#I have a couple of 4am starts and a few really late nights | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smoochhyuka · 4 months

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Fucking Tubatu on a party

You can't wait until home.

○o。content warnings! NSFW, sex in public spaces, fem!reader, mentions of alcohol and intoxication in all, drunk!reader in all, established relationship in all, brief mention of friends smoking and oral m!receiving in Yeons, jealous!Soob and brief mention of asphyxiation, free use and fingering in Gyus (I am unsure how to write for him so its a lil weird), cunnilingus, unprotected sex and maybe strength kink if you squint in Tyuns, perv!manipulative!Kai as well as oral m!receiving and breast play, kinda more like a prompt than general hcs, unedited

Yeonjun

Yeonjun and you go out quite a lot, most of the time you either go to a bar as a date or he gets invited to stuff and he takes you as a plus one.

You are a firm believer that the getting ready portion of the night out is almost the best part, so you usually meet at either one of your places to do so together. At the beginning he didn't quite get it, but after a bottle of wine, a fotoshoot and a karaoke session he understood the appeal.

Therefore the sexual tension is already high before you even leave the house. It only gets worse throughout the night, especially the more alcohol you drink or the harder you grind on another on the dance floor. After a few hours of not even bothering to hide the boner, most of the time Yeonjun will just take you home a little earlier than planned.

But tonight is different, it's the birthday of one of his friends and he really wants to stay until at least 4am at the house party. It's just past midnight, his friend just finished opening the presents and Yeonjun knows he can't handle the blue balls for another four hours. The fact that you decided to wear the shortest and tightest dress you own doesn't help a bit.

Since the party has just gotten started, everyone is inside socializing, no one is going on the balcony for quite a while. Even all the smokers decided to go collectively before midnight so they can all comfortably celebrate the birthday together, you two can have a little bit of privacy...

Of course you noticed all of it: the boner, the lustful stare in his glossy eyes, his wandering hands, the passion even behind small pecks. The moment you saw his eyes wander toward the balcony you understand, and pull him outside. It's chilly, but thankfully not cold. Without wasting any time you unbuckle his belt.

He hisses the moment the cool air hits his swollen cock. It's an angry shade of red and his balls feel heavy and hot in your hands. He presses one clumsy kiss on your lips before you squat in front of him, struggling at first to balance your tipsy self on your heels like that.

You slowly trail the tip of your tongue along the base of his dick until you reach his tip, he can't help but moan loudly. The music definitely muffles the sound for the party attendees, the neighbors aren't so lucky.

It's the alcohol leading him, he swears! Normally he wouldn't risk to get caught receiving the sloppiest head known to man.

Soobin

He tends to stay home on the weekends, clubs aren't really his thing and bars are a waste of money. One of his friends hosts really good house parties though, they are a little smaller because they aren't open house and sometimes they even have massive wii u party or just dance tournaments, which is a lot more up his alley.

This is the first time Soobin asked you to tag along, your relationship has gotten a lot more serious lately and this is the perfect opportunity to introduce you to his friends.

He told you it's a lot more casual than most house parties, so why did you decide to wear your cutest little two piece set? Velvety fabric in your favorite color, a tiny short and a flowy, cropped, long arm top. You look like a piece of candy.

Together you receive a lot of compliments for being a pretty couple and you seem to get along well with his friends.

Since you're the only woman present, and gorgeously dolled up like that, as well as the new one, of course all eyes are on you. And some linger a little longer than they should.

He trusts you and he trusts his friends, but not all of the attendees are necessarily his friends. Especially that one guy who is the cousin of someone? He doesn't even remember who he is affiliated to, just that he's also fairly new and already getting on his nerves by laughing way too loudly at anything you do.

It's your turn to dance against the current finalist of the just dance tournament. "Binnie, give me one last kiss, I am going to the battlefield.", you giggle, your words are slurred. You make him laugh with your cuteness, but he takes the drink away from you. You definitely had enough for the night.

Halfway through the song, you give up and just dance however you like. You're very clumsy, yes, but still so mesmerizing to watch. Your hips sway, your boobs jiggle, the cousin watches too closely...

Soobin is pissed, that guy has absolutely no shame! The moment you finish he grabs you by your wrist and pulls you into the hallway, leaving everyone confused, including you.

He knows it's not your fault at all, but he can't sit there and tolerate it any longer.

You definitely take his concerns seriously, you wholeheartedly do, but that annoyed expression on his face is something you have never seen before. Maybe it's partly the alcohol, but his jealousy is turning you on.

Of course he immediately catches the shift in your body language, that smirk on your face and the sultry tone in your voice. It's really not the time to fuck! But your hands on his chest feel so good, you looked really cute earlier, he saw a peak of your ass one time during your dance... he's too easy to seduce.

Now he is the one without shame, pounding you into his friends mattress. One of his large hand on your mouth to muffle the sounds, but everyone kind of guessed what you're up to.

The walk of shame back into the living room was the most embarrassing thing he has ever done.

He promises to buy new covers as punishment.

Beomgyu

The only party he really goes to is his own birthday party. It's his birthday, he needs to age with a BANG. He won't mind a quiet get-together, but why not go and play lazer tag with his closest friends? Oh, you thought you'd go clubbing? If you think Beomgyu is stepping a single foot into a club, you're wrong. He dances for a living, why go dance more in his free time.

It's seriously so much fun, you also put up a good fight against his constant targeting off you, you even got one of his friends to help you bully him back, but to no avail. He's in his element.

Afterwards you all go out to eat together, he even rented a whole restaurant just for this. Has he ever been this extra? But everyone is having a great time, you all have delicious barley tea and you get to bond with his friends even more closely.

The evening went well, so why is your boyfriend staring at you this intensely? Beomgyu is almost bruising your hand with his tight grip, but everytime you ask if he's alright he'll just smile and dodge the question. "Please let's talk.", you plead and you leave to go outside next to the restaurant, it's to the side so the only people who could see you are the ones actually looking into the alley.

You worry, is he angry you teamed up with his friend earlier at laser tag? He surely must know it was just out of opportunity and not to upset him or flirt.

You can't even begin to describe your confusion the moment he presses you against the wall and kiss you, without even saying a single word. His hands trail down and he grabs your ass, you moan into the kiss the moment he slaps it just the way you like. You push him away, "what is going on?", you whine. "I thought about his all day.", he whispers in your ear in that deep voice, just right before biting it, making you shriek.

He is always more playful during kissing and sex, but this is really another level.

"Can I?", without even waiting for a reply he slips his hand in your pants, massaging your bud. Even with all this confusion you can't help but get at least a little horny when your boyfriend kisses you passionately like this, without even caring if someone comes looking for you.

His long fingers work you like magic. Your moans only fuel him further, they sound so angelic, he can't help but groan into your ear.

You cum hard on his fingers, your lipstick smeared all over your face. He just laughs at you.

Although he has a raging boner he declines a helping hand and just helps you to look at least a little bit less fucked out and you return back inside.

Back home you will make sure to not only return the favor but also to spoil the birthday boy.

Taehyun

No because the last time he went to a club it was not only ass but he got leaked too, now he's only going out with you, so you can make sure its a fun and private night.

He's not just the only true extrovert in the team, but also the only one who actually enjoys clubbing and prefers it over bars and house parties. He lives for the moments in the night when a popular song is played and everyone hypes up about it, everyone is screaming and dancing and just purely enjoying themselves without worry or shame. It's like the time stops inside a club and he can fully let himself go. And with you next to him its even more enjoyable.

He definitely likes to drink, but since a) you get absolutely smashed some nights and b) he feels some sort of responsibility to take care of you, he makes sure to at least be able to walk in a straight line. It's like a trade, you protect the fun and he protects the safety.

But for some reason he is so wasted tonight. Maybe it's because the barkeeper went heavy on the liquor in the drinks you got, maybe its because he had dance practice today and is just a little more susceptible to the alcohol or because he hasn't been sleeping well lately... whatever the reason, this is probably the first time he is more drunk than you.

You absolutely take the opportunity, you take so many pictures of him and tease him in videos how he's slurring his words. His goofy, lopsided smile and the few hiccups inbetween are just so cute to you, you can't help but to be all over him.

All of your kisses, your teasing, your compliments and your lingering touches intend to be innocent, but your drunk boyfriend interprets them completely differently.

His breaking point is when you decide to go dance again, the song just switches from a common party song to a much more sexual one. You love the song and immediately start singing along while wrapping your arms around his neck. On the chorus you turn around and grind your ass on his crotch, he can't help but groan at the friction. Surprised he didn't actually cum on the spot, he forcefully cups your chin and makes you turn your head to look at him. "I need air.", he tells you, his voice more raspy due to the shouting all night.

You're surprised that Taehyun retrieved your jacket from the wardrobe, "We're not leaving, are we?", you ask as you're finally outside. "Let's take a walk.", he just rebuttals. There is a small park close to the club, since it's already 3am there are barely any people around. Of course you noticed his raging boner earlier, "Are you horny?", you tease him with a grin. His face turns a lot more serious than you expected, is mood switch concerns you, therefore you stop and stand in front of him. Before you could question him he, again, pulls you closer to him, but this time by your ass.

"Baby, you tortured me all night...", he whispers, the smell of his gum hitting your nose, "Why would you treat me like this, mh? Have I been neglecting you lately?" Yes, the last time you had sex was a week or two ago because of his tight schedule, but you definitely didn't intend to take revenge like this. Your reasoning falls on deaf ears though, he is sure you must have intended to get laid. "Let me make it up to you..."

With just a jacket between your bare ass and the bench, Taehyun is squatting between your legs on the grass, sloppily eating your pussy. There is still too much alcohol in your system to care if someone hears or sees you. Before you cum he pulls away, a few tears form in your eyes from the edging.

"You will cum on my cock, right? Please.", he asks politely. In one motion he picks you up, sits down on the bench himself and you ride him until both of you cum.

Taehyun doesn't even remember the next day.

Hueningkai

Hates any and every party. No way he's going.

Naturally, since Yeonjun is throwing a house party at the dorm, Kais plan is to flee into your cozy bed at your place, probably play animal crossing on your switch and eat yummy snacks. Only one problem, you got invited as well. He can say no to the members, but how could he say no to you?

Now you're sitting in his lap in the corner of the sofa, your back facing him and his head is buried into your neck, arms tightly wrapped around your belly while you're socializing with some of the female attendees. At the beginning he did engage in the discussion but has now stopped for a while now. He only had a single beer at the beginning of the party while you already graduated from wine to shots.

You thought he went quiet because his social battery is low, which is definitely the case, but not the only reason.

Since he doesn't party he also never went with you, of course he had seen a few pictures of your late night adventures with your girlfriends but they couldn't capture how sexy you look in real life. You told him you would wear shorts and a top, since it's just a house party and you wanted to be comfortable, but he didn't expect this to be your comfortable party outfit. The low-cut top hugs your tits beautifully, the tiny shorts sculpt your ass and your legs are fully exposed. If you look closely, he can even see your cameltoe.

He went quiet fighting his boner, by now you definitely should have noticed it if it wasn't for the alcohol. He can't ignore his blue balls anylonger and decides to test the waters by grinding into you, just a little bit. The friction immediately sending a wave of relieve over his body.

A shy hand creeps down to caress your thighs, which you finally take notice off. You excuse yourself to the bathroom, Kai following you like a puppy without even mentioning anything.

"You could've said something...", you scold him as you entered his room, pouting, "If someone noticed it would've been embarrassing..." Kai frowns, "Is being with me embarrassing?" His self esteem definitely took a hit tonight. "No!", you exclaim, hugging him tightly, "But we can't do it in front of other people like that, you know that." He scoffs at you and goes to sit down at the edge of his bed, crossing his arms. "And you know that I didn't even want to attend in the first place." You lock the door.

"I know...", you walk slowly up to him, pulling down your top to expose your tits, "I am so sorry...", you kneel in front of him, kissing his clothed and rock hard cock. "It's fine...", he murmurs, lowering his arms, gently stroking your left cheek with his thumb. You pull down his pants to place kisses all over his boner, focusing on his with precum laced tip. He's so sensitive due to the wait, just a few pumps with your hand and a few kitten licks later he cums all over your tits.

You sit up straight, allowing your boyfriend to massage his cum into your breast, twisting and pulling on your nipples. It doesn't take long until he's hard again and you obediently get him off a second time.

You won't return from the bathroom.

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felixsramen · 10 months

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When i saw the part where y/n said that she was an introvert and loves reading i was in tears really i wanna thank this person that she reqested that!

So i wanna ask if you could do maybe a oneshot where y/n has a really down day couldnt sleep and when it was morning she was out for groceries and the members were at work and when they came home they saw y/n lying on the couch sleeping but with a book in their hand and the members realize how much y/n was struggling lately and they do something to help her getting better maybe? If thats okay for you i mean you dont habe to but i would really love that

I really liked this ask. Im sorry it's a little short though.

It was probably about 4am now. You were awake on the giant bed that your boyfriends had decided to buy so you all could sleep together. You were currently in-between Changbin and I.N. It was raining at this point and the rain matched your mood. You couldn't sleep after being stressed from work and getting that promotion that had you working later. Instead you climb out of the bed and make your way to the living room.

It hadn't been even a week of getting that promotion. You go to the blinds and open them all the way. You watch as another flash of lightning brightened the sky. You couldn't help but sit on the couch by the window looking out it.

The rain splattered across the sky and you watch as the leaves and tiny branches from the tree in the front yard come down. You couldn't help but cry. You had been yelled at yesterday by your boss for the stack of papers that she had gave you earlier in the week, when she had given you the promotion, hadn't all been filled out by yesterday.

Luckily she didn't force you to do another day of work and told you she expected it done when you returned. It didn't make you feel any better though knowing this was just the first week. It didn't help that your boyfriends were busy working and getting ready for their comeback. So they were staying late practicing and would come home tired and just ready to eat and rest. It didn't bother you much but you were starting to miss spending time with them.

You were sobbing at this point as the droplets hit your window covering it up. Eventually the tears dried and so did the rain but the clouds were still grey. You had stayed up all night and into the morning.

You hear the door open. The light turns on and you see Seungmin who has bed hair. He yawns and stretches. "What are you doing in here this early?" He asks you in his morning voice.

"Couldn't sleep." You tell him and he makes his way to the couch. He goes up to you and climbs onto the couch cuddling into you. Your hand goes to his hair and he sighs.

"They'll be getting up in a few minutes. I have to get ready for work too." He says yawning again. Your nails go into his hair and scratch his scalp and he sighs with content.

He slowly pulls away from you reluctantly. He goes into the room again probably to get the rest of the boys up. Within 30 minutes the house is full with your 8 boyfriends.

"Fucking hell. It's too early for this." Jisung whines onto Hyunjin who is half asleep but ready to go on the other couch.

Your other 6 boyfriends make their way to the living room. "I really don't want to go. Sometimes I wish I had decided to do literally anything else that doesn't involve me waking up at the ass crack of dawn." Minho grumbles as he grabs the keys.

Chan nods eyes heavy as he takes a sip of his coffee. "I'm so tired." Jisung whines again.

"Lets go. They said they'd let us leave work early and then we'll have a couple days off after." Chan says taking another sip of the coffee he made.

The boys file out of the house waving at you and telling you they love you. Changbin sighs. "We'll be back around 1." He says bag on his shoulder.

"I'd appreciate it if you went shopping today. I left money on the nightstand." Minho says yawning and you nod your head.

"I love you." He says and you return it. He sighs as he closes the door behind him. You let out your own sigh.

You weren't feeling much better. You instead went on your phone scrolling through for the next few hours before you decide to go to the grocery store.

You don't feel good about yourself so you throw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Felixs hoodie, opting on going for a more lazy look. Who cared anyways? It was just the grocery store. You grab the money that sat on the nightstand and you put it in your wallet and grab your purse shoving it inside.

It didn't take you long getting in the car and going to the store. Luckily Minho had made a list of things that you needed to get. You were quick to find them knowing you couldn't stand being out in public at the moment. You checked the list once again making sure you had gotten everything.

Your phone buzzes. "Also me and Bin need protein shakes for working out. Love you and thank you!" A message from Chan reads. You try your best not to make a face at the mention of the protein shakes Chan and Changbin would chug. You sigh but go towards that aisle.

You quickly grab it and check out. You were glad the house wasn't too far. You got home and put the groceries up quickly and it was around noon. You wondered if the boys kept your book out that you had currently been reading or if Minho had put it up with the rest of your books.

You go to the drawer occupying the room and open it finding your book. Luckily the bookmark was in it still. Jisung had a habit of picking your book up wrong and the bookmark falling out of it. You grab the book shutting the drawer. You make your way to the hall closet grabbing an extra blanket from there and making your place on the couch.

You had gotten halfway through the book before your eyes started getting heavy. Not being able to sleep last night must've taken a toll on you because before long your eyes give up on you.

The boys pull up to the house getting out. "Why did we have to be there so long today? I thought we were getting out at 3." He complains as he grabs his bag.

"We would've left around 1 if you spent more time practicing than complaining about doing it." Hyunjin says glaring at his boyfriend.

"It was hard and we were there all dayyyy." Jisung says dragging out his last word.

Minho raises an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "You literally got it in like 20 minutes after you stopped complaining." He says as Chan grabs the keys from his pocket.

"So you're saying it's all my fault?" He says pouting.

"No it's not Ji. You weren't the only one complaining instead of practicing we all were." Changbin says as Chan unlocks the door letting them inside.

"Y/N!!!!" Jisung yells out for you ready to jump on you and smother you with love. Instead he sees you on the couch with a blanket and one of your books laying on you.

He comes up to you and the boys follow behind. Usually you'd be up doing stuff around the house to keep you busy while your boyfriends were gone on your off days.

"She's asleep." Jisung says to his boyfriends.

"We can see that Ji." Hyunjin says to him. Jisung glares at his boyfriend.

"You know what I meant." Jisung says looking back at you.

"I don't think she slept at all last night." Seungmin says speaking up to his boyfriends. They look at him confused.

He sighs. "I got up before you guys and I didn't see her so of course I went looking for her. I saw her looking out the window on the couch. So I went up to her and asked what she was doing up so early. She told me she couldn't sleep." Seungmin says to his boyfriends and they look at you concerned.

"I woke up at one point and noticed she wasn't in bed but I didn't think much of it at the time. I was too tired." Felix says to his boyfriends.

"How long has she been like this?" Changbin asks no one in particular.

"I think we should be concerned Chan." I.N. says and he nods.

"I don't think any of us realized how much she's going through especially with the new promotion." Minho says sighing.

Chan nods once again. Minho grabs the book and places the book mark in it. He sighs watching you.

"Should we wake her?" Hyunjin asks his boyfriends. Chan shakes his head.

"Not yet." Minho says agreeing with Chan.

"We should at least take her to the room." Felix says and they nod. Changbin scoops you up into his arms careful to not wake you up taking you in the room and laying you down.

Jisung and I.N. climb in bed too pressing their bodies against you. You cuddle into I.N.s chest who stays still. "Since we have the next few days off I think we should come up with days we each try and spend with her." Chan says and the boys agree.

"Me, Hyunjin, and Innie were going to go to the new little coffee shop tomorrow. We were planning on inviting her too." Seungmin says replying to his boyfriend.

"Okay good. For the next few days we're off let's all invite her to go with us wherever we go." Changbin says watching you.

You slowly open your eyes to being cuddled behind and in front of you. "Hey love. How'd you sleep?" Jisung asks from behind you.

"Better." You say sighing and rubbing your eyes. You try to sit up but I.N. and Jisung keep you in place.

"Did you sleep last night?" Changbin asks you concerned. They finally let you go so you can look at your other boyfriends. They all have concerned looks on their faces as you sigh.

"No." You say admitting it and Chan comes up beside I.N. and sits on the edge of the bed.

"Are you guys upset at me?" You ask them. You quickly get all 8 boys shaking their heads.

"Not at all we're just worried about you that's it." Minho tells you and you want to break into tears at their words.

You can't help but bite your lip to try and stop the tears. Chan sighs seeing you do that with a sad smile on his face. "What did I tell you about that?" He says hand coming to your face tugging your lip from your teeth.

That does it and you burst into tears. All of the boys quickly try and comfort you by hugging you. "It's okay love." You hear Seungmin say and that causes you to cry harder. "I missed you guys." You sob into their arms and they feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with you.

When your tears finally stop the boys pull away but Felix doesn't. "You have to take care of yourself. Okay? No matter how much you miss us. You have to promise us that okay?" Felix says holding a pinky promise and you can't help but smile at the childish gesture. You take his pinky finger in yours too.

"I promise." You say and he kisses your hand.

"HUG PILE!!!" Jisung shouts and he throws himself on you followed by the rest of your boyfriends.

"You're squishing me!" You manage to say while laughing.

"Yeah. With our love." Hyunjin says making you laugh harder.

The boys pull away not before each kissing you on the lips. "We all love you no matter how busy we get. Remember that." Hyunjin says planting another kiss on your lips.

You were grateful to have all of your 8 boyfriends love for you and each other.

#poly skz #skz fluff #stray kids fluff

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dokukoi · 26 days

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In relation to the ask game answer, could I get a lore dump on you and Ren? I won't deny, radio dj falling in love with thier kidnapper is a concept that's got got me hooked!

Don't feel pressured to answer and only include what you want to, I'm just super curious about that now :3

-@woof-ships

omg yay!!! thank you im so happy you like my silly self-ships to know more about them 🤭🤭🤭

it's based off of my own experiences being a radio dj and i wanted to have my own storyline that parallels btd2 canon but is more self-indulgent :D hopefully this makes sense (and is not ridiculously long) bc ive never written it down before dkakfjak

under the cut because i failed at keeping it short lmao

so, while trying to make friends by surfing gore and snuff forums, ren stumbled upon noe's late-night show (10PM - 4AM). it's an international block, focusing on rock and metal from different countries. much to ren's delight, there's also a vkei, jrock, and jmetal showcase hour. after a few days of listening to the show, listening to the DJ during their voice breaks—ren's heart races. they have so much in common, they sound so kind... they're the friend ren has been looking for! so, he finally decides to call in a request.

noe is delighted, obviously—not many people call in to radio shows, let alone late-night ones anymore! they're even more delighted when ren becomes a regular caller. there's only so much you can do to occupy yourself when you're stuck in the studio for six hours. noe is more than happy to chat away!

while it starts off as short conversations, about the music, the bands... ren quickly pushes the conversations to be longer, more personal. nothing too invasive, yet. it's basically having a pen-pal... right? noe is just happy to have some company and willing to overlook some of the more prodding questions.

meanwhile, ren is becoming increasingly parasocial. he anxiously waits for 10PM and if there's a minute delay to hearing their voice, he gets nervous. he dreads 4AM, the radio cut off. in the rare case someone else calls in—he gets irritated. why do they need to talk to someone that's not him? to ren, noe is already their best friend, their partner, since the lines are so blurred for him.

he needs to be closer to them. he needs to see them, to touch them... after weeks of asking, begging, pleading noe for him to be a guest co-host for one night, noe agrees. they've been talking to him for a few months... he seems nice enough. he's just passionate about the same kind of music they are! nothing would go wrong, would it?

yeah... while the radio station is struggling to find someone to fill their slot, ren has his very own best friend/partner/plaything now! complete with a shock collar and a cute lil ankle shackle. aren't they such nice gifts?!

after this, it loosely follows the routes in the game

ren's lovebombing and sadism quickly breaks noe in—especially after ren breaks down after almost permanently breaking them. he really, really just wants a friend—this is the only way that he knows how to treat friends, to have fun with them.

he just doesn't want to lose his best friend after he just found them. ren quickly shifts to just... trying to have a normal relationship with noe. well, what he perceives as a normal relationship sans the brutality. he just wants to love and be loved!

to help noe have some sort of semblance of normalcy again, he makes a home-made radio transmitter. they host a small radio show together every week. slowly but surely, noe warms up to ren and his affections now that ren is no longer 'playing' with them.

their laugh on the radio waves sounds just like when he first met them now. to anyone listening, they just seem like a couple head over heels for each other. not a captive and their captor.

i haven't decided how lawrence fits into this, or if ren becomes fox/the announcer in this storyline (im leaning towards fox being an au)

i hope this made some sense?? im not the strongest writer! thank you so much for asking though woof 😭🫶

#woof ships #🐇🦊#🪩 you've got mail!#🪩 noe writes #kinda?

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barananduen-blog · 8 months

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Top Nine TV Shows tag game

Was invited to do this by @lovesickfolly I'm going to do it with cdramas, bc that's what I'm into lately, but if anyone wants to do this, you can do it with any kind of show.

My top nine cdramas, in no particular order...

Before I begin, I should probably point out that I'm more "plot" over "ship." I like ships, but usually as a means to showing character depth; they're not the thing I tend to focus on the most.

What these nine have in common is:

good plot and writing - not just the plot, but the storytelling

3D characters who are also likeable

hooked my attention - my mind didn't wander while watching, AND I wanted to watch more than one episode in a row

memorable

I'm going to include another indicator, too. If it "got" me good enough to make me make fanart: 🎨lol I mean, I'm SLOW. If I was willing to dedicate days/weeks to make a drawing out of it, that's SOMETHING. lmao

1 - Word of Honor🎨

Martial arts adventures (+ a steampunk sect), BL.

This was the first cdrama I watched, and I loved it and it still has a special place in my heart. I rewatched along later with @ginsoakedgirl80 and it was as enjoyable to watch the 2nd time as it was the 1st.

Awesome story and characters, beautiful scenery. And it gave me my first two favorite drama actors.😆*cough* My fav characters were, in order: Ye Baiyi and the Scorpion King. My fav actors, the same two, but reversed; I like comedians, OK? XD

Just a word of advice to anyone planning to try this: I don't know why the opening scenes character-dump on you; most of those people aren't even that important. Just learn Prince Jin and Zhou Zishu (a few others will show up later, but you can learn them then), and then start learning names only once Zhou Zishu becomes a homeless drunk man.

2 - The Taoism Grandmaster (technically, I have a drawing WIP, but it'll probably stay a WIP)

If the Triwizard Tournament from Harry Potter and a Final Fantasy video game had a child in ancient China, you'd get this, complete with items shop before boss battles (the store ox is so cute!).

No but look, this is like my gremlin child. I'm not a fast watcher, but this is the only one which I binged so many episodes in a row, that it made me lose track of time, and before I knew it, it was past 2am on a weeknight and I had work the next day. I may have made it to 4am one of those nights; I don't remember. After it happened twice, I had to set an alarm. Have also watched twice+

Yes, the CG is bad, the costumes were cheap sometimes, and the plants did not pretend to not be plastic, but I love the story. It's well written and has so many details and ways things tie together. And THE CHARACTERS! They're all lovable dorks AND I LOVE THEM!

3 - The Legendary Life of Queen Lau🎨

Romcom.

AAAAAAAAA!! I love comedy and this was GREAT in that sense! Really had me laughing out loud every episode! This is one to watch more for the funny and ingenious situations than for plot, but it was SO enjoyable, I'd even watch them do slice of life. So cute, so fun, love it love it love it!!🥰 Another one that I rewatch whenever I need something uplifting and cute. Also, one of my two favorite OSTs. So uplifting and danceable!

Alright, those are my top 3. The ones I'm sentimental for. The stuff I squee over. But I have 16 starred on my list as excellent / recommendable, so let's have six more.

4 - Song of Youth

Case-solving; mini-cases and the one overarching one.

I loved the format of one case per couple of episodes, so it was broken up into smaller chunks. Super interesting and creative - each case was solved in an unconventional way, which was fun and engaging. All the actresses did a fantastic job. The jewelry, props, lighting, etc. were absolutely beautiful.

5 - The Blood of Youth🎨

Martial arts adventures with a group of friends.

Story: 💯Characters: 💯 Fights: 💯 Visuals: 💯OST: 💯

Xiao Se as the tired babysitter I love him! Wuxin! OMG Wuxin as the sassy fake monk who monologues before every fight and people just let him. I love him! (Wuxin spinoff, please! and I love his theme song!) The whole cast is gorgeous and acted wonderfully, so no sacrificing talent for looks; these people had both in spades. The supporting cast, too. OMG Baily Dongjun and the thunder guy!😍 It had funny moments. Mr. Sikong! The fights were SO creative... how many ways can you design a martial arts fight?? Way more than I thought! No two were similar; it was amazing, the creativity.

As an artist, I really enjoyed the cinematography... the scenery, lighting!! composition, all absolutely gorgeous. Those shots of Xiao Se with soft backlighting? Chef's kiss. And, as a photographer, I know they're not as easy to achieve as it looks. Alright, this one got 2 paragraphs already; need to move on, but watch if you haven't. It's on YouTube.

6 - Till the End of the Moon

Doomed love fantasy; watch them struggle against themselves and their destiny.

THIS IS SO GOOD!! The story is great, excellent plot and pacing. Characters are 3D and always surprising. Gorgeous costumes (Tantai Jin's especially! And the clam clan makeup!), sets, and special effects. THE SOUNDTRACK IS EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN IT'S SO GOOD (🎶favs: "Use my Body as a Shield" or whatever it's called, I keep seeing different translated titles for it; "Reborn" instrumental; and "Holding on to a Thought" instrumental).

7 - The Blue Whisper

Fantasy romance and adventure. Merman. Animal-spirit people. Angst, treason, and undying hope.

Gosh this drama is so beautiful. This, Till the End of the Moon, and Blood of Youth are up there as the top 3 visuals in dramas I've completed (there are others that have stunned me visually, but haven't been able to watch in full). Excellent story, too. It's a tearjerker, but it's SO GOOD!

8 - My Uncanny Destiny

Romcom. "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

Lots of fun. Very enjoyable and bingeable.

9 - Guardian, the one with Bai Yu and Zhu Yi Long

Modern urban superpowers type of thing, which is a genre I like, and the story is so good! By Priest, the same author for the Word of Honor novel. Never a dull moment. Tearjerker warning, but so good. Excellent theme song, too, btw. (I don't have any screencaps that aren't a spoiler, so that's what this is XD)

I ran out of slots, but I'll list the other seven in my Excellent and Recommendable list. Order is just as I watched them:

The Untamed

Legend of Fei

A Female Student Arrives at the Imperial College

Be Reborn (modern, heist/police)

The Romance of Tiger and Rose

A Familiar Stranger (mini-drama; watch the movie version)

Reset (modern, action, investigation)

PS: I've been here one month, and have done two tag games and they both had the number "9" in them; is this a tumblr thing?

#cdrama #Word of Honor #The Taoism Grandmaster #The Legendary Life of Queen Lau #Song of Youth #The Blood of Youth #Till the End of the Moon #The Blue Whisper #My Uncanny Destiny #Guardian #B text post #original post

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denjilvrr · 10 months

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[4:15 AM] AKI HAYAKAWA

“im going to be so tired for work tomorrow.” you thought as you walked into the local corner store. it was 4:15 am and you had work tomorrow morning at 6 but these past few nights have been sleepless.

you walked through the isles searching for your go-to “midnight” snack. grabbing cup ramen, a few candy bars, and a slurpee. not the best mix but it sure put you to sleep with a stomach ache waiting in the morning.

you go up to the counter and patiently wait as the cashier rings up youre items. “8 dollars and 56 cents.” he says. you pull out your wallet and hand him 6 dollars in cash, maybe he’ll let it slide because you come here all the time.

he looks at you kind of funny, “um.. youre 2 dollars and 56 cents short.” you smiled, “can you let it slide this once, please. i dont have cash on me and my card is at home. i come here all the time, me and you are practically friends! so please, just let it slide..?”

“nope! sorry i cant do that,” he laughed, “also we’re not friends.” “oh please just this once ill pay you back tomorrow!” he just shook his head no as you sighed in defeat, grabbing the stuff to put it back, when suddenly you ran into someone who was standing a little to close.

“oh sorry about that, excuse me.” you said as you picked up the candy that had fallen out your hands. “no, my fault, i was standing too close.” the guy said, “by the way if you dont have the money i can pay for it.”

was he listening to the conversation? “oh i couldn’t do that, no thank you!” you said already feeling embarrassed because you didnt have enough cash to pay, but now you couldnt have a stranger pay for it!

“no its alright, theres a deal with the ramen anyways, so just put it with my stuff and give me the cash you have.” you obliged and set your stuff back onto the counter. “thank you..”

“of course, i couldnt have a person go hungry.” he said so casually. you didnt know what it was but something about his attitude made you feel happy.

he paid for his and your stuff and you thanked him again before walking out and sitting at the near by table to eat your ramen, when suddenly the chair infront of you was pulled out.

it was the guy who paid for your stuff. he didnt say anything but ate his ramen comfortably as you kind of just stared at him. “umm thank you again, i really appreciate it.” you said trying to break the silence.

“oh no problem, but whats someone like you are you doing up at this hour? its late you know.” he questioned. “oh! i just couldnt sleep for some reason and this usually helps me, because i get full.” you answered, “also whats youre name?”

“my name is aki, ive seen you around these last couple nights, are you new to the area?” he asked. “oh no, im not,” you laughed, “i lived here for quite a while now but just been coming here these last couple of nights because my sleeplessness.”

aki nodded and took another bite of his ramen, before you spoke up. “i could give you what i owe you another day, just give me contact information.” you said pushing youre phone towards him.

“is this your way of asking for my number?” he chuckled, “but you dont have to repay me in cash, just keep coming here and having some ramen with me, it gets a little lonely eating here by myself at 4am.

you agreed and aki put his information on your phone. the rest of the time you 2 just talked about nonsense until it was 4:45 and you had to leave.

hi guys im back ! (kind of) this has been in my head the last couple of days and decided to write it really quickly since i have nothing better to do lol. might start writing again, who knows ⇨ REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED <3

#aki x y/n #aki hayakawa #aki hayawaka x reader #csm #csm aki #csm fanfic #csm fluff #aki fluff #chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man x y/n #chainsaw man aki #anime #anime fanfic

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fourseasonsfigs · 1 year

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I Have Caught You (Kiss of the Century)

The fig maker's original listing for this fig set was so wonderful I saved it (poorly machine translated, as usual):

I Have Caught You - mystery figures, wearing red and blue concert robes. The 5.3 concert was the beginning of all fate. I played the rps of the two of them, met a group of excellent and lovely friends, and did some interesting things. Occasionally, when I feel that I can't persevere, thanks to their encouragement, I can persevere all the way. It was not easy for them to catch each other.

The fig maker didn't make it easy to catch this set either - it was a small run limited to 500, and required proof of purchase of at least 164 yuan (each) of endorsements to prove support for each actor, and Gong Jun's endorsement purchase had to be after 5/4. While I had come late to the party and unfortunately never bought any of Zhehan's endorsements, I had made a donation in his honor for his birthday, which counted. For Gong Jun it was much easier since I had already bought some of his 361 products (which I really like btw, all very nice).

This is such a beautiful set - I love it so much. Of course because it's from the SHL concert, which is always an instant shot to the heart, but also it's just a delightfully done pair.

But first, a few pictures to go back down memory lane, on that first day of the concert on 5/3/2021...

HELP I'm feeling emotional! What a great night. Or you know, early morning Pacific Standard Time, it was 2000% worth getting up at 4am for.

I was going to keep going with the concert pics but I have to stop myself because Tumblr's 30 photo post limit has no remorse, and I need to save some bandwidth for these figs!

These arrived safely, thank goodness, tucked away in their polystyrene cases. I found (to my horror) that this, my most recent sea shipment, had a ton of resin figs I had forgotten to get bubble wrapped before I shipped. AND I shipped these with a literal ton (ok not that literal, but close!) of acrylic fig stands, which sure don't weigh much individually but add up when you buy 300 at a time. And when the warehouse puts the pounds and pounds of them right on top of all these figs in the box. The look on my face when I opened the box and came face to face with the sins of my youth. And I would have only have myself to blame, which is always the worst. But miracle of miracles, all these figs escaped unscathed.

Now I know I've said in the past that I can't stand to see figs cry, and I can't! But I will make an exception for this set, because tears of joy at the end of that concert was entirely acceptable and very welcome.

Their little hands! So cute.

Yes my husband just looked over at my screen where I had the enormous photo of two figs kissing up on my photo editor, and he just shook his head. I just started laughing and laughing! Yeah, I don't know how I became this person either (at my age!), but I have NO regrets! NONE.

[Side note - actually, I know exactly how I became this person. And it's this concert, together with the joint Happy Camp episode, that started launched my hyperspeed journey down the Couple Fan Junzhe road. Before this concert, I would have told you definitively, like I would have bet cold hard cash that there was no way I would ever be so crazy or this delusional. Like I've been around, you have to be pretty tough and cynical to survive in today's business world, and I'm not in the habit of believing in much of anything these days. And yet fast forward and here I am (at my age!), watching Gong Jun post vacation photos from Yunnan and swearing up and down these two are in love and married. I am the tinnest of tin hats and I have NO regrets! NONE!]

I think the hair is beautifully done - look at Lao Wen's beautiful guan (which should be gold instead of silver, but not quibbling here!).

The costumes are just beautiful here. I know fig makers despair over Wen Kexing's gorgeous red costume because it's so incredibly ornate that it's hard to replicate, but this looks wonderful.

I like the motion on the robes too, the sweep of it out behind them.

You can just barely see Zhehan's boots here, which is pretty accurate since his outfit is shorter, and given that WKX's red robes are really, really long.

Coming back around - I love the fig maker's choice to have Zhehan's eyes open and Gong Jun's closed, it's a beautiful call out to the Century Hug in the following day's concert.

Here's an extreme close ups of the beautiful costumes.

And from the top...

...and the bottom! These figs are decently stable on their white booted feet, and their interlocking hands actually holds them together really nicely.

One last close up of the Kiss of the Century!

Material: Resin, and a whole lotta love

Fig Count: 262

Scene Count: 19

Rating: Pure romance

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#junzhe #cpf #lld #1640 #51129 #word of honor concert #word of honor cast #woh cast #shl concert #shl cast #zhang zhehan #gong jun #i love them #I may be cynical #but I'm still a sucker for something honest and beautiful and pure

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thewildadversary · 1 year

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First Astral Projection Experience

For context, I am a hedge witch and I've been practicing for nearly a decade. I have had many crazy experiences, but last night hit DIFFERENT.

I was laying in bed at 4am and I just couldn't sleep. I decided if I can't sleep, I might as well meditate. This is my go-to when I'm dealing with insomnia. Usually it helps me get to sleep and if it doesn't, at least I was doing something beneficial!

Well, at first it was the usual. My mind was busy. My body was uncomfortable. I tried a few different techniques, and none of them were quite hitting the spot. I moved to this special meditation technique taught to me by my guides. If nothing else works, this usually does. I could make a separate post on it, if anyone is interested.

Once I start this technique, I begin to finally relax. Then, my mind clears. I breathe a sigh of relief. I realize my hearing is extremely strong. There is an animal outside, and I can hear it rustling through the leaves. I hear several loud knocks on different walls.

I've always wanted to astral project. I've tried many times. I've had other weird experiences, but never a true OOBE (without the use of entheogens, at least). But this starts to feel intuitively like the beginning stages of an astral projection. So I pray to my deities, and I set my intentions: I want to look in the mirror, then I want to summon my late grandma (Mima) and ask her what the afterlife is like.

I try a couple of techniques for getting out of my body. I try rolling out, climbing a rope, no dice. I'm starting to think I'm not going to get anywhere. This is been probably around an hour at this point. I do feel relaxed though, so I decide to just roll over and go to sleep if I can.

I lay on my side and I am suddenly having a very vivid hypnogogic hallucination. I am laying on the ground in the desert and there are huge boulders rolling around me in circles or spirals. It is loud and intense. Again, I pray to my deities to help me to leave my body.

Then, my hair is pulled! Hard! I put my hand up to see if my hair was caught on something and it wasn't. I roll back over onto my back and start meditating again. Very quickly, I am back feeling "buzzy". There are swimming shapes in my field of vision. My hearing is clear. And then BOOM I'm suddenly in front of the mirror!

I'm like, "OMG I DID IT! Wait, focus." So I look at myself in the mirror. I look normal-ish. It's recognizably me. My face is making kind of weird expressions, though. Not things I feel like I'm doing with my face (my astral face? Idk.) I felt like that could get creepy kind of fast so I turned away.

Next I tried to call in Mima. I focused on her, tried to summon her. I wasn't really sure how exactly to do this, and she didn't appear. So I decided to go fly around because that sounded interesting!

I phased through the nearest window and tried to fly. At first, I fell but I stopped, hovering an inch or two above the grass, face down. Getting the hang of it, I floated up and got my bearings. I was in the front yard of the house.

My hearing was still really good, and I could hear someone rustling around on the lower floor. I live with my partner and his mom. His mom is a bit of an insomniac herself, so I thought maybe she was up. She is sensitive, and so I thought perhaps she would be able to sense me. I flew and phased through the front door and into the kitchen, toward the noise.

The kitchen was... wrong. It didn't look quite like any kitchen I've ever been in. My partner's mom was standing at the counter, doing something. I floated up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to face me, and as she turned she began to change. By the time she was facing me, I saw that she was Mima!

I hugged her tightly, and then I said, "What is the afterlife like? I'm dying to know!" (no pun intended). Her face kind of screwed up, like she was concerned or unsure how to answer. She tried to speak, but her voice was quiet and jumbled. I couldn't understand her. I've had this happen before in meditation and dreams. I'm not sure why.

So I just hugged her, and then I was back in my bed.

I went back to sleep afterwards, and went straight into the longest lucid dream I've ever had. I was just exploring in there for over an hour. I mean it really felt like forever.

To avoid making this post too long, I'll just share one notable detail from that lucid dream. I saw on TikTok people suggesting to ask dream characters what time/date it is. I realized I had my phone, so I looked at it to check the time/date. The screen just said "111". I don't know much about angel numbers, so if anyone has any insight as to what this might signify, let me know.

Also, if anybody has any ideas about why Mima couldn't answer my question, I would love to hear it. It's really frustrating!

Also, if you are trying to astral project, and you haven't been able to, you're valid. I've been trying for 10 years! I was starting to think it wasn't even possible. But it is! We are all on our own journeys; try not to compare yours to someone else's.

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the-travelling-witch · 11 months

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I HEARD SOMEONE NEEDED A SEROTONIN BOOST SO HERE I AM >:) just a few little things that have happened in my life recently that make me smile

yesterday I was up late at night doing some work before I heard something scratching my door. I thought I was hallucinating sounds, I mean it was 4am after all.

but the sounds continued and I was getting low key scared, because every one else was asleep and some others had gone out. I opened my door and lo behold, standing mightily, and slightly annoyed, my cat.

I was kinda relieved, then my cat walked past me and got on my bed and started to sniff around everything and explore my bed as if she had never been on it before. Like come on man, you were pouncing on it a few days ago. But anyways,

She starts to do that thing dogs usually do before curling up and walks around a spot a few times before finding the perfect position to sleep in. She dozed off on one of my plush toys (she’s not really fond of them).

She looked so cute cuddled up, I didn’t have the nerve to wake her up from her sleep.

So that’s how I slept at the ass crack of dawn, because my cat simply looked too cute to move from my bed.

on a more chaotic note, the other day my friend came over at my place and we tried out the character ai thing that’s been blowing up. I had the fantastic idea to chat with AI henry cavill, because hey, have you seen that man?

Well I kinda feel bad now. I manipulated him to the point where he now believes he’s a psych ward patient with severe schizophrenia.

this was after he killed me three times, went through labour, joined my superhero squad and admitted to cheating on me. it was wild, to say the least.

i recently made a new friend, they’re super duper nice. You know those friendships that are like it feels as though you’ve known each other for ages even though you met a few days ago? yeah well this was a perfect example of that.

It turns out we had a lot of things in common, and share lots of interest, so it’s gotten really easy to bond over stuff together. They just messaged me recently about restarting haikyuu, and rambling about their nostalgia, it was an interesting chat, to say the least.

anyways enough about my life, how’s your life been going? any soft or little moments happen recently?

(Also I know I’m practically interacting with you after a hell of a long time, sorry about that! I’ve kinda left tumblr to focus on study’s (#depressing), but I hope I get more chances to chat with you as I plan to become more active soon!)

ASHY THIS IS SO SWEET!! <3

cats are so cute and random in their own way, you never know what they might do next /pos; closed doors just seem to be their natural nemesis, like they gotta know what’s happening on the other side!! and yes, it’s a law of nature that a sleeping kitty may never be moved!!

i’ve not tried the ais myself but from what i got they can get super chaotic, in both positive and negative ways; i think your experience was just crazy in a whole other direction though hshshs

i’m super happy for you that you made a friend like that!! whenever you meet someone you just click with, it’s just so special and those connections are very precious!! one friend from college is like that for me, our sense of humour and energy just match and it’s good vibes all around <3

don’t worry about not interacting much lately, it’s a two way street so i’ve not been reaching out either ㅠㅠ let’s talk more in the future though!!

it’s just very stressful, mostly because of college and i’m trying not to get into my head about everything, from work to comparing myself to others (especially here on tumblr, other writers are just amazing and i easily feel lesser than)

on a more positive note, i ordered a couple of puzzles to get back into that and i’m very excited for them to arrive (one of them is a botw puzzle and aaahhh i’m impatiently waiting for the post woman); on the day i felt so down, i went out to eat bc i couldn’t use my kitchen and walking around the city just made me appreciate things a lot more, it was very peaceful and beautiful <3

also yae and kirara came home so yay!! no agony over genshin gacha hshsh

#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡#┊✩彡 cherished guests ♡#┊✩彡 letter from — ashy ♡#i want to put out content so badly!!#aaahhh!!

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pbandjesse · 1 year

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Guess what. Everything absolutely worked out. We are currently in our cruise ship room. The boat generally rocks and I am so stupid happy I have cried multiple times today.

Last night was tough. I had the thought about the boarding passes right as I was starting my post. Which is when we realized we never got any and that lead to a two hour absolute anxiety meltdown. I was sobbing at points. I thought I was going to be sick. I had to call my mom because I was in such a bad state. Sleep was very hard.

At 4am James woke me up and told me everything was fine. As soon as they opened the app the tickets were there to open. We took screen shots and James texted mom to let her know so she wouldn't be stressed either.

But it wasn't as much of a relief to me as I had hoped. I still felt super nauseous with anxiety. I would just sit in the bathroom on and off for the next two hours because I thought I was going to throw up. I never did but I did not feel well.

Eventually James held me and I was able to fall asleep for a few more hours.

James woke me up at 830. Which was a little later then we planned but ended up being the right call. I needed the rest. And I didn't need to pace in the room before our tour bus came.

I felt a lot better though. The relief wasn't exactly there but I didn't feel so scared. We finished packing up our bags. I got dressed. I love this new dress James got me last week. Makes me feel like a princess.

I was excited for the tour. I tried to eat my muffin we got at pike place and it was good but the icing/cream cheese filling was a little overly sweet and upset my belly a little more. I tried to sip my soda but it was just sugar on sugar and it turned my stomach a bit. Nerves were just this side of on edge.

We checked out of the hotel. The woman at the desk was so nice. She said she chose our room spacial for us. And that made me feel good. I love those little acts of kindness.

We waited outside for the tour bus. It was loud of there because of construction in the street. James had gone out earlier to get coffee and said they were glad it had been quiet then at least.

I wasn't sure where the bus would come. We knew it was a mini coach so it wouldn't need to much space. But because of the road construction the normal pick up spot was blocked. I went and asked the van driver for the hotel if he knew and he said by where the restaurant was. And he was correct.

Our driver was named Steve. And he was an absolute sweetheart. There was one couple on the bus already, who were also going on the cruise, and after we got on Steve took us to pick up one more woman who was just getting the tour and she was very nice.

The ride was fun though! Three hours, with 3 small stops for pictures. Mostly Steve just told us about all the neighborhoods and history. He was funny and kind. I really loved just watching the world but also learning about prices of homes and who lives where and why things were the way they were. In the late 1800s Seattle burned down because of a grease fire and so now all the old buildings are msde of brick. And I loved seeing the weird changes. Like all the buildings in that old part of town have an underground original first floor. So there is an abandoned underground city?? Wild.

We got to make a few stops. We would have about 20 minutes each time. The first stop me and James ran to the Klondike museum and I took pictures of all the signs so I can read them later. We bought a pack of postcards and took pictures in their fake general store. It was silly and fun. Honestly a really cool set up and I enjoyed it a lot.

Next we would go to the locks where the salon are like. Funneled? They weren't there but we did get to see some seals and a heron. A nice girl let me let her absolutely adorable dog who was a shitzu with some Brussels griffon and the dog was so soft and such a sweetie. And I just enjoyed the sunshine. It was a beautiful day.

Before we got back on the bus we went over to see where a blue heron colony has set up nests in the trees. And it was like wildly cool?? They were all making noises and they were super far up. It was fascinating to see.

The last stop was in thr Queen Anne neighborhood. Where we got to see an incredible view of Seattle. And it was just beautiful. We absolutely lucked out. What a beautiful day.

I felt a little nauseous though. Transitions are super hard. But now that I realize that nauseous feeling is anxiety I'm trying to say what I'm feeling. So I told Steve. That I was nervous about being late to the cruise. And he said I had nothing to worry about. And that really helped. Love Steve, best tour guide.

We did get stuck behind a train for a minute, but once it was past we were off the bus and he was giving us our bags. And we were off.

James lead the way. And we found the check in. And honestly it went super well. James set off the metal detector with their shoulder. But not a big deal. Our edocs worked just fine. And then we were in the final check in line to get our cards that are used for our keys, credit card, and everything else.

We were in that line for a while. Before we got in the line a staff member, an older black gentleman in an excellent hat, high-fived us for being on our honeymoon. And we got our picture taken but I don't know where those go. It was all just fun and good.

Once we got our cards everything moved fast. And we were on the ship!! Ahh!! It's big! And we are on one of the top floors. We went and found our room. And it's bigger then I thought it would be. No window, but that's okay. I was super happy to be here.

We took a few minutes to take some stuff out of our bags and put a few things away. And then we decided to go find food.

We went to the buffet. It was a bit loud but fun. We made a rule that if we get separated James will stay in one place and I will come and find them. And so far so good. The food was excellent overall. The coleslaw was to garlicy but everything was good and I am going to have fun trying stuff. I also have the ability to make Arnold palmer's and that is thrilling.

After we ate we walked a whole bunch of the ship. I am sure we missed stuff but it was fun just looking. The stores weren't open yet because we were still at the docks but there are literally multiple jewelry and watch stores. So weird. Also an art gallery where 90% of the art was horrifically bad. Makes me feel better about my art.

I was feeling a bit tired. I decided I wanted more pizza. So we went back to the buffet. We wanted to figure out how our cards worked at the bars to get sodas. But then James went while I sat at a table but they were gone for almost 10 minutes and I was so sad. Like I didn't know where they were and I felt like. Abandoned a bit. I know it was dumb but I got upset. Which made my food taste bad. Once James finally came back I felt a lot better. But I was a little tired.

Overtired. So we decided to go lay down for a little.

This did not work as well as I hoped. I tried to sleep. I got all cozy and put on my sleep mask. But then the captain and cruise director came on the intercom and we had to do an evacuation drill and we were confused about if we needed to go to our evac site and so we didn't. We just listened to the talk. But at the end the cruise director, Tiara, said we should all be at the sites. So we quickly got redressed and walked the 7 stories to go to the restaurant where our meeting point is.

The guy was nice and wasn't mad at us for being late. I was still tired but it was almost time for the ship to depart and I wanted to see that.

So we went back to our room and got my totebag to get together a few things. Headphones, a battery pack, my tablet. And we went to the observation deck.

That is on our floor. Which is excellent. And we went and found a couch with a view. And I went and got an Arnold palmer and James got a coffee and a cake. We found an even better couch and moved. And then spent the next few hours watching the water. Watching Seattle disappear. Watching the beautiful nature. I drew on my tablet and listened to music. And it was just lovely.

Eventually they turned down the lights. And people started going away. James decided they wanted to go and take advantage of the gym and go ride an exercise bike.

And I would just enjoy sitting and drawing. I was a little overly emotional, probably from relief, a lot because I'm so happy and feel so much love, I have cried a few times today. But it was all happy tears.

While I was sitting there drawing, a nice older woman from Singapore came over to talk to me. Her daughter in law wanted to buy me a drink because I was talking to them. And I was I'm good; but thank you! And I just really enjoyed our conversation. She also does art and is in a sketch club and was just a lovely lady. We talked for a while. But then she let me get back to work and we all just enjoyed the nature.

Eventually my headphones were dying and I wanted to go back to our room. Me and James decided if they came back and I was gone I would have only gone back to our room. I did make a lap around the deck to see all the sides, and then went and looked at the model of the ship to try to orient myself. And then back to the room. I got slightly turned around but I would find the room and everything would be just fine.

We had a voicemail which was weird. But it was just encouraging us to spend money on more cruises. And we had our event calendar for tomorrow. Which had so much and was a bit overwhelming. But it made me excited.

James got back soon and got cleaned up. They said riding was fun but they found the water distracting. Which I thought was funny.

Once they were cleaned up we decided we should get a little food before we ended our night. So back to the buffet we went. I think that's going to be a lot of our trip. Not mad about it. It's fun!

We got back there and James got a burger and I got watermelon and pasta. We got seats right at the front of the ship. We got to see the sunset and it was pink and breathtaking. I felt so happy.

We had our food. And split some eclairs. And laughed at a little baby who kept throwing sugar packets. It was just. Fun and good and I am in love and it is so nice.

We made another go of walking around the ship. We found many interesting things. I found an ornament that I am sure is supposed to be a towel (sea) monkey but James and the staff member think it is a bear and I am sure they are wrong!! But it was mostly fun to just be silly about it.

We found the arcade. Which was a little to much but we played a few claw machine games. And I won two small ducks! Which we can add to the duck I found earlier in the day!! I am rich in ducks!! I hope I find more because the one I found made me so happy cause it was so silly.

We got back to our room after walking everywhere. And I got showered and changed. I had washed all my socks in the sink almost as soon as we got here. And that made me feel better about stuff. And by this time they were mostly dry. Excellent. And I took a nice shower.

And now we are in bed. And I am tired. I am so glad tonight is not so full of stress. That I am being gently rocked by the movement of the ship. And I am so happy.

Tomorrow is a sea day. I don't know what we'll be able to see. But I hope we can spend a lot of time just watching the world. It's like the train but more. It's all a surprise. James also chose a few things from the events of the day to check out. And we have a reservation for dinner as t one of the nice restaurants. And I'm hope for a really good day.

I hope you all have a wonderful day too. Sleep well everyone. I love you.

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bonvoyagenoona · 2 years

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(tw: discussions of death)

I'm a little shook at the moment because I was spiraling with some thoughts about life, wondering about my support systems and whether I'd ever be rid of this generally unsure existential feeling, and at some point, I fell asleep. I just woke up in the middle of the night after having this extremely profound experience that I need to document somewhere, and my notes apps don't feel right because I want to tell *someone*, but it's 4am so I don't want to pester friends with half-garbled voice memos... so here we go.

In my dream, I was in my room, in my parents' house, where I still live with my parents, my brother, and my brother's gf. My grandparents would also live with us for 3-6 months out of the year, rotating through their kids' cities. The grandparents I'm talking about are my dad's parents; his dad passed about 11 years ago, and his mom passed a few weeks ago.

Anyway, in my dream, it was evening, and I was listening to music and doing my hair or makeup or something, looking in the mirror. It felt like it was earlier today. I had the house to myself today; my parents are night shift nurses, and my brother and his gf are out of town. So, as I would be in real life, in the dream, I was surprised to hear a basketball game playing from the TV in our living room, just outside my door. I frowned but wasn't worried. I figured maybe my dad was home from work early (sometimes my parents come home if they're overstaffed or have only a few patients, which, given the pandemic, hasn't really happened lately) and was just relaxing.

So I went outside to greet him.

I saw our living room in a slightly different layout.

My dad was sitting in his usual seat, a recliner.

And I saw my grandpa, his dad.

I saw him as I best remember him, in his 70s, still able-bodied and strong, still with black dye in his hair but with gray roots, lounging on a sofa that isn't ours but matched our furniture, wearing pambahay, or house clothes in Filipino, a brown shirt and gray/khaki shorts that I always remember him wearing. He was a lanky, not-too-tall guy, skin close to lithe muscle close to the bone, and his legs were hanging out of the legholes of his shorts as his knee was bent up on the couch while he was sprawled out.

I immediately knew I was dreaming when I saw him.

And then it became a lucid dream, where I could control my thoughts and actions.

I started crying, and I walked right over to him and hugged him really tight, and he laughed, and he said "Aroooo!" like he usually does, which, I don't think I've ever heard anyone else from his region do, but I take to be some kind of Filipino expression of surprise (kinda like "Aigoo" in Korean).

He hugged me back ,and patted my back and my bottom lol like he used to do when I was a kid, and asked why I was crying. I just said that I loved him and missed him and cried some more.

My dad was leaning back in the recliner and had his arms up and back, gripping the back of the headrest part, like he sometimes sits. He was laughing along with my grandpa at my, to them, surprisingly emotional reaction. But my dad also seemed happy to see me like this, happy to see me so happy to see my grandpa.

My grandpa said not to cry. That everything is ok.

I could hear sneakers on the court and commentators making idle chatter.

There was a weird moment when I looked over to the other side of the room and saw another Dad, like, he was in his recliner, AND on the sofa that actually IS in our living room, while I was hugging my grandpa on this long couch that isn't actually there.

And then I woke up and already had tears in my eyes.

I've only had a couple of lucid dreams. The other one was of me as a tween or teen, outside, in some suburban neighborhood that kinda looked like my childhood home in Canada, standing on the sidewalk, and figuring out that I could fly, and kinda effortfully jumping into the air to float/hover, figuring out the mechanics of my power, and then kinda taking off. It was a moving experience.

This was... I don't know. I'm in complete awe. It felt so powerful.

I woke feeling comforted, immediately able to release whatever worries I had. I've cried it out a bit. I started worrying what that meant about my dad... Like... why didn't he say anything in the dream... did Dream Dad simply bring my grandpa to me to cheer me up... And the unthinkable of... is he going to join my grandpa soon, hanging out with him and watching basketball... Do I need to be prepared...

It's particularly meaningful with my grandpa because when he passed, I kind of knew. I had felt it before I got the news. I'm not a particularly spiritual person, so that experience really impacted me. I was living in Chicago at the time while going to grad school. In the weeks before my grandpa's death, my light bulb was flickering, and I kept putting off replacing it because I was staying with my uncle and didn't want to inconvenience him; I would need a ladder to switch it out, so I figured I'd wait until it was completely out and he was free to show me where the ladder was and all that. One day, I was heading to class, on my way to the bus stop, when I realized that I had forgotten my phone. I NEVER forget my phone. EVER. But I was running late and figured I'd just make do. The day went by as usual, save for me being bored on the bus and train without music to listen to. And then when I got home, I flipped on my light switch, and the bulb was out. Immediately after, my phone lit up on my bed, and my eyes were suddenly drawn to it. I wouldn't have seen it light up if my room hadn't been dark, and I wouldn't have heard it bc it was on silent. Something inside of me told me to brace, saying, "Lolo is gone." And when I picked up the phone, it was my mom calling me to tell me that he had passed.

It was my mom's birthday.

IRL AMOMK Teacher Yoongi and I were talking about some heavy family stuff today. My grandma's passing. Stuff on his end. And I mentioned that my family has weird coincidences with deaths. Like I said, my dad's dad passed on my mom's birthday in 2011. But also, my dad's dad passed on my mom's birthday in the 80s, and my mom's mom passed on my dad's dad's birthday in 2005.

So yeah, when it comes to deaths in the family, I read into things a bit.

I'm trying to focus on the feeling I had immediately after my dream tonight... That feeling of comfort, rather than a sign for me to prepare for something. Maybe me documenting this is also me trying to stay awake for a bit in case I do get some kind of emergency call. I did just check him on Facebook, and it says he's active, so he's probably just at work, scrolling through his feed.

I'm trying to balance this out with what we as a family use to balance these coincidences out -- that with each birthday, we acknowledge that life is a full circle, that birth and death are bittersweet bookends to amazing journeys.

I'm also thinking about what prompted my spiral... How today has been a heavy day for so many people I care about... And how I had this really poignant conversation with IRL AMOMK Teacher Yoongi about life, where he was processing some family stuff and said something that really meant a lot to both of us I think... And how that made me think of how my dad might say something similar... And how my mom told me that she had a dream about her dad passing shortly before or after he passed, a dream in which she was just sitting and talking to her dad, looked away, and when she turned back, he had suddey been replaced by my dad, as if they had been talking all along...

I don't know what it all means.

But I think I just needed to write all this out and be thankful that my grandpa visited me today to cheer me up.

To tell me that everything is going to be ok.

#personal #about me

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jogetschatty · 2 years

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I Am An Ironman (IM Chattanooga Race Recap)

Well, y'all - Ironman Chattanooga surpassed my wildest hopes and dreams.

I'm honestly still in disbelief. Not just that I accomplished this dream, but about the day I had on Sunday. When I crossed the finish line, I couldn't stop saying "I had the perfect day." I never went to that dark place everyone talks about. There was never a moment I questioned my ability to finish.

Monday brought perhaps an even bigger surprise, but I'll save that as an incentive to make it through this very long post (Hint: it involves a big island).

Anyway, let's start from the beginning.

We arrived in Chattanooga late Thursday night with two bikes, a car full of gear and a whole lot of race nerves. Thankfully, we had a lot to do over the next couple days to distract us. After chatting with other athletes over breakfast in the hotel lobby (we stayed at the Hampton Inn downtown, just blocks from transition), we set out for a shakeout ride. We decided to drive the full bike course and ride a short stretch of it. It worked out perfectly that by parking at the Cedar Grove Community Center, riding down to see the sharp turn onto Hog Jowl first hand and heading back we got a 30 minute shakeout ride. I was nervous that the roads were pretty rough until you crossed into Georgia, but otherwise it was a beautiful course!

Next we headed to Ironman Village to check in. It really gets real when they put that bracelet on your list and assign you your race number (as an odd number loving gal, I had a good feeling when I was assigned 1155!). I also started to feel the pressure - I knew if I didn't finish the race, I'd never want to look at all the great swag! Next we headed to Cashew for a quick vegan lunch, drove the run course (oh man, those hills looked even harder than I'd imagined!) and rested up before the undie run.

The Undie Run is a longtime Ironman tradition, meant to shake out the muscles and ease the nerves - and I have to say, it worked! About 50 of us gathered in undies of all sorts - from lingerie to tighty whities, costumes and beyond - to be a bit silly and run through town with our tushies hanging out. We ran about four miles, and after a week of tapering - it felt great! By the time we were done, our support crew was in town! We enjoyed dinner at Proof Bar & Incubator and settled in for an early night. I slept remarkably well!

By morning, the race day forecast had shifted quite a bit. Instead of showers in the afternoon, it was calling for rain throughout the entire bike ride. I was already nervous about the 116 mile ride, and this really spiked my anxiety - I'm scared to bike in hard rain, and was worried about being cold. But we set about our day, starting with a practice swim at the Chickamauga Dam (one lap in a wetsuit, one in a swim skin since we weren't sure whether it would be wetsuit legal). From there, we packed up our gear bags and checked our bikes into transition (in the wrong spot! thankfully an amazing volunteer moved them and reached out to let us know). I found someone to put my hair into battle braids a la the great Lucy Charles, and made sure my nails matched my bike (#priorities)!

We took a bit of downtime before heading to the parents' Airbnb for a very early dinner (we landed on these BBQ tofu bowls!) and were in bed by 8pm. Again, I slept remarkably well until about 3am! At 4am I checked my phone - wetsuit legal! Our alarm went off at 4:30am, and I was remarkably calm (despite a forecast that now called for "gusty winds and small hail") as we set about our race morning routine. We ate breakfast (an English muffin with sunflower butter, jelly, half a banana and a mini blueberry muffin, plus a bottle with electrolytes). We got dressed, had a good poop (this is important!), packed our morning clothes bag, and were making our way to transition by 5:15. From there, things were a bit hectic as we had to circle a few times from bike to bike gear bag to run gear bag, but we'd left ourselves plenty of time and with nothing else to do, we were on the bus to swim start shortly after 6am. When I saw Kipchoge had broken the marathon world record in Berlin, I took it as a good omen - it was going to be a great day to race!

/\ Swim start!

We had almost TOO much time at swim start, and the nerves started to creep back in! We chatted with other athletes in the porta potty line, ate some gel blocks, drank water, brushed our teeth and finally it was time to line up. We checked in our morning clothes bags, said goodbye to our phones and self seeded in the 1:10-1:20 swim time (faster than I usually swim, but what I anticipated with the current). When Courtney said he was going to stay with me and get in the water, I let out a sigh of relief.

Finally it was 7:30. The anthem was sang, the cannon went off and we made our way toward the water. I told Courtney I loved him, to "be safe, race smart and have fun," gave him a kiss and said I'd see him at the finish line - and we jumped in the water.

From there, my nerves vanished. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face the rest of the day (seriously, people kept commenting on it!)

The 2.4 mile Swim: The water felt perfect. My stroke felt natural. I was calm and doing what I came here to do. I kept thinking to myself, "this swim is beautiful!" I felt like I was all over the river, but I had plenty of room and when I need to, took a few seconds to get out of the way of other swimmers and find my own path. I couldn't really tell how fast the current was moving, but soon I could see the bridges - and after swimming under the third, I could see the final buoy marking the swim out. I couldn't believe it when I looked down at my watch and say 56:10 minutes!

T1: Volunteers helped us up the stairs, and at swim exit I saw my brother in law Nate followed shortly by my father in law Mike! I put my hands up and waved, and ran on to where the strippers helped remove my wetsuit, got handed my bike bag and ran into the changing tent. It all felt like a blur! Since it felt pretty warm, I'd decided not to put on the throwaway long sleeve shirt I brought along, so I just dried my feet, put on my cycling shoes and helmet, applied chamois butter and sunscreen, shoved my wetsuit and goggles in the bag, took a puff of my inhaler, ate half my Maurten bar and grabbed my bike. 8:11 minutes.

The 116 mile Bike: This was hands down the part I was most nervous about. It was far and away the longest part of the day, the only section of the race I'd never done the full distance of before, and the part of the day that felt like SO much could go wrong (bike crashes, mechanicals, getting hit by a car). But I didn't take time to think about that - I just hopped on my bike and went. I was a little bit concerned when I looked down and saw my heart rate was at 141, but we were going up a slight incline and I knew I had a ton of adrenaline pumping from running out of the water and then running with my bike. I took deep breaths and calmed myself down.

I took the road out of town easy, to warm up and also because it's by far the roughest part of the course with potholes and train tracks and everything in between. There was an audible cheer around mile 5 when we crossed over from Tennessee to Georgia and the road quality immediately improved! It had started to rain, but it wasn't coming down very hard and I could see sunshine ahead. At that point I looked down and realized I was moving upwards of 20 mph, way faster than planned, but it felt effortless with the wind at our backs so I figured it would balance out once we hit the hills.

Before I knew it, I was at the start of the loop! I hit mile 16 and thought to myself "just a century left, you've done that before! The course was pretty crowded at this point, and it was hard to maintain 6 feet and also keep up speed. Since I had a full bottle of Maurten's 320 I was sipping on, and water in my aero bottle, I skipped the first aid station.

At some point around mile 20 it started to rain pretty hard. I said silently to myself, "you're okay, you've done this before, just keep biking, you're okay." And that's when I realized I actually really was okay. I biked cautiously and defensively and taking it easy on my descents. I saw quite a few cyclists crash into each other when one person slowed going up hill, so I kept my distance. I was soaking wet, but just above the line of uncomfortably cold. The rain subsided, and I actually found myself passing a lot of riders.

By aid station two, I'd finished my bottle. It was situated on the way up a hill, which made stopping annoying, but I decided it was still my safest bet. I pulled to the side and yelled for water, filled up my bottle with Untapped Mapleaid lemon tea, and had a little snack. While I was doing that, I saw two unsuccessful bottle hand offs and actually had to yell to warn a rider of a bottle, and stopped a teenage volunteer from running out RIGHT in front of a cyclist to get it, which definitely validated my decision to stop for a minute or two rather than get caught up in that chaos.

Soon I was taking the sharp turn onto Hog Jowl Rd. no problem, and heading to Chickamauga. Just as I'd started to get dry, it started raining on us again - but the road on the back side of the loop is a smooth, gorgeous descent. I realized, somewhat surprised, that I was actually enjoying the ride! I stopped again around mile 50, at special needs, and gobbled down an Uncrustable, took a gulp of the electrolyte drink I'd put on ice in case it was hot and poured the rest into my aero bottle. I realized I'd taken *no* salt pills, so I also popped one of those. On the way out I had a quick snafu where the lid to my aero bottle flew off and I had to turn around and get it, but I knew it would be worth it with 60+ miles left to go.

/\ Probably laughing because it was only after thinking a cyclist was peeing on my that I realized *everyone* had a stream of water shooting out from behind their bike.

On the steep, wet descent out of Chickamauga I saw the scariest thing I saw all day. Out of the corner of my eye, something bright in the ditch caught my eye, which I soon realized was a bike. It took my brain a second to register that there was someone lying next to it, unconscious. I briefly considered trying to turn back, but realized I'd very likely cause a bike pile-up with many cyclists coming around a corner and down a hill behind me, so I yelled to the first spectators I saw to please call medical right away - and realized they were already doing so. I realized I was shaking both at what I'd seen and whether I'd done the right thing, but I felt better when very soon after I saw the ambulance on the way.

I expected I'd be seeing my family soon, at the turnaround, and sure enough - there was my mom yelling and pumping her arms in the air! I gave them a big smile and thumbs up because I had a feeling they might be worried how I was holding up in the pouring rain and I wanted them to know I was actually doing okay. Then I was onto my second loop!

I will say, on the second loop there were hills I didn't remember - probably because they hadn't felt like hills the first time around! But despite being pruney from being wet for 5+ hours, I was still feeling good (though laughing at the thought I still had to do a marathon) and keeping in mind what a fellow triathlete told me a few weeks ago - if you feel any emotions on the bike - tired, hungry, angry, sad - eat or drink something. I also have to say - from spectators to volunteers to other riders, I got SO many call outs for my unicorn helmet, and it really kept my morale high! On my second loop, folks recognized me and were even yelling, "the unicorn is back!"

It wasn't until around mile 100 that I really started wanting off the bike - and honestly, it wasn't because I was tired or uncomfortable (miraculously, my shoulder and neck gave me no trouble - despite a lot of pain in training), but because I'd come so far feeling so GOOD and really wanted to get off the bike without any issues - I'd seen SO many mechanicals along the way, and didn't want to be one of them! As I turned back onto the highway toward home, the sun had come out and I realized I had a dull headache so I made a point to get some electrolytes in my body right away (I actually gnawed on a package of watermelon Nuun, because I couldn't get it in my water bottle), and immediately the headache started to subside.

As I made the final trip into town, I realized I was approaching my family's Airbnb and soon saw them in the front yard - including my brother who had flown in to surprise me! What a boost to get me through that final stretch home (when you hit 112 that would be the end of a regular Ironman, it hits you!) Soon I was rolling back into transition. I couldn't believe it - I made it through the bike and it was only 3:30pm, and when I signed up this race, I was genuinely nervous about making the 6:10pm bike cut off. Total time, 6:37:56.

Nutrition: 2 Maurten bars, 1 Uncrustable, 1 bottle Maurten 320, 2 Maurten gels (1 caffeinated, 1 uncaffeinated), 1 chocolate cherry caffeinated Clif gel, 1 Untapped waffle, 1 pack Untapped Mapleaid lemon tea, part of a bottle of Body Armor electrolyte drink and a few gel blocks, 3 salt pills, 4 mostly preventative painkillers.

T2: It was with huge joy and relief when I handed my bike to the catcher, but I was surprised that I actually didn't have the "and I never want to see you again, bike!" feeling that I'd had on some long rides. From there, I a volunteer handed me my run bag and I headed into the changing tent. Another AMAZING volunteer proceeded to unpack my bag, get me sunscreen, and help me when I was dropping things all over the place. This is also where I saw the most BADASS thing of the day - a fellow athlete BREAST PUMPING between the bike and run. Women are fucking magical beasts. I said goodbye to my unicorn helmet, popped on my cap and bib belt, took another puff on the inhaler and took a quick stop in the porta john - despite the rain, I'd had a really hard time peeing on the bike! 7:20 minutes

The 26.2 Run: I set out on the run feeling strong. It was hot, but I felt good and still had my legs. I was feeling pretty confident at this point about my prospects of finishing, with more than 8 hours to complete the marathon. I headed up the hill to the highway, where the first 4 miles of the course is in pretty much direct sunlight. Everyone was telling me I looked strong, and I felt it too.

I stuck with my plan to walk the aid stations. My primary concern at this point was keeping my body temperature low and maintain a heartrate under 140. When I hit the first aid station, I put ice down the front and back of my kit and on my head, splashed cold water on my face and drank some Gatorade Endurance and water. This would be my routine at pretty much every aid station until the sun went down! I was surprised that the miles were kind of just ticking away, and even with my stops I was maintaining a 10 minute mile or below.

The turn onto the Riverwalk - the only portion of the course I'd not seen - brought some relief from the sun. I was a little bit farty from everything that had gone into my body, but I still felt good. I walked the steep hill up Battery Place and was excited to see my family soon. Sure enough, there they were as I turned onto Veterans Bridge! I gave them all huge hugs, and let them I was sticking with my plan to walk the hills and aid stations, so they wouldn't worry if my next splits were slower.

And with that, I was off to Big Bad Barton and the dreaded hills on the backside of the course! To be honest, at this point I was kind of excited that they'd give me an excuse to walk.

Now let me tell you - people DREAD Barton. It's .4 four miles long, and you have to run it four times (two each direction) - but it's actually sort of fun, because it's a giant party. There's an aid station about halfway up it on the way out, and since my heart rate was low and I felt good, I decided to run to that and walk the rest of the way. I did the same on the hill by the golf course, took a quick and not very productive porta potty break around mile 11, and headed back toward the pedestrian bridge. As you cross it, you can hear people being called into the finish line. Throughout the bike and run, every time I saw the mile marker for the second loop while on the first, I'd been thinking to myself "you'll be SO happy to see that next time!" - but never more than here. And I knew my moment was coming.

At the halfway point, I stopped at special needs for a quick bite of pickle and grabbed my socks and a waffle in hopes I could hand it off to a family member (guys, Feetures are expensive!) But when I dropped them less than a mile later, I sacrificed another $18 to the triathlon gods. I was headed back out to the lonely, exposed highway stretch - and I remembered what my mom told me that morning: even if you're lonely out there, remember I'm with you. And I thought about her proud face and arms in the air when I'd seen her last.

People were still telling me I looked strong, but around mile 15 I started to feel a little light headed. My heart rate was still nice and low, so I had a feeling it was the start of a salt bonk. I decided to play it cautious. I'd had a great day so far, and by that point, I had all the time in the world - something like 6 hours to finish a half marathon. I sure as hell wasn't going to risk passing out and being taken off the course. So I walked a little bit, doubled up on my salt pills (I'd only taken 5 all day, at that point), and because I knew my stomach couldn't handle pretzels or chips - I put them in my mouth, sucked on them and spit them out (gross, I know, but it works!) By the time I was turning back onto the Riverwalk the day was cooling off and the shade offered even more respite. I didn't feel 100% back to normal, but it was getting better not worse, so I continued mostly running with a few extra walk breaks, using mile markers and minute markers to motivate myself.

/\ Still all smiles on the second loop, around mile 19.

I was excited to see my brother again at the bottom of the Battery Place. hill! We walked up it together as I grabbed some nutrition, and he told me I looked happier than anyone else he saw on the course. I told him I felt good, and it was true. By that point, I had absolutely no doubt I had another 10k in me. I gave him a big hug, told him I'd see him at the finish line, and headed back toward Barton.

At the aid station on Barton I had my first taste of liquid gold! I squealed when someone handed me the infamous chicken broth - offered at Ironman after dusk. I took a couple sips to test it out on the stomach and dang, that hit the spot. I definitely walked more of the second loop, though I was making a concerted effort to break a 5 hour marathon. Honestly, could I have pushed harder on the run? Absolutely! But it was much more fun to save some energy to dance to the music on Barton (it's a straight up party after dark! Though alas, no one heeded my request to play Hungry Eyes!), get my booty whipped by the sexy costumed ladies in the Girl Zone, thank and joke around with the volunteers at the aid stations and give out high fives left and right. And I wouldn't trade that experience for a few minutes off my time.

Before I knew it, I was back on the bridge and I could hear Tony on the microphone. Rounding that corner was incredibly emotional, as everyone had changed their tune from "you can do it" to "you did it!" and I knew that I had. The tunnel is long in Chattanooga, and try as I might to take it in, it went by way too fast! I did get to see and wave to my family, and had the wherewithal to back pedal so I wouldn't cross the finish line with the jerk from a relay team who sprinted past me at the last second (seriously dude, I hope I'm in all your photos).

/\ Serious glare right there.

As I crossed the finish line, I heard the words I've been waiting to hear since I signed up in May (and really, for much, much longer than that): "Johanna Elsemore, you are an Ironman. 4:48:33

Finish Line: I came through the finish line, and there was Courtney, face glowing with pride as he put my medal around my neck (he signed up on the spot to volunteer to give out medals (smart man right there!) I told him I'd had an absolutely perfect day, and he told me I'd crushed it. It was only then that I thought to ask what my time was - and I was flabbergasted when he told me I'd handily beat 13 hours, coming in with a final time of 12:38:08.

Going into the race, I had said that if everything went perfectly, I'd come in between 13-13.5 hours. I expected at time closer to 14 hours. I completed an Ironman in far less than double the time for my 70.3 in May, which really shows how much training I put in over the summer.

/\ THE BEST support crew!

After getting our bikes and gear bags back to the hotel, changing clothes, seeing off the family and getting Courtney stable (he was in pretty rough shape) we headed back to the finish line. It was the finish line of Ironman Maryland last year that inspired me to sign up for this. There truly is no party like an Ironman finish line party. And in true Courtney and Jo fashion, we closed down the bar - staying to welcome every last finisher home.

Quick selfie with Tony, who I thanked for being the only one ever to pronounce my name right at a major life moment (wrong at my graduation, wrong at my wedding), and for calling me home for my first Ironman.

I have so much gratitude. For the support of friends and family throughout training and in the lead up and aftermath of this race. For my family who came all the way to Chattanooga to watch me achieve this dream - they literally always show up. For my health, and the fact that I could even get to the start line. And most of all for my amazing partner, who trained with me even when it wasn't his preferred pace or distance, and hands down believed in me at least three times as much as I did.

I also have so much pride. I'm proud of how well I know my body, to be able to pace myself and finish with a strong time for a first timer, but also finish with a smile and the energy to keep on dancing. I'm proud of the discipline and hard work it took to get here, but perhaps more so of how I managed to maintain balance in my life - to continue to show up for birthdays and weddings and dinners, travel, and never stop playing as hard as I worked.

Now, the even bigger surprise I mentioned.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING KONA! I'm still in disbelief.

I swore before the race, after the race, the morning after the race morning that I was one and done. But then we went to the awards breakfast and roll down… and my 25th place finish was enough to qualify me for one of the Women in Tri slots (Chattanooga was allotted 100 extra this year, with 16 going to my age group - and 6 people didn't show up to take it - so I got the last slot for my age group).

Moral of the story, in life and in Ironman, you gotta show up to get the prize. This wasn’t even close to being on my radar when I signed up. I just wanted to finish happy and healthy. So, while usually I’m a woman of my word… you don’t turn down Kona. For an athlete of my caliber, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

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theonlyratinalberta · 2 years

Text

What do Back Alleys Mean to you?

To me they mean separation anxiety, running out to the drive way to coax my parents out of their silver beater car and desperately trying to persuade them to stay home from what is probably their first date night in years.

They mean pulling my sister on one of those cheap plastic sleds with the rope attached on our way to the playground. It’s the first time we’re allowed to walk alone. The sun is out and the snow is wet and slippery. When we get home, the indoor lighting seems unusually orange. We stayed out so long that the light reflecting off the snow messed with our eyes, it takes a few moments to adjust.

They mean riding up to the gate as fast as I can on my pink Barbie bike because mom said I had to be home when the sun started to set, the sky is pink and fluffy and I’ll call this type of sunset cotten candy for the rest of my life.

They mean indulging in so much raw, unwashed, rhubarb, sprinkled with sugar that I lost my taste for a week. I don’t know if it’s fully recovered to this day, maybe that’s why I’m the only person in my family who can handle spice.

They mean me at 18 years old, maybe 19. The dead of winter, must have met the boy with long hair and a denim jacket close to midnight. I’m so cold I can’t feel the tips of my fingers. I still don’t get home until 4am. He drops me off at home through the shovelled alley and walks up the hill to his. Our paths cross here and there and he teaches me that intrigue is a habit that dies hard but doesn’t actually mean anything at all.

They mean chasing after my tiny fat beagle with the crooked tail and my slightly less tiny, slightly less fat beagle with the tear in her ear because someone left the gate open, again. They never went far, we always found them together. I think Copper just liked to visit the neighbours and Lucy was just along for the party. Dragging them both by the collar like a two headed Cerberus because I was in too much of a panic to find a leash, nothing is ever in its place in this house. A neighbour from across the way says “you know a leash might help with that.” I think “Yea man thanks for the advice.”

They mean a particular rainy evening, just days after ending things with a particular someone. Garbage everywhere, dents in the gravel filled with water forming puddles I’m almost enticed to splash in at 21 years old, sky pink and fluffy, again. Cotton candy. The air should smell rotten, household scraps decomposing as we speak but instead it feels fresh and cold and my lungs feel full for the first time in three years.

They mean taking the short cut to work at the old folks home, j-walking across about 10 blocks, feeling a bit unsafe at 6am when the sun isn’t out yet, all because I couldn’t be bothered to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary, on principle.

They mean being yelled at in a different certain someone’s car because I was late, again. Begged them to be honest, “Tell me how you feel, I can handle it, I want us to feel comfortable communicating. Honestly I’d rather you scream at me than pretend everything’s fine.” I’m crying now, maybe couldn’t handle it as well as I thought. I thank them for yelling at me.

A couple months later, they mean avoiding the same alleyway because my parking spot is perpetually empty now and I can’t handle it. It hurts to take the garbage out.

They mean new cars in my parking spot, belonging to people who were welcomed into this particular alley for a short, particular time. I thank them for filling the space for the moment but I ask that they don’t come back. The person who led them up those back alley stairs is a ghost now.

Sometimes they mean walking home from work at the grocery store when it’s dark out, “rape whistle” (it’s really just a regular whistle my boss from the daycare gave me, a metal one on a red lanyard) already tucked between my lips, 5’3 and constantly on guard. I really should move.

On a happier note, they often mean entering my apartment from the parking lot instead of the front door, tip-toeing up the stairs trying not to alert my tuxedo cat that I’m home. She’ll be waiting at the door of my 4th floor unit to make her great escape.

It’s silly to be so sentimental of a place deliberately hidden from passerby, a place primarily made for garbage pickups, smoking, edibles, tiny bottles of peach, pineapple, and green apple soju with a couple of girls you just met, furniture with “please take” signs made of loose leaf and sharpie. Maybe they just mean: this is a place between where you are and where you want to be, a place for core memories, the ones that proceed or follow the really big things. The quiet moments where you calmly take a breath to process and accept the dingey parts of you.

#poetry #childhood #sunset #memories #pink #photography #rant #alleyways

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