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fumiko-matsubara · 3 years

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Expectations and Fantasies

“You know…” Kaho suddenly started, absentmindedly playing with the bending straw that she had used for her now finished iced-tea.

Sitting across the table before her, Ryuunosuke perked up at her voice, tearing his gaze off his phone screen. He slightly tilted his head in mild curiosity, with his usually sharp eyes opened wide, blinking owlishly after. “Yeah?” He gently prompted, his initially surprised face slowly contorting into a soft smile.

Kaho bit the insides of her left cheek as she silently stared back at him. It had been a few months since they had formally met, and yet, she couldn’t really see herself getting used to the stark contrast between DREAM’s wild lead guitarist Ryuunosuke and the Ryuunosuke who was softly smiling at her as he waited for her to continue.

They began hanging out outside the live house every other day after the rain had stopped pouring. It was surprisingly Ryuunosuke’s idea, saying something along the lines of “wanting to stray away from the stress of school and having to constantly put up with Eiji’s bullshit,” which was totally valid and she completely agreed that he really needed to take a break. But she couldn’t help but to wonder why he wanted to spend his break with her, as delighted as she felt when she first received the offer. She supposed that he had plenty of friends outside the band that he could’ve asked instead. Like Miki, for example, as they seemed to be close enough to casually hang out together all the time.

Speaking of Miki, the stylist had been particularly excited when she heard the news (which also made Kaho wonder why Ryuunosuke felt the need to inform her about it, but she decided that it's a concern she could ponder over at another time), that she took it upon herself to pick out outfits for both of them, even having them pose together for a picture once she was done. The memory of Miki going over to her home and practically raiding her closet was still fresh on Kaho's mind. She assumed that Miki was just enthusiastic since the hang out was just a rare opportunity for her to style two people who she (legit) made her personal models in the same setting.

But the way the stylist came about it made Kaho think it was for a different reason, and the thought itself made her feel extremely giddy the first time she realized it.

Who could blame her though? Spending the whole day together, with Ryuunosuke planning where they would go, while wearing seemingly matching outfits to boothー if the whole situation was taken out of context, it almost looked like they were on a date.

Kaho blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. Now is not the time to start fantasizing! Especially since she had yet to know the reason why she was the one who Ryuunosuke invited of all the people he knew.

Her eyes briefly darted between Ryuunosuke's eyes and the straw she had been playing with. Perhaps he wouldn't mind it if she asked him, right?

"For some reason," she finally continued after a minute of pausing. She leaned towards the table, resting her chin onto her free palm, as her other hand was still preoccupied with the bending straw she's playing with. "When the person I had a crush on also began to take interest in me and asked me out, that crush I had just vanishes completely as if I never had one in the first place."

Wait, what?

Kaho immediately lifted her head, her eyes widening in alarm. 'Idiot! You're supposed to ask him why he's interested in hanging out with you, not talk about people who're interested in you!'

She mentally sighed, her lips slowly contorting into a tight smile. 'Whatever, the topic's not too far off. I can just find an opening to ask him later.'

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him eyeing her in surprise. He probably wasn't expecting that crushes would be the first thing they would talk about to strike up another conversation, thirty minutes after their last one.

"It's weird, right?" Kaho nervously laughed.

At her voice, Ryuunosuke suddenly blinked, as if he was just snapping out of his reverie. "I don't think it is." He answered.

He then gave her yet another soft smile. "You probably just enjoy doing the chasing and that's not weird at all."

"Probably…" Kaho trailed off, staring down at her bending straw in thought. She didn't think of it that way and, in a way, it does make sense. After pondering over it for a few moments, she locked eyes with Ryuunosuke once again.

"There's also the fact that, once that person began noticing and showing more of their personality to me, I tend to get disappointed because they're usually far from what I've fantasized about them," she explained softly, proceeding to twirl a lock of her hair with her index finger.

"And that really rubs me off the wrong way for some reason…" she sighed.

It took Ryuunosuke a few seconds of staring into space before he mouthed a big 'oh' when he understood what she was saying. "Ahh… it's that kind of disappointment."

"But romantic fantasies are usually just like that, especially if it's towards a person whose personality is what you've hardly known about them." He briefly quirked an eyebrow at her in mild confusion, likely wondering why she was making a big deal out of it. "And that's pretty normal, actually. Nothing weird about that at all."

"I see…" Kaho trailed off. Somehow, that made her feel slightly better, even when it wasn't her main concern in the first place. She discreetly smiled at that.

Ryuunosuke leaned back to his seat and faced the ceiling. "Though, it makes me wonder why you dated Maehara…" he softly muttered, but mostly to himself.

However, Kaho managed to pick that up and let out a gasp, her eyes wide opened in surprise. "Huh?"

"Ah w-what?" Ryuunosuke suddenly jolted when he realized that he said that outloud and was heard. He quickly tore off his gaze from the ceiling and looked at her in alarm, his eyes opened just as wide and in panic.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that!" He hastily apologized.

Kaho quickly snapped out of her surprise and shook her head in response. "Ah no no, it's okay! You're not overstepping anything since it's not that personal."

She then smiled at him reassuringly. "Also, we're both on good terms now, so you don't have to dodge the topic."

Ryuunosuke hesitantly eyed her, his eyebrows furrowed. "...are you sure?" He gently asked.

Kaho let out a hum with a smile in response, nodding her head almost eagerly.

That seemed to reassure him enough to relax his tense posture. He let out a long relieved smile.

"I see… That's good then."

Kaho smiled at him in mild amusement. Sometimes he can be too caring that he tends to worry for the smallest reasons, but she supposed that it's one of his charms. "So what were you about to ask?"

"Ah, it's just that…" Ryuunosuke slightly shifted in his seat. "I don't want to make it seem like I was trying to get something out of you…"

Kaho shook her head. "I'm telling you, it's fine."

"Well, if you insist." Ryuunosuke sighed, leaning towards the table. "Now where was I..?" He rested his chin onto the back of his hand, briefly looking up at the ceiling in thought. "You had a crush on him first, right? And he was the one who asked you out?"

"Uh huh!" Kaho answered, but mostly to confirm that he remembered it right, as she had already told him that herself a while back.

"Since that was the case, he must've felt the same way as you do then." He then returned his gaze towards her. "So why did you date him?"

For a brief moment, they stared at each other's eyes, unblinking.

"Well…" It was Kaho's turn to look up at the ceiling in thought, breaking off the eye contact. "In Maehara's case, when I used to have a huge crush on him, even with just watching him from afar, it didn't take me long to figure out the general idea of what kind of person he is," she answered truthfully, letting out a giggle. "It's mostly because he's very upfront."

Ryuunouske chuckled in amusement at that. "You're not wrong. That guy's personality just screams loudly even from a distance." He mused.

Kaho grinned. "Right? So when we began dating and that I'm seeing more of his personality, I wasn't even the least disappointed since he's exactly as how I imagined him to be." Her grin then softened. "Like even just when he suddenly asked me out, I was already seeing parts of his personality at that moment. So I said yes."

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him gazing softly back at her, the softness in his smile matching his eyes.

"That's really nice… you must've had a great time with him then, huh?"

Kaho nodded. "Yeah, he's a really good guy."

"Even with what went down last month, which sadly didn't end well at that time, it doesn't change the fact that I genuinely enjoyed his company when we were still together." She admitted with a small smile.

"Good for you, then." Ryuunosuke's soft expression then brightened. "I'm glad you're taking it well."

After a few seconds of comforting silence, Kaho also leaned towards the table. She then also rested her chin onto the back of her hand, a rather mischievous glint evident in her eyes. "So, what about you then?"

Ryuunosuke stiffened. "Eh?"

"It's kind of unfair if I'm only the one who talks about things like this, you know?" Kaho mused, smirking.

Ryuunosuke faltered at that. "W-well thats…"

"Oh, come on! Don't be shy~" Kaho grinned teasingly. "What's Ryuunosuke like when he has a crush on someone?" She prodded further, leaning towards him.

Ryuunosuke leaned away and turned to the side, avoiding her gaze at all cost. "The thing is… I don't really get crushes…" He hesitantly admitted.

"Really?" Kaho's teasing smile quickly turned into a confused frown. That was very surprising. "Seriously? Not even once?"

Ryuunosuke turned back to face her again, albeit a bit slowly. "Perhaps I did…" He finally said after a moment of hesitation. "But then again, I could just be confusing it with admiration or respect." He gazed downwards, stroking his chin with his fingers in deep thought.

"Wait." Kaho raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are we talking about here?"

He looked up at her. "It's Ayaka." He nonchalantly admitted.

"Ohh!" Kaho mused at that. It makes sense if she thought about it. They've known each other for three years and have been working together to keep the band going. Surely there are plenty of things that Ryuunosuke would notice about the older girl. "Well, I can't blame you on that. That senpai is hella pretty and smart."

"Hell yeah, she is." Ryuunosuke almost immediately agreed with her and Kaho had to briefly wonder why he sounded so passionate just then. "To be honest with you, it's kind of pissing me off actually." He then admitted.

Kaho chuckled in amusement. "And why is that?"

"Like, think about it. She's pretty, she's smart, fairly popular, and she can pull off any kind of clothing no matter how questionable her fashion sense is!" He exclaimed frustratingly.

"Anything about her personality, though?" Kaho asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ryuunosuke quickly dropped his frustrated expression, staring at her dryly instead in response.

"That's not a good trait." He deadpanned.

"Oi, don't let her hear you say that!"

He waved her off, though. "Not to mention, she's good at biology. That one is really unfair."

"Well, I'm not that good at biology myself, but is that really something you should be mad about the most?" Kaho asked, resting her cheek onto both of her palms.

"Yes?" Ryuunosuke raised an eyebrow at her incredulously. "You know what? She's just probably on my mind because I'm jealous of her." He decided.

"Oh really?" Kaho mused.

Ryuunosuke stubbornly nodded. "Yeah! I mean, of course, I still have my respect for her. But every time I think about Ayaka, the first emotion I feel is always jealousy." He crossed his arms and let out a small huff. "I'm probably just jealous."

Kaho just chuckled at him in pure amusement.

The topic had swerved off enough that there's no point in trying to find an opening to ask him that question, anyways. But Ryuunosuke was becoming more talkative, so Kaho couldn't really bring herself to suddenly switch topics, which can clearly throw him off, as evident as what happened earlier.

For now, she should just enjoy the passionate performance that's being presented right in front of her, seeing as there's not a hint of when Ryuunosuke will stop rambling at this point.

She can just ask him at another time.

My other ChiHo works: Masterlist

#I've had this in my drafts for months now #and i forgot if I was planning to continue writing this or if I'm already done with it 💀#so yeah I decided to just post it ahaha #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #chiba ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke chiba #tsuchiya kaho #kaho tsuchiya #chiho #my writing #Ryuu: that should be believable enough... right? I'm really hoping that ayaka wouldn't learn I just used her as a scapegoat.....

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nemofil · 3 years

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lol thing i wrote

As she sat in the middle of nowhere, she wondered many things. Would she be able to create something truly mind-blowing? Would she be remembered, and regarded as memorable?

But one problem she often encountered was staying one certain thing. Last week, she looked similar to a god of light, gone mad. Yesterday, she looked like a normal child.

But now, she's back to being just a crude idea. Hair, medium length, not too messy, not too neat. A fluffy bedsheet that she called clothing. Eyes that see.

In front of her was a mirror, but it didn't shine. It didn't reflect anything. However, she ignored this, and looked at the crude piece of glass.

Staring at herself, she mouthed: "I look normal. Too normal. I wonder if i have anything to create, to make myself look more... nice?"

She glanced around, and stared at a picture of something. A picture she liked.

The picture depicted a man, ginger hair messy and strands sticking out everywhere. His eyes didn't shine, but that was wonderful. A small, ominous and crudely beautiful mask he held in his hand. A long, torn scarf that represented his eternal dedication to getting more and more powerful, and a shiny blue stone, reminiscent of the ocean, hanging by his waist. His silly, aloof first impression unravels into a mere facade to hide his fascination for the thrill of battle.

"He looks nice." She mouthed, after admiring the picture for a good minute.

"But i can't just take his form. I don't like that. But i wish i could create something like him." She sighed.

"But i can't create something like him. He's already incredible. I can't create anything that can live up to him." She continued.

She opened a book and found another picture she liked.

It depicted a person, two braids of dark hair with it's tips colored turquoise. A relatively large green hat, accompanied by a flower on the side, their outfit looking very light and free, almost like their wish for a gentle breeze to carry a sense of freedom across the land. A bow holding together their cape, which represented the wings of courage and the freedom of a child. A lyre in their hand, whose songs you can probably hear just from looking at a picture of it, and a little charm on their waist that shined with the wish of eternal freedom.

"They look nice."

"But just like before, i can't just take existing designs for myself, and i don't think i'm capable of creating something that lives up to them." She sighed.

"One last design, i guess."

She flipped a page to look at another picture.

It depicted a young female, blond hair tied messily, her dark dress messily tied together, and flowed outwards with a purple that invoked a sense of mystery and hidden power. An eyepatch invoking a question of what was behind it, and an uncovered green eye creating a contrast between herself, and who she really was. On her arm, a mysterious raven that makes you wonder, "Where is she from?". On her back, a purple stone glowed with a powerful force, depicting her outlandishness and wish for a powerful companion. She's someone of high power, or at least seems like someone so.

"She looks nice."

She sighed, and flipped the page one last time.

On the next page, her favorite picture.

It depicted a man, his outfit clearly showing he was of high royalty. A dark, fashionable coat that allows him to hide in the shadows, doing his work as a hidden, uninterrupted force. His crimson-red hair, hastily tied into a ponytail, depicted his determination and dedication. His crimson wish hanged just above his leg, and shined with several different memories; a passion concealed deep inside his heart, a wish made for the sake of someone he'd lost, a sense of an everlingering burden on his shoulders, and a goal to be the beacon of light in a sea of darkness. Though, one is left to wonder; why does he never show this passion? Despite all the joys one of his nature can enjoy, why does he appear downcast? Why does he prefer to remain as a hidden light fighting against darkness? Maybe, once you get to know him enough, you would find out the reason why.

It was clear that she liked this picture very much. She closed the book, and took a little breather. After she could form words again, she muttered:

"He looks nice. But i know i won't be able to create something as impressive as him." She sighed, again.

She opened the book from where she had left off, and looked at all the different pictures she had.

"An immovable stone who seeks to fulfill a contract to the very end. An innocent bystander, granted the ability of immortality as a shell of who she once was, a secretary who-"

She stopped herself, and closed the book, for she didn't want her tears to ruin everything she had.

"No matter what i do, i will never create something as good as them. No matter how hard i try, whatever i create doesn't seem original enough."

Her voice started breaking.

"N-no matter what i try to do, it just never works, n-never! Why does it never..."

"W-what am i missing...?"

She sat in silence for a bit.

"I think i'll stay as a little ghost for just a bit longer."

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butterflydm · 5 years

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The Untamed Rewatch (ep 3)

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aka they are all babies and I can't protect them

What stood out on rewatch (contains spoilers for entire drama);

We get several introductions in this episode. The first is to Mian Mian. I love Mian Mian both for herself and as a parallel for Lan Wangji. For now, I will talk about how their introductory scenes parallel but it happens with them a lot, so this will not be the last time.

Both Mian Mian and Lan Wangji are trying to abide by the rules of their sect and do what their sect would want them to do. Wei Wuxian would like to talk them into making an exception, please. In both cases, Mian Mian and Lan Wangji do consider his arguments and accept his case (Mian Mian in the same conversation and Lan Wangji going up to talk to his brother after the path introduction). Mian Mian and Lan Zhan are both generally rule-abiding but also reasonable.

Jin Zixuan doesn't actually speak much in his scenes. On the heels of the Mian Mian scene, he is coming across as a second parallel for LWJ but a different side of LWJ. He does still come across as arrogant but in my rewatch, I'm wondering how much of that is genuine vs him just not speaking up when other people assert how they believe he's feeling. Which is something LWJ certainly also does.

Also, WWX's blatant disrespect of Jin Zixuan both as a person and for his position really stood out to me in rewatch. He's very deliberate about it, both in words and actions.

I also wonder if JZX might have been deliberately wanting to talk to Jiang Yanli before she left, but he wasn't able to come up with words before his attendant 'helpfully' arrived to tell him he went to the wrong room. Same attendant does a lot of talking for JZX in the earlier confrontation too.

Then WWX arrives and takes over the situation again.

Much like LWJ, JZX seems to have a difficult time expressing himself in words, and he has no idea how to handle WWX's entire personality.

Also: is it possible that, like his mother does later, JZX wonders here if there's potential romance vibes between WWX and JYL, since WWX kind of dominates the conversation? I'm going to keep an eye on JZX's future reactions to WWX and see what I see.

Okay, so they start to set-up the additional drama-only scenes early, from what I've read, in the original novel, the Emperor's Smile scene is Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's first meeting.

So, what purpose does this brief intro scene serve and why add it? I think part of the reason is narrative cohesion — they aren't going to flip and and forth between the past and the present so they need to set out a clear storyline. And it creates that parallel between Mian Mian and Lan Wangji. Plus, it begins the set-up of the corrupted metal storyline. We get to see the beginnings of the interactions between WWX and LWJ but it's a very different vibe than their later solo talk, because they're in public. LWJ reacts to WWX a few notable times in the conversation — he hears WWX say the body is cursed, not dead, and that's what makes him turn around. He also hesitates on the path once he's out of sight, making the decision to go talk to his brother.

The campfire scene with Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng has two particularly interesting moments — we do have Jiang Yanli mentioning that WWX won't keep messing around once things are serious, and we have Jiang Cheng saying WWX might be spending time with either a 'Mian Mian' or a 'Yuan Dao' which… is pretty heavy subtext that both that WWX is bisexual and that his siblings know about it which, for the purposes of the drama specifically, would inform how I might read the scenes where Jiang Yanli or Jiang Cheng react to WWX and LWJ's interactions. So, I'm going to take that interpretation into account in the future. That is also, as I understand it, a departure from WWX's characterization in the novel during this time period, but given that they couldn't do a 'queer realization' on-screen due to censorship concerns, this seems like a really clever side-step.

Then we have WWX breaking into the Cloud Recesses and the rooftop fight and it is… so gorgeous. It's a dynamic and beautiful scene that is filled with little character moments and interactions that will matter down the road.

Lan Zhan. Omg bb. Not every problem needs to be solved with your sword. The image of LWJ putting his sword in front of WWX is going to be very common, so it's fun that the first time is a threat and not protection.

WWX trying to bullshit/charm/bribe LWJ to let him in. I love it.

WWX tries so hard to save his alcohol.

The boys each learn that they've met their match, talent-wise. The implications we get at various points are that there isn't a lot of real competition for either of them, until they meet each other.

It's just… it's just really good. Poor LWJ has never felt so simultaneously annoyed and turned on by someone before, I’m pretty sure. Who can blame him tbh?

Also, so: rooftops. They have their ‘first’ fight on a rooftop and their ‘last’ fight on one as well. I’m gonna think about that for a little while.

Oh, man, the punishment assigning scene is also priceless. Lan Xichen finds WWX both charming and intelligent and is intrigued by how much WWX affects his brother's normally calm attitude. Lan Qiren can tell WWX is smart but you know he's thinking "but at what cost?". The moment when WWX clunks his sword down against Lan Qiren's desk and is glared at is hilarious.

You can just really see how different the expectations are for WWX in Yunmeng than the expectations are in Gusu. WWX is good and smart and kind, even this young, and from his perspective, the Gusu rules are so rigid and arbitrary. But for people who thrive on structure, having rules can be helpful. It depends. The rules will definitely come up again.

Then we met Wen Qing!

I mean, Wen Rouhan is also introduced but w/e, Wen Qing is the important one here and we all know it. So, this will come up later and in more detail, but my reading of Wen Qing and WWX's interactions as a whole is that they remind each other of their respective big sister/little brother sibling relationships, so that's the lens I look at them from most of the time. If I recall correctly, they each get at least one scene where they look at the other one and explicitly flashback to thinking about their sibling.

Here, we establish that Wen Qing is under WRH's thumb and is not thrilled about it, but is made to feel grateful (she’s also not thrilled about that), and even when I was watching the first time, I didn't think she would end up permanently on WRH's side.

The scene with Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji is a good follow-up to the punishment scene earlier -- LXC has noticed that LWJ has a strong reaction to being around WWX and encourages LWJ to explore that potential friendship. I love how genuinely concerned LXC is that his brother might be lonely and overworked.

Our last introduction this episode is to Xue Yang. Here, he’s mostly interesting to me for how his lack of fear contrasts against Wen Qing's concealed terror in her scene with WRH. Xue Yang has no positive connections, nothing he needs to protect or shelter. He doesn’t have anything to lose, so he can play hardball against WRH without any concern. Wen Qing has her brother and her village, both of which are essentially being held hostage against her good behavior.

Xue Yang also mentions here his lack of ambition for power, which contrasts him against WRH but is one of the ways he is a parallel to WWX. Xue Yang was happy enough living in a city of corpses with no real luxuries. WWX is perfectly happy being a lotus farmer or rogue cultivator. Neither of them need the trappings of wealth and power, because both, perhaps, are so aware from their childhood of how easily that can disappear?

It's something about WWX that most of the Sect leaders have a hard time believing, that WWX doesn't want to be wealthy and powerful for its own sake. WWX uses his power but doesn't hoard it just for the sake of having it. He was never interested in challenging Jiang Cheng for the position of heir or to displace him as Jiang sect leader.

Which isn't to say that Xue Yang and WWX aren't competitive — they enjoy flexing their power and enjoy being 'the best' but there's no power-based endgame they care about. They aren't interested in ruling the world.

What people value and how that affects their choices is definitely a big theme in the series as a whole -- do you value your family name? Your reputation? Wealth and power? Helping people? Staying true to your own convictions? And whatever you pick affects whether or not you can keep the other things. WWX didn’t give a fig about his reputation and so he ended up with a very negative reputation that impacted both his relationships and what he was able to accomplish in the world of cultivation politics. Reputation is social currency, and WWX ended up losing all of his.

But that’s a while ahead.

Next time: more introductions!

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#mdzs meta #the untamed #wangxian #the untamed | chen qing ling #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian | wei ying #lan wangji | lan zhan #long post #cql rewatch

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fancyfade · 5 years

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random dc thoughts, because i’m waiting for my dad to finish his coffee so i can have the chair thats comfortable to do hw in

i have been consuming various DC media lately. Obviously Green Lanterns (I mean, I just was posting a ton of screencaps).

Other stuff and thoughts associated

Teen Titans Rebirth: You may think I’d love this because Damian is a very central character and he’s one of my favorite characters, but I didn’t. I appreciated seeing more Al Ghul lore and stuff about Damian’s past, but it didn’t really feel like a ‘team’ set-up. there were some charming parts, like everyone bonding over their supervillain family members (starfire and blackfire, kid flash and reverse flash, raven and trigon, damian and talia and ra’s), but for the most part it felt like the damian show and the other characters were along for the ride, which even though i love damian, if i wanted a damian show and not a team show, i’d read his solo miniseries. there was an arc with aqualad (jackson hyde) i liked, and when everyone got fed up with damian we got to see starfire start being in charge. but it didn’t really feel like kid flash, raven, or beast boy got to do much of anything cool.

Teen Titans (TV show): Like Teen Titans rebirth, this felt disproportionately favoring one character, except I didn’t even like the favored character here. the favored character is robin (again), who is allegedly dick grayson (he’s nightwing later), but he doesn’t really act like him. or more of, he does act like dick, but during dick’s bad times where he’s all “oh i must do everything and i must do it alone”, except this guy never has any good times. he also effectively has superpowers, despite not canonically having superpowers, just because the writers don’t know how to do fight scenes. for instance, in some scenes he’ll push off like... a horde of slade robots piling him (like that thing where you get dog piled and then stand up and knock them all back?) despite starfire (who canonically does have super strength) being unable to do the same thing - in the same episode, in the same fightscene. in fact, often they seem to damsel starfire so he can rescue her which is just shitty and obnoxious.

when they bother to flesh out other characters (like terra’s arc in season 2, cyborgs in season 3, and ravens in season 4), it’s good, but slogging through the episodes they don’t is a pain.

The New Teen Titans: I read some of these after watching the TV show and the team dynamic is actually much better than it was in the TV show. Also starfire felt like a completely different character. I liked her better in the comics. In the comics, she loved and hated with equal intensity, she seemed just as loving with her friends as she was merciless with her enemies. a very interesting contrast which was completely erased in the TV show.

I was also amazed that I didn’t hate wally west? Young Justice (TV show) made me think I’d completely hate him because his character trait for season 1 seemed to be continuously ignoring his female teammates boundaries and hitting on them despite how often they indicated their lack of interest (or trying to get them to kiss him, in the birthday episode). Well he didn’t have that in the comics I read, he seemed to just be a normal person was conflicted between college and superheroics. if i was a wally west fan, i’d be pissed at how they did him in the tv show. unless who knows, maybe he has all those negative character traits in the other places he shows up.

I also felt like they utilized Robin much better. he wasn’t catered to - he was the leader, but he didn’t have any random charles atlas superpowers. when he did cool stuff, it felt like it was because of his training/character, not just because the writers obviously liked him best.

cyborg seems to be really perceptive of how other people are feeling, but doesn’t always show it. that’s true of both the tv show and comics IIRC. also i liked his plotline where he got to hang out with other disabled people.

generally i liked it, but doens’t mean it’s without issues. most of which are around how the writers handle cyborg. (feels like there are some racist tropes in his backstory (he was in a gang and one of the tie in comics has him tell of his friend for blaming white people for his problems) and some ableist tropes in continuously only reffering to him as half human)

young justice: you may notice I tried reading this because I tried posting some screencaps and while some parts were amusing I couldn’t get into it. i can’t remember why though. i think at least part of it had to do w/ female vs male character usefulness in fight scenes, but i’d have to re read to confirm and i really don’t want to.

detective comics rebirth: so far I like it. I love Cass (obviously) though after reading some commentary by spiralcass i definitely agree she seems a bit more simplified and younger from her solo title. I also love batwoman and feel like she gets to have some of batmans traits you don’t often see in a female character (she pushes people just as hard, not really super coddly). and i find the idea of clayface working with the team rather than just going back to jail much more interesting.

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saportuh · 6 years

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ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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ladyscribbles · 3 years

Text

Plot Stumbler: Chapter 1

The day I encountered the trapped-in-a-different-world trope for myself started as a frosty December morning. I was wearing a red plaid skirt with black leggings and--for some reason--only a black sweater. I shivered as I walked down the street, not going anyway in particular. I’d just wanted to escape.

“Why the hell are you home so late?!” my mother yelled the instant Dad slunk inside.

“Why are you yelling at me? I told you I was going to be late,” he said in a subdued and quiet voice.

“Not four hours late! You’ve been hanging around that Akemi bitch, haven’t you?!”

“You think I’m the kind of person that would sleep with her behind your back? You honestly think I would do that to you?” he asked calmly.

“Considering how late it is, yes!”

“For your information, I was stuck in two surgeries.”

“That’s what they all say!”

Irritation crept into his voice. It was clear he was getting tired of her bullshit. “It’s my job. Are you saying I should just go tell those people to screw off because my wife wants more quality time with me?”

“You think I’m that horrible of a person?!”

“It seems like it.”

“Ugh! I can’t believe you!”

“Stop shouting. You’ll wake up Melanie.”

“You just don’t want to hear me tell it to you straight, you non-confrontational, cowardly bastard!”

He growled in exasperation and then happened to look up. His eyes widened the moment our eyes met. Mom turned too, and she gaped at me like I was an alien from outer space. “Then go tell your daughter why she’s awake at two in the morning,” he said without taking his eyes off me.

I closed my eyes. My mom was such a bitch. Not even I could stand her, and I was her own daughter. How my dad did it, I had no idea. Honestly, why didn’t my dad just leave her ass already?

I sighed and opened my eyes. I then noticed that there was a rabbit sitting in front of me. A rabbit? Here in the city? I shrugged and got into a crouch. I reached my hand out to pet it.

“Don’t! It’s dangerous!” someone yelled behind me.

I frowned as I froze. Dangerous? But it was just a little rabbit. How on Earth--

Then suddenly, the rabbit grew to ten feet tall and half as wide, and its teeth were replaced by huge, razor sharp teeth! I gasped as I fell backward onto my rear end.

What the hell was that thing?

It growled, drool escaping from its mouth. Then it lunged. I screamed just as I was grabbed from behind. We whizzed right by the monster rabbit. Whoever had me released me, and I whirled around to find a black woman around my age.

She had a curly rainbow mohawk, the first thing I noticed. She also had shockingly violet eyes that almost seemed to glow. They looked even stranger in contrast to her burnt umber skin.

She was wearing a shoulderless long-sleeved shirt that was black except for its sleeves, which were rainbow. There were also shoulder straps of a black tanktop that was underneath her shirt. There was a black choker with a rainbow heart-shaped charm on her neck. She had black jeans and a white belt on, and on her feet, she wore black combat boots.

I sure couldn’t say she’d blend in with the crowd.

She nodded to me and turned her attention to the rabbit. I gaped as she charged toward the monster. Was this lady nuts? Then she held out her hand, and a giant sword appeared out of nowhere! It dropped into her hand and began to glow in all the colors of the rainbow.

She ran toward the monster and then jumped even higher than the rabbit’s height! She yelled as she raised her sword overhead. She brought it down and sliced it in half. The monster rabbit howled in pain as it disintegrated into dust.

The woman landed on the ground gracefully like a freakin’ ballerina and then turned to me. There was a grin on her face. “Well, that was fun,” she said with a slight African accent (of which country, I had no idea).

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Name’s Avana,” she replied. Then a rift in the atmosphere appeared. Avana placed her sword into it, and the rift disappeared.

“W-what was that?!” I stammered.

“My stash,” Avana said. “That’s where I keep Kiburi.”

“Kiburi?”

“That’s the name of my sword.”

Okay, this lady actually named her sword? And had violet eyes. And a rainbow mohawk?! Not to mention she just killed a freakin’ monster rabbit! What was up with all that?! What the hell was going on here?!

“Considering you saw that, I’m going to guess you’re the one.”

“The one what?”

“You know, the one. You watch movies, don’t you?”

“I don’t live them, so can you please just go?”

“I’m afraid I can’t. And please, let’s skip the whole ‘you’ve got to be mistaken’ thing.”

“But--”

“Normal people aren’t supposed to see those creatures. Or me, for that matter. But you did.”

“Uh...you’ve got to be--”

“You’re going to say it, aren’t you? Even after I asked you not to.”

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“You’ve got to be mistaken?”

“Darn it. You just had to do it, didn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just had to go the cliché route.”

“Uh…”

“Okay, anyway, since you’re the one, you’re going to make Ytol great again.”

“Like Trump?”

“God no! Wait, who is he?”

“Uh, so what exactly is Ytol?”

“Let me show you,” Avana said as she grabbed my arm.

“What are you-”

Suddenly, I was standing in the middle of a lake. I looked down. Whoa, hold on! I wasn’t standing in the lake but rather on it! I was standing on water! Since when had I become Jesus?!

Whatever was keeping me standing collapsed, and I plunged into the icy water below. I gasped and immediately regretted it as water started rushing into my mouth. I felt something tug on my feet and pull me down deeper into its depths. I widened my eyes when I saw a gaping black hole at the lake’s bottom. I screamed, drawing in more water, as I was sucked into it.

Then my feet were on solid ground once more. I immediately collapsed and started coughing and spluttering. Bile rose in my throat, and I vomited. I heard a chuckle from behind me and turned. Avana was there, and she was grinning.

“Yeah, it takes a while to get used to that.”

“What was that?” I asked after wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

She took my hand and hoisted me to my feet. “I call it the in-between. It’s where you go between teleportations.”

“Whoa, hold on, we just teleported?”

“Duh. So anyway, this is Ytol.” I then took my first look at my surroundings, and my eyes bulged out of my skull so much I was sure they’d pop out. The sky was pink, the clouds purple, and the grass orange. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a shock the first time.”

I frowned. First time? “How many times have you done this?”

“Enough,” she replied just before dropping to the ground.

I widened my eyes and ran to her side. I turned her so she was now lying on her back and saw she was unconscious. At least, I hoped so. I felt for a pulse and froze when I didn’t feel one.

Oh, God.

Panicked thoughts began to invade my head, but I quickly pushed them away as I got into position. There was no time for that.

I put my lips on hers to blow air into her lungs when suddenly, I felt Avana grab the back of my head. She held it tightly as she kissed me. I widened my eyes in shock and jerked away from her.

She opened her eyes and then widened them in horror. “Oh, shit! You’re not--”

“Uh…” was all that came out of my mouth, too stunned to say anything else. My heart was beating so fast I was sure it was going to burst out of my chest--whether it was out of fear I didn’t know. And I couldn’t get the taste of coffee out of my mouth.

I love coffee.

SHUT UP!

“So...um...that happened.”

“You...you didn’t have a pulse so I was just…just...uh…” At this point, I was sure my cheeks were redder than beets. And by the way, you taste like coffee…

Oh, my God, SHUT UP!

She burst into laughter. I frowned, but she didn’t seem to notice. In fact, it took her a good few minutes to stop. Why she’d laughed that much, I didn’t know. It hadn’t seemed very funny to me. She wiped away the tears that’d welled in her eyes.

“No wonder you panicked! I guess I should’ve told you earlier: you won’t find a pulse on me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” I must’ve misheard her. I must’ve.

“That’s what happens when you go through the in-between too much. You turn as much in-between as it,” she said with a hollow smile. As in-between as it? What did she mean by that? She saw my confused look and sighed. “You’re not dead, but you’re not alive either. You’re just in-between.”

My blood ran cold. “You’re kidding, right?”

But her pulse…her pulse…

“Nope,” she exclaimed cheerfully--obviously fake--as she rose to her feet.

I pinched the bridge of my nose tightly and took deep breaths. This was crazy. This was insane! A person couldn’t just not have a pulse! That was unheard of! At least when it came to the living!

You’re not dead, but you’re not alive either. You’re just in-between.

No! No way! There were only two options! Either you’re alive or you’re dead. Simple as that. There was no in-between. There shouldn’t have been any in-between!

“And you’re just okay with this? This crazy-ass phenomenon that’s breaking every law of science?!”

“No, but all the same, I’ve got to deal with it, because that’s my reality now,” she said in a hardened voice.

I stopped, sensing there was much more under the surface than she was letting on. “Okay, so you said I’m the chosen one or whatever?” I asked instead, changing the subject. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, there’s this real evil ruler on Ytol who needs to be defeated. Yeah, I know, what a cliché, right?”

No kidding. Then again, clichés were easy to understand, I supposed. They were easy to follow, since I’d seen them so much before in movies. The trouble was, this wasn’t the damn movies.

“So, I’ll have to defeat said ruler?”

“Exactly. You’re pretty sharp once you get over the initial shock of it all.”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Anyway, how the hell do you expect me to defeat this king or queen or whoever?”

“First off, it’s an empress. Second off, your first step will be to summon your weapon.”

“My weapon?”

She held out her hand, and her rainbow sword--Kiburi, I remembered--appeared. In the split second that it appeared, I saw a hole open up in the air, big enough for the sword to travel through. Then less than a second later, it was gone. I was shocked that I’d even noticed it this time, considering how quick it’d happened.

“Yeah, like I said before, I have a stash.”

“And how the hell did you make that ‘stash’, or whatever the hell you call it?”

“I didn’t. Someone else did.”

“Who?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know it’s mine now.”

“And what makes you think that?”

She handed the sword to me. I picked it up and immediately dropped it. God, it was heavy! How was she able to swing this thing?! She picked it up from the ground with ease. “It’s just the right weight for me, and only me.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. This thing’s just freakin’ awesome!”

“Is that why you named it Kiburi?” I asked, guessing its meaning was somewhere along the lines of “awesome”.

“No,” she said in a suddenly solemn voice.

I blinked in surprise. Okay, touchy subject, then. “Um, okay, so am I supposed to get a weapon too?”

“Probably. Considering you’re the chosen one.”

“Okay...so...what do I do?”

“Just hold out your hand.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, you also have to look like you’re constipated.” I glared at her, which, to my disappointment, didn’t seem to faze her at all. “Alas, she saw right through my ploy,” she muttered with a grin. She then cleared her throat. “Yeah, just hold out your hand.”

I held out my hand and waited. And waited. But nothing happened. “Um...is something supposed to happen?” Or are you just pulling my leg again?

Avana frowned as she approached me. She stared at my empty hand, and then she started walking around it, observing it from every angle, as if she was some kind of scientist studying her specimen. Finally, she shook her head and straightened herself.

“That’s so weird. I would’ve thought you’d have one, considering.”

“You know what? Maybe I’m not ‘the one’ like you thought.”

She shook her head. “No way. You’re the one.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“White and straight. Obvious chosen one.”

I widened my eyes, and she grinned. “Just kidding. Seriously, though. I can just sense it.”

“You can sense it,” I replied skeptically.

Avana raised her brow. “A doubter, huh? Well, if you’re looking for proof, I’ll just take you to a guy I know.”

“One of those wise old men?”

She grinned and tipped her imaginary hat to me. “Well, well, well! Someone’s been paying attention to her clichés.”

“Um, yeah. So where is this guy?”

She turned, and I followed her gaze to a single, unbelievable huge building that was probably as wide and long as a castle and way taller than any skyscraper I’d ever seen! It was actually higher than the clouds! I had to squint, but at the top, I could see that more construction was going on.

“That’s a big-ass building,” I said in wonder.

“That’s Ytolia City.”

I turned and gaped at her in astonishment. “That’s a city?!”

She nodded. “Yeah. The capitol of Ytol, too. Anyway, here in Ytol, rather than take up a bunch of land, they just keep building up and up and up. That thing there has hundreds of floors--some of them are dedicated just to living space.”

“You know the dimensions?”

“I wouldn’t bother telling the height to you now since it looks like they’re building more up, but the length and width won’t change, I’m sure. It’s six thousand by six thousand feet.”

“Jesus. You said the city residents live in there?”

“Yeah. Each apartment’s about one thousand square feet, so there’s about thirty-six thousand apartments per floor. They’re all interconnected too.”

“Oh my God! How many floors are dedicated to apartments?”

“I’d say at least twenty. Maybe thirty.”

I ran the math through my head. “So there’s 720,000 to 1,800,000 apartments in that building?”

“Ooh, a math whiz over here. Anyway, yeah, your calculations sound right.”

I shook my head in disbelief. And I didn’t even know how many people lived in each apartment! God, this building must’ve had millions, maybe even tens of millions, of people living in it! All in a single building!

“Yeah, crazy right?”

Crazy didn’t even cover it! And those floors were just a small percentage of the building! “What are the other floors used for?”

“Name it, they’ve got a floor for it. Restaurants, fast food, groceries, clothes, video games,, sports, holiday stuff...you get the idea.”

“So each of the floors is dedicated to one thing?” I asked.

Avana nodded. She then giggled as she blushed. “There’s even one full of stripper bars,” she hissed in my ear.

My cheeks flushed red about the thought of such a place. “I’m never going to that floor,” I muttered, to which Avana roared with laughter.

“Yeah, no kidding!” she exclaimed. “I only know about it because I had to pass it to get to the library floor.”

I perked at that. “Library floor?”

Avana grinned. “You a bookworm too?”

A bookworm? That was an understatement, considering I’d bought a hundred books from a library book sale for just twenty-five bucks once. Or maybe it was twice. My room at home was practically a library, considering the walls in there were lined with bookshelves!

I then frowned. Home. I wonder if Dad misses me. Does he know I’m gone? Is he out looking for me? Then a much more bitter thought entered my head: I bet Mom wouldn’t even notice.

I sighed, and Avana must’ve noticed, because she asked, “Is everything fine?”

Hell no, I thought. But all I said was, “Yeah. Just getting a little homesick, I guess.”

“You won’t see me getting homesick,” she replied bitterly, and her accent became much more pronounced than before. For a second, the darkest of looks spread across her face, but it was gone in a second. She shook her head, as if to snap herself out of a trance. “Let’s go,” Avana said as she started walking toward the building in the far distance.

I nodded and almost had to run to catch up with her lengthy strides. God, her legs were long! I commented on this, and she smiled at that. “Yeah, I’m a real good runner. They used to call me Umeme.”

“Is that Swahili?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah. I ran faster than the electricity in a new home ever could. That’s what they said, anyway.”

“Do you like running?”

“Had to, considering I ran everyday.”

“For fun?”

“So my guy’s on Floor Sixteen.” It didn’t go unnoticed by me that she’d deliberately avoided my question by changing the subject. However, I didn’t press her about it, since it was her business and hers alone.

“Um, what’s he like?”

“He’s wise.”

“That’s not much of a personality.”

“It works in the movies, doesn’t it?”

“Well, this isn’t the movies, last I checked.”

“Okay, well, he’s loud.”

“How loud?”

“You go to church?”

“Um, no. I mean, I’m religious, but I just don’t go to church.”

“Gotcha. Anywho, church--at least the one I went to--was what you’d call a ‘black’ church. Everybody was black--duh--and everybody was up on their feet and singing and dancing to their hearts’ content until the walls were shaking, both the chorus and everyone else. This could go on for eternity--us singing and dancing and praying to Jesus until the Holy Spirit finally left us.”

“Wow, that sounds way different from the church I went to once when I was little. We just sat quietly at the pews while the pastor read straight from the bible. No singing.”

“Yeah, that’s funny, hearing ‘quiet’ paired with ‘church’. When we weren’t singing along to the hymns with the chorus, the pastor would bellow at the top of his lungs about the Devil and how if we weren’t careful, we’d all be roasting in hell. I don’t even remember if he ever talked about heaven. All I remember is hell, hell, hell.”

“Sounds like one hell of a guy.”

Avana giggled. “Yeah. Anywho, that’s how Benito is. He’s loud enough to wake the dead and would preach to them too if he could.”

“Just what does he preach?”

“Not sure. It’s always in some language I don’t know, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Hablo. Ich spreche. Je parle. Watashi wa hanasu.”

“Spanish… Is ich spreche German?” She nodded, and I continued figuring out each language she’d used. “Then French...and then Japanese. Wait, hold on, you can speak Spanish, German, French, and Japanese?!”

“And nearly every language of Africa,” Avana replied as she puffed out with pride.

I shook my head in wonder. God, she must’ve been a freakin’ genius! “And you can speak them all fluently?!” Oh! Now that I think about it, she can speak English fluently too! Wow, she sure is a wonder!

“Yeah, though there are a few words that I struggle with, especially slang. Like what does the phrase ‘knocked up’ mean? I’ve heard it, but I’ve never understood it.”

My cheeks flushed red. “Uh, well… Um, if someone doesn’t plan on having a baby but then someone gets her pregnant, then she just got ‘knocked up’.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, back to...what was his name? Benito?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so he’s loud. What else?”

“Uh, he’s white and straight like you.”

“Wait, how do you know he’s straight?”

“He told me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He’s always blurting out random facts about himself. And others.”

“So he’s a trivia nut?”

“Yeah. Don’t play Trivia Pursuit with him. Or watch Jeopardy. He’ll make you crazy. He’s dramatic about everything too.”

“Note taken.”

There were a few moments of silence as we tried to figure out how to continue the conversation. Then I started thinking about how Avana knew so much about this place even though she couldn’t have been from here.

“So how long have you been here?”

“Long enough.”

“Okay, how long is ‘long enough’?” She sighed, and I realized I must’ve been aggravating her with my questions. “Sorry I’m going reporter on you. Half the time I don’t even catch myself doing it.”

She immediately waved her hand in dismissal. “No, it’s fine. I...I just don’t like thinking about it.”

“About what?”

“About how I shouldn’t even be here,” she muttered angrily.

Avana then stopped. She held out her hand, and Kiburi appeared in a flash. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

She didn’t seem to hear me. I could tell she was focused on something, but on what, I didn’t know. Then a white bunny leapt out of a nearby bush and lunged at her.

In the split second it was in the air, I wondered what a cute, little thing was doing here, but then I remembered what’d happened when Avana and I had met.

“Avana!” I yelled just as she caught the creature by the ears.

I blinked in surprise when she moved the animal so that she could hold it by the bottom. She then started petting it affectionately while humming softly to it.

“Uh…”

Avana turned to me and saw that I was confused as hell and trying to figure out what the hell was going on here. “You don’t have to worry about this little guy,” she said as she walked over to me. “He’s mine.”

“You have a pet rabbit?”

“Yeah. He’s the only rabbit in Ytol that won’t try to spill my guts and then devour them.”

“Thanks for the pleasant description.” Avana only shrugged. “Okay, so how’d you know it wouldn’t end up murdering you?”

“I’ve known him since he was a little baby.” She then turned to the beast, and they rubbed noses. “Haven’t I, Benji? Haven’t I?” The rabbit’s teeth started chattering. “Aw, you’re purring,” Avana said in an affectionate voice. Purring? She called that purring? “Did you miss Mama, little Benji? Did you?”

“Benji?”

“Short for Benjamin.”

“It doesn’t turn into a killer rabbit, does it?”

“He does when I need him to.” She started scratching his belly, and he started thumping his foot against her chest excitedly. “You help Mama in battle, don’t you? Don’t you?”

“Against other rabbits?”

“Those and more.”

More? “You saying those killer rabbits aren’t the only things from this place that won’t try to murder us?!”

“Duh. I did tell you about the evil empress lady you’ll have to defeat, didn’t I?”

“And lucky me will have to deal with her minions?” I asked.

Avana nodded. “Yeah.”

“Lovely,” I muttered. “And that’s if you’re right about this ‘chosen one’ shit.”

“I am.”

“And your evidence is a feeling.”

“Feelings matter in this place.”

“Yeah...sure.”

“I’m serious.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re right.”

“You’ll find out soon enough from Benito.”

“How do you know you’re not the ‘chosen one’?”

A dark look spread over her face. “I’m not,” she growled. She then sighed as the darkness passed. “We should get a move on,” she said as she started walking once more.

Several minutes passed, and we didn’t speak for the entire time. I was too unnerved by that look she’d had. Honest to God, it’d scared me.

Finally, we arrived at the base of the building. I looked up. God, it seemed to just stretch forever! I suddenly felt as small as an ant.

“Shocking, right?”

I swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Welcome to Ytolia City!” she exclaimed as she swung open the large double doors, her rabbit jumping up onto her head right before doing so.

She was immediately bathed in golden light. She looked like an angel that’d just come from heaven. I tried to look past her, but I immediately had to shield my eyes. God! Why the hell was that so bright?!

“You coming?” she asked.

I nodded, and, squinting, made my way forward. The doors slammed shut behind us, and the light immediately vanished. I opened my eyes fully, relieved that they no longer had to suffer, and I looked around, trying to find the source of the light.

The first thing I saw was the giant spiraling staircase in the middle of the room. Rather than simple old railings, there were golden dragons chasing each other and continuing for what seemed like infinity. I ran to the center of the stairway, at which there was a circle on the ground made up by a rainbow dragon chasing its tail with rainbow flames in the middle of the circle, reaching their fiery fingers up toward the magnificent beast. I looked up and...uh...I couldn’t even see the top.

“Where does this thing even lead?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” Avana replied as she approached me, that damn thing still on her head like it was Pikachu or something.

“How the hell has that thing not fallen off yet?”

“Benji’s really graceful,” she said before reaching up to rub the top of its head. It “purred”, as Avana would’ve put it, in response.

“Okay, so you have no idea where this leads?”

“Nope. Nobody knows.”

I turned to her in astonishment. “You’re kidding!”

She shook her head. “I’m serious. Nobody’s been up here. It’s off limits.”

“How do you know?”

“Uh, are you two just going to stand there or are you going to check in?” a female voice said from behind us.

I turned to see a tan (like, glorious-sun-god kind of tan) thirty-or-something-year-old woman standing behind the counter--the receptionist. She had an absurdly large beehive of dark purple hair and violet eyes just like Avana. Her lips were the same color as her hair. She was wearing a lavender crop top that didn’t even cover her belly button and short--like, really short--purple shorts.

I blinked in surprise, wondering if this was just some crazy monochromatic hallucination. Then Avana jabbed her thumb at the woman. “She told me.”

The woman immediately lit up the moment she heard Avana’s voice. “Oh, hey!” she greeted with a friendly wave. “I haven’t seen you in here forever!”

Avana grinned as she went up to her, and she leaned over on the counter. “Hi, Amethyst! Yeah, I’ve been busy.” She then jabbed her thumb at me. “Busy saving her butt over there.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s from around here.”

“No kidding. That’s an Earthling right there.”

“So she’s just like you!” Amethyst (God, I have to say that name’s fitting) then looked me up and down and scowled. “Ugh, her clothes are so drab, just like yours were! Though I’ll give her this: they’re not dirty rags.”

I turned to Avana. Dirty rags? “Well, she also didn’t grow up in Kenya,” Avana replied, and I sensed once again some bitterness, though this wasn’t quite so deep like the other times that feeling had shown itself.

“Were you poor?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Avana blinked at the question and then laughed, which took me entirely by surprise. “Poor?! Ha! I wasn’t just poor! I was knee-deep in poverty!” I noticed the humor hadn’t moved to her eyes. “Worms and dirt were my daily meal! My daily nutrients! And soap--God bless soap--was a freakin’ luxury! Ha!”

I was alarmed to see tears welling up in her eyes. Avana quickly hid her face and walked away without another word. I stared after her, wondering how this all had just come out of the blue.

“I can’t imagine that existing on a planet,” I heard Amethyst say. I turned and waited for her to clarify, hoping she’d have some exposition for me. “Here, everyone has been given a home. Everyone has known what a home was since birth. And nobody has ever starved. If someone didn’t have any food, then others were glad to give it. If someone didn’t have any water, then others were glad to let others drink theirs. It’s always been like that. When someone needed something, there was always someone who’d help. I can’t imagine that not existing in any place.”

“Avana didn’t have any of that?”

The woman shook her head. “Not from what she’s told me. She grew up alone. No parents, no siblings, nobody. She had to fight on her own to survive on the streets.”

“She lived on the streets?”

“Yeah. Like she said, she didn’t have any money. The only thing that kept her from starving was eating dirt and worms.” Bile rose in my throat. God. She continued. “She didn’t have any education either, considering school was too expensive. She couldn’t even afford food, so why would she spend it on school?”

I thought about how she knew so many languages and how she was able to speak them fluently. “She seems pretty educated to me.”

“She’s smart. Smarter than anyone I know. But it wasn’t until she came here that she finally got the chance to gain knowledge about stuff. Hell, she didn’t even know how to read or write.”

“Then how did she learn?”

“I taught her.”

“You did?”

Amethyst nodded, and I saw her chest puff up a bit in pride, and a prideful fire started burning in her eyes. “She picked it up so fast, too. It only took her about six months. She’s the best student I’ve ever had, no joke about it.”

“You’re a teacher?”

She nodded. “I teach English at one of the high schools on the education floor.”

“Wait, how’d you teach her if you don’t know Swahili?” I asked, taking into account that Avana had been raised in Kenya.

“She knew how to speak English--at least enough to communicate with me.”

“But you said she didn’t have any education.”

“She didn’t. She picked it up from others.”

“Wow.”

“Avana is quite amazing when it comes to languages. The moment I showed her the library floor, the first things she devoured were books on learning different languages. She went through those like crazy. She learned Spanish and French in just six months, and German short after. Japanese was the hardest for her since it had kanji in addition to hiragana and katakana, but still, she was able to become fluent in the language just a year after learning it.”

“You’re kidding!”

She shook her head and grinned. “And before I even knew her, she’d already taught herself most of the languages of Africa, in addition to Swahili of course.”

“Wow. Avana must be a genius!”

“Yes. It’s just so sad, though.”

“What?”

“Hey, let’s take you to Benito,” I heard Avana declare from behind me. I turned and saw she was grinning. Her smile was strained though. Not to mention her eyes were rimmed with red. “He’ll show you that you’re meant to be here.”

“She still needs to check in!” Amethyst exclaimed in exasperation.

“Oh, yeah. Right.”

“So is this like a hotel or something?” I asked.

Amethyst shook her head. “You have to register for your permanent living space.”

“But I’m not going to live here.” Amethyst and Avana exchanged glances.

“What?” I demanded.

“You can’t go back,” Avana replied.

“Uh, what’s with the bullshit right now? We can just teleport back with that magic crap you pulled.”

Avana shook her head, and a fist of fear grabbed my heart. No? What did she mean by no? “You can’t go back. Not back to your normal life.”

“W-why not?”

Avana turned so her back was to me, and she lifted the back of her shirt. The color immediately drained from my face. There was a giant scar straight in the middle of her back that ran from top to bottom. It was made even more startling by how its paleness contrasted with her dark skin.

“W-what the hell is that?!” I exclaimed.

She turned to face me once more. “Staying outside of Ytol for too long threatens to tear your body apart. I tried to do that on Earth. I’m lucky I only got away with this.”

She called that lucky?! “God!”

“Yeah. You should’ve seen it right as it happened. Wasn’t exactly pretty.”

“Hopefully my student won’t do something stupid like that again, considering the experience nearly killed her,” Amethyst added.

I gulped. Nearly killed her. Jesus.

“It wasn’t stupid. It was just--” Avana froze, and her gaze slid to the floor.

“How long have you been here?” I asked, not yet aware I’d voiced my thought aloud.

“Five years. Since I was eighteen.”

“Wow. That’s a long time. Don’t you miss home?”

The moment I said it, it struck a chord deep within my heart. I thought about them fighting again. Maybe they were fighting over me, who knows? I thought about the bitch I had to call Mom doing all the yelling while my father just stood there and took it with that calm composure of his. I thought about how quickly that calm composure might change now that I wasn’t there--that I wouldn’t ever get to go back.

“Why is Mommy a bitch?” I asked Dad as he started tying my shoes. He stiffened, the bunny ears frozen in his fingers.

“Where’d you get such a potty mouth?” he asked in a joking voice, though I could tell it was quite strained.

“I heard you two fighting last night,” I said quietly.

“I see,” Dad replied as he finished tying my shoes and slowly rose to his feet.

He looked out toward the distance, and I followed his gaze to the setting sun. I turned back and was startled to find that a tear had trickled down his cheek. “Dad! You’re crying!” I exclaimed in alarm.

Dad shook his head, as if snapping himself out of a trance, and he quickly wiped the tear away. He then grinned and swept me into his arms. He tossed me into the air and caught me before I could fall to the ground. I giggled all the while.

“What were you looking at?” I asked him.

“The sun was setting. It made me quite sad,” he replied in a sorrowful voice.

“Was that why you were crying?”

“When a sun sets, it reminds me that some things are coming to an end, much like how day is coming to an end right now.”

“But it’ll be back in the morning, right?”

He hesitated, and even though I was only five at the time, I could tell he was afraid of telling me something more than just yes or no. He eventually replied, “I’m not sure, honey. I’m honestly not sure.”

“Is this one of your stories, Dad?”

“Huh?”

“You know how you’re always telling me stuff. In your story, is the sun not going to come up again?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” He then smiled sheepishly at me. “I suppose I need to start at the beginning, don’t I? Otherwise it wouldn’t be a very good story.”

“What about Frankenstein? By the shell lady?”

“Shell lady? Oh, you mean Mary Shelley?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I guess.”

“What does a little twerp like you know about Frankenstein?” he asked as he tickled me a bit.

“It starts at the end!” I said between laughs.

“Where’d you hear about Frankenstein?”

“Karen.”

“Who’s Karen?”

“She has two dogs, a parrot, two dogs, and a goldfish. And two boys! They gave me some guys.” I pulled out a couple of action figures I’d stored in the large pocket of my overalls and showed them to him. “Batman and Spiderman!”

“Oh, your babysitter! I’m always thinking her name’s Nicole.”

“What’s the story? Are there spiders and bats and ghosts?”

He laughed. “Well, there’s a mommy spider and a daddy spider.”

“Why are they spiders?”

“Because they are.”

“Can they be ghosts instead?”

“They’re spider ghosts.”

“Because I squished them with my boot!”

“Yes, you sure did. Okay, here goes. There once was a family of spider ghosts. There was a mommy and a daddy and a baby one too.”

“The baby was named Baby Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“No, not Maggie. Baby Maggie.”

“Oh, of course. Anyway, they all loved each other very much.”

“And they watched Gravity Falls together.”

“Uh, yes. That was their favorite movie.”

“Don’t you mean show? It’s a show, Dad.”

“Oh, right. That’s what I meant. Anyway, they loved each other so, so much, and they were so happy too. But then-”

“But then?”

His eyes grew misty as he continued. “The mommy spider ghost started getting angry at something. And the anger started taking away the good things about her.”

“The mommy spider ghost was going bad?”

He nodded. “The mommy and daddy started fighting a lot. And one day, the baby spider woke up and started crying. The daddy and mommy didn’t hear her, though. They were being too loud. The next day, when the daddy was walking with the baby spider ghost, she told him that she’d heard them fighting.” He clenched his jaw and then picked me up as something I couldn’t describe entered his eyes. “And the daddy spider ghost doesn’t want the baby spider to hear them fighting ever again.”

“Why?”

“Because the baby spider ghost shouldn’t have to wake up to that. The daddy doesn’t want his baby to hear that anymore.”

I sighed and buried my head in my hands. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home to the man who tried his damndest not to let me hear their fighting. I wanted to go home to the man who refused to raise his voice at my mother, not even when she was being a total bitch.

I wanted my father.

“Benito will know.”

I looked up at Avana through my hands. “What?”

“Benito must know if we can return home for good.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will. I can feel it.”

“Again with the feeling,” I grumbled. I was starting to think that this nonsense coming out her mouth was all it was: nonsense. “Maybe I’ll just take my chances going home.”

“Benito’s never wrong,” Amethyst said. “He can see things others can’t.”

“So he’s crazy.”

“Don’t call him that,” Avana snapped in a surprisingly aggressive voice. She must have noticed it too, because she added in a much toned down voice, “He’s the real deal, okay?”

“You guys think I’m just going to accept this just because you say it’s so.”

“He knew Amethyst was going to be a teacher.”

“Oh, wow. How impressive,” I replied drily.

“You don’t understand.”

“I was studying engineering in university,” Amethyst said. “I was extremely skilled in mathematics and science. They were my favorite subjects in school, too.”

“What about English?”

“Hated it.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I hated every English class I’d ever taken. I was good at English, sure, but I hated every minute of it.”

“Okay, so what? You just decided to do a one-eighty?”

“Well, here’s the thing: I met this guy in college.”

“It’s always a guy,” I muttered.

“I know, right?” Avana hissed in my ear, and I grinned.

Amethyst scowled at the both of us. “Anyway, he’d write poetry to me.”

“Poetry? Woo. Haven’t heard that before.”

“Anyway,” Amethyst continued after sending an icy glare my way, “Navin, while we were dating, would always write me this poetry, and it wasn’t like any I’d seen before. It didn’t follow any rules. It didn’t care about meter or number of syllables or anything. He just let the words flow out naturally and didn’t try to force anything with them.”

“Let me guess: this made you see poetry in a new light, and you decided to try it out for yourself, and when you did, you wanted other people to know that you didn’t have to follow the rules, so you took up teaching.”

“Um, yes.”

“Anyone could’ve predicted that.”

“First off, maybe not. Second, Benito predicted she’d become an English teacher before she even met Navin,” Avana replied. “Before she was even in university.”

“He knew since I was born,” Amethyst added.

“He knew since you were born?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean anything. He said you’d be one thing, and you unconsciously moved yourself toward that.”

“He never told me I would be a teacher.”

“Then how the hell do you know he said that?”

“He told my parents. He also told them not to tell me until I’d become a teacher.”

“Okay, so you’re saying that everything’s up to fate? That we don’t have a choice in the matter? There’s no way that’s right.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” Amethyst replied. “Yes, the end result is fixed, but what you do to get there is entirely up to you. If Benito had told me, I probably would’ve forced myself into studying English at every moment. Or maybe I would’ve forced myself to choose the farthest thing from it just in defiance. But since I didn’t know I had a set fate, my life played out naturally. I didn’t force myself to do anything because I thought every action I took felt right. I studied engineering in college because I thought it was right. But eventually, I found out on my own that teaching English was really the true right path for me. And now, I love every second of it.”

“Okay, thank you for the inspirational quote, but what does it have to do with getting home?”

“Look, Benito can see the end result of everybody’s future. He’ll be able to tell if you’ll end up home or not.”

“So I’m only going to get a yes or no? No how?”

“Right.”

“What kind of old, wise prophet is this guy?” I muttered.

“You’d at least be reassured that you will get home.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, come on! Let’s just go already!”

“She still needs to check in.”

“I thought you said you were a teacher. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“This is my summer job.”

“Wait, it’s summer here?”

Amethyst gave me a strange look, and Avana explained, “It’s winter where she’s from.”

“Can we just skip the check-in? At least for now?” At least let me believe I won’t be here forever.

Amethyst sighed and waved her hand in dismissal. “Just this one time. Now go.”

Avana tipped her head in respect, nearly sending that beast of hers tumbling to the ground. Luckily for it, it managed to hold on to her hair and scramble back onto the top of her head. “Thanks. I’ll pay you back later,” she said as she started walking away.

“Tell Benito hi for me,” Amethyst replied.

Avana stopped in her tracks, and I saw her fists clench and then unclench in less than a second, before she started walking again. I didn’t comment on it as I ran to catch up to her, though I had to wonder why she’d gotten so irked just now.

She stopped in front of an elevator. It looked normal enough, which was probably why I hadn’t noticed it at all when we came in. Avana pressed the up button, and we waited patiently for a few moments. The doors slid open, and several people bustled out, nearly running me over. I stumbled backwards, shocked, and just barely managed to stay on my feet. Avana reached her hand out to steady me. Once the stampede was past us, I was able to breathe again.

“That’s Ytolia City for you,” Avana said as she stepped into the now vacant elevator.

I nodded and followed her inside. She pressed a button marked sixteen out of hundreds. I swallowed as the doors slid shut. The elevator started going up. I moved toward the corner of the tiny room and clutched the railing tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to think about the walls closing in on me.

There was a ding, and I heard the elevator doors open. I opened my eyes just as a bunch of people rushed inside, immediately filling the room. I tried to take a step back even though I knew I couldn’t. I swallowed again as I tried to control my racing heart. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how close everything and everyone was.

Too close too close too close.

You’re fine.

Too close.

You’re fine.

Too close.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked down and recognized it as Avana’s. I looked up, but I couldn’t see her. The rest of her was hidden by the crowd. Warmth emanated from her palm, and my heart rate slowed to a steady pace.

Someone bumped into me, and I squeezed Avana’s hand tightly. Then the elevator dinged as the doors opened again. Everyone poured out, leaving me alone with Avana. The doors shut, and I sighed in relief.

Avana released my hand. “You okay?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Just don’t like tight spaces.”

I closed my eyes, and immediately, the image of me banging my fists against the door in manic fear flashed through my mind. I immediately shoved the memory away.

“Are you sure?” Avana asked.

I nodded just as the doors slid open once more. I braced myself, fearful another tidal wave was coming, but no one came. I relaxed, and I saw Avana smile slightly at me before she walked out of the elevator. I hurried after her, anxious to get out of that tiny metal box.

“So how long have you had claustrophobia?” Avana asked the instant I caught up.

The memory barged into my mind again, and I immediately shoved it away. “Since I was little,” I replied.

I then looked at my surroundings and frowned. We were in a living room. A flat-screen TV completely covered one way, which was currently playing some kids show, and against the wall across from it, there was a brown couch on which were two adults with two kids who I assumed were theirs. They didn’t even seem to notice we were there.

“Uh, this isn’t Benito’s apartment, is it?”

Avana shook her head and strode right past the family. To my surprise, they didn’t react at all. It was like they saw right through her. “We have to go through here and then a few more apartments to get to his.”

I followed her into the kitchen, and there was a door beside a refrigerator to my right. Avana was about to leave through it when I asked, “What’s going on?”

She turned to face me. “What do you mean?”

“This is somebody else’s home. It belongs to someone we don’t even know, and we’re just walking straight through it. And they don’t seem to notice it at all.”

“You heard me when I said the apartments were interconnected, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you meant this.”

“Okay, yeah, I get it. It’s a little weird to get used to. That’s just Ytolia City for you.”

“The weirdest thing to me is how they didn’t seem to notice us at all. Didn’t they see us?”

To my shock, Avana shook her head. “Nope. They can’t see us at all. To them, we’re invisible.”

“Uh, how?”

“Technology!” Avana exclaimed while wiggling her fingers dramatically. “Woo!” I waited for her to clarify, and luckily, I wasn’t disappointed. “There are tiny devices--so small you can’t even see them--set up in every apartment. If they sense a non-resident, they cloak him or her so the family can’t see. Or hear, for that matter.”

“Do people walk in and out all the time?”

“Well, yeah. It’s impossible to get to your apartment without going through somebody else’s.”

Avana walked out the door, and I followed her into another living room, this one belonging to a single woman. She was typing furiously on a laptop, and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” she screamed at the device as she started pounding the keys with her fists.

I stopped and stared at her as she rose from the sofa and started pacing around while yelling profanities at no one in particular. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. This was wrong. I didn’t have the right to see this random woman at her lowest point. This was too personal. This should’ve been private. Her moment and hers alone. How could people be okay with this?

“You coming?” Avana asked, having already reached the next door.

“This doesn’t bother you?”

“What?”

“What do you mean, what? This! This whole barging into other people’s homes and being able to see their private moments in all their naked glory! How can you not--”

“It’s how life goes here. Everyone sees the good and the bad with everyone.”

Avana continued, and I reluctantly followed. A deep feeling of uneasiness never left my stomach, though. We entered another living room, and to my relief, this one was empty. Well, empty of people anyway.

“Somebody’s feeling lonely and depressed,” Avana commented, referring to the multiple ice cream containers on the floor. There were also a countless number of candy wrappers littering the floor--so many that they had become the floor. Lonely and depressed indeed.

I didn’t like this, being able to just see everything about a person, their good and their bad times. I wouldn’t want everyone to see my everything. There were some things I didn’t want others to see. So why was I able to see this, then?

A door creaked, and I turned my attention to Avana, who was halfway out. She beckoned me to come on, and she disappeared into the next apartment. I was about to follow her when I felt someone grab my hand. I whirled around to find a lanky guy a little older than me with messy black hair and, of course, violet eyes. He was dressed like he was going to the prom in a black tuxedo and matching pants. He immediately let go of my hand, having gotten my attention.

“Hey, was that Avana just now?” he asked.

I nodded, and he held out a slip of paper to me. “Will you give this to her?”

I blinked and then took it. “Yeah.”

He thanked me and went to the freezer in the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream before disappearing into what I assumed was his bedroom. I hurried out and saw she was waiting for me. Her brow was raised.

“What took you so long?”

“Uh, the guy living there asked me to give you this.”

Avana raised her brows and took the paper from me. She looked over it, and her eyes softened. “I’m glad to hear that,” she whispered, her voice so low I almost didn’t hear it.

She then cleared her throat and tucked the note into her pocket. “Alright, so Benito doesn’t seem to be home right now, so we might have to wait a while.”

“Wait, we’re in Benito’s apartment?” She nodded and then plopped down on the black sofa. I looked around and immediately noticed the walls were lined with rows upon rows of photographs. I gaped at all of the people smiling back at me. “Who are they?”

“Everyone he’s ever predicted the future for.”

I then spotted Amethyst. Her monochromatic look wasn’t hard to miss. In the photo, she looked considerably younger, maybe by ten years or so. In her hand she held up a framed college diploma for an education major. She had a grin stretched from ear to ear. Beside her stood a tall and stocky young man with brown curls and violet eyes (okay, seriously, does everybody here have violet eyes?!). He was in the midst of kissing her on the cheek. This must’ve been that Navin guy she’d told us about.

“He doesn’t look like a poet,” I commented.

Avana smirked. “No kidding. He looks more like a farmer who’s been out in the field all his life.”

“Do you know any of these people?” I asked. “Other than Amethyst?”

She shook her head. She then walked over to a bookshelf. She started skimming over its shelves filled with different Trivia Pursuit games covering every category imaginable. I turned back to the pictures.

One of them caught my eye. I got closer to it to inspect it further.

It was a young woman my age with burnt umber skin and black dreadlocks that had become wild, unruly, and dirty at some point. Her cheeks were gaunt. Her eyes were hardened and belonged to someone much older. And they were brown, a stark contrast to everyone else’s violet eyes. Her body, currently covered by a t-shirt and shorts nearly reduced to rags, was extremely thin. It didn’t look like she was starving, per se, but more like she was close to it. Or maybe that she was recovering from starvation.

I whipped my head toward Avana. She had lived in poverty before she came here. And she was the only one here other than me that was from Earth. That had to explain the brown eyes. I turned back to the picture on the wall, and I was immediately able to pick out identical features between the two. That was Avana, alright.

Why were her eyes brown in this picture but violet now? I paused to think about it. She had lived here for five years. Perhaps spending enough time in this place turned your eyes violet. I frowned. Would my eyes turn violet too?

I turned back to the picture. Her hair had undergone a dramatic change as well. I turned back to Avana and frowned at her curly rainbow mohawk. What had prompted her to change her hairstyle so drastically? And her clothes, for that matter?

Then I remembered what Avana had told me about these pictures: Benito had predicted each of their futures. I turned to Avana. What had he predicted about her future?

“Hey, Avana?” I asked, wondering if she’d tell me if I asked. She looked up from a game she had started to open. “What did Benito predict for you?”

She stiffened, and was it just my imagination, or did her eyes turn brown for a second? She then shook her head. “I’m not on that wall,” she replied.

Avana turned back to setting up the game. I turned back to the picture. She was lying. I was certain of it. But why would she lie about it?

I was about to ask her when a door slammed open and a young man burst into the room. He had an insane blue pompadour that was close to defying physics and violet eyes widened with optimism and wonder like he could see the world under a much brighter lens than the rest of us. He wore a black suit, with an orange turndown collared shirt underneath, with purple cuffs, orange dress pants, a blue cape, black shoes, purple epaulettes (yeah, freakin’ epaulettes), a black bowtie, and, of course, a black top hat with a purple silk band wrapped around it to complete his insane magician image.

He paused for a moment, apparently stuck in a triumphant running pose with his fist thrust up toward the air. Then he swiftly shifted back to a normal pose. He gracefully took off his top hat and bowed before us. “Welcome, ladies!” he boomed in a dramatic voice.

“Uh, hi,” I replied as I raised my hand in greeting, not really sure what to do in the presence of such a wacko.

I widened my eyes as he leaned in close, his widened violet eyes piercing through mine. I half-expected him to suddenly lay one on me. He sure seemed crazy enough to do it.

“Melanie Olivia Mitchell of Earth, eighteen years of age.” He cocked his head after a few seconds of staring at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Benito, give her some space!” Avana exclaimed.

I blinked. Benito? This was the Benito she’d told me about?! The old, wise man?!

Benito immediately straightened and backed away a few steps. He cleared his throat and launched into a tirade of random trivial facts about himself, some normal enough while others completely bizarre, and the whole ordeal came with a bunch of overly dramatic gestures and poses. A few minutes went by, and then he started shouting at the rooftops in some language I didn’t even recognize. I stared at him, his behavior escaping all comprehension.

“Uh…”

Suddenly, his hand exploded into flames. I screamed. Benito only examined his hand calmly, as if their burning touch didn’t affect him in the slightest. The fire flickered between all the colors of the rainbow. I felt Avana stiffen beside me, though I couldn’t understand why. Benito shook his hand once, and the flames quickly disappeared.��

Benito sighed and muttered quietly, “They went out so easily.” He then turned to Avana.“So you’re here to see your future again.”

“Not mine. Melanie’s,” Avana replied, and her voice was laced with bitterness and anger, which made it come close to growling.

Benito cast a disbelieving glance at her before snapping his fingers. He then clutched his hat tightly and spun in a circle. The walls then turned into a shimmery mist. On each wall was a frozen image.

The first was of Avana and me standing before hundreds of monsters lunging toward us. Rainbow flames surrounded the both of us, shielding us from their attack.

In the second, I was hugging both of my parents, both of whom had tears streaming down their cheeks. Both. Both my dad and my mom. It was a sight I just couldn’t fathom. I then noticed that Avana was there too. She hung back several feet behind me, her arms crossed and her gaze focused on the ground.

Unnerved, I turned to the next one. I widened my eyes and covered my mouth in horror as I saw Avana frozen in a scream of agony. Tears streamed down her face, but they were red. Red like blood. Crimson trickled down from a gash in the middle of her forehead, and there was a large puddle of blood at her feet. I stood in front of her, clutching both of her hands and screaming at her while normal tears flooded down my cheeks.

I looked at Avana. She was staring at the last wall, and the color had drained from her face. I slowly turned around, afraid to see what the last image had to offer.

There was an evil-looking woman (obviously the evil empress I was supposed to defeat or whatever) with white hair, the palest skin I had ever seen, and golden eyes. She was dressed all in white and had her hand raised. Dark energy surrounded her enclosed fist. Her brown lips were curled back in a snarl. Above her was Avana. She was flying toward her with Kiburi high overhead. And her rainbow sword was on fire.

From what I’d seen, Avana was going to be the one who defeated this evil empress lady. Why then had she been so convinced that I would end up doing it? I turned to ask her and was startled to find tears welling in her brown (holy shit, brown!) eyes. They flickered and returned back to violet, and Avana blinked away her tears.

“Benito, why do you keep showing this?” she shouted angrily.

“Wait, you’ve seen this before?” I asked.

Benito snapped his fingers, and the images vanished. He put his top hat back on. “The future is fixed. It never changes. It stands firm as a rock. You have told you that many times.”

“Then you’re wrong!” I blinked in surprise, wondering where this one-eighty had sprung from.

Benito’s hand burst into rainbow flames again, but they disappeared just seconds after. He sighed. “You know that isn’t true.”

Avana grabbed my hand, and I cried out as she jerked me behind her as she stormed past Benito. “Come on. We’re leaving.”

I yanked my hand out of hers. “Why are you getting so upset about this?”

After all, the whole reason we’d come here was to listen to Benito. And now that we had, Avana was acting really weird, and I just couldn’t understand it. Then Benito said something that threw me for a loop and stunned me into silence.

“It’s because she doesn’t want to believe that she is the chosen one.”

#short story #fantasy #new world #chosen one #destiny

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ushijimawakaflockaflame-blog · 7 years

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hi! can I ask for midorin where a cute, bubbly, & super energetic kouhai has a huge crush on him & is very determined to get his attention? and he's very reluctant, awkward and doesn't know what to do w/ her (although he finds her really cute too), but her personality is just too overwhelming for his rather reserved one, plus he thinks it too weird that he's the one feeling shy when he's the guy, so one day he finally musters up the courage and takes charge. Thank you ^^

AN: oh wow this is long over due I am so sorry. Also, this was really hard to write! I made this a coffee shop!au to make the scenario flow a little easier. I’m sorry it’s so short I really couldn’t think of anything ; ~ ;

The summer time was always quite boring in the East side of Tokyo. No matter how many customers you received in the day, none of them could relieve you of your boredom.

Only your favorite customer could.

“Good morning, Midorima-kun! Just in time,” you exclaimed, tapping his order into the system.

You didn’t miss Midorima’s sigh as he approached the counter. “How many times do I have to tell you to call me senpai?”

“You’re such a second-year. Senpai this, senpai that. Besides, calling you senpai isn’t as cute,” you winked.

“I-I would appreciate if you’d quit calling me cute!”

No matter how many times Midorima heard you laugh, he just hated the way it made him blush every single time.

“But you are!” you said after you finished giggling.

“J-Just give me my order.”

“Coming right up, Midorima-kuuuun ~!”

Midorima was a simple man. He liked his coffee black, but always ordered a large, making you wonder what his normal day was like outside of the cafe. Even when school was in session, his coffee was always black and strong. You even brought him some before class started to save him the trouble at the vending machines.

Your crush on Midorima was no secret. You made it very apparent that you liked him. Not only did you give him his favorite coffee almost every morning, you also left notes in his locker, made sure to pass by his classroom to say hi every day, and even showed him your lucky charm of the day.

You were a Virgo, so the stars had destinied that you two were compatible before you both were even born.

“Order up for a cute green haired basketball player ~” you chimed.

“Be quiet will you!? Someone might hear you!” You simply loved how the blush on his cheeks contrasted his hair.

“Who will, all two customers in this cafe?” you teased.

“E-Even so….!” he sighed. You scribbled his name on the cup the same way every day, with lots of hearts, and stars, and today was no different. “Why must you be so persistent?”

“Because you never told me to stop bothering you.”

“I never told you to do so in the first place!”

“You coming in every morning says otherwise.”

The first morning Midorima came into your cafe, you thought you were dreaming. The second day you thought you were having one of those feverish visions. The fifth day and on, you figured it wasn’t coincidental. Maybe after all your days bugging him, you’d finally piqued his interest.

Midorima couldn’t look you in the eye after you said that. He wasn’t sure why he came in every morning…. It just happened. And every time he tried to stop thinking of you, he only thought of you even more.

“So will you go on a date with me, or what?” he mumbled.

“H-Huh?”

“I’m asking you on a date. Maybe you’ll stop being so persistent.”

“I never thought I would see the day ~” you beamed. “You should already know my answer.”

“Just say yes!” he blushed.

“Of course I’ll go,” you giggled. “I could never say no to you.”

#sIGGGHHHH #BIG SIGH #midorima #midorima shintarou #knb #knb scenarios #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basket scenarios #kuroko no basuke #kuroko no basuke scenarios

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ahahahahaderp · 7 years

Text

HataJitsu & KamiMiyo Toku Headcanons ✩꒳✩

(￣ω￣)that no one asked for but I can’t stop thinking about it okkkk 💦💦💦💦

can you taste my undying thirst and bias for kamimiyo because I am shameless (￣ω￣;) no actually, I’m Mimi

Aaaaaand tokusatsu or 特撮 for those who don’t know are J-dramas and/or films that use lots of special effects ^o^ Godzilla, Garo, Kamen Rider, Super Sentai, Ultraman etc. are just some examples~!

I just think that Kaminaga and Hatano would like really be into tokusatsu series and would debate which ones are better, best suits, fight scenes, etc etc and Miyoshi and Jitsui would just be forced to put up with their embarrassing boyfriends... but low-key enjoying it too wwwwwwww

...

and yes, Kaminaga and Hatano would totally do the poses when they go to exhibitions and fanboy so hard at the great details!! (honestly, same tho >w<)

Also thanks @dollofdeath for indulging me (*´ω｀)o ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

HataJitsu

Jitsui openly likes Toku too (to a certain degree) and will watch it with Hatano kinda often

It's cute because Hatano gets all excited and Jitsui is just LOL, finding him sooo cute and precious

Hatano naturally hates being teased and called a kid, but Jitsui can’t help but tease him more for being such an adorable fanboy (*ﾉωﾉ)ｷｬｰ like okk Hatano, ILY but you ARE a kid sometimes and it’s so freaking cute

Not to mention how pure some of these shows are omfg and the fact that some of the catch phrases are so cheesy and Hatano enjoys them so much and get so into it, makes Jitsui wanna bully protect him more

Because the real hero isn’t the next rider or super sentai, but the stupid boyfriend beside him（˶′◡‵˶）

Though, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows with these heroes and Jitsui does find himself honestly liking the intriguing plot lines that can surprisingly be deep and insightful

Jitsui looks forward to Hatano’s reactions but really, it’s vice-versa because a lot of the time Hatano’s already seen these episodes but he just wants Jitsui to enjoy it too

But then they just keep sneaking glances at each other’s reaction instead of watching wwww

Plus Hatano gets really hyped during the fight scenes and is just always in awe and Jitsui’s starting to wonder like ohhh is this why Hatano took all these martial arts classes (つ∀<●)ﾟ💦 💦 💦

Hatano sometimes thinks that he could totally be one of the suit actors if not for his height and kinda gets really down about it but Jitsui would just be like “I don’t suppose I’d need special effects to draw fear into people when it’s all natural, so why would you need special effects to suit up and be my hero?” (>////////////<)

Hatano passed out from a fever that night and Jitsui couldn’t take Hatano being everyone’s hero when he should just be his (✿´ ꒳ ` )

But when they do watch the new episodes together, as much as Jitsui does admit to liking it, they don’t hold a candle to Hatano’s reactions at the suits and everything

Jitsui enjoys Hatano’s stupid smile and overblown excitement the most because Hatano seems low-key troubled sometimes and doesn’t say much because he’s unsure really of why he’s feeling dubious, but when he watches toku, he like forgets all that so secretly, Jitsui loves his addiction so much

And Hatano somehow got Jitsui to start drawing toku art and is just MY BOYFRIEND IS SO AMAZING, HE SCARES ME (wait..he always does)

Random but I think Jitsui would probably enjoy KR Amazons the most and would lol during horror films and Hatano is just......I'm glad he likes me...I think. (￣ω￣;)

KamiMiyo

Of course, Kaminaga has to drag (and beg and whine for) Miyo to actually consider watching Toku shows and once they start watching, it’s normal for them to marathon shows and de-stress with each other since Miyo wants to see what’s gotten Kaminaga so excited lately and because he’s so cuteeee (*´∀`*)えへへ

Miyo thinks that the shows aren’t half bad and is at the very least intrigued by the whole idea of it, and also because Kaminaga is so pure and adorable for watching these kind of bubbly shows, it’s almost funny? Even when they’re not always bubbly and kinda deep. He just likes seeing Kaminaga be really happy *:･(*/////∇/////*)･:*:･

Plus, the chance to tease Kaminaga will never not be amazing wwwww

but Miyo low-key thinking omg the detail on these suits are so amazing and the choreograph is just so grea---I mean...it's passable, naturally. That's why it has a following and all and what no, Kaminaga...I’m just taking this photo for ref ok...? 💦 💦 💦

and yes of course they go to Kamen Rider the Diner and Miyoshi just...why am I here...like sure, Miyo’s a foodie and all but novelty food almost always tastes the same.

Though, that’s where Kaminaga comes in and says something about how the details they put into creating these silly aesthetics for the food based on quirks from the show makes it really fun to eat! Not to mention that a lot of those times were when he was watching toku with Miyo and that makes all the difference---it’s definitely not as enjoyable if he’s not with Miyo because somehow Miyo makes Toku even better and he just treasures Toku more because of that and I’m cry (´；ω；`)

and god, Kaminaga can you not stare at Miyo like tht because he’s trying to eat here without swooning （*/∇＼*）

Miyo’s just.......I am not getting flustered over some below average novelty food because of you (≧ヘ≦　) he totally is though wwwwww

and it makes it even worse because Kaminaga’s charms always has that effect on Miyo and Miyo is just...stop taking pictures and eat your weeb food

But also LOL Kaminaga is such a dumb dork and getting excited over the cafe merch or interior and how it reminds him of this and that scene and Miyoshi just can’t help but wanna treasure this stupid pure sunshine even more >w<

Ohhh and and and Kaminaga totally fanboying about toku with these total strangers and Miyo just totally can’t stand it and just cosplays as Kaminaga’s fave to get his attention

though kaminaga is totally flustered at this, he won’t hug Miyo and barely even kiss him because the details of his suit are so amazing and Miyoshi’s just I hate that you’re so cute （˶′◡‵˶） but seriously, look at me b*tch

Though, what if instead Miyo was like a closet tokusatsu fan because he thinks liking something so childish totally contrasts with his ummm supposedly "cool" image but then again he's dating Kaminaga lololol and he finds the heroes pretty cool lolololl idk (I;m same miyoshi saaaaame) (∩ﾟ∀｀∩)ｷｬ―!!!!

Kaminaga finding out and at first like LOLOLOLOLOL I can't believe I've known you for this long and you managed to keep it from me; that is so cute (and super happy that he’s the only one who knows about Miyo’s addiction) TwT

Kaminaga's not an avid fan but he does enjoy it time to time from the stuff he's seen and finds it pretty cool and Miyo totally getting excited talking about toku and Kaminaga's like dying because that is freaking cuteeeee

Miyo secretly collects the figures LOL and keeps them hidden even away from Kaminaga ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

Also okkk so when Jitsui goes to a doujin event to sell his manga or doujins perhaps, of course, the others come to support him!

Naturally Hatano is there and lol probably buys manga and doujins, artbooks, merch (I feel like he'd be into manga and stuff a lot, but not crazy but does enjoy it)

Miyoshi comes too, of course, but can't find Kaminaga anywhere is just ...sort of lonely but you know, he's here to support Jitsui and make fun of Hatano and w o w that is some intense cosplay right there huhhh is that his fave rider in a get up that looks almost identical to the exact same suit made for the show and omg his belt is so unreal and every detail makes him feel like this is some crazy dream because this cosplayer is practically oozing this unrivaled charisma and charm ≧(´▽｀)≦

and it’s probably his unhindered narcissism, but he can’t help but feel that this cosplayer is looking at him (though, low-key freaking out because oh no, can all toku fans tell who other toku fans are because he is sooo sCREWED)

miyo's like almost sweating but gosh there's so many ppl and thank you god if you're out there because Miyoshi always has his favourite handkerchief to look extra pristine and wipe away non-existent sweat, of course (Gods don’t sweat) (ノ*゜▽゜*)

and ugh where are you Kaminaga because Kaminaga needs to see this too

and and Miyo wants to... scold him as well for being this late and not answering all his messages

Secretly, however, Miyo won’t mind if Kaminaga makes fun of him but naturally Kaminaga won't...much because Kaminaga thinks Miyo low-key fanboying is just as cute as affectionate drunk miyo ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

The people are still crowding around this amazing cosplayer but now that Miyo’s kinda close, he can totally sneak a pic while no one's looking at him because oh god no one can find out (even if Kaminaga did yikes, but it’s ok because it’s Kaminaga)

For once, he feels nearly unworthy to be near this cosplayer that is somehow a person and why isn't Kaminaga answering his phone

Nvm Kaminaga finally picked up and---huhhhhh why does the cosplayer have Kaminaga's phone and is...w-waving? at him no less?

Once the helmet comes off, Miyo can barely even register that it’s Kaminaga and is totally blushing because it’s so freaking hot (actually, Miyo, there’s quite a bit of AC buuut) and Kaminaga is so freaking hot and no, he doesn’t mean just because of the material of the cosplay

Finally when Miyo gets close enough, he’s too flustered to say much and Kaminaga’s just adoring the cuteness exuding Miyo right now

for the first time, Miyoshi’s really feeling insanely shy right now and he’s known Kaminaga for practically forever and Miyo even has the gall to timidly ask if he can touch his suit because it’s so amazing

Of course, Kaminaga isn’t so foolish as to not tease Miyo at this when Miyo softly grazes the suit and is still in complete awe at the precision and detail because yes, Kaminaga has always been amazingly skilled and Miyo is so so lucky to have this man as his boyfriend ｡(〃ω〃)ﾟ.+:｡♪

Miyo doesn’t even realize how shy he’s become and is just cautiously raising his phone and is starts murmuring almost

“So...is it ok if we take a selfie together.........” like he’s now Kaminaga’s fanboy and Kaminaga is so startled and is also blushing frantically (because of the “heat” righttt boyyyys 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀)

but Kaminaga’s just kisses him instead and is just “A kiss is a much more meaningful memorabilia, isn’t it?” and even winks for added measure and gosh, Miyo knows his little handkerchief can’t save him now from looking like a total tomato (because oh yes, the heat is oh so vindictive of him)

“If it’s only for me, I suppose it is.”

THE END wooo fuwa fuwa fluffssssss

Welp...that was way longer than I intended (((0へ0)💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦 cries I kinda wanna write that as a fanfic but idkkkk heehee I just think the whole cliche scenario works for them and is totally adorable TwT If anyone actually read this til the end, thank you for putting up with my eternally thirsty Kamimiyo rambles (〃 ω 〃) and have a very lovely day and evening because you deserve both, even if you can only have one or the other (￣ω￣)

#joker game #kamimiyo #hatajitsu #lots of Kamimiyo rambles #I should be sorry #but I'm really not wwwwwwww #If last year I was one foot into toku hell #now I'm definitely completely in toku hell 5ever hngsss #and Kamimiyo hell too bubkjbjkbkjb

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sociopathic-killer · 7 years

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Dylan Klebold’s journal.

Ah yes, this is me writing . . . just writing, nobody technically did anything, just I felt like throwing out my thoughts — this is a weird time, weird life, weird existence. As I sit here (partially drunk with a screwdriver) I think a lot. Think .. . think . . . that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking . . . all the time . . . my mind never stops . . . music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking . . . about the asshole in gym class, how he worries me, about driving, & my family, about friends & doings with them, about girls I know (mainly & ) how I know I can never have them, yet I can still dream . .. I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads1 on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people ( ) at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally. My existence is shit to me — how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake — artificial, induced [?] by thought, how everything connects, yet its all so far apart.... & I sit & think ... science is the way to find solutions to everything, right? I still think that, yet I see different views of shit now — like the mind — yet if the mind is viewed scientifically . .. hmm I dwell in the past . .. thinking of good & bad memories A lot on the past though . . . I’ve always had a thing for the past — how it reacts to the present & the future — or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when I got so fucked up w my mind, existence, problem — when Dylan Benet2 Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body ... as I see the people at school — some good, some bad — I see how different I am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet I’m on such a greater scale of difference than everyone else (as far as I know, or guess). I see jocks having fun, friends, women, LIVEZ. Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses — I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge too [?]. I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life ... that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe — my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me — my soul (existence). & the routine is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, hoping that people can accept me ... that I can accept them ... the NIN song Piggy is good for thought writing ... The Lost Highway3 sounds like a movie about me . .. I’m gonna write later, bye

Yo . . . whassup . . . heheheheh . . . know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear — like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me ... Check it ... (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here. .. . Within the known limits of time . . . within the conceived boundaries of space . . . the average human thinks those are the settings of existence . . . yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions,” says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions — L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought — Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists — anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another .. . a dream. Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 [degrees] to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then. .. . BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life. Hypnosis place — It is a sky — with one large cloud, & sort of a cloud-made chair — the sun is at the head of the chair .. . 10 o’clock up into the sky .. . Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth — sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair — actually like a chaise — & I am talking . . . to what? I don’t know — it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t . . . & we talk like we are the same person — like he’s my soul... . The everlasting contrast.... Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win. HA fuckin morons. If people looked at History, they would see what happens. I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy. Another contrast, more of a paradox, actually, like the advanced go for the undevelopeds realm, while some of the morons become everything dwellers — but exceptions to every rule, & this is a BIG exception — most morons never change, they never decide to live in the ‘everything’ frame of mind!

It is not good for me right now (like it ever is) . . . but anyway . . . My best friend6 ever: the friend who shared, experimented, laughed, took chances with & appreciated me more than any friend ever did has been ordained ... “passed on” ... in my book. Ever since 7 (who I wouldn’t mind killing) has loved him ... that’s the only place he’s been with her ... if anyone had any idea how sad I am ... I mean we were the TEAM. When him & I first were friends, well I finally found someone who was like me: who appreciated me & shared very common interests. Ever since 7th grade, I’ve felt lonely ... when came around, I finally felt happiness (sometimes) we did cigars, drinking, sabotage to houses, EVERYTHING for the first time together & now that he’s “moved on” I feel so lonely, without a friend. Oh well, maybe he’ll come around → ... I hope. That’s all — for this topic — maybe I’ll never see this again.8 ô = — — = ô <<–VoDKA–>> My 1st Love???? OH my God ... I am almost sure I am in love ... with .9 Hehehe ... such a strange name, like mine ... yet everything about her I love. From her good body to her almost perfect face, her charm, her wit & cunning, her NOT being popular. Her friends (who I know) — some — I just hope she likes me as much as I LOVE her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me & her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face, I love her. If [crossed out] soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found mine. I hope she likes Techno ... :-) , I love you — Dylan

My thoughts Oooh god I want to die sooo bad .. . such a sad desolate lonely unsalvageable I feel I am .. . not fair, NOT FAIR!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it ... Let’s sum up my life ... the most miserable existence in the history of time . . . my best friend has ditched me forever, lost in bettering himself & having/enjoying/taking for granted his love. . . . I’ve NEVER knew this ... not 100 times near this ... they look at me like I’m a stranger ... I helped them both out thru life, & they left me in the abyss of suffering when I gave them the [?] The one who I thought was my true love, is not. Just a shell of what I want the most ... the meanest trick was played on me a fake love ... she in reality doesn’t give a good fuck about me . . . doesn’t even know me . . . I have no happiness, no ambitions, no friends, & no LOVE!!! can get me that gun I hope, I wanna use it on a poor SOB. I know ... his name is vodka, dylan is his name too. What else can I do/give ... I stopped the pornography. I try not to pick on people. Obviously at least one power is against me. . . . funny how I’ve been thinking about her over the last few days . . . giving myself fake realities that she, others MIGHT have liked me, just a bit . . . my [bad?] I have always been hated, by everyone & everything, just never aware. . . . Goodbye all the crushes I’ve ever had, just shells . . . images, no truths ... BUT WHY? YES, you can read this, why did [illegible words]. [next to a small picture:] A dark time, infinite sadness, I want to find love

Ignorance is bliss happiness is ambition desolation is knowledge pain is acceptance despair is anger denial is helpless martyrism is hope for others advantages taken are causes of martyrism revenge is sorrow death is a reprieve life is a punishment others’ achievements are tormentations people are alike I am different — Dylan [next to the above:] Goodbye, sorry to everyone . . . I just can’t take it . . . all the thoughts . . . too many . .. make my head twist ... I must have happiness, love, peace. Goodbye me is a god, a god of sadness exiled to this eternal hell the people I helped, abandon me I am denied what I want, To love & to be happy Being made a human Without the possibility of BEING human The cruelest of all punishments To some I am crazy It is so clear, yet so foggy Everything’s connected, separated I am the only interpreter of this Id rather have nothing than be nothing Some say godliness isn’t nothing Humanity is the something I long for I just want something I can never have The story of my existence. — Dylan

Me. sorry I didn’t write, A SHITLOAD in my existence ride. ok . . . hell & back . . . I’ve been to the zombie bliss side. . . . & I hate it as much if not more than the awareness part. I’m back now.... a taste of what I thought I want ... wrong. Possible girlfriends are coming then I’ll give the phony shit up in a second want TRUE love ... I just want something I can never have.... True true I hate everything, why can’t I die ... not fair. I want pure bliss ... to be cuddling with , who I think I love deeper than ever . . . I was hollow, thought I was right. Another form of the Downward Spiral10 . . . deeper & deeper it goes, to cuddle with her, to be one w her, to love, just laying there. I need a girl. This is a weird entry ... I should feel happy, but shit brought me down. I feel terrible. The Lost Highway apparently repeats . . . itself. I won’t drink. Now, lucky bastard gets a perfect soulmate, who he can admit FUCKIN SUICIDE to & I get rejected for being honest about fuckin hate for jocks. From the wrong people maybe ... & Anyway .. . here are 2 poems. Fuck me die me Awareness signs the warrant for suffering. Why is it that the zombies achieve something me wants (overdeveloped me). They can love, why can’t I? The true existor lives in solitude, always aware, always infinite, always looking for, his love. Peace might be the ultimate destination . . . destination unknown. . . . I want happiness . . . abandonment is present for the martyr. My thoughts exist in, want to live in. I want to find a room in the great hall & stay there w my love forever. Sadness seems infinite, & the shell of happiness shines around. Yet the true despair overcomes in this lifetime. How tragic for my [?] dumass shithead I HATE SHIT motherfuckin goddamn piece of death thought and nothin FUCK FUCK FUCK No emotions, not caring, yet another stage in this shit life. Suicide .. . Dylan Klebold

Thoughts Farther and farther distant . . . That’s what’s happening . . . me & everything that zombies consider real . . . just images, not life. Soon I will be at peace I hope . . . Burn → “with all your life fucked up around you” I get more depressed with each day . . . more Evil. . . . & I can’t ever stop it!!! [illegible scribble] Some god I am.... All people I ever might have loved have abandoned me, my parents piss me off & hate me . . . want me to have fuckin ambition!! How can I when I get screwed & destroyed by everything??!!! I have no money, no happiness, no friends ... Eric will be getting further away soon.... I’ll have less than nothing ... how normal. I wanted to love ... I wanted to be happy and ambitions and free & nice & good & ignorant.... everyone abandoned me ... I have small stupid pleasures ... my so called hobbies & doings ... those are all that’s left for me ... clinging onto the smallest rocks ... many people climbing up a never ending vertical cliff. . . . & found a plateau to exist on. . .they walked up me to get to it. Nobody will help me . . . only exist with me if it suits them. I helped, why can’t they? will get me a gun, I’ll go on my killing spree11 against anyone I want. More crazy . . . deeper in the spiral, lost highway repeating, dwelling on the beautiful past ( & getting drunk) with me, everyone moves up, I always stayed. Abandonment. This room sucks wanna die everything is as least expected. The meek are trampled on, the assholes prevail, the gods are deceiving, lost in my little insane asylum with the outhouse [?] redneck music playing. . . . wanna die & be free with my love . . . if she even exists. She probably hates me . . . finds a [?] or a jock who treats her like shit. I remember details . . . nothing worth remembering I remember. I don’t know my love: could be , or or , or , or anyone. I don’t know & I’m sick of not knowing!! To be kept in the dark is a punishment!! I have lost my emotions ... like in Hurt the song. NIN.12 people eventually find happiness I never will. Does that make me a non-human? YES. The god of sadness.... church was so fun ... the rec thing with

Beeerr ... Man I don’t know what’s up lately ... never do in existence. All this shit with & friends ... so weird & different from past.... yet again, that’s the way in existence. I wonder if I’ll ever have a love . . . my love. got his, I don’t, won’t ever get mine. Here’s all the people I’ve loved, or at least liked (or thought I loved) — all the same meaning

is the newest ... the purest (for now) ... seems perfect for me ... I seem perfect for her. I was delusional and thought she waved at me the last day of school. Oh well ... my emotions are gone. So much past pain at once, my senses are numbed. The beauty of being numb.

Existence . .. to understand Well well . . . so much changes . . . (like existence). I understand almost everything now . . . so close to my love — . The runes have shown it, she has shown it, I have felt it. I know the meaning of each life: to be loved by your love, & to be happy with ones self. Only for the gods though (me, , etc.). the zombies & their society band together & try to destroy what is superior13 (what they don’t understand & are afraid of. Soon.... either I’ll commit suicide, or I’ll get with & it will be NBK14 for us. My happiness. Her happiness. NOTHING else matters. I’ve been caught with most of my crimes — xpl [for example] drinking, smoking & the house vandalism, & the pipe bombs. If, by fate’s choice, didn’t love me, I’d slit my wrist & blow up Atlanta15 strapped to my neck. It’s good, understanding a hard road since my realization, but it gets easier. BUT IT DOESN’T! that’s part of existence. Unpredictable. Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. I will never stop wondering. The lost highway will never end, the music in my head will never stop ... total [?] part of existence. The hall will never end. The love will always be there. GOD I LOVE HER!!! It’s so great to love. Society is tightening its grip on me, & soon I & will snap. We will have our revenge on society, & then be free, to exist in a timeless spaceless place of pure happiness. The purpose of life is to be happy & be with your love who is equally happy. Not much more to say. Goodbye. Almost happiness is slavery — the real people (gods) are slaves to the majority of zombies, but we know & love being superior. I didn’t want to be a jock. I hated the happiness that they have — & I will have something infinitely better. I love her & she loves me. (By the way, some zombies are smarter than others, some manipulate .. . like my parents.) I am GOD, is GOD the zombies will pay for their arrogance, hate, fear, abandoned, & distrust

I love you that’s all I think about anymore ... I know that this humanity is almost over, that we will be free. We have proven to fate that we are the everything of purity & halcyon, & that we deserve, need, love, can’t exist without each other. It’s hard, I think that I might not be enough, my mind sometimes gets stuck on its own things, I think about human things — all I try to do is imagine the happiness between us. That is something we cannot even conceive in this toilet earth. The everything, the halcyon, the happiness is ours, there will be no notes from me. Let the humans suffer without my knowledge of the everything. I am trying not to think about the happiness, somehow thinking that 16 will destroy it if I conceive/relish in it when I’m a human, but I love her. We are soulmates.

You don’t consciously know who I am (please don’t skip to the back: read the note as it was written), & doubtedly unconsciously too. I, who write this, love you beyond infinince. I think about you all the time, how this world would be a better place if you loved me as I do you. I know what you’re thinking: “(some psycho wrote me this harassing letter)” I hoped we could have been together ... you seem a bit like me. Pensive, quiet, an observer, not wanting what is offered here (school, life, etc.) you almost seem lonely, like me. You probably have a boyfriend though, & might not have given this note another thought. I have thought you my true love for a long time now, but . . . well . . . there was hesitation. You see I can’t tell if you think of anyone as I do you, & if you did who that would be. Fate put me in need of you, yet this earth blocked that with uncertainties. I will go away soon, but I just had to write this to you, the one I truly loved. Please, for my sake, don’t tell anybody about this, as it was only meant for you. Also, please don’t feel any guilt about my soon-to-be “absence” of this world (it is solely my decision: no one else’s) oh ... the thoughts of us ... doing everything together, not necessarily anything, just to be together would have been pure heaven. I guess it’s time to tell you who I am. I was in a class with you 1st semester, & was blessed with being with you in a report. I still remember your laugh. Innocent, beautiful, pure. This semester I still see you — rarely. I am entranced during 5th period, as we both have it off. To most people, I appear . . . well . . . almost scary, but that’s who I appear to be as people are afraid of what they don’t understand. I denied who I was for a long time. Until high school.... anyway, you have noticed me a few times, I catch every one of these gazes with an open heart. I think you know who I am by now. Unfortunately ... even if you did like me even the slightest bit, you would hate me if you knew who I was. I am a criminal. I have done things that almost nobody would even think about condoning. The reason that I’m writing you now is that I have been caught for the crimes I committed, & I want to go to a new existence. You know what I mean (suicide). I have nothing to live for, & I wont be able to survive in this world after this legal conviction. However, if it was true that you loved me as I do you ... I would find a way to survive. Anything to be with you. I would enjoy life knowing that you loved me. 99/100 chances you probably think I’m crazy, & want to stay as far away as possible. If that’s the case, then I’m very sorry for involving an innocent person in my problems, & please don’t think twice. However, if you are who I hoped for in my dreams & realities, then do me a favor: leave a piece of paper in my locker saying anything that comes to you. Well, I guess this is it — goodbye, & I love(d) you. Dylan Klebold

I LOVE !! I love her to infinince. I look back on my awareness journey, see the parts & sections of my understanding . . . it’s almost done, yet it is never done, I love . She is my soulmate, my [?] all the imaginative halcyons & pure existences I have with her (to me) are almost happiness ... I just wish I could call her...something blocks me from calling her, my human side is putting up a wall to prevent me from calling her, like a fear of “its” truth. BS. I will overcome all fears, doubts, & zombie-based thoughts (oxymoron) . . . I will follow our hearts to the halcyon, loving her. I love you

Forever fate, up & down spiral 1.5 human years . . . so much changed in small time, my friends (at my choice) are depleting & collapsing under each other (Eric & ) like I thought they would, I am ready to be with . The ups & downs of fate are forever, good & bad, equal me. The lost highway, & downward spiral never end. Existence is like infinity times itself. ∞∞ [symbolizes infinity to the power of infinity] I have passed thru this much of the ever existence, this is almost a checkpoint. The zombies have set their [place? plane?] in my mind for the cliff theory I’ve [?] off with & we’ve floated away to the halcyon. The zombies will pay for their being, their nature. I know everything, yet I know nothing. I am a true god. My infinite memories, thoughts, perceivations of purity come a lot more with her, there is pure pure happiness — the purpose of our existence. I hate, love things, hate everything, love me & . I understand that I can never ever be a zombie, even if I wanted to. The nature of my entity. Soon we will live in the halcyons of our minds, the one thing that made me a god. Things are so simple, now that they are infinitely complicated. HAHAHAHA.

I understand whatever of everything. I am the god of the everything. Fate is my only master. This is probably my last entry. I love my self close second to my everlasting love. Goodbye. I will never stop learning Dylan Klebold

This shit again. Back at writing, doing just like a fucking zombie. Lately I can’t change my mind from the fucking deeds of zombies. Earth, humanity, HERE. That’s mostly what I think about. I hate it. I want to be free . . . free . . . I thought it would have been time by now. The pain multiplies infinitely never stops Yet [?] I’m here, STILL alone, still in pain, so is she. The thing I have concluded is that fate will decide when we should be together. decided when our existence started, it should end the same way, with us unknowing, in limbo. I love you . Always have, will. The scenarios, images, pieces of happiness still come. they always will. I love her she loves me. I know she is tired of suffering as I am. It is time. It is time. I love her the journey, the endless journey started, it has to end. We need to be happy to exist truly. I see her in perfection, the halcyons. I await endless purity. I exist as less than nothing without her. –O. my humanity, –O. I don’t know if I should call her, or wait for to act. Yet, calling her is a state of humanity. I’m forever sorry, infinitely, about the pornos. My humanity has a foot fetish & bondage extreme liking. I try to thwart it sometimes to no effect. Yet the masturbation has stopped. I’m sorry . Always I feel the [?] happiness here, thinking of her for brief moments. That’s how I know the everything is true.

I hate this non-thinking stasis. I’m stuck in humanity. Maybe going “NBK” (gawd) with Eric is the way to break free. I hate this.

The weather is a replication of our thoughts. The happiness is possible, imminent, I [?] on . The happiness is close visible ending, end of the beginning of the halcyons. The humanity is blocking me again. Time to go. HAHAHAHA fuck all. Hate this shit, need to be me, [?], love her. The framework of society stands above & below me. The hardest thing to destroy, yet the weakest thing that exists. I know that I am different, yet I am afraid to tell the society. The possible abandonment, persecution is not something I want to face, yet it is so primitive to me. I guess being yourself means letting people know about inner thoughts too, not just opinions & fashions [illegible word in parentheses] I will be free one day, in the land of purity & my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. someday ... possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen . .. Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of oneself. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As I look for love, I feel I can’t find it. Ever. But something tells me I will, someday. Somewhere. As my love will find me, she feels as I do right now, I can feel it, we will be inseparable. Her & I. Whether it is or not, I think I’ll find it (my love). We will be free, to explore the vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of pure happiness .. . no limits .. . no limits. Nothing will stop us.

► Separate document:

The humanity of here & now clouds all that I see. Yet the me, the one, can now control the pain, & it is done. 5 more days. 5 . . . . . . a very influential number, another brick in my journeyed wall. Humans are zombies, they scratch for acceptance & greed & kill themselves thru each other. They will never learn, or maybe they will, but wont have the strength to learn to be aware is not a trait, it’s a godlike thing. Blessed God, not a Christian, Jesus, Mt. Sinai, Abraham, David, Bible gay shit god, but a true controller of existence. was to make us this way. These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever, like, tears, in, rain, but the thoughts will be eternal. To explain the happiness is impossible even for fate. It’s just a pure halcyon set to last more existences than a conceivable number. Stupid gay nigger humans think I’m “crazy.” Or they think I’m childish. Hahaha, because I can’t solve [math equation]. That makes me dumb! Because I can’t stay thinking in a 2nd dimension, I go to the 5th!17 Haha. So I wait 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 eternities, & I know her & I are all conceived from ourselves & each other, every night of the self-awareness journey, every thought we conceived, we have finished the race. Time to die. Everything we knew we were able to understand it, to perceive it, into what we should. Everything we knew, we know & use. An understanding of the everything. An Einstein stuck in an ant’s body. We are the nature of existence. The zombies were a test, to see if our love was genuine. We are in wait of our reward, each other. The zombies will never cause us pain anymore. The humanity was a test. I love you, love. Time to die, time to be free, time to love. 1. One day, one is the beginning, [?] the end. Hahaha. Reversed, yet true. About 26.5 hours from now the judgment will begin. Difficult, but not impossible, necessary, nerve-wracking & fun. What fun is life without a little death? It’s interesting, when I’m in my human form, knowing I’m going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it. Like how none of this calculus shit matters. The way it shouldn’t. the truth. In 26.4 hours, I’ll be dead, & in happiness. The little zombie human fags will know their errors, & be forever suffering and mournful. HAHAHAH, of course I will miss things. Not really.

His Will:

Ok, this is my will. This is a fucking human thing to do, but whatever. — you were a badass, never failed to get me up when I was down. Thx. You get FUCKT

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laurensisalinamonroll-blog · 7 years

Text

Tall, Dark and Handsome

Words:2172

This is my first X Reader for the Hamilton fandom, I hope you enjoy!- Grace

Modern and Soulmate AU. For the sake of the plot, Reader lives in the U.K.

"You can hear your Soulmates's thoughts, and they can hear your own. You have the ability to 'tune' them out. Although, any attempt to find one another before fate has planned, will ultimately fail. That would include asking each other's location and so on."

Everyone first hears their soulmate at a different age. I first heard mine when I was 14. I was in the midst of an English literature exam. I remember looking at my paper frustrated, my pen tapping rhythmically against my forehead. 'Provide a short statement using the Rule Of Three'. I couldn't remember what it was, never-mind give an example.

I let out a growl in vexation, which prompted Mr. Johnston to narrow his eyes and glare in my direction. I quickly looked away. 'Think (Y/N), think! Rule of three, think of an example for the rule of three. I mean, it has something to do with 3...'

"Tall, dark and handsome," a voice said. I looked at the classmate who had sat beside me- then at everyone else in my vicinity. My eyes were wide with confusion, that voice had sounded eerily close. Then my jaw went slack in realisation. "Tall, dark and handsome," the voice had repeated, "while they are three words that perfectly describe me, it's also an example of the Rule Of Three."

That was five years ago. I'm now 19, and in my first year of university. Since that day, I speak to my soulmate everyday. He turned out to be a 17 year old (now 22) boy who lived in the Caribbean. His name was Alexander, and after two years of us speaking, he moved to the U.S. That didn't make much difference to me, as I lived in the U.K. Although, as of four months ago, I moved to America.

I had gotten a full Scholarship to NYU to study modern languages. When I had first tried to tell Alexander that I was now living in New York, it was almost like a phone line cut off. It just went silent and at first I thought he had left me. Soon after, however, he said my name and it was like the connection was fixed once more. This had only happened once before, when we tried to tell each other our last names. Fate had intervened.

Now I'm leading a normal life as a student. I share a two bedroom apartment with my flat mate, Mia. She also goes to NYU, but she's studying law and is in her second year of University. She had contacted me via the university, looking for a new roommate. I accepted it immediately, she had lived in New York most her life and I was new to town- I'd need her.

Mia and I quickly grew close, and eventually became best friends. At the minute she's looking through the middle draw of the cabinet- the menu drawer. It was dubbed the name 'Menu Drawer' a few weeks after my arrival, as all take-out menus were shoved in there and forgotten until Friday evenings. "We had a Chinese last week, so how about pizza?" Mia spoke up, stopping my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes as I broke out into a grin. It was her turn to pick, which meant pizza. I'm surprised she isn't sick of it at this point. "Go for it, not too many toppings though." I replied. With her chosen menu in her right hand and her phone in the other, she furrowed her eyebrows at me, "Why not?". I stood up from my place on the sofa and strutted to the middle of the room. I then continued to run my hands down my sides while wiggling my hips. "Because, I need to maintain this figure." I said, then proceeded to burst out into a fit of giggles. "Just messing, add as many as you like." Mia laughed along with me, blond hair bouncing at her shoulders.

I sighed and walked out of the main room, and headed down the hall to my bedroom. Mid-terms would be in a few weeks, and I really needed to revise. My Spanish is flawless, if i do say so myself. As is my German, but my French... my French is horrendous. I am going to fail French. "Aw, ma petite fleur. Qu'est-ce que tu as?"

"Alexander, I didn't know you spoke French, and like I said, I'm going to fail."

"I'm fluent, actually. And I'm sure you'll do fine, (Y/N). You're a smart girl."

"Says you, who finished college early and can speak French fluently."

"Yes but that's myself, you are dif- You said college."

"Uh, yeah?"

"You're British, they don't typically say College."

"Oh, I guess you're right"

"I'm always correct. Although, tell me, are you in America?"

"Yes! I tried to tell you that before but then w-"

"Hey, Pizza is here!" Mia called from the main room. I contemplated staying in my room and just talking to Alexander, but my duties as a friend calls.

"I gotta go, Alex. Can we talk later?"

"(Y/N)! You can't just leave, we're in the same country! Maybe that's why the time differences changed, I mean I didn't think to ask... Which state are you in? Wait, which University?"

I laughed slightly before replying, "Goodbye, Alexander."

I sat on the sofa nibbling on a slice of pizza. We were watching some old DVD Mia had. I had tried reaching out to Alexander to ask him what his favourite type of pizza was- but I didn't get a reply. I think he's still annoyed that I tuned him out earlier, which I understand. I still apologised, and pushed the slight doubt that he'd left me forever to the back of my mind. My train of thoughts then went to past conversations with Alexander.

He rambles a lot. When there's something that's annoyed him or something he feels passionate about, he will tell me. I think that's amazing. I personally am one to keep to myself. Alexander is such a contrast to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. If we were both very talkative or very quiet no actual conversation would be made. As the DVD continued, I kept eating my pizza and thinking of Alex.

It's Saturday afternoon, and I'm supposed to be revising French. The more I look at the text book, the more I get irritated. One hour in of doing nothing, I just screamed. I yelled and shouted profanities to get across that I cannot, for the life of me, remember any of this. A few seconds after, when my throat was hoarse and I was breathing heavily, Mia entered my room. She swung the door open, eyes open and alert.

"Is there a burglar? Or a spider?" She asked, looking around my room. I sighed and rested my head in the palms of my hands. "Neither. That was me practising the sound of despair I'll make when I fail my mid-terms." I mumbled. She made a soft 'Oh', and then made her way over to my desk and I. She heavily planted her hand on my head and ruffled my hair. I groaned and tried to shake her off.

"You'll be fine! What if I told you, that there is a guy in my Criminal Justice class that is French." she said. I raised my head to look at her, hair covering my eyes. I pushed my fringe out of the way and answered her, "I would say, 'good for him'? I don't see how that effects anything."

Mia giggled once more. "He's low on money, and is totally willing to do anything at the minute. He could tutor you in French for a few extra dollars." This made my ears perk up, a tutor! I still have a few hundred dollars in my saving account from birthday money and my job. "Do you think he'll accept $100 for three weeks of tutoring? Around two nights a week?" I asked, voice suddenly hopeful.

Mia's brown eyes twinkled as she nodded enthusiastically. "I'll text him now and ask him. But don't worry, he should be up for it!" she replied, phone already in hand. I sprung up from my chair and pulled her into a hug, jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you." I chanted, she laughed and patted me on the head before she unlocked her phone.

The tutor worked a charm. That was four weeks ago, and I just got my results from my French exam. My tutor was called Lafayette, and he was possibly the kindest human being possible. After the three weeks of tutoring were over, I tried to give him a payment. When I did, he refused and said he would only give it to me after I got my results. As I walked out of the university campus, I couldn't help but think of the A I got.

"Well done. I told you that you could do it." I stopped and paused, that was Alexander's voice. He hadn't spoken to me for almost a month now.

"Alexander. Hi, and uh thank you."

"I'm sorry (Y/N). I shouldn't have ignored you. It was childish, and I've been busy at work, just please forgive me."

"Well... you're forgiven. I just got an A on my French exam, nothing can ruin my mood now."

"Good, I'm glad you got the results you deserve. When we meet I'm bringing you out to dinner to celebrate. Wherever you want to go."

That's when the reality hit me, 'When we meet'. I will meet Alexander. We're in the same country, we're both aware we're in the same country.

"That sounds great, Alexander. I just ca-," my thoughts came to an abrupt stop when my phone began ringing. "Alex, I need to go. I'm getting a call, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, love. My break is nearly over anyway, goodbye."

I blushed at the nickname before tuning him out. I looked at the caller ID to see Lafayette, then I quickly answered. "Hey, Lafayette!"

Lafayette was ecstatic to hear about my grade. We made arrangements to meet up at a small bar, so I could give him his fee and so we could catch up. I put on black skinny jeans, my favourite t-shirt and a pair of boots. I grabbed my jacket before I walked to the bar.

When I arrived, I spotted Lafayette at a table but he wasn't alone. Three other men accompanied him. Suddenly feeling small, I tip-toed over. They were laughing at something I wasn't aware of, and none of them seemed to notice me. I gently tapped Lafayette on the shoulder. He turned around and grinned at me. "You made it!" he all but shouted.

I simply nodded and waved back, a small smile on my face. On the inside I was panicking, I don't do well with new people. Especially if they're drunk. Well, Lafayette and the tall, muscled one were drinking. The guy with the freckles wasn't drinking, and neither was the attractive one with the long hair. It didn't matter, I was still panicking.

I can't do this, I'm going to die.

"(Y/N)? Is everything okay?" I visibly relaxed at Alexander's voice.

"I'll be fine, don't worry."

I heard Lafayette say something to me, then I snapped back to reality. "Oh sorry, that was rude of me. I was just, uh talking" I quietly explained, hoping he knew what I meant. His eyes widened and he nodded vigorously. "Oui, of course. Do not worry!" he said, accent coming through stronger than usual. Then, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a white envelope. It was his fee (which I raised to $150, because his tutoring was amazing).

As I handed it over Alexander spoke once more, "You know there's a girl here who might just steal me away from you."

"W-what?" I replied, even stuttering in my mind. There had been stories of soulmates who left each other for other people.

"(Y/N). Look at me please." Alexander spoke again, only this time it wasn't inside my mind. I looked around, and immediately locked eyes with the man with the long hair. He smiled at me and unexpectedly I blurted out, "Well if it isn't Tall, Dark and Handsome."

I heard the tall muscled man mutter 'what the fuck' under his breath, but before I could respond I was pulled into an embrace. I'm almost positive he knocked over a chair getting to me. I hugged him back, as my heart raced a mile a minute. "How did you know it was me?" I asked, voice soft. I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled. "Your accent was kind of a give away, and I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You never mentioned you were fucking gorgeous."

I squeaked and buried my head into his coat in embarrassment. He stepped away slightly and looked at Lafayette. "Sorry, Laf. I think I'll be tutoring her from now on."

Fin.

I don’t have anything to say.- Julia (She manages the account because Grace can’t use technology)

#alexander hamilton #hamilton #x reader #hamilton x reader #alexander x reader

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