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#I didn't have much motivation through this
theriverbeyond · 3 days
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Ok so a part of the NtN epilogue that has always bugged me is how Alecto very specifically doesn't know who Harrow is until she bites kisses her and tastes her blood
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Which on its own wouldn't necessarily mean much, except that Harrow is shown repeatedly to look almost exactly like Anastasia, and Alecto-in-her-aspect-as-Nona is shown to be very observant and aware of physical features. It's not, like, a vision issue, after waking up Alecto immediately recognizes Pyrrha, and knows the general features of Harrow i.e. "black-eyed infant". And in her aspect as Nona, she is keenly observant of physical features. She waxes poetic about all the little ways Honesty and Pyrrha's red hair differs from Kiriona's, and more than that, she immediately recognizes Kiriona's corpse as the girl from her dream. So why doesn't she recognize Harrow?
The other Lyctors recognize Harrow. The first thing Augustine says upon meeting her is: "Harrowhark the First—ninth saint, then, looking at you I can tell that’s appropriate", and then in the same scene he calls her "Anastasia come again." Mercymorn insults her ("You're not as pretty as Anastasia") but in that insult, she again emphasizes the physical similarity between Harrow and Anastasia. These statements are way more significant when you remember in this scene, Harrow has just woken up after travel through the River, and is still wearing a hospital gown. no black vestments, no Ninth Aesthetics, the only things really "Ninth" about her are her physical features.
And the first thing Alecto does after she realizes that Harrow is Anastasia's blood is to apologize about Samael and reiterate her "vow", which she specifically did not remember until after she remembered Anastasia.
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So like. What does this mean? I cannot help but have a feeling that this relates to blood wards being broken by the blood of a relative, the Ninth House being the House of the Sewn Tongue, and the established fact that necromancy can fuck with memory and perception. I guess I had always assumed the original "sewn tongue" referred to Anastasia but like what if it referred to Alecto? And the established blood ward (the Tomb) could only be spoofed by a close relative (because John wouldn't program it to let anyone but himself in), but theoretically what is stopping Anastasia from whipping up a theorem for a blood ward that simply requires any kind of direct genetic link? Why would Alecto have forgotten her vows, how does this relate to Samael, why was she swearing allegiance to Anastasia? If she was made to forget because that vow was a secret, who was it kept secret from (John, presumably), and why, and how will this impact Alecto's motivations and actions in the next book? John seemed happy/relieved to see Alecto when she woke him up via sword-to-the-chest, but the Alecto he put to sleep (presumably) didn't remember her vows to Anastasia, and the Alecto who stabs him does, and what could this mean? How does this all connect to Anastasia's bones being nestled by the Rock on the inside of the tomb? Did Anastasia have a long term plan, or was she just hoping that the next time Alecto woke up that things would be Different? What could she possibly have hoped or assumed would have changed in that interim time? How does this connect to Alecto calling out for Anastasia right before John leads her into the Tomb? What HAPPENED between Anastasia and Alecto, and John, and Samael, and—(I am pulled off stage with a large hook)
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spicymotte · 2 days
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How fandom culture killed my creativity
hi. I have some thoughts about my time in a huge fandom and how it changed me:
First of all, I would like to say that these are my personal experiences in a large anime fandom. I have made very good friends with whom I am still in contact today - and I was exposed to a kind of brain rot that has changed the way I deal with art forever. However, this does not apply to every fandom/every person.
this - essay? - is way longer than I thought it would be. More under the cut:
In 2020, after a long break, I was able to get excited about One Piece again. Until then, I had always considered art important to me and I had never been able to do it professionally. (maybe someday...!)
The One Piece fandom is huge. There are now over 1000 manga chapters and anime episodes, which is gigantic; and the fandom itself is just as huge: millions of fans love this manga/anime and exchange ideas about it on the internet. I was previously very limited to tumblr, but then I ventured into OPtwt, the One Piece community on Twitter. There is a lot of fan art, fan fiction and small cliques that like the same character. There is something for everyone. It was great! I had a hyperfixation phase on OP before, in 2017. Now it came back - so violently that I realized very quickly that I could hardly think of anything else but One Piece.
Hyperfixations involve two major factors: an intense obsession with a character (or theme/media/whatever), which often brings with it a bottomless well of inspiration and motivation for artists – and a strange influence on brain chemistry. Neurodivergent people are prone to difficulties with the release of happiness and rewarding hormones anyway, and even though I am in no way qualified to make grand statements, as a person living with AuDHD, hyperfixations are both a blessing and a curse.
Often, the neurodivergent niches in the fandom communities are very lively. On extremely interactive social media like Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, you are flooded with posts of fan art, discussions and also escalation. It quickly becomes stressful for the brain to keep up with it - especially if you manage to accumulate a large number of followers. (also a blessing and a curse!)
I started posting fanart and OC x canon in 2020. I spent most of the last three years on Twitter and I have to say that it set me back in some ways. At first, I was slow to get to know people through fanart, but then I got to know people very quickly: fellow artists that I am still good friends with today and, unfortunately, people who have also succumbed to an incredible, destructive brainrot. I had chosen a character (or rather, my brain did) who plays almost no role in One Piece. All the better, so I pretty much had him to myself and I could do whatever I wanted. The OC x canon community is generally very friendly and respectful, so I found quite a few people who liked what I drew. Cool!
And then it started. With fanart and a small fan club for my OCs, I got more followers and more likes. More retweets and comments, more notifications. The algorithm started to like me and the growth increased steadily. My fandom (OP) account grew, as did my reach.
I checked Twitter more and more. Every free second I took my smartphone in my hand and checked my notifications. I reloaded the page until I had a new notification. I repeated this on Instagram and tumblr. Sometimes I catch myself doing it today, even though I haven't been active in this fandom for over a year!
Likes were good, retweets better. Every notification of an interaction with my art was a push on the feel-good button in my brain. It's very addictive, even if I talked myself out of it at first. The pandemic was at its peak and the internet was the only way to meet friends anyway. All this shit was fast food for my brain.
Then I started drawing fanarts, even though I didn't feel like it. But the likes had to come from somewhere, didn't they? I drew favorites from manga, characters that I didn't even like that much myself. But they were popular, so that promised likes and reach! Every single day, really every day, I drew fanarts. I was disappointed with myself if I didn't.
As of today, my two One Piece art folders have 80GB of data in it! what the fuck!! That's not normal!
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I learned a lot during that time and was able to develop my art. I was able to participate in projects, to draw for several zines and also had a lot of fun – but I treated it like a job. Making fan art your job is very difficult – and has a lot of consequences. If you run a merch shop (as I did for a short time), you always have to follow the hype and draw what's in style. You switch fandoms because the hype has just burned out and the next new thing is already in style. If you're one of the first to offer keychains and stickers - or plushies - you make the big money. That brings profit, but in my opinion you can very quickly step on the wrong foot in this jumping around and slip into burnout. (Or stagnate to such an extent that you lose all motivation to refine your artistic skills and become better at your craft.)
I see friends of mine, many of them, who are trying to live off of fandom merch. They all have one thing in common: their skills in art have remained absolutely the same over the past few years or have even declined. If you have to churn out a new batch of merchandise every week, you have to cut corners. There is no time for experiments and crazy studies when you can hardly live and have to produce merch/fan art that sells 100% well.
I don't mean to offend anyone - it's just that I've been thinking a lot about my own setbacks as an artist since I've been dealing with them so intimately. And I've definitely made some setbacks!
In 2021-2023, fandom life continued and got worse and worse. Checking my smartphone, drawing something every day to post it - just so that the algorithm doesn't sort me out. Posting daily is the number one rule on all Social Media, unfortunately. But I did it, no matter how burned out I felt.
And then there were the dramas on Twitter: internet puritans, antis and proshippers were screaming at each other and tearing each other to shreds (a trap I almost fell into myself! anti and pro are the biggest bullshit ever and I'm lucky enough to have reached a point where I can say: I don't give a shit lol). Callout posts, vague tweeting and aggression instead of simply blocking and moving on. Harassment that I myself experienced: I blocked a few people because I found them strange and unpleasant. They posted explicit things that I did not want to see on my timeline. This triggered a wave of harassment that was simply disgusting. These are people who hate their own lives so much that they can't do anything but feel miserable and stalk strangers online. Admittedly, this made me paranoid: a group of people had chosen me as a target. They passed around screenshots of many of my tweets and made fun of me, copying and stealing my art 1:1. They lied and cheated to make me look like an asshole – and this went on for years. It made me paranoid and was the first step away from fandoms, as it escalated more and more.
So, I was successfully bullied out of the fandom and my hyperfixation was over. It left a terrible void that I am still trying to fill today. Neurodivergence sucks, I'll tell you.
That's when I honestly asked myself for the first time: What the fuck am I doing here? When did I become a content machine for strangers on the internet? Why the hell do I feel so bad when I don't draw for a day? And why do I care what strangers think about me?!
Then I realized that I can't draw anymore.
Without references or the 3D models from Clip Studio Paint, I'm lost. When I try to draw something without any help, I sit in front of an empty canvas. My hands don't do what they're supposed to do and my brain blocks the thought of how drawing even works. My eyes only see the mistakes I make. Everything I draw looks bad to me.
I realized I have a problem.
So I try again and learn it all again from scratch: Anatomy, perspective, color theory, everything. But every time I sit down and try to put something on paper, there's nothing there. I've been drawing things every day for the last four years. Now my hyperfixation on this character and this manga is over and there's nothing left. I've been burning the candle at both ends and I've broken something in the process. Art is no longer something I enjoy. I need art to live and breathe, no doubt, but… the barrel now has a bottom again and it's empty to the last drop.
The little motivation I can muster goes into my webcomic, which is my everything. It's just mine, not a fandom. I feel honored that so many people read this comic. At the same time, I'm afraid that it's not enough; in my eyes, my art doesn't look good. Being surrounded by perfect illustrations on social media all day long distorts one's own perception of art, like the beauty industry that gives you body dysmorphia. On top of that, I haven't had any financial success with my comics in recent years, none at all. The dream of being an independent comic artist has receded so far into the distance that I can no longer see it. Bummer.
The constant stream of content that I gave during my fandom days has set me back incredibly. I can no longer enjoy the process of art, but my brain constantly pushes me to finish it, to have a finished product - because then I can post the drawing and get the virtual handshake that my weird brain likes so much.
Social media detox, of course, is the first thing that comes to mind. It's actually bullshit that we're all so addicted to these apps, but here we are. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but I have hardly any friends in real life. I'm very introverted and many people find my autism very unpleasant (I can't blame them, I often come across as rude), so I only have 1-2 friends. I would like to have more friends, but maintaining social contact is terribly exhausting. It's hard enough to reply to my mutuals in the DMs (sorryyyyy if I forget sometimes………).
And what if I just take a break for a while and don't draw so much? Recharge my batteries? Right now I'm taking a 6-week break, partly because my jaw surgery is coming up soon. I'll be sick anyway, so why not put the webcomic on hiatus and take a break for a while? I don't know if it will work out, but I have a hunch that it won't, because I always have the fast-paced internet in the back of my mind. How can I be a freelancer if I don't do fanart? How can I make money with it to help my partner, who is currently financing our lives, financially? How can I, as a disabled person, find a job that I can do and at the same time build my career as an artist? As an independent comic artist, I have to do the job of so many people (artist, author, manager, taxes, work organization), how am I supposed to do that?
I have no answers to these questions. Original works don't go nearly as well as fanart! So you have to work ten times as hard and play by the vague rules of the algorithms, which is exhausting enough. Nowadays, you can only be lucky and ride the viral wave if it falls into your lap.
But reflecting on my time in a huge fandom has made me realize that I was going down a very wrong path and am now experiencing the consequences. I'm completely burnt out and no longer know why I'm even making art anymore. I don't know if I want to make art much longer. (I think shit-life-syndrome plays a big role here, but not exclusively.)
As I said, I don't have any answers - but I would at least like to warn those who are having difficulties with distancing themselves from the internet and are quickly losing themselves in this maelstrom of social media.
I have since deleted Twitter from my smartphone and, fortunately, have hardly ever used TikTok (dodged a bullet there!). I try to get back into traditional art and get away from my computer. I am all the more grateful to the people, my community, so to speak, who do nonsense with me on tumblr. They read my comics and are extremely nice to me, which I really appreciate. Thank you!
I don't know yet if and how it will continue, but I would like to finish Berserkir in the next few years. I'd love to find a way to finish all the short comics I want to make, even though it's just me and not a whole team. Maybe I'll find a way, maybe I don't. Anyways, thanks for sticking around!
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Wesker ensuring Chris survives in RE1
It's interesting that Wesker goes out of his way to save and protect Chris when he made it clear that his team was now expendable. (gonna ignore the plot/plot armour and all that here for a sec)
Waiting a second or two and Chris would have been out of the picture, one less member to worry about. He could have also fired and missed to pretend he was making an attempt to save Chris.
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Then there's the gun left in the main hall (which was Jill's). Why would Wesker just leave it there and not take it with him? Surely it would have been smarter to take it with him and leave Chris defenceless and vulnerable. He must have known Chris could comeback to look for them (if he hadn't been killed by a zombie). Chris somehow lost his samurai edge as he was running to the mansion, Wesker would have noticed. When he takes Jill captive he left the gun for Chris to find and use.
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Leaving notes, items and ammo for Chris outside safe rooms/areas as Chris progresses to help him survive would mean he may have known his whereabouts constantly or left them there on the off chance Chris would pass through the area. One thing in particular is something that has ?? me for a while; if Wesker was trying to be discrete/laying low and avoid his betrayal being known, why even let Chris know it was him helping? Could he have somehow pretended it was Jill leaving the items and make it seem she was okay? "Look for a way out." + "Make sure you can get away." why even write that? He didn't have show concern/pretend to care to keep up appearances, yet he seemed to want Chris to survive or escape instead of simply letting Chris die to a zombie or by Wesker himself killing him. And going out of his way to fix doors for him? That's just encouraging Chris to continue his investigations and survive.
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Then the scene with Enrico. It only occurred to me much later that Wesker had actually saved Chris from being shot. Wesker had an opportunity to take them both out, or wait for Enrico shoot Chris and then take care of Enrico himself. It wouldn't have been hard for him to kill them both then and there.
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Why go through all the trouble of keeping Chris alive long enough for him to find out the truth? Why want Chris in particular to survive long enough to see the Tyrant and his true motives? Ultimately I believe Wesker had faith in Chris to survive up until the lab moment, I don't think he saw Chris as expendable like the majority of his team and team bravo. If he was he would have made more of an effort to get him killed and wouldn't have helped/saved him. It was important for Chris to see Wesker's true colours. We don't really have much to go on in regards to what their relationship was like before the mansion incident, only by what the novels say and bits and pieces. One thing for sure is that Chris befriended Wesker and they were casual enough with each other for Chris to disregard Wesker's title as captain and calling him by his last name instead of 'captain' or even 'sir'.
Random thing I noticed but liked; in the opening cutscene there's a shot of Wesker aiming his gun to the right then it switched to Chris just after who's aiming his gun to the left, like they're aiming at each other.
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lovelylittlelevity · 18 hours
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Im very sorry to say that as of 5/29/24 Lovely Little Levity's blog and game has been decided to become a content archive.
this was a team decision, and due to the lack of motivation and health issues (mental and physical) among us, we've come to the conclusion to simply let sleeping dogs lie. While I wish I could say we ended with a bang or something else interesting, it was a simple decision to choose us and our health before LLL.
below are the final statements of those who wished to speak
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Melody:
While I wish I could say I had fun, that was only true intitially. While I understand I made my mistakes, nothing I did gave the free pass some of y'all think you have to stalk me through multiple blogs telling me to kill myself and otherwise harrass me. I really hope I can find the joy of creating with friends again with the other projects I have ongoing. I guess to the people who still want to make "expose" documents/posts about me all I gotta say is: Grow up. Get a life outside of fandom culture. Some of y'all are forgetting what an actual problematic person looks like/have never faced REAL conflict and it shows.
Puppit:
Honestly it was fun at first but after a while it felt more like we have forced ourselves to make it because y'all wouldn't stop rushing us some of the time and kept on asking when the game was going to be finished. But when we released the demo, y'all said it felt forced. So it didn't feel fun anymore. It just became stressful in the end. Honestly the LMK fandom is just a whole disaster to the point so many are just at each other's throat. I just really hope it gets better for all of you.
Ekko:
In all honesty LLL was a mess. Early on we had the Scott issue, and then later more personal issues that slowed work down. Even when we had a pickup on motivation the constant pressure and rude comments were too much. It's not hard to be kind on the fucking internet, the world wont end if you dont click send on that kys message I swear. I could handle it better than the other members of LLL, however it doesn't mean i should have to. Thank you to everyone who was kind in welcoming me and aware of my tone deafness, you are appreciated more than you know.
-xoxo EK
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puhpandas · 2 days
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This might come off as controversial, but Steel Wool is not immune to criticism. I don’t like how Steel Wool is treating Gregory for numerous reasons, but them setting him up to be a bad person feels wrong when no other child character is treated this way. They don’t want to acknowledge him as a victim and like okay, we get it, we hardly see his trauma, but hello? Is he not still a child? How is he any different from other kid protagonists that wanted to live in this franchise?
There’s a higher standard for the games sure, but it’s weird to me that background book characters get treated way better. They don’t want him to be exactly like Cassie, which understandable, but we’ve already seen few Cassie characteristics from him? To ignore that is ignoring a big part of his character. Why would he do anything in the story then if he was just as bad and destructive as they portray him as? He still needs motives, even if they want to strip him of any characterization so we never feel bad for him. They’re actively refusing giving him positive attributes because they’d hate it if he started challenging other characters/fans favs, but that’s what makes a good story compelling. It feels like they’re taking their anger out on him through their writing if that makes sense?
I’m a little concerned he’s gonna be the one who dropped the elevator because it feels true, otherwise why would RUIN be so full of blatant Gregory hate? They want us to hate him, that’s quite all there is to it.
them never showing us him as a character on a normal day and only when hes in a life or death situation making a split second decision that could decide the fate of himself and everyone he loves definitely has something to do with it. they only show his 'blunt' decisions to do something bad for a good reason, and not what he would be making that decision for. we never get to see him just be a normal kid, we never get to see him after sb deserving to have that happy ending, we only see the bad
but I dont feel like this is just. we hate this 12yo character and like the other one better so we're making him evil and shitting on him. they probably do want people to see the bad things he did for a reason that we dont know yet.
them framing Gregory as cutting the elevator whether he did it or not was very blatant in that decision. it feels like they want to give him a 'redemption arc' in the eyes of the fandom in come kind of way since people have disliked him from the very beginning. like they want us to see him do these bad things, and then maybe theyll actually show us that he didnt want to do these things later, and maybe things will be different.
like, I cant be the only one who feels like Gregory and the elevator is a setup for something. obviously to trap cassie down below, but in that case they didnt have to make Gregory be the one do drop it, just blatantly the mimic. they want us to believe this for a reason, and that would be to show us at the very least a reasoning later. I dont believe that reason is just "we fucking hate this child character and want everyone else to as well" that's just. crazy to me.
they wouldnt make Gregory do many kind things for other characters if they hated him. they wouldnt have had him comfort cassie on her birthday and make them canonically close friends if they wanted to make him genuinely heartless.
keep in mind that with SBs nuked characterization and no focus on Gregory since then, we havent even gotten to see his pov in a long time. just Cassies so far, and Cassies story is pretty much built off of perspective. the MIMIC is literally a tool to make characters perspectives about eachother change or distort because it would frame a character as doing something they didn't
mimic is literally going to be used to cause confusion and distrust within characters and it literally did that and accomplished that in ruin. cassie is going to believe Gregory cut the elevator whether he did it or not. and that's why I genuinely believe he didnt. why on earth would they introduce a character that's main purpose would be to do bad things to characters in another characters name to cause drama and then just. have the character have actually have done it lmao.
TLDR: I dont believe steel wool would steep as low as to make a 12yo kid trying to survive actually evil or even just hate him as the creators, and I also think the story of cassie and ruin and beyond is designed off of making Gregory look bad (the mimics purpose as a villain being causing uproar and doing bad things in another characters name to cause distrust from another) from Cassies perspective so he can appear later and disprove those beliefs as a sort of 'redemption arc' to cassie and the fans
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scoobydoodean · 1 day
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BOBBY He's gonna find out, you know. One way or another, someone'll tell him, or he'll figure it out on his own. He's not dumb. He should it hear it from us. DEAN Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please? BOBBY Okay. But you better prep for the B side, 'cause when Sam realizes we're shining him, it ain't gonna be cute.
I must have seen this and the scene where Cas scolds Dean for putting Sam's soul back in giffed 10 times at least while looking for 6.12 gifsets in various archives and I think it's obvious why, given how rancid soulless Sam disk horse can get. It suits a narrative certain fans want to sell to take this out of context and make it look like Dean is being controlling—is babying Sam, trying to keep something from Sam that Sam deserves to know—and Sam is going to be rightfully mad at Dean treating him like a kid. That's such a narrow view that omits so much obvious context and Bobby ends up being completely wrong about Sam's reaction.
For one, Bobby says all this because he's struggling with being around Sam after soulless Sam tried to murder him the previous episode. Bobby's motivation for saying this is that he wishes he could clear the air. Unable to do so, he isn't sure how to explain why he doesn't really want to be in the same room with Sam (and boy is that a reversal from 6.06 where Bobby did not understand Dean's discomfort with soulless Sam and told him to stop being a baby).
For another, Dean's pleading "Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please?" really reveals his motivations for hiding the truth aren't about Sam as much as they're about DEAN needing space to process what soulless Sam did to him. What soulless Sam did to Dean and the way he behaved around him was fucking creepy. Telling Sam everything that happened while he was soulless won't just reveal information to Sam about himself—it requires Dean to reveal painful, personal details of some extremely uncomfortable experiences of his own that he doesn't really want to talk about. As a victim of that behavior, Dean deserves space to work through it. And the way he words it here, it's a request for TIME before they tell Sam the truth, so that Dean can BREATHE and PROCESS.
Bobby is right that Sam figures out he was soulless pretty quickly, but after figuring out Dean didn't tell him the truth, Sam isn't full of anger. He immediately understands Dean's hesitation to tell him the truth and understands it isn't about him.
It's about Dean not wanting to talk about the parts of Sam's soulless escapades where Dean was his victim.
SAM: Dean... DEAN: Yeah? SAM: I am so...so sorry. I can't even begin to say. DEAN: For what? SAM: You know what. DEAN: Did Bobby... SAM: Cas. DEAN: Cas. Friggin' child. SAM: You should have told me, Dean. DEAN: You weren't supposed to know. SAM: What I did? To Bobby? To you? Of course I should know.
Sam says "You should have told me," but notably, it isn't in an angry, accusatory tone. He's gentle. His focus is actually on DEAN and BOBBY and how Sam should know what he did so he can adjust his behavior accordingly for THEIR comfort.
Unlike the fans who love to harp on this moment as some proof of SAM being victimized by Dean (which bothers me for several reasons) Sam understands Dean's hesitancy wasn't just about keeping Sam safe, but was also about Dean being HURT by soulless Sam and deserving to have space to process that—the same way Bobby takes his space by deciding not to go on the hunt when Sam wants to join them.
Arguably, nobody should have been pushing for Dean to be the one to tell Sam everything to begin with. It's really for the best that Cas was able to share the details of what happened with Sam (however unwitting he was when doing so) because I don't know that Dean could have really talked about it. The moment in the car before Sam figures out how much time he's missing is bad enough:
SAM: So you never even tried, huh? DEAN: Tried? SAM: To go live a life...after. You do remember you promised that, right? DEAN: Yeah, I remember. SAM: So, why didn't you try? DEAN: What makes you think I didn't? SAM: 'Cause look at you. Look at this. You're exactly the same. DEAN: Yeah, you're probably right. A long pause. DEAN: I was with them for a year—Lisa and Ben. SAM: A year? DEAN nods. SAM: So then what? DEAN: Didn't work out. DEAN turns up the music.
Absolutely brutal. Sam's assumption that Dean didn't try stings all on its own, but it's especially hurtful (without Sam knowing that obviously) given soulless Sam was part of guilting Dean into leaving them in 6.02, and his actions with the vampire in 6.05 were what put such an upsetting end to Dean and Lisa's attempts at long distance. Regardless of whether you as a viewer thought Lisa and Dean could make things work in the absence of Sam's actions, that relationship ended in a particularly painful way riddled with fear and guilt because of Sam's actions in 6.05, instead of being allowed to end in a more amicable manner that could have provided more closure and mutual understanding. Dean can't say "Lisa and I had a terrible breakup because you let me get turned into a vampire on purpose and then I hurt Ben and I could have killed them and it was all because you didn't care about me or them and I was just a disposable piece of meat to you and now you're accusing me of not even trying to have a home like I wanted for so long because I'm a failure and that hurts like hell." All he can do is turn up the music.
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fiveisnumber1 · 3 days
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37
A/N: Hi Everyone, sorry it took so long to put this chapter out. I swear I really tried to get it done sooner, but without going into too much detail, let's just say I got majorly hit by the Author's Curse. It wasn't easy but I finally am in a place where I was able to finish this chapter and I have already written some of the next one. Let's just hope I don't have a repeat of last time. Hope you enjoy and if you can please leave a comment that would be so cool! They make my day and really help to motivate me!
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Pt 38 - Don't (Let Me) Go
Light pushed through the silent darkness that surrounded you, the brightness slowly increasing as time went on. You could hear a ringing in your head, and as you opened your eyes to look for the origin of the sound, light flooded into your receptors causing you to wince at the intensity. You shut your eyes tightly once again and turned your head to the side trying to avoid the piercing light directly above you. Slowly, you could feel the rest of your senses begin to kick in. You were lying down somewhere and as your fingers slightly moved back and forth you could tell that you were on a carpeted floor. You felt like there was a layer of sweat covering your skin. Your mouth felt extremely dry like you hadn't had water in days and all you could hear was the buzzing of what you assumed to be the light source above you. Carefully, you opened your eyes, wincing at the light once more before allowing your cloudy vision to focus as best as it could. The world was bright and still a bit blurry, but you could make out the room enough to realize you were back in Kenny's basement.
You were confused. How the hell did you get back here? You shut your eyes again trying to force yourself to remember what happened last night but everything was a jumbled mess and it hurt to think.
You moved your head slightly in an effort to look around more but the slightest movement made you feel like you were moving through jello. Just slightly out of arms reach you could see Dean lying on the floor as well.
"Dean..." You groggily called
However, he did not move.
"Marks..." You called slightly louder
Still nothing.
You knew what you had to do. With all the energy you could muster you rolled yourself from your back onto your stomach. A wave of nausea washed over you, but you somehow managed to stop it. Now within reach of him, you slid your arm over and placed your hand on his forehead before smacking it repeatedly.
"Ah!" He shouted as he quickly sat up "Estoy despierto!"
You did not move your head to look at him and instead just opted to use your peripheral vision as best as you could. You could see as he lifted his hand to his forehead to hold it. You couldn't tell if it was from a headache like yours or because you had just repeatedly hit it. Dean looked around the room confused before turning his attention to you on the ground.
"Oh, you don't look good." He commented
"I'll be fine..." You replied still slightly disoriented "What did we do last night?"
"What didn't we do?" Dean stated back "I can't even remember everything."
"That's- not comforting..." You responded
Seeing that you were not getting the answers you wanted from Dean, you knew that you would have to start asking around to piece together the puzzle, but there was no way you were going to get an idea of what happened last night from your spot on the floor. However, the thought of getting up felt like a Herculean task given your condition. You had never gone as far as you did last night. Honestly, you should've listened to that alcohol and drug lecture you got back in freshman year, no matter how lame they were. They were correct when they rhymed Drinking lots is really bad, it makes your head and tummy sad. Your head and tummy were very upset right now. If only you had some water, then you could force it through your system with your powers and wipe a lot of your discomfort away. If only you didn't have to get up to accomplish that.
Wait.
You didn't.
Through your tired and headache-filled haze, an idea came to mind. All you had to do was roll on your back once more, open your mouth, and use your powers to collect the water molecules in the air close enough to create a physical stream of water.
You were a genius.
Gathering your physical energy once more you rolled yourself back onto your back. The basement lights above shined into your eyes once more, but you did your best not to focus on it and instead focus on the task at hand. Looking up you concentrated on the water molecules in the air and began to bring them together. Quickly, the molecules pooled together becoming an orb that floated in the air. The ceiling lights shone through the water and reflected the light into brilliant rays. If it weren't for your thirst you may have considered staring at the growing water ball longer. When the orb looked sizable enough, you opened your mouth, and let the water begin to fall.
Unfortunately, you realized too little too late that your genius idea was actually incredibly stupid as the orb of water fell from the air and down onto your face. Your open mouth caught a good portion of the water, but instead of swallowing it as you had planned, you began to choke as you somehow managed to drown yourself. The shock of it all sent a jolt through your system causing you to sit upright and let the water still stuck in your throat spill out onto the floor. With most of the water either on the floor or swallowed into your system you began to gasp loudly for air as you tried to settle yourself back down. At least you were sitting up now. As you began to catch your breath, you heard as a voice asked,
"Did you just waterboard yourself?"
Your head slowly turned your head left toward the voice and saw Bren sitting against the wall. His expression was still tired mixed with some shock. You furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance as you attempted to shout between gasps,
"N-no!"
Rather than replying, he just raised one eyebrow curiously most definitely implying he did not believe you.
"Shut up!" You shouted, finally regaining your ability to speak "I didn't mean to!"
"Shhh..." Viktoria shushed, waving her hand at you "You're too loud."
"Sorry..." You whispered
Finally taking a look around the room you could see the rest of your friends in some state of alertness although some look worse for wear than others. Dean and Bren seemed tired but not in pain, Lucas and Addison seemed like they had light sensitivity but nothing some ibuprofen couldn't help with, but Viktoria looked like she was gonna need a stronger concoction of remedies to get better. As people began to move around you considered actually getting up to get water, but before you could you were greeted with the cheerful yet loud voice of Kenny exclaiming,
"GOOD MORNING KRUSTY CREW!"
"SHHHH!" Viktoria emphasized louder
"Oh shush yourself, Vi. I've got home remedies and medicine to fix you all up." Kenny replied matter-of-factly
Ah yes, of course, the part-time EMT and full-time party king himself would know exactly how to help you all. You watched from where you sat on the floor as Kenny, who seemed completely unaffected from the night before, passed out items from a tray to each of your friends. Coffee for Dean and Bren. Extra-strength migraine medicine and Gatorade for Lucas and Addison, and the prior plus saltines for Viktoria. And then lastly there was you. You watched as Kenny walked over to you and reached down to hand you a giant glass of water. As he did so though he noticed the remnants of water that soaked your top half.
"What happened?" He questioned confused
"I'm far stupider when my head hurts." You replied annoyed "Please just give me the water so I can fix myself."
"Makes sense," Kenny commented as he handed you the water
Chugging the water he had handed you, you finally managed to set out what you wanted to do with your original plan. Getting the water into your system, you used your powers to move it about your body helping you to start feeling better. It was an incredibly weird feeling when you messed with only some of the molecules inside your body, but it was better than being nauseous and in pain. And truly, a recovery that took two minutes of being uncomfortable was far better than one that took two hours.
Soon enough, the searing pain in your head and the unease in your stomach both managed to subside allowing you to focus on more important matters. Like drying yourself off for one. Using your abilities to collect the water molecules in your shirt, you distributed them back into the world, ridding yourself of the evidence of your mistake. which finally led you back to your original plan, FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.
Finally feeling confident in your ability to stand, you got up from where you sat on the floor, moved to the center of the room, and looked around at your friends. There were markings on each of your friends' left wrists wrapped in clear bandaging that conjured hazy memories of a weird biker bar. Looking down at your left wrist, you saw it was also marked with a symbol of your own. The memories became clearer as you recalled your conversation with Pogo and how you drew the image for him to tattoo. Looking at the tattoo once more you noticed that it seemed to already have healed over. Of course, it had. Your scars never stayed. At least not the physical ones.
That wasn't important though. As you pulled your clear bandage off your wrist you went back to looking at your friends. Things at first seemed ordinary even with the blacked-out gaps in your memory. But then things became odd. Bren had what looked like a streak of black paint on the side of his neck and Addison was wearing a diamond ring on her ring finger.
"Bren, how did you get paint on your neck?" You asked
"Probably got it when we graffitied that stupid banner last night." He replied, looking up from his coffee
You looked at him blankly. You had no recollection of that whatsoever. What banner would the two of you hate enough to even do that, anyway?
"Right." You responded, attempting to hide your lack of remembrance
After responding, however, you quickly looked over toward Addison who was snuggled up next to Lucas on one of the basement's couches.
"And where did you get your ring again, Addi? It's just so lovely." You asked feigning ignorance
"Oh, Lucas found it in a ring box in the bathroom of the club we went to and proposed to me with it." She answered, happily showing it off
"Yeah, and I finally got to use my Certificate of Ordination to marry them when we went to City Hall." Kenny chimed in
"Of course. How could I forget." You replied, still trying to hide that, in fact, you did NOT remember
There were vague memories of someone referencing City Hall when you were at the bar Pogo worked at, but besides that, you had no clue what happened there. Looking over towards Dean you could see that he had a smirk on his face. Locking his eyes with yours, you could hear as he said in your head,
You don't remember shit, do you?
You scowled slightly as you replied in his head,
Shut it. Just tell me what else happened. I already feel stupid enough from the accidental waterboarding...
His smirk turned into a smile as he explained,
Beyond breaking into City Hall so Lucas and Addison could get married? You helped Lucas forge adoption papers so Luther and Sloane Hargreeves are now his legal parents.
You thought to yourself for a moment before stating,
That does like something I would do.
Externally Dean gave you a nod before adding in your head,
Although, you should ask Viktoria where the fanfiction she printed for you is. She ran out like three government printers to put it all into these huge ass binders.
Your eyes went wide for a moment as you questioned,
Binders?
Oh yeah, at least two to my knowledge.
You gave Dean one more look before carefully turning toward Viktoria who was slowly going between eating saltines and sipping on some orange Gatorade on the other couch in the basement. Taking a few steps closer to her you softly began to say,
"Hey Viktoria, about those binders you put together yesterday-"
"Spider-Man fics are in the red binder. They're mainly Amazing Spider-Man focused but some are just general Spider-Man. However, In A Matter of Time fics, are in the blue binder and are sorted by who they're about." Viktoria replied matter-of-factly in between sips of her drink
Well...you did say you wanted to read some of those stories. Viktoria knew the types of tropes you liked and she read everything from the best of works to the worst of it all so at least you knew you were going to get the good stuff.
"Cool. Where are they?" You asked, still hiding the fact that you forgot about this too
"In the black bag over there?" Viktoria stated, pointing in the general direction of the far wall
Walking over to the wall you saw not one, but two, black bags resting against the wall. They were both relatively similar in appearance so you weren't sure which one she was referencing.
"Which bag is it?" you inquired, gesturing to the two bags
"I don't know, the left one?" She shrugged
Taking her word you walked over to the bag on the floor to the left. Crouching down, you opened the zipper on the top of the bag but instead of finding the aforementioned binders you were instead met with the sight of a large sum of cash, all in perfectly banded stacks. You paused, confused at the unexpected sight before you.
"Did you find the papers?" Dean asked
"Not the type that I expected to be in here." You replied
"What do you mean?" Viktoria questioned
"These aren't binders. This is cash." You stated, turning around to show the group "And a lot of it."
"Oh, that's my bag!" Kenny exclaimed, "Viktoria's is the one on the right."
Everyone slowly turned to look at Kenny. Confusion and concern running across all of your faces but his.
"Kenny, why do you have stacks on stacks in that bag?" Bren interrogated
"Oh, because I took it when we were at City Hall," Kenny stated nonchalantly
the jaws of you and your friends dropped as you looked at him. He seemed to not have a care in the world about what he had done. This was bad. Not apocalypse bad, but still, pretty fucking bad.
"You stole thousands of dollars from the government?!" You exclaimed
"The world is in chaos why would the government care?" Kenny explained
"IT'S MONEY!" You shouted, "THEY CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT MORE THAN HUMAN LIFE!"
Kenny paused for a moment, somehow only now realizing the severity of what he had done.
"Ah fuck...you right." He stated
"Hey, hey, calm down," Bren interjected "I'm pretty sure I managed to turn off their security system though."
Turing your attention from Kenny, you looked at Bren and questioned,
"How sure?"
"Like 75 maybe 85 percent sure." He answered
"That's pretty good." Lucas tried to encourage
"That's not a hundred," Dean replied
"So what? We can't leave this basement until the world ends?" Viktoria questioned
A silence fell over the group. You looked at each other waiting for someone to say something but no words came. Was Viktoria right? Was this it? Were you all stuck here in Kenny's basement for the short, but foreseeable future?
No. You couldn't let that happen. If the world was ending you were doing whatever you could to fill the time. You weren't going to become like the rest of the world hiding themselves away from the inevitable. You wouldn't let the dread of the end creep into you all. If you were going out, it was going to be together, as a group, on your terms. You refused to let the world take this from you.
"No, we can. We just need to keep a very low profile." You spoke up
Your friends turned their attention to you. There was confusion amongst the group, but that notable spark of hope in their eyes. There were a plethora of things you could count on your friends for. Friendship, support, humor, connection, loyalty, etc. But the most important one was hope. It was their hope that kept you going when things were tough just like it was your hope that kept them going during their dark days. You were a family. You loved each other. And when it came to wanting the best for each other no expense was paid to giving out hope to one another.
The apocalypse wasn't your fault, but it was your doing that they were aware of it. If there was anything you could give them now it was hope. Looking back at them you stood up straighter, and with confidence in your voice you explained,
"Like Kenny said, the world is in chaos, people are disappearing, and they might not put as much effort into looking for us as they would under normal circumstances."
Slowly but surely, there were nods of agreement at the statement. They made sense and if you were so confident in that fact then they should be too.
"Still, we should find a new place to lay low these next few days." Dean added, "God forbid, it's that 15-25 percent that Bren isn't sure, they'll probably still come checking our homes just to say they tried."
"Okay, but what place is going to take in seven strange kids no questions asked?" Addison commented
There was quiet chatter amongst the group about where you all could go to lay low. However, the confident look on your face dropped contorting into a grimace as you already knew where would be best suited to hide out. You did not want to take your friends there, especially with who were already staying there, but deep down you knew it was best.
"What's that look for, sis?" Dean questioned
"I know a place..." You sighed
"And you're sure they won't ask questions?" Addison pressed
"Positive." You explained, "The same guy has been working the front desk since at least the sixties and didn't ask why I haven't aged a day after 56 years."
"Well, I don't know about you guys but that works for me," Kenny stated
Everyone else seemed to either nod their head or mumble some type of agreeing statement to the idea. In your mind, it wasn't ideal but you knew it was your best bet.
"Alright then, everyone grab your important shit, shove it in my car, and let's go." Dean said
With Dean's declaration, your scattered friends started to get up and gather their things. Some more slowly than others. You felt a twinge of sadness as you looked around Kenny's basement. This place was your main hangout spot and it was filled with memories. You had hoped you could come back to this place each day, but just like many other places in your life, you had to move on. What was safest was best. There wasn't all that much to grab since most peoples' items were back at their respective houses, but soon enough everyone had gathered their sentimental stuff and gathered by the basement stairs ready to go. As you all began to make your way up the stairs, and to the front door you could hear Kenny exclaim behind you all,
"Wait!"
Everyone stopped on their own specific stair, except for Lucas who had already made it to the main floor landing and looked back at Kenny.
"What's wrong?" Bren inquired
"My tumbly's grumbly." Kenny replied
"Oh! I can make us eggs before we go." Lucas suggested
"No!" The rest of the group interjected
Lucas looked down the stairs at you all, his head tilted to the side in confusion at all of your reactions.
"Uh- no thank you, Lucas." You said, in a more polite tone "We'll get breakfast on the way."
With a quick shrug of his shoulders, Lucas smiled at the rest of you as he replied,
"Okay!"
And as he walked off toward the front door the rest of you looked down at Kenny who still stood at the bottom of the stairs, all giving him an annoyed glare.
"I don't know why you all are mad at me. You said no too." Kenny complained
Letting out a little sigh, you, like everyone else, continued up the stairs and out to Dean's car. With everyone piled in Dean pulled away from Kenny's house and drove off. After a quick stop at a diner, where you ordered and ate breakfast food besides eggs, you got back in the car and directed Dean to drive to the Hotel Obsidian, telling him it was mostly a straight shot down the road with one left turn after 20 blocks.
With that explanation though, Dean's sense of caution seemed to dissipate as he whipped out of his parking spot at the diner and floored it down the road. Weaving between the abandoned cars and ignoring most traffic lights, it seemed as if Dean had forgotten the speed limit, that there would still be some other cars on the road, and thatyou were trying to lay low. You could hear the sound of the song Tokyo Drift playing in his head as you sped down the semi-apocalyptic streets. You took a look at your friends in the backseat, most of them seemed at least slightly entertained except for Viktoria who was starting to look green. You were almost at the hotel though, so you hoped she could at least hold out til you got there to possibly spill her guts. As you approached the left turn to arrive at the hotel, Dean quickly spun the wheel left causing the car to do a few donuts in the intersection. You let him enjoy his fun for a few rotations as Bren and Kenny encouraged him from the back seat, but with Viktoria's condition seemingly worsening you decided to hit his arm suggesting he get a move on.
Finally making the left turn, Dean slowed down slightly as he pulled up into the front drive of the hotel. You all stepped outside of the car, leaving most of your items with you before having Dean lock everything up. You did however wonder why Kenny felt the need to bring his medbag with him, it's not like anything major was going to happen at the hotel. Nevertheless, you made your way, with your friends, toward one of the front revolving doors as you all collectively tried to push your way through in the same turn.
"Will you- god- back up, Kenny," Bren complained
"Dean, your elbow's in my ribs," Lucas stated
"Okay, we didn't all-" Addison began to criticize
"Move forward!" Dean shouted as he pushed the group
After a moment, the seven of you finally made it through the door and to the other side of the entrance. Spreading out to give each other space, you mentioned
"You know there were two doors, right?"
"Thank you, girl who can go through walls. That's some great insight coming from the person who didn't have to use the door with us, but did anyway." Addison remarked
Your mouth fell into an awkward frown as your eyes moved to look toward the floor. Sometimes you got so wrapped up in what was going on that you forgot your powers were even an option. It was a rare occurrence, but it still happened from time to time. However, being reminded that you forgot about your innate abilities made you feel a bit stupid.
"Okay, you're right, but you don't have to be mean about it..." You responded slightly embarrassed
As you dealt with recovering from your faux pas, however, your friends looked about the place they were now going to be staying in the meantime. However, any excited curiosity slowly began to fade as they took everything in. The sub-par hotel was noticeably old. From the furniture, to the lighting fixtures, to the carpet itself nothing looked like it was from this century. It barely looked like it belonged to the last one. The other people who inhabited the hotel were also an odd mix. Your friends tried not to make eye contact with them even as some of them quietly stared at the group.
"This place looks lame as fuck." Dean commented
"It smells like my Grandma's house," Kenny added
"(Y/N), why are we here?" Lucas asked disappointed
"Lucas you know why we're here. I have connections here, along with the Academy crew staying here as well." You explained, "I brought you all here so you'd be safe."
Lucas nodded his head at your response but then you could see as his eyes widened. A revelation came to his mind as you mentioned that the Academy was also staying here.
"Oh my god." Lucas said in a low tone, "I might get to tell Luther he's my dad now."
"Gonna be honest, looking at this place I'd rather take my chances with the government finding us," Bren remarked
You could see as the rest of your friends looked around at each other. No one was replying to Bren's statement, you could tell that they were thinking about it. Except Lucas of course who was too preoccupied with the thought of actually getting a new father.
"Listen, I know it's not great. But it's safer." You added reassuringly, "And I promise we will have a good time. Charlie and I found many ways to make this place at least a little fun."
There was a slight hesitancy, but after a moment you could see your friends become less tense about the situation. Their shoulders relaxed and their postures became more casual. It wasn't ideal but you were going to make this work for you all. As you looked about your group of friends though, you noticed that there were only 5 out of the 6 standing around the lobby.
"Where's Viktoria?" You asked concerned
"Right there," Bren replied pointing behind you
Turning around you saw your petite friend leaning over a small trash can looking as if she was about to puke. Poor Viktoria, her stomach upset so easily. Granted, you couldn't blame her given the events of last night and Dean's driving right after eating. You watched as she looked over toward your group, her head close to resting on the rim of the can. Between the paleness of her skin and the tired look in her eyes, you could tell that she did not feel well.
"Why don't you drive a little more recklessly next time, huh Dean?" Viktoria ridiculed, sickness evident in her tone
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm the safest driver I know." Dean replied, "We're all here in one piece are we not?"
Viktoria shot Dean a dirty look, but quickly after a wave of nausea washed over her causing her to turn her face back toward the opening of the trash can. Fortunately, she faced the can just in time as seconds later a stream of bile came from her mouth. There was a mix of grossed-out grimaces and sympathetic looks on the faces of you and your friends while other guests of the hotel looked on in disgust. As Addison rushed over to Viktoria's side you turned to look at the rude patrons staring at your friend.
"Mind your business!" You shouted, your eyes angrily flaring up
The prying eyes of other guests quickly averted themselves as you returned to normal and turned back to your group. Now kneeling next to Viktoria, Addison gently ran a hand up and down her back trying to ease her discomfort. With a sympathetic smile, Addison cooed,
"C'mon Vi, let's see if they have some old pretzels or something behind the bar to help your stomach."
Kenny quickly perked up at the word bar as he excitedly looked around the lobby once more. He had missed it the first time, but off to the side, there was a fully stocked bar with no one attending it. A wide smile came to his face as he ran off toward it cheering,
"It's unmanned! That means it's free!"
As quick as Kenny started running though, Bren took off after him.
"KENNY! NO!" He shouted, pulling out one of his whips to try and grab onto him
As Bren chased Kenny toward the bar, you looked back at the scene in front of you. Addison was trying hard to get Viktoria to get up so they could walk over to the bar and hopefully help her feel better. However, her efforts were futile as Viktoria's body refused to let her leave from her kneeling position.
"I can't move..." Viktoria groaned as Addison tried to lift her once more
Letting out a defeated sigh, Addison called out,
"Lucas! Come help me carry Viktoria."
"Oh uh- yeah," Lucas answered coming out of his thoughts, "Sure thing, babe,"
Walking over to where Addison was Lucas lifted Viktoria off the ground with ease. He was a very strong boy and lifting someone small like Viktoria was a piece of cake for him.
"Don't worry Sonata, I got you." Lucas comforted as he picked Viktoria up
He waited for a moment for Addison as she picked up the trash can and continued to hold it close to Viktoria's head. Once she was ready the two of them slowly made their way over to the bar to not disturb Viktoria's stomach more. And then there were two. You looked over at the rest of your friends by the bar before turning to Dean and saying,
"Well if everyone else is over there we might as well too,"
"You can go. However, I have to piss." Dean replied
"I told you not to drink four glasses of orange juice." You reminded
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just point me to the nearest bathroom." Dean remarked
Rolling your eyes, you pointed toward the back of the lobby toward the elevators.
"Off to the side of the elevators, there is a hallway. Down at the end of the hall is a communal bathroom. There are stalls, showers, and baths so don't be surprised if you see anyone in just a towel." You explained before commenting, "Or less."
"Do you know that from experience or...?" Dean questioned
"Not my experience. Charlie's." You answered, "I always showered at the Academy."
"Alright. Well, I'll meet you back at the bar with everyone else." Dean replied
With that, Dean gave you a short nod as he walked off toward the bathrooms and you began to head toward the rest of your friends. As you made your way over to the bar, you noticed Viktoria's phone on the ground. It must've fallen out of her pocket as Lucas had carried her. Picking it up, you took it with you. She'd probably want it back when she was feeling better, but given you hadn't used a smartphone in four years you felt very compelled to use hers. As you approached, the bar you called out to Viktoria,
"Vi, I found your phone. Can I use it?"
Viktoria, however, didn't look or talk back. Instead, you could see her give a shaky thumbs up. And with that approval, you sat down on the bar top, surrounded by your chaotic friends, and unlocked her phone to scroll social media.
Unbeknownst to you though, just across the lobby, the rest of the Umbrella Academy were gathering together as well. One by one, the members of the Hargreeves family had found all of themselves standing near the elevators asking each other what had happened to them recently. But as a silence fell over the group, a vortex of blue opened beside them spitting out Lila and Five onto the carpet of the hotel. Luther, Viktor, Allison, and Diego all jumped back in shock as they watched as the two of them collided with a travel magazine stand, smashing it to pieces. Five and Lila groaned from where they lay on the ground, surrounded by magazines and broken wood.
Rolling onto his back, Five could feel his head spinning. Through his eyes, he could make out the figures of his siblings, but it seemed like each of them had two extra duplicates.
"Shit." He muttered to himself
Sitting up, Five pushed himself to stand, but as he got on his feet he could feel his legs wobble beneath him as the world spun a little more. His mind was racing and yet he couldn't think straight.
"Where have you been?" Viktor questioned
"Facing my mortality, Viktor. I don't recommend it." Five replied as he began to regain his balance
With the world around him a little more stable, Five fixed his jacket and brushed the dust of the wooden stand off his suit. Regaining his composure, he now tried to regain his train of thought. It seemed like every time he time traveled it always seemed to screw with his head a bit. He didn't know if it was the act of traveling through time or the fact that he only ever did it under duress that made his mind get disorganized. Either way, it didn't help especially with so much on the line. As he focused more on the important things at hand, his focus was interrupted by Allison aggressively remarking,
"You had the briefcase? We've been looking for this!"
"Well, look no further. That's the last one on Earth." Five replied
Five watched as she knelt next to the case and took it into her hands. Examining it closer, it was obvious the thing was broken. Between the dents, scratches, and billows of smoke coming off of it, there was no way it was going to work again.
"Or was the last one." Five added
Allison scoffed, tossing the briefcase down to the ground in frustration before getting up and walking away to sit on a nearby staircase. With Allison off to the side, Five went over to the briefcase to inspect it. He didn't think it was workable, but given everything it didn't hurt to check. With one glance though, it was evident that the case was broken beyond repair.
"Yeah, that's toast." Five said aloud
As Five stepped away from the briefcase and began to finally collect his thoughts, Lila rushed towards Diego and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.
"You're happy to see me. What's wrong?" Diego asked
"Turns out there's less time to hold grudges than I had planned. You're off the hook." Lila explained before asking, "Hey, where's Stan?"
Even with the idle chatter in the background between his family members, Five was able to gather his thoughts. The world was ending. He knew that. It was because of a Kugelblitz that it was ending. He learned that. Another version of himself created the commission and also died. He witnessed that. You, his girlfriend, were in danger of also dying. He discovered that. None of these thoughts were good, and they needed to be resolved fast. Calling the attention of those around, Five announced,
"Hey, Chatty Cathys, quit the chitchat, all right? I'm calling a family meeting here."
Hearing that, Lila attempted to walk away from the group but was stopped by Diego who held her wrist and said,
"Ah, ah, ah. That means you too."
With his mind fully in focus, and the things he needed to address listed out in his head, Five looked around at the group that stood before him, but as he glanced at each individual he noticed a very important one was missing.
"Where's (Y/N)?" Five asked the group
Besides Lila, who was with Five the whole time, the rest of the group looked around at each other for an answer. Their eyes met each other as shoulders were shrugged and uncertain mumbles filled the air. No one seemed to know where you were.
Concern bubbled up within Five. How could they not know where you were? You were with the group of them when he had left. How did they not see you? Terrible thoughts started to flood Five's mind as he thought of the possibilities of what could've happened to you. What if you were kidnapped by the Sparrows? What if a kugel wave blitzed you? Or worse, overwhelmed your powers and killed you? What if he was too late and you were already gone? In their conversation, his other self told him that he shouldn't have left here, that his time was running out. Was this what he meant?
"Where is my girlfriend?" Five harshly emphasized
Uncomfortable looks spread on the faces of the Hargreeves siblings as they stayed silent. Their silence though began to push Five into a spiral. His body tensed and frustration flooded his face as he looked at his siblings. There was one more thing about him that only Lila managed to notice. Panic. There was panic in his eyes even if his expression was angry.
His panic however was a cause of concern for Lila. Five had already stated that if he didn't have you, he would end the world himself. And if anyone besides Viktor has a reason to do it, it would be him. Lila didn't care about you appearing because she liked you, but more so because she had things she needed to do and Five ending the world would get in the way of that. And whether she liked it or not, if there was one person Diego cared about besides her, it was you. So he had to be the one to know where you were.
"Diego, where's (Y/N)?" Lila asked
"Uh, I mean she has to be here somewhere, right?" Diego responded
That was not the answer Lila wanted to hear. Hoping that with a little pressure Diego would remember, Lila pressed,
"Well, she's your sister so shouldn't you know where she is?"
"No, I've been busy with Stan," Diego replied
"Of course you fucking have." Five snapped from across the group
Five's comment didn't register with Diego though as out of the corner of his eye he saw Stan walk by with an armful of chemicals. Not really thinking about the issue at hand and instead wondering what Stan was up to, Diego announced,
"I'll be right back."
"Don't leave me with your- Dieg-" Lila called but it was useless as he had already walked away
Five's frustration began to boil over as Diego walked away to follow Stan. Diego, who still continuously criticized him for even breathing in your direction, apparently couldn't care less that you were missing. Only a few days ago, if you were missing he would've gone nuclear, but now it seemed that didn't matter. What a fucking hypocrite. With his emotions continuing to build up, Five faced the rest of the group, but with a crowd of blank stares looking back Five couldn't help but shout,
"SOMEONE BETTER TELL ME WHERE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND IS NOW."
"I know where she is." A voice called out
Hearing those words a sense of relief washed over the entire group. Thank god, someone knew where you were because none of them did. However, after that moment of relief, they realized the voice was not familiar to them. Everyone's head quickly turned toward the voice only to be met with a teenage boy who had a similar resemblance to Diego. To Luther and Allison, there was something familiar about him, but Viktor and Lila had no clue who this kid was.
"Who's the mini Diego?" Viktor asked
"Y'know Viktor, I take offense to that, but seeing as we've never met before I'll let it slide." He responded
Viktor looked toward his siblings only to be met with more shrugs from Allison and Luther. But the look on Five's face was a different story. Five knew who this person was, but it didn't make sense why he'd be here.
"Dean?" Five questioned confused
Dean smiled. Not only because Five recognized him but because he was back and that was going to be such a relief for you. After he apologized for leaving in the first place, of course. Walking over to Five, he placed a hand on his shoulder as he greeted,
"Hey, Five! Great to see you. Sorry to hear about the black hole consuming all of existence, I know you tried really hard to stop that."
"A black hole is destroying existence?!" Allison exclaimed angrily
"It's called a Kugelblitz." Five replied flatly as he attempted to process what was going on
Lila looked at the teenage boy standing in front of Five. Who was this kid? And why did he look like a younger version of her boyfriend? Obviously, he wasn't a younger version because Five addressed him as Dean, but that didn't make it any less confusing. And even more so, he knew about the Kugelblitz. Lila thought the only two people who knew were her and Five. Trying to learn more, Lila questioned,
"How do you know about that?"
Dean looked towards Lila. he hadn't noticed her before, but he recognized her. They had never met of course, but Dean knew her as one of the villains from the Dallas arc of Charlie's comics. The comics that he now knew were about your life and the people in it. Dean narrowed his eyes at Lila, as his face contorted with disgust. Like most other fans of Charlie's comics, Dean did not like Lila. In his mind, Lila deserved no respect. And now, after coming to realize her significance in the circumstances that led you back to him and the things she had done, he hated her even more. She was actively ruining your life by just existing in it. And you, his beloved twin sister, should not have to put up with her existence. Dean wasn't going to tolerate that. Glaring at Lila, in a vile-laced tone, Dean responded,
"I don't associate with homewreckers."
"Excuse me?" Lila replied taken aback
Who was this kid? Who did he think he was calling her a homewrecker? What home was there even to wreck? Diego didn't have a wife or a child. Why was this boy so hostile toward her when they had never met before?
"You're not excused." Dean deadpanned
Lila's jaw dropped as she wracked her brain trying to make sense of what was going on right now.
Like Lila, Five was also trying to comprehend his current situation. Whatever semblance of a plan to discuss the end of the world with his family Five had was now thrown out the window. He was bewildered. Dean was here. Why? Dean knew who he was. WHY? Dean knew about the Kugelblitz. WHY? None of this made sense. Most things didn't make sense at this point but this was something else, and Five needed it to start making sense or he was going to go insane. At least more insane than he already was given what he had come back from. Placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, Five brought Dean's attention back to him.
"Dean, look at me," Five interrogated "How do you know who I am?"
Dean's eyes pulled away from the woman at the top of his shit list to look at Five. Five's face was filled with confusion, which finally reminded Dean of the fact that he technically was not supposed to know who you or the Umbrella Academy were.
"Oh uh, (Y/N) stabbed me with a needle and my brain became a recovered Google Doc and now I recall everything from the first timeline." Dean explained, "Except my death, of course."
Five's head tilted slightly, as he was now more confused than before. How did a needle jog his memory? Why did he mention his death? And what the hell was a Google Doc? Before Five could ask any follow-up questions though, Dean had turned to look at Viktor and added,
"And don't worry Viktor, I don't blame you for killing me, my friends, and everyone else in the world, but that's probably because I can't remember how we died."
The words that had priorly come out of this kid's mouth were confusing to everyone, but that statement struck Viktor like a semi-truck. His confused expression morphed into one of terror as he processed the words he heard. Viktor had killed this kid? He killed this kid's friends? And the only reason he wasn't mad was because he couldn't remember how it happened? What a terrible statement to have come out of some random teenager's mouth and what a terrible reality he now had to live with.
"I- um- what does that even mean?" Viktor questioned concerned
"No time." Five interjected, "How do you know about the Kugelblitz, Dean?"
"Oh, (Y/N) figured it out like a day and a half ago. She scribbled a bunch of math on a wall for an hour like a deranged scientist and then told all of us." Dean answered nonchalantly
Besides Five, the rest of the group look around at each other all wondering the same thing.
"Who's us?" Luther questioned
"The rest of our family. Who I need to be getting back to by the way." Dean responded as he started walking off toward the bar, "They're all over there."
The rest of the group quickly followed behind him but as they approached the bar, they were met with a chaotic scene. A blond boy nervously paced back and forth holding papers in his hands. A sickly-looking girl was heaving over a bin as her friend held her hair and ran a hand up and down her back. And then there was the lanky boy on the ground attempting to claw his way toward a bottle of alcohol just out of reach, as another boy used two whips to hold him by the ankles and pull him back.
"LET ME HAVE IT!" The curly-haired boy shouted
"You've had enough to drink!" The one holding him reprimanded
As most of the group took in the chaos a few revelations came to mind. For Luther and Allison, they recalled vague memories of their time in the bowling alley from the first apocalypse and began to realize that these teens were the same over-enthusiastic ones from then. For Viktor and Lila however, they realized that these kids bore a striking resemblance to the Umbrella Academy with each one corresponding to a different member. It was a little eerie seeing the similarities.
Unlike his siblings though, Five took no notice of the scene before him and instead, his focus shifted only to you. Once his eyes had locked on you it was as if he saw nothing else. He froze for a moment taking in the sight. There you were standing next to the bar looking at some rectangle in your hand. You were okay. You were still alive. He hadn't failed yet. The lights from above the bar cast you in a warm glow that seemed to brighten when you smiled at whatever you were looking at. Looking at you, the panic he had felt from not knowing if you were safe faded away, and without realizing it, he began to walk over to you. Step by step he drew closer, and yet every inch still in between the two of you felt like a mile. For someone whose whole thing was understanding time, he could never seem to grasp how it flowed so differently when he looked at you. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he gently took your face into his hands before pressing his lips firmly against yours.
Your eyes shot wide for a moment and Viktoria's phone fell from your hand as you tried to process what was going on, but you quickly realized there was only one person who could kiss you this sweetly. Five. Even this close up you recognized his face. You let out a happy sigh as he kissed you, your eyes fluttering closed and your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. You were so relieved he was back.
As the two of you kissed each other, off in your own little world, the rest of the people around looked on. His siblings were honestly shocked. Five never came off as the affectionate type. Sure, he always stated that he loved you, but displaying that affection was rare. They could recount a few occasions in which he held your hand, but besides Luther who saw you kiss him when you showed up at the hotel a few nights ago, none of them could ever recall a time he had openly kissed you like this. Hell, Luther wasn't even sure if that kiss a few nights ago was your first or not.
Your friends however were a completely different story. Whatever they were originally doing came to a complete halt as mischievous smirks and smiles came to their faces. Loudly, they oohed and awed like a group of children finding out you got called to the principal's office. Hearing the comments from your friends, you and Five pulled back from each other, a red blush creeping onto both of your faces.
"Kissing before marriage? So scandalous." Addison chimed
"Yeah, get a room you two." Bren teased
"Shut- shut up." You stammered embarrassed
This was terrible, but this was your karma for teasing your friends about their crushes all those years. Just like you had found their red faces, averted gazes, and stammered responses funny in the past, they now felt the same about you. You could hear the stifled giggles of your friends around the bar and in an effort to avoid their gaze, you instead looked at Five. But as you finally took a good look at him, you now had a new issue on your hands. He was wearing a suit. The suit itself wasn't the issue, it was a nice suit and it looked well-made. The issue was that your boyfriend looked far too good in it. Your brain started to think about the kiss you shared a moment ago. It was sweet with a slight hint of desperation. You thought about how you would've reacted if you had seen him coming your way. Perhaps instead of wrapping your arms around his neck, you would've taken him by the tie to pull him closer. Maybe he would've stepped forward a little more pinning you between him and the bar. You wondered what would happen if the rest of the world was gone. If it was just you two. Alone.
"Jesus Christ, you're down atrocious." Dean remarked aloud, snapping you from your thoughts
Breaking from your trance, your head whipped toward where Dean stood leaning against a pillar.
"I SAID SHUT UP!" You exclaimed loudly
You quickly brought a hand to cover your mouth, regretting how loudly you snapped at him, but the shocked expression on your face and reddening cheeks did not match your twin brother's look of mischievous joy in the slightest. You could see as his smirk became replicated on that of your friends as they all realized Dean had gotten a glimpse into something they weren't privy to, but would love to be.
"What did she say in her head!?" Kenny asked Dean excitedly as he escaped Bren's grasp and grabbed the bottle near him
"Oh, it's not what she said..." Dean responded, mild insinuation in his voice
"Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!" Lucas chanted from his spot next to Addison
"Oh my god, fucking stop." You shouted nervously at your friends before turning to Dean and adding "And you! Get out of my head!"
"Think quieter." Dean remarked, "Before everyone else starts to hear you too."
You were so done with his and the rest of your friends' teasing. Were you down atrocious? Yes, obviously. But that didn't mean they needed to point it out and embarrass you in front of people like this. Especially not your boyfriend and his family. Luckily enough though, as you look around at the Hargreeves present all of them had bewildered expressions on their faces. You were safe. For now. Trying to switch topics before someone could mock you again, you mentioned,
"Anyway! Uh- end of the world, right?"
"Nice pivot." Bren teased
You shot him an annoyed look before turning back to Five who had finally remembered why he had left you in the first place. He left to find out why the world was ending. He found out more than he expected to, but nevertheless, he had the answer to his original question.
"I found out how the world's ending." Five stated, "It's a Kugelblitz."
As much as you missed your boyfriend, the second those words hit your ears you could feel a tinge of annoyance grow within you. You had asked Five not to seek out Lila. Not to leave you when you knew the two of you could figure it out together. But alas, he asked you again and you let him go. However, in his absence, you figured out what was happening with almost 100 percent certainty. You tried to keep your expression neutral, but your voice conveyed your true feelings as you mentioned,
"I know, I figured it out too. Myself. Here. In this time. All on my own."
It was evident that you were still upset about his decision to leave. He felt bad for leaving, but at the time he believed it was the right choice. Maybe he could've brought you with him, but he didn't think that was the best option. He couldn't see you and Lila getting along. And their method of time travel might've caused you pain. And seeing another version of Five die could've hurt your feelings. And...
Five reached into his pocket and held the ring he had found tightly between his fingers. If you had been there when he had found it, he couldn't have possibly given it to you. It would've been disappointing and not how he wanted that to go.
Five pushed his thoughts to the side. He needed to focus on what was going on now. Treading lightly, he responded,
"I heard. Dean mentioned that you figured out about the Kugelblitz."
"And? Anything else?" You inquired, your tone indicating you were looking for a specific response
Over your shoulder, Five could see as Lucas quickly grabbed a white napkin and marker from behind the bar. Rapidly, he wrote something down before holding up the napkin. There was an intense look on his face as he pointed repeatedly to what he had written down. In bold, black letters the nakin said only one thing.
APOLOGIZE
As the only other person in a serious relationship, Five quickly assumed that Lucas knew how to respond from experience. Also, if anyone knew what to say to you in this situation, it would be one of your other friends. Taking his advice, Five looked back toward you and took one of your hands in his, and with sincerity in his tone, he replied,
"I'm sorry for not listening to you and leaving. You were right, we could've figured it out together."
You blinked a few times in surprise. You wanted him to but didn't expect him to actually apologize for leaving. You looked over your shoulder at some of your friends for confirmation that he really did that, and while Lucas frantically shoved something in his mouth, Addison and Viktoria nodded their heads, letting you know you had heard Five correctly. Turning to look back at him, your lips curled up into a smile and you held his hand a little tighter.
"Oh um, thanks. I appreciate you saying that."
Internally, Five let out a sigh of relief. At least for now, that issue had subsided, but there was so much more he wanted to talk to you about. He tried to start forming words in his mind, but as he did so Allison stepped forward. She hadn't followed Five over here for his and your reunion. She followed to get answers about what was going on, especially since Five had returned with the briefcase destroyed.
"I've had enough of this, are you going to tell us what's going on or not, Five?" Allison remarked, frustration in her tone
Five looked at his sister. She wasn't happy, and she hadn't been for a few days now. It seemed like anything anyone did was infuriating to her, but it's not like she was helping to fix that either. However, even with her unpleasant disposition, she was right. Five needed to explain at least to his siblings what was going on since you had already informed your friends. Letting go of your hand Five walked around to the backside of the bar.
"Yeah, okay." Five replied, "Gather round everyone."
The rest of the Hargreeves and Lila, while still unsure about what just happened, and the random teenagers hanging about, stood around the bar while you and your friends stayed where you were. Grabbing some shot glasses, Five began to pour out drinks for the rest of the group, handing them out one by one to his family and Lila.
This was going to be a hard talk...
Five wondered how you delivered the news to your friends. They seemed so upbeat even when all of existence was disappearing. Then again, from what he knew, your friends respected you far more than his siblings did and probably didn't blame you for something out of your control. Pouring a shot for himself, Five immediately gulped it down. A little bit of liquid courage never hurt, and perhaps it could numb the pain of the verbal pile-on he expected to happen.
"So this Kugelblitz, it's...?" Viktor began to speak
"The end of everything." Five interjected "Every rock, every star, every atom sucked into a radiant black hole. Randomly collapsing matter every moment in time across all existence till nothing's left."
"Oof." Kenny said aloud
You couldn't help but snicker at his comment. You were in a terrible situation but oof was probably the funniest response someone could give to that explanation. It was a simple joke and reminded you of easier times, what was there not to enjoy about it? However, you realized your sentiment wasn't shared as the heads of the Hargreeves and Lila quickly turned to look toward you. The way they looked at you was as if you had laughed at a funeral. Well, given that the end of the world was at hand, you kind of did. Remembering that it was not just you and your friends anymore, you regained your composure and in a more serious tone stated,
"I'm sorry. It's not funny."
You could hear the mumblings of your friends saying they thought it was funny, but the Hargreeves paid no attention as they turned back to Five. Pouring himself another shot, he looked into his glass, stared at his reflection in the liquid, and mentioned,
"Hate to say I told you so, but..."
"You love to say I told you so." Viktor retorted back
"You know, it's impressive." Lila began to speak, setting her still-full glass down on the bar
The attention of you and your friends turned to Lila as she spoke, but the lighthearted vibe that was present between you all just a moment ago was quickly replaced with one of anger and resentment. The Hargreeves and Lila could feel the tension grow in the air as the chattering of you and your friends went silent. You all watched Lila, with expressions ranging from neutral to judgemental to disgusted. Nevertheless, Lila finished her statement saying,
"Whoever knocked off your mums hated you all enough to end the entire universe."
Lila's remark instantly sent anger through your system. If her comment was a gunshot your response was the ricochet. You couldn't speak for the mothers of the umbrellas since they did technically sell their children, but your mom, and by extension of what had happened, your dad, didn't deserve to die. They were the best people you knew.  Before you could even realize you had done it, Lila's shot glass exploded in front of her. Tiny shards of glass flew outward in the area catching everyone's attention. You didn't look at anyone, but you could feel their gazes on you.
"Fucking bitch." Addison muttered as she reached to hold your hand
Taking her hand, you held it tightly, as you held the beginnings of tears back. You took deep breaths and tried your best to keep them quiet. You had to keep a strong face. You could be upset, but you couldn't cry. If you did, Lila would probably take it as a win against you and your friends would see it as a reason to start a fight. And neither of those things you needed.
Some of your friends however were already willing to start a fight. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Dean step away from the wall he was leaning against, his expression angry and his eyes trained on Lila. But before he could walk over to her you used your powers to gently shove him back against it. Looking at him you thought,
Don't do it.
He looked back at you, still obviously disgruntled, but with arms crossed over his chest, he leaned back against the wall. You could hear it in your head as he thought,
Fine.
As Addison held your hand, and some of your other friends whispered comments to each other, Kenny walked over to you and poured some of the liquor from the bottle he was drinking from into your glass. Your friends' actions were small but they meant a lot to you.
There was a silence as everyone glanced around at each other waiting for who would be next to speak. Viktor looked between you and Lila. Between Lila's comment and your reaction to it, there was no safe way for him to bring up what Harlan had shown him. And that wasn't even including the reactions everyone else would have if Viktor did say something. He needed to do something to get the conversation away from where it was headed and to lessen the tension in the air. Trying to divert the topic, Viktor hesitantly said,
"We- we don't know that Lila..."
"It doesn't matter who created the thing." Allison stated firmly "We just have to kick its ass."
"Oh really? How?" Luther questioned sarcastically "Are you and Diego gonna punch it in the Kugel?"
Allison shot back a glare at Luther, but it was quickly ignored as he could feel the presence of someone behind him. Turning back, he saw the boy from the bowling alley who looked like him standing there. The boy nervously fidgeted with a stack of paper in his hands as he shyly greeted,
"H-hi Luther."
Luther couldn't remember this kid's name in the slightest. all he knew was that he looked like him and was one of your friends.
"Ah, it's...you." Luther said awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed "Bowling alley kid."
"It's Lucas." Lucas stated, reminding Luther of his name
"Right." Luther replied
The memories were vague, but he was starting to remember more of that night at the bowling alley. However, the only thing that came to mind was the numerous similarities the two of them shared. It was slightly unsettling, but there wasn't much either of them could do about that. Luther waited for Lucas to say something, but instead, Lucas stared up at Luther with a smile. Trying to figure out what was going on here, Luther asked,
"Can I help you with something?"
"Oh uh- yes!" Lucas replied, remembering why he approached Luther
Lucas looked down at the adoption papers in his hands. You had helped him forge the signatures of Luther and Sloane last night, before making a copy of the documents and filing them away in city hall. It wasn't the most ethical way of going about things, but it made Lucas happy. He had new parents! This was all he ever wanted. Even with his excitement, nervousness still filled him. Lucas had to tell Luther that he was his parent now, and he wasn't sure what to say. This had only come to fruition last night, and instead of preparing he was busy doing other things.
"I- wow, I really thought I'd get more time to prepare for this but uh-" Lucas stuttered
"Lucas, the world is ending. Spit it out." Luther requested
"YOU'RE LEGALLY MY DAD NOW!" Lucas loudly proclaimed
The heads of the Hargreeves snapped to look over at the two tall blonds. Most reactions were that of confusion, but Allison's face morphed with rage. First Diego gets a child and now Luther too? What was next? You and Five picking a baby off the street? It wasn't fair. She had Claire, her daughter, and she couldn't be with her! But everyone else got to be a parent? It was wrong. Angrily, Allison drank from her glass, her gaze boring into Luther's back as he stood there unmoving.
Lucas looked at Luther, silently waiting for him to say something. Anything. But nothing came. It's not that Luther didn't want to reply, he just couldn't formulate any thoughts. And instead of saying anything of meaning, he could only manage to get out a simple,
"What?"
"Don't worry though!" Lucas quickly explained "Your girlfriend, Sloane, she's legally my mom. It's all in here."
Lucas held out the adoption papers for Luther to take, and after a moment of hesitation, he did. Quickly he flipped through the documents, but to his surprise, they were legitimate. Even Luther's signature looked correct. Luther didn't know how this happened, but he couldn't be Lucas' father. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even have a good example of what to do either. And anyway, he saw how poorly Diego was doing with Stan, and he didn't want to be like that. Lucas seemed like a good kid, but Luther wasn't sure if he could take on this responsibility. Especially not with the world ending. Trying to let Lucas down nicely, Luther began,
"Listen, I-"
Seeing where Luther's response was going, you pulled yourself together and cut him off as you interjected,
"Lucas, can I speak to Luther real quick?"
"Oh, sure!" Lucas replied
Politely, you pulled Luther off to the side away from the bar. Using your powers you controlled the molecules around you, creating a sound barrier to stop anyone from hearing your conversation. With your back facing the group, you looked up at Luther with a serious look on your face and began,
"Luther, you better listen up because I am only going to say this once. That sweet angel of a boy has been through hell, sometimes worse than you did, in TWO timelines, to get to this moment."
Luther's eyebrows furrowed as he processed what you said. Lucas went through hell sometimes worse than Luther ever did? That was a serious statement to make.
"What happened?" Luther asked, cutting you off
You grimaced. Although the only one who could see so was Luther. All the times Lucas came to you for help because of what he had gone through with Austin ran through your mind. It hurt you to remember your friend's pain.
"I can't tell you exactly what happened. I promised him I wouldn't, but it was badand he didn't deserve it..." You replied quietly, a slight tremble in your voice
Luther looked at you and your pained expression before looking behind you at Lucas. Noticing Luther look his way, Lucas smiled brightly and waved excitedly, completely unaware of what Luther had just learned. He seemed like such a nice, happy kid. No one would ever guess something bad happened to him.
"He's my friend. I care about him and his happiness so much." You stated firmly, a hint of pain still in your tone "So if you break his heart, I will kill you in the most painful way possible and then go tell Sloane you did something so heinous the only option was to kill you. Are we clear?"
Luther turned his attention away from Lucas and back to you. Luther did not want to die by your hand. If you said you'd make it painful, you meant it. And on top of that, he didn't want Sloane to think poorly of him. But most of all, Luther didn't want to hurt Lucas, who he now saw some of himself in beyond just appearance. The world was ending, and currently, they had no plan to stop that, so he could at least try to do something good. Luther nodded his head at your words, and seeing his acknowledgment, in a more positive voice with an undertone of violence, you replied,
"Good. Now go be a better father than yours was."
Luther grimaced slightly at your words. You weren't wrong, but it still hurt. Nevertheless, he was going to do what he was told because there was still an undercurrent of violence radiating off of you. Carefully stepping away, he made his way back toward Lucas, who looked up at him excitedly. Luther stared back at him blankly as he wondered what to say. As you had stated, he didn't have a good father. What does a good dad say to their kid? Luther couldn't say I love you because that would be weird to say to a teenage boy he just met again, even if legally it was his son. He could probably say he's proud of him though, right? That's something Reginald never said so it had to be something a good dad would say. Then again, Luther didn't know what there was to be proud of, he was literally pushed into this role less than a minute ago.
"So...son...you have any recent accomplishments..?" Luther asked, still trying to figure out what to be proud of
Lucas was silent for a moment after hearing the question. Neither Austin nor Meredith ever asked him about his accomplishments. They may have birthed him and raised him, but for seventeen years they never cared about him. And yet here, barely one minute after telling Luther he was now his father, he asked about what he had accomplished. It was his first question to him as his dad. And on top of that, he called him son. Not Lucas. Son. Tears began to form in Lucas' eyes as his hands clenched into fists to hide the shaking that was starting to happen. He was happy and sad and everything that could fall in between, but if he burst into tears it would ruin this first moment. He couldn't do that, time was finite. He had to make this count. He looked over at Addison, his one and only, and smiled. She was his home. She was where he felt safe. She was his everything. And having her by his side was his greatest achievement. Looking back at the man he now called dad, he gestured over toward her as he happily exclaimed,
"I got married last night! My girlfriend is now my wife!"
Well, that wasn't what Luther was expecting, and by the looks on the rest of his siblings' faces, they surely didn't expect it either. Lucas and his...wife...seemed a bit young but, nevertheless, marriage is a nice thing so Luther could be proud of that.
"Congrats, son. I am proud of you." Luther said in an awkward but supportive tone before looking at Addison and adding "And hello...daughter-in-law."
"Hi, Luther." Addison replied politely "Ignore my friend puking. She's not sick anymore she's just so excited to finally meet Viktor."
"I'm going to talk to Lucas again now." Luther said unsure how to respond to that
"What? Me?" Viktor questioned
"Vi, don't be weird. Say hello." Addison encouraged
Looking up from her trash bin, Viktoria's eyes met Viktor's as she excitedly stated,
"Hi. I'm Viktoria! I was Viktor a long time ago but I'm not Viktor now, I'm Viktoria but you're Viktor so we're like the same and that's cool!"
Immediately after finishing her statement though, Viktoria once again puked into her bin from excitement. However, excitement was not the word Viktor would use to describe this meeting. Instead, a few different descriptors came to mind. Bewilderment. Concern. Deja vu. Overall, everything after Five and Lila's return had been confusing and concerning but looking into the face of a teenager who looked exactly like Viktor when he was younger. Now that was something else. And on top of it, he didn't understand anything of what they had just said.
"I'm sorry what?" Viktor asked looking for clarity
"Oh uh, Viktoria is transgender like you and your current name is her old name. Y'know Viktor, Viktoria, they're very similar so she's excited." Addison explained, "You're her hero."
"How?" Viktor questioned confused before quieting their tone stating "Nobody knew about me until my book."
Picking her head back up from the bin Viktoria replied,
"That's not true! I saw you in the background or off to the side of interviews the Umbrella Academy did. I picked up the viola because I saw you had a string instrument case on you in one of them!  I practiced the viola every day. I owned and memorized your book in three languages. I did a whole report on you in middle school!"
"I hated that project." You chimed in
"Yeah, yeah. Broken hand, emotional trauma, we already know." Viktoria retorted before continuing, "Anyway, I wanted to be just like you."
"Really?" Viktor inquired
"Yeah! Of course!" Viktoria replied sincerely, "You're my hero."
A small smile came to Viktor's face. It was nice to know that someone looked up to him even before he figured out about his powers again. And in a way, even though this was someone else saying these things, it felt like a younger version of himself telling him he was worth it even before everything that happened.
While the emotional bonding between some of your friends and the Hargreeves was happening, it had no effect on Five. He stopped paying attention to what was transpiring after he heard Lucas state that he and Addison got married. Five wasn't shocked by their young age, nor the short time frame in which they were reunited and then married. He was just surprised that a wedding had occurred. It felt like the universe was sending him gut punch after gut punch when it came to marriage. The hallucination, the ballroom, the ring, and now this! He didn't know if the universe was trying to push him in a direction or just down an emotional spike pit. Still in disbelief Five restated aloud,
"They're married?"
"They sure are! I married them last night!" Kenny exclaimed
Five looked from Kenny over to Lucas and Addison. There was love in their eyes as they looked at each other. They had no cares except each other even if the world was ending. Five couldn't help but feel a jolt of jealousy run through him. It wasn't fair that he was burdened with saving the world while everyone else got to do as they pleased. But these were your friends and it felt wrong to be upset at their happiness. In an effort to hide his feelings, Five picked up his drink taking a big sip of the liquor within. But as he did so Kenny spoke up commenting,
"Why are you and (Y/N) looking to get married? I'm legally ordained, I can marry you two right now."
Hearing those words, Five began to choke on his drink, and whiskey, a drink that typically would go down smooth, did anything but. Five's mind darted all over the place as he processed Kenny's words. Married? Now? No, you couldn't. He hadn't proposed. But he had a ring in his pocket. So he could. Surrounded by friends and family is kind of romantic, right? But he just announced the end of the world, and that certainly wasn't. And this was nothing like he planned in his head. But if the world kept sending him signs maybe the two of you should just bite the bullet? As his mind raced and he coughed on his drink, his eyes darted over toward you trying to gauge your reaction. However, he was only met with a look of concern probably because he was literally and metaphorically choking. With no context clues from you on how to respond, Five stuttered, trying to get any response out,
I- uh- well- we-"
"Kenny! This is the seventh time you've done this in the past day!" Bren reprimanded, smacking the back of Kenny's head "Stop asking people if they want to get married!"
Relieved by Bren cutting him off, Five managed to pull himself together. This was going terribly. He could anticipate the way his siblings reacted to situations or the types of comments they would make, but he couldn't say the same for your friends. Glancing over at you again, he saw as you calmly sipped from your glass watching your two friends bicker.
"What! Nothing speeds up major life decisions like the end of everything!" Kenny replied exasperated at Bren's disapproval
"Some of them weren't even couples!" Bren shot back
You were completely unaffected by this. It was honestly impressive. Then again this is what you dealt with for years, you must've been used to it by now. But as you lowered your glass he noticed something else. You smiled. Curious, he leaned closer to you and asked,
"You're happy they're fighting?"
"They're best friends, it's not fighting to them." You replied taking another sip from your glass "And there's comfort in the chaos."
"How so?" Five inquired
"It's familiar." You answered, "Reminds me of times before well...y'know."
"Oh." Five said aloud "Right."
Five's eyes averted your gaze and his head turned slightly to look away from you. Perhaps it was unconscious to him, but you could sense the shift in his demeanor. Placing your hand on his cheek you gently turned his face to look at you. You could feel as he leaned into your touch. It seemed that with every curveball life threw at him he needed these small gestures of affection more and more, and you would never deny him the love he both needed and deserved. With his gaze returning to you, you looked back at him softly.
"They're here and you're here, and that's all I want at this point." You cooed "So stop worrying about me and put that smart brain of yours toward coming up with a plan."
"I can never stop worrying about you." Five replied gently
"Maybe you should." Allison jabbed "Do you even have a plan, Five?"
The harsh comment caught the attention of everyone else as they all turned their gazes to Five. However, Five looked toward his sister, an irritated look was plastered across her face. He knew what her problem was, but he felt no reason to engage with her. If she didn't want to accept reality and blame it on everyone else that was her problem to deal with. Not Five's. Turning away from his sister, he looked at the wider crowd around the bar.
"Well, the best plan is to go back in time and eliminate the paradox and destroy whatever it was that took out our mothers and stop the Kugelblitz before it starts," Five explained, "But we can't do that. Briefcase is kaput."
"And why the hell can't you just jump us out of here?" Allison complained
"Last time I tried that, we all got trapped in time. Do you really wanna risk that again?" Five questioned back
Leaning over to Addison and Viktoria, you lowered your voice as you told them,
"I'd risk it if you guys could come this time."
"Let's go to a timeline where Spider-Man is real and falls instantly in love with you." Viktoria jokingly whispered back
"Jeez, Viktoria wants to see a fight." Addison quietly chimed in
"A fight? Viktoria wants to see a homicide." You quietly shot back
"Well, do you want to see a homicide?" Addison teasingly inquired
Your eyes darted over to your boyfriend as you recalled the time you and he killed the board of directors for the commission. The way he was covered in blood and the determined look in his eyes. God, he was so hot. Honestly, part of you wanted to see what he was like jealous. And the thought of him getting in a fight over you? Well, now that was appealing. You were surely willing to lose Spider-Man if you got to see that. With a smirk on your face, you looked back at Addison and Viktoria as you replied unseriously,
"Whaaat? Noooo...that would be crazy."
The three of you attempted to stifle your laughter so as not to distract the Hargreeves from their incessant bickering over what to do now. But as you tried to enjoy the moment with your friends, Dean noticed a trio of figures heading toward the bar. Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, and some random kid, who he could only assume was Diego's oops baby. Whatever joy he may have felt from seeing his friends having a good time together disappeared the moment he saw Diego's stupid face. Instead, anger began to build up inside Dean as he recalled the things you had told him that Diego had done recently that upset you. He knew he was the better brother. He had never done anything to hurt you like Diego had and one way or another, he was going to make Diego recognize how badly he fucked up. As the trio finally arrived at the bar, and Diego walked up beside Lila, Dean commented sarcastically,
"Wow, what a surprise. The deadbeat actually showed up."
"Mine didn't..." Kenny mentioned
"This isn't about you, Kenny." Dean replied
While Dean's comments didn't phase your friends, some sideways glances were sent Dean's way including one from you. However, unlike the Hargreeves, your glance was that of concern.
Dean was...passionate.
He felt things very deeply and had a tendency to express his feelings openly. And he wasn't one to shy away from an argument either. Or a fight.
You hoped that his comment was a one-off jab, but knowing him you'd have to keep a watchful eye out. 
As Stan stood next to Diego, he looked around at the people around the bar. Some of the faces were familiar to him but there were a number that he had never seen before. Looking to Diego, Stan asked,
"Who are all these people?"
"Oh, and he brought the sentient jizz stain too." Dean remarked
Like the rest of his siblings, Diego gave another sideways glance toward Dean. However, unlike the disbelief on their faces, Diego's reaction was more disgruntled. He couldn't recall much of this kid, but he knew one thing, he was your friend. Looking around the bar, to much relief, he saw you sitting across the way.
Your eyes caught Diego's for a moment, and from his face, you knew what he was looking at you for, and unsurprisingly, it wasn't the fact that you were missing for almost two days. There was no sense of concern on his face, only an annoyed look as his eyes flicked over to Dean before looking back at you. Pretending not to have noticed his gaze, you summoned Viktoria's phone which you had dropped earlier, to your hand and began to start scrolling through it again. You felt no incentive to stop Dean's comments because honestly, you co-signed his sentiments. You couldn't make comments like his without stirring the waters between all the Hargreeves, but Dean could make his comments freely without causing too much interpersonal drama. So unless you felt like he was about to get hurt, there was no reason for you to intervene.
Lila however, did not appreciate Dean's comments. Turning around to look at him, she criticized,
"Hey, don't be mean to my kid."
"Hey, nobody asked Wrong Direction." Dean replied, mocking her tone "And for your information, nobody here believes that the sex trophy- no- participation award- is actually yours."
Lila's eyes darted around the rest of your friend group, only to be met with disgusted glares or smug smirks. Did you all know the truth? Did you know that Stan wasn't her or Diego's child? Or was it only a comment made to catch her off guard? Either way, there was a slight unease at the thought that made her keep quiet. But before she could think of something to say, Klaus walked up to the bar, grabbing a glass out of Five's hand, as he stated,
"Gimme that."
"What happened to you?" Five questioned, looking at the blood on his shirt
"Oh, just a speargun to the chest. I died. No big deal." Klaus replied
"Oh neat! Did you meet the girl on the bike?" Kenny asked
"No, thankfully I didn't have to deal with her," Klaus answered, taking a sip from the glass
But as he drank, he realized the voice that had asked the question was unfamiliar. It didn't belong to one of his siblings, or you, or Lila. Placing his glass down he looked over to where the unknown voice came from only to be met with a teen boy who looked just like Klaus in his youth. It took a moment, but through his resurrection haze, he vaguely recognized the boy as the one from years ago at the bowling alley. Klaus paused for a moment. The little girl on the bike, aka god, could only be met on the other side. Not even ghosts who stuck around on this plane of existence knew who she was. So how did this kid, who was very much alive, know of her?
"I'm sorry- how do you know god?" Klaus questioned
"I've met her. I see her sometimes when I pass out at parties. She adores me." Kenny replied enthusiastically
Kenny's response left Klaus with more questions than answers. This kid met god? And multiple times at that? How? He would've had to die to have met god. Did he die? Was this kid also immortal somehow? And what did he mean by she adores him? Klaus' experiences with her were filled with annoyance, so why was he welcome?
"I have follow-up questions," Klaus stated aloud
"This isn't about you, Klaus." Diego interjected, before looking at Lila and asking "What did we miss?"
"The universe is ending, and we're all going to die," Lila answered
"You say it as if it isn't your fault..." Dean scoffed
Diego's head whipped over to look at Dean. He had only made a few comments, but those few were more than enough, and Diego was tired of his shit. Trying to get an answer for his actions, Diego stepped up toward Dean and snapped,
"What is your deal?"
Dean scowled at Diego and rage burned inside him. Dean hated Diego for all the ways he had upset you. He hated him for forgetting Eudora once she died. He hated him for hooking up with the first person who gave him attention after Eudora's death. He hated him for being stupid and getting said person knocked up. He hated him for abandoning you consistently throughout that process when you needed him now more than ever. He hated that even through all of that he had the gall to still consider himself a brother to you. But most of all, he hated that he actually looked up to such a degenerate scumbag for so long. Taking a step toward Diego, with fire in his eyes and vile in his tone, Dean shouted back,
"My deal is that you've got a lot of nerve showing up here, fucking Benedict Arnold."
And with that, it was time for you to intervene because whatever was coming after this wasn't going to be pretty. Flashing over to Dean, you placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back a few steps. Lowering your voice, you asked,
"What are you trying to do? Start a turf war in the middle of this shithole?"
"No, I'm saying what needs to be said," Dean replied before raising his voice and loudly stating "But I wouldn't mind getting a few swings on the infidelity duo over there."
"Stop that." You chastised "You're going to get hurt."
"No I won't," Dean refuted "With you I'm already on the winning side."
Dean was right, if he got in a fight with Diego you would take his side. And on top of that if you could solo all the Sparrows you could 100% take down all the Umbrellas. Well...so long as you beat Viktor to the punch, but that wasn't important. No matter how capable of a fighter Dean was, and he was capable, you didn't want him to get hurt.
"Dean no," You said pushing him a little further from Diego and Lila "Just take the high ground. Please."
Dean was your twin brother, and if you made a decision or suggestion, he was always the first to accept and respect it. If he backed down now then hopefully Diego would resign himself as well. You watched as Dean looked at you, his face softened upon seeing your pleading gaze. Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, he looked at you sincerely as he replied,
"No."
Your pleading look turned to confusion as Dean sidestepped you and locked eyes on Diego. Marching over to him with his gaze unbreaking, Dean's rage came back in full swing as he angrily shouted,
"Fuck you Diego Hargreeves you traitorous ass bitch! I regret looking up to a two-faced adulterous prick like you. I hope you constantly stub your toe. I hope your dick falls off. I hope all of your knife attacks miss even with your bitch ass powers. I hope your pet sperm right there is a lifelong disappointment like you. I hope you ruin your life and don't realize it until it's too late you snake-ass No Belt Prize-winning whore."
You look at Dean in disbelief. He rarely even went against you, especially not after the incident when you were seventeen. However, it seemed that currently, his emotions were stronger than his judgment. You readied yourself to jump between the two of them, but you paused as you felt tension fill the air. It wasn't the type of tension that came from people disagreeing though. No, this was the tension that built before something snapped.
"(Y/N), are you gonna do anything about him?" Diego angrily asked
You didn't respond. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you sensed something growing in energy. Slowly, you turned your head to look in the direction of the sensation only to be met with a terrible omen. You saw as the molecules around you began to vibrate faster and faster and faster. More than they typically did. A knot formed in the pit of your stomach as you stared down the danger heading your way.
Breaking his gaze on Diego, Dean looked at you. Immediately, he clocked the way your hands shook at your sides and the slight staggering of your breathing. Were you okay?
"(Y/N)?" Dean called concerned
You couldn't respond. You couldn't move. You couldn't do anything except prepare for what was coming. And while no words escaped your lips, you only had one thought,
Help.
Hearing your thought, Dean pushed Diego out of the way and as another wave of the Kugelblitz hit you and you began to collapse to the floor, Dean caught you from behind and brought you to the ground. The pain was searing as you now lay on the ground, your head resting in Dean's lap. The energy of the wave ripped at you causing the prior gashes on your cheek and hand to reopen, while new ones formed on your forearm and collarbone. Blood seeped from the wounds as you looked up at Dean for help. You tried to speak but your breath caught in your throat. No. It wasn't just caught. 
You couldn't breathe. 
Fear filled your eyes as you attempted to gasp for air only to be met with nothing. Dean held your face in his hands, fear reflected in his eyes as he watched you struggle. His mind raced back to that day in the warehouse. He couldn't let that happen again. Looking up, with a tremble in his voice, Dean called out,
"Guys h-help."
But by the time he had finished his plea the rest of your friends were already surrounding you. Kneeling in a circle on the ground, your friends' bodies unintentionally created a wall keeping others away from you, including that of Five. He tried to get close, tried to kneel by your side like the rest of them, but there was just no space. And so, he was relegated to just standing and watching in fear as you struggled against something completely out of his control. 
As fear coursed through the veins of all your friends, Kenny knew he had to do something. Of course he was scared for you, you were his friend, but he couldn't let his fear get in the way of helping you. He was the most qualified in this situation after all. Taking a deep breath he calmed his nerves, and as he had done many times before in his EMT job, he quickly began to control the situation. He first looked toward Bren, who was kneeling to the left of him, and commanded,
"Grab my bag. Now."
Quickly, Bren pulled out one of his whips and snapped it towards the medbag that Kenny had miraculously brought in with him. Snagging the bag's handle, Bren pulled his whip back toward him. With the medbag in hand, he passed it over to Kenny who immediately opened it. 
As Kenny put on a pair of latex gloves, he looked at Addison and directed,
"You need to get her to breathe. I don't have the supplies to monitor her this time if she loses consciousness again."
With a quick nod of her head, Addison turned her attention back toward you. Hesitantly, Dean removed his hands from the sides of your face as he now let Addison hold it. Your eyes were glassy from the lack of oxygen, but the fear behind him as you fought to stay conscious was ever-present. Gently, she maneuvered your head to meet her gaze and when your eyes were focused on her she stated,
"(Y/N), I need you to breathe. It can be a gulp, it can be a gasp, but you need to breathe. NOW."
As her words hit your ears and you saw the serious look in her eye you felt compelled to do what she said. Pushing through the pain, you found the strength within yourself to breathe. Taking in large gasping breaths, the world came into more focus, but each breath felt like a dozen knives cutting into your lungs. You wondered if death would be less painful than this.
Your thought didn't matter though as Kenny had already decided that you were not dying today. With you finally managing to breathe he began the process of quickly fixing you up. Using a large rubber band, he tied it tightly just above your elbow to cut the circulation of blood off and stop the gash on your forearm from bleeding out. With the largest problem mitigated for now, he used alcohol wipes to clean up the blood and disinfect your other open wounds before placing medical tape over them.
You let out a scream as the alcohol stung your gashes. The world was already tearing you to shreds from the inside and the sting of the alcohol, although minor in comparison, hurt like a bitch when combined with the pain of the wave.
"Hold on to my arm. You can grip it til the pain stops." Lucas encouraged as he switched spots with Addison
Your hand shakily moved to grab his arm, but you hesitated for a moment. If you grabbed him, it was going to be tight. The pain was unyielding. You didn't want to bruise him. You thought,
 I don't want to hurt him.
Dean looked away from you for only a moment as he met Lucas' eye and informed him,
"She doesn't want to hurt you."
Lucas looked away from Dean and back toward you. Taking your hand, he placed it on his arm. He knew why you of all people would hesitate, but you were always there for him when he was hurting and now he was going to do the same for you. With sincerity in his tone, Lucas stated,
"(Y/N), you could never hurt me."
 You gave him a weak smile, but tears fell from your eyes as you internally begged for this to be over. With each wave, the time between starting and stopping increased, just as the intensity of the pain you felt grew too. You shut your eyes tightly, but opened them again as you felt someone wipe away your tears. You looked up at Dean who, just like when this ordeal started, held your face gently in his hands.
"You're gonna be okay. I'm here. I'm he-here this time. I'm gonna k-keep you safe. I swear." Dean comforted as he tried to choke back sobs, "Just keep your eyes open. Please just keep your eyes open." 
With the hand that wasn't holding Lucas' arm, you shakily reached up and wiped your brother's tears away. 
"You're the one in pain, y-you shouldn't be worried about us." Dean slightly joked, his voice still wavering
Through gritted teeth, you managed to smile slightly. You loved your friends so much. They meant everything to you and in a time like this, where they all worried for you, you needed them to know.
"I...love...you guys." You managed to get out, "Don't...let...me go."
"We could never let you go." Vitoria responded
"Yeah, you matter far too much." Addison added
"You're our glitter glue, remember?" Lucas reminded "You keep us together."
"Not just that, you're our family." Kenny mentioned
"If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be us." Bren stated
"We love you." Dean replied, "Never forget that."
Even through the fear and the sadness, you could see the beginnings of smiles on your friends' faces. You could feel as they all got closer and each of them tried to hold some part of you. You could feel it as the wave became stronger again. It was finally returning. Even though it hadn't been more than a minute or two it felt like forever, but you could feel that this would be over soon. You closed your eyes tightly and focused on the feeling of your friends surrounding you as the wave finally went past. And when it stopped everything around you felt...lighter. 
Opening your eyes, you took a deep breath and fortunately, it didn't feel like you were being pierced repeatedly anymore. You didn't have the strength in you to stand yet, but you did manage to get yourself to kneel. With your mind no longer focused on the pain you felt, you looked for your friends, but they were nowhere to be found. All that you could immediately see were the shocked or horror-filled faces of the Hargreeves. Why were they looking at you like that? You looked up at Five, his jaw was slightly agape and sadness swirled in his eyes. Looking down at yourself, you saw blood stains and gauze litter your body. Oh. He was probably so worried about you. Turning your gaze back to Five, you gave him a weak smile.
"It's not that bad. Kenny can take care of it." You comforted before looking around and asking, "Where is he? Where are my friends?"
Five's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as he heard your question. How could he look you in the eyes and tell you that all of your friends were gone? As you struggled with the pain of the kugel wave, he watched as all of your friends got blitzed. Quickly, quietly, and god, hopefully painlessly they vanished. How could he explain this without breaking your heart?
"Love...they..." Five tried to speak
He stopped. He couldn't get the words out. 
"What?" You questioned concerned "Where are they?"
"Ma cherie..." He replied mournfully
His lack of response worried you. Frantically, you began to look around the area for your friends again, but you still couldn't see any of them. It wouldn't be like them to leave your side when you were injured. They had never done so before. They always stayed closed until they knew you were okay. Where were they? Using your powers you tried to sense their molecules, but there were only faint traces in the area from loose hairs and skin cells. Your head whipped back and forth in a panic searching for any sign of them when you saw a glint out of the corner of your eye. You reached back for the sparking object, took it in your hand, and turned to look down upon it. There in the palm of your hand was a set of car keys.
Dean's car keys.
His car was his prized possession. Veronica was his baby. He never forgot his keys. He never lost his keys. He never went anywhere without his keys. But if these were here and he wasn't...
Oh god...
No.
A blood-curdling scream erupted from your throat as you clenched the keys against your chest. They were gone. They were gone and it was all your fault. You bought them here to keep them all safe and now you had none of them. Your body hunched over as you gasped for breath between your screams and sobs. Your face was red as tears streamed down in messy streaks with nowhere to go except the floor where your friends' once kneeled at your side.
Dropping to his knees, Five wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into him. He held you as tight as he could and ran a gentle hand through your hair as he tried to soothe you. His efforts didn't do much at all though, and how could he expect them to? If he was in your place, if it was you that he lost, he'd be inconsolable. 
"THEY PROMISED!" You shouted grief-stricken "THEY PROMISED WE'D STAY TOGETHER!!!"
"I'm sorry my love." Five tried to comfort "I'm so sorry."
Looking at your boyfriend, you tightly grabbed his jacket, the material balling in your hands as you begged,
"Baby, bring them back. Please."
"I- I can't..." Five sorrowfully replied
"Yes you can! Just reverse time! Bring them back!" You cried
If Five could've brought your friends back, he would've done it already. The sight of you in so much emotional distress was somehow more painful than seeing the way the kugel waves affected you. In either case, he had no control over what happened, but he wished he did.
"I can't...I used all my energy to get back here." Five lamented "And even if I could, I can't stop the kugel wave from happening."
You could feel your chest tighten and another piece of your ever-fragile heart shatter as you struggled with the fact that you got your friends back only to lose them again. Pain morphed into anger as you pushed Five away shouting,
"WHAT GOOD ARE TIME POWERS IF YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING USE THEM!"
Your words stung and it hurt Five that you pushed him away, but he knew that you were only acting out of grief. You didn't mean it, you were just hurt.
Quickly, your anger came and went as the feeling of overwhelming grief returned. Dropping Dean's keys on the ground in front of you, you threw your head into your hands as you let out another mix of uncontrollable sobs and anguish-filled screams. As you cried the lights in the area began to flicker and nearby objects rattled in their place.
Seeing the disturbance in the area, Stan, who was already on edge from accidentally killing Klaus and witnessing a bunch of people disappear, became frightened. Looking up at Diego, he said nervously,
"Dad, I'm scared."
Hearing Stan speak, you looked over in the direction of his voice. Oh? He was scared? What did he have to be scared of? He wasn't the one bleeding out, nor the one who just lost six loved ones. You were. If anyone was scared and in need of comfort, it was YOU.  You saw as Diego looked at you. There was concern on his face and for a moment you thought he would come over to you. But then he looked at Stan behind him and you watched as Diego, literally and figuratively, turned his back on you to hug Stanley. And in that moment, something in you broke as you realized you had no family left. 
Diego knew that you were the cause of the flickering lights and shaking objects. Occasionally,  when your emotions became too extreme it caused your powers to affect the world around you. He needed to calm you down, and things would return to normal. Letting go of Stan, Diego looked at him and comforted,
"It'll be okay. Just give me a second."
Turning from Stan, Diego began to walk over to you. Your face was wet from tears, but adrenaline rushed through your veins as he approached. You couldn't stand to be near him. Fury outweighed your body's weak unease as you began to push yourself to your feet. Seeing you try to stand, Diego took  your arm to help you up, but you quickly shook him off as you demanded,
"Don't touch me!"
"I just want to help," Diego explained
"No! Go away!" You yelled
"Let me just-" Diego began to say as he tried to take your arm once more
Like a storm in your mind, waves of emotions all clashed together. Sadness. Grief. Betrayal. Anger. Abandonment. Mixing together they were a recipe for unimaginable sorrow. You weren't just hurt, you were broken. Why did Diego want to help you now? He didn't rush to your side, like Five or your friends, when the wave hit. He didn't hold you and tell you you'll be okay as the world ripped you apart. He didn't comfort you as you realized all your friends were gone. He did none of those things. But you knew who would've.
Your dad.
You were his little anomaly. His perfect little girl. Your dad loved you so dearly and if he was here he would've been by your side already. How dare Diego, in the aftermath of everything, now decide to come over to you. How dare he now decide you were important enough to help. You didn't want his help! You didn't want him! You wanted your dad! Rage, strengthened by your grief, engulfed you as you shouted harshly,
"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD, DIEGO!"
A heavy silence fell over the group as your words echoed through the area. As you finally managed to get to your feet, you bent down and picked up the roll of gauze from Kenny's med bag. You refused to look at Diego and instead opted to wrap up the wave-induced gash on your forearm, but all Diego could look at was you.
A clenching feeling formed in his chest as your words rang through his head. Diego knew he wasn't your dad. He never touted himself as such and yet your words hurt him more than anything his own father had ever said to him. You only said it because you were lashing out, right? You were upset about your friends and so you were lashing out at others? That had to be it. Diego saw you lash out at Five, and you loved Five, so you were probably just lashing out at him too. Taking a step toward you, Diego reassured,
"I just want to take care of you..."
As Diego took a step forward, you took a step back. Finally looking at him you could see the hurt in his eyes. For a moment you felt your anger falter, but as you processed what he had just said, the flame reignited.
"Oh, now you wanna take care of me?" You question sarcastically before gesturing to Stan and Lila "How about you go take care of Stan because apparently the random kid that shows up out of nowhere looking nothing like you OR Lila is more important than the one you fucking raised!"
"Princess..." Diego cooed
"No! You don't get to call me that and expect me to just- to just run into your arms and say it's okay!" You rebuked before angrily questioning "Don't you understand why I'm upset?"
Of course he knew why you were upset, especially after the comment you had just made. It was the same reason that you were upset this whole past week. It had to be about Lila. Yes, she did try to kill you, and yes, she did show up out of nowhere again a few days ago, but a reaction this large seemed a bit much.
"Prin-(Y/N), is this about Lila again?" Diego asked
Lila? He thought this was about Lila? Sure, she tried to kill you which was annoying, and yeah, she did show up again without any real consequences for her actions, but this wasn't about her. And in that moment, you came to realize that none of it was ever really about her. These feelings took root not through her actions, but his.
"Oh my god! It was never about Lila! It was about YOU!" You snapped at him "God forbid I didn't want to see you as a bad person. I wanted a reason, a scapegoat, something to explain your shitty actions!" 
Your statement took Diego aback. What did you mean this was about him? What had he done? He was so confused, but he wasn't the only one confused either. Five looked over to Lila who was already looking over at him. She tilted her head to the side with a confused look on her face as if to ask him for clarity, but all Five could do was shrug. This was a new development for him too. Granted, it's not like you two had the time to talk about it either, but nevertheless, he knew nothing about this.
"I don't understand." Diego replied confused
You thought back on memories with Diego. So many of them that had once brought you joy or comfort now felt different. They felt tainted. You didn't know if you were finally seeing clearly or if your pain was causing you to look at them in a bad light. And then you thought about the day that Diego and Eudora split. How she wanted him to stop trying to be a hero and to focus on their relationship, and he refused. His desire to be a hero trumped his desire to be with her. All this time, did he ever actually care about you or was he only concerned about being viewed as a hero in someone's eyes? Lila was giving him the attention he had wanted from Eudora, and as of late, he seemed to focus more on Stan because Stan was focused on him. Your burning anger flattened into a calm rage. Your heart rate slowed, you straightened your posture, and your face showed no clear emotion as you looked Diego in the eye.
"I do. I see it so clearly now." You explained monotonously "You don't care about me anymore."
"What?! Of course, I do!" Diego exclaimed
Of course, he cared about you. Why would you say such a thing? You were his little sister. His princess! He had always cared about you. He didn't know what he had done to make you think otherwise, but it wasn't true. His bottom lip started to quiver as he wondered why this was happening.
Seeing the pain in his eyes, you started to rethink yourself. This was Diego. Your Eggo, your older brother. He was the one who came in the middle of the night to the academy when you were still hallucinating the young Umbrella Academy and made them go away. He was the one who comforted you when you had nightmares and held you til you fell back asleep. He took you to all your first days of school. He was there for all of your accomplishments. He took you to tour colleges. If none of this had happened then two months from now he would've been sitting at your graduation. No, you had to be thinking wrong. You were going to give him a chance, an olive branch, to prove to your broken heart and possibly clouded judgment that he did care about you. Taking a deep breath, you tried to center yourself before speaking. It was going to hurt to bring this up, but in your mind, it was the only way to know if he cared or not. Letting out your breath, you questioned,
"If you care about me then acknowledge Eudora. I just want you to acknowledge that she existed. That she was real and she was ours. I want you to remember what she meant to us, but you avoid the topic of her like the plague. So tell me, was she real to you like she was real to me?" You questioned
Diego looked at you blankly. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't prepared for a conversation like this. Not here, not now. He didn't want to do this. He didn't even know if he could.  
His silence didn't help you though. Why wouldn't he talk about her? All you wanted from him was to say something to show she was still in his mind. That the memories you created together were still there. Anything to prove he loved and cared for her and what you all had. Hurt bubbled inside you again followed by a slow anger. You needed an answer.
"Did you love her, Diego?" You pressed "Or did you stop caring the moment you couldn't be a hero to her anymore?"
Your questions weren't fair. He wasn't ready to speak about this, especially not with Lila around. He loved Lila. How could he have this conversation without the possibility of making her feel less than or secondary? This wasn't a conversation for her to be a part of. At least not yet. Why were you so determined? Why was this the hill that you had decided was so important to die on?
"(Y/N), it's-  it's complicated." Diego tried to explain
Complicated? How? Why? What was so complicated about remembering a person you loved? Anguish and anger swirled together as Diego's words, or lack thereof, affected you. Whatever composure you had tried to build quickly slipped away. Why couldn't he give you this? Why couldn't he even say her name? At this point that would be enough. Your throat and chest clenched tightly as if your body was caving in on itself, and tears streamed from your eyes as you wondered why he was hurting you like this?
"ANSWER THE QUESTION! DID YOU LOVE HER?" You demanded, your voice trembling as you begged for an answer, "DID YOU LOVE US?"
Diego looked at you silently, tears pricking his eyes, and the words he wanted to say caught in his throat. Of course, he loved her. He loved both of you. For so long, you two were his entire world. But he couldn't acknowledge Eudora. If he did it made her loss real. It made her death final. Even if he tried, he would never be able to forget her because you were so much like her. The way you cared for others, the way your face scrunched when you were upset, the joyful light in your eyes as you looked at him, and your resilience when things got tough. All these little quirks you had were glimpses of her. Looking at you was like looking at the last piece he had of her. It had been years for you, but it had only been three months for him. He couldn't do it. 
"(Y/N)- I-..." He tried to speak, his voice stuttering
But it was too late. He took too long to answer. And to you, that meant only one thing, he never actually loved you or Eudora. He never cared. All the things that he did, all of those moments of kindness were in search of admiration, not love. When you looked at him now, there was pain, and there was anger, but most of all there was resentment. You resented the fact that all these years, all those moments that you thought were genuine, were all just for a stupid ego boost. Your happiness never meant anything to him. And just like that your mood swung again, and your emotions disappeared. You felt nothing. You felt empty. You looked at Diego, with eyes that no longer had light in them and quietly stated,
"I'm glad she doesn't remember who I am because at least it means that she never knew you either."
Your words hit Diego like a ton of bricks. Not only because of how they impacted them but also because of the weight of what you meant. If she didn't remember you, that meant she was here. It meant she was alive. 
"She's alive? You saw her?" Diego asked sincerely
You didn't understand why he cared now? Now that she was possibly alive he wanted to acknowledge Eudora? What a selfish fucking prick. 
"I'm not going to tell you because you don't deserve to know her anymore. What I will tell you is that she loved you so much, but time and time again you choose to stroke your massive ego and play hero to others over the people already around you. And I know now that I'm not worth being around for when you have the amazing opportunity to play hero for these two."
"(Y/N), it's not like that." Diego responded
It was at this moment, knowing what Lila knew now, that everything finally clicked together, and she felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. As you had said, it was never about her or what she did. Except for trying to kill you and Five, but that wasn't the point. You had shouted that your parents were dead and that Diego raised you and she could assume that by extension this Eudora did too. Wasn't too hard to conclude that Diego had replaced your dad, and Eudora had replaced your mom. It was, mostly, never what she did that upset you so much, it was what she represented. Like your mini-Diego-looking friend said, she was a homewrecker, Diego was a traitor and they both were adulterers. He said those things because that's how you viewed the situation. You weren't a sister upset that her brother got a new girlfriend, you were a child watching their parent replace the other one. It was no wonder Diego was doing a relatively decent job with Stan, he had already done it before. With you.
However, you didn't want to hear what Diego had to say. You were done with him. Completely. In totality. Forever.
"You don't need to explain, because I don't need you anymore." You spat "I actually don't need anything from you anymore."
Pulling all the knives off your body, you tossed them to the ground in front of Diego. You had your powers, you didn't need some stupid knives to fight with. They didn't mean anything to you anymore. They were just worthless metal to you.
But to Diego, this was salt in the wound. These knives were gifts given to commemorate celebrations or important events. Birthdays, winning your first boxing match, getting your license, etc. These were the physical embodiment of his proudest days of you. Why? Why were you tossing them back?
"(Y/N), no..." Diego begged
"Go on, give them to Stan since he's the one you care about. I promise I won't get in the way of your happy little family ever again." You explained in a sarcastically cheerful tone before flatly stating "From now on, I only ever had one brother, and he died trying to keep me safe."
Hearing those words, Diego became paralyzed. It felt like time had stopped moving but that certainly wasn't true. Everything happened so fast and he didn't know how he got to this point. What had he done to cause this outcome? How many times had he unintentionally hurt you that now you wanted nothing to do with him? At that moment, it felt like a large part of him died because he didn't just lose you, he lost Eudora. The light In your eyes that you both shared when you looked at him was gone. How could he have let this happen?
Lila looked between you and Diego. He looked so broken...so defeated. She never wanted this for Diego. She might've disagreed with you, but she loved Diego and Diego loved you. Part of her felt like this was her fault, even if you said it wasn't. You were just a scared, hurt child looking for love, and whatever you were looking for you didn't get. And now, to you, all your parents were dead. In a way, Lila could relate. When she had lost her parents and was taken in by The Handler all she wanted was to know she was loved. But like her, you didn't get it, and now you were lost. Maybe there was a reason why these people loved you. Maybe she had misjudged you this whole time. Maybe you two were more similar than you were different. 
You however couldn't stand to be here anymore. This place felt heavy like an inescapable weight was crushing you. It was suffocating being in a place with so much misery. You needed to leave. Grabbing Dean's keys from the floor and summoning Viktoria's phone to your hand, you turned without saying a word and began to head to the front door. 
 Mimicking Five's powers, Lila jumped over to you and grabbed your wrist to stop you. Looking back, you expected to see your boyfriend but were surprised to see it was Lila who had stopped you.
"Where are you going?" Lila asked "The world is ending and you're a bloody mess. Literally."
"Why do you care?" You replied, "I thought you wanted me dead."
Right. Lila may have realized that your hatred was misplaced, but you had not realized that hers was as well. She was gonna have to work on that. 
Phasing your wrist through her grasp, you tried to walk away once more. You need to get away from this place. Away from Diego. Away from the Umbrella Academy and the end of the world. You weren't a hero. You were never meant to be a hero. Saving the world was never supposed to be your responsibility. 
You needed space, but the Hargreeves knew they needed you for this. Trying to get you to stop and reconsider Luther blurted out,
"What about the Kugelblitz? We need you to help figure out all the-the- y'know- your powers and stuff. We're family!"
Hearing that word you stopped in place. Family. How dare he use that word like some type of "gotcha". That word was supposed to mean something, and it did mean something to you. It meant so much more than just the definition in the book. It was a representation of all the people you had loved. All the people who you lived and fought for. All the people who had loved you to their dying breath. All the people who were now gone forever. To treat that word like a quid-pro-quo was like a slap in the face. You seethed at his negligence and slowly turned on your heel to face the Umbrella Academy.
"Family?" You questioned angrily "You use that word so frivolously. What do you know about family? What do ANY of you know about family?"
"I don't think I understand the question." Luther replied
"Of course you don't. Because you're all selfish, stunted, pathetic adults." You remarked spitefully "You don't view me as family. You guys only use the word family when you need something."
"That's not true. We're a family." Viktor retorted
"No you're not. You are a group of people who share a last name." You spat "You wouldn't know the first thing about family if it manifested as an entity and punched you in your fucking faces."
"(Y/N), you don't mean that..." Diego pleaded
God you were sick of these people! You said what you said and you meant it. They had no clue about what it meant to be a family. They had no respect for each other. They only ever came together to help each other when it was too late. You sacrificed everything for these people and none of them would do the same. They found out your parents died and they didn't care. They watched you struggle on the ground, bleeding and screaming, and they didn't step up. They saw all your friends vanish and offered no condolences. If you were in their shoes you would already been trying to help them, but they didn't care to do the same. You were done with them. Going on a tirade, you shouted,
"I DO! I treated you like family! I lost my parents, and friends, and the lives I built trying to help you all because I cared for you! I LOVED you! And besides my fucking boyfriend, who is the only one here who seems to care, none of you would do the same for me! The only one of you who ever genuinely treated me like family was Ben. And he's gone! I've lost EVERYTHING! I have NO FRIENDS! NO FAMILY! NO HOME! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULTS! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
A heavy silence fell over the group as you caught your breath from yelling so much. To Allison, she didn't care much for your anger, you had no interest in finding her daughter so why should she care for your parents or friends? For Diego, this only worsened the heartbreak he already felt. He had failed you. And for Luther and Viktor, they felt like kids again, this aching feeling reminiscent of the day they realized you had disappeared along with Five. Their first friend, the first person who loved them for who they were, was lost again.
And then there was Five whose guilt had no bounds. He felt terrible seeing how upset you were, shameful that he couldn't prevent or change the events that led to this moment. The amount of pain you were going through was probably unimaginable, and even though you singled him out and separated him from his siblings as the only person who cared, he still felt guilty for his impact on your life. You had told him multiple times since he returned to you that you didn't blame him, but in a way, he was still the catalyst. That original time jump may have been an accident, but its impacts were very much real. You had put helping others first for so long that you never asked for help yourself. He wished he knew how to fix this. He had to find a way. 
Turning on your heel once more, you started to make your way to the doors again. You were getting out of here and nothing was going to stop you this time. Except that's never how it goes, does it? Immediately as you started walking away you felt a minor molecular disturbance behind you and someone gently take your hand. You knew who it was. It was the only person who could break your conviction. The only person who could make you want to stay. Slowly, you turned around to look at Five. His green eyes filled with sadness and concern as he looked over you. 
"Baby, please don't go." Five begged
God, why did he have to do this? Your heart ached looking at him. You never wanted your life with him to be like this. To be one filled with trials and tribulations. When you got real moments together everything was so beautiful, the world felt brighter, and your heart felt light. Why couldn't you just run away with him? Forget the world, cope with the pain of the kugel waves, and spend your last days together. Why did life have to be this way? Why couldn't you two just be happy? tears welled in your eyes once more as your strong composure quickly faltered.
"I can't do this..." you whispered, trying not to cry
"And I can't let you go..." Five replied desperately
"Th-that's not fair." You rebuked stuttering over your words "I-I let you go when I didn't want you to."
Five grasped your hand tighter. You were right, just a few days ago you were in his place begging him not to go, but let him anyway. He'd be a hypocrite to not let you do the same, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. Looking you over, you were injured, bloodied, covered in gauze that was slowly turning red, and he knew for a fact you were not in a rational headspace. He couldn't blame you for any of it, the circumstances leading to this were out of your control, but his head was screaming at him to hold onto you. 
"What if something happens?" Five questioned concerned "Another kugel wave and I'm not there to help you? What if you-"
Five stopped. He couldn't get the words out. He shut his eyes tightly as he tried to push the thought out of his mind, but it was haunting. He lost you once before, he wouldn't survive if it happened again.
Five's grip on your hand tightened even more and you could feel the way his hand trembled as it held yours. You held his hand tighter and with your other hand, you reached up and gently ran it through his hair pushing it out of his face before resting it on his cheek. Your thumb gently brushed back and forth against his skin. You watched as he leaned into your touch more, even if most of what he felt was the gauze on your hand. You hated seeing him so upset. Back and forth your brain fought between doing what would make you feel better and doing what would make him feel better. That was the issue with loving someone so deeply, so desperately, you could never stop thinking of them. Five was a constant thought in your mind and loving him was like breathing air. But this hotel, these people, it was suffocating you. Your head wasn't in a good space, but you knew you couldn't do both right now. You couldn't take care of yourself and Five. It was one or the other and you had to make a decision. Gently, you brought his face closer to yours and pressed your forehead against his.
 "I need time, Five..." You whispered
"We don't have that." Five mumbled
"We never do." You quietly replied "But I still need it. I need to go."
Opening his eyes, Five saw the way you looked at him. Your gaze was gentle and sincere. Even through the chaos of your emotions, he knew that you still loved him. He could see it all over your face. And yet, that made him want to hold on tighter. Letting go of your hand, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close. 
Resting your head on his shoulder you let out a sigh. You felt like your heart was breaking and part of you started thinking that maybe you should put up with his siblings and stay. But then you thought again, and you knew that if you didn't get the space to clear your head then you wouldn't be able to do anything going forward. It pained you but you needed your space. You had to go. Lifting your head, you looked at Five once more.
"Please don't make me use my powers." You pleaded, tears falling from your eyes "Don't force me to slip away."
Five had no choice. He had to let you go because no matter what you were going to leave. It was what you wanted. All that was up to him was if it was going to be amicably or regretfully. Loosening his hold on you, Five sighed,
"Okay..."
You took a step back out of Five's arms. It was a bittersweet feeling. You didn't want to leave him, but you appreciated that he respected your wishes. Yes, you were forcing his hand slightly, but it did still show he cared. You wanted to give him something though, something that could perhaps ease the worry you knew he was feeling. Summoning the sharpie you saw Lucas put down earlier, you popped the cap off before gently pushing up the sleeve of Five's jacket and shirt. On his arm, you wrote down the number to Viktoria's cell phone, which you now carried on you, adding a little heart after the final number. Putting the cap back on the marker, you placed it into his jacket pocket. Looking up at him you explained,
"If it's an emergency, if you really need me, call this number and I'll be back as soon as I can."
Part of him worried that this was the last time he'd see you. That he was making a huge mistake. But he loved you and he knew you loved him. You had always managed to find your way back to each other so he had to trust that you'd come back again. Taking your face in his hands, he kissed you desperately, like it was the last kiss you'd ever share. If you were leaving his side then he needed you to feel how much he loved you. But he had to trust that this wasn't the last time. He had to believe that his lips would meet yours again.
You pressed your lips firmly back against Five's, the tears you had cried making the kiss salty. Your heart didn't want to leave him, but your head knew that you wouldn't be able to help him going forward if you didn't. It wasn't pleasant, but you swore once your head was clear, you'd come straight back here and into his arms. It felt like hell, but you gathered the strength to pull away. 
"I love you." You stated sincerely
"I love you too." Five quietly replied
And with that, you gave him one more kiss on the cheek before turning and walking to the doors. As you got to the revolving door though, you stopped and looked back at him to make sure he was still there. You loved him too much not to. You saw as he looked back at you and quietly mouthed the word go. With a small nod, you looked ahead and walked out the door of the Hotel Obsidian.
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httpshujii · 4 hours
Text
❝ WANTED FOR A FATAL ATTRACTION . . . ❞
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CHAPTER Ⅰ :- ATTENTION
C.W. f!reader is an attention seeking thief, mentions of killing & execution, implications of s*x (not detailed/sugar coated), reader labelled as freak. Please let me know if I missed anything!
TAGS :- @lu-naes @coconut36 @briarbabyxo @number1morihater @kaiser1ns (comment or dm if you'd like to be tagged!)
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You don't know what you did to get such a large bounty on your head. You never killed, never found pleasure in the thought of it. Sure, you stole from the richest and you didn't bother hiding your acts.
It's amusing, how your delicate fingers can just snatch all sorts of things out of pockets. You'd find it humorous when they did catch you, when you made sure they knew that you stole something valuable.
The way their faces would contort into shock and morph into pure anger. It's an interesting reaction, you don't know why it satisfies you so much to be seen as a criminal, a known thief.
Is it the thrill it brings when doing something so fragile? Is it to prove something? You questioned your motives on more than one occasion. But it all goes down to one reason.
Boothill. An infamous outlaw, mostly works for brokers. You could never be like him, of course, you don't know how to handle arms nor do you know how he manages to eliminate people like some useless digits in an equation. But to be known by as many people as him is a need. A great wish that only the brightest star can grant, and that star sure does love to stay hidden.
You just want to be known. To be seen and to have your face stamped on the alley walls of Penacony, the word 'wanted' stated right above your head in heavy red ink. It's an indescribable urge.
You blame the lack of attention you got in your younger years. No matter how many times it's repeated, people are greedy and love to talk about themselves. You're no different. If anything, you're worse. This idea of belonging to yourself and loving yourself so much to the point where you want everyone to know every small thing about you, is a major derivative to becoming popular. Whether in a good or bad way.
You realized this power at a young age. Getting accused of cheating when you really didn't, but instead of having your belly bubble with rage at such an accusation, you felt seen. For the first time. Kids are straightforward, if you look, talk, or act weirdly, they'll label you as a "freak."
You didn't have friends, nor did you want any. Their a hindrance, nothing but pawns in a game you didn't know you were playing. You don't know why you used to think that, maybe it was cause you felt invisible. You didn't like it, but it was peaceful.
You remember smiling when the girl who accused you hissed you name towards the teacher, and then you grinned when all eyes turned to you. With that reaction, people agreed on your crime, and into punishment you went.
Cleaning the classroom for a week and retaking a harder version of the test. You took your time, enjoyed cleaning, enjoyed thinking. After all, you had no parents to go home to, no friend to visit. You lived relying on your pickpocketing skills. Stealing a sandwich from a distracted merchant, hiding an apple in your bag when looking through a store. Water bottles, sweets, juice, gum, anything you can get your sinister hands on.
You had the right to survive, just like everyone else. Even if your way bended the laws, you still had the right. At least that's what you told yourself.
As you grew up, you got smarter, more daring. Unclasping pearl necklaces from necks of rich women while complimenting them, flirting with drunk merchants that are too drunk to realize you snatch a few wads of credit, too naïve to notice, too blind by honeyed words to care.
You'd steal like it's a nine to five. You wake up every morning in your hidden shack that was an abandoned garage, brush your teeth, ruffle your hair, apply what little perfume you have left from the perfume store that you stole from a few years ago. Cool, peachy, and flowery. The scent would turn heads, only to be met with a sinister grin and a wallet out of their pockets and in your very trusty hands.
You'd buy yourself a meal, keep it packed till you get back to your humble abode.
"I'm home…"
You have no one to go back to. But these words always feel brand new when they roll out of your throat, saddened, somber. You know you'll never come home to see anyone, you'd probably be dead or on the run by the time. Every day, every night, it's the same routine.
You grew to like it, enjoy the loop of similar activities. Up until now.
As if a shock, he came in and rearranged the pattern. Forced himself into your idea of a perfect lifestyle. You're not mad, there's a reason you have his wanted poster plastered right next to your mattress on the wall of your home. You're excited to this sudden change. Giggling, you shove the drunkard you were trying to bribe away, causing him to stumble and knock himself out on the hard floor of the saloon.
You know he's here for you, it's clear with that killer smile on his lips. His hands hanging loosely on his gun holster, you pull your bottom lip into the light grip of your teeth, your smile so wide your lip slips from the caress of your wet tongue against the slightly chapped surface.
There he stands, in all his glory. The one and only Boothill. Mechanical body glinting under the yellow bulbs, complex machinery whispering a repetitive whir of pumps pumping and gears turning. Teeth akin to a shark's pointy and pearly. Pupils that rotate, gun's targets eyeing you up and down.
Under his calculated gaze, you feel seen, heard, and understood all within the span of a few seconds. Everyone around you seems non existent, they cower in the dark corners of the saloon as the predator approaches you in clicking heels on a wooden floor.
He thinks you look like a little girl. With your legs kicking the air softly, your hands resting beneath your thighs as you gaze up at him with nothing but wonder and curiosity. He doesn't know if he likes it, he's used to siren lulls of scandalous dances, spending a few hours to relish in the plush of steamy nights with what people would call models, but to him, nothing but discarded digits of pleasure. He doesn't even know why he participates in such acts. He's not a human anymore, can't feel a warm body against his, it itches him. Not being able to touch and feel and caress. It makes him go crazy, often shooting bullets at aging walls when he thinks about it too much.
He likes you. How different you are to him, how new you are to him. He feels like it's okay to slow down just this once. He takes a seat next to you. Resting his elbow on the wooden bar, his fist cushioning his cheek as his eyes stay locked on you. You imitate him. Staring at him just as intently. With just as much wonder.
"Can I buy you a drink, sugar?"
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MASTERLIST ⋮ CHAPTER Ⅱ . . .
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cheesus-doodles · 1 day
Note
If you don’t mind, I’d like to submit an ask!♡
For your platonic bff/Yan!Baji works.. Baji starts to notice the person he’s always admired and sought to protect begins to lose pieces of who she/they are by being forced into domestic chores alone… they may be living comfortably, but they lack routine, and becomes depressed, feeling as though she/they have no purpose, wasting time. Someone perhaps suggests Baji offer her a useless clerical job in a Bonten owned office where she at least has a routine and reason; it pays abnormally well, three days a week, and only 6 hours per day, overtime optional (Baji hates when he comes home to an empty home after all). Finally, Baji gets back the driven and willful person he’s always loved. She/they also pull less of a fight to move out, since he went through all the trouble of landing her such a nice job in the first place. She’d feel guilty leaving him when he’s already done so much for her. The least she can do is be there to support him emotionally as his best friend, right?
It’s all about compromise and manipulation~♡
of course, asks are always welcome! sorry I took so long to get back to you <3 ah man i feel the BFF here so hard HAHAHAHA forcing yourself to do anything is so difficult
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BFF Baji Fics | BFF Baji Asks
Masterlist
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Awwww :’( Baji definitely thought that he was doing his BFF the biggest solid by removing you from your job and stopping you from having to work yourself to the bone. You were always so stressed from your job and all the bills, so when he could finally stop pretending that his only income was from his little pet shop down the road. I mean sure, he must know that you liked having something to do to pass the time, but this boy definitely thought that you would enjoy having that extra free time to pursue whatever you wanted (under his watchful eye of course).
It becomes quickly obvious that once removed from your routine, no matter how stressful it had been, you quickly find yourself lacking the motivation to do anything but the bare minimum you could force yourself into doing. Spend a lot of time just lying in bed, scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind. Sure you didn't need the money to pay the bills, but earning an income that you could call your own, feeling like you were needed somewhere, and having someone telling you that you had a purpose and a hard deadline to complete your work by - it isn't something that you were going to be able to find yourself in the comfort and lulling nature of your home.
And it becomes very apparent to Baji that his BFF is becoming more and more lethargic and unresponsive as the days past, uninterested in anything and almost depressed to a point, barely reacting when he returns from work and not leaving the house except if forced to by Baji. Of course you not wanting to go outside should be a plus for this black-haired boy, given you would be the safest in this penthouse at the top of a Bonten-owned building guarded by Bonten security, yet seeing you languish like this - it didn't make Baji happy one bit. He wanted his happy, cheery, motivated BFF back.
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This former delinquent is sympathetic to your cause - he knows what it's like to not be able to do anything but stand aside and watch the world turn. His Toman friends and you gave him a purpose, and he couldn't imagine being able to keep his chin up if he didn't have either. With enough moping about at Bonten headquarters, and having almost snapped when Ran teasingly asked about his love issues, Baji eventually gets ordered, ordered, by Mikey to go sort out his mess before coming back to work. The lost black-haired boy gets advised by Kakucho to find something for you to do, preferably something you would genuinely enjoy, if he wants to see you happy.
As your bff for years, he would at this point be quite familiar with all your childhood dreams of what you would like to have done as a job, but just to be sure, Baji will be sure to feel your current thoughts out. And whatever it is, as long as it is within his ability, Baji is sure to grant it to you, because how can he not? He promised to give you the world one day, and as your BFF in his current capacity now, he could.
You still want to be a doctor? Sure he'll have the university open a slot for you to study medicine, fully paid for, and you can practice at the Bonten infirmary or at an affiliated hospital. You want to start an art studio? All yours, when do you want to start? Run a cafe - Baji'll have the kitchen renovated and open in a Bonten shop just a stone's throw from headquarters. You also get whatever pay raise/promotion you think you deserve, and Baji makes it happen according to what he thinks you want (even forces all his Bonten colleagues to go and patronize your workplace while under his supervision).
The only caveat would be that whatever you want to do can't be too dangerous, and it has to be regular hours and near him. Baji wants to be able to look after and keep you safe, stepping in whenever he needs to to get people to back off from you. Anything that you have to travel further than a street away from him gets vetoed immediately, and this baby boy will pull out the puppy eyes to get you to fold and pick another job.
Never overtime, absolutely not, Baji will throw a fit if you stay even a minute longer working when it could be spent pampering and spending time him (and he wonders why the rest of Bonten laughs at him). Don't get him wrong, this boy has no qualms letting people know the business end of his gun and fists to get his way, but not that you would know. He just wants you to be happy so you can focus all that hapiness on him.
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jellyfishoreo1206 · 3 days
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You can ignore this if you want but!! I have an idea for a request: Gavril and mc trying to make homemade cheese together. Whether Mc already knows how to make cheese or not can be up to you!
Making Cheese with Gavril
Notes: I'M BACK, I SWEAR GUYS I AM NOT DEAD. Seriously I'm so sorry for leaving y'all w/o anything, my motivation to write anything had disappeared and finals bombarding me SUCKKKED. BUT I'M FINALLY FREE, RAHHHHHHH!!!! Anyway I was reminded of this one ask Part got last year with a cheese maker reader/food taster (I couldn't find it but it's somewhere on their dash, so credit to the person who asked the ask!) and I thought why not use that? Enjoy reading! (He may be OOC guys, it's been a while since I last wrote T~T)
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol in here (idk if Gavril drinks alcohol but considering the crap he goes through, that boy needs a DRINK)
----
Working as a cheese maker is a lot of work, as simple as it may seem to others outside of the profession. Physically demanding your attention each and every day. But that was part of the job either way. Doesn't mean it can't be fun, especially if you're a fanatic of cheese.
Tomorrow was your day off, your muscles finally being able to relax from the constant lifting, stirring, and pressing that they had to endure. You had a pretty good idea of what to do when you came back from work, and that was to relax until the early hours of the morning.
It was getting dark; the sun setting as it casted its long shadows onto the ground below. You felt yourself sinking into the couch cushion, the nerves of your limbs becoming fuzzy as your mind went numb watching the screen of the TV, some random show you couldn't bother to pay attention too for the last couple of hours.
A ping from your phone pulls your attention away from the show you were mindlessly watching, slowly pushing yourself up from the couch— wincing a bit as your limbs were finally moving again after so long—as you reached for it. You had a pretty good guess of who it was, as he was the only one who texted you on a daily basis.
Open your window please <3
"Didn't know my day could get any better." Smiling, you sent him a message back, standing up from the couch as you stretched your arms high above your head; a few of your joints popping in the process, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.
Which one?
Bedroom window
Omw
It scared the crap out of you when he first appeared at your window with little to no warning, but with how things usually played out in your life, you got used to it eventually.
A smile graced your face when you saw him perched by your window with an eager look on his face, his goopy tail seemingly wagging at the sight of you once you approached closer to the window.
Thank god he actually came when it was dark this time, you don't need another situation happening with your neighbor freaking out to the police.
"Hey." You offered quietly in greeting, wrapping your arms around his neck as you nuzzled into his skin—enjoying the warmth he seemed to radiate. He copied your actions, wrapping his arms around your waist—his grip gentle yet tight as he pulled you to himself.
"Hello, darling." He mumbles into your hair, placing a kiss atop your head.
"Didn't know you were coming back so soon?"
"Wanted to surprise you."
"Well, color me surprised."
~~~
"So," Your back was turned to Gavril as you poured the two of you drinks, "-anything new happened on your crazy adventure?"
At this point it was routine for the both of you. Gavril comes back, you make sure he isn't injured, catch up with each other's lives. Most of the time Gavril's stories seem to be a tad bit more interesting than yours, and concerning at the same time.
Very concerning.
"Not much," He starts, "-but I did get chased by some agents a few weeks back.." A awkward smile appears on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. His coat was currently laid across his lap, his fingers fiddling with the frayed edges while he looks around the room. Walking over to him, you offered him the glass as you sat down in the chair next to him, he gladly took it—taking a small sip of it before placing it down onto the table. You took a sip of your own drink, the liquid giving your throat a slight burn that soon settled into a slight tingle.
It's been a while since you last had a drink, not crazy long ago though, watching as the liquid swirls in the glass before bringing it back up to your lips again—embracing the burning yet warming feeling of the liquid.
"Did that same redhead appear again?" Gavril mentioned him once or twice before to you, you're not sure what the name of the guy is, all you know is that he constantly reappears and how cowardly he can be.
"No, only his buddy showed up this time. Wasn't like anything changed though." The corners of his lips hint at a smile, bringing a hand up to the one prominent curl of his hair as he plays with it for a bit, twirling it around his finger. "I wonder how he even got that far in without quitting." You murmured out. From what you've heard, FBI training is no joke, and very intense. Both physically and mentally. Those who can't handle the challenge usually quit early on; and if they do pass, then there's the insane amount of cases that would affect nearly anyone. So for the redhead to get that far still puzzles you.
"I wonder the same too."
You continued to talk for what seemed like hours, pouring yourselves a few more drinks as the day slowly faded away into the early hours of the morning. Your muscles felt relaxed, more at ease; a comforting haze overtaking your brain as you let today's worries slip away. It doesn't seem Gavril is feeling the effects of the drink other than the nearly invisble tint of red on his cheeks and his relaxed posture instead of the regular stiffness.
Drinking the last bit of the liquid left in your cup, you stand up from your chair as you head towards the fridge, looking back towards Gavril to offer him something to eat, "You hungry?"
He hums out in confirmation, head now resting on top of his folded arms, eyes closed. Peering into the fridge, you clicked your tongue; no cheese. Searching every corner of the fridge, nope, nada. What a pickle you were in.
You could just go to the convince store that's not far from here, 10 minutes by foot. But is it opened? Checking the time on your phone, no, they closed just a few minutes ago. Are you sure your eyes didn't just missed the cheese?
Second time looking, again, nothing.
While searching the fridge for a third time, a thought pops up.
'Well...there's milk, and a few lemons...' Looking in the cabinet next to the fridge, yup, salt and some leftover animal rennet.
Ah, a quick and easy solution to your small problem.
Quickly getting to work, you grabbed two small bowls, pouring water into both of them. Rinsing and cutting the lemon, you squeezed some of the juice into one of the bowls, mixing it and setting it aside. For the second bowl, you added some animal rennet into the water, mixed it and set it aside with the other. Once placing the pot on top the stove, you felt the embrace of two arms wrapping around your midsection with the added weight of something on your shoulder. Peeking behind you to see Gavril, with a curious look in his eyes.
"Something wrong?"
"What..exactly are you doing?"
"Ran out of cheese, so I'm making some." You respond cheerily, a tired smile spreading on your face. Turning back to the task at hand, you missed the way that red tint on his face seemed to have become darker, hugging you closer to himself as he watches your hands at work.
Despite you guys dating for several months, he still gets shy about acts of affection. Kisses, praises, gifts, being pampered; It just gives him that fluttery feeling that cascades through him. It's not that he hates it, no far from that, it's just that he doesn't know what to do. Being isolated from everyone—for who knows how long—and his only company as rats made him rather awkward. You don't mind it though—it's adorable to you whenever he hides his face in the shadow of his hood when you give him a kiss on the cheek—you want him to be comfortable around you, so usually give him ways out or just let him control the pace.
"Can I help?"
"Of course! Just, wash your hands first."
---
"So I just, pour it in?" There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, looking back and forth at the bowl with the animal rennet mixture and the pot of milk that was just taken off the heat. You had your phone playing some music— since you felt that the atmosphere was a bit too quiet—with one of Gavril's favorite rock bands playing as you guided him through the steps of making cheese.
"Yup, then just stir it in gently."
You watched as Gavril does as he was told, although a bit hesitantly once he began stirring. Walking over to him, you laid your hands atop his hands on the spoon, showing him the proper way to stir the cheese-to-be mixture. The contact brought a blush to his cheeks, a small smile forming on his face.
"Now that's done," Putting a lid on the pot, "-we wait for 10 minutes."
---
"You're gonna want to cut it in a grid-like pattern, like this!" Using a long knife, you cut two lines into the semi-solid mixture before handing the knife over to Gav.
"Oh, seems easy enough." He muttered to himself, changing the way he held the knife before holding it properly in his grip.
"Make sure to reach the bottom when cutting, cause right after this step is done, we're straining the liquid from the solids."
---
"I'll handle this part. I'll need to dunk the cheese in some hot water in order to stretch it properly." After straining out the cheese from the whey, you now needed to stretch it until it reached the right firmness. Gavril nods, as he lingers, a excited smile appearing on his face, his fangs peaking out.
Dunking the cheese into the water, you begin stretching. This part you somewhat don't like, it's not that the water is boiling hot, it just makes your skin irritated if it's submerged for long periods of time. Though it is a good way to release stress, it's like slime in a way. Edible slime, huh.
---
After adding the salt, you finally finished, good old Mozzarella cheese. Rolling it into small balls and storing it in some of the whey, you sit down as Gavril pops a ball of cheese into his mouth, a big smile appearing on his face.
A smile comes across your face as well, glad he's enjoying it. It's nice spending time with him, in moments like these. You kinda forget the fact that several month ago that he broke into your house and scared the living shit out of you when you realized you almost got killed.
...Does that count as Stockholm Syndrome??
Before you could think any further, a light poke to your arm brings you out of it. Looking towards Gavril, you see that he's offering you some cheese, a bashful smile on his face as a tint of red makes itself known. Aw, that's sweet of him.
"You can have some.."
"Thanks Gav." Popping the piece of cheese into your mouth, you savor the moment. Cheese tastes so much better when you're making it with those you care about.
What a great way to spend your day-off.
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sgminkiss · 3 days
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i've been writing a seungmin fic but i'm struggling to find the motivation to finish it so i'm just going to post what i have please give me your thoughts and/or advice and i might finish it and post the whole fic!
“minnie?” you called into the empty house. the space was quieter than usual. you expected to see your boyfriend watching a sport you didn't understand on the tv, but you were met by darkness instead.
when you turned to walk up the stairs, you heard soft music playing from inside your shared bedroom “seung?” you called, trying your best to be heard over the music. you pressed your hand to the door, watching it swing open, your mouth dropped open when you saw what was waiting for you in your bed.
the sight was beautiful. golden light poured from the large windows, and your boyfriend was sprawled over the white bedspread you had recently washed. seungmin gasped when he saw you, horrified as he realized what you had walked in on.
kim seungmin was wearing dog ears.
this wasn’t something you’d expect from seungmin. he presented himself so conventionally, never asking for something kinkier than a pretty silk rope for his slim wrists, only pushing himself when you wanted something more. he liked to keep it vanilla, or so you thought.
“b-babe.” his hand released his cock. you hadn’t even noticed him touching it; you were too distracted by his pretty, brown puppy ear hair clips.
“seungmin.” you let out a little laugh as you invited yourself inside the room.
“please pretend this never happened,” he started, “like you never saw it. please?”
“why would I do that?" chuckling louder this time. his face flushed a pretty rose color. once he noticed your staring, he tossed a pillow in your direction, covered himself with the now soiled sheets, and reached across himself to turn off the speaker. he saw himself in the long mirror you had hanging on the bedroom wall, pulling the clips out of his matching brown hair.
“don’t take them out," you frowned and walked further into the room, stepping over the discarded pillow, sliding into bed with him, and tugging at the sheets. "you look so cute, puppy.”
“don’t say that.” he huffed as he pulled the bundled sheets out of your hands.
“did I upset you?” you hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable. it’s okay for him to have his private interests, but you thought it would be fun to explore together.
“no,” he scowled, “it’s just embarrassing."
“seungmin.”
“what?” he looked up at you, his eyes glossy, the personification of shame.
“if you didn’t want me to find out, then why do it here?” you smiled. “i mean, i come home at the same time every day. you couldn’t have lost track of time; we both know how impatient you are.” seungmin continued to stare at you.
“that’s..” he started.
“are you sure you don’t want me to call you puppy?” you reached out your hand to tuck his sweaty, brown hair behind his ears. “puppy?” you whispered when he stood silent.
“please...”
“don’t be shy.” you reach for the dog ears, abandoned at the end of the bed. after combing through his messy hair with your fingers, you clip them where you thought they looked prettiest. you slid your hand down his face and cupped his jaw. he nuzzled into your hand and moaned, “m-mommy..”
“oh. that's new.” you laughed
“stop laughing at me.” he furrowed his brows and looked down at his covered crotch. he tilted his head back up to look at you when you spoke.
“you’re too cute, i can’t help it.” you giggled. you then pulled the covers off his lap. he let out a sigh when he felt the cold air hit his twitching cock. you ran your hands under his shirt and swiftly pulled it over his head, careful not to yank his ears.
“beautiful boy,” you leaned in to kiss his pink lips. seungmin was struggling to keep his hands to himself. it was hot. he missed you so much. he wanted this sooo bad. what was he supposed to do?
“relax seung,” you mumbled, removing his hand from your boob for the third time grinning, “or do you want me to tie you up?”
“n-no!” he shook his head, his cute little ears wiggled back and forth, “please, i’ll be so good. i promise i will. i'm always so good.” he was rambling, holding your hands, and visibly sweating. 
seungmin hadn’t had much experience, sex never being a priority for him. things changed after he met you. he found himself craving you when he didn't have you, and never having enough of you once he finally got you. suddenly, sex was high on his list of priorities. he took pride in the way you reacted to his body, the things he said, his dick even. so, why not put on a show for you?
you went back to kissing him, leaning over him and swinging your leg over his. now sitting on his thighs, you grab at his angry, red cock. he moans and you start slowly stroking him, squeezing lightly at the tip and running your thumb over the precum slicked head.
he pulled away from your mouth gasping for air and throwing his head back against the headboard with a loud moan, “oh god. please don’t stop mommy. it feels so good.. i need your mouth mama please?” 
“only since you’re being so polite.” you grinned, running your hands across his smooth skin, squeezing his hips, and scooting down to lay between his slender legs.
he raked his hand through your hair when you finally put your mouth on him. 
“oh oh oh..” he repeated breathlessly.
you drew your mouth off him to kiss his thighs, pulling at his cock with one hand and pinning his trembling legs to the mattress with the other.
“i need to be inside you.. mama please? now please..” you ignore him and start leaving little bites on his legs. he whines loudly and pushes your head away from him.
“i thought you promised to be good?” you looked at him arrogantly, seungmin felt so embarrassed.. so stupid.
“..im sorry. please are you mad? im sorry” his eyes welled with tears
“i could never be mad at you, love. please don’t cry, i hate when you cry, baby.” you wiped his cheeks and kissed him again. he sighed into the kiss as you pet him like a dog. 
“you want mommy’s pussy, pup?” you said once you finally pulled away.
“yes yes yes” he was panting 
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gayofthefae · 2 days
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Finally feel satisfied with how they're gonna do it, because I realized the common thread of all the failures to execute love triangle endings and it's what I ALWAYS talk about: SHOW. VS. TELL.
I'm gonna use Girl Meets World as an example. They did Maya dirty with that. They TOLD us in the end by having her character "realize" that she hadn't ever actually had a crush on him, she had just been having an identity crisis and copying her best friend. In a rewatch, I didn't find this. Not to mention, it's spelling it all out for us as the first reveal. It doesn't play as a reveal. It plays as forced. You should be able to predict, especially with romance, at least a little bit. You should suspect whatever is true. Because the most credible narrator is yourself. If you never had a single moment where you doubted her feelings for him, then you won't believe her when she tells you they were fake. If you had even one, they're validating suspicions purposefully planted in her behavior.
The other situation is the marketing love triangle that's played too much into the writing. There are too many to count so I won't name one. To digress briefly, though, shout-out to Riverdale for looking like that and then going "what? Oh, no. We were playing all sides because we're ON all sides. They're poly." Iconic; respect. ANYWAYS: what this type does is play all sides so much that it's unclear who the character chooses until they do, almost as if it's a choose your own adventure that doesn't pick until the moment of confession. There is no through line, it's just back and forth, therefore whoever the person chooses, it was not "shown" to the audience that their feelings for them were stronger because they played it completely 50/50.
In both cases, the character isn't shown doing things that divulge their inner monologue and then suddenly tells you what it's been the whole time and asks you to take them at their word. The speech feels unmotivated by the character because you were not witness to any build to it, making the motivation seem to convince you, the audience.
A great example of NOT doing this actually already exists in Stranger Things: Will Byers. Will Byers is gay. Also, Will Byers has never said he is gay. But we know. Because of his behavior. His speech even still qualifies as behavior because it is an action he chooses to make based on the motive of something tied to his queerness. His actions stem from a common, visible motive, but one never spoken. This is quite easy to do and they have shown an ability to in the past.
An important detail to note is that everyone I've seen believes that Will has been gay from the beginning as they tell us, whether it was visible early on or not. They trust the show because they trust themselves, and they're the ones who sussed it out. I'm sure there's SOMEone SOMEwhere but I have been here for two years now and heard nary a peep about Will's gayness coming out of nowhere since season 4.
All season 5 needs to do is show the audience before they tell them. All they need to do is have that moment where audiences go "wait a second....pshh, no.........wait" on their own, so that telling them is confirmation and not surprise. I think people who say it would be forced think we're advocating for an episode 1 kiss. I know damn well that would be as horrible and forced pacing as having Will and Jonathan's scene in episode 1. But doing that wouldn't change the fact that he was gay in season 4, it would just be horrible pacing.
All they need to do is provoke you to ask the question yourself. The consistency in people not believing something is true is a) when a characters tells them without having shown them, or b) when an audience member tells them before the character has shown them. It feels forced because it is - right now. But it isn't happening right now. It's a prediction, not a claim that you should have seen it already.
Every time it's felt forced in anything it was "tell". Everytime people have come around even after invalidating it and believed it was true the whole time, it was "show". It's very simple, really. We trust what we're shown, and when we're not shown anything, we trust the last thing we saw and the things we're being told. If we were told something contradictory to the last thing we saw, even if we last saw something 2 seasons ago, we wouldn't trust it - because we haven't been shown anything since. The last we SAW, Mike kissed El. The last we HEARD, he loves her. Show us something else and it'll remind us that we haven't SEEN anything in years, and that what we see is more credible than what we last heard.
It's very easy. And it's very, very consistent. What a relief.
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glitzybunny · 1 year
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Homework and design is hardddd :’((((
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pinkd3mon · 9 months
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I can respect the hater mentality
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#hoshi no kirby#kirby meme#it's honestly hilarious that half the cast of star allies are just people that tried to kill us and most of them aren't even sorry#Taranza at the time was the only redeemed villain in the cast#like yeah magolor went through redemption but we didn't know that he just built a theme park and hoped everything was fine#marx is just not hungry and his text just hints at him still being up to no good#susie is still racist and im not even sure she learn something from her experience#apart from trauma#daroach is here to steal stuff#im still not sure what dark meta knight wanted but nothing good I'm sure#i may be giving Taranza too much credit because he's my favorite he did have ulterior motives#but at most he just wanted to pray for Sectonia's revival he wasn't gonna do anything bad#he is going through stuff of course he's vulnerable to be converted by a cult#he's even like 'probably won't work and it working would honestly be a bad thing but im going to try anyway'#do you think Taranza gets lonely up there#Galacta dying the second we receive the first bit of solid lore about them was straight up evil#and then kumazaki confirmed they killed them because it was funny i was enraged /pos#i know people were tired of Galacta Knight at that point#i mean i wasn't bur i kind of understand why some people may have been#even they were tired they kiled themselves before having to fight us again#do you ever think about how none of the Galacta Knight encounters are canon to the kirby cast but are canon to Galacta#and then their death isn't canon so oops here they come in Kirby clash#retire that is old guy#but actually don't i like them and i want them to appear until they drop dead (again)#the post was meant to be about Galacta never forgiving the ancients but honestly they're probably angry just in general
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stupid-elf · 8 days
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Growing up with strict, neurodivergent parents while neurodivergent yourself will have you as an adult acting like you've recently escaped the feywild. What are the tricky rules? Is everything accounted for? How do I ensure I don't accidentally step over the line into Impoliteness. You know the consequences aren't death and dismemberment but you might look down one day and find you've lost your shadow and all of your friends if you're not careful
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doedipus · 1 month
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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