached down for him, determined not to react. It was just a simple assist after all. Kodya could feel both warm skin and slick scales as he carefully lifted him into the air. Gyrus’ arms wrapped around Kodya’s neck, pulling close to Kodya’s chest and soaking his already wet shirt further.

Gyrus ran a curious hand through his hair, playing with the hair tie in the back. “You’re hair feels so strange dry,” He murmured, lavender orbs hypnotic. Their faces were inches apart, and Kodya froze. They hadn’t been this close since the day they met, when Gyrus had called him perfect, and the mere memory sent Kodya’s whole face alight. Gyrus gave the slightest of frowns as he ran gentle fingers through Kodya’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“If ye are quite finished,” Tori’s loud voice broke through Kodya’s haze, “the sooner we start this, the sooner we can get back to the sea.”

Kodya yelped, placing Gyrus hastily in the back of the truck and ducking his head as he hurried to the front. Still bright red, he gripped the back of the wheel and took several deep breaths. He needed to focus damn it. Or this whole trip would end in disaster.

Disaster…the various, horrible ends of this hair brained scheme were enough to bring him back to reality. If he messed up here, the mermaids could end up in an aquarium, or worse, dissected. He took a deep breath and put the truck in drive. By the time he’d reached the store, the image of Gyrus’ face so close to his own was properly suppressed in the back of his mind.

---------

Step two turned out to have its own set of problems. Namely that as soon as he put the truck in park, he found the mermaids arguing in the back about who would go in first.

“It will be I,” Red’s arms were crossed. “It’s my job to keep you safe, there’s no point in arguing.”

“You don’t even want to see the store!” Gyrus scowled. “Nor do you know as much about humans as I do! And besides,” he crossed his arms, “I’ll be with Kodya so there’s no need to protect me!” He glanced to the side. “Right Sylvia?”

Fluffy threw up her hands in a clear signal of, keep me out of this!

“What’s the problem now?” Kodya massaged the space between his brow. Both Red and the Kid turned on him.

“I am going first, and that is final,” Red snapped at the same time Gyrus said,

“It isn’t fair!”

Kodya sighed, considering. On the one hand, letting Red go first would strengthen the fragile trust they had formed. On the other hand, the Kid was far, far too old to be babied like Red wanted, and going first with Red meant introducing her to Alistair. Kodya squared his shoulders. He’d rather avoid whatever fight she’d pick for as long as possible.

“It’s the Kid’s trip, he gets to go first,” he said, and Red scowled while Gyrus lit up.

“Alright!” Gyrus pulled himself to the edge of the truck to avoid the angry Red. “Help me down and let’s get going!”

“Not so fast kid!” Kodya scolded. “I’ve got to get the wheelchair ready first.” He pulled out the ice cream cart and opened the lid, revealing the cold water he’d taken from his hose the night before.

Carefully, he picked Gyrus up again, this time avoiding eye contact, and plopped him inside. Access water flooded over the edge and distracted the Kid while Kodya tried to hide his blush. To distract himself, he fiddled with the lid, wondering how it would close without bothering the top sticking out.

“This is so exciting!” Gyrus turned to Kodya, eyes shining. Kodya’s hands tightened on the lid at the sight, and a crack came from underneath them. Both Gyrus and Kodya looked down at the now unattached lid. Well, Kodya thought. There goes that problem.

The blanket was thrown over the top to hide the water and the faded ice cream stickers, and the makeshift wheelchair was ready to go. There was just one thing missing. “Here.” Kodya pulled out an old shirt and handed it to Gyrus. “Humans can’t go in stores without full clothing,” he explained, trying to make it seem normal and not like he’d spent hours agonizing over which one of his old shirts to give to Gyrus.

“Thank you,” Gyrus murmured, pulling the bright yellow shirt, specifically chosen to match the yellow tips of his tail, over his head. “Yellow is my favorite color.” Kodya shrugged as casually as he could, but tucked that little piece of information away in his brain.

“Time to go,” he said, stepping behind the cart pushing it towards the door.

---------

As Kodya predicted, Gyrus loved the store. He found everything about it fascinating. From the food to the overpriced towels and swimwear for tourists. Kodya thought he would explode when he found the nets Kodya usually bought and recognized them. He wanted to know how everything worked, what it all did, and why Kodya would or wouldn’t buy it. The towels in particular fascinated him, as he had known humans hated to be too wet, but he’d never realized what a big deal it was until he saw all the different patterns and colors. He was quite disappointed when Kodya broke it to him that the colors and patterns were purely decorative, and didn’t hold any significance at all.

Eventually they got down to business. Kodya walked Gyrus through his grocery list, explaining what each item looked like and what it did. Gyrus seemed to have memorized the prices, and was more than eager to read off the numbers and comment on cheaper options available. Kodya would then have to justify his choice, usually because of quality, and explain it to an attentive Gyrus. It was a long process, but Kodya didn’t think he’d ever had this much fun shopping for groceries before.

But as Kodya finished explaining about bananas and how they worked, he noticed Gyrus’ mood had taken a turn for the morose.

“What’s wrong?” Kodya asked, as Gyrus stared glumly down at the bunch of bananas in his hands. “Am I going too fast?”

“No, no,” Gyrus sighed. “It’s stupid.” Kodya crossed his arms, waiting, and Gyrus shifted the bananas into one hand to run the free one through his hair. “It’s not that I’m not grateful you brought me here so I could see everything, it’s just,” he peaked up at Kodya through his starshaped bangs, “there’s so much of it. I’ll never learn it all today, even if we didn’t have to hurry up and give Tori and Sylvia their turn.”

“Who said you had to learn it all today?” Kodya pointed out. “We’ve got the pool and the wheelchair now. We can definitely come back here again.”

“But it won’t always be raining,” Gyrus pointed out. “You might get seen helping us out of the water.”

Kodya waved a hand as he began to push Gyrus forward. “We’ll just have to figure out another way then. You’re smart. You know what the hurdles are, you come up with something.”

Gyrus shot Kodya a small smile. “Thank you Kodya,” he said. “You really are the best person to teach me.” Kodya ducked his head and pushed harder, trying to hide his blush.

“Kodya? Is that you? I thought I recognized you wandering about my store!” Kodya’s head snapped up to see Alistair waving from the counter. Oh no. “But who is this handsome stranger you’ve brought with you?” Alistair practically jumped over the counter to see better. It took all of Kodya’s strength not to grab the cart's controls and wheel them both out the door.

“Careful Alistair!” Kodya shouted as the man stepped closer and began shamelessly feeling up Gyrus’ muscles. “He’s in a wheelchair!” He pushed Alistair away as Gyrus starred with a look of absolute puzzlement on his face.

“Of course, of course!” Alistair said as he stepped back to lean on his counter. “What’s your name, handsome?”

“I’m Gyrus,” Gyrus said, sounding faintly amused. “Nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure! An absolute pleasure! I am Alistair, and this is my humble store!” Alistair gave a sweeping gesture to encompass the whole building. Kodya rolled his eyes at his theatrics.

“Are you really?” Gyrus asked, sounding intrigued. “Where do you get all the items for sale?”

“Trying to find my sources? How shameless,” Alistair raised an eyebrow and Gyrus blushed, sensing he’d done something wrong. Kodya scowled. “But don’t worry!” Alistair laughed. “My sources are all local, like our charming mutual friend, Kodya here!” He pointed to Kodya who crossed his arms.

“I don’t supply you that often,” Kodya grumbled.

“Oh come now Kodya, don’t be modest.” Alistair winked, he leaned over to Gyrus and whispered, “He caught me a great white shark, I still have the teeth if you want to buy them!”

“I know,” Gyrus smiled. “But I don’t need another shark’s tooth.”

“Another?” Alistair drew back in shock, mouth hanging open. He glanced wildly between Gyrus and Kodya. “You don’t mean to tell me our grumpy Kodya snagged a stud like you?”

“We aren’t dating Alistair,” Kodya stepped in before Gyrus had a chance to misunderstand. “I’m just showing him around while he’s in the states.”

“So he’s single?” Alistair said, and Kodya felt his heart stop.

“Kodya’s been really kind to me!” Gyrus piped up, clearly hoping to back up the illusion of being new to the area. “He’s taught me so much about these states!”

“Oh really? And what has he taught you?” Alistair leaned forward into Gyrus’ personal space.

“Lots! I’ve learned about money, and the presidents on the bills, and dinosaurs…” Gyrus began to rattle off all the things he’d recently learned while Alistair took the opportunity to stare shamelessly at his lips.

Kodya rolled his eyes, disgusted, then froze. Out of the corner of his eye he could have sworn he’d seen a blue tail.

-----------

Kodya stalked through the store, following the telltale trail of water down the aisles. He hated to leave the Kid alone with Alistair, but he trusted him to be able to handle himself and keep Alistair distracted while Kodya hunted down their real problem.

Speaking of which, he turned a corner to find one half of the dynamic duo munching happily away on the fish in the deli. “Fluffy!” Kodya hissed, as the pink-haired mermaid turned her wide eyes on him. “What are you doing here? And where’s Red?” He’d seen a blue tail, and unless Fluffy had changed her forest green scales blue and back in the last minute, there was no way she was alone.

Fluffy shrugged, gesturing to the fish in front of her to say, I don’t know, I got distracted by the food.

Kodya cursed, striding forward to grab Fluffy bodily and drag her away with a cry of, “you aren’t supposed to be here!” His motion startled Fluffy, whose tail whipped around and knocked the whole deli over, sending the whole display of fish directly on top of her.

Kodya and Fluffy froze. Panicked blue meeting panicked brown. For a second all was still, until in the silence the clunking sound of heavy boots began to fill the air. Fluffy sprang into action, covering herself with the fish in an attempt to blend in. Kodya helped, figuring that if whoever was coming mistook her tail for another fish they might just by themselves some time.

They had just finished when Knox, an employee of Alistair’s store, rounded the corner. “I heard a loud noise, and have been instructed to look for damages,” he said in that monotone voice of his.

Kodya could have cried with relief. If there was one word that summed Knox up, it was gullible. “Don’t just stand there!” He snapped, putting on his most thunderous expression. “Get the first aid kit!” Knox paused, eyes traveling from Kodya’s face to Sylvia’s fish covered tail, to her big puppy dog eyes about to overflow with tears.

“I will retrieve it,” he said, voice still montone, but there was a quickness in his step that betrayed his concern. As soon he turned the corner Kodya let out a relieved sigh.

Fluffy beamed up at Kodya, clearly ecstatic that it had worked. Kodya frowned back at her. “We still need to get out of here before he gets back,” he pointed out.

Fluffy rolled her eyes with the clear message of, you worry too much. And no Kodya wasn’t having that. He grabbed her arm and tugged it upwards.

“Come on,” he said as Fluffy obligingly circled her arms around his neck so he could lift her up. “We’ve got to find Red and get out of here before he comes back.”

“Before who comes back?” Kodya and Fluffy’s heads snapped to the right to see Tori emerging from the towel section. “And what was that noise?”

“What were you thinking!” Kodya felt his fury return in full force. “You knew you had to wait in the truck!” Fluffy looked down guiltily, but Red crossed her arms.

“I am the Champion of the Queen.” She scowled. “It is my duty to keep Gyrus safe. You were taking too long.”

“Gyrus is perfectly fine!” Kodya hissed, taking a step forward. “But now thanks to you two, I had to leave him alone, and now I have to get you out of here before anyone sees your tails and calls the press!”

Red drew herself up to her full height, which given half of her was a floppy fishtail, wasn’t that impressive. “I am perfectly capable of…” But Fluffy held up a hand to stop her, cocking her ear as if listening. Kodya and Tori followed her example, and Kodya’s heart stopped once again.

Footsteps.

Red dove towards the racks of towels as Kodya looked around wildly for a place to stash Fluffy. Could he throw her back into the fish?

Too soon the footsteps came to a halt. Kodya froze as a very familiar voice said, “Kody?”

Slowly Kodya turned around to see Nephthys standing in the aisle, eyes wide as she took in Red half hidden behind the towels and Fluffy still in Kodya’s arms. “Neph, I can explain,” he started, but she shook her head.

“Alistair is coming!” She said as she pulled out her purse. “Distract him while I fix this!” Kodya wanted to argue he’d be better able to carry both mermaids, wanted to ask why she wasn’t reacting, but the look in her eyes told him not to argue. He wordlessly handed off Fluffy and hurried back to where Alistair and Gyrus were waiting.

“Kodya!” Alistair called out. “What was that all about?”

“You just left,” Gyrus added, a bit reproachfully. “Then we heard a huge crash.”

Kodya waved a hand. “An accident. But don’t worry, Nephthys is taking care of it.” He shot Gyrus a look that he hoped communicated, help me distract him.

Alistair was still frowning, concern clear on his face. “I should still check it out, someone could have been hurt.”

“You really don’t have to,” Kodya said, and Gyrus added,

“Didn’t you say you can’t leave the counter to avoid losing a sale?”

Alistair stroked his beard, looking torn. “This is true, but I really can’t ignore people hurt in my store…” his face split into a sly grin that made Kodya’s stomach drop. “So Gyrus, you’re hired!”

“I’m what?” Gyrus stared in confusion.

“Wait a minute!” Kodya protested. “You can’t just hire Gyrus!” He was a mermaid for one, with a tail and no social security!

“Why not?” Alistair beamed. “He’s got all the qualifications: He has an understanding of basic math, thinks Andrew Jackson isn’t worthy of his position on the twenty dollar bill, and best of all, he’s really cute!” Alistair winked at Kodya and turned to Gyrus, “So what do you say? I’ll pay you an entry level salary, but with your brain and looks you’re likely to get promoted no problem!”

“You’ll pay me?” Gyrus blinked. “In money?”

Alistair opened his mouth to reply, an amused smile on his lips, just as Nephthys rounded the corner with Fluffy on her shoulder and another woman with red hair helping Nephthys support her. “Time to go Kody!”

Kodya wasted no time, grabbing Gyrus’s wheelchair’s handles as Gyrus scrambled for the grocery bags and began wheeling him out after the three women.

“Wait a minute,” Alistair started, “What happened?” But Nephthys waved her free hand behind her.

“Got it handled, take care of the mess and bill me!” She cried as she pushed through the door, a towel wrapped over Fluffy’s tail as she and the familiar looking stranger carried her out. Kodya and Gyrus followed, leaving a confused Alistair behind as they stepped into the open air.

“Where’s Red?” Kodya asked as soon as they got to the safety of the truck. He and the blue-tailed mermaid never saw eye to eye, but he didn’t want to leave her stuck in there.

“I’m right here,” snapped the woman with the red hair, “or have you gone blind?” Kodya blinked, and blinked again, his brain not catching up with his eyes. His gaze traveled down, from her distinctive red hair, to her odd plated shirt, to the towel tied around her waist, and her….

“You have legs!” Gyrus screamed, finger pointing in shock. Kodya blinked again, and yes. That was what his brain was struggling to comprehend. Before them both stood Red, on two legs and looking utterly human.

Tori placed a hand on her hip. “Yes, thanks to the potion the witch gave me.” She gestured to Nephthys with her other hand.

Kodya’s eyes flicked to Nephthys, and she gave him jazz hands with an awkward smile. “Surprise?”

#room of swords #room of swords fanfic #kodya #gyrus #sylvia #tori #strawbarrow #mermaid au #menfolk are overrated

10 notes · View notes

justknitstuff · 4 years

Text

What Happens During The Livestream

Klance AU month! Forgive me but they are going to be horribly out of order (for a reason) and most likely late (I’m lazy).

This is day 12, Modern. I picked YouTubers, and it’s going to be the start of a series of oneshots, Enjoy!

"Alright everyone, that was a great workout for this morning." Shiro addressed their viewers. He watched as people quickly typed in the chat their thanks. "No, thank you all so much! Your time and donations means so much to us and the charity. My time with you is up now though. Up next will be everyone's favorite grumpy gamer and Lance."

At that moment the door to the large entertainment room opened and in shuffled said sleepy gamer. Keith's hands were filled with a large mug of coffee and a plate laden with pancakes. Shiro raised an eyebrow, eyeing the sugary plate.

"Hunk's up making breakfast." Keith explained as he sat down next to Shiro in front of the cameras and monitor set up.

"Hunk should be sleeping! His portion of the stream ended not too long ago." Shiro protested.

"You try making him not feed everyone in the house." Keith replied, digging into his food.

He turned to the monitor that had the streams chat up and began reading the conversations. Shiro meanwhile, got up to leave the room to head to the kitchen. Lance entered the room, carrying his own pancake laden plate just as Shiro was passing the threshold. Greeting each quickly, Shiro pressed on and Lance sat down in his abandoned chair.

"What's shakin, all my bacon? How is everyone this morning?" Lance addressed the main camera. He watched as the chat lit up with happy greetings and emojis.

"Looks like we have some new viewers that don't know what's going on." Keith piped up from his side. Both watched as a few people agreed.

"I'll be happy to explain what's going on to you all!" Lance said happily, a wide smile on his face as he quickly took a gulp from Keith's mug. He ignored the glare he felt boring into the side of his head as he explained.

The Lion's Den. One of the most popular groups of content creators on the platform, consisting of six friends plus their editor and a manger. Each person was scheduled to upload their own content on a specific day of the week, with Sunday reserved for uploading a bloopers reel from the week.

Shiro created for Mindful Mondays. He would make videos to start the week off right. His portion consisted of handicap modified exercises and yoga, as well as inspirational talks.

Pidge had control of Techie Tuesday, where she would review anything technological. Sometimes she would present her own inventions.

Keith ran Lion's Den Gaming on Wednesday, and did exactly that. His portion consisted of Let's Plays, and he was known mostly for his horror game playthroughs.

Lance had Thursday, a portion he had lovingly called 'Lance Does A Lot,' though many fans have taken to calling his program Lancalot for short. It stuck. Lance does exactly what his channel says, he does a little bit of everything. Depending on his and the viewers mood, he'll sing, or vlog, or try new things.

Hunk mans Foodie Friday. He would go through recipes and cook or bake for his viewers. He also would show how to do recipes with replacement ingredients, such as what to do if you don't have the milk your recipe called for.

Rounding off the week was Allura, who ran Week In Review. It consisted of Allura addressing big news topics of the week, latest trends, and a discussion.

"Sometimes we collaborate on each others segment." Lance finished up the description of what made up The Lion's Den. "We also do live charity streams. Every few months though, we'll do a huuuuuuge..." Lance elongated the word, stretching out his arms to emphasize how huge it was while backing up his chair. In the process he (gently) flung a hand into Keith's face, who glared once again and (not as gently) pushed his hand away. "Long stream. We all invade Allura's house and stream live constantly from Friday morning to Sunday night. We then rotate shifts so we can get some sleep during this. We leave the donations open the whole time, and have special events when we reach a goal."

Keith glanced at the donation amount and snickered. "Guess what Lance?"

Lance groaned and invaded Keith's space, draping himself over his friends back. Keith froze briefly when Lance touched him. 'Not now gay thoughts, not now!' He thought to himself, suppressing the pleasant shudder that wanted to shoot through him.

"Nooooo..." Lance bemoaned. "I mean great for the charity, but not so great for me!"

Keith motioned to the large white board behind them, jostling Lance in the process. "For those that are just joining us, we reached our first goal last night. The event was Pidge had to bake something without a recipe."

"With Hunk's supervision of course cause we all know how dangerous Pidge is in the kitchen." Lance added. He pulled himself away from the gamer and settled back into his own chair, wheeling it back to the desk. Keith sighed at the loss. Lance began to dig into his own breakfast. "She made cookies that were surprisingly almost edible!"

Keith snickered, looking at the donation bar again. "And we're only $1,000 away from our next goal. So guys, if you want to see Lance play a horror game of my choice..." Keith put a hand on his own chest. He could feel the anxious energy rolling off his friend. "Get those donations in!" He finished.

The pout on Lance's face was too adorable. 'Not adorable! Definitely not adorable!' Keith screamed at himself. On the outside though, he only rolled his eyes.

"You didn't have to agree to this, you know. We could've come up with something else..." Keith said. He stood up and gathered both of their empty plates and his mug for a refill. He paused at the door though when Lance, usually vocal about everything, was silent. Keith turned back and saw Lance engrossed in the chat screen. From his vantage point by the door, it looked the chat was going fast. Keith shrugged his shoulders though and left for the kitchen. If it was important Lance would tell him when he got back.

And boy was it important.

Lance was still unusually silent when Keith returned with two full mugs of coffee. Black for himself, and an ungodly amount of cream and sugar for Lance. Ignoring the contemplative look on Lance's face for the moment, Keith set down the mugs and leaned over to look at the chat.

The gamers eyes bugged wide and he sputtered as he read what the viewers were discussing. "We aren't going to kiss guys!" He cried, settling back into his chair.

Lance twiddled his fingers and quietly said, "We could..."

Keith's blood ran cold. Lance was known for his jokes, both good and bad. In the past he had tried to jokingly obnoxious kiss everyone on the cheek. This wasn't like that time. Keith didn't know how to react.

"We're not going to kiss instead of you playing the game. You're not worming your way out of that." Keith finalized.

"What if that's not what I was talking about?" Lance wouldn't look directly at Keith, but he could see the Cuban's tanned cheeks darken with a blush.

The chat exploded with comments. Much like Keith's brain was currently doing. While he floundered for something to say, Allura entered the room. Still in pajamas and no makeup, she had clearly been in bed. She put a hand on each boy and squeezed their shoulders.

"I think you two should go have this conversation elsewhere. I will take over for now."

Both boys gaped up at her, Lance finding his voice first. "But Allura, it's not your turn. You're supposed to be asleep!"

"I was. But then I woke up and turned on the stream. This is a private matter though. You come back when this is all sorted out."

Allura left no room for arguing as she lightly pushed them to get them out of their chairs. Keith sighed and stood up first.

"Yeah, you're right Allura. Lance, come on. We have some things to talk about." With a blush rising on his own light checks, he held out a hand for Lance.

Lance looked at it, bewildered, for a moment. Then he smiled and grasped the offered hand, hauling himself up. "Yeah, we do need to talk. I'll follow you." Lance said softly, squeezing their linked hands.

#klance #klance au month #klance au month 2020 #knit writes

21 notes · View notes

saymypiece · 4 years

Text

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob!

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other.

youtube

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

youtube

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already!

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months !

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…

#mcomalaysia #mco #stayhome #covid_19 #coronavirus #malaysia

2 notes · View notes

whatzappening · 5 years

Text

The Zappadydoodah

Hello! I’m Jenny – I am 38, married to a beautiful (in all the ways) lady for five years. We have a son who is nearly two and another baby on the way. I’m writing this down because I’m in a transformative time of life, with deliberate hope for change occurring around some treatment for my Stuff. I’m feeling super overwhelmed, massively restless and thought it might be a) handy to channel it all into a writing area, and b) useful for anyone else in a similar sitch.

The Stuff

So here’s my stuff. Fibromyalgia since 2005, Chronic Fatigue diagnosed since 2011, Depression and Anxiety diagnosed since 2012 but probably always. Definitely always.

Here is a list of some of the things I have done to try to manage/fix/deal with my stuff:

SSRI’s

Meditation

Herbal supplements

Naturopathy

CBT

Psychotherapy

Protein shakes

Exercise Therapy

Counseling

Hydrotherapy

Acupuncture

Pilates

Yoga

All of the Elimination Diets

Gym

Walking

Alexander Technique

Kinesiology

Psychics

Hypnosis

A thousand doctors

Graded Exercise Therapy

Narrative Therapy

Rheumatologist

Physiotherapy

Massage

Reiki

All the other stuff I can’t remember

Short of fish slapping that’s all I can remember right now (I did not try fish slapping). I want to be clear that a lot of these things have been extremely helpful in managing my life and keeping me as upright and mobile as possible. The ones who promised me that they could fix me, did the opposite and caused catastrophic setbacks, in every single case. I don’t feel like me listing which ones are which is helpful because every human reacts differently to different options depending on who they are and what their experiences have been.

I will say, however, that my current team members around my health are counselor, physiotherapist, massage therapist, acupuncturist/TCM practitioner.

So that is my stuff. Read on if you fancy!

What’s happening now, and how and why?

So a couple of months ago we were taking our kid for an outing on a Sunday morning. We thought we’d head to a local market about half an hour’s drive and visit our friends who were selling food there to raise money for the local wildlife shelter. Cute! Fun Sunday outing! He fell asleep five minutes from our destination so we kept going, because sleep is golden and we had no place we had to be, and ended up driving past my sister’s place.

We hadn’t seen them for a little while (she lives there with her daughters who are 19 and 20, both at uni this year so sometimes not there) and pulled up in the driveway, waking them up because they don’t live with a toddler and get to sleep in. I have no bitterness about this, it’s just something worth mentioning.

Her youngest daughter, my niece has had severe fibromyalgia for several years now. The list of things she’s tried are varied and include things like hospital stays, ketamine infusions, morphine – and they didn’t help. Morphine didn’t touch the sides of her pain. I won’t go into too much detail but her quality of life was non existent and she was cut down at her best and brightest. It’s horrific and unfair and all the other things. I have not seen colour in that kid’s face other than green for a number of years.

When we rocked up, she was pink cheeked and was about to go out for brunch with a friend.

Let me pause there – every part of that sentence was not possible for years. So after mouthing OMG at my sister when my niece wasn’t looking, we sat down at my sister’s dining table after her she went out with her friend and my sister took my hand. She teared up and said will you please, please think about trying this thing. It works. Look at her.

And then my heart skipped a beat. It had literally not occurred to me that anything could work. That was certainly not my lived experience. I knew they were trying a thing, and I was ready to support them as much as I could (and knowing that sometimes I need to keep a stronger boundary, to protect my sense of self and eschew self pity) when it inevitably didn’t work and their desperation in scrambling for something, some relief, would continue.

“things don’t work for people like me”

That was the sentence that was ringing in my head, loud and clear as a bell. I had believed one too many times when someone had promised me they could make it all better, and then as time went on the prices would increase and the narrowing field of ways I could be pressed in on me and the possibilities vanished when things that weren’t actually physically possible for me to do (and no, I couldn’t push through or engage in mind over matter, get fucked if you think that’s a thing that can happen in this situation, frankly) and I was a bad, naughty client who wasn’t complying so their promise no longer applied. By then they had all of the money and my sense of self was at rock bottom. Snake oil merchants for the win.

Four or so years ago I had a massive breakthrough with a fabulous narrative therapist I was working on my health management with. One day she asked me how it would be if I could just accept my limitations and not place pressure on myself to be capable of anything more than I could do. That I have a serious illness that impacts every single area of my life, and the more I ignore it the louder it gets. How would it feel to accept that?

Because I was ready to hear it, and because I trusted her, and because I knew everything I knew by that stage, I took it in and really imagined how it would feel. And my shoulders dropped about fifty metres and I felt relaxed and calm.

That year I had my first winter since my diagnosis where I didn’t have a severe depressive episode. I rested more, I kept myself warm, I didn’t push myself to not be such a big whiny baby. I cared for myself. I didn’t pretend I wasn’t unwell. I acknowledged it and acted accordingly. Bloody hell – it was absolutely life altering. I will always be grateful to that therapist for that revelation. Then she went and decided to help the refugees on Manus Island with their myriad of psychological issues resulting from trauma and abuse, which I understood but felt a bit miffed about in a selfish way.

So that huge shift had informed the way I went about caring for myself. What a relief to not feel the pressure of turning every stone over just in case. Wearing myself out going to All The Appointments. Never stopping because if I did that meant giving up.

Stopping is brilliant and should be compulsory for all people in all situations.

So now I have my team around me. Every member is crucial and I’m pretty happy most of the time. I’m a great parent and wife and friend and relative, I think.

The thought of messing with that? Oof. SO risky. Terrifying. But my sister held my hand and asked me to think about it. So I did.

I don’t mean to vaguebook atcha. The thing is called TMS and is usually provided to people who have severe depression. The kind where no medication works and everything is hopeless. It’s non invasive, and uses magnetic thingamebobs to retrain the pathways in your brain that have died off due to illness. So for people with fibro, the pathways of normal sensation are often replaced with pain pathways. Recently when I was extremely distressed about a work situation and I could not deal with what was happening, my brain told me that whenever I took a step I was at risk of my ankle shattering. My ankle was not at risk of shattering, but the pain felt extremely real and terrifying. And so on and so forth. So the TMS thingo (and to be honest it’s a little bit tinfoil hat to avoid the government reading your thoughts) is a metal cap that goes over your hair on the place where the specific neural pathways are, then magnetic waves are sent through the thing which stimulate your brains. It’s habit forming, so doing it once a week isn’t going to do squat. But 3-5 zaps a week (each zap is 30-60 mins) will be highly likely to have an impact. 5 will work faster, 3 will still work the same amount but will take a little longer.

They recommend about 30 sessions and then you can taper off and see how you respond. Here’s the kick. I live 90 mins from Melbourne CBD and it’s the closest place I can go for treatment. A three hour round trip a day isn’t possible for me (both in terms of fatigue and available free time).

My work is quite seasonal so I had planned to close off my books from May for a few months, and we were all going to go as a family to rent a house for a few months and just smash it. But then we both realised my wife’s pregnancy wasn’t getting easier and sooner would be better than later. So the compromise is as follows:

Kicking off this month with a week together as a family for calibration and a couple of treatments, and then I’ll head to Melbourne Tuesday morning til Thursday middle of the day allowing me three zaps (Tues – Wed – Thurs) and on the way home I get acupuncture so I can decompress a bit before arriving for family time at home and don’t just dump all my emotions all over them. I’ll have had time to process and chat a bit. Fridays the kidlet is in daycare, Saturdays and Sundays as per usual, Monday with the wee fella. Tuesdays drop him off at daycare late on my way in to town. We’re getting some help with kid wrangling on Wednesdays from daycare pickup to bedtime so my beautiful pregnant wife won’t have to be too exhausted after working all day. There’s a lot going on. Did I mention we’re married but not legally so we’re going to do that in a few weeks as well? It’s a big time.

I turned it all over and over and over in my head, spoke with some key people and most helpfully talked with my love. You don’t owe us anything, she said, and meant it. You try it, you don’t try it, we love you. Your body and health changes, or doesn’t, we love you. If you try it and it doesn’t work and it creates massive turmoil for you then we cross that bridge. You’ve dealt with worse.

So forward we go.

1 note · View note

patriotsnet · 3 years

Text

How Many Votes Do Republicans Need To Repeal Obamacare

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-votes-do-republicans-need-to-repeal-obamacare/

How Many Votes Do Republicans Need To Repeal Obamacare

Schumer: ‘we Can Work Together Our Country Demands It’

Senate Republicans fail to get necessary votes to repeal and replace Obamacare

Until the end, passage on the Health Care Freedom Act, also dubbed the skinny repeal, was never certain. Even Republicans who voted for it disliked the bill.

The skinny bill as policy is a disaster. The skinny bill as a replacement for Obamacare is a fraud. The skinny bill is a vehicle to getting conference to find a replacement, Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., said at a Thursday evening news conference hours before the vote alongside fellow Republicans McCain, Ron Johnson and Bill Cassidy, before the details were released.

The skinny repeal was far from Republicans campaign promise of also rolling back Medicaid expansion, insurance subsidies, Obamacare taxes, and insurance regulations.

Many Republicans who did vote for it said they were holding their nose to vote for it just to advance the process into negotiations with the House of Representatives.

The legislation included a repeal of the individual mandate to purchase insurance, a repeal of the employer mandate to provide insurance, a one-year defunding of Planned Parenthood, a provision giving states more flexibility to opt out of insurance regulations, and a three-year repeal of the medical device tax. It also would have increased the amount that people can contribute to Health Savings Accounts.

Leigh Ann Caldwell is an NBC News correspondent.

Kevin Mccarthy: Republicans Can Repeal Obamacare Before Replacing It

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy said Tuesday that Republicans could repeal Obamacare before finding a replacement for it, according to the Hill.

I dont think you have to wait, McCarthy told reporters. My personal belief, and nothings been decided yet, but I would move through and repeal and then go to work on replacing.

But healthcare experts, including some Republicans, say this approach could cause chaos for Obamacare enrollees and the insurance market during that period of time between the repeal of the law and when a replacement is found.

McCarthy and others have called for a transition period where Obamacare would be phased out gradually over a period of two years or another specified period of time after a repeal of the law is passed.

Even so, critics have said that insurers could leave the system once they know the law is being phased out, leaving no options for those enrolled in Obamacare for 2018.

Insurers have already left the exchanges in some states, leaving people with only one insurer to choose from when purchasing plans on the exchange.

The task of repealing and replacing Obamacare at the same time, however, could prove difficult for Republicans.

They need just 50 votes in the Senate to repeal the core of the healthcare law, but they need 60 votes in the Senate to pass a replacement to the law, which means the replacement would have to have support from Democrats as well as Republicans.

What We Learned In The House: Support For A Repeal Bill Can Happen Quickly

One lesson Ive taken from the past year of covering the Obamacare repeal-and-replace debate is that these bills look doomed to fail up until the moment they dont.

Take, for example, the American Health Care Act that the House passed this May. Within 48 hours, the bill went from doomed to sailing right through. The most puzzling part was how little happened in between.

Moderate Republicans like Rep. Fred Upton were critical of the bill because of how it could affect Americans with preexisting conditions. Upton publicly came out against the Obamacare repeal bill on May 2 in an interview with a local radio station. But literally the next day, he announced that a small tweak to the bill would win his support.

The tweaks didnt actually fix the core problems that Upton had with the bill. He secured a small pot of funding to help those with preexisting conditions and used that as cover to vote for a bill that would cause 22 million Americans to lose coverage.

Other Republicans quickly fell in line behind Upton, even though no major changes were made to quell their concerns, and the American Health Care Act passed the House on May 4.

Of course, some Republican plans that look doomed are, in fact, doomed. But at this stage, its really hard to tell the difference. Sometimes, as we saw in the House, a small amendment can make all the difference in flipping the key no votes to yes. Sometimes, as weve seen in the Senate, the votes just arent there.

You May Like: How Many Registered Republicans Are In The United States

Trumps Executive Action Could Erode Marketplace Built Under Obamacare

Attempts to repeal portions of the Affordable Care Act have failed in the past several months, leading President Donald Trump to issue an executive order expanding access to cheaper, less comprehensive health care plans.

The order, signed on Oct. 12, instructs federal agencies to remove certain limitations on “association health plans” and expand the availability of short-term health plans, both of which can skirt certain minimum coverage requirements included in the Affordable Care Act and state laws.

These changes will not immediately take effect; federal agencies will have to figure out how to act on Trump’s directions.

The executive action orders agencies to explore ways in which the government can expand access to short-term health plans, which are available to individuals on a three-month basis and meant for people who are in-between health care coverage plans. Under the instructions, association health plans would be allowed to sell plans across state lines; those plans allow small businesses to band together to create cheaper health care plans that offer fewer benefits.

The order was intended to create more options for individuals seeking health insurance and help stimulate competition among insurers. Some health policy advocates worry that it could disrupt the insurance marketplace in a way that would drive up health care costs for elderly individuals and people with medical conditions.

It will be months before changes are seen in the marketplace.

Likely To Vote No: 1 Senate Republican

Alaskas Lisa Murkowski also voted against all three versions of repeal in July, criticizing what she viewed as an overly secretive and partisan process to write the various bills and raising concerns about the Medicaid cuts. She has not slammed the GOP repeal effort as aggressively as Collins, but she does not sound especially inclined to back Cassidy-Graham.

So if Collins and Murkowski are no votes, Republicans need all four members below to vote yes.

Recommended Reading: How Many Seats Do Republicans Hold In Congress

Senate Gop Tries One Last Time To Repeal Obamacare

McConnell and his lieutenants will gauge support for the bill this week in private party meetings.

By BURGESS EVERETT and JOSH DAWSEY

09/17/2017 02:51 PM EDT

Republicans say Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell wont bring up the bill if there is any chance of failure, given the dramatic collapse in the summer. | john Shinkle/POLITICO

Obamacare repeal is on the brink of coming back from the dead.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and his leadership team are seriously considering voting on a bill that would scale back the federal governments role in the health care system and instead provide block grants to states, congressional and Trump administration sources said.

It would be a last-ditch attempt to repeal Obamacare before the GOPs power to pass health care legislation through a party-line vote in the Senate expires on Sept. 30.

No final decision has been made, but the GOP leader has told his caucus that if the bill written by Sens. Lindsey Graham and Bill Cassidy has the support of at least 50 of the 52 GOP senators, he will bring it to the floor, Graham and Cassidy say. That would give Republicans one more crack at repealing the Affordable Care Act, a longtime party pledge.

Your guide to the permanent campaign weekday mornings, in your inbox.

Some Republicans believe that if the bill were put on the floor Monday, it would have the support of 49 senators.

Obama: Gop Blocked 500 Bills

President Barack Obama is railing against congressional Republicans, telling a Hollywood crowd that the midterm elections are crucial because the GOP is willing to say no to everything.

The president, speaking at a Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee event Wednesday evening hosted at Walt Disney Studios Chairman Alan Horns home, said Republicans have been obstructionist since even before he took office.

Their willingness to say no to everything the fact that since 2007, they have filibustered about 500 pieces of legislation that would help the middle class just gives you a sense of how opposed they are to any progress has actually led to an increase in cynicism and discouragement among the people who were counting on us to fight for them, Obama said of Republicans.

The conclusion is, well, nothing works, the president continued. And the problem is, is that for the folks worth fighting for for the person whos cleaning up that house or hotel, for the guy who used to work on construction but now has been laid off they need us. Not because they want a handout, but because they know that government can serve an important function in unleashing the power of our private sector.

Obama opened by saying that he is in trouble at home, because in 2012 he had told his wife, first lady Michelle Obama, that he had run his last campaign.

Recommended Reading: When Did Republicans Turn Against Nixon

Wild Cards: 4 Senate Republicans

Utahs Mike Lee and Kentuckys Rand Paul have been continual roadblocks for Republicans during the repeal process, fighting it from the right and essentially opposing any legislation that leaves Obamacares rules and regulations in place. Lee has been noncommittal about Cassidy-Graham. But Paul has attacked it, arguing that it still gives states the choice and ability to effectively leave Obamacare in place. He sounds like a hard no right now, but Im skeptical he would cast the vote to block an Obamacare repeal bill. The reason: Paul has cultivated a brand as a strong conservative, so a vote that would, in effect, save Obamacare would not be ideal for him.

Kansass Jerry Moran, meanwhile, has been a vocal defender of Medicaid, so its not clear if he would back a bill that cuts Medicaid as much as Graham-Cassidy does.

McCain, for his part, was a key vote against Obamacare repeal in July and it seemed like a capstone to the Arizona senators career as a self-described maverick. He urged Republicans just this Sunday not to engage in a hurried process that skips over the relevant committees and doesnt include Democrats. Cassidy-Graham is being rushed, hasnt gone through the committees for hearings and has no Democratic support.

Want the latest politics news? Get it in your inbox.

Gop Has A Month To Pass Obamacare Repeal With 51

Republicans vote to repeal Obamacare

If Republicans want to try again to repeal the Affordable Care Act with just a simple majority, they only have until the end of September to do it.

Thats according to Sen. Bernie Sanders, the ranking member on the Senates budget committee. According to Sanders, the Senate parliamentarian declared Friday that the Senates 2017 budget resolution, which gave reconciliation instructions to repeal Obamacare, will expire at the end of the month.

That means that Republican senators will either have to pass a new budget to repeal health care with a simple majority or they will have to have 60 votes a filibuster-proof majority to make changes to Obamacare.

The parliamentarians office declined to comment to CNN, saying its policy was not to speak with the media. CNN has reached out to Republicans on the Senate budget committee about whether they agree with Sanders assessment.

Todays determination by the Senate parliamentarian is a major victory for the American people and everyone who fought against President Trumps attempt to take away health care from up to 32 million people, Sanders said in a statement. Now that the parliamentarian has determined that Senate Republicans cannot use reconciliation instructions to repeal the Affordable Care Act beyond this fiscal year, we need to work together to expand, not cut, health care for millions of Americans who desperately need it.

CNNs Manu Raju and Ted Barrett contributed to this report.

Don’t Miss: How Do Republicans Really Feel About Trump

Trumps Promise To Repeal Obamacare Is Now In Limbo

President Donald Trump expressed disappointment after Republican lawmakers’ failure to muster enough votes to repeal Obamacare placed one of his loftiest campaign promises in limbo.

A series of defections by Senate Republicans scuttled two separate efforts to dismantle the sweeping U.S. health care law put in place by Trump’s predecessor, President Barack Obama.

“We’ve had a lot of victories, but we haven’t had a victory on health care,” Trump told reporters July 18, as it became clear the latest Republican legislative efforts would fail. “We’re disappointed.”

A slim margin of error constrained GOP efforts to repeal and replace Obamacare and forced a delicate balancing act between the party’s conservative and moderate members.

But defections by Sens. Jerry Moran of Kansas and Mike Lee of Utah on July 17 brought to four the number of Republican senators to publicly oppose the bill , effectively killing the repeal-and-replace plan. Senate leadership could only afford to lose two Republican votes for passage.

Senate Republicans then turned their attention to a measure that would repeal major parts of Obamacare over two years, in theory buying lawmakers enough time to agree on a replacement plan before the Affordable Care Act, often called Obamacare, was largely dismantled.

“I did not come to Washington to hurt people,” Capito said in a statement. “I cannot vote to repeal Obamacare without a replacement plan that addresses my concerns and the needs of West Virginians.”

Gop Aims To Kill Obamacare Yet Again After Failing 70 Times

Chris Riotta U.S.Donald TrumpAffordable Care ActObamacare

The GOP may be down for the count in it’s failed attempts to repeal and replace former President Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Actbut don’t count Lindsey Graham out just yet.

President Donald Trump met with the South Carolina senator and one of his fiercest critics in the Republican party on Friday night to discuss a bill that would effectively block Obamacare funding, according to two sources familiar with the meeting and legislation currently being drafted. Republican officials tell Politico Graham’s bill could potentially reach 50 votes after a series of failed attempts in recent weeks to both repeal and replace, then simply repeal, Obama’s landmark health care initiative.

After last week’s latest attempt to remove provisions of Obamacare ended with Sen. John McCain’s dramatic “no” vote effectively keeping it alive along with two other senators, Newsweek has found at least 70 Republican-led attempts to repeal, modify or otherwise curb the Affordable Care Act since its inception as law on March 23, 2010.

“I had a great meeting with the President and know he remains fully committed to repealing and replacing Obamacare,” Graham said in a statement Friday night. “President Trump was optimistic about the Graham-Cassidy-Heller proposal. I will continue to work with President Trump and his team to move the idea forward.”

How many more times that may take, is anyone’s guess.

Also Check: Which Republicans Voted To Impeach Trump Today

Dylan Scott guides you through the fallout of the Covid-19 pandemic and the health care policies that matter most.

Analysts expect the bill would lead to millions of Americans losing coverage, similar to previous Republican repeal bills. Republicans might not even know the full extent of the new bills effects on the health care system because they are likely to vote on the bill before the Congressional Budget Office can release its full analysis. The CBO is rushing to at least a provide a bare-bones analysis by early next week. The Senate has now scheduled two hearings for Monday and Tuesday on the bill.

Senate Republicans need 50 votes to pass this bill, meaning only two Republicans can defect. As my colleague Dylan Scott has pointed out, Republicans always have 45 or so votes to repeal Obamacare. Its the last five that are the battleground.

Several senators who opposed the last Obamacare repeal effort havent taken an official position yet. So the vote could fail just like past Republican attempts. But all signs we have from Capitol Hill suggest that it could pass. Cassidy is actively working to persuade senators to vote for the bill and reaching out to governors, too, to pressure their senators.

Ive had governors calling up their senators, 14 or 15 governors, saying you need to get on this, Cassidy told reporters at a Friday morning briefing.

Gop Health Care Bill Would Cut About $765 Billion In Taxes Over 10 Years

But sentiment has changed on Obamacare, with Gallup Poll finding this month that 55 percent now approve of the ACA.

The AHCA faces a much tougher road in the Senate, and if it dies there, some of those vulnerable GOP members may have made what ends up being a futile vote.

But there’s another side to consider, too. For Republicans who have made the refrain “repeal and replace Obamacare” their mantra for seven years now, not acting on their signature campaign promise could risk depleting enthusiasm among their core voters, who they also need to turn out in November 2018 to combat a Democratic base that is energized against President Trump.

And after the first attempt at repeal failed in an embarrassing fashion, House Republicans and Trump badly needed a win. That’s why they took a victory lap in the White House Rose Garden on Thursday afternoon, even though the bill is far from becoming law.

“The American people expected us to deliver on the promises we’ve made and that’s what House Republicans have just done,” National Republican Congressional Committee communications director Matt Gorman wrote in a memo after the vote.

Republicans have pointed out that more insurance companies are pulling out of state-run exchanges, and the GOP bill will cut about $765 billion in taxes over the next decade, NPR’s Scott Horsley reported, though mostly for wealthy Americans.

Thank you @RepMimiWalters and for standing in front!

Meredith Kelly May 4, 2017

Read Also: Are There More Democrats Or Republicans In The Us

0 notes

zorovevo · 3 years

Text

options trading discord Tennessee 29.

Overview

options trading discord Tennessee 1 means One option contract representing 100 shares of PKT.

best options trading alerts Tennessee The key is trying to get a deeper understanding of the risk associated with the position, what option factors influence (time, volatility, stock price movement) it and how.

options trading picks Tennessee For example, they could come out and say that will not have their results ready and change the announcement date to something else.

best options trading alerts Tennessee What is a Call Option and how to trade them?

naked options trading service Tennessee Learning or getting information on how to trade Puts starts with the above and looking at an example of a put contract.

options trading daily newsletter Tennessee Learning or getting information on how to trade Puts starts with the above and looking at an example of a put contract.

best options trading course review Tennessee Is There Liquidity Risk?

options trading for income Tennessee For winning trades, look into why the trade won and possible ways you could have even profited more.

options trading discord Tennessee Again, near-term options have the potential from being deep OTM to deep ITM very quickly (and vice-versa).

60 x the multiplier of 100 shares = $4,860However, the option investor is only willing to risk $1,000 on the position on a $50,000 portfolio. They will buy back the spread for a loss if it gets close to $1. 05. On 7/31/14, the UVXY exploded. moving up more than 16% and closed at $31. 70. The investor felt that this was a good time to sell some premium as the UVXY has a history of sharp moves up followed by sharp declines. Well, on 8/1/14, UVXY continued to climb higher as fears escalated both geopolitically and within the US equity market. It finished the day up nearly 10% and closed at $34. 73. The value of the spread closed at $0. 93. Although the investor was looking at a paper loss of $720, they decided to get out of the position. if UVXY gapped up on the following Monday, it would probably get past the amount they were willing to lose. (Note: UVXY is a product I wouldn't personally sell call spreads on. I'll explain my reason a little bit later. )Now, when I typically short premium via structured trades.

but no longer in the position. The same could be said for those who sell weekly options on Thursday or Friday. the options have the potential to move very quickly. if you're sized up too much.

Critical Theories:

best service for options trading Tennessee

asx options trading Tennessee

best options trading analysis program Tennessee

credit spread options trading Tennessee

how to options trading Tennessee Their goal is to get out of the position when the premium of the spread reaches $0.

Their goal is to get out of the position when the premium of the spread reaches $0.

trading options advice stop loss Tennessee However, they wasted all there bullets without any room for error.

You have to continue playing the market from all angles. If you are a market conformist (you tend to go with the trend), you can try a contrarian strategy. If you usually close out credit spreads, try keeping one open while legging in an OTM put option. Experiment and continue to tweak out your strategyOne great tip is to create 2 identical trades. One in your regular account and the other in your paper trading account at the same time. Then you can make experimental adjustments to your paper account over time and see how it fairs against the live account. This is a nifty way you can test different strategies while having a baseline. 5. Choose an Option Trade That You Love and Master ItA great way to improve your options trading is by mastering a bread and butter trade. Learn all the ins and outs of your practice by back-testing historical data, testing current conditions using paper trades, and reading about your favorite trade in books. When you completely understand the intricacies of your go-to trade, then you'll be able to better recognize situations and markets that your trade will flourish in. In turn, you'll receive a higher probability of success and profit. The key is to stick to a basic trade like an iron condor or credit spread. No advanced layered trades. 6. Stick To Your Trading PlanAll successful traders have a trading plan. This means, they have a strategy to get into a trade, make adjustments, and exit positions based on SPECIFIC events. Successful traders DO NOT make random decisions. Everything they do is calculated, measured, and analyzed. You can make an easy-to-follow trading formula based on technical analysis if you want to as well. 7. Wait For OpportunitiesThis is a huge problem for novice traders. It was even an issue for me when I started trading. I would have a few stocks on my watchlist that I wanted to get into, but knew it wasn't the right time. And then when I'm not looking the stock takes off. On a few occasions, I have actually chased stocks that eventually turned against me. These types of situations hurt in 2 ways: 1) dents your ego and 2) dents your portfolio balance. If you have the same issues, don't fret. Luckily, it's been well documented that more often than not, solid annual portfolio performance is often caused by having a strong exit plan. 8. Document and Learn From Your Previous TradesEvery trade is a learning experience.

options trading spreadsheet download Tennessee This means, they have a strategy to get into a trade, make adjustments, and exit positions based on SPECIFIC events.

However, I understand that some of you have a little bit more risk tolerance than me.

trading qqq options Tennessee I know that if option volatility isn't elevated (or rich).

I won't hesitate to let them know if they're taking on too much risk and sizing poorly. Of course, some listen. but others will still size up to big.

trading stocks vs options Tennessee Exercise the Contract - Market declined, so you buy the stock at the lower price and exercise the contract to sell it at 40 and make your profit.

When you completely understand the intricacies of your go-to trade, then you'll be able to better recognize situations and markets that your trade will flourish in. In turn, you'll receive a higher probability of success and profit. The key is to stick to a basic trade like an iron condor or credit spread. No advanced layered trades. 6. Stick To Your Trading PlanAll successful traders have a trading plan. This means, they have a strategy to get into a trade, make adjustments, and exit positions based on SPECIFIC events. Successful traders DO NOT make random decisions. Everything they do is calculated, measured, and analyzed. You can make an easy-to-follow trading formula based on technical analysis if you want to as well. 7. Wait For OpportunitiesThis is a huge problem for novice traders. It was even an issue for me when I started trading. I would have a few stocks on my watchlist that I wanted to get into, but knew it wasn't the right time. And then when I'm not looking the stock takes off. On a few occasions, I have actually chased stocks that eventually turned against me. These types of situations hurt in 2 ways: 1) dents your ego and 2) dents your portfolio balance. If you have the same issues, don't fret. Luckily, it's been well documented that more often than not, solid annual portfolio performance is often caused by having a strong exit plan. 8. Document and Learn From Your Previous TradesEvery trade is a learning experience. Don't focus solely on losing trades, but also look at your winners. There is always something you can learn. For losing trades, look into why the trade lost or possible ways you could have prevented it from happening. Analyze your entry, the adjustments you made, the exit, and the overall market behavior. For winning trades, look into why the trade won and possible ways you could have even profited more.

options trading crash course pdf Tennessee The key to getting the relative sizing correctly is understanding the risks associated with the position.

The max risk on this trade at expiration is $4,860. 00 (the value of the spread minus the premium collected multiplied by the number of contracts times the multiplier). $3 - $0. 57= $2. 43 x 20 = $48. 60 x the multiplier of 100 shares = $4,860However, the option investor is only willing to risk $1,000 on the position on a $50,000 portfolio.

options trading course torrent download Tennessee However, when some tell me their profits, relative to their account size.

sold call spreads in UVXY. UVXY is the PROSHARES Ultra VIX Short-Term Futures ETF. It attempts to replicate, net of expenses, twice the return of the S&P 500 VIX Short-Term Futures index for a single day. On 7/31/14, UVXY was trading at $31. 70. Let's assume on that day an option investor sold 20 $36/$39 call spreads (expiring 8/8/14). collecting a premium of $0. 57 or a total $1140 (minus fees and commissions). Their goal is to get out of the position when the premium of the spread reaches $0. 29. in which they would be buying back the spread for a profit of $560. Taking profits at 50% of the premium collected is a great level to exit. as outlined in my previous article. The max risk on this trade at expiration is $4,860. 00 (the value of the spread minus the premium collected multiplied by the number of contracts times the multiplier).

Ideal Plans:

the best advisory service for swing trading options Tennessee

trading options for beginners Tennessee

options trading example Tennessee

online course in options trading Tennessee

0 notes

where2next · 4 years

Text

Time vs. Money: The Age Old Question for Travel and for Life

At the end of my college career, I knew I wanted to see the world. I had already gone to India on two separate occasions and had fallen in love with the idea of seeing different cultures and how other people live. However, I was keenly aware of the fact that I would be graduating from college with a mountain of debt and I would soon be starting a job that would require 40+ hours of my time every week in order to live and to pay off that debt. It was during this time of acute awareness that a dear friend and I had a conversation that would fundamentally change the way I decided to live the rest of my life. We were discussing life after college, specifically having to start paying off college loans. I posed this question to him: Did he think it more prudent to pay off loans as quickly as possible and not spend any money or to pay the minimum to the loans knowing he would pay more in the long run, but freeing up some money in the process to do the things that he wanted to do? His answer was something to the effect of, “It’s not like life ever gets any less busy. You should have experiences now when you know you have the time to do it. You don’t know if you will have that in the future.” What he touched on was a fundamental truth. I had been viewing my life in dollars and cents, but I had been ignoring an even more important aspect: the value of my time.

Understanding the Trade Off

Well all get exactly 24 hours to spend every day. Nor more, no less. Though this is something that is freely given us, it is ultimately up to us how we spend it. Money as well, while it is usually not given to us freely, is a resource for us to use to help build the types of lives we want. There is also a strange relationship between time and money as they are often seen as opposing forces. Almost everyone invests their time in order to make money, but they also use that money to buy back their time. For example, have you ever paid for a bus ride, an Uber, or for gas in your car in order to get someplace because it’s faster than walking? That is one simple example of how people use their money to buy back their time. Rich people buy back their time constantly with housekeepers to clean their homes, groundskeepers to do their yard work, cooks to prepare their meals, and even drivers to free them up while they are on the road. They understand that they only get 24 hours a day so they try to free up as much of that time as possible to do what makes them rich in the first place.

You need to budget

We can use this same principle to help us plan our travels. Unfortunately, traveling requires you spending both of these precious commodities. You can only take so much time off of work and you can only save up so much money for your travels when you have bills to pay. This is where budgeting comes in and what I have built my entire lifestyle around. However, it is not enough to just budget your money, you have to budget your time just as well if not better. Only have a short time for vacation? Work out a schedule with your boss where you can stay late Monday-Thursday and take Friday off. Do you not get any vacation pay at all? See if you can pick up some overtime shifts that will cover the money that you would be making during your travel. The point is not to accept the status quo and to push against it in order to achieve your goals. With proper budgeting, you can create a lot of opportunities that you previously thought were unattainable, even being able to travel every year.

Comfort vs. Risk

The next step you need to go through is assessing your risk tolerance and your desire for comfort. Some people just want a comfortable vacation to take them away from all stress and worry so for them it is worth paying more money in order to attain this. For others, they want to experience as much as they can on as little money as possible. However, this usually means they also need to invest more of their time. An easy example of this is someone who decides to take a bus to the next city which costs them $50 but takes 8 hours when they could have gotten there by plane in less than 2 hours but it would have cost them $200. Several of us who are used to budget travel also know fully well that you can take one of the nice charter buses or for half the price, you can take a local bus that may not have the amenities, but gets you to your destination in the same amount of time. This is how travelers like us sacrifice comfort in order to stretch our dollars and to be able to travel longer and to more places. You also have to think about your amount of risk. Many times it is worth getting a cheaper hotel or hostel, however, sometimes this puts you in a part of town that you should not be in, in which case it is not worth the money savings. You always need to be vigilant about your safety when traveling and sometimes the risk is too great. On the other hand, putting yourself in slightly uncomfortable situations is where growth and adventure are born and if you never take any risks, you will be missing out on that key aspect of traveling. But if you want to stay in nice hotels and would rather fly than be on a long bus ride, that is fine too! As long as you understand the tradeoffs you are making and are good with those decisions, you will have an enjoyable experience.

The benefits of traveling on small budgets

Once you are used to budgeting both your money and your time, there are a myriad of benefits that you will be reaping. Spending your time and money more efficiently means you can spend less of each on your travels without sacrificing your enjoyment of those experiences. Spending less time and money on your trips just means you will be able to travel more often or to more remote places than you would have been able to before. Budgeting also tends to keep you away from the tourist traps and more immersed in the culture. If you’re going where things are cheaper, you will be going closer to where the locals live. This has led our crew to some amazing impromptu experiences like a lunch cooked up by some new friends on a locals beach where we were the only people around. You get many more opportunities to actually meet people and to truly understand how they live. Finally, traveling on a budget puts you in growth situations. You will have to do good research and plan ahead in order to get the best flights and to get an idea of what the highlights are in the area you will be exploring. You will have to learn how to haggle and often in a different language. You will have to learn how to connect with people in order to get help with directions or simply to better understand them and the area. All of these things will help to make you a more well rounded person and will give you the tools to successfully navigate the globe.

Bottom Line

Though we all have limited amounts of time and money, we can learn to spend them more wisely in order to attain the lives that we want to live. With good time management and budgeting, we can finally travel to those places we have always wanted to see but have never been able to get to. We can also discover agency in ourselves by putting ourselves in growth situations which help our budgets, connect us to people, give us new experiences, and ultimately enrich our lives. Get out there and explore!

#travel #worldtravel #budget travel #time budgeting #time management #time vs money

0 notes

aikungfu · 4 years

Link

President Donald Trump is reportedly expected to issue an order compelling social media app TikTok to sell its US operations. | Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Trump says he isn’t banning the app — for now — because he’s open to having Microsoft buy it instead.

President Trump won’t try to ban TikTok in the US — at least for now. On Monday, he reversed his stance on the wildly popular video streaming app and said in a White House press briefing that instead of banning it, he would allow a US-based company to purchase the app.

“I don’t mind if — whether it is Microsoft or someone else — a big company, a secure company, a very American company, buys it,” said Trump about TikTok. Trump also warned that TikTok will be “out of business in the United States” by September 15 if the company doesn’t reach a deal to sell by then.

Though TikTok, which is owned by the Chinese company ByteDance, is best known as a place where teens share short, often lighthearted musical videos, it has become the center of geopolitical controversy between the US and China over technological power.

For months, Trump and other bipartisan politicians have periodically raised concerns about TikTok as a potential national security threat, worrying that the app’s Chinese parent company could censor content in the US or access American users’ sensitive data at the behest of the Chinese Communist Party.

The company has vehemently denied these accusations. But reports last year showed a lack of TikTok content about subjects controversial with the Chinese government — such as videos of the Hong Kong protests. These reports have fueled US government suspicions that the company is influenced by the Chinese government, particularly as China has been expanding its surveillance state in recent years and US-China diplomatic relations have become more strained.

Over the past few days, TikTok reentered the spotlight when Trump told reporters on Friday evening that he planned to ban the app effective “immediately” — saying he would do so using emergency economic powers or an executive order.

But getting rid of an app used by some 100 million Americans isn’t easy, even if you’re the president. According to a New York Times report, after Trump’s advisers convinced him that an executive action to ban TikTok would face severe legal and political consequences, Trump agreed that instead of issuing a ban, he would allow the tech giant Microsoft to continue its previous talks to buy TikTok, which had reportedly been in the works for weeks. Since Microsoft is a US-based company, the idea is that if Microsoft took control, it would ensure all of TikTok’s user data is stored in the US, secure from the potentially prying eyes of the Chinese government. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella talked to Trump about it over the weekend, according to a Microsoft blog post published on Saturday evening, and has agreed to work out a deal — or not — by September 15.

Here’s a rundown of the recent controversy surrounding TikTok and what’s expected to happen next:

TikTok’s political troubles

TikTok has faced intense political scrutiny for months now, long before Trump’s latest call for a ban.

Republicans have escalated their attacks on TikTok this summer, with some bipartisan support from Democrats as well. Last Thursday, Sens. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) and Josh Hawley (R-MO) sent a letter to the Justice Department demanding that the agency open an investigation into TikTok and Zoom over reported violations of “Americans’ civil liberties” and national security concerns about relationships between these companies and China. This followed statements in July from Trump and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who both said the Trump administration was considering banning TikTok altogether.

For the past year, it’s been thought that the app has been under government review for national security reasons. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin confirmed this last week, and said he’s expecting the review to conclude soon. The government committee in charge of this review, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS), has the power to recommend the president force TikTok to sell to a US company.

Even if Trump doesn’t issue a full ban, a government decision that forces TikTok’s parent company to sell it off would be a game changer for the social media industry, and would threaten to disrupt the app’s extraordinary popularity. And for established social media giants Facebook and Google, the decision could significantly weaken their fiercest new competitor.

A forced sale of TikTok could have negative consequences beyond the people running TikTok, too. The move threatens to jeopardize the success of an app that’s had a meteoric rise from a relative underdog to one of the most downloaded apps in the world. And since TikTok is one of the only recent social media startups to compete with tech giants like Facebook, weakening TikTok could further concentrate power among a few tech giants in the US.

“While we do not comment on rumors or speculation, we are confident in the long-term success of TikTok,” a spokesperson for TikTok told Recode on Friday, adding the company is “committed to protecting their privacy and safety as we continue working to bring joy to families and meaningful careers to those who create on our platform.”

How a sale would work

You may be asking how Trump can force a company as popular as TikTok to sell itself, or go so far as to try to ban it. The answer is complicated and bureaucratic.

To force a sale, Trump could issue an order for ByteDance to divest from TikTok through CFIUS, an interagency committee that reviews foreign acquisitions and investments in US businesses that can threaten national security. The committee, chaired by Mnuchin, has the power to block or reverse mergers and acquisitions involving US and foreign companies.

Increasingly, the agency has been exercising its authority over foreign-owned tech companies operating in the US. Last year, CFIUS helped block one of the biggest deals in tech history, after Trump followed its recommendations to stop Singapore-based Broadcom from acquiring the US semiconductor company Qualcomm. The committee also forced Chinese owners to divest from the dating app Grindr and the health startup PatientsLikeMe.

But as Brookings Institution fellow Geoffrey Gertz has written, tech companies weren’t always the target of CFIUS. In the past, the committee “tended to focus on companies with military or intelligence connections,” but more recently, personal data and high-tech intellectual property have become a bigger focus for the committee.

Last year, CFIUS started investigating ByteDance, which had purchased the Chinese-owned lip-sync video platform Musical.ly in 2017 and then rebranded and launched a similar app in the US under the name TikTok. When that investigation comes to a close, the committee’s recommendations will reportedly lead to Trump’s order for ByteDance to sell TikTok or divest its US operations.

It’s unclear how CFIUS would enforce a potential unwinding of ByteDance and TikTok, but last year, the committee issued a $1 million fine to an undisclosed company for not following through on a mitigation agreement, its first penalty of that kind. It could also fine TikTok — or Trump could just continue to dangle the threat of banning TikTok altogether, no matter how legally or politically contentious that would be.

In a press briefing on Monday, Trump said that whoever ends up owning TikTok should pay the Treasury department of the US government a “substantial amount of money” as part of the deal. As some have pointed out, including Axios’s Dan Primack, Trump’s comments could be “skating very close to announcing extortion.” It’s not immediately clear how Trump would try to ensure the US government gets a cut of the sale or whether it’s even legal to do that.

What comes next

If Microsoft or another major US company does purchase TikTok, it’s likely that TikTok as we know it would remain largely unchanged.

TikTok is a valuable brand in a lucrative industry with a massive, devoted user base — so for Microsoft, buying TikTok would be an opportunity to seriously compete with other major tech companies like Facebook and Google in the social media space.

Microsoft also has experience when it comes to purchasing already successful companies and allowing them to retain their independence — as it did when it acquired the platform for software developers, GitHub, in 2018, and the video game Minecraft in 2014.

Depending on how Microsoft chooses to run TikTok — if it acquires it — the app could continue to grow, and with the backing of a major US tech company, it might more seriously take on other social media companies, including Facebook. Microsoft isn’t the only potential buyer — other firms could try to buy TikTok or share ownership. Reportedly, Microsoft may invite outside investors to join them in the deal, according to the Wall Street Journal.

It’s too soon to say what impact a sale would have on the app’s popularity and growth. But in the meantime, there are plenty of Clippy jokes to make.

On Monday, a spokesperson for TikTok told Recode in a statement that the company is “committed to continuing to bring joy to families and meaningful careers to those who create on our platform as we build TikTok for the long term. TikTok will be here for many years to come.”

Update, August 3, 3:05 pm ET: This article has been updated to include new comments from President Trump and new reporting about ongoing negotiations between Microsoft and TikTok.

Support Vox’s explanatory journalism

Every day at Vox, we aim to answer your most important questions and provide you, and our audience around the world, with information that has the power to save lives. Our mission has never been more vital than it is in this moment: to empower you through understanding. Vox’s work is reaching more people than ever, but our distinctive brand of explanatory journalism takes resources — particularly during a pandemic and an economic downturn. Your financial contribution will not constitute a donation, but it will enable our staff to continue to offer free articles, videos, and podcasts at the quality and volume that this moment requires. Please consider making a contribution to Vox today.

from Vox - Recode https://ift.tt/33mtGzz via A.I .Kung Fu

#Blogger

0 notes

zorovevo · 3 years

Text

best options trading membership sites Tennessee 73.

Thematic Study

best options trading membership sites Tennessee The key is trying to get a deeper understanding of the risk associated with the position, what option factors influence (time, volatility, stock price movement) it and how.

trading spy options Tennessee Learning to trade puts or understanding them starts with market direction and what you have paid for the option.

options trading course tradewins pdf Tennessee )Now, when I typically short premium via structured trades.

best options trading membership sites Tennessee Today, I want to talk to you about another major blunder new (and even experienced) investors make.

options trading online course Tennessee In anticipation, traders start buying and selling options in the contract month the announcement will be made.

options volatility trading Tennessee 43 x 20 = $48.

options stock trading picks Tennessee If you notice, it's the same analysis for both types of trades.

options trading subscription service Tennessee If you don't think you need on-going options trading education and assistance, ask yourself these questions:� Why do professional athletes have coaches?

best options trading membership sites Tennessee You are bearish on the shares or perhaps the sector that the company is in.

Simply learn and use the basics like MACD, support/resistance, trending channels, divergence/convergence, and moving averages. 4. Continue to Paper TradeJust because you are trading real money it doesn't mean you need to stop learning and trying out different strategies. You have to continue playing the market from all angles. If you are a market conformist (you tend to go with the trend), you can try a contrarian strategy. If you usually close out credit spreads, try keeping one open while legging in an OTM put option. Experiment and continue to tweak out your strategyOne great tip is to create 2 identical trades. One in your regular account and the other in your paper trading account at the same time. Then you can make experimental adjustments to your paper account over time and see how it fairs against the live account. This is a nifty way you can test different strategies while having a baseline. 5.

This increase in premiums allows for the investor to trade the option in the market for a profit. So you are not exercising the contract, but trading it back. The difference in the premium you paid and the premium it was sold for, will be your profit. The benefit for people looking to learn how to trade options or learn the basics of a trading strategy is you do not need to buy a stock outright to profit from it's increase with calls. What are Put Options?A put option is the reverse of a call contract. Puts allow the owner of the contract to SELL a stock at the strike price.

youtube

Important Practices:

classic options trading service reviews Tennessee

trading options research Tennessee

options trading tips Tennessee

pb code masterclass stock options trading course ryan coisson Tennessee

learning options trading Tennessee Learn all the ins and outs of your practice by back-testing historical data, testing current conditions using paper trades, and reading about your favorite trade in books.

Are you giving yourself enough margin for error when looking at the volatility?Over the last year, UVXY has had 23 (+/-) 10% single day moves or greater. In addition, option volatility can really take off in this ETF. For example, on 7/24/14 the 30-day option volatility in UVXY was 105. 3%. on 8/1/14 the 30-day option volatility was 158. 63%.

best course for futures and options trading Tennessee )Now, when I typically short premium via structured trades.

In 3 Ways To Keep More Profits & Know When To Sell, I explain the importance of closing out a position into strength.

live options trading course bay area Tennessee You are bearish when you buy or are long put options.

I'll take my profits. Too many times. traders will buy 20 or 30 contracts under the same risk parameters. see the options go to $0. 30 and get out. only to see the stock start moving in their direction. but no longer in the position. The same could be said for those who sell weekly options on Thursday or Friday. the options have the potential to move very quickly. if you're sized up too much. you'll be out of the trade with a loss before you even got a chance to see the idea play out. For longer term time frames you have to be more concerned about the volatility risk. A classic example is a biotech company that announces their drug results in a couple of weeks.

trading options course manhattan Tennessee I just wanted to mention my approach and what has worked for me.

Again, the investor in our example was probably thinking now is a good level to short some premium.

options trading systems Tennessee Choose an Option Trade That You Love and Master ItA great way to improve your options trading is by mastering a bread and butter trade.

Although the investor was looking at a paper loss of $720, they decided to get out of the position. if UVXY gapped up on the following Monday, it would probably get past the amount they were willing to lose. (Note: UVXY is a product I wouldn't personally sell call spreads on. I'll explain my reason a little bit later. )Now, when I typically short premium via structured trades.

omega options trading group Tennessee 93.

but no longer in the position. The same could be said for those who sell weekly options on Thursday or Friday. the options have the potential to move very quickly. if you're sized up too much. you'll be out of the trade with a loss before you even got a chance to see the idea play out. For longer term time frames you have to be more concerned about the volatility risk. A classic example is a biotech company that announces their drug results in a couple of weeks. In anticipation, traders start buying and selling options in the contract month the announcement will be made. Of course, option volatility rises due to the uncertainty of the outcome. Again, you almost have to treat these like binary trades as well. Even if you think you've got time on your options.

best stocks for options trading 2018 Tennessee Too many times.

by sizing my positions with the max risk already set in place. However, I understand that some of you have a little bit more risk tolerance than me. so I wanted to show you what else to consider when taking on more risk by sizing up. Obviously experience is the best teacher.

Important Techniques:

options trading alerts service Tennessee

options trading video Tennessee

options trading strategy Tennessee

exotic options trading Tennessee

0 notes

epacer · 4 years

Text

What’s On the Menu

San Diego Unified School District feeds kids across all economic backgrounds with grab-and-go items through summer break

By partnering with food banks and The Humane Society, the district’s director Gary Petill has been able to turn these drive-thrus into one-stop-shops for families during the pandemic.

Gary Petill, director of the food and nutrition services department for the San Diego Unified School District (SDUSD), has had an almost 20-year career in foodservice, following 20 years in the hotel business. He thought he had seen it all. At least that’s what he thought until the coronavirus pandemic hit.

After rounding up all perishable foods, Petill and his team became “entrepreneurs” by creating an entirely new grab-and-go business at 26 sites across the district where meals for students and families are served at drive-thru locations strategically placed to help both the high-income families and also the large amount of students who receive reduced, free or direct certification meals.

“We’re now serving 20 out of 21 meals in a week to our families,” said Petill of SDUSD’s grab-and-go program, which covers entire families, not only the children. By working with San Diego food banks and The Humane Society, Petill and his team have also been able to act as a “one -stop shop,” providing families with shelf-stable groceries, feminine hygiene products, school supplies and dog or cat food.

The district’s more than 200 schools shut down in March due to the coronavirus pandemic and remained closed throughout the end of the school year on June 9. The day before, Petill spoke with Food Management and laid out the district’s new plan for summer feeding.

Here’s his story:

“Even though we have a pandemic and everything else going on in our country, we can say it’s been challenging but it’s been an opportunity because we’ve never served meals like this before. We’re serving meals differently than we ever expected to do but the greatest thing is that people rise to the occasion when there’s an emergency situation and our team has been phenomenal in food services and also the district who supports us.

We started on March 16, which was a Monday, and we found out on Friday the 13 of March that schools would be closed on the sixteenth and had to figure out how would we start to serve our kids. So we met that afternoon and removed food from over 200 kitchens to bring to our warehouse, which were mostly all perishables like fruits and vegetables from our local farmers, and we started on Monday with eight locations. We’ve now expanded to 26 over a short period of time.

We’ve had 26 locations for the last couple of months, but the first round was eight schools and all the food that came out of the schools. We made chicken Caesar salad, sandwiches and we utilized the food we had so that we didn’t waste any food in our kitchens. You should have seen our warehouse, it was unbelievable. Hundreds of cases of lettuce and apples and oranges, but it took two weeks and we used all of that food. Then we, of course, started to order food as well to back that up, which was a little bit of a challenge with the food chain at first, to get the products, as far as the amount, because everybody was ordering food too.

We bought from Sysco, that’s our main prime vendor, but we also bought from some other companies that we had never bought from before. We also got an emergency purchase order done right away through the district. In fact, our superintendent was there with me from day one and the first couple of weeks visiting our prep kitchen and our local sites. [Feeding the kids] was the main concern, more than the distant learning process because that took more time, we came into action the first weekend. Cindy Marten [superintendent of public education for SDUSD] was there to support us along with some of our board members and the big push was to make sure we’re reaching out to all of the kids who are free or reduced or on direct certification.

This program that we’re serving right now, any kids up to 18 years of age can get food along with their parents. These are grab-and-go drive-thru stations that we have set up at various locations throughout the city of San Diego and we really had to look hard at where the families lived. Not necessarily where they went to school, but where they lived, to find a school closest to them to set up these grab-and-go serving sites.

Immediately, on that Friday [March 13], I contacted the food banks, Feeding San Diego and the Food Bank of San Diego, to drop off shelf-stable groceries for a family of four for a week. This was along with the meals of breakfast and lunch and evening meals that we were serving. As time went on after a couple of weeks, we expanded to weekend meals that we would serve on Thursday for Saturday and Friday for Sunday, so they’d be getting four meals on Thursdays and Fridays. We’re now serving 20 out of 21 meals in a week to our families.

School ended yesterday for the traditional schools…and this is our summer program right now. We’re maintaining those 26 locations with the Food Bank and Feeding San Diego and we’ve also brought on the Humane Society with their location of PAWS, that’s been sending me dog and cat food every week. So, what we’ve become, is a one-stop shop. People can pick up their meals, a family of four can pick up their shelf-stable meals at food banks, they can get their dog and cat food and we even have feminine hygiene products once a month on Mondays. We also have some school supplies and instructional material. They’re all at our food stations because we became the one-stop-shop for everybody.

Our normal summer, we are working with the city of San Diego’s park and rec centers where we deliver food where kids are going swimming, camping, activities, a safe place for families to drop their kids off. That’s not happening this year as of yet.

We normally partner with the circus, people-only, at the kickoff that includes acrobats and tight-rope walkers. But this year, we got them to perform at the sites so there’s entertainment as the kids and parents are waiting in their cars and they’re going to do that for the rest of the summer, which I think will be really fun. We want to make this fun for kids and their families because everything is so difficult and hard for everyone right now, we’ve got to throw some fun into this.

We have five kitchens that are operating to prepare meals. We have 26 locations that are serving the meals and we have a support staff that some are working remotely, some are in the field. I want to have people working as remote as possible because I think it’s less chance of picking up COVID-19.

We are having all the people who signed up prior to COVID-19 to work the summer because these people who work at the kitchens or at parks and rec or serving our kids during the summer, they sign up ahead of time, which they did before COVID-19 and we are able to bring them all back for this. We’re bringing them back for two sessions and our district also has hazard pay. Right now, it’s up through June 30 where everyone gets time and a half for each hour if you’re working outside. If you’re working remotely, you don’t get it, but if you’re working in a kitchen or a serving location, they are getting hazard pay, which is really great.

Most of our people are 10-month workers, which would have ended today, but we are continuing to employ them throughout the summer. We’re going to need them, and we want to continue to support them and make sure their families are good and they’re able to financially survive because these are not the highest paying jobs in the world. So if we can keep them employed, it will be good for all of us in the long run when we can open school in some kind of way. Which, of course, hasn’t been determined yet.

For our kindergarten through eighth grade, we’re coming up with these things called superhero cafés. So, on the lunch areas where kids sit that are basically long picnic tables at 14 feet long, we’re looking at getting decals of superheroes and putting them on the seats themselves so the kids can sit next to their superhero character and be physically distanced from the next kid sitting on the other side.

One thing about COVID-19 is that it makes you create things, you become an entrepreneur. It’s like starting a new business. It’s exciting for me having 20 years in the hotel business before 18 years in the school business, it’s really, I hate to say it, a lot of fun to create innovative ways to serve our kids. Our team is on board and they realize none of this is easy but together, we can do it.” *Reposted article from Food Management online blog by Holly Petre of June 24, 2020

0 notes

maya20017-blog · 4 years

Text

Reflection and Summary of weeks 2 and 3

Monday 17th

On day one of the drawing exercises we were introduced to the project and the medium that we would be using primarily, charcoal. I also named my plant Fergus. After doing a warm up to allow us to become familiar with the medium we drew our breath in a very freeing and mindful exercise. We then focused on using continuous line drawing to translate our plants for the first time on paper in a series of 12 short guided drawings. We ended the day by doing an A4 drawing with closer careful observation along with the introduction of the idea of annotative drawings.

Today I reconnected with charcoal and drawing. I was apprehensive at first but as soon as we started, I started enjoying myself. I found the continuous line drawing challenging in the sense that I was tempted to lift up my piece of charcoal and absentmindedly I did sometimes. I found it tough to stick to the short time constraints that were allotted for each of the 12 drawings. Through this though I learnt that I need to work faster, and that faster does not mean careless.

I chose the above drawing because I feel that it captures my growing confidence throughout the exercise. As time went on my lines got darker as I felt more certain of my mark making while still staying sensitive.

Tuesday 18th

Today we revisited our breath drawing from the previous day, working over it with more charcoal and then with our hands and erasers (reductive mark making). We then drew our plant quickly over the breath drawing. This was an introduction into drawing on top of a layer instead of a blank background. We then explored making tonal marks with the charcoal. Following on from this exercise we made an observational drawing using tonal mapping and no outlines. On the second half of the page we looked at composition and negative space. For our A4 drawing we had to start off with a medium tone across the entire page and then work additively with darker charcoal marks and reductively with an eraser.

I really found value in today’s class. Being introduced to working on a background of either previous drawings or a page of medium tone eliminated ‘the blank page’ that I find intimidating to start drawing on.

I have chosen my A4 drawing below as I really enjoyed working on a background and I found creating the highlights came across more effectively than previous drawings.

Thursday 20th

Today we started off blindfolded. We were tasked with exploring a piece of newsprint and work the page into something that embodies our plant. We were given the choice of removing the blind fold after a certain amount of time but I chose to keep it on and use touch as my way of exploring the page. I was playing with the idea that the newsprint used to be alive, as a plant while trying to incorporate my plant. We were then told (much to my dismay) that we now had to draw our creation with graphite. I found this very challenging as I am not confident drawing man-made objects and I felt like I ended up with a formless blob. We then moved onto working with clay. I enjoyed getting my hands really dirty and immersing myself into ‘the earth’. We then had to give up control by drawing our clay creations with a clear glue stick. This I found both freeing as we could not see what we were doing but also tense for the same reason. Then using charcoal dust, we brought our drawings into the world of the visual. I was not entirely happy with how my drawing came out in the end.

I chose to show my ‘blob’ of a page drawing in graphite. This was a hard one for me and I felt like I really struggled and was constantly judging myself.

Friday 21st

Today we looked at a new medium, ink. We started off by creating a tonal scale with the three tones of ink we mixed. We then explored the types of marks that different tools could make. We then listened to the songs that we each sent through the previous night, interpreting the song through different tools, tones and mark making. At a point in the song we were then told to start looking at our plant and bring it across while still creating the same types of marks for that particular song. Initially I found it hard to vary the type of marks I was making but I got into it and found I particularly enjoyed using the stick. I started using my whole body, or trying to, which had been the instruction for the exercise. I ended up with ten across five pages. As time went on, I found that the results become more and more interesting.

We reflected on the days session by doing an A4 drawing using ink and any of the tools we had used during the day. I wanted to use the stick again. I really tried to focus on using the stick to make marks rather than draw with it like a pencil. This was fun and I had the image of traditional Chinese paintings and the way the artists use paint brushes as mark makers rather than the way I’ve traditionally used paintbrushes.

I like how after the day’s exercises I was open to experimenting with the last A4 drawing in a way that I would not normally have felt comfortable to do.

Monday 24th

Today we continued our exploration with ink. We started with a quick drawing of our plant on the A4 multimedia paper that we’ve been using for our end of session drawings. We were looking closely at the shifts in tonal range. I struggled with the fastness that was expected for this drawing again. We then paired up with the person opposite us. We each had to bring a secret object with us to draw next to our plant. We sat back to back and then described our object in detail without identifying the object to our partner without them seeing it so that they could draw it. I found out I am a better listener that describer, as my drawing was more accurate due to my partners comprehensive explanation. Then in silence we had to tie our hands together and we had to navigate drawing both of our plants at the same time in silence while tied to each other (as well as using an unusual tool we bought form home). We the returned to our own work spaces and drew both our own plant and object as well as our partners.

I found this whole day very challenging. I was having personal problems at the time and felt very out of control in myself and therefore really struggled to let go of control on so many different levels in one class. My tool was giving me problems as a shell isn’t very good at hold ink. I felt very stressed while using it. As a result, the last drawing we did that day, the individual one, we were told to use our tool we brought from home and then only later incorporating a paint brush. I however couldn’t face that and so decided I would just use a paint brush for the whole drawing.

Tuesday 25th

I was absent on this day. I drew the still life of the plants together at home from a photograph. I found this difficult as the drawing ended up looking quite flat. I really struggled to keep motivated and interested while doing this drawing. I think that after drawing from life for the past two weeks drawing from a photograph was a bit dull.

Thursday 27th

Today we started with a flow of consciousness writing exercise. I found this exercise interesting as I got to see my train of thoughts and how fast they were flowing. We then looked at our three pages highlighting any words that jumped out at us. This was interesting to revisit our thought flow after a short break. We then looked through the contextual research we had to do for our plant doing the same thing, highlighting things which we felt were important. Up until that point I didn’t really take much notice of the research. I didn’t take any of it in except for a very surface level of understanding.

We then started working on a mind map using the three starting points of each of our conscious writing pages; drawing is, I am, my plant… we added the phrases and words we had highlighted and then expend on those ideas making connections between the three mind maps (on one page). After this exercise I felt like I had developed more of a connection with my plant.

We then chose the two song drawings we liked least from the 21st and had to rip them up as well as our conscious flow pages from earlier. At first I was hesitant but I learnt to just go with the flow after a while. We were instructed to piece together the torn-up pages into something that resembles our plant/plant life that seems to be growing and alive without giving it a fixed shape. This was fun and fast-paced and quite explosive in nature, and looking at the end result I can clearly see those dynamic qualities coming across. I then worked more into mine with some writing and a bit of drawing to bring my plant into it.

Friday 28th

The last day of the class exercises. We were asked to send a video clip that we wanted to share with our plant the night before. Today we were going to be drawing from fast moving image (videos) on a projection from everyone’s clips. The challenge was to work quickly. To capture something that caught our eye or left an impression. Layering up the drawings. I felt quite daunted by this prospect but as we started, I fell into the drawing. It was a constant balance between adding to something you had and losing what you liked about the drawing and then trying to find it again. It was interesting everybody’s different approach and I ended up falling in love with my finished drawing.

The idea was to create a background for us to then add our plant into. I found this challenging as I felt that my drawing was almost complete without my plant.

I was quite amazed at how much I enjoyed this exercise. I liked working bigger than we had been previously and the loose gestural lines that were created from drawing from a moving subject matter.

Artist that uses drawing as primary medium

Ellen Gallagher

Morphia, 2008

Ink, pencil, watercolour, varnish and cut paper on paper

I chose this artist because I respond well to the visual elements of her work. The overall mood that is created is very calming to me. I chose this particular artwork because the mixed media and sensitivity of the work that connect with me and the seamless integration of the added material is inspiring. This is something I would like to explore myself.

Artist who works with plants and or environmental concerns

Andy Goldsworthy

Pebbles around hole

1956

What first caught my eye was the absolute symmetry, order and perfect colour gradient in his work. in, normally, wild and untamed nature. Such clean lines are unexpected in nature and the result of them is very pleasing to the eye. There is beauty in that untamed wildness, however I think humans are also drawn to the flawless precision that comes with development and the pathological need to interfere and control. I feel that the message of enhancing the natural beauty of nature, not detracting from it is important but also contradictory to my feelings as I almost feel guilty for liking this work so much because humans should not be interfering with nature, trying to make it ‘more beautiful’. It I nature. It is natural. It is beautiful.

0 notes

morganhazelwood · 6 years

Text

2017 Retrospective

2017 was a year unlike any other. For a lot of people, it was scary, stressful, and a struggle to get through. But that’s not all it was.

I may not have ended my year with a signed agent, but I definitely made some forward progress.

I queried 31 agents, attended 2 writing conventions (including my 1st trip to Europe!), finished my second novel, wrote a third novel, and revised my first novel twice, (then edited it twice, cause you kinda got to after revising). I even got an R&R (Revise and resubmit) request from one agent!

Between Balticon and WorldCon: Helsinki, I hit 29 panels, 6 workshops, 2 presentations, 2 book launches, and 2 autograph signings. (Despite mostly having to queue up an hour before each Worldcon panel!) Plus, I met up with/made 3, no, 4 new writing friends in person. 🙂 And that doesn’t include the dozens of new friends I chat with weekly.

That all sounds pretty impressive! But, let’s look at the numbers.

My Writing Goals Last Year

I made sure to set SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and time-bound) goals.

By January 12th of last year, I was already starting to slip. But I didn’t give up.

Here are my admittedly mediocre results.

2017 Goals

☑ Edit my first novel with editor ☑ Finish rough draft of my second novel [minimum 5k a week until done] – Knocked this out quickly!

☒ Edit my second novel [minimum 50 pages a week] — Nope. Didn’t touch it. ☒ Send my second novel to beta readers — Nope. ☒ Write a short story —HaHaHa. Well, did this in October and December, instead. ☑ Attend Balticon

☒ Revise my second novel [Notecards, rip to shreds, rebuild] — Nope ☑ Attend some-other con – Like WORLDCON!

☑ Plan my third novel – I did! ☑ NaNoWriMo my third novel [writing 50-75k words] – I finished the rough draft at just over 51k. ☑ Revise my first novel or my second novel as needed ☑ Keep querying? or R&R if requested? – Had FEEDBACK from a reject letter about my opening chapter, with what I believe was a R&R, so I worked on that.

Monthly Goals

■ Post 1 book review on Amazon/GoodReads – Fell short. Overall, I reviewed 5.5 books (the last review didn’t go up until this year) and ranked 25 books.

■ Submit 3 Queries for both my first novel and picture book- Fell short. Overall though, I queried 31 agents, which was only 5 short of my target. If you ignore that I’m combining totals from both books’s queries…

Morgan in a “Burr Shot First” shirt, holding a book on “The Guide To Literary Agents” and the print-out of her latest draft shrugging and wondering if she should query again.

Morgan smiling at the camera with the river at Thingvellar behind her

WorldCon panel, featuring George RR Martin

Morgan in a red top, showing the crowd at George RR Martin’s panel