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storiesforallfandoms · 1 year

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more than a song ~ alex turner

word count: 2937

request?: yes!

“hi lovely! i wanted to request an alex turner x reader. just something based off of the song you’re so dark by arctic monkeys. he’s been friends with you for a while but a side comment from his girlfriend (something just like she doesn’t get how they’re just friends) and it’s just snaps into place. ig just him writing the song and moments of them together. maybeeeee him jacking off imagining her on all fours 👀. something like that! thank youuuuu”

description: in which he starts by writing a song about his best friend who is much different than him, and it turns into something more

pairing: alex turner x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (male masturbation), kind of cheating since alex is imagining the reader and not his girlfriend (who will be a made up character, not his real girlfriend louise), also the reader doesn’t really know what alex was doing so idk take that into consideration? idk these warnings are a mess now

masterlist (one, two, three)

It all started with a comment his girlfriend, Cheryl, made.

“She’s so dark. How are you two friends?”

They had just left a night out with Alex’s bandmates and his best friend, (Y/N). It was the first time the two women had met, which Alex was hoping would go well since both of them meant so much to him. They had just barley left the bar when Cheryl made the comment.

It amused him so much that he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Why do you say that?”

Cheryl gave Alex a look. “Really?”

He stopped walking so he could turn to face her. “I’m serious. What do you mean she’s dark?”

“Alex...she talked for nearly an hour about HP Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe.”

Alex waited, expecting her to explain why that was a bad thing. When she didn’t, he said, “Yeah, those are her favorite authors.”

“They’re very depressing authors.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ve never read any of their stuff.”

Cheryl closed her eyes and sighed. “She’s got a very dark personality, Alex. Like murder of crows follow her around, Addams family’s long lost member dark. It’s just weird to me that you’re her friend when she’s so depressing.”

“Hey, you may think that, but she’s still my best friend. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t insult her like that.”

Cheryl crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. “Maybe I should be questioning your friendship with her in different ways.”

It was safe to say the night did not go as planned. Alex brought Cheryl home in a tense silence. He gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek before she got out without a word, slamming her door shut behind her.

The night had definitely left a slight strain on their relationship. Cheryl had decided that she hated (Y/N) just because of this idea she had that Alex and (Y/N) had romantic feelings for one another, but Alex refused to end his friendship with her when that wasn’t true at all, and when he had known (Y/N) for so much longer than Cheryl. So, even though they decided to continue their relationship, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing.

But Cheryl’s comment about (Y/N)’s personality stuck in Alex’s mind. He had never noticed a “darkness” to his best friend. She was just (Y/N), the person Alex had known since they were kids. But now he was thinking about the things she liked, and the way she acted and just her general personality. He found himself humming to himself around his apartment; a melody at first, but eventually lyrics started forming in his mind.

“You got your HP Lovecraft. Your Edgar Allan Poe.”

He quickly rushed to his work desk to scribble down the lyrics as they came to his head.

“You got your unkind ravens, and your murder of crows.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he thought of Cheryl’s comment about (Y/N) being like a murder of crows. What Cheryl didn’t know was that (Y/N) had a tattoo along the backside of her left shoulder that was a flock of black birds. They weren’t distinguishable birds, but she often said it was a murder of crows since they were black birds. Cheryl would probably have lost her mind if (Y/N) was wearing anything that would’ve showed off that tattoo.

Thinking of Cheryl caused his mind to wander to the turmoil of their relationship. He looked down at the verse and chorus he had written about (Y/N) and thought about the fact that he was in the process of writing a song for his best friend when he had never had thought about writing one for Cheryl at all since they started dating. Maybe Cheryl was right to think Alex felt stronger feelings than friendship for (Y/N).

He shook his head. No, that’s not it. She’s my best friend since we were kids, and I’ve only known Cheryl for a few months. That’s all it is.

“I know you’re nothing like mine, cause she’s walking on sunshine. And your love would tear us apart.”

Alex was at his desk for nearly an hour putting the song together. He had two full verses and a rough outline for the chorus, but it still needed something more. He was toying around with more lyrics when he started writing, “You watch Italian horror and you listen to the scores. Leather-clad and spike collar, I want you down on all fours.”

“Whoa,” he muttered to himself. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

But now that he had written it, he couldn’t help but picture (Y/N) doing exactly what he had written: on his bed, down on all fours, her ass in the air.

He shook his head. “No,” he scolded himself. “No, stop. This is wrong.”

But he couldn’t stop. He closed his eyes and the image was embedded into his eyelids. He felt himself straining against his jeans as he imagined himself knelt behind her, looking down at her ass in the wear, wearing only a pair of lacy black underwear.

He groaned as he palmed himself through his jeans. The desire was far too strong to ignore. He had to take care of this, otherwise he knew he’d have a nasty ache between his legs that he would not be able to get rid of.

Just one time, he thought. Then I’ll never think of her like this again.

Alex unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down to his knees. His dick was hard as a rock and angry red. He hissed as the cool air touched the sensitive area. He spit on his hand and wrapped his hand around the base. His head tipped back as a moan erupted from his throat.

He closed his eyes and the image of (Y/N) appeared again. Her face buried into the pillow beneath her, moans muffled by the fabric of the pillow. Alex’s dick plunging in and out of her tight pussy, her ass bouncing every time his hips collided with it. He imagined that her moans were as pretty as her regular voice was. Picturing that pretty voice moaning his name caused his dick to twitch in his hand.

The wet sounds of his hand stroking his dick mixed with his heavy breathing and moans filled the room. His mind drifted from having her bent over in front of him to having her sat on his lap in the very chair where he was sat. He imagined (Y/N), still just in a matching lingerie set, pulling him away from his songwriting so she could climb up onto his lap and straddle him. He imagined her pulling the fabric of her panties to the side, a string of arousal connecting her needy hole and the underwear. He could almost feel the warm, wetness of her walls as she sunk herself down onto him, and her lips on his neck as she started to ride him.

“Fuck,” he grunted. “God, that feels so good.”

His desire to have her grew, even though he knew he never would. She was his best friend. There was no way she felt this way for him, too. And he definitely was not going to risk their friendship by bringing these feelings up to her. More than anything, (Y/N) was his friend and he wasn’t about to lose her all together. For now, the only way he’d have her would be in his imagination, and he was more than okay with that.

Behind his closed eyes he could see (Y/N)’s perfect tits bouncing in his face. He squeezed the base of his dick a little tighter as his jerking motions became quicker, almost more desperate. He could feel his high creeping up on him, and he was desperately trying to chase it.

In his mind, (Y/N) was leaning into his ear. In a sexy, sultry voice, he pictured her whispering, “Cum for me, Alex.”

And that was all he needed to go tumbling over the edge. He called out her name into his empty apartment as his hot cum spilled over his hand, lap, and some on his shirt. He mentally cursed to himself for not preparing more for the mess, but physically he felt incapable of fixing it. He let his head rest on the back of the chair as he breathed heavily. When he opened his eyes to finally face reality, he was looking up at the ceiling instead of at (Y/N)’s beautiful face.

There was a slight ringing in his ears as the blood flow from his brain to his dick finally went down. It was loud enough that he almost didn’t hear his phone vibrating on the desk and took him a moment to realize someone was trying to call him. He reached out with his clean hand to look at the caller ID, and his heart skipped a beat when (Y/N)’s name and face popped up on his screen.

Against his better judgement, Alex answered. “Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” (Y/N) asked, a joking tone in her voice. “I’ve sent you, like, five text messages.”

Alex pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the lockscreen to see that (Y/N) had in fact tried to text him.

“Hey fucker, what are you doing?”

“Hello? Alex?”

“Quick wanking off and answer me.” (That one both made him laugh and made his heart pound harder against his chest.)

“Listen, can I come over? I wanted to talk about something.”

“I really hope the reason you’re not answering is not what I think.”

“Sorry, I was - uh - I was busy writing,” he said. It wasn’t entirely a lie. “I got really into it and had my phone on silent. Didn’t even know you were texting me. What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

“Well, I’m currently parked outside your place. Can I come in to talk about it?”

He felt his blood run cold. (Y/N) was outside his place right now trying to come in to talk to him, meanwhile he was sat at his work desk with cum over himself after jerking off to the thought of her.

This truly could not be any worse.

“Yeah! Yeah, just give me a second,” he said, quickly trying to figure out a solution to this.

“Alex, I’ve known you for years, you do not have to tidy the place up for me,” (Y/N) said.

“I know, I just need to...I just have to do something before you come in. Give me a second.”

He hung up before (Y/N) could protest any further. He quickly took off his already cum-stained shirt and used it to wipe off his hand and the area around his dick. He threw the shirt with the rest of his dirty clothes, tucked himself back into his jeans, and found a new shirt to put on. Just as he was pulling the shirt over his head, the doorbell started ringing. He quickly raced to his front door and threw it open to reveal (Y/N) stood there.

“Are you done whatever you had to do?” she asked, but pushed past him before he could answer.

“Come on in, make yourself at home,” he teased as he followed her in.

“I always do,” she said with a smirk. “You’re lucky I respect your privacy enough that I didn’t just get that hidden spare key and barge in here before I called.”

Very, very lucky for that, actually.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked her as they reached his living room. “Your texts sounded serious.”

(Y/N) sighed and flopped down onto his couch. Alex sat across from her, leaving a decent amount of space between them. His mind was still reeling from the mental images from earlier that he wasn’t sure if he trusted himself to be so close to (Y/N) right now.

But she seemed very troubled, which was very concerning to him. (Y/N) always talked to him when something was wrong, but very rarely did she physically come over to his place to talk about something. He knew whatever it was had to be very serious for her to show up so suddenly like this.

“I ran into Cheryl at the store just now,” she said, looking down at her lap. “And...well...I know she doesn’t like me. I’m not stupid. I know there’s a reason she doesn’t come out anymore when she knows I’m there, and our brief run ins since we first met always include a glare whenever she sees me. Don’t even try to deny it, Alex.”

He wasn’t going to, but his mouth had been open to speak. He wasn’t even sure what he would’ve said, so he closed his mouth again and allowed her to go on.

“I saw her and decided just to try and avoid her. I expected her to do the same. There was really no reason for her to approach me when it was just her, so I thought. But she came right up to me in the middle of an aisle and she...well, the best way to describe it is she went off on a tirade about not liking me and how she wishes you would just stop being friends with me, and even told me that I should be the one to end our friendship so that she didn’t have to stress about me and you anymore.”

Alex’s hands balled into fists on his lap. He couldn’t believe Cheryl would really go up to (Y/N) like that when he wasn’t around. Like (Y/N), he figured that Cheryl would’ve just walked the other way and left her alone since she disliked her so much. But to go up to his best friend in a public and to go as far as telling her to stop being friends with him for the sake of a relationship that wasn’t even a month in was further than he ever expected her to go.

“I thought you weren’t responding because she got to you first,” (Y/N) continued. “I thought she was going to come to you with some made up bullshit saying that I was the one who attacked her or something.”

“I haven’t heard from her,” Alex said. “I guess she’s waiting till whenever I see her next.”

“Listen, I’m sorry that I’m causing this strain on your relationship - ”

Alex reached out to take (Y/N)’s hand to cut her off. The contact sent a spark through him, but he tried his best to ignore it.

“You’re not the one causing any strain to my relationship. Cheryl is. She’s the one who is feeling so insecure about our relationship that she has to go as far as calling you down to the dirt while I’m not around. I’ve tried everything to assure her there’s nothing to worry about between us, but it’s not enough for her. I think...I don’t think I can continue this relationship with her. Especially not after what you told me.”

(Y/N) looked down at their joined hands. In a soft voice she said, “She’s a fucking bitch.”

Alex smiled and chuckled softly. (Y/N) did as well, and eventually, they were both laughing at her comment.

When the laughter died down silence fell over them. Neither one of them knew how to break it, but they didn’t really feel like they had to. Silence always felt comfortable between the two of them. They never felt like they had to speak if they didn’t want to. They could just sit like this for hours and it would be fine.

But their hands were still joined together. (Y/N) was tracing circles in the back of his hand with her thumb, almost absentmindedly. He liked the feeling of her hand against his. He never wanted to let go of her.

“You said you were writing when I came?” she finally asked, looking up at him. “Anything good?”

“Oh, um, I think so? I haven’t really put it together properly. It’s just a couple verses and a chorus that I have to finish.”

“Can I hear it? Or see what you have written, at least?”

His face burned at the question. He knew he was definitely blushing by the way that a confused look creeped on (Y/N)’s face. How did he show her this song, which was clearly about her and included a line about wanting to fuck her, and not absolutely ruin their friendship in this moment?

“I-I guess, if-if you wanted to,” he stuttered. “But, um...it’s...it’s a little embarrassing because...well, you were my muse for it.”

Her face seemed to brighten. “Really? You were writing about me?”

“Yeah. There’s some lyrics...well, you’d know it was about you the song is released so I guess there’s no getting around it, there’s some lyrics that are a bit...more than friendly.”

And there it was. There was no taking it back.

He watched her face, trying to gauge what her reaction to that revelation would be. She was just looking at him for a moment, as if registering his words, before a smirk crept across her face.

“Then show me,” she told him, her voice low and sultry the exact same way it had been in his imagination.

And Alex swore he had never been more excited than in that moment.

#alex turner #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys #arctic monkeys imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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siryouarebeingmocked · 2 months

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Carter and Lovecraft, by Jonathan L. Howard (2015)

I really wanted to like this book.

I've read a few Lovecraft novels and stories, and I liked them. So when I saw this on my friend's bookshelf, I borrowed it, and read it.

Tried to.

The first real fly in the ointment? NYPD protag sees his partner take a 9mm retirement in front of him on a creepy case, and becomes a private detective. Mysterious lawyer shows up at his office one day and says there was a bookstore owner in Providence, Rhode Island, who has been missing and just declared dead.

The protag gets the bookshop. He's not sure why.

Protag goes to the bookshop. Owner's niece, Emily, is there. She's been running the shop alone since the owner vanished, and she co-ran it when he was alive. Also, she's biracial. Would be played by Zoe Kravitz in the movie, he thinks.

Her name is Lovecraft.

As in, she's a descendant of ol' Howard Philips.

She notes the irony; a black-ish "mulatto" descendant of an anti-black racist.

"Okay," I think, as I checked the publication date. "You've gotten that token bit out of the way. Now, can we move on?"

Apparently not.

As protag starts looking into the disappearance and other weird stuff, he decides he needs to get his eye in. So he goes to a gun range, where he needs to sign up for the NRA first

and ends the session by "re-engaging the safety" on his Glock.

Fun fact: stock Glocks don't have manual safeties, AFAIK.

In the next chapter, protag thinks about how he used the gun. He hates the NRA and the whole "gun fetish" thing, but he needs the iron, just in case.

Two strikes. Three if you count the safety thing.

Yes, I know an NYPD cop might be a bit bigoted about the issue, especially considering how his partner died. But it really feels like the writer's opinion.

In fact, let me just-

Yep. The writer is British. This sounds awfully familiar.

It was about this time that I realized something. The protagonist has no traits that aren't directly related to being a cop or detective. Absolutely none.

I don't think we know what he does in his off hours. No friends. Nothing but the job.

Heck, Miss Lovecraft has more personality than him, and she takes up a lot less screen time.

Protag decides to give Lovecraft half the business, so he can become a silent partner. People start dying in physically impossible ways - like the dude who drowned in his dry car in a parking lot - our hero looks into it.

He also ends up learning about a local family, the Waites. Rich, keep to themselves on their own land, been around since before the area was officially settled, apparently.

The local who tells him about all this says the younger ones are oddly attractive. The family has distinctive big eyes.

Anyone remotely familiar with HP Lovecraft just went "Oh, right, they're fishmen. Got it." I've seen this trope done better before, like in the comic Shadowgirls.

Hero looks into the archives, finds records of a racist Town Council rant by an early Waite, back when they were still into trading. Including slaves. Specifically, patriarch Newton Waite went to a council meeting and said black people should serve others, and shouldn't have self-determination.

The archivist intern says it's was "a different time", and that's just how people were back then.

Of course, he adds "People who talk like that now - no pass for them."

End scene.

Like this extremely mainstream, boring opinion is some kind of

In the next scene, protag chats about the fit he had near the Waite place. Learns about another mysterious death. When he chats about it with Emily, he suddenly realizes she's hot.

Then the narration tells us that he was a racist bigot in his teens, though he thought he was being sensible at the time. He now knows he was wrong, but he still feels sparks of it when he reads about some black kid doing some stereotypically black thing, which gives certain white people "a hard-on of righteousness".

And, of course, his time spent walking away from "instinctive racism" means his dating pool opened up. Like Emily Lovecraft, for example.

The most stereotypically black thing would probably be crime. Or being a single mom or deadbeat dad.

Sadly, I know of plenty of black people - from my black majority home country - who fall into one of those categories. Or two. Three if you include "poverty", but we're Developing, so that barely even counts.

Also, this basically came out of nowhere. Not Emily being hot - I mean, look at Zoe Kravitz - but his unsolicited thoughts on racism.

All of these issues have also been issues for many concerned black people. For decades. The 'stereotypically black things' might be bad themselves, not because they make racist white people feel smug.

This is precisely where I closed the book for good. I would've put away the bookmarks, but I needed the page so I could write this rant.

Honestly, writing all this made me realize that I should've given up long before I made it halfway through the book. But I just kept hoping it would get better.

Doing the same well-worn cliches in a modern setting doesn't really make them interesting. Neither do the little 'racism is bad, mmmkay?' bits.

#books #personal #lovecraft #long

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samwisethewitch · 1 year

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I know this isn't the theme of my blog but as 1.) a genderqueer person, who 2.) has a media studies degree, I want to talk real quick about JK Rowling, the idea of separating art from the artist, and why you literally cannot consume media created by JKR without contributing to real harm against real people.

First let's talk about Death of the Author, because I see a lot of people misusing it online. Death of the Author is a theory from postmodern literary criticism that basically says that an author's intentions and personal beliefs shouldn't impact how readers interpret their work. Basically, this means that the author's own interpretation of the work is just as valid as any reader's interpretation, and vice versa.

Critics who subscribe to Death of the Author believe a work should only be judged by what actually appears in the text, not by what the author later claims it "really meant." So if, for example, an author becomes radicalized after publishing her books and later claims that her racist, pseudo-fascist villains were secretly a metaphor for trans people, Death of the Author would tell you that interpretation is utter bullshit and doesn't magically become canon just because the author said it.

I see a lot of people online equate Death of the Author with the concept of "separating art from the artist," but these are separate concepts. Death of the Author just means that the author's own interpretation of their work isn't any more valid than the audience's. Separating art from artist means we as an audience can appreciate a person's artistic achievements without condoning all of their actions and beliefs. So, for example, I can appreciate that HP Lovecraft revolutionized horror fiction while also acknowledging that he was horrifically racist -- and me condemning his racism doesn't change how influential his work was.

Setting aside that there's a huge debate over whether it's even possible to separate art from artist, the main difference between HP Lovecraft and JKR is that Lovecraft is dead and has in fact been dead for so long that his work is in the public domain. That means no matter how many times I read his work, watch films based on his stories, or talk about his role in the history of modern horror fiction, he doesn't make a penny. Whether I engage with his work or not does not change the fact that Lovecraft is dead and is not getting any money from me.

JKR very much is making money off people engaging with her work, and she's openly using that money to hurt people. (See here, here, here) As long as she's raking in Harry Potter dollars, she is going to keep turning around and funneling them into hate.

I don't want this post to get too long, so here's a quick rundown of some of the defenses I've seen and why they don't work:

"I only watch the movies on streaming services! I've already paid for the subscription, so it doesn't matter what I watch with it." That's not how streaming services work. Streaming services track views to determine what content is worth throwing more money at. This is why "hate watching" makes no sense. Streaming services don't care if you like what you watch. They only care about how many viewers it brings in, and if something gets a lot of watchers, they're going to renew contracts, greenlight sequels and spinoffs, and give more royalties to the creator.

"I only watch the movies when they run on cable." Again, not how this works. Like streaming services, cable networks track views to determine what programs are bringing in the most viewers. The reason these networks run the HP movies so often is because they know people will tune in to watch, which makes them more money. They're going to keep paying for rights to run these movies until they stop bringing in viewers.

"I checked out the books from my library! I thought we were supposed to support our local libraries!" In general, yes, libraries are great, but they also operate on supply and demand. That means if books are consistently checked out and have a long wait list, the library is much more likely to order new copies to meet the demand.

"I grew up on Harry Potter."/"It's my favorite book series."/Other appeals to nostalgia. Thankfully, the HP books genuinely don't actually do anything that hadn't already been done well, if not better, by other authors. If you're craving fictional wizard schools, allow me to recommend Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett and A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin.

Last but not least, I want to remind everyone that JKR also publishes adult fiction under the pen name Robert Galbraith. Don't buy, rent, or borrow Galbraith books either.

#transphobia tw #transphobia #antisemitsm tw #antisemitism #terfs fuck off #terfs dni #fuck jkr #jk rowling #harry potter #robert galbraith #books #bookblr #media #lgbtq+#queer

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fictive-culture · 11 months

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(Not fictive culture ask) What rant did ypu wanna go on about fictives from problematic sources? /genq

!!!!

Okay SO! When it comes to fictives problematic sources basically don't fucking matter. Like if someone is an avid harry potter fan yea that is shitty. However if someone has a harry potter introject and that is the only information you have you can not assume the same of them as you would a harry potter fan.

They could have been a fan when they were a kid and either introjected them then, or since the memory exists within them, they can't just forget everything about the source. The brain decided to introject them later. Even if they are non traumagenic you don't know how or when they got introjected and if they are still a fan of that source today.

By all means, if a source is triggering to you or makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to interact with them, but you can't make it their problem. Simply block them because unless you can easily see they are still a fan of and support the source, the only way to figure out how they got a fictive is to ask incredibly invasive questions and make people defend themselves by talking about their trauma or their past self which no one is entitled to.

Also, this isn't fictive specific, but liking a source doesn't even always automatically mean they're a horrible person. Jk bitch has irreversibly ruined her books but if the books were really important to someones childhood and they just talk about it amongst friends or keep a couple pieces of merch they bought before they learned she was awful to hold on to the good memories. They aren't a bad person? Burning or throwing their merch away isn't going to take the money back from her. If they don't support her and don't buy the merch, don't watch the movies they aren't really doing anything wrong. If you do throw your stuff out because it makes you uncomfortable, that's valid but if you put on a big show of it it's kind of just performative hating the show more than showing care and support for all the people she is against. Just don't be a clown and put your hogwarts house in your description, or people are gonna assume you support her.

People still read and enjoy the various stories by Lovecraft and he was awful. People still watch marvel movies when so much is wrong with various directors and actors.

For a lot but not all things you have to learn how to consume things critically, or you are going to end up being unable to watch anything because at least one person in it's creation was awful or at least one part was kind of problematic. And if it's all or nothing it's going to be so hard for you to tell apart good and bad people. There are probably moms out there that go to pride give out water bottles, free mom hugs and supports her queer kids to the moon and back but obsesses over hp and knits inspired blankets. She's not a bad person she's probably just confused and old.

I hope even like half of this makes sense and I just used HP since basically everyone knows what it is I thought it was neat for like half a year when I was 15

TLDR: Fictives ≠ supporting the source and they don't owe you how they formed. Problematic sources are 98% of the time not even worth 100% canceling you just need to learn to consume things critically.

#not fictive culture #even though i said people dont owe you their origins we like talking about ourselves so feel free to send our main asks if you want info on #any of our sources (main because id feel bad filling this blog with not related content)

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atopvisenyashill · 6 days

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if you read/watched harry potter, Which houses would the Targaryen siblings be in? (Aegon, Aemond, Hel, Daeron and Rhaenyra) in your opinion.

oooof okay i definitely have, i once had like hundreds of pages of blog space dedicated to it but i don't like. really want to do harry potter sorting because rowling is A Bad Person, and i don't mean "she's old and says stuff that makes you wince" the way george is ~problematic~ or even in the “maybe i should put a block on fox on her tv” type that your weird uncle or grandma is, i mean she's a bigot in an hp lovecraft kind of way where you're like "he named his cat WHAT” i mean she’s on some turner diaries shit, she is Out And Out and Proudly a bad person and i just don’t want to engage with her stuff.

like, sometimes people get accused of like, idk ~virtue signaling~ by essentially boycotting all things harry potter, but the thing is, while yes i do feel it’s important to monetarily impact her by not watching anything related to her, not reading her books, not buying her merch, etc., i am self aware and selfish enough to admit that i don’t engage with her because emotionally it just hurts too much to know the lady who taught me how to read is an insane hateful crank. she is crazy, she hasn't written a good book since goblet of fire and we all fuckin know it, and some of her comments recently have hinted that she actually wasn’t inspired at all by wwii, which is just mind boggling to me because imo it really undercuts EVERYTHING regarding the themes people thought were present in her books about fascism & bigotry.

With that said, house sorting is typically used as a way of basically saying “what do you think drives this character” so if u want to send me some goofy ass equivalent like idk divergent or like astrology or whatever bad ya series or child fantasy book, i can almost guarantee i’ve read it and have thoughts on where i’d sort a character lmao so feel free to be like “what are viserys’ kids aura colors to you, what season are they” i’m always down, i do that for my dragon age ocs all the time, i think that’s fun. or if u just want to be like “yeah man just give me what you think is The Core Trait of these five random dudes” i Always love the chance to just ramble aksk.

also here’s a kissy face so you know i am ending this interaction with love 😘

#asks #anons #i used to love sorting people too.......#i did it all the time i'd write meta over it :((((((((((((((((((#like as i was writing this i had the thought ‘aegon is if neville was evil’ and that’s hilarious. i wish i could just feel hilarious #and not wracked with anger at her entire existence and the fact that i can even read at all is bc of poa 😭😭#but i don’t even Think about house sorting anymore i actually sort my ocs into asoiaf houses askksjdjdjdj

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ifuckinghaterobertsmirke · 7 months

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ROBERT SMIRKE??

stupid goddamn idiot motherfucking ROBERT SMIRKE fucked up building making dust chewing old ass BASTARD MAN avatar of the UGLY not a clown but the entire fucking circus of a man cringe munching greekaboo motherfucking ROBERT SMIRKE

please please please mention him to me so I can fucking GO OFF about how much I hate ROBERT SMIRKE why does he have so many fucked up buildings?? Why did he design them like that? Why are they so fucking ugly and lame????? He's dead and I'm so fucking GLAD that he is that I'm making his death date an international global holiday. WHY is he making so many fictional fucked up buildings I dont even know why I hate his guts so much I just fucking do OH WAIT it must have something to do with the fucking HORRORS he keeps creating who designs a parthenon in the middle of london?? Do you think it looks cool?? Buddy you're just stealing Greek designs like England steals artifacts. It's stupid and lame and dumb and YOURE dumb. Your buildings are the equivalent of a teenage weaboo making shitty Naruto OCs from a How To Draw Like An Anime book except WORSE cause your being paid and you should DO BETTER I hate this guy soooooo much

if I wanted to get into heaven and god said robert smirke was waiting inside I would charge in to drag us both down to hell where I could be his personal torture demon

if he gets an old ye olde timey statement and have to hear jon mimic his voice in person on voice in podcast I'm gonna buy a ticket to england, find his grave and then piss on it

he'd BETTER have a fucking good reason for deciding that the House of Leaves was A Good Idea Actually or else I'm gonna go HAm. He'd BETTER have gone insane after witnessing the horrorsTM. If he's just some oldass rich british dude who thought building the unholy lovechild of hp lovecraft and ikea was a great way to capitalism I'm going to find a way into the podcast and bitchslap him with the building code.

Motherfucker is out here committing so many osha violations. Imagine me making a BDG style video where I go over every single violation his spooky buildings have and note how many billions of dollars (with inflation) he owes the British government AND me for personally offending my basic rights. And thatd be fine except we cant categorise doors to Your Worst Fear now can we????

Man makes MC Esher drawings look like Cool Places To Live guy thought the Backrooms were a good idea id kill him if he wasnt already long dead irl

*** I do be mid season 2, no spoilies in the replies please!! frustratingly vague comments encouraged though!

#tma #the magnus archives #this was supposed to be a parody of the i fucking hate jurgen lietner bit #but i got mad and it sort of got away from me #oopsies

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sweetsmalldog · 10 months

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One of the things I hate most in stories is pointless character death, character death that only exists for shock value and “Ha gotcha!”. And that I genuinely don’t believe that’s what Aimsey and Quqqie’s deaths were. And beyond setting tone, stakes, and introducing us to the forces that the story is actually about according to the intro I don’t think that we’ve seen the last of Aimsey and Quqqie the creators on the server. I think the characters of Aimsey and Quqqie have met fates worse then death and the horror of what has befallen them will be uncovered in all it’s gruesome detail. Our pirates are the pawns, the tools, the puppets, and the victims of entities and group with more power and wealth and strength and understanding then any of them. And I mean if there’s any world to bring Lovecraftian horror to the forefront of its story of a world of oceans and inlets and strange purple tentacles.

Lovecraftian horror as a concept is defined by fear of the unknown and also kinda the ocean. There’s a reason many of the non-human in Lovecraftian horror are fishlike or literally come out of the ocean. The city Cthulhu is in and the fish people who grant Innsmouth their wealth are examples of that. (HP Lovecraft was terrified of the ocean, he was also a racist bastard even by the standards of his time and when talking about Lovecraftian horror that’s something that needs to be mentioned and talked about). Lovecraftian horror has an overwhelming sense of hopelessness in the face of the horrors of the cosmos as well as ever present decay.

Hopelessness in the face of an unfeeling world and entities beyond your power and understanding you say? Characters that are narratively always in danger simply by being a living person in this world? Those themes fit incredibly well with what we know about the lore in Pirates you say? Most of our characters are going to suffer gruesome ends and horrible fates beyond their own comprehension? Quite possibly! They’re doomed by the virtue of existing in the same world as the weird robed probably cultists and the purple corruption that literally ate an island. We’re following the victims of a horrible tragedy where the worst part is that in the end their ideals will not matter. They’re drive to fight, explore, gain wealth, and protect their family will not matter when nothing is left. We are merely waiting for them to learn that.

#pirates smp #scurvyblr #pirates smp spoilers #Aimsey #Quqqie

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trannydykepuppybot · 4 months

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No, you didn't think that piece of media whose creator was recently found to be a bad person X was bad the whole time. No, you didn't actually hate it and would have absolutely accepted those flaws that you just pointed out as excusable and not enough to compromise your enjoyment of the greater work at the time. No, it is not contradictory for something made by a bad person to be anything other than categorically awful.

Seriously, this fucking site had a whole Dracula thing going on. HP Lovecraft invented the most fuckable genre of creature in history and we all know it. The fact that it is generally impossible to separate the art from the artist does not preclude that art from having value or, dare I say it, being enjoyable.

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bumblebeerror · 10 months

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I really hate posts condemning people for still liking Harry Potter

Like I get it, okay. The books contain racism and xenophobia and the woman who wrote it is a terf. I understand that. HP Lovecraft was a raging racist too, but the Lovecraftian horror fandom still exists.

Someone can love those characters and that story and still know that. I still love those characters and story.

And I think it’s extremely reductive to point at every single Harry Potter fan and call them a terf.

A work of fiction does not lose all value just because the person who wrote it sucks. Can we maybe not add “is a Harry Potter fan” to our lists of people that are okay to bully. Can we not do that. Like please.

This is the site where we take characters and play with them like dolls, isn’t it? Maybe let’s not decide every person who once read a singular page or watched ten minutes of the films is a terf on the basis of them not hating it instinctively

#fandom wank

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 4 months

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sorry was going to sleep and my brain BLASTED me with the memory that ppl tried to defend giving money to jkr by going “what about lovecraft!” when like. they clearly don’t know anything about how lovecrafts work is actually Handled nor have they actually Read any of it (which I fucking have it’s not hard you can find it easily and his works pretty short). like. hp lovecrafts work is racist as fuuuuuck. the influence of the racism from people taking from him a bit too much is still absolutely an issue in similar works and is like. Talked About. bc like lovecrafts primary Thing in horror is influence at this point like everyone agrees he was a shitty person and that his work while actually rad as shit in some ways is also bigoted to hell and back in others to the point it’s ridiculously distracting. people are reading them with the Context he’s a racist dick and also dead if I saw someone seriously arguing lovecraft was just supporting whites or whatever the correct response would be to kick them in the jaw. want jkr's books to be treated like that? wait until like a century after she’s died, and also like if they’re being viewed like lovecrafts works jkr would be considered a monster and her work bigoted and hateful by default in a way work inspired by it actively mocks like that’s what the comparison implies. like no one’s saying you can’t do that but again the reason lovecraft is treated like that is bc he’s dead as fuck if he was alive right now and pushing that ideology I would in fact condemn people giving him money too. because. that money would be funding hate. which it isn’t bc lovecraft fucking died. you wanna make that argument you better be prepared to kill jkr yourself

#and no this isn’t a fucking death threats it’s just the only logical way this argument works is if she’s dead #it has to be in a hypothetical where she’s dead else it’s just a non sequitur bc they’re completely different scenarios

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kekkuda · 1 year

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god its tough bein the local ludwigposter, like i already had a lot of frustration w/ the way morgott’s character is interpreted by the elden ring fanbase, but at least there’s more concrete information to draw from. there are SOME people who don’t just immediately jump to the whole noble suffering hero interpretation. with ludwig though, there’s really not much solid lore about who he is as a person, just mostly about his status as the big boy top church hunter. as a result a lot of readings of his character are very dull and leave something to be desired, he just becomes a generic chivalrous knight figure. when mfs talk about how much they love his lore, it’s always this super shallow “wow it’s so sad this prolific knight figure became a beast.” is that really satisfying? you think lore is good because it is sad? idk maybe im just fucking autistic but when i interpret bb lore im reading it through my understanding of 19th century history and sociology, Romantic/Transcendentalist/Gothic literature, and a lot of gendered politics. idk i hate that mfs usually will jerk off the lore of souls games and then only have the most barebones reading of it. mfs will be like “i love how everything is left to the imagination” and then only ever talk about what we do know? like. dog have you ever heard of subtext????? IDK man i just think that a road to hell is paved with good intentions reading of Ludwig is infinitely more interesting than the “good nice guy who became a beast and did nothing wrong” but idk 97% of soulsborne fans haven’t read a book outside of berserk and youtube summaries of some trash hp lovecraft and by god does it show bc if they knew about The Sublime the lore understanders would have a much more compelling reconstruction of the game world

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 2 years

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Do you give recs? I'm looking for some woke-free medias to consume (books particularly, but it can be anything)

It's hard to give recs without knowing your taste, but I'll try. Necessarily, many of these will be older things, so sorry if that bothers you

Books:

The Lost Fleet series by Jack Campbell (sci-fi)

The Nightside series by Simon R Green (urban fantasy/detective noir)

The Deathstalker series by Simon R Green (there are gay side characters in a few of the books, but the books themselves aren't woke. Just good sci-fi/space opera)

Any Conan the Barbarian story written by Robert Howard or Robert Jordan (fantasy)

The Destroyermen series by Taylor Anderson (disclaimer I'm only up to book 4 out of 15 and the last book was published in 2020 so it may have gotten woke or started to suck later on, but right now it's pretty good and pretty pro-American. Alternate history action sci-fi)

The Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher (urban fantasy)

Any Dune book by Frank Herbert or Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert (sci-fi)

The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik (only read the first three out of nine so same disclaimer as Destroyermen. Alternate history fantasy. Napoleonic Wars with dragons)

The Sharpe series by Bernard Cornwell (also the excellent film adaptations of the books with Sean Bean if you can find them. Historical fiction. You follow Richard Sharpe through the ranks of the British army during the Napoleonic Wars)

The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien (the grandfather of modern fantasy)

The collected works of HP Lovecraft (definitely not PC or woke. His cat makes an appearance in one of his stories. Horror)

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker (horror. Hellraiser was based on this novella. tentative rec because it's good, but there's a lot of mentioned sex and very liberal attitudes towards sex so I don't know if you'd consider that woke or not. The sex obsessed characters are the bad guys though)

Any of the pre-Disney "canon" Star Wars expanded universe books.

Any of the Star Trek books written by William Shatner (they're all a connected series though so read them in order)

If non-woke is your main criteria, I'd suggest giving the Witcher books by Andrzej Sapkowski a try. I personally hated the little bit of the first one I read, and I hate the Witcher series in general, but no one can argue that the Witcher is in any way woke, lol

Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher (fantasy)

Phantoms by Dean Koontz (also recommend the movie with a very young Ben Affleck, but if you rent it on Prime use headphones. Audio is all fucked up through a surround sound system. At least it was when I rented it a few years back. horror)

The Legend of Drizzt series (and the associated sub-series) by RA Salvatore (fantasy. I stopped reading at the Transitions series--books 20-22--because I personally didn't like them and the way they changed the characters and the setting, but YMMV. I'd highly recommend books 1-19 though. Great fantasy series in my favorite D&D setting, the Forgotten Realms)

The Giver by Lois Lowry (young adult book, but has a great message of individuality and anti-government)

Since you wanted books mostly I'll just breeze through movies, shows, comics and games with a few of my favorites:

Movies - Equilibrium, Lord of the Rings, pre-Disney Star Wars, Alien, Aliens, Predator, Predator 2, Hellraiser 1 + 2, Friday the 13th series, Halloween series, The Patriot, In the Mouth of Madness, Sonic the Hedgehog 1 + 2

Shows - Jericho, X-Files, Star Trek (OS, TNG and DS9 especially. Anything nu-Trek is easily skippable), Chernobyl, Avatar The Last Airbender, Lost (it's not confusing if you just pay attention!)

Anime - Fullmetal Alchemist (both series are good but Brotherhood follows the manga more closely), Death Note, Bungo Stray Dogs, Yowamushi Pedal, Ace of Diamond, Yuri on Ice (super gay but funny and heartwarming and not woke beyond the two male leads being stupidly in love with each other even if it's never mentioned explicitly), Street Fighter II V. Honestly most anime isn't woke at all, so just look around for things that seem interesting to you and you're probably good there

Comics - Batman: No Man's Land, Batman: Knightfall, Batman: Bruce Wayne Murderer/Fugitive, Batman: The Killing Joke, any Marvel Masterwork collection, any Dark Horse Alien or Predator or Alien vs Predator comic, Spawn. Special mention: Isom and the Rippaverse. The Rippaverse is a new shared comic universe created by Eric July, self-described anarcho-capitalist and contributor to The Blaze that's specifically designed from the ground up to not be woke and offer a customer first mentality. They promise that the various books they're planning on releasing will focus on story and characters, not politics or social justice crap. So far, only Isom #1 has come out, and I haven't gotten my copy yet, but most people who've read it seem to love it, and that one comic alone has already sold over 43,000 copies and made $3.7 million so early adopting is probably a safe bet.

Games - Metal Gear Solid series, Batman: Arkham series, Halo 1-3, Mass Effect Legendary Edition, Greedfall, Dishonored series, Edge of Eternity, Metro series, Mafia 1+2, Elden Ring. Pretty much any game before the mid-2010s is a safe bet for non-woke, so like anime, you should just look at older games you think you might like, or their remasters, and go from there.

So that's my list. It's by no means complete, and there's no real order to the recs, so just look them up and see what, if anything, appeals to you. If you, or anyone else, want more specific recommendations or an opinion on a certain title or series that I mentioned or even ones I didn't, feel free to ask. I'll help if I can. Mostly what I read and watch are sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and things like that. I don't really read typical bestsellers or westerns or comedies. So I might be much help with those genres.

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